The Yak - Can You Eat A Piece Of Pizza And Drink A Beer In A Minute? | The Yak 7-21-21

Episode Date: July 22, 2021

The greasiest pizza youve ever heard...You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/ba...rstoolyak

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I asked KB to do something for the show. You want to do it now? You asked me five minutes ago. Yeah. Ranking Giannis' performance amongst the greats. Yeah, his all-time greats performances. All right, well, Jordan93.
Starting point is 00:00:48 You're our basketball historian on this show. Jordan93, Shaq2000. Mm-hmm. Magic88. No. Magic80? Seven. Center?
Starting point is 00:01:02 80. Timmy D in 03. Timmy D, yeah. Braun in 2016. Braun. Yeah. Hakeem Olajuwon in 95. Braun in 2018 on a loss.
Starting point is 00:01:14 Let's not recount players. Okay. Then Giannis. So seventh. Seventh. Seventh all-time in terms of. Oh, no, no. Metta World.
Starting point is 00:01:23 Metta World. Metta World hit that three.. You didn't hit that three. 2010, you're right. Dwayne Wade? The ref did that. You can't say Diddy Stutter. What's that juice guy? I said that.
Starting point is 00:01:36 I'm doing a full detox, and I'm miserable. No caffeine, no alcohol, no drugs, just juice and carrots. Aren't you miserable when you do a full intox? You look well. Are you doing that because you did a lot of drugs last week? No. I like that list. I saw you do it. That was a good list. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:01:55 I saw you do a lot of different drugs. Yeah. What's up, boys? I'm just starving and cranky. Why would you do that to yourself my shits are cool looking though you can't really take what they look like fucking they look like a fucking hokey tailgate this color and like carrot orange christian christian girl fall yeah boots What's in the juice? Beets Beets, carrots, kale And like one fruit
Starting point is 00:02:27 Are your turds solid? No protein? No Like a Blacksburg porta potty I tried that once A three day juice cleanse They wouldn't be eating their team's colors Those juice cleanses are terrible
Starting point is 00:02:38 They would just be displaying them You're right Like a hot dog in there When I did it I did a three day one And by like The Halfway through the second day
Starting point is 00:02:49 I was eating sausage I was like I can't have this It's terrible It's You think They trick you into thinking like Oh just three days
Starting point is 00:02:57 No big deal But When you wake up the second day Your stomach hurts You have diarrhea And you're starving Yeah Starving isn't fun Starving just controls your whole day the second day your stomach hurts you have diarrhea and you're starving yeah starving isn't fun starving just controls your whole day yeah what was that meant by the way the
Starting point is 00:03:12 someone said you went on a hunger strike for an entire weekend in college that's mostly untrue okay that's true that's true yeah it was OU, like the number fest weekend. And you just said no food, only booze and Coke. Just booze. When you had to cut weight for shit, did you do all this shit? No. The juices and all that? That's like Dave.
Starting point is 00:03:35 I ate horribly. I would eat like a fast break because it only weighed like 0.1. When David Bowie became a fascist and all he ate was cocaine, whole milk, and red peppers for like three years. Was that like a political stance? No, he just was addicted to cocaine and the only way to get nutrients was to treat him like a baby and give him milk. How do you land on red peppers though? I don't know. I don't know. That must be like a way you can stomach when you've done so much cocaine.
Starting point is 00:04:04 Yeah. Power food. know that must be like communist peppers in stomach when you've done so much cocaine yeah power food at an old job i had uh the ceo of the company he would did one of those juice cleanses like the three-day ones and he did it for i think it was like 28 days and lost a fuck ton of weight what yeah like connor whatever murphy no he did a 40-day fast of everything. What did he eat? No water? What? What did he ingest? It was probably supplements. It was water. We're having two conversations at once. What did he ingest first? Sorry. It was just...
Starting point is 00:04:33 Sorry. It was just juices throughout the day. And here you are, KB. You're one of them. Wouldn't you lose a lot of muscle mass, though? Yeah, that's what I'm worried about. Well, if you don't have any protein, your body starts to eat your muscles. Fact.
Starting point is 00:04:49 He was not a muscular fellow. He could have been. Yep. Definitely isn't now. How long in the gym to make him a muscular fellow, Sass? A couple of weeks. With me? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:00 Three sessions. I was telling you guys, I watch... My hands on him. I watch a guy who goes live on TikTok every night. He doesn't eat for 23 hours, and then he has 4,000 calories in an hour. Yeah, every day. I wouldn't mind trying that one. That's a pretty normal thing. I can't do the 23 hours right.
Starting point is 00:05:20 We did a one-day fast, and you cried. Yeah, like four hours into it. Yeah. I want to do that Oreo milkshake that's like 3,200 calories. Let's do it. Let's order them. Where's that from? Where is it from?
Starting point is 00:05:34 I'm pretty convinced it's not real. Really? Yeah. Damn. Wait, did you say 32,000? 3,200. How would an Oreo milkshake be 3,200? It has like 500 grams of carbs and like-
Starting point is 00:05:46 And sugar. Yeah. There's like a picture that goes viral and it's like the Oreo milkshake and like the macros and it's insane. So wouldn't this shock your body at some point? Oh, you would- I like literally- I think you'd probably just be sick instantly after drinking it. Not me.
Starting point is 00:05:59 I'm built different. Let's get it. Let's all get it. I could eat anything. Like one sip of that would probably- Nope. Not me. You.
Starting point is 00:06:04 No. I was actually thinking about you specifically when I said that. Dude, built different. I could ingest so much sugar. You're built average. Nope. You've never seen me on a Saturday night go to town on an ice cream. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:16 I'll do like four cones. You eat a cone too? Yep. So he'll have like... Could you imagine if someone just didn't understand how ice cream cones work threw it out every time i don't eat the cone with this cup really yeah i ate the cone gross i just lick the top and then i throw it out some of the best part is the cone nibble the rim of the waffle but the bottom of the cone with the ice cream. Hear me out. It is a little sauce.
Starting point is 00:06:46 Hear me out. Ice cream in general. Don't drop a pause too quickly. But if you kind of just like push some of the ice cream down with your tongue so you could have the cone. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. What sexual maneuver would that be worthy of a pause?
Starting point is 00:06:57 You push and eating an ass. Probably. I think. What are you pushing with yours? Like eating an ass. You know, when you're pushing shit into an ass? So you can save it for the last bite. Oh, honey, I'm going to shit.
Starting point is 00:07:10 Hold on one second. Not yet. Don't shit yet. Don't shit yet. I make my own cones at home. I swear this never happens. Yeah, all the time. And I push the shit down.
Starting point is 00:07:19 Do you have a rack or something? A rack? How do you make cones? No, no, sorry. I buy cones. Sounded like you were making artisanal cones. No, but I said that when I did the dog walk. I would never do that.
Starting point is 00:07:31 Yeah, dog walk draft for ice cream. I said that I always have cones at home, and they were shocked. If I could make a cone, I would make a cone. But I always have cones. When I'm at home, you just got to eat a bowl. No. My grandma always had cones for us. Treat yourself.
Starting point is 00:07:43 I don't know why we didn't. Cone at home? Yeah. Cone at home. No, there's too much dripping. Treat yourself. I don't know why we didn't. A cone at home? Yeah. Cone at home. No, there's too much dripping. Your hands get sticky. That's because you're sloppy. No, because I'm patient.
Starting point is 00:07:51 No. It doesn't take long enough to eat it for drips. Give me baklava. My big move when I was younger would be ordering a cone and then asking for a bowl. And I thought I was somehow getting more ice cream. Cheating the system? Yeah. No, it would definitely be the other way around.
Starting point is 00:08:06 Yeah. I came to notice that soon later. Yeah, you got to ask for a bowl and then a cone on top. It's like getting a burrito and just emptying it. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Can you make me a burrito bowl and then I'll take a tortilla on the side. That's what I'll do.
Starting point is 00:08:21 Everybody does it with a big smirk on their face. I'm teaching you Chipotle. All right. That was a good cone talk. That's a good start. Good start. Say something about the Barstool athletes. Yeah, what's up with the Barstool athletes?
Starting point is 00:08:37 Wait, what kind of cones do you have at home? Waffle? Sugar? Usually waffle. Wow. Sometimes sugar. Holy shit, I've never... What is the difference?
Starting point is 00:08:46 I think the sugar looks like it should be called waffle. No, sugar looks like... Sugar's just that standard little cone, right? What's the gross, like the boring one? You're talking about... That's cake. That's cake. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:58 Those are like... Yeah, they look like Legos almost. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Waffles are the ones that aren't symmetrical, and sugar looks like 1940 peanut titties. Yeah, exactly. It was what a bikini was
Starting point is 00:09:13 in 1935 in France. You just have two sugar cones and a piece of sugar cone. Those are the worst. What? The cones or the titties? Sugar. Titties too. That's the worst. What? The cones or the titties? Sugar. Sugar?
Starting point is 00:09:26 Yeah. Titties too. That's the worst kind of titty and cone. Sugar tits? Waffle cake. I think it's waffle sugar cake. The sugar's always so tiny though. Yeah, no, it's true.
Starting point is 00:09:38 You got to work a little harder, but then also when it's tiny, you can eat multiples. Yeah. The rim of the cake. True of titties as well. They get too pointy. Yeah. Yes, it holds a lot. Yeah. This is just, we're talking cones now, boys.
Starting point is 00:09:45 It's hard to have ice cream after I've had like gelato in Italy. So yeah, that's true. You did have gelato in Italy that one time. Why haven't they come out with a new coat? You think eventually. Wait a minute. We need to have a yak cone. A new cone.
Starting point is 00:09:58 What's it made of? Bread. Yeah. White bread. I'm not kidding. Have you ever tried a piece of toast with ice cream on it? It's delicious. No.
Starting point is 00:10:09 You're kidding. Not kidding. You're fucking with us. You put like cinnamon sugar on the toast or anything? How are you biting into that? That just sounds like a waffle. That sounds really fucking good. You put ice cream on cinnamon toast?
Starting point is 00:10:18 You fold it up. You fold it up. Ice cream on cinnamon toast would be good. Like a taco almost. You're just like making French toast. You're toastable break. There's ice cream on it. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:10:27 But you could put ice cream. But did you do that, Steven, or was it just like white bread? Like sandwich bread. So like, yeah, white bread or Italian bread or whatever. Ice cream in a cinnamon bread bowl. The toast has to be warm. So that's right down there. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:10:39 Some of this stuff, it starts to make my teeth hurt when I look at it. You ever see like the donuts with ice cream in between? And they eat it like a sandwich? Yeah. I have not. Those things are just stupid. That's what my For You page is. It's all mac and cheese on burgers, ice cream on donuts.
Starting point is 00:10:55 Who wants a donut burger? Who's going to hold that? Who's going to bite it? No one is enjoying a donut burger. How many donut burgers have you had, Dan? I would absolutely eat a donut burger. Have you ever eaten a donut burger? If you do traditional glazed donuts with a burger in between, fuck you.
Starting point is 00:11:13 TJ is vigorously checking us out. Fuck yes. That's a fuck yes. Why? I hate when they do the burgers that are like the height of a flashlight. How are you eating that? You smash it? Oh, because you have a small jaw. But what are you eating that? You smash it? You have a small jaw.
Starting point is 00:11:26 I have a small jaw. What are you going to do? You smash it. You try to be a hero and get the whole thing? I will smash that thing. There's a dairy in the city that does bacon, egg, and cheeses on Pop-Tarts. Fuck that.
Starting point is 00:11:40 That's disgusting. No, that'd be gross. Pop-Tarts aren't even like... I don't like That's disgusting Cause like Pop-Tarts Aren't even like That's like not like I don't like Pop-Tarts Yeah Poppers aren't even that good Yeah They're too hard
Starting point is 00:11:51 Yeah Too dry I'm a strudel man I love a good strudel Are you Are you self-conscious About your small jaw Only at the dentist
Starting point is 00:12:01 Because every time I have to do x-rays I My gag reflex goes crazy. Yeah. I think something's wrong. That's a straight thing to have. Do you think a dentist loves to see a small jaw or does the dentist get turned on by a big jaw?
Starting point is 00:12:16 I think he likes the challenge of a small jaw. I think he does too. It's tight in there. I'm going to destroy this fucking jaw. I don't make it fun for it. It's tight as fuck. Trust me. I had an uncle who is no longer alive.
Starting point is 00:12:26 He had polio as a kid and he couldn't open his... He could only open his jaw like this wide for the rest of his life. So he always had to eat the thinnest sandwiches. That's you. Thin sandwiches are better. I want it to be as thin... You guys know... As a fucking guy who can't open his jaw.
Starting point is 00:12:44 Paninis are the most feminine sandwiches. You know what I like? I like these. I like these. These are bitch sandwiches. Grilled paninis. These are bitch made. I like to suck the smallest dicks.
Starting point is 00:12:51 That's what you're saying. Yeah. Give me the biggest, longest. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm talking about burgers and sandwiches. I want them flat. That's why smash burgers are taken off.
Starting point is 00:13:04 They're going crazy. In the small job community. The Steak and Shake Fresco Burger is the best thing on the menu. The best fast food item at their restaurant. Careful. I was going to say. Let's start a war, bro. Steak and Shake.
Starting point is 00:13:18 Smash that? What is it? Shake Shack. Shake Shack. What was I just saying? Steak and Shake. Is that a thing? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:24 It's everywhere in the country. Shake Shack. The was I just saying? Steak and Shake. Is that a thing? Yeah. Never been there. It's everywhere in the country. Shake Shack. The bread. It's not that good. Something about the bread. Is that how you start your sentences? What?
Starting point is 00:13:31 You just see? You just see? No, I meant to say Shake Shack, but then I was like, what the hell is Steak and Shake? I've never even heard of Steak and Shake before. Yes. Shake Shack. You obviously have heard of it. You should know you've heard of it because you said it.
Starting point is 00:13:42 Because Katie just said Steak and Shake. Oh, I see. So then you've heard of it. Shake Shack is not that good. I don Katie just said Steak and Shake. Oh, I see. So then you've heard of it. Shake Shack is not that good. I don't think their burgers are good. It's not as good as it's... Can we clip that? Sure.
Starting point is 00:13:52 Uh-oh. I mean, it's like a pretty mediocre burger. Have you had the Shack Stack? No. Well, that's their burger. That's like the best burger. Oh, maybe I have. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:14:02 I think it's really good. I think they just put like a ton of butter on it though, right? I hope so. We were talking about on PMT the idea that like every college kid has something at their college campus that they think is the greatest food ever, but it's always just drunk food. Yeah. So then they like, you're like, oh man, you got to try this. And then you realize like 10 years later, you're like, that actually wasn't that good. We were just blacked out.
Starting point is 00:14:24 Yeah, there was a place in Morgantown. Everybody loved this guy that was making sandwiches. He raided the White House, killed a cop. Whoa. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:31 Okay. That took a twist. I like it. There was a place in the sandwiches. They don't hold up or you were just, how did they taste?
Starting point is 00:14:40 They were great. There was a place in Madison called I do some crazy things for those. Gin's Chicken, which was just fried chicken, which which it wasn't special but the only thing that was special about is they had in the it was a food cart or food truck and in the food truck they had a game of like video games that you could play so people wouldn't get in fights in the line okay well
Starting point is 00:14:59 that's incredible yeah we had like fourth or fifth in the line you could play a game of madden while you waited for your sandwich. We had a food truck with ten different sandwiches, but every one was chicken fingers, French fries, mozzarella sticks, and the difference was just the sauce. Yeah, that's right. And then you're like, it's incredible. There was a buffalo one, a barbecue one, a ranch one.
Starting point is 00:15:19 What's going on, Brandon? Imagine that he's yelling at her. Every mannerism he has, Ben Mintz talking to Kelly in Vegas, is that he is furious with her. Every mannerism he has, Ben Mintz talking to Kelly in Vegas, is that he is furious with her. Kelly in Vegas. I like all these hires whose names are just sentence fragments. Money. Megan making money.
Starting point is 00:15:35 Kelly in Vegas. What about my two-year-old son actually loves these hires? What about me? KB, no swag. Oh. You're the same thing. No. Yeah, you are. You're the same thing. There's no verb. You're the same thing No Yeah you are You're the same thing
Starting point is 00:15:47 No You're a fragment Literally You're a fragment No that's not a fragment You couldn't use that In a sentence You started the fragment era
Starting point is 00:15:55 At Barstool Not without Not without punctuation You're the first fragment I am not a fragment Yeah you are KB You're the fragment
Starting point is 00:16:01 Coaching tree Oh no They're on my Alright yeah Yeah KB to the fragment coaching tree. Oh, no. They're on my card. All right, yeah. Yeah. I'll have a meeting. A team meeting. You should change your name to KB has no swag.
Starting point is 00:16:11 Brandon fucking Walker. And that would be a sentence. It's true. What about the ones where it's just their name and then what they do? Remember we were talking about that? Yeah, we were. Gay Pat? Well, no.
Starting point is 00:16:23 He would be Pat. Dana Beers. Dana Beers. Dana Beers. Oh, we got to get Dana Beers in here. Do we have a pizza? Slice of pizza? We need that, but also, I mean, he's the world's biggest Bucks fan. That's true.
Starting point is 00:16:35 He thinks he's heartbroken he couldn't be there last night. He asked Marty. I'm not kidding. We can talk to him. He thinks that he's going to be on one of the parade floats. He asked that on the fucking show. He was on Walk the Line. He did? Yeah. He asked that on the fucking show. He walked the line. He did?
Starting point is 00:16:46 Yeah. He asked, do you think they'll put me on a parade float? With no irony. For what purpose would he be on the parade float? I mean, maybe. Did Steven just point at the one empty chair? I wouldn't be very surprised at all, to be honest. He put him on the jumbo chair.
Starting point is 00:17:01 They're like inviting him to the games, right? No, inviting him to one game. right? No. Inviting him to one game. Pen. That was a pen deal. That was. The second one was the box. That wasn't the box. You gotta take Ron's seat.
Starting point is 00:17:12 Sit right here. What's up, Four Eyes? Which one to say congrats? Yeah, Four Eyes. Motherfucker. Weren't you the one that was making fun of people for getting glasses?
Starting point is 00:17:19 How soon we forget. Dana, when are you hopping on the flight to get on the parade? If I get invited, I don't go unless I'm invited. Do you think you're going to be invited? No. Who do you think would invite you?
Starting point is 00:17:31 It's crossed your mind. I don't know. Have you been, like, waiting? The box invited us the first time. Have you been doing, like, the... Oh, shit. Did I miss a call? Oh, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:17:39 I thought the box were calling me to see if I could be on the parade. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Whoa. Oh, no. Nope. Nothing. Just a phantom wait. Whoa. Oh, no. Nope. Nothing. Just a phantom vibrate. I never said that.
Starting point is 00:17:49 Have you been doing that, though? What? Did it cross your mind that maybe? Hey, guys, no one call me. No one call me because I'm waiting for a call from the Bucs. No, big head. I've not been doing that. Wow.
Starting point is 00:17:58 That was quite the tone. Whoa. Whoa. Someone got over scumbag game. Sorry. Someone's back. I'm kind of back, yeah. Can we try the pizza and the beer thing today?
Starting point is 00:18:09 If we got a slice? Yeah. All right. I don't think. I think he's got it. A minute? A minute. It's not that impressive.
Starting point is 00:18:15 It's got to be 30 seconds. A minute's way too long. Are you texting someone? I mean, I don't know. How big is the piece? How big is the slice? And we have beers everywhere. It was one of those ones we had.
Starting point is 00:18:24 Yeah. It was one of those ones that we crushed at the game the other day. Oh, my God. With Ursula? Was that the best pizza I've ever had? My name was Iris. I think it was just I was with my tightest homies. I was finally at the promised land, my mecca, which was Yankee Stadium. And it was great.
Starting point is 00:18:43 It just hit different. It was the best pizza I've ever had. You've always said that was your Mecca, too. Yeah. Why was I summoned in here? You're going to drink a beer and eat a pizza. But I want him to have challengers. Oh.
Starting point is 00:18:54 Oh. A minute, I don't think is, I think, like, 30 seconds. Let's see how fast I do it. No, I know, but then that's not the point. This will become the Yak Challenge. How many slices should I get? At least three. Well, we're going to do challenge mode, so...
Starting point is 00:19:09 Should we go corral some fat-sows? Here's our problem. Here's our problem. A whole pie and a 12-pack. We can't get three slices across the street. They can get it. We can't bring in Mince to do his chewing powers because he won't drink a beer.
Starting point is 00:19:21 Mince didn't chew. I don't think... I think a minute is actually pretty reasonable. Very reasonable. I feel like we're thinking that since Minutes took down the banana so fast that it's going to be like that. But I feel like pizza is harder to take down than a banana. I think the beer will probably be like five
Starting point is 00:19:35 seconds or so. No, you don't chug that fast. Okay, if it's in a cup. Well, Bitcat chugs faster than you. Yeah, that was one time and you got a head start. Is that what you're telling yourself? And you spilled some ahead of time. Is that what you're telling yourself? That was one time, and you got a head start. You got a head start. Is that what you're telling yourself? And you spilled some ahead of time, so I had less. Is that what you're telling yourself? It was one time. Because I will out-chug you anytime, anywhere, anyplace.
Starting point is 00:19:52 All right, that didn't count because I don't actually have an excuse. You crushed me. I was trying to think of a spin zone. And I was slow. No, you were fast. No, I was slow. And you spilled a lot, though. No, I didn't.
Starting point is 00:20:02 Yes, you did. I didn't realize that you got over scum pack gate so quickly quickly i'm not over it i'm just at some point you gotta get back well you were you had your tail between your legs you're a little puppy dog yeah i still i mean i still don't enjoy being you know criticized and all that it's not a good position to be in well i bumped into you at the bar this week and you were like, dude, over 50% of marriages ended at the bar. I was like,
Starting point is 00:20:26 Jesus, dude. No, I didn't say that. Maybe I'll go to Marina's third wedding when he's set. No, I don't know what to tell you.
Starting point is 00:20:44 I'm just trying to get over it and be back to myself. Is there a part of you that's rooting for them to get divorced? You get a second chance. No, no, no. You get a second. Maybe at least a vow renewal. Actually, I'm supposed to grab a beer with her tomorrow. Oh, nice.
Starting point is 00:20:57 Oh, that's nice. So you will be back. I love how you got bullied by thousands of people on the internet for being a mean friend. Right. Why are you still talking about this? Random strangers just harassed you. You're a bad friend. Trust me, that part is the annoying part.
Starting point is 00:21:14 Because I think, I don't know, whatever. It's like a week ago. It's in the past right now. It's not that long ago. Nah, let's bring it back. Nah. I mean, she's still on her honeymoon, is she not? Nah.
Starting point is 00:21:24 She got back recently. She got back recently. She got back recently. Did you get her a gift? Yeah, I got her. Turtle's worse than a pet. Well, I have a card for her. So you haven't gotten her a gift. I have.
Starting point is 00:21:33 I also spent a good amount of money for some shout-outs for some Bruins players. That's really nice. Wait, this was all afterwards, right? Well. And I also reached out to a lot of Bruins players and had them say some nice words. So it was a nice little compilation. Isn't she tight with them herself? I don't know. Also, didn't they already do that?
Starting point is 00:21:56 Yeah. Oh. I'm pretty sure she had a compilation because I remember. I actually remember her watching the last one. She was like, okay, no more Bruins stuff. I've seen too many. The first time she got married there was all because i remember we all did videos and it was just all bruins and then it was like barstool people it was like well we got kind of upstaged here and now you i don't know well let's go for 50 seconds. What, for a pizza? Yeah, let's go for 40.
Starting point is 00:22:25 If you finish a beer, a 12-ounce beer and a piece of pizza in 50 seconds, the yak kind of like in an election year. No, 45 seconds. 45 seconds. It's also going to be a four loco. Yeah, it's going to be a four loco. In an election year when they're like, we're endorsing, we will officially endorse Dana B being back.
Starting point is 00:22:43 Dana B, good guy. I will fly that flag. Dana B, good guy. I will fly that flag. I will fly that flag all day every day. What a bed. Yes. Yes. It's a perfect. It's 84 degrees and sunny.
Starting point is 00:22:54 I'm going to be fucking chilling out there all weekend. It's going to be back to old vibes. It would be a real shame if you fell off your belt. I don't know why. Actually, a guy walked in, but he looked like a maintenance guy today, and he was like, you've been sleeping out there. I saw that, and he was laughing about it, so that made me feel good because I thought they might be mad at me.
Starting point is 00:23:12 They don't care if you die. That's your own stupidity. Yeah, but can't they get in trouble for that? No, because you put all the documents in. You put your bed on the balcony. They're worried about your room showing up. You documented you getting blackout drunk in a bed on a balcony. People are like, how'd this happen?
Starting point is 00:23:28 Your lawyer's not going to have much. Wait, so he's – why is he dead on the ground tangled in his own sheets? In his pillow. What? This man was sleeping on his balcony. Try sometime, dude. It might be coming to an end, though. I think me and Marty are splitting up.
Starting point is 00:23:51 Oh, is this breaking news? Not really. I'm going to Mississippi. Well, nobody would have seen it. It's been on all the lines. You ruined all the relationships in your life. Well, I'm moving back to Mississippi for five months, so it's like, what am I doing? It's not that bad, KB.
Starting point is 00:24:04 Five months? That's a move. Jackson? Yep. Jackson. Good boy, Deion. Don't call him Deion. My bad, Coach Brown. I have that relationship with him. I can do it. You were on a podcast recently, right? You were on the Chicks University podcast?
Starting point is 00:24:20 Oh, yeah. And you were talking about what you look for in a girl. What? What you look for in a girl. What? What you look for in, like, a girl, right? And you said you don't. Oh, yeah, yeah. One of your qualifications was you don't care what sorority they're in. That's not. You're just kidding.
Starting point is 00:24:32 You did say that. I was an out of context clue. And you said you don't care what sport they play. I don't care what sport you play. I don't care what your major is. I just want that. There was a fucking conversation before that about like they asked the question
Starting point is 00:24:47 I wasn't in a college that had frats or sororities and they were like do you care about that I don't give a fuck so you meet a 19 year old at the bar and you're like listen I don't care Delta Gamma it doesn't matter what you mean can you just tell me where the fucking pizza's here
Starting point is 00:25:03 I just want wet holes. Promise me your pussy's wet. If it's not, I'll make your pussy chug a beer. You love us. I do. We're about to officially proclaim you back. You're also going to get a beer and pizza. You will.
Starting point is 00:25:24 What order are you going in? I'm worried about the crust. I'm worried about the crust, too. The hard New York crust. I don't think he's going to be able to do it in a minute. That'll be a 45 seconds. You have to roll the pie
Starting point is 00:25:34 and make it like a breadstick. Is that your technique? No. Yes. No. I think you can take much of the slice down in one bite, but then the crust
Starting point is 00:25:43 is going to be something. The crust is going to be something. What was it like? The crust can sometimes crust is going to be something. The crust is going to be something. The crust can sometimes take a while to work through. Can I use a side beverage to wash down my pizza? No. You could always just wait for you to drink half the beer and then use the rest of it to wash it down. Drink half the beer?
Starting point is 00:25:59 No. That would be out of brand. Can I get something that's like 12 ounces of some liquid that I can help with this pizza? What four loco do you think you want? You can always drink the pizza first. You could drink the pizza. Eat the pizza first.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Then eat the beer. Which loco are you going to go with? I'm not going loco today. I will not be going loco. Did you take that shitty ass shot? Yes. Ugh. You brought that.
Starting point is 00:26:28 That's awful. Was that turmeric? You don't even know what it is. You gave it to me one day. You made me take it. I want it in a draft. You brought it for a draft. How are you doing this yourself?
Starting point is 00:26:36 I don't know. How much was it for both of those things? $45. Easily. Like eight and six. Plus delivery. Is that shot like cayenne and shit? Detox juice. Like eight and six plus delivery. Is that shot like Cayenne and shit? Detox juice.
Starting point is 00:26:47 Yes, I'm detoxing. Why? You did too much. Drugs. No, no. Why are your hands like that? It's just like I need sobriety, I need fitness, and I need to feel good, but it's having the adverse effect. Right now, but I feel like once I get over the four-day hump, I'm going to be-
Starting point is 00:27:01 It will be Friday, and you'll want to go out. But why today on July 21st, 2021, did you do this? Because I need to. I need to start being in control of my life. You felt out of control? You were out of control. Dana, did that make sense to you? I feel like you did this three months ago.
Starting point is 00:27:15 In New York City, you feel like you have control over who you say yes to and what you go to and when you go to the bar, but you don't. You're stuck in a loop. What happens? I do this regularly They were hiding in a loop. They were hiding in a loop. I do this, I do this regularly.
Starting point is 00:27:29 Probably like once a season. I know. What keeps happening though that like makes you out of control? I'm drinking too much. I feel like shit always. All right. Pizza got here quick. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:27:37 We need a beer too. Remind me, Jake, I'll give you money after this. No, no cup. Yeah, you can leave that right there. For the beer? Why a cup? No, I don't think you get a cup.
Starting point is 00:27:44 I drink it much faster out of a cup. Can you grab a beer? Yeah, thanks. Do we get to eat the rest of the pizza? Brendan, are you off your diet? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's not a full pizza.
Starting point is 00:27:54 Oh, it's just one slice? They wasted a box for the slice? They don't have two slices? That's four slices. Three slices. Three? Let's look at the pizza. We should definitely look at the pizza.
Starting point is 00:28:01 Temperature matters a great deal as well. Should it be a race simultaneously? Oh, it is. We've got a stopwatch on the screen. Oh, no. There's no way you're doing that in a minute. Oh, no. Those look really good.
Starting point is 00:28:14 Yeah. You want to go back to a minute? 45. Wait, those aren't that big. They're pretty big. Those look really good. That's two pieces right there. Let me have one of them just to see.
Starting point is 00:28:26 Steven, that clock overlay looks very good. Give Brandon one. Shout out to us on DJ. That's slick. All right, DJ. Good job, DJ. You guys notice anything different about me today? Handsome.
Starting point is 00:28:37 Oh, chain guy. You're a chain guy. Rone got me the saint of gambling. But you had to have gotten a new chain. There's a saint of gambling? There shouldn't be a saint of gambling. But you had to have gotten a new chain. There's a saint of gambling? There shouldn't be a saint of gambling. It's good luck.
Starting point is 00:28:51 Gambling is like, it dates back to the beginning of time. Correct. There's a patron saint of finding a parking spot. Saint Anthony. Do you know the jingle? No. Or what do they call it, a prayer? The jingle?
Starting point is 00:29:02 What do they call it? You went to a Catholic school for like your entire life. Yeah, 20 years. The pizza smells good as fuck. I don't think it does. It does. Eat a slice. How fast do you think?
Starting point is 00:29:15 No, I'm not doing it. Yeah, why don't you set the bar? No, yeah, you set the bar with just the pizza. I don't have to do the beer? No, it's Mother Cabrini. No, because I want to enjoy the pizza. I would want to eat it. I would want to take my time. I do not want to do that.
Starting point is 00:29:28 What are you looking confused for? I would like to savor the pizza. There's the beer. That's a good cold beer, too. The nice ice cold beer. Dana? With a glass. This is...
Starting point is 00:29:40 I assure you the glass was unnecessary. No, he requested it. Are we doing any guesses or it's just over under? Yeah, I'll go 53. I'm going to go 44. I'm going to go a minute 20. I'm going to go a minute 21. 45 is officially he is back.
Starting point is 00:29:58 I'm going 36. I'm the biggest standing guy on the show. Let's get it all in there. 105. 106. That was a there 105 That was a lot If he does it in like 52 Is he semi-back? You might want to stand up for it
Starting point is 00:30:15 I think standing up is good Back is a binary scale Either you are or you aren't Dana doesn't have headphones Can you tell him to signal to Zah To start the stopwatch Touches the lips stand up it dana doesn't have headphones can you tell him to signal to za dana signal to za to start the stopwatch i think when he starts eating touches the lips so wait what you're going you're going za first going fold all right he might oh my god that's good to help it down the throat
Starting point is 00:30:36 leave that on leave that on i'll say three two one go go on go za all right Are you ready? Are you ready? Here we go. Three, two, one, go. Oh, that's not a great pace. This isn't a good pace. I might be off to my extreme. It looks like it's straight out of a goofy movie.
Starting point is 00:31:00 Oh, he's using a little bit of the beer. No laughing. Oh, no. No laughing. Don't worry about what we say. Come on, Dina. You're almost halfway there. Go.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Not even a little bit. He's making me look like a fucking moron. He's not back. Not back at all. He's so not back. It ain't easy. What technique? Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:21 All right, come on. He could do this maybe. Yeah, yeah. No, he's fucked. No, you've got to keep going, though. Don't slow down. We have bets. We have numbers.
Starting point is 00:31:31 Do it for all the Delta Zs. No, that's the fat sorority. Oh, yeah, shit. No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. Yes, it was. No, it was not the fat sorority. Yes, it was.
Starting point is 00:31:43 It just wasn't the skinniest. That was really hard. That was really hard. I mean, this is pathetic. This is pathetic. You didn't even hit one minute. Yeah, and that's what you said originally. Oh, so not back.
Starting point is 00:31:58 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is sad. Wait, this is for me versus us, though. Come on, chug it. It's a good thing you didn't go to that wedding. 118. 118, let's go.
Starting point is 00:32:11 Sass on a dot for Sassy. This is sad to watch. You want to try again? Was it good pizza? That was really hard to eat. I didn't realize how chewy it was. Let's get someone to challenge him. Yeah, let's get a challenger.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Brandon? I'm not challenging him because of the beer. You could do a glass of water. No. Donnie? Oh, Donnie could do it. You think? All right.
Starting point is 00:32:34 Am I good? Yeah, you're good. No, I mean, you're not. That was terrible. I would definitely beat that, but I'm on a diet. Actually, aren't you on a diet? Me? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:46 I was. Glennie? No. You don't think so? No. Nah. Waste of time. Yep, it is.
Starting point is 00:32:53 Waste of time and pizza. Pizza and a beer in a minute. Can you do it? No, you know, it's Monday to Wednesday. I can't eat bad on Monday to Wednesday. Yeah, your body's a temple. Body's a temple Monday. I'm going to get grilled chicken right now.
Starting point is 00:33:02 Okay. As a matter of fact. No, he's right. His body is a temple Monday. I'm going to get grilled chicken right now. Okay. As a matter of fact. No, he's right. His body is a temple on Monday through Wednesday. I've had four meals this week, Monday and Tuesday, all grilled chicken. About to go get some more grilled chicken. And then on Thursday, it's on. That's downhill, but Monday to Wednesday, temple.
Starting point is 00:33:19 I love it. Less than half the week, temple. Hey, baby steps, three days. On Tuesday afternoons, I eat salads. I want to try the challenge. I kind of want to do it. Let's go, Nick. I just want to eat a pizza.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Nick, you can do this. I also just want pizza. Who would be good? You can knock it down in a minute. I don't know. No, probably not. I think you might be able to. I kind of got a choke.
Starting point is 00:33:45 I said I think the pizza is the hardest part. I mean, it's hard. Well, it's one of two things that would be the hardest. Well, I said I said I said the pizza was going to be also the solid. Yeah, the food's usually harder than the liquid. OK, 45 seconds. I'd say the hardest. I said 32.
Starting point is 00:34:01 I was making fun of me. I was wrong on the challenge. You know, yes, I am. The hardest part, really, according to Bailey Carlin, is making your bed courage. I was one second off. You're making fun of me because I was wrong on the challenge? Yes, I am. The hardest part really according to Bailey Carlin is making your bed in the morning. It's true.
Starting point is 00:34:10 I made my bed this morning so this is nothing. This is my easiest challenge. I haven't made my bed in like 10 years. I got a woman for that. Ain't that right, Sass? No.
Starting point is 00:34:20 Me and you, brother. No, not me. It's also just a bestseller novel titled To Make Your Bed. Is it? Oh yeah, there was like a marine that made it his Me and you, brother. No, not me. No. It's also just a bestseller novel title to make your bed. Is it? Oh, yeah. There was like a Marine that like made it his.
Starting point is 00:34:29 I fucking love those guys. Yeah. Who like every morning you wake up at 430 and you take a 15 minute cold shower. I love those guys. And then they just crush the world. The secret to success. Yeah, right. Gary Vee, go to a bunch of yard sales.
Starting point is 00:34:46 Do y'all ever do any length of cold shower? No. I've tried it once. I'm 100% hot all the time. I'm a puss. Big puss. Y'all want to have a sleepover at my place tonight? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:54 Fuck yeah. Me and Owen crashed there last night. Yeah. I just tried to have the guys stay. It was late. We were watching the game. Oh, wait. So me and Dan will be late to the sleepover?
Starting point is 00:35:01 We were watching the game? Yeah. And where did you sleep? I'm shocked you have a TV on the table. Owen slept in bed with me, and I gave Sass the air mattress. Nice. Owen, you slept in bed and had to tell? He was really insistent on Owen sleeping in the bed. Owen, I could tell by the way he looked.
Starting point is 00:35:14 He was just like, go try out the bed. It was Owen's first time at my place. I was like, I wanted him to know I had a comfy-ass bed. I don't know if any of this is real. It is. You slept at Nick's house. I know they were planning to go to Nick's house. Nick, you have like...
Starting point is 00:35:29 Nick is so sneaky. He's just a guy. Like, hey, guys, come over and watch the game. Yeah, he got us beers. I sit beside Nick, and they planned the entire thing beside me. And I just was kind of waiting for just any... Not really an invite. Well, no, you asked if you could come, and we said no.
Starting point is 00:35:45 We said no. They invited me. Because I knew that today was going to be like the sleepover day. Yeah. Well, last night was the sleepover day. I did. I do want to retract. We were playing Papa Shot late.
Starting point is 00:35:56 I want to retract something. Sass did invite me to the Yankees-Red Sox game, and I said straight to his face, absolutely not. So I want to apologize. I did get an invitation. I did, too. I forgot about that before Rome. I did, too. Okay, I invited you before Rome because Rome's getting married, and I didn't want to stress him out.
Starting point is 00:36:14 Right. KB, break the detox with a piece of pie. So any other week I don't get an invite? No. Fuck. Come on, dude. I apologize for not being there. No, especially after your response you might you're never getting an invite again please you laughed and i'm actually the best person to invite to things
Starting point is 00:36:32 because i always say no but at least then you extend the invite yeah well it's the greatest thing ever i'm never gonna say yes but then you can say well i invited you yeah all right to kelly martin who's getting married. She was like, I only want to invite people who want to go. I was like, just invite me. I'll get you a gift. And I'm not going to come, but count it. It's great.
Starting point is 00:36:55 KB, we're doing a sleepover at my crib tonight. Yeah, I know. KB, are you going to? Did you change up the format or something? I invited Brandon. KB, what's going on? Why did you just come in here with a beer? Because Donnie's going to do it.
Starting point is 00:37:10 Oh. Are you going to do it? No. That would have been awesome if we tricked you after all that detox. KB did it. His body would shut down. Nick, are you going to do it? Is there two slices left?
Starting point is 00:37:21 Yes. I'll do it. All right. So we need another beer. I only got one beer. Is Donnie going to do it now? Should we have it be head to head? He was like real nervous.
Starting point is 00:37:33 And he's like. Well, then let's have Nick do it. He said, gave it some thought. He just gave it some thought. And I'll do it if you end up needing someone. So let's have Nick do it. He doesn't understand how much this doesn't matter. I don't think I've ever done that. Don't tell him that. Don't tell him that. I think he really wants Nick do it. He doesn't understand how much this doesn't matter. I don't think I've ever done that.
Starting point is 00:37:46 Don't tell him that. Don't tell him that. I think he really wants to do it. I don't know. Don't tell him it doesn't matter. When has Donnie ever thought about anything? This is the most bizarre thing.
Starting point is 00:37:57 All right, ready, Nick? Should one of us, somebody else just go ask Donnie? Just very... Come on, man. Nick, if you beat Dana... Oh, my God. You're fucking back. 1-19. Just very... Come on, man. Nick, if you beat Dana... Oh, my God. You're fucking back.
Starting point is 00:38:06 1-19. Talk to me about strategy real quick. If you beat him, we'll have Gaz give you the Dana beer handle. Let's break down some strategy. I think I have to roll the pizza to make it of a breadstick. You're very adamant about the rolling of the pizza. I think the rolling might be worse. You can't pre-roll.
Starting point is 00:38:24 Because eating the... Dana could pre-fold. He't pre-roll. Dana could pre-fold. He did pre-fold. Let's just get another beer. Get another beer and give a head-to-head. I want you to do it too, though. In the bar. Fridge. That makes sense.
Starting point is 00:38:37 Hey, Don. How's it going? Well, we'd be a lot better if you did this challenge. We need people to do it. Oh, it's Labatt? Yeah, we'd be a lot better if you did this challenge. We need people to do it. Oh, it's Labatt? Yeah, I'll do it. Oh, okay. I was having a very healthy day, though.
Starting point is 00:38:50 This is going to throw off my chi. But that's okay. Have you had healthy days back-to-back, or would this be breaking a streak, or what? No, this was going to be my first healthy day. Oh, then it doesn't matter. Okay. All right, yeah, I'll do it.
Starting point is 00:39:03 Donnie, it's 1.30. I don't have to. I can do. We got a lot of guys who are just baby steps in this health thing. I'm on a hot streak. Are you going beer out of the bottle? Hold on, hold on. You got to wait.
Starting point is 00:39:16 You got to wait. Yeah, wait. Are you going beer out of the bottle, or do you want to put it in the cup? You can pour it in the glass if you so choose. Dana, use that glass. All right, you got to stand over here, though, right next to me. I have to stand where? Stand right here because that's where and look at the camera that way.
Starting point is 00:39:33 And you'll be able to see the time, too. So Dana was 119. That was a good pour. It was a good pour. Now, did Dana do the pizza first or the beer first? He did kind of both. He tried the pizza first and that got him slow out of the game. You can do it standing.
Starting point is 00:39:47 Might be easier. You got 118. You can put the beer. You don't have to hold them both if you don't want to. Get comfortable. In the interest of time, you probably do need to hold them both. Well, Dana didn't. Well, Dana was terrible.
Starting point is 00:39:57 Dana also shit the bed. Wait, wait, wait. Are we doing head-to-head, Nick versus Donnie? No, no, no. Let's go separately. All right, so I'm going to say three, two, one, go. Donnie No no no Let's go separately Don't put yourself down Separately Alright so I'm gonna say 3, 2, 1
Starting point is 00:40:07 Go Donnie And then you're gonna go We're gonna share a cup with Dana You probably sucked a dick last night Well it's alright It's too late You're fine You got all
Starting point is 00:40:18 Your hands are on It's all ticky Whoa what is this technique I'm looking at By the way Nick you missed it Donnie said that he was Having
Starting point is 00:40:28 He didn't want to do it Because he was having A healthy Day It's 1.30 Did you hear about Did you hear about Donnie's broth cleanse
Starting point is 00:40:37 Yeah Yeah that was something You just had broth for lunch Gigantic dinner We're not exactly The suppers were huge Nutritionist here Alright
Starting point is 00:40:48 Are we ready to go? Alright so I'm gonna say 3, 2, 1, go Everyone go Are we guessing? Oh yeah let's guess Let's guess I'm gonna say
Starting point is 00:40:54 1 0 7 Say 59 seconds I'm gonna say 48 Oh I don't know 1
Starting point is 00:41:02 1 I'm your guy So Alright I'm gonna guy. All right. I'm going to go 157. 27. Wow. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:10 Here we go. Ready? Three, two, one, go. Oh, yes. I was almost there. He missed his mark. Yes. He's fucking doing it.
Starting point is 00:41:22 He paused. Oh, you're way ahead of Dana right now Way ahead Way ahead He started like how you feed like sharks I know Okay he let gravity do the work on that slice Yeah
Starting point is 00:41:35 It's very smart A lot of dripping He is vibrating I know It's to shake it down the esophagus He's got a nice pace But this is where the money's paid Not a great pace guys It's to shake it down the esophagus. He's got a nice pace, but this is where the money's paid. Not a great pace, guys. No, this is where, because it gets easier, I think.
Starting point is 00:41:51 No, it gets harder. It gets thicker bread. No, it gets harder. Imagine listening to this as a podcast, just chewing. Someone said it yesterday. They're like, I like listening to it and trying to figure out what the fuck you guys are doing. It's a choose your own adventure game. Beer's gone. Beer's guys. Beer's gone.
Starting point is 00:42:06 Beer's gone. Beer's gone. 101. Here we go. Come on. 101. Oh, come on. 59.
Starting point is 00:42:13 He's got to get it out. He's got to get it down. He's got to get it down. Wow. Oh, there's a lot, though. Very impressive. Dana, time to beat 118.96. Oh, go, go, go.
Starting point is 00:42:23 Got 10 seconds. Can he get it in? Can he do it? Folks, he is. No. Crust. Keep going, keep going, keep going. He got crusted.
Starting point is 00:42:37 Oh, you got crusted. Oh. Was it the crust, Donnie? Oh, this is. Oh, this is. Oh, this is bad. So Dana's a lot better than we thought. He's still working through it. Dana's better than we thought.
Starting point is 00:42:52 We should apologize to Dana. He's got it. 139. Good effort, though. Really strong start, but the crust held you back. That was not a strong start. I missed my mouth. Yeah, but you were on pace to destroy Dana.
Starting point is 00:43:06 Half the pizza was gone in eight seconds. Yeah. Damn. I tried to just have the beer wash down the pizza, but the pizza wasn't even chewed. So I would have just washed it. Talking to that mic over there. Yeah. That was tough.
Starting point is 00:43:19 Yeah, I tried to have the beer wash down the pizza, but the pizza was barely chewed. So I would have just had a half piece of pizza stuck in my throat. Was it the cheese? Dana said it was very cheesy. Very cheesy. Very oily. And yeah, I mean, maybe you actually should probably start with the crust. Oh, we're getting smarter.
Starting point is 00:43:39 Don't tell anyone. Okay. I think if I had done that, and then you use the beer to wash down the crust then you just slub that shove that cheese down your gullet oh love it all right well thank you donnie all right nick back to being healthy yep we know you're back in the house gonna go love cleanse myself go go puke all right nick i mean i can't compare to those guys i think you're gonna be incredible i think Nick might be looking at like three to four minutes. I think Nick might be looking at 30 to 40 seconds.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Nick is... See, if Dana was smart, he would have used his hidden talents, and he would have worked with the asshole a little bit. The asshole is not off limits. You can eat while drinking. That's a great point. Just shove the crust right up the ass. Both holes being filled.
Starting point is 00:44:28 Nick, make sure that's not too foamy, right? Nick is one of those guys, though. He'll surprise you. Oh, no. So Nick's already at a disadvantage. I don't think so. Two cups? Nah.
Starting point is 00:44:42 There we go. That's good. Perfect one cup. Nick surprises you when you, like, he just will. So I'm going to say. Nick, last night we were playing pop a shot because he's a pop a shot in his apartment. What? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:54 And we were playing pop a shot. Do you live at Dave and Buster's? And I think Owen got two. I think Owen's score was two. I played like 100 times. The best I got was 20. And Nick got like 49. What do you mean got?
Starting point is 00:45:07 In a row? No, that was his score. So, yes, I'm good at something I do every single day. No, I don't think you would have. Nick's really good at beating off. We have a pop shot here. Not like Nick's, though. It's the same exact one.
Starting point is 00:45:20 Not like Nick's. It is the same one. We use foam balls at Nick's. I got noise complaints when I switch the nurse. You have to go to sleepover if you say you're going to beat him. Let's do a sleepover. I have a Blu-ray player. Alright, we'll go after this. We'll play.
Starting point is 00:45:33 You'll be in it. Oh, fuck. Okay. I can't do it in front of this guy. This guy's going to the bathroom. Alright, when he goes in. Alright. I won't be in there long. I want their slice, though. That looks like a bigger slice.
Starting point is 00:45:50 Did we do guesses? Nick, I think this is a bad strategy. I'm not really worried about time with him. It's just surviving. Make sure you get the bulk of the crust off the jump. I'm Team Nick here. I'm going 55 seconds. I'm going 126.
Starting point is 00:46:04 55 seconds. I'm going 145. We are 1536. 55 seconds. I'm going 145. We are 153. Actually, yeah. Can he beat Donnie to anything? No. 101. Nick, I believe in you.
Starting point is 00:46:13 55 seconds. All right. It's going to be on go. All right. Three, two, one, go. Oh. Oh. That's big.
Starting point is 00:46:24 That's big. Yeah. Sucked that thing off. Oh, there's a lot to chew early. Oh, no. Really? It is so oily. Don't abuse the beer, brother.
Starting point is 00:46:34 This is the key bite right here. Come on, Nick. We're dilly-dallying too much. We're wasting too much time. Oh. Power one That was a power bite Oh
Starting point is 00:46:46 No A huge mistake For people who are listening to the podcast A piece of Nick's pizza Just fell into his cup of beer He's gonna have to come back to that It was a large piece It was bad
Starting point is 00:46:59 The pizza That's bad folks Half the pizza is inside of Nick's beer Quite an error You can't come back from. Oh, my God. He's dunking now. He's doing the Joey Chestnut.
Starting point is 00:47:09 He's not that far away, guys. He's actually winning a score here. He might have the winning score. Oh, my God. Come on, Nick. Come on, Nick. 118.96 is the record. I think this son of a bitch is going to do it.
Starting point is 00:47:28 Oh, my God. Oh. That's the cheese? Oh. You have it. What's in your mouth? What's happening? What's in your mouth?
Starting point is 00:47:39 What's happening? You were just there. Right there. You had it. What are you doing? What was that? You were just there. You had it. What are you doing? 125, 26, 126. What did you do there?
Starting point is 00:47:55 It looked like you were done. We're that close? I need to get more pizza. I can do it. Sometimes it takes a few tries. I thought he had it. Fuck. Need a dessert?
Starting point is 00:48:13 We got cake on the wall. No, don't do that on the... I don't know what shirt that is. It doesn't matter. There's wipes though right there. You went for a t-shirt instead of the wipes. I don't think anyone can do it. Under a minute?
Starting point is 00:48:26 I can. The problem is I actually am on like, I'm on like week three of a diet. The thing is, is like the pizza, the type of pizza is going to alter the score. Well, no, we'd have to do the same pizza every time. Don't send in your video
Starting point is 00:48:39 unless it's the same pizza. Someone's going to send in a video taking down a bagel bite. And a shot of beer. Yeah. I think I can beat it. Maybe I'll try on Friday. What's Friday?
Starting point is 00:48:52 Cheat day? It's close enough to the cheat day adjacent. Saturday. Did I beat Donnie? Yeah. Bend the knee a little bit. Friday and Sunday. You did beat Donnie.
Starting point is 00:49:02 Cheat day adjacent. I can beat Dana. Yeah, we saw that. You did beat Donnie. I can beat Dana. Yeah, we saw that. You were right there. I was afraid to swallow. Cold teeth. My teeth got cold. When you pause,
Starting point is 00:49:18 I thought you were about to throw up, which would have been honestly awesome. That was really sad. I was really rooting for you. Who is this man? Tyler Cameron. Let's get That was really sad. I was really rooting for you. Who are all these people? Who is this man? He is Tyler Cameron. Tyler Cameron. He's in and out.
Starting point is 00:49:28 Let's get his ass in here. Bro, it's Ty Cam. Go grab Tyler. What pants is he wearing? I think he and I are pretty much dressed exactly the same. Well, that's kind of anticlimactic. I'm not going to lie. I'm just going to be Straight shoot you guys
Starting point is 00:49:45 We didn't time that well I do want pizza Very badly Yeah no but just Like Nick Being He was Virtually
Starting point is 00:49:52 It looked like he was Done at 108 Yeah he was there I thought he was About to break a minute Swallow something Like sediment And then you
Starting point is 00:49:59 It wasn't sediment It was your own You must have been hoarding I hoarded it In your throat Yes I was like A Korean orphan Yeah Just like a Korean orphan.
Starting point is 00:50:08 My friend who's done it before, I asked how quick he did it, and he goes, I'm not sure I could leave the office right now. What? I wasn't asking him to do it right now. Your homies are stupid. Dumbass mofos. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:50:23 Really disappointed. How do you feel, though? I feel fine. I could do that right now again and beat my time. It's a shame we're out of pizza. It's a shame we're out of pizza. But I also could just pull the trigger and puke. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:39 You want me to? No, you've said this before. And I've done it. Nuh-uh. Puking this cup. I puked like four times on our last trip. Not on camera. Twice on camera.
Starting point is 00:50:53 I haven't puked in a long time. It was a bubbly, bubbly throat. Twice on camera. Boot and rally, bro. Fucking love that shit. Dude. I actually make myself pukes when I drink more. I invented the boot rally. Jinx.
Starting point is 00:51:08 Jinx. Sass and I were like legends back in the day with the boot rally. That's what they called us. I was boot, he was rally. Yeah. It was fucking sick, dude. There wasn't a party we would ever stop partying at. So you would just boot and he would get to rally?
Starting point is 00:51:27 Mm-hmm. A little bit of that, yeah? Yeah. I would just hold him up. I'd put him on my shoulders. He'd just projectile vomit on everyone. They loved it. Everyone loved it.
Starting point is 00:51:37 Brandon, did you ever have a nickname? No, I never had a nickname. Cheese nipples? What about cheese nipples? Yeah. I did not have cheese nipples. That's what I heard. That's what Grandin told us. No.
Starting point is 00:51:50 She told us that you were cheese nipples. She did not tell you that. You're all lying. She did. I remember that. She said it two weeks ago on the show. She said, yeah, you remember? She was in Mississippi with me two weeks ago.
Starting point is 00:52:00 She said, she called in. No, she was back first. She had no idea it had a negative connotation. She was trying to help you out. She said you used to. No, she was back first. She had no idea it had like a negative connotation. She was like trying to help you out. She said you used to lactate as a boy. And then it would harden overnight and it would come to you. Curdled over. You're running.
Starting point is 00:52:16 You're shaking up your titties. You would forget to pump in the morning so it would just build up in a little. It was almost like Cheese Whiz would just shoot out of your nipples. No, we never got the nickname Cheese Nipples. Cojita Cheese. Snipples Walker. That'd be a bad nickname.
Starting point is 00:52:36 That would. Good thing we won't bring it up ever again. Old Cheese Nips. Cheese Nips are actually delicious. You want to go to a cheese nips house? Yeah, his place is the best. He's got all kinds of snacks. Cheese out of his nipples.
Starting point is 00:52:50 Cheese nips would have the best sleepovers. We're going over to cheese nips. His parents don't give a fuck. We could suck on his nips all night. Bro, bring a sleeve of Ritz. We're going to cheese nips house You got your toll house We're going over to Cheese Nips We'll be up all night
Starting point is 00:53:12 Brandon calls his friends He's like Come on over Should we bring anything Yeah probably some saltines Your bullies were just like The hungriest kids Your bullies were malnourished
Starting point is 00:53:24 Instead of taking your lunch money They just like lift your shirt and suck your titty. Get over here, Walker. I'm starving. We got hamburgers and no cheese. Get your ass over here, cheese nips. Pressing burger patties up against his nipples. Old cheese nips. Someone draw cheese nips for us, please.
Starting point is 00:53:50 Buddha Ben is almost done with it. Buddha Ben had some great live tweets last night in the NBA Finals. Just was like Bobby Portis, five fouls. Hashtag NBA Finals. Hashtag blockchain. Just getting into the combo. All right. Should we call it cheese nips? Nah. Let's call it. Just getting into the combo. All right. Should we call it cheese nips?
Starting point is 00:54:07 Nah. Let's call it. Nah, we're just hitting our stride. I got another hour. I'm going to eat nips. Yeah, you got to suck on those nips. If I make this, we can end it. What are you shooting?
Starting point is 00:54:17 Oh. What were you shooting? You wouldn't have made that. You could shoot that 100 times. I don't know if you'd make it. I have a pop a shot in my house, motherfucker. That's all I do. I won't score two you'd make it. I have a pop-a-shot in my house, motherfucker. That's all I do. Owen scored two.
Starting point is 00:54:26 Oh, fuck. You made that. Did I? Yeah. Yeah, fuck yeah. Brandon's reaction to that was shocking. Well, no, that was coming towards my direction. You acted like someone just fired a gun at your head.
Starting point is 00:54:39 I thought it was impressive he made it from that distance. Go ahead, Nick. I think I had the right reaction. It was appropriate. You've been my biggest supporter since day one. Remember the first thing you said to me? What did I say? He almost assuredly does not.
Starting point is 00:54:53 It was my first day. You were like, first day, welcome. You think you're the most famous guy from Wheeling? No. You're like, you're right. It's Florio. And you just walked away. I didn't say that.
Starting point is 00:55:02 Yeah, you did. If I did, that's funny. All right, I'm going to make this. When he went in that question. That's more impressive. I didn't say that. Yeah, you did. If I did, that's funny. All right, I'm going to make this. All right, here we go. When he went in that crowd. That's more impressive. I'm going glass cup. Glass cup.
Starting point is 00:55:11 It's glass. Oh. So close. I mean, this glass cup is a glass. I'll go glass cup. What? Nothing. Way off.
Starting point is 00:55:24 You guys are terrible. You couldn't make it, Cheesnips. I don't have a sheet of paper. Smart. Chew it. Yeah, chew it. Is that on your diet? Have we had a woman on the show in season four? No.
Starting point is 00:55:37 Beeman was here for a second. Oh yeah, Beeman came in about the berries. Unsolicited. She just got a text. It was very solicited, wasn't it? No. No. Stupid ass.
Starting point is 00:55:49 Yeah, we should probably get a chicken here at some point. Fuck. Okay. Sass, finish the show with a flaming arrow. Do it at the camera, too. Yeah. I'll do it at that one. That was a really delayed one.
Starting point is 00:56:19 So delayed. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to start

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