The Worst Idea Of All Time - Replay S01E35: Bathroom
Episode Date: March 19, 2024Please enjoy this victory lap of Season One episodes as we celebrate 10 years of The Worst Idea of All Time. New episodes posting on our Substack.Original Description:Penny Farthings, got em. Hypothet...ical yet lengthy discussion about a deer dying in the front yard of the main character? Yup. Appreciation for Stone Cold Steve Austin's pronunciation of 'sack of potatoes'? Almost present. Plus, Guy's musings on the pom and ceremony associated with modern professional sports and Peter Dante sings the hits! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Here we are, the boys are in stride in this episode.
That's how I look at it.
Hot off of listening to episode 35 myself, the episode which awaits you in mere seconds.
I like it. It's nice.
Two dudes who have figured out what they're doing.
They know that it doesn't mean the earth, but they're having fun doing it.
This is us at, i guess doing the math
really quickly what like the 60 to 70 completion mark i feel like there is an energy that the end
is somewhat in sight um we're a little bit excited i think because this is when we started getting a
few listeners coming in from the states and our numbers were going pretty good. So it's just the boys are in a good place in this ep.
The guys are doing well.
The movie remains the same.
There's a lot of treats in this episode,
and I would invite you to listen to the very end
because there's a pretty great treat right in the final bit.
It's very funny to hear us talking about Paddy Schwartz as well
as these episodes tick by.
One day, God willing, we will have that beer with him.
But I think now his star is on the rise so much
that I think he might exit any possible stratosphere
that we could hope to to catch him you know approaching
our realm i think maybe that possibility has uh has disappeared but that's all right we don't
fucking need him we've got him tattooed on our bodies he's with us wherever we go until we die
anyway enjoy this episode it's fun it it's nice, it's a good one Goodbye Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, that one what was that one i couldn't tell you uh no i can't remember it hello and welcome to
the worst idea of all time episode number 35 slightly unorthodox introduction for what was
a very orthodox watch of the movie just tim and i middle of the day lounging about uh i'm in shorts
just swatting around you look good i said that as soon as i opened the door and you were yeah and
your beard is coming along nicely thanks and i think we should address this right at the top tim and i
were just talking about it what we would love to see from you oh yeah there's more selfies of
wherever you're listening to the podcast hard out we find it really interesting to know that people
are like listening to this while they go about their lives it blows our mind that anyone's
listening at all to be honest there's a a friend of one of my flatmates came in and she listens to
the podcast completely
independently of knowing him he'd never put her onto it she just listens it's even more amazing
that there are people in america who who listen to this i love the fact that a guy posted we have
on the on the on the facebook page saying i'm starting to think in a kiwi accent because he's
been listening to the podcast so much oh shit i love that that must be confusing we don't pop up
enough uh content for that to happen, though.
Maybe we need to do a podcast every day.
Start cranking it.
Every day, mate.
I'm in such a good mood right now.
I could watch this movie.
No, I'm not going to say anything stupid,
but I could watch this movie another 15 times or whatever.
What, today?
No, just in general.
I have been thinking that for one of them
we could do like a charity drive
where we lock ourselves
into a room for 48
hours and the movie
is just on repeat
so we can do
other things
no we're in a
room
just us
no technology
so it's on
yeah
no technology
so it's
actually you know
it would be funny
if it was a bathroom
you're coming back
round to my idea
for the bathtub
special two grown men in a lukewarm bath on a stage watching grown ups too a bathroom you're coming back around to my idea for the bathtub special
two grown men
in a lukewarm bath
on a stage
watching grown ups 2
this is a way more
nightmarish version of it
by the way
if this is the first
episode that you've
come in for some reason
this is a podcast
in which myself
and Guy Montgomery
I'm Tim Batt
I'm Guy Montgomery
we watch the movie
grown ups 2
once a week
every week
for a whole year
and we kind of review it afterwards is this episode 35 or 36 35 Guy Montgomery we watch the movie Grown Ups 2 once a week every week for a whole year
and we kind of
review it afterwards
is this episode
35 or 36
35
you sure
no
I'm really not
it's not important
pretty sure
what is time
time is but a
construct of man
exactly
and one that I am
fast losing my grip on
absolutely
so
I mean
it was just like
it was just
it was just
but imagine that
Imagine if we did it for 48 hours
I don't want to imagine that
And we live streamed without sound
Just us
I saw this pop up this morning
A woman in China got dumped by her boyfriend
And spent the whole weekend in the KFC
No it was a whole week
She was just in the K fry
I mean we can't compete with that
I love that bro
She is a girl
That is amazing
After my own heart
And it had a file photo of her
And I hope it's her
Not just some like stock photo
They've got
Because it was like
Yup that's what I expected
Sad woman in a KFC
That is a sad looking Asian
Like mid-twenties girl
In a K fry With her head down In a position that I've been in Many times in KFC Not It is a sad-looking Asian, like, mid-20s girl in a K-Fry with her head down,
in a position that I've been in many times in KFC, not for a week,
but when you just need to put your face against something cold
after you've just, like, dominated the family.
This is another thing we discussed recently.
I don't eat KFC at all.
Yeah, I find that terrifying.
Oh, come on.
Phone's off.
Sorry, it's a new phone.
I don't know how to work it.
Anyway, look, Tim, we've been dibbling around at the top of this thing.
Let's crack into some content.
Okay.
Sorry, a little cough there.
How did you enjoy the movie?
I enjoyed it okay today,
and that's largely due to the fact
that we've accidentally kind of missed.
I think it's been about 10 days instead of a week,
so apologies for that.
That is refreshing, though.
As a podcaster and a viewer,
that is a refreshing change to come in with fresh eyes, you know?
All it takes is a couple of days more than the usual,
and suddenly you're...
Then you run into the...
This is the high, and then the low is the turnaround this time.
It's like it's a short week, you know?
We took notes this time,
and I think we should dive into them.
The first is that you
visited peter dante's website yesterday which i haven't i've been snooping around peter dante's
twitter for a while now he's a good cat it never occurred to me i can't remember the name of the
site it's something weird he's a good cat uh he retweets all this sort of like he alternates
between like retweeting buddhist proverbs and just heaps of shit about weed. Cool. And I went to his website and like,
it's,
it's a,
it's a sight to behold,
man.
He's got all these old sketches.
I watched his old sketchy with Nick Swanson called the Fowler.
But I think what got me most excited was he's released an album of music,
which is available on iTunes.
And then also as an add on,
he's released like six covers as free downloads on his site.
So I downloaded Peter Dante
singing Bob Marley's Redemption song
and was just marching around the house
folding up my laundry yesterday.
While Peter Dante's just going
fucking bananas in the background.
That's so good.
Yeah.
How is he as a singer?
How's his voice?
Oh, he's like just...
He's alright?
He's okay.
He's just like a dude singing
shit but it's pretty amazing because i mean we were talking we want to go to la for the final
episode and we'd love to secure some sort of name value from the movie yeah i mean i reckon peter
dante is our best bet he is he's he's but the thing is i feel like he's such a positive guy
and he's so into his buddhism by the looks of things yeah that he might look at our project
as maybe a touch mean-spirited.
Although it's not mean-spirited.
It's more experimental.
It's like I've often been worried about that,
about this whole podcast thing.
The angle?
Kind of.
You think we're going to be blacklisted from Hollywood?
No, no, no, no.
You're not going to be allowed to be a walk-on extra
in a Happy Madison production?
I don't really, I don't much care about that.
But just the fact that it is kind of a slightly negative thing
That's always been in the back of my mind
The thing is, if you hold anything up to this level of scrutiny
It doesn't matter what you'd watch
If someone came and watched you do stand-up comedy 52 times in a row
Just as a point of interest
And did a podcast deconstructing it every time
That's different different isn't it
because I mean
it was just different
because this thing doesn't change
yeah
but it
I was actually getting angry
at some of the characters today
how so
well like when
Selma Hayek
was like
did you
is this a present or something
oh I didn't understand
yeah and I was like
it wasn't a present
the last 34 times
he brought it to you
why the fuck would it be a present the 35th i got mad at um the party scene when kyle the um
squat robux instructor vomits after nick hooks up with a dog and it's like why am i getting mad
because it's in the movie and the movie doesn't change like me getting mad at it doesn't change
and there's there's quite a Buddhist lesson there, actually,
which is like, oh, what's that great Christian proverb?
God give me the strength to accept the things I cannot change.
No, fuck, what is it?
It's like just God.
And the last one is in the wisdom to know the difference.
But it's like basically.
But I forget what's in the middle.
Change the shit.
Forget the actual meaning. I can't remember the wording. So it's like change the forget what's in the middle change the shit i can't remember the wording so it's like change the shit you can let go of the
shit you can't and um hopefully you're smart enough to figure out the difference between the
two i see it's a good vibe but i haven't clearly brought that onto heart because i keep getting
pissed off at kyle vomiting and you don't even know the like passage or proverb that you're referencing well that too but I understand
the spirit of it
mmm
um
what else is on the notepad there
there was a weird sound
if it sounded like I was pissing
I was just drinking water
from a really big glass
very unprofessional
you wouldn't catch me doing that
although we've both got
little tickles in our throat
so sorry about that
yeah
niggly wee tickles
what's on the um
oh Keith switches position
on bus
continuity
oh
this is a kind of boring continuity error,
but I did spot another continuity error
in relation to Keithy on the bus.
But this boils into something cooler.
The fantasy world?
Yes.
So if you watch it...
The fantasy world?
There's a bit...
There's a shot where Keithy's on the right side of the bus,
and then when it goes back to the shot
he's sitting on the left
and it's weird because
there's only one left
on the bus
we've talked about it
we were talking about this
yeah where he's
you know this stuff
Keithy's still on the bus
when they get to school
obviously
we're assuming that
it was a deleted scene
they shot
exactly
we think something got cut
but so now
what
I don't know if I
nah I do reckon it
fuck it I'm going with it
is that Keithithy stays
on the bus and hides under one of the seats and witnesses the murder of nick swanson or the
attempted murder of him watches the the grown-ups just mucking around for a day and thinks to
himself these are not good people yeah and one of them's his dad so like and it's all his best
friends so it's pretty scary but I reckon
Keithy stays on the bus
as they go for their joyride
I quite like that
I mean
there were a few
we were trying to create
a few alternate realities
for the film
the other one was
the first line
Adam Sandler tells
he tells Salma Hayek
to open the window
there's a deer in the house
I don't quite know why
he thinks it's going to
solve the problem
he's like
honey
your mother's visiting
from Mexico
I need you to go and open the window so what if Salma Hayek gets up opens the problem and he's like honey your mother is visiting from Mexico I need you to go
and open the window
so what if
Summerhike gets up
opens the window
and the deer just runs
straight through the bedroom
and that would be the ideal
like that would be the best
I guess that's what
he's going for
jumps out of the window
and breaks both of its
front legs on the lawn
and then the whole movie
is just Adam Sandler
and his family
dealing with this
really fucked up deer
which is still alive but presumably like immobile and in a lot of pain do you know what the Adam Sandler and his family Dealing with this Really fucked up deer Which is still alive
But presumably
Like immobile
And in a lot of pain
Do you know what that
Adam Sandler movie
Would be called?
What?
My Dear Wife
And he has to marry
Yeah
He falls in love
With the deer or something
And he has to marry the deer
Yeah because he like
Nurses it back to health
Eventually
And like
Plastic casts it
But honestly
Dealing with a full grown
Adult deer
This thing is enormous.
Dealing with that with broken limbs at the front of your yawn
in suburban Connecticut would be a fucking trip, dude.
That would be too real, bro.
Imagine you see it jump out and you're like,
oh my God, thank God the deer's gone out of the room.
You hear the crack, you hear the deer's like crying pain,
you're like, oh shit.
And you run downstairs, you're confronted by the image of a full grown
A majestic beast here on God's green earth
Just like wincing and screaming
And it would go for so long
It would be flapping its front body
But its legs are broken
Because it wouldn't bleed out
It wouldn't necessarily have any like lacerations
You know that would lead to arteries
Bleeding arteries So it would just be there busted up And because it's so big Just the whole family lacerations and I mean you know that would lead to arteries bleeding out
so it would just be
they're busted up
and because it's so big
can you imagine
how traumatic
that would be
for the kids
or his daughter
Becky
my god Becky
you need to see
a therapist after that
for years
you never trust
your father again
probably like
relationship issues
after that
well I mean
what could have been
really isn't it
that's the situation
we've walked into there
it'd be an interesting interesting fucking movie and probably one that i prefer hey there's one
thing that we've like talked about a lot you and just you and i guide while the movies and this
happens a lot we talk about something while the movie's playing but then we kind of forget to get
to it in the podcast and for about 10 weeks now we've've noticed that Laminsof claims a victory, which he does not earn.
Oh, yes, of course.
So in the fictional TV show within the movie,
which is the soap opera that Eric watches.
No, it is actually Days of Our Lives.
They got the naming rights to Days of Our Lives.
Oh, okay.
But it's the actual actors, obviously,
because it's Chris Berman, a sportscaster for ESPN.
Go you Broncos.
Go Broncos.
And in it...
I got Demarius Thomas on my fantasy team.
He's bloody blitzing it, mate.
He pulled in two touchdowns the last two games.
He is single-handedly dragging me back into playoff contention.
See, this is why we've got such a big American audience.
You're following the NFL.
You're such a big fan of lacrosse.
We'll get to that.
We've got so much to talk about.
Calm down.
Anyway.
Ball of energy.
In the movie, Eric laminsoff uh we
introduced to him i think the first sequence we see of him is with his mum he's just exiting and
she says are you going to watch those are you going to come back and watch days of our lives
later on he said of course we have to find out what which twin murdered ronaldo yeah and then
he goes back to the house yeah and we see a snippet from days of alliance he's watching it
with his mother and uh r and Ronaldo walks into the room
and the nurses say
it couldn't be
we killed you
and he goes
do you honestly think
two amateurish nitwits
could kill the great
Ronaldo
and then Kevin James says
I told you so
no I called it
he says I called it
come on Tim
you gotta learn
these lines mate
no
she says that
he says I told you so
you did you called it
oh god
you called me
yeah I did.
Anyway, but that's not what he called it all.
It isn't.
He clearly thought that one of the twins had murdered Ronaldo.
And Ronaldo was dead.
Unless at some point in his action-packed morning between joyriding on the bus and going to Kmart,
he called his mum and he'd come up with a theory.
He'd been ruminating on it.
Fuck, that's intense.
And he said, Mum, I don't think Ronaldo got murdered.
I think the twins conspired to try and kill him,
but he evaded death somehow.
And he's doing a lot of stuff.
And he'll re-emerge in this episode.
And there was even a deleted scene
that takes up even more time
of him buying a frozen pretzel
when his inn came out,
which is actually kind of a funny scene.
I thought it was funny.
No, but the thing is,
I think with the deleted scenes
is that we watched them
and they were a breath of fresh air
from the stale meal that we're getting served up week after week.
I'm just going to whack my shining light in right now.
You do it.
You ready for it?
It's Stone Cold Steve Austin portraying Tommy Kavanagh, our antagonist to the film's star, Adam Sandler.
If you could call any of the characters an antagonist.
Taylor Lawton is an antagonist.
Yeah, he is.
But yeah, so is Kavanagh.
I wonder if there's like a relationship between them two.
Anywho, my shining light is simply
Stone Cold Steve Austin saying the words sack of potatoes.
Sack of potatoes, yeah.
What does he say?
You like, you land me one on the chin,
I'll go down like a sack of potatoes.
I'll go down like a sack of potatoes.
A southern drawl.
Oh man,
actually he's Texan, eh?
Yeah.
His Texas accent is so good
when he says sack of potatoes.
It's so awesome.
I fucking love it.
You do.
Have you got a shining light this week, Guy?
I was just trying to think of one.
I know I came up with one during the film,
but it's completely evaded me since.
We can come back to it.
I did enjoy,
from memory, I did enjoy from memory
I did really enjoy
I think I've said it before
when they're at the quarry
on the clifftop
and they're doing
the smack talk
like it's Taylor Lawton
and his crew
versus Adam Sandler's crew
and David Spade
does an insult
and then he turns to them
and he goes
waggles his tongue
inside his mouth
and he's like
doing his little jazz fingers
I thought that was
pretty funny
nice little ad-lib
from David Spade
which is funny
because that ad-lib from David Spade is Which is funny because that ad-lib from David Spade
is really similar to the bus driver one from Adam Sandler.
But Sandler's one we detest for its laziness.
So are we really double standardising...
It's possible.
The boys, the lads.
Adam Sandler doesn't make a noise
and it's also the focal point of the shot.
David Spade's is an Easter egg that he's tucked in there.
That's true.
That's true that's
true um this brings me to an interesting point because for about the last dozen watches or so
i've experienced this weird thing with the movie now where i physically can't pay attention to
what's in focus told me about this and i can only look at the background now so like extras or set
there's a lot to see whatever and um i don't really have any anything
to extrapolate on that but it's just an interesting phenomenon that if you watch a movie enough times
and i assume this is probably the same if you study a great piece of art for long enough
you actually can't draw your eye to what's in focus anymore you just you you're always so
attracted by trying to find a new element well i don't think you're trying to find a new element. Well, I don't think you're attracted to find a new element.
I think it's pure escapism, plain and simple.
I think you're just trying to somehow climb through the action of the movie
and into another world in which maybe you're following different characters.
And this is why we've been speculating all morning.
I've got such a terrible attention span.
It's probably some sort of like neurological survival mechanism for me.
It's amazing what the mind does
when you put it under pressure.
The mind is amazing, isn't it?
Like the brain will always
try and look out for its best interest.
It's not always the best at doing it.
That's the thing.
I was having a discussion with someone recently
about adrenaline.
And when,
you know when you're in a sort of a,
you get on stage as well sometimes
when you're in a moment, like a do or die moment and you have to act very quickly yeah and you feel like time
slows down you have that sort of feeling of like suddenly everything and you see in clear focus
yeah that's not your brain moving quicker that's your brain shutting down like every
unnecessary extra bit that you're concerned with so like that's your brain literally just limiting
your capacity to think to specifically that one thing that's confronting you in that moment that
is awesome i'm living with two doctors at the moment so i'm learning a lot about like the
different parts of the brain like the reptilian brain and how that fucking does i can imagine
that shit would be sending you spinning in circles. Oh, I love it. I love it. Okay, look, back to the podcast. I guess.
It's time for Paddy Schwartz Party Time.
It's Paddy Schwartz Party Time.
It's Party Time with Paddy Schwartz.
Now, Patrick Schwarzenegger does something very funny in the movie today.
I assume he's been doing it in the rest of the movies.
Not all the movies he's been in.
I'm confident.
He's another guy who I've actually been
sniffing around
Paddy Schwartz
on Twitter.
I even chucked him
a retweet the other day.
Just trying to raise
some awareness
with Paddy Schwartz.
Imagine if we sat down
and watched a movie
with Paddy Schwartz, man.
Fuck.
He's another guy.
Now, he's a Christian guy.
So he's another guy
who I think might look
at this as being
a mean-spirited project.
I'd say so.
It wouldn't surprise me
if Arnie was a Christian.
He's quite a prominent figure in Republican politics, Arnie,
so it works.
It would go hand in hand.
Yeah.
Anyway, so...
Wait a minute.
Is he?
Or is he a Democrat?
Maria Shriver was in the Kennedys.
Nah, he must be a Democrat.
What am I talking about?
Fuck, I'm going to Google that later.
Oh, God.
It's going to be an exciting afternoon in the world of Timbuktu.
Patrick Schwarzenegger cocks an eyebrow in one of the scenes.
And I believe the reason he did it, because it's not really in place. afternoon in the world of Timbatt. Patrick Schwarzenegger cocks an eyebrow in one of the scenes.
And I believe the reason he did it,
because it's not really in place. There's no place for him to cock an eyebrow. It's just because when he
applied for the job, and don't get this twisted,
he took his CV in and applied for
the job. Underneath the
heading, acting skills, one
of them said, can raise eyebrow
on demand. And now the director,
there was no call for this movement
while shooting but patrick schwarzenegger thought look i got hired for this job not on my name but
on the back of my fully sick acting cv and i'll be damned if i'm not going to squeeze every single
skill i have into this film and accordingly he cocked his eyebrow and that is how Paddy Schwartz parties Good on you guy I like that reading of his personality
Because he still strikes me as a guy
Who is trying really hard
And they're my favourite people
People who aren't necessarily the most talented
But they're fucking hard workers
Yeah you've got to respect a hard worker
When I was younger I always thought
For me it took a while
I was always quite lazy because i
was naturally like okay enough at things to just get by without actually really putting in the
effort and i always thought that eventually if you just do that good things will arrive
well if you try or if you if you just like it like it's just you know opportunity will fall
into your lap and i'd look at it that's terrible i know the universe has reinforced the worst
elements of your
white privilege
no no no
well this is the thing
I got a handle on it
because you're absolutely right
but then I was like
nothing was happening
and I was like
oh
you've got to try
all the time
and then like
it flicked a switch
and suddenly
when I used to look at people
who tried hard
I'd be like
you should try less hard
and we should hang out
I was like
oh you've got to try hard
at everything
little life lesson with Guy Montgomery I dig that, oh, you've got to try hard at everything.
A little life lesson with Guy Montgomery.
I dig that.
You've got to try hard.
Conan O'Brien said a good thing about it.
About trying hard. When he got booted off the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
Yeah.
It's like, work hard.
Or maybe it was a bloody graduation speech at Stanford or something.
Work hard, be kind to people, and amazing things will happen.
That's what Conan O'Brien says.
Did he in that speech have a bit about how
he talked about, like, be nice to people because
you never know who you'll end up working for or
who will be your boss? I think so. Was that?
It was insane. I think it was
a commencement speech because he did a big,
he just ratted off a shit ton of jokes and then just
flipped it at the end and was like, boom, and some
truth. Yeah, I remember being in one
of those, what are those hats called the graduation caps had the square boards the hat they've got a name the university
hat it's definitely got a name don't forget your university hat you're graduating today
um speaking of university lacrosse we've never really talked about this but the college kids
they show up to the.
They show up.
And actually in the car as well, one of them's carrying a lacrosse. What's the terminology for it?
A racket?
Yeah, I'd call it a stick.
Stick.
I mean, I don't know the proper terminology.
You do some damage in a fight with a lacrosse stick, by the way.
I don't know how they weren't using those more.
I mean, it was an all in all, an out and out fight.
We had an exchange student when i went to uh high school
in wellington who was from america and he kind of brought a bit of lacrosse in and so we we got
nets and shit with sticks or whatever they're called and we played a little bit but just like
i think we start off with tennis balls because if you use the full ball and you fuck up that shit
will hurt well it's a quite an a hard ball is it yeah I think so
it's kind of like
I think you use
a similar one
to like a field hockey
you know how
that is hard
yeah
it's plastic
but super hard
that seems insane
yeah but you gotta get distance
that's the thing
if it was any softer
it wouldn't have the weight
to carry it
it's a fully sick sport
it looks pretty cool
I've seen it on ESPN
they play it in college
and they broadcast the games
oh huge
I don't know why
it doesn't translate to a professional sport.
Because it's ruthless, bro.
You're running around and it's highly skilled.
You're running around with a stick and this ball just fucking throwing and catching and just clearing dudes out.
I think it's real massive in certain circles.
But I think it's got the stigma of being associated with real rich white college boys.
Is it like a collegiate sport yeah very much so which
is which strangely is how rugby is treated in england because here in new zealand we
it's like everyone's sport it's very it's everyone's yeah yeah and in rugby rugby sure
is popular here in new zealand we do love it no one else loves rugby bro just us no no one
no one else loves it like us south africa might i haven't been
no they love they love rugby don't get it like they sell out alice park when the spring box
that's true actually they do love rugby but like australians australians it's about number four or
five england it'll be about four america it doesn't even america although we're going to
all blacks are playing a game in chicago and i watched the like trailer video for it fuck americans ramp up sports to a million like it's they put in just
these insane like movie and television production values to the matchups like eagles all blacks and
like fucking a shot of the skyline and bloody batman driving his motorbike or something there's
no wonder their whole country's add they've just got so much like production everywhere
for everything.
Everything is highly produced.
That's why I'm going to move there.
You notice it bleeding
into sports coverage
in Australia and New Zealand
as well.
Oh yeah.
Because like all the build up,
all the hype,
the pomp and ceremony
around sports games
is just getting out of hand.
Nah, I'm into it man.
It's bigger than the game.
But.
Should have been a rambling podcast.
It's good to have one of those every
now and then we've covered a lot of ground yeah it's been a real change of pace i think
oh yeah fun fact i don't know if this is true i'm pretty sure it's true um i think america
still holds the own the like the most recent rugby uh olympic championship that i stood it in like
very early 1900s 1930 or some shit
No way
And then they never did it again
No way the All Blacks
Would have lost back then
I will look it up right now
No don't look it up
It's not interesting enough
No we've got to round this out
We've got to do the
Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour
Oh
The Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour
Is coming to take you away
Coming to take you away
Take you away Take you away Do you want it or do i want i haven't
come up with one but i'm happy to fuck i haven't either actually to be honest okay so the steve
buscemi mystery tour is the segment of the movie in which we explore what injury could have possibly
caused the symptoms described by steve buscemi or wiley in grown-ups 2 the facts we are given is he
only has 40 feeling his body and his arms have been
in the touchdown position
for two years.
I think what happened
is Steve Buscemi
was riding
a penny farthing
which is one of those
silly old bicycles
with the big front wheel
and the little back wheel
which is
that's one of my favourite
parts of Jackass
is I think Ryan Dunn's like
who designed this bike?
It is so true.
Who the fuck designed a penny farthing
and got it across the line?
It is insane.
Do you see how high they are?
Like, just make a bike with fucking
two of the same size wheels, bro.
It's easy.
Is it something to do with, like, the cogs and things?
Like, the amount of workload and the physics
and stuff that's going on
to do with the fact that one wheel is big and one's little.
You might be right.
But I mean, it just seems like...
Well, there's no new thing in a regular bike though, right?
No, I just do not see how someone didn't look at that
and go, you need to make that front wheel smaller
and that back wheel bigger and it'll be perfect.
Anyway, so Steve Buscemi was showing off
to Chris Rock and the gang on his penny farthing
riding it round
and Adam Sandler
was probably going
what is ridiculous
he's probably having
the exact same conversation
we just had
and then Chris Rock goes
hey watch this
and he picks up a stick
and he runs across
and he puts the stick
into the spokes
of the front tyre
and Steve Buscemi
goes tumbling over
the handlebars
and lands
with his arms and that explains the arms above thebars and lands with his arms, and that explains
the arms above the head, he lands with his arms above
his head because he's flailing, because we all know
they're bad jumpers from the quarry
and I guess that's how it happened
A penny farthing
A penny farthing accident
Classic, reeks of sandal
Do you want to elaborate
onto why Wiley was on a penny farthing
in the first place at all?
Because he left
after high school.
He used to get bullied by them
but after high school
he left and joined the circus.
So he picked up
a lot of circus skills.
He worked too.
And now whenever he sees them
he wants to show off
he wanted to show off
his circus skills.
He's got the look of a carny
especially in this film.
I was six years off
but otherwise correct.
It was 1924
when the last
Summer Olympics
that the Rugby Union was in.
Doesn't say.
Oh, it does, but I'm not looking it up again.
But the US won gold, and it's never been there again.
Have we covered all of our segments?
Yeah, man.
We've got the shining lights,
the Patty Schwartz party time,
the Steve Buscemi mystery tour.
Again, I want to impress upon everyone
the opportunity, importance, and our love
for you sending in a little selfie
of yourself listening to the podcast.
Just because I'm bored, man.
I want to see your pretty faces.
I'm just curious about where and when people...
People might be doing this
when they're going grocery shopping.
Yeah.
I mean...
If you can't be bothered liking our Facebook...
Do you think anyone's ever made love
to the dulcet sound of the worst idea of all time?
That's something Matt used to say all the time.
He said,
uh,
Matt,
who I used to produce for on a radio show the last couple of years,
he was like,
he would always say,
uh,
it'd be like good afternoon.
Um,
wherever you're listening.
Um,
if you're making love to the partner of your choice,
that's so good.
I really hope that someone has had sex.
That's more likely
because you have the radio
on in the background
or you could have this on
in the background
and someone
if you have had sex
while listening to the podcast
give us a yell
but we don't need a photo
of that
we don't need a photo of that
in fact I'm going to go so far
as to say
don't send us a photo of that
no selfies of that
because that's not the
that's not the angle
we're taking with this
it's more out of curiosity, really.
It is vanity, isn't it?
Yeah.
I guess the whole thing's a vanity project.
Sure is.
And it's over for this episode, so thanks for joining us.
And if you can't be bothered going to the Facebook page to post your photo up,
just flick it onto Twitter.
He's guy underscore mont, so G-U-Y underscore M-O-N-T,
and I'm Tim underscore bat.
Shit, mate, you're clogged up.
I sound terrible, eh?
Yeah, you sound real nasal.
Right.
Time to bail.
Au revoir.
Au revoir. Minutes after they took I From that bottomless pit
But my hand was made strong
By the hands of the almighty
Move forward in this generation
Triumphantly Oh, won't you help to sing This generation triumphantly.
Oh, won't you help to sing?
Are these songs of freedom?
Cause they're all I ever had.
Redemption song.
Redemption song.