The Yak - Brandon is Going to Risk His Life at the Barstool Invitational | The Yak 10-31-22
Episode Date: October 31, 2022You like jazz?You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Let's play Guess That Sponsored.
It's Yak Day.
It's Pizza Hut Day.
You know what time it is.
You know that we're locked in.
There's one thing about the Yak.
We get the exclusive food first.
The never-before-eaten food before anyone else can even get a whack at it.
And, boy, do we have a treat for you.
Yes.
It's coming up.
It's coming right down the horn.
Yak Basketball is going to be sponsored by Pizza Hut.
Pizza Hut.
By Pizza Hut.
Best sponsor ever.
Best sponsor ever.
And the newest thing at Pizza Hut, let me just start by telling you right now,
isn't pizza at all.
Introducing Pizza Hut Melts, made just for you and no one else.
Brandon, take a whack of that thing.
Oh my goodness.
Brandon's over here demanding two because they're made for you and no one else.
They took their own thin and crispy crust, loaded it with your favorite toppings and cheese,
folded it over, and baked
it to melty perfection. Melty perfection. Then they serve it up with your favorite dipping sauce
for just $6.99. So good, you won't want to share, so don't. That's why everybody has their own.
That's why Lil Sass is jamming it in his face right now. It goes perfect with everything.
Melts are the solo meal that comes in four flavors,
satisfying your cravings whenever and wherever you feel like it.
Thanks to Pizza Hut melts, you'll never have to compromise ever again.
Let's go, Zaha.
I love Pizza Hut.
I love Pizza Hut so much.
I ordered Pizza Hut on my own this weekend,
not even knowing that the stars were going to align.
This is what pizza tastes like to me.
Yeah, this is how it's supposed to be.
I got a little buffalo chicken dip.
It's delicious.
You ever have somebody try to tell you, like, somebody else out pizza the hut?
Beat the brakes off.
Oh, yeah, you got to beat the piss out of someone who does something like that.
Because no one does pizza the hut.
You legitimately scared Kyle.
Yes.
Yes, yes. Pizza the hut. There we go. Yes. Yes, yes.
There we go.
Just as the ad written.
Nick, you almost sabotaged it, though.
That was worth it.
I forgot she was under there, and the show was delayed,
and everybody was getting their Pizza Hut stuff on.
And then people walked out of there, and I was like, you good, Kate?
And she goes, what the fuck, Nick?
I was like, the show didn't start.
Okay.
It was hot in there.
It was hot under that pile of clothes. Happy Halloween.
Happy Halloween, motherfuckers.
I like a Pizza Hut melt.
Nice and toasty.
Why are you eyeing up another one?
You haven't finished your Pizza Hut melt at all.
All I did was look at the box.
You were eyeing it up, though.
I've heard that before.
It's a slippery slope. He was salivating
over there. They're also going to be
sponsoring Yak Basketball.
Somebody's going to be playing with us. I don't know.
Are we figuring out?
Oh, it's the rules right here.
All you have to do is reply to this
announcement on Twitter with a picture of your
new Pizza Hut melts, and that's
how you enter. That's how you can get in Yak basketball with us.
So not only do you get a delicious-ass Pizza Hut melt for only $6.99,
you can get in the game with us.
You can enter up until next Monday's show.
We'll be picking the top eight entries to go on the wheel on next Monday's show,
and the wheel will decide who the winner will be.
Kind of wish we had a higher bar for getting into the Yank basketball.
I mean, well, the bar is that you have to be supporting Pizza Hut
because they're supporting us.
It's a low bar, though, because everybody should be supporting us.
Right.
Wait, so there's going to be eight entries,
and we'll pick the top eight entries.
So it's like all the people who post these pictures,
we can pick from those people.
That was very alliterative.
What are we going to do?
Pick the hottest?
I think we got to pick the hottest.
Oh, for sure.
Or the most scantily clad, at least.
Yeah, I got to have somebody stacked.
Hotness is a spectrum,
but scantily clad is a binary.
So you're either scantily clad
or you're not.
Put on those gray sweatpants, fellas.
Hello.
KB was dressed up as Ron DeSantis for Halloween.
I didn't understand that.
I didn't get that.
But it rang true, though.
You did look like Governor DeSantis.
Thank you.
Yeah, I thought it was good.
That was only on Friday night.
I was wondering what you were doing on Saturday night.
Did you dress up again on Saturday night?
Damn.
Oh, yeah.
God damn.
You got me.
Your costume was wicked, dude.
It was.
What was it?
No, it was wicked.
The play.
It was wicked, the play.
No, you went as a rapper, Sean Derimes.
You, uh...
I had nothing else for that.
I was hoping somebody would jump on,
but their mouth is full of Pizza Hut.
Thank you, Ryan.
I took a bite of Pizza Hut.
Can't blame you.
Can't blame you at all.
I'm shocked no zany co-hosts or co-workers are in costume.
Well, I came dressed as the brawny town man last year,
thinking everybody would be dressed up on
halloween because but and i was the only one and i look like an idiot uh and so i had like five
halloweens here by now yeah i used to do a big halloween thing two years in a row i did big
scare things or i would hide scare people because i like that obviously you did it in the um yeah
in the studio no the school streams school streams Didn't someone get, like, pissed?
A few people.
The first year I did it, I really, I was curled up in a ball to scare Dave in the old office for, like,
I'm not making this up, like, 38 minutes or something in a ball because I had to wait for the timer lights to go out to really trick him.
So that when they came in, the room was dark.
He would, like, never think anyone was in there.
Yeah, some people almost swung at me the first year i really got people good yeah that's one of my favorite uh videos when the guy jumps out of the trash can and he gets yeah someone and he gets
this shit knocked out of him that should happen more often oh yeah people should get punched for
getting for scaring that's kate's thing used to be pennywise at the foggy bottom haunted house in home grove and i would come out of a claw machine but that was before the
the movie even came out so you were pennywise based off the book oh the first it oh oh yeah
yeah you're right there was an old tim curry right probably anyways i was him and i got
punched once people got punched slasher trail all the time really oh yeah i've been seeing on
tiktok all these workers who work at these places are posting.
They're all getting assaulted by the people who pay to go through.
I was in ninth grade.
I did eighth, ninth, tenth grade.
I wasn't Pennywise in eighth grade.
I was tall enough to be Pennywise in ninth.
And we got paid in boo bucks.
Every night you got five boo bucks.
You could spend it on pizza or a slushie.
Or you could wait for the end of the year for an auction.
I won Children of the Corn on VHS.
I bought it with my boo bucks.
Tell me about this auction.
You'd like that, yeah.
Damn, how much did you spend?
How many boo bucks did it wind up being?
I had to spend like probably 55 boo bucks for Children of the Corn.
I thought all your costumes were low effort, like box or stick.
I worked at a haunted house.
You don't have to holler at anybody.
It's crazy that every word
we say on this show,
we have more Pizza Hut
in our mouths collectively.
That's phenomenal.
Yeah, you crushed yours.
I was hungry.
This is a hitting spot.
This is delicious.
Buffalo chicken.
I think so.
So what's the...
The contest starts now.
And you just have to tweet what?
A picture of yourself with this, with this food right in front of you,
the Pizza Hut Melt.
You don't have to be in the picture, though.
All you have to do is reply to the announcement on Twitter with a picture.
Why wouldn't you want to be in the picture?
Well, these guys don't want to post themselves.
They're going to be in Yak basketball.
They're going to need to show themselves at some point.
All right, get over it then.
It says you only have to have a picture
of your new Pizza Hut
melts order.
So you don't have
to be in the picture.
I'd like it.
I'd prefer it though.
I'd prefer it.
So this is taking place
in Philly.
So make sure you're going
to be able to be
in Philly, right?
No, stop trying
to exclude people from this.
I feel like our Alaskans
will get you to Philly if you land on the wheel and they'll get you to Philly, right? No, stop trying to exclude people from this. I feel like our Alaskan will get you to Philly
if you land on the wheel, get you to
Philly. Alright. I want somebody international.
Yeah, our Saudi listeners
I feel like are being
excluded for no reason.
Zass is trying to exclude the Saudis.
What do you have against the Saudis? I had the Saudis in mind
that entire time. Yeah, why
are you so anti-Saudi?
That shit is not right.
Saudi.
Did Rihanna date a Saudi prince?
Yeah, he was hot.
He was kissing the fuck out of her in a hot tub.
In a hot tub, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That was a sloppy one from afar.
Was that Rihanna or a Jenner?
It was Rihanna.
It was Rihanna.
But I think they all,
I think that that's part of like the.
I think Kendall Jenner was with like just a Saudi normie.
No.
Saudi normie is an American millionaire.
Yeah, like a broke boy out in Saudi, someone peddling on the streets.
Yeah, find that kiss.
Become a millionaire.
They were fucking going at it.
It's almost strictly tongue
which is hard to accomplish
they're kind of far apart
they tied their tongues together like two cherry stems
it looked preposterous
but I think that like
rapper, basketball player, Saudi prince
that's in the dating rotation
of a woman about town
of a young debutante
if you have that kind of money and power.
And a tiger, probably.
Yes.
Look at that.
That's zoomed in.
He's unhinging his jaw.
Hell yeah.
Work, work, work, work, work.
Good on her.
That dude does how he pranks with a big old dick.
You know what I'm talking about Brandon Look how happy Brandon genuinely is
By some pizza
By some flipped over Pizza Hut melts
It's as good as hell
What flavor did you have?
I had the Meat Lovers
Oh you did?
West Point Mississippi only had a Pizza Hut
Up until like 1990
And it's the only pizza I ever had And I loved it so very very much Oh, you did? West Point, Mississippi only had a Pizza Hut up until like 1990.
And it's the only pizza I ever had, and I loved it so very, very much.
And then it closed in 2008, and I was devastated.
But I'm pleased to announce that next month we're opening a new Pizza Hut in West Point, Mississippi.
Woo!
Wait, who's going to cut the ribbon?
Yeah, we are.
You think they'll let me cut the ribbon?
I do.
Pizza Hut, please pull some strings.
Let me go cut the ribbon. I would like to go cut the ribbon at I do. Pizza Hut, please pull some strings. Let me go cut the ribbon.
I would like to go cut the ribbon at the Pizza Hut.
Yeah.
Sounds amazing.
Yeah.
What strings would they have to pull?
The ribbon?
Yeah, that probably isn't really even that much to ask for. Yeah.
No.
Just probably show up and do it.
Yeah.
The alternative is it doesn't get done.
It's probably going to be between you and some child.
Yeah.
Well, they probably weren't going to do a ribbon at all. Yeah. Also that. It between you and some child. Yeah. Well, they probably weren't going to do
a ribbon at all.
Yeah, also that.
Open the show.
Yeah.
Well, now they have to.
Pressure's on.
Right.
I'll go with you.
Go ribbon cutting?
Yeah.
Well, when's it opening?
I don't know.
I don't even know
if it's built yet.
We'll all go.
We'll do a live show.
How do you know about this?
Oh, Mama tells me.
Oh, Little Town's buzz when there's a new.
Mama updates me.
First of all, we just got the Arby's three years ago.
And my house used to be a mile from town, but town has moved towards my road.
Now all the restaurants are out by us.
So you can walk?
You can't walk.
You can't walk across the highway or you'll only get killed.
Well, you said it was a mile.
I know Sam crossed the highway twice that night.
You've got to get an Apple tag on your dogs.
I do.
What?
On your dog.
Is that a thing?
Apple tag?
Yeah.
We did it to Kyle on Rediscovering America.
That's right.
That is what somebody was doing.
Yeah.
I remember the Apple tag now.
You talking about unbeknownst or unbeknownst?
Unbeknownst to me.
That's not pronounced.
It sounds like you're throwing announce in there, but it's be-be-knownst.
It's almost like that town that you can't pronounce.
Is that guy still going on about it?
Kima?
Oh, Kima.
Yeah, no, I'm trying to purposely mispronounce things now
to show that it's not a cheating thing. Sounds like the third William sister. Kima. Kima? Kima. Yeah, no, I'm trying to purposely mispronounce things now to show that it's not a cheating thing.
That's like the third William sister.
Akima.
Akima?
Akima.
Oh, she died.
Never mind.
Oh, but wasn't there that other, the young tennis player?
She's like half Japanese.
Naomi Osaka.
Osaka.
Akima.
Osaka.
They have this similar Japanese sound. Nam-de-ah-sa-sim-wa. The awesome-wa. Osaka. They had this similar Japanese sound.
Nom de Asimwa.
Nom de Asimwa, yeah.
Huge bust.
Oh, he was good for the Raiders.
Yeah, but he signed for a bunch of money and just sucked.
Then just ate in his car alone.
Who else did you sign?
He's an actor now.
He signed everybody that year.
He was a handsome guy.
Ronnie Brown?
Yeah, but Ronnie Brown wasn't like a marquee signing,
but it was like a nice. Vince Young was that year it was like a nice supplemental signing to the marquee,
and then that team just sucked.
He's beloved for the Raiders.
Awesome.
Widely regarded as the best cornerback of all time.
That's not.
At the time.
At the time.
Of that year, he was the hottest free agent cornerback.
I mean, Belichick was like, I've never seen
a corner like this.
Pete Carroll said the same
thing. Who was he dating on?
Harry Washington. He was, right?
Is he still? Married.
Nnamdi? Yeah.
Yeah, he was dating Harry Washington.
Now people are saying he's an
incredible actor. Oh yeah, and he produces
too. I think he's, like, big in Hollywood.
What did he produce?
Has he been in?
Yeah, let's find out.
Awesome.
What's this one?
That's an empty box, buddy.
That's an empty fucking box.
Wow.
He is incredible as an actor.
He was in Crown Heights.
Pretty good.
He was nominated for three awards.
An Image Award?
Wow. Well, he played himself awards. An Image Award? Wow.
Well, he played himself in what?
The Kroll Show.
Like Nick Kroll, I'm assuming?
Just had Nnamdi Asamoah in one.
In the episode Please God.
Good to know.
Damn.
He probably can't even step foot in Philly.
No, he ate his lunch in his car alone,
and that like
haunts him as an image.
Like his first training camp
he wouldn't eat
with the rest of the team
after he signed
a $72 million contract.
He would just eat
like a sandwich
in his hot car.
Because he felt guilty
about taking so much money?
I don't know.
I think he thought
he was better than everybody.
That's at least
what we thought.
I don't think it was a humbling moment. I don't even. I think he thought he was better than everybody. That's at least what we thought. I don't think it was a humbling moment.
I don't even know what you would eat in your car like that.
I used to eat in my car all the time when I worked at Ohio State.
But you weren't a 72 millionaire.
I think I'm better than you moved to go sit in your car alone.
You think it's high anxiety?
I'm worse than this.
I think it's I want to be alone and eat my food.
I see no problem with that. Yeah, I see no problem with that. Every time I go to Wawa. I guess, but it's I want to be alone. Yeah. Eat my food. I see no problem with it.
Yeah, I see no problem with that.
Every time I go to Wawa.
I guess, but it's also if you're with a team.
That's a little weird.
Yeah, it's different.
Like if the whole team is eating together,
and you're like, I'm going to go pop out to my car.
That's kind of weird.
Yeah.
I think I still would rather.
As the new guy.
Yeah.
Not on a team.
After wrestling practice,
I would spit in a cup in my car alone, and everyone got pissed.
Were you the high-profile addition to the team, like Nnamdi Asanwa was to the Eagles?
No.
Yeah, you were.
You were the big transfer into high school.
We poached you from Central.
People were fired.
I was talking about Division I college, like after us.
So you already had the disposition of the high-profile transfer from Central.
We'd get our candies or our gum and spit.
What were you spitting?
Like gum, like candy spit?
To lose weight?
Were you eating something to salivate so you could dehydrate yourself?
Yeah, you'd get the last two tenths, maybe four tenths, Were you eating something to salivate so you could dehydrate yourself? Yeah.
What would you eat?
You'd get the last two tenths, maybe four tenths if you were lucky.
How much spit is that?
You would have to fill up a liter bottle.
Do you have to think about food to salivate?
What did you do to spit?
You would not.
You would chew gum or a candy that built up saliva. That's crazy saliva the more i learn about wrestling the more nobody should do it nobody should do that that's
fucking wild did you start doing that in college or did they do that in high school that was a day
before weigh-ins type deal sure good night before which was how many times a season?
20-ish Oh my god
Are wrestlers that much of a disadvantage
If they just stay at their weight?
If they're just at the weight that they are
Without cutting weight?
Depends
At the lighter weights, yes
Why?
Because someone's that much bigger than you?
It's a lot more competitive, and the weight differences are more significant.
Damn, how does it play in?
Like, you just are, like, fatter and heavier on somebody?
Or you're just fucking way more on somebody?
For a dual match, you only get one hour after weigh-ins, so you really can't get bigger.
It's more of just like a natural strength
thing. Damn.
That shit is, it sounds like absolute
torture. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Look at Mr.
Steal Your Girl over here.
Zach Macario.
Mr. Steal Your Girl. It is surprising there's not
one Halloween costume in the building.
I asked on like Friday, I said are we doing
anything for Halloween? Everyone was like, what?
For the yak. Is that how they said it?
It was exactly how they said it.
I would have dressed up.
You would have dressed up too.
That's just our gladiator.
Gladiator costume.
It's a hell of a costume.
Put on the cowboy hat.
Do you think Rudy ended up wearing one of those out?
Did he really? I think costume. Put on the cowboy hat. I think Rudy ended up wearing one of those out. Did he really?
I think so.
Out of those?
Yeah.
I think so.
I wore the football.
I wouldn't trust myself that the wind could tear that thing in half.
I think he wanted that.
Yeah.
He definitely was baiting the wind.
Yeah.
He was tempting fate.
Yeah.
Oops, my penis flopped all the way out.
Oh, dude, my dick just popped out.
He's a cool exhibitionist.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Whoopsies.
My cock just flopped
all over the A train.
What would an uncool
exhibitionist be like?
Like a nerdy-ass
Woody Allen?
Like, oh,
I spilled my dick.
Oh, no.
My balls are out for the entire grade school to see.
That's a pretty good Woody Allen.
I've never even watched his movie,
except for Midnight in Paris is the only one I've watched.
Same.
That's a good movie.
Ants?
You did Ants?
Ants is Woody Allen?
Yeah.
What?
An animated movie? Yeah. What? An animated movie?
Yeah.
Good ass movie.
Damn.
That actually might make me rethink everything I think about Woody Allen.
Midnight in Paris is a good movie, too.
You don't like that?
No, it's not.
You don't like that movie?
No, it's not.
Oh, I loved that movie.
What did you like about it?
It was good.
It was a cast for ants.
I think Danny Glover is that?
I think he dies.
That cast for ants is crazy.
Ants is great.
There's no reason that cast should have gone like that.
Gene Hackman, Danny Glover, Sharon Stone, Sylvester Stallone.
Wait a minute.
He didn't direct Ants, though, did he?
Yeah, he did.
Didn't he?
I think he did.
I think he plays Z.
I love that movie.
Also, a Michael Scott quote.
I love Woody Allen, but the only movie I've ever seen is Ants.
He didn't even direct it.
Oh, fuck.
It wasn't as good as Bug's Life.
And neither of them even
I'm close to a B movie.
Well, Bugs Life's pretty
good. I thought Ants was better than a Bugs Life.
B movie might be the best animated movie
ever. That's crazy. I
love that movie.
The movie's amazing.
Bunch of studio Ghibli heads are about to be in your
mentions. Probably. Spirited away.
Fuck that. Moana's Probably. Spirited away. Fuck that.
Moana's good.
Milan?
Moana.
Moana?
I haven't seen any of the new Pixar besides Inside Out.
That rocked.
Inside Out was terrible.
It was the worst Pixar movie.
Inside Out's not great.
It's the worst Pixar movie.
I thought it was pretty good.
I don't want to go into the mind of a suicidal 13-year-old.
Yeah, it was pretty depressing.
Was she suicidal?
Yeah. She was just depressed. She she suicidal? Yeah, she was.
Yeah.
She was away from home?
She was just depressed.
She wasn't suicidal.
Nah, I was thinking.
She ran away from home.
I don't want to see that shit.
I confuse it with Osmosis Jones.
That's not a Pixar movie at all.
Yeah, but that's inside of a person.
It's Bill Murray, right?
Yeah.
I confuse it with the episode of The Magic School Bus where they go inside.
It feels like they went inside.
It's like every episode.
Yep.
It's frizzled. They're always going inside of someone.
Which is...
Were they asking first?
Yeah, exactly. That sounded a little non-consensual to bring the whole field trip in there.
How'd they get in?
The school bus.
The nose, the ears.
The nose, the ears.
Enus hole, perhaps.
One kid that never did it At his old school
Shut up
Fucking fish on there
Finding out he's pregnant
He's inside of his girlfriend
Oh fuck
In a big ass penis
What the fuck
No
He found out on the bus
This isn't supposed to be Oh fuck What the fuck? No. He found out on the bus.
This isn't supposed to be.
Oh, fuck.
No.
I feel like every year a Pixar movie comes out,
and there's like a non-Pixar movie that also comes out that has a similar plot.
And I think that Ants is the only one to have beaten the Bugs Life
at where the similar plot movies happen. I think Ants is the only one to have beaten the Bugs life at where there's similar plot movies happen.
I think Ants is better than Bugs.
Can we pull up the Ants death scene or will that get taken down?
I think Danny Glover dies.
He's just talking.
Thumbs down from TJ.
Pixar, now all the movies that they release are just blatantly for adults.
And I don't like that.
What do you mean?
It's clearly aimed at adults who still watch animated movies.
It's not aimed at kids anymore, and they made kids' movies that were so good
adults would watch them, and I think they flipped it around at some point.
Are you saying the Buzz Lightyear movie was too woke?
I didn't watch that one, but I'm not saying that.
It was a little woke for me, to be honest.
I wasn't saying that.
I'm just saying the Star movies are made for a higher level.
Is there evidence to that?
Are you showing them to the kids?
Maybe it's just taking a watch.
What kid's going to watch Inside Out?
My little sister's loved Inside Out.
Really?
They love it.
I think it's all just too woke.
I think they're directed at kids,
but they probably know that a lot of kids' parents watch it with them.
So they probably try and make a good in-between.
I didn't like Insidebetween. Isn't the new
Velma and Scooby-Doo black? People are up
in arms about that. Brandon called me.
No, they're lesbian. You see what's going on in the mystery
machine?
They're confirmed lesbian. Who is?
I swear to God. Velma and Daphne?
No, no, no. Just Velma.
She falls for somebody who turns out, spoiler,
to be, I think, a bad guy.
A bad lady.
A bad lady. Bad lady.
They pull the mask off and it's just a dude.
You're not gay.
That is confirmed.
Hell yeah.
I would have fucked her, too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids.
And Little Mermaid's black, too.
Oh, yeah.
The hell's going on, guys?
We've got to take this back. Mermaids can't be black. Little Mermaid's black too. Oh yeah. The hell's going on guys.
Gotta take this back.
They uh mermaids can't be black.
Read a book.
Oh fuck.
And in the Buzz Lightyear movie
there was
there's some homosexuality
going on too.
Yeah.
Oh really I thought it was Buzz.
I thought Buzz was gay.
Oh.
Hell no.
You thought Buzz Lightyear was gay? I don't really? I thought it was Buzz. I thought Buzz was gay. Oh. Hell no. You thought Buzz Lightyear
was gay?
I don't know.
I thought there was
something about like
I thought it was dudes
kissing in that movie.
It is but I don't think
it's Buzz Lightyear.
No it's gals kissing.
Ah what's wrong with that?
Dark man.
There's two gay.
There's two gay bitches
out here.
Just kidding.
I'd argue Buzz lasers them.
He's homophobic.
Oh, big time.
Big time.
Yeah.
Damn.
Can we at least get an image of the gay Buzz Lightyear kiss?
I'm curious.
It is hilarious seeing people get so fired up over this stuff.
Brandon, you're definitely holding back some takes right now.
Why do y'all keep doing this?
You definitely got some takes on y'all.
No, Brandon is the most wokest man in Mississippi.
He was the first one to have them take down the flag.
That's true.
I know, and I have always told people that fact about you.
I've always led with that.
Voted against it in 2001.
Rainbow flag.
Rainbow flag.
Yeah, can we pull up the gay buzz?
Or it might just be Yeah, yeah.
They just look
at each other.
And she goes in.
Wait, they put a warning?
Attention parents. Wait Wait they were gonna
Fast forward through it
That's actually a bold move
They're watching a movie
And they fast forward
What does he hear
At the theater
Damn those gays
Are fucking fast
How fast they fuck
I wanna try that
That looks awesome
I want to try how fast they fuck
that would be nuts
come in star command
and there's like a scene
Where she like walks in
And closes the door
What's the one
Soul I haven't been able to finish
I tried to start it on like
Three different flights
Encanto's good as hell
Is Encanto Pixar?
Oh I don't know
Soul is
I thought so
Coco was right
Coco was good
I don't know
That was so good
Coco was good
I don't know
I thought I saw like
The newest Pixar When I saw Inside Out.
How many have been since then?
We looked this up recently.
There's like a thousand.
There it was.
There it was.
That was the gatekeeper?
Ew.
Look at Buzz.
Look at the way he looked at it.
Put it back.
Put it back.
What?
I got to get off this shit.
Wait, why is Buzz like a straight up dude in this one?
He's on a toy.
Yeah, right.
So it's like.
The story of the character.
Yeah.
Oh.
It's a movie that.
It's a toy that's made about.
Yeah, he bought the toy in 95 and the toy was based on this movie.
And that's the movie.
What the fuck? Oh, yeah. This's the movie. Yeah. What the fuck?
This is the movie Andy watched.
Yes.
There wasn't gay kissing in 95.
That's what I mean.
That's why I was super woke.
How do you think Andy's life turned out?
Because Andy's now, what, 35 years old?
I think Andy was like my exact age, birthday and all.
He was a cancer.
Yeah.
He was hard on his sleeve.
Are you Andy?
Might be. Back to the bottom of his foot. Or it's hard on his sleeve. Are you Andy? Might be.
Check the bottom of his foot.
Well, that wouldn't make sense.
He didn't write it on his own foot?
I got out of that situation.
What are you doing, Andy?
I'm writing my name on my shoes.
There's got to be, if you Google it, I bet you'll find people who have a giant Andy tattoo on their foot.
That would hurt bad.
I'm sure that's out there.
Yeah, that would kill. We used to write that on people's foot. That would hurt bad. I'm sure that's out there. Yeah, that would kill.
We used to write that on people's foot when they would pass out at a state.
Back up a state.
By the way, how was state?
That's a good prank.
Oh, states.
It was awesome.
Yeah.
First of all, it was like a perfect fall day.
It was like 68 degrees.
Or not.
It was cold in the morning, but it was like perfect fall weather.
It was beautiful.
Fantastic.
Where did you all eat at?
Where's every place that you ate?
We just ate in the hotel.
That sucks.
And we didn't get to go out and eat a nice meal.
I just had a Reuben in the hotel.
The Graduate.
Really interesting place.
What, did they make the rooms throwback-ish?
Everything.
The walls were like bookshelves.
I like that, though.
Wallpaper of bookshelves, not bookshelves.
Don't they have those in a lot of college towns?
Probably.
And each room is a little bit like the decor is specific to the town.
And a gigantic Nittany Lion lamp.
Yeah, it's always specific to the town.
And then my pillow had two beds.
I had a wee bed and an R bed.
Yes.
What?
Oh.
I didn't.
How come, Rowan, how come when we went, we stayed in an Airbnb?
Because we decided the day before we were going to go
when the entire town was sold out.
Makes sense.
Auburn weekend.
I would much rather stay in a hotel than an Airbnb.
Airbnbs suck.
Airbnbs are terrible.
I don't want to clean up after myself.
1% of 1%.
You need to have an elite Airbnb.
Unless you're going on a vacation like, a nice-ass Airbnb.
I think I'd still rather have a hotel.
Or, like, if it's a big group.
If I was going, like, to, like, a beach place with, like, my friends, I would like an Airbnb,
because that's kind of fun.
Beach place, like a beach?
Yeah, like a beach town.
But, like, in, like, something like that, yeah, definitely a hotel.
Like even with your friends?
Yeah.
I get one when I go to Starkville.
It's just like there's little cottages that you don't have to deal with anybody else.
You don't have to go to hotels.
And it's the same price as a hotel.
Well, all the Starkville hotels have outdoor hallways.
First of all, not only is that not true, I think you know that's not true.
You didn't go with Caleb, though.
You weren't on the Dixie Tour.
Never mind.
No, I did.
It does not.
No, I went with him.
You know that's not true.
You know we have a Hilton.
You know we have a La Quinta.
And you know we have a Marriott.
We have all these things.
We stayed there.
We looked at every hotel in town.
We have a courtyard by Marriott, and we have all of them.
Everything had outdoor hallways.
I got a courtyard by the Marriott, and we have all of them. Everything had outdoor hallways. I got a courtyard by the Marriott.
Marriott.
Marriotts are nice.
The Hiltons are rough.
I've been staying in a lot of Hiltons lately.
Hiltons are rough?
Yeah.
Are you getting your honors points?
That's a low bar for roughs.
I'm getting my honors points.
I had one bad Hilton in Providence.
I think all of Providence is bad, isn't it?
Providence is not a nice city. Etchnicky and
an Embassy Suites. That's my domain.
For real? Yeah.
Love Embassy Suites. For real?
Yeah.
When I own a house, I want the design
to be similar. I want a glass
elevator in the middle. An Embassy Suites hotel.
But I stayed in Austin.
The atrium is very... I don't know, I love it.
Are they all atrium?
I feel like it's really tempting suicide.
There's always good plant life.
Double trees are like that and you get the cookies.
I don't know if they still do the cookies, but.
Oh, yeah, they do the best.
Have you guys ever been to the Marriott in Atlanta?
It's Marriott.
Definitely not Marriott.
So are all embassies have an atrium?
Yeah.
Now have indoor balconies?
I think so.
What'd you have to do?
Ew.
I can smell that photo.
Fuck it, you gotta marry it.
Dude, have you...
The Marriott in...
Damn.
The Marriott in Atlanta is like...
I think it's the biggest hotel in Atlanta,
but the balcony is like...
Its balcony is the whole way up, and it's got to be 500 floors.
It's kind of creepy to look at.
It's not 500 floors, Tess.
Dude, if you pull it up, it's probably not 500, but it goes up real high.
I feel like these are the hotels that go viral every year for like, oh, this high school's here and they're
all on the balcony on the different floors
doing a song from their musical.
That's always a thing.
I just always imagine someone jumping off of it.
Yes, I do too. The Luxor specifically
in Las Vegas as well.
No thanks.
Are there a bunch of movies that were filmed there?
Instead of what? In there? bunch of movies that were filmed there? Mm-hmm.
Instead of what?
In there?
They film movies in there?
Oh, it just said something about the Hunger Games.
Whoa.
I could see that.
Imagine staying there, though, and they're filming the Hunger Games.
That would be annoying.
Would you film in a second one?
Are they?
I thought there was a second. There's like three.
I think there's four.
Like a new sequel to the series.
You mean the Squid Games?
Do I mean the Squid Games?
Hunger Games.
Oh, I mean Hunger Games.
Pretty similar.
I never even watched Squid Games.
The film in Germany rocked.
It was.
It was good.
Yeah.
The Ballad of Songbirds.
The Ballad of Songbirds.
I don't think the Hunger Games should have The Ballad of Songbirds.
That's too good of a title for this.
You got Dinklage in there?
You just don't like the main character.
Who, me?
I never saw that.
No, it's good.
Katniss?
Yeah.
Or is that the other movie?
Oh, it's Katniss, right?
Katniss Everdeen?
Ever?
Damn, bro.
Good movie.
We should all go to the movies together.
I would love that.
That would be...
We should put the slush fund to us renting out a movie theater,
getting rowdy, throwing popcorn.
Theaters in New York are so nice, too.
Yeah.
They all have recumbent chairs.
I've never been to a theater in New York.
Really?
They're amazing.
After this show?
Probably.
Maybe.
I don't know. Big old leather chairs.
Are there movies out right now?
Movies are out, TJ.
Bros? You go see Bros?
You go see Bros.
I've already seen it a few times.
Yeah, but like...
I think there's some subtle details I missed.
I just want...
The action is a fucking genius, man.
And the fucking isn't that fast in it, which is confusing me.
Well, the thing is, I think it was fucking slow.
So like we could get some pointers,
stuff to try at home.
I always wanted to go to one of those like theme movie nights,
like a town will play the big Lebowski and everyone dresses up like the
characters.
And like,
they have like white Russians for sale and blah,
blah,
blah.
Like I want to do something like that.
I did that once for the room.
Oh,
nice.
Did you bring a spoons? Yeah. I did that once for The Room. Oh, nice. Did you bring spoons?
Yeah.
We saw that the day that Disaster Artist came out.
Oh, very cool.
Oh.
Did we see Black Adam?
Let's go see Tar with Cate Blanchett.
Is it Art House?
Is it Art House?
I don't know.
I just saw it up there.
Is that the one where it's like Tar Pit?
Is it a Tar Pit movie?
I thought there was a show called Le Bray or like Tar Pit? Is it a Tar Pit movie? I thought there was a
show called like La Brea or something about
the LA Tar Pit comes back and
sucks everyone in.
Oh, but this is very different.
What's this about?
I mean, 94%.
I gotta see this.
I can't read that. I can't either.
Sask, give us the writer.
Writer, producer, Todd Fields.
From writer, producer, director Todd Fields comes Tar,
starring Cate Blanchett as Lydia Tar,
the groundbreaking conductor of a major German orchestra.
You meet Tar at the height of her career as she's preparing both of them.
Nah, dude.
No.
How long is it?
It's got to be six hours long.
Two hours and 38 minutes.
Jesus Christ.
Holy shit.
German orchestra.
That movie is sucking its own dick.
So many bad buzzwords there.
I bet it's dope, though.
I'm definitely watching that.
I heard Black Adam was bad.
No.
I heard it was like okay.
I heard that The Rock was at like a screening of it
and everyone was like this song.
No.
Apparently it wasn't the reaction.
That seems to be,
I would never,
I don't think I would ever do that
if I was like in a movie.
Seems to be a reoccurring thing where people are like, the star of the movie will go to
the movie and then people don't like it and then they're pissed.
He spoiled the post-credits scene as he was doing his press tour.
Why?
What happens in the post-credits scene?
Spoiler alert.
Henry Cavill's Superman comes back.
Oh.
I don't follow any of that shit. I don't know. I don't follow any of those Superman. Yeah, I have. I don't follow any of that.
I don't know.
I don't follow any of those Super...
Yeah, I have no idea.
Marvel, any of that.
No, I don't.
I fell off after, like, the Avengers.
I don't have, like, the section of the brain
that lets you care about superheroes.
Yeah, I don't have that.
Avengers.
No, I'm jealous.
What section is that?
Jealous.
I don't know.
It is funny that it's a type of person.
It is.
It's very, you're in or you're out.
I'm happy for Robbie Fox.
I'm glad he loves it.
I think it seems exhausting.
It sounds like you're shitting on him.
I know you're shitting on him.
No, I used to not like him either.
Good for him.
I didn't like him either, and I never got into it,
and I was always like, these movies look stupid as fuck.
And then I watched Avengers Infinity War.
Yeah.
It was like this fucking rules.
That movie is so good.
Do Latinos ever like them?
When Thor comes back?
Latinos like them.
I got the chills.
Jacked guys.
The Rush Hour 2 is their top dog.
For Latinos, yeah, Latinos obviously enjoy a car movie,
but I'm saying do they enjoy Marvel movies?
Because I think they do.
That's a fair stereotype.
Tyler, the creator, just discovered that Rush Hour 3 came out.
He didn't think it ever came out.
He had a nice little surprise.
He was just living under a rock. Yeah. I didn't know Rush Hour 3 came out. He didn't think it ever came out. He had a nice little surprise. He was just living under a rock.
Yeah.
I didn't know Rush Hour 3 came out either.
I couldn't tell you when it came out.
I never saw it.
It did come out.
I saw it in theaters.
You did?
Definitely.
I was a massive fan of the franchise.
I didn't watch it twice, but I saw it in theaters.
Did you guys see Diddy as the Joker?
Yeah, that was wild.
Yeah, with the whole crew around him and everything.
And he almost fought that guy.
And Obes was just there filming him.
I know, I know.
That was crazy.
I couldn't tell, which is a sign of a good Joker.
Whatever he was.
He should be the Joker.
Somebody said, oh, he's a great Joker, but he was just talking like Diddy.
Which is awesome.
Right, but he wasn't trying to talk.
The way he was really hushed.
I love the creature. Oh, I he wasn't trying to talk. The way he was like really hushed. Tyler the Creator.
Oh, I didn't see this part.
What?
He's the crapper in the world.
He looks beautiful.
Beautiful.
Boom.
This is top tier.
The one where he's arguing with the dude in the street.
Yeah, that's the one I saw.
Who are we looking at?
Diddy.
That's Diddy? Yeah. That's Did with the dude in the street. Yeah, that's the one I saw. Who are we looking at? Diddy. That's Diddy?
Yeah.
That's Diddy as Jack Nicholson.
Does Tyler know that that was Diddy?
I would assume so.
It's going to be a glorious night when you bump into Tyler, the creator.
Let's go.
Fun fact, he was still getting his Joker haircut every six hours.
Yeah.
At the party that night.
Wait, he was Jack Nicholson's Joker with Heath Ledger's Joker?
That's not Jack Nicholson's Joker.
KFC tweeted it.
I'm pretty sure.
Yeah, the one where it's like,
you can't tell if they're really about his height or not.
Yeah.
His neck's white.
That's what was throwing me off.
His neck looked like an unpainted white man's neck.
I think that's probably the makeup.
Probably.
That obes in the background.
And the one that KFC tweeted it is.
I can't quite explain it,
but I don't mean this,
but the ladies who dress up like Harley Quinn
just annoy the shit out of me for some reason.
Like, I feel like...
She's never been in a good movie.
Just a specific type of lady dressing up as Harley Quinn that I just is not my cup of
tea.
So this is the one I saw where this guy.
He's serious.
And he's like, seriously, he doesn't know it's Diddy and he's like trying to fight him.
That's hilarious.
He's being annoying as hell.
Oh, yeah.
That's funny. Joker. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You say you don't like me? Then motherfucking get to it, nigga. Oh, shitty.
That's funny.
Joker.
Don't fucking play with me on Halloween.
I'm not out here with love, nigga.
You want to have love?
It's what up, nigga?
What's up?
Okay, well, that's what I said.
Then I'll bust your shit.
Nah, hey, keep it pimpin'.
Everybody relax.
You don't never talk to me like that, nigga.
I'm love, nigga.
You gonna come steal my energy?
I'm not even letting him get you out here, man. I fucking love Diddy. That's so crazy. You're gonna come steal my energy?
I fucking love Diddy.
That's so crazy.
He's like my favorite star now.
Can't wait till his album comes out.
Oh yeah.
Still doing that?
Of course.
Still doing shows.
Why wouldn't he?
It's for rock boys.
KB, what have you been thinking about all show, dude? You've been pensive as hell.
I don't know.
Stimulate me.
All right.
What's your favorite nuts?
Yeah.
Oh, jeez.
You don't like them?
That was not good.
Pistachios.
The only wrong answer.
No, pistachios are by far the best.
You get a bad one.
Yeah.
Oh, those are bad.
The best tasting.
They're good except for the bad ones.
Does Stephen Chay do this?
Because this is a very phoned in rundown.
Yes.
It only has...
We're so sponsored now.
Yeah, we're so sponsored.
We've got to have all that.
He probably just wants us to watch his video.
What was he doing with the Ravens, by the way?
That's where the Bucks were playing.
That's JPP.
Yeah.
That video had to have been staged, right?
Yeah.
I think so.
It wasn't much to do.
You can even see the way he launches it to it.
Yeah, like he starts standing still.
Beep, beep.
Yes, sir.
Let's go.
I hate that.
What's up? What's up?
What's up?
Shit.
Beep, beep.
Yes, sir.
But he dapped up his busted up hand.
Yes.
And it still made a loud clap.
He's got those gloves on.
Ah, you're right.
Those things smack.
Yeah, okay.
Sash, that sounds like someone who's been dapping up. I don't know a half-hearted dap from JPP, though, thing's smack. Yeah, okay. Sash, that sounds like someone who's been dapping.
I don't have a half-hearted dap from JPP, though, at the end.
Yeah, Roan, by the way, I'm going to the Bills game on Sunday,
so time to get some tickets my way.
Roan told me the other day that we have, like,
an amount of game time tickets, and he's just been using all of them.
Yeah.
What do you mean Roan told you?
You didn't know that?
It's me and him.
It's for us from game time. Oh. For our podcast.
And he's just been using every single one.
Wow.
Asshole.
What do you mean?
Mean.
Sounds like he's just.
No, he told me.
He said I've been hiding.
Sounds like he's just doing him.
He told me when he was drunk.
I went to one game.
No, you did not.
You've been going to every single game.
You've been going to games every week.
We went to the Phillies.
So that's the second one.
No way.
Ron, you've been to every single Eagles game.
You were at the Eagles yesterday.
Not through game time.
Yeah.
You're my brother-in-law.
No way in hell.
Why no way in hell?
You told me this in confidence.
You just didn't expect me to care.
And then I didn't care, and then it kind of boiled and I was like
actually maybe I do care. No, I went to the one
and this is going to be my second one and all the other ones I've
gotten on my own. There's no, I mean
I can pull up your tweets. You've tweeted game time
links like 70 times. Hold them up
then. Fuck you.
Hold them up. I've gone to one.
Are you going to go to Buffalo?
No, it's in New York. Oh.
Oh yeah. Want to come? Yeah. We're out New York. Oh, yeah. You want to come?
Yeah.
We're out of our spend.
You might be able to dip into some for the Pat Bev show because I haven't touched that. Are we actually we're out?
No.
Oh, I mean, the whole company.
The whole company has it.
We all have it under the same umbrella.
Well, I didn't know.
I'm going to the Rangers game tomorrow.
Exactly.
Everyone has used this except for you.
You're like, you're keeping this from me.
You told me you were keeping it from me.
I wouldn't have thought that unless you told me.
So we got the one that I went to, and let's find any other ones then.
You going to the Rangers tomorrow?
Yeah.
I want to come.
I'm on.
I'm going to wear my marash.
There's no others.
I got two Rangers tickets. Anybody wants to go?
Kyle?
I'm going to go.
How'd you get them?
Game time.
Is that?
No.
Damn it.
But I'll be wearing my Roebuck.back roback's performance polos are the only
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That type of shit.
Are you going to go to the Phillies game tonight, Ron?
No, I'm recording the
Pat Bev podcast with Roan, with Pat Bev
today.
When's he going to be in office?
I don't know, are you trying to link
up with him? Yeah. He said that
he's trying to get in this Yak basketball game.
Won a game last night.
I know, it was awesome. Get the nuggets.
It was awesome, I was watching a league pass
from my bed.
Russ came off the bench.
Maybe that's what he needs.
He'll play better off the bench.
Did he actually play better?
I knew.
I didn't pay attention to it.
I just did bet on the Lakers.
I knew what I was talking about.
Did you?
I did.
So did Danny.
Danny has a bet in on everything.
I thought I had the longest release odds.
He has plus 4,500 that he bet in May.
Danny hit a $6,000 parlay this weekend and said to celebrate.
He brought us food.
He brought a dozen donuts.
Yeah.
A dozen duckin' donuts because he won a $6,000 parlay.
That's nice of him.
It's nice, but he's walking around like he's handing out gold.
I mean, I had one of the donuts.
I had a donut.
One of the eyeball ones?
It was vanilla icing.
Yes, there were eyeballs on it.
Yeah, but the eyeball was like gummy, which I thought they should have just done a frosting eyeball.
Yeah.
Eyeballs fell off on mine.
You ever have a donut before?
I stopped with donuts.
I know.
It's like he's an ice cream.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
Donuts are better than the both.
Am I being too loud for you, Kate?
Not even disagreeing. I like jelly-filled.
Does it just feel like the fattest food?
Yeah, it does.
You can't feel good after having a donut.
Donuts and hibachi, I just can't really eat.
Hibachi? Despite my love.
Why?
It really just brings me down.
You feel bad
or you just can't catch the shrimp in your mouth or whatever?
Yeah.
It's the sauce.
The onion volcano.
Yum yum sauce.
Yum yum sauce.
I love it, but nah.
I'm shocked by that.
Buddha Ben would probably be pissed as fuck right now if he heard that.
Same with Gilbert Arenas.
He loves hibachi?
Oh, I mean, he taught that.
Whoever invented the onion volcano, he was bored.
The only reminder, the guy who started Benihana,
that's like the first hibachi restaurant,
his son is Steve Aoki, DJ.
All across Hollywood.
Yes, it's because the Japanese run Hollywood.
Long said that.
Yeah, hard J.
Japanese.
Japanese man.
That Kanye video. Where he's ranting about the Japanese
Yeah
And he's like
I'm not gonna say who
He was a Jewish doctor
Where was he?
He was like having a
Press conference in front of a pizza hut
I know
And he was just like
In a parking lot
With a bunch of cameras around him
What's next for him? He's kind of fucked right? No He's too famous to be fucked for good I know. He was just like in a parking lot with a bunch of cameras around him.
What's next for him?
He's kind of fucked, right?
No.
He's too famous to be fucked for good, right?
Yeah, I agree.
I think he could also just put out music.
That's the good thing with you could just put out a product. The reviews would be like the old Kanye's back or something.
The thing about the red hat that drove me to a point of exhaustion,
which was misdiagnosed by a, I'm not going to say what race, what people, doctor, and what hospital, and what media it went to.
We know I can't say that.
It was a Jewish doctor.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
The arm phone was very calculated.
Oh, God. Oh my god Arm fold was very calculated Oh god Why is he talking like a
I don't know
6 year old
From a sitcom in the 70s
It was very pronounced
What's holding his arms like that
Yeah
Literally folding the arms
Like a fucking
Acting child
He's doing great though
We're talking about
It was still amazing
Talking about Diddy
And fucking
Yay Yay Like shit 2003 Most deaf We're talking about I was dropping out It was still amazing Talking about Diddy And fucking Yay
Yay
Like shit
2003
Most deaf
Underrated
I like most deaf too
He was good on
Chappelle's show as well
Good on Be Kind Rewind
Yeah he's a good actor too
He was
What was that movie
He was in
It was like an ensemble
It was Hitchhiker's Guide
To the Galaxy
No no
No he was
He was in
The Italian Job or some shit.
It was a crime movie.
Was it The Italian Job?
No.
I don't think he was in The Italian Job, was he?
Was it Ocean's Eleven?
No.
Was he British?
Oh, no, that was...
Tower Heist or something?
Fucking...
Was he in?
Mos Def was in some kind of heisty movie.
Yeah.
I remember...
There's a way we could figure this out.
His name was on the poster.
Quickly.
Was it that...
Ants? Was he in Ants? I think he the poster. Quickly. Was it that Ants?
Was he an Ants? I think he was an Ants. Is it called The Heist?
None of these.
I'd like to point out he was in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
No one argued that.
Well, he kind of did.
You dismissed it.
Fuck, I feel like I know what movie you're talking about.
Who's Dave Chappelle's block party?
Not Showtime.
Was he not? Italian Job. That's what it was talking about. It was Dave Chappelle's block party. Not Showtime.
Was he not?
Italian Job.
That's what it was, the Italian Job.
And it wasn't the Italian Job.
Italian Job didn't come out in 2000.
It seemed like it was earlier, but I guess not.
No, it was earlier.
It was definitely like 04.
It was definitely in the DVD collecting days.
Yes, that was not 13.
That shit's a lie.
Big Cat, what's up, brother?
Hey, sorry, guys.
Okay.
Apologize.
That was why. Michael Irvin, Playmaker. Going on to Out's up, brother? Hey, sorry, guys. Okay. Apologize. That was why.
Michael Irvin, playmaker.
Going on out and about right now.
Yeah, he is.
He's one of the only guys that, like,
when, like, yeah, he's 10 minutes late,
I'm like, yeah, I expected that,
and I'd have no problem with it because he walked in and he's stylish
and the fucking man.
There was a lot of eyes on him when he was coming in.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's my bad.
I walked in behind him,
and I strategically walked in slow so I didn't have to go in
the same elevator as him.
Nice.
He was great.
Him and his team.
Yeah, he was late.
He was late.
We did have it scheduled, so I wouldn't have to miss the act, but he was about 30 minutes
late, so that's my fault, guys.
He looks incredible.
I was like, he looks great.
He looks great.
Yeah, I know.
I'm covering for him, though, because he's-
He's a great suit.
He's a fucking man.
He had a Louis bag with him, too.
He's got great hair.
Great hair. He's great. He's fly as hell yep i was at i asked him uh i don't know why but i love
asking whenever we have someone on who's like you know their stories of like the crazy times
just asking them simply like do you just stop every now and then just be like damn that was a
lot of fun he's like oh yeah i always like damn that was a lot of fun. He's like, oh, yeah. I always am like, damn, that was a lot of fun.
Yeah, we talked about the White House.
He had a house for their sexual escapade.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That's all the house was for.
Yeah.
He had a fucking house.
He had a stripper's dude.
Yeah.
He had a straight fucking house.
It's called the White House.
Yeah.
They would just take bitches there and fuck them.
Yeah.
Like the team?
Also.
Yeah.
No, like all.
I don't know if you've ever asked, but Deion involved too, right?
No, Deion. He said Deion didn't go to the White House.
Deion doesn't drink.
Okay.
But yeah, no, he told the whole story about the White House.
We've had him on before, but he...
I wonder how nice the bedding and everything was there.
Was it like, just mattresses loose, or were they...
No, I think it was a real, like someone was taking care of the house.
Who?
I think they hired someone.
So a nanny was just cleaning up the.
Yeah.
We should get a fuck house.
Definitely.
Why don't we have a fuck house?
Shit would be a bando real quick.
None of us.
We'd start trapping out the fuck house.
Yeah.
That would be the best mixtape name ever.
Where are we going to get a fuck house?
Jersey?
Boneyard?
Yeah Come over to our
masturbation house
There it is
Yeah we just
go in separate rooms
We have a huge blanket
we all get under it
Was he the guy
who tweeted like
when it was cold
it was cold
Yeah
Yeah
Man
Yeah
What was the exact tweet?
When we played
When we played in that cold, it was cold.
It was cold.
He's got some funny tweets.
He also had one that was like, right when Corona started, he was just like, I don't
know about you guys, but I feel like Corona shouldn't be selling these beers anymore.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he's the man.
What's up?
What have we been yakking about?
We've talked a lot of movies.
A lot of movies.
A lot of movies.
All right, good that I missed that.
I've never seen one.
Oh, my God.
I just admitted it.
Yeah.
Outright.
That is right.
You haven't seen one.
You guys got the Pizza Hut stuff on?
Yeah.
We had the new quesadillas.
Yeah.
Yak.
Yeah.
Pizza Hut melt.
Come on. Pizza Hut Melt. Come on.
Pizza Hut Melt.
We also announced that people are going to be able to take a picture with their Pizza Hut Melt,
reply to the announcement tweet,
and we're going to be picking eight people from those submissions to throw in a wheel,
and one of them will play Yak basketball.
Oh, hell yes.
So we'll be able to pick them.
I kind of want people to send in audition tapes.
That will fast track you to the wheel.
One minute highlight reel.
Yeah, that is a good way to get on the wheel if you have a good reel.
I'm excited for Yak basketball.
I'm excited for that.
I've been strategizing in my brain about how.
Me too.
I've been thinking about, A, how I'm going to play, expend myself,
if I'm going to offer allegiances to anybody like Survivor. Pick and roll? Roll, A, how I'm going to play, expend myself, if I'm going to offer allegiances to anybody like
Survivor.
Pick and roll?
You can't do that.
I think we all should
agree to not
play hard defense unless Brandon
has the ball. I welcome
that. Oh, really?
Your stamina? I prefer that.
Your stamina? Only going to eat the ball once.
You had your Pizza Hut sweatshirt on for two
seconds. You already got dandruff all over.
That's not dandruff. That's from the
Pizza Hut. That's cheese sprinkling.
It's from the Pizza Hut. I was a little worried about it.
I'm only going to eat the ball once, so
I'm good. No, you're not.
There's no fouls.
Not worried.
Are we playing one session or two?
I think one, maybe two.
Maybe a knockout after?
We could do one after.
Maybe we get one of those trampolines out there, too.
Non-court, yeah.
A little dunk action.
I don't think I'd be able to do it.
I don't think I would either.
I would hurt myself so bad.
One of us would die.
I'd blow my knee out on impact of the trampoline.
And then you'd have to land on your knee after.
Oh, you think you could do it.
Yeah, I'm in my head.
I actually think Kyle could do it.
You're cocking that joint back.
Brandon, you cannot do that.
Come up on a trampoline and land on a pad?
Brandon, you would go through the trampoline.
Brandon, your feet would hit the ground.
My God, it's hard.
It's very hard.
Then you're going to hit the rim.
You go.
You go.
So we'll set it up.
It's a tough trampoline.
We'll set it up.
You go high up.
Buy tickets.
Buy tickets to the barstool invitational.
Brandon Walker's going to try to dunk off a trampoline.
Brandon, you would.
No, you're going to try to dunk off a trampoline.
You can't get that high up in the air.
You would land and get hurt.
Off a trampoline?
Think about how awesome this would be. You would land on the trampoline, though. You would land on a pad. This would be a great moment for everyone high up in the air. You would land and get hurt. Off a trampoline? Think about how awesome this would be.
Land on the trampoline, though.
Land on a pad.
This would be a great moment for everyone who comes to the game.
You get to see Brandon try to jump off.
I got other things I got to do.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
What else do you have to do?
Other things.
Or just say you can't do it.
At night?
Say you can't do it.
Yes, at night.
I got other things to do.
If you're not going to do it, just say that you can't do it.
Because if you could do it, you would.
That's a fact. Ladies, if you want to do it, you would. I can't do it. Because if you could do it, you would. That's a fact.
Ladies, if you want to do it, you could.
You could do it?
I can do it.
All right, so then we'll set it up.
Also, Eric.
I will make sure that we have this set up.
Stop.
Every man in here should believe he could do it.
Wow.
Every person in here should believe he could do it.
Fuck off.
Space Jam.
Everyone.
No, knowing your limitations.
There's nobody in here that should believe they can't jump off a trampoline and dunk a basketball.
Running?
It's not a normal, like if it was just like a flat trampoline below the thing, obviously.
Look at the guys that do it.
They're like 5'8".
They're like 100 pounds.
You know how athletic that guy was?
That was Meek Mill.
He was doing flips.
We're going to set it up.
I will set it up.
I'll make sure it's set up.
I don't have. Oh, yeah, yeah. Do it another time. Oh. You can't do set it up. I will set it up. I'll make sure it's set up. I don't have...
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Do it another time.
You can't do it.
This is the only time.
What do you mean, another time?
What other time is there?
You can't do it another time.
Literally the best time.
Can we just see, not Meek Mill doing, let's see, any other exhibition of this.
Pull up Lucky from...
Any other exhibition of this.
They do that every game.
This guy is 10 times more athletic.
No way in hell could you even...
I'm not doing the flips, Sass.
I don't think you need to make it to the hell could you even. I'm not doing the flip, Sass.
I don't think you need to make it to the hoop.
Agreed.
You're not making the dunk on your hoop. And if you did, you would grab the hoop and your legs would swing toward it.
You would probably die.
Land on your neck.
You guys are acting like we're going to war.
This is dunking a basketball with a trampoline.
But you're jumping from like ten feet away.
You guys are putting too much danger
and too much difficulty to this.
This is not hard. Your body would be going
to war. It would be
your decrepit fat body
going against athleticism. Your body is not meant to be that
high off the ground. No.
See, this is crazy because I am
realistic. The only
reason I've been able to avoid injury is that
I cannot get high off the Yeah. Yeah. There's
got to be a video of like first time trying.
Oh, it's not sure I want him to do it.
I've seen the super fact. This is going to be
great for getting people in the house.
We are going to do it.
Put you on an evil Knievel cape.
Brandon's going over the Snake River Gorge
as my kids are going to change us. Remind
us not him. Did you
try out for slam ball?
That's exactly what would happen to you.
Can we do a fire hoop?
Can we have Brandon jump through a fire hoop?
Oh, yeah, fire.
That's what that guy was trying to do.
What else could he have done?
He didn't chicken out.
He was trying to do that.
He still did it.
Brandon's right on that part.
Brandon, but that's what would happen.
No, it's not.
That guy was 400 pounds.
Here's the best part.
We're going to find out.
We're going to find out.
We're going to find out.
Now I'm extremely excited.
Can you just show us your load up?
We're all going to be peer-punched with the diet.
Show us how you would load up.
Yeah, use this block as the-
We all admitted that we can't do it.
You should not admit that.
You should be able to do this.
Fine.
Brandon, what the hell is going on?
I'm the only one that's right here.
Here's what we'll do.
Brandon, if you can jump on the trampoline and dunk on the first try without badly injuring yourself, I will also try.
I'm going to go ahead and—
Everyone else?
No.
Why not?
I'm so uncoordinated that my body would be flailing around in the air.
I have proven that I could do it.
I thought I was leading us into battle.
All right, I've ever sinned.
I just look back and all my guys were gone.
Hell no.
Hell no.
No, I'm not doing it myself.
Again, if I prove that I could do it at this, you couldn't do it at 21 years old and in shape?
You are 21.
You should be.
I already said I don't.
Like, I'm not athletic.
It's a trampoline. I've never said I already said I don't, like I'm not athletic. It's a trampoline!
I've never said I'm athletic. I lose all control of myself.
Yeah. I gotta admit, Brandon's
kind of swaying me. It's a
trampoline! Oh, no, no. It's from the
foul line. No, it's not!
Yes, it is! No, that shit is impossibly
hard. It's not the foul line.
We'll put it in the regular spot. Yeah, it's in the regular spot.
It's in the paint. No, it's the foul line. It's the regular spot.
No, it's not. Yes. I's the regular spot. No, it's not.
I did the video with the Celtics dunk squad.
There are some that are right there that it's not the foul line.
It is. If you don't do it from the foul line,
you're just going to go through the
fucking back.
You're going to hit the back of the net.
And you have no practice. I'm starting to believe in you.
I want you to know I'm starting to believe in you.
I've lost a lot of respect for a lot of people in here. I'm starting to believe in you. I lost a to know I'm starting to believe in you. I've lost a lot of respect for a lot of people in here. I'm starting to believe
in you. I lost a lot of respect when you couldn't jog
half a mile.
Fair enough, but this isn't jogging
half a mile. It is, though.
It's not. Yes, it is.
You need a core to do that.
You need to be able to.
Not a strong core, just a core.
Because you still hit that mat hard.
Brandon has no core.
No.
Just a gooey middle.
You think you can do it.
That's what I'm saying.
KB works out every day.
Right.
Holding onto the ball is equally hard as KB might.
KB has a core. I don't think it's an athleticism.
KB might be able to do it.
Getting to the rim, I don't think it's an athleticism.
This is not an incredible feat of athleticism, guys.
It's more of a confidence thing.
I'm more worried, KB, if you did it, I'm more worried you'll fly out of the arena because
you're so athletic.
That'd be hilarious.
You'd go over the fucking roof.
It is extremely athletic.
And you're not going to have-
Not a feat of athleticism is dead wrong.
You're not going to have any-
Only the best athletes can do.
This is not an extreme feat of athleticism.
No, it's not.
It is.
Absolutely not.
Show me a non-athletic person doing it.
Show me a non-athletic person doing it.
Anywhere.
People don't just stroll up and fucking throw down
with the dunk squad.
I'm texting right now
the people who are
running the whole show
and I'm saying Brandon
wants to dunk
off a trampoline
during the show.
But make sure
it's the traditional.
It needs to be at the angle.
I don't want him getting
a flat trampoline
because that changes everything.
I think that'd be harder.
I think the angle
makes it the easiest.
No, I think flat trampoline
would be way easier.
Wait, did that guy just do it?
I mean, he's part of the dunk squad.
Brandon.
That's so high up, dude.
Your body cannot...
If you go that high up, you will come down so strong.
Do you think that's what I'm going to be doing?
I am so excited.
I actually hope that is what it is.
I hope Brandon's first dunk...
You're going to go through the backboard.
You guys think I'm going to be doing that?
I'm going to be...
What are you going to go through the backboard. You guys think I'm going to be doing that? I'm going to do it.
What are you going to do?
You have to.
Brandon, they go so high up.
You're going to die.
You're not going to go far enough.
You're not going to go far enough.
I am so excited.
Yeah.
No.
This is going to be one of the greatest moments of your life.
They're getting like seven feet off the ground.
You ain't doing that.
You're going to fucking die.
I guess I'm the only person here who believes in himself. You ain't doing that. Fucking die. I guess
I'm the only person here who believes in himself.
You ain't doing that.
I guess I'm the only person here who believes in himself.
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
Fuck you kind of. Kind of because I'm starting to believe
in you. Fuck you and always fuck you.
Fuck you too. TJ, you seem like
you were on my team a little bit. Big Head, you're going to
have to ask them to get a lot more pads.
Yes. Okay. I will. I could see you launching to the right,
head smacking.
I did.
Oh.
The gorilla did it.
Do you know how athletic he is?
These are ballistic jumpers.
It's a gorilla.
These are leapers professionally.
It might not even let you do it.
No, they're going to.
I'm going to make sure.
He's just got to sign a waiver that he might die.
Oh.
You might hit your head off the fucking railing.
Here's what I'll do for you.
I'll agree that I'll drive your family back home
when you have to go to the hospital.
We have a same car, so it's familiar.
Yeah, exactly.
That's a terrible oops.
Oh, my God.
This is going to be so...
Brandon!
You keep saying, Brandon,
like I'm going to be doing 360 spins.
But you have to.
My only job is to jump up and dunk it.
No, you have to do it from where theirs is.
Yeah, theirs is at the bottom.
All right, it's done.
We'll put some more down.
I've made the request.
He said, consider it's done.
And look at their joints when they hit the ground.
They still have to be bendy and flexible.
Dude, you're going to go to the hospital.
Yes.
Oh!
He did that on purpose.
Oh, my God.
That's just so.
The last one.
No, it's not on purpose.
Yes, it was. Look at the, my God. That's just. The last one. The last one. It's not on purpose. Yes, it was.
Look at the guy.
Making sure he's okay.
You think he did that on accident?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
He sure knew what to do.
Oh, that was a good one.
See, they tumble and roll.
They know what to do.
With authority.
Oh, Brandon.
I hope you do it because that would be a funnier visual to me if you like doing it.
I think everybody here should have to try it.
But we all said we can't do it.
Because you're pussies.
No, you just have hubris.
I do.
You could do it.
Your head would get stuck in the net.
That's right.
Finding Nemo, head staggling.
I just can't imagine.
So excited.
It's going to be a stadium of people watching Brandon just swinging from the rim.
Neck above the rim.
It's going to be like Owen Hart.
I think you might hit your head on the rim, dude.
It could be.
I'm seriously worried.
I'm afraid, and I don't really want you to do it.
If the broadcast goes black for a little bit, Brandon has died.
Can we search, like, trampoline basketball hoop gone wrong?
Oh, no, no, no, because I don't want to.
Well, no, he's in. He's in. Listen.
Yeah, then we should. He's never been more confident
that we should see him gone wrong. Is your family going to be there watching?
Yes. I would bring blindfold.
I wouldn't. Yeah, make sure we'll
find a safe space for them. Yeah, I don't.
I'll take care of them.
Oh, raise your family. It'll be like when someone's like at the front
row of a boxing. Oh, my God,
Sass, you're a mess. Oh, my God, Sass. You're a mess.
Oh, raise your family, Brandon.
All right.
Somebody else has to do it with me.
Oh, I can't watch that. All right.
So here's what we should do.
I don't want to watch that.
Oh, no.
No.
Get it off.
Get it off.
Get it off.
Oh, my God.
No.
I don't want to watch that.
That was awesome.
Boy.
I think this is what we do.
To make it interesting, Brandon's going to do it.
I think loser of yak basketball has to also try.
Oh, yes. We do need a punishment basketball has to also try. Oh, okay.
Yes.
We do need a punishment.
We need a punishment.
This is perfect.
This all has happened so naturally.
You're doing that because you know you won't lose yak basketball.
If I lose, I'll fucking do it.
But you're not going to lose.
Who knows?
I'm going to be in a suit.
I'm going to be in a full suit.
Yeah, I don't think yak basketball is like a,
it really doesn't have that much to do with.
It's hard to shoot in a suit and run in a suit.
Wait, Smitty tried to do it once?
It's hard to be it to...
I got to see Smitty do it.
I got to see him do it.
All right, so you don't want that to be the punishment?
I don't think I'm going to lose, but I like...
There has to be a punishment for Yak basketball,
so we're going to have the same issue.
I think I would get very hurt doing it.
Yeah, me too.
I think loser of Yak basketball should have we're going to have the same issue. I think I would get very hurt doing it. Yeah, me too. I think loser of Yak basketball
should have to give it a shot. And we can also
just make sure the guy that we pick
randomly, let's pick someone who's
the worst athlete
of all time. Wait, is that Smitty?
Wait, did they do a clap?
What is it?
Oh, he's
trying.
Oh, God. trying. He was. Oh, God.
Hey, easy.
Dry run, his second time, and he just touched the rim.
Easy.
This is also 10 years ago.
You don't get a dry run.
I got to have a – that wasn't even – what was that?
He wasn't trying on that one.
I remember they did the clap. I got to at a – that wasn't even – what was that? He wasn't trying on that one. I remember they did the clap.
I got to at least get a practice.
How old is Smitty?
25.
25.
All right, Big Cat, I'm – this isn't dangerous.
It's not dangerous. All right, so loser, this isn't dangerous. It's not dangerous.
All right, so loser of the act basketball.
Loser of the act basketball will also attempt this.
There's a crash, Matt.
Yeah.
But he never gets it.
I think he did a great job.
It's Smitty.
This is Smitty when he's 25 and he's in good shape.
Is that him actually dunking?
No, he got rimmed, though.
Oh, my god.
Shit.
There's no way in hell.
I kind of want to try it.
I kind of want to try it.
I love how they thanked the editors for that.
Piecing together two glitters.
Just throw Yak basketball then.
Are you going to the fightings tonight?
Tomorrow
Nice
It'll be a game time
Yes
I'm going to be in the building tomorrow
Said
Said
Is there a stream tomorrow night?
I don't know
I think there's one tonight
There's definitely one tonight
Tonight
But uh
Tomorrow night
Said
Said I'm not hedging that bet And I'm not fucking Cashing out There's definitely one tonight. Tonight. But tomorrow night. Said. Said.
I'm not hedging that bet, and I'm not fucking cashing out.
What bet?
Let's cash out.
I say cash out.
$15,000.
How much did you put in?
It's $1,000 to win at 40 to 1.
So $1,000 to win $40,000.
And they're offering me $15,000 to get out.
I ain't doing it.
Let's get out.
I wouldn't.
I would immediately. That's me get out. I ain't doing it. Let's get out. Yeah. I wouldn't. I would immediately.
Yeah.
That's me getting out.
If you win tonight, you cash out for like 25.
Yeah.
Or just bet the Astros.
No.
For five.
No.
This is all dumb.
Don't bet the Astros.
Everyone telling me to not, to cash out and to hedge wouldn't have made the bet in the
first place.
That's true.
I can't listen to their advice.
They would have never been in my position.
They don't have the balls.
He's right.
He's so right.
That is true.
I alone have the balls.
Actually, Danny has the balls too because he bet them in May at plus 4,500.
Danny.
Danny must have just put in every bet.
Every bet.
We almost crashed a car coming to go to the airport on Saturday from Michigan
because he had a parlay that was like $30 to win like $5,000.
And I had to say, I was like, I will watch this game for you
because he would just keep swerving, looking at the game.
Like UCF Cincinnati coming down to the last play.
I was like, I will take care of this for you.
He has the fucking balls.
I lost.
I've lost every single bet I've placed since that one weekend where I won all my bets.
Every single bet.
That sounds about right.
I bet every game yesterday.
First means of score field goal.
I want to.
Nice.
Did it wind up being a positive?
Yeah, I thought it was
fun uh no it was they were they were both plus 155 yeah someone actually tweeted me being like
sass needs to be fired his picks are so bad first of all my picks yesterday weren't bad welcome
welcome welcome to gambling you said they all lost what do you mean they weren't bad well it's just
because Gabe Davis didn't score a touchdown and the Patriots were one under hitting the over.
Oh, yeah.
One under from hitting the over.
One point away from hitting the over.
Right, but that's still a loss.
I know, but it's not like those aren't outrageously bad picks.
A loss is a loss.
How was I supposed to know?
Yeah, he's right.
That's the best answer.
That's the best fucking answer.
I didn't know.
Gabe Davis had been scoring every game, and he didn't score this game.
He's supposed to know that his bets weren't going to win.
The game hasn't happened yet.
How was he supposed to know?
Are you okay?
You're getting nervous.
No, I'm getting exactly where I need to be.
I'm getting the right amount of angry at all of you.
Show us one gather.
What does it look like when you gather for a jump?
I'm thinking about dieting for the next 10 days. I'm thinking about dieting for the next 10 days.
Show us a gather in the hallway.
I'm thinking about dieting for the next 10 days and just running.
Dieting?
What are you talking about?
What is dieting going to do?
I'm getting my mind right.
How tall is Smitty?
6'3".
How tall are you?
6'5".
6'5"?
It wasn't about, it's just about you have to be confident enough.
You were doing it for five seconds.
You've got to jump on that trampoline hard enough to get there,
and people are too afraid.
You usually believe in me the most, and now I note this.
I got it.
You wouldn't do it now.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it.
If there was one right now, you would not be able to do it.
I'm going to do it.
We could probably go find somewhere where they have it.
They have it in Philly at the end of next week.
November 4th. November 11th.
I don't know if I can wait that long.
Veterans Day.
My kids are going to see this, man.
So stop doing it. You're the one that agreed to it.
I'm going to do it. You guys are the ones
that don't believe in yourselves.
I'm excited.
Anybody here want to raise your hand
and say Brandon can do it?
I'm half. Why don want to raise your hand and say Brandon can do it? I'm half.
I'm half.
I'm going to go over half.
Why are you half?
You're just being nice to Brandon.
You're doing this to be nice.
Somebody's got to.
You don't have to believe it.
I'm half because he is so adamant.
He's starting to instill confidence.
That's not how Will works.
I think you can do it, but I also think there's a 0% chance you'll walk away completely uninjured.
I think something, you'll either fall flat right through your tongue or you'll snap a leg.
Brandon Walker.
TJ, where are you at?
Brandon Walker, you are one sprained ankle away from just dying.
Yes.
TJ.
Okay, don't pretend that you can handle a severe injury.
I've got to talk to my producer right now.
It's going to be a bad ankle sprain.
You're at zero, are you at half, are you at three quarters?
I think it would be funniest if you just
were able to do a front flip
and throw it down.
TJ, do you believe fully?
Do you believe half? I would like to see you do it.
TJ!
Question is, do you believe?
He could just lie to you.
I'm in the field that I want to believe. He refuses to lie to you. I'm in the field that I want to believe.
He refuses to lie to you.
I like that. Well said.
I would rather believe than
not believe, but I don't believe yet.
Did you
and that guy have a
do-do-do-do-day? No, it was just regular pick central
still. What happened? Nothing. It was just regular
pick central argument by his football team.
Oh, his team is trash.
Yeah.
I'm so excited.
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Sass, hit it, brother.
Oh, for Shady Rays?
It's Shady Rays, baby.
That was good.
Check this out.
I'm making a fucking...
Vortex?
A vortex.
A cyclone.
Bro, we should have a science fair.
Uh-huh.
Oh, we should.
Something our show thought of on its own.
True.
True, true.
Brandon, if you liked Tori or Achilles, you would die. True. True, true. Brandon, if you liked
Tori or Achilles,
you would die.
No.
I think you're going to
fall on your arm.
It's going to be
a compound.
We're not doing this.
It's been a good day.
Except for lunch,
I have a Pizza Hut sweatshirt now.
It's been a good day.
Comfy, too.
Tangerine fall over it?
Yeah.
This is pizza juice.
Why does no one else
have pizza juice?
Because they eat better
than I do.
I'll wipe mine off.
I did have it.
I had it.
I'm thinking it's going to be
probably you're going to
slip up on the takeoff
and then it's going to be
you're going to be
launching like more of an arrow
towards the back of the hoop.
Head I'm thinking
goes straight into the
concussion.
Yeah, concussion
and then you probably land on your wrist or something.
Yeah, broken arm.
It just snaps right in half.
Can people bet on it as part of the event?
Ooh.
That would be fun.
What if we did an over-under hospital bill?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I think what's going to happen is you're going to go straight up on the first jump.
And it's not going to be near high enough.
And it's going to be super disappointing.
And we're going to be like, all right, you could could do it again and then you'll get a little bit closer but that'll be way more calamitous and like that's where you'll get hurt
on the second when was last time you've been more than like two feet in in the air two feet off the
ground two feet from a spider i i don't know my kids had aoline. I've jumped on their trampoline.
And look at his athletic feats video that was put together.
The baseball swing, the golf.
What else?
Seeing Smitty do it and getting so close on his first jump.
Brandon being taller.
I had a home run in softball.
I drove a ball 300 yards, and I drained a three-point shot.
Every athletic feat I've ever been asked to do, I have done,
and I will do this one.
This one you'll get injured.
We'll get hurt.
This is fine.
We'll run a mile.
That one's not fair.
Someone in the crowd is going to catch your tibia like it's a T-shirt.
Wow.
You practice, you do it.
It looks like something you just need to do like 10 reps.
I have to get at least one practice.
That's fair.
I get a practice go.
Yeah, the practice will be on the court.
No, I get a practice go.
I got to get a practice go.
No.
I can't go cold.
The original rule was saying you said you would go cold.
We started off saying you would go cold.
No, you get a practice when we start.
I get a go.
I get a go to see what it's like so that I'm prepared to do it.
My whole lack of belief of you is based on you saying you could do it the first try.
I could do it out there.
That's all I'm—
No, no.
That's what you were saying.
Nobody doesn't practice things.
We know you can do that.
Nobody doesn't practice things.
I get one practice go before the practice.
Yeah.
But you said earlier that you could do it cold, and that's what I didn't believe in.
So now you're trying to make a liar out of me.
Yeah, that's true.
I'm going to make a liar out of you,
but I'm saying I get a practice go.
What I think is going to happen is you're going to get –
You guys are so scared of a practice?
Yes.
Practice.
What I think is going to happen is you're going to do the first jump.
You're going to get pretty high up, not expecting to do that high.
You're going to be looking down and be like,
holy shit, I'm this high up.
And then that's when you just naturally would tip.
I liked it.
We were weightlifting that day and y'all said,
oh, Brandon can't lift the bar.
And I just went out and just threw him up like it was shit.
I said you could.
I don't think anyone said it.
I think we said you should be able to.
We said you have bad strength.
None of you believed it.
I don't think anyone was like,
Brandon's not going to be able to lift, what was it?
185 pounds.
185 pounds.
185.
You could end up wheelchair bound.
I think that's over 3% possibility.
This has been the worst year of your life, and you're tempting fate trying to make something
way worse happen.
It all changes.
Yeah, if you-
Also, my wedding anniversary.
Oh.
Oh.
Today?
Oh, November 11th.
Way to upstage the troops.
Sheesh.
You got married on Veterans Day? Iesh. You got married on Veterans Day?
I did.
You got married on Friday?
No.
It's a Rico joke.
I know.
Okay.
What else we got going on?
It's been the fucking wheel.
Congrats to Nick on doing his Instagram post.
I posted on Instagram today.
Big day.
Yeah.
We're still waiting for Kyle.
Oh, hell yeah.
No comments.
Wow, that's crazy.
Yep.
You'd think you'd get some interaction.
None.
That's wild.
Algorithm's fucked up.
Is that a new picture?
It's a smaller pumpkin this year.
It's a real.
For the algorithm.
You're supposed to be crazy.
How many views is that?
Good on Nikki.
Nice.
Look at those reels.
Is this your only reel?
Yeah.
30,000 views.
Yeah, good numbers.
Not too shabby.
Run it up.
Not bad.
That's better than the reels I try on.
Kate, I try.
Really hard.
Fair enough.
I had to screen record the picture and crop it.
Post it.
At 12.32, when most people were looking at Instagram.
Yeah, that was smart.
Smart.
Resurging the algorithm.
The eyeballs are insane.
Let's get that to 3 million likes.
Yeah, easy.
I think there's actually a better chance of that happening than Brandon making this shot.
I'm the only 10x person here.
Did you guys dress up for Halloween?
No.
No.
I wore the football out.
Oh, nice. Did you, Nick? No. No. I wore the football out. Oh, nice.
Did you, Nick? No.
I dressed up like the ocean on Saturday
morning for the town parade.
Nice.
What did that look like? I just wore a blue coat with fish
taped all over it. Yeah.
And then my son was the shark in the
ocean.
Part of the thing in his wagon.
So I was the ocean pulling it.
Why was the wagon just the ocean?
The wagon could have been a boat maybe.
I feel like I needed to be pulling the wagon.
You should have been Poseidon.
While I was a little hungover.
From the Hennessy?
You were.
You drank a shocking amount of Hennessy.
We finished that bottle of Whistlepig too
the night of the game.
I got banged up.ig too the night of the game. Yeah, we got... I got...
Banged up.
A little banged up.
Tico Texas after the game
sobbed on my shoulder.
She was crying.
I had to comfort her.
Oh, what?
She sobbed about
the Astros losing.
The Astros losing.
She'd never experienced
a loss before.
Yeah.
She was crying
on my shoulder.
Literal real tears
were pouring out of her face.
What was she saying?
She knows
it was a seven game series? I don't know. I don't know. It was her face. What was she saying? She knows the seven-game series?
I don't know.
I don't know.
It was great, though.
It was genuine.
She was, like, genuinely very upset.
She was so sad.
She was crying so hard.
It was like, I mean, like being a young sports fan,
I remember, like, crying after Eagles losses and stuff like that
because I couldn't comprehend it.
I think she was in the same boat.
Go Phils tonight, though. Go Phils. Sad. think she was in the same boat. Go Phils tonight, though.
Go Phils.
Yeah.
Go Phils.
Yeah.
Fight.
Go Phils.
No one in the world can root for the Astros unless you're an actual Astros fan.
There's no...
You can't do it.
I'm not rooting for Rome.
Why?
Why?
Because you don't think you can do it.
You're a salty bitch.
I like it.
I like it.
Throwing salt in the game.
I like it.
There was, on Saturday night, I was in Philly
and went out to watch the game.
I remember we were talking about guys who wear, like,
the full baseball uniforms to the game kind of thing.
Oh, yeah.
I know it was Halloween, but there was two guys
right in front of me wearing full, like,
full baseball Phillies uniforms with, the cleats and the one guy had
like catcher's knee pads and like they had the full outfit and I was like we're
gonna lose like I just felt I was like cuz this guy wearing I just felt I don't
know why but it really bugged me I should know you should have stripped
them in the street odd about it I see I see I see a trend the Harley Quinn's
piss you off you're becoming a hater.
I am.
Like me and the rest of the guys.
You are.
I know.
You're never a hater.
This is life.
It's not going to be enjoyable.
Because normally I'm not.
Normally I'm very.
You're a catchphrase for life.
I'm not, but I, yeah.
Other than that, though, it was a great.
What's wrong with the Harley Quinns?
I don't, I just feel like it's a specific person.
Oh, yeah.
You'll notice you'll get irrational that you'll just be so angry at
things that don't affect constant yeah it doesn't and you'll turn to god like me every time i see i
see like some people on my instagram dressing up like that and i for some reason i'm sure they love
him just like oh my god i just like erica harley quinn was she this year Was she? This year.
Cleats look sick.
I might start wearing them, which is my regular.
They sound sick.
On a floor like this, walking in with some cleats.
You've got some really, really awesome cleats out there.
That could be like acrylics.
We wear nails.
It's impractical.
It's noisy.
Cleats are practical as fuck.
They are.
It depends.
You guys want to cleat up one week?
I think I have some.
I haven't laced up some cleats in a while.
We should put cleats on the wheel.
You got to wear them every week.
Oh, day.
Cleat week.
Cleat week.
Oh, you have to wear cleats for an entire week?
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
Oh, fuck.
Put it on, yeah.
Whatever.
You could probably buy fly.
I mean.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, they have to be metal spikes.
The metal ones that sound loud as shit.
Well, like crampons. Maybe two, maybe metal and regular cleats. Getting stuck in a subway Oh, yeah. Oh, they have to be metal spikes. The metal ones that sound loud as shit. Well, like, crampons.
Maybe two, maybe metal and regular cleats.
Getting stuck in a subway grate, dude.
Oh, yeah.
You guys remember, I don't know if you guys would ever remember this, but there's that
one scene in SpongeBob where he's wearing the cleats, and he gets up on Patrick's head
for something, and the cleats are just digging into his eyes.
I don't know why that has such a vivid memory for me.
I don't remember that at all.
You can't ask about a specific thing that happened in an episode of a TV show.
I would.
Maybe Seinfeld.
Something like that.
I feel like you remember when Doug on Doug's birthday his dad got him.
It was very obviously a football, and Doug was disappointed.
And he pretended to enjoy it,
and his dad was having the time of his life passing with him.
Yes!
That was a great episode.
Yeah, man.
What show?
Doug.
Oh.
Remember when Doug got the zit on his nose?
Yeah.
That ordered the pizza.
Yeah.
Or when he got those big-ass shoes.
Yeah, cleats could be dope.
They make Jordan cleats.
Yeah, they have Jordan 1 cleats.
Those have to be the best.
Lacrosse cleats are pretty fly.
What are the flyest cleats?
Can we pull up some?
Problem with Jordan 1 cleats, if you get injured in them,
everyone's going to be like, why were you wearing those?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
You can't.
Football players wear the Jordan 1 cleats.
They look very cool, but if they do get injured,
that's a you're a clown move.
Yeah.
But what's the alternative, though?
Just like some high strapped up cleats?
Ew.
Oh.
Those are hilarious.
Those are nice Jordan 1s.
They're awesome.
Those are pretty cool.
What sport wears metal cleats still?
That's so wrong.
Baseball.
No, is it outlawed in baseball? Yeah, are you allowed to wear metal cleats anymore? Baseball. Is it outlawed in baseball?
Are you allowed to wear metal cleats anymore?
I think in football, too.
I know you're at a hard-o softball tournament when you hear...
Yeah, the click-clack.
Soccer wears metal.
Soccer.
We were talking about sports, not soccer.
Philly won last night in soccer, too.
The Union.
Yeah, going to the finals.
Yep.
Oh, would you look at that?
I haven't missed a game this season.
I have a future on them.
Cash out.
Nah.
Don't.
I watched every game of the MLS this year.
No fucking hedge.
No hedge.
We love the Union.
I love that the MLS finishes their season right in the middle of the best sports time.
It's like, oh, okay.
That happened?
Trying to grow, too.
Yeah.
They should play their championship game Wednesday afternoon.
People would actually watch that.
It should end in the summer.
Yeah.
It doesn't make any sense.
Nothing ends in the summer.
I guess maybe basketball at the beginning?
Basketball and hockey both end in the summer.
That's probably late.
I mean, how many
finals games go after June 20th?
Now you're being very literal.
He got you.
He won.
He was very literal about it.
I think the finals often goes
I said what percentage?
I was just asking a question.
And you couldn't answer.
I'll lay down my I don't want to asking a question. And you couldn't answer. No. Root for the Eagles tonight, and I'll lay down my sword.
I mean, the Phillies tonight.
No, no, no.
I don't want to buy your loyalty.
I thought I should have.
Lay down my sword.
I'm just saying I'll lay down my sword.
I'm not saying I'll believe something I don't believe.
No.
I know I have half a friend here and half a friend here.
It's one full friend.
And TJ is considering it.
I think Nick said that you were going to end up in a wheelchair.
Right.
He said there was a 3% chance.
Oh, okay.
That he'd be forever bound.
Listen, I don't want to get dark here, but if you were paraplegic, this show would be cooler.
Talking through a...
Yeah, right.
Why?
Yeah.
Stephen Hawking's voice.
Fuck.
Why are you?
Why?
Fuck Ole Miss. Steven Hawkins voice why are you why fuck old miss it would be cool
like the last thing
you ever did
as like a able bodied man
was
yeah I'm a basketball
yeah
in front of your family
in a stadium
it would be not cool
the last thing you ever did
as an able bodied man
is not be able
to dunk a basketball
the voice would just
turn into like
your character
in the house of stools
oh yeah
huh why why of basketball. The voice would just turn into your character in the House of Stools. Oh, yeah.
Why?
Why?
Should we spin the wheel?
Ben Mintz is a pussy.
Ben Mintz double D's.
That bitch. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
How can you do every impression?
I don't know.
Do we have Cleet Week on there?
Yeah. Cleet Week on there? Yeah.
Cleet Week?
Oh, no.
Yes.
Stinky Cloud?
Ew!
Oh!
Yay!
Okay.
That's a long time.
I'm going to try to make a Stinky Cloud.
So I think it's one person that's going to have to walk through all of them?
I think we're going to get one of those self-tanning booths that you have in your place.
And that person has to go in and everybody brings something stinky to put in there.
Yeah.
So we have to spin to see who has to get the stinky cloud done to them.
And we're going to have stinky cloud day.
Eliminator?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, maybe we do it on a Henny Friday.
Stinky cloud on a Henny Friday?
Wow.
Oh, this is going to be great.
All right, so I've got to find, I'll buy, on Amazon, I'll buy the pop-up thing.
The pop-up tanner booth.
Or like a pop-up port-a-potty, whatever's the cheapest.
They're all about the same.
We want it to really hold in the stinky cloud.
I don't want any of it.
Wait, did you guys see the video, Jerry's Fragrance, episode three, I think it was,
where he sprayed the fucking, the fragrance into the air like 30 times, 35 times.
No.
It's a little strong.
I know, I didn't.
Can you pull that shit off, dude?
I tweeted it this weekend.
It was so funny.
But he basically made a stinky cloud.
He was doing a fragrance test.
We'll all bring something.
What are you guys going to bring in?
Some Paco Rabanne, one million?
Oh, that's good, though.
Yeah.
What are the undertones of that?
It's like floral.
That's a bit strong for my liking.
Very strong. very strong I was squealing laughing
I'm like so funny
the whole video is so good
that's so funny
cause in his other videos he doesn't spray
that much he's like I have to be honest
with this brand like I might have to slander
them
what a psycho, dude.
His videos are so good.
So good.
I found a
tent.
A one-person tent
that you bring to a soccer game.
Will it keep the smell in those?
If it's ventilated...
We have to tape off the ventilation.
We can clear tape it off so it's completely airtight.
Airtight, is that me?
Okay.
I'm buying it right now.
And now we've got to decide who's going to be in the stinky cloud.
And how long do they have to stay in there?
I think the whole show.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
I think we just keep adding things.
Oh, man. Yeah, maybe they stay in the whole show and there's God. Oh, no. I think we just keep adding things. Oh, man.
Yeah, maybe they stay in the whole show and there's a wheel of all of our stinky things we add it with.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's a base level of stinky.
You can have maybe a dead fish that starts.
Oh, something dead would be terrible.
Oh, this is going to be great.
Henny Fridays go on for a long time.
I feel like throwing up, they should be able to throw up.
You should leave.
Or maybe there's a snorkel on the inside
that goes to fresh air.
No, what we're going to do is
we'll put it in here.
You can see fresh air.
We'll put it in here
and if we put a hole in the tent,
we can put the microphone in there.
Yeah.
But then it'll stink for us.
You can tape.
We'll tape around it.
Yeah, we'll tape it up.
It's going to work.
It's still going to smell.
It's going to work.
Not as bad as in the tent.
It's going to work.
Think. It's going to work well. I think it in the tent. It's going to work. Think.
It's going to work well.
I think it should be in the lobby.
Nah, that'll stink up the whole lobby.
What the fuck, Dan?
I might look for roadkill.
Can we use the booth?
I might poop in a cup.
Let's do the booth.
Let's just put it up to a vote.
This is a democracy.
I don't want to be a dictator here.
What if I just pooped in a cup?
Fucking Michael Irvin.
That's cool.
That is cool.
We're going to go hug him.
All right, man.
He liked you.
He did.
This one might be awful.
The person in the tent.
There's so many stinky things.
I just ordered the tent.
All right.
First eliminated.
Damn it.
This is right. This is just... it. No, this is right.
This is just...
Fuck.
You want it in it?
Yeah.
Really?
Whoa, kid.
You want it in that
stinky tent?
You got a stinky fetish.
I think we all agree
that Brandon is the
funniest outcome here.
It's...
I will be him.
Oh.
Damn it.
Fuck.
I tried to...
Real nose.
I got a deviated septum, so I feel like that's almost a PED.
All right, now I'm rooting for Che.
What do we got?
What do we got?
Actually, not bad.
Yeah.
Oh, I thought that was Zah.
Let's go.
That bodes poorly for Zah.
Yeah, it does.
I think I'm good. Nope.
Oh, fuck.
I know he came out with a Michael
Irvin interview. Yeah, I was way
off on that one.
Oops.
Cloud.
Cloud.
Oh.
This is not that bad.
Oh, it's going to be bad.
I might legit poop in a cup.
Put it in there.
Yeah.
I think we should also link a blow dryer into it so it's nice and hot.
Oh, yeah.
Kate, I agree.
Let's do it.
That's how clouds are formed when heat rises, so I think you have to make it a cloud.
Kay would be hilarious in this.
Jay would be incredible.
Yes.
Motherfucker.
Aha.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right, booth.
There we go.
Wow.
A whole booth wheel.
Wow.
A booth stink wheel.
It should just be in there.
It should.
We should just put it in there.
That's a stinky ass pallet too.
It is.
Yes. Yes. TJ. That is. Yes.
TJ.
Poor TJ.
Wow.
Best of one?
I'm happy for you, TJ.
No.
Best of seven.
You want it to land on your name.
Yes.
First of four doesn't have to do it.
TJ, I'm rooting for you.
I really want it to be Che.
I want it to be Che to meet Che Che probably wants it
He sniffs homeless people
Just say Che has to do it
Who's gonna run the board
We should just all bring in our shit
We should have Jerry bring in his shorts
Okay there's TJ
He washed them he wears them
Really
He wore them like three days later
I don't know why I expect him to just have not washed those
Still hanging out in the house.
On a hanger.
I gotta clean these.
We can get him to poop in some more shorts.
Is that two for TJ?
One for Che?
Wait, it's whoever gets the most?
Yeah, it doesn't have to do it.
It doesn't have to do it.
Fuck.
I hate two-two.
There's never been a more lopsided who I'm rooting for.
Yeah.
God damn it.
I might just put a lit cigarette in there.
Something makes your clothes smell, you know?
Oh my God.
Might start a fire.
A hair fire.
Go, go, go, go.
Oh, burnt hair.
Fuck.
3-2.
Damn it.
Good B, Che.
Stinky tofu. Yeah, there's a lot. Good B, Che. Stinky tofu.
Yeah, there's a lot.
There's cheeses.
There's a lot of things that stink.
All right.
Die, die, die.
Please.
The wheel is just.
This guy keeps catching dubs.
He tried to dap up JPP.
Oh, I can dig in my cat's litter box.
Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop in my cat's litter box. Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
I'm going to make that so fucking stinky.
Yeah.
This is our real chance to test Stephen Che's resolve.
His unflappable resolve.
This is something
that he'll have to
withstand for an
extended period of time.
We can make it as hard
as possible.
You can't find a silver
lining in Stink.
Stink.
No.
Stink, stink.
I was thinking about
that fish that Vibs has
in the yellow can.
The durian.
Oh, that's the fruit.
Might have to go to Vibs.
That ruined the whole
office.
I think he said,
I don't think we can do that.
I think Dave said no more of that. What? That fish. Oh. Might have to go to Vibs. That ruined the whole office. I think he said, I don't think we can do that. I think Dave said no more of that.
What?
That fish.
Oh.
It happened again.
He did it again.
He did it down in the...
Sassy, Dave's not here.
Yeah, that's true.
Let the boys play.
We can do whatever we want.
I might do one of those stink bombs that start to get bigger.
Owen accidentally set one off in the office.
Oh, yeah, yeah. It was for the dramatics of it. Oh, yeah. And he had to put it in his pocket because he didn't like start to get bigger. Owen accidentally set one off in the office. Oh yeah. It pops. Yeah, yeah.
It's for like the dramatics of it.
Oh yeah.
And he had to put it in his pocket because he didn't want anyone to run out.
And he had to run outside.
And we'll just keep adding stuff.
Oh, this is such a win for the wheel.
Yeah, this is great.
Unbelievable.
When are we going to do it?
Because I want time to like think of what I'm like.
Oh yeah, we're going to have to.
Well, I got to get my, we got to get the tent.
I think we'll do, well next Friday's.
Right.
So maybe let's say the 18th.
Okay.
That probably works.
Okay.
November 18th, Friday.
Stink cloud Friday.
And we'll get drunk, because then if we get drunk and we're having fun, we'll forget to
end the show.
Yeah.
He might die in there.
Yeah, because he should still be drinking.
And if he pukes, I think you stay in if you puke.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's part of the stink.
I might puke in there. That'd be good.
You should eat something stinky. What if I did
the gallon challenge right before?
Oh.
Oh my god.
We start the show and I'm just sitting
in the tent doing the gallon challenge.
You should have some sort of tube
hooked up into here that we can just put it in.
Yeah.
We gotta make it like a doggy door where they can't go the other way though
because the stink will just leak into here.
We can, we'll, I think the thing's going to arrive on Wednesday so we can play around
with it if we have to buy something different.
Maybe if we have any engineers, yak engineers out there that have ideas how to create this.
A one-way stink tube.
Right.
Yeah.
A one-way stink tube and like just a big phone booth of stink.
I might get my hair cut so I can burn my hair in there.
Yeah, I was thinking about that.
One time I vacuumed a belt, and it was the most nasty-smelling thing I've ever had.
I might vacuum up a belt.
Oh, yeah, that sounds like something I would stink.
I vacuumed a belt, and it was so gross.
Now that odor of the vacuum burn is coming in my nose.
And it's so nasty. And I've smelled the vacuum burn, coming in my nose. And it's so nasty.
And I've smelled the vacuum burn, but never as bad as when I vacuumed a belt.
He's going to throw up.
God willing.
Oh, man, I'm excited.
I'm going to throw some carbon monoxide in there.
He already ruined it.
He already ruined it.
What did he say?
He just wrote, I'm down.
I know.
It's going to be way worse.
I have to punish him.
And without, I mean, it's like the perfect type of
Psychological warfare because
There's nothing physical to it
So it's never like we're true bullying
We could put Agent Orange in there
Put some nerve gas in there
Oh we should put some nerve gas in there
Because that wasn't even bullying when they
Were using nerve gas
Agent Orange would probably be a bad look.
Oh, yeah.
Didn't they use it in World War II first, though?
I don't know.
Where they just jumped to the...
Agent Orange is...
White dudes at Barstool Sports put Asian into the stink chamber
and fill it with Agent Orange.
Depends on what picture he uses of himself.
Yeah.
Steven Che from his
Not an old one.
Yeah, old one.
Pick up an old one
back when he was Asian.
Former Asian employee.
Did he get fired?
No.
No, no, no.
Former Asian
former employee.
All right.
Well.
That was really exciting.
Very exciting. Very exciting.
Great day.
If you were stuck in this cloud and you were given like a can of body spray, would you
use that to your advantage?
No.
I think that might make it worse.
Yeah.
I don't think so.
Should I go to the Army Navy store and get him a gas mask and see if it'll-
Oh, no, no, no.
See a little charcoal can?
Oh, no.
We shouldn't be making this easier on him.
True.
I'm trying to psychologically hurt this man.
We should also fill, one of us should maybe,
if we strategically do it,
one of us should fill it with weed smoke.
So high.
High too.
I got you guys.
The sensations will all be heightened.
Maybe he can spin a wheel for one of those cans of fresh air,
but there's a chance he has to add one more stinky thing.
It's a can of fart?
Yeah, a can of Kyle's fart.
Oh, man.
Okay, great show because we got Brandon's going to kill himself
and we're going to kill Steven.
Two deaths coming up.
I'm right here.
You guys are all wrong.
All right.
Well, guess what?
The best part about it is we'll find out.
You should all believe in yourself more.
We'll find out.
I believe in myself.
I don't believe in you.
None of you will do this.
I'm the only one that will do it.
Yeah.
I believe in my-
The conversation starts.
You won't even jump off a trampoline?
I believe in my ability to not be able to do this.
You're 21 years old.
Brandon, but I've never been like, have I ever claimed to be athletic?
You're the one that's going around being like, oh, I can dunk on that.
This isn't an athletic thing. It is. We can dunk on that. This isn't an athletic thing.
It is.
We already went over that.
It is a very athletic thing.
What do you think?
To an extent, I think it's about how you've got to just be confident enough
to get enough bounce.
It's a trampoline.
If you get enough bounce, you're in.
Correct.
But you'll be afraid to get enough bounce because you'll think you'll go too far,
hurt your head or something.
No.
No.
Full send.
All right.
All right.
Full send.
Okay.
See everyone tomorrow.
I can't wait to stick it to you, Cloud J.
This will be great.
Happy Halloween to everyone who celebrates.
Yeah.
Yeah. Happy Halloween.