The Yak - Brandon Recovers from ANOTHER Championship Loss in The Dozen | The Yak 6-9-23
Episode Date: June 9, 2023Get this man a towelYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up.
Okay.
The Yak, Friday.
The day after.
I think this was a practical joke.
I think this was all set up that if I lost,
everybody was going to leave town and I would be stuck. Not stuck doing the act with
Stephen Che and Chief.
Kind of stuck. I mean, Big Cat left.
Roan left. That was
planned. Would you rather have them here to just roast
you the whole time? I was going to
be nice.
Either way, man. Either way.
It doesn't matter.
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Steven, you didn't print out a prep sheet.
I'm not connected to the printer here.
I sent it to unnamed sources.
Daniel Conrad.
I didn't say that.
But the printer here is out of ink, apparently.
That's Pete's fault.
White Sox Dave is going to be on the show,
but he is cooking our Omaha steaks right now.
He is cooking our steaks, and he did a great job of getting started
doing that four minutes before the show started.
So instead of beginning the show by presenting us with Omaha steaks
and then sitting and talking to us,
he is now really getting started with the Omaha steaks.
How much time did you tell him beforehand? with the Omaha Stakes and then sitting and talking to us, he is now really getting started with the Omaha Stakes.
How much time did you tell him beforehand?
Three days.
Oh.
Yeah, yesterday.
Many, many days. So when you arrived and saw the stakes thawing in the sink.
I was concerned.
Yeah.
Concerned.
And then I heard the water running.
And I said, Dave, why is the water running?
And this was 10 minutes ago.
That's a little trick.
Yeah.
It's a trick. But that was 10 minutes ago. Right. why is the water running and this was 10 minutes ago that's a little trick yeah it's a trick but that was 10 minutes ago right why you why why is the water running well uh i'm thawing everything out okay that seems like it could have been done already but whatever
welcome to the white socks dave experience i don't i don't want it okay so you seem to think
that when we move out here yeah me and white socks dave will get along i think it's a one or
two extremes we'll either get along we'll hate each other well here's how here's how that's
gonna go i don't see you guys doing a ton of like shows together right so you don't have to worry
about like the professional side of it where you might want to blow your brains out sure but you
guys love throwing the ball around i love throwing the ball around so do i you know who else loves
that is white socks dave shay's a ball thrower ball thrower oh yeah so we'll just have like a square out in the park
or big balls oh yeah okay yeah yeah dave and i like he would just call me up sometimes this
summer to be like hey it's a beautiful day let's go throw a ball yeah like let's go you have a
minute let's go play catch and we'll just go to a park and play catch thank you very much you guys
will get along uh on that front for sure if you. If all you guys have to do is throw a ball, you'll be great.
If you have to rely on him to, you know, thaw steaks out with 72-hour notice.
What's he looking in the closet?
Hey, come here.
Come here.
You're cooking steaks.
Why are you looking in the closet?
I'm looking for another pan so I can expedite this process.
Why didn't you expedite it earlier? I didn't know the other pan was gonna up and walk away i'll be right the pan walked away that's the only explanation i got okay all
right so jerry jerry also is supposed to be here but he's he's stuck in traffic not a good start
for our chicago move not not a good start so when d Dave came in at 10.45 today, he seemed perturbed that nobody had thawed the steaks that he would be cooking today.
He needs a sous chef.
He needs a sous chef for his whole life.
You set it up for Dave and he'll knock it down.
A sous chef for life.
Yeah, that's what he needs.
Just does everything.
Yeah, all the prep work.
So then he can just show up.
If you're going to propose to your girl, the sous chef goes and buys the ring oh yeah dave dave's like reservation
so we bumped into this kid uh he was he was outside he went to the dozen last night he goes
do you remember me and i was like trying to place him we did a video when we were in the old shitty
office yeah where we in 2019 because dave had a dave had a particularly rough 2019 if you recall
where we were going to hire an intern to just be his thinker like you're going to do all of dave had a dave had a particularly rough 2019 if you recall where we were going to
hire an intern to just be his thinker like you're going to do all of dave's thinking okay so then we
interviewed people and then so really a coach sets a game plan and dave executes the place yes
but if it's like if he has to do any sort of problem solving planning creative thinking
that would go to this person so dave tried to just hire a hot girl, and I was like, no, no, no.
That's not what we're doing.
So you needed an assistant to hire the assistant?
I had to do the hiring because Dave couldn't –
because I had resigned from my position of being Dave's thinker.
All right, so we might as well talk about it.
You might need a thinker too after last night.
The prep sheets are here.
First topic, Brandon Walker choked.
Well, I think we should talk about somebody's defeat last night,
somebody's embarrassing defeat.
You guys lost a minute hand.
Yeah, we got boat raced.
Got boat raced.
Didn't even show up.
Yes.
We're down 35-3 after the first quarter.
Yeah.
Y'all couldn't have put up a fight?
I think it was.
Taking some sting out of him?
I think it was poor strategy on our part.
They went first, MLB first mlb first category passed
that was a stupid move we should have i was looking for the audience there's one guy having
the audience who i thought knew it but he didn't give me the most confident like i know it so if
we burn a lifeline there we're fucked i think big cat arone knew one of the two you said it was an
easy question i have no concept of mlb plus questions we should have just called
clamor at that point it would have sucked to use a phone a friend the first round we also didn't
really take into account we get an extra lifeline for live shows yeah that was a mistake and then
they were just perfect they didn't miss a question and they stole two of ours and the one guy in the
audience three questions encyclopedia yeah it might be better than kirk yeah so we might have
to do like a head-to-head showdown with Kirk versus that guy.
Kirk was fine last night.
It was not his best game.
Where did Bosco come from?
Kirk did not have the strongest championship match.
But where did Bosco come from?
He's not smart.
He was unbelievable.
Is he just like a big game guy?
I don't think so.
When the pressure's on?
No.
That's what he's known for, right?
When the pressure's on, he's usually the worst person in the company.
Yes. He can't handle pressure. Actually. Last night, he's known for, right? When the pressure's on, he's usually the worst person in the company. Yes.
He can't handle pressure.
Actually.
Last night, he's out there on the mound in the seventh game of the World Series throwing 90.
Actually, let me defend Rico Bosco.
No, I don't want you to.
When the pressure's on, let's think about that.
Pressure's on Rico Bosco.
Quits.
Technically, yes.
Half-court shot.
Half-court shot.
Barcelona Invitational.
Yeah, he missed five in a row.
Did he airball the first two?
Yes.
He didn't get past the free throw line.
But he made it.
He was the first one to make it.
We all had our cracks.
If you take it nine times, you're going to hit it eventually.
True.
I mean, he was the first one to hit it.
Also, Black Friday or Cyber Monday Telethon.
He got a soccer ball past Jeff Nadeau.
That's what you're going with?
I mean, there was all there was
all the pressure so he kicked it past the potato and then he walked and he walked off he quit the
show early and then quit right for the company yeah so i don't know literally a walk off yeah
a walk off his third walk off yeah in the past uh calendar year last night though he was
the crowd did say durham the crowd said durham oh i was going to take, though. He was, but the crowd did say Durham. The crowd said Durham.
Which I was going to take advantage of.
Yeah.
Wait, you had that answer?
Yeah, because the crowd said it.
The crowd said it.
Because PFT and Fran said they did not hear anything from the crowd and that they did not have Durham.
It was in the middle to the left side.
And it was two guys.
And it was two assholes.
And they were shouting nonsense all night.
But one of them yelled it slow, one of them yelled it quickly.
Durham.
One went Durham, like that.
But whatever.
Yeah.
I mean, he took that answer and won, and I was going to take that answer too.
So I can't say anything.
Whatever.
Yeah.
We're right there.
Great audience overall.
We're right there.
Good show for Chicago.
Good crowd.
Yeah.
Loud.
Great crowd. Yeah. We're right there. Great audience overall. We're right there. Good show for Chicago. Good crowd. Yeah. Loud. Great crowd.
Yeah.
Loud.
Only one guy tried to fight me and we had to get security on him.
Really?
Yeah, the guy in the front with the face mask, with the paint.
The paint?
Yeah.
The ultimate warrior of paint?
Yeah.
He told me.
We were going back and forth in the first game.
I called him fat.
And he didn't like that.
And he grabbed me, shook his hand, and he grabbed me by the wrist.
And he's like, you think you're bad on stage.
Why don't we go outside?
And I'm like, oh, shit.
All right.
Well, just relax, fella.
This is what we do.
And then he had another friend with him that was trying to calm him down,
but he wanted to fight.
So when I –
I may know that guy.
You mentioned that to me, like, backstage.
He had crazy eyes.
And I was like, which guy?
And you're like – you should have just said the guy with his face painted.
Yeah.
There was only one.
You didn't tell me that.
The guy with his face painted?
Yeah.
Kind of.
He might have been going for that, but it was really just –
because it wasn't Ultimate Warrior because it was full face.
It wasn't just the mask.
It was full.
Did he have a white hat?
Well, it was a Barstool crowd.
They were all white.
White hat though?
I don't know what his hat was. He was wearing a hat. He was wearing a hat though i don't know what he was wearing a hat he was wearing a hat i think it was a trusted data hat i think that's a guy i know oh no i trust the data guys tried to fight me i think
so he's a he's clem's friend too clem and robbie no he had the clem for mvp he had the clem mvp
shirt on i don't know what he's wearing you just said you knew his hat his hat i don't know what
dude you're asking me what shirt a dude wore yesterday than a hat he's wearing my hat or
shirt i don't know probably he's friends with clem why are we arguing about this shout out to
sam the guy with the face paint sure yep shout out to him it smells delicious in here i'm not
gonna lie dave actually can cook yeah he can cook a little
bit really yeah he can is he one of those guys that you look at and he's ugly and he's stumpy
and he's a little stupid yes yes and you realize he probably doesn't have much to give to the world
but then you start peeling back the layers and you say okay well for an ugly stumpy idiot yeah
does have he's endearing he's endearing you would you are gonna grow to like dave i think i hope not
yeah i like dave's good people but yeah like he's i'm you know i'm anxious to see the crossover
between jerry and dave because i think jerry and dave are very similar people that's i i think he
would take he he would take uh umbridge with that i don't care what he would take i'm just
i'm telling you we need to see them on opposite sides of a bet on a Sunday.
Yeah.
Because Jerry, with his bets, is a maniac.
Right.
Correct.
I don't think anybody's standing up to Jerry with his bets.
I think Dave would.
So we had the first time we met Jerry, actually.
It was Bears-Steelers.
We all drove out to Pittsburgh.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot y'all had that beef on Twitter.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was one day. One bad day. About bad day uh about pop shot basketball of all things but uh but jerry was
delightful that day but dave you know we were in with the pen high rollers we had there was a
particular guy in there who i think he had you know a quarter of a million dollars on on a bet
responsibly and dave might have had like 30
bucks and was rooting for the bears and then dave was just like clapping it up in this guy's face
and he was they ended up going to the casino together later that night so they became friends
but like in the moment we're like dave like this that seems like to be the white socks day of arc
he pisses you off and then you yeahudgingly become friends? Yeah, I think that's typically how it goes.
Yeah.
Once you get to know him.
But he does, like, he can play guitar.
He taught himself how to play guitar.
Are you trying to get him a date?
Oddly good at chess.
Are you trying to wingman for him?
Is he oddly good?
So I'm playing him in chess in an hour.
Like, he's better than you would expect.
Like, he knows some moves.
I expect zero.
Right.
He's definitely better than zero.
All right. And, like, I don't think it's – I've never seen you would expect. Like, he knows some moves. I expect zero. Right. He's definitely better than zero. All right.
And, like, I don't think it's – I've never seen you play chess.
How boring would it be if you and White Sox Day played chess on the act?
Super boring?
We're doing it for a White Sox Day challenge.
Oh, you are?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, we're going to have to have the clock, and they keep panning out to him.
He's talking about probably his, like, buttering technique for these stakes.
He's got the towel over the shoulder.
Yeah.
This fucking guy. What's he doing? He's not doing anything holding court yeah he's letting them based you
can't speed up a steak oh now he's trapping the steam in yeah he knows what he's doing that's a
sick jordan he does look like also yeah we're bringing that the the shirt he's wearing makes
it seem like he knows what he's doing he He's got that vintage three-quarters tee.
He's got a softball tee on.
Yeah, that's fair.
Dude, 18-inch or 16-inch softball?
16.
Holy shit.
They don't use a glove.
Yeah.
Those are enormous grapefruits.
You got big hands, though, I feel like, Che.
Do you have big hands?
I got a palm of a ball.
Yeah.
I feel like you'll take the 16-inch.
You will probably break a finger.
I don't think you can palm a basketball. Okay i feel like you'll take to 16 inch you will probably break a finger i don't
think you can palm a basketball okay steph stephan that that's uh that's a smaller flat
it's it's a smaller ball throw me that ball you're gonna palm a 28 and a half come on i mean that's
that's too small that's a pat bev size ball yeah this is a youth ball yeah all right well you can
still palm it just to make yourself we do have another one out there somewhere.
It's a Mountain Dew ball.
There's a Mountain Dew ball if we can get somebody that's underneath the pop-a-shot.
All right.
That looks flat, though.
It might be.
It's been there a while.
You'll have a lot of activities in here.
We don't have activities in the new office.
Well, we actually have a ton in our current office,
but they've just been removed strategically.
Yeah, so we have –
Can you just examine exactly what you just said? We have a ton, but they've just been removed strategically. Yeah, so we have – Can you just examine exactly what you just said?
We have a ton.
And they've been out.
We have a ton, but –
They've been removed strategically.
They've been removed.
We had Papa Shot.
We had the Light Boxer.
And y'all took them all out.
We have the Golden Tee.
You're talking like I took them out.
What is the strategic –
It's not super flat.
Strategically, why did we take them out?
So then they're no longer there.
So you don't have them.
I don't know that you're palming me.
Jerry!
Traffic, huh?
It's rough. I'm not fucked.
I'm not fucked.
You live so much further.
Yeah, but I know that it's going to be traffic.
I know that it's going to be traffic.
You're a dead man.
Your highway's worse than his.
Really?
Yeah.
Mine goes straight up. Yours goes out a little bit. So you don't have to go to my highway to get to the office? Nope. He's going to be traffic. You're a dead man. Your highway's worse than his. Really? Yeah. Mine goes straight up.
Yours goes out a little bit.
So you don't have to go to my highway to get to the office.
No, he's going to come right down the coast.
They're working on yours.
They're not working on mine.
If you guys leave at the same time.
I might beat you.
He'll probably beat you.
What?
Yeah.
Depending on the time of day.
Depending on the time of day.
So you don't have to go through my highway to get to the office.
I'm almost certain I don't.
Wow.
Yeah, you don't.
I basically just go right up Lake Michigan and take a left up at wisconsin you'll take 41 the whole way i left
at 10 42 you left at 10 42 it's 12 15 yep that's about right you should explore the metro get to
know the metro it's good at 9 45 and got here at 11 0 5 yeah i'm i think i'm out on driving in
every day i'm out i think i'm out it's gonna. Every day? I think I'm out.
It's going to be that way for like three years. You're having second thoughts.
No, I'm good.
I'm going to drive.
Yesterday you were saying you're having second thoughts.
Well, I was having second thoughts about everything.
That construction is only supposed to last for three years.
So you're only fine.
Biggest purchase of my life.
And I realize I'm making it next week.
And I'm like, oh, God.
I'm getting that kind of second thoughts.
You know what I'm saying?
So I'm just trying to figure out
do I want to go through with it?
I am going through with it. You've gone through with it.
Yeah, I'm right there. I'm at the one yard line.
All I got to do is kick the extra point out.
Otherwise, how's it going?
It's going good. It's going good.
It's going really good.
I like the city. I do.
I think traffic
where I just was was worse than New York.
But people are a lot nicer here.
People are a lot nicer.
We're nice boys.
I went to the, there's a little diner, Swedish diner or something.
Ann Sathers?
Yeah.
I went over there, right?
I had breakfast.
I left my credit card.
And I just walked down here.
And the waiter came, walked all the way down here.
I told him I was working in Barcelona.
Came all the way down here, brought my card back.
Brandon, welcome to the Midwest, my friend.
If that happened in New York, my entire portfolio would be cleaned up.
I'd be done.
I'd be broke.
I'd be a broken man.
Well, so you made a good move then.
Step over that goal line.
I'm excited to come out here, but it's daunting.
You seem like you're in a remarkably good mood for how much traffic you just sat in.
I like the area I'm in.
I love it.
I love it.
Restaurants are great.
You and Che are in the same area, right?
We are, yeah.
Bears are coming.
Two miles apart, or less than that.
Could be a big investment, you know?
Yeah.
Flip the house in five, ten years.
Because the Bears are going to be there.
Airbnb it eight, nine times a year.
Yeah.
That's it.
I don't think the Bears are ever coming out to where I live.
No. Actual Bears might be out there. No. What town are you in again? Or do you not want to say it? I nine times a year. Yeah. That's it. I don't think the bears are ever coming out to where I live. No.
Actual bears might be out there.
What town are you in again?
Or do you not want to say it?
I'm not going to say it.
But I'm up basically on the Wisconsin one.
Okay.
All right.
People can figure it out.
I'm past Gurney.
How do you say that?
Yeah.
I'm past Gurney.
Past Gurney.
Okay.
It's up by six flags.
Yeah.
Bring the kids there.
That'll be fun.
They got an outdoor water park and a Great Wolf Lodge.
Well, you don't really need a water park. You have
a backyard. Well, I have a lake, yeah.
But you still need a water slide.
Water slide is... Put one in your backyard.
Put one in the dock. Yeah.
Nah.
I'm talking about a water slide, water slide.
You know, three stories.
You got enough money to build one. Yeah, that's what I'm
going to do. I'm going to build a three-story. I'm going to build it
from my rooftop to the lake. That's a great idea. That kind of is a good idea just like the richie rich house yeah
yeah brandon there's no way to ask this without it being incredibly rude
but are you too fat for a big water slide
so if you knew that it was going to be incredibly rude yeah maybe the other option was just not ask
it uh i mean once you're talking about water slides and it's going to be like your house i
went to great wolf lodge last year when i was fat and it's fine water slides are built for i mean
you ever been to a water park that's true there's people a lot fatter than me at Waterpark. That's true.
That's true.
Fair point.
Confirmed.
All right, point Brandon.
Waterparks.
Underrated?
When's the last time you went to Waterpark
and were like,
I don't like this?
Sesame Place.
Now, it's a lot of effort
and it's a lot of,
there are a lot of people,
but if you get in a good groove,
it's an elite time.
I always felt like
they were a little dirty.
Too dirty.
Yeah, I'm with you on that. A little too dirty. I don't care. I always felt like they were a little dirty. Too dirty for me.
Yeah, I'm with you on that.
A little too dirty for me. I don't care about dirt.
They sketch me out a little bit.
For me.
You're diving in pee every time.
Have you heard of the Wisconsin Dells yet?
I've heard of it.
I'm not really aware.
If you're a water park guy.
They're all up there?
They probably have a dozen of them.
Okay, well.
It's a chain?
Wisconsin Dells?
Wisconsin Dells is a town.
Every hotel is a giant water park. Wisconsin Dells is a town. Oh, they just they like every hotel is like a giant water.
How far away is it from from you?
Fifteen minutes.
Yeah.
No, it's probably from here.
It's probably like a two, three hours like on your way towards Green Bay.
And you know what?
I didn't realize, too.
You know, me.
Beaches are here.
Oh, yeah.
There is so many beaches.
That's cool.
Yeah. And I'm not a beach guy, but there's a lot of beaches. We're discovering Chicago. Yeah. too you know how many beaches are here oh yeah there is so many beaches that's cool yeah and
i'm not a beach guy but there's a lot of beaches we're discovering chicago yeah i'm excited for
you guys yeah zoo and aquarium we got it all these are places cities yeah cities have these things
yeah i guess so we should i would love to take jerry through a little museum trip that would
be great i like a museum yeah i do yep you should just You should just take Jerry on an excursion once a week.
Museum, zoo, aquarium.
Just discovering Chicago.
Discovering Chicago, yeah.
I would like that.
Wait until you see the Museum of Science and Industry.
That place is fucking awesome.
Why would anybody go to the Museum of Science and Industry?
It's the best of the museums.
Science is boring.
Industry is very boring.
No, but they have, like, fucking trains.
They got all sorts of stuff. Yeah.
My son is at the Liberty Science Center today.
Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't know your whole family was out here.
No, no, no. They're not.
Liberty Science Center is in New Jersey. Oh, I see.
I'm sorry. Are there any more...
Are there any current titans of
industry? I think they're all tech people.
That sucks. I think
Ryan Tannehill.
No. that sucks i think ryan tannehill no thank you appreciate that yeah you don't think that i mean that's the yeah there's titans of
india elon musk is all that's right all tech people that's true yeah yeah yeah you want you
want like uh yeah you want a you want a cornelius vanderbilt they're tech billionaires now right
they're bill gates they're they're elon musk they're tech billionaires now. Right. They're Bill Gates. They're Elon Musk.
I mean, Musk kind of because he's got Tesla, too, and SpaceX.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Musk is absolutely one.
Yeah.
But there's no more, like, big steel guys.
That's over, right?
I think that's out.
Well, oil and gas.
There's a lot of oil and gas guys.
Oh, Saudis, right?
Yeah.
Well, and other places.
And other places, too.
All right.
Here we go.
We got burgers. We got steaks. Dave made these? Yeah. Well, and other places. And other places, too. All right, here we go. We got burgers.
We got steaks.
Dave made these?
Yeah, Dave made these.
Perfect.
Oh, we got a little smash burger looking.
I told you, and you were shooting.
Okay, hey, relax.
Relax.
What would you like, Jerry?
Steak burger?
I'll do a piece and a steak.
All right.
I want half the burger.
I'll take the other half of that burger.
Well, there's only five of us.
I guess seven of us.
Yeah, they count.
Okay, well, you definitely weren't ready at all.
That's an absurdly good-looking burger.
He did the smash burger, and he's got a nice little char on the steak.
That's 100% medium rare.
That looks fantastic.
Dave knows how to cook a steak.
He does.
Did you guys get to tune into any of the intermission show yesterday?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
There's a moment in there.
Hot mic.
Hot mic Dave.
Somebody got a hot mic?
I knew there was a fucking mic on that.
Dude, you didn't know the show had started?
Unbelievable.
Tommy Smokes retweeted that.
Do you kind of think, though, when you get caught on a hot mic,
that it's kind of on the producers that didn't shut the mic off?
I have a statement.
Do you ever think that?
What's the statement?
Oh.
Oh, Stefan has a statement.
We usually are told to wait for a video.
There's like a 20-second video that goes from the actual broadcast to us.
That video did not work, so they cut to me 20 seconds
early that's why dave that's good dave that's real good do you feel bad no because it was hilarious
but so then there's no way dave could have known no so what did why did you just say that
but not for the camera you said only for smoke for smoke. All right, here's the truth.
Dads want steak.
When you give Dad perfectly aged and oh-so-tender steaks,
you're not just giving him the best meal of his life,
but the chance to grill them up and share the moment with you.
Right now we've got some Omaha steaks going on the plate.
We have some Omaha burgers going on the plate.
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How is it, Jerry?
I'm good.
I'm going to tweet something and put my phone down.
Okay.
You can do whatever you want with it.
How would you feel if you got an Omaha Steaks package for Father's Day?
I've gotten multiple Omaha Steaks packages.
And you loved it.
I felt good every time, yes.
I just got a new grill a couple of weeks ago,
so I'm getting the hang of it.
I got a big pellet smoker.
I've got one of those.
Do you?
Which one do you have?
Traeger.
You got a Traeger?
I got a Rectec.
I haven't heard of that.
Oh, it's fantastic.
It's fantastic.
All right, Dave has joined us.
Can you grade my pan searing skills?
It's not really all about you, Dave.
It's about the steak.
No, I know that.
It's about Omaha Steaks.
That's a good thing about Omaha Steaks is, Brandon, you agree that I have little to no intelligence, right?
Correct, yes.
It's dummy proof.
Dummy proof.
Look at those burgers.
I walked in, and you're like, holy shit, that looks incredible.
And I could tell that that was as sincere as could be. First first of all i've never said anything sincere to you in my life
and never so so it's not a good burger do you think did white socks they've just checked me
at you i think i did can you play chess i can't i think i'm playing steven this afternoon steven
probably not i know how to move the pieces i don't know like strategy or anything okay so you don't
know how to play chess i know how to move the. I know how to move the pieces. You know how to move the horse two up
and one over. Yes. Okay. You're a little bit
better than that. I...
I can, like, look a little bit. I can look a little
bit and, like, oh, I'm gonna do this, but I'm not good.
He's sandbagging a little bit.
So, Sidney Wells, randomly, her family's just, like,
they love chess. Right. And her younger brother,
he's, like, 22, 23 years old. It's kind of insulting to say it's
randomly, but whatever. I mean, it's not...
It's atypical. It doesn't mean it's bad.
Okay.
Like, families don't, I would say, normally don't love playing chess together.
Go ahead.
They do.
Unless you're Tate.
I, um, her brother thought that he was going to mop the floor with me.
And he's like, not grandmaster good, but like good good.
Very smart.
He's in law school.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I took him to the edge a little bit.
And he was, like, getting frustrated that I was putting him in bad positions.
But he ended up beating me every time.
Well, knowing Stephen Che like I know him, he's not nearly as good as he thinks he is.
I've never seen him play chess, but I can tell you he's not nearly as good as he thinks he is.
Is this an Asian joke?
Huh?
No.
It's a joke about Stephen Che because he thinks he ran a 4-4 once.
He thinks all these things about his athletic prowess.
So I'm sure he thinks he's a great chess player. I bet he's not as good because he thinks he ran a 4-4 once. He thinks all these things about his athletic prowess. So I'm sure he thinks
he's a great chess player.
I bet he's not as good as he thinks he is.
Chay?
That's probably fair.
I still think I'm going to mop the floor
with Dave. We're having a sandbag.
I think I'm a good enough
chess player to dominate Dave.
What's dominate even mean in chess?
A couple moves. I think dominate means chess. I know the form of checkmate. If he tries to do that, he's not going to dominate Dave. What's dominate even mean in chess? A couple moves. I think dominate means
chess. I know the four-move checkmate.
If he tries to do that, he's not going to do it.
All he has to do is move one piece. I'm like, that's what he's
doing. I know how to combat it.
No, I'm not going to go for that.
A fairly swift victory.
It's hard to say you win by
this many pieces because it's
always different. I wish we had one of those clocks.
I've never played with one of those.
You have to do it in under 10 minutes
or something? Yeah, we have one in the office.
Logan got one, but we haven't used it yet.
It was a great show on Netflix. I think it was the Queen's Gambit.
It was very good.
Couldn't get into it. My TikTok right now
has a girl and her mom randomly
going up to Chess Hustlers in Central Park.
I've been getting that one. She's like blind or something, right?
Yeah, Central Park, just housing dudes on chess in like 30 seconds, 45 seconds.
That one older guy, he was like a grandmaster, right?
Yeah.
And he's never lost in Central Park or something,
and she just mopped the floor with him.
And he's like, all right, all right, let's do it again.
And he was like, I saw that one.
You ever been to the Central Park chess scene?
Not Central Park, but like Union Square is pretty big for that as well.
Oh, my goodness.
Time.
What is this?
We have breaking news.
What is this?
Breaking news?
We have.
Whoa.
After last night's crushing loss, Brandon Walker was spotted at dinner with Jerry,
Eddie, Big Cat, and Clem.
Overheard in conversation, the idea was floated about
BW leaving the experts and joining Team Minahan.
Walker did not shy away from the thought.
Instead, he entertained it less than
24 hours removed from the dozen trivia.
Brandon is pondering
the idea of a super team. Sources at dinner
can't confirm their story.
You heard it here first.
Who is this source?
Oh, it was you.
I feel like...
You didn't say no.
But what gives you the...
Why do you get to report this story?
He's a reporter.
I'm reporting it.
I'm the reporter.
But you invited me to dinner.
I did.
You and Big Cat.
I did.
You practically coerced me into dinner.
We begged a little bit.
You begged a little bit.
A little bit.
I had to sit.
Teslas aren't big.
What's that?
Teslas are not big.
No, no.
Me, Big Cat, and Jerry shared the same backseat of a Tesla.
Yeah.
That's a tight squeeze.
Whatever.
Everything's on the table.
Everything's on the table.
Wow.
Listen.
Listen. He's rain chasing.. Everything's on the table. Wow. Listen. Listen.
He's Ray Chasen.
You have Kevin Durant.
Please, God, have a little fucking gumption.
I'm not going to listen to the biggest cheater in the history of the show.
Shut up.
If you do that, you will ruin the show just like Durant ruined the NBA.
Kevin Durant won two rings.
He did win.
Kevin Durant won two rings.
How bad do you want to win?
Here's the deal, though.
If you do this, you are the biggest pussy. Did Kevin Durant win two rings?
That has ever walked the planet.
Is he going to go to the Hall of Fame?
Easily.
Yes, he is.
I would say that Kirk would still be the best player on the team, though.
So you would be like Chris Bosh going to the LeBron.
He would be Dwayne Wade, except it wouldn't be his team.
And I don't think he can be.
He can't be Robin.
Rico did say he's retiring too last night on stage.
So they have an open spot.
The ultimate me moment.
He's quit like five times.
Who cares?
Celebrating a team championship and just announces his retirement.
It's like a suck Dave's dick to come back.
He'll do the – whatever.
It doesn't matter.
I mean, listen.
It's an interesting thought.
Everything's on the table.
Yeah, of course.
This is the offseason.
This is the offseason.
This is one crazy thing to happen. Free agency hasn't started. Tampering hasn't table. Yeah, of course. This is the offseason. This is the offseason. This is one crazy time.
Free agency hasn't started.
Tampering hasn't started.
Have you been recruited to Team Minahan?
I haven't had conversations with anyone.
I'm an expert.
I saw you have conversations with Kirk this morning.
Not necessarily about that.
Okay, right.
You saw me have a conversation with Kirk about entirely different things.
Correct.
So we didn't have that conversation.
Okay.
Yeah.
This is like a supervillain team.
Who would be your third?
It had to be Rico, right?
No, I wouldn't play on a team with Bosco.
Why not?
Because I don't respect him as a human man.
He was pretty good last night.
He kind of won that.
Eh, the crowd gave him Durham.
The crowd said Durham, and he said Durham.
And then he acted surprised.
Oh, my God.
I got it right.
Well, the crowd told you Durham.
You sure about that?
Also, one more thing.
The clinching question was Durham, North Carolina.
He's a Duke fan.
I just, that's all.
I'm just saying.
Just an observation.
Just an observation.
That's all it is.
Did you get audio from somebody in the crowd?
Like, could you hear it?
I got multiple sources of audio.
Did you really?
Yeah, but you can't really.
He said that he was planning on using the audience
to steal it too.
I was going to steal it too.
If somebody,
if they hadn't got it,
I was going to say Durham
because the crowd's at it.
Of course.
That's a shitty part of it.
That, by the way,
that crowd last night,
fucking electrifying.
Yes.
All electrifying.
You guys have done
a lot more live shows.
We have only done one in New York, right?
Aside from the Chicago one.
Yeah.
I'm talking like out of town.
That's got to be up there for the best crowds. I'm talking like out of town. That's got to be up
there for the best crowds. I think this one was
my favorite. It was so rowdy.
It was so rowdy.
It was a good crowd. Other than the guy that wanted to fight me.
What was that about? I didn't see that.
I did not see or hear this.
He asked me to go to the parking lot so I could fight.
You have to take him.
You have to take him.
I was on stage. Afterwards. And he's like 45 with four children. I don't know if you have to take him on. I was on stage.
Afterwards.
And he's like 45 with four children.
I don't know if you have to fight somebody just because they asked you to fight.
You do.
Not a big deal.
I'm 44.
Okay.
All right.
Directly correct.
Sorry for aging you.
No, it's fine.
Great hair for 44.
Thank you.
You do got pretty good hair.
Thank you. I don't know what people were expecting.
Like, I had a little dust-up with Team Minhan when I went out there,
and I got a DM from a guy at 4.30 in the morning that was like,
Kirk poked you in the chest.
You should have kicked his ass. Oh, yeah, they surrounded you, right?
Yeah, it's like part of the show.
That was awkward.
I thought y'all were going to kiss.
What happened?
Do you think you guys lost as soon as Roan broke your –
That was tough.
That was a bad omen.
That was a bad, bad omen yeah the thing yeah he like hit the desk and then the glass yak team yak sign
yeah i saw it shattered he did like i would have fucking freaked out and like made it way worse he
just rolled with it he didn't notice he didn't even notice i just thought he i thought he knew
he did it was like the crowd was like going nuts him, and you're kind of in the zone at that point.
So, yeah, no, he didn't notice.
Yeah.
It was over right then.
After your report, is your phone blowing up over here?
It is.
Yeah.
Jeff D. Lowe.
Oh.
You being the Schefter-Wode shams of the dozen would be very, very funny.
Well, I don't know that.
I mean, that's just something that happens.
Yeah.
They might be the Jersey Cherry of NFL at this point.
Yeah, maybe.
That team would never lose.
But at what cost?
You guys would never lose.
At what cost?
Yeah.
The ring.
You're already a heel.
Yeah.
You're just going to be a little bit more of a heel.
Cupcake.
That's what we get the Cupcake Walker shirts going.
When did Cupcake Walker come out?
That's what Kevin Durant was nicknamed after he went to.
Oh, okay.
I see.
I see.
I see.
Yeah.
I didn't remember.
He was nicknamed Cupcake?
You also ate a ton of cupcakes in the last case race.
So it would be you, Minahan, and Quiggs.
Would you keep Quiggs?
No.
I've had.
No. This is not. You would not keep Quiggs no i i've had no this is not you would not
keep quigs no i haven't out i haven't had any discussions this is not a thing this is not this
is just in the air people are talking i think kirk would love it i think people are talking i i can't
stop people from talking no you can't i can't you and kirk are adversaries yourself you could put a
stop to it right now be like hey, hey, I'm with the experts.
We're an original team.
Yeah, that's right.
You can get out in front of the story and squash it.
At this moment, I am an expert.
Okay.
Yeah.
I am an expert. Is there anything else there?
No, I'm an expert.
There's nothing to be said.
What do you want me to say?
Do you want to sign an extension with the experts right now?
Right now.
It hasn't been offered.
Super max.
Aren't you the captain?
Yeah, you're the GM. You're the GM. I'm not the GM. No, no, no. See, that's the thing. now? Right now. It hasn't been offered. Super max. Aren't you the captain? Yeah, you're the GM.
You're the GM.
I'm not the GM.
No, no, no.
See, that's the thing.
That's the thing.
Fran's the best.
No, no, no.
Fran VP.
That's the thing about the experts.
We're all 33 and a third percent responsible for the team.
Yeah.
And last night, PFD was great.
Fran was great.
I was garbage.
So I let the team down last night.
But we're still, it's not like Team Minahan,
which just exists to prop him up and his ego.
This is a team.
Maybe Fran should go to Team Minahan.
That would be like the real super team.
I don't think that one would ever happen.
But that actually would be way better for them.
I feel like you and Kirk are very competitive.
She could fill in some gaps for them.
Right. What are you hearing about that, Jerry? better for them. I feel like you and Kirk are very competitive. She could fill in some gaps for them.
What are you hearing about that, Jerry?
I didn't hear nothing on that. I just know there was a dinner
last night. The idea was
floated.
Did you hear this in a taxi or something?
Or did you see him flying
to... I think it's very clear that he heard a dinner.
At the dinner, you didn't see anybody in the him flying to? I think it's very clear that he heard a dinner. Well, at the dinner table.
You didn't see anybody in the airport flying to meet with other teams or anything?
No, nothing like that, no.
Did you have sources inside that dinner?
When you were coerced into this dinner,
did you extend any invitations to your teammates to also attend this dinner?
Let me tell you what happened, Chief.
I was walking back from the venue.
Now, that included walking the wrong direction for 20 minutes.
Can you confirm?
Welcome.
I walked the wrong direction.
I walked south for 20 minutes.
Decided it doesn't look like Wrigley's anywhere around here.
Turned around.
It's not in River North.
Came back.
So I'm walking back, and Big Cat says, hey, he's crossed the street.
Hey, get in the car.
We're going to eat.
I said, no, I can't.
I just want to go back to the hotel and be crossing the street. Hey, get in the car. We're going to eat. I said, no, I can't. I just want to go back to the hotel and be sad.
And they made me get
in the car. They practically threw a bag
over my head and threw me in the car. And then
I went and had a delicious meal of cheese curds
and chicken wings and tater tots.
No clue.
No clue. Okay. Very good though.
Butcher, chef, chef?
The butcher's chef?
It's right besides Dag's. Dagostino's? Right beside it. Okay. Butcher's Cafe. It's right beside Dag's.
Dagostino's.
Right beside it.
Butcher's Tap.
Butcher's Tap.
Yes.
It's pretty damn good.
We went to Butcher's Tap.
And it was good.
Good spot.
Yeah, I liked it.
It's right by my house.
Thanks for the invite.
Why would I?
I didn't know.
I was coerced.
I went to go watch a hockey game.
I went home early.
What hockey game?
Stanley Cup Finals.
Oh, I forgot
that was still going on.
That's a thing, though, now.
They won a game, right?
Two to one.
Two to one.
So if they win the next one,
we got a series.
That would be a tie.
Yeah.
All right.
We're getting through it.
We're getting through it.
Where's Connor Griffin?
Who?
He's been on the couch
slandering you on instagram the same name as
the guy that blackhawks just got connor bedard yeah close halfway there he's supposed to be the
real deal right oh yeah yeah coming to chicago too so is this a uh look at him look at him see
it's it it be your own people chief not a care in the world it's your own people
like last night kirk menahan's Twitter account is just blowing him up,
showing pictures of his taint, everything.
My people, the Yak Twitter account, tweets out Brandon Walker choking.
Tweets out all, look at this,
Brandon Walker when the lights get too bright in trivia.
That's my own people.
You're telling me they would do that?
Connor Griffin would tweet that if it were Big Cat or Roan or somebody else?
You know what, Brandon?
That's the type of action that would have me exploring my options in the offseason.
Yep.
If you don't get any love.
No, no, no.
But that's different.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
That's not an expert's issue.
That's a Yak issue.
I can't leave the Yak.
I'm not talented enough.
You would assume that if you're a Yak guy, you're also an expert's guy.
Well, once the Yak got beat, right?
Yeah.
You would think.
You would think.
That's what I mean.
Smoked.
See, here's the thing about – this is my take on it.
I kind of picture Minahan and the Minifans as like a separate entity from Barstool.
Right.
They're a cult.
They're a cult.
They're a suicide cult.
They're all going to kill each other. They're going to have a mass suicide at some point like lord of the flies lord i wasn't joking
i was all right i was but um okay um and then we're all under the same roof obviously but
then there's like every other vertical at barstool sports like they might pick him up
and prop him up in terms of verticals now we every other vertical when Barstool Sports. Like they might pick him up and prop him up.
You're talking in terms of verticals now?
We, every other vertical, when you're down, you kick him even harder.
You stomp their face and rub their face in that shit like a little puppy
that took a dump on the living room.
That's how it goes at Barstool.
You have to understand that, right?
Well, that's an antiquated training method you're using.
Well, it's an analogy to.
I think we've advanced past that as a society.
I never had to do that.
My dog, he was just born housebroken.
Born with a trained anus?
Mm-hmm.
I don't know if you're the guy who should be giving advice on dog training, in fairness.
My dog never lived long enough to get trained.
Right.
So I don't want to hear this story.
I don't know what you're talking about, but I don't want to hear it.
I think you can put together the fact that my dog died.
You killed your dog?
Yes. I didn't kill the dog. Okay. The dog I don't want to hear it. I think you can put together the fact that my dog died. You killed your dog. Yes.
I didn't kill the dog.
Okay.
The dog killed itself.
Because he was living with you?
No.
Well, it was a she.
She got pregnant, had puppies, and then she got eclampsia.
Eclampsia.
Damn.
That's very sad.
No, but I gave away all the puppies.
Coley has one.
Really?
What were we talking about?
Connor Griffin.
Do you think? Yeah. Here. He can answer that for us.
I'm not right. We talked about it.
We have talked about it. We talked about it. But we didn't
solve anything. Because I
stand firm that what I tweeted last night
from the Yak account was totally fine. Isn't that the best
voice ever? Great voice.
Thank you. Great voice on this kid.
I had never said a word to kirk really before that
guy's voice is perfect oh kirk kirk minahan on a perfect podcast radio format is perfect that's
what you know what i just realized that you're just a minifan who hasn't found kirk yet i i've
never said you're crazy you're you're you're possibly a virgin. You're a minifan. That's what you are. I had sex about 12 hours ago, motherfucker.
Jerry, tweet that.
Confirmed.
There's rumors.
That's not confirmed.
That's a rumor.
Rumor.
It's like speculation.
I'm not the source.
I'm just saying.
At what point does the taking a shit on Brandon Walker ever cease?
Oh, that's a good one.
I just posted that one.
What?
That's good.
That's good.
No, what I told you is every tweet or every Instagram post or every TikTok that we put out from the Yak account is an extension of the show. If there is a joke made on the show
or a running bit
and there has been
a long running bit
of you of shitting
on Brandon Walker
of you potentially
choking in big
games in the dozen
and you care a lot
about the dozen.
And it was a very
easy tweet to send
out.
It's all about
engagement, right?
It was our most
light tweet of the
night by a mile.
Yeah, because he's
the heel.
That's part of being
the heel is you got to get bad tweets. So he's the heel. That's part of being the heel.
You've got to get bad tweets.
So that's all I had to say.
All right, thank you.
Hey, anytime.
They don't boo nobodies.
Exactly.
Are you going to go do a Yak stats about Connor Griffin's fourth appearance on the Yak?
No.
Because you run the Yak stats.
I do run that.
No, I'm not going to tweet about myself.
I've never tweeted about myself.
Can you tweet about me? Hold on. You'll be a host for the day, yeah. Me and Che are on the, I'm not going to tweet about myself. I've never tweeted about myself. Can you tweet about me?
Hold on.
You'll be a host for the day, yeah.
Me and Che are on the app, right?
I think we both agree, two to one over you, that you should tweet that.
Okay, fine.
I'll tweet it.
Tweet the con grip.
Do I get your permission on that tweet?
Yeah, you have my permission.
This doesn't sound like permission.
Tag yourself, too.
I'm tagging myself, too.
I'm commissioning this tweet.
Was this your first appearance, your second appearance?
No.
No, it's been more than that. i'll go check i'll check the numbers
um am i back in the circle of trust or no you're not in the circle of trust okay am i in the circle
of trust come on no what about uh you're not in the circle of like no you're not even close
i cannot wait till we are in each other's orbit for hours and hours a day. I think Chief's right.
We're either going to be great friends or great enemies.
I think we're going to end up being.
I can tell you like me, Brandon Walker.
Every time I walk in this office, you've got that little shit-eating grin on.
But you don't like people that like you.
Not really.
I'm detestable.
I hate myself.
There is nothing ende people like you you're
endearing about me your radar yeah exactly i told you this yesterday we're not gonna go down to the
rabbit hole of the conversation but it makes me sick to my stomach yeah right there is not one
redeeming quality that i have at all well i'll make you know lunch and stuff you look better
with you look better with a backwards hat i was thinking about this
yesterday i'm now 34 am i a douchebag for wearing no i think you just go the rest of the way just do
it yeah is there there's no like you're too old for that well there is but you passed it already
so who cares what is the age for that for back 30 that's yeah 30s probably like chief could you
turn yours around he He does sometimes.
If it's windy.
Can I be honest?
Yeah.
I don't understand the idea of the backward hat.
I don't know.
Ken Griffey Jr. made it look cool when I was like eight, so I stuck with it.
That's actually a lot of it, yeah.
That's a lot of it.
Functionally, it doesn't.
If it's windy.
Okay.
Yeah.
A hat.
Well, it won't fly off.
Yeah. Yeah.
So, like, we did a little sailing video a couple weeks ago. I turned A hat. Well, it won't fly off. Yeah. Yeah, it won't. Yeah.
So, like, we did a little sailing video a couple weeks ago.
We turned the hat around.
See, you will never pass the – you can wear a backwards hat at any point.
Why?
I don't know.
You just got that look that you can pull up anything. I've never worn a backwards hat ever.
You're a forward hat guy.
Yeah.
And when I was younger, sideways.
Yeah, see, that's something I will never, ever –
I can't do that
Sideways hat's the best way to wear a hat
If you can pull off a sideways hat, you're ahead of the game
Can we see if you, where's that rowback hat?
I can't wear a hat at all
No?
I cannot wear a hat, my ears are too big
Do you want to try this one?
It's going to be too, I'll have to resize it
That's fine
What size, do you know your fitted hat size?
Yeah, an eight
Big
That is a melon
We have some of the biggest
Or heads in the world
In this office
You know what Tom lays is
What
Eight and a half
Jeez
Yeah
Eight and a half
Is like Barry Bonds
After
Eighteen years
Of cycling
Yes
Documentary coming out
Coming out
I don't think that looks bad
You haven't
I haven't turned to look at you
I will say though That makes you look You haven't turned to look Right When i will say though that you kind of look right when i turn to look at you it's
gonna be shocking chief are you ready when i turn to look at you it's gonna be shocking
it's shocking right now yeah right i don't know it's like your head turns into an egg or something
right yeah it's misshapen head i have a miss jerry you look so old. It ages you 10 years.
I look like an Asian golfer.
Like I was good.
I won the Masters in 1974.
Who's the Australian guy, the shark?
Greg Norman.
You look kind of like Greg Norman right here.
I think when I catch your profile,
you remind me of a younger former president from the side.
Oh!
Yeah.
A certain number side. Yeah. A certain number 45.
Where's Connor at now?
We need to get this side by side.
Specifically with the rope hat.
Yeah.
Hey, Chief, where can you get that hat, by the way?
That's at the Barstool Sports Store slash Chicago.
Friday, 1-20.
It's the Cubs hat.
What's 1-20?
Every Friday home game starts at 1-20. I don't knowubs hat. What's 1-20? Oh, my God.
I don't know what I look like.
I look like I'm going to a cattle sale or something.
You look like you're on your way to Iowa.
Yeah, this is it.
I got to go check my corn.
I'll be back in a couple days.
Look at his shirt, too.
He is President Trump's son.
Where were you on January 6th, Brandon?
I was a tourist.
Chat spamming, let's go, Brandon.
He's exercising his rights.
Yeah.
That's right.
He was looking for Nancy Pelosi in AOC.
This is America, isn't it?
Yeah.
How do you think they fund that building?
You can't take a little tour?
Yeah, that's coming directly out of your pockets.
Che, I need you to do the ad that I can't do.
Yes.
My favorite drink, we were drinking it last night in the green room at the Dozen.
High Noon.
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My favorite is actually the strawberry.
I had a lime last night, and that's Big Cat's favorite and Roan's favorite.
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Strawberry, my favorite.
Lime, Big Cat and Roan's favorite.
Grapefruit and passion fruit.
High Noon Tequila Seltzer is great in the outdoors, especially around the pool.
It's been perfect here these past few days.
I've got to tell you, I've never been able to talk about the Tequila High Noons on Camry 4.
I love them.
They are delicious.
It's my favorite drink.
I'm a grapefruit guy myself.
Love them.
Absolutely love them.
You know what my favorite part about them is?
Yeah.
What's that?
I don't even have, personally, I know everybody has their preferences, but I don't even have
to dig for my favorite one.
I just grab them.
Yeah.
They're all really good.
They're all winners.
I like the regular High Noons, but I like these actually more.
Delicious.
They're great.
And tequila, I think, is like, technically, it might be the healthiest version.
Yes.
I think so.
Like Tom Brady would say that.
Yeah.
Sounds healthy.
Look for them at Drizzly
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High Noon,
the absolute best
tequila salt sir.
Jerry,
are you done
on that beat
or you got more?
No, no, that's it.
I just said
what I had to say.
That's it.
That's the mark
of a good reporter.
Yeah.
So Jeff D. Lowe, the commissioner, sent out an email this morning.
I don't check my email.
What did it say?
Okay.
Just basically thanking everybody,
but also saying that the offseason is going to be interesting.
So I think there's 24 teams now.
And he said he doesn't know how many teams are going to be in next year,
but it's not going to be 24.
Yeah.
That was too many teams.
Mostly y'all sucked. We had a rough year. Yeah, that was too many teams. Most of y'all sucked.
We had a rough year.
Oh, I wasn't even talking about y'all.
Y'all are at least interesting because of the cheating that he does constantly.
Yeah.
But most of the people in the dozen suck this year.
Who do you think is a guy outside of yourself or gal
that could be on the move this year in the dozen offseason?
That was just such a tacked on or gal.
You clearly didn't mean the or gal part.
Could be.
I think there's a gal on the move.
Yeah?
Well, I think –
Maybe I signed one to a contract.
Listen, I think –
I don't know how locked down Gia is to the Honkers.
I think that would be a very big free agent possibly.
That's Fran's sister, correct?
It is, but she has a name as well.
I've never met her.
She was, I believe.
I think she beat Clemmer, which they were teammates.
What was that?
It's fun to see Clemmer take L's.
You don't like Clemmer?
I like Clemmer, but it's still fun to see him take L's.
I like you.
It's fun to see you take L's too.
And that's all.
Why don't you ever celebrate my W's?
Show me one.
God damn it.
That was just easy. That damn it. Ooh. Ooh.
That was just easy.
Easy.
That was softball practice.
Ooh.
Congrats on the Mississippi State softball World Series.
Baseball?
No.
Neither happened.
Didn't they win a championship of some type?
Years ago. A couple years ago.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So congrats on that.
Remember when Northwestern mopped the floor with Mississippi State in 2013 Gator Bowl?
Well, first of all. First of all, first of all, our coach.
Do you remember that from 10 years ago?
I remember it exactly.
We played a senior quarterback that day, Tyler Russell,
even though we had a redshirt freshman ready to start named Dak Prescott,
and we didn't turn him loose against you guys, and I have no idea why.
But, yes, I remember it.
I remember it well.
Are you still a Dak guy?
Yeah, I'm a Dak guy.
I love Dak.
Dak's one of the best humans.
Dak is an incredible human being.
Jerry, do you have college humor?
No.
No.
Just Steelers.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
Is Northwestern your college team?
Yeah.
But were they always or when you got this job? Yes.
Okay.
No, since he was like six.
Because Steven doesn't have a college team either.
Yeah.
Doesn't care.
No, the easiest way to put it, it's only 30 minutes from where i grew up and on saturday mornings
you could walk in 10 sit on the 50 yard line my dad would take me up there to like
just get me out of the house because i loved fucking sports and then as the years when i
ended up getting my own season tickets and 25 years later or whatever here we are how old are you 42
43 34 close tj you can't make that joke anymore why not because i look fucking awesome yeah i do
you're skinnier but you don't look awesome i don't look 42 you just said you just said yourself
you're too old to be wearing that backwards hat well the 30s the cutoff. That's what you just said. That's the number you gave.
I don't wear hats. I can't call
the cutoff. That's the number you gave them.
I'm the only person in this room not wearing a hat.
I think 30 is the cutoff. You're all headed up.
Yeah. I won't be next
summer.
You've got plans to not wear a hat next summer?
You made an appointment to not wear a hat.
Yeah.
I did. Well, your hair's not wear a hat. Yeah, I did.
Well, your hair's not that bad.
It's pretty fucking bad.
I'll take that back. I'm sorry.
Yeah, it's bad.
I just got it cut like two days ago, too, Wednesday.
Well, how's it?
We had Brian Urlacher give him a hair consultation.
It's like a yard in Phoenix.
It's just like, you need to water that more. I can fake it.
I have a wedding tomorrow.
I can fake it and make it look like a 3.5 out of 10.
That's actually where KB and Nick are right now.
They're at a wedding.
TJ, you want to ring?
What do you do?
Spin the wheel?
Let's spin the wheel.
I'm a little nervous about the wheel.
Okay, well, we're down to, like, the nitty gritty.
We eliminate a piece every day.
Look, something's coming up today. I know which one's coming up. Yeah, and I think I know what one's coming up to car bone would be great
Yeah
Spin it
Do they have those out here?
No
Stay stay you fucking bitch do you guys have a shower no
I Stay, you fucking bitch. Do you guys have a shower? No. No shower.
Sink wet?
I am not going to lie.
I have no idea what means in this instance. Dave, I'm not going to lie.
It's what you fucking think it means.
It's what you think it means.
One of us has to get wet.
Is there a hose out back?
We have a sink.
That's about as good as we can do, I think.
Just dunk your head in the sink? Do you have buckets? No, they have a sink. That's about as good as we can do, I think.
Just dunk your head in the sink.
Do you have buckets? No, they have a giant jug of water.
That's probably your drinking water.
No, that's fermenting wine right now.
We can't touch that. What? I'm making wine
in the office. You're making wine in the office?
It's called mead, technically. Is that legal?
I don't think so. Yeah, no, it's legal.
No, it is. I got it all on Amazon.
We can't use the big water jug because you're fermenting wine yes honey wine mead not wine yeah mead okay do y'all
have a bucket no i don't think we have a bucket no let's let's figure out who gets wet and then
let's talk about how do we figure that out i feel like we're gas so we shouldn't have the wheel
we're probably not even on the wheel right david and connor connor's on the wheel today you're
absolutely on the wheel okay i'm not on the wheel you're on the wheel, right, Dave? And Connor's on the wheel today, too. You're absolutely on the wheel. I'm not on the wheel.
You're on the wheel.
I never gave permission to be on the wheel.
You sat down.
Sitting down, you consent to this.
This is my office, not your office.
No, this is the Yaks' office.
When the Yaks hear, it's the Yaks' office.
What does that sign say?
Can't see it.
Can't read it.
It does say Chicago right behind us.
You call the shots.
Let me tell you something.
If y'all want to sit here and be like,
we're too cool to get wet.
Okay, go ahead.
I would prefer to not get wet.
Of course you'd prefer to not get wet. I am very on record as saying getting wet is the single worst thing on the planet.
Unless you're taking a shower.
At least three things worse.
I've enjoyed my time with you guys, so I will respect the wheel.
But I would prefer to not get wet.
All right. I'll get wet. But I'll respect the wheel, but I would prefer to knock it. All right.
I'll get wet.
I'll respect the wheel.
We'll figure out how to get wet after we do it.
Yeah, we'll dunk our head in the sink.
All right, here we go.
Elimination?
Yeah, it's elimination until the last two.
And then we do best of seven.
So you want to see your name here.
All right.
Go.
I like my color.
Say that.
I feel like I've met it.
Keep going. I deserve that.. Say that. I feel like that matters. Keep going.
I deserve that.
I deserve that.
Are you going to congratulate him on his W?
On his W.
Congrats.
Thank you.
See, now you can't bitch at him for not recognizing your W's.
The wheel is just.
He's only good at games of chance with his hands.
I mean, I've gotten to the finals two years in a row.
Oh, wow.
Don't you acknowledge that's a good accomplishment? That looks like it was on the line. Shout mean, I've gotten to the finals two years in a row. Wait. Oh, wow. Don't you acknowledge that's a good accomplishment?
That looks like it was on the line.
Shout out, Fran.
Yeah, and it judges where it lands.
I'm fucked.
Give it to me, baby.
I don't like this.
I like the...
This feels like a fucking setup now.
It's not a setup.
If it were a setup, we would have gotten White Sox eight.
That's true.
Keep going.
Go. Go! Go!
Alright.
I mean, it might just be a cup of water, Jerry. I don't know what we got.
This music is excellent. The wheel is electric.
The wheel is electric.
It's actually not too far.
It's not too far.
I gotta get on an airplane so I can't wait. Far yeah, not in a while here. Yeah Oh
I gotta get on airplanes. I can't I can't wait. This is ridiculous
Such bullshit
That's the seven so now you want your name. Yeah, well you always did
Or yes, right to four stays dry.
Congrats, TJ.
It's early, Jerry.
It's early. Nah, nobody comes back.
You guys want to go for a swim down at Belmont
Harbor down here?
They pull bodies out of there.
Not gonna lie, it's not looking good.
Of like 30 to 50 year old males, white guys like every winter.
That's a big range, 30 to 50.
I think it's younger than that.
Just say males.
I think it's like 25 to 35.
But I had to include Brandon.
It's rigged.
So here comes the comeback.
Never.
It's happened before.
Actually, has it happened before?
3-0 down.
It went 3-3. I won that one. 3-0 is happening. It's just a Actually hasn't happened before to get 30 down. It was three three. It's all on that one three. Oh, it's just a sweet Wow
Yeah, I mean Jerry's you were just meant to get wet
All right. What are we doing? I mean, it's pissing my count
Yes, I'm gonna say yes. I'm gonna say yes. I'd rather piss myself. Honestly. Can you do that right here?
Like right right right? Well, well, maybe not in our chair. Well, yeah, Eddie's chair, so you can piss in Eddie's chair if you want.
I mean, it's gonna be tough.
There's some like, uh...
You're gonna piss yourself?
Yeah, there's some carpet scraps right here.
Yeah, stand on the carpet scraps.
I mean, I'll try.
What color pants you got?
Black pants or blue pants.
Will we have a shadow?
I mean, what? Jesus Christ. Man, I would have loved that.
I would have loved.
Just take a cup of water or something.
No, no, no.
Nah, but the people will get mad.
All right.
All right, so we're substituting pissing himself for the wet.
That's wet.
That is wet.
That's wet.
That is wet.
I mean, I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it, but I'll try.
Do you want to take your shoes off?
Yeah, take your shoes off.
Good idea.
You can take your pants off, too, if you just want to take your shoes off? Yeah, take your shoes off Good idea You can take your pants off too If you just want to
I would take
You have extra socks?
You have extra pants
Okay
Wait, go in the middle of the carpet
Go in the middle of the carpet
If you want me to do it, I can do it
Yeah, we want you to do it
Don't see it, that's the problem
No, let't see it.
Come down your leg.
I did this once in the, yeah.
You got to be quiet.
I got to be quiet.
All right, everybody, chill.
Chill.
Chill.
Chill.
Yeah, get your stuff out of your pocket.
Get your stuff out of your pocket.
Nice wallet.
Anything else?
Phone, keys.
All right.
Just think.
Think P thoughts.
He's going.
It's got to be down the leg. Jerry
Jerry
Jerry
Jerry
Jerry
Jerry
he's soaked
he's soaked.
He's soaked.
That was a lot of piss.
Someone get him a towel.
Put the camera down and get him a towel.
You don't think you got pants?
Shorts.
Yeah, that's fine.
Jerry, I'll go home and I'll give you a pair of pants. You want a pair?
You'll be good.
How are you feeling?
You good?
I feel good.
You don't have to pee anymore.
That's a lot.
You really had to pee.
When he had streams coming down both legs, I was like, what is going on?
He's got a wide urethra.
It's a yellow one.
All right.
All right, everybody have a good weekend.
Thank you, Jerry.
That's a yak.
I was thinking about putting a towel in my face.
All right. Thank you. We'll see you next time.