The Yak - Cheah's Body is BROKEN | The Yak 3-14-24
Episode Date: March 14, 202410 minutes? I'll only need 5!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. It's the Yak.
It's the Yak.
Hello.
It's the Yak.
Roback.com.
R-A-R-I-C-K-O-B-A-C-K.com.
Promo code Yak.
20% off your first purchase.
Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.
Roback.com.
Hey, boys.
What's up?
Hey, hey. Wow. Everybody looks healthy. Good. Hey, boys. What's up? Hey, hey.
Hello.
Everybody looks healthy.
Good.
Steven Shea.
I feel.
Okay.
No, right?
There's no way.
No.
So what transpired yesterday after the Yak, we were doing our promos for tomorrow's special
episode with WWE 2K24,
which, by the way, was awesome.
A lot of fun.
So fun.
We got lucky again because we had Big E and Liv Morgan,
and they were awesome.
They were cool, and we played the whole game,
and we broke shit on each other's backs,
and we had some twists and turns.
Great episode.
But when we were taping our promos, Stephen Shea was on the phone,
and Tara, who works with us, was like,, Steven Shay was on the phone and Tara,
who works with us was like,
Oh,
he's on the phone with a doctor. And I was like,
Oh,
this must be kids related.
Uh,
he hangs up the phone.
I was like,
is everything okay?
He's like,
yeah,
I was just talking to pro football doc.
He was telling me what's my injury is.
Steven sent his video to the pro football doc online being like,
here's the video proof of my very significant
injury can you please diagnose right now he's the best in the world at that diagnosing injuries from
guy was a nfl team doctor for somebody who's also a friend of mine so yeah i texted in the video
less than 30 seconds later he called me wait have you been waiting for a moment to be able to call
him with an injury i talked talk to him fairly regularly.
And what is your injury? Because now you have
a neck brace?
Yeah, I mean, Morgan
and Morgan, we're going to be in touch.
Oh!
But no, so
actually, I don't want to
spoil too much for the show
tomorrow, but I talked to a pro football doc.
Coincidentally, there were EMTs part of the show tomorrow.
So I got to talk to them as well.
So I got two opinions, and they're both actually the same.
Sprain-based C-joint, depending on grade of sprain,
which they're unable to do both over the phone
and then in person on the place yesterday.
Two to eight week recovery, hopefully on the light side.
So you think you're actually injured?
I am actually injured.
We're not going to make the narrative
that I manhandled Che.
You did. Bitch, no.
What I did was fucked up.
No. The wrestling community
came together. It is an illegal move.
It's been a while since I've wrestled.
It's a mat return.
You can't trap the arm.
Very dangerous.
Very fucked up.
He could have gotten a lot more hurt.
All right, so we deduct a point.
Grossly over.
I didn't realize.
Usually that move.
You got to put it in place.
My God. My God.
And he also had a concussion for sure
because Che was...
That makes me sick.
I hate that I did that.
No.
You're okay.
Actually, KB
is on to something.
So,
technically,
yesterday we were...
It was a contest
to see if I could
pick him up
he was on a wrestling mat
we're not supposed to do offensive moves however
an offensive move occurred
in which case it became a wrestling match
shout out to Nelson Shirley
referee
wrestling referee friend of mine actually
this is all he's been doing in Indiana
or sorry in Tennessee
sounds like a really close friend
Nelson Shirley he's a data guy we talk over twitter quite a bit In Indiana. I'll take it. Or, sorry, in Tennessee. Sounds like a really close friend.
Nelson Shirley.
No, actually, he's a data guy.
We talk over Twitter quite a bit.
What does a data guy mean? I did not know he was a wrestling coach and referee.
Wait, what does a data guy mean?
What's data guy mean?
He just has Excel on his computer?
No, he takes basketball bets.
Oh, he's a follower of the data.
Correct.
That's not a data guy i refer them whatever you
want to refer um per per the wait wait whoa yes means he's just somebody that yes follows his
bets twitter follow this guy follows me on twitter he's a very close friend of mine what
he said yes i don't know where he lives or what he does when you say data guy that that
we think his has employment.
Correct.
Okay, sure.
He's a brainiac.
He follows the trusted data guy.
No, he's not.
A brainiac?
That's what I call him.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Anyway, so, and I don't know anything about really the type of wrestling that we're doing.
He explained to me that freestyle and Greco-Roman wrestling are a certain type that are like Olympics.
But in the U.S., they do folk style wrestling.
Is that correct, KB, in high school and college?
Yes, correct.
Okay, so that's the kind that we were doing.
KB is correct.
Here's the rule.
If a wrestler lifts and returns another wrestler to the mat
with a trapped arm that prevents a defensive wrestler from breaking his fall,
then the offensive wrestler is called for an illegal slam
and a recovery time of two minutes starts.
After two minutes, if the wrestler that was slammed cannot continue,
then the defensive wrestler wins the match by injury default.
Yeah, so you won.
But the more important thing is that it's fucked up that I did that.
No!
You should have slammed him harder.
You should have slammed him harder.
I'm used to doing that on wrestlers.
Yeah, no.
And they know how to keep a base. I've never gotten more than
an inch of air on that move
in my life
so I'm a lot stronger and bigger
than I was when I last wrestled nine years ago
and you don't wrestle
which is the fucked up thing
but the whole part of
why you guys were on the mat together
was that he thought he could pick you up.
He did.
No, he didn't.
You're close enough to make that a justifiable argument.
Yeah, I'm actually on KB's side with this.
Wait, no, but he's on your side.
No, no, no.
So I actually went through a wide range of emotions because I am actually hurt.
My shoulder is pretty messed up.
Yeah, we can tell.
You seem to be really struggling.
The neck brace was a little bit for effect but uh okay you're dressing up for fucking attention where'd you get the sling it's the lowest form of jerry
sling it's jerry sling no no he didn't have one i went and bought one just a cvs right now
but um yes so i went through a different range of emotions last night
but then after talking to nelson who's a wrestling referee uh everything was legitimate and you know
looking back at the tape and it was just like pick him up pick him up pick him up it's just
kind of a wrestler's instinct to just kind of do that and he definitely know and kb is a friend of
mine no intent to injure so i'm% good with KB and totally forgive you.
All right, so there goes your court case.
What do you mean?
You just forgave him.
You said it was all good.
It's all good.
Yeah, I mean.
You also said the neck brace was for effect.
I think you need a lawyer here.
All right, I just have one question.
Would you have done that to me if you were in the position?
No, I would have just.
I don't know how to do that.
I would just.
My only intent was to try and pick you up.
I kind of want to slam him again on
that shoulder. Slam his other shoulders.
I want you to slam him
even harder. I wish the neck brace
was real so Che would have to eat box
in a neck brace.
That brings me to my point I wanted to
make, not to turn this into a Che show.
Go ahead.
He wore a neck brace i realized something
we had pie down mostly sports we were talking about eating pie and and steven shea came up as
a preeminent pussy eater i realized that steven shea claimed to run a 4-4 we've seen him run he
can't get close right he claimed to be able to pick up kyle he couldn't do it yep he claimed to
be very strong he claimed to be very strong and be able to lift a lot of weight.
We put him under 185. He couldn't pick it up one time.
Oh, no.
I did a week later.
There's been so many times he's claimed something and did not,
yet we just let him say he is one of the best pussy eaters in the world.
Oh, shit.
All right, fuck it.
He's never backed up one of his claims one time.
In fact, he shows up the next day after making a claim in a neck brace and a shoulder brace.
So, my question to you is why do we let him claim to be the preeminent pussy eater in the world?
All right, I'll be the first to say it.
Steve can't munch.
Yep.
I'll be the second to say it.
Steve's got to eat Kate's box.
Get over here.
He's all groaned in the back. Somebody who groaned. I'm groaned in the back.
Somebody who groaned.
It's a good point.
That's the sound you make after getting off a really intense roller coaster.
I think I need to buy a sex doll and we got to watch his.
Has he ever backed anything up?
Yeah, what has he backed up?
Has he ever once backed something up on the show?
No, even the data.
No, he can't even back up the data.
He's never gotten through a day-to-day.
And he found the one thing that we couldn't check.
Oh, biggest penis.
Oh, tiny dick.
Yeah, but we haven't checked that.
I never said anything about I have the biggest penis on Earth.
We did say that.
That was your claim that he had the biggest penis.
Has he ever nailed a draft?
Actually, I was the number one mock draft in the world in 2022.
Thanks for asking, Mark.
No, the answer is no.
So no.
So yes.
Yeah, pull that up.
Good point, Brandon.
No, don't do that.
You have to put him through a pussy gauntlet.
He has never once backed up a claim,
yet we allow him to have this incredible claim of being a great pussy eater.
What makes you the best pussy eater?
Is it sensation, speed to O?
What is it?
I like to eat pussy.
I'm very good at it.
It ends the same way every time.
Mook is right.
We're doing a pussy gauntlet.
We have a pussy gauntlet.
It's going to be like how fast can you eat a tuna fish can.
Yep.
How many?
Oh, I was thinking like Latina, big.
Oh, no.
Yeah, we can do that.
Those are the two races to you.
Envelopes and big.
We'll do like 20 envelopes that he has to seal yeah yeah we can do this without a paper cut let's let's wear out the tongue yeah yeah do it as part of
uh jerry after dark's next contest yeah just put them through yeah pft did have a good idea for
jerry park wettest blowjob. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Jerry also was like, I don't want to watch a guy get his dick sucked. Jesus, Jerry.
All right, so we'll have to have a –
You know what?
Because we have sponsors.
We won't call it a pussy gauntlet.
We'll call it a tongue dexterity –
Combine.
Showcase.
Showcase. Showcase. TDS. The tongue dexterity. Combine. Showcase. Showcase.
TDS.
Tongue dexterity showcase.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
Oh, I like this.
Oh, he's eating box like Mr. Owl.
Crunching.
Fellas, I got references for this one.
Plural?
I believe you.
Do you have four?
Isn't that the number?
Four?
Who should he go against? Probably number four who should he go against probably
probably three who should he go against in the gauntlet in the well wait hold on
you said probably three that means one wouldn't give you a good reference no he didn't eat one
okay all right so next next week monday tuesday or wednesday will do, what are we calling it? Munch Madness. Munch Madness.
It will be Stephen Che against Mincy.
I don't want to watch Mincy do that.
I do.
I don't either.
I do.
Or anything.
If it's any physical, we might have to wait towards the end of March.
It's just your tongue, dude.
Brother, if you're using just your tongue, you're in a good pussy eater.
He's playing in. We're going to get an answer to this. If Mincy beats him, you ain't a good pussy eater. He's playing in.
We're going to get an answer to this. If Mincy beats him, then he has nothing to stand on.
What's that?
If Mincy beats you, you have nothing to stand on.
How do you know Mincy's not a beast pussy eater, too?
I guess we would find that out.
Could be.
Maybe Nicky Smokes.
Mincy would still find a way to get the coolest thing around his mouth.
No, Nicky Smokes doesn't care about a woman's pleasure.
Yeah, no, Nicky Smokes would be the last person. No, no. He'd be like, I didn't even the coolest thing around his mouth. No, Nikki smokes doesn't care about a woman's pleasure. Yeah, no, Nikki smokes would be the last person.
No, no.
He'd be like, I didn't even know I could use my tongue.
No, he does.
Oh, God.
How long have people been talking to him?
He's in a group chat.
We've talked about it, yeah.
God damn it.
I do think we should figure out a way to do this gauntlet.
I'm open to it.
If it's that, we have to wait a couple weeks.
But, yes, I'm down.
Oh, people are saying Stu.
We got Stu out here.
Oh, shit.
Stu versus Che is...
Stu's reputation would be on the line.
Yeah.
That's huge.
He's just a clit guy.
He's just a clit guy?
He only does the clit?
Yeah, isn't that his thing? That's true. clit guy. He's just a clit guy? He only does the clit? Yeah, isn't that his thing?
That's true, you're right.
He's never talked about the pussy in general.
He doesn't like vagina.
He hates vagina.
Right.
Yeah, he just goes clit.
That's insane.
He is the number one clit eater.
He's like a sniper.
That's accuracy right there.
Just to get the clit?
That's insane. That's insane. That's going up to the salad bar and Like, that's accuracy right there. Yeah. Just to get the clit? Just to get the... That's insane.
That's insane.
That's going up to the salad bar and come back with one crouton.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, we'll do it.
I want to do this.
I want to see what that tongue do.
We got to think of what else he can do.
What else he can do, yeah.
You have to roll a marble across the floor, but just through your tongue.
Ooh, I like that.
The game operation, but they have to retrieve
the objects with their tongue.
Maybe we should have you make these challenges.
Let me talk to a couple gals.
Have you constructed a gauntlet like this before?
We could do Simon Says
with tongues.
Simon Says, put your tongue out. Simon Says, put your tongue to the left.
Left, right, up, down.
Talent showcase like tricks.
Can we do the.
Oh, yeah.
We'll do a judging portion.
Yeah.
Can we get like a food scale to see like the pressure he can exert.
Oh, yes.
Great power.
Yes.
Yes.
Does eating a watermelon translate like a wedge of watermelon?
You've seen guys like do those competitions.
They look like they're motorboat.
Yeah.
I think that works.
I think how fast you can eat a watermelon.
Yeah.
Sucking that down. We got a lot of stuff we can put in this there's all tongue peanut butter on the door how quick can you lick it off yeah oh yeah i like that that's that's a
classic yeah you know you'll take you we just pop in what do we what else should we test i mean
it's got to be kind of a full upper body exercise.
It's not just tongue.
Sure.
So do we need to do something to test your rhythm as well?
Yeah, like mood.
Wait, what did you just do?
I know.
What did you just do?
He's finger blasting.
What did you just do?
Do it again, what you just did.
Brother, I'll send you the video later.
No, no, no.
What did you just do?
I mean, you're holding stuff.
What did you just do with your hands? You're holding stuff. What does your hands do with your hands?
You're holding stuff.
You're holding legs.
You're grabbing.
Yeah, he's right.
We're the one.
We brought it up.
You're beeping?
I hated that.
I'm more embarrassed for you guys and your partners.
You're honking titties?
You're honking titties while you're down there?
Yeah.
Do you pause to blow on the belly button?
You've got to blow the navel.
Oh, I got one for us.
There are a lot of things you can do.
We get a couple balloons, and we put razor blades on the tip of his fingers.
He's gotta softly caress.
Yeah, how soft.
Without stopping the balloon.
That's good.
I don't think Jake can softly caress.
But I would also just like a dummy lying on the ground, and I want him to start from the top kissing and see the path he takes down.
Yes.
I don't need to see this.
I need to see his path.
I want to use the tracker.
Yeah, the tracker.
See the red line down the body.
This is going to be like educational.
Yeah.
We're going to put on a show for the people.
I also want to hear your lines.
Like are you kissing up at that top, and then do you like shush her,
and then you're like be right back you're like, be right back.
Or, like.
Be right back.
We do, like, yeah.
We'll have them both go into, like, the podcast studio and record their best 15 seconds of ASMR.
Yeah.
Like, yeah.
I want to hear what you'd say before you do it.
We're going to do it.
Yeah.
We're going to do this.
Yep.
We're going to do this.
We're going to test what you get, what you're made of.
And it's going to be so creepy and disgusting.
Oh yeah.
It would be great.
It's going to be great.
I'm assuming you asked before you venture down, right, Steve?
I mean, there's a conversation.
What did you say?
It ends in a, it ends in usually a one or two word answer.
So it's, my success rate is very high.
It could also be hell no.
It could be no.
Wait, that didn't answer the question at all.
Absolutely not.
Ever, ever.
You're disgusting.
Just fuck me.
Fuck that.
You're gross.
Yeah.
Not today.
It's a one or two word answer if that answers your fucking question.
No.
There are only a finite number of one or two word answers So I think you kind of know
I'm beginning to think you guys don't eat pussy at all
Yeah
Actually on your side
Some of these guys might not
It's a shame
Missing out
This is going to be great
Retired
Put your tongue up in the rafters.
Don't deflect, Steven.
Don't deflect.
This isn't about our abilities.
None of us have claimed anything.
Brother, I'm not worried about you.
You got a mustache.
You know what you're doing.
I had to medically retire.
Again, I said don't worry about us.
Yeah, stop worrying about us.
That's what I, yeah.
Mark, you do have a mustache.
Sound like you have an argument.
Got a mustache.
I have a mustache.
You want to do the WWE?
WWE 2K20.
We will do this for the people at home.
We'll build it.
They might not want it at all.
No, they won't.
We won't want it.
They want it.
It's a great idea that once, like 10 seconds into executing it,
we're going to be like, wipe off all of it.
I think it will be one of those ideas where it's going to be the first we have say 10 events the first three to four five events people are gonna be like i
don't want this yeah and then you just gotta go through the wall yeah and just be like now it's
weird and so creepy that's how steven eats box yeah he says i don't want this and yes Just go with the flow. All right. WWE 2K24 is out this week.
WWE 2K24, finish your story.
New match types include guest referee to casket matches
to gauntlet matches to ambulance matches.
There are a bevy of new match types to experience in WWE 2K24,
including support for multiple superstars and backstage brawl.
WWE 2K24 showcase mode features 40 years of WrestleMania history.
WrestleMania is the biggest event in sports entertainment
where superstars become WWE legends.
Experience a gripping retelling of WrestleMania's greatest moments
in 2K Showcase of the Immortals,
where you can relive a collection of some of the most unforgettable,
career-defining matches.
Pick up or download WWE 2K24 today.
WWE 2K24, finish your story.
So I have two videos to watch today.
Okay.
One is the promos that you guys learned how to cut on each other yesterday
with Liv Morgan and Big E.
Yeah.
And the other is footage from inside an ambulance where Che had a
conversation with an EMT.
Oh, my God.
Fuck yes.
So which one would you like first? Promos
or ambulance?
Let's start with the promos. Let's ease into the
ambulance.
I'm gonna put you
inside this ambulance in about
ten minutes. Get ready to live.
Ten minutes? Ten minutes?
I'll eat your pussy in five minutes. Get ready to live. 10 minutes? 10 minutes? I'll eat your pussy in 5
minutes.
With those pants, it looks like you're doing a great job.
Yeah, that's what I said.
I'll eat that pussy in 5
minutes, and then you're gonna come
so hard, we're gonna put you in the ambulance
and take you to the hospital.
Bitch,
it's on!
Oh!
So it's a unique strategy.
I've never heard someone reference it.
Here's the deal.
This ginger I'm wrestling, this ginger that I'm fighting,
I look in his cold, dead, soulless eyes.
I see a beaten man, a broken man.
He didn't even show up because I'm putting him right here in this casket.
Ah!
It's a poor man.
He can't kill me
because I'm already dead.
I buried one pup up this year.
I'll bury another.
You just referenced
your dead grandpa?
Yes, I did.
He's dead.
Your name's Mark
and that's exactly
what I'm going to leave
all over your body
when I'm done with you.
His nose is poopy. It's poopy. I'm going to make sure you're not I'm done with you. Just pooping.
I'm gonna make sure you're not dead when I shove you in the casket
so you see my face, and then when I shove you in the casket and shut it,
that will kill you.
KB, that's a cute little leather outfit you're wearing.
It's fake, though.
I'm gonna make it real.
Your, uh, uh, uh, your hide's gonna be raw when I'm gonna make it real. You're gonna be raw.
I mean as an expert pelvic thruster, I'm not buying the threat. Like don't be afraid to pull the hips through.
Oh
I'm gonna fuck up Kate
Sylvester sidecar
But all my pages they glued together? I think that's a metaphor too. Okay.
Did you explain what it was?
An open book.
Like everyone like, yeah, I'll show you my true self, but you're not gonna glean anything.
I'll see you at the backstage brawl.
That was incredible
Should we go somewhere?
Yeah, we're gonna go somewhere
Do you wanna get a coffee or something?
Yeah, just out of here
Just somewhere else
Oh my god
That was amazing
Sylvester Sidecar
That's a good one
What a name
That was a great promo
Do you miss it, Kyle?
They cut what I said They cut my leg shit talking yeah
what did you say cut our shit too yeah they cut our shit yeah they cut my my other shit what did
you say yeah because you told us the line about uh postpartum puree yes yes sip you up off the
floor yep they cut brandon saying i'm the worst person at barstool. They told me to keep ramping up.
I know.
I was hoping they kept it at least.
They told me to keep going because I would say, all right,
and they would say, no, you've got to go further.
You've got to go further.
So then I just –
They unlocked you.
I took personal attacks at you, yeah.
Shout out Biggie and Liv.
They were the best.
They were great.
They didn't like you at all, right, Kyle?
Well, now that I see that they were playing those characters for everyone yeah
they were you're okay do you miss the uh costume po like now that you're not so yeah
oh alan arcangelo
i love that shit you gotta go big cam yeah i'm gonna go um i gotta go do a chili's live stream
i think wisconsin's in no matter
what happens yeah they are yeah don't know i did that already you did that to me yesterday i fell
for it i'm not falling for it again that's why you're doing that you're in yeah you're doing
that i know what you're doing i'm being supportive i know exactly what you're doing it's bullshit
oh oh we have a second video.
Yeah, go ahead.
Show real quick.
Are you guys real ambulance guys?
Yeah.
Oh, sick.
Ambulance guys.
This is actually perfect.
Can you check out my shoulder?
Like, for real?
Yeah.
I got, like, a body slam today.
My buddy is a doctor, and he says he thinks I sprayed my AC joint.
Is there a picture of it?
It's a bumpy-ass ride.
Yeah, that's what they're driving you in?
Pick him up, Kyle!
Pick him up, Kyle!
Pick him up!
Pick him up!
Pick him up, Kyle!
So I hit him.
Did I hit him?
Did that actually hurt?
Like, was that a real reaction?
Oh, yes.
Does it still hurt? Uh, was that a real reaction? Oh, yes. Does it still hurt?
Back of my shoulder hurts a lot.
Oh, my God, Che.
This also was Che's, like, dream to go into an ambulance with football hats on.
He was giving us the thumbs up.
Does he have to pay for this?
I mean, this is turning into...
That seemed like you were totally fine.
That's fine.
Take those off.
Yeah, you can also put them on.
Shout out to the ambulance guy for keeping a straight face and just rolling along.
It doesn't hurt, but the pain is in this area right here.
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
Yeah, a little bit more inside, like right here.
Yeah, it's definitely like a muscle thing.
Oh, it's a muscle thing?
That's good, right?
Like a tendon, ligament, something like that.
It's definitely not broken.
If it was broken, you wouldn't be able to do all that.
Okay, all right, good.
So I have like, if I lift my arms up, then like...
You're limited there.
Oh my god.
Can you go all the way up?
This is crazy.
Yeah, there's pain. So so wait that guy said he was an
emt is he not no it's fine he is i'm sure he is but you were in the back of the ambulance because
we did a we did a wwe shoot y'all were supposed to ride around the block you turned it into
a personal doctor's appointment yeah it was very advantageous for me yeah that was yeah it into a personal doctor's appointment. Yeah, it was very advantageous for me at that time. Yeah, it was a good move.
Why would I not do that, dummy?
Yeah, free doctor's checkup.
Alright.
That just is a video that shows
my resourcefulness.
Che, the whole
wrestling community is on your side, actually.
Shout out
to the wrestling community. I had a fun time
except to the very end
but Shay's on your side
he said
no he agrees that it was
an illegal move which makes it
somewhat fucked up
you didn't realize it was in
because you came up to me after and I didn't really understand
because that happened
film quick picks we had like a couple minutes before we went to taping so I didn't really understand because that happened. Film Quick Picks, we had a couple minutes before we went to taping,
so you came up to me after and were like,
I didn't realize you had a trapped arm.
I don't know what that meant.
Yeah, people were telling me.
I should have realized that.
That's a known rule, but I forgot.
Yeah.
But this wasn't a sanctioned wrestling match.
That too, it wasn't.
Yeah, I mean, there was supposed to be no offensive moves,
but when people were saying pick me up, I can see how he gets into that mode.
Also, the mat wasn't supposed to split in half either, but that happened.
So that was a bad choice not taping that.
Made a difference.
I was up all night thinking, what if I paralyzed you?
Oh.
It's like the worst
possible outcome of anything
you could do in life. Yeah I was
up all night similar thoughts thinking about
what if I paralyzed you?
There was no reason for you to. See there you go.
There you go Kyle. Don't feel bad Kyle. I'm fully on
his side. No you can't be now. I am.
What if he paralyzed you?
How would you have paralyzed Kyle? You couldn't get him
off his toes. He pretty much did.
I was very close to getting him off his toes.
But how would you have paralyzed him?
That was a joke, Mark.
He's too sassy.
I like it.
You're going to have to be on his side for a little bit.
I get it.
Are you on painkillers, Che?
I don't normally take those type of medications,
but I did take two Advils last night.
Shit.
Just say... I love you.
What's up?
Can you at least take the neck brace
off now?
Was that Bosco?
Yeah.
Yeah, they're all coming.
All the basketball boys.
Yeah, Maresh is here.
Ken Jack.
Should we get Maresh down here? Yeah, they're all coming. All the basketball boys. Yeah, Marash is here. Ken Jack's here. Marash is here. Basketball boy.
Ken Jack.
Should we get Marash down here?
I heard John Rich might be here.
He said he was watching games for Miami of Ohio.
I think so. Somebody said.
There's a bunch of people coming in.
Are you going full cane now?
I just found this on the floor and it was fun to fiddle with.
A little claw.
It is a nice little claw.
It is.
It's kind of addicting.
Kyle, you bought a new workout shirt.
Oh, you fucker.
From ASOS.
Yeah.
And you thought it was gray.
You pulled it out today.
Listen, I knew it wasn't gray.
I knew it wasn't gray.
It's the gayest garment of all time.
Right.
I thought it would be a little silly.
But then I did the whole outfit thing yesterday. So I'm not going to do it again. Can I thought it'd be a little silly But then I did the whole outfit thing yesterday
So I'm not gonna do it again
Can I see it?
I thought it would be gay, and it was
But it also dramatically outlined the majestic contours of my bulging muscles
So it looks really good on me
Okay, so you were embarrassed to wear it because you look too good?
It looks hideous
Can we see it on ASOS' website? can we see it on a body that doesn't look
good sure i think we could let's see what it looks like on the store first can we see what
you i knew what i was doing it came out it was way shinier than expected how much did you did
you pay for it like 20 bucks hmm can we get that to tj or do you want to see it on body?
I just want to see it, yeah.
Mook, why don't you take your hoodie off? Take the hoodie off, Mook.
He wouldn't even let us see it.
He said he looks better shirtless than in this shirt.
No, you said that.
I did say that.
Which is...
And KB was like, yeah, it's like a bit with Big Cat.
Like, I was going to reveal that I wore this shirt.
But, Mook, you should try it on.
Now Big Cat has left.
Yeah.
No, I was worried he was going to make me put it on, but he forgot about it.
So I wanted to have you in it.
Go ahead and take that off there, Mook.
It is too shiny.
I'm wearing chain mail.
I look like a knight.
Mook, we have to see the whole thing.
Yeah, we're going to need you to. Can I just do like a belly? Luke, we have to see the whole thing. Sorry. Yeah, we're going to need you to.
Can I just do like a belly?
No, you may not.
Oh, no, this is not.
You got to do a little spin.
Do a little spin.
I'm not a full reveal.
This is absolutely a full reveal.
It's not a full reveal.
This thing is happening now.
I let it all hang out yesterday.
I can't back-to-back exposure.
You got to go twice.
Oh, my God.
All right, so I have a double shirt.
That is some real self-consciousness.
Yeah.
This guy hates himself.
Wow.
Yeesh. This is...
Need to see more.
Sorry, man.
You have to do it.
You have to do it did you just
scare yourself
you gotta back the camera up dude I can't
okay there you go
now you're safe
come on
Moot take your god damn shirt off
no
it's over
just
you don't see the reflectiveness.
Just like vent to black.
Then right into the chair.
Oh, fuck.
Dance for us, clown.
Oh.
That doesn't look bad.
It doesn't look bad.
You look pretty cool.
I look like I have tits.
No.
My tits are bigger somehow.
Look at Brandon.
He's cool in it
Looks like you just got out
Of that bathtub in Dune
I don't know what that means
Shit
But I mean
It's like
Can you do something
Real quick
Just take the shirt off
Fuck
Just go ahead and take the shirt off
Kyle that could have been you
Titus would be asking you
To do that
It's very Sylvester Sidecar
Quite Sidecar
Just go ahead and take it off
You take it off.
You take yours off.
What?
I don't know. I'm floundering.
I'm trying here.
I can't.
There we go.
You look amazing.
Can you pick up my cane piece?
Her back's broken.
My back hurts.
There goes my crystal ball.
Titus is hurt. I'm pretty chill right here.
I can't.
Oh, man.
All right. Oh, my God. What are you thinking, KB? Oh man Alright
Kyle's just
Oh my god
What are you thinking KB
What does it feel like
I didn't want to make a big deal out of the shirt
Dude it doesn't look that bad
No
You bought this to work out in
Yeah
Is it a workout shirt Kyle
I swear the ASOS site said. Is it a workout shirt? Yeah, it said,
I swear,
the ASO site said
it's like a fitness shirt.
I can feel every roll
in my body right now
being saran wrapped.
That's not breathable,
is it?
Put the hoodie back on.
You should have worn that
at 11.
Yeah, this is what I feared.
Yeah.
At least you're in
gray sweatpants
to show your tiny penis.
Thank you, Kate.
Really tickled Kate's fancy.
I can't win, dude.
You're very funny.
You're winning for doing that.
You're a very fun person.
You're winning for doing that, man.
I wore it today.
You look great.
I look like Apollo Ono.
You look like Spider from School of Rock
Yeah
Speed skater
Yeah
You look like a speed skater
And host of Minute to Win It
Oh that's right yeah
What's Wayne Brady host?
Let's Make a Deal
And any
Any human being over to his house for sex
His pan ass
Yeah Nick you want to tell them about High Noon? will host sex. His pan ass.
Yeah.
Nick, you want to tell them about High Noon?
Gladly.
Guys, the High Noon El Prez pack is here featuring the top four High Noon Vodka
Seltzer flavors. As ranked by El Prez
himself, these flavors include Passion Fruit
Pineapple Pear and the all new flavor
What is it? Tangerine.
Tangerine. All made with real
vodka and real juice. This 12 pack is
only here for a limited time, so get it while
you can. Just look for the pack with Dave's face
on it. You can even scan the QR code on the
pack and have El Prez virtually
join your party. Visit
highnoonspirits.com to find the El Prez
pack nearest you.
You're a brave boy, Mook.
I didn't even stand up.
You're as brave as I thought you'd be.
Yeah.
Okay, I'll take that.
You're what most people look like.
I'm a shirt on guy.
You had a- Most people are.
Shirt on the beach.
Oh.
Shirt during sex.
In the pool.
Oh, come on.
Shirt.
They're already having sex with you, dude.
What are you-
Yeah, you had the shirt on. It's amazing. We wanted to see the shirt. Yeah, come on. Shirt. They're already having sex with you, dude. You had the shirt on.
It's amazing.
We wanted to see the shirt.
Yeah, you saw it.
Okay.
You're saying you're a shirt-on guy.
Oh, yeah.
I'm a shirt-on guy.
Oh, now I get it.
You should have been confident.
We were asking you to show us what the shirt looks like.
Not a skin-tight shirt.
Okay.
Yeah, a baggy shirt.
So it sounds like you're a shirt-on shirt guy.
Well, how did you get tricked into putting The shirt on in the first place
It just
What happened
You sleep with women
That's my question
You sleep with women
While wearing a shirt
Yeah
They have to be feeling
Like they're getting
Fucked by Winnie the Pooh
It depends on the time of year
100% of the time
My weight fluctuates
Anywhere from like
160 to like 200
Depending on the time of the year
That's a hell of a fluctuation So 195 pound mook Is 200 depending on the time of the year so a hell
of a fluctuation 195 pound mook is definitely shirt on oh for pants on too cut the hole out
let me put my fuck pants on yeah when i when i get to the upper echelon i even debate on like
showering with a shirt on because i can't look at myself you don't want to look at yourself yeah
two towel guy are you guys one towel guys or two towel guys?
What do you mean two towel guys? Why would you need two towels?
You have to get a towel extender to wrap it around your waist?
No, not an extender, but
one around the waist, one around the shoulders
so you don't see your own tits. Oh, no.
Fuck me.
I'm basically a zero towel guy.
You just drip dry walking around the house?
I do one little cursory
up the body and then throw it away.
Buddy, that's not getting dry.
I air dry the rest of it.
That's insane.
I love air drying.
No.
All the time.
I love air drying, man.
Do you step outside or just air dry?
Let's let it.
Your penis has to be dripping like a cave stalactite.
Much like a cave stalactite.
I do one Starting at the feet
And then all the way up
You start at feet?
So you go to ass
Then to face?
You know water drips down
Wait hold on
Let me think
Get out of the shower
Okay
You go head
I go head first
Get that
And then I go
When do you get the balls though?
You're still dripping at that point. Soaked.
I like a good drip. I like to
drip dry.
My wife complains about it all the time.
Do you get dressed while you're still wet?
Sometimes. Depends on what I'm about to do.
Buddy, you got mold.
I don't have mold. Do you lay on the bed after you shower?
That's what I was going to say.
Are you naked for the next hour and a half?
No. It doesn't take long to air dry. It doesn't take an hour and a half to say. Otherwise, are you naked for the next hour and a half? No.
It doesn't take long to air.
Oh, I hate putting on a shirt with my back a little damp.
It doesn't take an hour and a half to dry.
Underwear.
It takes a few minutes.
It's a nightmare.
We had a whole section of back on the serious days when we had call-in show, me and Chaps,
we did Naked Dad Radio where people called in reminiscing on the times they saw their
dads naked by accident.
It was very scarring.
A lot of people, they don't want to see.
Like nostalgic-fueled?
No, like you accidentally can't sleep at night.
You go down, and your dad's just like naked in front of the fridge getting a sandwich.
You're like, ugh.
Is it unavoidable as a father to be seen naked by a child?
No.
We've done pretty good.
Yeah.
Okay.
Your ting-tong?
It's not unavoidable.
I think it's very avoidable.
It should be, right?
It's just not a problem when they're two and under.
Yeah, but it's not a problem.
Yeah, but a kid's going to barge into rooms.
Kids barge into rooms.
Yeah, it depends on the age because, like, yeah,
if I'm, like, pissing, they'll just, like, come in.
And that's it.
That's where Cody put the cream pies. he said he brought cream pies for you and he's put
them under your fucking cushion yeah he's trying to he told me back there he's like did mook sit
on the cream pies well yeah yeah my back was an unopened box you just smushed it a little bit
what was the prank i got two actual great that was a prank no that was a great payoff I think Thanks Cody
He's always nervous
And he always says something wrong
He's always verbally fretting
Yeah
I like fucking with him
I really like him
How often do you guys use a towel
Before putting it in the
Laundry A week feels right How often do you guys use a towel before putting it in the laundry?
A week feels right.
Do you guys have, this is probably gross to everyone,
there's like no designated towels in our house.
So like, if I see one, if I'm like, oh, this one's dry.
No, I do that.
Oh, you do?
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know if that's true.
Most people are in your home.
Okay, all right.
Utility towels.
Yeah.
You know what bugs me out is when you go to someone's house
and they have a guest bathroom with one towel on it.
It's like, everyone's been touching this towel.
Yeah.
There's a lot of dick on that towel.
A lot of confusion.
Oh, yeah.
Guest bathrooms.
Yeah.
Which towel to use.
You stay at places that often have a lot of dicks coming through
that you're scared of.
It's a mini dick towel.
Yeah,
pretty much.
Miami.
A lot of dick.
Miami.
There's gotta be a lot of dick towels going around.
Do you guys do the floss to dry?
I used to.
Oh yeah.
I used to.
Yeah.
Sometimes you gotta.
Yeah.
I like to stand over a vortex fan.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I have done that.
Does it ever make like an echo i hear darth vader's voice
it probably does sound like one of the big car lot american flags
the snap of a clap. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
When you put a fucking playing card on your bike spoke.
I'm like Marilyn Monroe with a big push and a down.
Whoa.
Oh, my God.
You never used a fan.
Nobody.
No, I don't have a fan.
I don't have a ground fan.
I have a fan on my bidet.
I use a fan for sleeping.
I don't like it.
I just like the noise of it.
Yeah.
I don't use a fan for anything but sleeping.
Okay.
Yeah.
Is that weird?
The Koreans believe, I think it's the Koreans,
that that's like a death trap.
Is that what you all believe?
Yes.
Oh, the neck braces.
I just make them what I use. What, a fan?
If you turn a fan on and then close the door,
if there's a running fan without a door open.
Yeah.
I'm sure it's just a superstition.
Or if there's a running fan and you drink
fizzy lifting drink.
You're with your grandpa and you start.
You just gotta belch. Happens all the time.
Burp Charlie.
Just gotta belch.
Kyle's never seen that movie.
What?
Burp Charlie?
That Willy Wonka?
I know it's a line from Willy.
No, I haven't.
That's one of those
movies I saw, like,
as a kid.
And I haven't seen it
since.
Oh, it's great.
Oh, it's awesome.
It's one of my
whenever it's on TV
when I used to watch
K-Ball.
Did Mook just?
That landed directly
in your palm.
Yeah, get pod, bitch.
You just cream pod me.
Mm-hmm.
Does that look worse
for me or worse for you? Mook. No. No. You. Me? Yeah, it was a dominant. You just cream-pied me. Mm-hmm. Does that look worse for me or worse for you?
Mook.
No.
No.
You.
Me?
Yeah, it was a dominant.
You should eat it.
It's already coming.
They're very good.
I love oatmeal cream.
Yeah.
Better smash.
Are you a snack cake household?
No, we're not.
My wife doesn't really like...
She likes to make all the snacks.
Oh, I love that.
We had pie day today.
That's very attractive.
She made five pies. She made very, very, very good pies. We had pie day today. That's very attractive. She made five pies.
She made very, very, very good pies.
Yeah, they looked awesome.
Gotta thank her somehow.
Nick could not get enough of her pies.
I gotta thank her somehow.
You gotta repay her somehow.
I lapped him up, dude.
I was trying to give my wife one compliment.
She made five pies.
I thought that was a lot of pies.
Was there nut in mine?
She was...
There's enough pie to go around.
It's a pecan pie.
So answer the question.
Yes.
That was a really moist one.
Yes.
Brandon's wife's nut pie.
That's right.
Got it.
Following?
It was very good.
Very good.
She made you a gluten-free pie.
Two.
That's right.
And one's up in the studio to bring home. And you ate some and you're fine, so it was in fact gluten-free pie. Two. That's right. And one's up in the studio to bring home.
And you ate some, and you're fine.
So it was, in fact, gluten-free.
I feel great.
I didn't get anything confused, yeah.
That would have been really bad.
You ate her nut pie?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was just for...
Nobody else did.
So your wife makes your household snacks.
That's great.
Give me an example.
We have a dehydrator.
We make jerky.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
She'll make various breads and brownies.
You'll never have Andy Capps in the cabinet?
And stuff like that.
Rarely.
My favorite thing she makes me is homemade potato chips.
Wow.
She'll make me a batch of potato chips.
What do you do for her? She drives a Mercedes. Wow. She'll make me a batch of potato chips. What do you do for her?
She drives
a Mercedes. Okay.
Oh!
Well, well, well.
Come sit down.
Hello, hello.
Good thing.
That's your boy, Maresh?
You know that's Maresh. You act like you don't know him every time.
Titus, have you met Maresh? I have, yeah.
Okay. Hey, Maresh. Welcome. What's upresh you act like you don't know him every time titus have you met maresh i have yeah okay hey maresh welcome what's up brandon how you doing doing great how are you
talking pie talking pie talking about wife's pie specifically i grew up i was a big zebra cake
house yeah and then there's also there's cakes with the like really good nah it doesn't fucking
matter doesn't fucking matter we were a tasty cake household i don't know what tasty cake is
oh philly things yes we miss those things what Cake household. I don't know what Tasty Cake is. The Philly thing?
Yes.
We miss those things.
What are Tasty,
because I don't know
what those are either.
It's like the Rolls Royce
of Little Debbie.
Yes.
It makes Little Debbie
his stuff look like.
I don't think Little Debbie
had a Rolls Royce option.
Yeah, I don't think
prepackaged snack cakes
have a luxury edition.
Oh, they do.
Wait until you have a butter.
Are you saying Tasty Cakes
are like the luxury snack cakes?
How about a squiggly butterscotch crimpet with cream filling?
Those seem like British.
And that's why they're so much more successful than Ho-Ho's.
How about a peanut butter tasty cake?
It's just a little disc like a hockey puck, and it's got a nice fold of chocolate over
the-
This is it.
It's a tasty cake with a K.
The fucking best.
Look at this.
Oh, do they make the wafers?
The bars are mad good, too.
The bars are super good. They. The bars are super good.
They have pies that are really good.
Bars are good?
That doesn't look right.
No, maybe it doesn't, but they are good.
The cupcake looks good.
The honey bun looks good.
No, it's top right.
Don't like that.
Top right's the best.
The crimpets.
That shit.
The crimpets are super good.
What is that, lemon?
No.
The peanut butter tasting cake is the best one.
My mom and I used to break down the recipes, and we make our own peanut butter tasting cakes
that will blow your dick off.
I mean, we're not going to tea our household snacks.
No, but can we go to other cakes?
We can't tea our household snacks.
Is that a snowball?
We're not going to do that.
Yes, we probably could.
We could.
Did you guys go?
Was there a hostess store in your town?
Not a store, but they-
We had a hostess store.
You could go in and solve a word scramble on the chalkboard, and they'd give you a free
ho-ho.
Just a brothel?
You know what's embarrassing?
My mom used to take us to the Entenmann's Outlet store.
Entenmann's Outlet?
We got last year's donuts.
And we would get expired treats for like a nickel.
Are you serious?
We would walk out with like a trash bag's worth of Entenmann's.
Yeah.
Have you guys ever- I know. of instruments. Have you guys ever...
I know. I know. Have you ever
eaten a Twinkie?
Yes.
What?
I'm dead serious.
You've never eaten one? I brought it up to Sass.
He goes, I've never eaten a Twinkie.
That makes sense. A lot of people... You have it,
Maresh? Never eaten a Twinkie.
I mean, there's things I haven't done.
Did they have them there?
Connecticut?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
It's like one of those, like a Twinkie is a food that is like everyone knows its name,
but have you actually eaten it?
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
Hundreds.
Yeah.
The banana filled, the banana cream filled ones?
Not that.
Hummin' a Hummin' a.
Twinkie is one of those foods. When I have it, I'm like, I would eat 200 Twinkies is one of those foods
When I have it I'm like
I would eat 200 Twinkies in a day
They're great
And how are they the best?
I don't think they're that good
Frozen
What?
I swear to God
Ding Dongs
Twinkies
Did it just make them taste more stale
And that's all you knew?
Yes
I've heard of fried Twinkies as well
I've never tried it
But I can imagine that's good
yeah
that's like a state fair delicacy
that seems like something you get at the Oklahoma State Fair
they'll do fried butter as well
one of the states does fried butter
I think Oklahoma prides itself as the one
that fries everything
Texas does, Iowa does
Minnesota's got it
Minnesota's is a huge one
we were in Alaska for the Alaska State Fair Rise Against was playing Texas does. Iowa does. Minnesota's got it. Minnesota's a huge one.
We were in Alaska for the Alaska State Fair.
Rise Against was playing.
Strange.
It was a weird.
Probably at a bowl.
Like, I felt like we were in a different era.
Do all 50 states have state fairs?
Because in Mississippi, the state fair is not a big deal.
I don't think we had one.
West Virginia has one.
It's just not a big deal. We have one in Connecticut, but it's called the Big E.
Well, that's not a state fair. That's the Big E. That's the wrestler. No, it We have one in Connecticut, but it's called the Big E. Well, that's not a state fair.
That's the Big E.
That's the wrestler.
No, it's our state fair.
Why are they called the Big E?
I don't know.
I don't make the rules.
Is anyone in Connecticut passionate about their home state?
No, none of us are.
It's just kind of like.
Nobody reps.
Does anybody have the outline of Connecticut tattooed on them?
Probably Chris Webby.
Oh, probably.
Oh, yeah.
He remixed Just Dance by Lady Gaga.
But to how?
Wait, what was it? Was that her song? Yeah.
It was him and this other white rapper
coming up at the same time,
Bob Swags.
And they both opened
for Wu-Tang Clan once.
I went. We got snowed
in and they both got booed off
within five minutes.
It's like, why would you have them open up for Wu-Tang Clan Bob swag
Know the crowd read the room
You went to Wu-Tang Clan
Hell yeah brother
What's the worst concert you've been to
Bob Dylan a few years ago
What yeah that would be bad.
He's too old.
I went through a country music phase.
I went to a bunch of those guys.
Those are the best ones, in my opinion.
They were fun, but I didn't even like the music.
I just wanted to...
Best tailgating.
Yeah.
I went to Kenny Chesney at...
Where the Jets and Giants play.
Meadowlands?
Meadowlands.
MetLife. MetLife.
MetLife.
Peed my jean shorts at the tippy top of the stadium trying to pee into a soda cup.
But it's not.
The concert, the parking lot was trash.
I don't know.
I didn't love it.
What if Kate had the same problem as Che?
Her pussy?
No, I don't want to call her your pussy.
Kate, your pussy?
I'm so sorry for that.
I don't know what to call yours.
Your member?
Yeah, what do you call your female co-worker's vagina?
Wait, we need to do the thing around the office.
What do you call it?
Wait, what do you need?
Yeah.
What do they expect us to say? Wait, can I have an HR's number? I want to say, hey, what do we call it? Wait, what do you need? What do they expect us to say?
Wait, can I have an HR's number?
I want to say, hey, what do we call Kate's put?
What do we call Kate's puss?
That'd be a great follow-up to, are you afraid to make content here?
Who's HR?
Who do we even ask?
The gambling cave's going crazy
Something must have just happened
Something's happening
The boys are yelling over there
Hmm
Yeah, what are you supposed to
What are you supposed to say?
Boys in the chat
What do you call your
Coworkers cooter?
Cooter feels right
No
Snatch?
Cooter seems like a rascal
No Oh no Definitely not snatch Not snatch No right no cooter seems like a rascal no
definitely not snatch
not snatch
alright so we're just having a conversation about work right
yeah so I was sitting there and then
Kate and her cooter came in I know just like
I don't know Kate just had a baby
Kate how's the pussy
I could tell
she didn't wash her gash this morning
gash is a good one.
Gash is not a good one.
Hey, new jeans.
How's it feel against the old pussy?
How's it feel against the pussy, Nate?
Nope.
I'm so sorry.
It's hurting me.
But I'm going to keep going.
Put a blazer on a pussy.
What would that be?
All right.
Yeah.
What's buttoned up?
What wouldn't?
Brando?
He's got his on the tip of his tongue.
How do we feel about box?
No.
Not in the workplace.
Heavens no.
Jay, you're an expert.
I don't hate box.
Beef curtains.
That's so much worse titus just in time friend
yeah get back here we're talking what would you he'll know he'll know yeah he will know
huh about my shorts no no no no no if it come if it comes up in conversation
you're talking to kate you gotta talk about Kyle help me out here
you gotta talk about this area
what do you call it?
how do you refer to your female co-workers
your female co-workers?
in a workplace conversation
just like you're concerned
you're concerned?
what's the proper noun?
Is it not just vagina?
No.
Groin?
Yeah, probably.
How's your groin?
Crotch region.
Crotch is okay.
It's crotch.
I think crotch, yeah.
How'd you do it at Fox Sports?
From a legal standpoint, vagina gets you out of any sort of...
I don't know.
That's the term.
Can you?
If I, you know...
Really, you want to say vulva.
How's your vulva?
Yeah, what do they say at Deloitte?
Vagina's one of those words.
It's the clinical term, but it sounds dirtier than all the other slangs.
I'm thinking less about the conversation and more about months down the road when I get sued for harassment.
And I think if I'm testifying in front of a jury
saying, yeah, I asked her if her vagina is okay.
We'll just all go on Twitter
and say you're the most honest guy we know.
You'll be fine.
What did Skip Bayless call the interns?
That's a great question.
Oh, that bad, huh?
I don't know if Skip Bayless
talked to anybody at Fox
other than himself.
Mississippi State's
down seven at halftime.
They're playing and you're not watching?
I gotta do the act and then I gotta go to this Chili stream.
We gotta leave in three minutes.
Is the Chili stream at Chili's?
I'm an idiot.
They've lost four in a row, so.
Kate, you're in pain.
It's okay.
I am.
It's all good.
I had dental work today.
Am I all side of my mouth numb?
What the hell is happening to you?
Your body is shut.
My pussy, too.
Oh, God.
I don't like you saying it.
No, I don't like it either.
It sounds worse.
Yeah, I don't like it either.
Who's this guy?
He's got a lot of tattoos.
This guy looks awesome.
This guy looks fucking awesome.
Yeah, fuck with him.
He's got to be here to fix something, right?
He could ask about my pussy.
No, that was wrong.
I'm not in.
I love the beef.
There we go.
The beef.
The beef.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, but if I say, Kate, how's the beef?
She's going to answer about the dude.
She's not going to tell me about her pussy at all.
What answer could you give and he still wouldn't be sure what you're talking about?
Harry.
Harry.
Harry.
Yeah. A mess.ry's worn out tumbleweeds in the bathtub man getting big yeah yeah yeah
stinks
a little bit of a musk going on.
It's perfect.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
What else we got?
You got to leave in two minutes.
You can segue to Long John Silver's.
Oh, we have a Long John Silver's gauntlet.
That's right.
That's right, friend Silver's gauntlet. That's right. That's right, Fred.
It is fried fish season.
Enjoy.
Oh, TJ, I didn't even realize that.
You sick fuck.
He's pitching.
We have to do this again.
It's fried fish this ad You monster
That's it fried fish
That's what we'll call it
Kate why don't you do the ad
Kate how's your fried fish
Crunchy
Succulent
Enjoy wild caught Alaska Pollock succulent it's okay
enjoy wild caught
Alaska Pollock
hand battered
and fried to perfection
at Long John Silver's
hand battered
we have more than fish
you get bigger last night, worse.
Absolutely.
We'll start over.
Yeah.
It is fried fish season.
Enjoy wild caught Alaska Pollock,-battered and fried to perfection at Long John Silver's.
They have more than fish.
This February 14th through March 31st, indulge in Long John Silver's $10 shrimp sea shares.
Perfect for sharing with loved ones or savor their $6 shrimp baskets.
Popcorn shrimp, grilled shrimp, or batter-dipped shrimp.
Craving even more shrimp?
Upgrade to jumbo shrimp for a limited time.
Order ahead and skip the wait by ordering online at ljsilvers.com
and pick up in the restaurant.
Get extra perks and discounts when you sign up at ljsilvers.com.
Offer valid at participating restaurants and discounts.
Not valid for delivery orders.
Long John Silver's.
Titus, we need to go.
We got to go. We got to go. We got to go. So one of us will orders. Long John Silvers. Titus, we need to go. We got to go.
We got to go.
We got to go.
So one of us will run the Long John Silvers.
All right, Marash will do it.
Might as well just do Marash.
Give him one of those pirate hats under big cat seat
and an eyepatch under big cat seat.
I know this is wrong,
but I'd like Mook to be his guide in the shirt.
Yeah.
I know it won't happen, but I...
No, you could...
I'd like to pressure him into it.
He just won't show it.
Oh, I'm going to wear a pirate hat.
Chase picking up all the balls.
It's by Long John Silvers.
Have you seen the gauntlet?
Thank you, sir.
This was a fun episode today.
I really enjoyed that one.
Maresh, how do you think you're going to do?
I don't know.
Are you an athletic guy?
He's very athletic.
He's good at fake sports.
He has plantar fasciitis.
Oh.
Whoa.
Keep you on your toes.
How do I know that?
I got shooters everywhere, dude.
Wait.
I should probably do the eye patch first.
That don't. Yeah, yeah. Should I do my non-dominant eye?
Is it true that pirates only wore eye patches
So like when it became night
They would switch it over to their eye that's used to the dark
Or are they just eyeless?
I have no idea
I thought they were losing eyes via disease
Okay
That's probably wrong though
Is it tough to lose an eye?
I know one eyeless guy.
I feel like I've seen some.
Kate.
I know a few, actually.
Yeah?
This is so hard.
Could you...
How many eyeless guys do you know?
Actually, a couple.
Yeah, I know a decent amount.
Yeah, there we go, yeah.
Or the most, go yeah what is it
it's for their vision to adjust to darkness
pretty cool
are you willing to be my guide
you have to take the hoodie off though
no
so you'll move way faster
I need a safety guide
walking back from the bathroom I could feel every body part
or every piece of skin just move up and down.
You're not fat.
You got some flab like a normal dude.
Right.
But it's not like extra.
No.
You are normal.
I wouldn't tear my head in a gawk.
It's not an embarrassing torso.
No.
I'm all set personally, but I will guide you in the sweatshirt for sure.
All right. You know. I'm all set personally, but I will guide you in the sweatshirt for sure. All right.
You know.
I'm sorry.
I got a fucking eye patch on.
You can't take the fucking look.
Marash, I was wearing a fucking skin tight kimono yesterday and I get it.
I get it.
I'm sorry.
How hot are you in that thing?
It does not seem breathable.
Yeah, it's not.
It's suffocating me.
Okay.
It's not a shirt.
It's just like tight skin on top of my other skin i'm so concerned about my aim
about your oh yeah it's tough with the uh the cornhole and malasek is going to body you
he's been tough but you got yours in the first throw didn't you with that yeah i did but you
just with him you got to keep it low. Got this, Maresh.
And we'll tell you when.
You can't touch bags.
Can't touch.
Oh, Maresh.
My biggest fear every time is someone tripping over the cornhole. Oh, yeah.
That's my biggest hope.
I'm fixated on it.
It trips me out every time because it looks like a pause button in the middle of the screen.
It does.
Oh, yeah, it does oh yeah it
when it's from there yeah really with me wow you'd be selling hey man hey what's up
how's it going are you all right are we ready to all right yeah all right maresh what wait do you
know how to do it uh oh no uh brandon do you you want to go? I got to get one in there.
I love my keys.
Your keys?
Grab your keys.
All right.
He's explaining to him now how to go.
Thank you.
What are we thinking here?
He has no three ball.
I have no three.
No three.
I feel like he does.
He plays like...
Oh, Malasek's getting jacked over there.
He's so excited.
Nick, does he do like local sports?
I don't think.
Did he play sports growing up?
Baseball.
He's great at ping pong
Yeah
Alright, Maresh
I'll count you down
Are we good, Teej?
Yep
In three, two, one, go
Okay, multiple bags, smart
Uh oh, a little overshot
Whiff
A little undershot.
Over.
Over.
Under.
On the board, but too far to the left.
Oh, my God.
He's almost out of bags.
Wait, were you playing the shanty while I was going?
Yes.
Oh, hell yeah.
It really does add to it.
Yay! He got it in.
There we go. With only three bags
remaining, here he goes towards Malasek. He shoots.
Oh, he kept it low. Malasek stops the ball.
Malasek's
being a dick. Another again.
Ooh!
Yeah, Malasek really has... Goal!
There he goes. He got it in.
Good time.
Oh, he went with the lower bat.
And he got it in. Good time. Oh, he went with the lower bat. And he got it.
Wow.
Amazing.
Football, football.
Football, football.
Big running loop back to the football.
Yeah, that was like a real clumsy move.
Nope.
Too hard of a throw.
You got to reset his bottles.
Attaboy, Mookie.
Okay, throw number two.
Way too high. Way too high. Right off the ball. You got to reset his bottles. Atta boy, Mookie. Okay, throw number two.
Way too high.
Way too high.
Right off the ball.
Here he comes.
He's still got a smile on his face.
Way too high.
Now I think he'll start to get demoralized if this continues.
Nope.
Missed again.
He's still not at a minute the smiles not as big big cat
would be done by now he got it he's got good time this is bad
Oh big time oh even it he oh it looks like they're going to go in, and then they do not.
No, they don't.
No.
Moon shots.
He's on his fifth ball here, and it's not in.
Another one.
Air ball off the net a little.
Get comfortable.
Oh, no.
Not great.
No. Went in and then out again. Oh, nope. Not great. No!
Went in and then out again.
Oh, his pirate hat fell off.
Still at the same net.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
That's okay.
The only net I like is a fishing net catching a long John Silvers deal.
And he got it in.
There he goes.
Don't trip over the board.
Okay.
He's got to reach way down.
He's only got four balls left on the bottom.
And air ball.
The Taj air ball.
Boo me all you want.
Boo me all.
I'll get another one.
Hold on.
Give me another one.
Help me.
He's no Steph Curry.
That's for sure.
That was right there.
Dang.
All right.
You want to hop on a mic?
Yeah, mic, mic.
Mic, mic.
Can you see?
Lola.
He's trying to do Bunny like the last name.
Oh, shit.
Michael Jordan.
What the hell alexander granbell there we go arnold palmer hoover no uh davidson georgetown Georgetown, Indiana. Let's go.
Iowa, Michigan, Florida, Arkansas.
Yeah, Ole Miss.
Cook, one more.
He's got good time.
Live action.
Under four minutes. Oh, red.
Taylor Swift.
Bang.
Time.
Done.
402.
402.
Pretty good
Patch ain't bad
With a patch ain't bad
How you feel?
I'm so fucking out of shape
Yeah
Yeah
Nick you made a reference
I was out there
Marash was shooting threes
And Malasek just whispered to me
Steph Curry
Yeah that's
Yeah
That was an easy
Great mistakes
Too easy
There was a lot
The home run
I should have said
Going going Gandhi
Going going Gandhi There's enough There was a lot. The home run, I should have said going, going, Gandhi.
There's enough.
Just didn't do it.
It's too busy rooting for you.
What?
Be an NFL player?
Probably a lot. A bunch of them, yeah.
Will Compton twice.
I'm better than Tommy Smokes.
That's all I need.
In every single way
Yeah
Oh did you guys see his court storm?
Oh
Unfortunately yeah
I love that
Tommy just doesn't
Fucking get embarrassed
I'm so jealous
He doesn't
He'll do anything and he knows
So Colgate was expected to win They were the onesie he doesn't he'll do anything and he knows I didn't realize
so Colgate was
expected to win
they were
the one seed
yeah
was it just the last
game
on a
they always storm
their like
oh so that was
a stormable moment
it was like their bid
to March Madness
so is that a
stormable situation
if you're the one seed
doesn't matter he did it
he did it he did it he found it he drove up there
do we have the vid
look at this old guy
oh
they were sheepish
they were a little sheepish
oh no this is raucous
He made it happen
He did that
I'm proud of him for that
And look that's a storm
It is
It's a summer shower
First one out there
Look at Smokes.
Look at Smokes.
Yeah.
Yeah, he sent me a picture of you both.
I don't know if he's everywhere or you are.
Proud of Tommy.
Yep.
Yeah.
Where is Colgate?
Upstate New York
Lewiston
Or Hamilton
See that's fun for them
There's not too much doing up there
That's a blast
No it is
That's probably huge for the school
Powerhouse basketball team
Did you guys train for
Like pirate encounters?
Some, I'm certain.
Not me, but in the Navy and boat people.
I don't think about modern pirates enough.
The only videos I see of them are they're getting absolutely walloped.
By waves?
No, by modern tech.
What's their success rate?
They have 8Ks now.
Yeah, but they're coming out there.
You're in the ocean.
They see you from literally a mile away.
Yeah.
The footage always looks funny.
They have a mega blaster hose that they just spray them with a hose.
Oh, we spray pirates with just a hose.
Yeah, they have non-lethal weights.
Do they just die?
Their record's worse than the Pittsburgh Pirates.
Yeah, it's bad.
Yeah.
It's bad.
I've never seen them get a dub.
When was their last W?
A pirate dub?
Couldn't tell you.
Yeah, when was that?
Pretty recent.
No.
2000s?
They're always meddling.
They're always trying.
They're meddling for sure, but like-
Yeah, under Somalia.
In Captain Phillips, the pirates roll up and they just have a giant water gun just spraying
them.
So that's what they do, spray.
Yeah.
So it's like a cat. It's like that Cesar Millan guy. Yeah them that's what they do spray yeah so it's like a cat it's like that caesar
milan guys don't yeah that's they try non-lethal first and that usually they're coming to shoot and
kill yeah oh yeah they just spray them away there's been a couple on cbt we've covered a
couple recently where they it never works out for them they try I don't know what the end goal is, I guess, to steal the boat.
I kind of want to support them in a way.
Send them some shit.
Fund them a little bit more. Make it more fair.
It is super unfair.
I'm a big water gun.
Super soaker.
Is there any videos of
us sportin' pirates?
Normal civilian ships.
I see they're big game hunting.
They're looking for the crate ship.
Oh, yeah.
I thought they were going for cargo.
They're going for cargo.
Cargo, yes.
They're not raiding Carnival Cruise Line.
Can you imagine?
Do you ever see cruise TikTok?
I'm huge on please. It's like there's a storm and everyone's
falling over oh i've seen that too yeah how would a cruise be fun it looks awful it's just a hotel
they turn up there's a some people turn up yeah do you get seasick are those boats big enough to
where you don't some of it like what he's talking about the whole pool everyone has to get out of
the pool because the water is like it's like and it's going so far that it's empty on this side and then it goes back the other way
yeah not not crazy not worth it i went on the disney cruise as a kid and just threw up for
five straight days yeah yeah so just ruined any chance of a good time for my entire family people
go overboard way more than you think too like i've seen a ton of that on TikTok on Cruise Talk like they get wasted
and then fallen or yeah
that kind of war I know about the kid
a couple years ago yeah that
but like no people like get wasted
and then they'll like get in an argument with somebody
and then they'll be like I don't I think they think
they're gonna be okay when they jump off
and then they're
lots of drunk people
die by falling in water.
Yeah.
Rivers.
Yeah.
And then are you on oil, oil doc,
tick tock where they like throw the like chicken nuggets over the
chum.
And then like, Oh my God.
Yeah.
It's insane.
Fuck that.
I do want to see, uh, let's, can we play the Billy video?
Yeah.
Oh, which one?
It's The crying.
Oh, him bawling his eyes out.
I respect him for letting it stay in the edit.
His heart was all in.
So damn hard, and they played so damn hard,
and they got screwed by the referees.
Oh, man, this made me really emotional.
I went to war with them,
and the fact that they didn't get a win was terrible
because they fought so damn hard.
They did everything right.
They did everything right.
They did everything right, and they got robbed.
We were getting five yards every carry,
and they kept moving the first down marker. The worst thing was that they got robbed. We were getting five yards every carry, and they kept moving the first down marker.
The worst thing was that they trusted me.
Billy's cry voice is just death.
It is.
Yeah, why does his voice...
Right, yeah.
It's just hitting right now.
I never watched Ted Law, so...
So good.
I was playing the game, and I fought with them.
This is like one of those...
I love this from Billy.
Me too. It sounds like one of those I love this from Billy this will be too
it sounds like one of those
post anesthesia videos
I love you mom
I love you mom
yeah it was like
he got his wisdom teeth out
yeah
in Africa
I was in Africa
picture his mom too
on the other side of the world
okay that's okay sweetie
that's alright
why did he say
I've never seen Ted Lasso?
I think that's how he saw him.
It was almost a reverse Ted Lasso.
Ted Lasso went to the UK
to coach soccer and he did well or
poorly. Beats me. Never seen it.
Never seen it. He was hired as a joke.
They brought him in because he was
an American football coach and she wanted to
tank the team.
So there's no parallels
at all. I heard that show's heartwarming as hell.
Feels like it's just like the safest
humor imaginable for
the whole family.
For the whole family to enjoy.
Fired up for Piper this weekend.
What's up? Fired up for Piper.
Piper Jones. Fire up Ted Lasso.
She might like it. She might fuck with it.
What's she been up to?
Nothing.
Does she use the runner thing?
Never.
She never even looked at it.
Okay.
All right.
Second cat coming anytime soon?
No, my girlfriend's getting increasingly allergic to one cat.
That sucks.
It's a problem.
Oh, yeah.
It's probably subtraction before addition.
So you'd get rid of Piper?
I would never.
No.
Outdoor cat, just on your balcony on the 19th floor?
Oh, my God.
I'd get rid of somebody else.
Nah, psych, psych.
That was a real early 2000s sitcom of you. Yeah, it was. Or Brad Paisley song. Yeah, yeah. That was a real early 2000s sitcom of you.
Yeah, well.
Or Brad Paisley song.
Yeah, yeah.
That was a country music humor.
I'm going to miss her.
Anything else, guys?
Oh, we have a deathly wheel.
Oh, this is bad.
Oh, that's right.
Oh, TJ.
Oh.
No.
What did you sign me up for?
Wait, no one's here either. Oh, wait, wait, no. They were all on the show. Oh, name wheel. Oh, no. What did you sign me up for? Wait, no one's here either.
Oh, wait, wait, no.
They were all on the show.
Name wheel.
Okay.
Yeah, let's spin.
Fuck.
God damn.
No way.
Hey.
It was close.
Oh, my.
Yeah, fuck.
Chat is angry.
So Monday's going to be a day.
And no dries.
Might be the first time ever.
Ever.
Has to be.
Wow.
We need a reset.
Well, we have a special wheel on Monday, too.
Yeah, we did spin the wheel tomorrow on the WWE episode.
So stay tuned.
Stay tuned for that.
Wonderful.
Yeah. Wonderful. Yeah. tuned for that wonderful yeah wonderful
yeah
uh
I guess
have a good weekend
yeah we can call it
yeah
yeah
that's the act guys
that's the act
God bless
it's the act
it's the act
get your straws the act style let's take for a while it's the act Get your straws
The act style
Let's stay for a while
It's the act
It's the act
It's the act
Yeah it's time to talk
Shop or do a Yankee swap
It's the act
It's the Act It's the Act