The Worst Idea Of All Time - Replay S01E43: Machetski
Episode Date: March 28, 2024Please enjoy this victory lap of Season One episodes as we celebrate 10 years of The Worst Idea of All Time. New episodes posting on our Substack.Original Description:Twas the morn before ChristmasAnd... all through Tim's flatNobody was homeAnd he was down with that.He drunk beer after beer while he watched Grown Ups 2While his friend Guy Montgomery was watching it too.But alas, the lads were apart for their viewing this weekAnd over Skype, using computers, did the boys online speak.And Tim had had beers, too many to countAnd Guy was in the South Island, next to a Mount!So they watched and they chatted and it all turned to shit.So they tried once again to record and, HEY! This is it! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello everybody, I'm in the world's most echoey room which is a fun place to record the preamble
for episode number 43 which I've just listened to. An interesting episode, an interesting episode
for the simple fact that this is probably the drunkest I've ever been on one of the podcasts
before. Although I did miss the listen of From Memory, it's episode 10 where we did the drinking game
rules, I hope you enjoyed
that, I should give that a listen actually
and I'd like to hear what Monty had
to say ahead of that episode too
I remember that quite fondly
and the banana and the blood, oh yuck
anyway, we're not talking about that one, we're talking about this
one, Guy Montgomery
sober as a judge as far as I can
tell, Tim Baird absolutely blasted by himself
in a flat um on on the eve of a significant holiday it's a grim scene to be sure um making
a lot of calls some of them spicy some of them not coming for guy as you'd expect slightly
belligerent i think the amount of booze rolling around in my bloodstream.
But I don't want to spoil anything,
but the Patty Schwartz party time in this episode
is a really special one that spawned a lot of fan art
and one of the best ones, I reckon.
It's cool.
It's low-key in here.
It's funny these moments, you know,
that get immortalized
in life and in the
podcast and in other shows where
it's actually the mention
of it itself is quite low key
and then the myth that grows
around that moment
and the memes that form
and all the beautiful
artwork and references and what not
but anyway the Paddy Schwartz,
this time is a good one, in my opinion.
I hope you enjoy this episode.
I have absolutely zero memory of recording it
for obvious reasons.
A lot of the ones in season one,
I do remember fondly.
This one, no knowledge of saying the words
that you're about to hear from my mouth enjoy
welcome to the worst idea of Time, episode number 43.
My name is Tim Batt.
My name is Guy Montgomery, and happy holidays to all of you.
Yes, and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Right up front, we'd like to make you aware of the situation of the watching here today.
Firstly, I'm surrounded by many, many empty beer bottles.
I think I've polished off seven beers now, Guy.
And what I would like to say is that we just recorded a podcast
and Guy's computer crashed and lost the audio file on his side.
So we're having to just record another one straight off the bat.
Yeah, so there's going to be a particular flavor of anguish on this one
as we dip into the Grown Ups 2 pool, not once, but twice in one day.
Of course, the exciting news is that, Tim, you've still got your audio file, don't you?
Yeah, I do.
It's here.
Yeah, it's here.
So, I mean, the option is always there just to just release i mean that would be
a very funny listen because you would sound truly insane because it would sound like you're imagining
recording a podcast with someone but who wants like does anyone want that is the question i feel
insane enough is it like i'll just explain my situation right now i'm alone completely alone
in my big flat it's just me it's christmas eve it's uh it's only 10 past 11 in the
morning now for christ's sake i've already watched the movie and done one podcast and polished off
quite a few beers um i've got a good quality microphone in front of me which to increase the
audio quality i've taken the following steps number one i put it on a stand which i'm holding
i've put on fingerless gloves that are made of possum fur to reduce the
amount of like mic noise I've got a pop sock in front of it and I'm wearing two sets of headphones
so on the inside I've got like earbuds that are connected to the cell phone which is how
I can hear what guy's saying and over the top of that I'm listening to my own voice through
larger headphones to make sure I'm not peeking out that is that is a pretty wacky arrangement
mine isn't quite as uh quite as exciting but it's also of interest I'm outside in the beating sun
I've got uh one muff headphone on my ear, my phone pressed against my right ear.
And to try and combat the sun,
because the best reception is only available in sunny spots right now,
I've put a chair with a towel over it on the table next to my computer.
It looks weird.
I mean, it looks really weird, Tim.
And I'm just recording straight into this this shitty little
computer microphone so I apologize for audio quality whenever I speak on this particular
episode of the worst idea of all time but we're not here to talk about the technical arrangement
but firstly guy you need to explain where you are and why we're doing this crazy technical
arrangement that's important yeah well we just had a bit of a technical hiccup didn't we uh
internet I'm currently in the Marlborough Sounds,
which is the top of the South Island,
and reception and internet access are patchy at best.
And so we've been forced into a corner and we're improvising,
much like I imagine the cast of Grown Ups 2 were forced into a corner
when they realised it was the first day of shooting
and they hadn't written a script, and they also had to improvise.
So there's going to be varying degrees of quality to the podcast,
but let's all hope for the best
and that we can get a higher review than 7% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Yeah, together I think we can.
We can achieve all those goals.
God, so where do we jump in here?
First things first, Tim.
It's lonely going back to watching the movie without a companion, I'll tell you that.
It is a very lonely and harrowing experience.
It took me right back to the days when you were at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival,
which was a very dark time in my life.
Excuse me.
Little gas there.
Sorry, that'll happen after a couple couple of beers uh it's not fun bro
it's not good no it's not fun and then moreover i feel like this technical sort of kerfuffle we
found ourselves in afterwards just highlights that like the lengths that we've gone to to ensure that
we get to have this important conversation around watching Grown Ups 2 for the 43rd time is it's too much, really.
I mean, I do not think that it warrants
this amount of commitment.
You're damn right about that.
It definitely doesn't.
There's no question.
What we're doing doesn't make any fucking sense,
but that's the point, isn't it?
I guess, I mean, what's important is that we do get down to the nitty-gritty
and discuss exactly what has happened in the film today.
The plot is still very similar, very similar to last week
and the weeks preceding that.
It's just a bunch of people in a town, really,
and that is essentially the plot.
I mean, they don't really go into too much more detail than that.
Tim, I did notice something which I'd quite like us to start doing.
There's a new hashtag available for us,
hashtag PuritanPower,
which is one of the slogans at Stanton High School.
I think that's a really good hashtag.
I think we could have something on our hands there.
Wait, have you searched it yet, though, bro?
Have you seen what's on there currently?
Well, you know full well that my internet situation is
dire so no i have not let me do it while i'm talking to you you take i actually like just
in the last five minutes or so um feel like the alcohol was really kicked in i was very lucid for
the first recording of the podcast but i i feel like um it's really coming to the fore now
feel like the afterburn coming to the fore now.
The afterburners have been activated.
Well, Tim, there were a few points in the movie that, I mean,
I guess the benefit of watching it alone is that you do pay attention sort of with more consistency than otherwise.
It was a very immersive viewing.
It was just me and the laptop with the headphones on.
I mean, it was a real cinema experience.
I still don't know why exactly the guys go to Kmart,
beyond the real world reason,
which is to pay for part of the film.
But what are you doing?
At least go to the trouble of some explanation
for why they go to Kmart.
They're just suddenly in Kmart.
No one suggested they go to Kmart.
No one actually needed anything.
None of what they buy is part of the plot, except for maybe the raft.
Yeah.
They're just suddenly, I mean, Tim, if we were hanging out one morning and I said to
you, hey, I've got a really great idea for how we could kill like maybe 45 minutes, should
we nip down to the Kmart, what would you say?
I'd say, all right, let's go.
They've got cheap Pepsi.
Well, I guess, I mean, if that's how our, alright, let's go. They've got cheap Pepsi. Well, I guess
I mean, if that's how our friendship works
then it makes it slightly more conceivable that
that's how it could work in grown-ups too. Maybe
they just were short of something to do and wanted to go.
I was assuming what you would say to me is
Guy, could you please
come up with something better, with a better idea?
The only thing, like
Chris Rock, when he's in Kmart, is looking at the
garden hose section, you know, just to facilitate
a conversation with Tim Meadows
he winds up buying that garden hose, did you see what
happened to that garden hose in the film Tim? I sure didn't
it didn't amount to much
and I'll tell you what, everyone buys something
and I know that Nick Swanson
buys toilet paper
and I know that Chris Rock
buys indiscriminate objects in a shopping bag
and Kevin James has something too.
And a garden hose.
And a garden hose.
I can't remember if Lenny Fader has anything.
No, I don't think Kevin James buys anything.
I think Sandler buys something.
I don't think Kevin James does because he's got to keep his arms free
for that great burp snot he does in the car park.
A very memorable moment in the film.
Good point.
It just drives me insane though.'s no explanation mate um yeah well you're trying to you know
trying to find too much meaning in all this all this stuff how's the puritan power hashtag looking
dude if i've spelt it right nothing exists on it is it p-u-r-i-t-i-a-n is that how you spell puritan no it's p-u-r-i-t-a-n
oh there's no second i
well then that's my fucking bad
alright hold on
let me delve back into it
let's remove that i
there
and uh
oh shit
there's tons
here we bloody go
there's a link Here we bloody go.
Here's a link to a bloody New York Times opinion piece here.
All right, do you want me to read some of these?
What's the go here?
What do you want to have happen?
I don't really care.
How interested are you in Puritan power?
Okay, here's the first one. At Pastor Clint writes,
At Coyestill, it's C-O-Y-E-S-T-I-L-L,
power cleaning big weight in the shed today,
quoting the Bible and pounding the iron.
Hashtag Puritan Power.
The second one is actually in Spanish.
And it says,
Panda de Noños,
hashtag Puritan Power,
retweet some Instagram thing.
The third is...
My interest in the PuritanPower hashtag
is waning at a rate of knots, Tim.
But this last one's good.
Let's talk about the film again.
Let's get off this PuritanPower hashtag,
hashtag PuritanPower.
Okay, but don't forget that you started this hot mess
of a situation of a hashtag of a fucking
conversation i didn't i didn't quite anticipate you uh approaching it with as much vigor as you
did and that is my bad i underestimated your your current state of inebriation
this is only half about that bro it's only half about that you know what i mean
what did you notice today and watching Grown Ups 2?
Here's the things I noticed in no particular order
because I wrote down some notes.
This, and I'll level with you guys,
I used this as my shining light in the first recording of the podcast.
Lenny Fader says at the start, he says,
it's the first time I haven't had a job since I was 16 years old.
I'm just enjoying the fun.
Now, he says this in a seemingly flippant comment to his wife, Selma Hayek,
in the movie, Roxanne, what's her double barrel last name?
Fader?
I don't remember.
Oh, fuck, neither do I.
We should know that.
But anyway, she suggests they have another kid. He says that line. I don't remember fuck neither do I we should know that but anyway
she suggests
they have another kid
he says
that line
but it's that
last bit of the line
I'm just enjoying
the fun that really
stuck out to me
and I feel like
Lenny Fader
slash
Adam Sandler
is saying that to us
he's breaking the
fourth wall
and he's saying
this is the first time
I've worked on a film
you know
since my early days
where I've been
grinding away where I've been grinding away
where I worked my way up from my bootstraps
on Saturday Night Live
and I made these very good comedy films
where I worked oh so hard on them
and this one, do you know what
I've got my foot off the gas a little bit
I'm just enjoying the fun
so you feel like
he's almost breaking the fourth wall
he's winking at the
camera when he says that that's what i'm saying i'm saying not only that but it's actually more
like a warning for the rest of the film because it comes pretty early where it's like you know
what guys just take this for what it is me and my mates decided to get together and hang out and
and there happened to be some cameras rolling and we made up some skits they don't amount to much
i know that there's not a broad story here.
This isn't Lord of the Rings we're shooting.
But, you know, fucking we had a good time, so have at it.
Well, I don't doubt that they had a good time.
I just feel like it wouldn't have killed them if they'd maybe...
I feel like they did have a really good time on set,
or at least around set, maybe in the trailers,
you know, after they'd finished work
for the day or whatever, I just don't know that they captured
the essence of that fun
on film
I hear you because of Chris Rock's dead
eyes, that's what makes you say that
if any time you look at Chris Rock's eyes
while he's on camera, cold
dead eyes, he doesn't like what he's
doing, he doesn't like what he's making
Tim, I really like that, I think that's an interesting point dead eyes he doesn't like what he's doing he doesn't like what he's making i tim i really
like that i think that's a it's a it's an interesting point uh and certainly with with
consideration my shining light um this week was actually it's one of the first lines in the movie
that i've never heard before uh it's really close to the top when the deer starts pissing all over
the bedroom and pissing on adam sandler, Salma Hayek actually says, close your mouth, because he's getting urine in his mouth.
Oh, my God.
First of all, that's funny.
I've never heard that.
First of all, it's funny because the deer's pissing in Adam Sandler's mouth,
which is just good comedy.
I mean, I think I just found it satisfying that there was a line in there I'd missed,
and that was actually, I mean, it's not bad comedy, is it?
It's also not bad advice.
If a deer's pissing on your face, your your instinct would be to close your mouth yep you're not wrong guy you are not wrong so I mean I just I found that little hidden treasure
buried in the in the opening scene of the film one which has been much derided by us
uh in previous episodes of the podcast I actually found quite a lot during the movie,
as I was saying earlier,
that I feel by virtue of not sitting next to you
and sort of having someone to deflect to
or discuss and get on tangents with,
when it's just you and the movie,
there are things you notice
which aren't otherwise available to you.
Boy, do you zone in, guy.
Boy, do you get involved with that.
You put your head down, you put your head down,
you put your bum up and you get to the work of
looking at grown-ups too as a real
work of cinema. That's right.
Also,
but you'll probably notice that a lot of these things I noticed
were at the start of the film when I was still sort of quite optimistic
about the viewing experience and then
the list sort of tapers out
after about the maybe ten minute mark.
There was a really nice shot down
the hallway of becky roxanne and greg uh when the deer's running down the hallway and greg's in the
shower roxanne and becky are landing out their bedrooms it's just a beautifully constructed shot
i'm sure the dop had a really good time taking that uh probably a few high fives were thrown
around set after they bought that what the sort of like a focus line is happening to us that we're
heaping this amount of praise on grown-ups too like i started to suspect today because i was watching it by myself
and at the very beginning before i had the turn i had some sort of warm feeling it's like oh this
recognizable old friend coming in from the cold to greet me a happy farewell and a merry christmas
and i feel like there is some semblance of a Stockholm Syndrome type scenario
starting to form here.
It does sound like a Stockholm Syndrome situation, doesn't it?
Yeah, bro.
Although it's unique from Stockholm Syndrome
in that we haven't been kidnapped by grown-ups too.
We've sort of surrendered ourselves to...
Like, we haven't been kidnapped, have we?
The conditions of entrapment are semi-relevant.
The fact of the matter is we are engaged with this enemy.
We are trapped inside of its prison,
no matter if it put us there or we put ourselves there.
And now we're starting to form some weird kind of symbiotic,
sympathetic relationship with this film
where we start forgiving its sins.
And I don't think it deserves that, man.
Hey, just before that, you were saying this is just Adam Sandler having some fun
and maybe we shouldn't hold the movie up to the standards that we have been week after week.
I mean, I feel like these beers you've been drinking got you all over the map, Tim.
I've had eight beers, guy,
and I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
I've seen this movie 43 times now.
You can't, like,
I don't know where the insanity begins
and, Tim, ends.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, look, I'm sorry.
I don't mean to sort of
shine the cold, hard, magnifying glass
of logic on you too hard.
I mean, it sounds like you're in a pretty dark place.
It's Christmas Eve.
You're all by yourself.
You're drunk in a flat.
You're recording your second podcast after your 43rd viewing of Grown Ups 2.
That's fucked up, bro.
And the movie is like an hour and a half long.
And the podcast is like half an hour.
This is too much for Christmas Eve.
It's far too much.
It's quite a lot to take in.
Another thing that I noticed in the movie, Tim,
is, I don't know if we've talked about it before,
I'm really worried about just the general health of everyone
in Stanton, Connecticut.
Tell me more.
I first noticed it when the, you know,
there's that shot on the bus where Nick Swartzen's asleep at the back of the bus
and the kids are feeding him sort of what look like twisties, we call them in New Zealand.
I think they might be Cheetos in America.
Oh, sure.
Now, I don't know, if I was a parent, I wouldn't want my kid eating these sort of quite fatty treats
on the way to school.
That's not a good place to start is it
oh guy but it could but no because it goes on from there because these aren't even like young
kids who don't know better these are these are teenagers who should stay having some consideration
from their body and then like you look at chris rock's family they're having not like pure oj but
that tropicana orange juice at breakfast and pepsi the the day. I mean, there's a lot of sugar going in their bodies there.
That's a diabetes risk.
You look at the dinner, you know that after-party dinner when they have eggs, pancakes, sausages, bacon,
all at about 1 a.m.?
Yeah.
These are full-grown men with families to worry about.
And then Adam Sandler has the gall to walk into his bedroom with his newly pregnant wife.
He's just eaten like presumably two servings of what
is an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet at the lamin softs and he's still going back for more
he's eating chips potato chips he's got pepsi next to the bed crisps for our uk i mean these
people can't be expected to live much longer than 50 when you live in the grown-ups to universe do you want to live much longer than 50
well that's a good okay so let me let me lay something on you guy i mean we know that the
rules are slightly different in the grown-ups to universe for example nicks woodson doesn't die
when he gets his neck broken in a horrific bus incident at the hands of lenny fader which would
kill a normal man under normal
circumstances. So we know the rules are different. So I put it to you that in the Grown Ups 2 universe,
you cannot kill yourself directly. There's no way to do it. It's disallowed, right? It's like in the
Christian faith, killing yourself is a sin, in certain denominations at least. I believe in,
if you're a devout Catholic, in Catholicism, you know, it's a sin to kill denominations at least i believe in if you're a devout catholic and
catholicism you know it's a sin to kill yourself and particularly i'll tell you one thing mormonism
it definitely is so i put it to you grown-ups too is set in a pseudo mormon setting where you
cannot kill yourself directly and these guys just want to escape the reality of their daily lives,
and the only way they can do it is by eating their fat asses into an early grave.
I see.
So you think they're deliberately sort of going about this poor nutrition
in the hopes of an early grave.
Death.
That's what I'm positing.
It may be a reflection of my current situation
and the darkness which I found myself surrounded in before it's not even new now for christ's sake
i'm wasted it's it's christmas eve but i'd like to think that it's not a projection situation
and that i'm actually picking up on something that i haven't in the previous weeks of watching this
i'd like to think that as well um there are some other talking points I'd quite like to tackle
before we get into our regular segment.
Oh, dig in.
Which is, I think that they need to do a bit of a culling of the staff
at the high school, or at all the schools in Stanton.
We've talked about the ballet recital before.
Now, this recital lasts for probably less than 10 minutes.
Presumably the ballet teacher's been working on this with the kids for, I don't know, a couple of months at least.
At least.
To get them ready for their big performance.
There's only about 15 kids on stage.
There's over 100 people watching that recital.
There's more than four adults to one child on stage.
Who are these grown-ups?
Well, I could take you on on that point right now if you
allow me to would you allow me to of course shack himself officer uh
fizzu fizzu says himself everyone's going to be there everyone knows about the hot
teacher bro everyone knows about that teacher everyone's coming to see her
my question is how did the husbands drag their wives to that event because everyone seems to
be coupled up i don't well i just i just don't understand i do not understand how a 10 minute
ballet recital featuring 12 children draws that crowd i mean obviously you've made the point of
the ballet teacher but questions need to be asked i mean the education the ministry of education
needs to look at look at where these resources are being put put put into the schools because
the other thing i thought was you know when adam sandler trips up on that sprinkler and breaks his
son's leg oh yeah i remember it fondly they're in the middle of a fully functional football field
that isn't like just a temporary irrigation sprinkler that is embedded in the field yeah
that is a health that is a health hazard i mean
presumably they play full football games on that how has it not happened before how is that how is
that how is that groundskeeper not in huge trouble the ground who fires these especially because in
in new zealand and because i'm aware that the majority of our audience is in america in new
zealand we have this thing called acc which is the accident uh
compensation corporation compensation which would freak you guys out because like you think obamacare
is socialized medicine we've got legit socialized medicine over here and it is wonderful we all pay
into a big pool and if you fuck yourself up accidentally they give you a payout they fix you
and they they pay for you if you're off work to like
80% of your income or something.
In America though, they
sue the fuck out of each other all the time.
They fucking love it.
So if you've got a sprinkler
out there, and it's at
the university, isn't it?
It's at, isn't it
at Bronson? No, it's not at the university.
It's at the high school. Stanton High.
If we're calling it that.
I don't know.
Hashtag Puritan power.
Puritan power.
Go Puritans.
But someone would,
like Keithy,
and especially because
Lenny Fader was an agent
in Hollywood
as far as we can
get a grasp on
in the first movie.
So he is well aware
of the power of the law
and of getting,
you know,
legal on people's asses he would sue the
fuck out of that groundskeeper yeah i mean he would he'd be calling in a lot of high-powered
lawyers and really looking to take that school to task i just i just feel like it's a huge oversight
on the part of a groundskeeper his predominant job is to keep is to keep the grounds i mean
the last thing you want is a groundskeeper trying to predominant job is to keep the grounds. I mean the last thing
you want as a groundskeeper, trying to maintain a decent reputation, is an embedded sprinkler
in the middle of a functioning football field. That's not even high risk, high reward, it's
just needlessly risky.
Guy, we've got a couple of destinations we need to head to and we are quickly running
out of road to hit them in. So if I may, I'd like to invite you onto a little vehicle of
mine. Would that be okay with you?
That sounds great to me, Tim.
Oh shit, hold on, here it comes now.
Woohoo!
Roll up!
Roll up for the mystery tour
And roll up
It's an inspiration
Roll up for the mystery tour
This Deep U for the mystery tour.
The Steve Buscemi mystery tour is coming to take I away.
Coming to take I away.
Take him today.
That was beautiful.
It wasn't, but I thank you for humoring me.
Steve Buscemi mystery tour.
Tim, have you got something for this? Certainly do. Here's what's happened to Steve Buscemi mystery tour uh Tim have you got something for this certainly do here's what's happened to Steve Buscemi he has been uh injured in the first movie and we haven't seen the first
movie so we're trying to guess his injuries here are our clues his hands are affixed in the
touchdown position for two years and he has had 40 feeling in in his body. What I would like to posit is that he has been involved in a horrific boxcar accident.
Boxcars are real cool.
Often a father and son venture where you get together and you make out of planks of wood a box,
you put some wheels on it and a steering wheel, it's very rudimentary,
and then you race those things downhill against the other neighborhood kids now steve bc me made one of these uh for his son and to test it out he went
down a mighty hill um to really show his son what it was made of how fast it could go and
his cornering abilities unfortunately he lost control and ended up fucking out and slammed
into a dumpster at the end.
But what
happened was he had his hands in
the touchdown position at the time because he went
Woo! I'm the king of the
world. Look at me, son.
And he really fucked out
and it smashed him.
That is probably, from recent
weeks, one of the more plausible theories we've had
about how Steve Buscemi got his injuries.
A lot more possible than the time travel one.
I'm going to be really interested to find out.
Yeah.
I also have heard from numerous sources
that Steve Buscemi, as it turns out,
doesn't have a fascination with fingering jars of mayonnaise,
and that was just pure speculation on my part.
I really loved that one, though, by the way, bro.
I just wanted to put that out there.
Well, Tim, I like that one. As you said,. I just wanted to put that out there. Well Tim,
I like that one.
As you said,
we're running out of time
so if you wouldn't mind
humouring me quickly
I've actually,
I've got a friend
who's coming over.
Do you?
Who's that?
Who's your mate?
Yeah.
Oh he's got a bit of a stutter.
He sort of,
when he comes to the room
he usually goes a bit like this.
He goes
Padish Wars
Party time It's Padish Wars a nigger and he's riding on a jet ski It's Padish Wars Paddy Schwartz, party time.
It's Patrick Schwarzenegger and he's riding on a jet ski.
It's Paddy Schwartz, party time.
He's brandishing a machete and we're saying,
Paddy, put it down.
It's Paddy Schwartz, party time.
Machete ski.
Paddy Schwartz has got a new business.
Machete ski.
Brought to you by Patrick Schwarzenegger.
Hashtag.
Sick of not being allowed to carry.
Hashtag pure and power. Hashtag machete ski. Hashtag machete ski. How do you spell machete ski real quick, Guy? Patrick Schwarzenegger sick of not being allowed to carry hashtag Puritan power
hashtag Meshetsky
that's a big hashtag
how do you spell Meshetsky
real quick guy
just so people can tweet that out
M-A-C-H-E-T-S-K-I
Meshetsky
it's a business idea
that Patrick Schwarzenegger
after he's made a lot of money
on Blaze Pizza
hashtag Blaze Pizza
big thanks to, frankly,
the finest and fastest pizza on Venice Beach.
No, don't hashtag Blaze Pizza.
You've got to tag them in.
And I think it's just hashtag Blaze Pizza, I think.
Let me double check.
But you go.
At Blaze Pizza.
Anyway, well, this isn't my Patrick Schwarzenegger
party time moment,
but I understand that he started a business
where he's just started strapping machetes
onto the front of jet skis.
And it's sort of,
it's a classic example of working backwards from the name.
He just came up with the word machete ski quite likely
and sort of thought he'd see if he can dip his toe
in the machete ski or jet ski pool.
But my Patty Schwartz party time moment this week, Tim,
was when Patrick Schwarzenegger got headbutted
by the blonde frat boy at the quarry.
It looked to me like an improvised offer
from the blonde frat boy,
and Patrick Schwarzenegger was not expecting the headbutt,
and he sort of was a bit all at sea
for all of half a second to a second,
but it was a joy to watch him recover
in the professional years.
He recovered at pace and sort of turned back
to Adam Sandler and the grown-ups. Pad schwartz headbutts like who he butts home because
my memory he receives it he receives a headbutt so they're psyching up and threatening the grown-ups
and the blonde guy looks at patrick schwarzenegger and he bows his head and he butts right into his
sort of chest or his thorax region oh yeah if he was an insect it's just
yeah what what what what's what's where's your windpipe what's in the middle of your body
your windpipe what's your what's a thorax you think well you don't have a thorax because you're
not an insect but i guess it's your torso um your sternum what is it what is it north of your
where your belly i think i wanted i think i wanted i think i wanted to say sternum sternum if you go a little north I think I wanted
I think I wanted to say sternum
sternum sure
sure sure sure
well I feel like my ignorance is really
distracted from the Paddy Schwartz party time
don't you dare
not at all
so tell me what exactly about that moment is so beautiful
for you
it was just watching getting to watch sort of the raw footage
of Patrick Schwarzenegger deal with an improvised offer
and then sort of seeing him with his shaky sea legs like a newborn foal.
He was really struggling to find his feet.
But in a matter of seconds, he came to.
And not only did he accept the offer, he yes anded the offer,
which is one of the classic rules of improv.
He said yes and,
and he took that,
and his and was he turned to the grown-ups
and sort of turned his fear into a threat
and into essentially their fear of the frat boys.
All right, Guy.
It was really powerful stuff.
It's a good one.
It's a real good one.
I want to announce that I have tried to recreate
the drinking rules for the grownown Ups 2 drinking game.
And they're really coming along.
And what my aim is is to have these out on or around New Year's.
So during the festive season, if you find yourself at a lost stand with some mates,
you can go, I've got just the thing for this.
Jump on the facebook.com slash worst idea of all time.
Have a look at the rules there and go,
you know what we're going to do, gentlemen, today?
We're going to watch Grown Ups 2,
and we're going to follow Tim and Guy's advice
on where and when to drink.
And I'd like to add that, based on the rules I have so far,
you do drink quite a lot during the movie
so you just want to take really
not a big gulp
you want to take a little sip of beer
at each
point that I've labelled out in the rules
it's not coming out for another week
but they'll be there soon enough
because
very good work
we did a drinking game episode much earlier in the podcast
months and months ago um but i lost the page that i scribbled all my notes down on and i'm sure i
took a photo of it but i can't find the file anywhere so this is the situation yeah i also i
have to i have to accept responsibility um i was i was somewhat belligerent and overbearing
in that episode of the podcast,
and I might not have given you and the drinking rules
the breathing room they needed
to be made clear through the podcast.
So I'll put my hand up and wear that one.
That's fine.
You've done a noble thing in trying to recreate it, Tim,
and I'm sure not only will I appreciate it,
but any listener stupid enough to turn on Grand Ops 2
will also be very appreciative of what you're doing.
In closing, the correct at is at Blaze
Pizza B-L-A-Z-E
or Z if you're in America
P-I-Z-Z-A
Blaze Pizza. Make sure you
at Blaze Pizza
and all your tweets to us. We'd love to get
more of those selfies in. All the selfies
we've received, they bring us so much
joy. They make me so happy
seeing you guys
listening to the podcast out there
because you come from
different walks of life.
Me and Guy,
we grew up in New Zealand
but you guys are like in,
you're in Chicago,
you're in Nebraska,
you're in the fucking Netherlands,
bitch.
You're in United Kingdom.
All right, Tim,
you're getting a little bit
adventurous with your descriptions of where people are
and the names you're calling those people.
So I'd be very happy to sign off at this point and wish everyone a safe holiday season.
Yes, a Merry Christmas, a Happy Kwanzaa, and a jolly good Hanukkah to you all.
That's right.
We'll be back probably, I mean, I don't know that you'll get to hear from us
New Year's Eve
bitch
New Year's
motherfucking Eve
well this is a
this is a conversation
that needs to
take place between
right now
to my off air
right now
the conversation's happening
and it's done
we'll see you guys
on New Year's Eve
motherfuckers
new episode
episode 44
worst day of all time.
Hashtag Puritan Power.
At Blaze Pizza.
Tim underscore bat.
Hashtag Mischetsky.
Guy underscore Matt.
Hashtag Mischetsky.
We're all...
I think I said your name wrong.
It's Guy Mont.
Guy underscore Mont.
I got carried away.
I'm going to bail out.
Bye, everyone.
Guy, take us away.
Pretty much just remember to live every moment. I got carried away I'm going to bail out bye everyone Guy take us away just pretty much
just remember to live every moment
and love every day
because before you know it
your precious time slips away
feel that moment
love every day
cause before you know it, your precious time slips away.
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