The Worst Idea Of All Time - Replay S01E52: Finale?

Episode Date: April 6, 2024

Please enjoy this victory lap of Season One episodes as we celebrate 10 years of The Worst Idea of All Time. New episodes posting on our Substack.Original Description:Guy and Tim have finally made it.... It's the last viewing of Grown Ups 2, exactly one year after they started. Recorded live in front of a soldout CineFamily crowd on Sunset in Los Angeles, California. After a public viewing of the movie the lads have finally seen the backend of the movie. What ensues is an elated, nonsensical final romp through a film that's been a part of the boys' life for a long time. It's time to say goodbye. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Well, what is there to say before this? This was and will always be, I think, one of the greatest nights of my life. The culmination of a year of hard work that no one asked for. This felt like, and I think I'd achieved things, small things in my career to this point, but this was the most overwhelmed I've ever felt at this point. I remember I was actually, I was quite overawed by having a live audience of Americans,
Starting point is 00:00:37 having sold out this beautiful theatre. And I remember Tim really rising to the occasion and my memory was not faulty Tim is so funny in this episode and I'm also there and I'm hanging on but um yeah this is I'm just I've had such a wonderful time revisiting all of this I never thought I would do it and basically all I am now is in the way of what we've all been waiting for. The end. Shut it down. Shut it down. He and every mob.
Starting point is 00:01:25 Shut it down. Shut it down. Get rid of it. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the worst idea. I said get rid of it! Welcome to the worst idea of all time. My name is Tim Batt. My name is Guy Montgomery.
Starting point is 00:01:39 And we have just watched Grown Ups 2 for the 52nd time. Okay. Okay. Okay. We've got a lot to get through, so please hold your applause. For those of you who are joining us on the internet, we're coming to you live from a real hub here in Los Angeles, California. This is the Cinefamily on Fairfax and Thur. It's a pleasure to be with you tonight.
Starting point is 00:02:07 My name is Timothy and this is my friend Mr. Montgomery. Yes, and we will not be speaking like this for very long at all. However, we'll keep it up as damn well long as we can. I tell you what, Timothy, I'm fairly finished with it right about now. Okay, fair enough. So this is probably a good time to tell you at the end of the podcast that, guess what what everybody? We're from Sony Pictures, marketing and publicity.
Starting point is 00:02:32 Oh! And on behalf of all of us at Sony Pictures, I'd like to say, gotcha! Yeah! Welcome to the second cinema release of Grown Ups 2. We're going to be rolling it out through the entire world. Why do you think there are cameras here? We're filming you sons of bitches, all right? You're a test audience and you like what we've got.
Starting point is 00:02:57 We're working on a second edit. We wanted to see which kicks flied and which ones sunk. It turns out they're all... What we have built is potentially It turns out they're all fetish. What we have built is potentially the funniest goddamn movie of all time. I'm a little worried to release it for a second run because in its first cinema run, we killed 37 people in the nation of America. We don't talk about that on camera, Tim. Not a lot, not often.
Starting point is 00:03:25 Yeah, virtually never. Lawsuits not often. Yeah, virtually never. Lawsuits and whatnot. Yeah, that's right. Your 37 bodies, they're difficult to hide, I'll tell you that. The interesting thing about 37 people dying is, and I don't know 100%, What is interesting about it? Well, I'm pretty sure it's a prime number. No one's corrected you, so I think you're onto something, Tim. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:03:46 That's the largest prime number mass killing in cinema history. That's the power of grown-ups, too. Yeah, a lot of people said you couldn't top two. Guess what, idiots? All right. Listen, fool listening. It's Guy and I speaking to you It's Timbo here
Starting point is 00:04:07 I've got the radio experience I've got the silky smooth voice And over here you've got Monty Versatile and excited to be here Welcome to the Worst Idea of All Time podcast Bloody good to have you The number 1-800-Worst-Idea-of-All-Time
Starting point is 00:04:21 The fax 1-900-Worst-Idea-of-All-Time The email Worst idea of all time The facts 1900 Worst idea of all time The email Worst at Idea of all time Dot AOL Dot AOL
Starting point is 00:04:34 Dot podcast If you guys want tickets To see Dixie's Midnight Runners This weekend You're shit out of luck But I'll tell you what REO Speedwagon
Starting point is 00:04:42 In your lounge It's up for grabs. .com is our website. We're doing a lot of fucking around, but the simple truth is, Monty, we fucking did it, dude! High five! One year of grown-ups, too. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:05:02 I couldn't be more delighted to see the arse end of this film. I'm like, there's a real genuine chemical feeling of elation floating around my brain right now that I am struggling to articulate in a human language. What you are feeling is the weight of... Can I try Spanish? Muy bueno.
Starting point is 00:05:22 Muy bueno. Very good That is sort of an abridged version of How I was going to describe your feeling But what it does really boil down to at this point And I can speak from experience to him Is muy bueno Which for the unfamiliar in the audience
Starting point is 00:05:39 Is Spanish for Is okay, I think You're so astute And so good at languages, Monty. Do you know what I'm going to do? Dive right in. Oh, I need to keep track of how long we're talking as well.
Starting point is 00:05:51 Tim bought a new watch. He doesn't need to keep track. It really doesn't matter. He just wants you to know about it. I've got a watch that's got all the buttons on it. It's got a calculator into it and shit, but I'm just not quite used to it yet.
Starting point is 00:06:03 Did you buy that in the past? Like, really far back in the past? Oh, who will be like... Oh, wait, that's the calculator bit. It's cool. It's easy to use too, right? It's just like a real basic layout. It's so much easier than these pesky smartphones we keep getting dealt.
Starting point is 00:06:24 So the first thing we've got to address is all of the things we've got to address. And the first one I want to tackle... I think a great time to start is right now, Tim. Wow. I want to kick off with Shining Light. I think this is a great time to start the podcast. So... Do you want me to take the lead on this one?
Starting point is 00:06:44 I don't want to talk about it. Okay. My shining light for the 50 second viewing consists of four words. Whoa! Chris, rock, cargo, pants. I never noticed it before, but that dude is rocking some straight up desert camel coloured cargo pants, full length. They're not three quarters. They're not zip offs.
Starting point is 00:07:10 They are the real fucking deal. The guy is doing a reasonably industrial job. He's got to stay practical. He's got to hold things. He's got to hold different things in different pockets. What provides more options than a pair of cargo pants? Fucking nothing. Legitimately, cargo pants are, if you've got things you've got to carry
Starting point is 00:07:27 and for some reason it's got to be in your pants and not in your hands, cargo's are your number one choice. In fact, I feel like as good as Chris Rock is at stand-up and acting, which we didn't really see on display in the movie, but I've seen in others, I feel like if we had Chris Rock cargo pants, not only is it a great hashtag, but I feel like it's an even better company
Starting point is 00:07:51 I would buy those pants. Those are trousers I'm shelling out for. Unless you trademark this tomorrow, Tim, you've just given away a million dollars, so congratulations. I do it all the time. There's no off position to the genius switch. You know, the big sales pitch on the cargo pants is, how many hands do you have, Tim?
Starting point is 00:08:11 I'm just a man. I have but dos hands. That's right. All right. So imagine if hands were pockets, right, and a regular pair of pants. How many hands do they have? Wait, you've already lost me.
Starting point is 00:08:24 Two? Correct. Two? Correct, two. Imagine if your pants had four hands. What? You're now buying cargo pants, friend. Hold on, what are you saying? Hey, what? My pants?
Starting point is 00:08:40 I'm just... So each pocket has two hands. Let's not drill into it. It's not a strong argument. They've got half a dozen hands. It's pretty good. Like, what I'm saying is if pockets were hands... Yes.
Starting point is 00:08:53 Cargo pants have four hands. Or more. Two back pockets, six hands. I'm underestimating cargo pants. Because I'm wearing jeans right now, okay? That's one hand. Correct. That's one hand.
Starting point is 00:09:09 So we've got two already. Yeah. We're dealing with another one down there, and you know that shit's deep and fat. You're explaining something, are you? Yeah, it's a bigger hand. So we've got two, three, four. Times two is eight.
Starting point is 00:09:22 Plus two is ten. You're dealing with ten hands on a human. Okay. That's a lot of shit going on. That is a mighty big human. Did you have a shining light on this watch, Guy? I'm pretty sure I told you to remind me of several. What did I tell you, Tim?
Starting point is 00:09:41 Before I bring that up, let me tell you about the time when I was in Stewart Island No I'm trying to help you out dude No no no I'm trying to buy you time You're trying to buy you time to buy me time No one's buying
Starting point is 00:09:56 It's not my responsibility to remember your shining lights on the last fucking episode dude Okay Like step up to the plate bro Shining lights You're in the world series. The movie looks really good on a big screen. I'll give it that. I feel like maybe we've got it wrong the whole time.
Starting point is 00:10:18 No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. I can't possibly. Maybe. Maybe we've horribly misread the situation. I can't agree with that. No, no, no, no, no. I can't possibly. Maybe. Maybe we've horribly misread the situation. I can't agree with that. No, no, no, sir. No, sir.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Over the last. Sir, I say no. Sir. There's something. I say to you, sir. There is something very forgiving about being in a theatre, particularly with the amount of very large physical gags that this movie presents, and I recognise that.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Hey, guess what, you pieces of shit? You laughed at the bit where they all jumped off Suicide 35 off the top rock, 35 feet above the water. My mum told me that joke when she was pregnant with me. You laughed at that. Four grown comedic men jumping off a cliff into water, injuring themselves significantly, predominantly in the genitalia.
Starting point is 00:11:03 You guys loved it. And we loved it too, the first time we saw it. Yeah, yeah i was gonna stick up for them i think that's pretty funny almost the whole way through like it's a good physical gag it's funny watching it with this many people yeah there are some jokes that you hear and you've you've got weighted expectations on them i was relieved to hear people laughing at the Suicide 35 stuff. There were some interesting points where you guys... Do you know what? This has turned into a magnifying glass on you. You thought it was going to be a Q&A against Tim and Monty?
Starting point is 00:11:34 You guys are fucking weird, man. Guess what, LA? We came here to fuck your shit up. You guys got some problems? We'd like to talk about them. Here's one. I had to get some'd like to talk about them. Here's one. I had to get some quarters today to do my laundry. I had to go to a goddamn bank.
Starting point is 00:11:52 What is up with your racial segregation, LA? I hate to get too real with you on the last episode, but it was a pretty real situation at Bank of America. This is pretty real. Firstly, I almost threw up because of how hungover I was. And that's semi-relevant to the point, by which I mean not at all. We should probably move forward from this
Starting point is 00:12:14 anecdote. I don't think it relates to the movie. You're good at reading a room, Tim, and I've always said that about you. You've got a real sense for how everyone's doing. That's you. Here's Tim in a room. Yeah, I can feel that. It's a real room full of real people.
Starting point is 00:12:29 Well, I mean... This is different for us. You've got to be aware of that. The weird thing is that somewhere in the distance I can hear a... There's a lot of gears. It's like a small truck or a bus or something? Nope,
Starting point is 00:12:45 you can't hear that. I can hear it. It's like, no, hold on. Everyone shut up for a second. Shut up, guy. Roll up
Starting point is 00:13:00 for the mystery tour, roll up for the Mystery Tour and Roll up, roll up for the Mystery Tour and The Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour is coming to take you away Coming to take you away Take you today Ah, you son of a bitch, Timbett. I did not see you driving that bus.
Starting point is 00:13:31 I'm in the front seat, man. Okay, here we go. Here it is. Here we're at. I'm going to pass it over to you. Okay, so this is where we're at. We're at the driver's test, as you all saw. I mean, how many of you have seen this scene before in the movie? How many of you know what we're talking about?
Starting point is 00:13:49 Make some noise Who just found out what it looks like when Steve Buscemi explains what's wrong with him? Make some noise That's a fine time Well I'm not wasting time I'm just excited for these people Glad for your audience Montgomery I'm working my tail off I'm just excited for these people. What for your audience, Montgomery?
Starting point is 00:14:07 I'm working my tail off up here. All right. Doesn't look like much, but I'm sweating jokes up here. Okay. I'm hemorrhaging jokes. Let's go. I'm losing a lot of jokes up here. I haven't heard a single one. Make me laugh, funny man.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Make me laugh. This is twice as terrifying as before. Because we were together. You've got no allies anymore You're all alone On the battlefield of grown-ups too There he was 2015 A lone Kiwi lad
Starting point is 00:14:38 Brought up in the South Island And suddenly thrust into an environment He's not equipped or experienced in He's in Hollywood folks He's in Los Angeles, California. Not only is the weather throwing him off, because apparently it's winter, but fucking tell the weather that. It's like 30 goddamn degrees here. But everything he thought was true about this country is false.
Starting point is 00:15:01 The people are lovely and genuine. The air is breathable and the water very absorbable. Guy Montgomery struggling for a thread to grab onto in front of a theatre of 170
Starting point is 00:15:18 of his nearest and dearest. Trying to figure out the Steve Buscemi mystery tour. If my name isn't Julia Andrews, I'll be damned. So, there I was. Los Angeles, California. Everything on the line.
Starting point is 00:15:46 No, in all seriousness, Tim, the reason I'm so nervous about this is this is the last Steve Buscemi mystery tour, a.k.a. the last roll of the dice. Make it a goodie. This is pretty much our last gosh-dilly-darn opportunity to grab onto something and say, this is exactly what happened to Steve Buscemi
Starting point is 00:16:02 before the curtain is pulled back and we find out what caused this freaky motherfucking injury. I'm hearing a lot of padding and I'm hearing a lot of pronouns as us and I'd like to remind you, you are alone on this stage right now. So let's make it happen, Monty.
Starting point is 00:16:17 A big fan of collective pronouns. Bring it together. Little known fact. Here we go. Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour, take Take? Well, it's not 52 because we're still halfway through the go. Steve Buscemi mystery tour take... Take? Well, it's not 52 because we're still halfway through the podcast. Steve Buscemi works at a trampoline store. Secondhand trampoline store. He's peddling pretty dodgy trampolines, okay?
Starting point is 00:16:38 Some of this in padding at the end. Some of them are missing paddings on the side. It's not important. What's important is just open up next door is the Walmart of trampoline stores, a.k.a. Mr. Walls. Mr. Walls deals exclusively in trampolines which have those safety walls around them. Nice. Guess what?
Starting point is 00:16:57 It's not so good for business over at Mr. Buscemi's house. Hold on for a second. What? Well, it's not so good for business over at old Buscemi's house. That's what I'd heard. Yeah. I told you. Just before.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Pretty much what's happened here is Steve Buscemi's involved in a last gasp, absolutely desperate sales pitch to a wealthy family who have just moved into the neighbourhood. Okay, we've got a lot happening so far. I think I'm there. Yep, let's keep going. Are you with me? Because you asked a lot of me, and if you can't keep up with the details,
Starting point is 00:17:35 I don't know what to do. Steve Buscemi's got a trampoline company, but specifically the kind that has the shielding. Second-hand trampolines, idiot. Oh, second-hand. Okay, right, all right. And their family's approach. You'll catch up.
Starting point is 00:17:47 Listen back to it. Head it up. Here we go. So pretty much what's happened is Steve Buscemi's house is going into foreclosure. The whole business is shutting down. It's very dark. Unless he can sell this one trampoline. Like one specific trampoline or a model of trampoline?
Starting point is 00:18:02 He's just got to sell a trampoline. Like the ultimate. He's old Gil. Steve Buscemi is played by old Gil. That's a Simpsons reference. Go fuck yourself Los Angeles. That was very funny.
Starting point is 00:18:18 Please continue. Oh boy. If I don't sell this trampoline I guess I'm going to lose my children. That's not a very good old guilt. It's in the ballpark. So anyway, pretty much what happens is Steve Buscemi gets so involved in the sales pitch, he climbs aboard the trampoline, starts bouncing around saying, hey, look what I can do.
Starting point is 00:18:39 He does a sit jump into a front flop, into a back flop onto his feet. The family say that's not bad. Steve Buscemi says you ain't seen nothing yet. He clicks his fingers. The whole AV department blows up and baby you just ain't seen nothing yet. That's where I was hoping this was going.
Starting point is 00:18:58 It was a very effective marketing tool. Very cool. Okay. Love that. He was pulling out all the stars. I'm Lovitzing it. Yeah. John Lovitz walks in. Stevie Simi has a panic attack. Tries to do a backflip.
Starting point is 00:19:10 Absolutely lands in between two of the springs on the outer rim without a pad. Jesus. His head between them. Oh, my God. He rocks backwards in his grave, I suppose. We're talking about Chris Rock? No. Chris Rock's not involved. Oh, Wiley. He's having a spa. We're talking about Chris Rock? No, Chris Rock's not involved.
Starting point is 00:19:25 Oh, Wiley. He's having a spa. We're talking about Wiley. Yeah, yeah. See, we've seen his head's in between two springs. He breaks his back. Yeah. His arms are sort of thrust into a position
Starting point is 00:19:34 that they're forced into by what is essentially rigor mortis. He's later revived by one of those reviving machines. Okay. Don't you give me plausibility problems. I'm nearly finished. You're doing really well. I'm finished. That's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:19:54 I'm very happy that that's the last one. That was really good. I'm proud of you, man. I got a good feeling about it. I'm really proud of you. Do you want to... Talk? Not really. I don't know about talking. Do you want to talk about it. I'm really proud of you. Do you want to talk? Not really.
Starting point is 00:20:07 I don't know about talking. Do you want to talk about it? Well, there was something else I had in mind. If you don't mind. I was going to light a couple of candles, put some Barry White on and just gently, just hold on. I'm not talking. Shh.
Starting point is 00:20:21 Just shut up for a second. Just let me do this. Okay? A papa. Papa. Papa. Are you kidding? Paddy Schwartz Party time
Starting point is 00:20:55 It's the Paddy Schwartz party time It's Paddy Schwartz He's riding on a motorbike He's giving out flannels You're cleaning your face Paddy Schwartz With Paddy Schwartz He's in the tattoo parlor getting pictures of her face on his dick.
Starting point is 00:21:10 Okay. All right. So here's the fucked up thing that we haven't talked about on the podcast yet. Here's the real life portion of the Patti Schwartz party time. Here's the real life portion of the Party Schwartz Party time. We got, immediately before we came here to the venue, tattoos of Patrick Schwarzenegger's face, not how it is now, but how it is in the movie,
Starting point is 00:21:38 in stencil form, accompanied by a Latin interpretation of REO Speedwagon's lyrics for Live Every Moment. And Love Every Day. That sounds kind of insane when you lay it out like that all at once. But in my mind it makes perfect sense. It sounds weird when you say it
Starting point is 00:21:50 to someone at breakfast. That's when it sounds most weird. Hey. Good morning. Hey. A good day to you. Buenos dias.
Starting point is 00:22:03 So you're eating some muesli there? How's that? Muy bueno. Gracias. Are you Spanish or local? Si. Espanol.
Starting point is 00:22:13 Spanish local. Soy Juan. Anyway... Me llamo es Juan. Juan. Si. My name is Juan. Juan? Yes. I don't know what you're doing in my kitchen but I guess while I've got you I'll show you this.
Starting point is 00:22:43 Oh! Mucho gusto, Paddy Yes, yes, that's right It's a tattoo of Patrick Schwarzenegger With a Latin translation of an REO Alto Cinco It's kind of like high five, I think Alto means up, though So it's like up five Well, what happened is you made Juan such a weird guy
Starting point is 00:23:03 Oh, Jesus Yes That it was suddenly normal for me to show you Up five. Well, what happened is you made Juan such a weird guy. Oh, Jesus. Yes. That it was suddenly normal for me to show you my Patrick Schwarzenegger tattoo at breakfast. That's what happened. It was fun. You would like an enchilada? I'm not here with Juan. I'm here with Tim.
Starting point is 00:23:25 And we're on the same fucking team. Here he is. He's back. He's ready for action. What was your Patty Schwartz party time? No, hold on. Fuck off. Who cares?
Starting point is 00:23:35 Shut up for a second. Hold on. Hey, take one of those jandals off and ram them down your sofa, guy. Guess what? I'll take them both off, friend. They're done. They're off. I'm barefoot now.
Starting point is 00:23:44 I'm exposed because I want to get exposed with sofa, guy. Guess what? I'll take them both off, friend. They're done. They're off. I'm barefoot now. I'm exposed because I want to get exposed with you, guy. I'm going to flit over the Patty Schwartz party time so we can get to some real heavy shit because that's what I desire.
Starting point is 00:23:55 My Patty Schwartz party time on this, the final one, 50 second viewing of the movie was that the dude loves checked materials. There are checked shorts. There are checked shirts.
Starting point is 00:24:05 They're on at different parts of the movies. He's not wearing them together. He just loves squares happening on and about his body. He loves checks, but not too much. He doesn't love punching them. No. He just loves wearing them. That's right.
Starting point is 00:24:21 He loves tartan. He loves other varieties of checks. So here's the question that i was trying to boil down to like how's your new watch where jesus that tattoos actually bring me a bit of grief because it's very new and it's very tender i'm gonna adjust my legs a little bit my lady legs like i guess my question is alright here's my first question
Starting point is 00:24:48 could you have foreseen this? us being in America doing the last ebb when we started like take yourself back to one year ago this question to me Tim sounds like a man running bare assed and afraid
Starting point is 00:25:04 from Patrick Schwarzenegger Yes. Sounds like a man running bare-assed and afraid. From Patrick Schwarzenegger arriving at a party. Tell me more. The way you're talking to me sounds like you were having drinks at your sister-in-law's house, and then Patrick Schwarzenegger came around with a bottle of gin, and you said, oh, it's lovely to meet you. I've got to go. I'm not sure I am on board with what you said.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Tell me what the fuck you enjoyed about Patrick Schwarzenegger in the movie just watched or get off the stage. Did I not say Cheeks? Was Cheeks an unacceptable answer to you? No, I just forgot. Yeah. I thought that was what would happen.
Starting point is 00:25:52 See folks, the thing is, everyone in the cinema is going, what a bunch of douchebags. I can totally watch the movie without drinking six beers. But the thing is, we've seen it literally 51 times before tonight. Yeah, two now.
Starting point is 00:26:09 In the last 12 months, and that is really saying something. So don't judge us. Tim, I've got to ask you. Judge yourselves. Did you at any point while we were watching the movie tonight feel guilty about making a room full of people watch the movie tonight? Kind of, yeah. Mainly, like, the bit where it really kicks into
Starting point is 00:26:25 high guilt gear is about three quarters of the way through when you sort of to be honest, is anything after when Keithy breaks his leg? Because that's the bit where the movie, and funnily enough, that's the halfway point and we know that because we mapped out exactly in the film where we knew 50% was.
Starting point is 00:26:42 But when Keithy displays some ability in football, you're like wow, it only took us an hour but finally we have a thread to follow. Like, finally there's some plot and shit and then it gets destroyed immediately
Starting point is 00:26:58 in the same fucking scene by his dad who breaks his leg. Do you know what also gets me is if I was a football coach and I just saw a kid who was kicking for his first time like that, I would not be so blasé about the injury. Yeah? I'd walk up to Adam Sandler
Starting point is 00:27:14 and say, hey, dude, you got some real parenting issues. Your son's got potential. We'll pay for his health insurance. That being said, you're a psychopath and I think you are due a visit from some government officials because, you're a psychopath and I think you are due a visit from some government officials because, you know, the feds don't like how you parent. Which you can take one of two ways.
Starting point is 00:27:32 Number one, Adam Sandler's a bad dad. Number two, the government's a bad government. It's up to you. The truth lies somewhere in the middle. I don't want to cut off the conservatives to this podcast. I know they're thick and strong. We've got a lot of red voters. We've got a lot of red voters. We've got a lot of Mitt Romney
Starting point is 00:27:48 types. We've got a lot of John McCain voters in our audience. Mitt Romney is actually a very big fan of the podcast. I got a letter from Mitt this morning. Is that so? Dad, Tim and Guy, keep up the good work.
Starting point is 00:28:03 If you ever want to come over for dinner, you're more than welcome. Yeah. I have 13 wives. It was a very frank, very honest letter from Milt. Or Mitt. I'll be honest with you, I didn't think you knew who Mitt Romney was,
Starting point is 00:28:17 but you clearly have shown yourself to me. However you pronounce it. You're a better participant in American politics than I gave you credit for. He's not a bad guy. He's just an idiot. You keep trying to get away from the core truth of what's happening tonight, guy.
Starting point is 00:28:32 Like, I want to know your feelings. I want to know... Like, tell me what it feels to be in front of 170, 50, 20. It'll go down every time. Because we've got to head towards the truth with that there is 23 people in front of us right now making a lot of noise but how do you feel being in front of
Starting point is 00:28:53 very rowdy 13 we're in we're in Los Angeles, California I'm pretty sure we're in Hollywood Los Angeles, California my sense of direction isn't great but I think we're in Hollywood right now like
Starting point is 00:29:04 what are your thoughts? How do you feel about that? It's pretty good to be here. Yeah? These chairs aren't as comfortable as your couch. Okay. Okay. But.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Okay. But I've got to say, it's pretty wonderful to have people actually listening, you know, in real time to what we're saying. You know what? I don't like it. I'm not a fan. If I had to pick between being alone in the lounge and this, I'm going to go lounge every time.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Tell me why. In the lounge, there's food, there's natural light, there's no people watching me. I'm usually looking pretty strong at you, boy. Yeah. I'm eyeballing the shit out of you. Oh, okay. Thinking how I can get in there. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:29:59 Make myself comfy. Maybe see what it feels like to be Tim Bap for a little while. Whoa, you're going in deep, huh? Yeah, real deep. As physically deep as is possible for another human climbing into the body of another human. It's like comic book territory where you take it over me, over my skin.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Sorry, boy, what were you saying? You've really thrown me for a... Well, depending on what country you're from, either a curveball or a six. It's a ball sport either way, and I'm very confused. Slightly aroused. I prefer my lounge because there's, like...
Starting point is 00:30:41 There's couches there. There are couches. We just watched the movie in a couch. I know. I know. I like the safety of biscuits being really close to me. And in America... You are aware a biscuit in America is a...
Starting point is 00:31:03 Scon. It's a sweet scone. But only in the South. We don't usually have sweet Scon. It's a sweet scone. But only in the South. We don't usually have sweet scone. It's a cookie here. Okay. Okay, let me rephrase. Let me rephrase.
Starting point is 00:31:11 The thing is, when I'm at home, I know cookies are surrounding me, and that brings me a lot of joy. That's much more obvious to me now. I'm freaking out right now because I can't see a single cookie on this. I see a DJ booth, and I see a big screen behind us. I can't see a single cookie on this. I see a DJ booth and I see a big screen behind us. I can't see a single cookie. I see potential. I see Blaze Pizza.
Starting point is 00:31:34 That's an imitation of Patrick Schwarzenegger whenever he heard about Blaze Pizza. I don't know why we're talking about them now. We swore ourselves off those bastards. Can I talk about Shiri Oteri real quick? Yeah, you can. Because I felt like in this particular watch, she really came out to play.
Starting point is 00:31:51 I feel like Shiri Oteri was here for keeps. She was playing marbles. Did you not? And she was losing marbles. She's lost her marbles. Shiri Oteri's insane. But a good actor. Shiri Oteri, I was actually,
Starting point is 00:32:06 you were speaking about this earlier, I felt somewhat disappointed, I think, in the audience reaction to Sherry O'Terry's opening scene with Selma Hayek. I don't know what's been happening the last year, but I do know that I've, for whatever reason, associated that scene with sort of laughter. It didn't happen tonight.
Starting point is 00:32:29 Legitimately, that was probably the biggest scene in the movie before we got to the party scene, which, as we know, is a total throwaway. That whole third act, we can write it off. Not the biggest scene. But the interaction between Salma Hayek and Terry O'Sherry, the crowd... And Terry O'Sherry. The crowd. And Terry O'Meary.
Starting point is 00:32:50 And Cinefamily tonight on this, the 7th, 18th? The 17th. 18th of February. The year of our Lord 2015. You didn't go for it. You were rats who smelt the cheese and went, I see what's happening here. Go fuck yourself. And I admire that about this crowd,
Starting point is 00:33:04 but I also am confused by it because I thought that was a funny scene. I've lost all perspective, clearly, because I've seen the movie too many times. But I legitimately thought that Summer Hayek and Terry O'Sherry's pairing was... Good. I thought it was entertaining.
Starting point is 00:33:18 It's too bad they cut all of Terry O'Sherry and Summer Hayek's scenes from the movie because I agree, I thought they really popped off. I thought they were good tonight, right? Yeah. Right? What I think, Tim, is that we're in way over our heads here.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Oh, shit. Okay, we're pretty good, too. What more do we need to cover? Have we done all of the things? I don't know. Hold on. Did you do a shining light? No.
Starting point is 00:33:47 Did he? This is so much better with a crowd because I don't have to rack my brain remembering. He was supposed to remind him. Here I am. You've been doing it.
Starting point is 00:33:58 Stalling this whole fucking time. Guess what, guys? Like an asshole. Here we have it. There we are. There we were. Guess what, guy? Like an asshole. Here we have it. There we are. Guy, there we were. Los Angeles, California, on the final watch,
Starting point is 00:34:10 and Guy had to determine his shining light. And it was the moment in the movie when the guy with the leotard took a sip of beer. Now, when this happened, a lot in the movie
Starting point is 00:34:36 comes down hard. Let's stop playing this awful improv game. You really need to pick a fucking shining light, dude. We can't move on until you do. Like, can I just cop out and be like, talk about the whole project and be like...
Starting point is 00:35:03 Oh, I'm sorry, dude. The shining light? How about this for a fucking... How about this for a shining light, idiot? Yeah? When the credits roll? out and be like over like about talk about the whole project and be like oh i'm sorry how about this for a shining light idiot yeah when the credits rolled yes and we hugged because we don't have to watch the movie anymore yeah how's that for a shining light you Fuck you! If I may take the opportunity to tell you how it is as a shining light, it doesn't fucking qualify because it wasn't in the goddamn movie, you son of a bitch.
Starting point is 00:35:37 Let me tell you something about you, Guy Montgomery. You're a fucking idiot. And I hate your guts If I had a pitchfork right now I'd jam it through your goddamn chest And murder you You'd be pretty lucky to get through this chest, pal That being said
Starting point is 00:35:56 Because I've been eating muesli bars Since we were in the desert And guess what? I'm feeling pretty goddamn near to invincible You put a pitchfork into my body I think it's going to crumble like a goddamn spork in a coconut. What is your understanding of muesli? What do you think it does?
Starting point is 00:36:13 It makes me feel like I'm Zeus. You're an idiot. You're a bonafide fucking moron. Zeus wasn't quick with his brain, but he was fucking quick with a lightning bolt, bitch! I'm Zeus right now. You're not Zeus, dude. And I'm chicken out of this conversation, bitch.
Starting point is 00:36:30 I understand. I understand. Listen, where are we at? I'm not sure. We need to place ourselves in space and time right now. Well, I think that we're... Welcome to the end. Yeah. The end Um
Starting point is 00:36:48 Well If there was ever an anti-Crescendo That was it If there was ever The worst way to end the worst idea of all time Pretty sure you nailed it bro Way to stay on brand Proud of you.
Starting point is 00:37:05 I'm proud of myself. Hey, I'm Guy Montgomery. I'm Tim Baird. Don't watch... Good enough. Listen, on a serious note... Before you leave... Yes, Brett.
Starting point is 00:37:21 We brought you some presents to take with you back to New Zealand. Oh, shit, Brett. It's cute. Let's have a third round of applause for Brett because he's fucking earned it. This shit's all up to him. Cinefamily on Fairfax and Sunset. Oh, fuck off. That's cool.
Starting point is 00:37:39 Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. So we are currently holding a promotional Grown Ups 2 visor, which seems like official crew swag, a cookie which may or may not contain any weed. No, that's because you've been asking for a cookie for what feels like 10 hours, you fucking moron.
Starting point is 00:38:02 But more importantly, Guy is currently wearing a Grown Ups 2 what are they called when they're in the water? Floatation device. It's like a donut, right? A what? An inflator tube. An inner tube. It's an inflator inner tube and it's Grown Ups
Starting point is 00:38:19 2 branded. This is the heaviest biscuit I've ever fucking lifted. Feel it. I gave it to you. I've ever fucking lifted. Feel it. I gave it to you. I've already felt it. Do it. I literally picked it up to put it in your hand. I'm not going to lie to you. It's wet.
Starting point is 00:38:39 Not a bad quality in a biscuit. That's not altogether a bad thing. I want to take this opportunity on behalf of myself and Guy to thank you guys so much for turning out tonight. You guys are wonderful. Give yourselves a round of applause. Truly.
Starting point is 00:38:56 That applause is for you. You're amazing. Thank you. And so, just... Look, what I did is I wanted you guys to... Hey. What I did... Come on.
Starting point is 00:39:13 We, what we did. We threw a little... Did you fight on stage? No. I just... Yeah. I felt like you did. I didn't fight.
Starting point is 00:39:20 Okay. Look, I made a little... We made a little thank you video for you guys. Tim made it. I definitely made it. I was in the room about half the time. But look, it's not that long. And I just wanted to present it to you guys here at the live event because you're wonderful.
Starting point is 00:39:42 Yeah, cheers for coming out. This is a weird situation. We're really happy we're here. We're even more happy you're here. Let's cheers for coming out. This is a weird situation. We're really happy we're here. We're even more happy you're here. Let's get out of here, bro. And we're going to bail. So enjoy the video. Thanks for coming.
Starting point is 00:39:52 Tim and Guy, good night. Good night. Because before you know it, your precious time slips away. Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes, led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner. Peloton All Access Membership Separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running.

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