The Yak - Big Cat Strikes a Deal to Get Brandon Tatted | The Yak 8-16-22
Episode Date: August 16, 2022The Mean Girl crossover episodeYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolya...k
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Whoa!
You got suns out, guns out Kyle today.
You look... so fucking good.
Handsome.
I was fucking, I was hammer krilling 40s like they were 25s.
Really?
Yeah.
All good.
He's got the chain on too.
Gave the 70 dumbbells vertigo, repping them out on the incline.
It kind of sucks when we started our podcast, I was the hot one and the funny one.
And now I'm neither.
Now I just play like the straight man and I just put balls on tees for Kyle.
You look, and the chain is popping.
Yeah.
Backwards hat.
I wasn't confident enough.
That's my chain
And I gave it to Kyle
Damn
Yeah
Life sucks
For me
Now if he took his shirt off
What would you say Steven?
To Kyle?
Yeah
How does he not know
How to do that yet?
I don't know why
I don't know
Unbelievable
Yeah
Again I
It was like that
I wouldn't say ooh.
We still can't hear you.
The mic's not on.
Oh, can you hear me now?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I didn't like your tweet today about the lawnmower guy.
What an outrageous tweet.
It's just crazy.
Put it up.
Put it up.
He was basically like, my lawnmower.
We'll see.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
How do I handle him?
A man in his private property. I thought this was America. Apparently, it'll see. It's crazy. It's crazy. How do I handle him? A man in his private property.
I thought this was America.
Apparently, it's not.
How would you deal with your older, out-of-shape neighbor continually mowing his lawn without
a shirt on?
I don't know.
Well, this is one of those tweets that will backfire.
Send anonymous letter was an actual choice?
Is this something that happened to you?
What are you going to say in the letter, Jay?
I do a column on Saturdays called Suburb Saturdays.
It's just people submit ideas of problems that they have.
Oh, that wasn't easy.
This doesn't happen to me.
Oh, okay.
A babysitter wasn't you either?
I don't agree with older people that are especially out of shape like mowing a lawn without a shirt on.
Why?
It's the best way to mow a lawn.
Wait, what?
Yeah, who cares?
You want grass all up in your neck?
Okay, so Brandon, I have seen your property.
Do you mow that lawn yourself with no shirt on?
I usually wear a shirt, but I have no problem going shirtless.
So if you were in Mississippi and you had a large property.
Oh, I would be shirtless all the time.
Okay, that's fair.
That's totally fine.
But if you live in a suburb where it's very close to each other and I saw your pale ass.
Steven, it's a man with a shirt off.
It's fine.
Yeah, what if he had a pool?
If you're on your own property, you can do whatever.
Shirtless right now.
This is a wild take.
You could also just not look.
Wait, so if he was.
I'm not repulsed by gross men.
I'm not turned on by hot men.
Wait, show the options again.
Show the options again.
The options should be don't look.
Put a sign on.
Do nothing. Do nothing should be don't look. Put a sign on. Do nothing. Do nothing should
be the jerk off no homo.
And like
do nothing again. What would the sign
say on his lawn? Put a sign
on his lawn. I didn't even see that.
What would the sign say? Drive and
honk and yell. You have to make a sign?
You must have missed the Barstool Sports main
tweet. Married guys aren't allowed to jerk off anymore.
Wait, what?
Oh, I saw that was from...
Per the mean girl.
Oh, that was a wild...
I did see that clip.
What was it?
Jordan was like, yeah, if your boyfriend or husband is jerking off to porn, I don't know.
It's like, what?
It's a gateway stroke to cheating.
Do you have a boyfriend or husband?
It's a gateway stroke to cheating.
It was basically like...
Can you play the clip?
Play the clip.
Play the clip.
It's an insane... It's an an insane the most out of touch would you rather it be a hunk cutting grass next to you
i good point your wife lust don't even worry about who's cutting the yard next to you how
about don't even you don't like i would assume all right here's for a man to masturbate since
i love it so much i personally wouldn't care if my partner did it.
Now, I think it would be a little bit of an issue if he was watching porn or masturbating to specific females.
I think you would have to be – we would have to have that conversation.
Because if he was masturbating to the same porn all the time, I would be like, bro, am I not doing it for you?
Right.
But I don't care if he's using his thoughts or my pictures pictures but yeah i'm an advocate of masturbation partner so i think
she was now that i'm watching it back maybe the porn wasn't the problem that she was more like
the specific females but i got a little news this one's different i'm actually indifferent on
masturbation when it comes to relationships when you're dating i I don't know. My husband and I never had that combo.
Now, in marriage, though,
that is where I feel some type of way,
but I have to say this, too.
This is insane.
The only reason I feel the way I feel about it
is because our marriage counselor said to Graham,
masturbation ends today.
The intimacy you guys have would be like
having sex together.
That's what it should be together like that's what it
should be so that's what i know that comment truly shaped your idea of masturbation i think if i
didn't hear that comment i don't know that i would have thought about it i think it might have come
up eventually where i would have been like okay hold on i i think i would have felt like okay i'm
your wife now like we're married when you're're masturbating, it's going to enter my head.
Who are you thinking about?
What are you thinking about?
No.
I hate it here.
No.
I hate everything about it.
This is true.
Is Graham doing semen retention for his wife's boxing match?
Oh, my God.
Brandon, go off, King.
I'm not going off.
I'll go off.
Here we go.
Here's something that Jordan and Alex should both know.
Their significant others are masturbating to porn.
They're also masturbating to the girls they've hooked up with in the past.
And the girls they didn't hook up with.
And girls probably do.
Kate, you could probably say maybe the same for you.
I don't know.
Oh, boy.
Guys have a spank bank in their brain that they access when
they can't watch porn and that spank bank is not your significant other i'll say this i think
they're both i don't know if jordan's in a relationship but they're alex is like in a newer
marriage kind of at this point i welcome it buddy go in. Spend an hour in there. I don't care what you watch.
Productive shower.
I don't care what you do.
Give me a break for a hot minute.
Buddy, go to town.
I don't care who you're thinking of.
Is Jordan here?
I'm more of a grizzled.
This is the wildest take of all time.
I don't know.
You come home from work and he's like, oh, just jacked off.
I don't know.
I would feel so slighted.
Yeah, so you can't use masturbation as a cop out to not be intimate with your partner.
Yes, you can.
I completely agree with that.
Like, I think I'm putting myself in these shoes.
I came home from work.
The one that I don't really give a fuck.
I would be devastated.
What?
Okay, what am I supposed to do now, bro?
You come home from work and you're like, oh, just jacked.
Devastated.
They had one clip that was like, is.
But everyday life rolls out like that.
Honey, I'm home.
Great.
I just beat off.
That was the most insane clip I've ever watched.
They had one that was like,
Is being tired an excuse to not have sex?
Yes.
And he was like,
I don't think you need an excuse.
Yeah.
You could just be like,
I don't want to fuck.
Yeah.
Right?
And then if they say no,
that's right.
What are you going to do?
Yeah, you need like a excuse
wait that hypothetical though she comes home and graham's like hey how was your day she's like
great how was your day he's like well i just beat off and then she and then she crumbles
she drops like the groceries to the floor she's a puddle also let me tell you let me tell you uh
if you're freshly married or whatever, if you're Alex or
if you're a wife, and you get home,
your husband is never, ever, ever, ever
going to say, I just beat off. He's never going
to tell you when he beat off. He's never
going to tell you the plan for beating off. He's just going to do
it in the shadows and enjoy his life.
I have so many questions
for Alex. What time does she
go to bed? If she goes to bed before
Graham, he beats off every night.
That's a fact.
That's a straight fact.
This theory of being like, oh, I don't want him to jerk off only works if he's masturbating on the sofa in the kitchen. Yeah, like while she's doing the dishes.
He's just like, keep fucking cleaning.
I'm jerking off.
Right.
If they're not using porn, you think they use their own podcast clips?
Good question.
Hey, are we off?
Are we way off, Kate?
I would say if I was on the way home and I was like, I'm fucking horned up.
Save it for me.
And then he jerked off.
Yeah, I guess that would be.
I would be a little bummed.
Yeah, that's fair.
That's fair.
Inversely, I would also say, I've been around town.
Okay, guys.
I've had some sex in my day.
Most of the time, we're the ones who have to do it after the guys fall asleep because
they don't know what the fuck's going on anyway.
Yeah, that's also true.
So I feel like, I don't know.
This is-
It's-
Who brought this up?
I haven't heard that.
Steven, did you bring this up to deflect off your fucking weird phobia?
Yeah, yeah.
You don't want to see shirtless men.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't bring it up to deflect.
I just thought it was a funny...
I would say, though, if Pat had like...
I don't know how I would know, but if he had like...
He wouldn't tell you.
He does.
Right, right.
He would never tell you.
What, a favorite porn star?
Yeah, maybe he has one.
Kate, I really...
I'm sorry.
This is like telling you Santa Claus.
It isn't real. Pat has a you Santa Claus. He's unreal.
Pat has a favorite porn star.
He's got a fucking spank bank.
That doesn't mean he doesn't love you, but that's just the fact.
Well, I have a favorite porn star.
Shout out Owen Gray, the weird tattoo guy.
But I don't know.
He lays it down.
But if he followed her on all social medias and was always liking her stuff.
Nope, he probably does.
No, but he's not commenting like, you look gorgeous today.
I see the guys I follow.
I don't understand the point of doing that right like oh i'm gonna like this porn stars photo i'm fucking hitting up that wish i don't understand like an instagram model's photo
why why would you do that because our instagram model's photo should have zero like here's why
because in our dumb caveman brains we're're like, I'm going to like this.
She's going to see that I like this.
She's going to look at my picture and be like, oh, I want to fuck this guy.
That's it?
Yes.
Really?
I stopped even doing that with someone with 500 followers.
Absolutely.
Why do you think every hot girl on Instagram is liked by Riggs and Glennie Balls?
And Spider.
And Spider.
Yeah.
The guys are trying to put in some...
We could go down the full list if we really want.
They're just trying to put in a little fucking, you know, work here and there.
I would understand if liking it, like, saved the photo, like, to a folder, but, like, I
don't understand the point of liking...
Like, I like to support my friends and like their shit.
Yeah.
I like the number.
I don't really...
I think Instagram, I like most posts that I see, no matter what they are.
Yeah, we keep scrolling.
Maybe I have way too hard of a take on it, but I feel like I'm speaking the most sense.
I just like it because they want to be like,
Glennie's hoping that the person sees it.
It's like, oh, Glennie Ball's verified.
Because it pops up, verified, ooh, nice.
I want to fuck this guy.
Glennie!
Glennie!
I think he has a big day of interviews too.
Glutty.
He's got business going on.
Leader in the wrong direction.
Let me lay out a hypothetical for you.
Keep talking to Mike.
Second floor.
Is this an OnlyFans girl?
Oh shit.
What?
Sorry.
Just come to the second floor.
I'm in a hurry.
Go to the lobby and get her.
Honey.
I would go introduce her.
Wait.
We should get the OnlyFans woman's hot on this.
Yes, we should get her, too.
We should get her thoughts.
No, no, no.
It's all right.
I have three girls coming in today.
I've got to be done.
Oh, so what?
We'll talk to one of them.
It's one question.
It's a very quick question.
Hot girl posts something on Instagram.
You like the photo.
I mean, you're in the back of your head
You're like maybe she sees it I liked it
And like hey she follows me
I'm like so numb to it that I like every picture
But yeah
That's the goal
That has never happened in the history of
What do you mean
That's like saying you could never win the lottery
I don't understand the point of liking an Instagram model's photo
Or is it encouraging them
Oh you mean like an Instagram model, Instagram model.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, there's no point.
There's no point.
But wait, there's no point.
You only say it once.
There's no point.
Wait, but in the back of your head, you're like, maybe.
Do you want me to get her?
Yeah.
Take the mic.
Yes.
Yes, please.
Oh, my.
We're kind of going from like the complete opposite sides of the spectrum here, though.
Yes, very true.
Why?
Why don't people say you shouldn't masturbate to asking this person?
A burden.
No, no, this is a question about the Instagram likes.
Okay, sorry, what's your name?
Brandy.
Brandy.
Brandy.
Brandy.
Hi.
Random dudes liking your posts on Instagram.
Like, do you ever just look like, oh, who's this guy?
What's his profile?
Yeah, all the time.
I'm telling you that guys are
liking photos because they're hoping in
a one in a billion chance, a girl
like Brandi's like, oh, who's this guy?
Make sure you got a good profile.
Yes. Thank you.
Thank you. Good talking.
I'm not saying it makes sense.
I'm saying it's like playing the lottery.
You're not going to win the lottery, but you might.
So it's entering your name.
Right.
It's a one in a fucking $10 million lottery.
So is that why guys...
I need to clean up my Instagram grid.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
It's got to have a better profile.
It's got to have a better profile.
Oh, yeah, okay.
That also implies that you're valuing their pussies at like, what, a billion dollars?
Mm-hmm. I've never put the money on it.
If it's a lottery.
Seems like it checks out.
Yeah, I mean, maybe I'm going too harsh, but I feel like everything I've said is making a lot of sense.
It makes sense to a majority of people, but I think there are people out there, like depending on, I don't know, like religion or some shit, where you're just like, I don't mind.
Yeah, those people are weirdos.
I mean, it's like a thing that some people do, right?
Some people just don't masturbate.
Right.
Can you pull up the-
The whole subreddit, NoFap.
It's hilarious.
Josh McCown video, one of my favorite videos of all time.
I love Josh McCown.
He did like a PSA for not jerking off and it's one of the best analogies ever.
God, I've never seen that one.
A lot of people actually do. I might have seen it, just don't know.
Semen retention. Yeah, what is it for?
You think it's just like
boosts your testosterone and stuff?
Doesn't your sperm just die every 48 hours?
Why don't you send me some eugenics?
By the way, that was very funny.
That was very funny showing the Yak chat there because they all
agree with me, I'm sure, because
they're like, yeah, I'm liking these photos.
And Brandy just confirmed
that keep shooting your shot.
I don't think I'm horny enough.
No.
No, I'm not even.
I've been saying that about you.
Yeah, you have since I met you.
Me and you, Sass.
We got a low T.
I can see how semen retention would work,
at least as an energy boost
because when you're horny,
the definition of arousal is excitement and like energy yeah and then after you bust horny you are the like
you're not gonna like fall asleep on the spot you're gonna have energy they say it helps with
like uh like anxiety there's like a bunch of shit like like semen retention we should do it
yeah add it to the wheels yeah we. We have weak and retention on the wheel.
Very different for God over here.
Oh, the Josh.
So I was flying to St. Louis to actually meet up with Craig to do a
point and pancakes there and to share my story.
And we landed.
And when we landed, you know, the boom comes on and the lady comes on
and she says, welcome to Detroit.
And everybody, you know,
immediately their heads pop up and everybody's going, what? You know, and and, you know, everybody
kind of laughs. She says, excuse me, St. Louis, you know, and so we all kind of had a laugh. But
what it revealed to me was that that's what porn is a lot like. You go somewhere that you weren't
expected to go and you end up with that feeling of, what? Where am I?
And I can tell you countless times that I've sat at my computer
looking at something, going through websites before,
and sitting there going, wait, where am I?
Who is this guy?
And if you're not careful,
you'll end up being somewhere where you don't want to be.
The real PSA here is make sure that you're ready to click out
the minute you nut.
Yes.
That's the PSA here is make sure that you're ready to click out the minute you nut. Yes. That's the PSA.
Yeah, I think also the post-nut comes with you just haven't jerked off enough.
Yeah, no, but it's like—
I don't get that at all.
If you nut—
There's no shame.
And it's still playing, you're always going to be like, what am I watching?
Just get—you've got to do nut, click out at the same time.
I saw—I forget the name of the comedian,
but he was saying like the saddest part of when you,
like after you nut in the porn is when the screen goes black
and you see your own reflection for a second.
You're like, oh no.
The porn should have like what table saws have,
and as soon as there's moisture in the air,
it just closes out.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
Great idea.
I don't really understand like the preachiness of like, I just don't care.
Why would you care about if someone else is watching porn?
It makes no sense.
There's so many people who are hardcore like.
I know someone who was donating their money to anti-porn stuff.
Their hard-earned money was going to anti-porn.
Anyone that's like that, they've probably had severe porn addictions and assume that every other person is like that.
I think that's also the people who are very vocal anti-sex trafficking, which is very like, that's just catching such an easy win.
Who isn't against sex trafficking?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's true.
This is a big, and I'm sure it is a big problem, but it's also like, you're dunking on a four foot hoop.
Yeah. And you're like, we a four-foot hoop. Yeah.
And you're like, we shouldn't have sex trafficking.
Like, yeah.
I wonder if there is anyone who's like, what?
Oh, there is.
People that are doing it.
Yeah.
I ask if they're pro or anti-AIDS.
I'm anti.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
Just catching an easy dub.
I randomly started that this weekend.
Fantastic.
That's really good.
Such a good show dude I
just last night I saw
a porn ad
like a virtual porn ad
that was so ridiculous
I screenshot it
what was it?
I screen recorded it
what is it?
you can hear your audio
if you screen record
the audio doesn't really do it
you gotta watch
dude
yeah if your microphone
picked up your like
heavy breathing
how do I skip ads
this one was funny
what could this be
I was really laughing
I got one of like
a girl sucking her guy's feet
and she got like covered in mud
it was a game
those game ads are crazy
super weird is that your phone playing it covered in mud. It was a game. I didn't get that. Oh, those game ads are crazy. Those game ads are insane. Super weird.
Always like a girl who's playing.
Oh, is that your phone playing it?
Yeah, just the music.
It's cool music, but it's cool music.
Isn't there a guy who's running in Ohio for Congress or Senate, and one of his stances
is anti-porn?
It's like, good luck, buddy.
Oh, yeah.
That's not going to work.
Yeah.
You cannot take my porn from me. No. That get me into politics come and take it yeah i think
there are a surprising amount of people who are anti-porn but that would get me that would for
the first time in my life i'd be like politically motivated to like go out and like pick it you
can't take my porn like yeah you could do anything else you want but porn no do not do you can do anything else you want, but porn? No.
Do not do.
You can give me all the vaccines.
I don't give a fuck.
Isn't their podcast sponsored by OnlyFans?
Oh.
Yeah, wait.
And aren't they on?
They are OnlyFans sex workers. Does Jordan know that guys are jerking off to her OnlyFans,
or has she not put that together yet?
There's a guy in a relationship who's jerking off to her OnlyFans or has she not put that together yet? There's a guy in a relationship
who's jerking off to
Jordan
while there's significant
others like, what are you doing in the bathroom?
Think anybody's ever jerked off to you, Big Cat?
No. Yeah, buddy.
You're a gay icon.
You might have a daily out there.
You have the salt and pepper thing going.
I think guys are into.
I had a stalker for a little bit in Chicago.
She probably did.
Oh, yeah.
I was talking about he's.
I was talking about he's.
He's?
He definitely had he's.
Oh, shit, he's?
Who?
I just watched the John Cena belly button clip over and over again.
Oh, yeah, probably, yeah.
Should we ask Joey?
Joey's definitely jerked off.
Joey's jerked off.
I think he has.
I think someone's jerked off to all of us.
I think this is the uncomfortable conversation you have to have in every work place.
It's true.
There's some Yak fan out there probably cranking down right now.
If you jerk off to every single one of us, we'll give you the last coin.
Oh, wow.
Wouldn't that be great, though?
You can prove it.
It seems totally worth it, yeah.
Crazy that you're here.
If every office in America had, like, truth serum,
and you had to walk around with a badge
of who you've jerked off to in your office,
the results would be shocking.
Stephen Chay's just all over the board.
Just spraying.
Men, women.
Yeah, everything.
Just do fine.
Just walk over to the poster board.
That day that Erica brought her dog in.
I don't have the creativity to beat off to a thought.
Really?
T-H-O-U-G-H-T.
Oh.
I will say it's like a slippery slope.
Because in the beginning, it's like normal stuff
like it takes
like when you're in high school
and there's like a boob
in your book
and you're like
whoa whatever
oh yeah
you're like whoa
but then it's like
takes more and more and more
and I do feel like
if you're a super porn person
you probably get into
some weird fucking rabbit holes
for sure
yeah
I think you have to take
tolerance points
it's like anything else
yeah yeah yeah
you gotta take breaks
sometimes I feel like
yeah
we used to do a bit on PMT asking guests what their first boob was.
What was the first boob they saw?
Which was, it never really translated.
It got very uncomfortable.
Real life or like movies?
Oh, movies.
I think mine was Titanic.
Why would that make them uncomfortable?
If you're like, what was the first boob you saw?
To like, I don't know, Peyton Manning?
Yeah, I guess
Those soft ass athletes
Can't talk about the real shit
It was 16 Candles
John Hughes film with Molly Ringwald in them
It was a shower scene in the locker room
Yep
Also what was the space movie
Fuck
That might have been Revenge of the Nerds
Oh that's a good one
That's not a good one That's not a good one.
Yeah, that's not a good one, actually.
Oh, there's... Let's rape.
There's hardcore raping.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
I might have been Airplane.
Airplane?
Oh, yeah.
What was the movie called?
Vampire's Kiss?
I think Nick Cage was in it.
Caddyshack.
Oh, Vampire Titty.
Oh, Caddyshack.
What was the space...
Caddyshack has some good titties, too.
Space Force, Space...
Spaceballs.
Spaceballs. Starship Troopers. Starship Troopers. Yeah, that has... You were way too oldack has some good titties, too. Space Force, Space... Space Balls. Space Balls.
Starship Troopers.
Starship Troopers.
Yeah, that has...
You were way too old for that.
Soldier titties.
That's not your first one.
No, that wasn't, but I just remember that was a titty.
Yeah.
Because there was that age where you weren't able to access video porn.
You could look at a Playboy, but...
I've heard of Star Wars.
...anytime you saw it on...
Moving Titty.
Yeah, Moving Titties.
Moving Titty.
Alive titties were incredible i think
yeah usually you see your first titty in print and then you see your first moving titty about
three years later yeah or howard stern when he would blur out the titties but he'd be like you
know what's behind that blur yeah that's titties well remember way back in the day this i was i
grew up i was born in 86 and we still had the knob
turned TV but you would get that
fuzzy channel. You could see
the outline of something and you'd be like
what is that? Or just the Girls Gone
Wild commercial. Oh yeah.
It was censored but
you could see her bare titty in the reflection
of a window. Brooke Burke
E Gone Wild
at like 11, 12 o'clock she just had titties. This is. Brooke Burke, E Gone Wild, like at like 11, you know, 12 o'clock.
She just had titties.
This is like a 12, 13 year old
boy. It's just like... Take what you can get.
A watch. I have a memory
watching a Girls Gone
Wild commercial while sleeping at the foot of my
bed. The foot of my parents' bed, like a
dog. So that seems like a weird overlap.
That is a weird one. I was horny, but also
still needed to sleep with them. I was scared.
I just don't want to be alone tonight.
I'm almost like,
wait, what?
If I don't mind,
I'm going to look at some titties too.
Oh, you've been quiet.
Have you ever seen a titty before, bro?
Yeah, I downloaded Aria on LimeWire,
waited like 12 hours
just to see Elizabeth Hurley's butt and breasts.
Worth it, yeah.
My video iPod, yeah.
Elizabeth Hurley.
She's still doing good.
She's had an array of films showing nudity.
None good.
I don't even think I could put a name to a face.
No relation to Hurley.
Austin Powers.
Austin Powers. Oh, wow. relation to her. Austin Powers.
No tits in Austin Powers.
But she was more sexual.
That was definitely a movie I jerked off to as a kid.
Any movie with... Fembots?
Yeah, the Fembots.
Any movie that had any type of...
Eurotrip just had a sex scene in a
confessional at the Vatican.
American Pie was the greatest movie ever.
American Pie 2.
Yeah.
She's been professionally hot for like 30 years.
Every movie in the early 2000s or even late 90s started with like a peeping Tom.
No, actually every movie since Animal House started with a peeping Tom.
Yeah, pretty much.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Huh.
Huh.
I might just go old school.
Yeah, we should do.
I might go watch Awesome Powers and jerk off.
We should have cold opens for the act of just like bear shaking titties.
I'm not anti-porn, but I think it should be harder to access.
What happened to creativity?
I couldn't disagree more.
You think you should have more available?
Yeah, that's a bad take.
Mike Myers made me so horny
I don't know what it was
it wasn't like gay
influenced
I think the fact that he was like a sex icon
just made me horny by association
he had sexual energy around him
he's not an attractive man
gross
you think it was something with the fact that he kept on saying,
are you horny?
Yeah.
That was it.
That's all it took.
Sometimes the grossest people ooze the most sexuality.
Oh, yeah.
When it comes to porn for me.
Sarah J.'s entire career.
Oh, yeah.
How?
She was getting fucked.
She needs to be getting fucked.
That's her thing.
That's her calling card.
I really want to talk to Alex or Jordan,
but it also might be embarrassing for them to break it down.
I don't think Jordan was anti-porn across the board.
I think she said if it was a specific woman.
And unfortunately...
I don't know what that means, but... That is the board. I think she said if it was a specific woman. And unfortunately I don't know what that means but
that is the case. Like there is
everyone she's ever dated
has at least a few
specific women they think about from time to
time. But also isn't she that specific
woman for like 3,000 people?
For a lot. I would say any woman is a
subscriber. I'm saying.
Probably more. I mean ones that don't
pay are the ones that
Anyone ever jerked off to Mother Teresaesa oh yeah i think there's if they're
everybody's jerked off to everything yeah you're never going to be the first yeah get over it
i wish when you got to heaven you got your number like here's how many people jerked off yeah that
would be cool wow you got teared what would you want that number to be, Kate?
Then what happens?
Go over to Ed Katie Money Grab.
You've got to be careful because you're going to be getting some tributes coming your way.
But then, Kate, how would that work for a porn star that dies?
Because, like, I should be going to hell.
There's a couple that I'm still doing numbers on.
Their number hasn't stopped ticking. Hell is just not getting your number.
It's the exact same as heaven, just no number.
That was a great moral debate when August Ames died.
Yeah.
Skylar Styles as well.
Like, how long should we grieve?
I promise you there were guys out there who genuinely, not in a funny way, were like,
this one's for you.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Who like, took off in her memory.
Yeah.
The day that she died being like
man one last night yeah yeah that definitely happened crying yeah there's a lot of sickos
out there yeah there really are here though i do think i like goofball i think porn can have a
gateway to sicko oh yeah people that get way too into like the weird shit People turn into a weirdo if they get way too into anything.
Correct.
It's true.
See, I think there's KB has the theory that if you have no vices, you're a pedophile,
is what he said, right?
Yeah.
And it's true, I guess.
Yeah.
Better them jerking off to weird shit than being a weirdo in real life.
That's hard knocks.
Like four or five years ago when they did the Falcons, Brian Cox was like, can't trust
a man without a vice
as he's like drinking and smoking a cigar.
And it's like, yeah.
It's true.
You got no vices?
You need a vice.
And you don't drink or smoke, do you?
Oh, no.
You gamble?
Brandon has his chick filet.
You gamble.
You gamble.
It's a vice.
I think anything can be like your chick filet is a vice.
Yeah, no, you eat like shit.
That's a vice.
No.
Okay.
That's fine. You're constantly just shoving your face. Yeah,A is a vice. Yeah, no, you eat like shit. That's a vice. No. Lettany. Okay, that's fine.
Lettany's definitely. You're constantly just shoving your face.
Yeah, that's a vice.
Being mean to people is a vice.
Yeah, being grumpy.
Not being mean to people.
Being mean to producers is a big time vice of yours.
I am the same as you.
That's a myth.
That's a myth.
Yeah.
That's a myth.
Stand up for you, TJ.
No, no, we're not doing that.
It's a myth.
Being jealous is a vice. Jealousy of Ben Mintz. I'm not doing that shit. That's a vice. I're not doing that. It's a myth.
Jealous is a vice.
Jealousy of Ben Mintz?
I'm not doing that shit. That's a vice.
I'm not doing that shit.
No, no, no.
Y'all have created the most egotistical monster in this fucking world.
Oh, we created that?
Yes, you did.
We created that?
Who did?
You did.
I think that was Spawn.
I think he was born that way.
Y'all created it.
He believes y'all.
It's not a choice for Ben Mintz.
He believes.
I will say you're right.
He does.
He absolutely believes.
I had a weird.
He created his own Facebook group and texted it to people.
Me and Mincy had a weird moment yesterday.
I tweeted that when I was in Atlanta.
Could have just said you had a moment.
Yeah.
I tweeted.
I said I had 10 people come up to me and asked if I know Mincy when I was in Georgia.
And he asked me if that actually happened.
And I was like, I didn't know what to say.
So I said yes, it did.
And did it?
No.
Oh.
I thought it was a very obvious.
Is Georgia Mincy's territory now?
South.
South.
Anything below the Mason-Dixon line, that's a lot to work with.
It's a large portion of the country.
They should actually redo the song Dixieland Delight. It's a large portion of the country. They should actually redo the song Dixieland Delight.
That's a large portion of the world.
Dixieland Delight.
Remake that song.
No, go ahead.
Just keep doing it.
Keep fucking doing it.
What is this, a threat?
No, it's not a threat for me.
I'm just saying you're creating something you're not going to be able to control.
I don't really see what worst able to control. He's already He's already
I don't really see
what worst case scenario is.
He's happy.
He gets poached
by draft pins
for eight million dollars.
Satisfied with his life.
He believes it.
He should.
He thinks it's
all non-ironic.
It isn't.
Okay.
Brandon
the king of the south.
Why don't you be
why don't you tell him
tell him how it is
tell him as it is Tell him as it is
And then he's like, Brandon's wrong, I'm right
And then you're miserable
I'm not miserable
I feel like I'm doing fine
You're living in Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Yeah
It is not going well
This is your third home this month
Worst summer of my life Has it really been? Yeah, it has It is not going well. This is your third home this month.
Worst summer of my life.
Has it really been?
Yeah, it has.
It's been a song. It's thriving.
Okay.
All right.
Wait, what's so bad about Point Pleasant?
The fact that this actually bothers you is so insane.
No, I'm trying to get out of it.
I'm like, no, I nothing this.
You brought it up.
He brought it up.
I nothing this. Oh, you he brought it up i nothing this
you did bring it up yeah no shit i nothing this this is this is nothing there how can you nothing
the king of the south it's literally the king this is your nadoo like this is like i've not
thrown anything at anybody i've not reacted i'm i'm fine that's because you haven't won the egg
bowl yet that's i'd much rather yeah that the game bothers me but i don't
what's happening god damn it do you think mississippi state can win the egg bowl this
year i do very much do that would be nice for you you'd get some nice egg tosses at them
no i'm gonna change it i don't want to do the egg toss what do you mean you want to do not
interesting it's very interesting and it's it's not't want to do the egg toss. What do you mean? What do you want to do? Not interesting.
It's very interesting.
It's not.
I want to do something else.
I got other ideas.
Dunk tank into egg yolk?
Yeah.
Something like that.
Cool.
It's not a goo.
Good idea, Brando.
The eggs you think you would need. It's not a goo.
Infant swimming pool that he has to sit in for an hour.
You know, something like that.
Okay.
Okay.
I like that.
I like it, too. An infant swimming pool of egg yolk that. Okay. I like that. I like it too.
An infant swimming pool of egg yolk would be funny.
You put breadcrumbs on them, make them
tender. Then we fry you.
Fry you. Yeah, fry him.
Feed you all for days.
You would.
I don't know if I'd eat you.
Fat is flavor.
It is.
No one likes that much white meat.
You ever had a good ribeye?
Marbling throughout that bitch.
Yeah, what kind of steaks would we be?
Please subscribe to the Yak.
Tomorrow's the Yak 100K subscribe-a-thon.
Everyone's bringing one thing.
Oh, shit.
Yes.
Yeah.
What are we at?
One party thing.
We are at 98908. Oh, shit. Yes. Okay, yeah. What are we at? One party thing.
It's right there.
We are at 98908.
And we're pushing tattoos to our 12-hour stream.
So everybody can get one.
I'm going to get a tattoo. Every which one of you.
I believe.
I think I'm finally going to fucking suck it up and do it.
Do we have to get tattoos?
No.
Yeah, I'm not going to get one.
I might get a small Easter egg hidden in my other tattoo.
Okay.
Oh.
Something fun to mix it up.
What about you?
I know your mom's freaking out right now.
Like an outcast.
You just sent me a black thumbs down.
I would get like a cool wrap tattoo.
A wrap tattoo?
Where would you get one?
An outcast tattoo?
What would you get for an outcast tattoo?
I know what you would get.
What would I get?
3K.
Alright.
How much would I have to pay you to get a Mincy King of the South tattoo?
One million dollars.
Okay. And happy that we
know the number. Would you do it for
one million dollars?
Yeah. I sure would.
What about $500,000 cash?
$500,000 cash?
How big is a tattoo?
Let's say like this big.
Like Chase.
Where?
It has to be a visible spot.
For $500,000 cash, would I get a Mincy King of the South tattoo?
It has to be a visible spot.
Cash.
Cash.
Mincy has to be.
That was great negotiating by me.
I just went from a million to 500,000.
About three.
Who is deliberating 500,000?
Yeah, 500,000, yes.
350 cash?
No.
Cash.
If we brought the cash in right now.
It's a big 350 cash.
I don't think negotiation doesn't go this way.
We've already, I mean, I already have did.
Let's be real.
It's 100K, your mental number.
Yes.
No, it's not. It is. My mental number was. It's 100K, your mental number. Yes. It's not.
It is.
My mental number was.
Last and final offer.
My mental number was a million.
I could probably raise 350.
If we brought in a hundred.
500K.
500K.
350 cash, you wouldn't do it.
500K.
Oh, you got him.
I can raise.
It's a 70.
That pause was.
That was the loudest silence in the whole world.
500K. I can raise $350,000.
And he puts it in a suitcase.
Shake my hand at $350,000.
Yes.
Brandon.
Yes.
Kids are going to have to look at that.
They'll love it.
Yeah, in their nice-ass house and car that I can just pay off and be done with everything.
They'll just be like, Daddy, is it true he's the king of the south?
Then what are you going to say?
I just went against my negotiation
right there.
I'm going to say yes. $350,000 cash.
I will get the cash.
$350,000.
Get a mincey king of the south
tattoo. Yeah, I'll work on getting the cash.
Oh, man.
$350,000? $350,000.
$350,000.
So, Brandon, you know if you do this, if you shake that hand, the cash will appear.
It will happen.
This is stupid.
What are you doing?
I can't believe you're even debating this.
You think this is just to shake his hand?
$350,000?
Cash? Yeah, for a tattoo? $350,000? Ash?
Yeah, for a tattoo.
$3,500, I'm in.
People have tattoos on their face that they...
I don't like tattoos.
I don't want tattoos.
Right, but you want...
I don't want to live my life with a tattoo.
$350,000.
You will get it and forget about it.
Think about how obsessed with money you are.
Right.
That's a shit ton of money.
That's a lot of money.
Brandon, I wouldn't be able to tweet or do anything else. Brandon, you can get cover-up makeup. You can do all sorts of stuff. That's a lot of money. I wouldn't be able to tweet. Take the deal away.
Brandon, you can get cover-up makeup.
You can do all sorts of stuff.
Oh, Brandon.
Yeah!
Oh!
That is not your L.
$350 is hefty.
Steven, go into my desk drawer.
Grab my $300 cash, please.
There has to be a no tattoo removal clause, of course.
Yes.
Shut the fuck up.
I will.
I am.
I don't know how apostrophes work.
You could have it for a year, and then you can get a bigger tattoo over top.
I'm going to move around some finances.
I would take a DeMarini to Mintz's kneecap for $250,000.
I'll have $350,000. Swing as hard as I could.
I would get most.
Then I would be like, hey, I'm sorry, but I'll give you half afterwards.
Half?
I bet you could give him like two grand and just be like, sorry.
Yeah.
This is a good number because I'm actually thinking in my head like.
Are you going to make this happen?
What does it mean?
Yeah, maybe.
Move some things around.
You can't live up to your end of the park.
Sell some assets.
No, it's a lifetime offer.
Damn, we got $350 to play around with?
I don't, but I'm thinking about like one of my kids doesn't have to go to school.
Learning a trade.
Both of them.
If one of them is smart, the other one could be dumb.
Yeah.
I mean, in all honesty, your kid will probably be an internet star who doesn't need college.
That's true.
TikTok.
I got you down from $1 million to $350,000 fast, boy.
Yeah.
I can't wait for Barstool to start having some nepotism.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That would be, yeah.
We're the largest kids, yeah.
I meant to send you all a picture.
Tommy's growing out a mullet.
Oh, hell yeah.
Hey, do Tommy Walker dance. Tommy's growing out a mullet oh hell yeah hey dude tommy walker
tommy's growing out a mullet and uh i said last night i said tommy i think you ought to get a
haircut and he's legitimately i swear to god he said he said dad if i'm gonna be on camera i want
a mullet yes fuck yeah i know his content and so i'm like uh i'll see my wife will send me a picture
i meant to take a picture last night but it's coming in pretty decently i'm surprised your
family their hair just doesn't naturally grow that way. It does.
We have to play defense against it a lot.
DJ, what's the slush fund at?
I think it's like
$9,300.
So if we did
35 more episodes of whatnot?
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
Possible.
I think Jordan and Alex just walked back.
Oh, no. We should get Alex and. I think Jordan and Alex just walked by. Oh, no.
We should get the Alex and Doug's in for Rough and Rowdy.
Yeah, we should.
It's one episode in Mean Girls sales.
Yeah.
We should just ask them to raise it for us.
Can you do Shady Rays?
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That was really good, man.
Sometimes you just gotta remind yourself
that, hey, I can read.
I came up with a good slogan for them.
Let's hear it.
It's Shady Rays, baby.
Oh!
Dude, I feel like that's perfect. It is. You couldn't just plug any company name in. No,ays, baby. Oh. Good. Dude, I feel like that's perfect.
It is.
Yeah, that is.
You couldn't just plug any company name.
No, no, no.
It's got to be Shady Rays.
You're pretty good at this.
If I give you another company, can you think of a slogan for me?
No, because it just works.
I think you could.
It just works with Shady Rays.
Head on down to Shady Rays.
Ooh.
It's Shady Rays, baby.
Ooh.
Nice. Randy just went and tried to call his taxays. Ooh. It's Shady Rays, baby. Ooh. Nice.
Randy just went and tried to call his tax attorney.
Yeah.
Got a lot of money coming in.
A lot of money coming in.
Yeah, get ready.
Everything's about to change.
Jordan.
Yes.
We watched your clip.
We have some bad news for you.
What clip?
About masturbation.
They're very upset.
Oh. No, not upset. Just have hard truths for you. What clip? About masturbation. They're very upset. Oh.
No, not upset.
Just have hard truths for you.
Charterwood.
Woodruff woman.
Love that.
We have some hard truths for you.
Okay.
Before you say anything.
Okay.
You need to listen to the full episode because I'm the opposing side.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
So then maybe you're the.
Yeah.
So maybe Alex is the one we need to talk to.
But I was going to say every guy you've ever been in a relationship does have a spank bank.
No, I'm pro masturbation.
Okay, all right, so then we're good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alex and her husband don't masturbate.
I'm pro masturbation.
It has to be to you in the relationship.
If I'm in a relationship, are they okay to masturbate?
It has to be to the partner, not a porn or...
No.
You guys got to listen to the full episode.
Okay, all right.
That's good.
Give us one bullet point.
What we were saying is we wouldn't be okay
if my boyfriend's like, no, I never would do that,
but then I walk in on him one day
and he's jacking off to some porn star.
I'd be like, bro, what's going on?
But if he's like, hey, this is what I like to watch,
I'd be like, okay, cool, this is what I like
to watch. We're good. As long as there's honesty.
That's all we can say. Do you really say, bro, what's going on?
Because you pretty much know. I mean, even if he tells you what he's
doing, he's not showing you everything.
I think that's an acceptable lie.
He's just embarrassed.
No one wants to tell you what
type of porn. There's no book
clubs for porn. You can know what type of porn. There's no book clubs for porn.
You can know what kind of porn I watch.
As soon as I...
It leaves my brain instantly.
No idea.
I've not had this conversation in five years, though.
Yeah.
To be fair.
But it also...
I think the conversation is just a mutual silence of honesty.
No one should tell you like I like this
they just you know that they like that
you know they watch porn
in some relationships
in all
they don't just have one spank bank they have
like several for different movies yeah they have
files and files in their head
and then they have the internet
Cassidy, Tyra it goes forever
oh I believe it.
I mean, so do females.
Exactly.
I feel like they're forgetting that we got them.
Absolutely.
I know.
I'm like, we have them too.
I have a strength thing.
I would never be like, oh my God, how could, like, that's completely normal.
But that's the point of the clip is it gets people talking, but if you listen to the full
episode, you're like, oh wait, they talk about it so much more.
Got us talking. Yeah. All right. so we have a gripe with alex
yes you you guys got to talk to her i go get her i'm gonna go get her if you don't mind no not at
all jordan also one other thing that we brought up that might be awkward just to say out loud but
you're only fans you know there are men on the other end of that.
Yes, I'm aware, and they're paying me some great money.
And they're jerking off, too.
That's fine.
Okay, all right, good, good, good, all right, great.
$30, you may.
Yeah, this is an easy conversation.
All right, I just wanted to make sure that, like,
they aren't just, you know, we like Jordan.
No, I've gotten some interesting pictures.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
I don't want to hear that.
That is weird when a guy's like, here's my dick.
Now can we fuck?
Remember when you first got to Barstool and we did the video about Jason Derulo blocking me
and you didn't want me to say the word penis on the video?
Life comes at you fast.
No, this place changes you, Nick.
Yeah, I guess so. Golly. New York changes you. Shout out your place Changes you Nick Yeah I guess so
Golly
New York changes you
Shout out your OnlyFans
Nick you're just like
When I met you
J-O-R-D-Y-N
How it's spelled
You're the guy I met
You know
How often are you posting
What is your
You know
Kyle
Kyle's away
I try to post twice a day
Oh you are doing a
Yes
You're active
Twice a day Well yeah I'm not doing a... Yes. You're active. Twice a day.
Well, yeah, I'm not going to rip people off.
And the second one on last Thursday,
the one that you posted later than usual,
was there a hidden subliminal message to that?
Because I didn't understand what you were going for.
I do not want to imagine
you having my subscription.
Yeah, well.
All right, Alex.
If you were doing that right now.
Hey, Alex.
Hi, Big Cat.
Dudes jerk off.
Yes.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
That's what they want to talk to you about.
Not all of them.
No, they all do.
All of them.
And they jerk off to porn. And they jerk off to porn and they jerk
off to old girlfriends and old hookups.
They do it all. Nobody's telling you, right?
Yes. Okay. Why do you
all seem so shocked it's coming up? You put out a
full episode. Yeah. We're not shocked.
It's why we did it, of course.
Right, but I just wanted you to know
We actually edited this. Yeah.
Like, I don't want to speak for your husband
but he is too. Yeah, I know. Okay, alright, good. Yeah, no, we're good want to speak for your husband, but he is too.
Yeah, I know.
Okay.
All right.
Good.
No, we're good.
I'm good.
All right.
Internet wins.
All right.
Did you get a lot of people being like, what?
Are you guys are crazy?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But that was.
It was a crazy take.
Of course.
Yeah.
It would be boring if I was like, well, let me tell you what we all know.
Yeah, that's true.
That's like less exciting.
Wouldn't we all say we wouldn't be talking about this. Gaslit the Internet. Yeah, that's true. That's like less exciting, wouldn't we all say? Like we wouldn't be talking about this.
Gaslit the internet.
Yeah, I did.
I know.
You got, I mean,
it sounded for a minute
that you were coming
after my porn,
so I got very upset.
I think a lot of guys did.
They felt attacked.
You can't go after our porn.
We can.
You can do,
you can do anything you want.
You can't do that.
It actually would be like
very funny if it was...
Abortion's not a funny topic,
but if it were reversed and we're taking away everyone's porn,
people would be...
This world would crumble.
It would melt.
Yeah.
Set on fire.
Yeah, no, big time.
All right, are you getting excited for your fight?
Yes.
Come and take it.
Is that an apple?
Come and take it out of my dead body.
It's a peach.
That's her new embroidered shirt she's going to wear.
I love it.
Million dollar AB.
Million dollar Alex Bennett.
Are you feeling good about this fight?
Are you feeling like Cupcake's going to smash you?
I feel good.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Cupcake's probably going to smash you.
Death.
No.
No, I said.
I don't think so.
I don't think so either.
I have a good feeling.
Oh, she's for sure going to smash you.
Listen, Alex had a pretty high score.
Yep.
The highest. You have to remember, like, Cupcake is a good guy. I haven't done it sure going to win. Listen, Alex had a pretty high score. Yep. The highest.
You have to remember, like, Cupcake isn't used to that.
I haven't done it yet.
I was kidding.
What?
Cupcake's not used to the lights and the show.
Alex knows that world.
Cupcake isn't used to that.
Hasn't she boxed before?
Yeah, but she's never podcasted.
Yeah.
I was going to say, I'm going to go with the person who's boxed before.
She has more grit.
Yeah, and she's boxed before.
Me.
Are you betting against your own girl?
No, I said it would be a shame if she died.
What if I died? We were talking about who am I going to
give my death to? Can we make a bet?
It would be a shame if she died.
A lot of money on the fact that I lost.
Listen, I'm calling the fight so I can't pick a side,
but Cupcake's going to smash her.
What is this? This is locker room material.
Yeah. I don't like this. What do this? This is locker room material. Yeah.
I don't like this.
What do you mean?
I'm being honest.
I'm giving you my opinion.
Hey, I'd rather be the underdog because I know what I can do, so I don't mind it. That's true.
Don't worry about that.
That's true.
Brandon, are you eating her food?
Yeah, he's eating the peach, and it's good.
It's a good peach.
Okay.
He thought it was an apple.
This is a peach.
Oh, there you go, Brandon.
He's going to jerk off to that later.
He is.
He is. Good content. He's going to jerk off to that later. He is. He is.
Good content.
He's going to be like, remember when I ate Alex's peach?
Not that good.
Fuck.
Okay, so what else?
I mean, buyrnr.com.
Buyrnr.com.
We need 70k.
Alex straight-faced asked me today.
She's like, are you going to tweet about Rough and Rowdy?
I just figured I might as well make sure.
I can sleep on it.
Oh, I'll be tweeting about it.
Just want to make sure.
And then when you think you've sent all the tweets you can,
hopefully I got in your head and you'll send one more.
I'm going to send the exact amount of tweets I always send,
which is way too many on a Friday.
Maybe one more.
Are you going to tweet?
Just all day Friday.
We're all terrified of Dave.
Yeah.
As long as we're all tweeting.
We can tweet.
Okay. You're all going to buy the pay-per-view?
I'm not.
He's going to be there.
Jordan, he calls it.
No, I know, but I'm going to be there.
I'm going to buy it.
I'm going to buy it five times.
Okay, I'll buy it before I leave Brooklyn.
Yeah, buy it.
I mean, Sass is her manager.
He'll be there.
The Yak Boys can serve.
Sass, you're going?
Yeah, he's her manager.
Wait, what? There's a ton of people going to this manager. He'll be there. The Yak boys can serve. Sass, you're going? What? Yeah, he's her manager. Wait, what?
There's a ton of people going to this one.
Like, a ton.
You guys didn't know that that's her manager right there?
Someone needs to.
No, he hasn't said a word.
God damn it, Sass.
That's why we hired you.
You haven't talked to her.
Sass, you're her manager?
You're going to Huntington?
I literally hate you, Sass.
How did you not say that?
What do you mean?
I have said it.
Everyone knows that.
I did not.
I think Kat wasn't here when I became the manager.
Your voice is high right now.
What?
What?
What'd you say?
It did happen in this room.
I've never heard Sass mention Ruff and Rowdy once.
Oh.
I don't like to promote violence, I guess.
So that's your manager.
I have this image of her hitting me and him being like, oh, wait, sorry. I'm out. He promote violence, I guess. So that's your manager.
I have this image of her hitting me and him being like, oh, wait, sorry.
I'm out.
He's like, fuck.
I don't know how it's going to go.
I hope someone gets knocked out.
I stand by that.
I root for a knockout in every fight.
That's great.
We want a good fight.
Yeah.
We need more pay-per-views then.
Well, no, because then- They would already be bought, yeah.
That's true.
By before.
That's true.
You got to guarantee a knockout.
Yeah.
More clips on the backside.
Guarantee a knockout one way or the other.
Either you're knocking her out, she's knocking you out.
I guess I could fake a knockout if all this fails.
No, no, no.
Conseco.
In the last two seconds, if it's been two minutes and how many?
58 seconds, I guess I could...
No, no, no.
You've just got to knock her out.
Here's my thing. I have to be as honest as I can about it
I am very confident in what I can do
I don't know if I can knock her out
I would be shocked if she could knock me out
because I've had the shit beat out of me
Alright, so if you're getting your ass kicked
2 minutes and 30 seconds into the fight
is there any chance you're just gonna lay down?
No, no shot
Wait, but you've been getting your ass kicked with headgear, correct?
No. Oh. Okay, that makes
me a little more... No, I've been getting bloody
noses and shit, like, multiple
times. Yeah, totally, and I probably won't feel
it. I would pick Kyle. I think he could throw the
hardest one.
Well...
You don't have to ask Kyle twice.
Jesus.
Please don't, to ask Kyle twice. Please don't actually.
No, Kyle.
Kyle, don't.
Kyle's the one guy that we actually all are nervous.
That would be wild.
Okay, well, are you the headliner fight?
Yeah, but Doug's will be after me
because the heavyweight can break the ring.
So that you know this information.
Yeah, that's your manager.
Well, I don't know.
We've had people fight in Rough and Rowdy
that aren't the top fight.
Yeah.
Are you still coming?
Yeah.
I don't know if I'm going to come as early as planned,
but I'm going to come.
When were you going to go? They got me on like a 5 a.m. I don't know if I'm going to come as early as planned, but I'm going to come. When were you going to go?
They got me on like a 5 a.m. flight on Thursday.
Did we not give him options?
You were there when I said I'll change your flight.
I was like on the road.
But when I said he could bring a friend, I'm like.
I said I would go, but he's trying to talk me out of it.
He said I want to go alone.
No, you said do you need to bring someone.
I guarantee I said want.
No, you definitely said want.
Am I going to be like bring a support puppy with me he's bringing social i want to bring uh thank you
owen oj mayo good idea is he from westward huntington prep who's no he played for huntington
high so why are so many people going which is the public she has a walkout crew. Huntington Prep is like the super team, which is stupid.
That shouldn't exist, these fifth-year super teams.
IMG.
Stop doing that.
That shouldn't be a thing.
There's a massive Barstool presence.
She has a massive female walkout crew.
Oh, yeah.
You're going, Big Cat?
It's less paper.
I'll be there.
I think I'm going to try to get there.
One Friday.
Boys.
Boys.
Just going and flying.
Boys.
Same day.
Is Glenny just cycling these girls?
He's got three today.
Oh, they brought donuts?
Oh, my God.
Hell, yes.
How are you?
Cowboy boots.
Okay, well, Alex, we're excited.
Again, I'll say it would be a shame if you died.
It would be a shame if you died.
I can't say who I'm rooting for because I'm calling the fight.
I know.
Yeah.
Again, I'm rooting for just action.
I don't care.
I actually do not care who wins.
I want just an awesome fight for the people.
I don't, but I agree.
You think Graham will beat off the Cupcake after she beats you?
Oh, sure.
Maybe he already has.
Oh, it's Chance.
Did he say Graham?
Yeah.
That's his name, right?
That's the one.
That's the one.
That's him.
Is he going to go?
Yes.
He's on our flight.
Your flight.
He's on your flight.
It makes a lot of sense.
I passed him on the street today.
Did you say hi?
I gave him a-
Are you jerking off?
Fist.
The only time he can jerk off is when he's out of the house.
Wait.
Public.
He's the guy on every subway.
He beats off the mole people.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I gave him the fist, and then he gave me his left fist.
Yeah, because his right was already on the subway.
Then he did tap me.
He grabbed my shoulder.
I thought it was a cool move.
That is a cool move.
That is cool.
He actually saw the clip and came in the bedroom and was like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
I was like, nice.
He did?
Best place to do it.
We're talking about this on Friday.
Well, I was going to ask, do you go to sleep before him?
That depends.
Yeah, because if you go to sleep before him, he's jerking off every time when you fall asleep.
Having a notes app just be like, I swear I beat off.
Yeah.
Don't listen to her.
Yeah.
I jerk off.
Okay, buyrnr.com.
Very excited.
Thank you, Alex.
Thank you.
Proud of you.
Thank you.
It's crazy.
Anyone who gets in the ring, it's fucking nuts.
Your commitment to training is insane.
When you step in that ring, you could die.
Consumed your life. There's a chance.
Braids are bad. It's all stamina.
Warrior.
Bye, guys. Bye. It would be incredible
if Alex got knocked out. Jesus Christ.
I think she's going to win.
It would be incredible. I think she's going to win.
Any knockout is incredible.
I have to go, right?
Yes.
Worst manager ever.
You mean not go?
Why did you...
How were you chosen to go?
I volunteered.
I didn't know you guys have ever spoke.
We have not spoke since I volunteered myself.
You haven't really been doing the manager duties.
Dude, I don't want to go.
Just get out of it?
Can we play the tape of Sass saying,
yeah, he'll go to her?
Because it was the least genuine thing
I've ever heard.
Why don't you just...
Voice cracked.
You know what we'll do is
when I get to West Virginia,
I'll FaceTime you.
And you can be like,
go get him.
No, I have to go.
That would be such an asshole move not to.
It's not going to matter if you're there or not.
It's not going to matter at all.
Right, so don't go.
Big Cat, you are going or you're not?
I am going to go.
Okay.
Confirm I'm going.
I haven't been in New York on the weekend in over a month.
Oh, you need some me time.
Yeah.
Self-care.
Now I have to go down with the fucking...
That's not a great excuse.
You can do better than that as an excuse.
I can?
Yeah.
Yeah. It would be better if you were... Right. You do better than that as an excuse. I can? Yeah.
Yeah.
It would be better if you were supposed to be.
You need a break
from your second job
so you can't do this first one.
I'll go.
I'm going.
I'm going.
I'm going to go.
I'm going to go,
but I'm not...
It's the opposite of an excuse.
I'm going to go,
but I'm not going
on the flight that they booked.
Sass couldn't make it.
He was too available.
Why don't you just fly on Friday?
Because there was something like they wanted me there
on Thursday. The weigh-in?
Why would you be there for the weigh-in?
I think I'm supposed to be like the
hype man, which is just like I'm not that.
That's not me. No, but you agreed to this.
She's also taken like
legitimately 18 people.
Also, you didn't even... Do you want to go on our
flight or the party flight? I was like, what the fuck is the party flight? She listed's like 30 people going. Also, you didn't even... They were like, do you want to go on our flight or the party flight?
And I was like, what the fuck is the party flight?
And she listed off like 70 people going.
Jesus Christ.
There's some prize people going that I heard Devlin talking,
and there's like a...
I think it's going to be a banger of an R&R.
Really?
A couple surprises.
And all that's in...
A couple wild cards.
All that's in the back of my head is Nick just walking around the office
being like, you don't want to go to Huntington.
It sucks.
Oh, we need to get Justin Riggs in the ring.
Oh, yeah?
He was a lifer 103 pounder for Huntington High School.
About four foot three.
You don't need to tell us.
Did he have the Milonakis Syndrome?
103.
What does lifer mean?
He had the face of a much older man.
Oh, Benjamin Button. Oh. How can you be a lifer in high school had the face of a much older man. Oh, Benjamin Button.
Oh.
How can you be a lifer in high school?
You only get four years.
I got five.
Yeah, I guess.
But it's a rare, like a senior 103 pound.
Oh, wow.
What a beast.
Huh.
Two timer, I think.
So you're going that night.
That's more than 103 pounds.
You're going that day and then leaving that night.
I can't stretch.
He's four foot two.
Damn.
You could just say, if you want to ask, can I go on the private jet, I'll tell you no.
I don't want to go on the private jet at all.
Oh, okay.
I don't want to fly on a plane that small.
That sounds like a fucking nightmare.
It's awesome.
I would love to.
I was supposed to make a private jet.
The bathrooms are a little rough.
I would rather take a train back for like 50 hours.
I took a train back from Morgantown.
I went up to Pittsburgh and took a train back instead of flying on the private jet.
You could just sit there for 50 minutes and be back.
Yeah.
You walk into the airport, you get on a plane, and the whole trip.
Wake up in your bed.
Double out of it.
Sleep in your bed.
If it makes you feel better, they also didn't ask you to do this.
I'm pretty sure it was your idea.
No, it wasn't.
Or it might have been.
It might have been my idea, yeah.
I think Nadu was going to be her manager originally.
For some, I don't know know it was like a friday and i was like yeah i'll do it i'll be your manager and then i
was like instantly i was like i gotta tell her i'm not gonna do that and i and then now it's like
the day after tomorrow i'm leaving she clearly put a lot of thought in who would be the manager
just whoever's in front of her she would just say would would be the manager. Just whoever was in front of her, she would just say, would you be the manager?
There's probably like nine managers.
They have a whole walkout crew?
Like, why am I there?
I thought I was the walkout guy.
It's a spectacle.
I don't want you to go. It was a big spectacle.
She's not going to go.
No, I'm going to go.
You have to go.
I have to go.
Weird.
This seems like something
you can easily just not do.
No, I feel like that would be an asshole move to do that.
She's not going to notice.
Wow.
Literally not even at all.
Oh, no.
Oh, are you exhibiting guilt or shame?
Me?
Yes.
Guilt, if I don't go.
That's a good sign.
That means you're not a complete narcissist.
Yeah, I'm going to go. I'm going. I'll see you out there. We'll get beers. Wait, I don't go. Good sign. That means you're not a complete narcissist. Yeah, I'm going to go.
I'm going.
I'll see you out there,
big cat.
We'll get beers.
Wait, I don't know.
You've talked so much
about going and not going.
You're not going.
We'll do beers.
Going just because
of his own image
would be a bad look for him.
I think it's the fear of shame.
Oh, we should let the wheel decide
whether you're going or not going.
No, it's not the fear of shame at all.
I have no problem.
If I was fully like,
I'm not going to go,
I wouldn't care,
but I feel bad not going.
Why don't you let the wheel decide?
Because I'm going.
Do you think when you get there, you're going to be like,
why did I do this?
No, I'll just end up sitting in the hotel.
It's better than being in our apartment.
That's a plus.
How's the ice?
I haven't been there. I slept in a hotel last night.
No, really? It's that bad? We put traps down and I was like, fuck it, I'll go, idea. I haven't been there. I slept in a hotel last night. No, really?
It's that bad?
We put traps down, and I was like, fuck it, I'll go back tomorrow. And if all the traps have been set off, then we're burning the apartment down.
Oh, fuck.
Okay, so you guys have to take a video of you walking in.
Yeah, yeah, you've got to record them.
We need a video of the moment we're walking in.
We also might have a couple of dead mice in the traps that need to be addressed.
Because now then you'll get bugs. Bugs will
start going to the bodies.
I thought they would just disintegrate.
What if you ignore it?
What if you ignore it? What you're doing is stupid.
Oh, we're going. I put them back.
I put them down last night. How many?
I'm going to go out after work. Four.
Four?
You might be there 24 hours a day.
I love that.
Well, the whole, my theory was hopefully like maybe one went off.
And then it'd be like, okay, we only had like two mice in our apartment.
If they all went off, then we're going to have to go.
By the way, if there are mouse traps and there are rats in your apartment, that won't kill a rat.
Yeah, we got rat traps as well.
I don't think it was a rat.
Oh, just maim a rat. It's we got rat traps as well. I don't think it was a rat. That would just maim a rat.
It's the old school ones, the big ones.
So the mice traps are this big.
The rat traps are literally this big.
Enormous.
They would take off someone's foot.
They'd break a bone, yeah.
So wait, there are two types.
The kind that break their back or the glue traps.
Glue traps are kind of inhumane.
We put a glue down a while ago and I threw it away because I was like, dude, I'm not
picking this up while the rat or the mouse is like squirming around.
You can also do the poison.
I did the poison.
I know.
I wish I got that, but I literally just got these at Duane Reade downstairs.
My uncle said he saw a rat that he trapped with a glue trap and the rat chewed his like
ankle off basically.
I believe it.
Rats are so fucked. I had a glue trap and the rat chewed his ankle off basically. Rats are so fucked.
I had a glue trap one.
The worst thing that could happen is it dies in the walls.
Yeah.
It's not their house.
The smell is terrible.
If that's ever happened to you, it's the worst.
I had when I was little, I was at Sunday dinner
at my grandma's.
Big extended family all there.
I went into the kitchen and I was too little and dumb to know,
but I just picked up a rat off the mousetrap
and walked it into the family dinner.
That was tough.
That's one of those moments where it's just
a shame that you thought it was going to happen.
Yeah, that should be primal to not do that.
Okay, you shit yourself at least three times.
I don't know.
If I saw a dead rat on a mousetrap,
maybe it said a lot about me.
Yeah, I walked out with it.
Did you go back at all, Owen?
No, I live at Greer's now.
Him and his girlfriend,
they're heading into their 30s
and they're sort of just raising me.
I was very confident last night.
I was like, I'm just going to go back
and tough it out and sleep there.
And then I got home and no one was home and I was very confident last night. I was like, I'm just going to go back and tough it out and sleep there. And then I got home and no one was home and I was like so scared.
I was like, there's no way I would get one minute of sleep.
Did you splurge on the hotel?
Did you get something a little nice?
No, I was staying in a shitty hotel.
You okay, Brandon?
I'm fine.
Nice, get a headache.
I'm fine, I'm good, I'm good.
Yo, Brandon, you good?
I'm very good, I'm good.
Are you doing this for attention? I'm not. All I did was rub my head. I'm good. Yo, Brennan, you good? I'm very good. I'm good. Are you doing this for attention?
I'm not.
All I did was rub my head.
I'm sorry.
Brennan, are you going on a rough and roundy?
I'm not.
No.
We'll get you out there.
I don't want to.
We'll get you out there.
I'm not going.
And you can have a boys weekend.
The answer is no.
Brennan's got to get, he has got a three hour commute back home to pack.
Three hours back here.
So Kate, you're going.
You've got to pay $10 a day for everything.
No, you're not.
We're going to visit Pat's family in Knoxville, Tennessee.
Got it.
Knoxville's beautiful.
You didn't have to do a fake southern accent there.
That was kind of...
Going down with all the...
So who's from the office is going?
All the girls?
All the girls.
I feel like I do have a little FOMO because it does sound like it's going to be awesome.
And I want to be on the party plane.
I want to be on a party plane.
You're going to Knoxville with the bee.
That's true.
That's the most party plane you'll ever get. That's incredible. That's better on a party plane. Go to Knoxville with the Beavs. That's the most party plane you'll ever get.
That's incredible.
That's better than any party plane.
Didn't he turn his moving here from Texas into a party?
Pretty much.
Didn't he just bar crawl from Texas to here?
It took him like a week and a half.
Oh, he actually did that?
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Him and his best friend.
It was like a couple weeks before the baby was born.
He just took a sweet time.
Yeah, he did.
That's a cool move.
That's dude's rock.
I remember at the time you were complaining about it, but now.
No, it's fine.
Now we laugh about it.
And then his friend stayed at our place for a couple weeks.
When the baby was there?
No, before.
The party doesn't stop like that.
Oh, he's got to get out of his system.
In his defense, I feel like that's a better time for a bachelor party vibe,
like right before you have a kid.
Right before you have a kid.
Before you get married.
You're right.
You're right.
You should love the person you're marrying where you don't have to get all
this stuff out of your system.
That's true.
But it makes more sense if you can't do stuff.
Amazing idea.
Yeah.
Hey, we did a baby moon up to the Great Lakes wine country.
That's 100% what it should be.
I was his designated driver.
Solid.
That's solid.
Yeah.
It's good times.
It's good times.
We got to spin the wheel.
Yeah, we do.
We have to add a slither.
And two of us are on the rundown.
Yeah, me and Nick got to go do the rundown.
Let's go to 2.30 and then we'll be done.
I have to record a podcast at 2.30.
Okay.
I can go.
I can go.
No, no, no.
No, wait. As long as everyone knows it wasn't me that cut it short,
because I don't know.
Well, this is the company that you built,
and you made the rundown so good,
we have to stop what we're doing.
So it is your fault.
Yeah, fuck.
Yeah.
I don't like the odds on this one.
I know.
We're getting...
All right, let's spin it.
I want to see a day where there's no dry know. We're getting... All right, let's spin it. I want to see a day
where there's no dry spots.
We just...
Hold on.
They've been a bean.
We got to put my local yogurt shop...
We're tempting fate right now.
When did that get on the wheel?
Has that been on the wheel
the whole time?
24-hour fast?
Also, are we agreeing
24-hour fast,
it's the minute that it hits?
Yes.
No!
Yeah.
I don't eat until 2 o'clock.
You get 20 minutes
to stuff yourself. Okay. Okay, that's fair. Lock starts immediately. Yes. I don't eat until 2 o'clock. Oh, you get 20 minutes to stuff yourself.
Okay.
Okay, that's fair.
Lock starts immediately.
Yes.
I'm running out of here.
Yeah.
Just barreling down seventh to Chick-fil-A.
Out of the way.
We did it once, and then we all just got, like, super tired because we ate on the yak,
remember?
Yeah.
We did a 24-hour fast, then we ate, and we're just like, oh, this sucks.
You ate on the yak at the end of the fast?
Yeah like we did a 24 hour fast
Because we were all like what would it be like
And then at like
Halfway through the yak we started eating and everyone was like
This sucks I need to go to the bathroom
It does suck to break it
Yeah you were just
You can do it Brandon you're strong
I don't want to do that
You can drink black coffee and water right? I don't want to do that. You're strong. You can drink black coffee and water, right?
I don't want to do that.
I don't want to do that.
You're the kid who's like, you can't take my bacon.
What kid has ever said that?
Find the clip, TJ.
Most of them.
Wife swap.
Wife swap.
Oh, you're right.
Okay.
Actually, when we did the press, we did the video.
Yeah, we might have done exactly that.
That is Brandon Walker.
It's young boy Brandon.
Yeah, we have lived this life before.
Yeah.
Deja vu.
We should actually print out a transcript from it.
It's crap.
Definitely no cheese in the can.
Very happy to be throwing this away.
Bacon.
No, I want my bacon.
I got to tell you something.
Bacon is good for me. This is very neat. You're going to be going this away. Bacon. No, I want my bacon. I got to tell you something. Bacon is good for me.
This is very neat.
You're going to be going to the grocery store.
She thinks, out of the blue, she's a smart little girl
that she can do whatever she wants.
No, that's not how she can do it in our family.
She's the queen, and we're the sorry people.
Joy, I have been nice to you, but now I'm coming to the edge.
I promise you one thing, okay?
If you do not have at least one food that you like, I will buy you a piece of junk.
Is that a deal?
No, I keep losing at deals, and I don't want to make a deal anymore.
I am leaving, and you can't stop me.
I'm packing my bags.
I had a very, very calm day until this.
A bump in the road comes, and she be sarcastic.
Curtis.
I won't be coming back until Saturday when you leave.
She's going to try to stop me, but she can't run those little high heels.
Never see this face again.
What a boss.
I love him being like, I keep losing at deals.
Yeah, I'm done making them.
I don't understand that kid. Where are they now?
Everything about him screams like he's a stupid southern pork.
He is so well-spoken.
Oh, yeah.
He's recognized as extremely intelligent.
Poetic, almost.
Yeah, she tried to get him with another deal,
and he's like, nah.
It's almost impossible to sound intelligent with an accent.
To me, maybe it's ignorance, but yeah.
Yeah, maybe.
Brian Walker.
The Bacon.
No.
You're a smart guy.
Yeah, no, I am.
Do very well.
Nearly won a dozen championship.
Spoiler.
We need to go.
We already taped all of season three.
That was quick
it didn't quit
that was it
young gravy
the team
he loves milfs
does he
he's a big milf guy
that's a ridiculous team
you got me a ticket to one of his shows a few years ago Does he? He's a big MILF guy. That's a ridiculous team. Should we ask him?
He got me a ticket to one of his shows a few years ago.
Being a pro MILF guy is like being an ex-sex trafficking guy, though.
That's true.
Duh.
Yeah.
That's true.
Isn't he dating Addison Rae's mom?
What?
Isn't he dating Addison Rae's mom?
No, but Addison Rae's dad is trying to fight him.
Huh. Oh, yeah, yeah.
For no reason? Alright. The parents are split
and Young Gravy made a video hitting on
Addison Ray's mom because he likes mills.
It's a tough, tough position to be that dad.
Jesus. That is tough.
His dad is also like a crazy person that just
flexes shirtless on TikTok and screams
into the camera. Oh, Steven would hate him. His dad
or her dad? Addison Ray's dad.
Ah, okay. Oh, what I was going to say was or her dad? Addison Rae's dad. Ah, okay.
Oh, what I was going to say was we should try to do,
we should like print out
a transcript for a yak
that we did like a year
and a half ago
and just do things,
like everyone memorize
their lines.
Yeah.
And see if people are like,
what the fuck is going on?
That would actually be awesome.
That would be hard to do.
It would be very hard to do.
I love that idea.
Yeah, just be like, people are like, you're crazy, not us.
Yeah, let's remake an episode.
We'll reboot an episode.
With explosions.
Yeah.
We got to recast.
We have to recast.
People should start stealing podcasts more.
Yeah, people should take an old episode of a-
Comedians steal jokes, musicians will steal lyrics oh no
lufar no i want to see a big fart oh he's wearing the same shirt oh no man i'm not gonna fight you
over tiktok drama you got one of the most successful daughters in the world and you
decide to act half her age to try to get some attention while embarrassing your whole
family so grow up get some help and if we cross paths in real life don't do anything stupid
well so it's serious that was like i'm not funny what are the rankings of most successful daughters
what is that oh he said you have the most successful daughter in the world. Wouldn't that be the Williams sisters?
That would be any woman.
Any woman.
Any woman.
Right.
She's up there.
Any woman as successful as a daughter.
She's pretty successful.
That's like a funny fake inspirational quote.
Every woman's a daughter.
Never forget that.
Yeah, we should do a podcast about it.
Daughter of a mom.
Daughter of a girl dad.
Daughter of a...
Yeah.
Father of a girl daughter. No. Daughter of a girl dad daughter of a father of a girl daughter no
daughter of a girl dad
girl mom
I know three of the least
successful daughters in the world
the staff at my local
yogurt place
this place is breaking my brain
what a twist I'm into frozen yogurt place. This place is breaking my brain.
What a twist.
I'm into frozen yogurt now.
It's like my hangover treat.
I like the fruit.
Wait, you go to frozen yogurt?
Yes, okay.
I think it's the best fruit. Dude, go to...
So this place, I look it up
online or on Google.
It's called Culture.
Okay.
Right by me.
I looked at it.
In the first review, the only one visible was a one star that prefaced it by saying,
let me just say that the frozen yogurt is incredible, the best I've ever had.
I was like, this person sucks.
That's a five star.
If the yogurt's good, that's all that matters.
Wrong.
I went.
They refused to oblige my request.
I always say, fill the cup a quarter way with the yogurt.
The rest, pile on the fruit.
Just wouldn't do it.
We're so rude.
Went back again.
Didn't do it.
Then I go on Yelp, and all of the reviews are one to two stars that preface it by saying
the yogurt is incredible.
But it's the...
It's the daughters.
That checks out to me.
Three daughters that work there.
Wow.
How do you know they're...
Well, they're not sisters.
Oh, they're all daughters.
They're all daughters, yeah.
That's true.
That's a fact.
I got it now.
I want a quarter filled with watermelon.
A rest with strawberries and mangoes.
No ice cream.
Ply a bowl. Quarter. That'd be good for you. Oh, yeah. Ply a bowl right byes. No ice cream. Ply a bowl.
Quarter.
Is that good for you?
Oh, yeah.
Ply a bowl right by your place?
Oh, no, not a bowl.
Wait, a quarter filled with watermelon.
Let me say, this yogurt is incredible.
So what are they messing up?
Are they 28% of the way?
100%.
Then the fruit is like piled on top falling off.
But you would understand.
I want it to be mostly fruit.
Right.
They're like, what psycho would come and only get fruit?
Yeah, that's how they react every time I request.
This place is insane.
They're so mean.
Oh, wow.
Staff is rude.
Huh.
The other thing is the smoothie I've been wanting to try the most,
it's called a Berry Bay Bay, and I just said it.
You can't just say that.
I cannot bring myself to order that out loud.
I'll go with you.
I'll order it for you.
I was like, all right, I think I'm going to do it.
And then I started looking at the smoothie menu,
and they were like, no, we're done doing smoothies.
You just said it to thousands of people.
Why can't you say it to them?
Yeah.
The daughter's intimidating.
People are always really passionate about it. You have to say the name. The daughter should say it to them. People are always like really passionate about
like you have to say the name too
or else it doesn't exist.
And the menu's too far
so I can't like point at it.
You should pretend you're mute.
Yes, and just write it down.
Or act like you're picking it up
for an office
and it's like okay,
just one.
Can you order ahead?
I couldn't verbalize it.
Can you order ahead?
Yeah, maybe.
You had an issue with that, too.
Didn't you order ahead and it took too long?
So you went into-
I thought I was doing the ultimate own.
Whenever at this place by me, whenever I press pickup order, it's like 35 minutes to pickup.
I'm like, that's no way.
I might as well just go in and order it myself.
And I did that.
So you just used the restaurant right?
And I was like, because it wasn't ready when I got in.
Then I ordered it.
And then when I went to pay, I just showed them the Uber Eats receipt.
No, so did the driver get paid for the job they didn't have to do?
No, it was a pickup order.
Oh, okay.
Incredibly bothered by my mere existence.
It's actually crazy how many reeds.
Inns are all KDs.
This is insane.
They are the meanest people in the world.
Was it on purpose?
The staff?
Almost like it is rude as fuck.
Wait, is this like a Dick's Last Resort?
Yeah, that's what it is.
You would think.
You would think.
Huh.
Huh. You would think. You would think. Maybe bring your own big cup
and put whatever they give you
in your big cup afterwards.
You don't want that much yogurt?
Is that what it is?
Because it topples.
Do you like fruit more than yogurt?
I want a cup of fruit, yeah.
Do you even need the yogurt?
Do you just want to ask for it?
I like to have a little bit of yogurt mixed in.
Okay.
Thumbs down.
Acting more as a creme fraiche than a base.
Kind of want you to call and see if you can order ahead, but primarily fruit.
I need to know more.
Can I go with you later today?
You can try to go there and make any type of unique request.
How far away is it?
Let's go.
Why don't you go tomorrow on the act?
Yeah, I want to start recording myself just to show you. Yes. I will, yeah. How close is it? Let's go. Why don't you go tomorrow on the yak? Yeah, I want to start recording myself just to show you.
Yes.
I will, yeah.
How close is it?
It's walkable.
It's like a 20-minute walk.
All right, so maybe.
Doing a long yak.
Oh, no.
Maybe someone tomorrow meets you there to start the yak.
Okay.
We zoom in to start the yak.
You get yogurt for everyone.
No surprises.
They're just going to not do it.
All right, so you'll get yogurt for everyone?
Oh, if I ordered seven.
Yes.
Yes.
For requests?
Yes.
Owen, can you go with them tomorrow?
Yeah, I'll meet them.
I already feel anxious
thinking about it.
So TJ, make sure Owen
has the Zoom link
and that will be how we start
the 100K show.
Cold open with a seven
in a froyo order.
I love it.
I fucking love it.
Oh no.
True cold.
It wasn't open. We just watched the whole thing. Yeah, you got to get, you got to get, no, it's not seven. I love it. I fucking love it. Oh, no. True cold. It wasn't open.
Just watch the whole thing.
Yeah, you got to get...
No, it's not seven.
It's ten.
Ten.
Yeah, I'm nervous.
Get your mind right.
I want a berry baby.
I want a berry baby as well.
Practice saying it.
Two berry babies.
No, actually,
you're not allowed to do that.
I'll take a berry baby,
another berry baby,
and another berry baby.
I'll have a berry baby, but I'd like you to hold one of the bays.
Yeah.
Yeah, let's all alter it a little bit.
Yeah, I want a berry bay.
I want rainbow sprinkles.
Okay.
Yeah, you can put yourself in this one.
Yeah, you did.
This is going to be great.
No, this is an ultimate own. You're owning them, you did. This is going to be great. No, this is an ultimate own.
You're owning them.
You are.
You're going to own them.
By spending a bunch of money at their store.
At their store.
Yeah.
Ah, shit.
What if they're nice as hell, too?
Yeah.
They try to walk you back with it, and they carry the stuff for you.
I don't know.
I mean, yeah.
Oh, shit.
Fuck. All right, you guys got to go do the rundown. Let's get out't know. I mean, yeah. Shit. Fuck.
All right, you guys
gotta go do the rundown.
Let's get out of here.
All right, tomorrow,
a thousand more.
Everyone's bringing something.
I'm bringing a bottle of tequila,
so we will be drinking.
Party.
Party.
Okay?
I'm working on a surprise,
but I don't know if...
Oh, hell yes.
And we're starting with Kyle
facing his demons,
the three daughters.
Pro yo.
Yeah.
All right, see everyone tomorrow.
Bye.
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