The Yak - Brandon Walker Has A Major Announcement | The Yak 3-14-22
Episode Date: March 14, 2022The Yak is JustYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right.
It's the act.
I'm going to get the tweet out.
Shit, I'm about to repeat, interact, and post my own tweet.
I can't even stomach the look at Stephen Shea right now.
Let's close the blinds just for one day.
I can't even look at this guy.
Smug bastard.
Stephen, why aren't you wearing a mask?
What, COVID doesn't exist anymore?
You always have a mask on.
I do always have a mask on. He's right.
Now I gotta see your fucking smile?
Yep. Gotta show all 24.
Oh my god. Is it 24?
No, it's not 24. You have 12 teeth on the top and 12 on the bottom.
Is it 36?
All 24.
Isn't that how many teeth people have?
What?
I thought it was 32.
24 is...
I don't have all my wisdom teeth.
I'm going to count them.
Well, no, I don't think...
He's counting.
He's counting.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 14 on the top.
28.
28.
And I didn't get my –
32.
32.
Yeah, and I have more on the bottom.
I have my wisdom teeth out as well.
You have more on the bottom?
I don't know.
Let's do it again.
Count it again.
Take your time.
Ash, how many teeth do you have?
You've had your wisdom teeth removed.
You have 28.
Three, four, five, six, seven.
Boys, boys, boys.
We're counting teeth right now, Sass.
Eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen.
Wait, thirteen?
Uh-oh.
What?
Huh?
Someone would have told you.
28. Four got taken out. Sass is back from suspension. That's clearly the big news. Someone would have told you 28
4 got taken out
Sass is back from suspension
That's clearly the big news
I got a gift for you boys
Some fresh salts
Give these a whiff
Sass how was suspension?
Oh shit
These are really really strong
I have 20
26?
You have 26?
Maybe those are gonna send you
How many seats do we have combined as a show?
Those are gonna send you jumping
So just be careful with them.
Wait a second.
How was your suspension, Sass?
Pass them around.
Those are strong ones.
Pass them around.
Lit it up, bro.
Don't let it all fucking seep out.
Is this some Newfoundland shit?
Oh, man, dude. I found those tonight.
They are so strong.
Yeah.
Listen, Billion...
Oh, give those ones a whiff.
That's some new shit.
Oh, give those ones a whiff.
Those ones are strong.
I have, I have.
Those specific ones?
Yes.
That's a brand new pack.
I just cracked the seal on them.
They bought a ton of them.
Aye, aye, aye.
Aye, aye, aye. Aye, aye, aye.
I can't stomach Stephen Che.
And Sasson's suspension was good.
He didn't answer your question, but he had a good suspension.
My suspension was amazing.
Good.
Best thing that's ever happened to me.
I thought it was like a douchey video, too.
Then I looked at all the quote tweets and how disgusted everyone was, and I love it now.
I don't think people really quite
have comprehended what happened stephen che was dead he was done yeah he was gone i love this
it was he was neutered he was back to draft che the resurrection where like all he cared about was
you know being at the top of the draft and watching tape and finishing with five wins.
Is this something that happens?
What do you mean?
Where people retire and then come back.
It has happened.
Brandon.
Jordan.
Favre.
Come on, just once.
Steven Che now is full of piss and vinegar.
He's young, dumb, and full of cum.
Don't want to.
Just one.
You want to get suspended again, bro?
One puff.
You want to get suspended again?
Sure.
Don't peer pressure people. He does want to get suspended again, bro? One puff? You want to get suspended again? Sure. Don't peer pressure people.
He does want to get suspended.
He had the time of his fucking life out there.
Steven, just go ahead.
I just want to puke.
I do like that Kyle's now on your side.
I mean, it's an incredible feeling.
Over the weekend, I started to get pretty nervous.
I started feeling out the Deshaun Watson thing.
What does that mean? He was going to talk himself out of it. You started looking get pretty nervous. I started feeling out the Deshaun Watson thing. What does that mean?
He was going to talk himself out of it.
You started looking at the papers.
Well, you would have Tyreek Hill on your team, so what does it matter for you?
Well, actually, funny enough, you said that.
I wrote a blog that got delayed in publishing because they wanted to kind of let the Deshaun Watson stuff breathe,
and it was going to come out this morning, and I did.
It was basically a case for and against the Bucs signing Watson because a report did come out that the Bucs were going to go
in on uh signing him but I was texting with a very connected person who would know in the process and
um on Friday night uh he just kept responding with one phrase and it was trust the process
and I was like so what's the deal like you're texting with sam henke uh is tom coming back is are we going after deshaun and all he
would respond to me is trust the process and you're responding like four times same thing
and then i got a text last night around whatever it was 7 30 that said trust the process steven at
the same time i got a twitter alert that Tom Brady had come back,
and it was an incredible feeling.
I don't like that you're treating this like some sort of accomplishment
for the Bucs.
You're treating it like you guys just won a game this weekend.
It's Victory Monday.
He was dead, Brandon.
He was over.
I know he was dead.
He was sad, sad.
I enjoyed his death.
Yeah, it was awesome when he died.
I almost find myself rooting for something bad to happen to tom brady
or steven chai yeah yeah either one but just because i'm trying to put myself in kyle's
mindset where i'm like yes i'll enjoy this he's the hero now and i i just can't do it
dude the way that you're talking about it i can't do it it drives me fucking crazy crazy
you're so smug you're so smug. You're so smug.
So smug.
I mean, I know this is going to get brought up, but I did put out an enormous lure to
bring Tom back.
Oh, my God.
He thinks it actually-
Dude, this is amazing.
I hate the way he said lure, too.
You think that was why he came back?
Lure.
Look at what we get.
Do I think it potentially- I mean, who's to say?
But the evidence is overwhelming that it worked.
Are you saying like a folk tale?
Lauren Fack doing the Tom Brady method now for the rest of the year.
Lure.
Outside of family birthdays and holidays.
How many family birthdays are there?
I got my wife's birthday later this month.
I got my daughter's first birthday next month.
I feel like you get five family birthdays.
Correct.
Are you already back? The only major holidays or all holidays major holidays brother's birthday when
you ate the fucking green chili from david buster's that diarrhea that was like 53 weeks ago yeah
somebody tempted me to big i was like what the what the fuck is the deal with your brother going
to david buster's for his birthday as an adult man.
Yeah, we went there last week. The menu is very reduced.
Oh, you went again? We did, yes.
Oh, that's... They don't have the soup anymore is what you're saying.
They don't. Their soup options
are very low. I don't know if that's because of me or
I assume it's just due to COVID. Yeah, it's probably because of you.
Probably because of you. The world...
Like,
isn't there a thing that everyone
thinks they're the main...
The Truman Show?
Kind of.
The main character syndrome?
Yeah.
Stephen Chay has surpassed that.
He thinks Tom Brady came back.
It's not about Tom Brady.
It's about Stephen Chay.
It's about Stephen Chay.
Stephen Chay thinks he's the main character and the author.
Yeah.
See, Dave and Buster's reduced their menu because Stephen Chay got the green chili and had diarrhea.
Probably not.
And Damon and Goodwill Hunting.
Oh, my God.
This guy cannot be stopped.
You can't prove that it didn't work, my TB12 method.
Someone could probably ask Tom Brady, and he could be like, yeah, there's a reason.
So are you doing it right now?
You've already started?
I started this morning.
I'm on an email with the TB12 team.
They quote tweeted it, and it was like Wednesday 1.
I have to pull the rundown footage. I believe
I said it was going to be the calendar year plus the
playoffs, so a year from the date offered.
It's a long time. It would be
four family birthdays.
I hope you die.
I hope this gives you...
Come on, dude. What the heck?
I'm on his side.
What the heck?
I'm on his side. I, what the heck? I'm on his side.
All right.
I'm a big fan.
I'll be on this side.
I'll be on the right side.
A terrible disease and you die.
What the heck?
No, I do.
I'm firmly in the camp of this now.
Would anyone besides Roan like to join me?
I'm with you.
Okay.
I'm too close to the sun.
You've enjoyed too much.
Okay.
How long?
What's the longest time you've done the TB12 method?
Last year, I think it was the directional plus.
So I think it was five weeks.
And you're doing a full year this time?
Yes.
Well, calendar year from when offered, yes.
I just need you to stop acting like you have achieved something here.
You didn't do it.
Are you going to get ripped?
Maybe.
When I did that, I exercised pretty much every day.
Is there any chance you want to take responsibility
for starting anything else?
Maybe the pandemic?
Because I'm Chinese?
No!
No!
Fire!
He's on fire!
He got your head. Spend it! Oh, man.
Steven Che noted resident of Wuhan, New Jersey.
Oh, my God.
This is so bad.
This is so bad.
You can't have ice cream.
No.
You love ice cream.
You can't have strawberries. I do like ice cream, but I really should
not be eating ice cream. They give me...
Doing a super restricted diet for
a year is a lot. Yeah, like you can't go out
to dinner. Yeah, it's...
Me and my wife had that conversation this morning.
Okay, so maybe it's not death. Maybe I'm hoping for divorce.
Whoa. Come on, dude.
That's very
bad. Divorce and then you're so
sad that you die.
Yeah, that's where I'm going to go.
That's a broken heart.
Hey, wait.
So that means like no alcohol or anything either, right?
The TB12 method, you can indulge, but you just have to drink extra water that day.
So there are loopholes in it for sure.
Is that the way it works?
Yes, it is.
We're going to need to get Alice Guerrero.
So you're not going to do the case race on my birthday?
Oh, my God.
That was my one wish.
Oh, no.
He's going to have to take down like six gallons of water.
So Sass is one of your five family birthdays?
Family birthdays, yep.
Awesome.
That counts.
That is my only silver lining.
And I will have to drink extra water that day.
The only solace is that you're going to be in hell for having to eat like this.
That's a terrible punishment. It's really's really not bad it's just what's
really annoying is i'm just gonna have to cook a lot all right so hypothetical your wife let's say
mid-summer she's like this isn't working out we don't get to enjoy things together anymore
i want a divorce or you have to come off the tb12 method yeah what do you do? You come off the TB12 method, Tom Brady retires again.
I mean, the saying goes, family and football. Which one goes first?
Which one? Family.
So you would get, you would save
your marriage, but Tom Brady would
have to retire. What if the saying went
family and football?
It's all hypotheticals.
What if she says she wants to get a divorce
in like the first week of January?
You have four weeks left of the playoffs.
I can convince her to string it out.
No, she says, nope, I'm out.
Her bag's already packed.
She's a woman, confirmed.
Her bags are packed.
She's out the door.
She's got the kids.
She already went to court, and they're like,
Stephen Chay gets no visitation because he's such a psycho with his diet.
I don't even like talking about this.
Yeah.
What are we talking about here?
I'm trying to bring you down.
I can't have you this high.
I'm not in the cellar anymore.
I'm in the penthouse.
How about here's a compromise.
If we catch you cheating, you have to get divorced.
Yes.
Or kill yourself.
You get to choose.
I'm not going to cheat. I'm a man of my word.
Okay, so that should be easy then.
So if we catch you cheating, you have to get divorced.
I don't like implicating those type of things,
but yeah, you will not catch me cheating.
So if we go to...
Someone will catch me doing that.
Oh, damn.
So if we go to...
Where's the Super Bowl next year?
Arizona.
If we go to Arizona next year for the Super Bowl, the Yak,
you're still going to be on the TB12 diet.
Well, it depends where the Bucs are in the playoffs because
I thought you said you were doing it a year from today.
When I made the announcement, it was January 31st.
It was a calendar year.
I'll go back and pull the rundown footage.
And if it's through the Bucs playoffs.
It was just going to be the calendar year, but I figured if that happens,
we're going to be in the playoffs.
There's a loophole here somewhere, but I'm not smart enough to find it.
That may have to do it longer, or that may have to stop doing it?
It should be a whole year of doing it.
From when the offer was made, that's correct.
You didn't do it the last month.
We can pull the rundown footage, but it was going to be the calendar year. Is there a part of you
that thinks
that you are going to wind up
being an incredible athlete after doing this
for a year?
I'd probably be better, yeah.
I hate you, Kyle.
In some ways.
Why don't you think? Is it just low-carb?
He has no Nick today.
Why don't you temper their anger by telling them about the lure?
Talk about that lure.
Folklore.
A fishing lure, no?
No.
Yeah, talk about what.
Yeah, what was it?
What that was.
Yeah, like.
In more words.
It was an offer I put out on January 31st to hopefully get Tom to not retire, and it worked.
Did you say you sold your soul?
No.
A little bit?
Oh, man.
Part of it.
And you know what the worst is?
They haven't done the schedule yet, so there's going to be like seven primetime games.
Yep.
And it's just, he's going to be.
And the NFC is so bad.
So bad.
The NFC has no good quarterbacks they're gonna win the
nfc south easily yep well smart people like myself took the bucks at 33 to 1 on
you did very six i did do that because you thought that he was coming back
do that of course i did no i actually don't wait so
so do you think brady uh like do you think he went off the TB12 diet for the couple weeks that he was retired?
There are reports that he didn't, no.
There are reports from who?
There's reporting on that.
That came out Wednesday or Thursday last week.
Someone reported that he hasn't changed his diet?
Correct.
It was on SI.
Who was it?
Someone that works for TB12 who didn't want to?
No.
No, but that was a real story.
After losing the Super Bowl, he didn't go home and after not having a carb for the last 10 years, he didn't want to know. Yeah. No, but that was a real story. After losing the Super Bowl, he didn't like go home.
And after like not having a carb for the last 10 years, he didn't have just like.
That's not.
No, you can eat.
What about the many people that say it's a pyramid scheme?
I don't know.
I worry about winning.
That's the best answer though.
You waited for a reaction, but.
It's a good answer.
This is hell.
We're back, baby.
I kind of... I'm excited.
For what?
I'm a Brady guy. Always have been. It's true, you are.
Why don't you do TB12, then?
Hell no.
Also, I'm going on a revenge tour for anybody in the last...
Oh, Jesus.
You're losing me, Steve.
You're losing me fast. That's your one ally. You can't explain what is the revenge tour for anybody in the last... Oh, Jesus. You're losing me, Steve. You're losing me fast.
That's your one ally.
What is the revenge tour?
Anybody that spoke ill
and just doubted the process.
We even have two people
in-house, Old Balls
and Dante the Don, who still think
he's going to San Francisco.
And what happens if he does go to San Francisco?
He's not.
You gotta get divorced?
His post said.
I want a bet out there that you have to get divorced.
No, not to.
My wife would be legitimately very upset about that.
I don't know.
Word?
Casey Smith called Bruce Arians an asshole.
That's Steven's way to get out of it.
He's like, no.
My wife would talk about it.
That would be very.
You specifically said no divorce bets on the act. like like way to get out of he's like no i listen my wife would talk about it would be very you
specifically said no divorce bets on the act wet wheels fine but no divorce would make her a little
going out to a divorce wheel yeah oh my god this is i mean i'll adjust i have to just adjust
but it was just so nice to see you beaten down because Because you had your high, and that's everyone here.
You know, like people have their highs and you want to see them fail.
People root for me to fail all the time.
You never do.
No, sports teams do.
You thought we were going to be basement buddies.
God damn it.
It is a pretty common consensus that he's going to go to San Francisco at some point over the next couple years.
Couple months.
I'll add you to the list.
Oh, wow.
Oh, shit. I just said it's common consensus. Rowan, you've been added to the next couple years. Couple months. I'll add you to the list. Oh, wow. Oh, shit.
I just said it's common consensus.
You've been added to the list, buddy.
I'm going to put you on the list, Steven.
He knows you're bluffing. You don't have a list.
I do.
Who's on it? What's the chat saying, TJ?
Please upvote the video. Are they as disgusted as we are, or are they 10xing
with Steven Chen? They're done with this segment.
Oh, okay.
I want to do the whole fucking show about this.
Also, they want me to say that Mitch Trubisky's a stealer.
I think everyone knows that.
Good for him.
All right, spin the wheel real quick.
Stephen, I have to adjust.
I need a day.
I really was like, it's just your face.
It's the way he's standing too.
It's like, play the video he posted.
The way he's leaning.
Like the cock of his head.
This is the first time we've seen Stephen Chay without a mask in two years.
Stand up.
Stand up.
Stop leaning.
Oh, man.
You guys follow that retirement stuff?
Never a doubt. Never a doubt. I've been telling you the whole time this guy's not staying retired
and he's coming back for the bucks is this the new batman and bill is always trying to organize
a release no no no no no to my team let's fucking go this is that accent on the no no no i love it
you have not been saying it for the whole time i'm na I love it you have not been saying it
for the whole time
sorry what's that
you've not been saying
he's coming back
the whole time
I have been
you haven't
I have
there was a moment
where we shared
where you were like
this sucks
where you're like
okay he's not coming back
then what do you do
but I told you
I'm pretty sure
he's coming back
yeah you think
Brady saw that video
and was questioning if he should come back or not yeah he's coming back. Yeah, you think Brady saw that video and was questioning
if he should come back or not?
Yeah, he's like,
oh, lure the other way.
The lure.
Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
Let's fucking fuck.
Spin the fucking wheel.
Yeah, spin the wheel.
I'm pissed.
By the way, tomorrow I think
we should do a bracket with the wheel.
See if it goes well.
Okay. Besides every game. You don't want should do a bracket with the wheel. See if it goes well. Okay.
Besides every game.
You don't want to do that today?
We could.
Let's do it today.
I'm not going to be here tomorrow.
Do 67 wheels?
Yeah, I was thinking about it.
Maybe, what?
It's the yak bracket, the yak it.
Yeah, the yak it.
I don't know.
I'll enter it everywhere.
All right, spin the wheel for today.
This would be a bad day, folks.
We're way too close
to the dangers.
What?
God.
Oh my God.
What was that?
You can always...
Let's do a bracket today.
I gotta go to Diego.
You're going to Diego?
Yes. For what? Dude, I just flew up from Florida this morning. Let's do a bracket today I'm gonna I gotta go to Diego You're going to Diego? Yes
For what?
Dude I just flew up
From Florida this morning
They got me going to Diego
In two hours
For what?
Yeah what?
Some boxing shit
Oh yeah the boxing
The Ghana shit
Damn dude
Nick out in Ghana right now
Nick's in Ghana
Wait is Nick actually
Going to Ghana?
He's there now
What?
I guess
Yes
He's being real cryptic
with me.
Oh no.
That would be the one thing that I would
excuse him for if he's in Ghana.
Right. Anything else?
Any other? Like if he had to go
to Diego, he wouldn't get excused?
Cryptic how? You're not allowed to
leave me for Diego.
What types of... Has he been dodgy?
I don't know.
He's been speaking in code.
What type of code?
Ones and zeros.
Binary?
He has cell service in Ghana.
I can't.
Fuck.
I think they probably got towers in Ghana.
I think they're big into the online scams.
In Ghana? Yeah. Is're big into the online scams. In Ghana?
Yeah.
Is that one of the biggest industries?
Where is Ghana in Africa?
Is it on the west side?
Yeah.
This is Africa.
Where's Burundi?
This is Africa.
Is this Shakira?
Yeah.
How the fuck does she know?
Why would she put it on for Africa?
How the fuck does she know?
It's a World Cup, I believe.
She's not like the spokeswoman of Africa.
It's time for Africa.
It's the white tiger girl.
She's the spokesperson for Africa.
Yeah, it was...
Where is that?
She's from South America?
Colombia or some shit?
Oh, I like how you say that.
She's also Lebanese or something?
Colombia?
Colombia.
Isn't she like Lebanese-Colombian?
Is she?
She's definitely world.
Oh, she has a bunch of languages.
She's a mix of something.
She was my number one at one point.
She's like a bracket herself.
She was your number one?
At one point.
I don't know if I have a number one right now.
Maybe Daddario?
Daddario's a good, I mean, that's a timeless classic number one.
You gotta always, if you're a guy, if you're an American, you've got to walk around with a number one.
Imagine going to a bar and someone's like, who's your number one?
You need one on deck.
I don't know my number one's name.
Oh, no.
What?
Don't TikTok.
That's all I know.
That's not good.
Let's double check.
You're going on the list, too.
You and Kay are both on the list.
Megan's Law
You never know
You don't know these days
She's a mom
Send her a tiktok
I wish that changed anything
Who's your number one Owen?
My longest tenured number one was Lucy Pinder
Oh yeah
Tebow's college girlfriend
I don't know how to find her
I don't know how to find her.
I don't know.
Jennifer Aniston is my number one for a few years back.
Pamela Anderson is probably my longest number one.
That was like 1995 to about 2000.
I don't know.
She was an archetype.
She had a decade to herself.
She was the goat.
My first one was Mariah Carey.
It was weird.
Yeah. Britney Spears was my number one when I was Mariah Carey. It was weird. Yeah.
Britney Spears was my number one when I was 12 years old. Not anymore, though.
Not anymore. Which is a shame
because she's showing me everything I would have wanted
to see at that time. Yeah.
You know who's also sneaky GOATed?
I saw her at some award show
last night. Mandy Moore,
dude. Oh, Mandy Moore is, yeah.
She's up there. She's just a time a timeless
classic she's got one stuff one potential she she has one stuff she's like a one i mean it's like
she's a little bit later on in her career but like a farry tries could pick her up and
yeah exactly she could run in one for for the brown. She was crafted to be her age right now.
Yeah, honestly.
She's more in her own ever.
She's aged perfectly.
Send it.
I don't know how to find her.
You don't know how to find your number one?
The algorithm will tell you.
If you watch her as much as you're horny.
I just see her every now and then.
It sounds like you don't have a number one.
You don't have a number one?
I have a number one.
It's weird to not know your number one's name and have them be a random TikTok.
I even looked her up the other day so I could know her name and I forgot it.
Did Nessa bear it?
This is my number one.
She has 4,000 followers.
The jugs just wipe your memory.
Oh, they're fantastic.
Steven, you got number one?
I can imagine her already.
It's massive jugs.
There's a couple vying for the roles.
Dude, it's going to be like the 18-year-old who came in the office.
One of the girls from the Latin podcast.
You guys got number ones on deck?
Ana de Armas.
Oh!
Fuck yes.
Fuck yes.
She's the ideal girlfriend.
So my longest running, I don't know if you guys know her, Nia Long.
Of course.
Nia Long is my longest running. Of course. Neil Young from Sl if you guys know her, Nia Long. Of course. Nia Long is my longest run.
Of course.
Ooh.
Neil Young from...
Long hair like Nia Long's.
Isn't that Lisa from Fresh Prince?
Shut the fuck up, Che.
What are they laughing at?
Wait, what did you say?
Nia Long, Fresh Prince, Lisa?
No.
That's Lark.
I don't think she was in...
She wasn't in Fresh Prince, as far as I know.
She's Friday.
Oh, was she in Friday?
Okay, I never watched Fresh Prince.
Am I right?
No.
Lisa Turtle is Lark.
No.
That's saved by the bell.
She is Will Smith's girlfriend, briefly.
I don't remember her name.
Lisa could be right.
She's in Boys in the Hood.
It's short hair.
I'm just right.
Short hair.
Yeah, it's knee-long.
She's topless in Boys in the Hood.
Really?
Yep.
I don't even know if i have a number one
well no dude come on i should probably do like new rankings i gotta excuse me i gotta find this
bitch i went to a party one time and you lectured the entire place on why emma stone's the hottest
girl in the world and it's oh that's a good number one change that was a phase and was this
how long have you guys known each other he was command commanding a room. Yeah? I was not.
This was like less than a year ago.
All my TikToks are cats.
What?
Just look up cat girl big jugs.
There is a lady on TikTok.
She's probably like 55, 65, and she just fixes cabinets all day with her titties falling out.
Do you know who I'm talking about?
Yeah.
You know who I'm talking about.
There's one who eats raw meat with big tits too.
I feel like that's Brandon's whole out.
All right.
I found her.
I found her.
Yeah.
See?
And you just had to swipe a little bit, didn't you?
What's her name?
I don't know.
You probably are so horny on that app.
I don't know if you could have a number one be like a random.
Send it.
I love her.
You're definitely so horny on this fucking app.
Oh, my God.
Are you about to have a Stu moment, dude?
Are we about to?
Okay, well, we're not going to do it.
No, well, you got to do it.
Well, we do.
Well, I just found it.
Stu's the last of a dying breed.
Yeah.
I tried to explain to him why that tweet was bad, and he didn't really understand.
He was like, why do they care what a fucking old 60-year-old Jew on Long Island thinks?
I was like, well, it's not really like, read the comments.
That's a good defense for anything you do wrong.
Why would they care?
My dumb ass thing.
Just because I'm racist.
From West Virginia.
Why would they care?
I don't know.
It was funny because I was like, Dave, I was like, I saw it three hours
late and I told Dave and Dave was like, all right, this is bad.
I don't think Stu, like, he's still living in, like, 1990.
Oh, yeah.
It's like, this is something that would happen at, like, something that happened at high
school and kids would get suspended for, like, we found the list.
The list. Yeah. He just did it out for it. Like, we found the list. The list.
He just did it out in public.
And this is in high school.
Right.
It's a company.
That was his anniversary gift to his wife.
That was the best part about it.
You can actually tell, Stu, he gets a testosterone shot once every two weeks.
You can tell right when he's like, I shot it.
Yeah, you definitely can and i wonder if because he does post his wife a lot and says glowing things about her so i wonder
if he thought he had just built up enough goodwill with his wife that he's like oh i've been yeah let
me just i think he's the closest thing we have in western civilization to a literal savage
the way he eats and works out and fucks and does everything a hundred there's nothing he does half
he said even like when he came in the other day he's like yeah i haven't smoked in like 29 days
like really he's like yeah because if i do i just have to smoke so much i'm like you don't
but that's you're right he is balls to the wall it's like a raw steak dripping from his fucking mouth. His fucking body is breathtaking.
He said he's had to go to the hospital
a couple times for binge eating.
He has.
Poor heart, dude.
His heart must be going through
such fucking...
He has like a six pack
resting on a belly.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
But is that a recycled picture?
Is that like a greatest hits picture?
Yeah, it was a couple
greatest hits pictures.
Look how excited Brandon is that he just has been around his horny box.
How many followers does she have?
Is she famous?
Oh, she's not famous.
No, she has 926,000 followers.
Is she your number one?
She's Australian?
No, she's from the south.
She's southern.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, proud American. I love her fucking voice, yeah. All right, let's from the south. She's southern. Oh. Yeah. Oh, proud American. I love her fucking voice.
Yeah.
All right, let's see her voice.
No, go down to the one.
The way her voice jiggles.
Cherry pick.
Oh, we got cherry pick.
A random sample.
I got to tell you the one I like.
You got a bouncy voice.
You might actually have a shot with her, her videos.
You should check out her OnlyFans, too.
What?
She got OnlyFans?
Oh, yeah.
You probably don't like that.
It's pretty sick.
No, I don't like that.
Brandon's new contract is already gone. I don't like that. He's like, OnlyFans? I love this woman, too. What? She got an OnlyFans? Oh, yeah. You probably don't like that. No, I don't like that. Brandon's new contract is already gone.
I don't like that.
He's like, OnlyFans?
I love this woman, though.
You're going to be a sugar daddy for her?
Okay, well, I don't really like her.
Let me ask how many times I have her.
Brandon.
Let's look at who her followers are.
I bet they all just look like Brandon.
Is she a mom?
Yeah, she's a mom.
She does a lot of TikToks.
Yeah, she does a lot of TikToks on the school pickup line.
This is like so...
That one has three million views.
Go to that one.
A big titty mom from the south.
Right there.
A little bit up.
Yeah.
Let's see what this one is.
Well, I don't like that.
Why?
That's not her.
Yes, it is.
That's her?
That's her stomach?
Gross.
Oh, Brandon, you don't need that.
Dog.
Don't say that, Brandon.
What the fuck?
Suspend him.
That's fucked.
You should love her more
because she has a...
Brandon.
I didn't know that.
Oh, it's crazy.
Children, Brandon.
You can't say that.
I didn't know that.
You're a piece of shit.
You are.
You still lost your number one.
Number one just got upset.
Imagine what she would say
if the roles were reversed.
Good point, Steven.
You're a disgusting pig.
I'm not her number one.
I can't have her at number one.
No, Brandon's got no stretch marks.
She stays at number one.
She's my number one.
I like her.
Damn, Brandon, we can't be doing that.
You didn't.
I didn't do it.
No, I didn't do it.
I didn't say anything when I saw the video.
I was like, oh, there's another video of her.
She seems like a nice lady.
Seems like a wonderful gal.
She's from the south. I like that. That's Seems like a wonderful gal. She's from the South.
I like that.
That's your biggest...
A lot of TikTokers from the South.
Your wife is hotter.
Ooh.
Thank you.
Helping you out.
Thank you.
And your wife likes you more.
Probably not after what just happened there.
No, you got a new contract. Have you bought your wife likes you more. Probably not after what just happened there. No, you got a new contract.
Have you bought your wife anything nice?
You should.
Let's brainstorm something.
Oh, look at that smile.
How much are you making now?
It's all right.
Things are good.
Things are good.
Wait, what's that smile?
What'd you buy her?
I bought a BMW.
Whoa!
Jesus Christ. A BMW. Damn. buying what'd you buy her about bmw whoa jesus christ bmw damn being a whole bmw
lease or buy buy whoa and you already bought it damn it you get a signing bonus when did you buy
it i had a big weekend whoa just went out and bought a b? What did you buy for yourself? A BMW? Nothing. I took care of her first.
Bought a W?
If that ass fat may be going to have that.
By the way, that really was for us, and then you put it on Instagram.
It went viral as an Instagram story.
I know that.
I've never seen it.
I know that.
3,000 people shared it.
Can we watch that real quick?
Holy shit.
Yeah, might as well now.
That was just for us.
He did say don't show anybody.
People loved that.
So you weren't here though that he came in and he hadn't seen it.
I had texted to the group he hadn't seen it on Friday
when we did the show.
If that ass fat
KB gonna have that.
He went down and picked up his
briefcase and walked to work.
A lot of questions about
the sound at the beginning.
What sound?
It's a wet sound.
Is there a wet sound?
Go.
Oh, I heard it.
Go. Sounds like someone spit.
Is that a dog?
Is that a fart? Oh, stop. Is that a dog? Is that a fart?
Stop that.
Stop that.
Is that your flashlight?
Make them stop that noise.
I don't know what that is.
I didn't tell me, Walker.
If that ass fat, KB, don't.
Your laugh at the end.
I thought that was going to be for an audience of me guys
Too good, we're content boys
He is too
And Friday it started showing up
Zero Follower account started tweeting at me with it
And I was like, where did you get that?
I didn't ask for that
Whatever and asked for that. Whatever. That's fine. Whatever.
KB's going to have that.
He's nervous to drop the news that KB is unfortunately
going to have that.
He got through the hard part.
He knows it's more cumbersome
for me than anything.
At this point,
you're just tired.
My wife is watching.
She's now seen the Tommy,
and she's found out my number one
is just a doppelganger of hers.
You got her a BMW.
What model was it?
Z350?
No.
SUV?
Yeah.
What's the MSRP?
Is it the 21 or the 22?
We're not doing MSRPs.
Come on.
You got a good deal?
I got a good deal, yeah.
What year is it, though?
You pulled up and you had a briefcase of cash.
22?
And you bought it outright?
A little more than what we want.
Yeah.
Well, I'm paying for it.
You tipped.
What about what color?
White.
Whoa.
What?
Leather?
White BMW?
White on white.
God damn, Brandon. Wait, white on the inside? Wait, what do you mean white on white? White on Whoa. What? Leather? White BMW? White on white. God damn, Brandon.
Wait, white on the inside?
Wait, what do you mean white on white?
White on white.
There's white seats on the inside?
Are you afraid you got rich kids now?
No, no, I don't.
Yeah, they're driving BMWs.
Hey, dude, you do have rich kids.
We're heading back south soon, so it'll be all right.
You're going to be more rich than that.
Wait, what does that mean?
What?
Well, I've told y'all we're heading back south soon.
You haven't?
After the act one day, I told you guys.
I said.
Yeah, but with live show.
I've sold a party of eight.
Yeah.
Oh.
We're going back.
I'm moving.
We're going to buy a house in the south, and I'm going to be back and forth.
Did you have an announcement?
I'll never see your ass again.
See ya.
That was the announcement?
Football season, I'm going to live up here.
Yourself?
Nick actually said it last week.
He said, Brandon's moving in with me.
He said, we're going to be roommates.
He said that himself?
He was joking.
That was obviously a joke.
It wasn't a joke.
We've been tiptoeing around it, and then you just made the announcement as unceremoniously as possible.
It's not a big announcement.
No, we're going back.
We're going back home.
I'll still.
I'll still.
That was the whole announcement.
I remember someone who left and said they'd be back all the're going back to our house. I'll still. That was the whole announcement. I remember someone who
left and said they'd be
back all the time and now
look where he is.
Fucking.
You can't even say their
name anymore.
It's his name.
Oh, Voldemort, dude.
It's his name anymore.
Voldemort left.
I will.
That guy again.
I'm going to be six
months living there, six
months living here.
Where are you going to
live when you live here?
I literally am going to
live with Nick.
What?
I promise you that won't happen you're not
what guarantee that doesn't happen no you're not you can afford a bmw at full mls
bird dogs the bird dogs add just do the bird dogs i don't know i'll just oh and you you stink
i'll figure it out you stink You stink brother
Alright bird dog joggers are awesome
They sell a bunch
And they come with built in silky soft inner liner
That's basically underwear and never rides up
They're the most comfortable joggers ever
Go to birddogs.com and enter promo code yak
They'll throw in a free bird dogs beanie
That's birddogs.com promo code yak
Look at Roan he's got his Bird Dogs on right now.
I've been wearing them every weekend.
And they are so comfortable.
They're so, so comfortable.
And they have pockets with zippers.
Yes.
Which is a must.
I just found another pocket today.
I didn't even know.
You got your Bird Dogs on too?
I got them on.
And I talked to some of the boys from Bird Dogs. They got big things
in the works for us specifically.
Really?
The New York boys, not the Mississippi guys.
Oh, no, no, no. I still can't believe
that was your announcement. I was like
I wasn't making an announcement. That's a big
announcement. That's a big announcement. Huge announcement.
You're not going to be on the Yak for six months. I am going
to be on the Yak. It won't
really apply for this year. Apply more for 2023. You're not going to be on the Yak. 23? And are you going to be on the yak for six months out of the year. I am going to be on the yak. It won't really apply for this year.
It'll apply more for 2023.
You're not going to be on the yak, bro.
2023?
When are you going to be on the yak?
I'm only going to be gone for July this year, and I'll be back August 1st.
Oh.
Yeah.
It's not going to apply for this year.
You're not going to live with Nick.
Because my lease isn't up until June 30th, so I'm not leaving until June 30th.
And then I'll be gone month of July, maybe.
You think you're driving a BMW in Mississippi?
Yeah.
People aren't going to like that.
You bought a house this weekend, too, didn't you?
That thing's getting jacked.
Straight cash.
I didn't buy a house yet.
I'm looking.
Should we look on Zillow?
Yeah, what type of plantation?
Oh, my God.
Y'all want to look on Zillow?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let me show you the house.
No, no, no.
I can't.
Do it. do it.
We're having fun.
Celebrate your newfound wealth.
Starkville.
Let's go to Starkville.
Your newfound wealth.
Yes.
Let's find this nice fucking house.
I need a space for my boy Tommy.
A fucking VR room for him.
It should be like the house from Blank Check.
Okay.
How many bedroom baths?
Four and four?
We need four.
Do four.
Just do four.
Four plus.
Yeah, and the ones south of town are the ones we're looking at.
Yeah, those south.
Look at that one.
Look at that one, $5.99.
You know what you can get in Jersey for $5.99?
Whoa, look at this house.
You can get Jersey for $5.99?
Brandon, you are-
I'm not buying that.
I'm not buying that.
You have rich kids.
I'm not buying that.
I'm just saying-
Look through a little bit.
Definitely.
Scroll through some of the pictures.
Look at what I can buy for $5.99.
Are you coming back the richest man in Mississippi?
That's nice.
You're going to get a lot.
Wow, look at that.
Oh, no.
It's like a lodge.
The inside's not as good.
I don't like that.
What's the property tax?
Very low.
Very low.
We have to get a new mic for Steven.
It looks like that place just hurts to live in. Yeah, I agree. The inside's not great. Now that the bucks are good again, we have to get a new mic for Steven. It looks like that place just hurts to live in.
Yeah, I agree.
The inside's not great.
Now that the bucks are good again, we have to get a new mic.
I'm not worried.
I'm not going to buy that house.
I'm just saying, look at what...
That's a weird sink.
Look at what the money can buy you there.
All right, click on other ones.
You're going to get a little guest bedroom for Mitzi.
The one next to that one.
To the right.
Yeah, that one.
Oh, wow.
Look at this.
We got a pool in here. Yeah, that's. Oh, wow. Look at this. We got a pool in here.
Yeah.
That's a little much.
I don't like how flush the doors are.
What's with two big couches facing each other?
What do you do there?
I don't know.
I build a basketball court.
Between the couches?
Yeah.
Can we do a week in July?
Yeah.
Down on the ranch?
I'm out.
Brandon Walker Smoking Lounge.
You don't want to go?
I'm never going to Starksville.
Yes, you are.
You've said that you would.
I'm never going to Starksville.
Look at that.
It was part of the deal.
It was part of the deal, Brandon.
Part of the contract.
Did I have to go there?
You would spend a month with him.
What's the main amenity that your wife is jonesing for to get out of Jersey?
Is it more closet space?
A BMW?
Well, so she already got that.
She doesn't care. She's right or die. She'll do whatever I want. Now that she got the BMW? Well, so she already got that. She got that. She doesn't care.
She's right or die.
She'll do whatever I want.
Now that she got the BMW.
Oh, this motherfucker right here.
Oh, that's a great porch.
That's a great sitting porch.
This is on 16 acres of land right here.
It's not so rich that your kids would be.
This is on 16 acres.
Oh, wow.
This is in the woods.
It's away from all you motherfuckers.
Yeah.
I can see us doing some paintball out there.
Oh, yeah.
Some paintball.
Yeah.
Are we enacting the Civil War?
This one's being looked at, boys.
This shit makes me feel uncomfortable in this house.
That's obviously haunted.
Yeah, this house definitely has some murders.
This one's being looked at.
I have a practical question about that.
If you live on 16 acres of land, how do you mow your lawn?
Does that take like two days?
You don't.
You don't mow.
You don't have like a fresh lawn on a 16-acre.
You mow what's around the house. Half of it is like woods. You mow what's around the house, but you don't mow the whole thing. You don't mow the fresh lawn You mow what's around the house
You mow what's around the house
But you don't mow the whole thing
Look at that, is that a holler?
How do you get the lawnmower out there?
It's a pond
It's a holler
Jay would be lawnmowing in the fucking woods
What?
It's my property
What town would have the biggest for the lowest?
Oh, there's 2.2.
There's a little price.
That might be Dan Mullen's house.
Really?
Or, yeah, he's still selling his house.
I don't think he's sold his house yet.
That might be Dan Mullen's house.
Let's see.
There'll be a Mississippi State-like thing on the bar downstairs.
Oh, I guarantee you there's going to be.
Although, this is...
That's a nice-ass house.
That's cute.
That's a little bit much
A BMW for the wife
Some steak freaks for me
Some Lomo Saltado
You should
Maybe now that you got your big
You got your money now
You should
You should buy the Brandon Walker
Is it the Ben Mintz
Or the Brandon Walker Smoking Lounge
Ben Mintz
Ben Mintz
You should buy it and rename it I'm gonna buy it and rename it Ben Mintz or the Brandon Walker Smoking Lounge? Ben Mintz. Ben Mintz. You should buy it and rename it.
I'm going to buy it and rename it.
Yeah.
Ben Mintz.
No, it's not for sale.
Well, you don't know how much.
Anything is for sale.
Oh, the Brandon Walker Smoking Lounge is a deep, deep family friend thing.
It's a deep relationship there.
It's not for sale.
Big hat.
The one silver lining.
$100,000?
They would do it?
Yeah, they're taking that deal. Just for the naming rights? $100,000? I would sale. $100,000? They're taking that deal.
Just for the naming rights?
They would not accept $100,000.
Not even just for the name?
Yes, they would.
Give me the number.
Oh, let's call now.
Except $3,000.
$100,000.
I want to call right now.
Let's make some calls.
Yeah, I love making calls. Making calls is a blast. I could to call right now. Let's make some calls. Yeah, I love making calls.
Making calls is a blast.
I could put the number in.
It's his cell phone.
But give it to me.
I'll let you call him.
But could you?
You could probably get some heat in Fairbanks, Alaska.
Or do they upcharge for the scenery?
Pull up Zillow on Fairbanks, Alaska.
All right.
Four bedrooms.
Don't you get a check to live in Alaska?
You're calling Phil when you hit that button?
I'm calling Phil right now.
Phil's not going to answer because Phil doesn't answer strange calls.
You can call him if you'd like.
If he doesn't answer,
I'll possibly...
Do a voicemail if he doesn't answer.
So don't...
What, say that I'm Jewish?
Only half.
You can smell it out.
He's not going to answer.
He knows just by the area code.
3-1-2, this city boy.
The hell, is Jew calling me right now?
He's just picturing the anchors from Harry Potter.
Why don't you call?
I don't know why I called.
Just give me your phone.
Can I at least tell him?
Just be like, hey, I'm putting on Big Cat.
Let me do that.
Definitely not Jewish.
How would you ask?
Average size nose.
Putting on my Gentile friend.
Hey, Phil.
He's running the smoking lounge.
He's running the...
Ben Mintz?
It's packed. It's got to be. It's not just the lounge. He's running the... Ben Mintz? It's packed.
It's got to be.
It's not just a lounge.
All they do is get Taco Bell every day and sit there.
He sells cigars online.
You just get Taco Bell for lunch and sit on couches.
Online?
Like on a lunch?
Either way.
Oh, I'm genuinely confused where he sells it.
Probably on the internet.
He runs the cigar industry in West Point, Mississippi.
What's the name of the cigar place?
Smokestack.
What do you mean?
They have like a...
Smokestack.
Is it also a bar?
Are they allowed to sell booze?
There's a liquor store adjacent.
Frank's Package.
You go back and forth a little?
Yeah.
That's cool.
That's the Brandon Walker Smoking Lounge right there.
All the Pez dispensers.
Very nice.
That's a very Brandon thing.
Like a tchotchke.
What's this? Fairbanks, Alaska?
Is this four bedrooms?
That's reasonably priced homes.
Welcome to Verizon Wireless.
Who are you calling?
Call the number you can pay today.
You haven't paid your bill?
Call the smokestack.
What number did you get?
That shit is nice in Fairbanks.
The number on their website.
Are they probably disconnected?
Are they because they need money? No. Alaska's a little more expensive than i would imagine is there any way we could search just the whole country see what like the biggest house you
can get for a million cheapest dude look up jackson wyoming the houses are like 50 million
dollars are we looking for what it is i i looked it up. I was curious. All of them? All of them.
Is that where you were served your suspension?
No, I wasn't in Wyoming.
I was in Jackson Hole, so you're lying.
I was in Rada.
Look at this house.
Oh.
Where is this?
That's West Point, Mississippi?
Of course.
That's a course.
That's right outside West Point, yeah.
It's New Jersey.
It's lower east side.
Yeah.
It's New Brunswick.
I don't like the color scheme.
You do or don't? Don't. What? You do? Yes. Beautiful. It's New Brunswick. I like the color scheme. You do or don't?
Don't.
What?
You do?
Yes.
Beautiful.
This house is gorgeous.
Significantly better than everything that you showed us in Mississippi.
Yeah, this is a fucking...
Mississippi sucks compared to this shit.
Are you going to whitewash your fence?
Not my fence, no.
Look at that from afar.
Oh, my God.
Beautiful.
I'd love to just go away
and just never come back.
Hey, Cat,
you could go to Mississippi, though,
as Brandon goes
and kind of just
be the bigger dog.
Should I buy a bigger house
next to him
and never live in it?
Yeah, just have it
and just kind of...
Rent it out
to spring breakers.
The loudest people you can find.
Just buy a house on his property.
Throw a spring break party for HBCUs.
Yeah.
Go.
All the kids from Jackson come up.
Let's go.
Coach Prime.
That would be incredible.
Swag surfing.
Oh, I'm going to miss you, Brandon.
I'm not leaving.
So this is your last yak?
No, there's announcements coming, but that has nothing to do with that.
I don't think you already announced it.
I didn't think of it.
Yeah, it won't affect this year.
What announcements are coming?
We're going right into football season.
What announcements are coming?
I'll just figure it all out.
Tell us.
I don't really know yet.
What do you mean?
What do they pertain to?
Do I have to move?
I mean, I don't know. TJ asked you to move What do they pertain to? Do I have to move? I mean, I don't know.
TJ asked you to move.
Oh, what?
TJ's got to move?
TJ, you know that I would ask TJ to move, but TJ's got the yak now.
TJ's a made man here now.
You would ask TJ to move to Starkville, Mississippi?
If he were still a young producer that needed, yeah.
That would suck. That would suck.
That would blow.
Oh, yeah, I hate to live around a bunch of college girls.
It would suck.
It's Mississippi State.
They're good looking.
Come on, Roan.
Don't tell me you didn't have a good time in Starkville two weeks ago.
They ranked Starkville low on the list.
Last.
Left.
Dead last.
How do you do this to me?
I set you up.
It wasn't even Roan.
It was Caleb.
No, it was both of them. I called and I set you up. It wasn't even Roney. It was Caleb. No, it was both of them.
I called and I set them up.
I had the restaurant waiting for them.
I told you that Four Brothers was incredible.
Two Brothers.
It was Two Brothers.
I told you that that was really nice.
And I said that the drive-in was, yeah.
He's talking about the movie.
Yeah.
The year play sucks.
He saw Four Brothers.
I told you about the things that I liked.
I thought that the food there was good.
You only tell me the things you like.
I said it on the show.
I said it on the show.
I said it on the show.
I said it on the show.
I said it on the show.
I said it on the show.
I said it on the show.
I said it on the show.
I said it on the show.
I said it on the show.
I said it on the drive-in.
We talked fucking extensively about the drive-in.
They said he listened to Lord Huron on the drive-in.
You tell me what you like.
You tell everybody else what you don't like.
I've said five times that I listened to a Lord Huron song driving over that lake, and
it was a fucking transcendent drive.
I said that so many times that it's almost at the point where I'm sucking your dick.
I've not heard that once.
I didn't know Lord Huron.
Oh, I knew about the Lord Huron.
I said it on the show.
Caleb ranks the Storm Chasers 2022.
God damn it.
5.5.
And you know he's honest.
Should have stayed at TCU instead of going here.
Vegas of Fast Food.
I got y'all a great restaurant.
Y'all had wings.
Still not over Caleb's Dixie Dirt video at Starkville.
Went from down 18 to OT after Storm Chasers arrived.
Yes, that was the best part.
Yeah, he did say that it was the Vegas of fast food chains.
Said that a lot.
I just, like, should have stayed at TCU.
It would have been a great ending point kind of to end off on TCU.
Plus, you know, it did make sense really travel-wise to get there.
But we made it, and we made the best of it.
And I think that you will be very affluent around there.
And I think that once you open up that indoor hallway hotel, I that the town is going to change there's a hilton garden inn
right there it's right by the 30 miles out into her hallway hotel there is a there is a beautiful
change the game there's a hilton garden inn hotel right there by the college you should be like the
rockefeller of that town you really should just go in like a vanderbilt and just like build out
everything because isn't that was that's what go in like a Vanderbilt and just build out everything.
Because that's what happened in Northwest Arkansas.
The Waltons just took over.
And with their newfound wealth that they got up north. They don't have Walton wealth.
For Mississippi, you do, though, I think.
Well, they're in Arkansas.
But their area's kind of nicer.
It's because of them.
That's what I mean.
And you can make yours great.
All right, fine.
Make Starkville great again
Or not again
Because that would imply
That it's been great
Yeah yeah yeah
Make Starkville great
For the first time ever
In it's history
I don't like shitting on Starkville
That's not
I agree
Starkville's a wonderful place
We are
I agree
Big difference
Starkville's a wonderful place
And we treated you
Terrific
Let's shit on
Kutztown Pennsylvania
Chill bro
Chill not Kutztown bro
Kutztown You can shit on Muhlenberg all you want But not Kutztown, Pennsylvania. Chill, bro. Chill. Not Kutztown, bro. Not Kutztown.
You can shit on Muhlenberg all you want, but not Kutztown, dude.
Not Muhlenberg.
No, dude.
Not the mules.
The one thing that I thought was interesting about Starkville is that they said that there
was part of the land that they tried to give back to Native Americans, and the Native Americans
were like, no, we don't want this.
We don't want it.
It's so bad.
We don't want it.
It's just such bad land.
We don't even want it.
We want no parts of it. Zob, what are't want this. It's so bad. We don't want it. It's just such bad land. We don't even want it. We want no parking.
Zob, what are you looking at?
That house looks amazing.
I love going on Zillow.
My lease is up in a couple months.
Okay, so what are you looking at?
So I am looking in the wrong way.
I'm looking for – so I was trying to think.
I don't know if it's time for me to go solo yet.
I feel like I'll go nuts if I go solo.
No, you're out. Have you thought about maybe moving to Starkville?
Hell no.
Barstool, Starkville.
Hell no.
You know what they do to black people down there?
You would do great there.
I'm all right.
Oh, my God.
We should see if we can get everyone to move to Starkville.
That would be awesome.
It's a prank.
I would move out there.
It's like a lot of people went down to Jackson
to film the Coach Prime stuff.
Like, they were...
Far away is Jackson.
Two hours.
Jackson is a capital city.
Jackson's the home of the Civil Rights Movement.
What do you mean it's the worst place?
That's more in the Delta.
How far away is Starkville from the best major city?
Oh, boy.
Long question.
You exhaled like you were just crying.
Probably Nashville.
The most difficult question I've ever asked.
It's two hours from Memphis, two hours from Birmingham, but really.
This is nice.
Atlanta is four hours away.
Okay.
Atlanta is a good place.
Memphis and Birmingham.
New Orleans is four hours away.
Golden Triangle is right there.
Right.
That's where, yeah.
Columbus, Starkville, West Point.
I think that, uh...
I think you'll do just fine down there, Brandon.
Yeah, I think you will.
I lived there for 40 years.
Yeah, no, but people are going to look at you different now.
They're not.
What's your haircut compared to what it was like?
I think the second I get back, I'm going back to the old haircut.
Just try to put yourself out there,
do local sports leagues,
like co-ed softball.
I'm not...
Eat and greet, bingo.
This isn't until 2023.
What's wrong going out to eat by yourself?
Yeah.
If it even happens, it's 2023.
This year, I'll just go,
I'll take a vacation,
July, and then I'll be right back, probably.
What's your other announcements, though?
I don't know yet.
I can't say.
What are the realms of them? You just dumped this other announcement. Now, let's just get it. No, I know yet. I can't say. What are the realms of them?
You just dumped this other announcement.
Now let's just get it.
No, I can't.
I can't dump a couple of announcements.
I don't have anything that's prepared.
I don't even have anything.
I just have germs of ideas.
Okay, what's the idea?
That you have a show from down there and do Sling live from down there every day?
The Brandon Walker Smoking Lounge, perhaps.
So you're going to do it live from the Smoking Lounge?
Definitely buying the Smoking Lounge. I've already you're going to do it live from the Smoking Lounge? Definitely buying the Smoking Lounge.
I'm not, because I've already talked to him.
I've turned it into the studio.
Remember the naming rights phase?
It doesn't matter.
Again, what if I just give them money?
Do you think Sling has deeper pockets than Big Cat?
Kind of, yeah.
Yeah, no, they probably do, but what if I gave him cash?
This is my friend from all the way back in my life.
All right?
$2 million.
Yeah, he doesn't give a fuck.
$2 million?
Yeah.
Yeah, you can have it for $2 million.
Wait, you're speaking on his behalf?
I think he would do it for a lot less than that.
I know.
$2,000.
No.
$2,000, he'd be thinking about it.
Yeah.
$3,500.
No.
$3,200.
What are you talking about?
You're going to go down now, Brandon.
No, no.
Are we talking about
you owning the place
or just the naming rights?
I'm just buying it
one time,
naming rights,
99-year lease.
Or until Brandon's
direct bloodline
has all died off.
All right.
If you want to,
there's not a walker inside.
I'll put you on the phone.
We'll feel later.
You can negotiate.
Okay, great.
I look forward to it.
All right.
So you're going to do it live?
Are you changing it too?
You think you're going to hire someone down there?
In Mince?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mince Eli.
The Eli man?
I don't know.
I don't know what.
Are you going to hire someone or bring someone?
I don't know.
What are you thinking about?
I would imagine I would hire somebody from State.
What's happening to Caitlyn?
Nothing.
She's staying here.
She does her own thing.
I haven't talked to Caitlyn in two weeks.
It's like you've completed the end of 310 to Yuma.
You got her on the train.
I got her where she got her to be.
You got her on the train.
I moved her into the city.
I moved her stuff up.
Walk up.
Forced her to move out here and now you're bailing on her?
No.
That's not how it happened at all.
Can we keep Tommy?
Yeah.
That would actually be worth it if Tommy moved in with Nick.
Where are you actually going to live?
You're not living with Nick.
I don't know.
Or Tommy.
I don't know.
Would you live in Brooklyn?
I don't know.
Would you live in Brooklyn?
I'm asking hypothetically.
Coming up.
I probably would not live in Brooklyn.
Why?
I don't think the Walkers would do well in Brooklyn.
Wait, I thought the Walkers weren't coming.
It's just you.
It's going to be the Walker.
Guys, we got a lot to figure out.
We're doing that. We got a lot to figure out. We're doing that.
We got a lot to figure out. We're figuring it out now.
I could have a transient family who has
a home. A trans family? Oh no.
I don't think so, brother.
You guys are thriving, Brooklyn.
Wait, so who's coming and who's going?
Let's rank your family.
We're not doing that.
Splitting them up, I'm assuming.
Yeah.
There's a lot of decisions. A draft. We're not doing that. We're not doing that. Splitting them up, I'm assuming. Yeah. How does custody work?
There's a lot of decisions after that.
A lot of decisions.
You should do a wheel for custody.
Tommy, I hope you enjoy your siblings.
This is the last you'll ever see them.
They're living in Brooklyn now.
He'd thrive in Brooklyn.
I think Tommy would do fine.
If you just dropped him in Brooklyn right now, he'd be like the king of it.
It'd be like Gangs of New York.
All right.
Covered a lot.
Well, I'm excited for you, Brandon Walker.
Talked about money.
Talked about property.
Talked about hoes.
Yeah.
Made a name for yourself.
Yeah.
Proud of you.
Very proud of you.
Thanks.
I'm pissed.
Emotional.
And so this will be your last yak?
This is not my.
I'm not leaving.
I'm not.
This is going to be like when Michael Scott leaves,
like the month of the day before he's supposed to leave.
I'm not leaving.
I'm not going until July.
You're no good at goodbyes, are you, Brandon?
Huh?
You're no good at goodbyes.
I'm not leaving.
Let's just do goodbye right now.
You think you're going to cry when you don't get to see Nick every day?
No, I'm not. I'll be fine.
FaceTime every night.
Brandon's a big Nick guy.
What if Mincy gets to move to Starksville too?
Starksville.
I would quit work at Barstool.
I'm going to try to get that to happen.
You would do well out there.
Let's get a Barstool Starksville.
Yeah.
Starksville, there's no second S.
What did I say?
We're going to change that.
Starksville.
We'll change that as well.
It's just Starkville.
I could pay for the next one.
The name and rights to Starkville.
The mayor of Starkville would be like,
another S in the middle.
If you're getting a big house like that,
you probably have room to lease at least one room to Mincy.
He doesn't have a lot of furniture.
We know that.
At least a guest house.
Mincy needs a headquarters in the south.
What's better than Sarksville?
He's got to have boots on the ground.
All right, I got to go.
You guys could do so much content together out there.
Steven, doesn't your family exploit...
We're here together now.
Yeah, but it would be different down the south.
Property tax loophole, Steven?
What is that one you told me about?
Is this real?
Yeah, his family, yeah, they exploited local legal flaw.
Brandon's got to get out of here before he strikes me.
No, my nuclear family, we all pay our property taxes monthly with the mortgage.
Okay.
Nuclear family?
Correct.
Steven, why'd you kill Scott Hall today?
I didn't kill Scott Hall.
He's not dead yet.
Everyone was tweeting out the RIP.
They said that his family was going to take him off life support.
Can we show Steven's tweet?
Steven killed him and also made his death about him.
I did do that.
The latter.
He killed him.
I can't believe Brandon's leaving.
I can't believe how subtly he dropped that.
Well, I'm going to go on back to the South.
He was like, I'll announce that.
Yeah, just a figure.
Yeah, that was his first.
What do you mean?
He's like, Nick said I was moving in with him.
The guy asked Nick, and Nick said yes.
Look at this.
Ripped to the bad guy, Scott Hall.
Oh, my God.
What a tribute to a guy who hasn't died yet.
Wait, Jay, that rules.
That's an awesome gift.
That's awesome.
It's on life support, and there was a message today.
Oh, you need a preemie rip?
Yeah, Kevin Nash said-
That's so bad shit.
We're going to take him off life support.
But I saw you guys were all doing it.
I didn't say rip.
Jay, that's an awesome gift.
I said he's a legend.
I might say he's an ad. Jay, that's an awesome gif. I said he's a legend. I might say he's a legend.
That's a rule.
Jay, you should actually make all of the famous wrestlers,
like their famous moves in gif form so you can tweet them all when they die.
I'd like him to recreate every used gif, every popular gif,
just have a Che version.
I would use the Che version.
It'd be fun.
A Che tribute to every famous person who dies would be beautiful.
The best is when a super famous person dies and they post the crabs.
The dancing crabs.
You ever seen that one?
No.
What?
No.
You know what I'm talking about?
The dancing lobsters from all that.
What?
The crabs.
What?
What are you talking about?
You've never seen that?
It's like George Bush has passed away and it's just all the dancing.
The crabs are all dancing.
What? You've never seen that? TJ that TJ do you know I'm talking about it's like a Frank Fleming thing
with the uh the crab dance thing yeah yep yeah pull up the pull up the dancing crabs video
you guys really have never seen this no you follow some fuck must be some my son I think
I know you're sorry about It's a song but
And they post it
When people die
Yeah
Yeah it'll be a meme
Like a blank is gone
And it'll be the
Crab
And all the crabs
Will be dancing
Why
It's fucked
Crack some jokes
Just for the purpose
Of cracking jokes
You posted if it was like
Steven J gets divorced
Oh yeah
Okay
Post it with anything
Brandon is not gonna be
Here we go This This is it?
Alright, let's see it. What? Okay.
These are the dancing crabs? Oh, yeah, here they are.
Why? Why?
It'll be like
George Bush has passed away. Why?
I don't get the joke. I don't
either, but I like it. I don't know. One person did it originally
and then everyone started doing it.
Yeah, I like it. That's a treat to me.
Is this only for death or serious injury?
Yeah, usually.
Yeah, it'll be like...
Like they did when Trump got COVID.
Rip Bozo, yeah.
It's the only horrific...
The song's pretty good, too.
I can play it for like two seconds.
Yeah, play it.
Oh, this is good.
Oh, you played it at the worst part.
Rewind it.
Here we go.
Oh, yeah. Okay. That's awesome. rewind it here we go oh yeah okay
that's awesome
so are you gonna do it
for Razor Ramon
hell no
that's not for me to do
someone else will do it
then I throw it a retweet
anyone else think
Brandon's lying
about his time split
yeah
he downplayed it a bunch
all his time in
downplayed it a bunch
I don't know if it's 6 and 6.
It's not. I think it's like
9 and 3.
Oh no.
He's been
You think he did that? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's
good.
Alright, I'm a dancing crab. Yeah, you were very right, Seth. Yeah, that's good. All right. I'm a dancing crab.
Yeah, you were very right, Seth.
Yeah, that was the best.
They did it when George Bush died, and it was awesome.
But is it like a bop?
Do they do it for every death, or do they pick and choose?
They pick and choose.
All right.
Wait, bro.
George Bush died?
The old one.
He did?
I think, right?
That's fucked.
That's a terrible way to hear.
How about fucking Porter going to the hospital and fucking...
Yeah, what was that about?
Thursday.
He went to the hospital.
Yeah.
He's been getting, like, his ribs broken.
Porter's been going through it.
Yeah, his ribs were getting broken and shit.
He did.
He was, like, editing.
He was, like, shooting a video with me.
That's when I know.
And I had to be there.
And he was like, yeah, I just broke my ribs today.
Oh, today?
Like a little bit ago?
He was like shooting the video with the broken ribs, like wincing.
And I was like complaining about like my time being wasted.
I just look like the biggest fucking douchebag.
He's like, yeah, I'm actually physically hurt.
And then he just had to go to the hospital.
Blood all over.
Oh.
He was taken on a wheelchair a couple days ago.
What?
I know, I know.
His foot was covered in blood.
Poor guy.
Poor guy to Brandon, too.
I can't believe we lost a fucking good soldier.
He's gone the way of...
It's a damn shame.
Holy and he who must not be named.
Do you guys know Spittin' Chicklets has, like, a street team?
Yeah. I did not know that. They were at know Spittin' Chicklets has a street team? Yeah.
I did not know that.
They were at a bar I was at in Telluride.
I was very confused.
They were giving away Pink Whitney's.
They were giving away everything.
You're like, I know.
I work for Barstool.
Nah.
Good in.
Nah.
I was like, damn.
You were at a bar?
How?
I was like, what's this?
What?
How were you at a bar?
With 18 up.
DC's.
Were you drinking?
DC's only.
Still got a couple weeks to go, buddy.
I know.
Are you very excited?
Kind of.
Yeah.
Why wouldn't you be?
It's a big birthday.
I quit drinking.
Oh. He drank all weekend. Your birthday party's going to be the best yak ever. No, it's going to be's a big birthday. I quit drinking. No.
Your birthday party's going to be the best yak ever.
No, it's going to be awesome.
No, it cannot.
Wait, so are we doing it on Tuesday?
No, we're going to do it on that Friday.
That's so lame.
Why?
It's not going to be my birthday anymore.
We're going to be in New Orleans.
Come back a day earlier.
I can't.
The National Championship.
The National Championship.
Why is it New Orleans?
This is going to be way bigger than the National Championship.
No, Friday's when we get loose anyway.
Is it a case of beer?
We have to decide the actual rules.
I think it should be like a case race where it's like, or like a crate race rather.
So it's like a certain amount of beer, a certain amount of wine, a certain amount of like liquor.
Oh, I would be much better at that.
We used to do like a running of the balls.
Where you go like type of alcohol by type of alcohol.
What do you mean?
We're going to have to.
Like you got to finish a bag of wine and then the case of beers.
Oh, jeez.
In the bottle.
I feel like it should be teams and everyone's just on their own time.
So we can have like KB, our vodka specialist or whatever.
We're going to do a teams of two case race and the yak doesn't end until someone wins.
So 15 and 15.
15 and 15.
Can we draft people from other teams?
No, it's got to be yak only.
I know Doug's can casually put down
like 15.
He did on Friday Night Pints.
He's not even buzzed.
Puts down 15 and drives to work in the morning.
Drives his Uber.
Picks people up.
Drives Uber pool.
Does Uber pool still exist?
No, I think that ended with COVID.
Damn.
I miss it.
I already miss it.
Yeah.
I took an Uber pool one time in my life
and it was in Boston
and it was with these girls
from like
BU or something
I was visiting BC
and I remember
just being pissed
when they got out
at their stop
like they didn't
stay with you
yeah
I was like
that's how my mind
works the same way
they're just gonna get out
yeah
alright
I guess I'm unwanted
here I come with.
There was no conversation when they got out.
They just left.
Yeah.
Yeah, that would piss me off.
Still to this day, you probably deal with it.
Are you going to the first round Providence game?
Is it Buffalo?
I am not.
My parents are going.
Nice.
Yeah.
Should do a bracket tomorrow.
I think we advance all the top four seeds in each round one game,
and then we do the wheel.
And then maybe someone will win, submit the yak bracket,
and maybe you'll win your pool.
Yes.
Please have fun when you do it.
I'm not going to be here.
So it's just going to be the five of you.
What's your schedule the next couple weeks? I'm not going to be here. We're not doing to be the five of you. What's your schedule next couple weeks?
I'm not going to be here. We're not doing a show Thursday
and Friday because it's March Madness.
Then I'll be back.
Then I'll be gone.
Then I'll be back.
You're going to be gone after that?
We got no Yak Thursday, Friday.
That's a pretty clear schedule.
Back to Colorado, huh?
It goes directly against March Madness.
It's like we're streaming.
So I'll be back all next week,
and then the following week I have to go to New Orleans
Friday and Monday for National Championship.
Yep.
And then Sass' birthday on that Friday.
It's actually on Tuesday.
Well, no.
We're not going to do this.
You don't get to decide when your birthday is.
It's a bummer.
I guess we'll just play some video games on Tuesday.
Make it easy.
Want to buy you a video game for your birthday?
You should.
I've been asking him what he wants.
We're going to get him the Elder Ring.
My mom gave up Barstool for Lent.
What?
Dad's been in a very healthy relationship lately.
So she's just not watching this right now?
Any consumption of anything Barstool.
She's a very religious woman.
Very religious.
She would never fall back on her Lenten promise.
Would she re-watch?
I could do whatever.
Would she re-watch, though?
Yeah, but it might be hard to find an old yak.
Say something you've always wanted to.
What is the easiest thing ever?
Well, if I say something at the 50-minute mark
on an episode from four weeks ago,
I'll probably get away with it.
So, TJ, can you start making notes
every time KB says something sus?
Say something.
Get something off your chest.
Unburden yourself.
Say some sus shit.
No, tomorrow, tomorrow.
Yeah? Yeah. Talk about such shit. Tomorrow, tomorrow. Yeah?
Yeah.
Talk about the existence of a higher power.
Yeah, or just like pussy.
That's what I meant.
Getting pussy and stuff.
Highest power.
You used to talk about ass, and now you can.
Yeah.
If that pussy's fat, KB's going to.
Maybe like some
Fat ass
Damp lips
That pussy
My number one is actually
Carly Rae Jepsen
What?
It's not so much
A physical thing
Her?
Didn't she
She had a sex tape
No she didn't
She's
Like blue hair
Now right
Switches it up
I've seen it on TikTok
I'm
Yeah
I'm with you
Oh
You're still doing that.
How?
It was all the way over here.
She's transient or whatever?
I wouldn't say.
You wouldn't say if she was?
Yeah, I wouldn't let you know.
I would not let you know that.
Damn.
All right.
All right.
Great show.
See everyone tomorrow.
Great show.
See you boys Great show Big announcements
Steven Che is also back
I'm going to need some space
Okay
Oh god
Even the way he says that
It's terrible
See you tomorrow
Thank you. Bye.