The Yak - Brandon's Back and So Is Rasslin' | The Yak 7-15-24

Episode Date: July 15, 2024

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up. Hello, we're back. Yak. Promo code yak. 20% off first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com.
Starting point is 00:00:38 Promo code yak. Go right now. Stephen Che is back. Fuck yes. Stephen. Stephen. Stephen. Thanks, guys. Stephen Che is back! Oh yeah! Fuck yes! Stephen! Stephen! Stephen! Thanks guys. Thanks guys, excited to be back. Did you guys see Stephen on his fucking thing last night?
Starting point is 00:00:53 With Chuck? He's on a heater. I forgot that his brain had flipped. So I took it as literal. Yeah. And TJ, did you see it? This is funny Stephen though. This is funny Stephen. I mean, look at his it? This is funny Steven, though. This is funny Steven. I mean, look at his outfit.
Starting point is 00:01:07 That's a funny guy. We had a tornado warning last night, and it was like crazy weather. And Chuck said, sky is crazy in Chicago right now. And Steven said, they're definitely on the right path with Reese and Cardoza. I wouldn't say crazy, though. 9 for 14, 8th in the 12-team league. That was Steven doing a joke. That's so good, Steven.
Starting point is 00:01:28 That was Steven doing a joke. Thanks, guys. That was pretty quick, too. Did you even, like, it just came right to you, like sarcasm? Well, when I think about the sky, if somebody says the sky, that is what I think about. No, you don't. Think about the WNBA team before the sky.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Yeah, I've been betting WNBA. I love Angel Reese. Yeah, I'm a big Chicago Sky fan. So you think of the sky right away, not the actual sky. Not the Earth's sky. What's anybody talking to me about the sky about? If we walked outside and I said, look at the sky, you would Google pictures of a women's basketball team? That would be the first thing I would think about. Look at the clouds. That's great. Look at the sky. You would Google pictures of a women's basketball team?
Starting point is 00:02:05 That would be the first thing I would think about. Look at the clouds. That's not rain. Look at the sun. Oh, it's sunny out. Oh, it's overcast. It's cloudy. Who's talking like that?
Starting point is 00:02:13 Looks like it's about to rain. Who's talking like that? People from small town stand here. Everybody. There's a tornado warning that took off. Default small talk. Shout out to the one guy that alerted me of the tornado warning. I had no idea.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Are you talking about the government with the phone? Oh, I didn't get one of those. Oh. Steven's off the grid. I was doing, like, fantasy stuff for this week. And, yeah, it was on my laptop. When you hear sun, do you think of the Connecticut sun? I'm not really a Dewana Bonner guy, so no.
Starting point is 00:02:39 What? Dewana Bonner. What did you say, Steven? Dewana Bonner. A prolific power forward for the Connecticut Sun. When your kid says, Daddy, I think I have a fever, do you say, No, that's Indiana. I'm not a fever fan. I'm a sky fan.
Starting point is 00:02:59 I don't think that's crazy. I didn't know there was a thing until very late. So, yeah. Nope. Okay, so Trump got hit by a bullet. You think Elvin Hayes hit him? I also got duped because the Yak tweeted something that was like, we'll remember July 13th for this day.
Starting point is 00:03:18 And it was like Zaha catching the Joe Montana peanut M&M. And then I retweeted it, and then people got mad at me. Wait, I retweeted it too. It was a funny joke. I know, but I retweeted it because I was like, oh, sick. This is the anniversary of that. Yeah, but why would... I retweeted it, and no one got mad at me. Do you think people knew your intention
Starting point is 00:03:38 of retweet? That you didn't know that Trump almost got assassinated? I knew he did, but I guess why am I commenting on that? Nobody's asking me about that. Got it. Well, you look good with your Hawaiian. You came back.
Starting point is 00:03:49 Still on vacation. Still on vacation, yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Happy to be back. Feeling good. Did you pull any pranks or gags or jokes? I mean, yeah, I guess.
Starting point is 00:04:03 We talked about it on the show. Like, yeah, I may have. I didn't know Dick Vitale had cancer. Again. Oh, we know this. But yeah, no, nothing recently. I got pretty sunburned, though. So there's that.
Starting point is 00:04:15 Anyone that talks about sunburn, like, definitely didn't have it as bad as me. Oh, really? Like, someone who went to the hospital? Yeah. I mean, I had a pretty... That's a crazy statement to make, Stephen. Well, just like, yeah. I just want to own the Sunburn Market on this show.
Starting point is 00:04:33 Okay, alright. He's got it. I don't think he... I gotta say, I think taking a week off after having the week off was a good move, Stephen. You came back refreshed. We gotta see a little bit of you while you're away. It was a good move, Steven. I think this, like, you came back refreshed. We gotta see a little bit of you while you're away. I brought gifts.
Starting point is 00:04:48 It was a smart thing. I applaud your thinking. I think it made us want more Che. How, yes, Steven, how is the fantasy, like, going? You said you're getting prepped? It's early. Yeah, I mean, yeah, we got stuff today,
Starting point is 00:05:04 we got stuff tomorrow, so, yeah, DraftKings Best Bowl. I mean, we got to read for it today in the show. And, yeah, it's early July, which means we got to get going. You know it. Early July, guys. I have a gift for every one of y'all. That was a good, it's early July. Kate, do you want your gift?
Starting point is 00:05:20 I had a super crazy day the other day. Like summertime, sunburn time thing. Every Chicago community pool is all over the place. Right here. And I hadn't taken my son yet because I haven't gotten him swim lessons yet. They're like always booked solid. But my neighbor and her toddler were like, come with us. Like strengthen numbers. So I take him to the pool.
Starting point is 00:05:38 I'm holding him the entire time. But he's like, he's like gulping the water down. Like you can't drink the water. And it was hot here on Saturday. It was like the pool was jam-packed, a million people. He's all of a sudden, he's like, up in the water down like you can't drink the water and it was hot here on saturday there was like the pool was jam-packed a million people he's all of a sudden he's like i feel cold and the pool was warm it was warm out so i was like okay go up the ladder buddy he goes up the ladder turns around right back at the pool and explodes oh because he drank so much water and he had just oh into the pool it shut down the pool well so then immediately i freeze
Starting point is 00:06:07 i'm an i'm already anxious as it is and i like i'm like did everybody see that and everybody saw it and i look at the lifeguards and they're like frozen and i'm like what do i do do you guys need anything else for me and i've been we we dipped out oh what did you punish him i would have made him run laps i would have made him eat laps. I would have made him eat puke. He's got to eat throw up. It's like catching a kid smoking a cigarette. You have to make him drink the whole thing. That's right.
Starting point is 00:06:30 I went over to the lifeguard, and it was like, because we had eaten lunch beforehand, too. Chef Boyardee mini-restaurant. Oh, no. I know. And it was like splattering. And it was right at the ladder where everybody would have had to go down. And I like melted. My body just go. And I, like, melted. My body just disappeared.
Starting point is 00:06:47 And you fled. Into the ether. And I don't even know if I'm here right now. That's crazy. I got you this Mississippi State alumni shirt that you've been doing with the alumni. Wait, wait. Che, are you going to play NCAA today? I was never an NCAA player.
Starting point is 00:07:02 You should still get on the sticks. I was a Madden guy. Here, Big Cat. If you need me, I'll help sticks. I was a Madden guy. Here, Big Cat. If you need me, I'll help out. Here's your state championship ring. That'll be good. Kate, I know you're a big – you love America, so I got you this. And big festive gatherings.
Starting point is 00:07:14 So I got you this 48-star flag. It's very rare. All right, fine. He's going to be a fucking dick about it. Hey, Brandon. What's up? The gifts look nice. They look really nice.
Starting point is 00:07:22 We're in. We're in. All right. All right. Just a little – Where's your gifts? We're doing a new guy hazing. We're in. All right. We're doing the home run thing. What home run thing? Where you hit your first home run and no one talks to you. That's what we were doing. Yeah, your first day back.
Starting point is 00:07:34 And then you just made it annoying. Sorry. Here's your gift. We missed you, Brandon. We missed you a lot. This is sick. Thank you very much. Go slowly.
Starting point is 00:07:43 Go slowly. I've been doing it for 15 fucking minutes. No, you very much. Go slowly. Go slowly. I've been doing it for 15 fucking minutes. No, you haven't. Go slowly. This is West Point State Championship ring. This thing is fucking sick. Now, it says on the side. Big cat.
Starting point is 00:07:59 History. History. Well, there's a two. 12. Hit 12 to remade. It. Hit 12 Tourie made. It's our 12th state championship. Can you read that? It's our 12th state championship.
Starting point is 00:08:11 Do they know? I can't read that. Do they know that the numbers aren't supposed to go in the word? The one is an I and the two is an S in this scenario. Can I see it? Hit 12 Tourie made. Classic Mississippi. So, wait, were you there when they got them and saw them for the first time?
Starting point is 00:08:22 That's hit 12 Tourie made. No. Yeah, the two just doesn't resonate. I got you. Zoom in. It's a parade flag from the 1940s. It's a 48-star flag. No way.
Starting point is 00:08:31 I thought you might, because I know you like parades in America. I do. I'm a fan. Oh, your name's- Oh, don't let it touch the ground. Brandon. Sheesh. You almost cursed America.
Starting point is 00:08:40 We're doing so good. 12 to remade. These are nice. Wait, where did you get this from? I was manteaking. No way. In Orange Beach? That doesn't work.
Starting point is 00:08:50 Oh, shit. Who gets the next one? 12 to remake. Can you send this back and get mine to say history? No, because it says we won 12 state championships. Oh, look at the fringe on this. That actually works perfectly. No, because when Jeter did Respect, the 2
Starting point is 00:09:05 was an E. Yeah. But this is an S. I think it's actually supposed to be a Z. That's an S and a 1? His 12-3? Mook, I know you like to make sweet love to women, and when you get them back
Starting point is 00:09:22 to your apartment, you're going to want them to Yes! Thank you, Greg. Wow. Look at the quality. love to women and when you get them back to your apartment you're going to want them to yes thank you Greg wow look at the quality that's a really good print did you feel that's beautiful thank you Brandon are you feeling shame is this why you're giving us gifts
Starting point is 00:09:37 and Kyle you've been talking is it what I think it is it's not I couldn't get it I have them all saved then so I just thought for Piper Jones room room, when Halloween's coming up, you can just put this. Oh. Oh. And I saw it and I was like, well, that's Piper Jones.
Starting point is 00:09:52 All right. Good. And when she gets in the festive spirit for Halloween. That's a good piece. I don't know if you know, but Piper Jones' room is actually an aquarium. Yeah, we keep it. Kyle keeps it. Yeah, she lives in an aquarium.
Starting point is 00:10:02 So I hope this can get wet. That's a good piece. Thank you. You paid $60 for this can get wet. That's a good piece. Thank you. You paid $60 for this. I know. Titus, I have three gifts for you. Oh, three gifts for Titus? Is this because you're feeling a little guilty?
Starting point is 00:10:15 By the way, can you show TJ, can you show them what they're doing out there real quick? I'm in a lot of pain, just want to say. What are you working out? Look at this. Oh. It's this new machine that is a sponsor. It's these German dudes that created these body suits that send electric vibrations through your body.
Starting point is 00:10:34 Oh, my God. And it was like the hardest workout I've ever done. So what do the vibrations do? It's like tension. It's like, so you're like pushing and it's hard to do. That's cool. And they're German, it's hard to do. That's cool. And they're German, which is awesome. Okay, that's okay.
Starting point is 00:10:49 You don't have to show them anymore. Kyle, the thing that you think I was getting you is on the way. Oh, God. And I had to get that replaced. Yeah, that was a fill-in. That was the worst gift. Yeah, by far. But I can't wait for what you got coming.
Starting point is 00:11:02 Titus, I got you three gifts, and they're all for your Dale Earnhardt collection on the Mostly Sports desk. You got him three gifts? You have a beanie, baby. Don't touch the ground. Don't let it touch. Yeah, that's it.
Starting point is 00:11:11 You have a... Wait. Hold on a second. What? Dual-sided. Hold on a second. What? Wait, I got two faces?
Starting point is 00:11:17 You got two faces. I've never seen anything like that. That is sick. Is that a monstrosity? Was that made like that? Everyone got a gift. Wow. Yeah, you paid for yours. Yeah, I made like that? Everyone got a gift. Wow. Yeah, you paid for yours.
Starting point is 00:11:26 Yeah, I paid $2,000 for my gift. Yeah, you sure did. That's great. Where's my regular gift? Yours is the most valuable gift. How much are these? I don't know. Ooh, that's a nice sound.
Starting point is 00:11:37 Yeah. So I got you a bunch of Dale Earnhardt memorabilia. That's a great song. That's the good stuff right there. And TJ, I got you M&M's M&M's and a jukebox Nope I do
Starting point is 00:11:50 No Yes Nah I'm not gonna do that to Teej You're missing a couple people Basically our only minorities So Che You've just taken out both of our minorities. Che, I've never liked or respected you,
Starting point is 00:12:08 and Zah, I'm just a massive racist. Oh, okay. Damn. I didn't know what to get, Zah. I gave you the, what's it called? The slingshots for your kids. Oh my God. Wow. That's tough.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Zah, I didn't really go get gifts. I just had all this stuff. You had all this at home Well everything but the American flag The picture of yourself yes It even smells like a You look like old Betsy Ross over there Is that who she was She made the flags
Starting point is 00:12:38 Alright do you think she was pretty or no I'm going no I'm going to go ugliest Ugliest fuck No I don't think You think she was pretty or no? I'm going no. I'm going to go ugliest. I'm going heinous. She's like a... Ugly as fuck? No, I don't think. Yeah, but was she 1,700? She was young.
Starting point is 00:12:49 Oh, was she young? Was she not young? Was she 1,700? At one point? I'll say seven beers. Okay, let's figure it out. All right. I think she had a little meat on her cheeks.
Starting point is 00:12:57 It's a segment we're doing if historical women are ugly or not. I'm going to say no beers but ugly. Almost all of them are, right? Yeah. A lot of them are. Oh, you weren't here oh that's a pink yo she's got some chest yeah that's pretty goddamn good wait wait how old is she from beauty i would yes yes that's zero beers zero beers speaking of i have a huge crush hey were you not here when we did uh we did the history of women i've we don't know anyone i may have just blacked out no i think you were not here
Starting point is 00:13:32 we might have been ignoring her yeah that could be it sally field agatha christie you did i was here when you did some author auntie annie's that right. All the historical women. I miss that. Please run it back. We'll have one tomorrow, I'm sure. As chaps went around the office, this Philly history, asking what the most iconic American photograph is. Everybody had a great one,
Starting point is 00:14:00 and Mincy said the Liberty Bell. Is the photograph. The most iconic American photograph. Of Philly? Of just American history of all time. A photo of the Liberty Bell? When you go to Philly and you go to that part, that old part. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:16 There's always a line of people to see the Liberty Bell. Yeah. If you walk around the back, there's a window where you can. You just go right up to the glass. You can just look in the window and see the Liberty Bell. What a hack. But can you see the crack? Everyone see the crack. Why does everybody stand in line when you can just see it? Because they touch it. You want to see the crack? You can touch the Liberty Bell? I don't feel like you should be able to touch the Liberty Bell. You're not supposed to, but you can touch the crack.
Starting point is 00:14:35 You can swipe your hand at the crack real quick. What is the lore of the Liberty Bell? I think it's a bell that cracked. It just cracked. Was the crack an inside job to make it historic? If it doesn't crack, do we crack an inside job to make it historic? No, it's a bell that didn't work. If it doesn't crack, do we give a fuck about it? It's a broken bell. People in Philly love crack. Yeah. Are there bigger bells? Almost certainly bigger bells. Is that even a big bell?
Starting point is 00:14:56 It's not that big in person. It's big, but it's not that big. It cracked on its first fucking ring? It was a bad bell. Bad bell. That's an embarrassing one. How many other bells have cracked and we just threw them away? Wait, this is essentially,
Starting point is 00:15:11 we're celebrating an alarm clock. That's bean tier. It's early years the bell was used to summon lawmakers to legislative sessions. This sucks. Yeah, that's what I mean. I thought the bell was like the, I grew up thinking it was like
Starting point is 00:15:22 the Paul Revere bell or something. Yeah, like a party. We're free. Yeah, we did it. We killed them. That was like., I grew up thinking it was like the Paul Revere bell or something. Yeah, like a party. Like, we're free. Yeah, we did it. We killed him. Like, that was like. No, it was an alarm clock. Yeah, it's like a gong.
Starting point is 00:15:31 Hmm. Nobody even knows when it cracked. The crack's not even that important. How is that possible? Yeah, this is. I think it came pre-cracked. It's three feet wide. 3.8 feet.
Starting point is 00:15:40 Hmm. Hmm. You guys like this? Never mind. Sound of a bell? Sound of a bell. Yeah. What's the best use of it?
Starting point is 00:15:48 Not the most iconic. Church bells are cool. The old ladies with the white clothes. Oh, and they did the Avicii. Oh, yeah. Church bells in a town square. Tacos. Yeah, tacos.
Starting point is 00:15:56 In a small French town square. That's a warm feeling. That's a nice feeling. On Christmas Eve. Mm-hmm. Did you see people were trying to say the old Taco Bell logo is satanic? No.
Starting point is 00:16:06 Yeah. Didn't know that. What? It said the bell, it looks like a serpent's eye and there's a six around it. I see a lot of 90s Taco Bell images used for nostalgic purposes. We didn't know how good we had it back then. We didn't. When you say used, you're the one doing that, right?
Starting point is 00:16:22 I don't lean on nostalgia for content. What are you doing later today? What are you doing later today? Listen, nostalgia is a great drug. It is, yeah. It's my favorite drug. Brandon, how was vacation? Did Tommy do anything fucking awesome?
Starting point is 00:16:39 Well, first of all, we owe Tommy a day because I told him he could come in for his birthday and we are obviously still on vacation. So he's going to come in this Friday, I think. Tommy had a great time. All he wanted to do for his birthday was go to Dave & Buster's. Fuck yes. So we went to Dave & Buster's on Saturday. I spent $300 for him and his brothers. Fuck yes.
Starting point is 00:16:58 To just go around Dave & Buster's for three hours. You know how much playing you can get done at Dave & Buster's in three hours? What a ball. And what was the prize? They ended up with some little trinkets. The break almost immediately. No, Tommy got enough tickets and he got a replacement
Starting point is 00:17:16 keyboard for his computer. He actually went shopping at Dave & Buster's. But we went to Gulf Shores for a week. We were on the beach. And then I asked my wife, do you want to go to Mississippi for a week? We were on the beach, and then I asked my wife, do you want to go to Mississippi for a week? She said yes. Oh, it was your idea?
Starting point is 00:17:28 It was my idea to get brownie points with my wife, and I'll be like, hey. If you told it to us, your wife made you. She wanted to go. If she said no, he would have been back. Correct. If you had never said anything. I knew she wanted to.
Starting point is 00:17:43 See, my sister and mom were down there on our vacation. They were down in Gulf Shores with us. But her mom was back in Mississippi, and she wanted to see her mom. Got it. So I was like, yeah, we'll go up to your mom's place for a couple days, and then we ended up going to my mom's place a couple days. So it was nice to be back in Mississippi. Does the – no, I'm not going to say it.
Starting point is 00:18:03 What would you even say there? What prompted I give you out of that innocent conversation? I think he was going to ask if her mom is also stacked. Yeah, I was going to say is the apple fall far from the tree, so to speak. How did you know he was going to ask that? That's what everybody thought, I think. Telepathy. Even you?
Starting point is 00:18:20 I was absolutely thinking about it. She does, right? It's all good. Nice. Kyle, I apologize. You got a bad gift. It's a styrofoam black cat. But it's Piper Jones.
Starting point is 00:18:33 You won't break it. Piper Jones. I held it up. I don't know. I mean, you texting me throughout the week was a gift in itself. Yeah, it was one of my favorite things, too. I mean, it was a big week for high schools. Big week for guys who love high school. Oh, the logo
Starting point is 00:18:48 maps. The county logo maps. Oh my, I was drooling. I like maps, I like counties, I like high school. Yeah, my three, one of my, yeah, top three. Everything came together and it was one state, it was a state by state. Oh my God. Yeah, you zoomed in and you said, is this one yours? Texas was
Starting point is 00:19:03 the cleanest. Texas is incredible. Oh, my God. What they did with Texas. It's also so funny how high schools just steal logos. Yeah. So many stole logos. No copyright problems. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:14 I hate it. Have we ran out of logo ideas? There's no fresh logos. They didn't really try to get to the end of the logo list. They just said, early on, we're just going to copy and steal logos. We're going to run back the line. Yeah, they didn't really try to get to the end of the logo list. They just said early on, we're just going to copy and steal a logo. We're going to run back the line. They didn't even try to. We've hardly touched sea creatures when it comes to mascots.
Starting point is 00:19:30 There's so many animals. That's the favorite animal of most kids. Octopi. Yeah. Hippopotamus. Imagine an octopus football helmet with the octopi. Hippos. Wolverines, but with tentacles.
Starting point is 00:19:42 Yeah. Dinosaurs. Oh, yeah. There's so much out there we haven't done. We just go Bulldogs, Cougars, Eagles. Tigers. Wildcats. Wildcats.
Starting point is 00:19:52 Wildcats is the worst. Wildcats is the worst name. Rawr. How do you root for that? Go Wildcats. I imagine is what you'd say. Bulldogs sounds cooler than it actually is too Bulldog
Starting point is 00:20:07 The word bulldog sounds tough But like You meet a bulldog They're just kind of like fat And that's not Slobby Yeah Kind of gross
Starting point is 00:20:14 And here come the bulldogs Yeah They're like pugs Yeah They're kind of limp Yeah they're grown up pugs Yeah Every school does Bulldogs.
Starting point is 00:20:25 Yeah. So that was crazy when Trump almost got shot. Yeah. Yeah, it was like I was in a fever train. I got to break the news to a bunch of people. You did? Same. Someone did it to me, and it was the best.
Starting point is 00:20:40 What a thrill. What a thrill. What a thrill. Yeah. I was like three hours late to it. Really? Wow. I was playing Mario Kart. I was having. What a thrill. Yeah. I was like three hours late to it. Really? I was playing Mario Kart. I was having my weekend by myself.
Starting point is 00:20:49 Nice. Yeah, phone was on the other side of the room. It got old after three hours. Yeah. Surprisingly. So I kind of missed the whole thing. The whole initial wave of like what the fuck. Yeah, the internet, no pun intended, emptied the clip very quickly.
Starting point is 00:21:00 Very fast. Very quickly. It's already over. Yeah. Yeah. There's some free likes out there on saturday though oh yeah people were cash you just had to go pick them up oh yeah stacking likes i want to pick some up it was basically like it was basically like trump was sonic and he got hit with in the coins just went everywhere yeah they were just likes I almost relapsed
Starting point is 00:21:25 I was like Damn good 100k Yeah 100k in an hour Tommy went fucking viral He had the worst Phrase tweet ever
Starting point is 00:21:34 It was so poorly written It was so poorly written Of all time Of all time He was tired from being The celebrity The Steeler celebrity Softball game
Starting point is 00:21:41 So I'll give him some credit Him and Marty Mush Yeah That was crazy though I also I don't want to The Steeler celebrity softball game. Yeah, that's true. Him and Marty Mush. Yeah. That was crazy, though. I also, I don't want to... Look, trying to... Wait, go up. Trying to jail and then kill Trump
Starting point is 00:21:53 and just giving him the two hardest pictures of all time, his biggest backfire of all time. That's what stinks. 216,000. 13 million views. Oh, my God. I feel like it was an inside job No way No I've been awoken
Starting point is 00:22:13 And I just don't trust anything anymore Did you read or watch something I thought it before I even Read anything There are people saying it's the greatest clip farm of all time Oh okay The guy Was a 20 year old who had no social media read anything there are people saying it's the greatest clip farm of all time i oh okay the guy what the guy is was a 20 year old who had no social media and was somehow apolitical huh
Starting point is 00:22:31 i mean you don't shoot a president if you're apolitical right i don't know it was a guy that died i know it was very sad i'm saying i feel like if it's an inside job you don't aim for the ear that's pretty close to the fucking brain yeah maybe right next door is the cia washed yes they can't even pull an assassination anymore yeah maybe i'm too uh maybe i'm too it was uh christmas for doug winoy oh try to take the guy out yeah he's having fun yeah he was they didn't arrest the dudes in my apartment yeah they got away that makes no sense wait yeah it's like five hours of a standoff and they got a SWAT team and they haven't been arrested so are they still in there can't be then how did they get out? I don't know. And there's no articles about it.
Starting point is 00:23:27 They were cornered on the ninth floor with helicopters outside. I don't know. That's freaky. Yeah. Do they have the wrong guys? I don't know. What if it's just a big misunderstanding? And that's how it all got sorted out.
Starting point is 00:23:43 That's crazy. You'd think they'd update the building though Like hey nothing to worry about But now you're all just wondering No that's interesting Yeah and you got an alarm last night too Yeah for the tornado Yeah the tornado There was an earthquake right south of the city
Starting point is 00:24:00 And then there was an earthquake When was the earthquake? Last night Also at midnight lightning here There's this guy photographer I follow And then there was an earthquake. When was the earthquake? Last night. Also, at midnight, lightning here. There's this guy, photographer, I follow, Barry Butler. Every time it storms in Chicago, he goes on his roof and gets his awesome. Right at midnight, lightning struck the Trump Tower.
Starting point is 00:24:17 We also had a triple strike, I think. It was a triple strike. It was a triple strike. Can you find the picture? That triple strike. Wait, Barry Butler. Butler is where Trump got shot. Butler, home to the golden tornadoes. Wait, Barry Butler. Yeah. Butler is where Trump got shot. Oh, my God. Home to the golden tornadoes.
Starting point is 00:24:28 Oh. Oh. Holy shit. Fuck. Damn. Oh, my God. Bad Mata. All right, I'm flipping.
Starting point is 00:24:34 Oh, that's the coolest photo ever. Triple strike. Holy shit. Yeah, triple strike's pretty bad. I have to flip. It was inside. The pieces all just fell together. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:44 This goes all the way to the top. By the way, I'm saying when I say that it was an inside job, obviously I think it was real, but I think it was the government trying to take Trump out. I'm starting to sound like Jerry. Yeah. But I can't deny the feelings I have. Have you talked to Jerry about it?
Starting point is 00:25:00 I have not because I think we'll just agree on everything. There's the big time Republicans that don't like it. Like Dick Cheney hates him and he... He is the guy who the deep state can't control him. That's crazy. No, but there are people with the take that think that Trump set that up. No, I don't think that. There are. I'm just saying. I don't think
Starting point is 00:25:18 the government is trying to kill him. Yeah. Who knows? And when it comes to CIA, you can't be like oh, they would never. If I could guarantee surviving... They kind of will they kind of yeah they do all the time they want right if i could guarantee surviving a gunshot for a photo at like that afterwards i would take it a hundred times out of 100 i did laugh when people were like trump just lost a lot of voters getting pierced in his gay year oh no yeah Left is right. Right is wrong. That was a pretty funny one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:47 Crazy weekend. Richard Simmons. Just poor Richard Simmons. He was dead. He's been dead for five years. Is he more dead, gay, or freaky? No, but he's actually dead. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:57 Yeah. But he died right before the assassination. Freaky gay dead in order. I'm going to go for gay freaky dead. I think he's gay freaky dead. I think he's dead freaky gay. You think he'm gonna go for gay freaky dead i think he's gay freaky gay freaky dead i think he's dead freaky gay you think he's dead the most yeah i think he's already if you had to describe richard simmons in one word you'd say gay or dead i'd say freaky freaky freaky oh my god freaky dead gay we'd have to have the funeral before gay is number one
Starting point is 00:26:20 freaky dead dead is number one that's my final answer i think we gotta re-kill him yeah yeah we got he deserves like his own moment yeah yeah i want to know if his manager now who's getting all his money is uh his housemate his housemate yeah she's the one who's been accused of like brainwashing him and keeping him in house for the last so i'm saying the guy had like how much money you think yeah probably not not had probably not or like 500 million it's either very small 500,000 or 500 million I think he's either in debt or yeah
Starting point is 00:26:52 how old was he he was only like 74 or something like that maybe but he had been like almost dead for so long and then he died and it was like an hour before the assassination attempt. And it was just like.
Starting point is 00:27:06 Yeah. And Shannon Dougherty, too. All that fitness was for nothing. Wow. What does it mean? He made $20 million. Maybe. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:27:16 But maybe not. Crazy weekend. Shannon Dougherty died. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who? The Shining.
Starting point is 00:27:24 90210. 90210. She was like the bully. Oh, the Shining Girl died. The Shining Girl died, Yeah. Who? The Shining. 90210. 90210. She was like the bully. Oh, the Shining Girl died. The Shining Girl died too. What? Shelley Duvall. Duvall.
Starting point is 00:27:31 Oh, yeah. So did Jacoby Jones. Yeah, sucks. Wait, what? Jacoby Jones died. Yeah. Oh, that's fucked up. And Monty Kiffin.
Starting point is 00:27:39 Yeah. Yeah. Who else has died? Just a huge weekend for death. It sucked. Yeah. I almost kind of feel died? Just a huge weekend for death. It sucked. Yeah. I almost kind of feel left out. So much going on.
Starting point is 00:27:49 Like the soccer game. I didn't even know what was up with that. Yeah. They were just going crazy. They snuck in through the vents. There were tits aplenty. You just care more. Where were they going through the vents?
Starting point is 00:28:00 In the stadium, I think. What was the end? Where were they coming out? Maybe they were going to get to play in the game. Oh, yeah, end where were they coming out maybe they were gonna get to play in the game oh yeah maybe it's like uh it's like a mario tunnel what stadium was that hard rock where uh miami oh maybe okay how did all the escalators break i think people crushed them crushed them crushed them yeah like surged too many people they made a glass oh by the way dave he alluded to this in the run down if you want to see breaking news
Starting point is 00:28:26 Dave just posted it Breaking news Play the music TJ And then show it This is a big Someone might be going to jail The NHL caught Nikki Smoke selling illegal merch in the streets of Florida
Starting point is 00:28:43 And now they want him arrested Parentheses my interpretation Gave him the chick spelling The NHL caught Nicky Smokes selling illegal merch in the streets of Florida, and now they want him arrested. Huh. Parentheses my interpreter. Gave him the chick spelling. Yeah, Nicky Smokes is spelled like that. That's something. Why does that spelling turn me on?
Starting point is 00:29:01 Dave didn't do that on purpose, but it's so mean. That is sexy. That's sexy as fuck. Wait wait so what's the story i think he sold it to the nhl and now he's this would be so funny if our investigators have confirmed that not withstanding our correspondence your client proceeded with its plans to market and sell and did in fact market and sell the counterfeit florida champions t-shirts which prominently featured the florida panthers registered palm, tree, and stick. These sales took place between June 28th and June 30th at various locations in Fort Lauderdale. So they're now suing us.
Starting point is 00:29:33 So Dave just comes out the winner. Of course. Wow. He's going to jail. But Dave sent him the shirts? Listen, he didn't tell him how to sell him he sold him counterfeit shirts should have seen that one coming so nikki smokes is his job in jeopardy i would say so damn he was freaking out i said there's probably there's only like a 47 percent
Starting point is 00:30:00 chance he gets like maybe 37 maybe 37 he's good at the college football game so is he to keep him around yeah is he good really yeah excited brandon how's i am can't wait awesome it's awesome i played it last night almost everyone in this room was supportive of that um which i appreciate i was watching of that, which I appreciate. I was watching. Yeah. Appreciate that. Well, I appreciate you letting me have the copy when you were done. Yep.
Starting point is 00:30:31 Almost everyone was supportive. But yeah, it was an awesome game. Awesome game. It looks awesome. Yeah. And also... All the strength I have watched. Almost everyone didn't complain about me getting to play
Starting point is 00:30:46 the game 12 hours early almost everyone not doing this not gonna do it what are you talking about i'm not doing it almost everyone why don't you just ask for a copy if you got the copy last night from big cat would you have skipped work today i thought about skipping work anyway really there was about a five minute period this morning between 5.55 and 6 where I said you know, they're already pissed I missed a week. What's one more day? What's one more day? Which would have turned into two more days.
Starting point is 00:31:14 So we're not going to see you tomorrow? I decided to come on to work. We will see you tomorrow. We have the best ball draft tomorrow. And we have to go hit dingers. How long are we going to be doing that, by the way? Jerry thinks it's going to take 12 hours. No. No shot.
Starting point is 00:31:29 No way. No shot. I think five. I think it's between five and 12. I think five's fair. I mean, from what I heard in the lineup, I feel like there's all everybody in the lineup can hit. Does every person have to hit a certain amount? I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:31:45 Then I think you'll be good. Yeah. Also, am I fully starting in the outfield? I believe so. Fuck my life. So 12 hours would be a home run every minute. I feel like we'll hit more than a home run every minute. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:58 At first, maybe. I don't. Yeah. There's going to be droughts, ebbs and flows. We have to go hard to start to try to get up a big number. There's going to be four or five homer moments. It's a machine. Oh.
Starting point is 00:32:12 I plan on only hitting. And we're not hitting the ball 350. No. Yeah. Do you know how far yet exactly? 200, 220, I think. We'll be fine. TJ, how long do you think it's going to take?
Starting point is 00:32:26 What bats are you using? Metal bats. Big barrels or little league bats? I think big barrels. 750 home runs. I think you get hot. You could probably hit a number in a row. I think you should be fine.
Starting point is 00:32:39 Yeah. Where is it? Juliet. Oh, cool. It's good to have you back, Brandon. It's good to be. It's good to have you back, Brandon. It's better to have Che back. That didn't really seem... We miss Che a lot.
Starting point is 00:32:52 A lot. A lot. Che had a... Wow. Wow. He's dead gay freaky. I didn't think we even said that. No, he's just tied.
Starting point is 00:33:04 It's tied between gay and dead. Wow. It's rare. It's rare in the community. I definitely think it's dead or gay. I don't think freaky. Gay takes a lead. What's he done freaky?
Starting point is 00:33:15 You don't think freaky? The freakiest thing he's done is gay. Is be gay. Oh, yeah. That's what I was thinking. His outfits, his hair, his everything. That's all gay. That's all gay. That was all gay.
Starting point is 00:33:26 There's lots of gay guys who don't. Nuh-uh. Every gay guy does exactly that. That Who's Lying clip, though. What? The funniest. He's got the funniest clip in Who's Lying history. Oh, we got to watch it.
Starting point is 00:33:39 We don't have to watch it. I think we watched it. No, we have to watch it. We should watch it. You just said it's the funniest clip in Who's Lying history. I don't hit. Well, now I don't. It's too long. And this also is your first clip back. No, we have to watch it. We should watch it. You just said it's the funniest clip in Who's Line. Better hit. Well, now I don't.
Starting point is 00:33:46 It's too long. And this also is your first clip back. It's too long to hit. I don't want to play it. I'm against playing it. No, this is your first clip back. I'm never opposed to watching some Who's Line clips. Wayne Brady's pan ass.
Starting point is 00:33:57 Feed it to me. Oh, yeah. I forgot he was pan. Improv boy. What does that mean? You're not into anybody? Regardless of sex or gender, you're down. Oh, you're into everybody. Oh, the contraire. Oh, you're into everybody.
Starting point is 00:34:05 Oh, the contraire. Yeah, you'll fuck anything and everything. Oh, here comes the freaky boys realize. Why is Dad falling away? What if he's not that dead? What if this brings him back? He's as fresh dead as you could be.
Starting point is 00:34:22 He's really not that dead. And depending on how he died, like, I think there's, if you die of old age or a heart attack, that's less dead than getting shot. Yep. He's more dead than freaky right now. No, it's freaky that he's dead. I don't think, I don't think. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:36 If I saw him land there, I'd be like, that's freaky, not all that dead. It's freaky he died on the assassination attempt day. Yeah. That's freaky. That is freaky. And sort of gay, too. It's tremendouslyaky. It is freaky. And sort of gay, too. It's tremendously gay. Dying's gay.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Yeah. I'll never. Yeah, letting your body just get up. Pause. Pause. I'll never do that shit. What are you doing? It's daunting to wear.
Starting point is 00:35:01 What was the leather jacket you were wearing? Oh, they gave me a leather jacket too. Why didn't you just wear... Oh. It's my name. BFW. They gave that to you?
Starting point is 00:35:13 Yeah. When you're walking through the halls are there like whispers like that's Brad? He's a big fucking dude.
Starting point is 00:35:17 Probably. Yeah? Probably. Their schools aren't in right now. I guess that makes sense. But yeah, there I am
Starting point is 00:35:23 right outside the central office on Commerce Street. BFW. Wow, that's the main street uh no that's not main street that's commerce street it's downtown it's downtown that's the library that's a good photo yeah that is a good photo of you thanks couldn't figure out how to get the ring in focus so i just had to do a separate ring picture brandon what what's your first move when you get NCAA today? I start my Mississippi State dynasty. No, fuck the game.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Just automatically. You'll do Mississippi State? That's why they have a hole in the desk. I do a couple years for Mississippi State, and then I go get a bad team to revamp, like an Akron or somebody like that. Okay. You mean Sketches Mississippi State?
Starting point is 00:36:04 Yeah. He's their fan. Their fan. That's good company. Mm-hmm. You like yours? Yeah, I do. Cool.
Starting point is 00:36:17 I'm thinking about gifting it, though. Why would you gift it? I don't know. It would make me feel good. It says Big Cat on it. I would love to wear that around. It says Big Cat. I'm no longer thinking about gifting it.
Starting point is 00:36:28 Do you have any big ideas? It actually kind of matches you, Mook. Yeah. We should talk about it. Yeah, the green. Okay. What did you say? He said, do I have any big ideas while at the beach?
Starting point is 00:36:39 Okay. Go for it. Rasslin? Coming back very soon. Hey, are you editing your own videos now too I have started I had some beef with all business Pete about that but I am learning how to do it
Starting point is 00:36:51 why don't you just use the Adobe products and do it I'm setting you up to get stuff off your chest I'm not fucking with you all business Pete wouldn't let me have but he lets you have one right no no he let me share one with somebody. I said, can I have an Adobe account?
Starting point is 00:37:07 He said, no. I said, I want to do video. And he said, I don't care. So I'm just buying it myself. So it's not much. It's only $23 a month. But you bought it? Yeah, I bought it.
Starting point is 00:37:17 And have you made a video? I haven't completed one yet. But I just bought my GoPro for my fishing content. So I haven't had a video to edit yet. Isn't GoPro for like extreme sports fishing is extreme oh yeah you're right yeah you think the camera's gonna be like indie yak angler oh yeah i'm not gonna record you have the you have the stick and then you say hey i'm out here at my favorite lake and then you when you get in the water you switch to the gopro oh. You can see the bait go out and come back in. What other big ideas do you have?
Starting point is 00:37:49 Well, wrestling's coming back this week, perhaps. Oh, you got a big week. Yeah, we have an interview coming. You might need a vacation, buddy. We have an interview coming in Thursday. Who? I can't say. Why? It's promo.
Starting point is 00:37:59 No, I would like to. Give us a hint. I'd like for it to be a surprise. But I don't like the surprise culture. No, I want it to be a surprise. Yeah, I don't either. You guys are not talking me out of this. I for it to be a surprise but i don't like the surprise culture that's no i want you guys are not talking me out of this i want it to be a surprise i think but like to build hype i think you need to tease because then if it's if you want to be a pure surprise i'm not going to think it's a big guest it's a surprise of what we're doing okay so not talking me out of that i'm
Starting point is 00:38:21 hard line on the surprise is it vince mcmahon that would be awesome yeah would it kind of yeah i guess you would get a lot of views yeah yeah that would do numbies talk about freaky got my ring what else brandon we've been waiting for you to come back well y'all only let um what i don't know we got the game we got the game going on i'm excited about the game can't wait to get home this afternoon so how funny on twitter but like response wise yeah yeah is that your new yeah you got it you are yeah you're a good replier. But when I get when I got on vacation, I was like, fuck these hoes. And I just.
Starting point is 00:39:07 Hell yeah, dude. And I was just like, I just didn't. I know who the guest is Thursday. OK, good. Do you want to know, Nick? Can you help me get CM Punk? Yeah. Come on.
Starting point is 00:39:20 Can I say the name of the guest on Thursday? Tease it. Yeah, to say it. Because you don't know. Britt Baker. say it. Because you don't know. Britt Baker. See, you don't know. You don't know. How the fuck did you know?
Starting point is 00:39:33 Wait, that would have been the most obvious choice ever. That's not a surprise. She's just a friend. You just guessed. But we're doing, okay. You've been on Mostly Sports like five times. It's like you have a different segment. That's right.
Starting point is 00:39:44 Correct. That's right. We got something different segment. That's right. We got something unique going. We got something unique with it. So don't worry about it. Yes, I can help you get CM Punk. Would you? Yeah. Thanks. I don't know if he likes you.
Starting point is 00:39:58 I might have to do the interview on wrestling. Why would he not like me? I don't know. What about we have Che text him? I don't know if he likes you. Yeah, we could have Che text him. He's interviewed with me before. Right. I think he likes me. He could like you.
Starting point is 00:40:09 I said I don't know if he likes you. He said this was a good interview. Oh, so then you're good. Yeah. Maybe Che could text him. I got a crazy idea. Okay. This is crazy.
Starting point is 00:40:21 If I'm doing wrestling and I got Nicky the Good producing, we don't say, oh, Nick's doing it, or Chase is doing it, or Big Cat's doing it. We just let me do it. Who's down for that? I'm down for that, and I will help any way I can. You're not going to be needed to help. What if CM Punk wants to talk music? I can talk music.
Starting point is 00:40:43 CM Punk likes you. CM Punk doesn't know him. No, he likes him. He said that. I'm not CM Punk wants to talk music I can talk music CM Punk likes you CM Punk doesn't know him No he likes him I'm dressed like him in the case race To black out Great homage I'd like to talk to him about that I'm excited for wrestling to come back You need another show
Starting point is 00:41:02 Nicky the Good is doing it He's awesome yeah yeah it's a great time to launch it too the timing is poor the timing's poor coming up that's okay the the launching it in an off time actually is good because then it makes everyone see like hey he's he wants to do this but does does it feel like work for you when you're doing it no there we go that's beautiful. It's got our first four interviews lined up already. Who's second interview? No!
Starting point is 00:41:30 God damn it, no! Who is now... Who do we... The chain of command, who can take this away from you? Nobody with Barstool's helping me do it. So, nobody. I could, but I wouldn't. I would never. But who's the second interview?
Starting point is 00:41:48 I don't know yet. Is it the color of this ring? Who's kidding? Oh, my God. How is there a mole? How do we have a mole already? I'm just texting Nicky the Good right now. Oh.
Starting point is 00:42:04 No, I'm happy that Nicky the good's getting another shot he's he's so good yeah and uh i am i'm pumped for you brandon he's the best i want i want it to be successful it was successful it very much wanted to stay had six straight videos over a hundred thousand views it's gonna be awesome and if you want us on it we're happy to be on it i but if you have any events and you need more people to do stuff or dress i do something goofy or fun send us anywhere we're in i want to go to i want you to take me to my first ever wrestling show oh never been yeah you're calling you should have gone smackdown a couple of weeks ago i know i'd like to go to a small time wrestling show like
Starting point is 00:42:38 backyard yeah go to summer slam i'll go summer slam wait why don't we do our backyard wrestling that we've been talking about yard wrestling yakyard wrestling. But it's going to be Yackyard Rasslin. Yeah. So we can combine the two. So why don't we do that? We should do it in conjunction with you launching the show. Push the show back a little bit, though, so we can do this. But I have people coming to the...
Starting point is 00:42:57 I'm giving you a blank check right now. Get Yackyard Rasslin going. Let's do it. Done. I'll call's do it. Done. I'll call the guy today. Great. Remember the guy who set up the ring for the WWE thing we did? He said he's in Chicago.
Starting point is 00:43:11 He's based in Chicago. Okay. And we need a ring right out there? The only thing I ask is we need a sponsor. Maybe a wrestling podcast that has deep pockets that could pay for it. But you told me I had a blank check. From Barstool. But then we need to get a sponsor to pay us to.
Starting point is 00:43:28 Okay. So Rasslin could pay. Barstool that pays Rasslin for this? Yeah. Okay. We're just moving money around. Yeah, we are. That's all we got to do.
Starting point is 00:43:38 A little shell company. I write a blank check, then you write a blank check back to me. Yep. And we just hand it back and forth? Juice in the books. Next thing you know, Yak Yard Wrestling is a $20 million operation. That's probably our next step. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:53 It could work. We should get more into fraud. Yeah, I've been a huge fan of fraud. Yeah. My whole life, really. Yeah. Laundry money's awesome, the awesome the idea i don't know how to laundry money seems cool it's not as hard as you think you get a car wash right yeah you get a car
Starting point is 00:44:11 washer you go to the casino gambling yeah mattresses are they laundering money gotta be no no you have to have a business that you can in take the dirty money put it into the business that's what i'm saying what does that mean there's a bunch of mattress places oh you're talking about that yeah theory i Oh, you're talking about that. Yeah, theory. I know what you're talking about. Yeah. A Lululemon must be releasing a new line of briefs soon because I've had three
Starting point is 00:44:33 pairs break in the past week. In the same spot. Did the CEO like the Apple iPhone? It's like the forced obsolescence. I think that's what Apple does and that's a conspiracy. I 100% believe. I feel like I saw the L, and that's a conspiracy, I 100% believe. I feel like I saw, did the Lululemon CEO get in trouble for something? Yes.
Starting point is 00:44:50 No, we just talked about him being, what, racist? Oh. I think Apple confirmed that, didn't they? What did he do? Oh, they did, so it's not even a conspiracy. He named it Lululemon to keep out a certain demographic. I don't know about that. And then also, it was like he started it so that fat people wouldn't get into it. Oh. But it it. Oh.
Starting point is 00:45:06 But it stretches. Right. Yes. Brando. Shouldn't say it. Say it. The theory is he named it Lululemon so that Asian people wouldn't. But there's more Asian people on this earth than any other people.
Starting point is 00:45:23 It seems like bad business. That's the market by far. Seems like bad business. By far. market by far. It seems like bad business. By far. And they a lot of money. Right. So a successful, abundant population, we've decided we don't want to sell to them? Yep.
Starting point is 00:45:35 Do we feel like that's probably wrong? Yeah. I mean, I still go to Pret-a-Manger and Le Pond Cotonier. Oh, we actually said that shit. Yeah, that is. That doesn't make sense. I had a teacher growing up who said, i thought he was the smartest person ever he's like if you could sell a single coke for one dollar to every person in china you'd be a billionaire and i was like whoa it'd be so hard to do so hard to do
Starting point is 00:45:55 but it sounded cool it sounded so fucking cool it's like see this coke one dollar to every person in china that's one way that's a very Grant Cardone. I was like, damn. That's a fun way to conceive $1 billion. Cokes were a quarter back then. He's saying sell it for $1. I'd rather have a Pepsi anyway. It blew my mind.
Starting point is 00:46:17 Right, gang? Yep. Pepsi. Far superior. I was playing with L's. It's kind of exotic for them. I was playing with L's. He was playing with L's. It's kind of exotic for them. He was playing with L's. That's the Brandon Walker autobiography. Holy shit.
Starting point is 00:46:35 Holy shit. Holy shit. This is him juggling L's. Incredible. I'm very appreciative of this gift. I'm not going to laugh along. Stay strong. Have you ever tried juggling L's?
Starting point is 00:46:50 It's really hard. If I have two, I drop them. I'm juggling like six at a time every day. You're like Red Panda with L's. Brandon Walker, My Life Juggling L's. That's a pretty good book title. It's not bad. Yeah, it's not bad.
Starting point is 00:47:08 Chapter two, Juggling LB's. Oh. I like my flag. It's good to have Stephen Che back. Yeah. Hey, Stephen. I'm so happy. How are we doing, Brandon?
Starting point is 00:47:22 Good. Stephen is like an addicting drug where it's like, when you detox for like a week, you're like, I feel better. I feel stronger. And then he walked by me today
Starting point is 00:47:35 and I was like, I want that. I want that bad. Give it to me. I want that brain. Chime in with something. I'm conflicted with Che because last episode I said I would let him raise my children if I died.
Starting point is 00:47:48 And then today he argued that the sky in his brain was the WNBA team, not the inescapable blue expanse. Glad to be back. What'd you learn on vacation, Che? I don't really learn things. Here we go. He's correct, too. All right. That's just a...
Starting point is 00:48:17 Herb Blanche, I don't learn things. Well, no, like, I'm not reading a lot of books or anything like that. I'm just gonna turn off. But I'm not reading a lot of books or anything like that. I'm just going to turn it off. But I'm back. I'm charged. That's the name of his book. Stephen Che, I don't learn. You learned yesterday that the MLB draft is during the middle of the season.
Starting point is 00:48:40 You learned that? That's crazy, yeah. That's what he learned from it. Yeah. that? That's crazy. Yeah. That's what he learned from it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Fair. You learned it was the all-star break? Yep. You did? Yeah, I did. Is he reacting to us or something?
Starting point is 00:48:55 I don't know. I was recalling that text exchange was... Yes. That's funny. Is this a stand-in Shay? Somebody acting like Shay? His brain has been forever changed. Shay, did you prep any stand-up?
Starting point is 00:49:13 Oh, he grilled. Oh, yeah. I did. And you drove the internet insane. It was propane. That was an honest mix-up, charcoal and propane. I was doing it fast. Hold, Brandon. Letcoal and propane. I was doing it fast.
Starting point is 00:49:25 Hold, Brandon. Let him... Hold, Brandon. Yeah, but actually, Brandon came to my defense, said that the burgers were good. So what I didn't disclose was that the burgers were not fully thawed when I put them on. Oh. God. Don't say that. But I think it turned out pretty good, and I was going to buy...
Starting point is 00:49:44 That's a disturbing angle. I don't like the canal. That angle sucks. And there's milk in the background. Cup of milk afoot. That's a cursed image. Why is the hot dog not hitting the bottom of the bun? Look at this.
Starting point is 00:49:59 It's like an eye spy. What's in the gap of your hand? Are you holding a plastic bag? We ran out of hot dog buns, so I'm holding a bun. It was all very hastily done. It was very quick. As soon as you put stuff on the grill, it's done very soon.
Starting point is 00:50:15 It shouldn't be. It's almost like fire. That looks great. Those are not bad. I like a char dog. The hot dogs turned out pretty good. But the charcoal gas. Yeah, that's not a mistake that anyone makes. That you make, Steven.
Starting point is 00:50:33 Right, right, yeah. It was certainly an incorrect phrasing of it, but I was grilling. It started going, and I was like, oh, shit, let me get this tweet off of me, and we're going to do this live. Incorrect phrasing of it, but I was grilling. It started going and I was like, oh shit, let me get this tweet off of me and do this live. Incorrect phrasing. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:50 That was a pretty good joke. Wait, what? What? No. I don't want it. Why miss this? This looks like what I'd imagine Freddy Krueger's penis looks like. So you've imagined Freddy Krueger's penis? What I'd imagine. Because he's burnt.
Starting point is 00:51:04 He has hands with like nails or something? But he's burnt. But like decent piece for sure. Freddy Krueger known pedophile. That's why they burnt him, right? Is that right? Yeah. Well, like the fictional.
Starting point is 00:51:20 He's not real. I guess so. I mean, I guess so. I mean, I just... I guess so. I guess so. Agreed. They actually filmed that in Arlington Heights. Anyway. I forgot what... Oh, so the burger, yeah, I just saw that.
Starting point is 00:51:41 Or the hot dog, I saw that and I thought, hey, that kind of looks like what I bet Freddy Krueger's dick looks like. Quick tweet. Quick tweet. Che, any more thoughts on doing stand-up July 25th? Yes. I talked to Nick about that last week. I have to clear up a scheduling thing because
Starting point is 00:51:58 that's when training camp opens and I might be somewhere else at that time. If not, then I should be okay. at that time. But if not then I should be okay. I have to write the jokes but yeah I think I actually made a joke or two over the holiday but I will save those for hopefully in two weeks.
Starting point is 00:52:14 Awesome. I've never not laughed at a joke you've written so I'm really excited. Thanks. If anything like little Skittles. We're in for a treat. Skittles holler at me. I got a lot of Skittles tweets. Hey Skittles. We're in for a treat. Skittles, holler at me. I got a lot of Skittles tweets. Holler, boy.
Starting point is 00:52:29 I'm so happy. Love Skittles. By the way, Game Time, did you know that you can get some Diamondbacks at Cubs this Friday right now for only $49? That's right. Thanks to Game Time, the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. Shouldn't have to worry when you buy tickets to your next big event.
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Starting point is 00:53:13 Last minute tickets. Lowest price guaranteed with the game time app. I'm sore. I'm sore for that machine, KB. Yeah, I want to try it. It's fucking crazy. So the whole thing like stiffens up on you. So you have to fight through to try it it's fucking crazy so the whole thing like stiffens up
Starting point is 00:53:26 and you still have to fight through it and it's like that's cool that's a cool idea where'd you just go that was a quick pee quick piss
Starting point is 00:53:36 yeah did you spritz your hair yeah with water from the sink not from the pee not from the he peed directly up on himself is that pee water With water from the sink, not from the pee. Yeah, yeah. Peed directly up on himself.
Starting point is 00:53:48 Is that pee water? I've missed you like crazy, Brandon. I did too, Brandon. Good to see you guys. Good to be here. Yeah, and I miss Stephen Shane more, but you're so close. That qualifier doesn't really seem... Close second. Close second.
Starting point is 00:53:59 Were they the only two that were out? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Everyone else is here like every day. I was on show week for three days. Yeah. I was here. Yeah. Everyone else is here like every day. I was on show week for three days. Yeah. I was here.
Starting point is 00:54:07 I bookended last week. Sounds nice. How was the crowd at Orange Beach? Orange Beach was crowded. Now, my mother and sister were in Orange Beach, and then we got a place in Gulf Shores, which is much more quiet. That's what I meant. And Gulf Shores, once you get across the bridge there,
Starting point is 00:54:25 away from the crowd, it's really, really nice down there. You throw any Frisbee? I didn't throw any Frisbee. No, no. I just would sit on the beach and watch the boys frolic. Oh, that's beautiful. They frolic a lot. They've floated some.
Starting point is 00:54:37 Anybody go too far out in the water? Tommy consistently. He's a habitual line stepper. He would just get way too far and you know tommy's not big for a 14 year old kid he's not big at all he would just almost disappear out there and i would have to call him back sternly when did you get big um i was always uh right around above average for my height but then i didn't get tall until like 11th grade kids frolicking in the summer is a great sound yeah they love to frolic where you throw on Kids frolicking in the summer is a great sound. Yeah, they love to frolic.
Starting point is 00:55:06 Were you throwing the ball to them in the waves? We threw the ball some, but I would throw the kids some too. Oh, yeah. About halfway out, chuck them around. Oh, my God. I cannot wait. When I'm a parent, I can't wait to skip my kid like a fucking stone. You get sore.
Starting point is 00:55:19 My son is finally at the throwing phase, and I woke up on Sunday so sore. It's a workout. It's a workout. Because they don't just want to get thrown once. They want to get thrown 10,000 times. Yeah, you want to get a pile drive. They run back to you. You throw them and run back to you. It's just like energy for days on the throw. But then
Starting point is 00:55:37 when you've got one kid there, when all three are there. Oh, I know. You were throwing all three. No, well, my girl's too big to throw now, so my three boys, yeah. You were just tossing them? You were just throwing kids all week. I was throwing kids all week. Do you ice your shoulder after?
Starting point is 00:55:53 No, but sometimes you would even get a little help. You know, they would do one, two, three, and you'd – They'd give a little jump? They'd step in, and you'd just throw them like that. Yeah. But sometimes it's just a raw throw. The raw throw is really tough. You need to find them like a little bridge or a rock to jump off of.
Starting point is 00:56:08 Yeah. And it was a great time. Couldn't have been better. There's going to be a blob at Camp Arsenal, we think? Yep. That's cool. That's scary. That's really terrifying.
Starting point is 00:56:20 A blob? Yeah. I've never seen one in person. Oh, one of those things where you jump and then make the other person go. What do you think about it? I didn't know what you meant. It's horrifically inconsistent. I had no idea what you meant.
Starting point is 00:56:33 Oh, they invited him? Trying to get Hank to buy this, which would be so awesome. And I heard the camp said yes to doing oobleck there. Oh, great. They're like, oh, we deal in oobleck quite often is what I heard. I love that. There we go. All right.
Starting point is 00:56:50 Here's the thing I want Hank to buy that's going to be dangerous. But looks so much fun. Camp Arsenal's going to rock. I think you're a captain. I'm a captain. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Good. Good.
Starting point is 00:57:07 And it's not, the other captain's not who you think it's going to be. So will there be... So I did not do that. There's two teams? Two teams. Okay. And I didn't do the thing that you would think. No, it's going to be me and Jerry.
Starting point is 00:57:19 Nope. Oh. Me and Clicky? Nope. Me and Titus? Nope. The thing I would think would be me and Mintz. Nope.
Starting point is 00:57:29 Well, then I'm out. That's all the people who work here. Does the captain have to do the activity? Yeah, yeah. Oh, the captain has to put out effort? Yeah. Caitlin. Nope.
Starting point is 00:57:40 Does she still work here? That would have been something. Think about, all right, when I think about these things, I'm like, who would be bad in a position of power? Oh. Brandon being one of them. Is that Jerry? Are New York people coming too or just Chicago?
Starting point is 00:57:57 I don't think so. Okay, just Chicago. Good, good. White Sox Dave. White Sox Dave. Yeah. Correct. Perfect.
Starting point is 00:58:05 You think I'm going to be bad in a position of power? Yes, of course. I'll be terrific. Of course you will be. I'll be good in a position of power. It'll make great content. There might be one New York person coming. Head referee.
Starting point is 00:58:21 A head referee? He's the ref. I don't want to participate in that. He referee? He's the ref. I don't want to participate in that. He's going to be the ref. The ref for the entire time. Scebelli? No. Can you...
Starting point is 00:58:36 He cosplays as a ref. Mantis? Moscow. Yeah. Moscow. He wants to be a ref Are the cabins set Or is it a draft
Starting point is 00:58:51 By the two captains I think it's a draft Yeah Oh Okay Yeah and we're gonna do I think it's gonna be Wednesday and Thursday
Starting point is 00:58:59 That week After the Yak We're gonna be live For like three hours a day Will there be punishments Or ramifications or pain or discomfort? I don't think so. No, I think it's going to be true, like, old school camp style games. Are we playing for something or just, you know?
Starting point is 00:59:14 We could make a prize. We don't need a cash prize. I think there should be a punishment. Yeah. I would like a Wimbledon-esque plate. Oh. Yeah, I would like a plate. We could do that.
Starting point is 00:59:22 I think plates are some of the best trophies. Plates are great trophies. What is the second place women get? They get a cup. What do they get? That big ass tray. They don't get a big tray. No, that's the winner, right?
Starting point is 00:59:35 The women's winner. Men get a trophy. Oh, they get a plate to cook on? Oh yeah, that's true. Oh, so the second place men gets a plate. Is a plate. I think the plate's sick.
Starting point is 00:59:49 I like the plate. Plates are cool on the wall. You hang them up. Not as cool as trophies. I think plates are cooler than trophies. Plates can't fuck with trophies? Plates take up less space. But don't call them plate wives.
Starting point is 01:00:01 Yeah, but then you don't really see them. You're right. Ooh, plate wives. TJ, did you see the thing I sent you? I concede this argument. Oh yeah, I want this. Oh my god.
Starting point is 01:00:14 Oh my god. Yeah. Fucking lost. That's insane. I want this so bad. Oh my god. What's best case scenario on that thing? It's like you just immediately tip over. As soon as he pulled it.
Starting point is 01:00:31 This thing's going to rock, though. Remember the one that was designed to fly up in the air and then too many people got killed? Yeah. Oh, wow. But this one's going to rock. Yeah, this one's way different. You just throw like four people from each team on it, and whoever's on it last wins.
Starting point is 01:00:52 Yeah, that's cool. Are we going to have access to like a boat in a lake? Yes. Oh, really? Kate's T12 is going to be at the bottom. We're just going to have to plug our nose and go grab it. I'll be the lunch lady. I'll be passing out Sloppy Joes to everybody. There's going to be a full, nose and go grab it. I'll be the lunch lady. I'll be passing out sloppy joes to everybody.
Starting point is 01:01:06 There's going to be a full, yeah, there's a full lake. Are you familiar with supper clubs? I went to one. Yeah, in Wisconsin. I just learned about them. Yeah. It's a Wisconsin cultural phenomenon. Fish fry Fridays.
Starting point is 01:01:18 Friday fish fry. They're delicious. And old fashions. Everybody drinks old fashions. You show up. You just hit the bar. There's a bunch of bars. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:26 You make it like a day out of it. Yeah. And then the... For one final supper? Well, you can eat another one later. Okay. Next day. And what do you do in between?
Starting point is 01:01:35 Just drink? Yeah, just hang out. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. And the fish fries are awesome too. When they do... Like all the restaurants will just become on Fridays, they do a big ass fish fry. Love fish on Fridays, they do a big-ass fish fry.
Starting point is 01:01:46 Love fish fries. And they all have good salad bars. Yeah, that's not really. Those are more for show. Really? Yeah. Well, no, you're right. The Wisconsin salad bar is like a salad bar.
Starting point is 01:01:58 It's cheese. A lot of cheese cubes. It's like you can have macaroni salad. You can have potato salad. Probably like french fries. A lot of mayonnaise. Cheese curds. There's some steak. It says refuse to lose on it. I like it.
Starting point is 01:02:12 Wait. It's a really cool ring. I'm gonna keep it Brandon. I've decided. Is your name in the middle? Yep. Say Big Cat or Dan Cat. Big Cat. Is there a video of the kids seeing them for the first time? That's what I wanted. Yeah. They had to think that was so cool. Yeah, do we have that? No, to my knowledge, no.
Starting point is 01:02:28 Do we have any progress on the Brandan Walker light show? No, because when I was there, my guy who helped me get the rings, he was on vacation. Isn't that ironic? Our vacations didn't line up, so we've got to work on that. That's it. I would like to get that settled settled soon season must be starting in like a month not far yeah the august 12th i think who's replacing the announcer there has to be somebody down there is that doing one last year no he's gonna do he's retired he's going out on a state championship so i would love to go do it, but my work is needed here. Can you do one game?
Starting point is 01:03:10 It'd be an asshole thing to do to the guy who's going to get to do it. One game? Yeah. Remember I told you? Because I'd hate to give the people one game. It worked. It worked perfectly. That worked. Couldn't have worked better.
Starting point is 01:03:19 It worked. I mean, I told you. No idea with this guy. What's it? When you initially said you wanted to call West Point Mississippi high school football games this year, and Titus initially, which was a correct response being like, what about our show? I pulled him aside.
Starting point is 01:03:36 I was like, you just have to let Brandon – you have to say yes to Brandon, and then he'll realize in a matter of weeks or months that this is the most ridiculous plan ever, and there's no way he could pull it off. But if you say yes, then you're not the person who tried to discourage him. And it worked perfectly. It could not have worked out better.
Starting point is 01:03:56 Because when you called me and said you're doing it, I was like, that's incredible, you should do it. So you think it's hurtful the way you just laid it out in plain English like that? Maybe a little, but it worked. It's exactly what you came to the conclusion on your own but i was supportive was i not i was being i think i was being mature and and right recognizing my own limitations correct i don't see my limitations at first right i see nothing but why and i don't want to be the guy that tells you your limitations before you can realize them
Starting point is 01:04:21 all right because you do realize them. Eventually. Right. Every time. When you first told me, I was like, this guy is going to – our busiest season is going to fly to Mississippi every Friday, fly back, then go half the year, go to another college football game. He's going to die. But, yeah, Brandon, you should do it. It sounds awesome. Right, right.
Starting point is 01:04:42 God, it would be awesome. I know. I can't do that. That's crazy you gotta know your own limitations titus would it actually have been awesome do you think yes fuck yeah being the fucking play-by-play guy for my school it would have been cool it would have been cool for like three weeks there was a time in my life that was all i wanted to be yeah that was the time there was a time in my life where i wanted to be a dinosaur too no there wasn't there
Starting point is 01:05:04 was never a time you really wanted to be a dinosaur. Then I grew up. You don't think by week eight you'd be like, what the fuck am I doing? If I were working that schedule, yes. But if I were just in Mississippi living a normal life, that would be a dream. Yeah. I'm saying you would have enjoyed it for two weeks, and then you would have been like, this is way too much, and this isn't as fun as I—
Starting point is 01:05:26 Probably a week. It's not rewarding enough. Probably the minute you booked week one. Week one would have sucked. The flight book. Also, you can't follow a legend. We talked about this. You would have been—
Starting point is 01:05:35 You've got to let someone else go. You've got to let someone bridge that. Get a nerd in there. But the legend chose me. Was he a legend to everybody or to you? To everybody. Okay. He's been doing it for 50 years. What was his name again? Bud Bowen. Yeah, I mean, Bud Bowen's a legend to everybody or to you to everybody okay been doing it for 50 years what
Starting point is 01:05:45 his name again bud bowen yeah i mean bud bowen's a legend name yeah yeah you gotta let a nerd go in there for a few years fuck it up and then brandon walker comes and say you save the day you're the guy that bud bowen wanted to actually the correct way to do it is the nerd comes in fucks it up but bowing has to come back for one final season to save it because the program is in such disarray and then he hands it to you. We'll see. Maybe even do like you do some games
Starting point is 01:06:13 with Bud. He shows you the ropes. I've done that before. I've done it with him and I replaced him for a season back in 2011. What? Oh, wow. Do we have any clips? Yeah, I want to hear your call. He had some illness issues, and then I did it in 2011.
Starting point is 01:06:31 I don't know if we – well, I don't think we have clips. I remember calling the radio station and asking them to send me entire recordings of the game, and they did, but I don't remember what I did with them. I need those. I could probably find them. Get them. Do you want to retire one day, Brandon? Nah.
Starting point is 01:06:46 About what? About what? About what? From what? This? Work. Yeah, eventually. I don't see it.
Starting point is 01:06:53 I can, yeah. I mean, working with four kids, I'll probably be able to retire at like 80, but it is what it is. You're never going to retire. None of us are. You're not going to retire. I know going to retire none of us are you're not going to retire none of us are we would do this
Starting point is 01:07:11 yeah I think about it all the time if I retired I would just start a podcast I would invite PFT over to watch game day and then we'd talk about them and gamble see you next week did you have Connor over? over to watch Game of Thrones. Yeah. And then we'd talk about them. And gamble. Like, all right, see ya.
Starting point is 01:07:25 See you next week. Oh, did you have Connor over? I did. Oh, yeah. Yeah. How was it? It was uneventful. I hated his tweet.
Starting point is 01:07:34 Yeah, we just watched Game of Thrones, and then he left, and that was pretty much it. Did he take off his shoes? I was very nervous. Yeah, he took off his shoes. He was very respectful. Brought his own beer.
Starting point is 01:07:44 Did he poop i don't know he went to the bathroom like three times like an hour and a half did he make you pause no he went he went right as soon as he got he got there about 45 minutes before showtime went right as soon as he got oh you gotta pee in the bushes then he waited till right before the show started and then he peed before he left you gotta pee in the bushes you can't pee right when you walk into someone's house. I always do. I want to see what I look like. I'll do it in my own house. I'll pee in the alley. I'm sorry. You definitely pee at somebody's
Starting point is 01:08:12 house before you pee in their bushes. He complimented the home. No, I disagree. You gotta compliment the home. Nice home. I was hoping you would call it lovely. He didn't. I didn't like this. I didn't like this tweet. The guy's coming over to my place and tweets this. Yeah didn't like this tweet. The guy's coming over to my place and tweets this. Yeah. Brace yourself. Connor is coming. I was weirdly nervous.
Starting point is 01:08:28 I've had, none of you have been to my house. Yeah, I don't have people over really and the doorbell rang and I got nervous and then Connor was standing there with four beers and a plastic bag. I'm here for the gang
Starting point is 01:08:45 did you chat with him throughout a little bit I tried to like keep it light I could tell he wasn't really into the light banter yeah like you watch the show the fucking the Damon guys
Starting point is 01:09:01 like building shit I tried to like make a joke like this guy's building a fucking house and there's a war going on and Connor's just kind of like. You should invite him. He's like not now. He's more of a lock it in. Did he hum along to the theme song? I don't think he may have.
Starting point is 01:09:17 Okay. He may have actually. Did he fist pump at all? No he didn't. But also the episode last night wasn't fist pump worthy. It wasn't fist pump worthy. So I'm thinking the episode before he probably would have. You should invite him back, but be like,
Starting point is 01:09:30 I have an engagement that I have to attend to. Can you come over like an hour later, and you should watch the show before. Oh, and then make predictions. Yeah. And just be like, you'll love this part. Yeah. No, I was nervous because I really thought thought he's gonna show up in costume i didn't expect it but like the doorbell rang i was like when i open this there's a chance that he's dressed like in fucking targaryen that's a tough riding a dragon that's a tough zone that
Starting point is 01:10:00 connor lives in now where it's like you wouldn't be surprised if he showed up to anything in cost. In cost, yeah. Not at all. Not at all. That would have been sick if he brought a date. That would have been a move. What was that, Brandon? Nothing. Did you send a text to get the radio?
Starting point is 01:10:20 No, it's in an old email address, and I tried every password I can think of, and I can't get in an old email address and i tried every password i can think of and i can't get in the old email address damn and all it all of its verification tools are to old numbers or other old email yikes yeah worst it's dead it's gone what uh what is the um trend of the women dancing in their itty bitty titties and a bop? Yeah. What is that? Does anyone know? Just be... I've seen it. Women be dancing. TJ, do you know?
Starting point is 01:10:52 Girls can't have fun without fucking men shitting on them, dude. Yeah. Come on. It's like a trend where girls say what their outfit is. I wanted to ask you guys to do it. I did the prep video. No, fuck you. No, fuck you.
Starting point is 01:11:04 Okay. I think someone should have to do it on the way. So this is the original no This is the one that everybody is like Yeah, I wanted to make you guys So it just pissed everyone off. I did see one person replies like, I have no problem with women being able to do this, but men should be able to make the workplace uncomfortable again. I'm like, okay. Like we all have our spaces.
Starting point is 01:11:46 Let them sing. let me sexually harass let me whistle at you how come she gets to say itty bitty when I call her titties itty bitty alright so someone should have to do this someone should have to go do it do the wheel can the wheel give me four
Starting point is 01:12:01 four people? no we're not doing this. I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this. Okay, wait, wait. Can you just draft people from outside the yak? Yes. I'll bite.
Starting point is 01:12:11 And one yak person. Yes. Okay. You can get... I want Mikey Betts. Mikey Betts, Jacob, and Malicek. Do you want to do the full office wheel? But you guys have to work with the chant and be like,
Starting point is 01:12:22 whatever we determine there to be. Yeah, you go in the other room with those three guys and one of us. Okay. And we'll make it and then we'll post it on the Yak. Okay, good. Can we do Eliminator? I feel like it's going to land on me first. No, hey, everyone's got to be in.
Starting point is 01:12:35 One of us. Just one of us. Yeah. Make it be Mook then. What do you mean? Let Mook do it. Let Mook do it. Fuck you.
Starting point is 01:12:42 That's a great point. Go back on vacation. Fuck you. No, the fact that you don't want to do it makes it Mook do it. Fuck you. That's a great point. Go back on vacation. Fuck you. No, the fact that you don't want to do it makes it great. Okay. I learned like four days ago
Starting point is 01:12:51 in a video of me in my car being like, I'm going to go into the YAK and make them do this thing. So is it the same lot? And then just post everybody saying fuck you. That was,
Starting point is 01:12:58 that idea was like, I was like, nobody's going to do it and it's just going to be people being like, fuck you Kate, this sucks. Fuck you Kate,
Starting point is 01:13:04 this sucks. Fuck you Kate, this sucks. Fuck you, Kate, this sucks. Fuck you, Kate, this sucks. All right, one person's going to go with Jacob, Malasek, and Mikey Betts, and Kate. Oh, no, Jerry. Jerry, Malasek, and Mikey Betts. It's got to be Betts. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:13:22 So are dudes doing this now, though? I don't know. Yes yes it's crossed over to it's a lot of like guy girl like friend groups that are all about to go out for the night or whatever i'm surprised malicek hasn't done it are the hets doing it is jason pancake doing it i haven't seen they're saying jason pancake stronger than the risley what oh wait yeah jay so jay sn now we What? Oh, wait. Yeah, J-A-Y-S-O. J-A-Y-S-N. Now we got to see Jason Pancake. Jason Pancake. We're going to spin this.
Starting point is 01:13:48 Jason Pancake has the swing, right? He has a buttery swing. I just saw the rankings. Okay. I was like, who is Jason Pancake? This is 5'1", 150-pound lineman. This is Jason Pancake, and he's the number one offensive lineman in the class of 2033. Pancake is a beast in the weight room, and he's also been training like crazy for the 40-yard dash
Starting point is 01:14:08 But pancake isn't just alignment. He's also an elite tight end with crazy hands. Could you guard Jason pancake in a 1v1? Okay, so pancakes above Rizzler pancakes on the map wait What? pancakes with them? On the same team. What the hell? This is like the Avengers.
Starting point is 01:14:33 Oh, that's the Rizzlers. The Rizzlers is one foot tall. Stack them. Stack them. Wait, Jason Pancake has a logo because he stacks them right okay
Starting point is 01:14:49 I don't I can't do what is the conglomerate charge of it we're in so deep at this point holy fuck
Starting point is 01:14:55 Jason Pancake it's a great name why haven't you done this to Tommy yet don't you don't you want him to be viral I started his twitch account yesterday nice Tommy Swords Why haven't you done this to Tommy yet? Don't you want him to be viral?
Starting point is 01:15:07 I started his Twitch account yesterday. Nice. Tommy Swords? Tommy Swords? I like that. Swords. What is it? The Walker Boys.
Starting point is 01:15:15 That's what it's called? Oh, hell yes. Are you worried he's going to be better at the new game than you? Oh, he doesn't give a fuck about football. He's not going to play that. He'll play Cuphead and Fortnite and all that shit. Cuphead? Oh, Cuphead. Awesome rubber hose illustrations. Cuphead's incredible. What's Cuphead?
Starting point is 01:15:32 Really hard. It's like 1920s animation style, and it's a video game that's just very, very hard. TJ, you want to weigh in there? Yeah, it's 1920s animation style. It's very, very hard. Nice. That's what I said. Good explanation. All right, TJ, spin the wheel.
Starting point is 01:15:47 Someone's going to have to go do this. Yay. Yeah, it's cool. All the frames are hand drawn. Yeah. Oh. And it's impossible. Can't beat it.
Starting point is 01:15:57 It's really hard. Oh, it's a gate. Oh. Everything kills you. That looks like it's Illuminati. Hmm? Maybe so. Yeah, it does. Yeah. The fuck is going on? Thereuminati. Maybe so. Yeah, it does.
Starting point is 01:16:07 What the fuck is going on? There's an eye? Yeah, whoa. You're jerry-pilled. I am. There's like a thousand bosses. Tommy beat the dragon yet? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:16:18 Probably. Goddamn. I've been fully jerry-pilled. Jerry and Greer-pilled. Yep. Listen, when you wake up, it's hard to realize that you've been asleep Jerry-pilled. Jerry and Greer-pilled. Yep. Listen, when you wake up, it's hard to realize that you've been asleep for that long. It's hard to shut that off.
Starting point is 01:16:30 Yeah. Wow. I've been asleep for 38 years of my life. Far too long. Then I woke up, and I'm like, whoa. Did you see the artist MIA has her own line of tinfoil clothing now? Oh.
Starting point is 01:16:43 It's like fashion tinfoil hats, and they're selling like crazy. They're like real. Okay. You have to do it. You keep the thought to keep the 5G and the whatever beam thoughts going through your head. Steven's a 5G beast. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:01 So who am I doing this TikTok with? All right. And we have to write them for everybody too. Yeah. All right. So Eliminator? Yeah. Because I had a feeling I was going to land on me first.
Starting point is 01:17:14 Okay. We don't have to do Eliminator. Yeah, we don't have to. Maybe you really don't want to do this, huh? No, I'll piss. I'll bite somebody. Whoever touches me to make me do it, I'll bite him. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 01:17:37 I'm afraid. No. Oh, no. Oh, God. Thank the Lord. Oh, Kate can't be on there, though. We can just make Mook do it. Just make Mook do it. Just make Mook do it.
Starting point is 01:17:45 Yo, chill. Take Kate off. All right. Oh, my God. It's going to be me. It's going to be me and Titus. Yep, yep. That's exactly it.
Starting point is 01:17:59 It's going to be me and KB. Titus, are you in the finals every time? Every time, dude. It's always me. Literally every time. Oh, shit. Oh, this is perfect. This is like my dream.
Starting point is 01:18:10 God damn it. Everybody that said fuck you. I'm going to half-ass it. I'm going to half-ass it. This is exactly what I want. Oh, my God. I would have fully committed, too. I would have fully committed.
Starting point is 01:18:21 Why don't you three just do it? If he's going to bite someone. You guys do it together. he's going to bite someone. Let's do it together. Oh, keep going. Yes! Yes! In his voice.
Starting point is 01:18:35 All right. Oh, it's going to go viral now. Great. Okay. All right. Best of seven. Oh, I thought I got you both. I thought it was I got two of you. All right, one nothing there.
Starting point is 01:18:46 This is so cruel. This is so cruel. I'm seeing your bite. Wait, what's a sweep? KB, you have to throw yourself all the way into it. Doesn't matter. Oh. Maybe.
Starting point is 01:18:59 Oh, two nothing there. You have to throw yourself all the way into it. I didn't throw myself. You have to actually try. I know. What are his two little things going to be? Wait, hold on all the way into this. I didn't throw myself. You have to actually try. I know. What are his two little things going to be? Wait, hold on. It's not ever.
Starting point is 01:19:08 Please don't do that. All right, here we go. We started planning the little things. KB, you can bite my shoulder if you need to. 3-1. three one I'd like for you to hold the cat and the second thing be end of pipe bridge hold on hold on I don't know what the oh
Starting point is 01:19:35 here we go oh shit we're going to seven oh shit Here we go. Oh, shit. We're going to seven. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Oh, no. Kyle.
Starting point is 01:20:00 Kyle. Oh, my God. You want to do it anyway. All right, get out of here, Nick. Come on, Nick. I was going to run out. I was going to run out. You can help write it for them, too. Just go in the green screen room or something.
Starting point is 01:20:13 Have we told the other three? No, but they have to do it. I want to see Jerry's reaction. Well, Jerry's probably going to be cool with that. Yeah, I don't know what I would have done kyle i wouldn't that's like just like that's my i wouldn't have done it that's my bottom that's like the last thing yeah the last i would have rather pissed my pants jacob just wave at her like she was 30 yards away where's malicek malicek needs to be in it oh they just got up and yeah no they no, they know. Look at Betts with that. These guys are soldiers, okay?
Starting point is 01:20:45 They're soldiers. Is that Malzak there? No, that's... That's Donnie. Betts going low with the buttons. There he is. I can't wait to see him. Betts. Betts.
Starting point is 01:20:53 Betts has been coming in here with a trainer and just blasting music. Blasting, yeah. With no care. He's fighting in rough and rowdy. Wait, he is? Yes. Oh, really? He's fighting on Frank's behalf against one of the Abel brothers.
Starting point is 01:21:04 How many people does Frank need to fight on his behalf? I don't know. He keeps getting into beefs. Brandon, can you do the DraftKings ad? Yeah, man. Shit, yeah. BestBall tomorrow. Yes.
Starting point is 01:21:17 It's finally here. BestBall week at DraftKings. Here's why it's a big deal. DraftKings BestBall Millionaire Contest is their biggest fantasy contest ever. We're talking $15 million guaranteed prize pool with two, that's right, two millionaires being crowned for first and second place. If you're a set it and forget it type, then Best Ball is for you. No waiver wires, no roster movement, bigger roster so injuries won't end your season,
Starting point is 01:21:40 only the draft, and that's it. You're set for the season. $15 million is a big prize pool that's a lot of money boys all right i agree brandon it's a lot of money still not convinced check this out this year draft kings is offering everyone a draft one get one special your 20 entry fee scores you a bonus ticket best ball week is here download the draft kings app use code yak that's code yak for all customers who enter the nfl best ball week is here download the draft kings app use code yak that's code yak for all customers who enter the nfl best ball 15 million dollar millionaire contest to get a bonus ticket
Starting point is 01:22:10 and get a shot at being crowned one of two millionaires it's best ball week only on draft kings we need to decide a draft order for our best ball we need to decide a draft order for our best ball are you doing the mini right now with that you haven't done yet oh okay well right now yeah right now we should just let do you think you're good at decoding abbreviations no decent brandon yeah yeah whenever you see like these ones on twitter our generation had like bbtyml and i always figure those out pretty easy is Is that what you're talking about? Or just like state abbreviation? What about like, what would 18HNG be? Got nothing. What is it? 18 holes in golf.
Starting point is 01:22:56 Yeah. Okay. Okay. Well, when you said the N, I thought it meant and. That's my bad. Yeah, I'll give you a six pack tomorrow. That's okay. Do you want to have our full detailed logos discussion
Starting point is 01:23:09 tomorrow or would you like to talk about West Virginia's logos right now? I'm actually not into the logos. I'm just into like the amount of school districts or high schools per county. Texas was fascinating. You would have some counties, big area, one high would have some counties big area one high
Starting point is 01:23:26 school some counties uh small area for 40 for example west texas el paso you have a bunch and then immediately east is just a barren desert wasteland you have counties loving county has zero because you only have like 50 people yeah there's a county is that the one down by mexico that's kennedy county that's what they misspell kennedy yeah one n one d yeah i feel like south texas would be like among amongst the worst places to live in the u.s you think it's you think that's better than west texas though because that west texas pan out there east of el paso is is pretty rough. Yeah, that. Because you're like south of New Mexico, right? You're like, it's an impossible climate.
Starting point is 01:24:14 I feel like South Texas down below Houston and Brownsville is a little bit better than that. I don't know. Huh. I mean, there's nobody there. There's nobody in South Texas. Kennedy County has 358 residents. But there are some cities along the river. Brownsville's at the bottom, right?
Starting point is 01:24:29 Yeah. What is the, I hate these. Oh, you're still doing it. Oh my God. I screwed it up and I can't get the fucking things right. What's the county with basically no people? What's the symbol of the Olympics? Loving County?
Starting point is 01:24:40 No, I said rings. What is it? Torch. Torch. Torch, yeah. I shouldn't have told you. Does that say itty? Why did you make me do this?
Starting point is 01:24:56 Feeling rigorous workout sore. School or PTA. All right. Big Cat, are you kind of stupid? Good social skills. Tacked. Tacked. Don't give him answers.
Starting point is 01:25:12 Oh. I'm not good at these things. No. Feeling a rigorous workout ache. Done. 221. How do you like that? I don't.
Starting point is 01:25:21 I beat you by 31 seconds. What games do you want, Kyle? Just crossword right now? Crossword. Doing connections. Like Wordle and connections. Connections I'm really bad at. Really?
Starting point is 01:25:32 Really frustrated. God damn it. KB got 26 seconds. You anus boys are maniacs with crosswords. You got 26 seconds. We are obsessed. Do you like my name? Let me see.
Starting point is 01:25:41 KB's man. You got that in 26 seconds? He made me sign up so he can judge me now. For instance, I have a bigger leaderboard than yours. I have a lot of people. See how far, by how much you're in last? Yeah, it's pretty significant. See the margin between you and the second to last?
Starting point is 01:25:59 You just scroll pretty far. I want to see. I can't see. He's going to throw your phone, Kyle. He's going to throw your phone. Oh. He's going to throw your phone. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 01:26:09 Wrestle him, Kyle. Wrestle him to the ground. Wrestle him to the ground. Grab, take his leg. What fell off? Bite him. My fob. What a nerd.
Starting point is 01:26:20 God damn it. You just found a way to emasculate me every single time. It's not emasculating. And I tried to cheat the other day, and it is harder. Bros aren't good at it. It's not emasculating And I tried to cheat the other day and it is harder It's not emasculating It's hard to cheat I do want to be good at minis You put this pressure on me that I'm not able to
Starting point is 01:26:35 Yeah if we didn't help you You'd still be sitting there Oh yeah Well I said rings Yeah and I agree with you And then it fucked everything up it is torch though are those torches a symbol rings are a symbol torches i'm saying that yeah you know what torch is still a symbol that's not a real crossword right it can test it i can i think
Starting point is 01:26:58 you can send an email right so rings are the symbol of the olympic i wouldn't mind lightning has anyone gotten a torch on torch tattooed on their arm? Probably, yeah. But way more rings. More rings, but I bet torches are out there. Would you rather live in this office for the next five years or freely in Greenland? Freely in Greenland. Definitely freely in Greenland.
Starting point is 01:27:25 Thank you. That's the Greenland. Thank you. That's the official symbol. I didn't say official symbol. Freely in Greenland. Is Greenland the one with ice? Yeah. But there's beautiful evergreen forest. Can you leave the office? You can't leave the office. Ever? For five
Starting point is 01:27:40 years. It's easily Greenland, guys. But all of your amenities you will have you're not gonna want to live here holy shit we should have someone live here for five years and never leave or a year i feel like there's people that one year that would you would have to pick greenland but man i get to the end of a long day here where you know you get here at like two o'clock eight and then we do something at night and you leave at like eight or nine and i've realized i haven't gone outside all day i'm disoriented first day back two weeks off and he's like changing the narrative that he lives here
Starting point is 01:28:13 he's like god damn i've heard a lot of times i said occasionally that happens you get a long day all i'm saying is one day in here i get disoriented uh five years or a year that's that would be awful. Brandon, good news for you. I'm thinking about maybe buying an apartment around here. I thought you said when we were doing this. Making it my boom boom pad.
Starting point is 01:28:35 What the fuck? Yeah. Oh yeah. My boom boom pad. Take your panties off. I won't ever stay there, but it will be my boom boom pad. My boom boom pad. Wait, what's... You want to stay in my boom boom pad. Take your panties off. I won't ever stay there, but it will be my boom, boom pad. Boom, boom pad. Wait, what's- What about that? You want to stay at my boom, boom pad?
Starting point is 01:28:49 I mean, yeah, I want to stay at your boom, boom pad. Yeah. Who wouldn't? People have boom, boom pads. Oh, yeah. Don't they? Oh, yeah. Sure.
Starting point is 01:28:56 You don't live far enough away to own a boom, boom pad. I would buy it as an investment and then lease it back to Barstool because we spend so much on hotels. And if I had a place right here, people would- I would buy it as an investment and then lease it back to Barstool so that, because we spend so much on hotels, and if I had a place right here, people would, I would imagine. Oh, yeah, yeah. The Barstool Boom Boom Pad. Yeah, the Boom Boom Pad. Yeah. I would never step foot in it, but it would be my Boom Boom Pad.
Starting point is 01:29:17 Tommy Smokes be fucking in the Boom Boom Pad. There would be guys that work here that would try to live there. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. She'd pay me rent. They took my mattress away while I was gone. They thought you were dead. Not that I had a napping room or anything.
Starting point is 01:29:30 How'd it go? Oh, no. Oh, no. He looks like he's been violated. Did it go well? Friday beers hit me up. I'm out of here, man. Kate, send it to TJ?
Starting point is 01:29:43 I think she's out. We got to post it. Can Kate send it to TJ? We got to post it. Kate, send it to TJ, and I want it tweeted so that it's the world season. That's what I knew was going to happen. God fucking damn it. I said that before. Are you wearing illegal merch right now, Kate? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:30:00 Oh. That's not ours. In my defense, when I picked it up, I was like, what does this mean? Champions? No, you're okay. What does that mean? What? Okay, well.
Starting point is 01:30:17 No, Kate was great. She orchestrated that perfectly, and I smiled through it. And how did the other guys do? Really good. They were into it. Okay. Oh, the video is under review, and I can smiled through it and how did the other guys do really good they were into it okay oh the video is under review and can't i can't share it yet oh you put on your tiktok what's that how do i send it to tj he'll tweet it on the yeah do we need the captions underneath captions underneath well i think i fucked up because the recorded it on TikTok. I'm an idiot. It'll be saved to your phone. Oh, it will be?
Starting point is 01:30:47 Yeah. I can't wait. Oh, okay. I got it. So it's not up on TikTok yet, but I'll send it. Send the video to TJ. TJ, you post it on Twitter so people can see it before we can see it. And then we'll see it.
Starting point is 01:31:04 Boom, boom, pow. Nick, you think it's gonna go viral no no no is it awful oh it's better in my head but i think it turned out cute thanks guys mixed signal no i i was happy to do it i'm glad uh yeah i volunteered as soon as you brought up the idea yes thank you thank you guys made my dream come true. $60 for that flag. It's a nice flag. I might get this framed and like... Parade flag. It'd be a cool...
Starting point is 01:31:39 It's a 48-star flag. So that means what year is it? It was the longest running flag we had until the 50 took over, and then 50 has run up the scoreboard a little bit. Who are the other two? Hawaii and who? Alaska. What do you think about the theory, Brandon,
Starting point is 01:31:55 that we don't want to add any more states because 50 is a perfect number? 50 is perfect. I don't think we need to add any more states. We had 49 states. Don't you think Puerto Rico would have been a – We'd be dying to add another one? I love it. 100%.
Starting point is 01:32:07 Mook's brother hooked us up. Your brother gave us cards? Yeah. Really cool. That's awesome. I think 55 would be cool. If you add one more, you almost got to go to 60. You got to go 60.
Starting point is 01:32:16 No, I think you could stop at 55. 55 has a – You can't do 51. No. You can't do 52 or 53. 55 has a kind of – Is it five rows of 10 on the flag? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:29 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you could just add one more. Five. We don't have a flag. Five would work. So how would we know?
Starting point is 01:32:35 Yeah. Right. We should get five rows of 11. We should get a flag. We should. Yeah. We should have more flags around in general. We should have a massive American flag.
Starting point is 01:32:46 Oh, yeah. You know the auto dealer ones that they have? I tried to buy one for my dorm room, so my whole dorm would be flagged. Door, ceiling, everything. There are thousands of dollars. Oh, wait, if we get one from MOOC, can you... I want your whole apartment to be couch and flag.
Starting point is 01:33:03 Yeah, I'm down, honestly. Couch, flag, Brandon. Yeah. Yep. one from mook can you i want your whole apartment to couch and flag yeah i'm down honestly couch flag brandon yeah yeah yep you better have that in your fucking apartment that's going because i you're on my mantle fuck yeah that's cool my basement mantle this is gonna be the only decoration i have in my apartment put it over your toilet i can't i don't have any my toilet doesn't have a back oh yeah as you're standing there to piss your toilet. I can't. I don't have any. What? My toilet doesn't have a back. It looks like he's looking at you. As you're standing there to piss. Your toilet doesn't have a back. Staring right back.
Starting point is 01:33:29 My toilet's kind of like a free base in the middle of the bathroom. Free base. Yeah. It's hit the internet. That's what people in that apartment are doing. Yeah. Damn, I was red as fuck. You are so red.
Starting point is 01:33:42 Yeah, it's peeling now. It's gross. That's a satisfying thing, though. Mm-hmm. TJ, can we watch it? Feels good when water hits it, too. His legs and celiac. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:33:55 Oh, no. Brickets in his legs and celiac. Super unhappy at Frank's boss. Super unhappy at Frank's boss. Five foot three and an attitude. Five foot three and an attitude. 5'3 and an attitude. Doesn't use soap and fucks with his dog. Doesn't use soap and fucks with his dog.
Starting point is 01:34:10 That's kind of funny. Gross. That was good. Pretty good. Good work. That turned out good. Yeah? Yeah? good good work turned out good yeah it's got zero like still but let's uh yeah oh yeah oh yeah jerry zesty he really shook it fast for a second there went into rattle mode yeah i think it does need
Starting point is 01:34:39 the captions it does yeah yeah we need Fox's dog on the screen I think the rest of us should go do one right now no I'm telling you if you guys did it right people would think it was like very cute and silly which is what you guys are going for we have five guys we should see which one gets more likes
Starting point is 01:34:59 theirs the one with us or the one with you come on KB no I know you want to let's go do it why don't you just go do it no i want don't get your own group dan kyle this would be good for your career no dude ever since i made mine things have been great i'm harvey weinstein but i'm just making people do the viral girl trend come into my hotel room come to my boom boom pad well that's work i'm way late to this but did you see that tickle documentary
Starting point is 01:35:39 yes what's yeah it's the same this rich guy had a fetish for like watching dudes like tickle each other okay so he would pay them to come over to his house and was like these are tickle competitions is he gay freaky freaky i'd say very freaky and but then or just like one of those things he's he's he's straight and he's but he's gay but he doesn't want to say he's gay so he's like i'll just hire guys to come tickle each other he kind of gave me Fox he was assuredly gay okay yeah he was a freak he was a big blob and is the heir of a big bank on Wall Street really but then he would use the tickle fights as blackmail but he said they were like competitions who could withstand the most tickling like whatever thing um that's the documentary it's yes it's bizarre it's wild i think it's
Starting point is 01:36:27 called tickle ticklish or something review for it dj is it like a fight club situation kind of but anyway that's the vibe big cat gives office yeah i'm getting it just getting everyone here yeah tickled yeah tickled it's old i was late to the game. You're souping fucks his dog. Soaping fucks his dog. That one's kind of catchy. Rick is in the lid again, Celia. Competitive endurance tickling. Oh, the whole thing that he was posing
Starting point is 01:37:01 as a woman. Oh. I mean, tickling. I'm not ticklish. That's a guy that wants to be touched so bad. Every guy that wants to be touched so bad says that. Try all you fucking want. Try all you want, buddy.
Starting point is 01:37:18 No, I am a little ticklish. I used to be more ticklish. Is that just a common thing? Like when you were a kid you were ticklish? Some of my friends' dads What? It was never weird but I remember going They would tickle you?
Starting point is 01:37:34 I think like six or seven Is when you gotta stop tickling I love getting tickled That's a guy who wants to get tickled Two types of guys They want the same exact thing love getting tickled. That's a guy who wants to get tickled. Two types of guys, they want the same exact thing. I want to tickle you so bad right now. I don't want to see it.
Starting point is 01:37:56 No, I don't want to be tickled. I'm very tickled. Brandon, Brandon. This is the worst day I've ever had here. Get him. This is the worst day I've ever had here Not ticklish I'm a little ticklish Pretty weird This is funny You know who's very ticklish pretty weird yeah yeah yeah are you uh i i this is funny you know who's very ticklish is jerry oh yeah oh my god wait get wait call him in here call him in here no sit down no spy no just
Starting point is 01:38:34 get yeah oh yeah spike him wait where is he oh there he is all right go go behind him and tickle him he will he will bust sickle like a... What? You heard what I said. He's going to spill his cool branches. Yeah, do like his do his ear or his neck. No, no, underneath his arms. Under his arms? Yeah. But do I go over the top? Yeah. What if he chokes? Start with like a, be like, hey buddy, haven't
Starting point is 01:38:57 seen you. What if he chokes to death? Oh, tickle cam. Tickle cam's electric. Need a long feather. Until it's not. Oh. Can you reach?
Starting point is 01:39:19 Can you reach? This is so creepy. Look at him. He's so ticklish. Yeah, he is. He's so goddamn ticklish. He limp-wristed. Look at his wrist.
Starting point is 01:39:38 Look at his wrist. I got him. Brandon hurt himself Brandon hurt himself Oh no Get him Oh no Oh my god What is Brandon doing Get him. Oh. Yep. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:40:09 What is Brandon doing? Brandon, get him, too. What is that? He's caressing. He flipped over so fast. That's just good, clean fun right there. Look at Brandon. Oh, my God. Brandon.
Starting point is 01:40:24 Holy shit. Look at the way his body is. He's probably hurt. He's going to need a vacation. Oh my god, Brandon. Can I see Jerry jumping into Brandon? He's so ticklish. You hurt yourself? Yeah, dude. You took a hard fall. Weird. He's so ticklish.
Starting point is 01:40:45 You hurt yourself? Yeah, dude. You took a hard fall. Weird. A weird fall. You went down like Che. Did he jump? He jumped into you, too.
Starting point is 01:40:57 My belly hit the railing. Oh, no. Not your belly? No, tummy. Not the belly. Wait, I want to see what I got him. He was about to try to tickle me when you walked up. belly. Wait, I want to see what I got him. He was about to try to tickle me when you walked up. Uh-oh, Brandon
Starting point is 01:41:10 hurt himself. Oh, no. Injured belly. Oh, no. Oh, my God. We had him good for a second there. Brandon, get him too. Oh my god We had him good for a second there Brandon get him too
Starting point is 01:41:28 He was squealing like a pig You okay? You took a weird fall Yeah I hurt my belly It's good to have you back Brandon Yeah good to be back Your hair looks good, too. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:41:46 But dads with young kids are professional ticklers. Oh, yeah. I tickle my kids constantly. It's a sport. Then you act like you're done, and you sneak back behind. It's a tickle monster. Are dudes still saying coochie-coochie-coo? No.
Starting point is 01:42:01 No, don't say coochie-coochie-coo. No, definitely not coochie-coochie-coo. I don't think I've ever said that Coochie coochie coo That accompanies every tickle In my book That's for tickling babies though right Yeah that's a baby tickle It's a flirt tactic
Starting point is 01:42:21 What babies No Oh Brandon It's a flirt tactic. What babies? No. No. Oh, Brandon. I had uncles that would pressure point. Oh, yeah. With a finger. I hated that.
Starting point is 01:42:36 That sucks. I had a drafting teacher who had half a finger, and he would call it his lucky finger and push it. Oh, what? Yeah. Mr. Clark, great guy. That feels like a repressed memory. It's out now.
Starting point is 01:42:51 It's been a big day for him. Yeah. I got to go cry. Oh, so zesty. Of course it's McCarthy. Yeah. He just lives to do that to people. All right, so best ball tomorrow.
Starting point is 01:43:05 What do we have to decide, TJ? Draft order. Are we going to do gauntlet for? Oh, we have to set the draft order, right? Yes. And then I think the rule is going to be, we've got to figure out the final rule, but I think we're going to do the gauntlet
Starting point is 01:43:19 and best times get locked three picks that they want. Mm. Is what McCarthy said. So how do you want to do draft order? I'll take first pick. I'll take last. I'll go last. I'll take second to last. Second to last.
Starting point is 01:43:38 Third to last. Third to last. Brutal, but I'll go second. I'll go last. I'll go wherever I landed there. I'll go second to last. I'll go second. Second to last I'll go second to last I'll go second third to last I'll go second
Starting point is 01:43:50 third I'll trade first for third yeah I'll make that trade alright wait fuck just randomize it TJ randomize it, TJ. Randomize the draft order.
Starting point is 01:44:10 Okay. This is for football? For fantasy football? Best ball. It's our best ball. Okay. So, bring your best ball. Oh, everyone should have to bring their best ball. Bring all three of mine.
Starting point is 01:44:22 The best ball you own. Yeah, bring the best ball that you own to the best ball draft. That's a wrap for Nicky. Oh, really? Good ball, huh? I had a damn good ball. Shit. I can't wait to see your best ball.
Starting point is 01:44:34 Yeah, we'll just bring in our best ball. Yeah, bring in your best ball. Okay. The best ball you got. Easy. I had a lot of balls. In your house? Hell yeah.
Starting point is 01:44:44 Yeah, a lot of balls. In your house? Hell yeah. Yeah, a lot of balls. You know what the best ball was? That first Nerf football that did the futuristic design. The Vortex. Not the Vortex. That's too far. But it was the first one. Because the Vortex had a tail, right?
Starting point is 01:44:57 The Vortex. Oh, you're talking about the one that was actually a football kind of? Yeah. Yes. They had the old Nerf footballs that were soft, but then it was the first one. I know what you're talking about. It had deep grooves. The waves. It had the waves on it. Yeah. Yes. They had the old Nerf footballs that were soft, but then it was the first one. I know what you're talking about. It had deep grooves. The waves had the waves on it.
Starting point is 01:45:08 That was a great ball. Fuck. It made a little noise when you threw it. Well, that was the whistling one. That was the whistling. That was the whistling. But they had it without the whistle. Okay.
Starting point is 01:45:17 The Spalding pink ball is probably the best ball. That's the best. That won best ball eight years in a row. Great. It's the best ball. It is the best ball. Playing steady quarterback with that ball in the backyard. Oh, yeah. eight years in a row. Great. It is the best ball. Playing steady quarterback with that ball in the backyard. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:45:27 He can throw it a mile. Great. Racquetball is very close. A blue racquetball. Racquetball. Great ball. Playing butt ball. You guys played butt ball, right?
Starting point is 01:45:35 Great ball. Stand against the wall and get hit with the ball in the butt. We called it red ball. A perfectly sized kickball, too. Not too big. Yeah. They got too big because you couldn't chuck them at the ropes. Right, but the ones that you could palm, those are good balls.
Starting point is 01:45:48 Yeah, good balls. Those are really good balls. You know what the worst ball was? The junk ball bat ball that came with the junk ball bat. What was that ball? It was the junk ball. Oh, it was terrible. Red stripe on it?
Starting point is 01:45:57 Red stripe on it, yeah. Awful ball. Off-brand wiffle balls were really bad balls. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Ping pong balls. Or do you want to do something else to randomize? Yeah, it works.
Starting point is 01:46:13 Hit it again. What? Hey, this works. It's fine. All right. There's your draft order. No, do it again. No, no.
Starting point is 01:46:24 Wait, we'll stop until somebody has to guess what position they're going to be okay all right i like that all right i'm gonna be third i'm gonna be eighth i'm gonna be first wait everybody has to be exactly right no you get a chance nick you start okay uh yes well so i if but i don't want it to be right if i'm third so i'm gonna say say if Brandon Walker is fifth, we stick with it. Okay. No. Third.
Starting point is 01:46:52 Shit. All right. If Mook is second, we'll stick with it. If I'm tenth. So close. So we're just going to do this for him? It's good. It's one in 10.
Starting point is 01:47:11 It's very yak. Kate first. Not even close. Not close. Brandon fifth. That's what Nick's. Oh, he did it? Does that matter?
Starting point is 01:47:29 Apology accepted, LeBron. If I'm if i'm fifth i like that thanks big bro this is fun this is fun i'm gonna say chain ninth this is like the oo black on steroids this is oh we snaking this is the dumbest thing ever. Go ahead. Me 10th. Oh, kind of you. Kate, second. Oh, so close. I'll go me 10th. Eighth again. Luke, third.
Starting point is 01:48:08 KB7. KB7. B7. J8. There's our draft order. Yeah. Huge. Very nice. I'm so good at this game.
Starting point is 01:48:23 I'll play this game more. That's a fun game. Double or nothing. How would you? What's a double? You get two first round picks. Speaking of best ball, it's finally here. Best ball week at DraftKings.
Starting point is 01:48:38 Wait, did you not like when I read this ad? Brandon already did it. Oh. Where are you at? What do you do back there? What do you do other than look so hot in that Hawaiian shirt?
Starting point is 01:48:51 Sorry. You do look good. Thanks, guys. You look like a Pro Bowl fan. I am a Pro Bowl fan. I'll not really anymore. You just went to go get autographs at the Pro Bowl. Yes. It's a long sleeve. Oh, Baker Mayfield likes you. Yeah. Yeah, that was cool. I showed Baker a picture of you and Baker.
Starting point is 01:49:08 That's weird. That's a good way. Yeah, I did. I think that clip is out there on Viva La Stool. Yeah, just like, hey, here's a picture. Steven wanted me to show you this picture of Steven and you. I'm not. Okay. He actually did say
Starting point is 01:49:24 feel free to show him this pic of us from the camp with the Jets last year. So there's the pic. Oh, he's got a lot of energy. Yes. He's got a lot of energy. Steven Shea, he's a crazy Bucs fan. Okay. Watch his film.
Starting point is 01:49:37 He's very well known in the Bucs community. I asked him for some questions. He watches film? He does. Like, he doesn't know world news unless Schefter says it. Okay. Because that's how locked in he is on just football. Okay.
Starting point is 01:49:48 So he said, I heard a rumor, so Schefter's his favorite guy in the world. He said, I heard a rumor that you and Adam Schefter are very tight. It's rare in this day and age for a newsbreaker and a player
Starting point is 01:49:57 he reports on to be good friends. How did this beautiful friendship blossom and what are your favorite qualities about Schefter? Did he just do an ad-lib? Like, throw in the adjectives? This is a real question. Beautiful friendship, awesome. friendship blossom and what are your favorite qualities about chef oh my god ad lib like throw in the adjectives this is a real question what friendship and also what are your favorite qualities about adam schefter this i mean he's a weirdo i'll say steven's a gem yeah he is there you go steven he said you're a gem i don't think he meant it well yeah yeah it was like a gem. I don't think he meant it well. Yeah, it was like a gem that I never want to meet again. That's fine.
Starting point is 01:50:27 We had a brief encounter. I cheer for him. Him and Chef, they're friends, and I knew this. He's a precious gem that I hope stays in a cave in Sudan. I'll see Baker in a couple weeks. He won't know who you are. You know what you have to do. You have to show him the video of me showing him The picture
Starting point is 01:50:47 That's what you're going to do Alright yeah We'll get it organized And get that on video so next time I see Baker I'm going to be like Wear a t-shirt that says I'm a gem Yeah we'll keep doing that Baker thinks I'm Baker's gem
Starting point is 01:51:03 I'm Baker's gem. I'm Baker's little gemstone. Yeah, no, Baker's the man. Good dude. Fun to work for. I was nervous that he was out on us, but he said that he just didn't do interviews for a long time, which I appreciate.
Starting point is 01:51:23 Went through some shit. Yeah, he was pretty recluse on social media for a while. Yeah, which I appreciate. Went through some shit. Yeah, he was pretty recluse on social media. Yeah, which I like that. You ever hear anything back on Ryan Poles? Yeah, he said it's all good. It's all good. Does he mean it? I followed up and he was like, it's all good.
Starting point is 01:51:38 I've been there. Okay. Maybe that doesn't sound that great. It's all good? Whenever I've said that, it ain't great It's all good Whenever I've said that It ain't Oh the contraire Yeah I guess we're gonna have to try again
Starting point is 01:51:58 Yeah I'm gonna have to FaceTime him again Yeah Alright you wanna do the highon and then we'll finish up? Yeah. My best ball draft is coming up in 10 minutes. Tune in. It might be a debacle. The moment everybody's been waiting for is finally here.
Starting point is 01:52:17 The High Noon Pool Pack is back. So grab a case, text the group, and get your friends to the nearest pool. It's only here for the summer, so now's the time to enjoy lime, peach, and two limited edition flavors, guava and kiwi. As always, the High Noon Pool Pack is made with real vodka and real juice, has 100 calories, is gluten-free, and has no added sugar. Visit highnoonspirits.com to find a pack near you. Do you know what the one thing that stinks, Brandon?
Starting point is 01:52:42 Well, actually, it's good for you. In the new game, you can't customize your coach's look. What? Yeah. Why would that be a good thing for me? Because there's like three Brandon Walkers in there. So? So what?
Starting point is 01:53:00 It's good for you because you can make yourself. Okay. Like, they look like you. There's one with a big beard. Wait, so they don't have bald? They don't have bald. How do they not have bald? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:53:10 Are there no bald college coaches right now? It's crazy, dude. No, there's a ton of bald college coaches. PJ Fleck? PJ Fleck's bald. Well, I was wondering why they wouldn't have... James Franklin? James Franklin's very bald.
Starting point is 01:53:21 How would they not have bald as a template? Dion? That has to be the easiest template to make. That's lack of template. That's a good question. No, he has hair. He has hair. Dion has hair.
Starting point is 01:53:31 It's got to be in the update. Bald. Bald. We just dropped bald. The bald update. Two gigs. Yeah, there's just no bald guys. Two gigs of baldness.
Starting point is 01:53:41 It stinks. So Doug's has a new look. Does he have hair? Yeah. Is he thin? There's no bald new look. Does he have hair? Yeah. Is he thin? There's no bald. Has he lost some weight? No, he's 400 pounds, 5'8".
Starting point is 01:53:48 Looks good. Who are we going to hire next then? I don't know. Someone who's 5'8", 400 pound, haired guy. We should reach out to Doug's, the person. Because he probably saw me tweeting like like, Doug's is back. Oh. You're going to say, not you?
Starting point is 01:54:10 Shit. I like Doug's. I do, too. Very good dude. Yeah. Very good dude. All right, let's spin the wheel, TJ. Oh.
Starting point is 01:54:26 Hmm. Oh, boy. Hmm. We have a Titus name wheel, right? Or is that the Oobleck? I think that was... Yeah, that was Oobleck. Yeah, yeah. Oobleck's going to happen.
Starting point is 01:54:37 I always wanted to do Oobleck. Yeah. When we cleaned it up, there was a ton at the bottom. There was a ton of Oobleck at the bottom? Yeah. It was pretty fun. Damn. Oh, that's good.
Starting point is 01:54:47 Trust me, it was fun. What did you do with it? Held it in my hand and watch it melt. Hell yes. That's awesome. All right, so best ball draft tomorrow. Bring your best ball. And then we're going out to Juliet to hit some fucking dingers.
Starting point is 01:55:00 What time are we doing that? Right after this? 3.30 or 4. 3, okay. But it's not a nighttime thing, per se. It's a shame there were no fields closer than Joliet. Well, we had to get a field with lights that would let us just be there. How do you use per se correctly?
Starting point is 01:55:17 Because I just tried it there, and I don't know if that was right. It sounded right. Instead of handbag? Are you going to do this per se? No, that's not right. You're using jargon or a phrase that doesn't mean what you said literally. I don't know. That was fucking awesome.
Starting point is 01:55:35 I heard it, and I didn't want to start laughing. What are you doing? He crushed that. He crushed that joke. What did he say? Just a good joke. Back. Brandon's back.
Starting point is 01:55:43 I said per se, and Brandon pretended as though I had said purse. How do you use purse? And he said, kind of like a handbag. Nice. Fucking crushed it. It was right. Do it. It was per se.
Starting point is 01:55:59 It was fucking good. He crushed it. I'm not even being sarcastic. It's like a handbag, per se. Good joke. Great joke. You're back, Brandon. I'm so back. Great to It's like a handbag per se It's a good show It's a great show You're back Brandon I'm so back
Starting point is 01:56:07 Great to have you back Even better to have Stephen back It's a good That's pretty good It's a good No Is Stephen gonna just kill us In the best ball draft
Starting point is 01:56:16 Who's all hitting dingers tomorrow What's the lineup I think I have it It's me you It's me you No I'm fucking in the outfield We ain't gonna you. No, I'm fucking in the outfield. We ain't got to rob. There's 10.
Starting point is 01:56:27 I'm fucking in the outfield. That seems like the funnest thing to do. Max. I mean, I might not catch a ball. Hank. All right. Right now, I believe it is. Ebo.
Starting point is 01:56:35 Jerry. We have to figure out Ebo because I know he can hit. Jerry, Big Cat, Max, Hank, Titus, Mook, Brandon, Tate, White Sox, Dave, Chief. That's a good crew. Yeah. I feel like I'm on the lower end of skill in that crew, and I'm confident in my abilities. We should think –
Starting point is 01:56:55 So I feel confident about that. We should add something to – like the free throws where you have to hit – everyone has to hit at least a home run an hour or something. We've got to whittle that down, yeah. Because I think we're going to do like 10 pitches each. That's it? And then just keep rotating? And keep rotating.
Starting point is 01:57:16 Okay. You're going to get tired after. Yeah. And it starts in the sun, right? Why not just – everybody has to hit 50. So we'll see. I like that. Everybody has to hit at least 50. At least 50? Wait, once you hit 50 So we'll see. I like that. Everybody has to hit at least 50.
Starting point is 01:57:25 At least 50? Wait, once you hit 50, you're done? No. No, you have to hit at least 50. Yeah, but everyone has to hit at least 50. I like that. Okay. What?
Starting point is 01:57:36 If you're doing the 763, then somebody's going to hit 100. We understand that part. But then it does it. It's a minimum. It's a minimum. Incentive to go home would be cool, though. It's like the free throw thing where someone someone's got to hit one yeah no i got that but once you hit once we hit the team goal 763 if hank has 13 we stay there until he is yeah
Starting point is 01:57:55 everybody that's why we plan it out so that way what part did you not understand about everyone everybody has 50 it's because the ultimate team goal was to hit a certain number. But it's not a team goal. If we come to find out Max is... Yeah, if Max hits 400 home runs, it's not going to be enough. That's not a team. That's just Max being awesome. Yeah. That was appropriate for the questioning Brandon just had.
Starting point is 01:58:23 It was a half-ass game. It's just so frustrating. I wanted something for the cat's room and I couldn't find anything. Kyle, you need a Dale piece? You need one of these to like... I need at least one of those TV guys because I like to look at old TV. You could go Terry Labonte
Starting point is 01:58:41 or Dale Jarrett or something. Was Labonte in the Kellogg's car? Yeah, Corn Flakes. Yeah. I'll keep the Jeff Gordon for myself. I'll take Jeff Gordon. No, you take Jeff Gordon. I got a nut from one of his cars.
Starting point is 01:58:56 I'll give it to you. All right. All right, we'll see you over tomorrow. Best ball. Bring your best ball. Yeah. Yeah. alright alright we'll see you over tomorrow best ball bring your best ball yeah yeah ugh
Starting point is 01:59:06 it's the act it's the act it's the act it's the act it's the act it's the act it's the act it's the act yeah it's time to talk hey have a good week see you tomorrow for best ball everybody bring your best ball to chat all right

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