The Yak - Brandon's War with the Sun Continues | The Yak 5-23-24
Episode Date: May 23, 2024#DougYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up. Evan is the name.
You're talking about seven.
What are y'all talking about?
You don't know that clip?
Six is good.
You don't like six?
That's a sign for it. Hello, it's Roback.
It is Roback.
It's the yak.
Oh, we should.
Look at my shorts.
Ro-yak.
What are those, Brandon?
Those are the new Roback swim trunks and they drop today
has new bathing suits for the summer yep go to rowback right now uh-huh right this second
rowback.com promo code yak 20 off your first purchase all new swim trunks and all performance shorts, polos, and everything else that
we always have. But today is swim trunks
day. Yep. Yeah.
RHOBACK.com. Do you guys like
my rowback fleece?
I was going for the vibe of
hey, me and the guys got
a bonfire down by the beach.
Oh, yeah. I was going to say, what
scenario? You want to bring your girl?
You want to bring your friends?
Yeah, you want to bring your friends Yeah you wanna bring your friends Come on by
Oh boy
Hey I love
Magic
I love that vibe
But I can't stop
Looking at your legs man
Yeah
Oh yeah there they are
Shit
Did I ever tell you guys
About the time that I went
To a bonfire
My buddy was getting married
And the rehearsal dinner
Was like a bonfire
And they lost the
Wedding ring No Yeah In the sand In the sand was getting married in the rehearsal dinner was like a bonfire and they lost the uh wedding ring
no yeah in the sand in the sand oh it was fucking crazy and we spent like an hour looking for it and
i also i'm pretty sure the uh mother of the bride hated my guts because i was just walking up to
people just like kicking sand being like we're never gonna find this it was like in tears i was
just like yeah this was a collective loss or did one person what the the the bride lost it it was
like a family heirloom that's better than the whole bonfire we had to go around kicking i was
literally i was doing the bare minimum like no not over No one had a detect. So then the next day they called a metal detector guy.
That's what I'm saying.
Got a quote, found another metal detector guy.
They were like, let's say the first guy's name was Bob.
They called the next guy Kevin, and Kevin goes, who have you talked to?
And they're like, Bob.
And he's like, oh, he'll never fucking find it.
I'll find it.
And he went and found it.
Rival metal detector oh yeah
yeah they all know each other i thought that was a hobby i didn't know it was a business no it was a
straight up business and there was like straight like legit bad blood he's like that guy will never
find it i'll find it oh yeah yeah how do you sustain that as a business how many in shore towns
it's like a real there's guys on social media. Always jewelry. It's like always just lost jewelry. Almost 90% of the time.
I was on that algorithm for a while.
Yeah.
It makes sense.
Was that many cases?
It was.
That like an older divorced man can make a living off it.
Where the fuck was it?
It's where Pebble Beach is.
Where is that?
It's like Pebble Beach.
What's the name of that?
Carmel by the Sea?
Yeah, Carmel by the Sea.
Yeah.
That's like the richest place on earth.
Yeah.
So if you lose, i feel like if you just
lose two things a year you're gonna make your money back it's true well everybody takes them
off too to put sunscreen on real quick so you put it in the little beach chair thing and then the
next thing you know you've had 10 drinks but i just remember yeah just walking up to people and
they had the i fucked up the mother of the price like i was like we're being honest here we're
never finding this. What?
That's not a communal effort, though.
You should have went home.
Yeah, you just had to pretend that you were doing it for like 10 minutes,
and we left and went to a bar.
It's like carrying a couch.
Yeah, right. If you're the guy on the end.
Yeah, you're like, oh, yeah, I'm lifting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where's Nick?
He's not here today.
He's out today.
Oh.
Moving.
Yeah.
Did he move last weekend? He's moving twice.. He's out today. Oh. Moving. Yeah. Did he move last weekend?
He's moving twice.
I missed you guys yesterday.
How was it?
I feel like I missed a lot.
I think it was good.
Well, we had a guy on here.
Yeah, I want to meet Uncle Doug.
I just met Uncle Doug.
Oh, yeah.
Uh-huh.
He has to get a picture with you.
I had a very weird encounter with Uncle Doug.
Why?
Don't make-
Me too, man.
I shook his hand.
I said, nice haircut, which we'll unveil in a second.
He's like, I've met you before.
I was like, what?
Has he?
Where?
He hasn't met you.
Where would he have met me?
He's never.
No, that's not a thing.
But he was convinced.
He might be drunk.
But he knows who you are.
He's like, oh, this is a.
No, he's like, we've met.
Oh, you know what?
He thinks he met you yesterday. He didn't know we've oh you know what he thinks he met you
yesterday he didn't know that you were big cat ah he thinks he met you yesterday i did introduce
myself as mook that's what he was saying to everybody yeah oh he doesn't even know who big
cat is no but he needs a picture fuck yeah he has to get a picture for for his nephews and nieces
love that yep so you guys had a good day yesterday i also missed the browns
kb that was oh gay homo on that long gay browns is how is that not photoshopped how is that not
photoshopped it has to be that has to be photoshopped people were coming out of the
woodwork to ask me like hey is this you i think it's you i do i still think that when you were
in college your friends were browns fans and they were like,
let's go to the game, and you said, sure.
Let me just grab my wig.
I'm going to grab my wig and make a funny pose.
I'm going to grab my football wig.
I got to find this dude.
My football wig.
Yeah.
My football wig.
It's just my football wig.
My football wig.
We're going to the football game?
Yeah.
I'm going to grab the long blonde wig.
Oh, shit.
It's Sunday?
Got to get my football wig on.
You know what that means.
That's you.
It's hard for me to tell
because I've seen a lot of doppelgangers.
I don't know what other people see.
I guess people are saying this is the one.
It's identical.
Yeah, if you're on trial, Kyle, and you're trying to prove
that that's not you, how do you go about it?
Side delts.
Fingers.
I think fingers, too.
Show them my delts.
Look at those fingers.
She's like Pedro Martinez.
Look at how long those fingers are.
Why'd you say she?
Oh, it's a he?
Yeah.
Oh, my bad.
You can also tell that dude is tall as fuck.
Oh, that is a he.
Yeah, there's a mustache.
But then look at the pants and the shoes.
I'm like, that's a girl outfit
but then again it's gay browns kyle it's gay browns all right it's gay browns blonde football
wig was it gay blonde browns kyle or gay browns blonde kyle gay browns blonde car yeah gbbk okay
but i'm glad to be back oh yeah missed you guys a lot what else one day just miss you so we um
well doug is in mostly again yeah yeah waiting for the call up yeah we'll have him uh but but
uh yeah we went to wrigley last night and uh he just yeah you know when you take somebody to
something and you give them a maybe a gift or something you're waiting for that moment where
they're impressed they're visually impressed and you you feel good oh yeah never gave it to me he
he actually didn't give it to me either because i said oh did you like wrigley and i was like yeah
those were my seats and he's like i'm sure you talked to brandon about it but you got to move
across the aisle i was like fuck i know i talked to him about that last night. I said, yeah, the beer guys are just, you know.
The beer guys are aggressive.
But, yeah, he stole my joy, too.
I want him to be like, incredible seats, incredible time.
Yeah, oh, my God.
He never gave me my moment last night.
So hopefully he gives me my moment today.
I don't know.
Maybe later.
I asked him his thoughts on his first impressions of Wrigley,
and his response was, I've seen her on TV a lot.
Yeah.
At first, this really wasn't my first.
He's stealing us.
That is the thing.
What did you think of your first trip to Wrigley?
He's like, well, you know, of course, I've seen her on TV my whole life.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That is one of the greatest experiences.
Like, damn, dog.
To have someone else experience something for the first time and be like,
wow, this is really cool.
What'd you think?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow, this really is green.
Yeah.
That ivy really is a wall.
That is a bottom feeling.
What?
Somebody no-sells it?
Doesn't sell it.
Something like, yeah, like when I showed one of my boys Napoleon Dynamite
and they hated it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, you feel like such an asshole.
But, yeah, he should have said thank you, but.
He did say thank you.
I'm sure he meant, felt it.
Yeah, it's not a thing.
Yeah. I don't think he said thank you to me. I don't need to know what I you, but. He did say thank you. I'm sure he meant, felt it. Yeah, it's not a, yeah.
I don't think he said thank you to me.
I don't need it.
You know what I think, Brandon?
What?
I think your Uncle Doug didn't come to Chicago to see Wrigley Field.
I think he came here to see you.
And I think in your Uncle Doug's mind, he was like,
I don't care if we go to Wrigley Field or not.
I just want to be with my nephew.
We could be watching the league.
We could do anything.
So, for me, this trip isn't about historic Wrigley Field.
It isn't about the Braves versus the Cubs.
This is about me and my nephew.
None of that sounds right.
Which side is he?
He's my mom's brother.
Republican.
Well, they're all, yeah.
But he's my mom's brother.
My dad's brother.
Let's get him in here.
Fuck it.
I want to talk to Doug.
Wait, did you have to kiss in front of him? My dad's brother. Let's get him in here. Fuck it. I want to talk to Doug. All right.
Wait, did you have to kiss in front of him?
No.
One guy did come up and bluff the kiss coin.
But he couldn't back it up.
That would have been a pretty tough one for Doug.
He could not back it up.
He did.
Before I bring him in here, I'd like to point out,
we were sitting there at Wrigley last night,
and he said to me, where do you get your beard done?
And I said, what? And he said, I need to get get your beard done and i said i said what he said i need to
get my beard trimmed while i'm here and so i sent him to funk this morning he's funk he's
he does have a haircut i made an appointment uh with five i immediately texted funk last night i
said i know this is crazy last minute can you get my uncle in for a trim tomorrow? And he did it, and Funk did it no charge.
And so he's been here one day, and he's already changed his look.
What a guy.
Funk, I mean, but your Uncle Doug, now do you think that was something like he's been living his whole life,
and then the minute he leaves Mississippi, he's like, oh shit, people look different here.
Maybe I need to.
I know.
I think he just, I think he just was tired of his long ass beard.
Yeah.
And he's out of his routine.
So why better now than never, you know?
Yeah.
Why not go ahead and do it?
Let me go get it.
I hope his hair is sky high.
Oh, Brandon.
Oh, Brandon. Oh, Brandon. Brandon. Oh, Brandon. guy high oh brandon oh brandon oh brandon brandon oh brandon oh brandon so what else did i miss
yeah my legs suck fuck i don't shave my legs kb confirm there's hair it's just really light
stubble god damn it i actually shaved mine early this morning
for the swim trunks and then i was sitting upstairs vlogging and i heard you guys talking
down here and i was like oh they're chatting and i was like oh the yak is on and i'm on that
yeah so i'm late to the game but i shaved my legs for these, and they're great. All right. Crabs. Yeah. Oh, you have them.
Okay.
What else?
Beautiful game yesterday.
What beautiful game?
The Cubs.
They got killed.
Beautiful in the sense that the city was coming alive.
Oh, yeah.
Summer's, yeah.
Babylonian vibes.
S-tier vibrations.
Felt great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How was the rooftop?
They got the pep in their step.
Rooftop was nice.
Free drinks.
Was it fun?
Food.
Oh, I didn't know you went.
Yeah.
Oh.
I thought you were just saying you saw it on TV.
It was there.
Two big groups, right?
Yeah, I got the body armor dudes reacting.
Doug's looking good.
Oh, handsome.
Very handsome.
Looking good, Doug.
Back.
Over here.
Uncle Doug all trimmed up.
All right.
Yeah, he said that was a prerequisite for whatever the word is.
Metro.
How was Funk?
Did you ever been in a barbershop like that?
I like Funk a lot.
He's a good guy.
I love the shop, but I really, really liked him. Yeah. He's a good guy i love the shop but i really really liked him yeah he's a
talker yeah just to work in a way he'll talk but yeah shop's real unique i would recommend it to
anybody first time i've ever had the towel wrapped on my face and a straight razor
yep looks good old school awesome yeah so how'd you like wriggly last night I've never had the towel wrapped on my face and a straight razor. Yep. Looks good. Old school.
Awesome.
Yeah.
So how'd you like Wrigley last night?
Wrigley was good.
Yeah?
It was up to the hype?
Sir?
Did it live up to the hype?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Great weather.
Perfect weather.
Perfect weather.
I was saying that.
Except for Brandon, the sun.
I emailed the Cubs earlier this morning because apparently in my seats there's sun for 20 minutes.
So we're going to get that fixed.
Yeah.
For Brandon.
Yeah.
He did complain about it.
20 minutes of sun was too much.
He got up and actually went and stood in the shade.
I did.
20 minutes, you saw the sun.
It was longer than 20 minutes. It was like from 6 o'clock to 640. And I did. 20 minutes. You saw the sun. It was longer than 20 minutes.
It was like from 6 o'clock to 640.
And I did.
Did you get there early?
We got there early.
Yeah, that was you.
We missed shot everything.
We got to the barbecue restaurant at like 445.
I thought it would take us an hour to eat.
It took us like 20 minutes.
Where did you go?
Smoke Daddy?
Smoke Daddy.
Yeah.
And then they opened the gates.
So we said, what are we going to do?
Walk around?
So we just went on in and sat down and didn't really, we just sat there for an hour.
And it was hot.
But whatever.
It was great.
It was Dan's tickets.
Yeah, I know.
I've spoken with Dan earlier today.
Yeah.
Did you tell him thank you?
I did.
I guess I did.
Did you get your picture?
I don't know.
But I don't need a thank you from you.
Okay.
I liked it though. Yeah. No your picture? I don't know. But I don't need a thank you from you. Okay. I liked it, though.
It was good.
No, no.
I don't need it.
We did make the recommendation.
He had already determined that he needed seats slid over one aisle.
Yeah.
Too many beer guys.
But, yeah, it was good.
Good game.
Almost, we thought we was going to see a no-hitter for a long time.
I know.
The Cubs can't hit.
Yeah.
They suck at hitting.
I tell you what.
The guy had a wicked curveball, though.
Yeah.
Who was pitching last night? Max Freed. Freed. And he could throw a curveball. Yeah. They suck at hitting. I'll tell you what, the guy had a wicked curveball, though. Yeah, who was pitching last night?
Max Freed.
Freed.
And he could throw a curveball.
Yeah.
And they could not hit it.
Saw a couple dingers.
Yeah.
I mean, a rocket.
Yeah.
One of them.
That sounds like a good time.
It was a good time.
Now we're going again.
We're going to.
That was the time I had to sit there by myself because the sun was shining on me.
What did you do?
I noticed, too, did Brandon not give you the aisle seat?
No.
That's kind of funny.
Why would I give him the aisle seat?
I didn't even complain.
I just sit there and took it.
Yeah, because the aisle seat is the primo seat.
But I have longer legs.
Right, I know, but that's like he's your guest.
I should have said, actually, you can have the tickets, but Doug gets
Why on earth in that situation would he get the
aisle seat when I have, I can sit like
this? That's probably why he wasn't
impressed with Wrigley, because he was all cramped up.
Were you cramped up?
I wasn't too bad. You were fine.
There's a pretty little babe sitting
right next to me, you know.
She kind of infringed
on mine. Oh, she
That leg touch where you're like oh are we gonna fuck
next to her looked over his hey what are you doing yeah i'm just chilling man watching ball
game yeah she knew or he knew that his girl's sitting next to uncle doug yeah wait till you're
back today with a fresh cut yeah he's really going to be concerned. Oh, yeah. Well, he's there to not get to come on the show, so that was the rules.
I got a buddy who lives across the street from Wrigley.
I can get you the keys to his apartment if you need to fuck.
No.
Okay.
I'm an offer.
I'm trying to be a good host.
I'm trying to be a good host.
That is an outstanding offer, and I'm going to turn it down.
Okay.
I'll take you up on that, though.
Good man.
No, it's not for you.
It's Uncle Doug only.
You know that I've always had problems in the sunlight.
In the sunlight?
Yeah.
I can't help it.
I didn't realize it was like a 20, you know, not even 20 minutes, though.
He was a boy?
He had problems in the sunlight?
Oh, yeah.
He never could deal with the sun. So was that like his redness? I don't know. in 20 minutes though i mean wouldn't he was a boy he had problems oh yeah yeah he couldn't he never
could deal with the sun so was that like his no he would get sick yeah so that was his reputation
around town like that little boy brandon you know i don't know if it was reputation
it was in the family it was but i don't know about around town
don't leave that boy in the sun. That spreads.
He couldn't deal with the sun.
It's like, don't leave milk out for too long.
Don't put that boy in the sun.
He said, oh, yes, going down there.
It went below the upper deck.
But then in about 10 minutes, it went between.
Oh, yeah.
The little betweener there. It came back and it got him.
It came back, that got him.
He went back to the shed.
Then in about another 15 minutes, one more little spot,
the lowest spot, I can't deal with this.
Then it was nighttime.
You were playing hide and seek with the sun.
I was.
I told him, as soon as it got night and the sun was gone,
it's just, Wrigley's the best place in the world.
But before that, it was a little problematic.
You guys should sit in the bleachers today, pop top off yeah oh yeah nah who do you think we're
at today uh in the shade yeah in the shade well i hope i we're we're in we're in the upper deck
i told you you'll move around i know but i i will we'll figure it out dog i'm i'm hearing you got a
big bladder is that something you can confirm no? No. You took no piss breaks?
He was bragging on it about it.
And I told him, hell, I had a kidney took out last year.
So I ain't got but one.
So we got there at 4 o'clock, Big Cat.
We got there at 4 o'clock.
We went to the barbecue restaurant.
He had two beers or a beer?
You said 4.45, by the way.
Four is way too early.
4.30.
What?
I didn't.
It just now. You're Big 34. What? I didn't. It just now.
You're Big Cat.
Yeah.
That's Big Cat.
Don, somebody, wasn't it?
Dan.
Dan.
Yeah.
So Dan's Big Cat.
Yeah.
You'll actually, coming soon to West Point High Football,
my name will be on the light show.
Part of my name. Well, actually, all my name. The on the light show. Part of my name.
Well, actually, all my name.
The Brandan Walker.
Walker Light Show.
Yeah.
And Fieldhouse.
Yeah.
Y'all get that clear with Bud Bowen?
No, not yet.
Oh, who's Bud Bowen?
It's the man that's going to shut that down if you're not careful.
He's not going to shut it down.
Oh, Bud Bowen owes you guys already.
Oh, he's going to destroy you guys.
What is Bud Bowen going to do?
Bud Bowen?
No, no, no.
Time, time.
Oh, you're out of time.
We need to know about Bud Bowen.
My name's going to be on there.
I need to know Bud Bowen.
We have to have a talk with Bud Bowen?
All right.
No, Bud is the greatest person.
Bud is very similar to Uncle Doug.
Bud's an older gentleman.
He's been doing the radio for West Point High School football since 1970-something, 50 years.
And he kind of runs everything.
But I gave $10,000 to buy rings.
I gave two.
Yeah, so we gave $12,000.
So money talks.
But Bud will let you in.
Maybe Bud will let me in.
I feel like we might have to give Bud a little more money.
Bud has been on Walk the Line before, back in the day.
Way back in the day.
I've had Bud on Barstool stuff.
And he looks exactly like you think Bud Bowen ought to look.
But anyway.
Can we get Bud Bowen?
He's kind of a legend around Mississippi.
The way you said it, it sent shivers down Brandon's spine.
So am I.
Is Brandon a legend?
Do the locals know about him and of him?
Yeah, all the locals know about him.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know if I want to call him a legend yet.
Well, no.
Okay.
He's a, what would be the, I don't know.
Disappointment?
No.
Okay. To some, maybe. To don't know. Disappointment? No. Okay.
To some, maybe.
To who?
To who would I be disappointed?
A local trader?
To whom?
Nah, not a person.
Yeah, that's right.
Okay.
Um, anything else?
He's a celebrity.
We'll say that.
Yeah, he's a celebrity.
There you go.
Are we going to stop the show so you can get a picture with him?
We don't stop the show.
We will.
Yeah, I just didn't realize that.
I thought the interaction we had was a little...
Yeah, he didn't know who you were.
That's Big Cat.
I didn't get my answer.
Did you pee at all last night?
We got there at 4.45.
We left at 9. He had multiple beers.
He never peed. Never pissed once.
All night. I peed five times.
That's a...
If you stay in shape, you can control yourself.
I do.
You're not in the same shape as me.
He's got a bigger bladder.
Five?
Okay.
Yeah.
He's in the best shape.
Yeah.
And he's got one kidney.
And then I can barely walk because I've abused myself over the years.
Well, you just said you weren't going to change.
He wants to park or get let out about two miles from the stadium.
That's not what I did.
And we walk.
And walking here, you know, I got, what, two foot legs?
He's got six foot legs.
Right.
He's just getting in. Yeah, he's trying to show you up. He's trying to-foot legs. Right. He's just getting in.
Yeah, he's trying to show you up.
I'm running.
He's trying to show you up.
I would have made you walk.
I would have gotten you right.
No, we had to walk.
I would have had someone pick us up and carry us into our seats.
We had to walk to Southport after the game to get an Uber
because, you know, you've got to get away from the stadium a little bit.
So that's what we did.
He ran into some Ole Miss people, and he had to rag them a little bit.
And when he did that, he got to quick step in.
Yeah, I got a little pep in my step.
I know that pep.
I know that Brandon pep.
He did some rising and landing.
That's what happened.
I know that pep.
No, I was walking with them.
I was keeping up with them to make sure they know.
Oh, I thought you were scared of them.
Yeah.
I know that Brandon pep.
Yeah.
It's rare.
But when it comes out, it's.
I'm back there, you back there running to keep up.
So you guys are going to fish this weekend?
Yeah.
You can swear.
Yeah.
But he's not going to swear.
Say fuck.
You almost said fuck.
Hurt William, eh?
Yeah.
I think he was going to say for sure or something like that.
I don't think he was going to say fuck.
No, I probably wasn't going to say that.
No, he wasn't going to say that. He wasn't going to say that.
That would be like, now, my wife, she'll cuss a little bit.
She's going to not be happy about this, me telling this.
It's kind of a, she will get fired up.
Now, she'll sling some.
Yeah?
Oh, yeah.
The good ones?
She'll let it go?
Oh, yeah, anything.
The best ones?
Her favorite, what she thinks when she's not gonna
do it mfr you're an mfr yeah she won't say it but she'll just allude to it she'll make you say it in
your head oh she'll initially you mfr i say bleep bleep her you swear huh you swear brandon your
your mom swears too right oh yeah yeah yeah your your sister swears
yeah yeah so how did that i mean i guess we all swear yeah at night we'll ask forgiveness
yeah i guess i guess we all do uh i don't know i'm i've got a particular skill for it though
how's the hotel accommodations really good nice really good do you have a good trip
do you have a view no i did not a good trip. Did you have a view?
No, I did not have a view of the rooftop below me.
I had a view.
Uncle Doug, have you been prepped for the size of Brandon's boat?
No, I haven't.
I'm not looking for it. Oh, yeah.
Shit.
I may end up bank fishing.
Yeah.
I would do that.
It's three seats. seats we got plenty of
seats i know what they look like yeah three seats that's smaller than as big as that tv
yep exactly a little nervous for you in this boat yeah yeah so we're going fishing i'll be fine
once i get in and get sit down yeah now if i stand up somebody's gonna get you're not allowed
to stand up in the boat it's not big enough okay allowed to stand up in the boat. It's not big enough.
You can stand up in the boat.
Well, one at a time.
You just have to ask.
Because if you stand up, I've got to sit down.
We can't both stand up at the same time.
That would be crazy.
Yeah, we're going to go hopefully maybe by this afternoon,
but definitely tomorrow and Saturday we're going to go fishing.
Love it.
I'm excited.
And we won't have a fish fry afterwards i have to no yeah well i'd
love to come i'm not inviting these cretins to my fucking house what time i'd love to be there i'm
just now getting it up so i don't know probably one o'clock i'm in yeah yeah i'm not i'm not
cleaning fish got to if you're gonna eat them well yeah but them. You're going to host a fish fry.
But I don't keep my fish. I let them back in the lake
so I can catch them again.
You know that I don't kill the fish.
Well, Jesus did.
But does Uncle Doug kill the fish?
I'll kill them.
Yeah, alright, so we're good.
That's not a problem.
But then Brandon's problem is
if you kill the fish, what fish is he going to catch?
That's true.
Well, I don't think we'll clean the pond out.
Catch four or five fish, that's out.
Real quick.
Oh, is it?
Yeah.
Not a big deal.
Real quick.
It's a lake, not a pond.
At 20 acres, a pond becomes a lake.
Okay, that's the difference.
Yeah.
The 20 acres is cut up.
Anything bigger than 20 acres is a lake.
Anything lower than 20 acres is a pond. Anything lower than 20 acres is a pond.
This is 98.
What's the difference between a river and a creek?
Wet girth.
Girth.
Yeah.
Wet strength.
You don't need no help.
This is for him.
Link.
It hit my back.
And a creek, I believe, flows away from a body of water and a river flows to the ocean.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
Jam?
Jam.
You can't jelly this cock in your mouth.
Bam.
That's a good one, Doug, if you want to take that back to Mississippi.
Yeah, there you go.
Jam.
Cock. I got it. Jam. Talk.
I got it.
You got it.
I got it.
I like it.
Hell yeah.
All right.
Well, that was good.
I like Uncle Doug.
Good visit from Uncle Doug today.
I like you a lot.
I'm a pretty likable guy.
Yeah.
You're way more likable than Brandon.
I just want to live my life and leave me alone.
Yeah, right.
I'll entertain you a little bit if I can.
I got a good joke for you.
No, no, no.
Yes, yes, yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
No, no.
Can I not tell it?
Yeah, you can.
Yes, you can.
Yes.
It's on the edge.
It's not crazy.
I'll tell you if you need to stop. Okay. All right. That's all the edge. It's not crazy. I'll tell you if you need to stop.
Okay.
All right.
That's all it is.
Yeah, I'll let you know the minute you need to stop.
It's about a little lad, about six years old.
Okay.
Lives with his single mom.
Okay.
In the house one night, he hears something coming from his mother's bedroom down the hall.
He scoots down the hall and cracks the door and looks in
and she's in there rubbing herself saying oh i need a man i want a man please send me a man
he just sees the door back closed goes on next night he hears something from her room he goes back down the hall peeks in my
god there's a man in there he shuts the door back the next night she's fooling
around in the house you hear something coming from a little Billy's room she's
back and opens the door and he's laying on his bed rubbing himself. Said, oh, I need a bicycle. I want a bicycle.
Please bring me a bicycle.
That's a good joke, Brandon.
Come on.
That's a good joke.
Well.
He first told me that joke when I was four years old.
That's my favorite joke.
Is that a joke or a true story?
No, that's a joke joke he told me when i was
four years old and again when i was seven did you know he was gonna tell that joke we we discussed
the playbook last night he asked if he could tell a joke i said which joke he said that when i said
no and it got told anyway were there other jokes you can't tell no no no it's just that was the
only joke i don't know a whole lot. I just know that one.
That one's a great one.
It's a great joke.
I got a story.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes, please.
Yes.
What story would you tell?
This would be the story about when I got married and kind of was having a little problem with my wife.
Okay.
And I didn't understand.
I waited until I was 50 to get married.
Okay.
We got married and things just wasn't real smooth.
It was kind of rough.
So I asked my best friend, his name's Brian Askew.
I said, Brian, because he's been married a long time.
I said, man, we're just not communicating.
I mean, I'm having a hard time with this marriage thing.
He said, listen, all you've you gotta do is when y'all
get into it and she gets on your ass,
cry.
Just break down and damn cry.
Just squall like a baby.
Okay, I'll try that.
Well,
wasn't too much longer.
She's on me.
I just boohooed.
Most times they say that would do it for a woman like mine.
She said, you big pussy.
Oh, that's good.
I mean, that's good advice.
You start crying.
Oh, well, I thought it was.
It didn't work with me.
It did not work.
I love Doug.
Why don't you just go to the game by yourself brad
leave doug do you want to y'all want to take doug to the game let's just leave him i can uber yeah
oh you can't i learned uber where you did we did he's getting haircuts he's getting funk
hold on i had caitlin running uber point here she was she was calling uber to wherever he was he's yeah he learned tomorrow he's gonna i'm not a tech savvy person yeah yeah what's the biggest thing you've uh
killed hunting time time
a white tail deer would be yeah. That's a good answer.
That's a real good answer.
Are you a better fisher than Brandon?
Yeah.
Well, I mean, that's debatable at best.
I don't hunt.
I mean, you can have hunting, but I fish a lot.
Okay, and you're still not that good at it.
We'll find out.
Yeah, we'll find out very quick when we come to the fish fry.
I guess I don't really have any leg to stand on.
I did tell him yesterday, hey, I need you to come teach me how to catch more fish on this lake.
Oh.
That's why you brought him up.
I did bring him up. That's why you brought Uncle Doug up.
So he can show me how to access some of the fish I haven't been able to get to yet.
He's like Jason Bourne of fishing.
We've got to get these fish out of this world.
You know, if you're from Mississippi, you was raised up to either hunt or fish.
That's about it.
Play a little baseball.
Oh, what about some off-road, like ATVs or trucks?
Yeah.
Mudding?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What do you drive?
Now, I drive a Toyota pickup.
Yeah.
But now when he was a kid, and I still have the truck, it was a big old F-150 Ford, 1980
model Ford. Nice. Jacked up on 36-inch wheels. It's a big old F-150 Ford, 1980 model Ford.
Nice.
Jacked up on 36-inch wheels.
It's called Mud Puppy.
Mud Puppy.
Mud Puppy.
That was his name.
And then you went to Toyota.
Yeah.
It's not an American car.
It's made in Tupelo.
It pretty well is now.
Okay.
It's made in Tupelo.
There's a plant in Tupelo.
Are you a Mississippi State fan?
I was.
I told him yesterday I've got a nephew that plays football at the University of Kentucky.
Oh, okay.
That makes sense.
And so I'm a Kentucky fan.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And hopefully he's going to get to do some playing this time.
What does he play?
O-line center.
Nice.
Is he your cousin?
He's going to be the man what snaps the ball.
Center?
Other side.
Other side? Yeah. My wife. Center. Other side. Other side?
Yeah, he married.
Yeah, my wife.
My wife.
Yeah.
Big boy?
Yeah, he's 6'4", 300 and something.
Wow.
Just crazy.
So he's been there a year.
And from the time he got there.
Kobe Keenum, TJ.
Kobe Keenum.
Yeah, a year later.
That's a good name.
He's huge.
Why didn't he go to Mississippi State?
I tried. Yeah, we went. You couldn't he go to Mississippi State? I tried.
Yeah, we went.
You couldn't get him?
We went and visited State.
But I'm going to tell you, I went on several recruiting trips with Kobe.
The University of Kentucky was so impressive with what they offered.
It was beyond anybody else's.
Yeah.
Lexington's beautiful, too.
If he could have went anywhere he wanted to and he had the chance,
Penn State, beautiful.
Oh, yeah.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
But a little too far, you know, for him to get to go to the ballgames.
Yeah.
Are you going to go to a couple games this year?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we went to most all of them last year in Lexington.
Oh, nice.
So, we'll go to what we can. Yeah, got to be proud of them.
Oh, yeah. Especially
once he gets to start playing. Yeah.
We're really excited for that, and we think he will
this year. And I heard he's
really good at fishing, too, right?
He actually knows how. Sounds like he's got a great
nephew there. Yeah. Yeah, he's nephew number
one.
And he's in the sun a lot,
right? He's really.
Oh, your son don't even bother you.
Yeah, it doesn't bother me at all.
Yeah.
Oh, he can stay out there.
Yeah, thanks.
Yeah, he'll take his shirt off.
Oh, this guy.
Probably doesn't have to take a lot of pisses.
Big bladder.
Yeah.
All right, so we're going to go to the game.
We're going to go to Wrigley.
So we're going to check out.
Doug, do you want to do a sporkle?
He doesn't even know what that is.
I sure don't.
I don't know if I do or not.
Is it really a man or a woman?
It's a trivia game on the internet.
Clarify that.
If it's with a man, no, I don't.
It's a trivia game on the internet. About if it's with a man no i don't yeah it's a trivia game on the
internet about trivia whatever um oh we'll bring up a sample good at it yeah brandon was saying
you can't do it um okay so here here's it there's like seven ten categories eleven categories and
then you just name that first one for him on there like um one sex act in which one part
multiple other participants?
That's going to make him think something.
Eleven states that end in a consonant other than
S or Y.
A state that ends in a consonant
that's not S or Y.
A state. I'm asking you, yes.
A state that ends in a
consonant
that's not S or Y.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Like New York.
Mississippi.
New York.
That's a vowel.
You didn't say that about vowels.
I know.
I said consonants.
It has to end in a consonant.
Let's try this one.
Nine MLB pitchers with over 350 wins.
I didn't even hear.
Nine MLB pitchers with over 350 wins.
Jeez.
350? Yeah. That's a lot. Actually over 350 wins. Jeez. 350?
Yeah.
That's a lot.
Actually, no.
No Ryan.
Maybe.
I don't know if he...
Could be, yeah.
Yeah, I don't think so.
Bob Gibson.
Gibson, maybe too.
Didn't pitch long enough.
I don't even know this one.
It's all old guys.
Mickey Lolic, maybe?
Like Johnson, Walter Johnson.
Randy Johnson, maybe.
There's one obvious.
Yeah.
Walter.
Who's that?
Oh.
The obvious.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The awards are named.
Yeah.
What about Five Colors of Beans?
Oh, he'll get that one, no problem.
Jelly Beans?
No, no, no.
Five Colors of Beans sold by Goya.
Color used in the name.
It's like regular beans.
Green, red, brown. There you go. Five NFL teams Will sold by Goya. Color used in the name. It's like regular beans. Green, red, brown.
There you go.
Five NFL teams Will Compton played for.
There's no Will Compton.
Oh.
I thought that one would be really easy.
It is.
So you're making fun of me?
No.
More fun of Will Compton.
Careful.
Fun of Will Compton.
Yeah.
Watch yourself.
How do you say number two in Spanish?
Dos.
Yeah.
There it is.
And that's all I know, too.
I don't know any of the other ones.
French?
No one does.
So you think Germany is five.
No, that's yes.
I know.
That's another word.
It is.
It's facts.
11.
Can I do the states thing?
Yeah.
Oh, the three main proteins in turducken
chicken turkey duck there we go bang that one pretty good let's go yeah yeah i'm good
have you ever made that i'm good food question have you ever made it no oh no uh all right
new york is the only state i can think of wisconsin wisconsin yep washington uh-huh oregon oregon or gone
or uh
uh rhode island vermont rhode island connecticut kentucky connecticut no that's a y oh yeah it is a y uh
uh michigan michigan yes hello we need to get all these out for maryland
yep nice one brandon thanks great job brandon thank you uh uh? Yep. One more.
It's right there.
Right there.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Did we say Vermont?
No, that's an S.
What is the prompt?
Eleven states to end a consonant other than S or Y.
Illinois?
That's an S.
That's very much an S.
We have Connecticut, Maryland, Michigan, New York, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, Vermont, Washington, and Wisconsin.
So what else ends with an N?
Oregon, Washington.
Shit.
Oh, this is tough.
We got to get this.
Wyoming.
You got Texas?
Wyoming.
Let's go.
Brandon.
You got to go there.
Yep.
No, I've been there.
Idaho.
I'm going to Idaho, yeah.
You want to go to Idaho?
No.
No, this is a hard one.
Hell no.
All right. Well, I think we're going to go then. All right. We're going to Idaho, yeah. You want to go to Idaho? No. No, that's just a hard one. Hell no.
All right, well, I think we're going to go then.
All right.
We're going to – It was great to meet you.
Yes.
I'll get a picture with you later.
Are you coming in?
I'm going to be here later.
So we got to do it now.
Do it now.
Yeah, do it now.
I'm going to put my phone with me now.
We got phones?
Yeah, but that's not getting it to me.
We can text you the picture.
Okay.
All right, we'll do it.
Do it now.
I don't even know.
Hey, say hello to Julia Grace Keenum and Carter Reed, big cat.
Carter Reed?
Shout out Carter Reed.
Julia Grace Keenum.
Julia Grace Keenum.
Julia.
Julia Grace Keenum.
They're getting married here in a year or so.
Let's go.
And they're huge fans.
Think of me and Uncle Doug when you had sex the first night.
Could you come to the first night.
Could you come to the funeral?
Funeral?
Could you come to the wedding?
Let me know.
I might come to the wedding.
Is Brandon invited?
Probably not.
Yeah, if he wants to.
No, if Brandon's not going, I'll go. I don't know if they're really fans of Brandon's.
They are you, though.
I love that.
I love both of them.
It's many years of happy marriage.
All right, let's take a picture.
Do you want to do the High Noon ad?
Yeah. I will read the High Noon ad
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I want to hire Doug
I want Doug
In my life
Knee Doug
He's so much better than Brandon
He's like Bizarro Brandon really
He dominated every second of that conversation
Yeah
He's a legend
I want Doug
You asked him what the biggest thing he's killed is
And he said time
I'll think about that the rest of the day
That's such a good thing
Profound
It was deep
No hesitation
That's like an instant
I'm going to get Doug's phone number
Name your price
We need him
He'd just hang out
How much do you think we'd have to pay Doug to work here?
I don't know, like $1,200 a year?
I'd actually like him to make more money.
Like two grand?
I mean...
I'm interested in...
Tell Doug I'm interested in hiring him.
So what you want to do
Is hire some old yokel from the south
To not do anything
Doug was doing a lot there
He was
He carried
Telling jokes, telling stories
Telling wisdom, wit, confidence
Not a bad joke
Not a total package really
Yeah he's a triple threat.
What do you name the three threats?
Shoot, pass, dribble?
No, name his three threats in this context.
Hit for power, hit for average.
Sit.
Y'all are just...
Make fun of Brandon.
Uh-huh.
Speak fluent in Spanish.
He got dosed fast.
Did he not?
Yeah, he did.
Bye, Brandon. Bye, Brandon. Have fun.
Don't let the sun beat you up.
The sun's going to fucking kick his ass today. He's feeling very cool again.
Yeah, he is.
He's feeling awesome.
He is. Awesome.
Yeah, we, by the way, we have
can you do the, TJ, can you do the top level camera
on the second floor oh there he is there he is there he is back he's back oh brandon shit we forgot what the oh yeah we need him fuck oh brandon
get back here brandon
i like this morning mince he was like had people filming him upstairs he's like let's see what i'm
walking into what am i walking into. What am I walking into?
And Big Cat from his office was like, work?
Work.
You're just coming into work.
You're coming to work.
Yeah.
Like all of us. Literally, exactly.
Let me see what this building.
But everyone else here is doing.
What's the catch?
And I was like, work.
Yeah.
We were going to throw him like a welcome home party.
We're going to have to, listen, I wanted to try something new with Mincy,
see if we could
get some more work out of him that didn't work i'm glad we tried yeah i it cost us nothing to
try cost him a flight back um but yeah he oh shit brandon brandon get in here he uh the first sign of pressure and he couldn't handle it
mincey like he i texted him monday night tuesday night saying don't try too hard don't try too hard
he just he kept on replying with like oh you see that old miss walk off just random things just
not internalizing it and then last night he's like i think i might have tried too hard oh yeah
i was like yeah i think so but he did say that he realized that he likes being in
the office and maybe his trips will be more like fridays and mondays oh baby steps yeah therapy
yeah where it's like that's a good idea mincy instead of going away for a week just do the
fridays and mondays but he's going right back by the way he's going back thisays. But he's going right back, by the way. He's going back this afternoon.
Oh, so he's –
Oh, what?
He's going right back.
So is the stipulation still on?
So the problem is tomorrow is technically a half day.
We're going to have a yak, but tomorrow is a half day, and I can't –
I'm not going to police him on weekends.
Holiday weekend.
Yeah, like I can't tell him what to do with his weekends.
Yeah, let's just see.
So I think he's off the hook now.
Let's see if he naturally goes viral.
Yeah, right.
Like he's off the hook for the weekend. He's back he's gonna have fun and it's a long weekend
we're off monday long weekend he's got extra days to cook something up but yeah the experiment
probably didn't work i'll be the first to admit it we tried again it was the first time i asked
him to do anything and he wasn't able to do it but that's fine well an experiment yields results
right it did work in a way we know it's not going to work again i think in the back of my head i was
hoping he would be like maybe do a man on the street video yep maybe do something different
it just was vandy whistler again yeah and then the second day him going through that uh house
like the inflatable house he was trying to if he did that naturally right did that right yeah so we're gonna take the handcuffs off and we tried
but it failed yeah she's gotta be mincey out in the wild it's worth a shot yeah i mean i enjoyed
watching him like he did the the vandy whistler thing we all retweeted it and then he took a
victory lap and it was like but buddy you gotta do it you gotta do it tomorrow i think he forgot that part so yeah he's back but yeah
brandon oh fuck we got to get that video the one big thing where he just left Hey, are you still here?
Yeah.
We got the ad, the Mincy ad.
Can I send it to you guys?
Send it to TJ.
That works.
All right, all right.
Send the whole thing.
Send the DM too.
All right.
I don't know what he's doing.
Picture of them getting dominated by the sun at the game.
Oh, yes.
That's when it stuck back through.
That's incredible.
That's exactly when it stuck back through.
Fucked him up.
God bless whoever took that picture.
Absolutely fucked him up.
Did the pitcher take that?
Yeah, that.
It came right back through and just said not.
You thought you were good, Brandon?
No fucking way.
I like that Doug doesn't go sunglasses.
Oh, my God.
It's perfect.
Yeah, so the only good thing that happened with Mincy was he might have gotten a big ad deal.
Oh, well, that's good.
Yeah, because if he's on the road and you know
and he's maybe not going viral but if he's getting ad deals making money then yeah that's good for
the company probably have him come down here and tell us so that's a travel center that's a positive
oh man i'm come down before his flight
i i had to do he had to have some kind of consequence once
you brought it up the other day
one time where it's like
you didn't do it
I gotta be honest I didn't think he would actually come back to Chicago
yeah
this is funny
he actually finally had a consequence
I kinda love it
the first consequence of his life
what I really wanted to see is him go viral every day.
Right.
The idea of him flying back just to say I'm here and then get back on a plane.
Yeah.
It's very funny.
The pressure of the viral just didn't work.
I was thinking maybe I could do like, it would be funny if he was gone for a week
and every day we spun a wheel being like, here's the number you have to read.
Oh, that's good.
But I still think the pressure, he crumbles any a little bit of pressure yeah and he'll still he
he kind of doesn't have any gumption about it like he'll still just like wait i just i didn't
like his approach with the vandy whistler one where he's like i'm good i'll have the video
that'll go viral this will go super mega viral. And even yesterday, he's like, I got three super bangers.
It's like you can't just do that, Vincy.
Super bangers.
Super bangers that you're sitting on.
You got to be pumping shit out.
That's the only way you have a chance.
His volume was higher.
It was higher yesterday.
He was trying harder.
No, he wasn't.
Yeah, he was.
What did he do? He did more than he did. He did trying harder. Come on. No, he wasn't. Yeah, he was. What did he do?
He did more than he –
He did three events at a carnival.
I don't think he would have gone to the carnival.
A toddler would have naturally done what he did.
But I don't think he would have gone to the carnival.
Yeah, Doug bodied him hard.
And I love how you're confusing pressure for work.
Right, right.
But it is.
It's pressure.
He also thought, because the world revolves
around mincy he thought that brandon was sitting with the vandy whistler at the s yeah tournament
yeah he thought brandon was he the picture of him and doug when brandon tweeted it mincy was like
how does this relate to my life and he he was like, come here, Mincy.
Here he is.
What time is your flight back?
3.35 flights.
You got to get going.
Prodigal son.
You got to get going.
All right. So what happened with the, we talked before.
I think we're going to take the restrictions off the viral because you can't handle it.
I didn't handle it.
Yeah.
I definitely didn't. I feel like it's like if I have any awareness, it ruins it all.
Right.
You know?
And I'm just trying to figure out.
No, you're just trying to coach.
I'm a coach.
Like, all right, do I go hard?
Do I go soft?
I think we got to stay soft.
Yeah.
I think like anything, you evolve.
You change.
Yeah.
You reassess.
It's a, you know.
You did learn the lesson that maybe you take trips Friday and Monday.
I think that's the compromise here.
Yeah.
Three days a week.
He's going to work three days a week.
That's a good compromise.
No, I come back on Monday.
No, I look.
I always do, when I do the South stuff, I take the 6 a.m. Monday morning.
Yeah.
I'm back by like 10.
Yeah.
But, no, I think the big thing, I did try to force it too much yeah that's okay
yeah no i try like you said though i there was an effort there was an effort there was there was
definitely an effort so and the one i want to address was because i was catching some flack
about when i almost took the cage down yesterday i had no so the dude was pitching i had no idea
he was gonna throw at me i literally that i had no freaking clue yeah at all
the ball was your plan to go viral in that scenario i was just getting in there swinging
batting cage stuff and just just trying to get i was trying to get volume clips out what was your
in your head what was the best case scenario in that batting cage i just was up there swinging
the damn bat hoping something would happen yeah and but the thing is those balls he was throwing
at me weren't hard baseballs so him throwing at me like wouldn't have hurt me as bad so he just
decided to mess with me but i had no idea that pitch was coming so just so you know i i don't
expect anything from you going forward okay that's a good thing no yeah but i hope pressure off but
i don't know more pressure yeah but no more pressure. Yeah, but no more pressure.
Be yourself.
Just go out there and be Mincy.
You did – wait, so the Vandy Whistler – you thought Brandon was sitting with the Vandy Whistler?
Oh, I definitely did.
That's no joke at all because the second I saw the tweet,
and you all see I had a quote to it where I go, what the hell,
because I thought – because it was during the Mississippi State game.
Right.
And so I was like – and then I was dealing with all this stuff with the all-up here,
and I was like, oh, it would be the funniest thing, most barstool thing ever
if they sent Brandon down there.
With the Vandy Whistler.
With the Whistler.
Fuck with you.
When I was going through.
And so I immediately was like, that is such a barstool move.
Right.
And so I had Moody sitting with me.
I had Moody literally scanning the crowd.
He looked for the mississippi
state dugout i was like the whistler usually did he look at wrigley yeah he didn't look at
you see brandon's screenshot of the texas cinema i said but where are you want to come say hello
yeah he's like because i literally i thought i i thought i literally thought that was it
does the sec tournament have like rooftop and also like it's across the street
yeah the fact is thousands and thousands of people there were there were about 10 15 000
at the game wrigley's a little bigger than all the cubs gear that everyone's wearing in the
background you know what really got me him wearing the yellow the vein he's wearing the air
he's wearing the vandy yellow right there and that's a braves hat there's a
but i mean you'd see that at the SEC Braves hat at the
SEC true but Cubs Cubs man they're Cubs fans everywhere there's a Cubs thing's national
because everybody grew up watching on WGN I mean I've got a ton of Louisiana friends that are Cubs
so all right so the last thing was you maybe got an ad, though. I've got a very, very promising lead.
Oh.
Very, very.
Oh, this is big time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what is it?
I'm going to share it on the air.
Yeah.
Okay.
I was approached by the vice president of Expedia.
Whoa.
The vice president?
Yeah.
So that's pretty hot.
I'm texting with the president right now.
You're texting with the president?
Expedia, yeah. Of course, as everything always goes to Barstool yeah he was he was at of course as as
everything always goes to barstool he was definitely asking me about dan but but right
but he wanted to i actually sent him a sample ad read you sent him a sample ad read can we watch it
tj of wow well you don't have to send and this is something you sent to the president yeah
he wanted to send it's that time of year.
Time for vacations, time for adventure, and time to hit the open road in America.
And I'm happy to share that you'll be able to find me around the country this summer on the Mincy Tour.
The newly branded Mincy Tour 2024 is going to be a partnership with my pals at Expedia.
Whether you're Stella, the king of the toys, or Mincy, king of the south, Expedia is there to help you plan your next trip.
Next, I'll be waking up in Omaha in a few weeks to go to the College World Series.
And right now, I'm at Destiny's Attorney at a badass tailgate with my LSU friends in Hoover,
Alabama.
And then we're going to the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas with the help of Expedia's
easy-to-use flight search and hotel bookings.
So if you want to join me on the Mitzi tour or just scratch your travel itch,
you can save time and money using Expedia promo code MITZY,
M-I-N-T-Z-Y, for 10% off your next travel purchase.
Terms and conditions apply.
Let's get out and let's hit America.
It's going to be a great time. You nailed that. You killed that. 4-0, yeah. Heys and conditions apply. Let's get out and let's hit America. It's going to be a great time.
I should remember
it was a long read and I tried to
practice it a few times but
it was a lot. You got the cadence down though.
They wanted me to get fired up
about getting out and take it to America.
Did you send that to TJ? How did TJ get that?
I don't know. That guy must have...
The guy that the DM saw, that was the
VP guy. Let's see his profile.
The guy who hit me up, he was from Lafayette, Louisiana originally.
He must be a big shot.
This is the VP of marketing?
This is the VP of experience?
That was the guy who said he was the head of marketing.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Come on.
Are we all trolled, Minsky?
I can't do it.
I didn't troll you at all, Minsky. I can't do it. I didn't troll you at all, Mincy.
I can't do it.
How do you think that guy looked at his Twitter?
It took one look.
That's the VP of marketing?
Oh, no.
Mincy.
God damn it.
God.
I thought I was doing good.
Mincy, look at his Twitter account Who am I texting
This president
That's asking for Dan
I don't know but
He sent
This guy sent Brandon
This message
Two days ago
I have a way to troll Mincy
Tomorrow on the Yak
I literally already have it all set up.
Y'all just need to do the work.
Would be way funner to see y'all do it.
Can you send it to me?
And then the Yak, in the Yak text message.
Oh, no.
Y'all good.
Y'all good.
Not that good.
Not at all.
This guy did it on his own.
Well, that dude's good.
On the Yak text message, Brandon sent it to us,
and then Nick said, can we get that guy to ask for a sample ad?
And then I said, and then after he gives a sample,
have him tell Mincy the only way we can get a deal done
is if he has a meeting with Big Cat.
So he did ask for the meeting.
Sucks.
Mincy, we got to have a better alert on our brains about...
Show his Twitter picture again.
I like that the guy didn't try and replace his profile picture
with something corporate or anything.
He just kept it to himself.
That's the VP of Expedia.
Right there.
And for people who think this is fake,
Mincy texted me on Tuesday night and was like,
I got a great lead with the Expedia VP.
Expedia VP.
Master level troll.
This one stings, boys.
Yeah, this one was what the guy sent to you.
He sent it to Brandon.
That is funny as hell.
I will say that but
okay all right well let's go out and get some deals yeah all right good luck
sec tournament we got some stuff going yeah are you going to memphis this weekend
maybe yeah okay we knew that yeah we know where you're going i mean you know friday saturday yeah
we still had the weekend. It's the weekend.
I was very happy when you said come back.
Like, I was definitely worried about that.
Yeah, no, I can't police your weekends.
Yeah.
Go have some fun.
We're going to go see getting the whole Ole Miss crew together for panic.
Fuck yeah.
And get this same as it ever was for the last 20 years.
Fuck yeah.
Are you going straight to Memphis now?
No, I'm going.
We're going back to Birmingham.
Oh, love it.
My car's in Birmingham.
Love it.
All right.
Trying to make, I mean, trying to, you know,
I mean, there's some SEC tourney games today.
Yeah, get on the plane.
Let's go.
Get to the airport.
All right.
Get back out there.
Get back out there.
God, I'm such an idiot.
How do I focus?
I don't know.
But that was actually the funniest part of the whole trip.
All right, get back out there, Mincy.
Go be you.
I'm just such an easy guy.
Come on.
Go, Mincy.
You got it.
Send him back out in the wild.
No pressure.
He did it.
Maybe it's on Expedia's radar now.
Came all the way back, and now he's going back out.
I did tell Donnie all about the Expedia thing.
I was like, that's a perfect partnership.
Yeah, I'm sure you told everyone.
Oh, I can see.
All right.
See ya.
We're sending him back out.
Catch and release Mincy.
And he's tagged.
Yeah.
And he's tagged. That was it.
Gently let him go.
Came on back.
Get back out there, buddy.
Let him go. Aw. Let's see where he on back. Get back out there, buddy. Let him go.
See where he goes next.
That Expedia guy, by the way, we did not set that up.
No.
He literally did it on his own.
He did it on his own, and he sent it to Brandon, and we're just like, okay.
We had nothing to do with it.
I love how he said, you guys are good.
Yeah, we did nothing.
Nothing.
The guy just DM'd him with that Twitter picture.
With the most basic, like, hey, this is my face.
Yeah.
There's no Expedia in my account.
Nothing.
My header is a Baltimore Orioles.
Oh, man.
I'm actually, I know I shouldn't be.
I'm actually kind of shocked by that one.
No, nothing.
I know I shouldn't be, but I'm.
Hell yes.
Yeah, he was all in.
I wonder how many deals he's got into like this.
Oh, a ton. That he's like, oh, the bottom just fell out. Hell yes Yeah he was all in I wonder how many deals He's got into like this Oh A ton
That he's like
Oh the bottom just fell out
Yeah he's got deals all the time
Get back out there buddy
That's crazy
I like
That hurt
That
No
That was
That hurt my soul.
It didn't even register on my.
No pain was felt.
Nothing.
I felt a little pain there.
He doesn't feel it.
You shouldn't feel it.
Just in general.
I just.
The profile picture was a pretty dead giveaway.
I saw a picture.
I'm an idiot.
Brandon and Brandon's uncle at a baseball game.
I mean.
He's got a fucking Baltimore Orioles Omarioles omar yeah what's his last tweet yeah his replies are fuck moog xpedia
yeah the guy who if there even is a president would have to be a multi-millionaire yeah Back to work tomorrow. This guy rocks. Patty Bo.
Back to work tomorrow.
Now you understand why Mincy would get duped.
Yeah, most VPs would tweet back to work tomorrow at Expedia.
No effort.
Zero effort.
Yeah, he didn't change his Twitter or anything.
Nothing was changed.
Just said back to work at Expedia.
Steven, you're back.
Steven.
We need it.
Yeah.
How are you feeling?
Great.
Great.
Looking good.
Yeah.
Did you ever get any?
No one ever came up to you about the diarrhea?
No, I did go in the pool and the hot tub.
But it was not like Montezuma's revenge diary it was i just
had too many sugary drinks in a short amount of time yeah tasteful it's a good reset yes yes very
good reset my wife read three books i read 22 pages of a magazine and was on twitter a lot
okay that's good stats three books you're three a three book-book wife? That's a lot of books.
Over the course of a week?
Five days, four and a half days.
God damn.
That's a lot of refusing conversation with Stephen Jay.
We're laying on the beach taking naps.
I'd feel comfortable with one, maybe two books,
but three is like you're kind of showing up.
How little can I talk to Stephen Jay?
It includes airplane time.
I'm a movie airplane guy.
That's a fucking lot of books.
She's one of us.
It's a book a day almost.
Three books is insane.
That's an insane amount of books.
You're going to start bringing a book to the air.
She must have been.
That must have been all book for her that vacation yeah a lot of book
she even see the beach she's book i i watched a couple game sevens uh books novelettes perhaps
pretty thick books new york times bestseller i don't know what they were wow she hates you
did she hit a point when you asked her to record another drink review for you
where she was like, come on.
So actually it was her idea.
So I was like a day and a half into drinking.
She was like, oh, why don't I record you doing a review?
And I was like, that's a great idea.
And then that turned into our next two hours and then me editing them.
And then I got diarrhea and the whole thing kind of fell apart.
It ruined the day actually.
You put down like eight big drinks.
Like seven in like two hours, and then it was, yeah,
we had some problems after that.
Did you act up?
Did you guys do anything fun or wild?
Nothing crazy.
I mean, we were taking naps on the beach, laying down on the water.
What was the highlight for you?
Highlight of the trip? I don't know just relaxing it's nice to
get away and like unplug I
live a pretty simple lifestyle
you stink at gambling
again
yeah I had a bad pick
you're negative what three units
this season no no no
what are you?
I don't know, like 2.1 or something like that.
2.4.
How could I?
How could I?
I'll finish up.
I have some promising futures.
I need the Timberwolves to win, though.
At least win the conference.
Win this round, and I'll be all right.
You excited for Roofball?
Yes, next Thursday.
Thursday, yes.
And our guys are back. Who's our guys Next Friday. Next Thursday. Thursday, yes. And our guys are back.
Yeah.
Who's our guys?
Oh, Ron and Sass, yes.
Yes, we have it set.
So we have it set.
So it's all of us.
Kate, her back is broken.
Ron, Sass, Max, Jerry, and then who am I?
Oh, and the homeowner.
Yeah.
So it's 12 people.
I talked to Adam Willis yesterday. And then who am I? Oh, and the homeowner. Yeah. So it's 12 people.
I talked to Adam Willis yesterday.
Top two will receive an invite to the U.S. Open.
Oh.
In Oregon.
Big time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Huge.
Yeah, I'm not going to throw it.
No.
I'll maybe do a cash prize, too.
Oh, yeah.
Probably have to do a cash prize. We're doing that live?
Yeah.
Live.
Yeah. The last last one i had just
come back from vacation early so i rolled up to it and it was like it like brought me back to like
my neighborhood days of like playing with your friends it was like genuinely really good time
what tj what is the um what how do we do it last time where it's like top person from each group goes and then how many wild cards?
So this year we have 12 people playing.
So it would be the top person from each group of three and then two wild cards.
Two wild cards.
So that would make six.
And then you do it again.
Yes.
And then the top two that the winner of each semifinal plus a wild card makes the final.
Oh, I love it.
This is gonna be great.
Yeah. Monday, obviously, we don't have a show because it's Labor Day.
Memorial Day.
Memorial Day.
Fuck.
It's okay.
My bad.
My bad.
Why is Nick moving again?
What the fuck?
Why is he moving?
He just moved.
He's doing it piece by piece.
He's doing the heavy lift today.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, today's the furniture
today's the big stuff yeah he's been doing air mattress did he ask any of you guys to help
no no i wouldn't either yeah yeah he didn't i should have asked no i don't think you should
have i just i was just curious if he was no i should have him and brandon trapped me they
pulled me into the anus studio and they're like nick's moving and i was like oh that's great you know and then we were
talking about the area they're like you failed the first thing you should have asked is can i help
in any way and i didn't even cross my mind no not even for a single second did i consider helping
i feel like that's a 25 and older there's no you move on higher movers yeah grow up under 25 i can see it like i remember
when i moved when maybe like 22 had some friends help no yeah yeah that's it i think there's one
piece of furniture if it's like one why wouldn't you but you have a mover hire movers for a reason
yeah yes but if you if you did it all yourself and you have like one couch i would never do this but i'm at a point in life if you asked me to help you move i would assume
you met like can i give you some money to hire the mover yeah yeah i just can't help me i'd be
like yeah here's 100 bucks i would assume i would assume you had like temporary paralysis and you're
actually asking me to move you physically like to the bathroom or something surely you don't mean
can you come over to my house?
I did it with my roommates in Philly,
but that's because they were like, I was already there.
They're moving shit in.
I'm going to offer to help out.
Yeah.
And you're still young.
Young-ish.
Yeah, but at this point,
I'm not going to ask Nick or KB to help me move.
No.
I'm just going to move. Of course not.
I was just curious if Nick tried to float that idea.
No, because Nick, he would volunteer to help me move.
But I think he has.
So now I feel bad.
He's too nice.
Yeah.
He's a nice guy.
Way too nice.
Did you guys see, whoa, ghost riding it.
Did you guys see the Rico mop thing?
Because it was so funny.
No.
No.
That was hilarious.
Can't keep up with this dude.
I have a lot going on this is a story
that's actually been going around in the barstool chicago office because jack mccarthy found it out
two days ago oh and i told i gave him a i was like do not say a word you have to save for a name show
so when we did the barstool invitational rico was the mop guy yeah Yeah, I remember. It turns out like six months ago,
he hit up Quigs and he asked Quigs
to edit the mop out of all the pictures.
No.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Oh, I love this man.
So he could put the picture up in his basement.
It looked like he was a coach or something.
And he wanted to send it to coaches.
Look at this.
Next level.
So good.
It's incredible.
Holy shit.
I fucking love Rico.
Wait, show the last one.
The last one's my favorite because it's like he's so clearly holding a mop.
Kind of looks sick.
No man has ever stood like that without a mop.
Chopping it up with a rest. I think it look sick. No man has ever stood like that without a mop. Chopping it up with a rest.
I think it looks awesome.
So, yeah, he put it in his basement.
It's up in his basement?
Yeah, I think it's framed in his basement.
He did this without telling anyone?
Not a soul.
Quiggs is going to have to go to some deprogramming camp
because he should have told me right away, but he did not.
He knew there would be a payoff.
Yeah, he told Jack McCarthy last weekend when be a payoff yeah he told jack mccarthy
last weekend when they were out for drinks and then jack told everyone how long ago did he do
this so fun it was like november oh it was like right after yeah invitation so it's like
what are you doing quigs you got to be letting you got to alert everyone oh shit
he definitely sent that to coaches too
what do you mean sent it to coaches
probably being like see me on the court
yeah
he probably sent it to Dusty May
being like look at this great picture of us
he said the mop brought up bad memories
so he didn't want to have the picture with the mop
he's like well you could just not have the picture
yeah oh my god all time Rico he's so good of bad memories so he didn't want to have the picture with the mop. You could just not have the picture.
All time Rico.
All time.
Oh man.
We're going to put those up in our office.
All six of them.
I think a whole hallway of just...
With or without mop?
No, it's going to go with, without.
With, without.
So you walk down the hallway and you see the evolution.
I wish we had a camera in Quiggs' brain for the moment he got the request.
Well, that was the craziest part, too, was Rico said, how much to get the mop out of these?
He wouldn't have paid.
That was an empty offer.
It's also very, like, code-worded, like, worded like mafia like hey can you take care of
this mop for me it is a strange misfire from quigs did not tell anybody crazy sit on that
that doesn't feel like that doesn't feel like him but in a weird way like i've maybe i've just spun
this too much of my brain but like i'm happy that quigs i'm happy that rico still thinks there's
people that won't tell others.
Yeah.
Because then we don't get these moments.
Yeah, right.
I don't know if this will be the last one, but he'll probably trust someone again.
I'm sure he has more already.
Yeah, there it is.
See?
That's amazing.
Oh, my God.
That's the best.
That is the funniest Incredible
He's
He's too good
He's too good
He's so good
Oh man
He's so good
He had it up in his mouth
He couldn't look at it with the mop
so you go visit it
you're someone that's not
you don't fully understand what Rico does
in the Barstool universe you're not well versed
in all this but you know
you went to high school with Bosco whatever you know him
you're one of his neighbors something like that
he invites you over
you're walking through his house you notice like that. He invites you over. You're walking through his house.
You notice the picture.
You point.
You're like, oh, what's the basketball?
Oh, you were on the court.
And he says what?
Yeah.
What does he say?
He absolutely has a spiel.
He's like, I was on staff for two or three years.
See if you can zoom in.
I want to ask.
I want to know what that answer is.
I want to know that answer.
Yeah. That is a great question yeah what is his answer when someone's like oh shit
oh you were on the court for this like were you just coaching him up we gotta take care of this
mop we gotta get we gotta mop we gotta get it we gotta get we gotta make this mop disappear
look at me no traces you to take care of that mop.
Got to take care of that mop.
I'll be good to you.
Just get rid of that mop.
How much to take care of that mop?
Wait, I think that was, I'll read it. What a mop hit, man.
You need to clean up a mess for me.
There's a mop in this picture.
Yeah, he said.
You think you're the guy for the job?
How much to get the mop out
and then and then and then quick said i'll make it disappear for you and he said all of them thanks
just don't publicize it so good oh man he's the best it's a lot to absorb it is that mop
it also like Makes you think like
Rico's crazy enough
Did he go
To the game
Being like
I gotta
I gotta use this mop
Get close to guys
Knowing Quigs will take it out
I think he did
Like I gotta get
That was all premeditated
Yeah
Didn't look like he needed
To be there with the mop
The only reason he ever
Agreed to do the mop
In the first place
Was to get on the court
And get close to dudes Yeah Close enough with the mop in the first place was to get on the court and get close to dudes.
Close enough with the mop.
The mop bought him that access.
And then what does he do?
Turns his back on the mop.
Every second of that night that Rico was there was content.
Yeah.
I'm thinking back on that night.
We had the half-court shot when Jerry hit the shot on Rico.
There was the spilled drink saga.
But it was all the content he didn't want.
And just when you think, all right, it was like a two-hour night.
We got an hour and a half out of Rico content.
He's like, no, there's more.
Once later, there's still more.
Once later, and we're still closing the bookend.
It's a gift that keeps giving.
The bar's still invitational.
Was he grumpy about having to mop? Oh, so mad.
So, so mad.
Furious.
Yes.
He was embarrassed, ashamed to have had to mop.
So, so mad.
Because it was a punishment, right?
Remember Smoke spilled a drink, and then Rico was enraged about that, and he was grumpy
about having to do the mop.
He was fighting with Smokes about it.
The whole thing, he was just in a terrible mood.
I told him I would get him on the clock,
but the NCAA runs the clock, so it's like,
couldn't do that, so it was mop.
When you confronted him with this,
is that when he found out it was on the unnamed show?
He had an idea.
Okay.
When Jack tweeted, like,
I've heard a story that I can't believe it's real
a couple days ago,
so I think Rico had known that the mop was about to get exposed.
The gig was up.
Oh, I wish I was at that table with a margarita.
Just out for drinks and something like that comes in.
Yeah, and he tells it for the first time.
You know Quigs has more secrets.
Quigs has to have a ton of secrets.
He must hold on to shit.
Yeah, no, we're going to deprogram him, like I said.
We're going to put him through exposure therapy. Torture him. Like, here's a ton of secrets He must hold on to shit Yeah, no, we're gonna deprogram him, like I said Yeah We're gonna put him through exposure therapy
Torture him
Like, here's a picture of a terrorist
Are you a rider?
Quiggs is dangerous
Yeah
He's a weapon
Yeah, it's gonna be like the, what is it, the McCarthy hearings
When they thought everyone was a communist
Yeah
Yeah, we're gonna have to bring him to trial
Yep
And just be like, have you ever been or associated with riders?
He's going to be on a blacklist.
Did he respond, TJ?
Oh, there he is.
Rico.
What's up?
We're just retelling the mob story.
It's funny.
Yeah. Lose one friend. L lose all friends lose yourself eric matthews what it's a boy me twigs quigs you're mad at quigs
no it is what it is lose one friend lose all friends lose yourself
eric matthews eric matthews is the photo still hanging it was it's not hanging i haven't
decorated the basement yet but i'm planning to but it might not make the cut now as i'm realizing
so what that video was that video fake i think that video was fake dan yeah unfortunately we
got some photoshop well no no no we know that part of it was fake because there was no mop right but is the is the whole video fake
uh no i was doing that stuff but the background is fake yeah so the question is what if someone
if you had put it up and someone come over and been like oh when was this like well i didn't
know you were on on like the court what would you have said i said i probably would have told
the story yeah i got i was doing the
mop but took it out because it makes me depressed but you could have just not had the picture up
yeah i think it's not going to make the cut because i don't think any pick them yeah what
we'll see what no i don't i mean well it's not going to make the cut like the pick them photos
will be there different stuff like that so um what you
know what's what are the riders thinking right now it's war times now huh tighten the circle yeah
tighten the circle can't trust anybody who do we blame i mean it was it was a quigs but is it jack
mccarthy well i mean if you know you get to get those those meetings on saturdays those little
happy hours they do they might as as well be ISIS fucking meetings.
You know, it's whatever.
But you're ISIS.
Get up, do coke.
Talk about you.
Yeah.
Exactly.
So I'm a very simple guy.
Like, I think Mark will attest to that.
All I want to do is, like, just talk bull.
Yeah.
My group chats are sets and drills and fucking different things like
that rico did uh the sopranos have any influence over this decision when silvio got tony made into
a general and hung up the painting in his house uh no i just wanted a cool picture okay yeah it
was a cool picture cool picture hey i thought the mop was awesome i thought you could have stuck
with the mop you didn't have to do it i think you like that Hey, I thought the mop was awesome. I thought you could have stuck with the mop.
You didn't have to do it.
I think you look cool with the mop.
Yeah.
What was it about the mop, though, Rico?
Because you're a guy that respects everyone on staff.
You're a guy who understands what goes into being a great college basketball team.
I feel like you're someone who should know that managers on college basketball teams matter
and are the backbone, the foundation
of these teams
to where you should understand the importance of
working them up.
The second
year wasn't as bad. The first year was worse.
I guess the trick is the whole thing.
Mark brings up a good point.
What if you're sitting at home
or maybe you're at work,
you're a janitor, you're a rider yeah you turn on the unnamed show what yeah yeah it's a good point
like there's got to be at least one of those guys out there sitting there like what if that's your
end with nate oats on staff what if nate oats calls and he's like bosco we want you on staff
we just got to start you at the bottom you got to work them up yeah for Bama basketball you're saying no to that good point it's a good
point no I like where I'm at right now Rico would be texting Rico would be texting Trey being like
is there any way to get an invisible mop um if you if you saw Jack face to face would you have
any words with him would you say anything to them or would you just be...
It's just par for the course.
They pick on the low end.
They know what's going on.
Jack!
Get in here! They go after the
little guys.
Here he comes.
So friendship meant something.
This is so perfect.
Get in here. Bosco's on.
This is a perfect scandal. It is. Get in here. Bosco's on. This is a perfect scale.
It is.
It's Bob Gates.
So you got to find it funny, Rico.
It is funny.
It's not like a bad thing. It's just funny.
What do you want to say?
What do you want to say to Jackie Skell?
The Skell head in chief.
I just thought, I mean, I just thought friendship meant something, you know, Jack?
Oh, yeah.
Like when you call me a coke head on air for like a year.
Good point. No, I made
references. I made references.
You got your whole army.
Every Saturday, I wake up to just coke
me.
I'm not gonna lie. They're funny, but
like, don't sit here and be like, friendship, this,
that story's insane, bro.
Like, the second Quade showed me that, I was like,
I'm telling the world.
I'm so happy you did.
All right, so where are you?
Deal.
I'll handshake emoji right now.
We're good.
But you can't expect that information.
It is true.
I'm just going to cross my desk and not tell everyone.
You have made the whole internet be like, Jack's a cokehead.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
And he's only bought coke for me once.
No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, when we were down at the you one time come on that's facts it was a good super all week sandy if you're watching
all right all right so you guys are good?
We go out, we have a good time. I wasn't expecting it, but I want to keep doing the good times.
We're still friends,
dude, but you just can't be editing. You can't be
offering Quaid's money to edit
mops out of your photos. Oh, Jack, how
euphoric was it to receive that information?
There's actually a photo from
this weekend in real time when I'm finding
out and his face is, like, dying.
But, all right, sorry, Bosco.
I can't promise I won't do this again, but love you.
All right.
And, Rico, it feels like you're starting to come around on this story
and have a little bit of a smile about it.
It's very funny.
Yeah, I can see how you could giggle at it. It's very funny. I could see how you could giggle at it.
As far as Bosco
scandals go, this is
harmless.
No brow.
Right.
This is one we can all rally behind.
Yeah, this is one we can laugh about.
The boys can go back and we
can laugh about it when we're doing, you know, name that
tune in our burpees.
Yeah, exactly.
Okay. Good. Alright. See you, Bosco. we can laugh about it when we're doing you know name that tune and our burpees yeah exactly okay all right good all right all right see you bosco tuck one on the chair all right take it easy yeah
yeah take it easy like i just i would love to hear i would love to hear from that one janitor who's
like wait what the fuck the young poppers my fucking job actually no one that loves this show
really yeah yeah we gotta get a comment
his name's me oh that's it that's perfect
oh man it is the value of that information i know finding it out is just like when i found
it out on tuesday i was so excited so so excited and then every time
a new friend shows up to the bar you get to inform them and so on oh top to your feeling
i can't wait to get these pictures up i already told spider i was like whatever you like just
i want a billboard can we get a billboard oh Can we get a billboard? Oh, billboard. A mop billboard.
I think you could actually like, you could maybe submit it for like an art installation at like a museum.
Yeah.
Man with mop.
Four squares of the mosaic pieces.
Yeah.
A visual essay on pride.
The elimination of the blue collar male.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Yeah.
We're going to look back on this.
In American society.
It's telling.
Right.
We don't do hard work anymore in this country.
Yeah, the pacification.
Yeah.
Damn.
What American Gothic was saying, I think.
Yeah, it was.
Yeah, it's the new American Gothic.
Exactly what it is.
The mop.
By the way, the Barstool store,
check out the new Father's Day merch
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Order yours now to ensure it gets you in time
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It's all there.
Father's Day is coming up June 16 16th close are you guys ready like the
summer's about to yeah kick off you feel it summer always goes so fast too yeah
so it does i kicked off last weekend i did three 5 a.m nights in a row hell yeah it was
i'm still hurting birds chirping yeah love that. Love that. Yeah, sun coming up.
I haven't done that in forever.
It was fun.
People were glowing.
You know, like kids were making out at the game.
What I will say, we talked about this before, Summers in Chicago.
I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing.
We were on the rooftops, and I'm looking over at the lake,
and I'm seeing sailboats sailing around.
And I'm like, I'm at Wrigley Field, and yet I kind of wish I was on a sailboat.
You got to do it all in one day. And you hear the roar of the crowd you're like i know you gotta do it all in one day you gotta go
like morning do the ferris bueller just yeah do a little bit of everything just do everything or
like to yeah do wrigley then then go on a sailboat sunset cruise i got my last weekend my my dream
my version of like life goals driveway set up, the beach chairs, a cooler.
The neighbors come out.
The same thing from my childhood.
Where are the kids?
I don't know.
We're having fun.
It's a gainable goal.
And so I bought a bunch of, this might be pathetic, but I bought a bunch of extra beach chairs, even though it's just me and Pat.
And I, this weekend, I'm going to, well, I'm doing NASCAR this weekend.
But when I get home, I'm just going to start setting them up every time I'm going to, well, I'm doing NASCAR this weekend, but when I get home,
I'm just going to start setting them up
every time I'm hanging out in the driveway.
Yep.
And I'm going to hope if you build it,
they will come.
So I got the water table, the baby pool,
all the good stuff, all the driveway toys.
You're doing white trash Brandon right now.
I set up, you know where I set up the median strips
between the sidewalk and the street?
That's where I've been setting up all our hangout.
You want strangers to come sit.
My neighbors, yeah.
I would like my neighbors to come out.
You can't just set up the chairs and hope they assume that's what it means.
You've got to put up a sign.
Yeah.
Like in chalk, like have a seat.
If I walk by and the chair is already set up,
I would assume that someone set that chair up
and then they stepped away for a second.
Yeah.
I got a bunch of extra chairs.
I got excited i ordered
like five of them i think you do have to put up a sign that says neighbors welcome or something
yeah i'll do that i'll check back and let you know um steven are you are you okay because one
of these others is very concerning how different would the world be if people continued losing
their teeth as adults that's kind of funny That's a pretty good question, I think.
Isn't that like a thing, though?
Teeth dreams?
If you lose your teeth in dreams and stuff, it signals something bad?
Yeah, but we're talking about real life.
Right, I know, but what?
We would all be toothless, and that would just be how we'd see each other.
Well, you'd get replacement teeth.
I guess V2 adult teeth.
There you go.
I, with my back thing, it was in part like a mineral calcium deficiency thing that
was fucking up my back and my doctor was like you're lucky some women lose their teeth and
you're lucky that you didn't start losing your teeth oh i would i feel like i would have been
hit without a front oh yeah without a front tooth would you guys let me stay on the show
no no no no no. That's gross.
Yeah.
But, like, that's a thing.
Did you guys answer, Stevens, how long would it take you to golf home?
Yes.
Yeah, I did.
I said seven.
Seven?
Seven.
Seven.
Yeah.
That's a good answer.
That's a good answer.
Yeah.
I thought about seven.
I'm more like 12.
Yeah.
12.
Yeah.
Putting down the bike lane. 12. 12. 12 well then we i i'll say this while nick
and brandon are here that was one of the more insane things that's ever come out of nick
traney's mouth was when he said uh because we're talking about could brandon walk home
60 miles yeah and then nick was like yeah you could do 60 mile walk in a day and i went home
and thought about it all night and i was like that that's insane that no chance that's insane there's no chance no chance could Brandon walk 60 miles in a day yeah in the sun first of all in 24 hours
you could what's the farthest someone's ever walked in 24 hours we're talking about yeah you
could we could no yeah hey absolutely not yeah absolutely not yeah you could okay well now you're
I mean with Nick all right. I thought you were saying...
Now the next time you're out, I'll bring it up.
I'll make that thing that Dave said was insane.
No, I think you absolutely could.
Wait, 24 hours in a day.
You could easily do it.
Oh, yeah, you could do it.
Easily.
Not easily, but you could do it.
Absolutely not.
Have you never had a day where you've walked like an instant?
60 miles.
All right, but like.
I run pretty regularly.
Yeah.
To stay in shape.
If I were to cover more than like 10 miles in a day, I am done for the day.
Like not even running.
If I run five miles for exercise and then the rest of the day, I'm pretty active.
I'm walking a lot.
And I look down at my watch.
Now I kind of want to walk 60 miles. My watch says you did 60 mile or you did 10 miles i'm like dude i'm
fucking exhausted i've like walked i've walked over 20 miles in a day yeah they add up because
i when i check the steps yeah oh i did so many miles like on vacation like in a like i've like
why when i went to like france paris like look down It was like shit I walked 20 miles today
There's no way
Yeah
At a casual pace I think
Yeah you'd kind of have to like
Trick yourself
Yeah I kind of want to do it now
Yeah you should do it
You should do it
I want to do it
I'm going to have to walk to Brandon's
Right now
I'm going to have to walk to Brandon's house
Yeah I mean
You have 24 hours
So you can zoom in
During the show tomorrow
Yeah just get there I actually might do it Just to be with Uncle Doug supposed to go to Brandon's house. Yeah, I mean, you have 24 hours, so you can zoom in during the show tomorrow. Yeah, just get there.
I actually might do it just to be with Uncle Doug.
Just to go fishing with him.
That's worth it in itself.
Uncle Doug is a fucking man.
I want an Uncle Doug.
I just want Uncle Doug instead of Brandon.
I would miss Brandon.
And I would say that to Brandon.
I think Brandon wants an Uncle Doug instead of Brandon.
Like, if he could just be Uncle Doug.
If he could be perceived as Uncle Doug.
Right.
Yes.
Right.
If he had the same like just demeanor as Uncle Doug.
Uncle Doug, anxiety has never hit that man's body.
So unbothered.
Never.
And it vibrates off him.
Yeah.
Good.
Right.
I rubbed his belly yesterday.
He was unfazed.
Yeah, he's opposite Brandon.
There's comedians who get like you tell, a little frazzled coming in
because it's like, what is this?
And he just.
Nothing.
Nothing.
And skip a beat.
I want him to do a gauntlet.
Brandon said he doesn't run too good.
You should give him the option to say no, though.
I didn't like that.
Doug's his own man.
I took it away from him.
Doug's his own man.
He could say no.
He probably would have crushed it.
Yeah. Probably. I guess would have crushed it. Yeah.
Probably.
I guess we'll never know.
Yeah, we'll never know.
I think Uncle Doug
like one dollar more
than Brandon
just to hang out.
Yeah, do it.
Do it.
We can get a porch out here.
Just fucking hang out,
Uncle Doug.
I like all the media companies
hiring the younger,
better looking people
what if barstool went the other way remember jilly football yeah yeah that's a great point
we start hiring you have to be 80 or older yeah wait tj what did you just text me
it's just the scotty scheffler video came out oh play it the arrest let's see it so this is the egg where's the arrest where's
scotty he's right there oh that's his car do they zoom in on that side
okay see the cop see scot. He's sitting at the gate.
Seems normal.
Probably just saying I'm a golfer.
Let me in.
Yeah.
Why is it?
Oh, the cops put his head in his car.
Huh.
Okay. Another cop. All right. Huh.
Okay.
Another cop.
Alright.
And you see the pants get ripped.
Oh, this is boring. I thought it was a POV video.
Okay.
Someone must have edited out the mop. Hmm.
Someone must have edited out the mop.
Yeah.
Where's the mop?
You want to start it over and try again?
We miss it?
That's it.
That's it?
All right.
No dragging.
That was it.
That's really it?
That's actually it?
He's arrested him right there.
Let's watch it again.
That's crazy. Wait. really it? That's actually it? He's arresting him right there. Let's watch it again. That's crazy.
Wait.
Hold on.
He pulls up.
Is him pulling up?
And he does it slowly.
Oh, yeah.
The cop kind of gave a little hop there.
That's where his pants got torn, I think.
It was the hop.
Yeah.
All right.
That's crazy.
That cop.
That was a mistake.
That was a mistake by the Yeah. All right, that's crazy. That cop, that was a mistake. That was a mistake by the cop.
All right, I got to do an interview.
Do you guys want to spin the wheel?
Yeah.
Anything special for tomorrow?
Let's go.
We should hang out.
I'm out.
You're out?
I'm out, man.
What do you mean you're out?
I won't be here.
Oh, you're going to the Indy 500?
Going to the Indy 500, yeah.
Oh, it's the best.
I'll be at NASCAR.
It's also the best.
Is Brandon out?
Yeah, Brandon's out maybe forever now.
Okay.
Because he's not coming tomorrow.
Monday's off.
I think he's going fishing just all weekend.
He's just gone fishing.
Who knows?
He might just, yeah. Didn't he do that last summer?
Put up the sign that says gone. Yeah.
Are you doing infield or you're just bleachers now?
I always do infield. I always do infield.
Turn three infield always. Forever.
Is Nick back tomorrow?
Yes.
All right. We should think of something fun we can do.
Higher quality.
Higher quality. Here we go.
Here comes the cop. The cop's running. the cop he's running the cop he sees the
cop he stops looks like the cop runs into the car damn the cop looks excited so it looks like
it was exactly what everyone thought it was yeah which is nothing burger nothing yeah damn
hmm okay all right great all right yeah let's spin the wheel and tomorrow we'll send everyone
off into labor day no memorial day fuck keep fucking that up yeah tj we can't demonetize
youtube episode and do a friday vibes uh i mean we're talking about doing that for the next case race. Oh.
But music just got even more strict than it already was.
But it's not out of the question.
I was thinking about that. We have to talk to the powers that be.
You want to talk to them real quick?
About tomorrow?
Yeah.
I can try, but probably not.
Just ask them.
So the thing with the music is if we play two minutes uninterrupted of a song,
they're just going to take the episode off of live.
The episode will end instantly.
Right.
They could strike the – but if we're talking over music,
it's a little bit different.
They would just demonetize us.
If we're just playing a song, they could strike the stream.
So we could potentially do a Friday Vibes where we play the song and talk
and we just don't hit two minutes?
There's no number.
If we're playing music uninterrupted,
they have the rights to take us off stream.
Got it.
If we're doing something with music,
they could demonetize us.
Fuck.
We can't just sit there
and listen to somebody else's music.
All right, ask them.
Just ask them.
Okay. I'm sure the answer would be no Alright spin the wheel
You guys didn't get off of this yesterday?
Nope
God fucking damn it
There we go
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
We're back
Back back back Yes Nobody's what we needed We're back Back back back
It's big time
Yes
Nobody's got to spin again
Friday vibes
That's okay
Rocked
We'll say though
If there was a day for us
To get the wet wheel
All of us wearing swimsuits
Feels like
True
Good point
This would have been
The time to do it
These are comfy
What a
Dumb question
What exactly was
Friday vibes
It was just us talking
And then playing a song
And it rocked
We set the scene
For where the song would be appropriate
Yeah
And we could do it on Sirius
I'm in a nostalgic
Fetty Wap phase right now
Yeah
Takes me back to college
That was a good answer
It was a great
It was a great
Show that we would do
Like once every couple months
Yeah that sounds amazing
Fucking rocked.
Just like set you perfectly for
a weekend. Yep.
Do we have a mousetrap?
There's always somewhere around
here. Yeah, there's, isn't that them? Mousetrap?
Yeah, there's a bunch of them in a box right there.
Oh, you're talking about,
I'm an idiot. Okay.
Oh, we're good.
There we go.
All set.
All right.
We'll see you everyone tomorrow.
Please subscribe.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. It's the act. It's the act.
Get your straws, yeah, style and stay for a while.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to talk shop or do a Yankee swap. It's the act.
It's the music.
I know that's confusing, but also we get treated different because we're a company and not just an individual streamer or something.
It's not my call, but also we get treated different because we're a company and not just an individual streamer or something. It's not my call, but...
Happy birthday, Jackson.
Happy 15th birthday from Justin.
All right, see you tomorrow. Bye.