The Worst Idea Of All Time - Podcast In A Tree 02

Episode Date: June 1, 2021

Guy and Tim are in a tree, on a beach and they're joined by Angella Dravid (Angella on Twitter). Featuring magic mushrooms and ginger slice.The video element of this episode is available to all $5+ supporters at patreon.com/TWIOAT Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi everybody, welcome back to another exciting episode of Podcast in a Tree. Where are we today guys? The Orgural second episode. Oh, this is Orgural. We are once again in a beautiful Behuta Karwa tree, but this time our surrounds are not Grayland Park. We are, in fact, all the way over at Point Cheve Beach or Point Chevalier

as we say in New Zealand. Chevalier if you are cool. That's how we should say it. There's a road in New Zealand called, in Auckland called Gervois Road. Yes. And, of course, it's meant to be Gervois. Gervois. Because in France, you wouldn't be caught dead saying Gervois.

You'd humiliate yourself. They've got trees in France. But in New Zealand, have they got trees in France? Oh, big time. Yeah, yeah. They've got tree fever. Have you been? To France?

Yeah. Yes? There are definitely trees. They don't stick out to me as the most prominent memory, but I'm fairly sure he can't be sure they do but i'm just saying be sure in france they've got trees and they would never say jervois unless they were mocking us i see i've got some bark that's cool just took it off the branch that's very nice they're not all going to be pahutukawa trees on the series but

the first two sure were and maybe the rest of them will be as well. My life for a different tree. No, this tree's excellent. If you are getting the audio product and have no visual reference, the situ is unbeatable, I'd be tempted to say. It's a picturesque day. Once again, we've really cracked it with the weather for this inaugural episode. We're sitting in front of the Western Motorway. Well augural episode we're sitting in front of uh the western motorway well actually we're sitting in front of a beach i can't believe

you started with the motorway we're at the beach we're at the beach primarily we're at the beach but we're also at the motorway you're in like french beach attire well this you've got naval like blue on white stripes i I mean, is that right? It's naval. Do you know I bought this in Greece? Oh, yeah, it's like the Greek flag. It is a bit, but Greece don't own blue and white. True enough.

And I'm wearing a hemp hat, and I'm feeling really good. It is, as you said, it's a beautiful day. It's about 22 degrees here in Auckland, New Zealand, flanked by my wonderful friend Tim. We're very close together in this one. Do you know any facts about trees, Guy? Trees provide the oxygen we breathe. Nice one. Nice one, brother.

Somehow. I don't know how they do that. Me neither, man. Photosynthesis, that's a word. Photosynthesis is... Converts sunlight into energy. Is that right? Could be.

I shrugged. Could be right. Don't know. Could be wrong. Unsure. All I know is that it's so nice to be doing this versus what we normally do when we record things like podcasts. Well, what do we normally do?

Because some people will be listening to podcasts in a tree and they won't have any reference or understanding of our back catalogue and they'll think, why would I care about two fellas in a tree? Well you probably don't and that's fine because the thing of it is, is that Guy and I have a back catalogue of

self-harm through podcasting. Seven years we've been going and the formats are largely around us watching bad movies over and over again or in our most recent case watching bad pornographies once a piece but continually week after week.

Reviewing them though reviewing is a strong word Look at that little sparrow tucking into your food. My food? Didn't you have a ginger something in there, your bag? Mate, what do you think I got up, you know, what do you think I came down the last shower? I wouldn't leave a ginger slice out for a sparrow.

Well, what's attracting all these birds? Maybe a ginger slice crumb. Oh, okay. But no, actually, you'll be pleased to hear I bought the ginger slice with us for my exciting new segment. It's ginger sliced in a tree oh amazing i know it looks like a heavy bag you've got there resting on a branch it's full of all sorts of props which will um also become other other categories oh you got a plate a serving plate and i've bought uh two now this is homemade ginger slice we had a barbecue at my house last night

And our friends Jimmy and Kyra came over And they brought along a lovely Kumita sourdough loaf Which we ate all of With some salt free butter We'd run out of salted butter I don't know why they make the butter Without the salt Tim

The salt's half the thing Yeah it sure is We're breaking all the rules In this podcast series Which I enjoy What do they say? They say don't go outside You want to control your audio

Don't eat on the microphone People hate it Or you could do both Don't sit in the sun And don't be by the beach So here's a We say Hey

We say Fuck you guys We're doing it anyway Cheers Cheers Here's to the rebellion That's very good. Yeah, so they made that themselves.

I love that. Isn't that something? They made it in their house, and they transported it to the house I live in, and then now we're having it in a tree. I am having a—you know how you have flashbacks? I know how—yeah, I know how I have flashbacks. Like a memory. You understand what a how i have flashbacks like a memory you understand what a memory is i've had a memory i'm having a flash forward to me sitting down to edit

this and hearing you me just nibble into a microphone how does it make you feel in the future disgusting and angry how does it make you feel right now i can't hear it in any headphones i'm not wearing any headphones i'm breaking all the rules you feel really good i feel great i feel really good too do you know memories are an interesting concept because all of your memories are false they're just like reconstitution self-built reconstitutions of things that have happened but no one remembers your life exactly how you do that's true you have shared touchstones but even you and your nearest and dearest you and your wife you shared a wedding day. And you both probably remember it differently from your respective perspectives.

We probably do. We probably do. Why are you smiling as you say that? Well, you've got a mischievous glint in your eye. One of us drank more than the other one, and I shan't reveal who was who in this situation. But needless to say, our memories probably will be a little bit different for a myriad reasons but that is a particular day yeah that is a big one a great day though i think we can all agree that's right i was there guy married us me and my bacterial tonsillitis yes here's a good story so guy um was one of our marriage celebrants which was

he did a fantastic job as an aside can I just say the segment's finished now but ginger slice in a tree for me was a huge success yeah I think you really hit it out of the park

with that one do we need any ranking or rating or anything absolutely not just the fact that we did it was a triumph okay and

so the big day comes it turns out registering officially to be a wedding, what are they called again? Celebrant. A celebrant is kind of hard. It's a pain in the ass. So you hadn't had the paperwork in order, but that's all right. We had another fantastic, we had Emma, who had the technical bits and pieces. And then we had Guy to do the friendship bit.

That's right. He gave a great speech. It was a huge success the whole day. Said lovely things. That's right. You gave a great speech. It was a huge success the whole day. Said lovely things. That's right. And then I plied one of you with alcohol to jeopardize your memory of your special day. I will not say.

But this is when the story kicks in. Of course. Which I think you should tell because it's your story. Oh, you want the whole story. The postscript. That's right. I think it's the most entertaining bit. I'd seen a doctor prior to this and I was slated to leave for a comedy festival the next day.

And the doctor said, don't worry, just a bit of a sore throat. Nothing to see here. Jog on, mate. And I said, it's pretty sore. And he said, who knows more, the guy with the sore throat or me, the GP you're visiting? And I said, probably you. So I went to the wedding. Anyway, I actually, I went to the comedy festival the next day,

and the throat became worse. And the day after that, not only was my throat becoming worse, but I could feel my wisdom teeth coming through. And I went to see a doctor in Brisbane. And the doctor said to me, you have one of the most acute cases of bacterial tonsillitis I've ever seen. You've got to start taking these drugs. And I couldn't sleep.

I couldn't sleep at night because I was, well, I was crook with my mouth. And every day I'd leave the house for one hour to go and perform my show, which is an insane thing to do. I didn't even think you were going to this. I didn't even know all of this bits of the story. Anyway, a week passes. I was meant to stay in Australia, go to another festival, but I couldn't handle it.

I said, I just want to be with my mum and my dad, feel as bad as I've ever felt. My wisdom teeth are exploding. The tonsillitis is on the wane, but I couldn't handle it. I said, I just want to be with my mum and my dad, feel as bad as I've ever felt. My wisdom teeth are exploding. The tonsillitis is on the wane, but it's still there. And I haven't been consuming enough food or fluid because it hurts to swallow. And I bought a plane that morning from Brisbane to Christchurch and watched it happen on the plane.

But I have... A full recovery. A seizure. Oh, no. A seizure during the taxi to take off and the whole plane has to stop and they ferried me back to the terminal and i kept saying please let me stay on the plane i just want to go and they said the paramedics are here and i got to ride in an ambulance on the tarmac and i went i was taken to a student's hospital so about 10 different

students of medicine at the brisbane hospital just observed me. They gave me every brain scan. They said, well, you're as fit as a fiddle. The problem is you couldn't get horizontal. And because you were upright, your body started convulsing. And that's why you had a seizure. What an incredible mechanism that the body has at its disposal. It says, listen, guy, you need to lie down. And you say, well, I'm i simply can't everybody says well watch this yeah i'm going to intervene and it did and that's the story but you came back full health as i understand i like to think i've bounced back yeah in fact i've bounced back to the point that i would like to introduce another of our hit segments here on podcast in a tree yes and uh this one's called drugs in a tree drugs in a Tree. Yes. And this one's called Drugs in a Tree. Ah, Drugs in a Tree.

It's the segment where we take drugs in a tree. And because of the type of drugs we're taking today, we've actually had to have some of the drugs before we even got in the tree. Yes, we did. What's the drug today, Tim? The drug today is commonly known as magic mushrooms. The active and chief ingredient that is affecting our brains is psilocybin, a naturally occurring chemical

that is in certain kinds of mushrooms. Other kinds of mushrooms will kill you, but some kinds of mushrooms will make you feel fantastic. Some of them might do both. Yes, that's also true. Do you know the most poisonous mushroom from my memory?

And it's the most commonly seen mushroom in children's television shows, cartoons. I know what it looks like. It's that red one with the the white spots it's called a toadstool in cartoons but scientifically it's called the fly agaric and it's the most deadly mushroom i know wow i know why does they keep putting it in children's products a beautiful little mushroom because gnomes live on them you would want to sort of ward children away from that rather than celebrate them and convince them that gnomes are inside. You know? You're not wrong.

Yeah, I'm a smart guy. That's why I have this magic water. So we've got magic water inside this little container. There's a number of ways you can take magic mushrooms, psilocybin. You can just eat them, usually dry them so that they keep and they sort of concentrate, I think, a little bit. You can make a lovely little tea, which tastes a bit earthy. Lovely.

And that's effectively what I did with this. I put a bunch, sort of chopped them up a little bit, put them in boiling water, and they've been just stewing away in here for about three weeks. So the potency is unknowable, but I didn't drink very much before, and I reckon I can feel a little something going on. Well, the thing is, Tim, I didn't drink very much before, and I reckon I can feel a little something going on. Well, the thing is, Tim, I didn't drink too much before either, and I feel fantastic. How much of that is the tree? How much of that is my natural disposition?

How much of that is the company? And how much of that is the psychosilobin? Psilocybin. Psilocybin. There we go. That I've ingested into my body. How much have you done magic mushrooms much before, Guy? I've had a pretty good time on magic mushrooms a handful of times, and I think, I don't even

think I've had a bad time on mushrooms. That's good. It can go curly, sideways, if anyone's watching and they're a little bit curious, I'd say do your research, read up a little bit, and yeah. Great book by a man named Michael Pollan. Oh my goodness. Called How to Change Your Mind. Oh, what a book.

You put me onto that. Fuck was good. He's a great author. He's more famously, I goodness. Called How to Change Your Mind. Oh, what a book. You put me onto that. Fuck was good. He's a great author. He's more famously, I think, the author of The Omnivore's Dilemma. That sounds familiar. Was there a book about him finding out about food and how it gets to us? Yeah. It was mostly, it's written from the perspective of an omnivore,

and it's sort of about a dilemma. I see. If I was to provide a synopsis, that's what I would do. A narrative book from the perspective of an omnivore about a problem. The omnivore's issues. The omnivore's, yeah, that was the first working title, but they fixed it. That's very good. The How to Change Your Mind book is a hard recommend for me as well.

It does make, I tell you what, it makes being suspended above the ground ever so slightly perilous. Well, this is an interesting tree in that the access point is you walk out onto the tree, but the tree's roots are planted so firmly in an embankment that the actual branches on which we sit overhang. I wouldn't call it too sheer of a drop, but we're probably – It's a bit of a drop. Two metres, two and a half metres above the ground.

And if we were to fall – You'd clip yourself. Well, yeah, it would be – you would damage yourself at your own peril. But, I mean – I'm just not going to focus on that. Isn't it interesting, the idea that this tree's growing out of there, directly in front of us, not beneath us, as you so

traditionally associate with trees the whole situation's quite skew with because it has it's grown horizontally out it's a hoary tree the trees i'm used to go vert they're vertes this is a hoary that's correct maybe we should um uh put that at the end of the name of this pahutukawa. It's a pahutukawa hori. Yeah, yeah. To indicate what's going on with the tree. Certainly, the option's available. We would then, does that mean that we'd have to start calling the other ones pahutukawa verts? This concludes Drugs in a Tree.

Well, that means it's time for our most exciting segment so far. This is a very exciting segment. I can't remember what it is. Well, while the podcast might be in the tree, that's not to say that everything about the podcast is contained in the tree, and we're very excited. This is our first guest we've had on the podcast so far

for our exciting new segment, Guest on the Ground. Welcome, Angela Dravid. Hello. Hi, Angela. Hello. I was in Hello. Hi, Angela. Hello. I was in Brisbane with you, Guy. I know, I was living with you.

Yeah. How was I? You were in your bed most of the time. I was quite poorly. Yeah, you were quite sick. Did you worry about me or were you concerned with your own things? Well, you were having that. I was meeting my half-brother and sister for the first time.

Wow. So we were both going through our own dilemmas. There you go. This is what I'm talking about with memories. Because I don't remember anything about you being reunited with your long-lost family members in Brisbane. No, I felt like it was not a priority. Angela, would you like some sunglasses? I'm okay.

I'm facing this way. You're all right? Yeah. Thank you. Hey, tell me about that experience for you, meeting new members. Well, I guess they weren't new members of your family. Meeting members of your family for the first time. My mum had told me about two children she had before me, but they were taken by their dad.

And I'd known about them my whole life, but I'd never met them. And then I just got an email, or sorry, a message on my Facebook just saying, I think I'm your half-sister and I heard you're coming to Brisbane. It would be great to meet you. Fire her out. And then they came to, my brother and sister came to the show and it was weird because she looked exactly like my mum. Oh, wow.

And that's also an incredibly revelatory way for you to introduce yourself to these new family members because that show was deeply personal that show was yeah a lot of sex prison and uh yeah a lot of sex prison and yeah the angel of draven story i didn't have sex in prison i really couldn't imagine uh much more of a high a high stakes scenario than a comedy show to be one of the early you can just say it made it up at the end I guess what was that sorry?

at the end of the show if you were embarrassed by what you said you just say it was all a trick it was performance it was a lie did you ever use that ending in a short story as a child when you wrote a thing? totally I thought that I really nailed it every time you were like I can do anything I want and it's still set in that I really nailed it every time. Because you were like, I can do anything I want. Yeah. And it's

still set in reality. I can take it away. Yeah. Angela, how is it going on the ground? We're obviously up in the tree, but we'd love to get a report on how things are down there. There were a couple of kids that saw me holding a mic and they walked away. Yeah. What did they look like when they saw you with

the mic? They saw me gingerly walk towards me, like a ginger slice. Nice. Good call back. And is it nice down there? Yes, it is nice. It's full of shells though. Yeah.

I don't like the beach that much when it's got all these shells on it because you kind of walk as if you're know, you're trying to steal something. That's how you think thieves walk? Very sort of unsure and light on their feet? I absolutely know what you're talking about. You do the creep thing as well with the hands. It's the same thing you do with your body when you're trying not to make a peep or step on a squeaky floorboard. Yeah, yeah.

Exactly. It's what you do when you're trying to you understand what we're saying guys I do I actually watched a movie quite recently where the foe of the protagonist I just heard something I thought it was the loudest bird I've ever heard but it was a baby sorry well in many ways children are the loudest

birds people especially yeah I interrupted you guys no no I was just saying that the foe was an invisible man the movie's called the invisible saying that the foe was an invisible man the movie's called The Invisible Man and the foe is this invisible man

and I was thinking because a lot of the scenes are taking place in these very beautiful homes without a creaky floorboard in sight and I thought and that's why you always

keep one or two creaky floorboards in your house or a bunch of shells yeah or a bunch of shells but those are lots of furniture with sharp corners. Yeah.

So one of the challenges was that one of the settings was the home of the woman and the invisible man. So he would have known every floorboard. Yeah. So you've got to actually move the floorboards around monthly just in case an invisible man comes into your house and starts terrorizing you. It looked horrible, by the way. Have you got any trip wires or anything in the place where you live, Angela, in case something like this happens? No.

I don't have a single burpee trap in my house anywhere. No. But this is really getting me thinking. When I was young, I had a nightmare about a robber coming into my room, and so I went down to our garage and I took a small metal chain and I started sleeping with the chain under my bed because I was afraid of robbers. But then my mum obviously, I'd just have the chain, strike the robber if they were looking to cause me harm.

I would have been about 12. Was the metal chain attached to your pocket in your cargo pack? No, that chain was purely aesthetic. This chain was a genuine bit of chain and my mom obviously saw it and she never spoke to me about it but i'd come back from school and the chain would be back in the garage and i'd think what's going on so i'd take the chain and put it back under the bed and it was sort of this unspoken dance we were doing we were both relocating the chain knowing full well who the person responsible for moving it away is but not really talking about

it same way i learned about puberty they left a copy of the book what's happening to me on like a on a table i just left it yeah and they weren't there and i sort of walked past it and i was like okay i'll read this and then i remember seeing a cartoon depiction of an erection it's quite quite a good way to go fairy godmother well the fairy godmother. Well, not fairy godmother. It's the dentist, the tooth fairy. Oh, the tooth fairy, yeah, yeah. A tooth fairy for puberty. A puberty fairy. I think we're straying into big mouth territory dangerously close now.

What, you think that talking about puberty is big mouth's idea? No, no, no. A puberty fairy. It's a monster, wasn't it? Hormone monsters. Yeah, hormone monsters. They've got all sorts of things now. But I think this is- It's a popular show. Should we give them a plug? Should we help them all sorts of things now but i think it's a show

should we give them a plug should we help them out um i don't i don't i don't want to okay i'm not into it avoid it if you can um i think that's a great way to engage with conversations you don't want to be a part of just sort of leave things lying around if you've got an employee that you need to fire just sort of leave the pink slip on their desk don't engage too much if you've got to break up with someone oh here's a fun one what's the best way to break up with someone do you think oh the best way um maybe hold a party and like put some memories on a slideshow and say it's fucking good um like a goodbye party yeah like a goodbye party they don't do they know they don't know they don't know maybe have a know? They don't know. They don't know. Maybe have a wake.

For the relationship. For them with a relationship. Or the relationship. Yeah. And then throw all your stuff together in the hole. I feel like we should do that anyway. We should have like funerals for relationships. Yeah. When they end.

Well, you grieve it. You do. So you should have some sort of. Have your friends around. Or not traditionally, but people grieve them independently. My ex deported me from the country. I think that's probably the best way. Yeah, I would say that's the best way to break up with someone.

It's not available to everyone. I mean, it's a... It's quite a lot of trouble to go to. It's a line pregnant with questions, Angela. Where were you at the time? I was in the UK. He reported me as an illegal immigrant. Were you an illegal immigrant?

Well, my application was in the home office, and it wasn't my fault that my passport expired while it was in the home office. Yeah, damn right. If those pencil pushers had to speed things up a bit, your partner wouldn't have had a leg to stand on. Those meddling bureaucrats. You'd still be in Britain. Did you have a good time there?

I don't know. I realised that if he didn't deport me, I wouldn't have gotten into comedy. Yeah. So in a way, thank you. I don't know. I'd prefer having a... I went too far. No, no, you were right, mate.

With the thank you. No, no, no. Too far. Believe in yourself. No, thank you's fine. I did say thank you to him when he... Did you really? Well, he said I'm sorry, and I was like,

you've got nothing to be sorry for. That sounds... Thank you. Considering the surrounding circumstance, that sounds unbelievably amicable. It's really generous of you, I think, Angela. Oh, yeah. Just saying, hey, forget it.

No hard feelings about the whole deportation thing. Can I ask you this, Angela? What's your history with trees? Trees. Talking trees with Angela Driver. I actually like plants a lot. Not so much trees. Yeah.

Well, can I just blow your mind for a second? Oh, bonsai. I like bonsai. What if I told you a tree is a plant? How about that? So did you know that a banana tree isn't a tree? It's a herb. Banana?

Yeah. Really? The banana tree is a herb. It's a herb. It's considered a herb. My mind is officially blind. Well, because it doesn't have all the parts that a tree would have. What does a tree need to have to be a tree?

Roots? I did Splendor in the Grass i was like uh in the car with the science group and they were talking about bananas and someone said oh you know it's not a tree and i phased out at that point but you retained enough i retained enough you got the juice you got the big bit did you climb trees or herbs as a child uh, I did get high with herbs. Did you? No. Smoked a bit of rosemary. I have smoked a little bit. Do you call it rosemary?

No, no. Tim was speaking about actual rosemary, and I think you were talking about the herb weed. Yeah. Have you smoked that before? Yeah. How was it? I had to cancel two gigs.

Oh, two? Two. Were they on the same night? They were on the same night. One was talking about Happy Families. It was a podcast. And the other one was my first pro gig at the Classic. Oh, wow.

Did you enjoy it before? Well, I had edibles as well. So I was just completely melted into my mattress. Did you enjoy being high? Yeah. Yeah, I did. I found out I was high because I laughed for I laughed for like 20 minutes and then my cheeks hurt and I couldn't stop.

And I just went into my flatmate's room and said, I think I'm high. That's really nice. And what did your flatmates say? They were like, just ride it. Just ride it. Hell yeah. Great advice. I'm glad that you had the presence of mind to cancel your obligations though.

Yeah, well I had to call Paul Douglas. I was like, Paul, what do I do? He's like, give me your gigs. And did he take the gigs? He did take the gigs. Good on him. I reckon he wouldn't have phrased it like that. Paul's a lovely fellow.

He would have been like, I'm going to help you out. Give me your gigs. Give me your gigs. You're too high. Yeah, Paul was a good guy. Do you know if he did well at the shows or did he purposefully tank it on the off chance that people would remember Angela was supposed to be on the show? No, I think Paul

would have smashed it. I have seen Paul smashed and do a gig as well. Yeah, I've seen him perform high. He was on the floor doing something weird. He nearly fell off the stage and he's still killed. Wow. He's unstoppable. Much like yourself on a stage, Angela.

I've seen you absolutely destroy in all kinds of environments. Oh, thank you. Quiet rooms, big full rooms. I don't destroy in quiet rooms. They just get worse. I've never seen you do well on a gig. That's how a guy and I are different. We've got differences like that.

Well, you did say that you guys will remember the same event differently. That's right. Guys and assholes are at colours is perception of other people's performance in a different way. The theme of this episode is memory, in a way. Differences. Yeah. Well, memory is inherently different.

Yeah, it's all about perspective as well. I'm on the ground, you're up in the trees. That's right. How does it feel? It's very hierarchical now that we're doing it. How does it feel being guest on the ground? I don't know. Have you ever sat on the ground and watched a bird's nest? Yeah.

It's like that. I couldn't understand the birds. I guess you don't talk to the birds. No. Did you guys ever go to the pond And then see a family of ducks And then make up their story And stuff Not recently but I feel like that's something

I might have engaged in as a kid Do you still do this now? When I was in the bail hostel One of the girls I used to live with Wanted to drink and so she'd get Vodka And he would sit by the pond and she'd just make up this story about ducks was it interesting no it was like it was just like oh there's the mama duck

and the babe it's still it's still creative you know invention yeah but it's also it is just someone hammering vodka describing ducks well can you describe as well what a bail hostel is for those who are uninitiated? Yeah, it's uninitiated. I think most of us would be. I imagine it being like boarding school. There's like 20 bedrooms in this massive house, and everyone in there was in some part of the criminal justice system. Either they were getting sentenced, so they were on bail awaiting sentencing,

or they had been sentenced to stay there as part of their conditions. Yeah. I like that there was some storytelling going on in that kind of an environment. Well, I mean... With the ducks, I mean. Yeah, maybe it was like...

Maybe that was counselling for her. I don't know. I mean, you've got to spend the time somehow. Well, we only had five hours a day that we could go out. How many? Five hours a day. That's not bad. It sounds not bad, but you had an hour in the morning,

then you had two hours for lunch, two hours for dinner, and an hour after dinner. How would you rate the overall experience at Bale Hostel? Out of ten. Out of 10. Out of 10. While on Bale, like maybe four out of, I don't know, six out of 10. And then when I was sentenced there, maybe seven out of 10. Seven out of 10 after sentencing went up a point.

What would the sort of three-sentence Yelp review be? Three-sentence. Yelp review B. Three sentence. Was there in its heyday, solid stay, wouldn't go back. Thank you very much, Angela Dravid. And thus concludes our brand new segment, Guest on the Ground. Thanks, Angela.

Yeah, thank you. Now it's time for another segment that I can't remember what we've done well we've got we've got two more segments to get through one of them neither of us

prepared for and it's a shame that we've just expelled Angela from the podcast because it's one that she might be good at it's called poetry

well we did establish in the last episode that we opened the doors that's right to the segments but what I did just then did feel quite concluding. It did feel final.

It's a real shame because Angela's a brilliant mind and I'm sure she'd be so good at this segment, but. Everybody, welcome back to the podcast. Our special guest, Angela Dravid for Poetry. Hi, Angela. Hello. How are you going? How was that?

Yeah, it was good. It was good. I needed a break. You feel recharged. Yeah. Yeah. I needed a break You feel recharged Yeah Have you got either any poems you remember or any improvised poetry you'd like to deliver about? Improvised poetry

So you guys actually just talk poetry in a tree We make up a poem I reckon We've never done the segment before We could all make up a poem as a trio Wouldn't that be nice? That would be a treat. That's very good. Should we do a line? Maybe we shouldn't have brought

Angela back on. Oh, come on now. A bit of wordplay, getting into the poetry. I think it's apt. Should we do what, a line each? Swing it round. There once was a man who lived in a tree. Oh, it's a limerick, he said.

He eventually moved out. What an incredible poem. Structurally, very interesting. The language in it felt purposeful, but it didn't have what I would call confidence. The poem didn't possess a lot of confidence. Can we remember it? There once was a man who lived in a tree. Oh, it's a limerick,

he said. He eventually moved out. The end. It's not the worst poem I've ever heard. Angela loves it. It's like life. You go in with a plan. Plan doesn't work out, you move on. Life's what happens while you're busy making plans.

Well, thank you so much to Angela Dravid. Is that the entirety of poetry? Absolutely. Okay. Thanks, Angela. Goodbye. I'm getting pins and needles in my butt. I'd also like to say, I know that this segment's technically finished,

but with reference to drugs on a tree, I'm starting to feel a little bit better even than I was earlier. Oh, fantastic. Well, then it's time to talk about our sponsor of today's episode, The Sky. Okay. The Sky has brought us this episode because in a lot of ways, The Sky brings us everything when you think about it. It brings us trees, it brings us podcasts, it brought us us.

The Sky? Yeah. Yeah. brought us us the sky yeah yeah so i'd just like to say uh if you want a discount on the sky's upcoming um holiday deal just use our code pod tree 50 to get half price at uh at the sky this is a bad other nature products will refuse to advertise with us. I'm just one man trying to do our hair. Trying to advertise the sky. Trying to complete

our sponsorship obligations. With respect to the Sky Bring Us podcast, I guess because satellite technology occurs in or above the sky, it is technically responsible for so much of how we live today. Yeah.

Food for thought. It's now time for our closing segment, and this is, of course, the treater board. This is where we name and rank the trees. It's a real shame we've kicked her off because it would be really nice to get her take on this. So please welcome back to the podcast, Angela Jarvid. Hi, Angela.

How are you going? Yeah, I haven't left. We're really missing you just before. I was going to say you should dedicate it to the ground as well it's not all about the sky oh the ground i am fearful of right now so i don't want to do any sponsorship shout outs because the whole time i've been up here i felt like you know when you fall asleep and you feel like you're falling and then you wake up i felt like the beginning of that for this entire time. Like I'm just about to lean back and absolutely nail myself. Well, I don't like that at all.

It's all right, though. First things first, Angela, you've got an entirely different perspective on this tree because you're, of course, on the ground while we're in the tree. Yeah, I guess I've been looking at it from the root up. Yeah, so have you got a name for this tree? You can call it anything. 660. 660. 660 the tree.

So you don't forget your roots. Really good. The first tree was called Susan for no reason in particular. So just so you know, for those of you listening along and don't know the band 660. No, please don't. I don't want to promote the band 660. A very popular band in New Zealand who have a new movie out

that I forget the name of. Well, it might not be new right now, but they did release a movie. They're a band, and New Zealanders love them. And why wouldn't you? So, the rating scale, Tree can score a highest possible score of 24. Of course, representative of the hours and the day.

The five criteria, out of five, we have rest and relaxation, health, natural beauty, and climability. And then the final four is decided by X Factor. Angela, as you've not driven, I guess climbing a tree is like driving a tree, isn't it?

It's driving your body. Driving your body up a tree. So Tim, I'll get you to do climability. Out of five, how'd you find this? Easy as hell. Five. Five out of five, okay. get you to do climability. Out of five, how'd you find this? Easy as hell. Five. Five out of five. Okay. Well, hold on. Three.

Because you want it to be a little bit more challenging. You can't go very far. Okay. That's great. So three out of a potential five. Natural beauty. I'm going to throw to you for this one, Angela. You've got a different perspective.

How's it looking? I mean, it's pretty good. I think it's like 10. I think it's naturally 10 10 out of 5 10 out of 5 for natural beauty I'm going to just round down to 5 there if I may Health, the health of the tree

it does look a little bare the pahutukawa we were in most recently was in full bloom those iconic red Christmas flowers abound a lot less in the way of flora on this tree, which might suggest a slightly less healthy tree. The roots are a little bit more exposed, raggedy.

I'm going to give this... Oh, nibari. The nibari is strong. What's the nibari? There's a bonsai term for the root, the root structure. Are they strong? Yeah. Well, I was going to give it a three, but we're going to upgrade it to a four.

Never heard that word before. Four for health. Well, because bonsai looks at the beauty of damaged trees that have gone through a lot, and this tree's gone through a lot growing on its side. I love that. Yeah, that's really nice. It makes me feel really nice about the tree and connected to it.

Give it another point. I think 660 takes away from its natural beauty. No, no. We can't criticize the tree for the name you gave it. You it another point. I think 660 takes away from its natural beauty. No, no. We can't criticize the tree for the name you gave it. You gave it. So just refresh my memory. Climbability, it got three. Natural beauty, it got five.

Health, it got four. Rest and relaxation. This is one for you, Tim. Two. Two. Okay. You've not felt rested or relaxed while on the tree. Fair enough as well. Oh, there's a tree up there. But the tree's on its side.

Beautiful. So we're currently on 14 out of 20. And now it's time for the X Factor. Angela, I've got to throw to you. X Factor on this tree? What do you think? It's out of a possible four. It means whatever you interpret it to mean.

It's like star quality of the tree. I mean, I think it might be a three. Yeah. Oh, it's out of four, by the way. Out of four? Yeah. Two. Yeah, it smells like a two to me.

Yeah. Cool. So that makes for a total score of 16 out of 24 for 660 the tree, putting it in second on our tree to board. There we go. Obviously, more trees to be climbed, more reviews to be done, obviously more treats to be climbed more reviews to be done

and more segments to be had but for now I'd like to say thank you so much for listening or watching

thank you to Angela Driver for being our first guest you were the inaugural guest on the inaugural episode

how about that I'd like to thank the Sky I'd like to thank Cilla Seibin I'd like to thank you Tim Baird and the'd like to thank Cilla Seibin. I'd like to thank you, Tim Baird.

I'd like to thank Guy. And the friendly families of Point Chevre who haven't really given us any grief in spite of the fact we've kind of imposed a podcast on their serene surrounds. They've been so accommodating. So thank you, Point Chevre families. Actually, I'd like to thank Sunscreen as well. I've been wearing a bit of it and I think it's good.

Shout out, Sunscreen. Shout out. I wanted to tell you bit of it and I think it's good. Shout out sunscreen, shout out. I wanted to tell you guys because we're at the beach but my mum saw mine and she told me that when the boys are circumcised that they have to go to the beach and have a swim. That's how they heal. Angela, drive

it everybody. You can follow her on social media. The links will be in the show notes wherever you're seeing this. God bless. Bye, Angela. See you. Oh, and zig-a-zig-a. It means shits in a cigarette.

Shits in a cigarette? Yeah, a cigar, zig-a-zig-a. There was a guy who was sharing the same studio as Spice Girls who would take a massive shit and smoke a cigar. So they said a zig-a-zig-a. So it's a shit shit and smoke a cigar. So they said a sig-a-cig-a. So it's a shit that looks like a cigar? No, it's like... You smoke while you're taking a shit?

I think they were just saying that he was such a big boss that he would just take a massive shit and smoke a cigar. So what I really, really, really want... Is a sig-a-cig-a. So it's to have the confidence to smoke while i shit no no i don't know if he did at the same time but this guy was just he was an asshole i think and he was like a top dog so they were like i want to be like him huh that's girl power yeah if you've ever heard it angela dravid everyone stop saying shit quotes and then saying angela dravid angela dravid

everyone uh well thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time in podcast. In a tree? In a tree. It's not hard, is it?