The Yak - Climbing a Mountain That Is "Everest Equivalent" Is Not The Same Thing | The Yak 7-19-22

Episode Date: July 19, 2022

Andrew Schulz joins the program.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Look at that case race shirt. How dope is this? That's the one we don't talk about. I didn't say nothing. That's the case race we don't talk about. I didn't say a word, my bro, but this shirt just looks naturally cool as fuck.

It's like you don't even know that it's a shirt that's shoving some cringeworthy content down your throat. The car should have Shane Gillis on the hood and you should all be underneath it. Yeah. Or the other way around. Or you're right. Shane Gillis getting run over by the yak comment section. Yeah. Yeah, the car is the comment section.

I'll just be hanging in the background. Me on a seamless app being like, what's your order? Buy this shirt for sure. This also unlocks a kiss. Not from me, but it does. You can kiss in this shirt. It's very okay to kiss in this shirt.

What's up, everyone? Not much. Andrew Schultz in the lobby right there? Yeah, he was just on PMT for an hour and a half. Was it funny as fuck? It was. It was one of those interviews where I had notes and I didn't look at them once. That's great.

Talked about everything. His special just came out and it's funny as fuck. You watched it? Yes, brother. You bought it? Yes, brother. 15 bucks, brother. I didn't know you had that type of expendable income.

No, bro. I bit Torrent Streamream, that bitch. Fuck yes. I fucking got it from movies123.gov. Steal this special. Yeah, it was fucking... It was funny as shit, though. He was making all these jokes, dude.

Yeah? It reminded me of Lil Sasquatch. Yeah, everyone's copying him. Yeah. Making jokes now. Sass Philly tickets still on sale? Apparently. Yes, tonight.

They're sold out. Three shows are sold out. One of them jokes now. Tass, Philly tickets still on sale? Yes, tonight. They're sold out. Three shows are sold out. One of them is not. Which one? The late show tonight. Let's get on it, boys. The other ones will sell out. Oh, wait. So not? There's like one ticket. So all of them are not?

No, the two ones tomorrow are sold out. The early one today is like one ticket. You understand what sold out means? Yeah, but I'm speaking. I'm trying to drive tickets to this specific show. Has it been that bad? It's a little dry. We're a little light.

What's the room? $2.50, people. And what do we have? Like $1.30. Oh, come on, people. There's still a lot of room. What time is this show? 9.30.

Oh, the 9.30? What if I just bought them all? actually would suck any worse would love it Hey, I would not mind really if I bought them all the money. Yeah, I should do that for an entire show Just that's well. He does for no one decent did that to who who did 50 cent rule the jaw rule? He bought out his entire venue. So he performed for no one. Yeah, it was like the first ten rows That's awesome. I know. At the peak of his fame, Elvis had this thing

where he wouldn't perform unless it was sold out. And so any stadium that didn't sell out, they would bring in prisoners to remove the seats so that technically it's still sold out. Wait, what do you mean? Why wouldn't you just have to physically remove the seats? They could just sit in the seats. Well, there was, oh, that's it.

They just brought in prisoners to get them out. So in a stadium in florida once they brought in all these prisoners to remove the top yeah we can't well we can't have them go into concerts they're under lockdown yeah that's kind of fucked up i'll tell you i thought they like he wrote the jailhouse rock what do you mean yeah i don't want them going to concerts just like imagine the warden being like you know that elvis concert it's not sold out. They need people to go there and physically remove the seats. Yeah. It's a wild job. I read a book by his manager,

not the Colonel guy, but some other guy. It was like all the crazy demands he had. Anyway, cool Elvis anecdote by me. What's in the box? Wait, what were his other crazy demands? Colonel shit. He had like the Colonel.

Remember Elvis had like that guy that was always with him but then there was this other guy. What were some of his crazy? I love like hearing stories about riders. We talked about too. He also managed John Denver and he said, John Denver had like a dad complex where he needed to feel like he was in

control. So they would make up when John Denver would get like upset about how a concert went or how something went and he'd be angry. They would make up an employee who screwed it up and let john denver fire the fake employee so that's awesome so he felt like he was in control that's all stuff yeah i need one of those and like it actually worked like it would actually like appease him it's the same guy every time and then he would feel bad and then he'd be like can we rehire that guy i fired last week i was angry and then they'd rehire the fake guy oh my god that, that's great. Damn.

A fake guy who can just fire all the time. Was John Denver like that famous when he was alive? He was pretty famous. He was pretty famous, bro. At the height of his... Rocky Mountain High. Yeah, great song. Colorado. Did he ever sell out helium though? No.

Probably not. Not a funny guy. Who's opening for you? It's been a rough last couple of hours Wait till you hear this Wait till you hear this My opener got stuck in Florida So I don't have to

Who's your opener? Well not my opener, the guy that was opening for me Jerry? Who? No, call him, Tyrell How'd you get Jerry Thornton? He's not my opener. I was like, you said my opener. I didn't mean it like that.

I had him. I was going to have him open for me. Do you want me to come open for you tonight? I would love that. I'll open. I want Roan to come, but Roan's being a little bitch ass. Oh, is that true? Yeah, he is. I mean, Sass is being stingy with the cat. Oh, I like this.

Son of the boy, dad. I told Ron I would pay him $100,000 for 10 minutes on stage. And that's only 10% of what he's getting, which is bullshit. You guys should break up right after Jesus and Mero broke up and be like, wait, who? They're definitely doing it on purpose just to get the attention. You think so? No, but that's what I would do if I was them. Yeah.

No, Ron's not being a bitch. It must be awesome, though, for those guys to be like, no matter what, we could just always sell a reunion tour. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, if what Jason Whitlock

said is true, and I don't know whether it is or not. Wait, that's your source? No, he said no, but you see he tweeted, like, they only got 50,000 views an episode.

Like, they were fucking, like, they were never that popular. What? Jason Whitlock just came off the top rope., like, they only got 50,000 views an episode. Like, they were never that popular. What? Jason Whitlock just came off the top rope. I mean, they were definitely probably, their popularity probably was a little overstated. Yeah, well, the culture took a hit. Right. Oh, yeah.

Big time. It was for the culture. You know that. Yeah. It's been a bad day for the culture. The culture took a hit. But if Whitlock is right, they could always have a reunion tour. Yeah, I mean,

it's like any band that is like, we're done, and then they have a reunion. I just imagine it goes the exact same way. They all are sitting there like 10 years later

and they're like, wait, how much money can we make? I think the problem is that one of them is about to get the Jimmy Kimmel job. Well, he's got

Jesus' guest hosting for a week yeah i feel like that's gonna and and miro's not dude you know what i mean i feel like that's how things break my yikes though like that that's one guy's winning one guy's still still good like there's no l's being taken technically the, Mero is still winning too because like, any breakup like this. Build him up. That's where they kick and play them. There's another one

before this, I think. Any breakup like this, like the one guy who technically wins, who goes on to do like Jimmy Kimmel or something, he wins,

but he loses all of like the hardcore fans because the other guy could just do the opposite and be like, I'm keeping it real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rory and Mero. Yeah, like I'm keeping it real for the fans i'm not going to hollywood yeah i'd rather be the

which one are you gonna do i'll do the keep it real yeah what if you got jamie kimmel though what if they're like big cat we want you to do i wouldn't i would know i'd be like i want to be the keep it real guy make sense doing the late night show would be hard it's a lot it's gonna be a ton of work there's are you serious yeah no way yeah that would be miserable. It's a lot. It's going to be a ton of work. Are you serious? Yeah. No way. Yeah, that would be miserable. If you want to be good at it. No, it's not a ton of work, I don't think.

Oh. I watched a whole episode of Louie where he talks about it, and it sounded like a lot of work. They have all their jokes written for them. And they film it at 2.30. So they get in at like 11.30. They'll go over some prep,

go over some jokes. They'll fucking just read the jokes, pretend to have input. It's everything behind. Everything else is what's a lot of work. But I don't think I don't. Jimmy Kimmel has to work that hard. It's not even a nine to five. A brutal life.

Just. Oh, I disagree. I think he does. It is an awesome life. He also, you know, they do the they do the interviews before. Yeah. No, like someone else interviews the people oh really yes so when you show up if you show up to jimmy kimmel there's a person one of jimmy kimmel's assistants will pre-interview and be like oh that's a good story like tell that one yeah and then they'll go to jimmy kimmel and be like here cue him up for

this story this story this. That's pretty interesting. That's so easy. Wouldn't you want to have creative control on your own show? I mean, I'm sure probably for the first couple of years. I think that would get draining to have someone who's right. You have to go by the book. I think he has as much control as he wants. I feel like if he wants to take over an interview,

he could just be like, all right, I'm just going to run this one. He can't do his old jokes that he used to do, his old racist jokes. No more blackface. Blackface anymore. Blackface, Karl Malone. That's got to be draining. That's got to be tough for any man.

He's only getting $50 million. Going from blackface to whiteface is a hard transition. It is. As dolezal. No one talks about that. Terrible. As is tortured. Dude, someone who used to be on the Eagles hit me up,

and they were like, a bunch of Eagles dudes are going to Sass' show tonight. What? Riley Cooper. Mack Hollins is who hit me up. Okay. And I don't know who's coming through to the show. They were all like, where's Roan?

Are you going to be there? And I said, no. Yeah. Sass isn't opening up that fucking bag. Some old Norristown players showing up too. Who's that? Chad Hall? Who was the fullback they had?

Not John Ritchie. Was it John Ritchie? Yeah. Yeah, John Ritchie was on the fucking birds. Yeah. Sass has to get some of his fucking athlete jokes in there or whatever. Yeah, you got to roast the birds. Yeah, do you have your Eagles set?

No. Hey, you got to roast the birds. Yeah, do you have your Eagles set? No. Hey, give him some stuff. Kate, you got to give him some Philly stuff. Afterwards, I'll give you. I have a notebook somewhere, a ton of Eagles jokes. Kate used to roast the fuck out of guests. Yeah, she's a good roaster. She roasted the fuck out of Chris Long.

There was, at the Super Bowl also, I did Heinz Ward and a couple other guys, but that was rough. It kind of sucked, and he was very confused about what was happening. He doesn't get it. He doesn't get it. Yeah. That one didn't go over as well.

You should do a roast on the Yak and let Kate host. Yeah. I would love. We were just talking about that, that we should do like, I feel like one night a big roast of like Dave with like bring in real comedians and real comedians. But like have people do a big thing. Get dressed up. I'm surprised there

hasn't been a Dave roast yet. I think it would be pretty easy. Well, he wanted to do an MSG, right? Yeah. He wants to do the roast. He wants to do a night of hate. The material would be easy to accumulate. Yeah. It would be hilarious because he would just... I don't know how well he would like it. Well, no, but

every roast... I don't think he would be able to sit there. Because you know how when typically in a roast, the guest of honor sits there and just takes all the roasts? I don't think he'd be able to just take it for an hour straight. But the whole point of the roast is at the end, he gives it all back. That would be like- That would be the best. Do a 30-minute roast, and then Dave would give it back for four hours.

Right. That would be awesome. It wouldn't even be four hours. It would be four hours on the show and then for months on end. A thought or something that he meant to say. You should do that. That would be awesome.

I do think it would do really well. It would. It would be very fun. You think you could sell out MSG though? No. Bro, you got three out of four sold out at the... Oh, no, not not me we had this debate dudes no he could not

msg has the basement theater yeah it's not as big as the thing how big is it it's pretty it's not it's like i think that would be doable i think yeah i think that'd be doable oh fuck yeah i show you guys a tweet real quick? I want your thoughts on it. Is it a Whitlock? Is it a Whitlock? No, it's not a Whitlock. Andrew Brandt tweet that I quote treated TJ. One of the weirdest, like, so it's his birthday and he's sucking his own dick.

But there's just something about this one phrase he used that I just. Who's this douchebag? All right. So Andrew Brandt, he used that I just... Who's this douchebag? All right, so Andrew Brandt. He used to work for the Packers. 62 today, entering middle age. Joined Packers at 40. First triathlon at 47.

Joined media at 51. Law professor at 56. Started podcast newsletter at 58. Climbed Everest equivalent. No. At 61? So, no. What?

Nothing. What is that? Also, this dude was just late to everything. No. At 61. So no. What? Nothing. Nothing. What is that? Also, this dude was just late to everything. Yeah. But what is an Everest equivalent? That's actually hilarious because- It's the tallest peak.

Yeah, what? When he says never peak, he's not- You either climb- Don't climb Everest. Everest or not. That's a terrible tweet. No, everyone's like, happy birthday, dude. I just wrote, what the fuck is an Everest equivalent?

What? I'm trying to look up what mountain. The funny thing about that, too, is the Everest is like the highest peak, but any peak that's relatively close to Everest in height is significantly harder to climb than Everest. Right. How could you even get an equivalent? He probably had like a Stairmaster of many. Went on a treadmill for three days at 15?

Guess where it was? Utah. Wait, that's the Everest? Why? Did he climb one mountain like 500 times? I don't know. He has this tweet from 2021, starting my Mount Everest challenge. What the fuck?

This guy is pretending to... This is the weirdest thing I've ever heard. The Everest part is disgusting. He's right. He's... It's a ski slope. He has a... He just climbed up and down a hill multiple times.

That's Walter Payton's hill. That's crazy. What the fuck? Pull up his wife. Wait, what is... I didn't realize he... If his wife is stacked... Asked him for my Everest challenge? If he has a stacked wife, then I didn't realize he... If his wife is stacked... Asked for my Everest challenge?

If he has a stacked wife, then I don't care. So Everest challenge is... I'm just going to start quote treating all of these. I need to find that one. This is not Mount Everest. He is kind of dreamy for his age. The whole point of Everest is it's hard because it's like no oxygen. Yeah.

That being said, though, I do know someone who's in our circle that would say something similar. Oh, my God. So it's called, it's a sport called Everesting. Okay. What? When he was reading that tweet, I was going to say, who do you think would write a tweet like that? I can't say that ever. That's like saying I went to the equivalent of outer space.

Right. Because I went in a plane. You went on enough planes. Yeah, I've been in 50 plane rides. Yeah, that's crazy. What? Wait, time out. I've been to the moon equivalent. Look, it's called Everesting. It's like a sport people do. It's a company, and they

rent a private mountain. Oh my god. They build a base camp with bands, bonfires, and luxury tents. He's glamping Everest. And then you... This is insanity. I don't think that's what the base camps are. And look, he's on the front page and he says, I guess I'm one of these guys now.

What the fuck? I didn't even know this was a thing. I thought he was just saying that he went up a bunch of stairs. Actually, this is The fact that he used the word equivalent is infuriating. There is no equivalent. It's insane that this is actually a thing that someone's making money off of.

And it would have been fine if he was just like, I got into mountain climbing. Yeah, like I walked up a hill a bunch of times. He's the Cuban. This was the hardest thing I have done on a bike purely because... No, you know what's harder? Going up Everest. There's vomit in my beard. What?

But this suffering is a privilege. These people... Somebody here has to Why wouldn't these people Why wouldn't these people Just climb Everest? Right They're definitely all rich as fuck

Someone here please Don't climb Everest Please do this Please Would you rather be like Yeah I climbed Everest Than be like Yeah I did the Everesting trip

Why is it all bike riders? Probably is a bike ride It's a mountain in Utah That people just walk up of You could do it anywhere Is what it says. 22,500 people. Can we end this whole project?

Can we kill this campaign? They rent mountains everywhere, it sounds like, and they build a luxury base camp. Yeah, that's all that. And then they have you do the equipment. They literally have them. This is all useless. What the fuck, dude?

You get a little patch. That shit just doesn't make any sense. I don't know why people, or Everest is just like a brand. It's not even like what it represents is now stronger than the actual place that it is. Yeah, they made it a verb. Yeah, we're just Everesting.

Fuck that. Dude, what do you think is the lowest point you can Everest? Yeah, I can't, babe, I'm Everesting tomorrow morning. Yeah. Give me a break. Interesting. No, that was the thing. I shouldn't be this mad, but I'm mad.

People are walking around being like, I went on Everest. I don't even think that the Everest, I might be very off here, but I don't even think that from the base camp to the peak is that long. I think it's half of it is you're acclimating yourself to the altitude. Could you imagine sitting down to a dinner with someone? It's obviously very long. I don't mean it's not. Having someone, could you imagine doing that and actually bragging about it?

If I said to you the sentence, yeah, I did an Everest equivalent, the next question would be like, wait, so you didn't go up Mount Everest? It is a good way to own a dinner party, though. They'll talk about it for 45 minutes. But everyone will think you're an asshole. Go up Mount Everest. Everyone would think you're an asshole. Mount Everest is like, isn't there so much trash on Mount Everest because everyone goes up it now?

There's huge long lines. They're just waiting in long lines to go over the thing for over an hour. This isn't like 80 years ago where it's like, oh, only like 20 people have climbed. Everyone climbs Mount Everest. No, I think they say it's the easiest of the seven summits. Not as easy as fucking going up a hill over and over.

What does it count? How do they go down the hill? Yeah, there's probably a gondola. It's a ski lift, yeah. Yeah. Do they walk back down the hill? That might be, no, not on Everest, on Everest thing. Do they walk back down the hill? That might be. No, not on Everest.

On Everest thing. Yeah, wait. So if you've skied a bunch in your life, you've Everest equivalent gone down? Seating Everest. We've walked enough to have Everested, I'm sure. Oh, dude. Listen, I've done about a thousand marathon equivalents in my life. We should make sure to says a marathon equivalent.

26.2 equivalent. Over like how many days do you think it just takes in your normal steps to walk a marathon? Like a week. Like a week. Slap a bumper sticker on.

I'm not even saying like if you do this and you just do it and just like don't say anything. Maybe it's like a training for Everest. But it's also like you could just do it because you like to do it whatever but to brag about it you gotta have better life accomplishments learning how to make risotto i don't even think bragging about it

is bad the rest of the tweet is very hard it was all bragging about how he did these things but just saying like that would be like if i went paintballing and i was like yeah i was in the military yeah kate what do you think about that i played enough Call of Duty. I've had at least four tours. I'm military adjacent. I paintball. You've all shot that little thing in here. Pretty much the same.

Basically snipers. This is fucked. Fuck this, dude. This old bastard. Maybe we should come up with something that we have the hiccups that we could create that we could just sell to idiots equivalent yak equivalent well that's have you seen talking about military adjacent on zero blog 30 new episode out today we were talking about there's those there's boot camp fake boot camps for men that are supposed to make you more manly um a guy

just died at one but they like they basically manly they have you go out in the night they literally pull up in a van they put like burlap sacks over your heads they kidnap you that's not yes that's part of it you pull up into um you pull up into this parking lot they come and like kidnap you they make you in the middle of the night dig your own grave and then bury yourself that's just a fetish and then dig yeah and they like spray you down with cold hoses. They basically like haze the fuck out of you for a week. And then you, and if you drop out, this one guy who dropped out,

like ended up paying like over 40 grand that year then to be mentored, to come back again, to complete this week of like hazing. And then they're all in like a networking group afterwards where they wear like matching polo shirts and stuff. It's like a thing. It's very popular. There's several in California. I kind of want to send sass to it stuff. It's like a thing. It's very popular. There's several in California. I kind of want to send sass to it.

But it's like a military. I feel like sass would make the fucking people quit. Like, we don't want to deal with this guy. I don't mind the, I don't know what I'm saying. I kind of want to get kidnapped. We could do that. I think we could do that.

We could absolutely do that. That's a green light, Hank. Should we, yep. We should absolutely do it. I don't know. I just saw a video for a game show, like a survival game show where they kidnap people. We could absolutely do that. That's a green light, Hank. Should we? Yep. We should absolutely do it. I don't know. I just saw a video for a survival game show where they kidnap people. You were on that show. It was the most dangerous.

No, no, no, no. I saw you in it. We're going to Grit Week in a couple weeks, and we're going to Colorado. I'm going to try to hook up with Dog the Bounty Hunter and do a Billy hunt. Just let him go in the woods, and we hunt him. I'm sick with that. I feel like Billy would die before you guys even found him.

I think we'd find him in a second. How is he? What happened to him last? His calf exploded? I don't know. Something bad. Seems down.

Bounty or Billy? His wife died and then he just found a new wife that looks exactly like her. Oh, I thought I was talking about Billy. Yeah.

Hear me out. Yeah. I think that should be normalized. Finding a replacement wife? There should be like finding a replacement wife there should be a database that matches I feel like names would even be easier

just so you don't have to learn a whole new name and an argument like your dead wife's name you never say your dead wife's name during sex that would be nice right it would just be a brand new wife. It'd probably be pretty tough to move on, though. What do you mean?

From the death. You wouldn't have to. That's the point. If you got over it in like a week. Yeah, I guess we have the same name, same face. That's why we need clones. That's why we need to eat the bugs. Not eating the bugs.

Don't eat the bugs. Officially not eating the bugs. Dude, isn't it crazy how much skinnier Doug's looks? I think he lost like maybe 200 pounds already. Just from the puke. He does look...

From like 102 workouts, he just lost all of the weight. Yeah. That puke was incredible. Should we tell Andrew Schultz to come in here if he's just sitting there? Yeah.

Andrew! I'm gonna grab him. That was quick. Huh. Oh, he's out. Oh, yo. Oh, oh. Yeah.

Don't do it like that. Waved off. Damn. Don't do it like that, Drew. If you're sitting there, might as well just come in. What's up, boys? Hey, how's it going? Hey, girl. This is the Yak, a live YouTube show every day.

Oh, a live, okay. We found out that people actually climb up a fake mountain in Utah and call it Everest Equivalence, and we're mad. I'm mad. Okay. We got under our skin. Andrew's got a new special out, theandrewschultz.com. Go check it.

What are you doing? You just hanging out here? Do you work here now? I'm recovering from our conversation earlier, man. Yeah. you guys talk about pedophilia a lot of pedophilia talk the whole thing andrew was like why don't we do that in the new york comedy scene or just has that touched us yet or no have we had any in new york okay so who of the new york comedians would most likely be a pedophile? Would most likely touch the kids.

This is good. I'm trying to think. Let me go with a woman so it's safer. Smart. Michelle Wolf. Oh, there we go. Yeah, her punter-file ass. Guaranteed.

Her diddling ass. Definitely. She's a fucking nonce. Did you guys go at it or what? No, no no I just I'm just trying to affirm what you're saying I'm just trying to

ride with you but this special's incredible though I watched it yesterday morning thank you man before work before work

I watched it I just sat in and fucking watched it in the morning it's a good morning special I appreciate that so much yeah it's fucking dope dude

are you free tonight you wanna hang out yeah what are we doing tonight well we need an opener in Philly I appreciate that so much. Yeah, it's fucking dope, dude. Are you free tonight? You want to hang out? Yeah. What are we doing tonight? Well, we need an opener in Philly for Sassish. Are you performing? Yeah.

Are you stand-up, man? Yeah, yeah. I dabble. Okay, good. Where are you at in Philly? Helium. Helium. Great club, man. Yeah, I'm excited.

Good shit. Is this your first time there? Yes, it is. I'm not opening for you, but I am. That would be pretty odd. I thought about it for a second. I was like, oh, that'd be a cool thing. I was like, I ain't going to Philly, bro.

I ain't doing that. Good for you, man. Thank you. Good shit. Okay. Sold out all four shows. Yeah? What?

Helium is great. You sold out four shows in Helium? Three. Damn, bro. I fell off. I should know who the fuck you are. No, no, no. Sasko, he just came up from Twitter and the internet. Really? helium uh three damn bro i fell off i should know who the fuck you are no no no sass got his stuff

he just came up from twitter and the internet so really a lot of i think a lot of people in the scene are kind of jealous or bitter at that because they had to grind and he just he's headlining no work without being miserable are you funny sass i don't know i don't know say yes that's the right answer okay good i gotta check I got to check out your stuff, man. He's the king of New York. Yeah, he is. Yeah, he is. You got to take him out now. You said the wrong thing.

Where are you from, Seth? Massachusetts. Massachusetts. Okay, good shit, man. Ah, helium's great. I did helium once and the electricity went out. Really? Ooh.

Yeah, and the whole venue, electricity went out. And they're so funny. They're like, well, what if we gave you a candle or something? Would you still want to do the show? And I'm like, man, you guys can't. You guys do not want to lose these ticket sales at all. One candle? No, I used my phone.

I took my phone light, and I just put it on my face. Like a spooky story? Yeah. It's kind of funny. It was the best show because everybody thought it was going to get taken away and then immediately

they ended up getting it. Sass. Dude, we got a dude in this office. His name is Rudy and I was talking to him. Where are you from? Where am I from? Yeah.

Philly. The Helium. He was born in the Helium. Really? Yes, dude. Your accent. You have an interesting accent. Yes, a Philly accent, dude.

Is that how you say it? It's Delco. It's close to Philly Philly's got the best I fucking love the Philly lean The dope fiend lean Or if you're eating a cheesesteak too right I thought it was the dope fiend lean when you're under Kensington Kensington crumple

Oh that's fucking Philly's a wild fucking town This dude Rudy is in the office and a couple months ago I was like yo you fuck with Andrew Schultz Do you like Andrew Sch, Philly's a wild fucking town. Okay, you were saying what? This dude Rudy is in the office, and a couple months ago, I was like, yo, you fuck with Andrew Schultz? Like, do you like Andrew Schultz? Like, he's a pretty funny dude. He's like, nah, dude, I think that he's a threat. Like, he's too funny and too good-looking.

He's like too much of a... Who's the one who was holding the camera in the studio? Son of a bitch. Gotta go find him. Sass, you want to make your bones? Yeah, you got to beat the fuck out of Rudy. You want to bitch. Yeah. Exactly, dude. I gotta go find him. Chaz, you wanna make your bones? Yeah, you gotta beat the fuck out of Rude. You wanna be part of the family, Chaz? Do it.

You wanna be part of the New York family? You ever write for that, dude? You just gotta fuck that guy up. What? You're too hot for comedy? No, I've never heard that once at all. I just get told I have a big nose constantly. You gotta check out this dude.

Your nose is in that. I didn't think it was that bad. I went on the fucking Bad Friends Santino and Bobby Lee's podcast, and they have this Filipino girl who sits there and does nothing. And they're like, just ask her. Why'd you point to Kate? She sits here, but you could be Filipino. I won't say anything the rest of the show.

No, I won't. I want you to keep doing exactly what you've been doing. And I just sat down there like, hey, do you think Andrew's good looking? She just goes, no. Almost in like a hacky Filipino accent. I was like, are you doing it like putting this on? And she goes, no. And then I was like, what's wrong?

She says, your nose takes up your whole face. Oh, no. And then she says, and it makes your eyes look small. Whoa. Now I see it. You had a rebuttal for that. I did have it. I said what you're thinking.

We all thought the same thing. Get the fuck out of here. Literally. I thought you'd be used to this. I'll be the opposite then. I have very low standards, and you're a solid yes from me. Oh, nice. Hey.

I love it, Kate. I'm a mom. You're a mom? Yeah. Can I ask you a question? We were talking about this earlier. Oh, hey. All right. I'm a mom. It's a mom. Can I ask you a question? We were talking about this earlier. Oh, no, don't.

No, no, no. Ask. Yes. This is about pedophilia. No, it's not about pedophilia.

Well, well, is it close to pedophilia? I guess it could be pedophilia adjacent. Yeah. Okay. So earlier, earlier,

and I don't want to take credit for this. You, you said that your wife's pussy was the wettest. Oh, I did not. No, for this, you said that your wife's pussy was the wettest. No, I did not. You said your wife's pussy was the wettest during pregnancy. Jay Envy said that. Jay Envy did not say that. You're making that up.

You're making that up. I was trying to talk to you about how I want to have kids soon with my wife, and you were like, yo, that shit is crazy. Yes, again, DJ Envy. That shit is so crazy. Shout out to DJ Envy. He's addicted to pregnant pussy That's a fetish

It is So go ahead Ask your question Okay so Is that true? With his sheets looking Mopped up Like linoleum

What are you talking about DJ Envy was about What was about him? DJ Envy's addicted To pregnant pussy How did he outlast Deezus and Mero? That's a good question

He's a legend, dude. Pregnant pussy, man. He's a radio man, too. You guys don't want to know the answer to this? If you saw my baby dad, big mullet, coke nail. His name's The Beef? The Beef. And you'd know the answer is yes.

Very horny. I like it. Yeah. Good shit. Okay, so now we know. It's confirmed. Yeah. You are good with accents.

I feel like you're always pointing out where people are from culturally and shit like that. I feel like that's a skill of yours. I'm curious. Yeah? I thought you were actually Southern. Really? At first. Now it sounds-

Ooh, we have a Southern guy. I thought you had a little bit of a Southern accent. A little twang. Should we get Mincy in here, our Southern guy? Yeah, we probably could. You could probablyang. Should we get Mincy in here, our southern guy? Yeah, we probably could. You could probably, like, My Fair Lady him to his neighborhood in Mississippi. You've got to get Zaw.

Pick him out. Zaw, talk. Yeah, what do you think about Zaw? Zaw, where are you from again? I'm better. Well, he doesn't remember. I've got to do a head phone. He gets. Oh, yeah, he's got to put his headphones on.

Pop those cans on. Pop the headphones on. See if you can guess where Zaw is from. What should I say? Just anything. Give us some local lingo. Hello, how are you? What did I tell you?

That's Africa for sure. Oh, that's funny you say that. He's from Greenwich, Connecticut. Oh, really? Now I see it. Say it one more time. I wish I was from Greenwich, Connecticut. Boarding school.

What did I tell you? No, where are you from again, bro? What did he say? Zimbabwe's finest, bro. Oh, Zimbabwe. He's the finest. I got nothing from Zimbabwe. He's the finest.

He got no jokes in the chamber. I'll be honest. I didn't know that we had, I didn't know that there were, what is the right term? Dwarf? Is that?

Yeah, apparently. Yeah, I thought that that was an American thing. Dwarfs and Down syndrome. I didn't think that it was outside of America. I swear to God. I've been fortunate enough to travel, and I've never seen...

It's the backseat. This guy's from the South. Definitely. 100%. No, and I thought that that was an only American thing. Have you seen those little Turkish people that run around? They're not dwarven, but they're just tiny, tiny men. Asbula? They're proportions are... He but they're just tiny, tiny men. Asbula?

They're proportions are... He's from like Dagestan. Yeah. They all have wonky faces. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of inbreeding. Is that what it is? I think so.

I mean, I like... You're going all in on the Dagestan. Joe, don't put smut on my man Zah's name. What's his name? I don't think that's him. Is it on Zah's jacket? This is the Turkish fellas.

Yeah, yeah. I gotta look into the Turk... I don't like their whole thing with the ice cream. Just give me the fucking ice cream. Oh, when they trick some? Yeah. I would punch someone for that. So you're seeing they're not, you're getting ripped off because typically when you get

an ice cream cone, they stuff it. They stuff the cone. Yeah. This cone is completely hollow. Yeah, can we see that video? One little ball of ice cream. They just fucking play with you the whole time. I like that that's the part that pisses me off.

I'm not getting enough ice cream. That's a rip off. Look at this. I would be so mad. What are we doing here? Half a scoop. And why does he have a paddle? Oh, now I take that. Damn, dude. I didn't realize this was turkey. What the fuck? Yeah, it's too much.

No, that would drive me nuts. Way too much. Is that Ennish Cantor? The only time I was dry in my whole pregnancy was when my baby dad got juked by one of these guys. You watched him? Watch him get juked? Watch him get cocked?

You juked. Like, you got tricked. And I said, no, not tonight. Yeah, you're not a man. You're not a man. Yeah, he lost his man card. Oh, there he is. There's Tim.

That's the B. Is that your husband? No, just baby dad. Oh, he lost his man card. Oh, there he is. That's the B, the baby dad. Is that your husband? No, just baby dad. Oh, you guys broke up? No. No, we didn't break up. No, you're still together. We're still together.

Are you going to get married? No. Why not? That's not my vibe. Oh, come on with all that. I know. What is that? Do the thing.

Be an adult. This is my partner. It was great when Joey walked by and saw andrew and he was like he saw his ring and he's like oh no he got married it was like joey but i think he was straight before he got married so that's what's stopping us damn joey i'm sorry bro i was gonna let you bust these cheeks but uh fortunately i got a wife. Damn. That sucks. He was so heartbroken. He loves you. Yeah.

You got a lot of fans in this office. He's a good guy. Yo, Barstool is fucking crazy right now. We're next up. Look out. Look out. An eye out. Oh, it's good.

The office has even changed. Have you guys felt that way? In what way? I don't know. You got gays, women. I know. It is different. It is true.

It did not look like this five years ago. No, that's true. Right? Yeah. Oh, it was just like seven of us. Yeah, it was just like seven guys. Tico's in Ibiza. She's not even here.

Who's Tico? She did. You got a black girl, bro. You've got a black girl? Black girl. Whoa. Check another box off Progress Progress

It's moving fast What's up with you buddy This is alright You chilling dude Sort of what I do You just answered your own question What is he doing This vibe is interesting

I like him Oh this is a show about nothing Yeah every day I produce their like podcast Okay gotcha I just happen to be in the room, yeah. Gotcha. You look like that fucking actor,

the guy who played the bad guy in Superman. The fuck is his name? He's a great character. I don't know. I've heard Sloth from Goonies. You know who I'm talking about? Nah, Sloth from Goonies is disrespectful. That's an old reference.

Arguably, yeah. This is a fresh reference. You know who I'm talking about? I don't know Marvel. Crypto Knight? Who cares? So, yeah, guys. What you got to do the next time, you got to have this dude Pat stay on your show.

I wanted him when he was on. He's a battle rapper. Yeah, he's fucking phenomenal. He just did a compliment battle in here, and he was too scared to hit you up and be like, dude, I'm in the city. He did hit me up. He did? I was on my honeymoon but uh i want he's fucking him dude he always goes like super sus around the rap dudes which one was this the super jack dude i did a compliment battle with him like a while

you can spit yeah i did like a little compliment with him but he loves you and i feel like he'd be it would be great for you'd have him on and and have him come roast you or battle you or something on your show or something like that. Maybe, this is actually a good idea, that we're going to give away live, but don't tell Pat. So maybe we act like I prepared the rap, but you

really helped me. Oh, give him something. Now we're not, you know, everybody knows, so it's okay, but just don't tell Pat. Right, right, right. They won't tell Pat Or I tap you in Maybe I just do one verse And then I tap you Tag team Tag team him in

But we would get sussed though We would wind up Fucking me and Pat That's fire though Yeah it would be It would be good for the Patreon Hell yeah There was like a video

When we did our compliment battle Where I was like Pretending to suck his dick And like the whole rap community Really Didn't like it They didn't like it at all, dude. He just took off his headphones.

It was too much or what? Yeah, it was too realistic looking, dude. His cum was on my face. That's fire, man. We also bounce around the idea, if you want us to borrow it, having Zai at your side to hold the mic down for your N-words.

That's what he opened the fucking show with. This is the first time we've ever spoken. He goes, are we recording? He goes, okay, Schultz got a new special. It's behind a paywall, so if you want to hear the N-words, you got to pay. Just enough, you said.

You had just enough. Just enough. Just enough. Just enough. Hey, do you want to... We do a case race. do you want to we do a case race you want to be in one yeah what's that mean perfect just come one day just come great we'll work yeah it'll be great what what is a case race no we just drink a shitload of beer and then

get way too drunk and everyone's like why are they so drunk we had shane gillis come and do the last one nobody's no he kicked our asses. But it was an L all around. It was a bad day. We're not funny or entertaining. We just all ended up fighting. It's like eight guys in a room just like furiously drunk screaming at each other

for hours. I like this energy. Yeah, no, I mean, it's chaos. It's very funny. You come? It felt like watching a social experiment. No, I didn't go to this one,

but I watched it and it was like watching, like it felt like people at Yale like put it, I didn't go to this one, but I watched it, and it was like watching. It felt like people at Yale put it together. The Mulder Reserve Experiment. You go through the window and see what happens when you get, and it just spiraled. Explaining the idea of it doesn't do it justice because it makes it sound funny. Yeah, it was. It's bad.

It's like nothing good about it. No, I think some people could have pulled it off. We didn't. Steven tried to fight Shane for all Asians everywhere. Steven, our producer right there. Wrestle. I might have started that. What type of Asian?

He's racist against Asians. He only likes NFL. You don't put that on. Why? What type of Asian? Chinese. I'm half. What's the other half? White. And he's never disclosed.

Just enough. Has he ever come out? What type of white he is? What type of white are you? Lithuanian and Irish. That's pretty white. Lithuanian is like... White people don't really consider Russians white.

I don't. Really? No. Especially like the caucus ones. Yeah, it's like, they're white, but we don't like, I was saying this on another podcast somewhere, but like, white people talk about them the same way they talk about like, black and like, hip-hop culture.

They'll be like, there's a lot of Russians in that bar. Even if they are like, physically white as possible, they'll be like, there's a lot of Russians in that bar. Even if they are physically white as possible, they're just not. There's a danger to Russians. They're a little dangerous. I like Russians. I used to live in Woodlawn in the Bronx, which is a real Irish neighborhood here, and the Albanians started moving in. All the Irish were like, there goes the neighborhood.

There goes... Fuck no. Eastern European slaps a little different it definitely does we keep the same energy us whites at all times dude yeah coming for a case race it'll be terrible yeah it would ruin your career for a little bit when do you guys when do you guys do the case rate whenever someone's birthday comes up always are you going to the important show I think yeah how much did your studio cost?

A lot. Was that you, Matt? That was him. Motherfuckers. All right. Well, go buy this special. The Andrew Schultz

dot com. He was on PMT. It's coming out Monday. It was great. He's going to be on Dave Portnoy's show. Yes.

You're doing the rounds. You're doing the Barstool car wash. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. You can't make it

hot on the Internet if you're not on Barstool. That's a fact. Clip that. We're next up. Yeah, it was good to meet you. All right. Thanks, man. Great to meet you. Yeah. You can't make it hot on the internet if you're not on Barstool. That's a fact. Say it again. We're next up. Yeah, it was good to meet you.

All right. Thanks, man. Great to meet you. Appreciate it. Nice to meet you. Yeah, for sure. Yes, that would actually be very fun. Thank you. Dude, he almost opened for you for a second there.

That was close. I was going to do it, dude. That was close. Yeah. He was so close. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was so close. It was close. He was so close. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was so close. It was like right there.

So close. That would have been awesome, but that would have destroyed my show on all levels. Why? I'm not going to go up after Andrew Schultz. They would have followed him out the club. Yeah, yeah. The bar across the street.

I would just go out and say that's the show. Thanks for coming out. Dude, he's toothsome. You can see his molars. Yeah. A lot of teeth in his mouth. Have you guys seen his podcast studio? No.

You mentioned it. Is it new? Yeah. It looks like the set for like Ellen or like an LA talk. Really? Yeah. Can we see it, TJ? Who owns the podcast?

I just need a mic. I need a mic. Yeah. He does. He's doing pretty well. By the way, can I just say, just a separate, that was a really good job by everyone.

We had a comedian come on, and it worked. You've been on a cold streak with comedians. We just knocked that out of the park. It was because Nick wasn't here. Yeah, true. Ruined the vibes. Totally kills the vibes.

It's like that group of girls that Barstool's Instagram always posts who are like we're drunk right now but we're thriving we're not like dancing on the table we're not doing anything crazy

we were we did it we didn't insult the comedian yeah we did we just had him on it was funny he also took

opening for Sass graciously some other guys might have yeah he helped he reciprocated the energy

which I respected. We're comedian equivalent now. His EQ might be just higher. He might just have a better emotional intelligence. I think he does. Yeah, that was big by us. That's like we don't get that type of growth. Looks like the old Jerry Springer set.

That is an awesome set. I think it's real brick. So the problem, though, with that set, and I would love to ask him, is I think that when you go on a set like that, people have a different energy right now though yeah you know what I mean

like when you're like on a show looks like an old HBO set probably a little more like when people come to PMT and they sit on that fucking gross couch that's like

disgusting and held up by paint cans I think they're like well this show's a joke yeah I think that does help I think it relaxes people kind of like

that's what I'm saying. Like, if you go on that, it's like a real thing. Plus, they all wear Ferragamo on his show and shit. Like, everybody on the show is wearing

like designer shit. Like, everybody's wearing expensive clothing. You go to fucking France once and you say that? Ferragamo? Yeah. Is that a mosaic?

I don't see Ferragamo. That's insane. In glass? My God. That's crazy. Whoa. Jesus. What the heck? Yeah, that's too nice. You guys fucker stay glass? That is insane. Stained glass? That's crazy. Whoa. Jesus. What the heck?

Yeah, that's too nice. You guys fuck with stained glass? That is insane. Yes, big time. I love stained glass. It needs to be more utilized. Really? Stained glass? So sick.

I think it's fine, but then I'll hear some people, I'll bring it up, and people will swoon over stained glass. It's cool. I think a naked silhouette behind stained glass is probably the most erotic image. For real? Oh, you're fucking, you have a nice palette for erotica.

I was going to say, what was your church experience like? My God, it was Monsignors coming around. Yeah, yeah. Monsignors were the, they were the most dangerous. Coming from the sacristy. Or no, who were the ones that could get deacon?

Vestibule. Oh, yeah, deacons were the best. They'd fool around a little. Or no, who were the ones that could get deacon? Vestibule. Oh, yeah, deacons were the best. They were all around a little bit. Deacons were fucking on the side. Priests with hall passes. You were an altar server, right? Of course. Yeah, same.

I was as well. Yeah. Fun stuff. Funerals were where the money was at. True. Did you guys get five bucks for those? Yep, funerals and weddings. You had funerals?

Really? Yeah. You get taken out of school for it. You get more for a funeral than a wedding? Depends on the family. Family. Ierals and weddings. Funerals? Really? Yeah. I would get taken out of school for it. More for a funeral than a wedding? Depends on the family. I wasn't wedding talent. I never got the call out to read. I used to do speeches at church.

You mean readings? Speeches? What was it called? Oh, is that when you fell in love with the stage? Yeah, that's when I knew. I would go improv. obviously so you're doing characters are mainly impressions or it's a fertile i mean the bible's a fertile book to make fun of there's a lot of stuff you can poke fun at in there funny names crazy ideas i used to get so fucking nervous for that i threw up on the altar once. Really? I got so nervous.

It was like my first time. My first Sunday, it was the 1015, which is the mass that's really popping. Heavy hitter. That's like Sass's winter talk show. Oh, you're not going

to get married? Yeah, never. But yeah, I got so nervous. It was during the sermon, so the priest is talking and they had this huge, beautiful rug and I just blew up

fruit loops and milk everywhere all over the... And the milk? Yeah. How many more were there watching? That's like... It was a packed mass. rug and I just blew up fruit loops and milk everywhere all over the milk. How many more were there watching? It was a packed mass. I would have killed to have witnessed that in church. I've never gotten to see anything out of the old church. I loved when there were some little

babies. Not even a faint. The best was we had a toddler faint into the fountain once. How's a toddler fainting? Oh man, they must have been running him. Glory of God just took him over. In that video where the priest's baptizing the baby and they're just throwing the baby around.

Yeah, they're just dunking him so hard. Probably some Turkish shit. Oh, I love that. Greek Orthodox. Find that video. Just went ham on him. Greek Orthodox is strong. They're very zealous in their belief.

It's a very Jewish. It's like Orthodox. Oh, here it is. As a parent, I would die. Oh! What? Oh, my God. He's having a hard time.

Oh, no, he's not. Is that a sketch? There was an overlay of audio. I know the audio was fake, but that was real? That's real. There's other more violent ones. There's more that's like that. There's whole body.

That seemed... I have a question, though. Can you christen people in just pools? I think there's some religions that do it in the ocean, right? Adult baptisms are done in pools. Red Sea, maybe? Also, there's such thing as emergency baptisms. If the baby's about to die.

Yeah, or anybody. If you're on a flight, you could use a bottle of water. I saw it. Did you guys watch the Netflix special Our Father? It's so fucked up. It's a dude in Indianapolis who, like, all these women were going to get inseminated because they couldn't have kids with, like, their husband or whatever, and he was just using his own cum yes and he has like 80 kids and they all i've heard about this they all found out

through 23 and me like slowly they're like wait why am i why am i like close relatives to this random person who lives down the street it was like the 70s and 80s yeah he's so alive he clearly didn't think that like 23 and me would come around right and they were he would like literally like they would he would bring the women in sit him down and then he'd go jerk off and and do it well there's so far there's a guy here in new york city who's kind of infamous and so that because it's really expensive to do that shit yeah and so he'll he like puts an ad on craigslist and he'll meet you in a Starbucks. He goes into the bathroom first. There's an article about it.

You can read how they do it. He goes into the Starbucks bathroom, jerks off. Then the woman who wants to get pregnant takes a turkey baster in there. They exchange the cum. What? She goes into the Starbucks bathroom right then and there. Let me show everyone. He's the horny Batman.

But he's got like 40 kids in New York City. And the mom is cool with it. Explain the turkey baster like I'm five. Well, you do. But yeah, so he's got like 40 something kids. Is he good looking? He's like a math professor or something like that. So he's smart.

And so he just does this for free. Probably hot. But he has had a couple women then change their minds and come at him for child support. No. There's no like like, law involved. Why would he want to do it for free? He just likes the act. I think it's, like, thing.

You can read articles about the guy. Well, there's guys who want to, like, spread their seed. Yeah, there's a whole. Like, CNN and Elon Musk. Oh, yeah. They found out about, like, this, like, part of the documentary. They, like, found out, like, there's this,'s this cult-ish kind of religious sect that basically is only about having as many kids as possible.

And they're like, that might be why he did it. Yeah. I also wonder, it was just some fucking fat doctor from Indiana. If he was a good athlete, would people be as mad? Yeah. Because that would be, you know what I mean? If all these kids went to the NBA. If he had developed a lot of it out. Or if they were all just mean? Like if all these kids went to the NBA. If he had developed it.

Or if they were all just decent. They were all starting on their varsity. Yeah, right. Indiana's got big high school basketball. Isn't there like a Vince Vaughn movie about this? Robert, or De Niro or something? Red Claws. No, I think it's Vince Vaughn.

And he has like 80 kids and like one of them's in the NBA. Oh, I met Vince Vaughn, by the way. I forgot to tell you guys. No way. Oh, really? Rolled into the World is in the NBA. Oh, I met Vince Vaughn by the way. I forgot to tell you guys. No way. Oh, really? Rolled into the World Series of Poker. Yeah, I bumped into him. Wow.

His intro was weird shit. A lot. Yeah. It was competing sports. What was the vibes? He was getting carried in like a chariot. Shaw?

Yeah. Wow. What were you saying, KB? About the turkey baster. I'm over that. This is him, by the way, the Sperminator. As of 2017, he had 26 kids, many fathered in Target bathrooms. What?

The Atlantic Center Target, downtown Brooklyn. I know that Target. They don't even have bathrooms. So they meet him up. In downtown Brooklyn? Yeah, the one right across from Parker. They don't have earbuds for Apple iPhones. They don't have bathrooms either.

They have fake plants, though. The movie's called Delivery Man. It's 500 children. Whoa. There's a sperm donor? Comedy, though. Yeah, one's very funny. Gotta get him on McAfee.

He goes into the bathroom, pleasures himself while watching porn on his iPhone, and ejaculates into a soft cup. Then menstrual... Oh, like a menstrual cup. He jacks off into one of those... He assumed he was watching porn. his iPhone and ejaculates into a soft cup. Then menstrual... Oh, like a menstrual cup. He like jacks off into one of those. He assumed he was watching porn. I would hope so. Like the woman should get to pick the porn.

Yeah, you don't want a hentai baby. Right. No, you're right. You're right. Incest baby. Or like you accidentally cum when it's the angle of the guy's asshole. Yeah, like that baby's gonna be all fucked up.

After I do that, I do penance. Yeah. Yeah, where you just get like a quick camera change at the wrong time. You're like, oh, fuck. I feel like it's just my luck, but it happens a lot. Really? Oh, yeah. It's just like the one angle of just a stroke of fortune.

Yeah. Just like her asshole. I'll open up for a bit for a sec. Does anybody laugh? Has anybody found themselves just having to stop because they were laughing? During porn? Yeah, I watched a girl flip a guy around and she started being the missionary. He was spread.

I just had to close my laptop. I was dying laughing, yeah. That's edgy comedy. I used to do reviews of when COVID first hit. I was just doing reviews of COVID porn, like COVID-themed porns. I was like, oh no, we're stuck in this house together and they're both in the mop suits trying to like fuck each other and they were so bad that yeah no i couldn't couldn't do it anyway you know what's crazy just to circle back to deacons that in uh in british rap culture they'll like call they'll like big sewing up they'll be like this man is the deacon like it's like a term

like he's the man this dude is the deacon shit didn't make any fucking sense to me that is weird this guy is the deacon it was kind of in my head and I just haven't been

able to shake that thought as we've moved on from deacons and it's just I had to unburden myself right there the deacon well the deacon

got a little priest clout but he also got to be married and have sex. And have a Mercedes if you will. Yeah, he's still got the cool clothes. Wasn't there a deacon in King of Queens as well? I didn't ever watch that show, actually. Jerry Stiller, maybe? I knew about it.

I don't think I've ever watched a full episode of King of Queens. That was probably a bigger year than anywhere else, I would imagine. What year was King of Queens? Mid-90s? Yeah, Deacon. Probably like the turn of the... Deacon Palmer. Really?

Is that old? Oh, he's a Deacon Deacon? Is Jerry Stiller dead or alive? He's dead. He's dead. That sucks. Leah Romini no longer a Scientologist. That's right.

I think that's one of those things like once a Scientologist, always one. I don't think you can leave. Isn't that something weird? right? I think that's one of those things like once a Scientologist always won. I don't think you can leave. Isn't that something weird? She did a whole, I mean, she did that whole series about it where she was talking about it

telling all their secrets. Wouldn't it be like Ultimate Scientology? Oh, yeah, yeah. Double cross, double cross. Yeah, to be like, hey, let's get everyone. It's terrible.

They give you millions of dollars and let you fuck who you want. Yeah. I don't know if it was Scientologists or one of the other ones, the Jehovah's Witnesses, but I went hiking the other weekend on the Appalachian Trail, like middle of nowhere. And I'm about three miles in and I go over this bridge and I make this turn in the middle of the woods. And there in the middle of the woods, like no one else around, were three. They were either Scientologists or Jehovah's Witnesses in their Sunday best.

Like suits. Hell no. Ties. I would be so scared. Perfect shoes untouched by mud or dirt. I hate that. And they had the five foot pamphlet holder with all their pamphlets. What?

Like on the trail. In New York? In upstate New Jersey where the Appalachian Trail goes through. I was like out there. Did you talk to him? I made a joke. I had my son on my back in the little hiking pack and I was like, oh, we're just, because he started waving to them and I was like, no, no.

I made some little joke at them but then I fucking beelined. Holy fuck. I don't even remember what I said, but I was like, oh, beautiful day for a hike. I don't know. You should not be in I was like, oh, a beautiful day. We're on a hike. I don't know. You should not be in the woods. The Maccabiah Games are going on. Right.

Jewish Olympics. That's right. The third largest sporting event in the world. They ain't Jewish, dude. 10,000 athletes. But those dudes ain't Jewish. Oh, they weren't? They're Jehovah's Witnesses.

What the fuck? I thought you said they were either Jewish or Jehovah. No, Jehovah's Witnesses were like Scientology. I don't know what they were. When they were fazing. Oh, they're harmless then. KB's anti-Semitism radar went up.

What are these fucking dudes doing in the woods? They're in the Maccabiah game. Yeah. They're in the Maccabiah. What the fuck is their problem? They should be harassing people outside a golf course

in upstate New York. That video's insane. Yeah, yeah. We were probably close to Curious Yoil. It's like my favorite Orange County. I went to get ice cream

afterwards and all the ice cream was kosher. Very nice. We were in Barney. I would love to see that video. Yeah. Which one?

No. The golf car one. KB turns into the honeycomb. It's so fucking funny. Yeah! That's one of my favorite videos

I've ever seen. I watched Ocean's Eleven last night. What a good movie. It's a good movie. I had a film teacher who tried to tell me that it sucked when I was in college. I was like, what movie is this? That's just classic film. The ultimate movie.

I said it's the worst of its kind. It's still a great movie. All Pixar movies are great. He didn't let me finish. Nobody let me finish. But Ocean's Eleven is incredible. I hate when film people try and say they're movies that are like objectively amazing and they're like oh.

Dialogue could have used some work. They hate cool movies. I also wish I had the ability to like it's like with art and movies and music like I have you could put a movie in front of me and all the critics could be like it's the worst like that was awesome yeah what

are you watching like I want to see people be cool yeah but I don't want to see Brad Pitt run a heist five out of ten how do people become critics like even like food like you go out to

a restaurant you just have to be it wasn't snarky dick yeah no the steak was good I don't know what else you want to say especially because it's like a lot of work goes into that shit yeah

well I'll eat like not good yeah yeah like oh What else do you want me to say? Especially because it's like, a lot of work goes into that shit. Yeah. Well, I'll eat anything. It's like, not good. Yeah. Yeah, like, oh. Like a chef. This scene didn't make chefs. Local chefs. Yeah.

Oh, this was bad. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Then you make something better. I should be a food critic and just be like, yeah, it was good. That's why I always try to muscle down, like pizza scores and shit. Pizza scores. You should have ordered something you knew you liked.

Yeah. Yeah. It's your fault. knew you liked. Yeah. It's your fault. What a regret. Yeah. Or just be like yeah it's not for me. When's the last time

you've discovered a new food that you liked? And you were like wow this is a new food that I like. Mine's fruity jam on breakfast sandwiches.

Probably Lomo Saltado. But you kind of already knew you liked I got it this weekend it was so good. You already knew you liked those ingredients. Yeah.

Chicken tikka masala was probably the last for me. Is it weird if I say double ritz? Oh, double ritz. I was trying to get you to say double ritz. Then we'll get double ritz again today. Yeah, spin it. What if we get double ritz again today? We all eat one that kind of makes sense.

Use code YAK for 20% off your first purchase at roback.com. Roback. Best in the biz. What's your latest food fruity jam on breakfast sandwiches fruity jam on breakfast yeah you have been on a jam mood

burrito burrito tacos I was late on with like the dip the augeo kind of dip I went in then out

too wet there's a place in Brooklyn that is like maybe the greatest tacos I've ever had in my life that has burrito and I was just like

so good Nick's got a taco spot that's the best tacos in the city. Maresh's spot. Oh, it's Maresh's. I'm telling you this place is better. I'm telling you it is. Yeah, I disagree. Let's go ahead.

Oh, look at the pictures. Let's go ahead and look at the pictures. This place is so good that there probably isn't pictures online. This place is so good it's like a bodega and there's also a taco spot involved. No, this is an actual restaurant. Okay, so I think I won this argument then. You can't say best in the city unless you've tried everything in the city. Look up Nene's.

Taqueria. N-E-N-E-S. I'm going to get that taco truck today. Oh, so good. So hungry. Yeah, that's very good, but I'm not claiming it's the best in the city, but it's one of the better ones that are locally available. I think it's N-E-N.

The honesty in that review makes me want to listen to it more. I'd love to run that back, that first episode when you put us on to them. Look at these things. Best in the city. Huh. What are we looking at here? Never said that. Yeah, no, no, no.

You like a more gimmicky Instagram Reels meal. Let me see those tacos. Yeah, those look really good. Yikes. That looks incredible. Are you serious? You think that doesn't look good? You think those don't look good?

They look great. They look like something you would love. What does that mean? What the fuck? Look at that. Yeah, that's busy. Yeah, I don't like a busy taco. Yeah, that's a busy taco. I don't like a busy taco. Yeah, that's a busy taco. Look at this.

I don't like a busy taco. I don't like when food is too... That looks good. No, KB likes tacos that are half an inch long, and I've seen you order them before. I think anything should be... I like food at its smallest. Miniature.

And thinnest. It tastes better. Bite-sized food tastes better. We know this. Do you like that catering show? Smash the button. I hate when people say food is fun to eat. When there's a food show and they'll be like, yeah, this one was fun to eat.

What do you mean it was fun to eat? Ooh, cannoli dip. Did you guys consider a burrito to be a food that you need to be sitting down to eat or could you walk with a burrito? We can walk with a burrito. We can walk. I walked with a burrito last night. It was amazing. So good.

That was the only way? Yeah. Was it fun? Were you hoping we all said, like, no way anybody could do that? Yeah, like, holy fuck, dude. You guys said no. I've been like, no, yeah, that's stupid. You're a fucking psycho to do that.

You did a whole burrito? Oh, yeah. Did you stop at all? No. I was just letting it free fall. Crosswalks? Oh, yeah. That's what's good about walking with it.

Did you stop at the crosswalk and eat? Yeah. Were those the big bites? No, they were all the same. A little hands on the granola action. I feel like you kind of, you, a walking equivalent of a burrito. Come again? Mm-hmm.

I'm the walking equivalent of a burrito. Oh, you were walking equivalent. You weren't fully walking while you were eating. Oh, like Everest equivalent. You didn't Everest it. You would definitely get sponsored if you Everested while eating a burrito. While eating a burrito. The whole time.

The whole time. Did you see the guy who just went up Pike's Peak pushing a peanut with his nose the whole way? Oh, my God. That's the thing a guy just did. He taped a- What does that mean? He put on a Bane mask, taped a kitchen spoon to it, and he literally started at the bottom,

and he flicked a peanut all the way to the top. TikTok. Before TikTok, no one was doing this. He's an older guy. The first guy lost a bet in 1920 and did it. People push. Yeah, there he goes. What the fuck?

Fourth person? Yeah. The first guy in 1920. You're not even the first? Didn't even medal He's getting a certificate still? Yep What the fuck? He's got the peanut in an engagement ring box

Sounds like that's PayPal QR code In his chest Dude this guy was the fourth? That sucks The first guy in like 1929 Lost a bet Like at a bar

And he had to do it Another guy did it To promote his music career See if someone did that I would say that's Everest equivalent. Yeah. The peanut? Yeah. It wasn't even one peanut.

It was two dozen different peanuts. Oh, that's bullshit. You have to have the same peanut. I tried to watch a video of him doing it. Oh, wait. And he's on all fours. He flicks it and he's like, no, where'd my peanut go? And it takes him a minute to find it.

He flicks it again. He's like, where'd my peanut go? I thought he didn't drop it the entire time. No, he's on all fours like an animal flicking it with his nose on the ground. That's so dumb. Yeah. It's impressive. Maybe we should watch it.

That's Everest. What were you going to say, Steven? I don't know if this is weird or not, but yeah. Okay. It's about to be weird. Yeah.

Go ahead. With eating a burrito while walking, in high school, I'd regularly walk home and eat a foot-long tuna sub. It was cut in half, but this was several times a week. I think there's something freeing about walking while you eat because you don't have to worry about what gets on the table, what gets on your shoes, getting in stance. As long as you don't... Tuna is a good meat for that sandwich, too.

This is the Pikes Peak guy. Oh my god, there's rocks and shit he crawls the whole way he's looking for it oh my god what a psycho I'm surprisingly in really good shape I don't feel sore or anything

I like him too this is not for TikTok the minute he started talking nose plugged up. I know I lost a lot of weight. I love him. That's one way to lose a little weight. I like that guy.

Yeah, I'm in on that guy. Yeah, he's a treat. Oh my God, that was awesome. Yeah, he just wanted to do that. Yeah. That's fucking sweet. Respect to him. TikTok is back.

Did we talk about Roback? We did, but you can do it again and we should spin the wheel. I hope. I don't even have to. You guys saw how comfortable I was yesterday. Rowback is the best, dude. Yeah, I feel like you've been kind of on a comfortable hot streak, Owen. Ever since you started wearing rowback, you just have been so comfortable in every aspect of your life.

I've been just sleeping better. Mental health's good. I'm getting tickets to games easier. Influencer status. Yesterday we saw somebody buy the exact sweatshirt you're sporting. Influencer status. Oh, yeah, I'm not sure. I was just explaining a bunch of different sponsors at once.

Yeah, that was good. Trying to. No, you're influencer status now. Someone bought a sweatshirt. I was going to say, I wonder what we could get people to do being influencers like the dumbest thing and Then I remembered everyone's chugging wood so With people drink only dumb until you try it Yeah, have you guys tried putting in the freezer for a little bit let it get slushy like thin mints I left one in and it exploded fill them with skittles

sour skittles and then put it in the freezer I like to pour one in it's curtains I put it in a watermelon and then cut it up into cubes

and eat the watermelon it's curtains a lot of ways it's curtains sorry spin that you can do a number with that uh oh

oh yep a number with that. Uh-oh. Oh. Yep. Wow. Yay. Okay, so. All right, and this is on. We have to figure out who it's on.

Yeah, we have to figure out who it's on. Wait, I thought we, didn't we cut that deal that it's going to be done on me? It's going to be done on Zah. Yeah, so it's, you've got to decide who's doing it. Okay. Yes, that's right. Thank done on Zah. Yeah, so it's either side who's doing it.

Okay. Yes, that's right. Thank you, Zah. Zah is the permanent subject of it. All right, so this will be. We don't have to rush this. Yeah, no, next week I think everyone's out. Everyone has to be here for it,

but it will be good that the person can start planning. I thought we perma-hosted. I like the perma-sub. Yeah, no, I like that Zah is the automatic QB on this. All right, so put everyone on the wheel. Except Nick. I'm that it's Oz, the automatic QB on this. Alright, so put everyone on the wheel. Except Nick. I'm going to be honest. Can we just have Nick do it again? It's a good game.

It's a lot of pressure. Keep him on the wheel then. Keep Nick on. I think Nick's going to help whoever it ends up. A wild consultant. I already have an idea for if it lands on. I do too. One idea.

That would be very fun. Eliminator? I'll give the idea to whoever it lands on. I think just whoever it lands on does it. No elimination. Yeah. No. Elimination, yeah.

Tell him, tell him. Yeah. I like suspense. You don't like suspense? I do. I love secret window. Underrated. Objectively, the best thing. All right. Whoever're out on the field. I love Secret Window. Underrated. Objectively, the best thing.

All right. Whoever it lands on does it. Sass. Damn. All right. Woo. All right. This boy's unflappable these days.

Yeah, he is. I know. It's Moe Drobac. No, it was Eliminator. That was Eliminator? You just weren't paying attention. I was just paying on it. Sorry.

Man, I kind of wanted to see Rome. I know. I had some ideas. Damn. I'll get to do it someday. Probably not, man. It'll be tough to try to duplicate or follow. Oh, I wanted to see Kate do it.

Oh, if I get it, I'm using it. Nick is going to write half of it for me. Oh, yeah. The old Brandon Walker technique. Yes. Brandon did get it. You got a big fucking salary from that. From Nick writing stuff? Yeah.

And Nick's salary got cut somehow. Yeah. Nick got less money. Nick's back on part time. Yeah, he has to do graphics now. He's at the big graphics summit up in St. Paul. I think we're all rooting for Nick. We'd love to have Nick.

This sucks now for me and Owen. That's a good one. If one of us gets it, everyone's going to be like, we wish it was Nick. This really sucks. Owen has a weird brain, though. I could see him fucking flourishing. I like all these picks. Also, Owen's, I don't think, ever been picked in the first five picks of the wheel.

He's always to the end, to the bitter end. Big Cat would come up with some twist. I have one thing that would be very funny. He has, yeah. Big Cat does. Okay, we have who it is. It's presented by Nick and Big Cat. No, let's spin.

We need to spin. Yeah, I mean, we could just do it that. I could host it, and Nick could help me, because he's going to help me regardless. Or he'll just have to do it. Yeah, yeah, I'll do it, and I'll have Nick help me. Get you on the flyer. You're going to leave the wheel with two. All right, fine, fine.

Spin it, spin it. You're right. You're right. So what if this is who it isn't, right? All right, so there it is. It's me. What color is it? Oh, that's who it isn't?

Well, yeah, because Nick is off, and it leaves me. Okay. So it's me. So I'm going to have Nick help me. I'm actually very excited for the one thing. I already bought something for it. No way. Okay.

Well, it was for something else, but it's going to be very fun. Does it involve shooting a fly with a piece of salt? We'll see. Have you done that? I've gotten it. I had one of those. That's great. Yeah, that's right.

I'm going to drop a lot of money on this. How much? How much are we talking? Ten? Mid-five? Let's get a snake. Show it to Helium. Show it to Helium. Do I have one?

No, no. To cancel it? After Schultz? Schultz bailed on opening. He lost his opener. Now Akash won't come either. Do we know when this wild might happen? So next week I'm out.

I think a couple people are out. I think Nick and KB are both out. Just Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. So, and then Roan, you you're out i don't think so but i might be out monday tuesday wednesday okay so then i'll be back august 1st so we could do it we could do it that week so i'm um that week i'm out for the classic on the first and the second all right so we'll do it later on the week yeah it'll be it'll be the first week of aug so we'll do it later on in the week. No rush. Yeah. It'll be the first week of August. I'll have it all planned. Should we do it here or should we go to a field?

Ooh, that could be fun. I'm going to bring the field here, brother. Ah. A little turf, man. I don't know how to do that part of it. We could bring a field here. We could easily get some mulch in here. You have a turf guy.

He made the Yak logo in turf. He did? Let him up. Frankie Borelli has a turf guy, too. No. Oh, he has a good turf guy Borelli has a turf guy too. No. He has a good turf guy. Chappelle's a turf guy. He is.

Yes, Owen. Yes, brother. Remember when turf wasn't popular for high schools and your high school got turf? It applies to me. I don't know about you guys. There was turf technology. I don't know about you guys. There was turf technology.

The collective memory. When did turf technology... Yeah, I'm a little too old. When did that happen? Turf technology was like 2000. I feel like... It's probably old. It's probably very old,

but it started becoming common in the early 2000s. I think it was because Vinny Testaverde got hurt in week one of 1999, I think, and then the Jets decided to change their... To field turf? Yeah, I believe so. That was that early? I thought field turf was more...

He got hurt in week one, so I think it was a big initiative. Yeah, Curtis Martin was on the field. No, uh... He was. Michael Irvin got knocked out at the vet post that time. I cheered you. Estiverde went to high school in my town. Shut up!

No pools. Legend. And he went to Miami, bro. Miami Dolphins. Legend. Yeah, find out when the first NFL turf, field turf, was installed. And they had next turf in. And then there was that swing back where it was like the rubber pellets are causing cancer.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think grass is back in vogue, right? Grass is back. I don't believe you, Steven, because I told you 5G. Is it really? Because I remember being. I think high schools are trying to switch back. No, that's AstroTurf.

When's the first field turf? So the link opened up and had it. 2003. I met a guy at a party in Philly who had an Eagles Super Bowl ring and he was like, I'm the grass guy. That's what I do and we get rings too. And he went to University of Tennessee or something

for grass field management. That's amazing. Those guys are more important than doctors. The White Sox guys are the best. The White Sox guy is called the Sodfather. Really? Pretty fucking sick name. That's so much better than all the guys.

The guys must have been furious that they didn't come up with that. Grass should be heralded with the oceans, the seas. 2002. So you were wrong, Steven. What was the stadium? Seahawks. Seahawks. 2002.

Yeah, I feel like it was like the mid-2000s was when it started. Oh, but that's not. I mean, the vet in Philly. The link was 2003. No, but the vet had turf. No, but we're not talking about AstroTurf. We're talking about field turf. Rubber pellets.

Oh, what about NextTurf? What was NextTurf? Way before the 2000s. The Born to Run Sports Complex in Grove City, PA had it really early. Oh, yeah. I remember that. AstroTurf. What's the difference between AstroTurf and NextTurf?

AstroTurf is the stuff that does not have rubber pellets it's just that's the stuff that all the guys at the vet yeah they literally it's just cement which is colored green yeah which is very fucking sweet yeah everyone would just get hurt people are getting knocked the fuck out i mean knock the fuck out yeah 2002 well there you go. You were right. More you know. Why don't they just play on wrestling mats? That would be cool. That would be sweet.

Because you can't really run like that, can you? Would sand be safe? Some sort of shoes. It would be an equalizer. I mean, the football players should wrestle. Different seasons will help with their tackling. They don't have the scholarships for it. Oh, no. Is that true?

They don't have the scholarships for what? I'm just saying it's a tool to help you improve as a football player. Oh, no. You replied to a few people over one season on the mat and you'll probably earn one of the 85 to 90 scholarships. Which is way too many, right? One of the 100 and you'll probably earn one of the 85 to 90 scholarships. Which is way too many, right?

One of the 100 D1 programs. So you're saying it could help your football game? A lot. I think Saban's been saying that. The Alabama boys don't know about wrestling. Mississippi doesn't have it. That true? They don't wrestle? They don't even have high school wrestling.

That's kind of ironic. Dude, I'm about to eat some poke. Yeah? I want to eat a fucking poke bowl badly, dude. Do I have permission to launch? That was like the loudest noise ever. I don't know why that was so loud. Launch.

Can we put up the link to Sass' show to buy? No, no, no. We don't need to do that. Why? Because we don't need to. Thank you, though. I appreciate it. Why wait what are you doing for the opener you should just come out and be no no i have an opener but i don't know who it is you should be your own opener and just do all your bad jokes right also i'll be right back credit to sass coming back in between shows. Workhorse. Is that true? It is, yes.

I will be here tomorrow. So you're not staying over? No, I am. Oh. Well, I'm not going to go home at midnight from Philly. Staying at Smitty's? No, I have a hotel. Stay at Smitty's.

You've got to go out to Smitty's. Or Jordy's. Isn't Smitty not in Philly? He's in the Burbs. I say it like that. Why are you trying to disparage him? You see Gilly go off on Rick Ross. That was fucking amazing.

It was such a good movie. Gotta see this. That was a roast. A lot of good quotables. Yes. You can't un-l was a roast. A lot of good quotables. Yes. I caught the bitch. I didn't bought the bitch. Yeah. You can't un-lame a lame.

We're obviously taking out the N-words. Oh, yes. Saying it, yeah. If we, uh... Yeah, that shit was funny as fuck. I can't believe he's beefing with Rick Ross.

I'm only gonna tell you this. I love it. This shit got me fired up. You better stop fucking playing on me man You hit me in mind your fucking business man Because you went on the nigga Instagram page Commenting about me Calling me out my name my nigga

For no motherfucking reason at all This is how this shit started So I'm gonna tell you again man Leave me the fuck alone man I see your little funky ass video I spend more money on my cow's hooves Than you spend on your wife you're probably right nigga because i ain't bought our quarter nigga she fuck with me

because who i'm blessed to be not because i bless her with a fee but ain't she i put molly all in her drink she ain't even know it goddamn ricky raper bitch stop talking, man, because money don't un-lame a lame, nigga. There's a lot of suck-ass niggas out here with money, and you on the list. Matter of fact, you the captain of the Suckers with Money Association of America, nigga, and we ain't impressed. So mind your business,

because that's your problem. You're always minding niggas' business. You was minding Birdman business some years back when you was running around talking about give Khaled the money you owe him around talking about give Khaled the money you owe him. Will you give Meek the money you owe him, nigga? Because you got him

in a 1914 slave deal. A Harriet Tubman joint that he signed when he was 19 and now he's 35. I thought you said a boss is one that guarantee we gonna eat.

Well, why you ain't renegotiating with a real nigga? Thank God he's fucking with them white boys. He fuck around and be broke, busted and disgusted fucking with you. is when the guarantee we go eat why you ain't renegotiating with a real thank god he with them white boys he around be broke busted and disgusting with you he's a hell of a businessman though salute to your meek but stop talking about money man and stop pushing that bel-air on because they don't drink that no more i got the ice electric blue body and i got the lime green bottle that float in the air like a Latin carpet. We don't give a fuck.

We don't want it, man. Niggas don't drink that shit, man. And slow up on them goddamn lemon peppers because you're about a sixth piece away from a heart attack, nigga. Leave me the fuck alone. I'm telling you, this ain't what you want like Lil Durk for a single, nigga. Why did the beef start? Don't know. Didn't, don't need to know.

No. I think, uh, uh, Gilly just made fun of Rick Ross for getting, uh, a fucking, he got a cow. And Gilly was like, what, you're fucking spent, dudes are spending money on the wrong shit. And, uh, I think Rick Ross came back and the whole internet was like, well, now he owns a cow. And that means that he has like he there's like tax loopholes to it or something like that, saying that he was actually smart. Rick Ross was coming at him. It might have something to do with maybe Rick Ross is getting a podcast. Oh, I think Rick Ross pretty much said that he was going to start a podcast to spite them because of this beef.

Oh, yeah. No one's going to listen a podcast to spite them because of this beef. That doesn't mean no one's going to listen. They'll listen to the first episode to hear what he says about the beef and then it'll be over. Gilly was like, why does he have a cow? And then Rick Ross is like, I spend more money on my cows than you do on your whole family. And just freaked out on him. He ain't bought her, he caught her.

It's not hard, man. That's too much money on cows. Yeah, you shouldn't. He caught her. It's not hard, man. That's too much money on cows. Yeah. You should be budgeting for cows. Yeah. He's hilarious. Goes broke on buying cows. He just randomly started rhyming in the middle.

I know. I can never tell if he said the words before. Guys like that have a set thing of phrases in their head in the chamber that they can bust. They have to. There's no way. Whenever they're like, I'm talking to your pocket like a rocket like they say that shit all the time but the first time i heard it i was they they're so good at weaving it in seamlessly yeah i took it as like a written monologue but still thought it was like the best even if it was

written word for word it was years cares yeah good shit but i think some of it he was freestyling like little dirkson i didn't i didn't understand all the references i'd say i went like over Good shit. I think some of it he was freestyling. Like Lil Durksey. I didn't understand all the references. I'd say I went like 0 for 7 on references. I enjoyed the Bel Air. Yeah, I kind of understood that. It's a flashy drink.

It's the one I took from Keys. One floats like Aladdin's carpet. That was you, Owen? You took that? Rest assured, Kelly, nobody drinks that shit anymore. That was true. Was that bad? I got the blue bottle. It wasn't good.

The blue bottle. That was the blue bottle he was talking about. He was making fun of Kelly Keegs in that video. Sneak this. That's fucked up. Did you see Kelly's video? It's her mom's birthday. The cupcake delivery guy.

Yeah, it was very funny. He just threw it. It was very funny. I love videos like that. Delivery guys who just throw the box at your house. Oh, that's awesome. Someone just pulls up her mom's driveway in a white truck, opens the window, and not just like, they throw a box of cupcakes onto the driveway.

She got the whole thing on video? And they pull it. It's on their ring camera. Yeah, it's very funny. Oh, she tweeted, I want to watch this. I love this. I love delivery guys that don't give a fuck and if you ever met them

they don't give a fuck they do not give a fuck it's like oh this is awesome yeah Sass cupcakes that's crazy

oh that's awesome Sass you could probably or uh KB you could probably tell us exactly where that house is. I am very confused. I thought they lived in Jersey.

It doesn't look like Jersey. Is that a gravel driveway? I guess it could be. It looks like a milk box. They went from West Village to the Hamptons but couldn't get out of the car. We owe Keegan an appearance on this show, by the way. I was about to say that, too. We owe Keegan an appearance on this show for Bumper.

Is she here right now? I want to hear about this cup. We have her in right now and that'll be her appearance for the last minute or two. I'm kidding. She has to be on for a full episode. She had a bachelorette party last weekend. She's got two more. Three in a row. Three weekends in a row.

That hotspot. You get to that age when it's just like whole life just runs by bachelor parties and weddings, fuck. Then don't you have to go to the wedding?

Yeah. How far after a bachelor slash bachelorette party is a wedding? Sometimes like a couple months. Sometimes, I've done them where it's like two weeks

which actually is very fun because then it's like inside jokes right away. Everybody's still, yeah. Yeah, because if you go a couple months, it's like, oh, yeah, I remember that kind of.

Forget some people's names and shit. I feel like it used to be like the night before. Yeah. That's what I thought it was. I don't know. Especially in movies. In movies, it's always like one hour until the marriage. Yeah.

Hangover specifically. Hangover specifically, yeah. There's three of them. That's true. Hangover one, two, and three. Were they getting married in all three? I never saw two. I never saw three.

Two was in Thailand? There's a third hangover? Three is not that good. Two was in Thailand, right? Two was in Thailand. I guess. Are they not getting married in all of them? I don't know.

I doubt it. They must have paid for that third one. Yeah, that third one must have been. The third one, they were doing stunts and shit. Let's find out how much they made for the third one. Yeah, that third one must have been... I like how you could just see how much they make. Let's find out how much they made for the third Hangover. That shit's just online. Yeah, Bradley Cooper just fucking... That's

the actor you kind of need to be, is like where you can just do these stupid movies for so much money and then be like... Yeah, but the Hangover one's not as... That's a hilarious movie. No, I'm not saying... Yeah, I'm saying like, as an artist yeah be halloween probably 15 million oh and they got paid on the back oh wow unreal they got taken care of wow how much did uh how much alex shaffer got for win-. You know Marlon Brando when he did The Godfather? He was like broke

and his deal worked in like a percentage of sales and because he was so broke his agent was like he just wants $100,000 he'll give back the points. No way. He got the $100,000 and just didn't get any

of the... Really? Holy shit. Search that. it's crazy Marlon Brando Brando. Yeah, he was like when he was filming it He was broke and he's like I'd rather have the hundred thousand dollars right now. Didn't get any of the Percentage back that's up there with Cuban passing on pambas Samba socks right now Cuban passed on Bombas. No Bombas?

No. He was going to draft them. What socks are they? Bombas. Bombas? Bombas? What are the little peanut butter puff things? Are those Bombas?

Bombas? Peanut butter puffs. For kids. I think Bombas is socks. Bombas. Socks and a... No, I'm not giving it. I don't have the peanut butter puffs.

I know what you're talking about. What are they called? I'm not surprised they're't have the peanut butter puffs I know what you're talking about What are they called? I'm not surprised They're bombas I need to get them What are those little Banana puffs You eat those?

No banana puffs He's not eating those He's a baby I have fucking banana puffs Puffs in general Marlon Brando In Apocalypse Now They're like

We want you to be skinny For this role And he just wouldn't get skinny He just stayed fat Big ask Yeah I mean It was like a big movie too though that's what what's his name did for uh the new batman who was it rob robert pattinson he got fat oh they were like we want you to get big and he was like no he got pretty big though he was still kind of chiseled he already was kind of big though yeah they were steroids Christian Bale. Did you know Marlon

Brando's son killed his daughter's boyfriend? No. What? Yeah. That's a fun fact. I'm listening to this podcast right now. Remember that guy Robert Blake who killed his wife? Of course. She was like a notorious grifter who was like married ten times

and finally like Robert Blake was the only Hollywood star that she could trick into like marrying her but she did get pregnant but when he was like I 10 times and finally like robert blake was the only hollywood star that she could trick into like marrying her with a but she did get pregnant but when he was like i don't care that you're pregnant she was like who else can i target and tell him it's the dad and she's like christian brando um marlon brando's son because he was just like such a huge fuck up right so she went and slept with him like a month after she was already pregnant and she was like it's yours and he was like awesome. Sweet. But anyway. Yeah. He killed his.

Marlon Brando had two kids. And he killed. Like purposely. Like he murdered them. Murdered his. Marlon Brando's daughter's boyfriend. And he went to jail for a while. And then Marlon Brando like hit him away in the hills.

Whoa. For the rest of his life or something. This man is currently hiding in the hills. I don't know if he's still alive anymore. I don't think he's still alive. Will he go find him? How old is Marlon? 49. He died at 49.

Yeah. Yeah, it was like an event. Oh, well, I mean, if the boyfriend was being abusive, it's kind of like a... But he was like a wild card. He was like a Hollywood wild card,

the Brando kids. Anyway, that was random. I was just listening to this podcast and talking about it, so I thought I'd throw it out there. That's a fun fact. Jacob Elordi refused to wear skinny jeans in Euphoria Season 2. They tried to get him to.

We'll see what happens. That's embarrassing as fuck for him. Why did they try to make him wear skinny jeans, though? No creative direction. Whoever the costume designer is is a fucking idiot. Yeah, a lot of rewrites. We're on. Piece of shit.

Probably win a fucking award. Yeah. For designing a costume where Sidney Sweeney's ass naked. That shit's not cool. Best costume ever. Sidney like that, dude? She's naked. Talking about the costume designer, bro.

Just don't. Just keep Sidney's name out of your mouth. Why didn't he want to wear skinny jeans? Thought it was a... No print. Ah. Oh. It's a tiny dick.

You know that guy Chase Crawford that we had him in studio not too long ago on The Boys? They had to CGI his dick to be smaller. Yeah. How sick is that? I saw, I actually saw yesterday on Twitter, someone said that about his dick to be smaller. Yeah. How sick is that? I actually saw yesterday on Twitter, someone said that about William Dafoe, too. Really? Yeah. That's got to be the greatest thing ever.

You have to get a dick double. Yeah, they were like, your dick is too big. Yeah, they said it would take away from the artistic shot in the movie. I was just laughing the whole time thinking about some fucking super talented, Quigs-like guy whose entire job is just to do CGI but if they were just telling him that though and it and it wasn't and it but he was they're just like no your dicks too big actually that's the problem it's just fucking massive we should go out for like a micro penis infomercial just to feel that yeah sorry

it's too big oh is it oh it? Brother, this isn't micro. What is this? The hell are you doing? I mean, TJ? My penis. Well, I'm Defoe's cock. Wow. My penis goes out from between my legs. But imagine being the stunt cock with the small dick.

Right, what do you guys need me for? Yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, my small cock. Oh, that makes sense. days work yeah that's how you cut your teeth yeah right just making money like the rest of us you got in the biz damn yeah that's fucking tough that's that's got to be embarrassing how do they even find that guy they got to take his word for it yeah well that's like like being casted as the fat person.

The ugly person. I feel like everyone knows you're fat. Everyone knows your dick is small. When you become that character. Right. A hyperbolized version of it, too. That's embarrassing. Did he have to look like Willem Dafoe otherwise, too?

He look exactly like Willem Dafoe and just regular dick? Or was his whole body double? Or did they have similar asses? Like, it would have to be a similar – not just any small dick would do. Because Willem Dafoe's a unique fella. Yeah, he is. So he has to be – His name's weird, too.

All right, I got to run. All right, well, let's end the show. All right. So that way everyone can blame it on you, not me. Damn, Sass. Why are you ending the good times? All right, I guess, yeah, it's over. More fun times, Sass?

I have a train in mind. See everyone tomorrow. Thanks a lot, Sass. How am I supposed to come to the show if you've got to train in 10 minutes? You fucked me. Sass, enjoy the show. Enjoy the show to whoever's listening and attending. Hello, birds.

Good night. Hello, birds. Ticket links in the chat. Subscribe, subscribe, subscribe. Go Big T.J. Oh, shit. Bye.