The Worst Idea Of All Time - Review: From Justin to Kelly

Episode Date: August 3, 2018

Selected and funded by the Patreon.com/TWIOAT contributers, TimGuy took the last poll's runner up and watched 2002's American Idol's runner up Justin Guarini AND WINNER Kelly Clarkson do a movie together. And you want to know something? The boiz bloody loved it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today... You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer... Everybody run! Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands, now playing.

On June 20th... Come with us to Miami. It's not my scene. Music will bring two strangers together... Hey, they go from the beach. And nothing can come between them. I'm an asscrot again. Except all their friends.

So what does a girl need to do to get you? We're a million hot girls here and you're still talking about the one girl who blew you off. Kelly Clarkson. I should take a chance. Justin Garini. Next girl is special. In the musical event of the summer. From Justin to Kelly.

Rated PG. June 20th only in theatres. Hello everyone and welcome to the Patreon Zone. I'm Tim Baird and I'm currently in Power Stance. Hello, I'm Guy Montgomery. I am actually lying on my side, sort of like Kate Winslet's Rose in the Titanic as drawn by Leonardo DiCaprio. Do you feel like you're presenting yourself to me? A little bit.

I'm only in my togs or my swimmers, as they're known elsewhere. I actually played a game of basketball against my housemate Ken this morning, a little one-on-one. And both of us have absolutely destroyed our backs um oh no which means that uh we're both it's it's pretty funny like it's sort of it's just you know using uh body parts and muscles that have long been neglected in ways that they don't remember or aren't familiar with so there's an immediate aftermath which is pure agony uh but i'm not too worried about it. I had a great morning out there

and I've had a hell of a day. And do you want to hear why, Tim? Why? Well, the movie that was chosen for us this week, I'm not sure by who or whom. By many. By the many. By the demo.

Is it Latin? Yeah. From Justin to Kelly. By the DMO. Is it Latin? Yeah. From Justin to Kelly. 2003 musical rom-com starring the winner and runner-up of the first season of American Idol, Kelly Clarkson, who's gone on to superstardom, and Justin Guarini. Guarini. I don't know how to say that name. My ignorance is showing.

Tim? Yeah. You've watched this movie i have i just finished it oh good morning to you how'd you find it i loved it i had such a good time watching this film and everything was stacked against me. I obtained the movie yesterday, very late last night. I was working all day. It was a Sunday, the Lord's Day, but I had to do work. And then I came home and tried to obtain this gem of a film, which I tell you what, do you know what everyone forgot after they got rid of all the video stores? New Zealand.

They forgot about New Zealand. There's so many films that no one owns the rights for people in new zealand to watch so this is definitely one of those films that falls into that camp where it would be at the video easy a video easy existed but it is impossible to rent or obtain by digital download anywhere so I had to use nefarious means, which had me staying up for four hours waiting for the few people who were seeding this movie to the internet to share up their stack with the old Timbo.

So there I was. The download finished at one in the morning. I started watching the film, and then I fell asleep, as is tradition. Drifted off about halfway through at 2am and then woke up early this morning and went back to the last bit I remembered and finished off the second half. Not the traditional way. Where did you make it to in the film before you nodded off last night?

To Alexa's big number, Wish Upon a Star. When she's waiting for Justin to arrive at Pearl, the cocktail lounge. Yeah. And actually, the thought that occurred to me this morning that this film could have an alternative title instead of From Justin to Callie. It just could be called Alexa is a cunt.

Yeah, I mean, certainly she is not the most likable character contained in the film. And also, I mean, it feels harsh to hang too much shit on her because obviously she's an actor who did such a good job that I was genuinely irked and frustrated by her actions. I mean, as anyone reasonable would be. She is an absolute monster. And she threw down a few pretty impressive dance moves.

Probably one of the weaker voices in the film. Yeah, I'd go with that. Although I like your accent. Let's get a bird's eye view on this. Can you tell me what this movie is, Guy? I'm not saying plot, but describe the shape of this object that we absorbed it is a delightful springtime romp set in fort lauderdale beach in florida uh party boy or former party boy justin guarini uh is sort of looking up to hang up his party cleats and move into the slightly more

serious world of genuine emotional connection. Kelly Clarkson, skeptical about traveling to spring break in Florida from Texas, appears to be cast as someone who has always been sort of a solid as a rock type. A square. rock type um a square well i mean look this movie i in researching it i see is and on the wikipedia pages described as often regarded as one of the worst movies ever made i'm with you i had a really good time watching it's a very simple little story the movie knows exactly what it is like it doesn't push itself uh it is it like it's exactly as challenging as you know what my tiny brain can fucking handle when consuming media these days why did this movie get such a

bad rap i i like i came into it expecting it to be really terrible and you know you just you got to take it on its merits but fuck it have me man it really had me and it held on well there's i think there's a few things in its favor here uh the run of what movies we've watched for patreon recently have been so uh just demoralizingly poorly built to be honest like anything that uh has any semblance of like easier to follow plot on it to be honest it feels like i've been trying to do crosswords for the last six months and then someone's like hey these crosswords aren't really working out for you here's a word find and i've done the word find and i'm just swelling with pride this is more like a um i think a

coloring in page in a newspaper. And there's three colours. It's the American flag. It's given you three coloured pencils and it said, can you please complete this picture? And then you do it and you put it on the fridge. Mum and Dad are so proud. It's so much fun.

It feels like the sort of the comic sensibility, some of the sexually implied stuff is a little bit racier, but the sensibility and the presentation is in the vein of those tween age Nickelodeon shows, Drake and Josh, that sort of thing. It's just a real comfortable, possibly nostalgic spot for me. Again, I can't get over it. It just doesn't, it didn't overstretch itself. It said, this is our movie.

We've pretty much got two people who want to get together and one person who will do everything within their power to prevent that. And then they fill out the surrounding details with some enjoyable B and C plots, all very simple love stories. there are a few big laughs some of the musical numbers were it'd be fair to say atrocious but enjoyably so can i say as well just speaking to the musical nature of this film i mean it makes perfect sense that this film is a musical but i had no idea what this movie was going in

and it's one of those ones where it's a musical where they they do a lot of talking and particularly at the start of the film you've got the opening thing is callie clarkson singing her heart out and then sort of the camera pulls back to reveal she's on stage in a completely empty bar save for luke um who is positively smitten he is the hometown boy from whatever texas town kelly clarkson lives in in this film and i was like okay cool so so they've shoehorned in an opportunity for her to sing nice and early i'm sure there'll be one at the end as well but then the movie at various points and only the first one was super jarring because then you're like oh okay this is what we're doing it'll just descend into song instantly it'll be like talky talky talk dialogue and then

no now we're singing now it's a song guess what we're doing this now well that's i believe i i performed as a chorus member in various different iterations of this type of musical. It's an operetta is what it is. It's a lovely easy balance between the story being told through song and through dialogue. And I actually wrote down...

What made you part of a chorus? What was it? I was in Fagin's Gang in Oliver. The story of Oliver Twist adapted for the stage by the dastardly Andrew Lloyd Webber from Charles Dickens' original text. You better believe I was one of Joseph's brothers in Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat. Your boy G-Mont also played a disciple in Jesus Christ Superstar. Did my best friend at the time, Oscar Enberg, king herod in a elvis sort of mock-up that

uh brought the house down night after night oh yeah he did um i'm familiar with the form i wrote down in my notebook while watching this movie uh could make a good broadway musical do you think is it time in 2018 is this the antidote for what ails us right now probably uh you won't be able to get it up in time this year to celebrate its 15th birthday but i think uh if you look at 20 23 even um it's 20th anniversary sweet 16 we need something we need a little candy floss in our lives right now uh in these dark times and i think that's why yeah no you go i was good oh no i was gonna can i say quickly kelly clarkson is covered in stardust this entire movie she has x big set of lungs

huge set of pipes and she's given a few songs where she really lets rip um i think the there was a song one of them had real you know real shades of a kelly clarkson banger it's the um set piece oh fuck i can't remember what it is it's the it's it's it's the one it must be the madness oh that comes quite later on and yeah yeah it comes it comes after you fall asleep when you'd reset this morning yeah yeah yeah uh they're like the product the music production the sound of it sort of had uh shades of you know uh what would go on to be behind these hazel eyes and since you've been gone i mean she's a superstar it's so easy i mean i imagine she must have won the vote on american

idol in an absolute landslide uh because just we knew callie clarkson was good we didn't remember that she was great because her acting abilities in this film as well very much on show and she she she doesn't even carry it because i actually think everyone's doing a pretty good job i don't know why this movie's so maligned people need to chill out it's a good film and the format is genius let's get two young talents who are famous to the American public for being good at singing and custom build a musical to their stylists. Do you know what? This movie helped pave the way for High School Musical.

It's a different version of the same thing. You know, you've got his and hers. This is at spring break. That's at summer camp. One is an athlete. one is a party boy on in both turns the the female lead is a um a you know it's sort of a uh well to do or not well to do but yeah but yeah i guess cast more is bookish um and i i don't know i don't know it's you couldn't accuse it of being before its time but maybe it just maybe the the cynicism of the success of american idol meant that the the critics and the culture pushed back against a movie that did exactly what it set out

to do yeah and i think i'm used to seeing at the moment such complicated layered films and everyone's so deliciously clever these days that even going to kids movies, there'll be so many like layers of complexity, which is really great. It's really satisfying and rewarding to see so much stuff in an easy to swallow pill. so much stuff in an easy-to-swallow pill. But, I mean, this movie is just like we're doing, guys, get your keys, we're going to the beach. That's all we're doing today. We're just going to the beach. No vegetables. You don't have to bring a book.

We're going to get ice creams, and we're going to the beach for an hour and a half. Yeah. Not even that, an hour and 20 minutes. I love the duration. For a trip and a half. Yeah. Not even that, an hour and 20 minutes. I love the duration. For a trip to the beach. I knew so soon into the movie that I was in my happy place when I can't remember the character's name, Brandon. So there's pretty much, Kelly Clarkson has got two best friends

or one who is a best friend, the other one who we've spoken about, Alexa, who turns out to be just like a two-faced prat really just no good at all logical liar and i'm sorry for using the c word but she deserved it folks no no no she had it coming uh and then justin has two two best friends one of whom is a uh uh very like well-intentioned and nice guy who's looking forward to meeting a a woman who he's been talking to online for a year uh and then like uh van wilder cast off who's just like this sort of party boy who's obsessed with the volume like he he's he's a perfectly played meathead jock. Yeah. And the three of them have this venture during spring break. They throw the best parties.

And the jock guy, Van Wilder B, we'll call him, he's like an enterprising dude. Yeah, Van Milder. Yes. Yeah, I heard you. So Van Milder's always looking how to make money. And one of the first things we learn about them is this is going to be the best spring break ever, finally because I've got the perfect whipped cream bikini contest set up,

which is such an amazing thing to look forward to immediately. You talk about Chekhov's gun. And then, I mean, more excitingly still, he promises that it will be judged by the Pennsylvania posse. And that is another Chekhov's gun. Sadly, the second gun goes unused. They do show the whipped cream bikini contest, but we do not see it being judged.

It gets derailed by an argument between Justin and Kelly. But I would have loved to find out more about the Pennsylvania Posse. They probably deserve their own spin-off movie, I think. I mean, who do you think they are? What could warrant Brandon being so excited that for his big sort of statement piece this spring break, the whipped cream bikini contest. He secured the services of the much sought after Pennsylvania Posse. What are they bringing to the table?

The scene that has been cut from the final theatrical release of From Justin Till Kelly was a West Side Story showdown between the Pennsylvania Posse and Van Milder's crew. They had a falling out over some disputes about proceeds from a party which they co-branded and co-promoted on the beach. And they thought that they both knew the split, but it turns out the other one thought they were the 65 and the other dude was the 35.

So that led to all kinds of trouble and there's a huge dance-off. Unfortunately, the knife work wasn't quite up to snuff. No one was very skilled, so the production crew erred on the side of caution, and what they ended up filming was two sets of men who were meters, visibly meters apart, with very blunt pieces of metal sort of jabbing it in the ear, and it just didn't translate to the screen, unfortunately. Tested very poorly.

So we had to nix the Pennsylvania Posse's big number from the final release. That is a shame. I'd love if you could dig it up in the back channels of the internet wherever you found your copy of this film to watch. I was surprised this wasn't on Netflix, can I say. Wasn't it?

If I worked for any of these video-on- i would snap this thing up i know i'm going to be giving a lot of good press going forward okay so here's the thing i don't know if this is common with a lot of movies but when i go on netflix it's got i'm pretty sure this had like a page for it oh maybe i'm thinking of amazon actually but i was trying to like rent it and it wouldn't let me but it had it like it was visible so i just assumed that a whole bunch of these services have it and they don't let new zealand watch it which is a very common occurrence yeah it's on amazon but i mean i guess amazon's eating into that netflix you know that netflix back catalog this one i imagine bloody hotly contested few big laughs

for me tim which i'd love to share with you i'd love to see if we've got any crossover uh one of the first laughs that got out of me actually was uh when or not first laughs but the first one i wrote down was uh when justin they meet in the bathroom he's running away from all these uh women who are trying to get free wristbands to go to the big party they're throwing later that night and he locks himself in the bathroom who should be there but the woman who's who caught his eye at the beach kelly clarkson and uh they talk to each other and uh he she he she says there's a secret exit in every bathroom uh he says my hair wouldn't fit through that she says i'm from texas i've seen bigger which is sort of meant to be innuendo it's a dick joke yeah but

relative to the size of his hair which didn't make perfect sense but i didn't mind that and then he she gives him a boost up and sort of uh helps him on his way out the window and he she says you're right he said yeah luckily my body broke my fall that was the moment i was like this is this is my level this is this is where i'm at this is where i'm at yeah yeah uh yeah i mean i'll just open by saying that i didn't laugh out loud at any moment but that was as much um for fear of waking up my darling wife as as any anything else but i was certainly laughing on fear of waking up my darling wife as anything else. But I was certainly laughing on the inside at that line. I recognised it.

I also enjoyed the nerdy guy who was essentially brought in as outward-facing comic relief. You'd get laughs from everyone, but he was specifically put there for that purpose. It was also sort of the beating heart of the movie from the bro's side. He was the only one who was really speaking any sense throughout. But he said... Can I say, just about him, I'm so disappointed he didn't get a song. I was waiting for it the whole movie.

Well, this is why Alexa's song stood out because all of the other leads sort of got their chance to shine. song stood out because all of the other uh leads sort of got their chance to shine um like uh even even the van milder he was given like he obviously got hired for being maybe the first uh he must have gotten knocked down in the second round of the competition he did some like uh very low-key raps it's actually how the guys forgot about it yeah he did they wove it into the film in a really weird way where they would just enter into a scene and they would be combination beatboxing and rapping and i mean it wasn't terrible i guess but it was just like oh

okay unique from the songs and that it's the difference between diegetic and non-diegetic like the songs sort of you go into this fantasy world where uh you're um and the and the songs is very clear that this this exists like in fight of the concords paralleled what's happening in the in the movie but the beatbox and raps were happening within the world of the film like that's what first caught the eyes of the ladies. Ladies. That's what first drew them over to the fellas, was this guy rapping about how to pick up women to his nerdy mate.

And the whole reason I started this conversation is I want to talk about how good the nerdy mate's performance was. He was dynamite. And that's why I was so disappointed. He struck me as the kind of guy who would have an incredible voice no it's sort of a stage presence that you would sort of associate with a um like a broadway type so i was like this fucking dude has a gun in the holster and i cannot wait to see it he has got a concealed carry permit and it's not going to be until later in the film where this motherfucker

packs arms, gets him out, shows everyone his guns and we're going to be blown away. He's going to blow us all away to quote Lin-Manuel Miranda. Alexa barely got over the line for her solo song

and I feel like he would have been really pushing it. Nothing about his physique suggested that he had the set of lungs necessary to carry a song in this movie. It's not about physique, it's about the face you can you see a person communicating out there in the world and you think to yourself they've got a song in their heart and i can't wait to hear it and that's how i felt about nerdy man we really should know the name of i didn't think he'd get his own song

but i thought he'd get more comical asides and other people's songs he got uh towards the end of the film when they do like a big everyone together happy clappy song and dance number he sort of did get to push fan milder out of the way and grab about three sentences of a not quite singing but sort of rhyming solo which uh i think he was he was hired purely for his acting chops guy um, can I throw one question at you? Because this film was very easy for me to grapple with except for one aspect. And that, I think, was just because I wasn't paying close attention to the names of all the characters. The situation at the end where Nerdy Man is at the bar with that guy who's punched him out at his hotel room because he thinks mistakenly that

he's been cheating on his girlfriend that nerdy man's been been having it off with his girlfriend who's yeah who's actually been with that guy's girlfriend is that milder then okay there's very little consequence for that eh well no if anything uh it gives us a chance to empathize further with nerdy man uh as as he explains to yet another meathead like i don't know why this guy hangs out with uh the burly lads he does he's clearly got a big heart on him and a lot of wisdom to share but he persuades uh you know even actually you know we see change in Van Mulder by the end when he winds up

with that cop who keeps giving him tickets for putting on events without permits he looks like he's about to settle into the real deal Justin's clearly

an angel underneath it all as well these are party boys with hearts of gold I tell you you've just got to give them a chance one of the big differences

between this and We Are Your Friends is our characters aren't afraid to learn and grow during this film. Whereas in We Are Your Friends, they even kill a friend and don't really adjust to any of their behaviours. I'm going to go out on a limb and say from just until Callie is the best crossover version of Sex and the City and We Are Your Friends.

You've got the ladies. You've got the ladies. You've got the fellas. They've all got their own separate lives and stories. We throw them together. They tussle and get up to mischief in Fort Lauderdale over spring break. And it's just a romp from start to finish. Did this movie make any money, Guy? Do you know the financials on this here enterprise?

It lost not a significant amount of money. Oh, I mean, first of all, no, Tim. There's no plan in which this movie made money. A budget of $12 million, and I imagine a lot of that went on choreography. A return of $4.9 million. Oh, it's... I mean i mean look ladies and gentlemen making movies we've all seen it done from a distance it looks fucking hard but you know what's also hard

losing money once you've made one that is devastating we're we're up against some pretty scathing feedback here you want to share any? well the film has a 10% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes based on 63 reviews the consensus states a notorious stinker which is aside from being a lovely turn of phrase something I vehemently disagree with

from Justin to Kelly features banal songs a witless plot and non-existent chemistry between its american idol sanction leads uh kelly clarkson since the release of the film has stated before it went into production she pleaded with the creative american idol to be relieved from the contractual obligation to star in a film she's always disliked from justin to kelly you wonder when the last time she saw it is because um it's good it's good everyone's wrong thaw your heart out roger ebert this movie

rules it's just it's not your cerebral you know let's create some new camera techniques bloody society in a nutshell inside of a three hour theatrical rapper it's just a it's a bit of fun we need a bit of fun eddie so the actor who played eddie is called brian deetson and you'll be pleased to hear who even is eddie though eddie is nerdy guy okay he's going good guns he's a series regular what's he up to man uh he's a series regular on ncis yes uh i tell you what though i also went on to justin's wiki page and uh while time hasn't been unkind to him, it'd be fair to say he writes his own Wikipedia page. Can you throw some morphs at us? You want some evidence? Well, the one that really sort of set my eyes on fire

was the subset of his career titled 2010 to Present Acting, Hosting and Performing. It starts with Guarini became a part of the broadway community with his 2010 broadway debut as carlos and a musical adaptation of pedro alma devas film woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown critics called his debut surprisingly charming captivating and extremely likable uh it goes on and then once you get down sort of towards the the tail end of it we've got the stuff that really betrays how invested he is in maintaining this beautifully kept zen garden of his in 2016 guarini attended the tony awards and co-hosted backstage coverage of the live broadcast in conjunction with broadwayhd.com he's also acted in independent film projects such as the drama and action film Fast Girl.

None of these have hyperlinks, by the way. The drama and action film Fast Girl, The Unknown, Frankie the Squirrel, Mafioso 2, The Sun, and short film Tilt-A-Whirl. Since 2015, Guarini has been starring as Little Sweet in Diet Dr. Pepper television commercials and web marketing. In 2016, Dr. Pepper promoted tunes for Little Sweet and Diet Dr. Pepper television commercials and web marketing. In 2016 Dr. Pepper promoted tunes for Little Sweet album with video clips, promotional pictures of the character and the character's own Twitter page

What is Little Sweet? All commercials and clips are available on Dr. Pepper's YouTube channel You know he's writing his own page when he's literally using a paragraph to push to Diet Dr. Pepper's ads on YouTube just so you can see him doing his thing these days. Guy, I'm going to throw an idea at you.

I think we should start a podcast with Justin. Well, Lord knows if we can reach him. He's currently based in... Ah, fuck, it's not up to date enough. He's currently based in... Ah, fuck, it's not up to date enough. You are genuinely perturbed by the fact that you can't just immediately reach out to Justin to see if he wants to jump on a pod.

Well, no, it says here an EP of original music will be released by Guarini approximately July 30th, 2016. Well, let's get him when he's on that junket, man. Let's tie him in. It is two years since that statement was of interest, and there is not hide nor hair to be seen of this EP. Also, the hyperlink, I mean, if you want to know what else suggests that he writes his own Wikipedia page,

the hyperlink for that one goes straight to his previous Pledge Me music page for the album. This feels mean now. You know what? Life's unpredictable. It's hard. One minute you are a star child and America loves you, and the next you are, if I've understood correctly,

voicing some sort of computer-generated mascot for Dr. Pepper in a series of commercials. That's life. You've just got to keep on swimming. Yeah, you're right. You know who taught me that? Alan DeGeneres. She's wise. He wrote a lot of these songs in Sweden.

I'm way too deep into the Justin rabbit hole. Let's talk about Alexa for a moment. Okay. I just want to quickly say while we are on Justin, I mean, God knows how many votes he lost to Kelly Clarkson. I understand what you're trying to say. You sound stoned at the moment, by the way. I can't quite put those words in the right order.

I'd love to know how many votes he lost to Kelly Clarkson by, because he is so visibly and audibly the weaker of the two performers. He's got a good look. He's got a great look. I would describe his look as fuckable. He's like Samson. Maybe all the powers combined, you know captured in his hair and as he ages and his hair thins out so too does his power wane who do you say is like that samson

from the bible i think he slayed a lion i was thinking of our friend and walkout boy nick samson he also has all his power contained in his hair so um let's keep that pro pisha rolling in nick sampson we got to protect your main asset hard the f out moving on to alexa um who much maligned and rightly so she in this film is our sole antagonist really everyone else is kind of goofing off and bringing a little bit of friction, but nothing too serious to bear. Alexa is positively a villain. She is a childhood friend of Callie's character,

and there's another woman as well who's a friend of the trio, makes up the trio. And Alexa is, by her own own admission the queen of conniving she sets up a whole bunch of situations where she's lying both to callie and to justin thwarting their numerous efforts to try and get their shit together in romantic fashion and ends up uh convincing the other one that you know in turn um callie's been cheating on her Texas hometown boyfriend. She invites Luke, the aforementioned Luke, who's barely in this film, to come to Fort Lauderdale so that he can sort of be seen as Callie's boyfriend,

even though Callie's got no romantic interest in him, which leads to a tremendous, really interestingly edited scene of the two men facing off luke versus justin in a hovercraft battle i mean when's the last time you saw that on the silver screen never it's never happened before nor at the actual beach i feel like those toys were a fad passing through at the same time as production were uh because that that scene was just absolute madness to me it was it was bookended by two fantastic lines from van milder uh the first of which was after luke arrives and him and justin sort of get into it fighting over kelly um van

modus says there's got to be a fair but profitable way to settle this. That is a funny line. He then also, I mean, the reason this guy's struggling for money is he can't keep his own books. He lays odds on both of them and then starts the race before taking any bets. I noticed that as well. But they did make up with that by viewing him taking money off punters once proceedings were underway. So he wanted to get the fire lit, get everyone excited,

and then really quickly, just as the opening round, grab money off everyone. The odds, for anyone interested by memory, was 10-1 on Luke winning and 2-1 for Justin, with Van Milder, of course, taking a 20% cut for operating. That's right. And Justin won. I mean, he won by default, taking a 20% cut for operating. That's right. And Justin won. I mean, he won by default, essentially. Luke couldn't hack it. He's not built for the ocean.

He's built for the land. Well, they had a mighty crash. No one won. The ocean won. It was Poseidon's victory. No, no, no. Justin won. He got to keep going.

If someone retires here, they lose. Yeah, I guess you're right, actually. I was going to say in a boxing match. In a boxing match, this is literally how you win yeah i mean you could have chosen any number of sports as a metaphor but you literally reached for the one on which the packaging said not this uh but he bookends that competition when the police the sort of police officer who's been getting fined and sort of vibes from throughout the film.

She's beautiful. So I bet gambling on hovercrafts, not too legal. Or words to that effect, which got a rise out of me. Find me the state statute that refers to betting on hovercrafts on a beach during spring break i would love to know the original situation that gave rise to litigation and subsequent legislation preventing people from being able to put money on those fantastic vehicles why aren't there more hovercrafts at the beach in 2018 we've been trotting out the same line that bureaucrats always hide behind, which is if I let you

gamble on hovercrafts at the beach, then I'm going to have to let everyone start gambling on hovercrafts at the beach. And we can't possibly, we don't have the resources to regulate that. People are marrying their dogs. It's what we call the slippery slope. It's the thin edge

of the wedge, people. The thin end of the it's the thin edge of the wedge people the thin thin end of the wedge the thin edge of the wedge works brilliantly i almost like it better we've diverted from talking about alexa which was my intention alexa um she whoever played her i thought did a fantastic job well i can tell you who played her because, I mean, we should all know the fantastic Catherine Bayliss. You might recognise her as Erica Marsh from the hit show One Tree Hill or Life and Death Brigade member

Stephanie from the Gilmore Girls. Truly one for the ages. How many seasons of Gilmore Girls was she in? She had an uncredited role in Jackass number two. She was in one episode of the Gilmore Girls and six episodes of One Tree Hill. Oh, no. This is beginning to look like another self-curated Wikipedia page.

Fuck. Oh, what has this movie done to so many brilliant, promising careers? Fuck, who knows, man. From Justin to Callie to career suicide that was the subtitle of this movie let's see what's become of brandon aka van milder do you know who he reminded me of while you're searching and the it was from the second i saw him i was like i wonder if it's the dude but it isn't in. In the film The Room, which have you actually seen, Guy? Have I ever watched The Room with you?

Not with me, but I have seen it. Tommy Wiseau's The Room. There's a guy in there who plays this real crazy cartoon character. He looks and he's sort of acting like, what's the dude from Scooby-Doo? Shaggy. Shaggy. He sort of strikes me as a real shaggy type and he's got a girl and he's very like

he's like a little teen fuckboy and I think he's actually he gets caught having sex in someone's house at one point. I haven't seen The Room in a little while but I have seen that movie many, many, many, many, many times and Van Milder gave me such a strong vibe of that dude it's the guy who when you watch the room you're like this guy is in the wrong movie

this is this guy's in like a comic book i can't i can't get a high definition of rendering of of him in my head no that's fine have you found our boy though in the in the flick yeah he he it's hard to tell he's probably done his own wiki page too but he is mostly recognized now as a visual artist uh his wikipedia page is mostly comprised of the various solo and group shows he's been a part of uh mostly out of la so this guy creates a lot of work um obviously this was a cash grab and full credit to the man he went in and he did it and he did it right i yeah i mean look i i don't know what else to tell you to him i'm a me impressed. I'm a big fan

and would happily and will recommend this movie to any number of people. Yeah, I mean, know what you're getting, you know? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Know what you're ordering here. It's a TV dinner. I think we've painted a pretty clear picture of that. Just quickly, while we are talking about the experience of watching

The Room, I remembered, while I've been speaking to you, my delightful housemate Ken has brought me in a lovely cold beer. And I remember last year, Ken and I went to watch the movie The Disaster Artist together, which you'll remember was James Franco's sort of biographical rendering of the process of making the movie and we went in and we watched it and we walked out and then ken turned to me and he said

uh that's a pretty weird movie and i said what and he goes yeah i just felt like the story never really went anywhere and i was like oh no but that's that's the story. And then he said, what? And Kenner just watched just a movie without any comprehension or knowledge That's amazing. of the room existing. Wow. I mean, I don't know how we hadn't spoken about it prior to watching the movie,

but I mean, it did genuinely look like quite a baffling cinema-going experience. My lovely lady wife Zoe hadn't seen the room and she was concerned about not sort of enjoying the movie on enough of a deep level without that context but just going in without anything i mean what a that's bold i love it but what other option do you have when you're ignorant to the fact that there is context? Yeah, yeah. Did he enjoy it? It sounds like he didn't really like it. Well, I think it's competently put together

and the energy of the cinema guides how you react to it. Ken, can you hear me? No, he can't hear me. He must be in his room. Okay. This is going to involve a little bit of self-promotion i greg sestero who um is is in the room tommy wiseau's uh best friend put him on the microphone greg i don't think he's here anymore he was here very recently

uh in fact one day ago oh i see good. Do you want me to explain the joke? Yeah, yeah. Yep, there's time. So you said Greg Sestero, who's in the room. Oh, shit. I actually didn't get that. I thought that was in reference to him being in New Zealand. Very good.

I didn't know he was in New Zealand. He was in New Zealand recently to open his new film, which I think is called best friends which he did with tommy wiseau and they did a screening of that and a screening of the room at a fantastic cinema called uh the hollywood avondale if you're ever in auckland you should check it out it's been revamped in the last sort of year and a half and it's just a stunning venue both for music and movies um but i was dead keen to go to that and uh and see it i saw hereditary there and a trailer came on before the movie and greg sestero had filmed a little introduction on his iphone saying g'day auckland i'm i'm coming over um this is a movie that i wrote when i was stoned and uh me and tommy wise are in it and it's called best friends and you should see it and and it felt like he was saying um like

completely off the cuff this was just occurring to him he's like and we'll chuck a little screening of the room in as well and to to watch the room with greg sestero in the room would be god a delight unfortunately i couldn't attend because i was um launching a web series that i've been working a little hard out on for the last few months which everyone should look up and watch please it's called the male gaze g-a-y-z which is an adaptation of a podcast that i produced for a couple of mates of mine that's neither here nor there the point is greg was here man and i missed him and i'm gutted about that But that's the price of hard work. That was a long road to walk.

But please check out the male guys. Of course, you already listened to them as they are part of the Little Empire family. My congratulations to you, Tim, to Leon, to Eli, Chris, and everyone involved in that fantastic production. Thanks, buddy. You'll be able to watch it soon as well because i had a very long uh battle beating tvnz into having the ability to not g region block it so it'll be available for the whole world to watch anyway i'm not here to talk about the gays we're here to um put a button on this thing and yeah i think guys already played his hand i'm gonna say watch the

fuck out of this thing watch it twice invite some friends around make some popcorn in a microwave and just fucking tuck in we're in complex times people and every now and then you got to put your feet up get a hot water bottle you know wrap up it's winter now so i'm kind of grabbing comfort things that are appropriate for my particular season, which isn't going to be applicable for the Northern Hemisphere. But whatever season it is, it is always the season for From Justin to Callie. I'm Tim Batt. Two thumbs up.

That's a great review, Tim. Before we go, I just do have a few random bits of miscellanea to run through with you here. Great. Other laugh lines for Montgomery. Nerdy guy saying, My skin's not milky it's alabaster thank you and then becoming self-conscious going to the beach and falling asleep uh with his when he's oiled up and just getting roasted i laughed the whole when he was walking in sunburned and oblivious doing sunburned i laughed along the whole way

as a man who has been sunburned i I thought it was very funny and relatable content. That was very funny because if I can extrapolate briefly, so the shot is the camera is behind him, so we just see his back, which is pretty normal. He's walking in front, so we get everyone's reaction seeing his burnt torso and he thinks that they're admiring how great his tan is. So we have the

hubris of a confident but ignorant man strutting upon the beach who is mistaking people's horrified looks for adoration for his uh beautiful bronzed body and it's just it's a combination of high and low status that i find quintessential comedy he he has a very funny balance of high and low status because he does think quite highly of his physique, as is established at multiple points throughout the movie. He describes himself as an Adonis at one point and literally lifts up his shirt to showcase his abs, which he doesn't have.

I'd also quite like to say that they borrowed or created the opening refrain from Last Ketchup's smash song, The Ketchup Song. Do you remember this song? I said, That's what it was. I was trying to think of what that was for so long. The first time Alexa texts Justin

pretending to be Kelly, that refrain comes in and it doesn't go into the song and I think the timeline I feel like glass ketchup was first year of high school which would be oh two should mean that maybe that was here first and they used just the amount that you're allowed to use without having to pay copyright uh also just that last number that they did that's the way oh fuck what was it yeah that boy was that a shockingly terrible arrangement of that song. Yeah. They took everything that was good about that song and took it out of the song.

Yes. I'd also like to say I really fucking did not like that they redeemed Alexa. I had thought she'd been such a well-drawn villain. Justin and Kelly do reunite at the end of the film. And they could have done independent of her she should have uh fucked right back off to texas and left the rest of the enjoyable cast members to celebrate uh their positivity they didn't need to redeem her as the one misstep this movie made otherwise uh nine out of ten can I pitch an ending she gets killed by a hovercraft out of control

pretty heavy stuff I'm in actually you know what that's too much that's too much it wouldn't suit it wouldn't be right yeah I feel like you may be overstretching there I've overshot but I am so on the same page with you and it has

been such a delight to watch a movie that we both enjoyed i did not anticipate um getting reflected back that you too uh had a fun time watching this movie because every single online review of this thing chalks it up to be a complete dud but you know what clear eyes open heart whatever that saying is you go and let it let it fill you up let from justin till kelly fill you up folks it's a movie stupid uh yeah i'm i'm right there with you it's been a pleasure guy thanks for watching this movie with me no worries apart also to those of you listening come check out alice ned and my split bill stand-up comedy show in new york at union hall july 20th it's a friday tickets are five dollars thank you and make sure you get voting at patreon.com slash t-w-i-o-a-t that stands for

the worst idea of all time so that you can help determine the fate of what these brave boys will be watching next. Maybe it'll be another great movie. Who's to say? You are. Goodbye. Bye. Vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, had to get away.

Vacation, that's a beast that's alone. Today. You ready? to download.