The Yak - Case Race Part 2 : Tensions Flare Between Shane Gillis and Steven Cheah | The Yak 6-30-22
Episode Date: June 30, 2022BeersYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
A lot of nervous energy in here.
Ace race number two.
Nick's birthday.
Happy birthday, Nick.
Yeah, Nick.
Happy birthday, Nick.
Clap.
These are the last times you'll get any cuts in the camera before the booth gets drunk.
That's right.
I chose the worst spot.
Yeah.
We have special guests, Will Compton and Shane Gillis. Yeah. Here. Yeah. Clap's right. I chose the worst spot. Yeah. We have special guests, Will Compton
and Shane Gillis.
Here. Clap it up.
Clap it up.
I don't think Shane likes
us, but he's going to get drunk, so
then he will like us. What are you talking about?
I've been waiting. Once we get drunk, I think
he'll... I've been spreading negative propaganda
about all of you. Yeah, he has. Dude, he's
been basically saying you're a diva because you had like a list of demands. No, I've been spreading propaganda about about all of you he's been basically saying you're a diva
no I've been spreading propaganda
about you guys
he doesn't like you I want to have a competitive edge
who the fuck you didn't want to take
time out of your schedule to come to a stranger's
belated 30th birthday party
I'm excited for that
I was literally just trying to slow down on drinking
and then I got drunk
and agreed to do that feel trying to slow down on drinking. And then I got drunk and agreed to do it.
Feel free to slow down tonight.
Oh.
Itch.
Oh, Bo.
There you go.
All right, so Shane is teamed with Roan.
Will is teamed with Nick.
And Sass and I running it back.
And KB and Owen.
KB is, I don't know what he's doing.
I noticed nobody else
did team face paint.
Well, no,
TJ and Shay do.
We had planned to.
Have you not seen the movie
with Ultimate Warrior and Joker?
Oh, no.
Yeah, now I remember.
Yeah.
Reboot.
We got into a little tiff.
What happened?
It was supposed to be
White Sting.
I pivoted.
I walked in and he's the fucking alien.
What the fuck happened?
It's his birthday, though, right?
It's my birthday and I wanted to be an alien.
He doesn't like birthday wishes.
Is it a specific alien or just an alien?
I feel like she had a specific alien in mind, but I'm not sure from where.
Yeah.
She went all out.
The neck is something else.
She wanted him to take his shirt off.
She wanted to do my whole body.
First of all,
I asked to be purple Nick, so that's
when I'm purple. Right. And she
wouldn't do it. And so
I pivoted over to alien,
and she demanded that she do the neck as well.
Wanted to give me some neck. I think she has an alien
fetish. I think so. I think she was a little
sassy. Yeah. She wasn't sassy
to me. No, she told me to shut up, actually.
Yeah, you brought up a little Kavanaugh fetish. Yeah. I was't sassy to me. No, she told me to shut up, actually. Yeah, she, you brought up.
A little Cavanaugh. I was playing some
Brett Cavanaugh highlights.
You should play what he was playing, though, because it was dope
to get excited. It's mixed up.
I mean, right-wing people are usually,
you know, end up being face painters.
So, I don't know. You took
a gamble and lost. One way
or another. And then in the booth, we have
Stephen Che and TJ as a team.
Stephen Che is in the Revitalite costume.
Jesus.
Sponsored by Revitalite.
Well, let me just explain.
Sales asked if we could have someone in the Revitalite costume,
and I spared everyone here, and I was like,
yes, Stephen Che will be in the Revitalite costume.
I appreciate that.
That was a good move, right?
Looks comfy.
Didn't even hesitate. It looks really comfortable. Look appreciate that. I thought that was a good move, right? Looks comfy. Didn't even hesitate.
It looks really comfortable.
Look at him.
I'm down for whatever.
Yeah, see?
Honest opinion.
You can't even hear him yet.
You're going to hate him.
Will DeGlas is with us.
Why?
Football fan?
The headphones are lit.
That's great.
Why?
Football fan?
That's great, dude.
Keep it up, bro.
Steven, by the way, is the commissioner of the Mike Trout Fantasy League.
Oh, okay.
The one that Jock Peterson and Tommy Pham got a fight in.
Yeah.
And he doesn't know who any of these guys are.
He doesn't know who – he knows Mike Trout because he went to Eagles games.
That's how he knows him.
Yep.
Okay.
What were you saying, Will?
Nothing.
That's right.
We're just game planning. Wow. What's your guys' game plan? Yeah. We took a saying, Will? Nothing. That's right. We were just game planning.
Wow.
What's your guys' game plan?
Yeah.
We took a lot of Adderall.
Did you actually?
That's bullshit, dude.
You can't take PEDs.
That is.
You guys took Adderalls?
No.
You didn't.
I know you didn't.
PED.
I want to see whoever's knee is bouncing, whoever has their leg going sass.
Oh, your leg is crazy.
Whoever's got the vibrating leg I know is on some PEDs.
Not me.
Brandon's going to be the ref.
For a little bit, yeah, sure.
Is Tommy going to do the opening ceremony?
Tommy's doing the opening ceremony.
Tommy's playing Call of Duty right now, so I'll just go get him when it's time to open it up.
Okay, so let's just do the rules real quick, and then we can get it going.
Why can't we get the rules printed out?
Well, the rules are just the rules.
Oh, you could have read it before.
Oh, we should spin the wheel first.
Yeah, fuck.
I would love to get wet.
Yeah.
This is something.
Did you explain this to Will or Shane?
Oh, what's going on?
I think this is something I'm just not going to do at all.
No matter what it is.
I mean, I'm pretty certain.
Let me hear what it is first.
Yeah, we just spin it.
That's pretty much it is first. Yeah, we just spin it every show.
This always sucks when you have to explain the wheel to an outsider
and they're like, wait, how'd you guys do this?
It's pretty self-explanatory.
Yesterday, Ronan and TJ did a monster rip.
TJ may or may not have puked in the studio.
How did 24-hour fast get on the wheel?
I don't know.
You were out of the office for a week and we threw it up.
Yo, there's no, like, Monster Rip is on now?
Yeah.
Let's be, like...
We're not going to rip a fucking bong right before we go into a case race.
Why not?
It's not for today.
What are the odds that happen?
That could be tomorrow.
That could be us tomorrow.
Maybe we just don't...
All right, let's just spin it once.
Let's spin it once for the whole show.
It's going to be dry.
We'll be fine.
If it's a lot of the things, we'll wind up doing them at a later show.
Like cash for a week.
It's not like we're going to put a cast on right now.
No, we actually.
Spin it, spin it.
We have the technology.
We have the paper mache to cast.
The one that would really sneaky suck is.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
We'll reset.
Will, why'd you bring it up?
So this is another.
So we can do another wheel to figure out who's monster ripping.
To figure out who's ripping.
I'd rather not do that again.
Yeah, yeah.
Can we recuse ourselves?
We'll just do a mystery monster rip for the Monday when we come back.
That's a fair deal.
So we'll spin the wheel at a later date for that mystery monster.
Yeah, and then the first Monday back, someone will monster rip.
That's a fair deal.
Yeah.
Maybe we put these guys on the wheel and they just have to monster rip wherever they are.
Yeah, that actually works.
Yeah.
Put them on the wheel.
This is a nice two shot.
This looks sweet with the birds helmets.
You guys look undeniably cool.
I'm not feeling the...
Hey, I feel like you're hurting yourself with the bucket hat.
I don't know.
I watched Liam Gallagher's play music again,
and it was like a big fucking stadium in England,
and everyone was wearing bucket hats.
I think they're coming back.
Yeah, they are.
It's like England has them first.
I have another bucket hat.
Someone's going to want a bucket hat sometime throughout this day. Can I see it?
I got a bucket hat.
I can't wear a bucket hat?
You're not giving the bucket hat to another team.
All right, if you want the bucket hat, you obviously have dibs on the bucket hat.
I've got a bucket hat in my backpack.
I might let someone else get it and then say.
Then get it back.
I need that fucking bucket.
Give me the bucket.
All right, so here are the rules.
Let's get started.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's get loaded.
I'm saying it right now.
All right, here are the rules.
See, you're definitely on Adderall.
I could tell.
Look at his leg.
He's definitely on Adderall.
He's on the shit right now.
I'm not on Adderall.
All right, so here are the rules.
I wish you were on Adderall, man.
No.
In each cooler is 24 beers.
No, I'm not.
Only rule with the beers is try not to show the beers.
So you pour in the cup.
You have to drink out of your cup.
24 beers.
When you finish a beer, say it out loud.
They'll keep the score on the screen.
Here comes KB.
He's back
um late whoever finishes 24 first wins the losing team sorry the second last team has to play
twister in the lobby they have a game of twister and then i added a wrinkle that i don't think
anyone's gonna do but i think it'd be funny losing team, there's that box right there is a pop a shot.
They have to build the pop a shot drunk after the show.
Is it a one bucket or a two bucket?
Two bucket.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
So assembly's required.
That seems.
Assembly required on the losing team.
I think it'd be very funny if the losing team.
And you get a task rabbit.
Have to build an entire pop a shot.
It'd be real terrible.
Yeah, it would be terrible.
But there has to be incentives.
Hey, but I feel like that's a vibe killer.
Why?
They'll just be out there building it while we hang out.
Don't lose.
Don't lose.
Don't lose.
Listen, I know I'm not getting last.
I'm just saying I feel like that's a vibe killer.
You're going to make people build the pop a shot.
When it's all over, we're all hanging out drinking beer.
You can build it in here.
A.B., are you happy with your face paint?
No.
You have Halloween.
Not even Hollywood-esque. You have award-winning-esque.
Yeah, it's costume quality.
And yours looks like shit, dude.
Yours looks like a shitty, smudged Groucho Marx.
What is yours?
He has sunglasses.
Yeah, motherfucker.
They're on the ground.
Yeah, my bad, my bad, dude. I look stupid.
I look stupid with this fucking...
Can I see those?
Can I see those please?
Did you say your name?
I look stupid as hell, dude.
Are there pain on the Ray-Bans?
Yeah, you look good.
Don't worry.
No, I don't.
I look like fucking Ian Fidance
with a fucking on ketamine.
He didn't do as much.
She didn't do as much to me
as she did to Nick.
Yeah, obviously. It's a given. Granted, you did as much to me as she did to Nick. Yeah, obviously.
It's a given.
Granted, you did go right before me.
She had to warm up with you.
Let's drink.
What did you ask for?
Let's drink.
What did you want to get?
Disguise?
Disguise glasses.
Let's get loaded.
All right, so, and then the other rule is no puking.
If you puke, you're out.
If you heave, you leave.
It counts as, the beers you drank count for your team total, but if you puke, you're out. If you heave, you leave. It counts as the beers you drank count for your team total,
but if you puke, you're out.
Okay.
And then timeouts.
So what we did last time was every team gets one timeout,
and if you call a timeout, everyone can go to the bathroom.
Your team can keep drinking for those two minutes.
No one else can drink for those two minutes,
and then people can use the bathroom.
I was thinking this time what we should do is if you call a out is if you stay in your seat you can keep drinking if you get up out of your
seat you can't drink for those two minutes i like that so basically anyone can drink for the two
minutes during a time out but if you get up to go to the bathroom you can't you you cannot drink for
those two minutes what are the referees going to be doing as far as i can say that there's a penalty
or something like that say that somebody's drinking when they're not supposed to be or somebody's caught cheating.
What's the rule going to be as far as the referee?
Yeah, I cheated last time every beer.
What?
I poured some out or I threw a full can away.
Are you serious?
I don't want that to happen again.
You still came in last?
You control that.
Yeah, I cheated last time.
And you still came in last.
I did, yeah.
First time you're caught, two-minute penalty.
Second time, five.
Third time, pop.
What about adding a beer?
No, no, I think two should be a ten-minute penalty.
I think if you cheat, you have to build a pop-a-shot.
I don't think anybody's going to cheat twice.
Don't fucking cheat.
I didn't know KB cheated last time.
A question.
On the last one, when it was a timeout,
the team who called the timeout got to start drinking, and everybody else had to sit and watch. Yeah, so the difference is this one, when it was a timeout, the team who called the timeout got to start drinking.
Everybody else had to sit and watch.
Yeah, so the difference is this time, if you call a timeout.
It's more like a bathroom break.
If you sit.
Yeah, the timeouts are bathroom breaks.
If anyone calls a timeout, every team has one timeout.
If you call a timeout, if you get up out of your seat, you now can't drink for the next two minutes.
But if I call a timeout.
And I stay in my seat, I can keep drinking.
You can keep drinking with a timeout.
Correct.
And you can't leave the room unless it's under a timeout.
Yeah.
Okay.
So you're disqualified if you leave the room.
Okay.
And you have to be back in the two minutes, by the way.
That's the other thing.
You're disqualified if you have to piss and no one called timeout.
Yes.
That's where your team just has to use their timeout.
Yeah. Or you make an alliance with another team, have them call a timeout? Yes. That's where your team just has to use their timeout. Yeah.
Or you make an alliance with another team,
have them call a timeout.
Right.
Each person has a timeout or your team?
Each team has one timeout.
Okay.
That's tough.
It's not as bad as I thought it would be originally.
Oh, and of course, Sass called the first timeout.
I did.
I've been at Sass.
Call timeouts, dude.
Yeah, you'll be good.
Or just call a timeout as soon as you need one, and then by later on, people will be needing their timeouts, dude. Yeah, you'll be good. Or just call a timeout as soon as you need one,
and then by later on, people will be needing their timeouts.
Don't be afraid to be the first one to use a timeout.
We also have the odds on here.
I feel like the odds changed from earlier.
Now we're at plus 140.
I thought there was another set of odds.
No, they're just not in order.
Yeah, you're plus one.
Shane and Roan are the prohibitive favorites.
Myself and Sass are second.
Nick and Will third.
KB and Owen are like a whopping third.
Or Leicester City.
Whose odds are these?
Who made these?
Steven, did you make these?
And TJ, or?
Steve, come here.
No, I didn't make these.
These were tweeted out from the Yak on a graphic.
So those are the official ones.
Don't you run that account?
A lot of people have it.
Okay.
So it honestly could have been any of us. What are you eating right now? Yeah, what are you eating? I'll do anything
That was the most mouth I've ever heard. Dude, what was in your mouth?
I finished chips a few minutes ago, but I'm also
There's chips in your throat. Sorry. I'm speaking from a distance and inside
There's probably a little bit of an echo. What are people saying?
What do you mean?
It's not live.
Wait, no.
You think this is live?
No.
I'm already talking my shit.
Put your phone away.
It's insane how seriously people take drinking beer.
They think it's like the ultimate sign of a warrior, like cauliflower here.
Both of those things are kind of true.
I'm telling them all
to kill themselves.
Wait,
why are you pre-
How are you lying?
Nobody's already,
we're not lying.
I'm going to the last
yak case race
comment section
and telling people
to kill themselves.
Okay, alright,
fair.
But then put your phone away.
And I never win.
No phones until the race
is over.
I think that's it.
I'm O.A. Kitna
with this shit. I tell them to kill themselves and they still defeat me because they're anonymous. Who is over. I think that's it. I'm 08 Kitna with this shit.
I tell them to kill themselves and they still defeat me because they're anonymous.
Who is 08 Kitna?
08, the quarterback for the Lions.
When they were 08-16, who was it?
Was it Kitna?
Yeah.
Was it Culpepper?
No, it was Kitna, I think.
Yeah, you're 08 Kitna.
Orlovsky?
Were you fucking studying before you came in here?
It was Orlovsky.
Remember, he ran out the end zone of the script.
Who was it? Who was the starting quarterback? I think it was Orlovsky. Were you fucking studying before you came in here? It was Orlovsky. Remember, he ran out the end zone of the script. Who was it?
Who was the starting quarterback?
I think it was Orlovsky.
The starting quarterback.
Orlovsky was the one that stepped out of the end zone,
but I think Kitna started.
If I researched it, I would know for sure.
They're not keeping the same quarterback.
But Kitna was the—Cullpepper was the bulk, or no?
All right, football guy.
You fucking know.
Pull up your phone.
Your last search is there.
Yeah, I researched it.
It was pretty— Who was it? It was distributed between the three. Orlovsky? You guys didn't Pull up your phone. Your last search. Yeah, I researched it.
Who was it?
It was distributed between the three.
Orlovsky?
You guys didn't know for a fact, football guys.
Everybody said it. Seven games started.
Orlovsky, who else?
Kitna.
Stanton.
I said Kitna.
I'm like 0 for 7.
Oh, and Drew Henson.
A lot of quarterbacks.
All right. All right, let's get started.
Okay, does anyone have any other questions?
No? I don't think so.
You're allowed to smoke cigarettes. Wait, wait, wait.
You're allowed to smoke cigarettes. We need cup distribution.
I don't like Ron having a cup.
I think the cigarette thing is such bullshit, dude.
Why? Why?
Don't like cigarettes. Okay. Oh my god.
I can have an opinion.
No, you can't. Yes, an opinion. No, you can't.
Yes, you can.
No, you can't.
What are you taking, two?
Two.
You don't like the smell
or you don't like smoking them?
Are we going to beef early?
You really have to use plastic cups, guys.
Seriously.
It's ready to go.
Oh, yeah.
Last rule.
Most important rule.
Riff rule.
You can't just chug.
You have to be able to...
You can't be silent.
You have to conversate.
You have to talk. Refs will be't be silent. You have to conversate. That's why we need riffs.
You have to talk.
Riffs will be making sure we riff.
Brandon will do that.
You can't just go silent.
You can't just focus only on beer.
It's supposed to be...
Kate said she might come back later on.
She might be able to riff for us as well.
Okay.
A riff ref.
It's the Dana beers rule.
The ad?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll do the ad.
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in store or online at Barool's uh store and tweet us
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tonight we're not starting yet right no you can pour your first one all right had to make we're
starting yeah what no no we're not we're not drinking yet rule keeper over here before i don't
think it's gonna matter just try not show. Don't show the beer cans.
He wasn't in here for that.
Yeah, but he broke the first case race.
That was exactly what happened.
Don't show the beer cans.
And then KB just.
You can't show them?
No.
Yeah.
You all right?
Kill yourself.
Throw them in.
There's a trash bag right there.
I'm good.
Tommy.
Tommy, what's up, brother? Good to see you, Tommy.
There he is.
You got to turn the headphones down a little bit.
Are they loud for anyone else?
Come on into the room, brother.
It is parenting.
Brandon, you're going to have to police the riff rule.
Tommy, where's your weapon?
No one can just go silent.
I asked Tommy today if he's more into knives or swords these days.
He said, or I'm sorry, guns or knives these days. He said he's more into knives or swords these days. He said, or I'm sorry, guns or
knives these days. He said he's more into guns.
More into guns?
He said he's about to get taken shop or shooting
soon. The only amendment he likes.
It's the 13th. It's the worst one.
But isn't the uncle,
what, your uncle's going to take him shooting?
Uncle Doug is?
Uncle Doug.
And you feel safe in social studies Tommy you won't
Well Tommy
You'll shoot a deer
You told me today
You can't wait for your first kill
You wanna go suck out
It's last breath
Good luck gentlemen
In the case race
Thank you
And we're off or what
Work on the manifesto.
Should we do a countdown?
Should we start the clock or something?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind a countdown or a clock.
Wait, hold on.
So we actually have a live leaderboard this time
at the Excellent Control Room.
We're shaking.
We need a drink.
Okay, yeah.
So whenever you guys finish a beer,
tell me.
I'll update it in a sheet,
and I think it's going to go up on the screen
or on the graphic, so it's going to be a live
leaderboard.
We had that last time, too.
This is way cooler.
Awesome.
Everyone, cheers.
Ready? Let's go.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Owen's chugging his first.
Oh, wow. I love that. I guess we begin the riff. Here's yours today Owen's chugging his first Oh wow Oh
That's good
Love that
I guess we begin the riff
Owen's chugging
Yeah
So
KB
Anyone do anything cool today?
How was your day?
How was your day Shane?
It was good
I went to the gymnasium
I lifted
What are you lifting these days?
I have a personal trainer
That's
Really?
Yeah
Is that a money thing or like a personal thing?
It's how I can afford it or now I need it.
I can't afford it.
I need it.
And yeah, I'm not going to work out.
Keeps you honest.
I'm not going to work out publicly.
Correct.
I look fucking insane.
So what are you doing?
You doing?
I feel like personal trainers, they don't just let you bench though.
Yeah, we benched.
We did bench and deadlift yesterday.
What'd you bench?
Don't worry about what I benched.
Terrible.
Go ahead.
What'd you bench?
Come on, Shane.
We got to bench. We can bench later. Shane, can What'd you bench? Don't worry about what I benched. Go ahead. What'd you bench? Come on, Shane. We got a bench.
We can bench later.
Shane, can you at least bench over 185?
Yes.
Okay.
Same.
For how many reps?
You're supposed to say that you finished a beer.
Road.
Let's go.
We got one on the board for the boys.
Hey, how many reps can you do 185, Shane?
I'm not going to.
We're chilling.
A couple of heroes.
You got two. We got a lot of heroes out here. Dude, that'm not going to. We're chilling. A couple of heroes. You got two.
We got a lot of heroes out here.
Dude, that was so quick.
One.
One.
That was pretty quick.
One for us.
Dude, I will tell people to...
Yeah, and I'll tell people to kill themselves.
Me too.
Jesus.
It's not a point of toughness.
No, it's not.
Yeah, thank you.
It's a disease.
Sass, they're killing us right now.
Don't worry about it.
We're good.
Owen, are you at two?
No, I forgot to bring an opener.
That one is very good, too.
Let's just keep these open, huh?
Rowan brought his A game this time.
Yeah, I had to do like fucking sprints today.
You got two.
Jay.
Like how far?
I forget.
It was short.
It was short, but I had to go down.
I don't know if I.
Run sprints and then do fucking kettlebells.
And then run sprints and do sit-ups.
I'm never going to train at that rate.
Like a hit interval?
Yeah.
And my legs, the second, because we were doing squats and shit.
I'd run like a, like I have, for real, I look like I have special needs, dude.
My legs are shot.
I'm like, it's just me and a dude who's trying not to laugh at me.
Is there a certain point when you're in the middle of it,
you're like, I don't need to do this?
Yeah, today.
Yeah.
Wait, can we cut to Che real quick because he's trying to type
with the Revitalite thing on and he can't do it.
He can't hit the board because he's got the Revitalite.
Isn't he competing?
This is an absolute nightmare.
Take it off.
Take it off.
Take it off.
He's completely naked.
Take it off and put it in here.
Just put it in here.
Take that off.
Because we need to get
the scores right.
If the scores aren't right,
it doesn't matter.
Put it in here.
Oh, Roan, take it easy.
No, I get it too.
I'm fired up.
I'm fired up.
If we don't get our
fucking numbies up.
Wait, so what do you bench?
I don't know.
185 how many times?
How do you not know?
Guys, don't worry about what I'm up to.
No one should know.
Oh.
You're 15?
I'd argue that that's gay that you ask.
It's, yeah.
It was our gayest episode.
That's guy shit.
That's guy shit.
Yeah.
And my boy is talking about throwing the iron around.
Sass, you couldn't get 185.
That's not guy shit.
I look like I would be able to get 185, though.
Yeah, you've been in the gym for three
years straight. You go to the gym for six months.
Sass, you can do 135? The fact that you couldn't bench
185 is pathetic.
You came in so hot today.
I got wasted for
this. Hold on, Che, do you have all the scores?
KB pregame. I know I'm not going to win.
Brandon's talking about Euro.
All right.
Everyone say their scores.
Everyone say their scores.
We're at two.
We're at two total.
We're at two as well.
They're at two.
What are you guys at?
Owen has one.
I have a half.
They're at three.
They're at two.
Everyone's got two.
Yeah, because Owen just killed two.
Will's about to put up numbies.
Will's on.
Will's not riffing though.
Will's just fucking. Oh he's riffing though.
Will looks like
he's the best riffing
in the night.
He's like that big dog.
Will's got a fucking
thousand yard gaze.
You're not riffing bro.
You ain't riffing.
You ain't riffing.
You ain't riffing.
I just asked him
if he could rock 135.
That's not riffing dude.
You can't just
ask the question
and then chug a beer.
You bitch dude.
Why do you get to choose what's riffing and what's not?
Why do I get that, son?
It wasn't a riff.
There was no riff about it.
It wasn't a riff.
It wasn't nothing.
And also, that was like five minutes ago.
Yeah.
We have three.
Oh, it was five minutes ago.
We have three as well.
Nick, happy birthday.
Thanks, man.
I appreciate it.
Where's John Rich at? They know we're at three.
Jesus.
We're at four.
Don't do this. We're at four.
Actually referee it.
We're at four. I'm not sure these guys
know what they're doing. I'm getting nervous.
Team two has four beers
consumed. Did you finish your second?
They have two dudes on a keyboard like hacking
in a 90s movie.
Be a gentleman
I'll finish you up
I just finished my second
Okay so we're at three
I said we're at three
I said we're at three
Like this shouldn't be the biggest
This shouldn't be the biggest issue
Of the show
Well it kind of should be
Because I think
Some of you guys are lying
What the fuck?
Hey KB
We're doing a can check
KB you're in a bad mood.
Say that with your chest.
I'm not going to lie.
I'm a fan of yours.
I like that one.
It's throwing me off you kind of being in a bad mood.
I'm often in a bad mood.
My boys listen to Barstool, and they said you were the funniest.
Yeah.
Cumberland Valley boys?
Trinity.
Are you from Cumberland County?
Trinity.
It's D3, CV.
Shane, you're not lying, though.
What high school did you go to?
Trinity High School.
Is that Catholic? It is though. What high school did you go to? Trinity High School. Is that Catholic?
It is Catholic.
So what district?
What gave it away?
Yeah.
Were you Big Spring?
What district?
District 3.
But what school district?
If you were public.
He knows the school district.
Shane is trapped in the KB vortex now.
Autism vortex.
Trapped in the riff.
Rest in the riff.
Please, Geo, guess what district. Yeah. But I vortex. Get wrapped in the riff. Wrestling. Wrestling. Please, GeoGuess.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Brains.
But I did.
Yeah, that whole area.
I was listening earlier
and some of the shit
he was saying was horrendous.
What do you mean?
About scholarships.
Oh, yeah.
That was for real
one of the dumb.
What do you want?
Schools to have more money?
No.
Is that what you're arguing?
Hey, KB.
How much wrestlers
to have more money?
Everybody left.
Shane was tuned in
for one-on-one.
Is this about you or about school?
It's about you being like, I think the universities deserve to keep their money.
No, I didn't say that.
It's a ridiculous thing.
I said football players shouldn't give out 80 scholarships to backups who will never see the field.
Hang on.
Don't get charged up.
We had a good conversation about that.
Sometimes you don't know.
Let's get the third string linebacker who wouldn't even touch the field, D3.
Why does he deserve it?
He's a wrestler and he wants more for his wrestling.
Shane, his thing is...
Get rid of wrestling.
Yes, okay.
Scrap that, dude.
Are you still pro 80 scholarships for...
I would hope every wrestler...
50 of which will never touch the field.
Yes, obviously yes. Why? Who gives gives a fuck it's college dude what type of fucking grown man would
be like i don't want that kid to get free college a lot of grown men weird dude would be like they're
not giving enough to wrestling take that fucking guy's scholarship are you a fucking idiot well a
lot of a lot of weird dudes devote their lives to these 20-year-olds and how well they do.
Yeah, a lot of weird dudes do that.
Including myself.
I love college football.
So if you're obsessed with college football as a fan, it's just as weird.
No.
But the moments when someone gets on the spot.
It's just as weird as what?
It's just as weird as what?
Wanting the universities to keep the money?
Third stringers don't deserve a full ride.
Simple as that.
Why?
What are you talking about?
They do nothing for the team.
Hey, hey, hey, we talked about this.
We already talked about this.
They are losers.
You guys could take us anywhere.
They're not even good enough to play D3.
Dude, the third stringers become first stringers.
So many guys, they're always from other local heights.
Exactly, Big Cat.
They're like, you don't do that.
No, they go through four years,
and they don't have a single touch on the field,
and they're getting a full ride.
I don't give a fuck if wrestling deserves zero.
These guys, they literally failed in life at their best thing.
They don't deserve tuition paid for.
Football players are such prima donnas.
Oh, it turned into football players being prima donnas?
No, scrap wrestling.
Oh, come on, Nick.
What the fuck, Will?
I'm on your team.
It's not a profitable sport.
You realize that the third stringers become first stringers.
We had a girl on Ken Stay's team.
She played kicker full ride.
Were you mad she got a kicker?
You think she deserved one?
You think she deserved?
Deserved it?
Yes.
I do.
No, I hope she pays for her textbooks.
I hope that school gets more money for scores.
Yeah, but from that mindset, like every –
What's up, Che?
Che's fucking shit.
If they're working hard, sure.
What do you have?
If you're mediocre at high school football and can get money.
Nick, you okay?
You deserve it.
I just got trapped.
My shit got all tangled.
We're at five.
Nick, I can't take you seriously without a hat on.
You're at five?
Yes.
We have six cans in here.
I have one.
You're at four, brother.
No, six cans in here.
I've had three.
I'm in the middle.
We're at five.
I've had three. He's had two. Yeah. Yes. We're at four, brother. No, six cans in here. I've had three. I'm in the middle. We're at five. I've had three.
He's had two.
Yeah.
Yes, that is true.
We're at five.
Please.
You guys got to be important.
You guys got to be.
Yeah, we're at five.
How many are completed?
Sass, tell them.
Yes, I know how many are completed.
Tell them.
I can already tell them I have to puke tonight.
All the teams go through.
Shane and Ron have five.
Nick and KB have about to be six.
We're at five.
We've done four. Five. KB has done one. You've had three. We have five. We've done four.
KB has done one.
You've had three.
We have five.
I've had two.
We're at six.
Five.
I just finished my third.
Okay, yeah, we're at five.
We were at three.
Steve, we're at six.
Che, you have five beers.
Drink.
Where's the ref?
The leaderboard that Che was bragging about is not worse.
It's significantly worse.
It's worse than the last one.
Oh, no.
Oh, that was cool.
That was cool.
I liked that.
That was cool.
I apologize for what I just said.
That's cool if we use that.
Can you guys pay attention back there and watch?
B, are you cheating again?
I'm not cheating.
We got B-Walk back there.
We should be good now.
Fuck.
I'm hot.
I'm hot.
Hey, I saw you two, that look in your eye i was like yo stay
there and fucking tell them because i don't want to have to i want to hang out i don't have to
worry about if my score is why don't you worry about drinking okay don't even play me your one
beer don't even play four hundred beers whoa whoa yo why no good in the warrior why is sass
cocky it's the most annoying thing in the world
I love
I think it's the best
Wait till he starts complaining
I can't wait
Yo, I can't wait to see you at a comedy club
Me and you, we're fist fighting after this
What the fuck are you talking about?
See him at a comedy club like
Sass, I'd be able to do wrestling moves to you
I know, I'm joking
I'd be able to try moves out on you
Which one would you try?
Your weakest moves I'd rock bottom Sass moves out on you. Which one would you try? Your weakest moves?
I'd rock bottom Sass first.
Yeah, I feel like rock bottom.
Sass would be in the walls of Jericho.
You think you could take KB in a one-on-one?
No, I don't.
Absolutely not.
No.
But the backup.
We'll beat him.
We'll beat him.
Shippensburg deserves a full ride to go to college.
You know what?
He's got to be the weirdest thing on KB.
I'm getting a lot of negative energy.
I'm feeling negative energy.
Oh, no.
It is negative energy all over the place.
We're competing against each other.
You made me feel like you gave your own teammate.
You just called.
Sasko's big cat.
You weigh 400 pounds more than me.
I'm feeling a lot of negative energy.
Like, what's going on here?
You were coming at me for not drinking.
No, I said just focus on drinking.
Focus on drinking. He said, what are you talking about?
You are freaking out about the leaderboard.
Can I say it?
I'm not even drunk yet. I'm going to pause. I'm sorry.
Bring it down. I love this.
Alright, great.
Thank you. Brandon, thank you.
Did you guys catch the last
wrestling national championship? Remember that?
Oh, yeah.
Don't do this, Shane.
I don't remember how good the last.
Shane.
Oh, dude, it was almost as good as.
Shane, don't fuck with that.
Alabama, Georgia.
That was good.
That was so crazy.
Or wait, what about, yo, who's that fucking great college wrestler that I like?
Oh, yeah, I know who you're talking about.
Dan Gable?
Do you want to get him on the line?
Jordan Burroughs.
This isn't about wrestling versus football.
This is about.
It 100% is.
That's exactly your thing about it.
Yes, this is what spawned it.
It's what spawned it, but it's about the losers of football versus.
Bro, there's literally no losers in football.
Oh, they're football players.
Back up.
You're talking the third string quarterback at Chippensburg.
That guy gets more pussy than every wrestler combined.
He does.
Come on, bro.
Those are facts.
That's not even d1
that's not even what hang on hang on hang on hang on ballplayers do get so much you can't
so frustrating you can't say that a third stringer gets more than a a wrestler yeah you can a lot of
best wrestler oh yeah you're a wrestling guy too i got both i swing both i feel like i'm um as which
one so it's an unbiased observer did you get more pussy yeah observer, did you get more pussy? Yeah, what season did you get more pussy?
Yeah.
That's a simple answer.
Did you get more pussy in the fall or in the winter?
Nebraska, Burroughs.
They're kind of the same.
Burroughs ran through.
Oh, runs into the winter football season.
Right, but what sport, like when you were at the peak of your football?
I'm already fucked up already, dude.
I'm already fucked up already.
Worried about my teammates. He said, when you're in the peak of the football. I'm already you're fucked up already dude. I'm already you're fucked up already. Worried about my
teammates.
He said when you're
in the peak of the
football.
Shane you guys are
geeking me out
because now Shane
Gaston I feel like
an asshole.
You know you're
going to be like
I feel like a dick
now.
Shane take that
back.
You fucked me back.
You fucked Sass
I'm feeling like a
dick now.
Why you're good
at stand up.
Oh no don't do
that.
That's worse.
That's worse.
We should have done the face paint we talked about earlier. You're good at stand-up. Oh, no, don't do that. That's worse. God damn it. That's worse. We should have done the face paint we talked about earlier.
Brandon's got the score now.
You're throwing me into a mental spiral right now, man.
Oh, good.
You're headlining now, right?
That's pretty sick.
You deserve that.
Oh, stop it.
Fuck you.
Oh, yeah.
Fuck you.
It's all the work you put in, right?
Please stop it.
A lot of guys put in years of work.
Decade plus.
Please stop it. Decade plus. I was eating of work. Decade plus. Please stop it.
Decade plus.
I was eating beans in a basement.
Nick, you have no idea.
What was he doing a decade ago?
I do know how bad he is.
You have no idea where my mind is.
A decade ago, Sass was 11.
You've literally ended our team.
You have no idea where my mind is.
In one, in the first 20 minutes of competition, my team is dead.
You've never seen his first set, which is available on YouTube.com.
It's not. I deleted it. Yo. It's not. I deleted it.
I deleted it.
He did a great bit about homeless people.
Oh, nice. I thought it was good,
Sass. Seven about to be eight.
I thought it was a loose set. I'm in a mental trap
right now. I'm never escaping.
We're at eight, Brandon.
This will be keeping me up for weeks.
You got us at eight?
We're at six.
So are we.
Wait, no.
Did you just finish another one?
Or no?
We're at seven.
We're at seven?
Did you finish your second?
Yeah.
We're at seven.
Make sure to get Brandon.
We're at eight, Brandon.
Put us in first.
Who the fuck else is in the seat?
Who's moving the fucking cell?
I might give up.
Is it Che?
I don't know how Sass is feeling right now.
Listen, I feel most comfortable if we just tell Brandon.
I know you are.
Tell Brandon when you're done.
Hey, we're on set.
You fucking broke him, dude.
Brandon, you can see who's in the sheet.
Taking my will to win two.
I've had three.
There's nothing I can say to Shaner.
No, no, there's seven.
Oh, I know.
Seven.
Fucked.
Eight.
What am I going to say?
Six. Just perform. We're good. Fuck. Eight. What am I going to say? Six.
Just perform.
We're good.
We're good.
Engulps, baby.
What are you guys talking about?
No whispering.
Shut the fuck up.
This shit is like the dozen.
No whispering, dude.
If we whispered, you would have heard it.
No whispering.
Speaking of the dozen, Jeff D. Lowe coming in later.
Yeah, we're going to do some trivia later.
Will is not riffing, by the way.
Will.
Oh, my.
Dude, I'm fucking riffing with everybody.
You wouldn't even answer which.
Do you want him to talk over everybody?
Oh, Paul.
Paul.
There you go.
There we go.
That's a riff.
Can you please put a hat on?
Yeah, what do you got?
Hold on.
Yeah.
Is it bad?
No, I just, I never see you with a hat.
Hey, I can.
I mean, I just don't look like, I mean, I also, I don't look like me right now.
What's crazy is.
Hold on. Shane's got a question. Yeah, go ahead. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Pardon me me right now. What's crazy is... Shane's got a question.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Pardon me.
Pardon me.
Pardon me.
I don't want to...
But for real, give me credit on backup quarterbacks.
The argument was backup quarterback at Chippensburg gets more pussy than most wrestlers.
Yes.
Yes.
I agree.
Who gets more pussy than a backup quarterback?
Who gets more? That was a horrible one. Almost no one. You know, I agree. Who gets more pussy than a backup quarterback? Who gets more?
That was a horrible one.
No.
Backup quarterbacks get the most pussy.
Dude.
Put up what you're saying.
It depends.
How about those guys that come in?
The first string, they always have girlfriends.
Highly recruited dudes end up being kind of a flop.
They're the quarterback.
They're just like, fuck it.
I party.
They were the man in high school.
Yeah, but sometimes you can get like Ron Kellogg.
He was a backup at Nebraska.
No.
He wasn't getting pussy.
I came at Thursday.
Ron Kellogg didn't get pussy.
This dude pulled out
Ron Kellogg.
I watched Ron Kellogg
highlights last night, dude.
That's how I hit
that fucking Hail Mary.
Hail Mary gets Northwestern.
Yeah, you watched it last night.
Wait, I believe you.
Would you have watched
knowing that he got no pussy?
I watched Ron Kellogg
do his Hail Mary highlights.
Yes, yes.
Yeah, did you guys watch?
Hey, Shane, that was electric, bro.
Way more, though.
Roman Bravo Young?
Can, Kyle, can.
Can.
You're just breaking all the rules.
Shane, I just almost fucking spit out laughing.
What are you watching last night?
Last night I was watching fucking game-winning touchdown highlights.
You just Googled that? Don't worry what I'm watching at night? Last night I was watching game-winning touchdown highlights. You just Googled that?
Don't worry what I'm watching at night.
I like that.
Was it in bed?
Were you right before bed?
I don't like that.
I also was just laughing really hard.
What year is it?
It was like a 26-minute YouTube compilation.
That's awesome.
Did you see Greer De Jennings to beat Texas?
Greer De Jennings?
No, I did not actually.
Good one.
Did you see the Kirk Cousins against Wisconsin?
It was probably in there. Yes, I did. That fucking killed one. Did you see the Kirk Cousins against Wisconsin? It was probably in there.
Yes, I did.
That fucking killed it.
That was crazy.
We beat them in the Big Ten Championship.
I also saw Michigan State Notre Dame when they ran the fake field goal.
Yeah, we're at seven.
Go back and watch that.
Chaos.
Wait, what about the Golden Tate?
Was that a game-winning touchdown when Golden Tate jumped into the band?
No, it was not.
Who was that against?
It was against Michigan State.
That was fucking crazy.
Dude, I'm trying to get Golden Tate on the bus.
Golden Tate's a wild boy.
I know him and the...
Did he fuck Russell Wilson?
Yeah, he fucked his wife.
I know him.
And he fought Percy Harvin?
Didn't he beat up the Warriors?
No, him and Percy Harvin
fought at the...
Right before the Super Bowl.
Golden Tate's wife
and my sister are friends.
Hey, but Golden Tate's...
What?
Wait, who?
They have deaf children.
No, you're... Wait, sweet baby what are you on right now
kyle your nephew's deaf no i met him no my sister is he teaches deaf kids by the way i was laughing
so hard there because you were making like a real point about my sister knows i caught your face in
the in the tv and you look ridiculous we all all look ridiculous. That's a compilation, dude.
Oh, let's watch this.
It opens with Georgia.
Oh, Andy Murray was pissed.
Oh, was that the ball that got tipped?
Yep.
Aaron Murray.
That was sick.
Oh, Andy's brother that was the bastard.
I love college football so much.
Is that your favorite sport, Shane?
Yes.
This return against Duke is the funniest return of all time.
Miami rushes the field before he's in the end zone. There's about three
clips.
His knee is down.
That's ACC football
voice over there.
His knee is down at the 26.
His knee is down at the 26.
Let's finish another one, Sam.
This is way more important. Fuck you.
You're the ref.
Is my mic low? Can you hear me?
I got eight for a minute.
I don't think you've said anything.
Yeah.
Somebody's got to check this.
He's got two fucking beers, too.
Shane just destroyed my life.
That was 20 minutes ago, and you're stuck.
You watching this, like, we're soulmates.
That's like the best compilation you could ever watch.
I watched it last night.
And by the way, I watched it.
I've seen this a couple times.
Right around summertime, I tweet out, like, I can't wait for college football whenever
it pops in my head.
And it instantly gets like a thousand retweets because people are just like, college football
is the best.
College football is the best.
There's nothing better.
NFL.
I love the NFL.
I like hockey.
College football is just chaos.
Will, you're out of line, dude.
I watch Pat White highlights once a month.
You're not going back, dude.
Stop fucking around.
Oh, I will.
You're 10, baby.
Look at what you're doing, dude.
It's over, brother.
You're with us now, dude.
How awesome would it be if you did go back, though?
Yeah.
They're like, yo, what is this?
Hey, what's this one?
Yeah.
Oh, is this Cordell Stewart?
Yeah, you can come back, but you've got to handle this.
Fucking unreal.
Is this you with the face paint on?
Oh, no.
I'm definitely not Cordell Stewart.
Slash.
What a beast.
Brandon.
Dude, I read a story. Nine for the lead, Brandon Dude I read a story
Nine for the lead please
I read a story about Cordell Stewart
Oh you do
You know there was like just one cop
That made up that rumor that he was gay
Kick six
Kick six dude
Hey and fix your hair and your bucket hat
Cordell was never gay
Push the bang back dude
You're fucking up your helmet
Yeah push the bang back
Bro fuck both of you
Cordell was never gay
You're a pussy
And it's your birthday.
No, no, no.
I'm not going to tell you
that you're a pussy.
I don't like the negative vibes.
You guys heard anything?
No, Seth.
Seth, she wants to turn up.
I got humbled real hard.
Now I'm just a vibes guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Look at me.
Look at me.
Nine.
Learn this.
You're going to find it.
You were nine?
No, I was eight.
He was eight.
Brandon, I swear to God. How is this happening? Everybody's pushing. That's how you know, hey, that's how you know I'm not to find it. You were nine? No, I was eight. He was eight. Brandon, I swear to God.
How is this happening?
Everybody's pushing him.
That's how you know I'm not cheating, boys.
We could have easily just ran up 10 right there.
Easy.
Yeah.
You're going to be all right.
I'm just getting burpy.
I'm just getting foam in my gullet.
Just slow down if you need to.
What's this one, Shane?
I'm doing it.
What's this one?
Oh, is this Central Michigan?
Central Michigan race.
Fuck yes. The race to the final. That was awesome. Week one. Oh, is this Central Michigan? Central Michigan race. Fuck yes.
The race to the final.
That was awesome.
Week one.
Oh, God, that was great.
Ran in bleeding?
Maction.
Yeah, it was awesome.
Why is his shin bleeding?
Did you see the way he walked?
It was like his whole calf.
Mad, bro.
No one gave a fuck about Central Michigan.
I mean, that was an unreal upset.
KB, I was at Kent State.
I remember our game.
No one went to the game.
It beat Oklahoma State.
We had an NCAA championship.
No one went to the game.
KB, do you know what?
Kent State attendance.
One game against fucking Eastern Michigan was more than wrestling attendance for the last fucking decade.
The championship.
Dustin Kilgore won the NCAA title in the same year.
Holy shit, Dustin Kilgore.
I haven't heard that name in forever.
Yeah, in the same year, Andre Parker,
our Kent State football star,
returned a punt the opposite way
and was the...
Actually, pull that up.
Andre Parker, that's awesome.
Can you hear me?
What do you mean the opposite way?
He ran into their own NCAA.
Yes.
How do you do that on a punt? He was on the not top ten for like a month straight.
How do you do that on a punt?
Oh, Michael Crabtree.
That was such a fucking great game.
That was sick.
Shay, don't tell me no.
Look up Andre Parker reverse punt kick.
Oh, that guy.
We're at nine.
I like how Sass just turned to me and goes chug.
I was talking about Michael Crabtree.
I'm at six.
Will has been every time.
Oh, you're not. Drink. Yes, I am. We're at ten. You are goes chug. I'm at six. Will has been every time. You're not.
Drink.
Yes, I am.
We're at ten.
You are.
You are.
I'm wrong.
Yes, I've drank six and you just told me to chug.
Oh, no, because I've had three.
You're at five.
I've said.
Oh, we're at nine.
How well does Will fit in on this show?
Big Cat, I'm trying to be a podcast.
Right.
I get it.
No, no.
Stop arguing.
I feel like there's a lot of.
Oh, he doesn't riff, so he just drinks.
Does Sask get empty beers for just having multiple beers in front of him?
Show how pathetic backup football players are.
What does that mean?
You have two beers in front of you.
Is that him running the wrong way?
Hey, KB, throw the backup football player.
Yeah, show up.
Yeah, I'm going to show you.
I'm throwing it.
Is this it?
Go for it.
I'm furious.
I'm waiting for you.
Can you put that as the main screen?
No.
I can really relish.
AB, football brings in the most revenue.
I said I punted to him.
I know this for a fact, but I'm making fun of him now.
We're at 10 now?
Yeah.
Oh, and he did run it the wrong way, dude.
We're at 10, Brandon.
Oh, no way.
You know what I like about this podcast?
Against Towson?
Against Towson.
It's like four different podcasts at once.
That's what I like. It is. You can just toss on a bunch at once
That's what it is
Let's throw them a hundred twenty
Our highest viewed episode was the last one of these
I'm hurting
You couldn't understand a fucking thing going on
Yeah that's it you try
We'll get our beers together
Oh that's your full one
Oh wait we're at ten
Why do people have multiple full beers in front of them?
Oh, they're trying to warm up.
It's a strategy.
You warm them up.
You can chug them.
They said you could have two.
They said you could have two sitting there.
They did say that.
They said I was allowed to do it.
They said I was.
That was a mistake.
Dude, shout out to War Mode, though.
While we're in here, shout out War Mode.
We did shout them out today on the app.
I was shouting out War Mode, too. Shout out to Billion Spud. Shout out to Billion Spud. Yeah we're in here, shout out War Mode. We did shout him out today on the app. I was shouting out War Mode, too.
Shout out to Billion Spud.
Shout out to Billion Spud.
Yeah.
Who's better than Billion Spud?
Nobody.
I swear to God.
Who has a better?
They have the best podcast intro of all time.
One of them, Billion Spud, the goats, dude.
Like when it just cuts to Alex Jones and he's like,
did Sandy Hook really happen?
No, no, no.
That's a dude.
Is that not Alex Jones?
We're just trying to investigate the best.
Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane.
This is the best intro in all of podcasting.
There's a guy giving a presentation.
He goes, do you honestly and truly in your hearts
believe that Sandy Hook actually happened?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's ten dudes in a room going, no.
And he goes, all right, next question. It's with a rock and roll in the background, yeah. There's ten dudes in a room going, no. And he goes, all right, next question.
It's with the rock and roll in the background, too.
It's incredible.
So fucking good.
Hey, Shane, do you know?
I listened to that when I'm on my way to a bar on the weekend to get fired up.
I'm dead serious.
It fires me up for some reason.
Yo, keep cutting off that NFL linebacker.
Go ahead.
Jesus Christ.
For real.
You did a bunch of open mics.
Go ahead, NFL linebacker. Fuck you. Jesus Christ. For real. You did a bunch of open mics. Go ahead, NFL linebacker.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Guys, I'm a gentleman.
Cut off the NFL linebacker.
Part time, part time.
I hate you guys.
Hey, Alex Jones, do you know him?
I do not.
Oh, that was what we needed to hear.
That was what we desperately needed to hear.
These are the people who need $80,000.
Who would have guessed the decade-long NFL player
wouldn't be coming up with the best shit?
Fuck, man.
Don't get my side for once.
Let him get to you.
Don't let him get to you.
I'm trying to be.
Get my side for once.
Hey, yo, Shane.
You're all, yeah.
Yo, Shane.
What's up?
You know Alex Jones, though?
Right?
No, but, like, you really know Alex Alex Jones though, right?
Hey, you know Shane's in the Rogan circle.
I'm just trying to figure out
is Alex Jones crazy or not?
You know what I mean?
He's chill, bro.
He's getting sued.
He's actually super low-key.
We should have him in for one of these.
He's doing a shtick, actually.
Honestly, Big Cat, I can't believe you let all those
fucking you-talk-too-much-on-the-first-one comments get to you like this. You're quiet as a shtick, actually. Honestly, Big Cat, I can't believe you let all those fucking you talk too much on the first one comments get to you like this.
You're quiet as a church.
Dude, I...
I watched the first one back.
No, no, no.
I was so mad at myself.
I was like, shut the fuck up.
Zoom in on Big Cat.
Look at the camera.
Say, fuck the comment.
No, no, no.
Big Cat, Big Cat, Big Cat.
No, no, no.
When we watched the first one back, I was like,
will you shut the fuck up?
They are the humblest people in the world.
You were right.
Talk, Steven.
You text us individually apologizing for talking.
I talked way too much.
No, dude.
You're just making our job easier.
Yeah, no.
Isn't this your fucking office, dude?
I said no in a long apology.
He's not running mind games with me.
Hey, are we talking about whisper?
No, he's not.
I haven't talked for a while.
He's right.
No, but I need you up.
I need you up. I need you up.
I'm up.
We're tied for first.
We want to remind people to subscribe to the-
Oh, yes.
Time out.
Time out.
Everyone stop drinking for one minute.
Oh, that's your time out?
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No drinking.
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It's not my time.
It's a Yak-wide time out.
Subscribe to the Yak YouTube.
Subscribe.
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91.3
I've starved all of them too
I'm chasing
I've starved all of them too
Well, Nicky
You got bubblegum
Bad dude
Well, I'm on the
I'm currently talking to
Jordan Burrows
Nebraska grad
Three time
NCAA champ
You're not supposed to have your phone.
How's he doing?
How'd he get his phone?
He wants to talk to both of you guys.
Hey, B, are you texting him?
I'm currently in texting.
He wants to talk to both of you guys.
He's currently in texting.
Hey, text him right now and say,
Will wants to know if you remember when he whooped your ass in Madden back in 2010.
Nah, don't say that, dude.
Don't say that.
Ask him what it's like being a social studies teacher.
Shane.
Shane.
Wait.
Where's Bill and Shane Walker?
Are you talking about one of the best wrestlers in Kent State history?
No, no.
Hey, Shane.
Shane.
Wrestling history.
Hey, B, don't listen to him.
He's trying to get in your head.
I kind of wanted him to win this one, but...
Sorry about that.
I apologize.
Shane, are you...
Shane, do not disrespect Jordan Burrows, my guy.
What's he going to do?
He's going to do a lot.
Pin me down?
Make me feel good?
Yeah.
He did squats and sprints today.
Yeah.
I'm on cloud nine, dude.
What'd you do?
Oh, you ran tonight.
I fucking ran this morning.
At like five in the morning.
Timeout's over morning Time out's over
They announced in there that he's already fucked up and wants to wrestle
Che's fucked up?
Do you want to wrestle Che?
I think you're the funniest
You gotta put the headphones on
Put the headphones on
You're gonna hate him
I have one of your videos saved
Che put your headphones on
Are you from Montana? Mississippi? Missouri? I have one of your videos saved. Jane, put your headphones on. I don't want to hear that. You've got to hear them.
Are you from Montana?
Mississippi?
Missouri?
Missouri?
All right, I like that.
I'll listen to football.
You have my attention.
Football.
The football one.
Come on, Blue.
I got my attention, brother.
What did he say?
That dude's in the background yelling.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The J-Dog boys.
Yeah.
I have that video saved.
Oh, that fires me up.
What were you guys talking about?
We just side combo.
Just a little side zone.
Bunch of podcasts going at once.
Yeah, this rules, dude.
They're all bad.
And they all suck, yeah.
Shane, do you play video games?
Stop asking him that.
Why do you keep asking him that?
What the fuck are you trying to find out? He didn't answer me.
Hey, Shane, Shane.
Hey, he's not riffing.
He's not riffing.
Oh, he's not riffing.
Oh, that was weird.
Hey, we're tied up. Now we're tied up. That was scary. That was scary. Step in. Yeah, he's not riffing. He's not riffing. Oh, he's not riffing. Oh, that was weird. Hey, we're tied up.
Now we're tied up.
That was scary.
Hey, Kat.
That was scary.
Step in.
Yeah, he wasn't riffing.
For real, I do have a bit of a problem.
He's helpful, though.
He's kind of off-brand.
I laughed at his problem.
Shane, I do.
I just laughed in his face about his problem.
Can you just switch?
Hey, Shane, I do want to ask for real.
Do you want to get us in person real quick?
Yeah, yeah, ask, ask.
Are you the fastest
chugger that you know? No.
Who is? I mean, there's a lot of guys out there
that are pretty quick on the drug.
Hey, but I'm talking about who you know.
Huh.
Like Alex Jones. Like, how
fast does he chug?
Will, will you chug a beer for everyone?
You want me to for real?
No, I want you to.
Yo, you chugging that beer is one of my favorite videos.
I have that saved as well.
The only way we can capture Will chugging is like a phantom cam.
Did you hear the guys in the background?
Will, you are by far the funniest person that's ever been in the air.
So fast.
Will, chug.
The dude in the background.
I looked on what would absorb the booze the most.
I had like eight bananas today.
Yeah, I saw you walking around with a banana.
Yeah.
I was wondering.
I was like, dude.
It was like a Reddit comment with like three upvotes.
Every time I saw you, you had a banana.
Those are the worst.
Those are the worst because you see them and you're like, well, this has to be true because
three people agreed with it.
That's like Roan.
Roan shoves his face with a banana.
He hates bananas.
I just tried to become a fruit eater and I'm just not.
It wasn't in the cards. He hates bananas. I just tried to become a fruit eater and I'm just not. It wasn't in the cards.
Fruit's so hit or miss.
There's nothing about me
that's a fruit eater.
Fruit is sneaky.
You'll go at it though.
No, no, no.
Eggs?
Eggs is the best fucking food?
That's right.
I had eggs and avocado
last time.
It did not work.
Yo, where's turkey hoagies?
Yeah, it's definitely hoagies.
Show me turkey hoagies
because that's what
we fucking had.
Hoagies are PED.
Hey, what are you doing at the end of July?
We looked at this last time.
No, no, no, this is good.
Are they all like this?
What are you at?
Why are you asking?
Anything but these.
What the fuck you want to know for?
Think of it, San Francisco.
You're fucking mad curious.
Cobbs Comedy, let's go.
Hey, so the College Football Hall of Fame,
there's like an event going on there.
No, I'll never go, dude.
It needs to go. It needs to return to South Bend, dude. Was it in South Bend? Football Hall of Fame, there's like an event going on there. No, I'll never go, dude. It needs to go.
It needs to return to South Bend, dude.
Was it in South Bend?
College Hall of Fame.
Forever.
South Bend, baby.
It's in Atlanta, right?
KB is so mad.
The Wrestling Hall of Fame is just all college wrestlers, right?
I have a question for you.
Are there a million people in the Hall of Fame?
Not college wrestlers.
All the scholarships.
Shane.
Hold on.
Where's the Wrestling Hall of Fame?
Canada? Well, it's in Dubuque, Iowa. Ed Serious. Hold on. Where's the wrestling hall of fame? Canada?
Well, it's in Dubuque, Iowa.
Ed Serious.
Holy shit.
The Mecca.
Dubuque, Iowa.
Shane.
Nick, get on it.
Ed Serious question.
It's politically a Mecca.
It's politically Saudi Arabia.
There's a lot of bullies in this.
We hate women, too.
We hate women.
Will Notre Dame win a national championship in the next 20 years?
Yes.
Yeah?
Yes.
No, in football.
Football.
Yeah, yeah.
Yes.
They really aren't that close.
They're just right there, dude.
You need a five-star quarterback.
No, they're not.
No, they're not.
Yes, they are.
They need a five-star quarterback.
Yeah, they need a dynamic five-star quarterback.
Based on their schedule. Based on their schedule.
Based on their schedule.
Not beating anybody.
They're beating the ACC teams.
That's it.
Notre Dame will win a championship in the next 20 years.
That is a fact.
They're rhapsodizing over 20-year-old boys.
You're not so bad at stand-up.
You deserve to be headlining.
There it is.
I don't even want you to hear you talking about it.
It makes me sick.
It makes me sick hearing you talk about it.
Oh, a couple good tweets.
I'm so insecure.
Let's get this guy on stage.
Are we going to the game at Lambeau?
Was that this year?
No, it was at Soldier Field last year.
Yeah, I was there.
That sucked.
That was fun.
Hey, Sass, don't listen to Will.
Will just said I'm funny as fuck.
Dude, that game was hilarious.
He's hilarious.
I think you are.
You're hurting my feelings.
I think you were.
You're hurting my feelings in an unironic way.
When you started tweeting, you were funny as fuck.
In a very serious way.
You have some for real, like, this is what I do when I see your comedy.
I go.
Hmm.
I go like this.
Watch, Sass. I go, this Watch Sass
I go
Man he's done it again
He doesn't miss
This guy
Man
I'm gonna kill him
I will kill myself tonight
And it will be your fault
I love it dude
Yeah
Sass you know what he was doing at 21?
Playing at West Plains
Yeah but that's cool
Oh no TJ
Not that fucking cool
Oh the United States Military Academy
Oh no no TJ
Don't do that TJ funny guy I'll go out there And I will kill you too Oh, no, TJ. Not their fucking car. Oh, the United States Military Academy. Oh, no, no, TJ.
Don't do that to me. TJ, funny guy.
I'll go out there and I will kill you, too.
You got funny guy'd.
This is 13.
The only bad comes from that.
This is 13.
This is going to turn around on me.
This is why in real life.
Zass, you deserve this, dude.
You've been yapping, bro.
I wasn't yapping anyone.
What have I yapped?
Yeah, you have been. You yapped yapping anyone. What have I yapped? Yeah, you have been.
You yap a little bit.
When have you yapped?
Will has reverted to high school.
Yeah, it's Waynesboro High School.
Will's going to die for this.
I told you.
Waynesboro High School.
I love it.
We're at 11.
Their third string quarterback is probably getting so much pussy right now.
12.
We're at 12.
We're at 12 right now.
I'm at 5.
What are you at?
I've had 7.
There we go. You said've had 7. 13.
13.
That hurts.
That hurts to get to 12.
13.
I'm hurting.
Just lock in, bro.
Owen and KB are up 3.
Shane keeps chugging beers.
14.
14 for us.
10 off. He said, dude. 14. 14 for us. What are we?
10 off.
Well, he said he has a problem.
11 after this.
You have a real problem there.
That was such a great offhand comment that no one recognized.
You're like, yeah, I kind of really have a problem with this shit.
How are we supposed to recognize that, though?
He does comedy.
You can't not be drunk for comedy.
What?
11.
Do you agree or disagree?
I don't know.
I feel like I disagree with that.
I think that's a very easy cheat code to be drunk to go into comedy.
We should take him home.
Dude, when I did my-
Yeah, when you start, you got to be drunk.
No, I don't get fucked up before I go on.
Do you-
Is there a lot of coke in the comic scene?
I did.
But you don't go before-
I wish I was-
You never drink before a show.
Oh, for real?
You're dead sober? Never. I have one or two drink before a show. Oh, for real? You're dead sober?
Never.
I have one or two beers before a show.
Oh, that's great. Oh, wow.
Don't show this beer.
If I'm drunk on stage, it's a nightmare.
Tass is fucked up every show.
Oh, no, no, not anymore.
Not anymore.
I've never been around like a drunk guy that goes out on stage.
When you start stand-up, you're nervous so you get fucked up.
But no, dude, now, if I was shit-faced before a show...
I get...
Why, after?
You gotta talk for an hour.
I can't say anything.
Yeah, yeah.
I get that.
I was about to weigh in on my opinion, and then I decided...
I'm working.
I just...
It just swallowed a drink, and you yelled at me for not drinking.
Yeah, why not?
Yeah, why not?
Because I feel like I would be...
This is why I wasn't fucking stoned.
Because...
I knew that Nick and.
Stand-ups were rehearsed.
We said it.
Nick and Roan didn't try last time.
They rehearsed.
A lot of it is like body language and delivery.
You're too busy worrying about.
No, I would be way more comfortable giving like a.
Two conversations going on.
We got you.
We got to figure this out.
We're like 20 minutes in.
What are you guys about?
It's still light out.
It's 7.30.
It's okay.
And you haven't given us
one I'm the Joker bit.
Yeah, because Shane
killed my vibe.
You're the Joker, dude.
You're a big comedy.
Hey.
You end up a comedian.
Sass has got a Fitbit on.
I know.
Get his ass, Will.
Get his ass, Will.
Fry his ass up, Will.
You're literally going to create the Joker.
He's going to go kill someone tonight.
No, what's funny is multiple people will be
dying by my hands tonight.
Shane did say before all this started,
he was like, I'm going to destroy Sass tonight.
He said that to me in the fucking green room.
But he's Korean room.
I like how we call it the green room.
Well, it is a green room.
It's the Korean room.
What are you, fucking Jerry Seinfeld?
I hate you.
Why do we call it the green room?
It's got to be green.
I'm actually loving this so much now.
I hate you.
He's my teammate, and I'm like, keep going.
You don't know what this is going to do
for me. No, he's me.
Want to be good at stand-up? Yes.
Get eviscerated. You know what
he's going to do, Shane? He's going to shave his head
again. I will. I liked
his head shaved. It was cool, wasn't it?
Sass went into Dave's office.
Fucking face paint.
Sass went into Dave's office and asked for $500,000.
That's not true.
$5,000?
No!
$500,000.
Oh, $500,000?
And Dave was like,
no.
And then the next day,
Sass shaved his head
and was like,
it's totally unrelated.
You asked for
a half a million?
No.
It was two episodes
into our podcast.
The son of a boy dad has really taken off.
I need a half a million.
Do you want to lose?
Oh, no.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I will say.
He did not say that.
He did not say that.
I did not ask even remotely close.
I did not ask even remotely close.
I'm sorry.
But when I did get tonight my raise, I did shave my head.
Yes.
For some reason, to me, I was like, no, that had nothing to do with that.
And then two months later.
Yeah, he's 21.
No, I told him after.
I was like, dude, remember when you shaved your head after Dave denied your raise?
This was last week.
And I was like, yeah, maybe that did have something to do with it.
Yeah, he was like, no, that wasn't related.
I was like, wait.
I was walking with Sass after his raise got denied
and he's like,
if I'm making this
10 years in the future,
I'm going to kill myself.
I'm exactly 10 years older
than him.
I'm making the same.
That's just being 21, though.
You are living below the pot.
That's like,
Billy said that to me.
He was like,
do you think I could make this
in like five years?
I was like, yeah, probably.
Who knows?
Don't worry about it.
That's what I asked for.
You got to get mad.
Like, we have each other's numbers.
Shane, so you don't drink before you say it.
You have Sass's number?
No.
I was trying to reach out to you saying I was pivoting to Alien today.
That's my dude.
Be honest.
Hold up, hold up.
KB's got a side comment.
All right.
I just assumed, like, comedians would, like, tend to gravitate toward getting drunk before their set.
Why would I text a UB?
Shane said he does not do that at all.
But I stole Nashville.
In fact, the opposite.
I feel like there's a decent amount of sober comedians.
I mean, if it's like, all right, so in the city you do spots, so that's like 15-minute sets.
You can go on there and fucking shit.
Right, I get both.
That doesn't matter.
But when I'm on the road which every weekend
that's like the real stand-up you do an hour then you do another hour the same night you do two shows
so you got to be kind of sharp so for me like i would want i would want to be drunk regardless
so you wouldn't be able to do so shane question oh go Hi, new stand-up here. Question for Shane Gillis.
Sure, new stand-up.
You literally headlining.
That takes guys.
Sure, new head.
That ruined him.
That takes guys years, and you got it because, what do you do, funny tweets?
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm actually.
All right, let me ask Michael.
I want to put up a wall right here.
Do you want to be good at stand-up?
Yes, obviously.
Yes, I've been trying.
Do you care about stand-up? No, he wants good feedback. He just wants good feedback. I want to be good at stand-up? Yes, obviously. Do you care about stand-up?
No, he wants good feedback.
He just wants good feedback.
I want to be good at stand-up.
He just wants good feedback.
I can't wait for the text from Sass tomorrow being like,
I'm off the show.
I don't want to do this.
I told him.
I'm going straight back to Denver.
I know.
I want this conversation to happen.
Sass is definitely going on.
Mental health.
He went on mental health and he went on vacation.
I told him, I said, yo, I used some of my boys as a sounding board.
You were the only one that told me to let that one joke ride.
Yo.
What was the joke?
And I told him the same thing.
I said it was a funny joke.
Oh, yeah.
You and me are pretty much the same.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
God damn it.
It's over.
You're exactly right, S's over It's over for us
The only reason I didn't roll
I should stop drinking
I shouldn't get drunk
Dude you have no idea
What this is gonna do
I don't know
You gotta make a little more
Powers
Sass
I honestly should
I should honestly
Stop drinking
Because it's not worth
The hangover
No no
Like Shane
You have no idea
What this is gonna do
You have no idea
I probably have an idea.
What do you want?
The comments?
Dude, it's going to do nothing.
Oh, he definitely has an idea.
You don't think I've been destroyed before?
Hey, Shane.
I don't even know what's going on.
Shane, were you on that?
I don't know what I got myself.
Were you on SNL?
I was on the hit show, Saturday Night Live.
Hey, guys, we're all like What 30 year olds That love comedy
Yeah yeah
Man
Do you guys remember
How good
Saturday Night Live is
Of course
It was great
Will Ferrell
Adam Sandler
Oh no
I mean recently
That shit really cracks me up
Oh yeah
Owen Yang
The guy that was the iceberg dude
Basically
SNL has become
College wrestling
When it comes to attendance.
It is gigantic.
Fuck.
All the old heads still watch it every night.
It gets incredible numbers.
That's why it's still a talking point.
Shane, do you know how those ratings are?
16.
Shane just said, wait, he was on SNL.
We're at 13.
Shane, do you know how those ratings are for real?
Lorne Michaels is on pace to beat Tom Brands.
I think their ratings are probably fine.
A lot of old heads still watch it.
Sorry, Shane, care if I comment?
Guys, talk to somebody else.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't you guys have a fucking podcast?
Yeah, but we're trying to distract you from drinking.
No, I'm going to win.
It's not working. He's going off right now.
You've killed our team.
I'm going to drink myself to death.
Our team is
Our team is in shambles
Rowan by the way
Our podcast
It's over
We're done
Seth
Find a new co-host
Seth
Seth
I think Barstool
Should sign War Mode
I think that we should
Just bring War Mode
I'm gonna go get a job
At fucking Chipotle
That's all we have left?
This is it
We got six beers
Or seven beers left
Shit
Fuck
What?
Outside the one I have full right here.
Chug, chug, chug.
Big hat, I'm going to chug too.
You're telling me to chug?
I've had seven beers.
Sass, you've had five beers.
I've had eight.
Don't tell me to chug.
Oh.
Yeah, it's getting bad.
It's bad.
It's scary times over here.
Oh.
Sass keeps telling me to chug, and it's like, dude, I've been drinking the whole time.
Zass, no.
All right, we're now at 14.
Now, one time, he said I'm the Joker.
I know, because Shane.
He is not the Joker anymore.
Shane's making me so upset.
I was genuinely afraid this was going to be too easy.
I was, like, sad about, like, today.
You think it's too easy right now?
Today, I woke up, and I was like, I hope this isn think it's too easy right now? Today I woke up and I was like
I hope this isn't too easy
Cause that's bad
Dickhead
You're one in front of us
Bro if I wanted to I'd be
Yeah come on
Get him Nick
I appreciate you calling me bro
Think of all
You're one ahead of us
This sucks
I'm pissed
You want me to be two?
I do
Watch
Sass
No no no
Riff
He's got a riff
A riff
He ain't riffing dude
He's an animal
When Shane says he's got a problem
I think he might be
Fuck a problem
Now we're two animals
19
Now we're two
Might be telling the truth
I'm gonna
You know what Shane?
I believe you bro
That's 17
I believe you bro Thank you That's 17. I believe you, bro.
Thank you.
That's so sick.
You're a decade out of college.
Still act like it.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
Get him.
Get him, Nick.
Get him, Nick.
What was that?
Come at his neck.
What did you say?
He said you're a decade out of college.
Decade out of college.
What are you going to do?
You going to chug in front of me?
Sick.
Maybe we'll put you on the Barstool Sports Instagram.
Hey, hey. Dec decade out of college.
Okay, guy who works at fucking Barstool.
Dan, you can't laugh.
What?
No, I can laugh.
It's your namesake.
Wait, wait, wait.
Where are you right now?
I can laugh.
Where am I right now?
Are you here?
Are you at Barstool Sports?
AB.
No, no, no.
I mean if you're criticizing college behavior.
My boy Nick is doing fine. Sorry, but I can laugh because I'm richer than shit. AB, don't work at Barstool Sports? AB. No, no, no. I mean if you're criticizing college behavior. My boy Nick is doing fine.
But I can laugh because I'm richer than Shane.
AB, don't work at Barstool.
Yeah, yeah.
There we go.
I fought back.
You can laugh because I'm richer than Shane.
Yeah, he's fat.
That's a fact.
That's cool, though.
It's a fact.
Will is also richer than you.
Sass.
Is Will?
Well, maybe not.
Maybe not.
I got Will in
Two years
Okay
I'm killing myself tonight
You got it
You been saving Will
Will you been saving
Aggressively
Aw me and my boy Will
We got
You guys aren't happy
You been saving Will
I don't know if you will
In two years
Alright
Fine
Gene are you close to
Oh no two
I'm getting you that
Ten season
Will could you Could you Could you Walk away from everything You beat me in that Yes Shane, are you close to – Oh, no, two, two. I'm getting you that 10th season. You know what I'm talking about. I'm getting you that 10th season.
Will, could you walk away from everything?
You beat me in that one. Yes.
Yeah.
That's the best feeling in the world.
I mean –
My boy Nick.
I can walk away from everything.
I think it sucks because you know, but yeah.
Yeah, no, no.
There's a –
I don't ever want to –
I never want to work anywhere else besides Barstool, being real.
Oh, now we're into this part of the podcast.
No, no, no.
Throw it, throw it, throw it, throw it.
Hey.
I think BC is the wealthiest.
I could walk away at this part of the pod.
And I would be happy.
But I actually.
But no, for real.
That's a great feeling.
You boys.
I never want to be anywhere else but right here.
I don't want to be anywhere else but right here right now.
I'm being real.
No, no, I'm being real.
It's a liberating feeling.
Quig's giggling back there.
You know that number.
Shane will know that number in, like, I don't know, a year.
Of, like, I could walk away from everything.
We'll know that number in maybe 50, 20 years.
But Shane will know.
You guys try real hard.
No, I think Shane will be.
Why is he trying to Lil Bro you?
He's trying to call you Lil Bro.
Trying to Lil Bro you.
What's your biggest contract, Will?
No, but like Shane, no, you'll get there.
You will get there one day.
I keep laughing because I look at your fucking face.
I know, I know.
Your face.
Oh, Shane.
We get serious.
I look at your face, Pete.
I'm like, what the fuck?
Oh, but like Shane, you keep hanging around with Alex Jones like that Shane. We get serious? I look at your face, Pete. I'm like, what the fuck?
No, but, like, Shane, like, you keep hanging around with Alex Jones like that.
Like, you will get there.
You will get there, bro.
You don't talk for so long.
You don't talk. So, like, you guys keep denying Sandy Hook like that.
Like, you'll get there.
Yeah, yeah.
Get there, man.
He goes, yeah.
I'm not just saying that.
Like, I believe that.
I believe that shit.
Yeah, you guys can check out Lil Sass.
It's time for the bucket hat.
At the small room in Indianapolis.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
By the way, he deserves it.
He earned it for sure.
He'll be on the patio.
You're right.
You're right.
I won't play into that.
I'm the Joker, baby.
Wow, that's the ripcord.
Yeah, it was.
Hey, you'll go to the small room in Indy just for the shrimp cocktail.
I'm not going to the small room.
I was being honest with Shane.
I wanted to hear it.
For a second, I was asking him because I think he's doing very well.
But everyone knows Shane's doing well.
I was asking him.
You guys are sucking my dick.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I made the promise that you wouldn't fucking throw a dick.
People watching this are not like me.
No, fuck you, yeah.
I've been trying to be a dick.
Shane, what?
It looks like you're wearing it under your helmet.
It doesn't look like it's in his helmet.
Fuck, I want a bucket.
Yo, Will, let me get that bucket, bro.
Oh, cuzzy.
I want a bucket, that's so bad.
All right, dude, let me call timeout.
Should I call timeout just to get you the bucket?
No, no.
If you have to piss, call timeout.
We need 10 minutes.
We might finish this and not piss.
We can pause.
All we have to do is 24?
All right.
Shane, how do you?
That sounded rough.
That was bad.
That was bad.
That was deep.
That was deep. I'm sorry for talking. That was deep. That was deep.
I'm sorry for talking about money.
I was having a real conversation with Will and Shane.
Sorry.
18.
I just don't want to hear that conversation with me and my boys.
Well, yeah.
16.
16.
You and Shane can rent a room.
Me, you, and Shane, we'll talk later.
I walked Shane back to the makeup room today when he first saw Roan, and he
just goes, dude, you ready to die for
this shit, brother? He is ready to die.
Shane's got a problem, he says.
He's ready to die for it. He'll put it all on.
The problem is he's too fucking sick.
There's literally zero chance I was gonna
lose this. Shane. I saw it on
you. I saw it on you. Brandon.
One more. Alright.
Should we do some karaoke or something?
I feel like... I agree. I think we're
talking to Shane a little too much.
I actually... I agree. I don't like
that. This is an interview.
KB said before we can't neck you off too much.
There's no too much. I know. I don't want to neck him.
I do want to know... Why don't we neck Will?
Will's the fucking coolest dude here.
I want to know Will's contract. What's your biggest
contract in the league? Yeah, what's your biggest contract?
How much do you bench press?
Vetmin.
Vetmin?
Oh, Jesus, Stephen.
God damn.
Why did Chase have to buy you like that?
Or taxes.
Why is it taboo to talk about NFL salaries?
7.2?
That's nutty.
All right, I'll catch up.
I'm going to catch up.
You probably blew that, dude.
You got the mind of a peanut.
You're dumb as shit, dude.
You blew that.
You wish I did have a mind of a peanut.
You pass me some more Gardettos.
You're my best friend.
I'm going to make more Bustin' with the Boys than I ever will.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
We got Will Scott.
Hey.
It sucks, Will, to know that everyone can look this up.
Hey, wait, wait, wait.
Can you look up MyNetworth?
Because it comes up, and it's so fun.
Hey, scroll up.
Go to it and just test how I'm a millionaire on Google, and I love it.
Wait, no, no.
Go back.
Delete, delete.
The first result after Lil Sass was mental health.
It's bad right now.
Where was mental health at?
Wait.
Okay, delete that.
Delete that. Lil Saskatchewan. That was bad
What you got Shane
What the fuck are you talking shit about dude
You were just saying
You got the glasses on
These are glasses you think I'm looking at you
I thought you were looking at me
You're dumb
It hurts so bad right now.
I got a road.
It's over.
Never.
You fired up.
Dude, you pay.
You make a seven million.
How much are you making?
The amount of emotional investment you've put into guys exactly like him is insane.
You guys are all in your 30s and you're insecure about where your money's going.
How talented you are.
I love you.
I apologize for contributing the money.
I think you're the fucking man.
That's my bad.
Bitch ass, dude.
I was having an honest conversation.
I want to hear about Brandon's money.
No, I want to get into it.
Brandon's money's been good.
I want to get into it.
Shane, genuinely, I think you're the funniest comedian alive.
Will.
He's a gay as fuck, dude.
Chill the fuck out.
No, no, no.
I'm going to say it. I'm going gay as fuck, dude. Chill the fuck out. No, no, no, no.
I'm going to say it.
I'm going to say it.
I'm going to say it.
I think Will is the funniest Twitter follow by a mile.
And I have said that.
Owen, have I said that?
Have I said that, Owen?
I have said that multiple times.
Stop it.
You're the Joker, baby.
I don't care.
I'm the Joker.
Be the Joker.
But I'm going to support my boys.
Brandon, what do you think of what he just said? No matter how much they shit on me and put me down and make me,
I will kill myself today.
If this isn't last night, you will see me.
But I want to go out, and I think you are the funniest guy. No, no, no.
Hey, Lil Sass, let me tell you this.
I think you deserve all the success you've had.
And I think that Will is the best.
I think that Will is the best.
I think the crowd speaks for themselves.
Come on, Sass. Sass, I'm up. Sass, I'm up. This is insane. I think that will is the best. I think the crowd speaks for themselves. Come on, Seth.
Seth, I'm up.
Seth, I'm up.
This is insane.
He's destroyed my team.
Yeah.
Big Cat, you have me over here sucking down beer.
Chirping, dog.
I can't do anything about this.
I was getting this dumb fucking makeup.
You walked in.
You were like, you chirped a little, baby.
What are you talking about?
You got to find out, dog.
Big Cat, I know I haven't drank as much beer as you.
I know I haven't.
Whoa!
What, what, Sass?
I'm going to say that because Sass keeps looking at me.
Sass literally is looking at me.
Give Shane five seconds without question.
Sass has looked at me three different times.
No, but Shane, like Alex Jones, though.
Stop, stop, stop.
You know Alex Jones, though. Stop, stop, stop. You know Alex Jones, though.
Will, just fight Sass.
Fight him.
Oh, shit.
KB Ab Swag is out right now.
Sass has looked at me three different times being like, let's just chug.
Will is the funny one.
Four beers in front of him.
I'm fucking full, dude.
A.
No.
B.
E.
Big cat.
I am up.
17.
Let's just chug.
17.
I just lose one.
God fucking damn it.
17.
Headphones just fuck up too?
Steven Che, how did you avoid shooting up a fucking school, dude?
I'm at 11. I'm at 11
and Sass is at 6 and he keeps telling me to chug.
What? He's
permanently positive in his outlook.
Jay won't take that. Oh, really?
Jay won't take no positive at all.
There's never been an optimist like him.
He can't be like, he can't be knocked off his peg.
Have you guys ever seen that TED talk where the dude's like,
I almost shot up a school?
No.
I watched that shit, and I was like, wait, why isn't this dude in fucking prison?
Wait, what?
Tax, bro.
So that reminds me.
Good point, Tess.
I'll tell this story real quick.
Wait, wait, good point.
Doubling up on that.
Shane, you know Alex Jones, right?
I'm going to tell this story real quick.
You shut up for a sec, Seth?
Sandy Hook didn't happen.
Are we all in agreement
that Sandy Hook didn't happen?
You shut up for a second, Seth?
That's not going to be the recurring joke
of the episode.
CJ, can you find...
Oh, Will Compton, NFL linebacker, just said Sandy Hook
didn't happen. I'm part-time, brother.
TJ, can you find my interview with the Quest Bar guy?
What the fuck?
Depressed Bar guy?
Quest Bar.
Quest.
The rapist.
Yeah.
Quest Bar guy.
Not a rapist.
That's my bad.
I apologize to Quest.
He is not a rapist.
Shane.
Forget it.
He's a defender of raping.
Literally, we interviewed the Quest Bar guy.
And we asked him, like, what was the change in your life?
What changed everything?
He was like, one day I realized that if a woman came into my house.
What was your life?
I'm a man.
I'm not going to tell a story.
Tell a story.
Tell a story. This is hilarious. Enjoy, I'm mad. I'm not going to tell a story. Tell a story. Tell a story.
This is hilarious.
Enjoy the coattails.
No, Shane, you ever had to...
Sorry, I keep on going.
Jesus Christ, dude.
Sorry.
That's bad.
You don't have to cosign him talking.
He can just talk.
God damn.
We interviewed the Quest Bar guy.
I got to find this clip.
Holy shit, you got the Quest Bar guy. Quest Bar guy. I got to find this clip. Holy shit, you got the Quest Bar guy.
Quest Bar guy.
That was an A-Rod special.
Bars are fire, too.
We asked him what changed in his life,
and he was like, one day I realized
if a man came into my house and tried to rape my wife,
I wouldn't be able to defend her.
We're like, what?
And then he invented Quest Bars.
And that was when I realized I had to invent Quest Bars. That's incredible. We're like What? And then he invented Quest bars And he's like
And that was when I realized
I had to invent Quest bars
That's incredible
I'm like what the fuck dude
It makes you wanna
Eat a Quest bar
It was one of the craziest
Moments I've ever
Experienced in my life
It was fucking insane
I was just like
Holy fuck dude
That's when I knew
What do you say
Sass let me tell the story
Tell the story
It's my story
No no no Sass was there Everyone shut up That's what I knew what story
Everyone shut up. I'm killing my watch the clip
Let's watch the cool. That is name much. You mean river the flag brandon guy. It's a quest mark Tom Billy
Pena or Mike Oz bill you got it Billy
Love that. Time out. Big Cat, we're there.
Time out.
Time out.
Time out.
Time out.
Time out.
Everyone stop drinking unless they get up.
If they get up, stop drinking.
Can we keep drinking?
Yes.
I don't have to piss either.
Drink?
You can drink.
You can drink.
Wait.
I thought time out meant whoever called it is the only one allowed to drink.
If you get up, you can't drink.
If KB gets up, we can't drink.
Who said the timeout?
Shane.
I'll chug one and piss.
No, no, no.
Who said the timeout?
You can't go piss.
Stay in your seat.
If you drink, you have to stay in your seat.
All right, I'll piss then.
All right, how's everybody doing?
Anybody need help?
Who called the timeout?
It's bad, Brandon.
Owen called the timeout.
Owen called the timeout.
We're good, we're good.
Big head, I'm soaked.
I'm going to keep drinking. Shane's probably not coming back.
No, Shane's a beast.
Yeah, Shane's definitely leaving you.
Shane's definitely going to go hang out with Alex.
It's not a blowout.
Yeah.
Can he be drinking right now?
I am going to kill myself.
Yeah, he can be drinking right now.
All right, well, it's a blowout and you're tied.
Right.
I don't give a fuck, dude.
I know how much Shane's playing mental games on me, but I am not.
You have to stop, Sass.
Why aren't you talking into a mic?
Put it on me, TJ.
Why is your mic behind you?
Zoom in.
He's playing mental games.
Zoom in.
I'm going to give a speech.
I look up to Shane.
Why is your mic behind you?
I'm going to kill it myself.
This is so much faster than the last one.
Sass is so much faster.
Sass needs to fucking...
Big Cat, have I not kept up?
No.
You're fucking...
Are you fucking kidding me, dude?
Stop bending the knee to Shane, Sass.
Sass, you have not...
You are.
It's tough when you have someone...
I know.
Sass, you're a six-ounce...
Big Cat.
I'm at him, though.
By 11th.
You've not kept up. Big Cat, I'm on seven. Right, I'm had 10. I've had 10. I'm at him, though. By 11th. You've not kept up.
I'm on 7.
Right.
I'm on 10.
Okay, but that's not that much of a difference.
It's a field goal.
It's 3.
If you had 10 as well, we'd be tied for the lead.
I know, dude, but I can't.
You know I can't.
You said the underdogs.
Have I had more than Nick?
Have I had more than Nick?
You're the friendly champ, sir.
I've had more than Nick and Roan.
I don't think that's true.
It is true.
Nick and Roan have been chugging.
No.
Come out.
I'm up to you.
How much have you drunk?
Dude, I'm drinking my ass off.
You're doing good.
Just come at Shane a little bit more.
I think Nick.
What do I even come at him for?
Oh, shit.
Talk shit.
You want me to show this?
You got kicked off of SNL and then making more money.
Yeah, why not?
That would be funny as shit.
Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. off of SNL and then ended up making more money. Yeah, why not? That would be funny as shit.
Wake up, I'm going to get back.
Wake up, I'm going to get back.
There's nothing funny about it. SNL's a cultural institution.
Wake up, I'm going to get back.
There's nothing funny about it, though, because you ended up getting rich as fuck.
Do we have 21?
We have 21.
Yeah.
Tim Meadows was on SNL.
You had 21?
Yeah, we had 12.
Wow.
You're 20.
I just needed it, Will.
I'm working relaxed.
I'm 18.
We're 18.
I'm rooting for you guys.
I'm rooting for you guys.
Big Cat, we're 18. We're 18. Shut the fuck up. I'm rooting for you guys. I'm rooting for you guys. Big Cat, we're at 18.
Shut the fuck up. I'm entering it.
18 over here for Sass.
Did Shane Gillis
send an anti-Asian joke?
Oh my god.
Oh no.
Wait, wait.
Shane asked like five minutes ago.
He was like, wait, Gillis was on SNL?
Dude, I have no idea who this guy is.
Oh, no.
Let's address that after the game.
I'll wrestle him.
Let's address that after the game.
God damn it.
Let's change it.
Yo, Rone, Stephen just said,
did Shane Gillis have an anti-Asian joke?
I don't know who this guy is.
He's an Eagles fan.
I know that.
How fast do I have time?
Steven, save that for after the race.
I'll say it to his face.
See, I'm right.
We're at 18.
We're at 18.
We're at 18.
Big head.
We're at 17.
I have 11.
Should we chug?
You keep saying if we should chug and I'm fucking so drunk.
I'm obliterated, Big Cat.
I've had 11 beers.
I've had 8.
You had 6, 7.
No, I did not have 6.
We're at 18.
You've had 7.
Don't bullshit me.
We're also at 18.
All right.
Should we, big head, should we chug?
You keep saying that.
You should chug.
It's a team effort.
I understand, but I'm at fucking 11 beers.
You should chug.
I'm at seven, dude.
I know, but you should chug.
You understand how, I weigh like 140 pounds, dude.
You keep saying that.
I'm fucking putting my balls on the line, trying my best.
Jay.
How many we have left?
Two left.
Okay, let's fucking house.
We're at 22.
Fucking open your cooler and figure out how many you got.
We're at 22, Jay.
Jay, we're at 18.
No, fucking, who's at 22?
While Shane was pissing.
Jay, we're at 18. Hey, we're at 18.
Hey, we're at 18.
Steven, we're at 18.
Brandon's keeping score.
Brandon's keeping score.
We're at 18, Steven.
Hey.
No, because then no one will get up because they're already pissed.
You guys are going to catch me?
Call timeout.
We're ahead of you, asshole.
Timeout on us.
Timeout on us.
Timeout on us.
This is 23.
This is 24.
You should have pissed in the last timeout, dude.
Wait, you can't bring your beer, Sass.
You can't bring your beer.
You can't bring your beer.
Fuck.
Oh, no.
Sass is bringing his beer.
Please update the live. We have 18.
We have 18.
It's over right here.
Hey, what? It's over?
The whole thing is over?
You guys still have more, boy.
No, it's over.
No, I see a beer right there.
Hey, boys.
You better hurry up and get it.
It's over. It's over. This a beer right there. There's a beer right there. Hey, boys. You better hurry up and get it. It's over.
It's over.
This is 24.
This is 24 right here.
I'm chugging right now.
Hurry up.
Give me the last beer, Will.
Hey.
Hey, watch.
What am I fucking doing?
Will's going to chug.
The Will Compton chug.
Oh, he's doing it.
Yeah, boy.
That's it.
Is that it?
Yeah, that's it.
That's right, boy.
That's an hour.
That's like an hour. Put his white bucket on, dude. Get his bucket, dude. Is that it? Give, that's it. That's right, boy. That's an hour. That's like an hour.
Put his white bucket on, dude.
Get his bucket, dude.
Give him his white bucket.
This is what happened.
You're a hoss, dude.
You're a fucking hoss.
I am.
Unfortunately, I am a hoss.
It's a real one.
You're one away.
Oh, no.
You don't want to be a hoss.
I don't like it.
Oh, no.
You were built for this.
You know what I would like to be?
A D3 wrestler that complains about football players getting tuition.
Yes, me.
And I will continue to do that.
All right, I'm going to go take a piss.
Hey, how many did you have, bro?
Let's do a full show after this.
You can't.
I had enough.
You did great.
That's how many I had.
I had enough.
You did great.
I had.
Fuck this.
Oh, my God.
Look at this.
Look at this.
This is football.
This is football.
Football culture is just hyping everyone up.
Football culture is hyping everyone up with no merit.
It's like, oh, you're also a dude who plays my sport. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to love you for that. You guys have no merit. It's like, oh, you're also a dude who plays my sport? Yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna love you for that.
You guys have no merit.
You guys have done nothing in your life.
You guys have.
Who has?
Will has. I don't know what Shane
has done. It is a pathetic
sport of like...
He's saying football is a pathetic sport, dude.
He's talking about football is a pathetic sport. You might have to
pin him again. It's all just sucking
each other off.
Big Cat, I forgot you were here, dog.
How'd you do?
Big Cat, I thought you were the big guy.
How'd you do, dude?
How'd you do, bitch? You didn't do shit.
It was one hour. It took an hour
to do this. It took like four hours to do this. I'm gonna do shit. It was one hour. It took an hour to do this. It took like four hours
to do this. I'm so...
My body is bursting
with anger right now. You guys are pussies.
You are
too.
Talk to him. Talk to him.
I hate outspoken football
players. What the fuck
is your problem? I'm out. What?
You're talking shit on me. I remember I used to play football. How do you have your problem? I'm out. What? I mean, you're talking shit on me.
I remember I used to play football.
How do you have a career?
I remember...
Shane.
How do I have a career?
He does good tweets too, dude.
He is...
He's Sass's dad.
No, he's Sass's dad, dude.
I used to play football.
He found Sass.
He, like, made Sass funny.
He doesn't tweet.
I used to play football.
He stopped tweeting.
I do have a question for you.
I used to play football.
I remember that was, like, the most dick I've ever gotten in my ass.
Will, grab a seat.
Holy shit.
What's your question?
I remember playing football and, like, every day in the locker room,
we'd just get dick up our ass.
You were so close.
It was awesome.
It was great.
Rewind the tape.
Wait until you see when I came back from my one whiz.
One single whiz.
I found out that you boys are close.
I didn't know what you had in bang bang.
I said Roan, my dog.
That was an incredible performance.
I said Roan, my dog.
Sit this one out.
I wish my team was.
Yeah, yeah, go, go, go, go.
God bless.
I think I probably did.
You probably did 14 out of 10.
The first 15, nine.
The first episode was four hours.
This is...
Oh, no, we're not done drinking.
We're not done drinking.
We are.
We're out of beers.
Can we get some of your beers, Sass?
Because we're out.
No.
Fuck you, Roan.
Everybody has a beer.
You had 14 beers, I'll admit.
I mean, you're way better than me.
That was so faster than the last one.
I had 12.
I've known Roan for fucking eight years.
This is the first time I've ever seen him drink more than one beer.
I think Will's out.
Roan might be out.
Follow Will.
He just said I left it all on the field, but it's cold.
Will's obliterated.
It's a cold night.
Yes.
Me and Big Kid have two beers left.
He's walking like a Grand Theft Auto character.
Come back.
I'm going to get him.
Will had six.
Come back.
We can't let that guy go out.
No shade.
That guy can't.
Sit down, Will. Sit in one of these chairs. Come out. No, Shane. Hey. That guy can't drink. Hey, sit down.
Sit down, Will.
Hang out.
Hang out.
One of these chairs.
Come boo with us, bro.
Shut up.
Yeah, you won second place.
Yo, people said you can drink, dude.
That guy can't drink.
Oh, Shane, you put on a clinic.
That guy's dead.
Right.
He's not alive.
He's barely alive.
We're alive.
Yeah, I'm barely alive.
We're alive. Big Cat, you're alive. You're very alive. We're alive. We're alive.
Big Cat, you're alive. You're very alive.
No, I peed my pants.
I don't know.
I straight up pissed myself. Will's not alive.
Yes.
There's piss all over my crotch. I peed
my pants.
Big Cat, you were the defending champ.
How do you feel about having sass this time around? I, listen. Big Cat, you were the defending champ. How do you feel about having sass this time around?
I, listen.
Big Cat, how many beers do I drink?
Seven.
I had eight beers.
Eight beers.
Seven.
I had 12.
No, no, no.
I had eight.
I had eight.
Oh, shit.
Yes.
I had eight beers.
I finished my 12th while you were in the bathroom.
How many did you have?
Fucking two?
Maybe.
I finished my 12th while you were in the bathroom.
No, Roan's a bitch.
That's fine, dude.
That's fine, but I got the belt, dude.
That's fine.
I got the belt.
I swear to God, Roan did not go hard as fuck.
Roan went as hard as fuck.
Roan didn't go hard.
I've never seen Roan drunk once in my fucking life.
I'm telling you, Mike, wait for a second. I'm taking your mic away for a second.
Let's go.
I'm taking it away for a second.
You're right, Sass.
He never gets drunk.
Roan's a bitch.
He never gets drunk.
I'm taking it away for a second.
You're a pussy.
You're good.
I'm taking it away for a second.
You're not touching my microphone.
Take it.
Insane, Sass.
He never gets drunk again.
I peed myself for this.
For real, the best thing in the world is
watching Will Compton
talk like an actual
roided out 90's
wrestler. He's like,
you think it's funny?
Cut the Will.
Cut the Will.
Cut the Will.
TJ, show it again.
Again.
Show it one time
Show it one time
One time
The camera wasn't on it before
The camera wasn't on it before
Atta boy
Atta boy
Now KB go
KB show it
KB
KB let's go
KB
Oh hell no
Oh man
That's a fuck up
That's sexy ass body
Zoom in on my belly button
Look how deep Look at how deep that thing is.
That's a fucking.
You wouldn't eat it.
Wait, wait, wait.
Will, the only thing I can say, Will.
Will, get your weight up, not your head up, bro.
That's all I got to say.
Why are you being a nasty little.
Get your weight up, not your head up.
Don't listen to him.
You're not being a nasty little pussy.
You are being a nasty little pussy.
We're not even.
Dude, lying.
Hey, stop.
I agree with him because I'm for the boys.
Fuck you.
You're not talking to the mic.
Talk to the mic.
Get him a nap.
Talk to the mic.
Fuck you.
You're not even going to have at least 10 more beers.
I can't believe you're being a little...
A lot of you guys are being cunts.
Don't listen to him.
Wrestle KB again, Will.
Will, wrestle KB again.
He beat us by 30 seconds.
A lot of you guys are being c seconds. You guys are being cocky.
Oh, you want a fist fight?
Yeah!
Let's go!
I would.
NFL linebacker, you want a fist fight?
I knew you were going to be a
fucking pussy.
I'm completely unbiased.
The only way to settle this is a fist fight.
No, fuck that.
Oh, it's a wrestle.
Wait, KB, wrestle Will now, please.
That's the least y'all could do.
The only way to settle this is just fist fight.
Oh, I hate this, like, fake sense of respect that you guys have.
Just fight.
They do respect each other, though.
No, they don't.
They're friends, KB.
Hey, KB.
They respect third-string quarterbacks.
KB.
Kutztown.
KB.
Shane, I'm not...
You're breaking my heart, dude.
KB.
You're my GOAT.
I know you have...
You're supposed to be funny, KB,
and you're just being a...
Oh, no.
KB.
You know why you're breaking my heart?
I don't want you guys to...
Why?
I don't know.
Why?
Are you guys going to... Why is he breaking your heart, Shane? Why is KB breaking my heart? I don't want you guys to. Why?
Why is he breaking your heart, Shane?
Why is KB breaking my heart?
Don't go breaking my heart. I don't want to do it.
It would be mad funny if you guys fought.
I wouldn't even if I tried.
All right, get the karaoke on.
Shut the fuck up, bitch.
Yo.
Yo.
Shut the fuck up.
You have something to say now, too?
Sass, I think you're an incredible comedian
You're neck and chain
I'm neck and chain
It's hard not to neck and chain
You're so neckable
Tell him why
Why are you successful?
All I'm going to say is I accomplished my only goal
Of not talking too much
Yo you didn't say a word
I drank 12 beers.
How many did you end up drinking?
15?
I did not.
37.
You're lying.
You were awesome, Shane.
You're lying.
You're my bull.
We're done.
Sass, I drank 12.
I said it.
Sass, come on.
I love you.
I love you, baby.
Don't tell me.
Come at him.
I had nothing to say to Shane.
It's too hard to defeat him. Yo, if you say one word to me, I'll gut you. Come at him. I have nothing to say to Shane. It's too hard to defeat him.
Yo, if you say one word to me, I'll gut you.
I'm not going to say anything.
That ain't gutting me.
Come at him.
Real.
This guy can talk shit.
Yo, SG.
Whoa, you guys are still drinking.
Yo, SG, I'm not going to.
Is anybody trying to fight?
You'll never do stand-up.
Are you guys still drinking?
No, I'm not.
I'm not coming at you.
Is anybody trying to fight?
Hey, fight.
Let's fight, Che.
Oh, hold on.
Who wants to fight me? Time out. Why was the board just changed? He'll never do stand- fight. Let's fight, Che. Oh, hold on. Who wants to fight me?
Time out.
Why was the board just changed?
He'll never do Santa.
He'll never do it.
You guys are just changing the board?
I stopped drinking.
They're still drinking.
We got 24.
No, no.
They beat us by 30 times.
We got time on our hands.
Who stopped drinking?
Who's got to play Twister and who's got to assemble?
What happened?
That's ridiculous.
Who's trying to fucking fight?
I want to see you in some pants.
I call bullshit.
I call bullshit on TJ and Chase.
I'll put you in a rear naked choke.
Will, I want to see you in some bra and panties, dude.
I want to see you in some underpants.
Dude, whoever's listening to just the audio version of this,
like on their commute to work.
Can I say something about that?
No, no, no.
Don't say it.
Wait, wait, wait.
Yeah, let's see that.
Hang.
Nice.
Let me see that.
Can you swing a knee brace?
Are you just swinging a knee brace?
Yeah, it's not bad.
I wish I was an athlete.
Can I say something real quick about what Nick just said?
Shut up.
Shut up.
Everyone shut up.
You know.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Shut up.
Shut up. Mike. No one tells me to shut up. Shut up. Everyone shut up. You know. Hold on. Shut up. Shut up.
Mike.
Shut up.
Let me say something real quick.
You guys know how many people listen.
On what?
On game day.
Hold on.
Shut up.
Shut up.
I'm not talking to a mic.
Shut up.
Will, we don't need the fucking wallow speech.
Yeah.
I say something real quick. Bro. You wear knee braces. Bro, you ought't need the fucking wallows speech right now. Can I say something real quick?
Bro.
You want a knee brace?
Bro, you ought to just be putting shit out there.
I want to drop a fat.
Hold on.
Hold on.
You want a knee brace this whole time?
This is an attention.
You're not getting back in the league, dog.
This dude is a legitimate millionaire and bought a fake NWO shirt.
You're an old ass man, dude.
You're with us now.
Yeah.
Welcome.
One of us.
One of us.
One of us.
One of us.
One of us.
With his balls out.
Like a fucking wrestler.
Yo, Will, you got a tiny ass cock.
Yes! Like a fucking wrestler. Yo, Will, you got a tiny ass cock. Yes.
You got a small cock.
You got a small cock.
It's the Adderall.
It's the Adderall.
More, more.
It's tiny.
They dab up for the Adderall.
It's the Adderall that's making our cocks tiny.
You're going to let that boy say you have a tiny cock?
No, you can't.
You can't.
You have a tiny cock.
You don't.
You got that.
It looks fine.
It looks fine.
It's not that one-inch pinch.
No, no, no.
It's not that one-inch pinch.
You're the worst podcast ever.
Will showed me his cock before this.
It was humongous.
How are people going to watch this?
I don't know.
Will.
What I was going to say.
Tyler, you got. Shut up. What are you going to say? Shut up.
What are you going to say?
Big Cat, let Big Cat talk.
You got the fucking.
Shut up for a second.
You got the Tootsie Roll.
I got the Charleston Chew in your bitch.
She want this.
She got the sweet tooth, baby.
Shut up, Seth.
No, no, no.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
I'm fired up now.
Big Cat, say what you're going to say.
I was gay. I was gay. Give him the't. I'm fired up now. No, Big Cat, say what you're going to say. That was gay.
That was gay.
Give him the clip.
Will Compton is good.
He's the clip of all the leads.
Wait, Big Cat, what were you going to say?
Sass, one sec.
What were you going to say?
What were you going to say?
Oh, yeah, hey, everybody.
It's the Yak with Big Cat.
Let me get another brew.
Can we get another brew?
As your teammate, your cock looks pretty big.
It looks fine.
No, no, no.
You're both.
It looks like a good dick.
I can't even imagine.
His ass is insane.
I brought a fucking hammer.
It's a saw.
Oh, shut up, shut up. No, I can't do that. Don't tell him that. It's fire hammer It's a saw Oh shut up No I can't do that
It's fire
It's a good feeling
I can't imagine
What the fuck are you doing
I would love to
Why are you standing in front of us
With no pants on
Everyone really shut up now
Oh oh oh, oh.
Will, Will, Will, sit down.
Pizza. Pizza.
Pizza. Pizza.
Fluffing his dick while he's in here.
Delivery guy's here.
Oh, God, this is the worst thing ever.
Delivery guy's here.
Yeah, go pee.
What do you mean, can you pee?
Will, we can see your entire dick and it's tiny.
Yeah.
No, he fluffed.
You have a tiny penis.
He does, he does.
Big Cat, you want the delivery guy?
Yes, yes, bring him in.
Get the delivery guy.
It's the first time you're on Star Wars, dude.
He's got the smallest penis.
Hey, hey, bring him in here.
Bring him in here.
I'm going to say this right now. It's here. I'm going to say this right now.
It's regular.
I'm going to say this right now.
No wonder Tom Brady didn't send you his new fucking underwear.
He left?
He left?
You did a great job.
I'll worry about it.
All right, all right, all right.
Everybody quiet down while this delivery guy comes.
Everyone shut the fuck up.
Oh, yeah, this is about to rock.
All right, I got you.
What's your name, bro?
Wait, say it in the mic.
Say it in the mic.
Say it in the mic. Microphone. Give him the mic. What's your name bro Wait say it in the mic Say it in the mic Give him the mic
What's his name
Tell Owen to give him the mic
What's your name
Will
Sit down
We got an extra hundred for you bro
What's your name
My name is Kalser
Carlos
Wait Kauser. Carlos?
Kauser.
Oh, wait.
Thank you.
Yes.
Kauser?
It's like Chaucer, but with a K.
Kauser. Like a call center with a K.
Bro, I was about to say the same thing.
Can you spell it real quick?
I'm very confused.
A-A-W-S-U-R.
B-C.
Give me.
Let me.
Another hundred.
Another hundred for the boy.
Will.
Hey, guys. Another hundred, Kauser. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. A hundred. Another 100 for the boy. Will. Hey, guys.
Another 100, Carl, sir.
100.
Shut your small dick up.
Let me ask you another question, Carl, sir.
Let's give Will Compton the fuck.
Oh, shut up.
Shut up.
Wait, wait, no.
This is going to rock.
Everyone shut up.
Real quick, Will Compton.
Shut up, sass.
Shut the fuck up, sass.
Will has a tiny penis.
It's not.
I tested Mike.
Minuscule.
It's not at all, dude.
I think it hurts.
Do you realize you're a perpetrator right now with the Nike and Adidas?
Give him another $100.
Give him another $100.
Sorry, I didn't understand.
Yep.
Another $100.
You're wearing Nike and Adidas.
That's a perpetrator move.
But I'm going to give you another $100. Nike $100. That's fair. What you got right now? Get here and take another $100. You're wearing Nike and Adidas. That's a perpetrator move. But I'm going to give you another $100.
Nike $100.
That's fair.
What you got right now?
Get here and take another $100.
Take another $100.
No, no.
Don't worry about it.
You deserve it.
You've been working your ass off, haven't you?
How much you got?
Sorry?
You've been working.
Yeah.
How much money have you got a lot of money from this?
Kyle, sir, here's another $200.
$200 more. $200 more.
$200 more.
How much you got right now?
Hurry up.
This guy's black.
How much you got?
How much you got?
$600.
He had five fucking light beers, dude.
$600?
That's $600?
Oh, Big Cat.
I fucking love you, bro.
Hey, Big Cat, take it easy, man.
I love you.
Big Cat had four beers.
Thank you, brother.
Do you want more money? No, it's too much. Should I give him money He had four beers. Shane, do you want more money?
No, it's too much.
Should I give him money?
I'll say it.
I fucking love you.
Shane, yeah.
Wait, wait, wait.
Shane's special.
Shane, come on.
Shane, you went fucking viral on YouTube.
Come on, bro.
How many views is your special at?
Oh, yeah.
True, true, true.
That's where money comes from.
Oh, there we go.
Another hundred.
Another hundred. Oh, my God. Another hundred. I made 200. 200. Get it, get it true, true. That's where money comes from. Oh, there we go. Another 100. Another 100.
Oh, my God.
Another 100.
I made 200.
200.
Get it, get it, get it.
It's 800.
I promise you.
800 for you.
We love you.
Oh, sir.
Thank you, bro.
Honestly, whoever delivered the pizza tonight was getting this.
Let's get him another 200.
We love you.
Let's get him another 200.
Thank you, brother.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
Good luck.
You're the man. Thank you. Well, sir, I fucking love you. Thank's get him another 200. Thank you, brother. Thank you, sir. Good luck.
Thank you.
I fucking love you. Thank you for everybody.
I love you, sir. I like that salute.
I like that salute.
No, sir.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Let's get his opinion on Roe v. Wade.
Alright, hold on. And if he's wrong,
we confiscate it.
We'll take that. Let's get him here. And if he's wrong, we confiscate it. We take it back. We'll take back all of it.
I like that idea.
I like that idea.
Brandon, Brandon, bring him back in.
Bring him back in.
No, no, no, no, no.
Sass.
Sass.
Sass.
Sass.
No, no, no, no, no.
Sass.
Stop.
Sass.
You're good.
You're good.
You're good.
All right.
Take a break.
No, this is bad, dude.
Only some of us can commit to the bill.
$800 is nice.
Why don't you take a break?
Take a break.
Shane, you have a drink.
No, no, no.
Take a break. Take a break. What'd you have a drink. No, no, take a break.
Take a break.
I've never seen someone as drunk as Will Compton.
What'd you say?
You heard me.
What did you say?
Like, of the whole last case race, Will Compton got the drunkest of everybody.
Come on, this case race might be the best.
I'll say it right now.
All right.
Cow, sir.
I want to get it out there.
I love my voice.
Yeah, you can take a video Yes take a video
Cowsir
Will hold on
Cowsir's motherfucking
Let's take a video
Rudy stop taking promos from
Will
Will is on
Will's on full
Tell him to subscribe
Subscribe to the YouTube
Subscribe
Cowsir let me subscribe on your phone
Subscribe for him Subscribe for him How much Subscribe to the YouTube. Subscribe. Officer, let me subscribe on your phone.
Subscribe for him.
Subscribe for him.
How much?
I got to get some on my chest.
Is that how you spell it?
Look, I'm going to be blue.
I'm about to confess.
He and my dogs. Where's your YouTube?
Oh, I have to go to YouTube.
He and my dogs, we hate Shane.
Shane, why are you doing this?
The case race is over, brother.
Because he's forging you by fire.
I'm going to beat every single one of us on here.
We're all unique personalities, but guess what?
Will?
Come on, little horse.
Us suck, huh?
Say that again.
Everyone shut up.
Cow Sir is about to subscribe.
Shut up, Sass!
Shut the fuck up, Sass!
Yes, yes.
Too much money.
Too much money.
I don't even know what to do with it.
God damn it, Sass.
Shut up.
I am aggressively murdering myself.
No, no, he's got it.
He's got it.
He's got it. He's got it.
No, that's mine.
Put your fucking pants over that tiny ass dick, Will.
I just subscribed Couser on YouTube.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I got too many people coming after me right now, man.
We've hit 24.
Yeah, we did.
Congratulations to you.
You rode fucking Shane's dick.
I don't know how to.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It him get his little losing ass Adderall thoughts off his chest.
My boy got Adderall in his body one time.
Oh, my God.
You know all about that.
You know all about that.
Yo, I got Will addicted to Adderall.
Yo, people are going to hate this. They're kind of low-key.
It's 8 o'clock.
Not you.
Will, Will, I need you to put that monster cock away. You're right.
You're right. Yo, Will, tuck
that micro penis out of you.
I'm on your side. I'm on your side.
Can somebody update
us to 24? They beat us by 10
fucking seconds. I also don't
like that TJ and Shay just added
a fucking beer after that.
We won. We were in third.
I didn't know you were going to be nasty at the end.
That made me sad, dude.
Tommy, come in, Tommy.
Hold on, hold on.
This is important.
This is important.
Will, I fucking love you, dude.
I respect you.
Yes.
The way you acted
like a little girl here
towards the end
made me sick.
That was bitch shit, dude.
It was eye-opening.
That was bitch shit.
It was eye-opening.
Oh, you fucking yelled it.
Rone tried his hardest, dude.
I tried my hardest, dude.
So tell me, what did Roan do?
Why don't you step back, dude?
I know you're fucking cut my head off.
You psycho.
I will jump at you, dude.
I know you'll kill me, dude.
You'll end my life.
What did Roan do for you?
Roan had six beers.
I'm with you. Roan had six beers. I'm with you.
I'm with you, Will.
I'm with you.
I'm on your side.
He did nothing.
Nothing.
All you did was look at Roan and go, hey.
Okay, what are we doing?
Agreed.
I'm going to house these motherfuckers.
Are we keeping going?
I will house these motherfuckers.
No, we stopped.
It's over.
It's over once Shane and Roan won.
Yeah, we were at 19.
You guys were 18.
I corrected. Oh, that's your dog. Yeah, we were 19. You guys were 18. I corrected.
Oh, that's your dog.
Yeah, I know.
So you would fuck with Roan over any duo out there?
Yeah.
Yo, for real?
You're taking you and Roan?
It's weird.
It's weird.
I mean, I'll drink to, I'll die.
Oh, die?
Yeah.
You sound just like Notre Dame, dude.
You get right to the playoffs and you're that fucking Roan.
Yeah, yeah.
He beats you. He does. Yo, I'm hitting Roan. He playoffs and you're that fucking... He beats you.
He'd be like, yo, I'm hitting Rome.
He's like a Shippensburg first ringer.
Dude.
He's like a Shippensburg first ringer.
I can't believe this is how this ends.
This is amazing.
He looks like a NWO wrestler.
He has underwear on and a
fucking knee brace on that was
cut out by his hands.
His little dick is fucking shrinking in front of the camera.
I have a question.
He couldn't be drunker because it's the first time he tried Adderall on his leg.
Yo, let's go, bro.
Let's go.
Let's go, bro.
He doesn't know where he's at.
I have a question.
Oh, my God.
Do we still need to call timeout or can I just go piss?
You go piss.
He's shaving you like shawarma.
Will, go pee.
Fuck with this.
Will, go pee before you say something you regret.
Go to bed, man.
I'm on your side.
Shane, why are you going at him when you have a teenager you can make fun of?
Gas and frass?
Who's to say?
I went too hard on sass.
I feel bad about sass.
Will got drunker than anyone has on the case races.
Bill Compton is the best dude in the world.
He actually might be.
Brandon, wait.
Can we hear from Brandon?
Yeah.
Brandon is sober.
Brandon.
And Owen.
Owen, too.
Talk into the mic.
Owen and Brandon.
Let Owen and Brandon talk for two minutes.
No one else talk.
Sass.
Sass, do not talk.
All right.
What do you want us to talk about?
Just talk about what you've seen.
It's been a lot.
I've seen more of Will Compton's penis than I expected to.
I am.
Will Compton went from buzzing to very drunk in seconds.
Stephen Che is the drunkest person here, though.
No way.
Facts.
I didn't know that.
He can't even function back there. He can't even speak.
Facts. And Sass?
Alright, man.
Can we...
Here's the other thing I
want to discuss.
Stephen Shea,
you wanted to say
something when
Shane was in the
bathroom. Yes.
Put your headphones on, Shane.
Shane, put your headphones on.
You didn't want to hear that.
Don't talk.
Big Cat, can you give him some
contact?
All right, I'll say it.
So, Shane,
when you were in the bathroom,
Stephen said to us,
so he didn't know the SNL story,
and he said, wait, did he make an Asian joke?
I was told he made an Asian joke during the taping.
Say again, or just one more time?
I was told during the taping
That he made an Asian joke
I'm not aware of Shane Gil
I'll be honest I respect him
I was goofing around
He was goofing with the boy
That's a fair excuse
Shane all you have to say
You have the upper hand here
Shane all you have to say is you were given some guff
You were just given guff. Yes.
You were just given guff.
You were given guff.
You're either given guff or you're in a wrestle right now.
Oh, fuck.
You have two choices.
You have two choices.
Given guff or wrestle.
I have to defend, like, several billion people.
So you're either given guff or you are in wrestle.
And I will accept either.
Before you answer, you will win.
I don't know about that.
But decide it.
But decide it right now.
Were you giving guff or were you making fun of Asius?
Wait, wait, wait.
Before he answers.
Before he answers.
Look at Shay in the face.
You have two choices.
You have two choices.
Before Shay answers. Wait, wait, wait. and look at Shea in the face. You have two choices. You have two choices. Before Shea answers...
Wait, wait, wait.
Before Shea...
Before Shea answers...
I'm sorry.
Before Shea answers,
he should know that
I watched WWE and WCW
and I watched Thunder,
Nitro, Raw, and SmackDown, so...
Whatever he accepts, I will abide by.
You watched the Thunder?
Oh, shit.
Jeff D. Lowe's here.
Shut up.
So, Shane, answer the question.
When you made Asian jokes, were you giving guff or were you making fun of Asians?
I think he was taking guff.
I'll be honest, dude.
It's simple. You have two options. He was taking golf. I'll be honest, dude. This shit. It's simple.
You have two options.
You have two options.
All right.
For real, though, when it comes to goofing around about Asians, when I got fired from Saturday Night Live.
Were you giving golf?
I, for real, was just joshing, dude.
You were just giving golf.
You were giving golf.
I was just giving golf.
That's fair.
You were just giving golf. That's fair guff. I was giving guff. That's fair. You were just giving guff.
That's fair.
I think you guys were pretty chill.
Steven, he was joshing.
I'll be honest, dude.
You guys have been getting knocked out a lot lately.
He was giving guff.
But if you will, you guys have been getting knocked out a little bit lately.
Knocked out a little bit lately.
Tiebreaker.
Tiebreaker.
See if he's telling the truth.
Toss Will Compton.
Shane, to see if you're telling the truth, what's your order of Chinese food?
Oh, oh, oh.
Everyone shut up.
Everyone shut up.
Everyone shut up.
And hold on.
Before you answer, this is either going to result in a fight between you and I, a wrestling
match, or you're cool.
Okay.
Well, I knew I would.
Think about it. Think about it. Yeah, think about it. I'm going to take my glasses off to wrestle you. Oh, you're cool okay well i knew i love that think about it think about it yeah
i'm gonna take my glasses off to wrestle you oh you're okay will you i'll be in there in five
seconds you will you fucking absolute nobody you think i know who you are i don't
hey come in i love all of. Never heard of you either.
Hey, come in.
Good.
Good.
Let him give his orders.
Now it has to happen.
Hold on.
Shut up.
Shane, give his order.
Amazing.
I'm giving you this choice.
Give your order.
You're going to make.
You're going to make.
Give your order.
I have a direct.
We're fighting in line right now.
And if you say it, I'm coming in there in three seconds and we're wrestling.
I don't care if you stand up or not.
I'm taking you out. I'm tipping your chair over. I don't care if you stand up or not.
I'm tipping your chair over.
You're going to be in that revitalized thing.
What a bummer. Yes.
Maybe.
I know you're a guy who's an extra
here at the office
and you're trying your best to be a main character.
Serious.
He's coming at your neck because you won.
Seriously.
He's king of the interview because you won. Honestly, he's trying to
king it in on you.
January 26, 2003, we shut
down the vet. I know.
Shut down the vet, bro. I don't want to hear about
the vet. You'll wrestle two people
if you keep on talking about the vet.
You guys brought me in here.
I drank all the beers. I did what I had
to do. Not Shay.
Just say that you ordered General Tso's chicken and you'll be good.
Say your order.
Say your order.
Say you like Rangoon and you'll be good.
You can't just say that.
What a bummer, dude.
Shay, you have to come.
Ronan's right.
Say your order.
Say you like General Tso's chicken.
You know what I like?
Say your order.
You know what I like a lot?
I like careful.
Shay, I love you, but you crossed the line verbally.
You have to come in here. No, no, no. No, no, no. Just say your order. Shay and 100% gets a but you crossed the line verbally. You have to come in here.
No, no, no.
Shane 100% gets a fair shake.
I like Shane.
I saw him when he came in.
Say your order, Shane.
It was a late roll over.
Everyone shut up.
Say your order.
I mean, I'm ready to go.
You're ready to go.
Say your order.
You don't have to take that seriously.
You can say almost anything and it's going to play.
Here comes the Joker. Say your order. He's not have to take that seriously. You can say almost anything and it's going to play. Here comes the Joker.
Say your order.
You, Joker.
He's not going to put you on trial.
I'll forgive you.
He's not putting you on trial, dude, as soon as you won the fucking case race, dude.
On behalf of over a billion people.
Not the dude who came in fourth place on the case race trying to put you on trial.
That was hurtful, man.
This will exonerate you from everything you want.
You don't have to answer anything.
Nobody's trying to put shit on trial.
People are putting you on fucking will.
I'm putting shit on trial.
You want to put me on trial, dude.
We should have a head-to-head case race then.
Without Adderall.
You didn't have Adderall.
All you got to do is watch the tape.
Being against you, dude, without your PEDs, dude.
I offered him Adderall. I took his, look. I offered him Adderall.
I took his ass.
Bullshit, dude.
Bullshit.
You probably don't.
Rone is sober.
Bullshit.
Rone's sober right now.
Man, I'm going on year 10, big dog.
Year 10, bro.
Say your order.
That's how you laugh at that.
Say your order.
Say it.
Say your order.
Here's my order.
Yo, get fired.
Get fired.
Yo, I will make sure you don't work here anymore.
Say your order.
For real.
Che.
What a stupid.
Oh, Che's coming.
Oh, say your order.
Yeah, for real.
Fair, fair, fair.
Why are we doing this?
Fair.
He's an idiot.
Just say your order.
Che wants to wrestle.
He wants to wrestle now.
He wants to wrestle now. He wants to wrestle now.
Oh, no.
You're reading a girl.
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
He's our guest.
He's our best man on our show.
I don't mind it.
Referee, referee, referee.
Shane, just say your order.
Say your real order.
I like it.
Hold on.
Say your real order.
Say your real order.
Yeah, I like it. Shane, say your real order. I like it. Hold on. Say your real order. Say your real order. Yeah, I like it.
Shane, say your real order.
Say your real order.
Why the fuck is this dude in here trying to fight me?
Say your real order.
Say your real order.
Hold on.
Yo, real.
Yo, is this your office?
No, just say your order.
Hold on.
Are these your office workers?
Yes, say your order.
Make sure this office worker isn't trying to fight me right now. Say your order. Just say your order. Hold on. Are these your office workers? Say your order. Make sure this office worker isn't trying to fight me right now.
Say your order.
Just say your order.
You can't try to fight him.
Say your order.
As a guest.
Say your order.
No, no, no.
Just say your real order.
As a guest.
Come on.
Bros, why would I come down here?
As a guest.
As a guest.
You can't try to fight him.
No, no, no.
He's going to say his real order.
He's going to say his real order.
As a guest.
As a guest.
You can't try to fight a guest
Jay fall back
Jay fall all the way back brother
Why are you trying to fight me you dumbass
Jay you can't be fighting
Love this
Love this
Love this
Why did he out of nowhere
Try to fight me
You can't try and fight the guest, dude.
You just can't do it.
As someone we're trying to get in here
to make this case race better, you can't
try to fight the guest.
Even as a beauty of the case race.
Even as a goof.
What happened?
Nothing happened.
He over-goofed.
He just kept on goofing.
No one over goofed.
That's just part of the case, right?
People talk shit.
I was in the bathroom.
What happened?
Man, I was afraid you guys couldn't handle your light beers.
Why did that happen?
It didn't actually happen.
What you don't realize is that didn't even happen.
That didn't happen.
That's not real.
Man, what a bummer, man.
No, don't let it be a bummer.
It didn't happen. What a bummer, boys. No, don't let it be a bummer. It didn't happen.
What a bummer, boys.
Are we going to go out to a bar after this?
I'm not going to tell Che to back off.
Fucking no chance.
Che is, I will never tell him to fall back.
I'm going to go out to a bar by myself.
I don't really give a fuck if you guys come.
I'm going to go to a kettle of fish if you guys want to meet me there.
We're not live.
We're good.
We're good.
We just got a thumbs up.
He doesn't give a fuck anymore.
Nor should we give a fuck.
Every time the camera turns to you, it looks like you have a fucking G-strap on.
G-strap on.
G-strap.
Willie, how are you feeling?
I'm not the most hype about the way I look.
You look good.
So here's an idea.
Put your fucking pants back on. Everybody is like, oh, Will.
Oh, he's this Oh he's a He's a
He's this he's that
Like boys
At the end of the day
I'm a shore not a grower
And
And that's tough
You're good
You're good
I swear to God
I've been there
Yeah you're good
Yo I'm here for the vibes
I'm here for the good times
Who's talking shit
And Steven kind of
Fucked up the vibes there
A little bit
Okay
I guess I don't
Maybe not kind of Fuck up the vibes A little bit I guess I. He kind of fucked up the vibes a little bit. He did not kind of fuck up the vibes a little bit.
I guess I'm not here.
I guess I'm not here to fuck up the vibes.
I loved every second of it.
He fucked up the vibes, though.
I guess I'm not here to set the vibes.
You are here to set the vibes.
You set the vibes.
I'm a little confused.
It's interesting as the winner that you are the guy who's setting the vibes, Roan.
It's going to hurt him.
He won't find out that I drank more beers than Roan.
I feel like I'm the Will Compton of the race.
Give me the bucket hat.
Your little bucket hat with your fucking bangs?
You did a great job.
It was cute as hell.
It was cute.
I want to let people know
Will Compton is the worst follow on Twitter.
And also, I'm looking at his penis
right now as we speak.
It's tiny.
You got a tiny ass dick.
Shut the fuck up.
I'm going to do the ad, and then we're going to reset.
Let's reset.
Let's reset.
Shut up.
Shut the fuck up.
One thing.
How did everyone's mic besides mine?
Shut up.
Can we bring us all together?
Shut up, sass.
Some karaoke.
Shut the fuck up, sass.
You don't think it's some karaoke to bring us together?
Revitalite.
Revitalite is an advanced rehydration solution designed to replenish vital fluids and minerals.
Hand it over.
Shut the fuck up, sass!
Hand it over.
Damn it, you're fucking killing me, bro.
Yes, sir!
Cut sass like, please. Yep, scholarship. Give fucking killing me, bro. Yes, sir. Cut Sasson's mic, please.
Yep.
Scholarship.
Give it to Will Compton.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
It's powered by the same electrolyte formula found in baby aisles, but with an improved
hang-ups.
Hold on.
Revitalite.
Revitalite.
Taste and texture more appealing to adults.
I know my dogs got me.
Revitalite. I have the hang-ups. All right, look. Revitalite is cleanly sold appealing to adults. I know my dog's got me. Revitalite. My dog's got me.
Revitalite is cleanly sold next to beer.
Where am I holding my dog?
Will, I'll die for you, dog.
Turn my mic on now.
Liquor.
Yep.
So you can shop like an adult and hydrate responsibly.
Thank you to a Revitalite Berry Frost flavor.
Drink half at night and another half in the morning for optimal results.
Pick up your Revitalite Black Label today in store or online at the Barstool store. Drink half at night And half in the morning For optimal results
Pick up your Revitalite
Black label today
In store or online
At the Barstool store
Tweet us or tag
Read that big cat
At drink Revitalite
Get it get it
In your morning
After stories
I'm hiccuping the whole time
You got it
That was a good ass read
Good ass read
Hey
Good answer
Good answer
Can we play the clip
Can we play the big catch clip?
Are my arms?
Fuck you.
Let's play family feud.
Let's play family feud.
Family feud.
I want to say one more thing.
Big cat.
Shut up.
Big cat.
Chug one, dog.
Can I say one thing?
Permission to say one thing?
Permission to say one thing? Permission to say one thing? Permission to say one thing, Shane.
It's a madhouse.
Okay.
You know what?
Let's go.
TJ, let's go slap wheel.
Slap wheel.
Slap wheel.
Really?
Yes.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Yes.
Yes.
I don't know if that's a good idea.
Yes.
No.
I want to say one thing.
Bring it.
Cool if I say one thing?
Cool if I say one thing?
Yes.
Owen.
Owen is my roommate.
I love him.
He is the best producer in the world.
KB, funniest person at Barstool.
Shane, funniest...
I'm not going to slap you.
Shane, funniest stand-up comedian alive.
Big Cat, you are the richest person I know.
Also one of the funniest people I've ever
met in my entire life. Amazing
host. Grindr than everyone
I know. Myself, best stand-up
comedian alive.
Nick Coletti, your vines killed.
Your opinions suck.
Nick Coletti, dude, The sawdust shit.
Your opinions will suck.
Tell them to subscribe again, Vic.
Subscribe to Wobby.
Dude, Nick Coletti, I liked your deep cuts.
Like, even some of your tweets.
Like, not just the Vines.
I think we're rolling over how small Will Compton's penis is, too.
I know.
I'm trying not to look at it, but it's so.
You have a micro penis.
It's insane.
I don't know if it's only set against his thighs, but it looks tiny.
You have a micro cum.
It's a mosaic.
Hold on.
You don't care about the university's money.
This is a disaster.
You care about the university's money?
Will's fucking chirping me out.
I can't hear a single thing he's saying.
This is the worst.
All right, let's do slap wheel.
This is the worst episode of the Yak of all time.
Wake me up.
Wake me up inside.
Wake me up.
Disaster.
Let's do a slap wheel.
All right, all right, all right.
TJ, put everyone's name on the wheel.
First person who goes slaps first.
Second person who goes slaps second.
That's what we have to do.
Thompson, I fucking love you, dude.
I genuinely think you are the funniest person on Twitter.
Meanwhile, me personally...
I genuinely do.
I'm not even joking.
I'm not even joking.
What?
I think...
All right.
Chase is a good guy.
All right.
I forgot who you were.
He doesn't care.
He doesn't care.
He doesn't care.
Boys, this is out of hand.
We're going to reset the slap.
Who the fuck... What the fuck is this? Yo, We're going to reset the slap. Who the fuck?
What the fuck is this?
Yo, what are you doing?
All right.
We're resetting at the slap wheel.
What the fuck?
Steve, why'd you come out here all aggro on me, bro?
I was just chilling.
Why would you want him to win?
I was just having a fun time.
He was having a fun time.
I know. I was sad, dude. I was the one defending you. He's defending you. fun time. I know. I was sad, dude.
I was the one defending you.
For real.
Steve, I was defending you this whole time.
Stop looking at his face.
Look at his shit.
Don't try to win.
Off the love, dude.
Put the Rondé Barber shit aside.
Put the Rondé Barber shit aside.
You get the fuck out of here. What are you going to do?
There's always cameras.
For real.
I was the one.
I was the one that was like, why does everybody hate this guy?
I was just talking to him.
Steve.
Yes.
Stop sucking dick.
I was trying to say.
Back up.
For real.
Shane, we don't actually hate Steve.
We love him.
Yes or no?
Are you going to send me that highlight of the one tackle you had this year?
All I'm going to do is do whatever possible.
But stop fucking talking to him just because he's got a little special on you.
I got one, too.
It sounds like you're saying the opposite.
No, you don't.
He should.
No, you don't.
He should.
If I have one, I'm fucking.
What are you wearing, Will?
What are these underwears?
Hey.
Hey.
Will, we all can see your penis.
It's so small.
All right, it's good.
It's good.
Can we reset?
Steven just wanted to wrestle.
Boys, boys, boys.
All right, clear it out.
Clear it out.
Boys, am I wrong?
Guys, am I wrong or would a little piano man reset us?
Hey, Will.
Am I wrong?
Will.
No?
Piano man would reset us. Am I wrong? No. Piano man would reset us.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Get the fuck out of here.
I don't like last night right now.
We lost control of the show.
We lost control.
They're going to wrestle. Y'all are going to wrestle.
We lost control of the show.
Wait, wait, wait.
What are you doing, Colin?
Everyone wants to fight each other.
I'll settle you.
Everyone sit down.
Everyone sit down.
It's not going to happen.
I know.
It's not going to happen.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Go to your spot.
Sit down, Will.
Steven, you and Che wrestle.
Sit down.
Sit down. Sit down.
Piano man's playing.
Yes.
You need to be told.
Put on your headphones.
Put on your headphones.
Nine o'clock on a Saturday.
Trying to help you.
The crowd's jumping.
Hey, Roan.
I hope you enjoyed Boydags.
Come on.
Making love.
Play the real Boydags song.
Jesus Christ.
How about the airs Christ. All I wanted was to say, Will would not hesitate.
Will's an actual...
He says, son, can you play me a memory?
I'm not really sure how it goes.
It's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete when I wore a younger man's clothes.
Oh, Nixon.
Oh, easy money.
I'll be in a fucking kiss ass and sing the song.
With my team, why not?
Jane, sing the fucking song.
Hold up, hold up.
Yo, never talk to Ron that way.
Never talk to Ron that way.
Never talk to Ron that way.
You are a
you are fucking
fortunate to be
around the
Ronski.
So you know.
Oh you got a
couple good
tweets.
This motherfucker
is freestyle in
front of black
dudes in
Philadelphia.
Tell yourself.
That's real.
I'm just asking
you boys to sing
the song. I boys to sing the song
I want to bring the vibe
The big dog
I respect Ro more than anyone in the world
Silence yourself dude
That's teammates looking out for you
That's the way I was looking out for him
Oh tweets must have been nice
Try being a fucking
Honky
White man can't jump a song I mean this is crazy Oh, tweets must have been nice. Try being a fucking honky.
All right, white man can't jump the song.
I mean, this is crazy.
All right, here we go.
Slap the song.
Slap.
And the microphone smells like a beer.
In here, in here.
All right, here we go.
Shane, I'm disappointed because I was trying to just bring the vibes up, man.
I wasn't trying to disrespect anybody.
All right, Will is the first in the slap wheel. Will is my best friend.
Will is the first in the slap wheel.
Will slaps me.
He's going to try and kill me.
Will is the first in the slap wheel.
Will couldn't be more pissed that I won being on Shane's team.
Will is the first in the slap wheel.
Who is Will slapping?
People are slapping.
Hasta luego.
Sass.
Sass and Will.
I bet you don't.
Going against a linebacker.
There you are.
What the fuck do you mean?
Let's go.
You get to slap second.
You get to slap second, Sass.
I'm the Joker, baby. Give us one, Joker. Give us one. Good one, good second, Sass. Give us a I'm the Joker, baby.
Yeah.
Give us one, Joker.
Give us one.
Good one, good one, good one.
Just one that we can flip the angle of and make a bunch of a little compilation of.
I'm the Joker, baby.
Hey, Big Cat and Sass, don't you guys have to do something second to last?
We were third.
Yeah.
No, you guys are second to last.
It says second to last up there. Was that Naked Twister?
I'm just disappointed
because I'm just trying to be a vibes guy
and it's just not taking.
Now you're trying to be a vibes guy.
It's a big yawn for me.
So you guys slap Will
and Will's gonna slap you. I guess I just love my boys
too much. Will has to slap you first
and then you slap him.
Will actually might have left.
So you might have to slap Tommy Walker now.
Wait, did Will actually leave?
I'll do slap Will with Tommy Walker.
Let's get Tommy Walker.
Yeah, I bet you will, dude.
My boy is 10 years old.
Tommy Walker is 10.
Yo, go slap Tommy Walker off his...
Yo.
Oh, stop that. No, stop that.
No, stop.
Sass, don't.
Sass, stop.
Stop trying to be funny.
Stop slapping Tommy.
Don't listen to these two dudes.
They'll never be anything.
Dude.
Slap.
Slap him to death.
Become a legend.
Lift him off his feet.
Slap a child.
He said no way.
Exactly. Slap a child. Yeah, he knows. He knows. It's like mind a child. He said no way. Exactly.
Flap a child.
He knows.
He knows.
It's like riding a horse.
No, Will's slapping you first.
Flap a son.
Ride his father.
Ride his father.
Oh, man.
I ended up being the only one that could get fucked up.
Will got fucked up.
I'm still here.
Compton got fucked up.
You guys ended up being gay as shit. I'm still here. I got fucked up. I'm still here. Compton got fucked up. You guys ended up being gay as shit.
Big Cat.
Big Cat.
For real, I expected more out of you.
I drank 12 beers.
I thought you were the office boss.
Turns out you're a fucking bitch ass.
If Portnoy was in here, he would be chugging, dude.
You might as well be an office janitor, dude.
If Dave was in here, he would have been chugging.
Give me my mop.
I thought this was your office.
Slap you?
Yes.
Dude, I'm not going to slap you.
No one wants to slap you, dude.
Where's Will?
You're 22 years old.
You're acting like a fucking...
Oh, fuck it.
I'll slap him.
I'll slap him.
Look at Nick.
You want to slap me?
Nick took his makeup off.
You bitch.
No one's gayer than a 21-year-old that's like, go ahead, hit me.
I don't even care anymore.
Screaming at a bouncer, punch me.
Let's run this back.
Let's run this back.
Whose idea was this for me to get slapped?
You were slapping Sass.
I don't want to get slapped at all.
It doesn't matter.
You have to do it.
Who's first?
Can we get on the record?
That's fine. Will's dick
looks dumb big right now.
You have a tight hand.
And that's double-double.
No, we didn't do that.
I puke the most I have in my
entire life. Will, knock him out.
Will, for real, knock him out.
Will, you're stopping first.
Don't do it.
Yo, Will, he said you were a pussy.
Yeah, he was just talking wild shit when you were out of the room, dude.
He said you could not knock him out.
He said it would be impossible to knock him out.
All right, Will, we might for real kill him.
I physically cannot go hard.
Will, do not use your hips, dude.
Just only use your forearm.
Don't turn your hips.
If you flip your hips over, you'll feel it.
It doesn't matter.
You got to get hit by him.
Slap wheel's the only way this shit's going to get decided.
He's in his underwear.
Come on, let's go, Will.
He did go and fluff.
He's straight down to his underwear and it's nothing.
He fluffed.
Yeah, he left and fluffed.
Fluffed. So he could get rock hard. Dude, I's nothing. He fluffed. Yeah, he left and fluffed. Fluffed.
So he could get rock hard.
Dude, I can't.
I hate it.
I hate it.
Sas, why don't you go first so you can set the tone?
Let Sas go first so we can set the tone.
No, Will's going first.
That's the rule.
No, you're not first.
Is that the rule?
No, no, no.
I feel it.
I think Sas should go first.
Yes, Sas should go first to set the tone think Sass should go first. Yes, Sass should go first.
Wheel decided Will goes first.
Tell Sass to take a step to his right.
Sass, take a step to your right.
To your right this way, just for the camera.
Will's a little drunk and he's an NFL linebacker.
All right, Will, you go first.
Go.
Shut up, Sass.
Take the slap.
Go, Will.
Go, Will.
No, I'm going second. All right, go, Sass. Go, Sass. All right, go. Go, Sass. Take the slap. Go, Will. Go, Will. No, I'm going second.
All right, go, Sass.
Yeah, yeah.
Go, Sass.
All right, go.
Go, Sass.
If it's like that, I just know I'm coming for your guy.
No, you're going first.
And if it hurts, you are first.
That's the other way the wheel decides.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, Will.
Dude, if it hurts, you don't even fucking know what you're getting.
Oh, no.
That was it.
Go easy.
Go easy on it.
Oh.
That's easy.
That's easy.
That was light.
I swear to God, if you come after me, I will.
That did hurt.
That did hurt.
Punch him.
Punch him in the gut, Will.
If he tries any funny shit, gut punch him.
That was it?
That was pussy.
All right, spin it again, TJ.
That was pussy.
That's nice. That was pussy. All right, spin it again, TJ. That was pussy. That's nice.
That was pussy.
Spin it again, TJ.
Take them off the wheel, though.
Take them off the wheel.
Nick against.
No, no.
Take me off the wheel, bro.
Nick is going up against.
Where is everybody?
He won the race, dude.
The fuck are you talking about?
Nick's right there.
Oh, Fox News, Dad.
Oh, we love that.
Roan.
Nick against where?
Nick and Roan.
Hey.
Nick goes first.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it. Why are you being nasty, bro? Why are you turning on me?
I just puke more than I ever have in my life.
Both steps to their right.
Oh, that's it?
All right, spin it again.
Spin it again.
It's a set of precedent of nonviolence because honestly. Who's struggling?
Shane, you're up.
BC is?
You're up first, Shane.
BC's having a tough time, dude.
Oh, I'm good, dude.
I drank 12 beers and Sass kept on looking at me going. I've never experienced this.
You got bulldogged.
Nick threw up, dude.
All right, Shane, you're up.
Shane, you're up.
Shane and TJ, let's go. Shaneane you're up shane you're up shane and tj let's go shane you're going first
hey i know you're sad about how shit worked out i'm not i'm not slapping people i'm not doing slaps
you have to slap tj come on you're slapping him first this is tj this is tj he's on the videos
come on all right well you're not gonna you're not gonna yeah you slap him first. This is TJ. This is TJ. He's on the video. Come on. TJ, you're not going to.
You're not going to.
Yeah, you slap him first.
Here's what's crazy.
Here's what you don't know is what units do.
Yes.
There we go.
Unit love.
Yes, dude.
Yes.
Yes.
Unit love.
So you slap first, Shane.
Then TJ slaps you.
There you go.
Yep, yep.
Backhand.
TJ, look at me.
Look at me, dog.
Slap his ass.
Fuck him up.
Oh!
TJ, let him know he fucked up.
Let him know.
TJ, or Shay, slap him.
That was harder than I would have liked.
That was harder.
But you're done now.
Big Cat, this operation you've got going is... It's fucked up. That was harder than I would have liked. That was harder? Well, you're done now.
Big Cat, this operation you've got going is... It's fucked up.
It's fucked up.
It's a fucked up world.
You got a real crap operation going on.
It's crazy.
You guys like KB fucking bellyaching about wrestlers getting paid?
That's every episode. That's every episode.
That's every time.
Every time.
I thought KB was the man, dude.
My bros told me KB was the man.
Who said that?
Who said that?
Billy and Spud or other bros?
All my bros back home in Mechanicsburg.
I'm not even talking Philly.
I'm talking deep state.
It's got to be wrestlers, dude.
I'm talking deep state.
Harrisburg, H-burg, or M-burg, dude?
Che is still looking at me out there, dude. What is wrong with you, dude. I'm talking deep state. Harrisburg, H-Berg, or M-Berg, dude? Che is still looking at me
out there, dude.
What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?
Are you a fucking psycho?
What are you mad at, dude?
He loves you. He loves you. He didn't mean nothing by it.
It seemed like he just
out of nowhere was upset.
Yeah, but he's
drunker than we've seen him before.
Let me know if I can speak.
Speak, Will. Speak, Will. Che, we all said we hated you, Che, but we's drunker than we've seen him before. Let me know if I can speak. Speak, Will. Speak, Will.
Shane, we all said we hate you, Shane, but we all love Chad.
Will needs to speak his piece.
I'm done with that, dude.
You'll like him. You'll like him.
How would he be, man?
That motherfucker gets dressed more.
This guy gets dressed more than anybody.
He gets dressed more frequently than anybody.
Yeah.
Yes, he loves dressing.
Where's KB?
Where's your pants, Will?
All right, Owen and I are going next.
Where's your pants?
Hold off.
Hold off on them because KB's not here.
Spin me.
Stop.
Stop.
Don't hit over all the pizzas.
I didn't mean to.
I was trying to close the fucking door.
No, you were trying to.
I'm sorry.
Where's the guys?
I'm not trying to be a problem.
KB's not a problem. There he is not trying to be a problem. KB's a problem.
There he is.
Phoenix and I.
All right, all right.
KB.
You guys have no idea how much I'm going to hate myself tomorrow.
Where did he just go?
He's walking the wrong way.
No!
Oh, boo.
Who was that on?
It's a mess.
Who was that on?
All right, who's going first?
Steve, can we zoom in on Nick's face?
It doesn't come off.
What he looks like after his 30th birthday party.
Thank you.
Can we just, yeah.
Happy birthday, brother.
I love you.
It doesn't come off.
I love you, man.
Happy birthday, bro.
All right.
Jay and KB.
KB, are you drinking a Four Loco?
All right. here we go
Hold on first
Oh and we're gonna bring justice to the slap wheel
You know that
Big cat
Owen and I are gonna bring justice to the slap wheel
Hang on hang on hang on
What's happening
You guys are all pussies What's happening KB and Jay are going to bring justice to the slap wheel. Hang on, hang on, hang on. What's happening? You guys are all pussies.
What's happening?
KB and Che are slapping each other.
KB.
KB.
He ain't got nothing in him.
KB, for real.
All my dogs back home said you were the best.
Fuck all of you guys.
Literally, hey, Shane, Shane, I'm with you.
Nick and KB is the goddamn engine of this whole machine.
Hey, B, you look like a coal miner, bro, with your face right now.
Oh, you mean that?
KB, you're going first?
I think you go first.
Who hit first on the wheel, TJ?
Shay did?
Shay hit first.
Shay, you got to go first.
Shay, you got to go first.
Yeah. did? Shay hit first. Shay, you gotta go first. Shay, you gotta go first. Shay, you gotta go first.
Shay, have you slapped yet?
Yo, you need to chill.
O and I are gonna return
to this. Put some fucking pants
on, dude.
Whatever you wanna do.
He's slapping you next.
Get a windmill going, Shay.
Get a windmill going.
No hips.
Hip as much as you fucking want because KB's going to end
your goddamn life.
Yeah.
Move this way.
Move this way.
Oh, shit.
KB, I don't...
There you go.
A lot of hostility.
I'm not...
A lot of hostility.
You're going to slap me.
No, no.
You have to slap me
because I'm slapping you.
Who cares how bad he hits you, dude? Do you know the rules of the new slap wheel? He slaps you, you slap me. No, no, you have to slap me because I'm slapping you. Who cares how bad he hits you, dude?
Do you know the rules of the new slap wheel?
Yes.
He slaps you, you slap him.
Yo, Will, do me a favor and get that big-ass, big, juicy ass out of my face.
All right, go ahead, Che.
Because I'm having a hard time not grabbing it right now.
Go ahead because he ain't going to feel it.
KB, you got this, big dog.
Yo, KB.
No, I have to take it.
Death.
Death.
Oh, yeah, he ain't going to feel it.
I'll give you $1,000 if you knock him out.
$2,000.
I'll give you...
$2,000?
$2,000?
$5,000.
$5,000.
$6,000.
I know you're famous.
Just tell him I'm going to double it.
Dude, I look fire with this black face.
I'll give you $5,000 if you knock him out right now.
All right, go ahead, Che.
I'm so uncomfortable.
You're my fucking guy.
Go ahead.
You good?
Stay there.
I'm good.
Just fucking fuck me up. Don't be a pussy. Stop moving your head. I'm going to. I'm good. Just fucking fuck me up.
Don't be a pussy.
Stop moving your head.
I'm going to tell you right now, don't be a pussy.
Because you've spent your entire life being a pussy.
I thought your face was just naturally that red for a second.
He's going to go so hard.
You could tell.
He's like so scared.
Yes!
Oh, no.
Oh, no. All right, KB. You know tell. Yes! Oh, no.
Alright, KB.
I fully anticipate the return.
Yes!
You know what time it is.
You did too much.
Yes!
You know what time it is, KB.
KB, it's time, bro.
Jay, feed him.
It's time, bro.
I knew 100% what was coming back.
He jiggled your jaw, dude.
It's time.
He jiggled your whole skull.
KB, you just shook up your brain.
KB, it's time.
It's time.
KB.
KB.
Don't let him play you, bro.
All right, hold on.
Make sure the camera's right.
Let the boys watch.
KB, let him know.
Yo, close him know. Let me know.
Yo, close your fist.
I'll give you five Gs.
No hips.
No hips.
No hips.
No hips.
KB, no hips.
KB, no hips.
No hips.
No hips.
No hips.
No!
Oh!
There it is. I spit it one more time. He used hips. He definitely used hips.
He definitely used hips.
Dude, he flipped his hips over.
That was a fucking...
Spit it one more time.
Owen, I want you to slap the fuck out of me.
That's how you settle things.
Hold on, hold on.
How do you settle things?
You just said that.
All right, I'm going first.
Out of nowhere, psycho coming from the fucking...
What are you talking about?
Jane, have you slapped?
She slapped.
Yeah, she slapped.
Who'd you slap?
Slap me.
We're best friends.
She slapped.
How can she slap?
How can she slap?
How can she slap?
How can she slap?
Lock the knees.
I tried my best.
I tried my best.
Big Cat, if you dare wind up a hard boy right now.
I'm not going to wind up.
I saw KB and he wound up.
No, don't do it.
Yo, you're going to knock him out.
No, no, no.
Owen's a trooper.
Don't do that.
Don't talk bad about my Owen right now.
Oh.
Oh.
Jesus Christ.
My God.
Give it to me, baby.
Give it to me, baby.
You see that?
You see that, Shane?
Return the favor.
Oh.
Owen. Owen, Owen.
He hit all my jaw.
He hit all my jaw.
Yeah, Owen went for it.
Owen went for it.
That was all jaw.
That was all jaw.
Oh, my God.
That was all jaw.
That was a good smooth.
I'm going to do that tomorrow.
Yes, that's a tomorrow.
That's a tomorrow hit.
Oh, my God.
That rang in the back of my brain.
That rang in the back of my brain. That rang in the back of my brain.
I don't know if either of those were appropriate.
Oh, I love it.
I love it.
I wish I'd hit you harder.
I wish I'd hit you harder because that fucking, my ears are ringing.
I was hoping you threw a hook.
Oh, man.
Low-key did.
He just threw a hook.
You want a beer?
No, he hit my ears.
I have one here.
The back of my head hurts.
Owen went in. I love it, though. I love it. I have one here. The back of my head hurts. Owen went in.
I love it, though.
I love it.
I'm not going to get it for you.
Just get the beer out of there.
Help me out.
Well, Compton needs more beers.
Okay, I'll get you one.
Can I get another beer?
Thank you.
I think within 30 minutes, Will is ass naked.
Yes, dude.
Yes.
Easy.
Anybody has more beer?
Can I have another beer?
TJ, you want another beer? We're good. We're good. TJ, dude. Yes. Easy. Anybody has more beer? Can I have another beer? TJ, you want another beer?
TJ, you got one? Seriously,
I'm not... Talk to the mic. He's the MVP.
Will, for real? I am not
insecure about what's poking out right now.
I swear to God, I'm not even talking to Nick.
Oh, you have a kid.
I wish people would let me speak.
Dude, he says...
What's up? How you doing on stage, bro?
You doing well?
Me?
Shit's been going well.
I've had a couple bombs that have been humbling.
Big talk, dude.
The big talk, boy.
I've had a couple bombs.
You're a big talk, boy.
I had to cold open for a roast battle the other night.
It was bad.
It was really bad.
I'm stepping in the...
Big Cat.
Big Cat.
You're the dog, dude.
Hey, thanks, bro. You are the dog. Yo, I'm stepping in the... Big Cat. Big Cat. You're the dog, dude. Hey, thanks, bro.
You are the dog.
Yo, I'm not going to lie.
Owen rang my bell.
Did he?
Yeah.
That's how I felt.
It got in the back of my head.
I'm happy he did it, but it fucking rang my bell.
Owen's rang my bell.
I got a little bit of a mini concussion going, but I'm fine with it.
He rang my bell.
That's fair.
I respect that, Owen.
People want to underplay Owen.
I'm going to say, shut up, Sass.
He's strong.
Shut up, Sass.
I'm going to respect the fuck out of that, Owen, because I don't think everyone would have done that, but you rang my bell.
Thank you, brother.
For real.
The back of my head is fucking burning.
After you got your bell rung, you get your bell rung Owen?
I'm hearing 16 voices
That's respect
When I say Owen
We're going to bring respect back to the slap wheel
And we did
I think it's a good choice to have a couple beers
Dish out concussions amongst the office workers
I think for real
I think for real I think for real. I think for real.
I think for real there's no lawsuit viable.
We signed a paper.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, you guys didn't, but we all actually had to sign papers.
We legitimately had to sign papers before we did this live.
You legit look like Brian Dawkins with the face mask.
I actually do look like Brian Dawkins.
You look like Brian Dawkins more than Brian Dawkins does.
By the way, Will, Will.
What's up, Brian?
Go nuts, dude.
Dude, did you wrap that thing up in dude wipes?
A little nuts.
All I care about is Will going wild.
If KB comes back, he needs to shoot Will's leg, dude.
He needs to just get back that wrestling.
Will, for real.
Will, you're the last dude.
That would be incredible.
I'll be the first to say it.
Take Will out of the league.
They can't. They can't.
They can't do it.
You're 10.
You're 10.
You're the best dude of all time.
Yo, you might be the greatest dude of all time.
Ever.
For real.
I know you wouldn't fail.
I give it up.
No, no, no.
You're 10, bro.
I don't like this suck-off session right now.
No, no.
This is hurt.
Nah, dude.
Dude's rock. Dude's rock. Dude's rock. This is hurt. Nah, dude. Dudes rock.
Dudes rock.
Dudes do rock.
Dudes suck session.
Dudes do rock.
Who's better than Will Compton?
I've chatted.
I am the guitar emojis, please.
On Earth, nobody.
Look at Nick.
Look at Nick.
Nick, talk.
I don't know.
I don't see any of guitar emojis.
Nick looks like Dana's original.
It's a shame because Will is such a vibes guy.
Talk, Nick.
Will, Will, Will.
You look like Robin Williams in Jumanji.
Will wants karaoke.
Will wants karaoke.
What do you want to sing?
Happy birthday, Nick, you fucking pussy.
You're very nice to me off camera.
We have a cake for his birthday if you want it.
You're an awesome...
Off camera, you're the nicest guy.
I am pretty nice.
Yeah.
If we're talking about off camera, before we went on, Shane came to me and was like,
yo, man, but for real, how are you doing?
Who are you talking to, you fucking psycho?
We're like, how are you doing, man?
I don't know.
I really appreciate what you've been working on, man.
I can see you're putting in the grind.
You're my hero.
What?
He said that to you?
It was you.
You said that to me.
That doesn't sound like something he would say.
I was Shane.
I was like-
He said you were his hero, dude.
That doesn't sound accurate at all. I was like, me? Really, me? No, no, no. That doesn't sound like something he would say. I was Shane. I was like... He said you were his hero, dude. That doesn't sound accurate at all.
I was like, me? Really, me?
No, no, no. That doesn't sound accurate. What did you actually say?
I think I heard this. I was taking a piss. Yeah, you were like...
I was like, me. It was cool to see him. I was more
pumped to see you roam diggity.
I was happy to see you fucking... Hey, bro, I don't mind
what you gotta say on camera, but I know what
happened off camera. Calm down.
The beast, dude. Calm down.
Hell yes, dude.
Thank you, man. Oh, yeah. Compton. Hell yes, dude. Thank you, man.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, now you got his blessing.
Hey.
Get that mic back.
Now you're coming after Compton.
Now you're coming after Compton.
Hey.
Sass.
Sass.
Hell no.
Sass.
Sass, don't play into it. Sass, don't play into it.
Sass, don't.
That's the problem.
Don't make me pants you, Sasserini.
Hey, Roan, throw that to me.
Let me get a little burr.
I got you, big dog.
I spilled it all over my dick.
Yo, who's better than, for real, who's better than Will Compton?
Quit it.
No one.
No one.
As far as NFL players, especially. Maybe McGlinchey. Know it. No, but being for real, no who's better than Will Compton? Quit it. No one. No one. As far as NFL players, especially.
Maybe McGlinchey.
No, but being for real, no one's better than Will Compton.
Why are you being nasty towards me, Nick?
Shut the fuck up.
What?
Why are you being nasty all of a sudden?
Because I'm pushing it back.
You want me to take shit from you all day?
I would never say that about you, dude.
I know that, dude.
I lashed out.
You guys are friends.
You guys are friends.
Unlike him and Shay, who are enemies.
What was that? We have three things left. You guys are friends. You guys are friends. Unlike him and Shay, who are enemies.
What was that?
We have three things left.
You have to do the last trivia.
Shane, Shane, would it make it easier to like me if I told you I was friends with Will Compton?
I love Will Compton.
It breaks my fucking heart, though, the way you treated me just a second ago.
Who's doing Twister?
Who's putting together the machine?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
We have three things left.
Who's fucking live in the lobby?
We have trivia. We have a cake. Big Guy and sass are actually doing twister bro brother stop coming at my neck will
dude i'll i'll i'll make some way to make grown i am a massive fan like legitimately that's love
my boys is like will if you ever make a big time i need to grab one of those coattails. That's you, bro. You love white rappers.
The ranking show.
Tell us your list real quick.
NF.
Top 10.
Mac Miller.
It's fucking easy, brother.
Easy.
Tell it to us.
MGK.
Eminem.
Yes.
MGK.
Cole is behind MGK.
No, no.
Go in order.
Go in order.
Go in order.
Eminem first.
Mac Miller second. Give Will the stage. Give Will the stage. No, but. Go in order. Go in order. Eminem first. Give Will the stage.
All of us are saying, Will,
please don't fuck around. I want you to be
dead serious. I'll be
dead ass for real.
I'll go number two all the time.
Let's go. Let him go.
He's going to be dead serious and he's going to
vow to you. Shut up.
Man, I can't believe you guys lost to us.
I can't believe you guys lost to me and Ron.
Hey, wait.
All the people to lose to.
Big Cat, aren't you guys like big, tough drinkers?
No, I mean, I drink 12, so I tried my best.
You're tough as shit.
You changed the numbers.
I tried my best.
I remember showing up to your office.
I tried my best.
PC, right before we went on a tour, he was like, yo, can I come on the bus?
Big Cat.
I tried my best. I tried my best. Big Cat, I remember a tour, he was like, yo, can I come on the bus? Big cat. I tried my best.
And look who's still slugging him back.
Brian Dawkins over there.
I remember showing up to your office
in Manhattan.
You don't have an office.
I can get one tomorrow.
Yeah, get one then, bro.
Get a fucking office.
It looks like you have a legitimate G-string on, dude.
No, let him get his. It looks like you have a legitimate G-string on, dude. No, let him get his.
Let him speak.
It looks like you have a legitimate G-string on.
Let him speak his piece.
There's no.
You're bare assholes.
You act like you wouldn't go down on me.
Will, you throw me one?
And the worst part about Will's G-strap is the bulge is just shit in his ass.
G-strap.
Will, get that.
I fear rappers, Will.
No, I feel like he should. Will, get that? I fear rappers, Will. No, I feel like he should.
Will, unleash rappers.
You have the largest voice in the hip-hop community.
Will, let him know.
Let him know.
Number one.
Let's go.
Number one.
Eminem.
Yes, of course.
I feel like all of us in here can agree with him.
Preach.
Goat.
Preach. Numberat. Preach.
Number two.
Number two.
Lil Wayne.
Of course.
Let's go.
Let's go.
That's no fucking joke.
It's Mac Miller.
Hold on.
Let him go.
Let him go.
Let him go, dude.
Let him rip.
Yeah, so.
Two.
Speak your peace
Biggie
What the fuck are you doing right now?
Where's Matt?
For real, be real
Where's Matt?
Bro, you're capping, bro
Like, listen, listen
I'm not capping
I'm not here to cap
I'm not here to cap
Four is Beastie Boys
Four is Beastie Boys
I don't know why that's funny
That's three white dudes
So in your top four
You have four white dudes.
Well, no, they're not white.
They're Jewish.
Okay, sick.
He has five white dudes in his top four.
Honestly, Will didn't even notice they were white.
Number five is Tupac.
Yes.
There we go.
Ah, ah, ah.
I knew you meant that.
I knew this was sincere.
Talk about the melody.
Legitimately.
What's that one Tupac song?
You know Sass runs with group chats.
Your mama.
And Sass is like, oh, I don't know.
It's just Barstool.
It's not what I believe.
Sass is a pussy.
No, Will, tell me.
Will, will, will, will.
Tell me you're not coming after me right now after I've backed you up on everything.
Sass, you literally stood there and sat there and looked at me in the eyes
and went with Big Cat on literally everything. Damn, Sass, you literally stood there and sat there and looked at me in the eyes and went with Big Cat on literally everything.
Damn, Sass.
Is that what you did, Sass?
No big sass.
Will, did I not?
All Big Cat would go is, hey, we need to drink more.
And you're like, yeah, yeah, hey, we got to drink more.
Will, did I not say off the bat you were my favorite Twitter follower?
You did, but everybody was.
But now all I'm hearing is hate
in my ears.
Now all I'm hearing is pain in my ears.
You know I can't just fucking...
This is weird, dude.
This is weird.
Oh, it's been weird.
All I want to see is Nick with his...
AB was smart to just leave.
It's weird for you to try to take advantage of...
This episode's going to be like 25 minutes.
I legitimately think everybody in here has got the best opinion to try to take advantage of. This episode's going to be like 25 minutes. Yeah. With everything we have to take out.
I legitimately think, like,
everybody in here
has got the best opinion
because KB...
Talk in the mic.
Put on your headphones.
Put on your headphones.
Put on your headphones, Will.
Hey, Shane.
That's your stand-up.
I was all I heard.
Anybody who's riding coattails for real,
anybody that's like,
yo, I got the best drinker on the fucking team.
I know you're talking about me, dude,
and it's crazy for you to talk like that with a pussy between your legs, dude.
Oh!
A lot of hostility.
A lot of hostility.
Wait a minute.
Isn't that tiny little slit is a giant fucking cock?
Damn, dude.
Oh, it's a giant poop.
Look at that big-ass clit.
Stop, stop.
He's got an overgrown clit.
In that little tiny area is the biggest cock he goes down.
Oh, I can't help you right now.
That's a clit.
I've never seen a clit like that.
That's a clit?
Fuck you.
No, well, well, well.
In all defense.
Well, well, well, well. You're making our guests sad. Fully defending you, dude. Fuck you No Will Will Will In all defense Will Will Will Will Will
You're making
You're making
Fully defending you
Fully defending you
You have
You have
You have huge pussy energy
Bill
Are you hard right now?
My man is wearing a bucket hat
Riding Shane's
Fucking collars dude
Remember when fucking
Che's bitch ass came in
Ah no
Hey
Shane I do.
You were literally sitting there with your shades on that you packed for here.
He is.
No, no, no, no.
You're not going to come at the squad, dude.
You're not going to come at the squad, dude.
He's over here like, oh, I know you're talking about me.
Why do you know I'm talking about you?
Because I heard it.
Because you can't fucking drink at all.
Oh.
I said let's go head to head, dude.
I said let's go head to head.
I would demolish you, man.
He would. He would
demolish you. I want it.
I want it. If Shane was sitting back,
he'd literally be picking at a meme. Will, what a
sad end for you.
That's not the way to come at a team sport.
You've been necking him all
fucking night, dude. Shut up.
Oh, dude. Oh, let's roll it back. Yeah. We could do a 10-minute What a sad way You've been necking him All fucking night Shut up Oh dude
Oh let's roll it back
Yeah
We could do a 10 minute
Highlight tape
He's the best dude
In the world
I love Nick
Don't fuck me
I love you
I would never want to
Be with anybody
Shane
You're my favorite guy
And I'm just trying
Not to neck you
You're my favorite guy
You're my favorite guy
Ever
For real
What a sad end Oh fuck you You For real? What a sad end.
Oh, fuck you.
You did so good.
What a sad end.
Until you took your pants off.
Until we saw your clips, dude.
You've been staring at his fucking cock all night.
You had all day and you wore a fucking Phillies jersey with Unity.
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Unity.
Zoom in on my boy's clit.
No, no.
Don't zoom in on it. Don't Zoom in on my boy's clit. Look at that boy's clit. No, no. Don't zoom in.
No, no, no.
Don't zoom in on my boy's clit.
The man who literally said, let's do Phillies jerseys.
Let's do Phillies.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Look at him with them bangs, dude.
He's out of control.
Hey, Shane.
It's actually.
That is what you were lined up to, brother.
In fact, you're trying to go up on my boy's clothes.
You're going on a fully loaded tour looking at.
You have to eat the L, dude.
You have to eat the L. Fucking bangs across his eye Roan. You have to eat the L, dude. You have to eat the L.
Going like fucking bangs across his eye being like,
you got to eat the L.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It won't even zoom in on people, but they know it's love, dude.
Should we do another slap wheel?
If I got to say one thing about my boy Will.
If Trivia Cake.
Roan will.
I have to say one thing about my boy Will.
He's got a fat ass pussy.
Yeah!
What a sad end, dude. He's got a sad end pussy Yeah What a sad end dude
What a sad end
Alright Will
What were you gonna say
Big dick energy
To a fat pussy
What do you mean
What a sad end
You were gonna say something
That was it
No the rappers
Who's gonna do his rappers
That was literally
You were at five
I'm touching my mic sass
You had five
You were at Tupac number five
Who's six
No that's six.
Literally, that's it.
Why are you trying to come at Rowan, dude?
Dude, because he needs to get his weight up, not his height up, dude. Hang on, hang on, hang on.
He's consumed with hate.
Hang on.
You're consumed with hate, dude.
You're a Sith Lord.
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Wow.
Hey, I'm a Jedi, dude.
I just happened to be a Jedi.
You're not even close to a Jedi.
He's randomly a Jedi.
No, he is.
He is.
How dare you? You're not even close to a Jedi. You don't think Jedi. No, he is. He is. How dare you?
You're not even close to a Jedi.
You don't think I'm a Jedi?
You've been dealing in absolutes all fucking day, dude.
I might be.
You've been dealing in absolutes all day.
He hasn't been dealing in absolutes.
You can take the sunglasses off with him.
I might be Ben.
You can go off with me and step in the middle, big dog.
No, no, no.
Oh.
Matter of fact, 93.
You're L.
You got to eat L. Both of y'all step in the middle with the big that's how you find out for real that's how you take it hey show your eyes that's how you
take it l dude i might flip my bangs for this one dude that's how you take it i can't hold him back
much longer yeah hold him back dude i'm trying my. You have memoirs of a gay show makeup on right now.
Did you, bro?
Yeah, dude.
Let him move.
Let him, Will.
Yo, you're Darth Null, dude.
Darth Null, dude.
Darth Null.
Darth Null.
Darth Null.
You can say what you want, but don't fucking joke about that.
Hey, for real.
Darth Null.
Don't, like, that's the one thing that I prompt.
Like, don't bring that up. Oh, now you're funny? Will, you got to put some paint on. Yo, for real North null Don't Like that's the one thing That I prompt Like don't bring that up
Oh now you're funny
Will you gotta put some pants on
Yo for real
I remember
I remember defending you dude
I remember saying
Yo he's the fucking bro
You went to bat
He said that
Hinge out right now
You fell apart
Him and KB were the funniest dudes
You're saying my boy
My teammate has a clit
You want me to sit back
And watch that happen
I said it looked like
Jamie Lee Curtis Right Alright If it looks like happen? I said it looked like Jamie Lee Curtis.
All right.
If it looks like a clit and it feels like a clit.
To be honest, that shit is little as fuck.
No.
No.
You're not helping me.
No, no, no.
We can't do that to him.
Obviously, no one's going to fight you.
You're goddamn right because you ain't going to do nothing.
Because you're a linebacker.
You're a psycho.
Put pants on.
Two on one.
Two on one.
Two on one.
Two on one.
Two on one.
I will let y'all have it.
Two on one.
All right.
You're challenging us to a fight.
Wait, what if you fought Chase in the middle?
You're challenging me and Roan to a fight.
Who ain't?
Who and Roan?
Two on one.
Against Will.
Two on one.
Wait, Will.
Two on one, rough and rowdy. Two on one. For one Rough and rowdy
For real? Good choice
You look cool as hell right now
Yo for real
You look cool as shit right now
By the way we should take this moment when Sass
Isn't here to be able to be like
I'll make sure you never
Ever sniff it, dumbass.
We're going to talk to Vrabel.
You're a hater like that?
We're going to talk to Versace and make sure you never sniff it.
Quit putting the shades down.
Shane, you're a hater like that?
This is a casual conversation.
I'm joking.
You're the best ever, dude.
I've been fucking sitting around saying Will.
He's been necking you.
He was necking you the whole time.
I said the only reason I'll come down here is if Will's here.
Don't step up.
You're the one who anchored him down.
What are you talking about?
Anchored him down?
Roan had two beers tonight.
Do I got to say it again?
Roan, you anchored Shane down.
Like, he literally is better off than anybody else other than you.
And he still won.
Yeah, because he looked at you and go, hey, my man, be casual.
Just chill.
What you need to do is get your weight up, not your height up,
because you look like a goof.
You're coming off like a goof.
It's big goof energy.
And I mean that in the Canadian way.
Shane, trust me, brother.
I'm with you on that because he told us that.
What's up?
What's up?
Will has your vape, Sass.
Hey, do you have Lil Sass' vape?
No.
All right, are you sure?
I'm positive.
Check your pockets.
Yo, for real, Roan's the dog.
Dude, I can't believe you're trashing Roan.
Dude, why are you trashing me?
Shane, that is not the hill you want to die on, brother.
I swear to God.
I'm not the hill you want to die on.
Why are you trying to trash me, dude?
As if I've never picked you up and put you on my shoulders.
I'm not the hill you want to die on, Rone Till.
Rone's the dog.
All I'm telling Shane, the guy who texted me and said, hey, if you do it, I'll do it.
Let's go.
You're not the hill he wants to die on.
But you didn't win, though.
What's up?
You didn't win, though.
You really didn't either.
We got silver.
We did.
Exactly.
Silver's dope as fuck, dude.
But you didn't win. If Shane sat there and everybody sat Exactly. Silver's dope as fuck, dude. If Shane
sat there and everybody sat in
a fucking bench and was like, yo, who you gonna
pick for first draft pick? It ain't gonna be
you, big dog. Why are you being
mean?
All I'm
saying is it ain't gonna be Roan.
Like, look. But that's such a weird
thing.
If Roan's gonna step up and be like, yo, yo, we're the big dogs,
I'm going to let him know.
I wasn't even stepping up, but now I have to,
and we have to go one-on-one for a 12-pack.
You too?
Me and you have to.
I'm all about it, brother.
Without the Adderall.
Okay.
He didn't have Adderall.
Yeah, sure he didn't.
Pull back the sound clips.
I can't wait.
I don't give a shit, dude.
Light it up. Happy birthday. Light it up, brother. I appreciate it. Pull back the sound clips. Quit it. Keep the glasses on. You're on vacation. Oh, shit, dude. Light it up.
Happy birthday.
Light it up, brother.
I appreciate it.
Light it up, brother.
Me and you.
I'm mad about it.
I cannot wait to go on vacation.
And all we have to do is wear pants, dude.
That's the only rest of it.
You're a big cat.
No, no, no, no, no.
What's up, bro?
You got your fucking lunch aid.
Hey, I'm not showing anything up.
You got your lunch aid, dog.
You can feel good about it.
What?
You can feel good about it.
You're quiet, dude. Oh, no, no, no lunch ate, dog. You can feel good about it. What? You can feel good about it. You were quiet tonight.
Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
You were chirping the first night.
Let's get something straight.
Quiet tonight.
Let's get something straight.
You read the comments.
12 beers.
Oh, boy.
Will, give me my phone.
And you fucking eviscerated my teammate.
Big cat.
Which is a fact.
You eviscerated my teammate.
Why are you hard?
You did.
I admit that.
You fucking bodied him.
Big Cat.
He's dead.
He's dead.
He's dead.
He's dead.
He's dead.
He's dead.
He's dead.
He's dead.
He's dead.
He's dead.
He's dead.
Listen.
Oh, man.
Shane, I know you can drink.
What Sass said to me all day was like, it's all about the underdogs.
Can the underdogs drink?
I drank 12 beers.
And who drank them?
What said the underdogs?
Big Cat, nothing but respect, dog.
I don't think it was you.
Shane, nothing but respect for you, dude.
Nothing but respect for you.
I got, listen, I tried my best.
You bailed.
You bailed.
Oh, I, well, when you fucking, when you killed Sass.
I'll beat the shit out of you.
Let's go.
Let's go.
I'll get knocked out by you.
He'll get ass naked.
Get up there.
Get him.
Who had the underdogs, Frank? I got the nice rap battle of the ward. He'll get ass naked. Get up there. Get him. Who had a younger dog,
Shanky?
Get the nice rap battle
of the ward.
I think Groan did.
No, not even.
He absolutely did.
Absolutely.
You have to be able
to take an L, dude.
You have to be able
to take an L.
We'll recount it.
I was not counting.
I'm not a coward.
I don't think
I was trying to win.
I think you drink
more than Rome.
Man, you guys
are going back together.
Look how he
touched his tail, dude.
Hey, does anybody...
Can we get Jeff T. Ball in here?
Yeah, let's do it.
Wake me up inside.
Here's Jeff T. Ball.
I want to play some trivia.
Wake me up.
I got to piss really quick.
Ron, how many beers did you end up drinking?
Yes, you got to piss too.
How many beers did you drink?
Probably eight or nine.
Yeah, right.
I had over eight. No, you didn nine. Yeah, right. I had over eight.
No, you didn't.
You had seven.
I had 12.
I go head to head with any of the secondary characters on their team.
I drank 12.
You drank seven.
I drank as fast as I could.
And all you did was turn to me every now and then being like, chug.
Owen, give us an assessment on what you saw tonight.
I thought it was good.
I honestly thought it was better than the first one.
You're going out sad.
The fact that it's only 9.30 is fucking crazy.
Yeah, that's fucking me up.
I thought the time was wrong for most of the show.
I'm not blaming it on you.
I'm saying that you are blaming it on me.
Oh, dude, I gave it my all. You laughed at me multiple times. I gave it my all. You said. I gave it my it on you. I'm saying that you can't. You are blaming it on me. Oh, dude. I gave it my all. You've read it to me multiple times.
I gave it my all.
You said.
I gave it my all, too.
I'm wasted.
Roan drank nine beers.
Roan drank nine beers.
Roan's 10 years older than me.
All right.
And what does that have to do with it?
That would put me at a disadvantage, not an advantage.
Everyone knows the older you get, the more beers you can drink.
So the 100-year-olds in the world are the best beer drinkers.
Yeah. Yeah.
No.
Dude, I drank at least eight beers.
You drank seven beers.
I drank 12 beers.
You drank at least eight beers.
I drank 12 beers.
You did not.
Seven beers.
You didn't.
Sass, we can go back to taking.
We'll get a recount.
As hard as I could.
We'll get a recount.
Sass is a pussy.
He said he put out the pussy.
Look, that's a pussy.
It's not a HOV diamond.
It's actually a pussy that he's handing out. It's a wide. It's a massive pussy. It's a loose pussy. Look, that's a pussy. It's not a HOV diamond. It's actually a pussy that he's saying.
It's a wide.
It's a massive pussy.
It's a loose pussy.
To give up on your teammates like that.
Dude, you turn to me and you go, I'm mentally fucked.
Chug.
I was within the first ten minutes, and I said, what do you want me to say?
I said, yo, we need to both chug right now.
You looked at me straight in my eye, and you go, Shane has fucking destroyed me.
Chug your beer.
And I was like, dude, I'm drinking as fast as I can.
Sass, you look like a raccoon who fucking got his mouth into some fucking raspberry.
You lost the Joker, bro.
You lost the Joker.
You're not the Joker anymore.
All right, Jeff, let's do some trivia.
Oh, there's four of us in here.
Okay.
Let's do some trivia.
This has been a mess. As is intended. As is intended. Yeah, as of us in here. Okay. This has been a mess.
As is intended.
As it should have been.
Does this fucking work?
Sass is gone now.
Sass is gone. Oh, it's a little advantage
for Owen, maybe.
Alright, let's do it.
Rudy's in the way a little bit.
Here's your first question.
It's all visual. It's all on the screen.
Who's the missing judge from this American Idol screenshot?
Oh, shit.
Toss it up.
Who's missing from this picture?
First answer, right?
Simon Cowell.
Got to zoom out a little.
There you go.
Okay.
Simon Cowell.
He's in there.
Fuck.
Oh, I had it. Oh, wait.
He's in there.
Yeah.
Paul Abdul.
Owen, check your phone. Nope. It's a female. He's in there. Yeah. Paul Abdul. Oh, and check your phone.
Nope.
It's a female.
It's a female.
Katy Perry.
Oh.
Kesha?
She has nothing to do with music.
Kathy Griffin.
Nope.
Fuck.
Absolutely not.
Less to do with music than Kathy Griffin, I would say.
Oh, fuck.
Paul Dean.
No, we're a little farther away.
Not this room?
People hate her.
People hate her now.
She's exposed to being a piece of shit.
Ellen DeGeneres!
Ellen, Ellen, Ellen's back.
Big Cat got it.
Big Cat got it.
Reveal.
Reveal.
Yes.
There it is, Ellen DeGeneres.
Next up.
One on me versus Roan.
This is Barstool Celebrity Mashup. Yes. There it is, Alan DeGeneres. Next up. One on me versus Roan.
This is Barstool Celebrity Mashup.
Name the Barstool employee and the celebrity in this photo.
I love this.
This is Jerry Thornton and Bruce Valench.
That is correct.
That's Jerry Thornton and Bruce Valench. That was good, Roan.
That was good, Roan.
That was good, Roan.
All right, here we go.
That's one point for Roan. All right, here we go. That's one point for Roan.
All right, next up.
I'm missing a single one of these.
You already missed two.
I'm not – well, I said I wasn't missing a single one, Dan.
Name the three state flags.
All right, here we go.
Three state flags.
I wish KB was here.
It was – these were written –
Colorado.
South Carolina.
South Carolina.
New Mexico.
South Carolina. Colorado, New Mexico, South Carolina. I said it first. Colorado, New Mexico, South Carolina.
I said it first.
TJ, be the rule.
I said it way before Roan.
That's a tie.
No, we didn't, dude.
No, if anyone, it was fine.
I said it way before Roan.
You know what?
Everybody gets a point.
No, no, no.
Everybody gets a point.
Jeff, I said it way before.
No, bro.
No, you didn't, bro.
And the thing is, I love Rome to death.
I said this way before Rome.
I said it way before both of you.
All right, here we go.
You're going to see a bunch of prestige actors and actresses.
What movie franchise were they all in?
They were all in a movie franchise.
I don't know what it is.
People.
Outsiland.
Fucking Frasier. You know who that is. McDormand. Fucking. I don't know what he is. Fucking Frasier.
You know who that is.
McDormand.
King John Malkovich.
They were all in the devil's rejects franchise.
Was it The Last Kingsman or the Kingsman franchise?
No, but not that far off.
Hannibal.
Dick Cheney.
Big, dumb blockbuster movies. Dick Cheney. Big, dumb blockbuster movies.
Dick Cheney?
I think you mean Dick Tracy.
Is that Dwight Shrew?
That is Dwight Shrew.
Oh, fuck.
Now they're in the Dick Cheney.
Oh, and rip a guess.
We've watched this movie together.
Who rules, man?
Wait, what?
Tap him up, dude.
Oh, is it Marvel?
Go play my boy.
No.
Why are you trying to play him?
Shia LaBeouf.
Oh, Transformers.
That's one point for Owen.
They're all in Transformers movies.
You can only see Dwight Schrute.
I'm looking at Compton's eyes.
The next picture you're going to see three Shark Tank judges.
They don't have faces.
Tell me who they are.
That's the chick, the bald guy, and the gay guy.
Barbara, Kevin O'Leary,
and Rob...
Fuck. The other guy.
You finished the name.
Jeff, I loved how his forehead ringed.
Fuck, I don't know what's in my brain.
Rob what?
Big Cat finished that. You said Rob.
Rob. Do you have any?
It works. We'll go with Rob.
Another point for Big Cat.
There we go.
Rob, what?
What's the last one?
All right.
Blank logos.
Okay.
All right.
Here we go.
He needs six brand logos.
Got it.
Sunkist.
Cisco.
Inmans.
Kodak.
Hines.
And the last one would be Girl Scouts.
Girl Scouts.
I have not heard the first yet.
I have not heard the top left yet.
Dunkist.
No.
Orange Maid.
Oh, you're in the ballpark.
Where?
In the drink ballpark.
Cisco.
Oh.
Fanta.
That's correct, Nick.
There you go.
Good job, Nick.
All right.
This was intended for KB to be here.
Name these two African countries.
Oh, God. Oh, that is Egypt. Name these two African countries. Oh, God.
Oh, that is Egypt.
Oh, Burundi.
Oh, that's Egypt and Sudan.
It is Egypt.
That's one.
What's the one in the middle?
Oh, Sudan's right on the thing.
Ethiopia.
Nope.
Fuck.
I said that with fucking...
Jeff, does it start with a consonant or a vowel?
Big T hates these.
Homeless?
No, no, no.
Democrats. Close. you're so close
Congo
you were close with Democrats
Kenya
ends with a ya
Nigeria
Algeria
I know but it's Libya.
It's Libya.
Libya.
Fuck.
What'd you say?
I feel like that was a multiple.
Free blank food products.
Name me the brands or the products.
Pace Picante.
The last one is Chex.
And the middle one is...
No.
Not Chex. Okay, so what's the middle one is No Not Chex
Okay so what's the middle one
We heard Pace and Life
I eat it all the time
Hold on
Shut up everyone
Shut up
I eat it all the time
I literally eat it all the time
All I do is eat
We often have full bat
What did you say
Pretzel crisps
That is correct Pretzel crisps. That is correct.
Pretzel crisps.
Another point for Nick.
God damn it.
I eat it.
No, no.
Big Cat said that before me.
No, I eat it all the time.
Nick and Big Cat tied up.
That's a problem.
Next up, you're going to see three groups of albums.
One band, one artist, one band.
We'll play.
We'll play Jason Mraz and Arcade Fire.
That was me.
I got it. No, I got it. I got it. No, no, no. You said Arcade Fire. I did. I said Arcade Fire. That was me. I got it.
No, I got it.
No, no, no.
You said Arcade Fire.
I did.
I said Arcade Fire.
I need a ruling.
I said Arcade Fire.
You said Arcade Fire.
You got it?
I said Arcade Fire.
The ruling is Owen got it.
Owen got it.
That's fair.
Fair play.
You're going to see a bunch of people from a show.
What's the show?
That is Pond.
No, no, no, no.
Storage Wars.
That's correct
I love that show
Name these YouTubers
Name these three YouTubers
Oh, fuck
Blippi
Blippi, Mr. Beast
Shane Dawson
Okay
Wait, can we find the Blippi video?
Are you talking about Harlem Shake Poop?
We cannot show Harlem Shake Poop.
The bonus is the fourth.
Lance 210.
The one not on screen is Lance 210.
Last round for four points.
Blippi.
We cannot show Harlem Shake Poop on this.
Blippi shitting in someone else's ass.
It's the funniest video I've ever seen in my entire life.
If you're looking, just Google Harlem Shake Poop.
Oh, my God.
I've never laughed so hard in my life.
It's one of the funniest videos ever.
In my life.
For four points, whoever gets this wins.
Nick, ready?
Bar stool ultimate mashup.
Rico.
Hold on.
Body, head, face, and hair.
Body, head, face, and hair.
You got minced KFC hair.
Oh, no.
God damn it, Nick.
Say it.
You got minced KFC hair.
There's one more.
Facial hair.
There's one more.
There's one more. Facial hair is White So one more. There's one more. Facial hair is
White Sox dick. That is correct. Nick got it.
Let's reveal it. That's yeah, Mince. Nick, you deserve
that one. That's incredible.
What a... That's incredible. Those four
together, not attractive. That's the most autistic
I've ever been in my life.
That was incredible. Nick has won.
All I could get was Rico. Happy birthday, Nick.
God damn it. Happy birthday, Nick.
That was incredible. You want to bring him the cake? Happy birthday, Nick. What a it. Happy birthday, Nick. That was it. You want to bring him the cake?
Happy birthday, Nick.
What a show.
Yeah, we have a birthday.
I'll bring the cake.
I'll get the cake.
We got slices of pizza everywhere.
Anyone want a bucket of popcorn?
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
Also, I'd like to play Twister with someone.
Second to last.
DC, where's our phone?
That's, um.
Second to last.
Pull that up.
Big Cat and Sass.
No, no, no.
But that was TJ and Che cheated.
They added a beer out of nowhere. Mm-hmm. Is that true? Also and Sass. No, no, no. But that was TJ and Che cheated. They added a beer out of nowhere.
Is that true?
Also, Sass, I drank fucking 12 beers and Sass drank six.
You were coming off a puke yesterday.
Can I just say, Sass looked at me like every five minutes.
He just kept saying the word chug.
I was like, dude, I am drinking as fast as I possibly can.
This is the closest I've ever been to reverting back to high school
because the cool, handsome guy was looking at me and saying,
drink, pussy.
It worked.
Well, you're a beast, bro.
God damn, did it work.
You're a beast.
Yeah.
You're a beast.
Can we play that Tom Bilyeu clip real quick?
What happened to him?
Is that just – put on your headphones.
Put on your headphones.
Put on your headphones.
I want some cake.
Can we play the Tom Bilyeu clip?
I want to watch that.
Thank you.
What's that?
This has been the worst case race ever.
No.
What is that?
That's a cake.
Yo, can I just say?
Oh, my goodness.
Okay.
Yo, Will, put on your headphones. I'm very appreciative for goodness. Oki. Yo, Will.
Will, put on your headphones.
Very appreciative for this.
I say low key real quick.
Can I just say this to everyone here?
I think Shane might be an alcoholic.
Oh.
My word.
Shane literally got hyped
He was like
He was like
Oh you guys think this is fun
He dominated so fast
No he didn't dominate so fast
We beat him by
This is like
He beat us by 30 seconds dude
He beat the last case race by like an hour
Wait but he beat me and Will by 30 seconds
Yeah he pushed the pace but
That was so fast.
I think he might be.
Well, everyone did.
Like, we didn't really do anything but drink this time.
No, it was bad.
People were way more competitive.
That's why I thought it was bad.
No, I think it was good.
Honestly.
It was good, but.
Trust me.
He was like, yeah, I'm going to end these guys' lives.
You guys want to all play Twister?
Because there's just the four of us left.
Let's play Twister.
Yeah. Let's play Twister, the four of us the four of us left. Let's play Twister.
Yeah.
Let's play Twister, the four of us.
The Che Gillis energy was insane.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We have merch.
From the Che Gillis fight already.
We have limited merch.
I'm happiest the four of us left because we might be the four only sane people.
I swear to God, I really do think so.
Yeah.
Put your mic in As drunk as I get, I won't ever put myself into a situation where I'm going to be fired.
Yeah.
Everyone was so mad.
Like, yeah, what are we doing?
Content first.
Content first.
Let's play some fucking Twister, though.
Yes, sir.
We have four of us.
Let's play Twister.
BC, if you win, it's like Jeff, thank you, buddy.
Oh, you win pride, but yeah.
Then it became a mess.
Shay, bae, bae. I want to finish this show
strong for everyone watching.
Sass came at you for real, though.
He even has to react to the merch.
I'm just going to say right now. The merch looks awesome.
Wait, I want to see the limited edition.
I love my boy Sass, but he's not going to be happy.
We got a little Wade Boggs t-shirt for some sunny slash yak heads.
And then we got some tie-dye.
Yeah, you get the idea.
Yeah.
Oh, and then a NASCAR theme we got in white and black.
And those are going to be really what you're going to want to.
Quigs makes this all look good
shout out to Quigs for
when he took over we skyrocketed
to 100k
on the way to
and our socials hit 100k
and when this entire episode
skips a whole portion
that's when Shane and Che almost fought each other
100k
back to Quigs
our videos have been hitting 60 to 100K every time.
Yes.
We had almost a year without him, and it was not even close.
Very appreciative.
Very appreciative.
Facts.
Where's the twister?
Let's play the four of us twister.
You know who's about it?
Who's about it?
Who's about it?
Yo, spout off.
If we didn't have somebody who was chemically dependent on alcohol,
the trophy's ours.
Just talking shit.
I don't think we have an actual twister board.
What's up, big dog?
Oh.
What's good?
Oh, Che does have a twist.
All right.
All right.
You guys know I'm unbiased.
You know I'm, like, in between.
Right.
What's good?
Roan has been talking so much shit on YouTube.
We beat him in a fight.
And, uh...
I still think it, dude.
I just saw...
I've just seen...
Those donuts?
I've seen what KB did
I've seen how the highlights went
Ron will you have a slice of my cake
Brother what's good
Ron we're about to play
We're about to play Twister
Show the cake
The five of us
Us
We are
Wait I thought the losers
Were playing Twister
No we're all gonna play
Cause we're the last
It's funny because
Y'all who thought you won
Literally just left
Huh Huh Ain't no island here brother No, we're all going to play because we're the last ones. It's funny because y'all who thought you won literally just left.
Huh?
Huh?
Ain't no island here, brother.
Well, I thought me and you were boys.
We are. Suddenly we won, and then jealousy rears its ugly head.
Ugly head.
You got it.
I don't think you know.
All right, y'all got it.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I'll bring a big one.
Oh, yeah.
Love cake, dude.
Oh, yeah, handful cake.
Such a major league cake eater.
No, I don't want Will's handful.
I want my own handful.
No, no, no.
Eat that.
Yeah.
We're like all in a wedding together.
Yo, that is incredible.
Where's my...
This is a really good cake.
Why does it taste so good?
Where is that from?
Milk?
Milk cake?
It's got to be milk.
Milk bar cakes?
BC, holy fuck.
Che!
Che!
Not on my birthday unless you don't eat cake.
I will be personally offended if Che doesn't eat my cake.
Che, get over here.
Get a handful.
Oh, wow.
That actually is absolutely delicious.
Where's my cake at?
Yummy.
Sash just went to the store and bought another vape with his full makeup on,
and I just took the vape from him.
I just have it.
Wait.
Steal his new one, too.
I did.
No, this is the new one.
Steal his new one?
Yeah.
I took the new one. No, no.. No, this is the new one. Steal his new one? Yeah. I'm going to wash my hands. I took the new one.
No, no, big cat, wipe it on the ground.
No!
It's, uh, what a job by all of us, honestly.
Oh, yeah.
Owen, you did a beautiful job.
Will, as much as you and I have personal beef right now, you put on so fucking hard.
I did.
And you belied the fact that you drink beers slowly most of the time.
We thought that you couldn't drink because you drink beers slowly.
You put on a fucking clinic, and you took Nick along for the ride with you.
I thought it was impressive.
I don't feel like that was necessary.
You know I love hype.
On some real, it was cool that you did.
I feel like I was in double digits of beer.
You put on for the entire squad.
I was in double digits of beer.
And you made Nick a better drinker by being a better drinker yourself.
You did.
Yeah, dude.
And I hate to say it, dude, because I –
And while the Will – can I hop on the Will sucking?
Yeah, let's suck Will.
The Yak is a huge hurdle to jump on and fit in.
And nobody has done it like Will Compton.
Free agent, Will. Little it like Will Compton. Free agent Will Compton.
Little cock Will Compton.
Faster than Steve
and Che.
You're a legendary vibe bringer.
You got vibes coming out of your socks, bro.
You got vibes coming out of your tidy black one.
Dude.
It's fine, dude.
It's fine, dude.
You and I love each other to our cores.
And, you know, I don't mind a little razzing.
Oh, Papa needs a nightcap, huh?
Yeah, Papa needs a nightie.
Yeah, my boy a nightie.
Will, I'd call you if I had your fucking number, dude.
That's probably wills
On the low on the low big cats talking Steven Chey down in the hallway, they're gonna look at me like holy
On the low they're having like a serious conversation of a big cat being like yeah, well stand
Well stand up there because it's like I was, oh, put your phone up in the middle.
Let me smack that.
You already know what it is.
That's the camaraderie of this show, dude.
It can go in any direction.
I'm saying right now, as a man,
who doesn't have to do this, but I'm going to do it,
I'm going to clean up this office.
I'm too.
No, especially this room.
Especially this room, we're going to clean it.
Rudy's eating fucking a burrito bowl with a fork right now.
Can we clean it tomorrow? Off camera, man to man.
I've been leaving to puke a lot.
Really?
Yeah.
Let's finish this show strong.
Let's rip. We have a show here. Really? Yeah. Let's finish this show strong. Let's hang out for an hour.
Yeah, let's rip.
We have a show here tomorrow morning.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, we do.
I'll be here.
PJ and I are just going to go straight through.
I want to play Twister.
Nick, did you agree to do the show?
That is a phenomenal little timeout you had.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
It's a fact.
Agreed.
It's a phenomenal. The fact that any of us are still here right now is a testament to us. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. It's a fact. Agreed. It's a phenomenon.
The fact that any of us are still here right now is a testament to us.
We're warriors.
We're warriors.
Ultimate warriors.
God, like I'm trying to give like flowers.
It's hard because I'm drunk.
Flowers?
Yeah.
Put on your headphones, Will.
Let's yak.
Let's yak.
Let's yak.
Let's yak it up.
We're drunk.
Let's yak.
Let's talk for a little bit.
Because Will gave us a yak earlier, just him and KB. Him and KB went exclusive on the yak. Let's yak. Let's yak. Let's yuck it up. We're drunk. Let's yak. Let's talk for a little bit. Because Will gave us a yak earlier, just him and KB.
Him and KB went exclusive on the yak.
How long did you guys go?
Because I went to do this video with Hank, and I thought I was going to come back an
hour later, and you guys were going to still talk about fucking wrestling.
Scholarships.
Yeah.
S is down to my boy, Will.
Wild.
But that conversation was a lightning rod.
Him and Gillis were going all out.
Dude, the fact that you, oh my God. Well, that's movie theater lightning rod. Him and Gillis were going off. Dude, the fact that you...
Oh, my God.
Well, that's movie theater popcorn, too, brother.
Butter through the straw.
Jeff picked up actual
movie theater popcorn for us.
Shout out Jeff D. Lowe.
Dude, as well.
Shout out Jeff D. Lowe.
Incredible run.
Even when he's not in the content,
great fucking guy.
Yeah.
He's got his hand in every pot.
Anyone saw his ad?
Maybe we should do that again.
The Revitalite ad?
The Revitalite ad.
You can pick up the Black Label today in-store
or online at the barstool.
Rudy, can you...
If anybody...
Yeah, if people drank along with us,
Black Label has milk in it,
which is good.
You see?
Milk?
We'll be drinking that all morning.
We'll be drinking that all morning.
I didn't know it was going to be like that.
I love you.
I'm going to be hungover as hell.
I do.
Zeroes hit like a bitch.
I love you. Sass kind of fucked me up tonight. I'm not going to be like that. I love you. I'm going to be hung over as hell. I do. Zeroes hit like a bitch. I love you.
Sass kind of fucked me up tonight.
I'm not going to lie.
Big Hat, what's your relationship like with Sass right now?
Did you guys-
It's okay.
We'll build back on it.
I feel like you kind of hit a rut with him right now.
Here's the thing.
Can I say, I don't think he was mad at you.
I think he was-
I think that anger was at Shane.
He was putting it on you.
Shane fucked him up.
He was putting that on you.
Shane fucked him up real good.
I don't ever want to speak for all of us,
but I'm very excited for all of us to get texts from Sass.
We don't know where your phone is, though, Will.
Here's what killed me with Sass, and I love the guy.
I fucking love him.
But when he kept on looking at me and being like, yo, Chug,
and I was like five beers in front of him,
people rewind. Beer six, I was like five beers in front of him. I mean, people rewind.
At beer six, I was ready to puke because I was trying my hardest.
I felt ready to puke several times.
And I was trying my hardest.
And I was I ended up drinking 12 and whatever.
Fuck Shane.
Here's a rule for new for the next case race.
Don't bring an alcoholic.
Wait, I thought we were champs next time.
I thought we get to run it back.
Yeah, you guys are.
You know what?
Hopefully he gets healthy, though.
All right, fine.
My new teammate is Nick Mangold.
That's fair.
All right, I'm going to grab that.
That's a fact.
Yeah, Nick Mangold is my next teammate.
I got Tucker Max coming out.
Exclusively tanks. Exclusively tanks.
Exclusively documented tanks.
We got a white chair for him to leave a skid mark on.
Oh, man.
That's a throwback.
Damn, you're about to abandon those like once a year.
You never use the Tucker Max cover.
Spurlock wants to come on the act, too.
Dude, Spurlock.
Morgie? We had, who did we have on that was, oh, Billy Mitchell.
Oh, yeah.
He just kept on being like, Spurlock's the best dude ever.
We're like, what?
Where's Will's phone?
Will, where's your phone?
Is it not right there, Will?
Is that your pants right there?
Will, put it on your pants.
Probably in your pants, dude.
Put it on your pants.
Dude, are you looking for your baby?
It's 100% in his pants. Watch this. Watch this. It's down the leg on your pants. Probably in your pants, dude. Put it on your pants. Dude, are you looking for your baby? It's 100% in his pants.
Watch this.
Watch this.
It's down the leg of his pants.
It's in the pants.
It's in his pants.
Literally in his pants.
Holy fuck.
No, Willie.
Don't tell me.
Don't put them on, though.
Yo, can I talk for real for a second, though, with the boys?
Yes, sir.
Can I talk for real with the boys?
Yeah.
Your guy?
Your guy, Big Cat?
He's on a fucking 0-8 run in MLB.
0-8.
Betting?
0-8.
0-8.
What about the Jenkies?
You've been betting against the Jenkies.
Dude, last night I went to sleep.
I tried to be responsible.
I went to sleep at 10 p.m.
Woke up 6.30 in the morning.
0-4 night.
0-5 night.
Sorry, 0-5 night.
Who'd you bet on?
Dude.
Who's letting you down?
Orioles are letting me down big time.
You know what the problem is?
No, no, no.
I follow fucking Orioles fans.
Cute.
That's your baby.
That's very cute.
Bro.
Boys, you want to know my Super Bowl future?
Give it to us.
I don't know.
Congratulations.
No, I do know.
I don't know if they want to hear.
Will, can I say something real quick for you, dad, dad?
Dad, dad.
Dad, dad.
Dad, dad.
Dad, dad.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Where are your headphones?
Your kid is fucking cute as fuck Yeah
Thank you so much man
But can I say something to you real quick?
Can I say something as a secret?
From man to man
Owen has a child out there
Hey Mike on
Put him out for adoption
Yeah
I wanna say dad to dad
We're out there
Probably four now
Is this hurt me
Initially
Because I remember The moment Where I was on a Probably four now. Because this hurt me initially.
Because I remember the moment where I was on a,
we were on a college football show,
and Brandon and I went out one night,
and we got ice cream, and we just fucking hung out.
Just walked.
It was like dad's night out.
And my wife texted me, and she's like,
dad's night out?
Like, your kid's three months old don't become a dad until the kid's like one one and a half then you become a real dad yeah why
why a few months is like because they're not there the woman no listen it's just like nature like
the the woman like when the baby is very young, it's like, you know, breastfeed, all this shit.
Like, it's like, you know what I mean?
Like, you don't have the connection.
You don't have the connection.
And then when, like, one year happens, it's like, oh, here's the connection.
And then there's nothing like it.
When you have that first, like, oh, fuck.
Like, this baby, like, mine too.
It's crazy, man.
It's crazy.
But you're still about to have that.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Because I know you know, like, your wife spends more time with the kid than you do because it's just, like, nature with breastfeeding and everything, like, motherly everything.
Right.
First few months, it's all about the mom.
And then it happens, and you're like, fuck, this is awesome.
That was probably too deep.
No, no, it was necessary because we're there right now.
So after the year, you start breastfeeding.
I know you're proud.
Really what it came down to was I know you're proud.
You're going to get more proud.
That's really what it was.
It was like what you feel right now, it's going to be 10x.
It's deep because
you love your kid.
I love my kids.
It really is like
it's like, dude, it's shitty, but
it's also the best.
That's why I like following Will's
journey on Twitter.
It's shitty, but it's the best.
This is the part where people are gonna tune tune out, but I don't care.
All good.
All ages watching this shit.
Like, going home to my kids every night is the best feeling in the world.
Like, I can make the best content from 9 to 5.
I can make the funniest podcast ever
and it feels good
and then I go home and my son's like
dada and my
daughter like smiles at me cause she can't speak
now cause she's fucking 1
but she smiles at me and I'm like
different level of fulfillment
it's like everything
I could quit it all and just be with the two of them
and it would be good
the hardest part is your wife being fired up yeah I could quit it all and just be with the two of them, and it would be good. It would all be good.
The hardest part is your wife being fired up.
Yeah.
Fired up how?
What do you mean?
Because, like, when you're in, like, this world,
and obviously I'm speaking from a drunk thought.
That's okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Everybody's laughing, like, you know, my man.
No, no, no.
People who are following right now, they understand.
People following right now, like, dude, when you are sacrificing for your kid,
and they're all about you and also mom,
but mom is grinding low-key harder than any of us ever could.
Facts.
It is hard to be like hard to decipher between the two.
Because in your mind, you're putting in the same work as mom is.
Dude, not even close.
Not even close.
When old girls smile at you, bro, it is the best feeling, bro.
And this is going to be like Barstool's gone woke.
What women do, it's fucking...
It's not even close.
...close to my mind.
It's not even close. You're so to my mind. It's not even close.
We're so much tougher than guys.
In BC, you're probably like me.
We're so much tougher than guys.
Dude.
It's crazy.
In BC, you're probably like me.
You do your best at nighttime, but like...
It's crazy.
Mom puts in so much more work than you.
Oh, my God.
And my wife is a working mom.
It's crazy.
Kate's a good example, too.
Kate just goes so hard as a parent.
It's crazy.
And then she'll bring her child
to the
bring cash to the
to the pride parade
and it's like
KB said it today
it's like
you could tell that they have
a good parent to child
relationship
because of how much time
a mom puts in
women do not get enough credit
they really don't
they really do not
because it's fucking nuts
big cat
also transgenders don't get enough credit, bro.
Shout out to the transgenders.
You can say that now that shit.
I can't say transgenders because, you know, we're whatever.
Yeah.
Good deflection there.
It's not even a deflection.
It's just like, yeah, I don't know.
But I know my wife, like, puts that fucking work in.
Yes.
Literally, like, I'm going to go pick up Rue right now. But I know my wife like Puts that fucking work in Yes Literally like
I'm gonna go pick up Rue right now
And I'm thinking in my head like
Please send me a photo
But she does so much more than me
Yeah
Period
As you're in the sting
Paint with a
Hammered
Cake on your
Grown
Like y'all I'm like
Hey BC invited me to
To You see this right now they're
trying to make amends invited me to the case race right now is like hey man show me your
stand-up it's not that bad that's way more funnier because they are shane and yeah and and fucking
sass no they're like for me it's like hey sweetheart on uh wednesday i'm gonna fly to
new york and do a like i'm gonna yes quote unquote work bc invited me to new york to do a case race
i need to say yes in my 30s i guess or i need to say yes right now yeah she's all about it
oh no you know what i mean like that's dope as fuck. You got to find that line.
It's fucking hard.
What do you say?
Dude, it's fucking hard, bro.
It's hard.
Yeah, you're done.
This is literally Sass being like, dude, this is my best stand-up.
Watch this real quick.
Sass is literally trying to learn from Jane right now.
He's like, hey, look, you think this bit's bad?
I want to watch this real quick.
Yeah, Rudy, what do you got, Rudy?
Wait, put his mic on.
I was going to...
Mic this boy.
I walked out there just to get another battery,
and Shane, it was so funny, they were having a powwow,
and Shane was like, dude, I was being a little cunty, man.
You're actually really funny.
And they were literally having...
He was trying to pat him on the back.
It was very fucking funny.
I wish that had happened while we were drinking.
Cause Sass got bodied.
He was out of the case race,
like the first three beers.
Yeah.
He mental midgeted him.
Shane,
Shane.
But he's also trying him by fire though.
He's like,
it's like Sass does come into standup at a little bit of a privileged position
because like he didn't have to like grind. He had shane's just trying to be like all right i'm gonna pay your dues verbally
just by shitting on you a little bit which i think i think is a is a healthy back and forth
i like that it's a good person to have taking you under their wing yeah facts should we um
what should we do right now should we do twister or should we spin the wheel or should we do a slap wheel?
Oh, Jay's involved now.
Yo, Owen, you kind of fucked me up, by the way.
Yeah.
I jawed a little fucked, but that's okay.
I needed that after the last case race.
Because you readjusted me and Dana last time.
The last case race was fucked up.
Yeah, no, it was.
I agree, TJ.
I blacked out for a second.
I still feel like we really hurt each other for no reason. Yeah, no, Owen,. I agree, TJ. I blacked out for a second. We really hurt each other for no reason.
Yeah, no.
Oh, no.
Ring my bell like the back of my head is ringing right now.
My dad did thank me for all the followers at Father's Day this year, but it was fucked up that that's what it came to.
Yeah.
Shout out to Mr. Hitchings, too.
I'm going to be a loser.
It wouldn't be a case race Unless Unless
I mean listen
I love TJ's mom
TJ's dad's a loser
I gotta put them in there one day
Yeah you do
Because I love your mom
Because I didn't know your mom
Her dad is like a fucking OG in boxing
I'm sorry about Joe Smith by the way
That was
I was just out of my head
No no no
TJ got me on this bet
That like Never had a chance.
It was the worst bet of all time.
Guy got knocked out in the second round.
Way, way worse than I thought it was going to go.
Yeah.
But that's okay.
I ride with your mom.
I appreciate that even though it's –
Wow.
I ride your mom.
Okay.
Dad's a loser.
Okay, we're back.
I'm walking on this
Yeah he walked in on this again
I'll bring them in there
In here one day
And you can see
I would love
Cause I actually think
I'd love your dad
They're the best
Yeah
That's why you're
Busting his balls
Because you obviously
Have a natural
Big ten kinship
Yes
My dad loves it
He
Your dad is
Yeah honestly
The relationship between
You and Mr. Hitchings
Is very similar to Shane and Seth
Yes
Yes I know that You take Mr. Hitchings aside And be like You're doing great I know Mr. Hitchings is very similar to Shane and Seth. Yes. Yes.
I know that.
You take Mr. Hitchings aside and be like, you're doing great.
I know Mr. Hitchings.
I actually love your content.
I know Mr. Hitchings can take it and give it back, and that's why I love him.
I have a video of my dad.
He's a loser.
Yeah.
What?
Me and my dad are doing a video.
You have a video of your dad coming out?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I heard what you said, Nick.
No, no, no, no, no.
That is the furthest from the truth.
You just said it, Nick.
I spoke to Hank, and me and my dad are doing a video together.
Yes.
For what?
It's we're going to be in the desert.
What?
I can't say anymore.
Why did you have to talk to Hank about that?
Well, he's our boss.
Hank came up to me, and he said, I'm making you do this.
Get your bitch-ass dad and do a video. And I called my dad, and he agreed. Good'm making you do this. Get your bitch ass dad and do a video.
And I called my dad and he agreed.
Shout out Hank.
I love Hank so much.
I love him.
I just co-signed on Hank's lease.
So if he doesn't pay rent, I'm fucked.
In Hoboken?
Yeah, in Hoboken.
You did?
You gave him the dad treatment?
Wait, KB was living in a cardboard box.
I would have done it if he had mentioned it.
No, he just suffered silently.
Look at him hugging.
Oh.
Oh, it's him and Che.
Oh, wow.
Oh, it's him and Che.
Nice.
Che felt bad,
but it's a delicate situation.
Oh, we did?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah.
He got bad.
We have to leave in a little.
Maybe a little.
Even the start. We got to leave in a little taste. Even the start. No, leave in the start. Man, was that bad. We have to leave in a little. Maybe a little. Even the start.
We've got to leave in a little taste.
Even the start.
Leaving the start.
The man was that bad.
Two seconds in the middle to confuse people.
Yeah.
It got bad.
Case race got bad for a while there.
But that's the beauty of it.
We're drinking a ton of beers.
It is.
It's true.
It's a fact.
Even Will acting like me and him are best friends fucking secretly.
Will's cock's been out for 80% of this episode.
Yeah, and it's not big.
Unrelated, I've been hard for 80%.
That's fine.
That's fine.
Yeah, Owen, how was it for you?
It was actually an eight-hour episode.
We cut it down to whatever.
Yeah, we went till 3 a.m.
Owen, how were the NAs, bro?
Two hours.
The N.A.s were good.
I stopped at 9 tonight because I realized there was no point.
Just know I did that.
Wait, what, ate the popcorn?
Yeah, Will ate the popcorn, so.
Anyone trying to act like he didn't, bro, that was him going fistfuls.
Any of the commentators you said
Real wasn't going to eat the movie theater popcorn
From Jeff D. Lowe
On the third hour
Just know that
Anything that pops up
Check the receipts
Did Jeff just walk in with the popcorn like
Yeah, Ron
I gotta say something
I was on your team last time
Talk to him
You cheated last time
Yeah
What?
I think you cheated this time
Yeah What? You're acting way too What? I think you cheated this time. Yeah.
What? You're acting way too sober.
Yeah. What? And I think we got the win.
Yeah. What?
So what I'm going to do right now
is walk over to you.
I saw your tactics of cheating last time, of pouring
beers into the cooler. Yeah.
Beers in the cans. Yeah. I want to go
claim our win. Yeah.
Unless you want to just get in front of it
and give us the win.
Yeah!
Nick, not you talking about the tactic
that you tried to give me
of pouring the beers into the cooler.
Not the your idea tactic
coming to fruition right now.
Before you bring this up,
remember this is my day.
Yeah, it is his birthday.
Fuck. Alright.
Shane didn't drink any
beers tonight. I knew it. I fucking
knew it. We were pouring them into the cooler
the entire time and leaking them onto
the bottom of the carpet right here.
Look at these two lovebirds.
Go back to them.
Look at them.
Shane's like, dude, I didn't mean all that shit I'm so sad
Dude you think that bit about the homeless people is funny
Yeah it is
It's good it's good shit
Sass stop blinking as much
You know he's calmed down
It's kind of hurt Shane's rep that he's making up with Sass
Will can we see that cock again
Yeah honestly it will Oh we didn't see it
the first time also maybe maybe steven what had that conversation go steven would you say you're
the best uncircumcised linebacker in the league there's no question
number one i thought kiko alonzo was fully uncut though if you look into kiko alonzo was fully uncut, though. If you look into Kiko Alonzo's history.
Yeah, yeah.
He had that one-handed pick with the Dolphins.
Be honest for a second.
For one second.
You're not better than Kiko Alonzo.
The boy went on the New Orleans Saints.
Week four, I roll my ankle.
Injury settlement.
Brutal.
Guess who they trade for No
Hiko Alonso
No
Wow
How many times did that dude get traded
You were on the Saints
He got traded from the Bills to the Eagles
Eagles to the Dolphins
I walked in there and go man
Eagles trade was that for LeSean
Or set up
Set me straight Che
Wait you were on the Saints
Was the trade was for LeSean
Yeah 10 days
How Oh Did you meet Drew Pugh's Brother Wait, you were on the Saints? Was Shane Payton? Yeah, 10 days. How far on Bourbon Street?
Did you meet Drew Brees?
Brother.
Yeah, I shared a hot tub with Drew Brees.
Really?
What?
101.
What was his bird like?
When I was there, boys, when I tell you that.
I had the hiccups.
I had the hiccups.
I got on the Saints roster, and I played in the third preseason game.
Literally, I showed up 48 hours before we played in the third preseason game.
Damn.
And the boy made himself a nice open field tackle in the third preseason game
without any practice.
What quarter of the game?
Do you remember what quarter?
Fourth.
Okay.
Fourth quarter.
My man, I swear to God, it felt good. Boy, are you guys down to play a game right quarter? Okay. Fourth quarter. My man, I swear to God. It felt good.
Boy, are you guys down to play a game right now?
Yeah.
We're going to say NFL players.
Will's going to say if he's seen their dicks.
Amir Abdullah.
I like it.
Amir Abdullah.
Love it.
Michelson.
Amir Abdullah.
What am I saying yes to?
Amir Abdullah.
Yes or no?
Biggest.
Oh.
Amir Abdullah?
Yeah, he is the biggest.
The Dominant Sioux.
Zero question Amir Abdullah's got the biggest fucking cock. The Dominus Sioux Zero question
Amir Abdullah's got the biggest
Fucking cock
The Dominus Sioux
How did Roan know to start with that?
We've talked about it
He's a tier one
We've talked about it
Have you seen
Cortland Finnegan's dick?
Doesn't matter
His dick is
Inconsequential
What do you mean?
Yes or no?
No.
Yeah, you've seen it.
Have you seen Christian Ponder?
I've seen it, yeah.
Vrabel?
McCourty.
That thing's got to be wide.
It's got to be wide.
Wide.
Jeffrey Simmons.
Wide base.
Jeffrey Simmons.
Big dick.
But Amir Abdullah.
Amir Abdullah's the goat.
I swear to God, boys, Amir Abdullah has got the biggest fucking wrench I've ever seen in my life.
No, no, no.
I believe you.
Is it like...
On my name.
I thought that he was going to be a stud when he got drafted.
Who was he drafted?
By the Lions or something like that?
I thought that he was going to go around.
Amir Abdullah was a Viking for a while.
Oh, Viking.
That's what it was.
Listen, boys.
Because he went stupid because it was probably just a big old...
Yeah.
Did it help him balance when he was getting hit?
Do you think it was some sort of dorsal fin?
All I know is Amir Abdul and I would...
Could he drop to a three-point stance with his hands in the air?
And say, whose ass are we taking in the shower?
No.
And Amir and I would go in the shower, grab dudes, and be like, yeah, we're taking that booty right now.
Dude, I don't think he would like you putting it on.
No way.
Dude.
He wouldn't care that he has the biggest dick in the world.
Listen.
The fact that you guys were taking booty in tandem?
How many boys were taking booty?
What about Kenny Bell, though?
Kenny Bell is my dog.
Monster cock.
For real?
Yeah, I swear to God.
Remember that block he had?
Yeah, Big Ten championship.
Bro, that block was crazy.
He de-cleated.
That might be the best wide receiver block of all time, the Kenny Bell block.
He was a legend.
Who had the lowest balls?
The smallest balls?
Lowest.
Lowest, lowest.
Lowest hanging.
Lowest hanging.
Like, who had balls by their knees to the floor?
You ever see that?
Do you ever notice?
Or you probably weren't even taking notes.
You were probably just a Frenchman.
Can I ask you a question, Will?
Go ahead, big dog.
That Big Ten Championship game, Chris Borland. Oh game Chris Borland
Oh Chris Borland was a beast
Hey dog
Wait no
Were you at the Melvin Gordon game
At Wisconsin Madison
When he ran for like 500 yards
That was the next year
That big 10 championship game
When like four guys ran for 200 plus
Yeah
How much did that suck
Brother like We were in at halftime, and I was like, yo, we are getting our shit pushed
in.
Can you pull up the stats to me?
So what did you say to everybody at halftime?
Like, what was the pep talk?
What was the-
Bro, and it's all hindsight.
But?
Like, at the end of the day, when I've been on...
I was on Bo's podcast.
And Sandman.
Oh, yeah.
I was on Bo's podcast not too long ago, and I was telling him, like,
why did we not adjust and set two off the edge away from the speed sweep?
Because a speed sweep is where we got beat.
No, Will.
In championship.
No, Will. What year? He got dummy by a speed sweep.
Hey, what's up?
Will.
You're the best, dude.
You might be the best.
I want you to look at me.
Revitalite's going to save our ass.
I have a feeling for a smallest dick on the team.
Smallest dick on the team.
I drafted this guy in fantasy. Big believer. And I want you to tell me if he has the smallest dick on the team I drafted this guy in fantasy
big believer
and I want you to tell me if he has the smallest dick on the team
was it Jericho Cotri
Tajay Sharpe
I mean he's got a little bit
I mean
but he's got a legit
alright here it is
this is bad Will
so this was 70 to 31.
Show the rushing stats.
Jesus Christ.
I know.
Trust me.
I know three guys.
Wait, that's Georgia.
Wait, no, no.
Three guys head to Wisconsin.
Two in the rushing yards.
You go to the game.
Jay, what do you got?
Dude, I actually get twice as much Revitalite because I pour half of it out into a cup and cut it with water.
Genius shit.
I think Will might be the goat.
I don't have that sweet of a tooth.
Yo, we saw you, Shane.
We saw you gassing up sex.
We're watching you on the cameras.
For real?
What'd you say to him?
We were watching this.
What'd you say to him?
I'll be honest. I was struggling to speak.
But I was.
I was dishing out talk.
What's up?
A little.
Give us a lowdown of what you were saying.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I fuck with Sass.
Yeah, you do, dude.
It's love, dude.
He is.
I love Sass, dude.
He does.
There's a lot of love around here, dude.
It is.
You bust balls a little bit.
I joke around, but, yo, Will, you might be the GOAT, dude.
Yo, people, Josh, dude.
Me and Shane are watching clips.
Will Compton might be the greatest dude of all time.
Yeah.
Yeah, show this real quick.
Real.
While he's walking out there.
He's crazy vibes.
All right, so this is what it was.
Except for when he's trying to. It was bad vibes. This is what it was. It was bad.
Nebraska was 10-3. They should have won this.
216-202-109.
Look at all those NFL running backs.
Think about that, though.
216-202-109.
That was bad.
I mean, there's many Rutgers boxers
with the same sort of result.
Did Wisconsin score 70 points against you?
Yeah.
Was it Sue?
It wasn't Ndamukong Sue on that team, was it?
Was Sue on the squad?
I don't think so.
No, Sue wasn't.
I didn't bring that up.
I didn't bring that up.
You brought it up.
These psychos did.
No, I brought it up.
I would never bring that up to you.
I asked him.
He brought that up.
Sue had the best combine performance of all time.
I brought it up.
No, I'm talking about the combine performance.
When Sue was doing the drills at the combine.
Yeah, can we watch the Sue highlights from that Big 12 championship?
That was the greatest game.
That was the greatest game ever played by a defensive player in college football.
Sue's a real piece of shit.
I know. Dude, listen. real piece of shit. I know.
Dude, listen.
Huge piece of shit.
Play that.
Play those highlights.
Just search Nagamata Sue versus Texas.
Big 12 championship game.
Maybe the greatest defensive performance I've ever seen in my life.
He tried his best.
Daz, let me get your vape.
Dude, he had like.
You have my vape.
I don't know what he had.
He had so many sacks and
tackles in that game.
It was fucking insane.
That was fucking
nuts. Insane. Best
college performance of all time. Owen, you want to
start? Reggie Bush versus
Fresno State. No Sean
Moreno leaping
into the end zone. Find him versus Texas.
He asked me to start, actually.
Texas Big 12 Championship game.
All right, dog.
You're going to turn on me?
He's about to wrestle you.
No, no, it was the Big 12 Championship game.
It was the last Big 12 Championship game right before Nebraska left.
Best college performances?
Watch this.
Actually, it might be the best.
Watch this.
Dude was a fucking monster.
I've never seen anything like this.
Yeah, he was really scary in college.
Dude.
His ass.
He looks like Joey Kamasta from The Waste Down.
That's a compliment.
He dominated.
Dude, it's so much more fun to watch than me.
Look at this.
Chipping him.
No.
No.
Quarterbacks got to get rid of that, though.
How many seconds?
X-play.
Boom.
Four seconds. Fucking interior lineman. How many seconds? Next play. Boom. Four seconds?
It's a fucking interior lineman.
Oh, my God.
Jordan Davis on the birds next year?
That's what Jordan Davis is about to look like, dude.
I don't know, dude.
That was a fucking...
You don't?
I'm not laughing.
What were his stats in this game?
I hope so.
Look at this.
I can't believe it's your birthday
and you turned on me like...
Oh, no, no.
I was going with the ebbs and flows.
You treated me like a big jerk out there.
I was happy you were here.
Four and a half sacks, six tackles for loss.
I still am.
Four and a half sacks, six tackles for loss.
You and I and Jersey Jerry are supposed to be doing Steelers Eagles.
They're playing in Philly.
We're supposed to be doing a video.
I know.
We're about to do a gambling for like an hour.
Exciting.
Yeah, we watched.
I was trying to convince Shane that
we watched.
You treated me like a jerk.
I treated you like one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sass, when I say we watched,
we watched.
We were watching you.
We were watching you being like,
Shane, look at this bit.
Shane pushed this case race to the next level.
I wasn't showing him my bits bits I was showing him other comedians
Sass showed me some of his bits
and I said Sass
those are decent bits
he would have never done the case race this fast
I was showing him other comedians
yeah he showed me
Colm Tyrell
he showed a guy that
I'm pretty close friends with
yeah that's the bits you guys were watching?
Columns jokes.
I know Columns.
You got to show up.
What was it?
Garden variety racism?
I'm the only one respecting Sue right now, Will.
What bar are we hitting after this?
Kettle, dude.
I can't wait to hit the bar.
It's got to be kettle.
Will.
Jam.
You gave your best effort, dude. Can we do some karaoke? God damn it. Shane, I swear to God the bar. You gotta be Kettle. We're hitting Kettle. Jam. You gave your best effort, dude.
Can we do some karaoke,
God damn it?
Dude, Shane,
I swear to God, bro.
Sue has a ring, right,
with a box?
I really gave my best effort
and my eyes were on you.
I was like,
Oh, you're a bitch.
Oh, my bad.
Man, I'm so excited
to see a nice film
of the end there
when it was like,
yeah, what do we gotta do?
It was tied
and then you went
bang, bang, bang.
I'll crush him.
You went crush, crush, crush.
I did crush him for the troops.
Put the team on his back, dude.
We put some music behind that.
That was for the troops.
That was for the troops.
You did it.
Everybody outside, he was like,
yo, what are the boys, Nick and Comp, doing right now?
Yeah, I know.
KB left a while ago.
He's been home for a long time i saw him outside
and he was leaving yo big cats obviously big cats the goat dude yes i don't say that that's fair
go on shut up dude what does go mean like go on i just respect him cat's not my goat as of tonight
big cat's one of the goats of all time dude he. He's your woat, Sass? He is because of, like, yak and, like, barstool and, like,
everything he's done, dude.
Oh, he's Big Cat.
Sass, he's your woat?
Big Cat is my woat as of tonight.
Ah, you guys are teammates.
Sass, you're my woat.
I fucking chain.
Y'all are mutuals?
I drank as hard as I could.
I just kept the lung in me going chug.
You guys got three beers above me.
You should be proud of that.
I had 12.
You were three beers above me. Shane, be proud of that. I had 12. You were three beers above me.
Shane, if we're talking about sass, like, you want to fucking.
Listen, listen.
Two's still drinking right now.
You should be still drinking.
Hey, if we're going legitimate.
It's 9 o'clock on a Saturday.
Easy.
Regular crowd shuffles in.
There's an old man
sitting next to me. I want to hear Shane talk about
how he felt.
That was kind of cool.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Sing along, boys. Sing along.
Wait, TJ, pause this.
No, no, don't pause. Don't pause.
I'm going to retire soon.
Don't pause. Son, no, don't pause. Don't pause. I'm going to retire soon, and I'm just going to...
Don't pause.
Wait, pick that.
Don't use yours.
Son, can you play me a memory?
Pick that.
Take that back.
I'm not really sure how it goes.
You are goaded.
But it's sad, and it's sweet, and I knew it complete.
But soon.
And I wore a younger man's clothes.
Five years.
Oh.
Five is a fucking deal. Five is a fucking clothes. I've been. Oh. I have a fucking deal.
I have a fucking deal.
I'm retiring five years.
I can do it.
La, la, la, la, la.
You want to take back anything nice you said to Sass?
Tight five.
Sing us a song.
You're the piano man.
Sing us a song tonight.
Well, we're all in the
Can you pull up the fucking lyrics?
We're having a great conversation
It was flowing, Seth
It was flowing good
We were all giving each other flowers
I didn't blow shit up
They started playing this
I didn't ask them to play shit
We were giving Owen his flowers
Rudy was getting his flowers
I'm not gonna sing shit
Why do you talk like that, dude? Because gonna sing shit Why do you talk like that dude?
Because everyone
Blames everything on me
I didn't
I didn't ask
Did I ask him to play piano man?
Yes
I told you actually
Yeah multiple times
No I did not
I think you did
I think you actually did
You're in public
Yelling at me
On the fucking tapes back
I did not ask anyone
To play piano man
I didn't ask anyone
To play shit
Disgusting
Yeah you're mad Yeah you're mad ask anyone to play piano man. I didn't ask anyone to play shit. I'm pretty sure.
Big Cat, you're mad because I drank three less
beers than you and you're fucking
higher than I am.
He's quick
with a joke.
You drank 12 and I drank 8.
We have 19.
Will, thank you for coming
and putting so much effort into a show that you're not a part of.
It really meant a lot to everybody.
Shane, I know I was being a jerk when I was pissing next to you.
We're all huge fans.
I was jealous.
I was so jealous.
I'm not anymore.
You know I'm about that.
I'm not anymore.
It was surreal.
I apologize
Jay
figure it out
accept the apology if you would
how's your experience been Shane
talk about your experience in totality
I'll be honest dude this shit's been nuts
what are the highs and lows
give us some peaks and valleys
highs was getting my face painted
telling the
face painter, I love
Brett Cavill.
And she got mad.
We were having a big
deal about that.
I said, hey, lady.
Fucking paint faces.
Shut up.
Cav is my hero, dude.
About opinions.
I love Cav.
And I got in here and
I went to work.
I did.
I mean, it was
surgical shit. Yeah. You went in like, and I went to work. I did, I mean, it was surgical shit.
Yeah, you went in like, it was Lenox Hill.
The second I saw it was closed, I ended it.
Bang, bang, bang.
I was disappointing you guys.
Trying to keep up.
What else is everyone supposed to do, though?
We have to try to keep up.
I wish they would have not done that.
Tried to keep up?
Yeah, because now look at us, dude.
Yeah, we're a mess. Now dude. Yeah, we're messed.
Now we're fucked.
We're sober.
We got popcorn
and pizza all over.
Everywhere.
Nobody's played Twister.
Nobody's put together
the Papa Shop machine.
Kea came out here
and tried to fight you.
Fuck it.
It was a beautiful night.
That might have been
the most insane shit
I've ever seen in my life.
It's more fun than Rogan
so he clickbaited.
What did he say?
What did Che say to you
out by the chairs, though?
We saw he was talking to you by the chairs.
I think he was trying to set shit right.
He was, and he did, yeah.
It was right.
You guys are cool?
I mean, I don't know who he is.
Yeah, but he's saying that you're cool on his end.
Yeah, definitely.
So you're cool on your end?
Yeah, for sure. He's giving you a wolf pack. He gave you a wolf pack. Wolf pack back. Yeah, definitely. So you're cool on your end? Yeah, for sure.
He's giving you a wolf pack.
He gave you a wolf pack.
Wolf pack back.
Oh, that's love back.
Oh, wolf pack for life.
Yo, Tim.
And if we could...
You like the bucks?
I do.
Let's go, dude.
If we could do one thing, it would be to get War Mode as an official Barstool podcast.
We just want to get War Mode in the door.
We want to get Billy and Spud in the door.
Can we get it done?
I would love to produce it for free.
We probably can't get Matt and Shane in the door,
but can we get War Mode in the door?
Yes.
How's Matt and Shane doing?
Is it Patreon?
It's going dumb.
They're making more money than I could comprehend making.
That's why Sass asked for his raise.
He saw their Patreon going dumb.
He saw Matt buying their Patreon.
I saw podcasts that were smaller than ours getting, oh, my salary every single month.
Whoa.
In Patreon.
So, yeah.
They're making $250 a month.
How does that feel?
No, they're making fucking $40K a month with my salary a year.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Shout out Barstool on top.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What the fuck did you just say?
That's not true, dude.
First off, you make more.
What is 480 a month?
Second of all, you're a headliner.
You're a headliner.
21 years.
You're a headliner in Arlington.
You're making 480 a year?
Yeah.
I don't think being 21 has anything to do with it.
No, I'm saying have some perspective.
My respective on what?
Perspective.
Have a little respective, bro.
Give your entire career in front of you.
My career is peaking as of right now.
What's going to happen on the backside, though?
I'm making basically under the poverty line.
Your back nine is going to be 80 years.
If it's peaking now.
I'm predicting you live to 100.
Dude, look at us going for two hours after the case race ended.
That's love.
It might be like three hours after the case race ended.
Shut up, Quigs.
God damn.
Shout out Nick eating an apple.
I didn't eat an apple. Where'd you fucking get an apple? Shout out Quigs. God damn. Shout out Nick eating an apple.
I didn't even know.
Where'd you fucking get an apple?
Shout out Max.
We do another race?
Right now?
Yeah, yeah.
Should we start it fresh?
Shane, when you
finish 10?
We could do it.
We could do it.
When you said that you
had an alcohol problem,
that was facts.
I was just goofing around,
but for real,
when Bush came to shove, I knew
I could have not lost.
Yeah, no, it's your reputation.
It's definitely my reputation.
He's got a bad reputation.
I couldn't get the word out. I'll be honest,
I couldn't get the word out.
Facts. Wasn't there a Kanye song he was talking about?
Bad reputation.
Reputation might be a bad reputation.
He's a bad rep.
I saw Will's bitch ass, too.
Dude, yesterday.
I knew Will was going to be yapping, dude.
I was riding my bike around.
Shut up, Will.
Yeah, he's lit up.
Shut up, Will, guy who hasn't spoken for 20 minutes.
Shut up, Coke Zero ass bitch.
He does look like a whole Coke Zero,
but also the fact you came out here, Will,
from tight end U,
and put the team on your back during...
What the fuck?
Shut up, Nick.
You ruined the whole night, dude.
Also, Shane.
You're lucky I didn't kill you.
I'd actually say KB ruined the whole night
by getting into an extended fucking wrestling conference.
He started off with bad vibes with the wrestling.
There's KB.
I'm not kidding.
He left.
I like that.
KB's been gone for hours.
Hey, look.
Got the call up from C-Date.
KB did suck, dude.
I was told KB was the funniest
Yes, he's the funniest person
Nah, he has like a real dumbass, dude
He just can't drink like that
The bubbles get him
What would you have liked more from him?
Would you have liked if he was chirping a teen the entire time?
That would have made him cool
Would you say?
He was chirping the youngest one of the bunch
No, I think it all the weakest.
You want me to be honest?
Yeah.
I would have liked KB if he would have chilled on the revoking dude scholarships.
That's a weird fucking thing to die on.
I will say I don't think he actually has any of the opinion.
He just chooses one to run with.
Yeah.
He is the funniest.
He doesn't actually think that.
And I'll be honest, I'm shit-faced.
Yeah.
What?
I'm attacking guys. You guys don't have to
defend them.
Yeah, we do.
Oh yeah, we gotta defend our boy KB.
We'll defend KB.
Not Sass, though.
He's gotten attacked by some stand-up comedians before.
Oh, DeStefano came in and embodiedB. Not Sass though. Sass is He's gotten attacked by some stand-up comedians before. Oh, DeStef came in.
DeStefano came in
and bodied him.
Yeah.
He wasn't cool.
He bodied him.
That's bullshit.
He said he was
a wannabe actor.
I don't like that.
Oh, KB's the funniest
fucking dude alive.
Fair.
That's a fact.
I was told KB was the
Oh, he is.
Yes.
He is.
Yeah.
He is.
Pretty good.
He left.
He left.
Sass is out too.
Sass, I didn't mean it.
Dude, he's sad.
Real though, Sass does suck.
Fuck.
No.
Sass sucks.
Sass looks to you so much for advice or affirmation.
Like if you told him he said one funny thing,
he probably would carry that throughout his entire...
He's going to puke. And that's what my guess is what that conversation his entire uh he's gonna puke and that's
what my guess is what that conversation was when he was showing you column tyrell he was just
looking for you to to be like you're funny too yeah did you give it to him did you give him any
words of affirmation because that's his love language i love sass that's a no it's not gonna
go well for him that's a no for sure Yeah we put in work
Nick it's your birthday
Why did you talk to me like that?
I was defending my guys
No you were being nasty to me
I wasn't at all
We were in the bathroom
I didn't say one negative thing about any of your guys
And you
Well you kind of eviscerated Sass's entire life what did i say to you in the bathroom
career takedown yeah you ruined sass's entire career i said i appreciate you coming out and
i said i had fun hey what did will say popcorn you had the popcorn so close to your mouth to eat it
a lot of people thought he was going for a sting.
What does that mean?
He is Coke Zero, dude.
Look at it.
Look at it.
It matches it perfectly.
It matches his paint.
All right, how should we end this?
Should we do one last slap?
We'll just the first and second slap, and then we end.
Yeah, one more slap.
Just first and second pick, and then we end.
Yep.
That's it.
Go ahead Buzzy Alright
Put it on there
Subscribe
Take KB and Sass out
Take Che out
Yeah
He'll be swinging with hate
So just the remaining people
No
It's just first pick,
second pick, end of the show.
Thank you to Revitalite.
I'm only going to survive
tomorrow because of Revitalite.
I'm just letting y'all know.
Half Revitalite before bed,
half before bed, half in the morning.
You'll be good to go. Swear?
That's the move. We're recording at 1030 tomorrow.
I'm assuming we're going to have Revitalite. Yes, tomorrow morning I will be here. I'll be good to go. Swear? That's the move. We're recording at 10.30 tomorrow. I'm assuming we're going to have revival.
Yes, tomorrow morning I will be here.
I'll be here at 10.30 a.m.
Ready to go.
Recording a show for Friday.
Shane, go piss again.
I have to talk shit.
All right, spin it, TJ, and then we're ending.
Nasty thing to say.
I really hope I don't get up here because Owen fucked my shit up.
I only turned on the KB stuff because he wasn't here.
Yeah.
Maybe he rules.
Owen went hard as fuck on that slap.
Oh, no.
Roan is going first.
Oh, no.
Is he slapping?
Roan, if it's me.
I hope it's just not Compton because Compton has a vendetta against me.
Oh, that's perfect.
That's perfect.
That's a perfect ending.
All right.
No, no, no, wait.
Make sure you're in the camera.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on. Get on. Hold on.
Get the camera set up.
TJ.
All right.
There it is.
Go to the other shot.
Yeah, there it is.
It's for the troops.
Oh, that was nice.
Sorry.
That was pretty hard.
That was pretty hard.
Take it easy.
End him, Shane.
Get me good.
No, no, no.
End him.
End the show.
Finish him. End me. Round up? You're such a fuck. Wait. Hold on. Shane. Get me good. End him. End the show. Finish him.
End me.
Roundup?
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Shane, step to your right.
Step to your right.
Shane, you're such a fucking pussy.
Wait, I'm not going to slap Roundup.
You have to.
You have to, dude.
You have to.
You have to slap me right now.
It's the end of the show, dude.
Roundup.
Give me a good one.
For the win.
How can he slap?
Lock your knees,
dude.
Lock your knees.
How can he slap?
How can she slap?
Yeah.
That was good.
That was not enough.
Boom.
Shout out to the Indians.
It was good.
All right.
It was good.
Thank you everyone for watching.
Love for the boys.
Case race number two. Subscribe. DJ Qu right. It was good. Thank you, everyone, for watching. It's enough for the boys. Case race number two.
Subscribe.
DJ Quakes.
Subscribe.
Subscribe.
Hey, everybody.
Steve, thank you.
Thank you, everyone.
Easy victory.
Shout out, Quakes.
Easy victory.
Wow.
We got to clean this.
We got to clean this.
It really was a layup, dude.
Subscribe.
Buy the merch.
Play work.
Buy the merch.
Subscribe.
Thank you, Shane.
Thank you, Will.
Thank you, Big Cat. And the merch. Subscribe. Thank you, Shane. Thank you, Will. Thank you, Big Cat.
You're welcome.
You're welcome. It's the act. It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to start shopping, too.
Yankees love is the act.
It's the act. Love you all. Love y'all.