The Yak - Big Cat's Official Mile Time REVEALED | The Yak 4-12-23
Episode Date: April 12, 2023F*ck Ian BarrettYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right.
Hello.
Do I have a post runners glow?
You have a runner's high.
Yeah.
So they didn't tell me runner's high is just my lungs burning that that I'm coughing nonstop, and my legs feel like they have cement in them.
Other than that, I love running.
Roback, roback.com.
I'm wearing the joggers right now.
Use code YAK.
So is Roan.
Promo code YAK.
Roback.com for a generous 20% off your first purchase through the end of this week.
Go check them out.
Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, everything.
Roback.com, promo code YAK.
20% off your first purchase.
I'm wearing the joggers right now.
They're very comfortable.
Go check them out right now.
Roback.
Roback.
How's everyone doing?
I'm doing damn good.
I want to hear about you, dude.
Yeah.
What the hell happened?
You like your Bulls jacket right now?
Bulls jacket, Bulls hat, Bulls bullshit.
It's a fucking play-in day.
Texting the squad.
Texting everybody.
You know what I mean?
Fired up.
It's Bulls time.
It's Bulls season.
Back on our bullshit.
Ooh.
We are.
I have a suggestion.
Take the shirts.
Take the shirts for today's show.
Funny business?
A little funny business.
All right.
Goofs and gaffs.
But also,
John Rezesnik
is going to be in
for Robbie's show.
He's the Goo Goo Doll.
Goo Goo Dolls?
He's the Goo Goo Doll.
Oh!
Robbie Fox is sick.
We might have
a homeless doll.
Oh, he's got to come
on this show.
He's got to come
on to the show.
Yeah, yeah, no,
he'll come on this show.
That's one of my
middle school crushes.
Oh, shit.
Like, big time.
All right, well,
play it cool, Kate. He's not nearly deformed enough, Kate. Oh, shit. Like, big time. All right, well, play it cool, Kate.
He's not nearly deformed enough, Kate.
Oh, my God.
Kate, we will try to be your wingman.
Should I take off my shirt?
Not yet.
What if he sings Iris to you, Kate?
Oh, my God.
Buddy, I'm going to slide.
I'm going to slide all over this.
Yeah, we got to get the doll in here.
That's the case.
When is he supposed to come in?
I don't know.
I just heard, but I think he's coming in to do a Zoom interview with Robbie
because I think Robbie's sick.
Okay, all right, so we'll get him in.
We'll prep him for Robbie.
I've never met a Goo Goo Doll.
I haven't either.
Wait, wait.
No, I have never.
You haven't?
No, I thought I did.
I thought I met the drummer.
Do you think he'd like us?
I don't know.
Of us.
Him singing in the rain in Buffalo.
That's the only thing I'm thinking of.
Yeah, he grabs the camera.
He's like, get the crowd, not me.
What are the Goo Goo Dolls hits?
I need some best moments of Goo Goo Dolls
because they're not really-
Black Balloon, name, slide, name.
Maybe Black Balloon made her fly.
I used to call it a cue on a tune.
What's the album called?
A Boy Named Goo?
I think so.
Yeah.
Does Slide go again?
Why don't you slide?
And I'll be anything
you ever need
to be complete
that's Pete Piney's rock
and if they say
there's nothing
at all
that's awesome
Robbie gets the guess
Robbie gets the guess
and they love Robbie
I hope I didn't
spoil anything
definitely did
the band
All Time Low
went out of their way
to come over to him
the other day
and say they were
big fans
who
the lead singer
of All Time Low of Nick you yes he came over to him the other day and say they were big fans. Who? The lead singer of All Time Lowe.
Of Nick?
You?
Yes.
He came over.
He was like, I just want to say, really big fan of you.
Hell yeah, Nick.
I know.
I was like, hop on the yak.
And he was like trying to convince the guys to skip Good Morning America on the yak.
Oh.
The manager wasn't.
We're bigger than that.
They were so nice.
They were awesome.
They were cool guys.
When was this?
A couple days ago.
Yeah, a couple days ago.
It's fucking awesome.
What the hell?
I don't know.
We don't have to play my mile video.
We have to play the mile video.
Get back to the mile.
What the hell happened?
Is it out?
What happened?
I haven't really been on my phone.
It's not out.
I didn't even run it.
Bullshit.
I saw a picture of you on the bench doing the Popeye slant.
I was.
I was.
I just want to make the chat get really upset
because they all were like,
oh, he's not even going to run it.
He's a fucking pussy.
You jumped to the fucking occasion right away yesterday.
You could have waited.
Where'd you run?
It was in Harlem.
So actually, that's a good way to start it.
What was this park called?
Thomas Jefferson.
Actually, I don't know.
Maybe we should just play it
and then I can explain We had an all time
Che moment
All time Che moment
Yeah let's get it going
Why Che is my
Ride or die guy
Does anyone want
Predictions before we
He started running
With you
No
It's better than that
Something with
Showing up at the wrong park
No no no
Time predictions
Time predictions as well
Alright going off
Of your mood
You can bluff, though.
I would say 8.50 is mine.
9.12.
8.32.
I want to see the chat, too.
Fuck that Ian Barrett.
Yeah, let's see what Ian Barrett said.
Ian, call in.
That bitch.
I want him to call.
If I'm able to beat this, I want an apology video from him.
He's in chat.
Okay, good.
Yeah, I'm thinking you can get mid-eights.
Sass is here.
You should be able to get eight.
15 minutes.
Fucking gasquatch.
I will say this.
Before we watch the video, I maintain that I could not run a 10K.
That is a different beast.
I was very tired tired What happened afterwards?
Did you throw up?
No, I didn't throw up
I just was winded
I was tired
I had a cough
TJ, I drove back
TJ heard it
I sounded like I had been smoking cigarettes for 50 years
The way I was coughing in the car
Probably good for you, get that out
Then I got out of the car. Probably good for you. Get that out. Yeah. Get that stuff out.
Then I got out of the car, and my knees almost buckled,
like you're getting double bounced on the trampoline.
I was like, oh, jeez.
The walk backwards up the stairs.
Dealing with that.
But, yeah, let's play it.
Let's fucking play it, TJ.
Let's show the haters whether they're right or wrong.
If I can run a mile under 10 minutes.
Okay.
This is going to suck. I'm going to be in a lot of
pain, but I'm going to prove
all the haters that think I'm so fat
I'm old school Barstool vibe.
Yeah.
I ran a sweatshirt.
I am overweight.
I am fat, but as a man
you should be able to find a better way and get up and run a mile.
And anyone who can't do this, I'm talking to you, commenters, you are fatter than me.
You're more of a piece of shit than me.
So this is nice of you to do it.
And we're going to run this.
Even if I fuck up and I fail, we're still going to run this.
So you'll have your last laugh, but you won't because I'm fast.
All right. Go on your go. still going to run this. So you'll have your last lap, but you won't, because I'm fast. Alright.
Go on your go.
It's like Q without the E.
Fast without the S.
Good?
Good.
3, 2, 1, go.
Let's go.
Oh, yeah, it's done.
Look at me.
The speed. So yeah, it's done. Look at me.
The speed.
So what is your thought?
So, yeah, you want to pause real quick?
I told Steven very clearly.
So we looked up on the track.
It's a quarter-mile track online.
It says that.
Google says that. I said, Steven, I want to run a 140, a 150, a two-minute,
and then just go as fast as I can.
That was my plan.
Okay. Okay. How many did you say? It's a quarter-minute, and then just go as fast as I can. That was my plan. Okay.
How many did you say?
It's a quarter-mile track that says online.
So you only have to go four times.
Four times.
I thought you said five times.
Four times.
So what were your goals again?
I'm sorry.
140, 150, two minutes.
Go as fast as you can.
Go as fast as I can.
It would be like somewhere in like the eights. And I ran a warm-up lap before the camera started that was like 140-ish, and I was running
decently hard.
I shouldn't have done that in retrospect.
Were you striving for a specific time?
I was just trying to prove the haters wrong.
All right, go back to it.
It's been a minute since the haters have been wrong. My only nerve
was that I was going to go too
fast and my body would break.
Yeah, that you would fall apart.
Like an old Corvette in your
garage. Like a Challenger
spaceship. The O-ring
bursts and all of a sudden I'm just
in flames. Yep, a bunch of students
watch their teachers go. Yeah, exactly.
Okay, go ahead, TJ.
In this case, it would be us.
You're our teacher.
Good form, though.
Smooth.
Very smooth.
Thank you.
Damn, you still haven't hit that turn yet.
He doesn't die in 30 seconds.
Deceiving.
He just did the side in 25.
He's good.
Passing that guy.
Yeah, I smoked that guy.
35.
Too fast.
Well, that was the first lap, 35 seconds.
No, no, no, that was half of the first lap.
Oh, okay.
Look at these.
Oh.
It's a good way to shape.
Beautiful day at the park.
That's fun.
Where are you going to show that off?
Those might be weighted hula hoops.
I had a nice pace, though.
Felt good.
Oh, you can't see.
Wait.
There he is.
Connor, Steven.
Oh, I didn't know that was Connor.
All right.
Smooth.
Smooth.
What's Steve saying? I'm going a minute now all right so i should probably say it right here so pause it real quick so 120 was my first lap
when i first got to the track i saw a guy who was walking around the track who looked like he
walks around the track every single day and i was like hey how big is this track and he was like 0.2 of a mile
no it's not and then i was like okay cool and then i googled it it said a quarter mile and i was like
oh well he must be wrong then i did the first lap in a minute 20, and I was like, no, no, no. He was right. I was wrong.
I got to run five of these.
So it is a.2. Yes, it's.2.
So I was like totally –
I thought I was the fastest man in the world at this point.
I was like, I've never been faster.
This is incredible.
But something wasn't adding up in my head.
And we'll keep going, and then we'll get to the Steven part.
What do you say, Steven?
We'll get to it. Okay, yeah, yeah. Steven, none of this – you're like my best friend in the Steven part. What do you say, Steven? We'll get to it.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Steven, none of this, you're like my best friend in the whole world.
He thinks it's a quarter?
Yeah, we'll keep going.
Fast.
First lap time?
Minute 20.
We got to worry about fatigue now.
Oh, he's slowing down. He's slowing down a lot. He is slowing down a lot. Take your time. We got to worry about fatigue now. Oh, he's slowing down.
He's slowing down a lot.
He is slowing down a lot.
Take your time.
You got it.
Is somebody else just cheering you on too?
Black woman?
I heard a black woman.
There was like an old women hula hoop club in the middle of the track.
He beat his first lap goal by 20 seconds.
Who the hell builds a.2 mile track?
Dude, it was pissing me off because I was using my Apple Watch too.
Running is so mental that that's enough to really.
Because I thought I was going to break.
We're going to do a six minute mile.
I was going to do a six-minute mile.
I was like, how is this possible?
Am I the fastest man alive?
I want to be in that hula hoop class.
Yeah, no, it looked beautiful day.
Beautiful day.
It looks relaxing on your end, too.
It does.
A nice, easy pace.
Connor getting low angles.
I was trying to slow down because I thought I was going too fast and I was going to be fucked.
Connor just zooms past you like a cameraman on Cops.
The birds are chirping, the tulips, the trees.
Is that a cherry blossom?
You hear Steven saying, I'm smashing my goal.
I was.
Two laps?
Two laps.
So right now, if it was a quarter-mile track, I'd be under six-minute pace.
Were you still feeling pretty good at this point, or was it hitting you?
I was feeling okay.
Not great.
But I didn't really, like, I didn't slow down that much. I heard to the sub-six, but we're not going to tell him that.
Oh.
I didn't know if Steven was Editorial
He's not your best friend
See
He had the doubts
So I was doing it on my Apple Watch too
And this is where I start looking at my Apple Watch
And I was like wait
I'm only like halfway done here
This doesn't make sense
So I realized like right around here That when I looked at my Apple watch, it said a half mile done.
And I was like, I got to do five laps.
335.
340.
I'm fucking cruising, dude.
Oh.
Great job, Steven.
And this is what people can get it in Right?
People can get it in 350?
Yeah, 347 I think is the mile record
Insane
That's just a sprint
And you're about halfway at this point?
I just finished halfway
Just finished halfway
Oh, that's
Hey, you're on
It's still good pace
I said 832, I think I said 915 I just finished halfway. Just finished halfway. Oh, that's good. Hey, you're on. It's still good pace.
I said 8.32, I think.
I said 9.15.
I'm a hater.
Maybe I said 9.15. So this is where Stephen is still like, this is your last lap.
Head to the tank.
So this is where the doubt started creeping in when I started looking at my Apple Watch.
Oh, Stephen thinks you can get sub six to finish.
Oh, Steven thinks you can get sub six?
With that pace?
No offense.
This is where I, Steven is my best friend in the entire world because the whole time he's like, it's a quarter mile.
And he's like, you, you just crush this.
Like you're the, you're the, you're an amazing human being.
You're seeing that pace and you're saying you can get a sub six.
And I'm in my head.
I'm like, I'm looking at my Apple Watch.
It says that it's not, this isn't like me rounding the turn for the end of the mile.
But Steven's like, you got this.
Under six minutes, you're an incredible athlete and human.
I love him so much because he, you could do anything,
and Steven would be like, you're incredible.
Well, so two things.
One is it is documented that this is.25 miles.
It does say it online.
There was another woman who was very clearly
a track runner that was warming up
and I asked her, I said, how far is this?
She's like, I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure it's
400 meters. 400 meters
is.249
miles, so that makes sense.
So the only frame of reference we have here is this dude walking around
and an Apple Watch, which honestly I don't trust.
I trusted him because it looked like he goes there every single day,
and he confidently said it's.2 miles.
You don't trust the Apple Watch, Steve?
I trust the Apple Watch as well because I started it right when I started,
and I ended it right when I hit a mile.
Oh, no, I'm saying I don't trust the Apple Watch.
Oh, okay.
Why not? So this is where Stephen thought I finished a 5.55 mile.
5.58.
So I was like, fuck this.
I knew that I would get roasted if I stopped.
I have to do five laps.
So I did five laps.
One more lap.
Pure instinct.
Pure instinct.
Because I knew.
I was like, this is going to be a disaster if I stop right now and everyone's going to
be like, you didn't run a mile.
You thought you ran a sub-six mile.
I never thought I ran a sub-six mile.
I said, I'm going to go until my Apple Watch says an exact mile.
And the guy who said it, he said.2.
And we asked him again after, and he was like, yeah, it's.2.
I don't know.
I appreciate you just having my back.
I can't run a sub-six mile.
It's like actually documents.
The place that we got it from is a running website that tracks all these places.
How would that be even shorter than that?
Maybe I did run a sub-six mile.
I mean, you haven't slowed down at all.
Oh, I kept a pace.
I was cruising the whole time
I felt good
Ed Sheeran got in
Yeah that's what's doing
Everyone should be able to run a mile
First lap you were like a 9.5
The rest of them you were at like an 8
But that was still pretty fast
This is the point that I'm trying to prove
To the commenters and the haters
And Ian Barrett that fat fuck show face, you have like 17 chins.
I am overweight, but everyone should be able to, as an inner competitor, be able to run a mile.
Well, let's see what you get, too.
So, my official time is 7.24.
Holy shit!
7.24!
Oh my god!
And my Apple Watch said a mile.
No way!
That's a mile.
You don't believe me?
Seven and a half?
It's not that hard.
So, all you haters watching right now, suck my dick from the back.
Wow.
Roan, what was that face for?
This shit is not hard. Oh.
The one who convinced us that it was
was Lil Sasquatch.
He just doesn't know. He runs in
like vans. He runs
in. Yeah, I did have a little.
Do you think people will dispute this time?
Of course they will, because the haters
are never satisfied. That's pretty fast.
That's pretty.
I think you're a hater.
Are you a hater?
Yeah, I just want this to go down your way.
I don't want this to end poorly.
And then I Googled it, and I was like, no, it says.25.
I looked at my Apple Watch, and I stopped at a mile.
I mean, I asked that woman who's running, and she said it's 400 meters.
400 meters is.24.
Google does say it's a quarter-mile track.
But I don't trust Google. So at the very worst. Look, this is a guy. Yeah. say it's a quarter mile track. How long did you say this track was?
I don't trust Google.
So at the very worst.
Look, this is a guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
.2 of a mile.
I don't get your math with the 400 meters, though.
Five loops.
There we go.
All right.
See?
That's the guy.
Five loops.
Five loops.
That's the guy who walks that track every day.
So that's, I mean, there's just no way I ran a five.
Five fifty-eight.
No chance.
I, seven, what was it? Seven twenty-four? You destroyed everyone's pretty good. I destroyed everyone's pretty good. I ran a 5. No chance. 7, what was it?
7.24?
You destroyed everyone's pretty good.
I destroyed everyone.
I was fucking going.
You've seen a mile race.
Shut up, haters.
Little Sasquatch gaslit me, dude.
In what way?
I was thinking that.
Play the entire video again.
I missed count.
I was over there.
Is that fast?
Because I was planning on running.
What happened? What, did you do it? I don't think he's done. Yeah, I did it. I was over there. Is that fast? Because I was planning on like running. What happened?
What did you do it?
I don't think he's done.
Yeah, I did it.
That's his time.
Yeah, there's no way.
No fucking way.
724.
Spanx.
Spanx.
Did it in Spanx.
Spanx athlete.
Oh.
No way. No way.
No way.
This shirt is now on sale in the Barstool store.
Show your face.
Fuck you, Barrett.
Show your face, fat ass.
Show your face, fat ass.
It's in the store.
I'm not in good shape, but as a man, you got to be able to get up and run a mile fast.
And that's what I did.
724.
Suck my dick, haters.
Suck it.
Suck it from the back.
Damn, did you actually do it in 7.24?
Wow.
Congrats, dude.
Did you show the Google of the track?
And I'm fat.
And I'm fat.
Did he?
Hey, how are you?
Ian Barrett.
EB doesn't believe me.
I think that's a crazy time.
That's super impressive.
Thank you.
I don't know if I believe you, but I do believe you because you're my fucking brother.
I'm going to have to go do it again. I'm going to have to go do it again.
I'm going to have to fucking do it again.
We're going to have to find another track.
No, you did it.
Play the video from the beginning.
Either you did that or you did it faster.
Because it's either a mile or...
Right.
There you go.
Buy those shirts.
Fuck you, Ian Barrett.
Let's sell 18 of these, please.
Yeah, let's sell 18 of those.
Ian Barrett better buy one of those.
He definitely will. Now we can move on.
Listen, now I'm never going to run
another mile for another 5-10
years until someone challenges me again
and then I'll do it and then that'll be it.
The second you need to start
running regularly is when you can't do it.
Right.
Running sucks. I feel like shit.
My body hurts.
You guys should all run a mile. It's not that hard. Probably good for your
heart. It's not that hard. It's really
not that hard. I've run every day for the past
couple weeks. Yeah. Seriously?
I'm not
making fun of Mince until I beat his time.
There we go. I could never
run a 10K. I'll say that right now. 10K?
I can't do a 10K. I could never run a 10K. My'll say that right now. 10K? I can't do a 10K.
I could never run a 10K.
My knees are bad.
I had to quit country in high school.
Aj could slaughter.
Could never run a 10K.
What's up, Seth?
What's up?
Now we can go on with the show.
Yeah.
I proved my point.
Fuck yeah.
It's a track.
Looks little.
That's big.
You can do the math. Looks little there. It's really track. Looks little. That's big. You can do the math.
Looks little there.
It's really little there.
What does it say on Google?
Wear it off.
It says.25 on a runner's website.
There's no way that it's.25.
I could never run an under six.
I mean, maybe you could.
In my best shape, I ran a six-minute mile when I was doing CrossFit in my 20s.
Maybe he's crazy.
What do you think is more likely to be wrong?
We both have sources saying one or the other.
An Apple Watch or a runner's website that tracks all these places?
I think I'm just trusting the guy who looks like he goes to that track every single day,
and he was like five loops.
Dude, the track person gave it to us in different metrics.
But that guy, he barely spoke English. He's like five loops. Dude, the track person gave it to us in different metrics. But that guy, he barely spoke English.
He's like five loops.
That guy is the truth.
I appreciate you, Steven.
You are a great friend to still think I ran an under six-minute mile.
I can tell you my body can't go that fast.
How many loops did you do?
Five.
Five?
As the guy said, he was like five loops. 0.2 mile.
And your Apple Watch corroborated that.
So it's all...
It said your Apple Watch said a mile.
Yeah, a mile.
Oh, then yeah, that's what it was.
No, Stephen doesn't believe in Apple Watches.
He doesn't trust them.
Why?
I don't know.
Things are accurate as fuck.
I just want to say, it's like a computer shaking the entire time.
You think it's accurate?
No way.
They're built for people to run.
It's not like he's the first person to run with Apple Watch.
It's a computer shaking. It's not like he's the first person to run with a computer.
It's a computer shaking.
It's a computer shaking.
You think a running website
that tracks...
Dude, the Apple Watch
is better than a website.
Who made the website?
Dude, it tracks every, like,
running path in this city.
There's no way that thing's wrong.
Yes, there is.
By that much, like, 20%?
Yes, there is.
So you think Big Cat ran a 625 mile?
No, a 558.
I did not run a 558.
Let's put on a 558 mile.
It's so fast.
And let's watch what their pace is.
It's so fast.
That's the only other way to do it is having you get on a treadmill for six minutes.
What's the pace on the treadmill for a 558?
10.
10?
No, yeah.
That wasn't running a 10.
10 is your sprint. It wasn't running a 10. What's a 7 on the treadmill for a 5.58? 10? No, yeah. I wasn't running a 10. 10 is your sprint.
I wasn't running a 10.
What's a 7.24?
Like 8?
Even 8 is fast.
But that's not like...
Every now and then I'll go on the treadmill, I'll walk, and then just sprint a little.
When I'm sprinting, I'm at like 7.
Really?
It's full body for me.
That's as much as I can handle.
Just under 8.
7.94.
Yeah.
Damn.
That's fast as fuck. Oh, good. I should 8, 7.94. Yeah. Damn, that's fast as fuck.
Oh, good.
I should have just kept on running.
Athlete.
Thank you.
You should have just done the 10K.
You could.
No, don't do this. Let's not do this.
If you didn't even know and you're like the fucking fastest person on earth, that would be crazy.
Right?
Impossible.
That would be nuts.
Extremely possible. I've never been a man faster.
I haven't.
You're the fastest person I know. That's a cough.
I bet that rustles up
all sorts of stuff. It's bad.
It's probably nice. I'm going to start to lose my voice.
Yeah, probably a good thing. You're going to be shitting out tar
tonight. Does everything
give you diarrhea? Yeah. Sass, what is... How is Out of're going to be shitting out tar tonight. Does everything give you diarrhea? Yeah.
Sass, what is... How is
Out of Order going to be?
We were just working on
one of them. What time is it
drop? I had to get in the lab, get my hands dirty.
What time is it drop? It should be seven.
Okay. Does that mean you had to get your hands
dirty? I had to tweak some stuff. Correct.
Yeah. Yeah. There was just one
that I knew had more potential than
it was at. And the edit was?
Yeah. And we fixed that shit
with a little bit of help from Nicky
doing a voiceover too.
Nick.
We need you to record something else after too.
It'll take like four seconds.
How'd I do? It was great. You're phenomenal
at it and it was so funny hearing you do it because we were just listening
to the raw footage and after every single one you go, no I can do better was great. You're phenomenal at it. And it was so funny hearing you do it because we were just listening to the raw footage. Yeah.
And after every single one, you go, no, I can do better than that.
Yeah.
That's the best thing about voice acting.
You're your biggest problem.
Yeah.
It's the running of acting.
What's up, boys?
That ain't a goo-goo.
Buckmiller Automatic.
What?
Buckmiller Automatic something.
Weapons? what the fuck
Hank he's ready for
And he was like what do we do we have to coordinate face paint and he's oh we should pick this
I've already have a bunch of ideas for my face paint. Oh, yeah, we should pick face bit. He's pumped like him in here
He's buzzing the tower. Did we pick face paint last time random words?
No, Hank's got to do...
You want to do random word check?
We should use a different website, though.
Yeah, we should find some cool website.
You want to do the high noon ad?
Of course.
Of course I do.
I love high noon.
I actually plan to have some high noons tonight
while I watch the Bulls play against the Toronto Raptors.
But high noons are good for any occasion, especially when it's 78 degrees out, which it is today.
It's hot, but the perfect way to cool down is a nice, smooth, high noon, hard seltzer, real vodka, real juice, and sparkling water.
It's that simple, and it'll make you feel good today and tomorrow, if you know what I mean.
It's actually made with vodka, not with malt like other hard seltzers.
And High Noon Hard Seltzer is the perfect refreshing drink for a day like today.
Heck, even get yourself a big can.
Peach or pineapple are available right now.
Or you can get some grapefruit.
Grapefruit's just always sweet and delicious.
High Noon full-time flavors are pineapple, black cherry, watermelon, grapefruit, lime, peach,
etc., etc. All you need to know
is it's 100 calories no matter which one
you choose, no gluten no matter which one
you choose, and of course there's never any
added sugar. So look for them on Drizzly or
at your local convenience or liquor store or
visit highnoonspirits.com
to find it near you.
The chat is being unbelievably
cringe currently.
Why?
They're saying the guy said it was 200 meters,
which that's just not true if you look at the track.
That's not 200 meters.
That can't be possible.
You can't give a voice.
Also, someone just tweeted me a Reddit thread about this.
Thomas Jefferson Park from RunNYC,
and they said,
sorry if this subject is subreddit-tired of, but for a while I've been under the assumption
that each lap was 400 meters, 0.25.
But I recently downloaded the Strava app and it's consistently reported 0.21 miles per lap.
So instead of four, it's five.
Yeah, so you did more.
No, I did five.
Five is the correct amount.
0.21 means you did an extra 0.05.
Got it.
But either way, five is the correct amount? 0.21 means you did an extra 0.05. Got it. But either way, five is the correct amount.
God damn.
They're saying
that's 200 meters?
What a damn fool.
Steven, do you trust
Strava, the Strava app?
I've never heard
of that app before,
but there was
a legitimate track person
there that said 400 meters.
What's a legitimate
track person?
Someone who rhymes
with track. Like a high school or college track athlete. What's a legitimate track person? Someone who runs a track.
Like a high school or college track athlete.
He's a track person.
No, I mean this person is running.
200 meters is so short.
That's crazy.
1.25, yeah.
Yeah, no, it's not that.
You can run 200 meters in 30 seconds.
Would you be fine if it's a six-lap mile track?
If it's six laps, then I still would have been a nine-minute mile.
I'm saying it is, yeah.
You got to go out and fucking...
I hope this is made right.
Were you losing steam at all?
Yeah, I was a little bit.
200 meters?
It's not.
There's no way.
Can you Google Earth it?
Can you do, like, the straightaways on, like... Somebody tell me how to measure the distance. People are saying you can do it? Can you do like the straightaways on like...
Somebody tell me how to measure the distance.
People are saying you can do it on Apple Maps.
Yeah, you can.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, let's do it.
On Google Earth?
Yeah.
Earth or Maps?
I think you can probably do it on both.
Eight laps, people are saying?
No, that's preposterous.
Stop giving these people a voice.
It's a bunch of Ian Barrett's.
They've already made me run a mile.
Ian Barrett's fucking armors. Ian Barrett's. They've already made me run a mile. All of Ian Barrett's fucking
armors burners.
Ian Barrett's probably not
going to buy the shirt
because his name's not Ian Barrett.
And he's probably poor.
He's probably poor, yeah.
Can't afford a shirt
from Barstool.
Not like you guys.
Not rich.
Shirt owners.
No shirt owners.
How would I buy all the shirts?
Yeah.
Yeah.
How would I buy
700 Ian Barrett shirts?
Does that sound Ian?
Yeah
If that isn't your real name
You got it?
This will break my heart
Oh man, this will break my heart
What is this?
This is a bit of an inexact science right here, too.
I'm not going to trust this if it says...
That's like the opposite ends of the track.
I want to go and do this right after.
Yeah.
Well, it's great because that track,
you can trick everyone into thinking it's a quarter mile
and you can run the fastest time in the world.
It's actually a joke track.
I feel like we could all do it.
I'm like, I could do it in my Jeep.
We could all do it.
Yes.
Running a mile is not hard.
Running a mile is not hard.
If you know you only have to run a mile, it's not hard.
It's like a reality check.
Five miles after that.
Did you figure it out, TJ?
I don't know.
People are just spamming.
Hold on. Right click. it out, TJ? I don't know. People are just spamming. Hold on.
Right click.
Right click, then what?
This could be bad.
Measure distance.
This could be bad.
Here we go.
You don't have to trace a path.
You want to measure it.
Click.
Oh, cool.
Oh.
This is sick.
Oh, wait.
Hold on.
Did you double it?
Oh.
Oh. Oh. Oh, wait. Hold on. Did you double it? Oh. Oh.
Oh.
Oh, cool.
Next time the Google Maps truck comes by, I'm going to have to pull out my dick.
Yeah.
Measure it.
Oh, I get it.
1,037 feet, so 5,280 feet is in a mile, so it's five laps.
Boom.
Boom.
There you go.
Fucking go.
Have some.
Take the L.
Take the L. Take the L like a man.
I just went and ran a mile for no reason to prove no one right, really.
I got owned by the comment section to be bullied into running a mile.
Take the L.
It was a close call.
I just wanted it to be exact.
I appreciate that.
Steven?
That's why I ran an extra lap, because I knew if I stopped, it would have been World War III. That's why I ran An extra lap Because I knew if I stopped
It would have been
World War 3
That's fine
I mean still 724
Is a pretty good time
It's a great time
Unfazed
Are you just going to
Take that big cat
Someone said that I ran
.9
.19 miles per lap
From the inside lane
Got to rerun the middle lane
Middle lane
Alright so add
15 seconds to my time.
No, because it was too...
You were going a little over anyway.
Yeah, I was all in the inside lane.
We're giving too much power to the...
Yeah.
What are the engineers saying?
We can have someone run it now
Stanko
Stanko would do it fast
Vibs would do it fast
Colleen
Oh yeah Colleen
She's running the Boston Marathon
What's in
I think she just runs marathons every day
She does a lot of marathons
She has one coming up like this weekend
Or next weekend
It was such bullshit when she
When we did the steps challenge
Yeah You would have won that If it wasn't for her Bro she was She has one coming up like this weekend or next weekend. It was such bullshit when we did the steps challenge.
Yeah.
You would have won that if it wasn't for her.
Bro, she was 40,000 steps in front of everyone else on day one.
The day off work just ran 45 miles.
Yeah.
Jeez.
Poor world of t-shirts.
He's in our thoughts.
What happened?
What did he say? The word again?
On his live last night, he was drunk
on some tequila, and they told him to jump in the Hudson
naked.
Hypothermia.
He's
invincible. He's the most
outside person. He's the most fine guy.
He's going to be doing that for
60 years. He got a guy to get his camera
and film him jumping in the Hudson, and the guy started
filming too late, so it was just to the end of the splash.
And then just him naked in the Mountain Dew-colored Hudson.
He's peaking right now.
That is brutal.
Where'd he jump in at?
He's turning into the Joker, too, because he dyed his hair green for St. Patrick's Day, and it just hasn't gone out.
Oh, my God.
And he's just always in Times Square still doing dances sometimes but sometimes getting fucked with
and sometimes fucking with people. He was
kicking a baby stroller.
Who is this?
Oh, has he gone bad?
He's gone. Oh, there's some amazing
Daniel Larson.
Oh my god, caught the end of it.
What is he doing? He just jumped in the Hudson
naked. Oh no. Is this the Hudson naked. Oh, no.
Is this the guy who...
Go to the next video.
He went dark.
Stomped the fish.
There's nothing you can't do.
Do you have eyeliner on?
God damn.
You see him get pissed when the Uber just canceled off?
Yeah, somebody was screaming throughout the street.
He's a menace.
He was licking Times Square yesterday.
Oh, no.
But he's like two videos away from getting a Balenciaga campaign.
Yeah.
How many likes I can't see do these all get?
They all have like 50,000.
Okay.
Better than me.
But honestly, he probably scrolls and checks his feedback less than a lot of people because he's just always putting out videos.
Right.
He's just flooding the zone.
That's the time zone.
Yeah.
He has a tour. Yeah. He should flood the zone. He has a tour.
Yeah. You should do the tour.
60 bucks. And you just
watch him do what he would do
regardless. You just follow him around?
It's called the World of T-Shirts Experience
East Village Tour. What do you know about his arch nemesis?
Daniel Larson. You guys know about
Daniel Larson? He's a separate menace from
California. He was in New York
walking around.
They both walk.
National security is on the phone with him.
He calls the CIA all the time, and he's like, yeah, he's...
He's like, I'm on the phone with Sony.
I got to see this dude.
Larson and...
Larson got punched in the face.
Yeah.
Six hours into being in New York, and Josh was making fun of him.
Yeah, Larson got punched in the face at the Indian Spices Market, right?
At the Indian Spices Market?
What the fuck?
New to the Larson.
They've been tracking both of their steps and they did cross paths.
Josh, World of T-Shirts walks like 25 miles a day.
He just, they track his path where he goes.
Can we see Larson?
Oh, Larson is.
You want to see Larson?
That's Larson.
This is Larson?
Yeah. That's likearson. This is Larson? Yeah.
That's a bizarre world, Pat.
Larson and World of T-Shirts
hate each other,
and somebody tweeted
when Larson and World of T-Shirts meet,
and it was that still
from Godzilla vs. Kong.
I need to get a taste of Larson.
Yeah, give us some Larson.
They're exactly the same.
Larson on the phone.
No, Larson's really paranoid.
He also is convinced that Grace VanderWaal from America's Got Talent is in love with him.
The ukulele girl.
Yeah, so he often says he's tracking her.
Is that from The Punch?
Yeah.
Is that a scar?
How do you guys know?
This video has 200 likes.
Where did you guys find him?
I guess he doesn't have his own account.
We're hip.
We're hip.
We're hip.
We're hip.
We're hip.
We're hip.
We're hip.
We're hip.
We're hip.
We're hip.
We're hip.
It's just all videos of people reposting his stuff.
Let me hear what the fuck he's talking about.
Dude, New York is my favorite genre.
This is what I look like after I got assaulted by two fans in New York City.
Two fans, did he say?
Classic fan behavior.
He always has a notification.
Fortunately, I don't have any fractures that I know of.
I did have a fairly...
Yeah, oh my God.
Yeah, he is really paranoid.
Yeah, because people are punching.
His fans are punching.
Yeah, rightfully so.
Yeah.
And he showed up to New York City.
Hey, what was that middle one in the top?
Wait, wait, wait.
What is that?
Him and World of T-Shirts hate each other.
This isn't a good man.
He has a dark past.
They have a King of the South thing going on, but King of New York.
He's talking shit on World of T-Shirts.
Wait, what's the top middle?
Oh, this is him talking shit.
Oh, yeah.
The Indian spice market.
What the fuck is this?
This guy, Quinn.
The 60-year-old dude who follows him around everywhere.
He's a hot dog heir to what's the one that sponsors Frank?
Hot Dog Scion.
What?
Yeah, he's the heir to that
and he takes
World of T-Shirts out drinking and he runs
the tour with World of T-Shirts.
He said he will fight Daniel Larson
for World of T-Shirts.
We get them on Rough and Rowdy?
But he's 60 and there's a bunch of videos of him trying to hit on girls. Oh no. and four World of T-shirts. We get them on Rough and Rowdy? That'd be a nice brawl.
But he's 60,
and there's a bunch of videos of him trying to hit on girls.
Oh, no.
New York, it's great for TikTokers.
It's the greatest city in the world.
Yeah.
Do you think they just wake up,
and they're like, I gotta go to work,
and then they just walk to Times Square?
Yeah.
Yes.
Go to the office again.
World of Shirts lives on Staten Island.
He gets on a 5 a.m. train every day to come to Times Square.
And he goes home at like 4 a.m.
And then he's just live all day on his phone.
He doesn't sleep.
He says he's pissed.
He wants to quit his job and be a full-time celebrity.
I think he works one day a week.
Does he make money off his TikTok?
Off his lives, yeah.
And TikTok, you could just make money by posting videos.
They get a lot of interaction.
Yeah.
He had a creator fund.
He's just caking.
Which I wonder what his job is.
Catering?
Said it once.
It would be funny if it was a t-shirt shop.
Yeah.
I don't know why he goes by that name.
He's a janitor.
Why is he called that?
Is he?
Yeah.
Whatever happened to that dude that came in here?
Who?
Oh, the heart hand guy.
Was that his name, Alex?
The real poor guy.
I think he moved out to L.A.
Poorest boy in the world.
I started following him, and I did not like that I was following him.
Crocs?
Seems like a nice guy.
He's poor as hell.
Yeah, he's so fucking poor.
Yeah.
He only has a few million dollars.
He also is just always happy.
Never trusts someone who's always happy.
Remember when he was like, I don't know what a barstool is,
and then there was a video of him wearing a barstool sweatshirt?
That could be anyone.
He brought in a chair, and he was like, I found it in the garbage.
It's great.
What a day.
Yeah.
Nah, give me World of T-shirts.
Yeah.
That's a little more genuine.
Also just got an energy to it.
You don't know what to expect. It's a rivalry, but they're both villains. It's a little more genuine. Also just got an energy to it. You don't know what to expect.
It's a rivalry, but they're both villains.
It's really cool to see.
Oh, that is a cool rivalry.
KB, you met him, right?
I don't know if you would call that eating.
We came right up to each other.
You said, what up, B?
He didn't acknowledge anything I said.
He was just saying his script.
Was he doing his band thing?
Yeah.
The Tinder bit, right?
What's the band thing?
I'm banned from Tinder.
What does band mean?
It's a joke that hit like a year and a half ago, and he just does it every single day.
Crash, yeah.
I met him once.
What?
Oh, yeah, he's in his picture.
At Gem Saloon, which is where he frequents, I guess.
He's everywhere.
He's always there, like McSorley's or Biggie's Village Guy.
Larson was in Jump Saloon.
Yes, after he tried to break into Quinn's house.
I hate that I know all this.
He tried to break into Michael Quinn's house.
Does Larson drink, too?
Yeah.
Hey, TJ, speaking of New York, is Shopping Day Saturday?
It is.
Whoa.
It's the only day on the calendar where men can shop without judgment.
Are you going, Nick?
Yeah.
You are?
Yeah.
Oh, I love this day for you guys.
I want to have the meanest fit.
Where are you going to go?
You go shopping.
Soho.
Where though?
Soho?
Yeah.
Which stores are you going to hit?
I'm going to hit Stadium Goods.
Probably try to get Travis Lowe's.
Do you guys have like a little itinerary kind of
where you just go to the area and you... It's my first shopping day.
Is there a boozy brunch? Yeah, we have a starting point.
Can we get Quakes in here
to explain shopping day? Sure.
It's my number one FOMO day.
Besides Darts Day, this is
another big one. Yeah, it looks fun as hell.
It's like, damn, I wish I was there.
Darts outfit just came in. The boys shopping together.
Shout out to Watts who got got darts tickets, and then he asked for 16 extra tickets.
Who?
Popular ass dude, Watts.
I'm going to try to go to darts day.
Please do it.
I want to very badly.
It's incredible.
Dude, I don't know if it's TJ or Big Cap, but you guys need to get your man Mark Titus, dude.
Why?
He's been chefing up some mean girl level NBA takes. What'd he say? I don't know if it's TJ or Big Cap, but you guys need to get your man Mark Titus, dude. Why?
He's been cheffing up some mean girl level NBA takes.
What'd he say?
He had three in a row that just broke my heart.
What'd he say?
First off, he was like, I don't like Adam Silver.
And his whole point was like, I like the playing game, but I don't like Adam Silver because Adam Silver hasn't done anything that I like, but I like the playing game.
First off, that doesn't make sense, but what's wrong with Adam Silver?
Luke Warm, not great.
Second off, he said this is the worst NBA season in his lifetime.
Whoa.
The worst NBA season?
Why leap to this hyperbole?
We have one of the best MVP races ever.
Oh, okay.
I see where you're personally upset about it.
Tons of different teams involved.
And then his third and final one was we should get rid of the draft.
And if guys wanted to, like no one would go to the good teams,
they would just go to like Detroit because they would get more playing time.
Replace the draft with recruiting.
He's just saying shit.
He's like not everybody goes to Kentucky and Duke
He's like everybody does go to Kentucky and Duke
He was just
Not everyone
Yeah you're right
Not everyone
So his point is true about that
But he was just throwing shit at them
I do think they should get rid of the draft
What?
What?
No if you could use your salary cap for prospects.
But then don't you think that everyone would go to Miami?
No, they wouldn't have money.
On South Beach?
What if Miami only has $5 million for Victor Wimbiniana and Detroit has $50?
I'd go to Miami for $5 million.
Yeah, same.
I think I would too.
I think where you want to play is so much more important.
Just from anybody who can pick a job anywhere,
it's so much more important to be able to just go where you want to go.
That's why there is a draft.
That's why it was instituted in the first place.
Thunder would be starting Ben DiGiulio.
Balls out.
He balls out.
Best baller in the office.
Shopping day.
Yeah.
When did it start?
Two years ago.
Okay.
What is the big picture thesis of shopping day?
It's the only day for men to shop without judgment.
Okay.
We only need one day.
Yeah, you just need one.
It's basically, it started like two years ago.
Needed clothes. It's right around the started like two years ago. Needed clothes.
It's right around the time where you can't wear like sweatshirts every day anymore.
Yep, yep.
And a few of us needed a shop, and we're like, let's make a little event out of it.
I love it.
So what, did you guys do a boozy brunch before?
Yeah, we go brunch, store, bar, store, bar, store.
It's a bar crawl.
Okay.
Basically.
At the end of the day, it's like
in a bar.
Three stores, four bars.
It's a bar crawl. I love it even more now.
It's slowly turning into more drinking.
What are some pieces
that you're looking for this year?
Some essentials.
Some plain shirts. Probably hit up Uniqlo.
What are you doing with your feet
and your ankles this summer?
Yeah, KB's been asking.
Ooh, big question.
Fellas won't give me a straight answer.
I'm a bad shoe guy.
I go, like, one pair of shoes until they get worn out.
But what are you doing?
Are you doing, like, no-show socks, low-cut socks?
I'm not good at summer.
I'm good at night.
I want to know the whole bottom.
Shorts?
Yeah, what are we doing?
What shoes? What are the guys doing? It's a tough time to be a man. I don't know what I'm good at summer I want to know the whole bottom Shorts Yeah what are we doing What shoes
Summer's a tough time to be a man
I don't know what to wear
Yeah
I don't know
I probably
Probably like sneakers
With low socks
This is a dumb question
But like
Oh
Yeah
Did he say no socks
Is that what
Yikes
I think you can't
I think it's become
In male fashion,
like you either got to go no-show socks or full-show socks.
I used to do full-show socks.
Full-show, then.
Then I tried it again, and I felt like I just looked way fatter.
Yeah.
Low-cut, though, is...
Oh, yeah, you did.
Low-cut is a clown move, I think.
Like the medium cut?
Yeah, I think so.
Oh, yeah, the medium's bad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody can pull medium. Right. That's it, KB. Maybe we bring back medium. Like the medium cut? Yeah, I think so. Oh, yeah, the medium's bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nobody can pull medium.
Right.
Maybe that's it, KB.
Maybe we bring back medium.
What are we doing?
I'm busting something out this summer.
I'm doing the exact socks that Rowan's wearing right now
and probably the same shoes, too.
So you're hitting a restaurant or a bar out.
What shorts are you wearing?
To be honest.
Can you wear shorts out to the bars here?
I'm a shorts guy.
People don't do that, do they?
No, I'm a big shorts guy.
Because I'm not a t-shirt guy.
You'll never catch me in a t-shirt.
I'm wearing sweatshirt and shorts.
I'm wearing shorts every day.
I'm wearing the Patagonia baggies.
Yeah, I'm wearing my bare bottoms, to be honest.
Here we go.
Now, biggest question.
What happens if we go to the same store and we find a shirt that we both like?
Well, it depends on what it is.
What are the rules?
That happened last year
at Urban Outfitters.
In Adidas, there was a...
I think it comes down to who wants it more.
Urban Outfitters is a good one
to hit with the boys because you do not want to go
in there solo.
That's a shameful walk-in by yourself.
Who wanted the same shirt last year?
Who were the two I
Can't remember what's the whole roster?
I think it might have been like me and Donnie and then it's like I was down to like yeah
You're gonna look better
That's not fair if I did we did that rule I'd never get a shirt yeah, I mean I didn't get much last year
No, but it also should be like Donnie could pull off anything.
Right.
So it should be like any other shirt.
Yeah, get any other shirt.
You don't have to have this one.
Yeah, exactly.
You got to figure out a system for this because I feel like that's a big problem.
That happened at a bar right after with you and Donnie and a girl, right?
Yeah, it took her.
Yeah.
She'll look better on me.
Who's already RSVP'd as attending?
There's like 16 people.
Holy shit.
Yeah, it's getting a little like.
Do you guys do like what the girls do?
Like are you, you go in the dressing room and then you come out and a bunch of the guys are like, that looks good on you.
Like do you help each other or no?
No try on event.
Oh, no try on.
I like that.
I like that.
Yeah.
It sounds fun as hell.
Again, it's the biggest FOMO I have every year when I just log on to Instagram and everyone
has the same Instagram story from like one seat over at the bar.
It's an open event.
Who's the weak link of the crew?
Yeah.
Who do you wish didn't RSVP?
This year, Max.
Oh.
He wants to watch the Sixers game And he's trying to plan around that
He did lose three pounds
Yeah
That should help him in shopping day
That's taking a shit
He was like I lost three pounds
Dude if I didn't eat dinner I'd lose five pounds
Yeah
He's still 2X
Which is difficult to get someplace
Urban Outfitters
They're like fat phobic.
I know.
I thought Urban Outfitters was all like the baggy style.
Yeah, but still, he's right.
A lot of skin tight.
2X is hard to find.
Good luck finding 2X at Uniqlo.
Oh, yeah.
It is for small Japanese boys.
Even if you do, it's Asian 2X.
Asian 2X.
Asian 2X is an American small.
I don't know if there's a rule,
but can we have it be a rule that everyone has to wear
one of their new fits on Monday?
Yeah.
Okay, that'd be nice.
A little fashion show?
See everyone's new fits.
Yeah.
Like the first day back at school when you were a kid.
We can make that happen.
Yeah, everyone's got their freshest fit.
Are you going to be a little runway?
I'm going to be in Nashville.
What time does it start?
11. Okay. Brunch at 11. a little runway? I'm going to be in Nashville. What time does it start? 11.
Okay. Brunch at 11.
Damn it, I'm jealous. Can you give us as much as the roster of you know, and is there any big spenders?
Anybody that's going to spend more? Tell them to read the
group chat.
Read the group chat.
Or just say everything.
Fuck, I want to go so bad.
Ross.
Does someone want to look after my kids?
Then come to Nashville with me.
Are kids allowed at shopping day?
Hell no.
Hell no.
Just the guy.
Just my son?
Yeah, yeah.
All right, Ross.
Remember when my dad took me to my first shopping day?
Ross, I don't know if everybody in here is going,
but it's Liam, Dana, Ben DiGiulio, Tommy, Jack Mack, Donnie, Spider, Greer,
Mikey Podcast, Rudy, Jack McCarthy.
Whoa.
Mike Fowler?
Yeah.
He doesn't work here anymore.
It's all right.
It's not a Barcelona.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Max, TJ, Ebo, Owen Roeder, Jake Malasek, Tyler Miller, and Asher Barron.
Oh.
You know that name.
Asher Barron's in the mix?
Yeah.
Is he?
Was he canceled?
No.
Okay.
All right.
We'll move on.
Low key.
Have him buy you guys some.
We didn't cancel.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Nice.
That's all that matters.
Boys stand up for each other.
God damn it. This is going to be so much fun. Yeah. Fuck. I like the thought of the store clerks, yeah. Okay, all right. Nice. That's all that matters. Boys stand up for each other. God damn it.
It's going to be so much fun.
Yeah.
Fuck.
I like the thought of the store clerks, too.
Like, 16 dudes rolling in.
Drunk.
Fresh off a brunch.
Hammer.
Ready to, yeah, ready to.
Yeah, no, it's just about collecting bags.
Yeah.
Who bought the most last year?
It's got to be Rudy.
Maybe Rudy.
Yeah, it's got to be Rudy.
I feel like this is just like
you guys are following Rudy around
Rudy probably had
Rudy had a bag of probably
just nail polishes alone
yeah
pearl necklaces
yeah
yeah
shit shopping day
what a great day
are you excited
are you gonna go to sleep
early Friday
probably yeah
that's the key
you know you're gonna have
a great day with the boys
and you're like
I gotta get to bed
how does it end?
It just devolves.
Slowly just peels off.
It basically ends in us being in a bar with a ton of shopping bags,
trying to figure out where we need to go to put these.
Because they're extremely inconvenient.
You can go out for the night with all your bags.
Right.
I mean, we should.
It'd be fine.
It'd be a head-turner.
Any big stores you're hitting?
Is there a Supreme store?
Of course.
Kith?
Hugo Boss?
Yeah, but we're trying to keep it.
We got a budget.
What's the budget looking like?
You guys should do personal budgets.
What's your budget?
Trying to drop a band.
Yeah, dropping a band.
You got to drop a band at least.
Maybe like 600. You could round that up to a band. Yeah, dropping a band. You gotta drop a band at least. Maybe like 600.
You could round that up to a band.
Yeah, go band. Depends on what I see.
Once you see yourself in the Birkenstock clogs
you're gonna be like, alright.
But I don't think I'm buying shoes or anything.
If you're not buying shoes
then it's hard.
That was shopping day one, right?
Dave flew you guys to Milan.
We're gonna do Paris.
Milan has the best Carhartt store in Milan.
Wow, we should get this on Dave's radar, shopping day in Paris.
That's the main goal is Paris shopping.
Let's get this sold.
Sell shopping day.
We're open to sponsors.
We sold a 51 Strokes sponsor last year.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And the podcast folded a week later. Oh, yeah. The podcast folded a week later.
Oh, no.
I'm going to say right now,
this is a vision board for me.
Someday, maybe we'll all get on a plane
and go to Paris.
Why don't you come?
For a day.
I can't on Saturday.
We've got to be a dad for the morning
and then we've got the game in Long Island.
Oh, yeah.
That's NYPD.
If I didn't have that, I would maybe be able to get out for an hour,
but I'm already missing half the day.
You're looking at a 40% chance of rain on Saturday.
Oh, no.
As you randle it.
Wet bags fall apart.
It's later in the day.
Oh, no.
Just go to this section of the city that's not raining. Yeah. It's a big city. Look at that. All right. apart. Oh, no. Just go to this section of city that's not raining.
Yeah.
It's a big city.
Look at that.
All right.
Oh, I love this.
If Penn Stock ever gets back up there, we're going to do shopping day in Paris.
Yeah.
If your Eagles bet hits.
Yeah, if Eagles bet.
But we're going to fly there and only be there for like 12 hours.
Yeah, true.
Yeah.
Did Greer buy a non-clothing item?
He did. He bought a Dr. Dre. I'm an urban outfitter. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Did Greer buy a non-clothing item? He did.
He bought a Dr. Dre record.
Chronic.
Urban Outfitters.
Yeah, it's the only thing he bought.
Oh.
It's got to be one of Urban Outfitters.
Stella Blue can sponsor it.
You want to sponsor by Stella Blue?
If I had, talk to Max.
If there's enough merch and shit,
I would love to sponsor it.
Yeah, we'll wear some hats and just tag you in it.
Yeah, that's fine.
Yeah, done.
Done.
Stella Blue will sponsor it.
I'll also give you some cash to buy a round
for all the boys at the bar.
A round of shirts.
I'll buy you guys a round of shirts.
Shirts for everybody.
Look at you.
What was that?
You're drunk buying undershirts.
I guess that explains it.
I thought it was just an undershirt.
It was like male Spanx, basically.
Yeah, it was one of those.
Dude.
Which, yeah, no, I've kind of grown to love it.
Are you wearing them?
Not right now.
You should.
Listen, going to the gym and working out is overrated
when you can just put on a pair of Spanx and put a T-shirt on.
Yeah, we can just squeeze it all together.
Put a bunch of shirts on.
Yeah.
That's what I do.
All right.
Well, good luck.
And also good luck editing the case race.
Yeah.
I'm excited.
How many pages of red are you going to expect to have after this one?
Usually two.
Yeah?
Yeah.
This one's going to be pretty low key, though.
It's usually me just, yeah, texting Quigs, cut that, cut that, cut that.
Yeah.
Now it'll be good yeah i'm excited too
uh okay shopping day all right still blue sponsorship i'll give you some cash too for
drinks we're good they'll pay for brunch yeah what does the brunch usually run thousand bucks
16 guys okay quigs yes i don't know where in new New York. I want to throw a 20 down.
Son of a boy dad sponsoring as well.
Yes.
Take it.
I'll take the 20.
You get one shout out.
You get one post.
One post for $20?
One post.
From everyone.
Dude, ain't a sky.
He's the sponsor for solely for $30 a day.
Thank you.
Ran us dry.
I'll give you $1,000.
You should get a tattoo.
That's better than a podcast tattoo That's better than a
Oh shopping day with tattoos would be fun
Maybe later
Alright thank you Quigs
Did he use that 20
As a mistake
I can see them starting a trend
And other guys starting to do that
A day worth fellas shop
I never shop.
Hell no.
Get your back.
No, that was for us, bro.
You said you could have used that 20.
I could use a 10.
So you go,
Hadzi's on it.
Perfect.
All right,
I got to go to this fucking meeting.
Oh, yeah, it is today.
Oh, the one you left last time?
Yeah, it's a week later, finally.
What is the meeting for?
Don't worry about it.
I know what it's for, because it's fucking me over.
Yeah, it is actually a fuck Nick meeting.
All right.
All right.
Let me hold a dollar.
Let him hold the dollar.
Oh, do we do the face paint?
So, Roan, who's your teammate?
I'll be worth a dollar at some point.
Roan's teammate is Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle?
So Kyle will get your face paint for you.
Well, Roan, do you want a person, place, or thing?
Got it.
Maybe we should just use the random celebrity generator.
Yeah, you have to paint, like, fingers crossed.
We'll be getting the same lady.
I think it's the same company, maybe not the same lady.
Correct.
Steven, I truly love you.
Thanks, love you too, buddy.
Okay.
Because you just, if I, like, had, like, a football,
I was like, I'm going to throw this across the Brooklyn Bridge.
You're like, yeah, you probably can.
Yeah.
I go with the facts.
Yeah.
That's what the facts were online.
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talkify.com slap slash yak talkify.com slash yak i don't think i'm ever getting rid of this cough
this might actually kill me yeah that one mile one mile might have killed me that would be the
ultimate the haters get that.
Or just die in my sleep tonight.
We knew he couldn't do it.
So what else is up, guys?
What else is up?
What else?
What else is up?
How's everyone feeling?
Good.
Sweaty and back to my old ways.
Sweaty?
Sweating my ass off.
Well, you're wearing a sweatshirt.
It's like 80 degrees.
Picked up my laundry this morning.
It's always the best feeling.
It feels so good.
Just knowing you have clean underwear.
World is your oyster.
Clean undies for weeks.
Is your new place not have laundry in?
No.
Damn.
Damn. Damn.
Yeah.
What can you do?
I miss that, dropping off your laundry and then getting that fresh brick and everything's
so perfectly folded.
It's hit or miss.
My laundry guy, Mr. Raphael, he's just sent it to the wrong apartment many times, and
he's like, he'll tell me the address, and I have to go knock on that person's door.
Oh, no.
Do you think they picked some stuff out?
Yeah.
Yeah, I have good pieces.
Sounds like you need to go to shopping day.
Yeah.
Are you going to go?
Owen texted me and said you should come.
I think that was an insult.
But, yeah, I'm going.
Fuck yes.
I don't think I...
You should show up faster than you're late.
Oh, that would be cool.
Yeah.
You should show up already with a bag. I that'd be cool. Yeah. You should show up
already with a bag.
I think I got a head start.
Oh.
All right.
You know what you should do
is you should go
and buy the cheapest thing
at Kith today
and then put everything
in a Kith bag.
Everything.
Everything.
Or you should come back
and they're like,
oh, welcome back, Nick.
Yeah.
Why did you buy this bottle cap?
Put me on to me.
Welcome back to Kith. Yeah. The usual. Yeah this bottle cap? It'll be on to me. Welcome back to Kith.
Yeah.
The usual.
Yeah, the usual.
Tommy's been wearing Kith.
I don't know what he's trying.
He's trying shit.
He's trying shit.
I used to do solo shopping days because I can't do it with anyone.
No.
No.
Where I would drive to Beachwood Mall in Cleveland and I would.
Well, you can't try anything on with your boys.
You can't even pretend to browse with your boys. I know. I've never. That looks cute. That looks good. Yeah, you can't try anything on with your boys you can't even pretend to browse with your boys
I know I've never
you can't show interest
in a clothing article and then like
you can't like if I saw something I would
look good on you I wouldn't tell you
like oh Kyle over here
browsing is feels so lame
so lame
oh man I remember going shopping I would have a mom
he does look three pounds lighter.
Yeah, he does, doesn't he?
He's light on his feet today.
Big dump lighter.
Going shopping with my mom, and I'm just never going to admit that I found something that I like.
Then you just start fighting.
What?
There's nothing here I want.
Oh, yeah.
17 years old.
Yeah.
Kind of ruled when your mom shopped for you. My mom was dressing me until I was 20. Yeah. 17 years old. Yeah. Kind of ruled when your mom shopped for you.
My mom was dressing me until I was 20.
Yeah.
I just shop online and nothing ever fits.
And I just don't wear it.
Nothing fits.
Yeah.
In high school, I used to think it was gay to spend money on clothes.
Yeah.
So I would just wear the free shirts that I got from school or D.A.R.E. or stuff like
that.
You're so straight.
I was so straight.
Clothes.
I could go to pussy.
It's pussy money.
We were talking about this, but the straightest guys are like that.
Collar guys, they don't.
Yeah.
They couldn't wear one article.
Yeah.
Buy the same shirt over and over.
Wear the same blue jeans every day. Wear like vans in front of them. They're like, well. Carhartt. Buy the same shirt over and over. Wear the same balloon jeans every day.
Wear like vans in front of them.
Oh, rich city boy.
Yeah.
Or you'll be wearing like jeans like that,
and they'll just be like, oh, skinny jeans.
Yeah, oh.
Any jeans they aren't wearing.
Skinny jeans.
Oh, where are you going to put your fucking hammer?
Yeah, yeah.
No loop.
Let your balls breathe.
It is funny that anything that's even like just not super baggy is skinny jeans yeah i have a pair of mugsies people like oh nice skinny jeans
like they're definitely not yeah i tried once i bought a pair of black skinny jeans yeah and i
looked like the dumbest person alive i can't wear skinny jeans because my legs are too skinny. I can't wear skinny jeans
because my torso's too big.
Well, for women, skinny jeans are out
now, but that's all I own.
Now it's the wide leg.
Yeah, it's like the 70s.
But it's all I own, and I don't know how to
shop. Barstool ruined me. I don't know how to shop
anymore. All my shit is
pretty shirts.
Just stick with what you got, and eventually it'll become cool it becomes comes back around yeah right i'm not going back to skinny because i was a i was
big into the skinny and then it just it's this is better yeah i just wear joggers every day i don't
try to go crazy baggy i really want to go to shopping day i might just bring my kids bring
them and he's doing a shopping day for me hit me up yesterday said what size shirt are you oh
brandon text me he wants us all tomorrow his birthday, to bring him a gift.
He won't be here.
Do the case trace.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
No problem.
I can do that.
What do you get for the guy that has everything but a house?
I know what I'm getting.
Homeless-ass Brandon.
I'm getting him Chick-fil-A.
Oh, nice.
Leave it right on his desk.
Yep.
Is he back?
A week?
I think he's back next week.
Don't touch it.
Yeah, so tomorrow we'll do an hour yak.
Okay.
Because we have a long case race.
What time are we starting the case race?
Six.
Should we get dinner before?
Yeah.
We definitely should.
Nate said she was going to bring some snacks.
Never eat before.
Also, wait, where'd Steven go?
There he goes.
He's running.
I think a Twix bar.
Wait, say this again?
He went to get a Twix.
Oh, he went.
I thought, okay.
That was a Twix emergency.
He had to have it now.
I don't want to get too far ahead of myself,
but I think we should attempt the Stinky Cloud
after the case race. I've already bought
the thing. It's sitting at Steven's desk.
It's one more thing.
Plastic bubble? Yeah.
Everyone can bring something they think is stinky.
Yeah.
Please bring that.
Him having to do the Stinky Cloud
while blackout drunk
could be very funny. Guaranteed vomit. Yeah. It's not his choice. He has to do the Stinky Cloud while blackout drunk could be very funny.
Guaranteed vomit.
Yeah.
Yo, that Stinky Cloud, it's not his choice.
He has to do it.
You got to find stink bombs.
I'm just going to go Brussels sprouts, and I'm going to get one of those stink bags.
That would fuck all of us over.
Oh, those are so.
Remember when Owen accidentally set one off, and he just threw it in the stairwell because
he didn't know what to do with it?
Because you just, like, tap them, and they set off.
Where can you buy them? Stink bombs are hilarious. You you buy them hilarious you probably buy them anywhere let's get one dudes in atlanta are spraying the fart
spray in elevators at the mall that fart spray is rancid we gotta get that too yep
was it is there a gag gift store i'll have spider go look there's got to be yeah good
gag store around there's a spy store down the block that I just wanted to go in.
I don't know what they sell.
It's right.
It's like the spy store and then the pole dancing fitness class right on top of each other.
It's kind of perfect.
I got beers for my dad last night.
Oh, so losing team has to drink one of Tim Hitchin's beers.
There's a bunch.
There's enough for everybody, I think.
They got like the custom labels.
Still can't show labels because of sponsors,
but they're between 10% and 17% alcohol.
Holy shit.
Wow.
Fuck.
So if we want to wheel them or something.
I would rather just have those.
You can have it when you lose, sucker.
17.
I can bring in some of my parents' wine.
They make wine together now. They sent me a bunch of bottles.
They're really doing that? Yeah, they're real into it.
Is it good wine? Are they doing it
just for convenience or are they
liking it? They're liking the process of doing it.
The whole basement is just wine set up now.
When I was in
high school, one of my buddies was working at
a grocery store and someone gave
him a box of homemade beer
in bottles.
The labels were all custom he like custom made labels not he printed them out and taped them onto the bottle
and it was all just like pictures of his kids so we were just like sitting in my friend's basement
just drinking pictures of like it would be like a little toddler like floating in a bathtub yeah
and it was terrible it was weird as fuck though Yeah sounds great
Now like cigarettes have like warning labels
Of like black lung
It's like you drink this beer
You're gonna be into this
Steven do you have the stinky cloud still?
I think so I think it's right around my desk
I'm gonna grab it
What are we doing today?
No, we're going to do it tomorrow after the case race.
After the case race?
Yeah.
Come on, man.
What?
I thought we were going to have a fun time, do salad bowl and stuff.
Yeah, no, we are.
It's after.
We're going to wait at the end.
You got to sleep in it.
I'm not sleeping here.
We'll put a pin in it.
We'll see if Stinky Cloud happens.
I think it should.
I'll do Stinky Cloud.
Yeah.
Want to do it Monday?
No, no.
Tuesday?
You're real twisted.
Mr. Nugget.
Yeah, yeah.
That Nugget's winning the battle.
No, because we can't do it when people are around because it's going to stink.
We should get some of that fish that Vibs has.
Oh, that's my favorite thing ever
Do it tomorrow after the case race
What was that noise?
We're only just going to sit around for an hour?
No, it'll only be like 10 minutes you have to sit in it
10 minutes of stink Oh, that's fun Yeah, yeah, yeah No, no, it's not going to be like a long thing It's not going to sit around for an hour? No, it'll only be like 10 minutes you have to sit in it. 10 minutes will stink.
Oh, that's fine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no.
It's not going to be like a long thing.
It's not going to be fine.
We're just going to stink it up, and then you'll sit in there.
Yeah, let me see this.
It'll be the worst punishment.
Yeah.
My desk got relocated several times with all the shoots they had, so let me go see if there's
a box there.
Okay.
I know you ordered it.
What should we bring in?
We also need to figure out face paint.
Yeah, let's do face paint right now.
You have what? Cat poop?
Oh, good.
I was thinking about burning it a little.
Oh.
That might burn off some of the bacterium.
Make it wet.
You're right. Wet would probably be...
I could bring in a diaper bag.
Oh, those. Oh, man.
They are so bad. So, so, so horrifically be. I could bring in a diaper bag. Oh, those, oh man. They are so bad.
So, so, so horrifically bad.
Oh.
So bad.
Oh.
Oh.
I don't want to have to smell any of it though, right?
No, we're going to make a moment like a podcast.
He's going to be out there.
No, he's going to be out in the.
All right.
But should he go in and we add the things one at a time?
Or should we construct the cloud?
Maybe we construct the cloud and he steps into it.
Sit there for a minute.
And it hits you all at once.
Because I don't want him to get used to it.
I want to see him puke.
He will.
100% will.
Oh, and then you have to stay in if he pukes?
Yeah, it adds to the stay.
That's borderline.
Maybe we shouldn't do it after the case race.
Or we have to shower or something. Oh,line. Maybe we shouldn't do it after the case race. We have to go on Tom and Obey.
We need to shower or something.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Good call, TJ.
You're just going to make him stand in a puddle of puke and smells.
10 minutes isn't up yet.
Yeah, welcome to the yak, bro.
This is it.
Puking, he can get out.
I just want to knock off everything off the list of that one guy who comments every day
about the list.
We can just be like, there you go.
Oh, man.
You got to just not look at that shit.
Yeah, you're right.
It's the top-up.
So right.
Comment everywhere.
It's the top-up.
Like, if I click to share the video.
I don't look at any of it anymore.
And you can't not see it.
Yeah.
No, you're right.
Yeah.
That's why I ran a mile today, because I was looking at that shit.
Now they're saying you didn't.
Now they're saying I didn't.
It's a never-ending.
Please, anyone. A never-ending please anyone a
never-ending circle of i deleted reddit and then i'm just like oh shit nothing and none of that
matters uh yeah i told you that three years ago but like they're legal have you guys binged legal
advice no i i haven't looked at it since covid yeah Yeah, that's not. Because I was like, I had the same moment where I was like, what am I doing?
Why am I getting angry?
Yeah.
Like a hundred comments that are nice and two that are mean.
And you're like, these people have just, oh, fuck them.
It's the two that are mean that get you.
Yeah, they get you so bad.
You don't really shame yourself.
Ignore it all.
What are you doing?
I'm addicted to compliments.
I'm looking for, I'm searching for compliments.
Yeah.
Lame as fuck.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah, no, my life became immediately better.
I still have to hop on every now and then to check the r slash aviation.
I was on r slash war zone.
I read a YouTube comment.
It was a rundown me, Will, and Che this week, Monday.
And one of the comments was, one of these guys looks like a squirrel.
Oh, I need to know.
Yeah, yeah.
Wasn't me. me but seriously you could
read you could read a hundred great comments and then one and you're like i can't read good
comments i don't look at them it's like i i can't see them as words i don't see great comments only
the bad yeah right you just cruise by it yeah there's gonna be a case study on people in this
field when once we all die happens to our own hand yeah actually sometimes
i think about like we're the first generation of podcast whatever you want to call all this
like what if we all just die when we're 50 and like and they like come out with study like
actually it's bad to be a podcast yeah it's like it's like it's like they discover cte there might
be some shit too like shredded your psyche yeah cte yeah like they have noTE. There might be some shit, too. Shredded your psyche down.
Yeah, CTE, too.
We have no one to go off of.
Right, exactly.
Yeah, CTE.
Who is the oldest podcaster?
Like, Marc Maron?
He's still going.
Joe Rogan?
If he dies, like, tomorrow, I'm going to be worried.
Yeah.
If he starts losing his keys, like, we got to start being like, oh, shit.
Oh, fuck.
Can we call him and ask if he's healthy, how he's doing?
How are your mental faculties?
Well, Adam, what was his?
Corolla?
Yeah.
He's went off the deep end a little bit.
Pretty sure.
Has he?
Oh, yeah.
I think he does a solo podcast every day that's just ranting.
A solo podcast is how you know you're a crazy person.
He does well, though, right?
No, no, yeah.
That part is still this,
but I'm saying, like,
I think he's gotten deep into politics and everything.
Oh.
Where he's just ranting about,
those people fascinate me.
They just wake up every day,
they're like, today's the day
I'm going to stop everyone from thinking this way.
I'm going to prove it.
What's Pat doing?
Did you have it, Steven?
They probably don't even feel their organs.
Yeah.
What is it?
Let's open it up.
The tent?
Yeah.
It's a tent.
Yeah, let's open it up.
Let's see how it looks.
Make it.
Nice.
Oh, that was so unlucky, Kate.
In and out.
Look at it next time.
Need a blade, Che?
Oh, what's he up to?
Is he live right now?
Is that the Metro North?
Can we get him to say 10X
Or maybe we get him to say
He won't
He wouldn't say 10
He's on either Metro North
Or New Jersey Transit
He's on a fancy train right now
I found my wallet
Scott dropped
Oh yeah, he lost his wallet
Before he got
Scott dropped it
In a random place Cause I was going to jump in there,
but there was no safe place for me to get back to the surface.
Is he on a train?
He left it there.
How many people are in his live right now?
Luckily, he found it.
Shout out World T T-Shirts.
Apparently he was
just talking about Frank.
The tank?
Yeah, because they were
both at the Mets game
at the same time.
Oh, God.
Oh, my word.
That is two world teams.
Yeah.
He said Frank owns
Barstool.
He kind of does.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah.
Totally wrong.
Reasonable take
Oh damn now he's at 1.3 thousand
He should
He should know better
Is he talking Larson?
I'm so invested in this
Then to leave
To drop stuff somewhere
If people are like
This guy needs to go sober
He needs stopped.
No, he doesn't.
He's having the time of his life every day.
He's having a blast.
He's having a blast.
Where is he going?
Oh, he's going to wreak havoc.
I would include that in the claim.
Whoa.
That was cool.
Glasses.
So, TJ, where are we going to find our face paint?
How do you want to do it?
Random generators?
Yeah, but we've got to find a better random generator, right?
Yeah.
I'm trying to think.
What are we going for?
Animals?
Things?
People?
Yeah.
What is this one?
Oh.
Oh, a tent.
Oh.
Oh, it's perfect. Shut up. Popped Oh. Oh, it's perfect.
It popped up.
Oh, yeah.
That's going to hold a stink real nice.
Oh, yeah.
That's a bubble.
That is so perfect.
You'll be able to see the stink in it as well since it's clear.
The cloud.
How am I going to breathe in this?
What are you talking about?
There's going to be air in there.
Yeah.
We'll poke a hole.
All right.
I mean, it's going to be... I don't know if we can go 10 minutes.
I don't think I can last enough.
There's 10 minutes of air in it.
Probably 10 minutes of air in it.
For sure.
If you're spray tanning in that.
It's not airtight.
Is that what it was for originally?
Spray tan?
You think that's like science?
It's not airtight.
Stephen, just remember, you took $12,000 off the slush fund.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Is this from Matt?
No.
I don't know, but I'm just going to connect them.
No, Stephen traded.
This was Kate's punishment.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's right.
Kate gave it to Che for a punishment to be named later.
Oh, so Stephen used that?
Then we stopped doing punishments. Yeah. Aha. Wait, Stephen, bring's right. Kate gave it to Che for a punishment to be named later. Oh, so Steven used it. Then we stopped doing punishments.
Yeah.
Aha.
Wait, Steven, bring it in here.
I want to see it.
Bring it in here.
Thank God.
Oh, what a dumb trade.
That's a very dumb trade.
Because this seems like a terrible punishment.
Terrible?
Yeah, not good.
Horrific.
It's going to stick to you.
That's a stink that'll be in your hair.
Here you come.
This thing is hilarious.
He's going to have to squat kind of down in it, too, I think.
You can put a little stool in there for him.
Here he comes.
Is it completely airtight?
Well, with a zipper, there's always...
Zippers always flat air.
What's the bottom?
It just has an open bottom.
There you go. You're fine.
Yeah, but it's not airtight.
You're not going to airtight.
Get in it real quick.
Let me see you in it.
Can you put it on top of me?
I'll sit on this chair.
Sure.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, that's perfect.
It's not even close to airtight.
Oh, no.
Why is that what we landed on, though?
That's a tent?
Yeah, look.
It's a spray tent.
Yeah, that's perfect.
It'll be fine.
And we'll put all the stink on the bottom.
Can you zip the bottom up?
No.
We'll put it in the bathroom.
Yeah.
What is that tent for?
Spray tans.
I think it's spray tans and also like soccer moms.
Well, that won't shade you from shit.
No, for rain.
Oh.
Oh, a rain sheet.
I forgot about rain.
Yeah.
You're sitting there and you just, you know.
The boy in the bubble.
Yeah. Oh, it's going to reek. This gonna reek this is gonna be awesome my favorite thing yeah we're gonna stinky cloud just gotten those
for covid and we'll do it as a finale of the case race fuck jay you should take a picture of
yourself sitting at your desk like that and post it and be like, oh yeah, COVID. COVID, yeah.
Even though Biden said the pandemic's over, it's not over everywhere.
Line for the sixth
booster was too long. Guess I'll go back
and do it.
You'll go viral.
You'll go viral.
It'll pop off.
Or just do like the
Oh, go do it right now now I want to see you tweet it
We want to watch it live
Yeah so you could quote tweet it
Just have someone out there
We'll write the caption
You gotta be like working
Yeah
Yeah sit at your computer
It's also not that far off
Yeah
I think you should tweet something
Just like
The steps you have to take when coworkers refuse to wear masks.
Or refuse to get vaccinated.
Yeah.
Or refuse to get boosted.
Yeah.
People get so mad about boosts.
So mad.
What?
TJ, can you look up just like over-the-counter stinky stuff?
Yeah, we need to find.
I'm going to have Spider go out and look for some stinky shit.
Oh, stinky tofu?
I think I might just cut off some of my chest hair and burn it.
Yeah.
Diaper bag.
The only problem is getting it here is kind of like I'm kind of fucking myself over.
Yeah.
Is it going to sit in your car?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And also, it's just disgusting.
Roaches?
Ew, I don't know.
River shoes?
River shoes.
Oh, my God, those.
Oh, I have a pair of, oh, Pat has these super old shoes that accidentally got wet in the ocean the other, like, a couple months ago.
And he wore them the other day, and it made our whole house smell so bad.
I can.
Oh, if we have someone, maybe fight's hockey bag. Oh, it's sitting over there, yeah. Yeah house smell so bad. I can... Oh, if we have someone maybe fight a hockey bag.
Oh, it's sitting over there, yeah. Yeah.
It's bad.
Stinky tofu you can order,
and it's a horrible smell.
This could be fun.
I'm so excited for this case.
The thing is, everybody's bringing in an object,
so this is going to be the worst smell ever.
Also, if it is,
if we're doing the one cigarette, two farts,
you can save your two farts.
Put it right in there, yeah.
Steven's down
for anything. Alright, so where'd you get the
generator? Why don't you spin
the wheel, get that out of the way, and then we'll do the generator.
Alright, we have a note for the
wheel. What is it?
Let me refer you to January
12th, Siak.
Oh no.
Used? Yeah. Yeah, no. It's been used? Yeah.
I guess we did this, man.
Yeah, yeah.
Festivus wheel.
Get it out.
We're going to throw it through the goddamn hole, man.
I want to see Kyle's naked body.
Set a reminder for a compliment minute.
Let's say let's put it back on the wheel in three months.
Oh.
Was that three months ago?
Oh.
So a compliment minute. Let's put it back on there months ago? Oh. So compliment minute.
Let's put it back on there.
Yes.
Yeah.
Compliment minute.
I hope we get it
during the case race.
Oh, that'll be hell.
Oh, you guys will,
you guys love doing that.
Yeah.
That is,
actually, you're right.
We do,
it's easy.
We do a compliment hour
when we're hard out.
Giving the compliment
is easy when you're drunk
and during one,
any time is,
that was difficult. All right one any time is... Yeah.
That was difficult.
All right,
go ahead,
spin it.
Oh.
Phew.
Nice dry wheel.
Good.
Get the picture,
Sass?
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is gonna be hilarious.
And it's like the fact that he's also like a dorky kind of guy. Yeah.
Who also has like 17 vaccines.
Yeah.
I'll send it to the group chat.
There he goes.
Steve Owen.
The measures you have to take when coworkers refuseworkers refuse to get boosted yeah smh
all right steven we got the caption for you
gonna work smfh sm
uh send me the photo yeah sass's texting it right now doing his text my caption then I'll throw it up
I was thinking just like a snapchat from like a POV and then it's like bro it ain't that serious
I want I want Che to get lamp Yeah, I do too.
Which one's the best?
There's several pictures. Put his hand through so he can see he's working still.
He's the side.
All right, shoot me that caption and I'll throw it up.
So you know what you're writing?
I thought you guys said you had a tweet.
Yeah.
Nick's got it.
Nick, what is he going to type?
I've got to find the eye roll emoji.
Yeah, I would do the one.
I would do two pictures.
I would do the one from the back and then I would do the one from the front where you can see your hand sticking out of the hole.
Would two pictures kind of take down the quality of it or no?
From behind is hilarious.
Yeah, just do from behind.
I love you, Che.
Love you guys, too.
Oh, that would have to be something.
That sounds like you're losing some faith in us.
No, no, no.
I'm looking forward to seeing what this is.
I'm confused which picture he wants us.
Just do the one from behind.
Do the first one.
Or the second one.
Okay.
This is hilarious.
Read it out loud, Nick.
Am I going to get in trouble HR for this?
No.
No.
For following COVID this? No. For following COVID
protocols?
The measures you have to take when
co-workers refuse to get
boosted. Shake of my head,
face palm emoji.
Alright. I'm bulletproof.
Do a dot.
Yeah, what are you going to do?
Dot dot dot before the emojis.
Yeah.
Or should it just be like? What would you say? Dot, dot, dot. Dot, dot, dot before the emojis. Yeah. Or should it just be like...
What would anyone say?
Oh...
Yeah, but what would be...
Maybe say that with a period.
Maybe...
Yeah, period.
But I'm also thinking like,
had to bring this on the subway today
because my coworkers...
Like, you make yourself the victim.
Yeah.
Had to lug this on the fucking subway today because my co-workers refused to get boosted yeah i honestly i think the first
one's better i think just the measures you have to take when your co-workers won't get boosted
or now because maybe that doesn't make it as personal right you have to make it because like
yeah had to lug this in from new jersey today. Yeah. Because my coworkers are refusing to get boosted.
Hashtag vaccines.
Hashtag COVID.
I don't know if you should hashtag.
Hashtag is a dead giveaway for a troll.
Okay.
All right.
You're right.
You're right.
I think just do period.
I think period.
Steven, what would anyone in HR say if they were like, I don't even know what they would
say.
And we'd be like, well, we were joking.
You can watch us on the Yak.
Craft this. We have coworkers tweeting, nice rack to were joking. You can watch us on the Yak craft this.
We have coworkers tweeting, nice rack to other coworkers.
I think you're okay.
True.
Yeah, they don't care.
Steven, we need to talk about the harmless joke you made.
Yeah, yeah.
You know we have to fire you.
I sent the drafts to you guys.
Let's see it.
Oh, man.
I love it, man.
Yeah. Yeah, throw a period at the end, though. Yeah. Period at the it. Oh, man. I love it, man. Yeah.
Yeah, throw a period at the end, though.
Yeah.
Period at the end of the whole thing.
What do you think, KB?
Not refuse.
Refuse.
Present tense.
Refuse to get boosted.
Maybe say forced to lug this in.
Yeah.
I would put it all in.
Forced to lug this in.
I would put it all of that.
It's going to suck if it gets no interaction
It's going to get nothing
Forced to lug this into work
No, forced to lug this in
from New Jersey because my coworkers
refuse to get boosted
Refuse, no D
That's it, any emoji or anything?
Period, make sure you get the period in there
Period's important
Forced to lug this in from New Jersey because my coworkers refuse to get boosted.
Period.
All right.
Love it.
I hope people get really mad.
Send now.
The Twitter blue thing.
You know, wait a minute.
All right, what's up?
We're going to get Jerry with this.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Jerry's going to text me being like, is this liberal Che serious?
Wait, can you text Jerry and just be like...
No, I'm going to text it to him and be like, can you believe this guy?
Where is Jerry right now?
He's in Columbia.
It's already got 50 likes.
It's 20 seconds ago.
Oh, yeah, this is going dummy.
It's going to go dummy.
Retweeted past the barstool
sphere.
I love it.
Lib Che knew it.
Yeah, Lib, Liberal Che.
Cancel this guy.
Oh.
No. That's okay.
Autistic.
That didn't run
a full mile.
These fucking assholes.
Mincy,
quote,
Mincy with the face palm.
No.
Quote, retweet.
Shut up.
Yeah.
Success.
Yes.
Success. Yes. Success.
Oh.
He's the best.
He's the absolute best.
Oh, my.
Yeah.
Of course.
Oh, Jerry.
I saw the text of Jerry.
Can you believe this fucking guy?
He just wrote back, total pussy.
Breaking news.
Steven traded Stinky Cloud to Kate
for 10x. I was gonna say,
I thought. Oh, no!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Oh!
Wait, wait, what?
He had to do the weightlifting because you didn't do it. Wait, what? He had to do the weightlifting because you didn't do it.
Wait, what?
I think I took weightlifting from you.
Or clean week.
I would have done weightlifting.
Wait a minute.
No, you didn't want to do weightlifting.
I would have done it.
Wait, I don't think you officially...
Yo, this is already making the rounds.
Is it really?
Yeah.
Imagine still living every day in fear.
Oh, this is so good.
Look at this virtual signaling soy boy.
This could all be Yak fans.
More disease on those shoes than your coworkers.
Damn, I did wear my older shoes today.
Oh, man, this is great.
Jerry commented, sad AF.
Yeah.
I subscribe to any any publicity is good publicity
so
no this is hilarious
if there's anyone who can take it
it's you
yeah I don't care
what are they going to do
what is she
I don't know anything about politics
HR did just text me
they were like
we gotta talk to Che after this
we're going to connect you
with HR real quick
we need to buy you a full bubble
Yeah
Have you do like a man on the street in a bubble
That would be great
Damn this is doing prime sass numbers
Yeah peak sass
Takes me back
Back in 2021
This is 2021 numbers
Damn
900 likes in 3 minutes
Oh fuck yeah
That's pretty good
Poppin' Che Thanks guys I just wanted to get God I miss it You're welcome 2021 numbers. Damn. 900 likes in three minutes. Oh, fuck yeah, Che. That's pretty good.
Poppin' Che.
Thanks, guys.
I just wanted to get caught up.
God, I miss it.
You're welcome.
So wait, what are the
conditions of this trade
and was this trade
officially made?
I replied to the guy
that I need proof.
You're going to have to
audit this.
Yeah, I need proof
because I don't
think I would have
traded Stinky Cloud.
I wouldn't have traded
it may have taken me
like 10 hours
but I would have done the lifting. I think I took either lift. I think I would have traded Stinky Cloud. I wouldn't have traded. It may have taken me like 10 hours, but I would have done the lifting.
I think I took either lift.
I think I did take lifting and maybe cleat week.
And there is definitely something to be named later.
It's out of the Barstool realm now.
People are mad.
Yeah.
Why are people mad?
It's Che.
About the tweet.
About your tweet.
About your tweet.
Yeah. What's the big deal?
People get mad when people wear masks still, and you're in a bubble.
You lugged a bubble into work.
Oh, okay, okay.
This is so good.
I'm really jealous.
I am jealous as fuck.
I should have just done it myself.
Please, God, let this be satire.
Oh, man.
I got so mad just reading this.
What a lib.
This has got to be a joke.
Oh, that's from the same dude.
Oh, White Sox Dave.
I will not take this bait.
Good for him.
Good for him.
I'm going to pull the tweet.
Can we have the Barstool Man account retweeted?
Yeah.
We should have had you hang a mask on the album.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, you should have been wearing a mask.
Oh, shit.
Rookie mistake.
Mask and the head shield.
A shield.
I have details of one trade Kate and I have made.
So Kate sent me the 20,000 pounds to lift,
and I sent a future unprotected punishment to Kate for the task.
But not the cloud.
But not stinky cloud.
Not the cloud.
I'm sorry for this, Kate.
Okay.
Thank you.
That's okay.
That was Kate's life just flashed before her eyes.
Yeah, oh, my God. I'm not for this, Kate. Okay. Thank you. That's okay. That was Kate's life just flashed before her eyes. Yeah, oh my God.
I'm not feeling that.
I'd love to trade.
This person commented,
bought an isolation chamber from my office desk a few weeks ago.
My coworkers tried to have it removed.
Can't wait to show them this.
I can't tell who's fucking around.
I know.
Oh, there we go.
So this is from 13 weeks ago.
Retains rights.
First ever punishment trade in the history of the wheel.
Of course, the wheel chose Kate to lift roughly 20,000 pounds total over the course of today's show.
She then elected to give that punishment to Stephen Che in return for an unprotected future punishment of Che's down the line.
Now, sources are telling me that both parties were initially discussing a straight up swap in this deal that would include Stephen Che's stinky cloud punishment
that's been on hold for almost two months now.
It would have been Stephen Che gets the 20,000 pounds,
Kate gets the stinky cloud,
but neither side could agree on those terms.
Stephen Che loves to get a whiff.
Thank you, Connor.
I don't dread the stinky cloud.
Oh, no!
Which side won this trade.
It's going to be hard to tell,
because we have no idea what is going to be in store for Kate
when she ultimately gets that punishment from Che.
So we'll cross that road when we get there.
But until then, let's see if Stephen Che
can handle 20,000 pounds on today's show.
Shout out, Connor.
I mean, that was incredible.
Cleared everything up.
He is our he is our
memory yeah i don't fear the stinky cloud at all i stand by that i don't you seemed a little
hesitant when we were saying it i i the terms are different if it's like 10 minutes that's fine
like whatever yeah i think that's what it was i I don't know what else. I mean, we're not going to make you stay in it for like two hours.
Yeah.
We could.
Don't throw up in it, and then we're fine.
You might throw up in it.
You might throw up in it.
I might throw up in it, yeah.
But that would suck.
Which would be awesome.
I mean.
If I have to throw up tomorrow, I will throw up in it.
No, don't do that.
Why?
You don't get to decide.
I mean, I'm not going to get a throw up tent.
I'm confused.
Does he not know the rules to Stinky Cloud?
Sounds like he doesn't know the rules to Stinky Cloud.
Let's be realistic here.
He doesn't.
Nick, are you hearing this?
What's up?
He doesn't.
He says I can't throw up into the Stinky Cloud.
Does the throw-up stink?
Yeah.
Well, then yes.
The only rule is that the item stinks. It can't have any pleasant
aroma. If your throw up smells good,
no.
I'm going to throw up in a stinky cloud.
Don't do it.
I used to get those elementary school wood chips that made it even worse.
Remember when a kid would throw up and the chips
made the smell?
How often does that happen?
Maybe once.
It happens pretty often.
The wood chips?
The janitor would come in and sprinkle the vomit with stuff that made the room smell like ten times worse.
I don't know.
I'm going to take just a shit in there.
Yeah.
We should all just take a shit.
I would take a shit in his mouth.
We should all just pile up our shits.
I would take it right in his nose.
The guy who can't take shits in places that are not his home is going to take a shit.
Damn, Nick.
B-Y-O-P.
Bring your own
boop.
You said P, I thought you said B.
No. Come on, bro.
Jay, do you think you could
get 30 minutes in there?
Honestly, I don't really want to do it after the case race tomorrow,
but if I have to, 10 minutes is a reasonable punishment.
We could probably agree on 15 then.
So excited.
I might go to sleep right after the Bulls game tonight
to get my rest for tomorrow.
We've got to pick face paint still.
Oh, yeah.
Reminder.
Yeah, let's see how we feel about this object generator.
Ooh, I'll throw out a deal to everyone.
How about Nick and I are a team,
as long whoever is the losing team finishes last.
No.
No.
If it's Nick and myself, I'll add on on five minutes and i'll be in there for 15 minutes
if not someone has to join for two minutes no wait if we lose if we lose but if any other team loses
yeah all right no i'll throw it oh yes no no this has to be a fair
runner's brain i'm gonna brain. Runner's brain.
I'm going to be using that for a month.
And I'd say I'd throw it, but as soon as I started, that competitive itch.
A month from now, I'm going to be like, oh, that's my bad.
I ran a mile in April.
What if we do anything but win?
Oh, I like that.
No.
You got to win.
No, because we're not favored.
Yes, we are.
What?
I had nine and a half. You had eight. You No, because we're not favored. Yes, we are. What? I had nine and a half.
You had eight.
You guys are one of the strongest teams.
We're a solid team, but I don't think that we're favored.
That doesn't benefit us.
I think we're the favorite.
No, I think TJ and Zaha.
I think Big Cat and Kate.
I think.
No, Big Cat.
Just naming teams.
Yeah, yeah.
Harry and Hank.
One team you didn't name, and it's me and Hank.
I just said you and Hank.
And I think you guys are probably like...
Yeah.
I think Hank's going to show...
Me and Hank are taking it easy.
You never know.
The newcomers to the case race, they go hard.
Yeah, they do.
Hank's got to show something.
And Hank's unfireable.
He can say whatever he wants.
Can, yeah.
Should we get Hank in here?
Where is he?
For his face paint, yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
That generator sucked.
Can we do like a character generator?
Should we do like a movie generator and pick a theme?
Yeah, yeah.
I feel like a theme is fun.
Yeah.
Like if you get Pirates of the Caribbean, you have to.
Whatever from Pirates of the Caribbean.
It's like objects don't really do it.
What about if we could figure out a way, should we call Brandon and just get his 10 favorite
things?
And we all get that?
Yeah.
Because it's his birthday.
Yeah.
The movierankings.net database has a random movie generator.
Oh, yeah.
I like that.
That's a good idea.
Okay.
Yeah.
TJ, are we good with Sass's theme tomorrow?
Yeah, it should be arriving today.
Sass said do whatever you want for decoration.
So me and Nick handled it.
What is it going to be? I don't know.
Gotta wait and see.
I'm excited.
A surprise party?
No.
Okay, so movie generator and then you get
to pick maybe three random movies
and then you gotta pick a character
from those movies.
Might be tough if it's not. we narrow it down to yeah like animation yeah cartoon yeah I feel like cartoon might be the like you don't want to be
like you know Ray Liotta from Goodfellas
but you could actually yeah you could make it.
No, you could do anything.
Like, you're like a good fellow.
You could be like, yeah, make like a scar on my face or something.
Yeah.
That's true.
Don't know that one.
I've never seen that.
Don't know that one.
Nope.
Nope.
Oh.
All right, all right.
All right.
Why don't we do this?
Well, let's just randomize until we get enough that we can put it on a wheel. And we'll just do that. Toy Story should right, all right. Why don't we do this?
Let's just randomize until we get enough that we can put it on a wheel.
We'll just do that.
Toy Story should be on the wheel.
Yeah, Toy Story. Toy Story's on the wheel.
Let's just keep going.
We'll get five, and then we'll wheel for the teams.
Yeah.
I like this.
So Toy Story.
So me.
Che, who would you want to be?
In Toy Story So me Che who would you want to be? In Toy Story?
Yeah
Ooh Iron Will
What the fuck is that?
Just be a wolf
A wolf and a man
Boy
Is it a boy?
It's a dog sledding movie right?
Alright keep going
Maybe one of the aliens
I don't know
They got every movie
Is that good?
No
Yes Rugrats Rugrats go wild I don't know. They got every good.
Yes, Rugrats.
Rugrats go wild.
Put that on there.
What would you do for a face paint?
I would do Chucky Finster's Saturn shirt. Yeah, you could be the dog.
Or the dog.
Yeah.
You're right.
It could be like an allusion to an item of clothing.
You can decide, and then we'll unveil it all.
A reptar.
A reptar bar.
So don't say what you're going to be, because then we'll unveil it.
It'll be good.
Okay.
But that's the Wild Thornberries as well.
Sean the Sheep movie.
All right, that's fine.
Do you want to do Sean the Sheep movie?
What is in that?
I don't know.
Jeff gave it an 83.
I don't know if we can do the sheep.
Yeah, the sheep. I loved this movie. That was quite the sheep. Oh, no, you can't do Sean the Sheep movie? What is in that? I don't know. I don't know if we can do the sheep. Yeah, the sheep.
I loved this movie.
That was quite the sheep.
Oh, no, you can't do the sheep.
Okay.
Okay, never mind.
That's not a sheep.
That is a black death.
Sean the Sheep is out.
Dude, if you just do that with cotton on your head.
EJ and Saw get it.
And by me.
Good ass movie.
Oh.
Throw that on there.
Throw that on there.
Not doing it.
1993.
Put that on there.
No, not doing that.
One of the towers.
Jeez, this is a bad idea.
Okay. Oh, yeah. Yep. Oh, yeah. Oh. Willy. One of the towers. Jeez, this is a bad idea. Okay.
Oh, yeah.
Yep.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
You, KB, and Nick are hoping for this one.
I want it.
I want it so I don't pick what you want.
We'll see.
Blue face, baby.
Oh, that's your movie KB Foxcatcher
Foxcatcher
They gave non-stop
A 30 out of 100
There's no Sean the Sheep
Yeah
Yep
Brokeback Mountain
Yep
You just paint a dude
Fucking another dude on me.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah?
I don't know this movie.
I don't know it.
It's just like Superman, right?
All right, throw an extra one on just that way we have six options for five teams.
We'll go one more.
You guys should have been trying to guess the movies this whole time.
Oh, all right, all right, all right.
Fellas.
Oh, that was close.
That was close.
That was really close.
A Good Burger.
Oh, a comedy.
Close. Super, a comedy. Pretty close.
Super Bad.
Titanic.
Should we put Archdog on there?
We already have an animal one.
Yeah, we do.
What's a movie in my brain's blank?
Forrest Gump.
A Year Without a Santa Claus.
Throw that one up there.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, holiday, Christmas.
All right, so we'll spin for teams.
Or spin, let's just do, like who wants to go first?
Me and Che.
All right.
Che and Nick, this will be your theme.
All right. All right.
All right.
Justice League.
Cool.
Superheroes.
Yeah.
All right.
You want to go, KB?
Yes.
KB in Rogue.
Rogue.
Toy Story.
Perfect.
All right, Kate and I can go.
Eat the skull from Sid's shirt.
I was going to think Sid's dad or Sid's shirt.
Who's Sid's dad?
You can hear him from upstairs.
Or just write Andy poorly on your face. Oh, yeah.
All right, Kate and I.
What's this one?
You're Without Santa Claus.
You're Without Santa Claus.
Oh, a holiday.
Assassin Rowan.
Assassin Hank.
Assassin Hank.
Please be broke, my God. I'm the gay joker, babe Rugrats go wild
And then
You got Rugrats go wild
Me and Hank
Zahn, TJ, we last
Yeah
Hey, Zahn Pause Pause Yeah Hey Zah
Pause
Pause
Oh broke
Big pause
If you can't figure out what to make
If she can't do it then just do the
What was the last one
Wait what did Zah get
Brokeback Mountain with TJ
Pause
You gotta do it Gotta find You got to do it.
Got to find a way to do it.
Did you get a horse?
Yeah.
You get a cowboy hat?
Cowboy.
I think cowboy.
You guys kissing?
Less of that.
This face paint is going to make you gay, brother.
Oh, there we go.
Oh, my God. Holy fuck. I don't like that. Oh, my God.
Holy fuck.
That's terrifying.
I don't like that.
Oh, my God.
That's super unsettling.
Yeah, it's bad.
All right.
Well, tomorrow's a big day.
Yeah.
So we'll do a one-hour react tomorrow.
We'll break our streak.
Mm-hmm.
And then Case Race 4.
Is it Case Race 4?
Yeah.
Case Race 4.
We're going to tape it tomorrow night it will air on friday
everyone please subscribe let's try to get a shitload of numbers for it
get ready for your stinky cloud steven sweet all right we'll see you next time. Time to talk shop and do a Yankees love is the act.
It's the act.