The Yak - A Knight in Armor Teaches Us How to LARP | The Yak 11-22-22
Episode Date: November 22, 2022Mike! Mike! Mike!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
It's just really Kate and me in the room, and we both overprepared.
We both prepared as if we're about to feed and drink with the entire show,
and it's just us in here, which is fine, which is fine, which is 100% fine.
And, yeah, I got some apple pie moonshine that hopefully we can suckle down.
Maybe trick some other people into coming in here.
Is this Showstar?
What the fuck are those sweatshirts?
These sweatshirts are tough as hell.
These are just our yak.
And it's crazy that all of us simultaneously wore them.
Strong sweatshirt. Strong sweatshirt.
Cool sweatshirt.
It's all tucked in.
They're telling you to talk into the mic.
Yeah, get your fucking ass up and talk into the mic.
That's what I said.
So, you want to do a World Cup check-in real quick before we get?
Because we're the three that are in danger.
Yeah, this is bad.
I don't know why they just have abandoned us.
Denmark not scoring a goal.
That's fucked.
It's fucked.
But then I look at the fact that Iran got me two yesterday,
and then I'm in the same place. That was such bullshit.
I'm in the same place KB is in with the U.S. and Wales going,
that they tied at one.
Me and him are in the same boat, so I'm still in third place
even though I got shut out by Denmark.
Yeah, but a lot of teams haven't even played yet.
Shut up.
I mean, Spain, Canada, and South Korea, none of those have played yet.
We're doing total goals scored, not difference, right?
Total goals scored.
Total goals scored.
What does the 1-1 matter?
They both scored one goal.
So it's like between those two teams, they averaged one goal.
Same as between Denmark.
Someone had both of those teams.
KB has both of those teams.
So they both averaged a goal in their game.
And so I also averaged a goal.
That's how I'm rationalizing this.
I'm also averaging a goal.
How many do you have?
One game?
Two.
I have a 2-0 win for Ecuador.
And then Senegal lost.
They scored nothing.
Damn.
Yeah, whatever.
We're averaging the goal.
Is that all it's going to take?
Or are or a couple
shutouts my good thing is i um i at least i have qatar in my group with with ecuador and senegal
so senegal will play qatar and should be able to score on them because qatar is not very good but
then again saudi arabia who we didn't even put in the fucking tournament because they're so bad
one they beat argentina today yeah it was like the ultimate disrespect are you here for the first
time steven just heard that for the first time, Stephen?
Where would I have heard that?
Twitter!
What?
It's the biggest sports story.
It's the biggest sports story
in the world.
On the Score app,
on ESPN,
BarstoolSports.com.
You cannot consume sports today
without knowing that.
It was so big,
I blogged it this morning.
I never blog sports.
Stephen, it is a gigantic story.
News to me.
There's been all the calls
on Twitter.
There's been everything. Did Schefter tweet about it? I'm sure he probably did. He to me. There's been all the calls on Twitter. There's been everything.
Did Schefter tweet about it?
I'm sure he probably did.
He should have.
I don't know.
I was on Twitter briefly, and yeah, I did not see that.
It's 1 p.m.
This shit happened before dawn.
I can't tweet about it 30 times.
You think I get to 25 at night with my props by just staying on Twitter?
No, I got to do a ton of research.
I'm putting in the work for the people.
Basketball props.
Hold on, Ron.
He's staring at me. I fucking hate you.
I'm looking at all you guys. Oh, you're looking
dead at me. You're the one that's talking to me.
He was
looking dead at you. He was giving you a little
wrestling stare. He was looking straight at me.
He was. He was giving you an attitude-error stare.
Damn, that's
fucked up. But it's also,
I mean, having Saudi Arabia
score or win that game,
it really just fucks Argentina.
Well, see, here's the thing, because we assumed that the three of us
would be in most danger, and that might be true.
But when Nick got Argentina, he breathed a sigh of relief.
Well, they didn't fucking score.
So if they're not going to get through and they're going to be bad,
we might have to reevaluate.
Okay, they scored one.
Excuse me. We might have to reevaluate. Okay, they scored one. Excuse me.
We might have to reevaluate who's on the chopping block here.
I know.
And the fact that, well, it's really just going to come down to who advances.
Who has the most teams with a likelihood of advancing.
I also think Morocco would be lovely this time of year.
This time of year?
Any time of year, really.
And who would have thought Saudi Arabia would put you on the chopping block?
It's not a thing that –
They really snuck in there. No foreign policy jokes on here.
I'm already in hot water with Iran.
I'm trying to make it seem like we're very...
Already in hot water? Nothing's even happened yet.
The fact that we're Westerners going over there,
I feel like that's automatic hot water.
You think we could just go to Iran willy-nilly?
I was asking Ari about it.
We don't have to worry about it. You have to worry about it.
Well, I mean, we as Westerners. I'm
bugging out about it, and I'm a little bit nervous.
And I want the Iranian government
to know that I'm cool with whatever they're doing
to women. It's their government. I'm cool with
whatever's going on in Saudi Arabia. It's their
country. Let them do what they want. I've never seen such
an outpouring of support of, like,
the Qatari government when they didn't
let the dude with the rainbow shirt on.
Everybody's like, that's their tradition.
Let them do whatever the fuck they want.
That guy did show up looking for the reaction, right?
I mean, he was...
It's Grant Wall, right?
Is that who that was?
I think it was.
Whatever.
A bald dude with a Jeff cap.
Yep.
So I brought a bunch of booze in, thinking there'd be a lot of us here for some reason because I'm an idiot.
You were here yesterday when Kyle and Sass said they weren't going to be here.
I guess I thought they were because I wasn't listening.
Okay, cool, cool.
Are those Ferrero shade chocolates?
Yes.
Cool.
So what kind of booze we got?
Part of me thought it would be fun to have, we eat the Whitman chocolate sampler and have
Zod guess which one we're eating.
Yes.
That would be fun. Look at the chart. That would be very fun. Zod guess which one we're eating yes no look at that that would be
look at the chart that would be very guess which one I wish we could have callers call in and guess
what but they were on YouTube they would see I know remember that moment yeah that was a great
a timeless moment was that filmed or how did it was on Sirius it was uh it was uh yeah we were
filming it but it was on the radio I have no sense sense of time. It was a recent. Is it a recent?
Recent, yeah.
A recent.
How long ago were we on Sirius?
When did that shit stop?
February of 21, I think, or 20?
No, 21.
I don't know.
My show used to be 10 p.m. to midnight on there.
Were we on Sirius through the quarantine?
Our first day, yes.
Our first day of YouTube was a snowstorm.
We had to stay over in the city.
Remember coming over?
Oh, yeah, it wasn't on YouTube.
So, yeah, it had to be on Sirius.
Okay.
Sorry, man.
Oh, no, it's okay.
I don't mind at all.
That's crazy that you were doing the midnight shifts, the graveyard shifts. Yeah.
That must have sucked.
It did.
You had to come into, where were you coming from, Astoria?
Well, I used to be coming up from Philly area, from Media PA.
Every night?
Yeah.
And then I was staying in the hostel because I, that was a long time.
Because I hadn't moved here yet, but they were like, you know.
Wait, this is a Yakagami?
Yes.
Right?
This is the first.
First time we've all worn these sweatshirts?
No, just the three of you in the
first the first pairing of of all three of us has to be that sounds like a cause for celebration
k what is it okay let's have some booze so i was thinking like back in the my old college house we
would get a bunch of different kinds of 40 ounces and you would shut your eyes and reach in and
whichever one you got haha which i guess they all stunk so i don't know what the joke was feed us
liquor but some of these are fancy and some of these are just crappy,
like $5 ones, so.
I don't know.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Just an open one.
Did you bring glasses?
No, no.
That was the thing is that we each get our own bottle.
Yeah, straight to the head because they're smaller.
All right.
Okay.
Orchestrated, Kate.
Take us on the journey.
We're here for the journey.
I also need some chocolate because I need something on my stomach.
I also got these Chip City sent me a box of cookies.
So if you want one of these cookies, they're, like, pretty delicious.
They say to heat them up, but they're soft, unheated.
So I guess shout out to Chip City.
They're, like, dude.
Oh, yes.
Yeah, I wonder what that box retails for.
Twelve cookies in that box, and they look like goddamn biscuits. I would say that's a $40 box. $40 to $50, I wonder what that box retails for. 12 cookies in that box, and they look like goddamn biscuits.
I would say that's a $40 box.
$40 to $50, I'd guess.
But I don't know.
I was having the conversation with Glenn,
who I kind of would assume is the best cookie appraiser in the office.
Cooking and hand jobs, yeah.
Was he an H.J. guy?
Wasn't he?
No, he went to New Room Massages, which I think they...
I thought that was just hand jobs.
I don't know.
It might be full sex.
I don't know, though.
Oh, I think it's just...
Is it?
Yeah.
Should we ask Lenny?
No.
Just leave it up to the imagination?
I'd rather just be in the dark on this one.
Damn, I want to add...
Oh, Zaha.
Zaha, what'd you get, Zaha?
French rosé.
French rosé.
Got some rosé. EJ, what'd you get, Zah? French rosé. French rosé. Got some rosé.
EJ, what'd you get?
A little bit of bubbly, I think.
What kind?
Brut.
Brut?
Oh, that's bad.
That's got to be bad.
And Che, what'd you get?
A mini Moet.
Oh, Moet.
Moet, Chandon.
Actually, speaking of rosé, Roan, did you see that Rosé was on my block?
Rosé was on your block.
Ricky Rosé was in my hometown.
Wait, what?
He was in Zimbabwe?
Yeah, he was in Harare, in the streets of Harare, man, causing trouble.
Harare?
Yeah.
Damn.
Smoking weed, smoking weed.
They have weed out there?
Nah, it's illegal.
But he was on it anyway.
He was smoking weed on stage, and out there no it's illegal but he was on it anyway he's smoking weed
on stage and it was a whole thing he was meant to get arrested but he's rosé so they just let it
fly it was all damn how uh how corrupt is are is the police force out there and he just pay them
off or are they gonna stick to the law regardless yeah how rich are you yeah he's rich he's got cows
there you go he's got you don't even you don cows on his land. You don't even need that much.
You don't even need that much.
Damn, that's incredible.
He just had a random show out there?
Yeah, so I think the government brought him over for a show.
Then he spit in their face by smoking ganja?
Yeah.
What a piece of shit.
I mean, you know what you're going to get, right?
Makes the people happy.
What do you have there, Brandon?
I have a Prosecco.
Made by whom? Mianetto
Prosecco. Is that Italian?
It sounds Italian. What is that?
Mianetto. You gotta be some Japanese
shit. You got Japanese shit?
It looks like it. Is this rice wine?
I have no idea what it is.
Genuinely no clue.
Hey, you're a mom.
Kobota Senju.
Open that. Are you to the opening things phase yet? Genuinely no clue. Hey, you're a mom. Kubota Senju.
Open that.
Are you to the opening things phase yet?
Banana cream pie, spicy flavors, nutmeg.
This shit might be delicious.
It could be.
I don't know.
You should drink it.
It was expensive. I'm about to.
It was?
Why did you say it was the worst one then?
Because I didn't know what it was.
You don't know how to get into mine.
I don't know how to open this at all.
It says spin it.
You just twist the whole thing off.
You weren't supposed to peel the wrapper.
You're a man.
Huh?
Spin it.
Twist the whole thing.
You weren't supposed to peel the wrapper.
You got it.
Mine's just clear.
You weren't supposed to peel the wrapper.
Is this sake?
I don't know.
I think this shit is sake.
It might be.
Oh, so we're just drinking.
Yeah, I guess.
Just drink.
I like this.
Cheers. Cheers to you guys. Happy Friday. Just a little drinking. Yeah, I guess. Just drink. I like this.
Cheers to you guys.
Happy Friday.
Just a little yak and sip.
Happy Friday.
Happy yak.
I like that you're drinking, Brandon.
Oh.
Oh, hey.
Oh, Brandon.
A little prosecco for my boy.
What are we celebrating?
It's Friday.
Life? Whoa's Friday. Life?
Whoa,
Steven.
Hey.
How did it pop off like that,
but no bubbles came out?
It's like the
all-business Pete
of wine.
Yeah,
the vasectomy bottle.
The fucking
nothing comes out.
Man,
this shit is...
Is this chocolate?
This shit is delicious.
I'm off of chocolate.
This sake is...
Man, do we have shot glasses?
Maybe I'll do some sake bombs.
I would do some of that.
Some sake bombs?
Yeah.
All right.
I'm down, dude.
Nothing like a yakagami, some sake bombs, an evenly balanced main room.
Fucking living out here.
Here, get your...
Yeah, this shit is lovely, dude. You guys have as many people in the control booth as. Living out here. Yeah, this shit is lovely, dude.
You guys have as many people in the control booth
as we have out here.
So you guys got to bring that juice, too.
You guys got to get fucked up equally.
I got lost after Friday's episode.
Oh, yeah.
I saw that.
What the fuck happened, Zaha?
I just forgot that I took a pit stop at my boy's place.
I figured out after when I texted him.
Yeah, I saw you tweeting out random locations being like, hey, could anybody in the wild help me?
I don't know where the fuck I was.
For some reason, I stopped at my friend's apartment who's on the way to the tunnel.
He's right by, you know where that, I think it's called Green Greenwich Tavern or something?
Close to that area. Greenwich Tavern?vern yeah i stopped over there for a second we did an episode of the bracket
with dana b the other week where i don't know how we got on this topic but he's like yeah i woke up
in a marsh once with no pants on damn behind a bar and he pulled out a photo of the marsh
and uh we were like buddy something might have happened to you.
You know?
Yeah, definitely.
Someone threw him in there.
I mean, I think that's beyond the pale.
If you wake up on a couch and you don't know where you're at, fine.
If you wake up in a marsh without pants on, something's happened to your butthole.
Yeah.
You were on Dana yesterday.
I was on Dana yesterday.
I'm on Dana every day.
Yeah. I love Dana. Dana can take it. I was on Dana yesterday. I'm on Dana every day.
I love Dana.
Dana can take it.
I love Dana.
But first of all, he's really fat now.
He's fatter than me, and that's been delightful.
270, right?
Yeah, 272.
I'm only 265. Billy, you want a shot of sake?
How about some champagne or maybe some moonshine?
It's a yakagami, Billy.
You're not going to take a shot of...
No moonshine?
What a cunt. Dana revealed that yakagami, Billy. You're not going to take a shot of it. No moonshine? What a cunt.
Dana revealed that on the bracket, and it was shocking.
Yeah, I'm not doing it justice.
It was the story he told.
We were all kind of laughing, but we were all kind of like, buddy.
Yeah, figure that out.
Okay.
I'm going to get a shock lusher.
Is that a big realization when you wake up and realize you've just been fucked? Dana has not woken up from that out. Okay. Something may have happened. I'm going to get shock lashes. Is that a big realization when you wake up and realize you've just been fucked?
Dana has not woken up from that yet.
Kate?
Hmm?
I'm usually the one.
Never mind.
I liked your TikTok.
Thank you.
Was that an Instagram or a TikTok or a tweet?
It was both. Instagram and TikTok.
I don't know what to post on my Instagram anymore.
Okay.
Huh.
No one cares.
It's morning sunshine.
Oh, my God.
It is morning sunshine.
Brought to you by...
Nobody.
Nobody.
That show got canceled.
No one sponsored it after 65 episodes.
They didn't even notice it was gone.
They just said, stop doing it.
And man, the editors had to work really hard on that show.
They really did.
They were busting their ass.
Aria would stay up to like 3 a.m.
Yep, we actually tried.
And the people at Barstool, the brass, said, stop doing that show.
We hate this.
It's awful.
This is not funny.
Don't put that out.
How's your life going, Steven?
Going terrific.
I mean, Thanksgiving week, we got big stuff for Black Friday.
It's our Monday, but it's nice to have a couple days off.
Refresh.
I got both my two.
All right.
Well, I didn't care.
I was just trying to transition.
How's your life going?
My life's all right.
Got a little rosé in my system.
Hey!
Sorry.
Show is saved.
Sorry.
You have to pick a bottle to drink out of.
Shut your eyes.
I'm reaching the bowl.
Where's Ron?
He's already got his.
He's getting some sake.
He's doing sake bombs.
Oh, what is this?
Sparkling wine.
Yay.
Delicious. My favorite. Hey, everyone. Yay. Delicious.
My favorite.
Hey, everyone.
Sorry.
Buddy.
Jerry's not here?
Oh, I haven't seen him.
We were doing Yakagami.
Yakagami?
Yeah.
Where's this?
Where's this all?
I don't know.
You'll figure it out.
Just headphones.
Oh, Roan.
Good to see you guys.
Sorry I'm late.
That's okay.
I now have pure last day of school energy because I'm done with all my shows.
Oh, doesn't that feel good?
Feels so fucking good.
The last Thanksgiving week's always the same.
When's your next big responsibility?
Not till Sunday. Oh, wow. That's nice. Yeah, Sunday. It'll be the biggest break you get all next big responsibility? Not until Sunday.
Oh, wow.
That's nice.
Yeah, Sunday.
That'll be the biggest break you get all year.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, this is, I was, every Thanksgiving, the first Monday and Tuesday, we try to fit like
seven shows in a day and a half.
So I'm finally done with that.
I finished.
I'm here to hang out.
I love you guys. Oh, it's nice. I'm here to hang out. I love you guys.
Oh, it's nice.
Nice for you to be here.
Where's Roan going?
Roan, where are you going?
Oh, he's giving a socky.
Oh, nice.
We got chocolates going around.
We got a Whitman sampler.
No free ads.
There's some cookies.
Cookies about if you'd like.
You could also order some Lomo.
I don't want to speak out of turn,
but we could order some Lomo up in this bitch
I don't hate it
Would I be out of turn if I ordered us some Lomo
What about the wheel
Should we just spin the wheel early
Spin the wheel
What if some shit happens
Let's take a shot of sake
And let's spin the wheel
I don't want to eat too much.
I've been watching my video. You just had a cookie,
Brandon. You do look good.
I feel good. I don't want to say anything.
I've lost like five pounds. It's felt.
I've been working out. Hard to look bad
in those sweaters. It might
be a sweater. What are you doing?
Why do you look good right now?
I've been working
out every morning. I wake up at 7 and I run on a treadmill.
What? For how long?
Shots up!
Shots up, sake.
Cheers.
Cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers.
Cheers.
To prosperity for posterity.
Ooh.
Yeah.
That's good.
Oh.
Yeah, you know, it's sake.
It was sharp, but it was like a flower a little bit.
Did you get a haircut or something?
Why do you look good?
I mean, it's not...
Okay.
You do look good as fuck, though.
I appreciate that.
What is it?
Is it because you've been mean to Dana?
I've lost...
Are you going?
Big cat.
What do you feel?
I know what he fucking did.
He copied you?
This guy wants my life.
He copied you? Show us what my life. You copied you?
Show us what you have underneath.
I have
I have a
I'm being really careful with those layers.
What's underneath that? I have a Mississippi State basketball.
And what's underneath that?
And what's underneath that?
Why are you holding it down so hard? Show me.
Oh!
The man's wearing snakes!
No. No. Oh, the man's wearing snakes. No.
No.
Man, that is.
That wasn't going too high.
I'm not even mad because I'm actually my brother in arm now.
Do you feel good?
It took a while to get used to, but when it goes out of your mind you're like oh yeah i do feel
pretty good i feel kind of you're just sitting you don't feel like a fat slob oh i just listen
when you did it i was like god damn he looks good why would not want to look good too bro
take a picture of the two of us it's spanks boys
it's a phenomenon it's a phenomenon it It's a phenomenon.
It's sweeping the country.
It is.
I respected you for doing it, and this is not copying you at all.
I don't think this could possibly be called copying you.
No, I'm not going to say it's copying me, although you do want my life.
I don't want your life.
Is it KS or X?
X.
Throw those X's up for the Spanx boys.
An X. I think I look X's up for the Spanx boys. An X.
I think I look good.
It feels good.
I'm going to maybe wear Spanx on Thanksgiving.
Is that a psycho move?
Thanksgiving?
Spanx-giving.
I might have a Spanx-giving.
Is that a psycho move?
Yeah.
I think it might be, but I also kind of want to-
How are you going to wear Spanx if you don't have to impress anybody that day?
Because it's more about the feel.
I feel strong.
Does it hurt your eating intake?
You know how when you unbuckle your belt after a big meal, you feel like you have a little more capacity?
Yes.
So does it restrict your capacity?
A little bit.
You feel a little more uncomfortable the more you eat.
Yeah, and it is the feeling you get when you take your Spanx off after a long day.
I mean, Kate, I get it.
Yes.
I get it when you take your bra off.
Like it is unbelievable.
The sausage just dumps out.
To you Spanx brothers.
Thank you.
To Spanx boys.
All right, so I got to drink this sparkling wine.
You don't have to.
Do whatever you'd like.
No, this is who brought this. You got some chocolate chip cookies to. You can do whatever you'd like. Who brought this?
You got some chocolate chip cookies, too?
Chip City.
This bitch over here.
This is good.
Nice cookies if you want some cookies.
Some Ferrero Rocher chocolates as well.
It's that thing in the front that looks great in your...
That's the moonshine.
Oh, there's the straight moonshine in there.
Apple pie moonshine.
Who brought that?
I did.
Oh, why?
Apple pie moonshine? It's that? I did. Oh, why? Apple pie moonshine?
It's delicious.
It's so good.
I've heard that.
I think I've had apple pie moonshine before.
It's fucking fantastic.
You could drink it straight from the jar.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
But I also brought some ginger ale to mix it with if you want a little bit of a mixer.
Maybe it's a little bit softer with ginger ale.
That's what they recommend.
Oh, ginger ale.
We deserve it.
They like this.
I know.
I like it. I like that. We don't even have anything scheduled, but there's just the
excitement of wanting to celebrate something.
And that's why I feel like we should spin the wheel.
I feel like the wheel's going to reward us with
something good because we're just here.
It's the over 30 crowd. You know what I mean?
Over 30 crowd.
It is.
Youths in here with their fucking highfalutin, newfangled, liberal ideas.
It's so true.
Just hardened, middle-aged people.
Go eat dinner at Cracker Barrel at 4.30.
Watch 60 Minutes tonight, dude.
Yeah, have some applesauce or fucking take a nap.
Watch some Fox News.
Hey, Kate, how old are you?
Am I allowed to ask?
Yeah, yeah, I'm old.
How old?
My hair's almost all gray
Mine too
Okay
I'm in my 30s
I actually do not
I feel like I'm supposed to not say my
I'm 35
Oh that's not old
What are you talking about?
No that's not old
No no no
I see other parents at daycare pick up
And I'm like wow those are real grown ups
And then I realize they're like younger than me
And I am older than them Yeah grown ups are mindset A little older than them Yeah Grown up is very much I don't feel like I'm like wow those are real grown-ups and then I realized they're like younger than me and I'm I am older than grown-ups yeah grown-up is very much feel like I'm a grown-up you need
to move back to the city because in the city um when my wife had our first child the doctor was
like oh teen mom in our 30s but in New York City yeah there's like a seven-year-old gay dude who's
like the hippest guy at the club yeah yeah old men just partying hard New York I. Yeah, there's like a seven-year-old gay dude who's like the hippest guy at the club. Yeah.
Old men just partying hard.
New York, I feel like,
I feel like a lot,
there's like a shitload of New Yorkers
who like have a child
at like 45.
Yes.
Yeah, and just raise them
in their apartment.
Yeah.
Just with like a dog
in like a one bedroom
or something like that.
These kids are just
growing up hard.
Yeah.
Gotta be out on the streets.
They're smoking cigarettes
by 13.
I come from a place where they all have kids at like between 18 and 22.
That's child rearing.
All of my classmates, or a lot of my classmates, are already grandparents.
I like the idea of being able to, like, being a grandparent at like 55 would be awesome.
Yep.
That's super dope.
I pull that off. Yeah. I think you're oldest. Yep. That's super dope. I'd pull that off.
Yeah.
I think you're oldest.
14. She'll be 14 next week.
Let's not hope that you pull it off.
Well, no. I mean, she has her decision.
Maybe let's hope that she makes it.
27, that's fine. Or 26, that's fine.
I'd be 55.
You're already 49. I'm 43.
You know that I'm 43. I do know you're 43.
You're only 43.
Why would you say it like that?
Because your beard is so white.
You're so grumpy all the time.
You know what I mean?
You look 42 with those Spanx on, brother.
But you have the fear of public transit of a guy who's in his late 40s.
Oh, I'm adept at public transit now.
You are?
Yeah, except for the subway.
Yeah, the subway is what I meant.
That's the scary public transit, not just the train in.
That's all maddened public transit right there.
I think I'm aging poorly.
No.
You're dignified.
You're an aggregate of the people you hang out with.
You hang out with the youth.
You have money.
Who gives a fuck?
I need to get some...
What if I came in with just an insane amount of plastic surgery?
I'll have to get plastic surgery, I guess.
How fucking funny would that be if I just
had a fake ass face?
Look like a different person.
I kind of want to do it just for the laughs.
Big teeth.
I don't want to do it for myself
because I do not care, but it would be
like a funny 10 minutes or so.
Like when you were dyeing your hair, it was funny.
It was funny for the laughs at the beginning.
Stop doing that.
Yeah, you did. You quit it.
That's just Spanx.
Yeah.
But as long as you say the things you're doing, as long as you don't try and hide it, it's funny.
Yeah, if you just say like, hey guys, I'm wearing Spanx now.
You can't.
But if you get caught.
Oh, man.
Is that a Spanx?
Like Brandon got caught?
Is he wearing a leotard?
I didn't.
Brandon leans forward and he has like one of those American Apparel romper thongs.
It's like whale tailing at the top of his pants.
It wouldn't look good.
Yeah, what if Brandon just all of a sudden was wearing a G-string?
Is that a thong, Brandon?
Is that a G-string?
Is that a whole ass thong?
I wish we had more sake.
Sake was a great choice.
I should have gotten more.
I had a whole bottle I took at home. I like these mini bottles. Me too. I just saw them in the liquor store and I said, had more sake. Sake was a great choice. I should have gotten more. I had a whole bottle I took at home.
I like these mini bottles.
Me too.
I just saw them in the liquor store and I said, that's fun.
Yeah.
I had a bunch of them.
Sake's a fun drink because you can take a lot of shots.
Yes.
You don't get hammered like you would if you were taking real shots.
Yes.
They're also easier to take.
That being said, let's switch to real shots.
Yeah.
Okay.
And let's also spin the wheel.
Wait, what are we going to do, an ad?
Let's see.
I got a lot of stuff on my desk here.
You do?
My desk is lived in.
It is.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
Okay.
Okay.
ELL, PFL, PFL, Professional Fighters League.
Oh, the PFL World Championship is live Friday, November 25th
from the Hulu Theater, Madison Square Garden on ESPN Plus Pay-Per-View.
Friday is going to be an awesome sports day.
USA, England earlier in the day.
Football.
College football.
And now we have the PFL Friday night World Championship.
The queen of women's MMA, Kayla Harrison, squares off against Red Hot,
Larissa Pacheco.
Five straight KOs in the biggest trilogy in PFL history.
We got featherweights clash in the co-main event when Brendan Launane fights Bubba Badman Jenkins.
Oh, I'm betting on Bubba.
Team Bubba.
The UK versus USA matchup for the history books.
Wait, which one's UK and which one's USA?
I think Bubba.
Bubba's USA.
Bubba's USA. Yeah, because Brendan.
Yeah, there we go.
Where's Tyler O'Day? Oh, there he is!
Loud Sean! Is that Loud Sean?
Now that's the real sale here.
If you want to support our former
co-worker and always
friend, friend for life,
Loud Sean, he works
for the PFL now, so support Loud Sean. He works for the PFL now.
So support Loud Sean.
He looks good.
Watch MMA's Richest Night Live.
It really does.
November 25th, 8 p.m. on ESPN Plus Pay-Per-View.
That's November 25th, 8 p.m. ESPN Plus Pay-Per-View. Going to be a great night for the PFL World Championship.
Do you think, Sean, that's just like if you leave Barstool,
you get 10 years back?
We stop aging in aggressive internet.
Yeah, right.
It's like your life just becomes normal again.
Becomes your own again.
Oh, and look at that.
Apparently you have to be tied to the Empire State Building too.
Oh, day.
Like, Loud Sean definitely got this new job
and was in the office being like,
I know a guy at the Empire State Building.
Loud Sean definitely orchestrated that, being like, I know a guy.
Two former barstool guys.
You think they call him Loud Sean?
I mean, they have to.
He's so loud.
He's so loud.
Yeah, they do.
I love his Price is Right clip.
Do you understand where the name comes from?
Yes.
He's a very loud talker.
And laugher.
I remember the first time I interviewed him or met him was Kay Marco
and I interviewed him at a diner up on the west side.
Dave warned me.
He's like, this guy's loud.
He cleared out a Starbucks.
And I got there expecting it, and it was like, whoa, no, he is really loud.
His basketball feud with a certain former employee is one of my top five favorite Barstool storylines ever.
Also, maybe the lowest moment in Barstool.
That's so funny.
That was pay-per-view, no?
I'm pretty sure we tested pay-per-view on that.
I thought it was live.
I think it was live.
I don't know if it was pay-per-view.
I don't think you had to buy it.
But that was one of those moments that there was so much hype Dave and I got there to the playground
and about three
minutes in we're like what are we doing with
our lives because they just were
they were just wrestling on a basketball
court that's what he said he was going to do back up down on the
post beat him 21-17 oh man
and then I saw loud Sean afterwards after he got
beat his like
I like went back and then
I went out for lunch came back and he was outside the
office with like his whole family like in like a hushed tone someone had died yeah it's all right
daddy yeah no this kid seriously like yeah didn't go didn't go daddy's way today got in a tussle on
a basketball court win some you lose some kids is an important lesson. Or he just drove home in silence,
gripping the wheel.
They're all in fear.
Next time, I got to get him with the crossover.
Never heard daddy be so quiet.
I remember one time,
our neighborhood always had Super Bowl parties,
and all the dads drank a little too much.
And somehow, my dad,
I know he's going to text me,
but he's like, no, I didn't.
He wound up wrestling with another dad
in front of the TV, in front of everybody.
It got out of hand a little bit
and I just remember the quiet afterwards.
Did he win?
Everyone being like, well.
Just like clinking glasses.
Yeah, it was just like that clinking,
like you hear people just eating their hors d'oeuvres.
It's like, okay, well.
Yeah, those awkward moments.
I live for them.
I live for them.
Yeah, it's so awesome.
Shout out Mr. Beagle.
Best.
Neighborhood parties are awesome too.
Just like getting the whole neighborhood together.
I was at one this past weekend for the Eagles game.
It was like 60 people in like a small house in East Falls
or like a compact house in East Falls
and everybody was watching the game.
It was just fantastic.
How many mics?
Oh, yeah.
They talked about the mic ratio
and it was more mics than non-mics among the males.
And it was like a lot of the mics weren't even in my circle of mics.
No way.
It was like other mics.
There's more mics?
In like Roxborough, it's like a hotbed for mics.
If you had to build an army of mics, could you get 100 mics?
I could get 100 mics in 45 minutes.
Yes.
In 45 minutes, I could have a group chat of 100 mics
just be like add all the mics you know add all the mics you know add all the mics you know and
they tell two mics who are the who are the guys that uh tried to do it and it was like four of
them john's john's the johns have no clout and it sucks dude because they're trying to bridge the
gap between old and young but really it's the mics that have the stronghold we play that clip it
makes me laugh
every time I watch it. Every time I come
across it. Do you know it, TJ? I gotta get back on
TikTok, dude. I was loving TikTok for a
year. I took a year off.
I'm about to get it. I watch TikTok every night.
It's such a mind-numbing...
I get sucked in for like...
I have three things. I have bass fishing,
TikToks, titties,
and football. That's what my algorithm is, TikToks, titties, and football.
That's what my algorithm is.
Bass fishing, titties, and football.
I spent two hours last night watching dogs eating raw diets.
I also have cats as humans.
The guy that verbalizes the thoughts of cats and animals, I watch him a lot.
The account name is My Dog Tools.
It's like two American bullies.
Actually, no.
The two American bullies is My Dog Tools.
There's another one.
Literally spent two hours just watching the media.
That's incredible.
I have never gotten into TikTok because I...
You know.
I saw that one first article where they're like,
China's just stealing everything.
And I was like, I'm American.
I'm not letting this happen.
I also heard that China has a version of
TikTok for kids that's like
limits them to one hour a day and
it's all like positive
informational material.
That's smart. And it's like a setting that
like it's like hard to access
for Americans but like that's automatic
for them. That's so smart.
We should start teaching all of our kids through TikTok.
I know. Instead of just letting them look at
Brandon's titties, titty videos.
Is that a raw diet, though? My titties or the
titty videos I want? Your titty videos,
not your titties videos.
We've got some chicken legs.
We've got some sardines.
I don't like this.
I can't look away.
Play the Mike's video.
Most of my friends are named Mike.
Yeah, it's the voice, too, that gets it.
Yeah, the TikTok voice.
Sorry, should we do this shot of moonshine?
We haven't spun the wheel, either.
Yeah, we're going to.
This is the moonshines for the, yeah, the moonshines for the wheel.
Not eating yet today.
Cheers, cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Ooh, that's good. Goddamn, that is good. Ooh, that's good.
Goddamn, that is good.
Oh, that's good.
Pour up another one.
Oh, my God, that is good.
It's good.
It hits like a shot.
I was looking at all these top shelf.
It was like Mezcal tequila or something.
No, that's the perfect Thanksgiving shot.
And it was on the very bottom shelf.
Oh.
I felt that go all the way through my body.
Yeah.
Right to the butthole.
I feel it.
Troops, come in.
Troops.
Oh, he's got it.
Erica.
What's up, big dog E?
Big man.
EOE.
What's the ting?
What's the ting happening?
What do you say, E?
Actually, that was taken.
Is he a leprechaun now?
What do you say any?
Erica.
Oh, Chichi.
Oh, Chichi.
Oh, Chichi.
Oh, Erica.
Kate, I feel like you got that healthy bowl, but you got it because it was healthy and
you really just want to look at it.
You're more in a have your cake, kind of eat it too vibe right now.
I haven't eaten yet.
I was like, well, I'm getting little champagne bottles.
What better than fruit to go with it? And then, you know, you're traveling
for the holidays, so you want to build up your immune system,
and you're also boozing.
I need a little more saltado.
Wait for the wheel. Maybe it'll hit it.
Yeah, wait for the wheel. Stephen, grab
troops real quick. I want to talk about World Cup.
There's also expressions.
Expressions oozing.
He's oozing those expressions, isn't he?
Yeah.
Now, listen, if they come in, I've already had like three shots.
I'm not going to be able to keep up with them.
Y'all got to brief me later.
Oh, we're going to get them a shot, too.
Exactly.
Let me pull up a couple shots.
Here they come.
Oh!
Don't deny it.
Oh, no.
You better get your fucking ass in here.
Come take a shot. Come take in here. Come take a shot.
Come on.
Take a shot.
Come take a shot.
Take a shot.
Shot.
Come take a shot.
Shot.
Come take a shot.
Take a shot.
Come take a shot.
Come take a shot.
Come in.
No.
Ow.
Big men.
I'll never forget this.
No big men.
No big men.
One shot.
He's a pussy hole.
That was a very pussy hole move of them.
Huge.
What do you say for that, Zai, your guy?
That's embarrassing, Zai.
It's a tough look.
You got to come in and take their shot.
Big pussy hole.
Huge pussy hole.
The problem with this is the fact that it's in a jar makes it hard to pour.
It's like sweet candy.
Yeah, that does.
But it makes it more fun.
Like, it makes me think it does better.
Can I see the Mike's TikTok, TJ?
I'm desperately looking. Oh, no, it's just on
Roan's TikTok.
You just had wildly
varying levels to those shots.
Okay, that's right.
It's like a set of stairs.
That's a little Liam Neeson
from TJ right there. I will find it.
And I will find this TikTok. I'll send it I will find it. I will find this TikTok.
I'll send it to you, TJ.
I will kill this TikTok.
Yeah, I will get this TikTok.
I will find it.
TikTok's in a brothel right now in Bulgaria.
It was around last August.
Jesus Christ, dude.
What the fuck was I doing posting this much online?
So what I see on TikTok is a lot of top water bass fishing.
I like that.
Oh, yeah?
I like to see the fish hit the bait on top of the water.
That's pleasing to me.
And I like to see alternate angles of football plays.
And then I like to see titties.
I love it.
Tell me more about the titties.
They dance a little.
They'll jiggle. Well, it's a dance. It's so when the titties. They dance a little.
It's a dance. So when the bass line drops, I know,
that's my algorithm too. Because you watch one of them all the way through. They want you to pause at the right time.
My pause game's not great.
I always just get an ugly face.
I love breasts.
It's like when the bass drops and then the shirt rips open.
So whenever...
Most of my friends are named Mike.
So whenever there is a get-together, all the Mikes take a Mike pick.
Look how excited they are to see each other.
I just love it.
Bri is trying to get in on it.
This might be the largest gathering of Mikes yet.
The Jets tried to form an alliance, but it wasn't as powerful.
John.
Most of my friends.
I just love the moment where they started, Mike, Mike, Mike.
Dude, and some of the Mikes were doing cocaine at that time.
Dude, some of them weren't even there.
They weren't there.
That was only a partial representation of all the Mikes.
It was a good Philly wedding.
I love the Mikes.
They're such awesome dudes.
And there were so many other Mikes at the party than the Mikes.
Old Mikes, young Mikes.
Not a lot of baby Mikes.
Coming every size.
Yeah.
Are there any Michaels that refuse to be a Mike?
Absolutely not.
No, you can't do that.
You're Mike.
They see the strength in numbers.
They just link up.
That would be part of the group.
It's awesome.
Most people suck.
Michaels?
No, or just anyone.
Or Josephs who don't want to be a Joe?
A Dan who says, like, I'm Daniel.
Like, don't call me that.
Yes, I hate that.
And I think it's their parents.
I think it starts with the parents because the parents are like, no, her name is Stephanie.
Don't call her Steph.
Yeah.
Joel's a bullshit name anyway.
I mean, it's just Joe.
Yeah, right.
Joel is a name that you're just basically making it so that everyone's like, wait, did you say Joe or Joel?
Right, yeah.
I have to clarify whether your name is Joe or Joel.
But I'm going to call you Joe anyway.
Yeah, right.
Doesn't matter.
You won't even be able to hear it if I don't call,
like if I say Joel.
Joel.
Joel.
Joel.
You're not going to know.
I'm going to say Joel.
And if your name's Joel, you might as well add a T
and change your name to Jolt.
Yeah.
That shit hits way harder.
Jolt.
My dad had a Xavier, and they're like, no, no, it's X-Savior.
You have to pronounce that.
That's way worse because that's not how it's supposed to be.
You might have just invented a great new baby name.
Because you see a lot of Colts and Coltons.
Why not Jolt?
Jolton.
Jolton.
Jolton.
My son Jolton.
Michael Jolton.
It's no stupider than the ones we use now.
Speaking of Joles, hop, skip, and a jump away, how are you feeling about Ben Simmons?
I thought we were going to do Osteen.
No, I do love Osteen.
I have been a longtime follower of his.
But Ben Simmons is cocky, and he's playing good.
He's playing well over the last, like, three games.
He's had more points and more points and more points.
That's a very funny sample size.
Ben Simmons is playing good three games.
Watch out.
I think that I could see him having like an angry 14 to 16 points tonight.
Should we bet it was a 14-point double?
I'm looking at a Simmons prop right now.
I probably won't take a butt for the Sixers.
Embiid is out.
Maxie is out.
And Harden is out.
And Tobias Harris is probable.
Now listen, Simmons has never shown the ability to stick it to somebody.
Whenever the pressure's on, he wilts.
I think I'm betting him triple-double.
Yeah, I think that triple-double is a pretty good bet.
His props aren't very high.
We never talked about the fact that you hit that three-pointer
in the Wells Fargo Center in the next two games Joel Embiid scored like 60.
I know, in the same shoes. You loosened him up up me and him are the only two people that have hit a three in those
shoes on that court wow think about that just because no one wears his shoes but I don't mean
that's not how I mean it I don't mean it in a mean way but no one else wears those shoes
how still the ball isn't wait look at me coming through like a teammate here.
Yeah, I like it.
I believed in you.
Yak basketball, 30 for 30, coming tomorrow at 1 o'clock.
Ben Simmons prop, the line is 25 and a half combined points,
rebounds, and assists.
Easy.
Over.
Got to be over.
I don't.
Did y'all just not grab me for this picture?
How did that happen I definitely tried
You walked away
Yeah
Did I
You were in your own element
Three different times
You were like
No I'm done
I'm done
I remember you being like
No no
Oh yeah
I was trying to go
To throw up in the locker room
You wouldn't even shoot
The half court shot
I was trying
I didn't want to have
To throw up
I love that we just
Got more metal Kyle
Then I made love
To my wife in the hotel room
Nice
That's a nice hotel
Did they give you a suite?
No, it was just a regular room.
Still a nice hotel.
Good wallpaper at that hotel.
It was good wallpaper.
One of the best, most scenic wallpaper in Philadelphia.
I feel bad now
that where we're
at as a company,
when they book our travel, they just always get me
a suite and I feel like I should be like, I don't need it.
I had a suite in Toledo.
What do you need a suite in Toledo?
Do they have suites in Toledo?
I was shocked.
We were there for six hours.
I had a suite in Toledo.
I was like, I don't need this suite in Toledo.
Can we show that picture again?
Because the fake Kyle just tricked my mind.
I thought that was really Jack Kyle for a second.
Oh, yeah, he is just a more metal Kyle. His arms are bigger, too, which is going to kill Kyle. Oh my mind. I thought that was really Jack Kyle for a second. Oh, yeah. He is just a more metal Kyle.
His arms are bigger, too, which is gonna kill
Kyle. Oh, man.
Holy shit. Damn. Kyle's got a lot
of work to do. He kind of dwarfs him a little bit. He does.
With the arms, yeah. He dwarfs a guy
taller than him because his arms are so big.
Oh, man. Why is Steven so happy?
He's always so happy. He's played some
ball. Because he had the chips with the dip or whatever
the fuck. Steven looks good there, too.
What do you mean, why is Steven so happy?
He got to play basketball with his friends.
True.
Seriously.
Steven is forever a 10-year-old boy.
You know.
He really is.
I just saw the hud.
He just wants to talk like fantasy football, you know, play some ball with the boys.
That's why.
You weren't here. So Stephen had no idea whatsoever that Argentina lost today to Saudi Arabia.
And his reasoning was, where would I see that?
Yeah.
Fair.
Twitter.
Twitter.
Everybody.
Not his feed.
Yeah.
Not his feed.
He had the same tweet about 35 times this morning.
I know, but not his feed.
He's got Big Cat muted.
No, I don't have anybody. I tweeted about it 35 times this morning. I know, but not his feed. He's got Big Cat muted.
No, I don't have anybody.
We had a meeting this morning.
I came in a little bit later, and I was doing prop research the entire time,
and then I had to cut up some Blackjack stuff. It was before 9 a.m., though.
It was before 7 a.m.
Dropped my kid off at school.
Credit to me for the meeting.
So we had a Stella Blue Coffee meeting.
Go buy it, StellaBlueCoffee.com.
It's very, very good.
But it was a meeting with probably 15 people.
And I asked Steven, I don't know, like four months ago.
I was like, hey, can you help me with Stella Blue Coffee?
Can you just be in the meetings and then follow up with me for anything that I miss or don't need to do because I'm really bad at organizing.
They'll tell me something, and then I'll be like, got it.
And then three days later, they'll be like, where is that thing?
So Steven has been helping me.
He's been a very big help.
But every time he talks during one of these meetings, I want to treat him like I do on
the yak, and I have to hold myself back.
He asks a question, and I want to be like, that was a dumb question.
I ask good questions.
I know you do, but I want to just shit on you and then like it's adults in the different setting
Yeah, so credit to me for not doing that, but now I'm gonna do it. Yeah, Robbie shot glass over Robbie
So you're getting out of here, but you haven't even shot yet brother be
You gotta get some of this moonshine. It's apple pie moonshine apple pie moonshine robber of age
Now you're not anymore.
You used to be the youngest dude around.
Fly high, young'un.
Robbie, when did you start at Barstool?
How old were you?
Six.
Mike, Mike, Mike.
I just turned 18.
It was October 2016.
And how old are you now?
24.
Still young.
So 12 more years and half your life will be at Barstool.
Yeah.
That's going to be cool.
That's the plan.
Wow.
So you were the youngest and then little Sasquatch became the youngest, but now we're kind of in the market for a new youngest.
We haven't had an 18-year-old in a minute.
That's true.
18, 19-year-old.
Because Rhea and Fran were young, too.
They were like college, almost 15-year-old.
How old is Chicken Fry?
Is she 21?
She's like 28 now.
Chicken Fry's, I think, 24, 25. Really? Yeah. Yeah, no, too. They were like college, almost 15-year-old kids. How old is Chicken Fry? Is she 21? She's like 28 now. Chicken Fry's, I think, 24, 25.
Really?
Yeah.
I know Hank.
I knew Hank when he was 18 years old.
He's about to be 30.
So Sass is our youngest now?
He's our youngest at 21 of content people.
Is he?
Nobody's young.
Who's young?
You've got to recruit somebody.
Red Rhino.
Red Rhino.
Don't say that around me.
Oh, no.
Sass will be turning for a loop when someone's younger than him
because he has such little boy syndrome.
He does.
Youngest child.
Youngest child.
He has to be the cutest.
Did you get threatened when Sass came on as the new youngest guy?
No.
No, I didn't.
That's not Robbie.
Robbie doesn't have that kind of personality.
Robbie doesn't get threatened by anybody.
Exactly.
He's very secure.
Hard to threaten me.
I started a wrestling podcast.
He was like, fuck it. I don't give a shit. Go ahead threaten me. I started a wrestling podcast. He's like, fuck it.
I don't give a shit.
Go ahead.
And then they canceled it with a six-month-old.
It's fun, brother.
All right.
Shots.
Robbie.
Shots to Robbie.
May we have youth forever.
Robbie, give us a pick for the PFL.
It's a sponsored event.
Give a pick for Friday night.
Are you going?
I am going.
Hell yes.
Kayla Harrison's a lock
in the main event.
I got a video coming out
with her tomorrow.
She really kicked my ass.
That video looked good
and the interview
looked very crispy.
Yeah, yeah.
I think people
are going to like it.
Whoa.
That guy's wearing a...
Wait, that's the guy
that brought in the mystery bag.
It is.
He brought in the mystery bag.
He had the same fucking helmet.
That's the same guy
as the mystery bag.
The Mandalorian?
He brought in the mystery bag.
He had that helmet, and we pretended that it was a cool thing.
Can I invite him in, or is that weird?
I think he was also here for the second case race.
What is he wearing?
He always wears that helmet.
He's wearing a Spartan helmet.
Is that weird?
I don't want to be like a dickhead.
I just want to know what the helmet is.
Just go ask him why he's wearing the helmet.
I mean, he has to know.
People are going to ask.
He's wearing a helmet.
He's wearing a Spartan helmet.
My insides are on fire.
Huh? My insides are on fire. Oh, yeah has to know. People are going to ask. He's wearing a helmet. He's wearing a Spartan helmet. My insides are on fire. Huh?
My insides are on fire.
Oh, yeah.
No, you're probably going to have diarrhea soon.
All right, so tune in for your video coming out with?
Yeah, Kayla Harrison.
She's in the main event at PFL.
And Larges' cousin was just in today, Brennan Locknane, in the co-main event.
Larges' cousin?
Larges found out this week that he's fifth cousins with the guy in the main event.
Broke it down for him.
Found it out this week?
Yeah.
Fifth cousins.
Fifth cousins.
I don't know.
Hey, Robbie, did you see that MJF
and Patty the Batty are feuding right now?
I just blogged it.
MJF and Patty the Batty are feuding on Twitter.
Over your interview with MJF.
Remember he said MMA
is not as hard as wrestling?
Yeah. Patty's very upset about that.
I would take Patty on that. MJF,
beat the shit out of Patty. Patty's a better promoter
and he's tougher. He can sell a fight better and he's tougher than him. And he take Patty on that. MJF will beat the shit out of Patty. Patty's a better promoter and he's tougher. Yeah.
He can sell a fight better and he's tougher than
him. And he's more likable. Patty would
beat the fuck out of MJF.
Patty would kill him. And MJF's a tough
dude. And MJF's not even likable. I don't know.
I'm just here. He was mean to
my friend Big Ev.
I'm still salty about that. No, MJF
is actually incredible with how
he texted me after the PMT interview.
He's like, what did the fans say?
I was like, it was literally 50-50, love you, and hate your guts.
I was like, that's exactly what you want.
All right, Kate, looking good.
Kate?
That was easy.
Very easy.
All right, Robbie, well, happy Thanksgiving.
Thanks, guys.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Yeah.
Go USA.
Go check out the PFL on Friday night. Robbie will be there. Recording live. Oh, Conor McGregor looks like a weirdo now. Thanks, guys. Happy Thanksgiving. Yeah. Go USA. Go check out the PFL on Friday night.
Robbie will be there.
Reporting live.
Oh, Conor McGregor looks like a weirdo now.
Mm-hmm.
No, he does.
He needs the beard back.
He needs the beard.
Thank you.
All right.
I was nervous.
I didn't even see him.
He's fat.
I was nervous.
He's not fat, but he's bigger.
Well, not fat.
He's not fat.
This is, like, genuinely a cool thing.
What's up, dude?
Come sit down, brother.
How are you?
Do you want to come have a seat right here
Sure
And talk about
Your helmet?
Yeah
Interesting pants
What's your name?
Thank you
My name is Ivan
Ivan
Yes
That's a good name for that helmet
Thank you
Actually when I wear the helmet for
What I had originally purchased it for
My name is Mongol
Yes
Okay
Reenactment?
Yes
Correct
Go on
So we do full speed full contact foam fighting
in central park on 97th and 5th every larp yeah but we don't really do any of the acting so like
if someone's sneaking up on a friend of mine i say hey jeff look out i'm not gonna say oh megaclues
beware yeah we don't uh unless we're at like an overnight or a camp out or something like that that's a
little bit more immersive um would we you know talk or be that way we're really for the sport
of it uh for the fun of it for the drinks after the camaraderie uh which is why i show up which
is why i you know since day one i've been going back. I love it. Thank you.
Can they feel how heavy it is?
Yeah, you guys are always welcome.
Can I pass?
It is so heavy.
When do you guys meet up?
Feel how heavy this is.
On 97th and 5th.
It's real.
When, though?
Is it like a Saturday?
It's at 2 o'clock.
It's still sunset.
Oh, that is heavy.
Whoa.
It's so heavy.
Dude, so are you-
You can wear any hat to deliver stuff.
Oh, look at these.
This is awesome. Yes. You can wear any hat to deliver stuff. Oh, look at these. This is awesome.
Yes.
You can wear any hat to deliver stuff in.
You wear this.
Yeah, I wear that because, I mean, look.
So cool.
I think if you-
Are you on a motorbike?
I'm on a scooter.
Okay.
If you crash, that will hurt you more than it helps you.
No, I've fallen.
I've been hit by cars.
Really?
This thing has saved my face.
The cheek plates alone, when I slid on the concrete saved my
pretty little face. How many times
have you fallen or been
hit? Maybe about
four in the past three years I've had
it. That's kind of a lot, dude.
You're interesting head to toe.
Socks are interesting.
The shoes are interesting. I was telling him
how people were into him when he dropped off the mystery bag
before. Remember that? You've been here before. I've telling him how people were into him when he dropped off the mystery bag before. Remember that?
Because you've been here before.
Yeah.
No, I've been working with Barstool Sports for a good three years now.
Oh, that's more than me.
I produced your stunt suit with the skull on it, with the flames and stuff going down the sides.
That's my work.
We had a stunt suit.
What might that have been?
A stunt suit with the flames?
I might be drunk.
Yeah, I can't remember.
Donnie?
I'm just going to swig this, okay?
Yeah, you got it.
Swig it by all means.
Apple pie moonshine.
It's delicious.
It's nice, right?
That's how I get my vitamins.
It's the only way.
Ivan, I like you.
We got to come on LARP.
Yeah, I would.
Put it on my wheel, TJ.
LARP?
LARP weekend?
LARP with Ivan? No, LARP on my wheel, TJ. LARP? LARP weekend? LARP with Ivan?
No, LARP on a Saturday, yeah.
With Ivan.
Yeah.
But it's not like LARPing, as you said.
It's more straightforward.
I've done this before.
It's hanging out with your boys.
They go hard, though.
It's not some sissy shit.
Know him?
Bacchus Springjaw?
That's a fake name, dude.
He's not telling the truth.
Okay, so amp guards are a little different, okay?
They have magic.
They have light touch.
Do you hate them?
You're in it for, like, the sport of, like, fighting, you know?
Right?
No, you can't wink, dude.
You're in it for, like, the sport of fighting, kind of.
Yeah, I'm for the sport of it, yeah.
I'm in the next military.
It was a good niche for me.
What were you in the military? I was in the 82nd. I jumped out of planes and stuff. Oh, yeah. I'm in the next military. It was a good niche for me. What were you in the military? I was in the 82nd.
I jumped out of planes and stuff. Oh, airborne.
You were in the 82nd airborne. I came to my high school
and sang one time. It's a marine. Come on
Zero Block 30. Nobody's perfect.
Oh!
Got her ass. Let's have another shot.
All right. Hit him!
Damn it. All right, so we're going to put it on the wheel.
Yeah. That means that at some point we're going to
come in LARP. I look forward to point we're going to come and LARP.
I look forward to it. I shouldn't call it LARP.
What am I calling it?
Well, I mean.
It's a slur.
The name of the game is Daga here.
Daga here?
Yeah.
LARPing is a lot easier, though.
Yeah.
Daga here.
That is, isn't it?
Daga here.
That's why we say LARPing, because it's what everyone understands.
No.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The house is Maga here.
Yeah.
Daga here is the name of the game that we play.
I love it.
Daga here, yeah.
All right, well, Ivan, thank you, man. Well, he's great. Thanks for having me here is the name of the game that we play. I love it. All right.
Well, Ivan, thank you, man.
Thanks for having me.
Appreciate it.
Thanks for coming on.
We're going to just have to grab you next time it happens.
We'll have to get the details.
Give me a little notice because I'm also a parent.
It's rough out here for us.
Of course.
Feel you, brother.
Totally appreciate you, Ivan.
All right.
Thanks, Ivan.
Not a lot of Ivans left.
Thank you.
Not a lot of Ivans. Hell yeah you. Not a lot of Ivans.
Especially outside of the
former Soviet Union. Ivan wasn't
terrible. That was nice. Ivan just thanked
Kate for her service. Right back
at him. He doesn't like that, though.
No, that's why I like it. I didn't want to say
anything. I'm team Matt. It's actually insulting.
I'm ordering the fucking Lomo.
Oh, spin the wheel. I'm waiting for the wheel.
What if it lands on it? I could have had Lomo by now. Spin the wheel. I'm waiting for the wheel. I could have had Lomo by now.
Spin it, spin it, spin it.
What if it lands on it?
Pass your shot.
What am I going to do?
Order it?
Well, no, I'll order it.
You get free Lomo.
All right.
Order it for everyone.
How many steps we got to take to get free Lomo here?
One spin.
No, it's on one spin.
It's on the regular wheel.
Sure go.
This would have been fine until you brought that moonshine out.
I'm just saying.
Pass your shot back over.
We don't know if I can have another one.
I thought we were having a light bubble day.
I don't like champagne.
Why did you think that?
I don't know.
I love, like, or shot drunk.
He's right.
Your bowl is great drunk.
You know that you won't stay drunk if you stop, but you're drunk right now.
Yeah, exactly.
And you're three in, so that means one more.
Yeah, no, I'm in for one more.
Fuck yeah.
Just one more.
Just one more.
Just one more for everybody.
Pass it down.
Kate and I are going to have to actually-
I think Rowan should actually just stand up and pour these.
I don't want to go past him.
No, because the moonshine is very sloppy to pour.
It's sloppy to pour.
Kate and I are going to be stuck back in the spot where we're just sighing at our desk
being like, oh, we got to soak it up.
I have a degraded me shot glass.
Give me three Stella blue pods.
Yeah.
Is this?
You guys got to get shot glasses.
Two times is not double enough.
Or actually, I have these plastic cups.
Is that cool?
Yeah.
It's going to go great for me cleaning Big Cat's trunk.
Oh, I forgot you have to do that.
Today?
Yeah, it is today.
What trunk?
Big Cat's trunk.
He's got to clean out my car.
What if he does the gallon challenge to get out of it?
You drive in every day.
Huh?
You drive in every day.
Large is here.
Have Large do a shot.
Large!
Large!
Come do a shot.
Come do a shot.
Okay.
We got some moonshine going around.
It's an apple pie moonshine.
I do not drive in every day.
I drive in when I have to do a radio hit at 5.
This will be my last shot because I did drive.
So I need at least a few hours.
Pass yours over.
Pass Kate's over too.
It's in my hand.
While she pretends to eat.
That's just a show bowl right there.
We all know it.
Whenever you guys yell for me, I know it.
You need someone to do a shot.
Apparently your cousin's a PFL fighter.
You just found out he was your cousin?
Yeah.
TJ, we're going to have to wait until like $5 million.
$4.30 so I can sober up.
Okay.
That's responsible.
Four shots. Five hours. Yeah. That's responsible. Four shots.
Five hours.
Yeah.
That's fine.
That's fine.
One an hour goes away.
What were you just doing, Lawrence?
I did Twisted History of Joe Lewis, and I got Tyson Fury in about ten minutes.
Coming in?
Oh, no.
He's fighting in London.
He's doing all his press.
We're the first U.S. people that he's talking to from fight camp.
That's pretty cool.
That is cool.
That is cool.
I heard your cousin's fighting on Friday night. Brendan Locknane is fighting
Bubba Jenkins in the PFL. Bubba Jenkins from
Penn State? Yeah, Bubba Jenkins. No way.
I said his name. That sucks because we're kind of
talking Bubba. Yeah, Bubba Jenkins.
He used to be, dude, he was my
roommate. The firefighter from
Francis' story was roommates
with Bubba Jenkins at Penn State. What?
What's going on? Bubba Jenkins is about to
get washed by my cousin Brendan Lockney.
No, he's about to get his ass washed.
Fifth cousin.
That's not a cousin.
You could fuck him.
He's very
offended. Cousin, sister, same thing.
Yeah, so I
reached out to him because my cousin hit me
and I just sent him the DM. I was like, how creepy is this?
And the guy all of a sudden turned into like the Irish fucking Vin Diesel.
He's like, family's family.
I'll come in in a second.
So he came in.
We sat down.
I had Robbie and Big Ev go and actually talk to him about the nuts and bolts.
And he'll win a million dollars.
First cousin I borrow 50 grand from.
I went down by fifth cousin.
I'm going to borrow like three to five grand.
That's fair.
Yeah, never pay him back.
Wait, so explain to us the
My father is first cousins
with his great grandmother. My father is second
cousins with his grandmother.
Third cousins with his mom. Fourth cousins with him.
So I'm fifth cousins with him.
Isn't that wild? Your father's first cousin
How do you figure that out?
I called her last night. She runs the farm in Cork.
And so his people, John, I think, Lachnane was originally a Galway guy.
And then he moved.
So he was born and raised in Manchester.
Always beautiful.
Yeah.
So my family is.
They're a delight.
Galway people, yeah.
My Irish side is Tipperary.
Oh, yeah.
Tipperary.
In the middle.
What's going on here?
Get in here.
Have one.
Come on.
You can complain about your TV.
Yeah, have a shot.
Have a shot.
All biz.
All biz.
Have a shot.
I got to complain about this TV that you haven't fixed in three goddamn weeks.
Take that in there so we can do a shot.
This is a moonshine.
It's an apple cider moonshine
Pie, nice
Apple pie, sorry
I've had shots of it
By the way, that place you sent me to in Philly was elite
Elite
Cheers
Elite
It's the best
Angelo's the best Philly cheesesteak
Jesus Christ, dude
Oh yeah, that place is awesome
It's pie and they have this
What did you get, a cutlet sandwich?
A cutlet with the Italian longhats in it.
Was it spicy as fuck?
Oh, yeah.
It hurt twice.
It hurt twice?
Yeah.
In and out?
Yeah, that's fucked.
All right.
What are you laughing at, Kate?
Brandon going through hell?
Chicken and biscuits.
Cheers, you guys.
I just know this is my mistake.
Bravians.
I'm going to just ride the buzz now.
I'm done.
That's my last one.
All right.
I don't want to have another.
If we finish one jar, we're good.
The booth has to finish.
I don't need a jar.
Yeah, the booth has to finish.
Yeah, make the booth.
Oh, God.
Jeez, Kate.
Keep it together.
Anybody got any weed?
Pliable.
By the way, first time last night, Delta 9-0, I vaped it.
I really want some.
You see an edible guy?
Yeah.
I vaped it for the last time last night.
I loved it. Nice. I'm a vape guy. Hell vaped it. I really want some of it. You see an edible guy? Yeah. I ate it for the last time last night. I loved it.
Nice.
I'm a vape guy.
Hell yeah.
Vaping weed?
Is that Delta 9-0s?
I don't know.
Was it a non-THC or something?
It's supposed to be as close as you can get to weed.
Like the Delta 8, CBD is aspirin.
Delta 8's a little better.
Delta 9, now they have 9-0.
There's storefronts in New York where you can just walk in and buy weed, and it's like cannabis.
And mushrooms.
You can, yeah, you can, well, mushrooms anywhere.
Wait, mushrooms?
You can buy mushrooms at any corner store in a chocolate bar form.
They have tables up where, by our old office, where they're selling coconuts.
Annie!
Get Annie in here.
Get her, have her do a shot.
I actually had a question that I want Annie in here for.
Yeah, have a shot.
You gotta do a shot.
We're all doing shots.
That's a question.
Six inches on the mush.
The question was, walk me through the large household on Thanksgiving because I'm sure it's fantastic.
I've never hosted.
I've never hosted Thanksgiving.
I've never cooked a turkey.
So Thanksgiving by far is my big day drinking.
Like, you know, because I'm hosting Christmas Eve, so I don't date because I have so many
people coming over at Thanksgiving.
I get in my cups probably before noon.
Love it.
And I could just run through because I'll fall asleep on the couch at four at whoever's
house we're at.
So Thanksgiving's a big boozing day for me.
That's awesome.
More so than probably St. Patrick's Day.
Thanksgiving is the biggest day drinking day for me.
And for her, too.
She's a booze bag.
Oh, yeah.
That's great.
So we're going to my brother's this year.
Love it. Anybody got a toast Beck. That's great. So we're going to my brother's this year. Love it.
Anybody got a toast?
I just did mine.
Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving.
There's big ships, there's tall ships,
there's short ships, there's small ships, but
there's no ships like friendships.
I love that.
What about honor?
If you can't come in here.
Here's to my honor.
No, no, no.
The other way.
Yeah, way around.
It's the exact opposite way.
By the way, we did West Point last week with Cons.
Yeah.
And nobody likes Cons, but he does a great job.
We went to the Army-Navy game when it was there during COVID.
And you had to, like, they weren't letting any fans in
and it was this foggy, cold day and it was only the kids
at both Army and Navy and then, like, a few people from the media.
It was one of the most, this sounds dumb, but, like,
if you're into that kind of, it was, like, a magical day.
It was, like, the coolest.
Energy is fantastic.
The energy was so insane.
It was a super foggy day. Like, it was just, yeah. The cons almost ran on the field? Cons almost ran on the coolest. Energy is fantastic. The energy was so insane. It was a super foggy day.
It was just, yeah.
The cons almost run on the field?
Cons almost ran on the field.
He almost got a penalty when he took it.
Yes, really.
Like five years ago.
We were on the sideline, and it was like a big tackle on a kickoff,
and he like, I'd say he was about 15 yards on the field.
Really?
And they were like, what are you doing, dude?
I wonder how many people go home and find him in their pictures.
Yeah.
In the background of whatever.
But it was like super, super, yeah.
I love the Army-Navy game, but that was like an extra special one.
Going to West Point, though, is better than going to an Army-Navy game.
Agreed.
I want to go.
It was.
He gave me like the full tour, too, beforehand of like, and it was, yeah, it was really cool up there.
It's beautiful.
Best high school program in Mississippi.
They do a booze cruise up the Hudson to West Point Games.
It's on my bucket list.
I want to do that sometime.
That sounds awesome.
Make sure you stay at the Thayer one weekend, too.
Oh, and a lead brunch at the Thayer Hotel.
What's the drive?
Hour and a half.
Hour and a half.
Yeah, hour and a half.
That's late.
There's like a fall foliage tour that goes up the Hudson.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I'm talking about?
You see the buses coming in with all the-
Yeah, I heard it.
You hit it right.
If Con, like the parachuters, the helicopters, he gets you on the field.
Lot C is a really good place to be.
Officers Club during halftime and like foliage on the way up.
It's really, really great football weekend.
Yes.
I think it's tough to beat.
It was an elite day.
It looked great.
I don't like to say elite too much because they put that Angelo's on the elite already.
I know.
We have said elite multiple times.
That was good.
What a great recommendation.
Yeah.
Top notch.
It is the best cheesesteak.
It's so good.
Yeah.
Chicken cutlet with the long hots.
We went out of the way on the way there to go stop at Angelo's,
and then we got to the stadium and they catered.
We wasted our time
but it was still fantastic.
The pizza,
did you get a pie too?
No,
because we were going
to Robbinsville
for the tomato pies
the next day.
Oh,
you got a tomato pie.
Yeah,
but they're not nice
in Angelo's.
Well,
down in Mississippi
we have a cool stadium too.
We also have a good time
where I'm from.
We should appreciate
that Large Nanny are here because this is the elderly yak.
Over 30.
Before you got here.
Over 30 yak.
It's the over 30 yak because we usually are hanging out with the young guys.
It's little Sasquatch's yak.
Geriatric yak.
Yeah, it's very nice.
Geriatric.
The hipness hurts my knees.
How about you guys?
Yeah, exactly.
This is probably so annoying, But I've had a couple shots
I've read the YouTube comments
I know, I'm annoying
But I
Oh, stop
I know
But I've had many shots
You guys, before I had my kid
They took me out to dinner
And I was like, how do you parent?
Like, what the fuck?
And you guys told me
And they threw me a shower
I didn't have a baby shower
And they threw me my only baby shower
Which was awesome.
Because it was like during COVID times or whatever.
Oh, no, I've had too many shots.
Damn, why are you guys so nice?
No, you just exposed the fuck out of them for being privately nice.
They're nice to my wife.
Annie is friends with my wife.
I love her, man.
Her only friend.
Thank you for saying her name out loud.
No, you're good.
No, no, no, you're good.
No, it's okay.
She would have got away with it.
You drew attention to it.
That's true.
I'm sorry.
You did, yes.
You made it worse.
It's good.
Arturo's.
And so I would take you guys.
Arturo's is your place where you get the remote, right?
I would take you guys there.
Oh, that is, right?
I order the bar.
They hand me the remote.
I have my drink ready.
The most powerful position you could ever be in the world.
Fuck being president of the United States.
Fuck being a dictator.
It's being at a bar and having the remote.
Well, it's the most, like the Venn diagram of pleasurable and powerful.
Like being president may be more powerful, way less fun.
There's no better feeling than when you ask the bartender, hey, can you change this game?
They're like, here, you just do it.
When they set up the table, they leave it there for him.
He walks in and it's there with him.
It's the ultimate power.
It'd be like the World Series.
Yeah.
The Yankees are in it, but I put on Naked and Afraid.
Yeah.
Nobody can say anything.
Yeah.
It's like corner TV.
There's another corner TV.
I would say something.
That's fucked up.
I don't care.
As the TVs wrap around, there's three others for you, but I'm Godfather 2 every time we
go.
What town is Arturo's in?
I can't find it. Midland Park. Midland Park. Midland Park. I'll have to 2 every time we go. What town is Arturo's in? I can't find it.
Midland Park.
Midland Park.
I'll have to check Google.
Well, I just have never been able to find it.
Come with us, though, honestly.
I will.
Again, I don't like you, but I understand.
It was a surprise.
I didn't know.
And Pat was like, largely invited us out to dinner.
And I was like, I don't know.
It was like during the weird COVID time or whatever.
And I was like, I want to go, but blah, blah, blah.
And I went, and had like this whole setup.
They were like the King Ding-a-lings of the back of the restaurant.
You guys are King Ding-a-lings.
They really were.
Add it to the resume.
You know what?
I've always wanted to be a King Ding-a-ling.
41 Central and Midland Park.
Yeah, it was so good.
It was so good.
There's other great restaurants.
I just looked up Arturo's.
You're looking for a place.
You're looking to have a regular place.
You've said that a couple times.
I settled on the Allendale Steakhouse.
We just went there the other night.
Delicious, isn't it?
They do a nice job.
So like RP Prime and Mahwah.
A BYO steakhouse though?
Allendale Steak is a little old school.
Like they treat you right.
Awesome.
Which one?
It's a BYO.
Allendale Steakhouse.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So we can go in there, bring a bottle of vodka,
a bottle of wine, and so it turned.
I think we brought a sake we didn't get to.
Yeah, because we're out of sake.
We just had one.
Did you?
We just finished our sake.
A little bit.
I don't know if you can tell.
Good.
They're dangerous, right?
Are we done with the apple pie moonshine?
No, we got one more to go.
Let them have it.
One more if you want.
If you want.
I thought that you were fishing, Brandon.
Oh, I just.
Come on, Brandon.
I almost feel like Brandon needs a whoopee.
He could use a little blanket to snuggle up with.
You look very relaxed.
Show her what you've got under.
Heavy eyes.
I'm wearing Spanx underneath.
Are you?
Yes!
Holy shit.
That's nice.
That's a move.
Yeah, it is.
He stole it from me.
I didn't steal anything.
You have one on now, too?
You?
Are you wearing one? Yes, she is. I want one. Marge, you've got to get into this. He's also fat. Oh, it is. He stole it from me. I didn't steal anything. You have one on now, too? You? Are you wearing one?
Yes, she is.
I want one.
Marge, you got to get into this.
He's also fat.
Oh, my God.
There's no better feeling.
That's not a shot.
The way I tell people.
Marge, you got to be a Spanx boy.
Like, how much money would it cost to go to the gym, get a trainer, six months, eat right?
I'm ordering it now.
How many bucks on Amazon?
I'm ordering it now.
I'll show you the pair.
That's fantastic.
You actually have to put it on, though.
Why are you calling it a pair?
I'll wear it.
Do you have an extra one? I'll put it on. The are you calling it a pair? Do you have an extra one?
I'll put it on.
The only problem with it, and I'll say this right now, Large, you've got to get over this.
You do have to put it on like a dress.
You can't put it on over your head.
You've got to put it on like a shimmy.
Step into it.
Like a girdle, not a dress.
It's a girdle.
By the way, one of the biggest things I get whenever I do this.
Let me see the back.
Oh, my God.
Oh, we're just going spanksy?
Oh, wait.
Look at the box in the front.
Holy shit.
You got the seam. They at the box in the front. Holy shit, you got the seam.
They have the box in the front.
I thought it went under your ass.
I really thought that it hooked under your...
Now wait, I gotta ask a question.
When you sit, does it roll up?
Do you ever have that happen?
It rolls up like a scroll over you?
Yes, I know what that's like.
Holy shit.
It's like going scuba diving.
It's the part that's very emasculating.
Oh, he's got the dance.
You do look very ultra slim and minimalist, though.
And you know what's crazy?
That's what Ridge Wallet is like.
Yes!
Ridge Wallet is an ultra slim, minimalist wallet.
It holds up to 12 cards plus room for cash.
There's over 30 colors and styles styles including carbon fiber and burnt titanium. It's made
with RFID blocking technology
that protects you from digital pickpocketers.
Hold on. Do they also have like
a key ring? I didn't want to say anything
but they do. Oh shit.
They do. You weren't supposed to say that but they
actually do. They do. They have a new key case
to help organize your keys. It secures anywhere
from two to six keys.
And if you're a lady who's had too much to drink,
and you're like, where's my keys?
Moonshine.
It is Ridge Wallet.
It organizes your keys into a compact silhouette.
Speaking of compact silhouettes, my goodness.
That's what that'll do.
Fantastic.
And fold out for easy access.
Get the best offer at ridge.com slash yak
and save up to 40 through december 22nd
i really do use ridge wallet and the key compactor so ridge wallet you got my son one it's great it's
a delight yeah got in the alabama colors there you go by the way uh you guys would mention alabama
a couple weeks ago and there was maybe a young nobody did who said there wasn't a lot of guys
there roan says what about largest kid he's the rizziest yeah he is the way that went right through and there was maybe a young lady or something who said there wasn't a lot of guys there.
Roan says, what about Large's kid?
He's the rizziest.
Yeah, he is. That went right through.
Went viral down in Alabama.
I think it helped.
It hit.
It helped, yeah.
I know that he's surrounded by a light harem at all times
and he has like a half dozen at all times.
You're saying Roan got your son some pussy?
Time.
I'm saying he probably doesn't need it.
Unfortunately, big time.
He didn't need it. Yeah, he did not need any help. When we met him out some pussy? Time. I'm saying he probably doesn't need it. Unfortunately, big time. He didn't need it.
Yeah, he did not need any help.
When we met him out in Vegas?
Yeah.
He was in Vegas, right?
Oh, yeah, Canelo fight.
He was at the Canelo fight.
He had war stories already.
He was about two months into college, and he had war stories.
I get told how much he looks like you all the time.
All the time.
All the time.
He's significantly more handsome.
Ron's the cutest boy at Bristol.
Apparently, he's the cutest boy at Bristol. Roan's the cutest boy.
Apparently, he's the cutest boy at Alabama because every time I post a picture of Mick,
everyone's like,
I put up this little Christmas picture of us.
The kid is Roan?
On the far right.
And that's, yeah, Mick.
And they say that's a young Roan.
I've gotten about 15 DMs about him.
It is a young Roan.
Howdy lips.
Are you worried that he's a jinx?
Who?
No, not at all.
He's got plenty of,
and to be honest with you,
I mean, Alabama's having its worst season.
He's a big basketball guy, so I'm not.
Oh, Nate Oates is a fraud.
Yeah, wait till Nate Oates starts.
Get Rico in here.
Let's do a show.
I actually like Nate Oates, but Rico's made me hate Nate Oates.
Yeah, he's changed.
He's got four seasons, right?
I mean, so it's about three now.
It goes fast.
So now to use the men's room with that, do you have to roll it up?
No, no.
It only goes right around.
It stops right there. But you tuck it though.
Brandon's leaving. He's not coming back.
He's not coming back. Yeah, there's no chance.
He looked like a
wallow bear eating
bamboo. He just had
heavy eyes with a smile on them.
He needs a roll with butter
with his shots. He's a baguette with butter.
He's going to go find some weed and then fall asleep until Thursday
His shirt is up and he's scratching his back
Straight to troops
We'll be no Brandon Walker show tonight
Yeah the Brandon Walker show has been cancelled
Unfortunately it's been cancelled
France is losing?
Can we get an update TJ?
It's 1-0 Australia
No can we get an update of our World Cup standings?
Oh, yeah.
So, Roan might have to go to Iran.
Iran?
Really?
You know, you had it right the first time.
Iran.
You might have to go to Iran.
Does the lovely Mrs. Frohn know about this?
Yeah, she was like, you're not going.
And I was like, babe, I don't think you know about the yak.
Yeah, the wheel kind of says I got to.
Wait, we still have to spin the wheel.
Oh, yeah.
Are you serious?
Let's spin it now.
Let's spin it now
so we can maybe get
Brandon back in
in case some crazy shit happens.
I feel like five minutes in.
It'll probably be dry.
It'll be dry now.
If we had spun it earlier,
it would have been
something treacherous.
Uh-oh.
It's Lomo Saltado.
It's Lomo Saltado.
Oh!
Go get Brandon.
Oh, my God.
You got to go get him. You got to go get him. You got to go get him.
You got to go get him.
You got to go get him.
Where did he go?
He just went down the hallway to go.
Oh, my God.
I'm mad that we spotted without him.
How come he's not wearing one of these girdles?
Brandon?
Yeah.
Oh, he is.
He is.
He has one on too?
Yes, he has.
See?
I didn't see it.
No, I didn't see it.
No, he's got a full girdle on.
He's just really fat.
I'm going to grab one.
Yeah, I have one at my desk.
Can I get one?
Yeah, yeah.
Girls can wear those too, you know.
Yes.
After we have babies, they give us those like...
You say that like...
Yes.
I'm pretty sure it was made for...
For women.
Yeah, exactly.
No, no, no.
Like the one...
No, I've stolen your culture.
Not the one you have.
The one you have is a lot...
Oh.
For the fellas.
I should show you the one they gave me After the babies it didn't look like that
What did it look like?
It was like this thick
And it's got Velcro
And you have to actually wrap yourself in it
Like a casing it's really bad
Look at this guy
I can't believe that happened
It's a great thing
He's like something out of peanuts
Brandon
I love it We hit Lomo Seltano I've been looking at each other saying, look at him, Ruvine. He's like something out of peanuts. Brandon, we...
Steak, fries, and rice.
I love it.
We hit Lomo Saltado.
I'm not fucking with you.
Look at it.
And I just ordered five of them.
Did you really?
Yes.
Woo-hoo.
Sit back down, Brandon.
Great dish.
Because I had already ordered mine
because y'all took so long.
Oh, no.
It was Lomo Saltado? You so obeyed the wheel. It cost me $38. Great dish. Because I had already ordered mine because y'all took so long. Oh, no.
It was Lola Sultano? She just obeyed the wheel.
It cost me $38.
It took so fucking long to get to the wheel.
That didn't actually happen.
Y'all are messing with me.
Oh, it did.
Play it back.
I will tell you that.
Do you understand that?
That's what happened.
Play it back.
We knew it was going to be a Sultano day.
Rona's been telling you it was going to be Sultano.
But you didn't spin the wheel.
It took forever to spin the wheel.
Whose fault is that?
You kept saying, let's spin the wheel.
Let's spin the wheel.
You never spun the wheel.
Spunt it.
Spunt.
It was Spone.
The wheel was Spone.
Where are you guys about to go in five minutes?
Tyson Fury.
Oh, nice.
Tyson Fury, Derek Chisora.
Not Zoom, right?
Yeah.
What's up with his cousin or nephew or whatever?
Tommy?
His brother.
That's his brother?
Tommy's his brother, yeah.
He is a terrible boxer.
Unbelievably bad.
Oh, my God.
Unbelievably bad.
That was our biggest takeaway from the Jake Paul fight when we did in Cleveland.
Yes.
Dave and I walked away being like, if Tommy Fury ever fights him, unload the house.
By the way, so our last thing together where we did Canelo Triple G,
the last thing you had said to me was,
Large, your whole reputation resides on the fix.
And it was the week you went 0-11.
Yes, yes.
You tried going 0-11.
Yes.
And I went 3-1 that night.
That's true.
Nobody mentioned it.
Saved me, yes.
But Big Cat was like, if you fuck this up, you're going to be massacred.
Yeah, because Canelo, I mean, we went to one Canelo fight that lost, me yes but cat big cat was like if you fucked this up yeah no i massacre yeah yeah because
canelo i mean we went to one canelo fight that lost and it was just like it's over for you yeah
so it's over who lost of the of the four uh out of the undercard i think i had um i can't even
remember it's all a blur yeah yeah but uh and that was a great night too i hope he never fights him
again and now canelo is going to take a little bit of a break with a hurt hand,
so he's probably not going to fight until at least the spring.
Tyson Fury's coming up on, I think, December 3rd.
We're on Ryan Garcia anyway, though.
We see a Tank Davis, so it's going to happen the second half of 2023,
and that's going to be probably one of the biggest fights that boxing can make
against two guys that I don't believe in either of them too much.
You're a Ryan Garcia guy. boxing can make against two guys that I don't believe in either of them too much. Like, it's a lot.
You're a Ryan Garcia guy.
Well, I am, but Gilly's a big Gervonta Davis dude. Yeah, absolutely.
Did the wheel really come up, Lomo?
Yes.
Yeah, it really did.
We'll play for you.
Tyson Fury, how long did he pretend to be retired?
I'll eat both.
Three, four months.
I love it.
Boxers pretending to be retired is one of my favorite bits.
Because they just never...
He covers out of retirement, writes a book, has a Netflix special, launches an energy drink.
I mean, he's anything but fucking retired.
Look at that.
Brandon, that was the wheel.
Oh, that looked electric.
I got to ask, do you guys just comment on everybody that walks by? Pretty much. Like a hen house. I wish I knew. This is fantastic. Oh, no looked electric. I gotta ask, do you guys just comment on everybody that walks by?
Pretty much.
Like a hen house.
This is fantastic.
Oh, no, yeah.
The helmet guy was a bonus.
The helmet guy?
I don't think they know about that.
They weren't here for that.
Ivan the Terrible.
He was all right.
Hey, finish your mush bowl.
What is that?
Is that a playa bowl?
You bought your mush
and you barely touched your mush. Is it a playa bowl? You bought your mush and you barely touched your mush.
Is it a playa bowl?
Playa bowl's good.
I like the Pacific green bowl, but I like to tweak it a little bit.
What's the bowl with the, fuck, what's it called?
Okay.
Yeah.
What is it called?
That's delicious.
Okay.
Okay bowl.
No, no, no.
Okay.
With the chocolatey shit.
Nutella bowl.
No.
No, no no
Chocolatey ball
I know what you're talking about
It's purple
Yeah
It's like purple slop
Acai
Acai
I got on that for a while
And I was like
I'm being healthy
And someone was like
Dude that's got like 10,000
Yeah that's soft serve ice cream
Yeah
Like the Pacific Green Bowl
No I haven't fasted in a while
I'm
I'm
Now that
This is interesting isn isn't it?
Hey, Thanksgiving is always, uh, like the stopping point in my brain that like the hardcore
football season ends because college football wanes away.
So I'm, I'm going to try to make my return to the gym.
I haven't been in the gym.
I'm playing basketball tomorrow.
That's big before Christmas.
I haven't played basketball in like two months, so I might die.
It might be, this might be the last year. Oh, you played yak basketball like two months, so I might die. It might be the last year.
You played yak basketball two weeks ago.
I almost died. What do you hate on the Thanksgiving
table? Like, I hate the bird.
I think the bird is just disgusting.
Good question.
I hate the turkey. Yeah, me too.
It's just... Turkey is
dry as hell. I got another
jar of it. You got another jar
of what? God damn it, Rome.
I do think that Thanksgiving you should eat steak, not turkey.
Because it's just better.
You know what he makes me?
He makes me my own sweet potato casserole
like two days before.
So tonight or tomorrow I'll get just a sweet potato casserole
with marshmallows.
He does.
Imagine me cooking.
24 years.
I thought you were a bad person. Look at you. Imagine me cooking. It would be terrible. 24 years. Trying to think what's the worst thing on the face.
I thought you were a bad person.
No.
He's wonderful.
Brussels sprouts.
Really?
Is that me?
You know what?
That's the only thing I can make outside of chicken cutlets.
Really?
I do a great job.
My kids actually eat them.
Wow.
Mac and cheese at Thanksgiving I don't think belongs.
Are you pointing at me?
That's probably, I agree with that.
I agree with that.
Fair enough.
Lasagna before mac and cheese.
On Thanksgiving?
Lasagna on Thanksgiving.
She's a side dish, lasagna.
He's gotten fat.
I don't want to tell her.
She should get her on Spanx.
He's the cutest.
Now, Kate's going to whip your ass.
She almost killed KB for saying.
Well, he didn't say fat.
He said, ugh.
Oh, my God.
He had that side dish.
What?
Nobody saw me prank her. I had one of his fat. He said, ugh. Oh, my God. He had that sign. Nobody saw me pregnant.
I had one of his kids.
I walked by, and I heard him through the glass go, ugh.
It was like a visceral, ugh.
I forgot about that.
And I turned, and I said, what?
Did you find that, TJ?
And KB went, sorry.
I gave birth to toddlers.
Look at his head.
I know.
I know.
Honest to God.
Kate, I was on KB's ass that day.
Thank you.
I think I was too.
In your honor.
I was like, no, bro, you can't say that.
You can't do that.
Large Nanny, thank you guys.
You're the best.
That was fun.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Have a great Thanksgiving.
I don't get a kiss?
Nanny's the best.
Big Cat needs a kiss.
Saudi Arabia soccer team is kissing each other, and we can't all get kissed.
Give him a kiss.
Spank, yeah, yeah, you can.
Andy, I love you.
You're the best.
Happy Thanksgiving.
All right, see you.
She really is the best.
God, I hate both of those people.
You should have tried to tongue kiss her.
Worse.
Why do you hate them, Brandon?
I don't understand. I don't know who. Them two have tried to tongue kiss her. Worse. Why do you hate them, Brandon? I don't understand.
I don't know who.
Them two.
Oh, I like them.
People from the northeast.
They're nice to my wife.
You guys are a similar ideology.
My wife.
And he's my friend with my wife.
My wife.
They're lovely.
Are you guys more likely to be friends with people who have the same ideology as you guys,
or does it not matter?
I think we're more likely to be friends with people that just show effort to being our friends.
Yeah, if you just don't care enough.
When you got kids, it takes effort to be friends, and then you have to actually put it forward.
I have good friends who are like, I have no idea what the fuck their ideology is,
because they don't live online like me.
I haven't seen my friends in a while.
I don't know, but I love hanging out with them.
You should call Matt.
I'm trying for the best.
Call Matt now. All right. Call him right now. Get him on speaker best call matt now all right call him right now get him what do you mean wait wait wait oh me and matt
warren saw a ufo steven that's my that's my wait you've seen a ufo oh 1995 buddy i saw one you're
you're years behind me what was it like it was like a bright green flashy thing that that slowly
went in the sky and then poof, took off.
And then disappeared, right?
Yes.
Were you not here yesterday?
I didn't listen to it, but that's exactly what me and Matt Warren saw in 1995.
Wait, what?
We were in his Nissan hard body truck.
We just played basketball at Zuber Park.
Yeah?
We were leaving and we were going to my house to play Sonic the Hedgehog.
That's a good day.
Yeah.
That is a great day. That's a fucking awesome day.
Perfect, perfect day.
It's a great day.
Yeah, we played ball at Zuber Park once.
Play ball until you're tired and then go play video games.
His mom was heating up pizza rolls while we were on the road.
Yeah, the Totino's were on the grill.
We didn't have the money for pizza rolls.
Or video games.
No, I had a Sega Genesis.
That's lit.
Yeah.
Huh?
It was good.
It was good.
Okay.
Sega Genesis. We were going to pretend in my cardboard box it was shaped like a TV. Yeah, they were. Yeah. Huh? It was good. Sega Genesis.
We were going to pretend in my cardboard box it was shaped like a TV.
It was going to be the game.
I was going to be the...
It was right outside Zuber Park looking out west from Highway 45.
Matt Warren will tell you.
And he doesn't lie.
Everybody knows that.
Well, call him.
Okay.
Who am I calling?
Matt Warber.
Matt Warren.
What's up, Steven?
You got a little glassy-eyed look.
I wear glasses. Oh little glassy-eyed look. I wear glasses.
Oh, glassy-eyed.
I mean, I guess that was a good response.
Fair response.
He means you look moonshine.
Fair response by you, Steven.
What's up, Steven?
You look like you're wearing glasses.
Bitch.
Oh, yeah.
I wear glasses.
Hey, Matt.
Hey.
It's Brandon Walker.
Hey, Brandon. You're live on a show you're live on a show
i am yeah so what we saw ufo can you explain the ufo that we saw
uh sure we were riding down Highway 45 at this point. Yep. Rockland Super Park.
Yep.
And we looked up and there was a UFO with a green glow around it going across the highway.
Right.
And it kind of disappeared over the trees.
And it was like a disc or something. I don't really...
And you don't lie.
No, I never tell a lie.
I've never told a lie in my life.
And I lie a lot.
That is true.
Okay, bye.
Oh, wait.
But that's your buddy.
That was Matt Warren.
Holy fuck.
Wait.
Zah, Jay, and Brandon Walker have all had alien encounters.
No, I didn't say it was alien.
I just said we didn't know what it was.
Well, a UFO.
Unidentified. And we didn't speak the, I didn't say it was alien. I just said we didn't know what it was. Well, a UFO, unidentified.
And we didn't speak the rest of the night.
It was weird.
We just were in silence.
And Matt Warren doesn't lie.
Are you sure that one of you guys just didn't give one or the other a hand job?
No, because Matt Warren... Your lone gay encounter?
No, because Matt Warren doesn't lie.
You guys had a gay encounter?
Maybe that's what it was?
No, that was Alan.
The third kind.
The third kind.
Or the first kind. Matt Warren doesn't lie. was Alice. The third kind? Or the first kind?
That one doesn't lie. Dick on dick?
Dick on dick of the first kind?
He's Church of Christ.
He can't lie.
I've gotten a bunch of DMs from people that have said that they've seen,
one guy or two guys specifically,
that they live right by airports,
and they see planes taking off and landing all the time,
and they've seen some weird shit that is absolutely not a plane.
So you think aliens are using our airports?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Yeah, like if they needed a place to land, why not have a strip?
But you always see alien ships landing in like a hover sit-down form as opposed to a landing strip.
I was saying the conventional idea of how an alien ship lands isn't a skid, but more of a descent.
You know what I mean?
How do we know how alien ships land?
Y'all have seen them.
I mean, the one I saw didn't land, and it's similar to you.
And that video that Kate talked about.
Yeah, just fast acceleration, disappear.
Me and my friend Matt Warren saw a UFO.
Call him.
Call his ass.
What's up with your friend?
How's your friend Baron Davis doing?
Baron's good.
He lives in LA.
I never saw him at the Super Bowl.
Yeah, he stood me up.
He's about 6'8", though.
He's easy to stand.
Baron's good.
We're kind of cousins, but we're not really.
We're really just friends.
We're cousins with cousins.
Doesn't matter. Let's move. Ant glass radio room and i just heard somebody only one person in there
go oh ew You haven't had that baby yet? You can just say, what the fuck is that?
What an asshole.
You can tell that's also, that's the maddest Kate gets.
She's just laughing at me like, what an asshole.
And also look at the change in color from her interview to when she's in the studio.
Like pretty normal human color in the interview
and then in the...
Look how red.
Red and like pissed off.
Like red with...
You had every right to be pissed.
With motherly rage.
The baby boy.
Yeah, that's like, that's Kate just being like,
you are a piece of shit, I hope you die.
That's way worse.
That's way worse.
If it were manufactured.
What happened after that?
Oh, yeah.
You guys made him apologize.
Look at her.
I didn't think it would.
It wasn't funny.
It wasn't funny.
It wasn't funny at all.
Like, you can see it's pooping.
I don't know where that's going.
Oh, KB.
All right. So the Lomo is scheduled to be here at 2.55.
2.55.
We'll eat the Lomo.
No, we'll end the show with the Lomo when it gets here.
Exactly.
I'm waiting for y'all's Lomo?
Yes, no, you're waiting for our Lomo.
Come on, Brandon.
I'm going to pee.
Get a shot then.
You have to come back.
He doesn't have to pee.
I do have to pee.
You already peed.
I know.
Go, France.
Go, France. That's my team.
So go back to the update.
I didn't look at all.
Brandon has a rope belt on.
He does.
All right, so Sass is crushing it.
Nick, weirdly, with Argentina losing,
is kind of a weird, like, out of nowhere.
But Uruguay will score.
Yeah, he's got a loaded roster.
On the bottom here.
But none of those teams have played.
Poland played.
Mexico played.
Oh, man.
Is Oz going to be all right?
Oh, you're doing well.
I'm averaging.
Iran having two goals was huge for you.
Well, Denmark putting up a goose egg.
Yeah, but they got a point.
But no, that doesn't help the goals scored.
No, but if they keep going.
No, no, they'll advance.
And this is going to come down to which teams are in the actual tournament.
Right.
In the bracket, rather.
Right.
And how many teams you can advance.
Anybody that has two teams advancing should be good.
Anybody that only has one advancing
on the chopping block. If you wind up with
no teams advancing, you're going to
a country. You're in trouble.
But Iran scoring two goals, that's big.
Yeah, Denmark
scoring zero. I mean, like we said before
you came in, it averages out to a
goal a game, which is the same that
KB's at with the US and Wales
having a 1-1 draw.
It's the same type of shit.
Are we really going to a country?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I asked Arya, whose parents are, or at least his mom is Iranian, and I was like, would
you go with me?
If it came down to it, would you go with me?
And he's like, I'm scared that if I went,
they would hold me behind
because I'm Iranian
and they're,
like,
he thinks it's bad
and he has family there.
He's the least biased.
You didn't pee.
I did pee.
Went straight to the bathroom.
Let me smell your dick.
Yeah.
Let me smell your dick.
Might be drip on it.
All right,
so smell your drippy dick.
You did have a big drip, dick pants the other day so smell your drippy dick. You did have a big
drip dick pants
the other day.
I'm a drip guy.
He did have a huge...
Like Liam Neeson.
Liam Neeson is the
biggest drip guy
of all time.
Really?
Have you never seen
the like quadrant
of pictures of
Liam Neeson
after his post-P drip?
He has like
massive inner thigh
stains of just...
Thigh.
Prime scene.
Yeah, oh,
I mean he's definitely Coke canning up. Okay. Pepsi'm just... Thigh. Crime scene. Yeah, oh, I mean,
he's definitely...
Yeah.
Coke canning up.
Okay.
Pepsi can, however you want.
Really, I had a big drip
the other day.
I mean, remember we all...
You usually cover it up.
Literally, we all talked about it.
Oh, that's right.
Remember there was a whole
group conversation
about how bad it was.
Yeah.
That's not, like, an exaggeration.
There was, like, seven people
talking about how bad
your pee pee drip stains were.
You get older, the pee just doesn't act the same way.
You've got to really jiggle the...
Jiggle the handle?
Jiggle the penis.
You can jiggle, jiggle, jiggle.
It's still going to keep something for itself.
It's not that hard to take a little bit of toilet paper and just boop.
Oh, that's...
I'm not a woman.
Right on the tip of your penis?
Yeah, why is that so hard?
I'm not a woman.
Well, urinals don't have toilet paper.
I just Medea'd.
Urinals don't have toilet paper.
I just Tyler Perry'd on your bitch asses.
That's what the moonshine does to me.
Okay.
Are you guys over the top or through the hole?
Through the hole.
It depends on what type of underpants I'm going with.
Oh, it's underpants.
Because like Tommy John's, some other brands don't have a through the hole.
Flap, yeah.
Yeah, rowback joggers don't, but they're so comfortable.
But if you have that option, what's your hole?
Through the hole.
Oh, really?
I'm over the top if I have the option.
Well, if I don't have to unbuckle a belt, I'm going over the top.
I feel like over the top just seems easier
than fishing around for it.
No, but that's where you pee on yourself the most
is when you...
Because you almost strangle the damn thing.
Yeah, you get a little pressure on the undercarriage.
Every now and then in a public bathroom,
I like to just go all the way pants down.
Wait, you think you get more...
That's fun.
...pants under pants if you go over the top?
Yeah, because you put pressure on the penis.
You pull it all the way down. He's about to have a thesis on this. When you pull over the top? Yeah, because you put pressure on the penis.
You pull it all the way down. He was about to have a thesis on this.
When you pull it through the hole, it's got no pressure.
It can just get...
Just flap your penis over?
What are you laughing about, Kate?
I just...
Sorry.
I'll flap my balls over, bro.
I'll throw my whole shit out.
You put your balls over?
Yes.
I will, so there's not pressure on my...
You just go penis over?
So there's not pressure cutting my shit off.
You go over every time?
I don't know now.
Steve, I go penis only.
All right, let's all pull our dicks out.
I go penis only.
Penis only.
You too, Kate.
I go penis only.
Oh, yeah, I guess I do.
With sweatpants, but with jeans, I go through the hole.
Cut the stream, TJ.
TJ, TJ, TJ, TJ, TJ.
TJ, no.
Wait, you do that with jeans?
Well, with Mugsy jeans are easy, because Mugsy jeans are so light and comfortable.
You just grab, you cup your whole, I like, I bring the whole package out.
Go down and get it, yeah.
Yeah, you fish for the package and you bring it out.
Big Cat, can I say.
With jeans and stuff, I go through the hole.
Big Cat, can I say how good you've looked since you made the switch to flannels?
And Spanx.
I mean, the flannels has really just elevated your style. I got to say something about the Spanx. I mean, the flannels has really just elevated your style.
I've got to say something about the Spanx.
I'm loving the flannels.
It just makes me, I don't know.
You look great.
You look great.
You should fill a closet with them.
Here's the thing, too.
That's you.
People are like, oh, they're comfortable.
I'll buy some.
Feel this.
Feel this.
No free ads.
Oh, my God.
But Faraday flannels, their sweatshirt.
Wait a second.
Okay.
Oh, God damn it.
And their sweatshirt flannels, they're sweatshirt. Wait a second. Okay. Oh, God damn it. And they're sweatshirt flannels.
They have elasticity in them, but they're also super soft.
I'm going to go get one now.
Is there one in your pile?
No.
I'll get one.
They're expensive.
Why would he put one in his pile?
He's going out of his way to buy them.
You know, when I copy him, he just leaves them along for me,
and I eventually pick them up.
Go to my pile and grab a few things, and then you're me.
That's how I become Dan.
France 2-1.
Okay, let's go France.
TJ, can you add something to my wheel?
Who's France playing?
Australia.
TJ, I want to add a minute of genuine compliments to my wheel.
Everybody or just one?
No, just a compliment show.
One concentrated person.
It should be a whole show. One concentrated person.
It should be a whole show.
Well, but I think a minute of genuine compliments of having to really...
I like that, actually, yeah.
Maybe that's a wheel within a wheel
of one person that has the compliments.
You want to try that out now?
Put it on the main wheel.
Well, that's why, I mean, I felt,
I was thinking about it this morning on my own.
Put it on the main wheel.
A minute of genuine compliments?
Yeah, yeah.
Put compliments on the main wheel.
Yeah, we'll do it once.
One minute of genuine compliments? Yes. A full minute. We go main wheel. We'll do it once. One minute of genuine compliments?
Yes.
A full minute.
We go all the way around?
All the way around.
Everybody has to do everybody?
Yes.
Oh, I think that everybody has to get it once.
Oh, I think everyone has to do everything.
Everyone should match up.
Yeah, match up.
I think match up is the best.
Because if another person has to compliment someone twice, they'll repeat compliments.
Oh, they'll be like, yeah, just like he said, like you're a great parent.
Oh, you're right. You're good. You're really handsome. I don't know how you wear these spikes every day. They'll be like, yeah, just like he said, you're a great parent. You're really handsome.
I don't know how you wear these spanks every day.
They're so comfortable. What were you going to say,
Ron? You're saying they're not comfortable.
I can tell you're starting to get uncomfortable.
You just look good as fuck.
That was my basis for my minute of genuine
compliments. I've got a few others.
Can you do us a favor? I'm not looking.
It's not like that.
Can you take it off right now and fling it and just be very comfortable?
I feel like that would be a...
You want me to take the Spanx off and be very comfortable?
Take them off.
You're not a Spanx guy.
Yes, I think you should.
I'm not looking.
I don't care.
You know what, Brandon?
Unfortunately, I think you're too fat for Spanx.
Yes, I didn't want to say anything.
You know those hay squarbles you see in the field wrapped up in the white and they're
going to burst?
He's too fat for Spanx.
Spanx can't save him.
I'll take
the spanks off but i you want me to twirl it like a strip i don't care i don't know i just imagine
you're gas i'm comfortable like a helicopter i'm good i feel fine i feel like 10 pounds of shit in
a five pound bag right now so you're too fat for spank i feel like i'm stuffed in here pretty good
you've been squirming for what was the the size of the Spanx? 2X.
He's too fat for the Spanx. Oh, that's a pale.
That's a color that's...
Let yourself out.
How are they the same color?
It's not a natural color.
Let yourself out.
Startling.
Take it out.
I'm not looking.
Take them off.
Go ahead.
Too fat for Spanx.
You tried.
Buy the Yak sweatshirt in Varicose color.
Give me my Spanx back.
It'll match your veins.
Can I just sit in Spanx for a while?
Yeah, sure.
That's some porch sitting.
You do look good.
You look like your wife beater style.
Yeah, no, and it looks...
Shotgun on the lap style.
What have you heard?
No, I know her.
She's all right.
I just got nervous and felt like I was supposed to be putting something in a skillet and just
fucking it.
Oh.
There you go. All right, get a shot, Brandon.
Come on. There you go, buddy. Get a shot,
bub. I've already had enough shots. You have a whole other
bit. Yeah, I got another jar. Oh my god.
I got a fresh backup jar.
Just in case.
I got a shodcast with Casey.
You said a shodcast? Shodcast.
What's Allison
and Pilar wearing?
Oh my God.
He just spilled his own water.
The water's continuing to spill in his seat.
Can I show you something?
Brandon Walker, I love the man.
I consider him actually a very close friend as much as I give him shit.
Of course.
The one thing that Brandon Walker does that will drive me insane until the day I die.
TJ knows exactly where I'm going.
The other way.
Other way.
Other way.
Over here, TJ.
My left hand.
See this?
Look at that.
Right here.
Water lean?
No.
That's not me.
That could be anybody.
There's a fucking full bottle of water with no cap on it.
I pick them up every morning.
It's insane.
Every morning is insane.
If I don't pick them up in the afternoon after Brandon shows us.
Who does this?
Why are we doing this?
Who does this?
Who opens a bottle and just leaves it open fully fucking.
Steven, come back in and get a shot for the crazy shot for the booth.
Get some shots for the booth, Steven.
Yeah, he just takes bottles, takes the cap off, and walks away.
It's crazy.
That's the thing that controls the entire show right now.
No, because we're a big have our cake, not eat it.
They always say the phrase, have your cake and eat it too.
We'd like to have our cake on this show.
But I thought, listen, you can do that once and it'd be like, oh like to have our cake on this show but i thought like listen you
can do that once and it'd be like oh okay you forgot i forget i have two shows in a row i swear
to god brandon walks into the studio every day and just opens every bottle and it's like all right
now we're ready to go it's crazy it's a crazy move is it not a crazy move it's fine i forgot
that steven shay's got cleats on. He does.
He really did do cleat week all the way without any attention on it.
I think he just wanted to do it.
He was just click clacking around on Sunday.
He was. It was so funny.
I missed.
That's the problem with some of our week.
Oh, damn.
You dropped one?
You need a freshie?
Oh, you got all three.
I feel like if I had cleat week, I'd be like.
Wait, Stephen.
We got to get...
Put on this mic.
Clit Week or Clit Week?
Clit...
Oh.
Clit Week.
Clit Week.
Oh, sorry.
What are y'all doing?
Oh, we're...
Oh, he's doing ASMR.
Oh, that does sound...
Sounds like somebody's delivering a death sentence or something.
Yeah, it sounds like a marching army.
This is definitely the beginning of a bad movie.
Or a sad movie.
What movie started off with this?
The Green Mile?
Very familiar sounding.
It does sound good, though, doesn't it?
Full Metal Jacket?
Wide Awake?
M. Night Shyamalan's first movie.
This is my rifle.
This is my gun.
This is for fighting.
This is for fun.
Remember the bridge over the River Kwai?
Oh, who could forget it?
Yeah.
You remember the song that movie starts with?
That's how they got over the River Kwai.
Mm-hmm.
Do you guys
sing that in the military?
They did that in Friends, too.
They were licking envelopes.
Mm-mm.
What do the Marines feel about, like, Full Metal Jacket
in the Marines movies? Do y'all scoff at them, or do y'all
look at them as, like, Bible?
I mean, Lower Enlisted.
We loved them. We thought it was, like... You said Lower Enlisted? That's what you thought? lower enlisted we loved them we thought it was like
you said lower enlisted that's what you lower enlisted like we're different from the officers
from whatever like people who just drop they like an officer and a gentleman right we weren't
gentlemen we were lower enlisted like a few good men we're making like 30 grand a year and we
thought full metal jack was awesome i'm making like we wanted to be the guy that went crazy and
fucked shit up okay do you have a do you have a military movie that's A, your favorite, or B, the one that rang truest and was like, that's a pretty good representation of how it was like?
Or a skunk.
Probably like Stripes of John Candy.
Was the most accurate.
They're all out of shape and like.
Fucking each other.
Yeah, that's probably the most accurate.
John Candy's a.
My favorite. Underrated actor. Yes. He was a treasure. One of my favorites of most accurate. John Candy's a... My favorite.
Underrated actor.
Yes.
He was a treasure.
One of my favorites of all time.
It's a shame we lost him.
Favorite John Candy movie, go.
Straight Outdoors.
Uncle Buck.
Uncle Buck.
Uncle Buck.
Hullo.
He trains in automobiles.
Growing up, my mom would make us pancakes on Sunday morning.
We'd be playing Nintendo before church, and she'd be like, all right, whatever batter
is left, she'd go, it's time for the Uncle Buck
and she'd make one giant
because remember when he
flips the giant pancake
with a shovel
and she's like,
it's time for the Uncle Buck
and we'd crowd around
and she'd make
a big ass pancake.
Oh, the best.
Yeah, he was in that.
Yeah.
Uncle Buck's
all the questions.
Great movie.
What's that scene
where he's asking Uncle Buck
like 50 questions?
He's like,
what's your name?
It's the scene
where he asks all the questions.
Yeah, such a good scene.
I do not like Uncle Buck.
Why? I didn't Uncle Buck. Why?
I didn't love it.
Why?
I'll tell you exactly why.
Plane Stanger's Automobile is awesome.
Everything goes wrong, and it makes you feel bad.
As a kid, it did make you feel bad.
And that's the same as Meet the Parents.
I hate movies that are calamitous, and everything.
Armageddon.
Well, don't they?
Schindler's List.
Well, don't they?
Saving Private Ryan.
I like those movies.
Oh, because you like when soldiers die?
I don't like comedies where everything feels bad.
A feel-good movie where everything feels bad,
that shit doesn't feel good.
Like Schindler's List wasn't supposed to feel good.
Mrs. Doubtfire, at least...
Titanic?
Part of Schindler's List felt good.
Titanic?
No, I don't like Titanic.
You don't like Titanic? No, I don't like it you don't like Titanic no I don't like it
but he turns it around
well they just took so long to get to the fucking point in Titanic
bro we know what's about to happen
it's true
and they're like fucking on the undercarriage of the boat
were they the first people to fuck in a car I think
no
I bet Henry Ford was
I bet Henry Ford
he probably built cars
because he wanted to fuck
on the production line
as it was going down
as it was getting built
Mabel come this way
why was he doing this?
no the floor hadn't been built yet
he was like hold on
there about
it was a daydream I just had
really slow playing that bowl game
I know
you were in a daydream?
I don't know if you could tell,
but earlier,
I'm fine now.
Earlier,
I hit like a wall.
Was a little dry.
Is that a lomos?
I got weird.
Can't be.
That might be all of our lomos.
Can you piss for me too?
Because I got to piss too.
Yeah,
I think that's a lomos.
Look how wet his ass is.
Brandon's ass is soaked.
The whole seat is wet.
The whole seat is wet.
He could have had wet
diarrhea and it would be less
densely soaked than that
ass he has right now.
That fat ass. He does.
He got a fat ass.
I think that's it.
I think that's gonna be it.
That's gonna be it.
It's been a great yak.
I saw Rico out there. I wanted to get rico in the mix
just to have some moonshine he doesn't want to though he's going so slow great pick him coming
out all time rico thinks he got it he doesn't got it yeah pick him in a funny way pick him's the
best not in a bad way pick up the timeless classic show It is three, four presidencies.
If I may tease our Chicago friends on the dog walk draft this week.
What are you going to say?
Like, oh, Eddie, I don't like your clothes?
No.
Oh.
It was revealed that.
You said tease our friends.
And I actually don't.
Big Head, I'm not sure that you know this.
What?
Rico has a family member working at Barstool.
If you know, then don't say it.
Dude.
I'm like.
Steven. What? Welcome to seven years ago. Rico has a family member working at Barstool. If you know, then don't say it. Dude. I'm late.
Steven.
Welcome to seven years ago.
Does everybody know that?
Yes.
Oh, my God, Steven.
You're the best.
Dude, and also Argentina lost. I love you so much.
I love you so much.
Steven thought he was just dropping a bomb on us.
I wasn't going to say it.
I was going to encourage people to watch the episode.
I mean, yeah, we've known that for a very long time.
Oh, they said on the show that they didn't think almost anyone knew.
I think everyone knows.
Anyone who watches Pick'Em knows.
Okay.
Sorry.
Fuck, you don't do that again.
That has bad vibes on me.
In fairness to me, now I watch every Pick'Em.
Steven, you had a tease for us?
Yes.
If you listen to this week's Barstool Chicago dog walk draft of Thanksgiving Leftovers,
it's revealed that Rico Bosco has a family member working at Barstool.
What?
Wait, at Barstool?
What?
At Barstool.
You should tune in to the dog walk.
Oh, my God.
I'm not going to reveal it.
You've got to listen or watch.
Rico and Dave are brothers?
I'm not going to say who it is, but he has a family member working here.
What?
That they celebrate holidays together.
What?
Rico's related to Dave.
But he didn't invite to his wedding.
He didn't invite to his wedding?
No, no, no.
His family member.
He's got a big family.
Oh. Okay, I got you. But family. He's got a big family. Oh.
Okay, I got you.
But I don't know who it is.
Whoa!
Damn, Rico and Dave being brothers makes so much sense.
So much sense.
Now that I see how they interact with each other, you can tell they're related.
Got years of that.
This Lomo Saltado was so good.
That was better, right, Steven?
That was better, yeah.
Here, I booth Lomo.
I think the one on Brandon's desk is the one that you ordered, not the one he ordered.
Does he have his?
All right, well, we should end the show anyway because we're going to be eating,
and that's the worst radio ever.
And this has been a good, great yak.
A good, great yak.
A good, great yak.
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who listens.
Please subscribe to the
youtube we appreciate all of you you guys are the best um tomorrow tune in 30 for 30 yak basketball
then we're back monday um yeah we appreciate the listeners so much i love i'm thankful for the yak
listeners it's crazy actually now i'm gonna sentimental, but it is crazy now having like,
you know, because it's been many years we've been doing PMTs.
It's like you see people, oh, I'm an AWL.
The fact that I now get people coming up to me being like,
I love the Yak, it's awesome.
It's insane.
It's so awesome.
And it's everywhere.
Everywhere.
People are so vocal and everybody's so cool.
It's just so deeply appreciative for people watching and listening to the show.
And everyone who pretends they have a coin always puts a fright in me.
And we just hot mouth these dudes.
We're just tongue down the throat of these fat guys.
Yes.
Yeah.
Some dude just said that to me in Max.
He's like, I got a coin.
I was like, oh, fuck.
Just kidding.
I'm pretty sure I saw a yak fan in the wild last night.
This is more rare than the UFO
I was at CVS I got my 5th COVID vax
Shut up
You're gonna get it next week dude
Steven
You got your 5th vaccine
I didn't even know they have that many
Yeah
What the fuck is wrong with you
And there was a guy who after I got it
He just gave me a look and he was like He gave me the what's up and I? And there was a guy who, after I got it, he just gave me a look, and he was like,
he gave me the what's up, and I could tell he was a Yak fan.
You are the most vaccinated man in America.
I am. I'm back to being tied with the most vaccines in America.
No, I think you're...
Because you got a secret extra one.
Yeah, I think that there are some people tied with me.
But maybe not.
Maybe I am the most vaccinated man in America.
Jesus Christ.
I told it to Hank last night during a huge blackjack hand, and it threw off the mojo big time.
Yeah, because no one gets five COVID vaxes.
Protecting my family.
I don't think I've gotten five flu shots in my life.
Are you kidding?
No.
Dude, every fall I love getting the flu shot.
I know you do.
What do you mean love?
You just know you're not going to get super sick.
He's addicted to vaccines.
You're addicted to vaccines.
Admit it.
I like being safe against viruses and diseases, yes.
You're addicted to vaccines.
You have a vaccine problem.
Steven, they have an anthrax vaccine trial going on right now?
I mean, you only get anthrax if you're like mailed it, right?
Yeah.
So?
It would be a real shame if someone mailed it to you.
I don't open my mail, so.
Oh, fuck.
Good luck.
What does that mean?
You don't open your mail?
Is that how you got your car repoed?
Shit.
Probably.
That feels like a fault in the system, Steven.
You got to at least try.
I don't open it.
He proudly announces, I don't open my mail.
Third notice.
Man who got his car, his minivan repoed.
Final notice.
And it's a system that works well.
Yeah.
I thwarted that instantly.
I don't know.
They didn't send me because I elected to go paperless.
Auto payment.
That's tough.
We're rebuilding the credit score as we speak.
Is it an auto payment or an auto payment?
Dude, a lot of people reach out to me, so the same exact thing happens to them.
The fact it killed your credit score is hilarious.
Oh, so funny.
That's not hilarious.
No, it's very funny.
It's on its way back.
It's very funny.
You're going to have to buy a new house in a more of a flood zone.
How many?
A lot.
How many?
I had very good credit.
How many?
I think I was like above 750.
I think I was like 770, and I think I was down below 600 after that.
I don't even know my credits.
You lost like 170 credit points?
Yeah. God damn, dude.
Jesus. It goes away after a couple years, but... That's what they tell you.
I don't even know how that stuff works.
No, you're fucked for life.
I don't think so.
I mean, I already have a house. Yeah, in a flood zone.
We just got
new flood insurance, too.
Great.
How much are you paying for that?
Cheaper.
Kate and Brandon have been having a whole different side conversation.
All right.
Let's end the Yak.
We'll see everyone Monday.
Thank you, everyone, for listening.
Monday?
Yeah, Monday.
Monday.
Monday.
Yeah, we'll see you Monday.
Everyone have a great Thanksgiving.
Stay safe out there.
Tomorrow, Yak basketball, 30 the scenes.
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.