The Yak - Don't Let Big Cat Get His Hands on a Golf Cart | The Yak 5-5-23
Episode Date: May 5, 2023HEY! Go back to sleep...You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, hold that up.
Hello.
That's the Yak.
Back.
Row back.
That's a lot of rhyming.
Row back.
Use code Yak on rowback.com for 20% off your first purchase.
I'm wearing the joggers right now.
I feel great.
It's Friday.
Roback.com.
Use code YAK.
20% off your first purchase.
Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.
Hoodies.
Brandon's got the hoodie on.
So does he.
Rico's here.
God knows what he's wearing.
Hey, guys. Hey. Did I miss anything? Go to Mayo? Rico's here God knows what he's wearing Hey guys Hey
Did I miss anything?
Go to Mayo?
No, nothing
Wow
Oh shit
Did I miss anything the last few days?
Not at all
Pretty quiet around here
Big upset in the dozen
Yeah?
Spoilers
Who upset who?
Foreplay
Beat Flux 20 over 2 What the hell? Who upset who? Foreplay beat Flux 20 over 2.
What the hell?
20 to 2?
They beat the Honkers.
Yeah, them too.
Not them too.
They beat the Honkers.
Who's Flux?
That was one of those teams.
It was Clemmer's team.
No, Clemmer's on the Honkers.
Right.
There was a trade.
Flux had the recent.
Is Flux a real team?
Yeah, but it had the recently departed on it.
Oh.
It was Castellani, Mance, and somebody else.
Queen Elizabeth?
No.
R.I.P.
Russell?
She's been departed.
R.I.P.
R.I.P.
Who else just went?
Someone else just went.
Famous.
Someone did just go famous.
I don't think anybody just went.
We haven't had one in a while.
Jerry Springer.
Somebody famous just died.
Yeah.
Jerry Springer.
No, the musician., Gordon Lightfoot.
Yes.
Oh, the Edmund Fitzgerald guy.
Yes, Gordon Lightfoot.
I thought that was Edmund Fitzgerald.
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
I still don't know what song it is, and you did that many notes.
I still can't figure it out.
Maybe some lyrics.
March of that year, and the sun better burn.
Yeah, yeah. And the ship year and the sun better burn.
And the ship sank below the sun.
Great song.
That's some Irish shit.
You sit around with your Irish family members and get drunk to that.
Yeah.
You know they ain't cooking.
They can't cook.
They can't cook.
Cabbage.
Yeah, some scones, some cabbage.
Smallest book in the world, Irish cookbook.
Yeah.
That's true. I'm mom only made hamburger helper.
I can't make shit, dude.
So I can't cook either because of that.
The fish and chips in Ireland are good, though.
They had the best fish and chips in my life.
Big curry and kebab people, too.
Yeah, because...
Was it black pudding?
Yeah.
Was it sausage?
Yeah, blood pudding.
Blood pudding, is that what it is?
Yeah.
What's interesting about the Irish potato famine
is that Ireland is an island.
They could have fished.
Idiots were starving.
I never understood that either.
Just go catch a fish.
You doing a bit?
No, I'm really not.
It's an island.
Yeah, could they not?
The way you delivered it was bit-like.
Go catch a fish.
It felt like it was out of the world with that.
The craziest thing about an island.
You're about this island?
They're obsessing about potatoes.
Go fuck yourself.
Wasn't it? I'm pretty sure
it was the English that were...
Yes, it was a genocide by the English.
They were taking all the food
they had. Right. Yes. I'm a headlines
guy. I never really read. Yeah, no, we know.
We know.
By the way, did you see your
alma mater's got... They're in the news again.
Hold on, hold on, hold on. I have nothing
to do with the baseball program. I wasn't even going to talk about that. Which alma mater's got they're in the news again hold on hold on hold on i have nothing to do with the baseball program well i wasn't even going to talk about that which Alabama okay uh there's like a
new documentary out in my rush yeah i'm very excited to watch it looks unbelievable does i
don't i wonder like if they tricked everyone being like we're gonna do this awesome video
because when i saw the can you pull it up
tj can we play it it looks so intense i i don't know it's on it's it's been clipped and put on
twitter it's like the you think they glorify it or you think they really oh they're definitely
bringing it down but you could tell that like the way they probably told everyone like hey come be
in this alabama sorority documentary and then
they did the old bait and switch i hope that's the case yeah well it all started because this
was my entire two summers ago 2021 my entire algorithm became bamarush and like i'm not
sorority girl like that's not my cup of tea i normally normally am like, oh, sorority stuff. I could not get enough of it.
Every,
my entire algorithm
was Bama Rush
and it became so huge
that they became
like a bunch of the girls,
like it was the girls
doing the Rush.
So every morning
you'd check in with them,
see what their outfit
of the day was,
where they were going,
what they had in their bag
for Rush,
where they-
They had the dances.
And then as some of them
started getting rejected
from the, or whatever, and didn't get it,
they started spilling the tea.
Oh.
And then other shit started coming out
and it became this like, oh shit.
So then the following summer, it was even bigger
and that's why HBO was like,
whoa, what are you getting in on this?
What is some of the tea?
There's the machine.
I know that.
Caleb did a documentary about it.
Yeah.
Did you help with that room.
That's a Caleb masterpiece.
Just like if you were seen holding a cup that maybe could have had alcohol, but there was no proof.
But you were with a frat that they that the group at a whole didn't like.
They would find these reasons to like rules and then the inner workings of the rules and who you pissed off and what you could say and what you couldn't like and the very intimidating politics of the
each sorority became and like the stress on these girls to get into certain houses was so high some
of them were like literally mentally just snapping by the it was like i was so invested in it so i
like sorry i'm excited but faster hitting the wall quickly. Yeah, yeah.
I just can't wait.
I want to watch it.
Yeah, I can't wait.
They have their sorority houses right across from the stadium.
Right.
It's fucking awesome.
And they look sick.
And you can't stand on their porch.
You can't take a phone call in front of their house.
They'll be like, excuse me, can you not stand there?
It's fucking nuts.
They all have their own chefs, their own everything. It has to be like heaven.
Do they fall off afterwards?
Everything is so bad after that.
Yeah, your life.
I really don't know what becomes of that.
I think they all give each other jobs.
It's almost like the secret societies you were talking about.
It seems too fun of a life.
It's literally like the top sororities marry the top fraternities,
and those guys are so well-connected that they're going to be doing well anyway.
It's like a whole...
Continue to thrive. I want to see this trailer if we can see it. Yeah. And those guys are so well connected that they're going to be doing well anyway. It's like a whole.
Continue to thrive.
I want to see this trailer if we can see it.
Yeah.
I would veto playing it.
Why?
It's an HBO product.
So?
Dude, I watch them all the time.
HBO would probably strike the channel.
But you're right by the end of that trailer. Fuck them up.
I'll play in their trailer.
Wouldn't they want us to play their trailer?
Wouldn't it help them?
You would think. All right. Fine. Fuck trailer. I'll play in their trailer. Wouldn't they want us to play their trailer? Yeah, wouldn't it help them? You would think.
All right, fine.
Fuck them.
I'm never watching this thing.
Fuck sororities.
You put out of it anyway.
And fuck Alabama.
Rico stands for all the bad stuff that happens down there.
Not true.
Not true.
That's where any of you.
Rome, were you in a frat?
No.
I was in one for six months, and then I was like, I'm not paying.
This is stupid.
I pretended to hate them, but I would love to have been in one for six months, and then I was like, I'm not paying. This is stupid.
I pretended to hate them, but I would love to have been in one.
Yeah, I think that's how I felt about sororities.
I was like, yeah, I don't want to be part of that by any means.
The ones in the South look awesome.
Yeah.
It's the only show in town.
It looked pretty fucking cool. Yeah.
It'd be hard.
There's lots of shows in town.
Right.
That was Madison.
That was what I did.
Go to house parties.
Go to frat parties.
You do it all.
Joined it and I was like, wait, why am I paying for this when there's all these bars and everything?
There's a lot of good bars.
And I have my friends.
Tuscaloosa has a lot of good bars, I think.
Do they?
Yeah.
I think.
Good bars.
Yeah.
At least before they-
They close at like 1.
It's like a weird-
Yeah.
Or like 12 or some shit.
Like they close weirdly early.
They close at 12 in Starkville. I don't know what time they close in Tuscaloosa. What's their frat life down in Starkville? It's like a weird, or like 12 or some shit. Like they close weirdly early. They close at 12 in Starkville.
I don't know what time they close in Tuscaloosa.
What's their frat life down in Starkville?
It's there.
It's just, it's not dominant.
Does everybody go to house parties then at midnight?
Like what does everybody do?
Everybody will go to house parties, yeah.
Cow tipping?
It was the best was after parties.
Yeah.
Like two to like six in the morning.
Hell yeah.
Running at someone's house.
And also being in a college town where you just, you know no one's going to do a noise
complaint because everyone's a college student.
Just be loud.
Yeah, just be loud and reckless all the time.
Break some plates or something.
Break a window.
All breaking stuff.
We used to throw things into our fan.
We'd turn the fan on high and just throw everything.
It's very dangerous. That was great. I used to light fires. We used to eat. into our fan. We'd turn the fan on high and just throw everything. It's very dangerous.
I used to light fires.
Very dangerous. Strolled fires.
We used to eat Christmas lights.
We would just pull wherever we went to party, we'd pull them down
and we'd just be eating them all night and then the next morning
eating them all night?
Blood all over your mouth.
I don't think you'd get into an Alabama
sorority. I thought that would impress
you guys. That was the thing we talked about last week with the popcorn.
It's always fun making the mess.
You would just finish beer bottles and throw them against the floor.
Oh, the moment.
In a hole in the corner, my buddy would piss in.
We didn't know where it went.
Eating light bulbs have no redeemable quality.
I know, but it was fun.
We'd all pull them down and just pack a lip against your butt.
You were crazy shit.
Yeah.
The moment of chaos
before you have to clean up. Remember
I ate mushrooms once and we went into the woods
and we just brought back the woods.
We all brought back logs
and like huge sticks
and like woke up the next morning and it was like
the woods were in our house. We're like this was
stupid. But that moment
ruled. Sick yeah. Sitting on a log
in your living room. You ever find a really good fucking stick on mushrooms and you're like, I want this stick forever.
Totally.
That's what dogs are talking about.
That's what dogs do.
It was so sick.
I need this huge stick.
Remember, it's so vividly the one that I had that it was like, it looked like a wishbone.
You think you could draw the stick today?
Yeah, well, it was like I could I could
It sat right on my shoulders
Near accuracy
A police sketch of the stick
I miss that stick
You think it's still out there?
No I think we
We broke them up and then threw them out
I guess it's kind of stupid to throw out sticks.
You just put them outside.
You throw a stick in the garbage?
I think so.
Because we had a garbage shoot, so I think we put them in the garbage.
Which is also stupid.
I was thinking about this, too.
Did you guys have a spring weekend at your college?
Where, like, the concerts would come and...
Yeah, like a spring fest.
Okay, yeah.
Like, I went to a really small school.
Like, spring weekend was the nicest thing they did
Because they basically
Were like all weekend
Like you have to be
A complete asshole
To get in trouble
For the most part
No holds barred
Just the fucking best
People probably come
From other schools
They're like oh
It's this school's spring weekend
Kids from my school
Went down to UConn
And they were
The two of them
Convinced each other
To steal the keg
But only one lifted
And he started walking He's dragging it And the cop was like Yo each other to steal the keg, but only one lifted. And he started walking.
He's dragging it.
And the cop was like, yo, what are you doing?
His buddy just completely bailed on him.
He was like, we're in on this, right?
Two hands?
And he just wouldn't do it.
It's crazy.
There you go.
So how's the vibe been in the office?
Nate said that no one knows what to do.
I don't know what that means.
It's been probably low. More than average. I do. I don't know what that means, but it's been probably low.
More than average.
I feel like I don't, yeah.
A little bit of a Babadook vibe.
I don't know what no one knows what to do.
I feel like everyone's just doing what they.
I think there's just probably a word you can't say.
That's how I'm living my life.
Don't lie, boys. I know you have that fear.
It slips. And it just somehow
intrusively slips.
Intrusive thoughts are crazy. Not me, but some of you
probably. It's like standing on a balcony.
Yeah, grabbing a cop's gun. The Hoover Dam, you're like
you have this fear.
What if my brain was like
just go over the railing?
Grabbing a cop's gun was like the ultimate.
What if I just grab it?
Let's just turn off the mics for like.
I mean, the whole situation sucks.
I'm getting crushed, but I don't care.
It's not.
I mean, this is this part of the business.
Are people crushing the comments?
Were they just going after you?
Was the comment section just shit show yesterday, TJ?
Yes.
Is it still a shit show?
Less.
But yeah.
What do they want?
What do they want?
Didn't he say he's better than he's ever been?
He said he's completely unfazed.
Yeah.
That's bliss. That's what he said.
And see?
Yeah, he said he's completely unfazed.
He texted me from a Grateful Dead show last night.
Yeah.
Seven job offers, and that's day one.
So it's like he probably has doubled it.
He texted me and was like, dude, you got to see J-Rad. I was like, I do. Are you there right now? I was like, one so it's like he probably has doubled it he texted me was like dude you got to see j-rad i was like i i do you there right now he's like yeah it's awesome i think you know
maybe you'd love something let it go maybe the super bowl halftime show he rolls out pre-selected
pre-selected list of songs right yeah who's yeah we don't know. Imagine him just coming down from the,
like Sting coming down
from the rafters.
But then like DMX starts playing
and we're like,
no, no.
Yeah, he goes,
stop.
I'm turning it back on.
I'm turning it back on.
Something safe.
Let's say we stick to Steve,
Steve Wynwood.
Yeah.
Wynwood.
Yeah.
Wynwood sounds good.
Michelle Branch.
Michelle Branch.
Yeah.
We'll move forward.
Yeah.
I don't know. It's one of those things always sucks everything sucks he just texted you from a concert not about the whole thing just just about the concert yeah out of
the blue 11 30 at night that's what i knew mints would be fine he's gonna be fine he was like dude
so we're on today's show we're going to announce the most dangerous game show cast,
but he was supposed to be on the cast, and he's like, dude, I'm so glad I don't have to do that.
I was so scared.
He's just terrified.
He's peaking right now.
That's his like, dude, I was so scared.
He's the only one who came out of this entire experience winning.
Yeah, people have.
He's lost the job.
People are mad at Patton.
People are mad at me.
People are mad at Dave.
People are mad at Erica.
People are mad at Barstool.
But Mincy is the winner.
Yeah.
And that is the Mincy effect.
You should open a GoFundMe or something.
Dude, he's like a fucking cat.
He just bounces back.
He could probably make a half million on a GoFundMe or something. Dude, he's like a fucking cat. He just bounces back. He could probably make
a half million on a GoFundMe.
Dude, his whole life
is just like setbacks
and then just incredible re-rises.
It's like pulling a slingshot.
He's got the greatest knack
in the world for it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So he'll be fine.
He's probably going to win
the World Series of Poker.
No, I'm not being a win. That would be a little too much. Yeah, it would be. No, but like, he's got a little bit of World Series of Poker. No, I'm not being honest.
That would be little too much.
No, but, like, he's got a little bit of Forrest Gump in him.
It's like he's just going to win the World Series of Poker.
And then, like, some, you know.
They're not cured AIDS.
Yeah, right.
He's going to be standing next to Steph Curry as he raises his fifth championship.
I know.
I mean, what's LSU's or Ole Miss's chances look like this year?
Poor.
They're not going to make the – they're bad.
They're really bad, both of them?
Yeah.
I don't know, man.
Well, LSU's good.
LSU could be good.
LSU could fuck around and win everything.
Did they beat Bama last year?
They did, right? They did.
That incredible game in overtime.
Mincy jumped in the fucking canal afterwards at the casino.
Yeah.
The lazy man.
He is.
I can't say that word.
Yeah.
Sucks.
Yeah, I mean, I don't really have any other thoughts
other than, like, the whole thing sucks.
Everyone's, it just sucks.
I wish he had been, you know, I was fighting for him to get suspended, not fired.
But if anyone...
The only two things I'd say is there's a little bit of confusion.
People being like, oh, they wouldn't pull our license.
If you watched any of...
We did a two-week trial in Massachusetts trying to get our license.
They brought up everything that Barstool's ever done.
Like they were dragging us.
They brought up all the bad stuff.
So when people were like, would this happen in the past?
And no, nothing happened.
Well, yeah, Penn didn't own us.
So essentially they brought it all up and they were like zero tolerance going forward on this type of stuff.
So that's where like our past does hurt our future somewhat in that it's zero tolerance.
And then the only other thing is like I understand people are frustrated because there's show in particular, and everyone who's gotten hired in the last seven years, is because we've evolved and somewhat sold out.
So, I don't know.
I think the benefits outweigh the negatives.
But people can have their opinion.
People can hate us and never consume us again.
And that's just, I understand how it goes.
People are deeply hurt, and I'm not going to tell them they're wrong.
So I guess that's all I have.
Sucks.
The whole thing was a bummer.
We'll just see him when he comes back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Super Bowl.
I'm just like.
Unless he already has, like, a fucking high-paying-ass government job
somewhere in fucking the machine of Mississippi or whatever.
Louisiana. I mean, the mayor of Mississippi or whatever, Louisiana.
I mean, the mayor called them.
Yeah.
That was so mincy to be like,
just got a great call from the Oxford mayor.
God damn it.
How did intern day go?
Were those real interns?
I still don't know. I don't know if they're interns, but they won an internship
here, right? For like a week.
It was like a crash course on bar.
It was like a reward for them, I think.
You know how there's like payola in the
90s and you give a radio DJ
a boombox or some
fucking jewelry and he'll play your songs?
I think it was like they bought enough
merchandise.
They won the opportunity to pay to do this.
And did any of them show the ability to stick around?
I don't know that any of them.
They didn't get enough taste.
I was impressed with all of them.
Like they were all really good people who were really interesting.
Like the fashion, the comedian, the gambler.
Yeah.
Comedian. I hope you're sittingler. Yeah. Comedian.
I hope you're sitting down.
Woman.
Yes.
Well.
Yes.
The doctor's the mother?
One of those?
Brain twisters?
Great riddle.
That is an incredible riddle.
Great riddle.
It still probably works.
Oh, yeah.
I would still fall for it right now.
Is it again?
I'm sorry. A father and a son get into a car crash.
The son is like really out of it.
They take him to the hospital.
They rush him to the hospital.
The father is dead.
They bring him to the hospital, and they get into the emergency room,
and the doctor goes, I can't operate on this patient.
He's my son.
How is the doctor?
Yeah, that actually seems pretty easy now that you know this.
Remember the two gay dads?
The two gay dads.
Oh, my God.
The first time I heard it, I kept being like, oh, way.
Twisted me up, yeah.
No fucking way.
That's really fucked up now that I'm hearing this.
That was the first time in 15 years.
Yeah, it was his mom.
Yeah.
Everyone has that initial reaction.
They can't figure it out.
It's hilarious that they made a riddle for that.
Women's Suffrage.
Try to prove.
They should get a better name.
That stumps people.
Don't you think Women's Suffrage should have a better name?
I don't like that name either.
What does it mean?
The right to vote?
Yeah, but what did it, where did it come from?
Women's Suffrage.
Wait, the doctor's a ghost?
Yeah, the doctor's a ghost.
Okay.
All right, that makes sense. Okay, okay. It's ghosted? Yeah, the doctor's a ghost. Okay, that makes sense.
He's ghosted.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They took him to a ghost hospital.
Suffrage is such a horrible name.
That's like how people would answer and be like, what?
They're all dead?
Seeing things?
Had to resurrect.
Yeah, it was his only dream, wasn't it? First, yeah, it was always stepson, uncle, I don't know. Grandfather. Yes, uncle. It was his only dream Wasn't it First yeah It was always Stepson Uncle
I don't know
Grandfather
Yes
Uncle
It was a stepfather
It was like
Everyone would get mad
And then they'd be sitting on it
For three or four minutes
And they'd just be like
You sure it's not the stepfather
And they'd finally
No it's not the stepfather
They'd finally hear the answer
And be like
That was stupid
Yeah yeah yeah
Oh
That's
That's fucking great
Women
Yeah it's like Kate calling
What is it?
Old Bridge, North Jersey
Oh yeah, you got people riled up
People were very mad about it
Can you pull up the map?
The HBO map, we can't pull that map
Frank the Tank exonerated me though
Yeah, he said Central Jersey's a myth
Central Jersey's a myth, which I agree on him with
What about Tom's River?
It is a small-ass jersey.
Tom's River is North.
TJ, you'd be nice to me.
I'm from there.
I went to school there.
Todd Frazier.
Tom's River is North.
That's because it's all Giants fans.
It's all Giants fans.
And then South is where it hits Eagles territory, and that's how I split it.
Trenton is mostly, to me, Phillies, Eagles people.
Anywhere North, it becomes Giants and Jets again. And so that's how I did my little...
So wait, you think there's a Central Jersey
TJ? Yeah, there is.
And what's your criteria for knowing this?
I lived there and went to school there?
Kate, you said you went to a
party once? A wedding.
Yeah, so I backed Kate there. In 2009.
And it was North, I got North Jersey.
I'll also say too, I'm like not,
I'm going to tread lightly here, there's a difference in the Italians. Yeah. I got North Jersey. I'll also say too, I'm like not, I'm going to tread lightly here.
There's a difference in the Italians.
Yeah.
Above a certain point.
Some are stinkier.
Where it's a difference.
It gets really stinky at some level.
You might run North Jersey,
don't run your own country.
You know what I'm saying?
There's like a difference between
the North Jersey Italians.
Talk with the left hands,
not the right hands.
Oh yeah, what is it?
I don't know.
It's a more,
I can't quite explain it.
Someone explain...
But it's different than South.
I can't explain it.
For me, it's always South Jersey is more Philly.
Right.
North is New York.
But no, there's no Central Jersey.
That's not...
I mean, what is Jersey?
75 miles from top to bottom?
Shouldn't be...
It's bigger than that, right?
Separate regions?
If you look at Frank's post,
it's way bigger than that.
In the 80s, they split it in half.
300 miles.
Two area codes.
300 miles.
North and a south.
Jersey's not 300 miles
from top to bottom.
What is tip to tip, Jersey?
300 miles?
No, but it's probably like 150.
If you squish the bottom of it down
with the ruler, it's way longer.
How tall is Jersey?
I'm looking it up right now.
100.
How tall is Jersey?
Six-four.
Five-seven?
What the hell?
The important thing is that Jersey is thick.
It's got a lot of thickness, too.
Yeah.
That's like, I remember KFC wrote a blog Like maybe Eight years ago about
Upstate New York and he had it like
Basically like 20 minutes outside of the city
It is, oh no no that's accurate
Anything outside of West Jersey you might as well be in
Fucking Canada, no thanks
No thanks
That's how I feel like the Pine Barrens
Belongs to South Jersey, like that's
You hit the Pine Barrens, the Pineys, that's
South Jersey people, that's people on four the Pine Barrens, the Pineys, that's South Jersey people.
That's people on four-wheelers smoking cigarettes, having a great time.
That's South Jersey.
South Jersey's just right next to you.
Oh, yeah.
Big time.
So, about 75.
But I was wrong, too.
About 300.
I was wrong, too.
What do you think is the state that most people, like, claim –
or area most people claim to be from the most?
Because, like, in college in Boston, everyone was like,
oh, I am from Boston.
It's like, no, you're not.
You're from a suburb around.
Atlanta has a big stretch of suburbs.
Atlanta has a big circle.
Probably Boston, though.
New York?
Yeah, New York's big.
You think LA gets a big part of that?
Who's claiming New York that wouldn't?
Westchester people?
I would consider that.
I dated a guy who was like, I'm New York, I'm New York,
and it turns out he was from like Stony Point, like way up.
Well, no, I should clarify.
If you're from Albany, you're still from New York,
but you're not from New York City.
New York City, Boston.
Remember when Marshawn Lynch got drafted by the Bills
and he thought he was going to New York City?
Got off the plane in Buffalo and was like, where are all the Bills?
The hell is this?
I think that happened to T.O. too.
He thought when he went to Tennessee Chattanooga
that he was going to Tennessee for the Vols.
Why are the colors different?
Can we play any video, T.J.?
What are the rules?
Marshawn Lynch, I think there's a video of him getting off to start his career being like,
Iron Man in Buffalo.
Which makes sense if you're a guy from Oakland
Like why would you know
The difference you know
I don't know
Between Buffalo and New York City
If you've never been there
Like growing up as a kid
I never thought there was
Anything outside New York City
I thought that was like
New York
Right
So I can see
Yeah there's not a lot
They ain't missing much
The Beacon
Beacon is a
Upstate is what
Like 180
Delight
So nice
No I'll give Riverdale You're still in the city but that's
borderline there was a story in a book uh loose balls about the aba that a guy gets on a flight
and where he's looking at the flight log at the airport and it's one of those it was a short
hopper but they went to the time difference so they leave it let's say 126 and land at 113
in the local time and And he's going,
I'm not fucking doing this. I'm not getting
on the plane. Like, what are you talking about? He's like, I'm not getting on
this time machine. You see this shit?
It flipped out.
What are you... You got a little
huffy there. You read the book also?
Was it accurate? That didn't happen?
It was close. Oh, no.
Oh, no. Oh, had it really good.
Why don't you fix it? You got two book readers. It's fine. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, how did it really go? Why don't you fix it?
You got two book readers.
It's fine.
Two bookworms.
I think this is better than a Yakagami.
First time ever in Yak history two people read the same book.
That's never going to happen again.
Never.
What?
I said read the book by Terry Pluto.
It's a good book.
What did I mess up?
It's fine.
It's fine.
Don't worry.
Oh, tell him what did I mess up.
You didn't mess up anything.
It's fine from that book but there's also another book called loose balls by jason williams and he tells a different story
about getting on a plane and going to phoenix and when he got off the plane um he thought the place
had been bombed while he was in the air he said this place has been bombed i can't stay here he
said that i thought when you started telling the story you were telling that story.
You were wrong vibes on a Friday.
Because it was similar to Marshawn Lynch
getting off a plane and being fucked up
about the city. Do a vote.
There's no vote.
I was different.
The Buffalo Bills select
Marshawn Lynch.
His purse is not dead.
I didn't know what to expect.
I just knew I was going to New York.
I thought I was going to be out there with Jay-Z.
And then when I finally landed in Buffalo,
oh, man.
It was like slush on the ground.
It finished snowing.
I ain't know nothing about no snow.
It was like PTSD from that.
That's crazy.
It was slush.
He's a true one-of-one guy in sports.
Did he end up staying in Buffalo for a while?
For a little bit.
Didn't he hit someone with a car?
Yeah, when he stole the thing,
I think.
Probably just skidded out
from all the slush.
Hard not to.
Yeah, that's true.
It is hard not to.
Also, he would have gotten
drafted in April
and he would have gotten
to Buffalo in May or June.
Lake Effect.
Slush in May or June.
Lake Effect.
If you go right at...
April was probably
the first week.
They go right away.
Yeah.
Probably slush up there now.
Yeah, there's still stays forever.
Lake effect shit.
That's terrible.
It's nuts.
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Is Steven sick?
Because this is yesterday's prep sheet.
It is?
Look at the date on it.
Oh, my goodness.
Did I read the wrong ad?
No, he wrote the prep sheet yesterday.
He's in Chi-town, bro. I know he is, but the first thing on other is what is the best flavor of cough drop?
No, he's not sick.
He's got to be.
He's definitely sick. We know Steven well enough. No one thinks of cough drop. No, he's not sick. He's got to be. He's definitely sick.
We know Steven well enough.
No one thinks about cough drops.
You could like,
like one day on the prep sheet,
it's going to be like,
what's the best way to dispose of a body?
Right.
But he was definitely packing
while he made this.
What's the coldest weather
acceptable to wear shorts?
Yeah, he was packing a suitcase.
Or high top shoes on their way out of Passion Wise. He was definitely shorts? Yeah, he was packing a suitcase. Or high-top shoes on their way out of fashion-wise.
Yeah, he was definitely packing.
Yeah, he was packing while coughing.
Questions just hit his brain.
It always is.
What's the best way to-
Oh, if you live somewhere, you could drive a golf cart on the street around town, would you?
Fuck yeah, I would.
Absolutely.
Oh my God, golf cart communities are incredible.
I always wanted one as a kid, the airport one.
Like with the six seats, you drive your kid.
I had a dream as an 11-year-old, drive your friends to school.
I know.
The neighborhood.
That was your dream as an 11-year-old?
Yeah, dude. It was.
Simple goals. I wish I was 11.
Simple goals.
Yeah, that's doable.
I feel like that's still on the table.
I wanted to be a firefighter.
That's not a job for everyone.
Odd.
His intern is a firefighter.
21.
Where?
Chicago suburbs.
100 miles outside of Chicago.
Mali?
Suburb?
It's far.
I don't think.
It's not far.
I'm living out.
It's Iowa or Indiana or Wisconsin. A volunteer or what? Suburb? It's far. That's what he, I don't think. That's how far I'm living out. It's Iowa or Indiana
or Wisconsin.
A volunteer or what?
He's a full-time.
Full-time?
Yeah.
Isn't Steve Buscemi a?
He was.
55 engine.
That's pretty sick.
Was he a volunteer?
No.
He was full-time?
He came back during 9-11,
yeah, to volunteer.
That's crazy.
Go back,
dig on the pile, yeah.
Didn't tell anybody either.
The press got it years and years later.
I think he's the voice if you do, like, the audio tour at the 9-11 museum.
I think he's, like, one of the –
Yeah, he's a stand-up guy.
Yeah.
Yeah, the golf carts, though.
Who would not want – like, golf carts and go-karts,
even after you get your license, are still fun and unique.
I think you have to add on the airport cars, too, to that.
Very few ever get the chance to ride one of those.
Yeah.
That seems awesome.
Do the F1 guys start out go-karts?
Yes.
That's pretty sick.
There's like F3, F2, F1.
They go all the way up.
They're all small.
You start as a little boy.
They're small in stature?
Yes.
They all are like...
Jockeys?
Not jockeys. they're a little taller
than that and a little bit more to them but they probably are like max verstappen like when you
watch them on drive to survive you're like oh he's a big guy he's probably five nine like a buck fifty
oh that's it yeah you gotta be light yeah there's women f1 yeah Where they all go against one another, or do they compete against the fellas?
No, there's no rule to have women in F1.
Did you meet Ginger Spice?
I did not.
They take it very seriously.
Obviously, it's a lot of money and support involved,
but Christian Horner is a pretty intimidating guy.
Didn't want to joke?
Not really.
Look at this thing.
This thing's fucking bowling.
Oh, yeah.
It's cool.
That's like a Disney car.
I'm not seeing that at an airport.
You don't need the roof on the airport.
That's true.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're right.
You can go pretty fast, too, some of them.
The airports are just the Marshawn Lynch show,
but the airports are like the ones that Marshawn Lynch ghost rode
after the Cal game.
We took golf carts.
Find that clip, TJ.
That's a good one.
Golf carts the night before we graduated college
and drove them into the chairs in the fucking reception.
Really?
Ruining all the reception?
Not the whole reception.
They just had to reset them back up.
Like bowling.
Yeah.
Devious behavior.
The night before we shot the video at Notre Dame
where we snuck in.
Marshawn.
Oh, this is fucking sick.
This is after a win.
We're watching that one.
Can we watch
the out-of-control golf cart?
Yeah, I want to watch
that one.
Cowboys, yeah.
I want to watch that one.
That was so awesome.
Actually, if we're watching
the out-of-control one,
can we also watch
people getting hit
by golf carts?
Because that was
the funniest phase ever.
Foreplay built their whole brand off it.
They were so mad.
They put a bounty on rigs.
Oh!
Oh, no!
Oh, my God!
That guy is now driving.
Oh, my God!
What a stupid move!
He almost killed himself.
Was it a pylon that did that?
Yeah, a pylon. Look at that again. Yeah, this guy ended What a stupid move. He almost killed himself. Was it a pylon that did that? Yeah, a pylon.
Look at that again.
Yeah, this guy ended up in the cart.
One guy got his head rolled over.
Phil Leotardo.
Oh, my God.
Oh, that.
Look at that guy stretched out.
It's not funny, but it's so funny.
Did they get fucked up?
Did they put a bounty on Riggs that if you can do it to Riggs.
Yeah, it was like $20,000 or something.
Riggs is like, I'm going to start carrying a gun.
I was in a wedding, and they had golf the day before,
and the bride put a big, like, don't fuck around, don't do it,
you're not ruining the wedding.
Everyone's like, all right, all right. But it was one of those phases that it's bad,
shouldn't hit people with a golf cart,
but when
i saw the videos i laughed every time every time every single time so you hear like the sound of
like a light ass motor i golf with my dad sometimes and he like can't see and he dropped but he drives
the golf cart and we went up there was this curb that like progressively got way higher into like a
fence and i was like we're about we're about to run we're about to run right through the middle of that but i didn't want to
say anything and we drove up right on it and the golf cart was like i have a great picture of us
standing next to it we had to like get it off the it was a whole thing golf carts are a really great
time yeah why isn't there professional like or competitive golf cart racing. That'd be cool. I bet there is somewhere. Like a charity event.
Oh, yeah.
I mean.
What?
I mean.
It's funny.
We would kill for this era now.
I know.
That's got to hurt so fucking bad.
So bad.
You can afford to golf.
You have to be reserved.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
Jesus.
No. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Oh! Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Well, that was fast.
With his dick out?
Wait, what happened?
Oh!
Sneak attack one was so fucking funny funny I did not see that coming
You planned that more than the golf outing
Like how we're going to get them
I think that's the point where women fell behind in comedy
We weren't doing that
We needed to be running each other over with golf carts
Good start doing that. Yeah. They needed to be running each other over with golf carts. I want to run Hank.
Stars, yeah.
Good start.
Does Steven ever get, like,
super personal on these things?
Like, what's,
hey, what's the longest
you could go fighting
with a spouse?
Like, does he put
that shit on you?
He does weird shit.
Probably.
Or it'd be, like,
health things.
Like, he's done more, like,
if you have an infection
in your foot,
how long do you go without seeing a doctor?
Six months.
Just let it go. Just chop the foot off.
Deion's fine.
Yeah.
He just let that shit go.
Like his recruits.
Like
every single player that played for Colorado.
The one left, though.
The one was like, I'm not getting let go by you.
I'm out of here.
Yeah, quit before you're fired.
Yeah.
He did a good spring game.
He was out of there.
But everyone's like, you won't give up the tape.
You never give up the tape.
What do you mean?
Like, people are, his recruits who are leaving.
I don't think coaches want to see practice tape anyway.
I mean, that's not.
It's like you're going to give away your practice tape
to another program?
Like your playbook?
Yeah, no, you can't do that.
Never give away your practice tape like that?
Shit just doesn't make sense.
Say what you want about Dion, but come on, man.
Dude, Pat Bev, you guys are going viral
like every day now.
It's crazy. They keep on talking about it on the news.
50% don't like basketball?
I know. I wonder who he's actually talking about. on talking about it on the news. 50% don't like basketball? I know.
I wonder who he's actually talking about.
I think it's every big man.
That's what I wanted to know.
I wanted to know who he was thinking of.
Every big man.
Yeah.
Like Joel Embiid, it's got to suck to be him.
I think that's more common in major sports.
People hate it.
Especially basketball because it's at a certain size. They're yeah, especially basketball because it's like at a certain size,
they're like, you play, right?
You're playing, right?
Like when you're young, it's like you've got to play.
It's like, damn, I don't really want to play basketball.
What sport do you think is most percentage hated by you?
Wrestling.
You were an outcast and a dork if you didn't hate it.
Really?
I also think, wow, you're all over the place, Rowan.
Look at you.
You have a plan for your life.
I think football linemen.
You're going to ask him about nachos?
Football linemen have to be in the top.
If he washes his hands.
I bet there are a lot of golfers that just fucking hate being out there.
Oh, yeah.
Grinding for what they have to do.
Who loves it the most?
Like relievers, pitchers.
Yeah.
Middle relievers.
Golf ball, too.
Like getting hit over and over.
I would dread that after a while.
I'd be like, fuck.
Yeah, no.
Linemen just having to bash. But football, fuck. Yeah, no, linemen just having to bash.
Football is exciting.
Yeah.
For the linemen.
No, offensive linemen, they probably hate their life.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
And they also have to be like 60 pounds overweight at all times.
All the linemen.
Notice how quick guys lose weight.
Guys look so much better when they're higher.
Joe Thomas.
Yeah.
Even Taylor right now.
He looks good.
He looks very good.
But it's got to be, like, and they all say it.
So, yeah, they have to, like, stay fat.
Right.
Joe Thomas is like, my body hurt with how fat I was.
And just every day there's, like, a 6'6", 280-pound dude slamming into you.
Trying to fist fight you.
Yeah.
While also trying to throw you to the ground.
Basically, UFC every day.
No highlights.
I would start to dread that pretty quick.
Yeah, only lowlights.
Only chaps.
Only when you miss a block.
Yeah, only chabing like you missed that block.
Multiple Eagles players, Brandon Brooks, like, had bad anxiety.
Like, he was missing chunks of games.
I think Lane Johnson missed games.
Dude, remember when we interviewed Lane Johnson before the Super Bowl
and he showed us his leg?
Yeah.
He's like, yeah, I probably need surgery.
Like, it has not been – it hurts all the time.
And that's for years.
Yeah.
Years straight.
And he's just like the best in the league.
That shit sucks.
Yeah, that's – you got to –
I think –
I bet boxers hate boxing.
They have to.
I don't know.
I mean, I can't enjoy it. If you're really good at it it's probably you have to be
yeah unless you're the best yeah but the all that you're talking about the top they probably hate
camp yeah like fight camp they probably hate because all those guys i mean practice the ai
like practice don't you think now too like they've got to be like wow in 20 years my brain's gonna be
jelly like don't you think they're very aware of that now?
Or no, they don't care.
If they get rich enough, I don't think they'll care.
I also think there's just, whenever you're in your 20s,
you're just, nothing will ever.
You don't think about your future.
Your invincibility.
That's true.
Yeah, they should have NFL League for 50 plus.
See how that goes.
That would be awesome.
I would watch it.
Seniors division?
Yeah.
There is like a Juco player who's like 50.
Oh, yeah.
I've seen that.
I feel like I'd like to listen to them mic'd up more.
Yeah, that is awesome.
Older.
Oh, the older division.
Like an old people game.
Having a big three for football would be awesome.
Yeah.
Big seven.
Guys break hips. He's out three for football would be awesome. Yeah. Big seven. Guys break hips.
He's out for the season with a hip.
It would be awesome.
Why not?
I've said that before.
There should just be a channel you just get a glimpse in on anything competitive.
It's not professional.
A really heated softball rivalry.
Watch that.
Watch people play.
As long as they're putting their own money on it, too. I think
two guys going head-to-head longest drive for
$1,000. I'd turn into that for $5.
Do you use TikTok? Yeah.
You get a lot of that. Stick on TikTok. Stickers pie?
What? What do you like to watch?
My algorithm
is
movie clips. Kitties? Full house.
Let me see it handed over.
Brandon's is a real... Hockey. Hockey fight? Let me see it handed over. Sounds like there's some titties. Brandon's is a real.
Hockey.
Hockey fight.
Let's see.
First five.
God.
Damn it, Pete.
Sounds like there might be some titties, Rico.
I'll tell you.
I mean, here.
Home buyer.
I want a basketball court.
Andy Milonakis.
Andy Milonakis throwback.
Sopranos.
All right.
That actually plays.
Oh.
Live.
Live.
Oh. Go back. Dude, she's live Sopranos. All right, that actually plays. Live. Live.
Go back.
Dude, she's live.
You get a live every once in a while.
Titties.
She's very those.
Chick-fil-A sandwich.
Cutting a wrap.
Wait, what was it?
Oh!
That's parent.
This looks like mom content.
Yeah.
I don't know how.
Yeah.
Big hands.
Well, Mother's Day is coming up.
Right.
What?
Home improvement.
Think about mom stuff. It was an ad. Gotta get my coming up. It makes sense. What? Home improvement. Think about mom stuff.
It was an ad.
Got to get my mom something.
This weird thing.
NYPD.
Fat guys.
Man, he's putting you to shame.
Fat guys.
Basketball.
Very happy with mine.
There's enough women here.
The titties are in the mix.
You've got.
You've got.
Hey, look. Maybe it heard me speaking.
Look, two kids in a basement playing basketball, this other thing.
Yeah, yeah, it must have.
Yeah, I must have picked that up.
It does.
You don't think the phone listens to you here?
Oh, of course it definitely does.
It's like 40 deep though.
That's a good number.
Some good numbers here, too.
Brandon, why don't you do the Outback read?
You love Outback.
I don't have it.
I can tell you.
Oh, whoa.
Outback is.
Runaway golf cart.
Look at this.
Is it a pond?
Oh, that was awesome.
Wow, that pond got deep quick.
Yeah, it really did. Did that cart come apart?
It's still going.
No wonder
they were distracted.
Whoops.
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I didn't eat the Tim Tam brownie cake.
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They got us with this salmon today.
Salmon's terrific.
And some rice.
Blackened, was that blackened salmon?
Yep, blackened salmon.
I don't know what blackened means, but I love it.
Grilled? Charred?
No, it's not just grilled, though, because you could have grilled.
I think it's a specific blend
of herbs and spices.
Almost like a jerk chicken. I feel it's a specific blend of herbs and spices. Spice, yeah.
Almost like a jerk chicken.
I feel like that's blackened kind of.
I know.
Good.
Jerk chicken isn't named right.
Jerk chicken is way hotter than it sounds.
Always, though.
Jerk chicken's hot.
Jerk sounds hot. You can't decide what's hot.
Jerk sounds hot.
Jerk is like an intense name.
Jerk is intense?
Yeah, you're spicy.
I think jerk is goofy.
Jerk store.
Jerk? Yeah, like goofy chicken. Goof jerk is goofy. Jerk store. Jerk?
Yeah, like goofy chicken.
Goofy?
Well, jerk is like a jerk.
I don't think a jerk is.
A jerk is like an asshole who's rude to people.
Like you get jerked by the chicken.
I think it's Steve Martin and the jerk.
He's not.
No, that's not what.
It's jerk store.
Jerk store called and they're running out of you.
I think people don't use jerk a lot anymore.
No, jerk's kind of a good one. Jerk store called, and they're running out of you. I feel like people don't use jerk a lot anymore. No, jerk's kind of a good one.
Jerk.
It's funny how words like jerk and suck,
like they're just part of the lexicon,
but they're really talking about penises.
Like you're a jerk-off.
True.
Or you suck dick.
Like that's like what's...
Oh, yeah.
Or like this guy sucks.
Like you really mean he sucks dick.
I always get more emphasis when you say jerk-off with a G.
Guy's a jerk-off. Yeah, that is me. I never thought emphasis when you say jerk off with a G. Guys, a jerk off.
I never thought of the word jerk coming from jerk off.
Me neither until Rowan just said it.
A gluck.
Couldn't jerk.
You're a gluck.
Yeah.
A gluck 9,000.
Yeah, of course.
People are always saying.
Always saying getting called glucks.
What do you think the stall pal was going to be at that wedding?
Oh.
Oh.
Who is she marrying?
Is he big? I think he's an executive. Yeah, I was going to say at that wedding. Oh. Who is she marrying? Is he big?
I think he's an executive.
Like B.O.? What type of wedding would it be?
He's maybe a movie producer?
He doesn't seem like a guy
who's a plumber or anything.
I feel like that's got to be
a destination wedding.
Like they do a whole
weekend. Where was she from originally? Connecticut? No, Philly area. Really? Yeah. Like they do a whole weekend. Where was she from
originally?
Connecticut?
No.
Philly area.
Really?
Yeah.
P.A.
P.A.
She was a soccer
player.
Like she's like
like Northeast
Philly or something
like that.
A lot of famous
people being soccer
players in the reality
world.
Sammy Sweetheart.
Sammy Sweetheart.
Yep.
Yeah.
Sammy Sweetheart.
Socks Morgan.
Harley Lloyd.
Oh.
A lot of them
Brandi Chastain
But they were soccer players
Better get them a repino
A lot of them
Hope Solo
Alex Morgan
I already said that
Oh you did
Yeah I did
A lot of famous women
Started off playing soccer
Oh we just named a shitload of them
We got 10
That was probably a damn near
whole damn soccer roster.
Close to 10.
Close enough.
The 10 neighborhood. I think the Women's World Cup
is this summer.
They're odd years.
Yeah, is it, Sar?
I think so.
It was every four years.
What's up with Arsenal? You guys suck.
Bro, we bottled it, man's up with Arsenal? You guys suck.
Bro, we bottled it, man.
You bottled it.
We fucking bottled it, man. That's sick to say.
Yeah, that is kind of cool to say.
What does it mean?
Bottled it.
Had it.
You bottled it.
You smashed over the head with it.
Ready for mass production.
Suck off a bottle.
Break it.
Like a bottleneck.
Yeah, no.
At one point, we're 11 points ahead.
Oh, man.
How many points are you behind right now?
So City has a game in hand.
We're one point behind.
So if they win their game in hand, we're four.
Not great.
Shit.
Yeah, look.
Australia and New Zealand.
Sick.
They're both hosting?
Yeah, that's like the next World Cup is North America.
Oh, yeah.
Canada, Mexico, and U.S.
Mostly us, though.
It is mostly us.
But it's not in Chicago.
No, we didn't get it.
I don't know why.
It doesn't make any sense because it's in all these other random cities.
It's like in damn Columbus or something like that.
Yeah.
Chicago can't have everything. You've got to leave some stuff for the rest of us. It's like in damn Columbus or something like that. Yeah. Chicago can't have everything.
You got to leave some stuff for the rest of us.
It's true.
What are the cities?
Can you pull up the cities?
LA.
Vancouver, Mexico City.
Goddamn New York, Philadelphia.
Seattle.
Denver, maybe?
No, maybe not.
Miami?
Probably.
Astro?
It's a little toasty in the summer. Miami's hot. It was hot. It was humid. I was there yesterday. Miami? Probably. Astral? It's a little toasty in the summer.
Miami's hot.
It was hot.
Humid.
I was there yesterday.
It was hot.
Vancouver, Toronto's good.
Toronto's basically good.
Guadalajara, Mexico City, and Monterey.
We're going to need a breakdown from Nadeau.
Atlanta, Boston, Dallas.
Yeah, Kansas City.
All of our hot places.
Yeah.
San Andreas, Miami, New York.
Probably just like Soldier Field sucks so bad. Really? San Fran, Houston. Yeah, Kansas City. All of our hot places. Yeah. San George, Miami, New York. Probably just like Soldier Field sucks so bad.
Really?
At least San Fran, Seattle.
No Miami.
Holy shit.
I was there.
Oh, what?
It was on the top line.
That's going to be sick.
Is the crowd just going to be pretty bad compared to normal or what?
What?
With the World Cup in America, would it be mostly American fans?
I believe so, yeah.
I think we've gotten bigger.
So the rest of the world is probably pissed about that.
No.
No?
You think that they're pissed that it's in Qatar?
There's a lot.
It's easier for the rest of the world.
The last two were Russia and Qatar.
So foreign fans were worried about visas, getting visas to come in.
Oh.
It's in five years or three years.
But sex traffickers are probably licking their chops.
It's harder than you think.
It's probably going to be wild easy for the sex traffickers to get visas.
Like, oh, I'm coming for the World Cup.
Come on in.
Sex trafficked.
Visa for you, visa for me.
What is that?
Is that 24?
Six.
Six, yeah.
I don't know why they don't do it every two years.
More of good things.
What is the four-year thing?
So much changes in four years?
I think they just did because of the Olympics maybe
The Olympics should be every other year too
Every other
It is
Why the winter
I mean
The winter Olympics really the Olympics?
What are y'all doing this weekend?
Chilling
Hard
Yeah?
You earned it brother I stood up I was so we were in miami and we
were watching the game at a bar still had to record pmt and i looked at my watch and i was
like if i go to sleep right now i can get seven hours of sleep and i still had like three hours
left in my day there's no worse feeling that sucks when you have an early flight and you just
wake up constantly being
like, am I missing it? Did I miss it?
Yeah, you can't even get the good rest.
You know what's bullshit? It's scheduling the Uber
for that flight early.
I got fucked on mine.
Scheduled it the night before
and then you're waiting and
it depends on availability.
It's not a guarantee to show up.
I don't even bother. That's bullshit.
How do you sleep, Rico?
Me?
Yeah.
Well, night terrors.
No.
Yeah.
Really?
Is it falling asleep
or you continuously wake up?
Rico, Rico.
Night terrors.
He just said he has terrors.
Do you have trouble falling asleep?
I can fall asleep fairly easily, but.
I think he's, I don't,
you can tell me if I'm wrong,
but maybe it's changed a little
since the Rico 2.0 has been unveiled,
but I'm sure that the night terrors for a while
was just you doing an episode of Pick'Em every night.
Nah.
Like, screaming about me and Dave.
I have a recurring nightmare
that I fall asleep at the wheel.
I've had that.
Wake up and just...
It's bad, dude.
Like, you know when you were like poor in college
you go
right after college
you go away
everyone splits a hotel room
there's like four people
in a bed
yeah
yeah like
my buddy tells a story
it's a girl
him
and the other girl
and then there's room
for a fourth
so I go up
I think I was in between
the two girls
my buddy's like
to the girl
like yo
do you want me
to switch with you
like he's a little crazy
like and
she's like
what do you mean
he's like
you'll find out it's true as shit I was screaming like, what do you mean? He's like, you'll find out.
I'm sure as shit.
I was screaming in her face in the middle of the night.
Maybe that's involved with the falling asleep at the wheel.
Maybe that's involved with the pressure of control.
Yeah, maybe.
Pressure of being in control.
That's like when Hank and Clem went to Latvia,
and they had never met before,
and Hank said that he woke up in the middle of the night one night,
and Clem was just screaming at the top
of his lungs, dead asleep
in a Latvian hostel.
The fact they put him in the same room is so funny.
The fact they also had never met
and Dave was just like, you're going to Latvia
with Clem. Oh, this was when
Hank was to do content?
No, he was videotaping.
Oh, Bill Coleman.
Before he was running the show. Just woke up and Clem was just screaming at the top of his lungs, dead asleep.
Oh, man.
I was at a party sleeping in a basement once with a bunch of people, and one of the guys
had night...
I've never heard anything like it since.
I'd never heard anything like it before.
What does it sound like?
Like your spider scream throughout the night.
Just...
Yeah, I swear to God, he was...
And his girlfriend just was like, fine fine just sleeping next to him and i
was laying there like what the fuck or you wake up you wake up screaming from a bad dream like
it was screaming still think it's real like i'll grab my wife and be like fucking torture almost
like yeah the dream when the dream gets like super real and you think it's like legit it was a lot of
this too like ah ah like those kind of like ah like clearly they
were going through something and i was like do i wake this guy up do i like i decided not to but i
had to go upstairs and like find somewhere else to sleep so it was i've never heard anything like
that before i don't scream i just walk i used to wake people up at uh sleepovers and parties and
i'd be like hey go back to sleep.
Melt back into sleep.
You do that on a road trip when one guy's sleeping and everyone just on the count of three screams.
That's fucked up.
That's real fucked up.
Jerk the wheel a little bit.
Speaking of the wheel.
You got to hit the wheel.
Wow.
You want to hit it?
Before we do the wheel, can I talk about what I'm doing this weekend?
Yeah.
Flying out for the most dangerous game show.
Yes.
We're shooting it this week.
And we're doing it in Colorado.
Oh, shit.
We're going to Colorado.
They just sent me videos of the set.
It looks fucking insane.
Like, it's like, I don't want to say too much about it but it's outdoor very rustic you're like have this view of all the fucking mountains I
presume I don't know all the challenges but I presume they're gonna be using the
fact that it's in Colorado and I want to lay the cast on you guys I want to pump
this cast all right it's a good one I heard it's a strong cast Mincy would
have been a great a great part of the, but Mincy's not in it.
Incredible.
He would have been great.
So we have Francis is doing it.
That's a good start.
We got Megan making money doing it.
Love her.
We have Jackie from KFC Radio.
Oh, yep.
Okay.
Dana Beers is doing it. Dana Beers. Okay. Dana Beers is doing it.
Dana Beers.
Gay Pat is going to be doing it.
We've got Spider doing it.
We have Rudy doing it.
And we got O'Malley doing it.
That's the cast right there.
That's a hit.
The Most Dangerous Game show.
They're flying out to Colorado tomorrow to be out there for a week,
living in the wilderness, abandoning their phones,
and trying to win some cash.
You're going to be on your demon shit.
Yeah, I'm going to be an asshole.
I'm going to be the role I was born to play, a dickhead.
I was genuinely shocked when I watched the last season.
I thought, oh, yeah, they're going to have challenges for them.
I was shocked at the level that those challenges were.
It was shit that I think I would have been out day one, challenge one.
It sold for more money this year, so that means the budget went up,
and all of the budget went into making the challenges more badass.
So it's going to be...
I think you're the smartest man alive
for being the host of it.
Oh, God.
So I don't have to do this shit.
Best possible scenario.
Last year, they had cockroaches in their mouths.
I wouldn't have done that.
What was the tank where they put their hands up
and there was the spiders in the...
Yes, this shit is disgusting.
Drinking a cockroach milkshake.
There was so much stuff that I was like, shit oh man francis francis i can't wait for yeah what so
of that cast who do you guys think are are some early favorites spider spider spider gets spider
and o'malley yeah spider is feisty in situations like that megan making money might might surprise
you too yep i think she going to be down for whatever.
Yeah.
I feel like people from, like, New Orleans,
I feel like people from down there are tough to...
They pretty much live this life all the time.
Uh-huh.
She eats spiders.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
I think Dana Beers actually will not do as good
as everyone thinks he might do.
Was he in it last year?
There'll be something with him.
He was in this one. Him and Francis will fight. You think as everyone thinks he might do. Was he in it last year? There'll be something with him.
Him and Francis will fight.
You think so? Guaranteed.
Guaranteed.
I can see gay Pat instigating a little bit.
Pat is like, he really is.
People don't realize.
Who will be the person that gets drunk and terrorizes the camp at night?
Allegedly.
No, Billy did that.
Did you know?
100%. We got a call. Colorado it's in? Allegedly No Billy did that Did you know 100% You say that
We got a call
Colorado it's in
Remember the call we got
Like during your
Filming last year
They're like
Billy's out of control
Are you serious
Yeah we're like
We couldn't even talk
About what he did
Well no he just was
He got kicked out
He got kicked out first
So then he had nothing to do
But to get drunk in the woods
He was so hurt
By the fact that
He got kicked out
Yeah He's like what Really guys Yeah And like was forced To internalize that he had nothing to do but to get drunk in the woods. He was so hurt by the fact that he got kicked out.
Yeah.
I was like, what?
Really, guys?
Yeah.
And was forced to internalize that and then drank some and then externalized it. Yes.
He was like a slug with a box of Coors Lights.
You could follow the Coors Light trail to be like, where was Billy today?
I remember talking to him.
I was just like, what are you doing?
He's like, well, I'm not doing anything because I'm just sitting here drinking.
They won't let me leave.
Yeah, I think that they're –
Just don't –
That was a big part of the pre-production meeting.
They're like, yeah, you guys can't really drink like that.
Yeah.
I'm sure.
The Billy rule.
Yeah, I'm sure they'll be fine.
That's awesome.
Nice cash prize.
It should be nice and fun.
Are you going to have a phone?
Yeah, I'm going to have to record a podcast and do live streams about the playoffs.
Yeah, I was going to say, and watch the Sixers.
Yeah.
Are you worried?
Yes, I am worried.
Knights must win.
I think you can.
I mean.
No.
You can win one of the two.
No.
You can. No. You already proved you could take one in Boston. But, I mean, they can win one of the two. You can.
You already proved you could take one in Boston.
But, I mean, they need to win tonight.
I won't say it's must win, but they need to win, if you know what I mean.
I think the next three games are must win for you.
If we don't beat them 4-1, we can't beat them?
Correct.
I think we could beat them 4-2.
Because the game would be in Philly.
Game 7 would be tough.
Game 7, it would be extremely hard.
On Mother's Day.
And James Harden.
Yeah.
In general.
Rock Rivers.
I mean, James Harden gave you game 1.
It's like that's really all you could ask of him.
No, he clocked out.
He's like, I'm good.
Brandon just went over to Big T's desk and was kind of just like talking with people.
He just didn't want to talk to us anymore.
Sometimes.
Sometimes.
Why did you do the high noon ad read?
Perfect timing.
This is perfect for him to leave during this because we're talking about the high noon tequila seltzer.
I got some in my fridge back at home.
Probably have a cold couple of them for the Sixers game.
Open up the sliding door. Get a little bit of them for the Sixers game. Open up the
sliding door, get a little bit of the outside breeze. Finally over 60 degrees, you know, after
like three weeks of 40 degrees weather for absolutely no reason, you can finally enjoy a
high noon tequila seltzer in the elements, the way that they were designed to be enjoyed. You're
going to love them. Real tequila, real juice, clean finish, real tequila, real blanco tequila, only 100 calories, gluten-free, no added sugar,
high-noon tequila seltzer, now available nationwide, four bright, crisp flavors,
strawberry, lime, grapefruit, passion fruit, and the high-noon tequila seltzer is great outdoors.
You can have it at the pool, the lake, the beach, golfing, tailgating, all those things.
Look for them on Drizzly or at your local convenience
or liquor store or visit highnoonspirits.com
to find some near you.
I called ahead.
It'd be a grabby one, bro.
There'll be tomorrow.
I called ahead and make sure the bar has them.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Smart man.
Tell him to put some on ice for you.
I need that tequila, bro.
Come on.
For Cinco de Mayo.
Strawberry?
Can I get the lime, though, for Cinco de Mayo?
I feel like that's more of a genuine flavor.
Cinco de Mayo is actually the celebration of what?
Anybody?
Fifth of May.
But why do they celebrate the Fifth of May?
Like, what's so great about the Fifth of May?
What do you think?
What's your best guess?
It's not Mexican independence?
Death?
Something with death?
No.
War?
Yeah, war.
Beheadings?
No.
Guns?
It's the Battle of Puebla.
Hey, what is it?
The anniversary of the Battle of Puebla.
What happened there?
A big, it was just a big-ass battle.
Great-ass battle. Great,
great-ass battle.
It's like fucking Gettysburg.
It's better of one.
Who's they?
The Mexicans.
Did they celebrate?
Did they celebrate each other?
Were they fighting us?
Oh.
Oh, the French Empire.
Oh, the French.
Oh, yeah.
Good.
Great.
Good for the fucking Mexicans.
Go to Mayo.
Hell yes.
Fuck them.
Fuck, that's good.
Ron.
It looks good.
Yes.
Did you see we updated the podcast description?
Are you serious?
Good.
That pissed me off, Ron.
I know you don't actually care, but it still pissed me off.
Yeah, it made me happy, but it pissed me off.
Why?
Because you're the fucking original member.
No, it's funny. No, it actually made me off. Why? Because you're the fucking original member. No, it's funny.
No, it actually made me mad.
Not the Shay part. The Shay part's funny.
Yeah, that's funny. What was it?
Jay Erasure is very funny.
It was like the description for the Yak,
and it was like Big Cat with KB and Nick, and just didn't have her own listed.
Or Kate, or Brandon,
or anybody. You have
the legitimate, you have the legitimate.
You have the ultimate legitimate cripe.
I could bitch.
Yeah, you can absolutely bitch. I could really bitch.
What does it say now, TJ?
Just me?
Roan show?
Roan show.
Roan show.
Perfect.
Perfect, brother.
Perfect.
Shout out all of our podcast listeners. Let's never change Perfect. Shout out all of our podcast listeners.
Let's never change them.
Shout out them specifically.
They're the best.
I get a lot of DMs from people saying they just listen to the podcast.
Yeah, because we saw the numbers.
It's like 35% of the audience listens to just the podcast.
They charge regularly.
Yeah.
People are still afraid to open up YouTube on their phone to listen charts regularly. Yeah. People are still afraid to open up YouTube
on their phone
to listen to something.
Yeah.
They were idiots.
Because it doesn't stand.
They wouldn't let you
do a video for a while.
Well, it doesn't stand.
Yeah, they wouldn't let you
watch the video and other...
Yeah, yeah.
Now they can.
Now you can.
Now you can.
And I'm very pro-YouTube.
Good job, guys.
Wait, you can?
TNT, you can't.
Minimize it.
Oh.
You can push it to the side.
You can push it to the side. You can push it to the side.
Oh, see?
I've been hitting that one.
Again, whatever.
Or you can...
It's just like, why wait?
Why did they wait to do that?
You could even watch it smaller and send an email or go on Twitter.
They waited because they want you to pay for their premium service.
Oh.
Where the hell have I been?
Respect.
We're a capitalist society.
That is true.
Sick. We do. I just? Respect. Capitalist society. That is true. Sick.
We do.
I just won a horse race in Kentucky.
I'm trying to win all of them.
Hey, I might need to, I will still get the notifications from the TVG.
Derby day used to be one of my favorite days of the year as a kid growing up because my neighbors would throw this huge party with like a pig roast,
like cars lining the entire block live band.
And it was that day here where all the neighborhood parents were like,
we're all getting ripped today.
So as a kid,
you just had free rain till like one in the morning.
Flashlight tag was bumping.
I have vivid memories of like communion parties where you're being like,
all right,
who's in.
We're having like a full on like food fight in the basement and none of the
adults care for once.
I love it.
It's the first nice weekend of the year.
Usually a big boxing.
You have a single mile right around.
Usually a big boxing.
There's a Mayweather fight.
You have the playoffs.
Mayweather, Delahoya.
Unbelievable.
It's a great, great weekend.
Is it Canelo fighting?
What?
Is it Canelo fighting?
It might be.
It is.
You get Mayweather, Delahoya.
You get Riggs on.
Riggs is on.
My apartment.
Where community has a scramble.
They play a golf tournament in the morning.
I feel like it kicks off neighborhood drinking season.
Remember in 2019
when we would have a Pink Whitney event
every week? Oh, yes.
I was blacking out like twice a week. We would have
Tuesday ones, Thursday ones, Saturday
ones. That's right.
Where? Bars. Different bars like
the Ainsworth.
Oh, yeah. I used to go to those all the time.
Bounce, Terrible.
Sports club.
Yes.
Zaz nodding along.
Fuck yeah, you are.
Horrible summer.
That was different from the summer ones.
That's right.
I would be blacking out like three times a week. Yeah, I was blacking out so often.
Yep.
It's the most fun.
Yeah, that's right.
It really is.
It's like the people, yeah, who say, oh, I only smoke cigarettes when I go out drinking.
It's like, well, you go out drinking four nights a week.
You ain't helping.
You're an addict.
Anyone else need a high-end tequila?
It's Cinco de Mayo.
Kate, come on.
Man, I wish.
I didn't take the bus in today.
I drove.
I would go for a good.
Tomorrow.
I'm saving them all for tomorrow.
The lime one is so good.
The lime tequila one is so fire.
Lime and watermelon.
Or no, strawberry.
And watermelon.
Watermelon, regular high noon,
strawberry, tequila high noon.
Tequila and lime.
It's like a goddamn margarita.
That's all you need.
Yeah, there should be a big fight.
I think there's the Canelo.
I think Canelo fights tonight. But yeah, there should be a big fight. I think there's the Canelo. I think Canelo fights tonight.
Canelo and their UFC tomorrow, too, they say.
But yeah, there should be a box.
There should be a heavyweight fight every year.
You should have saved the Tank Garcia fight for this one.
You guys watch that?
Yeah, I mean.
Did the De La Hoya Mayweather.
We bought it in my apartment and invited everyone over and charged everyone $20 for it.
We bought two kegs and we boiled 100 hot dogs.
This was all you can eat, all you can drink.
That's the best.
That was when you were in college?
In college, yeah, because the fight was like $70 or something.
In college, we had it in our backyard facing out of Penn State.
We had the whole neighborhood put the TV out there and everybody would be there.
It was a Manny Pacquiao fight.
There was this racist frat kid that was up there and he was like,
Fuck you, you fucking spick. Manny Pacquiao fight, and there was this racist frat kid that was up there, and he was like, fuck you, you fucking spick.
Oh, to Manny?
Manny Pacquiao is Filipino.
Filipino?
What the fuck?
That's what made it so much funnier,
is that he's Filipino.
Fuck you.
We had our high school had a Filipino running back
that would get called the N-word.
Yeah, it's like, bro, get your shit straight.
Not only are you racist, you're dumb.
Yeah, you're dumb. Well, that usually goes hand in hand. Yeah, it is shit straight. Not only are you racist, you're dumb. Yeah, you're dumb.
Well, that usually goes hand in hand.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah.
Usually.
This kid, we found out later on that he was a cashier at a grocery store when he was growing up.
And someone had come by and he grabbed his dick.
So he kind of, you know what I mean?
Fucked him up for that.
That would fuck me up.
I would be racist too.
How hard did he grab his dick?
I think like a softballball pitcher like Jenny Finch.
The NBA playoffs.
Penis touching everywhere.
Why is there so much penis touching going on?
Everyone's touching penises.
They're claiming it's on accident.
Yeah, PJ Tucker's the king of the accidental penis touch.
He whipped it around.
He just perfectly. Have you asked Pat Bev about the. He whipped it around. Yeah, he just perfectly.
Have you asked Pat Bev about the penis touching?
I have.
What did he say?
I think he said it's just one of those things.
It just goes in waves.
Yeah, it gets hot.
It's like the three-point shot or the dunk.
Yeah, it's just the sign of the times.
You're going to look at this.
Game evolves.
Penis touching era.
Start to realize you can touch penises.
I wonder if he has any penis touching clips out there,
why he's defending the penis touching community.
Yeah, you'd think, because Chris Paul's like the OG penis toucher.
Right.
Stockton was a penis toucher.
Yeah.
They're bashers.
Yeah.
Penis bashers.
Yeah, Chris Paul was a, what was it, Julius Hodges?
Julius Hodge.
Julius Hodge, yeah.
What are you talking about?
Like, they're doing defense,
you just see their wrists flick a little bit?
Yeah, I mean, when you're playing basketball,
you can, like, a guy runs into the post,
you can basically, like...
When you're boxing out, part of it is to hit their penis a little bit.
Kind of pretend that you're not trying,
even though usually it is.
You know where your hand is.
Yeah, I mean, boxing out is also whipping your midsection
into someone's groin.
Right, that's true.
Think about it, so it's like...
You're daggering them.
Can't wait for that Yak basketballin. Right. Think about it. So it's like. You're daggering them. Can't wait for that yak basketball court.
Yeah.
Penis touching.
You want to spin the wheel, TJ?
We got the yak court just or the basketball court just for penis touching.
Correct.
Correct.
Penis touching court.
It's not a basketball court.
How long do you think those.
Wait, what is mad honey?
Oh, Donnie brought back some mad honey.
It's illegal.
It has hallucinogenic effects.
Okay.
It's a mild drug.
Unless you take a decent amount.
And I'm guessing Donnie took more than...
Yeah, three times the recommended amount.
Did he trip?
He said he felt like he was covered in Bengay.
I don't know if it was a good or bad.
And then he vomited a lot.
He said he vomited for like four hours.
Bengay is like icy hot, isn't it?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I know what that is.
What is big red forehead?
Oh, yeah.
You take a big red piece of paper, you lick it, and you stick it to your forehead.
Remember that dumb school bus joke?
After everything I say, say five years.
Tylenol.
Five years.
Advil. Five years. Bengay. Five years. Bengay five years. Tylenol. Five years. Advil.
Five years.
Bengay.
Five years.
You've been gay five years?
Oh, yeah.
That one's...
Yeah.
Sorry.
What about the pen club?
There's also the...
Pen 15.
Yeah.
I got detention for that.
I was actually in the penis club.
Oh.
It was one of the few, yeah.
It's right up, yeah.
Right about it.
It's like the... What do you put in cereal It's like the, what do you put in cereal?
Oh, yeah.
What do you put in cereal?
What do you put in cereal?
Milk?
That's the last question, isn't it?
No, I think it's the first.
What do you put in cereal?
Milk?
Yeah.
What's in ice cream?
Milk?
What do cows drink?
Water.
Water.
Yeah.
I almost got you. Thank Yeah. I almost got you.
Thank you.
I almost got you.
I almost got your ass.
What colors are the American flag?
Red, white, and blue.
And it's not a color.
What?
Oh, that sucks.
And it's not a color.
That's garbage.
That was a trash one.
I would say white.
You're just bringing them back.
I mean, I didn't say I was a fan of them.
I would say white's not a color.
The softball chance.
I have fucking vivid memories of these things.
I'm not a fan of them, but I grew up around them.
Brandon, you were thinking about the fort one.
Yeah, I was.
What's a fort one?
Say fort.
Say fort.
Fort.
Fort.
You got it, Brandon?
I don't know how many times you got to do it.
How many times you got to do it?
Spell fort.
Yeah, say fort.
Fort.
Spell fort.
F-O-R-T. what do you eat soup with super fork in the spoon that's good i won't twist you up have you seen that other one the
tiktok where they go around and it's it's like who like say who it's all words that rhyme with
two or like whatever and the people get so fucked up, they can't say.
They're holding it in front of them and they're like, twall, twall.
They can't, whatever it is, they can't say two on the TikTok.
Yeah, there's another one.
What is Y-E-S spell?
Yes.
What is E-Y-E-S spell?
Oh, I know this.
I've heard this, yeah.
I saw this girl get stumped by it.
Everyone says E-S, E-E- this. Yeah. I saw this girl get stumped by it. Everyone says E-S, E-S.
Eyes.
I always get stumped by the ones where they're like a chick with like huge tits and then
like a bear walks in the background.
Like, bet you didn't see the bear.
And I'm like, nope, I didn't.
You're right.
Don't see it the next time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like the next time you watch it again.
I've never seen it.
You're like, look for the bear, look for the bear.
Oh, shit, tits again.
It would be the opposite of me.
It would be me and a bear, and they'd be like,
Kate was in that video?
All right, yeah, spin the wheel.
Let's spin the wheel.
It's on your OnlyFans.
Just bear enthusiasts come watch it.
I'm like completely naked, but no one sees me because there's a bear.
Another one.
Oh, we said it again.
We'll just put one dry back on.
We added mad honey to the wheel.
Yeah, I just asked what that was, and it sounds, I mean, it's very, I was like, what is it?
And they told me, like, it's not that bad if you don't take a little.
I was like, well, Donnie obviously took way too much, right?
He did.
It's like mad money.
We speculate on the honey market.
It's dry.
Okay.
All right, well, it's beautiful out.
I'm betting some horses.
Everyone have a great weekend.
When's Nick back?
He'll be back this weekend.
Okay, when is the...
Tomorrow.
Nick looks British.
Do you feel a little...
Is there FOMO?
Yeah, of course.
Tommy's having the time of his life.
He said he already got his dosh ludicrously gingered.
What?
I don't know what that means. A fucking tang sort? He's having the time of his life. He said he already got his dosh ludicrously gingered. What?
I don't know what that means.
I have a fucking Tang sort in the Crescent Square.
I love this.
This hat works for Tommy.
Yeah, it does.
It does.
It's his advisor's. He's got a face for it.
I don't think it does.
Is his head smaller?
Photoshop smaller?
Tommy really just shapeshifts into like an aggressive nerd and like a hot guy.
I don't know how he does it.
That was a Photoshop take.
Mario's stuck on his head or something.
It looks mashed up.
His head is not, his head is big.
Doesn't he look like a Wallace and Gromit claymation character sometimes?
He like has, he's become, he's kind of grown into himself where he has looks where it's
like.
He looks great.
Oh, he's very handsome.
Yeah, good looking dude, but then he'll just revert back to nerd Tommy.
Still gets chicks.
He gets chicks.
Still, dude cleans up.
Saw him in Belmont, yeah.
He's a fucking pussy king of Manhattan is what they call him.
I mean, look at him.
They send a camera guy with them?
John Kelly.
Okay, I find it funnier if they just find the local British.
Can you film this?
Are they going to meet up with troops?
They got in.
He said he was going to try.
That's a no.
That was the softest no possible.
I'm going to try.
I will see. I'll let you know
He said there's football on
Yeah he's gonna do the like
Yeah just hit me up
And let me know where you're at
It's hard to get around
Always tell them
You text me
You let me know where you're at
Then they do
And you're like fuck
And then you're like
Ah shit I'm so far from there
Service is gonna be crazy With the coordination I probably won't get there. Service is going to be crazy with the coronation.
I probably won't get.
And it's like all one-lane roads, like the infrastructure in England.
There you go, KP.
Thanks, Kate.
I like the length of your neck.
You need a neck.
I don't know.
I like your neck.
You don't need that shit, bro.
I know.
He definitely don't need that neck.
God damn.
Good hat choice by Nick.
Great hat choice.
The Royals.
The Royals.
And the eel, the eel, the...
You're supposed to have eel pie, but it's an endangered species?
This is, I shouldn't know this.
The big thing on my TikTok algorithm, guys grow eels in their basements.
Really?
They flood their basements, and then they grow eels in them, and they make a ton of money.
What do you mean grow? Like their plants?
They just toss them down there, and they just keep feeding them, and then they sell the eels, and they make a bunch of money in their basements.
Because I guess it has to be dark.
Grow eels.
Raze?
Hi, everybody.
Super excited to update you.
This is in his house.
I actually went to a local Asian grocery store and picked up five blue crabs.
I wanted to do two males and three females, but all they actually had was females.
So we're going with that for now.
Size-wise, I think they should be along with all the eels and gar at the pit.
He has an entire marine ecosystem building in a space.
I think you need it all to foster the eels.
They sell for a ton of money, apparently.
I ate one of those last night.
Eels is big business.
Eels are tasty.
Are they? What do they taste like? Greasy or what?
My uncle used to own a fish market bakery type place in Amsterdam,
and they came over and they brought smoked eel.
It's just like lox or anchovies, but turned up to the max.
They're super fishy, super smoky.
You eat them on little pieces of toast. Delicious.
I was first turned on to eel in Rush Hour
when Chris Tucker was like,
you're eating eel?
Oh, yeah, and the other guy's eating camel's hump.
Camel hump.
Camel hump, yeah.
That's how Jackie Chan said it.
I watched Rush Hour again.
That movie fucking, that was awesome.
So good.
It ruled.
You guys saw it in theaters.
When did it come out?
98?
Yeah, it probably did.
I mean, we corroborated it.
It was more like a confirmation.
That was when all the people were dropping.
Latin music was popping.
Yeah.
Carlos Santana.
But white people
were doing it too.
Iglesias.
Ginger Spice.
Yeah.
Ginger Spice.
She's good looking.
J-Lo, Shakira.
The five Mambos.
I guess they make
sense.
Oh, Mambo number
five.
That was the hottest
shit.
That was the best.
Macarena.
Who let the dogs
out was kind of that was. Yeah, that's shit. Macarena. Who Let the Dogs Out was kind of, that was.
Yeah, that's adjacent.
It's also, you know, stadium jam.
Macarena was great because they basically were like,
we're going to make a Latin song that white people can dance to.
And dude, it still is being danced to.
It was very nice of whoever made it.
We'll make this as easy as possible.
You don't have to use your hips.
You don't have to do anything.
Just use your hands.
It basically made a song for, like, white dads at weddings to be able to dance to.
It's awesome.
Because even the electric slide, you've got to get a little.
It's a lot to remember.
Yeah.
Tootsie roll.
That ain't for us.
Oh, the tootsie roll.
No, yeah.
That's not for us.
You do it.
That's not the intended audience. Put my hand up on your hip. When I dip, you dip, we dip. All right. That's not for us. You do it. That's not the intended audience.
Put my hand up on your hip.
When I dip, you dip, we dip.
All right.
That's another one.
Classic.
Shout.
Shout's a good one at a wedding.
That's for the whites.
How did you do it?
Do we have a Sass Iceland update?
Oh, yeah.
He's in Iceland?
When did he go?
Yeah, he's camping out every day, too.
He didn't send me any.
I asked him yesterday, how was it?
He said, pretty fun.
The scenery is crazy.
We fished all day, but we didn't catch dick.
I said, send some pics.
Hopefully you'll catch some dick tomorrow.
And today he texted me, just met a Philly guy out here.
Go birds.
And I said, nice.
I knew you'd catch some dick.
No pictures, though.
I don't know why he's not sending me pictures.
He's got so many dick catching going on.
I just hit him with a pix, multiple question marks.
I need some pix.
Come on, it's Iceland.
I'm not really trying to hear about it,
or at least give me a thousand words.
Is this a Yakagami
in the sense that
it's the first time
two people were out of the Yak
and they're both
out of the country?
Ooh.
Has to be.
Yeah, it's gotta be.
Any of y'all leave
the country last summer?
I haven't left the country
since 2006.
I did not leave
the country last year.
You didn't?
No. Yeah, you did. Yeah, I 2006. I did not leave the country last year. You didn't? No.
Yeah, you did.
Yeah, I did.
I went to Mexico.
And I went to Bahamas a few months ago.
So, yeah, that is technically leaving the country.
Oh, you were.
Where were you?
Rome leaves the country every other day.
Yeah, I'm trying to leave the country.
But that's what I'm saying.
Best chances overlap with one of my country leaves.
It may have happened. You went to Iran a couple weeks ago, too, right? Just never told us? Yeah, that video's I'm saying. Best chances overlap with one of my country leagues. It may have happened.
You went to Iran a couple weeks ago too, right?
Just never told us?
Yeah, that video's coming out soon.
Between me and John Kelly.
Should be out soon.
Shout out to the Taliban.
Just kidding, Kate.
What?
Julio?
Too bad Rico's not here.
He used to fight with them.
Good man.
Not with them.
With them.
Yeah, on their side.
Fighting with someone, that's a vague term.
It is.
Just to be clear, he was part of the Taliban.
Fighting on behalf of the Taliban.
Okay. It's a good yak. All right, we'll see everyone Monday. Have a great weekend. Great weekend. Kentucky Der behalf of the Taliban. Okay. All right.
It's a good yak.
All right, we'll see everyone Monday.
Have a great weekend.
Great weekend.
Kentucky Derby.
Nothing better.
Nothing better.
Nothing better. We'll be right back.