The Worst Idea Of All Time - Replay S01E02: Ballet
Episode Date: February 9, 2024Please enjoy this victory lap of Season One episodes as we celebrate 10 years of The Worst Idea of All Time. Join us for our 10 year anniversary show on Feb. 10 (NZT) live and live-streaming via worst...ideaofalltime.com.Original Episode Description: A discussion on the talented Jon Lovitz and his role in the film, the strange ballet recital scene and the best analogy for this film. Also, a revelation that this entire podcast is simply a ploy by Guy for his own gain.Soundwise, we're sounding echo-y as all hell but at least you can hear us both this week. Better next week, promise. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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Hello, it's the present day and you're with Guy Montgomery, who, funnily enough, has just spent
some time with Guy Montgomery and Tim Batt from a decade ago. Just for the first time since laying
down the tracks, I've just listened back to some of the original season of The Worst Idea of All
Time, or as we call it uh you know cycle through different iterations of
that title in the show the worst idea in the world or the worst idea ever and i've got to say it was
a like there's a fascinating sort of palpable nostalgia kick to going back there uh just
me into i can really visualize where we were we were on a couch at Tim's flat at the Wilton.
We were up the stairs in the lounge sharing one Yeti microphone
with some air cartons around it.
And, you know, initially at least, I'd say celebrating grown-ups too,
our second episode of of the podcast um
quite interesting to listen back to sort of early uh rhythms and dynamics i'm very open about the
fact i'm using you know what we're doing as a means of becoming better friends with tim rather
than for the sake of creating a podcast we are joined by you know scores of cicadas in the background
and um we're really getting to know each other and i suppose the form it's uh it's not tim wants
to talk about it's you know like stuff that i remember now and experience today i'm hearing
back for the first time tim wants to talk about the movie.
Guy doesn't.
We're both celebrating John Lovett while also acknowledging
his character is somewhat of a sexual deviant.
It's sort of, yeah.
I'm really excited to go on this journey for the season
to be guiding you through the evens and just to hear what the hell
Tim and I got up to
and how it led us to here.
There's a lot of sort of early,
rather, sorry,
conspiratorial rumblings throughout the episode.
We broach Kmart's prominent role in the film.
Tim, as is his want,
his inquisitive and intelligent mind wants to understand the
economics of the town and grown-ups too we get into an argument about the relative merits of
adam sandler's character as a father figure uh it's it's and we highlight a lot of laughs
and genuine laughs we we already god knows that we don't know what lies in front of us we already discussed
the experience of losing perspective i mean these are just two young boys with no idea what's in
front of them tim sounds genuinely quite upset to be doing it and i seem to be really excited
um and it's just fascinating to think that there's more to come.
So I think you're going to have a really good time.
I hope you enjoy it.
Even though it's an old project,
there's no real trigger warnings here, I don't think.
I just think it's an interesting case study in the past.
Welcome to the Worst Idea of All Time podcast.
Hello you, thanks for stopping by. My name's Guy Montgomery.
And I'm Tim Batt.
And Worst Idea Ever involves us watching Grown Ups 2 once a week and talking about it.
So this is the second time we've seen it. This is our second watch, episode 2.
And holy shit, kill us, episode 2 and holy shit
kill us now, no, holy shit
it gets better, I think
just right off the bat
I'm going to tell you this Tim, I think I enjoyed it more
this week than I did last week, I'm with you on that actually
you miss stuff in the
first watch, well this comes across as being
a brainless, this is a movie
packed front to back with
gags on gags
and there's a lot
of slow burning
jokes a lot of
thinkers which you
won't necessarily
get on the first
watch
that's true
the other thing I
think is that I
I know what's
coming now
there are markers
it's like the
second marathon
you've ever run
and you know
your body's telling
you when you hit
that 25k mark
that 30k mark
I would use a different analogy the analogy I would use is it's like your second tour of you when you hit that 25k mark, that 30k mark I would use a different analogy, the analogy I would use
is it's like your second tour of war
when you have to go back to Iraq
and you're like okay I'm aware
some horrific shit is going to happen
I'm aware I'm going to lose some men along the way
and I'm going to feel things that no ordinary man
should feel but I'm prepared
and the other thing in knowing what's happening
and what is to come is that there are moments
genuinely there were moments when I was enjoying myself today.
Yeah, same.
There were moments where I entered delirium and I laughed.
Like I laughed at gags that the script writers had written to be laughed at.
Should we start by going through some of those ones that really, I think both of us got caught quite off guard by how funny some of these gigs were.
The first part which was like, yes please, was, I don't remember what order it happens in, but John Levitt's coming in.
It's Levitt's man, we do this every week because now's the second week and he did it again.
Yeah, he comes in.
Let's say it with me just real
quick love it love it there we go love it love it love it yeah i love it i love it when you correct
me uh he comes in i can't even remember if we explained this last week but it's just hilarious
he's this really creepy janitor and he pretends to be a yoga instructor and he makes all these women
do these things like bend over and slap themselves on the bottom
and also jiggle, like just jiggle,
just face him and jiggle.
John Lovitz you might know as being,
he's in Friends, he's like,
he does a cameo in Friends,
which is what I think a lot of people
who are around our age will know him from.
He was also-
He's Monica's like food reviewer
who gets really stoned
and he's in The Simpsons as well.
Yeah, he's in The Simpsons as the-
As the film reviewer.
Yeah.
And he's actually, I thinkons as well yeah he's in The Simpsons as the film reviewer yeah and he's
he's actually
I think even in his bio
I read once
ages ago
that like he's perpetually
the reviewer
that's his character
that's his
his piece that he
adds to any enterprise
they really wrote him
a gem of a piece
in this script
because he's not a reviewer
he's just some weird guy
who shows up twice
once
and he's actually
the only character
now I think about it, who doesn't
get invited to Adam Sandler's big party
That's a good point, because there's approximately
45 to 50 thousand
people at the party in the end, and John Lovitz
is nowhere to be seen. Well even if he was, he was
off camera, but you'd think he would have been causing some sort
of mischief. The second thing you get to see from John
Lovitz is uh... I like
that you looked to me for approval
Is that how you pronounce his name
yes it is
I did look to you
for approval
so you'll stop
correcting me
uh he's
they're watching
a kids ballet recital
and the ballet teacher
is really attractive
and he's
standing up
above the lighting rig
just watching
with binoculars
with binoculars
it's a really
untoward scene actually
watching the instructor
going
I'm having a
wonderful time
his delivery of that
line is like
one of the greatest
moments on film
in the history of
human cinema
see and this is
what worries me
is you've lost
you've already
you've lost perspective
I haven't man
you've forgotten
what a movie is
you go back
and you look at
that little segment
of the film
and you tell me
I'll do it next week
you tell me that
isn't the best
delivered line I'm not doing any pro bono work on this movie I'm not going to watch it in my spare time at that little segment of the film and you tell me I'll do it next week you tell me that isn't the best to live in life
I'm not doing any pro bono work on this movie
I'm not going to watch it in my spare time
so that was probably the first
that was a two part but still funny
but in the ballet recital
he has a couple of absolute
pillars and I can't imagine that Adam Sandler
or the other dude who wrote this, I think it was three
guys, thought of these lines
they must have been from John Lovett.
He says,
I'll go out of order,
but he says,
you're all prostitutes.
When he gets found out,
he promptly leaves the room.
He just shouts that out
to all the women at the yoga club.
Do you think he was just shooting
on the lot next to the movie
and just swanned in
and just threw out a couple of ad-libs?
You're all prostitutes.
Just sort of for a laugh.
There's no way they'll use this stuff.
And then the editor was like
that's gold
that's pure love
it's gold
what was the other one
that he says before that
when he's in the yoga room
uh
I don't know
it was really good
there's another
really good line
it's not important
you know what is important
we'll get it next week
while I think of it
yeah because we're just
going to keep adding
to this list
that doesn't get resolved
did you remember
what that movie was that you were talking about in episode one that you saw and walked out of that was no I didn't walk think of it, yeah, because we're just going to keep adding to this list that doesn't get resolved. Did you remember what that movie was that you were talking about in episode one?
Oh, yes.
That you saw and walked out of?
No, I didn't walk out of it.
I walked home and reviewed it.
It was I Love You, Beth Cooper.
Did you ever see it?
No, but I've heard of it.
And it starred Hayden Panettiere.
Am I saying that correctly, Mr. Pronunciation?
I think so.
I believe that's correct.
Yeah, no, that movie, I mean, that's probably...
Pronunciation. Don't be so patronising. Patronising. believe that's correct uh yeah no that's that movie i mean that's probably pronunciation
don't be so patronizing patronizing uh that movie is in the same same ballpark as this movie in
terms of terrible just terribleness the other funny gags uh and david spade's son yeah he first
meets david spade he's got a crudely drawn stick figure with a the word him and an arrow pointing
at it and he holds it up next to David Spade
as if he's checking
cross-referencing the picture.
So this is David Spade's kid
who has never met his father
and obviously you would
carry a photo
or a likeness around
so you can ID
who your dad is
and as a guy
he's got a crudely drawn
stick figure
wearing a hat.
And that's actually
I mean you could probably
put that gag into
sort of any
primetime sitcom
and it would hold I think. Yeah. Maybe. Well I've got the feeling that's not the first time You could probably put that gag into any primetime sitcom,
and it would hold, I think.
Well, I've got the feeling that's not the first time they've used that gag,
to be honest with you, Monty.
I reckon that David Spade's probably shoehorned that into a few episodes of the shows he's done.
Just Shoot Me, and then House of...
No, what was the one he did?
He was in it after John Ritter died.
Oh, Eight Simple Rules.
Eight Simple Rules for dating my teenage daughter.
Yeah.
The other funny moments,
just while I can remember them,
the bus driver guy,
I can't remember who he is, he's sort of a character.
I'm starting to get the character names now.
His name is Nick.
That'll be when we know we're too far gone,
when we start referring to the characters as their
actual names rather than the actors.
But he does a poos in a Kmart toilet.
And when he's doing the poos,
he yells out,
what is it?
Get out of here!
Get out of me!
And that's funny.
And also,
while we're talking about the Kmart part,
there's like half an hour of the movie
is set in a Kmart.
Yeah, we need to...
There's logos everywhere.
We need to delve into this.
Adam Sandler references Kmart
outside of Kmart,
either side of the scene.
Kmart definitely bankrolled part of this film.
It was absolutely promotional considerations
given to the shithole that is Kmart.
This film had a budget of $80 million
and a cast of approximately half of 1 million people.
So someone's paying for that.
Did that actually have a budget of $80 million?
Yeah, and it made $230 million, I think, internationally at the box office.
$230 million?
Yeah, yeah.
So it made its money back.
And then some.
Yeah, but it's like, with a movie like that,
it's actually really hard to lose money
when you have that many big-name stars in it,
because they do all this crazy accounting and shit.
It's like a drug ring, man.
So, I mean, you think that this is a movie that was written to a formula. This is a movie that they're making, and they, I mean, it's like a drug ring so this i mean you think that this is a movie that was written to
a formula this is a this is a movie that they're making and they i mean it's but it seems like
they've missed it i'm no film buff guy montgomery but it seems like they've missed all the classic
beats of any particular genre that's not important because if it may well it is important obviously
in terms of making a movie but as far as measuring success in Hollywood goes, you make
almost three times your budget, surely that's
a success. Yeah but by that yardstick
wouldn't everyone just be doing porn?
Some hikes in this film, you know what
will get her a lot of money and financially
successful? Pornography would man.
That's too great a leap, I'm just saying
who are the people who are going
out and spending their hard earned, obviously
we bought a copy legally from iTunes but like how do they know that this many people are going out and spending their hard-earned... Obviously, we bought a copy legally from iTunes.
But how do they know that this many people are going to see this terrible, terrible movie?
Because when you pack it out with this many known commodities,
and holy fuck, the cast in this movie rivals...
It is loaded.
Like, the Hobbit.
Ocean's Eleven.
Yeah.
Oh, that's true.
The primary cast is huge.
But also, just the secondary revolving cast is huge but also just the secondary
revolving cast
of characters
that they just
there's a thing
that happens in this movie
where if a scene's
not working
they just insert
30 more people
into the scene
and you don't have
to see those people again
it's just for that
specific scene
it's fucking nuts
but anyway
you had an original question
I can't remember what it was
about financial success
in Hollywood
the point being
if you have so many people like David Spade and Chris Rock and Kevin James,
you kind of can't lose.
It's really hard to lose money.
Because people will go and see it.
They'll be like, I know who that is.
So does this mean that we lose faith in humanity?
That we don't have a more discerning movie going public?
I lost faith in humanity after the first watch of this film.
I don't know where your head's at
I'm sort of
I don't know
I'm sort of just doing this
I just think
I'm pretty much using this
as a tool to become
better friends with you Tim
I just think that
this is
this is a
this is going to be
an experience
of joint suffering
okay well let's explore
that a little bit
because you've got
the strangest vehicle
to try and forge
a relationship with me out of.
That's right.
You could have gone, hey, Tim, do you want to go play pool every Monday?
Should we go and play pool and we'll get real good at pool?
Or we could both buy a computer game that would be fun to play.
Do you know, all of these tried and true friend-making techniques,
what I'm doing is I'm trying to forge a unique relationship
a relationship built on
I don't know what
One of the worst films ever made
I guess a relationship built on
the bedrock of
Grown Ups 2. Out of your menu of
options, why
did you pick this format and specifically
this film? I just picked
the film because you...
I picked the film, actually.
You suggested grown-ups, though.
Did I?
Oh, no, I suggested grown-ups.
I said grown-ups, too.
Yeah.
Both are bad options.
Look, I just thought it would be fun
to do this with someone every week,
and then eventually we'll go insane together.
Where were we?
Does it matter?
Okay.
How are you going?
Look, man.
Don't talk about the movie just for a little bit.
Let's have some reprieve.
How's this guy going?
How's Tim back?
Yeah, I know.
I want to take a step back and it's this movie related,
but I am a little worried.
You mentioned this before.
Um,
I feel like I may have lost a bit of perspective because there were real
moments of this film where I was going,
Hey,
you know what?
This is all right.
This isn't a terrible film.
Absolutely.
And that makes me concerned that I've lost,
um,
kind of my grip.
No,
you just consider it.
Just,
this is sort of,
this is a safe place when we're watching the
movie and we're doing the podcast nothing is real so this is a place where you can feel any emotion
and that's okay because you're not you're not of sound mind you're not quite right but i'm just i'm
worried because from week one and uh so from week one i went in unknowing and unscathed and unhurt
and i went into that experience um basically tearing my hair out by the end of the film.
You know, clock watching, wondering how...
I stopped the movie multiple times so the timer would come up to see how much more of the film there was to go.
And this week, no stopping.
This goes back to the marathon analogy.
There are markers.
I mean, it's like, for instance, when we were at the party,
the party at the end of the movie,
and it's before all the fraternity boys show up.
Yeah.
And I was saying, we're near the finish line,
and you said you think that,
but there's actually quite a lot of stuff to go.
And I was right.
I recounted it out loud, but see, we know now.
We know there are certain moments when you reach that and you go,
okay, obviously this is a problem because there's still an hour to go but at least now i know there's only an hour to go it's not
like this never-ending open-ended okay nightmare guy i want to drill down into i i feel like we
should move our spotlight of focus back to the film i don't think that's necessary i think i
want to talk about the ballet recital and i want to talk about the mood of which that was shot and just kind of
how it gets presented because it's
creepy. This is a children's
ballet recital. For me the creepiest
or when I saw it
today and I was like this is a bit
wrong is when, because Kevin James
pretty much the whole town shows up to this
ballet recital because the ballet teacher at the
school is really attractive
and sort of
and I wouldn't say
she's naively
she's not naive
in the way she advertises this
she knows it
and it's sort of
an opportunity for her
to flaunt her stuff
before the girls
get to flaunt their stuff
in the recital
but it's such a strange
environment to apply
the marketing technique
of sex sales
that's right
it's very strange
because these kids
are very young
they're very young
and Kevin James
is filming it
on his little video camera
Kevin James films a lot of garbage in this movie.
There's another scene where they make this guy pretend he's pooing ice cream.
We talked about this in the show.
And Kevin James is taking out his phone and he's filming it.
This is a really seminal moment in his day.
So he's filming at the ballet recital.
And the wives, Adam Sandler and Selma Heifer behind him
and him and his wife
his name we should
probably learn
whose wife
Kevin James' wife
yeah
he only calls her honey
her name never
actually gets used
in the movie
well do you know what
just a brief
side step
I was really
listening out this time
to see if
Hiccups McGee
had a name
the son of David Spade's
child's mother
she doesn't
at no point
do they bother
naming that character
that's right
anyway
so Kevin James
is filming it
and the wives
are going
oh isn't she cute
isn't she adorable
referring to Adam Sandler's son
yeah
and then Kevin James
is just muttering
under his breath
yeah I'm watching her
yeah
yeah I'm looking at her
and obviously
he's muttering about
the ballet teacher
but the wives
don't know this I'm assuming and so they're just's muttering about the ballet teacher but the wives don't know this
I'm assuming
and so they're just okay
with Kevin James
sitting there filming
mumbling
yeah I'm watching her
yes
I mean
and this is just a huge
the whole time is weird
there's a moment
where they pan across
all of the dads
who are like
Kevin James actually
is in the crowd
with the mums
and everyone else
is against the back wall
because they've been
driving around
in a school bus all day
because
and the police force escorted them to the recital
while firing their guns out the window.
Picturing Shaq, and I'll tell you what,
that sequence is fucking funny.
Yeah, you had a good one.
This movie, but there was something uniquely hilarious.
You said that at the moment.
I did.
This is funny.
This is funny.
A police car escort that is riding in front of a school bus
which is dragging an inflatable raft with a drugged
out bus driver
where the cop car
is firing its guns
a la that crazy Texas dude with the
gallon hat from the Simpsons out the windows
screaming
just careening through the neighbourhood
that is funny to me
again I see
it is funny it's again I see it is funny
it's ludicrous
it's big
and it is sort of funny
but I don't know
if it's funny
outside of the context
of the film
there was other moments
I thought were funny
the other moment
I always laugh
twice I've laughed
is when Taylor Lautner
who's in the fraternity
starts doing backflips
I talked about this
last week as well
and David Spade
says that guy behind you
is doing backflips for some about this last week as well and david spade says that guy behind you is doing backflip backflips for some reason and it it rang true for me again that this is david
spade stepping outside of the world of the movie breaking the fourth wall and saying what the fuck
is going on here the other moment you were talking about is adam sandler yes they're in the supermarket
and he runs into those strangers and he goes he wants everyone to disperse and he goes i don't
think any of these conversations are going to go anywhere and then he turns to the camera and he goes he wants everyone to disperse and he goes I don't think any of these conversations are going to go anywhere and then he
turns to the
camera
and he winks
and then he
pulls the fingers
and runs off screen
and it just goes
to the next scene
which is amazing
because you could
understand the actors
trying to insert
cries for help
in this film
but Adam Sandler
wrote this
no
he did
I'm pretty sure
I'm not going to
go back and watch
the credits
because as you
mentioned there is
no part of me that has a desire
to watch this movie outside the confines
of having to for this podcast.
But I'm pretty sure he's one of the three dudes
who wrote this thing.
Fact.
Wow.
So, yeah.
Anyway, back to the ballet recital.
I really want to drill into this.
So there's a pan shot of the dads at the back wall
and they're all mouth agape
looking at this ballet teacher
who is very attractive
there's no getting past that
she's a very attractive woman
there are
huge shots of her cleaver
she is crawling on the ground
in a very sexually submissive position
she's crawling, she gets all of the ballet
students to crawl, and by the way the dance they're doing is not ballet.
It is so far from ballet.
It's like some sort of lame interpretive hip-hop dancing.
But she gets all of the girls to crawl
from the back of the stage to the front of the stage.
And she sets up in front of all of them and crawls.
And it's a big shot down her cleavage.
And I'm just thinking, why are you...
Well, obviously she didn't write the script,
but as the character of the ballet teacher,
why are you exploiting yourself and taking the focus off the kids?
And she is front and centre.
Like, there's something...
And you could probably say this for every character in the film.
There is something mentally wrong with this character.
Because she does.
She can't let the kids be the stars of this show.
She is in the middle.
She is in front of all of them. She's blocking a couple of kids at one point. That's right. She can't let the kids be the stars of this show. She is in the middle. She is in front of them.
She's blocking a couple of kids at one point.
That's right.
She is.
But once again, John Lovitz,
thank Christ he's in this movie
because my God, he saves that scene
by appearing in a balcony by himself,
presumably masturbating with a pair of binoculars.
Well, it's not specifically shown,
but it is sort of suggested
that that's the sort of behaviour he might take part in.
And just that line, I'm having a wonderful time.
It's so good.
We're going to ignore the pedophilic undertones of his character.
We're going to look past them.
We're going to assume that this is a guy who is sexually attracted to adults.
I think he's a sexual deviant is what he is.
Yeah.
Because he doesn't take a kids yoga class.
He takes a yoga deviant is what he is. Yeah. Because he doesn't take a kid's yoga class. He takes a yoga class of...
That's true.
...of grown woman.
And he's excited to be at the ballet recital
because the teacher, who is in her 30s, I would say,
early 30s, who is married to Stone Cold Steve Austin,
because why not?
It's grown-ups too.
She is very attractive and an adult.
The other stuff that happens in this movie,
I mean, it seems seems obviously it's silly
to demand
that the
parenting
or the example
of parenting
shown measures up
to any sort of
standard of parenting
but none of the dads
have any idea
about what their kids do
Chris Rock's
completely taken aback
that his daughter
can sing
and she's about 14
Adam Sandler
finds out his kid's
really good
at kicking footballs and
before he breaks his leg and when he breaks his son's leg the first thing he says is oh my god
i'm so sorry is don't tell your mother and he does the classic adam sandler yell adam sandler
yeah his daughter says you were just yelling at me and then adam sandler on the way to buying
ice cream adam sandler in front of all of his friends and family, yells at his daughter,
I DON'T YELL AT YOU!
It's freaky, man.
No one should have to go through that.
No one should have a father like that.
It's awful.
And Kevin James isn't aware that his son is a piano virtuoso.
Everyone's caught off guard.
That's right.
By skills that their children have.
And some of their children are quite old.
And the way that the filmmakers frame it is that
it's meant to be heartwarming when they discover the stuff like the music always changes
and you get these sort of slow shots of the faces as they realize that their children have talent
but that's not right it should just be like they should know they should know so far up their own
asses pissing away every fucking work day at kmart they don't have any time to see what the actual
kids are doing Kevin James' response
to finding out that his child is a
borderline musical genius at age
8 on the piano is to
in quick succession burp
fart and sneeze
and then claims also to be
a genius. We need to
talk about the burp fart sneeze
it's got a name I don't remember it
burp snarting I think they call it burp, fart, sneeze. It's got a name. I don't remember it. Burp snarting, I think they call it.
A burp snart.
Burp snart.
Anyway, so Kevin James' character,
probably the only reason that these guys were friends with him
in intermediate school is because he can do this thing
where he sneezes, burps, and farts at the same time.
And I'm assuming these guys have been friends for what?
30 to 40 years.
It feels like it.
And it's still still like they are still
every time he does it which is several times a day yeah they are impressed as if it's the first
time they've ever seen it and they have the intellectual capacity of a 12 year old boy
at one point they use the burps sneeze fart to to unify like five different dinner you know
there's all the dinner scenes and they're all explaining it to their families like no one else in the family
knows what it is. This is like
one of the only things that they talk about
in the town. It's a strange thread
where there is a scene where
similar to the start of the film where it has a little vignette
of how everyone's morning starts in the
family. They're going through dinner time
at everyone's respective house
and the kind of, the unifying
thread that they've decided to tie their storylines
together is every dad explaining to their
family how fantastic Kevin
James is at being able to
emit every bodily function
at one time
and then David Spade
tries to show his son it and he kind of does it
and then he says I think I shat myself
Adam Sandler does it at the very end of the movie
literally the final words, the final scene I shat myself Adam Sandler does it at the very end of the movie literally the final
the final words
the final scene of the movie
Adam Sandler
who
he's like
he's about to
have a lovely time
with his
with Selma Hayek
they're married
they're about to do
what married people do
they've overcome
some adversity
he's happy that
there's a fourth child
on the way
they're just about
to get on the good foot and do the bad thing and the last thing we hear is adam sandler doing it and celebrating
yeah yeah that is a man uh who not only doesn't deserve a family but perhaps doesn't deserve
any kind of relationship that's that's long lasting with people like his friendships and
things he in this movie who is the biggest piece of crap. He's such an
arsehole to everyone around him. He's abusive
to his kids. He breaks his kids
leg. He is so unhappy
at the prospect of having another child to Selma
Hayek who is obviously very emotionally
invested in this. Even before you find out she's pregnant
you know that this is important to her.
I think you're being a little hard on Adam here.
I absolutely know.
He's loving. There's a nice dinner table scene when he sits down and says,
this is my favourite part of the day.
I get to spend it with my four best friends.
Because everyone fucking hates him because they don't have to hang out with him.
No, they don't hate him.
They like spending time with him.
He's the fun, goofy dad.
They don't know him.
Do you know why his four family members are his best friends?
Because no one else can fucking tolerate it.
Are you kidding me?
Did you not just watch him spend like three hours
in Kmart with Kevin James, Chris Rock and David Spade
and a whole handful of others
who would wish they could get involved
in the circle of French?
They're on the gravy train.
Not on the gravy train.
They've got jobs.
David Spade helps out at the go-kart track.
That pays pretty good.
Kevin James, he owns almost the greatest body shop,
the car shop in town
Chris Rock is a cable guy
actually grossly negligent
to their job
yeah now listen
this is something else
I wanted to drill into
a little bit
with this episode
no one can perform
their jobs
and none of their jobs
are very difficult
I don't understand
how the economy
of this town works
because you never see
anyone doing their job
Adam Sandler
when he made a lot of money
it's all explained at the end of the movie Adam Sandler made a lot of money it's all explained
at the end of the movie
Adam Sandler
so until Lenny Faser
went to Hollywood
made a lot more money
than any of you
knuckleheads will probably make in your life
and he came back to this town
do you know why?
because it's his home
this is funny
because he's talking to the college kids
who are probably going to go on to
Silicon Valley jobs.
They might be working at Chase Manhattan.
They're made to look like boneheads.
And they are boneheads.
But I'm saying, Adam Sandler, you're right.
He does bankroll pretty much the whole town.
Yeah, but also, at no point is anyone performing the task
which they give to society.
Kevin James is almost doing a job.
Kevin James is at no point doing his job.
We go to his workplace.
When?
We go to the body shop
and then David Spade climbs in the tyre
and spins through the whole city.
Yeah, but none of them are performing the job
which they're tasked to do.
They put David Spade...
He's the owner.
He shows up and he provides encouragement
and then he goes and goofs off with his wacky friends.
That's what I mean though.
Okay, so let's go through the movie briefly. The bus driver is the first person we see... Provides encouragement And then he goes And goofs off With his wacky friends That's what I mean though Like okay
So let's go through the movie
Briefly
The bus driver
Is the first person
We'll see
He's wasted on drugs
He's drugged out
His fucking mind
It would be
The mailman
The mail
But we don't see him
Delivering the mail
We see him talking about
Some high ex bra
Exactly
Who else has an occupation
Who we see
The yoga teacher shows up
And takes
No no no
We see the janitor
Before the yoga teacher Who is not cleaning anything He's perving on women The we see the yoga teacher shows up no no no we see the janitor before the yoga teacher
he's not cleaning
anything
he's perving on women
the yoga teacher
is the one exception
to this rule
we don't actually see it
but it's implied
it is implied that he
can perform his job
he's the only one I see
we go through
even enough
even okay
so then we're in Kmart
for approximately half of the night
no one is doing their job
except for that old guy
who kicks the bus driver
out of the bed
and then makes him stop doing the poos on the toilet.
Oh, no, but he says, he gets on the loudspeaker and says,
clean up on aisle six.
That's right, he's not cleaning.
So he's not cleaning, he's passing the buck.
Someone else we don't see is doing their job.
The guy who actually works at Kmart,
who is the coil third, Chris Roth.
Holy, that's for next episode.
We'll get into that
catchphrase
um
my point being
no one is performing
their role
no you're not wrong
it's
it is
it is flawed
how does this economy work
no one's contributing anything
this is why America's
going down the toilet guy
because no one's
actually pulling their weight
and everyone's
they're on the teat
they feel entitled
they're all on the
they're all on Hollywood's teat
you know
listen we've
reached the maximum
length of which
we promised to
do these for
I don't think
anyone wants to
listen to any more
of this
how are you going
though
how was your week
just quickly
look man
it was alright
up until today
you
it's going great
I love this
I can't wait
to come back
to your house
next week
spend an hour 40 wriggling on a couch next to you
and then complaining into a microphone
for 25 minutes after that
this is the worst idea in the world
on that note
the worst idea
no it's the worst idea in the world
it's also the worst idea ever
of all time
of all time
if you want to get in touch with us
do so on Twitter
my Twitter handle is
tim underscore bat b-a- twitter my twitter handle is tim underscore
bat b-a-t-t mine is guy underscore mont and uh send help hey listen pray for us send help send
snacks send snacks just you know just have a great day don't watch the movie we'll do that for you
don't watch the movie can't stress that enough please don't watch the movie. We'll do that for you. Don't watch the movie. Can't stress that enough.
Please don't watch the movie.
Alright,
but if you did enjoy it,
make sure you subscribe and whatnot.
And also,
I'm going to be on
our friend's podcast
Cheap Tuesday
watching iFrankenstein,
which compared to this
is a bloody marvel.
Well,
I'm going to one-up you.
I'm going to be on
seven days this week,
so watch that on TV3.
but now we've both
dated this podcast terribly.
Oh,
wait.
Oh, we have. I was going to say, you're also on TV. Oh, but now we've both dated this podcast terribly. Oh, wait. Oh, we have.
I was going to say, you're also on TV.
Oh, yeah.
But I don't know if we want to cross those streams
because I feel like the publicity department may have words with you.
Look, thanks for listening.
Bye, everyone.
Go do something better with your time.
Lots of love.
All the best.
The worst idea of all time.
Podcast.