The Yak - Cheah Has to Wear Soccer Cleats for a Week | The Yak 11-4-22
Episode Date: November 4, 2022We paid to see the Lizard House!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstooly...ak
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Hey, Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the act. It's the act.
It's the act.
That's time to talk shop.
The dude with Yankees love is the act.
It's the act.
That was silly.
That was silly as fuck.
Look at us.
Look at us. That shit was fucking wacky as hell.
Oh, I thought that was a Coors Light.
Oh, that would have been sweet.
Back at it again.
Pinkies up on a cold Coors Light.
Where's the Hennessy, guys?
Oh, yeah, let's get the Hennessy going.
Oh, no, I'm taking a break from hundreds and having Hennessy.
In that order.
Too much head.
Can't do it.
I did find a new Hennessy plug, and I found a bigger bottle for only $10 more.
It's about the size of an ATV tire.
Jeez.
Plug?
Oh, it's in Chinatown.
It's this little hallway that only takes cash.
So it's not Hennessy.
It's definitely not Hennessy, but it's brown and in a Hennessy bottle that's shaped like an ATV tire.
What else could you ask for?
Actually, I know what I could ask for.
KB, do you mind just standing up and showing us your ass?
Can you do a spin?
Look at you today.
Look at his hair.
Look at KB's hair.
Look at you.
Whoa.
Oh, my God.
More specifically, the ass.
Oh!
Wait, but can you Yeah yeah yeah
There's not an ounce of fat
Platonically
You look great
I gotta see chat
Yeah
I'm done being humble
I put in so much work
I put in so much work
I feel like if we came at you
With one of those little fat pincher things
There'd be none there'd be none.
No fat.
Is there any? Oh, there's a little.
Above the waist, you're unsqueezable.
Unpinchable.
I think there's a little. There is.
No, I've been much
more body fat. You definitely have been leaner.
I've been ripping the bathhouse
too because they have a scale.
So I'm paying like $50 to weigh myself.
But um...
The gym doesn't have a scale? No.
Planet Fitness does not. They don't believe in
that shit. Oh yeah. Why don't you switch gyms
instead of paying for Planet Fitness? I'm close to.
I mean I can't. The biggest dumbbells
are 75s. That's a wash.
The Smith
machine. That's a wash. Why Smith machine, that's a wash.
Why don't you come over to Temple, bro?
Love you over there.
I could recommend you.
I don't want to be around gym guys, though.
That's not what it's like there at all.
It's going to be a bunch of gay dudes.
Well, those are definitely gym guys.
Gay dudes are at the jackedest men's club.
It's not the jacked gay dudes.
Oh.
It's a lot of dudes that look like me who are trying to get in shape and will never
get in shape oh oh blink i suck so bad at the sauna you go in you ever see like the the russian
like old russian women just laying down in the 210 degree one yeah and they bet you can tell
the highest floor and i'll go in and I'll still have to leave way before them.
And it's just a humbling experience.
I hate feeling woozy.
It's one of the worst feelings
you can feel.
I just feel
I go till failure.
What is the eye in there?
I have no tolerance.
I go from hot to cold.
So I go to the cold plunge
after that
to kind of like shock the body.
Did you know there's
an annual competition?
Yes.
It's like a sauna competition. People die. They don't do it anymore because of the deaths. Did you know there's an annual competition? Yes. I have the sauna.
It's like a sauna competition.
People die.
They don't do it anymore because of the deaths. Oh, really?
I believe so.
Oh, shit.
But it was like, who could stay in the hottest, the longest?
They have the warning on there.
Like, yeah, you could die doing this.
Yeah.
There's supposed to be a time limit, right?
Like, similar to like public hot tubs.
There's no rules at this bathhouse.
I guess that makes sense.
Yeah.
How did you guys pick which bathhouse you go to?
Obviously, you had a gateway guy who took you there for the first time.
Jeff Donahue was the gateway guy for me, but then I realized the bathhouse was in the basement of Kyle's apartment.
Yeah, I didn't know.
And it's world-renowned, kind of.
Kind of.
That's like the spa.
It's called Spa 88, but there's a bunch of photos of very, very's kind of... That's like the spa. It has a bunch of... It's called Spa 88,
but there's a bunch of photos of very, very famous people
that have signed like,
thank you, Spa 88,
but all the handwriting's the same.
So I think I'm not buying it.
And they have one of the maps
where you put the pin
where you're from,
and it's a lot of...
It's fraudulent.
Yes, it is.
One of my favorite maps,
but they're all over
uninhabited places.
I did like an unreleased TikTok of it.
All your TikToks are unreleased.
Yeah.
You did it.
Voice over and everything.
You voice overed?
Explaining why it's my favorite map.
I've been explaining why all the fake ones.
No one's there.
No one's there.
Why is it your favorite map?
I love the pin maps where you see where people are from and they zoom in.
You can even see down to the small town.
But that map is so pinned up that you can't even.
Pinned up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What about the TikTok?
What's your TikTok voice?
It's not TikTok.
It's just a voiceover that I put on videos sometimes.
No, you don't.
What's the voice?
I don't post them.
Put them out. No. Is it just for voice? I don't post them. Put them out.
No.
Is it just for you?
I don't want to see feedback.
Yeah, you're right.
Just do the voice that you do, though.
Is it just your normal voice?
It's a normal voice, yeah.
Okay.
I don't know if you made it like a cool voice or a low voice or a...
It's tough to do your normal voice when you're doing like a voiceover alone.
Oh, yeah.
Everyone puts on a different voice.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Everyone puts on a different voice.
Oh, yeah.
Should we spin the wheel?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why not?
I fucking love the wheel.
Yeah, I'm not sick of it.
I think it gets better with age.
Bro, you guys don't turn on the wheel.
People act like I'm the enemy of the wheel.
Meanwhile, we're doing cleat week.
Get the fuck out of here.
See that?
Everybody's like, oh, Roan hates the wheel.
Dude, Roan is the one that's killing the one.
You did it seven minutes in.
I did it seven minutes in.
I know that that's what we had. There's just some stuff that's just not good.
What is the viewer going to get out of cleat week?
They're going to see the bottom of our shoes have spikes once.
Five times.
Stop bitching, Seth.
I'm not bitching.
I gladly do cleat week.
There's really nothing bad about cleat week.
If anything, it would make me have a better grip on the ground.
A little taller.
Yeah.
It's a little slippery to be in cleat.
It's slippery here.
You got to get the good kind.
You got to get some street cleats.
Let's find out who's doing it.
Eliminator?
Oh, it's just for one person?
Yeah.
Okay.
I like that wrinkle.
Yeah.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
All right, let's see.
Let's find out who's doing it.
Eliminator.
Hey. Why don't we save time and just not. Eliminator. Hey.
Why don't we save time and just not do Eliminator?
Didn't mix my matcha
well enough this morning.
I got matcha powder
in my throat.
Fuck.
It's like the cinnamon challenge
but worse.
It's matcha
and not cinnamon.
I know.
It's got me wired as fuck.
Wheel is just.
Wheel spares you.
Knew I ailed.
How are you feeling today?
Better? No.
Oh really? I feel way better. You feel better now
because you just got hit by the wheel.
This is nuts.
Anybody we talk about?
Anyone want to get talked about next?
Che?
Wait, I thought you said we're not doing elimination.
We're doing...
No, I was just fucking with Ryan.
He said it after the first one.
Fooling his chain.
Guys, I won't lie.
I was kind of hoping we were going to do Hennessy Friday today.
Really?
Yeah.
Woke up this morning looking forward to it.
Can we go grab a bottle?
I don't know.
I've been drinking every day.
Yeah. Yeah. Terribly. I've drank more in the last
week than I have in like the last two years.
The wheel is just, bro.
I went too hard at Whiskey Tavern
last night.
I don't know if it's a sports bar or a gay bar. I can't tell
at all because it's got all the sports paraphernalia.
It plays Toxic
by Britney Spears on loop.
Sounds like a gay bar for sure. There's wings and beer and they've had all the games on
bunch of dudes there
like the bartenders are all mustachioed
shirts unbuttoned
it sounds like it's a gay bar for straight dudes
it's in the middle of Chinatown
and if it's your birthday
they bring out this black dick
that has
it's a sports bar.
I think,
I don't know.
It sounds like a sports bar.
Because I grabbed a dude,
I grabbed like both his ass cheeks.
I was like,
hey,
come here.
Is this a gay bar?
He's like,
nah.
But what kind of pants
was he wearing?
Chaps.
Okay.
That's like a cowboy.
It was a ranch hand.
Yeah.
Athletics.
I don't know if it's a gay bar or not.
I would love your guys' help. I live in the
Garden of Eden of gay.
Yeah.
Like the origin of gay bar.
Yeah, you're right. Original Sin.
Yeah.
I forget the name. Hank took me once.
Stone Wall.
Stone Wall. You live right near there?
On Gay Street. How close do you live to me? I live right near there? It's Gay Street. On Gay Street.
How close do you live to me?
I live right next to you.
One minute walk.
You guys never hang out?
No.
I always expect to see you mobile on the streets, but I never do.
I'm always walking around.
We'll treat.
I've never been to the Stone Wall, but I've been to the... Anyone else who's walking around? I've been to the Duplex.
We know your address.
We know where Sass lives.
What?
I had...
Duplex is nice.
They'll let you go in and pee
even if you're not at the Duplex.
I know.
Duplex is a fun bar.
I need to take you guys
to Whiskey Tavern.
Just a bunch of straight guys
and gals.
Oh, gals.
Doing picklebacks.
Oh, well, I...
Oh, if Kate came.
Have you guys ever been to the...
There's like a lesbian... there's like two lesbian bars in
New York, I think.
I was just saying.
Very few.
I was just saying.
You see gay people everywhere.
They're immersed in our life and our culture in New York City.
They're everywhere.
They kind of outnumber us in some settings.
New York.
I never, I rarely see lesbians.
The lesbian bars are.
They don't have a place.
No, there's like one. They're dying. Rendezvous. I forget why. The lesbian bars are... They don't have a place. No, there's like one.
They're dying.
Rendezvous?
I forget why, but lesbian bars are...
There's only like six.
There's only six.
There's only six in the country, right?
What the fuck is he talking about?
LGBT?
Where are the L's?
They took the L's, dude.
They took all the L's.
It's a real thing.
The gays take over the lesbian bars.
I think they're getting squeezed out hard.
I feel like gay guys get all the attention and the braids over the ladies. I think they're getting squeezed out hard. I feel like gay guys
get all the attention and the braids over the ladies.
I feel like...
The gay guys are faking for the attention
and the lesbians are actually gay.
I've been keeping a keen eye out for lesbians.
I haven't seen one in weeks.
Flannel and Subarus?
I feel like it's got to be deeper than that.
Just a couple.
Two gals holding hands?
Yeah, kissing holding hands.
I haven't seen a lesbian, I think, ever in New York.
I think that they're more prevalent.
Where are they?
I feel like...
Because there has to be the same amount of lesbians.
Lesbians are a similar percentage.
They're broke, though.
That's the problem.
All lesbians are broke.
Why?
Because the gays are taking up all the money, dude.
Right.
The gays are rich because they don't have kids, really, to spend money on.
Yes, and the lesbians both have kids.
What is the lesbian city in America?
What is the lesbian city?
I think that lesbians thrive in the biggest cities.
In probably Mobile, there's probably lesbians.
I think.
I bet you Portland has a lot of lesbians.
Portland probably does.
Austin has a lot of lesbians. Whenever I does. Austin has a lot of lesbians.
Whenever I see a lesbian, I say,
that bitch looks like she's from Portland.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Bloomington.
Palm Springs.
I wouldn't have thought.
Bloomington's got 79,000 lesbians.
Oh, my God.
Jesus Christ.
That's just...
Oh, my God.
Y'all hear about Bloomington?
They got 79k lesbians
Northampton PA?
I don't know if that's what they mean by it
Massachusetts
What's up Fish?
Fish we're not doing Hennessy Friday bro
Thank you
No Hennessy
We're off it
Nice boots
Can you stand on the black square
And do a little spin about
Leather pants
Dress up Friday
Did anyone else join you today?
Rudy?
Not even Rudy
Not even Rudy. Dang.
Not even Rudy?
Oh.
You don't got it?
See, I would think you were a student at FIT across the street if I saw you.
I would think so, too.
Very cool.
All right, grab a mic.
How'd the fit come together?
Let me guess.
Real quick.
I like that shirt.
Good-ass shirt. I bet you that wasn't originally a shirt. This was not like that shirt. Good ass shirt.
I bet you that wasn't originally a shirt.
This was not originally a shirt.
Never seen a shirt with that pattern.
Yeah, my girlfriend made this.
She made this shirt out of a shower curtain.
Okay, yeah.
What?
There we go.
Oh.
Shit.
I like that.
It looks like a shirt.
Because you've never seen the pattern?
That was your telltale sign?
That pattern's never been a shirt.
Because you haven't seen that pattern?
Not because I told him 20 minutes ago, no.
Yeah, what's on legs?
I was sitting on my desk with my headphones on
and just a fucking rattlesnake boot popped up on my armrest.
Whoa!
Happy Friday.
There's a boot in my snake.
What's the, explain to Kyle your pants.
Explain my pants?
You don't have to You got them
What they are
Where'd you get them
Let me guess
Alabama Vintage Shop
No
Vintage Shop in Georgia
Fuck
Pretty close
Yeah
I got these in Georgia
Got the boots in Toronto
And then we made this
Hell yeah
Because it all blends together
I would have guessed
You got it from the same department store.
What's the, what size waist are you?
Wait, wait, let us guess.
28.
I'm going to go 30.
Zass?
28.
I'm going to say 30.
30, 31.
I'm going to say 31.
Now I'm going to go 33, 32.
No, you're not.
Yeah.
Yeah, me too.
I could throw those on right now.
Rock the fuck out of them.
You guys want to do a pants swap?
Yeah, can you do a pants swap?
You're fit with just leather pants on.
That'd be fucking hilarious.
Can we do a pants swap?
Do you want to switch pants?
Not at all.
Yeah.
Not even remotely.
Let's leave it up to the wheel.
Come on.
Come on.
Pants wheel.
Can we?
I'm comfortable in what I'm wearing currently.
Why are you so nervous?
I don't know, because I want to wear them secretly.
Secretly, I want those leather pants on me.
Hoodie and leather pants.
Fish, did you wind up making any headway on that Instagram account?
Yeah.
I talked to Gaz yesterday, and i got all the socials for
barstool x uh instagram twitter tiktok everything so did you start posting not yet um what are you
waiting for i gotta go through submissions i gotta go through i gotta oh dude just start posting dude
i will i will start posting very soon i just gotta get my bearings with the whole thing and
oh no no bearings just start posting okay okay do it just got to get my bearings with the whole thing. No bearings. Just start posting.
Okay.
Okay.
Do it today.
Post today?
One post today.
Yes, do it today.
All right.
Or else you're never going to do it, dude.
It's like fucking folding your laundry.
All right, you're right.
You got to just do that shit right away.
Damn, you're right.
It's true.
All right, do you think should I post something original?
Yeah, do a trick.
Do you have your skateboard?
Not with me, but I do have clips that I could post.
I don't think you should post something original.
No, I think steal.
You should post something gnarly and something that's going to do numbies.
Well, I do have some gnarly stuff that I filmed of other people.
That's false satisfaction because the account will grow and you'll get all that action,
but then it's just a video you plucked from someone else.
No, no, no.
I'm saying I filmed it, not that I took from somebody else.
Don't do what Roan's telling you to do.
Or you're saying do what I want to do.
You might lose some followers
in the beginning, but that's fine.
I think your thing's got to be big watermarks.
Big watermarks
to the point where you can barely even see what's happening.
Like the tongue of an Osiris.
Did you guys see,
can we talk about what the memes,
PMT memes thing with the... I don't think so. That was the hardest I've ever laughed. What is allowed to, can we talk about what the memes, PMT memes thing with the.
I don't think so.
Yeah.
That was the hardest I've ever laughed.
What is it that we can't talk about?
Go ahead.
Take the lead.
I'll chip in.
They like got mad at him for making the captions on the PMT TikToks too big.
And then he posted a TikTok and it was just the caption was the entire screen.
They were just like, try to keep these captions on two lines.
And then one of the latest TikToks on part of my TikTok was entirely a caption.
It was just a whole caption.
We pull up their TikTok.
Who was mad at them?
I think they just made him delete it.
Did they make him delete it?
Yeah.
Who did?
I don't know.
Big Cat and PFT?
No, no, no.
Definitely.
But that's what's hilarious is when someone who's not in charge of the brand makes you delete something.
You've got to delete this.
It was hysterical.
It came from Dave.
You've got to see that.
I wish we could see the actual clip.
I know, TJ.
Yeah, there it is.
God damn, that's funny.
I know.
So, Kyle, what do you think you should do with his account?
Just post pictures of himself doing kickflips? I think you should change the name to your name
and turn it into a personal account.
How many followers does it have?
You've got a head start.
That's a cheat code.
Half a million?
Yeah.
Make that yours. All right, let me get his password. Change it like no one a head start. That's a cheat code. Half a million? Yeah. Make that yours.
All right, let me get his password.
Change it.
No one else can get it.
Barstool Fish X.
Boom.
Post yourself.
You could do rants.
You can do day in the life.
That might be misconstrued, though.
Barstool Fish sounds like a fishing show.
Why?
That's even better.
Barstool Fish X.
X.
X.
That sounds like a porn star name. Oh, man X. X. That sounds like a porn star name.
Oh, man.
So the X game sounds like a porn convention.
I say you change it to your name, delete all the posts, throw a selfie up.
All right.
Arms real far away.
All right.
I'm definitely not going to do that.
All right.
So what are you going to do then?
All right.
I filmed some stuff last weekend that I think would be really cool to go up there, and I'm
going to post that.
Do you think that you would have liked it?
Would you have enjoyed the content
if you were consuming it
and you didn't know who had filmed it?
Yeah, definitely.
All right, then throw it up there.
Tag yourself in it.
Give credit to the creator of the video
who is also you.
Make a little symbiotic relationship
so you can get Kyle's idea together
where your account grows
and you get the bitches.
What's the account?
I missed the whole thing.
It's called BarstoolX.
Oh, we do have.
Oh, I didn't realize that.
Okay.
It used to be Full Send or some shit.
It was Gone Patrol.
Gone Patrol.
It's a different thing,
but they did the same thing.
You have the password?
You have 492,000
followers. Change the profile
pic to you and the name to you.
Stop saying that.
You have the ability to do that.
I think you should do one of those where you look at it
from this view, but six of the posts create
your face. You know what I mean?
Like one big...
Nine of them.
Nine of those. Thank you. Or do like a slideshow
of some gnarly stuff and then just one of you looking good. Yeah. Slipping a six of those. Nine of them. Nine of those, thank you. Or do like a slideshow of some gnarly stuff
and then just one of you looking good.
Yeah.
Looking real.
Slipping a selfie in there.
Yeah.
It would be X.
Yeah.
I guess I just don't want it to be taken away from me.
That would be my biggest fear.
And don't listen to KB
because it'll definitely get taken away from you.
But it's also like if you change the password,
how can it get taken away from you?
That's true.
You're the only knower of the password.
My email, my password.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I guess that would be Gaz's mistake at that point.
Hell yeah.
You're getting Gaz-lighted.
But dude, thank you for coming in.
It looks great.
Yeah, look at my eye.
I look very fly.
How are you going to one-up this?
I got some stuff.
Holy shit.
Holy shit. Holy shit. Alright, fish.
Happy Friday.
I want some of the mic back.
Gotta put the mic back.
Got it.
Here we go. Thank you.
Everywhere.
Oh!
Close up.
Holy shit.
What happened to the movies?
It's like a 30-year low.
This past month was a 30-year low for movies.
I don't think movies are good anymore.
Really, even with Black Adam coming out,
I feel like that would have bumped the numbers.
You'd think.
Bros?
Black Adam and Bros combo is lethal.
That's the one-two punch that AMCs dream about.
Man.
What do you think it is, KB?
Movies used to be the thing.
Yeah, I know.
No, no, get that off.
Get that off.
We're riffing.
You were 14.
Now your life was movies, like watching movies.
I know.
Don't make movies for young teens, except for superhero shit.
Yeah, you're right.
I loved going to the theater, watching Accepted,
watching The Perfect Score.
It was all about, yeah, those were both about getting into college, I guess.
Yeah, which was a sweet time, but they don't make movies for that.
Why isn't Hollywood getting guys like Drewski and them to make a little comedy? I don't make movies for why isn't hollywood getting guys like uh drewski and them to make a little
comedy i don't know i don't know if they could fucking why would he though the the window for
failure is so huge for shit like that yeah you gotta start as a bit player or whatever but i
think that weren't they gonna do drewski and jack harlow and a new like white man can't jump or
some shit like oh yeah i'm saying little kids would watch that, right?
I don't know.
But people just love remakes.
I heard they're remaking
The Revenant.
Which fucking blew my mind.
Just like,
didn't it just come out?
They're remaking The Revenant
with Drewski.
Why would they remake
The Revenant?
I guess Drewski,
they wanted like
black representation.
Everything's getting a spin-off too like i felt like wandavision was a spin-off of the marvel and now there's a character from there that's getting her own show aubrey plaza what
the fuck is wandavision it's wanda and vision their show what is that? Multimedia is crazy.
Tell me about it.
What do they even mean by multimedia?
Audio and visual?
What are they saying?
Let's break that down.
Get the time?
Yeah.
Nothing but time.
I'll grab a bottle of Hennessy.
We'll break down multimedia.
What's up, Che?
We have to finish this wheel
no we don't
no we don't
riffing
we'll never finish it
we're not going anywhere
why don't we just
finish what wheel?
cleat week
cleat week
I think we just shouldn't
I just don't think
we should finish it
through the last two
dangerous for what?
me and Kate
why don't you just be a man
and take it for her?
yeah
yeah dude step up step up dude't you just be a man and take it for her? Yeah. Yeah, dude.
Step up.
Step up, dude.
Step up and be his dad.
Please.
You have some fun with it.
So what is this?
You just wear cleats into the office for a week?
Yeah, thank you.
I want it on the record that I think we should finish it,
and then I actually think we should do more wheels.
Well, I think, yeah,
I had a pants switch wheel
like ready to go
and you said that you weren't,
you didn't think that shit was just
and that kind of makes me want
to just quit the wheel altogether.
I would be down to speed.
We're not all in.
I like the wheel
and I think it's good for some stunts
and I think we just got to
brainstorm some new shit.
Yeah, we're going to have to
replace cleat week
with something else to put on there.
What about like wave, Wave Pool?
I like Wave Pool.
We turn this room into a wave pool.
We fill up this room.
That would be awesome.
Fill it with water.
Yeah, we...
The shape of water this room
and just fill it from head to toe with water.
I don't know.
Maybe you could pull that off.
You beat that idea.
Remember in The Shape of Water
when that, like, sea dragon, like, got with that woman? He in The Shape of Water when that sea dragon
got with that woman?
He fucks her.
And you see his full penis bloom.
Really?
Is it hot?
Is that a Guillermo del Toro?
Yes, and it's hot as fuck.
I'm going to Google that.
Is it hot?
If you want to talk about cum gutters...
Wait, did that come out at the same time as the lighthouse where you saw a mermaid pussy?
Yeah.
And it's big.
It's a fat mermaid pussy.
It's like long.
It's a long pussy.
Yeah, I think this clearly beats that.
Unpleasant to the eyes.
This can't be what?
What?
No, it is.
Is it meant to be like sensual or scary?
Sensual.
Sensual.
It's like it's meant to allure you into what could be if you get into something new.
You can buy, from a sex toy shop, you can buy that shape of water penis.
Well, yeah, there's dragondildo.com where you can get all kinds of mythical beasts.
Bulbous dildos.
That's his penis?
No, that's not what it looked like in the movie.
No, it's not?
That's not what it looked like in the movie.
Oh, it's like, oh.
It's way smoother and more flowery. It's not what it looked like in the movie. Oh, it's like, oh. It's way smoother and like more flowery.
It doesn't look like that at all.
Huh.
Okay.
Do they fuck underwater?
I think it's in the shower maybe.
So kind of?
Well, and like
in the shower.
This one,
did this win best picture?
Or no, this one
and then was this one
that got rescinded from?
No, that was La La Land. Hey, let me see. Just like get in the shower? That was La La Land.
Let me see.
Just like them in the shower.
How did he get in the shower?
I don't know.
There's this deaf broad, right?
There's this fucking deaf broad in the movie
and she gets naked, dude.
Bam.
There's nothing better than a naked deaf broad.
I heard that, bro. That's nothing better than a naked deaf broad. I know.
I heard that, bro.
That's fucking sensual.
Super sensual.
And fucked by a lizard penis.
Yeah.
Yeah, but she understands because she's been made to feel like an outsider her whole life.
As a deaf broad.
Why don't we make a coming-of-age movie?
What would it be about?
You?
No.
Sass. Okay. I be about? You? No. Sass.
Okay.
I'm going to be dead honest.
I don't know what coming of age even means.
Becoming a man.
It's just like growing up.
Yeah.
So what is that?
Like right around the end of high school kind of thing.
That's what that means?
Boys become men.
Typically a rom-com.
But it's strictly.
They're trying to lose their virginity.
Just. Or at least some rom.
Oh, 8th grade.
Lady Bird.
Girls, too?
Oh, yeah.
That's what I thought.
Look at that.
Those are all...
Breakfast Club.
Ethan Hart.
Black Phone.
That's a good one.
I don't know if Love and Monsters was coming of age.
Juno.
Juno's a great one.
Oh, Almost Famous.
That movie's so good.
What was the most recent
Coming of Age movie?
Will Hunting
Spider-Man
Black Phone's on there
Black Phone's a horror movie
Isn't it?
Yeah I know
Now what?
I didn't
Did you see that movie Che?
Black Phone yeah
Is it good?
Uh
It's okay
As a parent it's terrifying
It's a little weird that
Ethan Hawke is playing the bad guy, right?
Why?
I don't know.
Just because Sinister plays the good guy.
I didn't know that.
Or movies.
He's in Sinister, right?
I don't watch scary movies.
Why would you want to scare yourself?
Sinister is a good-ass movie.
Am I wrong, Che?
Is he in Sinister?
I don't know what sinister
is he's in training day he's in star wars episode one what is ethan hawk in star wars episode one
he's uh not qui-gon jinn the other guy yeah he's No, he's not. No, he's the other guy. You think he's Obi-Wan Kenobi?
No, he's not.
Yeah, I think so. No, he's not.
Nick would know, Che.
Stop acting like you know for a fact.
Oh, Ewan McGregor, yeah.
I get those two confused.
I was about to flip a lid.
He's in a lot of movies.
He's a training day guy, right?
Oh, he's in, what's it called?
He's in Boy's World, right?
Boyhood.
Or Boy's Boyhood?
He's in Boyhood.
That's a coming of age.
He's in Boyhood 1.
He's in Training Day. His two most famous coming of age movies. He was Boyhood? He's in Boyhood. That's a coming of age. He's in Training Day.
His two most famous coming of age movies.
He was in Boys in the Hood?
Boyhood.
Boyhood and Black Phone.
See, I would never watch Boyhood.
It's a long, it's like a three hour movie.
That name itself.
Didn't they film it for like 13 years?
Oh, that's that one.
Get over yourself.
Just get different actors.
It's a pretty good movie.
I liked it.
Right, but would it have been worth the first? We pretty good movie I liked it Would it have been worse?
Just to watch it once
It actually would have made it better
Because the kids
Suck as actors when they grow up
They're not bad at actors when they're young
Because they're as good as a young actor
Like a child actor can be
But then they get older and they get really bad
I think they were panicking
Like oh this kid sucks.
Probably, yeah.
Or seven years.
But mostly the sister is what I'm thinking of.
She was bad at acting, noticeably.
And that's coming from a guy who's good at acting?
No, but it was just awkward.
No, you are.
It was awkward.
Just take a compliment, bro.
I'm not.
I'm actually very bad at it.
Everybody in Harry Potter, all the kids.
You think? Even Daniel Radcliffe wasn't good. No, actually bad at it. Everybody in Harry Potter, all the kids. You think?
Even Daniel Radcliffe
wasn't good.
No, really?
No, I don't think
any of the Harry Potter
main three were good.
At what point?
I think they got better
as it went.
No, I think
they were all fine.
I mean, Emma Watson
is a phenomenal actress.
I think she's horrible.
I think she's incredible.
No way.
As an actress? Bad. I don't know how to look out for that, I guess. I think she was the. I think she's incredible. No way. As an actress?
Bad.
I don't know how to look out for that, I guess.
I think she was the worst.
Really?
Yeah.
Have you not seen Equus?
She just looks like a good actress.
Flawless.
His penis is in that, right?
Yeah, yeah.
I haven't seen it.
Oh, yeah.
Next to a horse, right?
He runs around stage with his penis.
But is there an actual horse on stage?
I think so, yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe he fucked it.
I think that's what the movie's about, him fucking a horse.
I heard the play.
Oh, really?
I think so.
What is this?
Equus.
It's a Daniel Radcliffe play.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
He wanted to do a play because he was worried about being pigeonholed as Harry Potter as an actor.
Yeah.
Yeah, that sucks.
I mean, it's impossible to look at him and not think Harry Potter.
Anytime he's in something, I'm like, oh, that's Harry Potter.
Was it Robert Pattinson?
He was Cedric Diggory.
Yeah.
That's a good actor.
Is he really?
Yeah.
He's hot.
Yep.
It's weird for you to like.
It is weird.
I think Daniel Radcliffe has kind of separated himself as a respectful actor, though.
Yeah.
Despite all things considered.
Are you respectful?
I mean, I've heard, like, it's like, apparently it is hard for people that are in very famous movies or shows to get cast in something else.
Like, it's hard for them.
Like, you never see, like, Dwight from The Office.
Yeah, you're right.
He's in some stuff, but it's like, you're always going to think Dwight if you see him.
Yeah, even, like, stuff he did before The Office.
Juno.
He's a thousand corpses.
He gets turned into a mermaid in that movie.
Oh, really?
I like the Twilight guy, Edward Pattinson.
Robert Pattinson?
Yeah.
He's the guy you were just talking about being hot.
Oh, yeah.
You just brought him up.
How'd you do that?
Wait, wait, wait.
How'd you do that?
You set his name yourself.
How the hell did that happen?
You just forgot about it?
I don't know.
What the?
I heard.
Also, Robert Pattinson, he's in The Lighthouse too, right?
Yeah, he's awesome.
He's awesome.
He's in some stuff.
He's a good actor.
I feel like it took him a while.
I feel like he was stuck for a long time in those kind of roles.
I'm going to do Harrison Ford, though.
Indiana Jones.
Yeah.
He's in Solo.
Or isn't that, that's like what the whole, that's what Once Upon
a Time in Hollywood is all about. Like he's
playing the bad guy in all of these movies.
Or it's not about that, but that's like part of it.
I haven't seen it. Oh, he's playing the bad, he's playing like a
bad guy in all these movies and they're like, you're gonna
have to stop doing this because you're only gonna get
cast as the bad guy.
I only watch Shoot Em Up or Night's Tale.
Those are the two movies in my world.
I haven't been watching a lot of movies.
I gotta get back on that.
Yeah, it actually is awesome.
It's good to not think for like three hours.
They already did make a bunch of good ones.
So even if they're not making good ones now,
it's cool.
You already did.
Yeah.
You did that.
Hollywood already did that.
Molly's Game was the best movie
I've seen probably this year
Have you guys seen that?
It's a poker movie
Poker Broad
Jessica Chastain
I'm sold
That movie's really good
Movies
Sometimes I just can't help myself
TJ What? Your team is nice movies sometimes I just can't help myself TJ
what
your team is
nice
at the dozen
I just watched it
thanks
I was actually surprised
at how good we did
all of you
Blaze is a killer
yeah
I was really sick
during that game too
I don't know if that
affects your
ability to recall
I probably would've
got Rolos
had I
a healthy mind
would've gotten Rolos
the cone thing was confusing I guess I probably would have got Rolos had I had proper brain function.
The cone thing was confusing, I guess.
What was the cone thing?
The question described Rolos as truncated cone-shaped.
I wouldn't call them cones.
It's cup-shaped.
Yeah, it's not it had to have been. I wouldn't call them cones. It's a cup. Cup-shaped. Yeah.
Yeah.
It's not really truncated.
It is.
I don't know.
Using the word truncated is a little bit for trivia questions, you know.
We are, tickets are still on sale for New York.
Mm-hmm.
I think we're competing in it.
Sass is going to be there.
He's going to be off the Delta 9. Yeah says he's going to be off the Delta 9.
Yeah, I'm going to be off the Delta 9s.
Sass is going to eat a whole Willy Wonka bar of Delta 9.
Shay, judging from the prep sheet,
it seems like you definitely wanted us to ask about your daylight savings story.
Brandon's photo in that looks like he was the absent kid in the yearbook
and he had to take it at home against the wall.
Why is everybody else... He was very uplit. He the yearbook, and he had to take it at home against the wall. Was everybody else?
He was very uplit.
He's the only one uplit.
He was a good pick at home.
You think so?
I think his hair looks good in that.
Why does Brandon struggle so much with his hair?
He has normal hair.
I know.
I walk past a barber shop that I might go to.
It's $120.
They'll map out your entire skull, and you get to keep your skull map when you're done.
They promise you the perfect haircut for your skull shape.
What do you mean map out a skull?
How do they map it out?
It's me.
The geniuses in Chinatown.
That's what cartographers are doing these days?
Why are you in Chinatown?
You don't live in Chinatown.
I feel like you're there a lot.
I'm there all the time.
Yeah, dude. You know nothing about me? I do, but you're always in Chinatown. I feel like you're there a lot. I'm there all the time. Yeah, dude.
You know nothing about me?
I do, but you're always in Chinatown.
I love the parks there.
There's so much shit going on. It's underrated.
There's always an old Asian guy walking with his hands behind his back at a park in Chinatown.
Anywhere you look, they got their hands behind their back.
Yeah, dude.
Am I lying, Jay?
No, this is how a lot of older Asian men walk. Why? It's probably good for your posture. Yeah, dude. Am I lying? Am I lying, Jay? No. This is how a lot of older Asian men walk.
Why? It's probably good for
your posture. You do that. Pulls your
shoulders back.
Walking with their hands clasped behind their back.
Or like a 78-year-old guy
learning to play basketball.
You know who also walks like that is
Morpheus in The Matrix.
Yo! Do you think he was low-key
Asian? Yeah, definitely.
Or maybe he just liked Asian broads.
Lawrence Fishburne.
Like Owen?
Just kidding.
No, but probably.
Do you think we could find a picture of Lawrence Fishburne with an Asian broad?
Definitely.
Yes.
Yes.
Definitely.
Let's find one.
All right, yeah, let's do it.
And if we can't find it
we'll have to go to that
AI thing
we'll have to
we'll have to fish burn
with an Asian broad
actually let's do that first
let's see if we can
match it up
but it definitely exists though
fish burns
with the way he walks
with his gait
okay that's Keanu Reeves
but
I can see how
yeah I can see how they'd think that.
Oh, what is the AI thing you're talking about?
You enter that thing in the AI and it recreates it.
It, like, creates the image.
We did it here before.
We did Dave Portnoy with a gun, right?
Yeah.
Hmm.
Yeah, Chinatown's dope.
Yes, come with me. Put me on to matt ryan what's what's the deal ron bro he's a silky shooter he used to work i know i saw the door dash shit i think he also used to
work at a graveyard that was another and i don't know if something got lost in translation he was
working the graveyard shift on uh door dash but i think he might actually worked in a graveyard but i mean
he's best best shooter on the team and a team that needs shooting he's seeing minutes at the
end of the game which is gonna piss russ off but but he's a fucking pat had to calm him down a
little bit ryan or russ ryan yeah well he just he thought he won the game yeah what i mean like
he's running around.
He's like, bah, bah, bah, calm down.
He can't.
Exactly.
He had to do a quick selly with that.
Yeah, just like a little fist bump,
but it was also the biggest moment of his life probably to date.
It's hard to.
And, dude, how about this?
That play that they ran was, it's called Hammer Set.
It's hammer action.
It's like a pretty popular action that they ran,
and it's named after
darvin ham who's their coach so i think it was greg pop no no george carl was his coach
in milwaukee and they had that play called the hammer set and then darvin ham called the play
that was named after him and that's how the lakers tied that game. Haven't seen that anywhere. No one's talked about that.
That's pretty cool.
He's been nice.
Darvin Ham?
No, Matt Ryan.
No, he hasn't been nice.
He had a Jeremy Lin-type deal.
He is nice.
Yeah, and he's a shooter, so he just has to basically stand in the corner,
and his usage can be low because all these other players are going to
dominate the ball, like LeBron, Wes, AD, and he can just kind of stand there, get some gravity on the defense, you know,
take away from double teams.
Sasa, Pat Bev brought you up on the, oh my God.
Yeah, there they are.
Why did they cut their heads off?
I feel like you could have just used a picture of Lawrence Fishburne.
I don't like that.
That ain't Fishburne.
Is that Fishburne in that tunic?
It's a tunic.
It's a smock.
Chernobyl.
This dude is smocking.
Why is every shirt a smock?
I think, is that fishburne style
is he smocked out maybe that's why i think he likes asian broads
that's probably the most normal looking one
tyler told me about the pat bev thing he said that he said who's this he said who's that
is the kid with the skinny wrists and the dull face. Is this real?
The wrist might be the least common body part to identify or describe something. Also, my wrists are never showing.
There is no more identifying body part or less than a wrist.
What does dull face mean?
Name one body part.
Knuckles, maybe?
No, because some people have tacks and knuckles.
Backs of the knees, maybe?
Everyone's wrist is generally the same.
Yeah. I feel like you could have used
a default Nintendo Mii when you
were making your character.
Did you change anything?
I always went with the short fat.
Doll?
Dull.
What does that mean?
I can see that.
You don't have glasses or a mole or facial hair.
I think he meant more that when you deadpan.
You're not smiling or expressive.
You do a lot of dull deadpanning or whatever.
You're not overly expressive.
But dull is a funny word to use.
Skinny wrists and dull faces.
Skinny wrists?
How did that come up?
What does he look like?
He was the guy with the skinny wrists.
It was at like a pause.
They were switching the SD card, and he brought it up out of nowhere.
He was like, who's that other dude that you post shit with that has skinny wrists and a dull face?
I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Save this for the show.
I was like, ask that question again.
Oh, shit.
That's hilarious.
No, that's the boy.
That's the boy.
That's hilarious. That's the boy. That's family.
No, I told him that since you haven't watched a ton of basketball,
if you get a little bit of attention from him or the Lakers,
you'll be a fan for life.
So I think that that's completely changed everything.
Yeah.
Now, if another team gives you attention, you'll be fans of both teams for life.
Exactly.
Like splitting a horcrux.
Yeah, I guess it is.
I like to make them fight over me.
Yeah, you're like a sexy, sassy ex-bitch.
For sure.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
You're an ex-woman.
What do you think about the Phillies, Rowan?
What are we thinking going into this Saturday game?
Where's the confidence at?
Oh, 10 out of 10.
Yeah?
I'm bringing Tico down to Houston.
We're going to watch the game together.
God did.
Wait, are you going?
No.
I'm going to the gambling competition in Lake Charleston.
Oh, you're going with Mincy?
Yes.
Mincy's coming with me, but...
Uh-uh.
That's not how that works.
Well, I mean, look at his tweet.
He's coming with me. He's the king of the South. I's not how that works. Well, I mean, look at his tweet. He's coming with me.
He's the king of the south.
I know what time it is.
He said he's going to show me around.
He said that he's had a possum on a spit for a week
that he's slow roasting for me once I get down Louisiana.
He's going to give you the tail.
Is that the best part?
It's a term of endearment, really.
It's like a sign of you're bonded forever.
So do I eat that or save it?
I think you nibble.
I wouldn't eat it.
Like a cow tail?
Or are you just fucking a long...
Also, ox tail.
What is ox tail?
Because I don't think it's the tail.
Is it the tail bone?
Or is it an actual protruded tail of the ox?
It's the tail.
So it's the actual tail of the ox, and they chop
it with one of those. There can't be much
meat on that thing. Yeah, it's very bony.
It's very bony, it's very tough.
You stew it, usually.
So when you get ox tail stew,
is there bones in it?
So you can take the...
If you slow cook the meat for long enough,
it's like pulled pork. But that looks like a lot of meat.
That looks like a lot of meat for a tail.
Yeah.
I mean, the tails are thick.
Cows' tails are...
So, like, they used to use them as, like, whips in colonial times for schools and stuff like that.
So, they're pretty thick.
Woo!
Gross.
Yeah.
What?
Get whacked.
Ew!
That's what it looks like.
Ew, bro!
So, you chop it up
That looks good though
That does look good
Cauliflower pieces
Zaha
Any updates?
Are you sure?
Uh no
I mean nothing
Keep it quiet
Yeah so I'm trying to
It's
It's quietening down
Let the storm blow over
Yeah
And then as soon as it does
Get blown over
Talked about it
Would not want to be there She's away She's away for the weekend I would and blow over. Yeah. And then as soon as it does, get blown over. We talked about it.
Would not want to be there.
She's away for the weekend. I would.
Oh, my God.
That return.
Dude, just do a...
After the first one,
just do a confessional.
Don't say what it's about,
but we'll be able to see
by the relaxation on your face.
Or just recreate that picture of Frank.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Drop that on Twitter with no caption.
Yep.
We'll know.
The real ones will know.
The listeners, the act listeners will know.
All right.
All right.
All right.
What actor do you guys think has the best laugh of all time?
Nobody say Rogan.
God, I'm not saying Rogan.
I know who my answer is.
Should I say mine or should I let you guys?
I like when funny black people break themselves.
Like Lil Rel.
He'll always be like,
I don't know him, but yeah.
You don't know Lil Rel Howard?
When they truly go off and break.
My favorite is Brad Pitt's,
I don't know if I know his laugh.
I don't know his laugh.
Fight Club, when he's
getting the ship, he keeps getting punched in the face.
He's like, ah!
Amazing.
I probably can't pull it up.
Did you see that? It was like an Australian talk show
where they gathered all the people with the most
unique laughs, and then they all
start laughing. Did anyone see that?
Can we pull up
the most unique laugh?
Did the combination
create just
silence
it was the weird
no
like yeah
it all canceled
each other out
but uh
it does
it did make me laugh
watching it did make me laugh
I think too
I think it's Brad Pitt
in Ocean's Eleven
or something like that
he's always eating
or drinking
yeah we did
is that here
we were talking about that
he takes it on to set
I think
oh yeah or drinking such a thing? Yeah, we did. Is that it? We were talking about that? She takes it on to set, I think.
Wait, what was that?
Was that a laugh?
That's bad.
Like someone's sliding their chair out.
Okay.
It's getting funny now.
It got me.
That's all right. Damn, it sounds like a...
I'm sorry.
An old destiny.
That was unbearable for a little bit.
That was not great.
Oh, Kate.
Don't apologize for what makes you laugh.
Don't.
Unless you're sass.
In which case, it's probably
the untimely shooting of an unarmed man.
Here goes Doug's rich ass.
Have you seen
Laugh Therapy?
Where you all have to lay
in a circle
with your heads
on each other's bellies?
Before Nathan For You
was on the show,
it was like his
Nadian show.
He went to Laugh Therapy,
I think.
Yeah, that's like a real thing.
You all have to lay in a circle
with your heads
on each other's bellies
and it becomes like
impossible not to laugh,
I guess. Because once your head's bouncing on each other's bellies, and it becomes impossible not to laugh, I guess.
Because once your head's bouncing on someone else's laugh, it makes you laugh.
Should we try it?
Should we?
Put laugh circle on the wheel.
I don't want my head hitting Kyle's stomach.
But yeah, let's put it on the wheel, though, in place of cleats.
Laugh circle?
Yeah.
I don't know what you would call it. The new wheel eventually is made.
Let's eat a slug.
Whoever
goes to Le Bernardin should be having
a slug. I just saw a video
of this kid from Australia
ate a slug. His friends dared him
and then it had a parasite
in it and he went to a coma,
came out completely paralyzed.
Let's put that on the show.
Still fully functioning brain.
Are you serious?
Yeah, then he died seven years later.
So don't eat bugs.
Why did you use bugs?
Oh, bugs, yeah.
Or like roadkill.
Because that's something I would probably do for a dare.
Eat a slug.
You eat a live slug?
I mean, they sell them at restaurants.
They do?
Es Cargo.
Es Cargo.
It's like a French...
Isn't that snails?
Yeah.
Snails are slugs.
Snails are slugs, right?
They're a big difference.
Is it a big difference?
I think there's a difference.
There's no shells.
Slugs don't have shells.
Yeah.
Snails have shells.
Sounds pretty similar.
There's also a kid that chugged soy sauce and went into a coma, right?
What?
He chugged an entire bottle of soy sauce?
Why?
So much sodium or something?
Probably, I think.
Maybe that was a wives' tale.
Huh.
How wives be.
Yeah, wives are always spreading false tales.
Old-ass wives.
Yelling everywhere.
Wait, are the wives old, or is the tale old?
Have you ever had a wives' tale soup?
Sounds delicious.
Yeah, what is that made of?
Wives weren't old until the 60s.
What do you mean?
They were dying early?
They didn't live long until the 60s?
Look up the soy sauce kid.
I don't know if that was true or not.
What is the best seasoned food thing about autumn?
From the prep sheet.
What's the best seasoned food thing about autumn? From the prep sheet. What's the best seasoned food thing about autumn?
That's a good question.
Pumpkin spice latte, pumpkin flavored beer, Halloween candy, Thanksgiving food, hot or cold apple cider.
I'd say soups.
They're all pretty good.
I'm big on soup.
I had a soup last night.
I had a chicken dumpling soup the other day.
He survived.
I got a bowl of soup at Whiskey Tavern in Chinatown yesterday.
Love a good soup.
How long were you in Chinatown for yesterday, Nick?
All day.
Damn.
Is Whiskey Tavern in Chinatown, is it patronized by more Chinese folk?
I didn't see a single Chinese person in there.
Chinatown is getting overtaken.
Much like the old, like the Chinese overtook
Middle Italy.
So I was wrong.
What happened to him?
I can't read.
What's that say?
Suicide.
Suicide by soy sauce?
It's not unknown?
What kind of?
You can't type that out.
You can't type that.
That's a little too funny.
Don't word it like that.
It just sounds like a dare at a...
Don't say suicide by soy sauce.
Soyicide.
How did he go?
Soyicide.
Damn.
Damn.
I'm scared of Walt there.
I know.
Chinatown's dope, though.
I invited you. When? Before the show started.
You said, let's go out for a dinner, just me and you. Yeah, it's me and you.
My treat. Chinatown? Can we get a big fish to split?
Yeah. I'd love a big bass. Ooh, you know what I love down there?
Pat and I used to go to a place that did the soup dumplings. Oh, yeah. Where it's like a giant gusher
of soup, basically. I love watching the white folk not place that did the soup dumplings. Oh, yeah. Where it's like a giant gusher of soup, basically.
I love watching the white folk not know how to eat soup dumplings,
always burn in their mouth.
I laugh.
I do it in one bite.
Well, how do you do it?
You've got to do a little bite to let out the heat,
and then you eat the rest of the dumpling.
Oh, I've been fucking up then.
You puncture it with a syringe. I put the whole thing.
Sip it out.
The whole thing?
I was popping the whole thing.
Your white ass.
Yeah, it was off my turf.
What the fuck? Delicious. What's that other shit they have in Chinatown? I took a picture of it the whole thing. Your white ass. Stay off my turf. What the fuck?
Delicious though.
What's that other shit they have in Chinatown?
I took a picture of it the other day.
It had me curious as I was going through Chinatown.
Let me find this picture.
They've really, really upped their fake Rolexes too.
I was with Maresh.
He got one for $160.
It looks phenomenal.
Where at?
On Canal?
Yeah, and it's automatic now.
On the street or in a shop?
It's on the street.
Really?
Yeah, it swoops now.
It doesn't tick.
Did he shop around, or did he just go to the first place that he saw that?
I know.
We shopped around looking for it.
They do automatics there now.
Crazy.
Automatic weapons?
Automatic watches.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Yeah, both.
Automatic with a switch, I heard.
Damn.
Fun button.
That's what we call that.
Switch is a mandatory minimum, brother.
Sure you want to talk about having a switch?
That's a mandatory minimum of 10 years.
Unless it's a binary switch.
It's definitely more than that, right?
Mandatory minimum of five years.
I feel like you always hear about people getting 25 years for automatic.
What is a hot pot?
Legal automatic. A hot pot is just like, it's exactly that, right?
You cook your stuff in the hot pot.
So it's a broil?
Like a crock pot?
It says hot pot.
You get raw beef, very thin cut, and you pick it up and put it in the hot pot.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I saw a video of that the other day.
Is that Chinese?
Damn.
Prop or Japanese?
Da Long Yi.
Sounds Chinese.
Yeah, it does.
Well, it depends on how you say it.
You're right.
What do you mean?
Look at that.
Garlic in the soy.
Hot pot?
That's hot pot?
Yeah.
What is that, bulgogi?
It looks like bulgogi.
Sprouts.
Those will be tough on the tummy.
Wow.
That's a pretty good rating. And it's consistent between different types of
meat. Their lamb is great. Their pork
is great. Their beef is great. There's just
like a clip of her breaking down crying in the middle.
No hate to those who
love chicken. I love chicken as well.
Fuck, I gotta go to a hot pot.
Me and you, my man.
Nobody else. Let's go to Da Long Yi.
I'll go, but I won't
sit with you guys. That's fine.
Free country.
I'll sit at the bar.
Yeah, you will.
I don't think there is a bar.
Not at Da Long Yi.
Oh, there will be.
No, there's not.
They'll find one for me.
It's on the second floor.
What does that have to do with it?
They're not going to have a bar up on the second floor.
Why not?
I don't think you can in New York City.
Yeah, it's against the law.
Really?
Have you ever been to a bar on the second floor?
And don't say Da Longyi in chinatown but you couldn't let's say dalongyi yes you don't say it right japanese has more syllables like suzuki yamaha and chinese has one syllable they go
way deeper.
Japanese go way deeper.
Exactly.
That's what I meant when I said it could go, you said it, Chinese.
Well, it's in Chinatown.
It's not in Little Japan.
Said the word and you said it. Little Italy is all Albanians, brother.
Little Italy is all Chinese.
The one in the Bronx is bigger than the one in Manhattan.
But there are still some of the, you go on a mob tour of Little Italy,
and there's still all the places you get your cannoli.
Those are Albanians you're buying from.
They're acting.
Yeah, they're acting.
And they all wear, like, fur coats and try and get you into their little restaurants.
Come on in.
Free wine.
Free wine if you eat here.
I'm like, yeah, I do it all the time.
Yeah. I long for one of those free wine dinners where the conversation's
flowing. Good God. Red tablecloth.
Yeah. The checkered.
You got your hot pot.
You're fucking... You should do
a fusion, a Chinese-Italian
fusion restaurant.
I bet it exists. Like rice with marinara.
I bet it exists. I mean, Marco with marinara. I bet it exists.
I mean, Marco Polo,
that's his whole dip.
Damn, you're right.
The same shit, dude.
That's what we'd call it.
Marco Polo's?
Yeah.
Shit.
That's gas.
That sounds like gas.
That's gas.
Ash, what'd you do last night?
I just laid in bed.
Watched the Phillies.
On what?
My laptop.
Really?
Yeah. Fubo. Fubu?ies. On what? My laptop. Really? Yeah.
Fubo.
Fubu?
Fubo?
You got Fubo?
Or did you have your laptop on your person?
Over your wiener?
Off on my penis, yes.
Yeah.
Of course.
You were sitting up?
No, I was laying down.
I felt very sick last night.
Tummy?
No.
Throat hurt.
Up in the head?
Very bad.
I had to buy some cough drops but i feel good today so it's
good yeah damn i wonder what the next pandemic's gonna be i know a lot of people on the philly
stream last night were asking what was in the bag i said we can't obviously we can't spend about 75
percent of the chat today so yeah what's in the bag say though i know not our place even in the
office i almost thought about it and i was like, no. That's not for me to tell.
When does it come out?
The thing that that's featured in?
Don't say it.
Don't say it.
It was a Frank the Tank
or someone's dozen jersey.
Yeah.
That's what it was.
It was nothing. It was really nothing.
The weird part was that it was dropped off in a man wearing...
The thing is, you did that whole mystery box thing early in your tenure
and just running it back.
I saw the power it yields.
Yeah, it was just a dozen jersey that someone...
Jeff had to get customized.
It was dropped off by a Spartan warrior.
We cannot explain that.
It was just truly.
You guys have a new show with PFC.
Yeah, Planet Football.
Very funny.
Thanks, man.
Very well written.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
Is that coming out once a week?
Yeah, it'll be out once a week.
That was a Quigs joint.
Quigs edited it?
Edited it?
Can anyone else say edited it?
Say it like a gun.
Edited it?
Edited it?
Edited it?
It's fun to say.
Edited it?
Edited it?
Edited it?
Edited it?
Edited it?
Edited it?
Edited it?
Damn. Let me get a crack at editing one of those. Please. Edited it.
Damn.
Let me get a crack at editing one of those.
Please.
Why don't you be in it?
No.
Hell, take Kyle's spot.
There's no way you would... I don't think you...
Have you ever edited anything?
It's hard to say no.
Have you ever edited anything?
Why do you automatically not believe in me?
I don't believe with you in editing.
I think you're very good at shooting things.
But I can't edit it?
No, I don't think you can.
Why?
I just don't see you being able to do that.
You mean you don't even have a laptop?
Yeah.
Shit.
I have two.
Two?
Yeah.
What for editing?
You also steal tech from the office, right?
Yeah.
And then you lost it.
It's a little safety net.
Oh, yeah.
It's just easier to sell.
Get some programs.
Adobe Premiere isn't free.
Damn right.
You know, Seth?
It is in the office.
Right, in the office.
But it's not free outside of here.
But we get it for free.
Exactly.
That's my point.
I take the shit and i sell it oh okay
i take adobe premiere to chinatown and sell a bootleg with the rollies and the fucking
birkin bags you couldn't even tell the rollies are fake anymore no they don't sell birkin bags
on canal hell no even if they they emboss the bezel now and it's sent oh yeah and they have
the boxes too like they have everything you could
give it as a gift yeah give it as a gift to your old fucking wife stepdad or whatever
what are you guys doing this weekend let's talk weekend plans okay sass i like where this is going
what are you guys doing got a flight tomorrow morning yeah we gotta go to houston
oh really for a man on the street i'm flying to houston tomorrow morning. Yeah, we've got to go to Houston. Oh, really? For a man on the street?
I'm flying to Houston tomorrow morning.
What time is your guys' flight?
Are you actually?
Yeah, I didn't book mine yet.
We haven't gotten an email for ours yet.
Should we fly together?
Yeah.
Oh, I'd love that.
So are you guys going for a man on the street?
Yeah.
You just said you weren't going.
I am going.
Oh, he's driving to Baton Rouge from there?
I'm flying to Houston and driving to Lake Charles.
So we're not doing anything, Rowan, for Philly?
I'd imagine.
Is someone else going?
No.
Well, no one's going to.
They can't win tomorrow.
So maybe I'll go on Sunday.
Oh, I see.
I hope you do.
I'm rooting for you.
And we'll just have a nice little vlog to put out.
Y'all are vlogging it?
Who's shooting it?
Oh. Who do shooting it? Oh.
Who do you think?
Owen.
No.
Fasuli.
Yeah.
Yep.
Yep.
Tyler's flying down
tomorrow morning, too.
Is he?
Yeah, because he's going
to Lake Charles.
Holy shit.
You want to come?
I'm going to Houston.
You probably have spots.
Yeah, I do.
That sucks.
I actually would like to go.
Yeah, you're kind of a slave to...
Why don't we do men on the street, but it's way more of us than there are of them?
Like eight of us.
Yeah, well, isn't that...
Yeah.
That would be funny.
Yeah, that would be...
You should just do a podcast.
Just walking through.
Talking about...
Not talking about the Astros at all.
We're not going to talk about the Astros. They're not going to fucking win.
That's fact.
He's going to be rich and he's going to take us out to Chinatown.
For Hot Pot? If I win that
I will take us out to Hot Pot.
Give us all a watch.
Maybe I will come. I don't think you can get out of
these spots. I only have one tomorrow.
Your agent's going to whip your ass. I only have one tomorrow
and it's at 1am and it might get cancelled anyway. I walked into a bar. No, your agent's going to whip your ass. I only have one tomorrow and it's at 1 a.m. and it might get
canceled anyway.
I walked into a bar
to meet up with Sass
and his fucking agent
was yelling at him
across the booth
and he just like
came in white tears
off his eyes
and fucking sat with me
at the bar.
He did like the smile thing
and he's like,
why do you think I'm crying?
I wasn't crying.
You're not crying?
I have allergies.
My skin just gets botchy
because I have allergies.
Ain't no way.
That wasn't me.
Yes, it was.
Who else has agents in here?
Are you actually running twos with your agent?
Yeah.
No!
You've never ran twos with your agent?
No, I have.
Yeah, you went to Soho House.
That's my boy.
That's what you think.
He's using you for money.
You think you guys would be hanging out
if you weren't paying him?
I don't,
this is a very odd conversation.
Because I know he's listening.
That bastard.
Probably is.
Just kidding,
he definitely isn't.
It's Friday, bro.
Hour two into the show
on Friday?
Yeah.
You don't think
he's down to clown?
Oh, Fucking hell.
Ebony's jacket goes crazy today.
Yeah, it does.
You guys are all going out of town?
Yeah, seems to be.
Everybody's going to Houston.
Why don't you go hang out with your agent?
Houston, land in Vegas, bro.
Fuck.
And you're landing
and getting a rental car
and driving immediately?
I guess.
I don't know.
The competition starts at 7.
I'm not even going to chill
for a Lone Star, dude.
I would get a...
Are you talking about
a Lone Star Steakhouse
or beer?
Brews, dude.
Well, I don't know
if we're getting a steak
and a beer.
What the fuck is wrong
with this guy?
I mean, there's
Lone Star Steakhouses,
are there not? Are you telling me that there's I mean, there's Lone Star Steakhouses, are there not?
Are you telling me
that there's no such thing
as a Lone Star?
I know,
I didn't say that.
I'd love to,
I'd love to stop
for one with the fellas.
You got Philly next week.
Why don't you let us
do Who's Better
and you go do
Man on the Street?
I don't want to,
I don't want to talk
to Astros fans.
I can't believe
you're not going to be
in fucking Philly.
For what? Jesus. For what?
Jeez.
For what?
For when?
I can't believe you're not going to be there.
I'm going to fly back there on Sunday.
Are you going to go to the game?
The game's in Houston.
Oh, game seven would be in Houston?
Six and seven are in Houston.
No, I know six is.
I didn't know what seven was, too.
Yeah, they're both in Houston.
I don't think I can make it. They're doing a're both in Houston. I don't think I can make...
They're doing a stream on Saturday,
and I don't think I can make it.
I think it's just Smitty and Tico.
The video of Smitty putting Tico's taco in his ass
is fucking hilarious.
Pull that up.
In his ass?
He puts it in his ass.
He put it...
All the way up.
You didn't see any of it.
Yeah, pretty far down the back of his pants.
He covered it with his... Wiping his ass with it. Oh, he can do the back of his pants. He covered it with his ass.
Wiping his ass with it.
This is hell.
Oh, my God.
This is.
This is hell.
Yeah.
That's why I stood in the back.
Oh.
There it goes. There it goes. There it goes.
There it goes.
There it goes.
Oh, my God.
All right, guys.
Break it up.
I love how his first...
You let it escalate to its beyond worship.
Here comes the hero.
Oh, my God.
Yeah. I like how his first thought was to grab the taco and Oh my god. Yeah.
I like how his first thought was to grab the taco and put it in his ass.
Yeah.
He's like, this will be good.
It is hilarious, though.
Smitty's funny, man.
He's very funny.
Very.
Very.
Vulture's cup.
Vulture's cup.
What?
This is on the dozen.
The answer to the question was Hulk hands.
Or, like, that was the...
Like, Trent was saying it.
And Smitty thought he said whole cans.
He was trying to say, like, what...
He was trying to think of things, answers close to that.
And he said Folgers cups.
Whole cans. He's trying to think of answers close to that, and he said, Folgers cups. Can we pull that up?
Hopefully.
He's funny.
He's like, if it's not whole cans, then is it Folgers cups?
I wonder where he got it from.
Was it the O sound?
It did sound like whole cans.
I don't really know what that is, to be honest.
Whole cans?
Whole cans?
What is a whole can?
Like an entire can?
Folgers.
Whole cans?
Whole cans?
Folgers cups?
Yeah, he's the goat.
I feel bad Cause he
I feel like he's still
Like he doesn't want
Like Dave to like
Get pissed off at him
But I just don't think
Dave cares
Yeah
I think he's
Oh he's still in that boat
It's ingrained
Yeah
It's ingrained for some dudes
Yeah
Huh
Pissed off for any reason
Or
Like he's like
Oh we got a stream tonight like i'm not really trying to
you know i think that he'll kind of protect his ass and uh make sure that he's doing what's best
for the company rather than doing what's best for him yeah and i think that he's worried about
negative feedback which uh i wish that he wasn't because he's got tenure if anybody's got tenure. If anybody's got tenure it's the fucking general.
He's in.
He's in.
New Frank the Tank video with Stephen Che
coming up.
Oh yeah what is it?
It comes out on Monday right?
I assume so.
That's typically
the release date.
What's the video?
I don't know if that's this week
or if he's holding it.
I think it's this week.
Okay.
Yeah.
Me coaching Frank and Madden.
It's supposed to be me and Jerry,
but Jerry was out of town
for the horse race.
And Che will be wearing cleats
all next week.
That's right.
Thank you.
We got to spin that.
No, no.
I think it's kind of setting
and it feels gentle.
It's funnier if you do it
because you're clicking around in there.
Can I expense the cleats?
No, no, no. You're asking me? We got to... Yeah, we got to spin for this then. do it because you're clicking around in there. Can I expense the cleats? No.
You're asking me?
Yeah, we gotta spend for this then.
Because you can't expense them?
Let's spin the wheel if you can expense them.
I feel like
this negotiating is not going in my favor
at all.
Yeah.
I disagree.
I think wearing cleats would be good for you though
I think it's
on brand for you
wouldn't be the worst
yeah
so let's
spite the wheel
yeah
I am always
in favor of doing
what the wheel says
if the wheel chooses me
I'll happily oblige
alright fuck it
then spin it then
best of one
best of one
yeah best of one
lands on you
you're it you're it.
Want to do best of three, classic WNBA finals?
All right, WNBA best of three.
Whoever it lands on twice has to wear them.
Deal.
Unexpensed.
Oh.
One for Chad.
This would be expensed.
Wait, I thought we said it was whoever.
Best of three WNBA.
Respect the WNBA finals.
Is that happening right now?
All right, respect the WNBA finals.
Che has to wear the cleats.
I respect them.
Yay.
All right.
That's fine.
Let Rowan pick out the cleats.
I think he's the steeziest right now.
It's going to be soccer cleats.
Yeah, of course. It's got to be some Pumas with a fucking floppy tongue. I want cross out the cleats. I think he's the stesiest right now. It's going to be soccer cleats. Yeah, of course.
It's got to be some Pumas with a fucking floppy tongue.
I want cross-country cleats.
I want them to be sharp as fuck.
Those are called boots.
The Zidane 06 just re-dropped.
I know.
Get the Zidane 06.
You should get the Zidane 06 ones.
Get the Zidane 06.
If I'm back...
Oh, fuck.
I was supposed to watch Villa play Man City. Did you guys hear that? Is that a player? You don't know Zidane 06 ones. Get the Zidane 06. If I'm back... Oh, fuck. I was supposed to watch Villa play Man City.
Did you guys hear that?
Is that a player?
You don't know Zidane?
Zinedine Zidane?
Yeah, there you go.
There you go.
Oh, the headbutt guy.
Those.
Look at those.
Is he still playing?
They re-released the boots.
Zod did a TikTok about it.
I thought he was really old when...
You saw it?
He headbutted that guy. That was when I was in high school it I thought he was really old when You saw it? He headbutted that guy
That was when I was in high school
Yeah
He was
They just re-released the shoes
Like a Michael Jordan shoe
So it was a one time
It was a one time make in 06
It was a special edition
For that specific final
So those were never released
They were only given to Zidane
And then now they're being released
They're being sold to the public
Sorry Sass
Are we boring you?
Any big yawn?
Raj could show him
to be his wingman at a university
dating mixer by bribing him with what
memorabilia item?
Raj could show...
My mix of bribing...
It is...
It's whole cans.
Come on, dude.
Come on, dude.
One time for the kid.
One time.
The answer is whole cans.
Come on.
Final answer.
Final rigs.
Final answer.
No.
I love watching.
There's two of them.
I thought that was the one.
What about like Folger cans?
What cans could be...
What about, like, a Star Trek thing?
What?
What's a Star Trek?
Or, like, coffee cans.
Or a lightsaber.
What is he saying?
He's saying cans.
I don't know.
Why does he say cans?
I'm stunned that that's not right.
What was Trent's answer?
Whole cans?
Whole cans?
Lightsaber
Lightsaber
He's saying whole cans
You said fold your cans
I thought he was saying like whole cans
Like cans
I still don't know what he's saying
Oh man It is whole can.
Smitty's hilarious.
He is.
He has a lot of sayings.
Yeah.
And they're all like historic.
Yeah, he's like, the goose is getting the muffin now.
Like stuff like that.
I'm like, wait, what?
He had tremendous.
Oh, your agent's calling.
No, it's my friend, Beau.
Yeah, so it might be your agent.
Yeah, yeah.
Smitty also showed incredible patience
as Tico Texas ripped his shirt off.
I think everybody was pretty patient with Tico.
Yeah.
Damn.
Yeah, I don't know if I could.
Is it similar to raising a child?
Yeah.
In what ways?
Sometimes you just have to pick your battles.
You have to know there's no reasoning here.
I just got to step back and let it be.
Let them scream themselves out.
Let it scream out.
Right, exactly.
Just let them go.
She probably slept great last night.
Oh, like a baby.
She probably fell asleep in her car seat on the ride home.
Yep.
Yep. Oh, man. What cle She probably fell asleep in her car seat on the ride home. Yep. Yep.
Oh, man.
What cleats
are you going to get, Jay?
Oh, no.
You just took a bite.
You just took a bite.
What are you eating, bro?
Oh, your salad.
Salad.
I'm probably going to go
to the zoo this weekend
if anyone changes their plans.
Fuck.
Speaking of.
Same one? Zoo crew? You're in the zoo crew, aren anyone changes their plans. Fuck. Speaking of. Same one?
Zoo crew?
You're in the zoo crew, aren't you?
I went, yeah.
Yeah.
Philly?
No, Turtleback, North Jersey.
It's a good zoo.
It's a delight.
Brandon and I almost got into a fight.
Did he?
Yeah.
How?
Yeah, because the guy, he was just like, no, we're closing the lizard house today.
And Brandon's like, no, you aren't.
You're waiting in line.
The people in front of us got in. You can we're closing the lizard house today. And Brandon's like, no, you aren't. You're waiting in line. The people in front of us got in.
You can't just close the lizard house.
I was like, Brandon, it's not a big deal.
And even Tommy was just like, dad, chill.
I don't really care about the lizards that much.
He's like, we paid?
Which we didn't.
Can't flop it?
Yeah.
Yeah, Brandon was, or Mintz was telling me about it sometimes Brandon calls him and yells at him about
when he talks shit on him
he takes it personal and
gets pissed off at Mince
even though he mercilessly talks shit on Mince
at every turn he might have
thin skin I don't know
Brandon is just
his brain ever since he was
a kid he was raised by
wrestling heels
and that's just what he is
yeah
he was raised by
high heels
yeah
you guys wanna hit up
Chinatown
yeah
we should
KB what are you doing
this weekend
going to Houston
cool
alright I think we know
what everybody's doing
this weekend throwback oh Houston. Cool. All right, I think we know what everybody's doing this weekend.
Throwback.
Oh.
I know whatever I'm doing,
though, I'm going to be
comfortable as all heck.
Hell yeah.
You know why?
What are you going to be
wearing, Nicky?
Talk to him.
I'm going to be wearing
rowback.
The performance polos
are the only polos
we all wear.
The fit is perfect,
the colors never lose
their shape,
and they're perfect
for a night or a day
out on the links.
TJ put a timer up.
With fall here, Roback's performance hoodies are a total game changer.
Maybe the softest, stretchiest hoodies in the game.
Doesn't matter the season, we rock these Roback hoodies all year long.
So use code YAK on Roback.com for a generous 20% off your first purchase
through the end of this week. That's spelled
R-H-O-B-A-C-K
dot com. Sass sing the jingle.
R-H-O-B-A-C-K
Roback dot com.
That's 20% off polos,
Q-Zips, hoodies with code
Y-A-K. Make sure to jump on
Roback's new print polos to have
you looking fresh and feeling good.
Run that in your meeting.
Keep going.
That's 30 seconds, so we need to go a minute.
Well, we see it was a late start.
It was a late start.
Late start.
But go to Roback.com to use code YAK for 20% off your first purchase.
Sass, hit it with verse 2 of that jingle.
C-R-A-V-A
C-R-A-V-E
A-C-T-I-V-I-T-Y
Crave Activity
Rowback.
Rowback.
Crave Activity.
And we're good.
Get rowback.
Listen to the act.
Respect the wheel.
And each other.
And have a hell of a weekend.
Oh, the par- Jesus Christ.
Oh, God damn it.
It's the Bills Jets Under.
Fuck.
Dolph's bear.
Oh, we're fucked, dude.
Especially if it's...
Oh, we're fucked.
I actually love this.
I don't hate this under.
But the over's looking nice.
Yeah, yeah.
That'll be okay.
What is the over?
I don't...
20?
Yeah.
Yeah. Dolphin's score points, and the Bears put up what?
29?
45 and a half.
What did they put up on the Cowboys last week?
29 or something.
29, I think.
The Chargers-Falcons.
Over.
Come on over.
I'm going to take the over for that one.
Give me the under, and let me tell you why here in a second.
Oh.
Unless the over hits.
Seems like a lost year for Keenan Allen.
I even think Jordan Palmer's out.
We want the over.
Falcons defense is banged up.
They don't have the firepower that they used to in the late 90s.
Is that Chargers-Falcons?
Why did I think the Falcons had a rematch with the Panthers on Thursday night?
Rams-Bucs.
These the wrong matchups again?
These the wrong matchups again?
Oh, no.
No, they're right.
These are correct.
Are they?
Okay.
Okay.
What do you guys like for Rams-Bucs?
Rams-Bucs?
I mean, last year you would have circled this game.
This year, it's an underfest.
Actually, I think the under is actually good for that.
Lord knows the Bucks can't score for shit.
They didn't score on the damn Panthers.
You think they're going to score on Aaron Donald?
On the damn Aaron Donald.
Jalen Ramsey?
Who's your favorite Rams defensive player of all time?
AB.
Laurinaitis, all-time leading tackler.
Rams defense.
Leonard Little, I think he killed a guy.
Archuleta, liked him.
Michael Sam.
Oh, yeah.
Can't name any.
I can't name any.
You just named Michael Sam, brother.
Historic.
Herstoric.
There we go.
All right,
I think we can
end the show there.
See you guys next week.
Bounce. It's the act. It's the act.
Get your drive, yeah, style, yeah, you're through, it's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
That's time to talk, shop, and do a Yankee pop. It's the act.
It's the act. Have a good weekend.