The Yak - Big Cat's Back and Ready to Go Beastmode | The Yak 10-16-23
Episode Date: October 16, 2023Pipa Jones!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
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Hello, everyone.
I'm very excited to be back.
I miss the fuck out of you guys.
Yeah, we missed you too.
I miss the fuck out of you guys.
Where you been?
It wasn't the same.
I feel like I was gone for 10 years.
Yeah.
It was the longest trip ever.
We can't do spoilers, but where's Steven Chet?
We can't do spoilers, but I think we can do teasers.
What's up, Chay?
So here's the one teaser I will give everyone for Barstool Survivor.
It was a great week.
It's going to be a great production.
And your boy Stephen Chay cried.
Confirmed.
Yeah. Confirmed here?
Cried.
Cried.
Fully cried. Sad tears,
happy tears. Or can we not say? Were you
sobbing? Um, I don't
wanna, it's, I
fully cry. He fully cried
to the point that I,
you will, everyone will see it, and it is
great, and again, this is a teaser, this isn't a spoiler,
um, I like had to
stop the show and be like,
are you crying
and he was like no
but he was
and then did you do the like smile
it was a tough look
it wasn't the best but
I'm
I can't really
was it a situation where the circumstances
made you a little delirious or do you feel like this was
you can't even blame it on that
that the circumstances of a game show
and you're sleep-deprived or something.
I can't give – I can't really answer that right now, but –
You cry.
That's all you need to know.
It will all make sense when you see it.
Are you a cry guy?
No, not at all.
When was the last time you – oh, yeah, you're an admitted sociopath on this show.
Yeah, that's right.
I was saying back there, my wife told me like a month ago, like, I've never really seen you cry.
You've never bawled.
When I came back and told her, she was like, are you fucking kidding me?
Yeah.
Cried.
You didn't cry when she was walking down the aisle on your wedding day?
The birth of your children?
No, like.
The Bucks Super Bowl you didn't cry?
By the way, too, for people who are trying to figure out,
because this is my favorite part, whenever we tape one of these,
people will like actively try to piece together spoilers and be like,
why did you spoil it?
It's like you just spent like three hours trying to investigate
how everyone looked every day and all this stuff.
We don't even know who won because the final vote,
it's done in survivor fashion where the final vote was tallied.
And then the finale will be in Chicago in like 60 days from now.
So after, you know, like it'll be at the end of the entire series, we'll do a live show and actually reveal who won.
So it's smart that they did it that way.
So I couldn't even spoil it if I wanted to because we don't know who won.
Are we in Chicago next week? So it's smart that they did it that way. So I couldn't even spoil it if I wanted to because we don't know who won. Correct.
Yeah.
Are we in Chicago next week?
I mean, the other Chicago office?
Supposed to be.
Why are you looking?
Whoa.
Oh, no.
Okay, well, we have a little bit of an interesting situation
because we were supposed to be in on Monday.
Yeah.
Hank is away this weekend. Hank went and
saw it last night and he was like
I don't think it's ready but he also
doesn't want it to be ready because he didn't want us to
do the first PMT without him which I said
we wouldn't do. So I think
he might be sandbagging a little bit.
He might just be like willing it to not be.
I was laying on the bus with Pete this weekend and
Pete said. Laying on the bus?
You were laying on the bus with Pete? I was laying in the back bedroom on the bus with Pete this weekend, and Pete said. Laying on the bus? What? You were laying on the bus with Pete?
I was laying in the back bedroom on the bed with Pete.
Well, Pete can't fuck, right?
I was laying with Pete.
We were both tired at the end of a long day.
We laid down together.
You were laying on the bus with him?
I was laying on the bus with Pete, and I said, he was very confident it's going to be ready.
And that was just two days ago.
I don't think anything's changed.
Just call him right now.
Let's see.
Ask him about.
What have you heard, TJ?
Ask him if he remembers laying with me.
Okay.
What?
Did you drug him?
No.
Huh?
I was a little spin.
A little spin.
Yeah.
We were tired.
It was a long day.
There was a nice king-sized bed in that RV.
Were his pants shorts or pants?
He never converted them to shorts.
They wore the same pants, though.
He didn't?
No.
He didn't go to sport mode? He didn't go to sport mode?
He didn't go to sport mode.
You're sending an email from Pete.
Hey.
Hey.
Hello.
You're on the yak.
I thought I was like, should I send this while they're on there or not?
You sent an email while we're on there?
All right.
So, I guess.
So, let's read the email.
Can someone pull up the email and read it?
Looks like TJ's got it.
Hello.
Were you calling to ask? Yeah. Before the email? Yes. Yeah, just read the email. Can someone pull up the email and read it? Looks like TJ's got it. Hello. Oh, wait. Were you calling to ask?
Yeah.
Before the email?
Yes.
Yeah, just read the email.
No, no, no.
Stay on.
TJ's going to read the email, and then we have follow-up questions.
Hey, remember laying down with me?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What?
Hello, all.
I wanted to give you an update on the transition to the new Chicago office.
I appreciate your patience as we've worked through a few unexpected delays
that pushed the opening deeper into the fall than we would have liked the current
plan is to apply for partial occupancy on wednesday that will allow us to occupy portions of the space
while minor work is finished around the building as of today we plan to open part of my take studio
on sunday october 22nd on monday october 23rd we will open the yak mostly sports and gambling cave
studios okay throughout the week priority 23rd we will work open the Yak, Mostly Sports, and Gambling Cave studios. Okay.
Throughout the week of October 23rd, we will work to make sure that PMT, Yak, Mostly Sports, and the Gambling Cave are functioning properly and then begin provisioning other studios.
Wait, so this sounds like we're on schedule.
Yeah.
It does sound like we're on schedule.
Oh, yeah.
That's exactly what we thought.
So, Pete, this is good.
Yeah, there's no problems.
It was just a...
Why did you react like that?
Why?
Steven just reacted like we're never going to be in there.
I was told that people did not understand the timing,
and so I wanted to let everybody know that we're moving the four shows first
and that everyone else would be excited over the next couple of weeks.
Yeah.
It seems great.
Based on our current plans,
we would like to have all production moved to the new office by Friday,
November 3rd. Wait,
say it again.
Say that line on our current plans.
We would like to have all production moved to the new office by Friday,
November 3rd.
Yeah.
That's what we figured.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Thanks Pete.
You're off the hook.
Great job,
Pete.
It's great.
If you want,
well,
we're not there yet.
You can just say it's a great plan.
It's a great plan,
but you've had a lot of grief.
You've had like six great plans that have been all of them have failed yeah hitler going
into russia was a great plan was it not well i think it was a terrible plan that's not a good
idea well i'm saying you're very similar to the h man and like you're you're like hey this is good
this plan's gonna work yeah and like oh shit we r Russia's bigger than we thought. This office is bigger than we thought.
Who's laughing with you?
Uh, Stefan.
Oh, what's up?
Wait, where the fuck is Stefan?
Why isn't Stefan here?
You should be here.
We're trying to hit the timelines of the new office.
Wait, Pete's in Chicago.
Are you in Chicago right now?
He's at the office.
I live here now.
What?
Motherfucker, all right, okay.
Wait, Pete moved to Chicago?
Can we, no. here now what motherfucker all right okay pete moved to chicago can we know
he's in the new office right now trying to get all the stuff in should we send somebody over
there yeah we should definitely do spy cam tomorrow yeah okay all right thanks pete uh
if anyone randomly shows up don't worry they're not filming you all right bye so the email was
like the arrested development doctor where he's like we did all we could to save him,
and he's going to be okay.
Yeah, yeah.
That was exactly what...
TJ, what's your...
I still have doubts.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, of course.
All of the tech will be there,
but when I go to...
at 9 a.m.,
I have doubts that everything will work out.
You guys will be...
Oh, that was like a panic email,
like, this is the plan And then they're gonna send it
They still have to plug all the things in
But we're gonna need you to believe
So that we can believe
I'll go on Sunday
So the plan is this is the last Monday here
Wow
Which would be great
Because I can't wait until we get into it
I'll play two units now
Two units?
Yeah
What'd you do this weekend?
I tested myself.
Did a bunch of mental bets.
Didn't place them.
Lost them all.
Wow.
I have no control over the board, and it sits humbling.
It sucks.
You did mental?
I did every one of them.
You did a mental bet?
One o'clock slight, I did a first touchdown for every one.
Didn't hit one.
But you never put a bet in?
Didn't put them in.
Wow.
Oh, so you're still up.
Yeah, big time.
Mentally, you're not, though.
You were in the GSMs, right?
I was in Gatlinburg.
Wait, what?
That's the GSMs.
It's a resort mountain town.
You would think it would be outdoorsy, rugged, maybe like Jackson hole.
Yeah.
Ow.
Touristing.
Oh my God.
It's Myrtle beach.
Wait, where is this?
Gatlinburg.
Gatlinburg.
Smoky mountains.
Got it.
Finally.
It's Myrtle beach.
It's time square.
All food court.
It's a County fair in one half mile strip.
So you didn't really have fun unfortunately not
it was a bit camaraderie with the family but that um did your black nephew have fun
no what damn oh it's like the perfect spot for like a 10 year old alcoholic
whiskey tasting moonshine tasting and then like super fun zone.
Gyms?
No gyms.
No.
They advertise one.
It's not open.
Door's locked.
Lights out.
There are more pancake houses than dumb.
I even went to the different hotels, three different.
Their gyms are just treadmills.
Oh, man.
Couldn't get your lift on?
Were you, like, cranky to be—were you bad to be around?
No, we had a good time as a family, but the city itself, no.
Dead stop traffic around the clock.
Who picked this place?
I don't know.
My sister or dad, but— Damn. We have to do this one. I wouldn't know. My sister or dad, but...
Damn.
I wouldn't recommend Gatlinburg.
Nobody stepped up and apologized?
Was there any, like, my bad?
My bad on making everyone come here?
No, we kind of laughed about it.
Not for us.
That becomes fun in its own right.
Are you a bachelor?
Are you a single dude?
Not the place.
Good people watching, though.
Not the place. It's all it, though. Not the place.
It's all families, right?
It's all families.
All white trash families.
All the hoes sound like Big T.
Same accent.
That sounds like hell.
I could get into it.
All the hoes sound like Big T.
Did you leave Piper behind?
Yeah, she's fine.
You dropped a bomb show on the Boy Dad Live show, though.
Kyle's getting a second cat.
What?
Yeah, in January.
A kitten or a full?
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on, hold on.
Back up.
You're treating it like it's a due date for a baby.
Why don't you get, if you want a second cat, why don't you get one right now? Why January?
We want to get through the holidays.
Does that make sense? Do you know the cat yet?
No. It's going to be a boy.
Have you thought about maybe getting Piper
another cat for Christmas?
That's essentially what it will
be. But not
in January. We want to get back from
New Year's Eve. How do you know Piper
wants another cat?
I don't know, and that would be best-case scenario for me, entertainment-wise.
If they hate each other?
Yes.
Are you going to like one more than the other?
That's how it works, I would imagine.
Oh, definitely.
I like one of my kids more.
Yeah.
You spoil the youngest, but the first is always in the back pocket.
Yeah, I think Piper's the one the one are you gonna get a kitten yeah i would like to get a tiny little newborn this is so the cat you're
gonna get bad is probably not even born yet nick told me like you know you're gonna be in your mid
40s and they're still gonna be around yeah yeah interests going to be vastly different. You got afraid. There's also, I think, two, you're not exactly a cat person.
Well, you are a cat person because of everything you put in Piper's house.
But three is, I think, the official point of no return.
That you then have a rotating cast of three cats until they eat your dead body while you die in your apartment.
Two is going to become three.
Yeah.
I don't know many people that have two cats.
It's always one or three.
Yeah.
Because you might be addicted to kittens.
I don't know.
I love one.
I don't know if I'm going to like two more than one or worse than one.
Is there any backing out of this plan or is it like can you abort this cat?
So to speak. So to speak.
So to speak.
Once we get it.
But have you, like, you've decided you're getting another cat.
No matter what.
Yes.
Oh, what's the name?
We have not thought.
It's a boy.
Okay.
Steve.
No, that's Steven.
Fuck.
Name of Piper.
Brian.
Boy Piper. Yeah, Boy Piper, Girl Piper. Boy Piper and Girl Piper. Second Piper. Fuck. Name of Piper. Boy Piper.
Boy Piper, Girl Piper.
Second Piper.
Piper 2.
That's an interesting development.
Does anyone else have a cat? You have a cat.
It doesn't change your life
whatsoever. No, no. Cats don't give a fuck.
I think Brandon as a cat owner
is like a very country cat owner
where they just have a cat on the property.
Yeah.
Oh, I love that.
That's exactly right.
Lucky to be here.
Yeah, right.
It's not like a member of his family.
It just exists.
So we leave a window open so the cat can come and go as it pleases.
Right.
How often does it?
Oh, all the time.
How many times have you saw this cat?
Every day.
When it's time to eat and stuff.
Right.
You could go home one day
and I don't want this to happen, but your cat could
just not be there and you'd be like, oh well.
So my cat just showed up one day out of
the city dump. It just showed up.
It's the most country thing.
He's got a country cat.
Back in Fulton, Mississippi, we live
adjacent to the city dump.
It just came up one day and just
lived at the house. How close did you live to the dump?
Oh, it was like, it's a big property.
Adjacent.
Like half a mile.
Could you smell the dump?
No, you couldn't smell it because it was east of us.
Anyway.
Downwind.
Downwind.
And then the cat just showed up one day and just lived with us.
And he's gone to Jersey and now Illinois.
He's been everywhere.
But it goes and comes as it pleases.
Do you ever see him?
When's the last time you've touched it?
Often.
Oh, you do?
I love my fluffy cat.
Do you ever see your cat, like, you'll be, like, driving around the neighborhood and be like, oh, there's my cat?
Like, five houses down?
No, it doesn't like being visible like that.
It'll stay in, like, tree, or not trees, but it'll stay in the backyard.
That's actually fairly common.
It's just inside and outside cats.
Yeah, no, that's two cats.
Kills a lot of chipmunks.
There's the KB cat owners who are obsessive.
They're babies.
And then there's the country cat owners that is just...
Have you ever bought a cat toy?
No.
Yeah.
Cats are wonderfully independent.
They just need somewhere to shit and somewhere to...
They need stimulation.
They need laser pointers and feathers.
They stimulate themselves.
Before we finished our kids' room, we had a special room built under our stairs.
It was like...
And that's like his little house now.
And we're getting a painting.
Pat got a painting.
Does he actually go in there, though?
Yeah, yeah.
We got a painting commissioned of him.
And then we're putting up a tiny little mailbox.
Oh, that is cute.
Yours is wasting so much money.
It goes way back in there and then to the front and everything.
It's like a nice spot.
And we're making it like a little house.
And we did that before we did the kids' rooms.
Where's Sam?
At my mama's house.
But he's alive?
Yeah, he's alive.
He came up. She visited. Maybe a picture with the newspaper from today. Where's Sam? At my mama's house. But he's alive? Yeah, he's alive. Okay.
He came up.
She visited.
Maybe a picture with the newspaper from today.
She visited two weeks ago.
Something like that.
She visited two weeks ago, and he came with her.
Oh.
Yeah.
But then he left with her, too.
Big Cat, if you died, does this become the yak with Stephen Chayenko?
I think so.
The seniority?
Well, not after he cried.
I do want to say, I offered this to everyone over there who I told to cry.
Like, if you, now that you know he cried, if you don't feel comfortable working at Barstool anymore, I will make sure that your severance is large.
Thank you.
Because I don't really feel comfortable.
Was it an ugly cry?
Yeah.
So bad.
Really?
So bad.
I think he's back emotionally already.
He's got NFL teams tagging him on Twitter and Instagram. What? What's going on? Oh, my God. Really? So bad. I think he's back emotionally already. He's got NFL teams tagging him on Twitter and Instagram.
What?
Oh, my God.
What?
Please accept this.
Oh, God.
Yeah, I mean, that was, if you are a fair person,
that is block of the year.
Watch the block.
Yeah, great block.
He came out of nowhere.
Yeah, I saw you.
You just tweet this. Great block. They not only tagged nowhere. Yeah, I saw you. You just tweet this.
Great block.
They not only tagged him on Twitter, they also collab posted with him on Instagram.
What?
Yeah, sick.
This legitimizes the award.
100%.
Did you even give it out last year?
I don't remember.
Yeah, let's make it a big production.
You didn't give it out.
Now you got to bring it back.
Well, I get a new brick every year.
You?
Yes, because you've got to write more names on it, better spacing.
So why didn't you give it out last year?
I don't recall offhand.
No, lack of submissions.
I like that.
If there's not a good enough movie, there shouldn't be an award for best picture.
I asked for several and picture uh subpar yeah who who have been past
winners q uh the last winner was pat fryer moose okay nelson uh jason kelsey
oh my goodness do you think maybe you have a representation problem with your award winner? Oh.
Seems like they all have something in common.
Wow.
He hasn't put it together yet. We gotta force Stephen Che to go woke with the walk of the ear.
What's this Eagles thing?
What did you say?
Is this an Eagles thing?
Quentin Nelson, Lane Johnson,
Jason Kelsey, anything they got in common?
Those four guys. Pat Frymouth's Jason Kelsey, anything they got in common? Those four guys.
Pat Frymouth's tight end.
That's true.
That's true.
Anything else?
Good blocks.
Well.
Close.
Steven, you only pick white guys.
I don't pick.
This is all nomination process.
Okay, so who else has been nominated?
All white guys? No, Deion Dawkins was nominated. Huh, interesting. But is all nomination problems. Okay, so who else has been nominated? All white guys?
No, Deion Dawkins was nominated.
Huh, interesting.
But he's never won.
Interesting.
He made it through to the next round.
Trent Williams, too.
I'd like to see the percentage of white guys that you nominate,
because the Oscars went through this very thing.
What percentage of offensive linemen are white in the NFL?
I don't know what it is.
Never had a woman.
Is it 100?
Yeah.
Is it 100%?
I don't know.
Yeah, but the tight ends. He's picking tight ends. I feel like it's it is. Never had a woman. Is it 100%? I don't know. I don't think it's 100.
I feel like it's 100.
Jay's pick's so white.
Interesting.
Can we find out what percent of athletes in the NFL are white?
It's definitely... All-time linemen and tight ends is going to be
higher than you think. I think it's probably 50-50.
Yeah, but your award
doesn't seem to be 50-50.
No, your award is 100%.
Award doesn't see color.
It's just whoever has the best block.
It's also just a fan vote.
Like, I put out the four best pass blocks,
four best one blocks.
You have a bunch of racist followers.
Yeah.
Fuck.
I think we have to protest the block of the year.
I think we have the best black block of the year. I think we have the best black block of the year.
Yeah.
Separate but equal.
That would be amazing.
The guy who made the block yesterday, Craig Reynolds, was African-American.
Well, hopefully he wins.
Craig Reynolds, he was the Lions' leading.
56.4% black or African-American and 100% of block of the years have been white.
Yeah, okay, do the offensive line now.
Interesting. percent of block of the years have been white well yeah okay do the offensive line now interesting and black block of the year goes somehow george kittle still Patrick Mahomes
look guys oh Stephen
the arts are
by the way I
I gave Tommy Walker a test this weekend
whoa past yeah past what was it all
right yeah go ahead you can say we flew back from baton rouge and my wife and tommy came pick me up
from the airport the other day and we were all walking through and big cat said tommy hang back
and so me and my wife went outside and then big cat gave tommy something and when tommy came out
i said tommy what did he give you? Nothing.
Nice.
Wooden squeal.
Didn't give me anything.
Got in the car.
Tommy, I know he gave you something.
What did he give you?
Nothing.
And would not just went on.
So I had to text him.
Gave him a $100 bill.
And he didn't say a word.
Didn't say a word.
You'd take a bill.
Yeah.
It's all.
No.
So next time I'm going to give him a grenade with the pin out.
The next morning i was
like uh tommy what'd he give you and he said nothing and i said do you have a hundred dollars
and he started smiling so i broke him that way but he wouldn't it wouldn't give him up that man
knows he can you can give tommy walker a secret but what if it was like 10 000 cash do you think
he'd break i don't know that would be i i think he would have been fine like he would have kept
the secret yeah but he would have demanded to stop at the mall or something.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
But he's, that was a test.
Tommy Walker can be trusted no matter what.
You just give him, I'm going to start giving him all time types of accessories.
Darth Maul.
I went to the mall this weekend.
You did?
Darth Maul or like the guy that trained under Dooku?
Was that Darth Maul?
I think.
Hmm.
I passed a fucking kidney stone at the bar.
You did?
Worst weekend ever.
What?
I was at Bird's Nest eating wings.
Oh, at least you did it on ice.
Yeah.
They have ice in the urinals.
Yeah, I cracked a piece in half.
You either did or you seem like you did. He's passed a kidney stone. I've passed one. You have. It is the worst pain in the urinals. Yeah, cracked a piece in half. Yeah. You either did or you seem like you did.
He's passed a kid. I've passed a kid.
You have.
It is the worst pain in the world.
It is the most, but it also is the best pain when you get it done with it.
You're like, oh my God.
How much of a head, did your dick bleed?
No.
So I got a kidney stone because I overdosed on vitamin C, which I didn't know could exist.
I was trying to beat COVID the old fashioned way and i overdosed on vitamin c and then all of
a sudden like i had a sharp pain in my side and my dick tingled and i was like this is a problem
yep and then after like a day and a half i just pissed out a rock and i was like whoa
mine was immediate uh pain i felt horrible pain like my piss flow like stopped and then
popped out thing was serrated as hell then I bled in the urinal.
Oh, man.
You didn't have an up-close image of a kidney stone because it's in there.
You didn't have the-
Yes, yes.
I almost passed the fuck out.
You didn't have a heads up that this was coming?
Not a clue, but then I looked up.
So you're lucky, actually.
Apparently, people that have celiac disease get kidney stones more often, and I changed
my diet pretty drastically when it happened, and that thing's been building.
No fun. Oh. Yeah yeah mine wasn't that big but you're lucky though because it can like I was lucky as
well where it only was about a day of pain but like some people will have it and they back hurt
for the rest of the day yeah I I got as drunk as possible oh my god it feel like you were cumming or was it painful? No! Boop. Cumming.
Yeah, no it's- It actually does kind of feel like pissing
after cumming.
Oh, which sucks.
A little bit.
Yeah.
Cause you're like, what's going on?
Like, flushing it out.
Yeah, you have to get like, lasered.
Oh my god.
Yeah, no fun for me, but I'm- yeah.
Did you keep the stone?
No, I didn't keep the stone.
You should have kept the stone.
Yeah.
You should have kept the stone.
I'll get the next one.
Okay.
So do you think you have more?
Probably.
Yeah, you got to go get an MRI.
Fun.
They'll find them.
Oh my God.
Oh man.
That's brutal. You all right now?
Hmm?
Are you all right now?
Yeah, I'm afraid every time I piss.
Yeah.
Did anyone like pop in the
urinal after you and was like dude what the fuck is happening there was a dude peeing like midway
through and i was like bleeding oh man you had your period yeah you had your dick period and
then i was just like my biggest fear was like it would be like a barstool fan like yo nick oh yeah
what the fuck um were you making like pain?
I was making some runt.
Because I would say to a guy like kidney stone or something.
No, I didn't say worse.
You know, he just thought.
I got like dizzy though.
It like hurt so fucking bad.
You should call large.
I feel like large pisses blood like every other day.
Yeah, it seems that way.
No, I was fine.
It just hurt a few, hurt a few pisses afterwards just because like, I think there was a cut
in there.
Oh, man. In your pee hole yeah cut my hole fuck well that's brutal yeah wings were good though great i got more afterwards powered through like a new lease on life no i told my buddies i was
with stinky tony and uh oh that's who was here? Yeah. Damn it. He got recognized at the Bears tailgate?
Yeah.
How was the Bears tailgate?
Some dude came up and was like, holy shit, Stinky Tony.
That's incredible.
That's awesome.
Did you guys have fun?
Yeah, great time.
We saw Mook and Sass.
It was perfect weather.
Great football weather.
Yeah.
You went to the show?
I went to Sass and Mook's show.
They sat us in the very front row.
I got up on stage and it's just Nick and Stinky Tony front and center yeah titus you went to sass i went friday yeah you laugh out loud i
laughed out loud yeah yeah it was uh it was weird seeing the boys in a different light put it that
way it was weird funny yeah be funny sass i didn't know you could be funny i was so pissed i missed
it kind of pisses me off that, like, Mook was crushing it.
I was like, say these jokes on the podcast, man.
Fuck it.
Yeah.
Speaking of which, we have a comedy show next week.
Yes.
Go buy tickets if you want to put the tickets in the chat if you're in Chicago.
So we're going to do this once a month, I think.
Yeah.
Where we'll rent out.
Or it might be technically in boystown um and i'll host mook's gonna be on it my friend chris is gonna be on it mook's even nervous around
you anyone else who wants to be who wants to go up nick um maybe but no the the idea here is that once a month we'll do this show and i i'll
kick off the first one but eventually we'll get to a point where like nick you can host one maybe
you can host one like brandon one like everyone maybe pft yeah people can so we'll have a hosted
comedy show where you'll get to see mook and then other uh barstool people so it'll be fun infamous anus
podcast yeah i didn't write any of that are you a regular on the act i don't i didn't write any of
that because um but the headshot if you if you zoom in on the headshot it was taken when i was
on like 60 milligrams of vaterol oh yeah your pupils look you just can't see my look good
yeah you look like you have black eyes. Yeah.
It should be the cutout.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, you don't have eyeballs.
You look handsome as fuck, Big Cat.
Yeah, he does.
I don't know when that was taken.
I posted Mook on my story performing, and I got a DM from what seemed to be a really good-looking girl, which is rare, which is weird.
I was like, what's this about?
They responded, Mook's post.
And she said, no way he's funny.
She's like a hot girl, too.
Like a hot blonde chick.
That's a turn on.
But no, if you want like a cheat code
for like girls DMing you,
throw Mook on there.
Yeah, I am the buffer.
I am good at it.
Mook, did Kyle talk shit to you yesterday?
Yeah, he gave me a little dig in the group chat
after the Jets game.
No, I just said Mook!
That's fucked up.
That's actually worse.
I was excited before we won.
I was like, we're going to go down
with a great effort against the Eagles.
Yeah, that game pissed me off so much, dude.
I was getting shit talked from you and Sass.
I just said MOOC.
With an exclamation point.
I know what you're doing.
It's better than what Brandon sent me, the West Virginia game.
Oh, they fucked up.
Come on, come on, come on.
Yeah.
Brandon texted me 5-1.
Right after they scored.
Oh, my God.
That's pretty fucked up.
How could you do that?
I did unsend it, though.
Yeah, you did.
We're cool.
How could you do that?
I fucked up.
I apologize.
He's been rooting for West Virginia.
Yeah, I've been rooting for them.
He's saying they're better than anything,
and so he sent 5-1 after West Virginia scored. I thought I'd gotten him to five and one for him
and I thought I was I was handing it to him on a silver platter and then we blew it and I just
called him as soon as it happened said huh I was half asleep I'm sorry dude sass was talking shit
to me yesterday and I was like Mac Jones couldn't even make the Eagles roster and then he hit me
with the classic Patriots like like Super Bowls in the past 20 years.
Oh.
Sent me, like, a graph.
Oh.
I was like, you weren't even a fan.
Yeah, and is he Bills now?
Yeah.
The Bills are better.
He hit me with the cheap shot.
Are the Bills that good, though?
The Jets made it.
The Bills are a bad, good team.
Yeah.
They're a good team who plays poorly.
I think they might be a good, bad team.
Think so?
No. No, they're not a bad team it might be they're they're bad they're a bad good bad team
no i think the bills just go into every game and you don't know until there's like a quarter into
it like the whole team looks concussed what did you think about damar hamlin's number being retired
on the ambulance i kind of that rocked that's the fucking wildest thing that's not even the
ambulance he rode in.
He did this thing in Cincinnati.
It should be every ambulance.
Every ambulance in America should be a retired ambulance.
The DeMar ambulance.
Yeah.
Chick-fil-A should retire your number.
Oh, that'd be awesome.
Yeah.
That would be sick.
I wonder if the Chicago Chick-fil-A has started to pick up that I'm here now.
No, that's just DeMar's number.
Because it's been every day.
Yeah.
That's a car.
Yeah.
Honestly, I would respect it more if it said Earnhardt 3 on the back.
Oh, yeah.
Win some, lose some.
That would actually make more sense to me than fucking a guy who's on the team.
He's on the bench.
He's sitting right over there.
Do you think he knew about this before this happened,
or is this the first time he's seen him?
He's like, what the fuck?
I think they probably brought him back to the backstage area and said,
hey, DeMar, look what we did for you.
That's the fucking ambulance.
By the people who, I assume that's the team ambulance or whatever the fuck, but they got to save a life in a very public way.
They probably save a lot of lives that aren't public.
That's a dream of all EMTs.
Yeah, they get all their,'s like damn you did save tomorrow
hamlin yeah those emts are probably like legends now but was it those guys is the question those
cincinnati guys the cincinnati was the bills team training team doctor and training staff but
remember they won i think they won an espy yeah no i think they did it was them and caitlin jenner
battle for bravest yeah yeah cleaned up at the espy's it took saving a life to beat caitlin jenner
that was really on my frank the tank shit right there yeah he definitely he definitely is like
mad that caitlin jenner won an espy yeah because frank definitely thinks the espies are very official
and credit to frankie all the teams uh no undefeated teams he pops champagne every time
still like the dolphins dolphins yeah he he holds that true to his heart he does yeah he like gets
legitimately excited when that happens last undefeated. That's all he's got. This might be the quickest it's happened in a long time.
Yeah.
Six?
Yeah, very quick.
On one day, two.
There's no way of knowing.
Did you see Frank last week?
I saw him a couple times, yeah.
A couple times?
Yeah, he's just doing his Frank stuff.
Yeah.
Janks is going to work himself into a job, I feel like.
Yeah, I mean, they're churning stuff out.
Yeah. I do. they're churning stuff out. Yeah.
I do.
I have to figure out.
I discussed it a little bit with Dave.
Like, having Jenks just be a salesperson for Frank.
Yeah.
I feel like we could make him a mega brand.
Cash cow.
I think they're good for each other.
Yeah.
It's healthy.
They're like in a healthy-ass relationship.
He got him a vacuum cleaner and is helping healthy cleanest please do you think Frank has
ever accidentally called Jenks Doug's yeah I think it's actually amongst us
hasn't had to slip up with an ex yeah I used to do it at school and call the
teacher mom oh that once it's like worse. You don't forget that. No. And they're like, huh, I'm not your mom.
Yeah.
Fuck.
I feel like such an idiot.
Such an idiot.
What's the...
Go ahead.
I got nothing.
Pull something out of thin air.
What's the worst kind of onion?
I got something better than that.
That's what he wrote.
What's the worst kind of onion, red, yellow, white, or sweet?
Some people have strong takes on red onions.
Oh, my God.
All right, KB, what do you have better than that?
The Bears quarterback that came in.
Tyson Begay?
From West Virginia.
He went to Shepard.
Yeah. His dad to Shepard. Yeah.
His dad is Travis the Beast, 19-time arm wrestling world champion.
Whoa.
Shepard is, PFT was describing it.
He said that he had a bunch of friends who went to West Virginia,
and Shepard is where you go after West Virginia to then be like,
ah, college isn't for me.
It's that or the poli-sci majors go there. Really? It's where he's a gay campus, I believe. Wait, you go after West Virginia to then be like, ah, college isn't for me. It's that or the poli-sci majors go there.
Really?
It's where he's a gay campus, I believe.
Wait, you go after West Virginia?
To Shepherd Ram.
Yeah, he said that all his friends would fail out of West Virginia,
go to Shepherd for a semester and be like,
you know what, college isn't for me.
Oh.
Holy shit.
This is his dad?
Yeah.
But having a dad named Travis who's a professional arm wrestler, that's like a dream.
EFT, elbow, two fingers.
Damn, what a brother.
And he's a shit talker.
He's Travis the Beast.
He's like the villain of the arm wrestling community.
Oh, he's the villain of the arm wrestling community?
He's a crazy shit talker.
Wait, wait, what is that?
I'm getting in my own head?
There's a lot of techniques.
He doesn't really care what you think about his flag.
Oh, shit.
He's got rivalries.
Wait, wait, what is this?
I'm getting in my own head the 38-year-old out of Charlestown, West Virginia declared,
if I accidentally get in yours, so be
it.
He's 38 and he has a son in the NFL?
He can't be 38 still.
He must have had him when he was 11?
That's a Travis move.
Has he fought in Rough and Rowdy?
He'll be mid-arm
wrestling match and tell the guy, you should kill
yourself.
Watch some of these?
He opened up a bar called The Big Arm. A bar specifically just for arm wrestling match and tell the guy, like, you should kill yourself. Wait, can we watch some of these? Wait, he opened up a bar called The Big Arm, a
bar specifically just for arm wrestling.
And they encourage fist fights
afterwards. This is like...
Family is amazing. This has to be the Bears quarterback.
Yeah. I didn't know
this is like over the top if the sun was
cool. Wait, and his dad's only 38?
Yeah. He can't, he's got to be old.
That article might be old. Yeah, that might be an old article? Yeah. He's got to be old. That article might be old.
Yeah, that might be an old article.
Oh, I forgot.
Words could be dated.
That's hilarious.
47.
47.
Okay.
Still.
Wait, can we see him shit-talking people on YouTube?
I'd imagine.
19-timer.
Is that bar still open?
Let me see.
The Big Arm?
Where's the bar?
Big Arm.
Is it Charlestown?
Charlestown. Probably by the casino.
It's called The Rise and Fall of Travis the Beast.
Oh, there's been a fall?
Oh, no.
I went to his Instagram.
All of his posts are pictures of his son playing football with the caption Beast in all caps.
Oh, I love it.
Big Cat, you have to get behind this guy 100%.
I have to, yeah.
I mean, I already was.
We have to see what his fall is first.
Yeah.
He didn't play great, did he?
He was, no.
He was fumble, the touchdown drive, then interception.
So, no.
I would say that's not great.
He threw the ball out quick.
Gets the ball out quick.
He was electric in the preseason.
And there is, like, the backup quarterback in Chicago is always the most popular guy.
Because if you can see him for a few drives, you're like, ooh, that's different.
Yeah.
And then if he has to start, you're like, oh, that stinks.
That's crazy he won the job.
Yeah.
D3 guy.
Undrafted.
He has, like, all the records in D2 or D3.
Yeah.
D2.
He had 5,000 yards in the season.
Most career touchdowns of any NCAA division.
Who does Shepard play against?
They are in the PSAC, like the Pennsylvania Conference.
I want to see Travis DeVese telling someone to kill themselves.
The conference is called PSAC?
Yeah.
Wait.
I guess I didn't even realize.
I played in the PSAC.
Did you?
Field hockey.
That's right.
He's just winking.
We're just winking on him.
You can't do that, can you? Yeah do that can you guys are holding the bar and your elbow stays
Arms gonna pop I want to see him break someone's
Does he have a palsy? The superintendent.
What the heck?
Oh!
Oh!
Look at him, he's talking.
That looks miserable.
Oh, I want to hear what he said.
Can we hear what he said or is that music?
Who's the biggest douche?
There's a music for him.
Yeah, I feel like this was not supposed to be that.
This was made on iMovie.
Oh, he's getting...
No, he's about to lose.
Oh, no.
You can't bring this one.
Oh, how's he going to?
Richard.
They're lupus.
What a legend.
Here he goes.
Do you think he's made his son arm wrestle him yet?
Are we sure that's his dad?
Yeah, Kyle,
just grab a random guy with the same last name.
Are you sure it's his dad? I'm 100% sure.
He's getting
beaten talking shit.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
He's a maniac.
What a guy.
Tiny's is crazy.
Tony Tom.
These names aren't real.
You do it with both arms?
I think they do right-handed and left-handed circuits.
Look, Travis is laughing at his face. There's like a righty championship.
Oh, that guy's enormous.
And he's missing a tooth.
Are there weight classes for this?
I don't know.
Our YouTube video is only Travis Bajan.
How do you say his last name?
I was screwing it up.
Bajan.
I was saying Bajan, and then people were like,
how do you not know his last name? I don't know, dude. He's a backup quarterback. was saying Bajan and then people were like how do you not know his last name I don't know
he's a backup quarterback
only Travis Bajan can do this
oh I like Cobra Rhodes
oh fucking see ya
Cobra
bitch I want to meet the groupies for this
they're in
Gatlinburg
for sure
oh it's Canadian look they even have a sassy lady Gallenberg. Gallenberg, for sure, for sure. One of the all-time legends in this. Oh.
He's Canadian, I think.
Look, they even have a sassy lady.
Oh, he is.
George Fedkov.
Big Cat, didn't you arm wrestle like a woman?
Yeah.
Worked them.
You and Dave both worked them.
Kicked their ass.
Well, Dave didn't.
We've lost.
That checks out.
Do you think if you're that good at arm wrestling
and that jacked
you have like trouble
jerking off
or you're an expert
like are you either
like really good
or really bad
I don't know what kind
of strength that is
like are you a little
afraid you're gonna
I was thinking about it
for five minutes
you accidentally like
get into rage mode
and squeeze your dick
so hard
and just fucking like
tear your dick off
ah
kill yourself bitch you're like fighting against your dick so hard? And just fucking tear your dick off. Ah!
Kill yourself, bitch.
You're fighting against your dick.
Maybe that's the fall of him.
You strap your hand to it. Rip his own dick off.
Does it result in just a really strong dick, though?
Stand up!
Exactly.
The dick starts fighting back.
Wait, can I see his Instagram?
Is it just all his son?
Beast.
Yeah, I want to see the beast posts.
The Rise and Fall doc has like 100,000 views somehow Arguably one of the most recognizable
Arm wrestlers of the last two decades
I'm going to watch this tonight
You need to get him on PMD
Yeah
Damn
Wow
Yeah he's an asshole and unwillingness to compromise or self-censor. Damn. Wow. He's being a dick.
Yeah, he's an asshole.
Unwillingness to self-censor.
His fair share of controversy is what it says.
Before we fully endorse.
Oh, he's got some.
Oh.
Let me do some research.
Oh.
Oh.
I'm okay to fully endorse.
Yeah, I'll fully endorse.
Yeah.
Fine endorsement.
You and I, we're going to jump in.
We'll jump into this.
All right.
Going down with this.
Fully endorse.
Imagine if we just lit a spotlight on.
It's like he arm wrestled a black guy one time and talked a little too much.
Yeah.
We had a weird one today on PMT.
So there was a beat writer.
Jack Hammer was there. Jack Hammer.
No.
Okay.
And he had an incredible stat about Kyle Shanahan versus Jim Schwartz defenses
that I mentioned on Friday.
Jim Schwartz defense did what they did.
They beat the 49ers, kept them under 20 points.
So I went to look for the stat again to make sure I had it right,
and I searched Jack Hammer.
Turns out that's not his name, and that was his pseudonym
because he had been arrested for
like 20 years ago and he picked
Jack Hammer. That's an
insane name. Sick fuck.
And he unfortunately, his stat was
too good because he probably went viral
and everyone was like, hey wait.
Yeah, I endorsed the name Jack
Hammer. Big mistake.
I'm on r slash arm wrestling.
Why does everybody hate Travis Badgent so much?
Oh, look at this. Is his dad Vitacell Biologics?
I guess he has a podcast, too.
Wait, is this Tyson or is this Travis?
Love this.
Beast.
Beast.
Oh, that's cute.
He's really proud. He's baby beast. Beast. Beast. Oh, that's cute. He's baby Beast.
Yeah.
Oh, what is this?
I mean, VitaCell Biologics is exactly what I would come up with a name that was selling something that would kill you very quickly.
But make you think that you're getting awesomely ripped.
VitaCell Biologics?
It sounds so complicated.
So he's still doing this.
Wait, right-hand winners invited to compete in Turkey?
No way.
So this goes worldwide.
154 and 155 plus.
You won't be catching me there.
So heavyweight and super heavy
just wrote I in the same areas him he was super intense and competitive even as sons peewee games no duh yeah he's the beast
yeah Martinsburg would destroy every team in West Virginia.
I would expect nothing less from the beast.
I wouldn't want the – imagine if the beast, like,
didn't argue with Little League umps.
Wait, I love comparing his son to the top picks in the NFL draft.
Way better.
Yeah, way better.
Pass yards, look at that.
Almost double.
Wow.
More than double.
What a beast.
I love you could even tell the camera quality. They couldn't afford a better camera. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like a
passport picture. Yeah.
That's a great
find, KB.
I wish I had known this.
Where is he from in West Virginia?
Charlestown? Charlestown.
So as soon as you see a guy for the first time, you wick a penis out.
Yeah, that's what I've been doing, trying to, like, binge it.
Well, I mean, the minute you saw Shepard, you were like, he's probably something.
Where is Shepard?
It's on the eastern panhandle.
Yeah, kind of closer to D.C.
Yeah.
Wait, can you call it a panhandle if it's not on water?
Yeah.
Oklahoma has a panhandle. Oh, yeah, that's true. That is you call it a panhandle if it's not on water? Yeah. Oklahoma has a panhandle.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
That is true.
Oklahoma's panhandle.
Texas has a panhandle.
It does?
Yeah.
You have probably been to Charlestown.
I have.
We've done a rough and rowdy there.
Oh, yeah.
Isn't that where?
There's a pen property.
Yeah, that's where.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right.
Yeah, we've been there a few times.
Yeah.
Travis the Beast.
Man, I kind of want to see him.
There was an arm wrestling league that just didn't take off.
It's weird that arm wrestling is never.
I feel like slap fighting is trying to take its place in the niche world.
I went to an arm wrestling event in Indiana, and Bruce Buffer?
No, Michael Buffer.
The older one is Michael. in Indiana and Bruce Buffer? No, Michael Buffer. Who's the-
The older one is Michael.
Bruce Buffer was calling it and we were in the green room and he's like, I can't believe
they paid me to do this.
Yeah.
It's like the car jujitsu that's happening too.
Have you seen that?
No.
A few guys that fight in the front seat of a car.
They have a camera above and-
Oh, yeah.
I want to see this now very badly.
By the way, Fellow Friday coming up.
Yeah. I could use some fellows. If anyone. By the way, Fellow Friday coming up.
I could use some fellas.
If anyone has it on Instagram and wants to DM me, I'll look through them.
Kyle and I are actually out until Friday.
Wait, what?
We're going to New York tomorrow.
When are you going to tell us that?
I told you guys. He told me earlier.
Fuck.
You're out.
Branded stuff.
Damn it.
Some sold shows, but we're trying to knock out the year's worth of shows.
Oh, jeez. This is this is awesome start buckled up
I thought the cars were fighting. Oh this looks is he choking him home. Yeah, you can use the seatbelt
This is like my worst nightmare. Yeah, and they're wearing mouth guards. Yeah, cuz you yeah, you can use anything in the car a
Lot of the times the fights get to the backseat. Oh he lowered his seat
Oh the fights get to the back seat. Oh, he lowered his seat? Uh-oh.
Wait, so you guys are leaving when?
Tomorrow morning.
Till Thursday night?
Thursday night.
Okay, so Friday.
Unfortunately, sorry.
That's for this?
It's okay.
Ladies, I wouldn't date a guy
who specializes in this.
Yeah.
I could very quickly turn into fucking.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, ow.
All fights can. Oh, my God. He's got his leg. Yeah, it's true. All fights can turn into fucking. Oh, yeah. Oh, ow. All fights can.
Oh, my God.
He's got his leg.
Yeah, that's just true.
All fights can end in fucking.
Should we do this?
Oh, a women's division?
Wait, is that a guy?
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
I mean, someone had to break that barrier eventually.
The great equalizer.
Well, who wins?
This is what happens when I call the wrong Uber driver You're damn right I am
This is pathetic
This is awful
You think awful
I'm kind of into this
Small spaces man Is it making you anxious You think awful? I'm kind of into this. Hard jitsu.
Small spaces, man.
Is it making you anxious?
Yeah.
It is.
Wait, but is it jiu-jitsu?
Are they getting points or is it MMA?
Are they trying to choke each other out?
He's got them.
Oh, my God.
They're going for taps.
I feel like the driver's seat is at a disadvantage because if you've ever tried to pee in the driver's seat
versus passenger's seat.
Aren't you typically driving when you're peeing in the passenger's seat?
It depends. Everything's way tougher. That was it? I tried to pee in the driver's seat versus passenger's seat. Weren't you typically driving when you were peeing in the passenger's seat?
Fence.
Everything's way tougher.
That was it?
He choked him out with the...
Oh, my God.
Wait, did he tap?
What kind of car is it?
Oh, my God.
I would just roll up the windows and rip a nasty fart.
Yeah, a tap.
Buddy.
You're fucked.
How do you find yourself here?
Yeah, that's a good question.
Well, I mean, how do we find ourselves here?
Yeah.
Nick.
Well, that was somebody, yeah, somebody DM'd it to me.
We got a lot of sickos out there.
Car jiu-jitsu.
I'd fuck you up in car jiu-jitsu.
No, you wouldn't.
I would.
I'd have a size advantage. I don't have size right now sitting right there might be a disadvantage oh yeah literally fighting in a phone booth Oh, no. That guy's way bigger.
Do I have to start back to back?
Do you guys see AOC fart?
No.
I saw that it existed.
I never watched the actual video.
Is it real?
But she tweeted the video.
I never watched the video.
I just saw it.
She tweeted a video, and at the 58-second mark, she farted.
But it was from her account, right?
Or did I get gut from like... Does she acknowledge it?
No.
Did she look cute doing it?
Yeah, dude.
When she farted on my phone I just like instinctively went... of the region that means it also has to ensure accountability to human rights to prevent the
ethnic cleansing of palestinian first in the names of victims who do not want their tragedy
my friend's like why aren't you talking about the Middle East? We did. We did. AOC farted.
Fast forward to the fart.
But it's from her actual account, isn't it, TJ?
Their tragedy.
I want to get it.
I want to get it.
Hold on.
Victims who do not want their tragedy.
Oh!
Was that a queef?
I don't know.
That feels almost too perfect.
It was the perfect sounding fart.
That is a perfect sounding fart.
I will say, if you want people to watch your video and you're a hot lady, put a fart at the end.
You've got to wait for the end for the fart.
You're going to wait.
Yeah, I don't.
Do you think her video editor was fucking with her?
I don't know.
That sounded like a fart.
Did it sound like her fart?
It didn't sound like her.
It sounded like someone was about to chime in.
We're going to have to we're gonna have
to hear another fart from her oh my farts don't even sound okay okay oh
is there a camera that uh yeah but not like a filter for that yeah that's it got community
community like infrared goggles that show that all the time?
I would love to get fart goggles for us.
Hold on, that's so great that someone actually wrote a community note,
like some AOC stand being like, she did not fart.
That's not true.
This technology does not exist.
Farts don't even sound like it.
Yeah, this is bullshit.
There was never a fart.
Please strike it from the record, there was no fart.
Immediately when you have to deny a fart you yeah you try to make recreate the noise with like the chair your shoe yeah ever sounds the
same rico farted a couple times during advisors this week really he got nervous he just started
ripping farts yeah does he acknowledge them or yeah we all were just we stopped like did you fart dude remember when jim tom sewell farted that was a bad one i don't remember that fart i don't know
he like visibly farted whilst while addressing the media i believe
like i think you can see him like and maybe i'm remembering this like a berenstein bears thing
where he was such a funny like fatter coach where it's like, oh, yeah, of course he farted.
Fat people, everybody farts.
Well, that's the problem with being overweight.
Yeah, if there's a fart, you're immediately.
And if it stinks, it's you.
Yeah.
Most famous fart of all time.
What is it?
Yeah, I was thinking.
Is it a first one that comes to mind is Dumb and Dumber when Jim Carrey lights his fart on fire?
Yep.
That's like an iconic.
I want a real fart.
Yeah, like a real fart though.
TJ, can you Google most famous real farts?
Like has any prelude?
Non-fiction?
Non-fiction.
Non-fiction.
There's got to be a compilation video.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
Seven farts that changed history? history wait let's read that real quick
wait
talking about it again oh they were farting back then who's a jewish war soldier who was against
the jewish people insulted them by farting and swearing while they were having a religious
ceremony situation offended them thus they started throwing stones at the soldier when jews started throwing
stones the soldier roman commander called for the intervention to stop and attack the jewish people
wow a fart that caused a rebellion in egypt oh yeah i mean that probably has there ever been
like a good like post-game press conference fart from well that was i'm remembering it incorrectly i would
imagine porn bloopers has a lot of oh yeah dicka farted on the nfl like
uh gym town my dad yeah see if you can i i just google it i think it is you can find the video
it was during his initial press conference maybe wow it was very first one i think so that's setting
the tone early i don't know why but i'm picturing like anthony edwards just letting the big one out
after again yeah donnie sitting there the other day who else was oh yeah yeah i mean we already
talked about yeah sorry he just farts now. He just does not
care.
Loud farts. That's a wild
move. Yeah.
I want to build on Twitter his big cat's
blog of Jim Tosula farting in 2015.
Okay, so this might be a... It's a Vine link.
Oh, wow.
Damn. I once farted in my dad's
face at rehab. What?
What the fuck? Wait a minute.
What a sad.
And he's awake again.
You wanted to say that for a little bit now.
In 1988, when I was nine, he went to rehab for the first time,
and they had a thing where all the families sat in a circle,
and he had to confess things, and everybody was tearful and everything,
and I just sat back in my chair because I was nervous,
and I just farted right in his face um ran it was like all right well we gotta take a break
now oh my god did i even laugh or it was like oh they laughed hysterically oh see everyone needed
that you had a oh man that's pretty traumatizing man no no no no that was you were eight years
old you had to talk to your dad at rehab as he confessed things to you.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, that was weird.
I was talking about the fart.
Oh, okay.
My buddy had a fart that cleared a college tour.
Like we were in one room and he farted and the entire, everyone in the.
Wait, where was it?
I was visiting Penn State and we were going around the campus,
and we were in, like, a section of the library, and he just, like, ripped ass.
And everyone was like, all right, we'll be right back.
Like that kind of thing.
That's hero ball.
Yeah, it was terrible.
Oh, wait, here it is.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That was a real fart. And you could see his face, too.
Facial.
He had it in his face.
He's really like.
Football coaches to me are farty guys.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Farty.
Very farty environment.
All the time.
Always be farting.
Yes.
Yeah.
To fuck with him.ing. Yes. Yeah. To fuck with him?
Yes.
Yes.
The thumbnail of Dick has farted on Monday Night Football is...
Yeah, play that one because he kind of like confessed to it a little bit in real time.
That face is hilarious.
You want to do the high noon ad, Nick?
Sure do.
Do it.
It's time to load up on the ice and break out the oversized lawn games
because the High Noon Game Day Pack is back.
It includes limited edition fan faves, pear and cranberry,
along with black cherry and grapefruit.
It's made with real vodka, real juice, 100 calories, gluten-free,
no added sugar.
The High Noon Game Day Pack is a fall exclusive,
which means it's here for a good time and not a long time.
You can visit highnoonspirits.com before your next tailgate to find a pack near you that's highnoonspirits.com
to find a pack near you me and Mookie had some highnoons this weekend yes sir at your comedy show
yeah you sitting front row had me nervous I was looking right up yeah did you do that on purpose
because when I when I came I came The place was basically full
And there were four seats in the front
And they were like you can sit here
And I was like I don't think I want to do that
So I went to the back
I called them and I was like hey is this alright?
You said no
But it had to happen
You were just staring at my dick
Right that level Get a good outline or no yeah yeah i'm not a good outline an outline
yeah so you crushed it you crushed every set how many how many shows did sass do we did eight shows
um two of the shows i didn't do
the show that all week was fun so do you had a good time? Yeah. Is he going to come back and do it again?
Hopefully.
Yeah.
Here, probably.
Good crowd work from Mook.
Good crowd work.
Well, dude, you caught the show.
So Friday night, early show, I was taking a shit in the green room before the show.
And all of a sudden, I saw Connor Mook. Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
I was on the toilet, and I hear it come up through the vent so I do
like a half wipe oh oh no wait did you do the set in front of Titus
I also had to run up I don't know green room was upstairs so I'm like running
down to the stage and I get on stage I'm just like what's up Chicago like out of breath they
introduced him twice yeah because they they said uh put your hands together for Connor Moog and
then they play the music and then nothing happens and everyone's looking and like the crowd's like
and then like enough time passed and just kind of died down and the guy just did it again he just
did it again he was like all right everybody ready to get the show started put it up for connor he did just the same exact same thing twice the mood comes waddling up real quick
i do waddle yeah it's a it was a touch she was shitting your ass yeah that was brutal
yeah it was
i'm woated move though saturday night, we were out at the ale house,
new favorite bar in Chicago. And it was like 1am. Originally we were just going to do like one beer
and leave. And then he's like, you know what boys like let's black out tonight. Like my last time
here for a while. Like, let's go out with a bang. He takes a rip of my jewel for five minutes he's in the corner of
the bar with his hands over his face and he just looks up and goes i gotta walk home right now
oh what knocked him out jewel knocked him out no yeah are you the last person on earth that jewels
no i found a couple okay yeah it's a few guys yeah whatever happened to them
but then all like the big rigs that everyone walks around with don't.
Like the touchscreens.
Yeah.
You can play Temple Run.
Yeah.
Run build into it.
Yeah.
Yeah, they've come a long way for the technology.
So, like, Sass, doesn't he vape?
Your jewel, like, just send him home.
Send him directly home.
I just don't think he wanted to chill with you, dude.
No, dude, he had us all
going we're all like let's go we ordered more drinks and he was like i have to call it what
time is this at like i said what he said at like 1 a.m was like 105 knocked out by the jewel he
got knocked out damn hey tj what's the chances we get another extension tonight
you should just have a uh create your own story where it's just notes.
Do AI.
Just do AI.
Just type in.
No, I want to really want the Yeti to punish Brandon Walker.
What did I do to the Yeti?
I want all your posts.
So I did Yeti.
Oh, what the fuck?
I thought we traded.
I had a Chimera. Oh, yeah, you did. Oh, I have. All right, Ch we traded. I had a Camara.
Oh, yeah, you did.
Oh, I have, all right, Camara.
I have Camara.
No, no, no, no, you're right, you're right.
I have Camara, Brandon Walker.
I got too ambitious.
So did I.
It was like the first few paragraphs were like it was going to be a full book.
And then I was like, oh, fuck, I had to finish it abruptly.
I did too.
How did you
finish yours the person in question just you know grace right to the fucking yeah dude my lead up to
the fucking is great prose and then the fucking happens it's like and then he fucked the end
yeah i was like what am I doing? Yeah.
I'm going to write mine tonight. Who's doing it, TJ?
I'm going to write mine tonight.
I will do it.
Yeah, there's your Yeti with the mega titty.
Whoa.
You can do mega titty Yeti as well.
No, I'm going to...
You know what?
I'm just going to...
I'm going to see wherever it takes me.
That's me as the dragon?
Wow, you look sick, Rob.
That's pretty fucking awesome.
Good cheekbones.
I'm not leaving the office today until I...
Where's my 18 cups? Yeah, I'm going to do mine tonight. Oh, God. At home. Oh, sick, Robin. Good cheekbones. I'm not leaving the office today until I finish. Where's my 18 cups?
Yeah, I'm going to do mine tonight.
Oh, God.
Oh, wow, Steven.
Extremely accurate.
That's Kyle's face?
That's Kyle?
Oh, yeah, I see it.
Everybody else kind of looks like them.
That one's you.
You just look badass.
That's so sick.
That's fine.
You beast.
All right, this is just insulting.
Oh no.
How come they didn't do one?
This is just you when you're 90.
You semi-sue.
Yeah.
Poop in his butt.
Yeah.
Okay.
He's cute asue. Yeah. Poop in his butt. Yeah. Okay. He's cute as hell.
Yeah.
And that's Cam for Modern Family.
Yeah.
Oh, Zah!
Oh, damn.
Zah, you're kind of hot.
Zah, I was.
Damn, girl.
It's Akilah.
Look at this.
Whoa!
Zah! Zah Look at this. Whoa. Zah.
Zah spelling bee champion.
Yeah.
Misspelled bee in his tweet about it.
How did you do that, Zah?
You just got hot?
What was the spelling bee?
What was the categories?
Sometimes we were throwing out proper nouns.
We were just Googling hard to spell words.
We were Googling Chinese names. We were just Googling hard to spell words. We were Googling Chinese names.
We were Googling Titus.
The Mulligans.
The Mulligans were huge.
So you could.
Oh, so you just got hammered.
Oh, yeah.
But he got Wolfgang.
But if you miss your second word, you're out.
Okay.
You got Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
And what did you win?
Like $1,000?
Not full on.
Oh, I didn't pay you.
No.
There is two really good spellers, I think,
that may have been a little upset
about the disparity and difficulty.
But it wasn't like you.
We started you off with Vertigo
and you were like,
hell no.
Yeah.
I think I got lucky because you didn't have
a scouting report on me.
You were good with French words.
Yeah,
you gave me a bunch of French,
you got like filet mignon.
Yeah.
You said that good.
That was nice.
Filet mignon.
You're right.
So filet mignon.
Genghis Khan.
You missed Genghis Khan.
You missed Genghis Khan.
Genghis Khan,
I put a Z instead of an S.
That would have been more badass.
Genghis.
Genghis.
Amadeus.
You got it right.
Yeah.
Yeah, Amadeus.
Good for you, Zaha.
That was fun.
These guys do a good job, man.
Those events are very fun.
Yeah.
Highly encourage anyone in the Chicago area, do come out.
Nah, nah, we're not doing it anymore.
No, I'm kidding. You can't afford to. to i can't afford to it's believing me in ruin
uh did you tj did you talk about the fact that we can't do a corn maze because
the corn maze industry is is boycotting us i mentioned that we're looking again i guess if
anybody has a yeah we're over two what happened to the corn maze? Does it have to be corn? Can we just find a regular stone labyrinth?
Yeah, we could.
Yeah.
The second corn maze, a yak listener works there, but then, and this is not a joke.
They've worked with Barstool before.
They've worked with Barstool before, but because of, they saw my Taylor Swift video.
And they're like, yes.
What corn maze has worked with us before?
But how insane is that? I played a corn worked with us before? But how insane is that?
We did a corn maze video in Wisconsin once.
How insane is that that they're like, we can't stand for that?
Tweens love corn?
A corn maze.
A corn maze.
Well, in case Taylor Swift ever needs a corn maze, they want to be in the market for it.
She would love that.
You know she would.
I think we might have luck asking for a farmer listener who can weave us a couple trails through their corn.
We just need somebody with corn and we can make the maze ourselves.
Are there professional maze makers?
There has to be, right?
What is that career called?
Can you go to school for that?
I don't know.
Kyle, what do you call people from Equatorial Guinea?
I would guess like Ghanaian.
No.
What is it?
Can we?
It's like Equo Ghanaian or something.
Oh.
Yeah.
Interesting little country.
Yeah.
Capital is not on the mainland.
Whoa.
It's on an island.
Yeah.
TJ looking good
Yes
Incredible progress
Thanks man
How we feeling?
Good I forgot to eat much this weekend
I was home
But I lost like five pounds without working
But you're not
But you weren't even like that hungry
Good for you TJ
You're crushing it
Great Rutgers win
What a comeback
One of the most astounding games I've ever watched
In TV or otherwise Or in person It was. One of the most astounding games I've ever watched in TV or otherwise or in person.
It was insane.
Game of the Century?
24-6 going on the fourth quarter. It might be the most important game
in the history of Rutgers
football. Wow. Did you guys invent
football? Yeah.
If they lose that game
they would have lost every remaining football.
Wouldn't the first game of football
because Rutgers invented it domino effect seems pretty important if they lost this game
they would have lost every fan that is left you not you no they might have lost it would have
been bad coaches would have been called for firing it would have been would they have lost you no
never they could never ever back down never how do it? You did turn on the team mid-game. No, I didn't.
I just tweeted a picture of the basketball team.
Okay.
Okay.
So how close were you to losing?
I mean, it was like.
It was 24-6 entering the fourth quarter.
Five minutes later, we had the lead somehow.
Yeah, so razor-thin margin away from.
So now there's optimism and hope and everybody's happy.
And if those five minutes would have gone differently,
there would be zero fans and every coach would be fired.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love college sports.
I love college sports.
Very sane approach.
Yeah.
To all of it.
Well, because if we lost that game, we're almost definitely not going to a bowl.
If we win that game, we're probably going to a bowl.
And the bowl is very important.
That's your vacation.
Coach's fourth year, yeah. That's your vacation.
That's your vacation.
Right, yeah.
That's my Christmas break.
Yeah.
Pinstripe Bowl.
The Bad Boy Motors Pinstripe Bowl against NC State.
How did your choices go?
I went 3-0.
I'm 15-0 on the season.
What did I go?
You know what I was thinking?
You should take – I think they spell their names differently,
but you should have taken Zach tonight in the Phillies Diamondbacks.
Yeah.
Take Z.
Big Z.
Big Z.
Nick, did you bet against Gallaudet?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You got automatic losses?
I don't know why they did that to me. Because you skipped the show.
I sent my choices.
Forfeited.
They used his choices instead.
You forfeited.
They used his choices instead.
He tells a celebrity pregnancy.
Nick had some good ones.
Celebrity pregnancy?
Yeah.
Yeah, celebrity pregnancy, A-lister.
All right, Vermont State casted money on Lost Again.
Sexy Red.
Sexy Red is now pregnant.
Sexy Red.
Announced her pregnancy this weekend.
Wait, she's pregnant again?
Uh-huh. Fuck. Yeah. And then I took Sexy Red is now pregnant. Sexy Red. Announced her pregnancy this weekend. Wait, she's pregnant again? Uh-huh.
Fuck.
Yeah.
And then I took the 99 Reds money line.
That was a huge one.
Walk off.
TJ, what's the gift in the bottom corner?
Free money.
Kyle, did you see Mark's?
Your impression of us was...
Oh, my God.
We lost audio. We lost audio at the end. Oh, my God. We lost the audio.
We lost the audio at the end.
You're a demon.
The impression was so spot on.
Dude, I kept playing it for everyone.
They were like, I've never been.
You play it, TJ?
That was spot on.
That was perfect.
Yeah, it was only one word, but.
Yeah.
That's all you need.
I did.
Nailed both the words.
I practiced before I came in.
And then I was off.
My impression of KB being asked if he can squat 135 pounds.
Yeah. yeah this is my impression of
Nick being asked if he can squat
135 pounds
no
I gotta retire him
I'll never do him again
that was it I'll never do him again That's it That was it I'll never do Crushed him
Absolutely crushed him
Did you drink for like
15 hours
Yeah I did
I can't believe I showed up
To your show
That was the same night
I was drunk off Hennessy
At 9.30am
And at 9pm
I was
Still kicking dude
I don't know how I did
I got drunk 3 times that day
When we gathered for the act There was like a distinct musk amongst the group.
Like, yeah.
Yeah.
Hennessy Friday.
It is funny how quickly that can happen at Barstool.
You're like, I'm just drunk all day?
I guess I'm drunk.
And I'm working?
And people are just like, oh, you work at Barstool.
You're probably drunk.
And I get defensive.
I'm like, no.
Yeah.
Hennessy Friday.
Yeah, except on Henny Friday.
And Casey.
Friends visiting from New York,
they got in Thursday night
and I was hanging out with them, obviously.
And then I was like, yeah,
I got to go to work tomorrow morning
doing a show.
And just FYI,
I'll probably be drunk when I come back.
So I don't know how that's going to go.
They're like, what is it?
I was like, yeah, don't ask.
Yeah, I brought Aiden in all week, and at the end of the week,
he was like, so what do you actually do for work?
Yeah.
He was like.
Same job.
I got to run and do the rundown.
You guys can keep yakking, but I got to run and do the rundown.
I don't want to be accused of keeping the show short.
Big three crew?
Yes, big three crew.
So just tell me when you spin the wheel.
I'll let me know.
I'm not leaving
i'm doing it in the other room all right real quick well seniority is a chase
yeah red onions the floor is yours i think the vidalia sweet onion sauce is a very good condiment
what about the hawaiian sweet onion chip the best one of my favorites if not my favorite i've never
had that oh hawaiian sweet onion chip homina homina the my favorites, if not my favorite. I've never had that. Oh.
Hawaiian sweet onion chip.
Homina homina.
The bag is a little too matte.
I don't like the feeling of the bag.
Yeah.
But the treasure's inside.
Mm.
Mm.
So what's the worst onion, Che?
Rotten.
I'm not a big white onion guy.
I feel like they're overrated. Mm, damn. I love red onions on almost everything. You're not a big white onion guy. I feel like they're overrated.
Mmm, damn.
I love red onions on almost everything.
You're not a big white onion guy?
Block of the year one?
Yeah, yeah, you're pivoting hard.
Yellow onions are okay.
You just like white blockers.
He's going to overcompensate and give it out to O Block.
Yeah, yeah.
The O Block of the year.
I'll go to point three on my other section.
Do you all fuck with ginger ale?
I don't fuck with ginger ale.
Yes.
I do.
Ginger ale's great.
With age, it's better than Sprite.
What does that mean, with age?
We don't need all the kick that a Sprite has.
Oh, I see.
What's the Michigan ginger ale, Verner's?
Cures the flu.
Really?
Apparently.
People in Michigan will die for Verner's.
What do they put?
Ice cream in ginger ale?
Oh, I don't know.
Their own word for that?
Do they be doing that?
I think they be.
But they name it after a different...
Wait, what's city?
I'll just say it.
I've never had ginger ale.
Is it bitter?
It's like Sprite?
It's really good, and it smells so good.
No, I've never had ginger ale.
Yeah, you were talking shit.
Yeah, I was.
I don't think that's ridiculous.
It is ridiculous.
I don't think it's ridiculous. Your mommy didn't care about you. I don't think that's that. It is ridiculous. Your mommy didn't care about you.
I don't think that's that standard.
Is it that standard of a drink?
Yes.
I've had ginger ale.
It's in my top.
I think there's a timeline where I could have easily never had ginger ale in my life.
It's in my top three drank and pops in my life.
Really?
Quantity-wise.
We used to do a punch that was ginger ale, a little bit of cranberry juice, and sherbet.
Oh, yeah, same.
And it was such special little punch.
That sounds good.
I love that we bring up Chase questions to mock him, and then we get caught in the vortex,
and we're fucking cashing it out.
My fridge growing up was a bottle of squirt.
Oh, whenever you got sick, it was.
A squirt.
Squirt.
Squirt's just piss.
What is squirt? It's a Boston cooler. A Boston was. Squirt. Squirt. Squirt's just piss. What is squirt?
It's a Boston cooler.
A Boston cooler.
It's a Detroit staple.
Vernors and ice cream.
Well, they just take Boston.
They also steal Coney dogs.
Do they?
Yeah.
It's all their thing, yeah.
Oh, I did see a couple of hot dog restaurants side by side in downtown Detroit, and they
were talking about their hot dogs.
Hot dogs are good. What were you doing in downtown Detroit?
That was a couple years ago when we were doing the casino stuff.
Okay.
It was in COVID, so nothing was open.
They were just walking around Detroit.
I guess you could walk around Detroit now when it's open.
I like Detroit.
You could walk around any city, really.
Yeah.
If you're valid there.
Yeah.
I'm valid in most cities.
How was Baton Rouge?
Arkansas.
Nowhere in the state of Arkansas, right?
Well, I can't be in Arkansas.
They don't like it.
Or Iowa.
Okay.
Iowa.
I'm hating it.
What are you missing out on?
Yeah, Baton Rouge was fine.
A little hot.
It was like 76 degrees.
Oh.
And it was in the sun, so I couldn't really take that.
But I did not get a migraine, so.
Yeah. Did you panic or you stayed?
No, I stayed.
So the picture you took with Spider, how long after that were you in bed?
Like 30 minutes when you were like, boys are out on the town
or whatever you captioned it?
I was in bed by 10.30.
I was in bed by 10.30.
We went to Hardy.
Baton Rouge is not ready for us.
Did you smoke weed?
I did not smoke weed.
I did not smoke weed.
I would have loved to, but that wasn't presented to me as an option that night.
We got to get you on the Kush account.
I drank vodka that night.
Vodka?
Yeah.
Tito's and Sprite was my drink of choice.
I've been DMing stoners so I can do the stoners of the week,
smoke shows, but they're actually exhaling cool.
Big plans, a lot of things in the works.
To be honest, kind of overwhelming.
Yeah, we're kind of having to drop everything to run Barstool Kush.
It might be the biggest prospect account at Barstool right now.
Fastest growth.
Yesterday's had me going.
I don't even remember yesterday's. stoner girl oh yeah she was hot
she was hot hell yeah branny watched some foot volleyball this weekend i was watching
foot volleyball yeah i was turning so i have this channel on i have the youtube tv the sports pack
all kind of stuff last sunday night it was Major League Tag.
What?
Major League Tag.
And then last night was Pro Foot Volley, which is volleyball but with your feet.
And it was pretty goddamn cool.
It's like Brazilian, right?
Yeah.
You can only hit it with your chest.
You can't hit it with your arms at all.
Yeah, we got it.
Your chest, your head, and your feet.
And if you spike it with your feet, you get two points instead of one point. Spike it with your arms at all. Your chest, your head, and your feet. And if you spike
it with your feet, you get two points instead
of one point. Spike it with your...
How high is the net? It's called a shark.
How high is the net? I don't know, like six feet?
It's pretty impressive.
It's not a normal volleyball. No. They can get up there
and spike it with their feet. They call it a shark.
Watch this. Yeah, show me a shark.
Alright, this is... It's at the end of this
next point.
It's... I want to hate on it, but. Watch this. Yeah. Show me a shark. All right. This is it's at the end of this next point. It's it's I want to hate on it.
But watch this motherfucker.
OK.
Keep playing.
All right.
So far, this shit sucks.
We're getting there.
We're getting there.
We're getting there.
Soon as he kicks it off, he serves it.
And then this is Superboy on the left.
Superboy is the star.
OK.
Yeah.
Number one.
Yeah.
Number one.
Bam. Bam. Whoa. bam whoa that was a shark
that's a shark and he gets two points for that I don't know why they call it a
shark how did he kick that like with this like put topspin on it with this
feeling yeah the heel of his foot mm-hmm because that wasn't that wasn't yeah I'm
confused I don't know I gotta've got to look at that again.
What's confusing about it is volleyball with their feet.
I would have assumed when you said spike that you're bringing your foot –
like it's a bicycle kick in soccer.
Like you're kicking it with the top of your foot.
No, I'm kicking it with the bottom.
But he was facing forward, and that's not – I've never seen a kick such as that.
When I play, I don't kick it that way.
That's why I was –
You kick it with the heel.
Yeah. No, when I play, I usually bring the foot around top when I spike. Oh, kick such as that. When I play, I don't kick it that way. That's why I was – You kick it with the heel. Yeah.
No, when I play, I usually bring the foot around top when I spike.
Oh, like a karate kick.
Yeah, so that's a little different than how I play.
Yeah, well, this was Brazilian rules.
Got you, got you.
Not American.
Little tits got big ups.
Yeah, there was pro tag last week, and they get into it.
Have you all ever seen that?
No.
That was the – the Watts, like – there was y'all ever seen that no that was the the watts
like there was like a show on fox that was this there's like a little obstacle course
the watts hosted this there's like bars and and and stuff and they're running and hiding
places and it gets intense but it's awful and i would
ultimate tag something or other was it like hosted Like hosted by the Watt, JJ and TJ and the other one.
And that's it.
They just play tag.
Adults playing tag.
I would imagine if the sound is on, they're both just giggling.
No, I don't think there's any giggling.
Like those MLB highlights, like no announcers, no nothing,
and it's just them just, yeah.
You almost got me.
Got to be quicker than that.
There's too many pro sports.
Yeah, we appreciate every feat of athleticism except for the quarterback.
Oh, my God.
You think they just don't get the love, huh?
I think we just hold them to a standard that's impossible.
Well, that's why there are stars.
We put guys on pedestals.
There are no stars
yeah it's true so what i agree i agree with kyle this is this i very much agree with kyle
comparing everyone to patrick mahomes i very much agree with kyle on this this is that we held the
way this is the smartest thing these companies ever but here's the thing though i feel like the
quality of quarterback play is the lowest this year that's been in a long time teams aren't
scoring as many points that's an objective that's a fact but the quality of quarterback play is the lowest this year that it's been in a long time. Teams aren't scoring as many points.
That's an objective.
That's a fact.
But the quality of running back play is too.
Yeah, it has gone down.
Yeah, but quarterbacks always have to answer for it.
They always have.
I don't think it's a newfound scenario.
No.
You need to watch Desmond Ritter's game yesterday.
I didn't watch that.
Yeah, that was bad. I watched the Titans back up's game yesterday. I didn't watch that. Yeah. That was bad.
I watched the Titans back up, and that—
Malik Willis?
That was—that last drive was bad because he—it wasn't because of his skill set.
It was because he had no awareness.
People thought he was going to go—
He's not very good.
No.
P.J. Walker won a game, though, and Zach Wilson won a game.
So P.J. Walker beats the best team in the league,
and everyone's like, oh, look at this dumbass who beat the 49ers.
The 49ers without McCow.
That was the whole narrative.
The 49ers lost to this piece of shit.
Just give him some credit.
Jeez.
The 49ers lost to this?
P.J. Walker's a dog.
Def-Fowl League. He started at Temple, I think then XFL, PJ Walker's a dog Def Alley
he started at Temple
I think then XFL
and then
he had a couple
starting appearances
I believe
yeah
do you like anyone
tonight KB
Chargers
Dallas
I have Jake Ferguson
Lamb Ferguson
and
three touchdowns
yeah it's like
plus 9,000.
Okay.
If he gets like two in the first half, what an experience I'll be watching.
Uh-huh.
I'm putting out Lamb, Ferguson, and Allen.
Lamb, Ferguson, and Allen.
So you're expecting the Cowboys to score first?
Oh, no, Keenan Allen.
I'm sorry.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
It doesn't matter.
Are they mental bets or did you put them in?
I'm going to put it in.
Wow.
He's back.
Austin Eckler is back?
Yeah.
He'll probably score first.
Well, he might.
I don't know.
He might not.
He's hungry for end zone.
Then bet him.
That's not a good payout.
Okay.
Sorry.
Can we get an update on the Yak League?
Because we didn't do an update last week because you weren't here.
Your first win.
Whoa.
Over who?
So who goes to last place then?
Still you.
You were really bad.
One of the worst drafted teams I've ever seen, Kate.
I like driving.
I like road trips.
This is a long one.
Oh, you're going to beat me.
There you go.
Idiot.
Well, I still have Justin Herbear
Oh but yeah but
It's a kicker thing yeah
What is this?
I guess he could win
Yeah sure
The kicker got 67 though that's tough to
I mean that's just
That's tough to beat
She got zero from two guys
and she's gonna win
two guys that are out
what kind of fucking league is this Che
you guys that are out
pay attention Sass would have won his match against Zav
whoever's kicker was missed
or Tyler Bass made any of his 50 yard field goals
I can't believe nobody cares about
I'm locked did I win are any of you in like a real real fan
you guys all are yeah i'm in uh one league that's a 500 buy-in
and the second one is a 25 buy-in but last place has to get a tattoo
the one i care about the most yeah okay has the tattoo as a bet lost its luster i feel like
everybody does tattoo some dude in philly just got a 9-11 tattoo on him it's like a philly comic
league so they'd really destroy you yeah they're mean people is there a size limit that like it's
gonna be the size or no you have no say at all uh i think you can do size and placement okay like
the guy that lost the first year had to get a QR code of another comics like Linktree on his thigh.
Tattoos have become so commonplace.
I don't even know if it's that much of a punishment.
Can they tattoo a QR code faithfully?
Yeah.
To where it could actually work?
Yeah.
It works.
That's impressive.
What?
What?
Ish?
QR codes get paid for. What? What? Ish? QR code you have to pay for.
What do you mean?
Over time, that QR code would stop working probably.
Yeah.
Okay.
Or it would fade.
Or your skin would stretch.
Either the QR code would expire or your skin would stop working.
So you have to re-up it all the time?
Yeah.
He has to get it reworked every year.
Oh, God.
I don't even... I'll never even consider getting a
tattoo was that tattoo to the wheel no all right um how's uh how's your body been good yeah good
also my anxiety's down a little bit yeah i think i don't know i'm sleeping i'll try to sleep better
last night's dreams were uh where i went fishing and just caught a bunch of fish it was great that's a good ass dream yeah catfish damn
and i was nervous that they were gonna bite me but have you seen that tiktoker that has the eel
pit in his basement yes yes that water is crystal clear yeah do you know eels are like big money
you said this yeah i, I know. I said it before.
Money.
What about it?
I don't know.
My aunt and uncle almost went to the eel biz like in the 70s and they're like, we still kick ourselves.
We're not going in the eel business?
Oh, I don't like that hole.
But apparently it's like really tough to keep.
So like you have to have extreme measures like this and that's why they're so expensive because it is tough to keep. Oh, it's like really tough to keep. So like you have to have extreme measures like this.
And that's why they're so expensive because it is tough to keep. Oh, it's beautiful water.
Yeah, it's clear ass water.
So they're trapping eels out of there?
No, no, no.
They just buy, they raise eels.
How do you think they'd trap an eel?
I mean, there's got to be an eel market, right?
If they're expensive.
Oh, yeah.
But those, those aren't all eels.
Those are some regular fish too, right?
Some sturgeon for some caviar.
Huh.
So do they raise them and then eat them?
I don't know what they do.
They sell them.
They sell them.
There's like a market, like a solid market for eels.
There's one.
Just to eat, right?
I think so, yeah.
Huh.
I wonder how you even go about building that.
You have that room.
Yeah.
It's like a manhole.
You'd think it was a pit for something else before.
It was a pit for something else, but what?
They used to keep people down there.
Yeah, torture.
Or a cage fighting pit.
Something like that.
A fight club was what pit was for sure.
What movie is Sarlacc from?
The Sarlacc pit.
That's what Luke was, yeah.
Sarlacc.
Too wean.
Yeah.
If I wanted to just start digging down,
because I bought, like, you buy a house.
If I wanted to just start digging down into the ground underneath my house,
I could do that, right?
I don't think so.
Hell of a lot of determination.
But if, but like, what's...
I forget the land rule.
There's some codes and some permits.
You think you own your land all the way to the core of the earth?
I don't know.
Don't you a little bit?
Kate, you live on 9 million acres of vertical land.
If nobody knew you were doing it.
Yeah.
Could you add another basement?
Like, that's what I'm saying.
Can you do a second?
Yeah, I guess you could build, people build underground bunkers to their house, right?
They do that.
Why are you making that face?
They do that.
Safe houses are built right now.
Like bomb back in the 60s, they built that shit.
I had a friend who built like a weed basement, a secondary weed basement that was hidden within their other basement.
Why hidden?
Because it was illegal at the time, I guess, or whatever.
But it was like really nice.
And they said it took them like a long, long time to do it discreetly
because they couldn't get permits.
Yeah, were they bringing the dirt out of their house like Shawshank Redemption?
Like, out of their pants, just kicking it around their yard.
But, like, they said they had to be, like, pretty careful about it.
I don't know.
What's stopping you?
I would love to have a second basement
because then you're, like, down in your basement.
They're just like, what's this door?
That's a second basement. Basement two. we have an eel pit in the new office i believe
yeah we do yeah yeah we do it's actually getting done before the anus studio long before
eminence high school in eminence indiana the eels really eminence eels wait so nice nickname yes
the west point green wave no no no the one you're currently the antioch sea courts Eminence Eels. Wait, so nice nickname. The West Point Green Wave.
No, no, no, no.
The one you're currently.
The Antioch Seacoits.
They're the only one.
Really?
Somebody's found a website that's a chart of every high school nickname and how many there are.
I bet there's a bunch of ones, though.
There's a ton of ones.
Huh.
Shout out to the Yankton Bucks out there in South Dakota.
Shouted them out.
They're the powerhouse team, right?
They're pretty good.
They're not as good as Pierre, as Riggs and Pierre.
There's what?
I've done this.
You follow South Dakota high school football?
I like to follow all states of high school football.
This is not something I've done exclusively.
They do like six-man, seven-man.
Well, I think they have eight-man football,
but they also have 11-man football.
Yeah.
I think they have a lot of classifications shockingly more class schools in each classification what what state what state is the best high school football like
real high school football not like fucking img academy yeah private it's either obviously
california or texas right oh yeah i think louis Louisiana is probably slept on. It's really good.
Georgia is really good.
Some classic Brandon Walker.
I always name too many, don't I? I'm like, what state?
What secular state?
California.
I'll give you 12.
Texas.
T-E-X-A-N.
Still Texas?
Yeah, I think so.
You still think so?
Yeah.
All right.
I gave you an answer.
What city?
Galveston.
Texas has the most script spelling bee winners out of any state.
Really?
Well, that has a lot of people.
Florida has nine.
Wow.
Second.
I learned that on a game show not too long ago.
That's right.
Huh.
We should go to a Texas high school football game.
That's confusing because the spelling bee winner is never a white kid.
Never, ever.
No.
No. because the spelling bee winner is never a white kid. Never, ever. No, no.
Jay, you should give out your own spelling bee to the top white kid speller.
Best white speller.
Best white speller in the country.
There might be some legitimacy to that
because we did a Barstool spelling bee
maybe four years ago, three or four years ago,
I think Vibs hosted it.
And I did it and he eliminated me
and then he called me back i think a week later and said there was an issue the word he spelled
is correct but he's not one the bar one right true there's something about white people we
can't spell damn they're great at blocking and damn damn new stereotype found look at us
Then we create all the words
Yeah, why people invented words
Some words some bad ones
Let's say all the words white people invented. I'll go last.
Impromptu two-man antler draft.
You go first.
Moose.
Caribou.
Bigger.
Four feet.
Wrecked.
Elk.
No, it's over. No, it's not over.
How's it over?
It was a draft.
Yeah, that's it.
It was a draft.
That was a snake draft.
All right, I'll even forfeit my pick.
I'm still winning.
You're going with caribou you think beats moose and elk combined? I mean, elk has a wall. I'll even forfeit my pick. I'm still winning.
Caribou, do you think beats moose and elk combined?
I mean, elk has a wall. Caribou antlers?
What's the difference between horns and antlers?
Do you shed antlers?
Antlers are in high demand for how light and sturdy they are.
Antler spray.
What are you using?
Well, they're trying to grow.
Scientists are trying to grow antlers.
That's caribou?
God damn.
I mean, elk is up there with caribou. you ever seen antlers shedding scary sight yeah there's blood all over
the tree from them rubbing the velvet off those things are beautiful great pick kyle yep so yeah
great well now wait a minute let me see elk look at that i think i won the antler draft
give me a chance the Make the graphic. Oh.
Damn it, you did beat me.
Oh, they're little.
Yeah.
Well, give me a good moose.
Let me see a moose.
Can we put a graphic that's like the snake drafts?
Kyle just with one pick.
Brandon with two.
Who won?
Moose got good antlers.
Moose got.
Those are some good antlers.
They're unique.
Good jowls on a moose.
They're open-handed.
Moose are big.
Do y'all know how big moose are? Yeah, that's what we said. They're gigantic. They're unique. Good jowls. Those are open-handed. Moose are big. Do y'all know how big moose are?
Yeah, that's what we said.
They're gigantic.
They're gigantic.
Wait, wait.
Yeah, look up antler shedding.
They have like velvet on them.
That's kind of gross, though.
What?
It's disgusting.
There's veins on antlers?
Oh, over top.
Yeah, when they grow them out, there's like a velvet skin.
Yeah.
Yeah, you don't want to look at them.
Uh-uh.
Antler is the fastest growing tissue in the world in all of biology damn who was the athlete that said i'm not doing steroids
ray lewis oh my god moose are fucking terrifying most are terrifying they kill people i've never
seen one in the wild. We have.
Well, not in the wild. Yeah, we got it right up close.
They're terrifying.
Yeah, we had to,
we were wearing orange.
Ugly.
And we had to take off our orange
because it was like
getting mad at us.
So what's the caribou's habitat?
Is it North American
or is it?
Alaska.
Alaska?
That's it?
Same, does it overrun with elk?
Canada, right?
The Rockies.
Does it overrun with elk? Does it overrun with elk?
I think so
What do you call a swimming hoofed beast?
I think you're talking about elk horn
I don't know
They can swim really far too
Surprisingly
Where's elk horn?
Is that Pennsylvania?
I don't know
What is it about the cold that gets these big deer creatures?
Moose? Elk?ibou. It's all
cold weather, is it not?
Are reindeer big? I bet.
I don't know if reindeer are big or small.
They might be both. I wouldn't look at one and be like,
that thing's tiny. Caribou live in the
Arctic tundra, mountain tundra, and northern forests
of North America, Russia, and Scandinavia.
Scandinavia. Scandinavia.
There is a black bear just walking around Gatlinburg.
What?
So black bears don't...
The only black thing in Gatlinburg?
You can scare him off pretty easy.
My nephew, my brother-in-law.
Pop off your dog.
Yeah, slim pickings.
There's the bear and the nephew Wow, okay Gatlinburg does feel like a place
So Gatlinburg was the hotness like 40 years ago
I think now you gotta go
Is it that? I think it's relatively newer
Is it? What? Yeah.
I remember them going when I was a kid.
I didn't know.
I thought Asheville was the new thing.
Asheville's new.
Pigeon Forge is leading into Gatlinburg, and that's like everything is like a fast food
restaurant or like the Titanic crashing into an iceberg building.
There is a Titanic museum out there, hopefully enough.
Oh, he looks like a criminal in there.
Was that guy shirtless in his photo?
Yeah.
That bear's just chilling, man.
Bears are cool.
Why do people get so brave like this?
Like, what?
I want to, like, hug one.
It's a pretty little mountain town, Kyle.
It's cool.
It's colorful if you're into that.
I feel like calling it the Myrtle Beach of the Mountains
Is the perfect
It's what it was
But so crowded
Yeah
You been?
Yes
I've been
Did the whole Dollywood thing
And uh
Did you uh
Stay sober?
The mountain coaster is insane
That's actually terrifying
Yeah
Sober I had
Three drinks
Oh There you go
Moderation
TJ let me
You even get a buzz from them?
Yeah cause I've been fasting
I'm gonna send you this picture TJ
Why are you cutting right now?
I feel so much better
Like around this time
When I don't eat
Yeah
Yeah
You getting ready for your
Bout with autism?
I don't know.
I don't know.
You're not going to do it?
Probably not.
Oh.
Did you get it, TJ?
Yeah. yeah so tommy tommy took my uh my wife and other took the wife and kids out to lunch today
courtesy tommy took them out yeah courtesy a big cat oh
yeah they went out and got that oh that's awesome that's his favorite food
ramen is yeah damn good he's an anime boy. He is.
Yeah.
He is even giving the peace sign.
Yeah.
He's having a good time.
He's all in.
Yeah.
I guess you want to go and spin the wheel? What was so funny, Stephen?
You just laughed out of nowhere.
What was that?
Stephen?
Over here?
Stephen?
Is he on a delay watching this show?
Stephen!
Jay!
Jay!
What are you doing? What Jay! What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What the holy hell was that?
You laughed and we said,
what are you laughing at?
You just didn't, you weren't here with us.
So you were laughing at the clip
that you were making?
What clip is it?
It's the impromptu two-man antler draft
that had us cracking up you didn't laugh that hard when the draft happened
that'll go viral good choice
who needs to submit their uh smut i gotta do it tonight. Oh, I still need to. I'll have it tonight, DJ.
I'm not leaving the office today until I finish.
How far along are we?
I have like two pages.
About halfway.
I did the thing where I ended up putting too much thought.
Same.
I'm like, the storyline has to be good.
I think all of these stories will represent our personalities.
Like, yeah, we're into it.
And they're just like, what?
And then it's slowly. It's bad. I think all of these stories will represent our personalities like yeah we're into it and they're just like what this is bad
well the more I go back and read it the less
sense it makes
I stopped like using
synonyms and I was just describing everything as
big or tight
I went so hard in the first half
I'm very excited for mine to come out
I'm very excited you think it might open a new career path
yeah i really do i really think it might lead to i had i had a blast writing it i don't write
anymore and this got me to start writing again i felt the same little wave when i first saw it i
want to do more yeah yeah i'm not going to but yeah i want to start writing a little bit but
i tj asked me to do the about the author for the back.
But since we're all the author, I think we should just maybe like tomorrow popcorn every other word for the back of the cover.
Yeah, like that.
Okay.
You're not going to be here.
I'm not going to be here.
Damn shit.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, we're doing some more game nights with Francis and Rowan finishing
off a season
of that,
and then we'll
be doing a
boy story episode.
Do we pick a
game?
Yeah,
they have,
I think.
All right.
All right.
Do you guys
have something
on the erotica?
Do you guys
get boned up
when you're
Oh,
my God.
That's the
yak.
That's the
yak.
That's the
yak.
It's the Yak. That's the Yak. Yeah, it's time to talk shop.
We're doing Yankee swap.
It's the Yak.
It's the Yak.
See you tomorrow.
Bye.