The Yak - Big Cat's Latest Impulse Purchase Has Us SPINNING | The Yak 10-4-23

Episode Date: October 4, 2023

Fat Bear Week foreverYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up. Hey. Someone commented that it made it look like a hostage situation. Did we clap? I'm not moving. When do hostages clap? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:00:38 Yeah, that's. I've never seen the hostage clap. I've never seen. Yeah, it would look more like a hostage situation if we're getting our heads chopped off. How many hostages have you seen in general, Brandon? Yeah, matter of time. Oh, landed on Brandon. Roback.com, promo code yak. 20% off your first purchase.
Starting point is 00:00:53 Roback.com, promo code yak. Roback.com, promo code yak. Q-Zips, polos. Q-Zips. Q-Zips. Why do I hear Brandon's voice? Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com, promo code yak.
Starting point is 00:01:05 Ow! Fuck me! Let's go. We got Stu Finer in the building. Hey, Stu. Hey, ready to roll. No, it's Tommy. Gotcha. I guess Tommy ranked your
Starting point is 00:01:21 bustiest co-workers? Okay. That was really good. Thank you. Thank you. Hello, everyone. What's up? I got to pay for my book.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Hold on. You guys start. I just had to join Barstool Radio, so I'm late on my brain. You guys start yakking. Ensemble cast today. It is. Rat race. Smokes.
Starting point is 00:01:43 How are you, Smokes? Good. How are you guys? Smokes, how do you feel about Tommy or Nicky smokes I like him I haven't known him too much so far not related by blood I don't know I don't think so
Starting point is 00:01:56 never mind what else could you be related by by in-laws but we're not that either not that either I want to do a show with you two and call it Nicky Nicky Smoke Smokes. That'd be a good show, I think. Yeah, what would we talk about? Gambling.
Starting point is 00:02:13 What's been going on in the world of Nicky Nicky Smoke Smokes? Yeah. Nicky Nicky Smoke Smokes. I like that. Food reviews. Gambling picks. So I'm surprised you accepted that offer even though you have last billing. Because you're an egomaniac. offer the nicki nicki no i'm i'm the first smokes no no that's so it's nicki nicki smokes nicki nicki smoke smokes yeah so it's you and then he's the
Starting point is 00:02:37 only one with both names yeah okay that would be the linking it then you'd be like oh save the best for last ah fuck didn't think of that you got me there kyle where's that back massager it's charging i couldn't figure out how to work but thank you cliff he saw my back was in pain one day on the yak and sent me a wait did you just wince or something or is he watching i was in on you oh yeah what kind of back hurting what kind of massager is it? It's like a band that you strap around your back. Oh. Nice. Clip D. Martino, one of our biggest fans.
Starting point is 00:03:14 The biggest. That might be a little too much of a fan, but. I DM him about Pokemon Go all the time. Really? He has every one of our interests. He's giving me a parking sign like Stephen Che had. What's yours going to say? Brandon fucking Walker. No title? Probably not. No. i mean i'm not the vp of football operations nobody is i think he's also a co-worker now i think isn't he like building the new office i don't think
Starting point is 00:03:34 that makes he's setting up i'm not sure that makes him a co-worker contractors yeah contracted co-worker they're not gonna stay home with us once the building is built i don't know he was he's been he's been around he was in the ac guy in New York, he feels like he's got a lot of work. I got a lot of work. Three days a week. And the guy with the mohawk. The one-eyed man with the mohawk. Mark.
Starting point is 00:03:54 He's a lingerer. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Sorry about that. I was five minutes behind doing Barstool Radio. What's up, everyone? Hey.
Starting point is 00:04:03 Tommy, Rico. What's up? You in good mood, Rico mood rico yeah we just taped a gallon pick them i know dave reversed it all on me it was me versus dave because he's a swifty and uh do you stand with me tommy to the smokes army can i call in the smokes army uh i'm not sure yet i'd have to i'd have to run the numbers as to who has more and then i could decide on where the smokes army goes because i don't want the swifties against me either but i also don't want all your so you're gonna send the smokes army to whichever army has the most people yes i hope we don't get there i'm a bandwagon it's not to endanger the smokes army at all right it's like oh we just kind of sit back uh and hopefully the war is over by the time
Starting point is 00:04:43 we're called on the nick heads are armed and dangerous for you whenever. It's a good name. All the today's the day. We're just all the like press writes about it, which is fun. Wait, you have that. I saw for stool. For stool. We got a shout out.
Starting point is 00:04:54 Yeah. In the article. Rolling Stones, New York Post Newsweek reached out. I hope they run my comment because they asked for comment. And they were like like they emailed me it was like can a representative of big cat please release a comment so i just released a comment in the third person i said dan has a firm set of beliefs that if he doesn't see something with his own two eyes then it doesn't exist for instance he doesn't believe in dinosaurs the great wall
Starting point is 00:05:19 of china or that the continent of europe exists as he's never seen those things he went to france once it was pretty chill. Furthermore, he has since lessened his demands on proof of relationship from over-the-pants handjob to Taylor and Travis sitting next to each other, half watching a Netflix show while they scrolled through their phones, only to tell the other, are you even watching every 15 minutes until they go turn it off and go to bed? So hopefully they run that.
Starting point is 00:05:41 That's fair. I hope they run that because that would just be a great line right next to Rachel Ziegler being like, this guy needs to be in jail. Oh, yeah, Snow White. The other New Yorker. Oh, she's up my ass.
Starting point is 00:05:52 She blocked me. Have any women came up to you in person? No. Okay. Turn your phone off. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Yeah. Here we go. I mean, I don't even know if you'll be able to hear The woman bitch at you Because they'll have like Four masks on Yeah people are going
Starting point is 00:06:11 They're still going hard at me They're doing weird shit Threatening me Threatening my family Is there any Has anything changed Any like variance In how they diss you
Starting point is 00:06:20 Some are getting pretty graphic Which is like I It's like one guy was like i'm gonna dream of fucking your daughter tonight she's too dude that's pedophile also like and that's what taylor swift would have wanted yeah right happy that i did the one guy pointed out which was great because there's a bunch of threads that i'm just tagged in and one guy was like just so we're clear like taylor swift has a huge security team not for like Dan, but for people like you who are defending her to the point of bullying people online and saying you want to fuck two year olds.
Starting point is 00:06:51 Is this the first time where like the hit pieces have been mainly all about you? Van Tok. Van Tok was a big one. I got I got a lot in that one. Yeah. Because Sam Ponder wrote the article. She tweeted a blog post, and it actually wasn't written by me, and she attributed it to me, so everyone just ran with that. So, yeah, it's okay. I feel good. I feel strong. I feel confident.
Starting point is 00:07:16 It's tough when they come at you. I kind of want to go. I had the thought last night of, like, what if I just went to Taylor Swift's next concert in Argentina? And that would be the place yeah they had the best crowds for concert yeah and they wouldn't care oh shit I forgot I have something for us today oh oh I think I know oh fuck yeah fuck yeah is it food no three MLB players in the top ten most hits of all time. Their last name ends in ER. Oh.
Starting point is 00:07:48 Derek Jeter. Shit. Honus Wagner. There's Jeter. Yeah, yeah. Derek Jeter, Honus Wagner. You would have got the trivia. Triss Speaker?
Starting point is 00:08:00 Yeah, wow. Wow. Good, Tommy. Thank you. Good job, Tommy. Oh, my God. What what are these do they work are you all the drunk goggles yeah do you do i look fuckable the band around them says totally wasted you're not even close you're not even close dab me up
Starting point is 00:08:19 hell yeah and they look cool Alright We have to do a Like some sort of Field test We have to sprint Say Yeah
Starting point is 00:08:32 They're that bad? You have to set a mousetrap Dan Dan catch We see these bad boys. Dude, they're so good. What are you... That's the totally wasted version?
Starting point is 00:08:51 This is totally wasted. This is, I think, a BAC of.3. Hell yeah. I can't... So, I... This might be... I had to stop myself this morning because I have them...
Starting point is 00:09:02 You almost drove with them? Shit. I was like, what if I just went around the block they're crazy are you really drunk? no it's just drunk or is it just like general dizzy it's like making it like your vision it's like yeah it's basically like prisms it's like equated to like prisms
Starting point is 00:09:23 your hands oh hand man that's sick a blackout drunk that's fucking crazy it's crazy i think maybe some type of mousetrap having to pick up mousetraps yeah i don't think maybe we have to navigate our hand through a maze. They're pretty sick. It's like more psychedelic than drunk. Yeah, it's like very dizzying. Jesus Christ. Whoa. Yeah. Drunk goggles.
Starting point is 00:09:53 I might need to buy a pair for everyone. Oh, imagine yak basketball with drunk goggles. Or with box or something. Dude. Yeah, we are. So breaking news, we are playing yak basketball at the barstool invitation perfect so let's yeah yeah let's each have like some sort of item so maybe these boxing gloves like we spin a wheel boxing gloves would be so funny yeah yeah flippers on your
Starting point is 00:10:19 back oh man we have to do we'll have to do a dry run when we get to the new office where we'll spin a wheel and play yak basketball with different, yeah, drunk goggles, flippers, boxing gloves. I'm going to fuck the tallest woman in here. You were completely sober when you did that, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, this isn't that bad. I don't know. What if you walk? You can't get
Starting point is 00:10:40 like hit. Do a quick sprint. Yeah. Real quick. Real quick lap sprint around the coffee table. Hit the lap real quick. Real quick lap. Around the coffee table. No, no, quick lap. Do a lap, Tommy. Quick lap around the coffee table.
Starting point is 00:10:49 Is it that hard? Go on a hop. It's your perception, your depth perception. Yeah, I'm going to. Run around the coffee table. Go. I can't. Just go.
Starting point is 00:10:58 Run. What are you doing? You're trying to run right? You think you're running? What is this, Tommy? All right, Rico, you do a run around Tommy catch this mousetrap that on a drop oh that was a great fucking scream who did who was that I will do the I will do the mouth strap. Run.
Starting point is 00:11:26 He's nice. You can tell he's experienced. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. Got it. Oh, shit. Got it. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:11:39 He's good. He's so close to falling every time. No, he's got it down. Yeah, he's good. He's so close to falling every time. No, he's got it down. Yeah, he's good. He's having the time of his life. He really is. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Starting point is 00:11:57 Show me an athlete. Oh, shut up. That was a corner in the fucking quad, dude. He's got to be an athlete. That was a corner in the quad quad, dude. That was a corner in the quad. That's tough. A little bit faster than Tommy. That hurts. That hurts.
Starting point is 00:12:17 Hey, you're running in circles. That makes sense. Fast as fuck. Oh, my God. Yeah, trunk goggles. They're in. Kyle, what do you think? I think I gotta get a buy. I gotta think I gotta buy like 10 pairs.
Starting point is 00:12:34 This is like... I've never gotten drunk and seen like that. No time trial. We need to be able to compete all wearing the same thing. Drunk goggle basketball. Ooh, backwards goggles that have the mirrors where you can only see behind you. It would be funny if we played the egg game with drunk goggles. Oh, we should.
Starting point is 00:12:52 All right, I'm going to have to buy 10 more pairs. Brandon, you do a lap real quick. I'd like to see your heart rate. No, I don't know. Maneuver. Thank you. Oh, put them back on. What, they were fine? Run around. What are you doing,. Thank you. Put them back on. What, they were fine?
Starting point is 00:13:06 Run around. What are you doing, Titus? Just put them back on, Brandon. What are you doing, Titus? Go ahead and throw those back on. See what happens. Oh, Nick, you look really bad without your hat on. I think being out in the sunlight, too, would make a difference.
Starting point is 00:13:25 Oh, whoa. It's like... Yeah, see? And you're over. Zah. Zah hates this shit. Zah, give it a shot. Zah's going to fire off.
Starting point is 00:13:39 Remember when Zah almost puked on the VR roller coaster? That was pretty mean of us because we put a bug on him, too. Zal's already sweating. What are you... Oh, yeah. Jesus Christ, how the fuck are you running? Yeah, that's crazy. I don't understand how he ran either. That's an experienced boozer.
Starting point is 00:14:12 Yeah. So, yeah, we got drum coggles now. Where's, is Stephen Chay, Stephen Chay's just sick? Yeah, really sick, I guess. This is actually good because I was getting sick of him. Now I miss him. You know what I mean? It's a good
Starting point is 00:14:27 So you need a good illness every now and then? Yeah He texted me yesterday He wants Bryce Harper to get hurt He said that? He's like, I hope Bryce Harper gets hurt Oh no, what happened? Oh, because TJ's got the drunk goggles on
Starting point is 00:14:42 Yeah Should we send Mook on an errand with those? Yeah Oh, because TJ's got the drunk goggles on. Yeah. Should we send Mook on an errand with those? Yeah. Pull up a map of Nigeria. Yeah. TJ, please. Please, let's see. don't you be laughing brandon yours would auto fit uh tommy dan you met aaron boone a little not real tell us the story tell us the story i was
Starting point is 00:15:23 going through someone who you obviously given a lot of shit too yeah i was going through security yesterday and i was getting my bag and i looked back and aaron boone was like two people behind me going through security and i'd always like taking my time to get my bag and then he had passed me he did like this loop around to go in the delta sky club and as we were scanning tickets we made brief eye contact and then i was behind him in the escalator and that was it i didn't you go to the delta sky club yeah yeah yeah and he was there he was there he was had a glass of wine a few cookies but i didn't say anything across from him no no no because here's the thing like i don't i hate him and i would not want to go up to him and say hey go yankees like that would feel disingenuous and also i would not go up to him and say hey i hope
Starting point is 00:16:04 you get fired because that's just mean and rude so i figured that's saying nothing that is what you hope yeah i do hope he gets fired but i'm not gonna bother a guy talking about being a player or you could just be like he had a big home run no yeah but there he there was he gave the biggest home run the last he's very online like he follows barstool like he does like there's a there's an off chance that he has seen me trashing him. You were scared of him is what you're saying. No, I was not scared of him. That sounds like you were scared of him.
Starting point is 00:16:28 I was not scared. If we were on a podcast or something, Spider, you know, I would have no problem being in the arena with him and questioning some of his decisions. But doing that, I think, just while he's on his way to a flight, is kind of just dicky. What about poor people's security or you had pre-check? Pre-check.
Starting point is 00:16:43 Why didn't you give him just like a, hey, coach? I didn't want to say that. He doesn't deserve that. Try harder. Is he not going to be fired? He's not going to be fired. How is that possible? I know.
Starting point is 00:16:54 It's insane. You're the biggest social climber on earth, too. That's not true. You're at least top three, and you're working to get to one. I'll try if I could climb high enough. Yeah, I mean, he – but I don't like – I don't want to take a selfie with him. Hey, go Yankees.
Starting point is 00:17:08 Like, I don't know. Why would you change your voice for that? Yeah. Well, that would be the vibe. I mean, you said it like that. That would be the vibe. You just did an impression of yourself? That would be the vibe I gave off.
Starting point is 00:17:18 Hey, coach, we'll get him next year, you know. What are you doing right now with your voice? That's classic. Say it in a normal voice. I want to hear what that sounds like. Hey, your voice? That's classic. Say it in a normal voice. I want to hear what that sounds like. Hey, coach, go Yankees. That's not a normal voice. Hey, coach, go Yanks.
Starting point is 00:17:32 That seems all right. I feel a little bit off. Yeah, you still made it a little bit. Hey, coach, go Yanks. What do I get out of that? If you said that, I don't think it's. You acknowledge that he's the coach of the Yankees, and you would like for them to go.
Starting point is 00:17:43 He just kind of gives you a head nod, and away you go. I didn't see any. Hey, coach. I'm Tommy from Barstool. I fucking love you. I believe in what you're doing. Also, the issue is literally the last tweet I sent about 10 minutes before I saw him was about how I can't believe he's not fired.
Starting point is 00:17:57 I could have said that. You could have left with that. I can't believe you're not fired. You would be comfortable going at him in a podcast. Yeah, I thought I think. What would you do? Let's pretend. I mean, to be honest honest i'd rather have if i got my hands on cashman i think iron boone's a good enough guy
Starting point is 00:18:10 it's not all his fault cashman i'd love to get my hands on so what if he's all cashman and then i might say it's his he's a what are you saying he's the gm he's the gm what do you say to him yeah i might just walk cash cashman's right there oh Oh, shit. KB's Cashman. Okay. Cashman. What? And just keep walking by him. You're going to do a horse? That would destroy him. No, like a.
Starting point is 00:18:31 Try to motorboat him? Walking by him. Wait, but pretend that KB is Cashman. All right. Honestly, I might go up to him and be like, hey, I work for Barstool Sports. We do a Yankee podcast sometimes. Any interest in coming on sometime? Yeah. Why didn't you say that?
Starting point is 00:18:43 He has a deal with like talking Yanks, Aaron Boone. I don't really need to talk to Aaron Boone. I want to talk to Brian Cashman. He's the head of the horse. I'm the head of the most profitable MLB organization in the world. What do you know? What do you know about baseball? I'm coach.
Starting point is 00:18:58 You're coach or you're Cashman? Cashman. You're GM. I would go through a litany of trades at the analytics department. What do you know about baseball? Josh Donaldson. I watch a lot. I watch a lot.
Starting point is 00:19:08 We saw you on Vib's video trying to throw a strike. That was a strike. The point was to throw a strike. I know my lineup. It looks like you don't know ball. No, I let up because I didn't want to take Vib's head off. Why would we trust a guy who doesn't know how to throw? Noner, as they say.
Starting point is 00:19:25 The GM being named Cashman is pretty cool. I think that's actually what has kept him hired. I'm the Cashman. He's been around 40 years. I just think he's family. That's the issue. That's a problem. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:36 When you're here, you're family. Well, he has been around 40 years. He's won a lot of World Series then. But no, he wasn't the GM. He was like an intern when they were winning Worlds. I don't think he was an intern in 2009. In 2009, he was the GM. He's won one World Series in. But no, he wasn't the GM. He was like an intern when they were winning Worlds. I don't think he was an intern in 2009. In 2009, he was the GM. He's won one World Series in 23 years.
Starting point is 00:19:50 White Sox Dave hates the White Sox so much he refuses to say the name. When are you going to get to that point? With the Yankees? Yeah. Because they all know you as Yankees Tommy. We'll see how the offseason goes. We'll see how the offseason goes. Hopefully they get Juan Soto.
Starting point is 00:20:03 What's unacceptable to not be playing October baseball? No, know no the marlins are playing today listen nobody's been nobody has been harder on this franchise than me well somebody actually that's not true because you just let cash from go to the delta sky lounge and have a beautiful time boone i mean yeah is he a drunk he was having a glass of wine people you know it's time is that your official statement was it red or white? Red. And he spilled it on him. If it were me, if I were you, I would have spilled it on him.
Starting point is 00:20:31 What time of day was it? What time of day was it? Was the sun out? It was like 6.30, 7 p.m. At p.m. last night? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two glasses, one? For a glass of wine. I saw one by the time I went back home.
Starting point is 00:20:41 That's baseball. Do baseball coaches get wasted? Oh, yeah. Probably. I coaches get wasted? Oh, yeah. Probably. I mean, some. Oh, yeah. Tony La Russa probably. During the game.
Starting point is 00:20:48 Yeah. There's some stories that on getaway days, guys would get thrown out on purpose so they could go fishing and drink beers if they had a day game. Really? That's definitely out there. I've definitely heard of it. Go fishing? What sport boozes the most?
Starting point is 00:21:02 Hockey. Hockey? Hockey is very athletic. Baseball. You can still have a good game. You can beat David Wells. But no, hitting off days. Like hockey, you have way more off days than baseball.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Baseball is the least like having to run and shit. But hitting like a fastball or a curveball. If I'm a pitcher, I'm going to be gonna be an alcoholic baseball players in spring training have the best life ever they go like all the starters they play like two innings and they get a golf cart back and then they leave and play golf it's awesome yeah that's a relief pitcher would be dope a relief pitcher would be the best i i think we had someone did a hypothetical like if you could pick any position pro sports to play for what would you do and i said a relief pitcher for the san diego padres that would be the greatest thing ever no stress no media you want to be josh hater
Starting point is 00:21:54 but no i don't i want to be a middle reliever oh yeah an indian's eater yeah yeah right like for era yeah you're just living in san diego You know that there's, like, the media's not going to get up your ass. You get to travel around all summer long. You live in San Diego. That would be the dream. I don't think any other position would be better. Arizona's good, too. We had some of the relievers in the office a couple weeks ago.
Starting point is 00:22:16 Too hot. Chill as fucking as can be. Too hot in the summer. Yeah. I don't think you can try to top that. I don't know what would be the top. Reliever San Diego? Like, I wouldn't want to be a QB.
Starting point is 00:22:27 No. Back up QB. You always say back up. But then you're nervous you'll have to get in. Yeah, back up QB would just kind of suck. But then it's not your fault if you lose. True. I think being a good sixth man in basketball would be sweet, like for Miami,
Starting point is 00:22:38 because when you get in, you get to take all the shots, but you get none of the pressure of the starters, and you get to live a sweet life, and you get summers off if you're a basketball player. That's the problem with baseball. You get summers off. The best time of year, you're busy. You can go live somewhere where no one else is getting to experience something.
Starting point is 00:22:53 But for baseball, you get football season off. Most have of it. If your team stays. I mean, most of the Yankees all have football season off right now. Like basketball, football starts, and then you've got to start playing basketball right away. I play baseball. I love football so much that I play baseball so I can watch football.
Starting point is 00:23:11 Exactly. I was a great football player growing up, but then I had to pivot to baseball. Out of my level of football. The only thing that would be better is being a golfer, but being on the PGA Tour would also be a lot. Actually, being a reliever, I think it would get too boring. No way. I bet you have great camaraderie out there, though. There's a reliever, I think it would get too boring. No way.
Starting point is 00:23:25 I bet you have great camaraderie out there, though. There's a lot of games. You're a competitor. There's a lot of games. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You've got to go to so many games. I'm agreeing with you. There's not much job to do in a reliever's league.
Starting point is 00:23:35 You can be great this year and just cut next year. Also, like when you pitch, like if you pitch a couple innings and the coach the next day is like, we're not using you, you could sit in the big dugout and hang out. Do pranks. You get a cool walkout song when you run out. Yeah. Do a little hot foot with the bells.
Starting point is 00:23:50 I think if you're an elite athlete at that level, your competitive drive would just kill you to have to sit so much. I think living in San Diego during the summer and not being able to enjoy San Diego because you're busy all the time, every single day that you're playing a game, that would be torture. But you aren't. You'd be driving past the –
Starting point is 00:24:08 But in January, you're still in San Diego. But your games also are like 7 o'clock at night. You have all day. And people are at the beach year-round. Yeah, but what are you going to do during the day if you have a game at night? Hang out, play golf. Are you hitting the beach? Are you hitting the beach?
Starting point is 00:24:19 I think you're hitting the beach. I don't think you're hitting the beach. That's what I mean. I'm driving to the ballpark and seeing everyone surfing. They don't hit the beach like we hit the beach. And people that live at the beach don't go to're hitting the beach. That's what I mean. I've been driving to the ballpark and seen everyone surfing. They don't hit the beach like we hit the beach. People that live at the beach don't go to the beach. Right. Titus, how about you?
Starting point is 00:24:29 That's why I live at the beach. I would go to the beach when I lived at the beach. Some people do. Yeah. People like Titus. It depends on the person. Yeah. Either you do or you don't, really.
Starting point is 00:24:39 But would you go in the ocean or just eat? I would go in the ocean, yeah. I would body surf. Yeah. I tried to body surf. Yeah. I tried to real surf. It wasn't for me. Who wrote the blog about Marlins man on the website? Calling him a fraud.
Starting point is 00:24:52 He's very upset at me right now. He did go to the Marlins playing yesterday. He went to a Brewers game. Now you sound like you're anti-Marlins man. I'm anti what he did? He wants on the show. He wants on PMT, right? Yes, he did.
Starting point is 00:25:05 Jordy, oh, that's tough. Marlins man's biggest fraud in sports after not showing up for Marlins playoff game in Philly. Well, COVID-19 is over. Wow, it's officially over? That's his first mistake. He believed in that shit? Wait, is this like his first game since COVID? No.
Starting point is 00:25:24 Marlins man just texted me. He said, let's see. Wait, was Marlinsman saying he thought the Marlins were going to be in? Milwaukee, yeah. Yeah. He said, I went on the show to defend myself. I've gotten over 500 messages after Barstool dropped an article calling me a fraud and coward. After I defended them and stuck up for Barstool when in 2016 and 2017 they always talked about Hample, Gorilla,
Starting point is 00:25:46 Suck My Dick, and were known as white alcoholic boys racist degrading women and I said no, they are good, not like that. And I proved it by associating publicly with Barstool. He did kind of say Barstool during that time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:01 What a line. They always talked about Hample gorilla suck my dick we need to make it a shirt what a line hample gorilla suck my dick you know that was didn't you had him and marlins's man on at the same time to debate right yes they had a huge they had a huge all time there was a baseball game being played at a uh army base yeah and it was only for veterans and hample got no maybe marlin's man got no i think zach hample zach hample got tickets on the side of the man was like everyone's like marlin's man why aren't you there and he's like i would never take a ticket from a veteran unlike that scumbag zach
Starting point is 00:26:48 hample great great meeting of the minds it was right around when harambe died yeah no it was gorillas suck my dick ham you remember the day do you remember the day during covid when we were gonna do the yak and uh hample walked was just walking past the office yeah yeah and then was like oh yeah come up yeah he was he knew someone in that building he weighs like 112 pounds soaking wet too yeah well he's also the goat so let's just saying why are you why are you shaming his weight maybe don't wear tank top i can see your ribs like did wrestle 112 have a sandwich what was your record in high school middle of j July. Why are you skinny shaming? I would like to see you try to catch as many home run balls as he's caught.
Starting point is 00:27:31 It would be tough. Yeah. He's the GOAT. He's got it down to his science. He's got the perfect body type for it. Yeah. He can get in and out of places pretty quickly. I know how to say that thing in Japanese because of Zach Hample.
Starting point is 00:27:44 What? The Japanese thing that I say. Oh, you weren't here on Otani Day. Oh, yeah. What was it? Choto, broto, nagate, kurusei. What is that? Can I have a ball, please?
Starting point is 00:27:54 He did a YouTube tutorial? He's got it in like 15 languages. You definitely are a YouTube Zach Hample guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I brought gloves to games until college. I love that. I was trying to get balls.
Starting point is 00:28:05 I get there early, and I go to the outfield and try and snag balls. Did you get them? Game 4, 2017 ALCS. You got one? Yeah. From who? Evan Gattis. I was in the bleachers.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Everybody else was up front. I went up high and just yelled at Evan Gattis until he threw a ball. Love that. How many balls do you have? Not 1,000, but like 15 probably. That's pretty good. Yeah. Do any of you guys have memorabilia, like a room for memorabilia?
Starting point is 00:28:30 I do. I have a Sandy Kofax ball. What's your best piece? Who gave me? I have a Cody Reese shelf in my apartment. I have a baseball stuff in my basement. I got a signed Robbie Bosco jersey through a friend, 1984 Heisman Trophy winner.
Starting point is 00:28:46 So it says Bosco 6 from BYU. He did not win the Heisman. Frank would know. He didn't? They were national champion. No, Doug Flutie won the Heisman. 84? Robbie Bosco never won the Heisman Trophy. I thought they went undefeated. The team
Starting point is 00:29:02 did, but he did not win the Heisman Trophy. So it was the national champion. There you go. That's better. Right. I should have asked the dozen champion before I said it. You're right. Me?
Starting point is 00:29:10 Yeah. I won once. I got fucked up. National champion, 84. What are you? Here's the dozen champion, too. I went to trivia night with your producer? Cody? Oh, Cody.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Cody. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you're friends with him. He tweeted. He called his shot. He's like, I'm going to go back to my roots and get first place today. We're assembling an Avengers squad. We got second to last.
Starting point is 00:29:36 Oh, my God. He was dog shit. Did he get anything right? Our whole team was dog shit. Who's your team? Him and Rudy? I mean, we were like me, my girlfriend, his girlfriend Rudy. Cody just asked. We did it last week, too.
Starting point is 00:29:50 He says he's big into trivia. He used to win all the time. Last week, 14th out of 18. And that was only because of geography bonus round. This week, 5th out of 8. And that was only because of a geography bonus round. We were amongst the worst. So, wait, his Avengers is
Starting point is 00:30:06 It was hard trivia. It wasn't sports centric. And he didn't invite me? It was just like two grueling hours of not knowing. I was the host. Trivia hosts can just like at the bars. It was hard. Sounds like a miserable time. I was in hell.
Starting point is 00:30:22 That's hell. And then a photographer comes up and she was like, do you want a picture? I was like, yeah, I guess. Is it for your Facebook page in my head? Took a bunch. Comes back with six framed photos. And then she gets out her little credit card charger. So I scammed into that.
Starting point is 00:30:39 $20 a piece. How many did you end up buying? All of them. I have six framed photos of our horrible dog shit trivia team. Are they all the same photo? What's the difference in the six? Me and my girlfriend in one. I have him and his girlfriend in my apartment.
Starting point is 00:31:02 It was so embarrassing. Not embarrassing. It was hard. There's nothing worse Than doing trivia When you just don't Like when we do the dozen And like we stink It's
Starting point is 00:31:10 And like part of It's not It's like the least fun Thing you can do You can't even get In the neighborhood Right And figure out
Starting point is 00:31:16 What the answers are Like it's You just feel like Such an idiot You can't even venture I can't even venture A guess Yeah
Starting point is 00:31:20 We've ever played here In one of them Yeah Yeah Exactly I worked at a bar That did a round once. It was like the interactive thing where he plays the music
Starting point is 00:31:28 in between the DJ. They did My Little Pony or Pornstar. And they would read out the name. So it's like Misty Red. And you're like, I don't know. It was interactive. It was good. And a lot of them you can't tell.
Starting point is 00:31:43 The callers, we did a game P Porn Star are Kentucky Derby winners. And then we would just give them Porn Stars, and they would be like, Porn Star. I'm like, wow, you really know your porn. Pokemon or prescription drug is a popular one as well. What is it? Pokemon or prescription drug. Oh, I like that. That's good.
Starting point is 00:32:01 I've seen it at baby showers. They do. Is this a porn face or a labor face? Oh, that's good. That's good. I've seen it baby showers. They do. Is this a porn face or a labor face? Oh, that's good. I never thought about that. They do that with women's tennis, too. Yeah. The audio.
Starting point is 00:32:14 Oh, yeah. Jake Marsh is a moaner. Oh, with that? He plays tennis. Does he moan? Oh, yeah. Big time. He's in a tennis league, which he might be in.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Whenever he gets to the championship i think we're gonna have to do a flash mob to like get another guy's head show up he plays like competitively plays competitive i would like to watch him big time oh i've just been notified by the league commissioner that i've been promoted to elite 3.75 division wow and just like that i go from one of the favorites to an underdog for the playoffs in the Olympics. Oh, that's today. Or yesterday. Oh.
Starting point is 00:32:53 Oh. Do we have him hitting a ball? Do we have that moment? Him and ask him. Really go back and forth. I don't know if we have him playing. We played tennis last summer. I think he was moaning. Does he moan in pickleball too? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:08 He moans in everything. He'll give you a moan. If you're a moaner, you're a moaner. Yeah. He makes a lot of moans. He'll moan when he's sitting down. Turning the steering wheel in his car. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:22 Mr. Positions. Like a fat guy getting out of a recliner. Don't joke about that. It's harder than you think. It's harder than you think. When you get that nice, comfortable seat. Yeah, it's also more old than fat. Yeah, Brandon, you're not getting out of recliners well these days.
Starting point is 00:33:37 Right, correct. I don't get out of this chair very well. How's the anxiety today? Good, I'm fine. I feel good. Happy to be here. You want to spin the wheel? There's no way it lands on it again.
Starting point is 00:33:49 No, there's no chance it lands on it. We'll do the wheel at the appointed wheel time like we always do. We thinking Carbone next week? Carbone? Oh, yeah, we could. Well, I owe it to everyone here, though. Yeah, Rico. Oh, you're not going?
Starting point is 00:34:04 No. We also can't leave. Well, I owe it to everyone here, though. Yeah, Rico. Oh, you're not going? No. Surviving Barstool. We also can't leave the office. I forgot you weren't doing the... Yeah, we can't leave the office. Well, I meant... Yeah, Dukes is going to do Healthy Debate. We decided on Pickham today.
Starting point is 00:34:14 Dukes is going to do Healthy Debate for the whole week. Oh, nice. Because we're trying not to do live shows because there will be clear spoilers on, like, wow, he took a shower today or whatever. Are you concerned about that, Rico? No. We'll be all right. Live spoilers? Live spoilers, no.
Starting point is 00:34:28 Oh. I did get an invite to do Taylor Watch with Gia and Kelly. I thought you weren't allowed. No, they rescinded. They said they'd love to have a conversation. Are you prepared? I might be more than prepared. I have some damning, damning evidence.
Starting point is 00:34:43 Of who? Of Kelly Keyes and the way she talks about travis kelsey's penis seems like we're being a little hypocritical right a little hypocritical around here what was the phrase she used like dick dick down or something no no i was like hip dignitized something like that i want us we'll know where the kelsey hive is i did have one moment yesterday where i was like what if kelsey does his podcast and it's like i saw what big cat said it's so fucked up like my life would be over yeah then you're in it from all angles yeah then i'd be so fucked but what if he said big cat's right here's a video of us fucking then i would yeah that'd be so fucked. What if he said Big Cat's right, here's a video of us fucking?
Starting point is 00:35:26 Then I would, yeah. That would be awesome. You win. Oh, my God. I would just be demanding apology from everyone online. My favorite of the guys who I had one last night who calls Barstool Barfstool. That's always good. That's always a really good one.
Starting point is 00:35:42 It's that and the asterisk. The asterisk is still the funniest thing ever. Was it Wide Cat? Wide Cat. Wide Dog. Oh, Wide Dog. That's a good one. You should resign.
Starting point is 00:35:52 What did they call you yesterday that we were scrolling through? Blob? Yes. Perverted Podcast Blob? No. Yeah. Perverted Podcast Blob. The, what was it? I heard a podcast blogger. The Daily News, I think, had a hilarious headline that I might get framed.
Starting point is 00:36:11 What was it? Oh, yeah, here it is. Taylor Swift fan slams disgusting Barstool sports host Dan Kass after he demanded to see a sex tape of singer and Travis Kelsey before he believes romance is real. This man has a daughter. Good times. romance is real this man has a daughter oh good times uh nicky you want to do the high noon ad yes i do yeah yes i do do it it's time to load up on the ice and break out the oversized lawn games because the high noon game day pack is back it includes limited edition fan faves pear and cranberry along with black cherry and grapefruit.
Starting point is 00:36:48 Made with real vodka, real juice, 100 calories, gluten-free, no added sugar. Tommy, what's your favorite flavor? I love pineapple and watermelon. But what about in the game day pack? Black cherry. Black cherry? Thank you. It does not get enough respect. Grapefruit doesn't either. It tastes like
Starting point is 00:37:03 a fresca. High Noon game day pack is back. It's fall exclusive doesn't either. It tastes like a fresca. High Noon Game Day pack is back. It's fall exclusive, which means it's here for a good time, not a long time. Visit highnoonspirits.com before your next tailgate to find a pack near you. Highnoonspirits.com. Get yourself a pack, please. That was that. That was that, boys.
Starting point is 00:37:28 What else you got? What is Steven's got going on in his brain right now tire swings we're on there what is the best type of swing to have in your yard regular swing set tire swing big flat circle lay down swing hammock where's a porch swing is a hammock a swing yeah yeah i think hammocks a swing not if you do it are overrated. I think hammocks are a swing. Hammocks are a swing. Not if you do it right. Wait, Alex Bennett went on Kirk's show? Yeah. Yesterday? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:50 I gotta listen. I listened to the first part of the show. What did she say? I don't know. That Olive Garden picture. Can you just put it up again? It makes me laugh every time. They said that she's in the business of selling.
Starting point is 00:38:00 He's like, you're going to explain why you left? And she's like, yeah, I'm in the business of selling tickets. So go to the live shows.'re just kind of nothing seems like a like a slow reveal well i think what they're trying to do it is when you hear your family i think thursday is what is what is this this is their picture oh they're it was taken on like the street at dumbo but then they put an olive garden behind him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a bitch. Is that the American Girl font? Oh, that might be.
Starting point is 00:38:29 Yeah. Well, of course it is, if that's what he asked. I mean, they're smart to... It has to be. They're smart to hold it back. I think Thursday is the day that Alex is talking about her relationship, right? Yeah. With Graham.
Starting point is 00:38:41 I mean... How do we know that? They posted, like, what each day they were teasing, which is smart. They should do that. Like if they want. Yeah, look. Why we left Arsenal night one. Jordan's relationship status night two.
Starting point is 00:38:55 What's next for us night three. Four nights of live shows? Four nights of live shows. Feels like three and four should be flipped. Are they posting these on? No. Wait, where is the show? Do you have to be there to
Starting point is 00:39:05 get the deets tommy we're gonna need you there all four night wait they're not posting these on podcast feeds i don't know and send them to buy all four yeah they're like gonna cut it down into their first episode or something i don't know i don't think so how have they not that's i think it'd be crazy if they did we gotta send somebody a report Clemmer. This seems like a Clemmer. He can blend in. He blends. Clemmer should go. He looks like every mean girl. Weird disguise.
Starting point is 00:39:28 Yeah. That would be great. Are they all four shows in New York City? I think so. Yeah. They're four sequential nights, I think. Yeah. They're like Billy Joel.
Starting point is 00:39:38 So they're a series. Like if you go to two, you have to go to three and four. You have to. You can't not go to four. Four is the juice. And you can't go to three without having gone to have to. You can't not go to four. Four is the juice. And you can't go to three without having gone to one or two. You'll be confused. Right.
Starting point is 00:39:49 You lost the plot. Oh, side note, like connecting the dots and everything, our sexy stories are due tomorrow, right? Yeah. I thought they were due Friday. Oh, Friday. Just a reminder to everyone to get those out. I'm just getting.
Starting point is 00:40:01 I'm not going to be here Friday. Do you want to do it Monday? Yeah. Well, we have to have them submitted by Monday. not going to be here Friday Do you want to do it Monday? Yeah We have to have them submitted They have to be done Friday They have to be submitted So can we just do it tomorrow? So we're not actually reading
Starting point is 00:40:11 We want to do mine and I'll do yours We're not reading them on the show No, no It's an excerpt, a teaser Do you want me to write yours? You write mine That way it feels like we're not doing it It would feel like that
Starting point is 00:40:21 No, no, no Don't let Dan do yours Do not let Dan do yours Do you have Brandon Walker? I do I'll do yours yours you do mine have you you have the cum flood right i'll let you yeah you can do brandon all right so you got yeti what was the point of the wheel what was the point of everything if he can just respect well no it's so that we don't feel like when you do someone else's homework it's not like you're doing your own homework it feels like less of a chore and you don't care if it's good right the wheel didn't assign you brandon walker you
Starting point is 00:40:44 just went and got it you traded for it yeah we just made a trade so what do i have come flood brandon walker come flood brandon walker camara okay i have uh yeti monster titties i can okay 18 year old virgin i've uh i've incorporated joi into mine so it's helping you jerk off as you okay nice nice nice all right yeah i can get into the mind of brandon walker so it's helping you jerk off as you're Okay, nice. Nice. Nice. All right, yeah, I can get into the mind of Brandon Walker. A young pale boy. Oh, I wasn't pale. From the deltas of Mississippi.
Starting point is 00:41:15 First of all, that's bullshit. I'm not from the delta. The delta is two hours west of where I'm from. You're from the suburb? I'm from the Golden Triangle, so. From the deltas of Mississippi. She had a golden triangle. I'm not even anywhere near the delta. What's the Golden Triangle. From the deltas of Mississippi. She had a golden triangle. I'm not even anywhere near the delta. What's the Golden Triangle?
Starting point is 00:41:30 Columbus-Starville-West Point. Is that where the soil's real fertile? Wait, there's no way that it's – no one from anywhere but West Point calls it the Golden Triangle. It's called the Golden Triangle. You put yourself in the Golden Triangle? What's the airport that you fly into? The Golden Triangle Regional Airport. Is that that true it's called the golden triangle that is
Starting point is 00:41:47 okay all right i stand corrected wait what's columbia west point there's west point all right golden triangle yeah it's the golden triangle say that county name clay yeah they call that equilateral triangle oct Octibihaw and Lowndes. Brandon, we had D'Amico Ryans on the show today on PM. He's awesome. I am so happy. Oh, my God. I'm obsessed with D'Amico. He's incredible.
Starting point is 00:42:12 He's the hottest guy in the world. That's good. I used to just watch 49ers games last year to see him because anytime they showed a glimpse of him, I fucking squealed. Can we pull this guy up? Yeah. He's like if Idris Elba was hotter. His skin is perfect. Yeah, and his body. Nice body. Did you say if Idris Elba was hotter? He's like if Idris Elba was hotter. His skin is perfect. Yeah, and his body.
Starting point is 00:42:25 Nice body. Did you say if Idris Elba was hotter? He's a hotter Idris Elba. God damn. Wow. Yeah, in my mind. I asked him, though, because he went to Alabama, but the other school he was thinking about was Mississippi State.
Starting point is 00:42:37 I was like, were you ever actually thinking about Mississippi State? He's like, not when Alabama offered us. I mean, okay. There's a lot of guys like that that we were about to sign, and then Alabama said, hey, come over here. I mean, okay. There's a lot of guys like that that we were about to sign and then Alabama said, hey, come over here. I made it clear. I was like, can you just tell us, like, were you thinking Mississippi State? He's like, no.
Starting point is 00:42:52 Was he a five-star? There's no way he was thinking about us. I don't even remember him. He said he got offered to you guys first, and then he went to Alabama and he canceled the visit with you. If Tommy Walker got offered Alabama and Mississippi State, what are you doing? He's going to Mississippi State.
Starting point is 00:43:05 What if there's a chance? Can't make his own decision? Can't make his own decision? Well, I mean. Do you want to win titles? He's going to be raised to make the right decisions. Does he want to be a first-round pick in the NFL? Our last 10 years are littered with first-round picks.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Have you heard of Chris Jones? Litter? Letcher Cox? You just refer to your team as a litter? Jeffrey Simmons? We had a first rounder last year. I don't remember his name. Emmanuel Forbes. So you're forcing him to do it? Yes. What if he doesn't want your life?
Starting point is 00:43:34 What if Ben Mintz adopts him and makes him go to Ole Miss? Oh, like the blind side. I don't want to overreact, but I'm killing every motherfucker. I'm killing you. I'm killing you. I'm killing every motherfucker in this room. Tommy. I'm killing you. I'm killing you. I'm killing every motherfucker in this room. Tommy Walker finally finds a real dad in Ben Mintz. What a story.
Starting point is 00:43:52 All the Brandon Walker jokes are fun. We're going to go ahead and stop that one. Stop that one right there. Ben Mintz being your son's new better father. Oh, he takes Ole Miss to back-to-back national titles. You'd have to be proud of your boy. Yeah. No, it is funny.
Starting point is 00:44:14 I will burn this goddamn building. What's up, Dad? Unless, like, katana slicing becomes a major sport, I don't think you have to worry. Oh, man, that would be sick to get a scholarship for that. Yeah. We got a bunch of fruit here at Mississippi State. We need to cut up.
Starting point is 00:44:31 No way to do it. Tommy put Fruit Ninja on my phone. Have you been playing? Yeah, I'm not very good at it. How? You're just going to slide your finger. Really? I keep missing fruit. Yeah, but then they do weird shit at you.
Starting point is 00:44:40 It gets harder late. It's easy early. What was his – or what are the topics you got for tommy's thursday thoughts oh it was tommy tommy walker day uh tommy walkerman it was about travis kelsey and taylor swift today uh-oh be careful yep he was very measured about it he had a very very fair take on it sex tape it was he demanded after he demanded P and V and all that and I was like Tommy whoa if we see it Tommy Walker's over party there's not much to it
Starting point is 00:45:15 just give it to us give us a little bit all right Tommy what do you think about Kansas City Chiefs tight end Trunks Kelsey dating Taylor Swift? It's alright. I don't really think much of it, considering I'm not really a fan of either. But I still, I hope they find, I hope they find the one they most love. Yeah, I agree. But you know some Taylor Swift songs, right? Mm. Okay. Who's your favorite musician?
Starting point is 00:45:43 Uh, probably Bon Jovi. Yeah. Do you know who he's dating? No. Who do you think he should date? I don't know. Me either. Here's the key part.
Starting point is 00:45:56 Well, all right. Any advice to Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey? No. Okay. Listen to how empty that house is. That was it. I have no furniture. My God. I have no furniture my god i have no furniture that was a good aunt dan you should take notes yeah that's how you're supposed to very good job
Starting point is 00:46:11 very measured are we getting an emergency text message people keep tweeting me about yeah yeah i believe 1 20 p.m central time all of your phones will start ringing yeah we're autistic what what's going on they're bringing COVID. Don't want to let everybody know. Now they're testing, like, the emergency alert system on everyone in the world's phone or America's phone or something. See, this is the type of alert system they need for, like, so-and-so team is coming out and they're, like, all black jerseys or, like, a mascot just died. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:43 Or, like, a- Thai football game with 45 seconds yeah yeah like these are the good things yeah steak egg and cheese bagels back at mcdonald's yeah find that out right stand remember they accidentally texted everyone in hawaii that like a nuke was on its way yes yes oh yeah was it a nuke or was it like a tidal wave no it was a nuke someone was in a nuke like a nuclear plant hit a button the wrong way. Turn off your cell phones on October 1st. The EBS is going to test
Starting point is 00:47:10 the system using 5G. This will activate the Marburg virus and people who have been vaccinated and sadly turn some of them into zombies. Oh, we got zombies today. We got zombies today. What? What time is this happening?
Starting point is 00:47:23 I got double community notice. Stephen Che is going to be the We've got zombies today. What? What time is this happening? That's how it starts. I got double community notice. Stephen Che is going to be the zombiest of zombies. Oh, man. So everyone gets a text message? You think that's why he's been sick? Yeah. He's turning into a zombie.
Starting point is 00:47:38 I think it's like the loud, repeating. Like a frequency? I'm excited now. What movie was that? Tommy, you're actually concerned. I am a little bit concerned. Kingsman. I mean, if they're testing this, like, what's next? They're shutting actually concerned. I am a little bit concerned. Kingsman. I mean, if they're testing this, like, what's next?
Starting point is 00:47:47 They're shutting us up. They're warning us for something. No, I think the frequency is going to activate something in the vaccine. Zombies. Remember when the weather bug set off on everyone's phones? I'm going to let Jersey Jerry know about this. He's going to be freaked out. He's going to be fine.
Starting point is 00:48:03 Wait, call him right now and warn him. Okay. And ask him, like. No, but tell him it's something different. Like, if you hear a noise at 120, shit's going to be fine. Wait, call him. Call him right now and warn him. Okay. And ask him, like... No, but tell him it's something different. Like, if you hear a noise at 120, shit's going down. Yeah, just be like, hey, man, like, don't bother coming in today. Like, there's been some threats. Transmit for 30 minutes. What?
Starting point is 00:48:23 What? Huh? 30 minutes. And this is from FEMA. 30 minutes what what five minutes this and this is from fema 30 minutes judge jerry wants to be a pro golfer when he grows up hello hey you're on the act um did you see that we're all getting this text message at 120 from the government what are you talking about is there's a text message going to everyone's phone at 120 from the government. They're saying that it's a virus in it. All right.
Starting point is 00:48:50 So obviously don't click it or respond. I'd turn the phone off. Or do click it and respond. I don't know. No, it's a real disease. I think he thinks it's like a computer virus. Yeah, I don't know. We were just reading something about people turning into zombies.
Starting point is 00:49:05 But that's if they have the vaccination. Yeah, no, I mean, I'm not going to click it. Right. But you're not vaccinated, right? No, Danny, you know that. Yeah, that's true. Well, you voted for Biden, so I get confused. Yeah, don't ever.
Starting point is 00:49:22 Do me a favor. I'll take a bullet for you. I'll do anything for you, the kids, anything. Do not ever say that on the air again. Okay, all right. Well, I just wanted to, the text message, I think it's an alert going to everyone's phone. I didn't want you to freak out.
Starting point is 00:49:42 All right, that's no problem. Hey, last thing, before you hang up, can you have the yak help me and you guys have so many more fans than me can you please tell people to to try to find the firewood guy yes it's not a lot of money it's just the principal right oh yeah so you got scammed for firewood? Yes. Tell me what happened. It does have a lot of followers. Two likes, three followers. I understand you got this guy. I'm going for cherry wood specifically because cherry wood burns really well,
Starting point is 00:50:15 and it has that, like, crackling, like, crackling sound. Yep. So that's the type of wood I wanted. And I was going all through through facebook marketplace trying to get a good deal on wood and cherry wood's pretty expensive for a face cord of it so um i reached out to a couple people some people answered some people didn't and then this one guy reached back out and he was like hey sell me and i'll deliver it i'm like no i'm not gonna sell you and you deliver it i'll give it to you when you get here.
Starting point is 00:50:46 And he's like, okay, no problem. At least can you give a deposit so I can start loading up and come your way? And I was like, okay, no problem. So I sent him a deposit of like 110 bucks, I think. Okay. And then he stopped answering and then he answered a couple hours later
Starting point is 00:51:05 saying he needed the full payment in order to load up. And I'm like, dude, I'm not sending you the full payment. You know what I mean? Like, I need my wood. We already had a deal. And then pretty much gave me this sob story about how his wife won't let him load up the wood until it's fully paid for. Anyway, obviously I got scammed.
Starting point is 00:51:28 Well, no, that's not obvious. Sounds like you have to pay the full amount. That's what I'm afraid of. I see this guy the full amount. How much is the full amount, Jerry? But didn't he say that if you send the full amount, he'll load it up? Yeah. So it seems like he's seems like a fairy just like he's being pretty straightforward
Starting point is 00:51:46 i figured out it was a scam once he brought up the white one let him load the wood and stuff like that well but i'm confused he said i need the full deposit or else i can't load it up and you're like i'm not sending the full deposit sounds like you're scamming him no no dan listen he he was the one who said, give me the full amount. I said, no. And I asked him the question. Can I give you half? That emergency alert.
Starting point is 00:52:15 And then give you half when you get here. He agreed to it. I sent him the Zelle. And then all of a sudden, after I sent him the Zelle, he said, oh, no, miscommunication sorry i thought you were going to send the full amount i'm like no dude we just agreed to it then he started saying disappeared for a couple hours then he came back and he said my wife's not letting me load the wood unless i get the full the full okay okay just disappeared on me and then i
Starting point is 00:52:42 okay you know how much cherry wood costs? Yeah How much was the full deposit? Or how much was the full amount? Uh, $250 Okay, so you didn't even pay half Yeah, so pretty much I gave him a deposit You know what I mean? Yeah But he can't load it because his wife
Starting point is 00:53:00 Okay, alright, we'll put out the word Where does he say he lives? I gave him a portion of it, you know? Yeah. Where does he say he lives? So there's a picture on Facebook. I tried to look up the company, and I can't. There's guys wearing green shirts, and I think it says Premier on the back.
Starting point is 00:53:22 I don't know if that's the company or what. I told him I was a police officer. He's not on this continent. You know what I mean? But nothing's working. Okay. Jerry. We'll do our best, Jerry.
Starting point is 00:53:37 We'll put out the word. Yeah, dude. Please. All right. Okay. All right. We'll see you later. Bye.
Starting point is 00:53:42 Jerry would enough of a scam to run a scam? Jerry being like, I'm actually a cop. They're just in a standoff of scams. This guy probably has a catalog of pictures of different items that could be on sale. Can we check out the page, actually? Yeah, we got to get this. Two likes and three followers. Who are the followers?
Starting point is 00:54:05 Jerry's probably one. We got to get this. Two likes and three followers. Who are the followers? I still feel like if I'm understanding this correctly, Jerry's just got to pay the full amount. Yeah. And then his wife will let him load it up. But he didn't say like six grand. Yeah, but like what? Yeah, I did too, Rico. When he said 250, I was like, wow.
Starting point is 00:54:20 It's the principle. It's the principle. The guy was very clear. His wife won't let him load it up unless Jerry pays the full amount. Women be like that. Seems like if you pay the full amount, the wife is going to give the go-ahead. Right. Seems like you get your cherry wood.
Starting point is 00:54:33 I think competitive scamming should be something. Oh, I love that. I think it's a skill. It's called the U.S. government. How much could you scam people out of giving it? That's a good attention to detail. 5.6? He has a meter it that's a good attention to detail 5.6 he has a meter good yeah that's damn good you just reverse image search the profile picture and it's the first result
Starting point is 00:54:51 if you google firewood oh yeah can we reverse and roach it'd be great if this guy had just like all five star reviews there's the shirt that's firewood guy in the world yeah like the four star review is just like wife is a nag premier what does that say you're fired they really loaded that truck well yeah but see look in the chicago area i don't think any wife would let him load that truck without the money these guys are good wait i think it's legit competitive scam i want to go and say i bet that truck's always loaded but why additive scamming would be such a great reality show what What would you do? I mean, no one scams better than degenerate gamblers. Those guys just scam
Starting point is 00:55:29 left and right. People need drugs. Yeah. A coin where you could kiss us if you ever fucking see us. Sell them across the country. Oh, I saw a guy when we were in Lincoln who was like,
Starting point is 00:55:44 I have a coin and my heart dropped. I was like, I have a coin, and my heart dropped. I was like, God damn it. Your heart fluttered, you mean. Yeah, because you were so excited to kiss him. New coin coming soon, by the way. Oh, yeah, we got a new one coming soon. Black Friday weekend, new coin. I'm afraid of this one because it's too practical.
Starting point is 00:56:00 Like, it's good to carry around. Is this the fuck coin? Yeah. Well, no, the fuck coin weighs 563 pounds, apparently. I wanted 600, but they couldn't. What if Taylor Swift gave one to Travis Kelsey? Now he has to. Now he's locked in.
Starting point is 00:56:14 All right, so we have 20 minutes until our phones go off. I'm excited. All of our phones are going to go off at the same time? Yeah. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I don't know if that affects this. Yeah, I do too too what'd you say i
Starting point is 00:56:27 have you can turn the emergency alerts off i want to turn them on i did a tick talk of me shirtless and like pedophile glasses like giving a tutorial about how to turn amber alerts off but i never put Oh, man. Pretty easy to do. You okay, Bosco? Yeah. Sure? TV's didn't work on the plane today. Oh, that's brutal. That is brutal.
Starting point is 00:56:55 I said something about the weather. I'm like, what's going on? I said, the weather. I was like, all right. That's a bullshit. The weather wouldn't affect the TV's. They always. They said, we're trying to reset it. Then I did watch half of that Jennifer Lawrence movie which one the one silver linings playbook no
Starting point is 00:57:08 hard feelings no hard feelings you get to the full front later I didn't I had it after that's a risky move knowing there's nudity in a movie watching on a plane they got to block that out on the plane I don't know no they let it go really the only warning they give before movies if there's a plane crash in the movie really yeah I didn't know that Delta at least before movies is if there's a plane crash in the movie. Really? Yeah. I didn't know that. Delta at least does. It'd be funny if there was a category on Delta and it's like plane crash.
Starting point is 00:57:30 Yeah. Just a montage. When Tommy and I flew to London, we didn't have Wi-Fi or screens. Really? It was freeing, really. It was horrible. That's insane. No Wi-Fi to London?
Starting point is 00:57:40 No Wi-Fi to London. They told us when we took off, they're like, yeah, it's not working today. What time did you guys take off? Midday. That would be so nerve-wracking. I would take it. It's nerve-wracking. Has Justine landed yet?
Starting point is 00:57:52 Yeah, but that's why I didn't tweet anything before, you know. That was really crazy. African kids. That whole story. What was that? It was the woman who was going to South Africa. Justine Sacco, right? Yeah, and she tweeted a joke.
Starting point is 00:58:06 Yeah. And she got on the plane, and her joke went viral, and everyone was canceling her. And then it became like a thing where everyone was waiting for her flight to land. It was so brutal. It was like on my way to Africa. On my way to AIDS. And she died? I'm kidding.
Starting point is 00:58:24 I'm just kidding. I'm white. I don't remember the last part. I forgot about that. What a finisher. But it also was like the worst. What year was this? This was 2013.
Starting point is 00:58:33 13. Yeah, no, it was like the worst of Twitter because it was essentially the entire internet was like we're canceling this person. Look at this. Wait. Media won't show you that. What the hell are you doing justine is fired wow but yeah so she like could you imagine the dread of getting off the plane and your phone you turn on your phone for the first time but she didn't probably didn't have
Starting point is 00:58:58 the effect uh anticipate that type of reaction you know no definitely not the internet just decided to just like pile on her you think it's bad i mean it was yeah they wrote a book about it like it is kind of like it's basically it was cancellation everyone canceled her for a cancelable offense i guess i wonder how she's doing i think she's doing but i think there's like a redemption arc there was her only fans and people were like we fucked up, we shouldn't have been that. Have her run. Three people I know that have AIDS, like celebrities are white.
Starting point is 00:59:31 Who? Mercury and Charlie Sheen. Mercury white? Zanzibar. Pull it back up. She made the long journey from New York to South Africa to visit family during the holidays in 2013. Justine Sacco 30 years old and the senior director of corporate communication. I see.
Starting point is 00:59:47 That's a big job. That's what she was then, right? Oh, she went at the Germans. Oh, she's a good tweeter. Look at this one. Weird. Chili. Cucumber sandwiches.
Starting point is 00:59:54 Bad teeth. Back in London. Yeah, this is her. She's an equal opportunity offender. Yeah. She chuckled to herself as she pressed send on the last one, then wandered around Heathrow's International Terminal for half an hour, sporadically checking her phone. No one replied, which didn't surprise her.
Starting point is 01:00:07 She only had 170 Twitter followers. I think that's what was so notable about it. It wasn't like she's a celebrity or anything. She was just some random lady. Then it went viral. She was completely random. When the plane landed in Cape Town and was taxiing on the runway, she turned on her phone right away.
Starting point is 01:00:21 She got a text from someone she hadn't spoken to since high school. I'm so sorry to see what's happening. Sacco looked at it, baffled. Then another text. You you need to call me immediately it was from her best friend hannah then her phone exploded with more texts and alerts then it rang it was hannah you're the number one worldwide trend on twitter right now that is oh my god that would be you need just i'd be like oh they finally caught on to me i think i would think it was probably a good thing holy shit shit. You need Justine Sacco. You need to hire her to do PR for this Taylor Swift situation. Bring her in.
Starting point is 01:00:49 Could you imagine, though, being on a plane and then landing and being like, oh, the whole world is talking about you? Although, technically, if she didn't get AIDS while in Africa, she was right. That's true, right? What's the same as, like, going out drunk? Wait a minute. Can we read the tweet again? Did Africa care? Probably not
Starting point is 01:01:05 Did she say Hope I don't get AIDS Kidding I mean she She hopes she does get AIDS Yeah I remember the hashtag Just kidding Yeah that's nice
Starting point is 01:01:15 She wanted AIDS She wanted AIDS What did the guy do When he got to the airport? Somebody landed at the airport To like catch her landing Yeah someone went to the airport To try to likearazzi her.
Starting point is 01:01:25 How'd they know where she was going to land? Meek Phil. The whole internet was tracking her flight. Yeah. It was a wild thing. Did she say where she was going? Yeah, she said South Africa. Oh, right.
Starting point is 01:01:35 Going to South Africa. South Africa. Damn. Oh, Zod, do you remember being pissed or whatever? Do you remember that? First time hearing of this shit and nobody That is extraordinarily racist. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:50 Yeah. I'd cancel her. But then, yeah, she had some I think she was in a book about cancellations or something. Her whole story. I remember there was like one of the blogs I think maybe Gawker. Like a whole like we kind of went too hard on this situation.
Starting point is 01:02:11 Pull up her LinkedIn. What you doing now? We don't have to do that. I'll check it out. You're definitely our head of HR. That would be great. You don't have to pull up her LinkedIn. I'm interested now.
Starting point is 01:02:24 Okay. I'm interested now. I need a... Chief Communications Officer and Match Group. She goes by Barstool Kate now. Fitzsimmons? Oh! That means she probably does work. Chief Communications Officer?
Starting point is 01:02:39 We have it right here. What a joke. Wait, she's been incredibly successful. Yeah. FanDuel. WWE. Wait, she's been incredibly successful. Yeah. Good for her. Do I know anybody with her? Maybe.
Starting point is 01:02:53 That looks like before WWE. IAC was where it was. It was at IAC, but then she went right to where? What does IAC do? July 2013. Although she went to January 14th. Big hiatus. What does IAC do? Interactive Account Communication.
Starting point is 01:03:08 FanDuel got her after that. Oh, it looks like there was a three-year gap. Yeah. Two-year. No, half-year gap. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So she's the Director of Corporate Communications in, what was that, July of 2013? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:22 When did the, and then she gets promoted. It was December. And then in July of 2013? Yeah. And then she gets promoted. It was December. And then in July of 2013, she goes from director to senior director. No, that was. She was senior director when it happened. Her tweet was December, January. Oh, it was December. She took eight.
Starting point is 01:03:35 She was already. I got you. That's a good job for her coming off of DL, though. I feel like everyone who's like, oh, no, they've been canceled and their life's ruined. They always end up, like, pretty fine. Yeah. Like, Louis've been canceled and their life's ruined, they always end up pretty fine. Yeah. The triumph of the human spirit is what it is. Hard to keep us down. I thought you
Starting point is 01:03:52 were more like triumph of the will guy. Is that what it's called? Isn't will and human spirit the same thing? No. What's the big Nazi propaganda movie, Triumph of the Will? No. I'm not even aware of that movie's existence. Not even aware that's a thing.
Starting point is 01:04:08 You've watched that movie. Never heard of it. It's your favorite movie. There are some. Let's spin the wheel before this alert. I don't have access to view this profile. You're getting really into it. Yeah, I'm into it.
Starting point is 01:04:22 Bosco sees an opportunity to get her number. She might become a college basketball coach. Who knows? I just need a cause. Oh. This is a terrible wheel. Yeah. And then who's out?
Starting point is 01:04:36 No one's out tomorrow, but Friday. Should we read at least an excerpt of the book tomorrow? We can, yeah. Who's out Friday? I am. KB, Nick. Oh, yeah, Kyle, you. Who's out Friday? I am. KB, Nick. Oh, yeah, Kyle, you're doing a boys trip? To Pittsburgh?
Starting point is 01:04:49 No, they live in Pittsburgh. It's a boys trip. It's a boys trip for you. What's the itinerary? Pittsburgh. Yeah, Mackindale. Nick. Wait, is the big guy going?
Starting point is 01:05:02 No, I don't think so. Oh, the teacher we talked about his penis? Wait, why is the big guy not going? He's just a coach. It's a far trip for him. From Ohio to Pittsburgh? I guess you're right. I didn't know that.
Starting point is 01:05:12 Yeah, you're coming. Fight him in Chicago. I love that big guy. Yeah, he's a man. Is this her? Stop, Rico. Because I know that girl. She's a smoke.
Starting point is 01:05:23 Wait, are you attracted to this woman? No, the friend, the mutual friend. You have a mutual friend? I believe so. Rico's got guys everywhere. 13 minutes. I'm afraid, man. I am too.
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Starting point is 01:06:32 That's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com. Use code YAK. Hit the refresh button with the handyman. I heard that thing works even on the toughest of pubes. Even if you can't see your genitals. Ooh, 20% off.
Starting point is 01:06:47 She's in New York, too, so that's easy access. He's done a rabbit hole. It's getting weird. Easy access, I'm just saying. Easy access for what? What does easy access mean? Talk to her, see where she's at, confront her, make her pay for her sins. What the hell are you talking about?
Starting point is 01:07:05 I'm just interested. Have Tommy Smokes walk up on her and go or whatever it is. Should I risk her out? I could risk her out. It's a mutual friend with me on Facebook but her is a smoke though. What is going on right now?
Starting point is 01:07:20 Tommy, I want you to risk her out. I'll risk her out. Then I'll break her heart. As justice for black people. What a yeah yeah your heart though uh tell me what to give her AIDS I'm gonna get AIDS like I gotta go to Africa cancel Tommy proves that this is like great for upward mobility right yeah Right Quite a story I can't remember what book it was But there was like a cancellation book
Starting point is 01:07:51 You good Brandon? Sure? Huh I kind of want to Can you set some of these How long are you going to be gone? What the hell? Can you set some of these mousetrap key sack
Starting point is 01:08:05 and I want to try to get you have to rip a cipher you have to get a cipher a 5 before you go yeah we've broken on most of them we have we gotta buy just like chucking them across the room and yeah it's shit that's three but this one still works I think set a couple over there Brandon's like one of the better on the table office he's not bad he's a good team player i'm surprised that he's good at it well there it is is that five where'd he go that's three again you're almost there don't duck
Starting point is 01:08:43 there it is there we go there it is there we go there it is did that get your fingertip? yeah that shit hurts that's I set mine at the beginning of the show just to throw at Brandon for no reason,
Starting point is 01:09:07 and I ended up putting my thumbnail directly on it. Karma. These glasses are something else. There's no way. There's no way that works. Let's get them. How do we flatten anything? We'll have him wear the glasses on the way back.
Starting point is 01:09:22 No, I think he's just going to lift up the paper. Did he look at the screen before he peed? He's the glasses on the way back. No, I think he's just going to lift up the paper. Oh, no, he's too... Did he look at the screen before he peed? He's probably watching on the toilet. Yeah. But I'm going to have him wear the glasses and walk. Comment and get Brandon back. Research. You're in a weird spot
Starting point is 01:09:38 right now. I don't like where you're at. I don't... You're in... You're in a bad... If people like that are out there I'd like to keep what you're right I think if people make mistakes in the past shouldn't be forgiven fair enough
Starting point is 01:09:53 I mean it is kind of crazy to be like I want to cancel her I didn't say that I just want to know where she's at why list of people you have a list of like yep where people are example say that i just want to know where she's at why list of people you have a list like you have you keep tabs of where people are friend for example friend for shilla was a long time okay and then this woman john ross ross the big four yes john ross ross and the fouch man fouchy i want to know
Starting point is 01:10:20 where they're at who who do you like the least on that list? Fouchman. The best is – Rico, you said – Brandon, where are these and try to walk back? Where are these and try to walk back? He didn't let me go out. I can still go out. Yeah. She'll probably bump into her. Fouchman locked us in for three years.
Starting point is 01:10:36 Who's your all-time Little League baseball woe? Can be player. The guy running it now, the commissioner. Yeah. Yeah. The guy running it now, the commissioner. You knew it? Good thing you went that way. Why didn't you just walk around? Fran Fraschello was the best Rico, the one that he –
Starting point is 01:11:00 someone wrote a blog or a story that Fran Fraschello – didn't like the truth. He got nailed by the media. No, no, you were the media. No, I read the media story. So Fran Fischillo, after 9-11, said when he was playing Air Force. Said Air Force, he said, yeah. And it's a fake story.
Starting point is 01:11:19 The media was out to get him. Right. He said, hey, Lonnie, that's two. He's like, I don't care about 9-11. That's two, Lonnie. And so Rico read that story in 2003 and then told it to everyone for the next 15 years and then blamed the media when it turned out to be untrue. Right.
Starting point is 01:11:36 And then we hashed it out and apologized. But no one would have known that story if it wasn't for you. Yes, they would have. It was in the big-time papers. People read it. People read the news news i'm really nervous about this alert i'm excited seven minutes it's fat bear week what yeah what's the update so they tried to take it away they tried to take it away from us the parks were shut down and we almost lost it same crop of contenders. But we got, the bracket
Starting point is 01:12:05 came out today. Let's go. Let's see it. Dan, your favorite. I love this. Why? Because I'm fat? No, you don't like these. Okay. So what, why is there not a Bears player on there? This is the same photo from last year. They didn't switch it up.
Starting point is 01:12:24 That's not that fat oh really i'm not impressed i recognize oh that's how fat they yeah that's a good yeah i like progress july september it's pretty good yeah pop all right that's a little guy. Come on. Oh, yeah. This is like before and after pictures. Wait, should we do a full voting tomorrow? This is a whole episode.
Starting point is 01:12:55 Fat Bear Week is a whole thing. I think we need... Oh, my God. This one's already pretty hefty. Oh, this one's named Walker. Oh. It looks like he lost, doy. I'm woke. this one's already pretty hefty oh this one's named walker oh clinton's had the bear killed it's wearing a mask yeah so what was the deal oh this one's gonna be good this is gonna be good wait what yeah he spilled out. Look at that big boy. A seagull? I feel like that bear just hit puberty.
Starting point is 01:13:29 Totally different color. It just finally turned into a man bear. All right. Wait, what's this bear's name? Bear looks like a moose or something. Oh, that's a fat boy. Pretty thick. That bear's got a little hump there.
Starting point is 01:13:43 That's a weak one. That's thick. Okay. No, he's fat boy. Pretty thick. He's got a little hump there. That's a weak one. That's thick. Okay. No, he's fat already. Great build. He came out of the hibernation fat. What? He looks like he's lost weight.
Starting point is 01:13:52 He got a haircut? He got a hair cut? Yeah. Yeah, it looks like he got a buzz. Bears are awesome. Oh, this one's going to be good. God, bears are good. 428.
Starting point is 01:14:02 Have you ever seen one? Not great. It's kind of scary. All ass. There's no seen one? Not great. It's kind of scary. All ass. There's no real good ones this year. What's going on? They're chill animals. Salmon shortage, maybe?
Starting point is 01:14:10 Here we go. Holly. Holly's big fat. Whoa. Holly. Holly. Thank you. Going through a breakup or something.
Starting point is 01:14:19 Holly's a beautiful person. Stu Feiner would have some bad things to say about her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That commercial has been coming on I haven't seen it in so long That's a piss poor bear You can see ribs That wouldn't kill me
Starting point is 01:14:31 Holly looks like the winner right now Yeah, Holly and I think the second bear A big 747 Pretty good You got fat as fuck It'd be funny if there was just we kept on scrolling. It was just me
Starting point is 01:14:47 before and after the football season. Like what the fuck? Oh, that's a good one. He looks so sad. Can we make one of these? Like hates would be crazy. Yeah. Kyle, like when you were a hefty.
Starting point is 01:15:00 You were hefty? I was hefty? No, Kyle was. I was junior. I was chubbyby then i got skinny oh that's pretty good that's cute yeah it's a little cutie looks very soft all right go back to two i want to see yeah the second one between number two that thing's a tank dude oh yeah i think it's good
Starting point is 01:15:25 i think it might be Holly. I think this is a great picture of him. Grazer. Oh, Grazer. No, look at Grazer. Grazer looks like you put him in your back pocket. He might have quadrupled in size. Grazer's enormous.
Starting point is 01:15:40 Problem is, it's rigged. What? So 747, I believe, is the one that's nicknamed Bear Force 1, and people just fall in love with that. Whoever gets the best name wins. I mean, that is Bear Force 1 is a great name. Wait, this is Bear Force 1? I mean, he's a fat bear.
Starting point is 01:15:58 He's a fat bear. But there's some years where. I like that he looks kind of embarrassed. Bear 747 is a large adult with a blocky muzzle and floppy ears. Oh! I didn't get it yet. I didn't get it either. Yay!
Starting point is 01:16:14 I don't have it. I don't have it either. Oh! Where's the alert, though? I'm only getting it. I'm not getting it. How long does it go on? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:16:25 Yeah. That was right. Wow. That was exhilarating. I'm only getting it I'm not getting it how long does it go on I don't know wow that was exhilarating did you feel that go through your brain waves any zombies alright we're all unvaxxed very exciting alright against my better judgment
Starting point is 01:16:44 TJ I'm sending you a picture when i was fat oh what i was fat i'm going to instantly regret this but i'm going to instantly regret oh i can't picture you fat well you're about to you're about to see a huge turnoff for me man you're about to see it yeah i know you're about to see it but this i don't know i don't know if this is good or bad for me what age this was this was this was yeah i'd been out of college a couple years very depressed like rock bottom yeah yeah no you were like after oh my god it looks like a filter i know a lot of dudes that look like that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:27 I think he looks good. Very, very Ohio. How long did it take you to lose that much weight? Like eight months, I'd say. What did you do? Just stop eating? Yeah, just stop being a piece of shit. That's basically how I did it.
Starting point is 01:17:48 Stopping eating. I don't know picture never mentioned on the podcast no or my au team if you want to have me on part of my take I love to talk about that too do you ever miss being like eating whatever you want yes all the time powerful too I'm still a fat man at heart that's what I'm like you can catch me Love to talk about that, too. Do you ever miss eating whatever you want? Yes, all the time. You're probably so powerful, too. I'm still a fat man at heart. You can catch me. Yeah, we go to a certain con. I go get barbecue, especially. It comes out, and I'll house barbecue.
Starting point is 01:18:15 Do you miss your power? Yeah, I do. Yeah, because you looked powerful. You could move a car. I'm a scrawny little bitch now. Yeah. Was your fattest, Brandon, at Barstool like three years ago? I think my fattest is right now.
Starting point is 01:18:28 No. You don't think so? No. My fattest has been at Barstool. I know that. I was always too skinny. I didn't get fat until like the last five years. When have you been too skinny?
Starting point is 01:18:40 High school. I look like a fucking skeleton. Really? You look like a school shooter. I'm a fucking skeleton. I was 6'5". I was this height. I got to see this now. And I like a fucking skeleton. Really? You look like a school shooter. I'm a fucking skeleton. I was 6'5". I was this height. I got to see this now.
Starting point is 01:18:47 And I had a bowl haircut. I got to see these pictures. You have big time Dylan Cleaver vibes. Why are school shooters never fat? There was a four-month gap where I was a decent-looking guy. I went from too skinny to too fat in that four-month gap. Oh! That's like a bad school shooter.
Starting point is 01:19:03 The gun would jam. Look at that. That guy's really good. Look at that The gun would jam. Look at that. That guy's from the episode. Look at that jawline. I've never seen that. Oh, my God. Look at that jawline. You would be scooped to be like a model.
Starting point is 01:19:14 Who do you know in that picture? Who's the guy you knew? The guy with the hat left or right? Yeah, the guy to the left. That's my friend Scott Brentz. This guy? On your phone. The guy with the hat?
Starting point is 01:19:22 We fell off. The guy to my left in the hat. The fat guy. That's Bucky what? No, that's Scott Brentz. That's not Bucky Cox. That's not Bucky Cox. The guy with the hat? We fell off. The guy to my left in the hat. The fat guy. That's Bucky what? No, that's Scott Brentz. That's not Bucky Cox. That's not Bucky Cox. Who is the Vietnamese dude?
Starting point is 01:19:30 No, it's just me and him. We rode together. I had the tickets and he had the car. I love it. This wasn't the window that you said you were good looking. No, this was February 15th, 1999. We went to Monday Night Raw. When was the good looking window?
Starting point is 01:19:44 Between about... I think you're good-looking window? Between about... I think you're good-looking now. Between about January 2005 and September 2005. I met my wife in August 2005. That'll do it. I was about 6'5", 210. I was exactly where I needed to be. When we did our 24-hour fast, like three years ago on the Yak,
Starting point is 01:20:06 I remember you were a bigger we did our 24 hour fast like three years ago on the yak yeah i remember you were a bigger boy was i was that big then i think so yeah i might have peaked out around uh like right after covid maybe i might i might have peaked out about then but i'm like 270 now i did start working out yesterday you did work out yesterday i walked two miles nice that's awesome my steps in that's awesome i'm proud of you. Tommy, were you ever fat? I've been pudgy. Yeah. Like when I, a few months into being full-time at Barstool, definitely a very fat face. Yep.
Starting point is 01:20:32 I moved to New York, started drinking, like going out on the weekends and the food and yeah. Happens. Yeah. In the initial stages of your relationship, were you like a hustle award boyfriend? Yeah. No, I was a lot of, yeah you like a hustle award boyfriend? Yeah. No, I was a lot of flowers. I lived, the flowers by Shirley was across the street from my house, so I just had an
Starting point is 01:20:52 open tab and I would send them every week. Did she make you work? No, she didn't make me work, but I earned it. Good for you. I went out and got it. A lot of dinners. Oh, yeah. Great notes.
Starting point is 01:21:03 Notes, sure. Flowers, yeah. fresh picked flowers you straight you courted this woman i courted her yeah yeah yeah how long until right you cried uh we dated a year and then we got married engaged no no but how long until huh we dated a year and then we got rewarded for the flowers we dated about a year oh it took a year i can say a lot of things on the show i cannot tell you i'm not allowed to tell you when i fuck my wife for the flowers. We dated about a year. I can say a lot of things on this show. I cannot tell you. I'm not allowed to tell you when I fuck my wife for the first time.
Starting point is 01:21:29 You tell us every other time. Correct. That's the one rule you guys had. We'll have to do one of those when they cut open a tree to see how old it is. I'm not supposed to talk about that. See the rings on the dick? I think a bisected dick would be,
Starting point is 01:21:49 that would be phobic. Unless it's D'Amico, right? Carbon dating. We're going to do some carbon dating on Brandon's dick real quick. Oh man. Okay. In a restaurant,
Starting point is 01:22:04 our one year anniversary, just got down on a knee and did it. Did cry yeah yeah did you cry no no i was very nervous i thought she might say no really yeah you didn't talk about it before like you talked about it okay but still i was nervous when that time comes yeah yeah did you ask her dad i did yeah was he enthusiastic or was he like very excited you're like, beat your ass? You're like ringing out your paperboy hat? No, no. I just took her out to a restaurant
Starting point is 01:22:29 and did it on her knee. Nothing exciting. That's exciting. That is exciting. In front of everybody? At the restaurant? At the restaurant, yeah. Did they clap publicly?
Starting point is 01:22:38 They did clap, I think. I don't know. I kind of blacked out there as soon as it happened. Have you been back to the restaurant? It closed shortly thereafter. Oh. It didn't know. I kind of blacked out there as soon as it happened. Have you been back to the restaurant? It closed shortly thereafter. It didn't last very long. It's called IVs. Letter I, letter V. IVs
Starting point is 01:22:53 in Tupelo. It did not last long at all. It was a nice restaurant. I had a good filet that night. Do you guys go back there and say what is it now? It's used as a parking lot for the Mexican restaurant. that night but it did do you guys go back there and say like this is like what is it now you know it's used as a parking lot for the mexican restaurant oh you guys have to go back oh that's
Starting point is 01:23:10 perfect they cleared out the building and it's now your vows in the parking lot very successful mexican restaurant though um what's it called i don't know i i don't want to say because there's like five mexican restaurants in tupelo and i don't know which I don't want to say because there's like five Mexican restaurants in Tupelo, and I don't know which one that is. Only five names that they rotate. Yeah. La Fiesta's in Tupelo. I don't think it's La Fiesta.
Starting point is 01:23:30 It's Mi Toro. It's Mi Toro. Mi Toro. Yeah. Sounds a little Japanese. My bowl. Yeah, Mi Toro. It's pretty good.
Starting point is 01:23:39 Oh, sweet. And she speaks Spanish, so every time we go into that Mexican restaurant, she would talk to the waiter. I was always paranoid that they were talking about me. They weren't. She shouldn't unveil that she knows Spanish. She should. Oh, she gives, yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:53 Well, I make her do it. Well, no, I would want to see if they're talking. She keeps going there just so she can vent. I don't know if they're making plans for later. Like, I don't know how it works. I agree, Nick. You should play that as close to the chest as you can. It would be the coolest thing ever to be like go somewhere
Starting point is 01:24:11 and have people speak English around you not realizing you speak English. So I have asked her. She won't do it. But it would be somewhere and the people next to us are talking Spanish. I said, what are they saying? She said, I'm not going to listen. So she's a good person. You just can't turn't being on an elevator and two people are talking shit about you and then as you're getting off the elevator you turn around and just say something to them oh i speak english
Starting point is 01:24:33 that'd be so cold god that'd be cool that'd be cool i don't think anyone would see anyone on this show and not think that we don't speak english like we wouldn't be able to go we'd stick out like you can't go to France and have people be like, he's French. I could maybe fit in in Israel. Yeah. Very well.
Starting point is 01:24:56 Yeah. Alright, Tommy, should we head out? Sure. Should we get in the yak? I'll do whatever you tell me. We've got a yak tomorrow. The best part about the yak is we have a – Oh, what – are we set for that corn maze?
Starting point is 01:25:15 Oh, the one that Plan B? No, there's someone who reached out to us in – Yeah, it was like two hours away. Yeah, it's in Wisconsin. By your place? If that's fine. Yeah, I think we could do it. We, it's in Wisconsin. By your place? If that's fine. Yeah, I think we could do it. We just gotta figure out which day in October that we go up. We'll do
Starting point is 01:25:30 the Yak from there, and then we'll tape the video. Well, can we do it the day before the Wisconsin game? We could do that. Yeah, why don't we do the 12-hour stream? Do that. Go to Brandon's camp out in the back. It's not that hard. How did that become available? A year and a half ago when we hit 100k on YouTube.
Starting point is 01:25:48 We need to just get people, please subscribe. Everyone's all the rage is subscribing. I feel like we need to do a subathon. TJ basically did a 12 hour stream by himself. Just out of nowhere. Well, you stopped in, right? Have we done that? Subscribe if you're watching right now.
Starting point is 01:26:03 TJ, that 12 hour stream, Titus stopped in, right? He did. Anybody else stopped? Subscribe if you're watching right now. I want to do a V- DJ. That 12-hour stream, Titus stopped in, right? He did. Anybody else? No. Oh. I was not expected to stop in. I just called in.
Starting point is 01:26:13 I wasn't either. I just- Keep the tabs on. I just thought it was the right thing. The guy was suffering, right? I lived two hours away from him. I was left for 11 and a half hours. I was asleep for nine hours.
Starting point is 01:26:22 Well, YouTube is kind of fucky with 12 hour streams. If you stream consecutively for 12 hours, it deletes the VOD instantly once you stop the stream. Oh, so that's why we can't do it. So if you go 11.55, you're fine, but if you go 12, that video has to be pulled. We can't fucking do it. God damn it.
Starting point is 01:26:38 Let's do an 11.55. Did you do 12? No, I just did 11.55. You knew enough? It's crazy. Alright, we'll plan that. I want to do the corn maze. I think it'd be great. Maybe the week after surviving Barstool,
Starting point is 01:26:49 because it's our last week that we're stuck in this place. The tech guys are already putting their arms up about reserving them for anything that week, but... Okay. I will talk to them. So then maybe not. I will tell you. We got to talk to the pharmacy,
Starting point is 01:27:00 what they're available for. Tech guys are... I'm not going to... Yeah, because they're building the office. Yeah, the tech guys are – Oh, that's a good point. Yeah. No, that's a very fair point.
Starting point is 01:27:09 Very fair point. I'll talk to them. Okay. All right. We'll see everyone tomorrow. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. It's the act Get your straws, yeah Style a tape for a while It's the act
Starting point is 01:27:27 It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop We're doing Yankee Swap It's the act It's the act See you tomorrow, bye.

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