The Yak - Barstool Employee Gets Owned by a Former President | The Yak 9-23-22
Episode Date: September 23, 2022Happy Snow DayYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Hello!
I don't know if anyone's watching this.
I don't know if we're live.
Are we live?
It looks like YouTube is back or we're on both.
I got to be honest with you guys.
I love this job.
I love this show.
But that was fucked up what just happened.
DJ coming out 10 minutes before the act being like YouTube's fully down.
It was snow day energy
it was i was thinking snow day i was like i'm gonna go home and i'm gonna take a nap like nice
friday yeah i don't care what your job is you could have the best job in the world i consider
myself one of those people but when you get told that something is getting canceled right before
it's the best feeling in the world and i think especially in especially in your 30s, there's no better feeling on the planet
than when something gets canceled.
Yeah, free time.
Even stuff I'm looking forward to,
if it gets canceled, I'm like, I'm okay with this.
Yeah.
This is okay.
Free time.
Free time is open up.
Bonus free time.
All right, so the Yak is live.
Owen, Jersey, Jerry, Rudy, and Kate.
What's up?
Another Yakagami.
No chance this combo has ever been to him.
No.
This is new.
Nope.
Gary got trolled last night pretty bad in his spaces.
Trolled all by you.
Yeah.
It was a sad day, bad day.
Yeah, it was bad.
It was bad.
Just didn't take you for a guy that, you know,
uses other people's accounts.
Oh, really?
I've never seen it.
You know that old KG clip where he's like, we're loading up the clip. other people's accounts. Oh, really? I've never seen it.
You know that old KG clip where he's like, we're loading up the clip.
After that Spaces last night,
I'm going to have everyone's account in this office.
You're going to be...
Whenever you go live, I'll be there.
All up in your ass.
Yeah, I mean,
I think I'm going to go live after every Steelers game this year.
Great, I'll be there. You sound really excited about that. No, I'm, I think I'm going to go live after every Steelers game this year. Great. I'll be there. You sound
really excited about that. No, I'm not excited.
Definitely not.
Jerry, you are excited. You're speaking
at a thing on Sunday, right?
Yeah, that I'm looking forward to. What is it again?
Give me a little break from football.
What is it? No, it's just like a
thing for recovery. It's about
300 or 400 people. They attend this
event every year. It's down in New Jersey. So do you have a speech you're gonna give yeah exactly like you
pretty much like share your inspiration strength and hope to the audience and you know hopefully
hopefully they get something out of it you know that's awesome yeah give us give us part of your
speech you're gonna talk about shitting your pants no No. No, it's not. It's for people who've struggled with addiction.
Right.
You're like, I've struggled.
I'm not making jokes.
Don't do this, Dan.
Good icebreaker.
It's a good icebreaker.
I'm asking if you're going to be like, look, now I'm at a point where I poop my pants and
it got five million views.
He's down.
How bad did you troll him? How bad god got him dude he used kim's account oh i mean that is one of his like he's big cat is like the u.s like military where he's got like
installations all over the globe like you like that's like his like air force base and like
imperial cat yeah like kuwait someone did have a great reply where they're like
it's funny that like i've reached a level of success and like in my career but like you can
tell that doing exactly what i was doing last night at like two in the morning is the most fun
i have yeah like i was laying in bed trying putting my hand up i should have been asleep i
should i probably missed out on an hour and a half of sleep because I had to stay on Jerry's ass.
And I was just giggling to myself.
It is funny you say that because when I saw that, I was like, that is something that he would do to an audience of zero.
Yeah, it was so much fun.
Got him with the pickings.
He thought I said pick it.
You got me good with the guy, Bob.
I've only had a couple.
Youngstown Bob, yeah, I went in on his account too.
Yeah, because he's a Browns fan.
And before the game, he's like, good luck. I was like, hey couple. Youngstown Bob, yeah, I went in on his account too. He's a Browns fan.
Before the game, he's like, good luck. I was like, hey, thanks so much.
You too. I was like, okay, I'm going to let him in because they won. I've got to give
respect to him. It wasn't him. It was you.
It was me.
It was always me.
Trollcat comes out of the shadows. He flanks you
with multiple accounts.
It's the
art of war. Maybe I'll show up to the speech on Saturday.
Don't do that, Dan.
Yeah, in a disguise.
Don't do that.
It's my hand.
He doesn't deserve the strength and hope.
He does.
He does.
I don't understand why they're doing this during NFL Sunday.
And listen, I don't want to talk about that now.
That's for my friend of Jerry's show.
That's not.
Listen, it's.
Which has been great, by the way.
Thank you.
It is a great show. Yeah, it'll be canceled soon. But yeah, it's. Which has been great, by the way. Thank you. It is a great show.
Yeah, it'll be canceled soon.
But yeah, it's a great show.
No, it won't.
I will.
Only if it does really well.
You'll still do it, right?
I'm going to still do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that's a good attitude.
But I think it's fine doing it on a Sunday.
I mean, why not?
I agree.
I was just saying if I were in recovery and they were like, hey, you have to skip NFL Sunday, it would be...
Tough call.
Tough call.
No drugs and no football.
Tougher than that.
Say what you want to say, Dan.
Say it.
It's okay.
I'm not going to say it.
I'm just saying I would be...
You'd want to relapse.
Yeah, on football.
It would make me want to relapse on football.
I'd be like, I need football. You caught yourself. Good job. Yeah, I did. It would make me want to relapse on football. I'd be like, I need football.
You caught yourself.
Good job.
Yeah, I did.
You can't troll me.
I almost did.
I troll you.
You don't troll me.
I know.
Jerry and I are actually in a very dangerous part of our friendship where we just keep
illegally taping each other, saying incriminating things on air.
Yeah.
So it's not good.
It's going to end badly.
It is. Yeah. Yeah, It's going to end badly. It is.
Yeah.
Yeah, that is going to end bad.
I mean, the opener, the season opener of the wiretap was like one of my favorite stools
moments of all time.
He'll just ask me a question out of the blue and I'll give him an honest opinion and then
I'll look over to him and he'll just be like, yep, got it.
I was like, what the fuck?
But then you get me back.
Yeah, right away.
Instantly.
I have you on tape saying that you want to feel dead.
I don't think you got that on tape.
Maybe you might have.
Okay.
Whoa.
Come Dan.
Don't even start.
It's like the Bay of Pigs right now.
I knew this was going to happen.
Kate still in first place.
Merchapalooza.
Yeah.
Still in first place.
I'm getting careful now.
I feel like I'm toeing the line of becoming insufferable with it,
so I'm trying to ease off a little.
I think you push it even more.
Yeah, you've got to go through the wall.
You have to go through the wall.
Hank has been making big moves pushing his, but I won't.
Oh, count out number five there.
Big cat.
I might make a quick push.
Also, Merle's still hanging in.
Yes, he is.
Fuck yeah.
I might just start guaranteeing things to people that I have no plan on doing.
PS5s for everyone.
I already said that one.
Yeah.
You're going against some tough competition.
I mean, this is Hankapalooza.
I'm going to have to ask Hank how far, like I have to know how far back I am.
If I'm close enough, I might push.
I want to know the exact numbers.
Like, am I comfortable? Can I chill from it? push. I want to know the exact numbers. Am I comfortable?
Can I chill from it?
Or do I need to get weird again?
You got to keep pushing.
You got to push even harder.
I'm trying to think what to do this weekend.
I have to exploit my son probably.
Oh, without a doubt.
This is through the weekend.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You could also start going on the offensive.
I will not make any more TJ watch.
Come on, bro.
Come on, man.
You said.
Listen.
I think you said.
You got three seconds to pause it.
Scared cat.
No, no, no, no.
Good cat.
I ain't scared.
What were you saying, Rudy?
Sorry.
Oh, you're good.
No, I was saying that I think maybe Kate needs to get on the offensive.
If I were you, I would start spreading the rumor.
Smear campaign?
Yeah, like some smear campaigns.
I think a good angle would be there's definitely been, I think, smoke in the insider trading camp.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
Well, it's pretty obvious that the person who came up with this contest and also made the rules conveniently had a product come out.
Right.
Agreed.
You're right.
If you pull up his tweet today, I replied to it immediately with my own tweet that basically ratioed his.
Because he said, you know, people are saying i'm the businessman whatever but still
get my thing and i posted a video of me in afghanistan i was like well i'm just a blue
collar veteran for the people please like whatever and it immediately got more yeah i mean there is
oh that's oh that's dirty but i love it and it got a bunch more oh my god he had a good response
though he had a good response but like even k a good response. But like even KFCs,
I've been responding to all the big people's tweets with my own promo.
KFC yesterday was when we was talking about if this office,
like if you got kicked out for hooking up with your coworkers or whatever,
like put a lot of people on blast.
He did.
He really put a lot of,
and so I responded cause I banged a guy who worked here and had a baby with
them and then got fired.
But still,
so I reply,
I'm like,
please support my inner office affair baby with blah, blah, blah.
So I've been like trying to do that, trying to like sneak into everybody's stuff.
The case for Robbie to get a new tooth, though, is strong.
That does make me feel.
He's getting a new tooth?
He says he needs a new tooth, I guess.
And he's like, I will.
I'll pay for it if.
Use my money.
I'll use my money for it.
For his tooth?
Yeah.
You know what I always wanted?
I always wanted a gold tooth
right in the front. Yeah.
Like Marvin
Home Alone. You gotta go to the dentist, right?
You would look good with a gold tooth.
I'm gonna do it. How do I do it?
Oh, it's so easy. In my old neighborhood in Queens,
I follow this Facebook group. It's like,
do you want to learn how to become a tooth fancy person?
Like make people's teeth fancy?
Come to this day-long class. There's people you can find in the city.
Wow.
Do them like real cheap and easy.
Wow.
Highly recommend.
But I want something that I can remove.
Yeah, yeah.
These are like removable ones.
Yeah.
I'll look into it.
I'll find you.
I'll order it right now.
I just don't know how to do it.
I'll buy you one, Jerry.
This is the new thing too.
They're like, it's almost like piercings.
They're like gems.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I'd rather-
Oh, you want-
Gold.
You want the whole thing taken out and put in a gold one. No, no, no. I want a cap. It's a cap.cings. They're like gems. Oh, that's why. Yeah, I don't know. I'd rather be gold. Oh, you want the whole thing taken out and put in a gold one?
No, no, no.
I want a cap.
You want a cap?
Gold over the front tooth.
Real gold?
Yeah, I mean, I don't care.
Sure.
Someone might mug you.
You should get steel teeth and be like, check out my Steelers.
Yeah.
Oh, that'd be sick.
Yeah.
Be like Jaws from James Bond.
I mean, I just don't think I'd be that intimidating.
Steelers aren't very good either.
The Steelers aren't good.
They're not helping Mitch out.
Yeah, it's tough, you know.
Deontay Johnson dropped that ball.
It's a big drop, yeah.
You're right about that.
It looks like we have some refreshments.
Nice.
Coming in.
Kim, I sweated the shit out of her yesterday.
We watched that.
Oh, you put that thing into orbit.
It was awesome.
Yeah.
I kind of want to do it again.
You can't just show up to pop a shot like that with a lazy shot.
It was the perfect SWAT, too.
It was just so fluid.
It wasn't even being taped.
I just had to do it.
No, and doing that to somebody is actually difficult,
especially in an office, because you've got to time it perfectly,
and then you also have to worry about you don't want to hit kim in the face right well that could have so it's it's hard it's hard to do it and i've had
a couple where people are walking by and i've tried it and i've completely whiffed and it's
like the most emasculating thing yeah yeah that's tough yeah it's super tough it was well executed
it wasn't definitely wasn't your first swatting when i first started working here at the old
office remember the elevator doors opened right out into the desk area.
Like there was desks like right up against the elevator.
And there was a bunch of guys throwing a football and I didn't know anybody.
It was like probably like my second week there.
And for some reason, my brain was like, swat their football down.
That'll be funny.
So these like, I don't even know who it was.
They were throwing a football.
The elevator doors opened.
I saw the football.
I swatted it down and slammed the football into a computer screen.
And everybody was just like, why the fuck did you do that like what the fuck yeah everybody was like what the fuck is wrong with you why i was like okay like i immediately it
was like an arm spasm i just did it and it was super awkward i love it yeah if the ball's in
the air you have to you have to make a play yeah it was gonna interact you gotta attack yeah you
can't you can't just leave it. Yeah, see ya.
Case in point, in surviving Barstool, you brought a ball out to Stephen Che
and it was like a moth to a flame.
Yeah, I almost got him off that stump.
He couldn't not touch a football.
That's true.
Yeah, I mean, you threw me not a great, but a catchable ball,
so I'm going to make an effort.
What did you think about the Steelers last night, Stephen?
I did think they needed a spark
and that's not really knocking it.
Mason Rudolph?
I mean, he did.
He was number two in the original depth chart
that came out.
It's true.
Look at these.
Kim.
Kim.
We got Kim.
These look wonderful.
I'm going to pass Kim.
Oh, it's not alcohol.
I made these two without the alcohol
Oh nice
Cocktails
Thank you
Nice of you to do that
And also we were talking earlier
It's incredible that you were able to join
Jerry's space last night
Steeler's space at 1 in the morning
Thank you so much And what is in this? This is delicious Oh that's so good space at one in the morning. Yeah. I don't know what that means.
Thank you so much. And what is in this?
This is delicious.
Oh, that's so good.
Lemonade.
This is the best one you've ever done.
It is?
Yes.
Yes.
Blueberry lemonade margarita.
But I made a blueberry.
Ooh.
Wait, say it again.
Blueberry margarita?
Blueberry lemonade margarita.
Blueberry lemonade margarita.
With a homemade blueberry simple syrup.
Homemade simple syrup.
Wow, Kim.
This is the perfect goodbye to summer.
Yeah, cheers.
Goodbye to summer and also football season.
Football games are still hot.
Yes, cheers.
This is delish.
Thank you, Kim.
This is so good.
Thank you so much.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
Ooh, that's got a nice kick.
This drink sucks.
It tastes like battery acid.
Have you ever licked a battery acid?
I was waiting for you to swat it right out of her hand.
Get it out of here.
No, it's very good.
By the way, today is the first day of fall, and it felt incredible.
Oh, yeah.
It was different.
There was a chill, a crispy wind.
It was like 55 degrees in the morning.
I was just snorting the air
on my way to work the whole time.
Dude, there's something about it. It's like
I don't know.
You get that first whiff of
oh, I feel like I get my legs back.
Some pep in your step.
Yeah, because big dogs
they don't do well in the summer.
So it's just
beautiful. Yeah, it was nice this morning. It do well in the summer. So it's just, oh,
beautiful. Yeah, it was nice this morning.
It was really nice. Yesterday was a fucking calamity. I got
absolutely drenched. Oh, everybody did.
It was raining, yeah. Lenny Balls.
He was like, it was like a T-shirt concert.
Yeah, he looked like he just came from Cabo at a Hooters
contest. He also, Glennie's also
always wearing like a bathing suit
and a tank top. Yeah, it could be a
blizzard. He's like the number one guy. I don't care if he gets wet. He's always dressed in case of suit and a tank top, so he could be a blizzard. He's the number one guy.
I don't care if he gets wet.
He's always dressed in case of a flood.
Yeah, right, or a beach.
It was his Moody and the Blowfish shirt that got soaked,
and he was like, oh, thank God I have this,
and he put on a Margaritaville tank top
and he was at his desk.
He really is like Jimmy Buffett's,
like what Jimmy Buffett portrays,
Glennie Ball lives.
Yes.
Yes.
It was funny.
I went to, my friend has like a clothing store and they had a happy hour.
So I went and I was talking to the guy that owns it and I was like, oh yeah, I work at
Barstool.
And the first thing he goes, he goes, you know about Glennie Balls?
And I was like, what?
It's like the first person you say?
And I was like, yeah, I know Balls.
And they're like, I got to know about Balls. You got to tell me, is he really like that? And I was like, I love it's like the first person you say. And I was like, yeah, I know balls. And they're like, I got to know about balls.
You got to tell me, is he really like that?
And I was like, I love it.
Take a seat, man.
I'll give you all the balls, Laura, you love.
And then I had like a crowd of like six people that were all just like waiting to hear about balls.
On Monday mornings when he comes in, I'm like, tell me about your, what were you getting into?
He's like, well, I was just in Cleveland with these girls, blah, blah, blah.
Like he's just like, I feel like he's living the life. he's a jet setter man he's a jet setter yeah he
no he lives la vida loca yes he does he's the definition of living la vida loca when we went
to nashville for barstool verse america we were pulling up to the hotel in like the van so they
saw the logo and the first thing the valet runs up to us he's like oh this is like dave portnoy's
thing right he's like and we're like yeah he's not here us he's like oh this is like dave portnoy's thing right
he's like and we're like yeah he's not here though he's like it's glenny balls yeah yeah
we're like uh yes actually i love the second yeah like whoever the second person is that someone
asks about is always so funny if it's like someone like that yeah i did last night we went to dinner
and i i took a picture for Dave and some fans. Yeah.
It keeps me humble.
You really didn't know who you were?
We were at this Italian restaurant in Hoboken and he's the pizza guy.
So when we walked in, everyone was like, pizza guy's here.
So I think it was just pizza.
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, I obviously took the picture.
I don't care.
But it was, you know, kept me humble.
Yeah.
Keeps you humble.
It's good.
It kept me on track.
Yeah.
Someday I hope to be the pizza guy.
I wonder if Dave will ever have like a, will he have an heir to the pizza throne?
Oh my God.
Name a successor.
Not even, I'm not talking about a kid.
I'm saying like he has to name a successor.
Yeah.
Probably have to be Balls.
Balls I think is first in line right now. In terms of who can fill those shoes. Probably have to be balls. Balls I think is first in line right now in terms of who can fill those shoes.
Has to be.
It's a I honestly
can't even think of a
single other person.
Oh that's great.
That's so funny.
It's Dana's tour but
he's already Glenn
he's a cameraman.
Yeah Dana kind of
made a mistake there
bringing around a
star.
Yep.
He bought a fox into
the hen house.
What a great life
Clay Dana.
Credit to Dana.
He did this whole, like, I'm picking a college football team to root for.
He's made it content.
Brilliant.
He's made it into basically a drinking tour.
And then extra credit to Glennie for being like, I'll come.
Yes.
Nothing.
He's just like, yeah, I'll be there.
Yeah.
I'm in.
I can add value to this situation.
Yeah. To be fair, Dana tweeted something along the lines of, thing yeah he's like yeah i'll be there yeah i'm in i can add value to this situation yeah yeah
fair dana tweeted something along the lines of nobody loves colleges more than glennie balls
that's true there's a man who dropped out yeah i don't know how you grade that but
sounds right yeah i think he's i think he is right glennie probably loves colleges the most
yeah not the scholastic part. No. No. Yeah.
What's the lore of Van Wilder?
School.
School, like reading and stuff.
Reading, classes, degrees, things like that.
Yeah, no, he's in it for the tailgates.
The women.
Wild women.
Wild women slipping slides.
Ripping in the Terran.
The ripping in the Terran.
Inflatable castles.
That whole thing.
Yeah. Are they intersecting with Brianna's tour at all?
Aren't they out right now?
Hurricane hitting a tornado.
That would be a perfect storm.
That would tear the space-time continuum.
I feel like at one point, I thought they were.
I don't know. I could be wrong about a lot.
I thought they were. I would like to go.
I wouldn't mind being an old lady at the party.
Hell yeah. Sign me up for that.
I could do... I'll say this. I'm a little bit younger than you but i'm still now getting the age where
i'm gonna be like i can't do this anymore i could do one night of that yeah one just one just one
you have to be very drunk too yeah tj i'm gonna tailgate with you really really probably not
so I asked Dave if he wanted
the field access that I could get us for that game
he said he would rather kill himself
than go to the game
I mean it is truly an awful game
not for me
I'm excited to see Rutgers fans
it's a Friday night game
but I will go early if you're willing, if you want me to.
And we could maybe just like toss a football around and stand by a truck.
I would love that.
Okay.
All right.
I can do that.
Like 5 o'clock?
Yeah.
What time is the show?
Probably like 5.30.
Oh, shit.
All right.
I think we're going to take...
They're getting like a bus for employees
if anybody wants to go
oh nice
that's really nice
this is pretty much
the biggest moment
of your life
personal branding wise
it's a big opportunity
for me yes
yeah
oh I'll go
Friday night game
Friday night game
in Piscataway
weather
Nebraska Rutgers
oh it's in Nebraska
oh it's in Rutgers
oh oh well then yes
you don't have to go anywhere.
Oh, I would like that.
Bus to Nebraska tonight would rule.
Yeah, I'm an idiot for asking that question.
Is it two weeks from now?
October 7th, two weeks from today.
There's Hank.
We should get him in to address these allegations.
Yeah, these insider trading allegations.
Hank!
The revolving door.
I'm excited for both of those college tours, though.
Yeah. The revolving door. I'm excited for both of those college tours, though.
Yeah.
Like, the Dixie tour is what got me into Barstool,
watching, like, Caleb and you in fights and stuff. Yeah.
That was all time.
There he is.
Okay.
Not so much like pussy and shit.
Hank is brought to you by Roback.
Go to roback.com for a generous 20% off your first purchase
through the end of the week.
So today's the last day.
Spelled R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.
We were talking about fall weather.
The Roback hoodies are the absolute best for fall weather.
Roback.com, 20% off all polos, Q-Zips, hoodies, and joggers with code YAK.
Roback is the best.
I'll be wearing my Roback tomorrow at Knoxville.
Very excited for that show.
And they have new joggers. New joggers out. Perfect fall gear at Roback. Very excited for that show. And they have new joggers. New joggers
out. Perfect fall gear at
Roback.com. Use code YAK for 20%
off your first purchase.
Roback Music. There's been some
accusations.
Okay. Yep. And I actually
alluded to this last night on PMT,
but you are the mastermind
behind Merchapalooza.
You're the mastermind. You're the mastermind behind Merchapalooza. You're the mastermind behind Merchapalooza.
You also launched Merchapalooza.
You keep sending out the emails about Merchapalooza.
Is there anyone else who had brand new merch release for Merchapalooza?
I would have to ask the merch team if anyone asked them
if there was anything they had been working on with them.
Is it new and advanced?
Did you have something released?
We had some stuff in the works they asked us to wait until after.
Yeah, they were like, wait.
That's interesting.
They really?
I released it.
They have been asking me to sell the car sticks.
You guys know I'm the inventor of the car stick, Car Stick 3.0.
When did they start asking?
We have a lot of items in the works.
They're constantly like, do you want to sell this?
Do you want to sell this? I'm like, let's wait. let's wait let's wait let's wait when do they start asking i
i was like you know what merch palooza let's drop it ah but it had been it had been on hold they
had been kind of trying to get me to push it i was like i don't want to because you knew when
merch palooza was going to start i did not right so have if you have stuff i'm sure they'll let
you sell it what um do we know the
deep numbers here how far back everyone is did you share that i don't know them would you get it
i'm sure i could i would say the right thing to do is get a car stick using promo code kate
yeah screenshot it and tag hank to let him know that's just like yeah you're allowed to do that
right i was talking about people that promote that. I'll just hate them forever. But like that is allowed by the rules.
I have no problem with it other than the personal problem I have with whoever chooses to do it.
I just want to know if I should make a push.
I can ask for specific numbers.
What I heard yesterday was that one person at the top is very far ahead.
Okay.
I'll keep pushing for Kate.
Yeah, that's the way to go.
Yeah.
Again, I mean what I said.
Money's going into the Yak Sush Fund.
And then Majestic.
Who's not allowed back in the office.
Right.
So that is a problem.
Yeah.
Who? Majestic?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's not to say she won't be a part of our lives moving forward.
Right.
I will say, again, I feel like people get mad at me for whatever reason just because I'm trying to win this money because I want to win the money.
You'll go on a vacation.
Yeah, which is a righteous cause that people should support.
If I was going to be someone like a stickler that's going to bust balls and break rules or whatever, I would say that you got the biggest bump and then right after there, so you can't do that again.
Right.
You got a completely unfair advantage that if I want to replicate the thing that you got, I'm not allowed to.
How is that fair?
That's like using stick them on your hands in the NFL before they banned it.
Right, but it'd be like if one player played stick them for one game, had 700 yards, and then the next game no one can do it.
Right.
Now we're playing the new rule.
He only said in the office.
If you really cared, you would have her walking around.
Do you want everyone to get one-time use of strippers in the office?
I think that's fair.
I think we should allow that.
I'll be using mine for Kate.
This hoodie, by the way, everyone's asking about it.
It's not on sale yet.
I asked if we could put it on sale.
They said no, not until Black Friday.
But this polo.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Wow.
Those are some blue mountains.
You're like a Russian.
What am I take?
Okay.
Good job, Hank.
Thank you.
But yeah, I just, one of those things,
I just was like,
fuck it.
Can I make a move in this?
Yeah.
I saw Billy and Jake.
I kind of just got
a little competitive spirit.
Yeah, and Billy also
is doing like the...
Oh, I mean,
the beginning of macrodosing.
Well, his charity thing
is ridiculous.
He's like,
I'm going to give it to charity,
but first I'm going to
put it all on a bet.
And if it wins,
I'll give half to charity
and half to me.
He's not... He wants the charity... He wants wants the applause for charity but he's really not he's gambling for charity to keep the
own money his own money he's not gambling for charity because he wouldn't give the he would
only give the returns correct yeah the profit yeah right that's right that would actually be
funny if he was smart he would do like money line on like a minus 17 favorite
in college football and be like
okay so charity gets a thousand dollars
I'm a first half money line
yeah okay
well thank you Hank thank you guys perfectly
executed insider trading yep well
done 500 IQ play
there's still like 300 car
sticks available oh okay once I sell
out they're gone forever and you can use promo code Kate for 15% off?
You can use code Hank.
Kate, I will be taking receipts on people that use that.
Be sure to tag Hank if you use promo code Kate.
And you get 15% off if you use code Kate.
Yes, something like that.
Just try it out.
Guaranteed.
Yeah, try it out.
Just see.
The other 5% is just the satisfaction knowing that you've helped Kate.
Are there any Yak globes left?
Oh, I don't know.
I've got to tweet that out.
Be sure to go check and see.
Limited edition.
Hey, Che, can we play some Jeopardy?
We haven't done that in a long time.
Yeah, let me see what questions I have.
I have an old file.
Oh, okay.
I've got the old file.
Is it data?
Data is broken. Oh, okay. I got the old file. Is it data? Data's broken.
Easy.
Whoa.
Why is the data broken?
Had some poor plays so far.
Yeah, I mean, I've been taking it.
Oh, yeah.
I got a real good one this weekend. I already cooked it up.
Really? What is it?
You're not supposed to cook data.
That's a terrible verb for data.
I cooked up the play.
So tell us what it is.
Give us a preview.
Alright, fine.
One thing.
Well, it's my go for two parlay. It's the
old quarterbacks that are two passing touchdowns.
Three heavy, heavy favorites.
Okay, I like that.
TJ, you want to spin the wheel for the parlay that we have to do this weekend?
That's never going to win, and I'm going to keep betting it.
Quick shout-out to Tyler Ross, who already bought a car stick with promo code Kate.
Thank you.
Oh, wow.
Plan's already working.
Plan's already working.
Plan is already working.
What's the nature of the wheel parlay?
We just pick three random teams, parlay it, totals,
and I think we went one for three last Sunday.
We went 0 for three the first Sunday.
One for three?
No, it's not winning.
We hit all three for a parlay.
Yeah.
Oh, I thought you meant each one of those was an individual bet.
No, no, no. I mean like you did like three parlays. Oh, it's you meant, okay, I thought you meant each one of those was an individual bet. No, no, no.
I mean like you did like three parlays.
Oh, it's one parlay, three games.
So you've only won one out of six.
Yes.
That's not great.
So the wheel is not doing well.
Well, you're due.
Statistically, we are.
You're due.
I don't know.
Actually, statistically, we might not be.
Yeah, there's no such thing.
I'm taking a break.
I like to say statistically we're due.
Yeah.
So do I.
It's lovely to say.
Right.
It makes you feel good when you say it.
Yeah.
Like, hey, we're due.
Yeah, when you're at your absolute bottom is when you play the due card.
Yeah, we're due.
I'm due.
Also, that's one thing they're wrong about.
You can be due.
Yeah, you can definitely be due.
It's like the clutch gene.
Exactly.
Due for a break.
Jerry's Steelers are due for a spark.
Yeah, and what I say is you're always one bet away from changing your life.
Oh.
I think it's like earthquakes.
It's not responsible.
Like, you can't exactly predict one, but it's inevitable.
Right.
Right?
That's-
Like, Yellowstone is going to pop.
Right.
Jerry owes me $1,000 from a bet we made last night, so we're going to put it on a parlay.
We're going to put it on a parlay, yeah.
I told him we could do that.
By the way, all those Adam Levine DMs or whatever,
the one that was like, when he saw the girl,
he was like, fuck.
I think one of my favorite tweets about the whole thing so far
has been the video of Jersey Jerry screaming fuck at the TV,
and everyone was like, live look at Adam Levine.
That tweet was so funny.
Yes.
That was a good one. Adam Levine. That tweet was so funny. That was a good one.
Adam Levine.
That really sucks though to have
your DMs or text messages
when you're horny put public.
No one sounds good.
No one sounds cool.
No one sounds cool when they're like,
it's the Ray Allen.
If I had to go back and see the things that I've said
to like, yeah, no.
I'm so hard for you right now.
Yeah.
Back and forth.
Put that out there.
It's like, oh.
The worst is I always used to get it wrong.
I'm like, I am so dry for you right now.
So dry.
Make me wet.
And then, yeah, it's embarrassing.
Yeah, no, that makes me cringe every time.
Yeah, get it wrong.
Who was the other famous one?
Armie hammer was talking
oh eating dude their brains i did did you guys watch that documentary no i heard the things where
he was like being pervy like i'm gonna eat your brain you're like oh that's weird no it was so
much fucking weirder than that was it about his whole family it was about his whole family
families all cannibals every man in his family going back generations
is like a psychopath, lunatic, like...
What?
Mega perv.
They all have like six wives that live and die
and they all, yeah, fuck nonstop.
Sounds like you're describing the Tardarians.
Yeah.
Like the dad, like, teaching the sons
how to party that way and blah, blah, blah.
So is it nature or nurture?
Nurture.
Like, they're... It'sure. They're nurturing psychopaths?
Legit. A whole family.
I highly recommend it.
If you make one, then the next one will just
make another by nurturing them
the same way.
But yeah, total psychopath.
How many episodes?
I think it's just one.
I gotta watch it.
I read something quick about it but would be interested in watching yes yeah no he's like once he wanted like someone to take out one of their ribs so he could eat it and oh my god oh here's the other thing he would
do he had a private instagram account called like dr beast for whatever so he had his like army
hammer verified one but he had this hidden one
that was only for his
rich Hollywood friends
where he'd be like
driving down the coast highway,
bumping a line,
crushing a beer,
and then getting like a blowy
from a lady at the same time.
And that was like
released in the documentary?
He was like putting that out
on his,
they got pushed on it.
That kind of rules.
Yeah.
Not the drinking and driving part,
but like getting a blow job.
Yeah.
That's cool.
Yeah,
Roadhead is always cool.
Getting a blow job's cool.
Yeah,
you can.
Yeah, you're right about that
It is
It's a cool thing to get
I wish I tried it
That was
Wait
Try giving a blowjob
No no
Like driving and doing it
But then you always
Oh Jerry
We got the big thing on Sunday
Come on
Stay focused
Stay focused
Don't you worry
If there's an accident though
Yeah I mean I would say
Yeah I would be
Well no I think that you're You don't worry because you're a psychopath and a sociopath that doesn't worry about that stuff.
No, I'm saying if you're getting a blow-in while you're driving.
Oh.
Why are you worried?
Like, that's a surefire way to lose something if something goes wrong.
Yeah.
That's true.
That's a risky game.
Yeah.
It's the nature of the game.
Very risky.
Yeah.
Never gotten in a road head, Jerry?
Yeah. No. It's pretty cool. It race. Yeah. Never gotten in a road head, Jerry? Yeah.
No.
It's pretty cool.
We were in the car together yesterday.
You didn't offer?
Could have done it.
No, I didn't offer.
Damn.
Not melting off.
Next time?
No, not next time, Dan.
No.
Time after that?
No, never ever.
I got a good feeling about the time after that one, though.
Yeah.
Statistically, I'm due to get a road head.
Jerry. Driving around. That's after that one, though. Yeah. Statistically, I'm due to get a road. Jerry.
Driving around.
It's like an earthquake, actually.
Yeah.
Has to happen at some point.
A little worried about the drink, honestly.
Why?
Really?
I just don't feel right.
There was.
No, that was.
She made a point.
She didn't put sugar on it.
Yeah, and she wrote your names on it.
She wrote your names on it.
She'd be extra careful with that stuff.
Do you have my name on it?
Uh-oh.
No rim.
She'd be extra careful about that.
She would be extra careful.
Yeah.
She wouldn't do that.
I think it's the flavor of the lemon.
Is it soury?
Yes.
I'm telling you that these, you can taste the booze immediately.
Yeah, mine tastes like booze right away.
You know.
I think it's the taste of the lemon.
Yes. Yeah, it's the lemon. Kim would be You know. I think it's the taste of the lemon.
Yes.
Yeah, it's the lemon. Kim would be very careful about that.
It's probably the homemade simple syrup is what you're tasting.
Exactly.
It's not a usual taste.
But no, you can taste the booze like right away.
I love mine.
It seems like, Dan, you're a little standoffish on yours.
You can have mine.
Yeah, thanks.
That's what I was getting there.
Wait, so Jerry, I do actually want to ask a real question about Sunday.
Do you have, how long are you going to speak for?
This is a very cool thing.
Yes.
Like 30 minutes.
Wow.
But I speak at a bunch of detoxes and hospitals and different types of meetings.
That's awesome.
I'm used to it.
This is not even the biggest crowd I've ever spoken for. Oh, really?
Yeah, and it's like 400 people.
Wow.
That's awesome.
What's the attire going to be?
I haven't thought about it yet.
You'll put on a suit?
No, I don't think a suit, no.
Oh, Steelers uniform, shoulder pads, a whole.
No, no.
Oh, the whole nine.
No.
Is it going to be a Q&A or is it you just telling us?
So pretty much, you know, you speak for like 30, I guess.
I could do probably 40.
40?
Yeah.
Oh, because you just tell your whole story kind of?
Exactly.
Yeah, yeah.
That makes sense.
And then, you know, you kind of open it up.
And like people always want to ask and stuff like that it's a really like deep intimate setting which i love it's got to feel good after when you walk away from something
like that yeah yeah you know it does uh it's also you are a like a walking success story
right like people seeing that and being like look where he's now like he's very successful people
follow him listen to him yeah i mean i i love it i just like you know being able to help yeah
that's awesome it's a good feeling you should put very noble yeah are you bringing a cameraman
uh so they asked me and i i said i probably wouldn't you should put it on your podcast
or put on your youtube that's not a bad idea.
That would be cool. I would just have to
just film me though
and not the audience.
Because there is people that go to
those that don't want to.
You should think about doing that.
Yeah, I think that would be good. I would watch that.
Yeah, I mean I have a couple things
and ideas that I'd like to do regarding
the sobriety stuff.
You know, it's just tough.
I feel like sometimes, like, listen, there's a lot of stoolies that have reached out to me that are like, oh, yeah.
I know.
You probably talk to more stoolies one-on-one than anyone at this company.
Oh, yeah.
I respond to almost every DM.
Yeah.
Because, you know, I'm just,'m just especially like i'll answer somebody like hey
jerry i'm struggling right now over hey jerry what did you think about the pittsburgh steelers right
like i'd rather answer the guy who's struggling this is a dumb question maybe but when you were
going through it initially was there anybody like celebs athletes was there anybody that you looked
up to that that you're like man if they can do it, I can do it too? Like, did you have anyone? No. I looked up to the guy who, like, counseled me.
Yeah.
Like, you know, I never, I didn't have Instagram or Twitter or anything.
Right.
You know, I wasn't an internet guy, you know.
I wasn't really, like, I'm not smart in books and anything like that.
So, like, I didn't have anything.
So, I just went to rehab and, like, learned from there.
That's got to be pretty rewarding to know that people have you.
Yeah, no, for sure.
100%.
Yeah, 100%.
They feel like this is a little therapy session right now.
I mean, listen, I obviously joked about it, but I do take it seriously, and I know that you're very passionate about it.
I want to support you, and it's a very cool thing you're doing.
Yeah, well, there's people out there that just don't understand.
They think, oh, I can, like.
I have it under control.
Under control and I can relapse and I won't ever die.
Like, no, you're going to die one day. That's the most dangerous part, right?
Yeah, because, you know, you don't know what the hell you're getting.
Right, and also the tolerance stuff.
Yeah.
Those are always the saddest.
Like, when someone relapses and they die because they think, like, oh, I'll just do what I was doing. Used to do, yeah. Right. Exactly. Yeah. It are always the saddest, like when someone relapses and they die because they think,
like, oh, I'll just do what I was doing.
Used to do, yeah.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
It's tough.
I really would like to get interested in, like, talking to somebody about, like, the
Barstool Fund or doing something, like, around.
You talk to that woman who comes around.
Yeah, I talk to her sometimes, but I really, like, would like to get involved in it.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That'd be great.
That's a good idea.
Yeah.
That'd be a good use. What's the, um, is also might be a dumb question but like what's the conversation
in those communities around fentanyl right now because it's obviously very scary
as far as what like it being in drugs and like it's in everything i know it's in cocaine it's in
molly it's right it's very very scary yeah worried about this kim drink right now yeah
i mean they're even going to the point where they're pressing um like blue opioids 30 milligram
and they're like pressing it to be like full fentanyl it's not even like you're getting
jesus prescription you know so like but is that talked about or is it yeah because it's obviously
i would imagine it's difficult because you don't want to tell,
the goal is for everyone to be sober, but you also know that some people are struggling with it.
So do you have the conversation of like, okay, you're struggling with it, and also it's way
more dangerous than it's ever been?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
But you know, like, it's very hard to get off.
Right.
That's the thing.
You know, like, there's people out there like,
oh, you're a pussy if you're addicted to drugs.
No, that's crazy.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Which I find just crazy, you know what I mean?
It's just not understanding, like, the human mind or body.
So that addiction is disease.
It's no different than, like, cancer.
Yeah.
It's not something that you're just like,
oh, I choose to be an addict.
Yeah, for sure.
But you have in your you know
I always loved I've always liked saying Mitch Hedberg
jokes on here but he had this great one that's like
alcoholism or like drug addiction is the only disease
you can get yelled at for nobody's like god damn
it Otto you have cancer
son of a bitch
I don't you just quit diabetes
yeah yeah yeah
drop the diabetes
Mitch Hedberg was the best
yeah it was no it's a very cool thing you're doing Jerry it's admirable diabetes. Drop the diabetes. The Chad Burke was the best.
Yeah, it was.
Yeah, it rules.
No, it's a very cool thing you're doing, Jerry.
It's admirable.
Yeah.
I love it.
I just want you to be safe driving because I know that you can't see out of your car.
The tints?
Yeah, Jerry's got tinted windows that are...
Zero.
Zero.
Zero percent?
Around the whole car, yeah.
Can you get pulled over for it?
No, I drive a Kia.
I don't think they're going to pull over a guy in a Kia.
I don't think that makes sense.
That does not follow at all.
Really?
I don't know.
I'm with them.
I feel like they would be more prone to pull over a guy in a Mercedes.
Yeah, I guess.
Thank you.
I keep it low key.
Have you ever been pulled over and they bashed?
No, never, honestly. Wow. Never you ever been pulled over and they bassed? No, never.
Honestly, never.
When it rains, you can't see?
I could see.
I could see.
The only problem I have is if it is raining and like, you know how the water is on the camera sometimes in the back camera and it's like really you can't see.
So I'll put down the window and like look at the mirror.
Is your camera tinted?
No, no. But I'm saying down the window and look at the mirror. Is your camera tinted? No, no.
But I'm saying the droplets.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But your windshield's not tinted, is it?
Oh, no.
He doesn't have a sticker.
I got a Telluride.
What is a Nissan 350Z?
Those are those little tiny ones.
Those are little short.
They were popular like 10 years ago.
That's the one that Ryan from The Office said he drove.
Yeah.
That's a cute little car.
Maybe a lot of people are dragging them.
Yeah.
I never understood how that works.
Drag racing?
No, the wheels that go out.
They drop the car so low that the wheels don't fit,
so they have to stance the wheels out so that they can drive the car.
That's wild. Jesus. A long time ago, i dated this guy whose big thing was the low rider trucks
like the trucks that are like on the ground like every time we came across a speed bump
you'd have to go like around i dated him for like a couple of years shamefully a couple years
and then he was like i have this big surprise for you i have a big surprise for you and all
weekend long i was like oh my god what is it what is it and it was like a I have this big surprise for you. I have a big surprise for you. And all weekend long, I was like, oh, my God, what is it?
What is it?
And it was like just a two-seater truck, you know, and there was barely any, like, it was already tight in there.
And I'm thinking, like, oh, my God, like, a crazy part of me was like, is he going to propose?
Like, no, is he going to propose?
Like, are we going on a trip, blah, blah, blah.
And his big surprise was that he had gotten giant soap buffers put in the back.
Like, I didn't even give a fuck about this truck.
I was literally, like a fuck about this truck.
I was literally like,
squeeze into this truck.
It was like blaring.
It's a big surprise.
Oh, yeah.
That's cool.
I like that guy.
In hindsight, oh, yeah.
He's got the rules.
He spent all his money,
all his paychecks on whatever.
Getting it lower and lower, yeah.
That was the big thing for us in high school is that if you had a car,
you had to get subs in it. Oh, yeah. You a 12 inch i remember my buddy like text me he's like dude
i'm gonna get subs i need you to come with me to the audio place and i was like why the fuck do i
care about this right he's like i wanted he like wanted me to he wanted to bring me with him just
to be like bear witness yeah and i was like i was like he's like dude these are gonna hit so hard
i'm like yeah i can once you pick me up in the car, I'll fucking hear it.
I don't need to be here.
You don't have to witness it.
It was like an episode of Entourage when it's like anytime they run an errand, they like
bring a friend.
They all have to go.
Yeah.
It's like, this is not how real life works.
Have you seen those videos on TikTok?
It's starting to go viral again where they get the giant subwoofers in their car to the
extent where they turn them on full length and the people in the car are like, ugh.
Yeah, their hair stands up.
I'm like, doesn't that blow out your...
I want to see seatbelt titties in those kind of trucks.
That's a great point.
It's rare to see titties vibrate.
Yep.
Very rare.
True vibrate.
Not a jiggle.
Not a jiggle.
Not a tight jiggle.
It's the rarest motion.
There has to be some sort of, I don't know what you call this, but titties on a back
road Instagram account.
Well, there's this one girl.
Those are some of the first titties I saw, like YouTube back road seatbelt titties.
Yeah, no, there is one.
There is one girl on TikTok that I came across.
I cannot remember her username, but that is her lane is being in her car.
Yeah.
And then she just finds like the most pothole ridden road in America
and just rides down it.
I'm like, I like the nicheness of that.
Yes, that's smart.
You know what I mean?
I like it when you discover something on the internet that you never would have conceived.
Oh my God.
Oh my God, that's nuts.
Like, why?
Why?
That doesn't sound good.
Imagine sitting on that thing.
Again, too, like, is the point to attract a woman?
It'd be funny if you did that and just only listened to, like, Taylor Swift.
Like, just rocking around.
Yeah.
I think it is to attract a woman.
It's like a peacock with big feathers.
Right, yeah.
Like, look at my subwoofers.
And all the guys there are like, I'm due.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Did he close that or it just fell?
Oh, he closed it.
He's got to get that license plate screwed in.
He's got Jerry Tint.
Hi.
Got Jerry Tint.
Your car probably looks like LaDainian Tomlinson.
Zero on the front.
Yeah.
It's crazy on the windshield, too.
Everybody's telling him those 15s are old and trash.
Whoa.
Huh.
Yeah, it's a niche thing, I suppose.
I don't know how you get into that.
Yeah, I mean, people have all kinds of hobbies.
I guess, too, I'm always embarrassed if I fuck up on the road and then at a red light,
I feel like people are looking at me like whatever and so i would hate to know everyone
was looking at i guess that's a different kind of brain that wants people looking at you in your car
annoyed look at this yeah this is what i'm talking about these are the ones i'm talking about
hold on. Sounds awesome, though.
Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah.
Like, doesn't that hurt their ears?
It looks like the Gravitron.
Yeah.
That's gotta be annoying.
They're like, yeah, we're gonna get pussy soon.
Yeah, I don't know.
It is coming.
Holy fuck.
This is the year. okay last thing then just looking
at that do could you get off with just the vibrations of sound oh yeah it's like uh howard
stern the um his movie when he when he had that scene where the um he had the girls lay on the
subwoofer oh yeah and then, and then, yeah. Okay.
That scene was hot. You guys see me rolling up in a car full of stuff.
That scene was hot.
That scene was hot.
That scene was hot.
I'm just going to say it.
It was hot.
Brave of you.
What?
Brave of you.
Yeah, brave of me to say.
I'll join you.
It was probably hot.
Yeah, it was hot.
Jerry, you want to do the Omaha Steaks read?
Yeah, I love steak. You love steak. I do. It was hot. Jerry, you want to do the Omaha Steaks read? Yeah, I love steak.
You love steak.
I do.
I really do.
I love Omaha Steaks, and you will too.
So go to OmahaSteaks.com, enter Yak Checkout, and stock up on all flavors today.
That's code YAK at checkout to score an extra $30 off your order.
Minimum order may be required.
Omaha Steaks equals the world's best beef.
Naturally aged for the ultimate tenderness, juiciness, and flavor.
Every steak and every entree is flash frozen, vacuum sealed, and ready to share with your family.
Holy shit, and it's 50% off site wide.
Whoa.
Did you ever use Omaha Steaks?
Yes, I love Omaha Steaks.
Pretty good.
Steaks, they got pork chops,
the hot dogs are actually really good.
They got everything.
People sleep on the pork chop.
Yeah, they do.
People also sleep,
they think that once summer ends,
grilling season, I love grilling in the fall.
Me too. My dad would be out there in a blizzard like with all his hat and gloves on like grilling in the winter time he yeah can't beat it a good cold day grill yeah you get that smell
smell like burnt leaves i love when people have the smokers that smell of a good smoker barbecue yep that's very very good um uh jerry i i just
saw some i i hopped on twitter to retweet the stream and i just saw some breaking news
uh about your quarterback situation oh what you want to play it tj
hey twitter world is me yours truly now oh god a couple of thoughts. When I watched that game
last night, and I
just didn't realize
how devastating
the loss of T.J. Watt
would have
on this Pittsburgh football team.
The problem is,
Pittsburgh is not going to win any 14 to 10
games. They're going to have to score points to win.
And I just don't see that happening with Trubinsky.
Now, I got to admit, he wasn't that bad last night,
but that shouldn't be the criteria.
Your quarterback should be the guy that inspires you.
And I saw the body language of those receivers last night.
They weren't happy.
It just wasn't good, especially Deontay Johnson,
albeit he probably should have caught what I thought was Trebinsky's best pass last night.
Overall, I don't see these guys being inspired by their quarterback play.
And I don't know what Kenny Pickett is able to do, but I'm willing to bet anybody that he'll score more than four touchdowns
over the next three games because they've only scored four touchdowns
in the first three games, and that's not going to get it,
especially without T.J. Watt helping them.
So Jersey Jerry and O.J. Simpson, the biggest Kenny Pickett fans in the world.
That feels good, Jerry.
I mean, he didn't make an outrageous point.
No, he's just, yeah.
But you're right.
Yeah.
You and OJ.
That was a good take.
OJ spits facts.
Yeah, I mean, he's never lied.
No.
What did you say?
What's up?
Did you say he's a good person?
I didn't say that.
I think the mic cut out.
I didn't say that. What did you mic cut out. I didn't say that.
What did you say?
You're going to set me up.
You and OJ.
Lockstep.
Brothers in arms.
Yeah.
Thick as thieves.
You and OJ.
Stop it.
Honey and Claude.
Stop it.
I'm and Jerry.
Who was it he wanted to kill?
Who was that?
He wants to kill Mitch Trubisky.
Never said that.
Well, no, you said that
and so is OJ. OJ just says it by
more like implying.
Right. I've never said
that once. Ever.
Never will.
What do you want to happen next week?
What's Kenny Pickett?
Like,
I think
the Steelers need a spark.
Hypothetically, let's say you're Mike Tomlin
you're like alright I need to figure out a way to get a spark
what are you doing yeah but
wait didn't he buy him black Air Force
ones yeah so it's a nice spark no it did work
it worked for a week it worked it worked
needs to buy him every week I think yeah so maybe that's it
okay don't change quarterbacks just buy
more black Air Force ones we. We can try that.
Okay.
I wonder how much it would cost me to send every person on the roster, 53 guys, Black
Air Force.
If they were out of Black Air Force Ones, somebody had to paint white ones for all of
them.
Really?
Yeah.
They stayed up the whole night before for the Steelers.
Jesus.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
That is crazy.
Yeah.
I don't know.
That would suck if you got the painted ones.
No. I have painted shoes.
They're great.
They look amazing.
Wouldn't the black look better, though?
I don't know.
I have the sad day, bad day ones.
They're painted.
You just want to tint everything.
You want to tint the whole world.
Yeah.
You want to tint.
Maybe that will fix global warming.
You must love solar eclipses.
I've never seen one. Oh, dude, it's literally tinting to the max. Really? Maybe that will fix global warming. You must love solar eclipses.
I've never seen one.
Oh, dude, it's literally tinting to the max.
Really?
Yeah.
Every time the sun hits your windshield, it's basically a solar eclipse.
Wow.
You hoard 3D glasses as a youth?
No.
But you didn't quite answer the question.
What do you want to do about the quarterback? I think they should.
Listen, there's people that say, oh, you don't want to throw them into the fire you know and
risk his confidence and stuff like that this is the nfl it's the national football this is this
is the national football league i liked i liked how you said that in your spaces that always sounds
more official you're like you gotta you gotta you gotta score points in the National Football League. Yeah, you have to.
That's what OJ said, too.
That's a fucking point, like, period on that.
Yes, for sure.
You have to have good quarterback play in the National Football League.
Yes.
Exactly.
Or else you're not going to win football games.
Right.
You can't lose in this league and expect to win.
It's very true.
Yeah.
Well, the Raiders, we talked about it on PMT, but the Raiders are a little, they're having
a little problem getting on the same page because Josh McDaniels is trying to teach
them how to not lose before they can learn how to win.
Yeah.
Derek Carr once said they need to learn how to win.
Uh-oh.
Yeah.
So they're on different pages of a textbook.
I mean, which one are you going to do first?
I think you got to learn how to not lose first.
I agree completely.
And they haven't done that.
They've lost two games.
I hate Josh McDaniels.
I think you've just got to make sure you're not tying.
Start there.
Right.
Yeah, ties are bad.
Yeah, you do like an hour film session.
These are all the ways that we cannot tie.
We can't tie.
Okay.
Yeah.
We're going for two here and not here.
Let's spin some wheels.
Yeah.
Yeah, we got a few.
How does Josh McDaniels look the same age when he was a coach of the Broncos 10 years ago?
I know.
I hate that fucking syringes.
He's got such a cute face.
He's got such a creating face.
That's such a...
Kobe.
Held it. Okay.
Bless you.
Thank you.
I love this music.
Ooh.
Saints Panthers.
Now this is, if I know the wheel, they're going to fuck us and make this in over.
Oh, wait.
Was that Texans-Bears or Saints?
Saints.
Saints.
Saints. Saints-Panthers.
Saints-Panthers.
Yes, yes.
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
I told you they were going to fuck us.
The wheel hates us.
Well, specifically me because I'm the one who keeps betting.
I'll ride it.
I just bet it and forget it.
Like you can't.
Yeah.
Yeah, you can't.
There goes Chet.
This feels like an over.
They're going to make us do another under.
Yep.
Oh.
No, no, no, no, no.
Okay.
Wow.
Rovers.
Rovers. Rovers.
Is the over under the same for every game?
Like it's over 30 points?
No.
Something like that?
It always changes?
It's always 30.
It's always?
Yeah.
It changes.
I don't fucking know.
It changes.
Eagles.
Commanders. Favorite game of the week. That is? You like the Commanders.
Favorite game of the week.
That is?
You like the Commanders?
Yeah, with the points.
Yeah, I like that guy on your space, too.
I listened to the whole thing.
It was like begging you for a pick.
You're like, I got nothing.
I'm colder than a freezer.
Then just as he was leaving, you're like, take the Commanders.
All right, so it's set.
It'll be in the Barcelona Sports Exclusive. We're gonna hit it one week. Hopefully it's this week.
It's gonna be glorious when we do.
I'll get back to even.
Let's do.
We only have to hit it like three
times for us to win money for the slush fund.
Yeah, so
I'll do the winnings from that go to the slush fund.
Yeah, I put a thousand on it every
single week for the show and uh if it's positive if it's negative he just gets to lose it personally
to eat it yeah oh that's a bummer yeah then what's the point well he's just being nice yeah you're
just being nice the point of us can you is a slush fund by definition something you can subtract from
and finance oh yeah steven chay did yeah selfishly attracted the whole thing he is such a suck 100 subtract from in finance? Yeah, Stephen Che did.
Subtracted the whole thing.
He is such a suck.
100%. Nothing.
Let's spin the real wheel too.
You look good. I like that crew neck.
That is a nice crew neck.
I love that yak crew neck.
Every time I wear it, I feel good.
Where can you get that, Kate?
10% off right now. Promo code yak.
What a setup. It is the perfect fall it looks good with like a crisp white tee under it some boots acrylic nails
acrylic nails would be great with it oh you giving the speech with those would oh yeah oh yeah listen
guys i'm doing great yeah i know yeah i'm a sound mind this This is where you could be. I wouldn't know if I could.
I don't know.
Acrylic nails is such a good punishment.
You guys have the punishment market cornered.
You guys are the best at it.
We thought, and then Dude Perfect just seems to recreate it right after we do it.
He did a full body cast.
He did a full body cast.
Rudy Ludwig also had bald on his wheel the other day.
Oh, interesting. He's the full body cast. Rudy Ludwig also had bald on his wheel the other day. Oh, interesting.
He's the goat of punishment, so that's a big compliment.
Dude Perfect probably watches your guys' thing, and they see a punishment, and they're like,
Dude Perfect.
Nice.
Yeah.
It's got to be true.
And then you watch their show, and yack.
We're good.
Which is a cool movie.
All right.
Hell yes.
All right, Stephen, do you have one Jeopardy for us?
Yes.
All right, also I want to, I just sent you a video, TJ.
I want to watch it.
I just saw it, another one that I just saw.
I guess Trent had an issue with a handshake.
Oh, this was so hard.
Hold on.
It's Riggs and George W. Bush just having a chat.
Where's George W.? He's right there. It's Riggs and George W. Bush just having a chat. Where's George W.?
He's right there.
That's it?
Right there.
That doesn't look like his head.
That doesn't look like his head at all.
Oh, that is him.
There he is, yeah.
And then Trent tried to meet him.
Oh, no.
Look how much Navy is in this frame.
There's Frankie.
Oh, nice.
Hat off.
That was a solid.
And there's Trent.
Good shake.
Oh. Missed number one. Missed number two. Oh, nice. Hat off. That was a solid. And there's Trent. Good shake. Oh.
Missed number one.
Missed number two.
Oh, no.
God.
Oh, no.
He got it.
He got it.
He got it.
Third time's a charm.
Those two.
The second one was really tough.
Yeah.
Hat off.
This one.
Thanks so much.
Because Bush W. Bush's hand kind of is in like a handshake spot.
Middle ground.
He's got it holstered.
Yeah.
It's ready to shoot.
Oh, my God, Trent.
Again, that's one of those things where after the second try,
you have to get the handshake because if you don't,
you'll never live it down.
I also like that he said got it when he wasn't even taking a picture.
That was smart. Got it. I also like that he said got it when he wasn't even taking a picture. That was smart.
Got it.
I wish he had turned the camera on himself just to get like the.
Oh, man, dude, that is.
That was tough.
Shout out W.
I still watch his first pitch like once a month.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
How could I not get you fired up?
Yeah.
I love his little paintings.
Mm hmm.
Yeah.
He paints.
He paints.
Oh, yeah.
He paints.
He's like really has pretty great art.
Not great art, but like it's like kind of funky.
Yes, for George W. Bush.
You're like, holy shit.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
He's painting.
Interesting.
All the best dudes in history were artists.
Artists.
Yeah, there you go.
George W.
Oh, he's.
They're kind of funky.
They're like artsy, are they not?
Did he paint Bruce Willis?
Did he paint Putin?
Yeah.
Yeah.
A Putin painting.
You can see the sadness in his eyes.
Yeah, right?
He just needs a hug from Annalyn McCord.
Eli Manning?
Did he paint KFC right there?
Yeah.
New Zero Blog 30 out today, by the way,
and we talk about how Putin just initiated the draft for all their veterans.
They called out 300,000.
And now there's a mass exodus.
All the veterans are being like, nope, no thanks.
And they're trying to leave the country.
I like who he picked.
I didn't know it was Dirk, but I saw the Dallas.
Oh.
So then I figured it out.
This is such a bizarre collection of people.
Dudes absolutely rock.
Yeah.
Him and his dad.
Oh, my God.
Somebody tweeted this.
Is former president the best job out there?
Yes.
Yes.
You just have everyone just respects you the same way.
You get the Secret Service.
Autoviral on Twitter.
You could just be like, oh, let me do a speaking gig for a quick mill at any point.
Yes, I think that is.
I think you're right.
Yeah, that is a nice gig.
It almost makes how shitty being a president is worth it just to have that.
Yeah, it makes it crazy to go for a second term.
And think about Obama.
Get in and out, grab the bennies.
Obama gets probably over half his life to be former president.
That's sick.
Yeah, that's wild.
Like most of these presidents are old dudes.
Right.
But he gets to just fucking be former president for 50 years.
Getting paid for speaking gigs.
Yeah, that's the thing.
Like I would just be like, oh, all right, can't lose parlay lost.
Yeah, let me go fucking talk to these kids real quick.
Yeah, he could like even have,
he's enough time to get into video games.
Like he could be in phase.
Like he could be phase Obama still.
He could.
That would be very funny.
Good morning, Twitch streamers.
Good morning, Twitch streamers.
Today we're playing Warzone 2.
He picks Legends.
I will not be using a cluster strike.
Rudy, you've been picking up Steam on there. i feel like you're getting a pretty good following now it's been fun it's it's super fun
it's been going episodes are hilarious yeah thanks yeah no it's been super fun uh yeah it's good like
the guests having guests makes it a lot easier and uh the one thing that actually does make it
tough is that you guys do have the best punishments, and every single time I want to have a punishment, but I can't copy the same ones.
Having to text Dave one.
Dude, perfect copies.
Well, the only one I really wanted to copy because I find it,
I just have so much respect for it as a very funny punishment is the acrylic nails.
Yes.
Is the acrylic nails.
That's hopefully Monday.
We'll see Ronan them.
It is a fantastically hilarious, because the nice thing about it.
He got it?
He should have it on
Monday. Wow. Yeah.
It's perfect because you have to have a punishment that
ties in happen can happen live
while also being visually
pleasing. Correct. And those are the
hardest ones to find. And so the
acrylic nails is great because then it also
provides you want the person to
be mildly inconvenienced. Right.
And that acrylic nails
provides a colossal mild inconvenience yes stars is yours imitation is the second most sincere form
of flight i appreciate that i appreciate that so yeah no i did one the when i had pft over if i
didn't land a plane i was going to do this thing called the two-face punishment and that's where
you shave half your face including your eyebrow oh my god yeah that one's pretty fucking heavy
that one's pretty heavy but. That one's pretty heavy.
But luckily I put the bird down, so we're good.
That on the wheel.
Yeah, you're more than welcome to use the Two-Face Challenge.
That one would be fucking diabolical.
You could then draw in the eyebrow though,
which also provides some more content.
Yeah.
All right, let's finish up.
Let's do a round of Jeopardy.
I want to go take a nap.
Sure, we got some categories.
Oh, yeah.
We can go sports, food,
or misc.
You mean as in
miscellaneous? Correct.
Let's start with misc.
Okay. 25.
Oh, my God.
First blowjob.
Oh, did you get it
No
Damn
25
Still hasn't happened yet
Fuck
25
I do like that
That's the age
That something
What is
What is first NFL football game
Nope
Renting a car
No
Got married
Nope
First kid?
No.
What is the last fun birthday?
No, 30 is really fun.
Okay, okay.
Such a funny answer.
Give us a hint.
What is...
Everyday life.
You see this number, everyday life. You see this number everyday life.
25?
25.
What is bought your first lotto ticket?
Nope.
What is quarter?
Oh.
Nope.
You guys give up?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
The best speed zone.
Oh, my God.
God damn it. Wait, my God. Damn it.
Wait, what?
25 miles an hour?
Yeah, if people don't know Jeopardy,
it's Stephen Chay's reverse Jeopardy
where it's all opinion based.
You like driving 25?
Those are the best speeds.
You can just kind of chill out,
listen to music.
What?
Are you kidding?
You can listen to music at 60 miles an hour?
You can, but you're probably in a rush.
And there's probably time cars
going really fast around you.
There's very little danger going 25.
25 is the best.
Like a highway, you can't listen to music?
You can.
You can, but are you by yourself?
Your brain is just like.
What does speed have to do with being by yourself?
You've never driven on a highway solo?
You know, by the school zones.
25.
By yourself.
25 is the worst one because you might hit a child at any moment.
Right. Oh, dude, you're going might hit a child at any moment. Right.
Oh, dude, you're going so slow.
You could just break.
No, 25.
Don't walk, you slowpoke.
25 is so slow, too, where, like, 25 is always the speed zone that you hit.
Like, if you're traveling and you go through, like, a small town and it goes from, like, 50 to 25,
and then you're like, oh, fuck.
Like, when you go from 50 or 60 to 25,
you're going 35 and you feel like you're going so
slow. I feel like it's the highest ticket area.
It's such an easy small town ticket
area. It's where I feel most paranoid.
When I used to get off my shift at
Planet Smoothie, I'd just blast some tunes. I'd be
going like 15. What?
What?
It'd be pretty late.
You'd be going 15 into 25? Yeah. Nobody'd be pretty late. You'd be going 15 in the 25?
Yeah.
Nobody on the road.
Just hanging out.
Why wouldn't you want to get home?
I looked at my parents.
I was in high school.
Put it in neutral.
Like, what?
All right.
Give us a sports one.
One more.
Two more.
All of them.
We just got to get one, and then we'll end the show.
Pierre Garçon.
Oh.
Wide receiver you won
your first fantasy championship with.
No.
First jersey you owned.
Nope.
I knew that.
They couldn't have been right.
That was a stupid guess.
First football player you ever met.
No.
Oh.
I think he likes the name.
Yeah, I was going to say.
I think he likes the name a lot. What you're to say. I think he likes the name a lot.
What you're going to name your next child.
What you wanted to name your child.
Pierre Garçon.
Pierre Garçon.
Did he go to Hofstra?
He did not, no.
Clue.
Best route runner.
A wide receiver that also sounds like an order to a butler.
One Pierre Garcon.
You're on pace, but no, you're not right.
On pace?
No, I said best route runner.
Best deep ball catcher?
Warmer.
Best blocker?
Greatest PA waggle fade route
best live catch I ever saw in person
you know guys we should have had that
it is the most frustrating game of all time
we really should
it will drive you insane
this game drives me insane
last one corn It will drive you insane. This game drives me insane. Last one.
And on a food one?
Yeah, food one.
Corn.
First concert you ever went to.
This is food.
With a C.
Favorite summer food.
Nope.
Corn.
Food that stays in poop.
Favorite muffin. Corn. Food that stays in poop. Favorite muffin.
No.
Best vegetable you like grilling.
No.
Street corn.
No.
Best vegetable bread.
Best side dish at a barbecue.
No, you're all kind of in the neighborhood, but not really close.
We're in the neighborhood, but we're never knocking on the door.
Best with butter
corn your favorite thing to stick in your ass
all right boys boys that was that was my ace in the hole shit i feel like that was close too
i feel like you'll kick yourself after I tell you. Oh, no.
We got to throw a couple more out there.
Least favorite summer vegetable.
Nope.
Does he have a special recipe he brings in from time to time?
Does he have like a thing?
Best addition to salsa.
Nope.
Okay.
That was a good answer.
That's probably mango. Most scoopable? Yeah, that is mango. So scoop Nope. Okay. That was a good answer. That's probably mango. Most scoopable?
Yeah, that is mango. So scoopable.
Fuck.
Favorite cob? Nope.
Randall.
We're on the ropes.
Yeah, alright. Give it to us. Let's end the show with this frustrating... What is the most
versatile food?
Fucking A.
You got popcorn.
You can do corn salsa, corn chowder soup.
All right, we would have been here forever.
Fuck that.
All right, everyone have a great weekend, fall weekend, football weekend.
I think everyone's back on Monday and Roan Acrylic Nails on Monday.
Oh, yes.
So thank you for tuning in
to the Yak. Thank you Rudy.
Thank you Jerry for sitting in.
Jerry good luck Sunday. It was a pleasure.
Yes. Yes. And
do you want to say the thing you were saying earlier?
What? About
Mitch?
What was I saying earlier?
Before we started the show.
What did I say?
We'll cut the mics and you can say it.
Come on, Dan.
I didn't even fucking say that.
Fucking guy. We'll be right back. Thank you.