The Yak - Case Race Part 5 : The NYC Era of The Yak Goes Out With A Bang | The Yak 8-25-23
Episode Date: August 26, 2023Love you allYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Team Battle
J-Hip
Bro Brandon
Big Cat
KB
That clutch is vicious The vicious clutch I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
That clutch is vicious.
That clutch is vicious.
Little ass hat.
Little ass hat.
I got a phone to pick.
I got a phone to pick.
I got a phone to pick.
Giovanni Barnard.
Giovanni Barnard.
Giovanni Barnard. Giovanni Barnard and Giotto Brodnaggetti
3 2
1
NO!
Oh, fuck!
Damn it!
Fucking frozen again!
Why does this thing ever fucking work?
Motherfucking thing sucks!
Wow! Holy shit! Why does this thing ever fucking work? Motherfucking thing sucks. Oh!
Holy shit.
That was the best thing.
Oh, man.
That was so impressive.
The only critique I have is why didn't anyone speak up when we were getting our face painted?
You're like, you guys should do video games.
We're doing video games.
We could have done the characters we were on that.
That was ruled.
Is my mic not on?
Oh, no, now it's on.
It's us.
Off to a good start, Harry.
I didn't even have a fucking mic.
You're going to be muted.
All right, welcome in.
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Promo code YAK.
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It is the YAK case race.com. It is the Yak case race.
I forgot about four.
I forgot that four even happened.
It was four.
I think that there was no conflict
and it didn't work for us.
That's why we had to bring in Rico.
Hey!
White Iverson.
Yeah, we saw.
Yeah, that was because Hank
didn't speak.
So, Rico, if you could do more than 15 words.
More than Hank, I'll be okay.
Well, Dana and Hank, we've had two case race participants who just did not speak.
And one spoke a little too much.
Yeah.
Shane?
Oh, man.
All right, case race five.
I'm nervous, honestly.
I'm, like, trembling.
Yeah.
I'm excited.
Old yak versus new yak.
Wait, are you fucking baby Shrek?
I'm baby Shrek.
Oh, my God.
So we are...
The Wicked Witch of the West.
No, we are all baby Shrek.
Hey, why did she get, like, behind your head?
Because I'm old Shrek.
He's old Shrek.
That doesn't answer the question at all.
No sense. Every inch of skin showing above your neck is covered in paint. Because I'm old Shrek. He's old Shrek. That doesn't answer the question at all.
Every inch of skin showing above your neck is covered in paint.
You're the Incredible Hulk.
You're the Incredible Hulk.
What did she do to you?
She got behind your head.
I've never seen Shrek, so I didn't really know.
I was just told going in like, hey, we're going to be Shrek.
You be old Shrek.
And she definitely hasn't seen it. I wasn't one of you donkey.
Yeah, have you ever seen the donkey where they make the lips the mouth
and you, like, talk out of the side?
Who the fuck is old Shrek?
Team Camerata.
What the fuck are you guys?
Yeah, so what are you guys?
I'm David Bowie.
We're musicians.
Yeah.
Yeah?
The best of the best.
Legendary.
And Sass is a Jabberwocky.
No, I'm fucking Bob Dylan, Rolling Thunder.
That's unmistakable.
It is.
You know what I think about Bob Dylan, you know, Rolling Thunder.
Rico, you're Post Malone.
And Violent J.
Violent J.
Post Malone, that was a very detailed tattoo.
Or a crazy.
What about the booths?
Either this or Elton John.
I wanted to play to the audience.
Sonic and Tails?
Sonic and Tails. Enjoy. And then where's Kate? Kate is the beef. I wanted to play to the audience. Sonic and Tails?
And then where's Kate? Kate is the beef. I knew the video game.
Kate will join us when we start
after we finish the case race and go to Salad Bowl.
Kate looks
insanely handsome. Wait, what?
What's the Salad Bowl twist?
We eat each other's ass.
Just go back to Zah real quick.
Just enjoy this because this is the last you'll see this.
It'll be sweat off in a matter of minutes.
Yeah, the flood zone is opening after one beer.
This logo right here, this Case Race 5 logo,
are we making a t-shirt out of it?
We have to.
I think we are.
The t-shirts are live now as this airs.
Wow.
What do they look like?
Probably pretty sick. I guarantee they're they look like? Probably pretty sick.
I guarantee they're sick.
Oh, that is sick.
It's the little Nintendo logo on the case race.
Can't say Nintendo.
It's just slur now.
Can't say Genesis.
It's just slur.
It's the new N word.
N asterisk, asterisk, asterisk.
Jay, you're greener than the rest.
Crazy.
In my defense, I've never seen the movie.
I don't know anything about Shrek.
Who's Shrek voiced by?
Eddie Murphy?
Mike Myers.
Okay.
We're going to have Chris Farley,
or he might have even voiced some of it, right?
He finished it, yeah.
Then he died.
He died six years before the movie. Who died? Chris Farley. Farley, but then I... He might have even voiced some of it, right? He finished it, yeah. Then he died. He died six years before the movie.
Who died?
Chris Farley.
Farley.
Oh.
He was an actor in film.
Do you think anybody attached to...
Wait, is Mike...
Mike Myers didn't die, right?
He's fine.
Eddie Murphy's fine.
Does that sign say cheers, bees?
Cheers, bees.
Why does it say cheers, bees?
Celebrating the bees, dude.
Oh, shit.
You start going.
I've lost the R.
You lost the R?
Give them their flowers while they're here.
I have 200 bees I'm going to release into the balloons.
We tried to do that for an episode.
You died in fucking my girl, bro.
I tried to buy a bunch of roaches or something.
Flies?
Flies.
Oh, yeah.
We're going to try to kill some flies for KB's Wild.
They're all dead, right?
No, but Billy brought in the...
The lantern fly.
That stupid-ass lantern fly.
That was where the scream came from.
Isn't that the scream?
When it jumped out, it jumped onto Zod's hand while he had a blindfold on.
You screwed it.
That's horrifying.
Can we find that clip?
This is what it looks like. clip? Only available for 24 hours, so if you're watching now, it's only available until Saturday.
Buy it right now.
The Cave Trace merch is always fire.
That NASCAR merch?
Oh my gosh.
The link is in the chat as you're watching this.
Love it.
Get it.
Get it, get it, get it.
Sass, what's your game plan with your bitch ass?
I don't have one. I'm antsy to start, though. I'm always antsy to start one. Sash, what's your game plan with your bitch ass? I don't have one.
I'm antsy to start, though.
I'm always antsy to start one.
I know.
Should we have a side beer before we start?
Let's have a side beer.
Oh, yeah.
Fuck you.
Nick tried to get me to have a drink before.
He's like, oh, just have a drink.
You were being boring.
I was.
I was.
Just sitting around.
Okay, so it's going to be old Yak versus new Yak.
So four of you guys versus the three of us.
Stephen Che and I blew up all these balloons with our lungs,
and I don't know if that was a good or a bad move.
Oh, you guys lightheaded?
Yeah, I feel a little bit tingly faced, but I think that might be good for us.
TJ's mom did say ask if you were wearing lipstick
because your lips were a little bit discolored.
Yeah, they were.
I do have feminine lips.
Due to blowing up the balloons.
Yes, that makes me a little bit more feminine. And the entire time
that we were sitting here, Stephen Che
asked everybody who walked in
and this was apropos
of absolutely nothing, no cameras
around, no content, no shtick. He was like
as he's just blowing up balloons, like
folding them into knots. If you were sucking
a dick, do you think you could make a guy come pretty
fast? Yep.
Everybody that came in.
Tommy immediately was like, yeah, less than three
minutes. I know exactly what to do.
Let me ask you a question. Zah paused the
fuck out of him, almost quit Barstool.
Wouldn't the most heterosexual thing be to
try to make him cum as fast as possible so you can stop
sucking the dick? That's true. That's a gay man
fallacy. Fallacy.
No, I will suck it until I die. That's true. That's a gay man fallacy. Fallacy. No, no. I will suck it until I die.
That's the straightest thing you can do.
Suck it until you fucking die.
Never let him come.
No.
As a Taylor Swift fan, I would eat that dick.
You would eat it up.
Yeah.
Like shaving a carrot.
You suck dick like people eat corn on the cob.
Tommy's rationale was that he knows the equipment so well,
so he knows the exact pressure points and spots of the hit.
But he's never done it.
He's not a mystery.
How do you answer that that way?
I feel like the gag fucking factor.
Pressure points.
We're going to lose the whole audience.
Rico talking the fucking gag factor?
The gag.
The preamble.
The gag. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The preamble. The pre The gag. The preamble. The gag.
The preamble.
The minute you put it on, I'd be like.
Like any time I would have to eat spinach as a kid.
Like the minute it hits.
I can't brush my tongue.
Same thing.
Dude, even at Luger.
I'd as well be.
The cream spinach at Luger.
I don't even enjoy it.
It almost ruins it.
All right.
So why were you asking that, though?
What made you ask that?
I feel like we were just...
We were blowing up balloons and people were making jokes about...
No one made a joke.
We were sitting here quiet.
Brandon just said the straightest thing you could do is suck dick well.
You got to get it over with.
Make him cum.
I like all these hypotheticals, too.
I'm tired of it.
We were like... I feel like that's one of the most straight conversations
of all time, people being like, so if you had to suck a dick
when are you guys going to be
in these situations where you have to suck a dick
you never know
conversation starter
people do the mental gymnastics to put themselves in this
like it's a dark alley, you have a knife to your throat
you have to suck this dick
or else your children's at gunpoint.
You're in a hole.
I have only been confident I'll never be in a situation where I'm forced to suck a dick.
You just wrote the fucking script.
You're going to walk out of the office right now.
Hey, little sassy, you want a special?
Bob Dylan, get over here.
It's all it takes.
And then I would do the fucking Shawshank Redemption.
Anything that goes in this mouth is not coming out.
But if someone was like, I can make you Netflix special platinum.
No.
But I need you to just get these pressure points real quick.
I didn't.
You didn't even come close to thinking about it.
TJ, slow that down in post.
How many seconds?
Do you want to start?
Yeah.
All right, so it's the three of us versus four of you.
We get three TJ beers.
Okay.
All right?
That's pretty even.
Yeah, it's very even.
Brandon's not going to have more than three beers.
That's very even.
I mean, we want to have an even case race.
You're the only one here that doesn't drink.
It's not very good energy at the very beginning to call me out.
I'm saying it's even because if they get three beers with TJ, then it's like they honestly
might have more of an advantage than we do.
No.
Totally.
Good thing Brandon fucking three hours drink three beers.
I'm tired of people underestimating my party.
But let's get down let's get down to business does a conscious
like he makes it seem
like he can't do something
just so he can
overachieve his
low bar
that he sets for himself
I just don't drink
one of your first
barstool moves
was getting a six pack
for yourself
and watching wrestling
on your balcony
at a hotel
it's like
the first
gamesmanship
did he do that?
Whoa. Can you guys see
your ice? We're throwing beers, Brandon?
And didn't even lasagna.
You guys have to have way more because
you're doing an alternative
You know, you've been here for like five minutes.
This is guy code.
You got on the case race and immediately texted me, I want this type.
He's planting the seeds for three hours from now.
This can come back.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, this is guy code.
Like if you showed up at my house and I was like, oh, you brought a cooler?
And then you packed it like this?
Oh, you got a guy code?
Nobody has to take a cooler to your house.
How many coolers did you steal from this place?
Yeah, how many?
That body armor one. We are light on coolers, though. We used to have 20 coolers. you steal from this place? That body armor one.
We are light on coolers, though. We used to have
20 coolers. No, they're all at his house.
No, they're not at my house. No, no, leave them in there. We need them cold.
The motherfuckers don't even have ice.
I'm not a chugger. Who's chugging?
Rico's house looks like a 7-Eleven.
Nick, yeah, pop a couple
out. We lose the thing? Where's the... You got it?
Who's drinking? I'm not really chugging.
So, TJ, just whenever your're three, you're done.
Oh, you want me to just do them, or do you want me to activate me when you need one?
Oh, yeah, we can activate you.
Oh, I like activation.
It's up to you.
No, no.
It's like hitting the Nas.
Yeah.
I would like to activate you for the first one.
Off the rip?
Off the rip, we'll activate you.
Yes.
Actually, no, should we save it?
Hey, that Yak logo on the bottom left, that's fucking sick.
That's a t-shirt.
Oh, that's on the front?
Yeah.
I don't even see it on the front.
Should we save the activation?
We gotta talk game show.
Let's do one, keep two.
Keep two?
Launch one.
But do we want them?
Are you gonna be drinking on the side, TJ?
What do you want me to do?
I want you to not drink and then we can activate.
Can I wet my whistle maybe?
Fucking hell.
You can wet your whistle.
No, start.
So first one is on us.
Give us the first one.
It's like cold starting
a sports car.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
So we'll activate one right away.
Okay.
If we want to save him,
like if one of us is struggling,
we can activate two.
So you want to wait?
Just like y'all making
Zod walk in and out.
Make a decision here, boys.
TJ, wet your whistle.
That does not count as an activated beer.
That doesn't mean he needs a beer?
No, they have that.
They have bonus beers.
Now I know I'm shivering.
I'm still fucking wet to my fucking dick and balls from that wet wheel on the last one.
Someone did point out that we accidentally today just did a 12-hour stream.
Oh, my God.
We did.
We're going to end up doing about like nine hours of Yak today.
That's crazy.
We just took a couple breaks in between.
We're so stupid.
We should have just stayed live the whole time.
We never said that we would air them all consecutively.
True.
It's all one song.
We definitely did.
How have I said that?
Otherwise, we'd just be like
Every week we do a 12 hour stream
Yeah
Nice
Nice try on the technicality
Alright
Anyone got a cheers or anything?
It's a friendship
Cheers to the bees
This is the friendship case race
I mean this is the
Last time we're reacting
In this studio for a while
Yeah
Forever
If you don't think they're
It's like a kid going to college.
They're changing the studio.
Yeah, it's going to be the office.
Painting the walls.
Yeah, making it a kitchen.
We're filling it with concrete.
We don't want us to ever know anyone was here.
They're filling it with concrete
and we're putting fucking wallpaper over the windows.
It's going to be a brick.
What used to go on in there?
Don't talk about it.
Okay, to friendship.
Yes. All of us. Okay, to friendship. Yes.
All of us.
And ready, set, go.
Good yak so far.
It's a tough one.
These guys are animals.
What?
I always chug one.
It always does that.
It's going to backfire.
Always does. Always does.
Always does for this guy.
Yeah, it hasn't actually won since the first race.
This man's five minutes from a monologue.
I'm dripping green.
What are you going to do?
Same.
I already got it all over me.
Yeah, my face, my chin's just going to disappear right away.
It's even a chance to move tomorrow.
Yeah.
Oh, that might be the worst thing to do hungover ever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That and go to basketball practice.
Are you staying in a hotel tonight?
So definitely have to meet up, too.
Wait a minute.
Oh, no, Sass.
Hear me out, Sass.
Hear me out.
Those aren't the same.
No.
Fucking constant pounding.
Oh, no. I get that. Say it. Don't you. Those aren't the same. Fucking constant pounding. Oh, no.
I get that.
Say adults are going to basketball practice.
Dude, you did it.
I did it a couple times in high school.
Bad teammate.
True.
They used to hold basketball tryouts in high school the day after Thanksgiving, which was like the meanest thing. That seems late.
That gets the distance.
It is late.
Jersey.
Yeah.
But the coaches would intentionally try and overwork you and talk about how many kids
would throw up.
Damn.
That's very mean.
It'd be like 7 o'clock in the morning, too.
Dude, golf tryouts in high school were like...
I can't believe, Che.
We couldn't get any tee times, so they were at like 5 a.m.
And you play...
Oof.
Yeah. That's ungodly. Wait, so they were at like 5 a.m. And you played in the halls.
That's ungodly.
Wait, so Che, you had to move?
Were you staying at a hotel?
So tonight, movers came today.
They were there the entire day after I left.
And I'm sleeping on an air mattress tonight with my wife.
Our kids are at my parents'. And then tomorrow we're driving.
Are you trying to fuck?
To my... Free pussy on an air mattress? with my wife. Our kids are at my parents and then tomorrow we're driving. You're going to try to fuck? Tomorrow.
Three pussy on an air mattress?
Starts into one of the blobs at a lake.
You're going to jump
onto one side
and they go flying off the other.
Yeah, you're going to be
licking left thigh
for 20 minutes.
Tomorrow we're driving
to my in-laws
and then the next day
we're driving to Cleveland
and then driving
from Cleveland to Chicago.
A lot of days of driving,
man.
It's going to be a tough week.
You need a hand? You need someone to go with you?
It is the worst moving.
From experience, the drive from here to there moving,
it says it's 12 hours. It is not 12 hours.
It's longer than that.
13 with the time difference.
Go through Wheeling?
I don't know.
No?
We got two beers over here.
Wheeling, West Virginia?
Well, it's Wheeling, Illinois, too, that we learned.
Which one do you think I'm asking about?
Probably West Virginia.
You got three now, yeah?
Three.
I had a friend from Wheeling.
Wheeling, Illinois?
Wheeling, West Virginia.
Oh.
I have two friends from Wheeling, West Virginia.
Best friends.
His name was...
Three for us.
Was his name Billy?
Oh, Mike Florio.
Oh, yeah.
He's from Wheeling?
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
Oh, now you're talking Chase language.
His name was Billy.
He had a six-gun in his hand.
Uh-huh.
Billy Goldsong.
Did you count your third?
One, one, one.
Why don't you get two cups, Colin?
Come on.
Oyster Bay, Long Island.
Let's use our brain.
With a six pack in his hand.
We're hitting salad bowl later.
What else are we hitting later?
Celebrity guesser, salad bowl.
We got to hit a sparkle.
We got to hit a sparkle.
We're doing the celebrity guesser thing today.
I want to so bad. But I think Rico's going to be a Sporkle. We should win the celebrity guesser thing. I want to. It's so bad.
But I think Rico's going to be good at it.
Yeah, he'll dominate celebrity guesser.
Make some predictions for the Barstool Awards since this is already going to be out.
Oh.
Since that'll already have happened.
How about predictions then?
Wait, didn't you guys leak the category?
What are the categories?
They changed them now.
They changed them?
Yeah, because mine got cut.
My speech.
Really?
Yeah, but I don't, yeah.
If you win, do you go up and present?
Dave didn't like some of the awards, I don't think.
I don't know. I have no idea.
Am I still presenting?
I just know that my tux is going to look good.
What? Come on.
I'd love to know.
I think Nate is now presenting.
Nate's presenting
looks like
he's doing something but doesn't work hard at all award
it's not the Aperol Spritz right?
who's going to win that?
I don't know
Nikki knows
shittiest decision award
you won the Deus?
I was joking
I was trying to think of someone who actually works hard
who would get it
this is probably very stupid to talk about.
Oh, yeah, it's done.
Just say the things you know.
That's all I know.
Shittiest decision?
I've got to be up for that.
You're going to be up for that, too.
You're going to sweep, yeah.
It's going to be Sophia.
You're going to come home with a lot of hardware, I feel like.
There's going to be a lot of insult awards.
For real.
Shittiest decision.
It might be the boys painting their faces completely green so they can put whatever they want over top of it.
Shit.
Shit.
Oh, God.
Definitely look like Margaret.
I almost went to a place that's chapter.
Joe.
That's her last name?
That's Joe.
Thatcher?
Thatcher.
No, it's the woman that played the Wicked Witch of the West.
I don't remember her last name.
Large March? No, she's from Pee We the Wicked Witch of the West. I don't remember her last name. Large Marge?
No, she's from Pee Wee's Big Adventure.
Margaret Robbie.
That's Barbie.
That's Margo.
That's, yes.
Margo is...
That fat, ugly bitch.
It's insane how much hotter of a name Margo is than Margaret.
It is hell.
Is it?
Yeah.
Margaret's Margo?
I think Margaret is a hot name, and Margo is also a hot name.
She made it hot.
Margo's a significantly hotter name.
The only other Margo I knew was from that thing.
Yeah, I do look like that.
I'm burning.
Margo.
No, the fucking.
I'm melting is what she says.
I'm melting.
I'm burning.
What's the famous meme with Julia Louis-Dreyfus?
Margo.
Oh, it's Todd.
She plays Todd Margo.
I didn't know that Margo Robbie was like.
Christmas Vacation.
I don't know Todd. Yeah, Todd and Margot. I didn't know that Margot Robbie was like... Christmas Vacation. Christmas Vacation.
I don't know Todd.
Yeah, right.
She made Margot hot.
Margot Robbie was like 22 in Wolf of Wall Street.
Yeah.
She was so hot.
A little bit past her prime.
Yeah.
Smoke bomb.
Did y'all know that she's fully naked in that movie?
Six years past her prime.
Oh, yeah.
Wait, she is?
Yeah.
What do you mean?
You see her pussy.
Smoke bomb.
You do?
Margot Robbie? Yeah, You see her pussy. Smoke bomb. You do? Margot Robbie?
Yeah, you see her pussy.
Barbie?
You just got to enhance that fucking brightness a little bit.
They don't show enough pussy in movies.
They don't show enough pussy in movies, you're right.
It's all tits.
Need more pussy.
I bet there's videos where you can find pussy.
There's got to be some sort of pussy video.
With a grown-up meme of the kids.
You're so pro-pussy, man.
You see Jennifer Lawrence's pussy in that new comedy. Yeah, you do. He's addicted to pussy. But it's not even like hot pussy. That's true. With a grown up meme of the kids. You're so pro pussy, man. You see Jennifer Lawrence's pussy in that new comedy.
Yeah, you do.
She's addicted to pussy.
But it's not even like
hot pussy.
I think she's like
in a fight while it's happening.
It's fight pussy.
Yeah, fight pussy is
intense.
It's gross,
but it's also the tightest
a pussy can be.
Yeah.
Because they don't want,
yeah, fear.
I'm at four.
We're at four now.
All right.
I'm the last one to.
Oh, they're not. Oh, they so they're not feel them all in my
asshole right now right away feel it in my in my i just can't believe lungs yeah i felt my first
one in the shoulders even if you weren't gonna get the ones i wanted which you did very much nice but
very much nice ice some ice you had four hours you're not an ice guy we got we got an extra
delivery yeah and they were grown i appreciate you in the sun you're gonna complain about them You had four hours. You're not an ice guy? We got an extra delivery.
Ron, I appreciate you doing it.
Are you going to complain on the case? No, I'm talking to the man.
There's some tension building between Rico and Jay.
It sounds a lot like complaining.
Jay was dishing out insults right off the bat.
I've watched all the case races.
No one has ever gone to conflict with Jay.
Let me ask you a question, Rico.
You get Chinese food?
What do you order?
What are you thinking?
No, say your order.
Say your order.
You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
Oh!
All right, dude.
You've had one and a half beers.
Yeah.
He's a vibe killer.
You can't be throwing that out already.
That was a Hulk joke.
Oh, I missed that.
You don't have to explain your Asian zing.
That Asian boy swag.
Where did this come from?
What?
Your sunglasses.
Had these on the whole time.
Had them on the whole time, man.
He's Dylan.
Oh.
He's Dylan and Dylan.
What do you not get
about him being Bob Dylan?
I can do a killer
Bob Dylan impression.
I'll save that for later, though.
There's no way you can.
I think you break it out
every case race.
No, he can't do a good Bob Dylan.
Don't.
The karaoke he did last time.
I remember you were doing
Piano Man.
I was puking
one of the cases.
I can do his old voice
impression really well.
What was the song that you said he wore the white face paint?
No, he wore it on a whole tour, the Rolling Thunder.
I'm sorry.
That's my mistake.
What song does he say the N word in?
Hurricane.
Cue that up.
I'll check that out.
He said that?
That's your goat?
That's your goat, yes.
This is the story of the hurricane.
The song was about getting a man out of prison.
He says the N word, so he had to say the N-word.
I guarantee you Shrek has said the N-word, too.
100%.
Shrek?
Yeah.
Because he can.
I can definitely find a video of him saying it in AI or something.
Definitely.
I wonder if Bowie's ever said it.
100%.
Yeah, but in a different context.
David Bowie has a black wife.
Yeah.
Or did. He doesn't have anything. True. Huh? David Bowie has a black wife. Yeah. Or did.
He doesn't have anything.
Well.
True.
He's got nothing.
He's got nothing.
Who was his black wife?
It was a model, wasn't it?
Em Greer.
No.
It's insane the amount of drugs Bowie did.
Yeah.
To be alive.
All the singers back then just do.
He had a full two years where he
survived on cocaine,
hot peppers, and milk.
What? Like the liver king.
Yeah, that's it.
He had a rockin' bod.
So hot peppers, he must have discovered something.
That's the thing that I don't get is how those dudes can drink so much
and they all are just like ripped.
Is it because people then just would walk all the time?
It's cocaine.
It's because there was less gluten in the pasta. Does cocaine taste like anything? Is it a flavor then just would walk all the time? It's cocaine. Yeah, they were walking. It's because there was less gluten in the pasta.
Does cocaine taste like anything?
Like, is it a flavor?
Depends.
There's strawberry cocaine.
Sometimes it tastes like baby powder.
Right.
Like, it doesn't.
I know that there isn't, but, like, does it taste like?
You'd love the way it smells.
I feel like I'm too high-strung enough.
I don't think I'm a coke guy.
Oh, yeah, you're putting your head through a wall.
I don't do coke.
Five for sass. would it be sassy?
I leave the coke to Smacky Jables Oh, yeah, that guy
Smacky Jables
Pepsi guy, baby
Jables!
You want to get verified, baby?
How you doing, hon?
That's what he says
Smacky Jables
Hey, you ever hit a parlay?
Mac McCarthy
Smacky Jables
Smacky tables.
Smacky tables.
Rico has a whole bit about him going to clubs being like, you want to get verified, baby?
You basically have him as being like a drug lord almost.
Oh, yeah.
And the funniest part is the only time I've heard a story about Jack going out to a party was when he was with Rico, and Rico was claiming that the star forward on Kansas was his client.
No, I didn't say it was his client.
Yeah, he did.
Try to get in the party.
You're like, yeah, my client's in there.
I didn't think we were getting in.
That is what it is.
I went to the Barstool bar in Philly, and I couldn't get in.
I had to say I was friends with Shane.
Oh, no.
And I had been working at Barstool
for like four years.
So this was really recently.
Who's putting him away for you?
This was like last weekend.
Should have pulled
the undercover boss move.
Dude, I mean,
you'd think I was like,
oh, I work at Barstool
and they're like,
nah, I'm friends with Shane
and they're like,
come right in, bro.
Why didn't you say that?
Yeah.
He has a standing table, though.
He's there all the time.
Does Shane get like accosted at that place?
No, not at all.
Really?
We were in the back of the VIP.
The funniest was when we were in Arizona for the Super Bowl,
and Shane and I were playing shuffleboard on the same table.
We were playing against each other, but we were standing on the same side.
It was putting away for you guys.
There was one dude who was just standing basically in the table.
Oh, yeah.
Blocking us.
Yeah.
And I was like-
Six for us, too.
I was like, Shane, I'm sorry.
No, I just-
Probably-
I think we're at seven.
A barstool fan.
And he goes, no, no, no.
That's one of my goblins.
And the guy just turns around.
He's like, Shane!
He could spot it from a mile away.
He's like, no, that's one of my ghouls.
That's hilarious.
The real score is seven to six.
They're beating us right now.
All right, you've got two?
I've got two.
You've got two?
Do we have two?
I've got one, so that's seven for us.
We have six.
They have seven.
Okay.
All good.
TJ, let's activate you for one.
Whoa.
Yeah.
You've been tied.
All right, Captain.
TJ, turn on activation cam.
Yeah.
I brought the Viva No Brim out of retirement.
Good God.
Did your parents have a good time on-
They did.
They just got home.
Three bathroom stops on the way.
Oh, my God.
Holy shit.
How many root beers did he drink?
20.
21.
22.
15 cans.
In an hour?
22 glasses.
Yeah.
In an hour it was like
probably like two hours
what does a 22 root beer
piss look like
he pissed twice a year
and they stopped
at the rest stop
on the turnpike
and then went to a Wawa
and then went to Five Guys
oh my god
he's gonna have a kidney stone
that's coming out
Jay what are the odds
that he picked up
another root beer
at one of those places
he's got the taste
once you get one
you can't stop
dude he was just humming along, never complained.
No.
Just busted Brandon's balls.
Just a fucking monster of a man.
I know he's stressed about it, too.
Like, he probably ran every possible, like, doomsday situation
where he, like, threw up on himself or something like that.
But no, he just, like, he powered through.
Yeah, he just did it.
It was funny how, like, we kept on turning to him like he was drinking.
He said it at one point.
He was like, I'm not drinking alcohol.
He kept on being like, dude, are you going to drive home?
Zero sugar.
Chocolate waste.
Zero sugar.
I looked up the caffeine at one point because I was like, there's caffeine in this.
You can't do that.
There's none.
There's none.
So root beer is just brown water.
You can't hit in that brand now.
Please.
Carbonated. Carbon just brown water. You can't hit in that brand now. Please. Carbonated.
Carbonated brown water.
Yeah, the carbonation is what kills you.
Some aspartame.
I feel like if you drank 15 cans of caffeinated,
if you drank 15 cans of Diet Coke,
that would be so much caffeine.
15 cans of anything.
My uncle could put away six in a day at a work day.
Six, seven cans of Diet Coke.
Is six cans in a day worth talking about?
I mean, I probably had six cans yesterday.
You'll get used to it.
Don't let him talk to you like that, Rico.
You would think teamwork, but a guy...
I'm sorry.
You're right.
Don't let him talk to you like that.
Friendship, Rico.
Brandon Walker.
B-R-A-N-D-I-N Walker.
If only there was something to call somebody that only had two beers.
I haven't had two beers.
You've had two beers? Kelly.
No, I said I haven't had two beers.
She didn't have to get wet.
She said she would have gotten wet.
They all say that.
No, but she said it before.
I've had women say that to me before.
Yeah.
Brandon.
Brandon, what a fucking dog.
We're at seven.
Speaking of clubs, is table service, like bottle service, the dumbest thing we've ever done?
It's so stupid.
Growing up, I can't go to places like that.
I don't know.
It's fun if you...
Why?
You all get to have like one...
You divide up the math, Dan.
It's so...
Can I be honest?
I don't really know what bottle service is.
Just a bottle.
Just a bottle.
You pay a lot more.
I've never done it.
You got a sparkler.
I disagree.
If you're with enough guys.
Loser.
Loser.
Oh, no.
What's the whole time?
15-yard penalty for being a loser.
Bring it back.
Wow.
Fucking guy.
I don't know what club service is.
Fucking pop the whistle.
Starkville.
Everybody listening to this
Through their TV speakers
They're like
Their windows just explode
Yes
Oh hey
Wait till I start doing levels
On the fucking thing
Yeah
Clubs are good
If you're with a bunch of dudes
And you know
Yeah
Dude if I'm with a bunch of dudes
I want to sit down at a table
And freaking chop it up
No but if you're going to a club
No no
Chop it
I'm not a club guy I'm saying though If're going to a club. No, no. Chop it. I'm not a club guy.
I'm saying, though, if you go to a club.
I was a big club guy.
If you go to a club with like six or seven dudes,
you don't have a table, it's the most miserable time ever.
Yeah.
Because you're standing in the middle.
Going to a club, to me, it seems miserable no matter what.
I hate it.
Also, 11.
You can't go to packed bars or anything like that.
11 in Miami.
You got to chop it. You went? You liked 11 bars or anything like that. 11 in Miami. You got to chop it.
You went?
You liked 11?
Yeah.
Do you, Ben?
No.
I never went either.
I've never been to clubs.
I don't like clubs.
I've probably been to.
Yeah, I don't really like them either.
You guys should go to Bounce in Chicago.
That's a good college kid bar.
11 in Miami.
Hang out with some young teens.
11 in Miami is the greatest place to honor.
What?
What the fuck?
You know who I'm talking to?
The only reason I'm moving to Chicago is for young teens.
A couple barely legals.
A couple BLs.
If you guys ever have a chance to go to 11, though, go.
Because it's a club.
It's nuts.
It's a club.
It's a strip club.
So it's like a regular club.
Someone told me about this the other day.
Like 300 hot strippers just walking around.
And then every like-
Yeah, they're everywhere.
So God's not in there, huh?
And every like 45 minutes, they just start doing like a Cirque du Soleil thing in the middle of the club.
Strippers are like the vaccine to me.
I see them autistic.
I just look at my shoes the entire time I'm in a strip club.
A for us?
Strip clubs
are fun. I don't think so, man.
I'm a big fan of strip clubs.
I've only been to one. I think the last
time I even tried to go to one was
and I went with
Rowan's buddy Mike and it ended up being a fucking
Which one?
Government names on this. Which one?
His name is Mike.
That's what I see. There's plausible deniability by everyone. Which one? What? Government names on this. Which one? His name is Mike. He knows 15.
Everyone.
That's what I was going to say. Anybody.
There's plausible deniability by everyone.
There's been like 20 Mikes.
I've told the story before as well.
Okay.
I don't know if I've told this to you guys.
We told it on Son of a Boydak because it was me, Tommy, and Mike.
And we showed up to this strip club in L.A.
And it was not a strip club.
What?
It was like a fucking like...
Raffle?
Sex trafficking ring.
We walked in.
There's like 30 girls sitting on bleachers.
Was this during Super Bowl week? And they said it was like a backyard baseball.
They said it was like a.
Just wanted a wheelchair.
I'm trying to remember what they called it.
They said it was like a companionship club.
Oh.
You could.
And then we were like, yeah. We were like, this isn't really for us, and we left.
And this bouncer came out, and I was like, as soon as he came out, I was like, this is definitely part of the routine.
He was like, man, you know, honestly, if you tip those girls like $200, they'll definitely fuck you.
And he was like, you got to think about it.
Like, how much money are you going to spend on a date with a girl?
Probably around $200.
And I was like, dude, your ass would fall in love, though.
Yeah.
Not as much as I would fall in love, as much as I'd be worried that they would fall in love with me.
No, as soon as you enter the threshold of the pussy, you're in love.
Hell no.
Yeah, dude.
And Pretty Woman, who fell in love?
Oh, I think he did first.
He fell in love?
Yeah.
How could he not?
They both did.
Who stars in that?
Julia Roberts?
Roberts and Gere.
She was a hooah, right?
Yeah, she's a bad, bad, bad hooah.
Jason Alexander beat the shit out of her.
The who?
The hooah?
Yeah, the hooah.
Wait, Jason Alexander from...
I've never heard someone call her hooah.
Jason Alexander?
Jason Alexander beat the shit out of her.
Tried to rape her.
Beat her up?
Yeah.
What?
I can't say that word.
Hooah.
I can say rape.
Before Seinfeld?
Things have changed, man. I can't say hooah. We got our rape. Before Seinfeld? Things have changed, man.
I can't say who.
We got our independence back.
I got some freedom.
We can say our rape.
Everything changes.
The best is the Vince McMahon.
You love that clip.
Come on out, you rapists.
When was that from?
WWE.
Oh, my God.
They did that WWE days?
Oh, geez.
Attitude Era was... No, but that's WWE. Oh, my God. Did that WWE days? Yeah.
Attitude Era was...
No, but that's WWEF.
Yeah, but they were doing all kinds of shit.
It's one of the funniest clips of all time.
Even up until like 2007, they were pushing the envelope pretty hard.
Like just blatant racism.
He did a murder thing, a murder storyline in 2007.
That one's great.
That one's great.
And then the Rock one.
What is he called? What is he called?
Ready?
What is he called? Rapist?
Isn't that your Zoom
profile picture, Sash?
My Zoom profile picture is the Rock.
Shut up, bitch.
Shut up, bitch!
Didn't you tweet that once?
Do you remember, Brandon, do you remember the first ever
episode of Sunday Night Heat?
Oh, yeah.
So I was a huge wrestling fan.
I was probably 13 or 12.
Time out, time out.
TJ, you activated one, right?
Yep.
We should be at nine.
Sounds like he's not.
Oh, he hasn't finished his activation.
Oh, no.
The secret weapon jams up.
My bad, Steven.
My bad, Steven. My bad, Steven.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
My brother got in trouble in third grade for writing suck it on his folder in a Catholic school.
Oh, dude.
I got, I got, I got, I got, uh, like, suspend, not suspended, but like the after, whatever, you know.
With detention?
In school suspension?
Detention for suck it many times.
Yeah.
I mean, I did suck it every day for like a year and a half.
How could you not?
And then my boy PJ got suspended from PETA's for putting suck my eagle.
They were the Eagles.
PETA's Eagles.
Suck my eagle on a teacher.
That's a good line.
Get a brew?
The first episode of Sunday Night Heat, they throw it to the crowd,
and there's a woman, massive knockers in the front.
And she, I don't know if it was like takes off her top like this
or takes it off.
But I was probably like 12 or 13.
He aired I think at 7 o'clock on Sundays.
And so we're watching it in my family room and like my family's there.
I remember it was coming.
I guess my parents saw it coming and my dad stood in front of the TV like this.
Just like facing me, just not letting it happen.
Terrible memory. Horrible. I watched He Got Game with my grandparents. Just like facing me, just not letting it happen. Those were the best moments.
Terrible memory.
I watched He Got Game with my grandparents.
I got two good ones.
I got two good ones.
Wait, is He Got Game a threesome or is that blue chips?
Threesome.
Pick your best one, Seth. Blue chips, no sex scenes.
I'll put that can down, Seth.
Really?
Yeah, I know.
Recruiting doesn't show the cans.
No.
No.
I thought I was off camera.
Same blue chips.
I was in fifth grade or maybe sixth grade when Flight, the movie, came out.
Oh, God.
You guys remember Flight?
Yeah.
I saw it in the theaters.
The one with Denzel.
Rico, you've never seen a movie.
Oh, don't do this shit.
Yeah, Rico, why don't you sit this one out, pal?
You guys have seen Flight with Denzel?
Yeah.
Gonna roll it.
Denzel who?
Washington.
Yeah.
And, uh... Wait, wait, wait. Time out. Timezel who? Washington. Oh, yeah. And, uh...
Wait, wait, wait.
Time out.
Time out.
Yelling about Denzel Washington.
Every time.
Celebrity guesser.
Real quick.
Just one.
Just one.
Black person.
I was laughing for us.
Why'd you time out?
I timed out because I want to just hit celebrity guesser once to see if it's Denzel.
One round?
No, just once. What if it's Denzel.
What are we at?
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10.
10. I want to hear as many Denzel lines out of you today as possible. David Duchovny. Oh, no. Duchovny.
We could do a round.
David Duchovny.
Oh.
Denzel.
You're doing Denzel.
It's my favorite impression.
I watched Flight with one of my friends growing up, and we watched with his whole family.
And in the first 30 seconds of that movie, it's a full-on porno.
And I went home, and my parents were like, what did you guys do last night and i was like oh we watched flight and they were like we watched flight
and they're like we turned it off because of how bad it was and i was like 10 years old
that's perfect it was brutal oh i love those first movies that movie sucks too like that's
kind of a bummer that movie's okay now i re-watched it recently it's not That's kind of a bummer. That movie's okay. No, I re-watched it recently. It's not that good. Kind of a bummer.
The only cool parts of that movie is when he has like 400 beers on his coffee table
and he just wakes up.
Yeah.
That's a dendo?
Oh, yeah.
You guys ever watch that show Intervention?
Yeah, of course.
That show's awesome.
But anytime you think that you drink a lot of beers or whatever, it's like those.
Oh, yeah.
Alcoholics drink like 30 beers before noon.
Yeah, I'm shutting it down for probably a couple weeks after tonight.
Yeah?
Yeah.
That's a lot.
No more watching TV?
It's been out of hand recently.
He's quitting watching Intervention.
You're not going to drink during the...
Oh, after the Barstool Awards.
Yeah, I was going to say, the Barstool Awards?
Well, I woke up on Saturday and I was like, I should probably take a break because I went out that night.
And then I went to the Yankees game, and I got hammered.
Saw that.
You watched some baseball.
Yeah, you had good-ass seats.
Grand Slam, second inning.
Well, Cess had a great line today, like an old man.
He's like, you know, they're making a lot of money.
He's like, you look at beers.
The beers are around $9.
Beers haven't been $9 since like 1997.
They're so expensive.
You can't find a $9 beer in the city.
No chance.
The dudes sitting behind me were cracking me up so much at the game.
And I wasn't even paying attention to them, but they were just making me laugh so much.
They were just like, they were talking about how the margarita was like, they brought up those frozen margs and the bats.
And they were like, it's $35.
It's crazy.
And the dude behind me was like, I'm going to stick to my $20 beer instead.
And I don't know why it made me laugh so hard.
He's looking at them like they're schmucks.
Yeah, yeah.
You fools.
Tall boys really are the worst, though.
Yes.
Yeah, they get warm.
They get hot.
But what's your other option at a baseball game?
Just have regular tall cups.
That's why I like-
They have to go back a bunch.
I got a special order, but the Coors Light, you got to go get the case, the nips.
They're the fucking best.
The little ones are eight ounces.
Hand grenades.
Coors Light nips?
They're like six ounce or eight ounce.
Seven ounce.
Are you talking about the Miller Lite, the Miller High Lifes?
Ponies?
No, no.
Oh, Coors Light.
Coors Light brand.
They got Coors Light ponies?
You got to go special order them, but yeah.
Dude, I can't drink those.
I did a show in Buffalo
and I went out and I got the ponies.
It was Miller High Life ponies.
Have you been to Wingnuts? No, I didn't go.
It was too far away. It's worth the hype.
It's crazy. You went?
Yeah, for Rediscovering America at Buffalo.
I went to that one famous place.
Bar Bill.
Anchor Bar.
Anchor Bar. That one was okay. Bar Bill. The one that starts with an H.
Anchor Bar.
Yeah, that one was okay.
I didn't eat anything.
I also had a cold sore on my lip.
I was with Shane and LaMare, and they both put down like 30 wings.
11.
One spicy wing, and it was just in my cold sore.
I was like, this sucks so much.
It's heaven.
You must have been living.
They completely redid that restaurant based off you guys?
They opened three new places.
Sick.
Pretty crazy.
How much did you take as a cut?
We should have.
He's got like 90%. Yeah, he's got them like a fucking-
We should have.
I don't want to buy the balls.
Didn't you guys sell merch and then donate all of it?
Yeah, they bought a truck.
But I mean, it was, yeah.
You don't have to, yeah.
Ed had a heart attack.
They're good people.
Oh.
Yeah.
Wow.
Why didn't you exploit them?
Yeah.
Those are the most exploitable.
You shouldn't have exploited them.
The greatest thing, if the Bills get to the Super Bowl...
What if they become, what if they surpass Wingstop?
Be awesome.
You missed out on billions of dollars? Sick.
If the Bills ever get to the Super Bowl,
we've told them they will come out
for the entire week. Barstool will pay for it.
And they'll just
cater the whole week for us.
They'll have a food truck
wherever we do this show.
We're too wealthy to do that.
I always thought there was like a peak for wings.
Like wings can only be so good.
It surpassed it.
Really?
It was insane.
What do they do so special?
They're bigger than any wing I've ever had.
Okay.
That's big because you get some pussy ass wings.
And the crunch.
And then also the sauce.
He had size sauce in his crunch.
He said he's like, if somebody fucks up or doesn't love what they do, he fires them.
Yeah.
Wow.
They're very passionate.
I mean, he had a heart attack from wings.
He said he didn't eat wings for six weeks.
Then he had a heart attack?
No, after.
Oh, okay.
That would have been hilarious.
He's got to be careful.
He was having like wing withdrawal.
Yeah.
How did he get a heart attack?
I think from eating all the wings.
Oh, it's sodium.
What's your guys' favorite wing song? I thought it was Working Too Hard. Wing Nuts Original. Can you get a heart attack? I think from eating all the wings. Always sodium. What's your guys' favorite wing song?
I thought it was working too hard.
Wing Nuts original.
Can you do a heart attack?
Buffalo-y.
It's Buffalo, yeah, but it's Wing Nuts original.
Made my turd purple.
What?
That's fine, though.
I've always wanted to try those that...
I've heard that the last dab is actually not that hot.
I heard that the one that's like a grenade, what is it?
A bomb.
I heard that one is like brutally hot. That that the one that's like a grenade, what is it? A bomb. It's a bomb. I heard that one
is like brutally hot.
That's the one that always
kills everybody.
It's the eighth one, though.
Yeah.
There's like four after that.
What's up?
He's got the best,
Sean Evans has got the best life.
He does.
He's a hot dude.
Yeah, but he has to eat, dude.
He's probably going
higher diarrhea.
Tommy Smokes is getting a tattoo
right now outside as we speak.
Hey, tell him to come in here
and get it.
I think he's already, we have a tungsten meeting,
and since it's our last one, I'm going to get a little square.
Text him to come in here.
After.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
I think he's not cool enough,
and his body will just squirt out the ink like a squid.
Oh, yeah.
It'll reject it.
Yeah.
He'll die.
There's a chance I get a tattoo tonight.
Yeah, so the guy's coming in at the end of this to give me my square.
I'm going to get it either on my kneecap or my elbow.
And you're wearing jeans.
Depending on how fucked up I am.
What about your neck?
Okay.
Oh, no.
If you gave me a 12-year contract right now, I'd get a neck tattoo.
Okay.
12?
I would go 40.
I'd give you a 12-year contract.
40 years.
Wear it on your neck.
Wear it, though.
I'd just put you in the-
I'm around my Adam's apple.
I'd just put you in the Rico, Stephen Che, Jersey Jerry.
Keep me out of that.
Are you guys drunk at all?
Those are the guys that will be.
It's a lot, Nick.
Keep me the fuck away from that.
Rico, Stephen Che, and Jersey Jerry.
Not yet.
We only need one asshole on this team.
30 years from now, Barstool may not even be a company,
and I'll just have to pay those three guys.
Yeah.
You've got to set up a college fund like you would for a child.
529?
I'm going to be paying Steve and Shay to leave me alone.
Oh, yeah.
Because he'll be like, what do you want me to do?
I'll just be like, just go away.
That's why you ask me to do things.
You're like, I can get mad at you.
I know.
And I do.
You'll just pay.
You're great at it, Steven.
I had to bring the beat down on Che the other day.
I texted you like 20 times.
Oh, dude, I was doing something.
I know.
You're posting lame-ass clips of me.
I didn't, well.
Lame-ass clips. I feel like didn't, well. Lame-ass.
I feel like we have a funny clip every episode, and it's always just Sass doing something dumb.
It was like the clip was like, Shane Gillis crashes Sass's Philly show.
I was like, dude, if any comedian sees this, they're going to destroy me.
Why?
Because it's fucking.
It got taken down immediately, right?
Upon request.
Hour late.
Wait, why?
It was already out for an hour.
Joe, you got pulled.
That was on Barstool, Maine.
It was.
Okay.
And you don't control that.
Yeah.
I love you, Che.
Oh, Neely Boy runs the Maine.
Remember that time when everyone went out
to the case race that one time?
Yeah, that was very funny.
Real late.
Yeah, that was late as fuck.
It was like five in the morning.
Yeah.
What?
It was literally me, Che, Zaha, TJ, and we were out until like 5 a.m. with the fucking clown girl.
Are you still friends with those dudes?
Dude, I used to do that shit.
No, dude, I haven't talked to those kids since then.
I fucking knew.
It was the clown girl.
How do you get the name clown girl?
She was a professional clown girl.
She was a little clown.
Oh, really?
She was a little clown.
I love Nick.
Che came up.
I remember when you told me
and my jaw dropped.
Call this girl down
to show a handjob, girl.
My most shocking moment
of the year.
Give everybody a fucking handjob.
I promise you
I could give a better handjob
than any girl.
All of us.
Because you know the equipment.
All of us.
Any dude could.
You know the equipment.
You think that every guy
likes the same kind of handjob?
Yeah.
Eleven.
No, no.
Definitely not. definitely not.
Definitely not.
I see.
Should we tie it up right now?
I think there's guys that are this,
and then there's guys that are this.
No, I'm going to get it.
What the fuck is that?
I think there's guys that are this,
and the guys that are this.
Fucking ice.
What is this?
I think there's guys that are both.
Who's working?
Who's working right now?
Like a claw machine?
Let's do this.
Yeah.
Well, like you're getting a pickle out of a jar.
Okay, I like that.
I like this.
It's an old Ellen DeGeneres bit.
She don't fucking know anything about pickles.
What the fuck is Ellen DeGeneres giving handjobs to a dildo?
She's jerking off Portia's strap on.
On yourself, on Rico.
He rolls over and just starts stroking
When I didn't know
How to jerk off
I did this
Oh shit
Sure but people don't
Like that
I would assume
People still
And that was your first instinct
To do that
Oh yeah
When I was
I was like 13
Or 12
How does Ellen DeGeneres
Hate liars
Jellyfish pussy
Let's be honest
Dude the first Probably the first Hundred times I jerked off I did this How does Ellen DeGeneres hate liars? Jellyfish pussy. Remember when you jerk off? Let's be honest.
It's probably the first hundred times I jerked off, I did this.
That?
Just indexing it off. That's such an insult to yourself.
That's not good.
That was your cock.
Long balls.
Dude, you're literally roasting yourself.
You're roasting yourself.
I was like 12 years old.
I was 12.
That's how small as your cock.
You were jerking off a child's butt.
When I was like 13, I did this.
Remember when you jerk off the first time and you just wouldn't come?
I was amazed.
I don't want to not say it.
Shot out like six feet.
It was POV.
It was your point of view.
Activate.
Activate, TJ.
All right.
Was that 13 right there?
I don't know.
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Why did I...
I just saw a boost up to 13.
I need motherfucking...
I didn't see a beer finish.
No, no, no, no, no.
That's not 13.
That's still a 12.
That wasn't an extra one.
That one was already empty.
Minions?
I have no minions.
I'm the most minion-less guy there is.
Actually, I think Moog's working.
What do you want him to do?
Ice.
They're going to get warm.
Plus the ones we have poured.
How many have you guys had?
I feel like I'm kind of carrying the team.
Dude, I've been right there with you.
I think I'm at four.
I'm on five.
Okay.
Brandon's been sitting on five.
That doesn't add up.
I'm on three.
I have my cans right here.
You're at five.
You're at four.
That's nine.
How many are you at?
This is my fourth.
Review the tape.
I'm at 12, and I've had two.
This is my third one, so somebody's lying.
We should have 17 cans in there.
Review the tape.
Hold on.
It doesn't matter what we're at.
Just count the cans.
Oh, there are 17 cans.
Because we have three boards.
So Stephen Chay just finished one, so that's 13 for us officially.
My cans sound weird.
They're bottles.
Bottles.
I don't know.
I can't.
I've been given two.
We're at 13.
I'm pretty sure we're at 13.
I think that was 13.
He just finished 13.
I've had cans right there.
Shit.
How many is that?
It's 11.
It's 11, and what do you got?
He's got all his cans over here.
That's five.
I'm on five right now.
So four more.
This is the right score.
Ours is wrong. I'm on my third beer. He's on his fifth. He's five. I'm on five right now. So four more. This is the right score. Ours is wrong.
I'm on my third beer.
He's on his fifth.
He's on his fourth.
He's on his fourth.
You guys figure it out.
Just count the cans.
How many cans are in the back?
Check them all out.
Eight.
And then what is that?
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
But have you guys finished those beers yet?
Yeah, this is false.
We have eight.
Those are all empty.
Drinkers don't count.
I have a fifth one empty, but it's...
I'm confused.
We have 15 empties.
But we have to finish all of these beers for it to be 15.
Yes.
Right.
Okay.
Sorry about that, guys.
Oh, because TJ fired one of his own.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes.
Okay, so take one of ours away.
No, well...
Or the three of TJ's.
Okay, yes, yes, yes.
Take three away For TJ to activate
TJ are you activating
Right now
Yeah
Alright
TJ's activated
For his second one
Nick did you see
Mook's cameo
In the intro
Wait no
Mook had a cameo
In the intro though
Shay we had exactly
24 in here
I just did another one
Mook was my Pokemon
They listed it
As mook.png
Oh my god
There's you Oh that's so sick That was my fifth That's like a dream come true I just did another one. My Pokemon? They listed it as mook.png. Oh, my God.
There's you.
Oh, that's so sick.
That was my fifth.
That's like a dream come true.
Who's your team's glue guy?
The four of you guys.
It's probably fucking Clicky, dude.
Is it?
That's the first time I've ever called myself that gay.
It's sick.
It sounds sick.
It sounds sick.
St. Click-a-less.
Oh, what a curse that is.
What do you want for Click-smiss this year?
It's the truth, though.
St. Click-a-less comes through.
Fucking clicky, man.
Don't fight it.
I'm not going to fight it.
You got to accept it.
Nick, you might be the first guy.
I give everyone the same speech when they come to Barstool.
It's like, you'll get up. Oh, don't do this.
Oh, no, no, no.
Don't do this.
Shut the fuck up.
I don't want this.
You can't say it?
Say it, say it, say it, say it.
He's not on our team.
You get a big bump, and then it equals out where people start being like,
oh, I don't like you.
Everyone has that.
Like me. Everyone likes me. You might be the first guy who I don't like you. Everyone has that. Like me.
Everyone likes me.
You might be the first guy who hasn't happened to you.
I got a different speech from this guy.
Stop being a fucking cunt.
You've been around.
It'll happen eventually.
I don't think so.
It'll happen eventually.
Spider-Man.
That's what Sir Clicks a lot.
I can't name a single person who doesn't like me.
Stop being a miserable fuck.
That's the speech I got.
Either die a hero or live long enough to be the villain.
So you want me to fucking die?
What the hell? That didn't really fit there. The die a hero or live long enough to be the villain. So you want me to fucking die? What the hell?
That didn't really fit there.
What the hell?
TJ, add him up.
Whatever this is.
I need ice.
That's 13 for them.
We have some extra ice.
We'll sell you ice.
If you take one of our beers, we'll give you ice.
And they're warm.
No, no.
Ice the motherfuckers.
So we'll give you one of our beers.
We split it evenly.
Do you guys think any of us would have been friends in high school?
No, because I've been in the cooler for hours before you were born.
We definitely would have been.
If we all went to high school together, do you think any of us would have talked to each other?
And then you drain it a little, and then you ice the motherfucker more.
You don't get special treatment.
I'm just watching this conversation. I'm asking if it's fucking normal. I don't get special treatment. I'm just watching. I'm watching this conversation.
I'm asking for fucking normal.
I don't know if we would have been friends.
Me too, because we called it out right away.
We're like, are you going to do this all night?
He's like, nah.
When I hit 15 years, I want my endocrine.
I got to be honest, Rico.
You're my teammate.
I love you to death.
These are pretty cold.
They're fucking freezing.
They're freezing.
You're 12 years away from 15 years.
That's mean.
15 years what?
Five away.
When I hit 15 years at Barstool, Dan has to buy me an industrial ice machine.
Start a full time after I did.
12 years away.
Wait, how many years have you been at Barstool?
10.
Two.
How much was that golden month you bought for the office?
What?
How much was the golden tea you bought for the office?
I don't know a lot, but I'm taking it back. How come you stopped for the office. What? How much was the Golden Tee you bought for the office? Not a lot, but I'm taking it back.
How come you stopped bringing the salads?
What?
Salads?
Because you haven't reached into your pockets since fucking Christ Left Chicago.
That's true.
You can put the alligator on.
That is true.
Brandon does not buy anything for anything.
Nothing.
The alligator arms.
Brandon promised to get me a male stage shirt, and he never got me.
Oh, my God.
I just never gave it to you.
If it was a nickel to shit, Brandon would throw up.
Like you get your team together, dude.
Get that team together.
Brandon did just give me an egg roll in the kitchen.
You felt like the right guy to give it to. What were you doing in that slop moments before the case race?
Because I didn't want an empty stomach.
I was very hungry.
That makes sense, right?
Brandon, is that, are you finishing there?
Yeah, 14.
That's a great expression.
Brandon, what's your least favorite show to do at Barstool?
Oh, God.
He already is.
The next one.
I know the answer to that.
I'm not going to say it.
Here's one left.
That's hilarious.
Okay.
I know the answer.
How's that beer tasting, guys?
What?
Why would you do that?
I know the answer.
What's his least favorite? What is it? Oh, good. I'm not going to do that? I know the answer. What's his least favorite?
What is it?
It's all good.
I'm not going to say.
I like Chase Beer.
What's your favorite?
Dude, Nuts Talking Ball?
Yak?
I'll stop doing that.
That's my favorite?
Yeah.
Yak?
Brought to you by.
But Yak is.
You don't like the Yak?
Very close second.
Probably very different.
Very different.
That's the best part about it.
It's got to be hard to not like PMT.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, it's...
What, with all the money?
It got you a 24-bedroom home.
75K episode.
We actually were driving to Detroit, me, Hank, and PFT, and we were just like...
I was like, imagine if PMT just didn't work out, and we all were like, whoa.
That would have sucked.
Yeah.
Well, I've experienced it like five times.
It really sucks. Well, that's because you're not doing big sports. Well, I've experienced it like five times. It really sucks.
Well, that's because you're not doing big sports.
You're doing fucking little gay-ass sports.
He's got the bocce ball pocket.
Yeah.
Two guys rolling around.
Brandon's like, I decided to start a cricket podcast.
I'm really getting into cricket lately.
Have you guys seen the clip?
Why did I say it like that?
Oh, this is the one that's going to work.
I just found it on TikTok. You you guys seen the clip? Why did I say it like that? Oh, this is the one that's going to work. I just found it on TikTok.
You've obviously seen it.
The clip of MJF
on Rosie O'Donnell
back in the day.
Oh, yeah.
He wants to be an opera singer.
Un-fucking-believable.
That's what he said?
Yeah.
Rico, you've got to get
a show with him.
MJF?
Yeah.
He's too mean.
I don't like him.
No, I had a show lined up
with him,
but Dave wouldn't fucking pay him.
I made the logo.
How much did he want?
A million dollars?
Oh, much less.
Half a brand and salary.
PMT's
my Grateful Dead and Yak's
my Jerry Garcia band. That's sick.
Oh, he's awful. Is the Jerry Garcia band good?
Yeah, very good. What's Pick'Em?
Not selling merch. Pick'Em is
when someone goes to a jukebox
and plays Grateful Dead.
You get paid on that show.
Oh, you know I said I've
lost. No, I'm not breaking. Pick'em is
when someone plays. That's the one show you're going to do until you die.
Pick'em is the one show that I
will do if I'm 70.
I would love to be. Can you imagine us at
70? I mean, it would be hilarious. That's not a
rule anymore. It's the one show I would do
forever. That's been a rule since the first case
race. Kind of fun when we did that. It was.
Let's get a Kate report and see how we're doing back there.
Pick'em is if someone plays the theme song to part of my take on a touch tunes at a bar.
I have said, though, Rico will back me up.
You had to whip his ass, Rico.
Whip his ass.
Rico will back me up.
I've said many times.
That's the same thing with all of the shit.
You don't know what the fuck you're getting when you walk in there.
There's only one show that I said that I would like to be doing when I'm 70, and that's Pick'Em.
Oh, my God.
Can you imagine?
Oh, I wasn't even talking about Pick'Em.
Dave will be fucking like 85 fucking talking about kids 60 years younger than him.
It would be hilarious.
What is the premise of Pick'Em?
I've only watched it.
It's basically I thought they like respect in my opinion. It's just it's just a running joy
Rico it's like an audio
The best is the people who still are like took 55 minutes to get to the pics
It comes a great top five every week. I love pick up fucking man
That's actually that was one of the first things that I would listen to when I got hired here
No way.
Pickham, swear to God.
Really?
Yeah, swear to God.
How did you get into it?
It doesn't seem like it hits your Venn diagram.
It was a comedy podcast.
Yeah, it was you were freaking out and it was hysterical.
Rico, it's just you biting the electrocuted cheese every episode.
It genuinely was.
I would listen to it.
I would be like crying laughing.
Yeah.
I think we should release the fucking hidden tapes.
I think we should release the hidden tapes.
Pick'em also is the reason why Barstool Van Talk got canceled.
Why is that?
Oh, wait, but I wasn't on that episode.
We weren't on that.
Even I used to do Pick'em way back in the day, like 2013,
and we were just doing it for like what felt like no one.
16.
That's when we –
16.
Sam Ponder ran.
Yeah.
Well, they used to do NFL.
Like, it was...
That was before podcasts, like, had a form.
And they put the thing out.
Like, I say it all the time.
Like, you could call in, and everybody's kind of boring.
I called in, and I was a fucking lunatic, and it worked.
You just tripped over air, brother.
You take a piss?
Where we at?
Brandon, you're coming up soon.
We're at 16.
I just hit 16.
How the fuck, man?
TJ, has your activated beer counted yet?
It has counted.
So that's a clean 16.
He's not holding up as much as he thought he would.
Are you buzzed?
Got any games?
What kind of games you got?
You spin the wheel on this thing?
We're like 30 minutes into the show.
The case race is like three hours.
Four hours. I've watched
it. You mentioned that
you'd want to be doing that when you're 70. Who do you think
is going to die first on that cast?
Probably David. And who could suck dick and make
someone come first? Actually, yeah, you could
make an argument for each of us to die first.
Yeah, you could. I mean, a year ago I would have said,
Rico, no problem. Right.
My health. I was fucked up.
I almost went to a company that filed chapter 11.
Well,
it was a fake contract.
Yeah,
whatever.
You would have spontaneously combusted.
I mean,
this is a,
we're about to take the first pick them.
It's already aired.
Yeah.
Since you left,
are you guys excited?
It was funny.
I've never been more funny.
You better have that. You better have my trophy. Make a pick. I'm great again. was funny as fuck. Never been more funny. You better have that.
You better have my trophy.
Make Pickham great again.
Better have my trophy.
Yeah, we'll see.
Being the worst gambler of all time.
I think KB says that you were like Pickham was what got him into Barstool.
Really?
Yeah.
Sick.
I believe that.
Yeah.
I mean, if you're like an outsider and you're coming in,
that was the first thing that I was drawn to.
Right.
I remember I would see you in the office yelling at Dave,
and I was so scared of Dave then.
And I was like, this is fucking hilarious
that someone's going to scream at Dave like that.
You're still scared of Dave now?
Please, brother.
I'm horrified.
I'm horrified of him.
Horrified.
It's not that scary.
I talk a big game like I'm not.
It's not that scary scary I feel like Dave's
much more kind than people give him credit for he's nice he's just a normal the thing about Dave
is that he is as honest as like not very honest he's very fair so when everyone you're reading
your drafts right now everyone same thing at the exact same time. But you always know where you stand with Dave.
Yes.
Which is hard because a lot of people, you don't know that.
No, I don't know where I stand with Dave.
No, I don't think well.
For a little bit.
I think you know exactly where you stand.
Yeah, but I feel like I kind of got him.
I feel like I kind of gained his respect after when we went back and forth
about the MSG thing and I didn't back down.
After you guys mentally sparred.
No, he likes you.
But then he tweeted that I represent spoiled children.
I'll tell you exactly where you stand with Dave.
I'll tell you exactly where you stand with Dave.
Because I speak Dave like a second language.
Dave doesn't think you're funny, but he...
No, no.
He retweeted one of my videos.
No, no, but he respects that funny people think you're funny. I he... No, no. Retweeted one of my videos. No, no, but he respects that funny people think you're funny.
I live in that same world.
That's what he's saying with Dave.
I will.
His comedic, like, what he likes is very particular,
where it's not...
He likes a lot of unintentional fucking comedy.
Right, exactly, but he knows that other funny people
think you're funny, so he's like,
I think Sass is funny.
Yeah, like, if you list, like, the people funniest to him, he'd probably put
White Sox Dave and me, and it's like, well, what do they do?
It's the tank. Unintentional comedy.
He didn't laugh
when he came on that show.
In terms of unintentional comedy?
Yeah. He didn't even react
to me pulling out the Sixers jersey.
I thought he was going to think it was hilarious.
He doesn't like bits.
He hates bits. He literally never he never even commented on it.
He threatened to quit Pick'Em because every year to start the season,
Rico would just name fake names and be like,
yeah, my Heisman, I got Jackie April Jr. on the Rutgers.
And Dave was like, I'll quit if you keep doing this.
Dave's the funniest guy that's never told a joke.
Right.
Exactly.
That's the perfect way to put it.
Good point.
I got to piss.
Shout out to Brandon.
He's fucking putting beers down
with the boys.
Yeah, I'm at three.
Dude, I just pissed
and I forgot that
I had my face painted.
And I saw myself
and I was like,
oh my God, dude.
What is wrong with you?
See you, boys.
Those are good guys.
I don't care what you say about them.
Yeah, I don't care
what they say about them around here.
All right, do you want to do the porn thing now?
Do you think the Wicked Witch of the West has a green pussy?
Yeah, dude.
No, I think...
Her whole body's green.
No, no, no, but her tongue is pink.
The interior of the pussy is still green.
Or snow, it's pink.
The outer edges are green.
I guarantee you that shit's tight as fuck, too.
That shit's grippy.
Because she's so-
Like, the tension she holds-
No, I think riding a broomstick, it's a natural kegel.
Just the anger she holds inside of her.
And who's there to fuck her?
Like, there's not a-
But that being said-
Moisture will kill her.
What about Glinda's?
Oh, shit.
Glinda the Good Witch probably has that-
Good pussy.
I guarantee you she's got a little tuft above.
That little tuft.
It's probably endearing.
I've seen the worst.
What the hell?
Who's this?
Was that Maresh?
Oh, shit.
Yo, city boy.
Tungsten, we're in Tungsten Club.
We meet here sometimes.
Young Maresh.
What up, Patelli?
There's a...
IBM's in chat.
Is the Thompson meeting here tonight?
It's happening right now.
Young Marash, for sure.
All right.
Shit, TJ, you missed a layover.
You have a roller bag, Marash.
I just got in from Vegas.
Where were you in Vegas?
I was at a bachelor party.
Sick.
Where'd you go?
Everywhere.
You see naked women?
Yeah.
How are you feeling? Feeling. Encore? Seeing naked women? Yeah. Yo.
How are you feeling?
Feeling great.
I'm very tired.
Sass, Maresh just said he saw some naked girls in Vegas.
That's crazy.
I've never met Maresh.
Oh, my God.
You've never met Maresh?
Just met him for the first time.
That's my boy, Maresh.
Legend.
What the hell is Maresh doing here?
There's a tungsten meeting.
Maresh, put on the headphones.
They had the hurricane?
There's a hurricane.
Closer to the tropical storm. Yeah. Closer to the mic. I. Maresh, put on the headphones. They had the hurricane? There's a hurricane. Closer to the...
It was a tropical storm.
Yeah.
Closer to the mic.
I follow Maresh on all platforms.
He accidentally DM'd you once.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I thought it was Nick and Rudy, so I had just taken them to Feeney Pizza, and they always
love stealing my put-ons.
And then you posted a story from there, and I said, fuck you, you fucking bitch. You steal all my fucking put-ons and then you posted a story from there i said fuck you you fucking bitch you
stole all my fucking put-ons and then i saw it was you i like freaked out and instantly deleted it
on instagram yeah i was like i can't let that go through it's so funny if you didn't notice
it's like a day or two after you followed me i I was like, I can't let that one slide there. He put on me.
That's so funny.
That feels great.
So good.
The hot sauce.
Yeah.
A put on is like if I tell you something you didn't know about and you like it, I put you on.
He needs to put on King.
Oh, he's the prince.
The prince.
Sorry, prince.
Are you the king?
I might be king.
I'm the king?
Maybe.
He may be.
Honestly, like unbiased, sneakily, probably fucking clicky.
Resh, when did you go to Vegas?
Friday.
Holy shit.
No, was it Thursday?
It was Friday.
Friday, yeah, because I missed my flight.
How hot is it?
It's a long time to be Resh.
Yeah, classic, yeah. 18? Classic Resh. Yeah, because I missed my flight. How hot is it? It's a long time. 18? Yeah, classic. 18?
Classic rash.
Yeah, classic me.
18 from Jay.
18 for us.
Thank you.
Was it a day party or was it spinning?
Oh, no.
I went to Hakkasan.
It was raining the entire time we were there.
The pools were all closed.
Three for TJ.
He closed the pools?
Yeah, they were all closed.
It was like lightning every day.
Fuck that, dude.
Yeah.
Any magic? Do you see Blaine or anything?
No Blaine.
What clubs did you go to?
Hakkasan.
I saw Hackensack.
Did you do day parties?
No, it was raining and lightning
every day. They were all closed.
Is that why you're back on Monday?
Yeah.
No, my flight was fine. Some guys are stuck there right now. Every day. They're all closed. Is that why you're back on Monday? Yeah. Your flight got delayed?
No, my flight was fine.
Some guys are stuck there right now.
You did the Monday fly back Vegas?
Yeah.
That's a bold move.
That's a bold move.
But we got there Friday.
I missed my flight Friday because I was up over you.
You were already fucked up.
Huh?
How old are you?
28.
Vegas.
Edit that.
Edit that.
Edit that out.
Hey, I'm Maresh.
I didn't know you were that young.
Shit.
You're a young bull.
If somebody brings my name up for membership tonight, are you going to tap your card?
Did you fill out the form?
He didn't even fill out the form.
I wasn't asked to fill out the form.
Francis applied to be in the Tungsten Club.
That was the worst application I've ever seen.
The worst.
He's supposed to be smart.
What did he say?
We asked him what his favorite element was.
You think you'd say tungsten?
He just said iron.
Oh, my God, iron?
I do love iron.
Rumpeled it up, tossed it.
I would have said of surprise.
That's pretty good.
We might have to have you do an application.
So what's happening at Tungsten Club with you moving?
We're going to have two branches.
There's going to be a Greater Chicago area.
You do like two times a year or something?
We're doing meetings in New York when I'm here and Kyle,
and then we're doing the convention.
I love it.
Summits.
Summit in Chicago.
You should have a convention like BravoCon.
People can pay to be as a...
We're in Chicago in the warm months.
Are you moving to Chicago? No.
I love how people ask that all the time.
All the time. He works here.
I honestly think if my
friends moved to Chicago,
then what the fuck? Yeah, wait.
Wait a minute.
That was brutal.
I got myself in a trap.
Well, fuck you too, Seth.
Ah, damn.
Dave doesn't think you're funny.
I feel like you already told me that already.
You already said that.
Fuck.
I feel like if my...
He's talking about Bo.
He's talking about Bo.
He's just talking about one guy.
Bo moved to Chicago.
Bo moved to Chicago.
I'm out in Chicago.
What's Bo's deal?
He's obsessed, buddy.
That's his fly fishing.
All right.
So we'll get him. You probably could. We'll get him to Chicago. Bo moved to Chicago. I would's his fly fishing. All right. So we'll get him.
You probably could.
We'll get him to Chicago.
If Bo were to Chicago, I would actually move to Chicago.
All we got to do is get Bo to Chicago.
That's my brother.
So he wants to fish?
That's easy.
You got a lake.
It'd have to be Bo.
You got a lake.
It'd have to be Bo, Nate, and Matt.
Yeah, and you got to get Nate there.
What if we gave Bo 10 grand?
Would he move?
Oh, who?
He would move for one grand.
Okay.
He's got a boy named-
Bad friend.
You just negotiated your family for both.
Maresh, you're officiating this wedding, the bachelor party, right?
No, not this one.
The New Orleans one.
But I'm officiating it in like three weeks.
You got your whole thing ready?
The whole thing ready, yeah.
Wait.
You have a wedding on a college football Saturday?
In the South?
It is in Denver.
Oh, that's the South.
What date?
What date?
9-16.
Oh, my God.
Oh!
Bad friend.
Bad friend.
Bad friend.
Is that a Saturday?
He's going to miss Clemson and Florida State.
He'll be out there 9-7 to 9-11.
So I'll get us out of there in like a 10-10.
It's Mark McGuire's birthday.
9-16 is always a Saturday.
How the fuck do you know that? Is it always a Saturday? I just It's Mark McGuire's birthday. 9-16 is always a Saturday. How the fuck do you know that?
Is it always a Saturday?
I just know when Mark McGuire's birthday is.
Because Thanksgiving's always a Thursday.
Don't listen to Rico.
Think about it.
A concussion that day.
If Thanksgiving's always a Thursday.
I think 9-16 is Mark's.
9-16 is always a Saturday.
Fellas, they're struggling.
We've got to pick it up.
You would not.
I'm at like four.
I just watched Che.
I watched Roan tell Che to take a sip, and then Che almost vomited on that big chug.
Is that another one?
It's 19 for us.
If you have to puke, there's no shame in puking.
Look at my boy Maresh.
I'll give you three guesses to guess where he's from.
We got 17.
I'll go.
I'll go first.
Kentucky.
Jersey.
Yes, it does. Labor Day is always the fourth.
Egypt. Don't get caught in this.
Pakistan. Do not get caught in what he's doing.
Back out. Sass.
You're flying.
Was this 16 or 17? Oh, 10th. I didn't mean to say 11.
Did New Jersey? Nick just finished
17th. I flew on 7-11.
Ohio. I just triggered. I went to Miami
of Ohio. Of an honor.
Forever in a day. Redhawks. I was in 7-11. I just triggered. Went to Miami of Ohio. Of an honor. Of an honor, yeah.
Forever in a day. Red Hawks.
Man, I was going to hit the tower.
Hit this tower.
Red Hawks.
Talking Miami of Ohio?
20.
Yes, sir.
You guys are fucking.
Ball State doesn't give enough credit.
How many beers?
Look, I'm carrying my weight.
Can you activate TJ?
I don't know.
They're pumping us.
TJ, activate.
I think you've already activated him twice or three times.
He did it twice. This is the third. How many we got? Can we activate Zaha? Let's activate Zaha.'re pumping it. TJ, activate. I feel like you've already activated him twice or three times. He did it twice.
This is the third.
How many we got?
Can we activate Zah?
Let's activate Zah.
Yeah, let's activate Zah.
Activate, activate.
Oh, look.
He's already.
Bam.
You guys ever play Hydra?
Where are you from then?
I played Hydra Plained.
What?
Oh.
Maresh had a weird thing happen to him at a bar.
It was a bar he was a regular at.
He would go multiple times a week.
What's going on here?
What's going on here?
Another regular.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
What the shit is that?
I just watched cheating.
I just watched cheating happen.
What are you doing?
You're drinking as a team?
What are you talking about?
I just watched cheating happen.
If you finish those, it's done?
Boys, chug.
Yeah, we're done.
It's over.
I'm on my sixth beer.
I feel like I carried my weight.
That's not a lot.
That's not a lot. It says the guy who drank two. We're supposed to be the guy who I feel like I carried my weight. That's not a lot. That's not a lot.
It says the guy who drank two.
We're supposed to be the guy who drank ten.
I carried my weight.
Get them together.
The race isn't over yet.
You've got to be a stop at the 90-meter mark.
I'm more of a marathon guy than a sprinter.
I just dealt with this for three days.
Why am I doing this again?
Are you up to get a tattoo?
It's like you drank 40.
I don't know if I'm up.
If you had any fucking heroin.
I was 240 three years ago.
What makes you so cool?
What makes me so cool?
I follow you.
The lid is crazy.
What makes you so cool?
I don't know.
Maresh, why do you think you're better than all of us?
What the fuck?
How long you got?
What makes you so cool?
I don't know.
How did you meet Nick?
I was helping some guy move.
We were on opposite ends of a couch.
Chris, right?
When was that?
What was that?
Two years ago.
Opposite ends of the couch. I was lifting it higher. He was being a pussy. When was that? When was that? Two years ago? Yeah, like two years ago.
Wow.
Opposite ends of the couch.
I was lifting it higher.
He was being a pussy.
Yeah, that's true.
We kind of looked alike.
One big difference, but kind of looked alike.
Beards or stashes?
Stash plus beard. Or ICP.
You just seem like a very good vibes guy.
Good vibes guy.
He is.
Who do you think is the better Indian?
You guys are Native Americans very good vibes guy. Good vibes guy. He is. Who do you think is the better Indian? You guys are Native Americans.
Whoa, Rico.
Rico.
What a question.
What a question.
Oh, my Lord.
Oh, my God.
What was your answer?
Yeah, fuck.
Obviously, my own people.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
I agree. Yeah, fair enough. I agree.
Yeah, but do you guys feel like you're not as rare?
Whites are rare.
I'll go to any white girl's Instagram comments and see a hundred of you.
It's true.
I'm like an endangered species in this office.
Hell no.
Oh, in this office.
I mean, Indian dudes are horny, and they're also like massive incels at the same time.
They're on both sides
of the same thing.
There's a billion
incels.
What is happening?
There's billions of people.
You can't be like
everyone's the same.
Oh, I've said this before.
Dude, if there's a billion
of them,
they have to be horny
to make that many.
I've said this before.
There are,
there's a lot of
horny Indian dudes
and then there's a lot
of dudes who are Indian
who hate women.
Was it Sass's birthday
was just you two out? Yeah, yeah. Oh, it was He just asked you that the whole. Was it Sass's birthday? It was just you two out?
Yeah.
Oh, it was KB's birthday.
He just asked you that the whole time?
That was my birthday.
It was your birthday.
It was your birthday.
They all left, and it was just Sass and I.
It was just me and Moresh.
It was just like, who's hornier?
He started unloading ideas.
He went on this, like, he started talking about Andrew Tate, and then, like, then it got into horniness, and then he's like, all Indian dudes are super horny.
No, Sass was uncomfortable.
He's like, why aren't you hard as fuck right now?
TJ, 17.
Why don't you compliment that girl's titties?
TJ, let us know when you, have you acted?
Yeah, 18.
Yeah.
I'll be done in a sec.
All right.
Should we just, wait, wait, Ron, let's just chug this together.
Do you guys also, like, team up and get mad at Columbus for being a fuckhead?
He's not.
21.
Or 19.
19.
You're thinking Vasco.
If we all chug one, we'll win.
TJ, you done?
Yes.
Nah, we already lost.
No, we didn't.
They already did.
I already finished mine.
Did you see the opener?
Yeah, I got it.
Did I lose it?
You got it?
Thanks, Marsh.
It's going to destroy you.
It's going to kill a shot.
That's game.
22.
That's game. 23. Ah, shit. It's going to destroy you. For the kill shot. That's game. 22? That's game.
23?
Ah, shit.
I drank so poorly.
I think when they reviewed the tapes, it was three against three.
Our fourth was dead weight.
Brendan, how many?
You would think.
He had four, right?
Son of a fucking crackhead.
He would have developed one of these establishments.
How does he not have a drug vice?
No, his only vice is anxiety.
And chicken sandwiches.
And chicken sandwiches.
And getting shows canceled.
And like staying up late.
Stomping around.
Repulsed by water.
I got six cans next to me.
I did my job.
I had six.
You're supposed to be the superstar, though.
Being a narcissist.
It's like Michael Jordan being like, yeah, I put up 15 tonight.
No, we all said we have to all have six.
He didn't carry his weight.
You knew Brandon wasn't going to carry his weight.
How many did you guys have?
None of you guys had six.
Also, look at the nine.
I was in the bathroom on Jones' mouth.
You said you had six.
I made it into your mouth.
And then I drank two.
A guy who's 270, six fives should drink four. Oh, Jones. You said you had six. How much have I made it into your mouth? And then I drank two. A guy who's 270, six fives should drink four.
Oh, okay.
I think I went 9, 7, 6, 3.
Yeah, that's fine.
If you guys cheated, that's fine.
No.
Thank you.
Count them off.
How many did you have, Steven?
Six?
I don't know.
You got six there?
I don't know.
I had at least six. It might have been 8,? I don't know. I had at least six.
It might have been 8-7-6-3.
I had at least six.
Yeah, I think it was 8-7-6-3.
What is that?
I think we got to 20.
Now we're trying to do math.
Yeah, it's 24.
Yeah, 8-7-6-3.
So that's exactly what it was.
Boom.
Shit.
You had seven beers, Ron?
Yeah.
No fucking way.
Ron was fucking crushing.
What are you talking about?
Ron was crushing.
You gotta get your weight up, not your hate up, dude.
I hate you.
Fucking hate you.
I hate you.
Come back and show us your tattoo after.
It was great to meet you finally.
I go on knee or elbow.
You're a good guy.
Marash, it was great to meet you finally.
Vibes guy.
I'm not married.
I know.
I was very excited to see him.
It's just a ring.
You got guys who do marriage bits?
No, that's on the middle finger.
It's his middle finger.
His middle finger on his right hand.
Middle finger.
All right, dude.
You did do marriage for a bit.
Whistle yourself.
Time out.
15.
Give him 15.
How many fucking needles did this dude bring?
One. Is it over?
Tattoo dude. The thing is, all the tattoos
started with Clemmer, and I feel like Clemmer
his build,
it's Mercury-esque.
He probably has a drop of blood in him.
There's no way that he
has blood flowing through him.
There's no way that there's a rapid... Brandon. There's no way that there's like a rapid.
Brandon, you fucked us.
I drank four.
Fucked us.
You did have one extra.
Four out of 19.
That's not that bad.
Fucked us.
Sass, you kind of boned your team.
You're still in the bare men.
How did I bone my team?
I drank four out of 19.
Bare men.
You're the guy.
I'm shit-faced.
16 would be a quarter of it.
You're shit-faced?
Yeah. Get your weight up, bro. You're shit-faced? Yeah.
Get your weight up, bro.
You got to get your weight up.
I drink 23% of our beers.
I should be drinking like 15% of our beers.
You want to get your ass kicked right now, brother?
I think Nick's makeup held up the best.
Are we going to stop drinking the beers?
No, no.
I want to keep drinking.
Keep drinking, dude.
That's how it goes.
You got to quit talking to me.
I told you I'm a marathon guy, not a sprinter.
Oh, I forgot.
You have a fucking hotel, don't you?
I do.
Oh, so.
Considering he doesn't live in New York anymore, I would assume so.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah.
I'm asked.
I like how Brandon was having.
Put your body on the line.
I like how Brandon was having scheduling issues this week when his flesh and blood does the scheduling.
Your sister is in charge of scheduling,
and you're like, why can't I be in this city at this night?
No, she doesn't schedule the shows, though.
I was having trouble with the shows.
But you could have been like, hey, book me this year.
I should have got here Sunday and done an unnecessary reference yesterday.
But you were trying to go to Boston.
I had six, and you had four. I had four. And you can't do go to Boston. If I had six and you had
four. I had four. And you can't
do regular men. Four is good for him.
So how many did you guys have? One of you guys
fell behind. That's ten.
So you had five. You only had four.
Rico. No chance. There's absolutely no
chance. Rico. What's the chance that we
pour beers? I pulled the
slug that I was supposed to pull. Rico was drinking.
There's no chance.
Honestly, Brandon, can you listen to me?
I have six cans next to me.
They're all empty.
We had an unbiased scorekeeper in TJ.
Hey, check your garbage can.
Maybe the score is wrong.
Put your pussy up.
Maybe the score is wrong.
Check the can.
They needed to step our pussy up.
Oh, none of that.
None of that, Rico.
Don't count anything that's not in there right now.
Rico just put a can in that.
You got beat by three Shreks.
What are you talking about?
One of them is an old Shrek.
No joke.
What?
Young Shrek, middle Shrek, and baby Shrek.
Draco, count one less because I saw you put a bottle in just now
and you just poured yourself a beer.
Your chin's going wild right now.
The chin's going wild.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What?
I look like a fucking vampire.
Is that one of your cousins,
Jay?
I got six. 16, 18,
19. Yeah, that's exactly right.
I got five.
One of you boys is...
One of y'all is lying, because I had four.
Brandon, you could be in there, too. I'm not going to lie.
I'm the only one that's not lying. I know that for a fact.
I mean, Brandon, you see the
game of clues. I'm the only one that has my beer cans next to me. a fact. I mean, Brandon, you see the beer cans next to me.
You can see them on camera.
They're right here.
Nobody's saying that you did a bad job.
You did a good job.
Chase said that.
Chase said I did bad.
But if you're going to carry the team, you should probably carry it more than you should.
That's what I was saying.
Dude, I weigh fucking 90 pounds less than all of you.
I mean, LeBron scores 30 at night.
He didn't score.
Rico's lost weight.
Nick hasn't had gluten in fucking months and is doing it for this.
Nick weighs less than me.
10 times as fat.
Keep going, Rome.
Keep going.
You're the fattest fuck I've ever seen, bitch.
And what are you doing?
Sass is baffled by Zydrunas Lugoskis.
You just complimented their weight.
I'm going to go bust our guy here.
Shut up, Asian.
You look like a buck toy.
What do you guys want to eat?
Six foot hero.
Fucking chicken cutlet,
moats, roasted peppers.
Don't say moats.
Maybe get a six foot hero.
Guys, can we talk about the mean girls?
Yeah, let's do it.
First of all, their show isn't even pluralized.
It's a mean girl.
That makes no fucking sense.
I thought it was mean girls. No. It's a mean girl. A mean girl is a modifier, though. It's Mean Girl. That makes no fucking sense. I thought it was Mean Girls.
No.
It's Mean Girl.
Really?
Mean Girl is a modifier, though.
It's like you're a Mean Girl.
There's two of them.
I think Mean Girl is trademarked.
This is the movie.
Mean Girls is?
Lindsay Lohan was a fucking die.
TJ, I hate to do this to you.
Wait, wait.
Who's the hottest in that movie?
I compared that once to the Mets rotation in 2015.
It really was that good
because Lacey Schabert, incredible.
Allison Seyfried, incredible.
That's not her name.
Not Allison Seyfried.
What's her name?
Amanda.
Amanda Seyfried.
Yeah, she's a sleeper.
She's like Wheeler.
And then who's the other?
Lindsay Lohan, obviously, and Rachel McAdams.
So McAdams, I did this. McAdams oh yeah so McAdams I did this McAdams
is the Grom longest career yes fair isn't that the guy who's always hurt yo you don't know what
dude what about Faye which one of those pitchers was the biggest question
you don't even watch baseball that's why I asked asked the question. Yeah, but DeGrom, he did win a Cy Young.
Are you still texting Mike Trout?
Yeah, we're pals.
Wait, is Dave out of that league?
Yeah, we're pals.
Is Dave out of that league?
No, he's in it again.
Wow.
Can we group source a text to send Mike Trout right now?
I think it's got to be a selfie.
Is he playing right now?
Are they playing?
Yeah.
It doesn't matter.
He's the most active guy on the group chain by far.
Send him a selfie right now, and then we've got to think of the caption for it.
Is he playing right now?
If he's playing right now, then no.
So what?
He'll come off.
It's not like it's going to bother him.
He doesn't have a phone in baseball pants.
Oh, postponed.
Yeah.
Let's go.
All right.
What should we send Mike Trout?
So take the selfie first, and maybe holding up two balloons,
or what's a good way to make it extra green and be like,
dude, I'm green with envy, green with jealous rage.
I don't know.
Workshop this with me.
Your hands.
He's a good dude.
All right, now.
No, pull a big dick move and just send the Apple cash at the exact price of it.
You're going to get sucked dry tonight.
Good.
That's sick, bro.
Send that to Trout right now.
How about Miss You Buddy or something like that?
Miss You Bad Buddy.
Don't say Miss You Bad.
Miss You Super Bad, my buddy.
Miss You Super Bad, homie.
It ain't easy being green. It Miss you super bad, my buddy. Miss you super bad, homie. Homie.
It ain't easy being green.
No, but quote it, hyphen Kermit.
He's going to get a fucking restraining order.
No, I think this is going to play with Trout.
I think this is going to play big time.
Fucking stop.
As a Philly guy.
Let's order something up.
What do you want?
Let's put it here.
Nick Mangold offered to pay for dinner.
Wow.
He texted me today. He said, how can I help to pay for dinner. Wow. He texted me today.
He said,
how can I help?
We gotta get him.
He texted me before.
Yes.
Jet spies.
If you want
a specific type of food,
let me know
and he will...
Sash challenged him
to rough and round it.
You only have four beers.
Just get like
fucking...
You only have four
fucking beers, Sash.
Fucking dick.
Wait, you only had four?
He's got four cans over here.
What do you mean we did i already took
a picture of it don't be a fucking dumbass give me my beers give me give me a picture of your
empties give him his empties back no no give me a damn you haven't added an empty picture myself
yeah weirdo yeah weirdo the whistle on him reek take a picture of my six he's a weirdo
hey certified weirdo you guys couldn't say I had six empties.
Were you starstruck?
I was so nervous, dude, and then it worked out.
It wasn't even that impressive.
I didn't even take a picture of it.
I didn't take a picture of it.
I said that to make sure.
You're like the same age as me, Nick.
I feel like you're an internet 1.0 guy.
Is drinking out of cups a top tiertier internet video, would you say?
Ooh.
I don't think I can get a six-foot hero right now.
It's up there with Unforgivable.
All right, fair enough.
What do you want me to get?
Can I get Chris Kyle?
A shitload of fresh mutts, though.
When's he going to get fresh mutts?
Italian bread.
I'm with it.
Like pepperoni.
Mutts.
The mutts.
Yeah, just go.
I don't know this video.
Call for shots.
Drinking out of cups? No, no, drinking out of cups? Look know this video. I don't know this video.
No, no, drinking out of cups?
Look at this guy.
He's the fucking king of tying nuts.
You don't know this fucking video?
I don't know it.
Please play it.
Can we play it?
It's YouTube.
Johnny Hamcheck videos.
I love Johnny Hamcheck so much.
Pull this up, then Hamcheck.
I'm going to look like a doofus because it's not.
Hamcheck has been a menace in Columbus for about a year.
You really never saw drinking out of cups? I don't think I've seen drinking out of cups. Hamcheck has been a menace in Columbus for about three years now. Dude, you really never saw Drinking Out of Cups?
I don't think I've seen Drinking Out of Cups.
Have you seen Drinking Out of Cups?
I've never even heard of it.
Have you seen Drinking Out of Cups?
It's one of the classic all-time funny junk e-bombs.
It's the lizard.
The lizard's narrating it.
Indian?
What was he?
Not ever.
No way.
Now he's Johnny Hammersticks.
Hammering away like he's frickin' Tommy Noble.
The hell is he doing?
Because it sucks.
What are you showing me?
It sucks ass.
I thought Rowan.
It does feel like, it feels like New York.
It's like if you're from.
I mean, there's a million lines.
You knew someone from Staten that was like this.
You knew someone from Rockaway that was like this
it's like a video
if you're from Staten Island
that's the first YouTube video
you ever see
you're like that's the funniest thing
it was
I don't know
there's a lot of stuff
why is the lizard
talking in a New York accent
yeah
if you had never seen that
that's like being
going back to like
a Dick Gregory
like stand up set
or something
being like
oh that's Clay
he's the fucking
king of tired nuts
no one made that joke before.
A lizard had never spoke
with New York accent.
Exactly.
He was a pioneer.
Are you a big Dice Clay guy?
He was a pioneer.
Yeah.
I prank called
into Kirk's show
with Dice Clay.
Really?
What'd you say?
Tell a joke.
He was doing this thing
about Polish people
the other day.
I'm like,
I told a joke as Dice.
Here's what it is is What was the joke?
Tell the joke
A Polish
No, no, do it, do it, do it
Oh
Oh
There's a Polish scientist
He's experimenting with frogs
First frog
Four legs, jumps 12 feet
Cuts off a leg
Frog with three legs, jumps 8 feet
Frog with two legs, jumps 4 feet
Frog with one leg, jumps 2 feet Cuts off all leg. Frog with three legs jumps eight feet. Frog with two legs jumps four feet.
Frog with one leg jumps two feet.
Cuts off all the legs.
He's going, jump, frog, jump.
He's going, frog won't jump.
He writes down.
Scientist writes, post-scientist writes down.
Frog with no legs, he's deaf.
Oh!
That's a banger.
That's a good joke.
Oh!
You made that yourself? It's Dice Clay. It's a good joke. Oh. You made that yourself?
It's Dice Clay.
It's Dice Clay.
On the internet.
Where do you go to get internet jokes, though, especially about old comedians?
Are you watching YouTube populations?
I think there was old websites.
My coach in college used to make us tell a joke at the end of practice every time.
You do Dice Clay every time?
Not every time.
Telling a joke is one of the great skills in life, though.
Sam Kinison?
Yeah.
Sam Kinison is hilarious.
I still like the one about the school teachers.
What did he say?
I like the one about moving where the food is.
What did they say?
What does that mean?
When he's talking about starving people that live in the desert?
Just move where the food is?
I don't know about that.
He yells at them?
What did he say?
I also like his, are you lonesome tonight?
Say the joke. It's not a very good joke if it can't, like his are you lonesome tonight from the. Say the joke.
It's not a very good joke if it can't be delivered like Sam Kenison.
Well, you got to say the joke.
I regret getting into this.
I'm not.
We just sat down to get a tattoo.
Do we want a spy cam?
Yes.
Yes. How can we?
Yes.
Connor, can we set that up?
Can we do it in here?
What do you guys want to eat?
I got to order.
It's already all set up.
Some muts.
Some muts.
Maybe some muts.
Just fresh.
Yeah, I'll eat.
Fresh muts.
Call like focaccias or something. Whatever you want. F some muts. Just fresh. Yeah, I'll eat. Fresh muts. Call like for kachis or something.
Whatever you want.
Kachis.
Who's your fucking drunk food?
What?
Fresh muts is your drunk food?
No, I just could crush it though.
What was that?
Jack and Jill went up the hill both for the buck 25.
Not bad.
Jill came back with 250.
Bro, my wife had no idea about the dirty nursery rhymes.
I was playing it on YouTube the other day.
It's fucking hysterical.
I've never heard of that. He got banned from MTV. What?
Dirty Nursery Rhymes?
Ever seen Andrew Dice Clay? Dice Clay? You don't know
Dice Clay? You know the Dirty Nursery Rhymes?
You gotta get into the internet. It was a Saturday Night Live and almost
broke the show. Andrew Dice Clay hosted
Saturday Night Live? Yeah, and he almost broke the show.
Half the women on the show wouldn't do it.
Oh, yeah. They both went up in here with a buck
25. Joe came back with
250. You fucking know he says that, too.
I only know him from, what was he?
Blue Jasmine?
Is that a movie?
Was he in that?
What are you talking about?
You're making things up.
Andrew Dice Clay was like a supporting actor in Blue Jasmine.
He was not in that.
He wasn't in it.
I'm pretty sure he was.
That's what you're talking about.
No, did you watch Suss?
Did you watch his Showtime?
Did you help me out?
Andrew Dice Clay, MDB.
Blue Jasmine?
Fuck.
Who's the guy who's playing
Pat Riley in Showtime right now?
Oh, fuck.
Where the hell is everybody going?
Tyler Perry.
Tyler Perry from Boo 2.
Where the hell are you going? Where the hell are you going?
It's all this.
Where the hell are you going?
Who plays the guy?
Are we going to convince Big Cat to get tattooed?
They had more.
Who plays Pat Riley in Big Cat?
He's a famous actor.
I haven't watched it.
Can we Google that?
No.
Oh, shit.
Anyway, he convinces that guy to, like, be him.
It's very funny.
Dice was a very funny show.
It got canceled on Showtime.
Very funny show. It got canceled on Showtime. Very funny show.
It got canceled because it was too funny.
Who else did people protest on SNL?
Elon?
Kanye.
Kanye's banned from SNL, I want to say.
How about Sinead O'Connor ripping the thing of the Pope?
And dying.
Yeah, she didn't like the Pope.
Rage Against the Machine.
She was dying at a protest.
I love Adrian Brody.
Adrian Brody.
He, like, he's a real pump on my neck at all times. Adrian Brody. Adrian Brody. He's like,
he's a real pump on my neck at all times.
Oh, fuck, it's happening.
Why is he getting a tattoo?
It's a tungsten thing.
What?
Tungsten?
I gotta get in this thing.
It's a bond stronger than brotherhood.
We'll send you the application.
Oh, shit.
I'm vice president.
I got one of those things.
Work on it.
I'm not ready to see this.
Fuck, no more.
Hey, Charger,
aren't those things
like 300 bucks?
Maybe a little bit.
Punxton?
Oh,
tattoos.
This guy,
we're all Venmoing
100 bucks,
but that's Demo.
He's the most gentle
tattoo artist on earth.
Andrew Dice,
Clay,
was in Blue Jasmine.
Suck it.
Who was that?
Suck it towards?
Rico.
God damn,
suck it.
Played Augie.
I'm only 13.
Step your pussy up.
Oh,
Tommy is going to.
Oh my God, that's Tommy?
I'm going to bust up
the tire pump.
Can we...
This is him
spitting in the face
of Catholicism,
is it not?
I don't know.
Should I do the tire pump?
Is he a Catholic?
I thought he was a Jew.
Yes.
Do the tire pump.
He's the most Jewish
presented Catholic
that exists
since Christ, honestly.
He should be...
He should be our He should be canceled.
He's so Jewish.
Like, Harry Styles queer baits.
What is the Jewish...
Jew bait.
He's a Jew bait.
He Jew baits.
And, dude, he went to...
We did a neighborhood eat
at, like, a pastrami spot,
and the way that he was, like,
talking with the guy...
I was there.
I remember.
Oh, you...
Should I do a tie-up?
Do the tie-up.
Nah. Not yet. It's not time. Just do it off-camera. I remember. Oh, you, yeah. Should I do a tire pump? Do the tire pump. Nah, not yet.
It's not time.
All right.
Just do it off camera.
Oh, my God.
He's so nervous.
Do it off camera.
Tommy's offensively Jewish.
He's like a Jewish stereotype.
Dude, Hasidics will look at him
and just be like, chill.
He's like, yeah, exactly.
He's every episode
of Curb Your Enthusiasm
into one.
Neuroses were
a person.
Yeah, what is it?
Yeah.
No, that's racist.
That's more fucked up than
JK Rowling. It's gonna hurt my body.
Tommy is walking propaganda.
Tommy's got two houses
in Borough Park.
And he's allergic to everything
If Goebbels could get his hands on Tommy
Dude they would have won that thing
I'm shocked he's doing that
Why the hell are you fucking hurting my leg
You're racist against yourself
It's not racist It's xenophobic or what You're racist against yourself That's fucked up, Sass
Or what is it?
It's not racist
It's xenophobic or what?
It's isomatic
That's what it is
Sass, or Tommy's turning into such like
He's like a cool guy
But like he's pretending
It's not happening to him
You should tell Graves
Like throw us a bone, dude.
I know you're not on Uber Eats, but...
The Canes.
Or, uh...
Silos?
You want us to text the CEO of Raising Cane's Chicken?
I have his number.
We gotta get this tattoo artist to pretend like he fucked up.
Look at him.
He's like...
What actress did he look like?
Yeah he looked like
A female actress
What's he getting
What's he getting on his thigh?
Square
It's like Audrey Hepburn
Having a cigarette
I think we're friends
I know we're friends
I can't keep up with you
What are you talking about?
You just throw 97 on the black
I can't talk
What did I just do?
Just answer the question, Rico.
Nicky, you're going too fucking quick for us.
It's a tungsten club.
Goddamn Clicky.
Every office has one.
Clicky, ease up on us.
How about Rylan Boyce?
I got to hit pause a couple times.
Staten, bro.
It's Staten, bro.
Yeah, I don't know.
The square aisle.
You and KB, you're fucking freak brands.
That's me.
You got a guy showing up at 9 o'clock with a rolly bag.
You have a meeting.
Like, what the fuck am I supposed to do?
Yeah, what can you do?
But you were hitting him with some tried and true classics.
Time zones.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, that plays.
I think that plays.
It does.
I did it to Frankie.
I did it to Frankie in the golf thing.
We were doing salad bowl shit.
Nuts.
Let's do it.
20K on the fucking view.
You got to do salad bowl.
How long have you been even going for?
A needle hammering in your tummy.
What is the salad bowl?
Karma for every time he's front half.
Is the salad bowl thing where you guys put anything into the salad bowl and you got to eat it?
Yeah, that's it.
That's it.
We all fucking cum on it, Rico.
Salad bowl is exactly what it sounds like.
You ever got your salad tossed, brother?
I can't.
I can never look it.
You ever got lapped up?
I've been with a few who-as.
I can never look it up.
I've been lapped up in a minute.
You're going to make who-ers happen tonight regardless.
It used to be my fucking alarm clock.
Wake up.
Oh, yeah.
I feel like he's wearing Martina Navratilova's skirt right now.
What if we double up names-wise?
Do you think who-is translates to names?
I think it does.
If you have a name, you're a who-er?
Yeah.
I think there's certain sounds and endings to names.
What's the biggest who-er name?
Double up.
Who's the biggest who-er you've ever been with?
Okay.
Mine's Kara.
Kara, that's a who-er name.
Who-er.
Jay, you've only been with like three girls right
Four
Bro
Put some respect to my name
How many is it?
Dude
My belt's got more notches than fucking Brandon's
With your fat ass
I was on your side for a second
Who's the biggest whore?
That was a fat joke
That was a fat joke
Who's the biggest whore?
I thought Brandon was a slut Who's the biggest whore? That was a fat joke. That was a fat joke. Who's the biggest hooah? Oh, I thought
Brandon was a slut.
Who's the biggest hooah?
That was a fat joke.
And he is a filthy bitch.
He's just tubby.
Mine's got to be
Barack Obama, dude.
Did you see those
reports of the guy
that sucked off
Barack Obama?
Yeah, dude.
He cannot stop.
Dude, the craziest shit is
how horny do you have to be
to write a letter?
Yeah.
Jake Marsh is in that Twitter space. How horny do you have to be to be like letter? Yeah. Jake Marsh is in that Twitter space.
How horny do you have to be to be like, I...
That wasn't real?
Yeah.
Dude, Jason Whitlock had a Twitter space.
Does it matter that Barack Obama's gay?
What?
I thought 100% that was Photoshopped.
Dude, a point that I want to make...
There wasn't a photo of it.
We made him do it during PMT.
The point that I want to make is...
If you're questioning sexuality
and you write it down with a feather and ink, you are gay.
You've locked in your sexuality.
No, it's the idea of I don't know if I'm gay.
I'm going to write it down, but then I'm going to go to the post office,
buy a stamp, fucking lick it.
Lick an envelope and put it in the mail.
Oh, my God.
With your Lisa Frank pen and your My Little Pony stamp.
Yes, you are gay.
Obama's a cheap fuck until we got married on Monday.
Did he?
No, don't say that, Rico.
Oh, my.
That's worse than a tan.
People are just catching on.
People are just catching on to the Michelle Obama being a dude.
You were hip to it quick.
I was hip to that.
You were at school lunch and you were like, fucking celery.
I've been hip to that since I was in high school.
Me and my friends were always sending pictures of Michelle.
Who's the female singer that was that?
Sierra.
Yeah, that's right.
There's no way. Sierra's super hot. I know, but there was a rumor that the Clinton. Sierra. Sierra, yeah, that's right. There's no way.
Sierra is super hot.
I know, but there was a rumor that she was a guy.
What's wrong with her being super hot, though?
She could be super hot.
I mean, Michelle's bad as hell.
Like Tommy.
Quarterback's wife, dude.
You guys ever think it's such a coincidence that the Clintons know so many people that were murdered?
Are we doing this?
Yeah, we're doing it.
We're doing this?
All right, Brandon, get it off your chest.
Oh, I don't have that.
That's not in my toolbox.
You're about to look like fucking Maresh with the fucking laser between your eyes.
You're going to play a warped head coincidence.
Must be contagious.
That Monica, she probably sucked a mean dick because she was gross, dude.
This is 96.
She said that, right?
Wasn't that proven that she sucked a good dick?
She was gross.
We never found out the quality of the blowjob.
Would you let her suck your cock right now, Sass?
Obviously.
They said she sucks a good dick.
Yeah.
We don't know that.
She sucked a presidential dick.
Sass, you going into this is like-
Called her the polar opposite of a Taylor Swift fan.
She was a premium hooah.
They called her.
You're right.
Yeah.
She literally blew her way
to the top.
Imagine being pre,
like,
what did you say?
Verified?
Confirmed?
Like a great dick sucker?
What would that do for you?
Well,
it didn't happen to her
until she was dead.
She's not dead.
What the fuck?
Oh,
Monica Lewinsky.
She's not dead?
She sucked the dick
that hard.
She's not dead.
I'm talking about,
oh no,
I'm talking about
fucking what's his name's wife. Nancy Reagan? Nancy Reagan, the throat go. That's a big difference. She was a throat go. Nancy Reagan, yeah, she's dead? She's not dead. I'm talking about fucking what's-his-name's wife.
Nancy Reagan?
Nancy Reagan, the throat goat.
That's a big difference.
She was a throat goat.
Yeah, she's the throat goat.
When do you think head happened for the first time?
Did a caveman get sucked?
Oh, I think early.
Really?
I bet that was happening before sex.
I think Eve went down.
That's impossible.
That's impossible.
I think Eve went down.
Why is that impossible?
Because you have to have sex to reproduce.
Oh, dude. It existed. Eve, would you? That impossible? Because you have to have sex to reproduce. Oh, dude.
It existed.
Eve, would you?
That's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard.
If no one has ever had sex before and you're saying, would you rather put the dick in your mouth or inside of your body?
You would go with your mouth nine times.
Would you rather one of these things feel good and be insensual?
You don't know if it's going to feel good.
You don't know if it's going to feel good.
It's not a nasty dick swerve.
Oh, no, no.
I think that the vagina is the whole, you're like, this goes in there.
No, I'm with Sass.
I think that.
No.
It was 100% the mouth first.
How does a toddler learn?
How does the dumbest human being, a baby, learn?
They put shit in their mouth.
You just want to shut her up?
I think the suck happened during the Crusades.
He was like, I'm going.
I think Eve was giving Adam Wap first.
Okay, I will say it was either head came first, or it was a girl was on her period,
and then she gave head for the first time.
The caveman did not care about period.
He was like, you fucked me so good four weeks ago.
My pussy's bleeding.
I'm going to suck you.
It's way easier to-
I'll suck you now.
It's got to be easier to explore with your mouth as a cavewoman.
So much easier.
And to explore with other people in your body.
That's so disgusting.
Eve was sucking all meat.
When did the first dude eat pussy?
Oh, Stephen Chay.
1973.
Women were voting for 20 years.
Oh, shit shit he did it
Dudes were not eating pussy for a long time
We were kings
The first time pussy's ever been eaten
Was on color television
It was broadcast
It was the Wizard of Oz
And it went from black to white
The US already beat the hockey Olympics
Herb Brooks was like...
New Armstrong came back from the moon.
He was like, what's my next adventure?
One small lick.
Pussy.
I'm going to conquer the pussy.
Next step's back at home.
He's like, what's my next rush?
The next explored land.
Moon smells a lot better than this.
As Aldrin said, fuck that.
I'm going to be the first guy to do this.
All right.
One small lick for mankind.
You're a pussy sick, guys.
You should do it.
Why do you just assume we...
You were definitely paid by an organization.
Yeah, he's backed by big pussy.
He really is.
Backed by big pussy.
There's no way that you were promoted this much
unless there was some kind of financial gain for you.
It's fucking great.
That's a tiny tattoo.
Yeah, but that's true.
I mean, even if it's great, you keep that to yourself
and then you have a cheat code.
It is?
Yeah.
Big W.
Maybe a tramp stamp.
I hate when everyone laughs at me.
Tommy's so gay and so Jewish, but neither.
Unbelievable. He's so gay and so Jewish, but neither. Unbelievable.
He's more Jewish than gay.
I don't know.
He had a very funny bit on the bracket for months.
Maybe even a year, he pretended to be gay, and it was hilarious.
If you're doing a bit for a year, guess what?
Tommy had this hilarious bit.
He was sucking everyone's dick on the show
He was getting his ass reamed
By every cock in the office
What did I do?
What?
Do you think dick was first
Or pussy eaten first?
I think Eve gave Adam Watt first
Definitely
When do you think a rim job was given for the first time?
That had to have been in 2003
It was Janie Ico When do you think a rim job was given for the first time? That had to have been in 2003.
It was Janie Aiko.
She said, I got to eat the booties like grocery.
The first rim job, I wouldn't be surprised if that was like 2016.
60s were fucking wacky, dude.
The 1880s were crazy.
I saw a porn autograph the other day where they were given a rim job,
and I was like, what the shit?
You stood in front of the TV and you blocked it? Why the hell would I ever want to see this?
Either party's enjoying that.
Agenda of order.
What?
Pizza.
You can't lose.
I couldn't find any.
It's all good, pal.
Pizza's a good choice.
Don't pal me, buddy.
Uh-oh.
Oh, all right, chief.
You got a pal and buddy off.
On Reddit, I saw someone that- Oh, you shouldn't read the Reddit. Fuck you. Oh, alright, chief. You got a pal and buddy off. On Reddit, I saw someone that
Oh, you shouldn't read the Reddit. Fuck you.
It was a random Reddit. I'm talking about that one, dude. Relax.
Next thing you know, you're working for fucking Odyssey.
A waiter got
zero. That what did it?
You got bad check?
You know if you worked for Odyssey
and the Reddit would just become
more of a Titanic after the cello
player drowned.
Show's bad, dude.
Rico, you would...
When they did the Strangle rumors, the Strangle rumors was really the last straw.
Did I ever tell you that someone who you might have worked with there reached out to me?
Which one?
I'm not saying his name.
I think you said this on Pickham.
Someone I... go ahead.
Giveth again?
He was like, he hit me up after the whole thing happened.
He's like, so you might have had me dodge a bullet.
And I was like, yeah.
Oh, no, you told me that.
You talked about that publicly.
I was your guy, yeah.
Yeah.
Osborne.
Close.
Close.
Cosborne.
Exactly.
Osborne. Cosborne. That's classic Cosborne. Cosborn. Exactly.
Cosborn.
That's classic Cosborn.
It's Cosborn.
Y'all's in a bad spot.
I look at it as a redemption story, man.
I was on drugs, dude.
You were on drugs?
Yes.
Basically, I was like an anger addict.
I was depressed.
White-eyed now.
You were addicted to anger?
No, I didn't. We all watch your Snickers pie.
Yeah.
Snickers pie. First you take the Snickers. Put them in there. You play it in there. Yeah. Snickers pie.
First you take the Snickers, put them in there.
You put it in there.
It was delicious.
You put it in the freezer.
A lot of people chop it up with a knife.
You crumble, extra crumbles.
You eat a couple.
Sir.
A lot of people chop it up with a knife.
I use my teeth.
Back to being independent.
Can we watch this thing?
Me and Sylvanas.
Me and Sylvanas.
This is so bad.
Yes, that's going to be fire.
Dumbies.
It's going to be fire.
They told me and Sylvanas are cooking fucking chicken carbonara.
That's the only reason you follow.
We're going to watch this thing.
For a collab.
Despite what people say about Sylvanas, she is a content machine.
What do people say about her?
Yeah, whoa. What the fuck? Say anything about her. Stay the fuck away a content machine. What do people say about her? Yeah, whoa.
What the fuck?
Say anything about her.
Staying the fuck away from that one.
Why doesn't Dave like me?
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
Everyone knows Dave.
Everyone knows I fucking love Dave and Sylvana.
I'm happy they're together.
McCall.
Should we call him?
Oh, jeez.
Call him up.
That's my hombre.
Let's spin the wheel and see whose phone we call him on.
I texted him for the Taylor Swift tickets.
He was like, is this a bit?
He's like, who the fuck put you up to this?
Let's spin the wheel and see whose phone we call him on.
Yeah.
I'm not on that one.
Yeah, you are.
Yeah, let's do that.
Let's do that.
I will follow my phone.
Yeah, you are.
I'm in this room.
Pussy.
Oh, fuck.
You can like for pussy.
Everyone inside the studio.
One of us has to call.
I hope it's everybody on the wheel.
So funny.
No, no, but you talk to him, and it's on one of our phones.
No, I don't want to talk.
No, no, you talk to him.
You just said, let's call Dave.
It's one of our phones, and you talk to him.
I can't have this today.
All right.
Fine.
Let's go, TJ.
Jack and Jill went up the hill with a buck and 25.
Say it to Dave.
Jill came back with a two bucks 50.
I don't remember what the joke is.
He doesn't answer my calls, so I might actually.
Jack, it's a W.
He definitely wouldn't answer mine.
It's not my number.
Six of us.
He only has to call once.
You don't have to call to pick up.
You don't have to call.
Six of us in here, not Sass.
You don't have to call to pick up.
It's elimination because he's talking.
He's the one who's talking today. I'm not talking. I know, Sass. Gone in four months anyway. It's elimination because he's talking. He's the one who's talking to them. I'm not talking.
Regardless.
That's fucked up. Yes, yes. Alright, I'll talk.
I gotta go to the bathroom first.
He's leaving. Yeah, he's gonna kill himself.
He's gotta go to the store first.
It's right there on your way out.
Go ahead, TJ. Make the wheel.
Six people. Elimination.
I want to hear Rico talk to him. Come on, dude. So, Sass, you're on the wheel. On the wheel. Six people. You're getting up? I want to hear Rico talk to him.
Come on, dude.
So, Sash, you're on the wheel.
You're on the wheel.
Nickham was two days ago.
Sash, you're on the wheel.
Two days.
All right.
If I have to call Dave, I don't know what I'm going to do.
I'm locked out.
I'm going to invite him to a movie.
What do you mean you're locked out?
Nick and Dave used to live together.
Oh, yeah.
What was that like?
Oh, no, no, no.
I hit him with the cooler.
No, not with the can.
Come on.
Come on.
Put it down.
Come on.
Hey, hey.
Elimination.
Open his wallet.
Open his wallet.
Count his money.
Count his money.
Count his money.
Haven't you had enough shows fucking canceled?
No.
Elimination.
Elimination.
Oh, Jay, you're safe.
The $20 wheel real quick.
Wait, Jay, safe?
Yeah.
Oh, fuck, dude.
It goes all the way to the end. Fucking wheel. Elimination. Your wheel sucks. Oh, you're safe. A $20 wheel real quick. Wait, safe? Yeah. Oh, fuck, dude. It goes all the way to the end.
It's elimination.
Your wheel sucks.
Oh, you're fucked, dude.
I'm so fucked.
I should have said that about the wheel.
I should have said that about the wheel, Rico.
I'm just going to start dialing.
Anybody want any money, I'll sass wallet.
Just count it first.
See how much.
There's so many ones.
I'm actually really nervous.
I don't want to call you.
Come on, dude.
Come on, dude. It's you. There you so many ones. I'm actually really nervous. I don't want to call it. Come on, dude. Come on.
Dude.
It's you.
There you go, Rico.
Fuck you, Ron. Fuck, man.
It matches you.
I'll get fired.
Dude, this fucking thing.
There you go, Nick.
There you go, Nick.
Yes.
Way to play it, Nick.
I haven't talked to him yet, and I don't plan to.
Dude, you have literally two of the three worst possible combos right now.
That would be so disappointing.
We'll just talk about who's getting fired.
Wait, re-spin.
Oh, yes.
I didn't sign up for this fucking thing, man.
Best of seven?
Best of seven.
Best of seven.
Best of seven.
Or it lands on someone Four times
And you're safe
Four times and you're safe
Here we go
One of the three
One of the three
Two days after pick'em
Technically before pick'em
I don't know what I
He's gonna pick up for me
What do I just say
Hey we're calling you on the yak
One one
Alright there we go
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one
One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one One one 1-1. All right, there we go. 1-1. 1-1 to those dangerous tides. Are we going to have Sass talk to him?
What does Sass want to talk to him about?
I'm just going to say we're going to...
That's the deadliest combo.
Sass got one question to ask him.
I have the Sass number.
I know the number.
I counted them up.
How much you got?
Most to guess.
2-1 Rico.
9-20.
2-41.
This is going to suck if it's me because I'm just going to tell him the truth.
357.
Okay, I guess.
Stay. Oh, I guess. Stay.
Oh, no.
No.
Oh, fuck.
I'm going to blow a three.
582.
582.
You texted.
What?
You have $582 in your wallet.
Shut up.
Yeah.
Three, two.
Three, two.
Three, two.
I'm going to blow it.
No, call Dave and just be like, hey, I'm bored.
Like the Knicks in 94.
Yeah, I think the big thing should be playing it off like it's nothing.
Just be like.
Stay, stay, stay, stay, stay.
We got ourselves.
What do you want me to say?
I'm just going to say we spun a wheel.
This is the least interesting.
I love you, man.
Rico, you should just call him.
No, Dan, I'm not doing flea.
No, Rico, it'll be funny.
Okay, then you call him.
You could just call him and throw the phone at Rico. No, it, it'll be funny. Then you call him. You could just call him and throw the phone at Rico.
No, it was supposed to be Sass and Talk.
You call him then.
Jack and Jill, they went up a hill.
They both went up with $1.25.
You have to call and ask if a dick has been sucked first or a pussy eaten first.
That's not fair.
In ancient times.
Also, you could just see if we could get Sass a raise.
Why are you calling?
Yeah, ask if I can get a raise.
Where are you going?
You didn't lose. Are you leaving? I beat you. You can't ask if I can get Sass a raise. Why are you calling? Yeah, ask him if I can get a raise. Where are you going? You didn't lose. Are you
leaving? I beat you.
Ask him if I can get a raise.
Ask him if I can get a raise.
I beat you.
Why is not answering
Big Cat's call?
I'm going to be asleep.
He should be asleep.
He's old as fucking bones.
He'll be booking the garden.
Hey, Rico's got a question for you.
Dude, I beat you.
Ask if I can get a raise.
Ask if I can get a raise.
I'm doing the case race.
Dan somehow put me in there.
Ask if I can get a raise.
Rico, snap out of it, brother.
Snap out of it.
Rico's pussy.
I am pussy.
I definitely am pussy. I'll touch you later. Sorry. Rico's pussy. I am pussy. I definitely am pussy.
I'll talk to you later.
Sorry.
Ask him if I can get a raise.
I definitely am pussy.
Oh, you bastard.
That was disappointing.
I beat him.
Oh, he hates all of us.
Yeah, he hates me.
All right, let me call him.
Let me call him.
How is that fucked up?
All right, let's task call him.
Let's task call him up.
I'm going to drop you his information right now.
You want his number?
732-681-5055.
Is that his number?
Yes.
You have a memory?
That's somebody's number, Quigs.
That's a number.
Quigs, Quigs, Quigs.
Whose number is that?
732-681-5055.
Dial it up.
Well, we can't see that.
Alex Earl was there fucking.
That slut.
Other fucking Alex Earl?
Alex Earl.
Just cut this whole segment, Quigs.
Thank you.
Brandon, can you plug your new show?
Oh, hell yeah.
I can plug Mostly Sports coming this fall, September 12th.
Opposite Pig Central, right?
Well, we don't know what time it is yet.
We were going to give the time away right now,
but I'm torn about whether I want to.
I have a new show, too.
God damn it, Nick.
Let me have one.
What's the show, Nick?
Nick, what time is your show?
It's a video show.
It's not live.
It's going to be a monthly video series called The Put On.
Me and Mook, Rudy, Kyle are all going to go out.
Every day.
Put somebody on to something.
Why don't you just say that's fire?
The first episode will be.
That's fire.
We're going to take Mook clothes shopping.
Mostly sports.
Yeah, it's Trisha's show. Wait, Nick's in the middle of it. As. What time... That's fire. We're going to take Mook clothes shopping. Mostly sports. Yeah, it's Trisha's...
Wait, Nick's in the middle of...
As...
What time?
That sounds fire.
He's going to come out.
You mad at me?
No, I'm not mad at you.
I'm not mad at anyone.
Tuesday, September 12th, 11 a.m. Eastern, 10 Central.
You're not getting in front of this?
I ain't mad at anyone.
You're not getting in front of this?
We called him.
He said, hey.
You're not getting in front of this?
What happened?
11 a.m. Eastern?
All right. You want to talk real talk? this? What happened? 11 a.m. Eastern? All right.
You want to talk real talk?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's all pour a beer.
Let's talk real talk.
I don't understand why you're standing in the way of this time change
when you're trying to get out there with us.
I'll tell you right now, Rico.
When the initial thing happened,
Brandon said he wanted to pick Central's time time slot and I said no I said
no they've been doing the show for three years you can't just come in and take their time slot
now everything's up in the air I don't know what to say I defended you guys I moved it happened
I moved to 11 a.m for you guys the money take the money Brandon take listen the second pen was out
of the picture we could finally go back to
doing a live show. Finally, I can get
half that rack off my pocket. Thank God.
Nobody else was doing it. We could finally do it.
Pass it down to Nick. Take the
money, Nick. That rack's been giving me back
problems. Whatever.
I said we're flexible, but the whole thing
of two shows going opposite
like...
I agree. I don't also.
We've been going for a month at 11 a.m.
Y'all took the time slot.
What did I tell him?
Ask Brandon what I told him.
Wait, we got ourselves a stand-up note.
Tell the joke.
Tell the joke.
Y'all took the time slot that I moved to for you.
Via us getting moved.
Y'all took the time slot that I moved to for you.
So the first one's U-Haul.
You're trying to come out with us.
Wait, they're just going to give a 22-year-old a U-Haul?
No, don't do my show, killer.
Don't.
No.
You're going to cut this.
You're going to cut this.
This is almost all of my indexes.
I don't have a David Buster.
This is NYC drinking.
You know how crazy it is to fucking drink in New York City?
We would have.
As a 22-year-old.
So I left as a millionaire to my right.
And we would have just gone.
Homeless guy.
You know what I'm saying?
I move for you.
Cut all of this.
Cut all of this.
No, no.
We would have gone for a month straight at 10 a.m.
This way we wouldn't have to move a second time.
I move.
This means I have to move for a second time.
What does it say?
You've had all your show hasn't debuted.
Who cares if it's debuted?
I plan for a spot that you guys made me go to in the first place.
All right, fine.
Literally no one gives a shit about it.
If you're better than us, it is what it is.
No, no, Brandon.
Rico, I got you, but when I said to you, I was like, it was 10 a.m.
I told Brandon he should do it 9 a.m.
There's one in black pen.
Now he's doing literally opposite us.
I agree.
I move once for them, and then they.
These simultaneous conversations are the height of comedy right now.
Rico wants to take my spot and then come out to Chicago and be on my show.
Why the fuck did I say I want to be on your show?
You literally screenshotted me.
All right, you're giving away all my material.
Why the fuck did my mom take me to Hooters?
Does she want me fucking hard?
Yeah, that's actually not what that joke's about at all.
We would have just gone at 10 a.m. from the get-go.
It would have been an easier transition.
Nick, give me that piece of paper back.
If my mom wanted me fucking hard,
she'd just...
It's not what that joke's about.
Give it to me.
What's dash shit?
Don't worry about it.
Oh, there's a back.
All right.
We got to figure this out.
No, no, no.
What does it say?
We got to figure it out now.
We'll talk about it more.
We got to figure it out now.
All right, let me lay it out very quickly. Give me my best material. Let's know its version. Anyway, no. What does it say? We got to figure it out now. We'll talk about it more. We got to figure it out now. All right, let me lay it out very quickly.
Give me my best material.
Lips, notes, version.
Anyway, no.
So we got to focus all on one conversation at the same time.
Lips, notes, version.
Because that shit was awesome.
I'll give it to you real quick.
You can ask Dan the conversation I had with him, and then I came in today, and you stared
at me like an intimidating thing.
You're going to Dave and Buster's court.
Give me that.
All right.
It's mine.
And I was leaving New York the first time.
I wanted the 12 o'clock slide ahead of the yak.
Dan told me, no, don't take it.
Leave it alone.
Let Pick Central.
Oh, I said you can't take something that already exists.
Correct.
Yes.
And I didn't take it.
I said, okay, well, I'll do 11.
A lot of people that want to fucking hear this are in this room.
I'll do 11 a.m.
No one gives a shit about Pick Central time.
So I moved to 11 a.m.
And then Kevin came in, took their spot, and they won't take my spot.
That's the truth.
That's the truth.
And you should just move up.
Why do I keep moving for them?
Because you should.
Because.
All right, can we talk about this?
Because me and Roan are going to be.
You just should.
Why not?
Can we talk about this?
I've already done it once.
Me and Roan.
If you do it, and you do it well, and you're a bigger show, then you get to pick your time slot.
I think that's how it should work.
So me and Roan are regulars on Arsenal Radio now.
And we want 1 p.m.
And maybe a name change.
We want to call ourselves something like The Rack.
I don't know.
We're still fooling around with names. We've got to get Rico back. He's gone. We're to call ourselves something like the Rack. I don't know. We're still fooling around with names.
We got to get Rico back. He's gone.
We've lost Rico.
I know Rico. We've lost Rico.
One at a time.
You want to come move out with us.
You're out there in what, a year?
We got to bring Rico back.
Conversation I had with you couldn't have been
calmer. And I told you you should move with you was couldn't have been calmer.
And I told you you should have. Literally couldn't have been calmer.
Fine. I told you from the get-go, if we
would have gone to 10, moving twice in
two weeks is like... If somebody asked you to move twice, you could have moved
the first time. That's true.
That is true.
What? Start at
10? You're saying go from 10 from the get-go?
You could have moved once
I knew that that spot was taken
Y'all knew that that spot was taken
Y'all knew that
Y'all knew that
The show hadn't debuted dude
Okay but you know
You just know that that's because the studio changed
And because we moved
You two need to fuck already
I think Brandon you should do
The hour before,
and if your show's bigger,
then you get to pick which spot you want.
That's what I told you from the get-go.
That is what I told you from the get-go.
Has there been some beef about it?
Already moved.
I understand, but the show has not debuted.
They knew it was going to, though.
I understand.
And then they took the spot anyway.
I understand that's shitty.
It is very shitty.
It's not took the spot.
It's got moved into the spot.
Right, but Marty.
I'm going to show you how to make a simple Snickers pie.
I think we'll really be talking about four cups Snickers ice cream.
This was fucked up.
Four cups Snickers.
And ice cream to a big bowl.
Brandon, what we really need to be talking about is how can we get Julian Lewis to Mississippi State?
That needs to be decided.
Are you going to do salad bowl?
Yes.
Let's get Rico back in a good mood.
A week ago, I was the most even-keeled person.
I'm still getting like...
You're not getting anything that you're not giving to me.
So they'll do an hour earlier, and I think in six months, getting anything that you're not giving to me. So they'll do
an hour earlier and I think in six months
if they're bigger, they get to decide.
Is that not fair?
Yeah, you act like I had a problem with it.
So of all football season?
Yeah, all football season.
Go to the Super Bowl
and then if Brandon comes to me
and says, look...
Julian Lewis, the number one recruit.
I think that's fair break.
He's not being selected.
He's fixated on the 11 o'clock time.
How do we get Julian Lewis to Mississippi State?
It's impossible.
It's cash.
It's not impossible.
9 a.m. time is better for you.
To Six Flags.
Everybody, the morning drive is.
And not only that.
Hold on.
Can I just bring in one more voice?
Seriously, the morning drive, son of a boy,
we get like 300 out of our 75,000
views for that. Can I bring in one more
voice? TJ, you've heard all this. How you feel?
Dude, TJ does
the ones and twos. He doesn't give a shit about you.
I don't know if
the audience is proven for morning
shows. I think it'll be fine.
Joe's?
Danny. Let Danny settle it.
Danny. If anyone can
settle it, it's gotta be Danny. I will go
an hour earlier. Done.
We're finished with this conversation.
Let them both have their
sides out. Let Danny make a decision.
Alright, before you even jump into this,
do you think Dick was sucked before
he was eaten for the first time?
Yes.
When do you think Dick was sucked for the first time?
What?
That's a good point.
We're all gay.
Gay women.
I don't think that was a thing back then.
They were gay women.
They fought and they fucked
the guys.
What about the women?
What were they doing? Oh, it was the dudes sitting at the fucking...
Women weren't gay until Biden was president.
That's right.
That's a fact.
Brandon, go figure it out with him.
I have made every concession.
Talk to him.
How many concessions am I going to make?
I know.
Go talk to him right now.
I just said I would brought this up.
Clear it up.
Clear it up.
You have a chance off air.
Clear it up.
I have to bend over and get fucked every way here.
No, no, no.
I'll see you guys later.
I don't know what to do.
Danny has the fact that Danny's staying here at 930 at night is hilarious.
You got to figure that out.
He's got to keep him arrested.
You got to figure that out for vibes.
You got to settle this like men.
Who can make a dick come faster?
Yeah.
Oh, God.
I don't.
A volunteer's tribute.
To come. You just got to go talk. Oh, God. I don't. A volunteer's tribute. To come?
They just got to go talk.
Oh, TJ's going to talk, too.
You think a part of it is because Brandon lives so far?
No.
All right.
I'll explain it exactly.
Like, Brandon wanted to do the noon spot when he was like, we're going to do a new show
with Titus.
And I said, Pick Central's been doing it for three years. You can't just come in and take their spot. Fair. I was like, we're going to do a new show with Titus. And I said, Pick Central's been doing it for three years.
You can't just come in and take their spot.
Fair.
I was like, you have to prove it.
They have priority.
Right.
I said that.
And I defended them, which is the funniest part of this whole
Yak Barstow radio thing is I defended them,
and I said Pick Central deserves that.
They had been doing it every single day for three years.
Obviously, things changed.
They moved up an hour to where Brandon was going to go,
and I've told Brandon, just do it an hour earlier.
If you're better, go talk to him.
No, figure it out.
Figure it out, and then come back.
No, no, no.
Figure it out.
Go figure it out, and then come back.
What if they both go attend?
You're killing the vibes.
Go figure it out.
Go figure it out.
Go figure it out.
Get some pizza.
Go figure it out. Go figure it out. Go figure it out. Go figure it out.
Go figure it out. Go talk to him.
He's fine. You've made so much progress,
Rico. Go talk to him.
Go talk to him. No. Go right now.
Rico.
Do it on air. Do it on air.
Tell you right now, if you don't go
talk to him, you're off the show. Come on.
Go talk to him. Just talk
like men.
We'll go at 10. That's in him. Just talk like men. They both go at 10.
We'll go at 10.
That's in 30 minutes.
Close the door.
Close the door.
No, it's not over at 10.
And I told Brandon.
This is a good-ass episode.
When everything changed, I said.
I'm not taking any heat this episode.
I said.
I told Brandon.
Use your key.
It sucks that they changed.
Pick Central changed.
Obviously, everything got thrown up in the air.
But I told Brandon, just go an hour
earlier. Do spy cam on them.
I said, go an hour earlier and prove
that if you have bigger numbers, then you get
to choose. That seems fair.
Right? That seems fair. That seems
very, like, democratic. If the numbers
are bigger in six months. Six months is very generous.
Like a meritocracy. Right. Are you a democrat?
If you have bigger numbers in six months,
then you can choose what time slot you want.
But until then, they have been doing it for three years.
Also, that morning slot in radio is coveted.
It is.
And I do actually think that in a weird way,
Brandon's commute, he should want to be in earlier
because he beat it.
But yeah, I don't know.
But if everybody's cool,
everybody on Pick Central, everybody with
Brandon and Titus are cool at going at
the same time, then fuck it.
Am I crazy to say?
That does hurt all of us. Right, that's the thing.
The thing I don't understand about YouTube, and this goes
back to the Yak Bars Radio thing,
is I understand people watching on replay. I love
everyone who watches on replay.
The people that we like are the ones watching on replay. I love everyone who watches on replay. Not the people that we like who watch it on live.
Does live numbers matter for advertisers?
That's my only question,
because I want to make money for the company
to keep everyone's job.
So you're only in this for money?
Yes.
100%.
100% right now I am.
To keep everyone's job, yes.
So does live viewers matter?
If live viewers matter, don't run concurrently.
If it's fucking 500 viewers, that's important, yes. So does live viewers matter? If live viewers matter, don't run concurrently.
If it's fucking 500 viewers, that's important.
Right.
That was my whole point from the Barstool Radio Yak thing.
It's like a dog.
If live viewers matter, let's do the best to make every show have the most live viewers so they can sell the most money and we can all keep our jobs.
Can I bring up maybe a a very obvious point
like they're both they both should be at work at those times right 10 and 11 a.m well no it's
nine and oh it's 9 a.m it would be 9 a.m for brandon and titus
so like all right that's a little bit but. But, like, that's not crazy.
That's not like, hey, come in at 6 a.m.
No, it's not.
Right.
And with Brandon's commute, that probably is better. That's what I was trying to say.
That's what I was trying to say to him.
Either way, this is the original Yak.
I love you boys.
Evening, Yak.
I love you boys.
Shout out, Jared.
Seven years?
Six years?
Six years in January.
Good win.
Fucking. Good win. Fucking.
Good win.
What a show.
Survived all the COVID.
The show is awesome, dude.
I cannot say how much I love and value this show.
I think that it's so fucking funny.
I think the perspective of the show is so funny,
and I just know it's going to be good for a long time.
I feel like you said this a long time ago.
You were like, you'll look at the Yak cast sometime and be like,
damn, look how fucking deep that cast was.
Look at all the people.
And you can already say that.
Karabas, million-dollar man.
Fucking Caleb, megastar.
Coley, yeah.
Coley, megastar.
Colby, megastar. it's just so many people who have
come through the show it's just been so fucking fun to be on the show it's such a funny and
desirable show to do get away rico give us a second can you close the door can you get we're
having a moment we're having a moment can you close the door we We're having a moment, though. Can you close the door?
So I was planning on saying this anyway when we start full-time in Chicago,
but, like, people were like, you can't replace Roan and Sass.
I know I can.
Like, Roan, I know I can't replace you.
That's why you always have a spot on the act.
Like, it's a seat empty.
I might fucking light a flame like JFK. The eternal flame. Yeah, just be like, that's Roan's seat empty it's like j i might i might fucking light a flame like jfk yeah the eternal flame yeah just be like that's ron's seat have a flickering it's like obviously
like someday i'm like oh maybe he'll come like you know come back for whatever but it's also
that every year there it's your seat but that's what's part of the show that's good is like uh
it's bigger it's like give us a moment give us a moment rico we're doing old school yak
yeah no but just give us a moment just give us a moment grab a beer give us a moment. Give us a moment, Rico. We're doing old school Yak. Yeah, no, but just give us a moment.
Just give us a moment.
Grab a beer.
Give us a moment.
But it's like, to me, the Yak's like SportsCenter, where it's like, it's good.
It's good because of what the show is, not because of who's on it.
You know what I mean?
There's like so many good hosts of SportsCenter.
There's so many ways to make the Yak awesome.
The best moment I had in Yak history
was probably a year or so into the YouTube,
and I was traveling for something,
and I was like, no, the show's good.
It's good with whoever's on it.
It's the best feeling to be like,
I don't have to be on it.
It's good.
There's so many fucking funny people
that it just rides along,
and that's the beauty of the Yak. I think that's the ethos of it. It's like
collecting funny people that you want to talk with
for a long time. Right. It's like the more people
that you can get interesting ideas from.
Rico, come on back in here, brother.
Someday I hope I'm not on the act
and it's just funny fucking people. I will admit
when the cast grew to
we have ten people
now. Yeah, no, it was stupid. It's stupid. It's actually the dumbest way to run a now. Yeah, no, it was stupid.
It was like,
what are we doing?
Yeah, no, it's the dumbest way
to run a show.
It turned out to be brilliant
because everyone
can, everyone is their own person.
Doesn't miss a beat.
No, I, believe me,
I've, it's the dumbest idea ever
to be like, let's do a show
with seven people having a mic.
Right.
Like, you had Kate, you add
fucking KB, Nick,
Brandon, like, all these, Sass,
all these people, you add them, and it's like,
it just keeps rolling along.
It's a train that just keeps on coming.
It's the funnest, it's the funnest
way, that's why I can call my job fake.
What are you digging for, Sass?
You sunglasses.
I feel like Rico and Brandon figured nothing out.
Nothing.
You're talking about a most calm conversation like we've ever had?
I could hear you from here with the door closed.
They were screaming at each other.
Yeah.
Should we play Salvo?
Yes.
All right, let's play Salvo.
No, no, no.
Kate will help.
I think it's everybody versus Brandon and Rico are on the same team.
Just Brandon and Rico.
Yes, I love that.
Hey, I had to step out for a second.
How's the vibe?
Hey, we need a bowl.
It's good.
We need a bowl, paper, and pens.
Brandon and Rico will be on the same team,
and everyone else will be versus them.
Salad bowl.
You've got to forget it. No, no, no. What if we don't play the first round? We just write the things? And then Rico will be on the same team, and everyone else will be versus them. Salad Bowl.
You've got to forget it.
No, no, no.
What if we don't play the first round?
We just write the things?
Just these two play.
Okay, yeah, and one of them is captain for us, and one of them is captain for you.
Wait, I just kind of want to see one-on-one.
No, I want a team effort.
You guys have to get to how many total points?
You want to be with him?
Watch out for the lightning strike.
They just have to take the ball and pick them together?
Let's just do 4v4 and they have to be on the same team.
You guys are on the same team.
Yeah.
The toughest part of this is I am actively trying to get better.
All right, let's find some paper.
Half and half. Half and half.
Just cut the room in half
I wedged in between this
we're gonna
Nick how'd you go get an apple
I can't have that
me at 10am you at 11
I can't believe that's your snack now
this is my dinner
it is crazy Kate is the fucking
hottest dude of all of us what are you talking about
she can't jackhammer a pussy like me dude
no dude wait kate you want to hear you want to hear what she just said crazy shit about you
i said it's crazy that kate is the hottest dude of all of us what I don't know if that's a good thing. What? I've been talking about dude for months.
Hey, what the fuck?
Weird man bun.
I would say.
I mean, honestly.
What the fuck are you talking about, dude?
Kate's a woman.
Well, yeah, but Kate's going with the beef look.
And so you're saying as a beef, she's better looking than all of us.
Yes.
Okay, I'm with that, but that's just such an insane statement to make.
It's rules for me.
Hey, did they call you the B
before you met that guy?
Not going to be a single comment
about me.
Depends.
I've been on my best behavior.
You guys are all
freaking a fool.
It's all good.
It's all good.
Let's go.
I'm going to miss the anxiety
text from Sass in the morning,
but he's going to wake up tomorrow
just like,
yawn,
have a cartoon bird
land on his finger. Is that actual? A pie off the window sill. He's going to wake up tomorrow just like yawn, have a cartoon bird land on his finger.
Is that actual? A pie off the
windowsill. He's going to float and
follow the scent. I'm handing
a piece of paper to everyone, right?
What a beautiful morning.
We're going to be alive.
It's a piece of paper to everybody and we
we all
put four ideas into the piece of paper.
Five. Five.
Five each.
Five.
Five each.
And we guess what's being, what's what.
All right, so there's three rounds of salad bowl.
Okay.
First round, your team, so it's you, Kate, Nick, Rico.
Okay.
Okay.
First round is that you pick up the clue.
You can explain the clue without saying the name of the clue.
Any of the words in the clue.
Got it.
Like $20,000 pyramid.
Right.
Second round, you put all of the clues back in, so it's the same clues in each round.
Second round is charades.
Okay.
Third round, you get to say one word, and they have to guess the clue.
But it's a memory game as much as it is
a, uh, like,
it's a memory game.
Got it?
And.
What are the teams?
People are going to roast you for that question.
There's four of us.
Here we go. Good. Salad ball.
So wait, it's...
Okay, so...
I want to go against my case race team Bowl. So wait. It's, okay, so. Well, have K on your team.
I want to go against my K's race team.
Oh, yeah, he's right.
No, no, no.
Because you threw us under the bus saying we were all pussies.
Can I get a beer, Brandon?
Phrases have to be, you could say phrases or words.
Now, Dan, let me ask you a question.
If you guess a phrase, it has to be exactly the phrase.
Dan, is this salad bowl stationary or it moves around?
Because if you start moving it around.
No, it moves around.
You're fucking crazy.
Yeah, no, it moves around. You're you start moving it around, you're fucking crazy. You know, it moves around.
You're going to throw a hissy fit.
Use one piece of paper.
Write more than one thing on one piece of paper.
I didn't get what you're saying.
I got what you're saying now.
My dad posted an update, by the way.
Oh, what's your dad doing?
He got a root beer for dinner.
Oh, my God.
He's drinking a root beer?
Yeah, five guys and a root beer for dinner.
Five things. It can be like
person, place, thing, anything.
He can't even make sense in his tweet. Perfect end to a perfect.
He's loopy.
He's
zooted off the root beer, dude.
Am I writing something? Because I thought me and
Rico were. Everyone's writing
down five things. Five things.
Oh, it's red.
I'm sorry, Kate. Five what?
Person, place, thing, anything.
It could be a noun, a phrase.
And use the piece of paper, like write more than one thing on it and then tear it up.
You fold the piece of paper and put it in the salad bowl. This is good yak
But the magic is we can cut this out
Or a little fast forward
Rip up these pieces
Yeah
Yeah just rip like tear
Then write what you want to write, and then
tear it, and it's going to fold and go into a little cup.
Enrico, don't get
upset if you have to keep your paper, because it'll be moving
soon. Where's my beer?
You didn't ask for one
I asked for one
Moments ago
That was
That was
Minutes ago
I gave you one
You're gonna get written down
What are you gonna write down?
I already wrote down
Something nasty about you
I'm doing secrets Are you guys not doing secrets on yours? What? What are you going to write down? I already wrote down something nasty about you.
I'm doing secrets.
Are you guys not doing secrets on yours?
What?
What are we doing?
A little bit.
Like fold them up?
I'm writing down secrets.
Secrets?
What do you mean?
I'm kidding.
That's the second best happy hour I've been to with secrets.
Ocean City, Maryland.
My favorite.
I love secrets.
Unbelievable.
Dewey Beach was my favorite. They did like a dirty dance contest at the bachelor party I was at. It City, Maryland. My favorite. I love Secrets. Unbelievable. Dewey Beach was my favorite.
They did like a dirty dance contest at the bachelor party I was at. It was fucking nuts.
And remember what you're
writing down because that's going to be a clue.
Who is? Do we have a bowl? Yeah, I have a bowl right here.
We're tearing it up?
No, no, you fold them.
Don't fold them.
It's right fucking there.
Brandon, beer, now!
It's right there. Brandon Beer Now It's right there
Anger
Here starts the anger
Next thing you know
Somebody gets shoved
I need one more
I don't know what to do
Start up the anger
Wait
Wait
Rip those
Rip them so they're smaller Everyone's doing full sheets No No one's doing full sheets the anger.
Sass,
kill that can, please.
He doesn't have FNs on.
Sass, take the can off.
What? Oh, okay. Take the can off.
I just have two.
Okay.
We're kind of stuck to each other.
Rico, can I talk to you real quick?
Oh, gosh.
I think it's entertaining, you guys, going back and forth,
but as friends of both of you guys,
I have the last thing to say.
You guys need to figure this shit the fuck out.
I have the last thing to say.
You and I ruining the case race vibes will be a lot worse than anything.
No, no, no. The vibes our career. The vibes are fine.
The vibes are fine. I don't care.
We're going to pick it up. The case race is like four hours long.
You and I ruining
that would be worse than anything we've ever done.
I avoided that conversation like the fucking
plague. I know.
This is going to be awesome.
This is going to be
the best case race yet.
One more.
For me.
This is going to be
the first one
where I'm not the main character.
I know.
Congratulations.
You're fucked.
You don't even know
what's about to hit you.
There's like two hours
left in the case race.
Brandon Sass,
you've done four in a row.
We can rewrite the whole history.
Five.
All right, come on.
Okay, I'm trying my best.
Why are you putting it up against my fucking skin?
Come on, baby.
I don't think we're drinking or not.
No, we're not.
Come on, baby.
We're not.
All right.
Good job.
I'm continuing to drink.
I'm on beer eight.
How many you want?
Four or five?
Four or five.
Brandon, dude, you genuinely don't know how many views this gets
and how many people will hate you.
I think our first two case races have over 700,000 views on YouTube.
I know.
No, it'll ruin your life.
The premiere wasn't over, and Sass has already Googled how to tie a noose three times.
I had the fucking lead in my mouth. Casey Anthony Googled how to make chlor noose three times. I had the fucking lead in my mouth.
Casey Anthony Googled how to make chloroform fucking 36 times.
All right, Kate, you're going to go first.
He was furious as hell.
Kate's going to go first, then Che, then Rico, then Roan, then Nick, then me, then Brandon, then Seth.
If you guys want to reset, just sit on the floor and say, one moment doesn't define you, but you can define your purpose.
Here we go.
Do I need the bowl? tiffany gomez all right yeah can we connor can you find another bag or bowl
that we can put the the ones we get right in all right so tj you got the the timer you remember
how to do this using words for this one words but you can't use the word? You remember how to do this? I'm using words for this one.
Words, but you can't use the word that it is. How does this work?
It's got to be the phrase correct.
I'm talking to you three, right?
Yep.
You wrote shit down?
You do?
What if you get your own?
That's okay.
That's good.
Oh, I thought it was like Chris Crane.
It's a memory game, too.
So all the clues go back in the bowl after round one.
Round two.
Really? And you'll learn.
That's why the charades is easier because you know
what was set. We use sticky paper
so they're all stuck to each other. I rip my stickiness
off. Okay.
Tell me when. When?
Let me get the timer. Hold on. Oh, never mind. Never mind.
Ready? No.
I can't open it. Okay, ready? No.
Go. He's not ready. He's not ready. Oh, sorry. it. Okay, ready? No. Go.
He's not ready.
He's not ready.
He's not ready.
Oh, sorry.
He'll probably start on you talking.
Go.
Wait, are we good?
Yeah.
Oh.
Him?
Rico throwing a can.
Throwing a?
Throwing a high noon.
Yes.
Okay.
I couldn't say that legally.
One on the floor.
I take one of these.
Wait, talk in the mic. A balloon. I take one of these. Wait, talk in the mic.
A balloon. I take one of these and I...
Popping a balloon with your thighs.
Yes.
Sick.
There's two.
Shit.
Good work, team.
Him.
Brandon.
These.
Love handles.
Brandon's love handles.
All Knicks.
Sorry.
I haven't been one of mine yet.
What Stephen Chay tells you if you need to...
Oh!
Oh, no.
Put the winners in there, Kate.
Film review.
If you need to do better, you need to...
Pipe your pussy up.
Pipe your pussy up.
Film review.
You guys are pussies.
You're not smart.
You're dumb.
You're a...
Slow.
Slow bus.
You're like the rain man.
You're autistic.
No.
Dennis.
Or savant.
Dustin.
Three.
Idiot savant.
Yes.
One.
That's time.
Okay.
Idiot savant.
What'd they get?
It's five, right?
Or six?
Count it, Connor.
There you go.
No, they got like five.
No, no, no.
Now it's Chaser.
Well, you got at least five.
Five.
Five.
All right, so it's Chaser.
Five for the first team.
So four max was wrong. I do the remaining, right?'s Chaser. Well, you got at least five. Five. Five. All right, so it's Chaser. Five for the first team. So four max was wrong.
I do the remaining, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, I do Keith's bowl, right?
You still need that bowl to put the empty in.
The winners.
Here, let's use that.
This bowl's too heavy.
Put all that in there.
In that Chick-fil-A box.
Brandon will feel more comfortable.
Yeah, I would.
Oh.
Keep those in there, Connor.
Why is it... Alright, let's go.
Lock in, lock in, lock in.
This is their team now. Remember, you can pass.
When did you become their team? If you don't
like one, you can put it back in. Four and four.
You failed us as the leader of the drinking team.
No, he did the best on the team. Alright, here we go.
He should have done the best. Tell us when.
Booth, ready?
They'll start when you start. I already forgot all the best. Tell us when. Booth, ready? Yes. They'll start when you start.
I already forgot all the ones.
Same.
They did.
They look like a beanstalker of some sort.
Go.
Did you just say go to yourself?
Hitler.
First name?
Kate.
Oh, up.
If you're going up to a person, a person, if you're going up to 242nd Street, you're going up to a person.
Led Zeppelin.
If you're going up to 242nd Street, you're going.
Uptown.
Kate Uptown, girl.
Kate Uptown.
Kate Upton.
Yes.
Kate Upton.
Nice.
That was terrible.
I would have just said fat titties.
Titties.
Chipotle.
Chipotle.
Suckable fucking titties. Your Chipotle order if you don't want to eat the wrap.
So fritos.
Readable.
Readable. Nice. Veggie weirdos. Two.'t want to eat the wrap. So fritos. Ritobol. Ritobol. Nice.
Veggie weirdos. Two.
Veggie weirdos. I don't care about that ever.
Someone like Brandon
would eat this. You bake it in the oven.
Pray on. Baked potato. Son of an
alcoholic. It sounds like a dessert
but it's a dinner. Selfish. We got them
in Chicago. Bullheaded.
Australia. Go to the next one. Australian dish. Go to the next one. Go to the in Chicago. Full-headed. Australia.
Go to the next one.
Go to the next one.
Go to the next one.
Go to the next one.
Go to the next one.
Illiterate.
Put it back in there.
Go to the next one.
Hick.
We just talked about you hate it.
Time.
Fuck.
Jesus.
Time, time, time.
He sucks.
Put it back in.
Put that one back in.
You stink like shit.
You got two?
You got three.
That's fine.
Three?
You got two. You got two. How's fine. Three? You got two.
You got two.
How many are in there, Steven?
Two.
No, no.
They got that score up top.
Okay, good.
Five to two.
You, TJ.
So now it's on Rico.
All right, team.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go.
You can't say any words on the cards.
No words on the cards.
Steven, no offense.
That was fucking terrible.
All right.
Only if I get it right.
If you get it wrong, throw it back.
No, no, no, no, no.
If we say pass, throw it back.
Genuinely appalling.
She said fat titties, White Sox Dave thinks she's a five.
Fat daddy titties.
White Sox Dave thinks she's a five?
Yeah.
She is, brother.
She's a three at max.
Yeah.
Imagine someone disagreeing with you.
Pay me to fuck that bitch.
Imagine someone disagreeing with you.
How much for you to fuck Kate Upton?
Crazy.
Stop, Rico. I didn't say a fucking word. Oh, but you're doing it. At least 100 words. You're doing it. Imagine someone disagreeing with you How much Stop Rico
I didn't say a fucking word
You're doing it
Alright ready
3, 2, let's go
Put it back if you don't want it
Put it back if you don't want it
Okay
Weirdo
Old here
Shaped weird
He used to do a podcast with Brandon.
Chris Clemmer.
It's midsection.
Chris Clemmer's waist.
Chris Clemmer's abdomen.
Waist.
What's this?
Chris Clemmer's waist.
Oh, Sass is dressed up like him.
Bob Dylan.
Did you write Bob Dylan?
Five.
What we ordered Regular
Lovely blank blank
Just for me
Cheese pizza
We didn't get any cheese pizza
Oh shit
One more
One more
One more than blank three
But one less than blank
Five
Four Fourteen Five One less than blank three, but one less than blank five. Four.
24?
Nah, it's a hard one.
Five.
Four.
I want you dumbasses to get that.
Three, two, time.
What?
We're up?
Time's up.
Time's up.
All right, boys.
Okay.
Time's up, dumbasses.
All right, let's get it.
I want to be a hero. Locked it Be a hero
Locked
Be a hero brother
Locked in
Alright
Locked in
You here brother
I'm here
Swallow
Swallow
I'm gonna wait
Till Stephen Chay follows
No no no
I just don't
I want you swallowed
Take your time
Swallow
Swallow
Hey swallow
Swallow
Swallow
Swallow
I don't want you To be thinking about anything besides quests.
Can we gather up the phones?
I mean, I'm seeing a lot of phone action.
Well, we're over here.
We're not even doing anything.
I know.
We're texting each other.
It's not our turn.
Here we go.
Fans, I'm sorry about this.
This guy is out of control.
Sass, let's put out a big number.
Five, four, three, two, one.
This.
Count down.
Five, four.
Cerveza.
The guy in the back right there.
Da.
Connor.
This part.
Connor's armpits.
Connor's armpits.
What's his last name?
Connor Griffin's armpits.
Yes.
Nice.
Love it.
Love it.
Love it.
The place where Brandon lives? Mississippi.
What's the town near him?
What's the closest town in that state?
Rockford. No, the other one.
Yes, what he said.
Thank you.
Why are you helping?
It was my clue.
The guy that he brought in
was better.
Sheboygan Maresh was the card?
No, two different.
Oh.
One of the big five, not a rhinoceros, but.
Elfin's penis.
But a big.
Elfin's big dick.
Yes, yes.
Did you write that?
Yeah.
Lucky guess.
The guy, this guy.
Hitler.
Oh, whoa. Hey-oh. That was me I wrote a Hitler one too
Do it just so people have to do the salute
I had a Hitler one as well
We're tied
Nick this is you
I actually had a Hitler one
Great work Ro
Salbo always put Hitler Oh yeah you, Nick. Cowboys, we're back. I actually had a Hitler one. Great work, Rome.
Hold on.
Salvo, I'll always put Hitler.
Oh, yeah.
I put, I can't say it, but I... Then you have to dance around it.
And once you hit...
Yeah.
So that way, you went straight to straight.
Which we'll be able to use once it's time.
Yes.
I had a good one, though.
You'll like this one. You'll like this one.
You'll like this one.
Oh, no, no, no.
Yes.
The bird that goes
cluck, cluck.
And it's like
the
cuckoo clock.
Cauldron.
And it's like an apple
fourth of July.
Chicken pot pie.
Oh.
Chicken pot pie.
Him.
Brandon.
And his fat titties.
Brandon Walker's titties.
Brandon Walker's breasts. They don't belong to a female. Brandon Walker's titties Brandon Walker's breasts
They don't belong to a female
Brandon Walker's man tits
Another name for tits
Brandon Walker's man boobs
Yep
Brandon Walker's man boobs
This is when a girl brings a sparkler with a
Bottle service
Thank you
Five
That's his line from the other
I'm the Joker baby
Three Oh man they're hot Two Thank you. All right. Five. That's his line from the other. I'm the Joker, baby.
Oh, man.
They're hot.
Two.
So the guy to my right is ammunition that he ate. High noon.
Big T.
Rico's high noon.
You're allowed to say that?
Oh, that's not what it was.
You cannot say that.
What is it?
What is it?
What is it exactly?
Oh, shut up.
Rico's high noon can.
Go.
Rico throwing a high noon.
Oh, that's different.
That's way different.
It's different.
Our producer's father.
Tim Hitchings.
Tim Hitchings.
Root beer.
Time, time, time, time.
Tim Hitchings.
Back in.
Something's amiss with Roan speaking over every word I say.
I don't know if it's against the rules, but chat, I want him lampooned.
Get him, chat.
You guys, you guys watched our first round.
You don't want to be on the bad side of clicky.
How could you do that to precious Nick?
I'm precious.
Chat, for the record, I didn't care.
Don't be afraid to show off here, big cat.
Don't be afraid to let him know.
I'm mixing it up.
I'm going to suspend myself. First two guesses.
Hold on. First two guesses.
At least four guesses. Shut up. Hold on. First two guesses. All right.
At least four guesses.
Four guesses.
Ready, set, go.
Opposite of skinny.
Fat.
Opposite of pencil.
Pen.
Fat pen?
Fat pen.
That's not the opposite of pencil.
What do you think is?
Steven, you're great at it.
It doesn't write?
No pencil.
No, you're great at it.
Steven's great at it.
Football.
No. Pussy. Yes. Why don't you just at it. Steven's great at it. Football. No.
Pussy.
Yes.
Why didn't you say it? He said football first.
Similar to what I just said, but it's way back in time.
Asshole.
No.
It's sweaty.
What would you guess?
No, no.
The very-
We can skip it?
Yeah.
Eating pussy.
Finger blast.
This will never happen. Eating pussy. Kelly Ke. This will never happen.
Eating pussy.
Kelly Keegs.
Woman president.
Elected woman president.
Other word for woman.
Female president.
Yes.
That's a man of honor.
All stuck together.
Russell Wilson plays for this team.
Denver Broncos.
Good one. Four,cos. Denver Broncos. Good one.
Four, three.
Time's up.
We're eating it.
Pizza.
This will never happen is the clue for that.
That is so funny.
That's unreal.
What's this will never happen?
Women president.
Female president.
Whoops.
I slipped. Brandon. Female president. Whoops. I slipped.
Brandon.
Not on your watch.
So what score right now?
I want to just say to my daughter, if you're watching this, I was lying.
Dude, I would sprint to the polls.
You could be president, baby.
You got this.
She's running for president 30 years from now and this clip gets played on CNN.
Oh, your father said this will never happen.
He's dressed like baby Shrek.
Nah, in 30 years from now,
they'll still be talking about Brady versus Rico.
Yeah.
Yeah, we can do whatever we want.
I came into this very positive.
All right, here we go.
Can you imagine the fucking smear campaign
if your daughter ever ran for president?
Like the clips? No, you. Have you thought about that go. Can you imagine the fucking smear campaign if your daughter ever ran for president? Like the clips?
No, you.
Have you thought about that, Big Cat?
What?
The smear campaigns?
Just the clips
that they would post.
Oh, yeah.
No, I would never.
Yeah.
That's how you keep it light.
Yeah.
Fuck being president.
Although I would love
if Dave ran for president
because I would like to do
a couple stump speeches for him.
Mm-hmm.
I'd like to do a smear campaign.
Brandon, you used to do that for the CEO of Coca-Cola, right?
Well, it was close.
It was close.
Pepsi?
Known as Atlanta-based corporation.
Chick-fil-A?
No.
CEO.
Popeyes.
I would love that to be a dream job.
Popeyes is great.
Or C-Cola.
Wild now?
All right, we got a clock.
He was writing his Nick Cannon speeches.
Dr. Pepper. All right, we got a clock. He was writing his Nick Cannon speeches. Dr. Pepper.
All right, it's on me.
Okay, it is on me.
This guy right here, his testicles.
Describe them.
Long balls.
Sass is long balls.
Pop balls.
Understandable, brother.
Unfold the paper, Brandon.
Unfold the paper.
All right.
The sport that Nolan Ryan plays. Baseball. And this thing down here. paper, Brandon. Unfold the paper. Alright.
The sport that Nolan Ryan plays. Baseball.
And this thing down here.
Baseball ass.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was it?
What was it? Baseball ass. That's what it was?
Yes. How would you know?
Baseball ass.
He's going to do this in a couple months. Give birth.
Destroy her body
An erection at a video game place
Getting hard at an arcade
Remember these
CJ's dad's where he keeps his pee
Tim Hitchens bladder
Sucks
Way back in the day
The initial
Caveman eating pussy for the first time.
That was the one I was trying to get.
Time.
Time.
Time.
You have to be a first.
That was good.
That was good.
So, Sass, you need to get 25 answers right in this round.
All right, Sass.
How many we got left in there?
Pass me, brother.
Pass your bullet.
I don't think there's enough answers left to catch us.
Pass me, brother.
No, no.
It's three rounds.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Hey, Rico, we're winning.
By a lot. Good for us, right?
Yeah, but it's meth. Best pound. Somebody from
Mississippi can't do that shit.
Brandon, what does that feel like?
Here we go.
Let's talk in.
Unless it's...
Ready? Yes.
What your answer was
but him.
Good-ass hint, brother.
Proud of you.
Brandon eating pussy.
You're crushed.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Brandon.
Brandon Hitler.
Hitler Walker.
Talk more.
Almost got it.
Brandon Hitler.
Brandon Hitler.
Brandon.
Reverse.
Reverse.
Eat off Brandon.
Eat off Brandon. Eat off Walker. No. It sounds like the cha-cha slide right now. Hitler Brandon. Hitler. Brandon. Hitler. Brandon. Reverse. Reverse. Adolf Brandon. Adolf Brandon.
Adolf Walker.
No.
It sounds like the cha-cha slide right now.
Hitler Brandon.
Hitler Brandon.
Hitler Walker.
Hitler Brandon.
Okay.
Not far from reality.
What?
Whoa.
Get off your glasses, dude.
What the fuck?
Marriage.
Co-workers.
Two co-workers.
Big scandal.
Rian, uh,
Marty.
The blank. What's happening?
Marriage, or
wedding, or marriage of
the divorce agent.
With it sassy.
Rian, Marty's wedding.
Rian, Marty.
That didn't happen yet. Sounds like
a certain show.
What the fuck is this?
Luckily, your time's up.
Time's up.
He looked at female president.
I've got terrible choices.
Who's the bottom?
Let us down.
We move on.
They're not going to get these.
We move on to the next one.
Let's be honest.
You let us down.
How did you guys not get Hitler Brandon?
We said every word.
That took 27 seconds.
You were just throwing wild charades the entire time.
I was doing the Hitler wave, and then I was pointing to Brandon.
It goes back to Kate.
It goes back to Kate.
It goes back to Kate.
No, no, no.
You use those.
No way Kate will get these.
There's no way.
You know I shoot it straight?
You're fucking stupid, dude.
Everybody agrees. Here we go, Kate. God, Brandon and Rico argued. fucking stupid, dude. Everybody agrees.
Here we go, Kate.
Thank God Brandon Rico argues.
Come on, Kate.
So I just have to get these two, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
She won't get any.
Remember they had the pride shirts here that said it's not just a-
Not just a gay thing.
Phase.
That's the word.
Four.
Phase four, yes.
Fucking A.
I read that one.
And then-
Female president. Good luck reading that one past And then Female president
Good luck reading that one
Madam pussy
What?
She's pregnant
She can't get it
If I'm sometimes right
I'm
Wrong
Woman
For the blank part
Mostly right
Yes
Okay
That's the word
Mostly
Mostly right wing
Throwing balls
Hitting things Mostly right Batting. Okay, that's the word. Mostly. Mostly right wing. Throwing balls, hitting things.
Mostly right batting practice.
Yes, mostly sports.
With Brandon and Mark Titus.
And then Barstool.
What's that whisper?
What was the whisper?
They ain't getting it.
They ain't getting it.
This is mostly sports with Brandon Walker that hasn't debuted yet.
And it's a TV.
That's a blank.
That hasn't debuted yet.
Tonight.
I think we got a rope. That hasn't debuted yet. Tonight. I think I wrote that.
Mostly Brandon Walker's show.
Mostly sports show that hasn't debuted yet.
That is one of the words. Hasn't premiered yet. No, no, no. Time's up.
Time's up. Time's up. Did you write it
and you still wouldn't say it? Do you know what it
is, Seth? Oh my god. No, but now we know.
Yeah, but we have
the entire 60 seconds for one
No, no, no. Yeah, that's a good thing.
No, it's not because we got a clean slate for all those cards.
All right, go ahead.
Go.
What the hell is your problem?
All right.
Ready?
Yep.
Try to describe it correctly.
I assumed one of you guys wrote this,
considering how long it took them to get it.
I think Rico wrote it.
I think you're underestimating one man in this room. I totally assumed you guys wrote this and sharing how long it took time to get it. I think Rico wrote it. I think you're underestimating
one man in this room. I
totally assumed you guys wrote this. Why didn't you
say the right answer if you wrote it? Guys, guys, guys.
I'm not even on this team, but focus the
fuck up. Yes, yes. Alright,
there's one clue. Okay, alright, here we go.
Time. Go ahead, go. Hold on.
You're fine, you're fine, Steven.
You're fine. You're fine.
Restart, restart. You're fine, you're fine. Go. Alright're fine. You're fine. You're fine. Restart.
Restart.
You're fine.
You're fine.
Go.
All right.
His show, the first two words of it.
Did you just say show?
Morning Sunshine.
Task.
Brandon Walker Show.
Brandon Walker.
Morning Sunshine.
Wrestling.
I can't even remember. Oh, it's his new show.
Oh, no, no.
Rico wrote it.
I can't even read this. Recrochables. Oh, it's his new show. No, no, no. Rico wrote it. I'm not even reading this.
Recrochables?
Oh, it's his new show.
What's his name?
What was the Recrochables?
What was the Recrochables called?
Are you guys fucking around?
Double play.
No, I'm playing.
Double play.
It's like a...
Double play with Chris Clemmer.
It's like that card game.
It's like the card game.
No, I have Double Brat.
Backer Rat.
Backer Rat? No, no. Double play with Backer Rat and I ain't going to play in my head. Backerat. Backerat?
No, no.
We'll play with Backerat and Chris Crowe.
His show with Mark Titus.
Are you saying the words on the card?
Mark Titus and Blackjack.
Blackjack and Mark Titus playing.
No, Blackjack.
Backerat, poker.
Christ.
You're close.
You're close.
Why did you guys fuck that up so bad?
God damn it.
This is an ungettable clue.
All right.
Oh, fuck.
I got to get a tattoo on my kneecap.
Wait a minute.
All right.
Nick's out for a second.
No, no.
He can tattoo.
All right.
It's Rico.
Give it back to Rico.
How did you guys not know this?
Give it back to Rico.
Guys, this is DMO.
One of these words is not in the dictionary.
Hey.
Oh, give it back to him.
Should I go elbow or kneecap? One of the words is not in the dictionary. Hey. Oh, give it back to him. Should I go elbow or kneecap?
One of the words is not in the dictionary.
Kneecap.
Yeah?
Wow, he just said kneecap.
Kneecap.
Which one's more painful?
I really want to get tattooed very badly right now.
You are?
Okay.
I'm not going to.
I want to.
What the hell, Nick?
Nick, those are your tattoos, bro.
We knew he was going cocked out.
That's what your legs look like?
All right, here we go.
Rico.
All right, ready?
Yeah.
All right.
Nick, keep guessing.
Yeah.
All right.
Are we going?
Do you need a chair or something?
Yeah, do you want me to move?
Wait, focus up, Kate.
Focus up, Kate.
Who's going first?
Who's going second?
Jack, Clemmer, you want some pizza?
Somebody else doing it?
You want pizza?
No.
Hey, focus up, gang. Focus up. All right, Rico, give it to me. Ibs, you want some pizza? Somebody else doing it? You want pizza? No. Hey, focus up, gang.
Focus up.
All right, Rico.
Give it to me.
Ibs, you want some pizza?
Brandon's new show.
Mostly sports.
Right.
Okay.
Fourth word.
Where Mike Francesa made his bones.
Every day from 1 to 6.30.
Radio.
Thank you.
Mostly sports radio.
Broadway.
Debatable.
All right.
Hold on.
Broadway blank. Show. You know it. Just say it. Mostly sports radio. Broadway. Debatable. All right, hold on. Broadway blank.
Show.
You know it.
Just say it.
Mostly sports radio show.
Mostly sports radio show.
Debatable.
Okay.
I think it's the-
An hour before 12 o'clock.
11 a.m.
If I say I'm insistent, it must be-
It must be at 11 a.m.
11 a.m.
Mostly sports radio show.
11 a.m.
Okay, now this word's hard. 11 a.m. 11 a.m. Mostly sports radio. 11 a.m. Okay, now this is where it's hard.
The opposite, like you make your arrival on the scene.
Like if you were having a show.
What did you write?
Even I don't remember what I read like 10 times.
Like it's a debut?
Yeah, the opposite of that.
Finale.
Finale.
No, it's like if you were dressing, the opposite of dress.
Undress. Right. So opposite of dress. Undress.
Right.
So opposite of debut.
Undebut.
Right.
So the mostly sports undebuted radio show that must be at 11 a.m.
We got it.
They got it.
They got it.
They got it.
They got it.
They got it.
21 to 14.
Mostly sports radio show.
What is it?
Mostly sports undebuted radio show that must be at 11 a.m.
I thought undebuted was the word debate.
Mostly sports, radio show, undebuted that must be at 11 a.m.
Thank you for doing this.
Okay.
I have already Venmo'd you.
What's your Instagram?
It's on us.
You want some pizza?
Tattoos by D-Mo.
Tattoos by D-Mo.
All right.
It's second round.
Here we go.
And so what is this?
One word? Yeah, one word. No, it's second round. Here we go. And so what is this? One word?
No, charades.
Charades.
Keep an eye on my cock. Make sure it doesn't pop out.
Why? Take that part.
That slice.
Can I take a one minute piss break? Remember her?
One minute piss break.
Can you have someone do the time?
Yeah.
Take a try.
We can wait try We can wait
We can wait for
The elbow touch to the balloon
It's all falling apart
Okay
Remember when we had our
The three of us
It was great
It was our little thing
It was Lacosa Nostra
That was the best part of the show
The case race
Oh yeah we won
No but just the three of us talking
Wait is this from Ev's head?
It's good
No it's his bull? It's good.
No, it's his ballsack.
Mostly. On the ground.
What is it?
Mostly sports.
I won't pull that one.
I'm not even kidding.
I thought it said unibilled.
Fucking illiterate.
Your handwriting is horrendous.
You're illiterate.
The handwriting on your face is better than your handwriting.
You're going kneecap?
You guys are nuts.
We're waiting for Sass to come back.
You're going to have to get up when he comes back because we need him on our team.
I tackle Chris Klemmer.
I don't mind.
He's drinking angry orchards.
I think it would.
Especially with you and Rico.
He's getting scared.
Flammer, go out to the hall.
Flammer, go out to the hall.
I'm going to tackle you onto the couch.
You already tackled me once.
Let me tackle you onto the couch.
I'm done.
You fucking tackled somebody else.
Let me tackle you onto the couch.
Come on, Flammer.
Get the fuck out of here.
Come on, Flammer.
I'm going to fucking deal with you.
Flammer, one time.
No, you already tackled me once.
I'm going to prove the whole show.
Is this going to suck?
Hurt my tailbone. Let's get this close. All right, ready? Wait, guys. Is this going to suck?
All right, ready?
Wait, guys, am I crazy to say that?
Brandon's going to be top dog hater in the comments.
It's the combo between Rico and Brandon.
No, don't turn to fucking people.
I told you I didn't want to have that conversation. Dude, I think Sass is a dark horse.
You also kept the conversation going.
No, I didn't.
You made me go outside.
No, but then you started doing clues.
People are going to be pissed at you.
I did one clue.
I told you when it was going to happen, he was going to be a fucking baby.
People are going to be pissed at Sass for not embarrassing himself.
What the fuck, Sass?
I got dragged down by a fucking...
There was a joker.
Are you acting this out?
Is that what's happening?
Yeah, charades.
Charades.
Are you guys locked in on me?
Yes, I'm locked in.
I'm locked in.
Where's TJ?
TJ's coming back right now.
He's going to get the time.
Oh, wait.
Piss break.
Yeah.
I don't remember any of these.
TJ has the best makeup of all of us.
I don't remember any of these.
I guess Nick.
Can we do a sing-along?
Maybe get the vibes back.
Yeah, I agree.
I agree with that.
I got a celebrity guesser.
Can you put on magic?
Do you want to stop playing sourad Bowl and do a sing along
Let's do creep
Let's do Radiohead creep
Alright fine fuck it
Ready Rowan
We're gonna do creep Radiohead
Nah do this
Let's go Celeb Guesser
Is it Pippin
Yeah
Fuck yeah
I'm a weirdo
Alright you guys won salad bowl
We'll do
I'm a weirdo
We'll do
We'll do Celeb Guesser
In a sing-along.
You can't play that
dude.
All right, dude.
YouTube.
All right, dude.
Fuck YouTube.
That's where the show
lit.
Yeah, but there are
restrictions.
You should be able
to do what you want.
We're ditching salad bowl
for a sing-along.
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song?
What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? What song? It's a song.
I'm a creep.
Oh, it's so long.
Throwing creep.
Throwing creep.
Let's do creep.
And we'll do Celebrity Guest.
I'm a weirdo.
As we go along our way.
Nick, how do you feel about the game?
I'm actually kind of nervous.
I can feel that.
Yeah. Does it hurt? Wait, so. I'm actually kind of nervous I can feel that does it hurt weirdo
where the hell are you going
what the fuck
now you hold that
watch Nick get tatted
one time
I want to play celebrity guesser
what is that
I don't belong
play celebrity guesser so your mind's not on...
I don't belong here.
Really? Yeah.
Is that all it was?
Yeah.
Just a straight up square.
Can I see your certifications?
Oh, he's the best. Look at what he's done.
He's the best.
You got one?
Damn, dude.
Can we crank that up to the volume?
Because I can barely even hear that bitch.
Here we go.
You know, Rich, got one?
Who got a tiny one?
How tiny? makes me cry.
How tiny?
Let me see.
I'm not like a flower.
I'm a saran wrap.
Tiny.
Beautiful world.
That's your first.
I wish I was special.
We do Billy Joel.
You're so fucking special.
I'm a creep.
I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.
Nick, throw those cans on.
You want to hear this.
It'll calm you down.
Yeah.
I want to have control.
Sing it, Nick.
I want a perfect body. Tattooed karaoke would be an amazing show.
I want you to know
The whole room's a garbage bag.
You can throw literally anything anywhere.
When I'm not around
Hey.
You're So fucking special.
I wish I was special.
But I'm a creep.
I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.
Oh, she's running out the door.
She's running Doesn't have to be a perfect square. It's in your head. Go. Just low energy. Sweet child of mine. Stat.
We need to bring the group back.
You got hella heads in here now, too.
I feel like I'm putting on a fucking show.
Sweet child of mine.
All-Star?
Believer.
No, it's Believer.
Sweet child of mine ASAP.
Oh, no, no.
All-Star?
That's Shrek, right?
Believer?
All-Star.
All-Star.
All-Star's good.
Bread and beer me
I can't
I know whatever works
Jared's feud with
Whatever works
Nick's
Hilarious
Oh wait Nick is fucking hoarding the
The hell am I doing here
Is that cooler
No there's nothing here
I don't belong here
We actually do have three beers here
We doing Believer or All Star
All Star
Is that cold Give me a karaoke song right now I'm gonna sing We don't believe her or All-Star? All-Star.
Is that cold?
Give me a karaoke song right now.
I'm going to sing.
Give me a cold one.
What do you want to sing?
Sweet Child of Mine.
These melons are Greg.
Give me a cold one.
Sweet Child of Mine.
What do we got, brother?
You don't have one in the cooler?
No.
It's empty.
Put this one in the cooler.
The cooler's right there.
You can do it.
It's empty.
It's cold, right?
Sweet Child of Mine. How's it cold, right? Sweet child of mine.
Where's Nick? How's it feel, Nick?
This is room 10.
No way.
These Rockies are fucking gray.
Why is Clemmer kneeling at his feet like a midwife?
Gray as hell.
Somebody give me a song.
You're...
One below one.
Here we go, Nick.
Solo. Nick solo. First time solo. Let him go solo Nick. Solo.
Nick solo.
First time solo.
Let him go solo for a minute.
I want to see him sass.
No, I'm not going to be able to let that happen, brother.
The music's playing.
Five, six.
He's got eyes and he's into these.
Great sass.
Show respect.
Not bad. Not bad. Show respect. My bad.
My bad.
It hurts.
It hurts.
Five, six, seven, eight.
No.
Oh, damn.
Five, six, seven, eight.
No.
Count us in, Kate.
Am I being tough?
Okay.
Okay, count us in, Kate.
Okay, ready?
Five, six, seven, eight.
Five, six, 7, 8.
She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Everything was as fresh as a bright blue sky
Come on, Nick. Focus.
I got it.
Now and then when I see her face.
Let's go.
Let's go.
I've been sitting too long.
I'll probably break down and cry.
Focus, Nick.
Here we go.
Focus on the lyrics.
Whoa, sweet child of mine.
They don't have the woes.
They don't have the woes.
Whoa, sweet love of mine. They don't have the woes. They don't have the woes. Woe.
Woe. Oh, sweet love of mine.
Fuck!
Getting a tattoo on his kneecap.
Now and then when I see her face, it takes me away.
I had to look around and see who was there.
Fuck it, let's shade it.
Five, six, seven, eight.
She's got eyes of the bluest skies.
And if they thought of rain, I hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain.
Her hair reminds me of a warm, safe place
where I was a child
at night.
We pray to the thunder
and the rain to quietly
pass in my eye.
Oh,
sweet child
of mine.
Why can't I hear the music?
Oh, sweet love of mine. Brandon Out of my mind. Why can't I hear the music? Focus, Nick. Oh, oh, oh, sweet love of mine.
Brandon, help out Nick.
Help him the fuck out.
I got to pick it up.
The best part is Clemmer is bopping along, and he's not hearing the actual music.
He's just hearing us sing terribly.
Oh, fuck.
I can't imagine how bad we sound. Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
We're going to comment on just where do we go.
I need to be able to...
Can we up the volume on my headphones?
I need to be able to hear this shit.
Nick, where's your happy place?
What's your happy place?
Shut up.
Get ready for where you go.
Put your microphone on Nick's kneecap.
Okay, cut Child of mine.
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, sweet love of mine.
Nick, focus on the lyrics.
Oh, sweet child of mine.
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, sweet love of mine. Here we go.
Guitar solo.
Guitar solo.
Bow.
Bow.
Oh.
Your guitar solo song?
Yeah.
What up, bitch?
Okay, sorry.
My apologies.
Shut the fuck up, bitch.
This last?
You're like the devil in Oh Brother Where Art Thou.
That hurts so bad.
You are the devil, brother.
It looks good.
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Oh my god.
No!
No!
He was playing the shit out of you.
Did you say, I just got a square?
What do you want?
Oh, my God.
I'm surprised it's that, like, me.
Yeah, it's not.
I'd ask knees.
Thank you.
I, Vamu, thank you.
You're the softest hand in the city.
Oh, my God.
That sucked
It's got a square
Just got a square
Here we go
Ready?
Where do we go?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Where do we go?
Where do we go?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go? Where do we go? Where do we go now? Where do we go?
Where do we go?
Where do we go?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Where do we go?
Where do we go?
Where do we go? Where do we go now? Yeah. Where do we go? Where do we go?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Where do we go now?
By the way, it's like a thousand degrees in here, and it is so hot.
It's so hot.
How's it smell, Kate?
It smells so bad in here.
Where do we go now?
It's so bad. Hunter, how's it smell? Yeah? It smells so bad in here. I know. I'm like, it's so bad.
Hunter, how's it smell?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, sweet child.
Oh, sweet child.
I'm sorry for everyone who's listening on the podcast.
Oh, my God. If you're listening to this point on the podcast.
Case race on the podcast?
Yeah, you've already.
Oh, dude, we got some real sickos out there.
I love them.
If you go this long into the case race.
How long have we been going?
I feel like we've only been going for like two hours.
No.
We're about to hit three.
We're about to hit three.
We got to hit four at least.
D-Mo.
Dude, we have.
Tattoos by D-Mo.
He'll be giving Big Cat his first tattoo.
You really don't have a tattoo, Dan?
What about a dot?
Rico, can you get me a beer out of there?
It's the yak.
I want one bad.
Or can.
You've given me a tattoo before.
It's felt fine.
That hurts so bad.
Pass it down.
Pass the other one down.
He'll catch it.
Nice. See, those mountains'll catch it. Throw it.
Nice.
Nice, Sassy.
Nice.
See, those mountains are cold as the Rockies.
Oh, shit.
Well, in the summertime, some of the Rockies aren't as cold.
So those mountains are probably as cold as the Rockies. You've never been to Colorado in the summer, brother.
Come on now.
There's Rocky Mountain.
There's Rockies in New Mexico.
Yeah.
In Mexico.
Rocky Mountain, hi.
That's just Colorado.
That's got to go to Colorado and just fucking runs dudes over.
Who?
Sass?
Sass.
Rocky Mountain High.
Colorado.
Should we do a sparkle?
Yeah, we should do a sparkle.
It feels good that-
Let's do a family feud, too.
Yeah, we got to do a feud for old time's sake.
Yeah.
It's good that they're back on the same page.
Randy and Rico are good.
That was a brief blip.
They're good.
Yeah, we're fine, right?
I thought my beer's over,
God damn it.
What?
Are you good?
I got set up.
I had a great case race.
Let's get back on track.
I haven't made a pot shot.
No, let's get back on track.
Do you need help
carrying it in?
Drug free since 1983.
Let's get back on track.
Can't wait to read these comments.
Peace, brother.
Appreciate it.
So good to me.
Zass, have some of that oxygen.
Huge win for you.
I know.
Where's the fucking poppers at?
That one on the ceiling?
So hot.
Zass, there's one that's on the ceiling, and that's the one that has the good shit in it.
You got poppers or whippets?
All right.
Oh, we do have the big poppers.
We have poppers?
Well, big confetti poppers behind Jay.
Oh, Kate. Those are freaking surprise poppers. Oh. have poppers? Well, big confetti poppers behind Jay. Oh, Kate.
Those are freaking surprise poppers.
Oh.
Surprise poppers?
Let's see.
Don't.
What are you doing?
You guys did air in these things?
I thought they were helium.
Everyone gets them the wrong way.
I don't want to do it the wrong way.
What is that helium?
Did any of these helium?
Take a guess, dude.
They're all on the fucking floor.
Just the Mylar ones are helium.
You guys are bringing the bad vibes today. Take a guess, dude. They're all on the fucking floor. Just the Mylar ones are here. You guys are bringing the bad vibes.
Take a guess, dude.
They're all on the fucking floor.
You can only have one person talk.
Yeah, that's so fucked up, Che.
You know that Brandon is Rico's tormentor for right now.
You've got to be his ally.
He's shaking his head at you like that.
Rico, I'm sorry.
Anything I've said to you so far.
I'm sorry, Rico. It was all the paupers.. Rico, I'm sorry. Anything I've said to you so far. Oh, no. I'm sorry, Rico.
It was all the paupers.
I apologize, Rico.
Yeah.
I'm getting painted in a bad light like I came into this.
Is that massive can full of...
Rico, I apologize.
You know that's my trigger.
Oh, what's in that can?
I'd rather you fuck my wife than talk to me like a child.
No, bro.
You would.
You would.
Save some for me, brother.
That's my fucking trigger.
That's a crazy order of operations.
I want to get high as shit.
Don't talk to me like a child.
I don't want to pop this thing, Ron, without making a fucking big-ass explosion.
Are those helium?
Are those helium?
Oh, yeah.
They don't go this way.
I'm trying to fucking suck the helium out of them.
Ron, what you got to do is you got to pinch the end.
Oh, there's scissors in here.
Hold on.
Throw me the scissors so I can suck helium.
Dude, can you believe that our tech guy?
Thank you.
Holy fucking shit.
You got it?
Fuck yeah, we got it.
How the hell did you get that that fast?
Oh, Rome's got it.
Rome's in.
No, we're doing drugs now.
We're doing helium right now. Wait a second. Is this my voice? Oh, Rowan's got it. Rowan's in. Now we're doing drugs now. We're doing helium right now.
It's taking a turn.
Wait a second.
Is this my voice?
Oh, yeah.
This is it.
This is real.
Rowan, Rowan.
Rowan, I don't think it's real.
Yay!
Kick me that.
Kick me that big whip.
You get the shark.
Let me get some of that.
You get the shark.
I want this whole one.
Where do we go now?
Where do we go now?
Rowan, pass the scissors.
Where do we go now?
Rowan, pass those scissors.
Oh.
Okay, pass me them.
The remnants. Brandon, you and Rico got to figure it. Where do we go now? Pass those scissors. Oh. Pass me them.
The remnants.
Brandon, you and Rico got to figure it the fuck out.
Figure it the fuck out, motherfuckers.
DJ, are you getting a tattoo back there right now?
Is he out there?
Hello, hello, hello.
Boop, boop.
That sobered me up.
That's barely enough.
I need to go way more. You need way more. Hey, try some of the ones on the floor, Seth. Try some. That sobered me up. That's barely enough. I need to go way more.
You need way more.
Hey, try some of the ones on the floor, Sass.
Try some.
Sass, try the ones.
Hello, hello, hello. All right, let me get some.
Let me get some.
Your voice got shot.
I want them all.
I want them all.
Woo!
Anti-helium.
Yeah, you sound like the State Farm guy.
Let me get shot.
You've got to give it up.
Try the ones on the floor, Sass.
They're the best ones.
You've got to try those ones. Roan, try to do demon voice with him. We get shot. Gotta give it up. Try the ones with the florist ass. They're the best ones. You've gotta try those ones.
Rowan, try to do demon voice with him.
Wait a second.
This is as low as it gets.
You need to scream?
Yeah, I need the deepest.
Sounds exactly the same.
It doesn't change.
Stop, fellas.
Oh, my God.
Joey.
You sound like a gay mince.
Who's he doing to impress me?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Do the sup, fellas, again.
Where can I get a Whippet at here right now?
Stat.
You can go across the street.
Get one at the market right across the street right there,
or you could go across the street the other way.
Rico and Brandon, you guys should just kiss and make up.
I will kiss if he'll kiss.
Oh, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. Big Cat, Big Cat, just kiss and make up. I will kiss if he'll kiss. Oh, kiss,
kiss, kiss, kiss. Big Cat,
don't hog at all. Let me get some. He's fucking hog. Alright, fine. One kiss.
One kiss. One kiss
is all it takes. One kiss
is all it takes. Kissing.
Fall in love with me.
Fall in love with me. Can I propose
whoever kisses the best gets the time slot?
We're not going to compete. Kiss. That's fair. Kiss. We're not going to compete. Kiss. Whoever kisses the best gets the time slot? We're not going to compete. That's fair.
Kiss.
We're not going to compete.
Kiss.
Whoever kisses the best gets the time slot.
Fair is fair.
Go kiss him.
Don't be pussy about this.
Go kiss him.
I'm not doing a kiss.
Kiss him.
One little kiss.
Kiss him once.
Where?
Hello.
I got an image to rip.
Come on, dude.
It's not that hard.
You fucked me, big cat.
Dan will do it.
Yeah, I can't do it.
What's the matter?
Wait a minute.
No, no.
Big Cat.
Big Cat.
Oh, come on.
Come on.
Come on.
You got to kiss him.
No, no.
Big Cat.
Don't be gay.
Don't be gay.
Kiss your boy.
I think you only kissed Brandon and Rico.
What you need to do is carry over Brandon's kiss.
Don't be gay.
Kiss your boy.
It's like they kiss.
So suck it up.
Yeah.
And I'll bring it over.
Kiss your fucking boy.
Oh.
Oh. Kiss your boy. Kiss over. Kiss your fucking boy.
Kiss your fucking boy.
So I guess Brandon and Rico are fucking gay?
The claw.
The claw.
The claw.
I never got the claw.
All right, should we do celeb Guessing or Sporkle?
Let's do three rounds of Celeb Guessing, then we'll do Sporkle.
Okay.
Three rounds.
I feel like I didn't get nearly as high. Take one down, pass it around.
How is there so much in this one?
Oh, pass me that.
You're going to OD.
Road is on the fucking moon right now.
Oh, pass me that.
This shit is incredible.
You want to try this? Can it make you high. Oh, pass me that thing now. Your shit is incredible. Want to try this?
Can it make you high?
No, I don't think so.
Oh, just your voice.
Yeah, I guess.
Try it.
Oh, Sass, you're losing it.
Who are you talking from?
Tony Danza is the next one.
All right, here we go.
Tony Danza.
All right, here we go.
Steven, you start.
She's in Rent.
Reggie Miller.
No, come on, go. Steven, you start. She's in Rent. Reggie Miller.
Oh, come on, asshole.
Oh, wrong.
We're going around.
Leo DiCaprio.
We go.
We go.
We go.
What is that fucking whore in?
Rones up.
Rones up.
Who said that?
What is that fucking slut in?
You can say whatever you want.
Nobody can trace it back to you. Aya Rudolph definitely blew away.
You go.
You go.
Tony Bennett.
Oh, man.
Basketball coach?
We got to keep an order.
Arthur Miller.
Stop it.
You were doing so well, brother.
I know, but now then you got me high.
Off helium.
High off that helium.
Hamlet Anderson.
Oh. This guy's not, high what? Off helium. I'm going to get high off that helium. Hamlet Anderson. Oh.
This guy's not.
Oh, he's in.
I'm going to go with Ray Romano.
No.
Matt Damon.
No.
TJ.
I'm going to go with Millard Fillmore.
Oh.
Handsome lady. Jadar Reno's got a face for radio
Post Malone
Tom Brady
Oh
Dylan
Alright go ahead Steven
Kevin Harlan
No
Just doing sports
Yeah he's a weirdo
Can we get some paupers around here
Cause that's that good shit
Chubby Checker he said
Chubby Checker Chubby Checker's that good shit. Chubby Checker, he said. Chubby Checker.
Chubby Checker, psycho.
Brooklyn's in.
Chubby Checker.
Oh, my God.
Ernest Hemingway.
He's dead.
Bone Crusher was born in South.
Oh, Patricia Heaton.
She's in.
Oh, sass.
What the fuck's she in?
Hey, Ramona.
Jack Carrowell.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Johnny Carson.
I'm going to go Mike Hunt.
Good.
Mike. I'm looking at that.
If that hits, we're lit.
Oh, should we go just first names?
Yeah.
I like that.
Mike.
Oh, that was close.
I was so fucking close.
Who's next?
LM.
That's one letter.
Joe.
EJ getting tatted in the background.
Oh, shit.
He is.
Aaron.
That's one.
Seal.
Jessica.
Seal got a fucked up face Robert
Hobie
I love her
No
I love that bitch
First names only
We got this
Oh uh
Walter
M
It was M
Oprah
M All I needed was M. Oprah. M.
All I needed was M.
Kanye.
Jennifer Aniston.
Good ass tits.
She never showed them.
She was friends then, brother.
He fucked.
His ass fucked her.
Will.
I used to fuck her back in the day a lot.
Hillary.
You were 11.
Yeah.
No, you were four.
Jason.
You fucked her when you were four, dude're up front good fuck already tatted you destroyed her anna oh fuck yes how'd it feel and zell huh oh that's the
snoop doggie doggie doggie you can a name now. Were your parents pissed when they caught you fucking Jennifer Aniston when you were a toddler?
So mad.
Grounded for a month.
Let's go.
They were mad at you, not her, which is like.
I'm going to go with Rob.
John.
Mary.
Mary.
You close the door TJ James
Peter
Jill
oh Jesus
I love her too
Ellen
thin ass brows
smoke
Ellen
Ellen
oh oh no Drake Drake smoke Ellen Ellen oh all right if you get somebody evil you have to chug um all right
Frank or Francis can't do both same name what was it I can't see it that's Lee Van Cleef
welcome back again with Ryan exactly what you are.
Oh, M.
What the fuck?
So M is hot.
Stay with M.
Someone stay with M.
Gary.
Wayne.
Eddie.
Whoa, Wayne.
Kate.
Oh.
Rico, Rico, Rico, Rico.
Mary.
Eddie.
Jim.
Em.
I feel like this is harder.
Bob.
Certainly not.
It is not harder.
Definitely not.
Okay.
Probably not even.
Rob.
Okay.
Pardon me.
David.
Lamar.
Okay.
You idiot.
Jessica.
I'm ass.
You fucking moron.
Bill.
Frank. Elizabeth. known drug bill frank elizabeth who's isla fisher she's hot oh she's been married to sasha barry louie oh that's the
bitch in wedding crash what was she louie was sass's guess john l anthony tony John. L. Anthony. Tony.
Fuck.
I'm the closest so far.
I'd be closest.
Gary and Kenny.
Robert.
Brow work his ass.
John.
You would have laughed at me if I said Aziz.
Louie.
He's dead.
M.
It doesn't say it.
He's dead.
M.
Why is Keanu Reeves' picture in black and white?
Sarah.
Oh, prime.
Sass.
Oh, I'm going to go with... Let's go with...
Have one ready.
Have one ready from now on.
Sam.
Dan. Elijah. Dan.
Elijah.
Slash.
Slash.
I'm going to say Daniel.
James.
Jamie.
You guys do this
until you get it.
Annie.
It'll be ours.
You guys want to do
a round of Johns?
Yeah. All right. I like Johns. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Annie. It'll be ours. You guys want to do a round of Johns? Yeah.
Yeah, all right.
I like Johns.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Johns.
Round of Johns.
Oh, Max.
I'm going Max.
This is John.
I'm going to go John.
We would have gotten to beat the shit out of you.
John.
Joan.
John.
Yeah!
Yeah!
The genius! Yes, Kate! The genius!
Yes, Kate!
Fuck yeah!
Hell yes!
Fuck yeah!
Did it!
We did it!
That was awesome.
We did it on hard mode.
Hardest way.
Just saying half.
That was somehow way harder.
You were going to say John Walsh.
I swear to God, totally was going to be John Walsh. Wow. Kate, you got to name your baby John. Okay say John Walsh. I swear to God. Totally was going to be John Walsh.
Wow. Hey, you got to name your baby John. Okay. John Walsh.
Full name.
You're not going to pop it.
Replace the sparkle. You're not going to pop it like this.
Sorry. Brandon, throw me one.
TJ, what are you getting?
Oh, tungsten. Fuck yeah, dude.
Fuck yes. That felt good.
That felt good. Nick, great call.
I'm not going to.
Good call on John.
Kate was going to say John no matter what.
Sassy.
No.
I am going to get a tattoo.
Go, die.
Not today, though.
You are?
Or today.
All right, he gets one today.
Hey, Kat, get it out of the way, man.
Ron, do you have any?
Let go, let God.
I'm letting God. Like Vinny Guadagnino. Oh. you have any? Let go, let God. I'm letting God.
Like Vinny Guadagnino.
Oh.
Like Guadagnino said,
let God.
He was a best player
at St. Rita.
What would you get
if you were to get one?
Super State logo.
Yeah.
I'd probably go
Hail State logo.
Who's that?
Some kind of
Grateful Dead thing
like a lightning bolt.
What about the
Walton brothers
with the skeletons?
Oh, no. Jefferson. You can pretend you're a Walton brother.
Look how he turned out.
Who, the Walton brothers?
I have the best DL group in the league.
Randy, you want me to get your wife's name for you?
Certainly don't.
What do we do?
True Titans.
Tell me a school better than Mississippi State.
Oh, I think so.
That's your coach.
Chris Jones or Jeffrey Simmons.
They're all max contract guys.
Tell me a team with a better group than that.
I thought you were talking about the Titans.
All right, winner gets $100 from me.
Oh.
Done.
I can't read any of those.
One animal with largest breast.
What?
Chicken.
Humans.
Names of the mutant.
Yeah.
What is that?
Two names of mutant, Warthog and Rhino from Turtles.
Oh, I know that.
Three secondary colors, four countries in the United Kingdom, five sports, Air Bud played in movies. What is that? Two names of mutant warthog and rhino from Turtles.
Three secondary colors.
Four countries in the United Kingdom.
Five sports airbud played in movies.
Six men to score over 11 career World Cup goals.
Seven languages with most Wikipedia articles.
Eight NBA players to score 70 points in a game.
Ten buttons on the face of a PS1 controller.
And 11 Federal Reserve Bank holidays.
Okay, let's go.
Che, you're up.
A PS1?
Is that what it said?
Yeah.
Square.
PS1.
I don't know how you would actually write that.
Square.
You would write the word square.
Oh, my God.
It's very easy.
Holy fuck. Roan.
Bebop.
I think 1E.
Bebop and Roan.
BE.
Yeah.
Rocksteady.
What was it?
Rocksteady.
Rocksteady.
Cheating right down to the end.
When I knew it.
One word.
Oh, yeah.
Pass.
Triangle.
How the fuck can you type that?
X.
Just the letter X.
Yeah.
Wait, it's X.
Oh.
That's correct.
Oh, no.
That's right.
See ya.
All right.
Hi.
Hold on, hold on.
That's right.
That's right.
Hi.
That's right.
We all know it's right.
Hi.
Bye-bye.
Cross.
Try cross.
Jug a beer.
X.
Jug a beer. Hi, bitch. Just throw a fit. Bye-bye. Ross, try cross. Jug a beer. What's next? Jug a beer.
Hi, bitch.
Just throw a fit.
Hi, bitch.
Guys, you know what's next,
stupid fucking bitch.
Pick your up.
I actually don't know
what it would be.
You're out.
Throw a fit.
Throw a fit.
Maybe it'll change its mind.
What is it?
Throw a fit.
It's a fucking bitch.
Circle.
Throw a fit.
Maybe it'll change its mind.
Circle.
Did you mean to say circle?
All right.
Rico.
Labor Day.
What day is that?
Tuesday.
What are you doing?
Eight.
Oh, purple.
What are you going to do?
Watching football.
Football.
That's not a mixed color.
Secondary colors.
That's not a secondary color. No. I don't's not a secondary color I would have guessed that too
Two primaries combined
Christmas
Oh indigo
If indigo counts
We'll let Kate back in
I know it's an X
I just don't know what it is
You're out
It's an X Stupid stupid stupid I just don't know what it is. This is not fair. I should still be in it. I should still be in it. You're out, Brent. You're out, Casey.
What's next?
Wrong.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Will Chamberlain.
Obi Bryant.
That's good.
Was he the one who fucked up?
Only on the face, so not on the top.
Go ahead.
I will go with up.
What?
Up.
How the fuck? I guess get with up. What? Up. How the fuck?
I guess give me down.
Fingers crossed.
Left.
There you go, Reek.
Keats out.
Right.
Right.
How's it feeling, Teej?
How about basketball?
How about Memorial Day?
Can I go with...
Okay, so I'm thinking...
So it's just the face.
Just the face.
So there's cross, which we don't know what it is.
It's X.
And then there's two on the front.
So I'm going to go with select.
Oh, I like it.
Good answer.
I guess give me start.
Good answer.
This is not fair.
Y'all aren't letting me play.
You didn't get it.
Fourth of July.
Oh. We have Rudy in there Independence Day
Or July 4th
Just drop a rock on the keyboard
You have a better chance
There you go
See how I helped you there Rico
I'm gonna go with New Year's Day.
Can I get some options for fucking answers?
I can't read any of these.
How about English?
It would be England, I think.
That looks good.
How about Christmas?
Another crisp salad tattoo over here for TJ.
You said Christmas?
He's out.
Christmas Day.
Oh, no.
Lunchum.
Oh!
Lunchum.
Oh!
Lunchum.
What was that?
Oh, I can guess again?
No.
No.
You didn't get it wrong.
I didn't get it wrong.
I did it right!
You doubled up.
If you do that on crossover grid,
then it lets you just, like,
pick a wrong answer.
Thanksgiving Day.
You're a fucking simp.
You know what? What is that question? Say it twice. You're a wrong answer. Thanksgiving Day. You're a fucking simp.
You know what?
What is that question?
Say it twice.
Oh, sass.
Really good guess, but you can read the question.
Love you to death, man. Thank you.
One is animal with the largest breast, secondary colors,
four countries in the United Kingdom,
five sports, airs played in movies.
What is already listed?
Take over your sunglasses.
Four Air Buds. What is already listed?
Basketball.
Take off your glasses.
Basketball?
I will go with
baseball.
Seventh inning fetch.
Alright, Nick. What? Oh. This shit? How about that? Seventh inning fetch. Shit.
All right, Nick.
What?
Oh.
This shit?
We're still doing this shit?
Spanish.
The answer.
What was that question?
Seven languages with most Wikipedia articles.
Chinese. Oh. Chinese.
Oh.
Oh.
Did you spell it right?
Why does it have a red line? They're looking for something different there.
It's not what they speak.
It's not what they speak.
That ain't the name of the language.
That ain't the name of the language, you fucking idiot.
All right, Stephen.
President's Day.
Oh.
We shouldn't even celebrate President's Day this year.
Not a Dave fan?
Mandarin.
What?
Not a Dave fan?
No, Mandarin is up.
Mandarin is what Rico was trying to say.
I'm a Joey B fan.
I think it's an A.
Not an A.
Oh! Oh!
Six men to
score over
11.
Eight players with over 70 points in one
game. Kobe was already listed.
Ten is the PS1.
What's the last one on the right?
Federal Reserve Bank holidays
Holidays
So we have New Year's
President's Day
Memorial
I'm gonna go with
English
Spanish
Closing your eyes
What are you accessing
Come on Seth
Basketball
Football
Baseball
Hockey Definitely It's gotta be one Come on, Seth. Basketball, football, baseball.
Hockey?
Definitely.
It's got to be one.
Wow.
So it's down to Nick, Jay, and Roan.
England.
Oh, hasn't been touched.
That's a top answer.
That's a top answer. That's a top answer.
Devin Booker.
Green.
I don't know about the NBA fucking guys.
Nick.
Wales.
Jay.
David Robinson
71
Last game of the year
French
French
What was the clue?
Russian
Languages
Countries that would be speaking German if it wasn't for our troops
Gay
I don't know the spelling Christiano Ronaldo speak in German if it wasn't for our troops? Okay.
I don't know the spelling,
so help me out.
Cristiano Ronaldo.
Cristiano Ronaldo.
Grown?
That's good.
That's good, messy.
What the fuck else did Air Bud play?
I want to say he played chess.
Scotland.
Wait, what was that?
Scotland.
Jay?
Fuck.
New Year's Eve?
No.
Absolutely not.
Out.
Nick versus Roan. Absolutely not Out Nick vs. Rome
Um
Oh shit
Maradona
Yeah
Good answer
I think there's a wrinkle
On the heart
No
What
So Nick gets this
He wins
I don't wanna know
I don't wanna know
Let me look around
Fair enough
Okay You want a hint No No No hints No hints You want a hint I don't want to know. I don't want to know. Let me look around. Fair enough.
Okay.
You want a hint?
No.
No.
No hints.
No hints.
You want a hint?
No.
German.
That's not a holiday.
Okay.
There it is.
Nicky.
100 bucks for Nick.
Pass it along.
Oh, no.
I want a double or nothing.
All right.
Ooh.
Wait.
Do the give up.
Give up just to see the answers?
I don't know.
Juneteenth. Columbus Day. What the fuck? What the fuck? You should have Give up just to see the answers? I don't know. June 10th, Columbus Day.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
You should have said capital X.
What the fuck?
Violet.
Violet.
I fucked that up.
Violet was one for K2.
Y'all knew this wasn't right.
Oh, Violet.
Well.
You didn't say capital X.
You didn't say capital X.
I didn't say capital X.
June 10th.
All right, one more.
Double or nothing for Nick.
Figure it out once you get the things.
I got to take a piss.
Got to doll.
You know what?
Fuck it.
Quadruple or nothing, big cat.
Okay.
Sorry, pal.
All right, Sass is out, though.
He's not a part of this.
Well, no, then you got to guess the first one, Sass.
All right.
You got to sit where next through.
He's fine.
He's fine. he's an idiot he's a bumbling fool he's an invalid he's literally invalid invalid invalid oh no he is invalid
one measurement tool using auditing in scientology three characters chrysalid plays in summer height
highs three actions to play play Charlie's Angels,
four main shop staff in Pawn Stars. Sorry, I've got to pull this one up.
We pressed play instead of...
You're just counting me out of this one.
All right, find another one.
No, I can do the same one.
No, find a different one.
Go with this.
Pour him.
Ow!
That was so loud.
Brandon said ow.
All right, here we go.
Brandon did say ow.
Sass, here we go.
One only graphic novel on Times 100 top novels,
four names to tell the tubbies,
four people on an infamous banana boat pick,
five Planeteer rings in Captain Planet,
five NASCAR crown jewel races,
six original players in Legion of Boom Seahawks,
seven video game consoles to sell over 100 million units,
nine Matt Damon movies
with highest box office sales.
Nine artists to open
for Taylor Swift
during U.S. Arrows Tour.
Ten Simpsons.
Let's do a different one.
Oh, this one's good.
All right,
Ten Simpsons side characters.
Oh, he already did
a different one.
Sass, I'm trying to win
four fucking dollars.
All right, here we go, Sass.
Go.
I'll go...
Oh, you're going first?
Yeah, because he's got to go take a piss.
Phoebe Bridgers.
Phoebe Bridgers.
Bridgers.
Phoebe Bridgers.
He...
What are the fucking categories?
ERS.
There you go.
That's a weird-ass answer to go first.
PlayStation 3.
Oh, no, it's Brandon.
What?
We're going to go with
Um
Apu
Cancelled
P-U
No just A-P-U
Odell
Jesus Christ
I like to live dangerously
Beckham Jr
What is this for?
Banana boat.
Yeah, that's not right.
That's not close to right.
That's the boat.
All right, so you have lost.
I was thinking the boat.
You've lost your quadrupler, nothing.
Fucking doll.
That was so bad.
That was the boat.
Wayne Wade.
I think. Yeah was the boat. Wayne Wade. I think.
Yeah.
PlayStation 3.
Could be PS3, PlayStation 3.
Oh, no.
Oh, shit.
Broke the whole thing.
Oh, fuck.
Start from the rip, I guess.
So say what we had.
Bridgers. I said Bridgers. Who? Ap had. Bridgers.
I said Bridgers.
Who?
Bridgers.
Apu.
Apu.
I said Dwayne Wade.
Rico.
All right, Zago Bridgers.
Wait, wait.
Bridgers.
Then PlayStation 3.
Apu.
No, we already got Apu.
Okay, I'm sorry.
PS3.
Oh, what that?
Uh, okay.
Seconds all.
Inky Winky.
Jay, or, uh, Roan.
Inky Winky.
Oh, shit.
I used to know these.
That's it.
That's the name of the... It's a spelling thing.
Am I up?
No, no, you're up.
Yeah, you gotta help me out, my brother.
I don't know the spelling, but maybe someone back there can help you out.
I don't want to look it up.
You're all bored and you chose Tinky Winky.
I mean, I'll tell you all four of their names, but...
T-I-N-K-I-E-W-I-N-K-Y?
Tinky Winky.
Apparently he was gay.
No. I won't say. Yeah. Winky. Apparently he was gay. No.
Don't say.
Yeah.
Ned Flanders.
No.
That's right.
What were you going to say, Rico?
Wait, PlayStation was one?
Was that PlayStation 1?
Yeah.
Okay, I'm going to go PlayStation 2.
Oh.
Yeah, that's my best-selling console of all time.
I'm going to go PlayStation 2. Oh. Yeah, that's my best-selling console of all time. I'm going to go Mr. Burns.
PlayStation 1 sold 100 million units.
That's crazy.
Oh, you're out?
Moe, the bartender.
M-O-E.
LeBron James.
Carmelo.
So this question is wrong.
Why?
Because there was only three people on the infamous banana boat pick.
Huh?
Carmelo was not.
But I don't know why this.
Well, there were four.
There were four.
Oh, my God. Two other guys.
Oh, yeah.
Chris Paul.
Oh, my God, dude.
I knew so many answers.
Chris Paul.
Shit, who's the fourth?
I'm going to go Wii.
W-I-I.
Nintendo Wii.
Nintendo Wii.
I'm going to go Chris Bosh.
Definitely just going to be Wii.
He wasn't on there?
No. There was only three. That's why this makes no sense. Okay. Well, I'm going to go Chris Bosh. Definitely just going to be Wii. He wasn't on there? No.
There was only three.
That's why this makes no sense.
Okay.
Well, I'm out too.
Yeah.
No, it was a woman.
Me?
Might have been a woman.
It was a...
Yeah.
Oh, it says people, not players.
Yeah.
I'm a fucking idiot.
Oh.
Start over.
Start a new one.
Uh.
Fuck.
I don't want them to trap me.
Xbox 360.
Yep.
100%.
Wow. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L.. Xbox 360. Yep, 100%. Wow.
Is that not right?
No way.
Can we dive deeper into that?
I think that's right.
Go ahead, Che.
Who's last?
E. Che and Sass.
Yeah, that should be right.
E. Che and Sass.
Bullshit.
That should be right.
E. Che and Sass.
Did you guys look at the answers?
That should be in it.
Bobby Wagner. No, in it. Bobby Wagner.
No, Bobby Wagner.
Bobby Wagner's a linebacker, you dumb fuck.
Three-signature, 100%.
Sold 100 million.
Legion of Boom is six players.
Right.
Yeah, it's linebacker.
It's D-backs.
It's all D-backs.
Wrong.
It's me versus Sass.
Two titans of Vinge.
Bobby Wagner.
Bobby Wagner.
No, 360 should be in there.
360 was not in there?
I thought that referred to the whole defense.
No, it referred to the back end.
The guy's in the back.
I thought it was the entire defense.
Go ahead, Sass.
Jason Bourne.
I want to wait for 360 to see if this is it.
I would be shocked if 360...
It's not on there? No, Jason Bourne
isn't. What?
It is. I just got it.
360's not on there. 360's not on there?
You're up. Taz, you're up.
That's crazy.
360's not on there? Let's move past
360. Come on, Taz.
What the fuck?
Shut the fuck up.
Shut up.
What am I looking at right now?
I got... The other video game system that sold a lot of units.
Yeah, but I...
If 360 didn't, I'm questioning it.
Five Planeteer rings in Captain Planet.
Five NASCAR crown jewels.
Matt Damon movies.
Matt Damon movies.
Oh, okay.
I'll do Good Will Hunting.
It's a wrap.
Separate the first two worlds.
Xbox 360 is estimated at 84 million units.
So, and so it's, so Sash wins.
All right.
No, I'm up.
I'm still up.
Still in.
Yeah.
Nintendo.
No, you can't just do Nintendo.
You can't.
That is a system.
Fuck.
64 is what I meant.
It's not a system.
He was breathing in.
It was a big inhale and exhale.
Fuck.
All right, Sass.
Sass won.
So I got, no, I got room to breathe.
I need to get this one to win.
Yeah, you won.
Six original players of Legion of Boom.
Matt Damon movies.
Oh, you might not get this.
Oh, you're dumb.
He's got it.
I forgot.
You only know like four things.
This was a really bad performance on this for all of us.
Nine artists to open up for Taylor Swift.
I'm going to go with Ice Spice.
Huh?
Oh, is that?
Oh.
Is that not going to work?
All right.
Back in.
Back in. I'm back in.
I don't know why.
I'll go with The Martian.
Oh, good fucking hell.
Why aren't you doing DBs for Seattle?
I can't.
My brain is locked up.
That's going to win.
That's going to get it for sure.
All right, get one, Tess.
My brain is locked up.
I'm going to go with We Bought a Zoo.
Oh.
No, no, no.
Big Cat just won.
Okay, so it could have been Richard Sherman,
Amp Chancer, Earl Thomas.
I want to see these consoles.
Show me these consoles.
Show me these consoles.
Byron Maxwell.
Earth, Wind, Heart, Fire.
What?
Station 4.
What was that?
Brandon Browner.
Tipsy Wipsy Dipsy Lala Poe.
God damn it, bro.
Switch.
No!
Heart, Earth, Wind.
Start up another one.
There were so many.
We need another one.
Look at all those capital letter bands that opened up for Taylor Swift.
Damn, we suck.
What was it?
Lena Hayne.
We suck.
Gail.
Let's spin the wheel, TJ, and then let's finish with a sport.
Didn't we already spin the wheel?
No.
Let's do another one. Let's do a fresh one. That would be so convenient. with a sport. Didn't we already spin the wheel? No. Let's do another one.
Let's do a fresh one.
That would be so convenient.
A couple more.
We got nothing but time.
We have time.
It's 11 o'clock at night.
We're going to meet at Stu Feiner's house.
Fucking hate me.
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone!
Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone! Carbone to Carbone.
When are we gonna go to Carbone?
When you guys are back in Philly.
When you guys back in...
Or, I'm sorry, in New York.
Is that a chain?
Or no?
Come on.
Or maybe in...
Respect.
You gotta go tomorrow night?
I think we have to go tomorrow night.
I can't go tomorrow night.
I'm gonna be...
I have to go home.
And you have to go back to the office.
You won't get a reservation.
We will do Carbone.
I promise I will do Carbone before the year's up.
Five, six, seven.
Kate, she was on the show.
I will pay for Carbone.
You can't leave?
You can't even get like ten people at Carbone.
Ask Jerry.
He'll get it done.
Set up another fucking...
Let's go to Carbone in Hong Kong.
They don't have it there.
They do.
God.
We're fucking going to Hong Kong, I guess.
Speak Chinese there.
I thought Ike Spice opened for Taylor Swift.
We know you thought that.
What are they?
What are they for?
Tinky Winky Dipsy Lala.
Oh, fuck.
All right, here we go.
All right, one city with the largest zoo in the United States.
Easy.
Three members of WWE Trio Shield.
Two schools that beat Notre Dame in the college football playoff.
Four NHL players with the most regular season goals all time.
Ariel Lummix.
Five rights listed in the first amendment of the U.S. Constitution.
Six official languages of the United Nations.
Seven most recent MLB home run derby winners.
Eight teams in the Elite Eight of the 2012 March Madness Tournament.
Nine members of the Fellowship of the Ring.
Get a new one.
No, it's a good one.
New one, new one, new one.
It's a great one.
All sports.
Fuck you.
Once I saw Fellowship of the Ring, you know I haven't been a fucking body bag.
One word in the dictionary spelled incorrectly.
Two teams that have beaten Michigan in the college football playoff.
Three branches of the government in the U.S.
Four teams in the AFC South.
Five love languages.
Six NFL receivers with the most receptions 2022.
Seven largest states by square miles.
Eight main characters in the Wizard of Oz.
Nine Quentin Tarantino films.
And ten NBA players with the most blocks all time.
All right, Big Cat starts.
The winner.
Oh, wait, so he got his 400 back.
Yeah, he got his 400 back.
How much is this for?
Zero.
Go ahead.
If Big Cat wins, we all owe him 100.
Done.
Incorrectly.
Beautiful.
Oh shit, that's brilliant.
Holy shit.
I'm going to go with
Inglorious Bastards.
Such a simp.
Such a simp. Such a simp.
I-N.
B-A-S-T-E-R-D.
While you're at it, let me get into the brew.
Sarah needs a brew stat.
I think it's B-E-R-D-S.
Real cranky.
Brandon, beer in my hands.
Now.
That's right.
It's called the Inglorious Book of Bastards. It's called Inglorious Bast now. Now. Now. Now. It's called like the Inglourious Book of Bastards
or something? It's called Inglourious Bastards.
And in beer. Now.
Now. Now. Now.
Now. Now. Now.
Now. Now. Now.
Now. Now. Now.
I need a cold one.
TCU.
Very cold.
Look at the mountains.
Dorothy. You just skipped Nick. Yeah cold. Now. That's very cold. Look at the mountains. Oh, Dorothy.
You just skipped Nick.
Yeah, I did.
Sorry.
Go ahead.
I want to take Dorothy, big cat.
Thank you.
Rico?
You're up, Rico.
Rico's cheating.
Five.
Tin Man.
Ooh, no.
There's no way.
Ooh, Sandman isn't there.
Tin Man.
Tin Man.
Tin Man.
Tin.
It said Tin Man. S-A-N-D
Space
Houston
Texans
Houston we have a problem
The Lion or the Cowardly Lion
Lion
I'm a real boy
Georgia
Georgia Georgia I'm a real boy. Georgia. Georgia.
Georgia.
Georgia.
Where am I at?
Anywhere you want to be.
What does that one say?
Right here, bro.
Seven largest what?
Square mile states.
Biggest states.
Oh, Texas.
Nice.
Thank you, brother.
I'll go Alaska.
California. Shut up, boy. California You're gonna run on the states
Tin Man, Cowardly Lion, Scarecrow
Don't we get that phone out of our hands
What are you looking at?
I got a picture motherfucker
Of the answers
Of the fucking blank slate
It's a blank space baby
Here we go
For the boys, Tennessee Titans.
Why do you guys say it like that?
Gross ass answer, Che.
Gross answer.
Gross answer.
We're contemplating on a lot of things.
Executive.
That's true.
Branch of the government.
Taylor only put on one.
Branch of the government.
Cover up.
Indianapolis Colts.
COVID.
Mask division. Mask Division.
Sass.
What is taken in...
Actually, I don't even need that shit.
Fuck that noise.
Alaska, Texas, California.
No, I'm not going to.
That's risky.
What is top right?
I love languages.
Give me a Quentin Tarantino film.
Quentin Tarantino film.
I'll go with Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.
Oh, shimp.
I can't read any of their fucking answers, though.
Oh, this glasses back on.
Wrong.
Give me Pulp Fiction.
Give him Pulp Fiction.
Nope.
I just helped you.
Wrong.
I need a pussy.
Yes, bitch.
Fuck.
Give me Arizona.
Where's that motherfucker over there?
Sorry, Nicky.
Big as hell.
Wicked Witch of the West.
Nope.
No, don't do that. Let's try it. Big as hell. Wicked Witch of the West. Nope. No, don't do that.
Let's try it.
There we go.
Jacksonville.
Jaguars.
Say the goddamn word.
Seriously.
I just did say the word.
Why are you giving me three words when you know I can't spell?
Jaguars.
A-A-G.
Legislative. Legislative.
Oh.
Legislative.
Ew.
Che hates the legislative branch.
Did that motherfucker get hurt last year?
That's Road Dogs.
Good poll.
Good poll, BC.
Thanks, bro.
Put an R before a V.
If that counts.
There you go.
There it is.
Kill Bill.
Good pull, Sassy.
Great pull, Sassy.
Montana.
0-1 and 2.
Both came up.
Wow.
Show me Jackie Brown.
Jackie Brown.
Jackie Brown.
Jack, Jack, Jackie Brown.
Jack, Jack, Jackie Brown. Jack, Jack, Jackie Brown. Jackie Brown. Jackie Brown. Jackie Brown.
Jackie Brown.
Done.
Hakeem Olajuwon.
Nope.
Two E's.
Hakeem Jalamajemina.
That's O-A-O-L.
You nailed it.
O-L-A-J-O-N-O-L You nailed it O-L-A-J
O-N-O-N
Akeem Jalamano
Everyone still in?
Yeah
Who was that?
That was you?
Yeah
Who was Akeem Jalamano?
Jay, it's you now
Dikembe Matambo
Jesus Christ
Jay
M-U Spell it out for us, brother M-U Jay, it's you now. Dikembe Mutombo. Jesus Christ, Jay.
MU.
Spell it out for us, brother.
MU.
Not all of us are fluent in Asian.
Justin Jefferson. Oh.
S-O-N.
Yep.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Wait, what is that one all the way to the left, Jay?
Six NFL receivers with the most receptions in 2022.
Kareem AEM.
Let me find it.
Let me find that.
Justin Jefferson.
How long has Justin Jefferson been on the Vikings?
Two Bs.
Three years?
They're just asking one year.
But how long was he on the Vikings for?
This is his fourth year.
This is his fourth year.
Oh, you got it.
Diggs wouldn't be on that then, would he?
Well, this is just last year.
Oh, Diggs.
I'm going to go Stefan Diggs.
Hold up.
One A.
This might not be right.
Oh, it is.
That's his right.
I'm going to go Stefan Diggs.
Amy Diggs? You know how bad I'm going to go Stefan Diggs. Amy Diggs?
You know how bad I'm going to go.
Fucking Davis right there.
Me, Django Unchained.
Django Unchained, brother.
Not Danko Unchained.
Not what I said at all.
The J is silent.
Give me the hateful eight.
Oh, fuck.
You can't be the first out Rico
Maybe me
Is fucking
Spanish a love language
No I don't think so
I think it
That's not what they mean by that
You're thinking of romance languages
Alright see ya
See ya
You're dramatically overthinking love language
Yeah
Yeah it's not
It's not actual languages
It's like fucking dumbass
Pussy shit
That's stupid
Girl shit
Amonra St. Brown
S-T period B-R-O-N
B-R-O-N
We shouldn't even try to fuck with our first name
Put St. Brown
Are we gonna go all the way?
No
Well
There's like a dash There you go Judicial fuck with our first name. Are we going to go all the way? No.
There's like a dash. There you go.
Judicial.
What about Bill Russell?
Great.
Who else?
Who else?
Oh!
Big cat!
They didn't start keeping blocks until like halfway through his career, I think.
Fuck.
I'm going to go physical touch.
What?
Just put touch.
Oh, fuck.
Give me...
That's too easy!
Give me morning.
M-O-U-R-N-I-N-G.
Alonzo.
Give me Devante adams yes you don't have to bless the answers jay wrong uh it's d-a-v-a-n-t-e would have already been
it's a hundred percent so you're out then too you're out then too you're out then, too. You're out then, too. You're out then, too, Che.
You said it's 100%.
Yeah, you had me for a confident, which is worse than...
Alright, Ronan and Brandon.
Oh, I'm still in.
Sass.
Sass has his love languages.
Am I up?
Acts of service.
Wow.
What the fuck is that?
Spanish.
I'm going to go with quality time.
Fuck you.
You named the motherfuckers.
You didn't know the motherfuckers.
There's no chance you can get love language.
Acts of hate, maybe.
Don't say that.
You're a hater.
You're a hater.
I think New Mexico is pretty big.
I'm going to say New Mexico.
Poll.
Good poll.
Good poll.
Good poll.
Devontae Smith.
Poll.
Oh, shouldn't have been an NFL player.
Yeah.
Or a Stephen Shea.
You don't watch college.
The guy doesn't watch college.
Will you say it wrong again? D-E-V. Oh, instead of that A. You don't watch college. The guy doesn't watch college. Will you say it wrong again?
D-E-V.
O instead of that A.
You don't watch college.
I watch it live.
What?
I don't watch it live.
You don't watch it at all.
Of course I do.
When do you watch it?
Last verse, Brandon.
I'm going to go with prep.
All right, let me see.
Bullshit.
If you watch everything, you watch nothing.
What does that mean? If you watch everything, you watch nothing. What does that mean?
If you watch everything, you watch nothing.
Jack of all trades, master of none.
Still wrong.
How many did you get right in the first round this year?
How many picks?
Six.
What's your gambling percentage?
Come on, Sass.
Oh, you got six picks right.
Come on, Sass.
That's pretty good.
Six out of 30?
Out of 32, exactly.
I'm going to go with gift giving.
Do the math.
Six divided by 32.
Gift giving.
18%.
If you got 18 on your SATs, you'd be going to DeVry.
No, that's not it.
Brandon.
That is one.
Get back in or else I'm back in.
That's crazy.
How many years have you been here?
Is gift giving not one?
Ten.
Seving gift. Here's one. No gambling. Here's one. I'm going to go with Tyreek Hill. Wait, wait, no. I'm back in. That's crazy. How many years have you been here? Is gift giving not one? Ten. Receiving gift.
Is one.
No gambling.
Is one.
I'm going to go with Tyreek Hill.
Wait, wait, no.
I got that one.
I got that one.
They said I got it.
Receiving gifts is different than giving gifts.
It's the opposite.
It's the opposite.
No, I got it.
It's the opposite.
What are you talking about?
It's the opposite.
H-I-L-L.
See if Hill is there.
You're opposite.
Come on, Brandon.
Hill?
Yeah. Motherfucker thinks I can't spell. I know I can't on, Brandon. You? Yeah.
Motherfucker thinks I can't spell. I know I can't
spell, but motherfucker thinks I can't spell.
All right. So I'm going to do something
special. David Robinson? You're not back in.
We're all back in. We're all back in.
Brandon won. I got that. I just got that.
All right, David Robinson, I'm back in.
You're good. Jack.
Jack. No, don't be
saying shit. No, it's over. No, I just got saying shit. It's over.
I just got that.
You said giving gifts.
I said receiving.
I want to do something special for the last thing we do.
I'm still up.
Where are you going?
We're not done.
We're all back in.
We're not.
You said giving gifts.
It was just me and gifts. I said giving. Okay.
Oh, it's just me and Brandon?
I said X.
And then one.
Rowan, obviously you would not be back in if I'm not back in.
See you, Rowan.
Miss you, buddy.
He's coming back.
We got one last thing before we end.
We'll wait, TJ, until Rowan and Nick get back.
Is this a surprise?
No, we're just...
I want to finish with good vibes.
That sucks!
I should have had that.
I got that.
Sass, remember when you said that you were going to come out the winner?
I am the winner.
You're losing right now.
I'm clearly the winner.
You're losing.
You can't do...
At this point, there's 200 people watching.
There's no way you can twist me into the loser here.
Getting drunk on my best. Losers. M2. Easily. way you can twist me into the loser here. Getting drunk on him.
Losers.
M2.
Easily.
One more than the other.
Brandon, you guys don't even know what's going to hit you.
No, I know.
I've been here many times.
No, dude.
You have never been.
I've been here many times.
Brandon knows.
Brandon, Brandon, what?
He's been here many times.
Brandon and Rico both.
If there's two guys that know what the fire looks like, it's them.
Okay, what episode of Pick'Em?
One more than others.
What episode of Pick'Em and what episode of The Yak have gotten over 700,000 views
where you're only getting negative comments?
Is the argument now that you...
The argument is that you've never felt a fire like this before.
You are about to get it like you've never gotten it in your entire career.
I think we'll be okay.
In your entire career.
In your entire career.
We'll be okay.
You don't even know what's coming.
I'm genuine.
If you need to text me, if you need to call me, call me.
I have never needed to text you or call you.
You will.
You will.
I know you will.
Please call me.
Because I'll give you advice.
I'll tell you how to cope.
We're going to make it.
700,000 views on the last case race okay wrestling got that routinely wrestling never has gotten that i know that oh dude i'm worried about you because you don't even know what's gonna hit you
yeah you are you're making a late push here it's a storm you're making a storm You're making a late push here. It's a storm. You're making a hard late push.
I'm making a late push defending him.
I'm telling the fans. I'm saying go easy on Brandon.
I've been through this shit.
You don't need to tell the fans. I'm good.
Guys, go easy on Brandon. Go easy on Brandon and Enrico.
Thank you. We appreciate that.
Go full fucking throttle on Brandon and Enrico.
Give them your worst.
Is Nick coming back?
Why are you turning on me, sis?
Because Brandon's telling me not to.
Oh, God.
There's a storm coming like you ain't never seen.
TJ, I want to end with something.
Let's do a compliment.
Nick's not here.
Nick's not here. Nick's not here.
Nick's not here.
I got to play the take shelter.
All of us or just me and Rico?
No, no, no.
Brandon's going to go first, and then we'll go off there.
Whoever he picks will then spill the wheel.
Okay, compliment minute.
I like it.
I think we should do a couple more sport goals because I feel like I was close to winning on both of those.
Okay, Brandon, go ahead.
You're spinning.
All right, spin it.
Man, you act like I told you I didn't want this conversation.
Conversation happened and it's all right.
It's Rico.
All right, here we go.
Compliment minute.
Is there some take shelter?
Compliment minute.
Let him go.
Here we go.
Put up the timer.
Like you will never seen.
Success is definitely ruining this now.
Oh, yeah.
Twist shot.
Just let him come.
Because you know you're number three.
You're number three on the hit list right now.
Yeah.
I'm like number seven.
I'm right here.
Sit down.
Get up and look at me.
I'm right here.
Don't worry about it.
Here we go.
I can barely see you because of the-
Set.
Go.
Rico, the strides you have taken over the last year, unbelievable.
You used to be one way.
Now you're the entirely different way.
I would rather do a show with Rico Bosco or whatever your government name is.
I would rather do a show with you than anybody here, okay?
I enjoy your company.
I think you're a terrific guy.
Not only are you a terrific guy in here, you're a great father,
and I'm sure you're a great husband, although I don't know your wife.
You're a great person, a great sure you're a great husband although i don't know your wife you're a great person a great human being and i enjoy your company and when
you're in a good mood and when i'm in a good mood and we're in the good mood together halfway through
who could stop us who could stop us you know college basketball very very well you're passionate
about a lot of things you know broadway and rent like nothing i've ever seen before you are uh you
are smart you beat me in trivia.
You stood me and faced me down in front of everybody.
Does it bother me?
Does it eat me up inside?
Yes, but you fucking stared me down and you beat me.
You are more talented than I am.
You got more knowledge than I got in some areas,
and you are a super fucking guy,
and I wish you and I were just buddies all the time.
Damn, that was good.
Wow, that was really good.
All right, Rico, now you got to spin the wheel.
All right.
I wonder who I'm going to get.
I know this show, and I know who it's not going to be.
Did you say what happened?
No.
Been here a long time.
It's your story to tell.
I won't do it to you.
Tell it, tell it, tell it, tell it, tell it.
All right.
Well, I told these guys in the booth.
Tell it, Nick.
All right.
Oh, no. Very hilarious. Now let Nick. Oh, no.
Very hilarious.
Uncomfortable.
Yeah, it was uncomfortable.
I was in the bathroom cleaning off my face paint, and it smeared a ton.
The door opens up.
Zah catches me full blackface.
The deepest, darkest.
It was worse than the green screen.
It was.
It was the whole entire thing.
And I turned around. And he was like, I got to go get my phone. the deepest, darkest. It was worse than the green screen. It was. It was the whole entire thing.
And he was like, I gotta go get my
phone. It was
a horrible situation.
It was bad.
What? Somebody took a shit?
I understood, though. No.
Yup.
Someone took a shit. Rico, go ahead.
Spin it. Who am I getting?
This seems rigged.
You just took it.
And...
Oh!
Yellow Brandon.
Boys, it's 11-20.
Let's end it.
Yeah, no, this is the last thing.
All right.
Okay.
You just got to compliment Brandon for a minute.
Yep.
Oh, yeah, no.
Let's end it.
I want someone to compliment me, though.
End it.
I love your Denzel impression.
I wish you would do it more.
Should we end it?
Roll it.
I love you, Che.
Go ahead, Rico.
Love you all.
Compliment him.
Let's go.
Minute.
Minute.
He tried to kill my wife.
I was drunk.
Brandon, you know college football.
You're such a good host that you're insistent on the times that you should host,
and you're rightfully so.
Don't be afraid to flame him.
You have so many kids.
You're so good at sex.
You have so many kids you have to relocate your family across the country.
They couldn't afford New Jersey.
Most of the time, you drive really well.
Except for the time that he crashes his car.
I didn't say that.
You have glowed up with your hair.
You used to look like a homeless hick.
Now you just look like hick.
You.
Only halfway there.
You are very good on the yak.
Your trivia prowess is good for the second best in the company.
Very nice, Rico.
Of all the canceled comics to know things about, you know the most about the most canceled comic.
Rapists.
That too.
Yeah, serial rapists.
And to be honest, when you're acting good and you're
not on your ego shit you are my friend i was so fucking nice you are my friend i was so fucking
shake his hand shake his hand you are my friend you are his friend You are his friend You are his friend You are his friend
Wow
Peace in the Middle East
Friends
Felt good
Alright you guys should both
Start your shows at 10.30
Oh fuck
Seriously
Okay so wait
Brie Killiff
You wanted to start your show
At 10.30
Alright
And Brandon Shorty
Started his at 11
Is that okay?
Thanks everyone for listening.
That was fun, guys.
That was a fun case race.
This is the last moment they'll see in this studio for this iteration of the act.
Holy fucking shit.
Yeah, we should.
Oh, look what you've done.
We always do closing time.
No.
We always do closing time.
What about closing time and you guys walk out of the studio and leave an empty stand?
We didn't start the fire.
Nobody knows how to sing that.
They know exactly how to sing that.
I don't know how to sing We Don't Start the Fire.
Jesus Christ.
You don't know how to sing We Didn't Start the Fire?
The only living boy in New York?
We didn't start the fire.
The only living boy in New York.
Closing time.
What about Mr. Brightside?
Do we do that again?
Closing time.
Do we do one headlight?
Every new beginning comes from some of the beginnings. Closing time. You do one headlight. Every new beginning comes from some of the beginnings.
One headlight.
Closing time.
Closing time or one headlight.
Closing time.
What about why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Not quite the vibe.
Okay, sass.
I guess Rico couldn't just fuck himself.
Because of Nick.
What about All My Life, The Beatles? I thought you were going to fucking pizza sauce because of Nick. What about All My Life
The Beatles?
I thought you were going to say
KC and Trojan.
All my life.
Oh, that's fucking
Is that In My Life?
Yeah, In My Life.
There are places I remember
In my life.
Let's get to a
Let's do Turn the Page.
Though some have changed
Bob Seger.
Let's get to a consensus, though.
I liked One Headlight. One Headlight. Here weger. Let's get to a consensus, though. I liked One Headlight.
One Headlight.
Here we go.
What's this one?
Key of D.
One Headlight.
All right, everyone in D?
Everyone's, everyone's, everyone's.
D, find D, find D, find D.
Where's Charlie Puth?
Three more measures, Reek.
Long ago, I don't remember when.
That's when they say I lost my only friend.
Reek on Brandon.
This is the disease of a broken heart disease.
I listen through the cemetery trees.
Can't do a song you don't know the words. Do you not know the words? Oh. Oh. Broken heart diseases as I listen through the cemetery trees.
You can't do a song you don't know the words.
Do you not know the words?
Uh.
Yes.
Uh.
Sun.
Uh.
Oh, really? Uh.
You didn't know that?
That's Jacob Dillon.
I seen the sun coming up at the funeral at dawn.
Long broken arm of people gone.
Now I always seen
such a way she always had
a butter face
I wonder why she hung around this place
sounds like it's coming through
here we go
hey
come on try a little
nothing is forever.
It's got to be something better than it in the middle.
Me and Cinderella, we'll put it all together.
We can drive it home.
One hand high.
One hand high.
We crushed it.
She said it's cold.
It feels like Independence Day. And I can't break away from this parade.
Yes, sir.
But we got to open it somewhere here in front of me.
Through this piece of ugly discreet. All right, let's do Rocket Man. Let's do Rocket Man. Got an opening somewhere here in front of me. Through the spaces above the street.
All right, let's do Rocket Man.
Let's do Rocket Man and let's close it out.
This is technically me and Rowan's last show on the app.
That's a good point.
No, it's not.
It technically is.
Literally the next show you're going to see, you guys will be on.
Did you say Rocket Man or Tidy Dancer?
Literally the next show. Rocket Man, right? You'll be on. Really? Yeah Rocket Man or Tidy Dancer? Literally the next show.
Rocket Man, right?
You'll be on.
Really?
Yeah.
Is that actually what it is?
Are you going to come on that Tuesday?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fuck this.
This breakup's never happening.
I'm going to keep teasing it forever.
No Cinderella.
Nothing is forever.
All right, here we go.
All right, Sass, take this.. Alright, Sass, take us.
Take it, Sassy.
I packed my bags last night pre-flight.
Nice, Sass. You go the first one.
Zero hour.
9 a.m.
Well, this is not the song.
This is not the song.
Why is everything keyed down?
And I'm gonna be high
As a kite by then Is everything like keyed down? And I'm gonna be high. High.
As a kite by then.
I miss the earth.
Yeah, Che, go solo.
I miss my wife.
Che, solo.
Stay on it.
Solo with Sass.
It's lonely out in space.
You're locked.
You're locked.
You're locked, Che.
On such a timeless flight.
Great solo, Che.
You're crushing this with Sass.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Everyone.
Here we go.
Everybody now.
And I think it's going to be a long, long time.
So touchdown brings me round again to find.
Stop Rico.
I'm the man.
I think I am at home.
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm a rocket man.
Rocket man.
I got a fuse up here alone.
I may turn my mic off. Is it on? It's on. I don't hear. I think I turned my mic off.
Is it on?
It's on.
I don't hear you.
It turned me off at first.
And I think it's going to be a long, long time. The touchdown brings me around again to find.
I'm not the man they think I am at all.
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm a rocket man.
Rocket man.
Burning out a fuse of air alone.
I think we know who should take this next part.
Oh, shit.
None of this.
Ain't the kind of place to raise your kids.
In fact, it's cold as hell.
And there's no one there to raise them.
If you do.
Dude.
Here we go now.
Brandon, get in Breakdown
Come on Brandon
Brandon Solo
All the science
Brandon Solo
I don't understand
Brandon Solo with Sass
Yep
It's just my job
Five minutes a week
Go Brandon
Rocket Man
Rocket Man.
Rocket Man.
Hey, so what's up there, Brandon?
Here we go, Brandon.
All right.
I'm in.
And I think it's going to be a long, long time.
The sound brings me round again to find.
I'm not the man they think I am at home oh no no no I'm a rocket man
rocket man burning out of fuser parallel
and I think long long time and I think it's gonna be a, long time. And I think it's going to be a long, long time.
Touchdown brings me round again to find.
I'm not the man I think I am at home.
No, no, no.
I'm a Rocket Man.
Rocket Man.
Burning out a fuse of heroin and I think it's
gonna be a long long
time
and I think it's gonna be
a long long time
and I think it's
gonna be a long long
time And I think it's gonna be a long, long time And I think it's gonna be a long, long time
And I think it's gonna be a long, long time
And I think it's gonna be a long, long time.
Boys.
Hey, fun show.
Yeah, what a fun case race.
What a fun case race.
Three times.
That was nothing but good vibes,
aside for Rico and Brandon.
At least some of us are going away unscathed there.
I'm going to sleep like a baby.
I love you all.
24 hours of sleep at least.
You slept for 34 hours.
Honestly,
if you're liking this stream
or this video,
this is good vibes for KB.
This is a good vibe for KB.
Please like this
and just show how much you love our fucking boy, KB.
We miss him so much, dude.
There's no yak without KB.
He's part of this forever and always.
KB would have been gone three hours ago.
Oh, my God.
I was making a nice...
He would have disappeared.
He would have been the fuck out of here.
I'm just being honest.
He would have fucking gotten an Uber and not even remembered it.
I'm literally trying to use his name for likes.
Like and subscribe.
Next show is going to be the Tuesday after Labor Day.
And guess what?
Special guest Ronan Satt.
Yeah.
I don't know if they're going to really mesh well.
We'll see how it works.
We're going to do a fantasy draft.
You guys didn't tell me that was the first episode back.
Yeah.
I did not know that. Yeah, what are we doing for the fantasy draft? didn't tell me that was the first episode back. Yeah. I did not know that.
Yeah, what are we doing for the fantasy draft?
I think the fantasy draft for the second episode back.
Oh, but they're going to come out Tuesday.
No, first episode is the Monday.
Oh, Monday's Labor Day.
Tuesday, we should do the fantasy draft.
We're back Tuesday.
Wednesday, we should do data.
They're Tuesday.
I think we said data day Thursday.
SAS is going to be out for data day, so.
Oh, okay.
I can be out for Data Day.
We'll do Fantasy Draft Tuesday
and
Data Day Wednesday.
Love you all.
Alright.
It's the Act. It's the Act. It's the Act. We'll be right back. Folks, that's a wrap on the Yak from the New York studio thank you guys for
the memories
and the opportunities
and
allowing us to be in the position
to make this move
we hope you all
stick with us
and we'll see you after the break
love you guys very much
stay safe this weekend
see you on September 5th
in Chicago
love you guys love you guys bye thanks Stay safe this weekend. See you on September 5th in Chicago.
Love you guys.
Love you guys.
Mwah!
Thanks.