The Yak - Big Cat Wants to Fight a Moose | The Yak 11-17-22
Episode Date: November 17, 2022It's ScorpionYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Hello.
What's up, guys?
Missed you guys.
Missed you too.
Busy day for you.
Yeah, I got to say, I got to apologize.
Kyle.
Fucked up.
The Maxion ranking?
I don't know why I never even.
Yeah, that was crazy.
I don't think I embody Maction.
I never went to any of the sporting events.
Yes, you did, Kyle.
Went to the wrestling events.
John Rich was on my mind.
Yeah, but I didn't go to football or basketball.
I wasn't big into it.
Didn't really have the passion.
John Rich did and does.
No, he was betting on it, so that's why he was forefront of my mind.
It's fine.
No, it's fair that John Rich made it.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, I didn't.
I've known John Rich for like three months.
Known him well.
Known him well.
Yeah, the Mac tour was very fun.
I have the key to the city, Toledo.
How many keys to cities do you have now?
That's a decent fucking city.
Yeah, I know.
It's a pretty...
They just paid off everyone's health care.
Really?
Debt.
Medical debt.
You would have liked this mayor.
The entire city.
The mayor has like a – he knows every result of every Michigan-Ohio State game in the last 50 years.
And like also facts about like players that played in the games.
Yeah, I love that.
He seemed like just a cool dude too.
Just like a good guy.
Mayor Wade.
And he went to Michigan.
And he went to Michigan.
We found that out at the end.
He's an Ohio State guy?
Yeah.
And he was bashing Michigan and giving Dave a bunch of guff.
And then at the end, he was like, yeah, I actually went to Michigan.
He went to Michigan and roots for Ohio State?
Yeah.
He's damn near impossible.
He's an Ohio guy.
Wow.
That's so weird.
I think he went to get the better education to then come back to Ohio and lead the people.
But I think you change allegiances once you go to school.
Yeah, no, of course, but he...
I would.
He's set on his way.
I like that sweatshirt.
That shit goes hard.
I came out the trenches and I'm up.
No doubt.
What the fuck did that mean?
I started in the trenches, and look at me now, rocking clothes like this.
Actually, you know what?
I was stupid that I didn't understand it the first time.
Fuck.
I'm an idiot.
No, that's, yeah, the Energizer bunny is.
Yeah.
That's when you know.
That's when you know that you're out.
That's big baller shit.
Brandon. Hey. How you feeling? Sleepy out. That's big baller shit. Brandon.
Hey.
How you feeling?
Sleepy head?
I'm good.
I'm good.
Things are good.
Yeah?
My mother-in-law's in town.
Oh.
Oh.
Yeah, I have to have a date with her tomorrow.
Just you two?
Mm-hmm.
What the fuck are you going to do?
What are you doing?
Just taking her to the city, taking her to the museum and stuff like that.
The museum.
Oh, the one museum we have here.
No, she wants to go to the museum. That's what she said.
I don't know which one it is. Go natural history.
I think she wants to go art. What time are you doing that?
Before or after you get drunk on the act tomorrow?
I'm not going to be here for a month.
Bring her in.
No, no, no.
No. Bring her in.
Is it rude to ask if you like your wife?
Yeah.
Does the apple fall far from the tree?
No, I don't. Or should we say the
watermelon? Do you have two things in common?
I'd not like to talk the
attractiveness of my mother-in-law.
Why? I just don't want that. Okay, let me just
put it this way. Would you bang her?
I mean, that's just subtle.
Yeah, I would like to know. It's an easy yes
or no. If you wouldn't, just say no.
Say no off the rip.
You're out of the doghouse. You're good like to know. It's an easy yes or no. If you wouldn't, just say no. If you didn't say no off the rip. Yeah, so that's a yes.
No, no, no.
You're out of the doghouse.
You're good.
We know.
Lovely, lovely lady.
There he is.
Delight to have in our life.
Come on, come on.
Sit down, sit down, sit down.
Jersey Jerry off.
Something's different about you, man.
You do look cool as hell, though.
What happened?
It does look cool.
Drano? Yeah. You got Drano in in your eye you got attacked by dreno gloves yeah geez so you scratched your you just were
rubbing your own uh so i live with three girls you know um so they always got hey they got dreno
everywhere what oh your sister yeah yeah my mom, my girlfriend. Your son doesn't count?
Yeah, but he doesn't shed.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
He doesn't, he's not at his shedding stage yet?
Oh, not yet.
He got long hair, though.
But no, I was, the sink's been, like, fucked up for, like, I don't know, I'd say, like,
a week now.
And I tried to, like, run those, like, plastic snakes down, but, like, nothing was coming
up.
And, like, when I brush your teeth, it would just be gross.
So I was like, fuck it.
So I was just pouring Drano.
I wore gloves.
I had my protection on.
I just didn't have glasses or whatever.
I poured it, and it was coming up,
so I was pushing it down,
and then I forgot I had Drano in the sink.
I guess a fuzz or something,
like I felt like irritated,
maybe from like the fumes or something.
And then like I rubbed my eye and I was like,
oh shit, this is covered in Drano.
Yeah.
And just, it just swelled up.
Right away.
Right away you knew.
It just started burning and I couldn't,
it's not funny.
I know.
No, it's funny.
Like the look is funny, but like. No, I know, I know. I know it's not funny. I know. No, it's funny. Like, the look is funny, but like.
No, I know, I know.
I know it's not funny.
The eye is fucking serious.
I texted Jerry and he's like, please don't, like, this isn't funny.
I'm at the hospital.
But the look is funny.
The look probably is funny, yeah.
No, it's very funny.
Like, my mom, she was like, for like 16 hours, it was like super foggy.
Like, I couldn't even see anything.
And my eye is still like beet red.
Did you go right away? As soon as it started burning, were you like, get my eye is still like beet red did you go right
away as soon as it started burning were you like get me to the hospital or what did you do yeah so
people like oh why the hell did you tweet like i was in the car with somebody else you know what
i mean they were driving me so like whatever yeah content is king keeps your mind off it too probably
because yeah but i flushed it out right away like they said but like so i got recommended to go to
the the actual eye doctor the next day because this guy in the ER was like, I don't know if there will be permanent damage to it.
And then he gave me drops and ointment to put on daily.
And then the next doctor the next day, which was yesterday, the eye doctor said no permanent damage.
The redness should go down in like three to five days.
But my eyes swelled too.
Like the eyelid too swelled up.
So are you going to be like Rip Hamilton?
You're going to keep the eye patch after?
No, no.
I want to get rid of this thing.
That would be so fun.
It's not even that noticeable, man.
Oh, no.
Where did you get the eye patch?
Did they give you one?
The ER.
The ER? The ER, yeah.
And you did cost us money last night.
I mean, you guys cost yourself money.
If you texted me and was like, hey, Jerry, do you think Seton Hall was going to win?
You went to the Seton Hall game.
I don't know.
Seton Hall Pirates.
I don't watch college basketball.
I was like, of course they're going to play well for Jerry.
He's a pirate.
Yeah, but the pirate's dead.
This is a dead eye.
Yeah, that's true.
That should have been the sign, you know?
Should have been the sign.
Fuck.
But I'm okay.
I feel better. It's still red, but the? Should have been a sign. Fuck. But I'm okay. I feel better.
It's still red, but the swelling went down on the eyelid and shit.
I'll be back.
When do you think we can laugh about it?
Right now.
Okay, nice.
I didn't know if it was fine to make jokes.
Oh, yeah, it's fine.
I texted Dan.
Even my mom thought my eye was done.
You with a glass eye would be pretty cool.
Yeah.
I don't know about that.
It's actually really hard to operate.
I didn't think it would be this hard.
You need like an intern or a pupil
to like help you out.
Are you saying it's hard
to operate with
one eye? I would agree.
Yeah, it's really hard.
It's really hard.
Yeah.
Driving is tough.
Yeah, you do.
Two eyes is very important.
Yeah, I only drove really short distances, but it's-
And also, you have zero tint on your car.
That's true.
Oh, double whammy.
Yeah, yeah, but I feel okay.
It's a lot less irritated than it was when it happened, for sure.
Did you get some
sympathy sex
you know no
I didn't actually
this is a good time
for I'll say
a little role playing
yeah
you know what I mean
she's gonna have to
walk the plank
put her in the boo box
consent
that'd be funny
that'd be funny
I heard your penis
is hook shaped
that's good
like what
Evan Stone
is he the one
does he have a hook penis?
I don't think so.
Or he might have been in the Stagnetti's Revenge with Pirate Simon,
the entire pirate porn fiasco.
It was funny.
What are the odds?
Rico asked me, I don't know, like a month and a half ago.
I was like, hey, you want to go to the scene hall game in Iowa?
I'm like, yeah, sure, I'll go.
Yeah.
And this.
Should have won. Crazy. Should have won.
Crazy.
Should have won.
Nuts.
Yeah.
You look good.
Thank you.
I feel a lot better.
So wait, it was the Pirates versus the Hawkeyes?
Yeah.
How crazy is that?
This was destiny.
Yeah.
Had it out for me.
They knew what they were doing.
Dang.
Drano, man. Yeah, damn. It's dangerous stuff, but boy, is it useful. Oh, it's me. They knew what they were doing. Drano, man.
Yeah, damn.
It's dangerous stuff, but boy, is it useful.
Oh, it's great.
You really actually use a Drano and it... We just used it this week.
We had the same thing.
You just bumped into your microphone.
But you can smell the burning coming from the sink.
Yeah.
We just did the same thing, and I was like, is that burning?
Like, my hair burning?
I was like, yeah, that's your...
I have never successfully used Drano ever.
What?
What does that mean?
You missed the drain?
No, every time I've tried it, it just didn't work.
Yeah, I'm in that situation now.
I shower in a bath.
Oh, no.
You just pour Drano and let it sit for like 30 minutes.
But I never had it work.
Then you go hot water on the Drano.
Yeah, it liquefies everything.
You got to use like Very hot water
Yeah
It's so much better
Than actually using
One of those
What is it called
Snakes
Those are disgusting
I like the nightmare
No
And you get the gross shit
Why is Ebony waving
She's waving
Cause I have three sisters
And when we had to do the snake
It was the most disgusting thing ever
So gross
You pull it out
Pull it up
And it's just
Covered in it
So much hair
Why do they shed like that Why do they shed like that?
Why do they shed like that? No idea.
Why do that who? Kate? Oh yeah.
Answer for your species. Bathroom wall.
Always at the end of the shower.
Wall right? Right on the wall. I know.
Huge pile of hair on the wall. Bet you guys shed
just as much but just don't notice.
Your hair fits down the drain usually because it's
smaller probably. And whereas, who was I
talking about they're finding, oh I was with my cousins, and they're like,
you know how you find your wife's hair in your butt crack when you're in the shower?
Does that happen to you guys?
That happens to me.
You get hair in your butt crack?
Yeah, you pull out –
It's like in your underwear sometimes.
I was like, what?
It gets in the laundry, and it gets –
It does.
That one I can't say.
Oh, that has happened.
There's a woman in my house, and that's never happened. I don't know. That has happened. There's a woman in my house and that's never happened.
It's a thing.
Pulling out clumps of hair from your butt crack that aren't you.
Same on.
With my son, when he was born, they're like, watch his penis because your hair, like mom's hair is wrapped around.
I heard about that.
It happened to my nephew.
He lost his hair.
Black one?
Black nephew?
Yes, they had to take him to the hospital.
Yeah, done like ripped the, almost squeezed the life out of his penis.
I'm sure.
It happens.
His cock.
I was paranoid.
His cock.
He doesn't have a cock.
He doesn't have a cock, yeah.
He's only at one soon.
When does a penis go to a cock?
When he passes, he's going to pass me up soon.
That should be the boy's quinceanera.
You got a cock now.
The pole in my bathroom is scolding hot.
Unguard it.
I done singed my ass last night.
Wait, what?
Why are you talking like this?
What have you become, man?
It's like the heater pole in my bathroom.
What is a heater pole?
I never even noticed it.
I have the exact same problem.
It is way too hot.
Oh, it's hot water.
I'm going to kill myself.
It's hot water. I don't know if it's the hot water or if it has something like the heater. It's a too hot Oh it's a hot water I'm gonna kill the fucking Yeah Oh it's a hot water I don't know if it's a hot water
If it like has
It's a pipe
Yeah it's a pipe
I swear to god
It's pole shaped
If you wrapped bacon around it
It would cut
This isn't a pipe
This is a pole
It's pole presenting
Cinch your ass
Yes
Let me see
I'm near
How bad
Yeah let us see
No cause my ass is
My ass hole is red right now.
Why would we ever see an asshole?
We don't need to see the hole.
Did you pull your cheeks apart?
Wait, why is your asshole red?
You pull your cheeks apart.
Wait, how do you know your asshole is red?
The pole got him in the asshole.
My asshole.
My asshole is red around.
It's irritated.
Yes. Does it hurt to sit. It's irritated. Yes.
Does it hurt to sit?
No, no, no.
How do you know it's red?
I know it's red.
Didn't we uncover this in LA?
What?
A picture of my ass came out, and you could see that it was very red around it.
That's how I first...
Oh, yeah.
There was a picture of your ass.
In the tanning bed, yeah.
I forget what the picture was.
It was him post-tanning bed.
And he just had a red ass?
Just, like, towards the crack, it was starting to gradient.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh.
That was...
Were you down low?
Were you down bad in L.A.?
No, I thought he was never been better.
I was thriving, yeah.
Okay.
Chaz Gresham?
Chaz Gresham.
He's a real person.
Yeah, he was coming to do a lift.
A lot of fans showing up.
Yeah.
That was one of my favorite KBs.
That was so funny.
Yeah.
Him showing up drunk
In the striped shirt
What was the phrase about how he was gonna tip the bartender?
Tip him righteous like an oil bar
Yeah
Tip you righteous
As he's tipping back in his chair
Yeah almost falling
Something got into you
I'm gonna tip you righteous
You're a funny ass dude
You are a funny guy
I'm off the boo you righteous. You're funny. Yes, dude. You are a funny guy.
I'm off the booze again.
What?
Thank you.
I'm on the fucking lion's mane extract, though.
Oh.
I tried that thesis shit.
What's that?
I see it all over Instagram.
I thought for sure it would be a scam.
It's like a healthy alternative to Adderall.
What?
I got the Clarity one. T tried it today for the first time it um it cleared out my brain fog which has been ongoing so i'm on lines man are you
plumbers right yeah jake plumber i i definitely it definitely works jake plumber gave me two
i i take like two drops of uh mushrooms every morning and I don't I have no idea
if it's actually working but
I
should have gotten sick at this point of the
football season and I haven't
like I've been you know grinding
like a lot of hours
right so something might be
helping
wait what is it what is the one that clears up the brain fog?
Lion's Mane?
This is the thesis.
Oh, I don't know that.
I was very annoyed by all the ads.
I thought for sure it was a scam, but I tried the Clarity one.
Not placebo.
It works.
What is it?
It's mushrooms.
Oh, it's like mushrooms?
I don't know.
Again, as someone who openly mocks 10X,
I'm not going to sit here and tell people that they should take something,
but I want to take it.
I don't know.
I'm ordering it right now.
I want clarity.
Yeah, I want clarity.
MyColove.com.
MyColove.com.
I've been searching for clarity for 20 years.
Yeah.
Minds made.
If you noticeably were like, my brain doesn't have a body.
I've been in brain fog for a couple of weeks now.
Well, look at that body, dude.
Oh my God.
That's an insane picture.
Was that the Roan response?
What was that?
Put the volume on.
Wait, wait, wait.
Play with the volume.
I don't remember that at all.
Play with the volume.
Play with the volume.
Maybe this was the week he got a video editor on his phone.
Yeah.
He went wild.
In the tanning bed?
That fucker has never seen a picture of him.
Not true.
Get fucked.
Oh, that guy
tried to get you.
You responded.
What was the picture
you responded to Roan?
It was, is that the picture you responded to Rone? It was,
is that the picture?
No,
the one that he responded to.
Rone.
Yeah,
dude,
I.
Enjoy,
enjoy douche bag.
I turned into a monster.
I was fighting
so many people online.
It was awesome.
Not who I am,
but.
Kind of.
Yeah,
deep down.
Enjoy douchebag.
Enjoy your In-N-Out.
I was like, no one had seen him for like 24 hours.
He was just running back to the tanning bed like every hour.
This is him showing up blackout.
He's got the earrings in.
So tan What a fun week that was man
It was
Are we going back?
Are we doing the Super Bowl this year?
Yeah I think so
I don't know the plan
But I would assume so
At least doing something
I was actually saying I don't know what i don't know what the
plan is to super bowl i know that we have our bar that's opening this weekend in scottsdale so go
check it out oh yeah it looks sick i think dave wanted to do a live show that was like sports
that was me him and whitney but i was thinking about it like why not like if we if we do a live
show we i would actually be fine if we rented a big house and we just did the yak from the house every day.
Yeah, that'd be cool.
And just did it from there and just did cool videos and shit.
That would be awesome.
That's in Scottsdale.
Super Bowl's in Phoenix.
That's huge.
It also would be better just in terms of, like, the live show.
Live show's tough when you're just talking and there's, like, especially in the West
Coast and there's not a lot of people there and it's like
early in the week and Super Bowl week
you kind of need the guests and stuff.
The outside too.
So maybe we just figure out a way to do it
and like if we rent a big house
I gotta talk to someone about that.
Thanks for the reminder. Jerry, this room smells
better today. Is it you?
Baccarat 540?
This is actually the Jeffy I just did.
The Jeffy?
You got to double down on the fragrance to make up for the eye.
Can I come smell you?
Yeah.
It's the Jeffy.
Smells like the Jeffy.
Yeah, you smell good.
It's good.
Jeffy.
Yep.
So what happened yesterday?
You guys roasted Stephen Che?
Oh, yeah.
Can we get an update?
Unroast me.
So we put Che on roast me.
It did pretty good.
It got half a million views on Reddit.
Wow.
And 700 comments.
Holy shit.
So can we see some of them?
The worst one ever was, holy shit, is that Stephen Che?
Somebody responded, yeah, watch the Yak today.
And they didn't know what the Yak was.
They just knew Stephen Che from Bucks analysis.
Oh, my God.
That's a bigger loser than you, Stephen.
Yeah.
At least Stephen is producing Bucks now.
Is that fucking Stephen Che?
Watch today's Yak.
That's incredible.
So no matter what happens in these comments, Che wins.
Oh, my God.
Seriously, like, Stephen at least is producing something.
He's a loser for what he does with film stuff.
Imagine being the loser that just watches all of it.
Oh, man.
Does that mean? Yes. there was a way to word it
oh i thought i worded it correct yeah you did but it was mean yeah i mean it was mean but
it was also factual right yeah it's fine yes facts can be mean sometimes there was there
was some very funny roasts in here like who's your favorite band who's your favorite bucks film guy
steven chad to be steven chad he's on my rush more yeah i feel like roasting appearances though There were some very funny roasts in here. Like, who's your favorite band? Who's your favorite Bucks film guy?
Stephen Chet.
It's got to be Stephen Chet.
He's on my Mount Rushmore.
I feel like roasting appearances, though, is pretty low-hanging fruit.
None of those.
Yeah.
It's not like good roasts.
There was some funny ones.
Definitely.
Goodbye with both hands.
That's funny. That's funny.
There's a lot of gum stuff, too.
A lot of gum.
I don't even feel like that's me i feel like
he's not gummy at all no i thought one of them was very funny someone was making fun of the
gums and someone said like he's gonna put wrigley out of business oh yeah yeah that was good
god damn nah man you need to tell your gums they aren't supposed to be the main character
enough gum to put wrigley out of business. That's the one you liked?
I thought that was funny.
That was funny.
Stephen Chay, no one has ever said that you're not a good sport.
You're the most down-to-clown guy.
Yeah, no, I was down for this.
Asian virgin Gordon Ramsay?
That's funny.
Wait, that's funny.
What ambiguity?
What could he pass for other than Asian or virgin?
Yeah, Steven's down for it.
He's down.
He's always down.
We're definitely going to get something that's not dry today.
Oh, yeah.
Should we just spin it?
Let's spin it now, yeah.
I hope we don't.
I hope we get a name wheel.
I would like name wheel.
Roback.
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Check it out now. I was wearing the joggers
and the hoodies on our college football
tour through Toledo
to NIU.
Beautiful time.
Great bus drive.
Rowback's the best clothes to wear for that.
And a flight.
Yeah.
The whole tour was great.
It was.
And it got booed.
I don't understand that.
I don't really understand that at all.
You're just a disagreeable person.
I'm a disagreeable person.
It's crazy to even think that. Dan, you're disagreeing with that.
Well, if I disagree.
Okay.
If I agree with that, I'm a pussy.
You disagreed with me saying you're disagreeable.
Okay.
You're right.
Now I'm a pussy.
No, no.
Now you're agreeable.
All right.
Fair enough.
It is funny that you get booed everywhere, even when you're trying to pump up the other
team.
Yeah.
I looked up their roster the other day day and my dog of the week was
one of their players judge culpepper and i said his name and they booed the shit out of him yeah
oh shit you and you yeah they were booing me that's fine i like it everyone needs a heel
of course you like it yeah i mean you're the heel it's always been the heel you play a great design
i'm gonna be doing a face turn soon and i just don't know how to and baby face i'm going baby
face i'm gonna be a good guy for a while.
That would actually be funny if you become like
super good guy.
Super Christian.
Good guy. No swearing.
Double hockey stick. Is that what it's going to take?
I think so. Just say fiddle sticks instead?
Yeah, right. Oh, I fudged up.
Okay. Alright. I'm going to go
face turn soon. I don't know how I'm going to pull it off.
How I'll go super good.
Start bleeping out your swears on Twitter like Mincy.
Does he do that?
He bleeps out his own swears?
Go to his Twitter. No way.
Yeah, I didn't notice. I didn't know that.
Oh, he's done it multiple times.
You guys have never seen this?
I typed the swear.
I don't know.
Wait, the word? The text word?
Or the audio?
I don't think you'll be able to find it.
Text word.
What does that mean?
He does like asterisks Really?
No way
Oh, he did tell me to kiss his asterisk one time
Yeah
Yeah, that's right
I remember that now
But he does it a lot
Huh
I think it's like a new thing
Oh
Oh
Trying to appeal to a younger demographic
Yeah
With
Clean comedy
I believe he claims he's only said fuck on air like three times since he's worked here.
Okay.
You've said it three times, though.
That's enough.
Right.
You just go, then.
You've already said it.
I'm losing my...
Well, that's too many asterisks.
His shits?
Yeah, he's done that also multiple times.
Maybe it's not shits.
His stick?
Losing my stick, losing my...
Snack?
Yeah.
He's losing his snack,
watching his Pelicans for his quarter.
All right, let's spin the wheel.
You think we're going to get something bad?
Yeah.
I think it'll be something good.
What's our plan next week?
Are we on two shows?
Monday, Tuesday next week.
No show Wednesday.
I'm out next week.
You son of a bitch.
We'll have the Yak basketball 30 for 30 Wednesday.
Oh, hell yes.
I'll have to sit down.
They've been doing a full-fledged documentary.
Yeah, you won't need to help Conor.
Look at this thing.
Oh, okay.
So that will be sick.
So Wednesday, make sure you tune in for that.
And then following week
we got to figure out our
Christmas special Tyler O'Day's
yeah
a ghost of Christmas past
do you think he can invite us to the Empire State Building
we can do something there
he specifically said no
fair enough
he does wield that power
that is probably the least consequential power of all time.
It's like, hey, if you ever want to see the Empire State Building.
Well, he knows if one of us goes up there, one of us will jump.
Yes, without a doubt.
On the wheel.
You'd die, but you'd be immortal.
Oh, for sure.
We also got to coordinate dates because it was the mentalist that was going to come in.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
How long, if one of us died, how long do you think we would act sad for?
It depends on who it is.
Okay.
You, Brandon.
Three days?
No.
Would we take the next show off?
No, I don't think so.
I think you'd probably take a week off.
Oh, I don't think so.
If you died on a Thursday, I think we would.
You wouldn't do a show on a Friday.
Would you trend?
I don't think so.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
That would be the worst.
If you died on a Thursday, I think Friday would memorialize you,
and then Monday back to business.
I think it'd be over a week.
But see, I could die at any point, but if somebody like Sass died,
it would be shocking.
It would be a tragedy.
You're right.
It would be a tragedy.
It would still have a change. That would trend for a week.
At least.
With BarstoolSports.com, do we have
a page made for somebody's black and white
photo? Oh, Jeff.
He has everyone? I always wonder
who would blog my death. Probably Chaps,
I guess. Yeah.
Pat will probably jump on it.
It would be funny if Rico was like
there's one of my 15 vlogs this week.
Kate died.
What if it wasn't in the top
five for more than like an hour?
My ghost would be devastated.
Or if like a smoke show blog followed you
so everybody's commenting like
corny shit on your
obituary.
It would be fitting though. It would be right.
Yeah. Wow. It would be fitting though. It would be right. Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
That would be weird if we had a.
I feel like that's been talked about a lot.
Yeah.
Probably just spin the wheel.
I mean the odds.
I think it's a common thought to have.
Yeah.
To wonder about.
It's funny.
Whenever I'm trending on Twitter,
it's really only because there's like,
there's a constant brush
fire of people talking about
lions and tigers.
If you click on it...
It'll be like Big Cat 75,000 tweets.
Yeah, and then it's like a few that are mine
and then everything else is like,
we need to protect our Big Cat population
and shit like that.
Have you guys seen this account on Instagram
that they have a puma?
No? No?
No.
Like as a pet?
As a pet?
As a pet?
I follow a couple that are like that.
Oh, it enrages me.
Yeah.
The puma is so overweight.
Oh, it's a fat puma?
Well, it's just like, and it hates them.
It hates them?
It's always just hissing at them.
Yeah, like terrorizes the family.
Yeah.
Nothing fun about it.
There's no reason to hate them. Oh, this is the puma. Yeah. Nothing fun about it. There's no reason to have it.
Oh, this is the puma?
That is a fat puma.
That's a lynx, baby.
Is it?
I think a puma's the same as a cougar.
Oh!
Oh, oh, oh.
I don't like that.
I think that's just the noise they make.
I don't like that ear.
And he is fat.
He's fat as fuck.
Oh, yeah.
He's cute, though.
Ew.
No.
Why would you want that?
You don't want that. It's also like... That'd be awesome to have that. Is it a as fuck. Oh, he's cute, though. Ew. No. Why would you want that? You don't want that.
It's also like...
He could.
That'd be awesome to have that.
Is it a Puma?
No, dude.
A regular cat can fuck you up a little bit.
I thought Pumas were black.
That's too good.
I don't know.
What is this?
Panthers and Pumas are the same, aren't they?
Is this a Panther?
That's a Puma.
Panthers and Pumas are not the same.
Pumas and Cougars are the same.
Yes.
How did he not tear his ACL?
Or is a Puma a Bobcat?
Bobcat is not a Puma.cat bob wait what what's a mountain line
i don't know this shit pisses me off this is fucked up yeah it pisses me off yeah you shouldn't have a there's no reason to have that puma shouldn't be going in the litter box no i i
gotta be honest that's kind of badass yeah but why is it bad i don't know but the fuck you have
have a dog why not have one of them i mean at least that one's not morbidly obese.
Yeah.
The other one, it's like they're just ruining his life or her life.
What is going on?
It's crazy.
Ow!
Not actually a bite.
Yeah, but it will kill you if it gets mad.
Right.
Yeah.
It's basically like the people who-
It's not going to get mad because it's domesticated to you.
People who own monkeys.
Oh, those animals like that are never fully domesticated.
The cats and dogs are, yes.
Cats and dogs?
Yeah, but that's a cat.
People who own monkeys, they're just waiting for the day that the monkey wakes up on the
wrong side of the bed and rips their face off.
Remember that monkey tore the lady's face off?
Yeah, right.
That's just monkeys.
Her whole face.
That's the only way it ends.
Yeah, that's their big thing.
There's no other conclusion to owning a monkey.
It's also just like, wouldn't you rather just live in the wild and have a normal life?
Yes.
So weird.
I don't know.
I bet there's some cats that live in the wild that don't have as good a life as that cat right there.
Yeah, if I was an animal, I'd want to be in a zoo.
I mean, that cat's living a fucking good life.
I don't know about that.
I'd want to be on like a...
No, you'd want to be on a farm.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
We have a cat.
We have a pain in the ass
Whoa
Oh he's got the skitters
Holy shit
Oh wow that's awesome
No that's a pain in the ass
But like cats like
Also like a lynx
shouldn't be living
in like an apartment
Well no
in an apartment
correct
Imagine walking
to the bathroom
in the dark at night
knowing that like
an animal that loves
stalking like that
is coming for your ankle
It's like no
fuck no
Ugh
That's really fucked up I might have to add it to my wheel stalking like that is coming for your ankles. No, fuck no.
That's a really fucked up.
I might have to add it to my wheel.
Live with a puma. We have to do a whole show
with one in here.
Release a puma.
You gotta live with a cougar.
Already do.
Say live in Brandon's
house or actually live with a cougar.
She was really nice, Brandon.
She was.
She was so lovely.
Very sweet.
Looks here right in the eye.
What was your favorite part of her?
I think her hair was really nice.
It was.
It was really silky, nice.
She had good style, too.
Did you put your hands through it?
No, no, no.
You can tell silky by look.
Yeah.
What would happen if we were at the invitation and you just go back to the green room and Jerry's
just softly stroking your wife's hair?
It's changed now that he has an eye patch.
If he had an eye patch and was doing it, I was like, I can't do
anything about it. Yeah, he's a badass.
He's just a bad motherfucker.
Okay, so really, real talk.
I'm not going to say
the actual.
Me and my wife were sitting there on one couch, and Jerry was on the other couch,
and my wife said, can I ask him about his tattoos?
And they had a conversation about Jerry's tattoos.
Yeah, they did.
I'm not going to tell what your tattoos mean or anything like that.
Your wife, kind of off-color, backhand flirted with me.
Really? How?
What she told you.
If I cut my hair and cleaned up, she'd be curious what I looked like.
That's right.
That's like when people are like,
you'd be attractive if you lost 40 pounds.
This was two hours after the event.
That's right.
I had her perplexed.
On the mind.
It was a great time.
A lot of fun.
What did she say? It was definitely great time. It was a lot of fun. One bit. A lot of fun. What did she say?
It was definitely something like that.
Hmm.
Who's to say?
I just had an architect's meeting for the Chicago office and the basketball court, and
I was like, we had a real talk being like, we're going to probably just have to lock
away the balls from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Yeah, because people can't.
You can pop a shot here. a.m. to like 5 p.m. Yeah, because like- People can't- You can pop a shot here.
Right, right.
And like we did a 45-minute dress rehearsal
for the Invitational
and I couldn't go five minutes
to take a jumper.
Yeah.
I know.
You can't-
I think it would get the creative juices flowing.
That hour we had of just us and the balls.
Oh, so much fun.
That was great.
That was maybe my favorite hour at Barstool.
Yeah.
That was fun.
Yeah.
I will say that it was not, or maybe you have a different perspective because you guys were trying to work and do film stuff.
But I thought it was very quiet.
I don't know if that was the balls or maybe it was just the arena.
It was a big arena, yeah.
Yeah, I think it's just because it's so big.
I want to just buy an arena just for myself.
Buy the heat arena.
Yeah.
Although I bet you the utility bill is probably pretty bad.
Oh, yeah.
That's where they get you.
How cool would that be?
Be like, you want to just go to my arena today?
That would be amazing.
Yeah.
It doesn't have to be that big.
Buy the Beckley Armory.
What's that?
I think that would be a good starter purchase.
Where's that?
It's in Beckley, West Virginia.
Oh, okay.
What is it? Armory? It's an Beckley, West Virginia. Okay. What is it?
Armory?
It's an armory, but arena.
Smaller arena.
All right.
I think you can afford it, do some good things with it.
I'm in.
Yeah.
Do you want to try to get to the next step?
Yeah.
All right.
Post all the rough and rowdies there.
Oh, that's cool.
That is cool. Oh, he wants it oh shit i want that i want that yeah i think you can have it if you really want it who plays there
i don't even know it's a tech on the court wvu tech they might but they're not in Beckley. What's in Beckley? New River Gorge?
It's by the New River Gorge.
But, yeah, I don't...
God knows.
What's going on there?
I get it.
Just do a basketball tournament there every year.
And if you had an arena in southern West Virginia,
that's good for doomsday prepping too.
Yeah, that's true.
And it could just be the home of Ruff and Rowdy.
Actually, yeah.
There we go.
Yeah, but you don't want to put events there
because you just want to be able to hang out.
There should be a couple events to make the money to pay for the rent.
If you want to be financially sound about it, sure.
Then just go hang out.
Shoot around.
I like hanging out better.
WVU Tech plays there.
They need more.
Not anymore.
Not when I own that place.
They're out.
See ya.
I don't like the name of that school.
West Virginia University Tech.
It should be West Virginia Tech University.
Although it would be sick to buy the whole school
and then just cheat and get the best basketball team ever.
Now we're talking.
So you want to be Duke?
Yeah, if we just won national titles.
I think they're NAIA.
I think you could create a powerhouse.
Yeah, we'll be up to D1 soon with enough funding.
All right, should we spin the wheel?
What is this?
Spin the fucking wheel.
No way.
Here we go.
Here we go, boy.
Very exciting.
Oh, boy.
This is dope.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
This is the first natural.
Exciting.
The first natural.
I hope mine doesn't get hit because I still need to do more.
Is it still death?
It's all death and chimpalupas.
Okay.
Oh, man.
Who had the most positive wheel?
Jerry have a wheel?
Jerry's got a wheel.
Jay's was just good-ass time.
Is that one that's here or everyone? No, everyone. Everyone. Jerry have a wheel? Jerry's got a wheel. Jay's was just good ass time. Is it one that's here
or everyone?
No, everyone.
Everyone.
Jerry too.
Jerry's just got two options.
Oh, that's get and give money?
Give him a thousand
and he gives me some Baccarat.
540.
540.
Yeah.
Oh. Oh, no.
No, it's TJ.
You got it last time.
This is fun.
All right, TJ's wheel.
We're just getting deeper and deeper in the wheel because then when we do this, we then have to spin for names.
Don't be milk names. Yeah.
Don't be milk revenge.
Yeah, no milk revenge.
Classic wet is way worse.
That means everyone except one person.
I'd rather be wet than puke.
I'm so cold today, too.
Oh, this is going to suck.
I don't think I can get my eye wet. I did my hair today.
You can get your eye wet.
This is a tough one.
DJ.
Oh, no. Oh, TJ. Oh, no.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
Gaming Day.
What is that, TJ?
What is that?
Bring in some games.
Yay.
I was like, that was very stressful.
Can I bring in the Wii or the 64 or something like that?
Should we do it tomorrow with everything we got going on?
Would it be a good addition?
I don't want to miss gaming day.
Okay, we can do gaming day next week.
There's a guy in here named Ace, big Yak fan.
He gave me $100.
He just Venmoed me to bring in a bottle of Henny tomorrow.
Oh, is that?
Please stop doing that.
Wait, you can't bring in Henny because that's Kyle can, right?
He has US?
Kyle can.
Kyle can for Mexico, Canola, Alvarez.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm going to bring in a bunch of nice bottles of French wine.
Oh, that'll be fun.
Yeah.
I'm doing Serbian brandy.
Ooh.
Ready fancy.
Yeah, I need to look up.
I need to do my research.
Australia?
Australia.
That is good wine.
Fosters?
Yeah, Fosters.
Fosters would be the big cans.
Yeah, the big cans are awesome.
Oh, that would be fun. All right all right yeah i'll bring in fosters and then i'll bring in a argentinian food and then my presentation on
europe beef argentinian beef yeah when uh when does this tournament get started saturday sunday
sunday i want to say sunday i'm boycotting i just watched the doc last night the fifa doc
it's not good they They are bad people.
Oh, yeah.
They're bad people.
Bad people.
Donnie and PFT are going.
There's a lot that can...
Donnie's there for nine days.
There's a lot you can get in trouble for.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Both of them are very horny guys.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're, yeah.
Very horny.
You're not allowed to wear shorts.
What?
Really?
I don't think you can wear shorts.
Hmm. You can't drink there either right?
you can but it's really expensive
is that a real thing or is that
because I went to France
it's very hard to get alcohol anywhere
you can only do it at hotel bars
what's the temps there?
and during certain times too I think
I went to France and I read before
like it's your
only tourists wear shorts
and so I wore pants and everyone was wearing shorts.
I feel like such an idiot.
This is like against the law.
Oh, yeah.
That's different.
Wow.
It's not custom.
And the living quarters.
Are there any women there?
No.
Not really.
It's guys only.
Guys only country.
Yep.
It's kind of cool.
The Yak or Purdue
Yeah
It's great
Just guys being dudes
Purdue guys only?
No
But it's got like
It's
It's like 70% male
Maybe it's secretly
Just rules
Yeah
Bigger brains
Right
Maybe it's awesome
And like they're just lying
Like they're doing
Like the reverse
Keep everybody out
Korea yeah Doha looks sick What's Doha? them and like they're just lying like they're doing like the reverse everybody out korea yeah
doha looks sick what's doha that's a city in qatar yeah it's the capital how many cities
are there can i see a map of qatar i'm gonna do shady rays for qatar they should get some shady
rays go to shadyrays.com use code yak for 50 off your two plus pairs of polarized sunglasses if
you don't love them, exchange them
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right on you. And they also provide 10 meals to fight hunger in America with every order and have donated over 20 meals, million meals to date.
Look good in your shades and feel good by making an impact.
Can I see Qatar?
Oh, that was cool.
Okay.
It's like a tiny little nugget attached to Saudi Arabia.
So, oh, oh, I didn't know that was Qatar.
So are all the stadiums are right next to each other?
How big is this?
Is this Rhode Island?
The country?
I think it has like a million and a half people in it.
I'm talking about length, top to bottom.
I think it's that big.
It's tiny.
Probably Rhode Island-ish.
So they pretty much put the stadiums around the Doha area to make it easier for people to move around.
How many stadiums did they build?
I believe there's like eight or so.
By they, we're talking slaves.
Yeah, who died.
A lot of them died.
It was nice.
The U.S. soccer team played with some of the workers.
Did they?
They were just like, yeah, let's kick the ball around.
All your friends are dead.
Also, our U.S. patches are like rainbow.
God damn it.
Woke. It are like rainbow. God damn it. Woke.
It's four times.
I love that because people are going to get upset about it.
They have no intention of watching Axl.
It's four times the size of Rhode Island.
You guys are stealing my presentation.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
I forgot you had a guitar.
All right, forget it.
Forget it.
Yeah, good points.
There's already a point shaving allegation against the guitar team. Oh, good points. True. There's already a point-shaving allegation against the guitar team.
Oh, no way.
I'm going to try to make my own PowerPoint.
What do you think?
I've never, no, I don't know how to work PowerPoint.
My best team's best player isn't playing.
It's not good for me.
Not good at all.
Yeah, and the FIFA documentary, guitar pretty much.
Great for me. That's my routine. Yeah, and the FIFA documentary, Qatar pretty much. Great for me.
That's my routine.
Wait, you'd win one nothing?
I'd hope so.
So we should all bet that?
That would be cool if it came true and we won money.
It's passive, too.
Like, we didn't have anything to do with it.
Not at all.
We don't get in trouble, right?
No.
I'd hope not.
I got something.
Okay.
Yeah.
We played Oregon Trail last week, right?
Yeah.
They released a new Oregon Trail on November 14th.
Whoa.
And what is the modern version?
What?
Is that the first time in how long?
I don't know, but...
Look at the graphics.
Hey, what's today's date?
Oh, it's the 17th.
It's the 17th.
Oh!
They release a new Oregon Trail.
Can we play it?
We're going to have to...
Yeah, I mean...
Yeah, we can play it on the stream.
From what I've read, it's $30, and it looks like it's about a five-hour campaign.
Okay, so we're going to have to play it.
Can we at least buy it now and just see what it looks like?
Yeah, we can buy it now.
Oh, look at it.
Oh, maybe for your guys' 12-hour stream or whatever.
Oh, my God.
This is cool.
Wait, we got to play Oregon Trail next week or the week after.
All five hours.
That girl was hedonistic?
Online, maybe we do this as part of 12-hour day.
Daniel?
Daniel?
They're combining names, too.
You're not doing this right now, TJ, right?
No, this is a trailer. Can we buy it? Sure. of names too. You're not doing this right now, TJ, right?
No, this is a trailer.
But I'm just showing you. Can we buy it?
Sure.
Maybe we do this
as part of the 12-hour day
if it takes five hours
to quit.
Steven, you want to
grab my wallet
off my desk?
I got a page.
All right, Brandon's got it.
I'll get it.
Fuck it.
Oh, so we can watch people actually starve in this one
so yeah you're getting skinnier and stuff
yeah
that's pretty cool
Jerry you ready to hunt?
ready
I'm just salivating at the chance to
well I bet hunting is so much better in this one too
how much is it?
30
are you kidding me?
I know
well it's working
it's expensive as fuck
huh
oh man what else is going on boys and girls? It's working. Fuck. Huh. Oh, man.
What else is going on, boys and girls?
Jerry, have any new ventures or hobbies?
No, just fragrance right now.
Something.
Just fragrance.
My fragrance doesn't last, man.
I know, that's my problem.
Find the wrong one.
That's my problem.
Find the wrong stuff.
Smells good when it's on me, but then gone.
Gone, yeah.
Because you've got to find oil-based, not alcohol-based, right?
Alcohol-based, yeah.
Some you want to spray on your clothes and some skin.
What the hell?
How do I know?
I spray on both.
I don't care.
What are your thoughts on a scent that could be for male or female?
A lot of the Mason Margella scents are.
Yeah?
A lot of the Tom Ford scents are, yeah.
There's this one called Jazz Club.
It's really good.
I just like the name of that.
Yeah, it's really good.
Every now and then I spray Pat's Cologne
and then my perfume on top of it.
Really?
Yeah.
I like mix it up a little bit.
Just for something fun.
Yeah.
It doesn't get crazy.
It is fun.
It is fun.
Yeah?
Purchased?
Nice.
Hell yeah.
Pretty exciting.
Five hours.
I kind of want Jerry to shoot with his eye.
I kind of want to play.
I think it'll be off by...
Let's just take a look.
Let's take a look.
Let's just take a look.
Let's just start.
Let's just take a look.
This is how the first one happened
where we just teased everyone.
Imagine the celebrity that'll come in if we're
playing the new organ. That's true.
Nickelback will finally show up.
Or Nickelback.
Yeah.
Are they here now?
Can we look in the KFC room?
Nickelback.
Three?
Oh. In this room? Who? Nickelback. Is Nickelback supposed to be on today? Three?
In this room?
Oh.
We have a mic in front of you, Steven.
Sorry. I've heard that they're coming at three o'clock.
That's cool.
I hope they bring a guitar or something.
I feel like they would have to, right?
I don't know.
How many Nickelbacks are there?
There's like five of them, right? Four, five?
Four of them?
It would make sense if it would be five.
Frank can do his joke right to their face.
Oh, man, I need that.
Is he here?
I haven't seen him.
Yeah, he's here.
You haven't heard him?
I haven't been over there today.
I haven't heard his Nickelback joke, but...
You haven't heard his Nickelback joke?
No.
Oh, my God, Kate.
Not his or really a joke.
Okay.
You'll love it.
Right?
I hope it just infuriates them.
Yeah, I hope they don't warm out.
Imagine if they, like, started to physically assault Frank.
You motherfucker.
What did you just say?
Gave the Nickelback?
I don't know how Nickelback got their name.
Wait, how? I don't even remember. I don't know how Nickelback got their name. Wait, how?
I don't even remember.
I don't either.
He tells jokes so much that you just, he has his go-tos and you just forget them.
Yeah, they're good every time.
Good every time.
How long have we been without a tank Thursday?
Oh, months month now.
Yeah.
Damn.
Damn.
What else is going on?
Oh, you gave a good toast this morning.
Yeah.
Felt good.
That coffee's so good.
It is good.
You really like it?
Really.
Thank you.
I can't really drink coffee because it gives me the jitters, but I drank it and I was like...
It's good.
The thing is, I love coffee.
Yeah.
I just can't drink it
because it makes me...
It is good coffee.
...heart palpitations,
but it's good as fuck, yeah.
That was very important to me
because I didn't want to just...
Yeah.
I went for one sip
and then the next thing I know...
Gary's mom likes it.
I fondled the beans.
I'm a big connoisseur.
You did fondle the beans.
Put my hands in all of them.
Every bean that you drink,
still blue coffee I've touched.
That's true.
Did you hear what Mincy said about it?
What did he say?
He said, you know, I love it.
I had two cups this morning.
I just can't wait for the iced coffee to come out
because I'm more of an iced coffee guy.
Yeah.
So Mincy put ice in it.
Next level. He doesn't have the brain that you have
TJ
Mincy
What they do just like lattes and stuff upstairs
Yeah they did like they had a couple baristas
Doing uh
All kinds of stuff which I
I'm so stupid I was like wait how are you making espresso
From this like well it's just beans
Do it differently Yeah I didn't know I'm so stupid. I was like, wait, how are you making espresso from this? Well, it's just beans. Do it differently.
Yeah.
I didn't know.
I'm dumb.
Is it a different bean?
No, I don't think so.
I have no idea how that works.
Isn't espresso just concentrated more?
Maybe, yeah.
Concentrated?
Oh, that's why it's in that little tiny.
I think so.
You were just in charge of following.
There's a barista strike going on, isn't there?
What?
Today.
They're fed up.
Where?
These guys upstairs, scabs.
Wow. Wow.
Wait.
Is that one company or is it all baristas across the-
I think it's Starbucks.
Starbucks.
Oh, so now's the time to strike.
Yeah, you're good.
If anyone wants to be a barista for me, free Oregon Trail Pass.
You get to play the new game for free.
I will buy it.
$30. That's in place of your health benefits
Yeah
Because there are doctors on the tree
Did you buy it TJ?
So the Steam version
Is not on Mac
But the Apple Arcade version was free
What?
Oh
I want the same thing
I guess I don't know Holy shit Oh what the fuck was free. What? Oh. Oh. I want the same thing.
I guess.
I don't know.
Holy shit.
It's got 4.8 stars.
Oh, what the fuck?
Uh-oh.
Oh, no.
It's going to be way more sad when we die.
Probably going to be graphic. It's going to be graphic as fuck.
Very graphic.
Oh, I want it to be graphic.
I want to really see the broken bones.
Do you ever get murdered on the Oregon Trail?
On the actual game?
We got robbed. I don't the Oregon Trail? We got robbed.
We got robbed.
I feel like on the actual Oregon Trail
murder was a problem.
I often think about how easy
it probably was to murder back then.
It would have...
I think I would have been a murderer.
It's impossible to play the Red Dead Redemption
game without just murdering.
Credit to the lawmakers.
They've made murder a good deterrence.
Decentivized.
Right.
If there was just one guy, like a sheriff, all you had to worry about was a sheriff maybe getting you.
You could just murder him.
Pre-DNA time.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, that and robbing a bank.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, anybody could do it. I don't know why you would work at a bank back time. Oh, my God. Yeah, that and robbing a bank. Oh, yeah. Yeah, anybody could do it.
I don't know why you would work at a bank back then.
Oh, my God, no.
Seems like that was a...
Or a stagecoach.
They paid you a lot.
To work at a bank.
Yeah.
To get robbed a lot.
A lot.
Say they, who do you mean?
Well, people that run it.
Whoever that may be.
Okay, Kanye. No, I didn't... Whoever that may be Okay Kanye Somebody had to run it
Has anything happened with him?
A lot of disdain on the they
I guess you're right
I guess you're right
Oh no
Fuck
You know I don't think...
He's just out there being crazy.
I haven't even heard of anything.
Yeah, he's faded out.
All right.
Murder.
The Idaho one is bone chilling.
Which one?
That's disturbing.
Oh, I know.
What happened?
Three, four Idaho students murdered, and they haven't found.
What?
No.
I don't even know if they have leads.
There's one lead.
Sounds like they do have leads, but they're being quiet about it.
We found a picture of the guy, and they think it's a lead.
He was following the girls at a food truck.
They all in the same house, four people with a knife.
All in the same house?
All in the same house.
Oh, I just.
Oh, look.
That's horrifying.
They have a video of this guy like following the two of the girls that are at a food truck.
And there's this guy kind of in the shadows just everywhere they go.
He kind of is like following them a little bit.
I know.
He said it was a crime of passion.
So they have leads.
So they must.
There was people in the house
that made it out.
Really?
Where was this?
Idaho.
Was it like a university?
Yeah.
Jesus.
Fucking crazy.
When was that?
The other weekend, right?
Same day.
Oh, really?
I thought this was the UVA one.
Yeah.
Fuck. That's so creepy. That's crazy. It thought this was like two days ago. The UVA one. Yeah. Fuck.
That's so creepy.
Yeah, it's crazy.
It's like what Ted Bundy did.
I lived across the street from a bar.
I've talked about this.
In Columbus where this dude disappeared.
That one's the craziest of all time.
He just disappeared?
Yeah, there was one door.
We have footage of him walking in and no.
Nothing else.
Nothing else.
Really?
Yeah.
What?
How? That's the end else. Really? Yeah. What? How?
And that's the end of the trail?
They never found a body?
Now the bar doesn't even exist anymore?
Yeah, it does.
Oh, it does.
In a small?
Yeah, it was the same one.
I believe.
It's creepy as fuck.
Yeah.
It's wild stuff.
Is there a video of him walking in?
Yeah.
Yikes.
Well, then there was video of him walking out or something.
No, there isn't.
Oh.
Somebody got rid of it then.
I think that's probably the mystery.
He had to go somewhere.
Yeah, right.
That's why we're talking.
But all I'm saying is...
I don't think you understand what happened here.
All I'm saying is we're just missing All I'm saying is Why we're talking
We're just missing the video
No
There is no video
Of him walking out
There's video of the whole night
None walking out
That's scary
Yeah
Fuck
The bar is cool too
You take an escalator up to it
What?
Chili's in Tampa?
Kinda like that
You turn left
It's a movie theater
You turn right It's's a movie theater.
You turn right, it's the bar.
Oh, so this is a mall?
Kind of like a... Mall-ish?
Ish.
How long ago was this?
When it happened, it was as soon as it opened, I think, for him.
But when I lived there, it was just an urban legend.
Not urban legend, but a tale.
Yeah.
Should we watch the video?
Maybe we should play a
video game?
Don't you think the
steps at the top of an
escalator and bottom
should be, like,
sturdier?
I feel like they're
made of a very thin
metal.
What are you talking
I don't think they're
about right.
Well, have you seen
what's underneath of
those grates?
Yeah.
It's like a human
grinder.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But, like, I would
feel a lot better if
it was, like, stone or something. I would feel a lot better if it was stone.
I'm still scared that my shoelaces are going to get caught.
As a kid, that was a tough year.
I still hop over.
I'm also afraid, especially at the transit Penn Station,
because there's like 50 people on it,
that the engine stopping it from just collapsing is going to go,
and we're all just going to like, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like whatever's holding it from going full speed
down. One of the most horrifying
things is the guy falling into the elevator
in New York. What?
Oh yes. Dying. I know.
Fell into an elevator? The door opened
and he stepped on. Was he
looking at his phone? Now I forget.
There's a bunch. There's a ton.
Have you ever seen the gap between the...
I don't know.
He fell into something.
Have you ever seen that pipe that's underwater
that has the insane suction,
like a crab walked by and it just disintegrated it
and a diver got stuck in the pipe
and just got sucked into it?
Died?
Pull up the crab getting sucked into a pipe.
It's insane.
What are we doing right now?
It is scorpion. are we doing right now?
It is scorpion.
We're doing scorpion. It is scorpion.
A real scorpion.
We're making ourselves feel more comfortable with our current state.
I think we're making ourselves feel worse.
I feel much more comfortable knowing I'm not in a pipe right now.
The suction on this pipe is insane.
You guys remember when, was that, do you guys ever hear when people would be like
don't go near the
don't go near the filter
at the bottom of the pool
yeah
suck you
that final destination
yeah
that actually happened
because I went
I used to go down
and tap it
when no one was looking
badass
I always heard
the hot tub urban myth
where like
a girl's hair
got stuck
gets sucked into the hot tub
like rips her head off.
Yeah, something like that.
I think that was just like parents making it up.
I've also heard like 80% of the stuff in a filter in a hot tub is shit.
Like human shit.
It's probably a lot of piss.
You remember, do you guys ever watch other people's shit?
Yeah, like this crab, it walked by it and just.
Oh!
And that little crack, and it could suck a diver up.
Oh my God, and that little crack.
It's such insane pressure.
What is it sucking?
What is in the pipe normally?
I have no idea.
A diver got stuck.
Oh, my God.
Whoa.
Oh, my God.
You guys ever watch Ghostbusters as a kid?
Never.
I've never seen Ghostbusters.
Oh, I just did the puzzle, but never watched it.
Sludge coming out of the bathtub, that fucked me up for a lot of years.
I can't remember what that was.
Are you sure?
I don't think that's Ghostbusters.
I'm pretty sure it was.
The Sludge?
Isn't there like a whole movie?
What is the whole movie with just the big ball of slime?
Isn't it called Slime?
That's called The Blob?
The Blob, yeah.
Ghostbusters.
No, you might be right
you're not talking about the movie with Dan Aykroyd
yes you are
there is I think you might be right
actually
that would suck if I was wrong
and yeah I think so
Slime in the Bathtub Attack
yeah that scared me so bad
Yeah
Oh my god that
I'm looking at right now
I'm scared again
It's a little baby
You play that scene?
Ghostbusters or Bathwater?
Ghostbusters 2
Ghostbusters 2
Can't play it?
I never saw Ghostbusters 2
Oh
I don't think I did either
It scared me
Still scared
Yeah anything that can suck you in
It's not ideal yeah agree
to disagree manning hey man you were talking about national park deaths this morning yeah i've just
read this big article about death in national parks because there's like a bunch of like death
zones yeah yeah yeah um i forget the one with the most deaths but yosemite
is way way up there uh glaciers way up there but um people trying to take selfies with bears and
moose and stuff like that but then like youtubers going to the waterfalls there was this one
where the youtubers were like dicking around on the edge the girl fell in and the two guys went
together and in front of everybody all three of them just went over the head.
We are on Scorpio.
I know, sorry.
No, no, no, that's not fine. We had a close moose encounter
in Alaska. We were wearing orange hunting
pants and we were in this reserve and it was
getting aggressive and coming at us
in our cart. And so the woman was like,
I've never seen this before, but you guys need to be very slow
and take your pants off. We had to do
that. Brandon was like, wait, moose attack people?
I was like, oh, moose fuck people up.
They're huge.
Big time.
They're so fucking big.
And fast.
I was baffled the first time I saw a moose.
A video of the moose running by the interstate, keeping up with the car in five foot snow
was insane.
Oh, yeah.
This is going to sound crazy, but I think I could fuck up a moose.
I agree.
I really do. I could fuck up a moose. I agree. I really do.
I could fuck up a moose.
I can't go out by a moose.
Yeah, I would just go low on him.
I'd go low on him.
You would not.
Yeah, I would.
I'd go low on his ass.
If you hit a moose with a car, you die.
Right, I know.
A moose walks away unscathed.
Oh, I get it, but I'm saying not even in a car.
I'm just like, if a moose comes at me, I'd just fucking tackle him on his little bony ankle.
I think I could at least evade him. No. Show me a moose., if a moose comes at me, I just fucking tackle him on his little bony ankle. I think I could at least evade him.
No. Show me a moose.
I think a moose...
If you had a knife, maybe.
No, I'm talking just...
What would a knife do? They're pure muscles.
I think your best chance is to get away.
You would not even... What about just tripping it?
Just walking, just sidestepping
it and just putting your foot out.
Look how big a moose is. It would stomp your ass out.
Yeah, look at that.
It doesn't even come up to its butthole.
It doesn't measure how big my heart is.
Right, and I would just.
You do have an enormous heart.
Yeah, it's true.
8'11".
Not good.
10 feet.
Yeah, exactly.
Why are we using the tallest human for this?
You ever heard the saying, big tree fall hard?
Wait, they used an 8'11 man for that picture?
Why?
Why?
You don't think you could just kick...
Show me a picture of a moose.
Can you just Google...
There was an 8-11 man?
Can you Google man fights moose to see if it's happened?
Oh, 7-11.
Look at that moose.
You've got to stop, man.
You wouldn't.
No way.
I think you'd get TKO'd.
His ankles aren't as skinny as I thought.
What about girl moose?
Without the horns. Moose your ass beat by a Joey, bro. I think you'd get TKO'd. His ankles aren't as skinny as I thought. What about girl moose? Without the horns.
Moose your ass beat by a joey, Brandon.
All right, I might take back what I said.
I'm going to maybe take back.
This is a moose?
I could fuck that moose up.
That's not a baby moose.
What did she...
No, what are they doing?
Hey, go low.
Go low?
That's a girl moose.
See, holding.
See there, a girl moose.
Yeah, what is that?
I'm not really trying to watch this thing just get speared in the head.
Yeah, he's not going to spear it, is he?
It's on YouTube.
It's got three million views.
What does this guy do?
I feel like he's about to spear his ass.
Oh, God.
I don't want to watch the spearing.
I hope the moose wins.
What is he doing?
Oh, see?
Look at that moose, the pussy.
That's a baby moose.
That was a tiny moose.
You guys are scared of a pussy moose like that?
Jay, look at that moose running in snow. It was like insane. I don't like the tiny moose. You guys are scared of a pussy moose like that? Jay, look at that moose running in snow.
It was like insane.
I don't like the orca video.
All right, let me just ask you this.
Do you think you could trip a moose?
No.
No.
It would probably break your leg.
If you tripped a moose, your leg would rip off of the body.
I guess this is where I'm built different.
No, your leg would be pulled off your body.
Oh, my God.
That's a lot of snow.
Look at that thing barreling through.
Holy shit.
They're monsters.
If he falls, he's going to be so hurt.
They don't fall.
Because I'm not around.
You're right.
I'm convinced now.
Challenge a moose right now.
I'll call out any moose.
They're so fucking big.
Any moose that wants this, I'm here.
You know where to find me.
I think a moose is big to the point like if you had a gun, you still would be in a lot of trouble.
Nah.
Depends on the gun.
Yeah, I can see this laughing at you.
Jay, never give me that laugh again.
Yeah.
That was so funny.
If you have a gun.
Patronizing.
If you have a gun, you think you'd lose to a moose with a gun?
It depends on the gun.
If you had a 9mm pistol.
You could shoot him from 30 yards away, so you don't have to get close to him.
Yeah, but the thing is, it's not going to die instantly.
They're huge.
I was watching this Outlaw Ranger.
You know those Ranger cop shows where it's the cops way out in the boonies,
kind of, that do the animal enforcement?
I don't know what you call them.
Over the weekend, a guy went to the enforcement and was like, my neighbor's been bragging about killing a moose with a 22 which
is illegal i guess you have to use a higher caliber like way higher because a 22 normally
just like oh it's like a big deal that he killed this moose with a 22 bullet yeah you could do it
i'm gonna say i could beat up a moose the beauty of all these things is it's never gonna happen
but if it did it would be that moose would be fucked.
Somebody's going to bring a moose
to a meet and greet
and be like,
all right, do your thing.
And I'll fuck it up.
Yeah, all right.
We wouldn't be able to beat up
most animals.
Name an animal.
All right, most animals.
I mean, you're talking about bugs.
Yeah, name an animal.
There's a lot of small animals out there.
Obviously, I'm not talking about bugs.
Obviously, he's not talking about bugs.
There's a lot of small animals out there.
Usually, most animals. What's your winning percentage
against mammals?
Mammals? 75%.
Wow.
No.
What are mammals?
Maybe 20.
75%. Horse.
Horse.
Horse. Easy.
Horse goes to kick me. Horse easy. No way. Horse easy? Easy, easy.
Horse goes to kick me?
I'm with them now.
Horse a fucking horse. Horse goes to kick me,
I grab his leg,
and I just flip him upside down.
He'd kick you before you even know he's kicking you.
They just kick you right in the head.
I realize now my brain is a little bit cartoonish right now.
Elephant, hippo.
Elephant.
Those dogs.
I'm just going to say.
Those dogs.
Okay, now this is where you guys are going to say I'm crazy, but.
No.
I'm quicker than an elephant.
No, you're not.
No.
Yeah, I am.
No.
I just run behind it, pull its tail.
Yeah, that would bring it to its knees.
Maybe just bring it.
I'm afraid of mice.
Cinnamon, put it in its nose.
That would fuck it up.
Sneezes.
Hey, you do have the brain power.
Punch it in the face.
I think you'd have a better chance of pulling off one of those moves where the shark is coming
after you and grab it by its nose and
redirect it and coming
even close to beating a
moose in a fight. Did you see that video?
Yeah, the tiger shark. The woman's about
to get in the water and all of a sudden the shark
comes up and she pushes it back down
with her foot. And they just don't know what
they have no idea what happened. The shark is like
well that was weird. Yeah.
They just swim away.
I would never do that.
No.
I would.
I don't like the open ocean.
No.
It's horrible.
I can't watch videos of it.
You guys don't believe
in yourself.
No.
God no.
I was going on a big
rabbit hole the other night
of if a silverback
could beat up a grizzly bear.
That would be tough.
And it's
they say a grizzly bear
wins every time.
Oh wow. Wait really? Yeah. Even though a silverback is way stronger. would be tough. And they say a grizzly bear wins every time. Wait, really?
Yeah, even though a silverback is way stronger.
Yeah, I feel like they're way...
They're dumb, too.
They're animals.
I could just outsmart them.
TJ, can you find a random animal generator?
We'll go around and find out if you win or not.
Or we'll do 10 with Dan.
We'll see how many you win.
Do you remember this series?
They did this when we were in high school.
It was most Deadliest Animal, and they pitted all the animals in simulations against each other.
Oh, I do remember that, yeah.
And the winner of it was a polar bear.
I believe that.
Oh, yeah.
So, okay.
I don't think I could beat up a polar bear.
Joe Rogan has a crazy clip of the polar bear story.
It's very graphic.
I don't know if you want to play it. I'm being honest. I don't think I could take a polar bear story, it's very graphic. I don't know if you want to play it.
It's pretty cool.
I'm being honest.
I don't think I could take a polar bear.
So polar bears are the toughest bear?
On my best day and his best day, he would be huge.
I didn't know that.
My best day, a polar bear's worst day, I win.
They say if you can see a grizzly bear, you're dead.
Like if you're in eyesight range of it.
All right, wait.
So this is random?
All right, so boom.
I just won all these.
Starfish win?
No, not the Highland Cow.
That guy is not fast.
Highland Cows, yeah, you could probably beat him.
Yeah, but you get so tired.
I don't know if Highland Cows get a great.
All right, so that Highland Cow, I'd grab his horns,
and I'd just fucking twist him.
I think you're winning.
You might be winning 70%.
Yeah, the Starfish has given you fits.
All right, give me another one.
Give me another one.
All right. Cheetah, no. Marmadillo, the starfish has given you fits. All right, give me another one. Give me another one. All right.
Cheetah, no.
Armadillo, yes.
Ebex, yes.
Antelope, yes.
Crocodile.
That was a quick Ebex, yes.
How are you going to catch an Ebex?
They're tiny.
They're so fat.
Crocodile, I'd fuck up.
No, that's like the most vicious.
No, you just get...
It's a dinosaur, Dan.
It can't go lateral.
Crocodiles also like eat humans. Yeah, they like to stay and enjoy. I love this shit. If they have go lateral. Crocodiles also eat humans.
Yeah, they do the spin.
I love this shit.
If they have the advantage.
You guys don't even realize it.
I could just say yes to all of them.
I think you could beat Cheetah.
I know.
I know what you're doing.
It still gets you.
Bored.
It still gets everyone.
This is the oldest trick in the book.
Yeah, and I'm falling for it so hard.
Cheetah, maybe.
No, I'm not talking about animals.
Cheetah, maybe.
Definitely Cheetah.
They're small.
Yeah, I could beat them up. They're not small. I'm seven. I'm five. I'm not talking about animals. Cheetah, maybe. They're definitely cheetah. They're small. Yeah, I could beat them up.
They're not small.
I'm seven.
I'm five.
Six and oh here.
Six and oh here.
Bigger than you think.
Go again.
Elk.
All of those.
Oh, no.
Not elk.
All right.
Dome mouse, yes.
Porcupine, yes.
Dugong, yeah.
Fawn, I would kick that thing in the face.
Skunk, yes.
So the animals just went one and five against me.
One and five against you there.
So elk is a...
Why are they giving us the puts and the animals?
I could beat all of these animals
because there's so many of them.
I'm picturing you fighting a little white pony.
You couldn't beat a new?
I knew you would get...
Where's the new?
Let me see the new.
Third one.
So yeah, basically.
Yeah.
You would get fucked up by that.
That new would fuck your shit in.
What if I just gouged its eye out?
Jumped on the back.
I think the prairie dog would give you more than you expected.
Oh, prairie dog.
I think it'd give you more than you expected.
It's shaped like a football.
You'd go in there thinking it was easy.
You'd go in there thinking it was easy.
You'd be in for more of a battle than you think.
How big do you think a prairie dog is, Brandon?
Not very big. That's why you think it's easy. All're going there thinking it was easy. You'd be in for more of a battle than you think. How big do you think a prairie dog is, Brandon? They're sharp teeth. Not very big.
That's why you think it's easy.
All right, go ahead.
Go again.
It's the same size of a Stella Blue Cog.
Warthog, done.
L.
Done.
L.
Warthog is-
Kunamatata, bro.
L.
Alligator, seal, yes.
You're losing all these.
I'm not.
You don't think I could beat an owl?
No, I don't.
I would punch an owl and it'd be-
Owls are bad motherfuckers.
Really?
Yeah. With what? Their teeth? Talons. They don't have't. I would punch an owl and it'd be- Owls are bad motherfuckers. Really? Yes.
With what?
Their teeth?
Talons.
They don't have teeth?
Birds.
All right.
I would wreck an owl.
An owl will fuck you up.
The only owl you've ever seen is from a Tootsie Pop commercial.
You think an owl would fuck-
No.
Sorry, you guys, you think you could have a better chance of beating a moose than an owl?
I've long since moved off the moose side.
You've moved off the moose?
I'm more on the animal side now.
An owl would be...
An owl? That's an eagle owl too.
That's a hairy owl. I could beat up an owl.
Maybe I don't know a lot about owls. He has red eyes.
An owl would just be one swift... Find me an owl claw.
One owl would wreck an owl.
Just one... Yeah, right.
Then it's dead.
I just grab the owl by the leg and just smack it. Yeah, they. Then it's dead. Right. Exactly. Some of the best hunters. I just grabbed the owl by the leg and just smacked it.
Yeah, they're the best hunters of hunting other small ass animals.
They hunt mice and shit.
What the fuck is that on the right?
If I get my hands on an owl, it's over.
No copy?
A chevette?
That looks like a little fucking dog.
It might be like a mongoose, though.
That's a tiny warthog, too.
I think a seal would be tougher than you think.
I agree.
This is a losing record.
Nah, I would choke that seal out.
I'd just grab him by the neck.
How would you even choke that seal?
Look how long it is.
It's like a drinking game.
You drink if you have a losing record.
I think my French bulldog would give you a problem.
Polly Peppers?
Yep.
Well, Polly Peppers is a jerk. I think he'd give you a problem. All right agree. Polly Peppers? Yep. Well, Polly Peppers is a jerk.
I think he'd give you a problem.
All right, go ahead.
It's kind of addicting.
Yeah.
L.
L.
No.
An Impala?
A major L.
A chimpanzee would destroy it.
No.
It might be all Ls.
That's the face ripper.
Lamb you could probably be.
Lamb and a dog and a hyena.
A hyena is just a dog.
A dog would fuck you up.
Hyenas are big pussies.
They have to have like 30 of them to kill something. Right. An Impala, come on. That's a hyena. Hyenas just... A dog would fuck you up. Hyenas are big pussy. They have to have like
30 of them to kill something.
Right.
An Impala?
Come on.
That's a shitty car.
Well, it depends.
Actually, I like Impalas.
Addicts?
On each page,
can we give one of the
smaller things rabies?
Oh.
To even the playing field.
None.
Lamb has rabies.
I'd eat that.
We'd be having lamb chops I don't think you'd want to eat it.
It'd add rabies.
Jelly.
Delicious.
I'd make a shirt out of it.
Go one more.
Muskrat, done.
Meerkat, done.
Vakuna, done.
This is your best one.
Badger, done.
Rooster, easy.
Toad, step on it.
Badger would be tough.
Badger would be tough. Badger would be tough. Big or badger? Badger. Badgers, done. Rooster, easy. Toad, step on it. Badger would be tough. Badger would be tough.
Badger would be tough.
How big are badgers?
Badgers are beasts.
How big are they?
Bigger than you'd think.
They're mean.
I wouldn't want to kill a badger.
Yeah, you're a Wisconsin guy.
Right.
You want to kill the rest of these?
Well, no.
You let me finish.
I wouldn't want to kill a badger.
I would kill a badger, though.
I would like to torture a muskrat.
Yeah.
Just have it in a cage.
Yeah, I hate to say it.
I can't help it, but I would like to.
Really torture.
You want to come over and torture my muskrat today?
Oh, man.
You guys are pussies.
Yeah, I think so.
Have you guys seen the...
One of my favorite things to do is watch the videos of the grizzly bears fighting.
Oh, they hit each other.
It is fucking horrifying.
It makes you not want to go into nature.
I don't want to go anyway.
Watch this and you'll never want to go into the woods.
That's the best part about this whole...
I'm a city guy.
Speaking of Harrowell fast.
Where you got to go?
I think my guy's here.
My wrestler's here.
Who is it?
His name is Wardlow.
Wardlow?
He's bearded, huh?
I think he's bearded, yeah.
Big guy?
Adequate size, yeah.
Just guessing wrestler traits.
Tom went 0 for 2.
He's a good talker.
He's good at tumbling.
Oh, could someone else do the other ad before you leave brandon
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Here we go.
Good work, Brandon.
What kind of questions are you asking today?
What kind of questions are you this guy Huh What kind of questions
You asking this guy
I'm asking
Oh it's a big house
Could you beat him up
Big cat
Could you beat him up
I see him
Yeah
No not me
No problem
Shit
He's big
He's a big guy
He's sturdy
He's sturdy
He looks sturdy
Look he's looking at me
Right now He knows He fucking knows I take that bottle That little blue bottle He's a big guy. He's going to do a fucking wrestling move on me. He looks sturdy. Look, he's looking at me right now.
He knows.
He fucking knows.
I take that bottle, that little blue bottle he's got smashed over his head.
What's up now, bitch?
Oh, man.
He's pretty big.
He's a big guy.
He's Jack.
Yeah, he's got no problem with him.
That's a big ass arm.
Pull that little ponytail of his, he'd be squealing.
Right, you beat his brakes off, but it's a hypothetical.
You have no problem.
Right, right, right.
Exactly.
I'll never see him, so I don't have to back this up.
Fuck him up.
How's Oregon Trail looking?
Oh, yeah.
I'm down to play for five hours one day.
Yeah.
I have a milkshake coming. I'm real to play for five hours one day. Yeah. I have a milkshake coming.
I'm real excited about it.
Jerry and I got to go to the pro football show in a few minutes.
Ready for it?
I totally forgot about it, yeah.
So you're ready for it.
Sounds like you're ready.
Yep.
Rock and roll.
Any good picks for tonight that I should take?
I'm probably going to take the Packers.
Are you? I hate them. I like the Titans. Kind of a win tonight that I should take? I'm probably going to take the Packers. Are you?
I hate them.
I like the Titans.
Kind of a win-win for you then.
Yeah.
Although I would like to win the money.
Yeah?
Yeah, I could spin it.
Yeah, you're right.
I could spin it.
So, yeah.
It'd be worse to bet on the Titans and have the Packers kill them and then lose.
It's going to be a boring game.
Yeah, Thursday night football has been really bad.
Who was it last week?
Pretty nice boost out right now.
What's the boost?
Aaron Rodgers over one and a half passing touchdowns.
Derek Henry to score a touchdown.
And under 52 and a half plus 450.
Pretty nice boost.
Pretty good.
God, I love those odds.
I want to have sex with those odds.
I'd like to fuck those odds odds i want those odds to go down
what's this guy's name bears don't bears down what word low word low what's up oh i thought
he was coming in here to beat you up oh man he knows he knows i'd smash that bottle right over
his head oh man how you? Good to meet you.
Yeah, walk away, pussy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, you see what I just did there?
Keep walking.
Fucking got his ass.
What's he look like shirtless?
Yeah, yeah.
Let's see. Yeah.
I'd also like to know.
Dude, I bet a moose would fuck you up.
Not one with a big cat.
I just trip it. Yeah. I just go one more big cat. I just trip it.
I just go a little whoop.
It's tumbling.
The thing just goes tumbling.
I'd be like, oh, can I help you up, moose?
Nope, sorry.
Little bitch.
It is funny to see, not funny, but like
when animals trip and mess up because you don't think
of them as messy. They seem so perfect.
Oh, whoa. Not that jacked. He's flexing way too hard right kyle that's as bad that's as jacked as you can get
damn it all right fuck you kyle that's a big guy that's a big guy yeah yeah maybe you want to look
like that kyle no no um but i don't know it's it's more it's less what you want to look like that, Kyle? No, no. But I don't know.
It's less what you want to look like,
but more like you want to keep going and getting bigger once you start.
Yeah.
Becomes something I hate.
He's a monster.
Damn.
What was that?
That was my phone.
Sorry.
All right.
I got to go do this show with Jerry.
You guys can keep yakking.
We got a big show tomorrow.
Yeah, we do.
I'm excited.
I've cleared my schedule.
I got to make my presentation.
I've learned a lot.
I don't know how to use PowerPoint.
Do Google Slides or whatever.
Super easy.
Okay, okay, okay.
Yeah.
Got that.
We're bringing food and drinks, right?
Oh, yeah.
I'm getting okay.
Oh, yeah.
I'm excited.
Wine, some Belgian waffles.
This is going to be good.
World Cup.
People are, yeah, I saw a video.
Is Rome coming back?
People are saying U.S. isn't making it out.
They're not.
Is that real?
I don't think so.
I don't think it will.
What do you mean? Don't beat Wales. They're saying Iran or Wales and U.S. isn't making it out. They're not. Is that real? I don't think so. I don't think they will.
What do you mean?
Don't beat Wales.
They're saying Iran or Wales and England.
Yeah.
Security guard Mike's cousin is on the team.
What? Really?
Crazy.
He's a liar.
He just dropped that randomly, and I was just like, what?
Joe Skelly?
Joe Skelly, yep.
Plays in Germany for Borussia Mönchengladbach.
Whoa.
No kidding.
Is it Joe Skelly?
I don't know.
I don't get how pro soccer works.
I'm sure you'd call him Joe Skelly.
So what is the equivalent of playing pro in Germany?
More pitches.
More pitches.
That's better than the MLS or MLS is the worst?
Yes.
Okay.
Premier League is probably the best.
It seems like each European country has their own professional league that's huge.
They do.
Yeah.
So the elite leagues.
Elite leagues are Italy.
France, Spain.
It's just hard for me to wrap my head around that.
That's the Champions League.
One NFL, one NBA.
Yeah, so the Champions League is the winners or the best teams from each league.
How much better is the Premier League than, like than like whatever Spain or France or Germany? It goes
in cycles. The thing is
I don't know. I'm sorry to interrupt.
You're good. Correct me if I
correct me if I'm wrong.
The Premier League is the best but they
never win the champions. Well because yeah
Spain and Germany and all those they have
the best teams but the league top to
bottom is the best.
So how the revenue in in la liga is
split 30 uh 30 or 40 percent of the revenue goes to real madrid and barcelona then the rest gets
60 in the premier league it's all equal yeah so yeah the premier league is set up like if you go
if you finish like 10th if you finish like 9th versus 11th you get a few more million dollars so um not like what he just said
so yeah so like the the german like um bayern munich is really really good but they play
a ton of easy teams whereas in the premier league it's every team is pretty good not every team
there's still some shitty teams but like fifth what we say he's not 15 teams or like this year
this year the premier league Is actually doing pretty good
Spain only has
One team
They only have Madrid
In the knockout
The knockout stages
Of
And what is
The Premier League
They have
Oh Tottenham
Liverpool
So Man City's there
Liverpool
Is through
Tottenham's through
Tottenham went through
Chelsea
Arsenal And Chelsea Arsenal's not Come on Jesus Tottenham is through. Tottenham's through. Tottenham went through. I can't remember. Chelsea?
Arsenal?
And Chelsea.
Arsenal's not.
Come on.
Jesus, Nicky.
Next year?
Next year.
When was the last time a Premier League team has won the Champions League?
Two years ago.
Three years ago.
Liverpool.
Yeah, Liverpool was the last one.
But they beat, Liverpool beat Tottenham.
They beat Man City.
No, they played Tottenham in their final.
I know my soccer, bro.
Oh, damn.
I know my fucking soccer.
I pretend like I don't know.
Zah, has there ever been a big underdog that won the World Cup or no?
That, like, never happens.
World Cup?
Not that I can think of off the top of my head.
It's usually the big suspect.
The usual suspect.
Who did France beat?
Croatia.
That was a pretty big.
Croatia was not.
That was a decent underdog to be there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, I guess.
They didn't win it, though.
They could have been a better team in that position, yeah, I guess, if you put it that way.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, usually it's the big boys that win the World Cup.
Isn't it only like a...
Who's the weirdest team in the World Cup?
Let me see this real quick.
World Cup.
World Cup.
I wonder who the smallest team to play in the World Cup...
Didn't the Faroe Islands have a team?
That might be a little stretch.
I don't know.
Almost every island in the Caribbean has a team.
I learned a lot about CONCACAF last night watching the FIFA
thing. You guys got to watch it.
What did you think of Jack Warner?
What a dude.
It's like seven
teams that have ever won it. It's France,
Germany, Spain, Italy, Brazil,
Argentina,
England, and Uruguay.
Yeah, that's it.
It was probably way back then.
1950 and 1930, Uruguay won Yeah, that's it. Oh, Uruguay. Uruguay. Yeah, but Uruguay. That was probably way back then when they had them. 1950 and 1930, Uruguay won.
But it's basically the same.
Yeah, the same teams always win it.
That sucks.
Yeah.
So runner up.
Check.
Yeah, it's all Croatia is probably the weirdest one that.
Turkey once finished third.
That's pretty cool.
Good for Turkey.
World Cup rigged.
Okay, so World Cup day tomorrow.
Everyone get excited.
My Mickey Mouse France sweatshirt came in.
Very excited to wear that. I got to get some gear.
A jersey's not going to come in.
Yeah.
We all get that.
We're going to wear a village jersey.
It's going to be tough to decide which one.
Throne coming back, do we know?
No.
I don't think so.
I don't think he'll be back until tonight, or the night anyway.
Well, tomorrow's the show.
I meant the evening.
He wouldn't be back until the evening of tomorrow.
Yeah, Moose would fuck you up with your brain.
Not right now.
All right.
Don't do that to me now.
All right.
See you every tomorrow. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. It's the act.