The Yak - Fat Cat NFT's: Coming Soon? | The Yak 11-15-21
Episode Date: November 16, 2021Please delete if you see itYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act.
I'm mad.
I said what I was mad about.
I waited two months for the torso reveal,
and then I have to do one little fucking video in New Jersey,
and then boom, the torso reveal happens.
Well, that's you thinking the torso reveal is some type of premeditated event.
It's based on impulse.
What was the impulse?
The masculine urge to show his new torso.
He was looking for his moment.
That makes you feel worse.
That means that you would never have the impulse to reveal torso about you.
It is about him.
It's never been about you.
Why are you mad?
Why am I mad?
Yeah.
Because we're in this together.
Just because there were some girls on the other side of the glass, he pops his top. Of course. Is that what it was? Yes. I wanted to see it. Why am I mad? Because we're in this together. Just because there were some girls on the other side
of the glass, he pops his top. Of course.
Is that what it was? I don't know. Maybe
subconsciously that was the reason, but it was all
impulse. I speak for Roan
and Sass as well. We were all together.
We all equally as upset that we missed
the torso reveal. We could roll the tape. Look at my
surprise when he popped it off. I didn't know
what I was about to... No, it wasn't...
TJ, you want to roll the
torso reveal picture?
I mean, until he revealed the torso,
it could have always happened. You can't miss a day.
Use the right picture. There's multiple angles.
What's the right angle? Oh, no.
Oh, jeez.
I see where the disappointment is stemming from.
That's a lot
of couch. The couch is also black.
Yeah.
It's blending in.
What's the worst part of this picture?
Is it the fact that I'm holding my stomach like a pregnant woman?
You're palming it like a basketball.
Or the fact that I could very well be looking at an online menu.
Oh, were you?
No, I wasn't.
But I could have been yeah and it's just
it's the most relaxed look see instagram first reality you know what's horrible
you kind of got a fat guy hat on there too yeah i'm not good at if i'm fat wearing hats is a
terrible terrible idea because i always just like... It's a weird phenomenon.
Oh, my big fucking melanin.
It's adorable.
You're not that fat.
No, but when I wear it,
I need to be skinnier to wear hats.
I know that sounds crazy. No, it's true.
That's the proof.
I need to be 15 pounds skinnier to wear a hat.
You live a great life.
That's undeniable,
but that will haunt you for a long time no please
nick come on buddy this is just the new version that picture's been taken a thousand yeah there's
the pool one that's the pool one the big house one on the rv i had hank compile them all a few
years ago and make like i should make them nfts oh my god yeah that would be you'd make a ton of
money that was a bad one, though.
That one hurt because it's like I was wearing all black.
It felt like that would do enough to hide things.
And then, boom.
Well, pictures where you look fat, they are disheartening.
But the worst are pictures when you just look ugly.
Yeah.
Like your face just looks hideous.
And that's something you can't change.
Yeah, that's never happened to me
You have a good face you're a symmetrical guy
My lips
We all were thinking it
They're plush
Plump
You're trying to jump out of a plane
Isn't it kind of disheartening that
FEMA drops thousands of pounds
Of food with a parachute
And they're just like I don't know about you I'm not sure about you that FEMA drops thousands of pounds of food with a parachute.
And they're just like, I don't know about you.
I'm not sure about you.
Yeah, they drop like tanks and shit out of planes.
But you do have a good six weeks to get skinny.
I'm just not going to eat in December.
You said you weren't going to eat in November.
That was a prep to see like, ha ha, just a joke.
Do you want to do a tapeworm episode maybe we'll all be down with that i'm gonna actually have kyle just put me on a wrestling diet yeah i do want to i think it'll
be funny and good content it's it's all about the three days prior right like could i drop
i weighed in today surprisingly enough i am a pound and a half less than I was two weeks ago.
What is your weight now?
235 and a half.
And you want to get down to what?
220 is what I have to do so I don't die.
I've seen people with less body fat lose that in a day.
How much body fat do you think I have?
25%. A quarter?
I don't know.
I don't know body fat.
More than that, pal.
Oh, Steven, that was me.
What did he do?
I think it's lower than that. Steven just went like this. It's lower than that. No, it's not. I don't know I don't know body fat Oh Steven that was me What did he do Steven just went like this It's lower than that
No it's not
I don't know about lower
It was a big up vote
A big up
Yeah
You think this man's half fat
This
This
Up
Way up
Look up the diagram
Of like the
Clinically obese
But I want to talk about
your torso reveal.
I saw the torso.
Yeah.
It's a good torso.
It was fucking hot.
It was.
A lot of people
had just made
like vague explanations
or exclamations.
But no one really
gave me any feedback.
You want more specific?
Like what was it?
Like muscle for muscle?
Well, yeah.
What was your dream?
What?
See? Looking as comfortable as ever.
You know what?
Just do it.
Can I
walk something back?
Can I walk something back on this?
I saw
the picture. I didn't see the actual moment.
Now I don't feel as bad. I don't feel as bad.
Because it was clearly spur of the moment.
Now, the lack of belt.
I got Clown.
Shirtless jeans is
you have to have a good torso for shirtless jeans.
Stand up and do the...
Whoa, you do have good abs.
But you really should be wearing a belt.
God damn it. Holy shit.
I guess. The belt would really pop that thing off.
The belt helps.
Yeah, it kind of weights you down.
Gives you a center where everyone can be like, ooh.
Oh, Steven has a point to make.
In KB's defense, he wasn't going to do it.
But he did it.
Because you asked him to.
I didn't know he was going to do it.
I asked him to do it like every other day.
Brandon did it.
But you knew Rone and Big Cat and Sass weren't here.
Oh, I did it.
Oh, now it's on me.
You wanted to see the torso.
I've been trying to get the torso out of him every time I've hosted.
Yes.
Sorry.
I've lusted for his torso.
We needed content on him.
And we got his torso on Friday.
Oh, so that was it.
So you use him.
You use him.
Brandon also asked him to sleep over that night on the air.
And did you?
I don't think I'd be allowed.
Not that big of a deal.
How was Arizona, boys? Haven't seen you in a week. Oh, big of a deal. How was Arizona, boys?
Haven't seen you in a week.
Oh, my God, yeah.
It was good.
Arizona was all right, yeah.
Good, nice state.
The Arizona Bowl, real quick, is it definitely the winners of the –
is it the Mack –
Mack and the Mountain West.
Mack and Mountain West.
I think it's second place Mack.
But it's not – that's not absolute.
Because last year was the two winners.
Correct.
Because it's COVID year, different bowls were moved down the order. Canceled and stuff, yeah. But that's not absolute because last year was the two winners. Correct.
Because it's COVID year, different bowls were moved down the order.
Well, Kent State, it looks like they will make the MAAC championship and probably lose in the finals.
So then you'll be rooting for them to lose.
In the championship.
Right.
They don't deserve to win.
Well, if they won the game, why wouldn't they deserve it?
They're getting blown out by Western Michigan. No, they didn't get blown out by Western Michigan. They deserve it? They're getting blown out by Western Michigan.
No, they didn't get blown out by Western Michigan.
They lost to Western Michigan and got blown out by Central Michigan.
Well, Central Michigan's got a little pudgy quarterback that's electric.
They'll win out their next two games, I think.
Have they played Toledo yet?
Yeah, they beat Toledo.
They have to beat Miami of Ohio, and they'll definitely beat Akron.
Who has a Gabbert?
They have a Gabbert? In relation to Blaine? They have a beat Miami of Ohio, and they'll definitely beat Akron. Who has a Gabbert? They have a Gabbert?
Relation to Blaine?
They have a Gabbert.
Dusty Crumb, dude.
Dusty Crumb.
Crumbum.
Third stringer, Denver.
Potentially.
Look at this.
Look at those boys.
Okay, so who wins their game against Miami?
That'll be big.
They're playing Akron on Saturday.
And then Miami's the following week.
Oh, so that'll be for that division.
Yeah.
Wow.
Let's go to it.
What time?
What time?
You know, a game like that, they haven't decided yet.
I don't know.
I think it'll probably be on a Saturday, right?
Noon?
Saturday?
Wait, wait.
Scroll down, scroll down.
Why does one say 12 p.m. and the next one say noon?
Now, let me ask a follow-up question.
Oh, it's annoying.
Let me ask a follow-up question to you, Kyle.
Will you be in West Virginia on that Saturday, or will you be in New York?
That's the Saturday after Thanksgiving.
I'll be in North Carolina.
Fuck.
Why?
Because it would be hilarious if we had Big Evan, Dave doing their Michigan, Ohio State,
and then we had you trying to win the Mac East.
I'll fly back.
Okay.
Friday.
Mac East, baby.
So we'll wait to see if you beat Akron, which you should.
Although Akron's scrappy.
We need to send bowl scouts to the championship game of the Mountain West.
I'm going to the Mac Championship.
Kyle, you're invited?
Actually, no, I'm not because it's not on a Friday anymore,
which is the worst thing they've ever done.
The Mountain West one's in Colorado Springs and the Mac's in Detroit?
Yeah, Detroit Friday night Mac Championship was the best event,
and they changed it.
They made it on Saturday, and it sucks.
It was the best.
It was always cold, and it was December, Detroit,
very, like, 15,000 people in an NFL stadium.
Yeah, that's a sad sight.
No, but it was great.
It's like a high school state championship.
Was that the same time you did the aquarium video?
No, that was before.
That was way before.
And in the summer. So, no. So, that was before. That was way before. And in the summer.
So no. So not even
close. That was a terrible thing to say.
What are Sass and Roan doing?
Sass is fighting Bryce Hall.
Sass is on most of the line right now.
Jersey Jerry is going to come in here after that.
Can we look in on it? Can we look in?
Can we do a live look in? Oh yeah, let's raid
them. Oh, that would be sick if we could raid
them. We can do it.
Wait, is he actually here? No. Let's raid them. Oh, that would be sick if we could raid them. We can raid them.
Wait, is he actually here?
No.
He's in Minneapolis with Rome.
He's going to get his fake ID confiscated and be like, this is the worst thing a cop in this city has ever done.
Minneapolis PD just reached a new low.
I think he actually
would be like,
he'd be like,
I thought you guys
were just complaining
about that whole thing
last summer,
but now I get it.
I get it now.
Now that it's happened to me,
I totally get it.
I was like freezing cold in line.
I could barely breathe.
It was the worst pain
I've barely breathe. It was the worst pain I've ever felt.
He's miserable.
That Bryce Hall thing.
Oh, yeah, he is.
That was so...
Why is he miserable?
Who?
Sass is miserable.
Yeah, all the time.
Yeah, how was the show in Boston?
We didn't see it.
We got his version and Roan's version.
He got too drunk on the second episode.
Yeah.
He did.
Yeah. And? It was a different show than the first canceled sass yeah oh i do have some i do
have some news about sass oh look here they are wait what this is great so what what were you
thinking like when this went when he was tweeting all this shit, tagging me, were you like, what the fuck is going on?
Can we link up in them?
Yeah, let's link.
I didn't really like the intro, but it was more just like...
Yak listeners, let's not read the chat.
You must have not known that that clip is super old.
But at the same time, I'm like, I don't want to know how they possibly have gotten that clip.
All right, so this is bad audio.
I'm just watching Rome.
Borderline unlistenable.
Sass is trying to look tough with his hat.
Look, I'm not.
And I think the craziest thing is that he tried to do that.
Why is this content happening on Muscle Line and not the app?
That's shocking.
We're getting.
Marty's just.
He's stealing.
Also, apparently,
Sass said 1 o'clock was the only time
he could do this.
What?
That's what I heard.
When he could have been
on the yak?
I thought Bryce Hall said that.
What was just going on there?
I heard Sass said that.
Hmm.
Huh.
Marty's obsessed
with TikTokers.
He is, right?
Very obsessed.
Yeah, like, actually.
Yeah.
Isn't he?
He's already very much
like crazy obsessed. He's doing well with them, but he's getting in with them. Yeah. Isn't he? He's already very much obsessed. Like crazy obsessed.
He's doing well with them.
He's getting in with them.
He's talking to them.
He's doing content with them.
And more power to them.
It's working for him.
What I was going to say is we came up, we hatched an idea.
So we did a video in New Jersey on Friday, and I drove back with Sass and Roan and Liam.
And Sass's 21st birthday is coming up oh oh is it didn't
even think about that i think is it coming up well april that's coming up yeah it's coming up
yeah april's coming up that's coming up five oh you gotta get to january what that's not
six we're under six months five and a half months i think i think three months away is coming up
coming up when you when speaking about a birthday, then no.
So when is it?
Two months?
Is it soon?
It's not soon?
March 1st?
You can't say soon, but you can say almost soon.
Almost?
Just say next year.
It's on deck to soon.
Yeah.
After March Madness is over.
What's coming up?
It's like around the NFL draft.
I think coming up is a month.
I think it's got to be like the Super Bowl is kind of coming up. No? It's coming up? It's like around the NFL draft. I think coming up is a month. I think it's got to be like the Super Bowl is kind of coming up.
No?
It's coming up.
No, I forget.
Why?
Do you have an idea?
Do you have a plan?
Oh, yeah, we're going to do a case race.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Live on the show.
Yeah, that's a blast.
Fuck yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, just get fucked up.
Teams of two.
You and Brandon.
Brandon's not eligible because he doesn't drink.
He's a puss.
Owen will be a part of it, but he'll have to drink the non-alcoholic beer.
He doesn't drink more than me.
Yeah, but he drinks non-alcoholic beer.
He does.
He consumes those.
You think they're yucky.
Teams of two.
We'll draft it.
It'll be a 24-pack, and we won't end the show until someone wins.
Let's do a cube, baby. Let's go 30.
It was either that or a power
hour that we just went until someone puked.
I'm down for either.
I think somebody will puke both ways.
Or pee their pants.
You're not allowed to pee?
If you're doing a power hour, you shouldn't be able to pee.
Has anyone ever finished a power hour?
Yes. Very drunk.
It's like five
beers. It's not like
a power hour is you take
a shot of beer every minute
for an hour. Usually there's like
a YouTube video.
So it's not like
an insane amount of beer. It's just that you drink it
in an hour. It's just a diabolical move to just keep
doing that for an hour. Right.
You don't have a second to stop.
But a case race on this show, and we just say,
it will be one of the best episodes we've had,
where we all just get insanely drunk in name of Sass's birthday,
and we don't end the show until someone is declared the winner.
So it could be a four-hour show.
And let's incorporate something else that's fun.
Maybe a draft.
A draft.
A draft.
So this will be the Friday after Sass turns And let's incorporate something else that's fun. Maybe a draft. A draft. A draft.
So this will be the Friday after Sass turns 21.
We'll clear all of our schedules.
I would love to say it's coming up, but I'm not allowed to,
but I wish it were because it's going to be a very fun day.
It's in April.
We'll clear all of our schedules.
We'll pick the date.
We'll bring in some ice-cold beers.
We'll do a draft of the teams.
Teams of two?
Teams of two. Teams of two.
24.
We can't finish the episode until somebody wins.
It's one of your best ideas.
I'll never win. I can't drink more than five beers.
What if someone else drinks?
TJ, can you pound him?
Yes.
I have an idea.
Yeah.
Can we have one guest team, single man, Dana Beers?
Oh, no.
He's a pussy.
He couldn't finish 24 beers.
He couldn't finish 24 beers.
No way.
He doesn't even drink beers.
He drinks white wine.
But yes, we could.
That is confirmed.
We could.
Maybe Dana Beers and Brandon are a team, but Brandon's only allowed to drink one beer.
Yeah.
Fine.
Yes.
Sign me up for that.
That would be embarrassing, though, if he drank 23 before some of us drank 12.
That would be. That would be a bad look for us, because we party.
Yeah, we definitely party. Yeah, but you've
chugged against him before and smoked him.
Smoked him.
I'm fairly confident I can drink 12 beers
in
two and a half hours.
It's been a while. Yeah, I would be miserable.
I'd be very drunk.
But it would be very funny.
Yeah.
It would be very funny.
We might have to have like a 10-second delay on the show.
By the end of the show, we will all be very, very drunk.
I'll block out.
Can I do instead of-
Cocaine allowed?
Yes.
What if I did four-
We do it before every other show.
That was your question, wasn't it?
Yeah, can I do?
While I do, yeah.
But yes, this will be one of our best shows ever.
Or worst.
They're the same thing.
Yeah, true.
But it could be one that gets us finally canceled.
That's okay.
Yeah, it'd be a great way to go out.
We'll be a great way to end out. We could blame Sass.
That's how we'll end season three?
Four?
Five?
I think we're in season four right now.
I'm glad we didn't do the case race for Tommy Walker today.
Well, we could come.
Well, we could, yeah.
Have him have non-alcoholics with Owen.
He could probably pound some alcoholic beer.
It would be fine if I was here with him, right?
We'll do Edward Scissorhands.
Forty Hands.
Forty Hands, yeah.
For Tommy Walker.
Imagine if we just made Tommy Walker have two liters of Coke strapped to his hands.
Yeah.
That would be very funny. That would be on the time of his life.
That would be very funny.
I'm trying to think.
There's nothing illegal about that.
No.
No.
That would be very funny.
Why don't we do that just this Friday?
We should do that with Tommy.
Yeah.
Edward Forty Hands.
We need to practice.
Let's do an Edward Forty Hands episode. Edward Forty Hands is. I don don't know he hasn't earned a trip in do you know edward 40 hands edward
40 hands is 240s duct taped to your hands yeah can't can't use the bathroom or do anything until
you finish them both oh geez you just walk around i'm an idiot college kids played all these games
you walk around with 240s in your hands,
and they get progressively warmer, so it's grosser.
But yeah, Tommy doing that with Coke
while we did that with Steel Reserve would be very funny.
It'd be a blast.
I'm going to go with a Hurricane, though.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Okay.
Feels better around the hands.
Tommy, is he a soda boy?
He's a soda boy.
Yeah, he likes Coke.
What about milk?
He likes milk.
Oh, we could do the milk challenge.
Let's do one soda and one milk.
But his mom won't let him have coke,
so he has to go out with me to get coke.
His uncles, his fun uncles,
will let him drink unlimited coke.
As much as he wants.
Until he pees his pants.
Brandon, did you fall down the steps yesterday?
Yeah, you tweeted that.
You don't look like you did.
You don't look like you fell down the steps.
Look at my arm.
That looks like you played with a cat for 15 minutes.
That's scrapes from coming down the steps. Look at my arm. That looks like you played with a cat for 15 minutes.
No, that's scrapes from coming down the steps.
How sharp are your steps?
This is scrapes.
This is from the ride down.
So you felt, what were you holding?
I was holding a plate of lasagna, a paper plate of lasagna.
I got to the bottom.
I was hurting.
My ankle hurt. And I looked up, and on the steps was a plate of lasagna with half of it on the stairs,
half of it on the plate.
I just grabbed it.
Who eats lasagna in the basement?
Garfield?
A guy who watches NFL football on Sunday and does it in the basement.
He has his good TV in the basement.
Lasagna?
It was a plate?
It was a paper plate, yeah.
Oh, it was a paper plate.
Right.
Oh, so that's actually not that big of a deal.
The paper plate, yeah.
If it had been a real plate, it would have been a mess.
But it didn't break.
It was bad.
I fell all the way.
I fell about nine steps.
I'm fine.
My ankles hurt.
Nine steps to the basement?
It's an 11-step staircase.
I had you pegged for a split level.
But I made it down two steps before the fall started.
And what do you attribute the fall to?
I don't know.
I just, I've made that walk along, you know, every day for two and a half years.
And yesterday I just fell.
I was carrying a cup and the plate, so I didn't have hands.
What was in the cup?
Water.
Because my wife was taking a nap and I didn't have sweet tea.
I was mad that I didn't have sweet tea.
Plastic cup?
It was a glass cup.
It was a glass glass.
Did you yell?
I did.
And she ran in there and said, do you want me to call 911?
And I said, no.
Just let me lay here.
And what about the kids?
The kids all ran, too.
The kids were worried.
The kids were upset.
And you just said, let me lay here?
I said, let me lay here.
Tommy stayed on the steps while I laid there to make sure I was okay.
That's a fucking ride or die boy.
Yeah.
And then I went and laid on the couch, and Tommy stayed on the steps the whole time.
I've never witnessed my dad fall.
Yeah, do you think this is the first time your kids were reminded of your mortality?
Nobody witnessed the fall.
They witnessed the aftermath of the fall.
Do your kids know you're going to die one day?
I think so.
I think they're very – Tommy's well aware of it.
I don't know about the others.
The others don't really care as much.
The Sopranos is starting to reach that theme.
Like, well, just the regularness of death.
It's kind of depressing.
What do you mean it's for us?
I think that's a major theme of the show.
How everyone dies
and how easy...
The show's been done for 15 years.
What episode are you on?
I'm on season 4.
The rest of us aren't on season 4.
That was a conversation piece that was missing.
It's been his entire personality for about two months now.
This is what Glennie Balls did last year.
You guys have a lot in common.
Do you want us to spoil it?
No, please don't.
That's why I don't say anything I'm watching or doing.
I never really care about that, especially when other people are the victims, but I don't want this.
Oh, he wants to. Don don't no not as richie
aprile still not he's been dead yeah okay good i knew that but don't keep going no i know i did
that on purpose because i knew he died in season two i haven't started it shit that's all right
i'm not going to i'm not going jerry um i'm actually jealous of you I know It's the best
This is the highlight of my life
Although
No spoilers
Season 5
Is the worst season
That's the one coming up
They have an entire
There's an entire plot line
Of one of the guys
Is gay
I just want to watch the mob family
Interact with each other
I hate when like
The Meadows storyline
Yes
I can't stand it.
And the AJ.
Yeah, I hate both of them.
Well, AJ Soprano, all-time stoolie.
Robert Eiler.
Yeah.
Enormous stoolie.
Isn't he a big underground poker player?
Yes, yes.
Just a chill guy.
Stopped acting.
Shout out to him.
He's a fucking great guy.
Jerry?
No, what up?
How'd it go in there?
Bryce Hall didn't show up.
Oh, my goodness. Didn't show up. Oh, my goodness.
Didn't show up.
That's Marty's guy.
TikTok.
TikTok Marty.
What do you got?
TikTok Marty.
You don't really like the thing that he does with TikTok.
What did he say?
No.
You also sparred with Bryce Hall.
I did, yes.
You think he's an actual good fighter?
Who sat in this seat, Brandon?
You?
I don't remember.
It was you.
I don't remember.
Always is you.
Why?
Or was it Big F?
Big F.
No, seriously.
It was me.
All right, good.
He's in shape.
He's quick.
Oh, yeah, Big F sat in Rome's seat.
He's not a unit.
He's in shape.
He's quick.
But, I mean, look at me.
I'm definitely not in shape.
I'm definitely not, like, super fast.
Are you going to be in shape?
Wait, you're fighting Bryce Hall?
No, I sparred against him.
Oh.
Yeah.
And believe me, I held my own easily.
Fuck yeah, you did.
You know.
There's a Jerry Army.
I think boxing's really mental. Yeah. It's. You know. Jerry Army. I think boxing's
really mental.
Yeah.
It's pretty physical too.
I'd say being an athlete.
That's 50-50.
Yeah I think it's
really mental though.
It's all mental?
Like if you can take
a fucking punch.
Taking a punch
is the mental aspect of it.
That is probably the
purely mental.
You know.
But KB you
I mean
isn't wrestling
would you say 80% of wrestling is like who's
willing to endure the most pain um the as far as the match goes no but like the lead up to it
it's a mental squeeze mental there's a physically dominant guy though the mentals don't matter
right i mean it's hard it's a gray area where you don, the mentals don't matter, right? I mean.
It's hard.
It's a gray area where you don't know if it's stamina or is it the mental aspect of you think you're not in good enough shape,
so you, I don't know, become tired on accident.
Yeah.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Seven minutes is too long.
Is that how long a wrestling match is?
Yeah.
Three, two, two. Three, two, two.
With no break in between.
So is Roan supplying Nadeau with information?
I don't think Roan is the culprit.
I don't think Roan did it.
Roan didn't do it.
I don't think so.
Nick might have done it.
Me?
Are you sure you're not just believing Big Cat and Big Cat's covering for his guy?
No, I didn't talk to Roan about this at all.
Well, why me?
Well, I explained.
I was just lip syncing of something that I was thinking about saying.
What are you doing with your face right now?
I'm kind of upset.
You got an odd face right now.
I explained to Jerry that Roan is a
hijinks guy, but
Roan has also been framed
for hijinks.
The chocolate football. Oh, yes.
For everyone. I knew that would come back to bite me.
So I said nothing but facts.
I said the waters
are muddy when it comes to Roan.
They are. The waters are muddy with Roan.
But I don't know how Nadeau's address. Right, but you could have to Roan. They are. The waters are muddy with Roan. But I don't know how Nadeau's address.
Right, but you could have framed Roan
into thinking that Roan did it.
That's sick and twisted.
I'll steal a sweet treat,
but I won't do anything like that.
For everyone?
It was for everybody.
But me.
What was the thing you were lip syncing?
I was about to say something,
but I had to run it through my head and lip sync it.
And it's not...
The ratio of weird to funny is too weird.
Didn't pass the test?
Give it...
Text it to me.
I'll read it out loud.
Okay.
All right, perfect.
I don't want that.
No, why?
But you know what?
I'll read it out loud, but I won't tell you when I'm going to say it.
Ooh, I like that.
So you have to decide if what I'm saying, I'm going to memorize it. Oh I like that. You have to decide if what I'm saying I'm going to memorize it.
I'm just going to casually drop it in the rest of the show.
A lot of it's like delivery and cadence
so sure if you say it
like you might be a little might be a little
tough for you.
Why don't you include
some liner. I'll put the facial expressions
in the asterisk. Yeah please.
How you'd like me to deliver it.
And I will deliver it at some point
in the next 30 minutes.
Okay.
All right, so send that to me.
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I'm wearing the hoodie, man.
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Oh, you're wearing that?
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What did I say?
TravisMatthew.yack. My brain did I say? TravisMatthew.yak.
I went to sleep at 3 in the morning.
Were you wearing Travis Matthew in the picture that was tweeted?
Well, that's what I was saying.
Can you show us?
This is what Travis Matthew can do for you.
That just shows the – look at that stretch.
Yeah.
That is a very comfortable fit.
Why do you look like that?
It's couch.
The couch is also black.
Yeah, something like your belly is like amorphous.
Right, it doesn't look right.
No, it's like defying gravity, though.
It's not just falling.
It's not just spilling everywhere.
My chest is prominent as well.
It really is.
Barrel chest.
It looks like you're wearing a fat suit.
But you also don't have like a double chin, but like where's your neck? What are those like ridges? It looks like arel chested. It looks like you're wearing a fat suit. But you also don't have like a double chin. But like, where's your neck?
What are those like ridges?
It looks like a topography map.
I asked everyone to delete this picture and somehow it's still out there.
Even when you asked?
I asked.
Did you ask nicely?
I did.
I said, please delete this.
Boom.
It's been everywhere.
It's all I can see.
TravisMatthew.com slash yak.
20% off.
Yak 20. I can see. TravisMatthew.com slash yak, 20% off. Yak 20.
The Chicago guy should draft the worst pictures ever taken.
That's not bad.
Of individual people.
That one of JFK.
He looked horrible.
Can you send me the thing?
I'm not doing that.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
He did.
Split his hand.
Yeah.
He did.
Who are some other bad ones?
Bad photos of people.
We've all had them.
I think everybody here has at least one.
Guaranteed.
We're not perfect.
KB took one.
KB was tripping on Molly, and this fan asked for a photo and it's the worst
it's the worst photo of all time i wasn't on molly but i may have been no yeah you were
should i send the photo in the gem cylinder you have it i might you keep talking i'll find it
oh god what would you have been on other than molly i think i was drunk
off my ass no you weren't you were were red like an Oreo in a shower.
You're wet, I mean.
Wet.
Jerry, did you acquire a cheese Danish?
No.
The German bakery they told me to go to
doesn't make cheese Danishes.
They make blueberry Danishes.
Blueberry cheese.
Strawberry cheese. I was just looking for a cheese. You wanted strictly cheese. Yeah, They make blueberry danishes. Blueberry cheese. Strawberry cheese.
I was just looking for a cheese.
You wanted strictly cheese.
Yeah, they didn't make those.
Why did you want a danish?
Just was in the mood for one.
Yeah.
I like a cheese danish.
Who doesn't?
Danish is a good food.
It's a nice morning pick-me-up.
Zach, can I just text this to you?
Pick-me-up?
Zach's not here.
Zach's not here.
Can you text it to me?
Yeah, I have a bunch, too.
I found them.
Of what?
I can airdrop that over, too, if need be.
I'll open my airdrop.
Oh, Jordan also fell down the steps with a dish.
Jordan?
This Jordan?
Woodruff?
Oh, she dropped some stuffing on the steps.
Oh, yeah yes she did
Yeah
It looked good too
She thought she was
Going to be the butt
Of the joke for falling
But it was the stuffing
That ended up being
The
Why people don't like stuffing
They didn't like
Her version of stuffing
It was pretty bad
They hated her version of stuffing
You gotta have
You can't put a food
On the internet
The internet will
Hate it
Cornbread
And there's
Pieces of sausage in the stuff.
The internet hates food more than it hates anything else.
I tweeted a big juicy carrot once and people loved it.
Yeah.
That's the internet with every picture.
Every picture, yes, but for some reason they get just absolutely pissed off when it comes to food.
Food and thumbs.
Oh, people roast thumbs.
Kill your thumbs, dude. They're always pudgy. Don't ever put your thumb out there. Yeah. What's going on with his thumb? Oh, you thumbs Kill your thumbs dude
They're always pudgy
Don't ever put your thumb out there
Yeah
What's going on with his thumb
Oh you chewing your thumb
That's what I said
It didn't sound like
Yeah
You said
Chewing
Any minute
Do it one more time
Oh you chewing your thumb
That's how they say it
Any minute background detail
Always gets picked apart too
DJ I'm just clicking this
Hopefully it's you
I just sent you the pictures
The
There's a My airdrops Doug Dividome I don't see it then part too. DJ I'm just clicking this hopefully it's you. I just sent you the pictures.
My airdrops Doug Dividome.
I don't see it then.
The Grateful Dead have a live show CD
release called Dick's Picks and Hank made
Hank's Picks that are
just terrible pictures of me.
Different volumes.
It's been bad.
You should sell them as NFTs.
I don't photograph well.
Yeah, I should.
But sometimes you do.
I don't think so.
Yours is just like weight, though.
You have fat pictures.
Do you have a bad face pic?
Yeah, you don't have many bad faces.
My face is stunning.
That's why you are where you are.
Yeah, your face. His face opens many doors. Your big face guy. Jerry My face is stunning. That's why you are where you are. Yeah. Your face, yeah.
His face opens many doors.
Your big face guy.
Jerry's face, too.
Yeah.
Jerry's face is fucking...
Look at that face.
You're like Dirk Benedict.
I'm okay when it's head-on, but if I go profile, it's not good.
Let's see it.
I'm okay being the only one.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
I have a flat nose.
I have a ridged forehead.
Odd shape. it's okay
we gotta boost each other up more
nobody's perfect
well that's why we need Botox
Botox week is coming up
I'm gonna have the strongest jaw you've ever seen
you guys keep saying the phrase coming up
when is Botox week
it'll be next week
it should be now in April
yeah it's before Sass's birthday.
You don't know that.
Oh, we do.
We said it was coming up.
Maybe we combine Botox week with Sass's birthday.
So we're going to get drunk and be injected with Botox?
No, we inject each other.
Are we injecting each other?
We'll do a class where they teach us how to do Botox.
Okay.
And then we'll do it under the influence.
Can you get drunk while getting Botox stuff?
It sounds like that wouldn't be a great mix.
I mean, middle-aged white women do it, and they're probably always drunk.
Yeah, that one was bad.
All red.
Oh, shit.
Some confusing graphic design on Hank's part.
Hank's Volume 1 pics?
Yeah, I don't know.
It was Hank's Pics Volume 1.
Yeah.
That one's a little tamer.
It's the hat.
It's the hat.
It tapers your head.
The hat and also the shirt.
That's very bad.
The shirt from Walmart.
That one was taken off a TV.
Well, that just can't be you.
That would be the worst one.
That just can't be you.
Yeah, that was bad.
That was the home run derby.
Do you have an extender for the fanny pack on there?
So is he saying that every single pick is another volume?
That is insane.
That one is just.
That's like Bigfoot.
Yeah, but you can see that it's just mashed together.
My tits.
Yeah, thanks, TJ.
And then this one's the OG.
Kevin took this one.
Gosh.
Just seeing it.
Look at my belt.
It's really, really stretched. Hanging on for dear life. It's fucking stress test. one. Look at my belt.
It's really, really stretched.
It's fucking stress test.
That's a John Taffer stress test on my belt.
Oh my god.
We just had 30 customers walk in
ask for
appetizers and drinks.
That's Taffer.
Go.
Stress test.
What brand was that belt they stopped making it
because
NASA's using it
for seat belts now
it's actually the equator
his belt is
yeah
oh shit
get it
that was good
that one tickled me
oh man
Brandon are you a
grey jeans guy now
he's whatever I wear.
I wore these jeans on Thursday.
I literally wore those jeans.
No, you didn't.
You don't have these.
Oh, yeah?
You do not have these.
What are they?
These are blue Delta jeans from Tupelo, Mississippi.
Blue Delta.
These are blue Delta jeans from Tupelo, Mississippi.
These are very expensive jeans.
Whatever I wear.
You see, last week I tried to.
It's been getting progressively worse.
No, it's not.
Last week I'm trying to mix flannels back in to try to get one ahead because he's not a flannel guy.
Yet.
Right.
This is Travis Matthew.
He'll flannel me to death.
This is Blue Delta.
They sent me some jeans.
He's going to flannel me to death.
These are some great pants.
These are the best pants in the world.
I should just wear only Ole Miss shit.
They're friends of mine, and I'm wearing their pants for them.
That's all you can do.
You're forcing his hand.
I'm wearing their pants for them, and I'm making them
look good, too. Not bad.
Fuckers.
I can dress, too.
I can wear what I want.
Just like me.
These are gray pants. You don't own gray pants.
Yeah, I do. I actually have a patent patent.
But whose style changes at
42?
I've been consistent. My style hasn't changed at 42.? I've been consistent.
My style hasn't changed at 42.
My style has been consistent.
When were you hired?
My style changed at 40.
I moved to New York.
I'm just going to keep wearing West Point High School shirts in New York.
I think I'm actually the only barstool original guy whose style's never changed.
Steve, run that back.
Run it back, Steve.
Caitlyn Jenner.
There it is.
What are your thoughts on that, Jerry?
I'm not going to comment on that.
Okay.
It's the twins camp.
She won woman of the year.
Did you guys also see that Brandon won rudest guy in the office?
That's not fair.
Why?
I don't think he is.
I'm not.
I'm not.
Officially, he lost to Nate in a head-to-head family feud. I's not fair. Why? I don't think he is. I'm not. Officially, he lost to Nate
in a head-to-head family feud.
I did not lose. It shouldn't have ever been a competition.
I'm not in the top five.
It's not right.
You are definitely in the top five. I'm not.
100%
I say hello to you every day and I point at you.
What about you in the reptile house
at the zoo?
They made me mad. That was their fault. What about the fight youile house at the zoo? They made me mad.
That was their fault.
What about the fight you got in at the beach?
That was Jeremy's fault.
Jeremy made my kid cry.
You're going to get in a fight when somebody makes your kid cry?
No, I'm not rude.
Oh, if you don't, you're going to get in a fight when somebody's rude to your kid.
That's going to happen.
I'll be on a private beach.
That's going to happen.
Don't be no other beach. That's going to happen. We don't know other people.
Who's this?
You made somebody name...
Did you make somebody name Jeremy cry?
I did.
Well, I was...
Like the song.
I made him leave the beach.
There's the picture.
Oh, there's Kyle.
Kyle, you're saying...
What is this?
This is a fan that met Kyle when Kyle was at his peak.
Is that a dildo on a car?
What's going on? Oh, yeah. Is that a dildo on a car? What's going on?
Oh, yeah.
Is that a dildo?
I never even noticed that.
Me either.
What is that?
That's a dildo.
That's a person taking the picture and holding a beer.
That's a suction cup dildo.
Giving the finger.
Oh, you're right.
That's enough of this.
Oh, it is.
Take it down.
I also have Kyle's first Facebook picture attached.
That's not Doc's, this guy.
Who is that?
What?
Who's that guy?
It's a guy at the Gem Saloon.
I don't know why that guy wouldn't be.
It was KB's first Facebook picture when we became friends.
Oh, come on, boys.
That was normal in 2011.
Love that Fox logo.
Some people.
That's not me.
It is.
KB, are you back on your bullshit?
Come on. Are you back going out? Yeah. It is. KB, are you back on your bullshit? Come on.
Are you back going out?
Yeah.
Hell yes.
Yeah, but you haven't been drinking.
You've been going out, but you've been nursing beers, holding them as an accessory.
No, I've been drinking.
Yeah.
Getting ready for the case race.
We should do that.
That's going to be varied.
The winning team is going to have like 11 beers.
No, if we, no, no, no, no.
If we actually say we're doing this show
until it's done,
I think we'll, it'll probably take four hours.
Yeah.
It'll be a good show.
It should be some kind of prize,
some incentive,
because the one thing that I've learned
many times from those type of competitions
is you start them and then
three beers in, you're like, this is fucking
stupid. I'm not doing this anymore.
I think this is self-explanatory. So every team gets
a case of beer, 24 beers, and the first
one to finish wins? That's right.
No barfing allowed.
No barfing.
We could do teams of
three.
It kind of loses its luster.
It does, but it's still a lot, like eight beers.
Yeah.
It's not 12 beers, though.
Old us would be ashamed, though.
I am old me.
Old me would be fine.
Old, young us.
Old, young us.
Old me to old me. Old me would be fine. Old, young us. Old, young us. Old me to old me.
Yeah, exactly.
Did you like old you or do you like old you?
What's your favorite you?
I'm pretty comfortable with old me.
Currently old me, besides the weight and the heartburn,
which I'm fighting right now. A losing team should have to get Botox somewhere. That. And the heartburn. Which I'm fighting right now.
The losing team should have to get Botox somewhere.
That should be the winning.
Botox? That should be winning.
A wrinkled-ass dick?
Imagine.
If I whipped out a wrinkled-ass dick,
your first inclination would be to suck it.
You'd have to.
Just for the mouthfeel. Has to beat all business Pete within an inch of his life?
I love that.
That's like a really good incentive.
A cusp of death.
You don't like that guy.
No, I hate him.
He's the worst.
He doesn't come.
The losing team or the winning team?
The losing team because you'll probably go to jail.
You'll also be drunk and you might actually do it.
That's true.
We might have to clear the office that day.
Yeah.
I'm very excited.
Yeah, rules are rules.
I want Sass to turn 21 tomorrow.
We should still give him non-alcoholic beer and see if he acts drunk.
Let's placebo somebody.
Maybe not Sass. Let's
get somebody.
Who are we going to get?
Everybody's gettable.
Oh yeah.
Brandon?
Probably. How did Sass defend himself?
Did he do a good job? Yeah, he did good.
He did good.
Did he have his daddy there, Roan?
Roan was there.
He didn't say much, though.
He was just in the background.
Yeah, but Roan's a presence of confidence.
Yeah.
No, Sass was just saying, I never said I would beat him up in a fight.
Yeah, but if Bryce Hall didn't show up, what Sass said didn't matter.
Sass won.
Yeah, Sass won that.
What was the shit
talking that stemmed
all of that?
So, apparently, the
Bustin' with the Boys
episode they recorded a
couple months ago came
out after the Son of a
Boy Dad with Bryce
Hall on it.
Sass didn't talk shit
about Bryce Hall on the
Son of a Boy Dad
episode, and then there
was a couple lines in
the Bustin' episode where
Bryce Hall thought he was talking shit, but Bryce Hall thought he was talking shit after he on the Son of a Boy Dad episode and then there was a couple lines in the Bustin episode where Bryce Hall thought he was
talking shit. But Bryce Hall
thought he was talking shit after he was on
Son of a Boy Dad. But isn't it still
what's worse?
I don't know. I don't care.
That's what we're talking about. Bryce Hall
took exception to going on Son of a Boy Dad
and not hearing something
and then later Bustin with a Voice comes out
and he talks shit about it.
But it's Bryce Hall.
Yeah, I don't know anything about it.
What is Bryce Hall?
He's a TikToker
that has risen to fame
by being a handsome boy, I guess.
Is he one of the dancers?
I know who he is.
I don't know what he is either.
He's a good-looking young boy.
Is he one of the dancers?
Is that how he rose to fame?
Yeah, sure.
I think he was voted hottest 22-year-old, and that's a good pool of boys.
Oh, man.
Just the hottest.
There's a lot of 22-year-olds right now.
Over Juan Soto?
Juan?
Yeah.
He's the only 22-year-old I can name.
He might be 21.
Stephen Chay's data is completely debunked.
Tie.
Yep.
Tie.
Oh, fuck.
Stephen Chay had an all-time, all-time bad take day yesterday.
Oh, it's happened today.
I got here, and he and Dave and Coley argued for an hour.
He was hitting at like 100% of bad takes.
It was incredible.
Was it a Mac Jones take?
Mac Jones.
The Bucks.
That's pretty good.
What?
I don't know what to do now.
What?
I guess Nick and I are the only ones who caught that or know what that is.
Only real rap fans understand.
8004.
Yeah, it was Mac Jones.
It was the Bucks being good.
The Mac Jones take wasn't necessarily wrong.
I did a poll.
2,500 votes.
It was 53-47.
What do you mean wasn't necessarily wrong?
I do think there's some crowning of Mac Jones.
Wait a minute.
What do you mean wasn't necessarily wrong? do think there's some crowning of mac jones wait a minute what do you mean wasn't necessarily wrong who got more votes the mac jones crowd it's just would you rather
take back jones right now for the rest of his career i mean i'm saying it's a very close it's
not like it's what's the other option who would you who would you rather have at this point in
their career for the rest of their career, Tom Brady or Mac Jones?
Mac Jones.
I still think that's crazy.
Tom Brady is 45 years old.
He's playing great football.
And you said he still may have—
How many years did he play good yesterday?
Did you say he might have five and a half seasons left?
He said he's interested to play until he's potentially 50.
No way.
Okay, but you said the same thing when he's talking about playing until he's 45.
He's already under contract for another season and a half. No he would i there was definitely i didn't think he would be
this good still but i definitely when he can't he always said he wanted to play to his mid 40s i was
like yeah he probably will 50 you think he's gonna be this good for five more years even still mac
jones i'm not betting against tom brady mac jones has been very good i'm not saying that he hasn't
i did a breakdown of him a couple weeks ago saying that he was very good.
All right, so there was this take.
Then Devontae Smith had an incredible game, which Steve Chase said he was undraftable.
That's big time.
I said he's going to be an awesome pro.
Did you see that Ryan Whitney kind of tried to tag team you with Gaz on the Viva La Stool handle?
What?
No.
Just saying that.
Pro Scout just said,
Max is the type of talent that grows on trees.
Wow.
He's the biggest dummy in that office.
Back to third floor.
Sell some ads and hang up the whistle.
That's pretty funny.
Best football right now of any rookie, you dummy.
Ooh.
Wow, you dummied him back.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, Steven.
Damn. Oh, my word, Chad. Oh, Steven. Damn.
Oh, my word, Chad.
Steven.
How could you?
Oh, my God.
Fuck me.
Steven.
That's pretty awesome.
My word, Steven.
Where is that?
Who is that guy in there?
That just happened an hour ago?
TJ, pull that back up.
Wow.
Ratio him.
Jesus. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Ratio him. Jesus.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Ratio Ryan.
Yeah, I'm on Team Steve.
You know, he did.
He won it.
Oh, my God.
One punch knockout.
I didn't know you had that in you, Steven.
I got a lot in me.
Oh, my word.
Careful.
Don't say that out loud.
But you were wrong about the tie
and also Steven offered up
No, don't do this.
I said the data didn't predict injuries.
Why wouldn't the data predict injuries?
Those happen every year.
Also, Big Ben is the one guy you could
predict an injury about.
Not that he didn't have COVID.
The data's bad. What? It doesn't matter if it's COVID or not.
Also, the data should have taken COVID into effect.
Should have taken COVID into account.
COVID was a part of our society.
Absolutely.
Also, Stephen offered up midway through the overtime,
the overtime rules amongst a group of football watchers
that everyone knows the overtime rules.
And gamblers, yes.
Jerry, was I wrong? I mean, yes, you were wrong. Yeah. Everybody knows the rules. everyone knows the overtime. Jerry, was I wrong?
Yes, you were wrong.
Everybody knows the rules.
Okay, so
to set the scene, it just goes into overtime.
It's 16-16. They do a
flashback of the game however many
years ago in the 90s where it's the wrong coin flip.
The game
ends 19-16.
Everyone's like, oh, it's going to end 1916
because Detroit's moving down the field.
So all I pointed out was, hey, if they kick a field goal,
Pittsburgh's still going to get the ball back.
We know that, though.
Yeah, we know it.
It's a good point.
It's a good point.
But I think even though the rules have changed.
Everyone was just doom and gloom, like, oh, it's over,
they're going to kick a field goal.
That's how you watch football, though. But even though the rules have changed. Everyone was just doom and gloom. Like, oh, it's over. They're going to kick the field goal.
That's how you watch football, though.
But even though the rules have changed,
overtime still end with a majority of field goals.
They end on field goals more than they end on touchdowns. Correct.
But everyone was so doom and gloom that Detroit had the ball
and was moving the ball into field goal range.
I felt like I needed to point that out.
Najee Harris didn't know that the game could end in a tie.
Yeah, that was crazy.
Donovan McNabb.
There's always a player. Every time there's a tie, that was crazy. Donovan McNabb. There's always a player.
Every time there's a tie, I look up the Donovan McNabb quote.
It's amazing.
He said, would hate to see a tie.
His day's about to get worse.
Drop it.
Do it.
Yeah, I think we need to do this.
Donovan McNabb said, would hate to see a tie in the playoffs or Super Bowl.
He said that no that would suck it would really suck he is right spending all off season discussing who should have won he truly thought that the super bowl could end in a tie donovan
donovan mcnab yes he thought yeah he thought it could end in a tie the exact quote that would be
exciting yeah i think in 2003 or 2003 seasons or 2004,
there was a double overtime playoff game, Rams and Panthers.
Should have been a tie.
Yeah, that's just the team that they were supposed to play gets a bye.
Maybe not the time or place for it,
but I do think it's ridiculous that we play four 15-minute quarters
and then we have a 10-minute overtime.
That's really stupid.
Agreed.
These drives can sometimes take so long that you only get one bite of the apple on these things,
and 10 minutes isn't enough.
Why make that 10 minutes?
Why would this not be the time and place for it?
We're literally just talking about that.
That was the most apt situation.
I feel like this isn't the show where you talk about a whole lot of sports.
We're all football fans. Let's talk about a whole lot of sports. We're all football fans.
Let's talk about sports from time to time.
We weave it in.
We don't have to exclusively not talk about sports.
It's the magic of the yak.
Okay, it's really stupid.
NFL overtime is 10 minutes.
It's really stupid.
Brandon, it's not stupid
because remember 10 years ago
when Bob Lee did a bunch of fucking
outside the lines
and everyone freaked out because everyone's brain was
going to explode and they're like, let's make the game safer.
Let's cut five minutes
out of the thing that happens like
four times a year.
That helps.
See? It's smart.
That's how you add in a bunch of Thursday Night Football games.
CTE has gone down
precipitously.
You like that? I nailed that.
My brain's not working, but I got that.
I got it.
You want me to do it again?
We'll add 60 more minutes to every schedule.
CT has gone down precipitously.
Clip that.
Clip that.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I've been trying out more big words.
I used apoplectic the other day.
Did you use it right?
Yep.
Brandon copying my style all the time is making me apoplectic Oh wow Did you use it right? Yep Like Brandon copying my style All the time
Is making me apoplectic
I don't know what that word means
Not copying your style
Angry
You don't wear blazers
I wear blazers
I have those blazers
You don't wear
You don't wear colored socks
Like I do
I wear colored socks
Ratio cam
Ratio cam
Oh no
I'm gonna retweet it
Let's ratio cam this
I love it
We're all retweeting the ratio?
Let's get this to the most liked tweet of all time.
TJ, I'm just saying that.
What is Wish?
It's a shopping website that sells a bunch of bootleg stuff.
Oh, yeah.
It's awful.
Have you seen the bootleg stuff, Barstool stuff on Redbubble?
Yeah, pretty much every shirt we ever make.
It's fantastic.
Every shirt Brandon wears on the Brandon Walker College Football Show also hits that site.
Really?
Like fake sites.
I get all these fucking...
Oh, those bots.
Every time I tweet it out, the bots hit it.
Wait, let's see if we can get the bots to respond with a t-shirt of something.
Oh, yeah.
They're relentless.
Yeah, there it is
why oh no you copy how i sit i mean that's no compliment that you're amazon brand
why that's kind of cheap stuff too well there's nice stuff on amazon you're right and cheap stuff
and everything it's got amazon just owns my brain where it's like you ever you ever go find
something that you want to buy online and you're like let me see if it's on amazon because i have
all my my information already you don't have to add your credit card and all that this bitch ass
dude dm me saying it was nasty when you sneezed on the yak.
Suck my dick.
Oh.
I sneezed.
Sorry.
When did you sneeze?
I don't remember.
Did I sneeze on the yak?
It was probably pick central.
You did.
I think it was during the read.
I think it was fine.
I have a genuine.
He knows the exact time.
I know societal standards aren't taught in Mississippi, but yikes, that was gross.
Any grown man that uses yikes can suck my dick.
I had this thought today on the train.
Everyone has to wear a mask, right?
No.
Not in America.
Sorry.
On NJ Transit, when you're taking the train in, it is mandatory to wear a mask.
I don't.
You don't take NJ Transit.
Whatever.
If you have to sneeze, what are you supposed to do?
Do you just sneeze in your mask and you just have to deal with it?
Or do you pull the mask down and sneeze in your elbow or arm? I think you've got to go in mask. Yeah. You've supposed to do? Do you just sneeze in your mask and you just have to deal with it? Or you pull the mask down and sneeze in your elbow or arm?
I think you've got to go in mask.
Yeah.
You've got to what?
Go in the mask.
Yeah.
Jump off the train.
That sucks.
Yeah.
Because people will fucking, they'll kill you if you sneeze around them these days.
Oh, yeah.
But if you, like, cover it up?
I don't really have tangible sneezes.
Nothing really comes out.
Show us the sneeze.
Sneeze for us.
Give me a...
Some pepper?
Or a feather?
I can feel it roll up a tissue to make it real thin.
I can tickle my nostrils and induce a sneeze.
I learned yesterday PFT was a sneeze eater.
Oh, that's bad for you.
His eyes will pop out.
You're not going to use paper.
I can.
How's the ratio going?
Oh, my.
Oh, is the ratio complete?
No, we're down like 200.
Okay, okay.
Bitch, I love those fat asses.
What?
That was the line that Kyle texted me.
No, it fucking wasn't.
Yeah, it was.
Kyle, that was weird.
It was actually the full line was,
Bitch, I love those fat asses on the Jews.
Yeah, okay, that does sound like him now.
Get the best head.
That's what he said.
Yeah, that does sound like Kyle.
He's going to do...
That's awful.
I hate that.
Oh, oh, oh.
He's going to get to that point.
All right, get the camera off.
What if you lose it?
What if you lose it?
What if you lose it in your brain you lose it? You lose it in your brain.
Oh my God.
Oh.
You're a big beasties.
Some strong sinuses on this boy.
This guy puts stuff up his nose all the time.
He knows what he's doing.
Hello.
Hey-ho.
He's talking coke.
Oh, wow.
That was a good one.
That was cute.
That was cute.
That was good. Steve's cute. That was good.
Sneeze all over the microphone.
Yeah.
Sneeze week.
Are we doing sneeze week?
All right.
Just get plates of pepper.
Pass it around.
Cinnamon challenge.
Oh, loser.
Oh.
Loser of the case race has to sneeze. Loser of the case race has to do the cinnamon challenge right after. Oh, loser. Oh. Loser of the case race has to sneeze.
Loser of the case race has to do the cinnamon challenge right after.
Oh, my God.
The amount of vomit.
That should absolutely be it.
Yeah.
All right.
That would be very funny.
Yeah, that sets the bar.
It's just guaranteed nothing better than the payoff being a big puke.
Yeah, it will happen. Right. It's like a big puke. Yeah, it will happen.
Right, it's like a guaranteed puke at the end.
I'll puke if I surpass eight.
Wait, what is the cinnamon challenge?
Spoonful of cinnamon.
Okay, so you definitely would puke if you had a...
Is it puke, though, or is it just you get it real dry?
So what would make someone puke?
Bananas and Sprite.
Bananas and Sprite.
What?
Is that real?
Yeah.
Shot of tequila. Shot of tequila.
Shot of tequila after the case race.
Good God.
Yeah, bananas and Sprite, right?
The combination.
Can we look that up?
Is the ratio happening?
Slow down.
He has his own army.
If he pushes back, we might be fucked.
Impossible.
All right, boys.
We got anything else?
I think we can get on now.
What the hell?
We got more?
I want to clear my name.
It wasn't me that sent it to Nadeau.
Don't have his number, address.
Don't have access.
They don't even give me T-shirts. Can we watch one of these real quick?
That guy's name is Badlands? Oh, yeah. No, it's Badlands Booker. He's the competitive eater. Yeah, but. Don't have access. They don't even give me T-shirts. Can we watch one of these real quick? That guy's name is Badlands?
Oh, yeah.
No, it's Badlands Booker.
He's the competitive eater.
Yeah, but that's LA Beast.
He's my favorite.
Wait, so can we watch one of the shorter ones?
I don't want to see someone who's good at it.
No, LA Beast is always puking.
If you're not good at this, you're scientifically guaranteed to throw up.
That's not true.
Yeah, it is.
LA Beast ate a bunch of cacti.
Great video.
All right, so what do you do?
I love to watch people.
Dominate the banana and Sprite challenge on steroids.
Now, for those of you who don't know what the banana and Sprite challenge is,
you have to eat two bananas, drink one liter of Sprite, and do so without vomiting.
Now, I have completed this challenge in the past,
but I feel that my performance was not peaceful.
You want to extend the show?
You want to do it today?
Yeah.
Yeah?
I'll do it with you.
Go get it.
Oh, Jesus.
Bananas and Sprite. These 18 bananas.
Drink over a gallon of Sprite.
And then spin around in this chair for one minute without vomiting.
Get up and walk out of this room like a complete boss.
Now, if I can successfully complete this challenge.
All right, go forward.
Go forward.
I'm going.
I'll get sick.
Come on.
That's a lot of bananas.
Why is it scientific?
Let the music slow down.
Come on, more, more, more.
I love you.
I do too.
More. It's the funniest thing in the world toke. I do too. More.
It's the funniest thing in the world to me.
That wasn't very much.
That's it?
What the hell?
I don't constitute that as a loss.
I couldn't keep going.
Why wouldn't that be a loss?
That's because it wasn't puke.
That was a little spit up.
It's like a little beep.
I think he's going to beat it.
That's what I'm saying.
I don't think so now.
I don't want that.
He didn't even get to the second leader
Count it Oh my god. Dude, I love your videos.
They make me laugh so fucking hard.
Okay.
You can show me any puke video and I'll laugh uncontrollably.
I think I'm done.
Do one more.
Show us one more.
I think I 100% clearly failed this challenge.
I'm still going to give those headphones away because...
I want to see a less produced one.
Yeah, we should do a puke day.
Oh my god.
We're all going to puke.
No, we're all going to puke before we get to that point.
Yeah, you're all going to puke before we get to that point. But that would be incredible.
Yeah, you're right.
If we all puked.
That would bring us closer.
The family guy scene?
Yeah.
Where they're all just puking. I like to more say the Stand By Me.
Blueberry pie.
That's the pie eating competition.
Great movie.
Great movie.
Never seen it.
Brent is not really cultured.
I've never seen Stand By Me. You haven't? Jerry O'Connell, bro. Okay, cool. Sorry, I. Never seen it. The brand is not really cultured. I've never seen Stand By Me.
You haven't?
Jerry O'Connell, bro.
Okay, cool.
Sorry, I didn't see it.
I missed that one.
That's like the most you movie ever.
Yeah, it really is.
The era, the theme.
I think it's a biography of your life.
Stephen King?
Yeah, it is.
That's Stephen King, isn't it?
No.
Yeah, that's early Stephen King.
It might be.
It is Stephen King.
You might be right.
Can we watch one more?
I hate to do this, but the Family Guy episode where they do three Stephen Kings,
one of them is Stand By Me, one of them is Shawshank, one of them is Misery.
Is it Stephen King?
Yeah.
The boys aren't sexualized enough.
Oh, here we go, here we go.
It's early King.
If you don't know what this is about,
it is pretty much where we combine either a food and a liquid
or two foods or something.
What?
Pretty much just to make me throw up.
I know.
Viewer discretion is very much advised.
Way too many British people.
Oh, yeah.
Nine bananas down.
One liter of Sprite down.
Actually, 1.25 liters.
He sounds all right.
I'm pretty good, guys.
I fell a little bit, but not really.
Not yet.
No?
Oh!
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
Dude, I could do a whole show
of just watching people puke.
Nick, do you want to start a new podcast?
Yeah, where we're just... It's a podcast where we're watching people puke. Nick, do you want to start a new podcast? Yeah, where we're just...
It's a podcast where we are watching people puke.
We should actually do
a YouTube video. We're going to do that.
Nick and I are going to produce a YouTube video
and put it on Yak. Just a puke a week.
It's just us watching a puke and grading it.
Puke reactions, yeah.
The first sentence
they say after the puke is the funniest to me.
Oh my god, it's the best. I don't know what it is. Something got crossed in my brain when I was born. The first sentence they say after the puke is the funniest to me. Oh, my God.
It's the best.
I don't know what it is.
Something got crossed in my brain when I was born.
Just puke, instant laughter.
It's funny.
Instant laughter.
It's funny.
No matter what.
Like, any situation.
Brandon, you don't like puking?
Is that going to make you sick?
No, I won't get sick, but I can't watch other people puke.
I do not like it.
No, you guys, fake puke doesn't do it.
I don't mind puking.
Brandon, you're going to have to do the spray challenge with everyone else.
I don't want to puke either.
No, I think you should.
Actually, no.
That would actually kill Brandon.
Don't you puke all the time?
I don't puke all the time. I puke once a quarter probably.
Once a quarter? Fiscal? Yeah.
Once a fiscal quarter. I get a
migraine every... Whenever I get a migraine
I puke a lot.
I just love puke videos. They're the best.
They're the fucking
best. Who's that guy?
That's Arian Foster.
Who's that? Took Steve Slayton's fucking
job.
Running back? He's not really... He's not really what? That's Arian Foster. Took Steve Slayton's fucking job.
He's not really what?
Oh, we're catching up.
We're catching up.
What's he not really?
His is going up too.
You don't think he's a good what?
I mean, like what?
TJ, delete this. Delete this, TJ.
One great year?
Okay, but that's...
Delete what?
It's cool.
Still a big accomplishment.
Yeah, no, for sure.
Have any time in the NFL as an accomplishment.
Yeah.
You don't like Arian Foster.
I mean, I'm not a superstar.
I like superstars.
I like T.J. Watt.
Should we end the show?
You like T.J. Watt.
Jerry yesterday, when T.J. Watt went down with an injury...
Yeah.
I thought we were going to lose Jerry
would you die
with his knee
put it to you this way
yeah
if he got
if he got an ACL
for the year
and he was done
for the year
I'd leave Barstool
Jesus
that wouldn't solve anything
in this half a season
you'd leave?
Yeah.
I couldn't show my face right here.
That could happen.
That could happen any week.
Here?
No.
I mean, he could get hurt next week.
Yeah, and then I'm gone.
Chase Young tore his ACL.
That's what I confirmed today.
Wait, what?
Why would you leave?
That doesn't solve anything.
I didn't want to show my face around here anymore.
You'd be embarrassed?
Why would you take it so personally?
It's not your knee.
It's my favorite.
Oh, give us.
Not your fault.
You could not be here for two months.
That happens.
Yeah, before we finish, give us any other conversation with the Detroit punter.
No.
He kind of owned you.
No, he didn't.
What did the Detroit punter do?
He didn't stop it.
The Detroit punter flopped for a call and cherry DM'd him.
And the guy DM'd him back.
The Lions punter.
What'd you say?
So this guy, he went for a punt, and Steelers player didn't even touch him,
and he flopped and fell.
I said, you're a faker and a punk.
And he said, wow, you're shot.
That's a sign.
I know a dog.
You're short.
You're short, sorry.
Sorry.
Holy shit, you're short. That's a sign. Clyde Edwards H. You're short. You're short. Sorry. Holy shit, you're short.
That's a sign.
Clyde Edwards Hilaire is short.
I know a dog named Clyde.
Raiders are dogs tonight.
That was a funny reply.
It sounds like he's a fan of you.
I didn't like it.
So you're a bubblegum fraud.
Nice acting skills tonight.
Bubblegum fraud.
Did you block Pat Firemouth?
No Okay good
No
Alright
To wrap up
See everyone tomorrow?
Yeah
He's still fast
Check YouTube for a new puke video
On the Yak Barstool channel
Yes
Nick and I are going to have a puke of the week
We will release it every week. Yeah, it's time to talk shop.