The Worst Idea Of All Time - Podcast In A Tree 03

Episode Date: June 9, 2021

Guy and Tim are in a tree and joined by Pax Assadi on the ground. This episode is brought to you by the letters L, S and D. The trio enjoy some eatable treats, Pax shares his new-found beliefs now that he owns a home and Christchurch gets a good amount of ribbing after Pax shares a story about a dickhead at a cupcake shop. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi everybody, welcome to another episode of Podcasted in a Tree. This is our third episode. My name's Tim Batt. My name's Guy Montgomery. I'm absolutely thrilled to be here for this episode. I hope the vision goes okay. Guy's got a little selfie camera situation going on. We look good. We're in a proper climbing tree this time, brother. Yeah, we're in Francis Reserve in Grayland, Auckland, New Zealand.

It's a sunny afternoon. I actually can't nail down the make of this tree. Pine. We'll go with pine, eh? You wouldn't call it the make, would you? The make of the tree. Someone else has had a hand in the creation of the tree. The model is tree and the make is, I think, pine.

Pinus radiatus. Is that right? I hear people say that a lot in New Zealand. I hear it said at gardening centres and I believe them. For better or worse, Tim, do you know I trust your instincts if you're using a sort of vaguely scientific phrase with Latinin heritage i think yeah tim wouldn't lie about that certainly not or if you talk about technology yeah like you could be making a lot of things up but i think no tim wouldn't do that funny thing is like i am making things up constantly really no not really

well why would i lie about technology for a thing to lie about for sport this is the previous trees we've been in haven't had this kind of like built-in childlike climability and um i've missed it to be honest the other trees that we've been in naturally guy guy's a bitch up with himself and he's got every right to be because he's he's he's made an incredible shot um we're making magic here on the video cameras. We've got so many cameras with us in this tree. The other situation is this is essentially a children's park, a lot of playground equipment here.

I said as I came in to Tim that not a lot feels more sinister than walking past a children's playground packed to the hilt with cameras and then going into a bush. Yes. But this is an interesting tree as well because we've got things going on. There's actually a dog house. What do you call that? A kennel.

Yeah. Well, I was going to say kennel, but then a kennel is where you send your dog when it needs to live somewhere for a little bit. Isn't that right? That's the kennels. Oh, my bad. That's like the difference between an apartment

and apartments. Whoa, whoa. Easy, brother. Sorry, sorry. Easy. My bad. Well, because you're being a little hard on yourself there, and I don't know why. Where's your head at?

How are you feeling? Are you relaxed or are you tense? I feel great. I feel aggressively good. Okay. There's also, just above my head is this sort of makeshift level. I would call it an abandoned ledge. Yeah.

So some people gathered up some wood, some leaves. It's sort of like a human nest. It is. It's a bird's nest, but big. This tree lends itself to high climbing. So I got up there and got a bird's eye view, or in my instance, a man's eye view from on high. And it's rotten to its core. If you were to put a foot on it, it would crumble.

And we've avoided that. So instead, we're perched neatly beneath it. It's acting like some sort of canopy or roof sheltering us from the elements and the elements today are generous i would describe the elements as sun wind and water oh yeah heart no volcanoes no and time you've those are the elements that were sheltered from inside this tree dome you've waylaid yourself there's also what appears to be because i remember hearkening back to our inaugural episode you described a hammock like situation that you made as a child in your tree we've kind of had a run-in with a similar thing no this is a lot more you want to get a selfie

cam on that guy so people die so essentially uh it old blanket that's been tied off at two ends. No one could lie in there. It looks like it's been abandoned. This is like finding one kid's shoe on the side of the street. So actually maybe – sorry, I had this pegged as like a kid's play area. Do you think maybe a rough sleep has actually taken up residence in this tree? Because both the possibilities. Maybe split the difference.

Maybe the kids over that fence there, when they run away from home, they run to the tree. And maybe they're a teenager now. So they're sort of developing a few more adult amenities, a ledge, a blanket. I was thinking about this, Guy, and I wanted to pose this to you. We live in Auckland in New Zealand for the moment. There's simply no denying it. And we have something of a housing shortage at the moment.

And I was wondering what you thought about maybe if we started living in trees as a possibility to you and I, maybe all of us. All of the people. Yeah. We've got a lot of trees here, but we don't have enough houses. And it seems to me this would be a fine place to live. So all of the people, everyone who's not already in a house goes in a tree. Yep. And the people who are in houses stay in houses.

Yeah. It seems a waste to not use the ones that are there. This doesn't feel like a win to us. This feels like everyone stays in the house and then suddenly there's a whole lot of tree people as well, which it does make for some sort of intriguing version of class or home warfare. Yeah, that's true.

Maybe I need to keep thinking of some solutions. Don't be afraid to put that one back in the barn burner and walk around it a few more times. It'd be quite interesting, though, this dual citizenship. New Zealand could be a country of uh what what i would call city folk and the the term city folk would become quite disparaging it's what the tree people call people who don't live in trees the city folk and then the people who live in trees would develop incredibly heightened senses i'd imagine also a lot of spinal problems potentially uh All sorts of issues

on account of, you know, good carpentry skills though, maybe. Have you ever fallen asleep in a lazy boy in the daytime? You've dozed off in a lazy boy in the daytime. It happened very recently. And then, have you tried to spend a full night's sleep on a lazy boy by night?

No. They're totally different experiences. It's the same chair. By day, the lazy boy by night no they're totally different experiences it's the same chair by day the lazy boy is one of the most comfortable and desirable places for a kip but by night you'll be tossing and turning you'll be furious you'll be cold it's not quite right doesn't make any sense does it the the comfortability in a tree is similar by day great place to be a lot of fun a lot of laughs you know anything's possible's possible. The sky's the limit. You're higher than everyone else. That always feels good.

By night, you're in a tree, you're looking at the houses, you're resentful, you're frustrated. You're struggling to find somewhere to lie down. This is one of those situations where I think novelty plays in. Oh, doesn't it always? Trees are a novelty for us. That's why we love them. Tim and I also, for the first time here,

I would say are on different branches. I'm on sort of a bow of the tree that's beneath. It's sort of an offshoot where there are three. Three bows are shooting off the main trunk. And Tim is, well, he's just on a different branch. I'm on a different tributary. It's a nice feeling. We're on slightly different levels. I'm actually higher than Guy rightary. It's a nice feeling. We're on slightly different levels.

I'm actually higher than Guy right now, which is a first in all senses. You're a tall guy who loves getting high. Wow, we don't need to put that on the record. He absolutely refuses to operate without a little bit of something in his system. Hey, speaking of which, maybe we should get into a segment. Yeah, I was about to say the same thing. It lends itself quite nicely, doesn't it, to the introduction of, well, our very popular and world-famous segment, Drugs in a Tree. Drugs in a Tree. So you can be in a tree sober, and that's great.

You can be out of your tree drunk. I've heard that before. And you can be in your tree, you know. You can pretty much blend any sort of combination of substances in trees that you so choose. And today, we are on a substance called LSD. Tim, what's that? LSD, also commonly known as acid, is a... This is an interesting one because it's our first man-made drug that we've been on in the tree. This is an interesting one because it's our first man-made drug that we've been on in the tree. I've forgotten the guy's name who invented it, but it got invented in like the 50s accidentally.

And the guy took an incredibly high dosage and went on a bicycle ride. Was he in Europe? Yes. Good on him. And had the time of his life. And so acid's got a birthday. And not a lot of drugs have birthdays because they're naturally occurring. Your marijuanas, your psilocybin, which is the active ingredient in magic mushrooms,

your alcohols. We don't know what the birthdays are for those, but we do have a birthday for acid. I wish I knew it. I wish I'd done the research. Don't feel too poorly about it. Hoffman is the name that's coming to me. Dr. Hoffman. Maybe that's the guy. We've had what Dr. Hoffman would call a microdose,

which means that you're not sort of totally untethered from reality, but your perspective is slightly askew, enjoyably so. And not unlike psilocybin, it does give you a real sense of oneness with your surrounds. It's actually not unlike what I've heard the highest plane of meditation described as where your notion of individual consciousness kind of melts into uh the idea that we are all one larger living entity everything is shared i love it yeah i don't mind it either i don't feel especially um elevated or high if you will but i certainly feel fantastic i feel really good and and the trouble with drugs in a tree if

there is a trouble which there isn't it's um it's just good clean fun is that monty and i are not quite sure if it's just the elated feeling of being outside in the sunshine um and being in a tree which we don't normally experience it's hard to tease the joy of that out from the joy of having a substance rolling around in your bloodstream i was going to say one of the big challenges with um drugs in a tree is dismounting the tree yeah that is another one something you've got to face after the fact it's all well and good getting in a tree but at some stage you've got to get out of a tree um but the acid's treating us really well i would say um it's just like a nice pleasant glow do you know what my favorite thing is about LSD, Guy? Tell me.

With a lot of things. Oh, is the dog here? There's a dog that seems to live in this tree. No, no, it's not here. It doesn't live in the tree. It lives around the tree. We might see the dog later. I'm not sure.

When you have other drugs, MDMA perhaps, alcohol, probably cigarettes to an extent, nicotine, you get a bad come down after the good time you get a bad time but with LSD and psilocybin, no bad time just good time, just good time reflective time and then the next day you're like, to me

feels like I've had a really good sleep really? to me it feels like I've had a really big think and I sort of sift through the detritus of what I've thought. Should I hold this after we came for a bit? Yeah, why not? I haven't been being a good sharer. You're right, mate. Actually, that's quite nice because it

lends itself very neatly to well, we're going to have trouble doing this at the same time, aren't we? This is going to be tricky. This is a segment that we call Sandwiches in a Tree. Now, you're probably wondering what that entails, if this is your first time listening or watching. Oh, this is going to be quite the balancing act.

Basically, you take a sandwich and you eat it in a tree. I'll hold on to that there, Tim. No, I think I've got something going on. Or do you not rate the performance of this scenario? Might be all right. We're just trying to arrange cameras and sandwiches while recording a podcast in a tree, all right? It's all regulation stuff.

A little bit of ASMR there for my sandwich heads. No one can hear you because you don't have that mic up to your mouth, Monty, but maybe shout. Where did you get this, Sammy? I was just saying a little bit of ASMR there for my sandwich heads. Bought this sandwich from Couture. It's a halloumi and avocado sandwich. We've got a bit of relish, some spinach, and it's on a Turkish bread.

And I see some mayo bursting through a hole on the top there. These have been sweating in the car for about three to four hours on a very hot Auckland day. It's called maturing. They've just been maturing by themselves. They've been growing up. Nothing like eating an adult sandwich. It's a good time.

It looks really tasty. I was quite hungry in the moments leading up to getting into this. Now I almost want to let it build. It's just going to be real good. So the strategy here for the listener is that Guy's going to be real good so the strategy here for the listener can you just walk them through it? the strategy here for the listener is that

Guy's going to eat some more of his sandwich while I sort of I guess shoulder the responsibility of the podcast and the intervening moments which might be a good opportunity for me to visually describe for those who aren't joining us on the televisual production of this broadcast

it's a yeah Turkish, Guy already mentioned that. Avocado, fresh spinach, baby spinach if I'm not mistaken. Relish, halloumi, it looks really good, like a good combination of flavours. I'm going to make a prediction and say that it could do with hot sauce. That's what I'm going to make a prediction and say that it could do with hot sauce. That's what I'm going to say. Having not even smelt it or tasted a single bite,

I'm going to say that that is a sandwich that could have benefited from hot sauce. People who like hot sauce say that about everything, though. I'll just translate that. People who say that about hot sauce say that about everything. People understood it. People like the sound of me chewing into their ear. I literally tried to engineer a situation where we wouldn't encounter this again,

but we found a way to get Monty chewing into the mic. And now I will do so. I'll always remember when you chastised me in our early friendship and recording days, Tim, for eating on mic. And it's honestly a delight to see you, a man of 33, in a tree, breaking all the rules. Can I say this?

It turns out, Guy, you won. Congratulations. I did win that one. There we go. Early thoughts, Tim? It's good. Yeah. I liked it a lot.

In fact, I think it might be time for our next segment. Go ahead. Well, everybody. Do you want me to introduce it? I'd love for you to. Okay. Well, this is a very exciting time. It's always an honour when it's not just us in the

tree, but when someone else is involved as well. And today, it's very exciting for us to introduce our guest on the ground. It's, well, the inimitable, the incomparable Pax Asadi. Pax, hi. Hi. How you incomparable Pax Asadi. Pax, hi. Hi.

How you doing, Pax? Good. I'm just watching NBA highlights on my Instagram, if that's all right. How's everybody doing? Could you just hold off for a second? Yeah, totally. No, I'll go back to the sandwiches, all right? You know, Pax, he's really met us halfway.

I'll let Tim do that. I'm not going to let you do that, Pax. I'm just hoping, even just right out the gate, you can watch the highlights, hear the audio. How's it going down there on the ground? It's actually going really well. I'd like to point out that the camera that's recording me is in a bush, but I'm out in the open.

So what that means is that to people who are playing on the playground, kids playing on the playground, their parents, a lovely woman just listening to music on her phone, I look like a fucking insane person. Yes. Do you feel vulnerable out there on the ground? I feel really vulnerable and genuinely uncomfortable. I look like

I'm on LSD and I think I'm on 3 News. That's what I feel like I look like. My pack just dropped out. Can you hear us anymore or you can't? I'm fiddling. I'm fiddling.

There you go. Not sure if Pax can... I'm giving the dongle a fiddle. Can you hear me now? I can hear you and now I can't hear you. Hold on a second. Hold your horses.

Do not freak out. I'm holding my horse. Pax is holding the, I think he's holding the pack now. I think I need a... Yeah, hey, mate, just hold it gently. I'll describe the technology a little bit. We've got a lot of wireless gear going on. There we go.

And that's kind of what we're in the biz, Pax, we call that line of sight operation. So just make sure nothing is getting in the way of that thing and the other little radio. Could you please just wave towards where you think we are? He's not doing it. He's done it. Yeah, that's great.

He looks insane. You're not far off. We're just a little to your left there. There? Yeah, you're waving right at us. It's like you're looking at us. I would have loved to be in the tree. Nah, not really how it works.

I'm sorry it's not. We're in the tree. Yeah, the segment's called Guests on the Ground. So for you to even express the desire to be in the tree, while fair enough, it's also out of line. Can I just – and I'm going to ask this question. And look, I like both you guys. I think you're both good guys.

Guy, I've come up with you in the industry. Tim, also you as well, Tim. Fine, bro. Yeah, we've come up together in this industry. And I do never, I never want to think the worst of you. Either of you. Okay, but? But does me being on the ground have anything to do with my ethnicity?

Absolutely not. Certainly not on the sort of upper conscious level of thought. It did not cross my mind that us in the tree and you on the ground could be correlated to race. I've bitten off more than I can chew in more ways than one by getting packs on the show here. Let me also ask, do you think your subconscious has played a part? Undoubtedly. I'll field that one. No.

So two and obviously at odds here. Pax, you're dealing with two young guys who are from Christchurch. I don't know if you know a lot about Christchurch. Pax spent a lot of time in Christchurch. Not exactly celebrated for its diversity. Guy, you're going to pop out the headphone, please. I lived in Christchurch for three years. And can I say this?

What part of the church were you in? Initially, I was in Kashmir. Yeah, beautiful Kashmir hills. The hills are alive. For a six-month period while my dad set up the business that my parents started down there. And then we moved out to Rolleston. Truly accessible. Yes, big time.

And then my parents... Absolute shithole. Yes, complete shithole. Then I left to start my stand-up career at the age of 19. And my parents bought a beautiful, beautiful lifestyle block in West Melton. Oh, wow. Yeah. The burgeoning regional suburb of west melton

yeah is that where they are to this day that is where they are to this day and can i say christchurch is hands down my least favorite place in the country wow are you serious i thought it because the times when i've been back to christchurch recently i've gone you know what the city's on the up i fast eddies Eddies? Is that what it's called? The music venue? Yeah, yeah. It's pretty dire. I don't want to get too into it.

Yeah, let's not. But my hatred for Christchurch stems from things I've been called. And one of those things rhyme with Burry and Duncher. Burry Duncher. Far out. Yeah. Hey, we can get into it. If you're not getting into this because you don't want to, you don't.

But if you're not getting into it because you think it's inappropriate for podcasting a tree, I've got news for you. We don't know what the rules are. Things are different up here. We're allowed to do what and as we please. Not limited to, but including. Hey, Pax. Tell me your delightful story

of when you got a racial epithet thrown at you by cantabrian someone yelled dirty curry muncher to me at rickerton mall and what did you this might be contentious but can i say something you know what person fuck that guy was it coincidental that i was eating a curry and i hadn't showered in months yes yes no it, I was in line for a cupcake. Ah. And apparently I was taking too long to choose my cupcake. And the guy. It was someone in the line?

It was someone in the line. It was the guy directly behind me in the line. That is like the unbridled confidence of a white person who's never left Christchurch before. That is disgraceful. They're in a cupcake store. I would not expect that kind of behavior in a cupcake. Well, I don't want it anywhere, but I wouldn't expect it in a cupcake store. Where would you expect it, Tim? This is a really... BK. This is a really

hard time for me to bring it up, but I need you to finish that sandwich because my right leg is keeping me balanced right now, and the pins and needles are indescribable. I've more or less lost entire feeling in my bottom half. I'm not quite sure what the outcome is of what Guy's describing, but I needed to readjust myself.

I needed to replay pretty badly. Hey, Peps. Yeah. So, like, you can't see yourself moving back there? Yeah. That's what I'm getting from you. Tim's saying you can't see yourself moving back to Christchurch. Oh, to Christchurch?

But what if Christchurch needs you? Do you know what I mean? In what sense? In what sense? To make it better. He doesn't know Christchurch shit. Are you kidding me? Listen to the way this town treated this man.

I would rather live anywhere. I would rather live in a tree. Wow. I would rather live in that tree than live in Christchurch. Christchurch can suck my unwiped ass. Pax, That sounds dirty I'm actually, I'm going to double down on that if I can Can I say this?

As someone born and raised in Christchurch Christchurch can suck my dick Is that alright? I mean it's fine I think, I don't know I spent 18 years of my life there And I've got no strong feelings towards or about Christchurch, which probably says something in and of itself.

Probably my biggest regret when I was in Christchurch. Can I just finish this story, please? It's mid-1930s. I'm going to finish my story. We're in Germany. I'm finishing my story because I was talking first. A strapping orator. My biggest regret in Christchurch is once I was in line at Wigan Mall for a cupcake, and there was a guy in front of me, and he was taking so long to order the cupcake.

And I said, do you need a hand? Yeah. And he said, no, I'm okay. Yeah. And I said, okay, I'll leave it alone then. But I could tell that the guy did need a hand. Yeah. And I didn't give it to him.

Did you say anything after? I have to live with that. After that, yeah, I said something I regret. What did you say? I said he's a burry muncher. Those words specifically? I can't remember the first consonants of each word. Right.

Pax, you won't be able to appreciate this in the moment, but I've actually taken a high angle shot now to show guys diminishing power i'm using cinema now to reflect uh the changing dynamics of the podcast actually and i really appreciate that pax it's so nice having you here and we're quite excited to debut a brand new segment with you yeah um called well it's called biscuits on the ground oh thank god i thought it was We Bought You a Ticket to Christchurch. No, no, it's called Biscuits on the Ground. Yeah. So if I'm not much mistaken, you should have a couple of biscuits in your pocket there. I do.

I have them in my hands right now. Oh, you've got them in your hands. Please remove one of the biscuits from the packet packs. Is this all biodegradable packaging? Always. Absolutely not. It takes the biscuits out of its skin or else it gets the putty. Describe what you're seeing and how you're feeling.

So what I'm seeing is a plastic packet that is surprisingly shut tight. I'm having a little bit of issue finding where the – oh, there we go. I found it. We like to keep things hygienic here at Podcasting the Tree. And so I'm seeing what I assume is a Christmas-themed gingerbread-type morsel. I think they were themed... Oh, you've dropped out again. Well, I'm not saying anything interesting.

Let me fiddle. Yeah? Pax, can you hear me now? Can't hear you. I can hear you. You're in and out. Oh, fiddle. Yeah. Pax, can you hear me now? Can't hear you. I can hear you. You're in and out. Oh, I see. Just come a little closer.

You come a little closer to us. Do you reckon I should come a little closer? And just clip it to your chest, your T-shirt. My chest here? Yeah, yeah. I reckon that's good. Can you hear us okay? Yeah, now I can hear you nice and clean.

I've got to get the skinny on this cookie situation. Okay, so I'm pulling out a cookie. It's a star. It's a beautiful Christmas star. I'll hold it up to the camera. I don't know if the camera can see it very well. Me neither. It's a beautiful ginger bread Christmas cookie with some lovely white icing that's lovely and firm

and crispy with some silver glitter that I'm assuming is edible. Like it's not glitter from like a stationery store. Cause that would be, I mean, it would be bad for me. And so,

yeah, it's definitely not from a stationery store. And so it's like that. Yeah. I mean, I don't, I don't know why you had to reinforce it. Yeah.

No, no worries, man. Have the, have the, have the biscuit. Is he eating it? Is he going to eat it?

Just have it. Um, you guys know I have children, right? Like. Yeah, yeah. No worries, man. Have the biscuit. Is he eating it? Is he going to eat it? Just have it. You guys know I have children, right? Yeah, yeah. We love your kids, man. Yeah, yeah, they're great. You're gorgeous girls. Are you kidding me? I would hate for something to happen to those kids.

Has he eaten the shitty cookie? Yeah. Has he eaten the shitty cookie? No, yeah. I don't have life insurance. Can I just say that? Yeah, yeah. I know.

I love those kids. Okay. He's fucking eating it, isn't he? He's a fucking idiot. He's so stupid. He's eating the cookie. I think he can hear us. Hey, how's that biscuit? Can I say I am not a big fan

of cookies. But this cookie is really tickling me. Damn! See the applause. Literally, literally, because that is glitter that I shouldn't be eating. Tickling my throat, and I am scared. Yeah, it's going to make you feel pretty sick.

But the actual biscuit itself has been baked with nothing but actual cooking ingredients, so please enjoy. And just a little bit of THC. That's right. No, it's tender hugs and kisses. Misspelled with a C.

I love it. It was a great cookie. Awesome. Out of seven? That's a weird number to measure a cookie's deliciousness. I think it's a really good number. Because you can't fuck around with rating stuff out of a seven, because there's no middle. Out of seven, I give it a 5.62.

That's fucking big. I love the second decimal place. Yeah, they're really taking the piss out of your ranking system there, Tim. It's fucking big. And I love the second decimal place. Yeah. They're really taking the piss out of your ranking system there, Tim. It's massive. I think that biscuit on the ground was a huge success. Pax. Yeah. While we've got you, can I ask you, what's your relationship to trees?

Did you climb them? Have you climbed them? Do you like them? I am. I'm a big. Now that I'm a. There's some children. Yeah, we can see that.

They can't see us. Hold on. Describe what's happening, Pax. So there's a kid with a helmet who I assume is mentally challenged and then there's another kid with a hat, I think a hat, and they're moving closer to me and I have

to tell you guys, I have a phobia of white children. Just white kids? Yeah. Oh God, she's chasing a butterfly. That is terrifying. It might be more sinister. She might be chasing a moth. Yeah, no. Oh, God, she's getting close. So, let's wrap this up, guys. Sorry, what was the question?

Trees. You like them? Why are you so scared of white kids? I mean, have you seen any horror movie? Fair enough. Yeah, they're always possessed, huh? Yeah, they're always possessed. I mean, these two are definitely possessed. Your relationship to trees. I am a um hello

we're just in the tree I'd say this if we're not arrested after this I don't know really what the Auckland police are doing they're 1000% going to murder you in your sleep um I okay guys I have to I have to fess up. Yeah.

Oh, God. Shit, this is big. Here it comes. Now that I own a house in Auckland. Here he is. I'm a raging capitalist. Really? Yeah.

I was really left-leaning before I owned a house. I wanted to bring down the man. I wanted full socialism now that i own a house and i see my the value of my house rising by the day um the capitalist pig inside of me has taken over yeah and really and really taken it's choking me with its sweaty fat hands oh oh my god and um it wants me to want nature to burn and for buildings to rise. That's fucking sick as hell, dude. I think it's important throughout your life to not be afraid of personal growth.

And it sounds like you've been doing, after you bought your house, a lot of growth. Yeah, man. And I'm really proud of myself for really opening myself up to the true me. I've bought my wife a Skoda Octavia. I've bought myself a BMW 116 M Sport. And I'm really just leaning into it. Is that true?

Both of those? Yeah, that's true. Dude, that is so sick. That's really cool. Fossil fuels are there for the burning. I heard you bragging about the Skoda at a gig the other night, but I didn't know about the BMW Sport. Yeah, 116 M Sport, actually. didn't know about the BMW Sport. Yeah, 116M Sport, actually.

Yeah, the BMW Sport. And I'm just... I'm sick of green. I'm sick of oxygen. Yeah. So this is all in response to sort of exploring your childhood relationship to trees. This is where you're at. Yeah, this is where I'm at.

I would love to see just apartments here. What do you say, in this reserve where these kids are currently playing right now? Yeah. And would families live in the apartments? It doesn't really matter to me as long as I can own a few of them. It doesn't matter. Do you live in the ones you own? Say that again?

Do you live in the ones you own? I own one. And? And I live in it, but I'm definitely planning to not live in it and own multiple. Yeah, and so will you rent those out? Yeah, probably at a price that they're not worth. And what happens if something goes wrong with the apartment? Whose problem would that be?

Well, nobody's really. Well, I mean, a bit of a problem for the people living in it, I imagine. Yeah, I mean, but they can just deal with it and I'll just... I mean, just be thankful that you with it and I'll just... I mean, just be thankful that you have a roof over your head. Wow.

This took a real turn. So I think there's probably as good a place as any to leave it with our guest, Peck Sardi. You can check him out online

if you're a true villain and like-minded people and want to hang out with them. Peck, you took us on such a journey as a guest. Are you okay? Just had a foot slip on the branch. Yeah. took us on such a journey. Oh, you're okay. Just had a foot slip on the, on the branch.

Yeah. Hazardous for a second, but it's, it's a delight to have you as a guest on the podcast. Can I plug some stuff? Yeah, please. Sure. We don't know when this is coming out or if it will, or if we were about to get arrested. So there's a lot of question marks on the production. It doesn't matter then. Oh, it's fine.

No, but it could be huge. I'd quite like to hear what it is. I mean, I'd love to plug my accountant, Gary. Yeah. Gary Whithold. Do you want to plug him like in a sort of romantic sense or mention him? I mean. Is he a good looking cat?

If you're into like short, bald, like sweaty guys. Yes. Then he's. And this is a guy. This is the guy you said who knows heaps about the Cayman Islands. Yeah, for some reason he knows a lot about the Cayman Islands, which is weird, but he tells me about it all the time. But Gary Whithold is a great guy, and he will claim anything under tax. He'll figure out a way to claim anything you want,

even the most... Clearly, this is not a business expense, Gary. I will not be using this for business. And he's like, mate, I'll figure it out. And I'm just like, Gary, this is why I'm with you. So find him in your yellow pages, Gary Whithold. Give him a call if you really want to get around paying tax. Good on you.

You've put forward such um refreshing opinions on here yeah fuck anyone who doesn't own a house currently uh fuck paying taxes yeah just work harder fuck the environment yeah and uh most notably as well christchurch truly can go to hell if it hasn't already really capturing the ethos of podcasting a tree here um was there anything else you wanted to plug, or was that genuinely just for Gary? Give him a bit of a shout-out. And I have a TV show coming out with Friggin' Angel Bro

called Friggin' Angel Bro on the Road, and I have a sitcom coming out sometime next year called Raised by Refugees, which, in my opinion, should not be allowed in our country anymore. Those refugees that are in the show are my parents, but we have enough of them. Man. Lean in, brother. I like it. those refugees that are in the show are my parents, but we have enough of them. Mean.

Lean in, brother. I like it. And, yeah, so that show is about my upbringing in Auckland, and it'll come out sometime next year, so keep an eye for that. And, yeah, vote National. Vote National, everybody. Thanks a lot. If you can't bring yourself to put a big old tick next to that beautiful,

yellow David Seymour, then just biff it over Nationals way. Yeah. And they'll figure out this shit show that is New Zealand. Pax, do you want to help us with our final segment? Sure, why not? It's called the Treat-A-Board. Yeah.

And it's a leaderboard for trees. Yeah. And so the tree tree first of all needs a um this sandwich didn't get enough play on this episode but boy it was good what do you give it out of 10 8 i think that's what you gave the last sandwich i give it a um a 7 i thought it was okay but i think we shouldn't let it sweat in the car for so long whose fault is that i'm actually i thought it was really good not the sandwiches sandwiches. I mean, look, I was hungry. I wanted it.

But yeah, so basically, Pax, you've got a great angle on this tree here. Yeah, great. Could you please give it a name? A name? Yeah.

I'm going to give it, I'm going to call it, um, hmm, I'm going to call it, I'm going to call it National. Okay. National the national. Okay. National the tree.

Yeah, national. Just to give you a heads up as well, Pax, it'll be joining Susan, our first tree, and 660. Angela Driver got to name the last pahutukawa that we were at at the beach. Yeah, great, and then national. Yeah, and national. That's right. So the score is out of 24.

For hours in the day, we've got five different criteria. Yes. Those criteria are, first of all, natural beauty. Yep, that's right. You're outside, you're having a look. What do you think out of five? This one's butt ugly. Okay, interesting.

And you know what? It's not the tree's fault. Okay. There is other shrubbery invading the tree when it doesn't belong in that tree and that shrubbery should go back to where it came from and that's what makes it worse I'm going to give it like a 1

1 out of 5 Tim I'll throw to you on this one Climbability It's the best one we've been to so far I know we've only been to 3 Is that a 5? 4 Interesting so that's a 5 out we've been to so far. I know we've only been to three. So is that a five? Four. Four.

Interesting. So that's a five out of a potential ten so far. Pax, again, I'm going to have to throw to you. I need a read on the health, the health of the tree. Good health. Good health. Green. Big.

That fucking idiot's eating more of the cookie. Fluffy. I can't breathe very well. Fluffy. Is fluffy a word to describe a tree? Usually. I think I'm high as fuck right now. You look good.

Thank you, man. I can't see your face very clearly because it's obscured by leaves, but what I'm picking up is real nice. Yeah. I'm going to give the health of the tree a four and a half. All right, so that's nine and a half out of a possible 15. We're now going to go to rest and relaxation. I will take this one. I'm not finding this tree to be particularly restful or relaxing.

There's a lot of movement. It's not a naturally comfortable place for sitting. True. But, I mean, there's a lot of perches. We could fit a lot of people on this tree. And I had a good time up high. I'm going to give it a three. So that takes it to 12 and a half out of a possible 20.

Yeah. And then finally it's X factor, which is done out of four. Ooh. I think we can probably put our heads together and try and figure out a number for the tree here. I think we should all jointly do that. X factor includes everything. Pax, what's the number that just flows into your head? Out of?

Four. 2.8. I love this tree, and I love the climability of it, but it's got no X Factor at all. It's vanilla. What do you think about it? We had kids coming into it. We had kids.

We got dogs. It's not what X Factor is to me. I don't know if that plays into it, Guy. X Factor is like a kind of almost a mana of the tree. So what am I hearing there was the number? One. One, yeah, wow. So that's a pretty brutal score there for national.

And, I mean, X Factor, a score of one for X Factor is really, I mean, it is in line with the national party as well, which is really fitting. Yeah, that's right. That didn't enter into my decision, but it is kind of a nice sort of poetic symmetry to the whole thing. So that means that National, the tree, is currently third in our tree to board with a score of 13.5.

Lots of room for improvement. Pax, thank you so much. Thanks for joining us on the ground there. Thank you for having me. Tim, obviously a huge thanks to you. I'd just like to take this opportunity to say thank you also to me. Yeah, well, that's who I was thanking. So what a coincidence.

And, well, a huge thank you to the kids who stopped by. Thanks, kids. Yeah, thanks, kids. Really good guys. The future of this country, really. Yeah. The scary, white, tiny. Thanks, kids. Yeah, thanks, kids. Really good guys. The future of this country, really. Yeah. The scary, white, tiny future of this country. And a huge shout-out to the New Zealand housing market on behalf of our friend Pax.

Yeah, big shout-out. Big, big volatile shout-out. Big bubbly shout-out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's all we've got time for on this episode of Podcast Entry. Thank you so much for joining us. We'll see you next time on a podcast in a tree. Take nothing but podcasts.

Leave nothing but podcasts.