The Yak - Big Cat: BLOCKED, Chickenfry: IN | The Yak 10-13-21
Episode Date: October 14, 2021Bozocat lolYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
It's the Yak. It's the act. It's the act.
It's the act.
We have a musical chairs type of situation that's about to descend on our program.
We're kind of at an impasse.
Like when too many ships are trying to go through a dam at the same time right now.
We got seven seats.
Yeah.
And we're about to have eight dudes in here.
So. Oh, man.
Now Steve Che is here, too.
Now Steve Che is going to want a seat.
He's going to want a squid game in.
Yeah.
TJ, can we do a quick pan around the room?
I don't know what to do, man.
Let's just take it all in.
This is what fucking Barstow is, man.
Diversity on the panel.
We got blondes.
We got brunettes.
This is like an Alabama
Longhair.
Look at us.
I dress like a pledge.
This is it.
You are dressed like a pledge.
You are.
Nice shot of sass.
Very nice.
We got blue eyes.
We got brown eyes.
And that's it.
Yeah.
No green eyes in here.
No, no. I'm afraid of them. Go back to where you came from. Green eyes. We got brown eyes. And that's it. Yeah. No green eyes in here. No.
No.
I'm afraid of them.
Go back to where you came from.
Green eyes.
Green eyes are for ginger folk.
Yeah.
As Cusack would call them.
We got our spreadsheets.
Has anyone else been feeling like their head is like they want to screw it off like a shampoo bottle cap and just flick it away.
You know what I mean?
Sounds like you have that Havana syndrome.
Yeah, dude.
I might have Havana syndrome.
You might.
I might have some kind of psy-op going on on me.
Yeah, maybe.
Or is Havana a psy-op or is it just an op?
It's not even psychological.
No, I think it's just a real thing.
You want to describe what Havana syndrome is to these fucking uneducated bastards?
I don't know much about it.
I know that it's like apparently it feels like the way I've heard it described is that it feels like your head feels like when you are on a highway and someone has one window down.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
And it's like the CIA.
It's like Russian military or something.
It's like planting it in people's hotel rooms and stuff.
Planting what?
It.
I don't know how it works.
It's some radioactive-
But not necessarily radioactive,
but it moves the same way like a radio
in that you can't see it or smell it.
And it basically just scrambles your mind.
But how do you plant that?
Is this a conspiracy or is it- No, it's a real thing your mind. But how do you plant that? Is this a conspiracy?
No, it's a real thing. It's a bunch of people.
It's a real thing.
Yeah?
Should we pull up Havana Syndrome?
It happened to your boy, didn't it?
Yeah.
One of your homies?
Yeah, big time.
He's in the CIA?
He killed himself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
Havana Syndrome, what we know.
And this is the WSJ.
Different than a SJW.
It's a set of unexplained medical symptoms.
Subscribe to this.
Use Jerry's number.
Get Jersey Jerry in here.
Maybe we can put his card on file and subscribe to this.
Caleb, you haven't heard anything about Havana syndrome?
Actually, yeah.
I think I heard somebody say it in passing.
So what happens?
You just end up dead?
No.
You get sick to your stomach?
No, I think you do.
You just go crazy.
You might get dead.
You might wind up dead.
Really? I'm not positive, but I think that it's like... I think it just really fucks with your stomach. Yeah, I think you just like go crazy. You might get dead. You might wind up dead. Really?
I'm not positive,
but I think that it's like...
I think it just like
really fucks with your head.
And they only do it
to people like,
we're not important enough
to do it to us.
No, I don't think so.
Thank God.
Spies and shit though.
Did it originate in Cuba
or what?
At the Hotel Nacional
in Cuba.
It did, yes.
Yes.
Your city ain't shit
unless it has a syndrome.
Havana, Stockholm.
Wuhan.
Down. Down. Down. Yeah, it's fucking... Your city ain't shit unless it has a syndrome. Havana, Stockholm, down.
I used to go on vacation to Asperger's.
Down is real.
Damn.
Caleb, what are you doing in town, my brother?
Well, you know, because you just did it with me,
but I appreciate you bringing it up.
Kind of a setup.
Yeah, I know.
I said I'm going to knock him down.
It's like with an alley-oop. I know I want to put it in the basket, but I could do it myself.
I blew it. I know.
Labatt Blue, light. Our favorite beer is good
games. Yeah.
Series finale. How did people perform
yesterday? Good.
Nick was good. I have a cannon for an arm.
You played? I thought you got cut.
He played us. He left 15 minutes in.
Yeah, he did.
I got there early.
You actually went?
Yeah.
Yeah, Nick went.
And it's crazy because I think Nick and Sass could have been quarterbacks
if they had gone down different career paths at 14.
At 14 is kind of like the two roads diverge.
I'm also ambidextrous when it comes to throwing a football.
Are you good at both or are you bad at both?
I don't believe that either.
You're bad at throwing.
I'm good at throwing on both arms.
Spiral.
You throw spiral lefty.
Well, I am a lefty.
If you can throw it 40 yards with your right arm, how far can you throw it with your left arm?
We can't throw it 40 yards.
Wait, what was the question?
You can throw it 40 yards with your right arm.
Can you do 40-40?
Well, I can throw it 40 yards with my left arm because I'm a lefty.
And then what with your right?
Probably 25.
Probably 60.
This guy.
Confidence.
You bet.
But not as accurate as the left.
No.
But it's for power.
I'm working on it, though.
This guy doesn't know shit about weird haircut Seth.
You can not throw it 60 yards with your off arm.
I can.
No, you can't.
He can.
And I can throw it and then I can catch it.
He can, Dude Brandon.
From his knees.
Why would you be so passionate about something you know nothing of?
I know how far 60 yards is to throw a football.
He can do it.
If he says he can do it, you ever never lied to us?
We're automatically believing in people now?
Is that what we're doing here?
Sass never lied, to my knowledge.
I've never lied.
Brandon's whole idea of covering football is saying X team is good or X player is good.
Yeah.
Am I lying?
Brandon loves saying teams are on the come up.
They're a few years away.
You get off on teams being a few years away.
You get off on them get on with calm. That is like a category of sports tweeters who are just like, this player is good.
Or this team is good.
And that's all that they say in tweet.
Yeah.
Actually, Stephen Che might have rifled one of those off yesterday.
Probably did.
Everyone in the NFL is good.
It's so crazy how these players are good.
Just an observation I had to make.
A little empty of an observation.
But Stephen Che, to his credit, also has – he's put – it's like –
how did the Wally Pipp situation come about?
It's not like a Wally Pipp.
It's like if Wally Pipp told Lou Gehrig that he wanted him to play first base
because he saw –
Wally made the decision.
Yeah, if Wally was the manager in that situation
because Stephen Che has ceded uh tricaster board position how
would you call it he's still working that makes sense tj could have easily made that yeah no we're
shuffling up back i mean it was different because uh you know whenever i've been out uh tj's been
great and only covered and avery was doing that before and you and I went to Avery and asked one day when I had to
be home for something. He was like, oh TJ should do it
he wants to do it and TJ had said he wants to do it
whenever it's available. So TJ's
always been the fill in if I'm out for whatever reason.
TJ's nice on the sticks.
TJ's awesome at this.
So when
Friday for Tommy Walker
day, the control room we had a big
show. It was a two hour show and we wanted to get a lot out on social
in real time.
Last week, my responsibilities were
the cameras and doing all that, and then
also cutting stuff up for social, but it's very
hard to do in real time to listen,
get everyone on camera, and then also cut
stuff up. I focused only on
social for Friday, and I sat behind
TJ and watched him do it live,
and he's a million times better
than I would be ever with him.
Why? Is that true?
Is that true? Are you a million times better?
It's what my background's in.
It's not like Steven Saldana or anything.
It's just what I've been doing for years.
Humble.
It was just an informed decision for the show.
I like to get more stuff out for social
during the show so I can focus on that in real time tj can get much better camera angles and and zooming
in you know different directorial stuff um and then it looks good like i still want to on here
too and you know all of us we're all in here already so i'm just the deeper i can be the way
you can do and it's best for the show so cj for the first time, a full-time member of the Yak?
In my mind, TJ is always, but yeah, I mean, I guess so.
Fire up the TJ Rutgers gif.
Yeah, TJ Rutgers gif.
Is he in the Yak Twitter bio?
I just added him.
Okay, good, good, good.
I don't think he's in the group chat either.
Is he in the group chat? He needs to get in the group chat.
Yo, TJ will be a such a value add.
TJ is one of those guys where as soon as I saw the Rutgers gif a couple years ago,
I was like, oh, I already know.
I'm all the way in on TJ.
I'm super in on TJ.
You could just see sometimes with a distilled moment in time.
Other people are a slow burn.
TJ picked it up right away.
TJ was instant for me.
It was him streaming video games in the pit vipers in his checkered room.
Really, it was awesome.
He's chugging beers.
He's chugging beers, I think, too.
There he... He doesn't know anyone's filming him.
He's locked in.
And here we are
at the impasse.
And here lies the impasse. No, no's in hurt. You're in pain. And here we are at the impasse. Okay, here we go.
And here lies the impasse.
No, no, no, no.
Let's figure this out.
We are in a musical chair situation.
Big Cat is here.
And should we just actually play musical chairs?
Yeah, let's do it. I haven't played in a while.
Yeah.
Kind of.
It looks like Brandon just opted out.
Brandon, we're going to play musical chairs.
Brandon, you want to play musical chairs?
Yes.
Oh, no, it's too late now. Brandon's already. We can play, but you have to lose. I'm not going to play next. I're going to play musical chairs. You want to play musical chairs? Yes. Oh, no. It's too late now.
Brandon's already.
We can play, but you have to lose.
I'm back in 20 minutes.
I gotta leave.
Tag in.
So this is a tag team show.
It's a tag team match right now.
Big Cat, he's got his, what is it, Talersios?
Salibrias?
It always sounds like an antidepressant, all these Italian food messes.
No.
Oh, my goodness.
What did you ask?
We made Kale play Family Feud yet?
We have a nat 8.
Yeah, I have played.
Yeah, yeah.
Last time I was here, you guys made me play.
We've been stuck on that for a while.
Let's fire it up again.
Let's do it again.
Let's do it again.
I remember I got, yeah, I did good.
I think I said it all the time.
Wait.
Someone else needs to play.
TJ.
Oh.
Hitchings?
I've only played once.
Jersey Jerry felt Tico Texas' feet yesterday.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
How was that?
Jersey Jerry came up to me after the act as I was getting up to go to the bathroom,
and he pulls me aside, and he shows me his phone,
and there's just a video of a girl's feet.
And he's like, these just don't stop coming in.
And I was like ah
yeah
ah
it was a really uncomfortable episode
that brief 10 second period
can you give me a synopsis there is just moments
where it was toe in the line
toe in the line
I thought he was about to start sucking toes on the act
but you're just playing the heel right now
god damn it Ron I was trying to fuck you toes on the act. But you're just playing the heel right now. God damn it, Rona.
I was trying to fuck you.
He noticed Tico had white nail polish.
Walking on eggshells.
Which is supposedly a sign for good pussy.
She had what?
White nail polish.
Yes, women with good pussy tend to have white nail polish.
Is that true?
Yes.
Caleb, don't you have a cousin who's in defeat?
Don't you have a cousin who's in defeat?
Probably.
For sure.
Women's with bad pussy.
No nail polish.
Or a clear coat.
A clear coat?
Mm-hmm.
But he could tell when he sees a clear coat?
Yeah.
Caleb, how's the golf game going?
Good.
Good.
You check up.
You know me.
You check up on me all the time.
That's my manager.
You know that.
We've talked about it since the last six months.
I just wanted to see.
It was just an on-camera ask.
Yeah.
It was just a formality type of situation.
No one can accuse me of not asking.
Yeah.
Big Hat, you look slim today.
I'm wearing a black shirt.
Slim.
That's what it is.
Black shirt.
It's got to be what it is.
Black shirt big time.
You got a long ass Wednesday today.
You normally have a long Wednesday
But now we have something at
Are you going?
I think so
You mean coming or going?
Should I come?
Yeah
Do you want me to come?
Yes
I would like to come
But I don't want to come
If you guys don't want me to come
No you will be a
Very valuable ad
Okay I'm in
Because I think
I just didn't know
If you were going to come
No I've already
I've made arrangements to come
Because some of us
Are nervous about it
I'm always nervous
About everything
Kyle
What's the worst
Something that happens
I'm really excited
We say something
Really fucked up
And someone videotapes it
And then we all
Lose our jobs for life
What is there
Three girls that bought tickets
Is that the worst
Yeah, it was
What is that What are you saying Wait,? Is that the worst? Yeah, it was 46 girls.
Wait, you think dudes
don't cancel?
46 guys?
Oh, shit.
What's the worst
that could happen?
Told out.
Told out, that's clever.
Owen, is that you?
It's forgettable.
How many people sit
in this venue?
It's going to be like 80.
Oh, okay, that's beautiful.
A nice intimate evening.
Three girls,
and they're all hitched up. How do you know? Oh, okay. That's beautiful. A nice intimate evening. Three girls. And they're all hitched up.
How do you know?
You've done the research.
Yeah.
No single girls allowed.
KB's got a file on each one of them.
It's too much of an abstraction.
Yes, we have the ticket.
I looked up it.
KB will look at his following tab on Instagram.
It will go up by three after tonight.
Because there's still perspectives.
Just by the fact of them being there,
they're perspectives.
They've shown interest.
Yes.
They opened the DM.
That's all I need.
I'm pumped.
I'm excited as well.
Yeah.
My only thing is like
if we knew Big Cat was going to go,
we should have just done like Caroline's.
Well, we can do that next.
Yeah.
This is a warm up.
It's actually good that we're,
we started with a ski ball event
that was 15 people.
Yeah, maybe 15.
That was our crew.
15 people of us.
Yeah, we were the majority.
If we had gotten into a fight with everyone who came, we would have kicked their ass.
Yes.
We would have jumped one man.
Except for that one dude.
Yeah.
That one dude that was staring at all of us.
Well, that one dude had a weapon.
He was staring at me the whole time.
I don't think he even had a weapon.
I think he had a whole...
Was that hot wife guy?
Hot wife guy?
His wife was very hot.
I thought his wife was dead.
Nope.
His wife was there.
She was the only attractive woman there.
No, all the women were attractive, but there was a hot wife.
She was the hottest there, and she happened to have a husband in tow
which was a total cock
block of all of us. Yeah.
Like, hey, if you're a hot wife, don't
bring your husband. Caleb, we
have a live show tonight.
You want to come? Dude, Mikey just...
Me and Frankie are schmoozing.
With whom?
Axelrod? Yep.
That's an Axelrod joint. Snip that out. Dude. Caleb's in town. Him and Axelrod? Yep, yep, yep. Oh, that's an Axelrod joint.
Snip that up.
Dude.
Caleb's in town.
Him and Axelrod are going to be linking up.
Snooze Fest with Frankie Borelli.
But I didn't know you guys had a show.
You didn't tell me.
How's Axelrod's ticker?
I think it's working as far as I know.
Yeah?
He had a ticker problem?
Well, yeah.
He did.
Fuck.
And it's better, I think.'s still he's still here i'm always
checking out on the homies tickers kb how's your ticker what does that mean your heart bro you know
what that means you are nervous for tonight yeah you're a little ornery oh no you're ornery are
you uh are you not gonna relapse oh no i'm to have three beers before the show.
I'm going to be the funniest I've ever been.
You guys ever see Three Beard Nick?
He's quick as a whip.
I think I have seen Three Beard Nick.
I thought Three Beard Nick leaves.
No, that's Four Beard Nick.
Or Three Beard Nick at 10.30 p.m.
I'm going ten beers before we even get on stage.
Are you doing a set?
no I don't think so
why?
that's the whole reason
I wanted to come
I don't know
I just don't know
if it'll work
yeah I wanted to see
Sass do a yak set
we could probably
get his notebook
and just kind of
read off his jokes
I will do that
let's just get his shit
he writes fast
he was saying
he was like
I'm a quick writer
I can write like a whole set
in like 15 minutes
it takes longer to do the set than write it, you said.
Not at all.
I said that writing jokes for stand-up was significantly easier than writing sketches.
Got it.
And I still think that's true.
So how long is the show?
An hour, I think.
We're going to do an hour 20, though.
Hour 20?
Yeah.
Are we going to be able to play Family Feud?
Yeah.
I was going to say, I don't know if we have an hour 20 without hour 20 yeah are we gonna be able to play Family Feud yeah I was gonna say I don't know if we have
an hour 20 without Feud
maybe we
oh we should do that actually
we should
pass something out
and have them answer
and they could give us
the top answers
it's real life Family Feud
oh that's great
nah
because they're gonna
try to be jesters
no gestures
we should just let people
know up front
I think it's gonna be really I think we're gonna do an hour easily yeah but we should do let people know up front I think it's going to be really
I think we're going to do an hour easily
yeah but we should do
we can't do an hour without
when was the last time we did an hour of this show without feud
I don't know
it's been a while
fire it up TJ
get on the sticks TJ
we can't
why don't we have a yak shirt that says yak
and the family feud logo and it's like the names of the people on the show by the way Like, we can't just quit cold turkey. Why don't we have a yak shirt that says yak in the Family Feud logo?
And it's like the names of the people on the show?
By the way, by the way, we got to book a guest.
We got to book this dude.
Did you see this dude flipping out about Family Feud?
He gave the worst answer ever on Family Feud the other night.
The actual show.
Is this the guy that got like eight points total on Fast Money?
Yes.
Was this recently? Yes. He sucks.
Was this recently?
Yes.
Can we find the clip?
We have to find the clip.
We also have to find the guy because then he spent the entire night just responding to everyone who said he sucks.
Oh, he has a Twitter.
Yeah.
He was very upset.
We found him.
He was very upset.
I'll DM him now.
One of the questions was, name a sport you can play indoors and outdoors
he said lacrosse that's true which is that's not an answer you know you do not go lacrosse basketball
yeah probably is the answer well because it's not based off of like factual answers
basketball's got to be? Yeah. Lacrosse. Billiards? Can we watch?
I got to find him.
Hold on.
Shit, I would suck if that was on a live show.
Steve Harvey would crack some horn.
Oh, here it is.
That's tonight.
Nicky underscore bunny bus.
Yeah.
Nicky bunny bus?
Yeah.
What were his...
Okay, so he was getting roasted.
I can't even figure out what the other questions were.
He got a total of 14 points.
And it's a shame that your teammates are your family,
so you just got to drive home with them.
Yes, yes.
Yeah, that's terrible.
And Steve Harvey just made you say something real fucking provocative
in front of your wife and daughters.
Oh, is he like a hot guy?
Well, he claims he's hot.
Oh, he does?
He's a self-professed hot guy?
Self-claimed.
You can just do that?
And it takes?
The hotness took.
That's fucking wild.
Just claim hot?
Isn't a big part of hotness
confidence?
Oh my God. Where's the clip? Until a real ugly person gets confident as fuck. It's like wild. Just claim hot. Isn't a big part of hotness no confidence? Oh my God.
Where's the clip?
You think that
until a real ugly person
gets confident as fuck.
It's like, why is he?
No, but ugly people
that get confident
get put in their place
very quickly.
Yeah, they'll fucking go viral.
Unless they're tattooed
or dressed funny.
Oh, he is a self-proclaimed
hot guy.
He is.
He's like,
I'm clearly good looking enough
to make myself
my own Twitter avatar.
You must be too ugly
to put yourself.
Damn, he loves himself.
His self-love is off the charts.
I think he might be,
but he also got into it with Katie Nolan, so then
he started retweeting Dave bashing
Katie Nolan. Does he follow you?
He does not. Then he's not a real
stoolie. He's not a real stoolie. Does he follow any of you
guys? What's his name?
Following. Nick Bunnybuss. Nick underscore Bunnybuss. I'm trying to find real stool he's not real stool he's not real stool he's not real stool he's not real stool does he follow any of you guys what's his name following uh nick bunny bus nick underscore
bunny bus i'm trying to find the clip what corner of twitter is he in what's nicky underscore bunny
bus nicky what type of shit is he on what type of shit is he uh he looks like he's a little bit of
extreme politically his last oh you know what i think this guy hates me. Shut up. Well, he follows Graham Mertz.
He follows Dave.
He follows the Water Dogs, my lacrosse team.
He follows Tim Dillon.
He's a lax boy.
But I think he doesn't like Libcat.
Reading through his tweets.
Say something libertarian.
I don't think he likes Libcat.
Say something that endorses people's personal freedoms.
I think if I had to guess, he was a former fan of mine.
He had the unfollow?
He smashed the unfollow?
I'm just pontificating here.
He follows Big Man on campus.
Yeah, right.
He follows Chili's, my favorite restaurant.
Anyway, we got to get him on.
Yeah, that would be good. on. That would be good.
Yes, that would be fantastic.
How'd you fuck this up so bad?
We got to find the...
You guys have an encore for tonight?
Maybe you do Family Feud for the encore.
Ooh.
If it's requested, you can't just come back out and assume.
I think we should do like an intense walk-in.
I said to Kyle, I want you guys to pick walk-up songs.
Yeah, I think it'd be funny.
I'll just be sitting at the table while you three walk in then.
Why?
I'll greet you.
I'll be an usher.
So I'm not coming?
Yeah, you're coming.
You have to.
It'll be like when LeBron goes to his son's AAU game.
And he just Snapchats you dunking on the warm-ups and they leave.
But Nick just said,
Nick said,
I'll just be sitting there
when the three of you walk in.
Yeah, yeah.
KB's not going to show up.
There's a zero percent chance.
I'm going to run that one back
during the live show,
the AAU.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's good.
There's certainly no carryover
from this show
to the one tonight.
Nah, they're real ones.
But there's a chance
we just don't put out tonight, too.
Tonight could be just a very intimate experience for 80 people.
We could just put the pin in it.
I'm also just telling that to me and us all psychologically
so we take a little bit of pressure off the situation.
How much were tickets?
Like $10.
Like $45.
No, seriously, how much were they?
$25.
So we don't have to put on that good of a show.
We don't.
How much is a movie ticket?
We talk for an hour every single day.
People put different pressure on themselves.
We got some anxiety boys.
I think it's going to be easy.
Oh, I do too.
I think we're going to crush it.
Do this for a living.
Yeah.
You know what else we should crush?
Some Xanax beforehand and put it in our noses.
KB, what do you think?
I'll probably do like just five milligrams of oxycodone and then like three drinks.
Sweet spot.
Kyle had a relapse yesterday.
He had a sweat attack while we were recording the podcast.
We had to stop the podcast.
It was immediate soaking wet.
Immediate.
I did.
Unlike anything I've ever seen.
Do we count it on video? It's shocking. wet. Immediate. I did. Unlike anything I've ever seen. Do we capture it on video?
It's shocking.
I don't know.
I get nervous to podcast.
You said you were nervous.
I do, yeah.
How often are you going through shit and you just put on a good face and you kind of just muscle through it?
Yeah, pretty often.
Yeah?
Just like all the time?
You got to do it sometimes.
You got to just muscle through shit out here in these fucking streets.
You do that a lot, big cat?
What?
You ever just muscle through some shit?
Yeah, you got to muscle through it.
Yeah.
Suck it up.
Yeah.
I'm awful at muscling through things.
Yeah?
I compartmentalize in my brain.
My brain looks like a bento box.
I'm ignoring that kimchi in the corner because it's fucking rancid.
It's been rotting. Dealing with it might get your gut right though it truly might wow i've i read a
blog post about it whenever i'm going through some mental shit yeah yeah jeff d lowes yeah
i i love jeff and i i i love that he wrote blog post, but I also really want to joke about it.
Oh, I've already joked.
Have you?
Yeah.
I mean, not to Jeff.
A real one.
Behind his back, yeah.
See, that's what I want to be doing, but I'm too much of a pussy.
It was also very interesting timing because he posts something on Instagram like a Kevin Love quote being like
you're not alone. But he did
it right after we had finished watching
the Browns-Chargers game and I was like, dude
it's fucking 3-2.
It's a pretty close game.
It was a shootout.
They scored 42 points.
Like if the Browns win that game on Sunday,
does he write that blog?
Just things to think about.
Definitely not.
Dude, definitely not.
How well your favorite sports team is doing is like a huge factor.
There is this Browns fan on this Vice heroin documentary who really needed treatment.
Yeah.
It was like a side plot.
And Baker Mayfield.
Also, Vice, if you've seen the heroin documentaries, you've seen them all.
You have.
But they work, and I still watch them all.
It's the same thing every time.
Did you watch the one where the people lived in the woods?
Vice?
Yeah.
They were just heroin addicts that live in the woods.
Damn, what is this?
The best was the one in Wales, because the accent just makes the addiction.
It's like Trainspotting.
The country Wales.
I thought it was like Pocahontas.
Swanson.
I thought it was pinocchio
addicted to heroin living in wales there's boys living inside of wales how do they um do you
think that they're giving the people money to i don't know how that works what's like how do you
approach them yeah like are there really talented producers who are just like hey like can we
exploit your pain like can we get some cameras exploit your pain? Do they pay them?
Do they give them heroin? That's what I mean.
If they pay them, you know where that money's going.
They're not buying new sweatshirts because those
have a bunch of holes in them.
I feel like if they were giving them heroin,
that would be something that came out a while ago.
Like Vice gives...
Vice is giving people heroin.
It's probably really good shit.
You know they're not going to be it's not going to be laced.
Williamsburg.
It's probably safe injection.
Yeah, billionaire.
They'll put it right in you, actually.
Who was I talking about yesterday about billionaire cocaine?
How fucking excellent billionaire cocaine must be.
We were talking about that yesterday, too.
Were we talking about it together?
No.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it's got to make your face melt.
Was it with Jersey?
Yeah. It's talking about melt. Was it with Jersey? Yeah.
It's talking about Columbia.
The billionaire's cocaine.
Like, do they have someone that tries their cocaine to make sure there's not fentanyl in it?
Is that their drug testing kit?
It's just a guy named Kit who just fucking...
Yeah, drug testing kit.
Drug testing kit.
He just has to fucking snort a bunch of himself and see if he dies.
Yeah.
Like an old emperor fucking eating food, trying food.
It's going to be a great night.
It's going to be a fantastic show tonight.
I'm very excited.
TJ, play some Family Feud, TJ.
You've earned it, brother.
Where are you guys doing it?
Lucky Jack's.
Lucky Jack's.
Chill-ass bar down in the Lower East Side.
It's a cool bar because instead of getting a bucket, you get a cooler.
They bring you out a big cooler of beer.
Is that true?
Yeah.
So can we get a cooler on stage tonight?
Are we going to be drunk tonight? Cooler of Modelo. Are we going to be beer. Is that true? Yeah. So can we get a cooler on stage tonight? Are we going to be drunk tonight?
Cooler of Modelo.
Are we going to be drunk tonight, Chaz?
Yeah.
We're going to be fist fighting on stage.
Honestly, one lucky audience member gets KB's two-month chip.
It will be a collector's item.
It is a one-of-one because he'll never get there again.
He'll never reach the three-month chip.
Are you really breaking it tonight?
I might.
B-swag.
B-no.
But we were looking at some old videos of Kyle, some old lowering the bars.
He, like around Christmas time, fat face.
I was fat.
Like Arnold Shortman.
I lost 22 pounds.
And you're losing more.
I don't want to lose any more.
Think of the torso reveal.
You said yesterday you wanted to see.
That was spontaneous.
What?
What did he say?
He wanted to see if he gets a 133.
What are you, a jockey?
Way too big.
Fat ass.
Arizona Miller, my rival in high school, was a jockey.
Nuh-uh.
You were rivaled up with a fucking horseback man?
He was the biggest jockey in, like, Ohio.
Nerds versus jockeys.
Damn.
The jocks in your school were jockeys.
Literal.
Yeah.
Damn.
What's he doing now?
I just wondered.
I mean, you can jockey Until you're old right
Yeah
Can you
You can jockey forever
Don't those
Don't jockeys have like
Wasn't that the true life
Of jockeys
They really had trouble
Putting on weight
Like the guy was trying
To muscle down
Like an egg McMuffin
In the morning
And he like couldn't
Finish one egg McMuffin
He was full after a
Half of an egg sandwich
In the morning
It would be funny
If they just did like
A fat jockey race
every day.
Yeah.
Like, why not?
Horses looking like hammocks.
I don't think...
I would love to jockey.
You can't.
It's not...
Oh, no, because...
You can't.
It's illegal.
Right.
Unless you wear
like a parachute.
Which would be cool.
But think about it.
Everyone always is like,
oh, Kyle,
we feel so bad for you because you're so short. I can't jockey. Everybody think about it. Everyone always is like, oh, Kyle, we feel so bad for you
because you're so short.
I can't jockey.
Everybody does all the time.
Guys, I'm sorry.
I got to go.
I got to go.
Balls never...
I'm probably taller than balls.
Ah, no.
He's wider, so he gets...
Where are you boys going?
Come in here real quick.
No, I don't think I am.
Hide off.
Hide off.
I'm nervous for this one.
Hide off.
Hide off.
Hide off.
Hide off with KB.
Hide off with KB. Hide off with KB. Hide off with KB. Hide off with KB.
Right in the middle here.
Right in the middle here.
Hide off with KB.
And then you're released
to do Sunday Conversation
with Caleb.
Admirable man
taking off his cap.
Hide off.
Hide off.
Back to back.
No, no, he has a backpack on.
Just go.
Put your front to his back.
Yeah, I think.
Oh, fuck.
Glennie wins.
How tall are you, boss?
5'8 and 3'4.
What?
5'8 and 3'4". What?
5'8 and 3'4", and KB's a haiku.
5'7 and a half.
5'7 and 5.
Damn, Caleb's got wigs.
Who do they got this week?
I think they're going to do Blake Griffin.
Damn.
No spoilers.
But shout out, Blake. Do you hook him up But, um, shout out Blake.
Do you hook him up
with that big cat?
I did.
That's fucking love.
Yes, I did.
Did we get that
Family Feud guy?
No, I can't find the clip.
That's what I was just doing.
I want to fucking find
his, uh,
the clip of his performance.
I would need to see it.
His Twitter,
he was really angry at people.
There doesn't appear
to be video of it.
I will reach out to him.
You want him on the show?
Harvey probably scrubbed it.
So this is the answers.
I don't know what the questions were.
But you can look at the ones on the left.
Let's guess.
10.
The age of consent.
Everyone guessed 8.
8 is on the left.
10.
Virginia shit.
Singing. Things that mimes do
Going to the movies
Oh my god
I don't even know what it could be
They are so
A steak and burgers
This person might have it
Name a number between one and ten
Name a high school sport I really wish we had this clip First date activity Singing Number between 1 and 10.
Name a high school sport.
I really wish we had this clip. First date activity.
Singing.
Oh, my God.
Singing.
Those can't actually be it.
Those aren't actually it.
It was indoor-outdoor.
I know that part.
Soccer was a decent answer.
Lacrosse was terrible.
I mean, like a fancy dinner.
Steak.
And then is that burgers?
Yeah.
We got to get this guy. Go to his
Twitter real quick. He's very angry at everyone.
Something that inspires people. Art.
I don't know if I've ever told you guys
this but I know personally two people that have
been on Family Feud. Do you think
this is something I should look into for us as a show?
Yes.
The problem
would be we'd have to cut down to five
well we'd play for it okay we'd play for it yeah it would be electric yes okay i mean if family
feud is smart it tapes in atlanta well wait why don't we just split up the entire yak yak versus
yak oh the yak versus yak would be awesome and have a Yak draft Because we do have enough people Yeah
We just
Yeah we draft
Yeah
That would be awesome
Oh like a draft
Okay
I'll get the contact
Yak vs. Yak
That would be the best day of my life
It would be the best day of mine as well
Yeah
It also would be
The best family feud of all time
So they're stupid to not do it
The only problem is
There's no
No ladies for Harvey to
Nah I'm gonna be able to show Harvey
My twisted fucking brain
when he asks, name something a girl gags on,
and then he's shocked.
What is this dude doing?
Maybe we bring Grandin instead of Brandon.
That's what we do.
Bring Grandin.
Is that Family Feud, the video where the guy growls at the girl?
Probably.
And then Steve Harvey pushes him away?
Have you seen that?
Did you see the guy in the 60s that answered turkey for every question?
And it worked.
It worked?
It was like, name a lunch meat, name a bird, name something you have on Thanksgiving.
This dude went triple turkey.
Turkey?
What about the woman that was synonyms for mom?
And she just kept saying like
The same thing
Yeah over and over
You guys want to just watch
Wait let's watch funny clips
Oh you just DM me
Get the mom clip
He DM'd you what he said
Yeah he said it's me
Nikki Bonabettis
Currently listening to you on the yak
I have it all filmed for you
Fuck yes
Can he send it to us
Oh yeah
Hell yes can you send it
Ask him if he's pissed off Wait can he call in Yeah Can you send it to us? Oh, yeah. Hell yes. Can you send it? Ask him if he's pissed off
that you're a limb.
Can he call in?
Can you send it?
Yeah.
Why don't you just call in?
Well, yeah.
He can call in,
but I want to...
Give him my email.
He's still not following me.
I think he...
I think you don't...
Ask him...
He might troll you.
Yeah, he might troll you.
Are you vaxxed?
Oh.
You have to be vaxxed
to call into the yak.
You probably have to be vaxxed
to go on Family Feud.
It's Big Cat's rule.
What's your email, TJ?
Don't say it out loud.
I'll text you.
Okay.
Oh, this could be awesome.
Have you guys seen the video I was talking about?
Where the girl's bouncing her tits because she's trying to distract the guy,
and then the guy's like...
Is that Family Feud?
Yeah.
TJ, can you find that?
Steve Harvey pushes it away.
He's like, what the fuck are you doing, man?
Vollmeyer.
All right, so he's in Twitter jail right now for talking shit to Katie.
So that's why he can't tweet right now.
Katie.
Nolan.
Katie no swag?
Is this the barking?
Oh, yeah.
I think, yeah. I think, yeah.
This guy growls.
Get him, Carly.
Get him.
Yeah.
Distract him.
Distract him.
Come on, Darian.
Oh, whoa, whoa.
The audio on this is awful
I wish we could hear it
We play it again
That smack is so good
She's attractive
That guy's wife is right behind him.
Harvey says that to him.
What are you doing?
What was the question, though?
I hope it backfired.
Name something that comes in pairs.
Name something a man might bark at.
Oh, yeah, titties.
Pair of titties. A pair of titties.
Do you think he was a crisis actor?
I don't know.
That shit cannot be real.
It can't be real.
It just can't be real.
It is.
It can't be.
There's a fake episode of Jerry Springer.
What the hell are you doing?
Rowan and I got barked at
When we were in Nashville
You did
By a whole pack of dudes
A car of dudes
They were just hanging
Out of their car going
And then there was
One dude in the back
Who was going
Who was pretending
To be a chihuahua
Was yipping at you
Yeah he's like
Did they know you
No
No just random dudes
They were doing it to
Everyone but Roan
Was talking to them
Yeah he was
As he would
As he would as he would
I was walking on the train
Rome's an absolute liability
he is too
a liability to walk
the streets with
that's why I love this guy
yeah
just make shit awkward
for everyone else
no these guys are just scared
to talk to anybody
that's why this live show
is crippling
yeah it's interaction
other people are gonna hear
our conversations
it's fucking terrifying
you boys just got dropped
from the show
we did yeah sorry just the anxiety boys yep it's gonna be a slip Conversations? It's fucking terrifying. You boys just got dropped from the show. We did?
Sorry.
Just the anxiety boys.
There's going to be a slip and slide up there tonight.
Fuck you.
We're going to have a Peace Home Ohio sign up there.
We should all do a set tonight.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm down.
We'll all do five minutes.
I got a great killer even bit about homeless people.
That's funny.
Fuck them. Am I right? No, you don't get to go. How are you about homeless people. That's funny. Fuck them.
Am I right?
Now you don't get to go.
How are you a homeless person?
You're fat.
This don't make sense.
Kill them all.
They're richer than me.
Oh, God.
That'll be funny.
Sash, why don't you just write us all a set?
Yeah.
I will do a set if you write it for me.
No matter what.
That would be funny.
No Ron Burgundy it.
I'm not going to be able to write that many jokes in that amount of time.
You could do it.
Come on, brother.
What about if two of us do a Louis C.K. set and two of us do a Sass set?
And they judge.
Sat roulette?
Yeah, whose was it?
Yo, that would be sick.
I'm going to write you a set, but you have to say anything that I write down.
Yeah.
Deal. Slurs included. It's a comedy show, bro would be sick. I'll write you a set, but you have to say anything that I write down. Yeah. Deal.
Slurs included.
It's a comedy show, bro.
Chris Rock.
If you don't like comedy, you can just not show up.
True.
That's true.
Fuck.
We need a Netflix special.
Sass's special is just called The N Word.
Looking N Word.
It's one second long.
93 million downloads?
There's a guy on twitter who's claiming
he's never been ratioed
so let's just get him
real quick
oh you found him
can you uh
can one of you go to
jose reformed
no underscore
jose underscore reformed
and then that top one
what does this
just reply what does this Just reply
What does this ratio shit mean
Block equals own
Yeah let's not do that
From pick central
Damn I know where
Where should we let him live
No
Yeah fuck him
Roast his ass
Block equals own Is like the worst bio I've ever heard We let him live. No. Yeah, fuck him. Roast his ass.
Block equals own is like the worst bio I've ever heard.
Yeah, that is bad.
Wait, is there a new remove follower button? It means like if you get blocked, that's an own for you.
How would you know?
How do you even know at the end of the day?
What does this flagship mean?
No, no, not the flagship, man.
No, no, not that.
Why that, Kyle?
I don't know.
It was just the top one.
Oh, yeah.
Wait, why don't we try and ratio the one where he talks about a ratio?
Or is that in his bio?
He just flaunted it in his bio.
Oh, yeah.
What does this ratio mean?
Yeah, so what does this ratio mean?
Okay, that's cool.
How did you find that?
Or no, or do you do...
What does the flagship mean?
Hold on.
It's a red flag.
That's it?
So people are pointing red flags out.
Yeah.
It's like a meme.
Should we put some flags after it? Yeah, no. So we shouldn't say, this isn't a are pointing red flags out. Yeah. It's like a meme. Should we put some flags after it?
Yeah, no.
Someone shouldn't say, this isn't a ratio of red flag.
I think we're just...
His bio says that he's never been ratioed.
I just want him to remove it.
I want him to remove it from the bio.
I think that's good.
How did you find this person?
Why don't you just say, rewrite your bio or something like that.
Edit your bio.
Oh, yeah.
You could do that.
Edit your bio. Yeah, just edit your bio. Oh, yeah, you could do that. Edit your bio?
Yeah, just edit your bio.
Yeah, yeah.
Ratio plus KYS.
That actually sounds nice.
Oh, yeah, no, just write L plus ratio plus edit your bio.
Edit your bio, douchebag.
L plus ratio plus equals edit your bio.
Ah, no, let's just say edit your bio. Ah, nah,
let's just say
edit your bio.
We're overthinking this.
Should we call him a name
like a douchebag?
Is it?
Yeah,
that's a big thing
in the ratio community.
Sas speaks internet.
Yeah,
he does.
So we're hitting him
with an equation.
Bozo,
yo,
let's go TJ.
And KB just got turned on.
Everything reminds me of her.
Fire away.
Yes.
Bye.
Bye, bitch.
Bye-bye.
And let's just keep refreshing his page.
Oh, no.
Six already?
Oh, no. Bye-bye Easy six. Oh, no.
Bye-bye.
Oh, people got to it
before us.
Oh, bye-bye.
Well, we workshopped
it for like five minutes.
Yeah, we did workshop it.
How did you find him, KB?
A good friend of the program
DM'd his account to me.
Was he the clown's ex?
Is he like a stoolie or no?
He's just a random person.
DM the act.
Everybody is.
True.
Viva.
Bye-bye, Jose.
Some just don't know it yet.
Yo, and he likes football.
Was he Colombian?
Oh, my God.
Those replies are rolling in.
Oh, jeez.
What flag is that going to be?
He's getting his ass lit up.
No likes. What a douchebag. He's going to be? He's getting his ass lit up. No likes.
What a douchebag.
This is going to be the greatest.
If somebody likes that, we block them from the yak.
Yeah.
Don't think about liking his tweet.
Holy shit.
This is awesome.
It's a bloodbath.
This is incredible.
Run it up.
Run it up.
Run it up.
Run it up.
Run it up.
Run that shit up.
Fuck this guy. Run it up. Run it up. Run that shit up. Run that shit up.
Fuck this guy.
I'm cold in here.
Oh, man.
We want the greatest ratio of all time.
Oh, my God.
I feel like I'm watching a stock price skyrocket or something.
I don't fucking know how a stock market works.
Oh, three likes.
Block them.
Sorry, John Hammett.
Sorry, Jordan. Block equals owned. Block them. Sorry, John Hammett.
Sorry, Jordan.
Block equals owned.
Own them.
Owned.
They can't do it.
Block them.
TJ, you dog.
Owned.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Thank you for coming.
Bozo.
Take this block Bozo Bye bye
Nutty
Sorry you lost that
Oh two more
Five likes
He has 23 likes
Oh no
Oh no
See the lines on us
They want to pop up
They want to pop up on the
On the Axe
No
Bozos
Take this L
Bye bye Oh no Bye bye Bozos, take this L. What?
Bye-bye. Oh, no.
Pay bye.
Damn it.
Drop the hammer, TJ.
Do it.
Block him.
Block him.
Can we edit our logo so it's the yak with redacted?
Got my ass blocked.
Sorry, son.
Damn.
Bye-bye. Red, son. Bye-bye.
Redact it.
Redact it.
Oh, no.
Shout out to Bozo Cat.
Oh, no.
Someone's going to be
on it right away.
Wait, the first person
that gets it
is on the show. Yeah. Make an account. You get to be on the right away. Two seconds. Wait, the first person that gets it is on the show.
Yeah.
Make an account.
You get to be on the show.
See how fast they work.
We'll paint your face.
Just DM us.
Follow it.
Oh, no.
It doesn't exist yet.
It will.
Keep refreshing.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Freaking bozo.
Bozo.
I hate these bozos.
They're not sturdy. They're not sturdy like the boys in here
Damn
That was exhilarating
That was intoxicating
Yeah it is
How many more of these can we find?
Yeah who else is
I think we should try and ratio someone really big
TJ did you just tweet that from the act?
If Barstool Big Cat replies this, we will give
each of our followers $50.
We can't.
Whoopsies.
Yeah, let's try and do it. Let's try and get
Anna Kendricks.
She might be gettable. But she probably doesn't
tweet enough for us to be able to do it.
It has to be a recent tweet. You think?
Yeah. But I feel like if we
draw attention to it, then we could kind of tip the scales ourselves
because no one else would be naturally liking her tweet.
Oh, do we have a Barstool Bozo cat?
TJ, block him.
Block his ass!
You fool!
Bye-bye!
Bye-bye!
You walked right into that one, bitch!
We should erase you at home first.
Oh, shit.
You walked right into that one, bitch.
No, no, no.
Bozo, fuck that.
Fucking Bozo.
Oh, sorry.
Hand jobs on bets.
Man, this shit is fucking...
I love the internet, man.
It's wild.
Did you see the
Yak prep sheet 2.0?
Made a Yak family feud with Yak listeners?
Oh.
Wow.
The community is strong.
The community is strong.
I love it.
Oh, this guy.
Hold on.
Here we go.
Can you pull up the answers that he had again?
He sent me the answers.
He's going to record it and send it to you, so we'll maybe have him on tomorrow.
But here are the questions.
If we can get Bunny Bus back up.
On a scale of 1 to 10, when you look in the mirror...
Oh, my God.
Oh, that was the question?
How hot are you?
On a scale of 1 to 10, when you look in the mirror, how much do you like what you see?
He said 10.
10.
He said 10.
Did you say 5 or 6? You say 6. And 8 was the top answer He said ten. He said ten. Did you say five or six?
You say six.
And eight was the top answer, they said.
Look at Jerry.
What's up, Jerry?
I like the low tops from Jerry.
Yeah, those shorts.
You want to sit down?
I see some ankle, brother.
He looks just like a wrestler.
Come on in.
Come on in.
Come on in.
Grab a seat, Jerry.
Come on in.
Calabria.
Yeah, it's your favorite show.
You keep saying that
I feel like you're joking with us
You gotta start stretching Jerry
You're looking a little tight
When you walk
Pull it back up
Yeah
Training
Pull it back up
Name
So it's on a scale
One to ten
When you look in the mirror
How much do you like
What you see
Ten
The other person said
Eight
And got fifteen
Name a sport you can play
Indoor and outdoor
Lacrosse
Name something you feel
Self conscious about doing alone.
Singing.
That's the only time you do.
Yeah.
What?
It's the only time you sing.
Going to the movies
is actually a good answer.
He only likes to sing
in front of other people.
He feels weird.
I've never practiced.
Name your dog's favorite food.
Burgers.
Burgers.
And then fill in the blank, follow your dream.
So he probably got a good score on that.
Yeah, that was, oh, okay.
I don't think he knows that Family Feud is generalizing to the public
and not just your individual answers.
Yeah.
So World of Isaac cut it off before he could get the last answer correct.
That's right.
World of Isaac was manipulative there.
I just like the fact that this guy sucked
and then just went on Twitter and just got angry at everyone.
That's something you should do.
It wasn't as embarrassing as I thought.
No.
I mean, those were all his...
Lacrosse and 10.
Those were all his personal number one answers.
Yes.
Yeah, lacrosse and 10 were the worst ones.
Oh, here comes Brandon.
A haircut shouldn't feel that relaxing,
but it does at Sport Clip Haircuts.
Change your bio, Jose.
Change your bio, bitch.
Reply.
Can you please unblock me so I can retweet that?
Yeah, yeah.
Do it now.
Yeah.
Bozo's so fucking good, TJ.
Bozo is good
Thank you
Unblock me so I can
Retreat that real quick
That's because stylists
Don't just wash your hair
They use a seven pressure point
Massaging shampoo technique
That is so relaxing
You melt in your seat
And the hot steam towel
Oh yeah
It's infused with tea tree oil
And perfectly steamed
Leaving you feeling like
You just left a Swedish sauna. And to top it off,
you get a pinpoint cut. Stop by
Sport Clips today and ask
for the MVP haircut experience. It's
ridiculously relaxing. Sport Clips,
the pros of men's hair.
I got an update on the girl
who jiggled her titties on the Family Feud
from Mike Wilholt. He DM'd
me. The Family Feud titty
bitch went to jail
for meth.
So she parties.
No way. Let's
watch that again.
Wow.
You're worried that they weren't big naturals?
You think they're unnatural?
How could a girl who does meth
have such a high
fat percentage on her body?
Facts.
Facts.
That's my question.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Some places.
Hey, Jer.
Look at his tits, Jer.
Oh, yeah.
This truck.
He was really trying to do it just to himself?
Yeah, I think so.
I love when guys in big dress shirts embarrass themselves.
Me too.
It's more funny.
Jerry Springer.
All Jerry Springer.
My boy Sneddy wears the biggest dress shirts.
Sneddy?
Big tuck day dress shirts.
Big dress shirts and also weird colored dress shirts.
Purple.
Like yellow.
Purple, yeah.
With armpits.
Lime green. My boy Sneddy wore this to a wedding. Oh my God. Big dress shirts. Purple. Like yellow. Purple, yeah. With armpits. Lime green.
My boyfriend wore this to a wedding.
Oh my God.
Big dress shirt.
I feel like Balenciaga just sells that though.
Oh yeah.
For like $1,200.
You could just get a big dress shirt.
I have a squeak in my shoe by the way.
Can we hear it?
Let's hear it.
Put it up to the mic.
We have hardwood.
Show Owen that clip again.
Thanks.
So you think that guy was just thinking onomatopoeias?
It's air.
Whoa.
I hear it.
You hear it?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
That's annoying.
Oh, there it is.
Yeah, you're deflated.
Brother. Okay, I'm hearing it now
There's a hole somewhere
What are we gonna do?
Find the hole
And patch it up
Good thing you only wear
Pairs of shoes once
Then throw them away
He's like Allen Iverson
Oh look
There's gas
You need to get that
Patched up like a bike tire
It's really annoying
Yeah it's very annoying
I can't hear you coming
Sounds like you were I don't know. I can hear you coming. Sounds like you were...
I don't know if anyone can hear you coming.
What?
Whoa.
Everyone, shh.
Close your eyes, Sass.
I know.
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
I can hear it.
Close your eyes.
Sass.
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
Are they closed?
All right. Die, bro! it closed? Alright.
Just like I fucking said.
Okay, but that's only in a scenario
when it's completely quiet.
I did hear you coming, and I actually
take back everything I said. I think I would be able to hear you
coming from outside, too.
Yeah, he comes like that.
Yeah, bro, you're always coming.
It's like the Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Whenever I lift, I'm coming.
Jose just tweeted,
I'm coming in the bedroom.
I've been ratioed.
Good man.
Admirable man.
All right, Jose.
You're in our show now.
Oh, wait, no.
He pinned, I've never been ratioed.
Wait, what?
I read it wrong.
Wait, what?
What the fuck? Yes, you have. We just ratioed your ass, you fuck. Never been ratioed. Wait, what? I read it wrong. Wait, what? What the fuck? Yes, you have.
We just ratioed your ass, you fuck.
Never been ratioed.
Change the bio.
What, did he block us? No, he can't have blocked this.
Zero jobs?
Zero jobs.
Random guy with verified account ratioing me.
We all have one job.
So we have, as a combined unit, seven jobs.
Seven jobs.
You got, yes.
Jerry, do you still have two jobs for a living?
I do, actually.
Oh, really?
So we have eight jobs for seven men.
We're flush with jobs.
Holy shit.
We give you a job.
You need a job, buddy?
I can take my old job.
We literally have extra jobs.
We're averaging 1.2 jobs per person.
Start digging some holes.
Start doing some math, Bozo.
Jerry, we can hear you coming, too, because you got that chain.
Oh, yeah.
This thing.
Love it.
Yeah.
What's the card?
What's the landing?
Yeah, just get in the building.
Oh, that's smart.
You should always have it.
VIP pass.
You don't want to carry a wallet around.
I don't even have a card.
They took one away.
Really?
Why?
I had three.
He's doing barstool gold tours under the table.
You do not want to come in here on a Saturday.
Sass is having happy hours.
A lot of different stoolies.
Charging people through the nose.
This is Big Cat's pile.
You promised us we'd meet Feidelberg.
Yeah, no, that's not happening.
Can we watch the Family Feud Mommy clip?
What's the Family Feud Mommy clip?
Unless you guys don't want to.
I don't think anything's going on.
Literally nothing.
What are you seeing?
This must be firing day.
Oh, fuck.
You're right, it is.
That would suck if one of us got fired today
Before the live show
Yeah what do you do
Live event Lisa just slides into the seat
Just can talk with us
Live event's gonna be there right
Uh 50-50
She doesn't have to come
What about her protege
Brandon
No that's um That's not live about her protege, Grandin? No, that's not live events protege.
That's Kelsey's.
Kelsey.
Kelsey's protege.
Kelsey's protege.
The girl's twerking.
What do you see out there?
Not just the receptionist.
She was twerking.
Her name's Ebony.
Ebony.
Have you seen her toes, though?
Have you seen her phalanges?
No.
Is that something you might be interested in?
She was supposed to show me them yesterday, actually.
Really?
Yeah.
She was going to, but then she's like, they're painted white.
Has she gotten submissions since yesterday?
Wait, does that mean she fucks?
That means she's a good pussy.
Who's had more submissions?
KB over his whole wrestling career or you yesterday?
I've had a lot.
All right, Jerry.
Did you really like a lot of girls sending the personal pictures?
Well, he runs a contest.
Jerry's not just some nobody.
Was there lotion play?
There wasn't lotion play on that one, right, Sass?
No.
None.
Would you ever show them a lotion play?
Those eyes.
Those eyes are just incredible.
Piercing.
They're like the fucking ocean.
Oh, my God.
What if that's what that Lana Del Rey song is about, the security guard's eyes?
You can just get lost in them.
He's got lotion eyes.
Do you think they like having the desk, or do you think they liked it more when they were just freely walking?
Oh, he's drinking a Gatorade?
Oh, look at those.
Look at those eyes.
Those eyes are piercing.
They're gorgeous.
They're gorgeous.
No, he just did content for the first time.
He did the Goobier games.
He played our guard.
We needed a football guard.
Oh, awesome.
He showed us how to—
I love these guys.
I think they're too about the shotgun.
They got like a— Just random guys? No, I think they're too about the shotgun. They got like a...
Just random guys?
No, they're...
I think they're all ex-cops.
Oh, okay.
From Staten Island.
Yeah.
Or no, Long Island.
From The Rock.
No, from The Rock.
Are they from The Rock?
Yeah.
The Rock?
They're great guys.
What time is the show tonight?
Whatever.
8 o'clock.
Yeah, whenever we feel like it.
We're going to have everyone show up at 8, but we probably won't get there.
We're going on at midnight.
What if we go on early?
What if we go on before everyone gets there and they're like,
oh, show's over. Then you can just play a replay.
Yeah, they could just run it back
or syndicate it or something like that.
We're going to rap battle tonight.
Sass has just been learning
the rock song so he can rap.
Give us a piece.
All right, I gotta run.
All right, take it easy.
Get Edwin in here.
Actually, get Chicken Fry in here.
Chicken Fry?
You want Chicken Fry?
Send in Chicken Fry.
Where's Chicken Fry?
He just walked out
the whole way.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Would you like Chicken Fry?
What do you want with her?
Why?
No, what do you want
out of her?
Why?
Why do you want to bring her
on the program?
Why?
She's not going to be happy.
So? She hates us.
She does hate us. Alright, we'll get to the bottom
of that.
Jesus Christ. We're not going to get
anywhere. You hate her.
Sounds like you hate her. I don't hate her.
She's always disgusted when she comes
in this room. Why? Do you think that she's too successful
to talk to you? I don't know.
Apparently she's making them talk talk to you no apparently she's
making them talk to her her rep edwin the tiktok uh the tiktok intermediary jerry are you on tiktok
yet what's up she gets a raise she makes on the yeah she does way down like 10 30 percent raise
jerry i saw the video that you put out with Marty yesterday where it talked about the stairway and where your mom found you and everything.
I thought that that was a very revelatory video.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
I thought it was really nice.
I thought that you kind of opened up a different side of yourself.
For sure.
And I thought that that was nice to see.
For sure.
Brianna, how are you?
How are you guys?
You're pumped.
I'm pumped? Yeah. Come on this guys? You're pumped. I'm pumped?
Yeah.
Come on this program.
Oh, yeah.
I'm super pumped.
This is the best day of my life.
KB thinks that, I don't know, you hate us.
I hate you guys?
Yeah.
I told him that it was ludicrous.
Why would you say that, KB?
I said you hate coming on the show.
Why?
I've only been on...
Well, I came on one time and you guys tried to ruin me.
True.
Yeah, and you hated that probably.
I hated that.
Yeah, what the fuck?
Why did you hate that?
I hated that so much.
Well, why don't we try and rectify that today and try and build you back up or something like that?
Yeah, build me up then.
Let's build you up.
You've got to play Feud.
You've got to play Feud?
Yeah, just one quick game.
One quick game of Feud.
Okay.
Is that fair?
That's fair.
What school won the contest?
I still have many schools left.
Who's in the lead?
Penn State.
It would be a shame if Yak listeners spammed UTEP.
Chicken Friday UTEP.
How do you...
We're sending you to El Paso.
I'll come with.
Okay.
Okay, KB.
What is the contest?
Where she'll go on the tour.
Are you mansplaining her contest?
Yeah.
Jeez. Yeah, he is. And you know a lot. No, we're just... We're picking schools go on the tour. Are you mansplaining her contest? Yeah. Jeez Louise.
You know a lot. We're just
picking schools for our next tour.
And the top comment gets one of the schools.
And the comment on what?
Doesn't matter.
I don't want you
to be poised.
We're the Jose
reformed you.
I see why you don't like
Coming on this show
Yeah
You and KB
I feel like you need
Some kind of reconciliation
No I just don't think
She's comfortable here
I'm not comfortable
Why don't you try to
Make her more comfortable
I don't know
She looks pretty relaxed
Yeah she is
I'm pretty relaxed
You make me uncomfortable
Sometimes KB
That's fair
That's honest
Can you put your hand out
Brianna
Can you put your hand out
Oh it's vibrating.
Oh, you do?
Yeah.
Oh, that's not bad.
I do, actually.
Early onset.
That's fire.
Yeah.
Wow, Nick.
It's not a joke.
Nick, you're a massive dickhead.
Feel good, Nick?
This is awkward.
This is fucked up.
It's not awkward at all.
I have shaky hands, too, but they say it's just like a tremor.
Yours are probably worse.
Mine's only my right hand shaking, not my left.
Doesn't it look shaky?
It's been like this my whole life.
You're making it shake. I swear to God
I'm not. You're holding it as still as you can?
No way.
I swear to God.
Cap detected.
It's been like this my entire life.
You look like you're playing air piano.
Yeah.
They say it's just like nerve damage or something.
I don't know.
Who's that?
Gone to the doctor's like 15 times.
About your shaky hands.
No, me too.
I had to keep going because I was so shaky.
Really?
My non-binary doctor.
Is there a remedy to it?
Is there anything that you could do to offset the early onset?
Nope.
They have like bracelets that like...
Jerry, what do you think of shaky feet?
Are they fly?
No, they're not fly.
I don't like that.
Look at me.
Nary a tremble.
That's cool.
Is Jerry on the show every day now?
No, just intermittently.
Have you met Jerry?
Whenever somebody's out, Brianna.
Oh, cool.
No, we've never really officially met.
I'm Jerry.
I'm very nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Any preconceived notions of each other?
What do you know about Brianna? I like your wristbands. You know about Jerry's. I'm Jerry. I'm very nice to meet you. Any preconceived notions of each other? What do you know about Rihanna?
I like your wristbands.
You know about Jerry.
Those are cool.
Yeah, I just, I see me on TikTok, and the videos are good videos.
Thank you.
Very nice.
And you had, like, a full spread in the post.
Is that where it was?
Yeah.
Congratulations, Rihanna.
Thanks, guys.
Thank you.
Great spread.
Good read.
Thank you.
Let's play Family Feud so you can get out of here.
We'll put you out of your misery.
Okay, thank you.
But the only person you don't hate, yeah, you hate, KB.
Yes.
Perfectly fine with me.
That's fair.
That's way better.
And Nick, when he makes insensitive comments about early onset Parkinson's.
I didn't know about your Parkinson's, but I'm not going to treat you any differently.
Thank you.
That makes me feel good.
That's very nice of you.
Name something that is carried in a tanker truck.
Oil.
Oil. Good answer.
Very good answer.
Name something that is carried in a tanker truck.
I have to go again?
Yeah, it's you.
50 seconds.
You can phone a friend.
Jerry, you want to hop in?
Jerry, you can't help.
Ammunition.
What?
That's a tank.
A tanker truck?
What about gas?
Gas.
Gas.
Gas.
Gas.
Gasoline.
Oh, I didn't know that's different from oil.
Me either.
Okay, what else?
What else?
Name something carried in a tanker truck.
25 seconds.
What's a tanker truck?
Like a military truck?
No, like one of the big metal trucks with the long silver tube on the back.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, water.
Water sounds good.
Water.
Water.
Okay, great answer.
One more.
What about a spare tire?
Yeah, we can try it.
Spare tire.
Single spare tire.
Spare air.
Spare tire.
Okay, okay.
That's on me.
Jerry, 0 for 2.
Four seconds.
Three seconds.
This is a good round, though.
Even without getting the last one.
You did good, Brian. Thank you. That's a very good round. Milk. Did KB say milk? That's crazy. I said. Three seconds. This is a good round, though. You did good, Brian.
That's a very good round. Milk.
Did KB say milk? That's crazy. I said milk.
You did say milk. That was a joke.
Tied up.
These holes are skewed.
Valerie's really good, too.
You have three rounds.
This is a double point round.
Double points.
Name something you'd hate to find out a co-worker has that's bigger than yours.
Penis.
Penis.
Penis.
Good answer.
Really?
Salary.
Salary.
Big wife.
Big wife.
Big wife.
House.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Good answer.
That was good.
Jerry, hop in.
Wait, bigger.
Come on.
Someone hop in.
Bigger.
Maybe a bigger car. Car. Big hop in. Maybe a bigger car.
Big car.
Everyone loves a big car.
Really?
What?
Big house in the suburbs.
Astro van.
Should we try penis again?
I feel like penis would have been...
Genitals?
Bigger.
Watch.
Wallet.
No, wallet.
Try cock.
Yeah, try cock.
Ah. It's going to be throbbing cock. Yeah, probably throbbing cock. Yeah, try cock. Ah.
But still a three.
Yeah, probably throbbing cock.
Three is pretty good, though.
Oh, IQ.
Yeah, that makes sense.
All right, one more round.
One more round.
For the rest of your life.
We're winning.
We're winning.
This is great.
This is great news.
All right, triple points.
This is the biggest round.
Name something starting with the letter B that a man might teach his dog to fetch.
A ball.
Ball.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Thank you.
Okay, keep going.
Keep going.
B, B, B, B.
B.
What the?
Dogs fetch a B.
Bird.
Bird.
Yeah.
Fetch that bird.
A beer?
Oh, a beer.
A beer.
Yes.
Good answer. Good answer. Beer, a beer. A beer. Yes, good answer.
Good answer.
Beer.
Two more.
38 seconds.
Is there another name for a stick?
No.
Perhaps a branch?
A branch.
Okay.
Nick, that's cheating.
Good job, Nick.
Oh, wow.
Think throbbing cock again.
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah.
Throbbing cock?
Boner.
Not close.
Boat.
Very close.
Bone. Bone.
Bone.
This is hard on the spot.
I'm not good at this.
That's okay.
Guys, I'm really not.
I think you're going to wind up winning.
That's three of the top answers.
Jerry, hop in.
Just say a word that begins with B.
Bread.
Yes.
Yes.
I can't even think of B words on the spot.
I can't.
What would it be?
Good answers, though.
That was very good answers across the board.
Keys.
Bathrobe.
Fuck you.
That's so fucking dumb.
That's so stupid.
That's just not true.
Did we win?
We won.
Where's Biggie?
Fast Money.
Fast Money.
This is Fast Money.
Oh, this is the hard one.
This is the hard one.
Okay.
But this is a good one.
Most people don't get the Fast Money.
You're in the top echelon of players now.
Name something that's really, really hairy.
Steve Harvey is gross for this one.
Head.
Head.
Head.
Good answer.
Name something you might hurt yourself riding on.
Steve.
A horse.
Horse is a better answer.
It's a paradox.
Name a place dogs are known to drink from.
Where do dogs drink from?
Bowl.
Water bowl?
No.
Yeah.
I mean. Bowl. I'd? No. Yeah. I mean.
Bowl.
I'd say bowl.
Bowl.
Toilet.
Name something specific
that gets brushed.
What gets brushed?
Hair again.
Hair.
Hair.
Hair, yes.
This is a hairy one.
This might be a perfect
Fast Money.
Name a three-letter word
that's a child's favorite thing.
T-I-T.
T-I-T.
Toy.
Toy.
Toy.
Toy's better.
Yeah, toy's better
Good answers
This might be a perfect
Let's see if you did better
than Vinny Hack
Ape Gorilla
Ape Gorilla
There we go
Bowl
31
Toilet
Okay
Great answer
Hair
Toy
Alright
Nice
That was good Very. That was good.
That was good.
That was fantastic.
Thank you so much
for coming in.
Of course.
And Jose Reformed
went private.
We win.
He went private?
Yeah.
He went private.
Thank you, Brianna.
Alright.
Great job, Brianna.
See ya.
Fantastic.
Take it easy.
Should we
wrap it the fuck up?
Should we just stay live until the show? Yeah, I think we can keep going prep for tonight's show we can do it now let's do the prep let's just do
the prep for the show tonight where the hell what is big cat doing i know what is that guy
fucking up he's about to like go invade a fucking cia yeah yeah he looks like a ninja. You say ninja? And I don't want to be on the show anymore.
Wait, is this bio?
No, liar.
Lier.
Everybody ratioed XX?
Is that the...
He's got tactical straps hanging down from him.
What the hell?
Can we show Big Cat quick?
Oh, Big Cat's Antifa.
He is Antifa.
Oh my god, it all makes sense now.
Big Cat's about to leave a bunch of bricks outside of a construction site.
Come in here, Big Cat.
What a fucking sneak.
Where is he?
Is that an impossible angle?
Wait, Jet Ski's talking to Tico Texas.
Oh, wow.
Wait, is that Nate standing up in that background?
Fresh shave on Nate?
No.
That's a coat rack.
Oh, sheesh.
That's Chuck Nateso.
That's Chuck.
That's Chuck Nateso.
Emrags.
Emrags.
All right, let's bet on the next person that walks around that pillar.
I'm going to say Marty Marsh.
Jack Mack. Give me Riley Collins. I'm going to say Marty Mush. Jack Mack.
Give me Riley Collins.
Give me Liz.
Give me Jake Malasek.
I got Jack Mack.
I'm going to go with Ben Mintz.
He almost was there.
Oh, no.
Oh, you saw the limp.
You saw the limp.
Oh, no.
That was awesome.
That was fun.
Do you feel like it was David?
The boss man.
Oh, jeez.
All right, go ahead.
It's following today's title.
It's definitely firing day.
No, I think he probably just didn't get the raise he wanted.
Just walked out of there because he's dejected.
Oh, shit.
Oh, he's grabbing something from the pile.
Dude, have you guys ever seen...
He's going full Antifa.
No way.
What if Big Cat gets let go on firing day
and they dilute his shares?
He is completely undercut.
What the hell is going on?
That's how Big Cat dresses whenever he's off camera.
People don't know that.
He wears glasses and his whole Antifa.
He's like an old man at a baseball game.
Whoa!
KB, what's up with... Is everyone up?
Moving around.
Yeah, what's going on here?
What's up with what?
What's up with you and Bree?
I don't know.
I think it was the first time
you came on the Yak.
There was tension.
I know.
What the fuck is up with her?
But I feel like you don't want to pop the tension.
I feel like you like living in the tension.
I just didn't want to make her do something she didn't want to do.
Like what?
Come on the show.
But why don't you just make it easier for her to come on the show?
Why don't you guys just get along?
Let's make her get along.
Send her to UTEP.
That would make us get along.
She'd have to bring you.
I think it's her Instagram.
You guys can find it.
I've been trying all day to...
There's like a thought in my head that I just can't get out of my head.
And it's like, you know how British people say albino?
They say albino.
Yeah, I didn't know that.
Albino.
Albino.
I didn't know that.
Albino.
Albino. And so what if... If know that. Albino. Albino.
And so what if –
If you're going to say something funny, why don't you go ahead and save it for tonight?
Yeah, true.
True.
We're burning out, dude.
Yeah, we have nothing left.
It's not going to be funny.
All right, let's do it now.
I bet it is.
No, it's like if KB had a brother and his name was Al.
Albino.
Albino.
Albino.
Can we go now
can we go
run that back though
actually yeah
definitely run that back
no
no way
but definitely run back
the thing about
we'll run the
if you're listening
please
just keep the
if you're listening
no you're not
we should have been
mining this show
we should have been
mining this show
for content
over the last couple weeks
yeah
for just like
what's a funny ass
now we got big cat
so all we're gonna have to do is go take pictures of people that listen to our podcasts
but they're gonna be with big cat yeah yeah that'll be sweet well like if they're like hey
do you mind taking this picture type of type of situation will be right there with a iphone 13
super high def um come to the look at big cat he looks like a basketball writer yeah yeah
NBA journalist
what the fuck
oh he's fast
he's quick
oh fuck
come to our show
tonight
yeah
that'll be all
that's it
that'll be all
that'll be all. It's the act. Thank you.