The Yak - All Business Pete Hasn't Had Fun in 20 Years | The Yak 4-10-24
Episode Date: April 10, 2024Too Much PointYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. It's the Yak.
It's the Yak.
Oh, early.
It's the Yak.
Everyone's back.
And we got special guest John Feidelberg.
Hi, guys.
As well as Will Compton going to join us in 15.
I miss you.
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Nicholas
Boys I missed you
I missed you like crazy
You got a new look
Yeah
Yeah but what is it?
I can't tell
I have a mustache I guess
Yeah it's a bigger mustache
I guess
I just shaved the beard off.
So you went to Italy and all you got was this mustache?
That's all I got.
Tell us everything.
You want to know everything?
You have a slideshow?
No.
No.
Wait, so Rome and then where else?
Florence.
Florence.
Yeah.
Did you see David?
No.
No.
But you know what I did see?
Bumped into her.
Zendaya.
What?
Yeah. Are you sure? Didn't see David, but I saw Zendaya. Are you know what I did see? Bumped into her. Zendaya. What? Yeah.
Are you sure?
Didn't see David, but I saw Zendaya.
Are you sure?
Yeah, there was that tennis movie, and I stumbled upon the premiere, and I bumped into Zendaya.
Really?
Yeah.
Zendaya or Zendaya?
Don't know.
I think it's Zendaya.
It's Zendaya.
Zendaya?
Yeah.
I said Zendaya in the worst of times.
But she wishes you all the best.
Well, everyone knows Zendaya, but for people who don't, who is she?
Zendaya is a musician and more famously an actress.
An actress.
Why would you start with the left?
I honestly didn't even know she was a musician.
Ronald Reagan.
Chronologically.
What?
She's in Spider-Man.
Euphoria, Dune.
Okay, I don't watch these movies.
She dates Tom Holland, who, by the way,
those two might be in a bit of a star is born situation.
Oh, that's true.
But she's in this new tennis movie where she has a threesome with two tennis players.
Yes.
Whoa, wait.
Who is the name of the woman who Howard Stern rigged for American Idol?
No, that was Catherine McPhee.
Ah, okay.
But I was voting for her.
I was close. And Jaya?io eric the midget had a
crush on katherine mcphee yes to a stalker level maybe the same season you know who else is a big
crush on katherine mcphee jerry thornton wow oh he's she like doing shit to warrant no i don't
i think those crushes died down but he used to talk about katherine mcphee he probably has a
lot of crush at what age can you not have crushes anymore uh 13 yeah yeah no no later later i don't think
i think once you start having sex you can't be crushing you can't have a crush if you can fuck
if i said i had a crush on someone people like ew yes yeah yeah like i have i have crushes on dudes
now that yeah yeah wait there's got to be a word for that.
You don't have a crush on Ryan Gosling?
I have a crush on Ryan Gosling.
I'm pretty confident saying that.
I have like three active crushes right now.
Men or women?
Both.
Are you talking about girls that are attainable?
Possibly.
It can't be like a celeb crush.
It has to be somebody you can meet.
So I could have a crush on Zendaya, but you guys couldn't because you've never seen her in person.
Actually, I have.
Really?
I have as well.
We didn't know it was her.
Brandon and I, I think we're sitting almost right next to her at Teterboro, the private
airport to go out to a college football game.
And we got on the plane
and Dave was like,
oh, Big F was like,
hey, you see that was in,
and Dave like lost his mind.
Bray and I were like
maybe sitting right next to her
and didn't fucking know.
I'm a big Jack fan.
We have to say excuse me
to her to walk through.
I brought you guys stuff.
Oh, hell yes.
Wait, wait, so wait,
tell us about the trip.
You did go to Italy, right?
It's not like you went to Disney World.
Not a bit.
Yeah, I went to Italy.
I went to Rome and Florence.
Came back.
Vacation.
Historical sites, obviously.
You did the Colosseum.
Yes.
What was your favorite fun fact you learned in the Colosseum?
Your favorite fact.
I didn't do any tours or anything.
You didn't do any tours?
No fun facts?
I actually did on my Quest 3.
On VR?
What's that?
Dude, I just walked around, had wine.
I had no plans.
I wanted it to be like a...
I didn't want to be a vacation where you came back tired.
Did you stay gluten-free?
Listen to this.
Listen to this shit.
I could eat a lot of the shit over there.
Because it's not...
It's different.
It's not poison.
The way it's like the shit over there. Because it's not... It's different. It's not poison, but they're poisoning us. The way it's like,
the flour is done.
I did eat some stuff
where I had some
little hang-ups.
It is crazy going to Europe
and realizing, like,
we probably are just
poisoning ourselves
all the time.
Chef Donnie told me
it's, like, already too late.
Like, it's in our soil
that we can't just go back.
Oh, nice.
It's a bummer,
but I went to McDonald's there.
Oh.
Was it good?
I got the McToast, and that got me sick.
What was the McToast?
It'll get you sick.
The McToast will get you every time.
Oh, yeah, Greer's here.
Greer's here.
He just happens to be here.
How were the Sigs?
Sigs are great.
Really, really great.
Did you do the Femme Sigs?
The really skinny, long ones?
No, no, no no those are the ones dude
i panicked when i got to the uh when i got to the place to buy cigarettes i just got marbs marbs
yeah dude i did i came coming back through duty free i just stocked up on sleeves of the fems
those are cool fuck yeah no i smoked the entire time all my luggage reeks uh i slept with the
window open the first night i have like 50 mosquito
bites down my back oh i looked just yeah it's bad i would have some on my face thought italy
didn't have mosquitoes oh they're european they're different yeah oh by the way we um
i want to get to your gifts so there is a fart gate going on so what happened kyle farted right
in this mic 12 hours fart eliminator happened this mic 12 hours ago fart eliminator happened multiple times
fart eliminator happened but we didn't do it
my ass cheeks
which would be probably the best
best body part to clean with is your ass cheeks
why is that?
it's soft you could lube it up with soap
what did you say?
I'm confused what you're saying
I think the ass cheek would be the best thing, body part, to clean something.
Great suction, at least.
I don't understand.
How are you cleaning it?
I think it would act the most like a sponge.
You're using it as the applicator to clean off whatever you're...
And we're obviously ruling out hands and elbows and stuff on this.
I don't think so.
So not everyone did fart eliminator when it happened so we did uh it landed on fart eliminator eliminator on friday's episode
yep and we were like we're gonna put it off until the whole crew is here so i think that seems fine
yeah and i think here's here's the deal because fart eliminator the reason why fart eliminator
works is no one knows that it's going to be a fart eliminator
right like you show up and you don't know if that's the day you're gonna have to fart
so i think the solution is i had tj make a wheel it's five no farts one fart we'll just spin this
every day until we hit it that way no one can plan their farts i just don't think it's right
that you can just come on the yak without any risk of farting like the people that were on the show and like yeah that's true they're getting off they'll have
to be punished but i think this is the best way to duplicate fart eliminator because otherwise if
we just were like oh we're doing it on friday i would just eat a bunch of chili and come in and
just rip you're right you're 100 right you it has to be the risk of do you have one has to be there
yeah so we'll just spin this wheel.
We won't eliminate any slices from this wheel.
We'll just spin this wheel every day till it happens.
Is that fair?
I like it.
I think the chat probably will hate me no matter what.
No, that's a good compromise.
Not a compromise, but that's a good solution.
Because I was thinking about it.
If we just say, oh, we're doing Fart Eliminator Friday,
what's the fun in that?
We'll all just come locked and loaded.
Do you guys have days where you don't fart?
No, but there's days when you come in and you're actually loaded.
When you have to fart more.
I can't tell you the last time a fart of mine made a noise.
Mine are all silent.
I don't have, I think probably, maybe like junior year of college.
That's some gluten-free shit.
That is something.
My farts don't, I don't know if my ass, does the ass get looser as you age?
You have a loose asshole.
I think I do. I think I do.
I think I do.
It's constantly diluted to about the size of a penny.
Does it make a, you look at your asshole like that?
I can just feel.
You can feel it.
Yeah.
All right, so spin it.
Everyone's, I just was getting L'd to death.
There's no solution.
What do they
want i don't know they just want us to fart today oh i mean i came loaded you're filled with fart
right now oh yeah i just ate a big sub you know what you know what i've been eating lately that
gets you just gets you farting uh dried mangoes and he really you're always on
something i can see steven j's head bobbing back there yeah i think we talked about were you on
like a crazy dried mango cake were you having like an insane amount at night i was eating about a
pound of mango at night yeah we talked about this a couple years ago well the whole appeal of a
mango is how juicy and delicious it is no but like but when you get – it's kind of like a remotely healthy, I hope,
like fruit by the foot or something like that where it's kind of chewy.
Okay.
It's good.
They're very good, but they'll make you toot your brains out.
That's been me with Halo Tops.
I'm on a Halo Top kick right now.
Oh, that's a –
Just fucking stinking it up.
That's the worst thing you've ever said.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
You're a – I don't like like you i'm watching my figure halo top is not like you shouldn't that shouldn't exist
you can't go into it thinking this is ice cream right i think this is just a frozen tree you put
me on the halo top i think it's fine i think it's good for a dieter is it not ice cream no it's
garbage i've never had it i think it's pretty good ice cream no ice cream is ice cream is it
healthy ice cream yeah the whole pint's like 400 cut 300 thought it was ice cream. Ice cream is ice cream. Is it healthy ice cream?
Yeah, the whole pint's like...
400, 300?
Yeah, it might be around 300.
Healthy ice cream is just eating a little bit less ice cream.
Do you know how many calories are in a Blizzard?
A small.
Oh, yeah.
Is it over 700?
Like 600?
I think it's over 700.
Holy moly.
That's a small.
Did you try the animal cracker one?
No.
You should.
You've been on your Blizzard?
Nerd's Blizzard was my favorite. No one's. They stopped doing them. No one? No. You should. You've been on your Blizzard show? Nerds Blizzard was my favorite.
No one.
They stopped doing them.
No one's favorite.
So now I have to go get Dairy Queen ice cream and I put in my own.
I be why I went.
Until Nerds invented the cluster, Nerd was a useless cluster.
You're forgetting the ropes.
You're forgetting the rope.
The ropes were okay.
They're not big enough for you.
You like quantity.
You like a bag you could keep on the pillow.
That's right.
Yeah.
Speaking of bowels, by the way, Nick, you were gone for a week.
The upstairs bathroom was fine.
Today, huge shit in the last stall.
Oh, no side button, Nick.
Yep.
You guys can look at my ass.
My ass healed over.
I didn't shit when I was in Rome.
I'm over shitting. He is right about that. Yes. I woke up, and I felt something at my ass. My ass healed over. I didn't shit when I was in Rome. I have no... I'm over shitting.
He is right about that.
Yes.
I woke up and I felt something like at my feet.
It was the scab of my asshole and it was healed over.
I'm good now.
I kept it.
Did you have to do the hotel lobby shit?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Everyone knows that move.
You're staying in a hotel with maybe the opposite sex,
and you're like, I have to do something.
They're all clean, empty.
And you're like, I'm going to go out for a second.
Just go shit in the hotel lobby.
I'd go work out, but I wouldn't actually work out.
I would come back in like 20 minutes, and that was quick.
You're not even sweating.
The bathroom of the hotel I was staying in was like a glass cube.
Yeah, right.
They make it so it's impossible to have to shit in there
if you have two people.
I was also in a hotel two weekends ago
where I was like, this would be a nightmare
with a significant other because they were separated.
Sometimes you can pull the whole, I'm going to go shower,
and you shower for a good long while.
Yeah.
But the toilet was in one room.
The shower was in another room.
Oh.
And I was like, well, what the fuck can you'd be screwed here yeah so you're you guys won't even tell a significant
other that you're going to shit somewhere else no i guess that's the advantage of being married
you just well no but even still i'll still i don't like it but i won't i still won't shit in
the hotel if it's because if you're in a hotel room.
Yeah, there are shits that like, oh, if I'm on the road, like when I was in Arizona this
week, like I'll take a shit in the morning and I'll come back like five hours later and
I'll be like, whoa, it's clearly in here too.
Yeah.
Like, holy shit, that's bad.
And the hotel had the toilet with two buttons.
So the shit flush was louder than the piss flush.
Do you fart in the bed?
No, I'm not a big farter anyway.
But I will...
No one on this show is.
I will say...
Sorry.
Got it.
Sorry.
I just apologized.
You get a blumpkin?
Yeah, you say that.
Is that what you want?
You got a blumpkin?
What is that?
That's a blowjob while you're taking a poop.
No, no, I don't get blowjobs, but I do take poops. You've gotten a half blumpkin. You're a half blumpkin? What is that? That's a blowjob while you're taking a poop. No, no, I don't get blowjobs, but I do take poofs.
You've gotten a half-blumpkin.
You're a half-blumpkin?
Yeah, you're a half-blumpkin guy.
He's done a reverse blumpkin.
He's just taking his shit while he's saying turd.
Yeah, I got to start saying, like, I average one blumpkin a day.
Reverse blumpkin.
Just, yeah, walk in there there so what'd you get us um so brandon's gift is still in the mail because it's bigger for this brandon what's up i haven't seen
you in a while hey man he's been good i've been me and kyle playing golf that was the valley of
the sun don't zoom in on this box valley of the sun was good spirits good action good food all
right nothing gifts from it are gifts for everybody,
but Brandon, your gift is bigger,
and it's in the mail.
What?
Go ahead.
What is your issue?
Go ahead.
That's not from Italy.
I didn't say it was.
You just said he had gifts.
But I did get these.
These are from Italy.
That's like when I come back from...
When I was in Arizona,
I got my kids a gift.
It was from the 7-Eleven down the street.
This is mine?
This is everybody's.
So open it up and divvy them out as you see fit.
There's actually one in there for me, too.
I bought one for myself.
But that was just in a kiosk in Italy.
Brandon, why are you stressing, bud?
Your gift is bigger and better.
Brandon's very strange.
What's the deal?
It's very strange
What are you trying to prove here?
What are you talking?
He got us gifts
Yours is coming
I got these in Italy for you guys
Don't be a baby about it
Oh
Woo
Got some FC Milan gear
West Point football
yeah I know you guys love them to death
you gave money for the rings
yes
they reached out to me
and wanted to send me merch
Nick hoodie coming later special order
but here are the t-shirts
Brad wants to know when everyone will wear so he can watch along with some of the coaches.
Love ya, Mama Vic.
Oh, yeah.
But no, that's coincidental.
I don't know how that got it.
I got those from the Vatican.
Oh, yeah, this is from Italy.
It's green.
That's in the flag.
So, yeah, go ahead, guys, and grab whatever.
Thank you.
Awesome.
Yeah. Thank you so much, Nick. Too point what are you a large me yeah i i i feel like i shouldn't i don't deserve
one no my god yes i'm in uh i'm in excel i think okay here you go thank you who's gonna love it is
will compton yeah well well i was gonna wear this all the time. Can I ask before I put this on just what the back story is?
It's West Point High School, just a powerhouse.
It's this one school that Nick is a big fan of.
They're like a top five team in Mississippi.
All right, I'm starting to get it.
It's Brandon's high school.
This is your high school brandon why did my mom
sent you no no no your gift's in the mail i you your gift is in the mail no no no i got that boy
i got your gift in italy on amazon while i was in it nice so it's not from italy uh no i think it's from china china fights don't know you're oh yeah
and i love too much point that's that's yeah one of my favorite sayings it's too much point is it
what what what am i doing brandon what what's you got a gift and you put it on is this is this not
okay this is i'm i'm pleased to see you wearing that shirt.
Is there something I'm not aware of?
I'll take it off.
I want you to wear it.
I want you to wear it.
I want you to look good in it.
I know I don't want to be shit on for picking on you too much.
Not my idea.
I got a call from Mama,
and she was like,
you know what would be real funny
if I sent you Brandon's high school's merch
and we don't give him any.
Oh.
She is a true yakker.
Why is she coming up with bits?
You have no...
I have multiple packages
up in the anus room from her.
Oh, you don't?
I do.
I have another one.
I have a couple more.
Brandon's mom's in your anus?
Multiple packages.
Yeah, she's handling...
Yeah.
My mom doesn't have...
No, okay.
Stop.
Brandon's mom has multiple packages in Nixon. My mom doesn't have, no, okay. Stop. Brandon's mom has multiple packages in Nixon.
My mom doesn't have a penis.
Yeah, but she has fingers, ten of them.
A finger's not a package.
You forgot other things could go in the ass other than penis.
Yeah.
Plenty of things you can say.
A tongue?
Would penis be the number one answer if Steve Harvey said things that go in an ass?
Ooh. Ooh. Toilet paper. That doesn't go in an Harvey said things that go in an ass?
Toilet paper.
It goes on an ass.
That can go in an ass.
Toilet paper rarely goes in an ass.
I'm pushing.
Wait, wait.
I think it should.
Doctor's thumb.
Yeah.
Cameras.
Is it the thumb he uses?
I always thought it was a point.
He uses these two?
I don't know.
I haven't had these four. I think these four.
Yeah.
Did you check and see if there's a 2X?
Nope.
There's Miss Peaches.
Hey.
Miss Peaches.
Miss Peaches is a fucking A-list celebrity.
Yeah. She knows it.
She has a little bit of an attitude.
Being out with Miss Peaches in Arizona, it's crazy.
She's actually, it's like the, what is it, SAT,
where you're like this to that, that to that.
What is that called?
Analogy.
Yeah.
We tried to have her on Mostly Sports, and she was in a meeting.
Was she in a meeting?
Yeah.
With who?
Dave to Nate.
Miss Peaches to Dave.
Yes.
Ms. Peaches is stealing Dave's glitter.
Yes.
Dave has no glitter with Ms. Peaches around.
Oh, she's outshining him.
But I will say this.
Does Ms. Peaches need Dave?
Like, let's say we get a camera guy.
We get a new leash.
He goes and walks around the street.
I think the voice.
Are people like, that's Miss Peaches?
Oh, yes.
I think people would know it's Miss Peaches.
Yeah.
I don't think so.
Dude.
If she went out with a different person that wasn't Dave.
Different person, not the peach-colored leash.
You would just think that was a pit bull.
I would think so.
So I think Miss Peaches really needs Dave.
Danny Hurley was on the precipice of winning a national title,
and he and his family asked to see Miss Peaches on Sunday night. He knew it was. Peaches really needs to date. Danny Hurley was on the precipice of winning a national title, and he and his family asked to see Ms. Peaches on Sunday night.
He knew it was Ms. Peaches.
Okay, but all right.
So do you understand that the celebrity of this dog is insane?
If that dog were out there in public.
We're not arguing that.
The dog has a million Instagram followers.
I think people would know it's Ms. Peaches.
I don't think they would.
I think they would.
Oh, you are arguing that.
I don't think they would. Without Dave attached would. Oh, you are arguing that. I don't think they would.
Without Dave attached to her, if she were attached to somebody else,
a random person in the office.
Oh, I disagree.
I tend to lead with Brandon.
I think there would be some diehards,
but I think most people on the street are not stopping for her.
There's a lot of dogs that look like her.
There was a woman who wrote an entire book.
She wrote a book, an actual book, handwritten book.
Because that's Dave's dog.
And being like her, it was a resume to be Miss Peach's dog watcher.
Because that's Dave's dog.
I think environment helps.
Like, Big Cat, when you came up to us at the Cubs game,
nobody came up to you because there's no way Big Cat would be sitting that far away at a Cubs game.
True.
Okay, what breed is it?
Pull up other dogs of the same breed.
I don't know.
She's got a unique look.
Point her out.
She's a pit bull mix.
But she's peach.
She does have peach color.
Oh, does she?
Yeah.
That's a differentiator.
Is that how she got her name?
Yeah, Ms. Peach is her name.
That checks out.
Dave's very upset about Mr. Pear.
Who's Mr. Pear?
It's our turtle we're going to buy.
Is he cute?
We've got him.
Mr. Pear.
Mr. Pear.
Oh, he's going to.
Tell me, Jack.
I hate that.
Oh, yeah.
He's mad about it.
We're going to have him do gambling picks on Friday PMTs in the fall.
He's going to be big.
We just have him do picks while we're talking.
So some weeks he might not do a pic.
He just doesn't get there.
Mr. Pam.
Oh no, Mr. Pam.
We actually mocked up just the exact same sweatshirts too.
Literally just greens.
Are you adopting the turtle?
I think so.
Memes is, yeah.
Are there turtle rescues?
I don't know, but I want it very clear that if there are,
they're not getting any of the money from the proceeds.
Anything we sell, we keep it.
I think any turtle you take in, you're rescuing.
Even if you're rescuing it from an aquarium or wherever you're rescuing it.
Yeah, because in the wild, they'll only live for like 200 years.
Thank God you're putting them in a tank.
Yeah, everyone's nervous about it.
They're like, this turtle's going to outlive all of you.
Yeah.
But this piece is a start. Yeah, everyone's nervous about it. They're like this turtle's going to outlive all of you. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But Miz Peaches is a star. Arizona's good. We were just
I don't, Final Four is kind of boring.
Really? Well, it's just
there's like, it's not like the Super Bowl
where there's a bunch of people there to like
do podcasts and like do stuff.
It's like a bunch of
coaches and like Rico Bosco's chasing
them around. Okay. You know what I mean?
That was a tough pick from Rico.
Oh, Bosco belly.
Was that real?
Yeah.
But was it like exhaling or was there some sort of like, did he just recently drown?
I think, yeah.
He's got some type of disease.
Yeah.
Inflammation.
You always hear about those pictures.
Look at that.
A doctor noticed this picture and saved my life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Rico's actually pregnant. oh oh man uh it's kind of cute though that type of round
pot belly it fits him yeah yeah it fits his aura we look like with those microphones we look like
we were grant cardone yeah yeah you see he's going viral again. No. What's he up to? He's getting blasted for his no interest clip.
No interest is still interest.
I don't know.
He's getting blasted for that.
That's a good take.
No.
Is that like.
No.
Is that rapey?
No.
It's not even that.
It just literally makes no sense.
Are we talking financial interest?
Wait.
What type of interest are we talking?
I don't know.
Interest in something.
See?
Oh.
Yeah, and the problem is he's explaining it to Jordan Belfort,
and Jordan Belfort's like, that's stupid.
Like one of the biggest crooks ever.
Oh, yeah.
He's like, you make no sense.
What point was he trying to make?
Here we go.
What a pile of crap.
I'm coming to San Antonio, man.
Give me five minutes.
This is before anybody knew who I was, right?
No books, no kind of notoriety.
So they're like, no, no, don't come by.
But see, that was interest.
To me, that's interest.
Yeah.
No, no, I'm not interested.
Not interested is.
So not interested to you is interest.
Well, it is.
It says not interested.
What?
Not is an adjective to describe interest.
Okay.
So it's a level of interest.
So if someone says they're not interested.
On a scale from zero to ten, what interest level do you have?
None.
That is a level.
One, two, three, four, five.
You with me?
A few minutes ago, he didn't know me.
He's not with him at all.
This chick's really into me.
I wouldn't do that.
I disagree with that.
But I must say, reasonable minds can differ.
That's crazy.
I love that clip.
That's absurd.
Yeah.
It's in interest.
Yeah, it's the lowest level of interest.
He's just made a world where you can't say no to him.
Holy shit, I think I just convinced myself.
Yeah, I agree with him.
There's nothing you can say no to.
Not interested.
That's level zero. Will you come to this him. There's nothing you can say no to. Not interested. That's level zero.
Will you come to this?
No.
Well, you might come to it.
That's a level of not coming.
It seems like I'm turning it right now.
He's right.
He's right, yeah.
Grant's right.
Yeah.
Everyone has a level of interest.
You disagree, Brandon?
Why are you being so mum?
I'm not being mum.
I agree.
Because you're mama the interest is
you gotta get low interest
oh boy
you really won't
let me see if there's a 2XL
oh yeah there is
he's upset
well don't just leave
don't just leave him on the floor
that's the thing
no I want one
is there an XL
it's a 2XL
yeah
I don't want it.
Yeah, you do.
Yes, you do.
Yeah, you do.
Put it on.
Put it on.
I can't cover this.
Too much point.
Brandon must have played for them, right?
Okay.
Brandon, if they have no point, that's still points.
We're the best high school program in the history of Mississippi.
Brandon Bottom, they won the state championship, and Brandon Bottom rings.
$10,000. No way. I chipped in. That's very generous Brandon Bottom rings. $10,000.
No way.
I chipped in.
That's very generous of you guys.
$12,000, yeah.
Very generous of both you guys.
I would say it was more generous of me
because I have no connection to it.
It's certainly more generous of you.
But that was very nice of you, Brandon.
Have you seen the rings?
No, no.
Do you know what's being named after you yet?
I don't.
I think something in the weight room, which is hilarious.
Yeah.
The weight room, not the waiting room of like a local facility.
What about a water fountain?
Water fountain.
I feel like, I got to be honest, I kind of feel like you're getting jobbed a bit there.
With the weight room?
What do you think I should get?
Well, no, if you're getting the full weight room, that's great.
I'm not getting the full weight room.
So that's kind of, I don't know.
I mean, I feel like 10 grand in Mississippi should get you a weight room.
Well, $10,000 in Mississippi is still $10,000.
That's a good amount of money.
You should get the cafeteria.
The dining hall.
That would be cool.
I think I'd take the cafeteria.
Brandon Walker Feeding Center.
I think I would take the high school cafeteria.
Wait, so they were, I'm sure there were no real negotiations,
but they came to you, they're like, we'll give you the squat rack?
No, but back the last time they won it, they asked if I could help a little bit, just a
little bit.
And this time I was able to help more, and I said, hey, I'd like to help.
And I ended up landing at $10,000.
That's what they needed from me.
$10,000 for like a rinky-dink high school?
No, they actually cost about $35,000 to $40,000 because there's 110 kids on the team.
But a donation for anything.
That's sizable.
Yeah, but it's my high school.
I love them.
So I took care of it.
Yeah.
I'll probably never give a dollar back to my high school.
Do they win state championships?
No.
Okay.
There you go.
Yeah.
Point City.
Mm-hmm.
That's sick.
I would if there was something named after.
You're buying something to be named after you.
No.
It's a purchase.
I'm just doing it.
I have no interest.
They threw in that they would name something.
Can I get at least a squat rack?
We'll get you a squat rack.
What do you think you're going to do that gets your name taken off that wall?
Oh, a lot of stuff.
We could probably find something right now.
I haven't got my name on the wall. Don't try to take
it off. We definitely need you. You don't
have your name on like a brick anywhere?
The only place. Through a minority's window.
Regards from BFW.
Yeah, my name's on a brick.
No, that's fine.
Did you go to Peter's Dome?
No.
What's Peter's Dome?
St. Peter's Basilica?
The Vatican.
Didn't make it to the Vatican.
I spent most of my time in Florence.
Yeah, St. Peter's buried there. Petersburg have any linguine any squid ink
no no
any ravioli I don't know if I did anything
cannoli yeah I just I ripped cigs in front of
you did go to the Coliseum yeah I didn't
tour it though I just walked there
no desire
for tours
I went there and I went
to the Wikipedia of the Coliseum
and just walked around.
Do you have to have a tour to be able to go in?
Yes, but I didn't care.
Those are overrated.
The minimum length of the tour was three and a half hours.
That's the worst.
I've become a big tour guy
later in life.
I went to Italy this summer.
I toured the Vatican.
I toured the Colosseum.
Pantheon?
Didn't do the Pantheon.
Okay, I did.
I just went and saw it, though.
Wait, no, I saw the Pantheon.
I just didn't tour it.
Is that a real place?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's right next to a great gelato shop.
Did you take my gelato advice?
The second you did, yes.
I mixed two competing flavors.
I got kiwi and a chocolate.
Yes.
And it was, yeah.
You probably got a Malfi lemon and took pucker breaks.
Yeah, I had to go hold my puckers.
I had to go to the bathroom and pucker.
When I went to the Coliseum, I learned my favorite fun fact that I was trying to set myself up for earlier.
The arena.
Everyone knows what an arena is.
That is what the sand at the Coliseum was called.
That was the kind of sand.
That is a fun fact.
Arena sand.
And that's how we got all arenas.
I just looked at it.
And that was enough.
Because then when I learn about it now, it's like, okay, i've seen it like that's just seeing it for me that's all
yeah they also they used to do they had poop sponges that's oh that is fun yeah in the in the
public bathrooms they just had a sponge and they just fucking wipe your ass our community sponge
yeah you wipe your ass some people if you if you had money you bring your own sponge in
but uh a lot of people just have to share sponges.
Here's the boy.
Will.
Willie.
How we doing?
Good.
What's up?
Sit down.
Take a seat.
How's everything?
Good, man.
Would you ever donate?
Have you donated to your high school's football team?
No, not really. Yeah.
Not really, no.
Brandon did.
10K.
Yeah. $10,000? That's really cheap out of no. Brandon did. $10,000. Yeah.
$10,000?
That's really cheap out of you.
You should donate to your house.
I've done something before, but it wasn't nothing big.
And this was a long time ago.
You don't want to take care of the next generation.
But also, you were asked, right?
You didn't just give it up.
No, I volunteered.
I do want to take care of it.
But he said at the beginning of the season,
if they win the state championship, I will buy the ring.
Okay.
It was a Scott's Tots situation.
Well, that's actually, with the mini golf going on right now we also we had tate had volunteered if he wins the mini golf he's gonna buy pizza for his elementary school
that was very nice that was nice of him yeah so you're 10 000 contingent on winning the state
title they already won it and I've already paid it.
Nice.
What should he get named after him?
For 10K.
10K donation to ranks.
The basketball gym.
The whole gym? Wow.
He's getting a part of the weight room.
I don't think I can get the whole gym.
A part of the weight room?
Like the dumbbell section?
He's getting a mat.
I'm going to ask.
I'm going to ask what's getting named after him.
He's getting the yoga mat.
He gave $2,000.
To your high school?
No, to my high school.
Oh, to his?
Yeah.
Yo, you've got to –
I've got to get something cool, right?
One squat rack for Brandon Walker, and then you get the entire, like, dumbbell rack.
Why does he get the whole dumbbell?
We've got a good weight room.
Oh, that's a good weight room.
Wow.
You should get a –
What else could WP stand for?
Big Cat.
Actually, you know what?
Can I do this?
Can we throw this out there?
What if I got – what if I bought a TV and we put it in the corner
and it was just always on the yak?
Oh, get our numbers up.
One more.
That's why he's the best.
That's why he's the best.
That's why he's the best.
I was about to say something way worse.
I was going to say, Big Cat, you should just get two 45-pound plates just named.
Oh, that's cool.
Our school isn't really Yak fans.
Yeah, but we will make them Yak fans.
I doubt it.
Literally, no one can tell.
We'll put the TV behind that glass that the Mona Lisa is behind
so no one can ever change the channel.
Yeah.
It's just the Yak.
It's the expensive glass.
All right. Whatever y'all want
to do i'm gonna see i'm asking what they're gonna name after me is that what you just texted just
blatantly that yeah what are you gonna name after me who'd you send that to the athletic director
the ad uh-huh there you go it's got to be something between a squat rack and the entire
gym i mean the gym.
Cafeteria sounded good.
That sounds awesome.
The Brandon Walker cafeteria.
I think the cafeteria is bigger than the gym.
I think that's going to... The cafeteria gets more eyeballs.
No, but like...
More conversation at the table.
Oh, the auditorium is the best.
There's more visitors to the gym.
That's when people start calling it the Brando, you know?
Oh, yeah.
What about where all the smokers like the smokers alley
i don't think goth i don't think they have those and we don't really have goth kids either the
brown walker that gets bullied out of them pretty early but the studio what studio do you guys have
a studio almost certainly not um like a do like the we have a Yeah. The Brandon Walker ISS room.
Yeah.
ISS sucks. Oh, what about like a detention room?
Right.
Yeah.
That's not.
I don't think that's just a room.
ISS is what that's in.
What about the teacher's lounge?
Oh, yeah.
You are a teacher.
I don't want to sponsor the teachers.
I want this to be students.
What about a computer lab?
Nah.
Bunsen burner.
The Brandon Walker restroom. I don't want a bathroom i would take a toilet
yeah would i get all of them there's a plaque on the toilet no it's gotta be it's gotta be your
your face is painted on yeah just looking at the kid taking a shit yeah the blumpkin
it'll be the blumpkin big cat blumpkin
what yeah there'll be a flashlight that someone...
Now we're...
We're getting into deep water here.
Got their high schoolers.
The seniors.
A, the seniors.
It's the seniors only flashlight.
Adult swim at the pool.
They pass it down everywhere.
It's got a fucking chain to the wall
I have a fake ID so I can fuck it
What?
Willie, how you doing?
Good, man
Seven under right now
Yeah, so we should talk about it
We can talk about it
Hopefully everyone's been watching
I think they're about to announce the tee times
For the second round.
Brandon, you got screwed this morning.
Yeah, I got real screwed.
Did you get narked on?
Tate snitched on me.
I got here at 6, and I went out there, and I was just hitting multiple balls
on a hole, and he tweeted out that I was doing it,
and Hank docked me two strokes, even though that's what a practice round is.
Well, no, you can't.
Yeah, you can't.
You can't hit multiple. That's what a practice round is. Well, no, you can't. Yeah, you can. You can't hit multiple.
That's what a practice round is.
No, I did a practice round.
I played every hole once.
Well, you didn't do a practice round.
You just did a round.
I almost tried.
Like, I knocked one off in my practice round,
so I was about to put one down and do it again,
and Hank's just yelling from the rafters,
you better not hit that.
Whoa.
That's really stupid.
Look at that.
If we're doing a practice round, let's do a practice round.
Either way, it's been awesome.
Yeah. It's been a fun time. Either way, it's been awesome. Yeah.
It's been a fun time.
Yeah, I'm going to miss the cut by a stroke.
Yeah, that sucks because –
Are you?
That's where you at.
I fought back to even par.
We're all having so much fun playing mini-golfs.
I'm in the mist.
I'm right around the cut line.
Yeah.
I think I'm like five under maybe, six under, something like that.
Where are you right there?
I'm three under.
Okay.
You're on the cut line.
Yeah.
You'll need a big round.
But it's a cumulative so
yeah i'm out of the money i don't know brandon do you feel like you got robbed because all of
us had an equal chance to win this money and now you didn't i just think hank who made the decision
six hank made the decision that i got docked two strokes and hank is in the competition i don't
know that he should have that um like he's gonna be around the cut line what if i don't what if i
don't make the cut because i don't know that's a fair gripe he is in the competition how is he docking me two
strokes for and i'm not the only person that took multiple shots on on holes out there everybody did
i shot a six on the dude wipes hole oh no meld down sydney what cut mean i don't know there was
an error the computer just like doesn't work her name, and none of her graphics work nothing.
What?
Really?
Yeah.
So what did she shoot?
Beats me.
I wasn't paying attention.
Yeah, how's it been from the booth?
It's been fun.
It's been some good moments.
Frank.
It's the only thing more fun than playing mini golf for work is talking about it.
Yeah.
And with no chance to win money.
No pressure.
Really a perfect day.
A few rough pressure.
Dave, Whitney's shooting a 15 is crazy.
He's so good.
Especially with how much he complained about Jerry, too.
He was trying to get you two out of there.
He was claiming he wasn't going to play.
They're not your boys.
It's crazy.
Does Pete live out here?
No.
I feel like every time he's here.
Do you not see him in New York?
Yeah.
I guess now that I'm thinking about it, I sure do.
Pete had a real bad look in Arizona.
He was like a white polo tucked in, looked like a cop with the cop glasses.
Just disgusting.
It always shocks me.
Pete, in my head, is probably the oldest person in this company.
Yeah, and I think I'm –
You're the same age.
I think we're the same.
I think he's one year older than me.
That's it?
I actually thought he was one year younger than you.
He might be.
That might be it.
Oh, fuck.
He might be the same age.
How old are you, Dan?
No, I take that as a good compliment because you seem younger.
A lot more vivacious than he is.
Yeah, he's a loser.
Yeah, he seems dead inside.
He was never vivacious.
No, he had that one picture of him in the boat that he like.
I think it's his profile pic.
Yeah.
The one time he had fun.
That's what he did.
Go to his profile pic.
It's the only time he's ever had fun.
The most misleading thing ever. it's like seeing so it's like seeing someone on like hinge and then they're like 500 pounds i
think he only did that event for a profile picture yeah thank god i got that out of the way that
fun ever had fun except for that moment look at that's the most misleading thing in the world
i love that he has cartoon bangs, just three hairs.
He looks like fun guy number three in a movie.
Yeah.
Look at these shades.
That is the opposite.
That is so misleading.
Holy shit.
I'm Jack Siocca.
You look at that and you're like, I'm excited to work for that guy.
What is him?
I'm Jack Siocca.
I got to get him in here.
Oh, his bio.
Ben and Boren? Ben and Boren. I got to get him in here. Oh, his bio. Ben Important?
Ben Important.
Never been accused of caring too much.
What the fuck kind of bio?
Six time million dollar.
That's a crazy bio.
Oh my God.
I'm Jax Yoko.
Ben Important.
What is his online persona?
Six time million dollar pay-per-view.
Ben Important.
Jax Yoko?
Hey, come into the act real quick.
Because we have questions.
Are you taking a shit?
Why?
Are you taking a shit?
That was a bathroom stall echo.
Why?
Are you taking a shit?
All right, come into the act.
No.
No, I'm not shitting.
Come under the act.
Why?
He's probably getting a blumpkin.
I bet you he loves them.
Imagine if Pete could only shit with a flashlight.
You can only shit when you're hard.
Yeah, this one's also misleading.
That's not him.
No.
I can't imagine having fun.
His Twitter header photo matches his personality.
What's that one?
The top, the banner photo matches his personality perfectly.
So we just need to get his profile picture to look more like that.
We need to get him to change his profile picture to that shade of gray.
Get in here, Pete.
Pete would get a Blumpkin for time efficiency purposes, not for enjoying it.
No.
Let's bang this out.
Just the analytics of it.
That's how you have to sell a Blumpkin.
It's practical.
Hey, isn't that a guy?
I think that's what you should do.
Pete, sit right there.
Like a profile photo and a banner for every personality.
Oh, that's a good idea.
That represents who they are.
That's a real good idea.
He walks so slow.
Hey, Pete.
Hey, Pete.
Hey, Pete.
Pete, how old are you?
40.
Okay, good.
So he is a year older than me.
Just a year older, yeah.
There's never been a more misleading profile picture
than your profile picture what are you talking about that's not you that's a fun guy you are
you look like an awesome guy there you're not awesome no i am no you aren't i am no you aren't
that guy now your cause playing yeah who is that that's. You used to have fun? Yeah, big time.
When was the last time you had fun?
That was it.
Yeah.
We thought so.
June 28, 2004.
Yeah.
That was the last time you had fun.
We're coming up on the 20-year anniversary.
We should do something.
20 years.
That's what I thought of 20 years Did you have a feeling that would be the last time?
I didn't know at the time
The last time your friends hung out
And you didn't know it
That was it
We'll do this again
20 years
The rest of your profile makes no sense.
What do you mean?
The bio.
I'm Jack's Yoko.
Yeah, that's an inside joke.
Is that Jill?
Wait, sorry.
Who are you?
You're like first things first.
Inside joke.
It's not an inside joke, I guess.
It's just a, it's like nobody's heard of it.
That's an inside joke.
No, it's from 30 Rock, but nobody.
Oh, wait, no, I'm a big 30 Rock fan.
I was going to say fights.
You remember Liz Lemon said that?
No, Emily Mortimer was Jack's girlfriend early in the season.
Yes.
And she's like, I still think it's funny, but she's like, you know how John Lennon didn't
know he was better than all the rest of the Beatles until he met Yoko Ono?
She's like, well, I'm Jack's Yoko.
And then Liz is like, you think that's a good thing, basically? Like being Jax Yoko.
All right.
I've done a complete 180.
Hold on.
Pete, I have a very big piece of news I need to share with you.
Okay.
June 28, 2004.
June 28, 2024.
I just looked.
It is Third Eye Blind Day.
We're all going to Third Eye Blind concert that day.
That's fun for you guys.
Will you come? No. Come on come on p that well first that's probably not the date that was a that was
a reasonable approximation of what you said come on uh i'm not gonna commit to that right now it's
in chicago i assume yeah yeah do you think you're capable of having fun again i am yeah i think so
i think i've seen him if i really remember the one time we went bowling in minneapolis yeah that
was had a couple beers remember that one time we did one it was like six years ago final four
weekend yeah it was a couple years bowling he had like maybe three beers wasn't that much fun saw
him laugh once that much fun he laughed yeah yeah What's a date you're looking forward to the most this year?
I just, I look forward to the 4th of July.
Hey, what's your, what, what was, what's your date that you're looking forward to?
I'm just, I have fun every day.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
I look forward to the 4th of July.
I think I could.
I think we could have fun.
We have had fun.
What would it take?
What would it take for you to have fun?
Look at that
that's no fun yeah well both sides of that is no fun jay makes me take a picture before we do all
kinds of stuff and finally i was like what do you do with all this stuff all these pictures of us
and he's like i just save them in my camera roll i have like a dozen pictures weird get them out
let's make a yeah let's see let's see them well no you You put one on your Instagram where you made it real blue
because it was too dark.
You did.
Yes.
Yeah, I have a bunch.
They're on the folder.
We've taken many pictures together.
It's like Stu Feiner.
Stu loves to just tweet out pictures from like seven years ago.
Brandon, I have a missed FaceTime call from your mom.
No, let's not do this.
We already did that.
We already did the mom content.
I bet she likes that.
My mom and sister need to chill the fuck out.
It's too much.
They love it.
Yeah, that one.
That's the strangest.
I'm glad that made the cut.
You have 12 and you picked.
That was eight weeks ago.
I love the caption.
That was stupid.
I love my job.
You look like you're about to die.
It looks like a sleep paralysis demon. Yeah, it looks like you're on hospice. This's what I look like now. He looks like a sleep paralysis demon.
Yeah, he looks like you're on hospice.
This is like if Frankenstein had a selfie cam.
Because I got Chase following me around asking for selfies all the time.
Whenever I see Pete, I have to get a picture with him.
It's like when Barry Bonds accidentally killed Willie Mays.
Remember that picture?
No.
I took a picture with Willie Mays with his eyes closed and was like,
I can't remember the caption, but it looked like he was in a coffin.
And Willie Mays is old.
Is he dead?
I think he's still going.
He's one of the ones. There is no way.
Hank Aaron died.
I think Willie Mays is still going.
I think Mays died, if I remember correctly.
He's got to be dead.
He's got to be.
I think he's going.
All right, I'm going with alive with Brandon.
I think he's got to be dead.
I'm going dead.
I think he's alive as well. I think he's got to be dead. I'm going dead.
I think he's alive as well.
There it is.
Yeah, look.
He put that picture out there.
That's a dead guy.
And you're the dead guy in a coffin?
No.
I remember when it happened.
It was one of the funniest fucking things. Oh, my God.
And Barry just looks great.
Everyone was just like, wait, did Willie make his eye?
He's alive.
He's alive.
Wow.
No way.
You're telling me that guy in the bed is currently alive.
What year is this from?
Yes, I sleep next to him.
Okay.
We didn't ask.
But that's a dead person.
Right.
They may not have reported his death, but there's no way that guy's alive.
All right.
Is that all?
Well, I want you to say you're going to come to Third Eye Blind.
In Chicago on June 28th?
You come to Chicago all the time.
I cannot believe I randomly made up a date that you guys are going to a fucking concert.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot you don't live here.
What if we offered to drug you?
Ooh.
You won't know.
What kind of drugs are we talking about?
You don't know.
We'll actually spin the wheel without you knowing.
Of to pick the drug?
Yeah.
It'd be acid, ecstasy, weed, ketamine, crocodile.
Yeah.
Can I can sum this up?
Crocodile was that Russian, there was gasoline and vodka.
It's like turning people into zombies, like zombies right yeah they would and then like
their fingers fall off yeah that was good stuff yeah i'm getting my hands on some uh sloppy flow
yeah you guys get into that what's that you guys don't know no oh never mind oh no you you you're
trying to play cool this dude's been important just made up a job oh yeah what are you talking
about he's i can't tell if you made up a drug or this is like a Michael Scott thing and someone told him a fake drug and you're like floppy fingers.
No, if you guys don't know, you don't want to get into it.
The fuck is floppy?
He's Michael Scotting us.
I don't know.
Oh, look.
How do we have that?
We have it.
What the fuck?
Why don't we already have it?
Yeah, all right.
Let's spin it.
Let's all do it.
Rohypnol is an option.
Nice.
I wouldn't mind just getting a meth font.
Meth?
Fuck yeah.
I know a guy.
Meth?
Yeah.
He's dead.
You done meth?
You'll love meth.
I think I would.
Yeah, meth's a font.
Yeah.
What is floppy flow?
I hear it's like the best.
Don't worry about it.
20 hours.
Don't you, like people love to beat off on you.
I go to the subreddit all the time.
They beat off to the dick as well.
The whole fucking night being off.
Yeah.
No, but it's like ultimate pleasure.
Yeah.
Sign me up.
Yeah.
What's floppy?
We all sit here.
It's a hat?
We all sit here.
Flo floppy is a hat.
It's not a drug. That's how you... You actedoppy is a hat. It's not a drug.
That's how you...
You acted like it was a drug.
That's how you meet the people.
You tip your hat.
You put your Floppy Flo hat on.
What year is this?
And you just...
Where's your Floppy Flo hat?
You don't...
I don't wear it to work.
I said, where is it?
Where is this?
The hotel room.
You keep it.
It's at your hotel.
You got to travel with it if you want to get on the road.
You brought it?
Yeah. How are you going to get Floppy Flo if you don't wear it? It's at your hotel. You got to travel with it if you want to get on the road. You brought it? Yeah.
How are you going to get floppy flow if you don't wear it?
That's a good point.
Is it like a Jeep wave?
Like you both?
Yeah.
Basically, that's what it is.
So you go out and it's just like, oh, I got you.
But you're at somebody else in the hat?
Yeah.
You got to find somebody else in the hat.
What is the hat named?
It's the floppy flow hat.
And you're also acquiring floppy flow?
And you use it to signal yet
But you have to be in the club. Yeah, I got in the club. Yeah
When's the last time you've used it?
pass oh
Wait, can we see what this looks like?
And how do you know if like somebody's selling or somebody's needing is it do you tilt your app or it's a little like a cigarette
Right. This is just like you walk around you got some cigarettes for you. You got something's a cigarette you give him a cigarette. It's just like a fun community floppy flow right floppy float
That's a fun community. Yeah
It's just a Yankees flat
That's a man on floppy floor right
Wapped out boy flopped out boy flopped
he's making me side with pete these things right yeah
oh
was that this morning no that's the old office the duality of me oh that is the old ones yeah
all right how do you think it's going pete i the yak or mini golf mini golf i think it's going
pretty well a lot of people i think once we get down to 16 and and you get a people like really
fighting for it i think it'll be good yeah yeah how'd you do i'm minus 10 how are you good at
everything yeah i'm not i i know that i i we've done mini golf three times every single time the
first round i've been in the top five and then i just blow it slowly dip from there really yeah
so i i'm not surprised by i would imagine i will not be after i'll make the cut but i won't be
doing in contention after that i think you never know i just i'm mental i'm a mental
pussy i i'll miss one that's just will spiral me you know like the like next play yeah i'm not a
next play guy i'm the last play guy just thinking about the last play like even today i hit one
hole in one immediately after double bogey it's like that's just yeah it takes someone but still
you started off i mean you were finished minus you started off fast too like you were you were like minus minus five in the first view yeah
whitney's really good yeah yeah he's been playing out of his mind so who do you think's gonna win
whitney you think so yeah all the guy does is golf kirk though oh yeah what about kirk isn't
he the favorite kirk he's gotta play with frank he's got like he's trying to keep composure while frank's keeping the same
groups yeah you keep the same groups in the cut yeah then you switch it yeah so he may because
it's cumulative so he may be wouldn't he may just be after two rounds being yeah but he had a couple
whole ones that he's not gonna be able to do that's true yeah and he got a he got a clean course
so he'll get out there after now everybody's been yeah it does kind of fuck it up yeah
this will be a little harder i hit a couple of the the ridges the ridges our group was me kyle
mook and uh mince and mince got up on a hole he said he said he hopes he hits a hole in one to go
viral yeah he's like a real camera what is he is he talking about? He's gone viral a lot. He goes, time to have a moment.
Time to go viral.
It was the last hole and he was plus three.
He also said that we should do on the party hole, the high noon party hole,
he said we should do it like TPC in Arizona, the Waste Manatees.
Yeah, he said put the people up there.
Put the people up there.
It'll go viral.
And he also had the Quigs when. Put the people up there. It'll go viral. Dude, when we were –
And he also had the Quigs.
When NC State clinched the Final Four, he's like,
have Quigs cut down one of the nets.
It will go viral.
Can we tweet?
What is up with him?
No, he only says literally viral.
Like, that's what he tweets, right?
The first time I heard him say it, we were with Sidney Wells.
We were in Louisiana.
We were fishing.
And just, like, quiet on the boat.
Mincy hadn't said anything the whole day, really We were fishing and just like quiet on the boat.
Mincy hadn't said anything the whole day. Really.
He was just kind of hiding in the corner and we finally like anchored and he
just stands up and goes,
y'all want me to do a viral cannonball?
Viral.
I was like,
what?
He also had the,
when Billy did his Fox news hit and he,
uh,
he was like,
we're living in a, Mincy was like, we're living in a simulation.
It's like, Mincy, your life is way crazier than Billy's.
He's just running for fucking literally viral.
Literally viral.
Not metaphorically.
It's literally viral.
Also, his mic today was inside of his ass.
It was.
Just the furthest thing down.
Did George Santos endorse Billy?
I can't find the tweet, people.
If he did it on Twitter, I can't find it.
I'm looking.
You guys saw the Jim Toes.
Toes is up to something, I heard.
Well, and also, Billy's running on Common Sense.
Jim Toes is running on Hardcore Common Sense.
Oh.
We got a big problem. Oh, yep. We got a big problem.
One-nothing.
Oh, shit.
We got a big problem.
Show planning.
If you reach back out to me, we can get him on.
Do we want Jim Toews on?
Do we want him on?
Yes.
Yeah, let me ask PFT just so I don't want to step on their stuff.
Step on.
You don't want to step on Toews.
I've heard a lot about in Billy's campaign
about how tough the GOP is
on Long Island, how they'll never let him run
really and all that stuff
and if that's the case
how did George Santos happen?
Good question
I also think Billy is like, it's the opposite
Billy is, what's the Manchurian candidate?
Nick?
Don't know Billy to me is the perfect like some big like secretive republican group is gonna like swoop
it and be like he's our next guy yeah like we can control him and they could probably like train him
to have like a word they say when he would he would assassinate right leader he can he can be
controlled and bought the best candidates billy has not this pandering oh so he did endorse him yeah wow
that's crazy that's big santos mike lapetri i didn't notice until like when billy was all
clean shaven and in his suit and tie and all that stuff,
how much he looks like kind of a Pixar villain.
Yeah.
We were breaking it down the other day, and he's got kind of like, it's not a strong jaw.
It's just a big jaw.
It's a big jaw.
It's just a lot of face.
It's got a lot of face. It's a lower face, yeah.
It's not like angular and chiseled or anything like that. It's just like it's beefy, and he's got a lot of face. He's got a lot of face. He's got a lower face, yeah. It's not like angular and chiseled or anything like that.
It's just like it's beefy, and he's got a little mouth,
and you're like, he is.
You're right.
You're damn right.
He looks like a Pixar villain.
His mouth is too small.
Tiny mouth.
Oh, it's wee.
I've always said Clemmer looks like a Pixar character
that would see the toys from Toy Story moving,
and he would be taking out the trash,
and then the bag would rip from the bottom.
Yeah.
He defies logic.
Look at those arms.
They're the size of the club.
It's crazy.
It looks like his club attached to it.
I just noticed.
I don't think you understand what the club is.
Oh!
Wait, you didn't? I didn't think you understand what the club is. Oh! Wait, you didn't?
I didn't notice that.
Clever is so shocking, you don't notice.
I didn't notice it either for a while.
You're fooling yourself.
What's he trying to do with those shoes?
Oh, don't.
Those are Green Bay Packers shoes.
He's trying to copy people.
Seattle Supersonics.
Oakland A's, 1984. Who's he trying to copy people. Seattle Supersonics. Oh. It was 1984.
Who's he trying to copy, Brandon?
Just trying to, you know, these guys around here, man.
They see people with nice shoes, nice cars.
They just fucking copy them.
Who copied the car?
Hmm?
Your car got copied?
Did you get one of these shirts?
Yeah.
Good.
Big Cat.
Brandon copied Big Cat's car.
And shoes. They go, that's a nice car car and then he was driving it like you told me to get one you said maybe like the model the model everything
same color word for word same same bar for bar same car same color brandon not same color oh okay
oh okay all right yeah mine's Yeah. My wife loves it.
She's happy.
Wait, did Mama call you back?
I thought we weren't going to do that.
We're not going to do it.
She sent me a text.
Oh, what'd she say?
The sister and mom content.
We've had enough of that.
I got my sister a job.
Is your mom angling for a job?
No, I'm on her car.
You got your mom a car?
Would your mom want to be my assistant?
Who?
Your mom?
No.
Why?
No.
She can't move up here because of all her dogs.
$200,000 a year.
Whoa.
She can't.
No.
She's too old to be yours.
How many dogs does she have?
She has currently five, I believe.
Wow.
Five.
That's not a crazy number.
One just died.
She had six.
One of them's yours.
That's crazy. That's crazy. No, it's hers. That dog's not. Five number She had six One of them was yours No it's hers
I think
If I walked into a house
I think fights
And it was six
Look it's not as many
I wouldn't ever want that many dogs
We always had between four and ten
You've had ten dogs?
Ten's insane
Five's still crazy Five's insane, but 5's still crazy.
5's crazy.
Billy Wayne and Peanut.
Anything over 3.
10's a shelter.
Oh, yeah, we were.
That's a full-on shelter.
Were they all outside?
3's where you give the comment, like, how many dogs do you have?
The cats were inside, a couple dogs were inside.
And 3 you can have if you have, like, one little one, one big one.
Brandon, were you just in the pound?
No, we lived.
My mama loves dogs.
And now Tommy's allergic.
I can't really do it at my house.
But yeah, we had a lot of dogs.
A lot of basset hounds.
I had a buddy when I was a kid who had like, I don't even know the number, but like 12 dogs.
And four cats and a rooster.
And they all hung out together.
It was awesome.
Wait, so when your dog got hit by the bus that you were on uh-huh how many more did you have at that time we were
really poor um we i think that means more dogs we had we had three to three or four more okay
we had katie zeke and yeah we had three more on. But he was our favorite dog at the time when Bo got killed by the bus
when I was in fourth grade.
You killed it?
He was on the bus.
I was on the bus.
I was sitting in the third row.
Oh, God.
And the driver drove over it.
You were sitting on the third row?
That's when it's back.
Brandon told us this a few months ago.
We're like, everything kind of makes sense.
Very traumatic.
It is a funny thing here, like talking to people long enough,
and then after you know them for years, they tell a story, you're like there it is yeah that's what okay everything makes sense
so it wasn't it wasn't the the dad in jail or the drugs it was the dog yeah and your mama whooped
him though she she went and handled that business really or whooped her yeah because the the bus driver said whose dog was that
and i raised my hand oh no like still on the bus i raised my hand slowly and she said well that's
too bad oh and my mama got home and said get in the fucking car and we went and found that bitch
no way did she stop actually the family is a wonderful family uh but but um do you remember like the sound
of what feeling i remember the feeling yeah you remember i remember him oh i remember him he was
walking away from the bus and i remember him turning oh and then uh she just rolled right
over him she didn't attempt to slow down or like casey anthony's a monster? Did it make you think about how Casey Anthony's a monster?
Do you understand that I was in fourth grade and Casey Anthony was?
It's a Blake Griffin tweet.
Oh, I'm sorry.
He ran over a squirrel.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Casey Anthony's hot.
Could you hunt?
No.
I tried.
The only time I killed one animal, my uncle Doug took me out with a.22 rifle
shooting snakes
and I shot a snake
and I hated the feeling
so I never shot another animal
do you kill the fish you catch?
I don't kill spiders
really?
really?
I won't kill any animal
I won't kill a fly
I'll kill a mosquito
if it's on me
that's it
wait what's the difference
between a fly and a mosquito?
fly is not going to bite you
mosquitoes hell
when they're flying you know
every time a fly lands it it throws up i thought i thought i heard yeah i thought it's fact that's
fact disgusting look it up google i thought it's shit that's not true i learned that in insectology
every time it lands every time it lands that's just not what does that mean look it up hey where
do you think when where did you take insectology?
Nebraska.
That's such a fucking joke.
I don't even think that's what it's called.
I bet Nebraska has some good insectology.
What was your major?
They can't take a bite out of our food
so they have to spit some enzyme
which dissolves the food along the...
Puke. So maybe not every time they land.
No.
They have to puke to eat. So it's not every time No so that No Will took a class It's when they land on food They have to puke to eat
They have to puke to eat
So it's not every time they land
Yeah
So the majority
No that's not
When they land on food
They're gonna eat
What's that say
I'm on the side I can't
You can
It's now that I'm hearing
It's ringing bells
Where like they
Thank you
But it's not on your
When they land
When they wanna eat
They basically have to like
Start dissolving the food
So they can suck it up.
And that vomit is like an acid that will melt it a bit.
Half credit?
Half credit.
Because you're right, it's not every time then.
But you've got to think, if they're landing on you thinking that they might eat,
they're a little enzyme coming out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're landing on your cock.
Did you guys have the Skeeter on my Peter song you sang at campfires when you were younger?
Oh, I think we've talked about that.
There's a Skeeter on my Peter flick it off?
Yeah.
I thought that was a normal song.
And we were like, that's weird.
Did you have that, Brandon?
We didn't have a Skeeter on my Peter song.
Did I have a tick?
That's the second verse.
For whatever reason, and this is going to sound... I had a tick. Yeah, that's the second verse.
For whatever reason, and this is going to sound... I had a tick on my dick.
This isn't an all-the-time thing, but for whatever reason,
I got out of the shower and I was stretching naked.
And I was stretching my hamstrings and I had seen below my piece that I had a tick.
Dude, I had that when we...
When was this?
It must have been covering the whole thing.
How old were you this was two three years ago that's horrifying how far below the piece like right below the head did you get it oh you had to pull it off dude it's scary i had
and then you learn about lyme disease after you're like damn if you tear it off too fast
dude yeah the head will get stuck.
Two summers ago, we were on vacation, and I took my son out of the bath, and I saw one
little thing under his armpit, and it was a tick, and I took it off, and then I started
looking.
He had like 10 of them on him.
Jesus.
What?
It's crazy.
Can't you do a match, blow it out, and then press the match to it?
Does that?
Yeah, there's some sort of burning.
They're not bad until they have the bullseye then then then you're fucked yeah so it's like if you see a bullseye that means they've in like gone into your skin ticks are fucked up
ticks are fucked up and then people are like oh what they need them for the deer population fuck
shut up they're only there to like like, fuck us up. Yeah.
Fucking bugs.
Brandon, how was WrestleMania?
It was amazing.
It was an amazing experience.
We sat in the 2K suite, and that 10-minute run at the end of the main event where it was John Cena came out, and then Seth Rollins' Shield music came out,
and then Undertaker came out.
It was the rock came out.
It was phenomenal.
For a second, did you think Dean Ambrose was coming out?
I did.
Everybody did.
It was 10 minutes of my entire 40 years of wrestling fandom.
It was phenomenal.
Oh, wow.
Is it the best WrestleMania?
I think it's the best one in a very long time,
and it is in the conversation for the best ever.
The first night was too cold, and it wasn't quite as good,
so going into the second night, they needed to save it,
and it was one of the best nights in the history of wrestling.
He completed the story arc.
He completed the story.
I think viewership's up like 41%.
They set records.
It was the biggest WrestleMania of all time.
We stayed down there right in the mix.
We were right across from WWE World,
and all the wrestlers were in the hotel across from us.
And it felt like millions
of people all the time it was great it was an awesome experience i'm happy for you thank you
were you kind of hoping stone cold would be in there and we were all hoping stone cold was there
and it was ended up being the undertaker which is a good which yeah i mean it's a good second yeah
we have talked about this before i guess i talk about three things. Yeah. We talked about it in September.
Former NFL draft prospects.
Dan, you don't have a Wikipedia?
No, I guess not.
That's crazy.
What is that next to Cates now?
Concentration camp Cates.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, God.
What the fuck?
Concentration camp Cates?
I have one follow-up question, Brandon.
Did you talk to titus at all
about the fact that there's rumors going around that the mostly sports crew is just not built for
it in general i've heard those what makes you say that we went out to wings on friday night yeah
and titus was like dominated the wings feel good and then he was sick for two days straight couldn't do the live
show with us well wings took him down what people get sick it happens that doesn't mean you're not
built for this shit we're all we're both mostly sports is built for this i don't know man a wing
date with the boys what's the last time tj missed anything down for the next 48 dude next 48 but
tj's yak that he's built for because he's family too. Yeah, but built him up. I'm on the yak.
Ty's is on the yak.
Good point.
Fuck.
Yeah, he couldn't do.
He was on our live show.
How many wings did he eat?
He killed Mark.
People are asking is Mostly Sports not built for this.
You asked that.
Other people were asking.
Was it like a tummy thing?
Yeah, he said he shit like 12 times on Saturday.
We did our live show.
He was on it for like five minutes, then he just left.
He walked off camera and was throwing up within 10 seconds.
Yeah.
Wow.
He said he was throwing up.
He said he was on the floor in the bar at Scottsdale shitting and throwing up.
He was bragging about the wings.
He was like, I did it.
I had the wings.
He almost puked on Jeff D'Lo's mom.
How many did he eat?
Probably like 10.
I FaceTimed him.
10?
He looked like he'd been in war.
Where's the worst place you've had an emergency diarrhea?
The Atlanta Hawks-Miami Heat game about five years ago.
Yeah.
Eagles tailgate.
Oh, yeah.
Subway.
On the subway.
Who did Preakness?
They're on the subway.
I'm in the rare camp of people who would rather
really have to shit for an hour than really have to piss for an hour no i'm with you i work yeah
really having to piss sucks because you're so much worse you can reverse eat look at what you said
proud proud i have hair on my chest and then he almost. And then two fucking. Then he tapped out. Scroll back up.
Is that your plate over there?
No.
I hate wing snobs.
Enjoy it. I take one bite.
Yep.
And then I get a new one.
No, no, no.
And if I want more, I'll buy more.
You can't leave protein on a wing.
I bought them.
I can do whatever.
I'll get the meat.
I'm not fucking gnawing on 10.
No. What I'm saying is. Bullshit. I won'll get the meat. I'm not fucking gnawing on 10. No.
That's not what he's saying.
What I'm saying is bullshit.
I won't clean a bone.
And a guy like you?
I won't clean a bone.
That's not what he's saying, guys.
The reputation you have.
That's not what he's saying.
But you'll get shit on that.
I had a plate of like 30 wings there, and whoever was across the table had like four.
Bytes, you're a gnaw guy.
You can't say he's not built for this shit.
I'm not a gnaw guy.
You're not a gnaw guy? I can't say he's not built for this shit. I'm not a gnaw guy. You're not a gnaw guy?
I can't do...
I'm bad with textures.
When weird textures get in my mouth, I get very nauseous.
So I can't...
You have soft teeth.
I can't...
Is that what it is?
I thought you told me you had soft teeth.
I think you'd know.
I don't even know.
Is that a real thing?
Yeah.
I don't think I have it.
I thought you told me you had soft teeth.
I was born with no enamel. Oh, that was when you were sucking me off. My adult teeth have en thing? Yeah. I don't think I have it. I thought you told me you had soft teeth. I was born with no enamel.
Oh, that was when you were sucking me off.
My adult teeth have enamel.
Yeah.
What did your childhood teeth look like?
They got ripped out of my skull with wrenches.
What?
Yeah, dude.
Were you a prisoner of war?
I would just regularly have to go to the dentist, and they'd fucking...
Dude, he'd get over me.
It was a special dentist in Bridgewater, Mass., and he'd get over me, and he'd just have a
wrench or whatever, some clip.
And he was.
What?
A special dentist?
Yeah.
It wasn't a DDS.
It was some other kind.
I think it was a soft enamel, you told me.
Yeah.
Or the bad enamel.
That was.
They would just.
Basically, I would just eat until the tooth got infected, and they'd rip it out of my head.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, my God.
So, there's my dog got killed story.
I have the best couple bites, and I'll put them down.
I'll be, ooh, after 12 wings.
Why do I need to...
You want to see me suck on a bone?
The problem for Titus was this is a...
You're built for this.
You're built like that.
Yeah.
You don't finish your wings.
You don't polish them off. I would think if I saw you, built like that. Yeah. You don't finish your wings. You don't polish them off.
I would think if I saw you, I'd be, oh, he don't finish his wings.
I'm sorry I'm not an animal when I know my stomach is full.
The problem for Titus is this is a yearly tradition that we go out to wings.
Final four weekend.
Me, Titus, Stanford, Steve, BFT when he's around, Hank.
And it's been a running joke that he's not really built for it.
And then this was his best best showing and then he immediately
got sick
like this is his best showing by far
and he was done and nobody
else got sick no one else
I would I actually
I was like let's go back the next day because I loved
them so much
yeah
we're built mostly sports
I mean the show's too early?
Family.
Two days of March Madness killed you.
Who, me?
Yeah.
I was fine.
You got sick for like 10 days.
No, that's different.
I didn't know.
I was fine.
I mean, COVID and the flu both hit me at the same time.
You got COVID again?
Yeah.
I'll say yeah.
Brandon, I have a question about wrestlemania okay hey um how heartbreaking was it when you saw john cena's bald spot oh
i noticed that oh hey i didn't see this it's bad wait can you please play it i noticed it a couple
years ago just seeing the rock out there because he's older than Cena, but seeing The Rock and Cena in the ring together,
it's just like, man, Cena really lost you.
When he ran down to the ring.
Yes, dude.
Oh, no.
His run.
Man, he's over the hill.
Oh, no.
Yeah, dude.
It's bad.
Also, in a weird spot.
Like, it's not exactly centered.
And also, like, wrestling is the one profession, like, go bald.
Yeah. Right. He's not a wrestler. what is up with people not getting hair transplant yeah
rich people should have hair but isn't it as from my understanding with dave's hair transplant back
in the day you have to get balder before you can get the hair transplant no sure they can work with
that the only reason i and this is just pure speculation is because they're replacing the spot that you
know you need to grow hair and you don't know what else you're gonna lose unless you let it
go a little bit more oh oh no that's oh my god yeah you can fix that dude yeah what is that I
mean unless it's a steroids thing if you have real high t aren't don't you aren't you just
gonna go bald anyway is that true I think Will? I don't know. My T's
up right now, though.
I got tested not too long ago.
Yeah, what have you been doing? Squatting?
CJC 1295 and hip amorelin injections.
What is that?
Wait, wait, wait. He doesn't know.
Do you inject yourself?
Injections? You inject yourself?
Yeah. Where do you go? In the ass?
No, my thigh. How often? I'll go five the ass? No my thigh How often?
I'll go five days a week
And it's testosterone?
No it helps promote that stuff
It's not TRT
Because since we're still trying to have kids and stuff
They don't recommend you getting on TRT
So are you like sticking a needle in the vial
And you're like measuring it out yourself?
No I already have
It's all preloaded
Oh I hate this.
I still couldn't work up the nerve.
No, I wouldn't be able to do that.
Does that make you feel good?
Yeah, man.
I went from 280.
I've always had like lower T, like splitting around 300, and now I'm testing in the 900s.
What?
Oh, when you said 280, I was like, wait.
Yeah, you were never that big.
Is this doctor prescribed?
No, no, yeah.
Or you got a guy?
Yeah, I got a guy. All right. All right, we'll talk about it guys what what do you notice what's your libido like right now i you fuck i am you i am my my boy
looks like brock lesnar every morning really shit shit oh my god that's usually like the first sign
is like are you waking up with a morning wood?
If you're not, your T levels are low.
I wake up bricked up every morning.
You're probably pretty good then.
Every morning?
That's your first kind of tell.
Like 99% of them.
I'm al dente.
Where do you get this?
Airete.
Airete?
A-R-E-T-E in Nashville.
It's a physical shop.
Should we find some of this?
In the worst way.
In the worst way.
What are the side effects?
Greatness.
Bonus.
Hell yeah.
Bonus too hard.
We'll talk.
I'd like this.
I feel like i have low t
yeah this would help yeah i don't i'm i don't wake up bricked up but that's just because of
fear of my kids jumping in my bed so i think it's just gone out of my head now
dude that was can't have that yeah it was an issue for me in surviving when i almost slept
through the fucking challenge they had to come wake me up, and I had to lean over.
I was like, you guys are going to have to give me a couple minutes.
Really?
That happened to Jerry when he did the hole-in-one stream,
and everyone thought he was so injured he couldn't walk because he was laying in bed when he woke up.
And he was like, I just had a huge bone.
I just had to get rid of it.
Yeah, sleeping on camera is a dangerous game.
If I have just a thick enough comforter, it'll keep it down.
Winter time.
That's the only reason I sleep with a weighted blanket.
Who are these guys shooting around?
Taking some shots.
It really is crazy how much everything looks like a penis out there, huh?
All of them are dick-shaped.
Every single one.
That one in particular.
One of them in the middle towards the back over there. that one is the blizzard is all the ones that would
to the left one that guy's putting on right there that's
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Hey, do we have a name wheel we have to do on Friday?
It did get approved.
Oh, it did?
Yes.
We had to do Steven's.
Yes.
What is it again?
We shouldn't do it today just because we have the time constraint.
Oh, I said Friday.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
So it's going to be called do you have
enough body armor and it'll be a wheel
where two people are going to square off
and chug body armor the loser
gets slapped and then we're going to it's going to be a bracket
style so in the final people will be
pretty bloated we'll put like 20 minutes in between
each okay I like it
waterboarding what did I miss
tea times round two
fights oh wow first Waterboarding What did I miss? T-Times, round two, fights
Oh wow, up first
Looks like Brandon and Mook
Are up second
I'm at 230
Where are you, Will?
Oh, you're last
345, Will
How did these
Not that I care, I'm just curious
How do they find these times?
What do you mean?
Like, how do you decide that group six becomes group one?
I think they reversed it.
They didn't.
But they didn't because I was group six.
Chicago was behind us.
Oh, they reversed it, and then the five groups have to go last.
Oh, I see.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
And then there's one more round today tonight will be after the cut so there'll only be 16 with ties so we're all guaranteed to play the next round
right and then 16 with ties will start the third round tonight which will be great so it'll be
less people on the course you can watch every shot and And we set it up to I think it's going to be like
there will only be like two
so there will be four groups tonight
and I think we're going to do it so there's only two groups
on the course at one time. So it spaces
it out so everyone can
really watch. And then tomorrow
night will be the final round.
Who's all involved in the final round?
Whoever. Once you
make the cut, you play two more rounds.
But they'll change up the groups depending on score.
So like tonight's round or tonight's foursomes will be based on score.
So it's like the top four will go together and they'll go last like that.
And your score at no point will ever reset.
Once you make the cut, your score.
I think you should actually be docked two points for that for asking well y'all fucking do it you cheat me you fuck me every
other way just fuck me again you got screwed wait no floors reset no no okay i know for a fact there
were people who were taking everybody was doing it i know everybody was doing it tayton hank can
suck my fucking dick man it's only 22 000 what score do you have right now brandon uh i'm even par
should be but he was 10 under at one 10 over it's also i know it's like 11 000 yeah why i like to
work with real numbers i work like the epl where i do post-tax numbers i think it's probably more
oh oh well then that's a different story. Brandon should be way more mad.
Furious.
Tate's going to narc that to the IRS.
That's another spot, right?
Yeah, he'll tell.
Yeah.
Brandon, are you physically attending the Masters?
Oh, yeah.
I'm actually not.
No.
I gave my tickets away Thursday and Friday.
Wow.
But I left it open that I could go Saturday and Sunday,
but I'd rather not go.
Why?
I'm just not going to go.
Did you win the raffle, or is this a hard traveling?
I have Masters tickets every year,
and I got them for the first time last year,
and I tried to go, and I didn't get there.
And this year I was going to go,
and then WrestleMania came up, and this came up and i
would rather stay home than go to the masters so have you ever been no i want to go really bad but
i also this also is going to be probably the schedule every year now this will be right after
i think this we're going to do this masters week every week every year so you need wrestle me you
need some sort of way to get out of that branded content.
You should go, man. You should go. You never know when your last
date is going to be.
Pete's been waiting for
20 years.
You skip a weekend, it snowballs.
We offered to Third Eye Blind
and he said no. He'll come to that.
We should just drug him before he gets on the plane.
I'm 40.
I'll be 45 my next birthday.
Whoa.
And that's coming up.
Saturday.
What?
Whoa.
So you could be at the Masters on your birthday?
Yeah.
Wow.
Wait, we got to do something on Friday for that.
Yes, we should.
What if we chug some water and slap each other?
I don't want to do that.
Let's do a Brandon Walker appreciation day.
No, I don't want to do that. Oh. Yes. I don't want to do that either. Today's a Brandon Walker appreciation, Dan. No, I don't want to do that.
Oh.
I don't want to do that either.
Today's his five year.
Balupas?
Today's my five year, yeah.
Wait, today's your five year?
Yeah.
Did you play the video yesterday?
No.
Can we play it?
Come on.
I don't know.
What video?
Yesterday was the five year of that.
Today was the five year of the hiring.
Yeah.
They played that video.
I saw it.
No, we played it on the Yak, though.
We didn't. No, we got to play it. Yeah. They played that video. I saw it. No, we played it on the Yak, though. We didn't.
No, we got to play it.
Yeah.
And you got hired the very following day?
There's a massive competitor in the background, right?
No, but that's fine.
Dave blogged about it the next day, and then they called me on Barstool Radio.
Just play the audio.
That was what, like 10 years ago?
My five-year anniversary was 10 years ago?
I'm just saying you've aged pretty quickly.
No, he looks way better now.
Yeah, I know.
He looks younger.
You think so?
I know so.
Oh, yeah.
I was watching that video.
I remember how exciting it was, too, when you first came to the office.
Like this new guy, summer guy.
That wore off fast.
I don't think it did.
I think I did very well.
I love having you on.
Oh, wait.
What happened on Periscope?
What happened on periscope what happened on periscope somebody calls me a squid okay thank you very much bubby brister i
appreciate that fantastic a lot of people here i was used to an audience of 12 how many people
were on 1800 are you supposed to do a walks will oh is it 120? Three minutes. Three minutes. Oh, I see.
I see.
Barstool is out first.
Three minutes.
Frank's trying to break.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, man.
Tank.
He keeps his people in line.
Yeah.
Mikey Betts was late today, and Frank was livid.
Did you guys see the moment that Jenks called him a fuckface?
Called Frank a fuck face?
Yeah, he broke.
He broke for a second.
But then he got back.
Yeah.
And Frank doing the immaculate grid as the pace car.
That was unbelievable.
That was almost a bridge too far.
I mean, that was...
Just give him the attention, please.
No.
Immaculate grid time.
Yeah, but Jenks like forgot his bag and it was almost... Look at this. Just give him the attention, please. No. Immaculate grid time.
Yeah, but Jenks, like, forgot his bag, and it was almost.
Look at this.
It's the pace car of a NASCAR race.
Oh, my God.
Legend.
Jenks' only escape is when he's shitting, and then Frank did a phone a friend on the dozen while Jenks was shitting.
Can you imagine being that pace car driver?
Like, literally everyone else who sat in that seat,
it's been arguably the best day of their life.
And this guy can't stop.
He's not playing an internet game.
He's like, nah, I got to figure out
who hit 50 home runs and played for the Reds.
George Foster.
Frank, yeah, but that was crazy seeing Jenks.
And Mikey Betts probably loved it.
Oh, yeah.
Posted that.
Their whole relationship, all three of them, is so funny.
Frank's guys.
No, Frank was pissed this morning that Mikey was late,
but then he calmed down and he just was like, he'll be punished.
Mikey Betts broke a little bit today, too, on hole.
It wasn't a big break, but it was hole,
whatever the high noon hole is over here.
And Frank just fucking fired it off the course.
Yeah.
And he just kind of threw it.
He goes, Frank, what the fuck are we doing?
He's being his caddy.
Yeah, Frank screamed.
He's like, I've gone out of bounds nine times.
And I looked at Mikey Betts and he was like, five.
Drivers!
Yes.
Start your engines!
Is he getting booed?
I'm saying that.
Are those booed?
Yo.
Who's booing Tank? Very aggressive boo.
Wait a minute.
That was.
I didn't notice that when I watched it.
I didn't either.
That was in Martinsville, Virginia.
What do they have?
Were those standard?
Drivers!
Start!
That almost sounds like a soundboard.
That's a real boo.
Oh, that's an aggressive boo.
Good boos.
Oh, man.
Damn.
Someone really doesn't like to tank.
Boo!
He bought tickets to boo.
Yeah.
He was putting his whole body into that boo. Full body boo. Congrats to boo. Yeah. He was putting his whole body into that boo.
Full body boo.
Congrats to Kyle.
Yep.
For what?
Oh.
Oh, wow.
Yes.
That's well deserved.
Yes.
Well, well deserved.
Were you just drunk in that?
He's getting health insurance.
He's got security.
Yes.
Yeah.
Look at that black beard on Dan.
Yeah.
I think that might have been one of those years we did.
He did get gauged.
We had just for men as a sponsor.
Oh, here it comes.
You were so drunk.
I was.
Nothing else.
No.
I didn't say anything. Just booze.
Just a lot of booze.
Yeah.
I'm nervous for the second round.
I think this is when I'm going to choke.
I just got up here.
I wasn't, and then you said out of nervousness,
I got a real pit in my stomach.
I shook Hank's hand after.
He's like, why is your hand so wet?
I was like, because I'm fucking nervous.
Mini golf sucks.
I need more movement.
Yeah?
It's too idle.
Yeah, it gets too quiet.
Oh, you know what?
What kind of club have you guys been playing with?
The Blades.
The Blades.
I was using a mallet, and that fucked me a couple times.
Yeah.
You got to go with the Blade.
Also, I have the caddy controversy this morning,
Dave and Whitney just being the biggest babies ever.
If they watched, all Jerry has done is just right before I take a big shot,
he just goes, you have to make this.
That's the only thing he's done for me.
And then in the middle, I've heard him, hey, slow it down, slow it down.
And then I'll just stand right on the ball about to swing.
He goes, this is a must make.
That's good advice.
But it's not fucking nerve wracking.
If you follow his advice, you'll win.
And he also will just like, I'll stand in the tee box and he'll just be like, don't hit that, that, or that.
Blattman's my caddy and I feel like seven under.
I'm playing way better than I thought I ever would.
And after every hole, he's like, hey, for as bad as you've played, like you're in it.
Dude, I had Dante as my caddy.
He didn't show up until the 14th hole.
Y'all have caddies?
And then he actually did help on one.
He cleaned the ball for me, and that just made me feel nice, and I played well.
But then another one, he was like, it was a big putt, and he goes, dude, don't bogey this.
Rimmed right out.
I was like, as soon as you said that, there was no chance I was hitting that fucking putt.
Oh, man.
Yeah, Blutman, he's got the look.
Considering he played terribly.
Yeah, there it is.
Dude, Blutman's a bad man.
They said we won't win if we don't want to.
I think he's talking to you, Will.
He gives me advice every hole. What happened with Rico? we don't want to i think he's talking to you will he gives me advice every every hole
what happened with rico i don't know oh you're talking about his bump no but yeah rico rico had
a tough start right oh yeah he you stole he was like blotman from rico you offered him more money
yeah then we combined i said we could we could we'll both use him that was the thing that's like
how much is uh Rico giving you?
He's like 10%.
I said, I'll do 20.
Yeah.
Dave and Whitney could have offered Jerry.
Yeah.
We're not even doing a split.
Wait, you're giving him 100%, aren't you?
Yeah, that's not a split.
What has he helped you?
What was the highlight of?
Yeah.
Actually, no.
He has.
If I hit a bad shot,
I almost always will hit a bad shot right after,
and he makes me stop.
Stop hitting bad shots?
No, no.
Like, stop and take a breath.
Because, like, I'm the type of person who will hit a bad shot
and then just run up and just do it again.
Yeah.
Just be like, fuck!
100%.
He's helped with that a lot.
But, yeah.
Just every shot is... And his strategy makes no sense, too. If it's like a par. But yeah, just every shot is.
And his strategy makes no sense, too.
If it's like a par two and it's my second shot, he's like, you don't have to make this.
But then if it's a par four and it's my third shot, he's like, you have to make this.
Interesting strategy.
Yeah.
It should be fun, though.
Yeah.
It's going to get intense.
Yeah, it'll get intense.
Kirk is going to.
Kirk is not like.
I think he's just laying in the weeds because he'll – and I don't think the rules guy is interesting.
What is his name?
Adam.
Do we have the leaderboard?
I know that Whitney's on top.
I don't know what's behind it.
We can look at it again.
Yeah.
It's actually a lot of really good scores, so I'm not like –
even at minus 10, I feel like I have to –
15 unders is unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
Francis, Marty.
Marty, look at him.
Yeah, Marty was going.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, I didn't realize Marty up there.
So seven is like the cut line is six.
Yeah.
Which is crazy.
I got to play well.
Che, you got to.
You picked it up.
Although you hit Che head up.
I had a good run.
I had one really bad one.
Dave had a minus three.
Dave was talking about quitting.
He was struggling.
Are we talking about minus three as if it's good or bad?
Bad.
I guess bad.
Outline is minus six.
Yeah, Dave was saying that he just might go home
because he's like, I'm not going to win.
Has he been in it in the past ones?
Has he been out?
He's been out. I think he missed the cut in the first one has he been oh he's he's been out i think he's i
think he got missed the cut in the first one it's a song oh so this is his regular for yeah
the way you're talking about it was i might just go home makes me like he's surprised he's not
missing no i think he's not been he usually has some excuse i don't know what it is today
i think when we did the first look at that like our first ever mini golf thing
10 12 whatever many years ago that was like blind mike was in it oh yeah people i'm mike yeah that I think when we did the first, like our first ever mini golf thing, 10, 12,
whatever many years ago that was, like Blind Mike was in it.
Oh, yeah, he beat Blind Mike.
Yeah, that one he – that one – actually, I don't even know how he can find
that clip if he can, but that one where he's giving his wrap-up speech
as Blind Mike's still trying to finish 18 behind him.
Yeah.
And he's just – he like five putts it behind him.
Yeah.
He's like, all right, that was the mini golf, whatever we called it,
is unbelievable.
And then he also had the time when he played spike balls, him and Hank first, you and Blind Mike?
No, Dana.
And Blind Mike.
Dana, the girl.
Yeah, yeah.
And Blind Mike literally just couldn't see the ball.
Spike it and be like, all right, point for us.
Does Hank love mini golf or does he think that's the only game?
It's his number one content idea.
So it's like if you're sitting in a big meeting and it's like, all right, guys,
we've got to think of what's up next year, he'll just be like mini golf.
You know what I told them?
This would be an idea that interests you and you, I the i was like let's do a strongman like instead of combine
like with like comic large like fucking high noon cans and draft kings logos and stuff oh
that'd be really cool like magnus von magnuson yeah i was like with like the fucking axe the
stone the atlas stones like yeah the atlas i i i emailed them about they did not reply I was like with like the fucking axe, the stone. Yeah. The Atlas stones. Yeah, the Atlas stones.
I emailed them about that.
They did not reply.
I got to go walk with Frank, boys.
I got to walk with Frank.
Yeah, he's really on your ass.
Look at him.
You might get punished.
He's on your ass.
I wonder what Mikey Betts' punishment is.
Probably can't use the bathroom.
That's what they get awarded with.
Oh, yeah.
Five-minute bathroom breaks. He's gonna wipe jenks for every 20 hours of service you get a five minute bathroom
break you got kirk and riggs going out there looking around at stuff yeah i think kirk is
gonna have a oh yeah kirk he's. He's going to get a nice round.
How's Riggsie doing?
Is Jake all cozy?
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, Jake.
Oh.
What?
What?
What?
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. Oh, there's Tank.
And Booze.
Come with me.
What did you get, Brandon?
You'll see.
Okay.
I was really drunk in Italy, and I bought it on Amazon.
I'm not smart with money.
Are you going to do more vacations?
No.
I'll do one a year.
That's good.
Yeah.
Yeah, it just felt really good.
What time were you eating dinners at, like 11?
Like 9.30.
9.30.
Yeah, I was getting out of there at like midnight.
That's awesome.
Some countries, they don't start the day until 2.
Yeah, like Spain?
Argentina.
Dude, I saw it.
Did you see that?
I saw that TikTok, yeah.
Nothing is opened until like the afternoon.
That rocks.
Kind of nice.
No one's a morning person.
Yeah, but it's one of those things like a siesta too where like it rocks for like a day or two.
And then you're like, well, I'd like to live a little bit.
Like siestas, I studied abroad in Spain.
And like they were great on days you were hungover.
And then other days you're like, well, I just I don't want to go home and nap right now it's two in the afternoon
i'd rather do shit but i like oh yeah i don't think i would like that like when things are open
here we're here like if we have to run to like the post officer or doctors we have to leave work
yeah yeah yeah if it was all adjusted that's okay because i i i've lived in my apartment in new york
for three years i still don't have blinds because they're like,
we come between 10 and 5.
I'm like, well, I have work, so I can't be here for that.
So I guess that's never get blinds.
Like, what am I supposed to do?
Take one day off?
But, like, also, I don't like.
I guess you're right. You'll never have blinds. I don't like planned days also, I don't like... I guess you're right.
You'll never have blinds.
I don't like planned days off.
I don't know.
I'm just like, I don't know.
I don't have blinds.
I wake up with the sun, and I have a big glare on my TV.
Yeah.
Oh, your house is...
You can't consume media there.
I think we watched the Conor McGregor fight there.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
Didn't see shit.
Wait, so are you just, like, jerking off in your bed with the blinds open?
I'll usually wait until night.
You can't do a midday.
Because I, like, look into, like, a courtyard,
and I can only, like, see, like, three apartments.
And I basically wait until they put their blinds down.
I got to jerk off on their schedule.
That's crazy.
You only jerk off at the same time as your neighbor yeah like whenever they say is when i can is when you're allowed to come yeah it kind of turns me on
all right what else we got steven uh oh did you see our slide shows with steven oh we
white socks dave has to do his slideshow. He owes us that.
Yes.
Nick, when you were gone, we did-
Did we finalize a date for that?
We did the Steven's dumb questions slideshows.
Everyone had to do a presentation.
Oh.
Yeah.
I like that.
They were very dumb questions.
What was mine?
What vegetable would you be?
What was yours?
Death cat mushroom.
Okay.
Kill someone. Okay. Kill someone.
Okay.
I'd be Radish.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
It's kind of cool.
And White Sox Dave didn't do it and then came in and said he did do it.
Yeah.
And then we got to him and just admitted that he had never done it.
We're just like, do you have a presentation?
He's like, yeah.
And then we're like, all right, it's time for you.
And he's like, I don't have one.
So he owes us one.
Big time.
Okay, so should we get ready for more mini golf?
High noon.
Oh, can someone do the high noon ad?
Yeah.
What's tomorrow on the act?
Anything?
No, we're just...
John, you'll be here.
I'll be here.
Yeah, we'll be here, so come back.
And then Friday, we'll do a Brandon Walker Appreciation Day
and Stephen's name.
Yeah.
And then Monday, we're doing the draft of the movie,
the film.
Oh, yeah.
Festival.
Yeah.
So do you know about all the things we're drafting?
We're drafting the genres, right?
Well, there's,
you build things.
Okay.
So you could take like one genre.
You can't,
so you have to be strategic.
We had this meeting
where we build all the things.
It's going to be really fun.
So like,
there has to be a specific scene you take.
So like,
fuck, if we take Western here, we might get stuck with sex scene.
Okay.
Oh, shit.
Do we get props?
Yes.
Let's go.
I would like to put in a request that I come to the red carpet.
Yeah, I think you're on vacation.
I can't be in any of the stuff.
I would like to come to the screen.
Yes, absolutely.
And Nicky Smokes texted me and said,
can I bring two hoes to the red carpet?
Bro, Nicky Smokes today, I was in a deep conversation,
not really, but with like Chaps and Trent.
We're just kind of in our own world talking.
Nicky Smokes like pushes people out of the way,
grabs me and goes, bro, what do you know about the human body? I was like what like nothing he's a weird one my right arm's been going numb you any idea what are you talking about why would you ever ask me that asking you that I was talking to
Hank this morning and Nikki smokes comes up and he said do either of you have Adderall and we were
like oh I was I, I think Frank does.
And,
and Hank hops right on.
He's like,
yeah,
Frank has 25 XRs.
And Nicky Smokes is like,
no fucking way.
Yes.
And he like dapped us both up and we watched him go ask Frank.
Just stared at him.
Mikey Betts had to turn him down.
Yeah.
So Frank just like divvied it off to Betts
and then Betts was like,
we don't have any.
If we did, we wouldn't do down. Yeah. So Frank just like divvied it off to Betts and then Betts was like, we don't have any. If we did, we wouldn't get it.
God damn.
All right.
Let's spin our wheel, TJ.
Then we'll, everyone tune in.
Oh, high noon.
Yeah.
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sun's up um yeah so tomorrow we'll do do it. Tomorrow we don't have any
mini golf after the act, so we can
do a longer yak. And then
Friday we'll do...
Can we pass on Brandon Walker appreciation? What do you want?
But you have to
say something. Are you interested
in Brandon Walker? I am interested
in it. I'm not 100%
guaranteed to be here Friday. So I might miss Brandon Walker? I am interested in it. I'm not 100% guaranteed to be here Friday.
For what?
So I might miss Brandon Walker Appreciation Day.
Wouldn't that be perfect?
That would make sense.
That actually is the perfect way to do it.
No, I'll be here.
I'll be here then.
And then if you don't come here,
we'll give your gifts to each other.
Yeah.
All right.
We'll figure it out.
All right, so everyone bring a gift
for Brandon Walker Appreciation Day.
Easy.
That sounds nice.
Do I have to bring one?
Yes.
Yeah, to give to yourself.
Yeah.
Buy something for yourself, man.
Treat yourself.
Treat yourself.
Do you like okra pie?
Love okra pie.
There's no such thing.
Okra pie?
Fried okra?
I like fried okra.
I got you.
In a pie form?
Yeah, I don't think there's ever been an okra pie.
Picture a pie crust.
Yeah.
And then put okra.
It's that simple.
All you have to do to picture a pie is do it.
Are we all just going to bring him food?
No, I got his gift.
I'm going to get him something special, but I don't know what.
Spin that wheel, TJ.
I'm going to get you something special.
Is there anything you've had your eye on that you just don't want to buy for yourself?
I don't.
Oh, my God.
Come on.
Whoa.
Oh, boy.
And reminder, I know people are yelling me.
We will spin the fart wheel every day until we get it, but we don't want to know what day we're going to get it.
It's going to hit.
Yeah, well, it has to hit because we're going to eliminate the non-fart wheels.
So, it will happen, but it has to happen naturally so people can't come planned with farts.
Yeah, it could happen tomorrow.
I'll bring one.
I'll just come.
I'll bring a couple.
I'll come loaded with farts every day.
I guess I kind of do every day.
Yeah.
I farted like three times on this show.
What?
I'm just letting them squeak.
I got it.
I don't know if I have one right now.
You do.
It's a bad omen for mini golf
if you can't even fart.
Cat, you have to.
How are you so good, Cat?
It's hot.
Walk on.
Let's get out of here. How are you so good at that? It's hard walking. How are you?
Let's get out of here.
It's the act. It's the act.
It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to talk shop.
We're doing Yankee swap.
It's the act.
It's the act. Hey, good to be back.
Have a great week, everybody.
Couple birthdays I missed. Frankie Buka's daughter, Bella.
Happy eighth birthday.
Hold on. Will Borgo and Megan Bailey. Happy birthday,
everybody. Love you. Bye.