The Yak - Cheah's Life is Over After Tom Brady's Retirement | The Yak 2-1-23
Episode Date: February 1, 2023My son loved Space Jam 2You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the Yak.
It's the Yak.
It's the Yak.
It's the Yak.
It's the day that contracts are up for a lot of people.
And why don't we flip the camera angle to the center?
Yikes.
Big Cat was let go.
It was a cost-cutting move.
It's akin to when a franchise gets rid of their highest-paid player to kind of make room.
It just didn't make sense anymore.
Long time coming.
Juice wasn't worth the squeeze.
Barstool's doing a rebuild.
Yeah, what you said.
We're tanking, yeah. We're tanking a little bit. So it was a good memory. Barstool's doing a rebuild. Yeah, what you said.
We're tanking, yeah.
We're tanking a little bit.
So it was a good memory.
Should we play the montage?
Yeah.
I will remember you.
Just fiscally made sense.
There are no hard feelings.
They're giving Sass his money.
It's a business.
It's a business. A pay cut today?
His pay cut day? Sass is taking a haircut. It's a business. A pay cut today? It's pay cut day?
Sass is taking a haircut.
Just voluntary, though, just because you see the writing on the wall.
Yeah.
You don't want to be the soldier that's arguing back.
Ended up on the wrong side of a firing squad.
Welcome back, Kyle.
I forgot you guys clown like this.
Good start.
Good ass start.
What'd I miss?
How you feeling?
Good.
I was kind of bad for one day.
You had COVID.
The biggest mistake was actually testing.
Did you lose your taste?
No.
Explain the fit.
He forgot you clown like that.
No, you look good.
You look comfortable.
You look so comfy, dude.
You look really good.
You look comfy and healthy, man.
That's all that matters.
Colors coming back to your face.
Like this.
Brandon, how was the game?
It was great.
It was one of the better nights of my life.
TJ, can you pull up a photo?
Of what?
You at the game.
Sorry I sprung that on you, TJ.
I know you did.
We had a good time.
Jinx, you met him before.
Yeah, you brought me because you were a little nervous to meet him.
I was a little nervous.
I didn't know if he was going to throw a bag over my head.
What do you mean you brought him?
We met him at the Triple Crown across the street,
and there we are at the game.
One question.
Yeah.
Not even a question.
It's an observation.
You're wearing the same exact fit from yesterday, Mr. Gay Sex.
Let us smell your dick.
Let us smell your dick.
Can we pull up the episode from yesterday?
We had a big night.
Stephen Che would know what his dick smells like.
Did you go home last night?
Save the smell your dick thing.
We had a long night.
All right.
Put a pin in that.
We had a good time.
Did you go home?
No, I mean,
yeah, I had a bed.
We went to the game.
We enjoyed each other.
It was fantastic.
We really don't show you a lot on this program.
Alright.
Okay, so
what's going on here, bro?
Is it the same socks?
Because that's foul.
If the same socks mean you got fucked.
I keep extra pair of socks on my desk.
Jinx is a cool guy, man.
He's just a cool dude.
You guys all like him.
You're all going to love him.
He's a cool guy.
I ain't going, man.
Yeah, I believe that he's cool, but I can't think of an event where I would be willing to go with a random man.
You wouldn't sit courtside of the Lakers?
He's not a random man.
That's an event.
No, I would do.
Stephen Shea vetted him, and we had a good time.
Chicken fry, new hair alert.
Just saying.
Blonde.
Whoa, pink hair.
Pink hair alert.
Chicken fry, new hair alert.
Oh, God, she's hiding.
And cash that for Nikki.
Kind of see the hair.
I want Frank to come tell her something honest about it.
Nope, he went the other way.
Yeah.
But, yeah, I agree with Kyle.
I don't know if there's no disrespect.
Y'all aren't going to go on a date?
God, no.
I think the road ended. I think the road ended.
I think the road ended with you.
I wouldn't go.
I got offered for the Lakers game yesterday with people I know, and I said no.
Well, that's just dumb.
Why would you do that?
I had no interest.
Why?
I don't want to go to a big event on a Tuesday night.
He said that he had a lot going on this weekend.
He had to rest up.
I did.
That was his reasoning.
You had a big weekend ahead of me.
You couldn't go to a game
for two hours on a Tuesday? I'd be sacrificing days off
like that. What do you mean
days off? Nice day of rest.
Nice day of rest. It's Sabbath. It's a night
of rest is what it is. What were you doing at 8 o'clock
last night? With you at 8 o'clock last
night. No, you weren't. I was with you at
7. You went to Triple Crown?
You went to Triple Crown? Yeah.
Wow. We had all the boys over there
I was there too
We had a good time
He was there
We actually didn't expect
To see you guys there
I know it was awkward
It was a little awkward at first
I snuck out with him
Yeah
We broke the tension
We were talking shit
About Tommy
Just about him physically
I care about how he acts
You know he used to have
Really sculpted shoulders though
Like I touched his shoulders
Maybe 18 months ago,
and I felt like I was touching a fucking granite.
It was fucking defined, hard rock.
You would have appreciated it.
I almost got thrown out.
Of the game?
Of the game, yeah.
And it's the damnedest fucking thing,
because we were saying, LeBron,
we were perpendicular to the bench,
and we were about 10 feet away from LeBron,
and when he sat on the bench, we were talking to him.
And we were literally saying nice things to him, and security came over and said,
if you do that again, you're out of here.
I told him, I said, LeBron, my kid loves Space Jam 2.
That's tongue-in-cheek.
Security came over and said, if you say that again, you're out.
That movie sucked, and he knows it.
So he was mad that I was being dishonest.
Maybe.
I don't know.
I thought that you kind of could have gotten away with anything.
Maybe you could have weaseled out of it by saying,
I meant Space Jam T-O-O, like we both liked the first Space Jam.
Yeah.
Enough to emulate it.
Maybe I should have.
It was a fun night.
I appreciate Jinx, and he's great, and he's awesome.
Jinx is a nice guy.
He's a great human being.
Did you bring the cavalry in case he asked you the kidnapping question?
Maybe.
I don't know.
What?
Kidnapping.
I understand, but what do you mean the cavalry?
Brandon brought me as a conversation buffer.
Oh, all the boys to the, yeah.
He said, I'm across the street at the bar, and I said, I'm going to go meet him.
Nick, come with me just in case.
You didn't ask me.
You kidnapped me.
Correct, yes.
I grabbed him by the nape of the neck, and I carried him across like a cat carrying a kitten.
Your teeth.
So if he had kidnapped Nick, that would have proven this whole premise, it would have ruined it.
He's a cool guy.
He is a cool guy.
He likes Barstool, and he likes us, and he just wants, you know, he's a cool guy. He is a cool guy. He likes Barstool, and he likes us, and he just wants, you know, he's a cool guy.
I will say there was a full table gap in between the fellas and Brandon and Jinx.
Yeah.
Well, we were on a date.
He was finger blasting you under the table.
Toe fucking you.
Pat Bev.
What did he say to you?
He was cool.
Who was he autographing?
There was a kid beside me who was just getting every player.
And he came over to autograph, and I didn't know what to say.
So I tried to throw you under the bus.
It was funny.
You were allowed to do that.
What did you say?
I said.
Hey, Pat, I love your podcast.
You need to get rid of Rome, though.
Yeah. Pat, I love your podcast. You need to get rid of Roan, though. Yeah.
Pat, I love your podcast.
You got to get rid of Roan, though.
He said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
Yeah, we had a good night.
That sounds dope.
You text me at 3 a.m.?
3 a.m. is the best night of my life.
Wait, did you really stay in the city?
Yeah. Why? Why would I go home? I, did you really stay in the city? Yeah.
Why?
Why would I go home?
I had to be back here at 10 o'clock.
Why would I just chill here?
Was it your loving wife who probably missed you?
Well, she was at home, though.
She was all the way out there.
She was out of the picture by 3 a.m.
Yeah.
Last night wasn't really a wife night, you know?
It wasn't really a kid's night.
Sometimes you've got to have those.
Too much.
Whoa. What did you do after the game? Because the game ended at you gotta have those. Too much. Whoa.
What'd you do after the game?
Because the game ended at 10 o'clock.
Salute, brother.
Good to see you, man.
Good to see you guys.
Who is that?
He's a tall guy.
He looks really famous.
Actor or some shit.
He does, but...
Uh-oh, there he goes.
Eddie Hearn.
Oh, that's Eddie Hearn.
Oh, fuck.
That's Eddie Hearn.
He does Showtime Boxing, and he's also like the mind behind darts.
No kidding.
Correct.
He's like bringing darts to the United States, which June 3rd.
I got invited to the darts.
We got about 120 tickets.
He had tickets to offload of me, and you were getting them.
We're going to have to buy more.
They're all gone already.
Nick, this is your best outfit of the year.
It's going to get better later.
Me and KB are having a fit off on anus today.
That's what it is then.
What, you got it underneath your shit?
You're about to pull it off like warm-ups?
This is fine, dude.
But not for a fit off.
I've seen you go hard.
Yeah.
We'll see.
Is that a Montclair hat?
Who knows, man.
Is it real or is it Chinatown Monclair?
It is very much Chinatown Monclair.
Yeah.
It was $19, Adam.
That was a real smack in the face.
You must be keeping those guys in business.
How much would that hat be if it were?
$355.
Fuck.
But I bought this because I was wearing Carhartt pants and a Carhartt beanie.
Maresh said, nice outfit.
So I got rid of the Carhartt hat and bought this.
You weren't going for a nice outfit?
I wasn't trying to be all matchy-matchy.
Was it like Canal Street or like a storefront in Chinatown?
It was Canal Street proper.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Damn, it's fun going out there.
We should have a show out on Canal Street.
Or like we should all go out on Canal Street with a hunji and see what we can bring back.
See who's the best haggler.
I'd love to do that.
That's on my wheel, I think.
Yeah?
$100 speed run.
Marvin Hagler?
Can we do it on fucking Canal Street?
Or is it $100 speed run?
Yeah, we can do it there, yeah.
$100 on Canal Street would be great.
You get a lot of Louis V little coin purses.
Yeah, you can run it up, but they'll also try and bang you for like $140 for some shit that you need to haggle down.
Not me.
They know.
They know by my demeanor.
Every time I walk to my car, I'm like,
The West Africans cower when a dick comes by.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
I'm a real dickhead to those guys.
I don't treat them well.
No, I'm just like, all right, I'll just go get it down here for that price I want it
No my brother come back
I'm not your brother
And I never will be
Give me the foam runners
For free
See the stitching these look fake
Damn That would be so dope The key is you gotta talk to a bunch of them See the stitching? These look fake. Damn.
That would be so dope.
The key is you've got to talk to a bunch of them who have the same shit.
Find all the prices that they're talking about.
And you've always got to be like, oh, down here they're talking about 50% off.
Bro, you are yawning, Brandon.
You got fucked.
I'm tired, man.
Whatever, man.
Y'all talking about West Africans.
It's awesome.
We've got to get a black light in here stat yeah them jeans it'll look like it's gonna have like the kool-aid upper lip
just under black but if y'all if y'all don't go on a date he's gonna be mad at me
why so y'all gotta go why it fine. Why would he be mad at you?
What's that?
Nothing.
Mad at me? He's a cool guy.
He's a cool guy.
I would go.
There you go.
That's what I'd like to hear.
Jay, do you think he likes me more than you?
Probably.
I mean, you're a bigger personality.
So, you think he just likes us based on follower count?
So, Ron would be his favorite in the room?
Oh, no, you would be his favorite.
Well, were you on your phone a lot last night?
No.
Oh, because that was a critique of me.
Let's get him on the line.
I would assume he likes Che the most if Che was the first one to go.
I think Che may have been the easiest prey.
Most accessible, yeah.
He's our bait.
Yeah.
And switch to Brandon.
And now maybe, who knows?
I said he's up next.
Is it worth it?
Is it a lot better to be on the floor?
Yes.
It changes everything.
You can hear the comments when players talk shit.
Yeah.
It's hard to go back to normal good seats after you've done that.
And you got a LeBron triple-double.
Got a triple-double last night.
Doesn't he always get a triple-double, though?
He pretty much almost averages one.
First of the season, though.
That was his first of the season, really?
No Pat Pepp playing.
No, but he was – I've never seen a player who wasn't in the game
talking more shit than that guy.
Yeah, he's the best.
He was walking across the court talking shit to fans.
Was he suspended?
I don't know why he wasn't playing.
Injured?
Yeah.
Talking the most shit I've ever seen.
Talking shit to the first row, the third row.
He was all over the place.
Yeah, he goes hard.
He got out a t-shirt cannon, wrote, fuck you on it, got the upper decks.
He was like shooting people right from point blank range with a t-shirt cannon.
Ripped a hole in a dude's chest.
Eddie, bro, Eddie's looking youthful, bro.
I thought he was a goddamn
Hemsworth the way he walked in.
Alright, Eddie.
Good to see you, brother.
He kind of looks like a cooler version of Biz.
And he's British as hell.
Really?
No way.
Oh, yeah.
He's stomping Biz.
Very, very cool.
Very cool dude.
Infuriatingly cool.
I wish I had that
aura to myself.
Did Hemsworth...
You gotta let me
style you, bro.
Yeah.
What would you do?
I'm in Chinatown.
We're going to Chinatown.
Because Chinatown
is close to all
the expensive shit,
but you don't need
to go over there.
Do they have
full clothing?
Do they have
full outfits?
Yeah.
Or is it just the...
They have pants, tops.
Eggs, hats, waffles.
Jackets.
Underwear?
Socks?
I don't know about...
Oh, they do have undies.
I don't know about socks.
Belts for sure.
Oh, yeah.
What the hell is Kate coming in with?
Oh, no.
She got...
Oh, my God.
She made root beer floats.
Oh, hell yeah.
Oh, my God.
Root beer floats.
What's up here?
Some of them are pink, Kate.
There's two pink.
I'm going to contact him on your asses.
Ooh.
I want to find a pong ball and make it like the arcade game
where whichever one we get it in is the one you get.
There's probably one in the PMT room.
Yeah, in the PMT on the lottery machine.
Or the old stadium.
Oh, yeah, the lottery.
Hell, yes.
Those are little holes, though.
That's a lot of little holes.
Hypophobia.
What do you think the pink is?
I don't know.
Do you think she had the foresight to get straws?
Yeah, I was thinking that.
Yeah, she brought in a big bag of straws.
Oh, okay.
They're like fun straws.
Are they penis straws?
Ain't no way they're dick straws.
They're just crazy.
They're just crazy.
For her, she's going to be a fun mom.
She already is a mom.
Can't be fun when your kid's an infant.
Yeah, exactly.
That kid can't experience the fun.
The kid has no idea whether she's fun or not.
You can't tussle with your pooch yet, can you?
Oh, I fucking brawl with this bitch.
Yeah?
Like closed fists.
Beat the shit out of her? You're winning. One day, though, she'll get you. Oh, no. She. Beat the shit out of her.
No, you're winning.
One day, though,
she'll get you.
Oh, no,
she already is ripping me out.
She made me bleed
my own blood
more than I've made her bleed.
And yet,
you still just don't send
pics to the Yak group.
I sent one yesterday
and no one reacted.
We were on the show.
Kate in person,
Kate was like,
your dog's cute
after the show.
We were on the show.
Whatever,
we could have put it
on the fucking Jumbotron
and fucking had the crowd go wild. It's a 52-inch We could have put it on the fucking Jumbotron and had the crowd go wild.
It's a 52-inch TV.
Tommy Smokes was on the Jumbotron last night I saw.
Yeah.
52 inches?
Maybe 55?
Maybe 53.
They don't sell them in 53.
They don't really sell them in 52 or 53.
52, 55, that's standard?
I don't think 52 is.
55 is.
What do you think that one is?
56.
That's 32.
It's 32?
No, it's 27. I got a 32 at home. Yikes. Everything do you think that one is? 56. That's 32. It's 32? No.
27.
I got a 32 at home.
Yikes.
Everything all right, bro?
It's good.
You want to play video games on a smaller TV.
Oh, you don't.
Yes, you do.
Why?
Because it's way, because it's, yeah, it moves faster.
You need it all in your vision. There's a delay.
Is that right?
32 is super big, though.
32 is super big?
32 is too big for a video game?
Do you play on a computer monitor, then?
Yeah, 24.
Wait.
No. That's, that's. Wait, is that 32?
That's probably 27.
I like to live my video game.
I like to be all up in here.
But I only play sports games.
You suck at it, bro.
I only play sports games.
You're not competitive.
I sit probably 12 inches away from the monitor.
That's weird.
Yeah, they don't get those essays anymore that you're going to go cross-eyed.
I feel like mummies don't say that anymore. We're throwing balls into the glasses? Yeah, I guess. I don't get those essays anymore that you're going to go cross-eyed. I feel like mummies don't say that anymore.
We're throwing balls into the glasses?
Yeah, I guess.
I don't know.
From where we sit or do we have to get closer?
I think it's where we sit.
Yeah, where we sit.
Go ahead, Kate.
Passing it around.
This could take forever.
Our own throw.
Now we're going to get the...
It's Civil War rules.
Okay.
But the ice cream doesn't melt.
Were there rules in the Civil War?
Civil War, the drinking game, not the war.
Oh, this is going to take forever.
I heard some bad things about the Civil War. I had, the drinking game, not the war. Oh, this is going to take forever.
I heard some bad things about the Civil War. I had leftover fish bowls from the tank race.
Yeah, you have to drink two root beer floats.
So some of them are Snickers ice cream with coffee.
Some of them are plain root beer.
Yeah, you could just take one.
Here's straws.
All right, all right.
We got to get more balls.
All right. We could also get more balls. All right.
And then there's Japanese mochi, rice-wrapped ice cream, and pink Mountain Dew.
Japanese mochi?
I guess.
Do you think that, Kate, when your kids are of drinking age, you'll make fun cocktails
for them at home so they don't have to go out
before they turn 21
crazy story
on my 21st birthday
it's not that crazy
like all my friends
like people traveled
to come to my house
to come pregame
and hang out
my parents were really strict
about drinking
so everyone else
was allowed to pregame
but I didn't turn 21
till midnight
so my parents didn't let me drink
at my own pregame
for my
come on now.
Yep.
Fuck them, folks.
So now you have to do it to kind of...
To make up for it, I have to, yeah.
Wet.
Brandon, let me get a shot.
I swear I wasn't coughing when I was making those.
I did take a COVID test.
It's negative.
Luckily, the root beer is in a time-sensitive drink.
I just missed.
Also, none of us took the vaccine, right?
No.
The old clot shot?
Nah.
Saw Jersey Jerry's vaccine.
Yeah.
I was waiting for someone to say something was that an
unprompted tweet yeah yeah so much funnier
okay the funniest part was someone commented and was like uh they're like what about your
grandma did she get the vaccine he was like yeah she's dead yeah yeah yeah so you do the math
i hugged her him twice and i don't think it can go in.
This is a carnival game.
This is a carnival.
What has Jerry been up to?
He's literally the face of NCAA wrestling.
No kidding.
Are you pissed?
Everyone's coming out of the woodwork.
No, I think it's great.
Yeah, it's great.
He's a good personality for it.
Oh, it went in again.
That's the only person they're talking about.
Did you guys touch on the deep fake porn?
No.
No, I was talking about that.
That's crazy.
Pretty fucked up, though.
Yeah.
The people defending that are kind of sick.
You think?
Yeah.
No way.
You don't think that.
I do.
You're a liar.
Cut the cameras.
No, I thought the video was one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.
A guy crying?
Twitch streamer.
No, with his wife crying in the background.
They're both crying.
He just like, I don't even.
He's actually demanded to be on camera.
Oh, yeah.
You need to be.
Both of them just bawling their eyes out.
I don't think a lot of people know, but that guy, H-Rock, lives with one of the girls that
was on the site.
Oh, really?
They live in the same house.
He lives with Ludwig, and he's dating this girl, Cutie, that was on that site. Oh, really? They live in the same house. He lives with Ludwig and he's dating this girl, Cutie,
that was on that site.
Oh, my God.
So it's, like, way more of, like, an issue
for them, I guess.
Yeah.
So how did he get...
He got caught...
Originally, I thought his wife
just made him do that,
but was it...
They found...
He was streaming, yeah.
He, like, he switched tabs
and somebody, like, screenshotted,hotted the single frame where he was switching tabs
and zoomed in on all the tabs, and one of them was a deepfake site.
And then they went further and they DMed the deepfake site for proof of what he was looking at.
Why would the deepfake site be like, yeah, he was fucking doing it, that scumbag?
You're the deepfake site.
Yeah, the deepfake site has since apologized and shut the whole website down also.
We forgive you, deepfake site.
Deepfake sites have been around.
Yeah.
What?
Lazy Lohan?
Britney Spears?
Yeah.
She was a titular.
She had her own.
So you can't look at that anymore.
Why?
It's like frowned upon well apparently it
is an invasion imagine if there was a video of your face over a guy getting butt fucked
yeah and it looks super hyper real if i knew that existed of you i i mean yeah it'd be hilarious
but it's very yeah watch it every day and laugh oh shit i forget what flavors are which and what what things are which i uh
yeah i remember like i didn't know what deep fake porn was and i was i remember it like when i first
got like a phone i would just look up a celebrity and then naked and then it would come up with deep
fakes and i'd be like this is crazy like everyone's just fully naked online back then those celebrities
were the only hot girls i knew of yeah i didn't know about porn now celebrities were the only hot girls I knew of. Yeah. I didn't know about porn.
No.
Celebrities were the only hot girls until when?
05?
No.
I think it was...
Like 2014.
14?
Yeah.
Because the social media was just localized until then.
Sorry, Ryan.
Yeah, but Girls Gone Wild videos did like billions of videos.
Yeah, but those were like in the celebrity status to me.
Those are canceled too.
Oh, yeah.
Is that guy in jail?
Those should have been canceled.
Those are crazy.
Girls Gone Wild?
Yeah.
I used to crank it to the commercials.
Yeah.
I used to crank it to the Adam and Eve commercials in between uh south park episodes when i was like i think probably in seventh grade
yeah the ashley madison yeah ads on the radio on sirius xm were so hot monogamy meets monotony
i can't i can't wait can we listen to that I want to
we can off to a radio commercial
yeah I also don't understand
why anyone would
jerk off to
fake porn
I can't imagine
that's like enjoyable
right
well it's like when you're on
that's one thing
I can't imagine
yeah I absolutely
can't imagine it
but it's like when you're
scrolling the little hub and above it it's's like an ad for family guy porn.
And I'm like, who is clicking that?
But people are clicking that.
Yeah, 100%.
That's more of a curiosity.
Yeah.
That's what that guy said, right?
He said he clicked on it because he was curious?
Yeah, but that was just a lie.
Apparently he was paying for it.
Oh, geez.
No, he wasn't curious.
They messaged the deepfake site.
He was on there for four and a half minutes.
How was it, Brandon?
Delicious.
It's delicious, but it's so hard to drink.
The straws are a lot.
If you have it in your lap, it makes it...
What are the brown ones?
What's the pink ones?
There's one root beer float that has chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.
There's a coffee one with Snickers ice cream.
There's a root beer one with Snickers ice cream.
Coffee with Snickers.
There's a pink Mountain Dew with strawberry ice cream
and a pink Mountain Dew with mochi ice cream.
These straws are crazy.
I know.
These were my original intention
for the tank race. I thought we could sit around
with these like a hookah here.
And then there's like a weird new Pepsi flavor
one with like nitro Pepsi vanilla.
And there's a...
Coffee thing? I don't know.
I don't know what it was. I just grabbed it.
They had downstairs in
Walgreens or whatever that is.
The ice cream was locked.
I had to get an attendant to unlock the ice cream.
Everything's locked in that motherfucker.
And I said, why?
They said, but all the other food was not locked except for the ice cream.
And she said it's like the highest thing in there.
Not the highest, but like of the food section.
Ice cream.
Like whole big ass boxes.
That's a life I could live.
People that work there have it bad.
Every single week you come in and there's just a cardboard over the door
because someone exploded through the door.
Yeah.
Every single week.
Yeah.
Getting assigned to that.
They repair it and then someone goes right through it the next night.
It's crazy.
How and why, though?
Because they're breaking in.
Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
Someone breaks in there once a week.
No, I thought they have a metal thing in front of it.
It goes down.
I think people are just psychos
throwing their body through the glass.
Yeah, probably.
We're pretty close to ground zero for psychos.
Not ground zero, just ground zero for psychos.
This is delicious, though.
It's delicious, thank you, but it's tricky.
You've got the coffee one, it looks like.
No, I think it's chocolate.
I got a coffee.
I think mine is coffee with something else.
Yeah, do you think that...
Why do you think that ice cream is so stolen?
Because it's so damn tasty?
Because it's accessible?
Because it's calorie rich?
Do you carry around a spoon?
Do you steal a spoon?
That's what I mean.
Are you just licking it?
Yeah.
Do you bare hand in coffee
in the wintertime?
I talked to Mr.
Making Money about you.
Oh.
Oh, you got to chill with him?
He's a good guy.
Yeah, he's great.
Yeah.
Loves KP.
You guys are best friends.
Tells me that in person,
but does he keep that energy
with other people?
Oh, big time.
He was listed off
his favorite employees.
Doesn't adjust the ranking. And he kept on adjusting the rankings, and you were always in it. time. He was listed off his favorite employees. Doesn't adjust the rankings.
And he kept on adjusting the rankings, and you were always in it.
Crazy.
He was showing me, like, long DM conversations.
What was his other rankings?
Who were the other ones?
Weren't you?
I don't know.
Who were the rest?
You like Tyler Miller?
I like Tyler Miller a lot.
Like him and Tyler putting, like, maybe a 17-hour shift the one day.
Like they were at the bar in the morning, and, like.
Those two love to burn.. Like, they were at the bar in the morning, and like... Those two love to burn.
Yeah, and they were burning.
But Mr. Making Money, for someone who loves to burn,
very white teeth.
Oh, yeah.
Very white teeth.
Really white teeth.
But I think he said he stopped drinking coffee.
He switched over to matcha.
He grinds up matcha in the mornings.
It was my first time meeting him.
Sass, you ever met him?
I have, yeah.
I met him at the company party last year
Good guy
Oh bro he did not say the same about you
Oh really?
Why are you just bringing us all bad news?
No I just brought KB really good news
Yeah but then you just turned on me and Sass
I would be shocked if he said anything about me
No he liked you
You weren't in his top
I don't think you were in his top five the only one
i consistently remember being in all of his top fives was you there's no way i was in his top five
we talked for like 30 seconds that's all you need with sassy yeah that's all you get
unless you're paying you got 30 seconds to wow
you got 15 you get 45.
I'm so distracted by this drink.
It's really good.
It's a real treat.
This is your sign to go out and make yourself a flip today.
Pretty blatant sign.
It's pretty in your face.
I don't know.
It looks like he's going in.
Mr. Bower's got a sweet tooth all the time.
Someone try the strawberry one.
You want the strawberry?
What was the strawberry?
It sounded like you said sushi was in it or some shit.
Yeah, sushi.
That's the one that had the mochi balls in it.
Oh, mochi balls.
Sushi balls.
I thought you said sushi balls for some reason.
No, it's like sweetened rice, something wrapped around ice cream.
They're little balls.
I can get full off sushi.
You can too.
Oh, me too.
I don't know why there's this more full.
I get full quicker off sushi.
It's a good full too.
It's a healthy full.
Yeah, and I feel like there's a stigma that you don't get.
The same exact shit happened to me.
How many rolls do you buy when you get sushi?
I get two.
I get one big one, and then I get one small one.
I do that, too.
One special one and one just standard.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or no, sometimes I'll do a big one of standard and then a special one of small.
Really?
I'll do shrimp tempura. Yeah. Really? I'll do like shrimp tempura.
Yeah.
Small.
I don't want shrimp tempura.
Well, it just doesn't feel like I'm having sushi.
It's the best way for me to have kids also eat the sushi if I have shrimp tempura in it.
We had chicken tender sushi in Morgantown.
Really?
Yeah, it was great.
That's what I like.
Is sushi healthy?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
When I eat sushi, I'm like, I feel healthy.
Oh, yeah.
What's great, Steven?
You feel incredibly healthy.
Everything's good.
I mean, it's not good to have that much rice, but the rest of it is good.
So, like, sashimi especially is good for you.
I once had six special rolls, and that was one of the last times I almost threw up from food.
Six?
It was.
Why did you get six?
I went to an all-you-can-eat, all-you-can-drink place,
and then it's like you pay for what you don't eat.
You're trying to prove how Asian you are or something?
It's a lot of...
It was a lot, yeah.
How much sake?
We'll take you to your table.
No thanks.
I'll sit on the floor.
Quite a bit.
I've never been drunk off sake.
I think the only time I've ever had sake was with you.
Koreatown?
Yeah, we used to go to Koreatown.
We used to go there all the time.
We should have a sake drinking show.
No race.
Just to see if we can get drunk.
We should just hire a hibachi chef.
Yeah, why don't we race all the time?
That'd be awesome. Hibachi is fun. Yeah, why don't we race that time? That would be awesome.
Hibachi is fun.
Yeah, it is.
I've never caught the meat.
Really?
Never caught the meat.
I can't catch things in my mouth.
Not good at it.
Never learned.
Yeah, me too.
They never even throw it to me because they know I'm not going to catch it.
They see you missing your straw.
This is not a joke.
Aren't you really good at catching food in your mouth?
Yes.
You are. I've seen you do that before, right? I know. Yes. Yes, good at catching food in your mouth? Yes. You are.
I've seen you do that before, right?
I know.
Yes.
Yes, I am.
I don't like to brag.
I don't get the logic behind it.
I don't get how you know where your mouth is.
I can throw shit up like crazy high and catch it in my mouth.
It's crazy that dogs are just so good at that.
They use their mouth for a lot more things.
Yeah.
You can throw your dog anything and they catch it in their mouth.
They can't shoot with their hands, though.
If you've got peanut butter stuck to you, I'm also...
What?
What?
I was saying I catch stuff in my mouth and you're like,
dogs are really good at that.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Peanut butter and stuff.
That was a good rumor.
That was always a rumor in everyone's school.
Yeah, but every one, every area had a specific person.
Yeah.
How did it end up on them?
Because they probably did it.
Yeah, probably.
There was always a girl who did that with her dog.
There was always a girl whose pussy ripped down to her asshole.
There was always the starburst
in the pussy.
Wait, what? The starburst?
The Jolly Rancher.
The house party where someone gets fucked in the ass
and then shit's everywhere.
The guy who did acid and turned into orange
juice.
What's the Jolly Rancher thing?
To put it in the pussy to have a more flavorful
munch. Oh, for a guy to eat. pussy to have a more flavorful munch and then mistake
a herpes sack
for a piece of candy
and then bite it off.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, I've heard that one.
I've never heard that one.
I've only heard that from you.
We've drilled that in our minds.
I've heard that from you.
Ours was all the same girl.
Damn.
Crazy, crazy
high school experience.
Hmm.
Ooh, the herpes sack one
is disgusting.
That's terrible. Yeah. We've talked about it before.. Ooh, the herpes sack one is disgusting. That's terrible.
Yeah.
We've talked about it before
that there was always like
herpes rumors in high school too
like, oh, they have herpes.
No, they've
they've fucked one
they fucked one person
and that person was a virgin.
Right.
Yeah.
Well, they're dirty.
Their pussy's loose.
Loose pussy.
Yeah, that was a good one.
Loose sack.
I remember there would be like
a girl that had sex once
and everyone would be like,
yeah, it's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
Yeah.
All pussy's loose.
I've never felt anything.
Choose the left or the right wall to run.
Run your back on her like a bear.
It's fun being a girl.
Yeah, people in high school are mean.
Yeah, they are.
I guarantee every one of those ruined the girl's life.
Oh yeah, 100%.
Like it ruined her.
It probably gave her lasting psychological
damage that she carries
to this day.
Kyle, you didn't like your...
The straw's tough.
I know, those were the only straws I had.
By the way, Booth,
there's three for you.
There's three for Booth.
You're feeling squirrely.
Don't grab a crazy straw.
Yeah, just drink it right out of the bowl, I'd say.
You can never tell.
It's nice drinking it out of the bowl, though.
I finished mine.
It was really good.
I finished mine, too.
Very refreshing.
Thank you, Kate.
Thank you, Kate.
That was so nice of you.
We were all talking about it.
I know.
Not into my mind. You're a great doer, and you Thank you, Kate. That was so nice of you. We were all talking about it. I know. Not into my mind.
You're a great doer, and you also have great ideas.
Well, I like doing stuff, and this show gives me an excuse to do those things.
Right.
Come up with an idea.
It's been pretty exciting.
Oh, yes.
Pretty exciting for me.
Fucking Stephen Chair wearing a Tom Brady shirt today is pretty funny.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm assuming you guys talked about it on Pick Central.
A little bit, yeah.
What do you guys think?
He's the GOAT.
He's the GOAT.
Did he announce?
I guess I'll wait for Che to get back,
but did Che also announce that he is quitting the TB12 diet as of now?
It's over?
He's retiring from the TB12 diet forever?
No more.
Oh, God.
You okay?
What happened?
Got my webbing pinched.
What a way to say that.
Got my ass webbing pinched.
How long were you on TB12?
11 months.
I think like March 7th.
So you lost almost...
You lost what?
Almost a pound a month?
That ain't worth it.
Yeah, was it worth it?
Just get the flu.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Or start smoking cigarettes.
I'm pretty much as lean as I'm going to be without not eating.
So, yeah, it was worth it.
That was the biggest failure of this show's history.
What are you talking about?
You did that so he would have another chance at winning a Super Bowl
and he got washed in the first round of the playoffs after barely making it.
Yeah, but I'm in great shape now.
I mean, it's awesome that you got in great shape.
Are you in any better shape than you already were?
I feel like you've always been in pretty good shape.
You've always looked like this.
No, I've dropped fairly significant weight for me since last year.
I mean, I went from 201.2 to 188 flat,
which is like that's less than I weighed my senior year of college.
You think walking on an incline on the treadmill could have given him the same result?
No, I could have gotten slightly better results if I did more cardio.
My cardio wasn't great the past couple months.
But, yeah, I'm happy with where I'm at.
My goal is 185, so I didn't fully get there.
But I'm happy I can...
Balloon back up now.
I'll probably get to 193-ish and hopefully stay around there.
But, yeah, I was happy with it.
Hell, yes, man.
Well, I'm sorry for your loss.
That sucks.
It's okay.
I mean, honestly, I was probably more devastated when the season was over.
Now it's like, all right, it's February 1st.
We've got a lot of time to evaluate draft prospects, go through all that stuff.
So, free agency to draft.
We'll see what's next.
It's a new beginning, which is almost refreshing.
I can't wait for the draft.
Yeah.
It's going to be fucking awesome, man.
It's going to be dope.
We're going to do a big show this year, too.
Yeah.
Yeah, it'll be great.
Big blowout.
I actually placed the bet yesterday
that i heard uh an interesting tip um and it probably won't come true but it's it's worth
sprinkling a few bucks on uh on one of the latest move the sticks podcast daniel jeremiah said that
he talked to a plugged in guy who was a gm and he said he wouldn't be surprised if anthony richardson
went one overall no absolutely not that not. That can't happen.
He said at the end of the process, he's like,
there are teams that have him rated above others,
and there's a chance.
And he's 100-1 right now.
I said like two weeks ago that he'd be like a top 15 guy,
and people laughed me out of the room.
I think if you're going to take Richardson,
you should instead put your money on Levis, because Levis is about to blow the combine out of the room. I think if you're going to take Richardson, you should instead put your money on Levis because
Levis is about to blow the combine out of the
fucking water.
He can't throw in a game, but in a
combine, in shorts, he's
going to be 6'4", 230
and he's going to throw the ball 60 yards.
How come some people do the
combine and some people don't?
Because some people feel like they've got
nothing to gain yeah yeah okay
it's not bad they think they need it enough good stuff on tape yeah so it's fully optional
most i would say 95 of players do it though yeah if you're like a top 10 guy you probably don't
have to if you're solidified at your position but most guys are gonna do let's think who's not
gonna do it this year i'm brady. I can see Bryce Young not doing it.
Like, just look at my film.
Because he's not going to be impressive in a combine.
Right.
He's going to just look small.
That pro day is probably going to fuck him. He's going to have small hands.
Like, everything's going to be small about him.
Zach Wilson did a combine?
Yes.
That's where he shined, right?
I thought his pro day is where he shined.
He did his pro day, too.
Okay.
A lot of quarterbacks, like, will not throw or something like that
because they want more time with their specific positional coach to go over that.
He's been doing it for fucking 15 years.
Look at us talking sports.
I know.
Kate, you want to sing a song?
No, but exciting thing.
Somebody just tagged me on Twitter.
I forgot it's my month on the calendar.
It's the snail outside of Cole's month on the ad calendar.
So shout out to everybody.
Yeah.
I love that that's up in someone's office right now.
It was January.
Cole's really got top billing.
They really did.
January was KB as Jesus on a casting couch.
Huge thanks to Chelsea for reminding me of this.
It's just a delight. Well well you really and I'll say it
look at that ass I've met a I've met a surprising number of uh girl yakkers on twitter and in the
wild I'm telling you my dms I is it I want lady yak merch I picture like a like the pink ladies
kind of jacket but it says lady yak with like a sexy yak on it.
Or a fucking dildo.
Or just a big dildo.
Yeah, I like that.
Yeah.
Working on it.
We're going to start coming up with some stuff because our 500th YouTube episode, I think, is in March.
Oh.
Which I think somebody at one point said we would do for 12 hours.
Yeah, I think Big Cat said that.
We're going to come up with something cool to sell to the people.
I'm going to sell something inconvenient.
When in March? Mid-March. I think it's like. We've got to come up with something cool to sell to the people. I'm going to sell something inconvenient. When in March?
Mid-March.
I think it's right before the tournament starts.
Do you think we could sell 100 Yak dishwashers?
No.
Dishwashers?
I think we could sell one.
I bet we could.
Greer would buy it.
Yeah, he would.
Clifty Martino.
Clifty Martino.
Clifty Martino would buy it.
Well, fucking Jinx would buy it.
Yeah. Actually, we talkedx would buy it. Yeah.
Actually, yeah, we talked about merch the other day.
Some cool ideas on the horizon.
Standby.
A tungsten lady yak statue.
Oh, yeah.
What about a tungsten shirt?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like a tungsten cube for women.
A hat that has a really long tungsten brim.
Yeah, so Pilar actually sent me an email.
She's meeting with long brim vendors.
You have to be odd folk.
Yeah.
You've been experimenting with brims, right?
You had a short brim.
TJ got me the short brim, yeah.
Joey Kamasta took that from me.
He looks great.
Didn't TJ get you the long brim too? TJ got me the real long brim. TJ, why are you trying short brim, yeah. Joey Kamasta took that from me. He looks great. Didn't TJ get you the long brim, too?
TJ got me the real long brim.
TJ, why are you trying to brim him?
He likes me.
I figured he would appreciate that type of gift the most.
Sure did.
Sure did.
I buy you stuff.
Again, on January 9th, you presented me my gift, which was a Santa Claus figurine.
I loved that. You broke it. Y'all broke it. I didn't break it. which was a Santa Claus figurine. I loved that.
You broke it.
Y'all broke it.
I didn't break it.
I had no part in breaking it.
Somebody broke it.
Thanks, Sass.
I'll get you one.
Thank you.
I would have put that in my apartment. You'll get him a Santa Claus figurine with Mississippi State on it.
Sounds like he appreciated it.
I did appreciate it.
I appreciate it, too.
I love Mississippi State.
I like getting gifts.
Still got to get you that shirt.
I got Roan a hat, and he never wears it.
But that was to buy me out of other things.
You really want to buy me something?
Buy me a crew neck.
You know what, Roan?
You bought me a braided belt.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What a chain of events.
What just happened?
I wear the braided belt every day.
How did that happen?
Oh, man.
Oh, fuck.
Why is my chair doing that?
You broke your chair.
You just broke the chair.
Oh, my God. It's collapsing. Oh, man. Oh, fuck. Why is my chair doing that? You broke your chair. You just broke the chair. Oh, my God.
It's collapsing.
Oh, dude.
You broke the chair, spilled the water,
and hung you on some cartoon slapstick.
Some live action shit.
What are you doing?
I was trying for him to kick over the root beer float.
Oh, man.
I think the best part was how he just tried to steamroll through it
like nothing happened.
Finish the sentence.
Look at the Tommy John.
The whole wheel snapped off.
Look at that fabric belt.
Look at that belt.
BFW, big, fat waist.
Yuck.
Who else sits in that chair?
It's only him.
Really.
Smitty sometimes, or Smitty was sitting in it on Monday.
Who was sitting in it yesterday?
Smitty does pick Central.
Marty sat in it today.
It wasn't Marty.
It's got to be me.
Hey, Steven, are you embarrassed about your TB12 diet?
Snap.
It must be embarrassing.
Who sits here during the bracket?
Me.
So it's me.
It's always me.
This is devastating.
I think sometimes it's not how much you weigh, but I think it's how hard you sit.
Yeah.
I think some people really sit down hard.
Do you think I sit hard?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Are you sitting differently today?
There I did sit hard because I leaned up.
And when people really like just plunge into the fucking couch or.
We have a king size bed.
Pat snapped all the ribs of it underneath.
By doing what? fucking couch or we have a king-size bed pat snapped all the ribs of it underneath i just i do what he's he like he like flopped down on it and now they're all like snapped on his side
underneath yeah that that then you then you sink in yeah and then you sink in a new bed frame right
i did that once in uh high school i gave a a wrestling buddy a suplex off a mini trampoline
onto my bed and i broke the bed frame.
That had to be a cool moment, though.
Very cool until I heard the bed collapse,
and that was a very disgusting realization of what I was doing.
You've got a little ice cream mouth, brother.
Sorry, it was a tasty float.
Me and Sass have a meeting at 2 o'clock. We do.
Firing day With Erica
And Kyle just got out of ours
Been taking some long looks around
Ours was about Sass
Yeah
They told us to pick three people each that we wanted out
Are you guys going in together?
Yep
I already have one
It's a podcast
Like
Oh okay
End of year meeting I have one separate I think this is I don't know what this is Yep. I already have mine, but I kind of... It's a podcast, like, end-of-year meeting.
I have one separate.
I think this is a... I don't know what this is.
I think it's kind of like the end of Mice and Men,
where he sits the guy down,
and he tells him, like,
oh, go look out to the pasture, how beautiful it is.
And they have his best friend,
who has to shoot him in the back of the head.
This is going to be a top-ten betrayal.
You're going to walk into the room,
there's going to be three seats, and then one HR is supposed to be there the head. This is going to be a top ten betrayal. You're going to walk into the room. There's going to be three seats.
HR's supposed to be there.
It's going to be like Goodfellas when Tommy gets made.
Yeah.
Stass is dressed all nice.
Hey Ma, how do I look?
I'm going to shoot him in the back of the head.
Or what are they, a triangle with Tommy?
No, they shoot him in the face.
We could have an open casket. You did get that, hey Ma, how do I look? No, they shoot him in the face. We couldn't have an open...
You did get that, hey, Ma, how do I look?
Quote wrong, though.
How did he say it?
Henry says that. Henry Hill says that.
I didn't even know it was an actual quote.
I was just kind of doing more of my impression of you as him.
Wrong.
I wouldn't have messed it up.
I think he goes, where is everybody?
He doesn't say anything. I think he goes, where is everybody? He doesn't say
anything. I think he says
something. He says, oh no.
Oh no. Wow.
Can we pull it up? I think he says, where is
everybody? He says, oh no.
No way. They wouldn't have him say that.
Watch. You're about to get embarrassed.
I'll do the same thing to my friend Adam.
Thank you, brother.
We would never shit on each other like that. He says, oh no. I'm not sh same thing to my friend Adam. Thank you, brother. And that's why we're brothers. That's why we would never shit on each other like that.
He says, oh, no.
I'm not shitting, bro.
I'm just trying to check my boys.
We're talking awful cocky.
I was.
I was right about the, hey, how do I look part, though.
I'm cool going one for one.
We see two.
One and one.
Well, I don't know much.
Well, I know I love Aaron Neville, yeah.
That may be all I need to know.
That's one of my favorite scenes of Scrubs.
What?
Turk is in the elevator singing that song to himself.
Oh, really?
Into his voice recorder.
It's such a great song, especially when you see what Aaron Neville looks like.
Yeah, and that thing on his eye.
What the hell's he got on his eye?
Thing on his eye.
He's got a thing on his eye.
You know he has a thing on his eye.
Don't make me call out the thing on his eye.
I was too blown away by the rest of his look.
I started Frasier last night.
That's a good decision.
Oh, yeah.
I'm about to be a Frasier head.
Well, did you see?
They're starting to record.
They're starting it over. They're doing new Frasier. They're doing new Frasier? Yeah, they rewrote. Oh, yeah. I'm about to be a Frasier head. Well, did you see? They're starting to record. They're starting it over.
They're doing new Frasier.
They're doing new Frasier?
What the hell am I doing?
They wrote a whole new whatever, and they're starting.
You know what?
This is what sucks about Bill Cosby raping those women.
No, no.
Because we've gotten a new Full House, a new Night Court, a new Frasier.
We're getting new everything.
I would have had a new Cosby show.
I would have had a new Theo.
I don't think you want it.
I do. Why? Because I want show. I would have had new Theo. I don't think you want it. I do.
Why?
Because I want to see what Theo and Rudy are doing.
Did Rudy marry Kenny?
In my mind, she did.
But I don't know.
New Fresh Prince.
New That 70s Show.
I knew everything.
Why are sitcom adult men always so rich?
Yeah, like rich enough that they can do.
Because we're supposed to idolize them.
Two and a half men.
Their house is preposterous.
It's on like a block in Malibu.
Frazier's apartment is loco. Well, Frazier's a psychiatrist. But he's a radio scientist.
Psychiatrists don't make that much money. He was a psychiatrist in
Boston. I feel like that's where those people
in Boston... Those people in Boston, they find
out for that stupid shit. All rich.
He was a doctor. That's why, King of Queens.
That's alright.
You like Niles? I like Niles.
I'm only on episode four.
Love Roz.
What you're going to do is you're going to watch Frasier and you're going to love it.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Then you're going to have to go back and watch Scrubs.
We're watching it.
I've seen Scrubs a lot.
Not Scrubs.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
I think he might say nothing.
He says, oh, no.
I believe you.
I believe you, Brandon.
Oh, no. Ah. I believe you I believe you Brandon oh no ah Brandon
yeah
shit
scared the shit out of me
he's gone
I've actually never seen the movie
he's gone
spoiler alert
what do you mean what I mean. He's gone. And we couldn't do nothing about it.
That's it.
What do you mean?
All right, I think that's it.
He's gone.
Let's finish it.
Let's just watch the rest of the movie.
It is such a good movie from what I've heard.
See how they zoomed in there? I only saw it for the first time like two years ago.
Really?
I watched it a lot since.
There's nothing we could do about it.
Very rewatchable movie.
It's a long movie. A lot happens. There's nothing we could do about it. Very rewatchable movie. It's a long movie.
A lot happens.
I always forget about the whole cocaine part.
Yeah, a lot happens.
Are there any sports parts in that?
Can you review that?
Or is that one you just can't touch?
I don't think I can touch that one.
Would you rate it as re-crouchable?
It's very re-crouchable.
Very re-crouchable.
There's no sports.
You could do Godfather 2, though.
Doesn't Hyman Roth watch football?
He goes to Hyman Roth's house and he's watching footballfather 2, though. Doesn't Hyman Roth watch football?
He goes to Hyman Roth's house and he's watching football?
Oh, no, never seen it.
Are you allowed to watch Quidditch movies?
My favorite genre of film.
Victor Crumb flicks.
Biopics of Victor Crumb. Me and Clem are actually in this room at 3 o'clock recording the first episode.
We're going to go back
and rebuild everything.
What movie is it about?
You probably can't tell us.
I can't tell you.
I'm sorry.
The first episode of what exactly?
The concept,
the podcast formerly known
as Chris Clemmer's,
Chris Clemmer Presents
the Recrochables,
Two Nuts Talking Ball,
a sports movie podcast
featuring Brandon Walker.
Wait, it's not called that anymore?
No, it's going to be called something else.
Tell me it's not replay.
It's not, but Nick came up with the idea.
With the name?
Ultimate Betrayal.
I came up with the name, but he came up with the idea
that led to the name, correct?
What's the idea?
Ultimate Betrayal.
So we're going to Do two movies Per episode
One good
One shitty
But
They're always the same sport
They're always the same sport
Oh
I like that
Because like
If I don't give a fuck
About Sandlot
I'm not gonna listen
To the Sandlot
If you saw
If you saw my
Twitter the other night
I had a scene
From the movie Ed
Which was Matt LeBlanc
With a chimpanzee
Third baseman
So that was the good
Baseball movie
That was the bad one Yes that was the good baseball movie.
That was the bad one. Yes.
That was the bad one.
So now we won't be able to talk about the show on this show.
We never talked about Friends.
The women on Friends in the 90s did Office Space,
Romeo and Michelle's High School Reunion, Scream,
and the men on Friends had the worst movies in the entire decade.
What was Phoebe doing, though?
Romeo and Michelle's High School Reel.
Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah.
I've never seen it.
Then Courtney Cox was on Scream.
Jennifer Aniston did Office Space.
Well, I mean, let's face it.
People watched Friends because those women were hot,
not because the show was good, not because anybody was funny.
It was.
Early on, it was very, very fucking good, very funny.
And Chandler Bing is an all-time character.
It's a very, it was very good for a while.
Who's been the most successful guy from Friends?
Paul Rudd.
Wow.
Michael Rappaport.
Yeah.
Wasn't Brad Pitt.
Brad Pitt.
Yeah, wasn't Brad Pitt dating Jennifer Aniston in it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
A dog.
That son of a bitch.
Hebro was in it, wasn't he?
You think he's more successful than Brad Pitt?
No, but I'm saying successful guys.
Oh, you count Brad Pitt as a Friends cast member.
Bro, that show sucked.
I liked it.
It didn't suck.
I actually watched a couple seasons.
The first three seasons are fantastic.
Some of the first season episodes are classics.
The Leather Pants episode was great.
The Prom Video episode is incredible.
I walked in on Roan bent over laughing
when Joey got the turkey stuck on him.
Fuck you, Nick.
The one where he whitens his teeth.
I don't know if that's all.
That one's great.
Poker episode.
Why aren't you guys saying any of the jokes, just the episodes?
There's a scene where
he whitens his teeth. I forget what the guy's name is,
but he whitens his teeth and then
he goes over to some girl's
house and she has a blue light
and he smiles and his teeth
are radiating
through the room. It's so funny.
Once a month, I am...
Once a month
There's this Twitter account in Brazil
Oh yeah I know
Once a month it says
The world's most engaging journalists, pundits and satirists
On Twitter
And it always tags me
And I'm right above Greta Thunberg
And it's an account in Brazil
What's the account name?
Brazil Sharlab Sounds like it's an account in Brazil. What's the account name? Brazil Sharlab.
Sounds like it's probably just a robot.
Probably, but it's just World's Most Engaging Journalist, Pundits, and Satirist.
And there's I am Steve Harvey.
There's Greta Thunberg.
And there's me.
Congrats.
Thanks.
That's a big deal.
I don't know how it got there.
Yeah, it's definitely a robot. I got to retweet the one that has me. Congrats. Thanks. That's a big deal. I don't know how I got there.
It's definitely a robot.
I got to retweet the one that has me on there because it actually has 43 tweets.
The list is 43 tweets long.
I genuinely believe that nipples and friends are fake.
No way.
Jennifer Aniston's nipples.
No, no, no.
Don't fucking do this. I genuinely believe that they are fake.
You think Jennifer Aniston's nipples and friends are fake?
Hear me out.
She's wearing a padded bra.
Often she's not.
I think she is, brother.
Not every time.
I'm pretty sure that they're...
I'm not pretty sure.
I believe that they are.
I'll say this.
That was filmed on a set, right?
Yeah.
And these sets are cold.
They're always very chilly.
They've talked about it in interviews afterwards.
They didn't say it was me.
Why are you doing this?
Why are you going after Jennifer Aniston's 90s titties?
Because that show was based on them.
It's like the same way as KB.
You're going after Jennifer Aniston's 90s titties.
You're going after the Girls Gone Wild commercial.
One of the greatest treasures we've been given.
Huh?
Jennifer Aniston's 90s titties are one of the greatest treasures we've been given as a country.
Yeah.
Does Phoebe get done for any of you guys?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I liked her get done for any of you guys? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I liked her too.
I was a Cox man.
When I saw Romy and Michelle's
high school reunion was rated R,
I was like,
oh,
is she dumping them out?
She doesn't.
I don't even know why it's rated R.
It couldn't be.
Her deep fake stuff is crazy.
She's taking it.
Oh.
No, I'm just playing around.
No, you're not, bro.
That shit's not funny, bro.
Yeah, it's too far.
It's just fucking too far.
Black History Month, though, y'all.
Yeah.
Why'd you say y'all?
It's Black History Month.
Fuck.
Whoa, fuck. I gotta pay rent. You gotta atone. Oh, yeah. fuck whoa fuck
I gotta pay rent
you gotta atone
I gotta pay reparations
did I pay my rent?
I don't want to be that guy that
shares his dreams but I actually had a yak dream
last night can I briefly tell you the synopsis
what happened
we were all living in some type of
apartment community and we were all living in some type of apartment community,
and we were all pals.
And then Brandon killed, shot a bunch of people
in a murderous event,
and I was very sad as well as the rest of us.
And then when we went to capture you, we did.
And we were questioning you,
and then Dr. Oz showed up, and it was all a ruse, and it was all a joke on me.
That was my dream.
It was crazy.
Damn.
The kids were alive, and you didn't kill them.
Oh, it was kids.
Why did I kill kids?
They were like teenagers.
How did you know I did it?
I saw you do it.
You were an accomplice, brother.
No, I wasn't.
Who was the least upset?
It was kind of like a courtyard we were all playing in.
Did you go back and tell everybody so y'all came after me?
I think I went to get covered.
I don't remember.
How did you kill him?
With a gun.
Oh, damn.
An automatic weapon.
How many?
Oh, my God.
Four.
Four?
You need an automatic weapon for four? I could take God. Four. Four? You need an automatic weapon
for four?
I could take out
more than four kids.
Barehanded.
There were four there
and they were your targets.
Oh.
So this was premeditated.
Che, I have four kids.
It wasn't your kids.
It was like teenagers.
They were all teenagers.
Okay.
I wonder if that makes,
if that means that you,
you think that we're always
trying to pull a fast one on you.
And if it does mean that,
I'm sorry, brother.
No, it was a thrilling dream.
I was very happy at the end.
It was a whodunit.
No, it was Brandon.
So it was thrilling because you found out that it, in fact, was just a ruse and you enjoyed the ruse.
Yeah.
It was funny.
Yeah.
When O showed up, I was like, wait, what?
And then the kids were revealed.
Yeah, practical jokes in your dreams.
That's awesome.
That was his final trick.
John Quinones walks out.
I'm John Quinones.
Why did you just kill those four kids?
Quinones is holy shit, KB.
That's got the exact same fit on.
No, he doesn't. Yeah, you do. Head to toe. exact same fit on. No, he doesn't.
Yeah, you do.
Head to toe.
I mean, like, no, he doesn't, does he?
I mean, his just says champion on it, but it's the same.
It's not mine.
It's the same.
They're matching.
What brand is that top?
Levi Strauss.
Oh.
Shit.
Nice Jewish brand.
Hell nah.
They didn't invent the jean, but did they invent the rivet?
I think they did.
Really?
I don't know.
Maybe they invented the jean.
Wow, what's a rivet?
Excuse me.
I think it's the metal in the jean.
What was the point of that?
Fastener.
What are you fastening to your jeans?
They're tougher.
Oh.
Oh.
Do you guys have jeans you put in the freezer?
What? What? Apparently that's like a thing. I didn't know about it, but like expensive jeans. Raw denim? Yeah. Do you guys have jeans you put in the freezer?
What?
That's like a thing Raw denim?
I had a pair of raw denim ones
You don't wash them
And you wear them for the first few days
And when you take them off they'll just stand up on their own
It morphs to your body
And why do you put them in the freezer?
I never put mine in the freezer
But I think it might be a raw denim thing
That sounds awful It doesn't sound pleasant to have on my legs Why do you put mine in the freezer? I never put mine in the freezer, but I think it might be a raw denim thing.
That sounds awful.
Yeah.
Yeah, it doesn't sound pleasant to have on my legs or my crotch.
Are you going to get me a new chair?
I'm going to switch chairs with one of y'all when y'all leave.
Where is, oh yeah, he got fired.
Big hit?
Yeah.
He was let go.
It wasn't a performance-based thing. Yeah, it Yeah. He was let go. It wasn't a performance-based thing.
Yeah, it was.
He was too good.
Should we meet his ass just to hop on our meeting
from in here?
Oh, Jesus.
Yeah.
Not let anyone know
it's a meeting.
Is it 2 o'clock?
I'm nervous.
The meeting was like
35 seconds.
Yeah, maybe run out,
do it,
and then give us a full report.
Did Gaz join your meeting?
Yes.
From Vermont?
Yeah, he was in the nicest log cabin.
Oh, that makes it so much better.
I didn't know he wasn't here.
No, he's not here.
Erica is.
Perfect.
Erica is.
I just didn't know if me and Gaz were going to have to face off.
They're going to have to fist fight.
No one believes in sass less than Gaz.
Did you see on Token, Francis asked Erica if she were to name a successor at Barstool if she had one in mind.
And she said yes, and it was Gaz.
What do you think about a Gaz-run company?
That would be hilarious.
It's like a Justin Trudeau-run country.
I welcome our new leader.
Holy shit.
Canada's doing fine.
Holy fuck. Shit. Canada's doing fine.
All right, we'll leave on that.
Happy February. Yeah.
I'm going to take credit for that one, too.
TJ.
Thank you.
I'm a little Sasquatch.
Good luck, guys. Roan, we'll keep your seat a little Sasquatch. Good luck, guys.
Roan, we'll keep your seat warm.
Sas, buddy.
The Bush Light Clash at the Coliseum returns to L.A. this Sunday,
February 5th at 5 p.m. Pacific time.
It's 8 p.m. Eastern.
More than 20 of the best NASCAR Cup Series drivers in the world
will compete on this quarter-mile track,
which has been built in that
Coliseum in less than 50 days.
They did this last year. It was an awesome, awesome
event. Slow down, Zaha.
That was a big
gulp.
Kicking
off NASCAR's 75th season, the
Clash features a pre-race concert
by Cypress Hill and a race break performance
from Wiz Khalifa. Again, tune into the Clash features a pre-race concert by Cypress Hill and a race break performance from Wiz Khalifa.
Again, tune into The Clash this Sunday, February 5th at 8 p.m. Eastern time.
NASCAR events are always big parties.
The best.
They're big parties.
They're big events.
And L.A. is a great town for all sports events.
Hell yeah.
I think if you're looking for like a bachelor party activity,
I feel like you can't go wrong with a NASCAR event.
A NASCAR race?
Yeah.
Also that diamond logo for NASCAR.
I don't know if that's just for the 75th.
That's sweet.
That is cool.
Tune into The Clash this Sunday, February 5th at 8 p.m. Eastern time.
Hell yeah.
All right.
Go NASCAR.
You want to pull that wheel up so we can go ahead and get this drudgery over?
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
We still have one more ad.
We'll get to that, but we can just do the wheel.
Oh, yeah.
Let's get the wheel over with.
That's a good logo.
There's this one logo that's been stuck in my head since high school.
It's fake.
It's not even for something.
It was a fan-made logo for a fictional golf course called Spartan Golf.
Best logo of all time.
Really?
Yeah.
Where did that come from?
I'm aware.
Is it on the internet now?
It's on the internet now, but it's so awesome.
That's all I can think about.
What's the...
It might be called Trojan Golf.
I think it's Spartan Golf.
Kate, are you spoiling it right now?
Yeah, look at that.
Whoa.
That's a logo right there.
That's smart.
That's great.
Yeah.
Wow.
My favorite logo ever.
Holy shit.
It's like the whole face and everything.
Really.
Is there like superstars of logos?
Yeah.
Draplin.
Aaron Draplin is the best logo.
Are they just graphic designers across the board or are they called logoists?
He's a logo designer.
He's probably a logo designer first and foremost, but he does like TED Talks.
He's a really interesting guy.
His talks are worth looking at.
Draplin?
Draplin.
D-R-A-P-L-I-N.
He's the best of the best.
He did the NASA, what, 50th year or something logo.
It was great.
Do you follow?
He's the best.
Are there any brands that have overlap of the same designers?
Yeah, Draplin does a lot of brands.
This is all his work.
He's great.
Cool guy.
Pablo Rochette, the artist creative director he comes up with like the most creative
like fucking shit i've ever seen he's got 1.2 million followers alternate universe or you just
is that your job designing logos for companies that's my job once already um but yeah i've done
some cool ones so if you want to hire someone to do a logo, do you pay them first?
You have a rate.
They'll have a rate typically.
And then you'll go back and forth.
And just, yeah, people more expensive than others.
The girl that did the Citibank logo did it in the meeting for Citibank on like their notes paper.
And just sold it to him for like half a mil, probably a mil. Sitting right there. I just did it in the meeting for Citibank on their notes paper and just sold it to them for like half a mil. Probably a mil.
Sitting right there. They just did it.
Is that profession going to get
killed by AI?
You can AI generate a company
logo now in like 30 seconds. Yeah, you can.
I don't know if it has the same...
You can tell when something's thrown together
I think.
I don't know.
It's not my job anymore.
No, it isn't.
When people ask you, what do you do at Barstool, do y'all answer it quickly?
I asked myself that the other day, and I realized no one ever asks me.
I don't know how you answer that question.
I don't know how to answer it.
If I don't say Barstool, like, what do you do?
I'm just like, oh like i'm in sports media okay when y'all when y'all fill out something maybe you're filling an
application for something and it says job title what do you put i just put media usually which
is vague put barstool personality i don't know what that means either i just put media huh yeah
i would think i would say content creator but that sounds so douchey i know yeah
yeah all right that's at daycare pickup the other day talking to a dad of one of my son's
friends and he's like oh i'm a pilot for delta what do you do and i was like
same i had to fart into a microphone today thanks for flying everyone
safely the bar by my apartment uh is like a first responders bar so there's like emts and they're
drinking after a rough day and then i'm in there just like right next to him like i feel you yeah
yeah it's rough i know what you mean i couldn't think of a tiktok this afternoon
brutal co-host broke a chair and I didn't have a single joke.
Oh, is this a generator?
Yeah, but these are kind of stinky.
Yeah, they stink.
Well, there might,
well, yeah.
Well, that one with an X
was onto something.
That looks like a church.
That looks like
a Girl Scout logo.
A logo designer,
like maybe the Y
could look like horns,
you know?
Yeah.
Huh. What happened? Yeah. Huh.
What happened?
Spin that wheel.
Epic designers, you can be comfortable for now.
Let's spin that wheel, TJ.
Clock's ticking.
All right.
We're dry.
All right.
We are in the dry.
I love you.
Yeah, you do.
Do the old High Noon ad.
High Noon hard seltzer is a hard seltzer made with real vodka, real juice, and sparkling water,
not with malts like those other stinky-ass seltzers.
They now have big cans.
Come on, man.
Now have big cans of peach and pineapple available.
My favorite flavor is the peach.
Okay, Hivlion.
Same here.
Yours is the peach.
Yeah, you've never asked me that before, but it is also the peach and the watermelon.
I also like the lime.
The lime is very, very good.
Down the Jersey Shore, we get this rickety old house on the bay,
sitting there with a big glass full of ice and a peach nooner,
watching the boats go by.
Seattle City.
Seattle City.
It's a great vacation spot.
It really is.
It's the best.
We went to Cape May, Seattle City,
and this year we went to Bradley Beach and Point Pleasant.
Point Pleasant wasn't great.
Only 100 calories, gluten Gluten free no added sugars
Their full time flavors are pineapple black cherry
Watermelon grapefruit lime peach mango
Passion fruit and lemon
Their limited edition flavors that are available now
On the tailgate pack are pear and cranberry
And in the pool pack is kiwi and guava
Kiwi I bet is money
Look for them on Drizzly
Or at your local convenience or liquor store
or visit highnoonspirits.com
to find High Noon near you.
Look at me.
Yeah. You know who else has
big cans, Brandon? Yeah, who?
I'm over
that. Yeah, it's fine.
I have to refresh my memory.
My wife is so goddamn excited to go
to the Super Bowl week.
Yeah.
Get out of the house for four days, five days, however long she's staying out there.
Nice weather.
We check and see if our house has a trampoline.
And if not, can you see if I can check a trampoline on the plane?
I've got to see her in action.
Do you know that, I don't know if y'all know this yet,
in Chicago, near the office where I think we're going to be,
there's a, like, right down the street, there's a trampoline park.
Oh, I had no idea.
That's the first thing I honed in on, too.
How do you guys know where?
Right down the block.
I've told you where.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
I just know Chicago.
You know where?
I have no idea.
Okay, yeah.
I have zero idea of anything.
There's a trampoline park around the corner.
A block.
Not even.
It's like across the parking lot.
There's a trampoline park.
Yes, that's huge.
That'll get used a lot.
I think so.
Yeah.
Although we will have, I think, a basketball court and other pickleball court, maybe a
lot of other stuff.
So maybe a trampoline can work.
We're all going to be jacked and good at basketball.
I feel like that's the only way I'd start doing physical activity again
is just shooting around.
We're all going to be so goddamn jacked.
We're going to be super ripped.
That's what Chicago is known for.
Really, really healthy people.
The thin and healthy people.
We're going to get so much pussy, guys.
Nah.
Shit's played.
Kyle, how are you doing?
I'm alright.
You still getting the rust off?
Yeah.
I don't like that shot.
It makes him look lonely as fuck.
It does.
It's like the scene of Fresh Prince.
God damn.
This studio looks a lot bigger on screen. can assure you it's right that's usually
the second thing people say when they're on like when like i have somebody come into the office
like this studio is way smaller than i thought yeah the first thing is this place is fucking
disgusting yeah yes yep well it's not disgusting to you to you walk through it like out here it
doesn't look disgusting look at at this right now, dude.
Well, this, sure, right now,
but I'm saying if you're in that lobby,
this place does not look disgusting.
Yes, it does.
No, it does.
There?
Yeah.
I don't think so.
Yeah.
There's a couple stains.
I think mold is growing on this red one over here.
Forgot about mold.
I got a mold test strip for my place.
People were telling me I might have mold.
On one of my strips?
Yeah, I guess.
I'll bring you one.
My high school had really bad mold, and kids literally got taken out of school and just couldn't go back anymore.
They were allergic to whatever it was.
It was scary.
Yeah.
Not great.
Not great. I still want you to give
a graduation speech
one year
at Coatesville
yeah I'm sure
any day now though
was it a thing
where you got jello molds
if you moved into
a new house
from your neighbors
or was that a Rugrats thing
I think that's just
a TV thing
I remember when
the Carmichaels moved in
across from the Pickles
they were bringing
them jello molds
and she made one
for herself
the mother,
Susie's mother.
She went to
Le Cordon Bleu.
I don't understand
why the one family's
name is Pickle,
which is kind of
a joke cartoon name
and the others
had normal names
like Carmichael.
And Finster.
Finster, that's right.
Remember there was
on the film
Dr. Lipschitz?
Dr. Lipschitz.
The little red-headed.
Biggest lesbian on earth
filling Lil's mom.
Yes. The little red-headed bitch. What was her nameheaded. Biggest lesbian on earth feeling Lil's mom. Yes.
That little redheaded bitch.
What was her name?
She wasn't redhead, but that's Angelica.
Angelica.
What is she?
Her doll was Cynthia.
Hardly had any hair left though.
Huh.
I called into the Kids' Choice Awards to vote for Rugrats' best show.
It was an automated Kenan and Kel that picked up.
I thought it was the real Kenan and Kel,
so I voted for Kenan and Kel.
And then Kenan and Kel won, and I cried.
That's why they won, yeah.
I was the deciding vote.
Can you tell me the family and details
of all of those 90s Nickelodeon cartoons?
No, probably not.
Doug?
Yeah, I know about Doug.
Oh, I love Doug.
The episode where he gets
the zit on his nose
yeah it's a doozy
and he pictures it
much bigger
and it orders a pizza
in front of everybody
I remember he was mad
at his dad
because he got a football
for his birthday
he wanted like a
something way cooler
yeah
I remember their next door
neighbor were the Dinks
CatDog
I just know Winslow
the
and I know the
what was the gang of dogs that were in CatDog?
I don't know.
I don't remember any plot point from anything I used to watch.
I'm too old for all that.
I would watch Rugrats every day.
Don't remember anything about it.
But you remember the mini-golf episode?
No.
Oh, where they get the ice cream at the end?
There's that big ice cream thing, and they crawled into it and unstuffed the newspaper.
I remember the one where Tommy Pickles swallows a watermelon seed.
I remember that.
Do you remember the scary brother that he thought he was getting?
I've seen some scary brothers.
Tommy Pickles, he had a nightmare of having a brother.
It was like a really big kid and he was...
Vaguely.
It was very scary for television.
I remember
Nickelodeon had
on their website
Rugrats mini golf
that was awesome
and you won
by going through
the ice cream fountain
at the end
you got a big thing
of ice cream
and those were the days
you got like
free ice cream for life
if you got a hole in one
on it
but they had the
they had the hole stuffed
so you couldn't get a hole in one
I think I was 12
when Rugrats debuted
what year do you think
it debuted
91 no I think it's older you had to have it. I think I was 12 when Rugrats debuted. What year do you think it debuted? 91? No, I think
it's older. You had to have been older.
93. I was going to say
95. Oh, Reptar, the big
Godzilla. Reptar on ice.
91. Holy
shit, Brandon. Good call.
I'm just on my shit today. I remember I
wasn't allowed to watch Ren and Stimpy. Awful theme song.
Not good. Ren and Stimpy?
No, no, no. Oh, Rugrats.
So when I was 17 or 18, my sister was whatever, three or four,
and one or two, and she watched Rugrats.
That's the only exposure to it I ever had.
Movie's pretty sad.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Gets the watch from his grandpa.
Did you watch MASH growing up?
I'm a little too young for that.
Too young for M.A.S.H.?
No, I watched a ton of growing up.
Between M.A.S.H. and Rugrats.
Nick at Night.
So I watched a ton of Lucy and Ethel and I Dream of Jeannie.
I watched a ton of that shit because that was always on for some reason.
I remember watching a ton of Flipper for some reason which was what from 1954?
Yeah it was
the early 60s.
We watched Mr. Ed
slide into home right?
Oh yeah.
One of my favorite
things that ever
happened in human history.
They really
Hollywood really
used to lean on
talking animals
a lot more.
Used to lean on
animals a lot more
period.
We were talking
about Ed.
Yeah.
There hasn't been
a lot of chimp movies. There hasn't been a lot of chimp movies.
There hasn't been a lot.
Well, the 90s was the golden age of animals.
Yeah, most valuable primate.
The last big one was what?
Dunstan Checks In, right?
Dunstan Checks In.
Dunstan Checks In.
I don't think chimpanzees are as in vogue as they were 30 years ago.
Were they new back then?
Were they just a couple?
Michael Jackson had one, and that was just the rage for a while,
and then they were in every movie.
Dr. Jane Goodall was doing all that research,
and everyone was like,
oh, look at that.
I thought she was gorillas.
Well, potato, potato.
Because it was mist.
Gorillas in the mist.
That was the name of the movie.
Monkeys are big on TikTok now.
Are they?
Just like any video of a monkey or a gorilla doing anything.
Oh, as it should be did
you see that tiktok the guy's like this is one of the problems with like boating in florida and he's
in the swamps of florida and the monkeys were cannonballing off the trees and i said wait
florida monkeys in florida i swear to god that's becoming a problem there's monkeys in florida
but aren't there pythons down there too in the everglades can you google like um florida wild
monkeys florida that's becoming a problem
and they cannibal off the trees
and they like hit people's boats and shit.
How'd they get there?
That's people releasing them.
Oh, okay.
This is funny.
I like that.
Oh, he farted.
So he can leave the room now.
900,000 likes.
Yeah, that'll do.
Oh.
I want Dave to quote tweet that
and just say hired.
He's in Miami.
We've got to deal with that around the office.
Damn it.
He's not doing anything.
He eventually moved to New Orleans.
Is this in Florida?
Well, this is a pit.
No, no.
The one I saw, they're like in the middle of nowhere.
I would love to have one of those size monkeys as a pit.
But it's that kind of monkey.
It's that kind of monkey that's like coming at boats and like taking over the Everglades and shit.
It's wild.
Tiny monkeys are just funny.
No, Zah, you're anti, right?
Didn't you say you hated them?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anti.
They stole an apple.
This is the video I'm talking about.
Look at this.
Yeah, no fucking thank you.
They're having the time of their fucking life, those monkeys.
I'm saying no to that.
That rocks.
That's awesome.
Picture you're floating in a tube.
Look how much fun they're having just jumping in the water.
It always comes back to tube floating with you.
What are you saying?
In case they don't need to back you. I'm trying to, but Casey told me to back up.
I'm not going to.
I don't see the problem.
Or what a buzzkill if one of them slams into
the side of your boat from a...
Something doesn't seem right about
this.
Why are there so many? In the comments, people are like,
oh yeah, these Florida monkeys, man.
They're whatever.
It's a thing.
I didn't know we had monkeys.
I had no idea until I saw this.
I started Googling.
Florida has a lot more than you think of. Bears.
What?
What?
The only bears I've ever seen in my life were in Florida.
In the wild.
You live in New Jersey.
North Jersey is filled with bears.
All I said was I haven't seen them.
All I said was I haven't seen them.
Florida has bears?
You remember the bath salts story?
Everyone just joked about it for a while.
Yeah.
I finally just... The deep dive into it?
The full story.
The guy who ate the face?
Yeah.
Is it worse than you think?
Yeah.
It was just like a
college frat kid really yeah i thought it was like exactly he was exhibiting like he was like
weird mental health um symptoms for a while and he was acting real strange but they were out to
eat with their family and he kept leaving and coming back, and then he just left and did it.
And ate a guy's fucking pizza.
He just went to a random neighborhood.
How do you even do bath salts?
I don't know.
You smoke them, right?
Don't you smoke them?
I don't even know if that's what the cause was.
They found it in his system, so it probably was,
but he was acting strange for a while and then was in a state of psychosis
i think they're like still figuring out his case holy shit he thought he was an animal oh my god
and then yeah been there yeah damn what were you doing in florida that you saw bears i lived in
florida for three or two years and 2000 from 2012 to 2014 i lived in um fort two years. From 2012 to 2014, I lived in Fort Walton Beach, Florida.
They were by the beach?
So Eglin Air Force Base is a gigantic Air Force base that owns a whole lot of land right above the beach.
And it's mostly wooded.
In what town?
This was Fort Walton Beach.
What's that bridge there?
There's the Midbay Bridge, and then there's the Brooks Bridge.
The Midbay Bridge goes from Niceville down to Destin.
How did you know that?
Destin's quite nice.
Destin's beautiful, but it's overrun now. Now all the people go to 38.
There was a point in your life when you were the high school sports guy.
You would tweet about it non-stop that's where i in florida i was the sports editor of
the local newspaper and i covered high school sports do you have fun with that did you put
your own spin on it i loved it i loved it i fucking loved it if that if you could make an
actual living doing that i was making 30 grand uh you you know i couldn't support family on that
but i i fucking loved it.
I would do that.
You were just passionate about following it, or did you have your own style?
I got into sports writing to write about pro sports and college sports,
but that's not how it works.
You get stuck, and I got stuck in small newspapers.
But you follow the kids, and they go to college, and you follow them,
and it's just great. Did you get takes off? I would get takes off, yeah, but you follow the kids, and they go to college, and you follow them, and it's just great.
Would you get, like, takes off?
I would get takes off, yeah.
You can't say any of them fucking suck.
Yeah, this middle schooler sucks.
You can't do that, but, you know, you build friendships.
What was, like, one of your favorite stories to cover?
Or athletes.
Well, shoot, I don't know.
They had a local football team. well the nice well eagles were always
like in the state championship running and it was just fun that they had a great student section
they had a great stadium they had a great everything it was just fun to uh and a lot of
that's in the panhandle florida and it's just it's really great high school football there
yeah really great the best high school concession stand food in the country is in Milton, Florida.
So if you're in Milton, check it out.
They've got steak on a stick that is just like at a restaurant.
It's delicious.
Not that you get steak on a stick at a restaurant.
Are the stadiums nice?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fort Walton Beach has two stadiums.
One is Steve Riggs Stadium for Fort Walton Beach High School.
It's modern.
It has turf.
But they also have Etheridge Stadium for Chakta Hatchee High School,
which is old, and it's terrifying.
That's the Melissa Etheridge Stadium.
Yes, come to my window.
Right.
And it's like 50 rows straight up in the air,
and it's terrifying to be at the top of it.
Yeah, fun stuff.
Thank you for letting me talk about this.
And look what Bethune Cookman's working with.
Yeah, they're struggling.
What's going on?
I've been to a game, a high school game down in Daytona, too.
I went to a mainland high school game, high school of Vince Carter.
Do you know if any of the kids you covered are, like, in pro sports now?
Ryan Baker is a pitcher for the Baltimore Orioles.
At least he was last year.
I think he was with the Orioles.
And I saw him have a game where he pitched seven innings, 21 outs,
and he struck out 19 people.
And I didn't know if he was going to make it or not,
but he pitched with the Baltimore Orioles now.
I've seen a couple of pros.
Yeah, it's fun to follow him all the way through up and –
I remember in high school I played field hockey,
but if you've got a goal of being the local paper, you know,
and it was thrilling to get your clippings. all your clippings yeah yeah it was the best
best the fucking nothing better it's really peaked that's when i peaked i was in the newspaper for a
harry potter look-alike contest i was in the newspaper when i was in eighth grade because i
went to uh i wanted to be an archaeologist when i grew up. So I went on a dig with a Mississippi State professor.
Did you find any bones?
No.
No.
We went on a dig in my hometown
and I think we were just cleaning up
somebody's property.
Yeah.
I think we said we were going on a dig
and we were just basically
moving stuff for somebody.
All kids wanted to be archaeologists, I think.
Yeah.
I wanted to be a radio DJ and an. Yeah, I wanted to be a radio DJ
and an archaeologist. I wanted to be a hotel manager
and a cartoonist. Hotel manager?
Hotel manager was my job number one. I loved
hotels as a kid. Radio DJ was my number one.
Radio DJ, paleontologist.
Yeah, yeah.
Why didn't radio DJ stick out so much?
Just sitting in a room, listening to music,
thought it seemed like the coolest thing ever?
Back then, those were like
the kings of your town, really.
The morning show? That was the first famous person.
That was my first idea
of fame. I didn't know about like...
He sent me on a job shadow
to a radio DJ when I was 14.
And I sat on the local morning show and I was
just terrified to speak.
I was absolutely terrified.
We got assigned random jobs to
shadow for a day did yeah darnell foster the meteorologist one of the best he's the best of
the jeff x line was damn near second running well 1a 1b max lobhan exists so you guys can
fight for second place probably just a weatherman not a meteorologist he's talking about the big boys chief meteorologist of wtva that's okay that's i did
college radio i was like a radio host iup at like the 5 a.m to 7 a.m shift and i would always sleep
through it and miss and i've gotten on but when i did make it was 5 a.m to like 7 a.m i called it
manion in the morning no big deal no one ever listened who would be listening to a college
at that time but i was so nervous when I first started.
My heart would pound through my chest, and I'd go to speak, and I'd panic,
and I worried that my songs weren't cool enough.
My dad was the only one who would listen, and he, whatever.
Give me a sampling of the songs you would play.
Oh, my God.
Well, I also borrowed, because you could burn CDs back then.
I borrowed every CD in that catalog.
I'm going to take it home.
So I had this massive collection of burn cds um getting in the car with a freshly burned cd is a top five feeling
in life yep nothing more we don't have it anymore i used to put so much thought into the track order
did you do did you design the labels i didn't design the labels i wrote in like punk rock
handwriting like i would dot my eyes with like x's on the yeah with a sharpie yep making them i made so many mixed cds that's probably more why i was into it but i
turned out i was so nervous that i was like i guess i don't want to be a radio dj because i
suck at this i'm too afraid to speak um and look at me now janelle hey yakking it up on there
yeah you pretty much achieved it totally what did you want to be kyle archaeology or
architectural engineer what is that my parents saw me drawing a house one time
yeah and you got really people who design architecture
and look at you now you're pretty much doing it pretty much doing it man the
the foundation of the Yak, some would say.
Wow.
He is.
I kind of was.
I remember, you know, I ran all the socials for the Yak.
Oh, my God, you did.
Yeah, I would just role play.
You had no merch.
No, I remember you were just like, you want the login for the Yak?
I was like, yeah, and just tweeted, I'm horny.
Oh.
Yeah, wow.
What a coat.
That's a good coat.
We have a lot of people that run the socials now.
That run the Yak Twitter account.
Seems like it.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's become bigger than it once was.
They're very good at it.
They're in a team.
They are good.
Whoever's doing it is damn good.
I assume Connor Griffin's probably part of that team.
Connor. Garrett. Che during the show. Qu good at it. They're a team. They are good. Whoever's doing it is damn good. I assume Connor Griffin's probably part of that team. Connor, Che, during the show.
Quiggs has it.
Quiggs' guy DJ has it.
Huh.
Am I missing anybody?
DJ, do you have it?
I have it, yep.
You want me to take some shit?
I'm going to pee my pants.
Oh, I have it.
I think we should probably go ahead and...
I have to pee so bad.
Okay, well, listen.
So bad.
We're at 2.30, so me and Clem are going to record at 3.
You good?
Yeah, it's the Yak.
Big Cats back tomorrow. I'm on the dozen tonight.
Go watch that shoot.