The Yak - A Popcorn Day For The Ages | The Yak 4-28-23
Episode Date: April 28, 2023GIOVANI BERNARD!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. DJ, hold that up. It's the Yak.
It's the Yak.
Yes, I do talk shop.
I do Yankees.
It's the Yak.
Do you have a prep sheet?
Oh, we just have popcorn.
That was his prep sheet today.
The Yak.
Promo code Yak.
Rowback.com.
Use it right now.
20% off your first purchase.
Q-Zips, polos, joggers, and shorts.
I'm wearing some. Oh, perfect.
Rico's got it on right now.
I'm wearing some joggers right now.
Shorts are out.
Go to Roback.com.
Use code YAK.
20% off your first purchase.
The most comfortable clothes in the world.
Roback.com.
Our wonderful presenting sponsor. Hello, everyone. It's Popcorn Day. Yesback.com, our wonderful presenting sponsor.
Hello, everyone.
It's Popcorn Day.
Yes.
Rico is here.
Go.
AB is here.
Now, Popcorn Day.
Give me a brief explanation.
It's where we eat popcorn?
So Rico sat down and was like, is this one of the,
and this is totally fair on Rico's part,
because we do do very stupid things on this show.
He's like, is this one of those things where we
gotta put everything in the thing? I was like, no.
It's a Stephen Che challenge,
so it's as simple as it could be.
Everyone has to eat
a bucket of popcorn.
The last person to finish their popcorn
has to eat a second bucket
of popcorn. There's the second
bucket over there. I don't think Che has
ever, I don't think Che can
make a twist. No. Chubby Checker
would hate him. You know what though?
In all seriousness
that's a pretty good twist that you gotta eat another one.
You think that's a good twist? The twist
of popcorn is more popcorn?
The twist is
let me show you what a twist is.
Everyone eats the popcorn
and then the person who finishes last has to eat another popcorn,
and the person who finishes first has to put their dick in it while they eat it.
Yes, that's a twist.
That's the old movie.
Do you want to finish first?
It's in a movie.
No.
Yeah, it is.
Diner.
Great movie.
Great movie.
Do you want to finish first and have your dick touched? Or maybe finish second?
That's really the sweet spot.
Brandon, why is your leg going like that?
I love the way popcorn feels on my dick.
To be quite honest.
I can't say what you said.
You can say, but you're going to make fun of it.
Okay, can I just say it?
It's not making fun of it.
He said he has a train to catch today, which is still an hour and a half from now.
So he's anxious.
You better work.
You have an hour.
My girl has a softball game at 4.
The only way for me to make it is get on the 239 out of Penn Station.
If I don't get on 239, I'm not going to make it.
What did I say?
When you said that to me, what did I say?
You said better eat your popcorn.
Yeah.
If y'all throw any obstacles in front of me, I'm not going to make my girls softball.
I didn't say I was going to rain.
I just said better eat your popcorn.
It's not raining right now.
It's going to rain.
You'll be all right.
Is it going to rain?
Mm-hmm.
Why is it got so much popcorn?
This is not a nine to five.
Well.
You knew what you were signing up for.
All right.
What do you think about popcorn?
It's a 24-7 gig.
What are you thinking about mincey
you know it's uh quite something it's just can you trust people with a little bit of spotlight
on them with a little bit of sunshine you know the guy guy runs a 10k raises so much money for
charity and lets it go immediately to his head and he he ruins he ruins everything i can't believe
he didn't well no but he does three live shows a week,
so at least two of the Wake Up Minceys this week were live, right?
I hope you're sitting down.
Oh, no.
What?
There were only two live Minceys this week,
and only one of them was live.
Oh, no.
Steven, you kind of are complicit in this crime.
Did you tell him, hey, dude, this is a bad idea let's wake up with
mincey not go to bed with mincey no i didn't know that he said i was gonna be on for like five
minutes so i said hey can we pre-tape this because i have an appointment this morning i'm not gonna
wait it was your idea don't do that he mentioned that he has a thing today like a wedding or
whatever i'm already over the popcorn sound in my ear, the chewing. Oh, he's eating a brownie.
I think that's steak over here.
Okay, that's different.
Do you think it's going to be a terrible sound?
It's going to be the worst thing in the entire world, and it's going to put me into an autistic fit.
Okay.
Is there ways that we could get, like, two people talking, everybody eating?
Switch.
Two people talking, everybody eating.
Switch.
You know what I mean?
I like that.
Eating two-minute shifts or some shit like that?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I'm trying to just save the listener, but that was unbearable with Stephen Che.
That was the worst thing I've ever heard.
That was steak.
Why don't we just have one person go at a time?
It should probably take no more than 15 minutes to eat a tub of popcorn, I would think.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
15 minutes?
Yeah, I think that's fair.
To eat a tub of popcorn?
If you're trying to eat it?
How long are movie previews?
I've gotten to the bottom of the book.
Okay, but we got to do it in a way that we don't know the time.
So, TJ, can we have, can one of us sit in one of these studios?
I will swap my position for someone outside of this room.
No, no, no.
I kind of need to, yeah.
What?
I would like to.
What are you saying right now?
I don't think I can eat all this.
What?
Well, don't you...
You have a plate of steak.
I don't think I want to eat
all this popcorn.
You just ate lunch.
That's steak.
That's just meat.
That's just meat. The thing is, you have to eat the popcorn. Okay. Yeah. That's steak. That's just meat.
The thing is, you have to eat the popcorn.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right, so let's just have TJ have one of the people go in.
Theological side.
What if we just eat the popcorn?
Why are we at?
No, no, no.
Look, watch.
Steven, go in there right now and start eating your popcorn,
and then we'll have you in the bottom right.
What are you making?
Why are we just eating the popcorn while doing the show?
Because Nick is going to go into an autistic fit.
I'm going to go into an autistic fit.
Me too.
I can do it anyway.
Brandon, you go in.
No, I don't want to go in.
I want to be out here with my boys eating popcorn.
I'm going to start eating this popcorn and put it on a clinic.
Have you guys seen Jerry tweeting through it right now?
Yeah.
That's pretty funny.
He's got his wisdom teeth taken out.
Jerry turned to me yesterday at noon and was like, hey, I need my wisdom teeth out.
Do you think if I get them out at 3 p.m., I'll be good for the draft?
And he's doing it like raw.
Yeah.
He's tweeting through it right now.
He's just tweeting random shit.
I think he had the laughing gas or whatever.
Laughing gas?
Damn.
Yeah, he was like putting some kind of aura gel on yesterday or something.
What's up, Steven?
What's the problem?
Got a part of the popcorn salted.
All right, so this is very easy.
Steven, you go sit in that room.
TJ, you put them in the lower portion.
TJ, you keep the time.
Don't tell us the time.
But won't we be able to figure it out just by seeing who goes in the room?
Shouldn't multiple people go in the room at the same time?
Sure.
You want to go in the room, go in the room.
So two people.
All right.
And that way we'll know officially, like, there's no way to fudge who's the loot.
Like, one person, obviously.
Right.
And TJ will keep the time.
That work?
Yeah.
No sound?
That was for the listeners right there.
We did that for the listeners.
Since Kyle's doing it, do I have to do this?
We're usually a duo.
Just one of the two of you.
Yeah.
How did you think the draft show went?
I had a blast.
It was awesome.
If you know what I mean.
I didn't realize you were drinking.
Yeah.
I was having a good time.
Every time I've just had a good time
Doing the draft show
It's just fun talking about the draft
I just love ball so fucking much
I love sports
I love football
I love my team getting new players
I love the process of scouting shit
I love looking up players
I love watching fucking YouTube
Full game highlights of players
I love the process
I could do it
every year. And
the Eagles just keep getting
They destroyed
the draft. Keep getting dogs.
Fucking exciting. Jordan Davis
last year. Jordan Davis last year.
1.7A40. Jalen Carter this year.
340 pounds, 6'6".
Crazy, right? Whoa.
Crazy. See, he loves it too. He loves the process. Oh, you did that whole analysis". Crazy, right? Whoa. Crazy. See, he loves it too.
He loves the process.
Oh, you did that whole analysis of him, right?
Yeah.
Play that.
Kyle loves doing analysis, and he just doesn't put them out.
Yeah, just for you.
I like doing like a commentary voice.
Yeah.
Like commentary humor in the cadence of a commentator.
Bob Minnery.
Not like him.
Not being a douchebag. What are they fighting about now? cadence of a commentator. Bob Mennery. Not like him.
Without being a douchebag.
What are they fighting about now?
Who's fighting?
Steven and Brandon.
What's the plan?
They're going to go in there and eat?
Yeah.
And figure out how long it is?
I thought we all do it.
All right.
I don't care how we do this. This is Steven's show.
We just got to get this fucking thing.
All right, just tell Steven.
Oh, we're going.
All right, they're going.
Perfect.
TJ, start the timer. Are we going? No, we're not. All right, they're going. Perfect. TJ, start the timer.
Are we going?
No, we're not going.
They're saying we can't go.
Maybe let's just go.
We're building ramps for this.
Let's just go.
All right, KB, you don't have to eat it,
but you have to talk the whole time.
All right.
I'm going to fucking eat it.
They're going to come back and they're going to be like,
wait, you guys have been eating this the whole time?
I'm content with just like a couple pieces.
If you don't eat either, it might be bad.
Yeah.
I was a last minute
add to the thing, so now I'm just trying to win.
I don't need to talk much.
If you come in last,
like if you don't eat it, then you just don't eat the second one.
Yeah.
I eat both.
This is a really dumb challenge by Steven.
Was it even a challenge or did he just want popcorn?
Yeah, this is.
I think he just wanted all of us to eat popcorn.
No, let's give him what he wants.
AB, you have KB's wild. That was a huge success and Steven's need popcorn. No, let's give him what he wants. AB, you have KB's wild.
That was a huge success, and Steven's got popcorn.
That's our two big ones.
My hands are so buttery.
Where do you think Mincy goes from here?
Ava has a meeting with Erica, whether they should pull the whole show.
No. Dude can't wake up. has a meeting with Erica whether they should pull the whole show. Oh.
Dude can't wake up.
He did immediately text me and said
he could call
and explain himself
if you want it.
We don't want to hear
explanations.
He texted me and goes
hey dude I saw the blog
I'm in my best friend's wedding.
I said what blog?
I'm driving.
The jersey turned white.
What blog was he
even talking about?
Did you blog something? No I was driving. Alright he even talking about? I don't know, man. He must have... Did you blog something?
No, I was driving.
All right, we should call him.
I don't know.
Somebody had something geared up.
I think...
No, because I bet you he's gone through all the...
You know, it's...
He's just a mouthpiece for, like, probably a PR firm.
Probably talked to a crisis manager.
We're not going to hear the actual Mincy.
I can't...
He just has to get up why can't we just
have why can't we hire someone else to be there to wake him up and just have a camera on him to
wake him up why not make more jobs i feel like he's a job creator at this point he'll do the
dozen from a coffee shop why can't he do it from his wake up mincey from his gate i have literally
woken up for over 10,000 days in a row.
Yeah.
Think about that.
He can't even do that.
Think about that.
10,000 days in a row.
I haven't.
What?
I don't know.
It just sounded good.
10,000.
10,000 definitely checks.
You've got to talk in the mic if you're going to talk.
365 times 30 is at least nine grand.
Am I doing that right?
What's a, how long is a million seconds?
I'm almost, I'm over 13, I'm almost 14,000 days woken up in a row.
I'll give you this, Rowan.
How many seconds in a year?
You should know this.
525,600 minutes.
Oh, fuck.
My bad.
So time's 60.
What are we doing?
I would have clowned you if you were right.
Now, Ron.
Come on, Daddy.
I love Rent.
You know who also likes Rent?
Buddha Ben.
And Nick Statt.
Really?
Yeah.
Good musical.
He relates.
Buddha Ben, he's an aficionado of Broadway. Really? Yeah. He's a good musical. He relates. Buda Ben is a...
He's an aficionado of Broadway.
He loves Broadway.
Does he?
I can't with Broadway, bro.
A million seconds is only 11 and a half days?
Go to Broadway, Ron.
I would have guessed 30 years.
I've only been once since I've been in New York.
I went recently, though.
I thought you went...
I went to...
I tried it out.
I was like, could it be so bad?
And it is.
You know they're faking, right?
They're not actually, they're just faking
the entire time. You can barely hear them.
The second movie started to be a thing, plays should have stopped.
That's how technology works.
I'm disappointed in you guys.
Oh, God. Oh, no.
Uh-oh.
You know what? I'm not ready for him.
Give him five minutes.
He can hit the snooze.
Yeah, what else should have stopped?
Like, it's unbelievable.
The telegram stopped when the phone was invented.
When bicycles were invented, we should have stopped walking.
You guys, what the fuck?
We can't go to the moon anymore?
Right?
Wait, what? Have? We can't go to the moon anymore? Right? Wait, what?
Have you seen this?
No.
Wait, so what do you think about people who insult new inventions then?
Like, if you have a dishwasher and you still hand wash your dishes.
Slap in the face.
Exactly, that's what I say.
Interesting.
It's bullshit that not all dishes...
Why do you want to stunt human progression?
Why would you want a blowjob if you have a flashlight?
Yeah.
Until women get a new mouth, then I'll stop getting blowjobs.
Women are about to be out of business.
Yeah.
We're putting women out of business.
This sucks.
This is horrible.
I haven't even made a dent, and I probably sound disgusting on the mic.
I like popcorn, and it's just not fun.
No. It's just not fun.
No.
It's horrible for a show.
Everything's sabotaged.
This is what they want, though.
They want respective wheel.
This is a respective wheel.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're so right.
They want us to respect the wheel, and then they get mad.
Are they watching us now?
Yeah.
What are they? I don't really fuck with those two anymore.
No, I don't like either of them.
We just can't go to the moon?
We can't or we won't.
Japan tried and they failed.
What?
Is that true?
You got robot dogs.
The technology was so different back then
that it would be a completely different process.
It takes so much manpower and resources.
From what I saw.
There was a robot dog in a fire the other day.
No way.
What?
Robot dog in a fire.
What happened?
Take pictures.
It's not putting out the fire, but they take pictures and shit.
Shouldn't they put out the fire instead of taking pictures of it?
After.
Oh.
Probably look cool, though.
Probably good-ass photos.
Sess or collapse, because you don't want to send guys up there, is what it is.
I was thinking that you send the robot dog in while the fire's going on.
Be like, yep, that's a person.
They're not moving.
Eliminate.
Oh, we accidentally sent the evil robot dog to this fire.
Should we just pour out half of our popcorn and just lie to those guys?
I want to dump it all.
Got to respect the real man.
Would the chat be cool with that?
I think I'm angling for the loss, and I'm just going to kind of yak,
try and do a lot of yakking, see who the best man win,
angle for the loss,
and then just have popcorn,
kind of graze on popcorn
over the next six or seven hours of my life.
I feel like that's...
So it's slowest has to do a second one, right?
Yeah.
Yes.
So have we all just agreed to not finish in time?
Oh!
And then we all tied for...
Yeah, let's all cross the finish line at the same time.
We don't have to race.
We'll do a piece a minute.
We just have to not be last.
So if we're all... You know what I'm saying? If we're all DNF, Yeah, let's all cross the finish line at the same time. We don't have to race. We just have to not be last.
So if we're all...
You know what I'm saying? If we all DNF, then we don't have to do it.
Someone's going to win.
If no one loses...
There's no prize for winning.
There's no prize for winning.
If we all did not finish, wouldn't one of those two idiots be the last person?
How's it work?
We withdraw?
We withdraw?
How can we make them lose?
Just know Rico's in it to win it.
I know Rico is.
I think we would need like a cancellation and who's ever.
How does it work in golf?
If you withdraw in golf, who's technically the last place person?
You look that up?
We gotta find some sport where it's applicable. Maybe NASCAR.
If you crash or some shit.
Full technicality.
What's the NASCAR rule?
What if we get thrown
out of the game?
They're the only two participating, so Che will come in
last. Right. What if we bump into
each other and...
Wait, are they watching us?
No.
100%.
Think so?
Unless they're watching a film.
Yeah, I mean, they're eating popcorn.
They're probably watching a movie.
They're not talking.
They're watching a nice film.
Rent, Philadelphia.
What if, like, Nick, you and I accidentally bumped into each other
and we happened to spill our popcorn everywhere?
We have to withdraw.
You'd have to get your wife to come pick it up.
Yeah, that's true.
All my kids watch.
Thanks, Reek.
Yeah, we could just spill it because I've made no progress.
Dude.
Chad has to hate this too, right?
What's Chad saying, TJ?
Why is Rico on the show?
They're with you guys.
Like, to stop?
Popcorn wild, dump it out.
Okay.
Dump half, eat some.
Oh, shit.
Oh, KB's disqualified.
He spilled his popcorn.
Dude.
So he's out.
So can you update
a leaderboard, please?
TJ?
Man, I told you, dude,
I'm not doing woe with me.
But if you guys all
like just withdraw
and I'm in this potential
where I am trying to win
and Brandon does beat me,
I'm going to get fucked.
Oh, no, listen.
KB's officially out.
Fuck, yeah.
He's been disqualified
so that he doesn't
have to finish. There's a fucking hair in mine. I'm not eating. Oh, yeah. He's been disqualified so that he doesn't have to finish.
There's a fucking hair in mine.
I'm not eating it.
Oh, yay.
Who's it?
I don't know.
Nick, let me come see your hair.
Here, stand up.
Let me see this.
Look at this.
There's like...
Oh, no!
Oh, fuck.
Oh, it's really bites.
It's bites. Oh, fuck, no. Oh, fuck. Oh, this really binds.
This binds.
Oh, fuck, Nick.
I really wanted to finish that popcorn.
Okay, Rico, we're on. Fuck.
You're going to come back in this screen.
Popcorn everywhere.
Hey, Rico, Rico, dump yours, dump yours.
Come on, come on.
All over.
Throw it in the air. Come on, dump yours. Come on, come on. All over.
Throw it in the air.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on, dude.
Go, Roan!
Stay strong together.
Come on.
It only works if we're all together.
It's like an ancient phalanx.
Come on.
I could beat him.
I could beat him.
No, come on, Rico.
You could beat him.
But it doesn't matter if you beat him. If you don't dump, you have to win.
If you don't beat him, it doesn't matter.
I want to put my dick in his popcorn.
Okay.
All right, all right.
Let's win.
We'll talk.
You eat.
Go hard.
Boys, we have the numbers.
It's four of us.
Stay strong together.
Yeah, we're staying strong.
I can't believe we...
Nick, I didn't see you there.
Yeah, I'm mad. I'm legitimately mad at you we're in a fight yeah wait i have uh some extra
you want me to bring it to you nick yeah these aren't i my these are not working
yeah so you know what go stand up and run right into the wall with your popcorn in your hand
he's going one piece at a time.
That's interesting is the one piece at a time.
Oh, shit.
He's got an extra.
Stand up, Rico.
Watch out, TJ.
His shirt got stuck on the handle.
No.
Rico, dump it, dump it.
Come on, Rico.
Rico, it already is going to suck for us that we have to clean all this up.
Join the party.
Like, we're all going to have to clean this up.
What's one more bucket?
Come on.
Rico can do it, though.
I believe in Rico.
You're on the sunk cost fallacy.
Just give up.
No, he can do it.
You check.
I needed something for PMT.
Check your phone
Go birds
Go birds
Go birds
Rico
Beat these bastards
My mouth is done
You want me to go
Throw a wrench in their shit
Should I tell them like
Five minute time out or something
No no no
They should just keep going
Because they're going to come back in
My coke guy's coming
Sorry
Oh What A cola You're not going to come back in. My coke guy's coming. Sorry.
Oh.
What?
A cola.
You're not going to be able to eat any more popcorn.
All right.
Yeah, Max, do that for me real quick.
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Thank you.
Who could have seen that coming?
Oh.
Yeah, can we throw it at each other or something?
Not Rico.
I'll throw it at one.
Rico.
Rico thinking.
Kyle, you sure you want to?
Now you're with us.
Now you're with us.
We all got disqualified.
I got you.
You got.
Well, if you want to eat more, you can eat more.
You guys did your thing, and then I still would have beat him.
So eat more if you want to.
Well, we don't know what.
I don't want to eat any more than I don't have to. I'm just having some floor popcorn.
Yeah.
Yeah. This could be great some floor popcorn. Yeah. Yeah.
This could be great when they walk back in.
So keep eating.
But we wanted to start yakking.
That's the biggest problem.
Yeah.
Talking while eating is impossible.
Can I talk about graphic design for a second?
Yeah, it's your passion.
It is.
Can we pull up the thumbnail from the draft show yesterday?
Yeah, please.
I actually would love to do that.
So I was in one of the Red Blazers.
I was the least part of the show in one of the Red Blazer men.
I love that Brandon and Jack are going to eat all the corn.
I know, they're going to eat all the corn.
This actually turned out to be the best possible scenario of all.
How fast are they going to eat?
Now, I get that you had to make Will and Roan enormous.
So, yeah, there is no room for me in the thumbnail, right?
Because you have to make Roan and Will gargantuan.
Bad picture, too.
I love that photo of you.
It breaks my heart.
That's not a good picture of you, Roan.
So we need giant Will, we need giant Roan, and then little Brandon, little Che.
That was all the room that was allocated.
Right.
Well, just five faces gets super confusing for the viewer.
And we do all look weird.
I mean, look at the rough and
rowdy i'm actually not not mad about that i just want to show that picture of a run oh that's so
fucked up fuck you by the way you know what we should do we should offer whoever finishes last
between brandon and shay you don't have to eat the second bucket you just have to clean all of this
yeah they're gonna just opt to eat the second buck you think so? Now Brandon, he's got a trade to catch
Oh, Glennie's got a curl here
Another one?
No, that one's a curl
Glennie, um
I had an interesting conversation with Glennie the other day
He was
He was like
I'm thinking about moving to Nashville
Yeah, that's where he belongs
But then I was like, so what are you going to do there?
And he's like, well, I'll live in Nashville and then I'll come back like once a month for a week and do all my interviews and do all my work and then I'll go back to Nashville.
Oh, he wasn't talking about doing his interviews there?
No, and I was like, so you're just going to like do three week vacations every month?
Essentially.
And it just stopped him in his tracks.
He was like, just tighten that idea up and maybe it makes sense.
Like if we could figure out something in Nashville,
just outright admit like I'd go to Nashville,
I wouldn't be doing my job while I'm in Nashville,
but I'll be living in Nashville.
There's ways to get around that.
Yeah, he could definitely come up with something.
He could easily pull it off.
Just don't say that.
He's got to go down there and rent a kitchen.
Yeah, bring back Boots and Burgers.
Yeah.
How do you say diaspora?
Diaspora.
Diaspora?
There's about to be a barstool diaspora.
People are just going places.
People are just trying to go to a whole new city.
Who was the first person to do it?
Random ones.
Huh?
Who was the first person to do it? Caleb?. Huh? Who was the first person to do it?
Caleb?
Caleb?
Sam?
Diaspora?
Then Caleb, then Riggs.
Yeah, he went to Scottsdale.
Forgot your first name basis.
He cried last night on the phone with him.
Yeah.
That was beautiful.
Yeah, he didn't want the Cardinals to trade down.
God damn.
Is he rooting for the Cardinals now?
Yeah.
I was all about it.
Who else was in the diaspora?
Who else fucking fled?
Is it a diaspora or a white flight?
Yeah, a white flight.
It's a little bit of a white flight.
Yeah, so Riggs.
Jordy.
I guess Frankie did go to Long Island Or Trent Gate went to Long Island
Yeah
I was going far
Caleb
Jeff D
Jeff D's gonna be out of here
He's gonna diaspora out somewhere
Coley
Coley
Jared was actually the first
Jared yeah
That was a baller move
It was
He was part of White Flight
He was
Yeah man people fucking Running from the hustle Can we listen to what they're listening to move. It was. He was part of Wi-Fi. He was. Yeah, man. People are fucking
running from the hustle.
Can we listen to what they're listening to, TJ, real quick?
People run from the grind.
Or no.
I don't think so. Okay, that's fine.
Hardcore porno.
You think he's making a dent?
They're both going to come back and be like, alright, next up.
So great.
So whoever comes in second loses.
Yeah.
This is even mean.
This is even mean.
You can't have popcorn in your hand when they come in.
They really wanted to do this.
Is Brandon coming?
Oh, no.
Brandon's going to come in and say, imagine that.
He's not going to be surprised.
Jay will say fair.
He is surprised, visibly.
He's doing the surprise gesture.
Oh, I was very wrong.
He's storming off.
He just stormed with Jay.
He said, Jay, get your ass in here.
He's showing Jay.
Oh, I feel bad.
So first one.
Oh, Jay is distraught.
He's really upset.
He's really, really upset.
I feel so bad.
I feel horrible.
We can explain this.
We can explain this.
Che, sit down in sass.
Don't step on the popcorn.
Don't step on the popcorn.
We can explain this.
We can explain this.
We can explain this.
So KB is very clumsy. he accidentally knocked over his popcorn nick and i
i didn't see him turn in the corner we hit each other max ripped the popcorn out rico's hands
and rome what here rome rome there is a gun so hammered he just dropped his popcorn
uh boys thoughts why is rome hammered i mean just dropped his popcorn. Boys, thoughts? Why is Ron hammered?
I mean, this is between you guys and the wheel.
Yeah, no, no, we know, but we, so we all got disqualified.
So it's whoever comes in first between the two of you wins.
Yeah, and then the other person has to do the, oh!
Do you want to bring Glennie's model in here and see if she notices the popcorn?
You think she'll notice?
How do you have my?
You didn't go for my popcorn... I was going to win.
I don't think we can have that.
Come on, Reek.
You got it. You could use it.
Just put it in a different container.
Put it in one of these
massive empty popcorn containers.
Yeah. Who's beating me right now?
Who is? You better hurry up
because then you got to eat another popcorn.
So the issue we realized was this is a talk show.
Yes.
And popcorn.
Wait a minute.
Why are we still eating, Steven?
Why are we still eating?
The love of the game, brother.
Oh, no.
Steven, look at me.
They have trashed all the popcorn.
Oh, we got hit.
We're still competing like idiots.
This is a very big moment.
Oh, Steven finished last.
Oh, physiological sigh.
Steven finished last.
At last.
I actually dropped it.
You got to eat two.
That's fucked up.
Actually, Brandon, yours still landed upwards.
Yours is still good.
This is bad because at the core,
Steven just wanted to do a friendship thing.
Yeah, we'll let it all do like, do a friendship thing. Yeah.
We'll do this together.
See how to go diamond.
What were you watching?
Oh, we were watching the top 100 plays of 2022
for NFL football.
Oh.
Any good ones
that you had forgotten about?
You want to go back
and finish it?
I mean, we can.
I don't care.
We don't have to be here.
Why don't you guys go finish it?
Pick up your popcorn.
You got to finish it.
Brandon,
you just spilled so much popcorn. You have to clean all of this up. You got to finish it. Brandon, you just spilled so much popcorn.
You have to clean all of this up.
You didn't spill any.
Well, you've already told me.
No, no, no.
Kyle got it.
It was clumsy.
And then Rona's hammered.
And then somehow Max took Rico's.
What happened to yours?
What happened to yours, Nick?
Me and Nick ran into each other.
You want to play this?
You can play it.
It happened on the act.
Steven, what was going through your head?
What was your mindset when you came in and saw the popcorn everywhere?
Disappointment.
Oh, fuck.
Steven, the problem is we couldn't talk while we were...
Popcorn.
We were trying to talk while we were eating.
We started eating it.
So when you guys went in there, we're like, this is dumb.
Let's also eat.
We all ate like a quarter of our popcorn. And we realized we can't talk while we're eating it. So when you guys went in there, we're like, this is dumb. Let's also eat. We all ate like a quarter of our popcorn.
And we realized we can't talk while we're eating popcorn.
Wait, why did you guys eat a quarter?
Because it was going to take forever.
It's impossible to talk while eating popcorn.
And it was going to take forever.
You guys started and were like, this is going to take forever.
We got to start.
The reason I was coming in here, I was going to tell you,
I'm only a quarter of the way through and it's 20 minutes in.
That's how much popcorn I eat. This looks like a United flight in here, I was going to tell you I'm only a quarter of the way through, and it's 20 minutes in. That's how much popcorn I eat.
This looks like a United flight in here.
Look at this.
Look at, see?
Oh, fell into each other.
Where is Nick even going, though?
He was going to show me.
He had a hair in his popcorn.
Where were you going?
Why would you walk out?
I had a hair in my popcorn, and Big Cat was like, show me.
It might be mine.
Yeah, Kyle, I think he has a spasm of some sort.
Yep, see, he's disqualified.
So he's out.
So can you update a leaderboard?
Is he visibly upset, trying to flip the pieces?
He was on accident.
He was trying to flip it back on the right side.
And then Roan also had an accident.
What are the odds of that many accidents?
I got struck by lightning, bro.
I fucking, it's in God's hands now, bro.
I throw everything out the window.
Roan!
It looks like Benny the Bull was in here today.
It only works if we're all together.
I think you might have been able to do it.
And then Rico, this was...
You would have been up against the clock.
You guys were not making it.
Rico got attacked. 15 minutes was too making a difference. Rico got attacked.
15 minutes is too fast.
Yeah, Rico got attacked.
Oh, shit.
I was committed.
He's got an extra.
Stand up, Rico.
Watch out, TJ.
Oh!
Yeah, TJ spilled it.
Sir, TJ!
His shirt got stuck on the handle.
Yeah, his shirt got stuck.
He's laughing.
It's funny.
He likes that mess.
Yeah, man.
He's got a...
No, he's laughing at me because devils have come back in that series.
This might be the best gauge of guy I would like to hang out with
if they come in and smirk at this big mess.
It's funny.
They're like, look at you guys.
Hey, go outside.
You're going to attract popcorn.
At least scrape your bottom of your feet off.
Where's Max?
See, Max just ripped Rico's out.
It wasn't Rico's fault.
It was your hands.
Yeah, Max, do that for me real quick.
Yes!
Yes!
Thanks.
Yes!
You could have seen that coming.
Listen, the wheel might get us, Stephen, but it was just,
it was a very hard thing to do while talking.
Yeah, that's okay.
I still got my popcorn.
So you're saying the popcorn wheel could have just been us buying you popcorn?
No, it would have been a fun thing to do together.
Maybe like off show and we just silently sit in a room and all eat together.
Right.
Or we all go see a movie.
Oh, what?
What did you just say?
Go see a movie.
They're like a book when they act out a book on a film.
Bringing that back?
That almost ruined your life, that room before you started.
Yeah.
How did that take off?
Did you get mad at that?
No.
There was like a minute just because, what was it?
Oh, there was like one time where someone said something and I chimed in and both Nick
and KB were like, you've never seen that.
And I was like, God damn it, you got me.
But then after that, I was fine.
But then you're there for a while.
There was one moment where I was legitimately mad.
He's like, they figured out a way that I can never talk about movies again.
It's fun to talk about movies.
Wait, let's see if Coleman likes this mess.
He'll love it.
I know he will.
He's an old sailor.
Don't you think?
Yeah. Anybody see air? What do. Don't you think? Yeah.
Anybody see air?
What do you think of air?
Very good.
No, no, no.
Oh, stop it.
I asked this question on the set yesterday.
What do you think is the best opening scene to a movie ever?
It's not debatable.
Oh.
My eyes.
Joke.
Dark Knight.
That's certainly.
Oh, that bank scene.
Unbelievable.
So the movie sucked, but the Wolverine, when him and his brother were running through all the wars together that was sick but then the movie
sucked captain jack sparrow coming in on that boat sinking saving private ryan oh that's the best
fuck yeah it's sad though it's 30 minutes of people dying but it's the best quality wise like
it's incredible thing right right i think you say i think it's toy story 2 is a very good start
uh heat it would be my pick.
That's, I think, the best bank robbery scene.
How about Up?
The opening scene.
Oh, first ten minutes of Up?
Technically, Saving Private Ryan starts at the cemetery.
Yeah, I wonder if that even counts for Saving Private Ryan.
His hot daughter.
Granddaughter.
Oh.
I didn't notice she was hot.
I was paying respect to our country.
No, I noticed she was hot. Noticing she's hot is actually I was paying respect to our country. No, I noticed she was hot.
Noticing she's hot is actually paying the most respect to our country.
She's American.
The fact that she exists is because of guys like that.
Imagine all the hot girls that wouldn't have existed if we didn't beat the Nazis.
Were y'all not going to tell us that you'd spilled the popcorn?
We were hoping you were going to stay in there the whole time
and then walk in and be like, what the fuck?
What were you in there watching?
The top 100 plays of the NFL season 2022.
May I say something about that?
I think last year was boring.
Probably not a lot of good.
They were still great plays.
It's a tight as ass take.
Vikings-Bills game.
We had the same.
The Dolphins-Ravens game came up like five times.
It was the best plays.
Yeah.
Long bombs and long runs.
I think we got 40 in.
We got about 40 in, yeah.
It's delightful.
The Patriots-Raiders game, that ending.
It's pretty cool.
What even happened?
What was that?
Ron, what happened to that bucket?
He started laddering.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Max ripped out.
Over there, to your left.
Max ripped.
That's Rico's.
I tried.
I was committed.
Rico was shoved.
Because I thought it would have been that much more painful if they withdrew and somebody
still beat you and you finished last.
Steven, do we have prep sheets?
I'm going to do the Outback ad.
Yeah, don't I have to give them to you guys?
No.
This Outback steak is so good.
So good.
I know you've been crushing it.
Can we call Mincy?
He's been on hold the whole time.
Oh, shit.
Oh, man.
Mincy!
We need to get Che out of the room.
How we doing, big cat?
I'm going to cut a hole in the bottom of that popcorn
so when he picks up the new one, it all comes out of the box.
Yes, yes.
We need to distract Che.
Hold on.
We got to put you on hold for a second.
We'll be right back.
I got to get y'all handlements.
I'll make sure Stray doesn't get a second. We'll be right back.
Which one is it?
You threw that?
Oh, yeah.
Cutting a hole in the bottom of the popcorn.
She picks it up.
Now we're good. We're good.
Now move it towards the middle.
Move it towards the middle.
Yeah.
That's the one he's...
Oh, yeah.
Wait.
Yeah, yeah.
Give him this one.
Don't make it...
No, no.
Take a bunch out.
He'll know it's so much more.
He'll know it's too much.
Come on, keep him out.
Yeah, yeah.
Where's Brandon?
Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.
You want me to stall him?
Yeah, yeah, stand out there just in case.
Oh, this is great.
Oh, you got to move the other one.
Move the other one.
Oh, you gotta move the other one. Move the other one.
I actually like... Wait, how about this?
He gets mad.
Hold on.
He's gonna be so sad.
Hold on.
He's gonna get mad that he loses that one.
Put another full one with a false bottom.
We have one.
We have another one.
But fill it.
Like, I would have left it there full.
This way he's like,
oh, did you just leave the bottom next to it?
The bottom of what?
You got to hide it.
Okay.
I'm so excited.
All right.
Then we're going to talk to Mincy.
We have the ads.
Mincy was on hold the whole time.
Is it still there?
Go.
Maniac.
Thank you.
Oh!
You're real ones right there.
You're real ones right there.
Oh, no!
How'd that happen, bro?
Don't lie.
You like that.
Oh, that was so fucking good.
I love Popcorn Day.
This is so much fun.
Oh!
Oh, yeah.
Oh! This is Benny much fun. Oh! Oh, yeah. Oh!
This is Benny the Bullshit.
Of course it's... Oh!
Oh!
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, Jesus.
Popcorn day is amazing
I want to see
No, Rico, let's display
Yeah
Oh, we spilled the popcorn
Oh no
Oh my god
How do we let this happen?
This is I'm i would say right now yeah this is like the epitome of our relationship with steven chen i mean like steven with he absolutely had to do the kindest of hearts
everything being like let's just be pals and us maybe lasting five minutes before we ruin everything. What are we going to do on this bowling night?
Oh,
fuck. Holy shit.
I'm going to fucking call it a bomb threat.
Oh, that was fun.
The good thing
about a yak like this is
as long as we go, we don't have to clean up.
How do you even...
This might be a 12-hour streak. how do you even begin to clean this up oh room and vacuum oh yeah we start
with broom and then we go vacuum i think vacuums first no no you gotta get the big one big popcorn
just turn the rim on and then i'm just going full stufano
steven you unintentionally made a great yak.
Thanks.
Yeah.
You see him picking up that popcorn?
Yeah, I want to see that again.
How'd you do that?
A hole in the bottom.
Use one of your knives?
Oh, yeah. Just needed a slight distraction for you for about 10 seconds.
Well done.
Bravo.
Oh, my God.
That was a look of genuine shock when that happened.
Oh, the shock that you had when you first.
Your real one's right there.
The second one pours out for so long.
Very slick, Mariko, to pick it up like that.
That was.
I was pulled by it.
Still coming out.
What type of sorcery is that?
How'd that happen, bro?
Great job, Steven.
Popcorn day rules.
Thanks, thanks.
That was fun.
I ate most of my tub.
I had a lot of fun.
Glennie.
Oh, fuck.
You won't notice.
Mincy still is on hold.
We should talk to him eventually.
What's up, Glennie?
How are you doing?
What's the difference about the studio?
Sponsored by Outback Stegos?
Yep.
Exactly right.
Oh, yes.
You guys have some? I just wanted you on the act so you could talk about Outback a little bit.
You know what I mean?
I absolutely love Outback Steakhouse.
It's amazing.
We got their new Land and Sea menu over there.
We got the loaded blue bonon with beautiful Aussie cheese fries on top of that.
Beautiful.
There's some grilled chicken over there, a filet.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
Yep, you have some lobster back over there, grilled chicken.
It's all fantastic.
I love Outback.
I've been loving Outback my whole life.
I love it.
Beautifully said.
Who was that lady you were talking to?
She was a beautiful actress, model, Summer Soderstrom.
Ooh.
Oh, her sister just got married in Malibu, right?
Autumn?
Were you listening to me?
Were you mic'd up?
No, we weren't.
How did you listen to me?
I didn't listen to you.
We were literally just talking about her.
Brandon told us all about her.
How were you listening to that conversation?
I wasn't listening.
I've been in here.
That's fucked up.
Don't miss the limited time Great Barrier Eats.
Wait, stay here, Glennie.
Eats, Landon C. Menu at Outback Steakhouse.
Order at Outback.com.
Today, it's got the best stuff possible.
OutbackSteakhouse.com.
Mac Daddy of steak and mate combos.
New sirloin plus lobster mac and cheese combo.
The six-ounce sirloin, lobster mac and cheese, and a choice of two sides.
Starts just $16.99.
Again, go right now.
Limited time.
Great Barrier Eats.
Land and see menu at Outback Steakhouse.
Order at Outback.com.
Mashed potatoes are perfect.
So good. They're perfect mashed potatoes. Everything at Outback.com. Mashed potatoes are perfect. So good.
They're perfect mashed potatoes.
Everything at Outback is incredible.
The bread is my favorite bread in the world.
Can I say something?
I think this might be my favorite sponsorship we've ever had
because they're just bringing us lunch every day.
It's awesome.
There's a steak out there.
That prime rib they have on that new menu is incredible.
So good.
That was very good.
Lenny, I mentioned Nashville plan.
We got to workshop it.
What can we do in Nashville?
Booze and burgers?
I want to figure out a way to get you to Nashville.
I don't want to talk about this right now.
All right, okay.
We'll talk about it later.
But I want to get you to Nashville.
Wait, five minutes later?
We'll get you to Nashville.
No, I don't want to do it like this.
Come on.
All right, we're going to get you to Nashville.
No, now you're going to make a thing out of it.
No, I'm not.
No, I'm not.
This would probably be the best way to do it, though. We had an introductory conversation, and then we're going to recircle and figure out a going to get you to Nashville. No, I'm not going to make a thing out of it. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. This would probably be the best way to do it, though.
We had an introductory conversation, and then we're going to recircle and figure out a way to get you.
I didn't even ask you to have that conversation.
That was out of the blue.
You just sprung it on me.
You asked me if you were ever going to move out.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
Out of your house.
That is true.
My bad.
Out of the Stolab.
I think you should move to Nashville.
I think you have a shitload of stuff you could do there.
No, no.
You're not.
No, I'm not?
Oh, man. That would be awesome. Lenny, I'm not. I'm not trying to be mean. I literally think you should move to Nashville. I think you have a shitload of stuff you could do there. No, no. No, I'm not. Oh, man.
That would be awesome. Lenny, I'm not.
I'm not trying to be mean. I literally think you should move to Nashville. He is, but you're being extra sad.
I really do think you should move to
Nashville. I think there's a shitload of content there.
Start working with the Boston with the
boys. I think you're being mean.
No, I'm not. I'm not trying to be mean.
I'm literally being honest. Have a great day, everybody.
Enjoy the rest of your day. Oh, stop.
Oh, no.
I don't want him to go.
Lenny, Lenny, Lenny, come back.
Come on.
Oh, no.
Oh, Lenny.
Lenny.
Fine.
I guess I won't move.
Oh.
I need to go repair that.
I didn't say he was going to move.
I said he was.
We had a conversation.
Fuck.
He's extra sad, though.
Maybe he kind of nailed that one.
He just interviewed a hot OnlyFans girl for an hour.
I got to go fucking fix that.
Well, we got to do the-
Want to take a second?
You got to book him SkyBree or TrueKick.
I'm going to give him a minute, and then I'm going to try to get-
He's off SkyBree.
What?
He's off SkyBree.
What does that mean?
Oh, yeah, Malasek's got to check lacrosse.
All right, I'll go fix Glennie.
Go fix Glennie.
I don't know why he's off Skybury, but he's off.
He's, like, out on her?
Out, yeah.
Okay, that's fine.
There's others.
Malasek.
Hey.
I like Malasek.
I like Malasek, too.
Love him.
This is good in here. Ball's in your court. Yeah. I just want to listen in on their conversation. I want to listen in. I like Malasek, too. You guys? Love him. This is good in here.
Ball's in your court.
Yeah.
I just want to listen in on their conversation.
I want to listen in.
No, you're good.
You're good.
You're good.
Yeah, so I just asked if I could come on real quick.
For those that don't know, I play goalie for the Czech lacrosse team.
And we looked at that roster, and they have, like, an 80-year-old man.
This is Poland, dude.
Oh, okay.
To clarify, it is the country, Czech Republic.
It's the national team.
Yes.
So this summer, this June, we're going to go play in the World Championships.
What are you talking about?
He's trying to save a team right now.
Jake, it's as good as gone.
He might as well not have.
That's true.
All right, go.
No, Dave had a really good tweet.
Brant Thorebrand, they would have laughed.
It's all good.
Sorry.
I'll check it out, but continue, Mal.
Yeah, he's a friend.
All right.
Oh, yeah.
He's a friend.
You guys act like I'm a starter here.
I'm getting called up from fucking single A.
You're taking a lot of shots. That's all. I'm taking what I can. You're up from fucking single A. You're taking a lot of shots.
That's all.
I'm taking what I can.
You're taking a lot of shots.
You're taking a lot of shots?
I ate popcorn for 40 minutes straight.
Now, a sec.
Yeah.
So I just wanted to bring up.
Did y'all see this tweet by Dave, though?
That's a real motherfucker.
Look at it.
It really is a good tweet.
Thank you for bringing it to my attention, Rico.
Now I know why BFW gets so mad when I give him shit.
He works with an imbecile like Mincy.
How could I ever get mad at him when I sign Mincy's checks?
That's my point.
Exactly.
It's a great tweet.
Thank you, Rico.
I appreciate that.
Go ahead, Mal.
I mean, I don't know exactly how to pitch this, but we have a –
You got it fixed, big cap?
I think I got it fixed.
Glenn, you know you're going to have to –
The check team is fucked.
The check team is so fucked.
Glennie, sit.
We got to work on this.
You never want to try to save a national team on popcorn day.
Ever.
Look around.
Read the room.
Go ahead, Jake.
I mean, do you have stuff?
No, no, no.
Glennie is going to hang out for a while.
We've totally tabled the Nashville talk.
It's not even going to happen on this show.
Glennie and I are going to have a private conversation
I also would like to interrupt
I do have to leave for a Sunday conversation in 10 minutes
Then you gotta go
Who are you going with?
10 minutes
Who are you doing?
K, Skybury
Yeah, you guys don't reveal
You guys get Kate Hudson?
Yes
What were you saying, Jake?
Yeah, so
You only have 10 minutes
So we're leaving at 2
It's 1.50 Where are you going, Rale Yeah, so... You only have 10 minutes. So we're leaving at 2. It's 1.50.
All right, cool, cool.
Where are you going, Raleigh?
Check national team.
Yeah, yeah.
So this summer, end of June,
we are playing in the World Championships.
And, you know, limited government funding,
stuff like that has led to us
having to do our own fundraising.
Rico, you're in favor of limited government, aren't you?
No, no, no.
That's a different show.
Okay, all right.
And I just thought I would come on here
and kind of promote what's going on.
So we have our link here.
Everyone donate.
We have a goal of 30 grand.
We're almost at 29.
So we're almost there.
Oh, there's one grand?
14.
You came on here for a grand?
You need $1,000?
Just give him $1,000.
It's that outfit shopping thing.
You need $1,000?
Good luck, Malice.
I pay cash.
The 30 grand goal and then a little extra like five or six would get us like new helmets would be. Up the goal. Malice. Can I pay cash? The 30 grand goal and then a little extra, like five or six would get us, like new helmets would be.
Up the goal.
Up the goal.
Can I pay cash?
$50.
Get to $50.
Am I allowed to pay cash?
Anything would be great.
I got an idea.
I got an idea.
I think that you coming in on Popcorn Day is a blessing.
And I think that you should be linking your eating of popcorn to this goal and so do some kind of maybe on the yak maybe you're
in the corner racing or doing eating popcorn fast so we can try and in the moment raise money and
like you get to this much yeah whatever needs to happen i'll pledge a dollar a piece of popcorn
yeah yeah you clean clean up the room too like whatever you didn't answer can i pay cash you
pay yeah any sort of I'll pay cash.
I'll get you to you're at 30k. Great. Thank
you, dude. No, I'm
not giving you can't you need a thousand
dollars. 3035
would be should eat. I'll get you get to
pick it. You should
do that. But if they went if they metal
you should get a metal. Yeah.
I mean, we're not going to metal but we're going to hopefully
get top 10 is the dream.
Wait, that's loser talk.
Medaling would be like bigger than Miracle on Ice of an upset,
but a top 10.
Okay, well, you just mentioned something that happened.
But you're the goalie?
Yeah.
What's on you?
Yeah, it's 100%.
If you're very good, they'll medal.
You're going to have like the fastest, best balls coming at you in the world?
Are you nervous? No, I'm excited. You just want the Olympic ring tattoo. You got one of the best balls coming at you in the world? Are you nervous?
No, I'm excited. You just want the best
balls in here right now.
Yeah, so we have our pool play starts on the
22nd of June, ESPN Plus, if people want to watch.
Below my
promotion for the fundraiser tweet is the store
if people want to get some stuff.
Please, everyone, do it.
Alright, so here's the deal.
We're going to clean up, but you can help us clean up for $2K.
Great.
Donation.
All right.
And where is your...
Oh, yeah, can you wear Stella Blue hats?
So we are a little behind schedule on sponsorships,
but that is an option that I read in the FIL handbook,
so we can submit a...
You read a handbook?
They have, like, a PDF thing they list for the iteration.
I read that about sponsorship stuff.
Where are the games?
San Diego.
I want to go.
Everybody's welcome.
End of June, so 20 seconds of first game.
Who's in your pool?
Motherfucker.
Pool play is us, Philippines, Puerto Rico,
Sweden, and Israel.
That sounds good.
You could beat all of us. That's winnable.
That's winnable.
I'm going to win three games to make out of pool play
and continue to kind of play for something that matters.
So we've got to win three games.
Puerto Ricans probably have more of a claim, you know what I mean?
Are Israel's helmets smaller and on the back of their head?
That's good.
All right, so you got it.
You reach your goal And then some
Yeah great
Would everyone else
Please donate if you can
TJ why don't you
Say check
Thank you Malasek
I'll have you come back in
We'll have you come back in
To help
Awesome thanks guys
Alright
Alright Glennie
Plug what you got going on
Glennie and I are good
We're gonna have a conversation
Separate
I misspoke out of turn
What do I got going on
What do you got going on
Today
No just in general.
Let's plug some shit.
Sunday Conversation,
OnlyStands.
What do we got in the hopper
for OnlyStands?
What's the white whale right now?
Oh, we got some good ones
coming up next week.
We got Tucci Cash
and this wonderful lady,
Viking Barbie.
They got like a combined
$15 million.
Have you done a guy yet?
No, we have not.
Jack from Jack and Jill.
You should do a guy.
Yeah, I mean,
I've been offered guys, but I feel like they're just not going to get as many views as women. Yeah, I mean, I've been offered guys,
but I feel like they're just
not going to get as many views
as women.
Yeah, I'm pretty too.
I think we'll probably
stick to women at this time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Guys don't get too horny either.
Yeah, no, we got some
good ones coming up.
We got a one-year anniversary
episode in two weeks.
That's so sick.
Our first ever guest, Jeannie,
she came back,
which was a great episode.
Hey, talk about how
that Theo Vaughn thing happened.
What happened?
I did Theo Vaughn's happened. I was in. What happened? I did Theo Vaughn's podcast.
Really?
Yeah.
When?
We recorded it last week.
And when's it coming out?
It's out.
And it's doing numbies.
Oh, fuck.
I gotta listen.
I gotta listen.
I mean, it's got like fucking 600,000 views on YouTube.
I've been watching.
I've been looking.
I feel like Vince watching Aquaman, watching the numbers going.
But no, we were in LA lastA. last week for another Sunday conversation
that we recorded that night, last Monday.
And then Theo just randomly DM'd me and said,
you want to come on the podcast?
And I said, I'd love to.
Like, let's figure something out.
I thought he recorded in Nashville.
So I was like, oh, I'm sure I'll be in Nashville soon.
And he said, oh, I'm actually.
Don't bring that up.
I know.
Either way.
But he was like, oh, I'm actually in L.A. for the next week.
So I was in L.A.
And I said, all right, I'll stay the next day if you want to do it.
So I stayed the next day and we did it the next morning.
Hell yes.
So it was fun, though.
It was quite intimidating.
Theo's a very scary person to talk to.
And obviously it's a very big podcast.
He owns TikTok.
Yeah, I was very intimidated.
I'm just extremely scared.
What was he talking about?
Girls and shit?
We talked about a lot of shit, dude.
We talked about penguins, being fat on an airplane, AI, wedding speeches,
just fucking only stand Sunday conversation,
a lot of Caleb talk,
Italian stuff,
food.
It was a long,
it was like three hours.
We went three hours.
What?
Holy shit.
Yeah,
we went three hours.
Hell yeah.
It was a good conversation.
It was very intimidating.
People only see you
loving food and titties,
but they don't know
that you're a smart guy.
They got to start watching
the dozen,
see all the fucking answers Glennie pulls out of his ears.
Well, I mean, it was interesting.
It was an interesting idea because I feel like a lot of people
in the realm of the world see me in Sunday Conversation
where I don't talk very much.
I guess that was most people would see me talk in a while.
So yeah, that was very intimidating.
A lot of people would see the talking side of me.
You've got a hand on your shoulders.
It would have been funny if you just did your Sunday Conversation character
for Theo Vaughn. Yeah, you just ate.
Silent Bob. He asked questions
and you just didn't say anything. Yeah, I was very intimidated.
As soon as I got there in the parking lot, I was walking
to my luggage. He pulled in. So I watched
him pull in and I said to myself, oh, fuck, do I wait outside
for him? Do I go inside? I didn't really know where to go.
I waited for him. That's the right move.
Oh, you did the right move.
I hope I did. And then he walked by me and shook his hand.
I said, oh, thanks for having me. And then he said, save for the mics.
I said, fuck, dude.
This is legit.
Save hello for the mics?
No, he said, hey, what's up?
He's like, oh, I'm so happy you're here, but save it for the mics.
We didn't speak until we got to the mics.
I kind of like that form.
Yeah.
I mean, he was so nice.
He was great.
I love the mess effect.
Sounds like it went well.
It was great.
You know what was the scariest part?
Was I was fucking following up John Mulaney.
Oh.
It was John Mulaney and then me.
Is he in the studio at the same time or no?
Oh.
Oh.
I literally, we did it, we recorded it last Tuesday.
He puts his pods out on Tuesday.
So I was literally in the Uber, walking into the office, I look at my phone, like Theo's
like, oh, this week's episode with John Mulaney.
Oh yeah, because you were sitting there being like, I hope he has someone just like terrible.
Yeah, it's fucking John, like John Mulaney's first podcast interview, like after his.
After Friday. After his nap stay. friday so that was fucking intimidating and glennie's like i love seltzers and titties yeah
i had a bit trouble later like talking serious like having nice serious conversations about
their rehab and whatnot and i'm and then the next week is fucking me so it was kind of intimidating
following john mulaney but you probably need a little palate cleanse you know what i mean after
all that because that's a heavy-ass interview.
All the clips I saw from that were.
I'm not really even saying interview.
It's not like John Mulaney was leaving as I was walking in.
I'm saying the episode.
That's true.
It literally says on YouTube, John Mulaney and Glennie Balls,
which is an intimidating person to follow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It sounds like you did well.
I think it was all right.
Get those views up.
I think it was okay.
I think it's doing okay.
I have been looking at the views, though. It's hard not to. Yeah. When you go on think it was okay. I think it's doing okay. I haven't looked at the views, though.
It's hard not to.
Yeah, when you go on someone else's show.
Yeah, it's hard not to.
Definitely.
You just don't want to be the lowest.
Well, I just felt bad because I don't want Theo to think I'm a fucking dork,
so I want to make sure he at least has a respectable amount of views.
There's no chance Theo thinks you're a dork if you didn't do Numbies.
I don't want to think he made a bad choice putting me on
because obviously I'm not the caliber of his normal guests he took a chance to have me on.
So I was hoping that I got a decent amount of views so he didn't second guess that thought.
This guy that makes a living eating ice cream and talking to girls with enormous tits is such a dork.
You're the opposite of a dork.
You know what I mean.
You couldn't be less of a dork.
You know what I mean.
It was a nice thing to have me on.
I didn't want him to say how I should have been.
Right, you didn't want him to reply to it anyway.
Not that I'm saying I want to come back.
Wait, how did he do?
Yeah, he was amazing as always.
He's one of the funniest people on the planet.
Yeah.
Some of the stuff he's, I don't know how he comes up with some of the stuff he says,
but he's amazing.
He's great.
But, yeah.
Awesome.
That was fun.
Anyway, yeah.
How are you guys doing?
Pretty good.
Pretty good, Glenn. Thank you. Cool. Besides me fucking up our relationship, but I think we're okay. Oh, we're fine. anyway yeah how you guys doing pretty good pretty good Glenn
cool
besides me fucking up
our relationship
but I think we're okay
oh we're fine
I don't know about
Deontay Banks though
oh yeah Glennie
give us the Giants
we'll be fine
I'm not gonna sit here
and try to analyze
a 25th overall pick
for Maryland
I just don't have that in me
only four
I'm saying I don't know
about it
I just don't have that in me
I'm excited that tomorrow
I think me and Frank
are finally streaming Rangers Devils I'm excited about that. I think me and Frank are finally streaming Rangers-Devils.
I'm excited about that.
Oh, yeah.
You.
Oh, that was what I wanted to say.
This might be the most torturous way for a team to lose.
Dude, the Rangers are trash.
Like, to go up 2-0 against kind of a rival.
Yes.
I would maybe say bigger rival overall.
I personally, Islanders are bigger for me.
Devils might be bigger grand scheme.
Right, but 2-0 against your rival on their ice,
so then you come back home and you lose three in a row.
Like, that's torture.
In the last series they played against Tampa last year,
we were up 2-0-2, lost all four, lost four straight.
Fuck.
Yeah, it hasn't been fun.
Last night was fucking brutal.
So you guys are going to stream tomorrow night?
Yeah.
Hell yes.
Yeah, I'm excited.
I think it's just me v. Tank.
Really?
Tank.
Mano e Mano?
Mano e Mano.
Wow.
I want to go me v. Hank.
I'm trying to go me v. Hank, Mano e Mano.
Really?
I don't know.
Anybody else is welcome there, but I'm trying to think.
Max and Hank have a rival.
Smitty too, of course.
I'm just trying to think who I could go.
Mano e Mano sounds awesome. Mano e Mano, I'm just kind of scared. I don't trying to think who I could go. Mano y Mano sounds awesome.
Mano y Mano, I'm just kind of scared.
I don't want to go Mano.
I kind of hope that it's literally just the two of you in the game.
You know what I will say?
I do think that Frank likes the Devils more than the Mets.
He is more realistic about it.
The Mets is his craziest team.
The Devils give him more.
Yeah.
They have him.
They're taking care of him.
But I'm saying, I think just hockey, when people
love hockey, it's their number one thing.
I think low-key Frank is the devil's
fan over the Mets. You think on the Pantheon,
it's hockey first. It is funny to
see Frank get out of Mets mode
because he's like
a very in-tune fan.
That's fair, but to comment
what you're saying is pretty much every big hockey fan I know,
it's their number one sport.
Yeah.
What are you saying then?
Like, Frank is a big baseball guy.
I mean, I think low-key, deep down, Frank likes the Devils more than he likes the Mets.
No, again, I think it's just the Devils have won and have been good to him.
I don't know.
Haven't beaten him down for 30 years.
That video game, too, of him just walking out of there, he was just sad.
It wasn't even like he was yelling.
Guys who love hockey love hockey more than anything else.
He's right.
I'm saying guys that are big hockey fans.
Could be true.
It's their number one.
I don't think it's true of Frank.
Guys that are big hockey fans, it's normally their number one.
I don't think it's true of Frank because you could also say the same thing for baseball fans.
There are baseball fans that love baseball more than anything else.
It's their number one thing.
I'm saying if you're a fan of a hockey team, it's nine out of ten times that's your number one team.
Right. If you're a diehard. I don saying if you're a fan of a hockey team, it's 9 out of 10 times that's your number one team. Right.
If you're a diehard... I don't think that was numbers. I don't think that's accurate.
Do you have season tickets?
Sure, there are some, but I don't think...
Every big hockey fan I know,
that's their number one team. The better way to say it
is there's less casual hockey fans
than any other sport. I would say so.
Yeah.
I also just think it's very cute how much Frank loves Jack Hughes. It's like his child. I would say so. Yeah. Argue that. They're in. And I also just think
it's very cute
how much Frank loves
Jack Hughes.
Yeah.
It's like his child.
I love it.
It makes me like
Jack Hughes, honestly.
All right, so what
do you got to do to win?
Oh, you got to go.
No, no.
As soon as I see Kelsey
walk downstairs,
I got to go.
What do you got to do
to win game five?
Five, six.
I would like him
to actually hit Jack Hughes.
That would be nice.
But, you know,
the Rangers stars got to play.
Mika Zibanejad, Panarin, they got to score goals.
They haven't scored a goal yet.
The bread man got to score.
Bread man's got to score.
Mika's got to score.
The boys got to score.
Patrick Kane's got to score.
Patrick Kane's got to set up.
Cryer.
With power play going over 10 over three games.
Not the best.
Is hockey your number one?
No.
The Rangers are my number one.
That's what I'm saying.
The Rangers are my number one team, definitely. But the sport of hockey, absolutely not. But the Rangers are your number one. number one That's what I'm saying The Rangers are my number one team Definitely
But the sport of hockey
Absolutely not
But the Rangers are your number one
Yes
That's what I'm saying
If you're a big fan
If you're a big fan of a hockey team
That's more than most likely
Your number one team
Is what I'm saying
Interesting
But hockey definitely not
You don't give a fuck
About the Giants
I love the Giants
But I don't care
The Giants and Mets
Are very far down
From the Rangers for me
And then St. John's basketball
Maybe two honestly My boy Patino now You know That is going to be electric Going to be so Giants and Mets are very far down from the Rangers for me. And then St. John's basketball. I may be too, honestly.
My boy Patino now, you know?
That is going to be electric.
Going to be so.
We've got a five-star recruit visiting today.
Yeah.
I really, I mean, I'm a fan of the Knicks.
I have a few Knicks jerseys.
I loved the Knicks growing up.
But once they traded the whole team, they had such a great core.
Once they traded that core for Mello, I kind of just lost interest.
That's because Dolan got involved.
Yeah.
Like that whole team before Mello, when it was
just Amari, J.R.
Smith, sorry, Chandler,
fucking Landry Fields, that was fun.
Once I traded all of them, I was out.
But, yeah.
Did we still have Mincy on hold?
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
Let me put on your headphones.
We've had Mincy on hold.
Mincy!
What's up, Big Cat? How how we doing i could be doing better yeah i hate to hate to let so boy down tough tough tough not not my favorite not the best
morning so far or day so far your morning was fine because you didn't have to do a show well i think my awareness continues to get me
and like my logic awareness continues to get me lots of problems on a day-to-day basis and
i guess like twisted logic-wise i was like well i could do the show and make my buddy's wedding
with her so that's what i should do i didn I didn't think, like, I don't know.
I guess I just was unaware of ramifications and should have
asked around before I met this lady.
It's wake up with Vincy.
Well, I know.
I thought it was.
I literally, you know, I made a mistake,
and, you know, I really didn't realize the ramifications of, like, that being an issue.
But, I mean, I admit it was my fault, and I was wrong, and I was out of line,
and my lawyer made this mistake, and not to record any more shows again.
That's the damn sure.
Sounds sincere.
Yeah, I mean. The worst thing is Stella Blue now notices this.
But as long as, like, you still have part of my cheesesteak.
Oh, well, no.
Oh, you pissed off your sponsors.
Part of my cheesesteak is not.
In O2?
In O2.
Does Apple know?
Apple, I think they're aware.
They know about it.
They're coming on.
You know about Coke?
Oh, fuck.
Coke. Coke.
Dang.
It's just crazy
because people lose trust.
Right.
And also, like,
Stella Blue coffee,
like,
what do you do in the morning?
Wake up to drink
Stella Blue with Ben Mintz.
Right.
What I did, anyway.
Exactly.
That's what I do,
but can I trust...
I had a lot of people saying that they weren't,
weren't going to buy still blue anymore.
It's not like you make sleepy time.
People didn't wake up today.
Yeah.
A lot of people.
How are you now?
Mary Springer down in Carolina.
All right.
I'm in check in this hotel in Raleigh,
North Carolina.
You ready?
Today?
How many,
how many hours early are you?
A couple right now.
I'm going to meet up with some people.
I'm going to meet up with the three here in a few minutes.
I noticed widespread panic had a show in Raleigh tonight.
Is this any?
Is this?
Fake news.
That's true?
They do?
Vince, are you going to a widespread panic show?
Tell the truth.
I just did two nights in Austin like a week ago or two weeks ago.
But no, I'm not.
Oh, no.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
Watching a video.
It looks like some fan is pouring Stella Blue coffee out on a Wake Up Mincy shirt.
Oh, it's Cliff.
Oh, no, that's not Cliff.
Cliff, he's our number one fan.
He spends money.
See, I tried to get people to stop tweeting Cancel Mincy, but.
I know.
I appreciate you in my corner, big cat.
I know you were there for more support.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Here's another video. Oh, no. Sent this no. Oh, no. Here's another video.
Oh, no.
Sent this one.
I'm going to retweet them just so people know not what to do.
Pat to the future.
Oh, no.
I don't know what the second word is going to be.
No, this could be anything.
This could be anything.
Twist.
It wasn't like breath mints.
There's some serious mental breath mints. Oh.
Big cat.
There's some serious mental gymnastics going on.
Yeah.
Would be better if it was. One flip though.
Good heads.
Summer in the bar.
Oh, Christ.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
Big cat.
I got that email.
Cell blue sales plummeted it around 9 a.m. this morning.
They were high as hell at 6 a.m.
They were.
People were ordering, ordering, ordering, and then boom.
If you could have did it different, Mincy, what would you have done?
Would you have woken up?
What I would have done differently is tape this.
Not tape, but I did a live show at 8 a.m. Eastern an hour earlier.
Yeah.
I didn't realize the magnitude of my actions not doing that.
I thought that would have obviously been more done.
What about a later flight?
Yeah, no, that would have been an option, too.
I thought that the other flight option I was given would have gotten me there like right at 5,
so it would have been late.
What time did you have to head over to the airport today?
I went to the airport about 8.30.
Yeah, I left about 8.30.
No.
There were multiple 12.30s out of LaGuardia and JFK.
What about – I know.
Some people were saying it would have been great to have a special
groomsman edition of Wake Up Mincy.
Oh, my goodness.
It could have been your afternoon. It could have been a gift to the guy, too, for Mincy. Oh, my goodness. Couldn't have even done it in the afternoon.
That would have been a gift to the guy, too, for his wedding.
Oh, you couldn't have.
You'd have to be on Wake Up Mincy.
Stella Blue.
Stella Blue could have sponsored the wedding.
I would have.
It's been a tough day.
Part of my cheesesteak would have matched.
I was wondering, you know, if it's been, you know, I guess it's been about three or four months since I've last been just getting completely torched by Dave.
And so, you know, it was about that time.
Have you thought about looking into quitting?
Absolutely not.
Good.
Brandon and Rico could give you the playbook.
I mean, we got you.
It's not that hard.
I'm going to stand in here and take it. You know, I always do.
I mean, it is what it is.
You know, I know I'm going to get the lid off.
It is what it is.
You know, I don't know.
I mean, it's certainly not something that hasn't happened before already.
And, you know, I know I made a mistake.
And I told Dave I made a mistake.
And I'm going to learn from it and do better and not make the same mistake.
I mean, I don't know if he heard me.
But I don't know what else I can do.
Mincy, who was writing that blog that you texted me you thought it was me this morning, I don't know if you heard me, but I don't know what else I can do. Mincy, who was writing that blog
that you texted me you thought it was me this morning?
I don't know. I just
saw a wake-up message and I thought
it was you, but it wasn't.
I don't know. I just saw it and played about it.
I don't know why I thought it was you.
Mincy, I feel like people are coming at your neck.
It's tough to do a live show
three days a week. You can't do that every
day.
I don't know, man. I can't wait here um i've had a hell of a week you know this has been one of the craziest weeks i think i've ever had as far as uh but it's been the full gout full gamut
um i saw the act stock report up and down yeah i mean we got mean, weddings, funerals, 10K,
freaking three years no alcohol yesterday.
I feel like I've lived six months.
Billy Joel.
This week.
Billy Joel, yeah. Yeah, Billy Joel, MSG, Glennie, thank you.
Shout out.
But this week has been, I don't know,
it's been a monster roller coaster.
Thanks, Glennie.
Hold on one sec, Mincy.
Glennie, thank you.
Thank you, guys.
Apologize again. We on one sec, Mincy. Gunny, thank you. Thank you, guys. Apologize again.
We'll talk.
Sorry about that.
Sorry about there not being any show for you to watch this morning, Gunny.
Yeah, Gunny.
Step on popcorn.
Gunny, we will make sure there's a Wake Up Mincy next week for you.
Yeah, kick your feet off at the door.
Yeah.
Gunny was really disturbed about this Wake Up Mincy thing.
He was.
Gunny is a big scorer. He was. What is this big sport?
He's tracking popcorn.
I don't know, man.
I feel like, you know, you're saying all the right things, but...
My thing speaks louder than words.
I'm going to have to talk to Stella tonight,
and we're going to have to have a long heart-to-heart
about where we go with our sponsorship.
You've got to tell Stella.
I don't want to tell her.
When I left the house, she was
when I left the house, she had
woken up with me. There's no bigger
Mincy fan than her. Right, and we always wake up
together. And then
when I left the house, she was just
snoozing on the couch.
It was one.
I hadn't told her that it was pre-recorded yet.
It was one show this week.
Monday and Wednesday were live.
Wednesday and Thursday were live.
Monday and Thursday were live.
Oh, okay.
Monday, that's a funeral month.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, you have built up a trust with the audience.
You've been doing this show for, how long have you been doing this show?
I mean, three weeks, man, you know?
We've had a long run.
How long are we going to do this?
All right, Mincy.
All right, I'll take it easy.
Enjoy the wedding.
I ought to have fun, man.
Distract yourself.
I really am sorry.
I will never pre-record again.
I know I'm going to catch heat about this,
but all I can do is learn from it, literally.
Yeah, listen, hey, just, if you could, Mincy,
if you could please tweet out the promo code for Stowable.
I'm basically giving coffee away today to make up for the lost dollars. Yeah, listen, hey, just if you could, Mincy, if you could please tweet out the promo code for Stella Blue.
I'm basically giving coffee away today to make up for the lost dollars.
So the code is CancelMincy.
I saw somebody had a CancelMincy link.
Okay, well, I'll tweet out. The code is CancelMincy, 15% off Stella Blue for the rest of the day.
If you could please tweet that out.
You got it.
I don't know.
CancelMincy, StellaBlueCoffee.com. I'll tweet it out. We're it. I don't know. We'll cancel it.
ScalablueCoffee.com.
I'll tweet it out.
We're giving it away.
We're giving it away.
I hope you get a chance to make this up to you in depth.
All right.
Thank you, Mincy.
Enjoy the wedding.
Nick, just read my last text from my wife there, please.
Just read that.
Oh, from your wife.
Last one.
I can't read a picture.
You want me to read this?
A thousand words?
Last one, yes.
Thomas just kicked the car.
You set the punishments.
So I got that going on.
I got to go home and punish Tommy for kicking the car.
He should have to eat a whole... Or have him come and clean this up for us.
I'm going to smoke a whole pack of cars.
Damn it.
Did he do any damage to it?
Where did he kick it?
Where did he kick it?
I'm sure he kicked the door or something.
What do you think he's ornery about?
No telling.
Oh, I mean, maybe if you just get to the base of the issue.
Well, it's just a whole big thing.
Maybe 15 minutes, no iPad.
He's been sassy lately.
15 minutes, no iPad's fucking brutal.
That's what I've been doing.
The thing I learned is you can't repress that anger. It only fucks you up later. That's what I've been doing. I learned that you can't repress that anger.
It only fucks you up later.
That's what I mean.
That's why if you punish him for it.
Have you tried the cold?
Cold what?
Cold shower.
What?
Cold showers.
Apparently cold showers relaxes you or something or opens up your mind.
I could try that.
I've been trying that.
I'm open to anything.
Blasting them?
Hey, listen.
I know it's annoying When people talk about it
But if it helps
It helps
And I want other people
To live better
Yeah
I think I'm doing okay
I woke up like
I had the most dog shit morning
I didn't get high before bed
Really
And because of Mincy
Yeah I guess
I don't think
You just didn't know it
I didn't know
Yeah
You watched the whole video
I was thinking it was
It was live
I thought it was this morning
What happened?
You woke up with a shitty morning
Then you got a cold shower
It got you right?
I was dog shit all morning
Even after your cold shower?
Yeah
I got bomb last night
Cold shower
It doesn't
The cold shower still helped.
What was that noise?
Now I'm excited for it.
That was a really good noise.
That was a great noise.
I was going to lock back into my own body.
I knew exactly what it meant.
Down and hopped on the kettle bells.
Oh.
Kettle bells.
Trying to be like KB, bro.
Kettle bells.
Would that make sense?
Kettle bells.
Getting high before bed.
You stay longer in the shower just because you feel like pee?
I don't know.
Something about the water and like.
Cold, right? No, like I always take hot, but. Yeah, I stay in way too long. Something like peace? I don't know. Something about the water. It's cold, right?
I always take hot.
I stay in way too long.
I could probably get out and I'm like,
I don't know. On a cold winter
day, you catch yourself being like,
I don't want to get out. I have maximum
in the shower two minutes every time.
I don't like being in the shower. You've got a big ass body.
I don't like being in the shower.
I take care of business. I get out.
I don't enjoy showers.
Y'all enjoy showers? Yeah.
And every once in a while a bath is a nice
mix up too. I like a bath too.
Shower is like the most genius,
one of the best inventions that we have.
The fact they're spraying water on you.
I'm with the bath because I always end up
peeing on myself. You piss in the bath?
Yeah. Then you get up and shower.
Yeah, but I stay there for a while in the piss.
Have they made a laying down shower yet?
I do.
I'm being honest with you guys.
I pee on myself.
I certainly have, right?
Laying down shower?
Lenny was telling me about a table shower he got one time.
What was that?
Oh, now it's Roan's fault.
That's a joke.
That's a joke.
He would joke about how he used to go up to Montreal. This is good. This is good. You're helping me. Yeah, he would joke about how we used to go up to Montreal.
This is good. You're helping
me. He would joke about it.
You should be able to lay down on a plane.
That's my take. It's called first class.
Really fancy.
Sass is on Delta One today.
He's flying Delta One for the first
time. He's like, it's a once in a lifetime thing.
It's like, dude, it's not going to be once in a lifetime.
You've exposed yourself to the better side of life. He's going to it's a once in a lifetime thing. It's like, dude, it's not going to be once in a lifetime. You've exposed yourself
to the better side of life. He's going to spend
every cent he has chasing that
Delta 1.
I've never done it. I don't know if that's one of those
things you can never go back.
If you do JetBlue Mint on
Coast to Coast, like Red Eyes.
You can really lay down?
Full lay down.
Hillows, everything.
Sass said his flight back.
He's in 48D.
A couple weeks ago, I think it was right after the UConn win,
I stayed home.
I was sick.
And I watched the Yak from Bubble Bath.
It was pretty nice.
That's crazy.
Your dick was out?
You're watching us butt-ass naked?
That feels weird.
Did you laugh?
Well, I mean...
Smile or laugh?
I did, yeah.
I was still cutting stuff.
The entire two-hour yak, hour and a half yak,
you were in the bubble bath the whole time?
I had to change the water
because it started to get cold.
That's just what I was going to ask.
You doubled the water up? gonna ask you let it out a little bit water up well like no you let you let it out all right but you stayed in so long you had to redo the water i ran it back all right that's a good feeling it was
good that water doesn't last that long it's shorter than you think water doesn't like it's
piping hot yeah but i do about a 20 it lasts let's say 20 30 and you gotta do a little dump
add it back in i like the feeling of sitting in there while you run the hot-ass water into the tub that you're sitting in already.
I haven't taken a fucking bath.
I had poison sumac in my asshole.
When was that?
That was recent, though.
It was last week.
It was ninth grade.
What did you put in your mouth?
I got poison sumac in my asshole.
Around it.
Sumac?
How did that happen?
I was probably playing paintball.
You were running backwards
in the woods.
Running backwards through the woods.
You know, you trip.
It's just naked Nick running
backwards in the woods.
That was the worst.
I would rather have like a
disease that hospitalizes you
than sumac in the ass. Yeah. That's the worst. I would rather have a disease that hospitalizes you than sumac in the ass.
Yeah.
That's really bad.
Does sumac hospitalize you?
Pooping scratched the itch, though, which was cool.
Oh, that is cool.
I love that feeling.
Then you chase it.
You try to poop.
Five worst moments of my life were all itch-based skin diseases.
Yeah.
Scabies.
Scabies are so bad.
Scabies from my boy, Quago.
Hey, is chicken pox still a thing? I never had it. Yeah. Isn'ties. Scabies are so bad. Scabies? Scabies? They go bad.
Hey, is chicken pox still a thing?
I never had it.
Yeah.
Isn't it coming back?
I've never seen a kid with chicken pox, which makes sense because they're probably home.
I had it a little bit.
No, no.
I know you.
Like, I had chicken pox. No one posts their chicken pox kids online.
You think it's getting phased out?
Post your chicken pox kids online if you haven't.
I had a waiter once who had chicken pox.
That sucked.
What? Yeah, my waiter had chicken pox. Did you guys grow up. I had a waiter once who had chicken pox. That sucked. What?
Yeah, my waiter had chicken pox.
Did you guys grow up in that thing?
That was Sunny Boy's Diner.
Somebody had it.
It had to have been.
They never took off.
They weren't allowed.
If somebody had it and someone in your family didn't have it,
they would try to organize a play date and send the kid over to get it.
Yeah.
Because I knew somebody that communion was coming up in May,
and it was like February or April.
I'm sorry, March.
April's too close.
And they were like, all right, go play with Nick.
Get it now.
Three weeks, whatever.
Two weeks, whatever.
We're done.
You're good for communion.
I think it's done, though.
I don't think people get chicken pox anymore.
I think it'll pop up every now and then.
You guys were covered in red dots, right?
Yeah.
I never got it.
Itchy as fuck.
There's a vaccine, though, right?
That's what I'm saying.
I'm pretty sure.
I think now people don't trust any vaccines.
Take a bath in oatmeal?
I'll take an oatmeal bath.
I never heard my-
You left a sumac in the ass.
When I got sprayed by a skunk, I had to take-
I got skunked in Canadian Valley.
Tomato sauce bath.
That skunked?
How bad?
Pretty bad.
I had to do tomato bath.
Can't trust those vaccines.
I had to take a tomato bath, and then I just waited in the public pool for a while.
Threw a Nerf ball at a skunk, and it ate a bite, and I ran after it.
Now, chickenpox, they just say it's COVID.
Yeah.
I've never even been skunked.
That's what I say.
You've never been skunked?
I've never been skunked.
Oh, it reeks.
I've had skunks walk up so close they brushed my leg, and I just never got skunked.
Is skunk whisper?
I was out on the phone, the cell phone one night, talking to somebody in my driveway,
and I thought a cat walked by me, but it was a skunk, and he was walking,
and I just froze.
But you really got to agitate him.
Threw a Nerf ball at it.
They do not want to spray you.
Where'd you get skunk, Kyle?
In my yard.
What?
Yeah.
It was so cute.
Yeah.
And you went and tried to touch it?
I forget.
I was so young, but I remember taking like a tomato sauce bath.
Oh, my God.
A tomato sauce bath?
Yeah.
His mom only had paste picante.
Tomato sauce does it for everything.
It was something else.
Dunks are awesome.
Yeah.
They really are cool.
Yeah, they're great animals.
Oh, or porcupines.
Yeah.
Billy's got a porcupine.
Fuck.
Yeah.
No, it's bullshit.
Oh, a hedgehog.
That's got to be a hedgehog. That's got to be a hedgehog.
It's got to be a hedgehog.
You ever hit an armadillo with your car?
No.
Bounce.
I was watching a video of some porcupines
fighting off a fucking leopard or something like that.
Porcupines protecting their young against a leopard.
They shoot their quills out?
They don't shoot them, but they're all spiked up,
so it's like if you even get close to them,
you're going to get a... What was the one
in Homeward Bound that shoots the thing?
It was a porcupine. Oh, yeah. It shot it.
It got in the dog's face. No, not sassy. Chance
gets it. Chance. In his face.
That was a good film. Doesn't age well.
And if you look
in the making of how they did Homeward Bound, I think.
Or no, that was Milo and Otis. Yeah, they killed
like six dogs. Cats,
when they were done with the scene, just toss them in the river.
Wait, really?
Whoa!
That's what a porcupine looks like?
Yeah, well, it was a big one.
Oh, those quills sound sharp as fuck, too.
Oh, he went around the back door.
They're not getting it.
Is it protecting its little baby?
Two babies.
And it's working?
Two parents and two babies. Jesus. And it's working. Two parents and two babies.
Jesus.
And it works.
It's chasing them?
What is that?
It's a leopard?
This better not be a plot twist.
Get him!
Yeah, but it's not going to win, is it?
Oh, now it's got its...
Probably got one in it.
Oh, he's close.
I mean, that would suck to eat, though.
Still.
I don't think they have the mature quills yet.
That's why he's going for the babies.
And there's tiny enough to eat.
Oh, that's sick.
Good for the porcupines.
Isn't this kind of sick?
I like how we can't show sports highlights on Pick Central,
but you can just animal fight.
Yeah.
Oh, that was an awesome win for the
clip no no can't do it okay the bar comes and just hits all of them it feels like it feels like
if the tiger had some teamwork it'd be game over that cat looked like it was waiting for the camera
to go live what is this porcupine it's just there's no baby oh it's just trying to get some
porcupine ass.
Porcupines rock.
He's floating them out there like he's a peacock.
I didn't know they could do that.
Yeah, like a turkey.
Oh, shit.
There's a lot of these videos.
The cats have to win sometimes. Is the leopard there bleeding?
Leopards never learn, do they?
It looks like his paws are bleeding.
Damn, porcupine might have fucked up.
Oh, yeah, from doing that.
It's not learning.
Yeah.
I mean, they must taste fucking good then.
Yeah.
Keep doing this.
It doesn't look delicious.
It looked like a blooming onion.
Can you show a video of one succeeding in getting a kebab on its own grill?
A deep-fried porcupine?
Yeah.
Why can't it just sit down like a turtle?
It should be able to, but it might just be i think
there are entry points the leopard can get to it has to show him his back at all times that's where
the the quills really are it's a tough way to fight with your back oh you're back to something
i could keep my ass to you in a fight i don't think you could my neck my back you think any
animals out there in the wild just like bang each other and they're not the same
yeah i think that happens would be the best crossbreed of animals You think any animals out there in the wild just, like, bang each other and they're not the same? Hmm? Ooh.
Yeah, I think that happens sometimes. What would be the best crossbreed of animals?
A human and dog.
I think ligers exist.
Huh?
What about a shark gorilla?
That's fire.
Where would it live, Rico?
How would a shark and a gorilla meet?
Where are they fucking?
A shark and a hippopotamus.
How about this?
Oh, that works.
It's like Outback.
It could be land and sea.
Oh.
Oh, you're just thinking of eating it.
Where are they going to fuck, Rico?
Does the gorilla go into shallow water?
Sharks got to have an asshole, no?
Oh.
A shark has an asshole.
Sharks have assholes, too.
You didn't read Dave's book?
Yeah.
The book is so funny.
That book would be like An incredible seller
If it was released today
Sharks has feelings
Can we
Can it be re-released?
I don't know
It should be able to
Like 10th anniversary edition
Did you pull up a picture of it?
He
Millmore
I think did the illustrations
Crush that
Where's Millmore?
Millmore's still based on a mass right?
I believe so
He might be back here
He might be back here Really? I don't know But if he comes here Where is Like You could tell me Millmore? Millmore's still based out of Mass, right? I believe so. He might be back here. Is he coming here ever?
Really?
I don't know. But if he comes here, where is, like...
You could tell me Millmore has been working in this office for the last year, and I'd
be like, sure.
Does anyone really know what he looks like?
Yeah, no, I know him well.
I don't know him well enough like that.
Yeah, yeah.
I know he's a genius.
Millmore's a...
I know he's a genius.
Oh, gee.
Sharks have feelings, too.
He's just on, like, retainer.
They need something, they go to the
pen he comes back it's done in fucking five minutes and it's like it's crazy yeah he's the
best yeah 30 under 30 list or some shit like that should be i love those cartoons wasn't there like
i'm almost like a play like number like nine no he had the cartoons that are very recent like in
the like the new one. The new one.
He got more stock than Nate.
Hey, Brandon,
you got to go to
your daughter's softball game.
That rained out.
Oh!
Popcorn day rains again.
What did Rico say?
I just found out
about 20 minutes ago
it got rained out.
The text before Tommy was...
Do they do cheers still?
Chance?
Not really.
Those were the worst.
My sisters were horrible.
These things weren't really into it.
The worst.
Kill the wormies.
Kill, kill the wormies.
Yeah, that's bad.
Oh, my God.
I have them in my nightmares.
Well, HBCU women that do it are fucking awesome, though.
They were doing it at the brunch place I was at in Savannah.
They were doing it at the brunch place I was at in Savannah. They were?
It was funny, but they got kicked out.
They did?
Yeah, like the cops came and everything.
Black women do brunch well.
It's the worst one, KB.
What?
You ever hear the...
Oh, dude, softball champs.
They're the worst things we've ever...
H-O-M...
Wait, what is it?
They would just spell out the S-I-N-G-l-e oh that one but the so the expedited one with the single and they do the
cycle quick i never heard that you need a single just a little double t-r-i-p-l-e home run homer
i'm like i wanted to blow my brains out respectively hit that ball you can't hit that ball How were the HBCU ones?
Clever
I'm gonna find a
I'm gonna find a video
Because they're fucking incredible
I must have watched it back 20 times
Just because they had such sweet fucking cadences
And they were all so into it
They were all having a fucking blast
There we go
Ball in the dirt.
It's so aggressive.
Do you remember that?
Was there a lot of drama
with parents, girls,
like every game?
I'll give you a good one.
From my neighborhood,
cheerleading had some
big time drama.
Yeah.
Big time drama.
They collected money
for the shoes. There was like a well-to-do family that Yeah. Big-time drama. They collected money for the shoes.
There was, like, a well-to-do family that was helping buy other girls' sneakers.
Somebody was like,
Earth, Earth, yes!
Ball in the dirt, ball in the dirt, ball in the dirt.
She was the woman of taking the money.
Meanwhile, she bought five other girls' sneakers.
It was a whole big to-do.
They're going to throw the parents out of the parish.
The mother shows up and drops her off at cheerleading practice and goes,
any of these bitches say anything to you, let me know.
I'll punch them in the face.
They're 11 years old.
Yeah, those are the worst.
This was a wild drop.
They probably won Worlds in Orlando.
Oh, she hit that ball in the dirt.
Ball in the dirt.
That's electric.
Ball in the dirt.
Yeah, cheerleading moms are crazy.
Dance moms, cheerleading moms, because they're trying to live vicariously.
Stop playing in a football league.
We switched football leagues because the cops were being called every weekend.
For what?
Like, we stopped playing Staten Island Boys.
I went to Staten Island Pee Wee because the cops.
How were the umps in Staten Island?
I bet they were crazy.
You know, usual shit.
Yeah.
They're crazy everywhere. A bunch of characters. We did have a ref growing up, Crack Hits, didn usual shit. Yeah. They're crazy everywhere.
A bunch of characters.
We did have a ref growing up, Crackhead Stewie.
No joke.
Crackhead Stewie.
Describe him.
Oh, he's Crackhead.
Okay.
Oh.
How's he doing now?
Who's his name?
Ed.
I got the notification a couple years ago, yeah.
Oh, no.
Then he refed our men's leagues, and you were old enough to talk to him.
He'd have a beer with you after the game, but.
I bet. Like, don't guess, Stewie, and you were old enough to talk to him. He'd have a beer with you after the game. I bet.
Like, don't guess, Stewie.
He was bad.
Share a pipe with him?
This was decades ago or what?
We were growing up.
Yeah, you'd be like, the parents would slip, and they'd be like,
the refs would come in for the two-game set or the three-game set.
They'd be like, oh, the coach would be like, oh, shit, we got crack at Stewie.
So you were like 10 years old, and we were like, dad, look, it's crack at Stewie.
Like, no joke.
Our parents would be like, you can't say that.
He recently died?
Yeah.
You can get a bunch of years on crack.
What?
Yeah.
Dude, Gilly and Wallow talk about a crackhead on their podcast, this dude named Karate,
that I know from like North Philly.
My high school was in North Philly.
And I saw this dude Karate for fucking years.
He would come outside.
People would like pay him money to rap
but he was like a crackhead
and like Wallo talks about
on the podcast
being like
I wish fucking karate
was my dad.
Like mom I wish you
fuck karate.
And she was like
karate pays for pussy
and he's a crackhead.
It's hilarious
but I know the same crackhead
because he's so legendary.
I think crackheads are
Stick around.
Yeah they're unkillable.
They kind of preserve themselves.
Every town needs a good crackhead.
We didn't have a crackhead.
We had a guy with shell shock from the war,
and he rode around on his bike with a bunch of flags.
Right.
He wasn't a crackhead?
Moondog.
He's a legend.
No, Moondog.
He's a booze hound.
I don't know who the crackhead was in my town.
My dad would never find him.
Yeah.
Who could it be?
I don't know.
Dad stayed up all hours of the night looking for him.
It was weird. Crackhead out. He up all hours of the night looking for him. It was weird.
Crackhead out.
He would stay out in the barn looking for him.
He would wander in the woods looking for him.
Howdy, are you the town crackhead?
He never would quite find me.
I never got in front of a mirror.
We'll find him.
Hey, wait a second.
There he is.
He's in the middle of the wall.
It's like OJ after.
He would always just be on a golf course like,
we're still looking for the killer.
Dante taking shots.
You?
No, just.
Why are you looking at people taking shots right now?
I was scrolling.
Having fun.
We're yakking.
We're eating.
It's popcorn day.
I know.
It stopped me on my trip.
I'm starting to get stressed about.
Me too.
I want to start cleaning it.
I was about to ask.
Malasek's going to help as well.
I'm going to stay and clean all of this.
Yeah, me too. I just like to put some in a bucket right going to help as well. I'm going to stay and clean all of this.
Yeah, me too.
I'd just like to put some in a bucket right now if that's okay.
Why don't you go grab the broom?
I'll go get the broom.
Yeah.
What's the plan of action?
Grab an empty trash can.
I think it's broom and then vacuum cleaner.
Do you want to do high noon, Rone?
Of course I do.
The perfect time.
Yeah, perfect time. Let's talk about high noon, hard s? Of course I do. The perfect time. Yeah, yeah. Perfect time.
Let's talk about high noon, hard seltzer.
It's the freaking weekend.
I was surreptitiously enjoying high noons last night during the NFL draft show,
and man, were they sweet.
I could finally come clean.
This ball?
You got smoked in the face with the ball. What the fuck?
On his back. Do we have a clip of that? Someone face with a ball. What the fuck? On his back.
Do we have a clip of that?
Someone threw him a ball.
I think Spider threw him a ball.
He's got to hit the fence.
What just happened?
Oh, he's good.
Yeah, he's goofing.
You know what's not a goof to me, though?
High Noon.
A hard seltzer made with real vodka, real juice, and sparkling water.
And it's actually made with vodka, not the malt like the other hard seltzers.
Nothing cheeses me off more than when I go to a pub, bar, establishment, tavern, ask for a seltzer.
They tell me that they have some off-brand bunk.
I don't want the off-brand bunk.
I want the pure high noon hard seltzer, the perfect refreshing drink for a hot day.
I could take the big cans if they had them too.
I can handle the big cans.
700 milliliters, I can handle it.
Peach and pineapple.
Of course, I love the grapefruit, but that doesn't stop me from enjoying 100 calories worth of kiwi, guava, mango, passion fruit.
You'll feel like you are on a tropical oasis with these high noons.
You're going to enjoy yourself.
And, hey, the next day is not going to be that bad either
because you're not putting that off-brand bunk into your body.
Look for them on Drizzly or at your local convenience store
or your liquor store right by you or visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you.
Imagine if they had those big cans when Rico found out.
Oh, my God.
He would be looking like Marie Antoinette.
He'd be looking like Ichabod Crane.
He'd be looking like he went down one of those Kansas water slides.
Shitter blonde, shitter blonde.
It's probably inaccurate because...
Ikebob crane.
Oh, man.
Trying to throw a bowling ball.
You like that crane?
Ikebob crane.
Every now and then I'll drop an Ikebob crane.
I forgot about that headlifter.
What a funny fucking name.
That's hilarious.
I'm trying to write a horror book.
I'm going to name it Ikebob.
Ikebob.
Ikebob.
Motherfucking Ikebob. I might name my son Ikebob. I'm going to name him Ichabod. Ichabod. Motherfucking Ichabod.
I might name my son Ichabod.
Oh, you got him.
Ichabod.
Ichabod.
Ichabod Crane.
He had no head.
No head.
He put a pumpkin on his head.
He was a goof.
I didn't know that.
If you ran, look at this kid.
He runs like Ichabod Crane.
That's the Headless Horseman.
That's an underrated characterman. That's like weird.
Headless Horseman.
That's an underrated character.
Yeah, it really is.
Can you get us a picture of Ichabod Crane?
Oh, my mom, now.
I didn't know that's why they meant it.
Show Ichabod Crane.
Ichabod is such a ridiculous name.
It sounds like an acronym for, like, stopping the police, the FBI.
Ichabod.
Yeah, I'm Ichabod.
No. Ichabod.
I don't believe in capitalism.
I'm an Ichabod.
Oh, look at this dude.
I didn't know that's why they did it.
Fucking Ichabod.
We're going in shifts, right?
All right.
Enough brooms?
We're going shifts., right? All right. Enough brooms? We're going shifts.
Someone's got a yak.
We're going shifts.
You guys do this, and then we'll get a vacuum.
No, we're good for right now, Spider.
Can we put on like a karaoke of closing time or some shit?
Wait, wait, wait.
Before you do it.
Shit, we all want to take a picture and be like,
wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Stop, stop for a second.
Move out of the way, Rico.
I'm going to try to recreate the Blue Jays picture
and be like, my pregnant husband
has to pick up all the popcorn.
Oh, shit.
Damn.
Oh, that's counterproductive.
He can't break balls.
He's just breaking balls.
All right, Ickabod Crate.
Ickabod.
I think I'm sweating from not smoking weed last night.
Ichabod.
The name Ichabod's making me high.
Giggling like a stoner.
Well, now I feel bad that you guys do this we're just sitting here what are
you all right you sit down you sit down you sit down we tap in vacuum.
It's all in the chair.
Sure. Alright. Rico, why don't you get to quit? All right.
Why did you get to quit?
No, I was talking about a bigger picture.
Why did he get to quit and then come back to the company?
You came back pretty quick, too.
No, I didn't get to quit.
They didn't let me quit.
I technically didn't quit.
I said I was quitting quitting but then there was no
relay i mean you hugged ever you hugged everybody yeah that's for your own yeah i mean you did that
on your own is key card this is this is what does he have now i never got it back you don't have a
key card oh you don't work here now yeah i do i got. I got that app. Oh, app. Oh, Malice. Bravo.
Rizzio.
Are you fucking kidding me?
So we're just going to be vacuuming while doing the show?
We're still doing the show.
I think we have to do one more ad.
Brandon, you've had plenty of dogs in your time.
Oh, I have.
Well, you should feed them farmer's dogs.
It's like Big Cat Feeds.
Delicious.
Is that that real dog food
yeah when you look at bags of dog food you see pictures of bright carrots juicy steaks when you
open the bag yeah it doesn't really look like oh it doesn't look like dog food at all sabotaging
unlike outback great sponsor yeah uh so feed your dog the farmer's dog is real fresh healthy food
with whole meat and veggies gently cooked in human-grade kitchens to preserve their nutritional value.
Just tell them.
So, what are your dogs' favorite regular foods?
Oh, they love to eat from the table, but you shouldn't feed a dog from the table.
Is that right?
I never had a dog.
No, you shouldn't feed a dog from the table because human food is not really made for dogs.
You can have chocolate.
Well, that's true. But this is the good stuff made for dogs. You can have chocolate. Well, that's true.
But this is the good stuff made for dogs.
Yes, yes.
What dogs should be eating?
The Farmer's Dog food arrives in pre-portioned, ready-to-serve packs,
conveniently delivered on your schedule.
Dog people across the country.
Hey, Nate.
Nate, have a seat, buddy.
Dog people across the country have ordered millions of meals.
Okay, then fucking leave, then.
It's never been easier to invest in your dog's health with fresh food.
Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at thefarmersdog.com slash yak.
Plus, you get free shipping.
Just go to thefarmersdog.com to get 50% off.
That's farmersdog.com.
Brandon, I actually have a solution for Popcorn Day.
Yeah?
So you and I participated wholeheartedly, gave it our all, did a great job.
We bought in.
So Popcorn Day has been removed from my name wheel. Right. But something I want to do is add Popcorn Day 2, but it's going to be different.
It's not going to have anything to do with actual movie theater popcorn.
What it'll be is because people were encouraging me to go to the movies or do something off show,
we all go to a corn maze and race.
And in the middle, let's say there are ten of us,
there will be nine balloons.
And everyone is going to have to pop their balloon.
And once you pop your balloon, you're out.
You have to pop your own.
You have to find your own balloon.
They'll all be in the middle.
They're going to be color-coded?
No, in the middle.
Yeah, yeah.
They'll all have their names. You're supposed going to be color-coded? No, they're in the middle. Yeah, yeah. They'll just be anywhere in the maze.
They'll have their name.
Where's the closest corn maze?
Probably not close.
Yeah.
Might have to wait until we're in Chicago.
Maybe.
Might have to go to Iowa and do it.
A lot of corn out there.
There has to be.
They got baseball fields and corn out there.
I mean, this is a rural.
There's corn in Jersey?
Corn mazes?
Jersey corn.
I've never heard of Jersey corn. I've heard of Jersey tomatoes. There's corn in Jersey. Corn majors. Jersey corn. I've never heard of Jersey corn.
I've heard of Jersey tomatoes.
Jersey corn, Jersey tomatoes.
Jersey is shockingly rural in some places.
Yes.
Yeah.
Lots of farmland south.
Have I spun the wheel yet?
Might as well do that shit.
Yeah, let's do that.
TJ, if you want to spin the wheel.
The wheel is spinning right now.
Oh.
All right, it's dry.
All right.
All right.
Yeah, that's fine.
All right.
Good.
We'll move all the chairs after. All right, I do have to go. All right. Good. We'll move all the chairs after.
All right.
I do have to go.
All right.
Okay.
So you're ending popcorn day?
There's nothing better than making a huge mess and living in that moment where you're like,
I'll never have to clean it up.
Like just destroying a bunch of shit.
You don't get it that often.
Yeah.
I used to finish beer bottles in college
Throw them against the wall
Big pile of glass
You're like I'll never
Yeah
It's the best
Big cat did you hear my replacement idea
For popcorn day
Adding something to my name wheel
Popcorn day 2
So it'll be a
We'll all go to
Wait wait
Go on
Wait
Is he telling you all about the popcorn idea?
Popcorn day
I'm listening
You
You have my interest
It won't have anything to do with
Popcorn
Like movie popcorn
Okay
But since we wanted to do something somewhat off show
We all go to a corn maze
Oh
Race to the middle
Oh Where balloons with our names on it
will be and you pop your balloon
and once you do that you're out
the last person will have some type of punishment
the only problem is Stephen Shea
that pop your balloon and you're out
you're still in the middle of a corn maze
but you're racing to the middle
I got lost in a corn maze
why would you want to race to the middle isn't there just an exit
I think
better than that. You go find your balloon
and then you run it out and then you can pop
it.
Okay.
Hear me out. What if we bought a
trampoline? Wait, what?
What's a popcorn on a
trampoline? Everyone sits there.
One person jumps and
the trampoline, there's a moat around the trampoline with pir sits there. Oh, yes. One person jumps, and the trampoline,
there's a moat around the trampoline with piranhas.
That was a fun game, that popping corn thing.
So much fun.
I loved getting popped.
Best.
When was the first time you got popped, Nick?
You never forget your first.
Mine was my big, so it was over at the neighbor's house,
but we weren't bouncing with them.
It was me and my Chinese neighbor, Vincent Gu, GU.
Paul is hell, right?
Paul is hell.
6'11".
Still is.
Goofy on his jersey.
Look, Gu, we played lacrosse with him.
He just stood in front of the goal.
Called him the Great Wall of China.
His last name was Gu, GU.
On that big-ass jersey.
Name is big on that triple-X jersey.
Wish him well.
I think he's a mechanical engineer now.
Fuck yeah.
What are you doing to your fucking microphone stand?
Fixing it.
But you know that you're twisting it around.
We spun the wheel?
Shut up.
It's dry.
Better not be Antonio Brown.
Oh my goodness.
Giovanni Bernard.
That's the last one ever.
Sad.
Fun player to root for.
You're giddy.
I love that guy.
He's got a great name.
Actually, sometimes he'll come up on my Instagram algorithm once in a while,
and I follow him, and every time I see it, I just comment,
Giovanni Bernard.
How do you comment that?
Type his name.
Are you typing findings?
No, I hit comment, and then I write his name under his post.
How do you comment it like that?
It just says Giovanni Bernard.
You throw in weird symbols?
He sees the comment, and it's just you commenting his name.
Throw in the Italian flag?
Oh, he knows me.
Right, but...
How do you stylize the text to give it that sound?
Capitals.
No, no.
Can you just not do it?
Can we find one of these in script books?
What capitals?
You don't need to do the little fucking Italian hands?
No, just capitals.
You got to do the little fucking italian hands no just capital you gotta do the italian hands i guess do you see how that would be confusing for anyone else but like more but
not to him just you yeah but not to him but he he probably has a lot of followers and he might not
just see you immediately i think he's just but does he see that it's you does he follow you
yes i think so like from an outsider it's like
this random asian dude just keeps like confirming that it is giovanni bernard yeah yeah i mean he
he likes yes it's two likes
it's like yes that is giovanni bernard It's two likes.
It's like, yes, that is Giovanni Bernard.
Giovanni Bernard.
Steven, I'm all for this because really the best jokes are the ones that make you laugh.
So it's like you're having a good time.
Yeah.
From the outside, it is very funny.
Labeling his name. I don't go out of my way but, yeah, if he's popping up on my feed,
I'm going to comment that.
Yeah, of course.
That's Giovanni Bernard.
You should go out of your way now.
I bet it's going to get way more likes now.
Also, wait, go back to that post.
Giovanni Bernard.
So they shared it with him, but someone could see this from the UNC football
account and be like, memorable moment in Chrome, and you're like, who is that?
Yeah, you might have helped. Oh have helped us see Giovanni Bernard.
Yeah.
Do we have any others?
He doesn't post that often.
You're the best, Steven.
You really are.
When I met him, he said
whenever it happens, a bunch of his friends will send it to him.
What do you mean?
Like whenever I do one of those videos.
Can we put on a sad song and you do a minute straight of Giovanni Bernard to commemorate him?
Something that we know will get sent to him by his friends?
I feel like I would have to do it to a song.
Like Sarah McLachlan in the arms of an angel?
Okay.
Or Daniel Powder had a bad day.
Yeah, yeah. Or I Will Remember You or some shit? Yeah, I could do any of an Angel. Okay. I was thinking. Or Daniel Powder, Had a Bad Day. Yeah, yeah.
Or I Will Remember You or some shit.
Yeah, I could do any of those, I think.
Let's queue that up.
Who's I Will Remember You?
Leon Rimes?
Yeah, that is.
You know what?
Who is that?
That was Giovanni Bernard.
Yeah.
All right there.
Who is that, Rowan?
Leon Rimes?
Sarah McLachlan.
Is it McLachlan as well?
That's a sad song, Princess.
Is it?
Yes.
It's who?
Sarah McLachlan.
She does all that sad stuff?
Yeah, that's what her brand was.
Really?
That'd be awesome.
You know how to nice little sad run?
Am I remembering?
Melissa Etheridge?
Wasn't she sad?
She was more lesbian.
Wait, hold on. Let me just get a refresher of how this goes. What about Enya? Am I remembering? Melissa Etheridge? She was more lesbian.
Let me just get a refresher of how this goes.
Enya. Enya.
Okay.
Giovanni Bernard.
Giovanni Bernard.
Sing it to the tune.
Use some of the lyrics.
Giovanni
Bernard.
Giovanni Bernal. Giovanni Bernal.
Giovanni Bernal.
Giovanni Bernard.
Here we go.
Giovanni Bernard.
Giovanni Bernard.
Giovanni Bernard.
Giovanni Bernard.
Giovanni Bernard
Giovanni Bernard
Oh my God!
The whole song.
Jesus Christ!
Giovanni Bernard.
Giovanni Bernard.
Giovanni Bernard.
Giovanni...
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
Find it.
This is Bernard.
I need that in the chorus. Giovanni Bernard. You got it This is
I need the course. I'm not as maybe just talk about it for a little bit. Maybe be like
Talk about your time once upon me to be the backup singer. He was a boss. Drafted in Cincinnati.
He was a Bengal number 25.
From UNC, Calebresley. He signed with the Bucs one year.
He was our third down back.
He got hurt scoring a touchdown at the Los Angeles Rams.
He was out for several games.
It was sad for my Twitter interaction. But he came back and rode the bench so admirably.
Let's do it right here.
Giovanni Bernard
Giovanni Bernard
Giovanni Bernard
Giovanni Bernard
Giovanni Bernard.
Thank you for the memories.
Holy fuck.
Steven.
Steven.
Can we please put out a whole Steven Che Buck's album?
That was unreal.
I'm in tears right now.
He's so great.
I'm going to watch that back a hundred times
tonight. He was alright. I was hoping it was going to be
a little better.
What did you think?
It was your best performance ever.
That was borderline perfect.
It was okay. I was hoping it was borderline perfect. It was okay.
I was hoping he'd be better.
Kind of a bust.
Oh, man.
You got to post that and tag him.
See if he'll co-collaborate on that.
Okay.
Invite him to co-collaborate.
He was a very good dude when I met him.
And the Yak people are so clever that they're already figuring out how the name fits in other, like a rock one, a fucking.
I know he's going to.
Are you down with JPP?
No, what I need is I need everyone on the Yak to follow Giovanni Bernard at any time he posts.
Everybody say his name.
His name.
All caps.
No other emojis.
Just his name. Giovanni Bernard All caps. No other emojis. Just his name.
Giovanni Bernard.
Just give me a giggle.
Even Shay still wins Popcorn Day.
How do you do the R?
How do you do the R?
You've got a couple of those.
Incredible.
Giovanni Bernard.
Giovanni Bernard. Giovanni Bernard.
Okay, beautifully done, brother.
Thank you.
You've got a nice singing voice.
Thank you.
You've got a good tone.
I'll sing another sad song and let him rock through it.
We've got to let Shannon get – we need to – remember Shannon, the Yak fan who has a perfect pitch or whatever, we need to get an assessment of what Che just did there
because I think it might have been a master class.
Oh, geez.
Master class.
Linda's still interacting with you guys?
A bit.
Yeah, she calls in every now and then.
I mean, we got Athens North up in Philly.
We got all them dogs up in Philly now.
Her son also writes for the Dozen.
Really? Yeah.
He's the real Alan.
He is?
No.
It made sense.
It made sense for
a hot second right there.
I'm going to burlesque tonight.
What?
Yeah.
I'm going to burlesque, yeah.
What does that mean?
I actually don't know.
It's the same people that do, like, the burlesque Christmas show every year.
Just fucking.
Well, describing it, you just said burlesque.
You don't know what burlesque is?
You don't know what a burlesque dancer is?
I don't.
That's why I asked.
Racy dancing.
Adding the word Christmas didn't really help me at all.
We do a Star Wars burlesque show in New York City.
It's just fat women? That's another thing you've just added
to burlesque. These ladies ain't fat.
Oh, really? They're in good shape.
It's like circus almost,
but circus with a little bit of nudity.
What was I thinking of?
I guess there's some
types of burlesque that involve fatties.
I know what you meant.
I think you meant grotesque.
Oh, shut up. What was the B? It's going to of burlesque that involve fatties. I know what you meant. I think you meant grotesque. Oh, shut up.
What was the B?
It's going to be burlesque.
Buxom.
Buxom.
Buxom.
Buxom burlesque show would be like it.
Buxom isn't always over.
Oh, it's just big titties.
Buxom is big titties.
Huge titties.
Buxom lady.
You know what I love?
When people put the M in voluptuous and they make it volumptuous.
Oh, that's like a snack. And they say it on put the M in voluptuous and they make it voluptuous. Oh!
Sounds like a snack. And they say it on accident.
They go voluptuous. They don't know what they're saying. They think they're saying it right, but they
say voluptuous instead.
That shit sounds good.
She was voluptuous.
A voluptuous woman.
Voluptuous man.
Cancer.
You got a cancer? That's like cancer. Voluptuous man. Cancer. You got a cancer?
That's like cancer.
Cancer.
Voluptuous.
Voluptuous.
Voluptuous.
Thought his ass was going no brim.
Hey, how was Jerry chopping those brims off last night?
I don't know.
He did look like a Muslim, though.
There were multiple people that went brimless after him.
Yeah.
Drake Sizzle.
Copping my steez.
Is that yours?
Oh, yeah.
He's a brimless guy.
I invented that.
I didn't invent it
but I brought it to the
Oh you invented it.
That shit's voluptuous.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Case race one.
Wait you were in your
That was when I made it.
I was in my house.
Oh.
I went out on case race one.
Da da da da da da. Giovanni That was when I made it. I was in my house. Oh. I went out on case race once.
I can't wait for it. You're done with JPP.
You're done with JPP.
It's a Green Day song.
Oh, Time of Your Life.
Another running back.
What do you think, Che?
That seems like a song Che loves, too. I know that song, yeah.
Think you could work with that?
Another running back.
Want to end the act with one more?
Another running back.
Fourth down in the cold.
Write some lyrics first.
I'll just do it.
Oh, you got it off the top of your dome?
I don't know. I mean... He's like Jay-Z but on no pen.
Like, what about Giovanni Bernard?
I think that's true, Roan.
Jay-Z and Biggie sat down for the first time.
He gave him the paper and the pen
and he slid it back and they were both like, oh, you too?
Always like folklore.
That does sound interesting.
It's too complex.
What they're saying is too complex.
There's like an old Snoop Dogg verse that he actually –
like on the dog pound, there's some that he like actually freestyled,
and you can tell that it's just he went in.
But Lil Wayne's style of freestyling, he'll go in and do two lines,
and then he'll stop, and then he'll think of something.
So he's not technically writing down, but it's not like –
I mean, when we saw benny the butcher yeah i mean he didn't he basically listened to it like three
or four times he's like all right i got it yeah i think that that's something that a lot of rappers
like to say they do but they just don't like to be seen yeah i would say that none of them
legitimately freestyle yeah they're not just making why would you oh well they just said jay-z
never wrote anything down same with-Z never wrote anything down.
Same with Biggie.
Oh.
Never wrote anything down.
They went to go collab on a song, and he was like, all right, you want to write some stuff?
Do a verse?
And he was like, nah, I don't use that.
And the other one was like, I don't use that.
Interesting.
There's no way that he was just in there coming up with my stamina be enough for Pamela Anderson.
Think about it in their head.
He's not just coming up with that on the top of his head.
They're typing it up in a Starbucks.
Yep. With the rest of the unemployed. They're typing it up in a Starbucks. Yep.
With the rest of the unemployed people.
What a WeWork.
Yeah.
People pretending to have jobs.
Little Wayne?
He goes to the same WeWork as me.
What percentage of people you think that you see at a Starbucks on any given day
are lying to their spouse about having a job,
and they pretend to be out for the entire
day.
I think that it's 5% of everybody you see.
I don't think it's a massive percentage, but there's a non-negligible amount of people
just pretending to have a job.
Yeah.
More than zero.
But then, how long can that last until you justify having to pay for shit?
Yeah.
The other person's like, yo.
Would you go about a week?
What?
Don't be mean to Rico.
Why?
Does this thing, Dan.
It's my thing.
He's on thin ice, and then he just drags everybody down the water with him.
Yeah, that's true.
Drag you to the middle of the pond with me.
Throwing under the bus when the bus is coming for you is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't throw him under the bus.
I grab him and bring him under with me.
Then you back up and roll him right over again. Hold on to me. That's going to get hit by this't throw them under the bus. I grab them and bring them under with me. Then you back up
and roll them right over again.
That's the thing. You have time
to step out of the way from the bus, but you're just like,
no, I'll pull people in front of me. I can never get out from under the bus.
I just got to get Rico in there with me.
If enough people get hit by this bus,
maybe we'll hit back.
Yeah, maybe we'll stop the bus.
We got Mincy there with us now.
I'll slow it down. Mincy can always get out from under the bus. We got Mincy there with us now. Don't slow it down.
Mincy can always get out from under the bus.
He's wriggly.
He just takes a different shape.
He's T-1000.
Just walks through the bus.
No.
Comes out and just shakes it off like this.
What was that?
I guess I didn't wake up.
The fact that he left at 8.30 for the flight.
He could have easily done a wake up with Mincy.
And the fact that you said,
you got some time to kill.
He's like, yeah, just waiting to get to the hotel room.
He's like, oh.
Time to the 12.30 land?
2 o'clock. Taking a nap. Yeah. There's 12, oh. Time doesn't help. 12.30 land? 2 o'clock.
You could take a nap.
Yeah.
There's 12.30.
He's out of LaGuardia.
Oh, there's one out of JFK and LaGuardia.
LaGuardia is about 10 minutes from here.
You should have just done a groomsman wake-up,
Mincy.
It would have been electric.
You could have done it in the Uber.
You could have done it in the Uber.
You could have done it any long as the show.
As long as he wants.
20?
All he's got to do is wake up.
Oh, no.
He's got ad reads. How long is the show? As long as he wants. All he's got to do is wake up. Oh, no, he's got ad reads.
How many?
Two.
More than me.
One more producer, too.
Two more than me.
Two more producers, yeah.
My fault.
This guy's a full-time.
Brandon, but you probably have a bunch of your own producers too right
my dream when I set out of Barstool a couple years ago was to just go back to Mississippi
and have them hire me somebody that follows me around lets me do stuff and now he has achieved
that dream God bless him you see what God has done for other people yeah make you pray a little
bit harder at church on Sunday maybe I'm not acting right you're right maybe you get right with God maybe you donate a little bit more money to on Sunday. Maybe I'm not acting right. You're right. Maybe you get right with God.
Maybe you donate a little bit more money to church.
Boy, you ain't acting.
You talking about my tithe?
Faith don't look so bad.
10% or what?
You talking about my tithe?
8%?
10.
Yay.
Embrace the faith, dude.
Help me.
We're a religious company now.
Yeah.
Are we getting out of here?
Yeah, Stephen's got his last song and then we we getting out of here Or are we
Yeah we're
Steven's got his last song
And then we're getting out of here
You ready Steven
It's been an
Awesome yak
Popcorn day
Popcorn day
I really think
For sounding success
I really think
I could have powered through that
Shit
That would have been funny at the end
Just like full belly
We all could have
It was just the fact that
It was going to be the worst listening Loudest Of all time it's gonna take too long we couldn't talk yeah
but i'm not that funny so like just let me eat read that's my that was what i rationed out i was
like let the i'll do the eating the aces yeah let the aces pitch here i'll no no no just eat then
you just zoom in i'm fucking dying oh, you've been a breath of fresh air.
Rico's a great yakker.
Yeah, two Fridays in a row.
He's been crushing it.
Real environment.
All positivity.
You know what I mean?
No.
Yeah, it makes you think it's probably just Dave, huh?
He's the one that's going to drag us both down.
Is that what you were saying to me before?
Three, yeah.
Brandon might be in that.
Yeah.
Two, he thinks he's dragging him down.
You were saying before, it's like, when it's just me and you, man,
like, we're good.
It's just Dave.
Real super.
Not to get negative.
Let's cut somebody out of this equation.
All right, you ready, Che?
Yeah.
He's always so confident. Yes, it's amazing. He's always so confident.
Yes, it's amazing.
It's crazy.
Shit.
Shit.
Fuck.
Love this song.
Last episode of Seinfeld.
Another off-season, a fox stuck in the road
injured and wreck you where to go should i retire after 10 seasons my name is giovanni
bernard something unpredictable I just got married.
It's time to go on my honeymoon.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't think he could follow up, but he's doing it.
That instrumental play.
And let's rock the second verse.
On Instagram I have a picture of scrappy doo number 25 on the field and number one in your
heart my name is giovanni bernard i am a pass catching running back from north carolina
a lot just do all Giovanni Bernard.
Giovanni Bernard.
Giovanni Bernard. Giovanni Bernard.
On the box, I scored three touchdowns.
25 catches over two years.
I wish my legs could have stayed much healthier.
I would have gotten so much more tweets.
Not money.
Not tweets.
I would have gotten so many more tweets.
If his legs stayed up, he would have got more tweets.
Radical disaster.
Take us home.
Number 25 on the field.
Number one in your heart.
My name is Giovanni Bernard Wow, baby.
The double roll.
Not just a one-hit wonder.
Thank you, GB.
Thank you, GB.
Thank you for everything.
Can we maybe do a graphic saying in memory of Giovanni Bernard?
End of the show.
Retiring at age 31.
Wish his legs stayed healthier, man.
He would have got so much more tweets.
I was like, more money, more.
So many more tweets.
Playing time, more money.
All of it.
Touches, more tweets.
More tweets.
My God, forever. Yeah. All right. All of it. More touches, more tweets. More tweets. My God, forever.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
Great show, boys.
See everyone on Monday.
Have a great weekend, everyone.
Thanks for watching.
Like the video.
Oh, man. It's the act. It's the act.
It's your straws, yeah, style, okay, for a while.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to stock shop, we're doing Yankee pop. It's the act.
It's the act. Thank you.