The Yak - Big Cat's Latest Impulse Purchase Has Us SPINNING | The Yak 10-4-23
Episode Date: October 4, 2023Fat Bear Week foreverYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up.
Hey.
Someone commented that it made it look like a hostage situation.
Did we clap?
I'm not moving.
When do hostages clap?
I don't know.
Yeah, that's.
I've never seen the hostage clap.
I've never seen.
Yeah, it would look more like a hostage situation if we're getting our heads chopped off.
How many hostages have you seen in general, Brandon?
Yeah, matter of time. Oh, landed on Brandon.
Roback.com, promo code yak.
20% off your first purchase.
Roback.com, promo code yak.
Roback.com, promo code yak.
Q-Zips, polos.
Q-Zips.
Q-Zips.
Why do I hear Brandon's voice?
Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.
Roback.com, promo code yak.
Ow! Fuck me!
Let's go.
We got Stu Finer in the building.
Hey, Stu.
Hey, ready to roll.
No, it's Tommy.
Gotcha.
I guess Tommy ranked your
bustiest co-workers?
Okay.
That was really good.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Hello, everyone.
What's up?
I got to pay for my book.
Hold on.
You guys start.
I just had to join Barstool Radio, so I'm late on my brain.
You guys start yakking.
Ensemble cast today.
It is.
Rat race.
Smokes.
How are you, Smokes?
Good.
How are you guys? Smokes, how do you feel about
Tommy or Nicky smokes
I like him
I haven't known him too much so far
not related by blood
I don't know I don't think so
never mind
what else could you be related by
by in-laws but we're not that either
not that either
I want to do a show with you two and call it Nicky Nicky Smoke Smokes.
That'd be a good show, I think.
Yeah, what would we talk about?
Gambling.
What's been going on in the world of Nicky Nicky Smoke Smokes?
Yeah.
Nicky Nicky Smoke Smokes.
I like that.
Food reviews.
Gambling picks.
So I'm surprised you accepted that offer even though you have last billing.
Because you're an egomaniac. offer the nicki nicki no i'm i'm the first smokes no no that's so it's nicki nicki smokes nicki nicki smoke smokes yeah so it's you and then he's the
only one with both names yeah okay that would be the linking it then you'd be like oh save the best for last ah fuck didn't think of that you got me there kyle where's that back massager it's charging i couldn't figure out how to work
but thank you cliff he saw my back was in pain one day on the yak and sent me a wait did you
just wince or something or is he watching i was in on you oh yeah what kind of back hurting what
kind of massager is it?
It's like a band that you strap around your back.
Oh.
Nice.
Clip D. Martino, one of our biggest fans.
The biggest.
That might be a little too much of a fan, but.
I DM him about Pokemon Go all the time.
Really?
He has every one of our interests.
He's giving me a parking sign like Stephen Che had.
What's yours going to say?
Brandon fucking Walker. No title? Probably not. No. i mean i'm not the vp of football operations nobody is i think he's also a co-worker now i think isn't he like building the new office i don't think
that makes he's setting up i'm not sure that makes him a co-worker contractors yeah contracted
co-worker they're not gonna stay home with us once the building is built i don't know he was
he's been he's been around he was in the ac guy in New York, he feels like he's got a lot of work.
I got a lot of work.
Three days a week.
And the guy with the mohawk.
The one-eyed man with the mohawk.
Mark.
He's a lingerer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sorry about that.
I was five minutes behind doing Barstool Radio.
What's up, everyone?
Hey.
Tommy, Rico.
What's up? You in good mood, Rico mood rico yeah we just taped a gallon pick them i know dave reversed it all on me it was me versus dave
because he's a swifty and uh do you stand with me tommy to the smokes army can i call in the
smokes army uh i'm not sure yet i'd have to i'd have to run the numbers as to who has more
and then i could decide on where the smokes army goes because i don't want the swifties against
me either but i also don't want all your so you're gonna send the smokes army to whichever army has
the most people yes i hope we don't get there i'm a bandwagon it's not to endanger the smokes army
at all right it's like oh we just kind of sit back uh and hopefully the war is over by the time
we're called on the nick heads are armed and dangerous for you whenever.
It's a good name.
All the today's the day.
We're just all the like press writes about it, which is fun.
Wait, you have that.
I saw for stool.
For stool.
We got a shout out.
Yeah.
In the article.
Rolling Stones, New York Post Newsweek reached out.
I hope they run my comment because they asked for comment.
And they were like like they emailed me it
was like can a representative of big cat please release a comment so i just released a comment
in the third person i said dan has a firm set of beliefs that if he doesn't see something with his
own two eyes then it doesn't exist for instance he doesn't believe in dinosaurs the great wall
of china or that the continent of europe exists as he's never seen those things he went to france
once it was pretty chill.
Furthermore, he has since lessened his demands on proof of relationship
from over-the-pants handjob to Taylor and Travis sitting next to each other,
half watching a Netflix show while they scrolled through their phones,
only to tell the other, are you even watching every 15 minutes
until they go turn it off and go to bed?
So hopefully they run that.
That's fair.
I hope they run that because that would just be a great line
right next to Rachel Ziegler
being like,
this guy needs to be in jail.
Oh, yeah, Snow White.
The other New Yorker.
Oh, she's up my ass.
She blocked me.
Have any women
came up to you in person?
No.
Okay.
Turn your phone off.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Here we go.
I mean, I don't even know
if you'll be able to hear
The woman bitch at you
Because they'll have like
Four masks on
Yeah people are going
They're still going hard at me
They're doing weird shit
Threatening me
Threatening my family
Is there any
Has anything changed
Any like variance
In how they diss you
Some are getting pretty graphic
Which is like
I
It's like one guy was like i'm gonna dream of
fucking your daughter tonight she's too dude that's pedophile also like and that's what taylor
swift would have wanted yeah right happy that i did the one guy pointed out which was great because
there's a bunch of threads that i'm just tagged in and one guy was like just so we're clear like
taylor swift has a huge security team not for like Dan, but for people like you who are defending her to the point of bullying people online and saying you want to fuck two year olds.
Is this the first time where like the hit pieces have been mainly all about you?
Van Tok. Van Tok was a big one. I got I got a lot in that one.
Yeah. Because Sam Ponder wrote the article. She tweeted a blog post, and it actually wasn't written by me,
and she attributed it to me, so everyone just ran with that.
So, yeah, it's okay.
I feel good.
I feel strong.
I feel confident.
It's tough when they come at you.
I kind of want to go.
I had the thought last night of, like,
what if I just went to Taylor Swift's next concert in Argentina?
And that would be the place yeah they had the best crowds for concert yeah and they wouldn't care oh shit I forgot I have something for us today oh oh I think I know
oh fuck yeah fuck yeah is it food no three MLB players in the top ten most hits of all time.
Their last name ends in ER.
Oh.
Derek Jeter.
Shit.
Honus Wagner.
There's Jeter.
Yeah, yeah.
Derek Jeter, Honus Wagner.
You would have got the trivia.
Triss Speaker?
Yeah, wow.
Wow.
Good, Tommy.
Thank you.
Good job, Tommy.
Oh, my God. What what are these do they work
are you all the drunk goggles yeah do you do i look fuckable the band around them says totally
wasted you're not even close you're not even close dab me up
hell yeah and they look cool
Alright
We have to do a
Like some sort of
Field test
We have to sprint
Say
Yeah
They're that bad?
You have to set a mousetrap
Dan
Dan catch
We see these bad boys.
Dude, they're so good.
What are you...
That's the totally wasted version?
This is totally wasted.
This is, I think, a BAC of.3.
Hell yeah.
I can't...
So, I...
This might be...
I had to stop myself this morning
because I have them...
You almost drove with them?
Shit.
I was like, what if I just went around the block
they're crazy
are you really drunk?
no it's just drunk or is it just like general dizzy
it's like making it like your vision it's like yeah it's basically like prisms
it's like equated to like prisms
your hands oh hand man that's sick a blackout drunk
that's fucking crazy it's crazy i think maybe some type of mousetrap having to pick up mousetraps
yeah i don't think maybe we have to navigate our hand through a maze. They're pretty sick.
It's like more psychedelic than drunk.
Yeah, it's like very dizzying. Jesus Christ.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Drunk goggles.
I might need to buy a pair for everyone.
Oh, imagine yak basketball with drunk goggles.
Or with box or something.
Dude.
Yeah, we are.
So breaking news, we are playing yak basketball at the barstool
invitation perfect so let's yeah yeah let's each have like some sort of item so maybe these
boxing gloves like we spin a wheel boxing gloves would be so funny yeah yeah flippers on your
back oh man we have to do we'll have to do a dry run when we get to the new office where we'll spin a wheel and play
yak basketball with different, yeah, drunk goggles,
flippers, boxing gloves.
I'm going to fuck the tallest woman
in here. You were completely
sober when you did that, right?
Oh, yeah. Oh, this isn't that bad.
I don't know. What if you walk? You can't get
like hit. Do a quick sprint.
Yeah.
Real quick. Real quick lap sprint around the coffee table. Hit the lap real quick.
Real quick lap.
Around the coffee table.
No, no, quick lap.
Do a lap, Tommy.
Quick lap around the coffee table.
Is it that hard?
Go on a hop.
It's your perception, your depth perception.
Yeah, I'm going to.
Run around the coffee table.
Go.
I can't.
Just go.
Run.
What are you doing?
You're trying to run right?
You think you're running?
What is this, Tommy?
All right, Rico, you do a run around Tommy
catch this mousetrap that on a drop oh that was a great fucking scream who did
who was that I will do the I will do the mouth strap. Run.
He's nice.
You can tell he's experienced. Oh, yeah.
Oh, shit.
Got it.
Oh, shit.
Got it.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
He's good.
He's so close to falling every time.
No, he's got it down. Yeah, he's good. He's so close to falling every time.
No, he's got it down.
Yeah, he's good.
He's having the time of his life.
He really is.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Show me an athlete.
Oh, shut up.
That was a corner in the fucking quad, dude.
He's got to be an athlete. That was a corner in the quad quad, dude. That was a corner in the quad.
That's tough.
A little bit faster than Tommy.
That hurts.
That hurts.
Hey, you're running in circles. That makes sense.
Fast as fuck.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, trunk goggles.
They're in.
Kyle, what do you think?
I think I gotta get a buy.
I gotta think I gotta buy like 10 pairs.
This is like...
I've never gotten drunk and seen like that.
No time trial. We need to be able to compete
all wearing the same thing.
Drunk goggle basketball.
Ooh, backwards goggles that have the mirrors where you can only see behind you.
It would be funny if we played the egg game with drunk goggles.
Oh, we should.
All right, I'm going to have to buy 10 more pairs.
Brandon, you do a lap real quick.
I'd like to see your heart rate.
No, I don't know.
Maneuver.
Thank you.
Oh, put them back on. What, they were fine? Run around. What are you doing,. Thank you. Put them back on.
What, they were fine?
Run around.
What are you doing, Titus?
Just put them back on, Brandon.
What are you doing, Titus?
Go ahead and throw those back on.
See what happens.
Oh, Nick, you look really bad without your hat on.
I think being out in the sunlight, too, would make a difference.
Oh, whoa.
It's like...
Yeah, see?
And you're over.
Zah.
Zah hates this shit.
Zah, give it a shot.
Zah's going to fire off.
Remember when Zah almost puked on the VR roller coaster?
That was pretty mean of us because we put a bug on him, too.
Zal's already sweating.
What are you... Oh, yeah.
Jesus Christ, how the fuck are you running?
Yeah, that's crazy.
I don't understand how he ran either.
That's an experienced boozer.
Yeah.
So, yeah, we got drum coggles now.
Where's, is Stephen Chay, Stephen Chay's just sick?
Yeah, really sick, I guess.
This is actually good because I was getting sick of him.
Now I miss him.
You know what I mean?
It's a good
So you need a good illness every now and then?
Yeah
He texted me yesterday
He wants Bryce Harper to get hurt
He said that?
He's like, I hope Bryce Harper gets hurt
Oh no, what happened?
Oh, because TJ's got the drunk goggles on
Yeah Should we send Mook on an errand with those? Yeah Oh, because TJ's got the drunk goggles on. Yeah.
Should we send Mook on an errand with those?
Yeah.
Pull up a map of Nigeria.
Yeah.
TJ, please.
Please, let's see. don't you be laughing brandon yours would auto fit
uh tommy dan you met aaron boone a little not real tell us the story tell us the story i was
going through someone who you obviously given a lot of shit too yeah i was going through security yesterday and i was getting my
bag and i looked back and aaron boone was like two people behind me going through security
and i'd always like taking my time to get my bag and then he had passed me he did like this loop
around to go in the delta sky club and as we were scanning tickets we made brief eye contact and then
i was behind him in the escalator and that was it i didn't you go to the delta sky club yeah yeah yeah and he was there he was there
he was had a glass of wine a few cookies but i didn't say anything across from him no no no
because here's the thing like i don't i hate him and i would not want to go up to him and say hey
go yankees like that would feel disingenuous and also i would not go up to him and say hey i hope
you get fired because that's just mean and rude so i figured that's saying
nothing that is what you hope yeah i do hope he gets fired but i'm not gonna bother a guy
talking about being a player or you could just be like he had a big home run no yeah but there
he there was he gave the biggest home run the last he's very online like he follows barstool
like he does like there's a there's an off chance that he has seen me trashing him.
You were scared of him is what you're saying.
No, I was not scared of him.
That sounds like you were scared of him.
I was not scared.
If we were on a podcast or something, Spider, you know,
I would have no problem being in the arena with him
and questioning some of his decisions.
But doing that, I think, just while he's on his way to a flight,
is kind of just dicky.
What about poor people's security or you had pre-check?
Pre-check.
Why didn't you give him just like a, hey, coach?
I didn't want to say that.
He doesn't deserve that.
Try harder.
Is he not going to be fired?
He's not going to be fired.
How is that possible?
I know.
It's insane.
You're the biggest social climber on earth, too.
That's not true.
You're at least top three, and you're working to get to one.
I'll try if I could climb high enough.
Yeah, I mean, he – but I don't like –
I don't want to take a selfie with him.
Hey, go Yankees.
Like, I don't know.
Why would you change your voice for that?
Yeah.
Well, that would be the vibe.
I mean, you said it like that.
That would be the vibe.
You just did an impression of yourself?
That would be the vibe I gave off.
Hey, coach, we'll get him next year, you know.
What are you doing right now with your voice?
That's classic.
Say it in a normal voice. I want to hear what that sounds like. Hey, your voice? That's classic. Say it in a normal voice.
I want to hear what that sounds like.
Hey, coach, go Yankees.
That's not a normal voice.
Hey, coach, go Yanks.
That seems all right.
I feel a little bit off.
Yeah, you still made it a little bit.
Hey, coach, go Yanks.
What do I get out of that?
If you said that, I don't think it's.
You acknowledge that he's the coach of the Yankees,
and you would like for them to go.
He just kind of gives you a head nod, and away you go.
I didn't see any.
Hey, coach.
I'm Tommy from Barstool.
I fucking love you.
I believe in what you're doing.
Also, the issue is literally the last tweet I sent about 10 minutes
before I saw him was about how I can't believe he's not fired.
I could have said that.
You could have left with that.
I can't believe you're not fired.
You would be comfortable going at him in a podcast.
Yeah, I thought I think.
What would you do?
Let's pretend.
I mean, to be honest honest i'd rather have if i got my hands on cashman i think iron boone's a good enough guy
it's not all his fault cashman i'd love to get my hands on so what if he's all cashman and then i
might say it's his he's a what are you saying he's the gm he's the gm what do you say to him
yeah i might just walk cash cashman's right there oh Oh, shit. KB's Cashman. Okay. Cashman.
What?
And just keep walking by him.
You're going to do a horse?
That would destroy him.
No, like a.
Try to motorboat him?
Walking by him.
Wait, but pretend that KB is Cashman.
All right.
Honestly, I might go up to him and be like, hey, I work for Barstool Sports.
We do a Yankee podcast sometimes.
Any interest in coming on sometime?
Yeah. Why didn't you say that?
He has a deal with like talking Yanks, Aaron Boone.
I don't really need to talk to Aaron Boone.
I want to talk to Brian Cashman.
He's the head of the horse.
I'm the head of the most profitable MLB organization in the world.
What do you know?
What do you know about baseball?
I'm coach.
You're coach or you're Cashman?
Cashman.
You're GM.
I would go through a litany of trades at the analytics department.
What do you know about baseball?
Josh Donaldson.
I watch a lot.
I watch a lot.
We saw you on Vib's video trying to throw a strike.
That was a strike.
The point was to throw a strike.
I know my lineup.
It looks like you don't know ball.
No, I let up because I didn't want to take Vib's head off.
Why would we trust a guy who doesn't know how to throw?
Noner, as they say.
The GM being named Cashman is pretty cool.
I think that's actually what has kept him hired.
I'm the Cashman.
He's been around 40 years.
I just think he's family.
That's the issue.
That's a problem.
Yeah.
When you're here, you're family.
Well, he has been around 40 years.
He's won a lot of World Series then.
But no, he wasn't the GM.
He was like an intern when they were winning Worlds.
I don't think he was an intern in 2009. In 2009, he was the GM. He's won one World Series in. But no, he wasn't the GM. He was like an intern when they were winning Worlds. I don't think he was an intern in 2009.
In 2009, he was the GM.
He's won one World Series in 23 years.
White Sox Dave hates the White Sox so much he refuses to say the name.
When are you going to get to that point?
With the Yankees?
Yeah.
Because they all know you as Yankees Tommy.
We'll see how the offseason goes.
We'll see how the offseason goes.
Hopefully they get Juan Soto.
What's unacceptable to not be playing October baseball? No, know no the marlins are playing today listen nobody's been
nobody has been harder on this franchise than me well somebody actually that's not true because
you just let cash from go to the delta sky lounge and have a beautiful time boone i mean yeah is he
a drunk he was having a glass of wine people you know it's time is that your official statement
was it red or white?
Red.
And he spilled it on him.
If it were me, if I were you, I would have spilled it on him.
What time of day was it? What time of day was it?
Was the sun out?
It was like 6.30, 7 p.m.
At p.m. last night?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Two glasses, one?
For a glass of wine.
I saw one by the time I went back home.
That's baseball.
Do baseball coaches get wasted?
Oh, yeah. Probably. I coaches get wasted? Oh, yeah.
Probably.
I mean, some.
Oh, yeah.
Tony La Russa probably.
During the game.
Yeah.
There's some stories that on getaway days, guys would get thrown out on purpose so they
could go fishing and drink beers if they had a day game.
Really?
That's definitely out there.
I've definitely heard of it.
Go fishing?
What sport boozes the most?
Hockey.
Hockey?
Hockey is very athletic.
Baseball.
You can still have a good game.
You can beat David Wells.
But no, hitting off days.
Like hockey, you have way more off days than baseball.
Baseball is the least like having to run and shit.
But hitting like a fastball or a curveball.
If I'm a pitcher, I'm going to be gonna be an alcoholic baseball players in spring training have the
best life ever they go like all the starters they play like two innings and they get a golf
cart back and then they leave and play golf it's awesome yeah that's a relief pitcher would be dope
a relief pitcher would be the best i i think we had someone did a hypothetical like if you could
pick any position pro sports to play for what would you do and i said a relief pitcher for the san
diego padres that would be the greatest thing ever no stress no media you want to be josh hater
but no i don't i want to be a middle reliever oh yeah an indian's eater yeah yeah right like
for era yeah you're just living in san diego You know that there's, like, the media's not going to get up your ass.
You get to travel around all summer long.
You live in San Diego.
That would be the dream.
I don't think any other position would be better.
Arizona's good, too.
We had some of the relievers in the office a couple weeks ago.
Too hot.
Chill as fucking as can be.
Too hot in the summer.
Yeah.
I don't think you can try to top that.
I don't know what would be the top.
Reliever San Diego?
Like, I wouldn't want to be a QB.
No.
Back up QB.
You always say back up.
But then you're nervous you'll have to get in.
Yeah, back up QB would just kind of suck.
But then it's not your fault if you lose.
True.
I think being a good sixth man in basketball would be sweet, like for Miami,
because when you get in, you get to take all the shots,
but you get none of the pressure of the starters,
and you get to live a sweet life,
and you get summers off if you're a basketball player.
That's the problem with baseball.
You get summers off.
The best time of year, you're busy.
You can go live somewhere where no one else is getting to experience something.
But for baseball, you get football season off.
Most have of it.
If your team stays.
I mean, most of the Yankees all have football season off right now.
Like basketball, football starts,
and then you've got to start playing basketball right away.
I play baseball.
I love football so much that I play baseball so I can watch football.
Exactly.
I was a great football player growing up,
but then I had to pivot to baseball.
Out of my level of football.
The only thing that would be better is being a golfer,
but being on the PGA Tour would also be a lot.
Actually, being a reliever, I think it would get too boring.
No way. I bet you have great camaraderie out there, though. There's a reliever, I think it would get too boring. No way.
I bet you have great camaraderie out there, though.
There's a lot of games.
You're a competitor.
There's a lot of games.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
You've got to go to so many games.
I'm agreeing with you.
There's not much job to do in a reliever's league.
You can be great this year and just cut next year.
Also, like when you pitch, like if you pitch a couple innings
and the coach the next day is like, we're not using you,
you could sit in the big dugout and hang out.
Do pranks.
You get a cool walkout song when you run out.
Yeah.
Do a little hot foot with the bells.
I think if you're an elite athlete at that level,
your competitive drive would just kill you to have to sit so much.
I think living in San Diego during the summer
and not being able to enjoy San Diego because you're busy all the time,
every single day that you're playing a game,
that would be torture.
But you aren't.
You'd be driving past the –
But in January, you're still in San Diego.
But your games also are like 7 o'clock at night.
You have all day.
And people are at the beach year-round.
Yeah, but what are you going to do during the day if you have a game at night?
Hang out, play golf.
Are you hitting the beach?
Are you hitting the beach?
I think you're hitting the beach.
I don't think you're hitting the beach.
That's what I mean.
I'm driving to the ballpark and seeing everyone surfing.
They don't hit the beach like we hit the beach. And people that live at the beach don't go to're hitting the beach. That's what I mean. I've been driving to the ballpark and seen everyone surfing. They don't hit the beach like we hit the beach.
People that live at the beach don't go to the beach.
Right.
Titus, how about you?
That's why I live at the beach.
I would go to the beach when I lived at the beach.
Some people do.
Yeah.
People like Titus.
It depends on the person.
Yeah.
Either you do or you don't, really.
But would you go in the ocean or just eat?
I would go in the ocean, yeah.
I would body surf.
Yeah. I tried to body surf. Yeah.
I tried to real surf.
It wasn't for me.
Who wrote the blog about Marlins man on the website?
Calling him a fraud.
He's very upset at me right now.
He did go to the Marlins playing yesterday.
He went to a Brewers game.
Now you sound like you're anti-Marlins man.
I'm anti what he did?
He wants on the show.
He wants on PMT, right?
Yes, he did.
Jordy, oh, that's tough.
Marlins man's biggest fraud in sports after not showing up for Marlins playoff game in Philly.
Well, COVID-19 is over.
Wow, it's officially over?
That's his first mistake.
He believed in that shit?
Wait, is this like his first game since COVID?
No.
Marlins man just texted me.
He said, let's see.
Wait, was Marlinsman saying he thought the Marlins were going to be in?
Milwaukee, yeah.
Yeah.
He said, I went on the show to defend myself.
I've gotten over 500 messages after Barstool dropped an article calling me a fraud and coward.
After I defended them and stuck up for Barstool when in 2016 and 2017 they always talked about Hample, Gorilla,
Suck My Dick, and were
known as white alcoholic boys racist
degrading women and I said
no, they are good, not like that.
And I proved it by associating
publicly with Barstool.
He did kind of say Barstool during that time.
Yeah.
What a line.
They always talked about Hample gorilla suck my dick
we need to make it a shirt what a line hample gorilla suck my dick you know
that was didn't you had him and marlins's man on at the same time to debate right
yes they had a huge they had a huge all time there was a baseball game being played at a uh
army base yeah and it was only for veterans and hample got no maybe marlin's man got no i think
zach hample zach hample got tickets on the side of the man was like everyone's like marlin's man
why aren't you there and he's like i would never take a ticket from a veteran unlike that scumbag zach
hample great great meeting of the minds it was right around when harambe died yeah no it was
gorillas suck my dick ham you remember the day do you remember the day during covid when we were
gonna do the yak and uh hample walked was just walking past the office yeah yeah and then was
like oh yeah come up yeah he was he knew someone in that building he weighs like 112 pounds soaking
wet too yeah well he's also the goat so let's just saying why are you why are you shaming his weight
maybe don't wear tank top i can see your ribs like did wrestle 112 have a sandwich what was
your record in high school middle of j July. Why are you skinny shaming?
I would like to see you try to catch as many home run balls as he's caught.
It would be tough.
Yeah.
He's the GOAT.
He's got it down to his science.
He's got the perfect body type for it.
Yeah.
He can get in and out of places pretty quickly.
I know how to say that thing in Japanese because of Zach Hample.
What?
The Japanese thing that I say.
Oh, you weren't here on Otani Day.
Oh, yeah.
What was it?
Choto, broto, nagate, kurusei.
What is that?
Can I have a ball, please?
He did a YouTube tutorial?
He's got it in like 15 languages.
You definitely are a YouTube Zach Hample guy.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I brought gloves to games until college.
I love that.
I was trying to get balls.
I get there early, and I go to the outfield and try and snag balls.
Did you get them?
Game 4, 2017 ALCS.
You got one?
Yeah.
From who?
Evan Gattis.
I was in the bleachers.
Everybody else was up front.
I went up high and just yelled at Evan Gattis until he threw a ball.
Love that.
How many balls do you have?
Not 1,000, but like 15 probably.
That's pretty good.
Yeah.
Do any of you guys have memorabilia, like a room for memorabilia?
I do.
I have a Sandy Kofax ball.
What's your best piece?
Who gave me?
I have a Cody Reese shelf in my apartment.
I have a baseball stuff in my basement.
I got a signed Robbie Bosco jersey through a friend,
1984 Heisman Trophy winner.
So it says Bosco 6 from BYU. He did not
win the Heisman. Frank would know.
He didn't? They were national champion.
No, Doug Flutie won the Heisman.
84?
Robbie Bosco never won the Heisman Trophy.
I thought they went
undefeated. The team
did, but he did not win the Heisman Trophy.
So it was the national champion.
There you go.
That's better.
Right.
I should have asked the dozen champion before I said it.
You're right.
Me?
Yeah.
I won once.
I got fucked up. National champion, 84.
What are you?
Here's the dozen champion, too.
I went to trivia night with your producer?
Cody?
Oh, Cody.
Cody.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, you're friends with him.
He tweeted.
He called his shot.
He's like, I'm going to go back to my roots and get first place today.
We're assembling an Avengers squad.
We got second to last.
Oh, my God.
He was dog shit.
Did he get anything right?
Our whole team was dog shit.
Who's your team?
Him and Rudy? I mean, we were like me, my girlfriend, his girlfriend Rudy.
Cody just asked.
We did it last week, too.
He says he's big into trivia.
He used to win all the time.
Last week, 14th out of 18.
And that was only because of geography bonus round.
This week, 5th out of 8.
And that was only because of a geography bonus round.
We were amongst the worst.
So, wait, his Avengers is
It was hard trivia.
It wasn't sports centric.
And he didn't invite me? It was just like two
grueling hours of not
knowing. I was the host. Trivia hosts can
just like at the bars.
It was hard. Sounds like a miserable
time. I was in hell.
That's hell. And then a photographer comes up
and she was like, do you want a picture?
I was like, yeah, I guess.
Is it for your Facebook page in my head?
Took a bunch.
Comes back with six framed photos.
And then she gets out her little credit card charger.
So I scammed into that.
$20 a piece.
How many did you end up buying?
All of them.
I have six framed photos of our horrible dog shit trivia team.
Are they all the same photo?
What's the difference in the six?
Me and my girlfriend in one.
I have him and his girlfriend in my apartment.
It was so embarrassing.
Not embarrassing.
It was hard.
There's nothing worse Than doing trivia
When you just don't
Like when we do the dozen
And like we stink
It's
And like part of
It's not
It's like the least fun
Thing you can do
You can't even get
In the neighborhood
Right
And figure out
What the answers are
Like it's
You just feel like
Such an idiot
You can't even venture
I can't even venture
A guess
Yeah
We've ever played here
In one of them
Yeah
Yeah
Exactly
I worked at a bar
That did a round once.
It was like the interactive thing where he plays the music
in between the DJ. They did
My Little Pony or Pornstar.
And they would read out the name.
So it's like
Misty Red.
And you're like, I don't know.
It was interactive. It was good.
And a lot of them you can't tell.
The callers, we did a game P Porn Star are Kentucky Derby winners.
And then we would just give them Porn Stars, and they would be like, Porn Star.
I'm like, wow, you really know your porn.
Pokemon or prescription drug is a popular one as well.
What is it?
Pokemon or prescription drug.
Oh, I like that.
That's good.
I've seen it at baby showers.
They do.
Is this a porn face or a labor face?
Oh, that's good. That's good. I've seen it baby showers. They do. Is this a porn face or a labor face? Oh, that's good.
I never thought about that.
They do that with women's tennis, too.
Yeah.
The audio.
Oh, yeah.
Jake Marsh is a moaner.
Oh, with that?
He plays tennis.
Does he moan?
Oh, yeah.
Big time.
He's in a tennis league, which he might be in.
Whenever he gets to the
championship i think we're gonna have to do a flash mob to like get another guy's head show up
he plays like competitively plays competitive i would like to watch him big time oh i've just
been notified by the league commissioner that i've been promoted to elite 3.75 division wow
and just like that i go from one of the favorites to an underdog for the playoffs in the Olympics.
Oh, that's today.
Or yesterday.
Oh.
Oh.
Do we have him hitting a ball?
Do we have that moment? Him and ask him. Really go back and forth.
I don't know if we have him playing. We played
tennis last summer.
I think he was moaning.
Does he moan in pickleball too?
Oh, yeah.
He moans in everything.
He'll give you a moan.
If you're a moaner, you're a moaner.
Yeah.
He makes a lot of moans.
He'll moan when he's sitting down.
Turning the steering wheel in his car.
Yeah.
Mr. Positions.
Like a fat guy getting out of a recliner.
Don't joke about that.
It's harder than you think.
It's harder than you think.
When you get that nice, comfortable seat.
Yeah, it's also more old than fat.
Yeah, Brandon, you're not getting out of recliners well these days.
Right, correct.
I don't get out of this chair very well.
How's the anxiety today?
Good, I'm fine.
I feel good.
Happy to be here.
You want to spin the wheel?
There's no way it lands on it again.
No, there's no chance it lands on it.
We'll do the wheel at the appointed wheel time
like we always do.
We thinking Carbone next week?
Carbone? Oh, yeah, we could.
Well, I owe it to everyone here, though.
Yeah, Rico.
Oh, you're not going?
No.
We also can't leave. Well, I owe it to everyone here, though. Yeah, Rico. Oh, you're not going? No. Surviving Barstool.
We also can't leave the office.
I forgot you weren't doing the...
Yeah, we can't leave the office.
Well, I meant...
Yeah, Dukes is going to do Healthy Debate.
We decided on Pickham today.
Dukes is going to do Healthy Debate for the whole week.
Oh, nice.
Because we're trying not to do live shows because there will be clear spoilers on, like,
wow, he took a shower today or whatever.
Are you concerned about that, Rico?
No. We'll be all right.
Live spoilers?
Live spoilers, no.
Oh.
I did get an invite to do Taylor Watch with Gia and Kelly.
I thought you weren't allowed.
No, they rescinded.
They said they'd love to have a conversation.
Are you prepared?
I might be more than prepared.
I have some damning, damning evidence.
Of who?
Of Kelly Keyes and the way she talks about
travis kelsey's penis seems like we're being a little hypocritical right a little hypocritical
around here what was the phrase she used like dick dick down or something no no i was like hip dignitized something like that
i want us we'll know where the kelsey hive is i did have one moment yesterday where i was like
what if kelsey does his podcast and it's like i saw what big cat said it's so fucked up like my
life would be over yeah then you're in it from all angles yeah then i'd be so fucked but what
if he said big cat's right here's a video of us fucking then i would yeah that'd be so fucked. What if he said Big Cat's right, here's a video of us fucking?
Then I would, yeah.
That would be awesome.
You win.
Oh, my God.
I would just be demanding apology from everyone online.
My favorite of the guys who I had one last night who calls Barstool Barfstool.
That's always good.
That's always a really good one.
It's that and the asterisk.
The asterisk is still the funniest thing ever.
Was it Wide Cat?
Wide Cat.
Wide Dog.
Oh, Wide Dog.
That's a good one.
You should resign.
What did they call you yesterday that we were scrolling through?
Blob?
Yes.
Perverted Podcast Blob?
No.
Yeah.
Perverted Podcast Blob.
The, what was it? I heard a podcast blogger. The Daily News, I think, had a hilarious headline that I might get framed.
What was it?
Oh, yeah, here it is.
Taylor Swift fan slams disgusting Barstool sports host Dan Kass after he demanded to see a sex tape of singer and Travis Kelsey before he believes romance is real.
This man has a daughter.
Good times. romance is real this man has a daughter oh good times uh nicky you want to do the high noon ad yes i do yeah yes i do do it it's time to load up on the ice and break out the oversized lawn games
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gluten-free, no added sugar. Tommy, what's
your favorite flavor? I love pineapple
and watermelon. But what about in the game day pack?
Black cherry.
Black cherry? Thank you.
It does not get enough respect.
Grapefruit doesn't either. It tastes like
a fresca. High Noon game day pack is back. It's fall exclusive doesn't either. It tastes like a fresca.
High Noon Game Day pack is back.
It's fall exclusive, which means it's here for a good time, not a long time.
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Get yourself a pack, please.
That was that.
That was that, boys.
What else you got? What is Steven's got going on in his brain right now tire swings we're on there what is the best type of swing to have in your yard regular swing
set tire swing big flat circle lay down swing hammock where's a porch swing is a hammock a swing
yeah yeah i think hammocks a swing not if you do it are overrated. I think hammocks are a swing. Hammocks are a swing.
Not if you do it right.
Wait, Alex Bennett went on Kirk's show?
Yeah.
Yesterday?
Yeah.
I gotta listen.
I listened to the first part of the show.
What did she say?
I don't know.
That Olive Garden picture.
Can you just put it up again?
It makes me laugh every time.
They said that she's in the business of selling.
He's like, you're going to explain why you left?
And she's like, yeah, I'm in the business of selling tickets.
So go to the live shows.'re just kind of nothing seems like a like
a slow reveal well i think what they're trying to do it is when you hear your family i think
thursday is what is what is this this is their picture oh they're it was taken on like the
street at dumbo but then they put an olive garden behind him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a bitch.
Is that the American Girl font?
Oh, that might be.
Yeah.
Well, of course it is, if that's what he asked.
I mean, they're smart to...
It has to be.
They're smart to hold it back.
I think Thursday is the day that Alex is talking about her relationship, right?
Yeah.
With Graham.
I mean...
How do we know that?
They posted, like, what each day they were teasing, which is smart.
They should do that.
Like if they want.
Yeah, look.
Why we left Arsenal night one.
Jordan's relationship status night two.
What's next for us night three.
Four nights of live shows?
Four nights of live shows.
Feels like three and four should be flipped.
Are they posting these on?
No.
Wait, where is the show?
Do you have to be there to
get the deets tommy we're gonna need you there all four night wait they're not posting these on
podcast feeds i don't know and send them to buy all four yeah they're like gonna cut it down into
their first episode or something i don't know i don't think so how have they not that's i think
it'd be crazy if they did we gotta send somebody a report Clemmer. This seems like a Clemmer. He can blend in.
He blends.
Clemmer should go.
He looks like every mean girl.
Weird disguise.
Yeah.
That would be great.
Are they all four shows in New York City?
I think so.
Yeah.
They're four sequential nights, I think.
Yeah.
They're like Billy Joel.
So they're a series.
Like if you go to two, you have to go to three and four.
You have to.
You can't not go to four.
Four is the juice. And you can't go to three without having gone to have to. You can't not go to four. Four is the juice.
And you can't go to three without having gone to one or two.
You'll be confused.
Right.
You lost the plot.
Oh, side note, like connecting the dots and everything,
our sexy stories are due tomorrow, right?
Yeah.
I thought they were due Friday.
Oh, Friday.
Just a reminder to everyone to get those out.
I'm just getting.
I'm not going to be here Friday.
Do you want to do it Monday?
Yeah. Well, we have to have them submitted by Monday. not going to be here Friday Do you want to do it Monday? Yeah
We have to have them submitted
They have to be done Friday
They have to be submitted
So can we just do it tomorrow?
So we're not actually reading
We want to do mine and I'll do yours
We're not reading them on the show
No, no
It's an excerpt, a teaser
Do you want me to write yours?
You write mine
That way it feels like we're not doing it
It would feel like that
No, no, no
Don't let Dan do yours
Do not let Dan do yours
Do you have Brandon Walker? I do I'll do yours yours you do mine have you you have the cum flood right
i'll let you yeah you can do brandon all right so you got yeti what was the point of the wheel
what was the point of everything if he can just respect well no it's so that we don't feel like
when you do someone else's homework it's not like you're doing your own homework it feels like less
of a chore and you don't care if it's good right the wheel didn't assign you brandon walker you
just went and got it you traded for it yeah we just made a trade so what do i have come flood
brandon walker come flood brandon walker camara okay i have uh yeti monster titties i can okay
18 year old virgin i've uh i've incorporated joi into mine so it's helping you jerk off as you
okay nice nice nice all right yeah i can get into the mind of brandon walker so it's helping you jerk off as you're Okay, nice. Nice. Nice.
All right, yeah, I can get into the mind of Brandon Walker.
A young pale boy.
Oh, I wasn't pale.
From the deltas of Mississippi.
First of all, that's bullshit.
I'm not from the delta.
The delta is two hours west of where I'm from.
You're from the suburb? I'm from the Golden Triangle, so.
From the deltas of Mississippi.
She had a golden triangle. I'm not even anywhere near the delta. What's the Golden Triangle. From the deltas of Mississippi. She had a golden triangle.
I'm not even anywhere near the delta.
What's the Golden Triangle?
Columbus-Starville-West Point.
Is that where the soil's real fertile?
Wait, there's no way that it's – no one from anywhere but West Point
calls it the Golden Triangle.
It's called the Golden Triangle.
You put yourself in the Golden Triangle?
What's the airport that you fly into?
The Golden Triangle Regional Airport. Is that that true it's called the golden triangle that is
okay all right i stand corrected wait what's columbia west point there's west point
all right golden triangle yeah it's the golden triangle say that county name
clay yeah they call that equilateral triangle oct Octibihaw and Lowndes. Brandon, we had D'Amico Ryans on the show today on PM.
He's awesome.
I am so happy.
Oh, my God.
I'm obsessed with D'Amico.
He's incredible.
He's the hottest guy in the world.
That's good.
I used to just watch 49ers games last year to see him because anytime they showed a glimpse of him, I fucking squealed.
Can we pull this guy up?
Yeah.
He's like if Idris Elba was hotter.
His skin is perfect.
Yeah, and his body. Nice body. Did you say if Idris Elba was hotter? He's like if Idris Elba was hotter. His skin is perfect. Yeah, and his body.
Nice body.
Did you say if Idris Elba was hotter?
He's a hotter Idris Elba.
God damn.
Wow.
Yeah, in my mind.
I asked him, though, because he went to Alabama,
but the other school he was thinking about was Mississippi State.
I was like, were you ever actually thinking about Mississippi State?
He's like, not when Alabama offered us.
I mean, okay.
There's a lot of guys like that that we were about to sign, and then Alabama said, hey, come over here. I mean, okay. There's a lot of guys like that that we were about to sign
and then Alabama said, hey, come over here.
I made it clear.
I was like, can you just tell us, like, were you thinking Mississippi State?
He's like, no.
Was he a five-star?
There's no way he was thinking about us.
I don't even remember him.
He said he got offered to you guys first, and then he went to Alabama
and he canceled the visit with you.
If Tommy Walker got offered Alabama and Mississippi State,
what are you doing?
He's going to Mississippi State.
What if there's a chance?
Can't make his own decision?
Can't make his own decision?
Well, I mean.
Do you want to win titles?
He's going to be raised to make the right decisions.
Does he want to be a first-round pick in the NFL?
Our last 10 years are littered with first-round picks.
Have you heard of Chris Jones?
Litter?
Letcher Cox?
You just refer to your team as a litter? Jeffrey
Simmons? We had a first
rounder last year. I don't remember his
name. Emmanuel Forbes. So you're forcing him to do it? Yes.
What if he doesn't want your life?
What if Ben Mintz
adopts him and makes him go to Ole Miss?
Oh, like the blind side. I don't want to
overreact, but I'm killing every motherfucker.
I'm killing you. I'm killing you.
I'm killing every motherfucker in this room. Tommy. I'm killing you. I'm killing you. I'm killing every motherfucker in this room.
Tommy Walker finally finds a real dad in Ben Mintz.
What a story.
All the Brandon Walker jokes are fun.
We're going to go ahead and stop that one.
Stop that one right there.
Ben Mintz being your son's new better father.
Oh, he takes Ole Miss to back-to-back national titles.
You'd have to be proud of your boy.
Yeah.
No, it is funny.
I will burn this goddamn building.
What's up, Dad?
Unless, like, katana slicing becomes a major sport,
I don't think you have to worry.
Oh, man, that would be sick to get a scholarship for that.
Yeah.
We got a bunch of fruit here at Mississippi State.
We need to cut up.
No way to do it.
Tommy put Fruit Ninja on my phone.
Have you been playing?
Yeah, I'm not very good at it.
How?
You're just going to slide your finger.
Really?
I keep missing fruit. Yeah, but then they do weird shit at you.
It gets harder late.
It's easy early.
What was his – or what are the topics you got for
tommy's thursday thoughts oh it was tommy tommy walker day uh tommy walkerman it was about travis
kelsey and taylor swift today uh-oh be careful yep he was very measured about it he had a very
very fair take on it sex tape it was he demanded after he demanded P and V and all that and I was
like Tommy whoa if we see it Tommy Walker's over party there's not much to
it
just give it to us give us a little bit all right Tommy what do you think about Kansas City Chiefs tight end Trunks Kelsey dating Taylor Swift? It's alright.
I don't really think much of it, considering I'm not really a fan of either.
But I still, I hope they find, I hope they find the one they most love.
Yeah, I agree.
But you know some Taylor Swift songs, right?
Mm.
Okay.
Who's your favorite musician?
Uh, probably Bon Jovi.
Yeah.
Do you know who he's dating?
No.
Who do you think he should date?
I don't know.
Me either.
Here's the key part.
Well, all right.
Any advice to Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey?
No.
Okay.
Listen to how empty that house is.
That was it.
I have no furniture. My God. I have no furniture my god i have no furniture
that was a good aunt dan you should take notes yeah that's how you're supposed to very good job
very measured are we getting an emergency text message people keep tweeting me about yeah yeah
i believe 1 20 p.m central time all of your phones will start ringing yeah we're autistic
what what's going on they're bringing COVID. Don't want to let everybody know.
Now they're testing, like, the emergency alert system on everyone in the world's phone or
America's phone or something.
See, this is the type of alert system they need for, like, so-and-so team is coming out
and they're, like, all black jerseys or, like, a mascot just died.
Yeah.
Or, like, a-
Thai football game with 45 seconds yeah yeah
like these are the good things yeah steak egg and cheese bagels back at mcdonald's yeah find that
out right stand remember they accidentally texted everyone in hawaii that like a nuke was on its way
yes yes oh yeah was it a nuke or was it like a tidal wave no it was a nuke someone was in a nuke
like a nuclear plant hit a button the wrong way.
Turn off your cell phones
on October 1st. The EBS is going to test
the system using 5G.
This will activate the Marburg virus
and people who have been vaccinated
and sadly turn some of them into zombies.
Oh, we got zombies today.
We got zombies today.
What?
What time is this happening?
I got double community notice. Stephen Che is going to be the We've got zombies today. What? What time is this happening? That's how it starts.
I got double community notice.
Stephen Che is going to be the zombiest of zombies.
Oh, man.
So everyone gets a text message?
You think that's why he's been sick?
Yeah.
He's turning into a zombie.
I think it's like the loud, repeating.
Like a frequency?
I'm excited now.
What movie was that?
Tommy, you're actually concerned.
I am a little bit concerned.
Kingsman. I mean, if they're testing this, like, what's next? They're shutting actually concerned. I am a little bit concerned. Kingsman.
I mean, if they're testing this, like, what's next?
They're shutting us up.
They're warning us for something.
No, I think the frequency is going to activate something in the vaccine.
Zombies.
Remember when the weather bug set off on everyone's phones?
I'm going to let Jersey Jerry know about this.
He's going to be freaked out.
He's going to be fine.
Wait, call him right now and warn him. Okay.
And ask him, like.
No, but tell him it's something different. Like, if you hear a noise at 120, shit's going to be fine. Wait, call him. Call him right now and warn him. Okay. And ask him, like... No, but tell him it's something different.
Like, if you hear a noise at 120, shit's going down.
Yeah, just be like, hey, man, like, don't bother coming in today.
Like, there's been some threats.
Transmit for 30 minutes.
What?
What?
Huh?
30 minutes. And this is from FEMA. 30 minutes what what five minutes this and this is from fema
30 minutes judge jerry wants to be a pro golfer when he grows up hello hey you're on the act um
did you see that we're all getting this text message at 120 from the government what are you
talking about is there's a text message going to everyone's phone at 120 from the government.
They're saying that it's a virus in it.
All right.
So obviously don't click it or respond.
I'd turn the phone off.
Or do click it and respond.
I don't know.
No, it's a real disease.
I think he thinks it's like a computer virus.
Yeah, I don't know.
We were just reading something about people turning into zombies.
But that's if they have the vaccination.
Yeah, no, I mean, I'm not going to click it.
Right.
But you're not vaccinated, right?
No, Danny, you know that.
Yeah, that's true.
Well, you voted for Biden, so I get confused.
Yeah, don't ever.
Do me a favor.
I'll take a bullet for you.
I'll do anything for you, the kids, anything.
Do not ever say that on the air again.
Okay, all right.
Well, I just wanted to, the text message,
I think it's an alert going to everyone's phone.
I didn't want you to freak out.
All right, that's no problem.
Hey, last thing, before you hang up,
can you have the yak help me and you guys have so many more fans than me can you please tell people to to try to find the firewood guy yes it's not a lot of money it's just
the principal right oh yeah so you got scammed for firewood? Yes.
Tell me what happened.
It does have a lot of followers. Two likes, three followers.
I understand you got this guy.
I'm going for cherry wood specifically because cherry wood burns really well,
and it has that, like, crackling, like, crackling sound.
Yep.
So that's the type of wood I wanted.
And I was going all through through facebook marketplace trying to get a
good deal on wood and cherry wood's pretty expensive for a face cord of it so um i reached
out to a couple people some people answered some people didn't and then this one guy
reached back out and he was like hey sell me and i'll deliver it i'm like no i'm not gonna sell you
and you deliver it i'll give it to you when you get here.
And he's like, okay, no problem.
At least can you give a deposit
so I can start loading up and come your way?
And I was like, okay, no problem.
So I sent him a deposit of like 110 bucks, I think.
Okay.
And then he stopped answering
and then he answered a couple hours later
saying he needed the full payment in order to load up.
And I'm like, dude, I'm not sending you the full payment.
You know what I mean?
Like, I need my wood.
We already had a deal.
And then pretty much gave me this sob story about how his wife won't let him
load up the wood until it's fully paid for.
Anyway, obviously I got scammed.
Well, no, that's not obvious.
Sounds like you have to pay the full amount.
That's what I'm afraid of.
I see this guy the full amount.
How much is the full amount, Jerry?
But didn't he say that if you send the full amount, he'll load it up?
Yeah.
So it seems like he's seems like a fairy just like he's being pretty straightforward
i figured out it was a scam once he brought up the white one let him load the wood and stuff
like that well but i'm confused he said i need the full deposit or else i can't load it up and
you're like i'm not sending the full deposit sounds like you're scamming him no no dan listen
he he was the one who said, give me the full amount.
I said, no.
And I asked him the question.
Can I give you half?
That emergency alert.
And then give you half when you get here.
He agreed to it.
I sent him the Zelle.
And then all of a sudden, after I sent him the Zelle, he said, oh, no,
miscommunication
sorry i thought you were going to send the full amount i'm like no dude we just agreed to it
then he started saying disappeared for a couple hours then he came back and he said my wife's not
letting me load the wood unless i get the full the full okay okay just disappeared on me and then i
okay you know how much cherry wood costs? Yeah How much was the full deposit?
Or how much was the full amount?
Uh, $250
Okay, so you didn't even pay half
Yeah, so pretty much I gave him a deposit
You know what I mean?
Yeah
But he can't load it because his wife
Okay, alright, we'll put out the word
Where does he say he lives?
I gave him a portion of it, you know?
Yeah.
Where does he say he lives?
So there's a picture on Facebook.
I tried to look up the company, and I can't.
There's guys wearing green shirts, and I think it says Premier on the back.
I don't know if that's the company or what.
I told him I was a police officer.
He's not on this continent.
You know what I mean?
But nothing's working.
Okay.
Jerry.
We'll do our best, Jerry.
We'll put out the word.
Yeah, dude.
Please.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
We'll see you later.
Bye.
Jerry would enough of a scam to run a scam?
Jerry being like, I'm actually a cop.
They're just in a standoff of scams.
This guy probably has a catalog of pictures of different items that could be on sale.
Can we check out the page, actually?
Yeah, we got to get this.
Two likes and three followers.
Who are the followers?
Jerry's probably one. We got to get this. Two likes and three followers. Who are the followers? I still feel like if I'm understanding this correctly,
Jerry's just got to pay the full amount.
Yeah.
And then his wife will let him load it up.
But he didn't say like six grand.
Yeah, but like what?
Yeah, I did too, Rico.
When he said 250, I was like, wow.
It's the principle.
It's the principle.
The guy was very clear.
His wife won't let him load it up unless Jerry pays the full amount.
Women be like that.
Seems like if you pay the full amount, the wife is going to give the go-ahead.
Right.
Seems like you get your cherry wood.
I think competitive scamming should be something.
Oh, I love that.
I think it's a skill.
It's called the U.S. government.
How much could you scam people out of giving it?
That's a good attention to detail.
5.6? He has a meter it that's a good attention to detail 5.6 he has a meter good yeah
that's damn good you just reverse image search the profile picture and it's the first result
if you google firewood oh yeah can we reverse and roach it'd be great if this guy had just like all
five star reviews there's the shirt that's firewood guy in the world yeah like the four
star review is just like wife is a nag premier what does that say you're fired they really
loaded that truck well yeah but see look in the chicago area i don't think any wife would let him
load that truck without the money these guys are good wait i think it's legit competitive scam i
want to go and say i bet that truck's always loaded but why additive scamming would be such
a great reality show what What would you do?
I mean, no one scams better than degenerate gamblers. Those guys just scam
left and right.
People need drugs.
Yeah.
A coin
where you could kiss us if you ever
fucking see us. Sell them across
the country. Oh, I saw a guy
when we were in Lincoln who was like,
I have a coin and my heart dropped. I was like, I have a coin, and my heart dropped.
I was like, God damn it.
Your heart fluttered, you mean.
Yeah, because you were so excited to kiss him.
New coin coming soon, by the way.
Oh, yeah, we got a new one coming soon.
Black Friday weekend, new coin.
I'm afraid of this one because it's too practical.
Like, it's good to carry around.
Is this the fuck coin?
Yeah.
Well, no, the fuck coin weighs 563 pounds, apparently.
I wanted 600, but they couldn't.
What if Taylor Swift gave one to Travis Kelsey?
Now he has to.
Now he's locked in.
All right, so we have 20 minutes until our phones go off.
I'm excited.
All of our phones are going to go off at the same time?
Yeah.
I'm nervous.
I'm nervous.
I don't know if that affects this.
Yeah, I do too too what'd you say i
have you can turn the emergency alerts off i want to turn them on i did a tick talk of me shirtless
and like pedophile glasses like giving a tutorial about how to turn amber alerts off but i never put Oh, man. Pretty easy to do.
You okay, Bosco?
Yeah.
Sure?
TV's didn't work on the plane today.
Oh, that's brutal.
That is brutal.
I said something about the weather.
I'm like, what's going on?
I said, the weather.
I was like, all right.
That's a bullshit. The weather wouldn't affect the TV's.
They always.
They said, we're trying to reset it.
Then I did watch half of that Jennifer Lawrence movie which one the one silver linings playbook no
hard feelings no hard feelings you get to the full front later I didn't I had
it after that's a risky move knowing there's nudity in a movie watching on a
plane they got to block that out on the plane I don't know no they let it go
really the only warning they give before movies if there's a plane crash in the
movie really yeah I didn't know that Delta at least before movies is if there's a plane crash in the movie. Really? Yeah.
I didn't know that.
Delta at least does.
It'd be funny if there was a category on Delta and it's like plane crash.
Yeah.
Just a montage.
When Tommy and I flew to London, we didn't have Wi-Fi or screens.
Really?
It was freeing, really.
It was horrible.
That's insane.
No Wi-Fi to London?
No Wi-Fi to London.
They told us when we took off, they're like, yeah, it's not working today.
What time did you guys take off?
Midday.
That would be so nerve-wracking.
I would take it.
It's nerve-wracking.
Has Justine landed yet?
Yeah, but that's why I didn't tweet anything before, you know.
That was really crazy.
African kids.
That whole story.
What was that?
It was the woman who was going to South Africa.
Justine Sacco, right?
Yeah, and she tweeted a joke.
Yeah.
And she got on the plane, and her joke went viral, and everyone was canceling her.
And then it became like a thing where everyone was waiting for her flight to land.
It was so brutal.
It was like on my way to Africa.
On my way to AIDS.
And she died?
I'm kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm white.
I don't remember the last part.
I forgot about that.
What a finisher.
But it also was like the worst.
What year was this?
This was 2013.
13.
Yeah, no, it was like the worst of Twitter because it was essentially the entire internet was like we're canceling this person.
Look at this.
Wait.
Media won't show you that.
What the hell are you doing
justine is fired wow but yeah so she like could you imagine the dread of getting off the plane
and your phone you turn on your phone for the first time but she didn't probably didn't have
the effect uh anticipate that type of reaction you know no definitely not the internet just
decided to just like pile on her you think it's bad i mean it was yeah they wrote a book about it like it is kind of
like it's basically it was cancellation everyone canceled her for a cancelable offense i guess
i wonder how she's doing i think she's doing but i think there's like a redemption arc there was
her only fans and people were like we fucked up, we shouldn't have been that.
Have her run.
Three people I know that have AIDS, like celebrities
are white.
Who? Mercury and Charlie Sheen.
Mercury white?
Zanzibar.
Pull it back up.
She made the long journey from New York to South Africa to visit family
during the holidays in 2013. Justine Sacco
30 years old and the senior director of corporate communication.
I see.
That's a big job.
That's what she was then, right?
Oh, she went at the Germans.
Oh, she's a good tweeter.
Look at this one.
Weird.
Chili.
Cucumber sandwiches.
Bad teeth.
Back in London.
Yeah, this is her.
She's an equal opportunity offender.
Yeah.
She chuckled to herself as she pressed send on the last one, then wandered around Heathrow's
International Terminal for half an hour, sporadically checking her phone.
No one replied, which didn't surprise her.
She only had 170 Twitter followers.
I think that's what was so notable about it.
It wasn't like she's a celebrity or anything.
She was just some random lady.
Then it went viral.
She was completely random.
When the plane landed in Cape Town and was taxiing on the runway,
she turned on her phone right away.
She got a text from someone she hadn't spoken to since high school.
I'm so sorry to see what's happening.
Sacco looked at it, baffled. Then another text. You you need to call me immediately it was from her best friend hannah then her phone exploded with more texts and
alerts then it rang it was hannah you're the number one worldwide trend on twitter right now that is
oh my god that would be you need just i'd be like oh they finally caught on to me i think i would
think it was probably a good thing holy shit shit. You need Justine Sacco.
You need to hire her to do PR for this Taylor Swift situation.
Bring her in.
Could you imagine, though, being on a plane and then landing and being like, oh, the whole world is talking about you?
Although, technically, if she didn't get AIDS while in Africa, she was right.
That's true, right?
What's the same as, like, going out drunk?
Wait a minute.
Can we read the tweet again?
Did Africa care?
Probably not
Did she say
Hope I don't get AIDS
Kidding
I mean she
She hopes she does get AIDS
Yeah I remember the hashtag
Just kidding
Yeah that's nice
She wanted AIDS
She wanted AIDS
What did the guy do
When he got to the airport?
Somebody landed at the airport
To like catch her landing
Yeah someone went to the airport
To try to likearazzi her.
How'd they know where she was going to land?
Meek Phil.
The whole internet was tracking her flight.
Yeah.
It was a wild thing.
Did she say where she was going?
Yeah, she said South Africa.
Oh, right.
Going to South Africa.
South Africa.
Damn.
Oh, Zod, do you remember being pissed or whatever?
Do you remember that?
First time hearing of this shit and nobody
That is extraordinarily racist.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'd cancel her.
But then, yeah, she had some
I think she was in a book about cancellations
or something. Her whole story.
I remember there was like one of the blogs
I think maybe Gawker.
Like a whole like we kind of went too hard on this situation.
Pull up her LinkedIn.
What you doing now?
We don't have to do that.
I'll check it out.
You're definitely our head of HR.
That would be great.
You don't have to pull up her LinkedIn.
I'm interested now.
Okay. I'm interested now.
I need a... Chief Communications Officer and Match Group.
She goes by Barstool Kate now.
Fitzsimmons?
Oh!
That means she probably
does work.
Chief Communications Officer?
We have it right here.
What a joke.
Wait, she's been incredibly successful. Yeah. FanDuel. WWE.
Wait, she's been incredibly successful.
Yeah.
Good for her.
Do I know anybody with her?
Maybe.
That looks like before WWE.
IAC was where it was.
It was at IAC, but then she went right to where?
What does IAC do? July 2013.
Although she went to January 14th.
Big hiatus.
What does IAC do?
Interactive Account Communication.
FanDuel got her after that.
Oh, it looks like there was a three-year gap.
Yeah.
Two-year.
No, half-year gap.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
So she's the Director of Corporate Communications in, what was that, July of 2013?
Yeah.
When did the, and then she gets promoted.
It was December. And then in July of 2013? Yeah. And then she gets promoted. It was December.
And then in July of 2013, she goes from director to senior director.
No, that was.
She was senior director when it happened.
Her tweet was December, January.
Oh, it was December.
She took eight.
She was already.
I got you.
That's a good job for her coming off of DL, though.
I feel like everyone who's like, oh, no, they've been canceled and their life's ruined.
They always end up, like, pretty fine. Yeah. Like, Louis've been canceled and their life's ruined, they always end up pretty fine.
Yeah. The triumph of the
human spirit is what it is.
Hard to keep us down. I thought you
were more like triumph of the
will guy. Is that what it's called?
Isn't will and human spirit the same thing?
No. What's the big Nazi propaganda
movie, Triumph of the Will? No.
I'm not even aware of that movie's
existence.
Not even aware that's a thing.
You've watched that movie.
Never heard of it.
It's your favorite movie.
There are some.
Let's spin the wheel before this alert.
I don't have access to view this profile.
You're getting really into it.
Yeah, I'm into it.
Bosco sees an opportunity to get her number.
She might become a college basketball coach.
Who knows?
I just need a cause.
Oh.
This is a terrible wheel.
Yeah.
And then who's out?
No one's out tomorrow, but Friday.
Should we read at least an excerpt of the book tomorrow?
We can, yeah.
Who's out Friday?
I am. KB, Nick. Oh, yeah, Kyle, you. Who's out Friday? I am.
KB, Nick.
Oh, yeah, Kyle, you're doing a boys trip?
To Pittsburgh?
No, they live in Pittsburgh.
It's a boys trip.
It's a boys trip for you.
What's the itinerary?
Pittsburgh.
Yeah, Mackindale.
Nick.
Wait, is the big guy going?
No, I don't think so.
Oh, the teacher we talked about his penis?
Wait, why is the big guy not going?
He's just a coach.
It's a far trip for him.
From Ohio to Pittsburgh?
I guess you're right.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, you're coming.
Fight him in Chicago.
I love that big guy.
Yeah, he's a man.
Is this her?
Stop, Rico.
Because I know that girl.
She's a smoke.
Wait, are you attracted to this woman?
No, the friend, the mutual friend.
You have a mutual friend?
I believe so.
Rico's got guys everywhere.
13 minutes.
I'm afraid, man.
I am too.
My head's starting to hurt.
I have a stomachache.
I'm starting to feel zombie-esque.
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She's in New York, too, so that's easy access.
He's done a rabbit hole.
It's getting weird.
Easy access, I'm just saying.
Easy access for what?
What does easy access mean?
Talk to her, see where she's at, confront her, make her pay for her sins.
What the hell are you talking about?
I'm just interested.
Have Tommy Smokes walk up on her and go
or whatever it is.
Should I risk her out?
I could risk her out.
It's a mutual friend with me on Facebook
but her is a smoke though.
What is going on right now?
Tommy, I want you to risk her out.
I'll risk her out.
Then I'll break her heart.
As justice for black people. What a yeah yeah your heart though uh tell me what to give her AIDS
I'm gonna get AIDS like I gotta go to Africa cancel Tommy proves that this is like great for
upward mobility right yeah Right Quite a story
I can't remember what book it was
But there was like a cancellation book
You good Brandon?
Sure?
Huh
I kind of want to
Can you set some of these
How long are you going to be gone?
What the hell?
Can you set some of these mousetrap key sack
and I want to try to get you have to rip a cipher you have to get a cipher a 5
before you go yeah we've broken on most of them we have we gotta buy just like
chucking them across the room and yeah it's shit that's three but this one
still works I think set a couple over there Brandon's like one of the better
on the table office he's not bad he's a good team player i'm surprised that he's good at it
well there it is is that five where'd he go
that's three again you're almost there
don't duck
there it is there we go there it is
there we go
there it is
did that get your fingertip?
yeah
that shit hurts
that's I set mine
at the beginning of the show just to throw at Brandon for no reason,
and I ended up putting my thumbnail directly on it.
Karma.
These glasses are something else.
There's no way.
There's no way that works.
Let's get them.
How do we flatten anything?
We'll have him wear the glasses on the way back.
No, I think he's just going to lift up the paper.
Did he look at the screen before he peed? He's the glasses on the way back. No, I think he's just going to lift up the paper. Oh, no, he's too...
Did he look at the screen before he peed? He's probably watching
on the toilet. Yeah.
But I'm going to have him wear the glasses
and walk. Comment and get Brandon
back. Research.
You're in a weird spot
right now. I don't like where you're at.
I don't... You're in...
You're in a bad...
If people like that are out there I'd like to keep
what you're right
I think if people
make mistakes in the past shouldn't be forgiven
fair enough
I mean it is kind of
crazy to be like I want to cancel her
I didn't say that I just want to know where she's at
why list of people
you have a list of like yep
where people are example say that i just want to know where she's at why list of people you have a list like you have you
keep tabs of where people are friend for example friend for shilla was a long time okay and then
this woman john ross ross the big four yes john ross ross and the fouch man fouchy i want to know
where they're at who who do you like the least on that list? Fouchman. The best is – Rico, you said –
Brandon, where are these and try to walk back?
Where are these and try to walk back?
He didn't let me go out.
I can still go out.
Yeah.
She'll probably bump into her.
Fouchman locked us in for three years.
Who's your all-time Little League baseball woe?
Can be player.
The guy running it now, the commissioner.
Yeah.
Yeah. The guy running it now, the commissioner.
You knew it?
Good thing you went that way. Why didn't you just walk around?
Fran Fraschello was the best Rico, the one that he –
someone wrote a blog or a story that Fran Fraschello –
didn't like the truth.
He got nailed by the media.
No, no, you were the media.
No, I read the media story.
So Fran Fischillo, after 9-11, said when he was playing Air Force.
Said Air Force, he said, yeah.
And it's a fake story.
The media was out to get him.
Right.
He said, hey, Lonnie, that's two.
He's like, I don't care about 9-11.
That's two, Lonnie.
And so Rico read that story in 2003 and then told it to everyone for the next 15 years
and then blamed the media when it turned out to be untrue.
Right.
And then we hashed it out and apologized.
But no one would have known that story if it wasn't for you.
Yes, they would have.
It was in the big-time papers.
People read it.
People read the news news i'm really nervous about this alert i'm excited seven minutes it's fat bear week what yeah what's the update so they
tried to take it away they tried to take it away from us the parks were shut down and we almost
lost it same crop of contenders. But we got, the bracket
came out today. Let's go. Let's see it.
Dan, your
favorite. I love this. Why? Because I'm
fat? No, you don't like these.
Okay.
So what, why is there not
a Bears player on there? This is the
same photo from last year. They didn't switch it up.
That's not that fat oh really i'm not impressed
i recognize oh that's how fat they yeah that's a good yeah i like progress july september
it's pretty good yeah
pop all right that's a little guy. Come on.
Oh, yeah.
This is like before and after pictures.
Wait, should we do a full voting tomorrow?
This is a whole episode.
Fat Bear Week is a whole thing.
I think we need... Oh, my God.
This one's already pretty hefty.
Oh, this one's named Walker.
Oh. It looks like he lost, doy. I'm woke. this one's already pretty hefty oh this one's named walker oh clinton's had the bear killed it's wearing a mask yeah so what was the deal oh this one's
gonna be good this is gonna be good wait what yeah he spilled out. Look at that big boy.
A seagull?
I feel like that bear just hit puberty.
Totally different color.
It just finally turned into a man bear.
All right.
Wait, what's this bear's name?
Bear looks like a moose or something.
Oh, that's a fat boy.
Pretty thick.
That bear's got a little hump there.
That's a weak one.
That's thick. Okay. No, he's fat boy. Pretty thick. He's got a little hump there. That's a weak one. That's thick.
Okay.
No, he's fat already.
Great build.
He came out of the hibernation fat.
What?
He looks like he's lost weight.
He got a haircut?
He got a hair cut?
Yeah.
Yeah, it looks like he got a buzz.
Bears are awesome.
Oh, this one's going to be good.
God, bears are good.
428.
Have you ever seen one?
Not great.
It's kind of scary. All ass. There's no seen one? Not great. It's kind of scary.
All ass.
There's no real good ones this year.
What's going on?
They're chill animals.
Salmon shortage, maybe?
Here we go.
Holly.
Holly's big fat.
Whoa.
Holly.
Holly.
Thank you.
Going through a breakup or something.
Holly's a beautiful person.
Stu Feiner would have some bad things to say about her.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That commercial has been coming on
I haven't seen it in so long
That's a piss poor bear
You can see ribs
That wouldn't kill me
Holly looks like the winner right now
Yeah, Holly and I think the second bear
A big 747
Pretty good
You got fat as fuck
It'd be funny if there was just
we kept on scrolling.
It was just me
before and after the football season.
Like what the fuck?
Oh, that's a good one.
He looks so sad.
Can we make one of these?
Like hates would be crazy.
Yeah.
Kyle, like when you were a hefty.
You were hefty?
I was hefty?
No, Kyle was.
I was junior.
I was chubbyby then i got skinny
oh that's pretty good that's cute yeah it's a little cutie
looks very soft all right go back to two i want to see yeah the second one between number two
that thing's a tank dude oh yeah i think it's good
i think it might be Holly.
I think this is a great picture of him.
Grazer.
Oh, Grazer.
No, look at Grazer.
Grazer looks like you put him in your back pocket.
He might have quadrupled in size.
Grazer's enormous.
Problem is, it's rigged.
What?
So 747, I believe, is the one that's nicknamed Bear Force 1,
and people just fall in love with that.
Whoever gets the best name wins.
I mean, that is Bear Force 1 is a great name.
Wait, this is Bear Force 1?
I mean, he's a fat bear.
He's a fat bear.
But there's some years where.
I like that he looks kind of embarrassed.
Bear 747 is a large adult with a blocky muzzle and floppy ears.
Oh!
I didn't get it yet.
I didn't get it either.
Yay!
I don't have it.
I don't have it either.
Oh!
Where's the alert, though?
I'm only getting it.
I'm not getting it.
How long does it go on?
I don't know.
Yeah. That was right. Wow. That was exhilarating. I'm only getting it I'm not getting it how long does it go on I don't know wow
that was exhilarating
did you feel that go through your brain waves
any zombies
alright we're all unvaxxed
very exciting
alright
against my better judgment
TJ I'm sending you a picture when
i was fat oh what i was fat i'm going to instantly regret this but i'm going to instantly regret oh
i can't picture you fat well you're about to you're about to see a huge turnoff for me man
you're about to see it yeah i know you're about to see it but this i don't know i don't know if this is good or bad
for me what age this was this was this was yeah i'd been out of college a couple years very depressed
like rock bottom yeah yeah no you were like after oh my god
it looks like a filter i know a lot of dudes that look like that.
Yeah.
I think he looks good.
Very, very Ohio.
How long did it take you to lose that much weight?
Like eight months, I'd say.
What did you do?
Just stop eating?
Yeah, just stop being a piece of shit.
That's basically how I did it.
Stopping eating. I don't know picture never mentioned on the podcast no or my au team if you want to have me on part of my take I love
to talk about that too do you ever miss being like eating whatever you want yes all the time
powerful too I'm still a fat man at heart that's what I'm like you can catch me Love to talk about that, too. Do you ever miss eating whatever you want? Yes, all the time. You're probably so powerful, too.
I'm still a fat man at heart.
You can catch me.
Yeah, we go to a certain con.
I go get barbecue, especially.
It comes out, and I'll house barbecue.
Do you miss your power?
Yeah, I do.
Yeah, because you looked powerful.
You could move a car.
I'm a scrawny little bitch now.
Yeah.
Was your fattest, Brandon, at Barstool like three years ago?
I think my fattest is right now.
No.
You don't think so?
No.
My fattest has been at Barstool.
I know that.
I was always too skinny.
I didn't get fat until like the last five years.
When have you been too skinny?
High school.
I look like a fucking skeleton.
Really?
You look like a school shooter.
I'm a fucking skeleton.
I was 6'5". I was this height. I got to see this now. And I like a fucking skeleton. Really? You look like a school shooter. I'm a fucking skeleton. I was 6'5".
I was this height.
I got to see this now.
And I had a bowl haircut.
I got to see these pictures.
You have big time Dylan Cleaver vibes.
Why are school shooters never fat?
There was a four-month gap where I was a decent-looking guy.
I went from too skinny to too fat in that four-month gap.
Oh!
That's like a bad school shooter.
The gun would jam.
Look at that. That guy's really good. Look at that The gun would jam. Look at that.
That guy's from the episode.
Look at that jawline.
I've never seen that.
Oh, my God.
Look at that jawline.
You would be scooped to be like a model.
Who do you know in that picture?
Who's the guy you knew?
The guy with the hat left or right?
Yeah, the guy to the left.
That's my friend Scott Brentz.
This guy?
On your phone.
The guy with the hat?
We fell off.
The guy to my left in the hat.
The fat guy. That's Bucky what? No, that's Scott Brentz. That's not Bucky Cox. That's not Bucky Cox. The guy with the hat? We fell off. The guy to my left in the hat. The fat guy.
That's Bucky what?
No, that's Scott Brentz.
That's not Bucky Cox.
That's not Bucky Cox.
Who is the Vietnamese dude?
No, it's just me and him.
We rode together.
I had the tickets and he had the car.
I love it.
This wasn't the window that you said you were good looking.
No, this was February 15th, 1999.
We went to Monday Night Raw.
When was the good looking window?
Between about... I think you're good-looking window? Between about...
I think you're good-looking now.
Between about January 2005 and September 2005.
I met my wife in August 2005.
That'll do it.
I was about 6'5", 210.
I was exactly where I needed to be.
When we did our 24-hour fast, like three years ago on the Yak,
I remember you were a bigger we did our 24 hour fast like three years ago on the yak yeah i remember you were a bigger boy was i was that big then i think so yeah i might have peaked out around uh like
right after covid maybe i might i might have peaked out about then but i'm like 270 now i did
start working out yesterday you did work out yesterday i walked two miles nice that's awesome
my steps in that's awesome i'm proud of you. Tommy, were you ever fat?
I've been pudgy.
Yeah.
Like when I, a few months into being full-time at Barstool, definitely a very fat face.
Yep.
I moved to New York, started drinking, like going out on the weekends and the food and
yeah.
Happens.
Yeah.
In the initial stages of your relationship, were you like a hustle award boyfriend?
Yeah. No, I was a lot of, yeah you like a hustle award boyfriend? Yeah.
No, I was a lot of flowers.
I lived, the flowers by Shirley was across the street from my house, so I just had an
open tab and I would send them every week.
Did she make you work?
No, she didn't make me work, but I earned it.
Good for you.
I went out and got it.
A lot of dinners.
Oh, yeah.
Great notes.
Notes, sure.
Flowers, yeah. fresh picked flowers you straight
you courted this woman i courted her yeah yeah yeah how long until right you cried uh we dated
a year and then we got married engaged no no but how long until huh we dated a year and then we got
rewarded for the flowers we dated about a year oh it took a year i can say a lot of things on
the show i cannot tell you i'm not allowed to tell you when i fuck my wife for the flowers. We dated about a year. I can say a lot of things on this show. I cannot
tell you. I'm not allowed to tell you
when I fuck my wife for the first time.
You tell us every other time. Correct.
That's the one rule
you guys had.
We'll have to do one of those when they cut
open a tree to see how old it is.
I'm not supposed to talk about that.
See the rings on the dick?
I think a bisected dick would be,
that would be phobic.
Unless it's D'Amico,
right?
Carbon dating.
We're going to do some carbon dating on Brandon's dick real quick.
Oh man.
Okay.
In a restaurant,
our one year anniversary,
just got down on a knee and did it. Did cry yeah yeah did you cry no no i was very nervous i thought she might say no
really yeah you didn't talk about it before like you talked about it okay but still i was nervous
when that time comes yeah yeah did you ask her dad i did yeah was he enthusiastic or was he like
very excited you're like, beat your ass?
You're like ringing out your paperboy hat?
No, no.
I just took her out to a restaurant
and did it on her knee.
Nothing exciting.
That's exciting.
That is exciting.
In front of everybody?
At the restaurant?
At the restaurant, yeah.
Did they clap publicly?
They did clap, I think.
I don't know.
I kind of blacked out there as soon as it happened.
Have you been back to the restaurant?
It closed shortly thereafter. Oh. It didn't know. I kind of blacked out there as soon as it happened. Have you been back to the restaurant? It closed shortly thereafter.
It didn't last very long.
It's called IVs.
Letter I, letter V. IVs
in Tupelo.
It did not last long at all.
It was a nice restaurant.
I had a good filet that night.
Do you guys go back there and say
what is it now?
It's used as a parking lot for the Mexican restaurant. that night but it did do you guys go back there and say like this is like what is it now you know
it's used as a parking lot for the mexican restaurant oh you guys have to go back oh that's
perfect they cleared out the building and it's now your vows in the parking lot very successful
mexican restaurant though um what's it called i don't know i i don't want to say because there's
like five mexican restaurants in tupelo and i don't know which I don't want to say because there's like five Mexican restaurants in Tupelo,
and I don't know which one that is.
Only five names that they rotate.
Yeah.
La Fiesta's in Tupelo.
I don't think it's La Fiesta.
It's Mi Toro.
It's Mi Toro.
Mi Toro.
Yeah.
Sounds a little Japanese.
My bowl.
Yeah, Mi Toro.
It's pretty good.
Oh, sweet.
And she speaks Spanish, so every time we go into that Mexican restaurant,
she would talk to the waiter.
I was always paranoid that they were talking about me.
They weren't.
She shouldn't unveil that she knows Spanish.
She should.
Oh, she gives, yeah.
Well, I make her do it.
Well, no, I would want to see if they're talking.
She keeps going there just so she can vent.
I don't know if they're making plans for later.
Like, I don't know how it works.
I agree, Nick.
You should play that as close to the chest as you can.
It would be the coolest thing ever to be like go somewhere
and have people speak English around you not realizing you speak English.
So I have asked her.
She won't do it.
But it would be somewhere and the people next to us are talking Spanish.
I said, what are they saying?
She said, I'm not going to listen.
So she's a good person. You just can't turn't being on an elevator and two people are talking shit about you and then
as you're getting off the elevator you turn around and just say something to them oh i speak english
that'd be so cold god that'd be cool that'd be cool i don't think anyone would see anyone on
this show and not think that we don't speak english like we wouldn't be able to go we'd
stick out like you can't go to
France and have people be like,
he's French.
I could maybe fit in in Israel.
Yeah.
Very well.
Yeah.
Alright, Tommy, should we head out?
Sure.
Should we get in the yak?
I'll do whatever you tell me.
We've got a yak tomorrow.
The best part about the yak is we have a –
Oh, what – are we set for that corn maze?
Oh, the one that Plan B?
No, there's someone who reached out to us in –
Yeah, it was like two hours away.
Yeah, it's in Wisconsin.
By your place?
If that's fine. Yeah, I think we could do it. We, it's in Wisconsin. By your place? If that's fine.
Yeah, I think we could do it. We just gotta figure out which
day in October that we go up. We'll do
the Yak from there, and then we'll
tape the video. Well, can we do it the day
before the Wisconsin game?
We could do that. Yeah, why don't we do the 12-hour stream?
Do that. Go to Brandon's camp out in the
back.
It's not that hard. How did that become available?
A year and a half ago when we hit 100k on YouTube.
We need to just get
people, please subscribe. Everyone's
all the rage is subscribing. I feel
like we need to do a subathon. TJ basically
did a 12 hour stream by himself.
Just out of nowhere. Well, you stopped in, right?
Have we done that?
Subscribe if you're watching right now.
TJ, that 12
hour stream, Titus stopped in, right? He did. Anybody else stopped? Subscribe if you're watching right now. I want to do a V- DJ. That 12-hour stream, Titus stopped in, right?
He did.
Anybody else?
No.
Oh.
I was not expected to stop in.
I just called in.
I wasn't either.
I just-
Keep the tabs on.
I just thought it was the right thing.
The guy was suffering, right?
I lived two hours away from him.
I was left for 11 and a half hours.
I was asleep for nine hours.
Well, YouTube is kind of
fucky with 12 hour streams.
If you stream consecutively for 12 hours,
it deletes the VOD instantly once you stop the stream.
Oh, so that's why we can't do it.
So if you go 11.55, you're fine, but if you go 12,
that video has to be pulled.
We can't fucking do it. God damn it.
Let's do an 11.55.
Did you do 12?
No, I just did 11.55. You knew enough?
It's crazy.
Alright, we'll plan that.
I want to do the corn maze.
I think it'd be great.
Maybe the week after surviving Barstool,
because it's our last week that we're stuck in this place.
The tech guys are already putting their arms up
about reserving them for anything that week, but...
Okay.
I will talk to them.
So then maybe not.
I will tell you.
We got to talk to the pharmacy,
what they're available for.
Tech guys are...
I'm not going to...
Yeah, because they're building the office.
Yeah, the tech guys are –
Oh, that's a good point.
Yeah.
No, that's a very fair point.
Very fair point.
I'll talk to them.
Okay.
All right.
We'll see everyone tomorrow.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye. It's the act Get your straws, yeah Style a tape for a while
It's the act
It's the act
It's the act
Yeah, it's time to talk shop
We're doing Yankee Swap
It's the act
It's the act See you tomorrow, bye.