The Worst Idea Of All Time - Replay S01E38: Mea Culpa
Episode Date: March 22, 2024Please enjoy this victory lap of Season One episodes as we celebrate 10 years of The Worst Idea of All Time. New episodes posting on our Substack.Original Description:Guy's back and more awake than ev...er. He didn't go to sleep for the whole movie this time! And he's bringing the Paddy Shwartz noise! Facts on where Paddy works out, where Paddy eats and more! Plus the age old question: Would you eat a placenta? The boys also fondly remember Sandler's hit comedy song 'Piece of Shit Car' and a bygone era of Napster and Limewire. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Well, I've found it.
At least on public record, our discovery of Blaze Pizza.
Paddy Schwartz, he gets a big old song, he gets a big old look in.
Miley Cyrus not mentioned by name, but certainly to my ears,
listening back to this episode, the main thing I'm thinking about
is sort of the level of,
I don't know if you could quite call it snooping,
but investment I took in Patrick Schwarzenegger at this time.
So this was an exciting episode.
I checked it back in on Blaze Pizza.
They've got, I think, about 200,000 followers on Instagram.
They recently did something called Pie Day,
where they keep doing the mathematical symbol for pie on their pizza pies, I guess,
and a lot of really bad pizza memes.
I'd love to get back there.
This is an upbeat episode, a positive episode.
We've got our work done in the morning, and I mentioned living,
you know, I knew this was the case through a lot of the season, but I mentioned having
mushrooms for breakfast that my friend and flatmate at the time, Maxie, made me, and
man, we eat those mushrooms every morning. You know?
Life can be a funny thing like that.
It's just, this is nice.
Down the line.
Guys at work.
Doing their podcast.
I get the sense I might have slept through a lot of the previous episode.
Because this is a mere culpa.
I mean, look, we talk about if Adam Sandler found the podcast or if we got successful, if he would lay claim to our success,
which I think is still a valid question, whether he'd not like us.
Well, I don't think we're disparaging towards the movie.
I don't think we're disparaging towards the Sandman himself.
Anyhow, I'm rambling.
Enjoy.
That is good news, Guy.
That is such good news.
We have knocked off the film and it's not even midday.
That's right.
That's how you get things done, everybody.
Efficient.
Get up around nine o'clock.
All right. I hope that your flatmates cooked you some mushrooms, maybe,
which is what was fortunate enough to happen to me this morning.
Awesome.
Was it Maxie?
Yeah, yeah.
What a dude.
And then you roll around to Tim's house and you watch Grown Ups 2
between the hours of 10 a.m. and 12 p.m.
Number 38.
Number 38.
Number 38.
We're real proud of ourselves.
I'm actually feeling pretty good right now.
I'm feeling awesome.
Well, like sad because I just watched the movie again.
No, but I felt sad watching the movie,
but then when it was over
And I looked at my phone
It was only 11.50 something
I was like
Whoa
There's a whole day ahead of us
A whole big day
It's going to be a
It's going to be a
Rose tinted podcast
If there's one thing
That this podcast
Has taught me
Ironically it is
To live every moment
And love every day
Because every moment
That I'm not watching
Grown ups too
Is like a gift
I don't think
that's ironic i think that message is hammered home by the movie relentlessly yeah but you want
to look at a township town full of people who are living every moment and loving every day
just really grabbing things by the scruff of the neck and doing whatever the fuck they want
whenever the fuck they want it's ironic about standing connecticut it's ironic it's ironic
because it's a story so badly told
and messages so ham-fistedly shoved down your throat,
but they've accidentally tripped over a real good song at the end,
which seems to like diss their own movie,
but is actually legitimately a great life message,
which is to love every moment and live every day
and stop seeing Adam Sandler movies before your life goes away.
Actually, speaking of REO Speedwagon,
for those of you who aren't as so well
familiar with the podcast
we've just finished
watching Grown Ups 2
for the 38th time
There's a hair
on the microphone
I don't know why
I had to pick it up
but it was bugging me
Sorry
We've just watched
the movie for the 38th time
and the closing credit song
is REO Speedwagon's
Live Every Moment
and
Live Every Moment and a while ago
one of our listeners suggested that we listen to a live album by ario speedwagon oh yeah um oh yeah
and i actually i've said i was gonna do it and i didn't do it and he was saying it's one of the
best live like best live music albums if you're into that genre of music or even if you're not i
guess i i like a bit of um like would you call it classic rock i don't know if you were into that genre of music, or even if you're not, I guess. I like a bit of, like,
would you call it classic rock?
I don't know if you were with REO Speedwagon.
It's a bit softer.
But yeah, I listened to that live album.
It was fucking dope.
There you go.
So shout out to REO Speedwagon.
Yeah.
Was it REO Speedwagon, the album that he recommended?
Yeah, it had to be,
because we would have been talking about REO Speedwagon.
That's weird.
I thought it was... Yeah, no, that makes sense. It was a long about REO Speedwagon. That's weird. I thought it was.
Yeah, no, that makes sense.
It was a long time.
It was like weeks and weeks ago.
And I listened to it at the time and I remember it was dope.
Yeah.
But unfortunately, I don't remember enough to even be 100% sure that it was REO Speedwagon I was listening to.
Sounds like it really impacted you, bro. At any rate, Guy, so much to talk about in the episode this week
on our 38th watching of Grown Ups 2,
a movie which was described by Peter Dante,
and I'm paraphrasing a little bit,
as a movie where he and Shaq play cops in Adam Sandler's hometown
and Adam Sandler comes back home and sees his friends
and they hang out together.
They have a day together.
That's more or less what he says.
He's on point.
Gotta love Peter Dante.
I gotta say,
there was a lot of mood changes
and sort of gear shifts for me personally
during the movie today. Run me through emotional gamut uh that you experienced early on definitely
feeling the absurdity some weeks you feel it some weeks you don't but definitely feeling the fact
that i'm watching this movie again yeah that was very present in my mind which sort of i mean it
it changes what you're watching you had a good point early on as well about once you've seen
something this many times it changes like you're watching for takes like you're yeah you
sort of see through the kind of facade of what they've put in front of you which is a fully
produced movie and you start like seeing the matrix code yeah like you're sort of you imagine
that you can see around the edges of the screen where there's all of the crew and stuff getting the job done.
That is a beautiful articulation of the feeling.
It's like I feel like I can sense the lighting guy
who's just had a shot and the boom operator
who's holding that boom just above where we can see
and Dennis Dugan just on his cell phone
while the take is in progress.
I'd say Dennis Dugan probably smashing cocaine,
dressed up like George Michael in his trailer,
just watching it from a monitor,
yelling instructions through a walkie-talkie.
He's not George Michael.
No, he's Billy Idol in this,
but he's George Michael when he changes his costume every day.
Love it.
Dennis Dugan turns up on set every day.
Dressed as a different 80s pop or rock musician
I would love to see Dennis Dugan as Cindy Lauper
that would be wicked
that would be good
so you say Cindy
Cindy
Cindy Lauper
so yeah I mean it was an interesting watch I suppose
we had some interesting theories and conversations come up during the film
we both saw some stuff theories and conversations come up during the film i mean
we both saw some stuff we hadn't seen before definitely um so there was a bunch of stuff
that you seem to notice for the first time today which was i find i find it fascinating that either
one of us can still find new ground i guess it's that sort of commentary on you know how you fall
into patterns and like you watch it and i thought i heard a line is that for like the first two
viewings and then never bothered to never bothered to listen closely enough to the line is correct myself
so uh chris rock's son is kurt kurt mckenzie whose phone's going on mine oh it's rory
oh i can't take that in the middle of the podcast can i or can i mean i wouldn't even
really bring it up who Who's Rory?
Oh, dude, Rory's the man.
What's his deal?
He's a great guy.
He better be pretty fucking cool to be calling up during the podcast.
Well, he lives in Sydney, so it's always exciting when I get a call from him
because he's either fucking drunk or super hungover,
but either way, I get a good story out of it.
Rory sounds like he's got a drinking problem, man.
He's all good.
Rory's all good.
He's a good man.
Anyway, where was I?
Oh, yeah.
So that particular one
that you heard for the first time
was, yeah, Kurt.
Never said once in the movie.
That's Rock's first name.
His son is getting a driving test,
pulls up to the lights
where it's red.
The frat boys come
and they say,
because they think
he's one of their compatriots at the frat
uh uh scully scully yeah yeah wait scully is that you scully is that you are you taking your
driver's test drunk and then he says yeah i'm mc hammered but i thought he said i'm absolutely
yeah man i'm absolutely hammered.
38 times before.
Oh, and you didn't even hear it.
I said it.
And you were like, what?
I said it out loud.
It's just because I genuinely,
why would I bother listening to that in detail now?
I would just think for one of the times in the 38 viewings,
you would have just heard it somewhere.
Yeah, you're probably right.
And another one is the free back rub that you noticed.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So, because Leanne, played by...
Deanne.
Deanne, sorry, played by Mia Rudolph,
forgets her wedding anniversary
where Chris Rock buys her a necklace
and puts it in her son's poo-infested nappy.
It's not actually poo-infested.
But it could be, you know?
Yeah, there's always a risk.
You put something down, you put a necklace down,
any underpants, there's a risk of some poo getting on the necklace.
And no more riskier prospect is there
than putting it in a toddler's underwear.
It was a bold anniversary day strategy or anniversary gift.
Like, I don't think I would if i don't know say
you splashed out 300 on that necklace it looks like a pretty nice necklace yeah man you're gonna
go risk tainting that gift i guess what you're measuring up is whether or not the sort of
sweetness if you pull it off yeah outweighs how disgusting and disappointing it would be if it
goes wrong and the thing is is that kurt spun the roulette wheel and won. Like, that paid dividends for him.
Yeah, that was a really, really sweet and touching sort of...
He nailed it.
And she was genuinely caught off guard.
She was taking it back.
Yeah.
It was a lovely moment, actually.
I'm just thinking about right now,
for people who haven't watched the movie at all,
that we didn't really provide a lot of colouring for that situation,
so that would have
been really it's really confusing little tangent oh shit um before i go into the thing i was going
to go into alice one of our listeners has said that she hasn't watched the movie but she's
listened to all the podcasts and i can't remember the post exactly but she wants to basically paint
a picture of what she thinks the movie is oh yeah yeah, yeah. She wants to do it. She's going to draw out a timeline of the day,
of the action of the film,
which I'm really excited for.
It's such a good idea.
It's a really great idea.
It's a great idea.
So at some point,
Deanne's writing out,
when she's on the phone to her mother,
which is such a fucking odd,
like what the fuck, man?
I remember when we first figured out that that was her mum.
And we were like,
why? Why does it need to be her mum? Like, what the fuck man I remember when we first figured out That that was her mum And we were like Why?
Why does it need to be her mum?
Like what the fuck is going on?
It just You know it just adds texture
To everyone's characters
It made no sense
It makes Chris Rock
Probably a little more deplorable
If anything
For actively
Like holding out
On giving his mother-in-law cable
Oh yeah
For no other reason
Than his own amusement
It is purely that
He doesn't even need to be anywhere else.
He's just sitting in his fucking van.
Yeah.
I guess it's a pretty funny prank though.
So Deanne...
Maybe he teases her about it when she comes over for dinner.
He's like, did you get that cable?
And she's like, no.
And he's like...
Oops, sorry.
I don't know, just a thought.
Chris Rock's wife is writing out a free back rub voucher
to try and atone for her sins
of forgetting the wedding anniversary.
But the thing is, man,
a free back rub is not a necklace.
No, but it's a lovely thought.
She's doing her best.
And I'm just impressed by the fact
that the directors or writers
or whoever was in charge,
the art director, I guess,
with the mise-en-scene in the movie,
bothered to put that much detail into any, like, into... Because I haven't noticed that in the other story. And I was so satisfied that she was... that it tied in with another part of the mise-en-scene in the movie, bothered to put that much detail into any, like, into...
Because I haven't noticed that in the other story,
and I was so satisfied that she was,
that it tied in with another part of the movie.
I always figure with those bits that it was a way bigger scene,
and it just got cut down in editing.
So it's probably not like,
oh, and we'll have this for just a flash moment.
Yeah, apparently, I read on IMDb this week
that they shot over 500 hours of film for this movie.
I wonder how that stacks up against other films.
It's a lot.
500 hours.
But if everything has an average of how many takes?
Five average?
Because Adam Sandler does not do a lot of takes.
I made that up.
Everything I just said.
Yeah, I completely made that up.
I can't go too deep on this one.
I made it all up.
500 hours seems long and i don't
think they shot it on film no no so i mean there's a lot there's a lot of reasons i thought i've put
in enough red flags that you'd call bullshit right no no i didn't i went with you guy you've caught
me in a vulnerable trusting mood took me down the garden path um so yeah What else is... Patrick Schwartz. Patrick Schwartz. Patrick Schwartz. Patrick Schwartz. Patrick Schwartz. Patrick Schwartz. Patrick Schwartz. Patrick Schwartz. Patrick Schwartz. Patrick Schwartz. Patrick Schwartz. Patrick Schwartz. Patrick Schwartz. Patrick Schwartz. Patrick Schwartz.
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he's Paddy
it's Paddy Schwartz
okay
Patrick Schwarzenegger
party time
now we've both got one
this week
obviously it's been
a big week for Paddy
both in the world
of the film
and I believe
your one is
yeah
well he's what
I've noticed
is I follow Paddy
on Twitter
and he's made
some huge gains
give Paddy's
handle a shout out
mate
I'll just load it up here.
All right, bro.
But I've started sort of taking a vested interest in his life.
I'm like almost like a proud parent.
I mean, obviously, dating Wiley Cyrus has increased his sort of cultural collateral.
I feel like a proud parent in the sense that we sort of started a relationship with them before the greater public at large.
Yeah.
And it's sort of like watching your young boy grow up into a man
right in front of your eyes.
We feel like how Arnie must be feeling right now.
That's right.
And the other thing about that which I like is –
where are you?
There you are.
No, this is a fake account.
He's got fake accounts.
How many?
What? He's got he accounts. How many? What?
He's got heaps.
That's awesome.
The other thing I like about it is he's made some huge gains at the gym this week.
Big gains.
Why do you go to the gym?
You go for gains, folks.
That's right.
I'll just give a shout out to the gym.
It's on Venice.
Him and the lads have actually all put on a pretty good amount of muscle this week.
And the other one.
Oh, here we go.
Gold's Gym. Gold's gym on venice beach
if you want to head down there do some some patty schwartz spotting and the other one i got to give
a shout out to when you say spotting do you mean looking at him or like spotting him when he's
doing the weights and shit just whatever works imagine that if you spotted him from afar on the
at gold's and then you came up you're like pat, Paddy, Timbo, should I spot you?
He's like, yeah, jump in, fella.
Yeah, I could use someone to spot me, however he talks.
And I also want to give a big shout out to Blaze Pizza.
I don't know if Patrick Schwarzenegger has invested money or whatever into this pizza firm
or if they're just giving him a sweet Contra deal to do shout outs on Twitter,
but he's all over this place.
And looking at their Twitter page, can really see why. Blaze pizza
fresh dough, artisanal
ingredients, inventive to
classic, you decide. Blazing
oven and dedicated pizza smith
and 180 seconds
equals fast fired perfection.
180 seconds? So do they like flash
cook the pizza? They flash
they've got a blazing hot oven.
180 seconds is 3 minutes that is a quick
that's a microwave oven no no it's a real oven yeah i know there's my time copy is there's no
wrong way to play you've thrown a lot at me man blazes um a lot of shit going on big shout out
to big shout out to patty so how does that connect to patty schwartz i just think that maybe he's got a lot of shit going on. Big shout out to Paddy. So how does that connect to Paddy Schwartz?
I just think that maybe he's got stock in there.
No, but like, I mean, you were talking about Paddy Schwartz.
Has he been tweeting about it?
He keeps going to events or something at Blaze Pizza.
Oh, really?
All the events are catered by Blaze Pizza.
He's just always bloody going on about Blaze Pizza.
Well, we've left the first few breadcrumbs, folks.
You follow the path.
Let's dig out some IRS forms.
Yeah, well, if there are any diehard Patrick Schwarzenegger fans in Los Angeles,
we're just sort of providing you, if you want to do some celeb spotting,
maybe get a picture taken with them.
We're just giving you some handy hints.
You would have to say that Blaze Pizza is absolutely going after the stoner market, right?
Blaze Pizza.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's pretty out there it's
like there's a ben and jerry's flavor and um in canada it's probably in america too called half
baked cool and it's like half it's like cookie dough flavored ice cream but okay you can totally
see what they're trying to do when they put that in the in the ice cream aisle at the supermarket
i would say so i would say they say on those on those tubs of cookies that you're not supposed to eat it.
On what tubs?
Cookie dough.
Because in America,
you just like eat cookie dough.
Yeah, you can just buy cookie dough for eating.
You just eat it.
But it says on the tub,
don't eat this.
You gotta cook it.
Why is it?
No, I'm pretty sure in America,
you just buy rolls of cookie dough as cookie dough.
Yeah, yeah.
Without like...
No, no, you do.
But I think it's one of those things where it's like they have to put on the packet you know don't
eat it in this form you've got to cook it first that seems like a weird like particular rule to
make when that you can pretty much the one thing with america and eating is just you don't need
to tell anyone about now they've got i reckon it's a food safety thing maybe you've got to like
there's some toxins in there yeah you've got to cook them off
In your 180 second oven
I love eating cookies
Flash cook some Ben and Jerry's half baked you know
Anyway
I've just combined three things and they don't work
No not quite
Because the Ben and Jerry's is ice cream
What was your Paddy Schwartz party time Tim?
My one was a lot tamer mate
My one was in the world of the film
And my Paddy Schwartz was him uh when they're at the
quarry and there's a shot where the dude with the really deep voice he goes the baddie white
just called you crazy yeah so he's like guzzling a beer he's got his shirt off and paddy schwartz
is just punching him in the stomach rolling punch rolling punch like a like a punching bag
in a gym um but with love you you know, like a real friendly.
But also kind of menacing to the townies.
Yeah, kind of like eyes on you, fader.
And I like, I mean,
I think Paddy Schwartz and Paddy Times
compliment each other quite nicely this week
because obviously in the real world,
he does do some,
maybe some glove work down the gym.
Down at Gold's.
Quick shout out to Gold's on Venice Beach.
Check it out. Shout out. Do you know what I loved. Quick shout out to Gold's on Venice Beach. Check it out.
Shout out.
Do you know what I love?
When I'm on Venice Beach, guy,
do you know what I love doing after I hit Gold's?
What do you love?
Grab a slice of Blaze pizza, bro.
That's right.
They use fresh artisanal ingredients.
Original to inventive.
That's right.
It's your choice.
If you are in a hurry,
do not worry.
Do not fret.
Do not let your pants get wet
because these pizzas are cooked at 180 seconds in our blazing hot oven.
Damn, son.
That's only three minutes.
That's right.
If you've got a three-minute lunch break from your workout at Gold's on Venice.
Then start yelling your order as soon as you put the dumbbells down.
Just yell out what you want as you're running to them
and they'll get it in the oven and by the time you're there.
But don't eat it straight away because the cheese is hot
and it will burn the roof of your mouth.
And no one enjoys that.
They'll stick with you for so many days.
So now there's an...
You just made me write down the note, Kevin James table.
Kevin James table.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because in the movie, at the party scene, Kevin James...
Because I don't know if you know this.
I've been on IMDb this week
and I know that's lost credibility
because of what I did earlier.
But that was an ad lib.
So when he says,
don't ever say the party's over
and he jumps up on the table
and the table blows out,
that was not meant to happen.
That was...
Bullshit.
And he just ad libbed his way through
and then he goes,
that didn't happen. Bullshit. i'm just saying they were just rolling absolutely not bro it took a lot of film did you see how the table went down i don't know there was a planned explosion bro
there were planted explosives in the table no no tables don't they don't go down like that
i haven't really watched that many tables you've seen that table go down 38 times dude
Yeah I have
Oh you mean like a normal table
I don't know
Well just think about the physics of a normal table
If you saw a normal table go down
It would naturally have like a point where it's
Like one of the legs would go first
And then it would all fall to that direction first
It would be asymmetrical
It would be an asymmetrical fall.
On an ordinary table,
but maybe some tables have got weird...
No, it wouldn't blow out
in the perfect symmetrical four points at once.
It's just how the table was designed.
It went down into its own...
It's just how the table maker made the table.
It went down into its own footprint, man.
That doesn't happen with tables.
It's not how they...
Are you saying all this just to explain to me
that you don't think it was an ad-lib?
It absolutely was not an ad-lib.
It was planned.
Yeah, you're probably right.
You can see the squibs blowing out the table legs.
I don't even know what that means.
It's a little like a dust pocket you see
when an explosive goes off.
And you could see that on the table at the party scene.
I will show you next.
I will show you in episode 39.
You caught me in a lie, mate.
You can't keep saying I read this on IMDb because I already know you're lying.
I know you're lying right at the start of this.
You really came in hammer and tongs on that little fib.
Well, I didn't know why you made me write down keeping James stable.
Now I'm disappointed you did. You used me. I didn't know why you made me write down keeping james stable now i'm disappointed
you did you used me i didn't use you hey um what else we got i wrote down um sandler goes to town
on his free pass from tommy kevin art which is true because fuck adam sandler's character is
such a dick like lenny fighter gets given this get out of free jail card Get out of jail free jail
Well it's a free jail
So you can I guess leave whenever you want
The clues and the name
It's not really a prison
It's kind of misleading
It's oxymoronic
It's like that guy who just bailed
It's in New Zealand's maximum security prison
And they were letting him out by three days a week
And he just left and went to Chile That's fucking crazy but then he went to like
the world's worst prison and i think he instantly regrets the decision he made yeah bad times bro
real bad times um we're not usually a topical podcast no sorry it was so sandler gets in a
fight with stone cold steve austin completely of his own making and really unnecessary like It was So Sandler gets in a fight With Stone Cold Steve Austin
Completely of his own making
And really unnecessary
Like they're grown men
There's no need for it
It's just how things go down
In Stanton, Connecticut
Is that you settle your beefs
It's not
You settle your beefs
With fisticuffs
When you're Lenny Fader maybe
Quite literally the whole town
Is involved in a fight
Moments after
Yeah that's true actually
That's a good point
That's a good point monty so uh
the stuck old steve austin or tammy tommy cavanaugh goes just thwack me on the chin and i'll go down
like a sack of potatoes so he's going to do a hollywood he's going to take the fall for him
so he can look like the man in front of his son and the whole town yeah but it's like this
it's about looking like a big man in front of his son.
For Sandler, at his own personal embarrassment.
And so fucking Sandler takes this free pass and just... Milks it.
Milks it to the extreme.
Just is yelling in Stone Cold Steve Austin's face, chest beating.
Just an absolute moron about it.
Like, have a little fucking dignity, bro.
This guy has reached out an olive branch to you
and you've no but he's got it you've got it on fire he's got to sell it you know this is what
this is what lenny fader i'm just in characters lenny fader right now this thing he's like
okay stone cold's giving me a free pass but i gotta he's not calling him stone cold cavanaugh
gave me a free pass but i gotta sell it i can't you know like i i can't i can't do it in character
but he can't let the fact that he's,
he can't communicate the fact that he knows
he's going to get away with anything to the crowd.
I don't think that's his motivation there.
I don't think it's that he's selling the moment.
I think it's that he's being opportunistic and an arsehole.
Do you think that when he was acting that scene,
Adam Sandler thought about it as much as we just did
when we were talking to each other?
There's no question that he did not.
And where does that leave us?
Well, I guess more contemplative
about Adam Sandler's acting choices
than he is himself.
You know?
But quite specific acting choices.
He probably thinks more about
his general career direction
and like the movies he chooses,
not specific throwaway scenes.
The bummer about all this is, Monty,
and I'm talking broadly about the podcast in general now,
is that Adam Sandler literally got tens of millions of dollars
for the film and we have spent more time working with it.
Yeah.
And we get no money.
But we knew that from the outset.
I had a funny thought recently where it was like,
if, let's's say anything ever became
of either of us
or this podcast and then
Adam Sandler surely one day
if we got big enough that
someone put a question to Adam Sandler
and was like what do you think about
da da da and Adam Sandler could be like
I made those guys
yeah we'd be like
but he doesn't he'd be like yeah I fucking made those guys they would be nothing like But he doesn't He'd be like
Yeah I fucking made those guys
They would be nothing without me
He's never like
I haven't ever seen him like that
In his interviews though
He seems like a real nice guy
Yeah
In his interviews
Cause he could claim that
With a lot of people
Like Peter Dante
He probably made him
That's a big thing about him
Peter Dante's my bitch
He's always been a good guy
He always gets his boys on the films
Yeah man
And he doesn't gloat about it
In interviews He's not like I own these guys We actually gets his boys on the films. Yeah, man. And he doesn't gloat about it in interviews.
He's not like, I own these guys.
We actually also, during the movie, we sang one of his songs together.
Piece of shit car.
We got a piece of shit car.
A fucking pile of shit.
It never gets me very far.
Oh, fuck your car.
My car is a fucking piece of shit.
All the brakes are fucking shut. It's a piece of shit car. My car is a fucking piece of shit. All the brakes are fucking shut.
It's a piece of shit car.
He does it way better.
I can't remember the rest of the words.
I remember listening to that.
It's a real good song, man.
And it was a nice moment remembering.
That was, do you know, for that song is a real moment in time for me
because it was when I think LimeWire was real big
or maybe even Napster.
And I remember downloading it on Napster
or like a OG P2P music pirating shit.
Yeah, yeah.
That was a real like-
The first ships, bruh.
Counterstrike was big, you know.
I remember it.
It was the summer of 99. Counterstrike was big. You know, I remember it. It was the summer of 99.
Counter-strike was big.
Napster was on the internet and I was going to go on my first date with the prettiest girl in school.
Erica Barbowski.
That was your summer in 99.
Yeah,
man.
Barbowski really,
yeah,
really came into a run in that summer.
Yeah.
Really.
As an 11 yearyear-old.
Now, there's one part of the podcast
which we have failed to explore this week so far,
Guy Montgomery.
And we really should go exploring
on the Steve Buscemi
of Mystery Tour.
Roll up. Roll up for the Mystery Tour. to us roll up roll up
for the mystery tour
roll up
roll up
for the mystery tour
real sing songy podcast
it's ever since I bought these handheld
mics man we've just been getting into a real
karaoke vibe
okay now
you were going to take the helm on this one
because last week,
I really picked up the slack,
particularly on this segment
where I posited that Steve Buscemi
was a time traveler
who kicked his own ass
after seeing him fooling around
with his girlfriend.
That's a pretty good theory.
Unlikely thing is,
Grown Ups 2 is a pretty vanilla sort of comedy.
I don't know how it would have gone
on the sci-fi in the first one.
We've been thrown out.
The first Grown Ups was a real,
like, intense sci-fi. A real banging sci-fi film. first one. We've been thrown out. The first Grown Ups was a real intense sci-fi.
A real banging sci-fi film.
And then the sequel's just like a standard family comedy.
And the third one's going to be a western.
Genuine western.
I quite like that.
Okay, so...
So what has happened to Steve Buscemi?
We'll have to explain.
We have to explain every week.
The Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour is a part of the podcast
where we try to guess what happened to him in the first movie,
which is referenced in the second film,
which caused him to have significant spinal...
I think we've kind of established it's spinal injuries.
He's got nerve damage or something.
40% feeling in my body.
Yeah, and his hands have been in a cast,
like in the touchdown position for a long time.
Steve Buscemi was shopping.
No, what was his name?
Wiley.
Wiley.
Wiley was shopping at Kmart.
Of course.
Quick shout out to Kmart.
You know what I love to do when I've hit the gym at Gold's
and I've got myself a little slice from Blaze?
Head on over to Kmart to see all the bargains.
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe grab a rockstar energy
drink on the way i wish all of these products that we're naming were actually paying us to name them
so good i'd feel like adam sandler um anyway yeah so he's going for a shop in kmart and he's looking
around at the exercise equipment uh because he wants to get in shape he knows that you know his
he feels like him and his wife, Sherry,
are growing apart.
Her name's not Sherry,
whatever it is in the movie.
And so he's sort of like,
okay, I'm going to get in shape.
I'm going to, I'm going to,
I want to, you know,
I want to do something.
I want to do something.
I want to make something of myself.
And he goes into the exercise area
and he gets on like the treadmill
and he does the treadmill for about 10 minutes.
They don't put all this in the film, obviously. And he sort of gets a pretty good sweat on and then he gets off the treadmill, he gets on like the treadmill and he does the treadmill for about 10 minutes they don't put all this in the film obviously uh and he sort of gets pretty good sweat on and then
he gets off the treadmill gets on what's that weird one it's like with the handles and the feet
it's what like a step oh like a thing like what lenny faded was using at kmart yeah um they're
called like orbital walkers or some shit so it gets on one of those right and then adam sandler
lenny faded just so happens to also be at that k-mart going
for a walk uh just for whatever reason he loves it there we know that and he goes oh he sees wiley
and he's like oh i'm gonna give old wiley a bit of a fright and he goes and wiley in exactly the
same physical gag that adam sandler does in the second film sort of goes tumbling over the orbit
or whatever you want to call it and uh and and in doing so i mean it's a miracle adam sander didn't get injured in this grown-ups
too well i've got a theory off the back of that so i'm just letting you well anyway yeah and so
that's how that's how he got the injury adam sander gave him a fright when he was using the
exercise gear it came up trying to win the love of his wife back and another reference to the
relationship and another reference to the cycle of bullying, which is oft referenced but never quite understood in this film,
it's this perpetuating thing where Kevin James did it to Adam Sandler,
Adam Sandler had done it to Wiley.
Yeah, you got it.
Now, here's my theory about that, if that's true,
and I want to assume it is, at least for seven days
until I see the film again.
At least for another two until I see the film again um at least for another
two minutes until this podcast ends does that make Lenny Fader like superhuman uh did you hear that
cat yeah that cat there's no one listening could hear the cat which is why we shouldn't have
referenced the cat next door had um kittens under someone's deck and uh the neighbor came around and
said hey your cat's bloody had kittens under my deck and we're like it's not our cat it just hangs
out here oh man because i remember you guys were really nervous at this flat that it was going to
have the kittens here two pregnant cats that just hang out here bro and i did not want them birthing
inside the house yeah disgusting what's wrong with a cat birthing in your house i just figured there's
probably a lot of fluids and i don't know it's not something i want to deal with placenta does
a cat eat the eat its own placenta god i'm not sure dogs do it's good for their coat tom cruise
ate suri cruises ate uh the placenta from the birth of suri did he yeah is that part of the
scientology yeah i think so i think Is that part of the Scientology?
Yeah, I think so.
I think it's part of the Tom Cruise beliefs.
Shit, man.
Could you do it?
Eat the placenta?
A little placenta polenta?
I don't know. What if you fried it up with some other stuff?
I wouldn't really want...
Like, I might do it, but I don't see why.
Yeah.
I don't want to do it.
There was, I think, like, back in the day,
and I'm talking, like, tribal times, there was a lot of beliefs in the day and i'm talking like tribal times there
was a lot of beliefs that it gave you kind of power yeah i can see that it's fucking weird new
life you know yeah but you shouldn't you can see like there's such a strong connection between that
and new life i don't want to regenerate you i don't want to take this podcast to really blue
place especially when we're just wrapping up but don't eat something that comes out of a vagina
you know that's not for eating i reckon it's not that is just not a good way to conclude the podcast it's not well we're
not concluding it so let's put it back lenny fader superhuman possible because that um
going over the exercise exercise machine that he does go over like yeah i'm not getting injured
jumping off the cliff
and not getting injured and also maybe that's why he thinks it's real funny when he kills nick in
the school bus because he doesn't appreciate that other people aren't superhuman he doesn't
understand mortality maybe his power is that he is both superhuman and he can make other people
temporarily superhuman so he can execute really incredible um acts of violence against them anything's possible tim
imagine that it's like with superman right his power can extend to things that are within
i think it's an inch of his body that's why when he grabs like lois lane or whatever and wraps the
cape around her she's kind of like bulletproof a little bit in the old comics i haven't read
close enough to superman if you're close enough to superman you kind of like bulletproof a little bit in the old comics i haven't read i haven't read superman if
you're close enough to superman you kind of you get the and lenny fader is channeling superman
lenny fader has a bit of that going on i just got one shining light to do before it's game over uh
and it was just a bit of extra acting that really did well kevin james when he does his last burps
night of the film when he finds out his son is brilliant on the piano,
a real prodigious pianist,
he goes, my boy's a genius.
And then he does a burp snart and he goes,
your dad's also a genius and walks out of frame.
And behind Kevin James are two extras
who just do the best job of selling disgust.
Just looking like this guy.
Are they women?
Yeah, this guy is an animal like this
this guy should not be fathering that child the way he behaves is offensive awesome and it was
really well sold just a little shot there that's great kind of frame my shining light was when uh
same scene actually the party scene which occupies about 40 of the film so that's no surprise
peter dante in the skis on the roof oiled up and nothing but his underwear um riding 40% of the film, so that's no surprise. Peter Dante in the skis, on the roof, oiled up,
in nothing but his underwear,
riding on top of the roofs of the house.
And when he's shooting his gun,
he's shooting down into the crowd when he kicks off.
I like the reckless abandon with which he's approaching that little stunt.
Peter Dante, policeman, just...
It's pretty easy to just angle your wrists up
so you're not firing into people
nah fuck that though
that's not how
Peter Dante rolls
that's right
okay
well
it's been a pleasure
it's been great
that's a really interesting one
that one that we just did
yeah thanks for being awake
for the movie this week
as well Guy
way to come to the party
I knew after last week's effort
I haven't listened back
to the podcast
you had some mea culpa-ing
to do
yeah
this episode is going to be called mea culpa and I back to the podcast. You had some mea culpa-ing to do. Yeah.
This episode is going to be called mea culpa,
and I want everyone to know it's not my mea culpa,
it's yours.
See you next week.
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.