The Yak - Could Titus Rizz Up Helen of Troy? | The Yak 6-13-24
Episode Date: June 13, 2024A mist of cowardiceYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Uh-oh.
You want it?
You want me to do it?
Yeah.
Get over there, Tidy.
You're a better ambassador.
Do we have to?
You're a better ambassador.
Mm-hmm.
What?
Hang on.
Yeah.
Hang on.
Hang on.
Roback.
That's right.
Roback Activewear. You guys know how much we all love Roback. Best fit, best feel. on yeah hang on hang on rowback that's right rowback activewear you
guys know how much we
all love rowback best
fit best feel so check
out rowback and use
code yak y-a-k at
rowback.com for 20% off
your first purchase
r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com
that's promo code yak
yeah
stairs dude yeah
that's a bad stairs
take it out of you
guys no one flight
yeah you can you went down the stairs mook I went up I went Dude. Yeah? That's a bad sign. Stairs take it out of you guys? No. One flight? Yeah.
You went down the stairs, Mook.
I went up and down.
Oh, that'll get you.
Yeah, I left the gun.
That'll get you.
How was yesterday?
What did I miss?
Anything sick?
Any lingo or any jokes that I need to get caught up on?
Mook spent over a grand on a date once.
Yep.
That is like 110% of your net worth.
Yeah, this was when I had money.
Okay.
What were you like when you had money?
Happy.
Very happy.
Yeah, yeah.
Things were good.
Yeah, I spent that much.
We talked about units of measurement financially, which are now, I think of anything I buy,
I think of in rounds of drinks at the bar.
Oh, wow.
Nikki Smokes was here.
White Sox Dave.
Danny Conrad.
Good voice.
Good crew.
We talked about Gary, Indiana.
Talked about Gary, Indiana.
Is Gary as bad as it seems?
Yeah.
Murder-wise?
I've been there a few times never murdered um so you never murdered or yeah yeah i've never been murdered so i guess it can't be that bad um but yeah it's
it's very quickly like a place you want to get out of yeah but i don't think you know like when
you go to the city you're not like i'm about to die any second now but you are like this is this is depressing
and i would gary kyle gary yeah it feels more just sad it feels more sad than dangerous it's just
good yeah i'm never really scared in gary but i am just like i'm not in gary very often yeah
there's a kids museum there that i've been it's actually on my bucket list museum can't wait to
take my kids to gary it seems like a great spot yeah oh kate was seduced by a
chocolate croissant that happened is that a nickname of a man a black frenchman my chocolate
croissant yes uh we we uh no just love talking standards what are your standards for being
impressed by a woman or a man and my pat when we first mean like
like intelligent yours is chocolate croissant when we first started hanging out we i stayed
at his hotel one night and in the morning he was like how about these and he had chocolate croissants
and like yeah were those complimentary no he like ordered them up to the room and i was like wow
okay i was like my standards were so that i was like, my standards were set up that I was like, this is like a real.
What hotel was it?
The W, I think.
Okay.
New York City.
I don't know.
All right.
She didn't say that.
That was when I was living with two other Barstool employees in Queens and I lived in
the sunroom with a shower curtain door.
Who did you live with?
Remind us who you lived with.
Nick Hamilton.
Okay.
And, um, oh my God.
The Zero block 30 producer
bright radio bren oh i lived with those two and a son what a ragtag crew it really was
were you like 21 no this was were you like yeah like four years ago
yeah no it was i believe i was in my 30s on an air mattress in a sunroom with a shower curtain door.
I always like hearing about barstool roommates, like Trent and Robbie, fun.
You and Chuck Naso.
Was it two years with Chuck?
I did.
Two years, yeah.
And you guys didn't know each other before, did you?
It was a good situation.
Yeah.
We did our own thing.
We got yelled at.
I always had to answer the door because
radio brian would play call of duty too loud and the neighbors would get mad i was like the
it's good times did you guys like dine together no but nick hamilton we had a share a kitchen
table and nick hamilton he was brand new at barstool and he was just constantly working
all weekend long at the kitchen table he's always working oh wait yeah it was did that piss you off a little yeah i was like what the fuck i don't
like when people work around yeah i didn't like that did you and chuck ever get into it kyle
get into like a spat two years together yeah we got into something what does that mean my um
rock collection didn't know you had one yeah what happened to it it's didn't make the
move damn but no Chet we didn't we stayed in our rooms pretty much I was
leaving a lot it was so cramped that I would always leave and just like go
prance around mm-hmm just walk around Manhattan it's been a while I've had
roommates what's the quintessential dispute dishes cleanliness dishes
bathroom food sharing uh that's pretty cut and dry don't don't touch my shit yeah right it's
always dishes and don't leave your shit in the common area i lived with two i lived in a three
bedroom after that with strangers it was like a craigslist apartment and one guy who was
single and then a couple that lived in the front like bedroom that spells disaster but they always
were in the common area like snuggled up on the couch like making out and like constantly like i
don't think i ever had access to the common area and they never bought toilet paper and after a
while started to eat away at me that i was the only one buying toilet paper yeah but yeah where do you think it's supposed to say anything of course i was
the worst roommate in in i was living with my two best friends in philly and i was the guy
asking for toilet paper leaving my shit in the sink i would be like i'm letting it soak
oh that that so having a pan soak yeah i don't know if that ever works no no but it's an excuse to not do dishes
for sure have you been taken advantage of by a roommate nick no no i think i've pretty pretty
much had pretty good experiences nice yeah no it's all been good unless i was the bad roommate
you were the bad roommate if i don't if i didn't have a bad roommate i was the bad roommate. You were the bad roommate. If I didn't have a bad roommate, I was the bad roommate?
Yes.
Could very well be.
Yeah.
I think in college I was the bad roommate.
I would come home drunk, and if I didn't have any food or snacks, I'd be like...
Yeah, I would steal my roommate's snacks.
He had the best.
I would get high, and my roommate in college had leftover Chinese food, and I would just
take one General Tso's chicken.
Uh-huh. Back and forth. It was one General Tso's chicken back and forth.
It was the scummiest shit ever, dude.
I kind of miss
the roommate life, though.
It was the excitement of the first day.
Like in college?
Like any new apartment with a
roommate. You're both moving in
together. Oh, we're going to have a party.
Let's put a projector. Dude, Oh, yeah. You're both moving in together. Oh, we're going to have a party. Let's put a projector.
Fucking sick, dude.
Yeah.
Dude, we ordered turf for our backyard.
Yeah?
And it was like the, we got so hyped.
We were like, we have turf now.
What was your backyard?
It was like a tiny little patio area.
Oh, and you had turf on the back?
Yeah, we ordered turf and we were like, we're real dudes now.
Yeah, but what did you do on the turf?
Nothing.
Yeah.
Stood on it.
Yeah, we would always attempt to have a party god damn it didn't work yeah we put up like light like christmas lights in the
backyard they start a fire tables cups didn't work yeah i don't think i had i've ever had a
successful party damn that hurts to hear yeah that hurts me i know it would all just be like our our friends and never like blew up into
like a couple girlfriends yeah i would even like post it on snapchat you would post the party on
snapchat yeah like what would you post did you have fake sponsors for it party tonight
and that would be like it didn't work what was your snapchat humor were you funny
on snapchat or you just no my humor was my name was cute kitten 69 okay and that was that's where
it began and every day i'd be like uh bros and hoes party or like shit like that yeah yeah yeah
i'm in a dress i'm naked what you would just like have you say you're in a dress I'm naked What? You would just like have
I would be naked and like draw over my dick
With the snapchat
Like markers
I did that too
Yeah that's all you needed to do
That's risky dude
I sent Brandon
A picture of me naked
A couple years ago before I worked here
And uh It was me standing in the mirror naked Brandon a picture of me naked a couple years ago before I worked here.
And it was me standing in the mirror naked, but I used the – it was on St. Patrick's Day.
And I just had the four-leaf clover emoji over my dick.
And I made sure it was not a pixel larger.
It was the exact size of my dick. Everything was covered, but there was no excess green.
Is he covering his vagina? Yeah, yeah. Everything was covered, but there was no excess green.
Is he covering his vagina?
Yeah, yeah.
But like seeing that, you could only, I was just like, okay, I'll just send it to my co-worker.
I couldn't send it to anybody else. I have to send this to somebody.
Yeah, and I sent it to Brandon.
The exact.
And seeing your dick is one thing, but seeing something that's the exact same size as your dick but not your dick is jarring.
It's the worst feeling.
Kate would have to use the octopus emoji.
Yeah, it would be.
How was the rediscovering shoot?
Chicago has a lot to offer.
Yeah.
Chicago has a lot to offer.
Long day.
Heard you guys got hate-crimed.
Yeah, that was surreal lot to offer long day heard you guys got hate crimes yeah that was that was
surreal yeah it was surreal
yeah they thought
they thought Kyle you
I look so I look
couldn't have looked more
like a Jewish person's ever looked
at her it doesn't get old
just everything Jewish
makes me laugh every anatomical
every anatomical inch of my body looks Jewish.
Yes.
And that was right outside of Barack Obama's barber shop.
Really?
Yeah.
So I'm prancing around like that.
And I get hate crimes.
Oh, my God.
So somebody just drove by and was like, wow.
No, walked by.
Oh, damn.
It was in a plaza with an H&R Block. That's always a bad sign. OK. Yeah. H&R drove by and was like, wow. No, walked by. Oh, damn. It was in like a plaza with like an H&R Block.
That's always a bad sign.
Okay, yeah.
That's where you-
H&R Block, Baskin Robbins.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, and you got singled out.
Oh, you're here now?
Yeah.
Fuck you.
Out of the way.
Not here.
Did you guys say anything back?
You're like, I'm supposed to be a Blues Brother.
No, you're just like-
No, some other guy walking by was like blues brothers and the dude was like
oh he thought he was they were talking to him and then it was redirected and he he wanted to
fuck me like fuck me up oh two very different things. He came toward me with a traveling middle finger.
Oh, shit.
He had a duffel bag, so I was like, oh.
Don't want to fuck with a guy in a duffel bag in front of an H&R Block.
Could be a snake in there.
Could be.
But yeah, the line between Blues Brother and Jewish Man is a tie.
I didn't realize that until now.
You have a tie or shades.
Look at you, Kyle.
Yeah, because Donnie. Donnie's Blues Brother at you Kyle Donnie's blues brother
Nick kind of did
But you brother
My god
Blues brother drunk guy
At the end of a wedding reception
Kyle looks like
Me and Kyle we got these costumes
For Rediscovering
we started shooting it like a month ago i lost everything the first day yeah that is not the
pants that's not the shirt that's not those are mine but i don't have a black tie i don't have
the hat i forgot the shades yeah you looked like uh donnie's agent his money man yeah you did
you really did i don't know i'm just so like we've been dressing up in costumes
and going out for how long now yeah and i used to be so ashamed and now you don't feel anything
anything anymore i remember the first one we did we were dressed like pill like uh renaissance men
and i was so embarrassed to be wearing it and then i saw donnie just walking through the
airport in it he didn't give a fuck i was like i'll never be like that and now i just i don't
we are nothing phases yet desensitized it feels pretty good actually yeah but then you'll get
hate-crimed and then it actually is like therapeutic i don't feel the weight of judgment anymore
yeah like in all senses like i just disregard other people in public isn't it it's
like exposure therapy it's got it was yeah it worked well like i recommend that yeah if you're
super shy wear something ridiculous out yeah and like most people don't care or they'll like laugh
yeah were you like a goofy apparel guy to like college parties?
Yeah, but I was trying to be like fashionable.
Oh, okay.
Cargo shorts, plaid shirt, loafers.
Yeah.
Okay.
I would go to the South Street in Philly,
the t-shirt shops there that had like the stupid hats and shirt like that. Oh, yeah.
Like the Wildwood Boardwalk.
And I had a hat that said, I heart my vagina.
And I thought for some reason that that was like the funniest hat to wear to parties.
And then I had a shirt with Idaho.
It was like, Idaho, no Udaho.
And I thought that that was like super fucking funny.
No, it definitely is.
I wore those hats.
That's funny.
Yeah.
That's fucking hilarious.
It counts.
I owned the back-to-back World War Champion shirt at one point.
Oh, nice.
I think we sell that on the barstool floor. Yeah, it might be for sale. It's on sale now. So snag that. I, nice. I think we've sold that on the bar so far.
Yeah, it might be for sale.
It's on sale now, so snag that.
It's a great shirt.
Very cool and silly.
But at the time, I was like, I'm the fucking man.
Yeah, I don't remember.
I never was a words on t-shirt guy.
Like nothing funny.
You weren't a graphic tee guy? I like band t-shirts but like not like kyle when you got
arrested you had the fuck you shirt on right free yourself with free yourself the re was censored
they censored the re
blew a 0.02
that's communion i played half a game of beer pong and then got arrested.
Hit in a closet.
And it was the most embarrassing thing because the cops just came in, opened the closet.
And what did you do?
Did you try to stay still or did you?
I got a wrestling scholarship.
You can't do this.
That's what you said?
Then I went to college and got arrested on the first weekend
yeah wait so that was right before college yeah was it in kent or in wheeling in wheeling first
and then i went to um yeah then went to college and got arrested and then i got arrested my last
day for lighting up a bowl no way first time smoking wrestling season's done
i'm like i can try it now we went to the the makeshift forest and yeah is it traumatic
just a patch of trees yeah it was three trees that's what a cop came into the trip just like
female cop came in good clarification thank you yeah a cop ass yeah yeah damn i'm so bad yeah i have a
similar where it's like i got busted my first two weeks of college and then my last month i got
fucked again yeah you you were you were selling drugs you were selling weed yeah you were yeah
you were a drug dealer i didn't get in trouble for that but i never got in trouble yeah never
pulled over never been grounded you never do it
still i'm like a really really good really i've gotten pulled over three you've still never been
300 times even in your adult age i'm due aren't i yeah that's crazy have you i can't imagine
have i got uh no i was i was a rule follower yeah i I loved rules. I've got a few tickets for speed and shit.
No, I obey.
If there's a rule, there's me following it.
No conduct violations on the basketball team?
No, I was self-aware enough to know that my ass would be kicked off the team immediately.
Instantly.
Was it almost not worth it?
Would you have rather been a hot shot D3 where you could fuck around?
Where I could just have fun and college, yeah.
Were you nervous all the time?
My situation, I was not only scared of like if I have a beer and I'm 20, I'm going to get kicked off the team.
I was nervous that like if I'm – even when I was like 22, I was nervous to be at a party with the other basketball players. It gets busted up.
And then they need a fall guy.
Right.
Oh, damn.
So I kind of did nothing in college.
I had a very boring college experience.
What time were workouts?
Were you up at like 5 a.m. every day?
In the summers, yeah.
P.U.
In the summer?
Yeah.
The summers were not fun.
You would do 5 a.m.?
We'd run in a sand pit.
Oh, my God.
And then lift.
And then you'd play open gym in the afternoon.
Can you get away with being a star basketball player
who's kind of out of shape?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, Luka Doncic is...
Right.
Yeah.
Is he finally catching some flack? Yeah. Last night Yeah. If you're, I mean, Luka Doncic is. Right. Yeah. Is he finally catching some flack?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Last night was bad for him.
That's like his first time really catching flack.
What's he catching flack for?
Big time whiny bitch.
Yeah.
And he fouled out?
Yeah, he fouled out.
He had a very dumb play with four minutes left in the game to foul out.
It was just like a, just out of laziness and being a fat ass. And you know,
um,
yeah,
it was just like a very,
very bad,
lazy play.
And then he,
instead of being like my bad,
I fucked that up.
He was like,
that was a bad call.
Is there any real excuse to be a chubbo in the NBA or any,
like you have the best chefs,
steroids,
trainers,
but I feel like if you are a a Flobo who just crushes it,
it's awesome. It propels you.
Also, he's probably, he's not like,
what's he look like shirtless? TJ?
Has Luka ever been
seen shirtless?
That's a great
question. Let's put Sweeney's tits on him. He's in the best shape of his
life this year. I mean, Jokic
is Joey. Luka's in the best shape of his
life this year? As far as
like in the NBA. That's not true.
That's badly
false. I think
this year he's looked like, last year he was very
chubby and like played himself in shape, but he came into
the season in shape this year. But does Luka booze
and party? Oh, that's a good bod!
I mean, people say he's...
That's younger Luka. That's younger Luka?
Well, then you said he was in the best shape now
yeah
does he look better than that now Steve
I haven't seen him shirtless
that's good shape
he's in great shape
I'd kill for that
oh my god
yeah and again these are not
who's taking these
Guy Candy
TJ Follow Guy Candy.
Transitions.
DJ, follow Guy Candy.
Luca Donch, it's being unintentionally sexy as fuck.
Let's scroll through Guy Candy.
Sass made one of these once.
There was a Sass, like, thirst cam once.
It made me laugh so hard.
I don't know who these guys are.
That's Lando Norris. He's an F1 driver. Oh oh shark tooth necklace bringing it back all right lando uh ruling of guy candy
yeah i'm gonna say yeah great page
okay all right cool good account guy candy only 3 000 followers so like titus is like the dj Alright, cool. Good account. Sky Candy. Only 3,000 followers.
So, like, Titus is like the DJ Burns' of the world.
Are they cooked in modern NBA because they're just like big boys?
He's working out for the Pacers right now, I think.
Yeah, they're kind of... They used to have a...
Like Zach Randolph.
Oh, Z-Bo.
Yeah, I think those guys might be extinct now.
Oh, that's a damn shame.
A lot of fat athletes.
I mean, like, I fawn for the days of baseball when there were fat asses all over the field. Prince Fielder.
Can pitchers still be fat?
I guess you could be if you're a pitcher, right?
Very fat pitcher.
Not very, but there's a fat pitcher on the Phillies that had a quote earlier this year about how he was fat or something like that.
Nice.
I was always a John Kruk lady.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can see it.
West Virginia boy.
Yeah.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Yeah, fat baseball players are my favorite fat athletes.
They're the best.
Basketball just sticks out, though.
It's funny.
It is kind of funny.
Like, we have the same job.
Who was that college player that everyone was going crazy for this year?
DJ Burns.
Oh, DJ Burns.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's hashtag sports. Oh, DJ Burns. Okay. That's hashtag sports.
Oh, Jose Alvarado.
I'm fucking fat.
Hell yeah.
Bartolo Colon is the...
Yeah, that's the quintessential.
Yeah.
CeCe Sabathia.
He was a big boy.
Who was the Giants player that went by Panda?
Oh, Pablo Sandoval.
Sandoval, yeah.
Big, big boy.
Yeah.
I guess first baseman can, big boy. Yeah.
I guess first baseman can still be fat.
Yeah.
Who's the...
Yeah, I'm trying to think of who.
Is there a fat dude on the Pirates?
Is it Rowdy?
Rowdy's big boy.
Rowdy's big boy. Yeah, Rowdy's on the Pirates, right?
He gets booed a lot.
Oh, that's a dude?
That's a dude?
Rowdy Tellez?
Yeah.
He had a walk-off a couple weeks ago.
Baseball, why wouldn't you?
All baseball players should be fat.
I feel like you've got to be moving at some positions, right?
Center field can't be fat.
Maybe once in the game for 10 seconds.
Yeah, yeah.
Has there ever been a fat swimmer?
That would be amazing to root for.
Oh, yeah.
A fat diver.
He does cannonballs into his race.
That guy is Zeke Sanchez.
That was my first fella I ever brought in.
Zeke Sanchez was a fat diver.
Yeah.
He's like 17 or something.
Zeke Sanchez.
He's a hefty boy.
I love a real fat person who can do the...
Here we go.
Oh, my God. He's a hefty boy. I love a real fat person who can do the...
Oh, yeah.
What is it?
The ballroom dance where they flap down on their backs and get back up again?
You know what I'm talking about?
Ballroom dance?
Yeah.
I hate that I knew that.
Who said voguing?
Is that Kyle's gay ass?
Kyle.
Voguing?
How did you describe it?
Ballroom dancing?
It's ballroom dance.
It's like a...
It's huge in the gay community.
It's huge in the gay community.
And basically, it's like, can you pull up if you...
The premise is you make yourself a Vogue.
You put the Vogue magazine around you.
Yeah, I need to see it.
But then you can like...
I need to see an example of this.
They have these moves where they like flop down on their backs.
It's like a death drop or something.
I forget what it's called.
Connor Griffin introduced hobby horsing to me.
Oh, yeah.
Those girls can't leave. But his, yeah. Those girls can at least
leave. It's a very
informative day for me between
hobby horsing and voguing.
This is voguing? Yeah.
Wait for it.
But every now and then there's like a
drop. Oh, they're zesty.
I think this is a competitive event.
Oh, it's competitive. This is an Olympic event.
I think there's a winner.
But every now and then you get like a 300 pound man.
Yeah, these two hate each other.
Oh, they're competing.
Oh, yeah.
It's a battle.
This feels like the Tommy Smokes already did it.
Tommy Smokes would be good at this.
Oh, somebody's got to do the drop.
There.
Back there.
He did it.
That's amazing.
Wow.
It is.
Are they on a team?
It might be a team.
So this is from Latex Ball 2019, I think.
Yes, yes.
TJ, is it?
I don't fucking know, man.
But the hobby horsing, this video went super viral of this girl, like, she's, like, throwing up.
And she's like, this is for all the people who say hobby horsing isn't a real viral of this girl like she's like throwing up and she's like this
is for all the people who say hobby horsing isn't a real sport i almost died today and it's her being
super dramatic and then another video posted of her routine she's like galloping with a like
galloping gently with a little are you aware of hobby horse no is it equestrian not no in the
slightest it's there they're even less athletic well i'm sure there is some skill
that goes into yes look at this absolutely oh this is so you're doing the equestrian but you're
doing it yourself that's super impressive oh yeah that's okay that is but they have competitions
that are like real equestrian courses yeah but with the fake horses, and they,
it's a whole,
it's a whole world,
and a lot of very,
I don't want to say dramatic. It prance around on fake horses.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
There's a horse head on a stick,
and they straddle it,
and they walk around.
And they're usually like,
These have to be some of the gummiest smiles
on the planet.
Oh, yeah.
Are they cosplaying at all?
Like,
Oh, that's her. Oh, that. Are they cosplaying at all? Oh, that's her.
Is she crying or...
Yeah.
Hyperventilating?
A little bit of both.
Oh, yeah?
This is me after my dressage routine.
This is me after a day of barstool sports.
Oh, my God.
Me after Kirk Manahan calls me a pussy
That was me
A dozen sets being built
Did you guys see
Uptown Balls
First ever repeat champions
I saw the script
I was wondering
That'll be good for them He needs it for jersey sales Just a true dynasty You saw the script? Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. I was wondering.
Yep, he needs it. That'll be good for them.
He needs it for Jersey sales, just a true dynasty.
I do think it's a smart decision to not reveal that set to the public,
because I think if people saw what we're looking at right now,
it would change everything.
We're not allowed to reveal it?
Yeah, we're not allowed.
Jeff didn't say we weren't allowed.
He said if you could try not to. Oh, that means it's not allowed? Yeah, it're not allowed. Jeff didn't say we weren't allowed. He said if you could try not to.
Oh, that means it's not allowed.
We won't. But please promote
the tickets. Buy the tickets, please.
Buy the tickets, please.
And even if
it's not the final four,
even if we lose,
I'd imagine we will still be doing
something there. Yeah, we'll be there.
Well, there you go right there.
Experts, ZD, and Yak.
Oh, that's...
Three of the four, so...
Yeah, Uptown Balls must be the fourth, huh?
Yeah, I think that's what it is, and that's what he's hiding.
It's a red herring.
Oh, a little inside jokes on there.
Frank and mince chicken.
What's that?
I don't get that.
Chick-fil-A.
Oh, okay.
Prime Dog PI.I.
Good shit. I'll set the Roku home screen.
Actually, really good guess.
Yeah, it kind of is.
Shockingly good guess. I love that the theme of the dozen trivia is this 80ss vaporwave aesthetic, like time cop, but it's just trivia.
It's real hardcore vaporwave urban.
I'm excited and nervous because we're always bad at it.
No, Uptown Balls, second, first round.
Yeah, I mean, I think Tommy and Glennie are like two of the best players.
Yeah.
You guys have a lot of live experience, though.
And I think that we're –
We do.
We have a few live titles.
The live shows are different than –
We have no chips.
Than the ones at home.
Yep.
When you can just blatantly cheat, as I do often.
I feel like –
Yeah, I've cheated before.
Yeah.
I do every match.
Every one I've ever gotten right, I've cheated.
Why?
I've cheated on some.
I've gotten wrong.
I cheated and I said the wrong answer.
Yeah, I've cheated. gotten right i've cheated why on some i've gotten wrong i cheated and i said the wrong answer yeah yeah we i've cheated why would you want to get the question wrong yeah i
thought that was the point of the game they want to see the best of the best trivia players look
look it up also everybody's doing it so you're really just leveling the playing field by cheating
it's nice to see a schlubby guy be good at trivia though it's always inspiring
titus do you ever talk to cody cody the guy who works on yeah my two shows yeah yeah um
not really yeah that's why i asked his his resting heart rate has to be low 200 oh yeah
he's the most nervous man but he guy who's whose employment hinges on
basically me because you ask him like what he does here and it's like my shows no i don't i
actually don't know he told me that brandon doesn't speak to him brandon didn't like him
he just said brandon will not talk to him he is um he stacks last place finishes at
trivia contests i've invited you out to trivia. He keeps getting dead last
and keeps going back to the same trivia
competition. He got 8 out of 8
and he said he missed out of the 11 rounds
like he didn't get anything. I've been with him
and it's the hardest trivia in the world.
It's all academic. It's like you have to be
like an active PhD student to
like get it. They give you like tests.
They give you papers
where you have to like write. It's like it's a standardized test pretty much yeah why is cody he keeps going and getting dead last
by like it's like the second to last person has 120 points and he has like 12
he's done this eight times yeah he's done a lot it's a this company that does it at varying
locations one is jefferson tap he goes there gets dead last and and then he'll go back this week He's done it a lot. It's this company that does it at varying locations. One is Jefferson Tap.
He goes there, gets dead last.
And then he'll go back next week.
Goes back, gets dead last.
You went with him once?
I went with him, yeah.
We got last.
It was a grueling, humbling, miserable three hours of not knowing things.
Why does he keep going back?
Yeah.
He's got a team up with Jacob, who kept trying out for the football team and not making it.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, just two. It's like of like the top intellects in chicago like
competing yeah what kind of people are at these things like it's like not true at all it's like
actually useful yeah like you chicago students yeah isn't the point of trivia to be trivial
yeah sounds like this shit is like actually it's's like physics questions. Yeah, it's more like a test.
Was the vibe at least, it's at a bar.
Was the vibe like no fun, it's straight business?
Are they drinking?
Like does the winner get a bar tab?
Yeah, it's like fun like that.
Yeah.
The people are just too good.
What do they look like?
A bunch of dorks?
I realize that like smart people, you don't really, you can't tell too much.
Yeah.
What's Cody's demeanor like at a thing like that?
He's always flustered.
Flustered, yes.
He's a permanently flustered boy.
If you bring him in right now, he'll be flustered.
He's like 0 for 1,000 on leaving.
He'll walk out and be like, ah, I messed up.
And then he'll call me unk.
And then he'll be like, wow.
He panic unks?
He panic unks?
he panic unks he panic
slangs
yeah
he does
he does
because he tries to make
the leave casual
but then I'm just like
that was weird
and then he'll be like
oh let me try
oh y'all brazy
yeah
he panic slangs
yeah we're talking
a lot of shit on him
let's bring him in
I like him a lot
let's bring him in
lovely fiance
love hanging out with him yeah yeah it's a good time yeah let's see how red we can turn i've bumped into him just
out at the bar and he was knocked his sock he was nervous as fuck but then we just hung out and he
was nervous the whole time but i had a blast yeah he's like he's a great dude yeah he is
his uh first appearance on this show is his drop your Kentucky Derby Day fits tweet from last year.
Oh, nobody answered.
That's an old tweet.
He ran it back this year.
The first time he was ever on the air.
We first caught wind of him.
He wasn't on the Yak.
No, he was just like a brand new, it was like his first month at the time.
We didn't bring him on.
We just roasted him on Twitter.
It was last Kentucky Derby.
He did a tweet.
He was in his very nice outfit.
He was like, drop your Kentucky Derby fit.
Nobody answered.
He ran it back this year.
He probably got a lot this year.
Your dad!
Oh, that was his one from the year before.
It's tough.
Oh, man.
One of the first texts Cody ever sent to me was when he moved to Chicago,
and it was a picture of a bus stop by Wrigley Field,
and the text just said Wrigleyville fucks.
And it was the bus stop.
It was the bus stop.
The worst part of any city.
The most grimy, worst, boring part of any city.
And he goes, Wrigleyville fucks.
And that was his way of saying.
Yeah, go middle.
Go right in the middle.
Just speak that city.
That was his way of saying, like, I love Chicago.
This city's so fucking awesome.
I've been here 24 hours and I can't get enough of how fucking sick this city is.
Look at this.
Check out this bus stop in Wrigleyville.
He's a ride or die.
So what's up?
We were talking about trivia.
Trivia.
Oh, yeah.
I'm dog shit.
Why do you keep going back, man?
I think one time I might just crack the code.
You keep getting to the top of the mountain.
So last time you went, you got what place?
Dead last.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And how many points?
I think 12.
And what was the next second to last?
Like 50.
That's tough, man.
Well, it's so hard. Like, i went with you once yeah you've been
and it's not fun why do you keep going back you said it's three hours there are other bars that
do trivia you could go there's one company in chicago that just dominates the landscape
that just can't be true i've tried to go other places it's the same company same questions do you just keep coming in
dead last dead last every time but i have fun and uh i think we should all go why don't you try go
with typically sorry no as you say try following the company and see if they ask the same like on
a tuesday night do they have the same questions on the to the bar on wednesday it's different
questions per night like you can go to different locations on a Tuesday.
Any bar, they're all the same questions, but same company.
Oh, okay.
Cody going to trivia every week is like me showing up to the Yak every day.
I'm just not stopping.
Listen, listen.
One of these days, crack the code.
Now you have to keep going back until you get top ten.
I've been top five. But you hyped up your trivia prowess Buffalo is very different than the Chicago trivia like
seen yeah it was Buffalo trivia just like shapes no general trivia like these
are academic questions like I have a screenshot like I've sent to you and
you're like yeah it was like the hardest test I've ever seen. Send it to TJ.
It was a geography based and I didn't know all of them.
I'm just trying to get better.
I think you keep going, doing something long enough, you'll get better.
Do you go with your fiance or do you go alone?
Go with my fiance, a couple friends I've met in Chicago.
In the circuit?
No, they're all so bad.
Yeah.
We played together once at...
Nope, that was Rudy.
Thank you.
Hell yeah.
Yeah, you were supposed to go.
You just didn't show up.
That sounds like me.
That's right.
Yeah, that was me.
That's my calling card.
I really implore you guys to try it, though.
I didn't realize this,
that the trivia scene in Chicago is a monopoly.
Yeah.
I mean, we should just start
our own like but you're not phased by failure no no i've i've failed more than enough where it's
like well that means you are done with it i have fun though like it's not like i'm failing and i'm
like damn this sucks i go home and like cry it's like i can't wait to go again next year you're
glutton for punishment yeah but you try new things
like you try like pickleball
yeah
I like pickleball
I started running
you start long distance running
you start trying to become golden gods
yeah
yeah
um
oh yeah
yeah your whole crew's starting to become golden gods
yeah dude
we're all becoming sexy as fuck
yeah
we're all becoming sexy
yeah
so it feels like long distance running
is taking off to a level
that I've never seen
yeah everybody's doing it.
Which is a good sign.
Yeah.
I think so.
That means there's something to it.
Like if people are doing the most miserable thing in the world willingly on a regular basis.
Those David Goggins type Instagram things that just call people pussies if you don't do 100 miles every single day.
It's that.
I think it's a trickle down of that.
A lot of people are joining like run clubs.
Oh, is that what it is?
Yeah.
I was thinking –
My first one on Saturday.
It's the only thing you can do by yourself.
Like you can't go to – you have to have other people to play other sports.
Yeah.
It's pretty affordable too.
Yeah, you need shoes.
It's pretty affordable.
Running is actually very expensive.
Oh, you're wrong.
Is it? the shoes are expensive
gotta get the right sunglasses
you gotta get everything
the right sunglasses?
do you run with shades?
yeah
you buy accessories before you get into the hobby?
I've been into it for a while
my goal was to do the Chicago Marathon
but I found out quickly that you have to have
either qualified which I haven't and then that you have to have either qualified,
which I haven't, and then either you have to spend like $3,000,
which I don't have.
So my goal is to do that, and it's just not going to happen.
Do you work for anybody wealthy?
And then shame us into donating.
Yeah, but I'm a giant pussy, so I would never be like,
hey, sponsor me for the marathon.
So I might just do one on my own.
There's something to it.
Oh, there it is.
Is this it?
Oh, fuck.
The identification round.
Yeah.
Artist round.
Yeah, they give you tests.
They give you exams.
What is this even asking, Paul?
That's not fun.
Which country do you pass through
to get to the other?
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, that's just one example.
That's like the fourth round.
Keeps going and going.
By that time, you're just miserable.
Why would you keep doing this?
And this is one round?
I have a love for trivia.
I just like doing different things, trying to become a better man.
Has it worked?
No.
Yeah, that's not...
So they hand this out to you and you fill it out?
All of them at once?
Yeah, it's like 10 minutes.
That sucks.
That's zero fun. That's the funnest one ever. I know. You're taking a test. I thought Bart's trivia was like, all Yeah, it's like 10 minutes. That sucks. That's zero fun ever.
I know.
I thought Bart's review was like, all right, here's the question.
Like, what, here's the time.
Even if it was like a question like that, you ask the one question,
you sit there for like five minutes.
Yeah.
Everyone talks it out.
Who dropped the chili in the office?
Yeah.
Or what's the bar and family?
That's what it's like one question at a time.
It's not like, please.
You're getting packets.
This is the SAT.
Yeah, you're doing the SAT.
So yeah, when I get trolled.
Do you have a Scantron?
Yeah.
It's the same shit as taking a test.
Like every week they're going to take a test.
I get trolled like, oh, you're so bad at trivia.
Who trolls you?
Everyone.
Who's that?
We just sat here for 10 minutes.
All of you.
We're stacking deadlaps.
You are bad.
What's the guy who rolls the rock up to the top of the hill?
Sisyphus.
Yeah, I'm Sisyphus.
And you would know that if you were good at trivia.
Yeah, you had to ask us.
Yeah.
Well, I said it last week.
I just forgot the name.
You're Sisyphus.
Yeah, you guys should.
Maybe I could get extra packets next week and i'll bring it
and you guys could try it i'm all set okay i don't want to touch that shit i'm just saying
yeah but give us give us an example something you do know um like general trivia just like
like what that would be your answer ask yourself ask yourself a question and then answer it
just so we can see what it looks like for you to be successful.
You have one phone a friend?
Yeah.
I don't know what you mean.
Ask yourself a question.
Why don't you ask me a question?
No, no, no.
We want to ensure that you'll get it.
We want you.
Yeah, we want to see. We want to know what you know.
Who played Seinfeld?
Was Jerry Seinfeld?
Damn.
That's pretty fucking good.
I don't know. Is that your niche? I think my niche would be Seinfeld and Jerry Seinfeld damn that's pretty fucking good I don't know is that your niche
I think my niche
would be Seinfeld
like
the show
probably
yeah
okay
or like rap music
ain't no way
he does
all you want
all you want
yes
alright give us a rap
give us a rap question.
Who are the members of BSF?
BSF?
Who's BSF?
What does that stand for?
Black Soprano Family.
Who are the members of BSF?
It's Benny the Butcher, Conway the Machine.
Oh, this is Buffalo Rap.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So Buffalo Rap would be a neat...
Buffalo Rap and who played Seinfeld?
Yeah.
That would be fun.
The perfect Jeopardy board.
The Black Sopranos family.
Yeah.
It's a good-ass name.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, all right, guys.
Hey.
Thanks.
See ya.
All right.
All right, Cody.
Thanks.
Thanks, Cody.
Are you leaving?
Yeah.
What?
You're good. You're What? You're good.
You're good.
You're good.
What are you working on the rest of the day, Cody?
I'm getting stuff ready for July 4th break.
You're getting stuff ready for break?
Yes, we have stuff.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nice.
Flying ahead.
Yeah.
So Connor and Liam are headed to North Dakota this weekend.
They leave tomorrow.
Yep.
Why aren't they flying?
I don't know.
My gut says probably because Liam doesn't have any sort of identification.
That's a really good guess.
Blumman just doesn't have papers.
Blumman spawned on this plane.
Yeah, they're driving
Well Blumman's going up to Madison
Tonight for like
He's got to eat nine sweet treats at the baseball game
Okay
With Tate
And then Connor's going to pick them up
And they're going to drive to North Dakota for a wedding tomorrow
How long of a drive is that?
I think it's like 12 hours
That's too long
What city in North Dakota? Fargo I believe How long of a drive is that? I think it's like 12 hours. That's too long.
Yeah.
What city in North Dakota?
Fargo, I believe.
I believe it's Fargo.
A woman just got arrested in Fargo.
Might serve 40 years for having bong water.
What does that mean?
They're very anti-weed up there, I believe.
Oh, my God.
Shit.
Well, I better be careful. Well, I better be careful.
He's chiefing.
Yeah, neither one of them have been to a wedding. So I'm excited to see the report back. Did you get Blutman better be careful. Blutman better be careful. He's chiefing. Yeah, neither one of them have been to a wedding,
so I'm excited to see the report back.
Did you get Blutman a purple shirt?
I don't know.
They were talking about it, but he got a haircut.
No way.
How's it look?
Good, yeah.
Can we see him?
He's trimmed out, yeah.
Where's he at?
He's trimmed out.
Is he in the gambling cave?
He's on his way to Madison.
Oh, he's on his way to Madison.
I'm going to text him.
No, pull up mostly today.
Did he get it?
Yeah, he was on mostly.
Yeah, he hates it his way to Madison. I'm going to text him. Pull up mostly today. Did he get it? Yeah, he was on mostly. Yeah, he hates it.
He hates his haircut?
Yeah.
We all hate our haircuts though, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, you have to give it about a couple weeks.
It's the job of everybody else to.
Whoa.
Whoa.
He looks exactly like him.
He looks identical.
Who is he?
And he said he hates it.
Well, you got to ham it up and say, oh my god, you look terrible.
He looks exactly the same.
Yeah.
Looks like Ron Weasley and
Hagrid had a baby.
Tate's doing the 999 challenge.
Which I don't actually know how hard that is.
It seems pretty hard.
But it also seems like a lot of people do it.
So we had all of this.
And then Liam's doing the sweets portion of this.
Such good prices.
Where he's going to eat nine sweet items.
Kate, I love that.
I love a good snack bar.
Yep.
What would I go with here?
He has to do how many of these?
Nine.
Kate's doing nine beers and nine hot dogs.
Liam is doing nine.
I think I do five ice cream sandwiches.
Cotton candy just disappears to the size of a pea.
That really bothers the tongue.
It bothers the mouth.
That's a paintball pop.
Probably paints the tongue.
It's like the jawbreaker lollipop thing.
It's like the jawbreaker lollipop.
Would you rather do nine hot dogs or nine of...
Nine of these.
Nine of that.
Nine of that's easier.
I do want to try the nine.
I think that much sugar would just absolutely...
Yeah.
But nine hot dogs would also absolutely fuck me up.
Yeah.
Nine dogs.
I mean, when we had...
When Mincy was making them, I had four.
Yeah.
I felt horrible.
I felt terrible.
Maybe five. It tanked my day yeah i was
out of commission do you guys partake in any challenges in your everyday life like that
is there do you have that itch yeah i did the uh sugar-free candy hold your shit
um me and rudy did it on a stream so you could go without shitting the longest After eating sugar free
I did 50 McNuggets in 20 minutes
That's really impressive
You had to have been ruined
When?
I was like right out of college
There's a video of it
Do it tomorrow
Am I getting into shape?
That'll set me back like a month
Just don't eat for the rest of the day
How many calories are in 50 McNuggets, TJ?
I don't even want to know.
Probably.
It's disgusting.
It's not going to be visually pleasant.
Why?
You're just eating.
But you got to move.
Oh, no, you don't have to do it in 20.
Do it just in an hour.
All right, maybe I'll fuck around.
You could definitely do that.
We have a calorie. I'm curious. Yeah, fuck around. You could definitely do that. We have a calorie.
I'm curious.
Yeah, we better.
You've got to practice for the dozen.
28,000.
2,800.
2,400.
Oh, it's not that bad.
No, that's not bad.
480 intent.
That's not bad.
If you did the grilled nuggets to Chick-fil-A, it'd be like nothing.
Yeah.
Those are good.
But yeah, we were bored on 4th of July.
We had nothing to do.
My friends were like, will you eat 50 nuggets?
And I was like, sure.
Go to a party.
Yeah.
We were back in our hometown, like not much going on.
So I just...
Philly?
Yeah, it's one of the top things.
TripAdvisor says it's number four thing to do.
Yeah.
In town is eat 50 nuggets.
And like Philly doesn't really do 4th of July.
No.
Yeah.
So me being a showman I was like I'll do it
and I just put back 50
in 20 minutes?
in 20 minutes
puke?
no but the rest of the day
like I ate it and then I just had to lay
on a beach chair like on like one of those
like pool chairs for like an hour
couldn't move went back to my apartment
couldn't shit it wouldn't come out so I napped for like an hour couldn't move went back to my apartment couldn't shit it wouldn't come out
so i napped for like two hours and i woke up my room was just full of fart oh yeah yeah it was
like i it was a gas chamber yeah and then i basically threw up and shat all night yeah yeah
yeah so it's a day ruiner for sure i don't like like giant meal challenges i don't it was gross
so like if you saw if you saw like an Instagram you're just scrolling through and then you see someone's like
this is the the milk gallon
challenge say and then you
see someone try it but it's
new to you.
You've never seen this
challenge before.
Is your instinct like I
should try that too.
Are you like I'm a I'm a
big part of the guy.
No part of me wonders if
how I would do a pot.
Like there's like the
Sprite and banana one.
I'm like I could definitely
do that without puking
remember the egg one
I think maybe we did it
on the yak
where you can squeeze
an egg as hard as you can
and if you hold it
a certain way
no matter how hard
you squeeze it won't break
that's a physical challenge
yeah
oh yeah I guess it's a
but I remember
everybody was
everybody was doing that one
I do all the physical
I do the ones where like
yeah if I see it on
like an Instagram
and it's like
can you stand up without it's like, can you
stand up without, it's like usually like.
Stand up without your arms or your hands.
Yeah.
Accounts that somehow get fed into my algorithm.
It's like you can sitting on the ground and stand up without using your hands.
That's the big one to show like wellness.
If you can do that, you're good.
There's one that women can do that men can't.
Is it the chair against the wall?
It's the chair against the wall.
It's like the pole where you step over.
What's the one where you're like leaning forward
and then you pull
your hands back
and you like stay still
but like men
fall on their face.
Well another one's
what you're saying
like stepping over
your hands
like a whatever.
I think it's a broom.
Yeah.
Let's try one.
Kyle just start
with the basic
wellness one.
On the ground
stand up without
using your arms
or hands.
On.
Oh.
Sit on the ground. stand up without using your arms or hands. Sit on the ground.
Stand up.
Oh, wow.
Whoa.
That was cool.
Show off.
Okay.
Like a two out of ten difficulty.
We could all do it.
Yeah.
I don't know if I could.
You got those string being legs dude fuck you
Yes, oh there's no way oh no Kyle did the leg crawl how are you not doing? Oh?
Okay, all right stand up really I can't stand up. Really? I can't stand up. Oh, I gotta try this. Wait, are you allowed to like roll?
I don't know.
Roll? Alright, go. Yeah, roll your ass off.
This is how it happens.
The other big one is the no hands, no knees.
No?
There's no way out.
Yeah!
I can't do it.
Moog did it.
I can't do it.
You can do it.
I can't do it.
Okay, okay, be careful. Be careful, Kate. I broke his mic, do it. I can't do it. Okay, be careful.
Be careful, Kate.
I need to.
Oh.
Oh, my.
Nick, you can't give it a.
Come on, try. I can't do it.
You have little kids.
You just adapt.
It's about the leg.
Yeah.
It's about the leg cross?
I don't know.
You have to cross the legs.
Oh.
Wait, Nick, you can't do that?
I can't do it.
I can't do it. I can't do it.
The big one I see is the no hands, no knees challenge.
What's that?
Where you have to stand up without using your knees
or your hands on the floor.
From what position?
Or you can't use your elbow.
You can't use any part of your...
I can't use my elbow.
You can only use your ass.
You have to stand up by just squeezing your ass.
Hey, give me some challenge.
TJ, pull up. I saw
this one the other day. I think it's called the shrimp
challenge. What's the shrimp challenge?
It's not an eating shrimp. It's
a body thing. It looks so
simple and then I tried it in my living room
about face planted. I can definitely
not do it. The shrimp?
I think I'd pass that one.
Let me see if I can find it.
Yeah.
That's that.
That's all it is.
Holding your ankle?
Yeah.
That looks kind of hard.
You're going to tear an AC out.
You stand up.
Oh, shit.
And these are professional athletes?
Yeah. Okay. Let then you stand up. Oh, shit. And these are professional athletes? Yeah.
Okay.
Let's go, Kyle.
Hold on to that leg.
Yeah, that up.
Stand up.
Stand up.
Oh, my God.
God damn it.
Holy shit.
He can do it all.
I definitely can't do that.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, that's what happened to me.
That's what happened to me.
So the one is, is there a stick in here?
Women apparently can step over the stick.
This is the second time you've asked for a stick in here.
I need a stick.
Hold on.
It is kind of interesting that we have every single toy on planet Earth,
but we don't have the original toy.
The OG toy.
A stick.
Just a singular stick is all we need.
Is that the closest thing we have to a stick?
A lei?
Use the wiffle ball bat.
Oh, yeah, we do have a wiffle ball bat.
Oh, we have a wiffle ball bat, Kate.
I'm sure we have a thousand brooms.
That's it?
Yeah, guys can't do that.
Guys can't do that.
Here we go.
Maybe I got it wrong.
It's big on TikTok.
Yeah.
You know what I think?
Here's what people on tiktok do they do
the videos and they're like only one in six thousand people can do this and obviously it's
a lot more than that and then a bunch of people comment and then they get a lot of engagement
well this is not a stick you guys are oh my god whoa okay this is a girl
yeah we should just put out an easy yak challenge on TikTok today.
Zaha has a stick.
Someone try it with the stick.
A golf club.
Thank you, Zaha.
So I'm not flexible.
Yeah, so what is she doing that's different?
Step over it.
And up.
Thank you, Zaha.
Why would that be hard then?
You guys made it look so easy. Apparently men can't step over a stick. Okay. Thank you, Zaha. Why would that be hard, then?
Apparently, men can't step over a stick.
Okay.
All right, do it, Mook.
Yeah, and just step over it.
Yeah?
Yeah, I think we just fell for it.
Yeah, we fell for it.
That's how they get a bunch of comments, like, I just did it.
Okay, they got me.
They got me.
All right. Actually, I don't have one i know i'm trying to remember the sitting one oh no god just go lower
just go lower oh wow wow that actually A little cumbersome, but it seemed difficult.
I did do one around the office, the chair one.
Guys could not do it, and all the women in the office could.
Now which one's that?
I don't remember.
It's the chair against the wall, I think.
I don't know.
I sent TJ a video of me eating the nuggets,
if you want to take a glimpse at young Mook.
And Mook, you went viral again today with, or yesterday.
Lookalikes, yeah.
I'm a Call of Duty meme now.
That's cool.
I'm pumped about it, but the streets are calling me Optic Plump.
That's, which is, or Scrumptious.
Oh, Scump. That's from Optic Embo's. Yeah, Embo's, I is, or scrumptious. Oh, scump.
That's from Optic Embos.
Yeah, Embos, I think, I believe.
That is you or that isn't you?
That is me.
Yeah, okay.
That's certainly him.
I thought you were saying it's a lookalike.
That's me at 8 a.m. in Miami.
And that's who they're saying you are?
That's, I'll take it.
No, but all the replies are like, what did Scump age? 30 years.
And is he older than you?
Yes.
Scump, if you chose Halo.
That's scrumptious.
They're calling you fat?
Oh, yeah.
That's plump.
That's plump.
Macaulay Culkin down there.
Oh, no.
OMG.
What is that picture from?
There are hundreds of replies. What's that picture from? There are hundreds of replies.
What's that picture from?
After 11.
That's Miami.
After 11 in Miami, we were out from like.
So that is a rough picture of you.
Oh, yeah.
It'd be a lot worse if this is like a professional headshot.
Everyone's like, damn.
That's me coming to terms that I spent like three grand in Miami and I'm still horny.
Just like, what am I doing with my life
That's a damn shame
Yeah
Would you go back
Once I acquire some money
It took all of the money I've ever made in my life
To go to Miami
That's a good t-shirt with words on it
$3,000 in Miami and all I got was even hornier
That is good It's true good t-shirt with words on it yeah three thousand dollars in miami and all i got was even hornier
that is good it's true very true twitter now won't publicize likes so is this going to change
your uh twitter habits yeah no i'm kind of used to pulling up like uh who of my like people that
i follow have liked a certain tweet sometimes.
Really?
So I was trying to click yesterday and I was like, what's going on?
So –
But you're referring – Che is referring to being horny online.
Seeing an image you like, whether it be cock or tits, and having to like it is – just enjoy it without hitting the button.
Yeah.
That's like liking an Instagram post. Pure mental weakness. I don't quite the button. Yeah. That's like an Instagram.
Pure mental.
I don't quite get it.
Yeah.
I'm a huge later.
I like everyone.
Later.
People are probably saving.
But that's what.
But like,
what about Instagram?
Like you see an Instagram model.
She already has 2.5 million likes on it.
Yeah.
What is your double tap doing?
Liking Karina cops pictures don't help.
She's going to be fine. Yeah. But doesn't it just publicly outing yourself as horny. on it yeah what is your double tap doing liking corinna cop's pictures don't help she's gonna be
fine yeah but doesn't it you're just publicly outing yourself as horny but if you like seeing
her and you like it it doesn't that encourage her it's like pavlog's dog to keep posting more of
that and so you get to keep seeing more aren't you supporting so we'd be like the 1 millionth
201st person to like the picture i think it might be like a release to them it's a
team i have to get this yeah i feel like it's a group yeah but like when i see like on my explore
page if there's like a good looking girl and then i see liked by barstool rigs i'm just like
why yeah everybody can see that so do you think there's a part of them that likes it thinking that the women will see that they
liked it i don't know that the women are like you know what i'm gonna do today i'm gonna fuck one of
the guys that like my picture i'm gonna fuck the 1,200,000,000th person that likes this yeah that
would be a good post for a good way to get likes. Yes. Yes. You should do it. Oh, wow. Actually, that's brilliant. Hold on. I'll be right back.
Yeah.
Post a picture.
Yeah.
I'll fuck the 70th like.
70th like.
Mook, I will fuck the first.
Like.
Yeah.
The first person who watches
this reel by accident
is going to get it.
I had one on Facebook. My friend from high school messaged messaged me she's like do you know that everyone can see oh i saw that on your
facebook like what you're doing on facebook and i was like what do you mean and i'm very active in
the chicago gardeners club group where i'm like i planted my hostas this morning blah blah blah and
i for some reason that felt more embarrassing to to me than a tit pic slipping out.
I don't know.
You have dust for bones, and this is the oldest thing you've ever done.
I know.
By far.
You post actively in a garden message group.
Yeah.
Hey, guys, update.
I was like, I changed out the soil, and I blah, blah, blah.
I didn't know that everyone of all my Facebook friends could see
what was your latest update oh this yeah and then I gave them a big update and then blah blah blah
and then like all 32 comments I know I loved update I'd only got two likes and one of them
was from someone I went to high school with The update
For some reason that killed me
That like mortified me
It's like oddly very very personal
Yeah I don't know why I didn't think people could see that
I didn't realize for the first like five years
I had Venmo that
That's public too
That's tough
I knew
Did you guys fuck around on Venmo?
Oh, yeah.
Like four drugs.
Like we would just put the most ridiculous shit.
But I used to go through Venmo's timeline and just check what's going on.
See what people are doing.
Who's paying who for what.
What a horrendous idea to make all that shit public.
It's a device to just
pay people. Why do you need a fucking social media
aspect to it? You can also tell
if a couple is doing well.
They're paying for utilities.
Like Wi-Fi.
What do we got?
High Noon.
Oh yeah. Introducing High Noon. Oh, yeah.
Introducing High Noon's all-new vodka iced tea.
It's time to finally ditch those sugary malt-based teas
and try High Noon vodka iced tea made with real vodka and real iced tea.
It's non-carbonated with no added sugar and 90 calories.
High Noon vodka iced tea is great for any occasion under the sun
and comes in four delicious flavors.
You've got to try original peach, lemon, and raspberry.
Lemon is my personal favorite right now, but they're all great.
Visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you.
High Noon Vodka Ice Tea.
So good.
It is so good.
Such a great summer drink.
It's the perfect sweetness.
It's not too sweet
It's just right
Excited to have a few soon
Oh yeah
Big night for Dave and the boys
Finally getting to meet Tom Brady
Oh no
I know
Oh no
What?
I assume they talked about it on the unnamed show
They had to have, right?
What?
Oh
When it cut to Dave, he wasn't there?
Yeah, like Dave Oh, Dave leaving?. He was watching the Celtics, though.
He went to the Celtics. Yeah.
Hank giving a standing ovation for
himself. Great move.
Fights telling Tom Brady to shut up
in the first words he ever
said to him.
Yeah.
Is that the first time Fights and
Tom Brady have spoke? Wow.
I think he spoke to Kraft a few times. Cool for all those guys. Yeah. Yeah. Is that the first time fights and Tom Brady have spoke? Mm-hmm. Wow. Yeah.
I think he spoke to Kraft a few times.
Cool for all those guys.
Yeah.
I'm confused why it was last night.
Like, it feels like an unnecessary...
Yeah.
It feels like an unnecessary conflict for Boston sports
to have that going on at the same time.
Yeah.
And I guess you could say, well, they didn't know the finals were going to...
that Boston was going to be in the finals,
that they would be playing on that night.
You kind of have a general idea.
I don't think at the start of the season the idea of the Boston Celtics
playing in mid-June was that crazy of a concept.
So, yeah, I don't know.
That was weird to me.
Like they could have just done it in two weeks.
Right.
And then there wouldn't have been a conflict at all.
So I was a little confused as to why they did that.
Yeah, they rushed it.
Will got reamed out today, right?
About the Beer Olympics?
Yeah, he did.
They canceled it?
No, no.
They moved it to Nashville.
Uninvited.
Pardon my take.
I think.
I don't know.
I don't even know what the latest update is.
I can't.
I don't know either.
I can't keep up.
I feel bad for videos like the last video i saw of will was like he was dave made a shirt that said support
the boys or something and then it was like an olympic shirt right and then but will was making
a video like basically saying fuck you dave but the beer olympics go i don't know and i'm like
what where are we in the timeline is it on are? Are you guys with each other, against each other?
I have no idea.
I unfortunately cannot do it, though.
I am out of the beer officially.
Wow.
I was not invited, but I have to.
You'll do it?
I can do it, yeah.
We'll text you.
Yeah, I'm open.
It's this week.
This week?
Is it this week?
No.
It's dozens this week. 25th. next week about a dozen two weeks from now that's right every time i go to this bathroom yes there's a
church mouse in the handicap stall like somebody's pure audiophobe someone who won't make a sound
terrified shitters in that bathroom.
Yes, that's where they go.
Every time I go, they go there,
and if someone comes in, they won't make a sound
until that person leaves, and I've been testing it.
Have you been going in there and making sounds?
Going in there to go in the stall to piss,
sitting down and looking at my phone.
Wait, wait, wait, what?
Yeah, yeah.
How long are your pisses to sit down and look at your phone?
I want to sit down and chill.
All I have is piss to give.
And it won't make a sound, let alone a fart.
Will they flush?
No, they won't until I leave.
I like to make a sound to show that I'm in there.
What do you think they would do if you're like, hey, man, it's okay.
I don't know who
it is because it's different shoes.
There's multiple people doing this. They're going there
to shit in secret. So maybe do you think, are you
the outlier here?
Are you too brave of a shitter?
Yeah, maybe it's just a common courtesy thing.
I've been in that situation where I don't want to
make a poop sound.
Right. But be realistic
with your life. You've got to get it done just
do your business but whenever i stumble upon one in the women's bathroom i get out as quickly as i
can i'm like oh let me give them their whenever i see somebody shitting i just walk out of the sink
wash my hands and then get out yeah and i'm like i'll circle back around another time like i don't
want to embarrass myself in front of the person shitting yeah yeah kate who's the loudest girl shitter at
barstool jesus christ it's probably me it's gotta be yeah big time you know who's a loud shitter is
rudy he doesn't care and he goes like seven to eight times a day rudy just farts he farts
and he also wears like very unique pants and shoes to where you see who's shitting like you know it's
him shitting you think that's a hockey thing from him being in hockey yeah hockey guys are disgusting
yeah hockey guys are gross they're they're very gross and then they pass it off as superstition
yeah that's it yeah i'm superstitious why i don't clean my grundle
i walked into one of our bathrooms last week and someone was in there i don't know who
it was and i can't i can't remember what the shit pants combination was no but this person had their
pants on the floor they're still around their ankles but they were like very obviously on the
floor is that that's not something that's done what do you mean on the pants on the floor. That's not something that's done. What do you mean on the floor?
Pants on the floor?
Like pants off?
Their pants were around their ankles, but completely on the floor.
You're just throwing them in a dirty hamper.
So their feet weren't in the legs?
Their feet were in them.
But generally, you kind of have some tension there with the legs, no?
Wait, what?
They were shorts.
They were shorts.
Titus?
They were shorts? That is weird, I think.
Yeah, we got nothing on that.
Are you sure they just weren't?
Yeah.
I was confused. I got out of there as quickly as I could.
Yeah, you gotta just run in that case.
Shay, you put on the sheet
that Dave went nuclear on Will.
He did.
Yeah.
Why did we see it?
Sure, so on the Unnamed show they went kind of
back and forth about the beer games being
cancelled. Will was
cancelled in Vegas and
the big issue was
and the reason it got moved to Nashville
is Dave pulled the resources, so like
production teams, etc.
So I guess there were 40 people that were supposed to
go to Vegas to tape uh sound
edit all the shit um and those resources got pulled because dave was saying that he didn't
want people not only going there and you know spending a ton on travel budget but also because
they would be spending two months editing this much like a surviving barstool and he didn't think
that was a good use of company resources.
So Will kind of combated that Dave didn't tell him.
Dave read a text message that he sent to Will
that was very clearly telling him, and Will was upset he didn't get a phone call.
And then Will was still trying to fight back,
and then Dave just went off on him.
If only there was a video.
Yeah.
You're saying we came to you about doing the Beer Olympics?
Resources got moved to the Beer Olympics,
not because I sat there and requested everybody to move everything around the beer games.
We painted the vision.
I believe that.
What are you shaking your head with?
You came to our production to rob and said,
we want you to produce and cover the beer games.
You said that.
Right, but not in the sense of everything's moving around.
It's not like we knew that.
How the fuck are we going to do it?
We don't have 9,000 things.
We can't throw multiple big events at the same time, you moron.
You came and said, we can't throw multiple big events at the same time you moron you came and said we can't
move our event we want you to put all your production behind it which we did for you
and then all the people that you fucking painted the picture for no it isn't what's wrong what
parts fall to that saying that hey we want to do this massive event and then be like this is the exact
team we want we said we want an a-level production team if rob can do it that would be sick because
of surviving the way that rolled out we wanted a series but again just like last year we hired
contractors like no no you asked us to do it and we painted a picture of what it was going to be
that it wasn't everyone dropped and we had our a team ready to go and
here's why i pulled it because i don't need our a team production moron spending a month two months
like it takes editing surviving barstool to edit dana beers chugging a fucking beer and you want
to cancel it and i was going to waste our company's resources for two fucking months to
watch you and Dana beers,
drink a beer.
I told you to move it.
I told you to cancel it.
You want it.
So I said,
resources out.
So you do it yourself.
And then you can put your own guy and you can get Dana beers in 16
different camera angles.
That's why we pulled it because I don't want our team spending a month
post-production on a
barstool picnic.
Moron. Hey, hey.
I fucking agree with you.
Hey, everyone. If you're nodding like he's making
sense, why are you nodding now?
Because that's how you run a fucking
company. Is David a hotel room?
God damn. He might be.
Wait, did you see what Will said back?
Because I saw that on Twitter this morning.
No.
They called him like a pizza boy or something.
As Dave starts yelling there, the big Will smile comes out.
That's my favorite thing.
You're not a leader.
You're a pizza boy with a loud mouth and a lot of money.
And I'd slap the shit out of you if I didn't get charged for elderly abuse I'll die in a mist of cowardice before I experience one percent of that confrontation
yep yeah but it seems fun and I couldn't handle it no I think it builds you up as a man
yeah get in the mix yeah express your true I mean Will obviously handle it. No. I think it builds you up as a man.
Yeah?
Get in the mix, yeah.
Express your true... I mean, Will obviously loves it.
That's why when Dave starts yelling, he smiles.
This happens all the time.
Whenever Will fucks up, it's funny to him.
Yeah, because he loves that.
He loves that.
Yeah.
If that happened to me, you would never see me again.
Gone without a trace.
Apparently there was a word to describe me.
Oh, well.
I think I'd evaporate.
Yeah.
I would just compact, disappear.
What's like the least pussy thing you've ever done?
Me?
Yeah.
With another man involved.
What?
With an opponent of a man.
I once saw a shoplifter, and I said, hey.
As he was running away.
Yeah, you just acknowledge it.
I was like, hey, hey!
I thought that was pretty tough.
Other people weren't doing much of anything. Yeah.
Somebody probably in a car i've
stared in a car yeah um i'm trying to
little traffic situation yeah yeah but nothing off in the
and that but like when i drive away i make sure they're not following me yeah yeah you do the
you do the like on the on the highway they're in the slow lane
or they're in the fast lane going slow
and then when they finally get over as you're passing them
you just kind of like turn and stare at them
try to shame them
yeah that's probably mine
what's yours?
someone yesterday said are you using that weight
and I said yeah
couple more sets
that's pretty nice
I would have been like nah I'm leaving
Kate went to
fucking war
we lost
damn
I don't know
I don't think I've ever done
anything not pussy
yeah you have
you guys have done stand-up comedy.
That's pussy.
That is pussy.
That's being a showman. Look at me.
Being a clown.
Yeah, that's...
Laugh at me.
Look at me and laugh.
Look at your knees. You're a man.
It would be softball.
Softball was war on Tuesday.
Didn't you guys win like 21-4? 31-23. Oh, it was war. It would be softball. Softball was war on Tuesday. Didn't you guys win like 21 to 4?
31-23.
Oh, it was war.
It was a fucking war.
I could barely walk today.
You could kind of come at people in the form of a joke to get a joke off.
Yeah, I guess so, but that's pussying.
That's pussyfooting around the actual anger.
It's pussy on the other party to be like, oh, he was just joking.
I don't have to come back
i don't think so i think me being actually mad and saying what i mean without the guise of humor
is way more manly than any any shed of doubt yeah you'll get it you'll be admirably blunt
uh yeah yeah yeah i can do that every so often
i'll call it like I see it.
Yeah.
Is that how you say it?
Yeah, call it like you see it.
Like you're not an asshole?
Yeah.
I'm not an asshole.
I'm just calling it like I see it.
Yeah.
A real straight shooter.
I'm sorry.
I'm that lovable dickhead.
No, you're a dickhead.
Yeah.
I don't know. Brandon thrives in in conflict he's good at it too good at uh
that's my pat is really good at like and it kills me i can't like in public in public on phone calls
but like oh yeah oh i'll do it on phone calls i'll do it to like probably just customer service. Oh yeah.
I get sassy.
Yeah.
You could serve me a plate full of hair and I'd be like,
no,
thank you.
And like,
Oh yeah.
I like,
he's the opposite of me and I,
I like melts.
Yeah.
I can't,
I get sassy in the Uber eats a support chat.
Yeah.
I'm like,
this was supposed to take 20 minutes it's been an hour
and a half yeah where i'm a long time customer where's my food actually it's like some dude in
fucking india you don't want to lose me as a guy i promise you look at my order history okay i'm
keeping you guys in business i check their map see how they're moving and see like i'll like oh
yeah i'll run to try to find them on the intersection and I always
think like oh they're stopped
they didn't they're not moving
oh I'll be like is everything okay yeah
I will send that message I was proud of
myself this past week I went to the butcher
to get chicken
and they do this pre-marinated chicken at the grocery
store and I wanted the
garlic and basil but they
gave me rosemary lemon and rosemary like mar basil but they gave me lemon and
rosemary like marinated
and they handed me the wrong one and I said this is the wrong one
whoa
but
I was like I probably
misspoke is what I said so
all that goodwill
that was my fault
yeah but I'll get like
the wrong meal served to me at dinner,
and I'll be like, oh, no, I wanted this.
This will do, actually.
I actually wanted this more.
This looks way better.
Yeah, it's bad.
What are you guys doing?
What's your equivalent of Mook's softball and Cody's trivia?
Do you have anything?
Do you have anything that keeps you going?
No.
Just solo ventures in VR.
Yeah.
I'm like, well, dude, our job is to socialize.
Yeah.
Done.
Checked out.
Done.
Yeah, I go home and I'll...
You play Pokemon.
I'll play.
Yeah, I read.
I read books.
What are you most likely to
if you're held at gunpoint?
It's a very bizarre scenario
where a man is holding you at gunpoint and saying
join a social club.
I don't understand this
premise, sir. And he's like, shut the fuck up
and join us. I'd probably do a
softball league.
Gardening club.
Got my first bumblebees this week. But that's purely social media or do you meet with them in person? We'll probably do a softball league. Yeah. Gardening club. Gardening club.
Got my first bumblebees this week.
But that's purely social media, or do you meet with them in person?
I would if they had.
Every now and then they have volunteer opportunities. Like a gardener who's down on their luck, and they're like,
let's all meet on a Saturday and help them with their garden.
I think I would show up to one of those.
Bird watching?
Yes, that too.
Big time.
Kate, you should garden in the backyard.
Is there a yard here? Yeah. Oh, I've never looked out. Oh, yeah. Oh, too. Big time. Kate, you should garden in the backyard. Is there a yard here?
Yeah.
Oh, I've never looked out.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Big.
It's right behind that white wall.
Oh, I've never gardened before, and it's been thrilling to see.
It's probably really satisfying to have your seed become a plant.
I'm doing, you all know this, Zone 5 native full sun perennials.
So your cone flowers, your red yarrow, stuff like that.
You're going for flowers or food?
Flowers.
Oh, okay.
For the bees.
Reaping or sowing?
No, just a lot of stuff for the butterflies and bees.
Bugs for my kid.
I have an earwig problem right now, which is a little embarrassing to talk about.
How do you get earwigs?
They come out at night is the thing.
And they eat your leaves off your cone flowers.
That's a goddamn shame.
Yeah.
Why are they called earwigs?
Apparently they go in people's ears at night.
Nice.
I don't know.
That's one of the last things I'd want.
Yeah.
So I'm going to take care of that.
That's exciting.
There's Chicago girls who walk.
That's a big club I want to get into.
What's the premise of that one?
They walk.
Where?
They pick a different route every other weekend or on weeknights,
and you just meet up and hundreds of them.
I want in.
Dudes are allowed.
Dudes are allowed.
Dudes are allowed in Chicago Girls Who Walk?
Yeah, you can.
I bet you they're the best at it.
We should put that on the wheel.
Somebody has to go to a Chicago Girls Who Walk
Is it an expensive hobby?
No you just show up there's happy hours after
So that could be expensive
Shoes, sunglasses
Sunglasses
Outside
Air
When is the sleepover?
We gotta plan it so it can't be next
Yeah you can't plan it Well I'm gonna have to get my
apartment it's a little ragtag right now
how did Hank take the news
I don't know he commented on
the Instagram and said wait what I saw that
I was wondering if but we don't have
should I call him we have confirmation that he's
actually willing to do this
he went from hanging out with Tom Brady
he found out while he was with Tom Brady.
He has to stay at your apartment.
What a world. If Hank is found dead this week.
Yeah, that's why.
By his own hand. By the way, they did the Tom Brady
thing on 6-12.
Oh!
Six rings, 12 was his number.
That's even worse.
That's too much
symbolism.
Yeah. There can's too much symbolism. Yeah.
There can be too much symbolism.
But yeah, we should actually follow through on that sleepover.
Not my problem.
I know.
Is that a TJ problem?
TJ will be there.
Let Malasek plan it.
Malasek is like sweating it.
Why?
He's like, oh, of course, I got to, you know, it's always bad for me.
All he does is bitch and moan.
All he does is bitch and moan.
I'm worried.
I owe him like $3,000 if UVA wins.
That bet was horrible for you.
Horrible bet.
You did it months ago.
No, actually, it wasn't.
What was the bet?
If UVA wins the World Series?
I'd give him $3,000.
And if they don't, what would he get?
He pays me like $100.
Oh.
But I'm so confident they won't win.
I got the Florida Gators plus $1,200.
DraftKings.
Sportsman.
Anybody going to Omaha?
Anyone here?
I'm hearing rumblings of Quiggs and Mincy doing a hot tub stream in Omaha.
Yeah?
Nice.
Mincy keeps talking to Quigs about doing a hot tub stream.
Wait, Mincy actually is talking about a hot tub stream?
Yep.
Because he's betting on NC State.
So he wants to do a hot tub stream with Quigs.
He wants to relax and watch baseball.
Yeah, he's got a hot tub at his building or something.
Yeah.
That'll work. Did you see the latest Quigs Mean He wants to relax and watch baseball. Yeah, he's got a hot tub at his building or something. Yeah. That'll work.
Did you see the latest Quigs Mean Girls clip post?
Yes. A new one?
Oh, Titus, I'm excited for you to watch this.
Wake up. There's a new clip.
Can't wait. Love these gals.
Love their content.
He was right. I wasn't expecting the answer that was given.
What is one moment
in history that you wish you could go back and watch?
Is she thinking?
Wait, no.
Did you pause it?
Pause it.
It lagged.
Oh, no.
You wish you could go back and watch.
Pause it.
You wouldn't live it.
You'd just be able to.
My big fear was going to holocaust watch yeah that
was i was like um i i would be like the creation of the the earth yeah yeah what would you guys um
dinosaurs fucking around dinosaurs yeah cool i would like to see like the first people people
very cool or like like vikings on
out at sea going somewhere or something like that maybe the gardens of babylon i don't know yeah
okay yeah okay to observe it and it could be it doesn't have to be like a presidential election
historic moment moment it could be like a concert i want to watch princess diana's car wreck fast answer what any moment i would not want like see it i don't know
yeah they had that loaded like ready oddly i'm still thinking about what my answer would be
yeah i probably jfk's head getting blown off.
Yeah, it would have to be JFK's head getting blown off.
Fucking 9-11.
Yeah.
Something like that, I would say.
I want to watch the bomb drop over Hiroshima.
Yeah.
I would like to see that.
I may.
I mean, what do you want to do to stop it?
I'm hammered by you know nuclear bombs
that's crazy
and watch
Che what's your answer
yeah that's a good question to Che
mine would probably just be like a sporting
I don't care about history at all
yours would be a sporting event that is
Larry Johnson 4 point play yours would be a sporting event that is Larry Johnson 4-point play.
You just watched.
Yeah.
Yours would be like the 2016 Game 7 of the NBA Finals.
That would be awesome.
If only I could go back and watch.
This would be there in person, right?
You could watch anything with utmost safety.
Live.
Yeah, so I'm there.
Yeah.
Larry Johnson, four-point play.
Larry Johnson, the running back.
New York Knicks, power forward.
Bad call.
Can we just watch that right now?
You can.
You can watch that.
It could, but it'd be sick to be in the building.
Yeah, be honest.
Like, something that, you know, something that...
That is honest.
Something that there's no footage. I don't follow history.
Something that there is no footage.
Give us a historical event.
Julius Caesar getting stabbed?
I don't want to see that.
Ooh.
Oh, that's a good one.
Yeah.
Why would I want to see that?
Guy getting stabbed?
Like, what was the...
What was, like, you know...
What was the vibe?
Yeah, I was going to say...
Bad.
Or good.
Like, I don't know. But did it really go the way they wrote about it, you know? What was the vibe? Bad. Or good.
I don't know.
But did it really go the way they wrote about it?
Did all 40 of them really pile on him?
Yeah, I'd be kind of curious.
They were playing Smear the Caesar.
That's what it was.
I'd like to watch Napoleon's army roll over someone.
Yeah.
Yeah, old war would be cool. I'd fuck helen of troy she wouldn't
be into you i'd have to try you'd have to try i have to try how would you go about it what how
would you mark titus fuck if i could go back how would you rise up helen of troy shit dude
uh i'd probably spin a basketball on my finger as I approached. That's aura, bro. Yeah. That's aura.
I'd turn my hat backwards, obviously.
Yeah.
Hit her with a...
Oh, that'd be cool.
That's cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
What would you wear?
I'd wear a hat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Jeans.
Air Maxes.
Yeah.
We're talking Helen of Troy
Helen of Troy
would probably like
you have to be in like
some form of like gown
can we see her
can we put her up
yeah you have to be in a gown
pull up her
she started
she started wars
with her beauty
oh okay
she's like an Aphrodite
Faisal launched
a thousand ships
that's right yeah
let's get a visual on her
ooh
okay
yeah yeah that's really her oh oh no oh That's right. Let's get a visual on her. Okay.
Yeah, that's really her.
Oh, no.
That's optic scump.
Scrumptious.
I feel like it would be easy to bang anyone. It would be so easy.
Because you just convince them you're like a god from the future.
Yeah, I'll show them one YouTube video.
I'm sure I'm probably a giant for back then.
Definitely.
My height would be...
I'd be Goliath.
Do you think I could...
Would you be killed by David?
Yeah.
How tall was David?
I think Goliath was like nine feet.
How tall was David?
I feel like having good teeth would put you so far ahead.
Yeah, not reeking.
Or they might think that's gross.
Yeah, I don't know.
They wouldn't be able to conceptualize it as physical attraction.
Right.
I don't know.
But what about manicure pubic hair?
When you're going to fuck Helen, do you think she's turned off by that?
I read she had a landing strip.
Oh.
She'd be down.
Goliath of six cubits and a span.
So pretty big.
Six cubits and a span.
So pretty fucking big.
Six cubits.
At least nine feet, nine inches.
Nine feet, nine inches.
Six cubits and a span.
Ten feet, three inches. And our measure's height was eight feet 9 inches. 9 feet 9 inches. 6 cubits and a 6. 10 feet 3 inches.
And our measure's height was 8 feet 5.
Yeah, but was he 8 feet 5 and 1 third inches?
Or was he like a Clemmer?
A cubit is 16.
According to Stephen Che, he was 8 feet and a tick.
One tick.
What YouTube video would you show someone from that Helen of Troy time period?
Shack over the house.
Yeah, Shack levitating over the house.
Yeah, good call.
Yeah, that's a better...
What YouTube video would you go back in time
and show a historical figure?
Yeah.
Cannonball Dookie.
Obviously.
Yeah, to the Wright brothers.
You guys got to see this.
Hippo fart explosion comes to mind.
Planet, gay planet unicorn.
Do you guys remember that?
Don't remember that at all.
A gay boy wished for a planet full of unicorns.
Planet Unicorn.
No, I think I would know by the name.
Don't know.
Why can't I think of a single YouTube video right now?
No, I would do the scary zombie pop-up car commercial to Adolf Hitler.
Hitler, you've got gotta watch this car commercial.
But look real close.
Getting Hitler to be like,
that would be the top feeling in the world.
Get him with that exorcist pop-up maze
where it gets thinner.
He would quit everything, right?
If you spooked him publicly.
Hitler.
That would be a good moment in history He would quit everything, right, if you spooked him publicly? Yeah, he made Hitler. Oh! Spooked.
That would be a good moment in history is when we, what was the, the Eagles, what do they call the fucking Hitler's lair?
The Eagle's Nest?
Eagle's Nest, that's what it was.
To be there when the boys got up to the Eagle's Nest.
Oh, yeah, the boys had to have been feeling great.
Hammering beers up there.
They had to have been really rowdy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If only Barstool Center production team did document it.
Could have been the original Beer Olympics.
It's the boys throwing them back.
Hitler's stash of beer, I guess.
Yeah.
He was a pill guy
I think
big time
good pills
I'd show KB in a balloon
to people in the
yeah
oh yeah
that'd be a good video
that'd be a good clip
that would awe
that would
yeah it would
feels good
showing Oppenheimer
Gangnam style
that'd be sick
he would like that
do you think you could
win a war with one
Jeep Wrangler
like an old war just m you could win a war with one Jeep Wrangler, like an old war?
Just mowing people down?
Yeah.
Does any car?
I'll give you a Jeep Wrangler.
Just one battle.
The shock and awe of it.
I feel like you'd stop everyone in their tracks.
Yeah, we'd have to try it.
Yeah, could you take out a small army with a Hummer?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think so.
Kyle, how many followers do you have on Twitter?
250,000.
If you could weaponize half of them, what country would be easy to take over?
Many. Yeah? Many.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Tuvalu, St. Lucia, Micronesia, Samoa, St. Kitsunevis.
Tempting.
Quite tempting.
What else is going on?
What's going on?
Should we do Shady Rays? it mookie get ready for the season with the official sunglasses brand of barstool sports shady
rays our friends have you covered with their newest and boldest premium polarized shades
they're kicking off their most anticipated release of 2024 with a limited edition debut
of their rival collection this is a new single lens
style in barstool blue with a premium stool and stars lens etch and if you're looking for something
more casual the classics are also getting the barstool treatment both of these styles are
perfect for all day everyday comfort and performance they have hundreds of options
to choose from so you're bound to find the perfect pair for your style. If you don't love your shades, exchange for a new pair or return them worry-free
within 30 days.
There's no risk with Shady Rays.
Their team always has your back with personal and fast support.
Head to ShadyRays.com and use code YAK35 for 35% off polarized sunglasses.
Try for yourself.
The shades rated five stars by over 300,000 people.
Head to ShadyRays.com and use code YAK35.
35% off.
Oh, yeah.
Nice work.
Nice fucking work.
I love Shady Rays.
What else is up?
Yeah. Yeah. Brent, should we breaking news? What? What else is up?
Brent, should we breaking news?
What?
Check the Yak group chat.
I don't know.
Maybe, maybe not.
Oh, nah.
Nah, shelve it.
Yeah, I think we shelved that.
It'll break in time.
Yeah.
What else we got?
Hmm.
I don't know.
That's it.
What happened here yesterday?
Anything juicy?
I don't know.
It feels like all the best stuff happened after I left.
Was there shit that went down?
You asked, like, what happened,
and then everything you guys said, I don't remember.
Yeah.
Well, we were talking mainly, like,
Barstool basketball when you were here.
Yeah.
And then, oh, we went through the Danny Conrad.
He called you out.
Danny's a liar.
What'd he say?
Oh, Danny's lying.
That's what it was.
Danny is lying.
Danny's just a liar. What'd he say?
He just doesn't want to be framed as like a pussy idiot,
so he tried to call out Nick for things he said about him.
So he did cry at the sleepover and fall down the stairs twice.
He said you made all this.
Ice Spice was a Kyle thing.
He said you made all this stuff up.
Man, so he doesn't think so.
But now that you say he's lying, I guess.
Okay, is filling in on the Yak 612.
Did he do that?
Yeah.
No.
He did.
No.
Damn.
Makes you think. I did see Matt Henkel call him Stinky Man did. No. Damn. Makes you think.
I did see Matt Henkel call him Stinky Man today.
Oh, shit.
Danny's mad at me.
And I don't know why.
I don't know.
Because a couple times a week,
he'll order three orders of sweet potato fries upstairs,
and I try to grab one.
He closed the plastic thing on me.
And I always take two or three.
He is stingy over them. I don't know what it is but uh whatever yeah we got no forgive me tomorrow Friday have a date wrong yesterday let's uh feels like Friday
today I don't know why but let's get a little wasted tomorrow yeah let's play something let's
play something tomorrow a little game a little prep a. Yeah, let's play something. Let's play something tomorrow.
A little game.
A little prep.
A little pregame.
Pregame.
Before next week.
Yeah, let's practice.
Case race friendly.
Let's do a friendly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Messi was just in Chicago.
Argentina was playing.
Oh, shit.
We could have got him.
We could have got him for the case race friendly.
It's a friendly, Messi.
It doesn't count.
It doesn't count for anything.
It's not on your record.
Yeah, we can do a friendly tomorrow.
Hear me out.
I already know this is going to not go well.
We each bring in a themed drink that's super cute for each other.
Okay.
Okay.
No, I like that.
Actually.
Maybe not.
Who would you bring for me?
Oh, I don't know.
I have to get your...
Kate, why don't you just bring in...
Okay.
Yeah, why don't you do that for all of us?
Drinks for all of us.
Yeah, I would love that.
What would Kyle's themed drink be?
Oh, a drink tailored to each of you?
Isn't that what you meant?
No, I meant we each bring in...
So I would bring in like five watermelon goofballs
and you would bring in like five... watermelon goofballs. And you would bring in like five.
Oh, so the theme is just drink.
Yeah.
But cute.
Cute drink.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm in.
Yeah.
Don't worry about it.
No, no, no, no.
I'm bringing in a good ass drink tomorrow.
It's not that I hate the idea.
It's that I don't know what the idea is.
There isn't an idea. It's not that I hate the idea. It's that I don't know what the idea is. There isn't an idea.
It's the absence of an idea even.
She managed to pull it off.
What if we did a theme wheel of random themes
and if it lands,
you have to bring in a drink
and it's like that theme.
I like that.
It has to be at least an homage to that.
Okay.
TJ, is there like a random noun generator?
Gotta be.
And the noun you get, you get three spins.
That's the drink you have to bring in tomorrow.
Yeah.
I love that.
Just for fun.
Hmm.
Yeah.
There's gotta be a random noun generator.
Yeah.
Oh.
Okay.
One round.
How many do we uh just us five or should we get like uh maybe white socks to even in the mix that's never good i love uh i do too we'll grab somebody we'll grab somebody um so kate okay your
first word will be this okay music do you want to keep it or keep going?
That's such a good one.
But the urge is to always keep going.
Fuck.
Music's so good.
I get three?
Yeah.
I'm going to get to the third.
Let's see.
The music.
That's such a good, easy one, though.
Basket.
No.
Shit.
See?
This is fun already.
Republic.
Republic.
Kate has to do Republic stuff.
Okay.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
And it has to be, you can't just bring in like a beer.
It has to be like a fun thing.
Of course.
So what's coming to your mind when you hear Republic?
Democratic where people are public.
I have the faintest clue how this is going to be executed.
That's the magic.
That's the beauty of it.
Yeah.
And we'll grade the drinks on taste
Tipsiness
Color
And dedication to the word
Okay
Alright Republic
Alright I'll bring my Republic mixies tomorrow
Titus how about you take a stab
Here we go
Analyst
Yeah you gotta get got to give me.
Yeah, give me another one.
Committee.
Committee drink.
Those are kind of the same thing.
It's very similar.
A bunch of analysts.
Last one.
Give me the last.
Wealth.
Oh, nice.
Okay.
I hope I get beer.
Wait, Kate, this is a good idea.
Okay. Mook.
Here we go.
Lank.
That's good.
I might sit on that.
Ew.
Of all words to say.
You're going to sit on that?
Oh, something long?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll use that.
You've never said that phrase before. I'll sit on that.
You saw the word length.
Ooh, I think I'll sit on that.
I'm staying firm.
I'm sitting on length.
Okay.
Okay.
Procedure.
Okay.
Yeah.
Pass. Information. Too much. procedure okay yeah pass information too much yeah love an information themed cocktail uh yeah
pass fortune uh titus had wealth that is you can't use i agree yeah yeah yep next
oh a basis drink. Yes.
Are you already doing your research?
Yes.
All right.
TJ.
Currency.
No.
Proposal.
That could work.
No.
Skill.
Skill. Yes, I'll take skill.
Interesting.
Of course.
TJ.
Yours.
Oh. That could just be big.
Should I just bring a keg?
Yeah.
Thing.
Oh, you bitch.
Fag.
You going with thing?
I'm going to take thing.
Yeah, I think that's a smart move to take thing.
Sit on it.
Hmm. Stephen Che?
Tension.
Why ooh?
What was your first thought?
It could be like tension of a rod.
It could be a straw.
What?
Tension of a rod could be a straw?
Keep clicking.
All right, yeah, we'll go to the next one.
Ratio.
Yeah, you can do like proportion.
Oh, yeah, no, I like that one.
Yeah, ratio.
All right.
Zal, would you like to partake?
Sure.
All right.
All right, we're going to have a lot of drinks.
Ooh, village, boom.
Yeah, he's going village.
That's exactly what he wanted.
That's exactly what he wanted.
Oh, yeah. All right, so tomorrow, let's run through. Kate, exactly what he wanted. The algorithm knew. That's exactly what he wanted. Oh, yeah.
All right.
So tomorrow, let's run through.
Kate, you're bringing in a-
Republic.
Yes.
Themed drink.
So refreshing.
Okay.
I'm doing wealth.
Yeah.
Length.
Length.
Basis.
Yeah.
I'm going to have to really research.
Mine's skill.
Thing.
Reach you. Ratio.
And village.
And logistically, are we going to mix the drinks here?
Are we going to make the drinks here?
No, bring them made because no brand names.
Bring them made and then should we assign the drinks to other people?
Or are we drinking our own?
I think we just, I don't know, bring enough for everybody.
Everybody's sampling all of them?
We're all going to do
eight drinks?
Yeah.
A little tune-up game.
Friendly.
Alright.
Oh, I'm so excited.
Sorry.
No, no. Good idea.
Kyle's Basics drink.
Basics drink.
I can't even say it.
Your Basics drink is going to be really good.
I know.
I can taste it already when I close my eyes.
I just.
Uh-huh.
It's right there.
Yeah.
All right.
Do we have more ads?
Wheel.
No.
Wheel too.
Oh, the wheel.
It's all got wet yesterday.
Oh, shit.
Would you look at that?
Dry.
All righty.
What did you say, Che?
Oh, I just said our wheel.
All right.
All right.
Drink day tomorrow.
Can't wait.
That's the act.
Peace.
Peace.
Peace. Peace. Peace. Time to talk shop or do a Yankee swap. It's the act.
It's the act.
See you tomorrow.
Love you guys.
Bye.