The Yak - All Business Pete Hasn't Had Fun in 20 Years | The Yak 4-10-24

Episode Date: April 10, 2024

Too Much PointYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. Oh, early. It's the Yak. Everyone's back. And we got special guest John Feidelberg. Hi, guys.
Starting point is 00:00:39 As well as Will Compton going to join us in 15. I miss you. Oh, Roback.com. Roback.com. Promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase Q-Zips Polos Hoodies
Starting point is 00:00:47 Joggers Shorts I'm wearing the joggers right now Roback.com Promo code Yak Nicholas Boys I missed you I missed you like crazy
Starting point is 00:00:57 You got a new look Yeah Yeah but what is it? I can't tell I have a mustache I guess Yeah it's a bigger mustache I guess I just shaved the beard off.
Starting point is 00:01:05 So you went to Italy and all you got was this mustache? That's all I got. Tell us everything. You want to know everything? You have a slideshow? No. No. Wait, so Rome and then where else?
Starting point is 00:01:16 Florence. Florence. Yeah. Did you see David? No. No. But you know what I did see? Bumped into her.
Starting point is 00:01:23 Zendaya. What? Yeah. Are you sure? Didn't see David, but I saw Zendaya. Are you know what I did see? Bumped into her. Zendaya. What? Yeah. Are you sure? Didn't see David, but I saw Zendaya. Are you sure? Yeah, there was that tennis movie, and I stumbled upon the premiere, and I bumped into Zendaya. Really?
Starting point is 00:01:33 Yeah. Zendaya or Zendaya? Don't know. I think it's Zendaya. It's Zendaya. Zendaya? Yeah. I said Zendaya in the worst of times.
Starting point is 00:01:39 But she wishes you all the best. Well, everyone knows Zendaya, but for people who don't, who is she? Zendaya is a musician and more famously an actress. An actress. Why would you start with the left? I honestly didn't even know she was a musician. Ronald Reagan. Chronologically.
Starting point is 00:01:58 What? She's in Spider-Man. Euphoria, Dune. Okay, I don't watch these movies. She dates Tom Holland, who, by the way, those two might be in a bit of a star is born situation. Oh, that's true. But she's in this new tennis movie where she has a threesome with two tennis players.
Starting point is 00:02:13 Yes. Whoa, wait. Who is the name of the woman who Howard Stern rigged for American Idol? No, that was Catherine McPhee. Ah, okay. But I was voting for her. I was close. And Jaya?io eric the midget had a crush on katherine mcphee yes to a stalker level maybe the same season you know who else is a big
Starting point is 00:02:33 crush on katherine mcphee jerry thornton wow oh he's she like doing shit to warrant no i don't i think those crushes died down but he used to talk about katherine mcphee he probably has a lot of crush at what age can you not have crushes anymore uh 13 yeah yeah no no later later i don't think i think once you start having sex you can't be crushing you can't have a crush if you can fuck if i said i had a crush on someone people like ew yes yeah yeah like i have i have crushes on dudes now that yeah yeah wait there's got to be a word for that. You don't have a crush on Ryan Gosling? I have a crush on Ryan Gosling.
Starting point is 00:03:11 I'm pretty confident saying that. I have like three active crushes right now. Men or women? Both. Are you talking about girls that are attainable? Possibly. It can't be like a celeb crush. It has to be somebody you can meet.
Starting point is 00:03:27 So I could have a crush on Zendaya, but you guys couldn't because you've never seen her in person. Actually, I have. Really? I have as well. We didn't know it was her. Brandon and I, I think we're sitting almost right next to her at Teterboro, the private airport to go out to a college football game. And we got on the plane
Starting point is 00:03:45 and Dave was like, oh, Big F was like, hey, you see that was in, and Dave like lost his mind. Bray and I were like maybe sitting right next to her and didn't fucking know. I'm a big Jack fan.
Starting point is 00:03:54 We have to say excuse me to her to walk through. I brought you guys stuff. Oh, hell yes. Wait, wait, so wait, tell us about the trip. You did go to Italy, right? It's not like you went to Disney World.
Starting point is 00:04:07 Not a bit. Yeah, I went to Italy. I went to Rome and Florence. Came back. Vacation. Historical sites, obviously. You did the Colosseum. Yes.
Starting point is 00:04:17 What was your favorite fun fact you learned in the Colosseum? Your favorite fact. I didn't do any tours or anything. You didn't do any tours? No fun facts? I actually did on my Quest 3. On VR? What's that?
Starting point is 00:04:28 Dude, I just walked around, had wine. I had no plans. I wanted it to be like a... I didn't want to be a vacation where you came back tired. Did you stay gluten-free? Listen to this. Listen to this shit. I could eat a lot of the shit over there.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Because it's not... It's different. It's not poison. The way it's like the shit over there. Because it's not... It's different. It's not poison, but they're poisoning us. The way it's like, the flour is done. I did eat some stuff where I had some little hang-ups.
Starting point is 00:04:51 It is crazy going to Europe and realizing, like, we probably are just poisoning ourselves all the time. Chef Donnie told me it's, like, already too late. Like, it's in our soil
Starting point is 00:04:59 that we can't just go back. Oh, nice. It's a bummer, but I went to McDonald's there. Oh. Was it good? I got the McToast, and that got me sick. What was the McToast?
Starting point is 00:05:10 It'll get you sick. The McToast will get you every time. Oh, yeah, Greer's here. Greer's here. He just happens to be here. How were the Sigs? Sigs are great. Really, really great.
Starting point is 00:05:21 Did you do the Femme Sigs? The really skinny, long ones? No, no, no no those are the ones dude i panicked when i got to the uh when i got to the place to buy cigarettes i just got marbs marbs yeah dude i did i came coming back through duty free i just stocked up on sleeves of the fems those are cool fuck yeah no i smoked the entire time all my luggage reeks uh i slept with the window open the first night i have like 50 mosquito bites down my back oh i looked just yeah it's bad i would have some on my face thought italy
Starting point is 00:05:50 didn't have mosquitoes oh they're european they're different yeah oh by the way we um i want to get to your gifts so there is a fart gate going on so what happened kyle farted right in this mic 12 hours fart eliminator happened this mic 12 hours ago fart eliminator happened multiple times fart eliminator happened but we didn't do it my ass cheeks which would be probably the best best body part to clean with is your ass cheeks why is that?
Starting point is 00:06:16 it's soft you could lube it up with soap what did you say? I'm confused what you're saying I think the ass cheek would be the best thing, body part, to clean something. Great suction, at least. I don't understand. How are you cleaning it? I think it would act the most like a sponge.
Starting point is 00:06:34 You're using it as the applicator to clean off whatever you're... And we're obviously ruling out hands and elbows and stuff on this. I don't think so. So not everyone did fart eliminator when it happened so we did uh it landed on fart eliminator eliminator on friday's episode yep and we were like we're gonna put it off until the whole crew is here so i think that seems fine yeah and i think here's here's the deal because fart eliminator the reason why fart eliminator works is no one knows that it's going to be a fart eliminator right like you show up and you don't know if that's the day you're gonna have to fart
Starting point is 00:07:09 so i think the solution is i had tj make a wheel it's five no farts one fart we'll just spin this every day until we hit it that way no one can plan their farts i just don't think it's right that you can just come on the yak without any risk of farting like the people that were on the show and like yeah that's true they're getting off they'll have to be punished but i think this is the best way to duplicate fart eliminator because otherwise if we just were like oh we're doing it on friday i would just eat a bunch of chili and come in and just rip you're right you're 100 right you it has to be the risk of do you have one has to be there yeah so we'll just spin this wheel. We won't eliminate any slices from this wheel.
Starting point is 00:07:47 We'll just spin this wheel every day till it happens. Is that fair? I like it. I think the chat probably will hate me no matter what. No, that's a good compromise. Not a compromise, but that's a good solution. Because I was thinking about it. If we just say, oh, we're doing Fart Eliminator Friday,
Starting point is 00:07:59 what's the fun in that? We'll all just come locked and loaded. Do you guys have days where you don't fart? No, but there's days when you come in and you're actually loaded. When you have to fart more. I can't tell you the last time a fart of mine made a noise. Mine are all silent. I don't have, I think probably, maybe like junior year of college.
Starting point is 00:08:17 That's some gluten-free shit. That is something. My farts don't, I don't know if my ass, does the ass get looser as you age? You have a loose asshole. I think I do. I think I do. I think I do. It's constantly diluted to about the size of a penny. Does it make a, you look at your asshole like that?
Starting point is 00:08:35 I can just feel. You can feel it. Yeah. All right, so spin it. Everyone's, I just was getting L'd to death. There's no solution. What do they want i don't know they just want us to fart today oh i mean i came loaded you're filled with fart
Starting point is 00:08:54 right now oh yeah i just ate a big sub you know what you know what i've been eating lately that gets you just gets you farting uh dried mangoes and he really you're always on something i can see steven j's head bobbing back there yeah i think we talked about were you on like a crazy dried mango cake were you having like an insane amount at night i was eating about a pound of mango at night yeah we talked about this a couple years ago well the whole appeal of a mango is how juicy and delicious it is no but like but when you get – it's kind of like a remotely healthy, I hope, like fruit by the foot or something like that where it's kind of chewy. Okay.
Starting point is 00:09:32 It's good. They're very good, but they'll make you toot your brains out. That's been me with Halo Tops. I'm on a Halo Top kick right now. Oh, that's a – Just fucking stinking it up. That's the worst thing you've ever said. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:42 What do you mean? You're a – I don't like like you i'm watching my figure halo top is not like you shouldn't that shouldn't exist you can't go into it thinking this is ice cream right i think this is just a frozen tree you put me on the halo top i think it's fine i think it's good for a dieter is it not ice cream no it's garbage i've never had it i think it's pretty good ice cream no ice cream is ice cream is it healthy ice cream yeah the whole pint's like 400 cut 300 thought it was ice cream. Ice cream is ice cream. Is it healthy ice cream? Yeah, the whole pint's like... 400, 300?
Starting point is 00:10:08 Yeah, it might be around 300. Healthy ice cream is just eating a little bit less ice cream. Do you know how many calories are in a Blizzard? A small. Oh, yeah. Is it over 700? Like 600? I think it's over 700.
Starting point is 00:10:18 Holy moly. That's a small. Did you try the animal cracker one? No. You should. You've been on your Blizzard? Nerd's Blizzard was my favorite. No one's. They stopped doing them. No one? No. You should. You've been on your Blizzard show? Nerds Blizzard was my favorite. No one.
Starting point is 00:10:27 They stopped doing them. No one's favorite. So now I have to go get Dairy Queen ice cream and I put in my own. I be why I went. Until Nerds invented the cluster, Nerd was a useless cluster. You're forgetting the ropes. You're forgetting the rope. The ropes were okay.
Starting point is 00:10:41 They're not big enough for you. You like quantity. You like a bag you could keep on the pillow. That's right. Yeah. Speaking of bowels, by the way, Nick, you were gone for a week. The upstairs bathroom was fine. Today, huge shit in the last stall.
Starting point is 00:10:56 Oh, no side button, Nick. Yep. You guys can look at my ass. My ass healed over. I didn't shit when I was in Rome. I'm over shitting. He is right about that. Yes. I woke up, and I felt something at my ass. My ass healed over. I didn't shit when I was in Rome. I have no... I'm over shitting. He is right about that. Yes.
Starting point is 00:11:06 I woke up and I felt something like at my feet. It was the scab of my asshole and it was healed over. I'm good now. I kept it. Did you have to do the hotel lobby shit? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:20 Everyone knows that move. You're staying in a hotel with maybe the opposite sex, and you're like, I have to do something. They're all clean, empty. And you're like, I'm going to go out for a second. Just go shit in the hotel lobby. I'd go work out, but I wouldn't actually work out. I would come back in like 20 minutes, and that was quick.
Starting point is 00:11:37 You're not even sweating. The bathroom of the hotel I was staying in was like a glass cube. Yeah, right. They make it so it's impossible to have to shit in there if you have two people. I was also in a hotel two weekends ago where I was like, this would be a nightmare with a significant other because they were separated.
Starting point is 00:11:55 Sometimes you can pull the whole, I'm going to go shower, and you shower for a good long while. Yeah. But the toilet was in one room. The shower was in another room. Oh. And I was like, well, what the fuck can you'd be screwed here yeah so you're you guys won't even tell a significant other that you're going to shit somewhere else no i guess that's the advantage of being married
Starting point is 00:12:17 you just well no but even still i'll still i don't like it but i won't i still won't shit in the hotel if it's because if you're in a hotel room. Yeah, there are shits that like, oh, if I'm on the road, like when I was in Arizona this week, like I'll take a shit in the morning and I'll come back like five hours later and I'll be like, whoa, it's clearly in here too. Yeah. Like, holy shit, that's bad. And the hotel had the toilet with two buttons.
Starting point is 00:12:42 So the shit flush was louder than the piss flush. Do you fart in the bed? No, I'm not a big farter anyway. But I will... No one on this show is. I will say... Sorry. Got it.
Starting point is 00:12:55 Sorry. I just apologized. You get a blumpkin? Yeah, you say that. Is that what you want? You got a blumpkin? What is that? That's a blowjob while you're taking a poop.
Starting point is 00:13:04 No, no, I don't get blowjobs, but I do take poops. You've gotten a half blumpkin. You're a half blumpkin? What is that? That's a blowjob while you're taking a poop. No, no, I don't get blowjobs, but I do take poofs. You've gotten a half-blumpkin. You're a half-blumpkin? Yeah, you're a half-blumpkin guy. He's done a reverse blumpkin. He's just taking his shit while he's saying turd. Yeah, I got to start saying, like, I average one blumpkin a day. Reverse blumpkin.
Starting point is 00:13:30 Just, yeah, walk in there there so what'd you get us um so brandon's gift is still in the mail because it's bigger for this brandon what's up i haven't seen you in a while hey man he's been good i've been me and kyle playing golf that was the valley of the sun don't zoom in on this box valley of the sun was good spirits good action good food all right nothing gifts from it are gifts for everybody, but Brandon, your gift is bigger, and it's in the mail. What? Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:13:54 What is your issue? Go ahead. That's not from Italy. I didn't say it was. You just said he had gifts. But I did get these. These are from Italy. That's like when I come back from...
Starting point is 00:14:04 When I was in Arizona, I got my kids a gift. It was from the 7-Eleven down the street. This is mine? This is everybody's. So open it up and divvy them out as you see fit. There's actually one in there for me, too. I bought one for myself.
Starting point is 00:14:16 But that was just in a kiosk in Italy. Brandon, why are you stressing, bud? Your gift is bigger and better. Brandon's very strange. What's the deal? It's very strange What are you trying to prove here? What are you talking?
Starting point is 00:14:32 He got us gifts Yours is coming I got these in Italy for you guys Don't be a baby about it Oh Woo Got some FC Milan gear West Point football
Starting point is 00:14:51 yeah I know you guys love them to death you gave money for the rings yes they reached out to me and wanted to send me merch Nick hoodie coming later special order but here are the t-shirts Brad wants to know when everyone will wear so he can watch along with some of the coaches.
Starting point is 00:15:09 Love ya, Mama Vic. Oh, yeah. But no, that's coincidental. I don't know how that got it. I got those from the Vatican. Oh, yeah, this is from Italy. It's green. That's in the flag.
Starting point is 00:15:21 So, yeah, go ahead, guys, and grab whatever. Thank you. Awesome. Yeah. Thank you so much, Nick. Too point what are you a large me yeah i i i feel like i shouldn't i don't deserve one no my god yes i'm in uh i'm in excel i think okay here you go thank you who's gonna love it is will compton yeah well well i was gonna wear this all the time. Can I ask before I put this on just what the back story is? It's West Point High School, just a powerhouse. It's this one school that Nick is a big fan of.
Starting point is 00:15:54 They're like a top five team in Mississippi. All right, I'm starting to get it. It's Brandon's high school. This is your high school brandon why did my mom sent you no no no your gift's in the mail i you your gift is in the mail no no no i got that boy i got your gift in italy on amazon while i was in it nice so it's not from italy uh no i think it's from china china fights don't know you're oh yeah and i love too much point that's that's yeah one of my favorite sayings it's too much point is it what what what am i doing brandon what what's you got a gift and you put it on is this is this not
Starting point is 00:16:41 okay this is i'm i'm pleased to see you wearing that shirt. Is there something I'm not aware of? I'll take it off. I want you to wear it. I want you to wear it. I want you to look good in it. I know I don't want to be shit on for picking on you too much. Not my idea.
Starting point is 00:16:54 I got a call from Mama, and she was like, you know what would be real funny if I sent you Brandon's high school's merch and we don't give him any. Oh. She is a true yakker. Why is she coming up with bits?
Starting point is 00:17:08 You have no... I have multiple packages up in the anus room from her. Oh, you don't? I do. I have another one. I have a couple more. Brandon's mom's in your anus?
Starting point is 00:17:17 Multiple packages. Yeah, she's handling... Yeah. My mom doesn't have... No, okay. Stop. Brandon's mom has multiple packages in Nixon. My mom doesn't have, no, okay. Stop. Brandon's mom has multiple packages in Nixon. My mom doesn't have a penis.
Starting point is 00:17:29 Yeah, but she has fingers, ten of them. A finger's not a package. You forgot other things could go in the ass other than penis. Yeah. Plenty of things you can say. A tongue? Would penis be the number one answer if Steve Harvey said things that go in an ass? Ooh. Ooh. Toilet paper. That doesn't go in an Harvey said things that go in an ass?
Starting point is 00:17:46 Toilet paper. It goes on an ass. That can go in an ass. Toilet paper rarely goes in an ass. I'm pushing. Wait, wait. I think it should. Doctor's thumb.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Yeah. Cameras. Is it the thumb he uses? I always thought it was a point. He uses these two? I don't know. I haven't had these four. I think these four. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:08 Did you check and see if there's a 2X? Nope. There's Miss Peaches. Hey. Miss Peaches. Miss Peaches is a fucking A-list celebrity. Yeah. She knows it. She has a little bit of an attitude.
Starting point is 00:18:22 Being out with Miss Peaches in Arizona, it's crazy. She's actually, it's like the, what is it, SAT, where you're like this to that, that to that. What is that called? Analogy. Yeah. We tried to have her on Mostly Sports, and she was in a meeting. Was she in a meeting?
Starting point is 00:18:40 Yeah. With who? Dave to Nate. Miss Peaches to Dave. Yes. Ms. Peaches is stealing Dave's glitter. Yes. Dave has no glitter with Ms. Peaches around.
Starting point is 00:18:51 Oh, she's outshining him. But I will say this. Does Ms. Peaches need Dave? Like, let's say we get a camera guy. We get a new leash. He goes and walks around the street. I think the voice. Are people like, that's Miss Peaches?
Starting point is 00:19:06 Oh, yes. I think people would know it's Miss Peaches. Yeah. I don't think so. Dude. If she went out with a different person that wasn't Dave. Different person, not the peach-colored leash. You would just think that was a pit bull.
Starting point is 00:19:19 I would think so. So I think Miss Peaches really needs Dave. Danny Hurley was on the precipice of winning a national title, and he and his family asked to see Miss Peaches on Sunday night. He knew it was. Peaches really needs to date. Danny Hurley was on the precipice of winning a national title, and he and his family asked to see Ms. Peaches on Sunday night. He knew it was Ms. Peaches. Okay, but all right. So do you understand that the celebrity of this dog is insane? If that dog were out there in public.
Starting point is 00:19:36 We're not arguing that. The dog has a million Instagram followers. I think people would know it's Ms. Peaches. I don't think they would. I think they would. Oh, you are arguing that. I don't think they would. Without Dave attached would. Oh, you are arguing that. I don't think they would. Without Dave attached to her, if she were attached to somebody else,
Starting point is 00:19:49 a random person in the office. Oh, I disagree. I tend to lead with Brandon. I think there would be some diehards, but I think most people on the street are not stopping for her. There's a lot of dogs that look like her. There was a woman who wrote an entire book. She wrote a book, an actual book, handwritten book.
Starting point is 00:20:04 Because that's Dave's dog. And being like her, it was a resume to be Miss Peach's dog watcher. Because that's Dave's dog. I think environment helps. Like, Big Cat, when you came up to us at the Cubs game, nobody came up to you because there's no way Big Cat would be sitting that far away at a Cubs game. True. Okay, what breed is it?
Starting point is 00:20:22 Pull up other dogs of the same breed. I don't know. She's got a unique look. Point her out. She's a pit bull mix. But she's peach. She does have peach color. Oh, does she?
Starting point is 00:20:32 Yeah. That's a differentiator. Is that how she got her name? Yeah, Ms. Peach is her name. That checks out. Dave's very upset about Mr. Pear. Who's Mr. Pear? It's our turtle we're going to buy.
Starting point is 00:20:45 Is he cute? We've got him. Mr. Pear. Mr. Pear. Oh, he's going to. Tell me, Jack. I hate that. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:54 He's mad about it. We're going to have him do gambling picks on Friday PMTs in the fall. He's going to be big. We just have him do picks while we're talking. So some weeks he might not do a pic. He just doesn't get there. Mr. Pam. Oh no, Mr. Pam.
Starting point is 00:21:11 We actually mocked up just the exact same sweatshirts too. Literally just greens. Are you adopting the turtle? I think so. Memes is, yeah. Are there turtle rescues? I don't know, but I want it very clear that if there are, they're not getting any of the money from the proceeds.
Starting point is 00:21:27 Anything we sell, we keep it. I think any turtle you take in, you're rescuing. Even if you're rescuing it from an aquarium or wherever you're rescuing it. Yeah, because in the wild, they'll only live for like 200 years. Thank God you're putting them in a tank. Yeah, everyone's nervous about it. They're like, this turtle's going to outlive all of you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:45 But this piece is a start. Yeah, everyone's nervous about it. They're like this turtle's going to outlive all of you. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But Miz Peaches is a star. Arizona's good. We were just I don't, Final Four is kind of boring. Really? Well, it's just there's like, it's not like the Super Bowl where there's a bunch of people there to like do podcasts and like do stuff. It's like a bunch of coaches and like Rico Bosco's chasing
Starting point is 00:22:01 them around. Okay. You know what I mean? That was a tough pick from Rico. Oh, Bosco belly. Was that real? Yeah. But was it like exhaling or was there some sort of like, did he just recently drown? I think, yeah. He's got some type of disease.
Starting point is 00:22:17 Yeah. Inflammation. You always hear about those pictures. Look at that. A doctor noticed this picture and saved my life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:24 Yeah. Rico's actually pregnant. oh oh man uh it's kind of cute though that type of round pot belly it fits him yeah yeah it fits his aura we look like with those microphones we look like we were grant cardone yeah yeah you see he's going viral again. No. What's he up to? He's getting blasted for his no interest clip. No interest is still interest. I don't know. He's getting blasted for that. That's a good take. No.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Is that like. No. Is that rapey? No. It's not even that. It just literally makes no sense. Are we talking financial interest? Wait.
Starting point is 00:23:01 What type of interest are we talking? I don't know. Interest in something. See? Oh. Yeah, and the problem is he's explaining it to Jordan Belfort, and Jordan Belfort's like, that's stupid. Like one of the biggest crooks ever.
Starting point is 00:23:14 Oh, yeah. He's like, you make no sense. What point was he trying to make? Here we go. What a pile of crap. I'm coming to San Antonio, man. Give me five minutes. This is before anybody knew who I was, right?
Starting point is 00:23:26 No books, no kind of notoriety. So they're like, no, no, don't come by. But see, that was interest. To me, that's interest. Yeah. No, no, I'm not interested. Not interested is. So not interested to you is interest.
Starting point is 00:23:37 Well, it is. It says not interested. What? Not is an adjective to describe interest. Okay. So it's a level of interest. So if someone says they're not interested. On a scale from zero to ten, what interest level do you have?
Starting point is 00:23:51 None. That is a level. One, two, three, four, five. You with me? A few minutes ago, he didn't know me. He's not with him at all. This chick's really into me. I wouldn't do that.
Starting point is 00:24:03 I disagree with that. But I must say, reasonable minds can differ. That's crazy. I love that clip. That's absurd. Yeah. It's in interest. Yeah, it's the lowest level of interest.
Starting point is 00:24:17 He's just made a world where you can't say no to him. Holy shit, I think I just convinced myself. Yeah, I agree with him. There's nothing you can say no to. Not interested. That's level zero. Will you come to this him. There's nothing you can say no to. Not interested. That's level zero. Will you come to this? No.
Starting point is 00:24:28 Well, you might come to it. That's a level of not coming. It seems like I'm turning it right now. He's right. He's right, yeah. Grant's right. Yeah. Everyone has a level of interest.
Starting point is 00:24:40 You disagree, Brandon? Why are you being so mum? I'm not being mum. I agree. Because you're mama the interest is you gotta get low interest oh boy you really won't
Starting point is 00:24:53 let me see if there's a 2XL oh yeah there is he's upset well don't just leave don't just leave him on the floor that's the thing no I want one is there an XL
Starting point is 00:25:01 it's a 2XL yeah I don't want it. Yeah, you do. Yes, you do. Yeah, you do. Put it on. Put it on.
Starting point is 00:25:08 I can't cover this. Too much point. Brandon must have played for them, right? Okay. Brandon, if they have no point, that's still points. We're the best high school program in the history of Mississippi. Brandon Bottom, they won the state championship, and Brandon Bottom rings. $10,000. No way. I chipped in. That's very generous Brandon Bottom rings. $10,000.
Starting point is 00:25:25 No way. I chipped in. That's very generous of you guys. $12,000, yeah. Very generous of both you guys. I would say it was more generous of me because I have no connection to it. It's certainly more generous of you.
Starting point is 00:25:36 But that was very nice of you, Brandon. Have you seen the rings? No, no. Do you know what's being named after you yet? I don't. I think something in the weight room, which is hilarious. Yeah. The weight room, not the waiting room of like a local facility.
Starting point is 00:25:51 What about a water fountain? Water fountain. I feel like, I got to be honest, I kind of feel like you're getting jobbed a bit there. With the weight room? What do you think I should get? Well, no, if you're getting the full weight room, that's great. I'm not getting the full weight room. So that's kind of, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:26:03 I mean, I feel like 10 grand in Mississippi should get you a weight room. Well, $10,000 in Mississippi is still $10,000. That's a good amount of money. You should get the cafeteria. The dining hall. That would be cool. I think I'd take the cafeteria. Brandon Walker Feeding Center.
Starting point is 00:26:17 I think I would take the high school cafeteria. Wait, so they were, I'm sure there were no real negotiations, but they came to you, they're like, we'll give you the squat rack? No, but back the last time they won it, they asked if I could help a little bit, just a little bit. And this time I was able to help more, and I said, hey, I'd like to help. And I ended up landing at $10,000. That's what they needed from me.
Starting point is 00:26:42 $10,000 for like a rinky-dink high school? No, they actually cost about $35,000 to $40,000 because there's 110 kids on the team. But a donation for anything. That's sizable. Yeah, but it's my high school. I love them. So I took care of it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:00 I'll probably never give a dollar back to my high school. Do they win state championships? No. Okay. There you go. Yeah. Point City. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:27:09 That's sick. I would if there was something named after. You're buying something to be named after you. No. It's a purchase. I'm just doing it. I have no interest. They threw in that they would name something.
Starting point is 00:27:17 Can I get at least a squat rack? We'll get you a squat rack. What do you think you're going to do that gets your name taken off that wall? Oh, a lot of stuff. We could probably find something right now. I haven't got my name on the wall. Don't try to take it off. We definitely need you. You don't have your name on like a brick anywhere?
Starting point is 00:27:34 The only place. Through a minority's window. Regards from BFW. Yeah, my name's on a brick. No, that's fine. Did you go to Peter's Dome? No. What's Peter's Dome? St. Peter's Basilica?
Starting point is 00:28:00 The Vatican. Didn't make it to the Vatican. I spent most of my time in Florence. Yeah, St. Peter's buried there. Petersburg have any linguine any squid ink no no any ravioli I don't know if I did anything cannoli yeah I just I ripped cigs in front of you did go to the Coliseum yeah I didn't
Starting point is 00:28:16 tour it though I just walked there no desire for tours I went there and I went to the Wikipedia of the Coliseum and just walked around. Do you have to have a tour to be able to go in? Yes, but I didn't care.
Starting point is 00:28:32 Those are overrated. The minimum length of the tour was three and a half hours. That's the worst. I've become a big tour guy later in life. I went to Italy this summer. I toured the Vatican. I toured the Colosseum.
Starting point is 00:28:46 Pantheon? Didn't do the Pantheon. Okay, I did. I just went and saw it, though. Wait, no, I saw the Pantheon. I just didn't tour it. Is that a real place? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:54 Yeah, it's right next to a great gelato shop. Did you take my gelato advice? The second you did, yes. I mixed two competing flavors. I got kiwi and a chocolate. Yes. And it was, yeah. You probably got a Malfi lemon and took pucker breaks.
Starting point is 00:29:15 Yeah, I had to go hold my puckers. I had to go to the bathroom and pucker. When I went to the Coliseum, I learned my favorite fun fact that I was trying to set myself up for earlier. The arena. Everyone knows what an arena is. That is what the sand at the Coliseum was called. That was the kind of sand. That is a fun fact.
Starting point is 00:29:39 Arena sand. And that's how we got all arenas. I just looked at it. And that was enough. Because then when I learn about it now, it's like, okay, i've seen it like that's just seeing it for me that's all yeah they also they used to do they had poop sponges that's oh that is fun yeah in the in the public bathrooms they just had a sponge and they just fucking wipe your ass our community sponge yeah you wipe your ass some people if you if you had money you bring your own sponge in
Starting point is 00:30:02 but uh a lot of people just have to share sponges. Here's the boy. Will. Willie. How we doing? Good. What's up? Sit down.
Starting point is 00:30:11 Take a seat. How's everything? Good, man. Would you ever donate? Have you donated to your high school's football team? No, not really. Yeah. Not really, no. Brandon did.
Starting point is 00:30:24 10K. Yeah. $10,000? That's really cheap out of no. Brandon did. $10,000. Yeah. $10,000? That's really cheap out of you. You should donate to your house. I've done something before, but it wasn't nothing big. And this was a long time ago. You don't want to take care of the next generation.
Starting point is 00:30:34 But also, you were asked, right? You didn't just give it up. No, I volunteered. I do want to take care of it. But he said at the beginning of the season, if they win the state championship, I will buy the ring. Okay. It was a Scott's Tots situation.
Starting point is 00:30:48 Well, that's actually, with the mini golf going on right now we also we had tate had volunteered if he wins the mini golf he's gonna buy pizza for his elementary school that was very nice that was nice of him yeah so you're 10 000 contingent on winning the state title they already won it and I've already paid it. Nice. What should he get named after him? For 10K. 10K donation to ranks. The basketball gym.
Starting point is 00:31:12 The whole gym? Wow. He's getting a part of the weight room. I don't think I can get the whole gym. A part of the weight room? Like the dumbbell section? He's getting a mat. I'm going to ask. I'm going to ask what's getting named after him.
Starting point is 00:31:24 He's getting the yoga mat. He gave $2,000. To your high school? No, to my high school. Oh, to his? Yeah. Yo, you've got to – I've got to get something cool, right?
Starting point is 00:31:33 One squat rack for Brandon Walker, and then you get the entire, like, dumbbell rack. Why does he get the whole dumbbell? We've got a good weight room. Oh, that's a good weight room. Wow. You should get a – What else could WP stand for? Big Cat.
Starting point is 00:31:44 Actually, you know what? Can I do this? Can we throw this out there? What if I got – what if I bought a TV and we put it in the corner and it was just always on the yak? Oh, get our numbers up. One more. That's why he's the best.
Starting point is 00:31:59 That's why he's the best. That's why he's the best. I was about to say something way worse. I was going to say, Big Cat, you should just get two 45-pound plates just named. Oh, that's cool. Our school isn't really Yak fans. Yeah, but we will make them Yak fans. I doubt it.
Starting point is 00:32:14 Literally, no one can tell. We'll put the TV behind that glass that the Mona Lisa is behind so no one can ever change the channel. Yeah. It's just the Yak. It's the expensive glass. All right. Whatever y'all want to do i'm gonna see i'm asking what they're gonna name after me is that what you just texted just
Starting point is 00:32:30 blatantly that yeah what are you gonna name after me who'd you send that to the athletic director the ad uh-huh there you go it's got to be something between a squat rack and the entire gym i mean the gym. Cafeteria sounded good. That sounds awesome. The Brandon Walker cafeteria. I think the cafeteria is bigger than the gym. I think that's going to... The cafeteria gets more eyeballs.
Starting point is 00:32:53 No, but like... More conversation at the table. Oh, the auditorium is the best. There's more visitors to the gym. That's when people start calling it the Brando, you know? Oh, yeah. What about where all the smokers like the smokers alley i don't think goth i don't think they have those and we don't really have goth kids either the
Starting point is 00:33:10 brown walker that gets bullied out of them pretty early but the studio what studio do you guys have a studio almost certainly not um like a do like the we have a Yeah. The Brandon Walker ISS room. Yeah. ISS sucks. Oh, what about like a detention room? Right. Yeah. That's not. I don't think that's just a room.
Starting point is 00:33:31 ISS is what that's in. What about the teacher's lounge? Oh, yeah. You are a teacher. I don't want to sponsor the teachers. I want this to be students. What about a computer lab? Nah.
Starting point is 00:33:42 Bunsen burner. The Brandon Walker restroom. I don't want a bathroom i would take a toilet yeah would i get all of them there's a plaque on the toilet no it's gotta be it's gotta be your your face is painted on yeah just looking at the kid taking a shit yeah the blumpkin it'll be the blumpkin big cat blumpkin what yeah there'll be a flashlight that someone... Now we're... We're getting into deep water here.
Starting point is 00:34:08 Got their high schoolers. The seniors. A, the seniors. It's the seniors only flashlight. Adult swim at the pool. They pass it down everywhere. It's got a fucking chain to the wall I have a fake ID so I can fuck it
Starting point is 00:34:28 What? Willie, how you doing? Good, man Seven under right now Yeah, so we should talk about it We can talk about it Hopefully everyone's been watching I think they're about to announce the tee times
Starting point is 00:34:43 For the second round. Brandon, you got screwed this morning. Yeah, I got real screwed. Did you get narked on? Tate snitched on me. I got here at 6, and I went out there, and I was just hitting multiple balls on a hole, and he tweeted out that I was doing it, and Hank docked me two strokes, even though that's what a practice round is.
Starting point is 00:35:02 Well, no, you can't. Yeah, you can't. You can't hit multiple. That's what a practice round is. Well, no, you can't. Yeah, you can. You can't hit multiple. That's what a practice round is. No, I did a practice round. I played every hole once. Well, you didn't do a practice round. You just did a round.
Starting point is 00:35:11 I almost tried. Like, I knocked one off in my practice round, so I was about to put one down and do it again, and Hank's just yelling from the rafters, you better not hit that. Whoa. That's really stupid. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:35:20 If we're doing a practice round, let's do a practice round. Either way, it's been awesome. Yeah. It's been a fun time. Either way, it's been awesome. Yeah. It's been a fun time. Yeah, I'm going to miss the cut by a stroke. Yeah, that sucks because – Are you? That's where you at.
Starting point is 00:35:29 I fought back to even par. We're all having so much fun playing mini-golfs. I'm in the mist. I'm right around the cut line. Yeah. I think I'm like five under maybe, six under, something like that. Where are you right there? I'm three under.
Starting point is 00:35:40 Okay. You're on the cut line. Yeah. You'll need a big round. But it's a cumulative so yeah i'm out of the money i don't know brandon do you feel like you got robbed because all of us had an equal chance to win this money and now you didn't i just think hank who made the decision six hank made the decision that i got docked two strokes and hank is in the competition i don't
Starting point is 00:35:59 know that he should have that um like he's gonna be around the cut line what if i don't what if i don't make the cut because i don't know that's a fair gripe he is in the competition how is he docking me two strokes for and i'm not the only person that took multiple shots on on holes out there everybody did i shot a six on the dude wipes hole oh no meld down sydney what cut mean i don't know there was an error the computer just like doesn't work her name, and none of her graphics work nothing. What? Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:30 So what did she shoot? Beats me. I wasn't paying attention. Yeah, how's it been from the booth? It's been fun. It's been some good moments. Frank. It's the only thing more fun than playing mini golf for work is talking about it.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Yeah. And with no chance to win money. No pressure. Really a perfect day. A few rough pressure. Dave, Whitney's shooting a 15 is crazy. He's so good. Especially with how much he complained about Jerry, too.
Starting point is 00:36:57 He was trying to get you two out of there. He was claiming he wasn't going to play. They're not your boys. It's crazy. Does Pete live out here? No. I feel like every time he's here. Do you not see him in New York?
Starting point is 00:37:08 Yeah. I guess now that I'm thinking about it, I sure do. Pete had a real bad look in Arizona. He was like a white polo tucked in, looked like a cop with the cop glasses. Just disgusting. It always shocks me. Pete, in my head, is probably the oldest person in this company. Yeah, and I think I'm –
Starting point is 00:37:29 You're the same age. I think we're the same. I think he's one year older than me. That's it? I actually thought he was one year younger than you. He might be. That might be it. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:37:40 He might be the same age. How old are you, Dan? No, I take that as a good compliment because you seem younger. A lot more vivacious than he is. Yeah, he's a loser. Yeah, he seems dead inside. He was never vivacious. No, he had that one picture of him in the boat that he like.
Starting point is 00:37:56 I think it's his profile pic. Yeah. The one time he had fun. That's what he did. Go to his profile pic. It's the only time he's ever had fun. The most misleading thing ever. it's like seeing so it's like seeing someone on like hinge and then they're like 500 pounds i think he only did that event for a profile picture yeah thank god i got that out of the way that
Starting point is 00:38:15 fun ever had fun except for that moment look at that's the most misleading thing in the world i love that he has cartoon bangs, just three hairs. He looks like fun guy number three in a movie. Yeah. Look at these shades. That is the opposite. That is so misleading. Holy shit.
Starting point is 00:38:38 I'm Jack Siocca. You look at that and you're like, I'm excited to work for that guy. What is him? I'm Jack Siocca. I got to get him in here. Oh, his bio. Ben and Boren? Ben and Boren. I got to get him in here. Oh, his bio. Ben Important? Ben Important.
Starting point is 00:38:47 Never been accused of caring too much. What the fuck kind of bio? Six time million dollar. That's a crazy bio. Oh my God. I'm Jax Yoko. Ben Important. What is his online persona?
Starting point is 00:38:59 Six time million dollar pay-per-view. Ben Important. Jax Yoko? Hey, come into the act real quick. Because we have questions. Are you taking a shit? Why? Are you taking a shit?
Starting point is 00:39:12 That was a bathroom stall echo. Why? Are you taking a shit? All right, come into the act. No. No, I'm not shitting. Come under the act. Why?
Starting point is 00:39:25 He's probably getting a blumpkin. I bet you he loves them. Imagine if Pete could only shit with a flashlight. You can only shit when you're hard. Yeah, this one's also misleading. That's not him. No. I can't imagine having fun.
Starting point is 00:39:44 His Twitter header photo matches his personality. What's that one? The top, the banner photo matches his personality perfectly. So we just need to get his profile picture to look more like that. We need to get him to change his profile picture to that shade of gray. Get in here, Pete. Pete would get a Blumpkin for time efficiency purposes, not for enjoying it. No.
Starting point is 00:40:10 Let's bang this out. Just the analytics of it. That's how you have to sell a Blumpkin. It's practical. Hey, isn't that a guy? I think that's what you should do. Pete, sit right there. Like a profile photo and a banner for every personality.
Starting point is 00:40:23 Oh, that's a good idea. That represents who they are. That's a real good idea. He walks so slow. Hey, Pete. Hey, Pete. Hey, Pete. Pete, how old are you?
Starting point is 00:40:37 40. Okay, good. So he is a year older than me. Just a year older, yeah. There's never been a more misleading profile picture than your profile picture what are you talking about that's not you that's a fun guy you are you look like an awesome guy there you're not awesome no i am no you aren't i am no you aren't that guy now your cause playing yeah who is that that's. You used to have fun? Yeah, big time.
Starting point is 00:41:06 When was the last time you had fun? That was it. Yeah. We thought so. June 28, 2004. Yeah. That was the last time you had fun. We're coming up on the 20-year anniversary.
Starting point is 00:41:22 We should do something. 20 years. That's what I thought of 20 years Did you have a feeling that would be the last time? I didn't know at the time The last time your friends hung out And you didn't know it That was it We'll do this again
Starting point is 00:41:39 20 years The rest of your profile makes no sense. What do you mean? The bio. I'm Jack's Yoko. Yeah, that's an inside joke. Is that Jill? Wait, sorry.
Starting point is 00:41:49 Who are you? You're like first things first. Inside joke. It's not an inside joke, I guess. It's just a, it's like nobody's heard of it. That's an inside joke. No, it's from 30 Rock, but nobody. Oh, wait, no, I'm a big 30 Rock fan.
Starting point is 00:42:04 I was going to say fights. You remember Liz Lemon said that? No, Emily Mortimer was Jack's girlfriend early in the season. Yes. And she's like, I still think it's funny, but she's like, you know how John Lennon didn't know he was better than all the rest of the Beatles until he met Yoko Ono? She's like, well, I'm Jack's Yoko. And then Liz is like, you think that's a good thing, basically? Like being Jax Yoko.
Starting point is 00:42:25 All right. I've done a complete 180. Hold on. Pete, I have a very big piece of news I need to share with you. Okay. June 28, 2004. June 28, 2024. I just looked.
Starting point is 00:42:40 It is Third Eye Blind Day. We're all going to Third Eye Blind concert that day. That's fun for you guys. Will you come? No. Come on come on p that well first that's probably not the date that was a that was a reasonable approximation of what you said come on uh i'm not gonna commit to that right now it's in chicago i assume yeah yeah do you think you're capable of having fun again i am yeah i think so i think i've seen him if i really remember the one time we went bowling in minneapolis yeah that was had a couple beers remember that one time we did one it was like six years ago final four
Starting point is 00:43:15 weekend yeah it was a couple years bowling he had like maybe three beers wasn't that much fun saw him laugh once that much fun he laughed yeah yeah What's a date you're looking forward to the most this year? I just, I look forward to the 4th of July. Hey, what's your, what, what was, what's your date that you're looking forward to? I'm just, I have fun every day. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I look forward to the 4th of July.
Starting point is 00:43:37 I think I could. I think we could have fun. We have had fun. What would it take? What would it take for you to have fun? Look at that that's no fun yeah well both sides of that is no fun jay makes me take a picture before we do all kinds of stuff and finally i was like what do you do with all this stuff all these pictures of us
Starting point is 00:43:55 and he's like i just save them in my camera roll i have like a dozen pictures weird get them out let's make a yeah let's see let's see them well no you You put one on your Instagram where you made it real blue because it was too dark. You did. Yes. Yeah, I have a bunch. They're on the folder. We've taken many pictures together.
Starting point is 00:44:13 It's like Stu Feiner. Stu loves to just tweet out pictures from like seven years ago. Brandon, I have a missed FaceTime call from your mom. No, let's not do this. We already did that. We already did the mom content. I bet she likes that. My mom and sister need to chill the fuck out.
Starting point is 00:44:26 It's too much. They love it. Yeah, that one. That's the strangest. I'm glad that made the cut. You have 12 and you picked. That was eight weeks ago. I love the caption.
Starting point is 00:44:38 That was stupid. I love my job. You look like you're about to die. It looks like a sleep paralysis demon. Yeah, it looks like you're on hospice. This's what I look like now. He looks like a sleep paralysis demon. Yeah, he looks like you're on hospice. This is like if Frankenstein had a selfie cam. Because I got Chase following me around asking for selfies all the time. Whenever I see Pete, I have to get a picture with him.
Starting point is 00:44:56 It's like when Barry Bonds accidentally killed Willie Mays. Remember that picture? No. I took a picture with Willie Mays with his eyes closed and was like, I can't remember the caption, but it looked like he was in a coffin. And Willie Mays is old. Is he dead? I think he's still going.
Starting point is 00:45:13 He's one of the ones. There is no way. Hank Aaron died. I think Willie Mays is still going. I think Mays died, if I remember correctly. He's got to be dead. He's got to be. I think he's going. All right, I'm going with alive with Brandon.
Starting point is 00:45:23 I think he's got to be dead. I'm going dead. I think he's alive as well. I think he's got to be dead. I'm going dead. I think he's alive as well. There it is. Yeah, look. He put that picture out there. That's a dead guy.
Starting point is 00:45:35 And you're the dead guy in a coffin? No. I remember when it happened. It was one of the funniest fucking things. Oh, my God. And Barry just looks great. Everyone was just like, wait, did Willie make his eye? He's alive. He's alive.
Starting point is 00:45:46 Wow. No way. You're telling me that guy in the bed is currently alive. What year is this from? Yes, I sleep next to him. Okay. We didn't ask. But that's a dead person.
Starting point is 00:46:00 Right. They may not have reported his death, but there's no way that guy's alive. All right. Is that all? Well, I want you to say you're going to come to Third Eye Blind. In Chicago on June 28th? You come to Chicago all the time. I cannot believe I randomly made up a date that you guys are going to a fucking concert.
Starting point is 00:46:17 Yeah. Oh, yeah. I forgot you don't live here. What if we offered to drug you? Ooh. You won't know. What kind of drugs are we talking about? You don't know.
Starting point is 00:46:28 We'll actually spin the wheel without you knowing. Of to pick the drug? Yeah. It'd be acid, ecstasy, weed, ketamine, crocodile. Yeah. Can I can sum this up? Crocodile was that Russian, there was gasoline and vodka. It's like turning people into zombies, like zombies right yeah they would and then like
Starting point is 00:46:47 their fingers fall off yeah that was good stuff yeah i'm getting my hands on some uh sloppy flow yeah you guys get into that what's that you guys don't know no oh never mind oh no you you you're trying to play cool this dude's been important just made up a job oh yeah what are you talking about he's i can't tell if you made up a drug or this is like a Michael Scott thing and someone told him a fake drug and you're like floppy fingers. No, if you guys don't know, you don't want to get into it. The fuck is floppy? He's Michael Scotting us. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:47:14 Oh, look. How do we have that? We have it. What the fuck? Why don't we already have it? Yeah, all right. Let's spin it. Let's all do it.
Starting point is 00:47:21 Rohypnol is an option. Nice. I wouldn't mind just getting a meth font. Meth? Fuck yeah. I know a guy. Meth? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:30 He's dead. You done meth? You'll love meth. I think I would. Yeah, meth's a font. Yeah. What is floppy flow? I hear it's like the best.
Starting point is 00:47:39 Don't worry about it. 20 hours. Don't you, like people love to beat off on you. I go to the subreddit all the time. They beat off to the dick as well. The whole fucking night being off. Yeah. No, but it's like ultimate pleasure.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Yeah. Sign me up. Yeah. What's floppy? We all sit here. It's a hat? We all sit here. Flo floppy is a hat.
Starting point is 00:48:05 It's not a drug. That's how you... You actedoppy is a hat. It's not a drug. That's how you... You acted like it was a drug. That's how you meet the people. You tip your hat. You put your Floppy Flo hat on. What year is this? And you just...
Starting point is 00:48:14 Where's your Floppy Flo hat? You don't... I don't wear it to work. I said, where is it? Where is this? The hotel room. You keep it. It's at your hotel.
Starting point is 00:48:22 You got to travel with it if you want to get on the road. You brought it? Yeah. How are you going to get Floppy Flo if you don't wear it? It's at your hotel. You got to travel with it if you want to get on the road. You brought it? Yeah. How are you going to get floppy flow if you don't wear it? That's a good point. Is it like a Jeep wave? Like you both? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:31 Basically, that's what it is. So you go out and it's just like, oh, I got you. But you're at somebody else in the hat? Yeah. You got to find somebody else in the hat. What is the hat named? It's the floppy flow hat. And you're also acquiring floppy flow?
Starting point is 00:48:43 And you use it to signal yet But you have to be in the club. Yeah, I got in the club. Yeah When's the last time you've used it? pass oh Wait, can we see what this looks like? And how do you know if like somebody's selling or somebody's needing is it do you tilt your app or it's a little like a cigarette Right. This is just like you walk around you got some cigarettes for you. You got something's a cigarette you give him a cigarette. It's just like a fun community floppy flow right floppy float That's a fun community. Yeah
Starting point is 00:49:12 It's just a Yankees flat That's a man on floppy floor right Wapped out boy flopped out boy flopped he's making me side with pete these things right yeah oh was that this morning no that's the old office the duality of me oh that is the old ones yeah all right how do you think it's going pete i the yak or mini golf mini golf i think it's going pretty well a lot of people i think once we get down to 16 and and you get a people like really
Starting point is 00:49:54 fighting for it i think it'll be good yeah yeah how'd you do i'm minus 10 how are you good at everything yeah i'm not i i know that i i we've done mini golf three times every single time the first round i've been in the top five and then i just blow it slowly dip from there really yeah so i i'm not surprised by i would imagine i will not be after i'll make the cut but i won't be doing in contention after that i think you never know i just i'm mental i'm a mental pussy i i'll miss one that's just will spiral me you know like the like next play yeah i'm not a next play guy i'm the last play guy just thinking about the last play like even today i hit one hole in one immediately after double bogey it's like that's just yeah it takes someone but still
Starting point is 00:50:43 you started off i mean you were finished minus you started off fast too like you were you were like minus minus five in the first view yeah whitney's really good yeah yeah he's been playing out of his mind so who do you think's gonna win whitney you think so yeah all the guy does is golf kirk though oh yeah what about kirk isn't he the favorite kirk he's gotta play with frank he's got like he's trying to keep composure while frank's keeping the same groups yeah you keep the same groups in the cut yeah then you switch it yeah so he may because it's cumulative so he may be wouldn't he may just be after two rounds being yeah but he had a couple whole ones that he's not gonna be able to do that's true yeah and he got a he got a clean course so he'll get out there after now everybody's been yeah it does kind of fuck it up yeah
Starting point is 00:51:28 this will be a little harder i hit a couple of the the ridges the ridges our group was me kyle mook and uh mince and mince got up on a hole he said he said he hopes he hits a hole in one to go viral yeah he's like a real camera what is he is he talking about? He's gone viral a lot. He goes, time to have a moment. Time to go viral. It was the last hole and he was plus three. He also said that we should do on the party hole, the high noon party hole, he said we should do it like TPC in Arizona, the Waste Manatees. Yeah, he said put the people up there.
Starting point is 00:52:02 Put the people up there. It'll go viral. And he also had the Quigs when. Put the people up there. It'll go viral. Dude, when we were – And he also had the Quigs. When NC State clinched the Final Four, he's like, have Quigs cut down one of the nets. It will go viral. Can we tweet?
Starting point is 00:52:12 What is up with him? No, he only says literally viral. Like, that's what he tweets, right? The first time I heard him say it, we were with Sidney Wells. We were in Louisiana. We were fishing. And just, like, quiet on the boat. Mincy hadn't said anything the whole day, really We were fishing and just like quiet on the boat.
Starting point is 00:52:27 Mincy hadn't said anything the whole day. Really. He was just kind of hiding in the corner and we finally like anchored and he just stands up and goes, y'all want me to do a viral cannonball? Viral. I was like, what? He also had the,
Starting point is 00:52:40 when Billy did his Fox news hit and he, uh, he was like, we're living in a, Mincy was like, we're living in a simulation. It's like, Mincy, your life is way crazier than Billy's. He's just running for fucking literally viral. Literally viral. Not metaphorically.
Starting point is 00:52:59 It's literally viral. Also, his mic today was inside of his ass. It was. Just the furthest thing down. Did George Santos endorse Billy? I can't find the tweet, people. If he did it on Twitter, I can't find it. I'm looking.
Starting point is 00:53:15 You guys saw the Jim Toes. Toes is up to something, I heard. Well, and also, Billy's running on Common Sense. Jim Toes is running on Hardcore Common Sense. Oh. We got a big problem. Oh, yep. We got a big problem. One-nothing. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:53:26 We got a big problem. Show planning. If you reach back out to me, we can get him on. Do we want Jim Toews on? Do we want him on? Yes. Yeah, let me ask PFT just so I don't want to step on their stuff. Step on.
Starting point is 00:53:37 You don't want to step on Toews. I've heard a lot about in Billy's campaign about how tough the GOP is on Long Island, how they'll never let him run really and all that stuff and if that's the case how did George Santos happen? Good question
Starting point is 00:53:58 I also think Billy is like, it's the opposite Billy is, what's the Manchurian candidate? Nick? Don't know Billy to me is the perfect like some big like secretive republican group is gonna like swoop it and be like he's our next guy yeah like we can control him and they could probably like train him to have like a word they say when he would he would assassinate right leader he can he can be controlled and bought the best candidates billy has not this pandering oh so he did endorse him yeah wow that's crazy that's big santos mike lapetri i didn't notice until like when billy was all
Starting point is 00:54:42 clean shaven and in his suit and tie and all that stuff, how much he looks like kind of a Pixar villain. Yeah. We were breaking it down the other day, and he's got kind of like, it's not a strong jaw. It's just a big jaw. It's a big jaw. It's just a lot of face. It's got a lot of face. It's a lower face, yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:03 It's not like angular and chiseled or anything like that. It's just like it's beefy, and he's got a lot of face. He's got a lot of face. He's got a lower face, yeah. It's not like angular and chiseled or anything like that. It's just like it's beefy, and he's got a little mouth, and you're like, he is. You're right. You're damn right. He looks like a Pixar villain. His mouth is too small. Tiny mouth.
Starting point is 00:55:16 Oh, it's wee. I've always said Clemmer looks like a Pixar character that would see the toys from Toy Story moving, and he would be taking out the trash, and then the bag would rip from the bottom. Yeah. He defies logic. Look at those arms.
Starting point is 00:55:35 They're the size of the club. It's crazy. It looks like his club attached to it. I just noticed. I don't think you understand what the club is. Oh! Wait, you didn't? I didn't think you understand what the club is. Oh! Wait, you didn't? I didn't notice that.
Starting point is 00:55:50 Clever is so shocking, you don't notice. I didn't notice it either for a while. You're fooling yourself. What's he trying to do with those shoes? Oh, don't. Those are Green Bay Packers shoes. He's trying to copy people. Seattle Supersonics.
Starting point is 00:56:04 Oakland A's, 1984. Who's he trying to copy people. Seattle Supersonics. Oh. It was 1984. Who's he trying to copy, Brandon? Just trying to, you know, these guys around here, man. They see people with nice shoes, nice cars. They just fucking copy them. Who copied the car? Hmm? Your car got copied?
Starting point is 00:56:17 Did you get one of these shirts? Yeah. Good. Big Cat. Brandon copied Big Cat's car. And shoes. They go, that's a nice car car and then he was driving it like you told me to get one you said maybe like the model the model everything same color word for word same same bar for bar same car same color brandon not same color oh okay oh okay all right yeah mine's Yeah. My wife loves it.
Starting point is 00:56:46 She's happy. Wait, did Mama call you back? I thought we weren't going to do that. We're not going to do it. She sent me a text. Oh, what'd she say? The sister and mom content. We've had enough of that.
Starting point is 00:56:55 I got my sister a job. Is your mom angling for a job? No, I'm on her car. You got your mom a car? Would your mom want to be my assistant? Who? Your mom? No.
Starting point is 00:57:07 Why? No. She can't move up here because of all her dogs. $200,000 a year. Whoa. She can't. No. She's too old to be yours.
Starting point is 00:57:17 How many dogs does she have? She has currently five, I believe. Wow. Five. That's not a crazy number. One just died. She had six. One of them's yours.
Starting point is 00:57:24 That's crazy. That's crazy. No, it's hers. That dog's not. Five number She had six One of them was yours No it's hers I think If I walked into a house I think fights And it was six Look it's not as many I wouldn't ever want that many dogs We always had between four and ten
Starting point is 00:57:40 You've had ten dogs? Ten's insane Five's still crazy Five's insane, but 5's still crazy. 5's crazy. Billy Wayne and Peanut. Anything over 3. 10's a shelter. Oh, yeah, we were.
Starting point is 00:57:55 That's a full-on shelter. Were they all outside? 3's where you give the comment, like, how many dogs do you have? The cats were inside, a couple dogs were inside. And 3 you can have if you have, like, one little one, one big one. Brandon, were you just in the pound? No, we lived. My mama loves dogs.
Starting point is 00:58:08 And now Tommy's allergic. I can't really do it at my house. But yeah, we had a lot of dogs. A lot of basset hounds. I had a buddy when I was a kid who had like, I don't even know the number, but like 12 dogs. And four cats and a rooster. And they all hung out together. It was awesome.
Starting point is 00:58:26 Wait, so when your dog got hit by the bus that you were on uh-huh how many more did you have at that time we were really poor um we i think that means more dogs we had we had three to three or four more okay we had katie zeke and yeah we had three more on. But he was our favorite dog at the time when Bo got killed by the bus when I was in fourth grade. You killed it? He was on the bus. I was on the bus. I was sitting in the third row.
Starting point is 00:58:51 Oh, God. And the driver drove over it. You were sitting on the third row? That's when it's back. Brandon told us this a few months ago. We're like, everything kind of makes sense. Very traumatic. It is a funny thing here, like talking to people long enough,
Starting point is 00:59:02 and then after you know them for years, they tell a story, you're like there it is yeah that's what okay everything makes sense so it wasn't it wasn't the the dad in jail or the drugs it was the dog yeah and your mama whooped him though she she went and handled that business really or whooped her yeah because the the bus driver said whose dog was that and i raised my hand oh no like still on the bus i raised my hand slowly and she said well that's too bad oh and my mama got home and said get in the fucking car and we went and found that bitch no way did she stop actually the family is a wonderful family uh but but um do you remember like the sound of what feeling i remember the feeling yeah you remember i remember him oh i remember him he was walking away from the bus and i remember him turning oh and then uh she just rolled right
Starting point is 00:59:58 over him she didn't attempt to slow down or like casey anthony's a monster? Did it make you think about how Casey Anthony's a monster? Do you understand that I was in fourth grade and Casey Anthony was? It's a Blake Griffin tweet. Oh, I'm sorry. He ran over a squirrel. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Casey Anthony's hot.
Starting point is 01:00:18 Could you hunt? No. I tried. The only time I killed one animal, my uncle Doug took me out with a.22 rifle shooting snakes and I shot a snake and I hated the feeling so I never shot another animal
Starting point is 01:00:30 do you kill the fish you catch? I don't kill spiders really? really? I won't kill any animal I won't kill a fly I'll kill a mosquito if it's on me
Starting point is 01:00:38 that's it wait what's the difference between a fly and a mosquito? fly is not going to bite you mosquitoes hell when they're flying you know every time a fly lands it it throws up i thought i thought i heard yeah i thought it's fact that's fact disgusting look it up google i thought it's shit that's not true i learned that in insectology
Starting point is 01:00:57 every time it lands every time it lands that's just not what does that mean look it up hey where do you think when where did you take insectology? Nebraska. That's such a fucking joke. I don't even think that's what it's called. I bet Nebraska has some good insectology. What was your major? They can't take a bite out of our food
Starting point is 01:01:16 so they have to spit some enzyme which dissolves the food along the... Puke. So maybe not every time they land. No. They have to puke to eat. So it's not every time No so that No Will took a class It's when they land on food They have to puke to eat They have to puke to eat So it's not every time they land Yeah
Starting point is 01:01:28 So the majority No that's not When they land on food They're gonna eat What's that say I'm on the side I can't You can It's now that I'm hearing
Starting point is 01:01:36 It's ringing bells Where like they Thank you But it's not on your When they land When they wanna eat They basically have to like Start dissolving the food
Starting point is 01:01:44 So they can suck it up. And that vomit is like an acid that will melt it a bit. Half credit? Half credit. Because you're right, it's not every time then. But you've got to think, if they're landing on you thinking that they might eat, they're a little enzyme coming out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:59 We're landing on your cock. Did you guys have the Skeeter on my Peter song you sang at campfires when you were younger? Oh, I think we've talked about that. There's a Skeeter on my Peter flick it off? Yeah. I thought that was a normal song. And we were like, that's weird. Did you have that, Brandon?
Starting point is 01:02:17 We didn't have a Skeeter on my Peter song. Did I have a tick? That's the second verse. For whatever reason, and this is going to sound... I had a tick. Yeah, that's the second verse. For whatever reason, and this is going to sound... I had a tick on my dick. This isn't an all-the-time thing, but for whatever reason, I got out of the shower and I was stretching naked. And I was stretching my hamstrings and I had seen below my piece that I had a tick.
Starting point is 01:02:41 Dude, I had that when we... When was this? It must have been covering the whole thing. How old were you this was two three years ago that's horrifying how far below the piece like right below the head did you get it oh you had to pull it off dude it's scary i had and then you learn about lyme disease after you're like damn if you tear it off too fast dude yeah the head will get stuck. Two summers ago, we were on vacation, and I took my son out of the bath, and I saw one little thing under his armpit, and it was a tick, and I took it off, and then I started
Starting point is 01:03:14 looking. He had like 10 of them on him. Jesus. What? It's crazy. Can't you do a match, blow it out, and then press the match to it? Does that? Yeah, there's some sort of burning.
Starting point is 01:03:29 They're not bad until they have the bullseye then then then you're fucked yeah so it's like if you see a bullseye that means they've in like gone into your skin ticks are fucked up ticks are fucked up and then people are like oh what they need them for the deer population fuck shut up they're only there to like like, fuck us up. Yeah. Fucking bugs. Brandon, how was WrestleMania? It was amazing. It was an amazing experience. We sat in the 2K suite, and that 10-minute run at the end of the main event where it was John Cena came out, and then Seth Rollins' Shield music came out,
Starting point is 01:04:02 and then Undertaker came out. It was the rock came out. It was phenomenal. For a second, did you think Dean Ambrose was coming out? I did. Everybody did. It was 10 minutes of my entire 40 years of wrestling fandom. It was phenomenal.
Starting point is 01:04:13 Oh, wow. Is it the best WrestleMania? I think it's the best one in a very long time, and it is in the conversation for the best ever. The first night was too cold, and it wasn't quite as good, so going into the second night, they needed to save it, and it was one of the best nights in the history of wrestling. He completed the story arc.
Starting point is 01:04:27 He completed the story. I think viewership's up like 41%. They set records. It was the biggest WrestleMania of all time. We stayed down there right in the mix. We were right across from WWE World, and all the wrestlers were in the hotel across from us. And it felt like millions
Starting point is 01:04:45 of people all the time it was great it was an awesome experience i'm happy for you thank you were you kind of hoping stone cold would be in there and we were all hoping stone cold was there and it was ended up being the undertaker which is a good which yeah i mean it's a good second yeah we have talked about this before i guess i talk about three things. Yeah. We talked about it in September. Former NFL draft prospects. Dan, you don't have a Wikipedia? No, I guess not. That's crazy.
Starting point is 01:05:12 What is that next to Cates now? Concentration camp Cates. Oh. Oh. Oh, God. What the fuck? Concentration camp Cates? I have one follow-up question, Brandon.
Starting point is 01:05:24 Did you talk to titus at all about the fact that there's rumors going around that the mostly sports crew is just not built for it in general i've heard those what makes you say that we went out to wings on friday night yeah and titus was like dominated the wings feel good and then he was sick for two days straight couldn't do the live show with us well wings took him down what people get sick it happens that doesn't mean you're not built for this shit we're all we're both mostly sports is built for this i don't know man a wing date with the boys what's the last time tj missed anything down for the next 48 dude next 48 but tj's yak that he's built for because he's family too. Yeah, but built him up. I'm on the yak.
Starting point is 01:06:05 Ty's is on the yak. Good point. Fuck. Yeah, he couldn't do. He was on our live show. How many wings did he eat? He killed Mark. People are asking is Mostly Sports not built for this.
Starting point is 01:06:20 You asked that. Other people were asking. Was it like a tummy thing? Yeah, he said he shit like 12 times on Saturday. We did our live show. He was on it for like five minutes, then he just left. He walked off camera and was throwing up within 10 seconds. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:33 Wow. He said he was throwing up. He said he was on the floor in the bar at Scottsdale shitting and throwing up. He was bragging about the wings. He was like, I did it. I had the wings. He almost puked on Jeff D'Lo's mom. How many did he eat?
Starting point is 01:06:43 Probably like 10. I FaceTimed him. 10? He looked like he'd been in war. Where's the worst place you've had an emergency diarrhea? The Atlanta Hawks-Miami Heat game about five years ago. Yeah. Eagles tailgate.
Starting point is 01:06:57 Oh, yeah. Subway. On the subway. Who did Preakness? They're on the subway. I'm in the rare camp of people who would rather really have to shit for an hour than really have to piss for an hour no i'm with you i work yeah really having to piss sucks because you're so much worse you can reverse eat look at what you said
Starting point is 01:07:17 proud proud i have hair on my chest and then he almost. And then two fucking. Then he tapped out. Scroll back up. Is that your plate over there? No. I hate wing snobs. Enjoy it. I take one bite. Yep. And then I get a new one. No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:07:35 And if I want more, I'll buy more. You can't leave protein on a wing. I bought them. I can do whatever. I'll get the meat. I'm not fucking gnawing on 10. No. What I'm saying is. Bullshit. I won'll get the meat. I'm not fucking gnawing on 10. No. That's not what he's saying.
Starting point is 01:07:46 What I'm saying is bullshit. I won't clean a bone. And a guy like you? I won't clean a bone. That's not what he's saying, guys. The reputation you have. That's not what he's saying. But you'll get shit on that.
Starting point is 01:07:54 I had a plate of like 30 wings there, and whoever was across the table had like four. Bytes, you're a gnaw guy. You can't say he's not built for this shit. I'm not a gnaw guy. You're not a gnaw guy? I can't say he's not built for this shit. I'm not a gnaw guy. You're not a gnaw guy? I can't do... I'm bad with textures. When weird textures get in my mouth, I get very nauseous.
Starting point is 01:08:12 So I can't... You have soft teeth. I can't... Is that what it is? I thought you told me you had soft teeth. I think you'd know. I don't even know. Is that a real thing?
Starting point is 01:08:20 Yeah. I don't think I have it. I thought you told me you had soft teeth. I was born with no enamel. Oh, that was when you were sucking me off. My adult teeth have en thing? Yeah. I don't think I have it. I thought you told me you had soft teeth. I was born with no enamel. Oh, that was when you were sucking me off. My adult teeth have enamel. Yeah. What did your childhood teeth look like?
Starting point is 01:08:30 They got ripped out of my skull with wrenches. What? Yeah, dude. Were you a prisoner of war? I would just regularly have to go to the dentist, and they'd fucking... Dude, he'd get over me. It was a special dentist in Bridgewater, Mass., and he'd get over me, and he'd just have a wrench or whatever, some clip.
Starting point is 01:08:46 And he was. What? A special dentist? Yeah. It wasn't a DDS. It was some other kind. I think it was a soft enamel, you told me. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:57 Or the bad enamel. That was. They would just. Basically, I would just eat until the tooth got infected, and they'd rip it out of my head. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. So, there's my dog got killed story. I have the best couple bites, and I'll put them down.
Starting point is 01:09:12 I'll be, ooh, after 12 wings. Why do I need to... You want to see me suck on a bone? The problem for Titus was this is a... You're built for this. You're built like that. Yeah. You don't finish your wings.
Starting point is 01:09:24 You don't polish them off. I would think if I saw you, built like that. Yeah. You don't finish your wings. You don't polish them off. I would think if I saw you, I'd be, oh, he don't finish his wings. I'm sorry I'm not an animal when I know my stomach is full. The problem for Titus is this is a yearly tradition that we go out to wings. Final four weekend. Me, Titus, Stanford, Steve, BFT when he's around, Hank. And it's been a running joke that he's not really built for it. And then this was his best best showing and then he immediately
Starting point is 01:09:46 got sick like this is his best showing by far and he was done and nobody else got sick no one else I would I actually I was like let's go back the next day because I loved them so much yeah
Starting point is 01:09:59 we're built mostly sports I mean the show's too early? Family. Two days of March Madness killed you. Who, me? Yeah. I was fine. You got sick for like 10 days.
Starting point is 01:10:14 No, that's different. I didn't know. I was fine. I mean, COVID and the flu both hit me at the same time. You got COVID again? Yeah. I'll say yeah. Brandon, I have a question about wrestlemania okay hey um how heartbreaking was it when you saw john cena's bald spot oh
Starting point is 01:10:33 i noticed that oh hey i didn't see this it's bad wait can you please play it i noticed it a couple years ago just seeing the rock out there because he's older than Cena, but seeing The Rock and Cena in the ring together, it's just like, man, Cena really lost you. When he ran down to the ring. Yes, dude. Oh, no. His run. Man, he's over the hill.
Starting point is 01:10:54 Oh, no. Yeah, dude. It's bad. Also, in a weird spot. Like, it's not exactly centered. And also, like, wrestling is the one profession, like, go bald. Yeah. Right. He's not a wrestler. what is up with people not getting hair transplant yeah rich people should have hair but isn't it as from my understanding with dave's hair transplant back
Starting point is 01:11:14 in the day you have to get balder before you can get the hair transplant no sure they can work with that the only reason i and this is just pure speculation is because they're replacing the spot that you know you need to grow hair and you don't know what else you're gonna lose unless you let it go a little bit more oh oh no that's oh my god yeah you can fix that dude yeah what is that I mean unless it's a steroids thing if you have real high t aren't don't you aren't you just gonna go bald anyway is that true I think Will? I don't know. My T's up right now, though. I got tested not too long ago.
Starting point is 01:11:50 Yeah, what have you been doing? Squatting? CJC 1295 and hip amorelin injections. What is that? Wait, wait, wait. He doesn't know. Do you inject yourself? Injections? You inject yourself? Yeah. Where do you go? In the ass? No, my thigh. How often? I'll go five the ass? No my thigh How often?
Starting point is 01:12:06 I'll go five days a week And it's testosterone? No it helps promote that stuff It's not TRT Because since we're still trying to have kids and stuff They don't recommend you getting on TRT So are you like sticking a needle in the vial And you're like measuring it out yourself?
Starting point is 01:12:23 No I already have It's all preloaded Oh I hate this. I still couldn't work up the nerve. No, I wouldn't be able to do that. Does that make you feel good? Yeah, man. I went from 280.
Starting point is 01:12:31 I've always had like lower T, like splitting around 300, and now I'm testing in the 900s. What? Oh, when you said 280, I was like, wait. Yeah, you were never that big. Is this doctor prescribed? No, no, yeah. Or you got a guy? Yeah, I got a guy. All right. All right, we'll talk about it guys what what do you notice what's your libido like right now i you fuck i am you i am my my boy
Starting point is 01:12:56 looks like brock lesnar every morning really shit shit oh my god that's usually like the first sign is like are you waking up with a morning wood? If you're not, your T levels are low. I wake up bricked up every morning. You're probably pretty good then. Every morning? That's your first kind of tell. Like 99% of them.
Starting point is 01:13:15 I'm al dente. Where do you get this? Airete. Airete? A-R-E-T-E in Nashville. It's a physical shop. Should we find some of this? In the worst way.
Starting point is 01:13:29 In the worst way. What are the side effects? Greatness. Bonus. Hell yeah. Bonus too hard. We'll talk. I'd like this.
Starting point is 01:13:44 I feel like i have low t yeah this would help yeah i don't i'm i don't wake up bricked up but that's just because of fear of my kids jumping in my bed so i think it's just gone out of my head now dude that was can't have that yeah it was an issue for me in surviving when i almost slept through the fucking challenge they had to come wake me up, and I had to lean over. I was like, you guys are going to have to give me a couple minutes. Really? That happened to Jerry when he did the hole-in-one stream,
Starting point is 01:14:13 and everyone thought he was so injured he couldn't walk because he was laying in bed when he woke up. And he was like, I just had a huge bone. I just had to get rid of it. Yeah, sleeping on camera is a dangerous game. If I have just a thick enough comforter, it'll keep it down. Winter time. That's the only reason I sleep with a weighted blanket. Who are these guys shooting around?
Starting point is 01:14:36 Taking some shots. It really is crazy how much everything looks like a penis out there, huh? All of them are dick-shaped. Every single one. That one in particular. One of them in the middle towards the back over there. that one is the blizzard is all the ones that would to the left one that guy's putting on right there that's we have the tea times oh okay wait let me do an ad and then we'll look at this tea times
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Starting point is 01:15:52 Hey, do we have a name wheel we have to do on Friday? It did get approved. Oh, it did? Yes. We had to do Steven's. Yes. What is it again? We shouldn't do it today just because we have the time constraint.
Starting point is 01:16:02 Oh, I said Friday. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So it's going to be called do you have enough body armor and it'll be a wheel where two people are going to square off and chug body armor the loser
Starting point is 01:16:12 gets slapped and then we're going to it's going to be a bracket style so in the final people will be pretty bloated we'll put like 20 minutes in between each okay I like it waterboarding what did I miss tea times round two fights oh wow first Waterboarding What did I miss? T-Times, round two, fights Oh wow, up first
Starting point is 01:16:26 Looks like Brandon and Mook Are up second I'm at 230 Where are you, Will? Oh, you're last 345, Will How did these Not that I care, I'm just curious
Starting point is 01:16:43 How do they find these times? What do you mean? Like, how do you decide that group six becomes group one? I think they reversed it. They didn't. But they didn't because I was group six. Chicago was behind us. Oh, they reversed it, and then the five groups have to go last.
Starting point is 01:17:01 Oh, I see. Yeah. Uh-huh. And then there's one more round today tonight will be after the cut so there'll only be 16 with ties so we're all guaranteed to play the next round right and then 16 with ties will start the third round tonight which will be great so it'll be less people on the course you can watch every shot and And we set it up to I think it's going to be like there will only be like two so there will be four groups tonight
Starting point is 01:17:29 and I think we're going to do it so there's only two groups on the course at one time. So it spaces it out so everyone can really watch. And then tomorrow night will be the final round. Who's all involved in the final round? Whoever. Once you make the cut, you play two more rounds.
Starting point is 01:17:47 But they'll change up the groups depending on score. So like tonight's round or tonight's foursomes will be based on score. So it's like the top four will go together and they'll go last like that. And your score at no point will ever reset. Once you make the cut, your score. I think you should actually be docked two points for that for asking well y'all fucking do it you cheat me you fuck me every other way just fuck me again you got screwed wait no floors reset no no okay i know for a fact there were people who were taking everybody was doing it i know everybody was doing it tayton hank can
Starting point is 01:18:19 suck my fucking dick man it's only 22 000 what score do you have right now brandon uh i'm even par should be but he was 10 under at one 10 over it's also i know it's like 11 000 yeah why i like to work with real numbers i work like the epl where i do post-tax numbers i think it's probably more oh oh well then that's a different story. Brandon should be way more mad. Furious. Tate's going to narc that to the IRS. That's another spot, right? Yeah, he'll tell.
Starting point is 01:18:51 Yeah. Brandon, are you physically attending the Masters? Oh, yeah. I'm actually not. No. I gave my tickets away Thursday and Friday. Wow. But I left it open that I could go Saturday and Sunday,
Starting point is 01:19:07 but I'd rather not go. Why? I'm just not going to go. Did you win the raffle, or is this a hard traveling? I have Masters tickets every year, and I got them for the first time last year, and I tried to go, and I didn't get there. And this year I was going to go,
Starting point is 01:19:23 and then WrestleMania came up, and this came up and i would rather stay home than go to the masters so have you ever been no i want to go really bad but i also this also is going to be probably the schedule every year now this will be right after i think this we're going to do this masters week every week every year so you need wrestle me you need some sort of way to get out of that branded content. You should go, man. You should go. You never know when your last date is going to be. Pete's been waiting for
Starting point is 01:19:55 20 years. You skip a weekend, it snowballs. We offered to Third Eye Blind and he said no. He'll come to that. We should just drug him before he gets on the plane. I'm 40. I'll be 45 my next birthday. Whoa.
Starting point is 01:20:09 And that's coming up. Saturday. What? Whoa. So you could be at the Masters on your birthday? Yeah. Wow. Wait, we got to do something on Friday for that.
Starting point is 01:20:18 Yes, we should. What if we chug some water and slap each other? I don't want to do that. Let's do a Brandon Walker appreciation day. No, I don't want to do that. Oh. Yes. I don't want to do that either. Today's a Brandon Walker appreciation, Dan. No, I don't want to do that. Oh. I don't want to do that either. Today's his five year.
Starting point is 01:20:27 Balupas? Today's my five year, yeah. Wait, today's your five year? Yeah. Did you play the video yesterday? No. Can we play it? Come on.
Starting point is 01:20:34 I don't know. What video? Yesterday was the five year of that. Today was the five year of the hiring. Yeah. They played that video. I saw it. No, we played it on the Yak, though.
Starting point is 01:20:45 We didn't. No, we got to play it. Yeah. They played that video. I saw it. No, we played it on the Yak, though. We didn't. No, we got to play it. Yeah. And you got hired the very following day? There's a massive competitor in the background, right? No, but that's fine. Dave blogged about it the next day, and then they called me on Barstool Radio. Just play the audio.
Starting point is 01:21:00 That was what, like 10 years ago? My five-year anniversary was 10 years ago? I'm just saying you've aged pretty quickly. No, he looks way better now. Yeah, I know. He looks younger. You think so? I know so.
Starting point is 01:21:10 Oh, yeah. I was watching that video. I remember how exciting it was, too, when you first came to the office. Like this new guy, summer guy. That wore off fast. I don't think it did. I think I did very well. I love having you on.
Starting point is 01:21:22 Oh, wait. What happened on Periscope? What happened on periscope what happened on periscope somebody calls me a squid okay thank you very much bubby brister i appreciate that fantastic a lot of people here i was used to an audience of 12 how many people were on 1800 are you supposed to do a walks will oh is it 120? Three minutes. Three minutes. Oh, I see. I see. Barstool is out first. Three minutes.
Starting point is 01:21:47 Frank's trying to break. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Tank. He keeps his people in line. Yeah. Mikey Betts was late today, and Frank was livid. Did you guys see the moment that Jenks called him a fuckface?
Starting point is 01:22:05 Called Frank a fuck face? Yeah, he broke. He broke for a second. But then he got back. Yeah. And Frank doing the immaculate grid as the pace car. That was unbelievable. That was almost a bridge too far.
Starting point is 01:22:18 I mean, that was... Just give him the attention, please. No. Immaculate grid time. Yeah, but Jenks like forgot his bag and it was almost... Look at this. Just give him the attention, please. No. Immaculate grid time. Yeah, but Jenks, like, forgot his bag, and it was almost. Look at this. It's the pace car of a NASCAR race.
Starting point is 01:22:34 Oh, my God. Legend. Jenks' only escape is when he's shitting, and then Frank did a phone a friend on the dozen while Jenks was shitting. Can you imagine being that pace car driver? Like, literally everyone else who sat in that seat, it's been arguably the best day of their life. And this guy can't stop. He's not playing an internet game.
Starting point is 01:22:53 He's like, nah, I got to figure out who hit 50 home runs and played for the Reds. George Foster. Frank, yeah, but that was crazy seeing Jenks. And Mikey Betts probably loved it. Oh, yeah. Posted that. Their whole relationship, all three of them, is so funny.
Starting point is 01:23:11 Frank's guys. No, Frank was pissed this morning that Mikey was late, but then he calmed down and he just was like, he'll be punished. Mikey Betts broke a little bit today, too, on hole. It wasn't a big break, but it was hole, whatever the high noon hole is over here. And Frank just fucking fired it off the course. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:31 And he just kind of threw it. He goes, Frank, what the fuck are we doing? He's being his caddy. Yeah, Frank screamed. He's like, I've gone out of bounds nine times. And I looked at Mikey Betts and he was like, five. Drivers! Yes.
Starting point is 01:23:48 Start your engines! Is he getting booed? I'm saying that. Are those booed? Yo. Who's booing Tank? Very aggressive boo. Wait a minute. That was.
Starting point is 01:23:56 I didn't notice that when I watched it. I didn't either. That was in Martinsville, Virginia. What do they have? Were those standard? Drivers! Start! That almost sounds like a soundboard.
Starting point is 01:24:08 That's a real boo. Oh, that's an aggressive boo. Good boos. Oh, man. Damn. Someone really doesn't like to tank. Boo! He bought tickets to boo.
Starting point is 01:24:22 Yeah. He was putting his whole body into that boo. Full body boo. Congrats to boo. Yeah. He was putting his whole body into that boo. Full body boo. Congrats to Kyle. Yep. For what? Oh. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 01:24:32 Yes. That's well deserved. Yes. Well, well deserved. Were you just drunk in that? He's getting health insurance. He's got security. Yes.
Starting point is 01:24:45 Yeah. Look at that black beard on Dan. Yeah. I think that might have been one of those years we did. He did get gauged. We had just for men as a sponsor. Oh, here it comes. You were so drunk.
Starting point is 01:25:07 I was. Nothing else. No. I didn't say anything. Just booze. Just a lot of booze. Yeah. I'm nervous for the second round. I think this is when I'm going to choke.
Starting point is 01:25:18 I just got up here. I wasn't, and then you said out of nervousness, I got a real pit in my stomach. I shook Hank's hand after. He's like, why is your hand so wet? I was like, because I'm fucking nervous. Mini golf sucks. I need more movement.
Starting point is 01:25:30 Yeah? It's too idle. Yeah, it gets too quiet. Oh, you know what? What kind of club have you guys been playing with? The Blades. The Blades. I was using a mallet, and that fucked me a couple times.
Starting point is 01:25:39 Yeah. You got to go with the Blade. Also, I have the caddy controversy this morning, Dave and Whitney just being the biggest babies ever. If they watched, all Jerry has done is just right before I take a big shot, he just goes, you have to make this. That's the only thing he's done for me. And then in the middle, I've heard him, hey, slow it down, slow it down.
Starting point is 01:26:00 And then I'll just stand right on the ball about to swing. He goes, this is a must make. That's good advice. But it's not fucking nerve wracking. If you follow his advice, you'll win. And he also will just like, I'll stand in the tee box and he'll just be like, don't hit that, that, or that. Blattman's my caddy and I feel like seven under. I'm playing way better than I thought I ever would.
Starting point is 01:26:19 And after every hole, he's like, hey, for as bad as you've played, like you're in it. Dude, I had Dante as my caddy. He didn't show up until the 14th hole. Y'all have caddies? And then he actually did help on one. He cleaned the ball for me, and that just made me feel nice, and I played well. But then another one, he was like, it was a big putt, and he goes, dude, don't bogey this. Rimmed right out.
Starting point is 01:26:43 I was like, as soon as you said that, there was no chance I was hitting that fucking putt. Oh, man. Yeah, Blutman, he's got the look. Considering he played terribly. Yeah, there it is. Dude, Blutman's a bad man. They said we won't win if we don't want to. I think he's talking to you, Will.
Starting point is 01:27:04 He gives me advice every hole. What happened with Rico? we don't want to i think he's talking to you will he gives me advice every every hole what happened with rico i don't know oh you're talking about his bump no but yeah rico rico had a tough start right oh yeah he you stole he was like blotman from rico you offered him more money yeah then we combined i said we could we could we'll both use him that was the thing that's like how much is uh Rico giving you? He's like 10%. I said, I'll do 20. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:28 Dave and Whitney could have offered Jerry. Yeah. We're not even doing a split. Wait, you're giving him 100%, aren't you? Yeah, that's not a split. What has he helped you? What was the highlight of? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:40 Actually, no. He has. If I hit a bad shot, I almost always will hit a bad shot right after, and he makes me stop. Stop hitting bad shots? No, no. Like, stop and take a breath.
Starting point is 01:27:54 Because, like, I'm the type of person who will hit a bad shot and then just run up and just do it again. Yeah. Just be like, fuck! 100%. He's helped with that a lot. But, yeah. Just every shot is... And his strategy makes no sense, too. If it's like a par. But yeah, just every shot is.
Starting point is 01:28:05 And his strategy makes no sense, too. If it's like a par two and it's my second shot, he's like, you don't have to make this. But then if it's a par four and it's my third shot, he's like, you have to make this. Interesting strategy. Yeah. It should be fun, though. Yeah. It's going to get intense.
Starting point is 01:28:21 Yeah, it'll get intense. Kirk is going to. Kirk is not like. I think he's just laying in the weeds because he'll – and I don't think the rules guy is interesting. What is his name? Adam. Do we have the leaderboard? I know that Whitney's on top.
Starting point is 01:28:36 I don't know what's behind it. We can look at it again. Yeah. It's actually a lot of really good scores, so I'm not like – even at minus 10, I feel like I have to – 15 unders is unbelievable. Unbelievable. Francis, Marty.
Starting point is 01:28:48 Marty, look at him. Yeah, Marty was going. Oh, shit. Yeah, I didn't realize Marty up there. So seven is like the cut line is six. Yeah. Which is crazy. I got to play well.
Starting point is 01:29:00 Che, you got to. You picked it up. Although you hit Che head up. I had a good run. I had one really bad one. Dave had a minus three. Dave was talking about quitting. He was struggling.
Starting point is 01:29:09 Are we talking about minus three as if it's good or bad? Bad. I guess bad. Outline is minus six. Yeah, Dave was saying that he just might go home because he's like, I'm not going to win. Has he been in it in the past ones? Has he been out?
Starting point is 01:29:24 He's been out. I think he missed the cut in the first one has he been oh he's he's been out i think he's i think he got missed the cut in the first one it's a song oh so this is his regular for yeah the way you're talking about it was i might just go home makes me like he's surprised he's not missing no i think he's not been he usually has some excuse i don't know what it is today i think when we did the first look at that like our first ever mini golf thing 10 12 whatever many years ago that was like blind mike was in it oh yeah people i'm mike yeah that I think when we did the first, like our first ever mini golf thing, 10, 12, whatever many years ago that was, like Blind Mike was in it. Oh, yeah, he beat Blind Mike.
Starting point is 01:29:48 Yeah, that one he – that one – actually, I don't even know how he can find that clip if he can, but that one where he's giving his wrap-up speech as Blind Mike's still trying to finish 18 behind him. Yeah. And he's just – he like five putts it behind him. Yeah. He's like, all right, that was the mini golf, whatever we called it, is unbelievable.
Starting point is 01:30:06 And then he also had the time when he played spike balls, him and Hank first, you and Blind Mike? No, Dana. And Blind Mike. Dana, the girl. Yeah, yeah. And Blind Mike literally just couldn't see the ball. Spike it and be like, all right, point for us. Does Hank love mini golf or does he think that's the only game?
Starting point is 01:30:30 It's his number one content idea. So it's like if you're sitting in a big meeting and it's like, all right, guys, we've got to think of what's up next year, he'll just be like mini golf. You know what I told them? This would be an idea that interests you and you, I the i was like let's do a strongman like instead of combine like with like comic large like fucking high noon cans and draft kings logos and stuff oh that'd be really cool like magnus von magnuson yeah i was like with like the fucking axe the stone the atlas stones like yeah the atlas i i i emailed them about they did not reply I was like with like the fucking axe, the stone. Yeah. The Atlas stones. Yeah, the Atlas stones.
Starting point is 01:31:05 I emailed them about that. They did not reply. I got to go walk with Frank, boys. I got to walk with Frank. Yeah, he's really on your ass. Look at him. You might get punished. He's on your ass.
Starting point is 01:31:18 I wonder what Mikey Betts' punishment is. Probably can't use the bathroom. That's what they get awarded with. Oh, yeah. Five-minute bathroom breaks. He's gonna wipe jenks for every 20 hours of service you get a five minute bathroom break you got kirk and riggs going out there looking around at stuff yeah i think kirk is gonna have a oh yeah kirk he's. He's going to get a nice round. How's Riggsie doing?
Starting point is 01:31:47 Is Jake all cozy? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, Jake. Oh. What? What?
Starting point is 01:32:00 What? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, there's Tank. And Booze. Come with me.
Starting point is 01:32:09 What did you get, Brandon? You'll see. Okay. I was really drunk in Italy, and I bought it on Amazon. I'm not smart with money. Are you going to do more vacations? No. I'll do one a year.
Starting point is 01:32:23 That's good. Yeah. Yeah, it just felt really good. What time were you eating dinners at, like 11? Like 9.30. 9.30. Yeah, I was getting out of there at like midnight. That's awesome.
Starting point is 01:32:34 Some countries, they don't start the day until 2. Yeah, like Spain? Argentina. Dude, I saw it. Did you see that? I saw that TikTok, yeah. Nothing is opened until like the afternoon. That rocks.
Starting point is 01:32:48 Kind of nice. No one's a morning person. Yeah, but it's one of those things like a siesta too where like it rocks for like a day or two. And then you're like, well, I'd like to live a little bit. Like siestas, I studied abroad in Spain. And like they were great on days you were hungover. And then other days you're like, well, I just I don't want to go home and nap right now it's two in the afternoon i'd rather do shit but i like oh yeah i don't think i would like that like when things are open
Starting point is 01:33:12 here we're here like if we have to run to like the post officer or doctors we have to leave work yeah yeah yeah if it was all adjusted that's okay because i i i've lived in my apartment in new york for three years i still don't have blinds because they're like, we come between 10 and 5. I'm like, well, I have work, so I can't be here for that. So I guess that's never get blinds. Like, what am I supposed to do? Take one day off?
Starting point is 01:33:42 But, like, also, I don't like. I guess you're right. You'll never have blinds. I don't like planned days also, I don't like... I guess you're right. You'll never have blinds. I don't like planned days off. I don't know. I'm just like, I don't know. I don't have blinds. I wake up with the sun, and I have a big glare on my TV.
Starting point is 01:33:55 Yeah. Oh, your house is... You can't consume media there. I think we watched the Conor McGregor fight there. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Didn't see shit. Wait, so are you just, like, jerking off in your bed with the blinds open?
Starting point is 01:34:11 I'll usually wait until night. You can't do a midday. Because I, like, look into, like, a courtyard, and I can only, like, see, like, three apartments. And I basically wait until they put their blinds down. I got to jerk off on their schedule. That's crazy. You only jerk off at the same time as your neighbor yeah like whenever they say is when i can is when you're allowed to come yeah it kind of turns me on
Starting point is 01:34:34 all right what else we got steven uh oh did you see our slide shows with steven oh we white socks dave has to do his slideshow. He owes us that. Yes. Nick, when you were gone, we did- Did we finalize a date for that? We did the Steven's dumb questions slideshows. Everyone had to do a presentation. Oh.
Starting point is 01:34:53 Yeah. I like that. They were very dumb questions. What was mine? What vegetable would you be? What was yours? Death cat mushroom. Okay.
Starting point is 01:35:04 Kill someone. Okay. Kill someone. Okay. I'd be Radish. Really? Mm-hmm. It's kind of cool. And White Sox Dave didn't do it and then came in and said he did do it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:14 And then we got to him and just admitted that he had never done it. We're just like, do you have a presentation? He's like, yeah. And then we're like, all right, it's time for you. And he's like, I don't have one. So he owes us one. Big time. Okay, so should we get ready for more mini golf?
Starting point is 01:35:27 High noon. Oh, can someone do the high noon ad? Yeah. What's tomorrow on the act? Anything? No, we're just... John, you'll be here. I'll be here.
Starting point is 01:35:37 Yeah, we'll be here, so come back. And then Friday, we'll do a Brandon Walker Appreciation Day and Stephen's name. Yeah. And then Monday, we're doing the draft of the movie, the film. Oh, yeah. Festival.
Starting point is 01:35:51 Yeah. So do you know about all the things we're drafting? We're drafting the genres, right? Well, there's, you build things. Okay. So you could take like one genre. You can't,
Starting point is 01:35:57 so you have to be strategic. We had this meeting where we build all the things. It's going to be really fun. So like, there has to be a specific scene you take. So like, fuck, if we take Western here, we might get stuck with sex scene.
Starting point is 01:36:09 Okay. Oh, shit. Do we get props? Yes. Let's go. I would like to put in a request that I come to the red carpet. Yeah, I think you're on vacation. I can't be in any of the stuff.
Starting point is 01:36:25 I would like to come to the screen. Yes, absolutely. And Nicky Smokes texted me and said, can I bring two hoes to the red carpet? Bro, Nicky Smokes today, I was in a deep conversation, not really, but with like Chaps and Trent. We're just kind of in our own world talking. Nicky Smokes like pushes people out of the way,
Starting point is 01:36:50 grabs me and goes, bro, what do you know about the human body? I was like what like nothing he's a weird one my right arm's been going numb you any idea what are you talking about why would you ever ask me that asking you that I was talking to Hank this morning and Nikki smokes comes up and he said do either of you have Adderall and we were like oh I was I, I think Frank does. And, and Hank hops right on. He's like, yeah, Frank has 25 XRs.
Starting point is 01:37:10 And Nicky Smokes is like, no fucking way. Yes. And he like dapped us both up and we watched him go ask Frank. Just stared at him. Mikey Betts had to turn him down. Yeah. So Frank just like divvied it off to Betts
Starting point is 01:37:23 and then Betts was like, we don't have any. If we did, we wouldn't do down. Yeah. So Frank just like divvied it off to Betts and then Betts was like, we don't have any. If we did, we wouldn't get it. God damn. All right. Let's spin our wheel, TJ. Then we'll, everyone tune in. Oh, high noon.
Starting point is 01:37:35 Yeah. Bring the fiesta anywhere you go with the all new high noon tequila seltzer fiesta pack. This variety eight pack features two new tequila flavors blood orange and prickly pear alongside two tequila favorites grapefruit and lime all are made with real tequila and real juice perfect for any fiesta find the high noon tequila seltzer fiesta pack nearest you at high noon spirits.com high noon sun's up um yeah so tomorrow we'll do do it. Tomorrow we don't have any mini golf after the act, so we can do a longer yak. And then
Starting point is 01:38:10 Friday we'll do... Can we pass on Brandon Walker appreciation? What do you want? But you have to say something. Are you interested in Brandon Walker? I am interested in it. I'm not 100% guaranteed to be here Friday. So I might miss Brandon Walker? I am interested in it. I'm not 100% guaranteed to be here Friday. For what?
Starting point is 01:38:27 So I might miss Brandon Walker Appreciation Day. Wouldn't that be perfect? That would make sense. That actually is the perfect way to do it. No, I'll be here. I'll be here then. And then if you don't come here, we'll give your gifts to each other.
Starting point is 01:38:37 Yeah. All right. We'll figure it out. All right, so everyone bring a gift for Brandon Walker Appreciation Day. Easy. That sounds nice. Do I have to bring one?
Starting point is 01:38:45 Yes. Yeah, to give to yourself. Yeah. Buy something for yourself, man. Treat yourself. Treat yourself. Do you like okra pie? Love okra pie.
Starting point is 01:38:52 There's no such thing. Okra pie? Fried okra? I like fried okra. I got you. In a pie form? Yeah, I don't think there's ever been an okra pie. Picture a pie crust.
Starting point is 01:39:03 Yeah. And then put okra. It's that simple. All you have to do to picture a pie is do it. Are we all just going to bring him food? No, I got his gift. I'm going to get him something special, but I don't know what. Spin that wheel, TJ.
Starting point is 01:39:20 I'm going to get you something special. Is there anything you've had your eye on that you just don't want to buy for yourself? I don't. Oh, my God. Come on. Whoa. Oh, boy. And reminder, I know people are yelling me.
Starting point is 01:39:35 We will spin the fart wheel every day until we get it, but we don't want to know what day we're going to get it. It's going to hit. Yeah, well, it has to hit because we're going to eliminate the non-fart wheels. So, it will happen, but it has to happen naturally so people can't come planned with farts. Yeah, it could happen tomorrow. I'll bring one. I'll just come. I'll bring a couple.
Starting point is 01:39:54 I'll come loaded with farts every day. I guess I kind of do every day. Yeah. I farted like three times on this show. What? I'm just letting them squeak. I got it. I don't know if I have one right now.
Starting point is 01:40:06 You do. It's a bad omen for mini golf if you can't even fart. Cat, you have to. How are you so good, Cat? It's hot. Walk on. Let's get out of here. How are you so good at that? It's hard walking. How are you?
Starting point is 01:40:26 Let's get out of here. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop. We're doing Yankee swap. It's the act. It's the act. Hey, good to be back. Have a great week, everybody.
Starting point is 01:41:16 Couple birthdays I missed. Frankie Buka's daughter, Bella. Happy eighth birthday. Hold on. Will Borgo and Megan Bailey. Happy birthday, everybody. Love you. Bye.

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