The Yak - Dizzy Bat Day Takes No Prisoners | The Yak 5-1-24

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. Hello. It's the Yak. Roback.com. Promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.

Roback.com. God damn it. If you had gone black shirt, we would have double matched. That would have been crazy. Almost did. We're on the same wavelength. You smell weird smell weird yeah it's one of those this fabric it collects sweat you know what i mean you're always smelling a little bit something smells off we got some i saw some axe body spray up front you want some yeah douse me up yeah mook why don't you go get it i can't move

run get it move i don't go run and get it run go get it? I can't move. You can't move? I can't move. Run and get it, Mook. Go run and get it. Run and get it, Mook. It's right in the kitchen. 30 seconds. You got it. I was fucking icing my balls last night with a DiGiorno. This is time you're using.

You could be getting it. I heard people were saying the P word. Oh. Oh. I heard a P word as well. Mook got hurt last night playing in the softball in the Pug softball. I heard it wasn't that it wasn't playing in the softball. I heard it was warm-ups.

Oh. It was warm-ups. Mook texted the group and said, I pulled my groin. I spoke to someone anonymous. I feel like Shams right now. Anonymous sources after the game spoke with me, and the P word was used. Well, that's bullshit. The direct quote from my anonymous source was,

he's acting like a total pussy. Now I have to go have sex with my dog. Wait. Shit. That anonymous person told all pretty much. Pussy was your P word? Yeah, mine was pussy. Oh, someone said, I asked about MOOC, and they're like, it was pretty bad.

Oh, wow. Good, yeah, it was pretty bad. No, they called you a pussy, dude. I thought they called him a pterodactyl. Yeah, that's what it was. That oh oh wow good yeah it was pretty bad i thought they called him a i thought they called him a pterodactyl yeah that's what it was that's the keyword yeah yeah all i know is you guys know that i have like fast twitch muscles we don't know that we need to start no you just start doing this uh anonymous sources after every game yeah we should talk to a member of that's a good listen i don't want to tell anybody on the team what to do, but that's a blog series I would read is like the rat within the team.

Yeah. Anonymous blogs after every game. Anonymous source said – They give us the recap. Acting like a huge pussy. I was not. Do you want to snort this dime bag with me? Yeah. I stayed in to hit.

I stayed in to hit. You didn't field? Did not field. So you pulled your groin. Pulled myself out of the field in the second inning. Tried to play through it. Was it liability? Is it officially pulled? That's what Google thinks.

I Googled it up. What did you put into the Google? What does a pulled groin feel like? And it said inner thigh. Feels like my legs are being torn apart right now. Go get the Axe body spray. You could just have a thigh problem.

Also, Mook Militia. Should I run back the joke? Yeah, run it back. Mook Militia Drive. What, no one drives on that road? Yeah. That was good. That was good.

Shout out to Max P for this. Max P's a man. That's a cool ass. That's that town in Pennsylvania that has a fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tough shot, Mook. It's a fucking town in Pennsylvania that has a fire. Tough shot, Mook. It's a ghost town road. Can you pull up Centralia, TJ?

Isn't that town on fire? Yeah. Yeah. That's Mook's voice. We should do a Mook versus Kate pro day today. Oh, my God. He's just hamming it up. What are we sending him after next? Something?

Could get something. Yeah, pull up Centralia, Pennsylvania. it up what are we sending to the restroom uh something could get something yeah centralia pennsylvania the the do the image search do image search yeah yeah there we go yeah that that's that's drive let's drive right there a fire underneath and no one's there what is that guy interesting stuff shout out centralia i have a gift oh it's mostly for dan but it's for the whole room really whoa i do too it's a whole uh case of arsenic yeah my first trip oh let's go best place best jerky in whoa where'd you get it the guy uh meat market it is the best the guy i got jamaican i got teriyaki and i got sweet bourbon i walked in the guy just to me he's like titus what's up and then i started talking to him too

i think was his name and then good catch that was cool i hate to i've been going oh that's christine i've been going to this place forever. It is so fucking good. Where is it? Here in Chicago? Yeah, it's Palina Meat Market on Palina. Who has the Jamaican one? I told Titus an old Chicago joke.

If you guys want to use it, there's three streets in Chicago named after a women's anatomy or rhymes with a women's anatomy. It's Palina, Movina, and Lunt. Pretty good, huh? What's the Lunt one? That's cunt. Ah, okay.

Oh, that's good jerky. Yeah. Guy said you come in all the time and get the jerky. I was like, I'm going to get some jerky for the show then. All the time.

There you go. Place is great. Oh, my God.ky for the show then. All the time. There you go. Place is great. Oh, my God. There's a Jamaican. Isn't it? Thank you. Isn't it? There's a perfect smokiness to it.

Isn't it? Yeah. Jerky. It is. You got it? Yeah. And it's great. Palada Meat Market's the best because they have guys there, butchers there that you can

tell have been butchers their entire life. Born butchers. And then they have a new crop of younger guys, but they did a really good job hiring them where it's like they have the butcher demeanor. Yeah, this guy had a mustache. Right. Yeah, they're young guys.

They're young guys or old guys. Yeah, yeah. They really drafted well. Thank you, Mark. There you go. Thank you, Mark. There you go. Delicious. Thank you, Mark. I was just there yesterday, and I thought, why not?

Isn't it good? I haven't tasted it yet. What? I'm excited. What are you doing? You're not eating? Not yet. Oh, well.

Wow. You smell good, Kyle. Dude, no, I don't. But the ax smells fine. I like the smell. It smells like Kevin Rudolph. Who's that? It's the era of Let It Rock.

Let It Rock. He just dropped a banger with Lil Wayne. I don't know him. You would know him. You would know this. Lil Wayne from New Orleans. I know that. The rapper.

Lil Wayne. Packers fan, though. Yeah, huge. Skip Bayless fan, too. That's the more offensive. He and Skip Bayless Are like best friends He hangs out at his house All the time

Little Wayne and Skip Little Wayne, Skip And Ernestine Skip Bayless' wife That's a good crew Yeah Don't sleep in the same room Row back

That's a A lot of couples say it's good Only on weekends A lot of couples say it's good Yeah Row back I already did Throwback. Oh, fuck.

You think we didn't start the show? Look, they're best friends. Very wholesome friendship. I don't like that headline. Brandon, do you have a Lil Wayne phase? No, a little after me. I pretty much landed on Outkast and stuck there forever. Outkast, so good.

So good. Stankonia, one of my favorite albums of all time. They're so good. I'd put it on my Rushmore. I don't think it's their best album. You like ATLians? No, I like Equimini. Whoa.

You're going to have that jerky in your throat for the rest of the show. No one I'd rather talk life with? Than Lil Wayne? Damn. Well, which one said that? Oh, this is very important. One said sports and one said life. I, this is very important. Definitely Skip. One said sports and one said life.

I don't think people would be interviewing Skip, so it's almost certainly Lil Wayne. People wouldn't be interviewing Skip? No, it's a double interview. Oh, it's a twofer. Yeah, what a weird. What a long answer from Lil Wayne that was. They're best friends.

I need a weird best friend. Not a weird best friends. I need a weird best friend. Not a weird best friend, but a mismatched best friend. It's also weird. Skip Bayless has an equally not as famous brother who actually has restaurants in Chicago who they don't speak. He's like a world-renowned chef. Yeah, Rick Bayless. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Is Skip Bayless 5'9"? He's a short fella. Is he? Isn't he? He presents tall, though,9"? He's a short fella. Is he? Isn't he? He presents tall, though, correct? He's vascular. I don't know if he presents tall. Did Rick Bayless do travel shows?

Am I making that up? That's Anthony Bourdain. No, different, different. That's Anthony Bourdain, yeah. Way to bring up a bad memory. That's not who I brought up. There are a bunch of travel shows. We have one in our midst, Wanton Don.

That's right. I didn't bring him up. So no. He's still alive. No on the travel. I believe he did. Who? Rick Bailey. I think he did. Wanton Don. Who? He's dead? No, he did travel shows. Oh, I think so. Wait, Wanton Don's dead?

Yeah, I saw him this morning. Who would be the biggest bummer to die in this office right now? Me. I think Wanton Don dawn would it be one i think spider spider would be a pretty because he'd also would like you we'd have to get like the little baby coffin yeah but i think spider i think we'd find him like dried up under the couch we'd have to sweep him into a pan spider he's fine dried up under the couch then we just add a little water he comes back back hey what's up guys sorry i died for last week need anything i was fucking dead you need anything yeah my bad dude i was dead lasagna's ready

he's got to be his tagline lasagna's ready love it lasagna's ready it's across his gravestone yeah just any guest that comes into this office just spiders like want some lasagna need some lasagna

welcome to barstool want some lasagna I'll be your lasagna guy if you need any lasagna you know who to hit up I would love to have samples around the office like a Sam's Club

oh like just like one corner just the little smokies can we have the interns do that yeah oh we should do sample day oh that's the best that's the best idea we have we'll walk around and yeah and they have to do the awkward like maybe even we put the actual food item the products behind so you have to do, because I would always like grab the food item and then just drop it off a couple aisles later.

Yeah. Oh yeah. So it has to be a product they love and believe in. Yeah. And then we can choose to put it in our cart. Yep.

And whoever sells the most products. Yes. I love that. Yeah. Yeah, sample day. That will rock. Probably not.

Well, for us. No, for us, that would be great. The viewers know. Bad. Real bad. They're just going to watch would be great. The viewers know. Bad. Real bad. They're just going to watch us meander around the office and eat snacks. Which is basically every day.

Every single day. I love the stations at Costco that have some ubiquitous thing that no one would ever need a sample of. It's like a Reese's. Yeah, I'll try it. I'll try one. And you give a two-second Yeah. Just like. Yeah. Yeah, I'll try it. I'll try one. And you give like a two second review. Not bad. We're on to something.

I might actually pick this up. Or they would even do. I remember they used to do the gummy vitamins too. Yeah. Like you're just going to go sample some vitamins. They did do that. Yeah. There would just be some vitamins sitting there.

Okay. What has better food samples? Costco or the food court at the mall? Costco. Costco. What food court? The mall food court has the Chinese. Oh, it's the Chinese. Yeah, the mall food court. That's the most effective one.

They've completely cut down on the samples. It's only the Chinese. Is that right? The Chinese are the only ones letting you sample. And Charlie's Sub. Shout out to my peeps. Oh, Charlie's. Yeah, they do.

How do you sample a Sub? They dice it up. There will be smoothies every once in a while, too. Oh, yeah. Late-etern fudge store samples. Yeah, Big Cat, you're an ice cream guy. How many samples of ice cream are too many before you start to feel weird about it? When you're in line and you're like, I'll try the three.

You do that? I don't because I know what I want. You know what you want, yeah. But if I were to do it, I've done before two to three. Yeah. Three is pushing it. Two is normal. Two is normal.

Three is the one where you're like, okay, this is now getting too much. Three is like, I'm a scumbag, but I'm still going to ask. Yeah, and then if you go over three, you have to, I think, just finish the samples and run away. Oh, the jerky. It's great jerky, isn't it? Super good. You're going to have to start getting it. They got great meats there.

You would love their meats, Brandon. You would love their meats. I've already looked up the address. Yeah. 19 minutes from here. Yeah, you'd love their meats. And they got a little pig that you take the number out of the snout. Yep. Wait in line. I got a little pig That you take the number Out of the snout Yep Wait in line I got a confession Yeah

Isn't that good I got a confession I just wanted to take a number I didn't actually need anything Wow I called my number And I didn't I just

You just wanted to get the ambiance You said no I didn't say anything I just ran That's fucked up Yeah And then they moved on I love the dutch snout

Yeah I just wanted to take a number I love a good deli meat sample too A little bit of turkey Oh yeah They'll do that there too They'll just be like Oh you want some of this jerky I just wanted to take a number. I love a good deli meat sample, too. A little bit of turkey. Oh, yeah, they'll do that there, too. They're just like, oh, you want some of this jerky? Any sliced meat can go bye-bye.

What? No. Huh? Bullshit. Back up. Come on. Maybe I overate it as a kid. I'll never do sliced any meat.

Bologna. You don't eat sliced meat? No. Like an Italian hoagie won't do that? Yeah, I guess. On a sandwich. But I won't buy the... That's where you eat them. Yeah.

I won't buy a package of sliced meat from the deli at the grocery store. To make your own sandwich at home? It's so nice to have turkey at home or pastrami. I love just getting a piece of ham out of the kitchen. If I'm hungry, I kind of want a bag of I don't like thin. A bag of pepperoni. Oh, I love. You like thick or thin? I don't like thick meat.

It's got to be thin. I like thick. Oh, it's got to be paper thin. That's what, yeah. Oh, I like thick. No, then. I got to actually accidentally maybe sometimes eat the paper. Yeah.

And not know the difference. That paper tastes pretty good, though. Yeah. Tastes like the meat. It's never bad, yeah. Between the cheeses. Yeah, that's good. You think there's any delis out there that are, like,

stepping on their meat by adding more paper? Ooh. They're cutting it. Cutting their meat. So much paper in between each slice. When was the last time you handled construction paper? I hadn't thought about it. Mine's probably been about 15 years.

I'm in construction paper zone With my kids I got past it Why is it called that? It's thick Some houses are built out of it You gotta be protesting to use that shit nowadays Yeah right

Is everyone just protesting now? I'm very loosely following Let's not tackle this I got nothing good to say That was literally my only question Are you protesting now? I'm very loosely following. We're in a protest season. Let's not tackle this. No, I'm not. I've got nothing good to say. That was literally my only question. I'm wondering. It seems like it's a college thing. Yeah.

Yeah. It's the season. It's Columbia. It's UCLA. So what would you say if someone comes up to you with a camera in your face and like, do you free Palestine or what? Get the camera out of my face, bro. What do you think?

I'd probably be like, hey, it's May 1st You're about to end your school year Shouldn't you be drunk somewhere? Yeah, have fun Like, this is the best drunk The last two weeks of spring semester When everyone's about to be done And the weather turns

That's what I was saying about Hawaii No party energy. Really? I stayed late. Yeah, because it is part, like, I was up in Madison last night, and I drove in, and it was, you could smell it in the air. Of course, they'll do it. This is, I wanted to go stand on a deck, play beer pong for seven hours.

This is why we college. Yeah, this is exactly why. We put on some Asher Roth. May is every day. Why would you be protesting? Do that. They need to learn that there is nothing they can do to make a difference. Correct.

The only difference they can make is the difference in their own life by playing some beer pong with their friends. That's it. You can control your own happiness. Do that. Yeah. Yeah, getting up there. Yeah yeah how was that it was good it was good went well i have so two things one it went well um it was a lot of people it's like a thousand people uh a lot of wisconsin fans a lot of wisconsin a lot of badger fans that's an inside any non brandon that's the worst yeah of course the first time we went on, Brandon went on the college football show,

2018, 19, to Clemson. Brandon and I went out to dinner and ice cream, and we were driving, and he was like, man, there's a lot of Clemson fans. We were in Clemson right before game day. Again, the worst inside joke ever. So I texted Brandon when I pulled up to Madison. I was like, a lot of Badger fans. That sounds like a boss joke.

Saying it out loud is even worse. That ain't for me. I don't think we can do it anymore. Keep that inside. It wasn't even a funny joke when we did it just the two of us. We tried to take it mainstream and it ain't going mainstream. It has fallen flat.

Did all your jokes go over well? All my jokes went over well except one. We tried to take it mainstream, and it ain't going mainstream. It has fallen flat. Fuck. Did all your jokes go over well? I might quit the college football show. All my jokes went over well except one. So I did a monologue, and I wrote in, like, I was trying to give a shout out. Like, I've seen everything. I've done the highs and lows. I've been to tournament games, Rose Bowls, watched Wisconsin win a national title in 2006 in hockey, like, women's hockey team volleyball team

and then i said something like um and i was made aware recently there's a cross-country team and all they do is run that sounds like the worst fucking thing ever that's what i said yeah and uh and then i but i didn't look ahead on the program i had these cue cards i didn't i just didn't look like maybe 10 minutes later i had to do like an interaction thing and i was like it like introduce yourself and he's like i'm the blah blah i'm the cross-country coach and i was like all right nice he didn't like that no he didn't like that they're already a little it's got to be an easy sport to coach i'll say it yeah just run fucking run keep going but no it's good was good. I also felt very at home with the – it seemed like the hockey team had probably camped out for a week.

They were all in the front row whooping it up for me. Those are my guys. Always knows. They'll do you right. Do right away with the hockey team. Hockey players will do you right. Yeah. Who won athlete of the year?

Couldn't tell you. Ah. Yeah. You can tell us. We're friends. No, I – Oh, nah. Yeah. How does a cross-country coach get fired? athlete of the year? Couldn't tell you. You can tell us. We're friends. How does a cross-country coach get fired? Does the team not run?

Good question. I hated the play calling of this race. They didn't run. Sexual predator. Yeah, sexual predator. There was way too much walking in that race. That was a weird decision. That was a weird game plan. No adjustments. No adjustments whatsoever. And then there was the other story was I saw a guy I know,

and we were telling an old story, and he was like, he specifically said to me, he's like, you got to tell this on the yak. And I said to myself, now I can't. Yeah. That's annoying if you think we're just going to talk about this just because you said you know you did something so i i was like you know what i'm not gonna i can't do that now yeah

you've ruined it it was fun if i organically had fun with it but when you're like predicting that i'm gonna tell it on the yak no i'm not gonna do the story yeah right right and a lot of people were probably complaining about those athletes badgering right exactly so like and so that that kind of ruined it for me where like it's like i'm not if you're if you're gonna basically predict that i'm gonna tell something on this show the fun's over so we're just not even gonna address it for the entire show yeah it's an egotistical move right so yeah but it was good night Travel there and back Nice little drive Do you get nervous? Do you get more nervous for that? Or like a big guest on a podcast?

Big guest on a podcast That I don't get nervous for because I'm in the perfect spot In a career where if I fuck up I'll just say I fucked up and everyone will be like ha ha Yeah wow Good job you fucked up Yeah like I fucked up that we played

family feud i fucked it up i was like i told you i'd fuck it up i was like oh it's a good that's a real sweet spot to be yeah it's kind of a smart brand play by you just yeah i fuck things up and then when it happens yeah yeah that's what i do Look he did it Yeah He fucked it up He did the thing Yeah Cool And the chat should just wake up To what I was telling about that story Yeah Yeah Just wake up chat

Wake up When someone tells you That you have to tell the story Wake up Or you're not gonna tell it Yeah Not on the first of the month No

Double up what you need And if you're not understanding What we're saying It's not an us thing. You need to look n-word. Exactly. So what's up, guys? I have a Hank story.

Oh. That you kind of heard. Are you rubbing your thighs right now? Yeah, I'm just in pain. I'm just constantly in pain. Are you going to rub your thighs throughout the story? Yeah. Got to be honest, brother, a bit distracting. I know. I mean. They'm just constantly in pain. Are you going to rub your thighs throughout the store? Yeah. Got to be honest, brother.

A bit distracting. I know. I mean. They're quite milky. They are. They are. Yeah. They're big boys.

That wasn't really what I was going for. You don't like my big boy thighs? More of those. Tell the Hank story. Milky. Milky is not big. I think milky is kind of. Milky implies creamy and big.

You're going to slip that in there. Milky is white. My legs are just as white, but I wouldn't say they're milky. creamy and big i'm gonna slip that in milky is white my legs are just as white but i wouldn't say they're milky they're spindly exactly yeah i got your back there thank you brother um sorry continue injured at softball hank is giving me a ride home me and hank have a history of him dropping me off at my house because we live close to each other we have like a designated pickup drop-off spot it's like a 10 minute walk from my actual house last night i get in hank's car in my head i'm like oh he's gonna drop me off at home because i can't walk we get to the drop-off spot and he starts like drifting

over to drop me off on the street and he's like so you're gonna get out here and i was just like i was too afraid to be like can you drop me off at my house so i just like got out and then a 10 minute walk home turned into a 30 minute walk and we've done this routine 20 times like me and hank are friends and for some reason i was like that's it was a pussy that's what you do if like jay-z does that i don't know i just like froze up hank my leg is hurt. Can you please drive the extra quarter of a mile? It would have been an extra two minutes in the car. And I was just like, ugh.

That's 100% on you. That's on you. I know. That's not a Hank story. That's a Mook story. Yeah, that's a you being, hey, guys, I got a story about me being a pussy. That's not a Hank story. I agree with you.

You're 100% Hank because Hank would have done it if you asked. I know he would have. If you're in that car, you need to say, hey, today, can you take me all the way to the house because I'm hurting?

The second you got in the car, were you hyping yourself up to say something but you just couldn't? Were you like, yeah. We were kind of yucking it up and then I was like,

oh, he's definitely going to do it. He knows, obviously, I'm hurt and then he just starts veering off to the drop-off spot and I was choking up. I was like, and then I just starts like veering off to the drop-off spot and I was like choking up I was like and then I just like got out of the car oh yeah it was a very soft moment so he always

makes you walk 10 minutes it's very convenient it's it's like uh like he makes a right to go right to his apartment that's right there and then like I have like a five ten minute walk max I'm gonna go ahead and say a say he should probably just drop you off. That's probably a much shorter drive. I'm with Hank. Yeah, no, Hank. I think it's like that's kind of a game you play mentally with your friends where it's like if you need a ride home, like I'm not going to go all the way to your house.

Exactly. Whatever, like if you live on a one-way, I'll drop you off at the corner. Come on. All right. All the way? Now I'm just your butler. You've got to meet me a little bit. I'll drop you 20 feet from your house. Yeah, but what if your boy can't walk?

If you take a friend to the airport, do you drop him off before you get to the gate? Let me stop you right there. That never happens. Yeah, I drop him off. I'll take you a quarter mile from the airport and then drop you off. I drop them off right before the protesters. Good luck to the rental car booth. People driving people to the airport.

Remember that was a big, we had that big debate. It went along. Yeah, that just becomes a city versus rural debate. That's all it is. You immediately realize it's like if you live in a city where there's not traffic then yes you drop off your friends and pick them up if you live in a city with traffic you never do yeah but if you're dating you don't you better pick them up you don't ask your friends no and i never offer to my friends in a real city yeah yeah if you're trying to fuck them you you still pick them you pick them up yeah

ladies if he's not picking you up. Although there is no better, there's such a great feeling. I haven't had this in a very long time because I don't do airport trips, but if you ever had friends visit for like a long weekend and you got real banged up and then taking them to the airport and being like, you still got to get on a plane and I'm just going to go die on my couch. That's a great feeling. I like the feeling of picking up a buddy you haven't seen in a while from an airport. You see him, bonk, got the tunes ready.

I do, too. I pick people up. Yeah. It sucks. You burn a lot of Convo in the car. Exactly. You get all the stuff out of the way before the weekend. He's a buddy, though.

Do you guys save Convo? What if it's their first time in the city? Brandon does for Unnecessary Roughness. God damn it. He'll save it for, yeah. Brandon doesn't like Deion's hand. their first time in the city brandon does for unnecessary roughness yeah he'll save it for yeah so don't bring up like don't bring up any topic that he might want to save for unnecessary get a rep in i got a rep in and mostly i was just trying to keep repping the guy went after dion the guy did not go after dion what's happening in colorado what's happening in colorado is a crisis of leadership all right if you want to be the number one pick in the draft you don't go after your teammates who's happening in Colorado is a crisis of leadership.

All right? If you want to be the number one pick in the draft, you don't go after your teammates who your dad may get in the fucking transfer board. That's crazy. All right, I'm going to be honest with you, Brandon. I'm going to level you man to man. Dion's pretty famous, and I just want to stay in his good graces. I've seen that for the last two years with all you motherfuckers.

I just level with you man to man, bro. Thank you. You don't know ball. Four and eight's good. Yeah, you actually don't know ball. I've been that for the last two years with all you motherfuckers. I just level with you man to man, bro. Thank you. You don't know ball. Four and eight is good. Yeah, you actually don't know ball. I've been fighting this fight for a while. Four and eight is probably the most impressive season ever. I don't. Yeah. Two years ago they went one and eleven.

Last year they went four and eight. Double OT win. I love Dion discussions. Because the people that like Dion are like, that guy's kind of tight. And then the people that hate Dion are like, four and eight is not tight. And then the people that hate Deion are like, four days is not good. Like, just screaming. Northwestern went 1-11 two years ago, and they went to a bowl last year.

You're very serious college football media people. Just keep screaming he's not winning games, not realizing that nobody really gives a fuck one way or another. We just think it's kind of funny. Cool sunglasses. We just think it's just where his sunglasses are. He calls himself prime. That's cool.

Yeah. I'll say this. He will never win a championship. I think himself Prime. That's cool. Yeah. I'll say this. He will never win a championship. I think Deion should probably get off Twitter. I would agree with that. So there you go. Yeah. What did he do?

Take it to Instagram. Yeah. You probably wouldn't see it. The college football people probably wouldn't see it. That's true. So there was this player a couple of days ago. He went to Austin Peay from colorado he transferred uh you know he was encouraged to transfer when deon got there and somebody asked him a reporter asked him you know what was it like he said well i wanted to stay at colorado but they kind of made me get the transfer portal and i they didn't get to know me

or anything like that shadur sanders deon's son tweeted out i didn't even know this guy he must have been mid or something like that. Was he? Who knows? I don't know. I thought I saw his stats and he's very mid. He was freshman All-American at Austin Peay. What division is that?

Oh, okay. Anyway, the guy goes and gets his opportunity and goes and gets it. But if you're going to be the number one pick in the draft, are you going to be tweeting about your teammates calling him mid like the NFL team? Well, it wasn't his teammate. The former teammate. Yeah, but he barely knew the guy. So, wait, where does Deion come in?

So his son chirps at him. Deion's been tweeting today kind of cleaning up the mess, but really kind of creating more mess. Making more mess. So you're mad? I'm not mad at all. Sounds like you're mad. Titus brought it up on mostly.

I accidentally said a phrase I shouldn't have said. I was like, well, we've got unnecessary. Uh-oh. On May 1st. It's the first of the month. We've got unnecessary roughness coming back next week. I'm going to unload in there. He said, no, do it.

And I ended up doing it. And now he's trying to make me do it on the yak. And there's no, we don't talk about it. Yeah, but think about how polished you're going to be on unnecessary roughness. You're working your sets out. I'm always polished on unnecessary roughness. Yeah, you're cleaning up your act. I'm good.

I'm good. So you think Deion's a scumbag? Not what I said. What would you say? I would say this is a gigantic year for Deion Sanders because so far the direction Colorado looked like they were going in when he got hired is not happening and is, in fact, getting worse. Yeah, that was way too diplomatic. This is brutal.

That was boring, dude. I like his beard. You just basically fence set the season. They feel like they should be good, but they might not be. Yeah, are they going to win the national tournament? No, I said last year they weren't going to be good. And you and Dave acted like I was the worst person in the world. Dave called me an idiot.

No, I did not. I never said that they were going to be great. And when they started sucking, I was like, they suck. Dave had them winning the national title. Yeah, well, that's Dave. Don't put me in that camp. I was a lot more honest with it. I started betting against them

as soon as... That Oregon game, I bet against them. It's great. You did good, Brandon. Dion makes him mad. Yeah, Dion does make him mad. He doesn't like

a strong, powerful black man. Yeah. Power. And you know what else makes him mad? You know what? This makes him mad, too. Oh, whoa, whoa. Brandon likes OutKast.

I got you, Brandon. Now, if Dion was an assistant coach, Brandon would probably be okay with it. Yeah. We're tightening up your set. No, we're not tightening up. You're tightening up your set. This is really good right now.

Working shit out. Stop rubbing your thighs when you look at me. I can't stop. I have an announcement. Okay. Oh. I might have a new friend. I might have another friend.

What? I might have a second friend. Which one? Don. Gay Don? I heard about him. Gay Don. I remember Gay Don I heard about him Gay Don I remember Gay

Yeah Hell yeah He was sucking Pat's dick last week Yeah He's gay as hell Yeah It's good though We're a good combo

Cause Gay Don would never fuck Tiny Dick Art Couldn't I'm not friends with Don yet If he's I'm close Fuck Tiny Dick Art. Couldn't. I'm not friends with Don yet. I'm close. Oh, you're budding with gay Don. Oh, you're afraid of getting too close to gay Don. No, I'm ready.

I'm ready. I'm ready for Don. How'd you meet Don? Have you guys cussed in front of each other? Yeah, we had a motorcycle meet up. Like basic cusses like hell and damn? Or have you said fuck in front of Don? I'm almost certain I've said fuck. He's had my burgers. He was over at the

impromptu cookout. Wait, is he the one that you've been trying to be friends with? Yes! Big Boat. Yes! Oh, Big Boat Don. And I'm close. Big Boat Don's good. Big Boat Don. Big Boat Don. Big Gay Boat Don. Here's how we became friends. We were sitting at the dinner table at the impromptu cookout and I said, I just can't

figure out the baits for this lake. And he said, give me your phone. I said, what? He said, give me your phone. He went to tacklewarehouse.com entered in put in my cart what I needed I bought it and now I'm catching fish. Fish. That's friendship. Put your worm in my hand. Let me spit

on your worm real quick. Trouble with the fish, huh? You tried fucking me? You tried fucking me? You tried fucking me first? Brandon, try my rock. Gay Don! Spitting on some worms, pre-spitting worms. He's just sitting behind Brandon on his little tiny

boat. Brandon, hand me that worm. Alright, go. So Gay Don's not gay, he just stole your phone and did shopping for you you're not allowed to have friends other than us man we will not let this happen I gotta pee I'm gonna go pee so you guys go cruising

well he hasn't been in my boat yet he sat on my patio did you guys eat dinner outside no we've only Well, he hasn't been in my boat yet. He sat on my patio. Did you guys eat dinner outside? No, we've only had dinner at the impromptu cookout. Where was that? At my house. Inside.

You ate inside. Inside. Okay. He's been inside. He's been inside my house. Now, I've had dinner with Art in many places, but I haven't been out with Don yet. But I talked to Don yesterday. I was like, hey, thanks for the fishing baits. And he said, yeah, we're going to go out.

We'll go out one day. You're going on the big boat. He gestured toward the lake. I think he meant the lake. Let's hope. Oh, you don't know if he meant the lake or out on the town? No, he meant the lake. He meant the lake.

You guys are going to go out on the town. He may have meant. No, we're going out on the lake. He gestured toward the lake. The lake was right there. He went, oh, yeah, we'll go out there one day. What could that mean? It could mean we're going fishing, Mark.

It could mean we're going fishing. So what's your next move? I'm just going to have two friends. I'm two friend Brandon now. What the fuck? I got Art and I got Don. I hate this, man. Two friend Brandon.

You've changed. I didn't have any friends in got Don. I hate this, man. Two-friend Brandon. You've changed. I didn't have any friends in New Jersey. I know. That was awesome. Yeah, that was the best. You were miserable. You needed us. Yeah, we loved it.

Hated it. We loved it. Now you're scurrying to get home. Yeah. Yeah. Can't wait to leave here. I like the idea, too, of like reverting to like a 12 year old and just going over to Don's house

he has a baseball glove in his hand hey Mrs. Don is gay Don there? can he come out and play? yeah do you not have his phone number? no I don't have his phone number baseball cards, spokes for your bike. How many houses down does he live? Four or five.

Oh, you should get a bike with pegs. Oh, so Don... Front and back. On an art. Yeah. Get yourself a mom. All right, we'll let you be friends with him if we can get a picture of you on a bike

with Gay Don and Tiny Dick Art on both sides. That's a good deal, Brandon. We'll let you be friends with him if you do this one embarrassing thing. Can we just call them Don and Art? What'd I say? You said Gay Don and Tiny Dick Art. Oh, that sounds good. Clip that for me, TJ.

Big Gay Boat Don. Brandon, I don't know if you can be the leader of this crew if they don't have belittling nicknames. I don't know. Yeah, I am the leader of this crew know yeah i am the leader of this crew yeah i'm definitely the leader of this crew but art did invite me to the bucks game last night but i couldn't go because we had a ball game oh so this is like a daily thing oh yeah so wait where do you see him huh wait ron invited you to the bucks game yeah but i didn't i discounted that no he didn't shay brandon brandon didn't want to say yes to ran. Che invited me in Che's spot.

Roan never invited me. Oh. But Art, he invited me, and I couldn't go. By the way, Stephen Che. Sucks. No. Oh. I'm proud of you.

He had a good tweet. A good tweet from Che. He had a good tweet. I didn't see it. He's so shocked. He had a good tweet. Pull it up, TJ. By Bucks? Wow. It was the. Yeah, good tweet. I didn't see it. I'm so shocked. He had a good tweet. Pull it up, TJ. My books?

Wow. It was the Joel Embiid tweet. Don't ruin it, Steven. Joel Embiid was hobbling around. He was hobbling around last night. He did not play well. Great win, though. Look at this tweet.

I was shocked when I saw it. I didn't see it. You got to give him credit when he does good things. Positive reinforcement. Can you find it, TJ? Joel Embiid with his 10th turnover completing the cripple double. Oh, that's good. That's pretty good.

Yeah, that's pretty good. Che, I like that. That's pretty good. That's funny, dude. Yeah, like for Che, that was a really good tweet. Got to give credit where credit's due. Oh, no. It's a Walt Clyde Frazier line. The triple-double. Yeah, if you have a triple-double, ten turnovers.

Oh. I think it actually got rescinded, so he might actually have finished with nine, but it was like very clearly off him. Damn it. Thank you, though. No, I appreciate him bringing it to our attention. Yeah, but I wish it had been Che original. It was a good tweet with a stat that's not correct and a term that someone else

came up with. And also kind of an offensive term. Yeah, kind of. Why is that offensive? Cripple, Jay. Cripple. I don't think you're allowed to say cripple.

About turnovers? You're allowed to say whatever you want. Yeah, I'm not gonna. Jay doesn't. It's like an AI bear fucking another one. You can do it.

Nobody can. Like, when did he? That's my favorite controversy ever It's unbelievable You haven't seen this? Brian Whitney's been the center of hockey Twitter For the entire week What? People are really coming at him

He posted someone else made an AI Bear Fucking another bear A polar bear fucking another bear. A polar bear fucking a grizzly bear. Yeah, so it was the Bruins versus the Maple Leafs. The Maple Leafs bear is down getting fucked, does have a skirt and a purse, and is crying. That part might be a little weird. Oh, I didn't see that at all.

Yeah, but still, I like it. Yeah, there it is. The tear is crazy, but otherwise. Yeah, the tear might have been much. So he tweeted that. So people were like, I can't believe this. This is so misogynistic. It's AI of two bears. It's not real.

And then somebody was just like, yeah, you're fired. Someone said he's fired. Yeah, the responses are insane what's the yeah nobody is on his side no well yeah a lot of people aren't this is gross we need a winnowing response this one oh yeah tj i just sent you this one though this i feel bad for your daughter how is this still up he doesn't i don't think these people are real they can't be i think they're bots they just found the thing that they want to be mad about that day. Yeah.

For a week. It's not real. And he never addressed it, which is great. Great. Yeah. Look at the emojis on Jeffrey P. Johnston. This is from him. Oh, yeah.

Oh, he's back. Holy shit. Let's go through the emoji. Gay. Gay. Wait, is it blind? Vax. That's got to be a career troll account. Vax, mask, international relations, human...

Oh, man. Journalist. Journalist. Great work. TJ, I just sent you one that made me laugh last night. Now this is the hockey. People have it. Normal people.

It's one of those controversies that like, oh. I actually love because it makes me feel extremely sane. That's a great reminder. I didn't spend 48 hours getting mad about an AI image of bears. But yeah, game day vibes. This is Canucks versus the Predators. I consent to this. Now that's funny. Who posted that? Some Canucks versus the uh Predators I consent to this now that's funny some Canucks fan now that is funny yeah so there you go that's all Whitney had to do

that's incredible so good it's also so low so low effort because they don't know what is a predator, so it's just a tiger with a predator's logo on its belly. It's centering his penis or vagina. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so funny. Wait, and that's a whale? That's an orca. Some broad shoulders on that whale.

That whale's a tank. Yeah. What was the thing that Stephen got in hot water for? I can't remember. There was something. Warning Jalen Hurst today? Jalen Hurst. No.

There was something else? Oh, oh, oh. After Ryan Malatide. And he immediately talked about his Madden stats. That's right. That's right. That's right. Fuck, I forgot about that.

Yeah, he was a servicial back uh backup yeah he's great to start a dynasty around right yeah people don't realize his arm strength no do an ai post about that we all grieve in our different ways but steven's brain i remember people were being like are you gonna get your boy to take this down i'm like his he doesn't have a bad bone in his body. He just doesn't. I think that's a high compliment. I think Stephen Chay knowing your throwing power for Madden 10 years later is the highest of compliments.

But you know what I mean about Stephen? Stephen has never done anything malicious in his life. No. No. He's not capable. Not at all. He's not capable of being mean. I wonder if he's ever tried.

You ever tried to be malicious? Oh, what if we did a Stephen Chay mean day? Yeah. Yeah, what if you tried to spite somebody? Very sad to hear about Ryan Mallett's passing. He was an extremely underrated Madden player, 98 throw power, 79 accuracy, only 51 speed. With those arm ratings, was able to become a solid starter via training camp,

great value in the late round. I mean, great value. This was like an hour after he died he did end up with a compliment about himself i just realized that whole thing was just a compliment about himself yeah yeah for savvy draft people are still talking oh oh he went i forgot he went on people should talk about the 75 yard bomb to aldrick robinson to win the super bowl in 2013 matchup it was 10 personnel this is madden Yeah, he's talking about his own games now. This is incel. Anyways, that was my memory of the man.

Clutch, underrated, forever champion to me. Rip Ryan Mallett and condolences to his family. Okay, maybe. Forever champion to me. Because of me. Yeah, because of me. Because I played with him. Nobody else was watching that. But it was you. It wasn't Ryan Mallett. He wasn't a champion

in real life. Yeah, you made you won. He needed you. It wasn't Ryan Mallett. He wasn't a champion in real life. Yeah, you made, you won. He needed you. Right. Yes. Without me, he would never be a champion. These whole things were just you bragging about you. He's the only one who actually got Ryan Mallett to his peak, his ceiling. That's true.

In video games. Correct. We miss him. Remember Dre Archer? What was his speed on Madden? Was he 99? He was not one of my guys. He fumbled way too much.

Trunk Candidate was one of my guys. Trunk Candidate was very fast, yes. He was 97 speed, I believe. I think he was 98. Damn. I'd say he was 98. Yeah, Steven's not capable of being mean. Remember Azahir Hakeem?

Yes, also fumbled too much, yes he was super fast he was probably 98 sorry stanley burrell doesn't ring a bell can't be who's stanley burrell he's about to do a thing I think I might have an idea. So I fucked up on that one. You listed like the list of Indianapolis superstars when you were in high school? Yeah, I just like fired off of them. Is Stanley Burrell one of them? Stanley Burrell, yeah. Burrell. So I looked.

I was like, who is this dude? And people were hyping him up. Yeah. It's MC Hammer? What? No. Yeah. It's MC Hammer? What? No. Yeah. I was like, was that a joke on your part?

No. Oh, my God. Stanley Kerr. Did you put MC Hammer on your list? Yeah. So MC Hammer played at Ben Davis High School. Great ball player. I mean, he was very athletic.

I mean, that's a unique name. That's MC Hammer. Maybe he was named after MC Hammer. Now you got me. Well, actually, time-wise, it kind of adds up, doesn't it? Was it MC Hammer? Let me call Buddy real quick. Did we play against MC Hammer?

No, Stanley Burrell played at Xavier. 39 years old right now. Born in 84. That would match up, Brandon. You're the only one here that was alive then. Is it MC Hammer's son? That's actually fact. Not.

Yeah, no. That's fact. You were the only one here. You were born in 84. I was born in 85. You were born in 84. I was born in 85. You were born in 84. I was born in 94. Kyle, so when you saw

Stanley Burrell on my list, did you immediately think MC Hammer or were you like... No, I was like, because I was looking through the quotes people were like, Stanley Burrell was that dude. He was that dude. I was like, alright, let me look into him. And I was like, is it fucking MC Hammer? I thought it was an inside joke.

Just two guys named Stanley Burrell. I guess so, yeah. Nah, can't be. He had to have been named after him, Brandon. 1984? No, MC Hammer wasn't famous yet in 1984. Really? Yeah, he didn't get famous until like 1990.

92. He was just a ball boy for the Oakland Athletics. Stanley Burrell. Now, who's Adnan Hodzic? That's the guy who went to jail for the murder. Yep. Who's Joe Reitz? Joe Reitz played in the NFL, played for the Colts forever.

He was a great basketball player at Western Michigan. But then he became an offensive lineman for the Colts. Joe Reitz. Yeah. Why are you saying that offensive lineman for the Colts. Joe Reitz. Yeah. Why are you saying that so sassily? Joe Reitz. Joe Reitz. Stanley Burrell.

I know Joe Reitz. There he is. Yeah. Oh, he played in Poland. Like Dwayne Jefferson, who played in Greece. For the rapper, Stanley Burrell. What? CMC Hammer.

That's crazy. Yeah, that was fun for me. You should have slipped in a couple of those names. Yeah, I should have just peppered in some. Wow, he plays a lot of European voices. Calvin Brodus. Michael B. Jordan. What is Lil Wayne's real name?

Come on. Oh, Wayne Carter. Yeah, that was dumb. You good? I'm'm back i'm back sure not really what's what's dr dre's real name i don't know that it's andre something dre andre 3000 right that no that is that's andre benjamin andre is 3000 not his last name? No. Dwayne Michael Carter. What about Birdman? That's his name.

Just Birdman. He's named after Larry. Bird. Brandon, you want to talk about NWO's impact on Bullet Club? Ooh. Do you want to talk about NWO's impact on Bullet Club? I don't have anybody that I could really go back and forth with. Well, I would say Bullet Club was almost a direct ripoff of the NWO.

Not a direct ripoff. I don't know if it's heavily influenced. I mean, they basically did the same thing. They did these invading things, and they did gang warfare. They were more athletic. Well, that's a lot. Kevin Nash was a seven-foot big man. AJ Styles. AJ Styles, certainly.

This isn't going anywhere. Kurt Hennig was one of the best athletes it's ever been. Save it for unnecessary roughness. Yeah, we'll do this on unnecessary roughness. Save it for unnecessary roughness. That would be a really good name for a wrestling show. I was never a big fan of the Bullet Club, and I never really got into the Japan wrestling.

Wow. Again. Mm-hmm. Hmm. Hey, how was last night? It was really fun. Yeah? Oh, yeah.

I had to put two lemons in my eye. Oh, I think we're going to do a yak one. Yeah, that was a blast. Shout-out to Lucas, who orchestrated that whole thing. Those guys go hard. Huge undertaking. It's a great idea to do a board game, because you could do other board games now. Yeah, that was a blast. Shout out to Lucas who orchestrated that whole thing. Yeah. Those guys go hard. Huge undertaking. It's a great idea to do a board game because you could do other board games now. Yeah, that's right.

No, we're going to do a yak cherry after dark clue. Oh, I love that. That's great. Full size clue. I would love that. Yeah, I think it went really smooth. The kitchen and the dormitory. Yeah.

Yeah. One of those situations. I chose to go the college route in life and ended up as a farmer. That's probably a good life, though. I don't remember. How does Clue work? How does life work?

You have to go room to room and you get to look at somebody else's card every time you go into a room and then you have your checklist. Got it. It's a game of elimination. KB, did you get shock collared did it work on you it's not that bad

not i'm not really they don't turn it up felt like a little pressure yeah the when they do it the full way oh yeah they should have done that to me kyle got like no real punishments you got pie in the face you got a an exotic wife i assume that tweet you sent out was a punishment yeah that was kind of hard i didn't like doing i saw that and was like what's going on oh yeah they're doing a jerry aft shark yeah the oh my god the i could not do this for the life of me oh what five dizzy bat to a layup 15 seconds and a layup. I was 0. Oh, my God.

0 for 5. You want a redemption? I'll never get it. No. Come on. I don't think I... Yeah, let me try it. Yeah, come on. You got this.

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This can't be that hard. It is. Being dizzy is... Sucks. It's really hard. Okay, ready? So where do you go? Five around?

15 seconds. 15 seconds. Give me a... Put up a timer. That's a lot. 15 seconds is Put up a timer. That's a lot. 15 seconds is a lot of revolutions. Rotations or revolutions? You ever do dizzy bat at the Beer Olympics kind of thing?

Oh, yeah. It's fun. Man, I threw up spaghetti once. A whole pile of it. Were you nervous? That's a pretty fun thing to throw up. Yeah, it was like a hole. It came out right as it went in.

All right. Ready, KB? Three, two, like a hole. It came out right as it went in. All right, ready, KB? Three, two, one, go. You're supposed to put it on the ground. Oh, he's really spinning, though. Yeah, he's good at that. Very smooth spin. Two, one, go.

Yes, never mind. Two, one. Go. There's just no way it's that hard. Oh, damn, there it is. There's the bat, there's the ball. No, that's not. You'll be dizzy for the rest of the day. Come on. No, I got. I'm going to have to step in.

I have lunch with Don. See, it's not that hard if you slow down and really try to make it. You can't slow down, though. That would be cheating. But if you just, yeah. So if you don't slow down, it is hard. You have lunch with Don? I just need an excuse.

Lunch is with Art. All right, I'm going to go do it. You got to spin like the Dickens, like me. They probably don't. He's going to get it easily. I hope he doesn't do too good because then this is going to have to be a daily thing that we have other guests coming to compete with. Right, right.

All right. Three, two, one, go. Makes me a little nervous. Wow, he's spinning too. Really good spinning. Oh, he got dizzy fast though. Keep spinning. Oh, he got dizzy fast though. Keep spinning. Four, three,

two, one, go. Holy shit. Holy shit. I was wrong. I was really wrong. That was worth it. Oh, my God.

Hand up. Hand up. What was wrong? It's kind of freaky, right? That's fucking really hard. I felt myself going over, and I couldn't stop. I just couldn't stop. You got dizzy at, like, third rotation.

Oh, my God. And that's just your brain juices just getting all twirled up. Yeah, is that what it is? No, no, no, no. I just couldn't stop. You got dizzy at like third rotation. Oh my God. And that's just your brain juices just getting all twirled up. Yeah. Is that what it is? No, no, no, no. Come on. Wake up dizzy.

You can't be worse than what I just did. I just fell over. No, no, no, no. I did. I think honestly this would be a medical emergency. Thank you. Come on, Brandon. Blackout dizzy for the rest of the day. What do y'all not get about the frequent pain and the possible diabetes? We got to for the rest of the day. What do y'all not get about the frequent peeing and the possible diabetes?

We've got to keep the rest to a minimum. Holy shit, that was hard. Titus, go do it. Are you still dizzy? He'll get it. Yes. He's going to get it. Really got to spin like the Dickens.

Thank you. That's the only rule. Kyle, I apologize. I don't think I'd ever get that. I don't think I'd ever get that. I don't think I'd ever get that. I think you both aggressively spun. But that's the whole point. You have to do that.

You have to spin really hard. And you have to go hard after. Because, like, yeah, if I just stood still. Just, like, go as hard as I can. And then go as hard as you can. Yeah. All right. All right.

Ready, set, go. He's spinning like the Dickens. Look at his hair. That's not really like the Dickens, guys. No, spin faster. It's the Dickens. Now it's the Dickens. Oh, now it's the Dickens. Five. He's gonna fall.

Two, one. Alright, he's got it. Oh! No! Oh! Oh! No! Oh! No. I couldn't tell. Did that go in?

Did it go in? No, I don't think it did. All right. Yeah, this is a good thing. Yeah, go, Brandon. Come on. Someone's got to get it, though. Yeah.

I hurt my leg. I think Nick will get it. Wait, why are we letting the crippled guy do it? Nah. Che, you're up next. Someone's got to get it. Getting dizzy like that is a vibe. Dude, it's crazy.

Yeah. Oh, my God. It's kind of like a high. It's kind of like a drug. Yeah, maybe. I know. I'm on record. Could you die from getting dizzy?

I haven't done that in forever. Could you spin so hard? I'm going to get dizzy watching y'all get dizzy. It's silly as fuck. OD on dizzy. Count them down from the studio. What else can we do? Let's do some dizzy shit.

One, go. That's good spinning. Very fast. Good spinning. I'm going to pregame to the bar tonight. What's the bat doing in this extra shot? I never knew. Five, four, three,

two, one. Go. Okay. He's got it. That was close. That was about like his layup would normally be. Steven, get out there.

Someone's got to get it. What can we do? Can we do one-on-one dizzy competition? I would like to see several people get dizzy and then try and run to the other end of the gym fastest or something. Yeah. That's really hard. Yeah.

Did you not do it last night? No, I didn't have to do it last night. That's impossible. You were pretty good, though. It was close. You were falling. I was not do it last night? No, I didn't have to do it last night. That's impossible. You were pretty good, though. I was close. You were falling. I did not. I was not faking anything.

No, I thought you were going to fall. He did fall. How sick would it have been if making yourself dizzy unlocked basketball ability? You just picked it up and just started hitting every shot. Like Mike. All right, you ready, Steven? Ready, Steven?

Spin like the Dickens. Doesn't matter which way right? you gotta go the right way 3, 2, 1, go faster that's not the Dickens go the other way there's good spinning

the bat just makes you look stupid I don't think the bat's doing anything I think the bat you're supposed to keep. Yeah. Yeah, the bat's cool. I don't think the bat's doing anything. I think the bat you're supposed to keep on the ground. Yes. You're supposed to be lower, yeah. Go! Oh!

Oh! He froze! He froze! Holy shit! Oh no! Holy! Yes! Yes!

It's hard! Oh man. Let's go Brandon. Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! yes yes it's hard let's go brandon you froze in time fell in slow motion oh wow yeah neither did i it makes you feel better that I'm not.

I've got like sick. I was. Yeah. I've been dizzy so much. Yeah. Oh, man. Nick, you look the smoothest when you did it. I did not feel good. Remember, spin like Dickens.

You guys are mean for this. Okay. He's going to have to go home. Okay. Lock in. Ready? Set. for this okay he's gonna have to go home okay lock in ready set go he's moving he's doing drill mom I'm on he's gone go faster spin like the dickens go faster His leg froze on him. It's impossible. Holy shit. Oh, fuck. Oh, no.

This is great. All right, Brandon, how you feeling? It's fucking hard. That's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. God, you should feel zero. Now I feel like an elite app.

Yeah, you went five times. It might actually be impossible. That room was just a spin. I need somebody else. I just called in someone. What other challenge could we do? I want to see Lockwood do it. Oh, yeah.

Good call. I also want to see Max do it. Yep. Could we get White Sox save. Oh, yeah. Good call. I also want to see Max do it. Yep. Could we get White Sox save? Oh, yeah. Yep. Max, we're doing dizzy bat, trying to score a layup. Okay.

So you got to spin like the Dickens. Yeah. For 15 seconds, and then right away go grab the ball and try to get a layup. Got it. So far, Brandon, Steven, and I have not even made it to the ball. Titus almost made it, right? Titus almost made it. Nick almost made it. Where am I?

Did I hit the rim? I don't know. Front rim? No one's made it. Oh, really? No one's made it. Do you think writing your own name would be hard? 15 seconds, so go in the seconds, so I'll tell you.

So go in the middle, and I'll tell you when to start. You got to really spin like the Dickens. From here? Yes. Really spin like the Dickens. I'm pretty bad at this. The Dickens. And then when you're done spinning, you have to just go.

You can't pause and get yourself. All right. He taught you to spin like that. Okay, you ready? All right. My dad was a crook. Go. Spin faster.

No, he's spinning. He's pretty good. He's spinning. He's good. Keep going. 10 seconds. Oh. He's pretty good. He's good. Keep going. 10 seconds. Oh, we're getting ass. Whoa.

This is going to be good. Keep going. Faster. Keep going. Two, one. Go. Lay up. Oh, he's got the ball.

He's dribbling. Oh, he's dribbling. I think he went too slow. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. He's dribbling. Oh, he's dribbling. I think he went too slow. Oh. Oh. Oh. I thought I was going to fall. Yeah.

I don't know how you did that. All right, good try. Sorry. No, you did your best. We've got to try to find one person who can do this. Someone's got to get it. Plotman. Can I throw a theory?

I know Kate's hurt, but I bet a woman could do it before a man could do it. I agree. I think y'all have different decisions. What about making the layout? They're used to it. That's true. Maybe if it was like a cake instead of a layout. Should we see who could do this, or we just get a woman to make a layout?

We should put a coupon on the ball. Yeah. Then they won't let go of it. A QR code in the skin. All right, Blotman, go ahead. This is going to be a disaster. He's wearing shoes today. Oh, Mike.

Yeah, he looks like a Verizon. Mike, Mike, get it. Mike, get it. I said he looked like a used car trainee. Yep. They told him to dress up and that's what he came up with. Blotman, wait. Let Mike go first, and then you go.

Mike. Mike, we're doing Dizzy Bat. And then Mike just has to keep bringing the high noons back there. Yeah, you. Is your name Mike? Oh. Oh. Like that?

That was powerful. That's not an enemy I want. That's not an enemy I want. 15 seconds. You got to spin like the Dickens. Yeah. And you can't, Mike, you can't pause. You have to go straight from the bat to the ball.

Four of us have fallen down. He already looks dead. Everyone fall down? Nobody's made it. Four out of Four of us have fallen down. He already looks good. Has anyone fallen down? Nobody's made it. Four out of six of us, yeah. All right. Ready, set, go. Spin, faster, faster.

Ruling of Dickens? Faster. Now he's Dickens-ing it. Keep going, five seconds. His leg is already... Oh, three. One, two, one, go. Lay up. Five seconds. His leg is already... One, two, three. Two, one. Lay up.

Lay up. Lay up. That was tough. This is the best. That was a thump. You can see it in his face, too. What just happened? Ah.

Yeah. I got work to do. I got work to do. Oh, fuck. Oh, all right. This is addicting. This is so addicting. All we need is one.

Yep. We just need one person. One person who can do it. Fell right there. Okay, ready, Liam? Not really. Okay. Okay.

That means he is. All right. Both hands. And really spin like the dickens. Ready, set, go. I don't know why. Woah. Woah! Oh.

No, that's too big a spin. That's too big a spin. Yeah, too wide. Quicker. Keep it tight, keep it tight. This is a whimsical spin, not a dickens. Go! Go! Woah! Oh! Go! Whoa! Oh! I feel so much better. It just automatically goes.

I wasn't so crazy now. The manner in which these dudes fall. Dude, once you start falling when you're dizzy like that, you just can't get back. There was nothing I could do when I was going. This is the best. It never gets old. This is the best.

I think we might not get one person. I want to go again. But I think we've got to keep going. Yeah, we've got to keep going. I hate feeling dizzy. I must throw up. I kind of like it. You like feeling dizzy?

It's like a different mindset. It is kind of like feeling dizzy? It's like a different mindset. It is kind of like a high. It's like a quick high. It's a weird high. Shooting up. If I catch you like spinning the bathroom. I'm more optimistic when I'm doing this. I was all happy.

Yeah, it was like a visceral body. Oh, my God. Dude, if we got to the bars and you're just like, I'm not drinking, then I walk in the bathroom. I might start doing that. That with a few Moscow mules. Save money at the bar. Go in the bathroom and spit.

I swear. Hold my drink for a second and just start spitting. Spin, do a shot. Dude, my bar tab, I'll be hammered. My bar tab will be like 15 bucks. Yeah, let's go. I don't know if Spider can get dizzy. No, I think he might. Oh, look at that. He can spin. I think't know if Spider can get dizzy. No, I think he might.

Oh, look at that. Oh, he can spin. I think he's going to get crippled. Wait, rules, rules, rules. Like the Dickens. Spin quick. What does that mean? Okay.

You ready? Oh, oh, oh. Whoa. Okay, Don. Yeah. All right. Three, two, one, go. Whoa. Whoa. He's fucked. Yeah, he's. Yeah, All right. Three, two, one. Go. Whoa.

He's fucked. Yeah, he's. Yeah, he's. I think he's going to bounce when he falls. Just relax. Spin. You got five seconds left. He might start propelling.

Two, one. Go. Move, move, move. Oh, shoot. Uh-oh. No. It's move. Oh, shoot. Uh-oh. No. It's impossible. He did good.

He did do good. I like that the bar now for doing good is just not falling. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, getting the ball. He's a lower center of gravity. Zah. Yeah, true.

Zah. Zah. Get in there, Zah. Didn't we do this this other one who else didn't we make him do a I think we made Zaha

get dizzy is Stephanie back there scoring a soccer goal oh my god that could be funny trying to kick Stephanie's not bad at basketball

and she is a woman those are two I think a woman will get it first those are two if we let them have a turn Stephanie you want to get up there Those are two. I think a woman will get it first. Those are two. We let them have a turn.

Stephanie, you want to get up there? Che freezing was so good. Just started to move. Nobody asked for this or wants this. i looked up the science behind it you got liquid in your ear you start spinning the liquid starts spinning you stop the liquid keeps spinning oh it's an ear thing so your body there's hairs in your ear and when the liquid that's interesting moves that the hairs get excited and so the liquid keeps spinning around in the hairs and so your brain's like we're're still spinning oh yeah so there's really no way to fight it at all you just screwed yeah uh by the way draft kings it's kentucky derby time are you ready for the greatest two minutes in sports saddle up with dk horse an official draft kings affiliate right now new

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Go right now. We also have a PMT JJ Redick parlay for the Mavs Clips game tonight on DraftKings Sportsbook. So go check that out. Who's coming up, Brandon? Megan, let's go. I thought y'all were getting Stephanie. I thought Stephanie was coming. Maybe she's not.

Or Zah. Can we see Malasek goaltend Dizzy? She's going. Malasek! I'm down here. Malasek's going to do it, and it's going to piss me off. He's going to do it looking good. Malasek got walked twice last

night can we put him in the goal dizzy swing it up and somebody gets to shoot shoot on him all right stephanie That's Stephanie, Brandon. Yeah. All right. Potato, potato. They're all women. This could be a female thing. Could be. I want to do two people do it.

One quarterback, one receiver. Just dizzy challenges. All right. Ready, Stephanie? All right. Here we Stephanie? All right. Here we go. Three, two, one, go. Uh-oh.

She's spinning. Very low. Very low spin. Great for him. Good spin. She seems okay so far. You got five seconds. It's a Quidditch athlete right there.

Two, one, go. Oh! Airborne! She went airborne! Okay. All right. It's not a women's team. Yeah, not at all.

We have them beat at that. What was that? She got up with Airborne. How do you see a replay, TJ? Oh my god. Like she got shot with a shotgun. A sniper.

That was incredible. Holy shit. Oh my god. Look at this. They all look like they're doing it on purpose. Come look, Stephanie. You got to see yourself. I was like, oh god, there's three seconds left.

Here, CJ's got it. I'm like a fish. Come on, go. It looks fake It looks like Pretending you just got shot That was incredible I got Megan and Shep Don

Oh okay Oh Shep Don Ruined the fun You gotta take his shirt off first Please Everyone falls the way That they spin In the direction

Yeah I wonder why that might be You gotta try a 360 layup the other way. Yeah. I want to see Mike go again just because he's such a masculine man. The fact that a dizzy bat beat him. Oh, he got a little dizzy. If you watch Mike's replay, he almost took out his gun.

Fucking bat. Fucking pussy. He's so funny if he started shooting. It was his instinct. That would be if we all had paintball guns in each corner of the gym and had to... Everything's better dizzy. Yeah, yeah. All right, Megan.

All right, I got Stephanie. Okay, here we go. Three, two, one, go. Okay, that's fast. Yep. Oh, my God. Uh-oh. Oh, no.

Yep, this is getting wobbly. Five seconds. Two, one, go. she's got it oh oh oh oh oh she must fell wow that was close oh man that was pretty good can i I throw out an idea? Yeah. Mintzy's waiting on standby for instructions. Steven, what did we text about? Come on, man. Oh.

Okay. I mean, how is that? I have a devilish little plan. Steven. Get it together, man. Oh, Donnie's like... Lock in. Are you still dizzy? Okay.

You guys aren't? I want someone to do the football pass with me. Okay, I'll do it with you. All right, ready, Donnie? Here we go. Three, two, one, go. Oh, my fucking God. Get it lower.

Charis. Oh, shit. Holy shit. Oh, no. One go oh my fucking god get it lower Thank God it's not 1849. He just hit dirt. Can we not bring that up anymore? I'm sorry, man. I was driving up to Madison and I just, like, I was sitting in my car. I saw you tweet it. I said fucking 1850 for floor. Just with my own thoughts, just being like, what are you doing, man? Get it together.

I think Malasek does it. This is so, like, we have to have someone do it. Who would have thought Dizzy Bat would be this addicting? Damn. All right, ready, Malasek? Okay. Three, two, ready, Malasek? Okay. Three, two, one, go. Good.

A little faster. A little faster. A little faster. There we go. There it is. There it is. Artsy camera angle. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. Keep going. Three, two, one, go. It doesn't count. It doesn't count. Oh, my God. He's still trying.

No. Hell no. Too long. Took you too long. What was he doing? It was like an orangutan dance. It looked like an orangutan. It needs to be all in one movement.

All right, Kyle, you want to do the football pass? It's just going to go atrociously wrong. Oh, it's going to be so bad. What's the route? Can we start next week? Yeah, you want me to throw? I'll throw. Chad's also suggesting that you just don't tell anybody when the timer ends.

Just see how long they'll spin. No, that'll, that'll. Thinking about that, I think everyone probably thought that in the back of their head when they were spinning, like, are they going to fuck with me? Yeah. Wait, sorry, Kyle, you might know this.

You ever done that where you look at the sky when it's dark at one star and then you stop and you shine a light in your eye and you can't, you paralyze, you fall down instantly? What? You should try that.

It's called star tripping, star tripping. You got to do that. Yeah. I would love to do that. Oh, I didn't know about that. Yeah, well, star tripping. I've never do that when we go to your podcast. Oh, I didn't know about that. I've never done that. Nice little appearance from Donnie. Yeah.

Do we need a second bat? I feel like the bat doesn't seem useful, but that it's probably pretty hard to spin without it. Get a golf club. Yeah, it keeps up a point, I guess. Yeah. It's a fun one. Yeah, this is a lot of fun.

I haven't recovered from spinning. Yeah, I still want to do it again, but I also don't. Can I throw something out? Yeah. They're about to do a pass route. There's a lot of obstacles out there. Yeah, it's bad. This could get, I feel bad about it. They're not going to make it route? There's a lot of obstacles out there. Yeah, it's bad.

This could get, I feel bad about it. They're not going to make it more than three steps. No. Both of these were fall guys. No, Kyle wasn't a fall guy. He was a run guy. He was a run guy, but boy, it wasn't. But Dan was an immediate fall guy. But all he has to do is pass.

That seems difficult. Big cat makes me nervous. Oh, look at that. God damn it. Oh, he's wearing the guts torture too. He is horny. All right. We're going to start about here.

Are we going to get... TJ, you good on the cameras here? This won't be easy. Yeah, I think you've got to stand next to me, TJ, you good on the cameras here? This won't be easy. Yeah, I think you've got to stand next to me, though, and run out. Yeah, with the bat. And Titus is going to be the rush in. TJ, tell us when. Oh, they might collide.

All right. Are you ready? Yeah. Three, two, one us when. Oh, they might collide. All right. Are you ready? Yeah. Three, two, one, go. Wow, Kyle's really spinning. Oh, my God. This is going to rock. Eight, five, four, three, two, one, go.

Oh, no. one, go. I was ready. Damn it. He's a fall guy. If you're a fall guy, you're a fall guy. There's no shame in it. Could the best high school team beat a dizzy Alabama? I think so. I think so, too. I'm a fall guy. There's no shame in it. Could the best high school team be to Dizzy Alabama? I think so. I think so, too.

I'm a fall guy. I had no chance. We're fall guys, buddy. There's, like, no chance. Kyle needs another run guy. Titus, you were a run guy. I'm a run guy. Can you go again right now, Kyle?

We need some time. Do you want to pass or run? I'll pass. All right, yeah. This is straight up fall guy. But I have a bad history of throwing footballs on the show. Oh, yeah. Oh, man.

But I'll do it. Dizzy. Sorry, Kyle. Yeah, that was – Yeah, I don't think Kyle should go back to that. I got sacked. Yeah, that's not going to happen. Che, you go run a pass for Titus.

Well, he's a fall guy too. I know. I want to see him fall again. Stop freezing. Do you want me to do the bad or just talk to Che for a little bit before I throw? Titus, the last time you threw a pass? Yeah. Yeah, I have a spotty history with this.

It's tough knowing you're like, I didn't know I was a spotty history with this. It's tough knowing here. Like, I didn't know I was a dizzy fall guy until now. You're an immediate fall guy. Immediate. The no chance. I knew it the minute I let the bat go. I was like, it's over. I'm down.

What are you looking for, Steven? This isn't like a real football. Oh, my God. He said, this isn't a real football. Nah. That'll make all the difference. That's going to matter. Oh, man.

What do you want to do? Throw a catch? No, Titus is quarterback. Yeah, he's got 4'2 speed. What are we talking about here? What are you doing? Just running straight? It doesn't matter.

He's going to drop a play. Drop a play. He's going to drop a play. Depends on what coverage they're running. Are they blitzing? Move back a little. Try and hit me anywhere along the way. Who's all upstairs teaching?

I want everybody to do that. Everyone has a... I want to see Eddie. Everyone has a unique reaction. It's fantastic. I wonder if you can train yourself over time. Yeah, I'm sure like Air Force guys. Yeah, they do the skinny thing.

Ballerinas. They do the head trick cheat. Who does that? The ballerinas Oh yeah They like Always bring their head back to the They're actually writing up a play

If you fall left over there You're gonna fall Who's up It's not gonna matter No of course it won't Junda Junda Rudy

Danny Oh no What if we made Ryan do it Oh Ryan's already a pass out guy He's a pass out guy Yep Ryan Tell Ryan? Oh, Ryan's already a pass out guy. Ryan, tell Ryan. Tell Ryan. Let's go get the pass out guy. Yo, yell for Ryan.

Yell for Ryan. Ryan. Yeah, Ryan. I want to see the pass out guy. Long dick style. All right. Okay. Ready, boys?

Yeah. Here we go. Oh, God. Move away from the machine a little bit, Titus. In case you fall. Yeah. All right. I'm not a fall guy.. In case you fall. Yeah. All right. I'm not a fall guy.

Oh, okay. You're fine. All right. Three, two, one, go. Oh, my God. Frozen again. Go faster, Steven. Faster, Steve.

Faster, Steven. Oh, my God. Faster. There he goes. Five seconds. Faster. Two, one, go! Oh, frozen.

Frozen. Oh, good route! Oh, is this the best? This is the best! He froze! He was so frozen. China fell, like, covered in an earthquake Frozen Steve

He just freezed Did the ball hit your hands or no? No They hit the ground at the exact same time So frozen The best Oh man What? You moved a little bit right? Yeah but you started frozen

And you kind of sideways shuffled While frozen Let me see a replay Steven was great. I thought there was a chance. Steve just stopped, though. Yeah, he just was. Continue the route.

He's got it. Oh, yeah. Frozen. Frozen. I'm not going to run. I'm going to escape the world. Frozen. All right, Connor.

I keep thinking someone's going to be good at this. No one's going to be good at this. What the fuck was that, Brandon? I didn't launch that. Okay. Ready, Connor? Sure. Three, two, one, go. Whoa, whoa.

Oh, no. Whoa, whoa. Boy's never spun. What are you doing? He's zigging and zagging. What are you doing? He can't spin. What is that?

Boy can't spin. What is that? Go. Go. What is that? Boy can't spin. What is that? Yabba yabba yabba yabba! Go! Go! What is happening? What the? What was that spin? Holy shit!

That was the most theater kid thing I've ever seen in my life. That was bad. That was the most thespian move I've ever fought. That was the worst one. That was the worst one. That was Peter Kinnison. Oh, man. Oh, I got someone I want to see real bad. Oh, they're here.

Yeah, Clifty Martino said, I just want to see White Sox Dave's hair after he spins the balls. It might be, like, really put together. He said, I just want to see White Sox Dave's hair after he spins the balls. It might be like really put together. He said it might just fall right off. All right, Rudy. Junda might be okay. He has dyslexia, correct? Yeah.

We keep saying that, but there's no one who's been even close to okay. No, this is almost just human anatomy. You just can't do it. This might even him out. All right, here we go. Am I just going to be able to read perfectly? Three, two, one, go.

Faster. Faster. I bet you Joey Langone could do it. Why, that wasn't hard at all. Oh, shit. He didn't finish the spin. Extra five seconds?

Rude. Oh. Two, one, go. Layup. No, layup. No. It sucks. It sucks so bad.

I want to see more people fall. It's like going fast. Oh, there's Ryan. Oh, Ryan going fast. Oh, there's Ryan. Oh, Ryan. Yeah, Casey, yeah. Ryan, you're up after Casey. No, you don't have to have the back to the ground. You have the back to your head.

Yeah. All right. Oh, God. Three, two, one, go. Faster. Faster. your head yeah yeah all right oh god three two one go faster faster oh she's going oh she's going really fast now she's going really fast okay oh my six five four three two one go go go go oh wait Oh. Oh. She almost went past the ball. Dribble. Where are you going?

Dribble. Oh, Jesus. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Tate. Tate. I think Tate's going to get it. Yeah, I think. Listen. We keep saying that. I think he's got it. Somebody's got to get it.

Slow down correctly and get their bearings. Shout out to Tate. He put up a zero. Oh, my God. Hey. One of the worst dozen performances of all time. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

Wait, wait. Hold on. No. Mean graphic. Okay. Wait, wait. Hold on. No. Mean graphic. Okay. Here we go. Three, two, one, go. Good spin.

High bat. Yes, he is up a little high. Will that make a difference? Three, two, one go I need sound effects on that it's so humbling you just look up and you're like god damn it this is like watching those goats that have seizures. Delight. Have you,

Ryan, when's the last time you passed out? Vegas. Oh no. I forgot about that. He's a pass out guy. Why did he pass out in Vegas? He just passed out. Oh.

Okay. Alright, ready Ryan? Maybe, yeah. Okay. Here we go Ready, Ryan? Maybe, yeah. Okay. Here we go. Ryan is like the nicest person ever. Put the bat to your head. Two, one, go.

Pretty fast. Uh-oh. Yeah, he's going down. I'm so sure of it. Oh, he's going right down. He's done. Three,'m so sure of it. Oh, he's going right down. He's done. Three, two, one. Oh!

Bear crawl! What? That was a downing, too. Oh! That was in his head. Better than expected. Way better than expected. Let's see if he gets back up.

It's not over yet. I think I'm out. All right, expected. Let's see if he gets back up. It's not over yet. I think I'm out. All right, well, let's yak, and then when Eddie and them come out, I want to see Eddie and White Sox Dave. Oh, they're on the way. Okay, great. White Sox Dave is going to get mad. This is fucking stupid.

He's going to try. Yeah, he's going to try. Where is Fasoli? That was who I texted. Oh. I want to see Fasoli doing his shirt off. I think he's gonna try Where is Fasoli That was who I texted Oh I want to see Fasoli Do his shirt off I think he's gone Where

I'm not sure Just doing his job Have you been watching It's a 15 seconds Spin around Oh Oh Cocky Cocky Cocky It's a 15-second spin around. Oh, cocky.

Cocky. Cocky. Start spinning? Yeah, hold on. Hold on. Put the bat to your head. All right. Bat to your fucking head.

Three, two, one, go. Spin faster. Oh, come on. All right, Dickens. Dickens reached. Yep. Faster. Three two one go All right Dickens Dickens reached yep Faster faster Oh five four three faster Lost yards. Got sacked. What? Lost yards. Lost yards. No.

Finish the job. Nope. All right, Dave. Where's Eddie? He's up there. He's hiding. Tell Eddie to get up down here. Ed being summoned next.

Dave's going to be the fastest spinner, right? We might have to put a cash prize on this. I know. I hate your use of we there. I'm good. Take your hat off. No. All right, here we there. I'm good. Take your hat off. Alright, here we go. Three, two, one, go.

Oh, bad spin. Oh, no. His eyes are closed. His eyes are closed? What is happening? What are these spins, dude? You have to have your head down. Go. No they're not! What is happening? What are these spins, dude? How are- why- Chop!

You have to have your head down, dude! Go! Go! Go! Uh... He- No! No!

Cheater! Cheater! Not spin! Asshole! Why would you cheat at that? Wait, uh, ruling of Dickens. No! No!

And he had his head up. You have to put your head down. You have to put the... Your forehead has to be on tight. Why are we surprised that Dave had trouble spinning? I don't know. I thought he was really good. You got to put your head down and keep your eyes open.

He didn't have his head down. Oh, boy. He fell backwards. I told you. Here we fucking... Here we go. I told you. Here we go. I told you. Eighth grade, boy. Oh, here we go. You fell backwards. I told you. Here we fucking go. Here we go. I told you. I told you.

Here we go. I told you. Eighth grade day. That was the most predictable thing ever. Are you going to let me know when I can stop? Yeah, we'll tell you. All right. All right.

Three, two, one, go. Faster. Move, move. Faster, Donnie. Good, faster. Dainty little steps. He does. It would be great if Donnie just started speaking Chinese.

Three, two, one. Go. Fuck. He's still spinning. He's still spinning. Get the ball. Get the ball! Get the ball! He just kept spinning!

He couldn't stop! He couldn't stop spinning! He kept spinning! Oh, he did that too. This is so good. Oh, my gosh. Dave, would you like to go for real? He knows he can't.

He can't resist it. I thought I did. Eyes open. My eyes were open the whole time. Spin really fast. Is this good? Put the bat on your forehead. But practice a spin.

And then, yeah, right there, like that. Yeah, but faster than that. Yeah. Fast. That's not even close to what you did, Dave. Don't look at us like. All right. Here we go.

Three, two, one, go. Better. There you go. Faster still. He's doing too much stomping. There we go. Let's make him go an extra couple seconds. Yeah. Okay you go. Faster still. He's doing too much stomping. Let's make him go an extra couple seconds. Okay.

Seven. Five. Busted. Four. Three. Two. One. Go.

That's more like it. There we go. That's more like it, Williams. Now we got our justice. Yeah. Okay. Brandon, beckon Conrad. Yeah. And get Eddie down here. Eddie can't say no to this.

Oh, we got to make it. I want to see how Nicky's professional athletes. He's not here? No. Where's he? Harry. Oh, Tom Legg. Oh, Harry, Tom Legg.

Tom Legs everybody Lance Ebo everybody upstairs Tom mandatory Tom and his cool voice you want me to

scream yeah I guess I'll fucking spin. Brandon's parenting right now. Yeah. I'd love to see it. He's making his kids spin in the yard tonight. Eddie's hiding. Eddie is hiding. Eddie is hiding.

Go get him. Hiding. Been a lot. This is Eddie. You can't hide on this. We all look stupid. Paige is here. Paige out here.

I think Danny's getting Eddie. All right, good. I want to see Eddie. I wish I wasn't in pain. I'm going to try. Move. You want Eddie? You can do it.

Tom? You want Tom? Tom, yeah. But what was your stat line? Evo? Two for three. Evo's hearing this. What an average. Let's go, Bobby.

I don't feel right after that. You have to put them in the back. I got 15 seconds. 15 seconds to spin as fast as you can. Wait. I don't feel right after that. You still don't? I still feel a little fucked. Might have been the second spin. All right, ready, set, go.

Spin, Tom. Faster. Faster. Oh, fuck. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Faster Go Tom! Yeah, that counts. A double fall. That had murderer vibes too. Yeah. I love when they keep spinning. I don't know what to expect from Eddie.

I do. Hold on, hold on, hold on hold on alright he's excited ready the boy's excitable set go

faster faster not Dickens at all faster faster Eddie he's faster Eddie that's all we got

five seconds how is his lower half spinning faster it's so much faster go go oh oh That's all we got Dickens wait that mean oh you get hurt Yeah, duh White Soxx, Dave. What do you want? We don't do shit to see us succeed. People have hurt themselves. People have hurt themselves. And you enjoy that.

Where's DC? I'm the one worse. What is Dave? Lance, go ahead. Brandon wants people to be dizzy. What an asshole. Only White Sox David wouldn't figure this out. We have a lot of people in the blankie. Only White Sox statement wouldn't figure this out.

We have a lot of people in blanky. Three, two, one, go. Go, go, go. Very fast. Oh, he's very fast. And smooth. But he's too high off the ground. He's too tall. He's center of gravity.

He's going to go down. Three, two, one, go. Oh, Lance. Whoa. Yeah, that was good. He was the best. That was the best. He was the best.

Oh. Lance. Paige. All right, we'll end with Paige Paige Then we'll yak some more This is This is addicting It's so addicting We need a highlight tape Connor Griffin

If you're listening Just get a highlight tape Of everyone's falls Stephanie wins fall of the day Yeah Yeah Oh my god yeah How many seconds is it? Stephanie wins Fall of the Day. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God, yeah.

Pause. How many seconds is it? 15. I think Paige has experience with a dizzy bat. All right. Oh, yeah. Three, two, one, go. Oh, yes.

Yep, and staying low. Go spin. Faster. Holy shit. Eight. Good spin. Faster. Holy shit! Eight-seven seconds. Five, four, three, two, one, go! Holy shit! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! That was pretty good. That was good. That was pretty good. That was good. That was pretty good. That was good. All right. Yeah. That was fucking fun.

Amazing. I don't know why I have like... Chill with that. Chill with that, bro. Oh, Quigs. Gotta see Quigs. Gotta see Quigs. Gotta see Quigs.

Ebo. Would Ebo be good? I got Quigs, Evo, Matt. Evo. Would Evo be good? I think he would. He's athletic. He's an athletic guy. All right, have all four of them go. Hey, listen, we're going to just abuse this today. Yeah, yeah.

All right. We're on Quigs, Evo, Cody, Geno. Evo, MVP of our game last night. Geno for Nino. Got five. Evo, what do you do? All right, let's go. Line up and go. Home run? I think. Gino Fornino. Ebo, what did he do? All right, let's go. Line up and go.

I think he hit like three home runs. Ebo? He also is like wrapped in gauze today. He slid into second and just ripped his leg open. This sounds like a blast. You got to wear a sweatpants. So much fun. Yeah.

All right, here we go, Quigs. Ready, set, go. Ready, set, go. Oh, Quigs. Whoa. Wow. He's going to the moon. He, set, go. Oh, quick. Whoa. Wow. He's going to the moon. He's doing NASA mode.

He's doing NASA mode. Oh, he's going NASA. Oh, shit. Go. Go. Houston. Straight NASA mode. Mayday, mayday. Oh. Houston. Straight bass.

Mayday, mayday. Fog, it blew up. Where's Commenter? They're doing macro dosing. Ah, him and Big T. Oh, Big T. Oh, Big T. I don't think Big T's here.

No, they're doing macro dosing. Let's go, Ebo. This one might do it. Yep. All right, Ebo, ready? 3, 2, 1, go. His spin is fast. Oh my god!

What the fuck? Like Michelle Kwan. He knew he was going too fast. Look at his neck. 3, 2, 1, go. Layup. Oh. Ebo? Look at his neck, look at his neck. Three, two, one. Layup. Emo?

Alright Henkel. Damn. That was definitely the most spins within 15 seconds. Yeah. We keep saying it. I'm gonna get it right eventually. I feel like Henkel has never spinned before. All right, here we go.

Three, two, one, go. He's all business all the time. He has spinning shoes. He's stern. He doesn't have time to spin. Faster, goddammit. Out of the way, Brandon. Five, four, three, two, one.

Go! Oh! Freeze! Oh, Chae freeze. Chae freeze. He's going extra slow motion! Oh! Oh, that was such a great game.

Super slow motion. That freeze was so good. And for the people watching, submit your own, please. Oh, man. All right, Gino. Gino Fornino. Yup, yup. Oh, yeah.

Let's go, Gino. Yeah, I got you. Ready, set, go. Oh, this ain't going well. No. Pitter patter. Five, four, three, two, one. Doesn't know where he is.

Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Oh, no. Yeah, go for it. Oh, shit. Everyone's so different, it doesn't get old. Oh, man.

Is that everyone in the office? I can call Barstool Barstool. Lucassey? Oh, this is Lucas's idea. Lucas's thing. Lucas. Lucas. The second Blutman has hit the tower. Oh, he's fretting already.

He's nervous. He's always so nervous. And he'll apologize for the interactions. It'll only be weirder. Yeah, I'm sorry. What? He's boy Kate. Yeah.

All right, here we go. Three, two, one, go. Whoa. Oh, fuck. Goddamn. All right here we go three two one go whoa oh fuck god damn Coattails spin right off the coat. Oh my god. Oh, there's a go. She go five four three two Long row a long trek. Uh-oh. Oh my god. He added more spins. Simply pathetic.

He fought hard. Okay. Cody, that sucked. Alright, Lucas, you'll end it. Oh, he's still... He's still spinning. Yeah, he's end it. Oh, he's still. He's still spinning. Yeah, he's still spinning.

It was Lucas's idea. Do we need like a sensor bar for this one? He's got the thigh tattoos. Look at these shorts. Oh, my God. I love Olivia Rodrigo. All right. Three, two, one, go. These shorts are so...

Yeah. Faster. Flower and faster. They're so tiny. They're so small. They're not just short. They're tiny. See every ligament in his legs.

Three, two, one. Oh. Oh, Lucas. Lucas. No. Oh, man. Lucas. No. Oh, man. No. All right.

We're good, Brandon. That was everybody. That was everyone. And nobody can do it. Good job, everyone. Oh, my God. That was fun. Oh, did you hurt yourself?

Hank. Yeah. Oh, no. Hank is not here right now. Oh, that was fun. I do feel a little fucked up. A little bit. I have secondhand dizziness.

You never went, Mook. Let's move this spinning chair out here and then have you just do the layup. We'll spin you. Yeah, where's the wheelchair? Okay. I know you're a little hurt, but I feel like you kept playing softball last night. You could probably. For an inning.

I will have you do it when you get uninjured. How many at-bats did you have after the injury? Two. No, I don't want you to get injured again. Two for two. All right, all right. No, you can't. You're right. You're probably. For a knitting. I will have you do it when you get uninjured. How many at-bats did you have after the injury? Two. No, I don't want you to get injured again. Two for two. All right, all right. No, he can't. You're right.

You're right. I'm with Big Cap. Moo can't do this. No, no. He's. I don't want you to get injured. Yeah, he can't. No.

He's. He can't do it. No, no, no, no, no. You can't do it. Don't be injured. There's no way. There's no way. Sit back down.

Just walk to the rim. Sit back down. Don't make him. That walk walk to the rim sit back down make him Those nice Over here over here. Oh look you're walking better. You know dainty mode This isn't gonna go well, I just want to talk about something else yeah, you don't going to go well. You all just want to talk about something else? Yeah. You don't even have to show them. No, no, no. Ready, set, go. Oh.

This is a waste. He's doing good. Take this off. Kate, stop lying. He's going faster than White Sox Dave. Let's make him go extra. Eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. eight seven six five four three two one lay up oh no no it's it's the simple things in life boys it really is Oh boy Golly jeepers Oh no It's the simple things in life

It really is Wow Nobody's helping him up Attaway Mook Lutman did the bare minimum Kate? Fuck no Absolutely not this is a treat This is a treat.

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Should we address the thing Stephen addressed? Mm-mm. Okay. Mm-mm. Maybe at the very, very end? Mm-mm. I wasn't in here. Stephen, a very classic Stephen move.

Okay. Oh, man. Fun. Brandon, how do you feel? Good. I mean, I was no different than anybody else, so I felt good about that. I guess I fell immediately. Kyle, do you feel better now?

Last night you said you went over five. I thought I was. That was just a miserable, terrible performance. No, you were actually really good. I'm actually really good. Anyone who got to the rim was a success. Anyone who got to the ball was a success to me. I think I'd do that 100 times. I'd fall every time.

I don't see how you wouldn't fall. Yeah. You fell? Immediately. Is there a way to get used to it? Can you train yourself? Like spicy foods? Yeah, like Air Force pilots probably.

Or like casual drunk drivers? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. That was a lot of fun. That was too much fun. What do you got on the prep sheet today,

Steven? Let's see. Let's see. If you had the power to be invisible, in what non-creepy ways would you actually use it? You would use it in all creepy ways. There's no way you would use it in anything but creepy. Yeah, being around people without them knowing is creepy by nature. No matter what you're doing.

What's your answer, Steven? I feel like sneak into sporting events. That's creepy. That's creepy. That's not creepy at all. You're stealing. I mean, that's criminal. I'm on chase. It's not creepy. You're not That's creepy. That's not creepy at all. You're stealing. I mean, that's criminal. I'm on chase.

It's not creepy. Yeah, not creepy. Yeah, it's not creepy at all. Yeah, but he would go to the locker room. Yeah. No. Yeah, he would. You'd sit on the bench.

Yeah, I'd probably sit on the bench. Yeah, you'd just go to Jalen Brunson's lap. Big win. You would go into the Bucs locker room. No question. Yeah. I could do that with normal normal skin you would i don't think you can with normal skin i can do that with normal skin i can do that with normal skin

what's normal skin steve my skin yeah oh man normal skin you'd sneak into someone pads. You'd be someone's jock shop. Tristan Wirth's jock shop. He's bundled up all around the dick. Can somebody draw Che as a cup? All right, what else? Why is soda harder to chug than beer or seltzer if they're all carbonated? All right.

I don't think it is. When was the last time you chugged a soda? I couldated. All right. I don't think it is. When was the last time you chugged a soda? I could chug a soda. I don't know. Maybe it's more carbonated. It's definitely spicier. Ooh, spicy.

I heard somebody adding the little tiptoe sound effect. Did you guys hear that? I think I did. Ooh, I like that. I like that. I, uh... What if we got Fart Eliminator today? You gotta have one in me. I do.

It's not us. Oh, everybody. Every single person has been on the act. Oh, brother. Do we have to do a whole office wheel for the web wheel? Yeah. Every single person has been on it. Spin it. Yeah. Every single person has been on it. Spin it.

Yeah, spin it. Yeah. I'm kind of rooting for something. I want fart. Towel whip could get problematic. Oh, my God. Oh, that would have been awesome. I feel like we should say it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, he called it. Yeah, you know. I don't know. No? Gives him power. Does it give him power if we say it right at the end and end the act?

Hang up. No, we're not going to talk to him. Just saying why I think he wins I think he wins I pass You think that makes him win? I for one don't like being told what to do Ever

That's just my free independent American spirit though Let me just read it again There's too many adjectives Oh yeah being told what to do. Ever. That's just my free, independent American spirit, though. Let me just read it again. There's too many adjectives. Oh, yeah. That's just my spirit, though. Don't tell me that. Look at the time stamp on it, too.

Look at this. What time was it? Can I ask? 4 a.m., right? Mm-hmm. Oh. 3.21 a.m. Central. I was getting ready to wake up.

Yeah. That account profile picture is so funny. Yes. Yeah, you guys are right. We're not even going to address it. Good. Because that's what he wants. Hmm.

All right. Yeah, no, we can't. All right. Okay. By the way, Friday, fellow Friday is on. Fellow Friday is on. It's on. I have a collection of cretins.

Oh, you do? They'll make you gasp. Yep. Oh, I got one more thing before we go. Yesterday, the worst thing in the world happened to me. I was walking out of the front door, and the security guy goes, hey, man, there's a package for you from Amazon, and there was only one Amazon package on the – look at Nick.

Look at Nick sitting up in his chair. There was only one package on the rack. So I walk over to the Amazon package. I pick it up, and it says Nicholas Teraney. Oh, no. package on the rack so i walk over the amazon package i pick it up and it says nicholas teraney oh no it dawned on me that the security guy has now confused me and nick with one another wow that's what it is and i didn't have thanks you're nick yeah and and in the same vein as mook not having the courage to tell hank to take him to his house i didn't have the courage to be like oh no that's not me i was like i guess this is responsibility. So I took the package. I was leaving to go home. I then had to walk back.

He took the package. I had to walk back into the office to try to find Nick. It was devastating. They confused us. It was very devastating. Thoughts, KB? I don't know, man. I don't know if that was it. I just had to get that off my chest. I know it's out there.

Thank you for the package. It was adulting for dummies. Great book. I'm collecting every four dummies. What's the dumbest dummy? Decluttering for dummies. We fit for dummies. Everyone's dumb.

Yeah. I have Swahili for dummy upstate. That's hard. That's hard. Unless you know Swahili. dummy upstate that's hard unless you know Swahili yeah Jombo come again

Jombo means hello in Swahili Jombo back TJ people want you to do the the busy so go do it So go do it End the show with it Come on

They want to see it We got to give the people what they want This dude said jumbo Not even close Not even close One Not even close. One letter. Jumbo. Jumbo.

I'm correct. Perza. What? What? How do you spell jumbo? I have no idea. Okay. Oh, shit, it is.

He is right. Fuck. Fuck. All right, TJ, ready? Three, two, one, go. Faster. Faster. He's pretty good.

Could be faster. Staying low. It's pretty good could be faster staying low it's a good spin three two one go oh gone down goes hitch I feel that. All right. We'll see everyone tomorrow. We got Fellow Friday coming, and we're also getting KB into a bullet. Yes. And we're boozing, right?

Some of us. I'm going to play basketball after, so I probably won't. But you know what? I'll spin the dizzy bat, so I'll feel the same way. So right now I feel drunk. Good compromise. I feel a little groovy. Yeah, a little groovy Yeah A little groovy

Yeah Yeah It's kind of nice Alright please subscribe We'll see you everyone tomorrow It's the act. It's the act. Get your straws, yeah, style a tape for a while. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop. We're doing Yankee Swap. It's the act. It's the act. Man, fuck you guys. No, I'm just kidding. Happy birthday, Trenton Bass and Hudson.

See you tomorrow. Bye. Love you.