The Yak - Brandon is a Psycho, Allan is Cool | The Yak 3-6-23
Episode Date: March 6, 2023New Mintzy sound unlockedYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, P.J., hold that up. It's the act.
It's the act.
It's time to talk shop.
We're doing Yankees love.
It's the act.
Hello.
Hey, guys.
I miss you guys a lot.
Hi.
What's up?
Missed you back.
We got Full House, Sass, Roan, KB, Titus is here.
Kate has had an appointment.
Nick and Alan.
I just don't see why this is a big deal.
Alan's here.
Do you want to blur your face?
Should we blur your face? We talked about this on Friday.
Should we blur your face, Alan?
No.
I'm Brandon.
Choosing a different name is weird. Yes. Should we blur your face, Alan? No. I'm Brandon. Choosing a different name is weird.
Yes.
And blurring your face.
Choosing a different name wasn't my choice.
Jeff told me to choose a different name.
He said be Alan.
And I probably watched live five to seven games.
That's fine.
You just breezed past the Alan part.
Yes.
It wasn't my choice.
I'm going to offer Alan his weird.
What was the discussion there?
It's not cheating.
Just be yourself. I said, hey, I want to watch your show. He said, all right, well, I'm going to put you in there. Don't my choice. Camera off. What was the discussion there? It's not cheating. Just be yourself.
I said, hey, I want to watch your show.
He said, all right, well, I'm going to put you in there.
Don't weird him out.
And I'll call yourself Alan and turn your camera off.
I said, okay.
Smart by me to be like, we're on a live mic right now before the show starts.
Who's this guy in the room?
Me and Tommy were just chilling.
Why do you have to watch the show?
Right.
Why can't you just wait until it's on
YouTube? What's the difference in watching the show live
and watching it recorded? There is none. Exactly.
That's the point. You keep saying that.
Why would I watch something Thursday? It's edited, so you don't
have to look through all the bullshit.
Why watch something Thursday if I can watch it Monday?
Because you need to know
everything that's going on with the dozen
and get your hands in every little thing. I wanted to watch.
I felt like I didn't have nothing to do that night. And he writes questions for other teams. So that's going on with the dozen and get your hands in every little thing. I wanted to watch. I felt like I didn't have nothing to do that night.
And he writes questions for other teams.
So that's clearly dozen rigged.
I've been show adjacent from the beginning.
I've been part of the show from the beginning.
Why would you lie about it?
Why would you lie about it?
I haven't lied about it.
This is all fine.
As soon as you made the decision to be Allen, now we have the right to be weirded out.
Yes.
Allen wasn't my choice.
Have you ever heard anybody talking about you in the pregame?
I'm not there to do that.
And usually I don't even pay attention to the game starts.
Oh, you're not there to do that.
I don't pay attention to the game starts.
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, right.
Who the fuck is this, Allen, dude?
I said, we were, the dozen goes the same way every time when you do it on Zoom.
First, like, 10, 15 minutes, everyone's joining, we're shooting the shit, talking about whatever's
going on in Barcelona.
I was like, hold on a second.
Like, who's this Alan guy?
And I was like, Alan, reveal yourself.
And then there was a nice long pause where he was panicking behind the scene.
I couldn't figure out how to turn my camera.
And then he finally revealed it and I was like, get him the fuck out.
Is this on video?
Jeff probably has it. I was like, show me who fuck out. Is this on video? Jeff probably has it.
I was like, show me who Alan is.
I couldn't figure out how to turn my camera back on.
That's a normal thing to be like, there's someone I don't.
I don't understand why this is weird.
I know Gooch is in there.
I know Gooch.
If you didn't think it was weird, you wouldn't have been Alan.
I didn't.
Who's Alan?
Why did Jeff do it, then?
I don't know.
He knows it's a weird thing.
Alan.
I'm just going to be Brandon from now on.
It's going to be Brandon.
Was it two N's?
No, it was two L's.
No, it was A-L-L-A-N.
Oh, that's weird.
That's weird too.
Alan with two N's.
Is there a last name?
Do you pick a last name?
Just Alan.
He role played the entire thing.
Alan.
Oh, that makes it so much worse if it was Alan.
Brandon, that is so weird.
That is so weird.
There's nothing weird about this.
It would have been way better if it was like a goofy name.
Yeah, right.
Alan's like a standard.
It's like Pedro or, yeah.
Let me show you where he said be Alan.
You are truly an incognito.
Oh, I don't.
No, I don't.
I do not want to see.
You have a burner account.
Oh, you're just going to put all the heat on me?
You're not cheating, and it's not an unfair advantage.
Why do you have to hide?
Right.
Bring it right.
You're Alan.
You could have just done, like, username.
You don't even need a name.
iPad.
Yeah.
He still would have asked who username is.
Yeah, I would have, but at least I would have been, like, Alan.
That's like, I picture you.
You should always have another name.
Alan.
Have you always liked the name Alan?
Like, is that what you choose?
I didn't choose the goddamn name Alan.
I'm throwing Jeff under the bus. Yeah, you asked what Jeff's name is. Why did Lowe do it? Why do y'all keep liked the name Alan? I didn't choose the goddamn name Alan! I'm throwing Jeff under the bus.
Why did Lowe do it?
Why did Lowe do it?
Alan.
I don't know why he chose Alan.
We all agree
that it's not a big deal, but that's exactly
why it's such a big deal.
Right, it's weird. We all agree
with what you're saying, that it's not a big deal
at all, but that's exactly what's so weird about it.
Right.
If it was just Brandon sitting there, I would have been like,
why is Brandon here?
And Brandon would have been like, because I'm so obsessed with the dozen,
it's all I think about.
I get so anxious.
I've got to watch everyone else.
I know that.
And I would have been like, okay, that makes sense.
Right, exactly.
What would you have done if you were a phone-a-friend?
What would you have done if someone called you?
So the only time, it only happened once while I was watching.
I've only watched like five or six.
Well, Alan was watching.
So it's only happened once, and it was the easiest question in the history of the dozens.
Well, how do we know?
Because I can tell you what question it was.
Yeah, every question is the easiest question when you have Google.
I don't Google.
But that's your spell.
You don't know Alan.
Do you Google or does Alan Google?
Yeah, you were talking on the phone while watching it.
What's the official punishment, by the way, for this?
There is no crime.
You turn into Alan when you log on, Shane.
You got a whole different personality.
There's no crime.
Why would there be a punishment?
Lifetime ban.
Lifetime ban.
There is no crime, but do you find yourself, does it feel a little hypocritical that you
were clamoring for Brandon Miller to be suspended at Alabama
and now you won't suspend yourself?
Took a gun to a murder.
Suspend yourself.
Suspend yourself.
I don't even know who I'm talking to right now.
Am I talking to Brandon or Alan right now?
My world was rocked.
Is Brandon in there, Alan?
It's harmless when we talk to Brandon.
Log in off camera.
At the bare minimum, you need to suspend Alan.
Right?
At the bare minimum, Alan has to be done watching. Does that say log in off camera. At the bare minimum, you need to suspend Alan. Yeah. Right? At the bare minimum, Alan has to be done watching.
Does that say log in off camera as Alan?
Are you willing to do that, Brandon?
Why didn't you say why?
I don't know.
Are you willing to do that?
No, you probably loved it.
You need to suspend Alan.
Yeah.
Alan no longer gets to watch.
I love Alan. He gets to watch it like everyone else.
I love Alan, too.
I don't want to kill Alan.
Oh, Alan, fuck Alan.
I heard that's the way you can pass a polygraph test is by creating an alter ego for yourself
so you can always convince yourself that the alter ego is the one that was doing those things rather than you.
I mean, Alan likes to chill and watch a dozen.
Jesus Christ.
Fuck bitches on the road.
Yeah.
Murder homeless people. Y'all don't want to piss Alan off either. Fuck bitches on the road. Murder homeless people.
Y'all don't want to piss Alan off either.
Alan's a wild card.
I don't give a fuck about it.
I hope Alan gets hit by a bus.
If you're watching right now, we wouldn't know.
I hope Alan kills himself.
Alan's too strong mentally to do that.
I like Alan.
What is it, TJ?
What are you waving?
There's the ad.
Oh, go ahead.
Do it, Alan.
Actually, Brandon Candy's wearing a competitor. Oh, good job. He's a ad. Oh, go ahead. Do it, Alan. Actually, Brandon Candy's wearing a competitor.
Oh, good job.
It's a Mississippi State shirt.
Is that a performance piece of...
This is a Mississippi State shirt.
It's performance wear.
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All right, now that we got Alan out of the way.
I didn't know we were done yet
We can keep going with that
I would love to keep going on Alan
I do have two confessions I'd like to reveal to the group
Because I've missed you guys so much
Confession one
Stephen Che is out this week
So I can do this right now
I was just looking for him
He's not in there
Stephen Che has never been happier in his entire life
uh than the combine trip and this is gonna sound really sappy and stupid but I was happy
seeing him happy realizing his dreams as a NFL draft analyst I still hate him he still bothers me
but there were some good friendship moments where he was smiling and i was like this is cool
seeing how happy he is he's reached exit velocity where he's so much the worst that he's the best
right him meeting schefter well yeah what was there was a sentimental moment that made you
realize this what was it so there's a couple schefter uh he got to sit in on that interview
watch it and then we did a coffee talk where I allowed Steven
to do three questions. See you, Alan.
Three questions
with
Schefter and of course, Steven's
first question, I was like, you have three questions
to ask Adam Schefter. And his first
question was, how much
does it say your screen time is?
And I was like, that was such a waste of a question.
If you boil it down, it's because he wants to be like Schefter.
He's like, okay, if I can get my screen time to that number,
I could be good.
But he did, I will tease it,
he did ask about breaking world news to Schefter.
So that was good.
Yeah, the point.
And then we went to, so in Indy at the Combine,
there's like a bar that basically all the NFL media goes to some coaches.
So like the Bucks GM was there.
So he basically was just standing next to us being like, oh, my God, there's Rich Eisen.
Oh, my God, there's Jeff Darlington.
So and he was just smiling ear to ear.
It was very fun.
I was happy to see him happy.
And he said, like, that was the best professional week of his life
so i will never say any of these things to his face yeah i'm glad he's out ever never let him
know my weakness here jay strikes me as a guy that would get more starstruck by a gm or an adam
oh yeah absolutely adam shepter was like an actual then like if aaron rogers walked in or something
he'd be like an actual player yeah no i think. Yeah, no, I think you're right. He wants to be Adam Schefter.
What was his caption on that picture with Schefter?
Was it like, they say never meet your heroes, but that person never idolized Adam Schefter?
Was that the quote?
I definitely did not.
Yeah.
Look at him beaming.
Yeah, that's happiness.
He did the thing where he tweeted that Adam Schefter had followed him.
Oh, really? Yeah. And like, look at this. He did the thing where he tweeted That Adam Schefter had followed him Oh really
Yeah
And like look at this
I saw him like FaceTiming with his wife
Just being like this has been the coolest thing ever
What else made him like gumdrop giddy
Rich Eisen at the bar
He dropped like some deep reference to Rich
He's like I loved your call
Like on SportsCenter in like 1998
And Rich Eisen was like, what?
Great compliment.
Yeah.
Field Yates he talked to for like a half hour.
Arthur Smith walked into the lunch.
And PFT and I are friends with him.
He's coach of the Falcons.
And said hello to us.
And Steve was just like, that was just Arthur Smith.
And we're like, yeah.
No.
So he has that childhood.
It's Disneyland for him.
It's like seeing Mickey Mouse every time.
He'll never lose it.
He'll never lose it.
He is who he is.
And he also, when we got trained to run the 20-yard dash, he was very down to just get fully naked.
Yeah.
That was funny.
That was good.
And then my other confession is I was a bitch on Friday night.
What do you mean?
Bone.
What do you mean?
I puked on the plane.
Yeah, he was throwing up really bad.
We had some insane turbulences.
Actually, someone died because of the turbulence, not on our plane.
Mike and I both puked.
Purity guard Mike.
Damn.
Like the toughest dude of all time.
Yeah.
He was just sitting in the front of the plane screaming, I need a bag.
I need a bag.
I'm going to puke on myself.
I like ran him up a bag and the flight attendant was like, sit down.
Holy shit.
It was chaos.
And then-
Did you get fucked up or no?
I was having, I was like giggling, having the time of my life.
I usually am that guy, but for some reason I think I was sitting backwards, so I puked.
And then I puked on the Uber home.
Ronan and I were driving Uber to home, and I was like, yo, I still got some puke left.
Pulled over, it was raining on the side of the highway.
It's a nightmare.
Puking everywhere.
That sounds terrible.
It was so bad.
What was it, like two in the morning?
Total bitch made, yeah. It was a bad, you had a bad Heineken. It was so bad. What was it, like two in the morning? Total bitch made, yeah.
It was a bad, you had a bad Heineken.
It was bad.
I had some video of it.
What's the best way to get the video?
And we were, and it was, sucked too,
because we were having, we were playing cards.
Yeah.
Cherry and Spider and Roan,
drinking some beers, and just, total bitch.
Somebody died from turbulence?
Yeah, so that kind of vindicated us.
On the same trajectory as us.
They were going from like Vermont down to Maryland. We were coming up from West turbulence? Yeah. So that kind of vindicated us. On the same trajectory as us. They were going from like Vermont down to Maryland.
We were coming up from West Virginia.
Yeah.
How did they die?
They hit their head and bled out.
Oh my God.
Like they popped up out of their seat and hit their head on the top.
I think so.
Like a goose, top gun goose situation?
Yeah.
They didn't release many of the details, but it was-
Shit.
It was like a just constant, like, this.
Is it just because those private planes are so small,
they get the worst turbulence?
No, because Jerry said there was bad turbulence coming out,
and he was on commercial.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Damn.
The person who died was in what?
On what plane?
Private plane.
Okay.
Going down the eastern corridor.
So, like, I guess the whole east coast had crazy turbulence.
Man.
I was a bitch.
You didn't know the person died until after, right?
I found out on Saturday.
I guess it was very stormy on Friday.
I felt tough.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because, like, the turbulence came from me.
Yeah.
And all I did was puke.
All you did was puke.
Same with Mike.
Were you that bad?
Mike is still, Mike is a very tough guy.
And his line, he said it like four times
to me he's like I was fine until
I heard you puking
the fact that you
still puked after you got on the ground though
I know I had motions I've never had motion sickness
once I've skydived before
I've never had motion sickness once in my
life boats anything
skydive make you sick you just fall straight down
my buddy got real bad motion sickness from it.
I was a bitch.
I just wanted to hand up.
Do you have the video?
I'm putting together a like-
Oh, it's videoing it?
I was like-
Of the turbulence?
I was just sitting there being like-
I want to see them all like puke.
I'm all like dry heaving.
I was sitting there being like,
God damn it, Ron's taping all this.
It was like something I could do.
I had to do it.
I know.
You have to.
Were you just sick or were you afraid as well?
I was not afraid at all.
I was just sick.
Some part of you was afraid.
I would have been screaming.
No, I usually like.
Is anyone letting out a scream?
Jerry was very afraid.
Yeah.
Well, Jerry, as we got to Rough and Rowdy,
Jerry came in like two hours before the show just like visibly shook.
He was like, the turbulence was terrible.
I was texting my family. This was on turbulence was terrible. I was texting my family.
This was on the way there.
I was texting my family like, I love you.
Texting my mom and my kids, my mom and shit like that.
And he's like, I'm not flying back.
I'm driving back with Pat.
We convinced him to drive back.
And then just on the way up, it was.
It was crazy.
No, I wasn't scared.
I mean, I was cracking jokes.
I was making Jerry feel.
I was like, Jerry, don't worry.
My life insurance is very good. So I'll be fine if I die.
And he was getting so upset.
He was like, turbulence has never killed someone.
I was like, wind has.
And so he was getting, he was very nervous.
But, yeah, it was a bad scene.
There's a chance Jerry, actually there's not,
but I have this fear of any time I get on a plane
and there's someone famous on the plane,
I hate it because I know if the plane goes down
no one's gonna give a fuck about me
so maybe that was going through Jerry's head was like
if we crash everyone's gonna talk about
Big Cat and Company
also
I also
did tell Jerry because we had
we ended up having a bigger plane so
I offered for like everyone in the green room after to come on the plane,
but I guess people had different arrangements and shit,
so everyone said no, and I turned to Jerry.
I was like, we're going to die because this is the moment
where everyone gets to tell the story like I said no.
It was this close.
I was supposed to be on the plane.
Why is it always West Virginia that gives you all the bad plane trips?
There was a lot of storms.
There was storms, man.
It was fucking nuts.
Yeah, I felt like such a bitch.
That's crazy.
How was the drive from Indy to Charleston?
Easy.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I like getting in the car on my own.
Listen to some tunes.
Get some Andy Capp's hot fries.
Nice.
Twizzlers.
Bugles.
No bugles, Alan.
I like bugles.
You would, Alan.
Yeah.
Brandon likes bugles.
I'm a bitch.
Officially.
The fights were incredible.
Yeah, it was so fun.
Very fun.
Happy that guy didn't die.
These Abel brothers.
They're going after Frank. These Abel brothers are... They're funny as fuck. Very fun. Happy that guy didn't die. These Abel brothers. They're going after Frank.
These Abel brothers are...
They're funny as fuck.
They are.
The big booty daddy.
Love him.
The biggest heel of all time.
He's the best.
Like, everyone just hates his guts.
I love him.
I wanted him to win so bad.
He was only getting paid for a knockout, right?
Yeah.
You know, someone tweeted me.
It was perfect.
It's like Big Dick Booty Daddy is the Greg Hardy of Rough and Rowdy.
You just tune in to Root for him to get knocked out.
He's pretty jacked, too.
He must just do no cardio.
He does have gas within 10 seconds.
He has like three huge left hands and then he's done.
Yeah.
He's like in the best shape out of most of the fighters.
But then he's just like,
he must just not do cardio at all.
It was good fight cards.
That kid who went to the hospital,
he was tough.
That other guy was a warlord.
People were getting mad that we didn't show a replay.
He was seizing very hard on the mat.
Polish Hammer, a beast out of Barnesville, Ohio,
who would have thought they produced pumpkins and combat champions.
Yes.
Wrestling team, bunch of studs.
The kid who said that you and Nick bullied him.
I didn't know him.
He was young.
He was young, yeah.
He was tough.
He was a whippersnapper.
Yeah.
The Masters.
Barnesville known for pumpkins, though?
The Pumpkin Festival. Yeah, it's like Barnesville known for pumpkins, though? The Pumpkin Festival.
Yeah, it's like Barnesville and Circleville, I think, have competed.
Circleville, too.
Yeah, they have been competing.
Who's got a better one?
Who has the better pumpkin?
I don't know how you gauge better.
Is it size?
Is it taste?
Both pride themselves.
I think one has the bigger pumpkin.
If you want to see a big pumpkin, you go to one.
But if you want more of a fun pumpkin, more go to one. But if you want more of a fun pumpkin festival,
you go to the other.
So the first one is...
You go to Barnesville for the size and nothing else.
You don't go there for entertainment.
You go to Circlesville for the patch.
So what is it, Barnesville?
Barnesville, Ohio.
Barnesville is the pumpkin festivals, pumpkins festivals.
Like your favorite pumpkin festival.
Yeah, Norm MacDonald of pumpkins.
Right, right.
And all the casuals go to Circle Cell.
I just threw that up on TikTok, TJ, if you want to find it on TikTok.
It's going to suck to watch back.
I'm pumped to see this.
I am too.
It was supposed to be a tiny plane, and it was a bigger plane.
It was huge.
We had a stewardess.
No, but it's because the tiny plane was too dangerous to be on the tiny plane.
They're like, we sent something bigger because we're going to die.
And we got on, and we were like, this is sick.
We're going to play cards.
That's what kept me calm is that we were all sitting at a four-top table
playing cards with one another.
I felt like I was in the NBA in 1994 or some shit like that.
You and Scotty and Horace just playing some cards.
You know what I mean?
Bill Wennington fucking playing cards with Judd Butchler and shit.
Don't let Kukoc play.
The worst plane ride of my life.
Oh, it's eerie.
Did you throw up?
Yeah, it is.
I used all the towels
Why is Robbie by himself yeah, then Jerry started gagging
Mike throwing up up there. Yeah that in front of the plane? Yeah.
Made it.
And then just take it. That's the other side of the highway.
Oh, that's the other side of the highway.
Damn, you could really see it was shaking.
But it's going to be hard to derive sympathy when you're on a private plane.
Yeah, that's true.
That is true.
Got a feel for these guys.
He was able to sprint to the bathroom.
The unoccupied bathroom.
It's free Heineken didn't go down well.
He could lay on the floor for a little bit.
I threw up in my mouth in the Uber.
You probably caught that, Roan, because I was like, I got to pull over.
And it took him a few seconds.
We were having a good conversation.
You just started to get quiet slowly.
I was like, pull over.
You couldn't even tell the guy to pull over.
I was telling him, pull over here, here.
I was just trying to swallow my own vomit.
Yeah, we're warriors.
Tough life, you know.
People think this is easy. Vomit. Oh. Yeah. We're warriors. Tough life, you know. Yeah.
People think this is easy.
I like how Spider was just smiling the whole time.
He was so bad at the car game. He's an airplane guy.
He knows, like, you're just suspended in Jell-O.
That's just not going to knock you out of the sky.
Mike, though, in the front, he was just yelling at the stores.
He was in the car game at first.
He was like, I got to bow out.
Yeah, he bowed out of the car game because he was getting sick he was just screaming at the
stores i need a bag i'm gonna throw up on myself and she was like i can't get out of my seat oh
jesus christ oh fuck so what have you guys been up to
how much nick got these fucking new shoes that I can't stop looking at.
Oh, let me see.
These aren't new at all.
Let me see.
They're just Pumas.
New to me.
Hell yeah.
Those are fucking great, bro.
Thank you.
Those are sick.
I wish I got the chance to tell you.
Oh, thank you, man.
I felt cool.
I wore them once, and somebody posted online, like, what types of shoes are these?
And another guy answered.
And then another guy was just like, why do you want to know? Those suck.
Oh.
See, I got different
colorways for the Air Monarchs.
These are cool. I didn't know they came in green.
These are like every Notre Dame
father has.
Gold underneath.
Brandon, are those your shoes you
wear on the street?
Correct. I bring them in my bag and then when I get here, I't wear on the street? Correct. The soles.
I bring them in my bag, and then when I get here,
I put them on like Mr. Rogers.
Okay.
So those are the ones I shouldn't –
No, you should not step on.
Got it.
What does Alan think of those?
Got it.
They can't.
You had Brandon on your show, episode one.
How was the chemistry?
I thought it went all right.
He tried to hijack the show, as he does.
He did not try to hijack the show.
We were talking about SEC basketball.
I thought we had a pleasant time together.
I thought so, too.
I was just being, like, objectively.
Like, I did sort of.
Hijacked.
I mean, like, if you watch it on YouTube, I'm sitting in my chair for, like, every segment.
But then when I'm talking to Brandon, I moved to a different chair.
Yeah.
Brandon, like, came in the room and just immediately took over my chair.
Alan Bin Laden.
Yeah.
Okay.
I feel like that's –
I'm just stating facts, Brandon.
I feel like that's on you to say, hey, don't sit in that chair.
That's my chair for the show.
It probably is.
But, you know, like, I'm new to Barstool, and I don't want to, like –
Well, what about former Brandon Walker Show producer T.J. Hitchings,
who's now been hijacked by the Mark Titus Show?
What a hijacker.
He could have told me.
He could have, yeah.
I'm not – I didn't mean to start anything.
I don't want to make this a thing.
I was just stating.
I enjoyed it.
I thought it was a great time talking ball.
I did, too.
And you're welcome that on Sunday I drove in and brought my son.
It is hilarious, though, how many people, how many friends and family I have that are
reaching out that are just like, what's the deal with this Brandon guy?
That's all they say.
But it's mostly positive.
Mostly positive, yeah.
What was his demeanor on the show?
Was he surly?
Was he bellicose?
He was affable.
Yeah, I thought you were fine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was very affable.
Yeah.
Would you say I was affable?
I would say so, yeah.
You're a good guest to have on pods.
You are good, yeah.
Yeah.
I had a great time on anus.
Son of a boy dad went well.
Yes. Yeah. Really good. For you. It are good, yeah. I had a great time on anus. Son of a boy dad went well. Yeah, really good.
Not for you.
It was good for us.
Oh, it got me in trouble.
Yeah, that's right.
I forgot about that.
Yeah, subscribe to the Mark Titus Show.
A big story out of the SEC in basketball.
There was an act of forgiveness porn.
Oh, yeah.
On behalf of Ben Mintz accepting an apology.
I don't get this one at all.
I'm struggling to get this one as well.
I specifically didn't look into this.
I looked into it and more confused.
Yeah, I wanted to hear it now on the act.
So what happened?
So, I mean, the Storm Chasers, Tommy, Glennie, Donnie and company,
tried to go to a game at Ole Miss,
and they got kicked out by security, said you're not allowed in the student section.
They got kicked out of the student section?
They got kicked out, yeah, it seemed a little bit hostile.
There was no –
But Donnie also goes – he goes hostile.
He'll, like, try and make it a little bit –
I bet you they did, yeah.
Donnie will go, like, to a point of argument or, like, he'll kind of give it a hard time, I bet you they did, yeah. Donnie will go to a point of argument,
or he'll kind of give it a hard time,
just kind of from us getting arrested, going limp.
We weren't really, I think he has that trained in his brain
that he's just like, what the fuck?
But we want to be here.
So then Zod...
Zod tweeted some things, and I looked back,
and they weren't even that beloved.
Ole Miss may be the worst college I've stepped foot on.
Students were okay, but their staff were moving like I'm Bin Laden.
I've never had tighter security in my life.
I'll never go back to Oxford, Mississippi again because of their officials.
Uh-huh.
It just seems.
And everyone was like, this is shameful.
Okay.
Yeah.
No one really.
There was a few Ole Miss fans that were like, hey, man,
it would cost them a lot of money.
That's why they did it.
Wait, so did Zod not get persecuted?
I don't know.
You got a Jussie situation?
So I don't know, because this morning Zod put out a video saying
he basically took it all back.
I stand with Zod whatever direction.
Whatever he decides, I stand with him.
He's overly apologetic, it seems like.
But Ben Mintz did accept his apology.
The way that Mintz accepted it,
and then he was putting out wisdom on the timeline.
I've always felt it's better for people to face things head-on when they're apologizing.
But he was acting like Zaw directly came at Mintzy.
Well, Mintzy speaks for the entire city of Mississippi.
Okay, look.
See, yeah.
The more time that goes by, the more I wish I kept a cooler head.
People make mistakes.
I made a big one yesterday.
Some sincere apologies.
Big one?
Don't kill Zod.
No, you didn't.
I don't think it was a big one.
But look at Mincy's tweets.
Pull up Mincy's tweets.
It's so funny because then Zod releases an apology video.
It's like, what is he apologizing for?
Right.
Yeah, it wasn't much.
He really has got the
apology face nailed.
He's so close to the camera.
I just
cheated on his wife.
Like, what?
I just was not in the right headspace.
He makes it sound horrendous.
He didn't do anything.
They were just like, you can't come down here.
He was probably like, fuck this.
Did Zah say the N-word?
What the hell?
He said Zah's N-word apology.
Yeah, everyone thinks
he did something much worse, Zah.
Zah's N-word apology.
Then Mincy quote tweeted it.
Wait, look at it.
Mincy has like 10 tweets out.
Really?
They're all like,
I'm very proud.
I accept Zah's apology.
Once we had the heart-to-heart,
I couldn't help but accept his said it
Zaha called me and we had a big heart to
heart mistakes were made but I respect
him owning it still one of my favorite
people at bar so he was genuinely
crushed on the phone I accepted his
apology why why is he accepting the
apology there's more there's more tweets
what did he apologize for what did Zod do aside from the tweets?
Nothing.
Are we sure?
I don't think so.
I don't know.
This is the vaguest controversy ever.
Yeah.
Like, what the fuck is going on?
Like, I think Zod was made to feel bad.
You've got to see Mincy's other tweets.
He takes it to a whole other level.
I'm embarrassed.
Whoever these security guards were
need to be seriously re-evaluated
for making you feel this way.
There's nothing I can do other than say I'm sorry
you had this experience and that most Ole Miss people
are good people.
Why is he forgiving Zaw?
That was before.
That was last night.
Mistakes were made.
What is he talking about?
So Zod basically just was like, fuck these people?
He was probably drunk and got mad that they wouldn't let him down closer.
But that was days ago.
It was days ago.
So he was annoyed over something that happened on Tuesday, and he finally aired it out.
And then maybe he was made to feel badly that he aired it out or something like that.
But I don't think he should have been if it was his experience.
Minty tweeted, I have made some really big
mistakes in my past life, and the number one
lesson I have learned
is people respect
facing them head on. The cover-up is often
worse than the crime.
What is the cover-up and what is the crime?
It's all going to lead to Minty
admitting to something terrible.
I know.
What are you talking about?
This reminds me of that time I killed a dog.
Can we talk to Zara?
Yeah, we have to talk to him.
What are we missing?
Because I don't think I want to learn.
I like being in the dark.
I kind of want to talk to just Mincy.
I want to talk to Mincy, too.
Yeah.
It's big of him to absolve From recanting
Yeah we should actually
Let's call Mincy
And try to talk him out of
Accepting the apology
Yeah
You can't accept this man
It's just re-evaluate
Like he went after
Wronged you
That shit was beyond the pale
Did he put out a video response
Mincy
I don't think so
I'm sure there's one on the way.
It's only 1230 down there.
I don't want to tell the storm chasers how to do their job, but it seems
like a constant theme when you
go to an SEC school. It's SEC.
You get pushback. I don't understand it.
Mississippi State was really
welcoming. It's the $250,000
fine. Nice people, yeah. But
$250,000 is nothing to these SEC schools.
That's what people are saying.
They're like, we just fired our coach.
It's been a terrible season.
Why would we want to pay this money?
I think there's also mixed messages from some of the schools.
Like Arkansas last year, their coaching staff was like, come, come, come.
And then their police force kind of had a different tune that they were singing.
So I don't know.
I would, if I was advising them, I would just say.
You should advise them, though.
You literally should be like their advisor next year. You should advise them, though. You literally should be their advisor next year.
Yeah, I should, yeah.
You literally just should.
That's not a bad idea.
I feel like you should just help them map a route or something like that.
Be like, this school is situationally better.
This school needs it.
What was the situation?
Was it Arkansas where you couldn't get in?
You couldn't get in, yeah.
We flew to Colorado, and they were cool with it.
That was awesome.
And they were cool with it. Yeah. But UConn, they weren't cool with it just go to indiana every game yeah go to
whoever's playing purdue yeah they're gonna get upset if iu beats a ranked team at home they're
storming the course so just like go to bloomin every game i also want to see them next year do
like small schools i think that'd be cool, the next iteration.
Yes, I think that we should get creative as possible about it.
Can we start this before the final week of the season? You should literally be their conciliary.
You should be in charge of it.
I don't know if that's a bad word, but you should be in charge of it.
This should go for a record.
That should be like the campaign.
It's like we're going to try to storm most Get it going early. Most times in a college basketball.
What is the record?
How many have you done in a season?
Two, three?
I think two.
We did two each year.
And then I caught like a Temple one right after.
So I had like three and five days or something like that.
You should split up and do it as a competition.
That would be cool too.
I think that there's a lot of – there's a high ceiling for Storm Chaser.
I think it's interesting content. It's always tough when it
changes hands. I know.
There are a lot of people saying it's not like the old days.
We got one though, and they were in the locker room
of TCU. Yeah, exactly.
It's kind of weird that it's only unique to college
sports. That there's
no other level of sport where
you storm. Yeah. The Little League World
Series, the parents aren't like running out onto the field.
Yeah.
No high school game do they start like, you know.
It would be cool if it was like, yeah, NFL.
NFL, that never happens if you want to.
Swim meets would rock.
People are dying.
You guys ever seen Quake in the pool?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You know where they do it?
And I've been seeing this on my TikTok algorithm a lot.
Harlem.
Strictly Quake.
Yeah.
They own the Quake.
No, they storm at, like, South African rugby matches in high school.
They'll, like, fucking storm the pitch or whatever, storm the field.
And have you gotten this in their algorithm?
They had high school rugby.
Dude, it's so fire.
They have rugby and field hockey, and they have like –
they're like the student sections are the rowdiest student sections I've seen in any sport.
I have not seen this.
It's so fire.
TJ, I got to send you some of these just because they're so fucking –
they're just so rowdy.
They're just like remixing American songs to play on –
and to make their school chants line up with.
I got to kick you some of these, TJ.
Yeah, it is so much fun.
And they're probably beasts at rugby down there.
Oh, yeah.
They have good rivalries.
South Africa.
South Africa school chants.
It's going nuts.
Zealanders are doing.
We vet these chants.
I vetted them.
Thank you, brother.
Titus and I went to a concert last night.
What?
Yeah, it was a good time.
Very good time.
What show?
Grateful Shred at Brooklyn Bowl.
Bowling Alley.
Oh, yeah.
I've been there.
What's Grateful Shred?
It's a Grateful Dead cover band. They were really good. They're fucking awesome. They, I've been there. What's Grateful Shred? Yeah. Grateful Dead cover band.
They were really good.
They're fucking awesome.
They were really, really good.
Did you see the guys handing out whippets?
Oh, outside after.
It's called fatties.
Yeah.
That's a Brooklyn Bowl thing, because when I went there, there was a bunch of balloons
on the ground.
Yeah, there were guys just, yeah, they were just like, they were just coming up to me.
They're like, do you want whippet?
And I'm like, are we doing this?
Yeah, and it was also like a- Is this obvious? Sunday after the show. Yeah, it was Sunday night, yeah, they're just like, they're just coming up to me. They're like, do you want Whippet? And I'm like, are we doing this? Yeah, and it was also like a Sunday after the show.
Yeah, it was Sunday night.
I was like, okay.
So you did them?
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, I did a lot.
I did all of them.
Fucking took them all down.
Ice cold patties.
No, it was a good time.
It was cool.
It was also like felt like, not dangerous, but like wrong to be at a concert on a Sunday night.
It's like, what are we doing?
This is badass.
Where were you situated?
Like on the bowling alley part?
No, we were just standing in the back.
There was only probably about 250 people, but you could hear the people bowling in the background.
Half of them are in the band.
Yeah, they have like nine people in the band, and they all sing.
So Tommy did find me a $15 million house in Chicago.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that sounds funny.
So we're going to be moving very, very soon.
Nice.
I'm waiting for you guys to join me.
It's not Michael Jordan's house?
No, but we did see it.
That one just keeps going down in price.
We did see it.
Highland Park?
Yeah, it's been able to sell for 12 years. You can't let them cut that mullet. You can't. That thing is out going down in price. We did see it. Highland Park? It's been in the cell for 12 years.
You can't let him cut that mullet.
You can't.
That thing is out of control, man.
What are you talking about?
It's perfectly in control.
Yeah, he's growing it.
How does he cut it?
How does he maintain it?
Just has about once every...
Who's this dude?
That guy came in and sat down,
and then he just came over to walk into the Yaks studio,
and then Dan kicked him out.
Danny made him leave.
Oh, wow.
And as he was leaving, Danny just made him.
Oh, no.
Is there a replay of that?
I watched the whole thing.
He came up to the door.
He came up to the door, and Danny was like, what the fuck are you doing?
This door right here?
Yeah.
Wow.
I guess getting that frosted door has been a bad idea, because you and you don't know who it is and they just let you in.
Yeah, we let him in anyway.
Isn't there a camera?
Oh, is there?
Yeah, there's a camera on the thing.
Anybody manning the camera, though?
I guess Ebony probably is.
Wow, he made it all the way to the door.
Then he walked up to the glass behind a trunk.
Can you ask Danny who that guy was?
Who was that guy, Danny?
He said he just walked in
on some weird shit.
That's the perfect way
to describe it.
He was here for the act.
Oh, no.
He almost made it
all the way.
God damn, he was close.
He got in the door.
Is it that easy?
I think his game plan was when he got in
here. Kill us?
Kill us all?
That's what it felt like.
Is he a menacing looking guy at all?
I'm getting wiped first for sure.
At this angle?
I'm going to need you to...
Do you think Kate would have Survivor Guild if a guy
came in and killed all of us?
She'd apologize for...
She already apologized for everything, but yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry.
She'd go to each and one of our funerals.
Yeah, every single one.
So sorry.
Would we put them all on the same day?
Because that kind of...
That would be sick if we all just got in the same coffin.
Oh, that would be cool.
Piled on.
If we all die together, I think...
Stack us.
Same coffin.
That's fine, yeah.
Or is it wide or is it tall?
I think it's tall.
I think it's wide. I thought the California King, everybody's fine yeah Or is it wide Or is it tall I think it's tall I think it's wide
The California King
Everybody's laying out
Would be kind of dope
Yeah I had a
I think it's
I think it's just a little
Too small
So we have to get
Really smushed in there
Like a phone booth
Like 23 dudes in the phone
Yeah
We cut us up
Play sass in this coffin
Rudy in
And as they lower us We get like a huge in his coffin. That's Rudy in.
Then as they lower us,
we get like a huge whoopee cushion made.
So as it hits the bottom,
it's just a huge fart.
We need to do a fart eliminator of who evacuates their bowels last
after we're involved.
I would love to get buried with you guys.
I'll rock.
Does everybody evacuate their bowels?
Is that, or is it just some folk?
It might just be, I don't know.
I thought there was a wrestler who done did it.
Yeah, I saw that Jerry posted a picture.
Yeah, I didn't like that getting blasted.
Steam, but poor kid.
I know exactly what happened.
Well, yeah, he pushed himself.
Yeah, well, I looked. You got really no wrestling to understand. Well, yeah, he pushed himself. Yeah, well, I look...
You got really no wrestling notice.
Well, this was a pigtail match, so...
You see the shit running down his legs?
It's a dead giveaway.
Yeah.
But I guarantee it was a pigtail match.
It was like a playing game.
It's one of the first to happen that morning.
And I guarantee you he took laxatives to make weight.
And boom.
There's a video of it?
Does it happen a lot, Kyle?
No.
Okay.
No.
He was pretty calm about it.
Which was weird.
Yeah, he was unaffected.
Adrenaline.
I would lean into that, make a joke of it.
What kind of joke do you think?
Like, oh, this is a shitty situation.
Exactly what Jerry did.
The other guy seemed pissed.
Yeah, he probably touched his shit all over him.
Jerry is the best person to handle shitting themselves of all time.
Of all time, yeah.
That was the best way you could have handled shitting yourself,
literally ever.
Is there some sort of penalty for this?
If you're the wrestler that shits all over the match.
He got to finish the match.
He defaulted the match. He went to finish the match. He defaulted the match.
Free weigh-in?
He went back and competed in the consolation rounds.
How many singles do you bring?
Oh, he's a backup?
Usually one.
Oh, shit.
I don't know what he did.
Dang it.
Damn.
Could you be like, I'm just going to fight through.
Like, if he wants to quit, he can.
I don't know how it ended or why, but I mean.
That's brutal.
Just sitting in there.
Snap that pic.
Someone clearly in his own corner snapped that pic.
Oh, yeah.
It's like Roan videoing me puking.
Of course.
He would want that.
He would want that.
Content is king.
Content game.
The game is the game.
Poor bastard.
Damn.
When's the tournament start?
Two weekends from now.
How good is Penn State, bro?
I don't know what the plan is.
You got to go.
I don't know what Jerry's plan is.
Jerry's got to go.
Where is it?
Tulsa.
Send Bennett out there, bro.
Did you guys listen to Francis?
Did you talk about that on Friday?
No, I didn't listen to it.
He brought it up.
He didn't really give us much.
I didn't listen.
I listened.
It was just the whole time I was waiting for something to happen.
Nothing happened.
Yeah.
That's kind of how I pictured it.
I still don't understand why they tried to delete the footage.
I must be getting, I don't get any of the controversies anymore.
Yeah.
What's going on with Selena and Hailey Bieber?
I don't get the... I understand.
I don't get this mean girl.
I don't get the...
You at least understand the Vanderpump Rules stuff, though, right?
That one's pretty easy to grasp, yes.
You saw that shit, bro?
No.
You didn't see what's happening with Vanderpump Rules?
I never got into Vanderpump.
You're missing out, brother.
Fuck.
Is that Canadian?
No.
Or she might be Lisa Vanderpump. Yeah. missing out, brother. Fuck. Is that Canadian? No. Or she might be Lisa Van De Pump.
Yeah.
But it's California.
It's like about these waiters and waitresses and bartenders at a bar in Hollywood.
What's the bar called?
Pump, right?
Pump.
Yeah.
They have another one that's three letters.
Tom Tom.
And then Schwartz and Sandy.
I don't know.
They have a bunch of spinoff bars.
But two guys are opening up their bar
And one of them just
Just fucked a girl
Oh no
It's very rich
Very exciting shit
They were having sex
While in a committed relationship
It's fucking shaking the world
But they're all hot
Yeah they're hot
Just vapid as hell
Just the emptiest brains
It's a joy to watch
I feel like cheating If you're really, really hot.
What are you supposed to do?
Guy or girl?
Most of them are pretty unabashed about it.
You're hot.
Yeah.
Hot people fuck.
They get called out for it.
They're just like, it was what it was.
Yeah, right.
Two hot people, you put us together.
We're going to fuck.
Yeah, exactly.
You could go to any town in America and you'd have bartender storylines like that. Yeah. It's awesome. That's all they're doing. Fucking. Oh, exactly. You could go to any town in America and you'd have bartender storylines like that.
Yeah.
It's awesome.
That's all they're doing.
Fucking.
Oh, yeah.
It's awesome.
Not just bartending.
I think a lot of coworkers in a lot of places are having sex with one another.
Barbacks are the biggest.
Those guys are sluts.
Yeah.
They fuck everybody.
I was a barback.
And the bouncer fucks the bouncer.
Yeah, I was too.
For a while.
I was way too bad. I was for a while.
You weren't.
I remember I got tipped out 20 bucks one night,
and I was like, God damn.
I was pumped about that.
Just carrying a keg up a flight of stairs
as like a 12-year-old.
I was 13 or 14, and I was, yeah, it was a lot of...
Kegs are so heavy.
I wasn't bringing kegs.
I was bringing a lot of cases of beer though.
I was a bar back
at Tony and Cleo's.
I can't tell
if any of this is real.
I remember that,
yeah.
What's real and what's not?
Oh,
I was a bar back.
It's all real.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh,
we lie about this.
I wasn't like,
it wasn't like my full time position
where like there would be days
where like you're bar backing today.
I was a bus boy
is what I was,
but.
Were you a millionaire?
No.
Almost though.
In college, the dude who could pick a fucking keg up by himself
was like the strongest fucking guy.
I was so impressed when a dude could unload a keg himself.
You didn't need two dudes.
I guess I'm just a pussy.
I struggle with the unloading process.
I don't know about it.
Really?
What happened when you had a keg party?
Yeah, I wasn't a part of that.
I would just chip in
Damn
That's some bullshit
Yeah
I remember one time
I was
When I was in
I was probably a senior in high school
And I had a fake ID
And
Me and my buddies were having like
A graduation party or something
But it was like just our friends
And we bought like a shit ton of beer
And
Dude had to wheel it out to our car and i remember
being like 17 and like we were on like a main road in our town i was like dude this is like
this feels so illegal like this dude is wheeling out like boxes of beer to our car to a bunch of
17 year olds and like my buddy who didn't have a fake ID was laying down in the back of the car because we didn't want the guy to see him.
I remember just being in, like panicking so much.
That thrill of getting in trouble.
Did you get in trouble for it?
No, the guy didn't know that we were under,
I don't know how he didn't know we were underage.
He didn't care.
Yeah.
Underage beer, like, don't do it.
Okay, I said it.
Such a thrill.
And also like counting the amount you have.
Been like, all right, we have like 27 beers.
Six of us.
Like we should be okay.
You were probably the most underage looking kid.
Oh, yeah.
You still are underage.
I mean, dude, we were.
I have a picture of when we first got our fake IDs and my buddy went into a store to buy like two racks.
I have that picture. And it's like, dude, I look back on it because he looks like he's
12 years old.
Yeah.
Racks.
Yeah.
And we have like, we had like main IDs and we're the only car in the parking lot and
it's Massachusetts plates on the car.
The dude just didn't feel like getting in a confrontation.
Yeah, probably.
He knew what the fuck it was.
It was very, a very thrilling time though.
When we would buy a bunch of alcohol underage,
different types of alcohol,
we would take pictures and pose in front of it
like it was a cartel drug bust.
I would take pictures just of the rack
and save it on my phone.
Look at how many beers I had.
I'd just be like, this is so cool.
I was a big, like, I had three cases in my shopping cart.
I had to take them. It took up so much in my shopping cart. I had to take it.
It took up so much space in my cart.
In the shopping cart.
Yeah.
Damn.
I have a picture on my phone of the first case of beer I bought when I turned 21.
And it's right at my feet in the car.
And I was like, this is fucking awesome.
That was thrilling, too, because I scanned, the guy scanned my ID, and it did.
I had to individually send my haul pics to everyone, because they didn't have Snapchat stories when I was a starter. Beep the birthday song? Yeah, it did, like, a little, like, a beep on birthday song. Send my hall pics because they didn't have Snapchat stories
when I was a star.
Beep the birthday song?
Yeah, it did like
a little beep
on the scanner.
Which one,
the black birthday song
or the regular?
Regular one.
What's the black birthday song?
Happy birthday to you.
I wonder.
I wonder.
I've never had
a black birthday.
Well, it's coming up, right?
June.
Can I please? Perfect. Can I, please?
Perfect.
Bring Kyle's nephew?
Yeah.
We'll have to run it by Mincy.
Are we going to do another case race in April?
Yeah.
You've got to pick the theme.
No, it's a lot of birthdays.
Is it?
Yeah, I think there's three.
We still should do the outsider teamed up.
Like, everyone gets...
I don't know how we'll do it but
everyone brings
someone
teams of two
it's going to be tough
as far as just microphones
we should just have Nick Mangold come
we should actually just have Nick Mangold and Shane Gillis
go one on one
I think I asked Shane a while ago if he would do it and he said
he couldn't for some reason.
Give him a date.
Yeah.
Oh you gave him a date.
Yeah.
That'd be funny.
He's like yeah I'm never again.
It was so good the last time there's only one way to go and it's back down.
And I feel like now that he knows Che,
that relationship will turn sour again.
I need a redemption.
You're going to do the same thing
every time.
You do the same thing every time.
Last time was majestic.
Last time was
so quick. The way
you addressed it at the beginning to when
you started that.
I just don't know what happened.
It was a flip of the switch.
You guys have all gone out.
I'm not like that when I go out.
No.
I know.
But it's something about being.
I loved it.
I thought it was funny.
I think it's funny because it's like two years.
It is getting funny.
Yeah.
You could play a clip from any case race and you couldn't tell which one it was.
Oh, no.
Oh, the Joker was hilarious.
Then the second one was tough.
Then the third one, you just keep doing it. It's funny now. Oh, dude. Oh, the Joker was hilarious, then the second one was tough. And then the third one, you just keep doing it.
It's funny now.
Oh, dude, it's terrible.
You're going to do the same thing.
It's like because I tell myself, I'm like, well, I'm not going to get.
Oh, we know.
Yeah, we know.
And you're in here.
You're like, well, I'm not going to stop drinking when everyone else is drinking.
You're having fun.
And we know what happens every time.
That's why liquor's better, dude.
I feel like liquor doesn't get us like that when we're off the liquor.
No, I can't drink liquor like that.
Every liquor drunk show we've had has been pretty smooth.
Have we ever had a bad liquor show?
We haven't pushed the liquor drunks very far.
Tank race we did, but it was just so fast.
Tank race, Henny Fridays, the Mezcal days, the fucking tequila days.
I forgot about Mezcal.
Oh, Mezcal was a...
It was great vibes.
Liquor is always, you guys get emotionally intimate
and on each other's side, supportive.
That's just dope.
Yeah, it's awesome.
Brotherhood.
Beer is more rowdy.
Yeah, the problem is all the young whippersnappers
playing at home.
Yeah.
Liquor makes it a little different.
Maybe I'm just being a pussy about that.
Oh no.
Boys really comment.
Look at this message.
What?
The flight broker
saying that they need cleaning fees
on the aircraft because people were
throwing up all over the place.
Good thing there's no
proof of you guys puking.
We didn't puke.
Just drive.
Dude, I've cleaned
that shit up.
I've used all their
towels.
That's probably what it is.
I just have to repay
for the towels.
That's bullshit.
They flew us through
fucking turbulent air.
Yeah.
Fuck them.
They served me
a skunked Heineken.
Broden was being
a nice friend.
We were just like,
I think it was the Heineken.
Nah, dude.
Brandon, why don't you
do the High Noon ad?
Bad Lobster.
Yeah.
Fucking Filet was
a little rare.
High Noon.
Go slow.
I have to pee.
Alright. High Noon is a slow. I have to pee. All right.
High Noon is a hard seltzer made with real vodka.
Nice and slow.
Real juice.
I tried the tequilas this weekend.
Ooh-wee.
Wrong, buddy.
Don't ever fucking say that again.
Start that over.
Read your sheet, man.
High Noon is a hard seltzer.
Don't put these keys on top of those words.
Those are your keys.
No, they're not.
Are these your keys?
Yeah, I put them there to prank you.
How would you know that would have been a prank?
I knew he wasn't supposed to read that, and he would if the keys were on them.
He laid the keys literally over that part of the copy.
It was literally right on top of it.
High Noon is a hard seltzer made with real vodka, real juice, and sparkling water.
It's actually made with vodka, not with malt like those other shitty seltzers.
They now have big cans, 700 milliliters of peach and pineapple available.
My favorite flavor is the peach.
I also like the lime and the watermelon.
That is the gold, silver, and bronze of my flavors.
Which one's gold is peach, silver is lime, and bronze of my flavors. Which ones? Gold is peach.
Silver is lime.
And bronze is the other one I mentioned.
Watermelon.
The watermelon's actually the best.
Why?
Bronze is not better than gold.
Bronze is better than silver.
Bronze is not better than silver.
Yeah, it is.
Have you ever seen the Olympics?
But check the prices.
Yeah, it is.
They don't give bronze to the second place finisher.
All right, finish the ad. We can have this debate this debate only 100 calories gluten-free no added sugar they're
full-time flavors if you want to try them all pineapple black cherry watermelon grapefruit lime
peach mango passion fruit and lemon but if you pick up the limited edition flavors like pear
and cranberry that means you buy a tailgate pack or you can buy the pool pack and get kiwi and guava
look for high noon hard seltzers on
drizzly or at your local convenience or liquor store visit high noon spirits.com to find it near
you i would so much rather win a bronze than a silver no you wouldn't yeah when you say yeah
when you say i won a silver medal at the olympics the next question is what happened you win a
bronze usually if you win a bronze you usually won your last game because they do like the third place same yeah so we're all you're all gonna be on team bronze over silver
just people the people that win oh you don't win a silver you lose yes you lose the gold yes over
but you win the bronze exactly yes yeah these are facts facts i accidentally said do you watch sports
that kid is better than third oh not in the watch sports? Second is better than third. Not in the Olympics.
Second is better than third in all things.
No, it's not.
I think it's proven people are happier when they win the bronze because they weren't expecting to.
Correct.
You're so close to winning.
Yeah, when you say, like, oh, I won a bronze in the Olympics.
Like, oh, that's cool.
You were in the Olympics.
Like, that's pretty cool.
When you win the silver, it's, yeah, you lost.
That's your reaction.
Someone tells you they won a bronze in the Olympics.
Oh, cool, dude.
Oh, cool.
You were in the Olympics.
Silver can have a story, though.
Silver is you lost.
Yeah, Silver's like, what happened, dude?
When Michaela Maroney hit the face, what place did she get?
What place was that?
Was she in second for that, TJ?
I think they racked up golds on her.
That was a bad face.
That wasn't a happy face.
I know.
She got second.
Yeah, sad to lose.
No one's ever been happy to win silver, ever. You're saying if she won bronze, she would have had a happy face. That wasn't a happy face. I know. She got second. Yeah, sad to lose. No one's ever been happy to win silver, ever.
You're saying if she won bronze, she would have had a happy face?
Ever.
Yeah, she would have been like, this is cool.
When people get silver in the Olympics, they, like, lose their mind.
Yes.
I don't think you get happy with bronze, either.
You don't get happier with bronze.
Yes, you do.
You do.
Yeah, you do.
I think you're happy with bronze because you know you were so far.
Oh, come on.
You were never going to win gold.
I guess I'd rather win a silver medal.
No.
Ron, you –
And bronze kind of looks –
You can't have everybody, big cat.
You can't have everybody in the whole room.
No, but Ron's not thinking about it hard enough.
Yeah.
Think about it for a second, Ron.
This is really more of a sympathy thing for Brandon.
I'm just trying to be on his side for this argument.
What about Allen?
Ron's is like, there's room to grow.
Ron's like, you might have a chance next year.
Right.
Silver's like, you're probably at the peak of your career.
Yeah, you're right.
You have no chance.
That's not true.
If you win a bronze and you're from a Bahamian country, you go back, you're a hero.
Yes.
You go back, you silver, they're like, dude.
Like, what the fuck happened?
We wanted gold.
None of that is true.
Yeah, look.
Here we go.
Yes.
Yes.
Oh, sad.
Because they lost the gold medal match.
Oh.
Yep.
Now show bronze happiness.
Yeah, bronze.
She's pissed.
She looks like she got a shit.
Oh, my God.
These are team sports that lost the...
Rulon.
Oh, Rulon.
They look fine.
Woo-hoo.
Look how happy...
Silver's happier than bronze. Silver's happier than bronze. Oh, it's silver. Silver was happier there. He looked fine. Woo-hoo. Look how happy. Silver's happier than bronze.
Silver's happier than bronze.
Oh, Silver.
Silver was happier there.
Go back up.
Go back up.
He's going to kill himself.
Go back up.
That's the outlier that makes the rule true.
Yep.
Look at.
Oh, there we go.
Those guys are happy.
Oh, bronze on the right.
That's Carl Lewis.
Carl Lewis used to win in gold.
Oh.
Oh.
All right.
Now where's your argument? Okay. All right, now where's your argument?
Alright, now where's your argument?
They all look pumped.
Those boys
look like they're having a great time.
Raise up the hand.
That stylish guy is happy.
They were all coming together.
Damn.
They're doing the same fucking hand gesture.
That was crazy
how would they put that in there
yeah you're wrong Brandon
it's fine
why would they put that in there
that was nuts
and I think you're most mad because this is a take that you
like should have had
you like having these things
bronze should be better than silver?
Yeah, it's like your Sandlot's not a good movie.
So you're saying I'm picking up silver on this take,
that I was second to this take.
I think this is why you like Allen so much
because you know Allen's like a bronze guy.
You're silver.
Allen's not a bronze guy.
You know you're never hitting gold,
but you think Allen, you might have a second chance.
Allen doesn't compete.
Allen just chills.
Oh, well, he compiles information for competing. I don't know what Allen would gain. First of all, Allen doesn't compete. Allen just chills. Oh, well, he compiles information for competing.
I don't know what Allen would gain.
First of all, Allen doesn't compete in the dozen.
Brandon does.
Interesting.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
They're all fine.
Oh, they're all fine.
Look at the bronze guy.
Bronze guy.
He's so happy to be there.
He's like, I never had a chance at winning this game.
I see the smile.
You don't have to put the smile on the square.
Silver guy is. Yeah, He's like, I never had a chance at winning this game. I see the smile. You don't have to put the smile on the square. Silver guy is...
Yeah, he's like, this sucks.
Bronze actually looks happier than gold.
DJ, can you zoom in on the bronze guy's face?
Thanks, man.
And...
Look at that!
Wait, what fucking event is this that these three guys were the three finishers?
Like Nordic something.
Some sort of shooting?
Maybe.
Dude, bronze guys rock.
Bronze knows also all he has to do to live up to his legacy is just keep getting third
place.
Right.
He doesn't need to get gold again.
I think bronze would prefer silver or gold next time.
Nope.
Gold, yes.
I'm not saying bronze is better than gold.
We agree there.
How did this become the thing y'all mess with Brandon Walker about today?
Well, you're just incorrect.
Yeah, we're struggling.
Do something, Brandon.
Do something cool.
Should we call Minty?
Oh, yeah.
I told him to call.
He never did.
Oh, shit.
I got to go do this.
He's not up yet.
All right, guys.
See you tomorrow.
See you, Ron.
No.
They have to be.
You don't know whose keys those are?
You just have keys?
How do you not know if those are your keys?
You took somebody's keys and forgot about it.
Oh.
All right, Roan's got some.
I think we call Mincy and tell him that his answer wasn't good enough.
Maybe if he puts it in video form, we could understand it.
And he'd have more time to explain it.
Yeah.
Have you tried to call him, TJ?
Give him a buzz.
No, we can try.
What could he be doing at 1 o'clock in the afternoon?
Working out. Could be doing at 1 o'clock in the afternoon? Working out.
Could be doing that.
Could be.
Reviewing crawfish?
Could be doing that as well.
Without giving a score?
Setting up a...
Or even reviewing it in the slightest?
How's that investigation going?
What an...
Oh, uh...
The Pelicans deal.
I...
Somebody else is handling that.
Oh.
Is it?
We'll find out about that soon.
Mincy went too viral.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
They had to cancel the meet and greet.
So we wanted to see how many people were affected.
It was a classic hoodie violation.
Not very many.
The guy goes too viral.
Mega viral, I believe. Mega viral. It very many. Yeah. The guy goes too viral. Mega viral, I believe.
Mega viral.
It's not his fault.
His job is to go viral.
And to refund the ticket.
Fuck.
But when he goes mega viral, it kind of steps on his job.
Right.
Roan left his wallet.
That just feels like a trap.
His wallet's in his chair.
That definitely feels like a trap.
Roan's wallet's in his chair.
That's 100% a trap wallet. I don't know. It blends in in his chair. That definitely feels like a trap. Ron's wallet's in his chair. That's 100% a trap wallet.
I don't know.
I mean, that's...
It blends in with the chair.
I think he forgot.
I think he made a mistake.
I think we've got to take his wallet.
He would do it to us.
He would do something.
He would.
He would,
but that's what he wants us to do.
Is there a snake behind the wallet?
How can there be...
I think you've got to give his wallet back
and wink at him.
That's how you get him.
We got Ben.
Oh, okay.
NC.
What's up, fellas?
How we doing?
NC.
We're good.
Who wants to take the lead here?
I mean, what do we?
You take the lead.
Okay, so Kyle, maybe?
Yeah, Kyle, you want to get to the bottom of this?
I guess so.
Zaw had an incident at Ole Miss.
You guys hashed it out.
What was the gist of that?
Okay.
I don't know anything.
All I saw was what Zaw tweeted, that he said he felt like he was singled out
and treated unfairly on Twitter yesterday, that he would never go back there.
And, you know, I immediately, you know, I like to think, you know,
I like to think that Ole Miss people are good people,
at least the majority of them.
And so I take that stuff very, very seriously.
You know, I don't want to see my school ever look bad in a bad light,
and I know a lot of Ole Miss people agree.
How can you explain Hugh Freeze then?
Good question, right? Yeah, well well when it comes to winning football games all bets i'm okay all right keep going keep going sorry sorry sorry okay yeah fair fair but uh but anyway so so zah he explained all
the stuff that he felt like he was singled out and being mistreated and you know i love zah you
know my favorite people
at bar school and I never want anybody to feel that way especially around my college campus
and so you know I you know said like this is obviously horrible and you know I feel awful
that this happened I don't really you know I wasn't there I didn't see the situation or anything
like that but just the fact that Zod was like a really good dude and means well felt that way just you know it upset me I mean like I love Zah you think he was owed an apology Zah
yeah well it made it feel like yeah and I like said you know I'm sorry this ever happened you
know blah blah blah you know just feeling you know just because I don't want dude I don't want
anybody to feel unwelcome are you accepted then you yeah then you you've accepted his apology
yeah so here's what
happened what here's what happened everything changed this morning dude so zah sent me a text
like missy i'm really basically saying like and he posted online he's like i'm really sorry like
basically i got real drunk and said some stuff that wasn't true and i shouldn't have done it
and uh i texted him i'm like you know, we all make mistakes.
I mean, God knows, like, you know, I've made more than a couple myself.
Hold on one second.
What are the top three mincey mistakes?
Oh, the one that really gets me is the one that, like, I would say really still,
not haunts me to this day, but the ending of my New Orleans time
and 30 you know y'all know how I always allude to wanting to come back here for like the Nola
redemption I just blew a crap ton of poker money and kind of like fire you know trade a couple
poker friendships on the way out of the poker world when I went back to Ole Miss in 2014 and
got debt it took me like four years to pay the guy back but i did you know
because i'm all we're all honorable men here but uh just my ending in 2014 and noah was bad that's
one what what's the second biggest okay that was okay uh that's the one that really bothers me the
most uh the others were like i guess i would say i was like faking i was still in school to my poor dear mother playing poker playing poker at oxford in like 05 and 06 and you know maybe i'd take three hours
of class a semester and i sort of like faked me switching to journalism for finance like
stayed on and she was excited about that huh when you're like i'm gonna be your son's gonna be a
journalist yeah she just wanted her baby you know she was a big-time attorney and sent me to Providence.
Oh, no.
So she was disappointed.
Got it.
Yeah, yeah.
It was never the dream for her son to be a pro gambler for 10 years.
But now she's big-time Ole Miss.
She couldn't be more proud now.
Okay, and then three?
Thanks to you, Big Cat, we've redeemed it.
Okay, and then three?
Three, I would say, is 100% just not taking care of my health
and fighting the obesity thing.
Just like I've fought that all my life, not made that the priority it needs to be.
I'm not saying I'm a saint now.
I'm definitely a little bigger than I need to be.
Hey, you got your trainer, Speed Demon.
Dude, I might as well say I'm the yak right now.
Great time existence announcement. Oh, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. Are we breaking news? well say on the act right now, great time existence announcement.
Oh, wait.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Are we breaking news?
Should we hit the music?
Hold on.
Hold on here.
Hold on, Mincy.
We got to get the music going.
Hold on.
So you're like, Mom, I'm going to be a journalist now?
Oh, here we go.
Breaking news.
Breaking news.
Breaking news live on the act.
Exclusive Ben Mintz has breaking news.
Mintzy.
Today's breaking news.
Big Cat, I know you're familiar with it because you were at Hogs for the Calls last year.
Great calls.
It raises millions of dollars for family fighting child cancer i am going to be getting the racing shoes out of my
closet and running the crescent city 10k what easter weekend what i don't know and i will be
using it as a fundraiser for hogs for the cause to try to raise money for these families fighting
child cancer and i think it's going to be a great day. Wow. All right, so, Mincy, what is the great cause?
What is the goal for time?
So I was just thinking about this.
I thought there needed to be a yak, like, over under on it.
Yeah.
We could figure out a time, and I thought maybe in the name of the yak
and the spirit of it, if I break the time,
maybe we could get some donations out of y'all.
No, no, no, I need the time. I need the 10k how many miles 10k is 6.2 miles so what is
your time so we got here's here's the here's the here's the debate so luckily for me new orleans
we got a flat track not hilly here very good okay good for time okay it's a 7 38 a.m race it's
saturday april 8th so you know could have a.m. race. It's Saturday, April 8th.
So, you know, could have a humid morning, but at least it's early in the morning.
You know, the humidity down here could be a problem.
Okay.
I think, you know, I mean, I ran five miles in 57 minutes on the treadmill a couple days ago.
I mean, I know that's not the fastest.
I was thinking in my head, and in the vein of the act spirit and the minds we all have,
I think the over under 69 minutes, fellas.
I'm going to need to be lower than that.
You need to be lower than that?
10 minute mile is pretty tough on me.
I've been running about 11, 11 and a half.
And see, if you break an hour, I will donate $5,000.
If you go a second over an hour you have to pay me
so if I break 60 minutes
$5,000
yes
but if you don't he's giving that money to a
cigarette corporation
in a 5G tower
and I'll have
I've got actually
some other good stuff I've got a producer
friend of mine is about to be starting to help me out,
not this week, but next week.
We're about to be getting a lot more Mincy with videos around town.
A lot of stuff's coming.
But, Mincy, you understand what's at stake.
If you go over an hour, I'm going to use that money to try to kill more people.
He's going to find cancer.
He's going to donate cigarettes to every school in New Orleans.
I've been going, dude, 60 minutes.
Dude, oh, my gosh. I my gosh i'm about for an hour
one hour 6.2 jesus dude this is speed speed demon oh you got a month listen i'll have a guy all over
the course doing content we'll have update you know we'll make it a whole thing saturday morning
april the 8th uh so i've got a month i I've been, you know, like I said, lately,
I've been doing, like, the distance,
but, I mean, I haven't run 10-minute miles,
but, like I said, I did five.
My last three runs were all five miles in under an hour.
So we're in the ballpark.
I would try to go for two miles under 20 minutes.
You know what?
Here's what we'll do.
Why don't you pitch?
No, you know what, Benzie?
I got something better, even.
Under 60 minutes, I will donate 10K to the Hogs for the Cause.
If you go over 60 minutes, if you go over 60 minutes for the World Series of Poker,
you have to play every hand exactly how I tell you to.
That's going to be very, very difficult.
Well, here it is.
We're going all in.
Ah.
Every time.
Every hand in the world.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Do you accept?
Level one, 50,000 chips.
All in.
All in.
All in.
We're all in.
All in.
Man, that's tough.
But you know what?
It's not my money in the main.
You just have to explain that to my backers.
I won't say anything.
No, no.
You have to have that conversation.
You've lied to your mother.
You can do this.
You've got guys backing me.
Why don't you stick it in with six dudes off in the first level?
What if it works, Vince?
It's for real, though, Big Cat.
On the air air breaking news
10k 10k under under under an hour over an hour and kb i hear you on there if you want to help
design a training program please i'm all ears i need all the help i can get here yeah i got you
over an hour you're all in on every hand can you do one mile in 10 minutes right now just one mile
i can i can do one mile like i i can like usually the
last mile i run in the treadmill is about 10 minutes i just like crank up like protein sewing
panic and i just go no oh then it's very ben this is very doable like very doable i'm gonna have to
just like i can do this and i'm glad you gave me we're about a month out so now i get the you know
okay yeah more than enough time.
Under an hour, 10,000 from Big Cat.
And like I said.
Well, Vince, you keep repeating it back, and you're not saying the second part.
Over an hour, it's the all-in challenge.
Is this in the main event or any World Series event?
I mean, the main, this is asking a lot.
All right, I'll accept.
$10,000. I'll accept one of the. I'll accept. All right, if you don't do it in the main this is asking a lot alright I'll accept I'll accept $2,000
I'll accept one of the
I'll accept
alright if you don't do it
in the main
you have to do it
in two other tournaments
it can be any size
okay
I think the only challenge
would work guys
the main
that's a problem
and I hope you
thank you Big Cat
what if
what if he just gets hot
yeah
he just keeps getting hot
he's just all in
all in all in like all in, all in.
If you do it every hand, you're going to –
No, that's not –
Not necessarily.
That's not 100% true.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
You're on.
Okay.
Done.
I mean, dude.
Run, Mincy, run.
How did we get here?
I don't know.
Apologies to Zaw.
He never got there. Poor Zaw was mist that poor poor za was mistreated that's right
we're talking about and he was overly apologetic the poor guy i hope he got his forgiveness what
was next uh derrick carr's a saint too that's pretty okay oh okay but mincy people in the old
i'm hearing some rumblings from the old miss campus that you kind of accepted Zah's apology too quickly.
I'm a forgiving forget Christian, big cat.
I don't know what to tell you.
Okay, well, because people are saying, like, Zah tried to bring down the whole institution,
and then all he had to do was say, like, hey, sorry, Mincy, and you're like, ah, you're forgiven.
One phone call.
That's all it took.
Better call.
Yep.
Look. So now you might have to apologize to Ole Miss. I'm never going it took. Better call. Yep. Look.
So now you might have to apologize to Ole Miss.
I'm never going to be the man throwing the glass out.
Mincy, don't you think you owe an apology to the Ole Miss fans
for accepting Zaza's apology so quickly?
I think we're going too many different levels.
I'm just saying.
I need to worry about you.
You might need to release a statement.
You might need to release a statement. You might need to release a statement.
You got to control this.
I got to go to the St. Charles streetcar line and start running outside to get under an hour here in a minute.
So, I'll keep the content.
Hey, I'll make this a whole thing.
It's going to be content.
It's going to be fun.
Big Cat, I mean, for real, thank you very much for that offer.
Very generous.
I mean, Mincy, Mincy, let's be honest.
You're not running under an hour, dude.
Mincy, very, very doable if you keep up this regimen.
I'll pay this to all y'all.
How do y'all doubt me?
I mean, I'll.
Oh, yeah, no, I doubt you.
You dare doubt me.
Mincy, you don't realize what I just did.
It's the greatest trick ever where you just say you're going to donate a lot of money
for something that's never going to happen.
Yeah.
People are going to be like, wow, you're so great.
You're a great guy.
You don't believe.
You're telling me you believe there's no.
What percent chance do you think I have of going under an hour here?
0.0.
I can't wait to prove you wrong.
Okay, I can't wait to see you fail.
I can't wait.
Hey, Mincy, just while you're practicing running, just move your hands all in.
Just keep doing that, too, okay?
Because the all-in challenge is going to be electric.
Under an hour.
Yeah.
6.2 miles.
You got this.
April 8th.
Okay.
Well, it's going to be good content.
I can't wait.
Hey, big cat, it's for the kids, baby.
All right.
Make sure you send Dave an update that this is going on now.
Oh, no, Dave.
It'll be in the daily.
Okay, all right.
The daily report will tell.
Don't Fear not.
The big Daily Report today.
A lot of things going on.
What's going on?
It should be good.
Oh, he accepted the apology of Zod.
Which we never got to the bottom of.
We never did.
The point of the call, what did Zod do wrong?
He basically said he lied, that he was unfairly treated.
Old Gus, when it didn't happen.
I think some people at Ole Miss probably got to him
and bullied him into saying that he was lying.
I think he got blackout drunk and was tweeting,
and don't tweet when you're drunk.
That's what I think happened.
Oh, my goodness.
That's worse.
I don't want to use that phrase.
All right, well, just think about that Ole Miss statement
because a lot of Ole Miss fans are hitting me up being like,
Ben Mintz doesn't represent us.
He accepted that apology too quickly.
And I'm like, no, no, no, you don't understand.
I'm sure there's another statement coming.
I got nothing to say.
All right, just think about it.
Think about it.
All right, see you, Mintzy.
I'll think about it while I'm running the St. Charles Street Corral.
You got this.
I'm damn sure.
I can't wait to prove you wrong.
Yeah, no, you're not going to.
Mincy, Mincy, 2-23-30, 4-40, do that.
All right.
Be well, fellas.
Okay, Mincy.
Good luck.
Go run.
He's got no shot.
Hogs and cause doesn't rhyme
yeah it doesn't
i lost my mind wheels for the heels
boar for the cure oh damn i when you asked him his top three mistakes
specific detail i was crying laughing.
I apologize for, I don't know, it wasn't that funny,
but it just kind of...
No, Mincy, what Mincy doesn't realize is his daily report to Dave,
all he has to do is be like, member of the Yak,
because we get so much material from him.
Oh, my God.
Every time he releases a video, it's like,
well, we don't have to do anything to prep for the act today.
Just hyper-specific details.
Like, what are your biggest...
He lied to his mom.
Sweet mom.
Oh, man.
She was heartbroken.
Oh, God.
I want to see the All-In Challenge so bad.
Hey, what if it works?
Yeah, it's happened before.
It's not a zero.
It's a 0% chance he runs under 60 minutes.
It's not a 0% chance that he can't win a tournament going all in.
I think what's going to happen is he's going to be like one in if you do the stats.
No, because if you win a couple, then you have more chips than everyone else.
So your all in is not their all in.
I think he's going to see it regardless.
He's going to run at the pace for maybe a quarter of it and then claim victory.
Blame it on the weather.
Be like, I was on pace.
It was a little too humid.
A 10K?
Yeah.
Did you do that, Kyle?
A 10K in under an hour?
Yeah, yeah.
It's not that hard.
I mean, I'm not saying I could do it, but a 10-minute mile is not blistering.
No.
No.
Not at all.
What a guy.
Yeah, what are you talking about?
Yeah, this is not.
It's not a.
It's very.
Yes.
Yeah.
It's a light jog.
Yeah.
Like a. A lot of miles in a row. And heat. It'll be hard. Yeah, it's, yes. Yeah. It's a light jog. Yeah. Like a lot of miles in a row.
And heat.
It'll be hard.
Yeah, it's.
If you go like, you'd have to do like, you basically start nine minute miles and then
you get a little bit slower and you finish with like an 11 minute mile.
It's April 8th and it's going to be 730 in the morning.
It's going to be pleasant.
It's not going to be heat.
He said there might be humidity.
No.
He's given us a weather report for April 8th.
Yeah, but April 8th in the south is not going to be,
at 730 in the morning is not going to be hot.
Mincy better hope.
But then by the time he's done,
he'll say that the sun really started to take its toll on him.
That's what I'm predicting.
I'm predicting he's going to try to spin it as like, I had it.
I had it.
It was right there.
I was on pace, and then it just kind of.
I'm going to buy him an outfit, too.
I want him just like a skin-tight...
Yeah, he has to be.
And the belt with the waters.
I want him to wear that pointy...
I want him to wear that pointy speed skater helmet.
Yeah, maybe some gloves for no reason.
The gel packs you got to suck on and throw them to the side.
I want him all that shit.
He's insane now.
He'll kill himself trying to do this. No. I think he's going to be able to do side. I want him all that shit. He's insane now. He'll kill himself trying to do this.
No.
I think he's going to be able to do it.
No.
Yeah.
I think he'll do it, too.
I'm team he'll do it.
What?
First of all, again, 60 minutes.
Yeah, he'll do it.
That's doable.
He runs a lot anyway.
And he just said his last mile of the day he knocks under 10 miles.
So if he's doing his toughest mile under 10, or 10 minutes, excuse me,
then he should be able to do it.
Okay.
Yeah, you've got to be under 10 because it's a little over 6.
Right.
It's a little over 6 miles.
He's got to have everything.
Every mile has got to be under 10.
If you do 10-minute pace, you lose.
Right.
He said he did what in like an hour?
Five.
Five.
Five miles.
That's a whole mile and.2 left.
Yeah. That's like 15 minutes. He wasn't trying to do it either. He. Five miles. That's a whole mile and.2 left. Yeah.
That's like 15 minutes.
He wasn't trying to do it either.
He's also not.
Yeah, I doubt he's going for.
He's not trying to break any time.
Mincy?
Speed Demon?
And he has a muff.
He only knows one speed.
It's true.
Speed Demon.
Yeah, but how much time can he dedicate to training?
There might be other stuff he has to do.
Let's hope he doesn't get an injury.
If he does get an injury, then he has to do the all-in challenge.
I think we all agree. Disqualification.
I think the only way to fail
a 10-minute mile would just to be straight up
stopping.
I don't think I could do it. I don't know if I could either.
I know I couldn't do it.
We all know I can't do it.
I couldn't run six miles.
We got Brandon on a treadmill once. He couldn't run a half mile.
That was two years ago.
That was a different Brandon.
He was, Nick was like so, Nick actually pulled me aside and was like, I don't think we can air that.
And I was like, yeah, we can.
So bad.
Could any of you guys run six miles?
No.
Kyle could.
No.
Stanko can.
I see you nodding back there.
Yeah, Stanko.
Yeah, Stanko's a track guy.
Stanko, give us your thoughts.
I mean, 10 minutes is basically walking.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
You have to actually stop.
Don't do it.
10 minutes is pretty slow.
You can jog backwards doing 10 minutes.
What was Oprah's pace that she ran her marathon at?
She ran a marathon?
Yeah, I remember that.
I forgot about that.
Oprah ran a marathon.
Maybe you set that as the over-under for Mincy.
Can you beat Oprah in a 10K?
I'm so excited for this now.
4.29.
She was hauling ass.
I remember four minutes is pretty good for a marathon.
That isn't disgust.
That isn't crazy bad.
If you break four minutes for a marathon, you're not world class.
Four hours.
Four hours.
I'm sorry.
If you break four hours
If one of you was like I ran a marathon in under four hours
That's actually a ten minute
That's about a ten minute pace
Oprah's doing 429
I remember reading that and thinking that's actually really good
Oprah ran a marathon in four and a half hours
That's crazy
Dude I can't even comprehend
Running that long
What's the pace did Did we do the math?
For four hours.
4.29?
Four hours, 29 minutes.
I don't think it's crazy bad.
It probably is 10.
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, there you go.
9.55.
A little over 10.
Did he do it?
So Oprah did 9.55 for 26.2. He has to do like a quarter. She's a beast.55. A little over 10. You didn't do it? So Oprah did 9.55 for 26.2.
She has to do like a quarter.
She's a beast.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She trained for 19 months though it said.
That's so much training.
What do you do for the first two months?
Just walk?
I think so I guess.
I think you like there's like I trained for a half marathon and then it got canceled because of COVID.
And it was like you like you have long-distance day, I think,
and then you have short-distance days, and then break days,
and then it's a whole thing.
Yeah.
19 months is a long time.
Can't wait to see the speed demon.
We got to live stream that.
Yeah, absolutely.
Someone with a bike in front of them.
Or just someone walking.
If it's only an hour, we could do the whole thing on the act.
Yeah, although it's a morning.
Saturday morning at 730.
Should we pre-record?
How would we pre-record that?
Oh, we should actually see if he could.
We should try to get him to videotape and not release any of the,
and we'll watch the whole thing.
I'd watch the whole thing.
I don't want to know the results, though.
This has the potential to be incredible.
He needs to be very
close. I'm going to try to set
this up so that we get it.
I think he's going to do it. I do, too.
I want him to barely do it.
I want him to
I want the last
10 minutes to be so dramatic.
Yeah. You need to have a headset so, ten minutes to be so dramatic. Yeah.
You need to have, like, a headset so you can, like, talk to him
while he's running, though, to encourage him.
What kind of gumption does he have?
Like, I don't know him all enough to know.
Is he a guy that if you tell him,
Vince, you got one mile left, if you get into 9.15, you're going to do it,
is he a guy that's, like, dig deep and do it?
Yeah.
I think he could dig deep.
He's not a quitter.
I mean, he runs an impressive amount.
Yeah.
His normal day isn't much digging, but when it comes down push to shove, I think he will dig deep.
He's got it.
Yeah, he's got some grit to him.
Yeah, I think there's some dog in there somewhere.
Maybe we should just have him do it on a track just for us, like a private viewing before.
I feel like that would be harder.
I feel like people would spoil the results.
I'm saying we actually, instead of forget the actual race, just be like one yak right before it, maybe the week before, he's on a track and we live stream it.
I would like that.
That would be fun.
The 10K challenge.
All right, I'll talk to him because maybe that's the way to do it
because then I don't want it to be spoiled.
I want to watch it live.
Why don't we just get him to not wear his bib?
So isn't that what tracks when you cross the finish line?
Oh, yeah.
He just doesn't wear it.
Yeah.
You could just enjoy that and just give us a –
I want a private viewing.
Or we could all just fly down to New Orleans.
We could go down.
Oh, yeah. We should go down. Oh, yeah.
We should do that.
Trip them.
Obstacles out.
I think if we all went down there,
we'd run in like 49.
We'd win.
Yeah.
Oh, I should go race them.
Should enter secretly.
Yeah.
I should go be like,
I'll be your pace.
I'll be your bunny rabbit.
This feels very Jimmy Kimmel
through his basketball game.
Oh, my God.
I don't even have a rivalry with Mincy either.
That's the thing.
I love him.
You're huffing and puffing, and he's looking at you.
He's got it.
He's got to get his pants figured out.
He's got the form.
Oh, my God. Oh my god Nancy
He really moves
Yeah no he's got some speed
He is the speed demon
Yeah I want a private chilling
Isn't that Liam just walking
Yeah that's what I was going to say
The camera man's just walking
Liam and Cody
He also said though Today he did Five miles in an hour, but on a treadmill.
That's significantly easier.
Ah.
Yeah.
Because it paces for you.
And you've got the handles.
The fact that he can physically do it.
I do think the day of he'll have adrenaline.
He'll have other people.
Which actually, adrenaline helps me. Yeah. Because he'll go adrenaline. He'll have other people. Which actually adrenaline helps me.
Yeah.
Because he'll go so fast.
True.
To start.
Like imagine he runs like a four minute mile.
Can you listen to music in these?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can throw some headphones in?
Yes.
So I wonder if that'll.
I feel like he's a raw.
He goes raw though.
Yeah.
I bet he goes no headphones.
No.
He's listened to headphones most of his day, though.
Really?
White Spirit Panic is on in his brain or on in his ears pretty much all the time.
It's true.
If you've been to as many shows as Mintzy, you don't even need music to hear the songs.
I'm so excited for this.
Just got to lose yourself on loop.
Yeah.
An hour straight.
Or a Shapiro podcast.
He's really listening. Shapiro podcast. We found him passed out in the cave asleep as he's watching Ben Shapiro on his laptop.
I'm not making fun of him, but that's just.
That is what happened.
That's what happened.
Jerry.
How fast do you think you could run six miles?
What's the average mile for an average guy?
Oprah did a marathon at 9.55 pace.
I mean, probably the same as Oprah.
Okay.
No, that would still lose.
It would lose.
I think it would win. It would be close.
955?
Yeah, 955 would be good.
Oh, I think – because it's.2 extra.
Right.
You would have to do Oprah's pace.
I think 955 gets there.
No.
When did she do it?
Recently?
So that knocks off.
Yeah, I think it would.
No, I think it would.
No, I don't.
It's because 0.2 of a mile, one-fifth of a mile.
That knocks off 30 seconds, right?
One-fifth of an hour would be.
No, one-fifth of a mile, so 9.55, that's a minute and 45 seconds.
Can we see Oprah's physique when she did it?
I just need to figure out if she's a father below the Oprah line.
Oh, it's almost two minutes.
I don't know.
It's almost two minutes extra.
That wouldn't do it.
9.55 wouldn't do it.
Nine times six.
Either way, if he did 9.50,
that would do it.
That would do it. I don't think so.
Surely.
Oh, wow. She looks awesome.
That looks fantastic.
This was younger Oprah.
She was so young.
She had a body like that?
She has abs.
Yeah, she looked phenomenal.
Okay, never.
Why is she surrounded by soldiers?
Is that a bronze medal or a soldier?
What's that?
Look at that stride.
Oh, my God.
It was a Marine marathon.
Oh, she...
Oh, I mean, that was peak Oprah.
All right.
And we got to account for Mincy's shorts fitting.
It was maybe going down, drop his phone, pull out of his pocket.
Yeah, we'll get him some gear.
Jerry, are you going to pay the $500 bill for the plane?
You kind of started gagging first.
I don't got $500.
Oh.
Nah.
Nah, still waiting on it. Did you throw up, Jerry? Or did you just gag? Nah, I'm built different, 500. Oh. Nah. Nah, still waiting on it.
Did you throw up, Jerry?
Or did you just gag?
Nah, I'm built different, bro.
You gagged.
We were gagging nonstop.
You know what's funny?
Big Cat, my flight from Atlanta to West Virginia.
You went to Atlanta first?
The guy shit his pants on the internet.
You're missing.
Yeah, you're missing.
You went from New York to Atlanta to...
Yeah, I went from New York to Atlanta, then from Atlanta to West Virginia because there's
no direct flight.
Okay.
And then I got in and Dave was like, what's wrong?
Because he saw my face and like security guard Pat was like, dude, he shook.
Because I was scared of the turbulence and I was telling Dave like, dude, it was scary.
I felt like I was going to die.
And then you started making fun of me and Dave was making fun of me then you started making fun of me. And Dave was making fun of me.
And everybody started making fun of me.
And then when we got in the private jet, you threw up.
Yeah.
But I wasn't scared.
How long was your trip from beginning to end from New York to Atlanta to West Virginia?
Five and a half hours.
Jeez.
Because we had an hour and a half more than that layover.
Because we had to depart.
The deep plane.
I puked in the Uber, too.
Yeah.
You puked on the side of the road.
On the side of the road.
But somebody, no, I'm just going to say it.
You can say it.
Somebody passed away from turbulence.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
We already talked about that.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't know if that was a bad thing or a good thing.
No, it was a bad thing.
It's a bad thing to say, to say, to say.
All right, that was it, Jerry.
Cool.
No problem.
What are you going to do?
Take a couple laps.
Okay, nice.
Stay if you want.
I like your nice color coordination today.
You smell good.
Yeah, you like the smell?
Yeah, you smell damn good.
I can smell it.
See you, Jerry.
See you, Jerry.
Oh, watch that door.
Careful.
Did we figure out what the pace is?
Nine minutes and 40 seconds per mile.
Nine minutes and 40 seconds.
There it is.
All right.
Now I'm a little lost because I did not expect Oprah to look like that.
Yeah, Oprah looked insane.
I had no idea.
How old was she in that, 25?
I don't know why I remembered that, by the way.
I just had that on the front of my mind that Oprah ran a marathon last year.
It is like the one person if you're like, hey, anyone could run a marathon.
Oprah did.
Yeah, White Sox date. Now that you see it, it is the sort of if you're like, hey, anyone could run a marathon. Oprah did. Yeah.
White Sox date.
Now that you see it, it is the sort of thing you don't forget.
Oprah ran a 430 marathon and looked like that.
You're like, what the fuck?
Really?
She was 40.
She was 40?
Since he's 26?
27.
27.
27. I was very like
940s
I was going to be able to do it
and now I'm a little
I'm rooting for him so hard
I think he's going to
I think he's
going to train his ass off
over the next month
and he's going to be
he's going to do it
what if he shows up
and he looks just like
like Oprah
all it took was one month of training
I think we're
Overestimating the
Underestimating the difference between 26 and 6 miles
Yeah
Yeah
Either way it's going to be great
We got one last ad Brandon
Do we?
I'll run it
Run it.
Oh, I thought you meant the ad.
Are you going to run it?
The race?
Oh, I thought you were saying you were going to run the ad.
No, no.
No, definitely not.
That's not my job.
Oh, well.
Chili's.
It's a shame because it's Chili's.
Next Monday we're getting Chili's.
I might try to break the chip record. Chili's is where small business happens. Only at Chili's
break the Chili record. Well, $10.99
gets you a bottomless drink,
a starter like bottomless chips and salsa,
a full-size entree like
the classic old-timer with cheese, and a
big ol' side of fries
with the Chili's 3 For Me deal.
You just did a perfect smoke ring
over there. You did.
I'm telling you, it's a feast.
But like a casual feast, I mean, it's just $10.99.
We're not talking about gold forks and stuff.
Can't get this unbeatable abundance of food elsewhere,
whether you're getting fast food or picking up groceries,
head to your local Chili's where you can enjoy the 3-for-me deal for just $10.99.
Chili's.
Love Chili's.
Next Monday is their birthday.
Yes.
Happy birthday, Chili's.
I love Chili's so, so much.
So good.
Wait, are we going to be here?
Yeah, next Monday.
What are we doing?
Oh, you're not coming.
I am coming.
No, you weren't on the list.
But I've got to add it to the list. I know.
Dave was like, I was like, Dave, your March Madness list, like some people are wondering
why they aren't.
He's like, who made this list?
I was like, you did.
You did.
Yeah.
No, we're not.
I knew when I went on there, it was like, okay, well, something's because, you know,
I'm Brandon Walker.
Hey, you're Alan.
Alan was on the list.
Alan was on the list. Yeah, no,, I'm Brandon Walker. Hey, you're Allen. Allen was on the list. Allen was on the list.
Yeah, no, we'll be here Monday.
So, yeah, next week, March Madness will be Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
no show Thursday, Friday because we don't do a show up against March Madness.
So, yeah.
That's respect.
It is.
That is respect.
Well, it's just kind of.
On behalf of the college basketball community, thank you guys.
Well, we figured, I mean, we're streaming college basketball.
Everyone's watching college basketball.
It's like the two days a year that everyone just watches college basketball at work.
I'm going to try to go.
If you could make.
West Virginia's in Columbus.
If you could make.
Oh.
Oh.
You're going?
I was going to.
I was going to.
Hey, West Virginia.
Yeah, they'll make it, right?
Yeah.
Well, Thursday, Friday.
They've got hot late.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it'll be about 10 seed.
Mississippi State might be in the playing game.
Same with Wisconsin.
Indeed.
Same with Wisconsin.
We're going to be in Dayton?
If it's Wisconsin, Mississippi State, it will be the ugliest game of all time.
I know.
It'll be the first to 45.
I'm going to want to go if I'm in Dayton.
If Wisconsin's playing in the playing game, I'm going to try to sit courtside.
Yeah. I can sit courtside. Yeah.
I can sit courtside.
You can set a few rows up.
Yeah.
Wisconsin and Ohio State play in the Big Ten tournament first.
Yeah, Wednesday night we're going to stream it.
Anyone's invited.
Toilet bowl.
Yep.
I think Wisconsin's going to lose that game.
Yeah.
Well, they haven't been very good lately.
All year.
Yeah.
Lately.
Who's Purdue got?
I'm being dead honest.
They probably got the 8 or 9 seed.
They will lose.
They will lose to the 8 or 9 seed.
Michigan, yeah.
Absolutely, they will lose.
That was the most on-point thing.
I had someone say that to me.
It's so real because I'm such a casual viewer of basketball.
I always see them lose.
I'm on my show and do that exact rant, Kyle.
That was so beautiful.
Yeah, Big Cat, the Wisconsin game you were at when you were painted up.
Purdue will lose.
Yeah, yeah.
They will lose their first round.
They'll get a one seed, so it'll be tough.
And Zach Eaddy will be like a foot taller than whatever team they're playing.
How many Big Ten teams will make it to the tournament?
Seven or ten.
I thought they had seven projected right now, right?
Seven locks? There's a couple. Yeah, but there's seven locks. Wisconsin's on the bubble. Michigan's on the tournament. Seven or ten. I thought they had seven projected right now, right? Seven locks.
There's a couple.
Yeah, but there's seven locks.
But there will be Wisconsin on the bubble.
Michigan's on the bubble.
Rutgers on the bubble.
Yeah.
Penn State.
Rutgers, Michigan.
As of right now.
Yeah.
Rutgers, Michigan play each other.
Right.
Whoever wins will probably get in.
I think Wisconsin will lose to Ohio State and not make the tournament.
Although we did beat Marquette.
That's our big.
That's our big win.
We beat Purdue. We beat them at Marquette. We's our big win. We beat Purdue.
We beat them at Marquette.
We beat them at somewhere that's not softball.
You being anti-Purdue is so funny.
I love it.
I've not even won a roof for it.
I love it.
It's so funny.
It's so true.
It's just sadness.
How's DePaul looking this year?
They've lost like 11 straight.
Damn.
Laurie days are over. UAB, did they? How's DePaul looking this year? They've lost like 11 straight. Damn. Yeah.
UAB, did they?
They're in the Conference USA tournament.
They're not in the tournament.
They have to win.
They have to win?
Yeah.
They won in double overtime the other night, though.
Yeah, Jelly Walker.
It's Jelly Walker season.
Oh, yeah.
Our guy.
Very excited for that.
What do we do?
Someone was trying to explain to me the bracket buster thing that you guys do here.
That is next.
Monday?
Monday.
It's after the bracket comes out.
But it won't be released until Tuesday.
What's the premise, though?
Everyone gets, you're paired with people.
I think you're with Jake Marsh.
Oh, nice.
We put Dante and Nateate together um no my team
yeah me jay and jerry yeah yeah because we were yeah um because you only have a guy you pick
we've all got guys this is actually kyle's origin story too so you pick uh a team your team
of people uh we do a draft seeds seeds 9 through 16. Okay.
And if you make it to the Sweet 16, you win the prize.
The first year we did it, the prize was to go to Vegas with Dave.
And Kyle went, and he dressed exactly like Dave.
Can we pull the video?
That video is awesome.
It's the best.
And then also, he had a cocaine incident, but that was whatever.
Yeah.
He got kicked out of his hotel room.
That was tough, but it was an easy competition.
I picked Wisconsin.
It was the year we beat Illinois.
I wouldn't even consider that.
I think, yeah.
There's a whole series of videos.
There's the video of you at the bar.
I think it's a butterfly effect to me getting hired.
Oh, yeah.
They beat Wisconsin in the first round.
Oh, you had Oregon.
You had Oregon. Oh, I had Oregon. They beat Wisconsin in the first round. Oh, you had Oregon. You had Oregon.
Oh, I had Oregon.
Oregon beat Wisconsin in the first round, yes.
And you weren't coming into the office at the time,
so were you on camera very often before?
No.
Never.
Dave didn't know who Kyle was,
and they all of a sudden had a trip to Vegas.
And Kyle, yeah, show that video.
Isn't there a video of you in the bar when you got it, right?
When you won?
No.
We were supposed to.
Oh, okay.
And I just filmed the bartender.
It's fun because you get a lower seat,
and then you got to tweet about it like you're a fan of that team
during their games.
That's how I got content Kim's Twitter handle.
Last year she was my teammate.
I was like, let me just have the keys.
I mean, you had access to run her Twitter.
I still do.
From time to time?
I log in whenever I want.
I have to go after Emmanuel Acho.
We had to split our winnings with Taylor LeJuan last year.
Damn shame.
He didn't notice Damn shame. Oh.
He didn't notice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I got to see this. Two years ago, the prize was a Bitcoin.
Yeah, you won that.
No, 30 people won it.
Oh, yeah.
We had a lot of people that won it.
Yeah, because all you had to do was make it to the semifinals, right?
Did you ever get your FTX money?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Did you cash out right away? I didn't get as much as i would have at the beginning but i cashed out i cashed out at 38 oh nice i got 38 out of it
holy shit 38 what dollars 38 000 how nice damn how much did you put in zero oh he won it one i won it yeah thirty
thousand dollars i won fifty thousand i won a bitcoin when it was at 50 and then it started
to crater and i i got it out at 38 you dumb ass should have helped paper hands yeah oh man
yeah those diamond hands i still haven't sold it i haven I still haven't sold GameStop
Seriously?
It's coming back
You were the worst day trader of all time
My god
You were so obsessed
It was so good
No you weren't you were just a nervous wreck
For the two days that you owned it
I didn't actually ever have any GameStop.
I had Naked and...
Like the Juice?
I don't know what it was, but it went up.
And I had a lot of Doge.
Doge was popping off back then, too.
Every time Elon did the tweet.
I think I came out even.
Okay.
About $5,000.
I see the pictures.
Just use those pictures. I put all I came out even. Okay. About 5,000 in. I see the pictures. Just use those pictures.
I put all of my money in.
Literally.
Everything you had?
Every single dollar I had
was in.
You're going to
play the video too?
Yeah.
I'm looking for it.
It's right there.
That one.
That one.
That one works.
Aisle.
You had never
done any content on camera, have you?
No, this is the first time.
I knew I had to.
Why do you have a toothbrush?
I don't know what...
That's not what I'm copying.
I don't know what this is.
It was purely a stroke of luck that you had the same jaws.
Oh, yeah, here it is.
I also said he's like a musical director.
I think we're more alike than he thinks.
I could never talk to Kyle.
Wait, the best one is the one where they both sleep back on the couch at the same time.
And Dave's like pissed about a bet.
Kyle's just mimicking his body language.
I didn't know the extent of his bets at the time.
Yeah.
Dangerous game.
I found out the figure and I was like, oh, shit.
Yeah.
This isn't funny anymore.
That video is so funny.
There's also, I've watched, you's like the whole, you can watch the whole
like 15 minute phone call.
Oh yeah.
I first got hired,
I watched this entire thing.
Yeah.
Someone had a cocaine party
in your room.
That's not your fault.
That was,
that was the,
I didn't say that.
You didn't say that?
You're like,
someone came and did cocaine
in my room.
What? I had a bunch of people in Las Vegas.
I gathered a bunch of people for a party.
You were doing it though.
And the cleaning ladies found it, right?
Which is still insane.
Yeah, that's crazy they narked.
Yeah.
And did you get escorted out?
Escorted.
I felt so good the next morning.
I was walking down the strip playing Jonas Blue,
and then I walked into my room.
It was early, too.
And they were just like...
Three security guards.
Oh, fuck.
They wouldn't tell me what I did until I got down.
You couldn't figure it out?
I was like, what the fuck. How many
did you when you were approaching
your room was it already up was the door open or
did you have to like open your door?
I had to open the door and you imagine my
shock went three minutes. Not just
in the room at the front of the
door. But how did you not know what
like were you they were like hey you
gotta go it's like hold on let me grab my cocaine. It's
cocaine. Wait, what?
No, I didn't even think about that being on my, I didn't even know or remember that it was on my kitchen counter.
That is bad to go.
And then you have to go stay at a separate hotel and you had to pay for all of it.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
What a trip.
It was.
It's hilarious.
Yeah.
You're excited. It's going to be fun um you want to spin the wheel teach what did you guys
hit anything last week reset we do an ml cake yeah we'll do ml cake this week okay love it
okay let's push that as far as we can i don I don't have a fucking clue Yeah we'll do Thursday Yeah shoot for Thursday
Nothing
Nada
It's been a great yak boys
Feels good
Missed you guys a lot
You guys in all week?
Yup
I'm only out Friday
I'm in every other day Alright Yep. I'm only out Friday. I'm in every other day.
All right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm out next Friday.
Wedding.
We won't have a show.
Perfect.
Yeah.
Cancel it for you.
Thanks, guys.
No problem.
Nicky goes to weddings.
We don't do a show.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Who gets...
What a dick.
St. Patrick's Day wedding.
Whose wedding? In March Madness. March Madness wedding. Nate. I want to fight this person. Oh, that's fine. Yeah. St. Patrick's Day wedding? Whose wedding?
In March Madness?
March Madness wedding, Nate.
I want to fight this person.
Oh, that's fine.
Yeah, no.
Oh, that's fine?
He's allowed to.
Why?
He gets a pass.
He used to be real, real ugly, and then he got jaw surgery, and he looked like a Hemsworth,
so he has the personality of an ugly guy with the face.
Okay, so he's a cool dude.
Yeah, he's a great guy.
That rocks. Yeah. He's like a super nice Okay, so he's a cool dude. Yeah, he's a great guy. That's actually, that rocks.
Yeah.
He's like a super nice guy,
but he's better looking.
Crazy jaw surgery,
which had his,
one summer his whole jaw was wired shut.
He lost like 70 pounds,
but his face was fixed.
But he still had no complaints.
Right.
It was the best.
He was my college roommate.
Rocked.
Arch Madness, though?
I know, yeah, dickhead.
I wouldn't go.
As nice as he sounds.
I know.
Sounds like a really nice guy.
I'm in the wedding.
What did we decide is going to happen with Rowan's wallet?
It's a trap.
I'm not falling for it.
No, I'm not falling for it either.
Should we water the cactus?
Has it been watered?
I don't think you have.
Maybe a little spritz?
The cacti don't need much water.
They need sunlight.
What do they say?
Yeah, we should sun it.
You said you're supposed to water a cactus every time it rains in Scottsdale.
Oh, okay.
How are we going to know?
I guess there's the internet.
Alan should know that.
Alan doesn't really know.
How do you Google all your answers?
Yeah, Alan only exists for an hour a night.
Harry Morland is the funniest thing.
I love it.
He's dead. Alan's dead. Alan might be dead, but Alan's got brothers. He'll still be the funniest thing. I love it. He's dead.
Alan's dead.
Alan might be dead, but Alan's got brothers.
He'll still be there.
Oh, yeah?
Who's Alan's brother?
Alan's got brothers.
Reginald.
So catch it all.
Reginald.
Are any of us allowed to do this?
Yeah, what if we all are?
What if we did this for your match?
How would you have handled it?
Y'all get a front row seat?
No.
Brilliant.
I'd be fine.
There's no world in which you wouldn't be fine with it.
I'd be fine.
No way.
Wouldn't bother me.
I don't take trivia as seriously as the rest of you.
Ah, yes, yes.
I've only sat in for like six games in the last month.
Six hours of games.
Sasser, you on a team?
No.
Yeah, that's not your thing.
My thing.
Yeah.
Knowing shit, come on.
Yeah.
I don't really take that kind of stuff seriously.
Knowledge.
Alright.
Fucking good, too.
Yeah, you'd be so good.
So fucking good.
Sneaky, sneaky smart.
Like real low-key.
Yeah, like so low-key, people would think you suck.
I would never put myself through that.
I think I would fight in rough and rowdy before I did one dozen.
I believe him, I believe him.
Name three hockey players.
Backlash destroys me.
Yeah, I couldn't do that.
I could name a handful of hockey players.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Want me to do it? Yeah, flex hockey players. Yeah? Yeah. Want me to do it?
Yeah, flex on us.
Three?
Yeah.
Sidney Crosby, Alex Ovechkin, and Chara.
No, Chara retired.
Yeah, he's not.
Doesn't count.
Bergeron.
Yeah.
Nice.
I bet the correct score of the Runes game on Friday, Saturday.
What was it?
4-2.
Wow.
Good for you.
It's a great feeling. It was.
And the Rangers, I was like, the Rangers aren't going to score.
There's three minutes left if they scored.
And then there was an open net for two minutes
and the Bruins didn't score. I was so nervous
about that. I turned it off.
You're sharp. Yeah.
These are confetti.
That was for me. It was for me winning my bet.
One piece of confetti just
most insulting shit in the world.
One piece.
All right.
We'll see everyone tomorrow. It's the act. It's your straws, yeah, style, it's tape, it's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to talk, shop, and do a Yankee pop.
It's the act.
It's the act.