The Yak - Big Cat Adds An All-Time Punishment to the Wheel | The Yak 9-9-22
Episode Date: September 9, 2022Poor RoneYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right.
Nobody wants to fucking work anymore.
Nobody wants to fucking work.
Yeah.
Everybody's quiet.
But yeah, you're wondering why you don't own a home yet.
Where are you here?
Or they got quietly fired.
Yeah.
That's another big thing everyone's talking about.
That could have happened to them.
Who do you think next on the chopping block is?
Not even in the act.
Tim Barstool.
You were talking about it before we went live.
You were.
You couldn't even narrow it down.
You gave us top five.
I did give a top five.
There's actually ten.
There's actually ten people that I'm thinking of.
A.B.'s here, but he's playing Papa Shot,
and then he also was watching the video of that college professor
wrestling his student.
What?
Yeah, I don't know.
I think he just forgot that we have this.
Here he comes.
The Cats and KFC right now.
Oh, the new podcast.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And there he is right there.
Looks like he's having a good time.
Handsome.
Handsome.
That's a great angle.
He needs to embrace the gray.
I'm telling you.
I'd agree.
A silver fox is hundo.
I've been begging to go gray, but I just can't do it.
I'm gray.
I'm pretty fucking gray.
It's different for women.
It is, yes.
That's very true.
That's true.
Yes.
Bad way. That's very. very damn Kate's a silver fox
damn Kate's old as fuck
little salt and pepper
she looks like Clooney
didn't Kim Kardashian
dye her hair
gray
that's also different
for her
yeah
I don't know if I liked that
no
I wouldn't have fucked her
she did yeah
fair to say
what is a platinum look
okay you should host today sure yeah get in there what's going on Wouldn't have fucked her. She did. Yeah. Fair to say. It was a platinum look.
Okay.
You should host today.
Sure.
Yeah. Get in there.
What's going on?
Che week.
It's the close of Che week.
Saturday was a huge success.
You had the Bills beating the Rams, so the data's off to a good start.
Undefeated.
It's been good.
How are you guys doing?
Nobody's going to Iowa, right?
None of us are.
Have you guys been to Iowa before?
Never.
I think that's the last state I'm going to go to.
It kills me to say that.
Whoa, really?
Yeah.
I like the culture there.
A huge chunk of my family, my whole mom's side of the family, is from Keokuk, Iowa.
Like my great grandparents.
That's a shockingly like...
They have some native names.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
They collected like arrowheads just from like the rivers around them and stuff. I used to do that in Moundsville.
I never found
one in the wild. Did you find them? Oh, yeah.
There's, like, this... You could find them...
So I have a... The town called Moundsville.
It's 20 minutes south of us, and there's
a big Native American burial
mound there. Okay. And I would go there
with my grandma and find arrowheads.
But I think they placed them.
Really? Definitely. Yeah. It just hit me like... Sharp stony arrowheads. Sharp and find arrowheads but i think they placed them i think they definitely
yeah it just sharp stony arrowheads sharp stony arrowheads what the fuck is that from
napoleon dynamite i don't remember that at all i don't remember that the fuck it is
he went to that farm the guy the old dude who was collecting like chickens and talons you said
sharp stony arrowheads and a really
fucked up voice. I don't remember that
at all. I've seen that movie a hundred plus times
I don't think I've ever heard that. Maybe I have the adjectives
wrong but I think you have the words wrong
I think it was sharp stony arrowheads
Dude that rings zero bells
No way! Anyone listening out
there is also confused. There is
no way. Look at
TJ can we, can you go to the old man's?
Yeah, okay.
Is this going to get taken down?
I mean, none of these are in the movie.
The old man scene of Napoleon Dynamite?
He definitely put Napoleon Dynamite arrowheads, because maybe it's not Sharp Stoney.
He said it in like a mumbling, you couldn't really tell, decipher.
Did he pay him in arrowheads?
Nothing arrowheads.
Yeah, because he has the little collection, but I don't think arrowheads yeah cause he has the little collection
but I don't remember him
saying that
oh yeah
oh my god
Kyle I'm gonna
I need this dub
over there
that pink man
I found
a couple of so socks on the elephant.
Oh!
Nailed it.
How did you remember that?
I think you nailed it.
The Skype.
How?
I think you nailed it.
Dang, dog.
Whoa.
The closed caption doesn't even have that on the back.
It couldn't even pick it.
Say it again one more time.
When was the last time you saw that movie?
2008, probably.
Holy fuck.
That's like one of the most quotable movies ever.
I've never heard anyone use that.
That's so right.
What part?
And I found a couple of Shoshone arrowheads.
You nailed it.
What the fuck?
But you said that like we'd know.
Oh, yeah.
That was my favorite part.
Oh, he's saying Shoshone arrowheads.
Oh.
Shoshone. That checks out. That also, that was my favorite part. Oh, he's saying Shoshone Arrowheads. Oh. Yeah.
Shoshone,
that checks out.
Also is hard.
That's enough.
I apologize, man.
Yeah,
no worries.
What a quotable movie
and you,
that's your,
that's the thing,
yeah.
That was my favorite scene
of the whole movie.
Man.
Guys, sorry I was late. Oh, that's okay. You look handsome on KFC. Guys, sorry I was late.
Oh, that's okay.
You look handsome on KFC.
Yeah, we zoomed in on you.
You look good in that light.
Oh, nice.
It was a great angle.
It was a good angle in there.
Good.
I've jacked up my neck.
Oh, look at it there.
Are they still going?
They must still be going.
Oh, they're doing their ads.
That's not an ad voice.
They're too happy. No, he's doing his ads. That's not an ad voice. They're too happy.
No, he's doing his ad.
They crushed the ads.
Ah, damn.
Are we allowed to say who was in yesterday?
Yeah.
Because, I mean, I was talking about Danny DeVito.
Yeah, and his daughter Lucy.
I didn't see him.
I literally had tears spring to my eyes when I saw him with my own two eyes
because I just think he's so wonderful.
PMT and KFC Radio
Is that his first time on PMT?
Yeah I've never felt more
Like embarrassed when they walked in
And they're short
And they had to sit on the couch
And the couch just like swallowed them
Someone came running out
I was sitting out there someone came running out
Can I take that pillow from you? It's for Danny DeVito
And I was like of course
Is he taller than me?
He is four, eight or nine.
Shit, he has me by two inches.
Motherfucker.
Goddamn.
Well, you know what kind of stopped me from, because every now and then if it's somebody
that I truly love, I will shamelessly, because normally I don't bug people for photos here.
But if it's somebody like that, like, oh man, when else am I going to see Danny DeVito?
You got to ask.
But one of the things that stopped me was like,
do you,
I didn't want to be weird
and I'm a socially awkward person.
Like,
would I squat?
Would that be,
or does he just want people to be the regular height?
I think regular.
You don't squat.
Zah,
you don't squat.
Wait,
what?
When people get photos with you,
do they like squat down?
I tell them not to.
Yeah.
So they take,
so it's not squat.
They take a knee. I tell them, get the fuck up it's not squat, they take a knee.
I tell them, get the fuck up.
People take a knee next to you?
Yeah, and I tell them to get the fuck up.
That's like rubbing a pregnant lady's belly.
You don't know that. What the fuck?
Yeah, that and that and petting
on the head.
What? Jesus Christ.
I mean, so the petting doesn't
happen as frequent, but it happens.
You should be allowed to shank someone when that happens.
I one time did one thing to you that I think about every now and then and I feel very bad about.
Do you remember it?
Probably.
When I got down on both my knees and started petting you?
This will make you feel better if he doesn't remember.
Sometimes when I'm in the hallway, I'll do basketball moves and shit.
And one time I was doing a basketball move, and then you walked by,
and I held my hand over your head.
And right after I did it, I was like, what the fuck did I just do?
I was just very locked in the moment.
And yeah, it actually weighs on me.
I don't remember if you noticed, but it weighs on me.
So I'm sorry.
I didn't notice.
Instantly, I was like, dude, what did you just do?
If it's someone I know, if it's someone I have a relationship with, nothing really bothers me.
But yeah, random people, no.
I literally haven't slept for six months.
That's good.
I'm going to sleep tonight.
Football.
Football. That was back. Did Ozzy end up playing? I didn't see. I'm going to sleep tonight. Football. Football.
That was back.
Did Ozzy end up
playing?
I didn't see.
I didn't see either.
Ozzy Osbourne was
supposed to.
Oh, I don't think so.
I thought he was
going back to England
because he's dying.
Oh, to be with the
Queen?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like we get
more Queen jokes off.
Did anyone else
big die yesterday?
Yeah, there was a I think a CNN, old CNN reporter.
Oh, yeah.
Got totally cucked.
People were saying Trisha Paytas' baby is the queen reincarnate.
Oh, did she?
Was she born?
Wait, who?
Trisha Paytas' baby.
And didn't she name her kid?
She named her kid Elizabeth.
Who is that?
Who is that?
You've seen her face everywhere.
She tried to cancel us for posting a clip of people watching her OnlyFans on their phone.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
She has a loud appearance.
Boisterous.
Does she have botched titties?
Yes.
Square.
Do you think they keep the queen's dead body just in the house for a while?
Yeah, I think so.
They probably don't take her to a morgue.
Funeral's the 19th.
Is that true?
Yeah.
They probably just tucked her in bed.
The thing is, she's so fucking old,
she might just go.
Bones?
Yeah.
Dust.
Just a chicken wing at the funeral?
Oh, man.
Like I said, I think we get more Queen jokes.
Oh, definitely.
I'm ready.
I walked away.
Can you show the graphic that was the headline graphic yesterday?
Who makes it, TJ?
Either Garrett Quiggs or Connor Griffin.
We have a couple guys that work on it.
There's very few times where it's like I have to stop and be like,
whoa, that's a graphic, but work on it. There's very few times where it's like, I have to stop and be like, whoa, that's a graphic.
But I loved it.
It was very funny.
This one was good.
Garrett Javers.
Yeah.
30 corgis.
One alleged assassination planned.
Two family members exiled.
Six major scandals.
19,502 rushing yards.
Pretty good.
30 countries colonized.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Stop.
Right.
She has a hell
of capers too what is that what is the stance what do you mean people are like you can't don't
dare people are royal family stands i did a blog about brands reacting to her death yesterday
and just like this one audio like phone case brand was like queen's dead was their caption
and then they were just selling their new headphones and like i included stuff like
that and like i got so many dms from people being like too soon bitch
oh see i people mad at me for blogging about what other people were saying yeah premier league
canceling to postponing games sucks that's that seems losers can't fucking watch villa lame
the um i i had this one guy who i responded to yesterday. I think his exact quote was something like,
people in America won't understand the queen is more than just a figurehead.
She's like the cultural grandmother of our society.
And I quote to you, I was like, dude, John Madden died like nine months ago.
We get it.
Yeah.
And so this guy, I went back last night like 1 a.m.
And I just scrolled his timeline of him bitching about how Americans were being so mean.
I was loving it.
Just loving it.
He was like, France is doing it the right way.
They have flags at half mass and all this shit.
That's telling, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
We got to meme them.
We have to meme them.
You have to meme the Queen's death.
People are mad that the verified Hamilton account tweeted mourning the queen.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's fucked up.
Learn your history.
Ozzy did perform, by the way.
Oh, he did?
He did.
I got a DM that said he was amazing considering people thought he was dying.
Yeah.
Good for him.
Yeah, because he said he wanted to go back home because he feels trapped in his own body.
This guy ain't young. He has Parkinson's. There it is, yeah. Yeah, because he said he wanted to go back home because he feels trapped in his own body.
This guy ain't young.
He has Parkinson's. There it is, yeah.
He just talked about moving back to the UK.
Soak it up, motherfuckers.
Ozzy Osbourne.
So I guess there's more than one Ben Mintz.
Who's this guy?
Buffalo Ben Mintz.
Buffalo Ben.
Who is this guy?
Sirius XM. Oh, he's a... Yeah. Okay Ben Mintz. Buffalo Ben. Who is this guy? Sirius XM.
Oh, he's a...
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Soak it up, motherfuckers.
That wasn't any footage of him.
It was during halftime.
They just didn't show it on air.
They were talking in front of him for some reason.
What was their reality show called?
I used to be obsessed with it.
The Osbournes.
Oh, yeah, the Osbournes.
When they threw the food over their neighbor's fence.
That was a good show.
That was a great show.
It was a great show.
I had a big crush on Jack.
Did you?
Oh, yeah.
I knew who I could pull, and so Jack was in my realm.
I was like, yeah, this guy.
I had all of the Bendy action figures of them.
What?
I remember them.
I didn't have them.
I had all of them.
Why did I remember?
Yeah.
Because they sold them at Dollar Zone.
That's it.
I was more of a Hogan knows best guy.
I like Brooke.
Yeah.
And then Nick killed a person.
I think his best friend.
Yeah.
Vehicular?
Drag racing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That one was fun.
That was a fun show though
That was like the heyday
Reality television in like
2000 to like
Maybe 2010
Was the best
Cause it was right before
MTV
Yeah I had all those
It was people who like
Went on reality television
Not realizing they'd be famous
So they were really
Like stupid about it
Like they would do
Dumb things
Oh yeah
Nobody's gonna watch
They didn't even consider that
Right
There was no Twitter canceling.
They just went on there and just
were idiots. I've seen every
episode of all of the real chants of
love. I love New York. Rock
of love. I've seen real shot of love.
Every single one. I was obsessed. New York
versus Pumpkin is one of the greatest.
She spit on her.
New York was oiled the fuck up.
Oh yeah. I had a thing for New York.
I did too, actually.
Yeah, of course.
When I was on maternity leave, I just started watching Rock of Love again.
It's so good.
It's so good.
And then one of the chicks got her own spinoff.
Everybody got their own spinoff from that.
It was just a never-ending cycle of reality.
Which is what it should be.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just keep spinning off forever.
Did any of those ever work out?
What do you mean? The winners or relationships. Did any of those ever work out? What do you mean?
The winners or relationships.
Did any of them ever work?
No.
I think there is one.
Isn't there a bachelor couple that's been married for a while?
I'm talking about the tequila.
Tequila became a Nazi.
Nazi.
A Thai lesbian Nazi.
Quite a minority Thai lesbian.
Popular in Thailand.
Right.
And woman.
Yeah, and a woman.
Yeah, quite the conundrum.
They love the swastika
in Thailand.
Yeah, they do.
Yeah, for some reason.
Stylistically.
Yeah.
Well, so does Meg.
I remember I saw her
on GeoGuessr
and I was like,
whoa, that is true.
That's one of those things
where I feel like
if you're a woman
who's a little bit hot
and you dip into QAnon or in the Nazi world, you're like, you could be a five, if you're a woman who's a little bit hot and you dip into QAnon or the Nazi world,
you're like, you could be a five, but you're a ten in that world.
There's a lot of subcategories of just dudes that girls can join and be the hottest.
Yes, I was a Marine for a reason.
Yeah, you'd be the one guy or girl who sticks out.
That's what girls are doing on Twitch, I feel.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
I think you just described Candace Owens' entire career.
Yes, you're right.
It's like, yeah, look.
I don't care what she's saying.
She's hot.
She's hot.
What?
Tommy, Tomy, and Larry.
Tomy and Larry, yeah.
She went to Nashville.
I haven't heard about her in years.
Did she get too hot?
I don't know what happened to her.
Or did she have a, something happened with her.
She kind of faded.
Maybe people just started tuning her out.
She linked up with Alex Jones.
Was she pro-abortion?
Yeah, she might have been pro-choice.
Pro-choice, so it's like, yeah, and then it's just like over.
Yeah, you're done. How did she do that? That's how Dave got canceled. Oh no, did she like a sentence. Yeah, and then it's just like over. Yeah. You're done. You do that.
That's how Dave got canceled.
Did she lose her eyebrows? Wait, what?
No, that's before she got
famous. Oh.
Yeah. I was going to say, that's the worst plastic surgery
ever. A lot of women are bleaching their eyebrows
right now, though. Julia Fox just did it.
Really? And it's very startling. I don't like it.
Should I bleach mine? Yeah. Yes.
Absolutely. I like it. Prominent eyebrows.
I remember, too, like, do you guys ever have, do you remember the moment that one of your,
like, weaknesses physically was first pointed out to you?
Yeah, it hurts.
It hurts so bad.
All of them.
I remember in college, a girl was like, you have really big eyebrows.
And I was like, what?
And then you hyper.
I was like, I do.
Hyper focus on it for probably
like four to seven weeks yes it's all whenever you look at another person that's you look at
theirs and yeah what was yours i have a few yeah yeah but that first that first moment where
someone's like oh you look weird you're just like because you live your life just like if no one says
anything you're like oh yeah it's normal and then they say it and you're like um damn it do you want to know what i had and my parents like waited until i was in like
middle school to finally take care of it like they waited adopted no tell well till i was in
bullying range and then they're like i this is gross i didn't it wasn't just like a mole it was
like in austin powers to moly moly moly like the size of a nickel i don't know if you can see the
scar on the side of my face right here it was like right here on the size of a nickel i don't know if you can see the scar on the side
of my face right here it was like right here on the side of my face like a big ass it was like a
hairy mole it was hairy i knew i don't know if you can see it's like but if no one makes fun of
you it's a scar now but you don't think it's bad but but when you're in sixth grade and you have
like a nickel sized hairy mole on your face i would tell kids um oh that's like my hairline and the hairdresser like went around it funny and they're
like no that's a big hairy mole that's like what that like oh my god it was terrible yeah no those
moments like stick with you forever like i remember when i was i don't know maybe probably
like 10 or 11 at a pool and one of my friends told me to put my arms together like this
and then he's like, you have tits?
And I was like, fuck, I have tits.
Like I never thought I had tits.
And then I realized I had tits.
And it's like, well, this just ruined
like the next 10 years of my life.
Luckily we have jobs where people don't point out those.
But then you obviously get over it.
They do it too much here.
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
You don't even care.
You become numb.
It's been one of the best things,
actually.
That first moment,
you just never forget
the first moment
that someone points something
out to you and you're like,
damn it.
Fuck.
What was yours, Nick?
I have a subreddit
for my legs, dude.
Oh.
Really?
R slash rickets.
Oh, yeah, rickets.
That's right.
But no, in school,
I had a mole on the back of my
neck that was taken care of parents my nipples go inwards very really that's like a classic like
uh gym class locker very pinchable i actually missed running out uh the eighth graders at
saint vincent's get to run out early before the last bell yeah run down the steps they're done
but they all pinch my nipples beforehand so I was in the nurse's office.
My nipples bled.
I didn't get to run out of eighth grade.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Is this r slash rickets?
Yeah, it's just me.
It's just all my legs.
Damn.
It's tough.
I got called out for no pubes and having wide eyes.
Oh, no pubes.
A brutal one.
Both on the first day of high school.
So it's like a gauntlet.
You get in there and you have to do your homeroom and your first day classes, including gym
class, all boys school.
You have to shower at the no pube treatment.
I finally make it to lunch and I get to have like an ice cream out in the courtyard.
Senior just comes up to me.
Your eyes are way too far apart.
Oh, my God oh that was high school
oh my god dude the no pubes though i mean everyone i assume had the no pubes like sleep
waking yeah and bird dogs are super comfortable little charming bear that's yeah the no pubes
i don't know how everybody has that story. Like every,
why do we want pubes
so much more
than a bigger dick?
Well,
no,
it was just at that time.
I was like,
I need pubes.
I didn't care about my tiny.
I wanted armpits.
I would have traded
an ear for a bushel.
Remember when you'd
count your pubes?
You could count six.
It's sick.
Fuck.
I remember whoever
got boobs first
in middle school
was like the queen.
Oh yeah.
It didn't matter.
It was like,
all right,
she's our ruler now.
She's the coolest one of all of us.
And always like she,
that,
that girl's always taller than every guy.
Yeah.
Still like until like,
you know,
like 12,
13.
She would just drop them on her,
on their head at the dance.
Fucking the first hits were awesome.
I remember seventh grade,
Brian Moore,
April fool's day told the class,
Hey everybody, Kate has tits, awesome. I remember seventh grade, Brian Moore, April Fool's Day, told the class, Hey, everybody, Kate has tits.
April Fool's.
Oh!
Did you ever stuff?
I used to put socks in my training bra.
But I didn't want them to be too pronounced.
So I would take tube socks, probably from my brother or dad,
and I would put them long ways.
So my tits were like a weird L shape.
Yeah, you had no cleavage. I had no cleavage. I wish I could have gone back in So it was like my tits were like a weird L shape. Yeah, you had no cleavage.
I had no cleavage.
I wish I could have gone back in time and given you my tits.
I had a mole, yeah.
When I did it, nothing happened.
Oh.
Man.
Yeah.
That was tough.
Steve, what was huge?
Did you get any fun off?
Steven never had anything.
Guarantee.
It was like, hey, Steven, you're too fast.
No first, no kiss.
Yeah, like, hey, slow down, buddy.
You run so fast.
No, nothing directly.
I would say that it was difficult growing up with a mentally challenged brother.
He was in my same grade.
He was held back.
So that was probably the, nothing after – But much less directly.
By at least seventh grade, people know the deal and then they chill out.
It's just –
No, dude.
No.
Seventh grade is the worst.
Kids are so mean.
They're so mean.
I actually sometimes have anxiety thinking about my kid's growth.
I do.
I stay up at night already.
He's one and I'm like, oh, my God,
when he gets to the seventh grade,
if people are me, yeah.
But I'm just like,
I honestly think in my head,
like, maybe I just need to keep working
until they get through high school,
like, hoping that I'm cool enough.
People are like,
oh, your dad works for Barstool.
Like, that's cool.
Because, like, that might work.
You know what I mean?
Like, most Yak listeners are like 14.
What do you think are the meanest ages, seventh to 10th grade oh yeah that's like the nightmare range right there
it's puberty it's puberty to like yeah like puberty to loss of virginity yeah yeah yeah
once everybody busts yeah once everyone busts they're like okay that was cool like i don't
i'd rather try to bust again than make fun of you yeah I feel like all the band and ROTC kids
it was like nerds
nerds nerds
but then once they hit 11th grade
and they all started fucking
and stuff
they were like
nobody fucks like
they didn't give a fuck
like anybody
they just go at each other
they didn't care what
anyone else was doing
they had their own world
they were cool
yeah
shit
wow
TJ what about you
oh no
I tried to dress as un-make-fun-able as possible in high school
with just solid black t-shirts and jeans and white shoes every single day.
And then they're like, you wear a black t-shirt every day.
Oh, here comes Mr. Uniform.
I remember I wanted a pair.
Remember all the girls wore those white Reeboks that were super popular?
And all I wanted was a pair of white Reeboks in middle school.
But my mom accidentally got me the old lady like velcro repair that was like I can't wear
these and then my dad got me this leather jacket that had like shoulder pads he gave it to me on
Christmas Eve and he was like so proud of it he's like yeah so and so helped me pick this out blah
blah blah and I got roasted for it so hard on the bus that the next day I was like, someone stole it, Dad.
I like, like once I went back and it was me.
I still feel terrible about it.
My mom bought me a pair of mud branded jeans.
Just women.
I remember those.
And she thought, she just knew they were popular.
She got me a pair.
I just like walked out.
I walked out and my dad was just like, no.
No. They were just women's jeans.
It was like a handprint on the back cheek I had a uniform the entire time
growing up but
I wanted to be ghetto in 7th grade
so I would sag my sweatpants
that had like a huge crucifix on them
I said St. Anne's but they would be
under my butt cheeks
a bad outfit you wear it and you immediately get made fun of
then you're stuck in it
I went home sick because I wore something bad
first time I ever wore shorts to high school i went home sick because your legs yeah no it was
them at my legs that made fun of but they were also like looking back they were bad they looked
almost like dress pants but they were shorts they're like like pinstriped in black and like
dress pant material i got them from a skateboard magazine but and then you're and then your parents
are like why aren't you wearing that i bought that uh-huh you're like i don't want to wear it anymore yeah it's like well i'm not
buying you new clothes then yeah you're just not gonna wear them all right i was just wearing like
the five dollar graphic tees from like walmart that had like the pillsbury dough boy oh yeah
yeah yeah yeah my swag out or something did you have a cookie monster hat uh not a hat i think i
had a cookie monster shirt though and he had likesta Grills and a dollar sign chain on it.
I was just all Old Navy.
I was way too late to act.
It was like Gucci to me.
It was like, yeah, I want this shirt with a vertical stripe
or a horizontal stripe, this one with a horizontal stripe,
cargo pants.
Did any of your parents collect the Old Navy 4th of July T-shirts?
Flag T-shirts, yeah.
I had a few years. Every year. Do you remember how cool malls were to go to oh that was like
the spot you don't oh no i do i i actually like i miss going so do i yeah i was afraid but like
if you went with the right crew it was awesome malls are fucking sick yes i had the pleasure
of going to malls with my friend's older brother which was way better hang out with an older
brother you're under most dead now though because they're like beast where they are rented out I had the pleasure of going to malls with my friend's older brother, which was way better. Hang out with an older brother.
Mall's dead now, though?
Mr. Beast rented out American Dream Mall.
Had people play hide-and-seek for like a... Yeah.
American Dream Mall sucks.
Oh, you don't like it?
Hate it.
I like it just because I haven't...
That's the only mall I've been to in like the last six years.
This one, the American Dream?
Yeah, the big boy.
Oh, I fucking love...
I live right next door to it.
And so when the weather sucks, I just take my son.
I'm like, run around, dude. Have a good time. Oh, I fucking love it. I live right next door to it, and so when the weather sucks, I just take my son. I'm like, run around, dude.
Have a good time.
Oh, yeah.
If we tailgate, Kate offered her place to poop at if we tailgate at Giants or Jets games.
Oh, nice.
That's fine.
That's a great offer.
Two toilets, not to brag.
No kidding.
Yep.
Wow.
Yeah.
Malls are, though.
They're defunct, right?
Because Amazon has killed it.
They need to make a comeback.
They still exist, but yeah.
On the plus side, it's much lower traffic.
Yeah.
It's a crowded mall.
Yeah, but I feel like there's still big, big malls,
but there's no those middle-sized malls.
Yeah.
Those, I feel like, are dying.
Yeah.
Damn.
All malls.
We should go to a mall.
Yeah.
Just walk around.
Go in a mall.
You are?
PS5 drop tomorrow For GameStop Pro members
Are you waiting in line?
If there's a line
So there's one right by my crib
If there's a line
I'm turning around and leaving
How are you going?
I've been trying to get a PS5 for two years
Yeah I am not
I'm not paying
God damn it Si
I'm not paying a cent about
We gotta get you a PS5
Nah nah it's alright
I mean well Stu got my one year old When Yeah, we got to get you a PS5. Nah, it's all good. I mean, well, Stu got my one-year-old, when he was one, he got my son a PS5.
Kenny Powers did that?
No, he included, like, I think there was, like, Call of Duty, like, Gears of War, whatever,
and then, like, Spider-Man were the games he gave him.
I was like, he's one, Stu?
I gave it to my nephews but like it was just
gift by stew yeah call of duty announced they're coming out with iraq
oh in iraq call of duty that's about time yeah yeah okay i'm sure you play as kate yeah well
the onion did this great video about like call of duty iraq coming out but it's like hyper
realistic and you just sit in an outpost waiting for your mom to mail you socks for a year,
and then you get divorced or something like that.
It's like a... The mission looking for weapons of mass destruction
just never ends.
Yeah, the game never ends.
Not here.
Just keep looking everywhere.
That feels, I guess, 20 years.
When was it?
Yeah, it was 21 years ago.
Yep.
Was the start?
Yeah.
This is the card game in 2024.
This is for 2024?
Yeah.
What's it at right now?
What war do they do?
Why don't they just keep running back World War II?
Yeah, that's the best one.
It's no blurred lines.
Oh.
There's Nazis and there's good guys.
Or why not just bring these guns to ancient Rome?
That'd be sick.
Yeah. Modern warfare and old age. Yeah. ancient Rome? That would be sick. Yeah.
Modern warfare and old age.
A Roman video game would be sick.
Do you think you could take over all of Rome if you had like...
Do you think this room?
Unlimited ammunition and like...
You could take over Rome with one tank.
I don't know, dude.
There's a lot of people in Rome.
I think too it would be easy if I could bring my cell phone and I could convince them that I'm magic and that I'm like God. I think they know, dude. There's a lot of people in Rome. I think, too, it would be easy if I could bring my cell phone
and I could convince them that I'm magic and that I'm like God.
I think they'd kill you.
Just do what I say.
What, really?
Yeah.
What if I was funny?
Maybe they'd keep you around.
I think one tank, you're sweeping Rome.
I don't know.
I feel like they would be able to light it on fire eventually.
Can you?
There's so many people.
If they figured it out,
they're like, hey, we're all going to die if we don't just figure out a way
to light this thing on fire.
I think I could take over Rome in a Honda Accord.
Maybe.
Yeah, maybe.
I think you could.
Who was the guy who played the fiddle while it burned?
While Rome burned?
Yeah.
It fiddles? Nero? No, not Nero. What did Nero do? He was the guy who played the fiddle while it burned? While Rome burned? Yeah. It fiddles?
Yeah.
Nero?
No, not Nero.
What did Nero do?
He was the bad emperor.
Yeah.
He also had a weird-shaped head.
He's the one who burned Rome, no?
Maybe he did.
Yeah, who played the...
Nero.
Who was Nero?
He was like the worst emperor.
Was he like the fall of Rome?
He had a weird-shaped body.
Fifth Roman emperor and final emperor of the Julio-Claudian Dynasty.
I kind of want to take high school again.
I would.
I think I forgot all of it.
So I dropped out of college.
And the first time around, I didn't pay attention to any.
I went three and a half years and didn't absorb one single thing.
And then after I got out of the military and I went to Fordham and a half years and didn't absorb one single thing and then after i
got out of the military and i went to fordham and like i was in my late 20s i would get done class
and be like dad you won't believe what i learned today oh my god like i was like oh i was like
actually missing out on really cool shit i sound like such a nerd right now but like there's so
much interesting boring history and all that stuff is cool now i History is cool now. I just started liking history. Yeah.
If you have a good teacher and stuff.
I'll start to fall asleep at night now, and I'll be like, what did cave women, like, how did they take care of their babies?
And I'll start going down like a rabbit hole of ancient times and like, oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Julius Caesar died when he was 55.
Nero committed suicide when he was 30.
I'm not buying it was suicide.
No.
I think it was an Epstein situation.
Yes.
It was the Clintons.
Damn.
They were real freaky back then.
All those guys.
They were all pedophiles.
They were all pedophiles.
They were all pedophiles.
They would literally just sit and eat food until they threw up and then have a little
boy suck their dick.
Yep.
That was Tuesday.
Same time tomorrow.
Right. Right. boys suck their dick yep that was that was that was tuesday same time tomorrow right right and then like what like once a year they would have people show up and like fight a lion for their
like be like this is cool this guy died and that was like the pinnacle of civilization yeah yeah
i went down a rabbit hole of how people wiped their asses back then because how you know if
you're in battle i was like looking at how ancient militaries
did hygiene and stuff.
Like, there's 10,000 men
in a field.
How are you taking care
of your poop and your shit
and all that stuff?
They would have, you know,
like the squeegees
at the car wash
that you dink it back in
and then you wipe the dirt off?
Yeah.
It would have these, like,
basically like ass sponge,
like a sponge on a stick,
like a car wash squeegee,
and everybody would be using it.
Good God.
I used a paintball squeegee once. You had to use a car wash squeegee and everybody would be using it. Good God. I used a paintball squeegee once.
You had to use a paintball squeegee?
No.
Whenever I played paintball, I was so afraid of getting hit
that I would just hide.
It would just be three hours of me hiding.
I had all the accessories.
That was five layers.
My 98 Custom was loaded to the brim with awesome shit.
Then I would just, all right.
That was fun.
I didn't shoot once, didn't get hit once. I don't think I liked Yeah, then I would just, all right. That was fun.
I didn't shoot once, didn't get hit once.
I don't think I liked it, but I pretended to for about three years. Pretended to, yeah.
I peed my pants yesterday.
No, you didn't.
Yeah, I did.
I was rushing home to go to the first parent-teacher conference
because my son starts six hours of school on Monday,
and I had to piss so bad that I pissed in a body armor bottle
in the car and
the ending didn't go
so well. So I walked into the parent
teacher, all these parents
and they're literally talking about potty training.
It was insane.
It's like, yeah,
I need to listen to this because
clearly I haven't captured it at all.
I just piss everywhere. Back to ancient shits I haven't captured it at all. There's piss everywhere.
Back to ancient shits.
Yeah.
They were probably less sticky, though.
Oh, yeah.
They had clean shits.
Yeah.
I bet you they were all one wipers.
Yeah.
Very small diet.
Right.
They only had six different foods that they would mix in.
Right.
Little pebbles coming out.
There's probably deer poops.
Yeah.
That's true.
No one in ancient Rome took a big big shit what was their booze intake it was just wine yeah that would kind of fuck you up yeah that
would that's true yeah like what do you think hangovers i mean they had to exist right they
couldn't if not right probably even worse like did they have coffee did they have like maybe
have cheeseburgers what if
you were off the silk road yeah and you had a night of boozing and they're like hey we just
got this new food in from china and you're crushing it the next day you're probably yeah about to die
before yeah yeah wow that's that kind of blows my mind to think about that shit they gambled back
then didn't they i think on the lions versus people yeah i it's gonna sound
fucked up i would buy a pay-per-view for that i mean i would i would i know i would kill to see
that photo that would be if if the uh the gladiators oftentimes were slaves but like if
it was like a sign up yeah if it was a sign up and it was like, hey, I want to do this. That'd be pretty sweet.
It would be cool.
It would be pretty sweet.
You'd have to root for the lion.
You would.
You'd have to.
You'd have to.
How often do you get to see that?
Yeah.
But the big perk, if you're the guy who signs up, I think the sliver that would keep you
going is that the thought of if I do beat the lion, how much pussy you get if you're
the guy who beat the lion?
Yeah.
Or penis.
Imagine if that's how we decided who becomes president.
That would be cool.
Because then it's like, you're a psycho to want to be president anyway.
You might as well have to try to beat a lion.
There should be something shitty you have to do if you want to be president.
Right.
Like something that we all can watch and be like, ha ha.
In your episode, they make him fuck a pig, right?
Yeah, but yeah.
Episode one. That would be cool. They make them fuck a pig. Yeah, but yeah. Episode one.
That would be cool.
Fuck a pig.
Imagine though, like if our election was just like,
who can kill this lion?
That would be a great way to decide.
I'd imagine that would be a good leader.
Or just take all the candidates and do like a battle royale,
Hunger Games style thing.
Yeah.
Fight each other.
Need to go back to, yeah, just, person in charge needs to be
the physically strongest.
I think that's Africa,
like that person is still
going to war
with the country sometimes.
For sure.
The president or the king,
yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah,
the president should have to go
like on the front lines.
Yes.
That would be cool.
And also make people be like,
I don't know if I want to be president.
Yeah,
we need like 22 year old presidents
who are just jacked. Right, like the strongest should be the know if I want to be president. Yeah, we need like 22-year-old presidents who are just jacked.
Right, like the strongest should be the president.
We need a hot president.
We are dying for hot kids.
John Edwards, I thought John Edwards would be our hot president.
He did the whole wife thing.
I was a big like, this guy, he's got it, meaning he's hot.
You're more inclined to like somebody if they're hot.
100%.
Amen.
Yeah, absolutely.
Why do you think anyone likes
rudy right i know not funny no douchebag too real big jerk he's he screams at all the producers on
stool scenes yeah he's hot he sends himself money from people's phones all the time god damn does
he have a good looking ass uiobOP? Why don't presidents fight the war?
Damn.
I like this.
This is, yeah.
Makes you think.
Makes you think.
Kind of understand why.
Yeah, no, I do too.
Yeah, it would suck if they died.
But it should be something that they have to do that's really shitty because you are a psychotic person to run for any office.
So why not?
We actually were talking about our punishment for we're doing a gambling contest.
I'm part of my take for the whole year.
And one of my ideas was the loser has to earnestly run for office.
Yeah.
How funny would that be?
Because they might win.
They might win.
They'd probably win.
Like if they ran for like mayor of a small town or like one of these congressional
seats that like they could win it's like in the boonies where they're like we we had this chicken
run as a goof and it won so yeah mr mccluckins is now my permanent residence is still bethlehem
west virginia and you could win our mayor our mayor right now is just like it's always a teen
that wins it yeah and you could just you could honor the year. Remember Art McKenzie had a run. He was no teen.
Well, no, but he got
he got beat by a teen.
Really?
Yeah.
Jeff Daniels.
Think about your campaign
with your Twitter account.
Like you could just
Yep.
Daniel Rhett.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was no teen either.
Just bully everyone.
But I think like, yeah,
it's just like, okay,
run against me.
Here come some goons.
Yeah.
I would watch the shit
out of a series of you running for
west virginia yeah but then i'd have to just i'd have to do it oh then no then you resign in
disgrace day one yeah okay yeah i think you need to do this i think you need to do this as a video
series yeah probably should fuck we just like meme all your opponents today yeah the debates
would yeah yeah you just, you just basically...
Honestly, Big Cat, if you give me like two grand
so I could put in a jungle gym, I'm winning.
I'll be your slush fund.
If you're my super pack?
Yeah, I will be your super pack.
All right, fuck it.
I'll run for mayor of Bethlehem, West Virginia.
Who's the current mayor?
Ah, fuck.
Let's see.
I have planned to just drop flyers all over the city,
like literally the city is covered in just nick.
I could stimulate the economy.
Maybe we could do a rough and rowdy there.
Yep.
Mayor of Bethlehem.
Oh, he's kind of young.
He's a very Christ-like man to it.
He's kind of young, kind of.
Aaron Snyder, is he?
Oh, fuck.
He's the youngest city official.
You might actually have a real battle on your hands.
Wait, this guy's running Bethlehem?
We could beat his ass.
Oh, man.
But I feel so bad.
He can't even drink a beer.
Yeah, but look how happy he is, man.
Yeah, but, you know, politicians.
It's a decent-sized town with a lot going on.
Well, we have one restaurant.
It was an unopposed election.
Oh, we're going to fucking kill him.
Well, he's going to want the job, so now we're going to go against Aaron Snyder.
Okay, I'll do it.
That guy's going down.
He's up for re-election in 2024.
Okay.
Done.
Some time to prep.
Yeah, done.
Wait, how long is the term?
Two years.
That's nothing.
Two-year term as mayor.
He's done.
He's toast.
And he just got elected in July.
Can we call him?
Do we have a number?
Can we debate him right now?
Yeah, let's call him.
Give me next week.
I need some facts and figures.
No, let's just go.
Let's call him and just test it out.
You don't have to talk this time.
I'll talk and be like, hey, I have a candidate who's thinking about running against you.
Okay.
Give us $10,000 and we'll drop out.
Okay.
That would be a felony.
Yeah.
We could get some funding and maybe that's the slush fund.
We'll replenish.
Build a school.
Yeah.
They don't even fucking need one.
No.
Jungle gym.
We have a ropes course.
We have three baseball fields in our village.
How are the dugouts?
Dugouts are on the same side in each field.
It's too hilly and ridgy.
You just make fucking cool dugouts.
Cool dugouts would be awesome.
That's it.
That's literally all you have to do.
I wish I had a cool drink right now.
I'm not leaving because Kim's walking in,
but I do have to take a piss.
All right.
This is my favorite Friday tradition.
Let's go.
A beer mosa is what it says on the cup.
My goodness.
It's actually good.
I didn't think it'd be very good, but I used a little beer, and I think that's good.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you.
We also have to do an auction here pretty soon.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
We'll be coming in.
Appreciate it.
Go to Yak Care Package of Yak items.
Kim, thank you so much for being here with us.
Cheers, everybody.
Kim, thank you.
Thank you so much.
Hell yeah.
Cheers.
Thank you, Bella.
Huge interview
The
DeMillo
The
When is that coming out?
Mark's what?
End of the month
End of the month
Did you guys hit it off?
That's the second time
I've interviewed her
She's awesome
Yes
She's most down to earth
Real loving
Haven't met me
Who has more money?
She does
Okay Let me clarify this Here Mike Where's the mic? Who has more money? She does.
Okay, let me clarify this.
Here, Mike.
Where's the mic?
Right there.
I am Alex's mom, not Graham's mom.
You carried her.
You joined your houses.
Yeah, no, no.
Where'd you get that scarf, Kim?
That's a familiar pattern.
She's the best.
She really is a delight.
Yeah, I like her a lot. Ray of sunshine.
Beermosa.
I'm excited.
I have a big family wedding this weekend.
And me and my cousin, we're both moms.
We're leaving the kids at home, leaving the guys at home.
We got a hotel room together, And we're going to fucking party.
There's two mobs in our 30s going crazy.
Is this a no kids wedding?
No kids wedding.
But you're going to be calling and checking in.
And it's a big one.
Nope, I'm just going to say.
You're going to be detached.
They're alive when I get home.
You're washing your hands of it.
Washing my hands of it.
I'm picking her up from the airport tomorrow.
You still have it in you?
That's what I want to see if I still have that dog in me.
I don't know. Because it's been a while. You've partied with you? That's what I want to see if I still have that dog in me. I don't know.
Because it's been a while. You've partied
with Ampeg recently, right?
But not hard. Not hard.
So are you going to black out? I think so.
I have a big wedding this weekend, big cat.
Shout out my cousin Billy. He's one of the
loveliest human beings of all time.
And then
no free ads.
But if you're in South Jersey hair by Casey Biggs
and hair cut by Casey Biggs
she's the loveliest lady
that he's marrying
where is this
cute as a button
so it's down
right outside like
Deptford New Jersey
salon
and his whole basement
is Eagles
they bought a house
he like
tore out the whole basement
they're like huge Eagles
I'm pretty sure like
like the Eagles string band
is going to come in
at some point it's going to come in at some point.
It's going to be like a big Eagles thing.
Eagles thing.
Yeah.
He like co-whatever an Eagles was.
What day are they getting married?
Saturday.
Okay.
Yeah.
But anyway, so I'm picking my cousin up from the airport.
She's also a mom, big cat, but we're leaving the whole family behind.
Got a room together and we're going to get big plans to get like extra rippy dippy.
So what time do you have to reenter mom world?
So Sunday, whenever I'm okay enough to...
I went to another wedding several months ago,
and I woke up at like 5 in the morning
and drove all the way from the boonies of Virginia home
because I was like, I got to get home to the baby.
I'm not doing that this time.
I'm not doing that this time.
So I'm going to sleep in, I think, by 1 p.m. Sunday.
I have to be home.
I'm giving myself that parameter. So from 1 o'clock
Saturday to 1 o'clock Sunday
I'm a free lady. When does your kid nap?
Noon to 2.
Can you do a...
You should be... I always
get home at like 11.45.
You just
sleep but you're like, I got home early.
That's true. That's smart.
Can you get a drink counter
thread on Twitter
after every drink
oh yeah
oh yeah I'll do that
I'll do that
yeah so picture
after every drink
yep
this will be the first time
that I really
12 drinks in you
yeah oh yes
absolutely
I plan on staying up
because all my cousins
are going to be there
as I've said before
this is the family
like my dad's one of 13
and then they each had like five kids and then they each had like five kids
and then they each had like five kids
and we're all super tight.
And this is,
you know when your family
hasn't got together
for a banger in a while?
Yeah.
This is going to be a doozy.
I can feel it in my bones.
I love it.
Sorry, I'm rambling.
No, that's great.
I'm just very excited for it.
That's a very,
there's nothing better than a Friday
when you know you have a big thing.
Yep.
That weekend.
It's like you're walking on air.
Yeah.
This is going to be great.
I need a big thing.
Do you want to come?
Yeah.
Scheduling big things is like a huge part of life.
And doing it like, you know, fun things.
Like, hey, I'm going to go on vacation, like, even if it's like eight months from now.
Then you're just like, oh, I got that in my head.
Yeah.
I want to tailgate.
Dude, same.
Does Rutgers have a home game tomorrow, TJ?
They do, 4 p.m. against Wagner.
You tailgating up there?
I wasn't planning on it, but if you want to, we can.
Wagner has a squad?
Yeah, they lost to Portland last week.
I might tailgate the Nebraska-Rutgers game that we're doing the show.
Yeah.
I might.
The way you said that was really sad.
Oh, you want to tell me?
Because TJ was like, really?
But he knows he's expecting a joke to just drop on his head.
How's he going to bring my dad into this? Yeah.
On the train on the way in today, I was sitting next to a stoolie.
Oh, God.
I'm going to blank on her name.
Fuck.
Anyway, she was super awesome.
I don't think it matters.
She was on her way.
She was a FSU alum. The Gators, right? That's the Gators. Nope, Seminoles. Anyway, she was super awesome. I don't think it matters. She was on her way. She was a FSU alum.
The Gators, right?
That's the Gators.
Nope, Seminoles.
Oh, who was the Gators?
Florida.
Oh, she's a Florida.
She had the Gators.
And she's like, I'm on my way to the airport right now.
I'm going to the game this weekend to party with all my friends.
It's been a while.
Oh, the best.
Like, that's awesome.
Sophie.
The best.
Thank you for driving female listeners to the YAC.
Yeah.
Dude, there's way more than you guys realize.
They're out there buying coins.
They want to smooch us.
Oh, yeah.
That was a big group of them that you brought in here.
It was.
Did any of them take a dump?
No.
Okay.
Check the cams.
Check the cams.
Check the actual bathroom cams that we have.
Start that rumor.
I want to tailgate tomorrow.
Whoa.
You want to come?
I have to go to Iowa City.
Fair enough.
KB, I win.
Are you doing Rutgers then?
Yeah.
Rutgers?
Yeah.
I'd hang out with you in a different town.
Oh, man.
I don't know why, yeah.
Tailgating is so fun. It's, yeah. Tailgating is so fun.
It's drinking outside.
Tailgating is more fun than going to the game.
Oh, I don't want to go to the game.
Oh, dude, like Perfect World, I would love to someday set it up where I have all my friends come over and we tailgate at my house to just go inside and watch.
That's awesome.
Right.
That would be awesome.
Like everyone get over here at like 11 a.m.
You'd almost need a.m. You don't must need a
parking lot.
Yeah.
Well grill will fucking
you know drink some
beers be really cold
then we'll go and get
warm and watch football
for 12 hours.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
The in the perfect day
the perfect day.
I love the idea of a
rich person putting a
tiny parking lot
somewhere on their
property for a tailgate
maybe a porta potty to
a couple like.
Come tailgate. Yep a porta potty too. Come tailgate.
People who do the tailgates
that's the thing. Tailgating
is very similar to
owning a boat. You don't want to own
a boat. You want to know a guy
who owns a boat and you want to know a guy
who does the tailgate.
Like who is cooking
all morning. It's their world.
It's their full-time job
and they're doing everything the tents the fucking they got breakfast they got lunch
they got after the after glory from start to finish that's what they live for and get there
like i'll try don't want to be that guy you don't want to you want to know him you want to be good
friends with him but if you are that type of guy you do because it's it brings meaning to oh yeah it's everything yeah no i i often like like fantasize about like 20 years from now just being like all right i'm
just gonna get season tickets to like wisconsin football and just go to every game and just tail
in like be a tailgate guy it'd be so much fun yeah you'd have like a they have like specific
vehicles for it's like yeah it's like you know seven days a year it's like let's just bang it
out for seven days a year.
The same DNA as people who follow Jimmy Buffett and just drink in the parking lot.
I think once you do it enough, it's not that difficult.
Like, once you get it down to an art.
You have a routine.
You have your spot.
You have, like, because that's the thing is when if you just say, I want a tailgate, like,
you then have to deal like, all right, where are we going to park?
And you know it's going to be because that's the other thing. The sad tailgate is very sad have to deal like, all right, where are we going to park? And you know it's going to be – because that's the other thing.
The sad tailgate is very sad.
It's bad.
When you see the guys who have one bag of Tostitos and two chairs for a piece of them.
And they're eating sandwiches and you don't even have a grill.
It's a balancing act because you can go too far with it too.
Yeah, but those ones bum me out when you see the guys are like, we're going to one game but no one's really planning it. That's a balancing act because you can go too far with it too. Yeah, but those ones bum me out when you see the set.
The guys are like, we're going to one game, but no one's really planning it.
That's a bummer.
Yeah.
I'm not crazy about WVU's tailgate scene.
Oh, I love it.
It's fun, but I don't like to add the lot.
You guys should come down to LSU.
I like grass.
We're doing a video at a LSU game.
Which one?
Oh, yeah.
23rd?
What are you doing it for?
We're going to Rediscovering America.
New Orleans.
Do it for the Ole Miss game.
We're going to be there.
We tried, but there's a scheduled conflict for Donnie.
Ah, shit.
Dude, that's a different world.
Yeah.
I'll hook you up with the guys who have this tailgate.
It's fucking awesome.
They have it.
They actually do it perfectly. They have a lot right across from the stadium, with the guys who have like this tailgate it's fucking awesome they have it they they actually
do it perfectly they have a lot right across from the stadium and it's a club that you have to pay
an initiation fee for so everyone pays like a thousand bucks for the year and then one guy just
takes all the money and just blows it out that's awesome yeah they they like we went for the alabama
lsu game they had like the pig that looked like an elephant roasting.
They had like a DJ, Ice Luge, like all this shit.
And they're like, yeah, we just.
Every week?
Yeah, everyone pays and like then you can come to as many games or as few,
but it will always be there and it will always be banging.
I love that.
That's incredible.
It's great.
Full bar, all that shit.
I also do feel like those are the guys.
Like I look at those, the guys that run that and I'm like, that's a great full bar, all that shit. I also do feel like those are the guys, like I look at the guys that run that
and I'm like, that's a man.
Yeah.
There's something about it that I'm like,
that's the king of this lot area right here.
Like that, there's something about it.
A little kingdom, yeah, that they have
that they just like, yeah.
No, there's something like tribal about it.
Yes.
You go back and there's like different,
you can tell when like their borders end
and you're in somebody else's area.
Yeah.
Tiger, what was it?
It's something.
There's been plenty of tailgates where I was having so much fun that when it was time to go into the game, I was like, oh, man, fuck.
Can't we all just hang out out here?
What the fuck is their name?
I got to try to find it because they have an Instagram account for the tailgate.
That's big.
Yeah.
You know.
Huge.
I went to a Buffalo Bills bar in the city yesterday to watch the first half of the game.
Fun, fun fans.
I'm telling you, I have a feeling about them.
I just do.
I don't know what it means.
Yeah, you did say that yesterday.
I like them.
They're fucking good.
I just like them for some reason find this tailgate and they're and they're like these these guys who run this
tailgate they're like they're the super bowl favorites they're old school tailgaters where
like on their instagram account it's just like here's a picture of the tailgates and then now
here's just a picture of like a 22 year old in an lsu top yep yep That's how those guys use the internet. It's a formula that works though.
It does. Not us.
But wake up with Ashley's ass.
Was that a Barstool thing?
I don't remember.
Oh yeah, wake up with any ass.
Oh yeah, the wake up with vlogs.
Wake up with this
music video from, wake up with this butt.
Wake up with this. Is it second string tailgaters
maybe
yes
that sounds very familiar
yup
that's us
yeah
that's us
yeah
we're there
there's acid
look there's me on the luge
it's yeti butt
click that luge
you right under the ass
yeah there I am
that's you
that's their fucking tailgate dude
they are so sick
so you guys
yeah
the yeti ass so yeah I'll get you guys, yeah, the Yeti ass.
So, yeah, I'll get you guys hooked up there.
That would be great.
Are they welcoming to outsiders who aren't fans?
They love us.
No, they love Barstool.
They love Barstool.
They love us.
So, yeah, the Death Dome rising.
Let's see that.
Yeah, they put that up every day, every game.
Death Dome.
Oh, it's going up quick.
And you know what?
You know how it's a great tailgate too?
Because there's also like an area where kids are playing.
Yeah.
Which is like extra like, hey, this is fun for everyone, but we also have little kids
like throwing a football around.
That's a real tailgate.
Yeah.
Then those kids are going to be cool kids because they're just like, yeah, I went.
I used to like sneak beers when I was eight years old.
Best days when your parents were partying and you can.
Yeah, right.
I would play tackle football for eight hours.
Yeah.
And it's just fun.
And like all you have to do is just not bother your parents and they'll be happy.
Yep.
Yeah.
That's a that's a tailgate.
That's a tailgate.
Yeah.
The LSU tailgate.
Like, we walked in.
We were probably, like, staying a half mile from the stadium, maybe a mile.
We walked to that tailgate, maybe a 20-minute walk.
By the time we got to the tailgate, I was blackout drunk.
Like, every stop was just, like, there was one dude who he had just an entire cooler full of Capri Suns with vodka in them.
So he'd poke it, put vodka in, and then repackage it.
And he was just like, here, take this.
And it was just like, this is the most genius thing of all time.
Yeah.
And he's like, yeah, I make like 300 of them before every game.
I only do pudding shots at tailgates.
Is there anywhere else you can get pudding shots?
I will say. Never got jello shots i will say never got jello
shots i don't understand ever understood jello i love jello i like never got them maybe we should
make some for the uh 12 hour i used to make special jello shots like american flag or this
i would make my own recipes like fancy i had this book where you can make fancy all kinds of
different jello shots i'll do that for your.
You're sneaky domesticated.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You're Martha Stewart.
You're a trashy Martha Stewart.
Does anyone want a sandwich while I'm here?
Yeah, I would love to make a jello shot something or other.
I made a, for bachelor parties, I used to make a giant jello shot dick jiggler for whoever was getting married.
And then I would have whipped cream coming out of the tip. Oh, you thought of everything.
That's very funny. Yep. But it was a big
jello dick? It was a giant jello dick.
What flavor jello did you do? Mango. Always
mango. It's the best with cool whip
and whipped cream. Blue raspberry.
And vodka and whatever else.
150. Use 151.
Oh, I should.
Try it. I will. Jello shots with 151 yeah fuck though get your
room fucked one of my favorite um down in seattle they call them um 302s because it has two shots
of 151 in it but it's like a daiquiri and you can't taste the 151 at all yeah i've sat i've
almost broken my face with that yeah yeah it'll kill you. Yep. Sure will.
Kyle blacked out.
I like the 151 on fire
in those drinks too.
Yeah.
Kyle blacked out
in Central Park once.
We were just going to go there
and play pass play catch
and those guys came around
and said
the guy with the suitcase
Oh God.
Down the shore here.
I'll get you.
I'm always to my friends
I'm like watch your drinks
and then I'm down
in the rockways
buying booze out of a guy's trash bag. I'm like watch your drinks and then I'm down in the Rockways buying booze
out of a guy's trash bag
I'm like okay
I trust this
this is fine
probably rubbing alcohol
going anywhere
with the barstool mic
like at the Indy 500
walking around with the mic
people are just like
everything was like
here take a drink
take a drink
take a drink
and I was just like
yeah yeah yeah yeah
we were doing
Man on the Street in Kansas
and we were done
with the video
and Kyle just took
the mic with him
and just disappeared
that's not true
I got stuck.
I got lost. It was so dense.
Dude carried you away.
I couldn't move.
See you till the next morning.
Owen can vouch.
I was looking for you.
That was a great video.
It was easy.
When that happens, you guys
did the work for you.
It's a free video I know
scream and then
put the mic
doing man on the street
a little buzz
is very fun
yes
wasted
yeah
I think we have another one
coming up
I did one for the
MAAC championship game
in like
very cold
December Detroit
and I was hammered
and it was
very very fun
what was that
what was that scene
uh it was you
could pull it up remember I remember was it wasn't crowded no it was like I like I pretty much talked
to every person in Detroit that's like it's like an all-time video yeah I talked to every room out
you like alone in the stadium yes yes because it's like empty yeah yeah this rules yeah it was me and
Gaz yeah we were just like we're like, we want to do Man on the Street
And there was no one out
And we were like, alright, let's go to a bar
And then we just got fucked up
And we were like, alright, let's go see what we can do
I have to be very fucked
It's very apparent that I'm fucked up in this
I used to love doing those
Yeah, what were some of your other favorites?
I did the Chicago Sky
Obviously doing the
My favorite is
breaking the record
for
I'm hammered
oh it is very obvious
you can see it immediately
it is the first second
look at his eyes
those dark eyes
this is Big Cat reporting
championship in Detroit, Michigan.
I'll be totally honest with you guys.
I had a few drinks today.
I went to the casino during the day.
So who knows where this video is going to go.
If I had my druthers, I'd just be at the bar right now, but I'm out here for the stoolies.
I'm going to make a video.
It might be awful, but we're going to do it.
We're going to do it for the Mac.
This isn't a good video.
I hate watching the Old Blue Hill Coast.
This wasn't funny.
Old Barstool videos, they always have music on.
Can I get a word on Mac-tion?
Oh, no.
I think it's wonderful.
I said one word.
Is it true that Bowling Green leads the league in STDs?
That is false.
What is up with this?
These fans suck.
That is also false.
Oh!
Oh!
Kids had sex.
And you didn't need to get anybody to sign anything.
No.
Fuck.
Nine.
Got it.
Can I get a prediction?
BG4214.
Heard it here first from my man, the president of Bowling Green University.
Here he is.
You got a prediction?
Wait.
Oh, you first.
BG.
We got to walk, actually.
I just farted over here.
Sorry.
In terms of all.
Yeah, those videos don't.
I feel like they're not.
They were great at the time, and then I watched them.
Well, then people just keep doing them and doing them.
Yeah.
They don't have the charm anymore.
But the one where I beat the record at the Shed Aquarium for most stingrays pet.
Yeah.
Oh, I like the one.
That would have been the first barstool video I've ever seen.
Really?
I like the one where you beat the girl arm wrestler.
Oh, yeah.
Were you at a Little League game?
Yeah. That was awkward. Probably you at a Little League game? Yeah.
That was awkward.
Probably wouldn't do that one again.
I was just screaming and yelling at the Jackie Robinson West.
Yeah.
I bet so many stingrays that day.
I mean, the Renaissance Fair is obviously a huge classic.
Oh, yeah.
That's the best one.
I'm skinny.
Do you hear a sound?
Whole body. Whole body.
Whole body.
What gave you the idea?
They just said that it was, like, there's a, they did a Stingray Pet exhibit,
and I was like, I'm going to go break the record.
There's, like, a bunch of little kids there.
I was just like, how much did you get?
I got a fifth worth of stuff, and he was like, this guy's a sucker.
I'm going to get him.
I wake up earlier than that.
Look, the mic is terrible.
It was Dante filmed it.
Dante went with me.
It was just like, hey, let's just go down there.
When they had Beluga cam, I had that on on the second screen of my computer.
These are so hard for me to watch because I'm like. All genuine.
Listen how bad it is. I did love watching the baby Beluga when he was still a baby.
But like when you got this back, were you aware that the audio was fucked or like that?
Oh, we just, no, that's how it was.
Like, hey, we, like I said, Dante wasn't even working for Barstool.
He's just like, hey, can you grab a camera and we'll just go.
And yeah.
Fuck.
Stingray Pet. Still have the record. You should go break it. You should go. Yeah. Fuck. Stingray pet.
Still have the record.
You should go break it.
I should go break it.
Yeah.
It's been a while.
I should go back and break that thing.
Yeah, King Richard's Fair.
I almost got arrested at King Richard's Fair.
You were aggressive there.
I fake murdered too many people.
Some guy said that my wooden sword scratched his neck.
So they were like, we could charge you with the salt.
Were you drunk there, too?
No.
That was sober.
Yeah, that was a funny video.
I went to the Texas State Renaissance Fair,
what, like maybe a couple years ago.
And it was, I think I probably said it on here before,
like the horniest place I've ever been.
You went to a blowjob.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. You're like, blowjob. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Jenny Jizz.
Isn't Jenny Jizz, does she have
to suck off some wrestling fans?
Yeah, she does. Really? She owes a lot
of blowjobs. She still reaches out now and then.
She's like, how's the baby?
Really? That's sweet. Did you let her babysit?
No. She's a grandmother though.
She'd probably be great.
That's the guy who got mad at
you i was no it was someone else and we were we're just like talking like imposing wants to kill me
now i could have this sword and you'd be dead it's like one of these people
i think i'd be with her as a king i'm just trying to help you.
I'm shaking in my boots.
I've been here for 10 minutes and I already have a mortal enemy.
Gotta keep my head on the floor. Oh, I think it was that woman.
What?
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure because I kept on going around that guy.
Is that my wench?
We were rude to people.
I am their employee at the top.
Taking out tail feather for them.
Watching this back, it's like, wow, we were...
Yes.
Nowhere's that. No one's there. watching this bag wow first impressions of King Richard's
Fair
titty city
bro
yeah
titties are out
it's a very
horny place
King Richard's
Fair
pizza review royal pizza he's the first one or he's It's a very horny place King Richard's Fair Pizza Review
Royal Pizza
The first one was burrito
versus pizza
was how it started
It was Elliot's place right?
It might have been
The tenure for a lot of these videos
Has to be coming up
Yeah
September 21st
We were actually
Oh yeah
2013
We're talking about it
The bobsled video that we did
We got to try to recreate
Which would be so funny
If we all four of us
Went back up there
To Maine
Freeze our balls off
And then we went to
We went out in this small town in Maine
and Kevin and Gaz were staying
in a room together and me and Fights were staying in a room
together and I'm pretty sure Kevin just like
had to watch Gaz get head.
There he is right there if you want to confirm.
That was my interview process
for Barstool. Watching him get head?
Yeah.
Yeah, he's just
getting head in a lot of places
a lot of heads
someone's bound to see him
he's a blowjob king
we have to do a auction
oh we do?
I thought I said no
we have to
or no I don't know
I said no
we talked
we owe a certain number of deliverables so we have to do it Or no, I don't know. I said no. We talked.
Who did you talk to?
We owe a certain number of deliverables, so we have to do it.
I think we have a select number of things today.
I'm sure the fans will be fine with this.
Steven, you could make it right right now.
And start the auction?
No.
Give back all the money.
You should have to auction these things off.
Oh, there's Aria.
Aria, what happened?
There's an us in Slush, Steven.
Huh?
There's an us in Slush.
I understand how ads work.
Aria asked me, and I was like, let's take a week off.
But yeah, if we have to do it, let's do it.
What are we auctioning?
We have just a bunch of yak gear.
What does the chat look like right now?
Oh, yeah.
Dip your toe in that chat.
Starting right now.
I mean, spend what you want on what you want.
Spend what you want on what you want.
Let's have Chey.
Look, I'm not going to apologize for us having to do ads.
That's how this business runs.
That's how this show gets made.
I do understand it's awkward after what happened on Tuesday.
We'll build back.
We're going to build back.
Build back better.
Build back the trust. I believe the company offered to get us a large thing to auction off.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
We're going to auction off a car.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're wheels.
Yeah, we're going to auction off a car.
Oh, what?
Yeah.
So eventually we'll have a car.
It's going to be for verified users only, so make sure to sign up with WhatNot.
By the way, I love WhatNot.
It's not a WhatNot thing.
It's more of a we screwed ourselves.
Yes.
This is like Brett screwed Brett.
The yak screwed the yak.
We're starting off small with some stuff.
I thought we were going to auction off one of Tommy's
Duncan Awards as well.
Ooh, that's actually good.
I like that. Should we lump them all together into one
barstool-centric
cage? Yeah, what do we got?
Is that allowed? Then yeah.
Oh, this would be a good one then.
Oh, that's nice. A bunch of yaks. I wear that allowed? Then yeah. Oh, this would be a good one then. Ooh. Oh, that's nice.
Bunch of Yaks.
I wear that hat all the time.
Yak basketball hat.
An unreleased Yak hat.
Should we split these?
Aria, do we need to split these up or can we do one?
No, we can make it all one package.
Okay, great.
Brand new Yak shirt.
Yak wheel.
And Whatnot has great, like they have great auctions going on all the time.
Yak Shorts.
Cards, everything.
And since Tommy is not in town, we're going to take his Dunkin' Award.
Yeah, we'll do a Dunkin' Award as well.
You know what?
Let's do two.
We'll do that and then the Dunkin' Award.
We have the original from Newspaper Week, the Walker Tribune.
Brandon Walker newspaper.
All right. week the walker tribune oh brandon walker newspaper all right so this is all of the swag
and then we'll do a separate one for the duncan award i'm gonna go live right now all right perfect
what size uh the shirt is a x the sweatshirts are 2x and the shorts are a medium. So something for everybody. Yeah.
Yeah.
Ah, yes. Okay, are we live?
Tommy's Dunkin' Award. We are live.
Widest hips at Barstool. So we'll start with
the Yak Care Package.
The bidding has started at
105.
Boys.
Slow down, boys boys and if you win
and you want Big Cat to sign it or put like
a thousand bucks in it ask nicely
8 seconds 10 seconds left
at $189
this is really easy
unreleased
Yak Hat so those these Yak Hats like the one I'm wearing will be out Dylan underscore go Pretty good. This is really easy. Keep going. Unreleased Yak hats.
So these Yak hats, like the one I'm wearing, will be out.
Dylan underscore go has just won.
Yay.
Oh, yeah, Dylan.
Good job, Dylan.
What did it sell for?
$189.
That's actually probably a deal, considering how much stuff's in there.
You probably made out there.
Good bundle.
Next.
All right, this one actually is a real thing.
Duncan Award.
Historic night in Barstool history.
I wasn't here yet, but Kyle got yelled at.
I believe the show afterwards you made that sound.
Speechless.
Jeff D. Lowe really lit a fire under Jeff D. Lowe.
Pivotal moment.
Francis.
It was part of his demise.
I actually, luckily, that was right after my son was born.
I would have come dressed in sweatpants.
That's right.
I dodged a bullet.
A pivotal moment in Barstool history.
A lot of people that aren't here anymore were there.
A lot of hands have touched this.
The Tommy Smokes Duncan Award.
This is a two-stacked Duncan.
I wouldn't hate this going for very low.
Yeah.
But it's heavy.
It's made of a material.
Yeah, can't really be beat.
The Tommy Smokes Dunkin' Award.
Do we know what...
Great talking point.
If it's in your office
and somebody says,
what is that?
Boy, do you have a story to tell.
This is a historic night
and there's a limited supply of these.
This is numbered.
And those are real sandwiches. People don't realize. Yeah, they smell
like shit.
Alright, we have
several seconds left. Sold.
Sold. What did we sell for?
$191.
Yeah!
Hey, nice job.
Thank you to Whatnot.
Wonderful sponsor. Go check out Whatnot.
What is it?
$10 off first purchase for what code?
We have a sign-up link in the chat.
You get $10.
Sign-up link in the chat.
$10.
What would you do for $398?
You want to give it to me?
Leg cast.
But if you sign up for Whatnot and get verified,
you will be able to participate in the car auction, which is real.
Yes.
Like a legitimate car.
Which is pretty sick.
I kind of want in on it.
It's going to go less than what a real car is.
Yes.
All right.
Well, that was a good way to – we're easing our way back in.
Get ourselves back into the auction game.
We learn from our mistakes.
Yeah.
We won't be giving this to Stephen Che.
No.
Slush fund is, what did we get there?
$300?
Probably about $300.
Just under $400.
It's back to $3,500 because that $3,200 that I brought was part of the slush fund now.
So we could buy something cool.
Yes. Want to buy something cool?
No, let's buy one thing cool.
I think we should buy one thing cool.
Let's buy one thing cool.
What is something cool we can get for three?
No, no, $3,500.
Can we find that shooting net thing?
I wouldn't mind buying something in bulk.
Like $10,000 or something.
$10,000 ping pong balls?
Ping pong balls would be cool.
Chinese finger traps.
Two real ping pong balls.
Fortune cookies? Yeah.
How much is this thing?
The most popular option.
Oh, that's...
Can I buy it on Amazon?
I have a question, though. Is it only one-time
use, or can you keep reloading it?
Good question.
One time? No, we're not getting that. It's only one time use or can you keep reloading it? One time.
No, we're not getting that.
It's only one time?
That's a waste.
No, I think you can reuse it.
You know what would be great?
Have an instructor come in here who does the mace, the taser, the net, and do it all and just have a day.
Where we get tased?
Police departments will do those days where they show all their capacity, like all the stuff they can do. Oh, we should do that. Not tased. I'll get peppered. No, we would rather get tased. Police departments will do those days where they show all their capacity, like all the stuff they can do.
Oh, we should do that.
Not tased.
I'll get pepper sprayed.
Yeah, no.
I would rather get tased than pepper sprayed.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I would rather get pepper sprayed.
I know, but I hate shocks.
I kind of want to experience it.
I think it's one of those things that if we do it,
everyone has to do everything.
Yeah.
Pepper spray's bad.
We have to all do it. Good for the show. It would be great for the everyone has to do everything. Pepper spray's bad. We have to all do it.
Good for the show.
It would be great for the show if everyone did everything.
Sass won't do it.
If you're an instructor out there who'd like to come pepper spray us or tase us or something.
Oh, I can see your cock.
Are you not wearing boxers?
I am. And it has a liner. Okay. i don't know it doesn't yeah oh my first time seeing it
no it's not
oh yeah i forgot even close yeah
it's a cool thing we can buy on Amazon.
There are some people in the chat interested in a yak parlay with the slush fund or some of the slush funds.
Okay.
Okay.
I would put one in for us.
That win back the fans?
Oh, yeah, we could probably get our money back.
So how do we decide it, though?
I guess the wheel.
If everybody picks a pick and put it into a 10-leg or something?
Well, the wheel.
Or if everybody brings a player prop and puts it on the wheel and we choose a certain amount?
I don't know.
I think you put every NFL game on the wheel.
Right? Is that allowed? Yeah. I don't know. Oh, is that allowed? Why? every NFL game on the wheel.
Right?
Is that allowed?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Oh, is that allowed?
Why?
Betting by random chance.
Weren't you betting with a fish?
Yeah, I was betting with a fish. Oh, well, yeah, I guess that's true.
Yeah, I like that.
Yeah, so put them all.
Maybe do overs.
Maybe do over and unders.
I think those are more fun.
Yeah.
And let's just do, what, four?
Three?
Three?
Four?
Three or four.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, so I'll put $1,000 on a yak parlay.
Okay.
Every week.
Oh, that's cool.
And we'll do it every Friday.
And whatever we win, we'll put in the slush fund.
There needs to be a punishment for if the thing we pick doesn't hit.
Well, it's a wheel.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
So every week I will put $1,000 on this parlay,
and if it hits, I'll take the money out,
and it'll be in the slush fund.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
There we go.
Okay.
Yak parlay.
All the over-unders.
You don't have to do the actual numbers, TJ.
You can just put each game over-under.
I was going to put each game on one wheel and then over-under on a second wheel.
Oh, okay. I like that.
Cool.
That was smart.
It is smart.
That's very smart.
So hopefully we win.
That would be sick.
All we have to do is win like three or four times
this year. Are we going to
let it
ride or you're taking it out and putting it
directly? It's up to you guys.
We could just keep
track of it and then at the end of the
year, if we're up, it all
gets pulled out. And if we're down,
we're just down.
I'm down with that.
So yeah, we just got to win a couple times.
Okay.
We had that Chazé parlay.
I think we went like 0-45 and they stopped asking us for it.
Yep.
You were really close.
We did the math.
We only had to hit it once a year to be profitable.
We accidentally put 9 instead of eight, and the first eight hit.
One-one.
Yeah.
Damn.
Yeah.
That was wild.
If you were taking the pick straight up, yeah, they were going like seven and two every week.
Yeah, we weren't doing bad.
Kyle, how do you feel about your Jets this year, man?
No.
Bad.
No is the answer to that.
Yeah, I don't even watch them.
I don't root for them.
If they got good?
I know you're fucking lying.
I like watching good teams, good players.
Jets have good players.
Kyle's a huge pro ball fan.
I'm going to watch Tiafoe Alcaraz tonight.
Are you going?
Yeah. With who going? Yeah.
With who?
Game time.
Nice.
And who?
A friend.
Tennis friend.
Oh.
Is she a girl?
No.
Is she a girl?
No.
It's a guy tennis friend.
My dude tennis friend.
Is your dude tennis friend?
Yeah.
The matches have been insane.
What was the one that was like
actually really fun to watch?
I don't watch tennis.
I woke up in the middle of the
night. The baby woke up at like 1 in the morning and I
couldn't fall back to sleep and all these people were like, Kate, just put
tennis on. It's still going right now.
Over at the stadium.
He's 19. My thing is
I know that I respect
tennis. I know that it's probably fun to
watch, but I have to draw the line
somewhere with sports. I can't
watch every sport, so i'm doing a
hard line with tennis yeah and it's never watching where does it end if you go tennis right that
seems like a good stopping point correct tennis and then i tried f1 and i'm stopped with that
that's just because have you tried playing pickleball i feel like you would like i have
i'm pretty fucking good no i i've played played once, and it was kind of boring.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I mean, it was fun, but it's just like you've got to find pickleball friends.
I'm like, let's go play pickleball.
And it's called that.
So I can't believe that it could be that fun.
Yeah.
My mom plays it as well.
And my dad, yeah.
My dad plays it.
He's on the joints.
Yeah, he's standing in one place, yeah.
You see the handball courts here?
You ever see people playing handball?
Slinging it.
It's insane.
That shit is crazy.
Crazy.
Chris playing in jeans.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
What country dominates handball?
Gotta be India.
Russia.
Are you talking about team handball or the slap off the wall?
Team handball is the easiest sport in the entire world.
At one, we've had a lot of back and forth with PMT and the handball community
because if you watch it, like I know everyone jokes like,
oh, if we put our best athletes, we'd win a World Cup.
If we just put like Patrick Mahomes and Aaron Rodgers on a handball team,
we would win everything.
They'd just fucking run around with a ball and throw it in the goal.
Is that all?
I don't even know what it is.
That's all it is?
Yeah.
It looks like a lot of fun, but it's –
It's technically a dribble.
Like you get three steps before you have to pass it,
but like Patrick Mahomes –
Right.
Yeah.
And the handball community gets so upset when we say that.
It's like, no, no, no.
We're pretty confident that they would dominate.
I was talking about the balls.
Take a baseball pitcher.
Yeah, I was thinking that.
I was talking about the one they play in the city here.
Yeah, this is team handball.
It's a little ball.
They run around.
There's two goals.
It's like basketball with no dribbling.
You still can't travel.
How small is the goal?
Like a soccer net.
No, it's less.
It's like in between soccer and hockey. Mahomes could just How small is the goal? Like a soccer net. No, it's less. It's like in between
soccer and hockey.
Yeah, it's like...
Mahomes could just throw that
from the length of the field.
Correct.
It's closer to a hockey...
It's like a hockey net.
Okay.
A soccer goal is huge.
And the best is when the goalie
just gets fucking smoked
in the face.
I'm thinking of like
soccer nets, I suppose.
Yeah.
What's the ball made of?
I think it's like
a little mini soccer ball, right?
Isn't it?
Yeah.
Something like that.
And they use like spider tack to stick the ball to their head.
There's a guy on TikTok that just puts spider tack on handball balls and goes viral every
day.
Yeah.
Like Justin Verlander.
You just give him the ball and you just.
It's allowed.
You're allowed to do that.
It's like part of the game is that you like move up.
Yeah.
I'm making this wheel.
Hold on. Oh, fuck. I forgot my bed. It's a play wheel the game Is that you like Lube up Yeah I'm making this wheel Hold on
Oh fuck I forgot
My bad
It's a ballet wheel
Oh yeah now you can just
Now you can just do this wheel
Every
Every Friday
DJ you don't have to
Remake the wheel
Yep
Look at that
How'd he be more excited than that
Yeah
I guess I'm
Complimenting him for his own
Smarts
Yeah I can't I guess I'm complimenting him for his own smarts. Yeah.
I got you, bro.
I got you, bro.
Thank you.
I thought you were trying to quit, Kyle.
Let's go exactly until 2.59 today.
Cut it short.
I've almost killed the commenters who make that joke every day.
Is it the same guy?
No, I think what happens with...
I forget sometimes how the... who make that joke every day. Is it the same guy? No, I think what happens with, and you, like,
I forget it sometimes how the internet works.
One guy did it once.
It was very funny.
Got a million upvotes.
Now there's a bunch of dudes
that try to do it every day.
And they're slowly, slowly getting less upvotes.
I think if we stop right at 259,
just be like, here you go.
You can make the joke that we didn't
go two hours.
Holy shit!
Look at that goo.
Those are the nets.
Oh!
You can dribble
it, I think. Holy shit!
But then there's that little circle. You can't
go inside the circle.
We had some of that tack in here, and it is really fucking sticky.
These guys are probably decent athletes, but again,
there's no way they can throw a ball harder than Aaron Rodgers.
Or Josh Allen.
Josh Allen would fucking throw it through their face.
But does the shape and size of the ball differ with speed and velocity?
I think Josh Allen could throw.
I think if you just got a cannon, you got a cannon.
What about like a baseball player, like a pitcher?
Yeah, no, I think anyone who has that type of arm talent
could just throw it faster than everyone else.
There's no way these guys have better arms than Josh Allen.
Or are there different skills you have to learn to master the sport?
There's people guarding you, just like getting open,
like point guards from the NBA would dominate.
Right.
Any position.
Listen, I'm not...
I'm cool with the handball community.
I don't want to ruin that.
This goalie's nasty, though.
Holy shit.
Yeah, that's pretty tough.
Oh, no.
That looked pathetic.
Yep.
So you do have to...
You can dribble.
What sport is this?
What country is this big in?
It's super big in Europe, Eastern Europe.
I think they said it's like a top three most popular sport in Europe.
It's a very fun-looking sport.
It does look fun.
But I stand by my take, and I think it's correct.
Yeah.
I don't think when we joke about the soccer thing,
I don't think that's correct because...
No.
If our best athletes were soccer players, we'd be dominant.
You think?
The most popular sport in the United States.
Yeah.
They'd have to be...
No?
They would have to be playing soccer when they're like two.
That's a completely different... Yeah. LeBron couldn't just switch over and be great. Correct. It's like those athletes started... Yeah, they'd have to be playing soccer when they're like two.
LeBron couldn't just switch over and be great.
Correct.
It's like those athletes started.
That's my point about handball.
Josh Allen, you give him one month, he'd be the best handball player,
in my opinion.
That's fair.
Yeah.
LeBron, if he played soccer for a month, he would still suck at soccer. It's super transferable skills.
Correct.
It's all games that everyone in America play.
It's basketball, it's baseball, it's football all skills. Correct. It's all games that everyone in America play. It's basketball,
it's baseball,
it's football all combined.
Easy.
We should just do it.
We should play.
Just do it.
Alright, yeah,
spin the real wheel.
I left my backpack
here last night
but I was going to
bring extra clothes.
I had a bad feeling
about today.
Oh.
Fucking dickhead.
You dick.
Oh.
Oh.
Thank God.
Thank you, guys.
So this is you and Che come up with a punishment.
This is your LeBarnardin replacement spot.
Okay.
Okay, so we have to think of something.
All right, so we'll think of something.
Yeah.
So we have to think of something.
Right now?
No, just, I mean, we could think about it right now,
but we have to think of something that someone has to do.
No, wasn't this supposed to be your punishment?
No, my punishment is I have to go to lunch with Chain.
That's rude.
Right.
That sucks, big cat.
Yeah.
I like Nate.
Yeah, it's mental torture.
Yeah.
I'd much rather... You might have to intentionally choke on your food
It's so hard dude
It's just snails and shit
It's unchokeable
I don't even think we can bring in cameras
So it's not even like we can ham it up
I'd rather have the recap
And just have a conversation
Nate's gonna ask me about my kids
Can you tape it like Eddie did in Surviving
Just put your phone down
Record the two hours I do like Nate Nate's going to ask me about my kids. Can you tape it like Eddie did in Surviving? Just put your phone down? Yeah.
Record the two hours?
Yeah.
I do like Nate, but yeah, it's more the Nate-Che combo.
Don't you have to think of a punishment now and then we pick out who gets it?
Yes.
But I don't know.
Do we have to?
You don't have to.
I'd rather you think about it.
We can come with one on Monday.
So, well, here's an idea.
So this was technically Roan's idea of like a good thing.
We could do a good thing, too. No, the Leigh-B technically Rowan's idea of like a good thing.
We could do a good thing too.
No, the Leigh-Bennard Inn was supposed to be a good thing.
Oh, you're saying we also do a good thing? I'm saying that's an option.
Right.
I'm trying to think what good thing would be best for content.
Right.
Right.
A week at the Yacht from a water park that we live at.
Oh, living at a water park.
This is for one person?
It's a Great Wolf Lodge.
Someone doing Great Wolf Lodge.
Bathhouse Day?
No, it's not that good.
You guys want to do a bathhouse?
We could have someone be like...
I want something pretty good.
One person wins and one person loses,
and the other person has to get their coffee and lunch for them every day for a month.
A butler?
Yeah.
I would hate that.
Yeah. On either side. Yeah. I would hate that.
On either side.
I hate when people get me shit. Punishment should be bad.
I want somebody to have to have it. We'll think of one.
We'll hook up with one. Somebody to have to get braces.
Get braces. Oh my god. So funny.
I kind of want them.
I want braces. Yeah, I need them.
I need them bad.
Can we make someone get braces?
Do we have any orthodontist yak fans?
Can you just get them on and then take them right off after like a week?
Yeah, you can have braces for a week.
Yeah, that'd be awesome.
I think that's what we gotta do.
I still want Che in the dip set fit, though.
Braces for a week?
Big Cat, you and I would be immune from this.
Oh, braces hurt so bad.
They really do.
I don't think the orthodontist would tighten them.
I think you just have them.
Oh, that would be...
Yeah.
Like, unlinked.
I actually...
I have a gap.
I wouldn't mind closing her up.
I know.
I really...
An Invisalign.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
I'd be down to make braces
the punishment.
It would be...
It would be a big follow-through
because someone would actually
have to go...
Like, they can't do that in here,
I don't think.
Why not?
It's just like... Could we... If we could do it in here, that's perfect.
Well, let me Google some shit.
Can you just put braces on?
Can you just put braces on?
Because they have like, they have to like cut.
Copy set, buddy.
They have to like cut the wire.
Just like shift DIY.
Yeah, just the top.
Because I think it's just like cement and then they wire the wire through.
Cement?
It was that shitty, I forget what that was.
Yeah, but they like cut the, I don't know.
I feel like there's more than transport.
Do you know any orthodontists?
Mine died.
One that asked me how those teeth hold it up.
I have a dentist.
I have a dentist.
Do you know a dentist is like the most depressed profession?
They kill themselves a lot.
Yeah, a lot. A lot, a lot. I don't know if it's know dentist is like the most depressed profession? Yeah, they kill themselves a lot. Yeah, a lot.
A lot, a lot.
I don't know if it's the same if there's crossover to orthodontia.
DIY braces.
Was that the guy that Minahan caught?
Was that the dentist or was that the other person?
The Boston one.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Shout out to them though.
That's pretty cool.
Can you get braces for free?
Che, what's Skip It?
Skip It
It's like a
Kate, help me out here
Skip It, the game
Yes
DIY braces are not safe
and should never be used
Well, we would be doing this ourselves
I'm seeing if we could do it ourselves
Oh, no, that wouldn't be doing this ourselves. I'm seeing if we could do it ourselves. I think Dr. Dan can put them on.
No, that wouldn't be safe.
Somebody suggested acrylic nails for a week.
Oh, that's funny.
Yeah, that's really, really good.
Oh, that's worse than braces.
Oh, fuck.
Thank you, Yad listener.
Good.
I want this to be Lil' Jax.
Wait, wait, wait.
And can you guys
Like we get to pick
Yeah
Style and the type
Are we finding out
Who gets this now
Because that's how
Atlanta would like to
Yes
I would say they have to be
At least an inch
Oh my god
I also am going to say
Right now I think
Steven and I have to be on this
Because we
We got a good punishment
You think we should be
On this wheel
I think isn't that the rules
You don't have to
Okay alright Alright fine I'm thinking like Cardi B nails The woman who does those We got a good punishment. You think we should be on this wheel? I think, isn't that the rules? You don't have to. The rules are right.
Okay, all right.
All right, fine.
I'm thinking like Cardi B nails.
The woman who does those is in the Bronx that has like...
I hope it's Brandon.
I hope it's Brandon.
So bad.
Oh, my God.
Brandon would be perfect.
Can you imagine Sass?
Sass wouldn't do it.
I don't think he would do it.
No, he has to.
Otherwise, he'd stop the show.
Okay.
Like, this is hilarious on anybody.
Yes.
Even Kate.
Yes, but not.
All right.
You guys.
Yeah, you would look out of place as hell.
Someone FaceTime Brandon and someone FaceTime Sass.
I'll FaceTime Roan.
Yeah, Brandon.
Okay.
Because we just got to tell them.
Just so they know.
Someone's FaceTimed Sass.
This would be bad for my ability to do my job.
Oh, yeah.
Sucks for you, too.
I don't.
I don't think Sass has my number, so we'll see if he picks up, but I doubt it.
Oh!
Brandon.
Hey.
We landed on a punishment.
Hold on.
You go with Brandon first.
We landed on a punishment wheel.
It's going from both.
It hasn't landed on you yet, but Big Cat and Chase punishment is acrylic nails for a week.
Big old nails.
Did you hear that, Rowan?
So if you want to tune into the Yak and see if it's going to be you.
Wait, I'm getting it right.
Not yet.
All right, man.
All right, so yeah.
So we're going to spin the wheel right now,
but the punishment is acrylic nails for a week,
and you are on the wheel.
Yeah, it won't be you.
Here's the good news.
I should have said the good news first.
The good news is the thing we were deciding between was acrylic nails and getting braces.
Wait, I need braces.
That's what Nick and Kate said. All right, so I'll let you know if you lose but it's acrylic nails for a week
that's tough
all right okay all right we're about to spin it. All right, bye.
Oh, all right, so sass.
He's not answering.
I don't know if he's traveling.
I'll call him.
Yeah, he might be shooting guns today.
Oh.
He has no choice.
This is such a great fucking punishment.
That is.
That is brilliant.
Whoever shot that.
It's worse than a cast, I think.
Get that person's username.
We gotta send them a free shirt.
If you're not used to it, too,
because for prom and for one other thing,
once I had them,
if you're not used to it, it's hard to function.
I'm gonna take it off.
Wiping your ass?
I believe it was Caroline Dewey in the chat.
All right, so Caroline Dewey,
I don't know, somehow get in in the chat. All right, so Caroline Dewey. Thank you, Caroline. Somehow get in touch with us.
I'm giving you a free shirt.
Well done, Caroline.
Caroline Dewey, what a fucking call.
Holy shit.
That is...
All right, I'm ready for this.
Yeah, let's go.
We're doing Eliminator?
Yeah, let's do it.
Let's get the best of seven for the last.
Yes, and then we'll figure out the parlay at the end.
I really don't want this.
That could be a whole video, too.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
All business Pete's on there.
And I think this is, let's just
set the stage right now.
It's Monday morning
to Friday after the show.
The entire week.
Work week.
Oh, my God.
I kind of want to be on this wheel. Put me on the wheel.
Put me on the wheel.
I can't be off the wheel.
Put him on the wheel. I want to be on the wheel.
He's a gambler. Che. Che.
Join us, brother. You're in, Che.
Get on the wheel, Che.
Get on the wheel.
Get on the wheel.
Get me on that
wheel.
Fuck yes.
It's going to be
you now.
Oh, I'm sure.
But you can't sit
on a wheel.
Are you going to
make for great
upfronts on Wednesday?
Oh, fuck the
upfronts.
Oh, no.
Vegas.
Oh, no.
Vegas.
Oh, no.
This was a
mistake.
Get me off the
wheel.
Get yourself off the wheel.
Take AVP off because I don't even want to have to have a conversation with him where he's a bitch.
His weird ass will probably like it.
Dude, I'm going to Vegas on Thursday, too, and I'll be on the plane.
Click, click, around.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
This is horrendous.
That's bad.
This is horrendous. And I bad. This is horrendous.
And I have to drop my kid off at school.
And explaining it would make it worse.
I'm not dropping my kid off at school if this happens.
Fuck.
Wiping your ass would be tough.
It's true.
How do you get them off?
You have to go.
These kind of, you could really fuck up your nails if you try and do it yourself, like
your actual undernails.
You have to go back and get them professionally taken.
Fuck!
Come on, the wheel is just.
It's not going to be you. The wheel is just.
They know not to do that to me.
Stop.
No!
Boo!
Fuck. Boo, boo, boo. It would have been great.
It would have been great.
Yes.
I mean, obviously, Kate is the worst person to have this for.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, she'd still look out of place.
I would still feel.
I would feel like a weirdo.
Kate's just have to be bigger.
I'm going to say right now, if Kate wins, she's got to do it.
But then we've got to re-spin it.
You needed that dub.
Yeah.
We're going.
Yeah.
If Kate wins, we're going to re-spin it.
Someone has to do it.
They don't have to do it.
They have to be double length. Kate's have to be very long.
But then one of us has to still do it.
Yeah, deal.
But Kate has to get the longest they can.
I want her to look like that
Indian dude in the Guinness Book of World Records.
There you go.
Son of a bitch. I look like a hero
right now. Yes, you do.
Although if Kate wins, I'm back on it. You are right. That's true. So I'm rooting for. I look like a hero right now. Yeah, you do. Yes, you do. Although if Kate wins, I'm back on it.
You are right.
That's true.
So I'm rooting for Kate to be off.
Having a girl on the show sucks.
Yeah, I'm sorry, guys.
I'm sorry.
Not fast.
No!
It's actually better.
Yeah.
Didn't want to have to deal with that.
I'm doing a stand-up set.
I'll hold the mic like that.
I'll make sure my outfit matches the nail.
I'll look weirder with my clothes than I will.
I also am just going to say it.
I think acrylic nails should just be on the wheel now.
Yes.
Caroline, genius.
Just all of us just ending up at random times.
This wheel is not just today.
I needed to see that.
No, you know what the most
Josh the outcome is. We all know.
It's Che.
It's Che.
It's Che.
I trust the wheel.
Oh boy.
A little big for my liking.
He's going to go from a cast to this. He has to host the
up-fronts.
Phenomenal.
Those Long Island
medium duck nails? Yeah.
Like the real wide. I'm going to say
that if Roan gets it, he doesn't have to do it next
week. He has to do it the week after because it could fuck up
the upfronts. We're at the upfronts.
Yeah, but he's hosting it. Oh, yeah.
If he's standing there the whole time,
people are like, what is going on?
I don't want to fuck with our money.
Erica, care if I'm there?
I think everyone else is fine.
I think anyone else would add to it.
Yes, but Roan having to do the entire show with them
and people being like, what's going on here?
He'll just get clear.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, there we go.
Oh, fuck.
You're safe now.
Oh, yeah, I'm safe.
There it is.
It knew. Solid final four. I'm safe. There it is. It knew.
Solid final four.
I'm starting to get nervous.
Solid final four.
Oh, fuck.
Solid final four.
I love this so much.
This might be my favorite thing that's ever been on the wheel.
It's not like that.
Is it this upcoming Monday?
It's not dangerous.
It doesn't hurt you.
It's just super embarrassing.
And inconvenient. You've got to be. It's just super embarrassing. And inconvenient.
You've got to be in here on Monday with her.
Nice.
There you go, KB.
Roan's watching right now.
Shout out, Roan.
He just got his cast off.
Oh, no.
Getting the nails on.
The wheel should know I have two young children.
Oh, that would be such a pain in the ass.
Everything.
Very difficult.
You'll be snagging everything.
Wiping another butt with long nails.
That's tough.
Thank you, wheel.
Thank you.
If this is Roan.
Or Roan.
If this is Roan, this is not fair.
Or Roan.
Or Roan.
Nick. Everyone needsan. Nick.
Everyone needs Nick to win.
I feel like these are the two people I'd want least to like, I just feel bad the most for.
I don't know.
Punishment is me.
I'm going to face time back.
So wait.
So it's the first person to four doesn't have to get it, right?
Right.
Oh.
Yeah, see, you confused us, Che. If it hits your name four times, you're off the wheel. So the last person on would it, right? Right. Oh. Yeah, see, you confused us, Che.
If it hits your name four times, you're off the wheel, so the last person on would lose,
right?
Yes.
Yes.
We probably decide that every time.
He's watching.
Here, I'll flip the camera so you can watch live.
All right, so we have Roan on mic. camera so you can watch live. We'll get...
Alright, so Roan is... We have Roan on mic.
Here, TJ, I'll do this.
If it lands on you four times, you
have to do it or don't?
You win. You're safe.
But you want it to land on your name.
So Roan's set up.
Nick, whatever happens,
Nick, whatever happens, you should do this.
That is true.
I'm going to flip the camera so that we get Roan's face.
He makes a good point.
But, Roan, you know what?
For the sake of it, let's both spin this wheel, and whoever it lands on will get it.
All right.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Okay.
So, first one to four is safe. Can you see it, Roan? I see it. Alright, fine, fine, fine. Okay, so first one to four is
safe. Can you see it,
Roan? I see it.
Florida Gators.
God damn it.
God damn it.
I don't want it to be Roan.
I feel like he's been...
One for Nick.
Roan, this is brutal after the cast.
I said that you don't have to do it for next week because the upfronts.
We have to do that.
Yeah, we have to make a reservation.
Oh, my God.
Two for Nick.
Oh, no. Oh my god Two for Nick Oh no
Sweep him
Sweep him
Oh no
Oh my god
Sweep him
It's a blowout
It's a fucking blowout
This feels
It's a blowout
One more This is where you hope Fucking blowout. This feels not right. It's a blowout.
One more.
This is where you hope the wheel pulls through and does the right thing.
The fuck, Kate?
Sorry, but it's true.
It's Roan again.
Roan, why are you speeding up in the car?
Yeah, Roan.
Roan just crashed. It's a clean sweep. Oh, my crash. Oh.
It's a clean sweep.
Oh, my God. Sweep.
Bring out the brooms.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
I'm so relieved.
He hung up.
I'm so relieved.
Holy shit.
Oh.
He hung up so fast.
Yeah, that sucks.
That sucks so bad.
He's going to be so sassy in those things.
He's going to be.
What's the word?
Feisty?
Frisky.
That's what it is.
It's going to be real frisky in them.
They're so annoying if you're not used to them.
Oh, my God.
He can't just sneak and take those off.
Poor Roan.
He's really gotten it.
I do think we should keep acrylic nails on the fucking wheel.
Yeah, I like acrylic nails.
That's such a funny thing.
We just take off punishment and just change it with acrylic.
Acrylic nails, yeah.
What else do we have on the wheel right now?
No, we could take off Monster Dip.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, we've done that.
So we just make that acrylic nails.
Yes, I say yes. I think it's so funny yeah and it really like it won't it won't stop being funny because everyone
who has to do it is just gonna be so miserable it'll be and imagine how funny it'll be it will
be if it's roan again yeah yeah it's perfect likes it yeah it's perfect. If he likes it. Yeah, Roan just embraces it.
How are we going to pick out his design?
That's a good question.
So wait, Roan is back on deciding the next punishment.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, that's a problem.
Yep.
He did a nice one last time.
That's a big problem.
Yeah, and he did a nice one.
He's going to do a really mean one this time.
It's going to be like...
He sacrificed his punishment to the wheel,
gave Leigh Barden Dean,
and it spit in his face. It spit, yeah. Gave him acrylic nails. He's going to be like... He sacrificed his punishment to the wheel, gave Leigh Barden Dean and it spit in his face.
It spit, yeah.
Gave him acrylic nails.
He's going to come back
with a vengeance.
It might just...
Yeah, it's going to cause harm.
Fuck.
Frank Shuey is back on the table,
I'd imagine.
Probably.
Damn it.
I would do Frank Shuey
before the acrylic nails.
Absolutely not.
What?
Oh, no way, Kyle. That'll be done. What? Oh, no. What, Kyle?
That'll be done.
What?
That'll be done in a jiff.
Yeah, actually, I...
Like nails, just not only your look everywhere you go in public, but just dealing with manipulating
things with your hands.
Oh, man.
I think that might be a lot.
Frank Shuey, I don't know.
I feel like I've...
I think you just puke right away.
You have to puke right away.
What out of it?
Beer.
Beer.
Full beer.
I mean, it's gross as hell, but you would still taste...
You probably wouldn't taste like...
It's the thought.
It's the thought.
It tastes like a Ritz.
Because that man does not wear socks.
Nope.
He does not.
He does not wear socks.
He does not.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
That's so horrid. And it's going to be me.
You guys don't have to worry.
That's the most me thing.
Oh, man.
I think Ronan will give us something worse.
Yeah, he has too much time to prep.
Someone's going to die.
Yeah.
He might be so mad that he's just like...
Yeah, I would just be mad.
Yeah.
Oof.
All right, should we...
How do you explain that to your wife?
We'll find out when Ronan gets acrylic nails. All right, should you explain that to, like, your wife? We'll find out when Roan gets the acrylic nails.
All right, that's true.
That's true.
Just got off having a cast.
Oh, he did, yeah.
I feel like, yeah, he should have been exempt.
No.
No.
No.
He shouldn't have done the Leigh Barnard den,
which I still have to do.
Fuck.
Maybe we'll do it during a yak,
and then we can just maybe, like...
Rowan technically decided this punishment.
Yeah.
No.
Because it was you and him, right?
No.
It was me and Shay.
Oh, no, no, no.
Yeah.
That's why I put myself back on the wheel.
All right, so this is...
Brandon's not watching.
We could say he won.
He just texted me, and he said, sorry.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
But he texted me when I was in the final two.
I'm going to text Rowan and just say, are you okay?
All right, so this is for...
Isn't he going to a funeral?
Oh, no.
Well, he was deciding whether to go to a funeral or a wedding.
It was a really hard decision.
That's tough.
He's doing both.
Goddamn.
But he'll show up fun and flirty yeah yeah yeah he will yeah
that sucks so bad so glad it was him
oh my god hey ron aren't you the battle rap champion
what are you doing now?
I was thinking, like, I was mentally prepping for how I was going to, like, you know, take the subway, hoodie, hands in pockets.
But just, like, go home.
And typing would be a bitch.
Texting.
Texting.
You'd have to dap everyone up backhanded.
Oh, dude, I, like, lift every day.
That would have sucked.
Would you have still gone?
I would have had to.
I can't just stop.
He said he's thinking of having one of us go bald.
Oh, no.
No.
I respect it.
It's his right.
I couldn't do it.
I don't know.
Oh, I didn't even fucking think about that
Bald
Oh
That would be very funny
No
That would be very funny
My head shape
I would look so much fatter than I already look
I have a mole on the top of my head
Oh man Fuck Oh Sass would love that I have a mole on the top of my head. Oh, man.
Fuck.
Oh, Sass would love that.
No, because he buzzed.
Is he thinking like a Bic?
Oh, yeah.
Full buzz.
Oh, my God.
That's good for Zod.
Yeah.
I'm dying for that one to land on me.
Stephen Jay would probably love that.
Kate would not love that.
Ron wants to do bald.
I am so desperate to stay on this show, I would do it.
I mean, yeah, I would do it.
I'm a hat guy anyway.
We all have to do it.
It's up to Ron now.
You can still tell when the hat's on.
I think I'd look more sickly.
I'd look sick.
The most evil man alive has now gets to decide our next punishment.
Like, Ron is diabolic.
Would you all do it, the bald thing?
You have to.
You have to.
You have to.
And you just have to, yeah, just rock a hat.
Okay.
Yeah.
You can get a wig.
It'd probably be great for me.
Oh, I'd get a toupee.
Oh, yeah.
You'd be like, what are you going to say?
That'd be great for advisors.
Yeah, that would be.
It's a really bad toupee.
Bald is brutal.
Shiny bald.
I'm excited to spin for bald.
I mean, just one of us bald would be so fucking funny.
I think it's going to roll.
And it would last, I mean, it would last like five months.
Is it that long?
For full hair?
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, you'd have like short hair for the rest of the year. It would be coming up for probably like two months. Is it that long? For full hair? Yeah. I mean, yeah, you'd have like short hair
for the rest of the year.
It would fuck me up
for probably like two years.
Yeah.
If my hair didn't grow back.
It would.
What if it didn't?
It would suck.
Now I'm just bald?
Yeah, I guess you're
just a bald guy now.
Yeah.
He's going to pick that.
They say bald guys
have more testosterone.
Yeah, but not bald
by choice.
He said eyebrows too.
Yes.
No, that's no.
When he woke up in that pod.
Charlie Villanueva.
Alopecia wheel.
Eyebrows.
Facial hair too, Nick.
Everything would be.
I'd look like a headless Barbie, dude.
I'm perfectly round. I'm a perfect sphere up here. When I roll over in bed like a headless Barbie, dude.
I'm perfectly round. I'm a perfect sphere up here.
When I roll over in bed, I just fall on the ground.
Just go. Nothing to stop me.
I would love to see you nared head to
toe. Good God. I can't picture you
without hair. I can't picture you with short hair.
Jesus. When's the last time you had short hair?
I mean,
I only get like one haircut a year.
Really? Yeah yeah I really want
I want to spin the bald wheel right now
I know
I'm excited for that
it'll be an event
oh god
I'm hoping
I don't know
fuck
eyebrows is really what takes it over
eyebrows is the thing that
yeah I'm already accepting it
I think I want it the least
I don't want to say what I was going to say
Brandon wouldn't do it I think I think if you have two I don't want to say what I was going to say.
Brandon wouldn't do it.
I think if you have two eyebrows, too, you just have to be like, I have cancer.
Yeah, you do.
Yeah.
Because people are going to assume it. It would be a white lie.
Yeah.
Like, you don't say it, but you let people assume it.
Yeah, I'd wear a scarf on the top of my head.
Right.
Wear a ribbon.
I'd embrace it, yeah.
Live strong bracelet. Again, you wouldn't say it Wear a ribbon. I'd embrace it. Live strong bracelet.
Again, you wouldn't say it.
Right, you'd never say it.
I would. When people had pity for you.
If someone asked, I'd be like,
yes.
To make it less awkward.
Can we, if it is bald,
can we do it at the end of a case race episode
so I'm...
You have the liquid courage.
Right.
Yeah, winner shaves the loser's head.
Or winner shaves whoever gets the punishment.
That would be such a terrible hangover to wake up bald.
If you win the case race, you could get out of it.
I would look...
Oh, that's a great twist.
The amount of accessories I put on my head and face are by design.
I would look fucking horrible.
I like that twist, Owen.
If you win the case race.
The winner is the loser, but if you're the winner.
If you're the winner, then the loser has to get it.
You're drinking for something.
That would be.
Case race would end in 20 minutes.
It would be intense.
It would be blood.
It would be very bad.
A lot of bleeding.
Oh, man.
Hmm.
Okay, so we got to
spin our parlay wheel.
Let's win some money.
Was this all the actual thing?
Was that the actual thing picked?
That's what he wants.
He said he wants it.
He hasn't decided yet.
Oh, God.
So we're doing four teams
or three?
Should we do three teams
to have a chance?
What do you think is best?
I mean, three, we have like a legit chance.
Four is very hard to hit.
Okay.
I don't know.
What do you think, Steven?
I like three.
Three is fine.
Three.
Here.
All right.
Let me just see what the odds would be.
Like 550 maybe.
IP.
We could even like juice it.
So depending on the matchup
we can pick
spread or money line
I just did the first
three games all overs
it's plus 590
plus 590
I mean that's
a thousand bucks
to win
yeah
yeah
I think with three
we would hit it
I think we'd hit it
a few times this year
yeah let's do three
alright
let's do three. All right. Let's do three.
All right.
Chiefs Cardinals.
Imagine if this just becomes like the best bet in Parsley. Yeah.
You might be able to get it boosted.
Yeah.
Under.
I like that a lot.
Okay.
Under what?
You guys can do this too at home on this app.
Oh, yeah.
Play along with us.
I don't think I've ever seen the desktop version of it.
How about that?
How about that?
Neat.
Oh, this is going to be tough.
I understand. Oh, this is going to be tough. This is an over.
It's going to be tough if it is an over.
I don't think this game is going to go over.
But I'm also a terrible, terrible gambler.
It better go over. It better go over.
Got to fade your own brain sometime.
Yeah, no, I hate this parlay already, which means it should hit.
Love it.
I think also we should...
Well, here's just an idea.
I'll throw it out there just to make it maybe a little more fun.
The third game is always a Sunday night game.
Yeah.
Oh, cool.
Yeah.
What do you think, Steven?
They typically like to do it in the window.
Oh, same windows.
All right.
All right, let's just keep it random.
Let's keep it fully random.
Yeah, the wheel is just, we'll keep it fully random.
We won't fuck with it.
Giants-Titans That's going to be a fucking awful game
Geez
All right
All right. Hey.
All right, so will you text that to Jack McCarthy, TJ,
and see if they can call it the Wheel is Just Parlay?
Yeah.
We just do it every Sunday.
People can follow along.
If we can maybe get it boosted, people follow along.
Yeah.
I love it.
What if the wheel is just awesome to us?
Yeah, that would be awesome.
A thousand bucks brings back seven.
All right, we'll get it back.
Yeah.
We just keep rolling, and then we'll just keep it updated throughout,
and then if we're up at the end of the year, like I said,
that will be slush fund, and if we're down, we're down.
Who cares?
I can't wait for like i i might i have not bald yeah i'm thinking i'm literally i'm just sitting here in my mind i'm going over the scenarios what i might even rome might make it even worse than
that could make it knows what he's i think i would rather Roan give me a full back piece tattoo than do the hairless. Jesus.
That would be tough.
I had like a little daydream
where I got genuinely depressed
with my bald head
and then struggled for a while
but I would still do it.
I would still do it.
What do you have to do?
Yeah.
The thing that's bothering me
is I know it's temporary
but people knowing
that's what lies beneath forever.
What if there's something weird under my hair?
Yeah.
Right?
Right.
There's no way I have a normal shape.
I have a mole right here.
Barbers nick it up all the time.
It's going to be scarred.
Owen, what does your hair look like?
I feel like you're always in a hat.
I wear a hat like every day.
Yeah.
I don't know what it looks like right now.
You have thick hair.
You'd look fine.
Super thick.
Yeah, your hair would grow back in like two seconds.
The eyebrows are the worst part.
Eyebrows is the part that's the brutal.
For me.
Yeah.
Because I could wear a hat.
The eyebrows would look terrifying.
That would be extremely rough.
Whole thing is terrifying.
But I'm excited.
God damn, I am too.
This is a problem with the show.
I'm just, my gambling brain might almost be sober.
Well, none of us have addictive personalities.
Yeah, right, we're good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't want to do it right now.
No, I'm like...
Let's just do a mock one. Let's do a mock one.
Let's just see what it would be.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no. I don't like this.
Racing stripes. I don't like this.
Just to see how it feels.
Now it's like dangling over our heads for the weekend.
I'm going to be thinking about this.
I don't want to see this.
Let's just remember the acrylic nails.
You know, the acrylic nails are
incredible. Roan's going to look so
stupid. Let's look forward to that. Roan will probably
look fucking steezy. Probably.
I feel like if anyone could pull it off
here, and in Brooklyn, well-dressed
guys' nails are not that crazy of a thing.
What if Drake wears them the next week? Probably
will. After Roan.
Oh, man.
He could get Philadelphia Eagles nails. Yes, everyone's so nervous. I love it. This is where Roan. Oh, man. He could get Philadelphia Eagles nails.
Yes, everyone's so nervous.
I love it.
This is where Roan thrives.
I know.
What was his reaction about, is he okay?
He wasn't happy?
No, I texted him and I said,
Are you okay?
They might be sweet to have, talking about the acrylic nails,
and he just texted back,
I think I'm going to make someone go shiny bald.
So he didn't even address the acrylic nails.
His brain is already working on
maximum punishment.
I love that about him.
I do too. Like I said
it's the worst person to
have the punishment in their hands
but it's also the best because it's just exciting.
Hell yeah. These dudes with acrylic
nails. Oh my God.
Not big enough.
I just followed this guy who lives in New York City who has like the five inch long
nails.
And I just followed him on TikTok.
He gave this great tutorial on how he wipes.
And his nails are so long he literally wraps the toilet paper around his nails a bunch
and then just wipes his butt that way.
That's not that bad.
Yeah.
I just fast the whole week so I don't shit.
Just like avoid that altogether.
Che, you're smiling like you literally wipe wrong.
Don't you?
He does.
Well, Che wants to nail up his butt.
No.
One way street, buddy.
But wait, on top of this, acrylic nails is still on there.
So imagine being bald with like the bald with those
yeah yes yeah you could
i mean i live in brooklyn so i'd be fine i live in five it would just be like whatever
it's just gonna keep getting worse because if I get bald, I'm going to make the next person.
Yeah.
No, we're no.
This is this is a point of no return that we've hit with the way the wheel is.
Yeah.
If I'm bald, if I if I will make it way worse.
This show might get me disowned by my family.
It's like the villain origin story.
Like, when did things turn for that show?
Well, it was just one
Let me just show you
Oh my god
Yeah you rap
Yeah Roan easy breezy
He's gonna get poop in his nails
There you go And there it is Yeah, Roan, easy breezy. He's going to get poop in his nails.
Yep, there it is.
That might even be better.
I love the clicking.
I would become obsessed with clicking. Yeah, the clicking is kind of cool.
Yes.
It's got to be such a light wipe, though, to not press the nails back.
Should have been me.
Should have been you, Nick.
Now we are, yeah, we are literally in the point of no return.
That is a stand-up wiper too.
It wasn't pointed out.
Yeah, you and that guy.
Great company.
And Will.
He has to stand up because his
dick's so small.
He's got to remind himself that it's there.
Oh, shit.
I thought I lost you, shit. Ah! My dick.
Whoa.
I thought I lost you, buddy.
All right.
And one more.
Have we done the bird dogs ad?
We did.
Bird dogs.
I'm wearing them right now.
Best.
Best joggers in the world.
They just launched sweatpants. Promo code yak.
Promo code yak. They just launched sweatpants.
Promo code yak.
Boom.
Free sweatpants.
Perfect fall golf pants.
Yeah, everybody looks good.
Row Pat.
Free Row Pat.
What's your order?
Birddogs.com.
Promo code yak.
Built-in liners in those sweatpants.
So you won't have an issue like Nick seeing KB's penis.
I did see the head of your cock.
Nice.
Was it good?
Purple or pink?
Purple.
I knew you were a purple guy.
No.
It's not.
We'll find out
if the curtain
matches the drapes
if he gets
the shave hat.
His scalp is purple.
His scalp is purple.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Okay.
And...
Have a good weekend, everyone.
Yeah, I'm tired. Let's go. See you Monday. We'll see you next time. It's the act