The Yak - Case Race Part 4: Wild, Wild West | The Yak 4-14-23
Episode Date: April 14, 2023Love you all 10xYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. She comes in here, I mean, her whole bus was out.
It's insane how seriously people take drinking.
Yeah!
See what I did? Now. Did you see me do it? I take my keys off my neck. I'm the Joker, baby.
Holy shit.
That's good.
That's fucking awesome.
Damn good.
Welcome in.
Case Race 4.
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Hank, what's the promo code?
Yak.
What?
No, it's yak.
You're going to say it?
You have to drink.
You said it.
Oh, I said it.
Yeah, we told Hank right before we started that if he says the word yak, he has to drink
an entire bottle of Pink Whitney.
And then I fucked up the whole joke.
A yelling yak. Well, I drink an entire bottle of Pink Whitney. Then I fucked up the whole joke. A yelling yak.
Well, I know the answer.
Start.
All right, well, welcome in.
Everyone's excited.
Should we go through our face paint and some rules before we get started?
So, TJ and Zod, why don't you guys start?
What are you guys?
We got Brokeback Mountain.
Okay. Just horsing around in here. And are you guys start? What are you guys? We got Brokeback Mountain. Okay.
Just horsing around in here.
And are you guys good at it?
What are we seeing?
Zaw, is that a horse?
I'm a horse.
I'm a horse with a cowboy hat on.
Jalen Hall spunk on your horse in a lighter color.
Are you guys going to kiss?
The horses weren't gay.
I think they caught it.
Yeah, the guys were riding them.
Their gay dicks rubbed off on the horse.
Ledger died.
You got sicker.
I did, yeah.
All right, so what are you, Che, and Nick, who just, I hate that you were able to just get away with that.
You got Justice League.
You're a cyborg.
I'm Superman.
That is Curl.
What?
Superman doesn't wear a mask.
Curl doesn't even go that way, though.
It goes the other way.
That's true.
You got it the wrong way.
You got to read it, Curl.
I'll go wipe it off.
Be back in half a second.
All right.
Kate and I are Heat Miser and Ice Miser?
Ice Miser? Cold Miser?
I was singing the song. You didn't know the song.
No, I'd never seen it.
I just know Heat Miser.
I'm Mr. Sun.
I'm Mr. Heat Miser.
I'm Mr. 101.
I know it.
He didn't know it.
I FaceTimed my family before we went live,
and my son was just like, take that off right now. Does he get it? I got to work. I FaceTimed my family before we went live, and my son was just like,
take that off right now.
Does he get it?
I got to work.
I got to work.
Did he get that you're doing Andrew Santino?
All right, KB and Rone?
We are Toy Story.
I like that you guys didn't do any of the top 15
of those popular characters.
I just got the little, the claw.
The claw.
And then Sass and Hank.
We got Rugrats.
And I went with Chucky, and he did Darth Maul.
Yeah, Rugrats.
Hank was in there for an hour. Rugrats, and I went with Chucky, and he did Darth Maul. Yeah, Rugrats. That's a menace.
Hank was in there for an hour.
Look at his ears.
Show them your ears, dude.
You have headphones on.
You didn't need to get your ears this black.
For an hour.
Puerto Rican artist, I got in there.
She was like, we're over time.
Hank was like, yeah, I was supposed to be Rugrats, but I had a thought last night that
I'm going to put on a suit and be Darth Maul.
His ass was so mad when he found out.
I just didn't know what to do, so I just stuck with the, I didn't want to betray the wheel.
I think Darth Maul made a cameo in Rugrats.
Yeah.
Maybe the movie, Rugrats movie, Rugrats Go to Paris.
That's what we did, didn't it? Weren't we Rugrats the movie? Yeah. Maybe the movie, Rugrats movie. Rugrats go to Paris. That's what we did, didn't we?
Weren't we Rugrats the movie?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I don't know what I would have been.
Rugrats.
Babies.
Or you could have been Stu or...
I think Tommy Pickles has this exact curl.
Angelica.
It was a reptile.
Could have been reptile.
Yeah. You're Darth Maul darth maul yeah i like the darth maul where'd you get the suit from
where is the it's like a crushed cashmere with tuxedo pants oh this is from the black tux
is it the best place to get a suit if you want to get one yeah it looks good hooked it up that's
the thing that i i didn't know that it was planned the day of, and I kind of got some things working.
I asked the Black Tux for a suit.
They got me one, and then today they're like,
you have to be the Rugrats.
And I was like, I think I'm going Maul.
Yeah, yeah.
It's not a bad idea.
It's just such a great pairing, Tommy and Darth Maul.
Especially with your big smile.
Like, your teeth just pop so much.
Yeah, I'm trying to just keep it serious.
Hey, Sas, are you which rug rat?
Chucky.
Penn State, okay.
Chucky, yeah, yeah.
All right, so we're set.
Teams of two, 20 beers.
What are we doing for bathroom breaks?
I like there being a rule on it.
Isn't that more fun?
Or should we just go whenever we want?
Oh, I like the rule.
No, let's go whenever we want. I think I like the rule. No, let's go whenever we want.
I think I like the rule.
What did we do last time?
The rule was every team
has a timeout
and for that timeout
you have one minute
to go to the bathroom.
That's why we did no rule.
Oh, you have two minutes
and everyone else
can keep drinking.
Or no, sorry,
everyone else who stays in here
can keep drinking.
If you leave,
you can't drink for two minutes.
That was the rule.
And then we also have one last thing.
Yeah.
Me?
I'm going to have to leave you hanging.
I'm sorry.
What?
Yeah.
KB's going to hate this.
No!
No, K!
Yeah.
Another?
Another one.
Oh!
You're pregnant?
I'm pregnant.
What?
I know. It's gross. No! It's really bad. Oh! You're pregnant? I'm pregnant. What? I know.
It's gross.
No!
It's really bad.
Girl!
Yeah, I'm pregnant again.
You're pregnant?
I know.
What?
Kate, did you ever think?
Who knew this?
Did you guys know this?
Yeah.
Who knew this?
I think everyone but you.
I didn't want to tell you.
What?
I was afraid to tell you.
Yeah. And this is exactly think everyone but you. I didn't want to tell you. What? I was afraid to tell you. Yeah.
And this is exactly how I envisioned it.
I was going to say.
I can't picture.
This is going to be a great story to tell your future child.
I can't picture a better way to announce it.
So you were going to announce it at some point this week, right?
Like this wasn't cucking it.
No, no.
But I just feel bad.
I'm going to leave you on your own.
What?
Ooh. Unless. You could do it on your own. Unless. Ooh, unless.
You could do it on your own.
When did you know?
How long have you known?
Be honest. I've known for a long time.
Yeah, a long time. Several months
now. What?
Yeah, I've known for a minute.
Heartbroken. He's incensed.
So I do for a while. I forgot. He's incensed. So I knew for a while.
I forgot.
And then Kate, when we decided we were doing a case race, Kate pulled me aside.
She's like, yeah, the pregnant part about drinking.
I was like, yeah, good call.
So I knew my teammate was not going to be able to participate.
I would just hate to get on the wrong side with an alcohol sponsor.
Yes.
It would just be really embarrassing and bad for.
But wait, what about Henny Fridays, Kate?
You drank a quarter of the bottle.
I will say at the Eagles Super Bowl game, I didn't know.
So hopefully everything's okay because I was fucked up.
But thankfully, I was going to leave you hanging because I figured you could do it on your own.
I found someone in the office
with ten times the prowess of drinking than I do.
Oh, people are going to be mad if you got a ringer for me.
I do have a ringer for you.
I hope that's allowed.
I'm going to trade out with them.
Yeah, you're going to be in Chase's spot.
I'm going to be in the booth.
I'm going to go.
I'll see you guys.
I can't wait.
This will be like watching a science experiment.
Congratulations.
Congratulations to Kate. Awesome. Congratulations. Congratulations.
Awesome.
Congratulations to Katie.
Very excited.
And for the record, when we did a Henny Friday, she had a duplicate cup.
Yeah.
A little movie magic.
Yeah.
She was drinking Jack Daniels.
That's why I was shocked.
I honestly didn't know.
Big Cat just told me and KB, and we were both like, wait, what the fuck are you talking about?
You were like, yeah, well, K can't drink.
Yeah.
I forgot.
She told me.
I was like, good point.
You can't drink.
I just found out.
We decided a fair replacement because we didn't want to have it be someone that was like Dana Beers or Nick Mangold.
It's the all-time vibes guy in the office.
It's the one and only Spider
You're horrifying
Spider
I was thinking about it this morning
Because I was like I thought
If I did it by myself people would be pissed
They'd be like oh Kate left Big Cat out to dry
I've known for a while
And then I was like well let's find someone
With comparable Level levels of drinking
and the best vibes guy in the office.
I appreciate it.
It's Spider.
The drinking part might be ambitious.
I'm not sure I can keep up with Kate, but I guess we're going to find out.
That's what a case race is all about, right?
Yeah, so is everyone cool with this?
Absolutely.
That was a fair report.
No one's ever going to not be cool with Spider being added to the mix.
Appreciate that, Rowan.
Good- ass seasoning.
Now, Kate, can you remind us what happened when you were pregnant last time and Kyle saw you?
I walked by the yak because I wasn't on the yak yet,
but I heard through the shut door and through all you guys, someone in the room go,
eww, to my stomach.
I think it's anatomically.
No, no, no, no.
Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
There's a lot of dudes who are actually into
that. Yeah, Cam Bone.
We're like into pregnant, like super pregnant
ladies. Yeah.
Or guys. Buddies.
Yeah.
Why the buddy pregnant?
Yeah, you're just like,
ugh.
Then you apologize.
But it's going to happen.
There's a forced apology.
What makes the reward worth it?
The kid coming out.
Yeah.
Disgusting all the men around you?
There's a lot of negative leading up to it,
and then something beautiful comes out.
I love that.
I think your little one, your little current one,
will be nice to have a little teammate.
I'm so creeped out right now.
So creeped out. If he I'm so creeped out.
Maybe he just keeps talking his way out of it.
It gets way worse.
Your little kiddo is going to have a little teammate, and that's beautiful.
You don't like beer very much.
Did you pregame this?
Yeah, I've been drinking Pig Whitney.
I just had some with him in R.A. at the bar.
They were just posting up, telling stories.
Yeah, he's like, yeah, Glenn Murray's a playmaker.
Jimmy V's flirting with the broads.
That was a Jake.
It's not like when you're off the woofer, but does anyone have Adderall?
He's just saying I couldn't understand most of what he was saying.
Yeah, he was speaking the same language.
He was speed running English.
Yeah.
Beat it.
Yeah.
All right.
Should we do it?
Let's talk about the decorations. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Beat it. Yeah. All right, should we do it? Let's talk about the decorations.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, so who did the decorations?
Me, DJ.
DJ, but who?
A lot of cop balloons.
So I asked Sass and Roan what they wanted for their birthday.
Oh, shit.
Their birthday decorations popped on its own.
Do you have the Roomba for later?
Is something really hot?
It was the force. It was the force he was the i'm sorry
go ahead tj ron said he wanted case race themed decorations so i got him race theme and fire case
themed nice shout out kirk sass said just do whatever so i actually forgot to put some of
the balloons in but spiders bring's bringing them in. Then you've got police steam.
And then a bunch of cheeseburgers.
What goes with police?
This.
Oh, cheeseburgers!
Yeah.
Oh, your favorite video.
That's his favorite video.
Reminds me of that tragedy.
It's his favorite tragedy.
So we've got a lot planned.
We're going to do the case race case race We're gonna play some salad bowl
We have the stinky cloud
And I also
The Roomba came
So the Roomba
With knives on it
Will clean up all these balloons later
Which will probably
We'll probably also do
Random name generators
Oh yes
And maybe some
Maybe a wheel to decide
What kind of food we eat
Yeah
I'm hungry
I'm excited.
I also have mystery high ABV beers from my dad.
Oh, yes.
I'm excited.
Are you guys excited?
I'm pumped.
Thanks so much for the invite, Big Cat.
Yes.
I don't want to get so fucked up responsibly.
You want to say?
Very excited.
Thanks for the invite.
Thanks for the invite.
I guess.
Half-assed.
What was that?
Yikes-assed.
That's your teammate?
That's the guy you chose?
That's the vibes?
Tough energy from a dude dressed like this.
Get him.
Dick to Hank?
Look at it.
He has the best makeup.
Yeah, all of a sudden he doesn't want to be here.
I'm ready to go.
I'm excited.
I'm very excited.
I'm nervous, but that means to me excitement.
Yeah.
Nick also handed out a bunch of swords and knives before we came in.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Yeah, I gave Rone a bunch of throwing cards.
Is he one of those?
Razor sharp playing cards for people to throw at.
It's like a throwing star, but I should just hand it to him.
Smith and Wesson made.
Damn dense.
How much those are on you?
Somebody send them to me.
Oh!
That was awesome.
You just got four?
Four with one?
That's horrifying.
Wait, wait.
Four is the record?
Did you guys not think I was going to do that?
I didn't think that many would pop.
It would work.
Those are sharp as fuck.
All right, KB, here, here, here.
Do it once.
Do it once.
What's the record?
Four?
Four.
Oh, shit.
Just get your lie.
His lie is really straight. Careful. Two. Do it once. What's the record for? Four. What's happening? Oh, shit. Just get your lie. His lie is really straight.
Careful.
Two.
Two.
This is the angle right here.
Go ahead, Roan.
Do one more.
No, Roan's going to save one to throw at me.
Yeah, I need to get...
Go ahead, Hank.
Pass it down to Spider.
Spider's got the lie.
Spider's lie is incredible.
Pop all the balloons before we start.
Oh, not like that. Not sideways. Spider's lie is incredible. Pop all the balloons before we start. Not like that.
Sideways?
Oh, two.
All right, Hank.
Damn, that thing is sharp.
Hank, last one.
Hank, for the record.
Record's four.
Oh!
I think that was four.
I think that was four or five.
I think that was four.
Four.
I thought it was...
You could hear the pops. I think it was four. I thought it was four.
What the fuck, Spider?
I thought about it.
Keep going in.
Keep going in.
Yeah, I thought about it.
Spider, rookies.
No, no, no, no, no.
There are no alliances here.
All right, shall we?
Yeah.
Sass, any last words before...
No, I got nothing to say.
I just don't want to...
You want to leave yourself a little memory?
It's already pouring.
You want to leave yourself a little memory before we start?
I remember everything from all of them, except for
the second one. You do not remember
the last one. Yes, I remember the...
Do you remember what you said to Will?
What you called him? I said, oh, I remember that, yeah.
And I said he won the Game of Life.
Okay. Yeah. A.O.A. didn't make the final cut. Yeah, I know what I called him? I said, oh, I remember that, yeah. And I said he won the Game of Life. Okay.
Yeah.
AOA didn't make the final cut.
Yeah, I know.
I know what I called him.
So you do remember.
Yeah.
I only know that because Greer told me that.
All right, so TJ, you just want to yell out every time?
You know, pour them up and then we'll do a countdown, right?
You want a national anthem or a gentlemen start your engines or what?
No national anthem, but I would do a different one's do the gentleman start yeah i'm mr heatmeister that's the kate it's very very funny that her child will be able to watch back
the moment that she announced that she yeah and then watch the debauchery after that yeah very
i was in the bathroom that's kate yeah i was in be. Yeah, and then watch the debauchery after that. Yeah, I was in the bathroom.
That's Kate.
I was in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror like,
so this is how it's going down, huh?
You can tell now already?
What did the beef say when you told him that you were going to say it on the case race?
He didn't know yet.
Yeah, I haven't told him yet.
He's going to find out.
If you're watching this, surprise.
Gotcha.
Second time.
Gotcha, Goose.
But yeah, no, we're pumped. That's awesome. Love it. I love it. Shout. Second time. Gotcha, Goose. But yeah, no, we're pumped.
That's awesome.
Love it.
I love it.
Shout out to Beef.
He's potent.
He really is.
He really is.
Come on.
What?
Good semen.
I took a big glug already.
It was instinctual, and I spit it right back in.
He did.
False start, though.
I'll take a penalty.
I'll take like a 10-second.
No.
Yeah. We're all pals a 10 second. Yeah.
Also, Sass, Big Cat gave me the idea to drink with a sweatshirt on so I could drink freely.
I gave you that idea.
You guys were both talking about it.
And I just gave credit to both of you.
I didn't hear you.
It was a sweatshirt.
The only orange sweatshirt I had was my failed Cincinnati Bills.
You don't have to worry about your T-shirt getting stuck in your crevices.
As you blow it out, as you get fat as fuck from the ten beers that you drink,
no one has to see.
That's going to get tight.
Be popping buttons.
Yeah.
Yeah, are those tailored pants?
Hey, Spider.
Take the cinches out of your side.
Black talks.
Don't worry about pace.
In the past, I've maybe not been the best teammate to Sass.
I'm not worried about that.
Just don't worry.
All right.
Cheers.
All right, wait.
We've got to just start your engines.
Whoops.
Oh, take the can down.
Take the can down.
Off to a good start.
Team KB and Roan are the rule breakers.
And now, Rice fans, for the most famous words in motorsports,
the star of Universal Pictures movie, I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry,
Kevin James.
I just got three things to say.
God bless our troops.
God bless America.
And, gentlemen,
start your engines!
Alright.
Here we go. Cheers.
Alright, cheers.
You really gotta do it? We're already behind.
One. Oh, shit.
I like to chug my first one.
I like to chug my first one. You got one? I like to chug my first one. I like to chug my first one. You got one?
I like to chug my first one.
Ian Hank got a 10-second delay because he refused to start until our glasses touched.
Remember, we have to keep conversation.
I see.
I'm already carrying.
You are.
How was the first one?
Delicious, but I'm already like, why am I doing this again?
Spider easy.
You guys know when you get a little cold coming and you black out drunk.
You're getting sicker.
No, I'm going to get healthier by the beer.
Yeah.
You know, you get really drunk, you wake up, you're fine.
You sound like a bubble.
You will.
I need to figure out one.
TJ and Zai, you guys got to say yours out loud.
You sound like Chucky Finster.
I know.
I know.
I'm dying. You finished one, Hank?
Did you say it? Blue game.
Hank finished one. One for us.
TJ and Zai, you gotta say it out loud.
I did. That's two for us.
Oh, two? One.
Camera angle's about to be stagnant as hell.
It's gonna be a photo.
Oh.
What do you guys think?
What's up?
Where'd you put it?
The sick boys.
Where'd you put the one, Ron?
I'm going to do...
My fucking belly.
Yeah.
Just so everyone knows, if my phone is out, I'm doing TikToks.
Oh, yeah.
So I'm going...
How are the numbies?
Sick, I think.
You're going to get your milli.
I don't know.
You're trying it for a million followers or a million views?
Both.
A million views will come first.
Jay, did you finish one?
I have one that has...
Two for Nick and Chad.
6,000 views?
What I think is I think you should have whoever's running Barstool Big Cat take it down.
Because I think it's going to fuck with the algorithm if there's two Barstool Big Cats.
Well, it's some random person squatted on my name.
That person I will offer money.
Please stop fucking with me.
I also have my secret weapon, Quigs.
He's going to make a...
He told me he's going to put together a beast.
Me and Hank are at two.
We Mr. Beast DoorDash Man tonight.
Oh, fuck.
Give him eyesight.
Give him LASIK.
Yeah, yeah.
Just hand him your glasses.
Here you go, buddy.
I'll do it.
I'll give him away.
Here you go, pal.
Watch the can, Steven.
Hank and Tass at three.
No, we're going to get there.
We're at two.
No, they're at two.
We're just setting an unfair
expectation on them.
Zahn, TJ, three.
It is a little disrespectful
where the odds on not
favor.
Or the odds.
Put the odds on the paper.
Who made the odds, Steven?
I did.
Huh.
Who was the favorite?
No, me and KB are plus 750.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Oh, you didn't put them in order.
That makes no sense.
It was just in the order that it was.
Spider, we should be like a tag team wrestling.
How much do you weigh?
120.
Nice.
Double you plus a little.
Oh, yeah.
I'm down.
What would my signature move be?
I think I face fuck them
And you tickle their butt
I think you jump in their mouths
Like Neo at the end of the Matrix
Yeah
Bust out
Or you like scuttle all over them
Like a scorpion in
In uh
The mummy
Yeah
You're strong 120 though
Yeah oh yeah
Super strong 120
Like
Super
The strongest 120
Strongest 120 you've ever seen.
Scrappy.
You're not strong.
You're scrappy.
His hands are strong.
You live with Tommy Smokes.
I do, yep.
I see a lot of lanky blondes in and out.
Yeah, pussy.
The tallest girls you've ever seen.
Girls with an in and out span.
Honestly, he fucks a lot.
Tommy fucks often.
Yeah, he fucks a lot.
Get me while I'm drunk, he fucks often.
Tommy be fucking.
Way more than you think.
Hey, and baddies.
Yeah.
Baddies.
Baddies.
Yeah.
Right?
Am I lying, Spider?
Oh, you're right.
You're absolutely right.
There'll be times
like I'll come back
from a trip.
For Spider and me.
Why do you think
I'm moving to Chicago?
I'll just come out
of my room,
go to the bathroom.
To the town.
Some missile walk by me.
Right.
It's like Super
Tallest Girl on Earth.
And Amazon.
Every night? It's about, yeah, Tommy stays piping. walk by me. Right. Like super tallest girl on earth. And Amazon every night.
It's about.
Yeah.
Tommy stays piping.
I'm good for Tom.
He ever had two visitors in
one night.
At the same.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
We should ask him at some
point.
No.
He's super bashful about it
because he always he's got
him on.
He's humble.
No but he's got him on
rotation.
So he's like oh you can't tell everybody that I was just fucking this super hot girl.
I don't even know if he has...
That's the power of Barstool.
Imagine Tommy, not Barstool, probably already have a wife he hates living in Long Island.
Yeah.
Yup.
He's Rizzy, though.
He is Rizzy.
He is.
Plus his swag has elevated immensely recently.
Somebody told him by white forces that he's been a white force himself.
Well said.
Thank you.
No one ever tell him this, but I enjoy Tommy very much.
If you say that, I said that, I'll kill you.
I like hanging out with him outside of the office too, which is my worst bomb ever.
No way.
By far.
Where?
He was there at a club in New York.
So he thinks you suck at comedy.
Yeah, but he saw me again.
He saw me again like months later, I did well.
But he saw my worst bomb, and he was like, dude, that was great.
And I was like, it was silent.
People were yelling out in the crowd.
I think I've told this story.
I made my first joke, and this old-ass lady to the right yells out, tough crowd.
Oh, no. Did that kill no oh then i just sit in that when was that this was like six months
ago probably yeah do you think you would react differently now no it was just like it was uh
i was cold opening for a roast battle they were expecting expecting roasts. Wait, so... And I went out and just did my material.
So, are there still times, like, depending on the room, that you can, not bomb, but,
like, it goes very badly?
Yeah.
That sucks.
Like, I'm much better at, like, I would never have that happen again.
Right, you'd think on your feet.
Right, that's what I'm saying.
Like, you wouldn't let it affect you.
TJ and Saw.
They're not riffing, though. You had five.'t let it affect you. They're not riffing, though.
They're not riffing.
They're not riffing.
They refuse to riff.
Three.
We're losing this for sure.
Yeah, probably.
I'm already like...
Maybe slow down.
Yeah, I'm full.
What'd you say, Hank?
Full.
Four.
We're at four as well.
Four, yep.
Can we build a food wheel?
Yes. Let's all suggest an entree. We're at four as well Can we build a food wheel? Yes
Let's all suggest an entree
Steak
Steaks
For Brandon's birthday
Lomo Saltados
Very nice
Happy birthday Brandon
I'm a wild card you know that
Breakfast
For dinner? For dinner?
For dinner?
Wait.
Hold on.
That's not right.
But it's dinner.
And everybody's invited.
All right, strombolis for mine.
No?
No?
I don't like that.
This is tough to follow breakfast.
Yeah.
We'll do Chinese food.
Oh. That's a good one. Shane Gillis to follow breakfast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll do Chinese food. Oh.
That's a good one.
Shane Gillis.
Philippe.
Oh, say your order.
Someone's watching this right now, just had like a blacked out rage.
I said that word.
Steven.
What the fuck?
I still get comments about that.
Oh, yeah, me too.
You do?
Well, the best part about the case for you is we all get drunk, and then we say things
into a microphone that are regrettable, and then people repeat them to us forever i was telling the story to sass right
before but the case race two i watched the case race one uh for notes and then case race two i
was going to do the same right when i left the office was right when it started but case race
one went three hours so i was like oh i'll have time to get home and then by the time I get home it'll be you know just starting to pick up got home opened up my laptop and like clicked play on the the video
player that had the live feed and it was just Gillis and Che face to face screaming at each
other and I think everything I watched all got cut but I was I've never been more confused in
my life because all the beers were gone and you guys were just screaming at each other.
Oh, you watched on the back end?
Yes.
See if Shane can zoom in.
You want to ask?
Yeah.
Get him.
You think so?
You're tighter with him.
No, no, no.
I'm also just about to throw up my second beer.
Yeah, these are going down.
These are harsh.
They're so cold.
And all the pink Whitney that I have in my belly is also.
Yeah, a lot.
I thought that would be like a welcome base, and instead it's.
Oh, my God.
I just saw that.
But two for us, though.
Oh.
Oh.
Put this picture on the screen.
I just texted you.
I got a burp brewing.
Mike just rigged up the Roomba.
Security guard Mike.
It could hurt someone.
One of those knives looks highly illegal.
That one's not mine.
You know which one I'm talking about though?
Yeah, it's mine.
They're all his.
Oh no.
Those were all in my backpack.
You psycho.
I love the tech. I just texted you. I love the psycho. I love the tech.
I just texted you.
I love the steel.
I love the feel.
What was Case Race 3?
That was Will.
That was 2.
No, Shane was on...
That was one.
Who?
Gillis' Redemption.
That one was fun.
That one was fun.
I laughed at the clip so hard of you, Sass,
trying to get Piano Man
to play. I think that was on the
second one. That was the second one, yeah.
I didn't say, I didn't ask for
Piano Man. I'm not fucking.
That was like editing magic.
I asked for it like three hours
before that, and then they played it. I think that was
when I fell asleep on the shitter.
Yeah. For like 20 minutes.
That was a rough one. That was a pretty brutal one.
Yeah.
That was unwatchable.
We're at three.
I just remember walking home
and people stopping me on the street
and being like...
Look at that.
Holy shit.
Yeah, those are all mine.
I remember getting stopped
on the street after that one
and people being like,
can't wait to watch the case race.
Dude, I'm going home right now
to watch it.
And I was like,
ugh, please don't
while i'm asleep on the pooper is extremely disorienting if you wake up oh dude what the
fuck you've done it jay i was how many times like this my hand right like this and i woke up and i
was still like i hadn't wiped or anything it was bad it. It was a bad seat. Your shit dried. Wait, you guys were late to this?
I was blackout drunk.
I could never fall asleep on the toilet.
Have you ever taken a shit and your legs fall asleep?
Yes.
And you go to stand up and you just like fall over?
That happened to me in the Atlanta airport.
I fell through the door of the bathroom.
My pants half down and everyone in the bathroom saw my penis.
Shut up.
When was this?
Within the last like two years.
I've told the story.
I definitely have told the story.
Tell it again.
The airport was packed and I couldn't even get a seat to sit down.
The Atlanta airport was packed.
I couldn't get a seat to even sit down and just be on my phone.
And I had two hours between the flights.
Went to the bathroom. Sat down. Was on my phone and i had two hours between the flights went to the
bathroom sat down was on my phone for a good 45 minutes and i i stood up and immediately my leg
gave out as my pants were half up to try and wipe my like uh i just wiped my ass so my pants are i'm
pulling my pants up standing up and my leg gives out and i burst
through the door of the bathroom with my fucking pants down like belt tying them around my knees
and my fucking dick out like oh it's like sorry and like it was like rush hour rush hours like
there's like at least 10 to 12 dudes in there who just saw my dick
and just saw me fucking hopping around.
Has anyone tweeted you?
No.
Someone had to have seen that.
You can't have your phone out in the bathroom taking pictures.
No, no, I'm saying someone saw it.
Hey, nice.
Rone.
Even if someone didn't know.
Rone.
Someone didn't know.
Before they see your face.
Son of a boy, Dad. But even if someone didn't know who you were, that's nice. Roan. Even if someone didn't know. Roan. Someone didn't know. Before they see your face. Son of a boy, dad.
But even if someone didn't know who you were, that's a memorable enough thing.
It's memorable.
I mean, none of those guys have forgotten it.
Right.
And they told other people.
Right.
So, like, it could be no stoolies in that bathroom, right?
But they saw it, told their friends, and if you, like, person out, some stoolie has heard this story on the other
end i bet i got that that happened to me what do you mean it happened to me when i was asked this
no no no no no no no i'm not not not falling but like the same thing like someone took a video
no idea who i was five years later they were like holy shit i told the story on the yak and someone
found the video of me at the Patriots parade.
I was blackout drunk.
I tackled one of my friends who went into a bathroom, and I was like, you can slap me as hard as you can in the face in the bathroom as revenge.
And then someone posted the video on the barstool Reddit, and it was me when I was like 16.
My buddy slapped me.
And, dude, it's like a grainy-ass video.
I'm like, I don't know how they – it was a random stranger in Boston. That did happen to Rob. Five. Six buddy slapped me. Dude, it's like a grainy ass video. I don't know how they... It was a random
stranger in Boston. That did happen to Rob.
Five. Six degrees of
still aeration.
That's insane. Isn't that crazy?
Say it again, Hank. Six degrees
of still aeration.
That's why we brought you on, boss man.
I didn't know you were going to say it like that.
I saw the clip.
You L'd me on my hello the other day.
That was tough.
Yeah, that was fucked up.
That was tough watching from afar.
I thought it was a dub hello.
I thought it was a dub hello for sure.
We're sending Clemmer to Minnesota.
What?
Two and a half.
Two men on the street.
We just called him and told him to do it.
Four.
We got the approval from Hank, but we called Hank,
and he picks up the phone and goes, hello.
And Kyle just goes, L.
I didn't see the clip until yesterday.
Oh, no.
That's just like me and Hank have a playful relationship.
Like we could joke around on the phone.
I was on vacation.
You're always on vacation.
Don't get me started, brother.
Every week you post something.
Don't get me started, brother. Moving forward, Your teammate. Every week. You got to fix that. Oh, get me started, brother.
Moving forward, you have to do something about that.
Listen.
We have unlimited vacations.
I only can, you know, I can.
My contract says unlimited vacation.
I do feel bad.
What do you want me to do?
What do you want me to do?
I do feel bad every time.
It does.
And I've never taken one.
Every time Hank comes to work sick as a dog.
That's a mistake.
Every time Hank comes back from vacation, he'll be like,
yeah, I heard what you guys said about me while I was on vacation.
I totally black it out.
I'm like, yeah, you know what?
I probably should stop doing that.
We just bash him.
And then he takes another vacation.
I do the same thing.
Hank could take it so well.
He could take it more than better than anybody at the company, I think.
Yeah, and he's bashing.
And he takes it from people who could.
You can stomp on us if you want.
Yeah, who in this room would you want to fire?
Milton, Massachusetts tough.
If you had to fire one of us.
Has anyone ever been to Milton, Massachusetts?
No one would go to Milton and be like, I'm Milton tough.
It is the most normal town on earth.
That's what I look for.
No one's like, yeah, I'm from fucking, I'm from the streets of Milton.
That office.
My mom is from Milton, so I'm like.
That office, though.
Second generation Milton.
Right.
That office was bad.
Yeah, bad news.
It was.
Troublemakers in there.
I probably went in that office like what?
What did you say?
Like six or seven times?
And every time it was just like, it was so disgusting.
I liked it. I mean, I'm a messy guy, so it was just like, there so disgusting i liked it i mean i'm a messy
guy so it was just like there's no no rules like you can just do whatever you want milton messy
or you're trash on the floor i mean the one of the classic barstool videos is hank when he turned on
the ac in the middle of summer he had an ac unit and he just put it like no no no no there was this
is this is milton someone they replaced the AC unit,
and they didn't get rid of the old one.
They left the old one on the floor.
And then I sat right next to that window,
and I went...
It was like this time of year
when you have to start turning the AC on,
and I plugged it in,
not realizing I plugged in the one on the floor.
And I did that for like weeks.
Yes, he had a huge AC unit sitting next to his desk that was plugged in running.
And Dave was just like, what the fuck are you doing?
Hank, I did the same thing in one of my apartments.
Yeah.
I don't know.
How does AC need the outside air to enter?
Yeah, you don't know that.
Young men don't know that.
They don't teach young men that in schools.
That's not part of the curriculum in schools.
Young men should be learning business and that the AC unit can kill you.
How to change a tire.
Yeah.
Seven.
Seven for T.J. and Zah.
Jesus.
Zah is sweating profusely.
Five for Nick and Jay.
I drink three.
I'm going to say six. Drink three? Yeah.
Hey, what's the most scared you've ever been at Barstool?
Definitely in the Milton days.
I thought I was getting fired for like two years straight.
What was like the one time where you were like, ah.
Didn't you get fired?
And you just kept showing up.
Your print right now is going crazy.
Print?
Yeah.
Eyes on your own paper.
You're the most wandering
eyes.
Hungry eyes. We did a video
with Gronk, a figure skating video,
and I was filming it. The battery
was dying. It was cold in the
ice rink. The battery was dying.
I was like, I think I can finish this.
Someone was doing a performance. I was like, I think I can finish
this before the battery dies.
It died right before it ended.
The camera shut off, so I lost all the footage.
When is this?
When we were in California?
This was the Gronk.
This was worse.
This one ended up not being an issue.
It was the most scared I ever was.
My figure skating routine.
It was Big Cat's figure skating routine.
The camera dies.
I'm like, fuck.
Switch the battery real quick.
By the time I turned the camera back on, it was over.
And then I went to go check the footage, lost everything.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Had to sit on that, and then we went on a trip for a whole weekend.
Who were you afraid of, Big Cat or Dave?
No, not me.
You were afraid of Dave.
This is when I was, like, prime.
I was right.
I had fucked up, like, many times.
And I was like, the next fuck up, I'm probably going to get fired.
So I had to go.
The whole weekend, I had to be like, when should I tell Dave?
When should I tell Dave? Waited till monday thinking that i was just walking
into an execution and i like remember telling him being like i was so scared about it like i was
like this is it i'm fucked it's over i fucked up and he's like do we have another angle i was like
yeah he's like all right it's fine that was the most scared i ever was it wasn't you must have
caught him on a post-pussy night.
Yeah, it ended up not being a problem, but I was.
And then we went.
Four days straight being like, I'm getting fired.
There was one time we were in California where we did the arm wrestling.
And we, like, taped all day for a bunch of different videos.
The women?
Women's arm wrestling.
You beat them.
I won.
Oh, yeah, I won. I won.
Dave didn't.
I won the championship.
You beat some women? You beat the best woman. Yeah, they had us arm wrestle women. I't I won the championship You beat some women
You beat the best woman
Yeah they had us
Arm wrestle women
I beat the best woman
You beat the women
I fucking demolished her too
If you can find it
You beat the fuck out of her
It was a good video
I saw that yeah
And then
We went to like
We did a Rocky remake
In the ocean
All time classic
Yeah and then we went to
Worst video I've ever
In and out
And Hank ran out of battery
and Dave was just berating
him in the In-N-Out. I had to leave the In-N-Out.
I walked out because I was like, this is so awkward.
And then afterwards, Hank and I
were sharing. Oh, man. Here we go.
Such good shape. Damn.
It was kind of, wasn't it like...
Anna Cherry was in the video.
God damn it, I was in such good shape. That guy looks strong.
You were 25.
I was 30, 28.
Whoa.
Come on.
They just let you do this?
Yeah.
They wanted us to do it.
Look at it.
I was like, this is awkward.
You guys weren't, like, very big at the time.
You guys were ahead of your time.
Oh.
Oh, they want. They guys are ahead of your time. Oh! Oh, they want,
they're like,
come out seven.
They're like,
come out and arm wrestle our women.
This one got,
this chick got mad at me,
right, Hank?
She got pissed.
Yeah.
Look at you!
What the hell is she doing with her hands? Still doing CrossFit. What is she doing with her hand?
Still doing CrossFit.
What's she doing with her hand?
She's trying to play for top position.
Yeah.
The rep had to step in.
Play for top position.
Yeah, there's all sorts of...
You're like 50.
Hey, guys.
You were only half the time.
I gave her the throat slash.
I forgot.
What a bitch.
Oh! Classless piece of shit. She's upset. I gave her the throat slash. I forgot. What a bitch.
Classless piece of shit.
This lady screaming at Dave is so funny.
Eight.
Fuck.
Dave said they made him do too many curls before.
Dave. It looks alright.
They got a little body audio.
They got a little body audio on him.
They got a little body audio.
That's probably what cost him his shoulder.
One more round.
That's definitely what threw his shit out.
What's the Rocky video?
Price of content.
If we can pull up the Rocky video i'm gonna break my elbow every time
i had one win in the other match it doesn't feel good there are some videos some old barcelo videos that are just like herbal show got so mad there's a lot of videos that like are so look at it look
at it wait go back yeah wait what fuck was that? Watch her after.
Like DeMar DeRozan's daughter.
Oh, you can't win after that.
Watch her, watch her.
Happy.
Oh, what a bitch.
The immediate handshake.
That was a wild move.
Happy.
Happy.
Happy.
Oh, she's tweeted Barstool with the asterisk in it.
Yeah.
A thousand times. Happy. No, she's tweeted Barstool with the asterisk in it. Yeah. 7,000 times.
Happy?
No, she has lupus now.
You can find the Rocky video.
That's crazy.
What?
Oh, man, she was furious.
Oh, you happy?
So mad at me.
Happy?
That's her life's work.
I didn't want to do this.
They asked us to come out and do this.
And I had to demolish some chicks.
You were a sport about it, too.
Yeah.
So was Dave.
I did do the throat slash.
Yeah, you did.
But you got to do that.
They would have done that if they beat you.
That was also before it became a 15-yard penalty.
Okay, good.
Yeah.
You're fine.
Cat, since we're talking about old Barstool stuff,
what's your favorite piece of Barstool content you've ever done?
Oh, man.
Journalist.
Really good question. We're back at UT Austin. Good question. Really good question. Next thing. The next thing I do. Barstool stuff. What's your favorite piece of Barstool content you've ever done? Journalist.
We're back at UT Austin.
The next thing I do.
Hank, you answer.
I'm always chasing my future self.
Since we're doing journalism, I got one for you, Big Cat.
You said that Milton office was kind of
shitty. What's your
sentiment going to be about this place when you go to Chicago?
Oh, this isn't shitty. I was saying
Milton was
an old dentist's office.
Dentist. It had no windows.
This is an old dentist's office.
There's actually shit everywhere.
This is an old Red Cross.
Spider, I love that
you took your wig off and your hair's painted.
Yeah.
I doubled down. From. So is Big Cat.
From my angle, Big Cat looks so much like Tito Santino.
That was where I thought.
I was like, if you guys just run in slow, that would be slow motion.
This is my solve for slow motion.
Wait, wait.
What is this?
You never saw this?
I may have.
Damn, Big Cat, you used to be in really good shape.
Really good shape.
What happened?
Logging, bro.
That is the best.
They're like,
dude, you look 12 years younger
in this.
Yeah.
I feel like it's
deceptive because
early on you weren't
fat, but you've
always called yourself
fat.
You're not fat now
even, but you've
always called yourself
fat.
Well, Dave kind of did. Even right now, you're not as fat as you were in fat now, even, but you've always called yourself fat. Well, Dave kind of did.
Even right now, you're not as fat as you
were in...
You did a Man on the Street video a while
ago, and you were in that big-ass...
Oh, that picture's the worst
picture ever.
It's like a 5XL.
It's just the angle, though.
It's the pixelation.
No, it's Detroit.
I don't know.
You can put on 20 pounds with the best of them.
Yeah.
I'm Oprah.
You can shed.
You're Al Sharpton.
I can lose it.
Yeah, this one's.
Oh, that's bad.
Yes, that's the worst one.
That's actually a 4XL.
Unit.
How long ago was this?
2015.
And look how much better you look now.
I don't know.
Also the one of you playing beer pong with McLovin.
Oh, yeah.
Is that a fat one?
No, I was in Champagne.
I think we watched it on the act. I think we watched it on a case race.
Yeah.
All right, so Hank, what's the best piece of content we've done?
Because Hank's been, I don't think I've ever done a piece of content without him.
Or like the most fun.
Are we talking recent?
Like what?
I feel like there's even.
Personal favorite.
Of all time.
I'm going to go to Hank.
I thought the first Canada Boys was very, very funny.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was a lot of fun.
I like the LCS championship videos, which one of them isn't even on YouTube, but those
were, those are my personal favorite.
The Met.
Richard's fair was the first one.
I know that's like the very popular one online, but that was the first video that Dave had
no notes.
Like he used to fucking get on my ass about notes and being like, this is a terrible video.
Fix this. This and this. I showed him that video and he was like, this is a terrible video, fix this, this, and this.
I showed him that video, and he was like, this is fine.
No edits, no notes.
I almost got arrested.
Yeah.
Yeah, in real life.
And I used to go to the King Richard's Fair as a kid,
so that was a little sentimental.
Ten years is this year.
Get the can down.
Yeah, the comments have to be ten years, yeah.
Seven for Nick and Jay.
Kid.
I'm not that long.
I thought he was asking for one.
I told KB to put the can down.
He tried to hand me a beer.
He thought you were asking for one.
We have five, by the way, TJ.
We also have five.
Or no, no, no.
Actually, sorry.
This is going to be the fifth one.
This is going to be the fifth.
Nick and Che at seven.
I don't know what the number one moment is.
You've seen Dave in some elements, though. None of us at seven. I don't know what the number one moment is. You've seen Dave
in some elements, though.
None of us have seen.
What is your scariest moment?
What?
When I thought, like,
your, like, career was over?
Dave, when he was
fucked up at Michigan
was a funny one.
Oh, yeah.
Spider's the worst driver
in America.
Yeah, probably.
Owen is a really bad driver.
Owen fell asleep
driving in Detroit.
He's really good at sleeping. He's good at sleeping and driving.
He's a good driver for somebody that's asleep.
The driving days are kind of behind me, though.
Credit to the security staff we have now.
Spider might be the worst.
When Spider started at Barstool, he told me something about renting a car.
He's like, well, I got an ongoing litigation at my old job with a car rental.
I was like, what?
No, but didn't you drive me recently, and it was smooth as hell?
We did like a four-hour job.
It's a working effort.
I mean, I try to get better every time, especially when I'm driving Dave.
He's the first person to make a comment about fucking up, so I try to-
He definitely gets car sick.
He's a car sick.
Spider and Dave's a big car.
Oh, he doesn't put on his seatbelt.
That's why, yeah.
He doesn't put on his seatbelt, and it just beeps the whole time.
Oh, what?
Oh, yeah.
He'll sit in the front seat.
Just buckle it and sit in front of it.
That's that milk.
I'll tell him to do that after a while.
I'll be like, dude, can you just do that?
And he'll do that.
Spider, though, when we were in Minnesota for the Final Four, like 2019,
the famous one was we left the bar to go to the airport.
Oh, fuck.
Don't bring this up.
We left the bar to go to the airport, and he's like,
all right, it's going to be about 35 minutes to the airport.
We drive.
We're driving.
We're navigating through Minnesota.
We're about 20 minutes in.
We're like, all right, we're 15 minutes away.
We've got to catch a flight.
All of a sudden, we look up, and we're right back at the bar.
Literally, the bar we left.
He had just done a big circle.
Easy explanation, Big Cat.
There was detours, you know, traffic.
We're like, hey, wait, we recognize this.
To answer whoever's question it was, the worst move I ever pulled was I was driving Dave solo after some event.
I think we were in Kentucky.
Or Tennessee.
Yeah, I forget where it was.
It was the NASCAR, right?
I went down one way, the wrong way,
in front of a police officer.
And he's like, what are you doing?
You're so hard to look at, man.
This is brutal.
I don't even like looking over there.
You look like a memoir of a gay friend.
Don't get me wrong.
Oh, it's the wheel.
I'm happy to be here, but this is a punishment.
You got done.
What's the eyes?
She did the eyes under us.
Look at my eyes, too.
She kept going with it.
I did this outline.
I was like, do above the beard.
Yeah, the eyes.
She started painting my hair. Kate doesn't look as haunting.
Okay,
Kate just laughed giggling.
What theme are you guys?
Remind us.
The cold miser.
The snow
Mr. Heat miser and Mr. Snow.
Ice miser.
You pull up a picture, TJ?
You guys have definitely seen the claymation, whether you recognize it.
It's a phenomenal movie.
It's so sister.
It's the best Christmas movie.
Spider looks like my Chinese grandfather's corpse.
Let's go.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
How's it on?
That's shot again.
How often do you...
How much do you cook at him?
Oh, it's open casket?
Yeah.
How old did he die at?
What was his age at?
He had to have been like 250.
60s?
60?
What?
Oh, no.
How old were you?
He probably looked 20.
Can we turn that down?
I can't stop looking at that.
It's Mr. White Christmas and Mr. Heat Miser.
You're looking at him white chicks.
Wait, I do look like white chicks.
Wait, Steven.
Let's unpack this.
How old were you?
Young.
How old?
I don't know.
Young.
A couple years.
He was in China.
No, how old were you?
I don't know, five?
Five?
That stuck with you.
Yeah.
Well, if he wasn't in China, where was he?
Yeah.
Canada.
How did he die?
Canada?
A talcum incident?
We're at six, by the way. You guys are crushing me. Therecum incident? We're at six by the way
No fucking way you're at six
What did you say?
We're crushing the joke
Steven someone pointed out to me
That you believe
That I ran a
558 mile
Might cloud Your 4.340 I didn't cloud your 4-3-40.
I didn't run a 4-3.
4-4.
That was my main
point of him
supporting you. He has
bad times in his history.
He can't be
the guy who corroborates your time.
I just go with...
Were you trying to be a good friend?
Oh, he is the best friend.
Or did you believe that he didn't?
They're the best friends.
He is literally the best friend.
If there's something online that's a runner's website and it's documented, then yeah, why would I not believe that?
But I'm saying this has nothing to do with your friendship with him.
It was all data drift.
Correct.
He is the best friend.
He said I didn't cheat a dozen when I was next to him cheating with him.
He said that you ran 558 when he did it.
He's just the best friend.
He was so excited when I did it, too.
He is the best friend because every friend or most friends look for the worst in friends.
He always looks for the best.
Here's the thing.
I never think anyone's lying.
Yeah.
So if it's online at.25, it's.25.
If a guy tells me I ran a 4-4-0, why would I not believe you ran a 4-4-0?
I'm saying that was not a friendship-driven move.
He's right.
He wasn't kidding.
Wait, what do you mean?
You really do look like Andrew Santino. Doesn't he? It's right. He wasn't kidding. Wait, what do you mean? You really do look like Andrew Santino.
Doesn't he?
It's crazy.
What did you say that I can't?
And that is the cheeseburger.
Yeah.
Do like a Chinese accent.
That's what he always does to Bobby Lee.
I'm Bobby Mom.
His special was awesome.
Where'd that come from?
TJ.
I got to stop smiling.
Wait, KB, what were you saying?
You look great Hank I'm more of a boy than Che is
You were doubting him
Che was just saying
Because he believed the data online
Okay
You guys were saying 8
You guys were both right
Outer lane was.25 The outer lane was.25.
The inner lane was.2.
Right.
Is that how that works?
Were you happy with your time?
I was happy.
I'll accept that someone showed me, they Google mapped it, it was.19.
I'll accept that maybe it was like a 7.45 or 7.35.
People that thought you were going to go post-sub-10, what's?
I thought like 9.
Low 10?
I'm apologizing.
10 plus?
Anyone that thought you were going 10 plus is psycho.
10 is insane.
That was, you were like.
That was sass.
That was sass was like, you're not going to do it.
It's like, how could you not?
It was, no, the Ian Barrett's of the world, they're fatter than me,
and they think that I can't do anything.
We're discrediting Mintz.
His 10K run was legitimately good.
I have the utmost respect.
There it is,.19 or.20.
Everything we've done says it's.20.
Yeah.
Everything.
Everything.
Oh, not everything.
Literally.
I agree with you, KB, though.
Mints, I ran that one mile.
I could not run five more miles.
The fact that he finished.
Six miles is a lot of miles.
I mean, you could do it.
You just have to train more and get your body adjusted to it,
as is every single other workout in the world.
You used to do cross country?
Yeah, big time.
Okay.
What do you think you're...
No problem.
Sub 10 easy, yeah.
That's light work.
We all could.
Patriot League me.
We all could.
Patriot Leagues, yeah.
I mean, I used to run marathons.
EJ could.
Don't say well.
No.
I never ran cross country.
Do I look like I ran cross country?
You do.
You 100% do.
You really look like you.
You really do.
You and Vibs.
You just talked about wet hot American summer
the whole time and just laughed with your buddies.
He's got you down to it.
No, Che is on roast mode.
I like it. You didn't?
Get me. Do me. Do me. Oh, I didn't run.
Oh, I swore you would.
I played golf.
I played hockey
through Jav.
What do you think of golf right now?
What?
You golf right now.
If I went to the range three times, I could shoot below 90 easily.
Damn.
Easily?
Wow.
That's sick.
Easily.
I'm like.
I have a guy not to.
It's the best part of your game.
I have my own tires.
I have like a natural.
I have a good swing. Are you a tee to green guy?
My short game
at my peak was really...
What's your weakness?
The only thing I was ever good at was short game.
I think my sophomore year season
I had like six chip-ins.
Shit.
When did you
start golfing?
Probably 7th grade grade, sixth grade.
See, that, I'm like, my dad never, like, I never played golf.
My mom actually used to play golf.
So mad about that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I feel like anyone whose father taught them how to golf at a young age, they're good
no matter what.
Yeah.
But the only person that happened to is Sass, of all of us in here.
Yeah.
I played with Francis over the summer in St. Louis.
Oh, he's a stick.
He's an absolute stick.
My irons are still very solid, but everything else was terrible.
In the good beer games, you can watch Sass play golf.
He's played golf on camera before.
You saw me.
He's nice with his swing.
By terrible, you probably shot like, what, a 96?
Yeah, I 96? Yeah.
I was there, too.
Of course.
My freshman year tryout, I probably shot over 100.
What do you think is more impressive, a hole-in-one or a double eagle?
I don't know.
Good question. I haven't played golf in five years.
My dad never got a hole-in-one, speaking of playing with pops.
Never got a hole-in-one, but he got a double legal, and he always brags to me.
That's a two on a par five?
That's a two on a par five.
That's more impressive.
Statistically harder.
Albatross, but it doesn't slap the same.
I've never got a hole-in-one.
You got a hole-in-one.
It's harder.
I've seen a six-year-old get a hole-in-one.
Two on a par five is pretty impressive.
The six-year-old is from Wheeling.
Is that the Wheeling Oglebay?
Yeah.
Saying I got an albatross.
I used to golf for the par three.
No one knows what that means.
Little figure ready boy.
But I agree with you, Spider.
I think an albatross is better than a hole-in-one.
I don't even know that I agree.
That's just my dad's opinion.
I think reaching the green in two, just alone on a par five is pretty impressive.
There's something to be said about hitting a hole-in-one and then buying everyone drinks.
I don't know.
Maybe that's a bad thing.
Hole in one, then you've got to buy everyone a bunny. You look like the most legit golfer in that picture.
Hank, you want to announce what we got?
My dad took that photo.
I don't know where they got that picture.
Hank, you want to announce what's coming up?
You golf me?
No, no, no.
The other thing.
I don't know what you're talking about.
June?
Oh, the Ryder Cup?
No.
Okay.
Okay.
Because the horse that we had fell through.
What is it?
What is it?
Oh, shit.
We're trying to find another course.
Do we have to delete that?
No, no, no.
Keep it.
No, no.
We just won't say it.
What's it going to be?
Can we guess?
It's called the Ryder Cup.
Ryder?
The Ryder Cup.
We're going to film it
in the summer. It's going to come out
in the fall when the
Ryder Cup comes out.
You just love filming golf.
No, I just like work. I just
work hard. I like to... You like going
on vacation? Yeah, what do you like more? Vacation or
work? I feel so vindicated right now
that everyone's agreeing with me.
No, I just, it's work.
Some people look at it as like you're just going to play golf and fuck off,
but I look at it as just work.
We alternate between mini golf and golf.
There's seasons.
Wait until we get to the Chicago.
I came in third place in the mini golf tournament.
Yes, I can.
And for some reason I was placed 19th on the YouTube video.
What the hell is that?
The one in the Hampton?
What the hell is that?
All the scorecards were thrown away.
I was third.
We were all watching the whole tournament.
We had to watch back every single putt.
And then I didn't even get invited to the Phoenix one.
Oh, you did.
We all did together.
We watched every single stroke.
We had a re-key score.
Why did Sass get screwed like that?
There was a moment where, because we were, we said, hey, do we have the scorecards?
And someone said, no, we threw them all away.
10 T.J.s off.
So we had to just go back and watch all of the shots.
And then during the edit, I was like, well, this is not going to be right.
So let's – we basically just –
It never occurred to you that it doesn't matter?
No, no.
They said it doesn't matter at all.
It's a bigger draw.
We got to that point.
I was like, well, this is not going to be correct, so let's just kind of make up what happens.
We know who won.
That's all that matters.
The rest doesn't matter.
Yeah, it matters.
It mattered when I came in third and they're taking a photo of the top three guys.
I'm not even in the photo.
They should have had you out in Arizona.
And they had the fucking, they had the,
Spider was holding the big thing with all the names on it,
and Kirk was up there.
Kirk came in, like, fifth place.
I came in third.
He did redeem himself, though, in Arizona.
Yeah, I know.
I know, Kirk's an amazing player.
Impressive, impressive performance. I mean, that's an amazing player. Impressive, impressive performance.
I mean, that was an impressive performance.
He's a hell of a player.
I know.
He's an amazing player.
I didn't get my – I did not get my flowers.
I came in third place.
Not at all.
I thought you were one of the worst.
He is the legend.
Break me if I'm wrong.
Did you not miss the initial cut?
No, I played really bad the first round.
The third round, I think I actually had the lowest score out of everybody.
7-8 from us.
No, the first round I played bad, but I didn't play bad enough.
10 for us.
To miss the cut.
Yeah.
How are you feeling, Spider?
7 for us.
What?
7-8 for us.
Oh, I'm fired up now.
Carbonation inside you.
What does that mean, 7-8?
Spider, you're about to
I got 7
KB is 8
So I don't have to piss
I have to piss
So bad
Unfortunately
Let's do this wheel though
Let's do this food wheel
Before we
Food wheel yeah
This is
It's lower stakes
Let's just ditch the piss rule
Unfortunately
Let's all just go piss
Yeah I'm gonna piss
We're never doing
Mini golf card 10 again
Never
I don't think so
The last one was great.
Why aren't we doing it again?
We'll do it later.
I don't want to.
I'm waiting for you.
No, you were funny as fuck, Nick.
You're cursed by having the most hilarious performance.
It's like 50-50.
Nick, is it true you're in PGA?
I'm trying to get along with Cam.
Yeah, I've been there.
All I know is I came in third place and I didn't get invited to Phoenix.
Why isn't that trash?
You didn't.
You were excluded from Phoenix.
Well, it's just people, you know, we were just having people on the show.
I didn't.
I boycotted the Super Bowl.
I didn't even watch the Super Bowl.
Yeah, no, it was just the yak and mini golf.
Two things that I've never been a part of.
It's all right, though.
Me and Francis had a show at the stand, so.
I got to pee bad. Once I get a burp out
It's like reset
You wanna call time out?
No
I thought we ditched it
No we're keeping it
But I'm not calling it
Well I got a couple
I got a little bit
I got like 10 minutes
Left in this
If I call time out
Will you use your time out
When I tell you?
How the hell did that
Just happen?
Goliath?
Sass if I call time out Will you use your time out When I tell you? How the hell did that just happen? Sass, if I call timeout, will you use your timeout when I ask you to?
We've got to take more outs.
What is this going on?
All right, timeout.
Mike just put a piss.
Collusion?
Mark Cuban shit.
I'm going to stay in the room and drink.
I'm going to stay.
I'm going to stay.
Fuck it.
Just in case I want it to be seen.
Thanks, Spider.
I'll work on this here.
All right, boys.
We're doing all right, Jay.
I feel good.
We're all right.
It's just the three of us.
This is Yakagami, me, Spider, and Jay.
Started that.
I'm saying this because he's not in the room.
Hank is like one of my favorite dudes.
Really?
Yeah.
What do you like about him?
He's just like down for anything.
He's really funny.
He's very smart and creative.
I mean, how committed is he tonight?
I spray painted his hair to the point where it was dripping off like fucking blood.
And he didn't need to do that.
He just texted me two nights ago.
He's like, what if I did Darth Maul full on?
I guess.
Yeah, sure.
He's like, do we have a Darth Maul lightsaber?
He's such easygoing, good vibes.
I think he's way funny. Yes. Yeah, you guys painted me as that guy. He's like, do we have a Darth Maul lightsaber? He's such easygoing, good vibes. I think he's way funnier.
Yes.
Yeah, you guys painted me as that guy.
It's really Hank.
Well, I mean, you guys both are.
I would never say that in front of him.
Also, I just burped.
So, like, reset.
I'm back.
Yeah, you're Liddy again.
But, yeah, Hank, he's goaded.
He's just very calm, good vibes.
No matter where you're at, he's down for whatever.
Can you say that thing about him or no?
Huh? What?
That thing we talked about the other day about him. Can we say that or no?
What the fuck are you talking about, Che?
No, no, I'm good. I burped, so...
I don't know what it is.
How are you, TJ?
I actually kind of got a piss, though.
Kate, how are you feeling?
I feel great. I feel wonderful, and it's been fun watching you guys.
If I puke, it will be on camera. I already promised that to TJ.
The vibes are really good in there.
Kate, you're glowing.
Thank you.
I feel so bright.
But the vibes are just really good.
You guys are on a good track right now.
I don't want to jinx it, but good track.
Zaha, I will say, is struggling in here.
He has sweat the entire horse off his face.
And he keeps doing exercises.
He is so full of gas right now that he's dying.
So they're like ahead, but I would tell the rest of you he's about to hit a wall maybe.
No, I'll be fine.
Whenever I drank in there, Zah is a very good drinker.
Yes.
So is TJ.
Oh, TJ.
TJ's the GOAT.
I honestly don't know what's going on today.
He's a tit-a-tie, bro.
TJ puts it down.
I'm disappointed in myself. Zah is the GOAT. I don't know if you don't know what's going on today. He's a tit-a-tie-ank, bro. TJ puts it down. I'm disappointed in myself.
Zah is drinking more than me.
Very disappointed in myself today.
Zah, what do you do back there, man?
What do I do back here?
The sound, bro.
I make sure you sound good.
They're hitting so many buttons that it's impressive.
Explain some of the duties, though, so the people can understand.
It's that.
We'll keep it above board.
I'm trying to keep my job.
You tell people too much, man, you can use your job good.
They start learning it, right.
They outsource it. You got a robot
doing that shit. Are you still approving people's
time off? No.
Not my barstool no more, man.
I think that ended a while ago.
That was the greatest error.
That's so funny.
Shout out to Caleb.
Did you remember that on this show?
I mean, that was like
pretty old. That was like EAC.
No, that was old office. Yeah, that was EAC.
We talked about it. Yeah, actually, yeah.
Because Caleb kept on having
a message you asking for time off.
Bro, he was the greatest. So I never had to worry about
Caleb. I knew exactly where he was.
Dave would ask me where all the motherfuckers are,
and I'm like, oh, fuck, I had to figure it out.
But Caleb would, yeah, he would log in.
He probably didn't even have to.
I don't think he actually likes me,
but I actually really miss Caleb.
I like Caleb.
Why wouldn't he like you?
He definitely doesn't like me.
He doesn't like me.
They have an early...
Caleb was in Nashville, right?
Yeah.
Not anymore.
Oh, he moved?
He moved again.
Florida. He was in Nashville, right? He was back like Caleb a lot. Oh, he moved? He moved again.
He was in Nashville, right?
He's back in Florida?
Oh, yes.
I think so.
No, he definitely doesn't like you.
That's okay.
Like I said, maybe I'll link up with Caleb. You don't have haters, you don't have fans.
That doesn't bother me.
I like Caleb.
I know it doesn't.
Yeah.
Two sold out shows, one still on sale.
But the tickets are going fast.
They're going fast.
We have five tickets are creeping in. How many are we at? Whenever people say tickets are going fast. We've going fast. We have five. The tickets are creeping in.
How many are we at?
Whenever people say
tickets are going fast.
We've got a last supper situation.
Maybe six.
I don't know why we added a third show.
The two shows sold out.
I was happy doing that
because they're like,
we really think it's a good idea
to add a third show.
You got an extra nut from that though?
Yeah, yeah, he does.
When you sell five tickets, no.
No, he does. Another hour of time tickets, no. No, he does.
Another hour of time on school.
Show Hank your wallet.
Is it fat?
It's fat.
It's like $5.
I thought before it was really fat.
I was with Francis in Chicago, and I watched him pick up an envelope of cash,
and I was like, that's fucking cool.
He got cash?
The show ended, and they walked up, and he got cash.
Yeah, yeah.
I was like, that's...
I don't get cash.
He obviously didn't have people throw tomatoes in got me. Yeah, yeah. I was like, that's... I don't get cash. You obviously didn't have people throw tomatoes in a...
Yeah, yeah, tomato gate.
When we were driving down to the Super Bowl,
you had, like, a live appearance at...
Oh, yeah, that was another one, yeah.
At the bar.
Asheville, yeah, yeah.
But you just paid us all out cash.
It was like so...
Like, we would have gone to this thing anyway.
And it was just like, well, you're just so generous with money.
You're just always paying people out.
But you would have...
You're just like... I think Kate was there, too. Like, we all just got, like... Yeah, Kate with money. You're just always paying people out. But you just like...
I think Kate was there, too.
Yeah, Kate was there.
We all got paid out.
I was there.
Wait a second.
He was just giving out envelopes.
Your uterus and that belly and that shit.
I gave you cash.
You definitely got cash, Hank.
Yeah, I gave everyone cash.
Because they gave me like 10K and i was i ripped off like a a ban for everyone that was
when i gave uh the speech in the uh remembering like the lounge ups like the upstairs lounge for
like the there's like a preferred lounge of the hotel or something like that and i like silenced
everybody yes and this was this you and hank and i and i like i was like what a prosperous year
we've all yeah no i definitely gave you because i I remember they were like, hey, you want to do a party?
We just opened this bar.
Ron and I are at eight.
And I was like, all right.
And they're like, 10K.
And then I just gave everyone $1,000.
I think I took home $5,000.
And then that was Larry, the bus driver.
I got so high that I went down to the lobby.
Oh, that guy was a trip.
Yeah.
After, we were about to go to dinner,
and Larry came up to us.
He's like, where are we eating dinner?
And I was like, I can't handle this,
and went right back to my room.
I remember hearing a lot about Larry the bus driver.
You know about him?
Yeah, oh, he was brought to my attention, we'll say.
He was a guy who would have a sweatsuit and a rock-hard dick.
He thought he was part of the band.
And we turned him in, and we gave him some publicity.
We were like, oh, we love Larry.
And then he took that and was like.
Dude, he started showing up to other Barstool events afterwards.
I was at a NASCAR event in Florida, and he showed up.
And then he started posting nude photos in the bathtub with his wife.
Yes.
And he was like 80 years old.
And I was like, and he was like, tag us all.
I forgot all the.
Bus driver.
That trip, he was the man.
And then.
Yeah, it escalated.
Then it just really went south.
Sounds like you guys are in the wrong here.
You guys are like, yeah, he was the man.
And then he started posting nude photos.
And he started sending angry DMs.
And we were all like.
It's our fault.
It's our fault.
I will say this.
Every other bus driver I booked from that company has been pretty much like either a marine like a fucking veteran like some sort of like reggie yeah reggie
and uh yeah and this dude just came out of left field and i remember and i it was our fault though
i had we had him it was right after larry the goldfish died so we're like oh larry larry
and then we had him on pmt like the first day we were in.
We were driving to Atlanta.
We're in Philly and we had him on the show.
And people at the bars along the way, people at the bars along the way were like cheering
his name.
And he was like, this is the greatest ever.
And so then I think he thought he like had an in.
And then like two months later, I'm getting DMs like you abandoned me, you bitch.
I'm like, oh my God.
He called you a bitch
oh I remember
your two kids your parents called you a bitch
I can verify cause Kate texted me
like what should I do
about this
this bus driver is really mad at me
Kate can the yak name your baby
yeah do a name wheel
we'll do a wheel
speaking of don't forget your food, don't forget your food wheel.
Don't forget your food wheel.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Thank you, Kate.
Kate's our memory.
Who hasn't?
Wait, who was?
I don't really get this Zendaya hype.
Who was on the bus with us?
Oh.
Yeah, yeah, me neither.
I do.
Do it for me.
Physically.
Sydney Sweeney, I get.
Yeah, because you need a body.
I don't get her face.
She has Down syndrome.
A little bit.
A little bit.
But she's still very hot.
Did you see the video of Sidney Sweeney talking to those soccer players?
Was she talking dirty to them?
I had to throw my phone away.
How was she talking to them?
Was she being sexy?
She was to make you jealous?
She was like stretching out
and I was like,
I can't watch this anymore.
Why couldn't you go jerk off?
Yeah, you got too hard.
I didn't do that.
Did it make you jealous?
He jerked off a lot.
No, I know.
Did you get jealous
watching her talk to soccer players?
She's top two.
Top two?
Who's one?
Yeah, you know what I'm talking about?
And I am.
You've seen this video?
Oh, yeah.
TJ, pull up the video. I consume a lot of Sid video? Oh, yeah. TJ, pull up the video.
I consume a lot of Sidney Sweeney content.
TJ, pull up the video.
It's a classic.
Go off, big cat.
I just scratched my face.
11.
My face pan off.
Idiots.
Who came back when we were on that bus?
From where to where?
It was from New York to Atlanta.
It was me, Hank, Roan, Kate, PFT.
And we were.
Was Tip on there?
We got insanely high while on the bus.
Robin Porter.
Spongebob.
And they're like, can you guys like, like we were hot boxing the bus.
While Larry was driving? They came back, yeah, and they were
like, well, he had a door that he closed
and we were in, like, the second
compartment. Yeah, yeah. And then Rob
and Porter were like, can you guys please, like,
there's too much smoke.
Who's Rob? You smoked them out?
And Porter, remember Rob?
Those guys both seemed like,
Rob and Porter, not to
air them out, but they both seemed like guys that would maybe have smoked.
No, we smoked so much weed and we're just watching Spongebob episodes for four hours.
Remember when Spongebob memes were?
You were laughing at Patrick.
You had to be really high to smoke out Rob and Porter.
Holy shit.
I remember being like, I remember like trying to fall asleep and being like, you know when
you're too high to fall asleep?
Oh, dude, it's the worst.
You're like, I can't.
What am I going to do? You start seeing? Oh, dude, it's the worst. You're like, I can't. What am I going to do?
You start seeing like Mayan triangles.
It's the worst. Remember the cave paintings
in your... I was ever in a hot box
car. 12 Channing.
Back when I was not smoking weed
because my parents would get furious about
it. And I was in this hot box
car, but I was with all these older... I was like me
and my buddies and these two older girls.
And I didn't know what to say. And I just like me and my buddies and these like two older girls. Let's go, Hank.
I didn't know what to say.
And I just took the L and I got in a ton of trouble.
What was the rest like with the girls though?
Nasty story.
What'd you say to the girls though?
Nasty story.
I said, this is cool as hell.
Your guys' butts and pussies are probably sweet.
Yeah, your guys' pussies must be high
You guys have sweet titties
Last time I drank for a case race
Was right after the monster rip incident
Oh monster rip
That was a bad idea
What happened TJ the last time you
The last time I drank for a case race
Was 24 hours after the monster rip incident
The monster rip destroyed me
I had my worst yak.
What was the Monster Rip?
TJ's puked the most on this show.
By far.
Twice.
I puked like four times in that show.
That one day.
Quantity.
I realized something after Monster Rip,
so I was in there obviously cutting clips.
TJ throws up.
It's towards the end of the show.
I motion to you, end it, end the show.
I didn't want that on camera.
It was a bad scene.
Someone ODing on me.
Sharpshot Select, I believe is his name, was downstairs.
College basketball dude?
Yeah, Coleman.
So he was downstairs waiting outside.
That was years ago.
That was like about a year ago.
Not even.
Coleman?
About a week ago.
Coleman was here?
Two months ago. Yeah, that was college basketball. Feels like a long time ago. Not even. Coleman? About a week ago. Coleman was here? Two months ago.
Yeah, that was college basketball.
Feels like a long time ago.
Yeah, maybe.
It was college basketball season.
That was maybe less than two months.
So I ran out.
Last case was.
And I didn't know what made the Yak.
I didn't know if the show ended or not because I think I ran out to get TJ something.
And I saw him.
I think we're at 10.
There's no way we're at 8.
And we were live, and he goes,
did TJ just throw up?
And I thought the show had cut.
So I gave him a very weird look and was like, no.
And so he came to the show, actually,
and he goes, yeah.
He's like, I met you before.
He's like, you were actually kind of a dick to me.
It was kind of funny.
And I go, what?
Like, no way.
I was like, what happened?
And so I didn't put it together.
I've never been more confused than I am right now.
No, I'm glad.
This is the most confusing story.
Come on, bro.
It's fully helping out my story.
Your story was terrible.
This Coleman was like 20 months ago.
He said you were a dick to him?
DJ was like six months ago this summer.
Okay.
I didn't put it together, but then he DM'd me later,
and I realized that it was that day and that he was that guy.
I didn't realize that he was that guy when he came in person.
He was like, yeah.
He's like, I met you before.
You're actually kind of addicted.
Oh, so he had been here before?
He was waiting outside on the day that TJ did Monster Rip,
and I was trying to deny TJ his bar because I didn't know if it was on a camera
or not.
I remember just seeing TJ looking like a ghost.
The biggest disaster maybe.
Oh my god. I walked
in the booth and I was like, TJ, you good?
He literally looked like a
Casper the Ghost. He was just like, yeah, I'm good.
I tried to override you and end the show.
If Rone was that high and Rone is the guy
that smokes more weed than I do.
Yeah, I'm a weed smoker.
You're a weedaholic.
I smoke weed every day.
I'm addicted to weed.
I think the top three weed smokers are in this room.
Totally.
Who?
Me, KB, and fucking you.
I was in the shadow.
What do you mean, Hank?
What do you mean?
Oh, Spider?
Spidey.
Spidey.
Spidey.
Who ranked the top weed smokers in the office?
Well, the one is Gilly.
Oh, one is Bibbs.
Gilly is prolific.
Oh, Gilly is crazy.
Gilly is prolific.
What about Troops?
Gilly does Troops.
I believe Gilly does.
I think I'm top five easily.
And he's a backwards smoker.
He smoked me out of the fucking...
Like, I couldn't even stand up.
He'll smoke you under the table.
Is my microphone on?
Yes.
Okay.
You have a basketball player.
Doing a great job, Seth.
I've been speaking.
I just feel like it's not on.
It is.
I'm getting insecure.
Seth, Seth, I hear you, brother.
Loud and clear.
I hear you, my brother.
I can't unsee Andrew Santino to my right.
Wait.
How do you look like?
I was looking through my phone.
Right?
I was looking through my photos the other day.
The second you said it, it's like all I can see.
A lot.
A lot.
It's a lot.
It's all I can see.
I barely know the guy.
I only see him on thumbnails.
It's got to be the red hair.
I was deleting photos off of my phone to make space the other day,
and there was a photo of Che from the L.A. Super Bowl.
I don't know if I ever sent it to you, but you came up to me.
You were like, Nick, you have to take this photo of me and my exact lookalike.
And it was with a guy that looked nothing like you.
It's on my phone.
I just sent it to TJ.
Nick, somehow you got sicker and hotter at the same time.
You got sicker and hotter.
Was the guy even Asian?
No, he was Hispanic.
Che came up to me and was like, you have to take a picture
of me and this guy.
Who is the guy from the movie?
I know that guy.
I ran him for a band in dice.
He was like, you look exactly like
these are the guys in your room.
That was the guy in your room?
Ran him up for a ban in Dice.
Yeah, scammed his ass.
Dude, we were having the best moment outside.
His chin was touching his sternum.
I was making him balk.
Like a chicken, dude.
I beat his ass again.
I'll never forget.
It was like everyone that went to LA.
What a great moment.
Outside by the pool, and then KB rolls back with a squad.
Doesn't say hi to anyone.
Just goes straight to his room.
KB in L.A. was.
Like seven dudes.
It was Tony Yeo.
Did not leave that room for hours.
Dude, you in L.A. was like funniest.
He had his competition lined up.
14, 15.
You showed up.
15.
Oh, God damn it.
You showed up to that show, Blackout Drunk, was the hardest I've probably ever laughed.
Yeah, I needed that.
Just being aggro at everyone.
I'm such a hater.
Tan was so fucking fast.
Chaz Grisham, that call was so funny.
I forgot about that.
That was at like 10 a.m.
Yeah.
The only time any of us saw you is when we were doing the live show.
Yeah.
Except for when he was giving that bartender righteous.
We shouldn't end this until the second place team gets over 20.
You're right.
Because they're dusting us. They're killing us.
They're dusting us in there.
So we're all playing for second place.
What does that 15 split look like, TJ?
I don't know, bro.
7-8?
I don't do stats.
They're both crushing it back here.
They're both pretty evenly going.
How wet is Zah?
I'm on 7.
Zah is soaking.
Soaking?
Soaking.
Literally no face paint.
Zah sweat through his makeup.
Oh, you sweat the face paint off?
It's like completely gone.
You sweat the horse off.
Two beers in hours.
You were taking a piss.
Kate was saying like, Zah is sweating so much.
He's like Shaq in the national anthem.
Zah's a notorious sweater.
Can you find a video of Shaq sweating?
Shaq would sweat so much before the game even started.
Big Cat, I sweat more than any man on this planet.
Zah travels with the towel
Do you not 13 you can check that for us teaching man that goes well prepared. We're 12
That's a way to move to travel with their policy. You didn't piss a lot time out didn't know go let's go
Me and KB are crushing it island. Oh, my God.
Jay, what the hell is going on?
What is going on?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
No, no.
Jay's down tremendous.
Jay, you have to throw up in here.
On camera.
What was that?
What was that, Chad?
On camera, there's a trash can right at your 12 o'clock.
I stood up too fast.
I stood up too fast.
On towel.
On towel.
On towel.
He's sitting back down.
Oh, no.
He sat back down. I'd never seen this. It might be down tremendous. Oh, no. He sat back down.
I've never seen this.
It might be down tremendous.
Che, how many beers are you at?
Posure, Che.
I guess seven.
Seven?
How many beers are you at?
I don't know.
Okay.
We're 13th.
I think I've had like four.
That's a good amount.
I stood up way too fast.
I mean, you guys are doing this really quickly too
It has not been that long
It's been like 30 minutes
Kate do you miss boozing?
Yeah
An hour and a half
Yes I do
Crazy
How many months are you in?
About three
I'm hitting second trimester
So we're about to see
Crazy
So Kate is he kicking?
Or is it a she?
No.
I'm finding out at the end of this week.
Really?
Can we do the gender reveal on the show?
Sure.
Why not?
So, Kate, when was he conceived?
Do tell.
Yeah.
You have to spill.
You do have to spill.
Let's start with conception.
It's a pat sure didn't spill. You do have to spill. Let's start with Conception. It's because Pat sure didn't spill.
Pate spilled.
We're waiting.
Tell us everything.
Anyway, don't forget your food wheel.
Don't forget your food wheel.
Kate, I'm not hungry anymore.
I don't lost my appetite. Add cream pies your food wheel. Kate, I'm not hungry anymore. I don't lost my appetite.
Add cream pies to the wheel.
Oh, Kate.
We got to get Francis in here.
Get him in here.
Francis!
Francis!
Oh, Francis!
Those are good-ass headphones.
Those are good-ass headphones.
Hey, guys, did you want me?
Did you want me to come here, guys?
I didn't know you wanted me when I walked through the master glass.
Hey, can I say something on your behalf?
Sure.
I'm going to say something on Kate's behalf.
You are going to be happy.
You're going to piss people off.
Sass has taught me to not read the comments.
I don't think I have, brother.
I was reading them all night.
Sass.
The one dude...
I haven't read them, and I read them.
Oh, I know you have.
The one dude who keeps commenting
that Kate sucks on the act,
you can go fuck yourself, bro.
Kate's on the act.
There ain't no fucking way to do that.
I love Kate on the act.
Go fuck yourself.
I will fucking run a mile
in your fucking face and
make you show your fat ass.
You are a loser,
a piece of shit, and I hope you get hit
by a bus. That guy's got to rebrand
a spider doesn't belong. It's one
guy. It's one guy. Listen, we all
have off shows. There'll be times
when people hate on all of us,
but there's one guy who just hates on Kate for no reason every single show.
That guy, I hope he dies in a fire.
What's his name?
I don't know his name, but I hope he dies in a fucking fire,
and I hope his whole fucking family dies in a fire.
I'll say it right now.
What do you have to add?
I have people that are like, why is Kate always cold?
Why does Kate always eat on the show?
She's pregnant, so you're an asshole.
Yeah, but random comments are fine.
And all the comments about sass, too.
Listen, listen.
We all have off shows.
There's random comments that are like, oh, off show, off show, whatever.
There's one guy.
I hope your whole family dies in a fire.
I will say he got so in my head that that's why I got pregnant
because I knew once I got pregnant you guys couldn't get rid of me.
Not a bad thing.
Legally, we couldn't get rid of you.
Right, so I'm good for at least a year now.
Don't let that guy get in your head.
He should die in a fire.
Francis, what's up, bro?
We just need a little bit of you, Francis.
Hey, guys.
Thought so.
You can say that.
Put in the late night grind.
I have a show at 8, so I just didn't have anywhere else to go.
Where you at?
That's a stand.
Fuck yeah.
Francis has me muted on Twitter.
That's not true.
How would I ever do that?
You do, Francis?
How many coworkers do you have muted?
I have three.
I have almost every single one. You have muted? I have three. I have
almost every single one.
You have one co-worker?
I'm just curious. I have three and one
former. There's definitely a lot of muting
going on. Dude, I have probably
upwards of 60. Are we spilling
or are we just going to say numbers? I don't have any.
Full disclosure. I need names.
I fucking love KP.
He's a shitster. I need names.
No, you got to.
I get it because it's still something.
You guys give me a name, I'll give you two.
Give me one name, I'll give you two.
I have Frank and Mitzi muted on Twitter.
Oh, no.
Frank and Mitzi are good followers.
I had Bailey muted on Twitter.
Oh, I actually have Mitch.
I think I have Frank and Bailey.
Frank should talk Rutgers one time.
Hey.
I have to go in five minutes.
All right, I'm going to read some names off.
Yeah, I think.
Yeah, yeah.
Satisfaction.
Yeah.
Leave them all because I feel like I know five of them.
Hey, beer down.
Beer down.
Say the five that we all know and then 14 for a chain.
Listen, I'm a rookie.
What are the rules for that?
What happens?
Anything?
Spill.
You want top one?
Yeah.
We know the five.
What?
Who?
Barstool Sports.
Sorry.
Barstool Sports muted?
Oh, they've been assed lately.
Let's see.
Whatever happened, the Yak was supposed to get one page.
Oh, I have Frank each tweet a week.
Yeah, we did sign a rule.
Who else?
Who'd you just say?
Frank.
16.
Fuck.
Dude, it's literally every single person that lives.
Francis has me muted, and I don't know why you would think that.
Well, he texted me last night.
Why do you think that, Big Cat?
Okay, I'll tell you why.
He tweeted last night asking for the Delta CEO's number or email,
and he was like, why is everyone tagging you?
Are you
family with the Delta CEO?
And I was like, no. I have an ongoing
bit about any blue check mark
that tweets about airlines that I'd
say that I'll school fuck them.
Yeah, we've all known that.
Except Francis.
He didn't see it.
He has me muted.
It's fine, Francis. I love you still.
But you have me muted.
Let's look.
Let's look.
No, I'd be really surprised.
Back to the Bible he goes.
All right, no fucking around here.
It was funny that everyone tagged me.
But, uh.
Francis, brick watch on left wrist.
All right, he's showing it right now.
That's a good watch.
And, yup, I'm muted just like I thought.
Where?
I'm muted.
France, show me how you say that that's not a good business move.
I get what you're doing.
It's stupid as fuck.
Hey, B.
Did I actually mute?
You just muted it.
You just muted it.
I watched you mute it.
I guess Francis won't be breathing tonight.
You just did that.
I would never mute. I did just do't be breathing tonight. You just did that. You just did that. I would never mute.
I did just do that.
Big cat.
It's like you're missing out on the company.
Francis, do you have any coworkers muted?
Yeah, I do.
Dude, I legitimately, every single person is not in this room.
Yeah, I do.
Who else has me muted?
Literally name someone.
Anyone in the room muted?
Anyone that's not in this room?
Anyone in the room muted? Everyone else, everyone in this room? Anyone in the room muted?
Everyone else aside from this room is muted.
Wait, what about?
What?
Yes.
Because, dude, my page is too much sports.
What about Feidelberg?
No, Feidelberg's not muted.
Okay.
What about Kate Zahn?
Out of order.
What about Kate Zahn and TJ?
Oh, I said that room, too.
All these rooms.
What about?
Did you get the email from that guy?
I was going to say, I feel like I'm muted.
What about Pat?
Pat.
No, I don't think Pat's muted.
He's going to say...
Is there any coworkers you don't follow?
I actually weirdly don't think I follow Jerry.
Oh, you're missing out, dude.
But I see all...
Did you see a video of him, of his son handing him his vape yesterday?
I didn't see it, yeah. I don't think I of him, of his son handing him his vape yesterday? I didn't see it.
Yeah, I don't think I followed.
That was Jerry's great follow.
Jerry's the tweeter of like 2023.
Did you play that video?
22.
Wait, did you see his?
He's like, he's the new come up guy.
Did you see his fish meal today?
No.
He had a fish meal.
I love Jerry's.
He was like eating the fish I caught.
It was just the tail.
And everyone was like, where's the front half of the fish?
And he responded, I crushed it.
TJ and Zal were at 11.
Such an enabler.
It's a little bit.
One of those common projects.
Hank, what's the most disrespect that you've felt from an employee in the modern Barstool era at New York?
Because you have a high role, but I feel like people
will maybe give you some guff or don't
treat you like they should. Yeah, I mean, probably
last week when Gia stole my watch.
Oh, yeah. What was her
excuse?
She thought that
no one wanted it
because it was left where it was left.
Where was it left? Which was the day that everyone watches it.
Your brick?
Your bricky?
I just helped Francis out.
Security camera footage was...
Oh, yeah.
I almost feel like it plays for her better.
Skull fucked.
Oh, yeah.
I like Gia.
I'm nothing against Gia, but that was a wild move on her part.
There's nothing you can really say.
But it wasn't you that she disrespected.
I guess not.
Yeah, no.
I don't know.
I've never really felt disrespected.
I don't hold myself to a high enough standard to feel disrespected.
What's he doing?
He's in Columbia right now because his girlfriend's from Columbia.
Where?
Oh.
If he had told me about this tweet, I would have been like, dude, don't do that.
More?
More?
But he's in Columbia,
so it's international waters.
Well, I also think,
I also think,
It's not just a girlfriend.
It's a kid's mom.
The big question for this video
is whether or not Jerry
is a Trailer Park Boys fan
because he tweeted,
Jerry smokes, let's go.
No, he's not.
He just talks like that.
Like, in Trailer Park Boys,
they go, you know,
Corey Trevor smokes, let's go.
Yeah.
And they give him cigarettes, and that's, like, the joke.
So I thought that was a reference to that, and that's a very funny tweet.
If he's not a Trailer Park Boys fan, that definitely changes it.
I don't think he is.
I think he's got to be.
Because the tweet, it was like.
There's no way he is.
Trailer Park Boys?
Yeah, it's not.
He wouldn't do, like, unless it was, like, Jersey, like, he wouldn't.
Right.
Jersey Trailer Park Boys, maybe.
By the way, Francis, you should come to a case race.
I think Francis should, too.
I would love that.
I just took care of the problem, though.
I really appreciate it.
If you want to show the tweet I just sent, I took care of it.
Francis does not have me muted.
We will get the Delta CEO's name and number.
Yes.
Yeah, Francis texted me out of the blue last night.
He's like, are you related to the Delta CEO?
I was like, what?
Francis, you're smiling and you're having fun.
Do you feel good?
I feel good.
Something bad's going to happen.
I know.
It's been a rough couple days.
See, look.
I'm going to skull fuck this guy. Edward Bastion. We're going to happen. I know. It's been a rough couple days. Look. I'm going to skull fuck this guy.
Yep.
Edward Bastion.
We're getting skull fucked.
St. Bonaventure alum.
Really?
Skull fuck him.
I actually know his nephew, I believe.
All right.
Let's get his fucking email.
All right.
I have Delta.
Okay.
We're good.
We're good.
I think I'm Delta.
What's the medallion?
Yeah.
Which one?
You got Sky Miles.
Silver, gold, platinum, and diamond.
I bet you're diamond. No, I think I'm silver. one? You've got Sky Miles. Silver, gold, platinum, and diamond. I bet you're diamond.
No, I think I'm silver.
Big Cat, you've got Sky Miles up your ass.
I think we'll both do that after I skull fuck this bitch.
Let's do it.
Yeah.
Hey, do you guys want to hear a joke?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, this is a new joke.
So I don't know how funny this is.
We're all fucking wasted.
We're going to laugh.
My wife and I are recently married and she suggested
to me last night that we should come up with a code word in case she ever gets into a hostage
situation okay which she could say to me on a phone call with a loud without alerting her captors that she was telling me
she was in trouble.
Yeah. I thought that was pretty ridiculous.
It is, yeah. And I sure
hope they don't have any orangutans
in the fucking room.
Keep her. You guys can keep her.
Keep her.
Keep her.
Actually, me and
Rowan got to watch Francis' set the other night, and it was...
I did, too, and it was phenomenal.
Yeah, tight.
Ixot.
Rush.
Ixot, Chicago.
You had one of the jokes, probably the hardest I've laughed at a stand-up show in a long time.
My show.
You took my favorite bit and made it a lot better, which was phenomenal.
Thank you.
You didn't like my show?
You didn't have fun?
I put you up front row.
Front row. Front row, I got you. You were great. Mookomenal. Thank you. You didn't like my show? You didn't have fun? I put you up front row. Front row.
Front row, I got you.
You were great.
Mook was great.
It was a fucking great show.
Oh, Darth Maul.
What the hell?
I know.
I'm throwing the game.
Here we go.
You were reading the notes.
You did have a little note card.
Hank, Mook is a real nervous guy.
I want you to start fucking with him.
Do not.
Don't even start, bro.
Walking.
The hell?
I'm going to the onion.
You guys have been so nice to me.
I got to run.
Thank you.
Thank you, big guy.
Thank you for coming in.
And have a good night.
Thank you.
Come to the stand later if you want.
Yeah, maybe I will.
How long are you there for?
All night.
When till when?
Two shows.
Yeah, what time are you leaving?
Okay.
Last Wednesday, I feel like, was an elite time at the stand.
We were laughing.
Seth, what's been the most legendary night at the stand you've ever had?
I don't know.
Tuesday of last week.
LeBur was there.
After the Patrice benefit?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm going to go back.
LeBur.
Who else?
Who's the most famous person that's watched you perform?
Okay, we're good.
Shane?
16.
I know my limits as a man.
He watch you?
Yeah, I mean, he had to.
I was opening for him.
You don't have to watch if someone's opening for you.
He was listening.
It's impossible not to.
No, you just sit backstage and talk with other people.
There was no one else to talk to except for LaMare. He was probably. It's impossible not to. No, you just sit backstage and talk with other people. There was no one else
to talk to
except for LaMere.
He was probably just
chatting it up with LaMere.
They don't talk.
We talk about the items
we brought for Che to inhale.
Oh, fuck.
Stinky.
Stinky.
Do you guys have favorite
yaks off the top of your head
if we're talking about
old Barstool stuff?
Peer poop.
If the food is
turned into peer poop. If the food is drunk.
I was watching old yaks yesterday.
I think Toaster. Favorite yak?
Is that what the question was?
Mine, I always loved the drafts.
He never wears his headphones.
He won't listen.
They make me look fat, and I don't like them.
They make my face look really fat,
and it already is fat,
and it makes them look fatter No it doesn't
You have a great face
Close that door again
He's super thin
He's super thin
I got the producer's mindset
I always see the clips
I'm like
Everyone's wearing headphones
Yep
You're a bad teammate
Is what you are
I'm sorry
Libs from the sticks
Libs from the sticks was one of my favorites.
That was a blast, yeah.
That was funny.
Honestly, dude, the hardest I probably ever laughed on the yak
was when Nick made the joke about if you ever see a Chinese security camera
that's above eye level view.
That was very recently.
Yeah, it was good.
That's recency biased.
That was funny as fuck.
It was funny.
I liked fake dozen calls.
I like when Owen went undercover.
We should bring that back.
The Reason episode is a classic where we're chewing.
Oh, yeah.
Anything Zah.
Oh, Zah guessing.
Zah guessing.
That was my favorite. The first thing that he's quoting, it's a long chew.
You put me in white boy fucking legendary status. White boy legendary status? You put me in white boy fucking legendary status. The first KB is wild. What?
White boy legendary status? You put me in white boy legendary status.
You're a white boy legend.
People pull me off the street talking about those KB wild fucking episodes, man.
That was the best.
It's crazy.
You're a white boy legend.
I promise you.
Your segments were, that was bread for you.
I mean, you set me, you teed me up like John Stockton.
No, you're definitely at 10.
No.
We're at 10 right now. Chase is doing sign language
over here. Yeah, he's always doing sign language.
I think the KBs watching yesterday,
I think the Nicktoe surgery is the best episode.
An index X. That was good.
Nicktoe surgery. Nicktoe surgery is
also the first episode we ever
deal on.
That was?
Yeah.
When Mike said he was a podiatrist.
Oh, shit.
He pulled out the gray goose.
That was one of the greatest episodes. He got your ass.
That was the first episode we ever did a wheel on.
And that's when-
No way.
Was it really?
Yes.
Oh, that episode was really funny.
I was watching it like last night.
I want to say real quick, this 15 right here on the board is not an indication of my drinking.
Well, I should say, excuse me, it is 100% an indication of my efforts, not Big Cat's.
He should win.
We're at 11 right now.
Big Cat and Kate win this.
I'm holding them back, so that's on me.
I also want to point out, this is a gay thing to say.
Sorry, I love gay people, Joey and Pat.
Oh, wait.
That's it?
Why did we have a question?
What about Enrique?
And Enrique.
Okay.
TJ is the MVP.
What about Hank?
What about KB?
Why is that gay?
That was gay, yeah.
TJ, how do you feel about that?
It's weird to say that. I'm trying to fuck you. TJ, I'm pretty sure mean? That was gay, yeah. TJ, how do you feel about that? It's weird to say that.
I'm a straight man.
I'm trying to fuck you?
TJ, I'm pretty sure he just called you gay, dude.
I cut cameras for a very short time, and as soon as I saw TJ doing it.
Oh, you're so bad.
I was terrible.
Yeah, you just missed him.
I was terrible, terrible.
As soon as I saw TJ doing it, but TJ is so much better.
Jay said, I don't want to be gay, and then he listed, I love you.
Oh, no, I was here for that, yeah.
He listed every gay person
in the office
Andy Cohen
Let's be honest
There's a lot more
Ellen DeGeneres
A lot more
Sass
Sass
Rattle them out
We know the first three
Say those real quick
then we'll go to the fourth
There's a lot more
A lot more of the herd
We know three
We know three
Say the three
then we'll go to the fourth
I'm going to be honest
I think we got like 15.
Yeah, we know the four.
Don't help them, Sass.
I don't even know if they're gay.
Frank, Jack Mac, Big T.
Let him cook.
Who else?
Who else?
I might be wrong, but I feel like being a gay male is like peak society.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go off.
Go off.
What else? Go off. On an economic level. You have the world at your fingertips. You call. Go off. Go off.
On an economic level.
You have the world
at your fingertips.
We call them dinks.
You don't have to
pay for children.
You can go on vacation
whenever you want.
Let's tell them
you guys have children.
What is a dink?
Hank can go on vacation
whenever he wants.
We all have a
dink vacation.
What is a dink?
Dink is a real estate term.
Dink is double income
no kids.
Is that from Doug? Dual income no kids. No kids. From Doug.
Dual income, no kids.
I know it from Doug.
From Doug lived next door to the dinks.
And they always had the good shit.
No kids.
Dual income, no kids.
18.
18 for the booth.
Spider, what year are you on?
Your fifth?
Thank you.
Che, when you were in high school.
Five or six.
In what, the early 2000s?
You're good, you're good, you're good, you're good.
Or maybe 0103?
Might be 06, 07, 06.
I was two years old when you graduated high school.
Is there a gay peer in your high school?
Gay people, yeah.
Were they like bullied?
They weren't treated great.
They were treated very well?
I mean, that just can't be true.
I don't know if anybody was like crazy out.
Ah, bro, nobody cared.
But like.
Nobody cared.
Wait, crazy out.
Wait, Steven, what you said about TJ, though, is correct.
Okay, did you get bullied for being gay?
Steven, are you, are your feelings hurt when I say that I hated you for the first six months?
No.
Okay, good.
Because I knew you did.
Yeah.
Oh, I hated you. because i knew you did yeah oh i hated you because i knew you then i
and then the flip switch and i was like this guy's got the weirdest brain ever
and i loved you ever since yeah i appreciate that are there some remember it ron oh you're
there how much i hate you you're there you're there right jared yeah you hit it you hit it
what i fucking love my friends so much much. I love you boys so much.
I know I give guff, but I fucking love you guys.
No, no, no.
Sass.
The beginning of the yak, though.
Beginning of the yak.
Roan was there.
I know.
I used to listen.
I remember I was in high school.
I was like, I'm going to be on that show one day.
I hate it.
That Carabas fucking sucks.
He would make us do a meeting.
Someone's got to swap Carabas out.
No, no, no.
He tried to make us do a meeting before. For an hour. An hour. He tried to make us do a meeting. Someone's got to swap Karabas out. No, no, no. He tried to make us do a meeting before.
For an hour.
An hour.
He tried to make us do a meeting for an hour show.
Oh, yeah.
That's crazy.
That is.
Big Cat was very clear he did not want the prep sheet until he was literally walking into the studio.
Yeah, that's how it should be.
Yeah.
That's how it is now?
Yeah.
But at the beginning, he was like, let's do an hour meeting.
And I was like, I fucking hate this guy.
It's crazy that he's been doing a prep sheet for-
Does this prep sheet for you?
I know.
That's what I mean.
You're incredible at it.
He does a prep sheet.
It's fucking incredible.
Actually, you deserve more flowers for the fact that you do the prep sheet for the Pat
Pat Pod every single week.
He does?
Every week.
He's locked in.
Oh, he needs credit for that.
He does homework every day. As does the prep sheet. He grinds.. Oh, he needs credit for that. Jay does homework every day.
As does the prep show.
He grinds.
I'm a boy, Dad.
Nobody says anything.
The Pat Bev Pod, nobody says anything.
And on Sunday night, if I haven't gotten word, I reach out.
No guests this week.
Regular show.
I got you.
Bro, he's so locked in.
He's such a grinder.
Three pages of pertinent questions.
Right.
Jay, what was the highlight of your Barstool career when you felt like most at home?
Surviving Barstool. What about Schefter?
The last one? Schefter.
You lost? Yes, the interview
with Schefter. Nothing Bucs?
Very close to. Nothing Bucs
related? What was your favorite Yak moment?
I don't associate the Bucs with
the Barstool. Okay.
I mean, Yak moments are hard to
associate the Bucs. You think you'd have the in with the Bucs?, bigger than Mark. You think you'd have
the in with the bus?
Yes, I do.
I do.
You think, whoa!
Hold up.
Pause!
Time out!
Everyone time out!
Everyone time out!
Don't do this.
Don't do this.
Everyone time out.
Don't do this.
I'm asking you as a friend.
I didn't mean to bring it there.
Don't do this.
Oh, no, no.
What is it?
What is it?
Don't do this.
Don't do this.
I'm asking you as a friend.
We'll cut it.
We'll cut it. We'll cut it. Chay just said
he would have the same relationship
with the box without Barstool.
Oh, hell no.
KB, give us a real one.
Give us a real one.
We'll be half-assing it.
There's no way.
KB, I know you can do better than that.
No, you're right.
No, no, no.
Tell me different.
You're right. I wouldn't. I'm not, no. Tell me different. You're right.
I wouldn't.
I'm not saying it's a bad thing.
You're right.
I did.
I used you guys in the beginning.
I asked.
It's not used, though.
I feel like you're guilty about it.
It's just like a symbiotic relationship.
It's not your fault you worked at Barstool.
Yeah.
We're at 16.
I did ask because I used to do it.
It's minus one. Minus one. Minus one. Min did ask because I used to. It's minus one.
Minus one.
Minus one.
Minus one.
I was in on minus one for both teams.
Minus one.
For both teams.
Minus one.
For both of them.
It's minus one.
Help their team.
That was diabolical.
Hank, you're a suit-ass motherfucker.
Fuck you.
I am a suit.
I'm wearing a fucking suit.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
That was sportsmanship.
I will not be penalized. Hey, just finish that. I'll hold it. I'll hold it. Give us a big one. Hey, whoa, whoa. That was sportsmanship. I will not be penalized.
KB, I got it.
I'll hold it.
Give us a big one.
KB.
KB's body.
KB!
No, come on, KB.
Open it up.
Open it up.
I'm 30 years old.
I'm not going to bend my knee like you would if I told you to say I'm the Joker.
I'm the Joker.
Say it like you would.
Oh, KB.
Say it like you would.
But I just know you got it in the tent.
I know you.
Say I'm the Joker like a crazy man. I would never say that. Say it like a psychopath. Oh, KB. Say it like you would. But I just know you got it in the tent. I know you. Say I'm the Joker like a crazy man.
I would never say that.
Say it like a psychopath.
I'd never do that.
Yeah.
Just do one, Seth.
Why don't you say one?
Because you know you can.
I get it now.
I understand.
You know for a fact.
Now I know where you're coming from.
Why don't you fucking say it?
Fall back.
Fall back, KB.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
What's going on?
I'm the Joker, baby!
Yeah, like that.
It won, Seth.
I don't know how you felt about it, KB.
I like it.
I apologize.
I fall back.
Yeah, it's on me.
All right.
It's between me, you, and God.
Wait, Stephen, you think you'd have the same relationship with us?
Seth has been holding back.
It's not a bad thing.
Yeah, we got to...
It's not a bad thing that...
Second act of the case race. Seth, we got to... It's not a bad thing. The second act of the case race.
We can win this.
It's not a bad thing that Barstool...
I don't want to win. Che, another one.
Che, another one.
Che's locked in right now.
He's using this as fuel.
19 for Nick and Che.
For the win.
Nicky, I think he's waiting on your mic.
For the win? Nicky, pass think he's waiting on your mic. For the win?
For the win.
Nicky, pass the mic off.
Is that the win?
It's only for 20, yeah, I guess.
That's 20.
They just won?
Is your case empty?
Is it empty?
Our case is empty.
So you guys won.
That was 17 to 19.
I said 18 like a minute ago.
What do we work?
Our case is empty.
They're done for this.
Why is this open for them?
It's a dub.
Why isn't this? It's is empty. That's a win for them. Why is this open for her? It's a dub. Why is this?
It's a dub.
It's a dub.
Che used all the fuel of people being like,
are you dedicated to the NFL?
Do you love the Bucs?
Do you care about your friends?
Good job.
Do you care about your family?
Work, boys.
It's the Roebuck.
I swear to God,
it's the Roebuck.
Good work, boys.
17.
The best thing about Roebuck is when we see someone wearing Roebuck, we give them a nod.
I watched a dude.
Why?
Why do we do that, Big Cat?
Why do we give them a nod?
I don't know.
Because we get it.
Can I tell a story?
I mean, I love the act.
I'm very happy to be on here.
I was talking to TJ in Houston before the college football, whatever, college basketball.
And some dude interrupted and was like, hey, TJ, come give me a kiss.
And held up a fucking coin.
And I was like, this is one of the weirdest things I've ever experienced in real life.
Like, you know, like, obviously, it's like weird shit happens in these doors.
Hearing it outside, that was a lot. Yeah, having it
happen in a real scenario
is crazy.
Hey, DJ!
I've been in the bathroom places
and people have just slid over a coin
at the urinal.
It should never be a thing where the producer of a show
is getting that, though. It is
crazy how many people have
that sort of reach out. I was at a Bucks game and a guy showed up to text me and showed me a coin. It is crazy how many people have like that sort of reach out.
I was at a Bucks game
and a guy showed up
to text me
and showed me a coin.
It was one of the more
demoralizing.
I just laugh.
You guys give in.
Wait, I just go
yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was on a date with a guy
and I was going bad
and I was like
alright, I gotta go.
He's like no.
Uh-uh.
The coin.
And you fucked his ass.
I had to fuck his ass?
Yeah. You had to. At that point there's nothing else you can do. You should put outuh. The coin. And you fucked his ass. I had to fuck his ass? Yeah.
You had to.
At that point, there's nothing else you can do.
You should put out one fuck-ass coin.
Yeah.
One.
Yeah, one individual.
One fuck-ass coin.
One individual fuck-ass coin.
Are you guys down?
Yes, yes.
EJ?
And I would follow the rules.
One of one fuck-ass coin?
No, no, no.
You would get fucked.
There's no way you'd fuck.
No, no, you'd get fucked. No no You would get fucked There's no way I'm not No no you get fucked No I would get fucked
Yeah if someone
Comes up to you
With a fuck ass coin
One of one
I'm gonna be gay
I'm getting fucked
Wait I wanna get a huge
I wanna be the size
Of a fucking hula hoop
That's a great point
It's 700 dollars
And 700 pounds
Yeah
For British people
So it's gotta be
Yeah it's expensive
For British people But it has to be to be, yeah, it's expensive for British people.
But it has to be a guy strong enough to fuck you.
One fuck-ass coin.
I want a bear.
Che's about to have a heart attack, but you crushed it, buddy.
Yeah, what are you guys, what's up with you guys?
Hey, congrats, boys.
They wanted to win, and it was the Roebuck that locked them in.
I felt so good.
I've wanted to win since the get-go.
Like, should I dial 911?
People are wondering
if the two guys
wearing yak
roll back here.
No, no, no.
Hey, don't say that.
I hope I don't walk outside
and a dude doesn't come up
with a fuck-ass coin.
Because I won't last long.
There will be multiple.
They'll be like,
fuck-ass, fuck-ass hard.
Sales saw this was doing
really well, so we were like, fuck-ass fuck ass hard. Sales saw this was doing really well.
Fuck ass coins are doing well.
So yeah, they sold out quick.
Fuck ass coins sold out.
We're going to run back to fuck ass.
We're not going to run it back.
We're going to stick to the theme.
Yeah, we're still staying true to the ethos of the yak, but we're going to.
I saw Sass at his stand up show in Albany and he never fucked my ass.
He just said, ha ha ha.
Should we get food? Yeah, we
got to spin that wheel.
Uh-oh.
You guys, they've had ladies the entire time.
I got a couple of my pubes to burn and Steve...
Oh, no, Nick!
Nick!
I got the pubes. No, bro. I thought so.. Oh, psst. Look at the pubes.
No.
No, bro.
I thought something smelled.
I got a couple of my pubes.
Wait, they're so thick.
You missed a lot.
Those are normal.
No, they're not.
That's thick.
Nick and Che are blacked out.
It won the case race.
We should be exalting them.
It won the case race.
And now you're going to inhale my fucking pubes.
No, no. Why are they so long to inhale my fucking pubes. No.
Why are they so long?
Hey, smell them.
Hey, smell them.
You smell homeless. Oh, no, no.
I want you to smell them.
Smell them, Shane.
I want them in your lungs.
Bitch.
Oh, this is great.
Bitch.
Feels great to be on the opposite side of this.
I'm fine.
I'm sober.
What is the stinky cube for maybe someone that works during 1 o'clock and doesn't get to sleep?
Oh, wow.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Don't change it.
You killed Qui-Gon Jinn, bitch.
I don't give a fuck about you.
Second place for the Booth Boys.
All right.
All right.
Let's work, boys.
All right.
Let's play some salad bowl.
Big Cat, you have the final say on this.
We want to put out for $700 a coin the size of a hula hoop,
and if they see us out and they have the coin on them,
they get to fuck our ass.
One of one.
One of one.
Get one guy.
That was right when I was going to take a piss.
Yeah.
Hank was telling the story about TJ kissing a dude.
Yes.
So we want to put out one.
But I kissed a dude on the lips.
Probably the same guy.
He was calling him Gay Jay since then.
No.
Yeah, Gay Jay.
Gay Jay, yeah.
Yeah, we have been behind your back, dude.
Yeah, we have.
It was T-Gay.
It was Gay Jay.
No, T-Gay.
Not Gay Jay.
No, we didn't think of that.
We thought it's Gay Jay.
No, T-Gay was a high school nickname.
T-Gay.
You guys did not come up with that yourself.
Oh, fuck.
And we just came up with it.
Oh, we've been calling you that for a while behind your back. Fuck my high school. Yeah. High school nickname. T-Gay. You guys did not come up with that yourself. Oh, fuck. We just came up with it. We've been calling you that for a while behind your back.
Fuck my high school.
High school sucks.
Hey, Che's going to die.
So, yo, this one's for all the dudes you got bullied in high school.
So, Nick and-
You will not define us.
Sass and K-
No.
Sass and Hank and KB and Roan have to drink him hitching beers?
Yeah, bring us a fat IPA.
Give me the 17.
Give us a heavy, heavy.
Bring me a Hitching's Classic.
I don't give a fuck.
Spider, I'm proud of you, bro.
Love you, Big Cat.
Thank you guys very much for the opportunity.
You said you were going to puke after four.
You didn't puke.
I took a fat burp and a big piss, and again, I'm super fortunate for this opportunity.
I love you guys.
Congratulations to Kate on her pregnancy.
Right.
Arms up.
Yes.
Leave a positive comment.
Big K, thank you so much.
You're a king.
No, Spider, why are you talking like you're about to leave?
Yeah, I know.
What the hell are you talking about?
You ain't leaving.
You can say.
All right, okay.
Here, Kate's fine there.
Kate has the gnarliest shit for Chase.
Kate's got stuff for us.
No, no, no.
You go.
Oh, no.
What is that?
TJ, what are the numbers?
I do like.
That was a great send off.
They're like 7 to 19 percent, right?
That was a great send off speech for someone who's not sending off.
Fucking.
My spider.
Still going to send it.
I'm going to send it off, but I will send it.
I got a full send, bro.
That's right.
Out to the Nelk boys.
How are you going to tell your wife you got to leave her and go get fucked in the ass for the night?
This guy has a coin that's the size of the telephone for you.
She gets it.
It's the stool.
Does she get the coin, though?
Amy, go easy on those beers.
Does she get the coin?
I hope she buys it.
I meant to ask.
Rone, does she get it, though?
Because when I kiss that dude on the lips, my wife texts me.
She's like, why are you kissing guys on the lips?
And then you give him a nod because she gets it.
Part of the business.
Gets it.
You got to tell her.
I was just like, yeah, it's a yak thing.
She's like, oh, okay.
My wife is pissed every time we go out.
She is.
It's getting annoying for me, too.
How pissed Nick is?
I mean, your wife is a whore.
Let's be real.
Is Che okay?
She's pissed I'm kissing Nick.
No, Che's not okay.
Hold on. Che's not okay. It might be Che Day over here.
Hold on.
Che's not okay.
It might be Che Day.
Get a tight shot of that.
Talk, talk, Steven.
Talk.
The fucker's breathing heavy.
You're in a rain and it's hot.
Hey, what's going on?
He's not okay.
I'm where you at.
He's not okay.
There's a very high chance I throw up in this.
Che, don't do it.
That would lose you the win.
Do it.
Hey, don't invalidate the win.
Don't you dare leave.
It would.
Yeah, it would.
Asterix.
Don't you dare leave. Invalidate the win. 30't you dare leave. Yeah, it would. Asterix. Don't you dare.
Invalidate the win.
30 minutes.
30 minutes.
Jay, accept the fact.
I thought it was one hour.
One hour.
Jay.
30 minutes.
The fact you're going to throw up, you will feel so much better after you throw up.
Go throw up in the back.
You're throwing up.
You can't hold it in.
Just boom.
You'll feel way better.
It's never worth it.
Just go for it.
You have to throw up.
Jay, are you about to puke?
Jay's down tremendously. Jay, you can't leave. Do it. Just go for it. Shay, are you about to puke? Shay's down tremendously.
Shay, you can't leave.
Do it.
I am hammered.
I went so hard last couple beers.
So hard.
Last post-case race, me and Shay went to a bar and we saw the clown.
We had a great time.
Oh, yeah, KP.
Dude.
I'm not going to say it.
I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say it.
I'm not going to say what?
Nothing.
She's got an eye for knowing exactly where we are.
She said, call me B because I want that A.
18.
Wait, we're done.
What time did I text you that?
Like 3.30 in the morning?
4 and 18.
Crazy time.
Booth.
Soon to be 19.
All right, well, thank you guys for listening.
I'm getting hammered. Che, what was the most pessimistic moment of your career when you thought, well, thank you guys for listening.
Che, what was the most pessimistic moment of your career when you thought maybe this won't work out?
Everything Dave was going to fire.
Che, everything you were fired, you feel better.
When Dave said I was going to give my presentation for content.
Which wasn't bad.
We all knew that was a good thing for you.
Oh, no, it's not.
No.
It's actually a very bad thing of the time. By the way, we have another presentation from Che that I'm waiting to. Oh, no, it slides out. No. It slides out. Actually, you were worried? Very bad thing of the time.
By the way,
we have another presentation
from Che that I'm waiting to...
You haven't watched it.
I've seen it.
Yeah, no, I have.
What kind of presentation?
Yeah, I have.
Gaz sent it to me.
No fucking way.
Che, you gotta go pee.
Yeah, he did.
Fuck, Che, let it out.
Hey, if you don't throw up,
you will die.
I might.
Oh, we'll watch it on the act.
Probably should boot.
Okay.
Okay. Che, what was
your presentation to Erica?
I saw it.
No, you didn't. Chicago. Yeah.
Che, I'm going to be fully transparent
with you here.
Che, I'm going to be fully
transparent. If you throw up in the bag,
the bag is going in the sticky cloud.
Yes. Do not throw up in the bag.
I love that idea. Go to the bathroom.
Go to the bathroom and throw whatever you want.
Should we do Stinky Cloud right now?
The puke is already in.
Yeah, we should.
Oh, wow.
That is what we might as well.
That we might as well.
Get it out.
It'll get it out.
I'll displace the cup in my pubes.
Before the show, do Stinky Cloud.
Oh, dog.
Let's do Stinky Cloud right now.
We got to do it now.
Sat or TJ, how are we going to video Sinking Cloud?
Zoom in the bathroom.
Guys, I hate to interject, but I would suggest we don't do Sinking Cloud.
Oh, we're doing the bathroom.
I've been informed that that spray that I sourced is very putrid.
No, we're doing the bathroom.
Okay.
I would do it in here.
No, no, no.
KB, KB.
Fall back, fall back.
KB, do it in here. Let's do it in here. What are you sipping. KB, KB. Fall back. Fall back.
Let's do it in here.
What are you sipping on right now? Just, just, just, just.
On some 10% shit.
No, I agree with that.
I like this.
I like this.
I like that too.
This is the move.
Yeah, oh, right there?
That's not going to be sealed.
That's not sealed.
It's still the word here.
We're fine.
We're sealed.
Let's do it right there.
But someone, someone, Kate.
It's not going to smell that bad.
Kate, you have to make sure that the lobby doesn't smell bad when we leave tonight.
I have a candle and Febreze.
You fucking addict.
I'm going to go get the stuff for the same time.
That's bullshit.
Do it in here.
No, no, let's do it right now.
We'll put a trash can in here.
No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, No, no, no. Let's do it right now. We'll put a trash can in here. No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
You don't make the rules.
Bullshit.
First of all, we're supposed to do this at the end.
Second of all, it should be in here.
No, no, no.
We'll do it right there where there's way more air.
No.
Way more air.
You can't do it in here.
Other shows.
It's way better.
I'll offer with you. It's your punishment. No. No. No. Way more air. You can't do it in here. Other shows use the same. I'll offer with you.
It's your punishment.
Octane Central, no.
Ringo Bosco, no.
I'm approving him.
Whoa.
Oh, shit.
Fuck, man.
My third turn of RB.
Nope.
There's heat.
Look at Hank right now.
Look at Hank.
Holy fuck.
He's ready to throw hands.
All right, Steven.
That's a rider right there.
No, no, no.
Here's what I'll make the deal for you.
You do it right there, five minutes. Half the time. No there. No, no, no. Here's what I'll make the deal for you. You do it right there, five minutes.
Half the time.
No, but dude, it's always been.
Half the time.
It's always been outside of the studio.
Aaron A. and that motherfucker.
Half the time.
Can I say one thing too?
Yes, of course.
As an outsider, it already stinks so bad in that room you guys are in right now.
I poked my head in and it's like shocking.
What the hell, Kate?
You got this.
You got this. That was kind of tough to hear. I'm sorry. You just have my head in and it's like shocking. What the hell, Kate? You got this. You got this.
That was kind of tough to hear.
I'm sorry.
We just have been burping,
farting,
and pouring beers on the floor.
I shit like 10 minutes ago.
You got this.
You got this.
We're going to put the trash can in there.
I thought I was farting in a Jewish church.
Five minutes.
10 minutes ago.
Five minutes out there
versus 10 minutes ago.
Hey, how about that?
Boy diaper style right now.
All right, let's go.
Five minutes, Stinky Cloud right there.
I have to change.
I have to change.
Oh, go change.
I don't want to ruin my clothes.
All right, go change.
How about Roback?
You should wear it.
Go change.
Go change.
Look.
No, no, it would be funnier if you're a bodybuilder.
Hey, look behind me.
There's plenty of Roback behind me.
Yeah.
Go change.
Jay, look at me.
Jay. You won this. I'm in right now. You can. Yeah. Go change. Che, look at me. Che.
You won this.
I'm in right now.
You can win that.
I know you can do it.
What are you afraid of?
Che, we give him a nod because we get it.
Go change.
What are you afraid of?
Che, yeah.
You're going to inhale my fucking poop.
Yeah, with some droopy draws.
You're going to inhale the air from my asshole to my balls.
Che, you're afraid of that.
You need to do this.
Roan, let's do dinner wheel.
You're going to get Nick's gooch. Yeah, let's do Dinner Wheel. You're going to get Nick's gooch.
Yeah, let's do Dinner Wheel.
Order dinner.
Pace race results stand no matter what.
Yes, yes, yes.
You won.
You won.
Dinner Wheel.
Let's do Dinner Wheel now.
Stinky Cloud, then we'll play Salad Bowl.
One of one.
One spin, whatever it lands on will be correct.
Hope you dumb bitches are ready for breakfast.
Arby's would suck.
Some poached eggs on some toast.
It's only one spin?
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Arby's.
Oh, Arby's is great.
Arby's is not.
Arby's sucks so bad.
It's got to be elimination.
We're only doing one spin.
Shouldn't have ever got the one.
No, we're doing all the spins.
Arby's is phenomenal. Wait, who said Arby's? Arby's is great. It's got to be elimination. We're doing one spin. Shouldn't have ever. No, we're doing all the spins. Arby's is phenomenal.
Wait, who said Arby's?
Arby's is great.
It's elimination.
You got to get in the cloud.
No, it's always been elimination.
Let's go elimination.
It's always been elimination.
It's always been elimination.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
No, it's always been elimination.
We need to brainstorm how to take advantage of this Kate pregnancy.
Yeah.
Job?
I think wheel name.
Nick, you said it earlier.
Name wheel.
Name wheel.
Excuse me.
Oh, wheel name.
What if we named the kid wheel?
Wheel's a good name.
Chinese.
All right, Chase.
Hey, let us do a name wheel, and you don't have to stick to it,
but let's just see what it ends up with.
Oh, he's puking right now, I think.
Oh, shit.
This might be it, folks.
Jay's puking?
No, he's not.
I think you should name a credit.
Good.
You're good.
I want you to puke.
If you're going to boot, stay in here.
Steven, don't puke to the stinky cloud.
He's walking like he met the guy with the fuck coin.
Good call, big cat.
Yeah.
Don't let him puke.
Connor, go watch him. Don't let him puke. Connor, go watch him.
I don't understand what's going on with his body.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
What is...
Did he not say on the yak previously he could go UDFA?
What's the split here?
You guys are drinking 20 beers.
And now he can't handle...
He can't keep up with the boys.
Big guy had nine and he had 11.
I don't understand what 11 beers...
Hank, Che won.
He won the competition. Right, Billy. I'm not going to talk shit. I'm not either. I'm a boy. I don't understand what 11 beers. Hank, Che won. He won the competition.
Right, Billy.
I'm not going to talk shit.
I'm not either.
I'm just wondering how 11 beers can put a person in that situation.
That's a fair point by KB.
What is that?
It's not a.
Yeah.
Wait, what is the.
What's the.
Voila.
That's got to be.
Sa.
What is that?
Yup.
Yup.
Oh, no.
What is that?
What is that, Sa? Is this one of one? Is this one of one? Maybe he is some? Yup. Yup. Oh, no. What is that?
Is this one of one?
It's one of one.
Weird shit.
No, it's one of one.
Pizza.
Wait, no.
It's Zuz.
What is the other one?
What the fuck is that, Zuz?
Voila freak.
One of the one and few and only fucking restaurants from Africa that are in Manhattan.
Because all there is here is Italian food.
What style African food, though?
It's West Africa.
What do you got against it?
So Jollof.
What's up?
Hold up.
Hold up.
I found it on Seamless.
I'm ordering right now.
That was kind of a ricochet at Italians.
What was that all about?
I have nothing against Italians.
I just back my own.
There's one fucking restaurant from Africa in Manhattan.
Come on, man.
Only one?
Italian restaurant. No, no, no. There's one fucking restaurant from Africa in Manhattan. Come on, man. Only one?
No, no, no. There's definitely Ethiopian spots.
He's talking about West Africa. He's talking about Ghanaian food.
Nigerian food. He's talking about
I don't know
no Manhattan. What Mr. Beast challenge can we
give the DoorDash driver?
$500 if he can shotgun
a beer. If he can pop
all his balloons in 10 minutes.
Oh, I love that.
I love that, Hank.
All right, well, how many minutes?
We need the Roomba knives.
Oh, shit.
Roomba knives.
Big Cat, how are we popping these balloons, Big Cat?
How are we popping these balloons?
We got the Roomba knife.
You got the Roomba knife?
Oh, yeah.
How's that Papa Hitchings drink right there?
Strong.
It's good, though.
They're super strong.
What percentage? This is a tenner. though. They're super strong. What percentage?
This is a tenner.
Don't talk about the brand.
What is that?
Yeah, the brand sucks, but it's good.
It's a tenner as well.
What the fuck?
It's the best drink I've ever had.
I got a 10.6 right here.
Which number did you get?
The brand is terrible.
I got one, which is a 10.6.
Which number did you take, Kyle?
I forget.
He got violent.
My dad was super hyped about helping promote small breweries with this.
Shout out Tim Hitchings.
Who can we promote?
Talk about Carton Brewery.
Talk about Tim Hitchings.
How much should a six-inch pie cost?
What?
It's $1 an inch.
$16.99.
$1 an inch.
$8.99.
Should be $1 an inch.
16-inch Zaha costs...
What?
Sorry, I'm saying Zaha's in pizza.
Wait, what?
No, I'm fucking that up.
East Coast is a dollar an inch.
I'm literally 16-inch, my brother.
Yeah, he is 16-inch.
You know 16-inch Zaha.
I'll do two pizzas.
There's IDs on the beer.
If you got a beer from that.
That's $40, though.
I need Tim in the office.
Shout out, Carton.
Two pizzas is $40. At what point would Tim commit to office. Shout out, Carton. Two pizzas is $40.
At what point would Tim commit to a pizza?
Oh, stop.
Stop, Sass.
We're not ordering pizza.
Big Bro got us.
I got us.
Well, you're getting Westside.
You lack an African.
We're getting Westside.
Yeah, no, no, no.
No, you can't order pizza right now.
I'm getting the food.
Yeah, Brody got us.
You know God, dude.
How's the African food?
Is it good?
Is it going to scratch my itch?
Yeah, so it depends on how strong is your stomach.
It's normal.
What are you feeding us?
It's not the question I want to know when I'm ordering food.
No, it's normal.
I mean, you eat it.
Normal shit.
It'll be like some raw cow probably.
You white cats eat fucking weird shit.
You say normal and then white cats in the same breath.
Like, Zob, what is it?
Should I prepare to have my digestive system trained or is it going to be some new shit?
So it's West African.
It's a lot of stews.
Some tripe type shit.
I'm looking right now.
It's peanut butter stew.
Zob, you know you're a white icon?
Stew is not a drunk food.
I'm not trying to have a stew.
You're a white icon.
You're like the Nike Jack motherfucker.
That was my goal for this case race, but I fucking came second, bro.
You know how much white people love people that can drink beer?
If I came first, I would have been a baseball fan.
You'd respect that a lot.
Yeah, I was trying to go for the goal, too.
Sass was, you know, I asked him before.
I was like, are we going for this?
Hank, I drank 10 more beers than you, dude.
You had one beer and I had one.
10 more? What do you mean? You guys had 11, than you, dude. You had one beer. 10 more?
What do you mean?
You guys had 11.
So you had 10 and he had one?
He had one.
No.
Are you serious, Sass?
I'm serious.
I don't think we would have won anyway, but I feel you, Sass.
I was going for gold, too.
Because I'm not a regular show.
If I could have walked out here with a fucking banner.
Sass, you don't get it.
Hank Fank faces that person. I would have been a legend in Hoboken. Talk to me, S banner. No, you don't get it. Hank is, Hank faces diversity.
I would have been a legend
in Hoboken.
Talk to me, Zez.
What'd you say?
Hank faces diversity constantly.
You have no idea.
Going from the third,
tough life, right?
Going from the third floor
to the second floor,
it's like,
it's a different world.
Hank's a lonely boy upstairs.
I always walk by him
and he's like,
hey man,
you want to like talk?
Like,
have you ever fired anybody? I'm like, not really'm like not really dude yeah hey what's been the worst part about being a suit no he fired
somebody who'd you find that's that's that duo you fired publicity no no not who not how to go
though not who but how did quigs quigs quigs quigs quigs no no no how'd it go fuck that
no that wasn't third floor road That was PMT. PMT.
In a PMT world, I've had to let some people go behind the scenes.
For sure.
Damn, bro.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's not really like...
Offo, Hank.
Offo.
That's not really like suit third floor related, but...
How is that not?
That seems directly related.
That's the most suit thing ever.
That was before I sat up.
Whose head did you drop?
Oh, really?
Yeah.
You were calling those shots down here.
So you were firing people before you wore the suit.
Who's the next you plan on firing?
My org chart is zero.
Zah, I just ordered $550 worth of food.
No way.
Yo, let's see what you got.
What the fuck did you get?
Zah's about to be shooting.
What'd you get?
No, the restaurant's like, fuck, this asshole ordered this much.
What did you get?
I got to fly tomorrow.
I can't be an African.
What the hell?
One small rice combo, jalal rice.
You guys are going to love the jalal.
One small rice combo, rice and beans.
One small rice combo, jalal rice.
One small rice combo, jalal rice. Is. One small rice combo, jalaf rice.
What is jalaf?
Is there a chicken in there?
Like, what's...
Oh, what is jalaf?
Shut up.
One large rice combo, larger sauce range, one coconut fried rice, one igusu collard greens
in palm oil.
I got the igusi soup.
Halal beef.
All the meat is gay, people.
Halal beef.
Najero combo.
Quakes, quakes, quakes, quicks, quicks, quicks.
No.
No, that's fine.
Leave that in.
That's fine.
Non-vegan jollof and chicken tacos.
Fried plantains and peanuts.
Fried plantains and peanuts.
Fried yellow plantains.
Fried yellow plantains.
You went carb heavy.
One peanut butter stew with fish.
One peanut butter stew with fish.
One halal beef
Non-spicy
If I'm
If cheeseburger is the fucking
United States like
Cliche
Introduction meal
What is it to your culture
The jollof rice
What is jollof rice
So it's rice that's cooked in They they put little chunks, depending on where you're from, depending
on if you're Ghana, if you're Nigeria and all that, they put little chunks of little
somethings in there.
Yeah.
It's flavored rice.
What should we expect here tonight?
Stone the gays and they put little chunks of them in the food.
I don't know.
They can't order, they can't list it as order anymore.
It's ethnophobic.
Jolof Rices.
Jolof Rices. Oh, yeah. How do you Chucky Finster talking like that? and he ordered like Jollof Rice's. Jollof Rice's.
Oh, yeah.
How do you Chuckie Finster talk?
You guys will like Jollof Rice's.
I don't know, Tommy.
Ever since I started eating African food, my diaper hasn't felt right.
What the fuck?
I don't know, Tommy.
My diaper doesn't feel right since I don't agree with your religion anymore.
I don't know if I agree with their cultural customs.
Did I sound like that?
Fuck.
No, no, no.
That's sass.
Okay, okay.
Straight as a moth.
So what?
Sass and ache only drink 11 beers.
Straight as a moth.
What's a stereotype for somebody from Swaziland?
Bar AIDS.
That, yes. Yep, yep. Up the country, What's a stereotype for somebody from Swaziland? Bah AIDS. That.
Yes.
Yep.
Yep.
Love the country.
Bro, they have like 40%, 50% AIDS rate right there.
Oh, no.
It's Moth.
It's Swatini now.
It's Swatini, yeah.
Their stereotype is AIDS?
I don't know.
50% AIDS, good or bad?
In terms of the African countries, it's fine.
It's a beautiful country.
Bro, have you seen the women down there?
No.
Swaziland bitches?
The topography is great.
Fat asses.
I used to date a Swaziland girl.
Come on.
Yeah.
No chance.
Yeah, big old lie.
Yeah.
On everything?
On life?
Ass like an onion, make you want to cry.
All right.
Wait, where'd Steve go?
By the way, can we?
Steve has not been back.
He's so fucked up.
We got a Stinky Cloud.
Yeah, he got a new Stinky Cloud.
You guys might lose this.
I think Steven was having a heart attack, and he was like, yo, I'm going to throw up.
That was bizarre.
I'm going to go see him.
Grabbing his heart, being like, dude, I'm going to throw up.
He was trying to survive for us.
I want a Stinky Cloud this motherfucker to death.
Dude, if 10 beers give you a heart attack, that's so funny.
Nick, shout out you guys for winning.
Yeah, you guys won. We didn't give you enough credit.
I don't want the credit.
What happened to your mic?
I broke like two hours ago.
Be honest, did I fuck you?
Really? Oh, Spider, you did everything
you could. Spider, you've been good.
This was a lot of fun for me.
Spider's been awesome to hear, but not to hear.
What'd you have spider
seven beers i agree i agree i don't know i think this might be eight or seven but then again we've
been on film the whole time so you guys tell me you're good bro also spider weighs the least yeah
you fought hard that's the handicap we fought the heaviest 120 you'll find in this motherfucking
office shoot this back fuck out of here with the pubes, man.
Oh, no.
What is that?
I see this motherfucker trimming.
He's back.
Oh, the pubes.
He's back.
He's back.
All right.
Holding his heart like he's about to die.
It's actually my chest hair.
Stinking cloud of time.
Did you puke?
Connor, report into the microphone what happened, Connor.
We need an update.
Yeah, Connor.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no. It might not have happened yet. Other room. Other room. We need an update. Yeah, Connor. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Oh, no.
It might not have happened yet. Jay, other room.
Other room.
You can hear.
You can hear.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it in here.
If you're a yak boy, do it in here.
Why is he barefoot?
Why is he barefoot?
Where are his shoes at?
Where are his shoes?
Where did his socks go?
Oh, Steve Post Fontaine.
He recovered.
He recovered.
How did he lose his socks?
All right, bring that chair into the stinky cloud.
Jay, what happened, my friend?
How is he sopless?
I'm hammered.
Hammered.
Jay, why are you a throw-up?
Jay, they jumped you for your Nike elites.
Those are my actual clothes.
I wear those almost
every day, so I don't want to ruin those.
The unwrapped feet.
Unwrapped feet.
I've never seen someone get got for their socks.
You guys know those socks. I wear them every day.
Where did you go?
Those Nike
mids.
What movie ends
With someone like dying
Being like
Did we win
Dying Sockless
Is the worst
Is there a movie
Where someone's like
Did we win
I've never seen someone
Get jumped
Got another
Ripped for the Nike Elite
Yeah they ran up
On your sock
They got you
They got you
For the zigs
And the socks
Give me the socks
Give me your pants and your socks.
They were like, we want the Hanes with them.
Hey, yo.
I took my socks off myself.
Jay, were you a big zigs guy?
Zigs?
Reebok?
Reebok zigs.
Oh, yeah.
TJ, that might have been a hard time.
I don't know.
It was definitely a hard time.
It was a hard time.
I don't know if they had zigs.
I had the zigs, and then I had D-Roses that I wore every day for two years.
Yeah, I was a big zigs guy.
For sure.
Dead homes.
Dude, where the fuck is the trash can?
They took it out there.
So you can go up in your stinky.
Outside?
Yes.
Yeah, for your stinky.
You can't throw up with no socks on.
Yeah, you can't throw up with no socks on, bro.
Slide something on those. That's ultimate weakness. can't throw up with no socks on. Yeah, you can't throw up with no socks on, bro.
Slide something on those. That's ultimate weakness.
No socks throw up.
TJ, can we get a hold of Brandon on his birthday dinner?
Who's Brandon?
Walker?
Come on now.
Go sit in the sing club.
Yeah, that's true.
Nick just said.
Been there, Che.
Brandon said that 25 people tried to check.
250.
250 reservation.
Yeah. Y'all know it's 8.30 p.m. right now?
Yeah, that's kind of awesome.
In the daytime?
It's 8.30 daytime?
I could still get some Warzone dubs in tonight.
For sure.
Sass, we should let it go.
Let it sing.
Oh, dude.
Hey, don't try to get in.
He won't let a professional basketball player in.
You think I'm running with you?
Like, let's be honest, Sass.
Yo, do you guys care?
Yo, yo.
Hey, boys, do you guys care if my boss joins the party?
You talk about the squad like every single night that you've got all four on all the night.
Yeah, these are my best friends.
Cook him.
Cook him, man.
We have other shit going on, too.
There's definitely times where we're like, yo, do we have a four?
That's the whole thing is they don't have anything going on.
It bounces in and out.
What are you throwing around, Big Cat?
I'm throwing around stinky shit for Steven.
Texas ass spray.
Are you good?
What's your PR?
Hold up, Rowan.
I was instructed that Texas...
We went back-to-back on Saturday.
Texas ass spray.
I'm talking to Kale's personal cast.
I'm a building individual.
Probably 11.
Four bags.
The Texas ass spray starts out smelling like BBQ,
and then it turns to ass meat.
So just be careful with that.
Jay pulled like a...
How did this happen?
This is what I don't like.
I guess I shouldn't even be asking.
Go ahead.
The people that...
I'm sorry.
No, no.
What's your question?
People following the show obviously know.
What is this?
I actually don't know.
What is this?
I know.
I'm assuming it's something from the wheel.
I can't call it either.
I actually don't know. It's something from the know. I'm assuming it's something from the wheel. I can't call it either. I actually don't know.
It's something from the wheel.
But, like, Steven has to go in.
You guys get to choose what goes inside.
Stinky Cloud or the Ace Race itself?
Oh, the Stinky Cloud.
Stinky Cloud was on the wheel.
And it's definitely a Nick or a KB's dumbass brain fucking coming up with.
I mean, the wet wheel, that's KB's dumbass brain fucking coming up with, I mean, the wet wheel, that's KB's brain.
A lot of these, like KB's wild obviously comes from him.
What's the most dramatic wheel in wheel history?
This seems like it's pretty bad.
I mean, Death of the Yak is on there.
I have a 2% chance if they hit my name wheel, it's Death of the Yak where we end the show forever.
Can I put we do a show
at my village as a thing?
Yes, yes.
Put your village on there.
I'll pull up to Zimbabwe for sure.
Steven, who was second?
I want to know who second on this was.
Steven, Steven, Steven, wait.
Steven, Steven, Steven.
No, that's not the start of it.
He just stubbed his toe on his way out,
and he's on all fours crying on the ground.
Oh, my God, dude.
How did we get that angle that fast?
It could not be more of a flush surface.
Goddard's doing that angle.
That was fucking scripted because he—
How did we get that fast?
At what point did he become barefoot, by the way?
He got jacked for his hands.
They robbed him for the Reeboks.
Reeboks, mid-calf, hands combo.
His mid-calfs.
What happened?
What just happened?
I puked from laughter.
In the mic.
In the mic.
I stubbed my toe. Wait, Steven. Are we starting? I puked from laughter. In the mic. In the mic. I stubbed my toe.
Wait, Steven.
Are we starting?
I have one question first.
Who was second place in this wheel?
Who could have been?
If this wasn't you, who would have been?
I don't know.
I know you know.
I know the data knows.
I don't think we would know that.
I traded.
No, but you wouldn't know who was.
No.
No, you wouldn't know.
I traded Kay for 20,000 pounds.
And then. He had to lift 20,000 pounds, and then.
He had to lift 20,000 pounds one day.
Everyone put their stinky.
All right, get in the stinky cloud.
I put fermented bean curds in there, and I found a year-old eggnog that was unrefrigerated.
And I poured the bean curd and the eggnog into a hat.
It was just back in the back bar, just sitting out.
Oh, in the office? It's over a year old, yeah.
Oh, my God.
So I mixed it with this fermented bean curd from lowering the bar.
So it was just me and Hank.
Can I donate a dreadlock?
Yeah.
Sure.
No, but your dreadlocks ain't stanky like that.
No, you got to burn it. When you burn them, they ain't stanky like that. No, you gotta burn it.
When you burn them,
they are the most foul smell.
Throw it in there
with Nick's pubes.
It can't be worse
than Nick's pubes, though.
Nobody better knock
that hat over
full of that gross shit I made.
My locks are thicker
and longer.
Oh, Chase Pukin.
There's a lot of
terrible smells.
Ew, ew.
The odors are horrendous.
Yeah, let's get
that door closed.
This is like so fucked up.
Nicky, close that door.
Close that door.
I mean, it's not going to help.
Oh, yeah, get the lighter for your pubes.
He's going to puke so much.
He's about to puke so much.
He's going to puke so much.
I don't have it.
I don't have it.
I don't have it.
It's so sticky in there. The balloons all moving around drink so much. I don't have it. I don't have it. I don't have it. It's so sticky in there.
The balloons all moving around is so funny.
It's on here.
It's on here.
It's on here.
Right here.
Right here.
KB.
KB.
Close that door.
Close that door.
The one smells like diarrhea so badly.
Oh, my God, dude.
It's so vile.
Don't start yet. Don't start yet. Mikey C., who comments all of our due punishments every day, my God, dude. It's so vile. Don't start yet.
Don't start yet.
Mikey C., who comments all of our due punishments every day,
this is for you.
This is the stinky cloud.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
You're just touching my hands a little bit.
I might have to go wash my shit.
I can't be.
Yeah, wash that shit.
Ron, close that door.
Close that door.
Zah just cut off his dread.
Yeah, that's pretty bold, right pretty bold right is adding one of his
dreadlocks to nick's pubes to be burned apparently and he said that there's nothing smellier in the
world than a burning dreadlock so this has been a pretty pretty low-key race it's been fun yeah
this is how it should be it should be just like Us hanging out Sipping some beers
Rather than like
Us getting blackout drunk
It looks like there's
A little smoke
From the body there
I agree
It smells so bad
Out there right now
It smells bad
In the room you're in
Connor get closer
It's the way
Big cat
Big cat
Close that door
Close that door
Go smell it
Yourself
You have to smell it
To get it to
It is Oh I'm good vibes right now I don't need to be smelling shit Oh it smells so bad in there Yeah, close that door. Close that door. Go smell it yourself. You have to smell it to get a taste.
I'm good vibes right now.
I don't need to be smelling shit.
Oh, it smells so bad in there.
But it's funny.
It's so bad in there.
A lot of us.
Slightly stupid.
Oh, my God. That's bad.
Fuck yes.
Levitate.
But he thinks there's going to be an explosion.
I try to light my pubes.
And he said, be safe.
That's what it is.
I've been like, I want to breathe in.
Stop breathing in. Is that crazy? No one was there. I've been like, I want him to breathe in. Stop breathing in.
Is that crazy?
No one was there.
Is that crazy?
We showed up with lawn chairs.
Me and Hank were at the same music festival.
There was probably 300 people there.
We were both there the first year of it.
No, just walked up with a lawn chair.
If I came up to you on the fourth floor, I was like, you're going to be my boss one day.
Oh, my God.
You can smell it in here now, too.
Do you have the candles? Yeah, yeah one day. Oh, my God. You can smell it in here now, too. Do you have the candles?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, that smells so bad.
I had to wash my hand, and my hand smells like fart.
I don't want to go out.
Spider, close that door.
You still in there?
I got another stink bomb.
Throw the stink bomb in.
Since when does that door close?
They kept throwing stink bombs in.
Stephen Che hasn't moved.
Stephen Che has just sat like a statue in. Stephen Che hasn't moved. No one will close the door.
It smells so bad.
Oh, it stinks in here now, too.
Che is yelling, fuck you.
He hasn't moved.
Bring the mic, KB.
See if you can bring that mic out there.
See how far that thing goes.
What is that?
Oh, is that like cologne?
Oh, it's...
Oh, fuck you!
I hear it.
I hear it.
It smells so bad!
That perfume smells like cucumber.
This is awful. It smells so bad. Oh, poor Jack. Oh, perfume smells like cucumber. This is awful.
It smells so bad.
Oh, poor Jack.
That perfume smells good.
It smells good in here.
Oh, you brought the smell in.
It smells really good in here.
Nope, that's okay.
There's so much diarrhea in here.
It's like a poopy skunk.
It smells like a diarrhea skunk.
Someone diarrhea in a bag?
What's my clock?
What's my clock? What's my clock?
What's my clock?
6.30.
6.30.
Almost halfway.
This was a five-minute deal.
Ten minutes.
Ten minutes.
Almost halfway.
He did try to negotiate the five minutes.
I don't know.
Is there a puddle on the ground?
A puke or what?
What is the clock at?
It was a five-minute deal.
So drunk, too.
He's hammered.
Oh, it's great seeing Che fucked up.
This whole thing is devolving beautifully.
I'm really enjoying it.
In a puke?
All right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Five minutes.
Close the door.
Close the door.
We're being merciful.
We're good with the spray.
With the sprays, it's good.
It's good.
It's good.
Jeez, that's horrendous. Is that a puddle of puke on the floor? I'm not sure good with the spray. With the spray, it's good. It's good. It's good. Jeez,
that's horrendous.
Is that a puddle of puke,
boys?
Close the door.
Close the door.
Close that.
Close that bed.
It smells so bad.
What the fuck are you asking me?
Claw that bed.
Claw that bed.
Don't at me,
CJ.
Don't at me,
CJ.
CJ,
Claw that bed.
He at me,
where the smell come from. Don't at me. Don't at me. Don't at me, Steve. He at me. Where the smell come from?
Don't at me.
Don't at me.
Don't at KB.
That shit is horrendous.
Black people are way cooler than white people.
Try to get the smell out.
Damn fucking right, little Sasquatch.
You are right.
Why, Sas?
Why?
No, what's he doing?
Oh, no.
What's he doing? No. no. What's he doing?
No.
These box of farts are the worst.
My man.
My man.
Wait, why did Chase stick his head out there?
He's got to stay in for the whole ten minutes now.
We got to go easy on that perfume because that shit is really strong.
Close the door.
Close the door.
Close the door.
Close the door.
You can't smell it in here.
Oh, God.
This is the worst.
Oh, shit.
That perfume is...
What's Kyle doing?
We stinky clouded ourself.
What is the yellow all over the floor?
I spilled whatever Kate put in.
Kate, what did you put in?
Kate found eggnog from Christmas.
That is one-year-old eggnog that wasn't in a refrigerator.
Oh, no.
I can't understand. What's he doing wasn't in a refrigerator. Oh, no.
What's he doing?
Take it to the cloud, dummy.
Reset.
Reset.
He's going to slip in it.
Four minutes, Steven.
I'm crying.
He locked it up.
He locked it up.
He's good.
He's good.
Oh, my God, Jay.
This punishment's been on the table since October.
You have to sit in it.
You have to.
And he also, I mean, I think we have him on the record saying,
I don't give a fuck about...
No.
He said,
I'm not intimidated at all
by the Stinky Cloud.
There's bugs just...
There's like flies
popping up out of nowhere
at this thing.
They're just spawning in.
This is like a sad art exhibit
or something.
Bring it.
If we put Che
in a white room
like this...
How's he doing this?
His eye's running out to make sure the hair is still burning.
What was that door, man?
You out there smell so bad.
Is that bad?
Candles I got sprayed.
Worst smell I've ever smelled.
I think you're good.
So bad.
Sass, you have to smell it.
Go, go, go, go, Sass.
Go, go, go.
So bad.
Worst smell.
Che is a bludgeon.
He's a bludgeon.
Connor, too. Worst smell. Connor's is a bludgeon. He's a bludgeon. Connor, too.
Worst spell ever.
Connor's just dealing with it.
It's the worst spell ever.
It's three minutes, 30 seconds left, Sash.
Come on.
Oh, my God.
It's so bad.
Oh, my God.
And there's so much, like, cover-up spray in this room that it also smells disgusting.
No, it doesn't help.
I'm going to puke just standing out there.
How is Steven doing this?
He's a hero.
Oh, my God.
That was...
Oh.
So I got to the door, and I had an initial smell that was like,
oh, it smells like diarrhea.
Oh, it's so bad.
And then I got out there.
It's just diarrhea mixed with...
By you, there should be...
Is there anything else we can add?
There should be a bag next to you, Kate, with a candle in it.
If we could light that off ASAP.
Melos, don't really do it for me, though.
I think I could do 20 minutes.
Oh, Zod's going for more.
Zod's going for more.
What does he do?
Does he do the fart spray?
He's lighting his dreadlock.
Oh, no.
Clams is the worst.
Bro, do you got some more fart sprays?
I poured it out.
I emptied the bottles.
I didn't spray them.
I cut the top off, unscrewed them, and poured them into the mixture that was in front of me.
How do I know this is going to end up with Kelly Keyes just being mad at us?
We're in the dog house.
He'll be mad.
Oh, my God.
What a smell.
It is so bad out there.
That is genuinely awful.
You know what it smells like?
It smells like when you're in elementary school and that kid throws up,
but then the janitor comes in and tries to cover it up.
Throws the sand over it.
Yeah, they try to mask the smell.
And it's just like now it smells relatively good.
It's in here.
It's in here.
It's in here right now.
Why is it in here?
It's so bad.
Why is it in here?
Jesus.
Oh, it just hit me.
It hit me dead in the face.
What the fuck is this?
This is total chaos, and I love every second of it.
It's eggs.
It's bad eggs.
It's fucking gross eggs.
Oh, my God.
Why is it in my face?
Oh, KB is going for it.
KB is going for it.
I just got it.
Fuck you guys.
Fuck you.
This is so bad.
It's eggs.
How did it get in here? You smell it's eggs. How did it get in here?
You smell it, Hank?
What's wrong?
How did it get in here?
Oh, my God.
I was just like enjoying everyone else going out there.
Oh, no.
Yeah, it's in.
It just hit me.
It's in.
Oh, it's in here.
Get in.
Every show?
Spider, get the candle.
Spider, get the candle.
Bring in the candle, Spider.
There's a candle by you.
Grab the candle.
Grab the candle.
Oh, it's terrible.
Oh, it's in here.
It's fully in.
Who's spreading it in here?
Who's spreading it in here?
Who's spreading it?
It's fully in.
It's so bad.
Wait, where's the spray?
We got to put more.
Where's the candle?
He just has a lighter.
Where's the candle? Spider, get it. Spider, get it. Zod. Where's the candle? He just has a lighter. Where's the candle?
Oh, my God.
It smells terrible.
Spider, get it.
Spider, go, go.
Tank puke.
Oh, shit.
Hank's throwing up.
Hank's throwing up.
It's so bad.
Zod's balls.
It smells so bad.
Light it, light it, light it.
Wait, Zod just took the lighter.
Zod took the lighter.
Oh, my God.
It smells so bad.
Oh, my God.
How's he doing this?
30 seconds.
Steven.
He got the lighter.
He got the lighter.
Peel that shit.
Close the door.
Close the door.
Oh, what is that?
What is that?
What did you just throw?
Is that bath bomb?
It's bath bomb.
Like that dog.
Close the door.
Close the door.
Close the door, spider.
Oh, my God.
This is so good.
Oh, no.
KP's throwing up.
Oh, God.
Yes.
Close the door, Spider.
Close the door.
I have a trash bag.
You gave me the trash bag.
Give me a trash bag.
Give me the trash bag.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Steven's out.
Steven's teetering like a wrestler who just got knocked out in the gym.
The candle's not making it better.
It's making it grosser.
Oh, God. It's making it so much more thick.
Spider's puking.
Spider's puking.
Spider's out.
Here comes Che.
Here comes Che.
KB's puking.
Oh, that smells terrible.
Leave it open.
Wave it out.
Wave it out, Che.
Che, go take a fucking shower.
Get out of here. Oh, my God. We need a fan. Wave it out, Che. Hey, go take a fucking shower. Get out of here.
Oh, my God.
We need a fan.
This show cannot go on.
We need a fan.
This room needs a fan.
Like, this show cannot exist.
Wave the door.
Wave the door.
All right, I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
I'll wave the door.
KB and Spider and Hank all puke.
Crying out of my...
Crying.
I was sitting in here blissful.
I knew how bad it smelled out there
based on your reactions, but I was like, yeah.
Keep it out there.
The second it came in here and it was rotten eggs.
That was so funny. Holy shit.
Rotten eggs is what killed me.
It smells so bad in here.
It smells so bad in here.
I'm going to go clean it up.
We need a fan. We need a clean it up. We need a fan.
We need a fan in here.
We need a fan.
No, keep the door open.
Tell Pickett we got it.
We got it.
Dude, Che is just... Che, I just walked out.
I went to take a piss.
I walked out and Che...
Che is shirtless, like, leaning up against Erica's office. Like, pressed against it. I walked out on Che. Che is shirtless, like leaning up against Erica's office.
Like, like, pressed against it.
I respect him.
That was the worst thing ever.
Dude, it smells terrible.
This was a tight race.
I hope you guys just ruined the office.
I can't deal with the egg. I can't deal with the rotten egg.
No, I smell the rotten egg.
Look at Che. Look at Che. Look at Che.
Pan the camera to Che.
We gotta find him. We gotta find him.
We went to the bathroom.
We went to the bathroom.
He was pressed against
the glass when I went out.
Look at him.
Look at Rob, our security guard.
Good, Che.
Steven, you good?
Mud like security right away.
Oh, shit shit I wish there were words to describe
This smell right now
It's impossible
It's so bad
That smells like the seven
Fucking hard boiled eggs
Tommy Smokes eats
Every morning
Throw it up Got a simultaneous boot boiled eggs, Tommy's smoke seats every morning. No. No road. That's near no road.
No throwing up.
Yeah, buddy.
You got a simultaneous boot.
Simultaneous.
Yeah, buddy.
Get it up.
Get it all out.
It's what I was doing.
No, we can't continue on like this.
You throw up, dude.
That's a lot of fluid.
I'm going to throw up again.
This is the worst.
It's got to be something from Breeze or something. We need a fan. We need a fan in this room. That's a lot of fluid
Febreze is not mixing with it
Still here
I'll tell you what they're not doing
Senior one here end End the show.
Can't end it.
We still have to play.
Oh, no.
We got to play.
OK, OK, OK.
Salad. Oh, my God.
My bad.
That's on me.
I'm the rookie here.
I'm the rookie here.
Hand up.
That no.
Oh, my God.
That's top three.
One of the worst smells. It's not getting better. Oh, my God. That's top three one of the worst smells.
It's not getting better.
Top three.
Just getting more fragrance, which is worse.
Guys, I'm so stuffy this has an effect.
You don't even feel it?
It's so bad.
It's terrible. I'm not even kidding.
That's one of the worst things I've ever smelled.
Smells don't really get me.
This is getting me, though.
I feel nauseous. Dude, the Febreze is making it worse. I don't really get me. This is getting me, though. I feel nauseous.
Dude, the Febreze is making it worse.
I don't even smell Febreze.
All it smells is ass meat.
Rome, close that door.
Close the door.
Close the door.
How are they out there?
I'm not going out.
I should have never bought that.
It's Chernobyl outside.
Honestly, that's on me.
This lobby is going to smell for three weeks. I purchasedobyl outside Honestly that's on me This lobby
This lobby's gonna smell
For three weeks
I purchased that spray
That's on me
Hand up
Yeah yeah
That lobby's gonna smell
For six weeks
Six weeks
Close it
Close it right behind you
Like it's on you
Oh
That's dookie milk
Ah
It's not getting better boy
That is straight
Fucking diaper fluid, man.
Come on now.
What do you need?
Heavy beers?
Oh, yeah, get that.
Dog milk.
Get that out of here, man.
Oh, my fucking ass fuck.
I took my bib down for a second.
Jeez.
That smells... Christ. That smells...
That smells like what I would have...
Spider, you're way better at taking that
off and just adapting to it.
Close it. Close it. Close it.
What a legend.
Even go clean it up.
What are we going to do for the delivery guy?
The delivery guy can't
walk into this.
Oh, you're right.
I puked instantly. I puk're right. I puked instantly.
I puked. I just puked too.
Over a gallon of fluid.
You see me? I walked out and I started smoking.
Che, blow that out and then relight it.
The smoke will help.
You're right.
Go clean it up.
Go clean it up though.
Now your mic's out in the hallway lying on the ground next to your puke scene.
That was a disaster.
No, what's the ingredients in that?
Just straight bar spray?
Yeah, get that candle over here.
Blow that out.
Where's the lighter?
Blow that out.
Where's the lighter?
Light work.
Light work.
Where's the lighter?
Where's the lighter?
The smoke makes it smell better.
Che, do you have a lighter?
Where's the lighter?
We need incense.
Put that around.
Close the door.
Close the door, Che.
Che, Che.
Where's the lighter?
Someone give me the lighter.
It's got to be up over there.
It's like when the bus was filled with shit and we just ripped tobacco.
Yes, it's exactly the same smell as that.
Oh, you're right.
This brings me back to Milton so hard.
Someone have cigs?
This is such a throwback.
Yeah, we should smoke cigs.
No, it smells so fucking bad.
I walked out there and puked instantly.
It's bad.
I walked upstairs and smelled better, and then I came back down, and it's...
Who's got the lighter?
Who's got the lighter?
We can hear you.
Yeah, we need that lighter.
Where's that big lighter?
It's off his...
It might be...
Jay held his breath the whole time.
For ten minutes?
Yeah, for ten minutes he held his breath.
This room smells worse.
Oh, that smoke's hitting me finally.
The smoke smells good.
We need another lighter.
I know, I need a lighter.
Who's got a lighter?
Who has a lighter?
There's a huge lighter in the room somewhere.
Honestly, the biggest help was Nick's pubes.
Dude, if you're going to light shit on fire, just light him.
Easy.
Che.
You're welcome.
What a performance.
God, that just turned so bad on us.
Yeah, we fucked up big time.
Good news is we got it directly next to the studio.
Hey, good news, boys.
We got a shitload of West African food coming.
Yeah, I'm ready to...
I'll help with the smell.
Thanks, huh?
Yes.
All right.
Oh.
We don't have a lighter.
Spider's got one, I think.
I want everybody to get to 20 beers.
Spider got one.
20 beers.
Dude.
We're way past 11.
I've had like four beers since then.
How many do we have left?
Shout out to Nick.
What a champion.
It's both of us.
I can't believe you didn't puke, man.
I almost did several times.
Nick, is that two belts for you?
Have you won the case race?
Yeah.
I've not.
First belt.
And Che, what about you?
Second belt. Congrats. You won, what about you? Second belt.
Congrats.
You won last time, right?
Thank you.
We won technically
the first time in the booth.
We won that shit ten times.
It was like asterisk, so.
Dude, we need more of this.
Legitimate victory.
Yeah, it's bad.
I'm excited about it.
Holy ass meat.
Do you guys always smell that bad?
That feels good.
You guys are all pussies.
Except for me.
Alpha.
Up G.
Can you zoom in on me?
Shout out to Andrew Tate.
Look at my face.
Look at the Tates.
The cries.
Big Cat legitimately...
Did you guys see that?
Big Cat legitimately puked outside.
Exactly.
I said I did.
The minute I walked out, I puked because I fucking...
Stephen Chay.
It's something that Andrew...
I'm a first timer, but we very much got I fucking saw it. Stephen Chay. It's something that Andrew would say.
It's my first time, but we very much got that in the film.
What is something he would say?
Like something racist about Asian people.
He would say some shit like.
Yeah.
I don't know.
What would he say?
What would he say, Ron?
You don't know what he'd say.
What would you say, Seth?
If I was Andrew Santino?
I mean, he does a podcast with Bobby Kelly, right?
Bobby Lee.
Bobby Lee.
Sorry, my bad.
Pretty much art. Who's Bobby Kelly? Bobby Kelly. Bobby Lee. Sorry, my bad. Pretty much art.
Who's Bobby Kelly?
Bobby Kelly is one of the funniest comedians ever.
You're wearing a Bills hoodie.
Crew neck.
Andrew Santino is very funny.
His special was awesome.
Yeah.
Cheeseburger?
Your special.
Cheeseburger?
Shot by a policeman.
I'll be honest.
That was kind of funny.
It wasn't very funny, but it was a little bit.
What? Video.
What video? The video that you liked.
It's funny.
I thought it was a little bit funny, but not crazy.
How did you not puke?
You just weren't breathing in.
I don't feel like you.
You weren't breathing in with your nose.
That's good. That candle works.
He's breathing in his mouth.
Dude, I smell homeless
people. I've done this for like
12 years.
Yeah, word, word.
Hey, hey, who threw a diarrhea pill
in there? That was fucked up.
A diarrhea what? A diarrhea pill.
There was a diarrhea pill that was thrown in there.
Oh!
Let's get the Roomba. Yeah the room yeah get the room but hey but
we have to keep our feet on the ground you go get the room but we have to keep our feet on the ground
is the rule che a diarrhea pill yeah what is that does that smell somebody threw a pill in there
that's what do you mean like diarrhea no it was that smell very clear. Who has diarrhea pills? I did it. Who has diarrhea pills?
I had a diarrhea pill.
I don't know if I'll ever get the smell out of my nose.
It's fine. It's not bad.
I think much like when Big Ed was pissing in the sink,
I think you're catching an email.
Yeah.
I think his office is...
From who, though? You?
People are going to come in tomorrow and be like,
this smells horrible. Every person that walks in. Who's sending the email, you? For this? Someone, people are going to come in tomorrow and be like, this, like.
Who?
Sounds horrible.
Every person that walks in.
But who was sending the email, though?
Erica.
Oh, it was like Vibs did the fish, and then.
Pickett was pissing in the sink, and Erica was like, all right, we can't.
Yeah, no, that was the closest of everybody getting fired.
Yeah, you were nowhere close to getting fired.
They sat me down.
They're like, if you keep pissing in the sink, it's like a very big problem.
Oh, shit.
Oh, look at this.
It's a Roomba.
Oh, shit.
This is awesome.
They're all Spyderco knives.
Very, very awesome.
Aren't we supposed to bet on this, though?
Yellow won.
No, they're supposed to.
Yellow first.
Black on black first.
Black on black first.
No, say who lasts the longest. Don on black first. Black on black first. Say who lasts the longest.
Dollars.
Knives.
Last balloon wins.
This is awesome.
All right, this balloon under Hank right here.
We're going next.
We're going next.
50 on red.
50 on red.
I love this show.
I got 50 on red too.
I love this show so much.
50 on red.
Kick the balloons out.
That's not looking good on me.
I got blue.
How is that not popping?
It was teasing that cardboard.
It's destroying this plastic bag.
It's taking it for a ride.
Whoa.
Come on back.
I just want to say I can't wait until the delivery guy walks in here.
And it smells the poopy butt smell and then sees the Roomba with the knives all over it.
Is he close?
He's probably Senegalese.
Won't complain.
Senegalese bros are chill or what?
That smells like.
Che, kick that.
Che, kick that.
Kick it towards the center.
I'm not going to pretend like I know, but that smells like.
Don't touch it.
Don't put your hand down there, dummy.
Hey, put your hand down there.
Set it right.
That says the perfume, I think.
Oh, should we do a hoon break?
It died.
It just said bye?
We just have rolled a...
GDs.
Just think about what we're doing for a second.
We all got Hammered drunk
Made someone sit
In a fucking
Chamber with stink
And now we have
A Roomba with knives
The best part about this
Is that we don't have
To come in tomorrow
This is another fucking day
Kind of good vibes though
Yeah great vibes
I think there's been no
Everybody has to keep
Their feet on the ground
The best part about this
The best part about this
Is that we don't have to come in tomorrow,
but everyone knows that Hank's not coming.
You can touch it regardless.
Yeah, you don't work.
You ain't working on a Friday.
You ain't working on a Friday, brother.
You guys walked upstairs on a Friday?
No, I haven't because there's no one there.
It's the most respectable thing on the third floor.
I tip my cap.
Sometimes I'm here on a Friday.
I'm like, not a sick day.
I come in on a Tuesday, and I'm going, where's Hank?
And everyone's like, oh, he's on. He's in
fucking Miami. Golfing.
He's working on content
in fucking the Hamptons right now.
Oh shit, here it comes.
Alright, we're going to get yelled at.
Did anybody throw up?
All of us threw up.
I threw up. Literally everyone threw up.
I got a waft of
rotten egg. Hank, Roan, Hank and the spider. Oh no, I didn't. Literally everyone threw up. I got a waft of rotten eggs. Hank, Roan, Hank, and the spider.
Oh, no, I didn't.
I was the favorite, too, and I don't think I did.
I know that I didn't rather.
Did you throw up?
I'm not even near throwing up.
Hey, let's get some celebrities.
Yeah.
Celebrities?
Let's get Will Compton on the line.
All right, yeah.
Oh. Brendan's ready to call in when he wants. Oh, Brendan's on the line. All right, yeah. Oh!
Brandon's ready to call in when he wants.
Oh, yeah.
Brandon's saying that he said 25 people
tried to cancel his reservation.
He updated it to 250.
250 people?
All Brandon.
I love Brandon.
Who else?
Who else?
You should probably turn the vacuum off.
Oh, no, no.
Keep it on.
Get back out, Steven.
Oh, God.
It's crazy how much...
You look like Andrew Santino.
Every part of him.
I can't get over it.
I can't get over it.
I texted Santino.
I was like, everyone keeps saying I look like...
If you took away the red nose, it would be...
What are his goofy asses?
It would be uncannable.
It would be uncanning.
You know who was in the office?
Kick it out, Steven.
Kick it out.
What do they have?
The same?
The same hair beard line?
Yeah, same beard.
Hey, those knives are expensive.
Be careful.
I'm going to say it.
I think Verona has the best face, man.
Kick it out, Steven.
Kick it out, Steven.
Kick it out.
I just did.
Dump it.
Oh, but don't kick it too hard.
Dude, your main knife is out.
Kick it again.
That's my main knife.
Kick it, man.
Hey, go easy, brother.
There you go.
You kick that like you're trying to kill a fucking cockroach.
Destroyed right now. There's go. You kick that like you're trying to kill a fucking cockroach. Destroyed right now.
There's only two knives left of neither of them are even off of the room.
How is it not popping that?
Brandon's on.
I'm going.
Hey, no.
Hey.
I love Brandon.
Hey, birthday boy.
Hey.
How's the birthday been, man?
Are you on Zoom?
It's been great.
No, I'm on the phone.
Show us your dick. You won, man? Are you on Zoom? It's been great. No, I'm on the phone.
Show us your dick.
You won't.
Dump it out.
I'm not on Zoom.
Brandon, we want to see your cock, brother.
Get it hard and dump it out now.
Come on now, Brandon.
Dump it further.
Are y'all having a good time?
Who's winning?
Brandon, you have enough time to think about what a six-weight is, brother.
Yeah, you didn't know early.
I haven't.
Who won the case race? Kay and Nick won.
Kay and Nick.
Brandon, how many people called the restaurant?
250 people.
How did you first hear about people calling about the restaurant?
At about an hour after the yak, the restaurant, the girl doing the reservations called me and asked me if I was having problems.
And I said no.
And she said people were calling and canceling my reservations.
She had had about 75 calls to that point.
Was she under distress?
Joke's on them, right?
She didn't have a great day.
What does she look like? Is she hot?
Okay.
Brandon, I'm sorry that's annoying
as hell. I hope you had a good birthday.
Yeah, was the dinner good?
It was delicious. I had
a steak. I had a ribeye. It was fantastic.
What's coming next? What's happening?
Brandon, be honest. Does she look anything like her
realtors?
Similar, yeah.
All right, there you go.
There we go.
A hostess.
I mean, that's a given.
You don't get the hostess job unless you're smoking on.
So we got some knives on a Roomba right now, Brandon.
We're really missing you.
Yeah, I miss you guys, too. I'll be back
Monday or Tuesday or maybe next week or maybe not.
Yeah, we're wasted. We miss you
and we understand if you hang up.
Wish you were here, Brandon.
Brandon. Is that Frank the Tank, Zach?
Yeah.
He just punted the Roomba.
Hey, Brandon.
The entire
office smells bad.
Brandon, don't come back soon.
We're going to get a big trouble.
We're going to stunk up the office with something nasty.
Yeah, yeah, what's your question?
Talk to us.
Talk to us.
We're all locked in.
Big trouble.
Who's the drunkest person in the room?
Jay.
Yeah, Steven.
Really?
Yeah.
Brandon, believe it or not, Brandon, I'm probably not even top ten right now.
Brandon, we did Stinky Cloud.
Top ten.
Is there ten?
Yeah.
Hey, guys.
Watch this.
Thanks.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Brandon, I'm with you.
I'm with you.
They're all wasted.
Put on me.
Put on me.
I understand if you hang up.
Brandon, KB's been drinking since he was 10.
Don't do that.
A little lower.
Yeah.
Now he's lighting perfume with a lighter now, Brandon.
If you can't imagine.
Brandon, you would love this.
See you next week.
Okay, buddy.
Hey, man.
Hey.
Brandon, Brandon, Brandon.
It's Nick here.
What are you doing tonight?
Probably my wife. Yeah. Oh, shit, it's Nick here. What are you doing tonight? Probably my wife.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Big old titties.
Big old titties.
Top ten, not even top ten.
Brassass, drunk.
Your wife's tits are top three.
Well, yeah, there's two of them.
But, yeah, they're good. All the time? Or top three on what scale?
In my family, I would say.
Oh, that's gross.
All right, brother.
Hey, you're the goat.
We heard you.
We heard you, brother.
Yeah, your wife's sister.
She's got big old titties, too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no, no.
Happy 56th.
We didn't mean none of that.
I have bigger titties than your sister.
Brandon, hey, it's Nick.
Pause.
Brandon, let's take it down a notch.
It's Nick here.
Brandon, just between you and me.
Just you and me here.
Everybody else has their iPhone.
Brandon, you're here, right?
Brandon, Nick is the drunkest by a lot.
I'm a bunch of motherfucking ants.
Listen to Nick.
Brandon, listen real quick. You got it. Listen to Nick. Brandon. He's got to be gone.
Brandon, listen real quick.
You hung up.
You got to think. No, I know him.
As soon as Sam starts talking about this.
I know him.
He's still on.
He hung up.
Brandon, listen to this.
He's more defensive about his wife's sister than he is about his wife.
He's off the line.
Brandon, listen.
Nick's got something.
His wife's sister?
There's just.
Tell him.
There's a quandary of marrying a woman with giant
natty titties Brandon listen
well you don't have to speak don't even actually
don't respond don't respond Brandon but you
know giant natty ruins doggy
I beat Ed silent
Brandon it ruins doggy and doggy
is a good position
speaking of doggy that smells like dog
meat outside yeah it's
Brandon don't even chime in yet.
Brandon, wait up.
Wait up, Brandon.
Brandon, Brandon, Brandon.
Be quiet for now.
We got more.
We got more.
All right, shut up.
Brandon, be quiet.
Be quiet.
We got a little bit more.
Do not want to fuck a girl with big naturals doggy style.
Don't react to that, Brandon.
Don't react to that.
What a waste.
What a waste.
You don't get to see the naturals.
You don't get to see the naturals.
What, Jay? What are you saying? That's the worst thing of all that. What a waste. What a waste. You don't get to see the natural. You don't get to see the natural. What, Che?
What are you saying?
That's the worst take of all time.
What is?
Hey, haven't you had sex like three times?
You had hands?
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Is Che offering to throw hands?
Terrible take.
Terrible.
Che has had sex 10x the times you've had sex.
I'm only true.
Yeah, I hope.
10x.
I would hope so.
Che's like 20 years older than me.
Do you have hands?
Yeah, do you have hands? Do I have hands?
My man.
I said when he watched American Doggy, his hands are only on his hips.
I don't think it smells.
Fucking like Peter Pan.
I don't think it smells ever going away.
That is actually how I fuck.
I fuck with my hands on my waist.
Jersey Jerry said make it perfect.
I cross my arms and I go,
Double up.
Exactly.
One hot to the left.
Two hops this time.
Right foot.
Hands on your knees.
Hands on your knees.
Everybody now.
I think that if we open the door on the far end and the,
Oh, this poor cleaning lady.
Oh, I feel bad.
Connor.
We got to bless her.
We got to bless her.
Let me pour a little dish soap around her.
Oh, she's covering her ears.
Oh, I feel bad for her.
Dude, this smells never going away.
Someone go over to this turn.
It's not going away.
No, Sass, you got three ones.
I got three bucks.
Don't give it to her.
Don't give it to her. Don't give it to her.
Who threw the diarrhea pill?
Who threw the diarrhea pill?
What is a diarrhea pill?
What is that?
Diarrhea pill.
Dreadlock.
Oh, man.
This smells never run away.
I lit one of the dreads on fire and threw it underneath.
Their fault.
This office needs windows.
Like, maybe if it had.
I got my 2019 AP photography card.
There's no windows here.
No saving us.
You got my test results.
You need both doors open, and those are a block away from each other.
Oh, no, Connor.
That's on 28th and 27th Street.
Can we spin the wheel?
Yeah.
Spin that motherfucker.
This smells never good.
What did you guys expect out of that question?
What was this supposed to be?
I expected that answer, and I liked it.
Exactly.
You had the same thought in your head.
I did?
Oh.
No, KB didn't want to offend Che.
Dry.
Dry his head.
It's out there.
It smells so bad.
It is never going away.
Ever.
I'm going to end up being sick.
It's like.
You threw up.
Rose, big cat.
E, K up, bro. I was throwing up rice jaw off before it even got here.
You guys suck.
You didn't drink at all.
Oh, man.
Actually, I guess I'm on beer.
It's true that no one upstairs shows up on Friday.
So, like, that part...
Here we go.
Like I said,
one person walks in and they're just gonna be like, why does it smell like this? shows up on Friday. So like that part. Here we go. Here we go. Yeah, but like I said, someone's got to justify
One person walks in
and they're just going to be like,
why does it smell like this?
I don't know.
I'm not worried about shit.
Hank, you're on.
Dude, I hate to break it to you,
but brother, you're close.
You're getting there.
What?
Thin ice?
Thin ice?
Fired?
I've been talking to like
high ups.
Erica, Dave, Dan.
Open arms. We call them Dan when we're referring to them as high up. Erica, Dave, Dan. Open arms.
We call them Dan.
We're referring to them as high up.
Hey, call Erica right now.
Give the phone to Sass.
Erica, give the phone to Sass.
Let me talk to Erica.
Let me talk to E.
I didn't know phones.
Let me talk to E.
Let me talk to E.
My phone's in the stew.
It's actually about time.
I actually don't have my phone.
That mini linked up like this.
Hey, you guys met.
It is.
You got high in time.
I got a lot of ideas.
Big Cat, how you feeling, man?
I'm just like, thank God we did this thing.
I'm so sober and you guys are off.
Imagine we did this thing.
You're way above.
Well, everyone was amazing.
Hey, wait.
All right, so if we're not going to do celebrity name.
No, we are.
We are.
We are.
We are.
We are.
We are.
Let's jump to salad bowl. No, no, no. going to do celebrity name. No, we are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. Let's jump to salad bowl.
No, no.
Let's do celebrity name.
That could take a long time.
Let's do salad bowl first.
No, we can get celebrity name, guys.
We can do this.
How many?
Everyone just go around.
How does it work?
You say a celebrity name.
EJ?
I'm going to keep drinking.
This is the thing you guessed, the John Madden thing? Yeah. It's the the thing you guessed The John Madden thing
Yeah
It's the thing I guessed
The John Madden thing
It's doable
That seems impossible
No
That was fake
Oh my god
It smells so bad
Close your mouth, Mo
Too many teeth, brother
I do
It was real, but I don't
It's tough to believe
At some point You can't to believe. At some point...
You can't fake those reactions.
At some point, there were multiples.
So a couple guys had repeated, and John Madden came on twice,
and so I knew it was going to be on.
But still, like, one in...
That's probably still one in, like, 400 likely.
That's better than what it seemed like.
How many lottery ball balls are there?
Right, exactly.
Oh, God. Damn, Nick. You don't ball balls are there? Right, exactly.
Damn, Nick.
You don't have to... Wait, Hank, have you got the lottery ball?
You don't have to dummy him like that.
Lottery ball?
God, Hank, you're so stupid.
It's a bit, though.
That's a bit.
Yeah, that's a bit.
I might be the least educated person
at work to this office.
Jersey Jerry might be...
I don't know if he went
to college or not.
No, he didn't.
So he might be
a little less.
You actually,
how many years
of college did you go to?
Six months.
Six months.
So you're a little less
than me.
What did you do?
What did you do?
I did a year.
I did a year too.
I did a year too.
Six months.
No, I did a year.
I did six months.
I just asked you
six months.
Who's got more credits?
I say six months.
Go down to the credits.
I showed up year one, dropped two classes instantly,
dropped one class second semester.
Dude, my GPA was so good.
My GPA was so good my first six months
that when I stopped going to class the last six months,
my GPA was not even that low.
Nick's going to throw up.
Yeah, probably. It's wasted.
I love it.
Sometimes I think that I'm talking to people
that are... EKB and Ron are going to meet after this and we're going to do
a little writing session.
Oh yeah.
We're probably going to
hit an open mic. We're going to write a skit.
I'll do an open mic tonight.
Yeah, you want to? Yeah.
As Andrew Santino. We're going to text the bookit. I'll do an open mic tonight. Yeah, you want to? Yeah. Yeah?
As Andrew Santino.
Can we text the booker from the stand and go,
Big Cat's going up tonight?
I will.
Yeah.
You want me to?
Yes.
No, no, no.
You guys video chat?
I'll fluff.
I'll text him right now.
You will fluff.
You'll do it?
I'll say Big Cat's going up.
Che, would you do it?
No, don't.
Che, you would do it, right?
I've done it before.
You'd be mad funny. Steven, talk you do it? No, don't. Che, you would do it, right? I've done it before. You'd be mad funny if you did that.
Steven, talk into your mic.
Mic's a little in my chest.
I think Che would do it.
Do you have five, though?
Yeah, I've done stand-up before.
You have a tight five?
Do you have any with you?
Do you have a tight five or a loose five?
It's a Thursday.
Thursdays are big days for open mics
because there's not a lot of real shows going on.
I know you aren't.
Get that mic off your chest, though.
Okay, talk.
What was...
You've done stand-up before?
Yep, I have.
What was, like, the premise of your set?
Like, what was, like...
I did seven to eight.
Wait, what?
Do we know this?
I don't think.
I think we do.
I feel like I've talked about it.
Maybe, but I can't picture it.
No, I can't either.
But I used to work with at a stand-up show
similar to Owen, like, comics, coming in his apartment.
Wait, am I drunk or did you change your slur?
He is, but what did you talk about when you were doing that?
Was it like jokes?
I heard Owen.
I don't know why I heard Owen.
Does Owen run an open mic?
It's like, Owen, I just sprung the department.
I'm with you.
You're talking to Stephen.
Yeah, no.
Are you doing like hitter jokes?
Steven, who do you have going five in the draft and why?
NFL?
Yeah.
Tyree Wilson.
Wild card.
Anthony Richardson.
Oh, no.
Geneley Carter.
What?
Oh, yeah.
Me and you, buddy.
All right, go ahead.
I'm going to be a hanker on the Anthony Richardson number one overall train.
Big return. That's dead. You just did. That's dead. Listen to Miss Five. Hey, yeah. Me and you, buddy. All right, go ahead. Me and Hank are on the Anthony Richland number one overall train. Big return.
That's dead.
You just listen to Miss Five.
Hey, hey, that's dead.
Not dead yet.
No, no.
There's a mic in Astoria in an hour and 45 minutes.
Astoria, bro?
You have, like, off tee times?
No, I go on.
Yeah, he's got an app for open mics.
Adslava.com, and they give all the open mic times.
Tyree Wilson or Jalen Carter?
I mean, Jalen Carter.
Tyree Wilson, first defensive player, plus 500.
That's not bad.
Plus 500 what?
Anderson's going to get drafted before him, though.
Odds for what?
Him going first defensive player.
Can't get the smell out of my nose.
So bad.
Poor cleaning lady, dude.
I feel so bad.
We have to tell her.
Sorry.
She's.
Shade just started pissing me off, too.
It's awful.
I should go tip her.
Why?
Yeah, Nick's got it.
Tip her.
I like your purple glasses.
I don't know what the move is.
All right, I'll tip her.
You just have to cash.
You have to.
Can we get it?
It smells.
Sorry, yeah.
Yeah, I think you have to, but sorry.
Somebody come get her.
She's dancing like a stripper.
Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, do you remember when, like, a cleaning person stole from Big Cat?
Yeah.
Yes.
Do you remember that?
She was a smart girl.
Yeah, I do.
Smart-ass girl.
She steal.
Yeah, I see it all the time.
Like, literally his wallet.
For cash.
Yeah, from his wallet.
Oh, he's got it.
Oh.
We'll see.
I think, I'm not worried about, like, tomorrow's, it's a Friday, who gives a fuck?
I think.
On Monday when it still smells, that will be.
I'll walk in on Sunday and I'll walk in with, like, a, let's see what it smells like.
If it smells remotely bad, that means it's never going away.
Yeah, tomorrow's a Friday, so Hank doesn't come in.
Yeah, no shit.
Yeah, bro.
Sass is another barstool hater.
You're always on the road on Fridays.
You know how it is.
Che, go on.
Sass is another barstool hater.
What's your favorite barstool moment?
You're obviously a barstool guy now.
It's probably when the business insider...
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
When they got their minds together.
When they got some sense in themselves.
The bar stool haters.
Probably when those Business Insider publications came out.
Those geniuses.
That's because of the silly beast.
It was really hot in the cage.
You are a blood-lusting traitor.
No way.
I live in...
You'll never die for the stool and stripes.
I live in lead the stool, brother.
If you go to Massachusetts, it's different.
It's different when you're from Mass.
Rowan, what's your favorite Barstool moment?
You've been here a minute.
Rowan is...
Several cups of coffee.
Rowan is his moment, bro.
Yeah, what's your favorite Barstool moment?
Sass knows this answer.
You could tell him.
Yeah, it was when him and Caleb were on
Always Sunny
it's an easy one
oh fuck out of here
we laughed and laughed
what do you mean
fuck out of here
that actually happened
I know it happened
but that's not his favorite
Barstool moment
why would that not be
his favorite moment
what do you think
his favorite moment
is when he threw up
and released
the Cleveland video
you guys did
you showed it to me
oh yes
it was so fucking funny
yeah like we shouldn't put this out we watched that like a few years ago drunk at the bar it's so funny Cleveland video you guys did. You showed it to me. Oh, yes. It was so fucking funny.
Like, we shouldn't put this out. We watched that, like, a few years ago.
It's an hour-long video.
It's so funny.
I don't think it was funny.
It was very funny.
I think it was actually bad.
No.
No, it wasn't.
I'm good.
I just tipped him $400, so hopefully that...
Jesus.
Yeah, she's good.
Turn on the air, too.
Taz, give her some more money.
The AC wasn't on, so I turned it on.
She's about to have $410.
$403.
$403.
Yeah.
With your broke ass.
Stinky Cloud was horrendous.
No, I want to do Stinky Cloud again.
That's good.
Do it out on the street.
I just gave $400. Me trading that for a street. You gotta do it out on the street. I just gave him 400 bucks.
Are you trading that
for a future
unprotected one?
Is it the Steelers entry?
Yeah, Kate,
are you happy
that you, uh...
Yeah, that's probably
one of the best things
that ever happened.
Yeah.
That baby would've
come out smelling
like a tonsil stem.
I thought,
I was like,
I could smell it in here
and when I went out there,
like, you guys
aren't exaggerating.
That's one of, like, genuinely the worst smells I've ever smelled here and when I went out there, you guys aren't exaggerating that's one of genuinely the worst smells I've ever smelled
go walk out there
smell and then come back
and tell us if it's gotten better
I can't tell
did you guys see, those were Nick's pubes
lit on fire
they were his pubes
they were his pubes
I saw Nick in the bathroom trimming
said pubic region.
Those were a benefit because if those got lit on fire, they would-
Oh, no, Kate.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
It hasn't gotten better.
It worked.
Yeah, it hasn't gotten better.
The one single candle on the ground hasn't done anything.
I have tears in my eyes because it's that bad.
People are going to be so mad.
That poor cleaning lady, despite her come up.
Which one would have to answer some emails tomorrow?
Which one of you guys threw a legitimate diarrhea pill?
I don't know what that is.
Diarrhea pill.
It's a diarrhea pill.
Keep saying diarrhea pill.
I don't know what that means.
A legitimate stink bomb that smelled exactly like diarrhea.
Do you know what it smells like?
It smells like there's a cauldron, a big witch's cauldron full of diarrhea and puke that's being lit from underneath and boiled.
I'm pretty sure it was ruined.
I'm pretty sure it was ruined.
How do we get this smell out?
That smell is like never going away.
That smells like it's like permeated.
We're going to be so mad at me.
I'm going to have to own this.
That is so bad.
I'm going to have to fucking take a bullet for this team.
Poor security guard.
He's sitting on the couch dying.
I'm definitely getting a text from Erica being like, what the fuck?
I need windows.
This office needs windows.
I tried to open them.
On either end, we need to open those office needs windows. I tried to open them.
On either end, we need to open those two doors and get across.
Yes, yes.
Like, they're a block away, but it will work.
I won't leave until the smell is gone.
You'll stay here for the rest of your life.
I was upstairs.
I was like, damn.
Even upstairs?
Still upstairs? Yes.
While I was looking for a fan.
How do we fix it?
I got a candle. All right, I'm going to see if I can see Uber Eats' fan. How do we fix it? I got a candle.
I'm going to see if I can see
Uber Eats a fan.
What are we doing?
The one thing I missed was a fan.
If we're doing one of the things,
let's do it now. Let's do the celebrity
or salibo.
Salibo will be fun if we have
the wherewithal to write some clues
on paper and cut it up and put it into a bowl.
Have we talked about how Hank looks like Gaz fucked a ladybug?
No, I don't think we did yet.
Low key.
Is now the time?
There it is.
Go off.
Do a quick set.
Always.
What's the Gaz side?
I see the ladybug because of the colors.
What's the Gaz side?
Am I crying now?
2008 champions. Oh, because of the colors. What's the Gaz side? McGrath 2008 champions.
Oh, because of the black thing.
Anything is possible.
Yes.
Anything is possible.
I love Gaz.
The White Sox make it a little Billie Jean-ish.
Let's do six rounds of Slug Regenerate.
Let's go 200 clicks.
Okay.
200. I like it.
All right, Hank.
Start.
What does that mean?
You said the guess a name.
Guess a name.
John Madden.
You couldn't be further away.
That was pretty bad.
Che.
Drake.
I go again?
No, no, no.
We go around.
Roan.
Oh, Tom Cruise.
Jack Black.
Christy Brinkley.
Brinkley.
Michelle Obama.
Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Reggie Miller.
Sass, you're up.
Bob Dylan.
Nikola Tesla.
Steve Young.
Michael Caine.
Al Pacino.
Joe Pesci.
William Hong.
Plato.
Plato.
Louis Riddick.
Denzel Washington.
Whoa, Sass.
Close.
Why?
Kelly Clarkson.
Vince Vaughn.
Robin Quivers.
Red Cat, you're up.
Tom Hanks.
Scotty McCreary.
Charmillionaire.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Steve Young.
That's a double.
Denzel Washington.
Fuck.
Alfred Hitchcock.
Adolf Hitler.
Diddy Kong.
No.
KB.
Jason.
Ah!
Jason Segal.
What is P. Diddy?
Who is the guy?
Close.
Oh, give me Elon Musk.
P. Diddy.
Who is Denzel Washington?
Fuck!
M. Night Shyamalan.
Courtney Cox.
Fuck.
Francis McDormand.
David Arquette.
David Archuleta Millard Fillmore
Jennifer Aniston
Who is Denzel Washington
David West
Francis McDormand
Larry David
I'm not Chameleon
Oh yeah We're on his ass I think we can get this Yeah we can get it Francis McDormand. Larry Day. I'm not channeling.
Oh, yeah.
You're on his ass.
I think we can get this.
Yeah, we can get it.
Hold on.
I'm buying fans online.
No, it's mine.
What type of fan?
Somebody come get her.
James Gandolfini.
Like a stripper.
Alanis Morissette.
Give me Kutcher, Ashton.
Jessica Chastain and those.
Close, close, close.
Give me Denzel Washington.
Oh!
With that head, that head.
Milikunas. I was going to go Milikunas too. Not quite, not head, that head. Mila Kunis.
I was going to go Mila Kunis too.
Not quite, not quite, not quite.
M. Night Shyamalan.
You crazy.
You just got M. Night Shyamalan, Mero.
Eddie Kizintz?
Eddie.
Fuck.
Jodie Foster for the fours, the fives.
Come on.
Cuba Gooding Jr.
Fuck, that was literally my guess. Oh, we'll get it right now.
I'll be D.
Run it back, Spidey.
Run it back.
Cuba Gooding Jr.
You guys promise to do a round of Questlove?
Let's do a round of Questlove.
Let's do one round of Questlove.
Questlove.
All right, go, go.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Fitty.
Fitty.
I asked him for some drums
Go do a round of quest
Quest love
Oh Fitty's
In the club
Candy rapper
Damn
I'm gonna go with
Jack Kerouac
We're doing a round of quest love
We're doing a round of quest love
Give me quest love
Quest
Is there a quest love on there?
Quest love Reg there? Quest love
Less regrets none
I'll go Amir Thompson
Quest love
Quest love
What is Gwen Stefani?
Gandhi
Hello
Hitler bro
Kevin Hart It's a Bret Hart Gandhi. Hello? Hitler, bro.
Kevin Hart.
Not really.
It's a Bret Hart.
Wait, we have somebody downstairs?
Also, if Bret Hart, I'll take credit for that.
Are you downstairs?
Strombolis?
Oh, no.
This is pure ass.
I'm going to go handle it.
Shane's back.
Who's this?
This is Shane.
All right, great.
Thank you so much.
He's Hitler.
That is Hitler.
We should ask Shane.
Did you know his first name was Hitler?
Yeah, we're going to ask Shane when he walks by.
We're going to ask Shane.
Steve, open the door a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Open the door a little bit.
Who's picking next? Okay. It was Jay's pick. I think we can get this. It the door a little bit. Who's picking next?
It was Jay's pick.
I think we can get this. It's me?
I'm going to go with Denzel Washington.
My man.
That's a good strategy.
Someone go get Zah because the food's not here.
He's stuck.
They ran out of fish.
They ran out of fish?
Yeah, for the peanut butter soup.
We got one fish peanut butter soup.
Peanut butter soup?
Yeah.
Go get Zah. The food's not here yet. It hasn't left the restaurant butter soup. Peanut butter soup? Yeah. Go get some.
Who's not here yet?
It hasn't left the restaurant.
Should I order a pizza?
No, no, no.
Grab Shane.
Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane.
Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane.
We got to know the smell.
We need an unbiased source.
We need an unbiased source.
Unbiased.
Unbiased.
How bad is the smell?
Take the mic.
Take the mic.
Take the mic.
How bad is the smell, Shane? It's really bad? Into the mic. Take the mic. Take the mic. How bad is the smell, Shane?
It's really bad?
Into the mic.
Into the mic.
First take into the mic, Shane.
It's disgusting.
What about by your desk?
It was creeping.
It was creeping back there?
No, it's bad.
Oh, no.
It's bad.
I'm never leaving this office.
They were spraying some Febreze, though.
I bought four fans off GoPuff.
What's that trade quote?
As you get closer, we need the unbiased, like,
oh, it gets incredibly strong right down the stretch.
Yeah.
What was it?
Diarrhea pill.
Diarrhea pill.
We just snagged a diarrhea pill. What do you mean it was diarrhea pill? I don't know what diarrhea pill. A diarrhea pill. We just snagged a diarrhea pill at Bodega.
What do you mean you used a diarrhea pill?
I don't know what a diarrhea pill is.
I've never taken a diarrhea pill.
I thought it was like a fart spray.
I don't know what it is.
I think there is some fart spray, some fart bombs.
But you were at your desk.
You could start to smell it.
Shane, for the people watching this, it's as far away as you could possibly see.
All right, Shane, go out in the lobby, come right back, and tell us one to ten.
Ten being the worst.
I don't have to.
I just went by like three times.
No, but do it right now.
I'm being the worst.
It's a real-time update.
I just went outside.
It smells awfully.
How far were you away?
I went literally outside to the street.
What is nothing? Ten is the worst. Like a full waft, size class style. Where you away? We are I went literally outside to the street
Ten is the worst
Give it to us.
Honest.
10 being the most diarrhea.
I have no idea what he's going to say. Right now, it's like a 7.8.
Oh, that's fine.
We got this.
Before, I was...
No, but it went from a 10.
I just got a whiff.
It's much worse than a 7.8.
I was curious.
That's a 12. I just got a whiff. I just got a whiff. It's much worse than a 7.8. I was curious.
That's a 12.
13 at the least.
Yeah,
it might be an OSHA violation.
I smell coffee over top of it.
Like,
I smell like
Oh,
should we spill some coffee?
I have coffee.
Oh,
spilling coffee is good.
Oh,
you do?
All right,
I'm going to spill
some cell beat.
No,
that does mask it.
I mean,
that's what they use
when they're smuggling drugs.
Yeah,
go spill it, Sass. Spill it and clean it up. I want to drink it. I got Stella Blue right now. I mean, that's what they use when they're smuggling drugs. Yeah, go spill it, Sass.
Spill it and clean it up.
I want to drink it.
Oh, fuck.
So good.
So tasty is the problem.
So good.
All right, let's keep playing.
Let's keep playing.
Steven.
Steven.
It's a wrap.
All right, boys.
No, we're going to keep playing.
If we're playing salad bowl, I'm going to pass the...
We'll get two bags of Stella Blue coffee and just pour it out on the floor.
No, no, no.
The ground's by my desk.
Or they could be full beans.
Just pour them out.
I'll clean them up later.
I'll clean it.
Don't worry about it.
I'll clean it.
I'm not leaving until it's clean.
Why is there just like an unlit candle sitting next to it?
Oh, it's unlit.
It was supposed to be lit.
Light it, Shane.
Light it.
Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane.
Rounds or the other kind.
Rounds or whole bean, whatever.
So we're skipping celebrity games.
No, no, we have to.
Let's do two more rounds.
Two more rounds.
Two more rounds.
All right.
I'll start on me.
Okay.
Denzel Washington. Good get. I'll start on me. Okay. Denzel Washington.
Good get.
Wait, make it big.
Yeah.
That was the last one.
That was the last one.
We got this, guys.
I'm going to go with John David Washington.
Has anyone said Denzel Washington?
Viola Davis.
Cleopatra VI. Claudia Schiffer
Queen Latifah
Rosa Parks
Jack Kerouac
Come on
We gotta get this
We gotta keep playing it until someone gets it
This is
It drives me nuts
Wahlberg
Josh Hartnett
Twiggy
You dumb biggie
You got Twiggy
Gavin Rossdale
Great pick
Oh
So close
Lewald Dang
Not a lot of athletes
Vlee Oh, so close. Luol Deng. Not a lot of athletes.
Vlee.
Oh, what a lib.
Let's go, Big Cat.
All right, you're back.
What do you got?
Thank you, Shane.
Shane.
Shane, guess a celebrity.
Any random celebrity.
Random one?
Like living?
Yeah, yeah. Dead?
Yeah, anyone.
Or dead.
Anyone.
This would be the greatest moment in the act history.
Shane, this is big.
I would guess like olders.
Actress, yeah.
Actor or actress.
Paul Newman.
Yeah, good, good guess.
Oh!
Erika Badu.
She's fucking Audrey.
I'm going to go with Denzel Washington.
Give me Avril Lavigne.
Black.
How about Brad Pitt?
Halle Berry.
I want this so bad.
All right.
We just stay in a rhythm here.
We just fire them off.
Let's fire them off.
No, no, we're going to play Salvo.
Adam Sandler.
Go, fire off.
Everyone be ready. Michael Cera.
If you don't have anything, just say pfft.
Yep.
Charles Schultz.
Jake Gyllenhaal.
Fast.
Yeah, fast.
Fast.
Until Washington.
Seth Rogen Justin Stallone
Gary Busey
James Gandolfini
Michael Cera
Tom Brady
Come on
Oh
Oh fast
Shane fast
Shane fast
You got this
Fast
Have one in the chamber
Jake Gyllenhaal
Yeah good
Jack Kerouac Cut it open and just put it out In Pianotere You got this. Have one in the chamber. Jake Gyllenhaal. Yeah, good.
Jack Kerouac.
Cut it open and just put it out.
Ian Pianotier.
You know what?
French Ferdinand.
Put it right there.
I'll do it later.
Howard Stern.
Hey, Karen.
Put it down.
Win Latifah.
Shane, this is your last guess.
Edgar Yang.
Put it down.
Colin Farrell
Oh
That's so bad for you Shane
Thanks Shane
Neil Horan
Everyone have one in the chamber
No no wait
Let's do an Asian round
Alright
One Asian round
One Asian round
Impossible
How are we gonna do that
Let's do an Asian round
How can we do that
We wanna try
One Asian
We're all gonna know
An Asian
We'll go this way.
Asa Akira.
Shane.
What does it smell like right now?
Give me an Asian person.
I don't know any Asians.
Come out here.
Come out here.
Just cats.
Just cats.
Give you one?
I don't know.
You lit the candle.
Renee Zellweger.
All right.
Renee Zellweger.
Hey, Zellweger.
Jackie Chan.
Fuck, man.
That was mine.
That was mine. We have to do an Asian. That was the only Asian I had. B.D. Wong. Jackie Chan BD Wong are we doing a lemony snicket
let's lock in
everyone have
there's only
a finite amount
everyone lock in and have someone
someone in the chamber at all times
Steven lock in and have someone in the chamber at all times. Steven, lock in.
Everyone have the next thing.
If it takes you three seconds, you're out.
You're out.
Yeah, you're out.
You're out.
Asian round.
We can't do an Asian round.
After 11, he's sticking.
I'm out.
Do an Asian round.
Here we go.
Jonah Hill.
Have someone in the chamber, Spider.
Vladimir Putin.
Yao Ming.
Have someone in the chamber.
Let's go, guys.
BD Wong.
Sup.
Denzel Washington.
Tom Hanks.
Lucy Liu.
Bill Murray.
Post Malone.
Post Malone.
Henry Golding. Post Malone. Post Malone. Henry Golding.
Reggie Miller.
Jack Kerouac.
Gary Springer.
Gary Springer.
Go, pass.
Paul Schneider.
Gene Hackman.
Oh, you had it.
Gene Hackman.
Paul Schneider.
Lady Gaga.
Steve Aoki.
Cuba.
Murray Povich.
Bob Dylan.
Sarah Silverman.
Raquel Welch.
Larry David.
Roger Federer.
Donnie Yen.
My turn.
Rafael Nadal.
Denzel Washington.
Jackie Robinson.
Logan Lerman.
Whoa!
George Clooney.
Patel.
What the fuck?
Dev Patel.
Oh, shit.
We're so close.
Steven, you're black.
Lucy Liu.
Denzel Washington.
Francis McDormand.
Kevin Garnett.
Jesus.
Ben Affleck.
Michael Jackson.
Wait, whoa.
Oh, fuck.
Adrian!
Steve Jobs.
We already got Steve Jobs.
Eddie Murphy.
Jack Kerouac.
M. Night Shyamalan.
John C. Reilly. Owen Wilson. Dave Grohl. Bob Kerouac. M. Night Shyamalan. John C. Riley.
Owen Wilson.
Dave Grohl.
Bob Bernquist.
Jackie Chan.
Denzel Washington.
Fabulous.
And Stiller.
Jason Bateman.
Tony Hawk.
Fuck, he took mine.
God damn it, we're so close.
So close.
Pass.
Oh, man.
Chris Tucker.
Zach Kerouac.
Jerry Rice.
Chris Pratt.
Tim Allen.
Hulk Hogan.
Ellen DeGeneres.
Peyton Manning.
Denzel Washington. Fatboy Slim. Peyton Manning. Denzel Washington.
Fatboy Slim.
Andrew Dice Clay.
Tom Green.
Hailey Bieber.
Oh!
It was the same.
Same green.
Marshmello.
Tom Cruise.
Denzel Washington.
Hillary Schrank.
David Beckham.
David Letterman.
David Portnoy
Orlando Bloom
Hayden Panettiere
Denzel Washington
Uncle Hontas
Ryan Seacrest
Larry David
Johnny Depp
Ross Perot
Who was the one that played Star Wars
Amon H
Denzel Washington
Hayden Christensen
Karl Rove
John Travolta
Paul Walker
Vlad Guerrero
Adam Driver Natalie Portman Travolta. Paul Walker. Vlad Guerrero.
Adam Driver.
Natalie Portman.
Denzel Washington.
Mark McGuire.
It's Robin Quivers.
Willie Mays. John Stamos.
Dell.
Ray Mysterio.
Sean William Scott.
Richie Miller Miller Denzel Washington
Al Gore
William Tell
Tom Selleck
Oh that was going to be mine
Jason Biggs
Derek Jeter
Wait I got it
Tom from Myspace
I got it You got it? Penn from Penn and Teller I got it. Tom from MySpace. I got it.
You got it?
Penn from Penn & Teller.
I got this.
Oh.
Oh.
Okay, come on.
Denzel Washington.
Oh.
James Taylor.
Black.
Vladimir Lennon.
Ah.
I thought you had it.
I thought I had it.
I thought you had it.
Jack Black.
Don't worry. Bradley Cooper't add it. Jack Black. Don't worry.
Bradley Cooper.
Oh, Adam Sandler.
Anthony Kiedis.
Come on.
Big British comedian.
Flea.
Oh, no.
How did you think of that one?
Enzel Washington.
Oh.
Here's the fans.
You got it, Hank?
Come on, Hank John David Washington
Jimmy Carr
Brittany Murphy
Burt Reynolds
Joe Rogan
Jet Li
Show me Leslie Mann
Fans showed up.
Denzel Washington.
Bruce Springsteen.
Good guess.
Tom Cruise.
Don Cheadle.
Howard Stern.
Joan Shett.
Sam Rockwell. Cheadle. Howard Stern. Joan Shett. This is madness.
Sam Rockwell.
John Mellencamp.
Good guess.
Enzel Washington.
Richard James.
Memes?
Where you going, memes, walking so hard?
Memes!
Oh, he tried to sneak out.
I feel him blaming. I don't blame him.
Back in.
Memes.
One to ten, how bad does it smell out there?
Try not to breathe.
One to ten, how bad does it smell?
Breathe.
It's gross or what? Memes, memes. It's gross?
Smells fine.
That's celebrity.
Guess it's celebrity? Yeah.
Barbara Walters.
Yeah, good guess.
Oh!
Shit!
Thank you, memes.
I walked around there.
They said one guy said it doesn't smell bad now.
Then Max was like, it smells horrible.
Yeah, I'm fine now.
I think it's getting better.
Why is the African food?
Fans just showed up.
I bought four fans, so he's going to blow them everywhere.
Is it because we ordered $500 worth of it?
Yeah.
All right, let's go.
Keep going.
Keep going.
Come on.
Michael Jackson.
I said Michael Jackson.
Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Denzel Washington.
Fuck you.
Hideki Matsui.
Greg Popovich.
Ooh.
Gun speech.
Rivers Cuomo.
I love it.
Denzel Washington.
Oh, that's close.
John Travolta.
Tom Selleck.
Al Pacino.
Burt Reynolds.
Obie McGuire.
Emeril.
James Garfield.
Denzel Washington James Cameron
Fibonacci
Immortal Technique
Michelle Obama
Toby Keith
Do you guys want to do a round of rappers?
Round of rappers?
Yeah
Round of rappers That would be in this Yeah Round of rappers Round of rappers? A round of rappers? A round of rappers. A round of rappers.
A round of rappers.
That would be in this.
Yeah.
A round of rappers.
A round of rappers.
Chingy.
Chingy.
This way or which way?
Exhibit.
Denzel Washington.
Oh, bro.
Oh!
Dwayne Carter.
Fat Joe.
Ghost. Oh Joe. Ghost.
Rapper.
Tupac.
Sean Kingston.
Another, another.
A round of rappers?
Another round of rappers?
Yeah, another round of rappers.
Huff Daddy.
This one's on me.
All right.
Thank you, man.
I got this one.
Say order whatever you want.
Yeah.
E40 anything. Big L. Yeah, order whatever you want. Yeah. E40 anything.
Big L.
Yeah.
Order a big L.
Yeah.
Fine.
Do they even have it?
Do they have it?
Super Wallet.
I'll pay for that.
Oh, no.
Give me Gilly the King.
Oh, my God.
Tupac.
This is it.
Wallet. Oh, no. Tupac. This is it. Wale.
Oh no.
Nas.
Ludo.
Oh, come on, Spider.
All right, let's go around to politicians.
Okay.
Don't even worry about getting me back.
Dick Cheney.
George W. Bush.
Enzel Washington.
Oh, I guessed him earlier.
Al Gore.
President Xi of China.
Nelson Mandela.
Smoke.
Rubber.
Ronald Reagan. You said Nelson Mandela Smoke Rubber Ronald Reagan
You said Nelson Mandela
What's his name
Sarah Palin
Yeah
Sarah Palin yep
Alright what are we doing
Don't worry
Don't worry
I have a tab open
Round of
What should we do a round of
Basketball players
Olympians
Olympians
Olympians
Women Olympians
Pass
That's impossible
Yeah
No no
Ginny Thrash.
Marion Barber.
What are we doing around up?
Marion Jones.
Marion Jones.
Marion Barber was a running back.
He's a running back.
Cowboys running back.
Cowboys.
You're thinking of Marion Barry.
Marion Barber.
I was thinking of Marion Jones.
Marion Jones.
Marion Jones.
Yeah, yeah.
Margaret Thatcher. I think what of Mary Jones. Mary Jones. Mary Jones. Yeah, yeah. Margaret Thatcher.
I think what we have to do is all...
I think we should either just play Salable, and then we don't leave until we get this
right.
This is the one, guys.
This is the one.
All right.
Yeah, Spiders got it.
Everyone do their best guess.
Yeah.
Last round, best guess.
All right.
I will stay till the end after we get Salable.
Best guess you could possibly think of.
Here it is right all right
start us right at thurn piece thurnberg thurnberg whatever fuck i've been sitting on these are old
it's an i've been sitting on this one the entire time i've been sitting on this one the entire time
carrot top that's david bland was my next guess. Flojo.
Flo from Progressive?
Denzel Washington.
Vince Vaughn.
Oh, that's so close. So close.
There you go.
Oh, man.
Ben Schiaffone.
Oh, damn.
Oh, what?
Betty White.
I wasn't on it. I wasn't on it.
That's real.
We're hot.
We're hot.
Jonah Hill.
AH.
Damn it.
Martin Luther King.
Oh, I like it here.
JJ Abrams.
Jennifer Lopez.
Good, guys.
I got a good one.
I got a good one.
Denzel Washington.
I think I got it, guys.
You landed it.
Mary Antoinette.
I think I got it.
Oh, my God.
I got it. I think I got it. Roan. Michael Fassbender. You got it? I got it. Get it to the big I think I got it. Oh, my God. I got it.
I think I got it.
Roan.
Michael Fassbender.
You got it?
I got it.
Get it to Big Cat.
I got it.
That's a big one.
Go, KB.
Gene Wilder.
Come on.
I have it.
What do you got?
Jeff Daniels.
Oh.
Oh.
We're so hot.
Michael Phelps.
So hot.
We're about to get it.
Michael Phelps.
Fucking whore me.
Show me Jeff Dunham.
Michelle Williams.
Jack Kerouac.
Denzel Washington.
Vin Diesel.
Bruce Willis.
Matt Damon.
I love that. Let's do a round of M's.
A round of M's on Big Cat.
I'll start with Martha Stewart.
Zah, what you got?
Zah, Zah.
What's going on, Zah?
I was going to say Robert Mugabe.
We're doing athletes?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Zah, how does it smell out there?
Shirley Ann Fraser.
Hold on.
Shirley Ann Fraser.
That girl, Shirley Ann.
You're on the move.
There you go.
Are you guys still drinking?
Of course.
What time do you think it is?
It smells way better than it did.
Oh, let's go, boys!
Oh, boys!
I think the big question is going to be Sunday.
We're going to come here Sunday, and that's when it's going to be.
Kenzo!
Washington!
I think if we turn on the AC...
Tomorrow might be bad.
Tomorrow might be an issue. As long as there's air turning over, I think if we turn on the AC. Tomorrow might be bad. Tomorrow might be an issue.
As long as there's air turning over, I think we're good.
I bought four fans off GoPuff.
I think tomorrow's going to be an issue.
Hank, you're up.
You're up.
You're up.
Marie Antoinette.
Come on, guys.
Ali Baba.
Come on, guys.
Yonce.
Tom Hanks.
David Blaine.
We're due for a musician.
Should be Jimi Hendrix.
You already got Hendrix, bro.
Stay up.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
Nah, bro.
So close.
So close.
It's rolling around in my head.
I have it.
Come on.
Skip, skip, skip, skip John Madden
Frank Ocean
Howard Hughes
Daniel Day-Lewis
What is Prince?
Rachel McAdams
How about Jake Malasek?
Road, I'm going to do Louis Armstrong.
Will you say it for me?
Of course you know that I'll say.
I'll share with you.
Willie Armstrong.
We'll see you at two.
Friend of the show.
Oh, sure.
Let's stay in the Armstrong family.
Neil Armstrong.
Come on, Steven.
Bad.
You just got shown.
It's feeling like Denzel.
Denzel.
Denzel.
Denzel.
Shout out to everyone who's still watching.
Bjorn Borg.
Oh, that's you.
That's you, Hank.
Lawrence David.
Close.
Tim Allen.
Guys, we got to get it.
Johnny Knoxville.
Dolan Trump.
Alanis Morissette.
Ringo.
That's a good guess.
Maybe the actor who played him, but Al Borland.
Oh, Rodriguez.
I love Rodriguez.
He's a good musician.
Sugar man.
All right, I'm going to go with Denzel Washington.
Do you guys know Rodriguez?
You suck.
Do you guys know Rodriguez?
Diane Keaton.
Genghis Khan.
Cindy Crawford.
Elton John. Hurts me Crawford. Elton John.
Hurts me every time.
Elton John's go, oh!
Spider, closest yet, closest yet.
Give me Helen Keller.
Close, close.
You did last summer.
Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Block it off.
Oh!
I got one. Jack Kerouac. I it off. Oh. Oh. I got one.
Jack Kerouac.
I feel it again, Roan.
Oh, no.
James Franco.
I know what you did last summer.
Helen Keller.
Oh.
That's pretty close.
That's a dupe.
Britney Spears.
We just got Britney.
Ah. Dolly. Love Steve Ball. Silly. Greatars. We just got Britney. Ah!
Dolly.
Love Steve Ball.
Silly.
Great song.
I love Steve Ball.
Ollie Porton.
Final answer.
Snoop Dogg.
Bill Murray.
Rosario Dawson.
Love it.
Denzel Washington.
Ah!
Seth Rogen.
Ulysses Grant.
Silent Cow.
Dave Matthews.
Fuck.
Bondi.
You crazy horse.
Who's up?
Crazy horse.
LD.
Kind of.
I'm getting like actually mad.
I'm getting furious.
It's never going to happen.
Paula Abdul.
Come on, Roan.
You have it.
Do it for us, Roan.
I don't have it.
Rolling around in my head.
It's coming.
It's coming. It's coming. It's coming.
It's coming.
It's coming.
Elton John.
I feel it again, Roan.
I feel it again, Roan.
Me, Zendaya.
Albert Einstein.
Come on, Roan.
Come on.
I feel this.
Finish this.
Jimmy Kimmel.
Oh! Fuck! You were there. I feel this Jimmy Kimmel No
Fuck
I'm so angry
Kate give us some
Kate
Kate
Go make a list
Go make a list of
10 celebrity names
And we're going to just go Kate round
Yes
Yes
Kate save us 15 even names and we're going to just go Kate round. Yes. Okay. Okay.
Yes.
You can go back.
We need Kate.
Save us.
15 even.
Keep going.
Kate's got us.
Kate's got us.
Keep going though.
What is Glenn?
Big baby Davis.
Are you writing these down?
Yeah.
Spider's taking notes.
James Gandolfini. I want to make sure I'm prepared.
Big cat.
Oh,
Amy. It's got a polar. Oh, I have the answer. James Gandolfini. I want to make sure I'm prepared, Big Cat.
Amy.
It's got us.
Poehler.
Oh, I have the answer.
Ansel Washington.
I just thought of it.
Elijah Wood.
Chrissy Brinkley.
Aubrey.
Chrissy Brinkley.
Jamie Lee Curtis.
Joe Pesci.
Yes, let's go Spider-Man.
He's out.
Aubrey Hepburn.
Denzel Washington.
Damn, shame.
Let's guess them.
Idris Ibra.
Emmett Smith.
Tommy Lee Curtis. Oh. Is it Tommy Lee Curtis? I think it was Tommy Lee Curtis. Oh.
Ah.
Is it Tommy Lee Curtis?
I think it was Tommy Lee Curtis.
Amy Lee Curtis.
Amy Lee Jones.
Spike Lee.
Spike Lee.
Final answer.
Oh.
Fucking.
I was just about to fucking say Will Smith because he brought up Tommy Lee Jones because
that movie.
That was going to be my next guess.
It doesn't matter.
But damn.
If we're on the same mind space.
Shout out Peloton crew. Ally Love. love he said tom i love it was like i think you should get credit that's what i'm saying come on sass come on sass trying i'm trying jennifer aniston Oh. Michael Cera.
I want it bad.
I want it bad.
I want it so bad.
No, it's wrong.
Charlie D'Amelio.
Dan Aykroyd.
Oh, whoa, whoa.
Oh, we got that West African food.
Nicholas Cage. Until we get it.
Until we get it.
Oh, don't say that.
Don't say that. You can get food until you're a good boy. Oh, we got to get a seat until we get it. We're going to get a seat until we get it. Oh, don't say that. Don't say that.
We can get food until we're good, until you're a good boy.
Oh, we got to get it.
Did KB leave?
No.
Definitely.
You think so?
He's been gone for so long.
He has been gone for a while.
Oh, my beer's warm.
Shout out Big Ken.
Still drinking.
Yeah.
Well, so is Sass.
Thanks.
So is Roan.
As well.
Sass as well.
All right.
Come on, Steven.
You're up.
Lisa Kudrow.
Oh, I love it.
She's hot, right?
Like low-key.
Denzel Washington.
Here's KB.
Oh, come on.
Come on.
Ben Affleck.
Brad Favre.
Ben Aykroyd.
Cup of steam.
Cup of Joe. Whoopi Goldberg. How's the smell out there? Whoopi. an acroid cup of steam cup of joe
whoopie goldberg
how's the smell out there
whoopie
whoopie g
dude law
it's not bad
you can still smell it
for sure
alright
we're still going
I don't know
I need a fresh
Courtney
Cox
come on KB
we need this
good job
thank you
dude law
come on
Denzel.
David Spade.
Jimmy Kimmel.
Oh.
We need some big.
Jimmy Fallon.
We have to get.
Love that guy.
We have to get his big names.
Big old name.
Kate round.
Kate.
No, you say it, Kate.
You say it.
It's going gonna rip him off
Come on Kate
Denzel better not be in there
Hey you got this
Here we go Kate
Here we go Kate
I believe
Whitney Houston
If one of these kids
If this is correct
You have to name it your baby
She's going
Mark Twain
Angelina Jolie
Leo DiCaprio
Snoop Dogg
Will Smith
Halle Berry.
Tom Hanks.
Adlai Portman.
Mel Gibson.
Puff Daddy.
Bukayo Sake.
And then the last one is, oh my God, please end this or I'm going to kill myself and the baby.
I can't get another 15.
We need another 15.
I'm up.
Real shit. Oh, I got one.
I got one.
I got one.
You got one?
Walt Disney.
Oh, I love it.
Strategically, we should only say people who have been chosen.
All right, been chosen round.
We got to get the salad bowl.
How is Denzel not been up yet, Ron?
Can I grab one of those? We got to get the salad bowl. Is that utens nopping up yet? Can I grab one of those?
We gotta get the salad bowl
That's hot as fuck
Big Cat, eat the peanut butter fish soup
Okay, open your mouth
Alright, let's go guys
Come on
I'm trying to throw some tin foil in your mouth
Come on
How bad is this show right now, TJ? Come on. Tin foil. I'm trying to throw some tin foil in your mouth. Come on.
How bad is this show right now, TJ?
Yeah.
What?
Some Jola?
Bon Iver.
Bon Iver.
All right.
All right.
Listen, I can't pick. Let's play Sal.
We can't pick anymore.
We're done.
No, no, no.
We lost.
We lost.
No.
No, no.
Paris Hillen.
All right.
One more. Denzel Washington. Denzel Washington. Let's play Sal,. All right. One more.
Denzel Washington.
Denzel Washington.
Let's play salad bowl.
Rosario Dawson.
Renau.
Jack Kerouac.
Jack Kerouac.
All right.
Everyone eat a little.
Then we're going to play salad bowl.
Then anyone who wants to stay until we get it will stay until we get it.
That's what we got to do.
Troy Palomalu.
People.
This is going to be a five hour episode
No no no
This might be our 12 hour episode
I might be
I'm dying I think
Oh
I will stay here until we get it
And if it goes 12 hours
We can knock that off the list
TJ what should we do right now?
What's the best thing I should eat?
The rice?
Where's the forks?
TJ what should we do right now, TJ?
I don't know.
What was that?
I don't know.
How bad has it been?
Great.
Okay, so...
I say we eat and do one round of soluble.
Yes.
TJ, let's watch a video while we eat.
All right.
What video should we watch?
Let's watch King Richard's Fair.
Let's watch King Richard's Fair while we eat,
and then we're doing salad bowl.
I think I've lost the room.
Sorry.
I'm trying.
Let's keep playing.
We got the forks.
This is all we needed to get the fucking smell out.
Alright, I'll go next.
Nobody's mouth has ever been more full
than what you just said.
Let's watch King Richard's Fair while we eat.
Everyone eat!
Hear ye! Hear ye!
Has Barstool Hath arrived?
King Richard's Fair. September 14th, the year 2013. Ew. I almost got arrested in real life for fake killing.
A real cop came up to me.
It was like, you're fake killing so many people.
So, what is this fish I'm eating?
So, fufu, fufu, well, you have jollof.
Hank has fufu in his plate.
And I don't know what the meat is.
I gotta taste it.
That's probably lamb.
Jolof's kind of hitting.
Who gave you permission to speak to the king?
And this is the one.
This is the chick that I think got banned.
I know, I think I cut her too
Yeah This chick got mad at you? Yeah, I think I cut her, too. Yeah.
I legit think that guy wants to kill me now.
I could have this sword and you'd be dead.
Except for the peace card.
Right.
I think I'd feel it first.
As your king, I'm just trying to help you.
Do you have to pay to get into this? I'm shaking my boots. I've been here for 10 minutes and I already have a mortal enemy.
Gotta keep my head on the floor.
That's Prime Big Cat right there.
I just looked over and I just saw Andrew Santino.
I can't.
I actually can't.
What?
I am not a wench.
I am their employee at the time. Taking our tail feather for thine?
Where is this?
Where is it, Hank?
I bet you would.
It's in like the... Western Mass? Not even Western you would It's in like the Western Mass?
Not even Western Mass
It's just like the
Eastern Massachusetts
You probably went here
As a kid to ask
King Richard's Faring
No?
I actually went here
When I was a kid
Like multiple times
No respect
No respect I think my kill count Is now at 16 I actually went here when I was a kid, like, multiple times.
Kate, come up with a list of 20.
It's going to get it.
No, this food's good. King Richard's Fair.
Pizza Review.
Royal Pizza. Pizza review. Royal pizza.
One bite.
It's so much easier if we just got pizza.
We play any video on YouTube?
TJ?
I want Big Ol' Titties. No, I just want to watch Big Ol' Titties.
No, I just want to watch Big Ol' Titties.
Dingers.
Dingers? Yeah, Dingers.
What about
Titties?
How about we go with Titties?
Dingers.
Seven. A sneaky
Seven
No we weren't even excited about that
Guys we gotta get that
Dave gave that a rookie score
Uh huh
Flat seven
That's how you know it's an old Barstool video
In my opinion
Yup
I love Dave to death
But a rookie score from the king himself
It's a testament
To how vintage
That video is
This food is so good
It really is
What is this
Mine just tastes like
Raw eggs
So what I saw
We have some
Ugasi soup in there
I saw some
Fufu
I saw some
Jollof rice
I'm so happy
Because you cats Are fucking eating And eating And are enjoying This piece I have Right here on my forkf rice. I'm so happy because you cats are fucking eating
and eating and are enjoying. This piece I have right here
on my fork, what is that? I'm filled to the brim with
fufu.
This is so delicious. It depends.
Is that jollof? Wait, hold on.
Hold that. Zoom in. That's probably some
that's probably some ugasi. Ugasi
with beef. Ugasi soup with beef.
What cut of beef is ugasi for the folks at home?
Ugasi is... Yeah, of course it's cow. It's beef, butasi soup with beef. What cut of beef is Ugasi's for the folks at home? Ugasi is...
Yeah, of course it's cow.
It's beef.
But what kind of beef?
Maybe the same cut as brisket?
Okay.
Somewhere in that area of brisket.
Yeah, I'm enjoying this.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm profusely sweating.
I think my face pain is...
I'm sweating my dick off.
There you go.
Shout out Spider.
Okay, talk to us
about some names, though.
All right, Kay.
Run this record.
That was a loose one.
Run this record.
It's a gas, man.
Okay.
When you look down,
because Broome still has eyes looking directly at you.
When you look down, your eyes look at you.
Hey, hear me out.
If one of these 20 names hit, you have to name your child that.
Deal.
Deal?
All right.
Wow.
Lindsay Lohan.
Okay.
Yeah.
Stephen Hawking.
Alan Turing.
Any of these.
Albert Einstein.
Nikola Tesla.
Michelangelo.
Rihanna.
Jessica Alba.
George Clooney.
Kate Hudson.
Adele.
Elton John.
Barack Obama.
Ngo. Marie Curie
I'm going to go through the other list again
mom
again I'm just going back through it
Marie Curie
fuck oh shit Sally Struthers popped up like 10 times
Whitney Houston
Amy Winehouse
Mark Twain
Angelina Jolie,
Leo DiCaprio, Snoop Dogg, Will Smith, Halle Berry, Tom Hanks,
Natalie Portman, Mel Gibson.
I'm almost there.
No.
Oh, that was weird.
Puff Daddy.
No, that's it.
Fuck.
No, you still have Antonio Banderas.
Yeah, Antonio.
Bob Barker.
Bob Barker.
Good guess.
Denzel Washington.
Denzel Washington.
It's hot.
It's hot, right?
Drew Carey.
That's a mean.
That's a mean.
You have mine?
No, no, no.
That shit was spicy.
This is incredible.
This is spicy as hell.
Roman fucking knows I hate spicy shit and just fucking loaded me up.
That was fucked up.
Guys, I'm very drunk.
Guys, that was really fucking good.
I'm very drunk and sleepy.
Yeah, me too.
Fire.
Oh, this is so spicy.
What'd you say, Nicky?
Very drunk and sleepy.
Oh, my God.
What is this?
This is damn good.
We've been doing this show for four hours.
That, uh...
I think that's damn trash.
That's good.
That's damn good.
That's damn trash.
That's money.
You gotta try that beef thing that Nick gave me.
That beef's good.
Whatever the fuck that was was money.
You boys wanna call it while Dan's out?
I'll tell you what.
I'll be Dan.
We got to call it.
Salad Bowl.
Salad Bowl.
Salad Bowl.
No.
What?
Four hours in.
I can't even think of a thing.
I'm about to be burping up fucking beef jollof.
Salad Bowl.
One thing that you can't even think of.
Yes.
Yes, Spider. I don't think we should ruin Salvo.
I'm not complaining, Sal, by the way. That was fire.
Whether you complain or not, man, that shit is fire forever.
I'm probably going to text you in a week and be like, what was that order? That was money.
Boys, boys, it smells way better.
What do you mean we have Salvo haters?
KB and Nick
Yeah we were like
We were like we shouldn't do it
Cause we don't
We can't think of anything
And I think we should
Salvo?
Go out
Go out as boys
And with a camaraderie
Instead of
Alright so we're just gonna get this
I think Salvo would still be fun
I would do everybody submit one
Damn no
Or two
Two
Just doubled up what Or two Two Two
Let's play one round where everyone submits two
See how it goes
I don't even really know how it works
I have no idea how it works
Thank you
That's so good
That rice is spicy as fuck So good. Let me write some shit. Rowan just gave me the spiciest shit in the world.
Like a piece of shit.
That rice is spicy as fuck.
I don't want peanut fish stew.
Is there any like pita bread in there at all?
Rowan just fucking...
Tacos.
Gave me a bomb.
I was like, here you go.
Big guy, you have the peanut bread?
It's the spiciest thing you've had in your life.
Does he have the peanut?
He threw it in the trash.
I hope that's not what he threw in the trash.
Zob, what's the name of that rice dish?
Jolof.
Jolof rice.
So it depends on what kind of Jolof you get.
You can get a pork one.
You can get a chicken one.
What was that one we ate?
It wasn't my phone.
I think it was Nick at that order.
It's really good, whatever the fuck it was.
What is this?
I'll take a bite of the protein this? Us Africans we get a bad rip
Our food is the tastiest man
That spice
I'm not sure what I'm eating right now
But this is really good too
I think that spice hits late
Alright so should we just cut the last like two minutes
Two hours of the cage race?
No, no, no, no.
No.
I think we should try to play Salable.
Let's play.
Let's try to put a couple down each.
Everyone got to do a couple down.
What does that mean for Hank and I?
Just put down, like, something that can be acted out.
Something that you can charades.
TJ, do you have dingers?
Yeah.
You do?
All right, let's do this.
Right before we play Salad Bowl, we're going to play a video of dingers,
and let's all try to clean as much as we can right now to get a head start on it.
Clean it up for Salad Bowl.
TJ, play the dingers.
Here we go.
Everyone watch some dingers.
All right, let's clean.
Let's clean.
Let's clean.
Let's clean.
It's like Matthew's getting shot.
Oh.
That's you, you's getting shot. That's you.
You're getting shot. Oh no.
Oh no. All right. Oh, forget that.
That is way, way out of here.
Home run derby style.
Into the third deck.
There you go.
There you go.
Like that.
I like the blue suit.
He hit it off to the roof across the street. I have never seen that. I 2-2 to Judge. There it goes.
See ya.
Oh, my.
Put it to orbit.
A long home run for Judge.
Yankees lead 11-5.
Hammer deep left field.
Get way out of here.
See ya, darling.
And the Astros get on the board.
It's now a one run game.
Swing and a drive.
Way back into right field.
Oh my goodness.
This one has gone a long way.
It hit the catwalk.
High for a ball.
Goodbye. One pitch to Spinner. Time again. want all the time I'm winded.
Clean it up.
I'm winded.
Pitch to Moss. Hammersth of the season. A mammoth blast.
Pitch to Moss.
Hammers this into deep right.
Fail.
One of the longest ever from that side of the plate here at Bush Stadium.
Holy smokes.
I'm not leaving until we get the thing.
But we'll play Salah ball first.
Let's play Salah ball.
Anyone who wants to leave can leave.
If this becomes a 12-hour stream by me, that's fine.
Spider!
Will you grab a tin off my desk?
Yeah, no, you got him, Bushman.
TJ, how bad has this been? No, we got a mushroom. TJ, how bad is this been?
No, we're all good.
We're all gravy.
How'd you like your African food, Big Ed?
Loved it, Sal.
Really?
There we go.
Loved it.
I love that.
Now we're ready for salad bowl because we cleaned up.
There we go.
Can I do some acting for salad bowl?
Yeah.
Please.
Give me some hard clues.
Oh, no. for Salah Ball? Yeah. Please. Give me some hard clues.
Oh, no.
Zah, you can be designated actor.
I mean, a big cat.
I love that idea.
I'm here all day.
I love that idea.
Play Salah Ball, Zah's designated actor for both teams.
Actually, that's great. No, no, Zah's designated actor for both teams. Actually, that's great.
No, no, Zod's designated actor in round two.
He just looks at him and acts him out.
Love that.
Steven is so hammered.
Steven is so drunk.
He's so drunk. Look at this. Get him. Steve is so drunk. May as well just end it right now.
He's so drunk.
Look at this.
TJ, go to Nick's seat.
Go.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, Steven.
Make sure you.
He's so drunk.
Go down.
Go down, TJ.
Go down.
We just cleaned up.
He was just literally squatting on like a full ashtagrass squat,
getting every bit of these plantains.
But are you leaving?
No, he just grabbed me and said,
wait, pass that.
And Che just
ate most of it
But there's the biggest grease stain on Nate's chair
That I've ever seen
It looks like in
America when they put their heads to the back of the seat
In the brown bag
Spider just
Spider just handed me an empty tin
No no don't sit
Don't sit
Steven you want to put all the food out on
uh the front desk so we can really clean it off for a salad bowl nick zah's gonna be all-time
actor yeah round two i'm so ready what are you saying ron every other i i was saying look at
steven chase asshole that you can see i see his entire asshole we should submit everybody submits every other I was saying look at Stephen Chase asshole
that you can see
I see his entire
asshole
we should submit
everybody submits
one but it's the
most fucked up
thing they can
think of
don't submit
slurs
no slurs
and no buildings
falling
everyone does
two we play
a game
I will stay
until I get celebrityity Guesser.
If it has to be a 12-hour episode.
You're here all night.
Dude, if I do the 12-hour episode, then we mark another thing off.
You can't do that.
The 12-hour...
We've got to end this.
We're at hour four.
We've got to end it.
No one's watching at this point
You have a flight
You're wrong Sass
Sass you're wrong
No shout out to the people still watching
You guys still have fucking brewskis over here in this cooler?
Yeah
I mean it's still early
It's only
I'm going to stay till I get it
No one else has to
My wife's at a fucking
Longaberger party
And fucking sitter
Is about to leave in an hour
Are you serious?
That's gonna cost you
A pretty penny
Yeah
Where'd it be go?
Yeah
Every fucking Thursday
Is Longaberger
Pampered chef
Fucking Avon
I can't keep up
I just give her my card
Alright fine Fuck it I'll just get celebrity Guest around myself I don't know Oh. I just give her my card. All right, fine.
Fuck it.
I'll just get celebrity guesser by myself.
I don't know.
Oh, no, no.
Are we doing celebrity guesser?
Are we doing...
I was going to do salad bowl, but where is everyone?
You seem like anyone wants to do salad bowl.
I want to do salad bowl.
Hey, I already wrote all his.
Nick's asleep.
I'm right here.
Let's watch Nick close his eyes for an extended amount of time.
There are two and they're gone. All right, fuck it. Let's fucking get the celebrity guesser. Let's watch Nick close his eyes for an extended amount of time. There are two and they're gone.
Fine.
Fuck it.
Let's fucking get the celebrity guesser.
Let's do celebrity guesser.
And get out of here.
No, let's do salad bowl.
I'm down for whatever.
I will stay until we get both.
You don't look like you.
I look terrible.
I feel awful.
I will stay until we get both.
I feel fine, to be honest.
Salad bowl.
Hank, you look like a fucking lunatic.
Bro, you want to play one-on-one salad?
I'm the Joker, baby.
We lose Kyle.
No, he's here still.
Put up celebrity guess for one second while I write my salad bowl.
All right, let me do celebrity guesser.
Kate, do you have another list?
Denzel Washington.
Kate, make another list.
You guys are going to be pissed
when it lands on Denzel.
You're going to be pissed when it lands on Denzel,
but it's not your guess.
Denzel Washington.
I'm going to do another generator
up against this generator.
Perfect. Kate's got us.
Keep going.
I don't want Pete back.
It's got us. Keep going. I don't want Pete back. Hmm?
It's much better.
It's much better.
Worse? No, no, no.
It's much better.
It's fucking with me.
It's much better.
Where the fuck did Shane just go?
I'm just fully fledged sick ill.
Well, no, no, no, buddy.
No, I'm sick too. Rachel McAdams.
We're still doing it.
Trying to get it so we can get out of it.
I know who it's going to be.
It's going to be...
Why does it look this way?
Oh, no, we're better when it's...
Jessica Alba.
J.B. Smoove.
Kate, do you have a list?
Get in that ass, man.
I'm doing a random generator up against the generator. Get the blue off. Kate's got it. Go, Kate. Kate, do you have a list? Get in that ass. I do. I'm doing a random generator up against a generator.
Get the blue off.
Kate's got it.
Go, Kate.
Okay.
Anne Hathaway.
DJ's drunk.
Beyonce.
He lost the button.
He lost the button.
Hillary Clinton.
Miley Cyrus.
Leo DiCaprio. Kate Hudson. Miley Cyrus. Leo DiCaprio.
Kate Hudson.
John Travolta.
Charlie Sheen.
Mila Kunis.
Ashton Kutcher.
Madonna.
Mel Gibson.
Julia Roberts.
Kourtney Kardashian.
Jay-Z.
Justin Bieber.
Ben Affleck.
Adele.
This is giving me the same four over and over again. Ben Affleck. Denzel. This is giving me the same four over and over again.
Ben Affleck.
Denzel.
Everyone think of one.
Denzel Washington.
Everyone think of one and we'll go around.
Drake.
Marie Curie.
All right, ready, set, go, round.
Denzel Washington.
Yogi Berra.
Daryl Hall.
Neil Armstrong.
Kurt Cobain. Jeff Goldblum
Darryl Hanna
Intel Washington
Antonio Bendez
Twiggy
Bill Murray
Tom Hanks
CJ what happened to this?
CJ Affleck Wait we lost TJ CJ how do you take Tom Hanks. CJ, what happened to this? Where's the Aflac?
Wait, we lost TJ.
CJ, how do you take...
How do you take the blue off, TJ?
I don't blame...
We've been doing this for too long.
Me and Sass are up to 20, by the way.
Everyone should...
If anyone wants to leave, they can.
I'm not going to leave.
I'm not leaving until we finish this shit
I mean if that's what we're doing
We can cut all of this
We can cut all of it
If that's what we're doing
Then we're gonna do it
That's what we're doing
Or I started writing down clues
Yeah I'm down for Salad Bowl
Let's do a round of Salad Bowl
Alright
Enzo Washington.
I'm not fucking Paul Golzinski land.
Tony Hawk.
Sally Struthers.
Phil McGraw.
Cal Mitchell.
Oh!
Oh!
Wait, this is a very lopsided Salable team.
It could be every other.
It's lopsided as long as Chase on the other team.
What happened in this seat, Nick?
Chase dropped every fucking grain of rice.
Salables.
Ron, do you have any pen or paper?
I have paper.
KB has pen.
KB has the pen.
I put pen and paper in the center square.
God bless us.
And Sass has some, but he's practicing with the throwing.
What do we have to put it in?
Can you guys update me and Sass at 20, please?
You guys are going to like mine.
Mine are so stupid.
Yeah, throw all that out, bro.
Throw it out.
I got a text from Max, who's in the office.
He says it still smells very, very bad.
Two berries.
Okay.
Stop being a bitch.
All right, Denzel.
Denzel Washington.
My man.
My man.
Oh!
I watched American Gangster last night. I think people are going to hate this. My man. My man. Oh! I watched American Gangster last night.
I think people are going to hate this.
My man.
My man.
My man.
What's the Jay-Z song?
It's like,
They tried to kill my wife.
Go off, Sass.
My son.
Keep going, Sass. My son, John Q, is in the hospital. Keep going, Sass. My son. Keep going, Sass.
Son John Q is in the hospital.
Keep going, Sass.
Denzel is the best, dude.
American Gangster is maybe the best movie ever.
It's a great movie.
Great movie.
Here's your 20%.
What do you want?
What do you want from me, bitch?
It's your salad bowl.
Blue magic.
Blue magic.
Daisy.
Blue magic.
Hey, shut up, blue magic.
It's your birthday, girl.
What is her name?
Young, Jace.
Her name's not blue magic, you racist piece of shit.
What's her actual name?
It's a song.
That's a song from the movie.
What's Jay-Z's name?
What's Jay-Z's daughter's name?
Hank, are you playing this?
No, I don't know what this is.
What is this?
The rookies.
What?
Well, it's not charades, Jay.
It'll be a fucking...
Pinky Spider will be out.
Jay-Z's daughter's name is Blue Ivy.
I don't know.
They're a truck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's got a song, though.
He's got a song.
Blue Ivy, it's your birthday, girl.
He's got a song called Blue Magic.
What is that?
Banger.
From the American Gangster soundtrack.
Here you go.
My man.
No, remember him
KB have you ever seen
American Gangster
With
Denzel bro
Alright let's play
Is Christian Bale in it
No
No wait
Where's Roan
I tried
To the deal
With my wife
Oh yeah I have seen that, yeah.
You haven't.
Have you seen Man on Fire?
Don't fib, bro.
Have you seen Man on Fire?
Don't fib with me.
Not with me.
What's a fib?
Not with me.
Anyone else, not with me, though.
Not with me.
Have you seen, what have you seen?
Have you seen American Gangster?
Have you seen John Q?
Have you seen American Gangster, bro?
Have you seen Man on Fire?
That was the original question.
Have you seen American Gangster?
Be real, K and B.
B, B. I obviously, yeah, I just? Be real. K and B. B. B.
I obviously had a shit and fun with it that month.
Be real with me.
I saw the whole thing.
Don't play with me.
Don't play with me.
Have you seen the movie?
I don't have a favorite part.
You haven't?
It's a fine movie.
It's whatever.
Kills a guy on his rug.
He tries to fucking clean up the rug.
You're a part of John Q.
Oh.
What are we doing?
Don't play with me.
Do not play with me.
KB. I've seen the movie.
KB. Anytime.
Not now. Any
other time. Not now. Have you seen American
Gangster? Twice.
KB. I've seen it. KB.
Look me in the eyes
and tell me you've seen American Gangster.
I haven't seen it.
Wait. Come here.
Playing this real quick.
Then we'll get into it.
Pause the smell.
Pause the smell.
Pause the smell.
It's not bad.
It's not bad.
Better?
Yeah, it's fine.
All right, let's go.
Max texted me and said it's very, very bad.
No, he just texted me saying it's gotten a lot better.
Rob was formerly a mounted sheriff.
He's used to smelling horse shit.
I think he can tolerate it.
All right, I'm going first.
So wait, we're doing team, right?
We don't have...
Where's Roan?
Where'd Roan go?
Nick and Roan and you guys.
Yeah, our team is...
I'm down for whatever.
All right, let's wait for Roan,
and then when Roan gets back, we'll do it.
Remember your two?
Yeah.
Wait, did you write any?
No, I haven't written anything.
All right, write two clues.
About?
Anything they could be.
They could be anything.
Be an animal, could be a phrase, could be a building, could be anything.
A noun.
Rowan, how does it smell?
Terrible.
The security guard has stayed the whole...
Oh, my God.
Poor John.
Dear John?
He just said it smelled better.
Alright, let's go.
They tried to kill my wife!
He was damn good. In a lot of films, he was good in flight. to kill my wife. He was damn good in a lot of films.
He was good in flight.
He's the goat, dude.
He's the goat.
All right, I'm up first.
Book of Eli.
All right.
Hold on, hold on.
Spider's writing his two.
Spider, put your two in there.
Unstoppable.
He tried to kill my wife.
He wasn't bad in Deja Vu, which was like a pretty middle.
Should I rip it? Yeah, do it too. I am not feeling good about my wife. He wasn't bad in Deja Vu, which was like a pretty mid- Should I rip it?
Yeah, you do too. I am not
feeling good about my team.
We're going to fight hard.
Spider.
I put down some shit that you can't act out.
Spider, listen to me.
The first round.
Go ahead.
Put him in there. Put him in the hat.
I put down some crazy shit that you can't even begin that.
Rona has it.
Or Sass has it.
All right, guys.
Hank, Spider, listen to me.
First round, you have to explain it to your teammates.
Look at Hank.
But you can't use the words.
No.
As many words as possible, but you can't use the words on the clue.
What did I just say?
Right, you're right.
Kind of redundant.
I said explain it to your teammate, but you can't use the words.
On the paper, yes.
Yes.
Okay, so just follow along.
And the clues stay the same, so remember the clues.
They stay the same throughout all three rounds.
We don't do any different clues.
All right?
All right. Here we go. Sass, any different clues. All right? All right.
Here we go.
Sass, you're up.
You're up, man.
All right.
Ready?
Yeah.
Get the timer ready.
Ready?
Yeah, get the timer ready.
Hank.
I got a lot of dead eyes on my team.
I'm okay.
We're good.
We're up.
Here we go.
We got this.
Remember the clues, Spider. Remember the clues, Hank. All'm okay. We're good. We're up. Here we go. Remember the clues,
Spider. Remember the clues,
Hank. Alright, give me the clue. Here we go.
TJ, get the timer up.
Don't fuck this up, Hank. Get the timer
up, TJ. Spider, pay attention.
Yeah. Yeah.
Timer.
TJ's so drunk.
TJ's so drunk.
Three, two, one. Dave has two of them online. 3 2
1
Dave has 2 of them on line
Federal crime
Text tape
Text tape
No no
This is not us
Go quick
Sassy
Make sure you
You go Sassy boy
He sits across from me
He sits across from me
For still
Break the
Show called
The Blank Show
Rona
Tommy Smokes
Tommy Smokes
You go in 43 seconds That's my fast boy Break the... Show called The Blank Show. Tommy Smokes. Tommy Smokes.
Keep going.
43 seconds.
That's my fast boy.
Nylon jeans.
It's like the tip of the penis, but it's on a girl.
Erythra.
The female clitoris.
I read your paper.
Remember these.
It's an animal in Africa.
It's big. Hyena.
New.
Big nose.
Long nerve. Elephant. I big. Hyena, new. Big nose. Long nose.
Tiger, elephant.
Rhino.
We're fucked.
You just wrote elephant.
I think all my clues are gone.
The long nose.
Oh, Rowan guessed it on the first celebrity guesser.
Ron Madden.
Yep, that was my four clues right there.
Good.
You got two more in you.
Let's hurry up.
I don't even know what that says.
Nylon jeans, electric pants.
Oh.
Remember those.
All right.
Time, time.
All right.
We got.
That's still very, very good.
We're so good.
This is the winning team.
It's impossible for us to lose.
Why did you just put all the.
You didn't put them on.
Be concise with it.
Put them on the ground right in front of you.
All right, Stephen.
Be concise with it.
Let's go, Stephen. All right. Let's go, Stephen. Be concise with it. Put him on the ground right in front of you. Be concise with it. Let's go, Steven.
All right, Jay.
Let's go, Steven.
Be concise with it.
Okay, fuck what they're saying about you.
All right, you guys got it.
Now we're guessing Hank and Spider.
Now we're guessing.
You guys are so thin.
You guys are shit.
You're about to get a zero.
All right, let's go, Steven.
Good luck getting one with that.
You guys got this.
Jay is anchor.
And Ro just ate Che's taco.
He got this.
He got this.
That was an alpha move.
All right, come on, Che.
You're so fucked.
Talk in the mic, Che.
You're so fucked.
Bring the mic closer, Che.
Check, check, check.
All right.
Here we go.
Ready, set.
Hopefully we don't need to be doing a check that we've been recording for five hours.
Go.
Yeah, we filmed.
Go.
All right. Ready? hours. Go. Go. Ready?
Yeah.
Nope.
Get rid of it.
Alright.
First two words.
You again, shit.
Fat.
Obese.
Male.
Can't do act outs.
First word. Big man. Stop. Male. You can't do act outs. All right, men.
First word.
Big man.
Stop, stop.
Baby, you're gone.
It's not a man.
Big man.
Throwing them off.
Come on, KB. Wingspan, they're going to get zero.
They're going to get zero, and I'm going to love it.
You can do that to us, KB.
Baby, that's fucked up, man.
I don't give a shit.
That was fucked up.
You fucked us, KB.
Now, I'm...
Lives in Antarctica.
Penguin.
Aw, dude.
Yeah, all right.
There we go One
Come on
All day
17 seconds
Quicker with it, Che
You gotta go quick with it
Can't act
I gotta
I gotta poop
Diarrhea
Constipation
Maybe
Joey
Poppers
Holding her poop
I know it
Anal plug A plug Baby, no, it's over Constipation. Maybe. Poppers. Holding her poop. I know it. I know it.
Anal plug.
A plug.
It's over.
It's over.
That is time.
I didn't do shit.
I didn't do shit.
I just distracted you.
One, Jay.
Jay, you got one.
Yellow.
Jay.
School bus.
School bus.
Raph.
School bus.
Jeffery Giraffe.
And get up, you're done.
The yellow submarine.
We out of time?
Time has been out.
For 45 seconds, dude.
Throw it back in the hat.
Jay would have kept on going for me.
KP, you fucked.
Yeah, my bad, yeah.
You can't talk while we're going.
I did.
Talks a lot.
At this point, I don't care.
Bro, what are you going to do about it?
Are you going to fight him?
Guys, there's three rounds.
You trying to test me right now?
Trying to test you.
Okay.
You don't want to do that.
There's three rounds.
You don't want to do that, Seth.
Buffalo Bill's sweatshirt should be over your back.
It already is over my back, dumbass.
It's going to be over in the wrong way.
Oh.
Oh.
It's over, bro. It's a wrap.
Forfeit now. Wave the white flag.
Look alive, my G.
You guys ready?
You guys ready?
Go.
I can't read that.
Read it, read it, read it.
The one that Che just read?
Overweight man.
That guy getting off of an airplane?
No, no, it's on the water.
That guy getting off a boat.
Yeah.
Too easy, too easy. Way too easy.
It is brightly colored trousers.
Neon pants.
Neon jeans.
Yeah, neon pants.
We already do that?
No, I just guessed it.
We're getting swung.
Come on.
This is tightening your cheeks because you're going to have diarrhea because you're getting railed by a homosexual.
Gay guy getting fucked in the ass, but he has to shit.
Yep.
Gay guy getting fucked in the ass, but he has to shit.
These are pants, but they're made of H2O.
Water pants.
Water trousers.
I submitted this.
Fuck.
Is it...
Pants, water, five, four, three.
Come on.
Is it an electric jean?
Hydraulic jeans?
I knew that was good.
All right, Spider, let's go, Spider.
Hey, guys, best...
Spider, you're...
Literally no one is better than me.
I am the best of all time.
I'm the best submitter, because I didn't even remember that.
Dude, I got five on the first round.
I'm the best of all time.
I'm the best writer for this.
All right, come on.
I have to describe him?
Nick, put him in the middle.
Don't use the word on the paper.
All right, here we go.
Three, two, one.
James Harden, LeBron James, Dwight Howard.
Chokers, chokers, choke artists.
Choke artists.
Basketball.
These boys are struggling.
These boys are struggling.
Look at the mic.
Something on a par three.
Shorthanded. He's just reading. Double ego on a par three. Shorthanded.
He's just reading.
Double ego on a par three.
You guys handwriting.
There we go.
We got that.
Here we go.
Water jeans.
Water pants.
You just can't say jeans.
Electric.
Liquid jeans.
It's liquid jeans.
Liquid jeans.
I knew that was a banger.
Primally is a diner.
What?
I don't know what the fuck you wrote.
Do the next one.
I period.
Did someone guess liquid jeans?
Them boys is struggling.
No pants.
Liquid jeans.
Correct.
What's liquid jeans?
Liquid jeans.
I knew it was.
Your day, Primally is a diner.
My diner is Jarvis and Dives.
Correct. That's it. Jarvis and Dives. Correct.
That's it.
Oh, all right.
Next round.
All right.
Next round.
Get in here.
I was an all-time actor.
Kyle, what's up?
Team KP.
Team KP.
With jeans.
We're back.
We tied that.
We're back.
You didn't tie it.
You're two down.
No, we basically tied it.
It's close, though.
We tied it. Spider went off that round. Yeah, we basically tied it. It's close, though.
We tied it.
Spider went off that round.
Yeah, we basically tied is what I meant.
Whose team are you on?
We're about to make a trade.
We're about to make a trade.
Do it, then.
Do it, then, and take it out.
Zod was not listening to the clues.
Whose team's Zod?
He's the automatic.
Oh, fuck.
Round two.
This is zacked out.
This is zacked out.
I remember.
We're good.
We're good.
We're good.
All right, here we go.
Zod right in the middle.
Right in the middle.
Zod, Zod, the middle.
Right there.
There's more clues.
Zod, Zod, Zod, Zod, Zod.
There's more in the middle.
Wait, I have more.
I have more around here.
Zod, it's Roan.
It's Roan.
This one, Zod.
This one, Zod.
Zod, there's one more over byod. There's one more over by Spider.
There's one more over by Spider.
Zod's doing it.
But Zod's also.
Oh, Zod's doing all the act outs.
Yeah, yeah.
All-time act outs.
Oh, nice.
Here we go.
All right.
Three, two, one, go.
Boy, they can guess.
Yes.
Zod has to.
I can't read. If it's liquid, yeah. If it's liquid Yeah
If it's liquid
Gene just give me a wink
Wait
Zaw
Zaw
Guy getting fucked in the ass
But he has to shit
This is
Disgusting
Bangladesh
Can't tell him what it says
Skip
Skip
Start over
Start over
Start over
Don't start over
Keep going
30 seconds Go go go Throw that out KB Come on Zaw Skip, skip. Start over, start over, start over. No, don't start over. Keep going.
30 seconds.
Go, go, go.
Throw that out, KB.
Come on, Zog.
Pull one, buddy.
You got to go, Zog.
Liquid jeans.
Neon pants.
What does that mean?
Water cap.
Liquid jeans. It has to be liquid jeans.
Not liquid jeans.
Ranking.
He's liquid jeans Yeah
Zaw come on
Save those
That's a gimme
That's it
Zaw
Zaw
Zaw
Go go go go go
I don't know what the fuck that says
Throw it out
Throw it out
Alright we got one
Time's up
Time's up
Time's up
Throw it back in the hat Throw it back in the cap Throw it back in the hat Throw it back in the hat All right, we got one. Time's up. Time's up. Time's up.
Throw it back in the hat.
Throw it back in the hat. Throw it back in the hat.
Throw it back in the hat.
No, no, don't throw the one that you can't read in the back of the hat.
We threw the other one away.
We're just ditching questions?
Two that we can't read, we threw away.
We can't read.
That's kind of crazy.
It's back in the mix.
Maybe you threw one away.
All right, fine.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Liquid Jeans is written pretty well.
Go ahead, Zach. Here we go. I'll give that over to- Who All right, fine. Go ahead. Go ahead. Liquid Jeans is written pretty well. Go ahead, Zaha.
Here we go.
Hey, you old...
Who's up, Hank?
No, no, it's Zaha.
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Zaha, Zaha, Zaha.
Wait, Zaha, Zaha, wait.
I have...
Pass the hat.
Do the...
Sass, pass the hat.
Now.
Yeah, but hold on.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Zaha, you got to put it back in.
Put it back in.
DJ, get the timer. Zaha, put it back in. Zaha, you got to put it back in. Put it back in. DJ, get the time up.
Zaha, put it back in.
Zaha, you got to put it back in.
You got to put it back in.
And you got to shake it up.
Zaha, you got no team in this.
You got no dog in this fight.
All right.
Ready?
You know what I mean?
Zaha, go fast.
Ready, set, go.
Oh, no.
Oh.
Liquid jeans.
No, that's the only one we got.
Clitoris Clitoris
Clitoris
Clitoris
See he's working
Titties
Oh fuck you got in the ass
Where he's got poop in his butt
Anal sex
Call outs
No call outs
Doggy style
Sex tape
Sex tape
Doggy style sex tape
Banging
Banging
Fucking
Skip
Oh no no no No words no words no words no words
no no and Hank can only guess this one come on you gotta be quick with it
wet wet jeans liquid jeans dancing it's also dancing oh he's got moves like that
skiing
skiing
ski pulling
break dancing
rowing
white water rafting
fat boy
belly
abs
fat abs
fat ass
fat titties
times up
times up
times up
times up
fat clit
fat whore
put those two back in put those two back in, Zahn.
Put those two back in.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Where's he going?
That guy doing it.
Where's he going?
We still need him.
We still need him for like three more rounds.
I think he thinks it's over.
No, we're not.
No, we're not.
No, we have to finish the second round still.
You got to finish the whole entire bucket. I feel like this is it. Yeah, for the second round, we got not. No, we're not. No, we have to finish the second round still. You got to finish the whole entire bucket.
I feel like this is it.
Yeah, for the second round, we got to finish it.
Oh, fuck.
All right, let's go back to normal.
Let's go back to normal.
Let's go back to normal.
Come back.
I know.
Let's go back to normal.
Let's go back to normal.
Let's go back to normal.
Go ahead.
No, then.
Go ahead.
No, no.
Who's up?
Roan, you go.
It would be KB.
It would be KB up.
No, Roan didn't go yet.
But Roan was saw. No, but just go with Roan, Rone didn't go yet. But Rone was saw.
No, but just go with Rone.
That's what I'm saying.
But Rone was saw.
All right.
All right.
Here we go.
Ready?
TJ?
Three, two, one, go.
What was that?
We're rolling.
A fat guy getting off a boat.
Yeah.
See, this is chemistry.
This is chemistry at its finest. That is a boat. Yeah. See, this is chemistry. This is chemistry at its finest.
That is a penguin.
Come on.
This is too easy.
That's too easy.
That's fucking a guy.
Come on now.
Come on now.
Oh, fuck.
We're fucked.
Smoking a cigarette?
Smoking a joint.
Don't guess.
Shane smoking. Are we talking cigarette or something else? Throwing away a cigarette? Smoking a joint. Don't guess. Jane smoking.
Are we talking cigarette or something else?
Throwing away a cigarette?
Cigarette.
Smoking.
Smoking.
Short.
Sucking dick.
Liquid jeans.
Neon pants.
Neon pants.
Come on now.
Come on now. Talk with us. Uh- pants. Come on now! Come on now!
Uh-huh.
Can't read that handwriting.
We got five seconds. Five seconds. Five seconds.
Holding your shit as you're
fucking the ass.
Come on now!
Alright, Hank, you're up. This fucking squad.
You're unreal.
God damn it.
5-12.
This might be the biggest upset of all time.
Not an upset.
What got named there?
100%
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
We got...
Oh, my God.
Save him.
Save him.
Oh, fuck.
I forgot all about Hank.
And Stephen just said, what got named there?
Oh, I forgot about Hank. I forgot everything about Hank. And Stephen just said what got named there. Oh, I forgot about
Hank. I forgot everything about Hank.
Ready?
3, 2, 1, go.
John Madden.
He's good.
Leon Pants.
Glitterous.
He's got fucking
he looks like he's
cooking eggs.
Oh, they're terrible brutal
next
penguin
oh yeah
sleep
penguin sleeping
hibernation
dude it has to be
once you've already guessed
penguin sleeping
zapping up
zapping up
zapping up z tapping up, tapping up.
Go to the next one.
Tapping up a penguin sleeping.
Tapping up a penguin.
Quit.
Sorry, we got two.
Come on, Hank.
Golfing.
No, the part thing, whatever you had.
Oh, fuck, I forget.
You wrote his chain.
Was that part three? I think I had. Oh, fuck. I forget. You wrote his chain. Was that par three?
I think I definitely got par three.
Yes.
Go, Hank.
He's not bad.
Time.
Look at him.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Elephant.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Put it back in.
Oh, you can't be throwing them all down.
He keeps throwing them down.
He threw them all down.
He threw the whole hat. Yeah, you can't be throwing him all down. He keeps throwing him down. He threw him all down. He threw the whole hat.
Yeah, he can.
He can do whatever he wants.
Yeah.
That was so fucking funny.
TJ, I think what we gotta do is
after the Stinky Cloud, we gotta put
up a disclaimer being like, nothing happens
for the next three hours.
We want to keep watching.
The rest of the show sucks.
Yeah, yeah, do that.
Do that.
All right, KB, let's go.
Wait, did you just throw them all back in?
No.
I threw three back.
There's two at the end.
All right, go, KB.
Three, two, one, go.
There he goes.
Elephant.
Tommy smokes.
I don't know what this one is.
I have no idea.
Fishing? Jerking off?
Fishing.
Frying a pancake.
Making breakfast.
Making breakfast?
Cooking eggs? What was it?
Making breakfast on the one for the sky.
This is one that I can't remember.
Pancakes?
Three.
Making breakfast for three.
Three egg omelets?
Too easy.
Too easy. Too easy. Put them all back in. Come you, breakfast. Three egg omelets. Too easy. Too easy.
Too easy.
Put them all back in.
Come on, man.
That's too easy.
Oh, man.
This is legitimately exciting.
He's kicking our ass.
You still got ten seconds left.
And we fucking won, dude.
We're out of things.
Put them back in.
They're all done.
No, no, no.
Round three.
All right, I'll set it up.
All right, guys.
Round three.
I'm going to go.
I can say one word, and you have to guess off the one word.
You can't say the word that's in there.
Around that bag.
Right around that bag.
Underneath that bag.
Yep.
Oh, we threw some out.
He has some under his foot right here, I think.
We threw some out.
Are those they?
Under your left foot?
Come on.
Oh, that's random?
All right. Let's go, Sass. Oh, that's random? All right.
Let's go, Sass.
Sass is taking this game very seriously.
Yeah, bro.
I don't fuck around.
All right.
Come on.
All right.
My team.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It's us.
What the fuck, Sass?
Come on.
No, it's on Big Cat.
Big Cat.
Sass is taking this so seriously.
Are you guys ready? Yep. Yes. All right jeans count me down count me down five four three two one literis literis elephant penguin neon pants next one
oh wait madden oh next john madden we're gonna say one more don't know how to say one more
neon jeans i said next and pants Fucking a guy in the ass
When he's got a shit
Neon
I don't know
Next
I'll go next
I have no idea
Clitoris
Penguin
Liquid jeans
Federal
Fucking
John Madden
Guys help me out
Fuck
Say one time
You guys Next Next Sex tape Sex. Play one time. Next.
Next.
Sex tape.
Sex tape.
Sex tape.
It was too late.
It was too late.
Oh, I got that.
26.
Penguin, elephant.
Animal.
Penguin, elephant.
Elephant.
Penguin.
Liquid jeans.
Neon jeans.
Three.
Neon pants.
Yes.
Two.
One.
Stop. No, that's not right. Football. Johnon pants. Yes. Two. One. Stop.
No, that's not right.
Football.
John Madden.
Gay.
Fucking a guy in the ass with a message.
But what?
But what?
But what?
You didn't finish it.
Time, time, time, time, time, time, time.
Shut up, Stass.
Time's up.
Pretty good.
Around five? You have four, five. That's time, time, time. Shut up, sass. Time's up. Pretty good. Round five?
We got four, five.
That's pretty good.
All right.
Finish it off.
They're going to kill us.
Show us.
A word, sass.
A word, sassy.
Bench off.
All right.
Ready?
Yeah.
Chucky fencer ass.
Scared of everything.
Pants.
Pants.
With jeans.
Of course.
Time, TJ.
He's not.
He's drunk.
Whoa, whoa.
Shot clock.
Shot clock.
What's going on?
It's got to be 30 seconds at least.
Pause.
I can't see that.
Pause for a sec.
You should pause for five.
And go.
Slow to start.
Coworker. Tommy for five. And go. Slow to start. Coworker.
Tommy Smokes.
I forgot.
Urgency.
Sport.
Automated.
Football.
Basketball.
Bait.
What?
Yeah.
Basketball.
I don't even remember basketball being in there.
Golf.
Hitting a par. What is it? Was it par three? Yeah. Hitting a par What is it?
Was it par three?
Yeah
Hitting a par three
The five ironers
Something about jeans
Something about a bird
Something about a bird
Albatross
Yeah
Exactly
That was a lot of words
Whoa
That wasn't
Whatever
Vessel
That wasn't right
Suicide
Copper Titanic No That wasn't. Whatever. Vessel. That wasn't right. Suicide. Suicide.
Copper.
Titanic.
Another word.
Yeah.
Hudson.
You guys suck dick.
I don't remember this one.
Even Europe.
I don't actually remember that one either.
Golf glue wasn't right at all.
It's all right.
What do you mean that wasn't right at all?
You guys said fucking bullshit, and I gave it to you.
Don't bullshit me. Don't talk about it to you. Don't bullshit me.
Don't talk about rules and shit.
Don't bullshit me.
Don't be the rule guy.
Play it fair from the jump.
Yeah, don't bullshit me, Che.
Hey, you were so drunk a little bit ago.
Don't flip the script now.
I'm very drunk.
No, no, but earlier when your heart was hurting.
You guys already lost.
There's three left.
There's no way you can win.
You were doing like wall sits.
All right, let us try.
Sit in that.
Sit in that shit. Sit in your fucking loss.. Alright, let us try. Sit in that. Sit in that shit.
Sit in your fucking loss.
Alright, we're out. You guys lost.
You lost by three.
Minimum. You lost by a fucking
million in the case race.
Oh shit.
I don't give a shit about that gay ass race.
I always liked that.
How's that L taste?
Tastes good
Because I know that I won salad bowl
So that's what really matters
Yeah, that's what really matters
Try your hardest here
You win by
You lose by three
Minimum
Minimum
Che, we're done
We're done
Get three points
Che, take that walk
Take that walk, bro
Take that walk
I already took that walk No, take that walk. Take that walk, bro. Take that walk. I already took that walk.
No, take that walk again.
I almost threw up.
Fuck.
He's proving a point.
We're proving points.
It's a wrap, bro.
It's a wrap.
It's curtains.
Animal.
Penguin.
Elephant.
Zoo.
Antarctica.
Penguin.
You can only say one word.
No, zero points. Zero points. Qualification. Can we You can only say one word. No, zero point.
Zero point.
Qualification.
Can we just end this game?
Quick.
Quick.
We've got to end this episode.
We've been going on for six hours now, I think.
You've got to be fucking quick.
Say something.
Over this game.
Brandon.
It's a walker.
It's a guy getting off a boat.
Did you throw that in last minute?
No.
That's been said every round.
Say something.
We've got to end this.
We've got 30 seconds for breakfast.
Pancakes, three egg omelet.
You get pancakes and a three egg omelet.
Yeah, it counts.
That counts.
Next, next.
That counts.
Bro, it's a wrap.
That's all.
That's all.
Fucking bitch, man.
We won.
A lot of people would not expect to get riled up over salad ball, and little did you know. That's all. That's all. Fucking bitch, man. We won.
A lot of people would not expect to get riled up over salad ball, and little did you know.
I saw that in Spider.
I saw the demon come out. Fuck you, Sass.
Bitch ass.
Fuck you, bitch ass.
I saw the demon come out.
You wanted that win.
Fuck you, bitch ass.
You wanted that W.
All right.
Should we end this episode?
I'll stay.
I'll stay personally to get celebrity, but you guys can.
It's a wrap. It's a wrap. Yeah. I'm going to stay to get the celebrity but you guys yeah it's a wrap
it's a wrap
yeah
I'm gonna stay
to get the celebrity
no no no
let's do Monday's episode
starting now
to get celebrity
alright welcome
to Monday's episode
let's do it now
and let's take Monday off
let's take Monday off
that's a four day weekend
that's prime
so one hour
so if we go to 1150
we get Monday off
I feel like garbage
yeah no
I actually have to go
Yeah, well, TJ, let's end it, but I'm gonna stay and get the celebrity
We do the wheel yet?
We all will
We're gonna end it first
All of us are
I'm gonna stick around for mad long
Alright
Did we do the regular wheel yet?
Yeah
Did we do it again?
No
We did it
Okay, let's just get it
Do you have a list for us? I forget it. Do you have a list for us?
I forget.
Kate, do you have a list for us?
One salad bowl.
I have a list that I made previously.
Okay, do it.
I could just do them again.
All right.
Ready, TJ?
I'm just going to blast through it.
We did, Seth.
Whitney Houston.
Yeah, we're middle.
Amy Winehouse.
At worst.
Mark Twain.
For you.
Angelina Jolie.
Holly Berry. Fuck. Leo DiCaprio. Amy Winehouse. At worst. Mark Twain. For you. Angelina Jolie. Holly Berry.
Fuck.
Leo DiCaprio.
James Corden.
Eddie King.
Snoop Dogg.
Kate's gone.
Will Smith.
Halle Berry.
Tom Hanks.
Natalie Portman.
Mel Gibson.
Puff Daddy.
Bukayo Sake.
Lindsay Lohan.
Stephen Hawking.
Alan Turing.
Albert Einstein.
Nikola Tesla. Michael Angelo. Rihanna, Jessica Alba, George Clooney,
Kate Hudson, Adele, Elton John, Barack Obama, Van Gogh, Marie Curie,
Teddy Roosevelt, Sally Struthers.
I'm it.
That's all I got.
Who's that?
Richard Branson.
All right. Should we end it yes
Donald Trump
we're gonna get it
I'm mad
I'm mad
what was the one
sass you keep saying
say it again
maybe it'll be
what'd you say Kate
what's the one you keep saying
you know who I'm saying
Kate
what was the name again
I forget
DZ
come on now
Denzel Washington come on come on no DZ. Come on now. Denzel Washington. Come on, come on.
DZ.
Marlon Brando. Marlon Brando.
Sting.
That bastard.
Come on out, you
rapist.
You guys know the video I'm talking about, right?
Yeah, I'll play it.
He was a fucking heater.
We need to dig back into the annals of time
and play the rapist video.
That video was so fucking funny.
Paul Rudd.
Paul Rudd.
Make a cliche.
Steve Buscemi.
On to heroin.
On to heroin.
God, that video is so fucking funny.
Play it again.
Wow.
Wow.
He revs up the R real good.
Come on out, you... Alright.
Alright, we'll stay until we get this last name. All right. All right, boys.
It's Yak.
All right, we'll stay until we get this last name.
No, we should end it.
We'll stay until we get the last name, but not live.
We should end it.
No, we should.
That's what you planned.
It'll hit at some point.
I just keep looking into Hank's dead eyes.
They've been dead for like two hours, and I don't know how much longer he can go.
Somebody end it.
I'm so sick, guys.
We're done.
No, it's not over yet.
Wait until we hit the last line.
Remember, you're a rock.
Triple H and the Rock.
Let the Rock break it down for you.
The Rock, the most illustrified man in sports and entertainment. The Rock break it down for you. The Rock, the most heatless, defying man in sports and entertainment.
The Rock.
The Rock, probable, great one, people's champ, hello.
To say the least, The Rock is something you're not,
undisputed champion, so shut up, bitch.
So I remember Sass. Ron, give us one more screen. We were in a 30-minute meeting, Sass.
Ron, give us one more screen.
We were in a 30-minute meeting, Sass, upstairs, and you were at home.
And you showed up 29 minutes into it.
Yeah, that's my profile picture.
Your profile picture on Zoom is The Rock saying, shut up.
It just takes the whole screen that you joined the meeting,
and we're just saying goodbye to each other.
Dwayne the Rock shows up on the screen.
So shut up, bitch.
We were just, we were standing up to leave and there was a boop boop on the screen.
It was just a big rocket.
I didn't mean it like that.
Alright.
We'll see everyone Monday.
Yeah.
Monday.
See everyone Monday.
Hashtag
Thank You Big Cat.
We're gonna have to do a lot of
we're just gonna cut it
halfway and be like
only you sickos
watch the rest.
No, I thought it was good.
It was good.
It was a lot of fun.
What do you mean?
Tripping out, bro.
It's good.
It's fun. Hey, congr lot of fun. What do you mean? Tripping out, bro. It's good. It's fun.
Hey, congrats on your Sal Bowen.
Oh, that's what it's about.
You always are salty.
Congrats to Kate.
Yeah, yeah.
Cut that shit early.
Cut that shit early.
Cut that early.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now I get it.
Now I get it.
Frito Santino.
I don't understand it.
Yeah, now I understand.
Frito Santino.
Cut that shit early. Frito Santino. Not now I understand. Frito-Santhino. Got that shit early.
Frito-Santhino.
Not Cheeto, but Frito-Santhino.
Yeah.
All right. We'll see you next time. Bye.
Love you guys.
Each and every one of you motherfuckers, make sure you like the goddamn thing.