The Yak - Day 4: The EGG Draft | Barstool Idol Presented by The Yak 6-23-22
Episode Date: June 23, 2022Lets DraftYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Big day.
Let's clap it up.
Let's clap it up.
Let's get some vibes in here.
Want some McAfee shit.
Let's get some vibes in here.
Woo!
Big fucking day.
Good shirts, boys.
Look at those shirts.
Holy fuck.
Big fucking day.
God damn.
That's a big shirt for a big day.
On sale now in the Barstool store.
Keep buying.
Maybe the best shirt that Barstool's ever made.
Boys, I opened them right out of the pack.
No scent.
Yes.
No vinegar.
No glue, no Elmers.
Run.
Whiff.
I'm going to wear mine tomorrow.
I'm going to go to, I'm going to.
Oh, hell yeah.
Good sniff.
I'm going to Denton Company at Wrigley's.
Nothing?
Nothing. That should be a nose full of Sauvage. That's going to be and company at wrigley nothing nothing that should
be a nose full of sauvage that's gonna be very excited fuck yeah the shirts are great um okay
final day of barstool idol yeah we have four contestants we're gonna compete during this
get us to three there may be some twists along the way,
but here's the plan today.
We're going to spin our wheel, and then we're going
to spin a wheel of all the contestants.
How we're going to split up the show today,
we're going to have each contestant sit in here
for ten minutes, hang out with us,
chop it up, see how they vibe,
and then after that
we're going to have them draft. We're going to do a four-person
draft between the contestants.
Egg is the draft, EGG.
Donnie's here.
He's going to cook it up.
We're going to have Owen go into the other room
while they cook and select their ingredients,
and he will be the blind taste tester.
You're going to wear a blindfold, though, right, Owen?
Or...
Yes.
Yes.
Thank you.
You will.
I appreciate that that My good brother
I trust his eyes
We should get a couple
Maybe tie them crisscross
So they're
Make sure they're both covered
And then tonight
7pm
Final ceremony
They'll have powerpoints
They've been working on
Yeah
I was up till 5
Pouring over
Different metrics
Different combinations
Yeah
Taking it way too seriously, but I mean.
Advanced analytics.
I looked at all their YouTubes, their TikToks, their blogs.
I have the illusion that there is no,
every combination of one to four works.
I think they're all very, very strong.
There's so many different metrics.
I think we definitely got the right four.
Yes, I'd agree.
Although, can we do just a little quick trust tree here?
Yep.
Never to be repeated.
I know where this is going.
You miss Clemmer.
I miss it, too.
Oh.
I miss Clemmer, too.
I miss Horny.
I miss it, too.
Clemmer is hot.
Clemmer is hot.
Clemmer is bull.
Clemmer is...
It's Clemmer.
Clemmer got the text from me from Dave being like,
who's this Clemmer guy?
Which is pretty much, I'm about to sign him.
Yeah.
I had never heard
the term cider junkie
when you said he was
a cider alcoholic
even if that's fake
no it's real
that's the best
it's real
he is a cider
what if that's what
works too
because he's thin
yeah no
I think he drinks
just like Coke
that's what doesn't
make sense
because those are
like 800 calories
yeah those are
so much sugar
yeah
and he's got the jawline it's like a razor blade yeah it might crack a watermelon Those are like 800 calories. Yeah, those are so much sugar. Yeah. Yeah.
And he's got the jawline.
It's like a razor blade.
Yeah.
It might crack a watermelon on his jaw.
Yeah.
I think having the one ring also helps your metabolism a lot.
Yeah.
What do you mean the one ring?
Oh, yeah.
Like a Lord of the Rings reference.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I never seen that.
I'm an idiot.
He does have the it factor.
Yeah. Yeah. So you never know. Do've never seen that. He does have the it factor. Yeah.
Yeah, so you never know.
Doors are never closed.
There's people who've gotten jobs otherwise,
but we are going to have one winner tonight that definitely has a job with us.
Our new colleague.
I was watching last night.
I never had watched the old Barstool Idols,
and I re-watched them in season two.
It was like, what?
Never mind.
Season two, they hired like five people. Two. Three. Now it was like what never mind season two they hired like five people uh two
three now it was ohio tate ohio's as a blogger gave oh yeah he was already there big ev had a
different path big ev got catfished to get here oh okay so he got catfished by a fake dave portnoy
and just showed up to the office one day really Really? Yeah. That's funny. And Dave was like, yeah, that
wasn't me. And he's like, fuck, he
flew here from Columbus. Really?
Yeah. That's crazy. And then
he got a job. Well, yeah.
Have there been any copycats
that have tried that method again? Lenny Dykstra.
He showed up. That was when
I was here for the intern interview. My first day ever
in the office. He had a gun in his luggage.
He showed up. He was like, Dave told me to ever in the office. He had a gun in his luggage. He showed up.
He was like, Dave told me to come.
We looked.
It was a Barstool Prez, the Z, that had four followers.
Remember that account?
Remember someone made an account with my name and texted Frank and said, come into the Yak?
Yeah.
Well, that account got me a few times.
There's like 30 of my mutuals following.
You weren't verified and it has the same exact username.
If I see those, I just mute them right away so I don't get confused.
I just block them.
That account DMs me on weekend nights, like, other side of the bar.
Yeah.
That's so funny, dude.
It's really funny.
Okay, so let's spin our wheel, and then let's spin the wheel.
Let's get it going.
Let's get these guys in here and girls.
Wet would really throw a wrench in this.
It always would.
The whole day.
Big time.
Never wouldn't throw a wrench.
But today it would especially.
There's some days where it wouldn't throw a wrench.
Yeah.
If you come to the show real dry.
Oh, my word.
Jesus Christ.
No.
Jesus. Well, this is. Jesus Christ. No. Jesus.
Well, this is for another day.
Yeah, this is not for today.
For everybody or is this a wheel?
One person.
Let's do it.
Let's do the wheel now.
We got to do the wheel now and then we'll have to, I think Monday is when we'll all be back together.
So Monday, whoever loses will have to do the hot chip.
That's fair, but this is hell on your butthole.
It's bad on your mouth and it's ten times worse on your butt. We got to get to Steven. Steven is exempt. No hot chip. That's fair, but this is hell on your butthole. It's bad on your mouth, and it's ten times worse.
You've got to get to Steven.
Steven is exempt.
No, wait, who's exempt?
No, TJ's exempt, because it's the gallon challenge.
You want to just do whoever it lands on, that's it?
No, we've got to do elimination.
It's too scary to do one.
Too scary.
Steven, congrats on the Brady shout-out.
Oh, you got a Brady shout-out?
Oh, yeah, big time.
Steven Che was in his tweet.
He typed Steven Che.
Oh, maybe him, but...
Or Kevin Bonner.
He did.
No, it was Kevin Bonner.
No, so I'm in touch with the TV12 sports team,
and I wouldn't be surprised if they did the first two,
so this is the third time.
But they emailed me right away.
They were like, wow, Tom getting involved.
You know Dave Portnoy will buy that water bottle and not let you touch it.
That was Kevin Bonner.
Kevin Bonner always uses the word should.
It's his calling card.
He's the should bandit.
That's a Kevin Bonner original.
You can't bring me down.
No, duh.
We're well aware of that.
You came close during the bench press.
I didn't see you so low.
I still think he's lying.
The bench press smells.
If he's training as much as he says he is, or if he's training at all,
I think he would be able to do it.
He's 6'2 and in good shape.
He could have lifted that last week.
Yes, he could have.
He would not have.
He went back down.
You think he's rope-a-doping? I think he's rope-a-doping. I think he's setting up for the comeback. He's have lifted that last week. Yes, he could have. You think he's rope-a-doping?
I think he's rope-a-doping. I think he's setting up for the comeback.
He's never done that.
He's never done that. A trusted confidant of yours,
Jake Marsh, was watching me bench yesterday.
He was in there and I just went in.
He saw me bench, so I did
35 on each side.
Not even close to
185. I wanted to hate the blazer six hours early.
I love it.
70 plus 45.
Wait, no.
I did more than that.
You did 35 on each side?
No, no, no.
Sorry.
I did 55s on each side, so 110 plus the bar.
So 155.
And I did that four times.
So I think I can do 185 by Monday.
Okay.
It'll be close.
I got it.
Now I'm fully out on your theory.
I thought you were actually going to the gym and working out.
You did four reps.
Well, I mean, I did one set.
You did four reps once, and you think that's going to be the changing factor?
I did a couple sets.
It was a decreasing number of reps in each set.
Okay, so let's see who's eating the hot chip on Monday.
By the way, it is official.
Wednesday night we're taping the case race for Nick's birthday.
It is featuring Shane Gillis and Will Compton.
Unbelievable.
Not as teammates.
Not as teammates.
And we will be airing it on Thursday's show.
So Thursday's show will be the case race day.
It will be a long show.
And are we going to decide the teams?
Sometime next week.
I was thinking about it.
I think maybe we should just try to decide the teams based on the most competitive teams.
Yeah.
I think that's a good idea.
Right.
Is Shane going alone?
Make it more fun.
Oh, I think Shane.
I was thinking Shane probably should go with KB if KB's not drinking beer.
That's fair.
I want it to be so it's very close at the end.
Yeah, I like that.
I heard he was that good.
I think he did Rogan
two days ago and was fine.
He looked sober.
Are we airing it Thursday or Friday? Thursday.
Boys, I'm craving it. No show Friday,
I don't think. You know what I want.
It's a long weekend. July 3rd,
4th. What that am.
You want a million? A million views.
Oh yeah. Oh a million view video.
We'll get some subscribers. I think we can get it.
Everyone subscribe. The old one's at like 500k.
Yeah. It's been a big week
for us for subscribers. We should
get 100,000 by the end of the summer.
How can we zhuzh it up? How can we make it a little bit extra?
I have one thing we could do.
Guns?
Could bring back the slap wheel.
Yep.
We might have to because that was unreal.
That's going to be a part of it.
I still watch that video and I die laughing.
I like the slap wheel, but I think that we have other slap wheels in us, though.
I think that we have other things that race.
And I wouldn't mind doing a side slap wheel for shits and giggles also if like
Shane and Will
are both big dudes
and that starts to outweigh
the small dudes
a lot
with that ratio
we'll have a variation
of slap
slap initiation
between the two of them
oh yeah
they have to slap
the fuck out of each other
until one of them
passes out
or worse
one of them dies
one of them dies
someone will be dying
on Wednesday night
that's a fact
I promise you that.
Subscribe.
Presented by...
Probably me.
The weight of liberty is really sinking in.
Someone's going to die, and then we're going to bring them back to life.
Dead body, and we're just pouring Revitalite all over it.
Come back to us.
All right, TJ, you want to do this hot chip wheel?
So someone's going to have their Monday ruined.
That wheel.
Someone's Monday is going to suck.
Zah, have you opted out?
So our immunity is tied together, and it was his challenge.
No, no, no.
How does that work for me?
You guys have separate immunity.
Oh, okay.
So do you want to be immune from this?
You probably won't hit it.
You can handle this.
And also, you're out first every time.
I'll save my immunity.
Brandon is the one that, he loses this will be.
His skin will change colors like an anamorph.
I eat a normally spiced taco, and it's like a hot chip to me.
So I can't handle this.
This is very nerve-wracking for Brandon.
All right, so this will be Monday.
What a packed week.
Monday, Wednesday.
We did say that we were going to do Nick's KB's Wild featuring Nick.
Oh, yeah.
For Friday that we're going to tape.
We'll figure out if we have enough time.
Okay.
Can we just do that on Tuesday?
I don't want Brandon to die.
Brandon, if it's you, if we all agree, you can eat a poker chip instead.
Oh, I like that.
I like that.
That's like just wide enough to be impossible to swallow whole.
Can we like microwave it though?
So it's like you can nuke it. Physically hot? Yeah Can we like microwave it though? So it's like, okay, you can
nuke it. Physically hot? Yeah, we can get it hot
and you can keep it in your mouth until it
like dissolves.
Microwave.
If it's unanimous. I'll also throw out one other chip
maybe he can eat.
How about a chipmunk? You can eat a chipmunk
as well.
Chipmunk.
He would gladly. It's a delicacy.
You gotta find it and kill it yourself.
Again, easy.
And bones.
I've done it.
And bones.
I've done it anyway.
Bones and bones.
And the penis.
You have to eat the chipmunk's penis.
It has to be a male.
And you have to eat like an apple.
You have to use the bones like a toothpick.
I can do that.
The chipmunk's easy.
Okay.
I do it anyway.
I bet you I could eat a poker chip faster than you could eat a chipmunk.
No chance. I might take it down in one bite. And could eat a poker chip faster than you could eat a chipmunk. No chance.
I might take it down in one bite.
And that's what we'll do during the case race.
Team poker chip versus team chipmunk.
For the case race, I don't know if we've already talked about this,
but maybe one in the future we should definitely have Biz and Witt on.
Yes.
That would be awesome.
Definitely.
I think we'll just do it for all of our birthdays.
What was that?
Benders?
Okay.
Benders.
Here we go. This is elimination wheel. our birthdays. What was that? Benders? Okay. Benders. Here we go.
This is Elimination Wheel.
Benders on a bender?
Bender.
Watching Futurama.
Oh, that's a shame.
Futurama and Benders?
I'm out.
So dumb.
You ever had to do anything?
Yes.
You're the best, man.
Remember when I had to go out and get sprayed down by those guys across the street?
Oh, yeah.
I had to do that.
That was one of my favorite moments.
Wasn't that just a day where everybody did something?
I'm fucked.
Right.
I'm fucked.
That's always a bad sign.
Here we go, Roan.
Look at the Wrinklevoss twins over there.
That's us.
The Wrinklevoss twins?
Let's go, Owen.
You're old.
Oh, fuck.
You've caught sight of my ballsack.
It is out. That sucks. This sucks. You've caught sight of my bullshit. He's out.
That sucks.
This sucks.
All my enemies are off the wheel.
Yeah, I know.
You guys shouldn't.
Bottom three.
You shouldn't be nervous yet.
This also just feels, I'm just going to say it right now, this just feels like an Owen thing that he's going to have to just be tortured by.
Doesn't it?
Yeah, and we're just all like, how you doing, Owen?
He's like, I'm fine.
I'm good. And he's just sweating everywhere. Yeah, poker face? Yeah, and we're just all like, how you doing, Owen? He's like, I'm fine. I'm good.
And he's just sweating everywhere.
Yeah, poker face.
Wait, has Owen ever sweated?
No.
You sweat?
You've never sweated?
It's Andrew type shit.
I've never seen you dance.
You pedophile.
I don't know.
I don't know if I ever have.
You could never be a pedophile.
I sweat when I poop.
Okay.
Oh, okay.
Does your butthole sweat when you poop?
I'm my worst.
I think it's a natural lubrication.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't want to talk too much about that.
Okay, here we go.
I'm rooting for you, Brandon.
I give away any industry secrets.
To get the chip.
Oh, look at that.
That's in effect.
I'd like to announce something.
I think it's going to be Nick.
This seems like a Nick thing.
The reason I'm on my phone is I'm signing mortgage papers.
It's okay.
So I'm e-signing mortgage papers right now.
For where?
For my dad's house in Mississippi.
All right.
I had to buy it because he sold it to a reverse mortgage to pay for meth.
Okay.
There was probably so much meth, though.
Yeah, was it good?
It was a lot of meth.
They're still finding meth.
It probably wasn't.
Meth is the walls.
Okay. Keep is the walls. Okay.
Keep going.
Boom.
His dad's degree was an MDA.
Is meth one of those things that is whiskey where it gets better with age?
Let's go.
Here we go.
I'm happy for you.
All right.
I'm very happy.
This does feel like a Nick thing.
He played the sympathy card with his dad. It was brilliant. Nick, I think this is going to be you. All right. I'm very happy. This does feel like a Nick thing. He played the sympathy card with his dad.
It was brilliant.
Nick, I think this is going to be you.
Sass hasn't made his play, neither has KB, nor has Zah made a play to
in supplication of the wheel.
I'm going to let the wheel do what it needs to do.
All right, there's his play.
Oh, you're being a wheel cuck.
That's his play.
We all want Sass.
I've always been a big wheel fan.
I'll let it decide.
It's like a brother to you.
If you just swallow the chip
and don't let it sit in your mouth,
is it that bad?
Zah, good job.
He said nothing.
Zah kept it to himself.
The tall boys are left.
The anus crew.
If it's me, I'm not eating it before Che gets his proper wedgie.
Fair.
He's got to have hot chip crushed up in his tighty-whities.
Yeah, it is about to crack.
Oh, fuck.
I forgot.
There you go, Nick.
There you go, Nick.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Always been a fan of the wheel.
Always been a fan of the wheel.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Didn't I disparage this challenge and say there needs to be an extra element?
The wheel knows.
All right.
Best of seven.
Fuck.
Land zone or eliminator?
Whoever gets four first is safe.
Just rip it off.
DJ, just hit that fucking thing.
KB, your hair looks great today. Nick, once again, great
shirt.
Okay.
Nick's up 1-0. Damn right.
Wait, loser?
What is this? Yeah, my shirt. First person
to four wins. Doesn't have to
do it. It can choose.
Yeah.
Oh, no. Nick, 2-0 lead. It can choose. Yeah. Oh, no.
Nick Tuoli.
It does not blow two O's.
Can I borrow $17,000?
All right.
Thank you.
The wheel knows.
This is something where KB's going to eat the hot chip.
Shut the fuck up, Kyle.
It's a random wheel.
Is it?
Oh. Oh. a random wheel. Is it? Oh.
Oh.
Okay.
Random wheel.
That was a bad move.
Big mistake.
Huge mistake.
You don't want to disrespect the wheel like that.
I think I'll get it because it remembers what I said.
2-2.
Random wheel, huh?
He basically said Bloody Mary three times.
I knew as soon as it was going to land on me first.
Had to run his mouth.
That's true.
Don't want that early lead.
Do not let this break up the fucking anus, boys.
One away.
Good thing I haven't had to do anything bad recently.
I drank milk and Devil Springs and baby food,
and I had my head in toy that with shit in it.
All for a complete flop.
No, all's well.
I will say I did try my hardest to make that work.
What?
KB's Wild.
Wait, why wasn't Kate on this wheel?
Where is Kate?
She's on vacation, but she's going to be here Monday, so that's a good point.
But we don't have an empty chair Monday.
Maybe we could put her baby on the wheel.
I would rather her baby eat this chip than me.
For content.
Kill the baby.
That would be electric.
How would that go down?
Bad.
Really bad.
Really fucking bad.
Tremendously bad. Well, it wouldn't go down. The baby wouldn't do Really fucking bad. Very bad. Tremendously bad.
Well, it wouldn't go down.
The baby wouldn't do it.
Yeah.
It would be puking and crying for days.
Okay.
Is there footage of this?
Maybe he's like, okay, well, I'd like to still see it.
But do babies have, never mind.
What?
I'm not even going to say it.
A mouse?
A taste?
I was going to say, do they have as advanced taste buds?
I think it's more so.
Yeah, no.
Have you ever seen they put like a warhead and they...
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I was trying that.
Baby's take their first sip of Mountain Dew and it's like the spiciest thing in the world.
Yeah, yeah.
It's been this fucking thing.
Stupid of me to say.
Some Gerber's hot chip.
But Kate said her son's Muslim, no?
Yep.
She said that on the yak?
Yep.
Unrelated.
Not her.
Or her husband.
Or Pat.
Or the beef.
Or the beef.
Beef isn't Muslim.
Hell no.
That makes sense.
He loves to eat pig.
Let's get the last one.
It's not the last one.
I don't like that you said that.
Oh.
Got too cocky. Oh Oh. Got too cocky.
Oh, he got too cocky.
Now it's the last one, boys.
Seven.
Way too cocky.
Anything you guys would like to say to the wheel before TJ spins?
Let's spin the last one.
Spin, yeah.
Should we split it up into eights?
Nope.
I trust the wheel.
Okay, here we go.
Oh. Oh. I trust the wheel Okay here we go Oh Oh
Nicky
Nicky Nicky
Nick you made a lot
But you spent more
Alright so Monday
Nick will be eating a hot chip
I think that was an
Anderson Park bar
Sorry Nick Yeah it Yeah, it's
okay. It's just... Anderson pock?
No, dream job.
Anderson pock bar.
I just want to say, Nick. Alou pock
bar. If I could eat the chip
instead of you, I would. You could.
No, because the wheel. No, the wheel.
If I could, I would.
No, no, this is fine.
You know, we've all done our fair share of shitty things.
Have we?
No.
It's been weighted a little bit.
My worst thing is I had to eat 50 nuggets one day.
And you asked to do that.
No, it's fine.
We're all pallbearers and Nick is just shouldering.
All right, let's get someone in here, right? Let's get it going. I'm going to give up my seat for this. All right, let's get someone in here, right?
Let's get it going.
I'm going to give up my seat for this.
All right, cool.
All right, I'll give up mine.
You know what I'm going to give him?
Spend the real money.
Brandon has to do stuff.
Is Brandon a martyr?
Yeah, no.
Or does Brandon have Chick-fil-A?
No, he's got stuff to do.
Yeah, he wants to finish his mortgage.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
All right, so you come back for the draft, Brandon.
No, I...
Dude, I weigh heavily how people interact with you
and vice versa. So wait, I want the draft, Brandon. No. Dude, I weigh heavily how people interact with you and vice versa.
So wait.
You want to put him there?
No, they have to sit.
I'll sit there.
Put him in the chair.
You can do your mortgage.
And you definitely have 17K liquid, Brandon.
I know what you're making.
All right.
Spin it, and let's see who's coming in first, and I'll set the timer.
Excuse me.
Gross colors. Gross colors.
Gross palette.
Ew.
All right, Danny.
Look at Danny.
Did you say Our Lady of Victory?
Danny's coming in.
Let me set that up.
Prokial School.
It's the colorway for Floral Park's Parish, Our Lady of Victory.
Also, Walter Mercy Academy had that colorway.
Did they call it OLV?
Yeah.
First hacky sack was exactly that color palette.
It was made by Jester.
It had sand in it as opposed to beans.
You could do stalls easier.
I got mine from PacSun, and I would have my mom knit it open
and eliminate a lot of the beans.
Yeah.
Rest on my...
She'd knit it shut?
My neck, back of my neck, easier for stalls.
You and I were actually the...
I was the best in my class.
I was the best in my class.
My record was 86.
Annie.
I was triple digits.
Annie, what's up? Hey, guys. So you're going to hang out with best in my class. My record was 86. I was triple digits.
Annie, what's up?
So you're going to hang out with us for 10 minutes.
We're talking about
Hacky Sack right now.
See how you do.
Okay.
Put your headphones on
just in case Stephen
tries to say something.
How do you win Hacky Sack?
You played one-on-one?
I would just go for records
for PRs.
Okay.
What was your PR?
86.
Nick's was triple digits.
101.
You didn't Hacky Sack
101 times.
I could probably still do it.
I did 86 easily.
If I could get my jester with that color palette, it was attractive.
You were hacky sacking in Chicago after that.
That was a full ass sack though.
Yeah, that was an overstuffed sack.
You're from San Diego, right?
Yes.
So hacky sack, that's a thing.
It's a religion.
It's a culture feat.
Yeah.
I mean, I've seen some people at the beach, but I've never been a hacky sacker a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. It's a culture. I've seen some people at the beach, but I've never been a hacky-sacker.
San Diego's not real life.
No, not at all.
It's my favorite city I've been to in America.
Because it's not real life.
It's the most temperate.
Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying.
I love it too.
It's the weather.
Yeah.
And you just...
You chill.
On a Wednesday,
there's just people at the beach
playing volleyball.
Yeah.
Well, spikeball's a big thing.
You guys know?
I don't like it.
That's not volleyball, though.
You're not a spikeball fan? I don't like it. That's not volleyball, though. You're not a spike ball fan?
I don't like when dudes get really into it.
Exactly.
Dudes shouldn't get into any non-major sports like that or activities.
Agreed.
Last time I played spike ball, I was trying to drink while playing it.
You actually kind of have to get up a sweat.
Yeah.
It's for athletes.
It's an athlete's game.
Yeah.
Well, people get mad at you if you try to have fun and play.
People are taking it way too seriously.
And then they're like, what are you doing?
And I'm like, sorry, I'm just trying to have fun.
So you all either are in it or you're not.
Right.
It's like it's not a drinking game.
Yeah.
The spike ball hardos are going to be up in your mentions now.
That's fine.
I can handle them.
Both of you guys.
So you went to ASU or?
No.
So I went to University of Arizona, the better one.
Tucson.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And Tucson. Did you know, yeah, in Tucson.
Did you know David Blatman?
No.
Fat ass, bald guy.
He's a massive ass.
He's got the fattest ass.
Okay, well.
Yeah, he went to Arizona.
I want to latch on to the back of that, like the fish on the bottom are like sharks.
Just get dragged around by-
Psychotic relationship.
Just in his ecosystem.
The little fucking birds on top of a hippo.
Very much.
Yeah, just fucking
chilling on his ass.
He wouldn't even know.
Nope.
Too fat.
He's an Arizona guy, though.
He's a big Arizona
basketball guy.
Oh, yeah.
I actually had a lot of friends
on the basketball team,
so it was pretty cool.
What does that mean?
I knew that that was coming.
All he said was,
what does that mean?
A lot implies
the whole starting team.
Did you go 10-12 deep?
15 deep?
Josh Green, he's on the Dallas Mavericks right now.
Who are we going to get drafted tonight?
Matherin and Terry, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nick Matherin.
I actually watched the basketball because u of a basketball is great
football was absolute terrible yeah i would barely even make it to the games i think
more often i just went to the pregame yeah arizona ball got canceled oh i know i remember that i heard
about that are you looking forward to it yeah that would have been so sick are you kidding me did you catch any flack for the roe v
wade oh um yeah i mean a little but i also didn't want to talk about that kind of culture yeah right
and that was a funny spin i like yeah i honestly just felt kind of i don't like talking about any
like super controversial things i guess right you know it not my. It's talking about better way to fish. Right. Yeah.
Yeah.
Rowing or wading.
What'd you think about that new gun bill that was passed, though?
New York.
There's just no comment for.
Yeah, that's the right. Have you ever shot an AR-15?
You're more of a Trump gal or a DeSantis gal?
You guys.
How are we going to take back our country?
Will it be that guy or the other guy?
Can it truly be great again?
By we, you know.
Yeah.
Don't get yacked by these guys.
They want to make you uncomfortable.
Yeah, no, good.
I like it.
Bring it on.
That's your thing.
When did you start doing videos like that?
So it's coming up on five years now.
I started sophomore year of college and so i did
you graduate i graduated in 2020 it was like the covet year so oh that's you have a graduation
ceremony nope graduated out of bar i don't even remember my name popping up one here i'm so down
i can't back that up but if we if you get hired we can have a graduation yeah yeah yes i feel
like redoing it like aren't kids like
still graduating that like we're supposed to graduate like years ago like mine was like
this fall yeah yeah this winter yeah wait the actual ceremony is overrated i didn't go to
mine i just fucking went home after my last class really honestly they had one a year after they
were like yeah come back and you'll have one and i was and i went back there because it was during
homecoming but i went there to just strictly party.
I wasn't going there to the actual ceremony
because it's one minute and my parents were like,
oh, I think we are out of town. Or no,
they were mad at me. They're like, why didn't you tell us
about this? I'm like, I'm not going to the ceremony.
It's a year after. It already kind of passed.
Big school graduations are stupid.
You literally sit in a big arena and you
get like, they just say... There goes Batman. There's
Batman's ass right there.
He's an exec now, so he wears You always sit in a big arena and you get like, they just say you're- There goes Batman. There's Batman's ass right there. There's Batman's ass. There's Batman's ass. There's Batman's ass.
There's Batman's ass.
There's Batman's ass.
Oh, he's not wearing crap.
He's an exec now, so he wears longer shorts.
He used to really dump that thing out.
You could see cheeks poking out the bottom.
Which is ironic because he got his exec job
because of his fat ass.
He's built for it.
Why would you do that?
The thing that got you to the C-suite.
He's built to succeed.
He twerked his way to the top.
What I'm seeing was sweet.
His ass.
His butt cheeks.
I'm happy you're getting the hot chip now.
That sucks, the hot chip.
Has any of your stunts ever retaliated in the form of a guy being way too creepy
and trying to actually continue the conversation despite it being a prank?
Yeah. I mean, a lot of people people will i normally give out fake numbers always so that's kind of everyone thinks like
what do you do with all these numbers i'm like i don't do anything actually i don't give them my
real number i'm pretty good at kind of faking that um but they're you should just use someone's
number who's real and just keep on giving people that person's like the tank's number wait so the
number you gave me on monday who the fuck is calling me? I know, it's not real.
Yeah, sorry for that.
Wait, so who are you working with right now, or is it just by yourself?
So I work with the Daily Dropout, the YouTube channel, but then I do things on my own mainly, and I've been really trying to focus on growing my own platform and that kind of thing.
But I work with the Daily Dropout too, which kind of was my start into all the pranking and that kind of thing.
Like they reach out to me at the start of their channel.
I think they had like 200K subscribers on YouTube.
And randomly they reached out to me when I was in college and asked if I wanted to try out filming.
And I was so confused.
I thought it was a scam.
I'm like, I'm going to get kidnapped when the filmer comes.
Had you already done a video?
Like they saw a video that you did and then they reached out?
Not really, no. I just think overall my social media, I've always been the type of girl,
like, you know, there's the Instagram hoes and I've just never been like that. Like I just post
videos that I think are, I don't know my personality. And I just try to like be myself
on Instagram. Cause I know that social media can be like so fake and absurd, especially
all those Instagram hoes. So I always like would pride myself on just
making sure that I'm like absolutely me right so I just kept doing that in college and then would
have fun like I would be I was insane like I would just wear the most absurd costumes to parties and
would just do like the most outrageous things like I wore this um full monkey suit like a gorilla
suit head to toe at this pool party.
And everyone's in bathing suits.
And my dad would always get mad at me.
He's like, you better never post bathing suit pictures on Instagram.
I'm like, dad, I'm in college.
Right.
But he's a protective dad.
Yeah, exactly.
He's like, I can't have my daughter like turn into one of those U of A hoes, you know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My dad had the same conversation with me when I went to DePaul.
Don't turn into one of those depaul slots so hope you got if i see your fucking bulge on instagram so you were doing this this is pre-tiktok you were doing the videos oh yeah tiktok on youtube
um yeah so i did stuff with it was with daily dropout on youtube mainly so they like scouted
me out i tried one video and they liked my video and they're like can you keep filming with us i'm
like yeah i'm down so i kept doing it and I was in school I would be like studying for a
final and then go film a video for like two hours and then go back to studying so I would just film
videos for them um and they would because it was they're based in Phoenix but I went to school in
Tucson so it's like an hour and a half away so they would come film with me I would create content
for them and then just get back to school so because i wanted to make sure that i was going to graduate and because i knew i wanted to do content but at
the same time i want to have something to fall back on so have you done man on the street yeah
i do a lot of interview stuff as well okay nice with a pickle yes with a pickle yes i have a
disgusting obsession wait where are those interviews held um so i put them on my tiktok okay yeah but like the physical location yeah okay oh oh sorry um what type of i go to a lot
of college campuses i mean that's also where i film a majority of my prank videos because it's
just college kids are so vulnerable and easy to fuck with that like i mean it's just a great area
i'll tell that to KB. He knows.
Are you going to do more? I was kind of fucked up when you did the deal.
He's pissed about the wheels still.
I'm so fucking pissed.
Are you going to keep on doing prank videos?
If you get hired at Barstool, do you think it would be a lot of prank videos?
Because on your YouTube, you have videos where you're talking to your brothers, having them read stuff.
And there's other types of content.
Or do you err towards the prank videos because that's what you like to do the most or do you do
it because that's what gets the most views um the second the second question i think overall i do
things because whatever my audience is really liking so i kind of just roll with the punches
like i used to do a lot of different challenge type um i guess videos and that kind of thing and then i was like you know i'm having a lot of different challenge type, um, I guess videos and that kind of thing. And then I was like, you know, I'm having a lot of
fun doing this, but I don't know if my audience is loving it. Like what's a good way to really
market myself and help grow my audience. And so kind of found that sort of thing that worked for
me and just went with that. Um, but if I were to work at Barstool, I mean, I would love to do all
different types of content, not just pranking. I love interviewing.
I think that I have a lot of fun talking to people and asking them random questions and
then just interacting with them.
Like, I love doing interviews and that kind of stuff as well as pranks and then even just
challenge type videos or, I don't know, different types.
Did you design that shirt?
Yeah, I did.
Is Danny Jackal your real name?
Yeah.
And I took, like, the Jack Daniels and it's in here too. But yeah, I did. Is Danny Jackal your real name? Yeah. I took the Jack Daniels.
Really?
But yeah, I made this. I've had this
all of college and I loved it.
I always try to flex it.
I'm like, yeah, well this is my name so you can't do it
because that's not your name. That's a fact.
I could wear that shirt. Anybody could wear that shirt.
Yeah, I know.
I want to sell these.
I should have had this as my merch.
Quite literally, yeah. Okay, so 10 minutes are up. Yeah I know I want to like sell these I should have had This is my merch That was Where I was going
Quite literally
Yeah
Okay so 10 minutes are up
This has actually been great Danny
I like your answer
About the audience
Because there is some times
Where you just have to do
When you're independent
Why not do what works
We do it with Nick
We make him do
Fucked up shit
And I think that also
Like takes away the idea
That all you can do
Is
Right
Is prank type videos.
It's more that that's what works with your audience.
So that's what you've done because the path of least resistance.
Yeah, definitely.
I think I mean, I love doing all different things.
I know yesterday was like it was weird for me.
I've been like super nervous.
I think just with like the live everything being live.
It's like a job interview is live.
Like, oh, my gosh, I've never experienced something like this in my life,
especially because the content I make is already prerecorded.
So I don't know.
I just think overall I've been nervous and I've had pressure and thinking like,
okay, my first impression is doing everything.
I need to make sure it's funny and whatever.
And so then it made me feel like super anxious.
And then you could kind of tell in the videos yesterday.
I was like, damn.
So, I mean, listen, tonight you'll be presenting to us.
You know us now,
at least you've been around us.
So hopefully that will help you.
And,
uh,
all right.
So we appreciate that.
You're still sticking around.
We're going to do the draft after this.
We're going to spin the wheel and bring in someone else for 10 minutes.
Thank you,
Danny.
Yeah,
of course.
Great.
You guys appreciate it.
Yeah.
Thank you.
All right,
let's spin the wheel.
By the way,
just a quick credit to us for our meeting last night coming up with this format because this is good.
We haven't had a chance to just talk one-on-one.
It would have been hours if it was with everybody.
Yes, yes, exactly.
All right, so let's spin and see who's coming in next.
Tweet out who's coming in.
I think one of her strengths is that you don't have to tell her to do shit.
She's just kind of a self-starter.
Correct.
That is a valuable 100%.
Yeah, I'm not knocking her for doing what works.
All right, John Rich coming in.
John Rich wrote a bunch of blogs on John Rich's site last night.
Did he?
He's posting?
No, he has, or yeah, I guess he has been posting low-key.
He has been just cranking a bunch of shit up.
The one where he talked about not looking at girls in the gym, hilarious.
John, how are we?
Sit on down.
I'm going to start the clock.
You're going to hang with us for ten minutes.
Hell yeah.
Do you know everyone here?
Sure do.
I've heard of you all before.
You're my best friend.
You made Yak Jeopardy.
Did you have to re-watch old episodes to get ideas, or was it just off your brain?
It was.
The first one was pretty much all off my brain.
And then I kind of burned all the good material on the first one.
And then I was listening to the best.
But then I listened to like best of the yak
like going back pretty far like all the podcast ones and picked out some things
i would remember like some things from time to time jay did you take credit for that
no i was just nodding my head like yeah let's go wait what do you think about steven chay
oh yeah i love steven chay steven chay is fucking hilarious what what's your favorite
part about steven chay i don't know i mean don't know. I mean, day-to-day.
Yeah, day-to-day is a national holiday.
Day-to-day Che.
Really is.
Part of his day-to-day life.
Yeah, I like Stephen Che.
His fucking comments about what with the truck that takes up three spaces.
Yeah.
That's fucking funny.
He's an alien.
He's unlike any person ever.
Like the most confident person of all time.
I love watching him go on the Dave Portnoy show and stuff.
Hey, that pussy, I know him.
Oh, hey, buddy.
That tweet doesn't exist.
You can't even find it.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Was there a small purge?
Nah, maybe a little.
I saw you and Nate having a sit-down conversation yesterday.
What did you guys talk about there?
We had a hell of a sit-down.
Is that true?
Was Nadeau presiding?
That's a good show idea.
It was pretty chill.
Describe it.
Be as transparent as possible and be as, you know.
Definitely wasn't chill.
Say whatever you want.
No, he was very upset.
He was very upset at you, Big Cat.
Oh, I know.
He was not happy at all.
He was only trying to protect the company, which I don't think you guys understand.
Correct.
I'm not going to comment on this.
I don't want the talk after me.
Actually, I'm fucking around, but I do believe that.
He has to.
Oh, I know.
He overtures all the bloggers.
He probably has to deal with all this crap.
He was basically mad at me, which was really stupid that I didn't go through and look at
anything before I came on here.
Not that you said anything, just that you didn't cover your tracks.
Why did you call Dave a pussy?
I don't know.
Was he being a pussy?
I saw it.
I deleted it.
And then I'm like, man, I really should have looked like.
I mean, if he was being a pussy.
Should have looked at what it was responding to.
Also, that's something that Dave would not care about.
2016.
He would not care about it.
Is it 2016?
He would not.
I have no idea.
I have no idea.
Honestly, I kind of panicked and deleted it fast.
And then I was like, man, I really should have.
Context, yeah.
Yeah.
Got some context.
But Nate is a company man through and through.
I absolutely believe that.
Absolutely.
All right.
So my question for you is you've been great at some parts.
I thought on camera you struggled a little.
I talked to you this morning and loosened up a little.
If you worked here, do you think you would be able to do on-camera stuff?
Do you think you'd be able to loosen up to get to that point?
Yeah, absolutely.
Honestly, I'm not nervous being on camera.
I'm nervous because this is just, like, such an insane opportunity that I thought I would never have.
And any time I talk, I'm like, all right, like, what do I say?
It's got to be funny.
Like, what comes next?
It just all happened so fast.
I mean, that's where I think all the nerves come from.
I mean, I did used to do stand-up comedy.
I went.
That takes balls.
Yeah.
I moved out to L.A. and, you know, doing terrible open mics.
You moved out to L.A.?
Yeah.
For how long?
Yeah, I lived there for a year.
What were you trying to do there?
Walk us through that.
So I wanted to do stand-up comedy.
Basically, I listened to Joe Rogan, and he made me think I could do stand-up comedy.
And I went out there.
You know, a white dude listened to Joe Rogan, thought they could do stand-up comedy?
Yes, exactly.
I liked it.
Yeah, exactly.
So I was super into him at that point.
Went out there, was not that great at stand-up, but that is when I kind of started writing, too.
So I kind of realized out there that I was good at that.
And the stand-up was, eh, I had some funny jokes.
I had a five-minute bit about tasting my own cum, and that, like, was the best.
That worked.
Like, it worked for the most part.
But then other comics and shit thought it was super weird.
What were the open mics about there?
What were the open mics like there?
They're brutal.
I mean, there's a couple good ones.
Like, there was one, this place called Marty's.
I don't even think it exists anymore.
But that would have, like like 10 to 20 people there
every night. And people were smoking weed and
drinking. It was a cool environment.
So you moved out to LA.
Were you working on the side?
What were you doing? No. So I
moved to Texas right after I graduated college
in Fort Worth. So you were going on the full
Rogan tour. Wait, where'd you go to college?
I really was.
Number one school in the Mac for STDs.
Yeah.
I once called into the Yak and made some joke about that.
That was the first time I ever talked to you.
I may remember that.
Yeah, you said something.
I think you didn't like the joke.
You kind of groaned at it.
Oh, look how the tables have turned.
That sucked.
The apple of KB's eye.
Have you been to Put-In-Bay?
No.
I'm just saying I haven't.
Everybody I know goes to Put-In-Bay. For some Just in saying I haven't. Everybody I know
goes to Put-In-Bay.
For some reason
I've just never made it there.
What's some of the stereotypes
about the Bowling Green area,
Toledo area?
You can be racist.
Everyone thinks we're hicks
compared to the towns around us
because we're close to Toledo.
When we'd go to watch
basketball games
and football games and stuff
we would dress up as farmers to play like, play into the bit and stuff.
So it is kind of true.
I mean, like, half the town is basically people, like, out in the country, and the other half is, like, people whose parents work at the university.
John, I think that one of the things that people have been, like, docking you for is, like, you're just, like, a normal white dude.
And, like, there's, like, a lot of normal white dudes at Barstool already.
Would you be willing to do blackface?
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
If it was done as one of the tweets I tweeted yesterday.
If it was done in a tasteful way.
Who has done it in a tasteful way?
Maybe in this office.
That's why Dave was a pussy, because he distanced himself from guys.
Wait, so keep going with your story about Texas and L.A.
Yeah, so Texas, I was selling construction trailers down in Texas.
It was a good job.
It was my first job out of college,
and basically I had money for the first time.
I saved up, like, I don't know, not even $10,000.
And I'm like, I'm fucking rich.
I'm just going to move out to California and do my own thing.
And moved out there.
I didn't have a place or anything.
I literally just drove out there,
checked into a hostel,
lived there for like three months.
That was fucking sketchy.
But it was in like South Central too,
or like between South Central and Korea.
It was not in a good area.
It was a hell of a place.
Shout out Lady Ruthlin.
Did you listen to a lot of Rogan
when you were staying there?
Oh yeah, a lot of Rogan.
I went and saw him like the first night I was there.
He gave me a fist bump.
You're like, it's happening. I mean, he was coming off the stage and i just gave him one of these
damn yeah that was pretty funny okay did you like feel like strength going i did what is the
equivalent of your vein yeah it's the equivalent of 15 chapel ceiling yeah
no so i lived in that house over three months and then i met a comic who was cool i moved in with
him for like three more months and the sublet was up and then i lived in a van for the rest of the
time shit you got mad you were homeless i was homeless yeah he had a van it was a nice van
it had like a big back and yeah i would just wake up drive lift all day because i still had my car
so i would just wake up drive lift all day because I still had my car. So I would just wake up, drive, lift all day,
go basically live at open mics, like drink some beers, hang out, whatever,
and then go back to the van at like, I don't know, 11 o'clock or so,
sleep, wake up, do the same thing.
Got really fucking tired of that, and I was like, all right, I got a college degree.
I'm just going to go back to Ohio and get a real job.
That's awesome.
Do you live in Ohio now?
Yep, Columbus, Ohio.
But that's, I mean, that's,
you obviously didn't work out,
but you took a swing.
It also seems kind of stupid to me
because you were just doing open mics.
Like, what was your goal, like, monetarily?
How are you going to make a...
Blow up, bro.
What are you talking about?
Just blow up from stand-up?
No other adventures?
Dude, he was...
Well, I started writing.
I started blogging. I actually blogged for like a couple of sites.? Dude, he was broken. Well, I started writing. I started blogging.
I actually blogged for like a couple of sites.
There's no money in that.
No, but maybe eventually.
Maybe eventually I'll get on Barstool Idol.
Right, there you are.
Yeah, exactly.
But no, it was cool.
And honestly, when I go to job interviews and stuff,
you tell them you did something like that.
They love that so much.
I agree.
It works.
I think anything out of the ordinary.
And it shows some motivation, too. too well and also just taking risks and even though you failed like that's what you learn everything from yeah exactly maybe you didn't fail you know what i
mean like it's all just the journey you're just like leading one thing to another thing if you
got that shit you might not be in here right i mean there are a ton of positives that came out
of it um except for now when i do my last my current job, I guess I made the mistake.
I guess I always tell him that.
But my boss decided to tell everybody at the company.
He's been trying to get me.
He's been trying to get me to do it ever since I started.
I don't work for a company party.
Literally, I swear to God, my first day there, I went on a Friday,
and they were having their quarterly event.
So they were just like, hey, come to the quarterly event.
It's fun.
We're having food.
We're giving awards and stuff.
And then he came up to me that very day,
and there was a band up there playing,
and he asked me to go do jokes after the band.
My very first day at this job.
Brutal.
Just a bunch of random strangers.
And your best bit is about?
And my best bit is about tasting my own.
Wait, so John, you're clearly a guy who's taking risks.
You still work there.
Why don't we call him up and quit?
Nah.
Why don't we call him up and quit?
If you pressured me to do that, I would probably take you up on it.
You seem like that type of guy.
I like that. And you're salivating. Yeah, I'm like, this guy will do anything, I would probably take you up on it. You seem like that type of guy. I like that.
And you're salivating.
Yeah, I'm like, this guy will do anything.
I don't want it.
I'll do it tomorrow.
Did you have to explain to them why you weren't going to be there this week?
Yeah, I did.
I actually took, I don't have any pieces.
Did you have another job interview?
No.
What did you tell them?
Yeah, I did.
Yeah, I told them exactly what happened.
You're going to play basketball with no dribbling?
Yeah, exactly.
But no, I mean, they were really cool about it.
Like, they know.
Yeah.
It's not like I'm leaving
for another sales job.
Yeah, no, that's,
I mean, that's
like a very open guy too,
which I always respect.
You should do Barstool Idol
for a sales team.
That would be funny.
That would be so funny.
In the back of my mind,
I was always like,
I was, I've been thinking like,
if it doesn't work out,
I'm going to go like,
try and pitch like,
I can sell for Barstool.
Yeah, upstairs.
Kind of my plan at one point. Well, Hank hates you, so that's probably not going to work out, I'm going to go try and pitch like I can sell for Barstool. Yeah, upstairs. Kind of my plan at one point.
Well, Hank hates you, so that's probably not going to work out.
Really?
Why is Hank hating me?
I'm kidding.
He doesn't at all.
That's good.
But the cum tasting shit is real, though.
That's real.
Nobody in here has done that.
Nope.
Not even for a second.
Well, I haven't been.
Fainan's gotten close because he busts on his own chest.
I bust on my own chest, too, or my belly.
See, I've cum in my eye,
but never in my mouth. I have a severe aversion I can't even look at.
Nope. I've never
seen my own self cum. Get this away from me.
You've never seen it cum out? No, no.
Where do you look? I am so averse to cum.
You look straight ahead? Everything about it.
He's a cream pie guy. He only cums in
vaginas. Yes, Drew. Oh, is that why you
cream pie? Yes. No mouth.
No, but seriously. You've never seen cum hit the air? Never. Yes, Drew. Oh, is that why you cream pie? Yes. No mouth. No, but seriously.
You've never seen cum hit the air?
Never.
Never?
No.
Like magma and lava.
As soon as it hits the air,
it's disgusting.
Were you a promiscuous boy in college?
Not really, man.
Not really.
You weren't fucking in a van?
Not that much.
Honestly, I did not fuck in a van.
Hey, you ever bring a girl back to the van?
No, no.
Back to the hostel one time.
Really?
That's worse.
It was worse.
That's way worse.
Did she know?
I met her on the bus.
Oh.
Okay.
I'm rich.
Okay, it's not as bad anymore.
Also, she was trying to be a performer, like a singer, and her stage name was Lyric.
Ooh.
Not that bad.
That's bad.
What if my name was like Jewel? But you fucked a girl named Lyric? That's Jewel. Wait, if your name was Joke, that would that bad. What if my name was like Jewel?
That girl? That's Jewel.
If your name was Joke, that would be it.
My name is Joke
or Bit or something like that.
Okay, so that was
10 minutes. John Rich, that was great.
Appreciate it. Yeah, that went well.
Illuminating. That was a lot of fun.
Go check out John Rich's blog.
Johnrichtv.com. Check it out.
Yeah.
Hopefully they'll be on Barstool soon instead.
Awesome.
And then we're going to still draft, so just chill out there.
We're going to do 10 minutes with the other two people, and then we'll draft.
Yes, sir.
Sounds good.
Thanks, guys.
Awesome.
Thanks, John.
Thank you.
Spin that shit.
That was good.
Yeah, good shit.
I mean, I love anyone who takes risks and bets on themselves, even if it doesn't work out. Yeah, that was awesome. John Risk. It was a good story. Yeah. This is good. This is good. Yeah, good shit. I mean, I love anyone who takes risks and bets on themselves, even if it doesn't work out.
Yeah, that was awesome.
John Risk.
It was a good story.
Yeah.
This is good.
John Rich sounds like a Tom Planty character.
Well, he was shaky, too.
I mean, he was shaky.
Oh, he's nervous.
I don't know.
I thought he got way more comfortable.
He did get way more comfortable.
I don't know how much it's just his voice.
Yeah, he doesn't.
His voice just sounds.
He's a warbler.
He's got a shaky voice.
He warbles.
He's got a shaky voice.
He just might be a warbler. We need to get shaky voice. He warbles. He's got a shaky voice. He just might be a warbler.
We need to get him some grit in that voice.
Yeah.
It's a marble reds.
No, I got a bitch voice.
It's cool, dude.
John Rich, you're hired, but you have to start chain smoking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're going to have to do something about that voice.
Your voice sounds like a bitch.
Okay.
A big thing with NFL prospects when they interview for teams is like overcoming adversity
That guy very clearly
has put himself out there
overcome a lot of adversity
I'd actually like you for the last two people to ask
a combine question
Che, I want you to give the opening question
Combine question, the opening people
Alright, let's spin it
Luke
Luke Let's spin it. Luke. Luke.
We got a few minutes until he gets in here.
NASCAR's having the music city for a weekend of country music and racing.
It's the best place to watch best drivers in the world.
The shortest super speedway on the schedule.
It's known for great music, honky tonks, and intense racing you can't find anywhere else. 1.3 mile Super Speedway provides a unique
challenge for drivers as they will battle
it out for 400 miles of action
with the Cup Series on June 26.
Large Spider, Glenny, etc. Saturday,
June 26, 5 p.m. on NBC.
And again on the 26,
5 p.m. NBC.
What was your question, TJ?
I have a text.
We should have Luke addressed.
Oh, okay.
Oh, fuck.
You don't have your headphones on?
You don't know what's happening?
Sorry.
Nick, do you want that hat?
Oh.
It's on the screen.
Wait, so we can't do Wednesday night?
What is this?
Wait, what is this?
That's hilarious.
It's a text from Fasoli.
I walked in on Che yesterday. Let's a text from Fasoli. I walked in on Che yesterday.
Let's address this.
Fasoli?
Fasoli's been trying to sprinkle, he's been trying to throw wrenches into it.
Luke?
He's thrown multiple wrenches.
What are you thinking, Luke?
He's trying to be a puppeteer.
Fasoli, sip this one out.
Yeah, he is.
Cut the strings, brother.
What happened there, Luke?
So, full disclosure, I was not shitting.
I'm sorry.
I'm just going to move it up a little bit closer to your mouth.
I sit down when I pee.
So, nothing goes all over the place.
You know what I mean?
You aren't shitting.
Yeah.
Nothing wrong with that.
We need that kind of toilet care around here.
Yeah.
It is gay, but nothing wrong with it.
I brought baby wipes.
Now, you sit when you shit as well.
We got dude wipes.
That's what I'm saying.
That's the one thing I didn't have to bring. They're all over the place. They're all over the place. Exactly. That's the one thing I brought. wipes. Now you sit when you shit as well. We got dude wipes. What I'm saying, that's the one thing I didn't have to bring.
They're all over the place.
They're all over the place.
Exactly.
That's the one thing I brought, yeah.
Fantastic.
Wait, if you sit when you pee,
like if you go into the bathroom
for three minutes,
that could be a pee.
Yeah.
Got it.
To be honest,
I was like breathing
and doing breathing exercises.
Yeah, it's like
I like to clear my head in there.
For future film study,
that's going to come in.
Yeah, that would...
Kind of calm yourself down with the breathing.
Yeah.
Closing the stall door is a little bit of a wild one.
No, no, no.
Well, I didn't lock it.
Oh, okay.
I figured the crocs.
I figured the...
I don't know.
You figure...
You should at least...
You give it a tap before you just push it open.
That's what I do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
American stalls and bathrooms in general are so, so flawed.
So flawed.
They should all just have the red and green vacant.
It should be like China where it's just so.
The space beneath, the crack that you can see through,
the locks work 20% of the time.
If they fix them,
Roethlisberger's coming out of retirement.
All right, Luke.
Steven, you got your question?
Start it off.
Luke, what kind of fish are you?
What the hell's going on, Jay?
I don't know.
Let him answer.
I brought this up in my blog.
The fucking thing that eats the shit off the tank, the algae, like the thing that-
The algae eater.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What are those?
Is it a catfish?
No.
They always stick to the side and their mouth is always gone. That's you? That's me, eater. Oh yeah, what are those? Is it a catfish? No. They always stick to the side
and their mouth is always going.
That's you?
That's me, baby.
Okay, I like that.
You know,
he knows what he's doing.
Yeah, that's cool
when it's looking,
when you can actually
see him eating it.
Exactly.
And it stays there,
it looks nice
and he's just,
he's about his own business.
Yeah.
Alright, so Luke,
how old are you again?
I keep saying 29,
30, I just turned 30 June 11th. Oh shit, happy birthday are you again? I keep saying 29, 30.
I just turned 30 June 11th.
Oh, shit.
Happy birthday.
Thanks a lot.
Thanks.
Okay.
So do you have a regular job?
Like, what are you doing?
Yeah.
Actually, I quit it.
I quit it Wednesday.
I told them I was leaving Friday.
So unfortunately.
For late.
Yeah.
It was.
You thought Yak basketball went that well?
No, no, no, no, no. The last Wednesday. Okay, all right, it was. You thought yak basketball went that well? No, no, no, no, no.
The last one.
Okay, all right, all right.
Yeah, so it was Quest Diagnostics.
I'd like pick up piss and blood.
Oh, yes.
Oh, fuck.
Fuck that nightmare.
Wait, what?
You just go around picking up piss and blood?
Oh, shit.
Not ejaculate.
Don't forget.
The turnaround time is too slow.
Okay. What does that job
Drug tests?
So yeah
Oh yeah drug tests
And like
STD tests
Yeah yeah
From what I've heard
Like boxes
There's just boxes all over the place
And like some hospitals
I gotta go in
You just walk in
Pick up a box
And drive it somewhere else
Yeah and like
The first video that fucking bombed
I said ambient
I don't think
Like no one really knows ambient.
It's just room temperature.
Right.
Yeah, so –
That's medical terms.
Yeah, ambient, frozen, refrigerated.
You got the different things.
Got it.
Yeah.
Okay, so you – and you quit.
Yeah, that's the thing.
I've been there three years.
I needed it for insurance purposes because I was 26.
I was like, oh, fuck, I need a real job.
What am I doing?
I was working at Enterprise, not even full time.
Okay.
So I got that job, and it's been good.
The new boss hated my guts.
Why?
I'm late every day, and I speed.
That's okay.
And I speed a lot.
Okay.
And they see it.
That's what sucks.
What do you mean they see it?
Those two are conflicting.
Oh, the whole thing's monitored.
You're terrible at that job. Yeah. No, no, no. See,, the whole thing's monitored. You're terrible at that job.
No, no, no.
See, that's it.
You just said you were terrible at that job.
But that's the thing.
You might not be terrible at this job.
Everything else, I was good at.
What is everything else?
Picking up the box.
Dropping it off.
No, no, no.
Like the hospitals and the urgent cares that I went into, they love me.
They're amazed.
I never missed a pickup.
I believe you're lovable because you are.
I don't believe that.
Were you good at your job?
No, no, no.
I see what you're saying.
He is good at his job.
He just was late all the time.
So then when he was late, he had to speed.
Right.
Double whammy.
Exactly.
But that's the thing.
He'd say, get down to Jersey before seven.
By the way, shout out to Clifton Boys if they're watching this.
Shout out to Clifton.
Shout out if they are.
They're Clifton Boys.
So they drop my shit off down there and then come back to Newburgh every day.
So if I'm down there before 7, that's fine.
And I was down there before 7 every day.
So that's why it's like, what's the issue?
Oh, because you were speeding.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I actually, I'm on your side with this.
Yeah, but it's their car, and it's insurance purposes.
That's the thing.
I never got pulled over.
It's five to ten minutes late.
I don't know.
We're splitting hairs here.
I get it.
It's not good.
It doesn't look great.
It's like, dude, what the fuck?
Just get here early, idiot.
But it's like, I don't know.
I have trouble sleeping.
I don't know.
It's a whole issue, a whole other issue.
But I think I quit because it's not what I want to do.
And the pay was not great.
The insurance was not great.
So I was like, this is the perfect.
Let me rip the Band-Aid.
Yeah.
Okie, baby.
Ask, Brandon.
I've got to ask the question because I have a different perspective than everybody else.
Yeah.
What happened to your pants?
No.
What is the question?
I see it.
Not bad, though.
What is the question at hand? You. Not bad, though. What is the question at hand?
You ripped your pants?
I did.
Okay.
So you know what happened, Brandon?
Today?
No, I can just see it.
Did you see the rip, Brandon?
I'm looking at his...
Hey!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, it's a family program.
Hey.
I love that you didn't even try to cover.
It's there.
It's there.
Look, I got a question, though.
A real question.
What do you think that,
say you get hired at Barstool,
what's your goal?
What's your plan?
I was plotting out there.
I thought you guys would ask this.
Smart man.
I'm genuinely a curious guy.
That's Uber drivers, Lyft drivers.
The guy Pat out there, I know he worked in the Bronx being a cop.
Like, I love learning about people.
I love asking people things, and that's what I think I did.
I have a couple videos where I go to, like, the Knicks draft,
where I go to, like, events and just ask people stupid questions.
Those guys on the corner smoking weed.
That was one of the funniest parts of the week.
Yeah.
When you were, like, talking about Seinfeld.
Types of mayonnaise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I like that a lot. Name another parts of the week. Yeah. When you were, like, talking about Seinfeld. Types of mayonnaise.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, I like that a lot.
Name another but Hellman's.
Yeah.
Oh, thanks.
So, like, I was doing it for content, obviously, but I did, like, love their answers.
Like, their answers didn't make it in, really.
Yeah.
Their answers were good.
And, like, I like connecting with people like that.
And I think I'd be good at shit like that.
I think, obviously, like, I think I'd be a good personality here, I hope,
and I think I know a lot about sports, like in the dozen.
I think I know a lot good about trivia.
I know a lot about a little.
I think that could help here.
I don't know, and just making content makes people smile.
Yeah.
The reason I ranked you third instead of first or second
was because in the first couple days,
you kind of seemed indifferent toward the whole job.
I didn't really see the passion.
Okay. Is there something you would commit to like a project a podcast of like a video series
yeah definitely i was thinking out there i don't know if this is lame but making like a podcast
like a half hour podcast of just interviewing people's like jobs like day in the life like a
fireman one day like the dog walk kind of. I don't know if that's stupid, but like I think it's actually very successful.
Eddie does a great job with it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think your skill set is just.
If you're in Chicago, you're in New York.
Okay, okay.
No, you could do like, look.
I don't know if that's stupid.
No, no, no, no, no.
We were saying like Eddie does do a similar podcast, but like the thing that's blowing
up on Instagram, the, you know, Faces in New York. No, what up on Instagram, the Faces in New York.
No, what is it?
New York.
Humans in New York.
Humans in New York.
That stuff is endlessly interesting.
New York has a different vibe to it.
Very much.
Something like that would be interesting.
And also, I don't know if this is along the lines of what Caleb does,
but always my passion project since I've been out of high school is
something called Random Questions with a Man That Looks Like a Pull-Out Couch.
And it's literally me holding a microphone, going to events with a suit jacket on,
like this guy who makes people money.
He's like, make money now.
Remember that old guy?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
With the question marks on it?
Yeah.
Something like that and just doing what I did in that second video everywhere.
Have you ever done that?
Have you ever done the wear the
suit jacket thing? I don't have the suit jacket
but I have done that with my buddies and shit.
Like out and we've done skits in
high school and stuff like that. Okay.
I like that. Yeah. And
what would be amazing would be going to
press and asking
athletes. I know that's a huge step
but I think they would love it. I think people
would love it. Yeah think people would love it.
And I think people are drawn to you, too, if they're walking down.
It's an infectious personality.
People would answer questions for me. Yes, they would.
Do you like Cocoa Puffs?
That works right there.
Why Juan Uribe?
I love his name.
He says Gene Hackman, Juan Uribe,
Steelers franchise.
Juan Uribe's got a soda can for a dick.
You know that, right?
What did you say?
His dick is like a, didn't they call him a soda can?
No, something.
What?
What was his name?
He's got a huge dick, Juan Uribe.
Wide.
Of course.
Wide.
Of course.
He's so chowed.
It's like that high noon can over there, the big Emmy.
Yeah, the big boys.
Like an Arizona can.
Why'd you say Juan Uribe?
So, I love his name, first of all.
It is a good name.
One of my fantasy football names was Juan Uribe's money team.
Okay.
And it was a fantasy football team.
Okay.
It made no sense.
Yeah.
So I just love his name.
Okay.
And which teams you root for?
The Jets, the Knicks, and the Yankees.
Okay.
We got the Yankees.
Me too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're a rare breed.
Did you do Dalvin Cook's jersey today because of the domestic violence stuff that he's got?
That came out last night.
Most of this stuff is still breaking.
For God's sake.
It's getting worse.
I like you now.
You're topical.
No, it's because we're cooking, to be honest.
Oh, okay.
Very literal.
And the pizza that I wrap.
The threes could be E's almost.
Yeah.
Exactly. The threes could be E's almost. Yeah. Exactly.
The threes could be E's.
You know what I'm saying?
E for what?
Egg.
Oh, okay.
It stumped me.
No, no, no.
It's good.
My last question is, obviously Dave's not around.
Are you a little disappointed because he has, in the past, shown a liking for larger gentlemen?
I mean, that he's not here? Yeah, yeah. Because I'm not. I mean that he's not here like yeah.
I'm not here this week. Yeah right.
What a piece of shit. I really
show up to work.
Yeah right.
Actually
that hell is he
all right. Luke
going Luke. Yeah we are we at time
we're at time we're at time Luke. Thank you. Stick around. We're gonna do the got? We got time? We're at time. We're at time.
Luke, thank you.
Stick around.
We're going to do the egg draft in a minute.
Appreciate it, though.
And then tell Caroline she's done.
Okay.
Thank you, Luke.
Thank you.
All right.
Luke. Luke, you baby.
Luke.
His Humans of New York post has a million likes on Instagram.
His does?
Yeah, 500K on Facebook.
Damn.
Yeah, like, I do think, you know, we do have the dog walk, but New York is...
New York's such an untapped country.
Such a weird fucking...
And he's got the New York accent, energy.
He's thrown on me a ton.
And I do think that, like, someone his size, using it correctly, that it will answer questions from a guy like that.
He's right.
Celebrities, athletes would be more drawn to that.
He knows how to wield it.
All right, Caroline.
I agree.
Caroline is last up.
Hi.
What up?
Caroline, what's up with the jacket?
Oh, I just wanted to fit in.
Oh, with us.
Yeah.
Even stand up.
He's got the jacket gang.
I wanted to fit in. Let me tweet out that you're on. Go ahead. Keep going. Yes. Even stand up. He's got the jacket jacket gang. I wanted to fit in.
I tweet out that you're
on.
Go ahead.
Keep going.
Yes.
Tell tell them all.
Yeah.
I want to fit in.
I was taking fashion
notes from you guys.
It seems like you got
it down.
Yeah.
It seems like it's
like ill fitting clothes
in the same color scheme
scriber style.
So it's a lot of like
if you went into a thrift store
with your eyes closed
and just
went like this
and then Nike shoes.
You pissed me off.
These boys are fucking it up.
That's in.
Am I supposed to sit here or there?
You're right here.
I've been kicked out for you guys.
Steven, do you want to ask your first question?
Sure.
Caroline, if you were on a bus in Alaska going 100 miles an hour downhill,
where on the bus would you want to sit?
Wait, in Alaska?
Why Alaska?
Slippery terrain.
What?
What is your answer?
Let her answer.
You asked for combine questions.
Do the brakes not work? Let your answer? Let her answer. You asked for combine questions. I know, I know. Do the brakes not work?
Let her answer.
Let her answer.
Let her answer.
So I'm in a bus, so there's no seatbelts.
In Alaska.
In Alaska.
Oh, there's one.
Yeah, I mean, it's obvious that it's the front seat.
Because, like, here's the deal.
Like, in The Vow, she goes through the windshield, right?
What?
The Vow.
Is that a book reference?
The Vow.
Yes, yes, The Vow.
Okay, so someone's with me.
So I feel like that's main character energy.
I feel like it would be the most dramatic.
I feel like I'd get the most attention
for going through the windshield being the driver
there'd be questions, did she mean to do it on purpose
were we nice enough to her
we should have let her win Barstool Idol
so I definitely think
that would have get me the most attention
what about saving the bus though
what about not crashing
what about other people
what about other people
what about other people
let's be honest we all want attention, that's why we're here not crashing about other people I mean I just think
let's be honest we all want attention
that's why we're here
and that's someone who wants attention
didn't I try her out
Brandon Walker show with Brandon Walker
presented by Brandon Walker
I've been pitching it forever
so I
think I'd be driving the bus.
Okay.
I would have just said maybe like Seattle or somewhere where it rains, not Alaska.
Is Alaska the slipperiest place in the country?
There probably are places that are slippery.
Yeah.
I don't think every place.
The slipperiest place?
I mean, it's a massive city.
Where does ice road truckers take place?
Alaska.
And the roads are poor, too.
There's bad roads. It's just ice. Alaska. And the roads are poor, too. There's bad roads.
It's just ice.
Yeah, but there's probably, like, there's good roads, too.
Yeah, there's probably really good roads.
It's like Alaska's beautiful beaches.
All right, so Caroline, how old are you?
Can I ask that?
Is that weird?
No, you can't, but you have to figure it out.
If you were to say how old you were, what would it be?
Like, when she graduated high school was a good way to figure it out. If you were to say how old you were, what would it be? Like when she graduated high school was a good way to figure it out.
So,
100 minus,
minus 74?
26.
I was right,
you're 26.
Okay, 26.
Just turned 26 though. Okay,
when was your birthday?
April.
April,
that's not,
Taurus,
Taurus?
What day in April?
No, I'm in Aries.
April 5th.
I don't know.
Oh, my God.
That's my birthday, too.
Is it really?
It is, yes.
Wait, that actually is.
Yeah, that's actually the second person this week I've met with the same birthday as me.
No fucking way.
Who was the other person?
They were less exciting than me, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Probably.
Wait, so, Caroline, how long have you been doing this?
Will Sass said he was excited by me. Whoa. Oh, no. All right. My praise. Oh, probably. Wait, so Caroline, how long have you been doing this? Lil Sass said he was excited by me.
Whoa.
Oh, no.
All right.
My praise.
How long have you been doing stand-up?
Tell us what your path was after college.
Okay, so I went to school for music.
And I said music instead of musical theater
because I didn't want you guys to think I was a thespian.
I know you're a thespian.
You're a thespian.
You can tell. So I did that and I moved here. From musical theater because I didn't want you guys to think I was a thespian. I know you're a thespian. You're a thespian. You can tell.
So I did that and I moved here.
From where?
In what college?
From Texas and I went to Oklahoma City,
which is like...
OCU?
You know it?
They have a wrestling program.
Yeah, they do.
Very good.
He knows every song.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's points.
They have a great music program, Shout Out.
I don't know.
I don't even know.
So I went to school there.
Shout Out to Stephen Sondheim.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, no.
Shout Out to Stephen Sondheim.
That was his school?
Oh, yeah.
Not really, but.
No, I don't think he.
He puts on plays, though.
He does musicals.
He does. So you've seen the he... He puts on plays, though. He does musicals. He does.
So you've seen the South Park musical episode.
Oh, bro.
I don't think I have.
You should watch it.
So anyways, I went there.
I moved here trying to do musical theater.
Ended up just doing commercials.
Oh, all right.
Damn.
I did a lot of commercials.
I did some modeling.
What commercials?
We have Pizza Hut.
We have American Girl.
We find them?
They're so deep on YouTube.
You really won't find them.
You have to find one.
What's the one we could find?
This is like Brandon denying attention.
You want us to find them?
My mom probably has them saved somewhere.
You have to watch it.
You definitely have it.
American Girl doll?
She does American Girl TikToks.
There's like a bunch of TikToks.
You have seen.
Yeah, I'm saying.
I did research on everyone, yeah.
He's like, she can only sing.
You know my American Girl doll TikToks.
I watched it last night.
I said the only content you were showing is TikToks.
And then so I went to your TikTok.
Felicity was the one I had growing up
there's a lot of other
funny stuff
I had a weird crush on her
I bought Kit Kitsch
I got an attraction to them
Kit was
well Felicity
is kind of hot
I've seen like
all of those movies
not anymore
really
I have two little sisters
and we used to watch them
all the time
yeah
I hated them
I'm so lost right now
they were terrible
anyways I'll look I'll look after that and we used to watch them all the time. Yeah. I hated them. I'm so lost right now. They were terrible. I just want to see the pizza.
Anyways, I'll look.
I'll look after that.
I would like to see that.
Tonight, I'll try to find one.
Yes.
Hopefully.
Okay.
Point.
Wait, what was...
Oh, so I came here,
did some commercialing,
did some modeling.
The pandemic...
Did it pay well?
Does commercialing pay well?
It's hit or miss.
It's hit or miss.
What are we talking about?
What's a hit?
What's a miss? Yeah, like what's pizza like? I've heard some people get... It's hit or miss. It's hit or miss. What are we talking about? What's a hit? What's a miss?
Yeah, like what's pizza I pay?
I've heard some people get.
It's like six figures.
No.
I'm thinking 2K, 2K, 1,800.
Yeah, like Shaq when he does a commercial.
Well, that's different.
How?
Because, first of all, he's Shaq.
Just kidding.
I'm fucking kidding.
Okay, so you guys know union and non-union.
Oh, we want to get Jerry here to explain it? Jerry. Most of commercials are non-union. Oh, we want to get Jerry in here and explain it?
Oh, no.
Most of commercials are non-union because it's cheaper.
Okay, so you're non-union?
Non-union.
Uh-oh.
But that's if you want to work.
If you want to work.
Yeah.
If you want to work.
So it's like $1,000 a day.
Okay, that's not bad.
And you book, like, what?
How many in a year?
You know what I mean?
Not a lot.
So, you know, I wait not a lot so um you know i
waitressed i nannied okay so you did you did the like hey i'm coming i'm trying to make my dream
come true kind of similar john rich had a similar story you start stand up in oklahoma city no i
started stand up during the pandemic okay that's good it's easy um so uh i did i started my senior year of college and i ended
during the pandemic so that's about how many kids did you look at i'm sorry yeah no no i i mean i've
done i've done like one kid i've done four kids yeah are you are you still trying to nanny as well
no not even for like a co-worker's kids it Tonight doesn't go well. Oh, co-worker.
Yeah, like if-
My co-worker
or your co-worker?
Say a three-year-old
and a one-year-old?
Is it my co-worker
or your co-worker?
Well, if you work here,
it'd be your co-worker.
If it's my co-worker,
we can work something out.
Oh.
If you're not my co-worker-
What are you pointing at me?
Ben has 10 children.
His kids are unruly.
Mine are cute as can be.
Oh, really?
His kids, I mean,
Tommy Walker would stab you with a sword.
Yeah.
Probably be the end of you.
Wait, I have a,
so I also, in college,
I used to do this thing
where we would dress up
as like Disney characters
and go to parties
and I dressed up as Rey from Star Wars
and they gave the kids
like these little lightsabers
and they'd just like
beat the shit out of me.
Yup, yup.
That's what Tommy would do.
Jerry, I really want to, real quick, Caroline here, she's non-union.
I'm non-union, yeah.
All right.
She's a scab.
Want to say anything?
I mean, I don't think she's going to win.
Do you get a vote?
I don't.
He's union for life.
Yeah, for life. I feel like you have a lot of good don't. He's union for life.
I feel like you have a lot of good jokes making fun of Barstool that you could
really tap into.
Yeah, roast us more.
We would welcome roasting you.
We would?
We love the Barstool mockery.
It's funny.
What Oregon City do I look like?
Salem?
Well, you know, I look like? Salem? Well, you know.
You look like
Portland, obviously.
She's got it.
Oh, look at him.
He has glasses and tattoos.
I'm surprised you didn't say bend.
She was the one that does
the sex stuff on the street. I'm sorry.
Why does that matter?
So you do think I'm going to win then? Maybe. I thought you were the one who does the sex stuff on the street. I'm sorry. Why does that matter? So you do think I'm going to win then?
I thought you were the one who does the sex stuff.
No, I don't.
Wait, but she's non-union.
Yeah, I mean, I'm not union anymore, unfortunately.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I thought that shit's for life.
Jerry, don't expose yourself like that.
Well, if you don't pay your dues, you know what I mean?
You're not in the union.
Okay.
Well, I do still pay my dues.
All right, so you are in the union. All right, thank you, Jerry. Alright, so what else? Barstool,
yeah, roast us. You don't have to. I want
you to come up with maybe a TikTok,
just really blast it.
Yeah, let me do my creative process.
You know what I mean?
How long does your creative process take?
Man, it could take
a few minutes.
It could take one long contract at barstool
how's how is stand-up comedy going though like i mean it's it's hard i think it takes a long time
i think anyone who's like done stand-up it's i the people say you know it's like
one of like the purest forms of, um, comedy. And like,
I think there's a lot of purists in standup and it takes a long time.
So I,
I think it's going well.
I think I've improved a lot in the time I've done it.
I,
I for sure believe in myself,
but,
um,
I'm sure there's a lot of people who don't believe in people who don't want
to book me.
So I think it's a long time.
I think it's a grind,
but I mean,
all I can speak is of my point of view and,
um,
I'm not going to stop anytime soon.
Yeah, I love it.
I love it.
Any other last questions?
If views or money wasn't a thing, you say stand-up's the purest form.
What's your favorite form of comedy?
If you can make anything, it doesn't matter.
Do you want to make sketches?
Do you want to keep doing stand-up?
Do you want to have a podcast, et cetera?
I'm shopping network.
I think people are very diverse
i don't think that it's fair to like pinpoint someone like this is what you do and i think
it's really unfair for any creative person to be like this is what i do and i only do this and like
i just meant like your favorite which one do you like doing the most i will that's what i'm saying
is like i just i kind of think like you're i mean i would like right now i would tell you that like
i love to sing singing is like just something that's so great.
I love writing songs.
Yeah, we kind of beat that out of you.
We knocked you for that.
Yeah, we beat it out of her.
It's a little bit unfair because none of us, no one can come up with an original funny
song in three hours.
I was also like, did you watch the sizzle reel?
I mean, what?
It was not, it was like 15 seconds of silence.
Did he really just say that?
What?
Rone is literally a battle, and he has an album.
What did I say?
You said none of us here could come up with original songs.
I think that he's just-
Roan has done it plenty of times, but you had to-
Look at the baby boy here.
Sorry, Roan.
It's okay.
You know, he's the Stephen Sondheim of Barstool.
Yeah.
Damn.
That hurt me.
A lot of people could have done that well. Yeah, definitelystool. Yeah. Damn. That hurt me. A lot of people
could have done that well.
Yeah, definitely.
Definitely.
Yeah.
I mean, not a lot of people
can sit and talk
into a microphone, so.
Oh, I like that.
There we go.
That's a little roast.
I think I found
her commercial.
Oh, you found her commercial.
All right, what happened with that?
Yeah.
No, you didn't.
It's a different podcast.
Oh, please.
Here we go.
Pizza Hut.
No, this is not it.
That's you. That is not me. That's you. Oh, you guys't. It's a different podcast. Oh, please. Here we go. Pizza Hut. No, this is not it. That's you.
That is not me.
That's you.
Oh, you guys.
That's you.
That is not me.
But I did want to say that I, before my growth spurt, this is just like fun fact, I guess.
I don't know.
When was the GS?
I don't know.
Maybe middle school.
Before that, I was a competitive gymnast.
Not very good.
And I, great hand school. Before that, I was a competitive gymnast. Not very good. And I...
Great handstand.
Do it.
Do it.
It's not an event in gymnastics.
No, but that's just a fun thing.
That's nothing.
Do it.
When you take the headphones off, there's a lot of dead air.
I can do it better.
You can handstand?
Oh, she's talking.
Uh-oh.
Kyle, she was a gymnast.
Okay.
Go with the 360 tuck just to be safe.
All right, here we go.
Right here?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm nervous.
Yes.
Oh, shit.
Oh, you did.
Yes, yes.
Someone grab the...
Yeah, do it out in the...
Yeah.
KB, can you do one?
I can head slide.
We all know that.
I used to be able to.
Here it goes.
Walk on my hand.
I'm excited for this.
I want to try too.
Yeah, go out there and try.
Let her have her moment.
I don't want to steal it.
Oh, that's incredible.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Oh, Danny's pissed.
Holy fuck.
Danny's so pissed.
Look at this.
Look at this.
Oh, my God. Look at this skinny bit. That is good. Ebony's pissed too. Oh, didn't do that. Look at this. Look at this. Oh, my God.
Look at this skinny bit.
That is good.
Ebony's pissed, too.
Oh, Hank's turned on.
Yeah, look at Hank.
Hank is like, damn, hired.
That was good.
Yeah, we watched.
Oh.
That was great.
All right.
Nice.
Thank you, Caroline.
Thank you, Caroline.
Appreciate it.
Now we're going to do the draft, so go sit out there, and we'll let everyone come back
in a minute. I could do one. Maybe you can do one. Maybe you want to do the draft, so go sit out there, and we'll let everyone come back in a minute.
I could do one.
Maybe you can do one.
Maybe do you want to do one?
Let's just say that you can.
Okay.
That was good.
That was good.
I feel very well-versed in all of the contestants now.
Yeah, that was fun.
Should we say how our minds have changed about all of them,
or should we save that for tonight?
Let's save it for tonight.
Oh, we're going to do a vote in a minute after the egg draft.
It's getting harder.
Let's talk about it then. It's getting harder. We'll talk about it then.
It's gotten a lot harder.
Really?
Not for me at all.
I feel like it just got way harder.
Really?
I got a lot harder.
Nick, how do you feel?
Easier, harder?
Did it change at all?
Feeling hard, Nick?
Brandon, come back down.
Nick, are you hard?
One stuck out for me.
One was a favorite a lot more.
I have a clear favorite going into tonight.
I don't know if you guys do.
I don't.
I have a favorite in my mind.
I don't know if we should say that.
I'm not saying who it is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think I'm really going to be a real dick during the presentation.
The presentations are big.
Huge.
Why are you going to be a dick?
Huge.
I think it's about time.
Yeah.
It's time for it. I'm so over it. Time for Dickie Nickie. Hello. I'm going to be a dick? I think it's about time. Yeah.
Time for Dickie Nickie.
I'm going to take a hiatus from opinions. It's so hard. I hate having them because I don't.
We're just...
Forcing opinions is like...
It's so cunty.
You're either going to be an asshole or you're going to be
a soft pussy. Or apathetic.
No, it is very hard.
We've managed to do all of them.
I hate it.
I hate to critique.
You could hire
Johnny Triceps over there.
I don't think I'm qualified.
He came to see me.
Who is he?
It's just a ball player.
It's Johnny Triceps.
A ball player? What game of ball?
That's Jake Mangum.
Mangum? What does he play? That's Jake Mangum. Mangum?
Who's Jake Mangum?
What does he play?
The all-time SEC hits leader in baseball.
All right, Jake, should we get him in for a second?
And he's on what Major League Baseball team?
He's in the Mets AAA organization.
Oh, so he'll be up soon?
Well, he's here now because he's seen a doctor.
He's hurt.
Fuck.
Here?
Yep.
In New York City.
Yep.
He actually is going to see Frank the Tank. He's got. Fuck. Here? Yep. In New York City. Yep. He actually is going to see Frank the tank.
He's got an ingrown
toe now. Imagine if every Mets
prospect had to see Frank.
You're dead. Yeah.
Berated by him. Alright, let's do the
draft. So, I think we
just get all their, I think we have them all
come in and present their
items and then
we're going to draft and make some omelets.
All right?
Are they all going to be in the whole time
or kind of pressed up against the glass?
I think they're pressed up against the glass.
Like having them press up?
Yeah, no, bring them in.
Yeah, bring them in, and we'll have them one by one
tell us their items.
Yeah.
What did you say?
He's just complaining about something.
Just walking off complaining
Got a stye
Stye
I'm basically dead
Jake Mangum's out there
His arm's fucking
Angling
He's got no PCL
ACL
He still worked out today
Yeah
Sash really
What?
Bring him in
Bring him in
Now there's four empty seats
Just have him talking to mics.
Yeah, might as well just have him sit down while they do this part.
A new episode of Rediscovering America tonight.
Yes, tonight?
Yes.
What time?
As soon as our stuff ends.
Yeah, we'll go right into that.
Beautiful.
I don't know if that's the right call, but we're doing it.
Is it going to be?
Yeah, if it's on the Barstool channel, yeah.
Definitely the right call. It's on Donnie's channel. Oh, so Neighborhood Eats, right,'re doing it. Is it going to be? Yeah, if it's on the Barstool channel, yeah. Definitely the right call. It's on Donnie's
channel. So Neighborhood Eats, right, Rose?
So Neighborhood Eats today and also The Nicest
Tonight. Also, yeah, the Macrodosing
Science Fair, I think, comes
out today. Dude, I'm leveling up.
What are you talking about? Oh, dude, Tommy smokes.
No, I'm not. Tommy, please.
Tommy's leveling up. You're leveling off.
Okay. So we have everyone
in here. We're going to do a draft.
What we'll do right now is we'll have everyone tell us what they brought.
We'll start with E.
So everyone go around and say what your E is, and we'll put it in the middle, and then we'll start the draft.
So, Danny, what's your E?
There she is.
She got it.
Okay.
No, this is not the E.
Okay.
Luke, what's your E?
You got to get this man a seat.
He'll be in and out.
My E is the Entenmann's Pop'ems.
Okay.
Frosted donut holes.
Okay.
Love it.
Love it.
Is this what you preferred the most or what you thought would be the...
You guys know how this draft is going, right?
Are you aware?
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
They've been briefed and debriefed.
Okay.
I think Entenmann's with an E is fantastic.
Shout out to Entenmann's.
All right, so put that in the middle.
John Rich, your E.
Yeah, I am.
Put it on the block.
Throw it on the block there.
I'm excited about this one.
I have no idea how these will react in an omelet.
They're espresso beans.
Espresso beans.
I don't know.
Will they get soft like regular beans? Okay, yeah, maybe. Stay hard like Nick. They're espresso beans. Espresso beans! Oh no, will they get soft like regular
beans? Okay, yeah, maybe.
Stay hard like Nick. I have no idea.
Alright, Caroline,
your E? Should I have
the E from the yak that we're throwing at you? I think we should
do the... I have enough for mysteries as well.
Okay, yeah, Nick, do the mystery
E? The mystery
E? Just
for a minute while they introduce their items.
We're just going to have them drop.
This is an energy drink.
Energy drink.
Okay, so put that in the middle.
That's going to ruin an omelet. Actually, it might cook down.
Caroline, your E.
I brought empanadas.
They were frozen.
They're thawed.
Nice.
Cheese empanadas.
All right, Danny, your E.
I brought an everything bagel.
Ooh.
Okay.
I mean, I'm not going to open it quite yet.
Yeah, good option so far.
Complete breakfast, though.
All right.
Luke, your G.
I think the ingredients are looking too delicious.
Yeah, let's take one out and put a different one in.
Let's get rid of those Entenmanns.
Yeah. Maybe we'll snack on them just now like a different one in. Let's get rid of those Entenmann's. Yeah.
Maybe we'll snack on them just now like a side nosh type of thing.
We just pass them around.
What should we replace them with, Nick?
Can you get rid of one more?
Yeah, sure.
Let's get rid of the Everything Bagel.
Okay, yeah.
I'll take that.
We're going to go with Envelope.
Envelope.
Nice. Delicious. And another Owen Roeder original with envelope. Envelope. Nice.
Delicious.
And another Owen Roeder original.
Okay.
All right.
I like that.
Envelopes.
All right.
Your G.
Okay.
Luke.
I got General Mills Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
It's a callback from the second video we did.
Oh, ha ha.
And then-
Luke got the most delicious shit possible.
I know.
It's the theme here.
I want to draft with Luke every time.
All right.
You're G.
All right.
There's another one I'm not sure how it's going to work in an omelet.
It is grain pizza dough.
Ooh.
That might turn out interesting.
Yeah.
A nice loaf of bread in your omelet, maybe?
Yeah.
Why not?
Donnie can do wonders.
Boy, if you guys know me at all,
I think you know what this next item is.
Hey.
Ginkgo.
Oh!
It is Nick's favorite thing.
Isn't that for the brain?
It helps you sleep. It helps the penis work.
It's like bio-tube.
I don't know what ginkgo is.
No, you do. It's your favorite thing. It helps the pineal gland. It doesn't work. It's like bio-tube. I don't know what ginkgo is. No, you do.
It's your favorite thing.
Yeah, it is.
It's the ginkgo guy.
The ginkgo guy.
All right, Caroline, your G.
My G is a grape popsicle that was also frozen.
Oh, I like that.
A grape popsicle.
That's a good choice.
Okay.
Annie, your G.
My G is our glizzies.
Oh.
Yeah.
I went for glizzies.
So I wanted to get like a real one from the street, but, you know, I had to make do.
Oh, that's good.
That's good.
Big Cat.
Yeah, why don't we take out the cinnamon.
I'm not even hoshing on.
Oh, man, Luke.
Oh, Luke's just bringing delicious stuff that we're just going to eat.
We'll do, um, you want to eat these, Big Cat?
Yeah.
Okay.
We'll do ginger ale.
Oh, nice.
A lot of liquids.
A real wet omelet.
Just how I like it.
All right.
And another G.
Shout out to the Italians.
I got some Genoa salami.
All right.
You just gave us the greatest three breakfast lunches.
Okay.
John Rich?
Last one. This one is a little more tasty.
We've got a General Tso's chicken.
Oh, okay. I like that.
So that's the rice in there.
Caroline?
I'm withholding.
You're withholding. Okay.
My second G is
gluten-free cake mix.
Cake mix.
I like that.
Could thicken up.
Dani?
Okay, my third is gizzards.
Oh, Dani.
Winner.
There it is.
Way to go, Dani.
This looks amazing.
Hell yes.
Hell yes.
What is gizzard?
Is that a turkey neck?
It is a... Sorry, go ahead. Is that a gobbler? No idea. You yes. What is gizzard? Is that a turkey neck? It is a...
Sorry, go ahead.
Is that a gobbler?
No idea.
You go.
I did a little research.
So apparently it's the stomach of the chicken, I think.
One of my favorite snacks.
Is this a staple in Zimbabwe?
Yep.
It's a snack at the...
Actually, Donnie had some when he came by.
It's a snack at the Chmedza household, if you pull up to my crib.
Okay, so this isn't funny, though.
We're not laughing.
No, it's cultural.
It is kind of funny.
What store?
I was looking up a lot of meat shops, and I knew you boys like your meat.
You looked up meat.
I like that move.
Looking up meat shops instead of just going to a standard supermarket.
Oh, yeah. I went to a supermarket, and then I was like, I got to move. Yes. Looking at meat shops instead of just going to a standard supermarket. Oh, yeah.
I went to a supermarket, and then I was like, I got to-
Multiple stops.
I like that move, too.
I wouldn't call Whole Foods a standard supermarket.
I would.
I also have one back up.
It's like the elite supermarket.
No.
It's everywhere now.
Amazon bought it.
Once Amazon bought it, I was like, not that special.
I have one more G if you guys want just for fun.
Yeah.
Because I got it.
I brought it here.
What did you get?
I brought Guinness beer.
Ooh.
Okay.
I want to add it, but I know it's a little liquidy.
Luke, chug that right now if you want.
If you would like to.
Wait, let me go get it.
And we'll put the gizzard in the-
Put the gizzard on this side.
This is the G's.
So, like I said, you guys know what we're doing here.
We're going to draft.
We'll spin the wheel to see who gets to go first.
You need an E, a G, and two Gs.
What do we do for greed?
What?
If you get greedy.
Oh.
What do you mean?
When the wheel, if it's – oh, we're doing a draft typically,
not like a wheel draft like we did the last time.
What did we do last time?
We spun the wheel, but if you already had your three and it landed on your name again.
Oh.
I think we should do a snake draft.
Yeah, let's do a traditional.
Yeah, let's just do a traditional.
What were we doing for the order of the draft?
The wheel or are we doing the order of how everyone ranked yesterday?
Oh, yeah, we could do it that way.
Let me make sure also Owen's not watching because he's going to be the blind taste tester.
So, yeah, so you guys are all going to draft.
I'm going to take a piss too.
You're all going to draft.
You're going to have to eat your own omelet,
and then Owen is going to blind taste test everyone's omelet to decide who had the best,
and then we're going to vote.
Vote on the best to worst?
You don't have to do it.
You don't have to do it. You don't have to do it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I can tag it for you.
You need me to, Luke.
You guys all fucking booze?
There's four of them, so you know what I mean?
Yeah.
You guys can all crack at Guinness.
Wait, you guys can all have the Guinness?
You guys booze?
You guys can have them.
There's four of you guys.
It's like your New York socialite archetype.
Oh, they're cold, too?
Yeah, I actually.
I was not expecting them to be cold. It looks like your New York socialite archetype. Oh, they're cold, too? Yeah, I actually.
I was not expecting them to be cold.
What's your, like, archetype as a New York socialite?
Toss one.
Archetype.
What's your, like, scene?
What does that mean?
What realm do you fall in?
Rooftop, club, bar?
Wow, it makes it sound.
Neighborhood?
Well, I live in the Lower East Side, so I'd think something like that.
I don't even think I've ever been in a club.
I don't like clubs.
I like bars more.
A bar, yeah.
A bar with some good music. No, like, EDM.
I want, like, some, like, good.
He's an EDM guy.
He's an EDM guy.
He loves EDM.
It's a fault.
If the song doesn't have words.
Yeah, that was Duke Dumont on Saturday.
I saw it on Mozart.
I need words, too.
Based off of us on the show,
what neighborhoods of New York do we live in?
Oh, great question.
Great question.
Upper East Side.
Anybody can guess.
Brooklyn. I knew it was Brooklyn, but Upper East Side.
Wait, just you guys,
like, members. Wait, just you guys, like,
members.
Oh, you're Brooklyn, actually.
You're Williamsburg.
You're Kips Bay
and you're West Village.
Oh, fuck. Oh, you fucked that up.
That was close enough.
Yeah, it was. I'll accept it.
But none of them were right. Yeah, but they also weren't right, but they were wrong. up. That was close enough. It was. I'll accept it.
But none of them were right.
They weren't right, but they were wrong.
Based off of just us,
that made perfect sense.
Okay.
She forgot financials.
She remembered it for me. She said Upper East Side.
Big Cat owns Governor's Island.
I don't know. West Village, that's finance.
Is it?
I don't know.
I live in Brooklyn.
That's like rich.
Yeah.
There's like a lot of finance bros in the...
Well, you're Kip's bae, so you're finance for sure.
That's right.
And you're 23-year-old finance.
Holy fuck.
I don't know what it means, but it sounds fucking damning.
Sounds like you're fucked.
It is.
Yeah, it's true.
How are we doing the order here?
Let's just spin it.
Spin the wheel on whoever it lands on.
Whoever gets first, and then we'll just go left of that person for the next pick.
Snake draft.
Left physically.
Physically.
Not politically.
Yeah, actually, let's do that.
Who did you guys vote for?
John.
John.
So it's going to go John, Caroline,
Danny, Luke.
Luke again, back around, back around.
So John, you have the first pick.
So this is our first two of the
same letter in a draft, which makes it very interesting.
And again, then we'll just make the omelets,
and then you guys all have to eat your own omelet, and then
Owen will taste test. Right. Will there be
any swapping?
You never really know.
You never know.
You never know.
That's fair.
Okay.
Well, I got a strategy.
So I'm going to go with the cake mix.
Okay.
Interesting.
Cake mix.
So what letter is that?
That is...
Gluten-free.
Gluten-free.
Oh, confused ourselves.
I thought you were putting a real fast one on
now that I'm looking at this none of these are E or G
you know a lot of things don't start
with E or G
well actually G there's so many
I thought of too many and I was like
you had my back
sorry about that
that's going to hurt you in voting
because he doesn't like to be embarrassed
that's all that happens on this show alright Caroline your first pick I'm like already sick to my stomach there. That's going to hurt you in voting because he doesn't like to be embarrassed.
That's all that happens on this show. Alright, Caroline,
your first pick. I'm like already sick to my stomach.
No, no, you're fine.
I think I'm going to...
I'm shocked
envelopes are still on the board.
Luke, you craving
one? Ginkgo!
Want to take ginkgo?
Are you kidding me? The bread. I'm going with the Luke you craving one ginkgo you want to take ginkgo yeah on a nail man
are you kidding me
alright the bread
I'm going with the
the dough
the pizza dough
oh
what made it
oh I don't know how
that's going to cook down
that was my pick
that was the
that was what I wanted next
yeah
I wanted a full bread
you're like going to
Luke are you worried
about anything on the board
any aversions
there's only four E's.
No one's picked one.
Monster, yeah.
You don't want the monster?
I mean, I guess it might go citrusy.
All right, the glitzies.
Hot dog omelet, and then you're at the next pick.
No, no, no, Luke.
Luke has two in a row.
I can't believe no one took an E.
Yeah, interesting strategy, but let them.
This is a fraternity hazing.
Yeah.
What do you think?
What do you think? Legal. What the fuck? This is going to This is a fraternity hazing. Yeah. What? What do you think?
Legal.
What the fuck?
This is going to be in a documentary in five years.
This whole show?
Yes.
Yeah, agreed.
EGG.
So you need to take...
You get two picks.
Actually, this might be all right.
All right.
Energy.
I think he was just not set by the most.
He is off the board.
He's about to take his first G.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You got to take.
That's an E.
That's an E.
Oh, he's having just soup.
Okay, that was a mistake.
That was a huge mistake.
I love this.
And Yak boys, no swaps.
No swaps.
I love it.
Did you get your Guinness?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm almost done here.
It's just funny because you brought the complete opposite of like anything.
Yeah.
Only solids.
And then now you're choosing only liquids.
I think it might go down.
I love the choice.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
All right, Danny, your next pick.
All right.
So Danny, you took what letter?
Three E's left on the board.
A G for glizzy.
Yes.
So I'm going to do E.
Got to go E.
Oh, sorry.
Or you could do another G if you want.
You could do two G's or you could go an E right now. You got to think about this because you're going to have the second to last pick. Luke, if you want, though. You could do two Gs, or you could go an E right now.
You got to think about this, because you're going to have the second to last pick.
Luke, you're fucked, buddy.
No, not Luke.
Sean, I think you're fucked.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, no.
I know.
Sean's fine.
Let's see what's happening.
Oh, Luke already took his E, though.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, shit.
I'm going to get the gizzard, man.
Yeah, probably.
Most likely.
You're having gizzard and egg soup, dude.
Luke is about to destroy. And bananas. And bananas? I like that. Yeah, yeah. You're having gizzard and egg soup, dude. Duke is about to destroy.
And bananas?
I like that.
Yeah, yeah.
You're going to have a meaty omelet.
That's fine.
There's only one pick here, Caroline.
Let's see if you can pass this very simple test.
What's left?
It doesn't feel like you're passing the test.
Envelopes look delicious.
Wait, do I?
So do I have to pick?
One E and two Gs.
But you have to have one E.
Yes, that's where this becomes easy.
Unless I don't know what you're into.
Is Kevin Connelly here?
Wait, what are the E's that are left?
Yes.
Oh, okay.
You'd rather eat envelopes than coffee beans?
What the fuck?
You're ending up with one of the two.
That's so...
You're sick.
Is that going to cut your throat?
People want to see you eat gross.
Yeah, you might not be able to taste it.
You're right.
People eat paper, actually.
It's like a thing.
Yeah, he's a professional chef.
Like autistic kids?
I mean, probably, yeah.
But it does go down.
So, bottom line.
Choose wisely.
Take whatever you want, honestly.
It doesn't really matter.
I mean, well, have you had coffee today?
You haven't, then.
It could work.
Have you had envelope today?
Envelope!
I kind of like it.
I got a little mail in you.
The coffee has got to go with something else.
And coffee chicken?
Yeah.
The envelope's going to be delicious.
All right, I have a mystery E in my bag.
I will put one or two behind my back.
If you get it right, you get the mystery item.
Why are you trying to talk her out of envelopes?
I want to see your E to envelope.
Me too.
I have a mystery E too. Okay, you have to go to KB's.
Mine's an orange Tesla. Point two.
What's going on? I'm so sorry. I believe that's a pill of ecstasy.
Which would be a funny twist to be rolling for your
presentation. Oh, so I'm getting a presentation.
Well, yeah. Oh, yeah, maybe not.
That's right.
We have to eliminate someone.
For E, I was thinking of bringing extended release Adderall,
but then I was like, is that illegal?
Are you guys not doing that already?
You don't want to give a leg up to someone else.
All right, so.
I'd have to confiscate it.
Adderall is the last thing I would want.
Yeah?
Yeah, it would ruin the flavor profile.
You've been getting sleepy.
I mean, for Barstool Idol.
You've been sleeping.
Adderall is the last.
I would not want it at all.
You might become outgoing.
No, I don't think I would.
I think I would just faint.
I think I would just, I'm too nervous.
I'm nervous already.
I'm even nervous.
Yeah, Adderall would wreck.
I would have a heart attack for sure.
Yes, it would.
It would be brutal.
Gluten-free, so G. G. Yeah, you have a heart attack for sure. Yes, it would. It would be brutal. Gluten-free, so G.
G.
Yeah, you have a need at E.
So you're taking espresso beans, and then you need another G.
Hmm.
Bigger guy, bigger guy, bigger guy.
No, I'm...
Do him a solid.
I will not.
You don't want Adderall.
You certainly don't want Ginkgo.
Bigger guy, bigger guy, bigger guy. Sorry, bitch. Take the espresso. You certainly don't want Ginkgo. Yeah, that's energy.
Bigger guy, bigger guy, bigger guy.
Sorry, bitch.
Take the espresso.
You got to take the espressos.
Take the espressos.
Oh, yeah, you have your E.
Snake draft.
All right, Caroline.
Your final is?
It's my turn?
Oh, shit.
We might have an extra.
Wait, Caroline.
We don't.
We got to eat.
Oh, wait.
No.
We're going back around?
Don't I go?
Oh, no.
It's a snake.
Wait, what do I have?
Oh, I have two.
We have an extra.
All right. Take one out. I'm I have? Oh, I have two. We have an extra. All right.
Take one out.
I'm so confused.
No!
I'm glad.
I don't need that.
I don't know what it is.
All right, Caroline.
Are you a vegetarian or something?
No, I'm just upset.
Why?
You wanted the gink.
What else did I pick?
You have a G and an E.
Caroline, very smart move taking the envelope.
So when her lawsuit hits, it's like, they made me eat envelopes.
Well, you could have taken espresso beans.
I think envelopes is honestly a pretty good choice.
Yeah, no.
If you cut it up.
Your flavor, there's no bad flavor.
It's like a manila profile.
You're right.
I guess the adhesive is maybe kind of gross.
Has anyone ever died of like-
No.
Yes, once.
What? Don't do the adhesive. Alexander's wife. Yeah. It's a adhesive that's maybe kind of gross. Has anyone ever died of like... No. Yes, once. What?
Don't do the adhesive.
Alexander's wife.
Yeah.
It's a movie or something.
Is this a choice, Danny?
Actually, it kind of is because this is like...
Do you have so far?
What's that ice pop thing?
What is that?
You got...
I just like meat.
I honestly kind of fucked myself by bringing the chicken.
It does seem to be that way.
Why is it so many colors?
Take it.
Yeah, I don't like that. It looks like a
gas station puddle.
Be a good guy.
It is chicken, because then
overall...
Be a good guy.
It's like the obstacle. You said that was great?
Yeah. Here's the thing. Content's always
first. Is it better
content? Have Luke
have ginger ale monster and gizzard.
He could be all liquid.
You could be all meat, too.
It could be like.
I would like to see Luke have like a liquid omelet.
Yeah.
So that would leave him with all liquids.
He would have to drink it.
That would be a big move for you content wise.
It would make him look better to the eyes of the audience and maybe us, too.
Or do we like the strategy?
Look at that guess.
She acted like, locals only, huh, brother?
Oh, this is tough.
An absolute dog.
Hey, I'm so torn.
You have to make a decision.
Just do the right thing.
Five, four, three, two, one.
I mean, I'll call it Popsicle.
Popsicle.
Oh, okay, Popsicle.
So, give it for the guy.
So, take your stuff out there.
I don't know what Owen's doing because, see, the whole point was he wasn't supposed to see.
I'll just tell him to go.
I don't think he can see now.
And they're standing right there.
He's good.
No.
Maybe he'll leave now.
And then Chef Donnie's gonna cook it up
That's right
And then he'll come back in
That's right
Alright so bring that stuff out there
And cook with Chef Donnie
Have you guys interacted with Chef Donnie at all?
Yes actually
Dickhead
Okay
Douche
Douchebag
I'm a total diva
Make sure you
He reminds me of Trent
He's almost a worse Trent
He's a worse Trent.
No, there's no such thing.
We're all going out there right now.
All you're going out there cooking it and then bringing it back in plated for us.
What is Sass doing?
I have no idea.
He can swap with me.
He's right there.
They're just going to bring their food back in.
That part is done.
That went well.
Yeah.
Very impressed.
Thoughts?
Because we have to eliminate somebody at the end of this show.
This is tough.
It is.
It's getting more and more difficult.
It really is, but I do feel that these are the best four.
No mistakes have been made.
Maybe the order of which people went home, we're not shocked.
There's one person who's had an insanely volatile votes in my brain.
It's gone, like, day to day has just been all over the place.
One of us?
No, one of them.
Oh.
One of them I have had stock. The stock market has just been going up and down, of us no one of them oh um one of them i have had stock the stock
market's just been going up and down up and down up and down yeah and i don't know where they're
gonna land if it's gonna land on up or down one uh ascended high for me same but it was interesting
um i respect all the guys that helped us yesterday. And all of their orders were vastly different.
Yeah, they were.
Which is nuts.
That was the thing.
I went through it.
Depending on how you rank and look at the metrics and the value, it can be any order.
Yeah.
And there's also a difficult part of this where it sucks to say, but there is part of me that is judging it from a business side, too.
You have to. but there is part of me that is judging it from a business side too. Who of these contestants has the ability to make Barstool the most money?
That absolutely is my person.
Who's the best fit?
Who has the best star power?
Highest floor, lowest ceiling.
I'm thinking largest void.
Oh.
You're drafting for need.
You're drafting for need.
I'm a Steeler fan. You're not going – No, no, Steeler fan is best available. Yeah, best available. You're going drafting for need You're drafting for need I'm a Steeler fan
You're not going
No no Steeler fan is best available
Yeah best available
You're going drafting for need
Yeah
Huh
Interesting
I mean yeah
It's dependent on how you look at it
Oh here come the omelets
They're getting made
There's the paper
We probably shouldn't make Caroline eat that
She's very lawsuit-y with that hazing comment
The what?
The hazing comment
Yeah it did feel that way, didn't it?
Yeah.
To speak to the variety,
it was shown publicly who voted for who,
the people that did the shows yesterday.
It was John Rich, I believe,
who was top two for three people
and bottom two for three people.
So it's really all over the map.
Yeah, but I think he did better on the thinking ones
more than the personability ones.
Yeah.
Which is what we've known.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Interesting stuff.
Here come the omelets.
Can we put up a poll in chat?
Oh, there it is.
That's the envelope.
It's like a mache.
Yeah.
I think the poll.
Well, you can put up the poll.
It doesn't mean shit.
I think the Yak chat is heavy John Rich, which I don't blame him.
He was born out of the Yak.
Yeah.
That'd be.
Right?
He was, yes.
Are you guys comfortable saying who you guys felt did the best today so far?
Or I guess it's on over.
Should we say that yet?
We can say that when we've.
I will tell my person that's been fluctuating is Luke.
On the stream last night, he was a little bit tankish.
Ooh, really?
How so?
Screaming.
He was?
Yeah.
Wait, when did this happen?
In what?
We were there.
I left soon after you.
He's not a hockey fan, but I think he was...
Did you view that positively or negatively?
What do you think?
You're talking about he's, like,
tank? I think he was just, he was trying to, you know, everything
is a stage for these guys. It's a competition.
So he was trying to make himself known, but he wasn't
a hockey fan. So he didn't know much about hockey,
so he replaced it with volume.
Yeah, gotcha.
Tasty tubes.
Yeah, but look at the bag on those.
Look at the branding on that.
What is that?
No, no, run, flip it around.
It says, yeah, not healthy.
What's that mean?
They're trying to get you.
It's like a double get.
Yeah.
Because usually the tube chips are healthy.
But they're like, no, it's not.
No chips are healthy.
What?
No chips are healthy. Oh, you're the worst No chips are healthy. What? No chips are healthy.
Oh, you're the worst.
Chipmunk?
It said no chips are healthy.
Yeah, I mean, I like that they're just being honest.
No chips are healthy.
I used to think sun chips were healthy, but they're not.
No, that's not true.
I kind of want some of their omelets.
A little bite.
I feel like a little bite might be nice.
He pre-cooked the pizza dough.
I'm chilling.
Yeah, that was nice of him.
Wait, who took the pizza dough? He pre-cooked the pizza dough. I'm chilling. Yeah, that was nice of him. Wait, who took the pizza dough?
He pre-cooked the pizza dough, and he also pre-boiled the gizzards,
because those take 20 minutes.
Oh, so those were show gizzards.
Interesting, because then John Rich picked the pizza dough first.
Did he?
No, who took the pizza dough?
John Rich?
No.
Caroline.
Caroline.
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
That would have been fucky.
That would have been fucky as fucky. That could have been a little bit fucky,
but it's not that fucky.
There goes Owen. Owen's coming back in.
He's not going to look.
You're not looking? Okay, great.
Then we're all going to vote. As soon as this is done,
we'll wrap up the act because we're going to have a quick voting.
Gaz has been in the office.
Have you talked to him, who his favorite is?
I've had conversations with him.
Yeah, see, like, I don't, you know,
I kind of figured that John Rich would be the Yak's favorite
just because he was born of the Yak.
Yeah, but it's closer than I thought it would be.
Yeah, it is a little closer than I thought it would be.
Who will win what, though?
Look, this is exactly how I'm feeling.
This is negligible difference, really.
It's good to see that it's this close because that means we have good contestants.
Yeah, everybody's kind of, those are hard to chug from.
You can't chug those.
At that level.
You hear that shit?
You hear me yug it?
The mouthpiece of it is tough.
You're practicing for next.
Yeah, wait, what are we going to do now that we know that the studio, what's our deal, TJ?
Are we not going to be able to do the case race Wednesday?
Keegs does her show
from 7-8 on Wednesday.
Here? It's in her room but
it's produced from where I'm sitting.
Fuck! We can't produce it from the control room?
Here's the only place I can do calls. TGA wants
to talk to you guys. Oh no!
Oh no!
I like Kelly though.
There's a chance they have pre-recorded some episodes. There's a chance like they have
pre-recorded some episodes
there's a chance
that they could do that
that might be a
you and Keegs conversation
but the control room was
yeah I mean
how do we grease the wheels
how can we grease the wheels
with Keegs
control room was not happy
you said
you think Shane would fuck her
until it was just said
live on the air
oh he's got a girlfriend
shit
they would like to know
updates as they
become things
wait
let's have her host the Yak
one day next week?
Bro, the control room's getting pissy, dude.
I just don't have time
for that, dude.
Why don't we...
Why don't we just pre-tape
our Wednesday Yak
so it airs 1-2
and then we tape the case race during the day.
Because we have Brandon's show at 5.
Yeah.
And also getting that drunk in the middle of the day would be chaotic.
And then we have four hours, 1 to 5.
I kind of like that we have this place to ourselves.
I think that we should really grease the wheels with Kelly.
I'll have a talk.
I'll make her an offer she can't refuse.
Yes, dude.
Buy her something nice.
Dude, how much is a Birkin bag?
An envelope omelet.
That was a question.
How could she turn that down?
That looks good.
That looks like a frittata.
It looks like it is.
Yeah, the envelope's
cooked in there.
What's a souffle?
Don't ask those type of questions.
I'm asking Roan.
If you ask,
you can't afford it.
Yeah, you're probably right.
I can't afford an
egg dish. Oh no, there's no
integrity, which might be a chef problem.
No, no, no. Falling apart.
Where did everyone
else go? They just left? I think so.
I think so. I don't know why
there was a mass exodus.
It was unspoken.
He's putting it onto the bread.
Oh, Donnie with a little creative freedom.
Mmm.
KB?
I don't know.
Honestly, I wanted the bread to be in it.
You just want a shit game?
I wanted the bread to be in the comment.
Shit game?
Okay.
You sit down to piss, though, like our boy?
A lot, actually.
I do in the mornings.
Just in case poop falls out?
Yeah, I left it from the middle of the night.
Look at that.
Boom.
That looks good, dude.
That looks really good.
Are we basing who gets the poop off taste?
Just the taste of their omelet?
Actually, yeah, fuck it.
Yeah, 100%.
Decision's too hard.
We need something finite that we can, something as objective as taste.
Can Shane and Will
do Tuesday?
No. That's probably... Yeah, I don't want to do that.
I'm taking
in Nick Tuesday.
Nick Nicotine?
It's your birthday.
I don't want to celebrate my birthday.
We're doing a case race for your birthday, buddy.
Unless we get to 100k beforehand, then my birthday's cancelled.
Deal. Deal.
Come on, boys. That means you're dead yeah we kill you live on air i mean that's next up really the trajectory this is going oh can we see this real quick this is the this is a liquid
omelet with the gizzards oh my god it's gonna be like i don't know it's gonna be so runny
although the gizzards might soak it up a little.
If he's marinating the gizzard in the liquid,
Donnie's going to do a good job of making this taste good.
These aren't terrible.
No, those look all right.
Everyone should actually, let's send our votes to Steven
so he can start tabulating if you guys are ready.
Might as well.
I wanted to base mine off taste.
I know mine.
I'm going to send mine.
We're not going to take their eating into? No, I just want to mine off taste. I know mine. I'm going to send mine. We're not going to take their eating into...
No, I just want to see them draft.
Is Brandon excluded?
Is it just...
No, it's everyone.
Okay.
Yeah, get Brandon's vote.
Get Owen's vote, Sass' vote.
So if you want to...
What?
You already didn't hear.
Yeah, and then we're...
And if you have your vote done, you can send it to Steven.
I don't know if you want to wait.
I have my vote done.
So we're doing the same thing, one through four,
and then the person with the most points is out.
You've got to know it.
It's electric.
Woogie, woogie, woogie, woogie.
No wrinkles?
Look at the wrist.
It's going.
So it's just sautéed.
Oh, he's sautéing it in?
I wanted to see it poured on the egg.
This is definitely way better.
What if you discover something?
Ginger ale, you can cook stuff down with ginger ale.
People do that with all types of meats.
That's right, and ginger is a common spice.
So is Monster.
Well, Monster, I think, is just for the energy.
You wake up tired.
It's a breakfast food.
You have the taurine, the guanine.
How much money do you think I have to spend on Kelly Keegs to get this done?
Probably $9,000 to $10,000.
$9,000 to $10,000?
And I think that... Get what? I'm going to try to get this done? Probably $9,000 to $10,000. $9,000 to $10,000? And I think that...
Get what?
I'm going to try to get her to do a prerecorded show.
A Gucci bag is like...
A good Gucci bag you could probably get for like $3,000.
Okay, it's going to cost me.
It's the cost to be the boss.
Is Shane Gillis rich yet?
Yeah.
Recently.
So maybe he should have to do it.
Have to buy her a bag?
If you want to come on our show.
Yeah, me and Shane and Will.
See who spends?
Yeah, who has the best surprise.
Honestly, throw me on there.
Yeah, okay, bro.
Here's the empanadas.
All right, that looks all right.
Fuck, I want to try all this.
Don't say who's in what.
Don't say who's in what.
Because Owen's in here.
Yeah, shit.
Oh, yeah. It's been a minute. Yeah, shit. Oh, yeah.
It's been a minute.
Yeah, you kind of...
We kind of...
Whatever, dude.
Whatever.
Let's just vote.
Eat and vote.
Do we send the vote?
I send mine to Steven.
I'm done.
Okay.
Huh?
Okay, okay, okay.
It's asked to.
Do you think there's going to be a twist?
Probably not. Who's to say. Do you think there's going to be a twist? Probably not.
Who's to say?
You?
Us?
Us?
I guess it's us, yeah.
One of my favorite parts that I will not miss about Idol Week
is the twist that KB's like, who decided this?
It's like all of us together in a meeting.
Yeah.
You're just a different cat.
Yeah, my mind races. I think you've done a great job as a judge? Yeah. You're just a different cat. Yeah, my mind races.
I think you've done a great job as a judge this week, KB.
That's a very good question.
I appreciate that.
I've been cunty.
It's not my quality.
I'm not qualified to judge on talent.
I think you've asked really good questions that I haven't thought of.
I'm just really occupying my mind way more than I ever expected.
I was thinking about it last night as I was up late.
People are judging us more than they're judging them.
So after I had my—
There's no right answer.
Everyone has a—
Yeah, after I got mad at the people on Tuesday about saying I rigged it for Nadeau,
I've had kind of an awakening of like I remember all the idols have been the same thing.
People complaining, this idol season sucks.
These people suck.
Everything sucks.
I think this has been a very well-run week, and I think we have four good contestants.
So I'm blocking out the haters.
There we go.
You don't have haters.
You don't have fans.
That's going to be buttery.
That's almost as much butter as it is empanada.
Mammy.
Yeah, and...
Oh, dude, do you see how he threw it down?
My boy's a chef-chef.
Okay, get this sneeze out with the blindfold on.
You want me to pull your nose hair?
Does that work?
For me, it does.
Owen, you haven't sneezed in a while.
Bro, we've been waiting for you to sneeze.
At least in front of me.
Yeah, he sneezes cute. He sneezes
like when a koala sneezes.
If you've seen that.
Are they going to be good?
I actually think two of these
are going to be very good.
I think they're all going to be better
than anything we've ever had.
I'll admit,
I've seen a hot dog and I've seen
a Monster Energy. No!'ve seen a Monster Energy.
No.
I bought the Monster Energy.
Yeah, me and Owen were buying ingredients together.
I forgot about that.
Yeah.
These actually look good.
I want to try them too, Owen.
So you'll go blind. Did you get everyone's vote?
I'll do them.
Nick and Owen, some of yours.
And then we have everyone's?
Yeah.
All right, then you want to send it back to me?
That's good integrity on that one.
Look at the structure on that one. That shit dope that does look good omelets overrated in my
opinion i think they're underrated i think this is the best egg oh embrace the bait i don't like
thick egg i like my eggs to be as runny and thin as possible i think that the amount of effort
which is pretty low to the how high quality and how good tasting it can wind up being which is
pretty high,
is one of the widest disparities in food,
especially in egg.
You see what I'm saying?
Opinions.
We're going to get shot down for anything we say.
I know, but that's why we have to cover all of our bases.
We should do an opinionless show.
I'm tired of opinions.
Read fast.
That's an opinion.
That's an opinion right there is your problem.
No, I'm objectively tired of them.
You haven't given us an opinion in a while.
What was the one that you gave that threw the whole show in a...
Yeah, you ruined it.
You gave us one that was...
What was it?
I did.
I forget.
Don't think of it.
John Rich probably knows.
John Rich knows.
What was it?
If he knows.
Shit.
Should we just ask John Rich?
Honestly, yeah.
I'll go ask him.
That'd be big for him.
What was the opinion?
Because I remember it. It was like we sat down John Ritz? Honestly, yeah. I'll go ask him. That'd be big for him. What was the opinion? Because I remember it.
It was like we sat down and KB was like, I fucking hate opinions.
I hate people who say this.
And it was like the whole show just went sideways in a good way.
Steve, I'm changing my vote again.
I just say shit.
I don't even know.
I know.
I know.
It was a good way.
I can't remember it, though.
It's going to drive me nuts.
I need our blindfolded boy
he's not wearing a headset
oh and you need to send in your vote
yeah Nick can you hand me your phone
1 through 4
I just changed my vote
I'm sorry
I was just thinking back
4 is
typically
typically you know 4th place was always safe yeah yeah it's changed um
please subscribe to the yak if you're watching right now and you have not subscribed i would
implore you to subscribe we have a big week next week we have hot chip with nick we have
yeah case race going to be a day.
We're always doing shit.
Yeah.
Always doing shit.
Been doing a gang of shit.
Been doing shit all the time.
I wish Luke never brought in these fucking donuts, dude.
Eating them.
I'm eating a lot of them.
I got no self-control.
I respect the fuck out of Luke just bringing food he likes.
Oh.
What do you got?
John Rich didn't know?
Chocolate chip cookies.
And someone, I'm going to look in the chat.
Did anyone know what the opinion that he had?
This is going to drive me nuts, guys.
You know I don't do well.
I'm rich, so he doesn't know, but he's going to think about it.
This was like a few months ago.
Yeah, you know what?
You know this is going to bother me.
I'm the recent.
This is going to bother me.
It's not weight class.
It's not divisions.
Everyone agrees with me on that.
Look at Donnie with the technique.
French technique.
Do you have everyone's?
Or sass?
He was feeling sick, he's at the store
Okay
I'm changing my vote
Yeah, it's like that
It is like that right now
I feel like looking at everybody else's content
I'm not changing my vote
It is like that
I changed mine
I'm done now my vote. It is like that. I changed mine.
I'm done now.
Are we final?
No.
I'm done.
I've submitted my vote.
I'm not changing it.
Is everyone done?
We got some changes.
Are we good?
I'm done.
Movies or oranges?
Oh, oranges suck.
Was that it? was That was it
Massively agreed on
Nobody gave me a good example
Oranges suck as an ingredient
Someone sent me a
You said it as a flavor
Thank you Chad
Not a flavor
I like the flavor
Favorite flavor of Gatorade
Well
Mount Rushmore
See
No the cream pie was a great move
Cream pie was a pick
That will always be in my brain That was my That was universally agreed upon I like the cream pie was a great move Cream pie was a pick that will always be in my brain
That was universally agreed upon
I like the cream pie picks so much
I watch one every night
I hate watching them
Oh, I love
You get the cream
I hate cum
That's true
You have an aversion to cum
It's more of the pie
You like it to remain a Twinkie
Yeah
KB wants all cum to stay in its balls.
Well, I mean, the cum gets a mind of its own.
It's the inmates escaping from the asylum.
That's what I call my balls, actually.
The asylum.
It's his nightly eject.
How are they feeling, you think?
Also, tune in tonight.
The rundown will be with the three remaining contestants.
That's awesome. So that will be a good way to judge them as well
And then 7 o'clock
We are doing the
Final elimination ceremony
To decide who wins
Arsenal Idol presented by the Yak
Who are the Bulls going to draft?
Dude I don't know
I hope that I would love if
Mark Williams was still there
Derek Rose as well Is that Red Bull's sass? I don't know. I hope that I would love if Mark Williams was still there.
Derrick Rose as well.
Yeah.
Is that Rebel Assassin? I kind of really liked Mark.
As much as I hate Duke.
Danny's?
I don't know.
I thought Mark Williams was awesome down the stretch.
And he's like one of those guys that if he can get a little more of a shot,
he seems like an NBA type of big where he's long and can guard multiple positions.
What are they going to do with Levine, though?
I don't know.
He's probably going to go to fucking L.A.
Although he can get – I like how the NBA is set up where like –
You can stay and get more.
You can stay, but yeah, like players can do whatever they want,
but if they want to stay with the franchise that they're never going to win anything with,
they get like $300 million more.
That's insane. Yes.
So it basically makes it...
It's basically set up that everyone stays
and then demands a trade.
That's just how it works. They go way better.
Or they just get leverage. Everyone
opts in, gets all the money,
and then two years later says, I want out.
What is that? Is that the cake mix?
Wait, don't say it. Don't say it.
Don't say it. No, he is blindfolded.
What?
What? Yeah, thank you, thank you, thank you.
You won't know which one.
Ew, what the fuck? Oh, what is that?
Oh, I guess that's a main ingredient of an omelet.
Oh, he's adding... Not necessarily.
Let him work.
Interesting. He's had all of his own...
I've just seen the votes and it's very interesting. Wet votes. let him work interesting he's had all of his own I guess
I've just seen the votes
and it's
very interesting
wet votes
okay well this
this is okay
wait a minute
we didn't get the votes
I had Stephen Chase
send it to me
so I can announce it
you guys want it as well
or do you want me to announce it
no I'd rather you announce it
you can announce it
I like suspense
I'm gonna go you sound like you're disagreeing don't get yeah you go pee don't get that don't bring them in or do you want me to announce it? No, I'd rather you announce it. I like suspense.
You sound like you're disagreeing.
Don't get, yeah, you go pee.
Don't bring them in.
I don't want them to find out until Owen's even come in.
Okay, wow, wow.
Okay, so we'll, all right.
Nobody had the same.
This is actually great, though.
Yeah, I agree.
It's great for the twist.
Yes.
The twist now is even better.
Well, well.
No, it is.
It is.
Did anybody vote?
Is anybody's vote how it wound up shaking out?
And if so, whose?
Definitely not mine.
Good question.
Let me see.
Thank you, brother.
All right, let's do these omelets. Let's end the show. Good looks. Two me see. Thank you, brother. All right, let's do these omelets.
Let's end the show.
Good looks.
Two-hour show.
Ew.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Ew.
All right, Donnie, why don't we have them start eating it?
Yeah, let's get them.
You know what?
And also, should we make them eat it?
Because I don't want...
They should take a bite.
They should take a bite.
Yeah, they should take a bite.
Yeah, they have to eat it.
They should eat half. I'll cover the lawsuit bite. Yeah, they should take a bite. Yeah, they have to eat it. They should eat half.
I'll cover the lawsuit.
Okay, there we go.
I covered the Little Tay Idlewild Park thing.
That's true.
How much did I run you?
A paycheck.
Three people had matching votes.
Interesting.
Who?
Exactly.
Who?
Yes.
Who?
Wow. Say who.. Who? Yes. Who? Wow.
Say who.
You can say who.
Well, then does that kill the suspense if I say who?
No, because no one else will know.
We don't know what their votes are.
The judges will know.
But that one doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter that much for us as long as we don't fucking run our dumb mouths.
Brandon, KB, and Owen.
Wow.
The brain trust.
Baby boy.
The absolute brain trust. Baby boy. The absolute brain trust.
What a diverse ages, demographics.
Look at Max holding his camera angle, dude.
Max is just locked in.
He is.
All right.
Should we do it?
We good?
All right, let's go.
Let's get him in.
Get Brandon back in here.
Were they watching?
No.
So, get your omelet, but don't say it's your omelet.
This is going to be fucking electric, bro.
Oh, yeah.
Subscribe, subscribe, subscribe.
Old school Barstool shit, dude.
Yeah, YouTube.
I am eating this.
I'm going to take a bite of these omelets, too.
Okay, so don't say who you are and don't say what your omelet is.
You're just going to give Owen a bite.
Okay, so this is omelet one.
So, again, I'll wait until everyone's here.
Let's see if we can get a fork for Owen.
Yeah.
All right, so everyone, can you guys hear me?
Don't say who you are
and don't say what's in your omelet. You're just going to
walk up and give Owen a bite.
He's going to just say which one's your best.
Are they feeding the baby boy?
Baby bird, the baby boy?
It's the thickest pie bowl.
Alright, here we go.
Omelet one.
Fate of your jobs Potentially
In the hands of Rodan
Omelette one
That's a big piece
You know the baby boy's down for the cause
Okay
How hot is it?
I want to burn the boy's tongue
Luke Ward's best feature.
Somebody tell me where the fork is.
Hang on.
Just sit tight.
He'll put it in your mouth.
She or he.
And you certainly won't eat it alone, Owen.
Okay.
Oh, whoa.
Your hand's shaking.
He is nervous.
Whoa.
He's either nervous or.
Oh, and he's taking his bite.
All right, now take your omelet away.
That was Michael J. Fox feeding you.
Take your omelet away.
Oh, is Owen shaking?
Dude, is it that bad?
What do you think?
Oh, boy.
It might be that bad.
Yeah.
And then rank it on the balls.
Oh.
All right.
That's fine.
All right, that's fine.
All right, rank it one through five on the ball scale.
Maybe not as big of a piece.
Two, four.
Two, four.
All right.
Here comes Omelette Two down the hatch like an airplane.
Give that more of a three, six.
Yikes.
Okay.
Here it is.
Oh.
Big bite.
Too big bite.
Take half of that.
I would have.
No, no.
He's fine.
He's fine.
Yeah.
He's a big boy.
I would have ordered it. Open. Open wider. Wider. That would have. No, no, he's fine. He's fine. He's a big boy. I would have ordered it.
Open.
Open wider.
Wider.
That's bad.
Put it in.
That's fine.
Yep.
That's good.
Yep.
Oh.
Oh.
Bad.
Oh.
Bad.
Good.
Good?
Bad?
That's pretty good.
Okay.
Oh, pretty good.
All right.
What are you writing?
Oh.
Oh.
Wait.
Yeah.
That might be some envelope.
I'll tell you that ingredient.
I wouldn't pick that one out.
He picked the envelope out of his mouth.
That looks like a ciabatta sandwich.
What is this?
Okay.
The sealant is saltier than I thought it would be.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It actually is a salty egg.
Okay.
Dude, that's so good.
What do you rank that?
What do you rank that?
That was delicious.
Four, two.
Four, two.
Okay. And go ahead. Four, two. Okay.
And go ahead.
Omelette three.
John Rich is just eating his.
Yeah.
All right.
Go ahead.
Put it in there.
Right in his mouth.
Here comes omelette three.
Omelette three.
Almost there, buddy.
Okay.
You guys can dive in. Oh oh no oh no so two four four three not bad not
bad it took me a second it's goat cheese it's fantastic okay what's that rank wait i don't
think it's goat cheese actually i wasn't i wasn't one of the things. Oh, maybe it was.
Two.
Okay, two, and then here's the last one.
It was goat cheese.
Is it goat cheese?
Okay.
Well, I got to get this one down.
And he's eating it.
Oh, he just dropped some.
Okay, here comes the fourth omelet.
Owen, you are the best for doing this.
No, because none of them are bad.
Really?
Not one of them has tasted bad. I actually think, yeah, okay.
Maybe the egg is...
Egg helps.
Donnie is just an absolute master chef.
He really is.
I mean, Donnie's still standing behind.
You ready?
What a douchebag.
What a douchebag.
Here we go.
Hands behind his back.
Omelet.
Uh-oh.
And Luke, why don't you bring that over here?
Yep.
And this is omelette four.
Okay. I didn't get any
egg, I don't think.
Yeah, there was egg in there. What is this?
That's egg.
Wait a minute. That's gizzard.
I got some of the fat
I think
Okay
That was probably the worst one
Oh okay
So worst one
So
Caroline had the best
John Rich had the second best
Danny third
Luke four
Good job guys
Owen
No good job to Owen
And boys and girls
Yes thank you
Thank you
Yeah how are they
I'm thoroughly enjoying it.
Okay, almost all gone for John.
Okay, so.
Oh, yeah, that one wasn't bad to me.
Here's what we've got.
We have the votes.
Yeah, you might want to maybe, like, put the food down.
I don't know where you want to stand.
Where's the best way to stand?
Whatever your comfort position is.
Where's their best place to stand?
Nobody wants to try the other omelettes.
They're good.
I thought that they were good.
Not now if I don't have an appetite.
Yeah, why don't you guys just huddle in that corner?
That's perfect.
Some omelet omelet.
All right, so here's the votes.
We have told you we're going to eliminate one person right now,
and there's going to be three finalists.
So let's just go with the first and second person.
Number one, with an aggregate score of 1.86.
Caroline, you're in the finals.
Wow.
Congratulations.
I am.
In a roller coaster.
Number two, with a score of 2. Congratulations. I am. In a roller coaster. Number two.
The score of 2.14.
John Rich, you're in the finals.
Holy fuck.
If you guys want to go leave, and we'll leave Danny and Luke in here.
Go leave and finish your omelets?
So, here's the craziest part.
There was a twist.
There was a twist.
What was that door?
And here was the twist.
This was decided last night.
Twist was that we wanted all you guys to feel like you were going to get eliminated at 1 o'clock today.
But we weren't going to eliminate anyone.
We were going to advance all four to the finals.
But here's the extra twist.
Luke and Danny actually tied with an exact score of 3.0.
No.
I know that.
So it's actually like we already had that twist and now I feel even better
because it would have sucked
to eliminate someone
on like a stupid tiebreaker.
But the extra twist is
the loser was going to have
to present first tonight
which is a clear disadvantage
and then also not be
on the rundown.
So everyone's going to
go to the finals.
There's going to be
four people tonight
in the finals
but the loser is going
to have to present first,
clear disadvantage, and not be on the
rundown. Which is more of a disadvantage.
Which is more of a disadvantage because it's another data point
that you do not have. So,
because you guys are tied,
do you both agree we can either
do a re-vote between the two of you,
or we can use
the wheel? I think,
what about doing the most last place votes? We could do that, or we could use the wheel. We could use the wheel. I think what about doing the most last place votes?
We could do that or we could use the wheel.
We could use the wheel.
That's a beautiful wheel.
What do you guys think?
It's you guys decide.
The power is in your...
You guys decide.
Do you want us to re-vote or count the last votes or do you want to go to the wheel?
I feel like that wheel...
Whoever loses has to present first and will not be on the rundown tonight.
I feel that the wheel might be a little more biased towards Luke right now.
I can't believe they tied.
I can't believe they tied.
I didn't know that.
Talk in the mic.
So, yes, if you lose, you will present first,
and you won't be able to be on the rundown today.
We could re-vote.
We could re-vote.
Or we could go by last place votes.
Or we could do the wheel.
I think we've got to go wheel.
That's my vote.
But I'm not.
It's their choice.
You two decide.
You two decide.
Again, you both are in the finals.
It's crazy that it worked out this way that you tied because I'm very happy that we don't have to break a tie right now.
I wanted everyone to feel the pressure of being eliminated but also get to present tonight.
And we also realized last night, in full
disclosure, we were sitting around doing our meeting
after the thing and we're like, are we really going to
eliminate someone off of an egg draft?
And we're like, that's stupid. Let's let them all
present their final presentation.
So, what do you guys want to do?
If we do the wheel,
then it decides
someone goes first and no one goes on the rundown.
But if not, do we talk?
If not, then we'll have to re-vote.
We'll re-vote.
Thank you, TJ.
We will rank you one and two.
I feel like that wheel might be a little biased towards getting on something.
Whatever they want to do.
Luke, what are you feeling?
This is the nature of the show.
I mean, like...
This is essentially a coin flip
if you don't believe that it's sentient.
Like, I think you guys should pick
who should go on the rundown.
I don't know.
Okay, so then we'll re-vote.
All right, that's fine.
We'll re-vote.
You guys are the judges at the end.
Yeah, yeah, all right, all right.
So, leave the room and we'll re-vote right now.
And we'll bring you back in. I mean, the judges at that point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, all right. So leave the room and we'll re-vote right now. And we'll bring it
back in.
I mean, he didn't
speak up.
Or we can just use
who we had.
Yeah, you can count
that, count that.
Who had the last,
the most...
Just re-vote it to
make it easier.
So it runs.
All right.
Tell us, I'm telling
you.
This arm is good as
fuck.
Yeah, tell us who
had the most last
place votes.
Luke had the most
last place votes.
Okay, so Luke will
be off the rundown and he will be the first presenter.
Correct.
Okay.
If that's where we're going, yeah.
Did Luke have some first place votes or what?
He did.
Whoa.
Who had him in first?
The scoring is all over the map.
Who had him in first?
Do you want me to say that right now?
Oh, did I?
I did, I think.
Really?
Yeah, I did.
Nick and Big Cat.
I did.
Wait, he had two first place votes and came in last?
Well, he had a lot of last place votes.
I'm telling you, everyone.
All right, so bring him back in.
That's the decision.
Then we can talk about our votes and what we're thinking going into the final.
This is great for the competition.
I actually think that's good, too, because I think Luke will do good on the rundown.
I think I'd like to see Danny on the rundown.
You're right.
Okay,'re right.
Okay, all right.
So, yeah, bring him back in.
All right, so we did it based on who had the most last place votes is going to be off the rundown and has to present first,
and that is Luke.
Luke, you will be presenting first, and you will not be on the rundown.
So, Danny, you're on the rundown, and you will be presenting first and you will not be on the rundown. So Danny, you're on the rundown and you will be presenting second.
So it's going to go tonight.
Luke, Danny, John, Rich, Caroline, in order of votes.
I think that's fair.
Yes.
Okay.
All right.
You're dismissed.
We'll see you guys tonight at seven o'clock.
Luke, you'll be up first.
So get yourself ready.
Danny, you'll be on the rundown.
I think you guys got to go to decide the topics and tape it right now.
Okay.
All right.
Thank you.
Who's hosting the rundown? It should be Caroline, right? to decide the topics and tape it right now. Okay. Alright, thank you. Who's hosting the rundown?
It should be Caroline, right?
Because she was the number one vote getter. Probably.
Alright, so Caroline will host and then
you two will sit in the chairs. Alright.
See you tonight. Thank you.
Wow. Very nice.
How crazy is it they tied?
Yeah, I didn't even know. Because we were, like I said,
and maybe I didn't explain it well,
but we did last night. We were sitting here and we were talking about today and we're like,
are we really going to take someone, eliminate someone off an egg draft?
That seems stupid.
Let's see their final presentations.
So the twist was all four of them advanced,
and the fact that they tied makes it even better
because I wouldn't want to eliminate a tie
without seeing the final presentation.
So do you want to talk about our votes real quick?
I think Luke was first for a couple of us and last for like three or four of us.
He was first for me and Nick.
I had Luke first, John Rich two, Danny three.
Caroline is the one I was saying that has gone just like Monday.
She was actually Monday.
She was fine.
Tuesday.
She was terrible to me.
Wednesday.
She shot right back up and I didn't think she was the strongest on the yak today.
I did.
You did?
I love this.
This is great.
I think she was the most yak-esque.
Yeah, okay.
She riffed.
Maybe not the funniest, but that's what I thought.
Yeah, I agree.
I had her in first place, too.
Oh, wow.
I mean, this is great.
This is great that we disagree.
It was very close.
Yeah, and I think they're all very strong competitors, two oh wow i mean this is great this is great that we disagree it was very close to yeah and
i think they're all very strong competitors so it will be great that we get to see their
presentations tonight and do a final vote i had john rich's first really yeah i liked his story
okay yeah that was a good story i i i bumped him up to two i think it shows that he's got a lot of
hustle yeah i like that or that's where my issue lied with lou that's exactly what happened to me
it was the issue all along.
I think he may be the most likable and even entertaining and funniest,
but the ambition and the drive, I don't know.
I don't think he has the highest ceiling in comparison to the other contestants at this point.
Annie, I think she had a disadvantage.
Everyone else had a familiar a familiar Like Talking point
New York City sports
Something similar
Homelessness
Coming in your own mouth
She was the least
She had nothing really
In common with us
We basically just interviewed her
But I also don't think
That that was necessarily bad
Because I see her content
Fit in Barstool
Being more in the vein of like
Mean girls or chicks in the office
Right
Who aren't necessarily
In the mix But can do their own thing In their own like silo I had Danny at second more in the vein of like uh mean girls or chicks in the office who aren't necessarily uh in the
mix but can do their own thing in their own like silo i had danny at second so did i i thought i
like danny today she so to me uh like i said caroline kind of dropped today luke i had luke
high yesterday i think he's done well like i i don't know i think something about him obviously
people like oh it's because he's fat i just like his accent i think he would be good interviewing people john rich has been pretty much the most consistent to me like he
has not very he's never been my number one but he's also never been my last vote yeah he's the
only one that didn't get a last place yeah he's he's been the most steady to me um yeah and and i
going into today i had danny as a clear four and i thought she was good on the yak steve what do
you what data do you have?
I mean,
do you guys want to know everyone's votes?
Nick, what do you think?
Sure.
I'm taking it all in.
I respect everybody's opinion.
So I did. I changed my vote
twice. Three times.
You finicky bastard.
Luke. And then I had Caroline. I liked that finicky bastard. Luke.
And then I had Caroline.
I liked that she was jabbing back.
I liked that she.
That's what I liked, yeah.
I don't know.
See, I was so, I was flipping these middle two.
I have John as three and I had Danny as fourth.
I just thought it was a pretty cookie cutter.
Yeah.
She's not nervous, but it was very standard.
Yeah.
Have somebody on here and it just,
no stories.
It was just kind of a...
Run of the mill interview.
Yeah.
Just going down bullet points.
Yeah.
John,
like I said,
I like him a lot
and I think he's
maybe the funniest,
but sometimes it doesn't convey
with how...
I don't know if it's nerves or...
I think it is.
I think it's nerves.
He was trembling.
Yeah, he was shaking a lot.
I mean...
Is this the competition?
This is what it is.
You can't judge on a prediction
you have for someone
because you don't know
if it's going to go through or not.
Right.
That's what I think it kind of
comes down to with Luke a little bit.
It's like all this stuff he could do,
but the other contestants have shown they've made the videos.
They've done it.
Luke, it's all like, oh, I think he could do this.
Steven, you didn't know we're on the air right now?
No.
Yeah, we're still on the air.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Why?
Would you say something that you shouldn't have?
No, no, no, no, no.
I didn't realize that.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Yeah, yeah.
We're giving people an inside view.
I like that we discussed the voting afterwards and let everyone know where we're thinking going in i'm going to say this i think that all four competitors are strong
tonight my vote will be very strongly weighed on the presentation because it's as it's as open-ended
as it can be they can incorporate videos ideas everything and they've been working on it all week and they've
been working all week so like tonight will really be for me like the deciding factor i think i will
say that's where i'm worried about luke that's yeah when that's yeah he can prove me wrong here
about his drug and he has to go first which is not easy because just like general bias the last
thing you see is always going to be a little bit more memorable. I'm voting based on their entire body of work.
I am too, but I'm saying they're so close that it will probably come down to if someone can really step up on the presentation, that will probably take them over the top to me.
Yes.
And we'll obviously watch the rundown as well and see how that goes.
Yes.
I'm glad Luke isn't on the rundown. Yeah. I think we know what we get with him. We know he would be good. He would isn't on the rundown.
Yeah.
Because I think we know what we get with him.
We know he would be good.
He would be great on the rundown.
Yeah.
We only have two of those chairs left.
I would like to see if Danny can separate herself on the rundown.
Yeah, it's big.
Steven, what did Brandon vote?
Brandon.
Me, Owen, and Brandon all voted how it went.
So it was dicey.
They weren't all the same because there was a tie for last,
so I had to include that.
Brandon voted pretty much chalk.
Caroline won.
John Rich, two.
Luke, three.
Danny, four.
Danny was the only one that did not get a first place vote.
And what's his name?
John Rich didn't get a last place vote correct interesting i would
have loved to see how kate voted that's one thing that i regret that we don't have a woman voter in
the mix she went on vacation i know i wish kate was here though she decided she has to have some
me time all right so we're good we're gonna see all four tonight i i can't for me it's crazy how like i said before
like the caroline thing to me she has been so up and down to me what did you not like about her
today i thought she wasn't like i don't know i thought she was a little more reserved and like
i don't know i just because she's vibe was just not. You were Upper West Side. No, that was the end.
But, yeah, I can't figure her out.
And I also, like, maybe it's also, I don't know.
I went on her TikTok, and I was.
You got to check it out.
I think you should, because it was just, like, a lot of very different ideas.
Okay, all right.
So, I have nothing this afternoon, so I'm going to dig into everyone.
Yeah, digging people's YouTubes, dig in people's TikToks,
dig into John Rich's blog.
I read John Rich's blog last night.
I read all the blogs
last night. John Rich's Raisins blog was
very funny. Or he has a blog on his Twitter
too, where it's like just other blogs of
his. Pretty short and very readable.
Maybe you should, but I don't think I need any more
proof of that. Yeah.
Oh, he's a great – I said it today.
He's a very good blogger.
He's still been writing blogs this week.
Which is –
It's good.
I'm also worried that I didn't really have much to look at from Luke's perspective.
It's like, okay, how can I dig more into Luke?
And I didn't really find a lot, and it's like, well, why not?
Yeah.
Why aren't you making stuff?
Right, right. No,'t you making stuff? Right.
No, that's a very fair criticism. Although there's been ups and downs with Caroline or somebody else like that,
like they're taking risks and they're going for it,
it's a lot easier to just have a plateau of just like a good week,
but built in laughs maybe.
Okay.
You spoke to how you were up and down on her.
You had her fourth.
One other person had her third.
Everyone else had her first or second.
Yeah, like I said, I have been so...
Yesterday, I think I had her first.
And on Tuesday, I think I had her on the elimination block.
So it's like her stock to me has just been as volatile as it could be.
Right now, we're on a downswing, but we'll see what happens tonight.
Okay, that's a yak. That was a great yak, downswing, but we'll see what happens tonight. Okay.
That's a great yak, boys.
This has been an awesome week.
Finale tonight.
I'm pumped. Twists are over.
It's just presentations. That's it.
I'm all out of twists.
So tonight we will see everyone's final
presentation and we will be voting
for our new colleague.
Same thing we've been doing. We'll rank them one through four that'll be right back. See you tonight.
I promise you, you won't want to miss it.