The Yak - Barstool Idol Winners Host The Show | The Yak 6-24-22

Episode Date: June 24, 2022

Congrats to Caroline and John RichYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoo...lyak

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hey, everyone. Hello, everyone. Hey, your host. Hey, great. Hi, everyone. It's the Yak It's the Yak It's the Yak It's the Yak It's the Yak It's the Yak
Starting point is 00:00:26 It's the Yak It's the Yak Hey, you're hosting. Hey, great. Hi, everyone. Welcome to The Yak. That theme song goes down in history with Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
Starting point is 00:00:34 Mm-hmm. What's another great theme song? Cheers. Friends. Doug. Doug is the best. The Way 101. 60 Minutes.
Starting point is 00:00:42 The Way 101. 60 Minutes is good. That's your karaoke song. How about Dun Dun? Law and Order?utes. 60 Minutes is good. That's your karaoke song. How about Dun Dun? Law and Order? Yeah. 60 Minutes or Seconds. Boy, she knows theme songs.
Starting point is 00:00:53 That's my thing. I'm like the theme song person at Barstool. Yeah. Needed that. Yeah, I felt like really what the lacking here, what was really lacking was someone who knew theme songs yeah yeah 100% Jeff's seething right now Jeff D'Lo is pissed he's punching sand on the Jersey Shore right now yeah just fist pumping actually yeah that's what he's doing something there well
Starting point is 00:01:16 um cool uh I don't know if you guys have been watching this week but if you don't um my name's Caroline John Rich um and we work here now hopefully first time john rich i have a question for you is that a long drink are you cool like are you are you sponsored day one no i was freezing cold and i stole a sweatshirt i don't know what it what is longer it's me it's a sponsor good. Miles Teller's canned gin or something. Oh, really? It's good. Yeah, cool.
Starting point is 00:01:49 Yeah, I can't wait to get like a... Yeah, one of my best friends growing up, his brother was part of like the investor group that invented it in America. Really? I've been drinking it since like high school. Hell yeah. Dang. It's your first... You got a promo code, John Rich?
Starting point is 00:02:00 What happened last night? Yeah, JRTV. What happened? What did everyone get into? Nothing at all What did you do? What's different about you, Seth? What the fuck happened to you?
Starting point is 00:02:14 Well, I have a sty on my eye That's why A big old sty That's why I'm wearing Let's play left or right eye Let's bet Let's guess It's right
Starting point is 00:02:22 I think it's right I actually think it's Oh I think it's his right Alright I think it's's right. I think it's right. I actually think it's... Oh. I think it's his right. All right. I think it's his right, too. I think it's his left. Which one is it?
Starting point is 00:02:31 It's right. Yes. Pop it off. I knew it. I don't want to take it off because then everyone's going to be like, there's not even a sty on his eye. He's such a pussy.
Starting point is 00:02:39 I don't believe there is. So there isn't a... It is. There is. You can't even see it. No, I see it. Oh, shit. Yeah, dude. Ew. I don't... What is a sty? Very much a sty. I can't even see it. No, I see it. Oh, shit. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:02:45 Ew. I don't... What is a stye? Very much a stye. I don't even know what a stye is. Is it like... It's back on? Lucky you.
Starting point is 00:02:51 It's a mistake. I've never gotten a stye either. Neither have I. This is my first one, so... It hurts a lot. Are you sure it's not a cut from, like, the 90 beef jerky bags on your bed? That's not a thing anymore, brother. I'm a changed man. I don't eat jerky anymore. You're out on jerky too high in sodium it just has raw like 200 your daily intake so it's both
Starting point is 00:03:12 of your first days um before you know it's you it's a clean slate uh john rich do you want to be john richard you just want to be john i think i gotta be john rich at this point i don't think anybody's called me just john no nobody since i got here no i guess it flows pretty well like a country western like you do look yeah no john rich sound like i mean i literally am there literally is a country western it was in his presentation last yeah you weren't allowed to see yeah that's right you weren't allowed to see yeah literally he uh he's kind of terrible i'm trying to overtake him as the oh he's a mere the premier john rich i think he did some rich i think nickname for me. I got a lot of J-R. Very baseball. You know the Yak has a Wikipedia page, I think, right? We have a section on Barstool Sports' Wikipedia page.
Starting point is 00:04:09 Do you guys all individually have a Wikipedia page, too? Yes. Owen does. On IMTV, it says Kyle's the host of the Yak for 60 episodes, and that's it. There's a website, though, that has me listed as the CEO of Barstool Sports.
Starting point is 00:04:24 Is it your website? No. What is it? I don't know the website. Somebody sent me a screenshot. Probably their website. Look at that. Wow.
Starting point is 00:04:32 AB, Lil Sass, and Molly McCain. Keep ball Molly. 9.1, though, boys. 9.1 is pretty good. Is that higher than Game of Thrones? Yeah, it's higher than Game of Thrones. Oh, oh. TJ.
Starting point is 00:04:43 Be honest. Nine. It's not. It's a seven. of Thrones. Oh, oh. TJ. Be honest, nine. It's not. It's a seven. Yeah, be fair. Seven, yeah. I think it's a seven. Wait, that looked like too many.
Starting point is 00:04:51 Shows do well. He had to sign in to do it, and he wasn't willing to sign in, so I don't think it counted. He just doesn't want to get his IMDB Pro account hacked. Yeah. Adam, awfully quiet over there today. Yeah, man. Just observing. Yeah, what are you taking in
Starting point is 00:05:05 I'm just seeing how I'm seeing a lot congratulations to you guys thank you Owen's fit looks fucking drippy today I like this shirt yeah I like it too
Starting point is 00:05:13 it's brand new Rowan you make me the most nervous why out of anyone I don't know I don't know what it is you were definitely
Starting point is 00:05:19 the Ryan Seacrest of Barstool Idol you mean the gay one he was the gay one the closeted gay The closeted gay. The closeted gay. No, you were like, just, you know,
Starting point is 00:05:28 kind of like, what do you think? Even like the voice cadence, like you had taken talk show. Yeah, I put on a little hosting hat. Yeah. That one. Favorite blazer as well.
Starting point is 00:05:39 You're a great host. Yeah, I was just trying to host it up a little bit. Just keep the ball moving a little bit. Just get everybody a whack at it. Wallow. Okay, yeah. There we go.
Starting point is 00:05:48 Hello. Wallow. What's up, friend? Reach on us. Reach. What's up? Wallow. John Rich.
Starting point is 00:05:55 Nice to meet you. Hi, Caroline. Nice to meet you. Big fan. Columbus, Ohio. Shake my boy's hand. Yep, thanks. I always wrestle.
Starting point is 00:06:04 I'm here. You speaking? I'm from Texas. Columbus, Ohio. Are we on a team together? No, they both won. Hop on that mic, Wallow. What if that would be such good reality TV?
Starting point is 00:06:20 What if me and John Rich were like, and we found love? Wow. You won't. Can you believe? One of you is way out of the others league, but I won't say. Sorry, John.
Starting point is 00:06:33 It's been pretty amazing. We did the whole Barstool Idol thing. They did a week-long competition. They won last night. Now they work here. Yeah, just won a job last night. What's some advice for them?
Starting point is 00:06:43 Give them some advice. Yeah, what's some advice? I got to wrestle. What do you have? What do you do? A show? I write. You write.
Starting point is 00:06:49 What do you do? Man, I don't know because they haven't really told us what to do, but I make sketches. I never will tell you. You don't get told what to do. I know. It's crazy. You don't get told what to do. I just kept walking around being like, hey, guys.
Starting point is 00:07:00 It's funny. She's a piano player singer. Yeah, I sing. I write. Go in one of these rooms. Get one of these guys. Go create it right. Go in one of these rooms, get one of these guys, go create your logo, go in one of these rooms and just start podcasting. Yeah, I definitely think that...
Starting point is 00:07:12 I'm telling you, if you do that next year this time, you'll be somewhere else. You'll be on a whole nother level. But Wallow, everyone's making podcasts these days. What do they actually have to do? No, you got to really... I think it's about not just making a podcast, I think it's about the action outside of the show.
Starting point is 00:07:28 As a person to do a podcast, you know, Ron, but they don't have no traction on social media. Yeah. That's what brings more energy to what you got going on. You got to show your life too. But I think if you're saying you're right, you're a comedian, I don't think there's too many people here like you. She could fill a void here.
Starting point is 00:07:44 You could really crush it here. She's funny too. Also, the thing too with podcasts is podcasts have ads. I'm telling you, I am one vibrator ad away from making money, right? Not you. Come on. Come on. You read it.
Starting point is 00:08:01 Yeah, but come on. Girl podcasts selling vibrators? It's a perfect formula. Yeah, I guess so. What is that? Girls that listen to podcasts probably don't have boyfriends. No, they do. A lot of people do.
Starting point is 00:08:15 Hey, I – Boyfriends? Yeah. Podcasts. Oh, yeah. Dude, Wallo, I heard recently that overall listenership, recently the pendulum just swifted from music to now there's like a 53%
Starting point is 00:08:28 of like everything that's listened to is podcasts. That's insane. It's like overtaken podcasts. I'm on that. Or music. Podcasts because you know, podcasts is you can find somebody to have a point of view like yours. You're going to find somebody
Starting point is 00:08:43 in podcasts and you're just going to love this here. They outlive wherever it's sport. Like one thing about Barstool Sports, people like to listen to sports and hear it from the mindset of their own. So when you hear Barstool, you hear fucking crazy guys talking about sports in their way,
Starting point is 00:08:58 snapping on fucking athletes, snapping on fucking commutators, and you hear, this is not ESPN, you hear it in a raw way here. That you're going to hear it in a bar, you're hear it in a raw way here that you're going to hear it in a bar you're going to hear it in a basement
Starting point is 00:09:06 you're going to hear it in a pub wherever you at and that's what it's about now I got to get back to her this is why come back to me
Starting point is 00:09:13 this is why if you're going to want to get somebody to draw you a logo you go in one of these rooms and all you have to do is don't give a fuck and be yourself
Starting point is 00:09:23 next year you're going to be a big dog around this joint let's go wallah there we go wallah get a logo logo get a nice logo when you get that logo you get a logo you get all your sayings and your slogans and whatever you say you get somebody to design them too so you can have it on the merch and you just go in that month one of these rooms with the tv at what's your backdrop. And it's just like that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:45 You do about, you do about, about 15 shows. It can be 45 minutes to hour. Do about 15 shows. You might bring some guys in. You might go find some people in the streets. Go get random people in New York and bring them in here and just interview them and talk
Starting point is 00:09:59 shit. You know, there's regular guests right here. Regular period. I come right there and fuck it up. I show you, I show you what to do. But I'm just saying, if you do that, you can be. I come right there and fuck it up. I show you. I show you what to do.
Starting point is 00:10:09 But I'm just saying, if you do that, you could be out of here because Barstow ain't got one of you right now. Alex ain't here no more. You hear that? You hear that? Fuck yeah. Fuck Alex. Alex ain't here. I'm just being straight up.
Starting point is 00:10:16 Yes. Yeah. That's what she needs to hear. And I think that that's a big reason why you won the competition because it's like you could kind of reach an audience. How many other women was it? There were four women total. One got sent home right away. So four out of the twelve
Starting point is 00:10:30 were women. And then the last, the final two because John Rich got pulled aside. He just got a job off the strength. Well, you better take advantage of that. But the key to this shit, you can't give a fuck. And you gotta make sure you got a social name. Name the show.
Starting point is 00:10:44 Once you name the show, make sure you get all your socials together. But whatever show you're going to do, try to misspell it so nobody will have a name. Get a domain. Misspelling. Yes, dude. That's a key. Instead of using an E, use a three. Oh, I hear what you're saying.
Starting point is 00:11:00 A pink, if you will. The exclamation point. Yeah, she did. Yeah, I definitely hear that i think like a not caring is really the um you know the secret ingredient here and even during this competition like i mean some of like the stories i told and things like that i'm like you know it's not like it's like my party story that i bring out like oh guys it's my story that i always bring out when there's it's like i think people are just you know well – well, first of all, it's a competition, so we're a little desperate.
Starting point is 00:11:26 And also I think that, like, everyone here is good at their job and is enjoyable to be around. Like, you know. Barstool is not a job, though. It's a lifestyle. Oh, yeah. It's just a big-ass frat house. Yeah. Well, it looks like one.
Starting point is 00:11:41 There's dudes that would never get into a frat. Yeah. Still made it a life, you know what I mean? Yeah. I got you. Yeah. So that's what's great about itudes that would never get into a frat. Yeah. Still made it in life. You know what I mean? Yeah. I got you. Yeah. So that's what's weird about it.
Starting point is 00:11:48 Hey, was anyone in a frat? Rome was. Rome was class. What were you? Rome was pledged class president. Rome got spanked to get in a frat. Yeah. He spanked his ass around at Penn State.
Starting point is 00:11:57 I wasn't in a frat. No. No one was in a frat. All of us. They're putting mustard on my jacket right now. I was in a frat in Penn State. They're putting fucking mustard on my jacket. At where?
Starting point is 00:12:05 At State Penn. State Penn. State Penn on my jacket. Where? State Pen. State Pen. State Pen, a whole different thing. It don't matter, but it's like, I just think a lot of people care too much. I see a lot of great motherfuckers out here that do podcasts, but they don't know how to pivot and take it to another level because they're too safe, and they don't know how to get busy outside of the podcast. You have a daily social media like strategy?
Starting point is 00:12:29 No, I get up and just post. I'm going to go out here. I'm going to literally go out here in front of the Barstool sign and do another post about the money we're giving away and just tell more people to register. It's not about thinking. It's not about editing. It's about real life and people connect with that.
Starting point is 00:12:45 And all you need is your phone. Boris still was built up off of most of the content is phone content. Yeah. It's all side of the shows. But you could take that and just go from that. But I'm telling you, get with these graphic people here and start your shit. You're going to wait, and you're just going to be sitting around next year. Graphic people?
Starting point is 00:13:02 Doesn't Nick do all of the graphic stuff? He does most of the graphic design. Do this. And then I followed you last night and it's just a picture of a pumpkin. It's like four, I'm like graphic design. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:13:13 You have like four photos of a pumpkin on your Instagram. Don't do this with Nick's pumpkin. Don't do that with my pumpkin. Okay. I only post once a year on Instagram. And it's a pumpkin. It's on Halloween.
Starting point is 00:13:21 It's discipline. Talking about. I can't wait till I can retire from social media. Go live my life. He hasn't posted since 2014? 15. I do that field. It feels freeing.
Starting point is 00:13:34 Yes. He don't got to. We caught up. He's just living. You're living. Paulo, what podcast do you listen to? There's so many. It's just like.
Starting point is 00:13:45 You listen to business podcasts? I listen to like Earn Your Leisure. I listen to? There's so many. It's just like... You listen to business podcasts? I listen to Earn Your Leisure. I listen to a lot of shit. It all depends on what I run into. Because I just go in there, and if you got a dope cover, I listen to that shit. That's DJ. It's about the art. Yeah, you got to have the logo.
Starting point is 00:13:58 I agree. The art is everything. It really is. Yeah, the art is... You just poked a punk in the... Yeah. It's Halloween. I want to comment it. That's why you turned them off. That's Yeah, the art is. You just poked a pumpkin again. It's Halloween. It's like that.
Starting point is 00:14:05 It's like that with. Turn off comments. It's off. It's all about the art. That's powerful. Go to the next one. Go to the comments. Did anybody call you a loser or anything? No.
Starting point is 00:14:14 What did he work at? Domino's. Oh, baby girl, young Nicky. He was working at Domino's. He worked at three different pizza places. And Papa John's. Go to the next one. Oh, what a twist.
Starting point is 00:14:21 Is this your best place ever? What? Here? Yeah. Better than pizza? You ain't got to do shit. That's the secret. I guess you're right.
Starting point is 00:14:32 Don't let them in on the secret right away, though. But you know that there is one thing we have to do. I think it's an ad read. Oh. Do that ad read. Listen, do that ad read without doing the ad read as they got it on the paper. That's when you're a beast. He's doing the ad read.
Starting point is 00:14:47 Oh, no. She wants the competition. She gets to host. He gets to do the ads. The fun part. Like synonyms? Are we doing the whole ad read or just the highlighted part of the ad read? The whole ad read.
Starting point is 00:14:57 The whole ad read. Make it natural. Make it natural. I don't know. That's what you really got to hammer home. Be like, hey, what song sports this? Let's try to get a natural segue. While I show him how it's done.
Starting point is 00:15:08 I love driving. All I would drive circles around you. Speaking of. Speaking of driving circles, NASCAR is headed to the Music City for a weekend of country music and racing. Stop. Even Che's going to kill you. This is how you do it right Okay
Starting point is 00:15:25 We just What's the name You take pieces out of here And you put it into your own You make it You humanize it Shit sound like a robot Sing
Starting point is 00:15:33 Sing music city No you ain't gotta sing music city But you can be like You know If it's going to Nashville You be like Yeah this week Nashville man It's going down man
Starting point is 00:15:41 NASCAR You go right Exactly like that That sounds like It's going down Be who you NASCAR, you go right exactly like that. That sounds like you. It's going down. Be who you are. Don't be, I got to be proper.
Starting point is 00:15:50 I got to say this right. No, to make people feel, your audience that feel you, they're going to feel it how you say it. And that's how you do it. Don't be stiff. All right, John. Let it go. All right, guys, it's going down in the Music City this weekend.
Starting point is 00:16:04 I'm talking about NASCAR. It's going to be country music and racing. Nashville, great place to watch all the best drivers in the world, all your favorite NASCAR drivers, and the shortest super speedway on the schedule. Everybody knows Nashville. They got great country music, honky-tonks. Everyone loves a honky-tonk and some really intense racing. Better calm those legs down, John.
Starting point is 00:16:24 NASCAR gets me excited. Now listen, this is what you got to do. Add shit that you want to. Food, they got great food, it's a great town. You can add all types of shit. You can add a lot of shit. I'm talking about super speedway. And then sometimes
Starting point is 00:16:39 if you know any history about it, drop some of that shit in there. You know what I mean? And you just go from there. Alright, let me continue. Nashville, known for great music, honky-tonks, If you know any history about it, drop some of that shit in there. You know what I mean? And you just go from there. Learn hard to say his name or something. All right. All right. Let me continue. Nashville, known for great music, honky-toks, and the Nashville Predators. Honky-tok?
Starting point is 00:16:51 You say hockey-talk or honky-talk? Hockey-talk. Hockey-talk. The Nashville Predators. Hey, he's the one with the accent. I was transitioning to Nashville Predators for a moment. I was in Nashville Predators. Everyone's least favorite jersey in the NHL.
Starting point is 00:17:04 We can all agree on that, right? His favorite name, too. Yeah, terrible name, terrible jersey. Why would you want the Predators to be your – I don't know. A Predator? What? I don't like it.
Starting point is 00:17:14 It's not like Alien versus Predator. Like sexual Predator. I was thinking like Vogel, yeah. Taking on the like dominant meaning of Predator. Yellow and blue is a lame color. Chill out, chill out. Well, yeah, West virginia i'm sorry but anyway so this is this is the shortest track in all nascar it's only 1.3 miles super speedway really unique for the drivers as they will battle it out for 400 miles of action with
Starting point is 00:17:40 the nascar cup series race race the end of this month on June 26th. No worries. Oh, shit, our own Will Compton of Bussin' with the Boys is going to be there. We also got Large, Spider, and Glennie. Will Large. Glennie just goes everywhere. Glennie must live the life.
Starting point is 00:17:56 I can't wait to meet him. But they're all going out to... Large, Spider, Pass. Wait, Large, Spider? I don't like that. Spider was cool to me yesterday. What is Large, Spider? Does that Wait, large spider? I don't like that. Spider was cool to me yesterday. Spider was large spider. Does that remind you of Kyle?
Starting point is 00:18:10 What? Like a tarantula? Yeah, large spider. Keep going, John. Sorry. All right. They're all going out to see the race in person, so that's going to be fun for them.
Starting point is 00:18:20 Be sure to tune in to the NASCAR Cup Series from the Nashville Super Speedway this Sunday, June 26th at 5 p.m. on NBC. Again, NASCAR this weekend. Cup Series Sunday, June 26th at 5 p.m. Eastern on NBC. There we go. Awesome. Walla, how was Chris Brown? What time zone was that?
Starting point is 00:18:40 It was great, but listen. I'm going to tell you about Chris Brown. His house is amazing. Now, the key to the ady is nobody like aries your listener so make an airy like it's not an airy like you're just talking and that's so it can be more digestible okay the motherfucker trying to hear the show okay you know and i think that's the best chris brown it was great it was also he had this big ass dog and i was scared to death uh but was great you don't like dogs? not big ass dogs this shit was like a lion
Starting point is 00:19:07 what kind of dog? a queen corso one of the I don't know one of them things those are vicious too it was big as shit yeah
Starting point is 00:19:13 I was actually scared you know so I would have been scared regardless I would have been scared if it was just Chrissy I would have been scared if it was just Mr. Brown I would have been sufficiently scared oh it was just Mr. Brown, I would have been sufficiently scared.
Starting point is 00:19:26 No, he got his house. It was amazing. He had a million dollars worth of sneaks in the garage. It was just crazy. But he wouldn't let the dog do something to you. No, it ain't about him letting him do it. It's about just the fear of a big-ass dog. Yeah, just the animalistic thing.
Starting point is 00:19:42 Whoa, this guy's big. He was big as shit. I was like jumping on people and stuff. I was a little scared, man. What are you in town for, prod? I was thinking about going, but I was busy. I'm going to try to... Who's all going?
Starting point is 00:19:58 Me. Maybe he's DJing. I'm going. I have a Gay Banger playlist ready to go. He's DJing out and about. Well, you can still send me suggestions. Gay banger playlist? Is it gay bangers or gay adjacent? It's gay adjacent bangers. Listen, what is the song you intro into?
Starting point is 00:20:14 The first song is setting it off, setting the party off, the party starter. And you're going to be standing, right? Is it ABBA? I won't start with ABBA. I'll never start with ABBA. Will you be standing? I will be standing. What are your body motions like i can already i already how you dance show me and where this place you're djing at what's the name of a float it's in the parade brother what's in the parade oh so you're gonna be getting busy
Starting point is 00:20:37 what's a well i'm to be on the knobs. Yeah, tactile. Yeah, fine. You're going to be a knob jockey. What would you say is a gayish song that you would bang out? What gayish song would you bang? I think it's, what's the name? You know, Village People. You never could lose with their stuff.
Starting point is 00:21:00 It's a party story. Who's the gayest rapper you've ever met? I don't know. You know. No, you really don't know because everybody's not. Everybody's not. Maybe like a party story. Who's the gayest rapper you've ever met? I don't know. You know. No, you really don't know because everybody's not everybody's not Crystal Waters.
Starting point is 00:21:11 I don't know about that. OK. What about what about the gayest guest on your show? Their show is mostly only right. Well, it was probably
Starting point is 00:21:19 was wrong. But you haven't had me on as soon as I'm on there, though. Gayest guest you'll ever have. It'll be good for June. You don't know. You there, though, gayest guest you'll ever have, brother.
Starting point is 00:21:25 It'll be good for June. You don't know. You just don't know. Like Isaiah Rashid. It's too late. You really don't know. What song did you sing for Dave when he came on? Sit some of it down, Chop Suey. That was beautiful.
Starting point is 00:21:38 They lay legends. That was a classic. That fucked Dave up. Dave wasn't really. Dave was like. They didn't handle that. I think that was a good... That was a great episode because it was like...
Starting point is 00:21:48 One of the reasons I was happy to have Dave on there because he could educate people. Because everybody want to get in a podcast game and they think it's sweet. And like, a platform that we use called Buzzsprout at the beginning, like 3,400 new podcasts is uploaded every week.
Starting point is 00:22:04 I'm talking about new ones just started on that platform alone so you gotta think it's a million shitload of podcasts but a lot of them don't last past five six episodes I think 60% of podcasts end after the first episode they just don't do it people don't have the time people don't and people is not that up and people don't people just to be scared I don't know yeah I mean? It's just like, it's so many different shows that can be started because it's so many outlooks that people have in life.
Starting point is 00:22:28 You could do a fucking podcast about shit at the grocery store. People would tap into it. It's just about producing it. It's just about doing it and doing it and continuing to do it. Once you got an editor,
Starting point is 00:22:38 it's a game changer. For real, for real. All you need is a fucking iPhone. You could shoot a show every week. Start making money. Don't sock it to your pocket like a rocket. Yes, they will. If you know how to monetize.
Starting point is 00:22:51 You got your YouTube together. You got your merch. You know how to do some. Show all that shit as a package. You know, it's just about if you're willing to put the work in. That's what I'm telling you. You go in here, do like 15 shows first, and then start releasing it. And then you'll see your paycheck will get crazy.
Starting point is 00:23:05 Yeah, no, I understand that i think in um sponsors yeah well i think that both of us like you know the first video you make is not like what gets you on barstool idol it's like you know we've been out here you've been out here with your blog i've been making videos and it's like i don't know how many videos i've made but it's gotta be like a hundred to you know made, but it's got to be like a hundred to, you know what I mean? It's got to be a lot of videos. And then once, and then it's like, you feel like, wow, what a failure. No one cares.
Starting point is 00:23:31 And then like in a week you have a job at the dream media company to make content at. How many followers you got? Well, before this week on Instagram, it was like 13.5, but now I'm like at 20 K probably. Do you got a Twitter? On Instagram, it was like 13.5, but now I'm like at 20K probably. Do you got a Twitter? Yeah, I have a Twitter, but it was at like maybe 20 followers, and now we're at 3K. She's more active on TikTok, though. Yeah, I'm TikTok, probably like 60K now. You got to follow one of the people that have jumped right up on your podcast and fuck with it.
Starting point is 00:24:01 Yeah. Well, I went from 600, had 600 on sunday and i got 17 000 now jeez oh wars to machine yeah it's a lot unreal i used to i would get pumped i would get excited for like honestly like if i got five likes on a tweet i was like all right that was pretty good that was a banger yeah i felt i felt good and i was not embarrassed to have it up there so now so now how you gonna build on that? Now you got an audience. That's a damn good question, Law. Got to figure it out.
Starting point is 00:24:28 I'm trying to learn. Audience right there will buy merch. They'll share your show. They'll go to YouTube and watch it. They'll do all that. You just got to find your place and look at what everybody else got going on and do some shit that's not going on at Barstool. I basically just piggybacked off the yaks jokes to get here
Starting point is 00:24:45 that's essentially what i did i rewrote a bunch of your jokes put them in a trivia owen said come on barstool idol that's not true at all that's kind of no i mean i know i had all my own writing but that's what got your attention sure yeah you might have something like that but then it was that whole backlog yeah of course of course. Yeah. Backlog. Yeah. Meaning? All his writing. Yeah. JohnRichTV.com, Wallow. See, see? But that's the whole thing.
Starting point is 00:25:10 And it's funny that you're showing this because a lot of this world we live in now, everybody just look at the end game. They don't look at the body of work that got you in it that you want to do research on. They just think, oh, I'm going to make this one video and I'm going to go viral. My life's going to change.
Starting point is 00:25:21 90% of people who want the job don't want to start doing it until they get the job yeah right do it on your own what do you expect we get countless DMS like yo I would be perfect there I'm so funny X Y or Z and then okay send me something they don't have anything where's your podcast I believe in proof of concept like before we came to Barstow we was going number one in the music charts we was independent I was going and getting sponsors from I go to a car dealership I go to a funeral, I go to a car dealership.
Starting point is 00:25:45 I go to a funeral home. I go to a tow truck company. Backdoor Bobby. Backdoor Bobby. Yeah, Backdoor Bobby at Springfield Hyundai. I would just go. I would just, this all I did. This all I did.
Starting point is 00:25:56 I took me and Gil, social media analytics, and I leveraged them to get sponsors. Like from the first show. Before we even started that bitch. I'm like, yo, you want to sponsor? $5,000. I was just, and it just kept going up $25,000. It was like, you know, for the reads. I was just going to get them because we wasn't working off of CPMs.
Starting point is 00:26:15 We was working off, you need some visibility, we got it. You know, we're going to take that air read. We're going to take the air read and put it on our social media pages too. Yeah. And they was like alright cool how much how long did it take you to get to the top of the charts
Starting point is 00:26:29 from when you started the podcast the first day that we the first day that we dropped we used first day no the first day that we dropped we was number we was number
Starting point is 00:26:37 we was number two on comedy and we was number four on every on every category you know you just stayed there the whole time no. You just stayed there the whole time? No, we ain't stayed there the whole time
Starting point is 00:26:46 because you know how it go, different shit. But we stayed number one a week on our music and just do our thing. But it's not just that. It's like sometimes the charts, they can help and they good, but there's nothing, you can't measure the impact on culture,
Starting point is 00:27:05 popular culture, street culture. That's what people can't measure the impact on culture, popular culture, street culture. Like, that's what people can't measure. Like, you might have a person, when you're talking about valuation, if you go into a company, they're going to be like, okay, all right, here go your numbers, here go this. But it's not just that. Our shit get ripped every week, and it's all over blogs. They rip our shit.
Starting point is 00:27:22 I'm talking about wherever it's, you didn't see, ESPN rip our shit all the time. They rip all our, every time we got an athlete on, they ripping our shit because they can't
Starting point is 00:27:31 get these athletes. So now, the way they open up, the way they open up, so now, the way they open up is like, that's the game.
Starting point is 00:27:38 So a person be like, oh, you might have a podcast and they might have better numbers than us, but they don't have more impact than us. And the impact blows up your valuation and your price yeah and what you could try and i don't
Starting point is 00:27:48 think a lot of people understand that a lot of times but i know every week our shit is getting ripped they're gonna take our clips and they're gonna and they're gonna because a lot of podcasts that i've seen before we got in the game i didn't see a lot of podcasts do clips the way we do clips like we always dropping clips from our podcast but when we do something different we don't just do it on a podcast page we do it on our personal pages and a lot of people don't do that shit they be there oh i'm just going up and it's like come on man you got to build this shit up all the way around your uh instagram posts i've never seen posts get so many comments. Like thousands of people.
Starting point is 00:28:26 How did you get to that level? I made love to the algorithm. And the way I did, and the way you do that is, the way you do that No, the way you do that is you just keep posting even when nobody's saying nothing. See, people post something and if they don't get a response, they only get
Starting point is 00:28:42 say if you just post, you got a couple of, oh damn only 10 people said something. All right, keep going. The people that need to get your shit is going to get your shit. But if you stop, everybody always stopping, wait for, listen, think about this. One, two, two, four, six. There's eight of us in this room. There's 7.9 billion people on this planet.
Starting point is 00:29:02 Do you know how many people would love to hear what you got to say and your point of view in your life? There's more people listening on headphones than drinking coffee in this world. But I'm talking about you personally. I'm talking about you got about, it's about, just say if you really went hard, you got about 200,000 people that'll tap into
Starting point is 00:29:20 your world, your universe, whatever you want that might see life as you see it and have something in common with you. At least do it. That's Des Moines, Iowa. So what I'm saying is people don't look at that. They just be worrying about a lot of times people stop based off
Starting point is 00:29:36 of their direct contact. Oh, my friends ain't post me. My family ain't do this. The people in my community ain't do this. Oh, I'm not going to make it. I'm a loser. They don't fucking count sometimes. I think that's the biggest thing when you're like you know how we're talking about like you gotta do your job before it gets to be your job i mean it's embarrassing like you know people that you go to school with your family your friends like to i like you know you're trying so hard you're making content you're writing things that people don't
Starting point is 00:30:03 think are funny you're filming them it's obvious how much effort you've put into it. And you're getting no views. But I mean, I think that this is something that needs to change because it's like you want to know what's embarrassing is all the people who want to do what I'm doing who aren't trying. Why aren't you trying? Let me ask you a question. Everyone tells them how funny they are, but they never –
Starting point is 00:30:20 Oh, there's nothing worse than the guy at the party who's like, everyone's told me I could do stand-up. Then go do it. Go do it. Let me ask you a question. Oh, there's nothing worse than the guy at the party who's like, everyone's told me I could do stand-up. Then go do it. Go do it. Let me ask you a question. What comedian do you think suck? Oh, man. That is a hard question.
Starting point is 00:30:32 I have to think about it a little bit. All right. I'm talking about there's name brand comedians out here. No, there are. That you think suck, right? Trevor Noah. Definitely Trevor Noah, yeah. All right, but think about this.
Starting point is 00:30:43 I hate to say it. You're not one of his people, but think about how many people that is his people. Yeah. So that's just like with you. Exactly. There's going to be people that are like, oh, you suck. But they don't fucking matter.
Starting point is 00:30:51 And the problem is we give the people that's the haters, we give them more credibility. And they boost my engagement. Comment you hate me on my post, please. Everything. Get me on that Explore page. Bet. Like that could be one of your shirts. I hate you too.
Starting point is 00:31:04 That could be one of your taglines. you too Yeah I hate you too fuck you I'll give you a percentage I kind of feel like they are the most effective I just don't answer You ain't got to acknowledge them but it's like fuck you Let's go That's why I like Dave, Dave don't give a fuck He tell you to suck his dick from the back
Starting point is 00:31:20 That's what he said to me when I got here He said that to me yesterday What was a dick suck from the back? Yeah, that's when he said to me what I got here. He said that to me yesterday. What was a dick suck from the back? I don't know. Roe was telling me about it. You have to kneel behind someone and kind of like,
Starting point is 00:31:32 you really have to engage your core. It's all about the neck. It's not about penis size. But as soon as you're facing the dick, you're in the front. You have to tuck around so like most of your body is...
Starting point is 00:31:42 You know, he do it. It takes a lot of talent. I mean Brandon Know that Brandon is like Oh my god That's how Brandon got hurt That's why he's not here today He's at urgent care
Starting point is 00:31:51 Have you ever Brandon throws neck Tosses neck When we was in fucking LA And Brandon had to Wear the weights Oh man
Starting point is 00:31:58 The ankle weights Something about it It was terrible Brandon went in the room He was mad as shit I was like look I was done man That was the funniest shit ever He had to jump in the pool Walk in the room. He was mad as shit. I was like, look. I was done, man. That was the funniest shit ever.
Starting point is 00:32:07 He had to jump in the pool, walk all the way back. It was terrible, dude. He was looking zesty. We should spin the wheel now that you're in here. I believe Caroline brought in an activity. Yeah, I would like to. I have an activity to do. This is your show, but I'm hosting it, so you guys have to do it.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Let's spin the wheel first, and then let's do the activity. Because there is a chance when we spin the wheel, Walla, that we all have to get wet. Yeah. Same as when we were in L.A. I got to go somewhere. Wait, Walla, what do you mean? You're on the show. You love the show.
Starting point is 00:32:34 You love the wet wheel. That says wet. You love it. We got to get wet, though. There will be one person that's dry. Probably you. Odds are. Can we spin it?
Starting point is 00:32:44 Okay. Oh, I like the noise. That's fascinating. How we spin it? Oh, I like the noise. That's fascinating. Oh my God. We're good. We're dry. Almost a monster. I've actually never been more dry. So wait, can we play my activity?
Starting point is 00:32:59 Let's play. So I actually want another wheel. I'm sorry. All right. It's going to be another wheel. And here's how the game's gonna work Oh what are you doing in New York? I had to go
Starting point is 00:33:09 Before we start the activity Before we start the activity Because he's about to leave What would you say? Ape Fest? You're here for Ape Fest? The NFT Oh yeah it's an NFT
Starting point is 00:33:16 It's a crypto thing Jesus Kyle It's a big crypto event It's all dudes My sister went yesterday She was the only girl there My little sister went yesterday. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:33:27 Those dudes were probably so fucking nervous. We posted a video of Ape Fashion. It was all dudes. Of course it was. And one adorable girl. Like a tiny girl? No, she's just... Okay, one hot girl.
Starting point is 00:33:37 We take five, dude. When someone says little girl, I just expect a 10-year-old. Yeah. Or little sister. I think I said adorable. You said adorable. You said adorable. If you say little sister, it's a 10-year. Yeah. Or little sister. I think I said adorable. You said adorable. You said adorable. If you say little sister.
Starting point is 00:33:46 Context clues were that. It's a 10 year old. Little sister. I actually kind of hear that. I actually kind of hear. Or when people are like baby sister. Like how old? And it's like 27.
Starting point is 00:33:54 No. Wait how old? I'm just joking when people are like oh yeah my baby brother my baby sister and it's like they're you know they're not babies. You should be. Kid brother. You should be coming up with a logo right now. I think baby sister.
Starting point is 00:34:07 Speaking of babies, as the only woman on the show, would you like to floor for a bit today? Wait, what? Oh, about pop culture, not my thing. Oh, yeah. Whoa. How'd you guys feel about that? I'm throwing it back at you.
Starting point is 00:34:25 Was that a joke? No, it was a joke It was a callback It was her original one I don't think No, that wasn't a joke at all It was funny It was funny and I thought it was a great response
Starting point is 00:34:42 But then her response to the video Was like Oh, wait It was funny, and I thought it was a great response, but then her response to the video was like, oh, wait, is it not a... That's how my mind went. I'm still not sure she understands what it is. I think she knows. Maybe she doesn't know the name. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:34:56 I think you have to. I mean, bogged down. I'm not sure it's for popular. Roe v. Wade is pop culture. It is, kind of. I don't know. When I think pop culture, I'm thinking i don't know when i think when i think pop culture i'm thinking like who are bradley brad bradley pit bradley pit oh yeah jennifer jennifer lawrence oh like
Starting point is 00:35:13 you know you're big you think of this pop culture yeah that's yeah robert de niro yeah that cast is pop culture just like i think of like the hollywood or like Hollywood or the Kardashians. I don't think... Should abortion be legal? I think Kyle's right. I think the only A-list celebrities are the cast of Silver Linings Playbook. That's true. Easily.
Starting point is 00:35:36 Is it only those three? It's those three. Yeah, I guess you're right. Bradley Cooper and fucking... what's her name? What's the girl's name? I don't know why I heard Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. It's because I was like, that's what I think of pop culture. I think, oh, are they getting back together?
Starting point is 00:35:56 You called him Bradley Pitt, though. I know. I started and I was like, I have to. I want to address him by his birth name. I feel like a lot of disrespect calling him, you know, who are we? I don't know. I'm calling him Brad. Well, anyways, my activity.
Starting point is 00:36:11 Yeah, what do you got? What do you got? So today we're going to spin a wheel. And if it lands on you, you get to pick your weapon of choice. You have weapons? Yes. And your fruit of choice. We're playing? Yes. Okay. And your fruit of choice for playing Fruit Ninja.
Starting point is 00:36:26 All right. That's fucking sick. Real life. Is it all sword-based weapons or is there guns? Are there mallets? Have you played Fruit Ninja? You said weapon, so.
Starting point is 00:36:35 It's like all swords. I heard that there was an actual sword here in the office. They were like, yeah, go to Dave's office. So I'm like going through his office
Starting point is 00:36:43 and they're like, oh, it's not here. Go to this studio. And I walked around for 15 minutes. And instead, I went and got a plastic sword. We'll find a sword. And so we're going to play. And I think if you, whoever gets last place, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:37:00 Kill themselves. Yeah, I think so. No, no, no. No, wait. Actually, I know exactly what we're going to do. I forgot. This is the best part. Whoever gets last place has to wear that costume.
Starting point is 00:37:10 The furry costume. Now, did you have that? I did. Slice myself. I did. I've had that costume. I've been trying to sell it on Facebook Marketplace for about a couple weeks now. How much are you asking for that costume?
Starting point is 00:37:22 Wait, why did you have it? I did an ad where they wanted, like, some Bloomingdales. Asked me to do an ad. Like, they had a bunch of bunny costumes that they had bought because they wanted me to be the Easter bunny, and that was one of them. And once they saw it in person, they were like, we don't want this.
Starting point is 00:37:39 So they reach out to you, like, hey, can you do this ad for however much money and just post it on TikTok? Yeah. There she is so let's let's get i'll get the i'm not even going to front i want that really bad how are we going to determine who loses though just put it on over here i think it'll be obvious whoever like doesn't hit their fruit you get one shot okay okay and who's tossing so um pick our fruit uh oh i'm on the wheel. Yeah. You better be. Oh, I didn't realize I had to participate.
Starting point is 00:38:09 Hostess. So one of the things that you can get, you can get pineapple. Great. Jesus Christ. That would be so hard to slice. I don't know what this is. It looks like a cast member of SpongeBob. I've seen this.
Starting point is 00:38:21 It looks fake. It's one of the cast members. This is one of the cast. I love your work. It looks fake. This is one of the cast members. This is one of the cast. I love your work. Here is a melon. Standard melon. Wait, can you...
Starting point is 00:38:33 The sound of that hitting was not what I expected. I didn't know what this was and I was trying to check out and I was like, it's some sort of melon and the woman goes, ma'am, that's a squash. It's a squash? Those are like the hardest fruits. How are we about to with these plastic knives? I trust you.
Starting point is 00:38:49 Someone's not even going to hit it and that person obviously loses. That's an avocado. This is an avocado. How did you say it? DJ, maybe for a title, the Barstool Yak takes you into Pride Weekend by slaughtering fruit. There it is. Slaughtering fruits.
Starting point is 00:39:04 Mango. Watering fruit. Mango. Okay. Watermelon. Nice. Already sliced. Banana. Okay, I can slice that. And we have one mystery.
Starting point is 00:39:16 I'll let you guys decide. Do you guys want to see this one? I think I know what it is. Can you smell it? Yeah. The Dorian. The grape. It's one grape. What is it Can you smell it? Yeah. The Dorian? The grape. It's one grape.
Starting point is 00:39:26 Ooh. What is it? That would have been good. No, I spent like a hundred bucks on that. Welcome to the studio. That's how it works. So, no, no, no. This last one, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:39:39 I almost don't want to give it. I'll give it away. The last one is a rotisserie chicken. Oh. Yeah. Okay. So I don't know, I mean, I don't know if we should play in here or where we should play or if you should go out there and do it.
Starting point is 00:39:55 So first of all, you're putting more effort into this show than we ever have. Thank you. I respect you. I think John Rich has seen enough episodes to vouch for that. Yeah. We got a sword that lights up. Wait, I don't know how to turn it on. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:40:07 The guy at the store told me. This is probably the worst audio ever. I'm so sorry. Well, no, we're not audio heavy. You know, I don't. We did an episode on people trying to guess what candy we were chewing. We're more of a YT show. The answer won't surprise you.
Starting point is 00:40:20 It was reasons. It was reasons. Okay. Here we go. Oh, you did spend money. Do you think that is enough to slice a fruit was a reason. Okay. There we go. Oh, you did spend money. Do you think that is enough to slice a fruit? Definitely not. And then we have two other weapons.
Starting point is 00:40:30 Oh, hell yeah. So we're spinning the wheel to draft our weapon. But we only have three weapons? Oh, that's a fun one. I'll just use that. We got one more in here. And I brought this.
Starting point is 00:40:46 Oh, nice. There we go. This is going to be awesome. Wait, wait, wait. Did you take the subway into work today? Yeah, but what? People were probably very scared. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:56 It was like a bunch of knives. Well, I also wore the bunny costume on the subway. They either were very scared or it was exactly what she was going to do. That's why I never feel unsafe on the subway, because you wear that. You're the one that knocks. You're the subway scary person. Right. How are we working the wheel?
Starting point is 00:41:14 Well, I think, number one, I'm not on it. Yes, you are. Yeah, you are. Okay, let's spin it. Let's spin it. For what? If it lands on you, you get to pick your fruit and your weapon. Only one person per fruit.
Starting point is 00:41:26 I think you play right away. Well, actually, if someone doesn't hit their fruit, you can pick their fruit. Interceding. Let's go. Uh-oh, uh-oh. Sassy. All right, I'll do the banana, I guess. Yeah, that's the best choice.
Starting point is 00:41:41 I will do the... I think we should spin another wheel to pick the weapon. Okay. And have hand on there as well. Are you the host? I'm just kidding. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. That's an idea.
Starting point is 00:41:53 I'm getting a call from Anna Walt, West Virginia. Where's that? Yeah, they call me a lot. What? They call me more than you. What if we spin the wheel and whoever it lands on gets to pick Sass's weapon. Sounds like a great idea. Okay, let's spin it.
Starting point is 00:42:07 You're hosting. All right. He's going to use his little peener. All right, Sass. I want Sass to use the two handed pizza cutter you look so fucking cool cool podcaster move
Starting point is 00:42:32 they were out late I actually wasn't out late you look like you might be dead it's like a weekend at bernie's kind of look I don't know why I was taking my headphones off we just had that on the sass soundboard It's like a Weekend at Bernie's kind of look. I don't know why I was taking my headphones off. We just had that on the SAS soundboard. I don't know why I was taking my headphones off. Are you going to do two-hand or one-hand it?
Starting point is 00:42:57 Wait, so does he have to cut it? Yeah. I'm really worried about him cutting off a hand. It's got to be two hands, right? You should kneel in front of him like you're about to get slaughtered. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Wait, line up and kneel in front of him.
Starting point is 00:43:17 Yeah. Wait, I'm afraid. I'm afraid because we're going to put a bag over my head. You can use one hand. He said two hands. I don't think there's rules. Two hands seems easy. He's not going to cut it, though, if it's two hands.
Starting point is 00:43:31 Because he'll have to push. Yeah, I like that. You got to kneel. You have to kneel. I like this music. Can you freestyle over this while we... Damn, this is sick. But I feel like I would distract the boys.
Starting point is 00:43:47 Oh! Well, Sass is safe Wait, that was sick That was actually really sick I didn't expect it to be that clean Like, actually really pleasing How is this not a sport? I enjoyed that a lot more than I anticipated I want to go now
Starting point is 00:44:02 Yeah, really, I'm looking forward to this now. We all get to use that one. You get to use the good weapon. We're not using the plastic one. For the sake of time. Really? But it was so satisfying to get that cut. Let's go in order. Kyle will go next. We'll spin the wheel to who picks the weapon.
Starting point is 00:44:21 I've got to meet with my attorney at 2. For the sake of time. What are you talking about? Why are you trying to end the show my attorney is coming in at 2 bring him in here let's slow this down let's do it right let's pick the fruits the fruits are more fun
Starting point is 00:44:35 we all get the same weapon yeah I agree maybe you pick your own weapon you guys need the effort I did to get that sword you know what I mean? I don't want to, yeah. It's okay. You guys are feeling a little too overly confident after you saw me.
Starting point is 00:44:49 I think that we spin on who gets to pick KB's fruit. I really hope Sass is the only one that did it. Why are we going left to right? Why are we not letting the wheel decide? Let the wheel decide. Let the wheel decide. I need the water. Left to right?
Starting point is 00:45:00 Oh, we're... Wait. Nick's not on there? KB, what's wrong with you? You're right. Yeah, what the fuck? Why is Nick not on there? KB, what's wrong with you? Yeah, what the fuck? Oh, he took me off for picking the weapon. Oh, we gotta get Nick back on there. What is tap out?
Starting point is 00:45:13 So it's your turn, but who picks his fruit? I'll say he got seasick from drinking a tap out pre-workout. He's only calling it tap out medication, though. What is tap out medication? I don't know. I'm assuming the streetwear tap-out made workout supplements and he took them. You pick Roan's fruit.
Starting point is 00:45:32 I pick his fruit? He's seasick. I want Roan to slice the squash. Oh, that's fucked up. Yeah. That's tough. What is tap-out medication? Tap-out workout supplements?
Starting point is 00:45:43 What is the tap-out medication? What does it have you... These THC gummies. They're too strong. And did you take them? Oh, they're called tap outs. No, I vibrated to sleep last night. I was vibrating like a phone on vibrate.
Starting point is 00:46:00 That's a good explanation. Yeah, it's still well. I'm still fucked up. No shit. Yeah. Did Roan get it? Okay, who's pointing out there? That's my attorney, Stinky Tony.
Starting point is 00:46:14 Oh, fuck. I didn't even smell him when he came in. This is going to come right at me. Yeah, I'm scared. Oh, I don't know if that's better. That was sassy. You looked terrible in that, by the way. That looks worse.
Starting point is 00:46:38 Oh, yeah! That one was good. He nicked it. You barely clipped that. That was nice, though. But you're still safe That was clean You're still safe
Starting point is 00:46:46 That looks sharp That is a sharp weapon Yeah Yeah you can take it home Bro that is a beautiful slice You have there A little too close to me That is
Starting point is 00:46:55 Oh That may have been The impact of the ground Sheesh Holy shit. That was pretty good. Those are set hemispheres. It's kind of gorgeous inside.
Starting point is 00:47:09 It's a good squash. He gave it the prime meridian. That was a good one. Yeah. Not bad. You should ask Big Cat for one of those 4K slow-mo cameras. My heart was pounding. That would be so sick.
Starting point is 00:47:26 That would be awesome. I think you sliced those. Did I? I don't know if I did. It felt like you did. It kind of smells good. It smells great. TJ, are those ridiculously expensive?
Starting point is 00:47:38 In our system, yeah, probably like 20K. I don't know. Or you mean like the walking around. That ain't much. Anything. Like they use for the NFL end zones? Just any of those super slow-mo ones. Yeah, we'll get one for Monday.
Starting point is 00:47:50 All right, thank you. Thank you, TJ. TJ, I guess you could just buy it, right? You won it. After last night, they gave me a $500,000 raise. Amazing. Beautiful. After taxes.
Starting point is 00:48:01 Let's spin the wheel. Spin the wheel again. The watermelon. Go ahead. Caroline, kudos to you. This is a blast. Okay, when I pulled it out, I was like, after taxes spin the wheel spin the wheel again the watermelon Caroline kudos to you this is a blast okay when I pulled it out I was like
Starting point is 00:48:08 I think I might have ruined the show in my middle school with the plastic sword I was like this is gonna be fucked I feel like the sword would break with some of them
Starting point is 00:48:17 also I feel like this is like a middle school lunch table it is except for the knife part I get the sword I think I know where the sword is for all the kids that like a bunch the sword. I think I know where the sword is. Okay, Owen.
Starting point is 00:48:26 Did I? You were right on assignment. Yeah, you can have the sword. No, I think I know where the real sword is. Oh, go get the real sword. There's a real sword. No one could find it. I think it's over by... It's a blade that says... Where? Because I'll tell you if I look.
Starting point is 00:48:43 Yeah, it's a full-sized blade, right? It's about a hand and a half katana. I had like three people help me find it. It is a Nippon steel. So Owen's up. Do I pick a fruit? It's folded a thousand times. No, someone picks it for you.
Starting point is 00:48:57 I'm going to get the sword. Is it really going to be Nick again? Nick is the best. Is it the watermelon? Is it the pineapple? Is it the... Is it the watermelon? Is it the pineapple? Is it the... Is it the watermelon? You got this.
Starting point is 00:49:12 You want to take the plastic covering off? No, keep it on. It'll be fine. Less of a mess, honestly. Keep your eye on the ball. You got a different knife. We picked the different knife. You could stab it. Don't ruin this cute outfit. Catch it on the ball. You got a different knife. We picked the different knife. You could stab it.
Starting point is 00:49:26 Don't ruin this cute outfit. Catch it on the... Oh, you stabbed it. Yeah, and if you catch it on the knife. Don't take a step forward so it doesn't hit the TV. Oh, if you catch it. Take a step forward, they say. You might still hate being behind a knife.
Starting point is 00:49:37 Yeah, same. I really hope it doesn't fly off and hit my face. Oh! So in. Yes. Well done, brother. That was by far the best one. Yes. oh so in yes well done brother that was by far the best one
Starting point is 00:49:49 yes yo that was fucking sick that was sick damn fuck yeah I'm really excited to do this
Starting point is 00:49:55 oh and I bought a thing of watermelon if you want some oh yeah watermelon I was gonna have some though oh in
Starting point is 00:50:02 take a bite out of that. It looks good. I love it. What did you search to find this song? Ninja music, non-copyright. Great. Good work.
Starting point is 00:50:23 Fuck it. I'll splurge for the copyright ninja music Yeah We got a dagger Okay dagger works At least it looks My attorney is My attorney is paying me I have to pay him by the hour
Starting point is 00:50:36 So Why don't we just let you go No it's fine No it's fine How much an hour Like It's ridiculous Tell Sash to read what that blade says on it Sash can you much an hour? Like, it's ridiculous. Tell Sash to read what that blade says on it.
Starting point is 00:50:47 Sash, can you read what the blade says on it? No. Can't. Oh, is it? What is it? It's medieval. It's an ancient sword. Something with Eva Lestul on it.
Starting point is 00:51:03 It's a real sword. Assuming that belongs to Fastuli Rush Alpha Sigma Phi UNC Charlotte Viva La Stool Hell yeah Cool Should we spin? Let's spin It was
Starting point is 00:51:20 No one's picked the rotisserie chicken yet Vibes are back The chicken will bring the vibes back. No, you're just picking the fruit. That's my job. Okay. It's your turn, KB. Someone's got to pick your fruit, though.
Starting point is 00:51:37 What weapon do you want? KB is going to accidentally slice himself in half. His torso slides slowly. It's like Kill Bill. John Rich. Your choice. Boy. People gonna be upset if I choose the chicken?
Starting point is 00:51:58 No. That's what they want. We're choosing the chicken then. Should we do the chicken? Is it gonna get all messy in here? Yeah, that's what my fear is. Already, yeah. Everyone told me it was okay. I was like, can I even do this?
Starting point is 00:52:10 Mango, mango, mango. All right, well then I got to move again. Not trying to be in the hit zone with the chicken. Why is the studio so chicken? Try to get the juicy part off. Try to not do the juicy part. It smells. Yeah, do the juicy part off. Try to not do the juicy part. It smells. Yeah, do the pineapple.
Starting point is 00:52:29 Yeah. We'll just put the rotisserie chicken in the fridge. Oh! It's kind of, are mangoes supposed I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous I'm going to miss. Everybody's been doing too good. That's a dragon fruit. Not a mango. That's a guava. That's a guava.
Starting point is 00:53:03 I think that's ginkgo alright yeah spin it a replay let's do a replay oh the form was sloppy
Starting point is 00:53:18 but I got it I liked it I thought it was good pretty good look at that clean cut I mean yeah you can't deny that
Starting point is 00:53:24 it's a satisfying cut it looks delicious have you seen the boys on tiktok who wake their girlfriends up with fresh fruit like period supplements yeah they live in the jungle yeah there's this whole new type where did rome go they live in the jungle yeah they live in like canopies in haribian and they wake them up with their vitamins and fruit. Roan is meeting with my attorney as well and suing Roan. You want a challenge? Jerry's been out of stalemate for
Starting point is 00:53:59 who's the crazier ass white boy. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I've already worn it all morning. Yeah. It's more funny. Give me those.
Starting point is 00:54:11 It's funnier. All right, Caroline. There's a pit in the middle of that, though, so you've got to strategically hit it. Tony. Tony, grab it.
Starting point is 00:54:19 It's you. Woo-hoo. Ew. Oh, gross. Ew. No, you smell great, man. Why does it smell like Tony? Yes!
Starting point is 00:54:30 All right. Damn, we good. Thank God. Did you ever realize? Yeah. Okay, thank God. I was worried about that. All right.
Starting point is 00:54:39 You can sit here. Well, Tony, what do you got? Nick just told me to come by. You have to tell people when, you have to tell security when coming by. What is this? I left the picture with the security guard. Yeah. I thought if I was on the act when he swung by. But wait. I'm Nick's friend. He was like, oh, I know who you are. So if we could go to the security guard, I just wrote, if you could, Anthony, hold that up. I had an arrow pointing to you that just said brown, and then I handed it to the security guard,
Starting point is 00:55:09 and then I wrote hair on it really quick. Oh, shit. Yeah, it wasn't great. You knew exactly who I was. You got the nose down perfectly. It's how you look exactly. Tony, how did you earn the nickname Stinky Tone? Yeah, when was this?
Starting point is 00:55:22 Because you don't appear stinky at all. You don't appear, but I can tell. It's a long story, you Because you don't appear stinky at all. You don't appear, but I can tell. It's a long story, you know. It's not long at all. Nico called shotgun. Anthony didn't give it to him, and Nico said,
Starting point is 00:55:33 don't be careful. I'm going to give you a nickname that'll stick. That was it. There it is. He smells good, but he's stinky Tony. You regret not giving him shotgun,
Starting point is 00:55:44 or what? I didn't think it would catch on. It caught on like wildfire. Well, it's got to be nice. People expect these green odor lines when you show up, and you're a handsome guy. You kind of exceed expectations off the bat. You set the bar low.
Starting point is 00:55:57 Yeah. Anthony was my roommate in Columbus for a very long time. He was actually there when we met John Rich, and John Rich blogged about meeting me. Oh, shit. He was like, oh, Nick introduced me to his friend, but his friend isn't relevant on the internet, so it didn't matter. That was you? I appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:56:16 I really don't remember you at all. He's so forgettable. I'm not a memorable guy. No defining features. Features are brown hair and a sundial for a nose. Yeah. Oh, man. You want to slash a fruit or something? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:56:32 You want to be my champion? I like you. You're on the wheel. Here we go. They kind of boy name to you, Stinky Tony. You kind of transcend anything they say about you. It's Tony with two ends no no oh it's funny never is Anthony actually is my attorney my my stinky turn stinky attorney
Starting point is 00:56:53 attorney at law so how come Nick doesn't make more money then if you're his lawyer I know we'll be in talks about that soon that's why he's here you're gonna march into Dave's office that's right that's why Wallow's here too no conversation about that soon. That's why he's here. We're going to march into Dave's office. That's right. That's why Wallo's here, too. I have a conversation about that. All right, let's spin the wheel, and let's get Tony slashing some fruit. Oh, we're slashing fruit? Yeah, dude, it's sick. Or a chicken.
Starting point is 00:57:15 Or a chicken. Or a chicken, yeah. This is going to be so easy. There we go. God damn it. I've been wanting to do this so bad. I know, me too. I'm dying to do it. What weapon do I use?
Starting point is 00:57:25 Draft, you pick. Pick a weapon. You pick your weapon. What, the dagger? Yeah, it's more of a piercing weapon. Yeah, go with the magic. Yeah, let him dagger it. Maybe give him a crowbar, stinky Tanya.
Starting point is 00:57:36 Oh, Harding. We should have got a baseball bat in the mix. That would be nice. There were a lot of baseball bats around here. I'm picking your fruit. Have him lance that napple. Pineapple. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:55 You got to try it. You got to try it. We've all sliced ours. Slice. Slice. I want to see if you can grab it and catch it. Dealer's choice, really. Oh, you can go for it.
Starting point is 00:58:09 I want that. Ooh. Oh, that's... Oh, dude, this is not his first time. Look at how he's holding it with his... You look really good. You've daggered before. You look very good holding that.
Starting point is 00:58:18 Like a Jamaican dude. I'm so scared yeah wait till it's in the air then pull it out oh that was good that was good your hand hit it
Starting point is 00:58:35 so I mean that is technically contact but let him run it back run it back he's gonna have to wear the bunny suit you have to wear the bunny
Starting point is 00:58:42 you have to wear the bunny suit during your meeting. It's dripping. Let him try again. Ah! Not bad. That's a proper Pierce. That is a proper Pierce.
Starting point is 00:59:03 Claire's in here. Holy fuck. Alright, John, I think you're up. What the fuck? Let's see if John can pierce. I don't even need to go anymore. That's all I wanted to see was exactly what you did right there. Oh, yeah, we got...
Starting point is 00:59:16 Airline up. I think you're just... Damn it. Oh, this has been a blast. Yeah, this is awesome. Let's go, Nick. What do you want, Nick? Guys, even if it's not that good.
Starting point is 00:59:30 Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's been... And let's see who's picking. Okay. John, all right. Back to back. Or the chicken. That one's the cutest. Yeah, that's a difficult one to slice.
Starting point is 00:59:56 Piss on your hands like Moises Alou. I think you should swipe up. Ooh. Swipe up. That's how the Gaia goes through the roof. Oh! Not bad at all. Not bad Swipe up. That's how the guy goes through the roof. Oh! Not bad at all. Not bad.
Starting point is 01:00:08 Not bad. That one was the most silent maybe. Yep. Going down is the call because you have the most time, you know, squared up with it. Going across, you really got to nail it if you're going across. I don't think we even need a pick for you. We got to pick a thrower. I'm going to be wearing the bunny costume.
Starting point is 01:00:24 Oh, that guy will be good the bunny costume Oh, that would be good What's that, Tess? What about that would be good? How was your spot last night, Tess? Yeah, it wasn't really bad Where were you at? New York Comedy Club I had to cold open for a roast battle
Starting point is 01:00:38 Oh, man No way It was terrible I feel like Lil' Sass has been asleep the past It was so bad. He has bad. Is that the worst internal of a fruit ever? That looks disgusting.
Starting point is 01:00:50 Which one? The melon, I just said. Yeah, that was weird. Why two heads? No, I'm scared. I don't think you should hold it like that. Yeah, I know the blade's probably going to pop off the handle right between Sass' eyes. Oh, Jesus.
Starting point is 01:01:03 Yeah. I'm actually scared now. Yeah. I yeah i want you to break the knife oh oh hell dude a little surprise in there wow wait i feel like we all have to take a bite of that one that looks amazing i'll take a bite yeah everyone has to pass that one around yeah yeah definitely it looks looks weird. It looks like something out of Willy Wonka. Yeah, it does. They turn you into a big blueberry. Eat the goo. Hey, Latin.
Starting point is 01:01:29 Yeah, yeah. What was her name? What was her name? Gay Mellon. Wait, who gave me the Gay Mellon? Beauregard. No. Yeah?
Starting point is 01:01:38 Are we still doing Violet Beauregard? Violet Beauregard. I didn't have the headphones on. Yeah. Oh, that's a good fruit. Well, we didn't ask any of the questions on the list. I'm afraid I'll be allergic. Oh, we never do.
Starting point is 01:01:46 Oh, no. No. Che just does that. We don't do that. Stay employed. Yeah. Gay. Unless you want to.
Starting point is 01:01:53 I mean, I'm trying to think of one good one for John. What do you think of Roe v. Wade? Oh, yeah. That's a good one for John. That officially happened this morning? They overturned that? Yeah. Super fucked up are we um
Starting point is 01:02:05 like a quote card for that wait are they doing pink squares is that the thing oh is that what it is oh yeah oh and did you just start that owen uh yeah i just wanted to swaggiest kind of draw my line in the sand yeah it kind of looks like fire everyone knows who i was posting those orange squares yeah there was that and there was the black square there was of course the black square and then you were told
Starting point is 01:02:28 to delete the black square then we said it was not good to post the black square yes and then you delete it and then you didn't post the black square well you archive it in case you had to bring it back
Starting point is 01:02:35 you have a black square in your archive I actually deleted it because I wanted to actually support but then I got called out for not having one I know a guy
Starting point is 01:02:43 who geotagged his black square at like Wall Street to impress people called out for not having one. I know a guy who geotagged his Black Square at Wall Street to impress people. That's really I don't know exactly who that is. Did you post to Black Square on LinkedIn? That's the real question. Did I? I didn't.
Starting point is 01:02:56 Nick posted navy blue the day before. I have very bad luck. I was probably the most affected by that whole thing. I was worried about you. I thought it would be a funny... I was worried about you, dang it. I thought it would be
Starting point is 01:03:08 a funny Instagram post just to post a color. This was before the black square thing. Oh, the navy square thing was serious. I did. I posted a navy square
Starting point is 01:03:16 like a week before this all happened and I just captured it like this is my favorite color. And it was a funny post. It was just like... I just posted a... It was a funny post
Starting point is 01:03:23 and then it became a really funny post. And it got way better. It was an in- funny post. It was just like, I just posted a song. It was a funny post, and then it became a really funny post. And it got way better. It was an in-feed post. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. It was a navy square amongst a sea of not-navy squares.
Starting point is 01:03:35 You know, I don't know. And you'd think navy looks enough like black, but when it's paired. It kind of sounds like it's someone else's color. Do you have a screenshot of it? No, but I do have a black square on LinkedIn. It's a black square. I thought I actually had that. It's there?
Starting point is 01:03:51 Virtue signaling. No, I don't have a black square, but I've been endorsed so many times in allyship on LinkedIn. I fortify black squares. So how have you guys been allies? I'm just kidding. I have not. No, we have not.
Starting point is 01:04:03 I am not. Well, we had Wallo on. Yeah, that's good. Speaking of black squares. He was being kind of lame, dude. I'm talking about logos. We'll get you. We'll make you blow up.
Starting point is 01:04:18 Game Mellon? Question mark, question mark, question mark. Well, do we have another ad? No? No, we're good. Okay, cool. You guys usually have the hosts close out. That was fun.
Starting point is 01:04:30 That fruit was very fun. That was a great idea. Well, thanks for having me. So, cool. I'll see you on Monday, I guess. Yeah, we can just say bye. Bye. Wish the viewers a real good week.
Starting point is 01:04:44 Hey, guys. Hey, I hope you have a great weekend. Hot chip Monday. Happy Pride. Hot chip Monday. Case race. Open Wednesday out Thursday. The nicest. Barstool vs. America comes out Sunday.
Starting point is 01:04:59 Sass, go watch his stand-up. Where are you tonight? Anus. Oh, the bracket oh the bracket and tomorrow and Sunday win that bitch
Starting point is 01:05:09 are you going shades then I haven't decided yet I would usually I kind of like it you also have I'm hoping I can figure that out by then you have Providence coming up too
Starting point is 01:05:20 and Philly and stuff yes Providence Philly Atlanta St. Louis Atlanta claim blind you're really that around, man.
Starting point is 01:05:26 That's cool. That is awesome. You're a little comedy slut. He is. I'm sure you get this all the time, but I just always think, because when I was doing the stand-up in L.A., they would have fucking hated you. Oh, yeah. They would have hated you more than any person in the world.
Starting point is 01:05:40 In L.A.? You just roll out and start getting shows. I feel like he's a little Tik tiktoker I feel like they would love him though they would hate him cause he was successful they would hate him cause he got successful he did numbies right away I bet people hate you everywhere for that sorry that's a compliment that people hate you for that
Starting point is 01:05:56 your jokes only reach out I don't know what people do to me hey listen I don't respect you because you weren't unsuccessful longer that's how they are. No, I believe it. I believe it.
Starting point is 01:06:08 I'm one of them. Open micers are maybe the worst of all people at that. I agree. It's a tough scene. I'm just kidding. Well, anyways, thank you guys for watching. No one wear the bunny costume. We'll get someone in it.
Starting point is 01:06:23 Eventually, that bunny will. We leave this in the studio and just. Yeah, no, I told you. I've'll get someone in it eventually that will be in here we leave this in the studio and just yeah no i told you i've been trying to sell it on facebook marketplace now it's out of my what's your whoever's doing the hot chip do it in the in the bunny suit well you wouldn't have to taste it because you can't i don't even know who's doing the hot chip and i don't even think that would be like a cool thing i think it would be dope yeah that would be fire that'd be dope i can tell nick's face is so red i'll be goaded dude i am probably freaking out you could tell he's sweating i actually think that's really fun man yeah all right so yeah i apologize to the cleaning crew
Starting point is 01:06:59 i did check that we'll help clean this i did check that the carpet was already stained before oh yeah it was oh yeah okay well thank you guys for watching thank you thanks for uh working up cool Have a good weekend, everybody.

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