The Yak - Arizona Brandon Looks Back On His Mississippi Youth | The Yak 2-8-23
Episode Date: February 8, 2023Rhamondre Stevenson? OklahomaYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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All right.
Yep.
We are live.
We've got the Yak Day 3 at the Scottsdale house.
Okay.
First of all, most of the talented people are going to play mini golf.
Okay?
So there's three of us here, but it's not going to be the only three.
KB and Roan are on the way.
They're in traffic.
They're in Uber on the way here.
Classic Arizona traffic.
Classic Arizona traffic, which wasn't really existing.
Secondly, Rudy is here.
Che is here.
Subbing in.
To start the show.
We'll start the show like that.
And we've got Spider milling around back here, too, and the boys.
So, yeah, so we'll start in a minute.
But KB and Ron will be here.
Yes, I had a $700 dinner last night.
A tasting menu.
An eight-course tasting menu.
Cafe Monarch.
Beautiful place.
What is eight courses?
There's how many appetizers?
There has to be, like, several rounds of that, right?
Well, it's not.
I don't know if you call them appetizers, se but it's just it's progressively bigger dishes okay
so what was the best and worst thing you had in this so the best was the new zealand venison
on a uh on on a bed of some good stuff and then they had some japanese wagyu on a bed of some
good stuff as well that was terrific yeah had a good time my wife's having fun out here yeah she
doesn't have kids out here.
It's good that you got the New Zealand venison.
Venison you said, right? I did.
Australian venison.
Way worse. Oh, really?
No.
He's joking.
My man doesn't know venison.
It's not a sausage?
No, it's deer.
Venison is deer. It could be sausage. Oh, okay, so you can turn the deer into a deer. It's deer. Venison is deer. What about... It could be sausage.
Oh, okay, so you can turn the deer into a sausage.
Correct, yeah.
Venison is deer meat.
I've only had deer jerky.
It's very lean.
I've only had deer jerky, and it was pretty good.
That's fantastic.
Can we talk to you about it for a second?
Yeah.
You went on Twitter today, and you said, oh, okay, look, look, I proved something.
And you put a picture up of a cell phone tower that had been turned into a cactus.
Of a news article.
Uh-huh.
With a photo.
That doesn't change the fact that that thing over there on top of that mountain is at least 200 feet tall.
And it's not even close to a cactus.
Maybe, maybe not.
I think we can agree that the two things are on the left.
No, and it's not maybe, maybe not.
It's definitely not a cactus. One of those, the two things on the left... Maybe, maybe not. It's definitely not a cactus.
The thing that's the biggest on the right looks green.
Rudy, would you...
You can't tell the colors from here.
It's miles away. You can't see that.
You cannot see that. That's five miles away.
They don't care about that looking like...
They only disguise them in residential neighborhoods.
They don't care about if that looks like a cactus.
Maybe they do, maybe they don't.
No, you can't say
when you're wrong, maybe they do, maybe they don't.
The only wrong you ever admit is,
well, maybe not.
No, you're wrong. That's not a thing that you said it was.
I was wrong last night.
I said John Brown was going to get 7-plus boards. I'm sorry, Rudy.
And he got 6.
I was wrong.
D'Angelo Russell, did that one hit?
D'Angelo Russell got ejected from the game in the third quarter.
I am quitting.
Last night was my first night doing Trusted Data, and it loses.
So I am, out of respect, going to quit.
I don't have a great record with Trusted Data, too.
Really?
I dart in sometimes.
I get them.
He gave me one parlay to hit one time.
It was like plus 380.
That worked.
I think we're the only ones that aren't making tons of money on this correct yeah but i didn't commit early enough like if i committed
it to ground floor i'd be doing it every day exactly but i i like i dip my toe in and then
my toe gets bit and i pull it back out and i don't know what to do okay yeah that's fine 2000 likes
on the stream and we'll release today i love today's but uh i actually like a lot of plays
today and i'll actually give all those out um Really? Maybe I can parlay those? You can. Yeah, I
did. There goes my toe again. Your toe's going to get bit, cuz. Yeah. So, yeah, Ron and KB
are on the way, right? Yeah. So wait. The show is still starting at 11. I don't know
what they did. This show, yes. Yeah, I can't speak to it. How come none of us are in the
mini-golf? Don't you think some of us are big enough stars where we should be there?
I don't think so.
I am, but you two, I would be embarrassed.
Well, not as much him.
I mean, some previous mini-golf champions might say that as the only decorated champion outside of, I guess, Jeff D'Lo and the company.
You won a mini-golf tournament in Florida.
This is against children.
You were 19 years old.
Against children.
When you were 19 years old against nine-year-olds.
It wasn't in Florida, first of all.
I thought it was.
It was on Jersey Shore?
Yeah.
Jersey Shore.
Okay, well, that's worse.
I feel like the Florida mini golf scene is better than the Jersey mini golf scene.
In the summer?
Yeah, 100%.
Florida, that is mini golf USA.
Florida talent comes up to escape the Florida heat and live at the...
That's not even kind of true.
There's no such thing as mini golf talent.
There's just kids that play it.
I was beating the best 12-year-old in the world.
No, you sound like...
You're not beating the best 12-year-olds in the world.
First of all, you said you beat a couple 9-year-olds.
You didn't even say 12.
I mean, there were several different ages.
Beating the best 12 year olds
in the world at mini golf is still beating
a 12 year old.
You're like the...
12 year olds? Right.
You're not. You are literally the bench warmers
mean where the guy pulls out a piece of paper and says,
I am 12.
Those are the best of boys.
That are probably pretty good at mini golf.
But they're still 12-year-old boys.
Oh, what's the argument?
12-year-old boys have been beaten.
His own.
So, I don't know what the argument is.
We were talking about the mini golf thing going today and how we're not playing.
He said he's the only mini golf champion in the company.
Outside of Jeff D'Lo.
Outside of Jeff D'Lo.
But you beat nine-year-olds. Last time you told the story, they were nine. I don't
know when they became 12. Schmitty is a mini-golf champion. Schmitty is? Schmitty is. Schmitty
won Hard Island. Schmitty does not have a trophy and said they wrote his name on a whiteboard,
which is literally the most erasable thing in the world. Okay. Did he win the event?
According to him, yes. I actually have proof that I won an event.
And Jeff D. Lowe also has proof that he won an event.
Schmitty has oral tradition.
I'm not questioning Schmitty's character.
Remember when you said you were the best Connect Four player in America and Schmitty beat you an hour later?
Schmitty.
Schmitty, I'm sorry.
You should lose. You never go undefeated in Connect Four, but you win series.
You do have a Connect Four board right there.
I know.
Set it up. Absolutely mopped the floor with fights and Jackie Nichols
in under 90 seconds yesterday.
Under 90 seconds. Sounds like a Mensa
gathering right there.
How did you ever?
Play is on your schedule.
What's up, Ron? What's up, brother?
How you doing? Don't you have to go to mini-golf?
They were trying to make me go early.
And I was like, bro, I want to yak with my boys.
Yeah, thank you.
They wanted me to sound check at mini golf.
Right.
What?
For sideline reporting.
What?
The mini golf thing, I was there yesterday for the rehearsal.
Hank was like, we need body.
I was like, sure, I'll do it.
It was one of the worst experiences of my life.
I'm very much looking for, I'm focused only on Hank today. minahan told me it took him two and a half hours to play eight holes
we sat around forever and it's like an indie film set we have a full production truck we have like
40 cameras and we're we're not recording this we're sending this out live right well this is
hank's the first one the funny thing is hank was like oh mini golf is such good content like
this will be easy it's cash whatever and then the first one ended up being his Medellin.
Like, it was the hardest thing he's ever done.
So he's doing it again?
And now he's, like, trying to get redemption.
And based on yesterday, they realized that, like, the way they were trying to do it wasn't working.
And then they had to, like, readjust it.
I'm hoping for the best for Hank.
But this has become, like, his, his David vs. Goliath.
He will make mini golf, and I'm worried that there's going to have to be
a trilogy. Well, David actually won that.
I know, but this might be a different version
of the Bible. He doesn't win.
He doesn't have a slingshot. When are people going to
realize Hank is full of nothing but terrible
ideas?
Nothing but the worst ideas.
School dreams? What the hell is that? I know, yeah. Nothing but the worst ideas. The fucking school streams?
What the hell is that shit, bro?
The Cowboys are going to beat the Eagles?
What the hell is that shit, bro?
He just loves games, man.
He loves games.
He does just love games.
He does, right?
He's also a rackjacker in the gym.
What?
A rackjacker?
Yeah, he's new.
So we were at the hotel gym.
I go take a water break.
I'm on the bench with the dumbbells right there,
and he just takes my bench, takes my dumbbells.
Oh, dude.
Tiny gym, too.
Tiny gym.
There's no other space.
He was putting in work, though.
Props to him.
He's going hard.
What'd he hit?
What'd he hit?
It matched out of 40.
He was going hard as fuck on the treadmill.
It was?
What's he doing?
Why? He's got the same golf shape. Yeah, he's got many golfs after that. He was going hard as fuck on the treadmill. It was. What's he doing? Why?
He's got the same golf shape.
Yeah, he's got many golfs afternoons.
Mm-hmm.
He's got the same golf shape.
What was Hank throwing around?
What were his exercises?
What was he doing?
I don't want to throw him under the bus.
I think that's the opposite of throwing him.
That's throwing him above the bus, telling him what awesome workouts he was doing.
What?
It depends how he was lifting.
He was doing everything.
It was a hotel gym,
and I think it maxed out at 50 pounds maybe.
Nah.
50-pound bench.
That's why I didn't check in.
I don't do 50s.
Not 50s?
I actually think I got hurt using the 50s.
What happened?
I was wearing over-ear headphones,
and I went down to go bench.
That's what I usually will bench with at a hotel gym.
But then the headphones fell off, and I, like, tried to...
With the dumbbells in your hand.
Can't do that, bro.
Let them fall.
Let them fall.
Commit to the rep.
Wait, Steven, so you were right about that guy?
No, he...
God damn it, Kyle.
I just saw the tweet.
Right.
No!
It is a cactus?
No!
They do fake cactuses.
They do fake cactuses.
...hours as cacti. They do fake cactuses.
That's fine.
That's not one.
But the fact that that even is a thing.
Yeah, but they do fake cedar trees in the north.
They do these fake trees to dress up cell towers.
That's not new.
5G towers.
That's not, yeah, whatever, cancer towers.
But that's not one.
That thing is 200 feet tall.
Does it or does it not look a different color than the other two things up there? That's the only question I'll ask.
It does. It looks like a navy blue.
Interesting. I think you're right, Steven. And I think if we even roll back a tape, I was supporting you from the very beginning that that was a cactus.
But you're just a supporter. You just support early on all things.
Yeah, I'm just trying to gas him into making a bad decision.
You didn't respond to my food.
I thought me and you could share a moment last night when I texted you pictures of my food.
But you get steak and scallops?
I did get scallops.
Actually, you're right.
I did owe you a text back from that.
It was when we were at the bar.
Yeah.
And the Lakers game was on.
We were whooping it up.
Yeah.
That was a moment.
That was fun.
It was fun.
It was cool.
But walk me back through the text.
Well, I sent you a picture of the scallop dish and the Wagyu dish,
but I didn't get a good picture.
It was blurry.
How do you pronounce that?
Wagyu?
That's how I say it. That's probably not right.
No, that's correct, I think.
Wagyu?
Wagyu?
Wagyu.
Yeah.
Wagyu?
Wagyu. Yeah. Wagyu? Wagyu.
Yeah, Wagyu.
Wagyu?
W-A-G-Y-U.
Oh, I thought the Y was before the G, Wagyu.
It might be.
I don't know.
I don't know either.
Do you know scallops have like 400 eyes?
What?
Scallops have like 400 eyes.
I don't think, yeah.
I can't even conceive them as living things.
Yeah, I can't conceive what their bodies look like.
Damn, they're very underrated as a dish.
They're so good. They look like they're meant to be eaten like they're they're brave they should
they are shrimp is yeah you said they're better than shrimp i think i personally i'm with that
i don't hate that yeah do we have the access to scallops that we have to shrimp i feel like we
can just make shrimp and like the cooler in the backyard get scallops wherever yeah and like tiny
little baby ass ones this one that you had last night looks incredible it was look at this shit it was what did the ring thing order
we just had the acorn tasting
yeah uh yeah no it was and you're leaving out the New Zealand venison.
Yeah, the New Zealand venison was delicious.
This shit looks bloody as fuck, bro.
This looks like fine dining.
It was. It cost $700.
No, it didn't.
Yes, it did.
Really?
It was too much.
You guys probably didn't even drink.
My wife is worth it.
No, she had the appropriate amount of glasses of wine.
Of bottles?
Yeah, exactly.
She had exactly the right amount of bottles of wine
or glasses of wine she needed to have.
Brandon and I were having a blast at the event yesterday.
We were tucked away in a corner,
and I was just giving him NFL players,
and he had to guess the college they went to.
I pulled up on it, and they were having so much fun.
There's nothing funner than that.
You were the quiz master.
I love hosting that shit.
Honestly, D-Lo better watch the fuck out because you were a great quiz master you were
fantastic and honestly then Nick came over and he started rattling them off
for both of you and I could see that your enjoyment went down a little bit
because you like to be the quiz man yeah right you want to do the quiz I think
it's satisfying as hell damn who's who's the best one? Doug Baldwin.
Yeah.
Stanford.
Uh-huh, that's correct.
I actually got that one.
I knew it was high school, and I couldn't remember his college.
That's weird.
No, I did work down in Panhandle, Florida. Your fit was crazy.
Huh?
Your fit went crazy.
It's been crazy all week.
That's your Dread Ice Arizona shirt.
Yeah.
Where'd you get it?
My boys at Roosevelt sent it to me.
No free ads.
Excuse me.
Looks breathable.
Ramondre Stevenson.
Oklahoma.
Yeah.
That's a tough one, I thought.
Oh, that's easy, right?
Oklahoma?
Adoree Jackson.
USC.
USC.
I mean, we can do this.
No first rounders.
No first rounders.
Jarek McKinnon.
Oh.
Jet.
Huh?
The Jet.
Jarek McKinnon. Small. Jet. Huh? Jet. Jarek McKinnon.
Smaller school.
Vikings.
Smaller school.
Like South Carolina State or something.
Geographically warm slash hot.
Yeah.
South Carolina State.
Coastal.
Tennessee State.
South Carolina.
Not Clemson.
Could be a North Carolina school now that he's talking about.
East Carolina.
Yes.
No.
What are we doing?
Lukewarm.
That's what I like.
Bro, they shouldn't let us yak.
Also, we ain't doing a wet wheel today.
You know what?
We're not doing a wet wheel today.
Yeah, we're not.
Everybody?
We're yakking, dude.
We're out here yakking. No wet wheels. We're doing player names where they went to college, and we ain't doing a wet wheel today. No, we're not. Everybody? We're yakking, dude. We're out here yakking.
No wet wheels.
We're doing player names, where they went to college, and we ain't doing a wet wheel today.
Ain't nobody getting wet.
We're going to be some dry motherfuckers up in here.
I'm going to get internally wet.
Pro football reference.
Something they've been doing recently is name this player, and it's a stock photo of their head,
so you can't see who it is, and it's just their jersey numbers and accolades,
and it's like name this player based on their numbers and accolades, and it kind of shows. Is it an outline of their head so you can't see who it is and it's just their jersey numbers and accolades and it's like name this player based on their numbers and accolades and it kind of shows
is the outline of their headshot no it's just a their face no oh you can't see their face no but
it's just their numbers and their teams and uh i would like to do that i would like to do that all
day which was fun there's nothing it's like the funnest thing for an adult male dude i found one
that was uh like a soccer player one where you have to link players that have
played together once and you get on a streak and I lost like four hours.
Bro, that story you told yesterday about wearing the fucking like wrong soccer jersey to a
game just to show that you fucking like soccer was killing me.
That was bad, dude.
I thought about it multiple times afterwards just how funny it is.
It was such a rookie play.
I went early in my soccer fandom. Manchester United and Roma played
an exhibition game
at the Bronco Stadium.
And I was young
in my soccer-loving career.
I was like,
oh, we got to go to this game.
So me and my boys went.
And I was like,
I just want to show my fandom.
All I had was a Barcelona jersey.
So I just wore
the Barcelona jersey.
Barcelona's not playing.
So I just wore
a random soccer jersey
and I got clowned
to oblivion.
Dude, I'd do that.
If I...
That's not good for me. If I go to an NFL game that's not my game, I will wear a soccer jersey.
Yeah, that's a further indictment. Do you feel any better about yourself?
No. No. Why do you do that?
I got to support. No you don't. I'm repping all the time.
But you don't have to go to a whole other game wearing your team.
It's a look at me-ass move.
You can definitely seek it out, but if it's a Monday Night Football game in the city or whatever,
yeah, I'm going to wear a Bucs jersey.
To a Jets-Giants game?
Yeah.
It's just the ultimate not act like you've been there before, and I had never been there before.
That's like American EPL fans.
Exactly.
They have to announce it to the world times 10.
Exactly.
And I also got the jersey when I was in eighth grade,
so it was skin tight.
So even visually it looked bad.
Where was the game you went to?
It was at Mile High.
Okay.
Yeah.
Wayne Rooney.
But if you do that in America,
it's not as bad as if you were in Europe and did it.
It would have been much worse if I did it in Europe.
Yeah.
Much, much worse.
Yeah.
But even there I got clowned. I would have been banished if i was in europe yeah what do you think is worse though
not knowing enough and you're like trying your best to like just show you're a soccer fan and
fit in with everybody or knowing the sport really well and still consciously wearing a team that's
not even participating the ladder like steven the. I don't mind that at all.
There's a lot of sports-ass fans out here.
Even at the Barstool Bar, it's just dudes repping their team.
There's a lot of sports down here.
Especially the polos.
There was a dude last night rocking Oregon Ducks, just polo.
Yes, but no, Oregon Ducks with Indianapolis Colts hat.
He was just mismatching teams.
There was a Wisconsin football couple.
Yep.
A dude and a chick in Wisconsin football
regalia.
He got clowned by a Chiefs fan.
I got assaulted by this
middle-aged woman.
Really? Yeah.
What'd she get you for?
Was it my wife?
She told me to shut the...
Getting really mean and her husband was embarrassed.
Really? Yeah.
What the fuck? I said, go
Chiefs, and then she, like, gave me a
high five, and I was like, I'm not actually a fan.
And then I set her off.
Why would that set her off? Yeah.
She's, they...
You should be a fan. Do we have any
witnesses here from the hotel incident?
Yes. You were there? As, like, the more time witnesses here from the hotel incident? Yes.
You were there?
The more time that passes, the more I was there.
So I was on the elevator down, and Nick texted me,
something's going on in this lobby.
And he was still typing while I saw it.
And there was a man.
It was insane.
You saw the dude?
There was five cops on top of him.
Oh.
Yeah, I wonder if there's an update on that.
What did you think of their pin?
Well, explain kind of what happened.
Was their pinning good?
From a wrestler point of view?
I didn't see it.
The guy crashed his car head on into our hotel, gets out, runs through the hotel lobby into the pool area.
The cops get him and tackle him i heard that he pulled a a move where he like acted like
he had been there and like just pulled out his phone and tried to mill about like a civilian
i like that like he tried to blend in nick tried to stop him he did a spin move on nick
i go through and i just form tackle and the cops came after that i'm picturing Nick like in Home Alone 2 when he's in New York.
Like Rob Schneider just like trying to break his legs.
And he goes through his legs.
He goes through his legs.
He's got his ankles broken by a runaway with a horn.
Oh my God.
Have you guys ever been in a situation like that?
Not exactly, but like a similar, like police.
Well, Kyle was in it yesterday.
I almost got hit head onon in a police chase.
Really?
Yeah, and then he went on the curb and then turned into a golf course and then just hit a maple tree.
The bad guy?
Yeah.
The fact that you knew the type of tree was a nice detail.
I know every type of tree in Colorado, every location, every single one.
Really?
Yeah.
I just know.
It's great because he never be able to check me.
That's true.
I mean, if we were in the remote, I mean, there's a little bit
of desert in southwest Colorado. You'd know every tree out there?
Oh, yeah. You can't G-check me on this
because it's stupid. It's pointless.
There's a lot of maple out there, though, huh?
Oh, yeah. Aspen, maple, elm, silver maple.
Redwood?
No, redwood.
There's maple in Colorado.
I don't know why I just have all the maple in the northeast in Canada.
Because of maple syrup, right?
Yeah.
Where are all the Redwoods?
That's all in California.
California?
But Muir Woods isn't Redwoods, is it?
Is it like Sequoias or something?
I don't know.
Yeah.
They're all near San Francisco.
But I thought Sequoias was the name of the redwood forest.
I thought Sequoia was a type of redwood.
Oh, is it?
Isn't it?
Bro, we're going to talk about some weird shit today.
That's fine.
Let's just do it.
I like this.
Let's get into Sequoia Redwood.
I just remembered.
I re-remembered it.
I was so young.
I was like seven.
It was whenever the Blair Witch Project came out.
You were seven.
Yeah.
The cops knocked on my door at 5 a.m.
Not on my door, my parents.
They answered.
My neighbor stabbed his wife.
I forgot all about that.
Huh.
Until now?
My neighbor stabbed his wife in the neck.
Oh.
Repeatedly.
She survived.
He called the cops himself.
That Paul Pierce shit.
What?
Yeah.
What?
It's one of those things. And now he lives in Arizona. He only got four Paul Pierce shit. What? Yeah. What? It's one of those things
and now he lives in Arizona.
He only got four years in jail.
What?
You gotta look that up.
Did she survive?
Did they divorce?
With a knife.
Like a butter knife?
No, they tried to work things out
for a year,
but it didn't last.
No, she tried to work it out.
Let's give this another shot, baby.
That wasn't me. Let's really give this thing a baby. That wasn't me.
Let's really give this thing a whirl.
That's so fucked up.
I don't have a police chase story or anything or a stabbing.
I've seen two very cool ones.
Oh, my dad helped shoot a guy once.
What do you mean helped?
Was it Chris Paul and he had binoculars?
He stood behind the dude like a t-ball coach?
No, back when I was like seven or eight years old, we lived at the end of a dirt road.
And there was a guy named Tommy who lived across the way.
He was a drug dealer and my dad was a drug user.
It was a perfect match.
And one night Tommy came home.
They were having a party at the drug house.
And somebody had fucked his girl.
So he went over to my dad's.
And my dad went and got him a shotgun. And they walked over there and he shot him he shot him in the leg so he used my dad's gun
but i was asleep oh you say your dad's first degree murder no no he shot him in the leg
and the cops came they didn't charge him because he did fuck his girl
so that has legal grounds.
It should.
In my defense, honor smell is dick.
No, they worked it out.
The guy refuses press charges.
Guy's like, well, I fucked his girl.
That's cool.
There's nothing I can do.
There's a judge like, there's nothing I can do.
So I think they just shook hands at the end of the night.
Like, all right, I shot you.
You fucked my girl.
What happened to their relationship?
I don't think those drug relationships last very long anyway.
Is that who you're named after?
Who, me?
Thomas?
No, no.
I was already named.
But I'm named after my dad, who was Thomas.
Oh, OK.
My grandfather, Thomas Calvin, who's a renowned racist.
So you're World T.W. 3.
What?
World T.W. 3. Oh, I might be TW6.
I don't know.
I can take it back three generations.
So if you were an NFL player, what would your jersey say on the back?
Walker.
No, 6, third.
Well, but I'm not really a true junior because they changed the middle names.
That's what happened to me.
Is that how that works?
I would have been the second if I had my middle name.
Like Thomas, my son is Thomas Brandon Walker Jr.
That's the first one that carried both names.
So it needs to be a –
I didn't know that you had to carry the middle name.
Yeah, you do.
I think you can do it however you want.
You think you can skip a generation and pick it back up?
No.
My dad is Frank Ferone III.
I would have been Frank Ferone IV.
And I think that has a nice ring to it.
I think you just can't call it junior.
You've got to call it the second.
No, he has to be the fourth.
If I had a son, can I call him Triple F?
Can he be Frank Ferron the fourth?
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, because he is fourth.
Okay.
Really?
I'm going to do it.
Why did your dad skip you?
My mom must have had a fucking ax to grind.
She was like, fuck your family.
That's what happened to me, too.
We're not doing that.
I would have been the second.
My mom was like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No.
No. It sucks. And Adams I would have been the second. My mom was like, no, no, no, no, no. No. No.
It sucks.
And Adam's like,
they should do the
second, they should
say the sequel
instead of the second.
Yeah, that would
be dope.
That would be dope.
Part two.
Frank Ferron,
the sequel.
When do you stop
the numbers though?
Because you've never
heard of somebody
like the fifth.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you have.
The British Royals,
sure.
But I'm talking
about in America.
You don't know
like Lester Jackson V.
Kenny Stills?
Is he the fourth?
Or Will Foley the fourth?
Kenneth Walker the fourth, right?
The running back for the Seahawks?
Is he the fourth?
Wait, there's no the fifths?
I don't know any of the fifths.
Kenny Stills.
Stills?
Is he the fifth?
The Miami Dolphins one.
Samuel Brown the fifth.
That's pretty good. You guys fuck with Henry VIII? He's the one that killed all the fifth? The Miami Dolphins won. Samuel Brown the fifth. That's pretty good.
You guys fuck with Henry VIII?
He's the one that killed all the bitches?
Yeah.
I think you can say that about all of them.
Yeah, I guess so.
Yeah, I fuck with that pretty heavy.
You guys fuck with Ron DeSantis?
I haven't really thought about it.
I saw some shit where he was like a 23-year-old teacher,
like pranking his students and making them chug milk and throw up.
Not to get political, but him and Trump are going to savage each other.
They're going to absolutely destroy each other.
That'll be much watched.
Trump's already putting out the picture of the teacher thing.
So what did he do?
Can we watch it?
It's a picture.
He spent one year as a teacher, age 23.
And he was going to the kids' parties, but being mean to them.
Bullying them?
Yeah, daring them to do shit.
There's a still photo of him bullying kids?
It's kind of like the act.
My DJ's ringing out.
There's an article, and the students were like, yeah, he was really cool.
They just made him look cool.
Wait, so why is he doing that? What's the point?
He's trying to sewer him?
Oh yeah, they're going to destroy each other
before next year.
They're trying to race to see who gets the nomination.
It's them two. It's going to be one of them.
They're the ones? The Republican candidate?
Yeah.
They probably put up that China balloon just so they
be like, look, we need to fucking
band together. Somebody on Twitter told me that we didn't shoot it down because that balloon was 15 football fields
by 15 football no it's three greyhound buses they lied bro yeah there's no chance it's 15
football fields well it also had a payload it didn't look like it where'd the payload go when
we shot it down I don't know probably flattened someone All I know is a whale's tongue is the size of a sedan.
A whale's tongue is?
All whales?
They've been saying that for years, and that is true.
That's the only size comparison.
Blue or sperm?
I know.
I think the orcas.
No, orcas can't be.
Orcas are tiny.
I don't know.
I don't know whales.
They're built for speed.
Is that the only context you call a small car a sedan?
You would never say my sedan's in the driveway, but you would say a Wales tongue.
Yeah, Wales tongue is the size of a sedan.
I used to think a sedan was a model of car.
Like, I thought it was like the Mercedes sedan.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, I used to think that.
What makes a sedan a sedan?
Four doors?
No, because there can be two doors.
It's a four-door car.
Probably.
I don't think so.
I think that's a coupe.
Oh, that's a coupe?
You know cars.
I guess.
My dad doesn't have one of those.
No, because a coupe is two seats.
And there could be a four-door or two doors and you just put the seat forward and you can get in the back.
A sedan is an enclosed...
Oh, okay, that's not right.
An automobile having a closed body and closed trunk separated from the part in which the driver and passenger sit, a sedan.
Can you have a trunk with the passengers?
That doesn't make sense to me.
A minivan.
Hatchback?
Right, there's not a full wall.
Oh, I see.
Yeah, okay.
Okay, I feel that.
I guess most SUVs as well.
It's like a station wagon.
Oh!
Or a sedan.
Or a hatchback.
They're all different things.
Station wagons fell off, dude.
They're hard.
People were fucking with them heavy in the 90s.
The wood panels.
Now people just don't have the patience for the station.
Was it a rich people thing?
Because my rich friend had it.
No, it was just an everybody thing.
Yeah?
I think it was just everybody.
Yeah.
I would love to have a wood paneled station wagon these days.
Yeah?
That would be awesome.
How different would I look?
That would be awesome.
You would look the same.
You said you're itching to get a car.
When we get to Chicago, I'm buying a car.
You want to drive, yeah.
What are you about to buy?
What type of car?
Mercedes?
I think I'm buying a Jeep Wrangler.
You seem like you should.
You need to be a Cadillac guy.
No, I'm not going to be a Cadillac guy.
You look like, dude, Cadillac would actually change your swagger.
No, I've got to be a Jeep guy.
I've got to be up high.
Cadillac's into the pod, too.
Although I did see a Ford Bronco here in Scottsdale the other day
that was so nice.
I was like,
hey buddy,
do you like your car?
Because I love that car.
And he said,
yeah,
you should buy one.
So now I might have to get
a Ford Bronco.
Had the top down.
Makes a compelling argument.
White?
Yeah.
It was white.
Did you see it?
Was that,
were you talking to a black man
that used to be a running back?
Oh no,
oh no.
Okay.
Hello Jeff. Jeff D'Lo's in the building. Jeff D'Lo, what. Oh, no. Okay. Hello, Jeff.
Jeff D'Lo's in the building.
Jeff D'Lo, what's up, brother?
Yeah, what's up?
You look...
That is a Christian cut.
Got the Kim Jong-un fit.
You went to a different barber.
Come show it off.
Yeah, come show it off, brother.
Put that thing in the sun.
My barber back home in New York.
It's his cousin.
He's got a guy?
Yeah, here. What's his nationality He's got a guy? Yeah, here.
What's his nationality?
Glendale.
There's Glendale in.
Of course.
That's what I was fishing for.
And it plays.
It 100% plays.
All my barbers are like, cool.
You miss it now.
I'm leaving.
We could just play sports.
I think we should.
Can I tell a quick Che story?
Yeah, of course.
Last night we were at the bar, and you were going to ask me to put on the game at the bar.
Yeah, a not nationally televised game.
And you pointed at, yeah, he thinks every bar is league pass.
He pointed at the TV that was on.
He goes, this one in the corner with this, like, C-span crap on it.
Oh, the State of the Union.
The State of the Union.
That's it.
That's the State of the Union. You definitely State of the Union. It's State of the Union.
You definitely don't fuck with DeSantis, bro.
I can tell.
I don't have a problem with that because I had no idea the State of the Union was on there.
Me neither, dude. I turn on the TV and it was on every channel.
I thought those were like a murder.
I think they did it in January, aren't they?
I think it was definitely scheduled.
This feels like a late one.
Dude, Marjorie Taylor Greene's fit went nuts.
She looked like Cruella de Vil.
She looked like Kuzma.
Yeah.
I can see Kuzma pulling off that Taylor Greene shit.
Bro, our politics, I just saw some of the clips.
It's turning into the Ukrainian, or not even Ukraine.
You see parliaments from other countries where like Albanian dudes
are like throwing chairs through people's heads, just like fucking screaming at all
time.
Dude, I think our shit is turning into that.
People are just like standing up, be like, liar.
Dude, it's crazy.
I was watching some clips of it and I was thinking the same thing.
It looked like a scene from like the Dark Knight Rises where, where the, the, the like
holding court and they're standing on a bunch of papers and people are yelling and screaming hands at each other yeah they looked like a rap battle
it was crazy i don't bro why didn't you uh jump in and defend brandon last night yeah why didn't you
what he was going to war for lebron oh i was i can't even participate in that discourse i can't
even i can't even argue it was a. I can't even argue with that.
Do you not think it was a little bit ridiculous that they stopped the game?
No, stop, stop, stop, stop.
Steven, this is what people said on Twitter.
We have been stopping these games.
We have been stopping these games forever for these records.
We stopped it for Drew Brees in the middle of a drive.
We stopped it for Steph Curry last year.
This is not unusual.
Cal Ripken, when he broke a fucking perfect attendance record,
did a full lap around the stadium and high-fived the fans. It's not unusual. No, it is not unusual. Cal Ripken, when he broke a fucking perfect attendance record, did a full lap around the stadium and high-fived the fans.
It's not unusual.
No, it's not.
I thought you were about to hit it hard.
But I agree with Brandon.
You just give LeBron his respect.
Yeah, I mean, at this point, what do you hate about him?
You're a LeBron hater.
I didn't know he was universally detestable.
I don't think he is.
I didn't understand his speech, though, when he was like, fuck, thanks.
He's the most unhatable hated guy I've ever seen.
There's nothing hateful about him.
I don't think he is.
I think people just make fun of him a lot, like joke about him.
He's just cringy.
No, but he's the biggest, so people want an opinion.
So he's an invitation to contrarians to get their little moment in the sun attention,
that people just know he's good, so they want to say he's not because that shit drives clicks the amount that skip bayless has
like tweeted about him dude your boy was like a vlogger i saw him a clip of him he just had his
phone on the court yeah baby yeah yeah he was out the fucking he loves he's addicted to the content
he has a content he's in the car on my text line i sent you the anthony david did you see this
anthony i wasn't responding to text last night.
Anthony Davis, when LeBron is about to set the scoring record,
just goes and sits down and doesn't even watch it.
Oh, yeah, I did see that.
That was weird.
But I think people over, like, that's overblown, bro.
You think that that's, he actually, like, hates him?
Underblown?
Can something be underblown?
Yeah.
Dude, my first, like, 19 years on the life.
Let's go, brother. Yeah, I'm picturing now you saying to a girl, you've underblown? Yeah. Dude, my first, like, 19 years on the life. Let's go, brother.
Yeah, I'm picturing now you saying to a girl, you've underblown me.
That's so underblown right now.
How was your night last night?
It was a little underblown.
Yeah.
We try again.
Imagine showing up the next day while I'm overblown.
Yeah, I'm overblown.
Oh, God.
You have an IV drip.
Oh, the guy deleted the tweet that you sent me, too.
Raghav Mohan.
He deleted it.
That's classic Mohan.
Yeah.
I don't wonder why.
Maybe he was too much attention, or maybe AD was like, take this shit down.
I think AD was probably just resting.
He just came out of the game.
So he was probably just.
But you go on the Lakers Reddit afterwards, they're like, I'm fucking tired of AD.
Like, less than 10 field goal attempts.
Like, they just always pick someone to hate.
But they love Bev right now, so life is good.
Is he not?
Is he hurt?
Who?
Pep F.
No, he played last night.
Oh, did he?
And he still had his phone on the bench.
Oh, when y'all said he had his phone on the bench, I was like.
Yeah, he was like in uniform.
Yeah.
Put up seven points.
We got to get him on stool scenes.
He's better than any of us.
That bad?
At capturing clips, man.
He's just...
I know.
Pasoli, you better watch out.
Boy, this guy's got a fucking...
Quez Watkins.
Yeah, yeah.
Southern Miss.
Yeah, Brandon.
How do you go out?
You let him beat you.
Fuck.
You got me.
Southern Miss doesn't really exist.
I know.
That's a good day for the Lakers.
I know.
They got to trade Russ.
Who's going to take him?
JJ Redick's been saying that the Jazz are close to a deal.
Yeah?
Maybe like Mike Conley and change.
I don't know that Mike Conley changes much.
More than fucking...
Yeah, I guess.
More than Russ.
Although Russ got the assist right
uh i don't know if it was technically i mean he took one dribble it should have been one dribble
yeah yeah probably yeah the dude calling for the pass was awesome in the post yeah clearly
sealing out he was if you need me he had great position i'll give him that yeah yeah yeah you
know who's the MVP of that
still photo that will go down in history
of him hitting that shot?
The crusty old security guard
where everybody has their phones out
and he's just sitting like this.
Was that Phil Knight?
Was that Phil Knight? Wasn't it?
I don't know. Was it? I thought it was a security guard.
Am I tripping?
I think it was, yeah.
I didn't even know that was Phil Knight.
Why would Phil Knight not be happy?
He was just watching.
He was just watching.
He was living in the moment.
He doesn't know about Instagram stories.
Yeah, he wasn't.
That's the only reason.
I have a sun lion here today, boys.
I don't know what to do.
I'm jealous.
I'm frigid over here in the shade.
It's just the top of my hair is hot.
It's golden. Yeah, thank you. You's just the top of my hair is hot. It's golden.
Yeah, thank you. You were looking good as fuck last night, bro. I took a candid picture of you just
being like, damn, you look good. Did you?
Oh, thank you very much. You're wearing your nicest
Shawn Michaels socks. I was.
I had the Heartbreaker socks out.
Heartbreak Kid. You were being very nice
yesterday. I was? Yeah, I
appreciated that. Oh, you're welcome. Well, we were
in battle together. We're in the trench. This is a Cadillac guy right there. Oh, fuck. I do? Yeah, I appreciated that. Oh, you're welcome. Well, we were in battle together. We were in the
trench. This is a Cadillac guy right
there. Oh, fuck. I do look good there.
I told him he looked like... Sunglasses riding high
on my head. He looked like a car dealer.
He looked like he was like...
Are you still taking the ring thing to that scam
ass Van Gogh immersive experience? I don't think
that's a scam. She wants to go. I'm
taking her to Immersive Monet tomorrow. I've been to the one
in New York multiple times. I just see it online as a scam. She wants to go. I'm taking her to Immersive Monet tomorrow. I've been to the one in New York multiple times.
I just see it online as a scam.
It's scam-ish?
What did you think?
Well, it's not like you just stand in a room and the wall changes.
It's not that crazy.
Well, I don't think it has to be.
You have to take some hallucinogens.
Yeah, you need to take some PEDs.
There might be a free drink voucher or something.
You get like a pre-mixed shitty cocktail or something.
She just loves it.
She's right now looking at all the art galleries downtown she just wants she loves art
see walls full of art Monet is cool I went to a Monet exhibit he's my favorite impressionist
yes Manet is a pussy well him and Frank Caliendo active painter who knows uh good question Banksy
I don't know uh Chels I think there's a dude named Koons that does crazy shit. Oh, he does tattoos in my hometown.
Koons tattoo.
I think he's a different guy.
He only does one tattoo, I believe.
Huh?
He only does one.
No, it's Koons. He's a good guy.
We talk about modern art.
We just, like, modern art in general.
Yeah, that's not like a lost skill.
People are still doing it. Who's the best?
But this dude Koons, he's like an overseer of art.
He has interns basically painting for him. He'll'll be like i want the thing to look like this
and he'll have like four people working on but even back then wasn't it hard to get famous as
a living artist and you have to die to get famous you i don't think you got your flowers while you're
still like actively you know what artists i love whenever there's an nba halftime show and they do
like uh and they do like a giant canvas
and they're just like, you have no idea what they're doing,
and then they turn it upside down and it's like Carmelo Anthony.
Perfect.
That is dope.
Those are always great.
I don't know how dudes learn how to do that.
How do I?
It just has to be nice with the...
Great skill.
Basquiat was at least a pop culture guy.
How was the Philharmonic?
We didn't talk much about it, but it was fantastic.
We didn't.
It was so pretentious, I could not believe it, bro.
Yeah.
They played a note of music, like,
and the fucking audience burst out in laughter.
Like, I see what you did there.
I never saw anything like that. Bro, everybody laughed at the note. I got that. out in laughter like I see what you did there I know everybody laughs they laugh
too like what is the punchline I guess it was a silly note silly like a silly
note I've never been in such like a that isn't so good atmosphere like the kids
started crying and everybody like so angry like it's just fucking atmosphere. Like, the kids started crying, and everybody, like, looked up so angry.
Like, it's just this big fart sniffing.
Wait, how'd it look up again?
What do you wear to that?
I just wore, like, I wore my most ridiculous coat, and then, like, fucking...
You were pretentious as hell, too.
All black underneath, but everybody was in tuxedos, so I didn't even, like, fit in.
It's, like, all about Juilliard and shit.
It's a whole art
world that i'm not even in carnegie hall or lincoln center i don't know it's like up on like
60th like by central park upper west yeah lincoln center yeah like rest i guess where juilliard is
in black swan there's like the scene all the scenes outside it makes me want to do some more
shit like that though i might go fuck around and see a ballet i proposed there right in front of
the fountain did you yes i did my boy what'd she say yeah what did she say verbatim this was like to see a ballet? I proposed there. Right in front of that fountain. Did you? Yes, I did. My boy.
What'd she say? What did she say?
Verbatim. This was like an old
whole other girl.
Damn, bro. Why there?
We lived like pretty close there.
It was just a convenience thing.
Yeah, it was just like a nice area.
Special to us, I guess. Yeah.
Didn't really go there much, but walked by it all the time.
Did you get a photographer or anything? I had my buddy, like, hiding out, you know.
In the plaza? Not a lot of hiding spots. No. Do you remember her verbatim response?
No. I mean, she said, yeah, a roundabout way of saying yes, but I don't remember, yeah.
Roundabout way of saying yes. You don't get that, and you didn't do it right. No, she said yes,
but I don't remember the words before or after. A roundabout way of saying yes. You don't get that, and you didn't do it right. No, she said yes, but I don't remember the words before or after.
A roundabout way of saying yes would be awful.
Yeah, have you ever been...
Let me think about it.
I mean, I had Nick's season tickets for 10 years.
I saw a lot of proposals go very sour at the game.
Most of them were staged.
This was very early Twitter.
Yeah, I think they staged a lot of them.
Stage failed proposals?
Yes, to try and go viral.
Yeah.
I don't think those were staged in, like, 2004. Oh, like the people, not the Nick's organization. No, I think they staged a lot of them. Staged failed proposals? Yes, to try and go viral. Yeah. I don't think those were the case in 2012.
Oh, like the people, not the Knicks organization.
No, I think the Knicks organization.
I think that it's like a grand scheme.
This was like 12 years ago.
I don't think that.
They were staging things 12 years ago.
We didn't start staging things.
These videos didn't exist after these moments.
What do women hate getting proposed to at sporting events and on their birthday or holidays?
Or what is it?
Birthday, really?
I don't know.
They want their own birthday.
Yeah, definitely.
I can see that.
Birthday, holiday.
It has to be its own separate holiday.
Yeah.
I mean, it's like, what should I get her?
It's a new holiday.
Nah, just get her a ring.
Two for one.
I don't even get her.'s a new holiday just get her a ring yeah two for one all right high noon hard seltzer is made with uh made with real vodka not uh not malt like those other seltzers it's
real juice real vodka sparkling water they now have big cans of peach and
pineapple 700 milliliters bigger than these although i'm enjoying the
watermelon right now what are you enjoying i'm enjoying a passion fruit what are you enjoying ron I'm enjoying the watermelon right now. What are you enjoying? I'm enjoying a passion fruit. What are you enjoying, Roan?
I'm enjoying your guys' company
and just like the
vibes out here. And your shirt. Oh, is this your
shirt? Oh, that was yours. Okay.
I'm talking back. What are you enjoying?
Alexander Madison.
Ooh. I don't.
That's with tea, right?
Boise State? Boise State?
I thought that was someone that signed the Declaration of Independence.
Alexander Madison.
Only 100 calories, gluten-free, no added sugar.
The full-time flavors, pineapple, black cherry, watermelon, grapefruit, lime, peach, mango, passion fruit, and lemon.
But you can get limited edition flavors like pear and cranberry in the tailgate pack.
Or if you get the pool pack, you can get the kiwi and the guava.
You can look for High Noon at Drizzly or your local convenience or liquor store.
Visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you.
At the Barstool Bar yesterday, I was like, hey, give me a High Noon.
She didn't even ask me the flavor.
She just went and got one.
Brought me the pineapple.
It was delicious.
Barstool Bar, very nice.
Were you sipping on High Noon?
No.
I was too.
I lost my ability to drink.
I gave it up for three months and now
i just can't do it yeah it seems like you've been doing it pretty well yeah yeah but it's it's i'm
struggling i'm not like getting the pot like the good effects pop there's no pop no pop yeah you
were drinking eggs yesterday though that shit was weird that's a problem what trying to ask tj if i
need to do more high noon ad and he's just looking at me.
Oh, I think you're clear with a minute.
Okay.
There's a lot of people wearing corduroy.
Out here?
Yeah.
Why is corduroy like a Unabomber right now?
Huh?
Your forehead is like a high beam in the sun.
It's a Unabomber.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Who else was dressed like that?
Was it the Unabomber?
He's just chilling, bro.
He had a long night at pool, bro.
He was running the pool table last night.
Was he?
We have a pool table in here.
Oh, Corey.
Corey was, obviously.
Good pool table.
Yo, we got to get this in Hank's ear.
A fucking barstool pool stream.
A pool tournament.
I mean, I want to be in it.
Yeah, exactly.
That's why I'm bringing it up, dude.
We got to get it in Hank's ear.
Francis will run it.
Pool seems like a very easy sport to broadcast, too.
We should be able to do that, no problem.
That's why Hank won't like it.
He's got to do the Scorsese shit?
Yeah, he's got to pick the most difficult sport to broadcast.
The next one's probably going to be a massive hunting experience.
Trail cams.
Yeah, it'll be easy.
We'll only have to do a couple night vision shots.
Have you guys ever shot an animal?
Obviously, Brandon has.
I have, yes.
Animal?
Once.
Okay, so here's the thing about me.
You think, oh, where I'm'm from but i don't i don't
like hunting i don't believe in hunting i hate hunting oh wait bro lane johnson was kind of just
saying the same thing he fishes i fish i fish i feel one animal i've shot one animal in my life
and as soon as i did i said i'm never doing this again he gave me the spiel on an atv by his house
snake so i shot him from like 30 yards away how big pretty far uh well we we were me and
my uncle doug of course y'all know doug we were on the side of a country road a dirt road and he
said and there was a creek that runs right beside he said let's let's get out shoot snakes like all
right and he had a 22 rifle and i shot shot a snake like five times and i finally hit him and
he freaked out and uh and actually he got shot i didn't i didn't like it i didn't
enjoy it i could never kill a deer but you had you had venison last night i can eat it yeah i
don't mind there's a cognitive dissonance i don't mind if you kill it i don't want to kill that's
what i struggle with so i was 16 i was like you know what if i'm gonna eat meat i need to be able
to look an animal in the eye and kill it and i was at my buddy's house with a bb gun and i was like i
gotta kill something if i'm gonna live with myself what could you kill with a BB gun, and I was like, I've got to kill something if I'm going to live with myself.
What could you kill with a BB gun?
A bunny.
And I felt really bad.
How many times did you have to hit it?
I shot the bunny, and it wasn't quite dead,
so I had to go up and execute it.
I went home, and I was like, that was... Call it a rabbit. That sounds better.
Killing a bunny sounds terrible.
That's true. Yeah, I killed a hare.
Yeah, a hare.
And I felt terrible About it
Yeah I don't like
I shot a turtle
Yeah
Damn you were doing
You were playing
Expert difficulty
I felt kind of bad
Yeah
That's a hard
That's a hard kill
Oh they're easy
Because they stick
Their head out of the water
Well they also have
A flak jacket on though
It was one of the old ones
From the Galapagos
Like a tortoise
Yeah it was like
About to break a record
Like a rare
A fucking gun, yeah.
It's in the butt?
Yeah, it's dead.
Damn, bro.
That's kind of mean.
What did you shoot it with?
I was lying.
I know, I know.
I'll just give you a little bit.
I never shot an animal.
But what was the BB gun?
What was it invented?
What was the purpose for it?
To get yourself familiar with actual guns, right?
To be an entry-level gun for kids.
To shoot what?
Targets?
Anything.
Shoot targets or shoot little birds.
That is a crazy business model.
Like, you know what the world needs is to make kids more familiar with guns.
It's an entry-level gun.
That's what it is.
You can't shoot other people.
There was none of that going on.
No.
No wars. I've been shot. We had BB gun wars when I was a kid. There was none of that going on. No. No wars.
I've been shot.
We had BB gun wars when I was a kid.
I got shot in the chest once.
Did it penetrate the skin?
No.
Not a BB.
A pellet gun could, but a BB gun.
He was probably jiggling for 20 minutes after that thing hit.
First of all, I was young, so I was in shape.
Okay.
What is airsoft guns?
That's just...
The greatest invention ever.
What do they shoot?
They shoot like little plastic pellets.
Same type of vibe?
Yeah.
As a BB gun?
But much less painful.
They have communities where they have competitive leagues and shit.
Airsoft fatty.
Airsoft fatty, yeah.
We used to do a lot of those as a kid, like airsoft wars.
I had a buddy that got like a military grade smoke grenade and just threw it in the middle of a battle
and it completely carpeted the whole neighborhood in red
smoke. Really? Yeah.
I feel like a military grade
grenade is just a grenade. Smoke grenade.
Smoke grenade.
I feel like grenades shouldn't be publicly
available.
Is that a hot take? No. I don't think they
are. No, I think he did something.
Someone who hunts deer with No. I don't think they are. No, I think he did something. Someone who hunts deer with grenades.
Yeah, take down a...
I saw a video, like, it might be even an old video,
but it was, like, on, like, a fight Twitter account,
and a dude gets, like, punched in the face,
and he pulls out a grenade.
He pulled out a grenade.
He just had it on him
even like a serial killer with grenades
yeah any type of killing with grenades we'd be more lenient on them yeah oh that should be legal
grenades in general if you kill someone with a grenade, it should be a little bit. That's kind of on them.
A little bit.
Dude, they're really heavy.
They're really heavy.
Grenades are?
Like that scene
from Black Hawk Down
where the dude
just laces one
into a window overhand.
You can't throw them overhand.
They're way too heavy.
You can only throw them
like a few.
You can't throw them very far.
Apparently, they're wildly heavy.
I wouldn't know.
You're saying they're heavy?
Yeah, they're heavy.
They're a tungsten, they are.
It's like a tungsten, yeah.
People are always throwing them back.
You know what I mean? Like a grenade, like
ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding, and you're like, no.
Is that how it works?
I think that it's like a tongue.
They always do.
Do the ding-a-ding-a-ding.
Yeah, you yell
remix, then throw it back.
I guess underhand, thoughink, chink. Pop a potato? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you yell, yeah, you yell remix then throw it back. I guess underhand though.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
So Rome,
are we doing
no wheel at all today?
No, we should do the wheel.
Just no wet wheel.
No, no,
no mandatory wetness.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah.
The fact that, bro,
they didn't even want me
to do the show today.
I'm showing up
because I fucking love yakking.
All right, let's spill,
let's spin the real wheel.
And my boys.
We should also talk about HelloFresh.
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It's organized very well.
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That's an insane discount.
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Again, let's go to
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HelloFresh is America's
number one meal kit did you meet
rassila last night i did did you but you like didn't know it was him or something like that
so i mean i well i was next to you and he came over and i he was just wearing a hat like that
and i hadn't i mean he's a bald guy but um it took me a second to be like oh and then um he said
what's up and i said hi and uh you chatted with him for a moment, and he went on to talk to me.
Well, afterwards, I was trying to remember.
Were you like, was that Priscilla?
No, I knew it.
I said, what's up?
Oh, you knew it.
Okay.
I said, like, Priscilla, come in.
And yeah.
That's dope.
That's dope.
Who else was in the mix?
There were some names out.
Shane was out.
Shane was out.
Christian Yelich.
Yeah.
Yelich, yep.
Yelich.
Yelich and D-Lo were yeah. Jelich, yep.
Jelich and D-Lo were like putting me on the-
This was all at the same bar last night?
Yeah.
I was just hanging out at the bar with these guys?
Christian Jelich was at-
I was with my ring thing.
The bar.
And then we walked over and then Rossella came over later and Shane joined probably
around, maybe a little bit earlier.
Yeah, he was in the mix.
It was a good mix.
It was a fun mix.
Yeah, it was a fun mix.
But what was Jllich drinking?
He was drinking
some like
fucking
Austin vodka
that I'd never heard of.
It wasn't Tito's
but some other kind
of Austin
flavored vodka.
No, something else.
Like two words or something
but everyone was like
I used to drink
their
sweet tea
flavored
Oh.
It was something Austin. I think Tucker Mack was the best. I sweet tea flavored Oh. It was something Austin.
I think Tucker Max.
I'm not.
I'm being dead serious.
Yeah.
Because this does sound like
a high.
No.
It was a sweet tea vodka.
Austin sweet tea vodka.
Sweet tea vodka.
My man perked up.
I was physiologically
dependent on it
for like two months.
Did Tito's have
a sweet tea vodka?
I don't fucking know.
But it was a good drink, though.
It was a fantastic drink.
Not as good as I knew.
Oh, was it Pinnacle?
No, Pinnacle.
No, not Pinnacle.
Oh, no.
I was thinking of Deep Eddie.
Yes, that's what it was.
Oh, that's it?
Yeah.
Deep Eddie.
I'd never heard of that shit.
Is Popper one?
Look up Deep Eddie, Tucker Mack.
Y'all seen any golfers out?
No.
What'd you even know?
I don't think I'd recognize a single golfer.
I met some dudes who were saying they're pro golfers last night,
but that might be the easiest thing to say you're a pro at.
It's like being a porn star.
All you got to do is look average and white.
It's like you're a star as soon as you do your first porn.
That's true.
Porn star?
That's fucking kind of grand of you to call yourself a porn star.
I think it has to be like a studio picture if you're going to be a porn star.
You've got to be part of one of the big five.
A still picture?
Yeah.
Yeah, someone needs to come in.
Five now?
Five what?
Big studios, yeah.
Bang Bros, Reality Kings, Brazzers.
What, what?
Naughty America.
And MGM.
Really?
Metro Golden Mare.
We had a run in, actually.
We went to that dive the day before, and we met a kid whose dad was the greatest racquetball player.
Oh, we did a whole thing on it.
Yeah, yeah.
You're talking about Sudsy.
Sudsy, yeah.
Sudsy Monchick.
Sudsy Monchick.
He messaged us on Facebook?
TJ screenshot it, I think.
Yeah.
He's trying to get together with the boys.
Yeah.
Sudsy, let's get Sudsy in the mix.
He sent me a flex picture.
He sent me a picture of him and his wife, and he said, my wife, Veronica and I.
His ring thing?
I was like, all right, yeah.
Oh, she's the most decorated player in the history of her country.
Really?
She will spot Dave 10 to 15 any time.
All the best.
10 to 15?
I don't know what that means.
I did go on Sudsy Montrick's YouTube channel to check out some of his stuff.
His backhand is actually unhittable.
He just hits it really low, and then it just rolls.
Security guard Mike was like, yeah, it defies science.
That's like a local legend.
Yeah, it breaks the laws of physics.
Yeah.
That's very funny.
I want to see it.
I want to see it live.
I want to see him spot Dave 10 to 15.
Does that mean he's giving him 15 points or the score starts at 10 to 15?
No idea.
Probably giving him 10 to 15 points.
Also why give the the birth there?
Why the wide birth?
Why not just say, I'll spot you 15?
15, yeah.
So you have to look at you and say, well, you're a 10 guy.
Yeah, that doesn't make any sense either.
Sudsy.
Let's spin the wheel.
Spin the fucker.
Let's see what we got.
Spin it.
There we go.
Fart Eliminator would be bad. Yep.
Oh, we got something.
Oh, no.
That would be...
I'm going to say, I think we have too many name wheels on.
Well, are we just, are we just, like, banking these right now?
I don't think we can do a lot of them.
Well, I'll just do it.
Let's see.
Let's just see what comes up.
It's not unusual to be loved by anyone.
I can't physically do the Carlton dance.
My arms, I can't.
That's the easiest dance.
I know it is.
It literally is the easiest dance.
I can't do dancing.
It's like made for white guys.
Rutledge is mad at me because I was supposed to do an english accent for a video
today i couldn't do it can i give you a tip i can't i can't do an english accent i gave you tip
yeah picture where the noise is coming from being in front of your mouth so like american i saw a
youtube video about this you talk from the middle of your mouth but if you picture like the noise
coming from like right here then all of a sudden you just you're british how did you do that because
right here you picture picture picture the noise picture the noise coming from right here, then all of a sudden you just are British. How did you do that? Right here. Because you picture the noise coming from your lips.
Project the noise from your lips.
I don't think about where the noise is coming from ever.
I know, I'm trying to.
I didn't either until I saw the video.
Do you remember all your wheel things?
No.
It's been that thing.
Kyle Bauer. It's like we've got bingo. Bingo. Bauer.
It's like we've got bingo.
Bingo.
I like bingo.
Oh, that's just straight up play bingo.
Okay.
I missed the thrill, yeah.
Let's just play bingo then.
Not today, obviously.
But tomorrow.
Back to the city.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow maybe?
Tomorrow we can maybe get some bingo.
Tomorrow?
Maybe we could get some bingo cards printed up or some shit.
I don't know.
There's a lot of dudes on TikTok that play bingo.
Yeah?
Does it pop?
B16 looking ass.
Yeah.
So there's just a lot of dudes on TikTok that do every single thing you could say?
Yeah, for whatever reason.
I couldn't say a phrase.
There's dudes that do live streams of bingo.
Oh, no, I see that a lot.
There's a guy from Houston.
He's always wearing that big ass Astros hat.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, braces. He's a guy from Houston. He's always wearing that big-ass Astros hat. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, braces.
Thank you for this hair, Ron.
That's the kinkiest.
This thing's got hella curls.
This might be one of mine.
No way.
I would think it is.
No, it's too brown, dude.
It's too brown.
That's not you.
That's not me.
My hair's just turning black.
The older I get, it just keeps getting blacker and blacker.
That's a good problem.
TJ, we got to end at the top of the hour or what?
Yeah.
Or right at 12?
They asked me to leave early.
Bro, you got to get out of here.
Yeah, I got to.
They're probably mad at you right now.
I got to go.
They are, but it's like, so I can stand around?
Yeah.
Well, you got to be the field reporter at mini golf.
The fact that the first time we did mini golf was you know i
don't know if disaster is the right way to put it but it was it was something it was an ordeal
and now we're not a work that nick had now we're doing it live that shit he was he was in hell
for like he had like doing nine hour sessions in the dojo in a dark room trying to like come up
with voiceover shit who's announcing the final product was enjoyable but obviously it took all i don't know if the juice was worth the squeeze is it jake and nick
on the call today yep there was so much squeeze it took so long to squeeze any juice out of there
did you know if you squeeze an orange to make orange juice like almost nothing comes out
it takes like eight oranges yeah oranges yeah you lot of oranges, yeah. You thought that you were going to get a whole, a fresh
glass? No, I tried to do it
and it's like this much juice.
What are we doing here?
You thought, but you were going to get a whole
glass from, it was a one-to-one ratio?
Maybe not a whole glass, but like something
drinkable. I like what you...
It was like, not...
You're not even getting, it's not even close to a shot.
Did you do this in like the
attempt to have a glass of orange juice yeah it's like oh i'm gonna have fresh fresh fresh
squeezed orange juice not even close i like you getting like pissed at a single orange did you
buy a bag of oranges like what the fuck this is my orange i bought like two orange you had one job
so you didn't go long enough to actually get to the store like i'm gonna have orange juice today
and you bought two yeah oh i thought like i gotta buy a bag to have orange juice today, and you bought two. Yeah. Oh, I thought like, oh. You got to buy a bag for that.
Fresh squeezed orange juice.
When I worked at the corn store or whatever, when I like remembered that guy's face, we
had fresh squeezed orange juice, and I think it would take like eight oranges, and it was
like a press.
One?
Yeah.
And they were super expensive.
Like, it's very, like real fresh squeezed orange juice.
And that's being pressed.
Very expensive.
Not just like hand squeezed.
Yeah.
It's a machine, like a whole apparatus.
Also, hand squeezed, you're not getting at all.
Right.
I used to have to hand squeeze apple juice and that would take days.
Hand squeezing some pineapple juice.
Popping an apple.
Alright boys, we got to get out of here.
All right.
Hell yeah.
All right.
We'll be back tomorrow.
Join mini golf.
We'll be back tomorrow.
We'll be back tomorrow. It's a strong, yeah, style of tape. Who wants to act?
It's a yak.
It's a yak.
Got time to talk shop.
We're doing Yankee pop.
It's a yak.
It's a yak. See you tomorrow.