The Yak - Big Cat Is In DESPERATE Need Of Some Vegetables | The Yak 8-20-21
Episode Date: August 21, 2021Frank the tank with a god complexYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstool...yak
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Hello.
Hey, Brent, can you just close this door?
Hello
Welcome back
Hey guys
Hey
It's good to be back
The most punctual show on the internet
Yeah
Feels good
My body is in a lot of pain
You look better than I thought you would
Thank you
Thank you Did Thank you.
Did you get a tan in Buffalo, New York?
Yeah, I mean, I tan well.
You do tan well.
God damn, do you.
But yeah, not to get gross on people, but when you eat buffalo wings, I had buffalo wings five straight days.
Every single meal.
Some type of wing.
You look like you've lost weight.
Do you know what? Well, I was on the
OMAD diet. What, do you live in a
barn?
Yeah.
I told you not to talk about that in the fucking air.
I was on the OMAD diet, so I was
eating once a day. Do you know what the
healthiest thing I ate the entire week
that we were on Grit Week? The celery that
comes with buffalo wings? No.
No, because I dipped that in blue cheese every time it was a primanti brothers sandwich
with fries in it yeah that that I was like thinking about it like what was the most
true substance that my body took in and that was it yeah I mean it has coleslaw on it and it was it
it was at like 9 30 in the morning okay yeah that's that's the best time to eat it yeah i mean it has coleslaw on it and it was it it was at like 9 30 in the morning okay
yeah that's that's the best time to eat it yeah exactly when we were in michigan we were like
craving vegetables yeah right like my body i need i need a hard two-day reset sleep like you know
i was just i just replied people were like how can you not go to the dead and co uh company tonight
at city field i'm like well i'll tell you how i cannot because i i want to go to the dead and company tonight at Citi Field? I'm like, well, I'll tell you how I cannot because I want to go to sleep.
You'll be one of the dead.
And I'll, yeah.
And I will.
Here's the thing.
I got two speeds, buddy.
I got to either go hard or sit on my couch.
And I rarely go hard.
But if I go to the dead and company, I will do a lot of drugs.
Yes.
So I can't do that.
You can't just go and be like, ah, I will do a lot of drugs. Yes. So I can't do that.
You can't just go and be like, ah, I'm going to take it easy.
So I'm withdrawing myself from that environment.
No, that's responsible.
I mean, you went from bachelor party to Buffalo. I forgot I did that.
A man can only take so much.
You're grown.
You're a grown ass individual, too.
Yeah.
So you're putting your body through it.
But you're back, though.
I am back.
No more traveling for... Oh wait, don't you
have to travel this weekend?
Next Friday
Rone and I will be going
to Charleston,
West Virginia. And then
immediately after that, Dave
and I will be going to Cleveland, Ohio.
So yes, I am traveling again.
Well, Dave doesn't like to party or anything like that.
At least you'll kind of be able to avoid that, that whole rigmarole.
Are you coming to Ruff and Rowdy?
I don't think I – I didn't get invited.
The best was, though, that Dave, he did the same thing that I think everyone has done with this Ruff and Rowdy,
is he texted me two days ago.
He's like, hey, do you think we can leave on Thursday night because I want to go to the racetrack?
There's a big race on Friday.
And I was like, yeah, we're going to Charleston, not Charlestown, which is very confusing.
Very confusing.
Those are the two biggest cities, right?
No, Charleston isn't big.
Wait, I thought Charleston was the capital.
Charleston's the capital.
Charlestown. Charlestown is in the eastern panhandle so tun's big town small yeah
and then charlestown is south they're as far apart in west virginia pretty much as you can
be right they're far apart yeah charlestown's pretty close to cleveland no whatever i'm back
on that pj life with with dave fuck yeah the most stacked with Dave Fuck yeah I think it's the most stacked Ruff and Rowdy yet
Yeah it's gonna be incredible
I'm very excited
But yes I do have to travel again
So yeah that's a good point
It's another point
In the column of
I don't think I can handle a concert tonight
Um Sass
Is Ruff and Rowdy this weekend?
What?
No next weekend
Next Friday
But we were just saying that I just got back,
and I was saying that I'm not going to the dead and company tonight at Citi Field.
I would love to, but it's just a body can only take so much.
You know?
You know.
The Gravel Dead is a band.
As a 20-year-old, you know.
Yeah, I'm exhausted.
You are?
I'm supposed to go home today, but apparently I can't anymore
because there's going to be a hurricane this weekend.
Oh.
Really? Yeah. First night since 91, right? And then I can't anymore because there's going to be a hurricane this weekend. Oh. In Boston?
Yeah.
Yeah.
First time since 91, right?
And then I won't be able to come back in time.
So that sucks.
Dude, you should have seen it when we went to Benny the Butcher's studio.
Sass brought three guns.
Yeah.
He brought three guns?
Three.
Big ones.
I was like, don't you think that's too, like two is okay.
And he had them bundled in his arms.
Yeah.
He didn't have them in holsters.
He was just like holding all the guns.
Like when you don't,
when you don't,
when you go to the grocery store
and you're like refusing to use a basket.
He had his shirt pulled up
and had a bunch of guns.
Yeah,
he had one under his chin
and he dropped it
and it hit the floor.
He's like,
oh fuck,
he tried to save it.
Yeah.
Kick it up like a can of beans.
When I went,
when I went hiking on Monday,
there was like, you, we would see people like every now and then.
We only saw like five people probably, like five different groups on the hike.
And everyone we saw, they all had guns.
Really?
Yeah.
One of them was like, it was a guy and a girl.
And we were talking to them for like 10 minutes.
And then I just looked down and this girl just has a gun just in her waistband.
She's got like sweatpants on.
I guess you can't shoot your vagina off.
No, it's nothing then.
It's probably smart though.
I was saying yesterday.
You can't cut a pussy off.
No.
You would have shot a bear.
If a bear came at you, you would have shot it.
I don't think you have that in your eyes.
I don't think I would have had a gun.
It kind of felt stupid not having bear spray. You're not a killer. You would have tried to would have had a gun. Nah. But I think it would have been probably, it was like kind of felt stupid like not having
bear spray.
You're not a killer.
You would have tried to tell the bear a joke.
Could you take a bear down with one bullet from a handgun?
Yeah.
In between his eyes, brother.
That's the only way.
Isn't that how you punch sharks?
Yeah.
No, right in the nose.
In the dick.
Black bears, you punch them in the eyes too.
I love how that's like a secret.
Like if you don't want a shark to attack you punch it in its face.
That's anything.
Fight it.
A little secret.
Also like if you're
getting attacked by a shark
the odds that you can
actually pull off
punching it in the face
are like slim to none.
Sounds like you don't
know how to punch.
When you get attacked
by a shark it grabs
onto you and like
throws you around.
There's no way you're
going to be able to
start landing punches.
Yeah you're thinking
of alligators.
You are.
You just did an
alligator roll. That was what sharks do too. You are. No. You just did an alligator roll.
That was what sharks do, too.
That was an alligator.
That was an alligator.
That's what sharks do.
Did you see that?
I'd love to know how many people have gotten attacked by sharks
and actually were able to punch them in the face.
Bro, I would love for a shark to test me.
Yeah.
Try me, bro.
I'm horrified of sharks.
Really?
Yeah.
My biggest fear, actually.
How often do you go in the ocean?
I grew up on the ocean. But do you go in routinely now? No, he's scared. The? Yeah. My biggest fear, actually. How often do you go in the ocean? I grew up on the ocean.
But do you go in routinely now?
No, he's scared. The classic fact is that... Have you seen a shark? Have you been in the water at the same time as a shark?
No, but where I'm from, there's
seals there all the time.
And you kind of look like a seal.
I know. Yeah.
More people die from falling vending machines
than shark attacks per year. Falling vending machines?
Yeah. I could totally see myself dying that way. No, you would body a vending machines than shark attacks per year. Falling vending machines? I could totally see myself
dying that way.
No, you would body a vending machine.
You'd have to be tiny children.
You could kill a vending machine.
Who's dying from that?
Little children.
I honestly think that's throwing.
Anything could take me out. Old ladies.
Yeah. Dumbasses.
So do we have
something we have to figure out on the Yak.
We have two things, right?
Don't we have a twerk contest today?
So I, after the Yak yesterday, I walked past Ebony and she was just like, tomorrow, August
20th.
I was like, yeah.
And she's like, that's twerk fest.
Oh.
Ebony's twerk fest.
No ugly bitches.
Oh.
And so I don't know what that is.
Oh, we get out of here?
Yeah.
No.
No ugly bitch.
Big Cat, you haven't been here just to catch you up.
Ebony was on Wednesday.
Brought up her friend Jessica.
Kyle asked if she had any easy friends, and it was Jessica.
Zah knows Jessica.
Zah said her ass was three and a half feet wide.
Whoa.
Now, is she a messica?
Well, Zah, is she a what?
A messica.
What the fuck is that?
A Jessica that gets too drunk
and then becomes messica.
So actually,
I haven't had booze with her,
but she seems like it.
Oh, you've only fucked?
Yeah.
She gets her body done in the DR.
Big fake ass.
Love it.
Real lips.
Real lips that she has
grown
that's actually a genius
thing to do
to be like
you meet someone
you're like
yeah my ass is fake
but my lips are real
yeah
how
if you say something
like that
like you have to
assume that the lips
are real
because you've already
admitted your ass
is fake
why would you lie
yeah
why would you lie
about that
right
it could all be fake
and yeah
uh flat stomach.
Sass just popped a pill.
Sass did just pop a pill.
Is that a steroid?
Open his mouth like a dog.
I lost my Zoloft.
And I was tearing apart my room yesterday trying to find it because I was having like
with balls.
What is Zoloft?
Antidepressants.
It's for crazy people.
And apparently it exploded in my backpack.
So there's just 30 loose Zolofts in my bag.
So that's how I'm carrying them around.
Exploded.
I'm sorry, bro.
I didn't know you took Zoloft.
It's okay to not be okay.
I'm so sorry, dude.
I should probably be on a lot more than that.
I'm trying to up my dose.
Yeah.
It's a goddamn war zone in my head.
You also had a banana explode in your bag.
A banana, yeah.
So it's like a banana-flavored Zoloft.
Oh, that's not bad. All banana, yeah. So it's like a banana-flavored Zoloft.
Oh, good.
All right, so back to Messica.
We tried to call her Wednesday.
She didn't pick up.
Thursday, we get a hold of her, and she was really liking KB.
She sounded sexy.
KB's got KB.
Does she know that KB had overdosed on weed?
No, but she brought up how she likes to smoke and drink.
Basically, they said that all Jessica needs is Bud and Hennessy.
Got it, and then she's good to go.
Hennessy makes her gag reflex go away.
I don't know if that's a product of the alcohol, a numbing agent,
or I don't know what that really entails.
But Jessica's supposed to be in today.
No, Jessica.
Let's go to Ebony. No, Jessica.
Well, we'll see if Jessica gets in.
But there was also no KB today.
Yeah.
KB did it on purpose.
Well, he was tired of getting called together.
They probably ran out.
They probably ran off together.
They ran off together.
I know you guys talked about KB
like morphing into a 15-year-old high schooler
who's like,
Take me to the hospital i'm gonna
freak out i'm fucking dying yeah but uh so i was on the road and like when you're on the road like
you kind of miss things like i missed like all kinds of stuff like not really on the internet
as much not really like up to date on text messages so i got i think it was maybe to pittsburgh
and i i was like checking up on the day and it was something about KB going to the hospital.
So I called him right away, and I was like, hey, is this worse or more embarrassing or a real reason?
Is it on the Brandon Walker needing a cup of water scale?
And unfortunately, he might be our number one pussy.
He might be the number one pussy.
And with a show of pussies,
we should put out our rankings.
He just toppled number one,
Brandon Walker.
Yeah.
Right?
I mean, yeah, Brandon's a big pussy.
Sash will go to the hospital for anything.
I'm a huge pussy.
I'm a pussy too.
Let's be honest.
I'm a pussy.
Owen's probably our bravest guy.
Yeah, Owen's definitely no fear shit. And he's a pussy. Yeah, I Nick's a pussy. Owen's probably our bravest guy. Yeah, Owen's definitely no fear shit.
And he's a pussy.
Yeah, Owen's also a pussy.
He's a bravest pussy.
Yes, right.
So, yeah, KB might be the top dog, top pussy, top cat.
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
I can't believe that that happened.
The craziest thing is he said at one point he accepted death.
Yeah.
He said he knew he was going to die.
That's horrible.
And he showed me a text message.
He sent one text message to three ex-girlfriends ago.
And it was just like, hey, I'm going to the hospital.
I just like if you hear anything.
So that's the one.
That's the one that got away.
I think it is.
It has to be.
What's her name?
What's her full name?
Full name and social.
I imagine after that text, she's going to keep getting away.
Yeah, she's further.
Yeah.
Never text me again.
Now that you're number one.
She's his emergency contact.
I need you to get to the hospital.
In 10 years.
I know it's been a while, but I'm ODing on marijuana right now.
A next of kin is a crazy rule in hospitals.
Yeah, they just feel antiquated.
They can pull the fucking plug on you, or they have to sign off and you die.
Well, nobody was allowed to see Kyle for like seven hours.
Because you weren't kin?
Yeah.
You should have just lied your way through it.
Also, the fact that you even went, though.
He didn't need you.
He didn't need you.
Seven hours?
He didn't need you to just be sitting in another room.
I would have left. I would have left.
I would have left after the second hour.
Because you did the, like, getting him there.
It's like when Sass's lung got punctured.
So did you guys drive him to the hospital?
The offer is really all that matters.
Or you weren't there, right?
But I was just thinking.
You left where you were and met him there?
Yeah.
Did he give you anything after?
He Venmo'd me $40.
What the fuck?
Wait, but I thought it was $200 to get there.
So wait, you got...
What is that?
Yeah, you Ubered to the Hoboken Hospital.
Yeah, I don't know.
But I was just thinking about how embarrassed he was going to be.
He was paying you far less than minimum wage.
Yeah.
It's $5.70 an hour.
With tips?
Yeah, so is Barstool.
Yeah.
No, I don't know.
I didn't want him to be alone.
That would be...
He was still alone, though, in that hospital.
In his death?
You didn't want him to die alone?
No.
What kind of World War I shit are you on?
Just holding hands with him?
I'm here.
It's okay.
Tell my mother.
It's okay.
Did you do his parents now?
Yes.
Yeah.
His dad's embarrassed and his mom's disappointed.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Such a hard drug.
He didn't even want to get high.
He said the cookie just tasted too good.
It's a man after my heart.
Starving and you just
have edibles?
That's a thing though. You can OD on edibles.
I've heard that before.
No!
What do you mean?
What do you mean OD?
You can get too high, but you just
go to sleep.
I promise this is going to be one of the things where you realize you're wrong.
I literally remember watching something about it, and they were saying, they were like,
this mother had to pick up her kids from school, and she OD'd on marijuana brownies.
But overdosing, you're never in danger of dying.
I don't think that's what it meant, though.
But that's not overdosing.
It's just taking too much.
You could overdose on anything without dying.
Right, but that's just taking too much of it.
Yeah.
But what's the definition of overdosing?
You feel uncomfortable?
Yeah, right.
Like taking enough that you feel uncomfortable?
I mean, you take too much and you get sick?
I don't know.
You start thinking about your life too hard?
So if I had too much ice cream and I got nauseous, did I overdose on ice cream?
I have no idea.
I overdose on shit. That I have no idea. I overdose on shit.
If you can overdose on weed gummies, not smoking weed, but the edibles, because they're easier to ingest and they're stronger.
I OD'd on what? Gummy bears.
Gummy bears.
No, it's definitely a real thing.
It's the weed company's fault for making them into delicious treats.
Yeah, that's true. Serving size is like one nibble of a Pringle. Yeah. It's the weed company's fault for making them delicious treats. Yeah. Serving size is like
one nibble of a Pringle.
Yeah.
Impossible.
I would OD on
one bite of an edible.
Really?
I don't think
that's what OD means.
You're making up
your own definition of OD.
I swear to God,
I saw it in the news.
I remember sitting
at my grandma's
watching it.
Did you guys hear
about sassy OD'd?
It's literally a thing.
Is he okay? Well, yeah, he's like very welleed? It's literally a thing. Oh, is he okay?
Well, yeah, he's, like, very well rested.
The news is so trustworthy.
Yeah, he feels better than he ever has.
Can you overdose on marijuana?
On edibles, not smoking.
Oh, my God.
But what would the – like, how would you die?
Yeah, you just –
I don't know.
I don't know.
I bet the medical term is overdose, but that's over anything.
I guess it's an overdose or a bad reaction.
Got it.
A bad reaction.
So that's like a...
Okay.
That's so different.
Can you overdose on marijuana?
Yes, but unlike other...
He's going for top pussy.
Yes.
I think that he's buying for top pussy.
You are somehow making Kyle seem hard.
Yeah.
Because you're...
You're trying to defend.
KD.
KD knows that
he was a pussy.
The Guardian says
you're not going to die
how to survive
an edible marijuana
overdose.
Go to sleep.
Listen to fish.
Yeah.
Eat some food
and have some water.
I didn't say you could die.
I'm just saying
how to survive.
And they're saying
that I remember
watching something
and they were like
you can overdose
on edibles. So you can overdose on literally anything. You can're saying that. I remember watching something and they were like, you can overdose on edibles.
So you can overdose on literally anything.
You can overdose on anything.
It would be great if it was like how to survive.
Like what's the, fuck, Narcon or whatever it is.
Yeah, Narcon.
It's just like cool ranch Doritos for weed.
Give him a full injection.
Make sure he finishes the entire bag.
Like there was that woman that drank too much water at the contest.
She died.
She drowned.
You can drown.
That's drowning.
She overdosed on water.
She was trying to win a Nintendo Wii.
It was ironic.
That is like such a not funny because she died.
But yeah, a little funny.
A funny concept that like you don't realize that you actually are drowning yourself.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's crazy. I think that if I drowning yourself. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy.
I think that if I die by drinking too much water, it's funny.
You can laugh at it.
Okay, cool.
I'll kind of sign off on that.
Yeah, but wait.
Hold on a second.
You don't drink water.
That's not true at all.
I've never seen you drink water.
I've never seen you drink water.
That's not true at all.
That's bullshit.
Me and Ron picked up four waters at the airport yesterday.
We picked up a four pack.
I drink more water than anybody in here. I've never seen four-pack. I drink more water than anybody in here.
I've never seen you drink water.
I drink more water than any of you folks.
That's not true.
Not true.
Drink some water right now.
Yeah, just grab your water.
I had some already today.
I already took some water this morning.
It did make me, though, remind me of just how funny it was that Brandon had to go and the doctor prescribed him a glass of water.
Yeah.
They were like, hey, here's some medicine.
It was just a glass of water.
Jesus Christ.
Any pills?
You going to give me any pills for this?
I took him to the hospital because I was dehydrated when I was really young.
But I think I was actually on the verge of death.
Threw up like a hundred times.
I don't think you were.
No.
They had to give me an IV.
Really?
Gatorade. Powerade. I don't think you were. Nah. They had to give me an IV. Really?
Gatorade.
Powerade. Powerade.
Straight into my veins.
IVs are hospital's ways of just saying that you're being a pussy.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's just water.
Yeah.
How many times have you almost died?
That was probably the closest I've ever been.
I've only gone to the hospital once, probably then.
Hmm.
Yeah.
But you're also like anti-science and anti-facts. Yeah, yeah, of course. But you're also anti-science.
Yeah, of course.
Big time.
Most people die at the hospitals.
If you look at the statistics,
that's where people are dying.
True.
So you're going to go to a hospital? Fauci's in there pulling the plugs on everybody.
Trying to get those numbers.
Just turning off the power of a whole floor.
I have a question.
Since I was kind of out of the loop all week,
this guy, this Jeopardy guy,
did he give himself the job?
I don't know.
I think he did.
I was trying to catch up on it,
and my obvious knee-jerk reaction is,
of course, it's fucking lame as fuck.
What did he say?
I didn't hear...
Something he said eight years ago.
Because it's just always...
Let's just say we will never get jobs hosting Jeopardy.
Because what he said was it wasn't that he said women look frumpy and like one piece suits or something.
I couldn't follow the whole story, but fucked up.
Like, I'm actually OK with this.
This particular set of like circumstances in terms of cancel culture if he gave himself
the job, because that's the lamest thing I've ever heard.
Well, even before that, didn't he get the job, and then they were mad there wasn't a
woman, so they appointed one to split the job?
It is also very funny that his name is Mike Richards.
His name is Mike Richards.
It's just a cancelable name.
It's something else.
Yeah, Mike Richards. Yeah, so I don't know. The worst Mike Richards. Yeah, it doesn Richards. It's just a cancelable name. About something else. Yeah, Mike Richards.
Yeah, so I don't know.
The worst Mike Richards.
Yeah, it doesn't make any sense at all.
I mean, he could have been a great host.
I think Andy Cohen was just a producer, and he just wound up.
I think he gave himself the job, so it's not a terrible thing, but just finessing.
Jeopardy is also one of those things, like, again, I think it's so fucking lame that these people just all they do is search history and then be like, all right, we got another one.
And then they move on to the next.
But and they don't care about Jeopardy.
No, they don't care about Jeopardy.
They don't care about the jokes that were made.
They weren't offended.
They just they care about the sport of it.
But Jeopardy would be in the category of things that like like you just said, like we're never going to be the host of Jeopardy.
No, there are certain jobs that like you just can't.
It's like the mafia going legit.
You know what I mean.
Yeah.
You can't you can't expect him.
You can't expect Jeopardy to be like oh yeah that's OK.
You had a comedy podcast.
I feel like the job so irreplaceable that they should just put a really shitty one to
start and then the next one will be better.
That job should be automated.
Yeah.
Why.
Jeff D.
Lowe.
But what about Jeff D. Lowe. But what about like-
But Jeff D. Lowe can't host Jeopardy.
No.
Because of his association with us.
No, he can't.
Just Jeopardy or like all game shows.
Because what about like Steve Harvey, Family Feud?
What about it?
He was a comedian before.
Yeah.
And he never said a problematic thing once.
Except for he can't-
He did knock-knock jokes, dude.
Yeah.
Remember the Afghanistan joke from that podcast we were listening to? Oh, tell it i don't tell it in tell it in steve harvey's voice
you actually like dresses him yeah you know what i'm talking about right
no no explain it from our drop when we were driving we were listening to bastard radio
and they're talking about it he's like if he's like wait no really get into the
get into character i don't want to say the voice but it's funnier with the voice i'll just play
can i play it no i'm not it's illegal it's illegal to play it today's not my day to get canceled
i don't die today that's not how i die what you don't realize is we're already we're already
canceled we're past that realm yeah we're not working yeah oh yeah i guess that's true yeah
but it is put when you work for like when you're going for an nbc show like you're just putting We're past that realm. Yeah, we're not working. Oh, yeah, I guess that's true. Yeah.
But when you're going for an NBC show, you're just putting yourself in a situation to be cancelable.
Right.
Because at some point, you're going to have to answer to the networks, all these people who don't really give a fuck or just Twitter messaging them.
And if not, the network is going to have to answer to the advertisers. And those just have random people Twitter messaging them.
It's just like, are you susceptible to random people just giving you a barrage of hate messages on the internet?
That was Barstool Van Talk.
And Neutrogena just can't handle that.
And then it's just like a comedian gets hired by SNL and then he gets canceled.
And then people are just like, why isn't SNL funny anymore?
Right.
Can't hire comedians.
Why the fuck isn't this funny?
You're the same people that don't let them hire comedians.
It is a tough spot to be in.
Yeah, but you're done, Sass.
You can't go anywhere.
Oh, yeah.
You got a job for life here. You're done before you're born, brother.
You got a family feud.
No.
Or the Empire State Building.
Not after that dyslexia video. Yeah one was bad really bad so bad you had to
delete it you can't delete it he's gonna go on wheel of fortune and start making fun of the
people for not being able to get the shit right with his dyslexia yeah my my my crazy ableist ass
you are ableist.
All right, so the other thing we have is we got a tank problem that I got to figure out.
Tank kind of lost it on us yesterday.
Fleming was unhinged.
Oh, man.
He called us all cringeworthy.
I got a few tweets about it.
He said the show was cringeworthy, and I thought it was a pretty good episode.
I was laughing.
I came in very – we came in like 30 minutes late because we came straight from the airport,
and I wasn't even – I didn't even talk a lot, but I was laughing at the ban in very, we came in like 30 minutes late because we came straight from the airport and I wasn't even
I didn't even talk a lot but I was like laughing at the
banter. Yeah, it was good banter.
I just think
Tank Thursday
in its early stages was around Tank.
Yeah. And now Tank Thursday, he's
one of the group but it doesn't convey.
I'm going to fix it.
My message to the Yak listeners
is I'm going to fix it. I don't the Yak listeners is I'm going to fix it.
I don't know how.
But you're going to do it.
But I will fix it. I don't think they believe you.
Well, I've always come through on my promises.
Yeah, you have.
You sound very much like a politician right now.
I was thinking a coach.
It's a podcast now.
Getting sass up on the cartoon.
That was a promise I made and delivered.
Turn around, brother. Yeah, he's gone made. I delivered. Turn around, brother.
Yeah, he's gone.
Oh, I know.
They pulled me.
What other promises have I made?
You said we were going to do
drafts, and we did that.
We have another idea that's in the works.
Yes, thank you to the listener who we saw
in Buffalo. I'm trying to think what other promises
have I made. a ton of them
brownie Mondays
oh yeah
people would love that
we should actually
oh fuck
Russian roulette with a brownie
yeah we should do that
that would be funny
KB will convince himself
that he has the one
that absolutely should be an episode.
We'll do a two.
That's a promise I'm making right now.
A promise I am making right now is that at some point.
We can't fix it so Sass gets it.
No, we can't fix it.
We'll do it live and we'll go an hour and a half.
It'll be like a two-hour show.
Everyone starts the show, eats a brownie.
Only one of the brownies has weed in it.
Yep, and one of them has walnuts for me.
For Owen.
Oh, yeah.
I get it automatically.
Blend it, though.
Not so you could taste it right away.
You have to wait to see if you're...
All right, we're going to do it.
We're going to do that.
It won't be a lot of weed.
And you can always taste it.
We should just do none of them with weed in it
and then just see if KB convinces himself that he's hot.
No, we're doing a brownie roulette.
That's also my way of saying
I don't want to get the one with weed.
Well, you have a one in, like, seven chance that you won't.
That's pretty high.
Right.
No, it's a six in seven chance that you won't.
Yeah.
That's pretty high.
I guess.
But I think that to address the tank situation,
I think that this show is built on, like, building good times.
Or as the Irish say, the crack.
Just having a good time. Just having a good time.
Just keeping a good time rolling.
And I don't think that just in the middle of the show trying to call a cringeworthy fits into that.
You have to keep the good times rolling.
Even if you find it to be cringeworthy, maybe lean into it.
And maybe try to build it in a way.
And that kind of is antithetical to what we're trying to do here.
And there's no main character. That's the magic
of the yak with big cat.
Hey, there he is.
Me.
Alright, so I'm going to fix it.
Yeah, sit there. I'm going to fix it though.
I'm going to fix it. I might like write up a ticket
like a fake parking ticket
and give it to him.
And be like, hey, this wasn't me.
This was the city of New York.
Yeah.
Wrote you up for not having a good time.
What up, KB?
KB, we were talking about our tank situation that I'm going to fix.
Just the most inconvenient afternoon for me.
Yeah?
Well, at least you didn't die from weed.
I got accosted by this frumpy bitch in a one-piece suit.
Baby's out on Jeopardy.
You're out.
It's over.
I'm real, dude.
I'm so close to moving to Scottsdale.
Really?
After this fucking $35 Uber.
You think it's better than Scottsdale?
Scottsdale Ubers are going to be fucking crazy too.
Do you know the urban- Owen ran me $40 drive.
Do you know the urban sprawl of Arizona?
This motherfucker cost me $40.
The entire train was down?
The entire train, the Fulton Station train was down.
Go to another station.
We figured it out, by the way.
How?
You paid Owen $5.70 per hour.
That he waited for you.
Well, I have to pay my fucking hospital bill.
Do you?
I'm not above what I'm about to do.
Venmo's open?
I don't think it's that ethically inappropriate, but Venmo, Owen Roeder, and Venmo, KB no swag.
Damn, it's that steep?
My hospital bill is steep
Yeah you were there
For ten hours
Yeah is there a pussy tax
There definitely is
Do you think you're
The biggest pussy on the show
We said you're probably
Number one now
For at least right now
But then actually
Sass took the crowd
Very quickly
Because he said
You can't overdose on me
Sass is the biggest pussy
But I
That was the biggest pussy move
Yes
From one of our cast members.
You're the only one to own it.
To go skull to skull in a D1 match.
It wasn't a reaction to weed.
It was a panic attack, which is an entirely separate.
But it just happened only when you were on weed.
It would have happened if you had the weed or not?
No.
No, no.
What is a catalyst?
I don't blame you, KB.
Thank you. You're welcome.
But we're...
I don't know if I could ever look at you the same.
Do I look fly? No.
Your girl bailed.
Yeah, where's Jessica? I know.
That's part of the reason why I'm late. I ran home.
I had to change.
Yeah, for her? No, I had to change.
I was dressed for her.
Oh.
I had my Fat Joe graphic tee on.
Fat Joe's not that lyrical.
Why are you assuming that she just likes Fat Joe?
She likes lyrical shit.
Isn't he from the Bronx?
Maybe.
He's like the Bronx.
He's the Bronx rapper, I thought.
Yeah, BX.
All right. But we're addressing, I thought. Yeah, BX. All right.
But we're addressing the Tank situation.
Yeah.
So you snapped at him?
Tank broke me.
Yeah.
It's one thing to not care about our little unique bits and conversations that don't involve him. But it's another thing to call us out and call us cringeworthy and fake sleeping
and pretend like he is the host.
Right.
Tank Thursdays, you are the guest.
That's what that entails.
Correct.
You are not the host.
Right, right.
It's not your show.
We're not going to talk about the Mets.
Right.
All right, so I'm going to fix it.
Can somebody Photoshop KB and Tiananmen Square
stopping the tank?
I think honestly...
Honestly...
We can get that. Someone will
tweet us that.
I would fuck with that.
As soon as we get that photoshopped, just look
at all of our... Yeah, that will happen.
Should we at the Yak?
No, I didn't talk to him. He looked like he was bitter toward us.
He was unapproachable.
Honestly, I think it has to do with Frank was right.
That's empowered him?
No, if I know Tank, I think he thinks Frank was right about everything.
When people say Frank was right, it's like he's right about the world.
He is a God complex. He thinks he's right about the world. He is a God complex.
He thinks he's omnipotent.
He thought you could OD on weed.
I couldn't convince him otherwise.
I have faith.
The moments that I've been able to coach Frank, he has responded to it.
To you?
Yes.
So I'm going to, I'm saying.
If you were there, he wouldn't have done that.
Yeah, it's my promise that I will get him back on the right path.
We got a quick tank update.
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Look at him.
What the fuck is this?
What is he eyeing?
He's got his eyes on Donnie's nipples.
Are they in his apartment?
Yes, they are.
They're in his apartment.
They're in his apartment.
Marty's vlogging again. You can tell Marty's on his vlog shit. Let's note, they are. They're in his apartment. They're in his apartment. Marty's vlogging again.
You can tell Marty's on his vlog shit.
Let's note, those are shorts he's wearing.
Look at that sliver.
That's a capri.
He looks like Rafael Nadal right there.
Is Donnie going to win his fight?
I don't think.
That guy is fucking big.
The dude that he's fighting is yoked.
Donnie's going to win.
He's been working on cardio all day.
Donnie's heart's good.
Donnie trains like two times a day, I think.
Donnie's going to be a beast.
And he's also a chef, so he's got the right nutrition.
So is the other guy.
Tiananmen Square tweet is up.
Oh, nice.
Okay.
Can we see that?
I hate a lackadaisical effort.
It looks fine.
It's fine?
Are you saying that over and over?
No, it's got to be tank in the tank.
Yeah, it's got to be tank in the tank.
And you've got to be facing it.
And you have to be facing it.
This guy put his back to Tiananmen Square?
Good luck trying to find a picture of KB's back.
He's never been there.
I have pictures of Kyle from every angle.
That's the one guy I'll let do that.
So you feel good?
Did you have like an ego death or anything?
I feel amazing.
Because I can't stress enough that I thought I was dead.
And now every day is a blessing.
I'm living on extra credit dates.
You should get a tattoo of that date.
It is the best thing.
It's the best thing.
What's that mean?
It's like, never forget.
You ever hear about Nikki Sixx and the Motley Crue?
Same thing happened to me.
I wish I could recommend that.
It's 100% was worth the three hours of misery.
You might have had ego death.
That happens with, like, if you take too much acid and shit.
You basically leave your own body and realize you're completely meaningless.
I've always had that.
But now you really have it.
That's why you're not afraid to bitch out tank.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's why you are willing to literally step in front of a tank.
Sass, great performance on the dozen, by the way.
Yeah, you bitch.
You fucking asshole.
You didn't show up.
No.
Where were you, Wyoming in the world of woods?
Yeah, no, I know.
Yeah.
I know.
I'm aware.
Someone DMed me and said he said the same thing on Wednesday, too.
The best moment of coming back today was I had Owen debrief me on everything.
So he's just standing at my desk listing everything.
And then Rhea walked over and she's like,
you excited for Twerk Fest today?
And I was like, what the fuck?
And Owen's like, well, I haven't gotten to that yet.
Things have changed.
It was a packed week.
We were like 15 minutes into debriefing and he hadn't gotten to Twerk Fest.
It's like the West Wing.
You're walking around and he's like Aaron Sorkin scene.
He's giving you memos and shit like that.
Yeah, so you got on the Tank's bad side for that too.
Yeah, I think he was just like calling out my work ethic.
That's what it seemed like.
Show him the nubbies, bro.
I know.
I was like, I've never said anything bad about Frank.
Let him know that you did your verse for our new song. I know. I was like, I've never said anything bad about Frank. Let him know that you did your. He's just coming at me.
You did your verse for our new song.
I know.
Like seven times without the guy recording.
He was actually really good.
Was that on purpose?
No.
Everyone was like, I was standing in the booth.
Me and Rome were out there.
They were out there.
And I was in.
And I like looked up.
PFT walked back in.
I was like, I want to hear Sass's. Can we play it? And he's like, oh, no, he already went. Like, you back in. I was like, I want to hear Sass's.
Can we play it?
And he's like, oh, no, he already went.
You missed it.
I was like, really?
And the guy had just not recorded anything.
Sass was just rapping to nothing for like 15 minutes.
And I kept on talking because you can talk to the producer.
He wasn't listening.
And I was like, yo, can we play that back one more time?
And he just wouldn't.
And I'd be like, all right.
And then we finally did it.
It was fun.
It was actually super fun.
It was very fun.
So you had Benny.
I mean, I suck.
You were nervous too.
You don't suck though.
I wasn't nervous at all.
Was I nervous, Rob?
Yes.
At the beginning you were nervous.
Yes.
But by the end you were enjoying yourself.
Who was more nervous, me or Big Cat?
But I admit that I'm nervous.
I don't just sit there bouncing my knees.
I was like, yo, I suck at rapping.
I hate doing this.
Yeah, it's the one thing you don't have practice in.
Big Cat actually isn't bad at rapping.
His rap voice is hilarious.
And PFT's is crazy good.
I heard PFT was objectively good.
Yeah, no, he always has been.
Yeah, no, I have terrible flow.
So was Big Cat.
Big Cat was objectively good.
Big Cat is less nervous.
I was the only one
On the track
Who's objectively bad
No I disagree
It's definitely true
But I don't care
I'm not like a rapper
But it was fun
It was funny
It was funny yeah
And also the guy was like
He was like
What's your rap name
And I was like
Lil Sasquatch
And he was like
Damn that's a dope ass name
It is
He's like
Cause a Sasquatch is big
Yeah
I gotta gas up bro Did you tell the story About Benny It is. He's like, because the Sasquatch is big. Yeah.
I got to gas up.
Did you tell the story about Benny?
I did not.
I got to gas up Roan for a second.
It was one of the coolest friendship moments I've ever had.
We were in the studio. So there's the recording part, and then you're in the studio where the engineer is.
And you can't hear each other unless you're on the mic.
And Roan was on the mic in the engineer is, and you can't really, you can't hear each other unless you're on the mic, and Roan was on the mic in the recording
part, and
Benny the Butcher was like, dude, this
guy's fucking good. I was like, well, yeah, he's
a battle rapper, Roan, and he was like,
that's fucking Roan? I
fucking love Roan. I was like,
who is this guy? Benny the Butcher. Oh, this is
Benny. Benny was like, I fucking love Roan.
You guys fucking brought Roan.
I was like, this is the coolest friendship moment.
I wish Roan had seen it.
It was very cool, though.
He was very nice.
It was fucking awesome. Did you see that interview?
I talked about you in an interview once.
That's very humbling.
That's very nice of you to say.
He was the man.
He was so nice.
He had a little dog the entire time.
It was called Sawyer.
And he was like Sig Sawyer, the gun.
Yeah, not Tom Sawyer.
Not Tom Sawyer.
He made sure to let us know What it was named after
They were very
They protected that dog
Like it was
It was his first day
In the studio
First day in the studio
You tried to
You tried to strangle it
I know
I know
Get my cred up
Sass is leaving that part out
He threw a chair at it
Like Bobby Knight
He literally
You gotta stay
And he walks in
When you're in the studio You turn into a different person Yeah Sass was like Yo That dog there Evergreen statement He threw a chair at it like Bobby Knight. He literally, like, Benny walks in.
When you're in the studio, you turn into a different person. Yeah, Sass was like, yo, that dog there.
Evergreen statement.
I was like, why is that dog looking at me?
Yeah, he was like, are we going to eat that dog later or what?
I was like, what the fuck?
What the fuck?
That was fucked up.
And then Benny was on our flight, and it was onward.
Yeah, I heard that.
There's no way to sit without seeing too much of my legs.
Oh, no.
Did he say anything to you guys?
I think Coley put me on to him.
I just think he bought the flight late.
I think he bought the ticket.
He was a Friday vibe.
The first Friday vibe, Coley put him on,
and everyone was like,
I think people may have responded unfavorably.
Really?
What the fuck is this shit?
What is this flow?
I've never heard such a weird flow
And I don't fuck with it
I don't feel it
I think you're projecting
I liked it
And I followed him on
His verse on the song
The music
He's an incredible
Like he just
We showed up
Played the song
And he was like
Alright give me a few minutes
He just stood in the corner
Like mumbling to himself
He's like alright I'm ready to go
And it's just all off the head
Like he just did
He wrote it all on his head
He had a crew A posse that was just chilling there?
There was a squad there.
What was the ratio?
I think it's friends.
Yeah, what was the ratio?
Were there hoes?
We're not allowed to say.
What was the ratio of you guys to their guys?
We were like seven deep.
Probably too much.
They're like, wow, you guys have a lot of...
They were like five or six.
No.
When we were leaving, there was a
squad there. Yeah, that was some other people.
There was like a party in the studio, and they
were just playing our song.
They're just playing our song on
repeat, and there's like a party going on in the
studio. They were acting like
we just recorded
God's plan or something.
They're like, damn, this is
gone. He writes his stuff in his head, though.
Supposedly.
We were talking about it afterwards.
And Sass was like, no, he doesn't.
He definitely doesn't.
I looked at him.
He's on his phone like this.
And he's rapping, looking at something.
And then everyone's like, dude, he just wrote all of that in his head.
You thought that he just lied to us.
I was like, dude, there's no reason to look in his phone.
He did the verse without his phone in his hand.
Oh, yeah, he memorized it.
But he wrote it.
He wrote it on his phone.
I get it.
But he just has no reason to lie about it.
Yeah.
It wouldn't look bad if he wrote it.
Or maybe do they write blurbs to hit?
Huh?
Do they write, like, blurbs to hit and freestyle the rest?
You could see him going through the whole process of doing it.
So why does Sass just not believe it?
Because Sass is a fucking hater.
All I'm saying is I saw some things.
Just calling out the process for no reason.
And he thought he was calling it out in the room where people recorded.
And there was just a microphone.
And I didn't realize you could hear everything.
And I'm like
Dude he did not
He did not just come up with that
That's like when you found out
Workaholics was only like
40% improv
You were heartbroken
Yeah
Why don't you get your weight up
Not your hate up
Yeah
Bro I'm not hating
I'm not hating
I just wrote that in my head
Yeah that was
I mean is writing in your head
Just thinking
Yeah
Dude this guy's not thinking
He's using his fucking phone to think.
I'm not a hater.
I'm not a hater.
I actually think his verse was awesome.
And his intro is so good.
You just want to put an F on it.
I just want it to be known.
There might have been some stuff happening behind the scenes.
This was all written on an iPhone 12.
You, on the other hand, you did not write your verse.
I did not write my verse.
That's something you have on him. And I heard it. You should have. That's true. What, you wrote it? Rowan wrote my verse. You, on the other hand, you did not write your verse. I did not write my verse. That's something you have on him.
And I heard it.
You should have.
It's true.
What, you wrote it?
Rowan wrote my verse.
Yeah, Rowan wrote my verse.
Oh, shit.
Oh, fucking hell.
My verse is great, by the way.
You didn't even hear the first half.
Bobby Flay!
Give me a teaser.
Like a bar.
Give him the BF.
Yeah, give us a bar.
I don't remember any of it.
I'll pull it out.
Should I just spit it right now?
Don't do the whole thing.
No, no, no.
Just give me a piece. You gotta leave some. Yeah, you have to surprise people. I'll pull it out. Should I just spit it right now? Don't do the whole thing. Oh, no, no. Just give me a piece.
You've got to leave some.
Yeah, you have to surprise people.
Just say one of the punchlines or just one of the lines in the voice that you use.
Oh, you have jokes.
Yeah, it's punchlines.
Oh, yeah.
Set a punchline.
Set a punchline.
Mine started, I think, Big Cat, Big Balls.
Yeah, Big Cat's awesome.
Big Cat, Big Balls.
Big Balls.
Big Cat, Big Stacks with the big balls.
Who produced this?
There was a producer, a guy named Elijah.
Do it in your actual rap voice.
Big cat, big stacks, big balls.
It's so funny.
Addicted to the bank, I got withdrawals.
I wish I could hear PF.
I wish you guys could hear PFT
because it legitimately sounds like a complete different person.
It does not sound like him.
And he doesn't say it until right before.
He's like, all right, I'm about to change my voice.
Let's fucking get it, baby.
Oh, he's doing it like that.
His voice is like so...
Let's get it on.
He's got like aggression in his throat.
Yeah.
It's so funny.
Ja Rule.
I like thinking about the people...
Where would I be without my baby?
Who like find it on Spotify
and don't know. Pardon my take. Yeah. Like the song.
Yeah. Like I was looking at Drink Paints
got like 700,000. Yeah. It's like a legit
song. Yeah. Wow.
Yeah. Wow.
That's a certified. So you guys doing a music
video? Yeah, we will. We will
like in the probably. Yeah. Hopefully
the next couple of weeks and then we'll probably have Benny come
on the pod and then drop it. It'd be good. Nice. It's going to be fucking nice. I'm pumped for it. Yeah, hopefully the next couple weeks and then we'll probably have Benny come on the pod and then drop it.
It'd be good.
Nice.
It's going to be fucking...
Nice.
I'm pumped for this.
Again, it's the most out of my comfort zone
I get like once every two years
or once every year
when Ronan and PFT are like,
all right, let's do a song.
And I'm like, all right.
But how will this work financially, say,
like if there is money made?
I don't think there is any.
I mean, we... So if someone releases a song and gets a million plays, they get money, right? say if there is money made. I don't think there is any.
So if someone releases a song and gets a million plays,
they get money, right?
Spotify gives them $200. So how does that work
when there's like collaborate, oh, just $200?
I don't know how that works.
Spotify pays worse than you pay your
nurses.
Spotify, what is it, like
a cent for every thousand?
Like a half a cent. Yeah, they break down
Yeah sense. It will literally send you a half a penny. Yeah, the Uyghur
Muslim are building. Oh
What did you say Uyghur? Okay? Okay?
You're loud
We're building not hosting Jeopardy
No, no, no
Up on the thing. No, no, no. You need to have like a scale up on the thing.
Yeah.
Who's closest to hosting Jeopardy?
How close are we to hosting Jeopardy?
Yeah.
Those are the two spectrums.
Who's being a pussy and who's going to host Jeopardy?
So go ahead.
What were you going to say?
The ones who are indentured servitude building the World Cup stadiums in Qatar.
Yeah.
Bangladesh-y dudes.
They make more money.
Yes.
There's more in the moment.
And then most of them, like, don't a lot of them, like, die on the job?
Yeah, they're all in, they're just enslaved.
They took away their passports.
So if you put out a huge song, how do you make money?
Touring and, like, merch.
That's it?
Yeah.
I mean, some streaming platforms pay more than others.
I think you make music just so that someday you can launch like a tequila brand.
Yeah.
That's the goal, to have a drink.
I think SoundCloud pays well, don't they?
No.
SoundCloud pays nothing.
Literally, SoundCloud pays nothing.
Oh, really?
Yeah, that's the one that doesn't pay anything and anybody can get it on.
We're struggling artists.
So you were 100% wrong.
Yeah, I was.
I was.
Have another one of, oh, Sass is wrong. No, that's a waste of time. Or Dave's been wrong. Yeah. I wasn't. Have another one of Sass was wrong.
No, that's a waste of time.
Or days since Sass
has been wrong.
That's the only tally.
One day we should have
the entire screen covered
except like a little hole
and it's just a bunch of like
markers and tallies.
Seconds since Sass
has been wrong.
You're not wrong.
I'm never wrong.
So running scoreboard.
I was wrong there
at the SoundCloud.
That was the first time though. Ever. But you were right to admit that you were wrong. Yeah'm never wrong. So running scoreboard. I was wrong there. The SoundCloud, that was the first time, though.
Ever.
But you were right to admit that you were wrong.
Yeah.
You did miss with Addison Rae.
That was a miss.
That was not a miss.
That was a miss.
Addison Rae spoke out against the Taliban.
You said, why hasn't she?
Oh, she has.
She has.
I actually tweeted it, and then I went to her Instagram story, and literally it was
like the second one.
What did she say?
She was like, Taliban's bad. I hate say? She was like, Talbin's bad.
I hate him.
It was like an infograph on what's happening in fucking Afghanistan.
Oh, no.
Because she was tired of getting made fun of by you.
Yeah.
Probably.
She was getting bullied.
Should we have Coors Light this weekend?
Oh, yeah.
Why don't you read it?
I've been drinking them all week.
It's offensive that you're making me read this.
When we were in the studio and the dudes saw that,
when we were in the studio and we saw the dudes who had,
they knew that Big Cat and PFT were on the cans.
It blew their fucking mind.
It was awesome.
It was the best.
We should have done that right away.
He posted it to his own Instagram.
Yeah, because we were trying to get, like, credit.
You know, like, obviously not, we don't have any real cred,
but, like, like hey we actually are
decent at our own jobs and we should have just pulled out the can because it was like probably
hour four when they pulled out the can they're like what that's what did it the course right
yep 100 and uh yeah so when you need to slow down just open a core's light mountain cold
refreshment made to chill tastes great from core great from Coors Brewing Company in Golden, Colorado. Slow down and celebrate responsibly.
CoorsLight.com slash take.
I have one, Owen.
It's Friday then.
Yeah, you know what?
Today's the day.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah.
Today's the day.
Pass me a Coors Light.
They basically did an entire Coors Light ad without us even asking them to.
They were like, damn, these are so cold and refreshing.
They literally did that. Wait a minute. This mountain wasn't blue when we got them. No, they They were like, damn, these are so cold and refreshing. They literally did that.
Wait a minute.
This mountain wasn't blue
when we got them.
No, they actually were like,
what does it mean
if the mountains are blue?
Yeah.
Like, I'm not even...
Literally, it felt like
a scripted act.
Yes.
And it was just like
them talking.
KB, are you okay?
We came up with an idea
before you got here.
We're going to do a Friday
Russian roulette brownie.
One brownie.
One brownie has weed.
Six don't.
I have a cookie in the wrapper in my apartment on my nightstand.
And I want to take it just to prove to myself that I can.
Don't.
Please don't. Kyle, no.
Owen was like a break.
It's Owen's weekend, man.
I know I can.
All right, but are you okay with that?
Doing the brownie thing?
Yes, yes.
That was actually when we found out that Sass is the bigger pussy.
He took back the number one ranking.
He says you can overdose on weed.
He's like, no, I don't want to do it.
He said you can overdose on weed?
Yeah.
He said you can overdose on edibles.
Which is weed.
Yeah, but there's a difference.
What do you think, KB?
Do you think that you can overdose on weed?
I don't know.
I mean, it depends on how you define overdose.
I'd say probably yes, but not by the colloquial perception of overdose.
If you could overdose on anything, it'd be bong rips.
Every time I've ripped a bong, that would be the overdose.
Bong rips get me silly.
Dude, he's eating bong rips for dinner.
I know.
Shit.
Gravity bong.
Bro, I've definitely OD'd on a milky bong rip.
Uh-huh.
Bong rips is shit, boy.
I'll clear it for my boys.
Bong rips of straight tobacco is like the hardest drug in the world.
Yeah.
I did that when I was in ninth grade.
I would do it.
You literally like.
You just feel like you're going to throw up and like die at the same time.
Like how they used to have before like weed became legalized, you'd go into one of those
glass shops like for tobacco use only.
And I always thought there had to be one guy who actually took that real.
Like, yeah, I'm getting a new bong for my tobacco.
What about a drug draft where that's one of the things?
Oh, fuck.
A bong rip of tobacco or something like that.
So you draft the paraphernalia.
You draft the drug.
Yes.
And you draft the orifice you're taking.
Yeah.
There's a beer in a funnel. There's a beer in a funnel.
There's a beer in a funnel.
But you might have to inject that.
You might not be able to.
Would you die injecting beer?
Yes.
Anything carbonated.
There's acid in a Visine bottle.
Yeah.
Just got to put it in your eye ball.
Dana's got a butt chug Vicodin.
You just have to push them in like you're filling up a pen.
Coffee up your dick hole.
I like this.
That's a good idea.
Yeah.
Sounds dangerous.
That sounds real dangerous.
Oh, yeah.
This is New Jersey's coming out soon.
Oh, shit.
It's soft launch right now.
It's testing.
Next week, we should be live in New Jersey.
Very excited.
No KC in the picture? You're looking slim in that pic.
I think at a certain point you should just get everybody together to take a photo in suits rather than...
That's a lot of people.
Yeah, you're right.
Brandon's deep back there.
He's deep back.
Yeah.
Brando, shouldn't have taken so much time off.
Brandon gets whacked in the first episode.
For sure.
Who's in the Jeff cap over there on the right?
Why is Big Ev 311?
Oh, that's Ev?
Yeah.
Looks like Lil' C's.
That's a terrible Photoshop.
Like, everyone's...
Nothing's right.
And then they're like, we ran out of people.
Where do we put Marty?
Just put him.
That's fine.
Who did this Photoshop?
Get on the fuck in here.
Well, look at Ebony.
Well, that was me.
Was it you?
Oh, God.
I didn't get that job.
That's what I did.
You're good at that job.
I didn't apply to do that.
Fuck.
Photoshopping goofy shit for Dave.
You applied to be our chief Photoshopper?
I just applied to be a graphic designer.
Instead, you're stuck doing cringeworthy episodes.
Yeah, damn.
Who treats their underlings worse?
Dave with Kevin Bonner or KB with Owen?
Who is more domineering of their underlings?
Or Frank with you, Roan.
Oh, yeah.
That's number one.
When he fucking bosses you around.
I'm going to take sass.
Hey, Roan.
Hey, Roan. Hey, Roan.
Get over here, chap.
That's cute that you think he says that.
He just snaps now.
He's like, have you seen Roan?
He whistles for me like a dog.
All right.
That's good.
I was done with Snapchat.
Yeah, that was.
Frank, I actually have to face it.
That's the same person that just did the sportsbook graphic.
I think you should have to pin Frank.
I'm actually getting heated thinking about it.
Yeah?
One thing, like he did the walk-off, which is fine.
Oh, and then he walked by.
Then he did the walk-off.
Five minutes later, he did a walk-off joke.
We went like 15 minutes over.
And he expected us to follow him because we did that before, I guess.
And then five minutes later.
He's trying to replicate natural moments.
He walked back with disgust in his face that we're still doing the show.
And giving us like this.
Fleming, I love you, but I have to see him face to face.
Yeah, you're going to have to pin him. Feet to strength.
I'd watch that.
Wait, so what about your guy's trivia team, though?
It's turmoil. No. Yeah. Nick, watch that. Wait, so what about your guys' trivia team, though? It's turmoil.
No.
Yeah.
Nick, is that true?
I will not sabotage.
I will try to win, but I won't alley-oop.
You know what I heard?
I don't know if I'm allowed to say it, but I'll say it anyway.
The stool streams, when we bring back Jenga, I think there's going to be a little crossover.
So teams
means that you and I, unfortunately,
have to play Jenga
with Stephen Che.
The Stool Streams is now
dividing by dozen teams.
Why?
Why is everything dozen teaming?
Why?
Why?
I know.
Why?
I know.
Steven is definitely going to create a formula of what blocks we should pull.
And it'll be wrong.
That's the thing.
Steven's captioned yesterday on his tweet.
Oh, God.
What was it?
I missed it.
Can we pull it up?
Pull it up.
It's the Antonio Brown punch.
Oh, geez.
We can end the show with this. It took me 10 Antonio Brown punch. Oh, geez. We can end the show with this.
It took me 10 minutes to read.
Oh, God.
That was actually one.
Dude, I saw this.
You guys see the Billy football mincey experiment, which is going to be fantastic.
It's going to be great.
AB is buying the Titans DB's lunch at today's joint practice,
and knuckle sandwiches is the only thing on the menu.
And then he credited the photographer.
Yeah.
Why would you credit that?
So funny.
So I bring up Billy because that blog he wrote about the Mincy experiment, which is going to be fantastic.
One of the best comments was – someone was like, sometimes I feel like Billy is teaching me a new way to read.
Because he doesn't write, like all his sentences don't really make sense.
Yeah.
And so he's just forcing us all to learn a new language.
Yeah.
Can we pull up Billy's blog?
The first sentence of that took me a while.
Yeah.
And it's true.
Maybe he's teaching us a new way to read.
What is the gripe with it? Verb
agreement? Rambling? It was
just if an auctioneer had dyslexia.
KB, the second best writer
in the office?
No, blogging is not about
your grammatical skills
or your language skills
because you just
got to be entertaining and Billy is good.
Oh my god, he's a beast.
He's been fantastic.
A revelation.
I recently moved into an apartment next to a vacancy
that I share a balcony with.
Oh, no.
What?
Oh, man.
That's so good.
Scroll down.
He recently moved into an apartment next to a vacancy that I share about.
What part is true?
It's like two truths and a lie.
Keep scrolling.
I want to see.
Wait, right up there.
Go up there. Go up there.
Go up.
Right there.
When he says...
Oh, my God.
This is going to be so good.
He is...
Yeah, I now control Ben Mintz's diet and exercise.
So, basically, he is my pet.
Oh, my God.
I loved Mintz's poop tweet yesterday.
Yeah, that was great.
That was a real close-up on poop.
We were on shit.
Was it a pun?
Well, no, no.
It was just literal shit.
It was just a literal shit.
But what was the caption?
More like shit week.
So it was a pun.
Yeah, pick up my dog shit week.
Billy has, because Billy has a vacancy now filled by Mincy that he shares a balcony with,
that is Mincy, Mincy was taking care of Billy's dog all week, and he just, Billy's dog took
an enormous shit, and Mincy just posted it on Twitter.
And he was so close to it.
He was avant-garde.
I would have loved to see it.
He's so close it can't focus.
Take it off, take it off, take it off,'t focus. He's a macro. Take it off.
Take it off.
Take it off.
I imagine him pacing back
and forth in front of it.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Flap of the arms.
I got it crouched down.
Right up in there.
I got it. What's the poop in?
It looked like it was in just like a...
A kerchief.
Was it in a kerchief?
No, that was a kerchief.
He took off his bandana off his head.
He washed it.
He went home and washed the kerchief.
I'm just going to throw out the kerchief.
And this is gross.
I got to cross down to get right up in it.
I will admit it is gross.
Take it off.
Take it off.
We're going to lose you.
Also, why not like you could could throw the shit emoji over it
or take a picture from afar
or just insinuate that the poop is there.
But 90% of the screen being poop?
What type of time is he on?
Here he comes.
Should we get him in?
Mince.
Oh, he's giggling.
Stop giggling, you absolute giggle bucket. Get in here, Mince. he's giggling Oh yeah he's giggling Stop giggling You absolute giggle bucket
Get in here Mince
Oh he's firing
He's probably
Probably picked up some poop
Mince
Ben
Ben Mince
Come on in brother
Come in real quick
You could edit whatever
On his team
Yeah you could make him
Yeah
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince
Mince Mince Mince Mince Mince Mince Mince Mince Mince Mince mincy oh he's got to be going to the dead show tonight but before you get to that dead show
you need some goo balls he's about to be ballooned up we have a big big time tonight
this boy's gonna attack this are you taking big f so so stew feiner yeah he's got a sweet great
man who knows all the religions if there ever was was one. Stu Feiner. Had four tickets.
And basically, the best thing about Barstool is the unlikely combos.
Zah, me, and Ev.
Love it.
They've both never been to Dead.
Love it.
And I've definitely seen some Dead in my day.
But super excited.
I have not seen a Citi Field, my first big New York show, in the suite.
Vibes are high, baby.
Great for a runner.
Great for a runner.
Good job.
Now the poop.
Poop.
Let's talk about the poop real quick.
I am hitting the shakedown a lot before.
No, that's what we're talking about.
Not the mushrooms which grow on shit, but actually the picture of poop that you posted yesterday.
Oh, the poop picture.
Oh, yeah.
Well.
If anyone forgot, please take that off the screen.
I'm going to throw the fuck up.
Yeah, that was probably.
I mean, I knew people click on it.
That's shit posting.
You're shit posting.
I thought it was, you know, shit and grit, you know, rhyme.
Your camera was very close to the poop.
Yeah.
That was probably it.
How have you started?
Has Billy started training?
So Monday's training starts.
So is he going to – are you going to truly embrace it?
Oh, I mean, I'm going to take – I mean, it's creatine and protein and stuff.
I mean, he's going to give you everything.
Are you going to eat, though?
Like, you have to eat.
No, I have to eat healthy.
He controls your food.
You're his pet.
I want Billy to recreate that tweet with you.
Realistically, diet stuff,
it's all about accountability
and writing it down
and having a plan.
But is he going to feed you
like he feeds him?
Yeah.
Because you're a different
stage.
Well, we've got the good thing.
So we've got a big grill
or Billy has a big grill
and luckily for me,
I've got a kitchen table.
Well, no,
I've got a Cajun meat market
that was my first ever
radio sponsor
that was just going to send us
a ton of great meat. And also a kitchen table. I, no, I got a Cajun meat market that was my first ever radio sponsor that was just going to send us a ton of great meat.
And also a kitchen table.
I haven't gotten that yet.
Problem is that Billy has a squat rack in his kitchen,
and so it's perfect that Mincy moved into the vacancy with a balcony
because Mincy will have a table.
I haven't got the table yet, but I will.
Well, that's your part of your deal.
You've got to get the table.
Yeah, I'm getting the table. I'm going got the table yet, but I will. Well, that's your part of your deal. You've got to get the table. Yeah, I'm getting the table.
I'm going to get some awesome meats in our way.
Don't accidentally get a squat rack because Billy has a squat rack.
If you do that, everything will be fucked up.
The homeostasis, the balance, the quid pro quo.
I'm going to embrace it.
I think it's going to be fun.
I also just love the fact that Billy threw in a subtle excuse of why his numbers haven't been high
is because he's squatting
by himself in his kitchen
and he doesn't have anyone
to spot him.
But now he's got mince.
Are you talking about
just the blog numbers?
No, no, no.
His actual squatting.
He said,
he's like,
I haven't been able to max
because no one can spot me.
What is his max?
I don't know.
It's probably low right now.
What's your max?
I had the record
for my weight class.
54040 right?
355
Sheesh
Sheesh
Give us an ass to grasp bro
Show us
It's gonna take me a lot of squat
Give us a squat technique
I didn't have one
I just had really strong hips
Show us
In an ass
How do you keep the hip flexors loose?
Pop that ass
They're tight
They're not loose
Pop that ass for us
One cheek
It's gone
Boys
Pop it
We promise people twerk Just give us a pop One cheek. It's gone. Boys. Pop it.
We promised people twerk.
Just give us a pop.
One twerk.
Where's Big T?
Where is... Let him flap those nuts.
Just pop it.
Ben, have a beautiful time at the show, brother.
Big Cat, video from Deadlot.
Yay or nay?
Fire it, you think?
You think the stories will like it?
Wait, what'd you say?
Videos from Shakedown.
Some Deadlot videos.
Gotta go to Shakedown.
Embrace this, right?
Embrace this.
Yes, embrace.
Don't fish out, though, brother.
Off those balloons.
Nah, we're good on that.
On fishing out or the balloons?
That is like a common drug thing at dead shows.
The funniest thing, okay, I'll share this
because this is going to make people laugh.
So after shows, people sometimes have balloons out in these lots.
And the guys that sell them will run around being like, ice cold fatties.
Ice cold fatties.
Three for 20.
It's your birthday.
It's your birthday.
Ice fat balloons.
Yeah.
So I tried to incorporate that into one of y'all's PMT things when Matt Ryan threw all these interceptions.
I was like, he's throwing ice cold fatties out there.
But I think I missed.
That's okay.
You should do the videos, though.
Yes.
I don't know how shakedown will be at Citi Field.
It's mostly a huge – so Big Cat, you know the Noel of Dad?
Yeah.
He dropped his pin, and I'm going out to his tailgate.
Love it.
He's out hitting it, and he does great charts.
But, yeah, I'm going to go check it out, throw some videos up,
probably write a blog on the show and experience some more. Send me the stream link. Oh, I'm going to go check it out, throw some videos up, probably write a blog on the show
and experience some more.
Send me the stream link.
Oh, always.
I'm sending you all the stream links.
I know, but send it to me right away.
I want to watch tonight.
You got it, man.
Whatever you need.
Thank you all for having me.
Enjoy.
You deserve it.
Oh, I assure you.
Yeah.
Ice cold fatty.
Literally, diet starts Monday.
Ice cold fatty.
Ice cold fatty.
All right.
No eagles. No e right. No eagles.
No eagles.
No eagles.
He's the best guy in the whole world.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Everyone here next week?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's have a full week.
And Brandon will be back?
Yeah, I could say.
I think so, yeah.
Oh, he's coming.
He's running back.
He's running back.
He's got a computer for us.
We'll hang on to that computer
alright we'll see everyone next week
oh man
no deal It's your drug, yeah, style of tape. Who wants to act?
It's the act.
It's the act. Thank you.