The Worst Idea Of All Time - Replay S01E51: Coyote

Episode Date: April 5, 2024

Please enjoy this victory lap of Season One episodes as we celebrate 10 years of The Worst Idea of All Time. New episodes posting on our Substack.Original Description:Guy and Tim have taken their camp...er (thanks Jucy Rentals!) to Joshua National Park, California. It's late, it's isolated and the boys are getting a little freaky. In this episode, the movie appears to have taken a backseat to delightful stories ranging from childhood bike injuries to a very recent adult pant-crapping incident.We find out what happened to Patty's grandparents and hear some positive words about Braden's acting ability. We're having a WONDEFUL time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 51. I remember recording this so vividly. I remember the juicy camper van. I remember being out in Joshua Tree. I remember the drive out to get there. It was, this is so cool. This is like the most fun I think that we've had on the podcast ever, that I can remember anyway.
Starting point is 00:00:27 I don't know if we bring it up afterwards but there was a a thing that happened when we were out on this trip in Joshua Tree where in the morning up so you're about to hear two dudes I'm pretty sure on a lot of mushrooms um if my memory is correct of us recording this in the next morning we got up quite early and went for a big walk and we went up to the top of this rock and we could see like this really weirdly quick animal running around on the ground and Joshua tree kind of kicking up a lot of dust and then it got closer and closer and it came right up to us from miles away and it was a road runner it was so cool um but what you're about to hear right now is two boys in the giggly throes of psilocybin and it's a great place to be um we're in LA we're elated and yeah we're amped I reckon this is an all-timer actually another one the
Starting point is 00:01:23 rear the back end of this season and the payoff for the journey guy and I were messaging about this other day he was like man just listen to episode 50 in the Kmart it was it was good and it's such a good reward for the people who've like been along for this season to get this real sense of journey at this stage and and like payoff and yeah it's a great vibe look it's a great vibe in the juicy camper van there is a fantastic story to look forward to about Guy Montgomery which you may have forgotten from the first time around or maybe this is your first time hearing it um but either way this is a an absolute 10 out of 10 ep i hope you enjoy it um we had a lot of fun recording it.
Starting point is 00:02:20 It was hard for you, wasn't it? Hello and welcome to the worst idea of all time, episode 51, coming at you live from Joshua Tree, just outside of Los Angeles in California, America. Yeah, we're in a national park now. What up? It's like an unspeakably beautiful night and we're inside a camper van. Kindly provided. How do you like that? No light? This is a good idea. Okay, cool. We're in pitch blackness now. A camper van kindly provided to us by Juice from Juicy.
Starting point is 00:02:47 Hey, this episode of the podcast is proudly brought to you via us by means of Juicy. Juicy Rentals. Juicy Rentals. And can I wax lyrical about this bitchin' ride for a second or two? Yeah, tell me about it, bro. It has tricked the fuck out. There's two cookers in here there's one that's built into the van and one that you can take if you're if you're a camper we haven't cooked anything from the van but i bought chili i've got a can of chili but it's
Starting point is 00:03:15 nice to have the option i'm gonna cook chili later um you're gonna love it you're gonna cook it tonight or in the morning the doors are electric which was a real mind fuck like this it's a panel van but i think this is automatic this is something we need to talk to dodge about The doors are electric, which was a real mindfuck. Like, they're sliding doors. It's a panel van, but they're automatic doors. This is something we need to talk to Dodge about rather than Juicy, but I don't think you need electric closing doors. Yeah, guys, you're overengineering. You're overthinking it.
Starting point is 00:03:36 We can just close the van doors ourselves. It's easy, bro. I've done it so many times before unaided. I've had a lot of practice. I'm really good at it. I actually kind of enjoy it. What else do we rock in? There's USB ports in the center console.
Starting point is 00:03:48 There's a solar panel on the roof. There's also an apartment on the roof, what we call a penthouse. Well, we call it that because that's what it's called because it's got a label on it called penthouse. What it is is it's basically like this wind-up, semi-rigid pop-up tent that you sleep in and you can get to it. It's like it's on the
Starting point is 00:04:05 roof of the car. It's fucking crazy guys. You gotta get one of these juicies. You gotta get one of these juicy windows. Cause that dog gonna hunt. That dog ain't gonna hunt. We at the hotel, we were staying at the stand on the sunset and there was this beautiful
Starting point is 00:04:21 waitress who we named Deidre. Deidre? Sweet D. We called her Sweet D. I still to this day have no idea what her actual name is. Anyway, she was from the south of America. Yeah, and we were like, teachers are cool, southern saying.
Starting point is 00:04:35 And so she yelled at her co-worker who I think was, was he from Louisiana? No, he was from, yeah, he might have been. Oklahoma. Who knows? I think he was from Oklahoma. He looked like he was from Oklahoma., he might have been. Oklahoma. Who knows? I think he was from Oklahoma. He looked like he was from Oklahoma. Real Oklahoma vibe on his face.
Starting point is 00:04:47 Like, without missing a beat, he just goes, that dog ain't going to hunt. And I didn't even know what he said. What he said is, that dog ain't going to hunt. And then we spent the better part of the morning speaking in southern accents like this. And saying that dog ain't going to hunt. Oh, that dog ain't going to hunt. You think that you're going to get out in the desert and record a podcast after watching Grown Ups 2 for the 51st time in a juicy van?
Starting point is 00:05:10 That dog ain't going to hunt. Well, guess what? Wait, before I forget, we've got to mention our second sponsor of the episode. That's right. And that is Simon Orr. And I am an Orr of Simon. Yeah, thanks very much to Simon as well. So here we are.
Starting point is 00:05:25 We're in the desert. We've just watched Grown Ups 2 for the 51st time in our lives. And we're in America for some reason and none of this is making any sense to me right now. Yeah. You know? The reason that we're here
Starting point is 00:05:41 is because we've watched Grown Ups 2 51 times. Isn't it amazing that if you do something absolutely bafflingly stupid enough, amazing things will happen and people will throw money at you to travel to another country. Yeah, this episode's brought to you by the fans. Thank you. Yeah, anyone who contributed on our Indiegogo, you're a bloody legend, as we say back home in New Zealand.
Starting point is 00:06:09 I've become so sensitive to my New Zealand accent since being here, dude. Yeah? In what ways? So we were at a party, folks, in Malibu last night, and we were hanging out with a bunch of really cool teenagers. But we're 27, and we're not used to being old yet because we're still in our mid-20s but we were like oh no and then also it was real weird because we're new zealanders and both guy and i have quite thick kiwi accents we were coming in pretty hot we were freaking out a lot of freaking out a lot of teenagers at the party yeah Yeah. It was like the Kmart thing, but at a slightly different age range.
Starting point is 00:06:47 We're just worrying people in America. That's what we say back home in New Zealand. We say, if you're freaking out the sheep, you're worrying the sheep. You've got to be like, no, no, no, don't make all that noise in your Jeep. You will worry the sheep. You'll worry the sheep. We're worrying the Americans, bro. Who cares about whether or not sheep are worried?
Starting point is 00:07:04 Sheep just want to eat grass and walk around with each other. Yeah. You can't worry a sheep. Do you think they experience worry, or is that just a construct we've attached to them? Because we like to make everything about us. I think you can startle a sheep. I don't think you can worry a sheep.
Starting point is 00:07:22 I don't think a sheep can be worried about its life. Imagine if you couldn't startle a sheep as well, though. You cannot startle this sheep. Are you a sheep? You're an unstartlable sheep. Yeah, I am a sheep and you cannot startle me. Anyway. I want to talk about one of two things.
Starting point is 00:07:37 One of them is either the movie or the other thing is a neat story about that party. I really... But I'm going to leave it up to you, Guy. I really don't want to talk about the movie, bro. Oh, so you want to talk about the other thing is a neat story about that party. I really... But I'm going to leave it up to you, guy. I really don't want to talk about the movie, bro. Oh, so you want to talk about the other thing? What's the other thing, Tim? I'm not going to do it because it's up to you. Okay.
Starting point is 00:07:55 It's your call to come out of the closet. I'm comfortable sharing this with the podcast. It was a pretty funny thing happened to me this morning. I'd went to sleep in the fantastic penthouse apartment on top of a juicy camper uh i woke up i was still a little out of it a little hazy from the night before yeah and i um i was like oh i've got to go i got to do a wheeze so i i get up i'd like somehow jump there's a ladder but we never later up i fell i heard it happen we didn't have a letter up. I fell. I heard it happen. I didn't see it, but I heard you at the gravel. I fell from the top of our camper van onto the gravel driveway where we were staying. And then I lay there for like a couple minutes because it hurt.
Starting point is 00:08:36 Then I got up, pulled down my pants and started urinating. And then I was like, oh, I got to do a fart. I'm going to do a fart now. And then I was like, oh, I got to do a fart. I'm going to do a fart now. And then I shat myself. I completely bloody shat myself. Because I'm pretty sure I heard the moment, like I heard a very wet fart and I'm pretty sure I heard a noise
Starting point is 00:09:01 resembling like an uh-oh, like a noise of regret, verbalized regret on your behalf, like something has not gone terribly right. I shat myself at a mansion in Malibu. And then what I did is I said to Tim, hey, Tim, because we were sharing our penthouse, I said, I shat myself. Can you give me something to cut?
Starting point is 00:09:22 Like I pretty much took off the underpants, threw them over the fence. Tim gave me a towel kindly provided to us by Juicy. Yeah, Juicy, I'd recommend you burn that towel if we don't do it first. I wrapped the towel around my waist, put on a t-shirt, and walked through the house past all these sleeping teenagers who had just been freaking out the night before. They were climbing out, man. They were good sleepers. Went and cleaned myself up.
Starting point is 00:09:45 You know what my favourite bit about the party was? They were playing Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Water on repeat about a hundred times in a row at the maximum volume
Starting point is 00:09:55 on some very loud speakers. And like there was normal party music going on in the normal party area of the house. But in this other wing of the house just blaring out Bridge Over Troubled Water again and again in the normal party area of the house. But in this other wing of the house,
Starting point is 00:10:06 just blearing out. It's a very... Bridge over troubled water again and again and again. It's a very unique thing that they were doing at the party. That's fucking crazy. So now that we've talked about that, Tim... Now that that's off our chest... Can we knuckle down and get to work, please? We bloody should, because we're not here...
Starting point is 00:10:20 Can we roll our sleeves up? Yeah. Bloody put a belt on, put on some steel cap boots. And our big boy pants. And go down to work. Down in the mine. Can we go down the mines and talk about Grown Ups 2?
Starting point is 00:10:32 Excuse me, elevator operator, I work here in the mine, and I need you to take me down to the bloody depths of the 51st watch. That's right. Hey, so this is the second to last time we've watched Grown Ups 2. Oh, interesting choice in tense there for that sentence. I don't know. You could have picked either, and I think it would have been somewhat correct and somewhat incorrect. That's okay.
Starting point is 00:10:53 Tim, you asked me a question during the movie. You said, am I going to miss watching Grown Ups 2? Am I going to miss Grown Ups 2? Will you? No. Will you miss me? Probably not. Like we live nearby.
Starting point is 00:11:08 Yeah, that's true. We do stuff together. We'll still be friends. Like I cannot fucking wait to stop watching this movie. It'll be good, eh? The movie was happening tonight and I just could not
Starting point is 00:11:20 for the life of me look at the screen. I could not bring myself to look at the tablet and watch the movie. Yeah. I'm pretty sure that's not usually how the movie-going experience goes.
Starting point is 00:11:32 No, we usually knuckle down. Well, what I'm saying is usually when you go to a movie, Oh, I see. you like to watch the movie. Yeah. I'm pretty sure if we're not capable of looking at the screen anymore that the movie's having an adverse effect on us.
Starting point is 00:11:45 Well, yeah, but I mean, you're saying that in a way like we're suggesting the movie is bad. If you watch any movie 50 times, on the 51st, you're probably going to avoid the screen. I'm going to venture out on a limb here. Now, you be careful. Now, hold on, guy. Stop for a second.
Starting point is 00:12:02 Think about what you're saying. I want you to really watch yourself out there, buddy. I'm going to tell you. Hold on now, Guy. Stop for a second. Think about what you're saying. I want you to really watch yourself out there, buddy. I'm going to tell you. Hold on now, mister. You can't stop me. Because you're in a minefield. I'm going to tell you what I think. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:12:13 I think Grown Ups 2 is not a very good movie. Oh, Guy Montgomery, how dare you. I think the fact that we've watched it 51 times is ridiculous. Yeah. Do you want to know what I think? What do you think? I think you're a real piece of shit, Montgomery. I respect you, but I fucking hate you.
Starting point is 00:12:31 I respect you, but I do not like you one jot, not one iota, not one scintilla, not one atom of your being. Scintilla? There isn't a single atom of your being that I like. I respect all the atoms which comprise you, Tim. Yeah. But I do not like you i don't like what you're doing i don't like the way you carry yourself as a human being yeah you're a real piece of tim bet you're a real piece of work okay yes i don't know like
Starting point is 00:12:57 what are you gonna miss watching grown-ups too it's certainly not certainly not some people have asked that in earnest like uh like it's a serious question. Like, you know, because you do it every week and isn't it part of your life? Hey, guess what, guys? Oh, that's a bad example. I don't know how to pick an example without sounding hurtful to a particular set of people. But it's like chemo. It's like, I'm not going to miss chemo.
Starting point is 00:13:21 Yeah, but it's not chemo, is it? Of course it isn't. But I'm just saying. But that's the example. I'm just saying but that's the example I'm just saying fuck there's a beautiful night sky out here
Starting point is 00:13:28 can we go outside Tim oh I would love oh you mean now yeah oh fuck I'll have to carry the bits
Starting point is 00:13:35 the bits and the bobs we'll do that after yeah we're gonna go for such a good one well we might as well do some features while we're here
Starting point is 00:13:41 while we've got ya we've made up these dumb games that we play. The first one goes like this. P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p- Papa Dom's. Patty Schwartz. Party time.
Starting point is 00:14:10 It's Patty Schwartz party time. With Patrick Shriver. Sorry. Sorry about that. He's Patrick Schwarzenegger and he's with us in the desert. He's driving the van really fast. Patrick, watch out. There's a coyote in front of us.
Starting point is 00:14:24 Patrick, you'll murdered a coyote in cold blood. It's not called murdering when you're driving a camper van. It's called vehicular manslaughter. Well, whatever he did, he shot one of that coyote dead. What did you enjoy about Patrick Schwarzenegger's performance I enjoyed the vengeful look in his eye every time a
Starting point is 00:14:48 coyote was on screen in the movie cause to be fair when a coyote kills your grandma you got bones to pick a lot of people
Starting point is 00:14:56 don't know this about Patrick Schwarzenegger but both his grandparents both sides both sets both grandparents
Starting point is 00:15:03 on both sets four total grandparents were murdered. In separate incidents. By a vicious pack of coyotes. It was the craziest thing. It was the same coyotes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:11 But they... They had a real vendetta. The coyotes are big fans of divide and conquer. So they managed to basically create situations, scenarios, where they would get each one of Patty Schwartz's grandparents alone in a room and then just fucking devoured them while they were still alive. It's horrible to talk about. Yeah, it was pretty gruesome. It's very insensitive
Starting point is 00:15:31 for us to bring it up now. Anyway, he did really have a vengeful look in his eyes in all those scenes, didn't he? He was looking out for coyotes to kill. My real Paddy Schwartz party time is there's a wide shot which will last for about I don't know, three quarters of a second during the rendezvous
Starting point is 00:15:50 with the grown-ups at the quarry and it's when he does the like Taylor's doing the wolf whistle to summons all of his brothers
Starting point is 00:15:57 from the frat and Patty like chucks his arms up in the air and his arms seem to go up in time with the guys coming so like as the numbers
Starting point is 00:16:04 increase so do Patty's powers and that is displayed by Patty with his arms seem to go up in time with the guys coming. So as the numbers increase, so do Paddy's powers. And that is displayed by Paddy with his arms going up. Good work. Good work, Patrick. Good work, Tim. Good work, Tim. I was getting there, bro. Just give me a second.
Starting point is 00:16:18 Good work, Patrick. And yes, Tim, you too. Good work, Tim. Thanks, dude. I didn't really have a Padty schwartz party time this week i thought it'd be pretty funny if patrick schwarzenegger uh if he secretly went out and got tattoos of our faces yep love it on both of his butt cheeks love it but obviously that would be a funny thing that's probably not gonna happen that'd be funny if we did the reveal to patty
Starting point is 00:16:42 we we sent him a photo on twitter or something, being like, which will happen. Yeah. This was a few days away. This is happening really soon. We'd be like, hey, Paddy, guess what? Your face is tattooed to us, both of us. Full-grown men. How do you think you'd, like, how would he feel about that?
Starting point is 00:17:00 No, but imagine if he tweeted back and he was like, guess what, boys? Already got you. I got you covered. He had a tramp stamp of us. That'd be bitchin'. That would be dope. How do you think he's going to feel?
Starting point is 00:17:10 We're like reappropriating his face. I'm just going to explain what happened there. So we're in pitch blackness. Turn the strobe on. Yeah, so I've got a torch hanging up in the van. And I just need to check periodically we're not going to run out of batteries on the mic thing. And the torch occasionally will click into strobe mode,
Starting point is 00:17:32 and Monty is a big fan of it. I'm a big fan of the party. Look at this, when I knock it, when I hit it like that, oh, now we're at a party beach. Whenever we talk about Patrick Schwarzenegger, there should be a strobe light going. Oh, that's making me feel really ill.
Starting point is 00:17:44 I'm turning it off immediately. There we go. What waszenegger, there should be a strobe light going. Oh, that's making me feel really ill. I'm turning it off immediately. There we go. What was your shining light, bro? Well, I tuned out of a lot of the movie, bro. We basically just had a big chat while it was on. Like, we were looking at it. This feels like a... Because the CineFamily event will be...
Starting point is 00:18:00 We're sharing it with the fans, but this feels more like a sort of a personal... Oh, this is like a goodbye... Retrospective. It's like a goodbye yeah i didn't even think about it in those terms yeah you got it i my voice is fucked up at the moment that's right that was really that was in that movie Step Brothers or whatever Do you know I went to high school Oh no sorry I went to intermediate school Do you know I went to high school with Will Ferrell
Starting point is 00:18:32 I went to intermediate school with Hayley Westenra And she sung that on like the last day of school I didn't know that Yeah I was in a musical with Hayley Westenra There's a really interesting fact about you Hayley Westenra for all of People who don't know Our listeners who don't know who Hayley Westenra. There's a really interesting fact about you. Hayley Westenra, for all of our listeners who don't know who Hayley Westenra is, she's a very successful New Zealand opera singer.
Starting point is 00:18:51 She's a national treasure. They call it popera what she does. Yeah, just because she's young, though. She's singing opera. It's a pretty easy thing to do, isn't it? You just put a P in front of the word opera and suddenly it's a different word. It's popera. Popera.
Starting point is 00:19:03 It's funny the labels we all come up with, isn'tourri potpourri is a fun word yeah potpourri is a good smell there's a lot to be said about potpourri though because that's another different it's got to be the same thing potpourri i think you've just been i think you've just been mishearing potpourri oh really i think potpourri is a dish. My suspicion is you've been missing... What the fuck is that car doing out there, dude? It's got its... That's alright. ...headlights directly in on us.
Starting point is 00:19:31 No, it's just parking. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. Or going for a drive. Do you know what I would do if I owned a vehicle? Drive it. Drive it where, though? Dun, dun, dun.
Starting point is 00:19:41 Dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun. Roll up, roll up, roll up, roll up. Roll up to the mystery tour and roll up. It's an inspiration. Roll up to the mystery tour and the Steve Boosie mystery tour is coming to take you away. Coming to take you away. Take you today.
Starting point is 00:20:05 Guy, what you might have noticed, or maybe not, is that I skipped a syllable in there because one of our fans tweeted at me and said, why the fuck have you guys... Oh, no, it was on the Facebook. He goes, why have you never said the Steve Bussi mystery... Steve Bussi mystery tour. Yeah, like that. Roll it into one and then you don't have to force an extra syllable into the Beatles song. That's why it works.
Starting point is 00:20:26 And I don't think it works. Just for clarity, Tim, I don't think it works the way we do the theme song. But I appreciate you getting in touch, and we gave it a go. And now we know on our second to last one. Yeah. No, I'm telling you in general,
Starting point is 00:20:37 I think the theme song's terrible. Oh, I see the whole thing. Yeah. Oh. I enjoy singing it with you. Yeah. Anyway, Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour. Steve Buscemi has suffered an injury, as you all know.
Starting point is 00:20:50 Well, I took Paddy. I think you should. Yeah, yeah. He's left with 40% feeling in his body and his arms are permanently in the touchdown position. What could cause this very unique injury to... Can you see that light out there? Steve Buscemi. Yeah, I can see that light out there? Steve Buscemi. Yeah, I can see that light out there.
Starting point is 00:21:07 What the fuck is that? I don't know. Is that a hiker? That's really weird. That's a weird light. Because what we're looking at is the desert and a lot of rocks. No one should be out there. And far off in the distance is a torch.
Starting point is 00:21:22 A really bright light. And it's moving kind of strangely, like not walking. Someone's probably just going back to their car. Yeah, I'd say so. But it's kind of late to be out there. I was in the middle of speculating about what caused Steve Buscemi to suffer from this very unique injury that he's suffering from. I'm kind of freaking out about this bright light outside. I wouldn't worry about the bright light.
Starting point is 00:21:44 Okay. Oh my God, it just went out. Are you looking at it? It's changing color, dude. Yeah, I'm looking at it. It went red. It's a white light and it went red briefly. You're an idiot.
Starting point is 00:21:55 No, it did. It's someone walking with a torch. Okay, you're probably right. Let's continue as planned. It could be a UFO. We are in America. Yeah, boy. If I was an alien,
Starting point is 00:22:06 I would definitely go to America because you get the most press there. That's why all the aliens go to America. We watched Independence Day the other day. That was a funny movie. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:15 Anyway, the Steepie Steepie Mystery Tour. What caused Steepie Steepie to have this very unique injury? He was driving a scooter down to Venice Beach so he could have a beer with his old friend.
Starting point is 00:22:25 Uh-huh. A beer and a taco. You're not listening to me. You're just looking at this guy. I am listening to you, but it's two people, and they're here. They must be in that car that's behind us. Absolutely. Or they're park rangers coming to question what the fuck we're up to, in which case we're
Starting point is 00:22:37 in a bit of trouble, bro. No, we're not. No, they are going to a car. We are fine. Okay, we're good. Oh, they are going to that parked. We are fine. Okay, we're good. Oh, they are going to that parked car behind us. They're going to fuck off. Now we're really alone, guy.
Starting point is 00:22:51 Occam's Razor, bro. Now it's nice use of Occam's Razor, bro. Thanks, bro. You're totally right. That was the correct application and conclusion. Steve Buscemi is on his scooter going down to meet a friend for a beer and a taco at Venice Beach. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:07 He's driving the scooter pretty quickly, too quickly, if you want my honest opinion about it. And he goes careening in a comical fashion right through a red light,
Starting point is 00:23:20 right through a volleyball game on the beach. He's arrived at the beach now, right out into the ocean just just blindly driving a scooter into the ocean the scooter stops obviously as as anything that hits a body of water when it's in motion will do sure you know i was once riding my bikes uh my bike back home from school with my friend john o'gould and he turned to me and he said shout out to john and he turned to me and he said quick shout out to Jono and he turned to me
Starting point is 00:23:45 and he said do you think I can ride this bike across that pond and there was like a full is Jono Gould Jesus and there was like a full 30 metre pond to our right
Starting point is 00:23:53 and I was like no and he's like I'll bet you 10 bucks I can and and turned his bike and rode into the pond
Starting point is 00:24:00 and and made it out about 2 metres before it just stopped and he just shit jono went top thing off his bike into the into the water jono's a fucking lawyer now dude that's a concern he's not a bright lad it's a pretty stupid thing to do bad at physics good at law anyway yeah stevie stevie pretty much did that and uh and a shark came and it didn't bite him
Starting point is 00:24:22 obviously but it just nudged him really like powerfully because the water is the shark's natural environment. Nudged him powerfully. Yeah, it was a powerful nudge. That's a very interesting verb and adverb. That was a very interesting injury. Yeah. Yeah. That's not what you'd expect to happen.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Nah, dude. A lot of traffic through this part of town. Yeah, it's still not that late, even though it's really dark here in California because it's winter. It's quarter past nine, so people will be doing their thing. Shout out to... Anyway, hey, thanks for the Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour.
Starting point is 00:24:53 Shark attack, but not in the way that you know it. A powerful nudge. Ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. Yeah, and then it was... Whatever happens to him happens. Yeah. As a result of riding his scooter too fast and blindly through a red light on Venus.
Starting point is 00:25:09 Yeah, well, there wasn't a lot of sort of cohesion to the Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour this week, but that's what you get. Sometimes you open up the oven and the bread's not cooked. You go, that dog ain't going, huh. You shouldn't have put the dog in the oven. Get the dog out of the oven. Do you reckon that's how hot dogs got oven. Get the dog out of the oven. Do you reckon that's how hot dogs got invented? Get the dog out of the oven.
Starting point is 00:25:28 My parents are coming over for dinner. Someone put a dog in the oven accidentally. No, dogs love weird spaces. So do cats, right? So a dog jumped in an oven. Owner didn't realize the door shut behind him. That's a hot dog. He turns on the oven to preheat it to make a casserole.
Starting point is 00:25:44 If you turn on an oven, you're going to notice if there's an animal inside the oven. No, man, not if your light's broken, which it was this time. For the inventor of the hot dog. Yeah. Wow, we're covering a lot of ground tonight, Tim. We're covering a lot of ground. Far and wide. That is our reach.
Starting point is 00:25:59 Far and wide. You know, my shining light was the blue paint gag that happens to Principal Tardio at the school. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Oh, the one where he gets dumped on him from above? No, no, no, the footprints. But just when the paint came out of the car. They went to a lot of trouble for that gag.
Starting point is 00:26:15 That's a funny gag. Yeah. You know. Okay, cool, man. You've got to respect that. Cool, man. I dig it. I feel like I'm running out of conversation about grown-ups, too.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Yeah, no, fair enough. I'll give you my shining light. Let me pick up that ball which you've so ably run with for the last few yards. I've been running down the rugby field with a ball. I thought you were an NFL man. Trying to score. Did you change coats? Trying to score a try.
Starting point is 00:26:39 Good man. What a good man. So my shining light is that Brayden Higgins is secretly a fucking good actor, man. Yeah, you were really loving Brayden Higgins during this watch. I really enjoyed his performance. You were yelling it. You were shouting out about Brayden Higgins. Oh, look, I was screaming it from the rooftops.
Starting point is 00:26:54 Brayden Higgins is a good-ass actor. The people need to know about Brayden Higgins. I'm going to tell everyone I meet in Hollywood to hire Brayden Higgins. And they won't know who I'm talking about because it's not his name. Of course they won't. But he's in Hunger Games and everyone tells me he's great in there.
Starting point is 00:27:09 But he's a dick. Do you know his name? I mean his character in Hunger Games is a dick. Do I know his name? Yeah. No, dude. No, I'd be saying it
Starting point is 00:27:17 if I knew it. Neither do I. As far as I know, he's just a guy called Brayden Higgins. He's Brayden Higgins. Yeah. And he's a warlock.
Starting point is 00:27:23 I'm really scared that the following thing's gonna happen okay tell me what tell me what you're scared about we're gonna end the podcast
Starting point is 00:27:31 and we're gonna go for a wander in the desert with a torch because it's so attractive that seems like such a cool thing to do and we're gonna fucking die out there
Starting point is 00:27:40 that's obviously what we're gonna do we're not gonna die I'm really good with coyotes. Okay. And scorpions and whatever other
Starting point is 00:27:48 things they have here. Nah, I don't reckon we'll run into any scorpions. Well, it's hard to say. Scorpions are only little. You said you were going to tuck your socks into your pants.
Starting point is 00:27:56 Are you going to do that? That's when I thought it was a real threat. What? I'm not convinced it is. Scorpions are a real threat. Yeah, but we'll be chucking a light around.
Starting point is 00:28:03 Won't they scurry? No, they might be attracted to the light. Nah, not scorpions. They're fraidy cats. What do you think would be a good... Do you know if you pour alcohol on a scorpion, it will sting itself to death? So if we, what, just go walking around with a bear? Not bear.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Bear's not strong enough. But if you have a spirit, if you've got something like whiskey or vodka, and you pour it on a scorpion, it will kill itself by st stinging itself it goes crazy i didn't know that the more you know eh it's a good fact we should have bought some vodka so that we could kill scorpions i'm not saying it's kind of weird when you string it together but i didn't come out of the desert to kill scorpions i came out of the desert to conquer grown-ups too well we did we did that. For sure. Guy, I feel like this is a good place to leave it. I feel like if these were our last words before we go out into the desert for our untimely death, I'm happy with the life I've led.
Starting point is 00:28:55 Yeah. I'm sad for the people I'd be leaving behind, but they'll be okay. They're all strong people. I'd like to thank grown-ups too for bringing us to the desert. Yeah. I think that was a very good thing of grown-ups too to do, to Ups 2 for bringing us to the desert. Yeah. I think that was a very good thing of Grown Ups 2 to do.
Starting point is 00:29:07 Yeah. To host us out here. Thanks peeps. You know, it's a very expensive movie that we've watched a lot of times and now we're going to go
Starting point is 00:29:17 for a walk in the desert. Possibly die. So thanks very much for listening. We're not going to die. We might though. We've got muesli bars. Well that changes everything. We're definitely not going to die. We might, though. We've got muesli bars. Well, that changes everything.
Starting point is 00:29:27 We're definitely not going to die of malnutrition. No, I'd never suggest... Something's going to kill us. Nothing's going to kill us. What? Shit. Uh-oh. I think I broke the torch. Oh, no, I did break the torch.
Starting point is 00:29:38 Damn it. That's really a game changer. You broke the cord it's attached to. Bugger. Anyway, we've been the worst idea of all time And we'll catch it Truly living up to our name We'll catch it
Starting point is 00:29:48 Cinefamily Or never Yeah As the case may be Yeah Thank you very much for listening Yeah thank Hey
Starting point is 00:29:55 Thank you for listening Yeah Sincerely like What are you up to? Uh You can follow us on Facebook Don't though Don't watch the movie Don't follow us For the love't though don't watch the movie
Starting point is 00:30:06 don't follow us for the love of god don't watch the movie don't listen to this podcast just go about your business pretend we're not in the room yeah just have a normal life
Starting point is 00:30:14 okay alright we love you guys buh bye Love every day. Cause before you know it, your precious time slips away. Beautiful. Own each step with Peloton. From their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so.
Starting point is 00:30:44 If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes, led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner. Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.