The Yak - Francis is Back After Being Re-Hired by Barstool | The Yak 9-15-22

Episode Date: September 15, 2022

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right, it's the Yak on Thursday. The huge comeback on the show. Francis Fleming. Francis Fleming. Francis. In the building. Welcome back.
Starting point is 00:00:38 He's somewhere. We still got it wrong. Look, he's still not on. All right. We split the difference between the two Francis's. Double reveal. There's KB in the corner. Double Francis.
Starting point is 00:00:52 Me. Welcome to Tank Thursdays. A lot has changed. We'll start with this, Francis. You all right? You good? Bad day to be a Lego necklace. Okay. Misery. All right. Are you all right? You good? Pain. Bad day to be a Lego necklace. Ring.
Starting point is 00:01:06 Okay. Misery. All right. Francis. Yeah. Back in the building. Great to see you guys. After a three-year absence? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Oh, my God. A couple gap years. Yeah. Pretty wild. It's so good to see you all. Seriously, I'm really happy to be here. I know. I fucking missed you guys.
Starting point is 00:01:25 There's a warm aura. It really is. It's really nice. It's really nice. It's good to have you here. How was Africa? Africa was cool, man. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:01:34 How are you? You're from Africa. Oh, wow. Yeah. Breaking news. Breaking news. Did you stand out there um well interestingly you know the whole safari side of things is is visited entirely by like rich white people in fact they have a term for it amakuru which when
Starting point is 00:01:56 you're driving to your game drives and your gorilla tracking and stuff all the kids in the villages will scream that at you but it's a term of affection because they've been taught by their parents that the tourism industry is really helpful to everybody. So they wave and they yell, I'm a Kudu, I'm a Kudu. It's really, you feel. Just over-pronouncing the hell out of that word. You don't have to pronounce that word that hard. I try to get it right.
Starting point is 00:02:24 Otherwise, it's cultural appropriation. That's right. How is it? What is it again? It's cultural incompetence to pronounce it wrong. Yeah. Give it one more time. Amakuru.
Starting point is 00:02:34 Amakuru. Maybe I'm saying it wrong. Do you hunt in big game? Sounds like you're not. No. In Kenya, you can't hunt. It's totally illegal. The entire country?
Starting point is 00:02:41 Correct. If you want to go hunt an elephant or a big... You got to poach. You got to do it at night. You go to South at a pouch oh that's oh yeah dude south africa is lawless man i think it gets too good of a rap it's yeah it's not great it's not as good people think it's like it's really dangerous johannesburg is really bad yeah um and and we were we were flying home through uh johannesburg and we we had done our safari in Kenya. And of the big five, which are the animals that everyone talks about.
Starting point is 00:03:12 Elephant, hippo, zebra. Rhino. Rhino. I think it's like lion. It's leopard. What? It's leopard, buffalo. What?
Starting point is 00:03:22 Who's about giraffe? Limited these to five. It's like lion it goes to the water buffalo right there's a difference between the there's a difference
Starting point is 00:03:31 between the American bison and the water buffalo that's big time yeah but anyway you didn't finish the list of five I really need the list of five
Starting point is 00:03:39 I need it as well pretty sure it's cape buffalo leopard lion rhino rhino, and elephant. So we're just not impressed when zebras come around? Is that the thing?
Starting point is 00:03:50 Zebras are everywhere. It's not cool. They're as plentiful as the wildebeest. Oh. They're almost like... That's how I would have compared them. Damn. Now I get it.
Starting point is 00:04:01 We were there for the Great Migration, and they were fucking like mosquitoes. Did you get to see a stampede? Yeah. I have videos and everything. This was Theo Huxtable's dream vacation, to go to Nairobi, Kenya, and see the wildebeest cross the river. Yeah. It was cool.
Starting point is 00:04:15 Episode 11 of season two. Jesus. Wow. Do you see anything metal? Do you see anything get eaten? We didn't see any kills. We saw some mating. That was cool. Yeah. oh yeah oh yeah people or the
Starting point is 00:04:27 animals uh we just saw gorillas we went and saw wild mountain gorillas in rwanda and that's like a specific trip you got to go just countries where you're in you were in rwanda too yeah i heard that's on the up and up like that's like the cultural or economic hub. Yes. Brooklyn of Africa. They've really turned it around. They've turned it around, but the genocide was only 1994. Wow. It was like one of the darkest chapters in human history, and it was so recent. So everybody there has, at least a lot of people,
Starting point is 00:05:00 seem to have a direct family member who was a Hutu or a Tutsi. Yeah. We went to the genocide memorial. That was really tragic. Yeah. Fucked up. This was your honeymoon. Honeymoon.
Starting point is 00:05:10 Yeah. That was the first thing you guys did. But you get there, and your guide or whatever is like, you got to go do this. And he lost his aunt, uncle, and daughter or whatever. So you're like, okay. Yeah. I've never understood the appeal of
Starting point is 00:05:26 memorials. Didn't you used to spend weeks at a time at the 9-11 memorial? It's not a vacation destination for me. I think we thought that was the one true non-touristy thing to do.
Starting point is 00:05:41 How deep into the honeymoon did you go to the Rwanda genocide memorial? Day five or six. did you go to the Rwanda genocide memorial? Day five or six. Did you have sex the same day? No. We lost the will. That'll do it. Sorry if I'm prying.
Starting point is 00:05:57 Whenever I'm trying not to cum, I think the Rwanda genocide. It would work. This is the area where the blood diamonds were, right? I think that's more West Africa. Still Africa, Francis. Sierra Leone, Ivory Coast, places like that. And the Congo. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:15 So that's pretty close. But to finish this, the Big Five. Oh, this won't be finished, but go ahead. Only animal we didn't get to see of the big five was a leopard because they're notoriously shy. Oh, they'll hide on you. They hide. And we were kind of bummed about that because we'd gone looking for them
Starting point is 00:06:33 a couple days and just didn't struck out. So sure enough, fast forward to we're flying home 10 days later out of Johannesburg, and we are in the security line at the Johannesburg airport and some 65 year old American is, you know, he's wearing like, he's got like a camouflage backpack on and we had seen him check guns at the, you know, check-in. And so he was like, uh, oh, did you guys do safari? We were like, yeah, we did. It was really cool. And he's like, I did too. A hunting safari.
Starting point is 00:07:07 We're like, oh, cool, man. And immediately he pulls up his phone. We're in the security line. Yeah. You can't go anywhere. And he starts scrolling through photos of all the animals that he murdered. And sure enough, he ends on the leopard that he fucking killed. He sounds like a hell of a hunter.
Starting point is 00:07:26 My wife is crying. I thought you did this, you got one, and then you were done. One and done. Yeah, you keep going. And one of each animal, though. Oh, my God. It's horrible. It's so weird, dude.
Starting point is 00:07:38 I thought it was a one-time thing. He had, like, buffaloes. He was a buffalo. Wild cats. And then maybe. He was a rhino. You might only be able to kill one leopard. Like you get a tag or something to kill.
Starting point is 00:07:49 No, leopards were an animal that you killed. Right. But like how could you want to see that and just be like, that's beautiful. I want to kill it. Yeah. That's like Fight Club. Yeah. It's an elephant.
Starting point is 00:07:58 Or a letto. And I got his tusk. It got testing. Don't follow. Because he had us cornered. Between you and the guy on the security line. Well, I'm watching my wife and she's like, you know, her eyes are welling up. And I go, I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 00:08:11 You know, if there's any chance, no judgment. I said that. I was like, no judgment. Do what you want. We're just, we probably don't want to see any more pictures. And then I said, I made a mistake. I go, we love animals. And he took that as a passive
Starting point is 00:08:26 aggressive you don't love animals and he goes i love animals too they look really good on my wall yeah and i was like oh no i have no problem with that and he goes what you think that you know this is not it's all bullshit he goes it's all propaganda they tell you that there aren't enough animals there's too many that's why they allow this to happen. In fact, the money for the permits in South Africa goes back to the conservation of the animals. And I was like, okay, now we're getting into a war of words in the security line. And I was like, that's okay. Again, no judgment.
Starting point is 00:09:02 Do whatever you want. And he was like, well, I don't see why my pictures offended you so much. Then I was like, well, if you had murdered humans on there, I wouldn't want to see photos of it either. Or roadkill, let's say. He was like, oh, you're a funny man. I was like, literally. That's on my list. And then he didn't get that.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Fortunately, then his wife pulled him away. And she was like, Jeff, not everyone is like you. Is that your first time meeting our new outdoors guy? Yeah. Or you knew? Yeah. So that's my. You're so good at storytelling.
Starting point is 00:09:37 I know. I should have hired you so long ago. I know. And then you went to the next guy and goes, hey, you want to see all the animals he killed? Boun bouncing around. It is a crazy thing to just be like, oh, you guys did the safari? Look at this. You're on board.
Starting point is 00:09:55 And to clearly see that your wife is probably not loving it and being like, no, keep looking. I don't know. It kind of added his wife character at the very end. What was she doing this whole time? She was standing right next to us, but she was kind of nice and was the only person that was aware. She understands Jeff.
Starting point is 00:10:10 She was reading the room. Yeah, that there's two sides of it. There's people who are thrilled to watch you show off what you killed. And he started shaming us. He was like, you guys did a photo safari. That's what he called it. Okay. He was like, oh, we just thought it was a safari.
Starting point is 00:10:27 And he's like, no, you did a photo safari, but that's not the animals in their real habitat. They're accustomed to the trucks coming up. You want to really know what it's like to be around a tiger or a lion? You got to get down in the reeds with them. And he goes, did you know that for every one second that a leopard is on you, it's 140 stitches? That's the conversion rate? I was like, who would time that? That doesn't seem right either.
Starting point is 00:10:52 Why would anyone not be like, I should probably get in there? If it's on you 10 seconds, that's 1,400 stitches. You're dead. It's your whole body. His wife, you know, if she was wearing a leopard skin coat, would that have actually counted as seeing a leopard? Good question, Frank. Yeah, he's bringing the noise. I'm not sure.
Starting point is 00:11:13 I like to imagine that the hunting safari is just like 30 feet behind the regular safari. It's just a little earlier. They don't kill elephants, do they? No, but fortunately... Some do, right? No, they do. Jimmy John. Is that even hard to do?
Starting point is 00:11:30 Depends. Oh, I got it. Yeah, no shit. You can't miss it. I don't know about how. Yeah, I think each country is different. But in Namibia, they have 110,000 elephants. And they destroy the whole terrain.
Starting point is 00:11:47 They destroy the trees. They fuck up the farmer's lands uh they run through houses they're they're they're a pest as well and so i think the government will allow a certain number of elephants to be killed to try to like yeah that's this is what the yakuza is involved with too we have needed an expert on africa for a while yeah yeah so so is it like a net positive for africa so allow that we another hunter i'm asking you oh sorry just shut shut the fuck up um another hunter who had been behind and had witnessed our interaction and had but he was like this guy was the middle ground yeah he afterwards we were in the you know waiting area with him and and i asked he had seen it and was like yeah i'm sorry about that that was kind of a bummer we under we hunt
Starting point is 00:12:37 too but we understand that not everyone is you know wants to see that and he then explained all of it and was like there it's it's a very gray debate because people seem to be on both sides but the reality is that in africa you know kenya where we went on safari killing animals of any kind is illegal yeah there's no hunting allowed and as a result certain populations have become untenable and actually the number of certain species is declining in kenya because it's out of control whereas south africa they've tried to step in and have a little bit of regulation allowing a certain number of hunting the hunting permits as i said money from that goes back into the conservation of the animals all of this find a balance yeah find it about
Starting point is 00:13:23 so they're like keeping it level and it's helping the countries and all of that and he was like it's hard to argue one way or the other his policy this guy is like he won't kill an animal um unless he thinks it's it's something he would eat himself so he would never kill a leopard right a lion, but he'll kill wildebeest and impala. And I don't know. He was way more level-headed, and he brought me more to his side of the argument. I feel like I'm a kid at the local library, and it's the Thursday animal visit. Yeah, we're just sitting around.
Starting point is 00:13:57 Can you pull out a meerkat in a minute and just let it run around? I'm interested in what we're hearing. I'm giving you a lot of information, but I got off the plane two days ago, so this is all... You think you'll go back? Probably don't need... There are other places I would go before going to your second
Starting point is 00:14:17 trip to Africa. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe with kids someday. Once you go black, you never go back. Yeah. You know? You don't know. Maybe with kids someday. Once you go black, you never go back. Yeah. You know? He don't know. He don't know. Yeah, he don't know.
Starting point is 00:14:31 Didn't have the opportunity growing up. No, Maine. So France is diverse state in the country. Yeah, I think it's the, yeah, West Virginia has them beat. No, Maine is number one. Yeah, and we're second. That's right. We beat you guys.
Starting point is 00:14:43 Is this even weird for you? Yeah, you really won there. Yeah, and we're second. That's right. We beat you guys. Is this even weird for you? Yeah, you really won there. Yeah, congrats. I'm sure what's broken with your system. Congrats on the victory. Has it been weird? I feel like most of the people are new to you. Yeah, do they got you sitting upstairs?
Starting point is 00:15:04 No, sitting at the bar on i'm happy to sit at the bar like an intern like i heard you kind of meet vips today you're like you just got here as i was leaving like you too right like we we had more of a crossover oh you did okay everyone for the most part plus me and you had the this very tiny crossover yeah we met one time and then the the mond Monday I was coming to start the Friday, you know. You had like three months together. Is it that close? I was coming I think we're April. He was July?
Starting point is 00:15:31 Oh, I got hired, but I was coming up here. Yeah, okay. I was coming up here to start here in the office. Have you met Mincy? I'm not sure that I have. You'll know. So, fellas, how's it going today? That's what he sounds like. That's exactly what he sounds like. Who has given you the warmest welcome back?
Starting point is 00:15:49 Big Cat was really warm, which felt good. He give you a card? I think he's trying to convince me to come to that Chicago office. He's laying the groundwork, which feels good until, you know. It happens. You realize you'd have to join a whole bunch of new golf courses out there. That was my biggest concern as well. I have this whole infrastructure here of golf courses.
Starting point is 00:16:13 Your apartment might be too big. How was the wedding? Because I'm sure you had something different. It was surprisingly more predictable, I think, than you. Where was it it give us the give us the details i love this before we get into that i you asked if i if everyone's new no because a lot of you in this room have been very um kind to maintain a line of friendship to me in the intervening years i'm talking about the new hires.
Starting point is 00:16:45 It's mostly new people to you, probably. You just take a... Yeah, no, I appreciate it. Oh, yeah. I appreciate that you acknowledge that I was nice to you. I like being friends with you. We're friends. Yeah, we're boys.
Starting point is 00:16:56 I'm not saying we aren't. I'm not saying I'm new to you. Yeah, we... Like Mincy, Jersey Jerry, Woodruff. Some of those guys are new, yeah. But that's the majority of the content floor is people that were here when I was here. We've been over this stagnant for years. Sad day.
Starting point is 00:17:14 Was that Mincy again? No, that was Jerry. That was Jerry. God damn. Any questions for Frank? Two sides of the same coin. Frank, you know, what's going on? We're hitting.
Starting point is 00:17:29 Good question. The Mets are in free fall mode again. You mean Francis? Yeah, we got the NFL starting up. My survivor. Which is exciting. Dolphins are 1-0. Yeah, but my survivor pool ended in week one because.
Starting point is 00:17:43 So did mine, actually, Tennessee. Because the Broncos coach can't hack it. His name is Nathaniel Hackett. Oh, nice, nice. Well, at least things should be getting better for the Cornhuskers. They defrosted the football program this week. Hey-oh. So you're a Nebraska fan?
Starting point is 00:18:03 No. You wanted to get off the – He had the frost joke. They fired a coach named Frost. I don't follow sports. We got you, Francis. With such an esoteric eye as to pick up on these deeply veiled puns. When you're a Mets fan and you're used to pain, suffering, misery.
Starting point is 00:18:23 I know that. I know that. Yeah. I know that. That's a little more up front. Take Thursday! And of course, New Jersey Transit, that sucks as always. I was on the same goddamn train as you today, Frank. We waited for 10 minutes for that train.
Starting point is 00:18:38 Yeah, that train should have been there about 15 minutes before that. It was a 1041. We got on it at 1055. That's fine. It's not great, but it's fine. Yeah, but that happens every week. If you're going nowhere, take New Jersey Transit. I think your actual statement this morning was,
Starting point is 00:18:56 if you're not worried about being on time, take New Jersey Transit. And me and you are the very definition of not really being worried about being on time. We're coming to work at 11 o'clock in the morning. Yeah, well, that's true. We just all love working here so much that everything else feels like gravy, but I guess that's not the case with you. Yeah. Hey, let me ask you a question, right?
Starting point is 00:19:17 So everybody in success came up to me this morning. I got in early because I was excited. I thought maybe there was a chance Dave would come in, and I wanted him to see on my first day that I was here early. Late and early. Yeah. Plus, I'm still on fucking Africa time, so I've been up since before. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:34 You're on Africa time. Yeah. So. I thought so. Well, I'm laughing because. Your circadian rhythm is off. Zah, you can back me up. Over in Africa, they talk about Africa time as being very late.
Starting point is 00:19:52 They do that over in Africa. Yeah. It's the cultural norm. Are you trying to stay on Africa time? Now I don't even know which Africa time. You do know Kenyans and Zimbabweans Are two completely different people, right? No
Starting point is 00:20:09 It's not right You're mistaken You seem to subscribe to this Africa is not a country It is And people call it a continent And I think that that's holding them back. I believe in a pan-Africanism.
Starting point is 00:20:27 Ooh. Beautiful. Just gained a fan in me, Francis. Wow. Oh, that's looked highly upon. They want that. Is that? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:36 I'm just being racist. You just made it up. Yeah, you're right. No, but everyone came up to me and was like, oh, you're here early. You're going to see that nobody comes in until noon. Blah, blah, blah. You don't have to. And it's like, if you guys enjoy that, I wouldn't talk about it so much. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:57 Why are we drawing attention to the liberal time schedule? I don't know that we necessarily. We're night owls. Come on. Most sporting events, we're a Come on. Most sporting events, we're a sports company. Most sporting events happen at night.
Starting point is 00:21:09 We're talking about watching sports till 11, midnight. Of course, we're going to be at night. Motherfuckers. Who was here early this morning?
Starting point is 00:21:19 Did anyone come up to you really early? That was a cogent point. He just spit. At 9 o'clock, at 9 o'clock in the morning, there's nothing going on. We're sports guys.
Starting point is 00:21:30 This is a sports radio, sports blog. This isn't. And we're watching these games at night, and that's where we're night house. I think that's fair. I think that's fair. But there are definitely people that don't do sports stuff, right i think that you know let's not blow their cover yeah the main girl yeah yeah and where the hell are they today right someone answer me that i mean what are you gonna do at nine o'clock watch morning shows hello good morning good
Starting point is 00:21:56 morning everyone good morning how is your morning my morning is fine it's fine it's fine a school bus overturned killing five kids okay how's that fine oh good morning that's what the sun just pleasant today the weather day it's bright and sunny night over killing five kids how's that fine good morning it's pleasant today the weather today it's bright and sunny yes it is good morning I just riff off that good morning
Starting point is 00:22:10 there's no room there's no room we're going to do some yes ands with that perhaps I mean morning shows I mean
Starting point is 00:22:22 that is you guys notice it's a nicer paper today? It is a nicer paper. Oh, my God, yeah. No, no, no, this isn't paper. Pulled out all the stops for Francis' first day. Wait a minute, that's a card?
Starting point is 00:22:31 No, it's a sticker. What? What the fuck? That's all we got for paper? That's all we have for paper. This is the best thing. That's great. I mean, why not take paper that's already had printing on it and do it on the back of it?
Starting point is 00:22:47 Well, that would be cheap, Frank. We waste money a lot. Francis. No, no, no, no, no. That's not cheap. That's called conserving resources. I hadn't seen Francis since it was before you had gotten let go that you asked me to be on a comedy show with you, a stand-up show over in Jersey.
Starting point is 00:23:07 I live right down the street from it, by the way. No way. But Bananas Comedy Club. And I hadn't done stand-up in forever. And you were doing me a solid. It was like the nicest thing. And then you got let go. And I was like, well, I still have got to do the show.
Starting point is 00:23:19 I remember when you came to me with this conundrum. I was like, because people were like, I said I was going to do it. And I feel like you were doing me a favor. And so I wanted to do with this conundrum i was like i because p like you know people were like i still i said i was going to do it and i feel like you were doing me a favor and so i wanted to do it the only problem was i suck at stand-up and i like had nothing lined up so we go and there's a little backstory this rewind a year and a half before i was freshly divorced living down in delco i go to a comedy show down there one night, and there's this one comedian who's very funny, and afterwards a bunch of us are at the bar,
Starting point is 00:23:51 and we're talking. I'd never heard the term chuckle fucker before. Wait, is that groupies for comedians? Yes. I hit it off with this guy. Oh, no. I was fresh. I was like fucking a lot. I was like, fucking a lot.
Starting point is 00:24:07 I was being real wacky with it. Is that your way of flipping it? I was being a whore. He was fucking wacky. Basically, you don't know who the father of your child is. Yeah, exactly. So I, long story short, I ended up hooking up with this comedian. And afterwards, he like- Why are you looking at me?
Starting point is 00:24:23 Is this going to be you? This is pre-Francis. I didn't even know Francis yet yet i didn't work at barstool yet and so time goes on the guy had like kept trying to talk to me afterwards like nice nothing weird or creepy or crazy or anything but like i just ghosted him because i was not in that like space i was like nope sorry that was you're being wacky every now and then he would reach out and blah blah but i just never answered i like always ghosted him and then i moved to new york and i started doing stand-up and like going to all the open mics and i would see if he was on one like our opening for one i'm like i can't go to that one because like like he was a bigger comic i was like i don't want to run into this guy so francis invites me to
Starting point is 00:24:57 do this show and it's just francis me and he's like and there's one other comic coming to open up for you so you open up for me. You know exactly who this is. I didn't know this about Kate but quick interlude. You told me the story as we were pulling into what am I doing wrong here? You can't be seen.
Starting point is 00:25:17 You told me the story as we were pulling into the event. And lo and behold the curtain opens and it's that guy. That's good. You told me the story as we were pulling into the event. Yes. And lo and behold, the curtain opens and it's that guy. And I was already so nervous. And I was sitting there trying to write jokes on my head. I hadn't done it in so long.
Starting point is 00:25:38 I was already like, Francis did this nice thing for me. I'm going to bomb. And now I banged that guy and then ghosted him who's about to open for me like and it should be like i should be opening for him he's way better and then i got on stage and i did open for him yes um but he he like opened for me and then the first thing i did when i got on stage i like word vomited i was like i like told the whole story to the crowd who just sat there like. Wait, what? I know.
Starting point is 00:26:06 Oh, Kate. Tell the story to the crowd. Kate is doing the thing that comedians do. And the truth is that everyone fucking loved it. Yeah. Everyone was so thrilled. I mean, you were like that too, but. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:26:22 I'm so red. You're getting embarrassed now. I know. I'm like bright red. I'm dying. I suppose it's like You're getting embarrassed now. I know. I'm like bright red. I'm dying. Was this like four years ago? Because, yes, this was a long time ago. But I felt so bad, and I haven't seen you since then.
Starting point is 00:26:32 I was like, oh, my God, Francis did this nice thing, and I like bombed it. I blew it and whatever. So it's nice to see you again. That's what I'm trying to say. You did not bomb. I remember distinctly. It's impossible for a woman who was in the military to go up and do jokes about her tour of duty and bomb. True.
Starting point is 00:26:50 That's true. Which isn't to take anything away. Your jokes are fantastic. But that's an anti-patriotic crowd if they're silent and booing that set. You know what I mean? True. Anyways, thanks for having me that time. That was polite.
Starting point is 00:27:06 Thanks for doing it. You're giving me too much credit. You did me a favor, too. Yeah. But I was like, what were the odds to run into that guy again? Probably pretty high. Yeah, in his woolly comedy circuit.
Starting point is 00:27:17 That's true. Did you watch his Netflix special? I think he might have one now. Oh, Kate. No. No chance. He, no chance. He's still terrible. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:27:31 No, he definitely doesn't. You were in a fucking hotel. You're trying to say, yeah, I think he might have one. And he was hosting. I think he might. In the lobby of a hotel off the Jersey Turnpike. It's like a Howard Johnson. And the sign says bananas
Starting point is 00:27:45 and I have to drive by it like five times a day and I'm always like, oh yeah. Speaking of comedy in New Jersey. There we go. I found out there's
Starting point is 00:27:53 a hot dog place. It is a good. Called Angelo's in Hasbro Heights and they apparently have Tuesday night open mic night. Ooh. And you go there,
Starting point is 00:28:03 you buy hot dogs and you can do a stand up comedy. Yeah. Might have to check it Ooh. And you go to, you buy hot dogs and you can do a stand-up comedy. Yeah. I might have to check it out. Have you ever done it or considered it, Frank? I got to check it out. Yeah, I think I'm going to try it out.
Starting point is 00:28:13 All right. Maybe one of my, I'll do a review and a stand-up act. Yeah. Nice. Nice. Combine the two. Mm-hmm. I'm sure you, what would you, would you tell stories or just jokes, one-headers?
Starting point is 00:28:26 Well, I could go out there and do my normal jokes you know like did you hear Nebraska defrosted their football program yeah New Jersey Tranted Jokes I was going to go with Frank but it turns out I banged the chef so I'm not able to go
Starting point is 00:28:42 hot dog chef Kate you whore. There's a lot of places Kate can't go. What happens when they answer the defrosted question? The crowd. Yeah. Why? They laugh.
Starting point is 00:28:59 That's what happens. That's how they would answer. Yes, no. All right, shit. What do y'all want to talk about? Y'all want to go ahead and spin the wheel? We're about halfway through.
Starting point is 00:29:06 We can spin the wheel now. I guess last night we were on stage. Wait, the upfronts. For the upfronts. And I don't know. The act segment felt like it wasn't that great.
Starting point is 00:29:16 But anyway, KB got wet. Yeah. Yeah, that was necessary. We definitely needed to do that. Yeah, we had about, had about three minutes on stage. It was fine. It was fine. I watched you guys on Whatnot.
Starting point is 00:29:30 I watched the live. It's great. Three minutes? I was pumped. We got to watch, too, from seven rows back. You know what kind of stuff? By the exit door. There were extra chairs.
Starting point is 00:29:41 There were chairs up there. I don't know why we didn't plan for that. No, I think the aesthetic was better having a little little colquinated three chairs. There were chairs up there. I don't know why we didn't plan for that. No, I think the aesthetic was better having Compton's little cocknated three chairs. Yeah. We had Compton standing off to the side holding the auction item. That was very awkward. We have this very talented podcaster, NFL player,
Starting point is 00:29:57 just standing over there trying to hold up the whatnot. We also have other people on the show that were in the crowd. That's true. That's true. I can't wait for Francis to start berating people, insulting people. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of fresh. When's the first Borelli blog dropping?
Starting point is 00:30:15 Ooh. You know? He's married now. I don't want to just go right back to my well of tricks. Yeah. I think it's got to come naturally. Do you have new tricks? Yeah, I'm going to get some new tricks going.
Starting point is 00:30:32 But man, I will say he's getting a little I guess I would say a little too straight for his britches. Yeah, he has been. I think he's really trying to rub how straight he is in my face. And he wears these long pants to golf.
Starting point is 00:30:48 He wears these white pants. So I know. Yeah. Right. I know what's there. But, yeah, he then posts, like, an engagement photo. He alternates. Look at my wife or whatever.
Starting point is 00:31:03 And I'm like, get the fuck out of here. What are you talking about, Frankie? So, we'll see. He'll get it. Nick Riggs is in the building today too.
Starting point is 00:31:13 Met him yesterday. Yeah. That's like the 10th time you've met him? I meet him all the time. It always feels like a meeting. People always,
Starting point is 00:31:20 yeah. But he, it's always the first time for him. Yeah, he never remembers. It's like 51st dates. Much like it. But it's always the first time for him. Yeah, he never remembers. It's like 51st State. Much like it.
Starting point is 00:31:30 He has dementia. What do you call that? Amnesia, yeah. Amnesia. Hitting the head with a golf ball. It looks like that. All right, spin the wheel. Actually, that's not TJ back there.
Starting point is 00:31:47 Who is that back there? That's Tech Guy Andrew. I didn't know Tech Guy Andrew had an Instagram until I got a DM this morning that called me a fat bitch. Tech. Fuck Tech. Tech, what the fuck? All right.
Starting point is 00:32:06 I guess just go ahead and spin it, although we're not very dry on this meal. It is looking real wet on that meal. Hot a lot of red. Less dry than none. If Francis has to, if it lands on one thing. Wow. Fasten. No.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Starting now. No. 20 minutes to eat. No. We have 20 minutes to eat. We have 20 minutes to eat. We have a closed show to eat. I haven't eaten today.
Starting point is 00:32:23 I haven't eaten today either. Time out. Time out. Time out. It would be like a 36-hour podcast. No, because Big Cat and Roan have to do it. Yeah. Big Cat and Roan have to do it. Let's call them.
Starting point is 00:32:31 Oh, my God. Oh, aren't they in Vegas? Jack McCarthy booked them a steakhouse dinner, private room with TVs in Vegas tonight. Yeah, I think it has to start now. I think it has to start after this at 2. I'm calling Roan right now. People are going to be pissed if we don't do it now. I feel like that was the thing.
Starting point is 00:32:43 What is Roan? I'm going to order food. We have a show tomorrow. They're on a plane. Does anybody want food? We have to order food, and then it lasts it now. I feel like that was the thing. I'm going to have a show tomorrow. Does anybody want food? We have to order food. Let's order a nice meal. This is real? Should we get Lomos?
Starting point is 00:32:51 Oh my God, it's in Lomos? I'm going to my dad's birthday dinner tonight. No. Broth doesn't count, Nick. I'm getting broth. No, I think it doesn't count. It breaks fast. I'm getting black coffee. Yeah. We can order food now. Oh, no. I think it doesn't count. Breaks fast? Yeah. I'm getting black coffee.
Starting point is 00:33:05 Yeah. We can order food now. Eat it. Oh, no. I think we could eat until 2.30. It starts when the episode ends. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:33:12 All right. All right. I'm ordering me a Lomo Sauté. Oh, we should do a four-hour episode and just... Oh, fuck. Avant food. You have to do this as well. Just a four-hour episode now.
Starting point is 00:33:18 Yeah. What happened here? What is... Yeah, we don't do... We don't talk or do comedy. We have a stupid wheel that determines our fucking life now. And I didn't even get to read all the other things. We have 24-hour fast, which is on there.
Starting point is 00:33:32 Shiny bald is a punishment. Job search is something Big Cat came up with. You have to go. You have to go get another job. You have to go get another job. Wet is just wet. You have to go to the shower and get wet. Is this a talk show when you work, too?
Starting point is 00:33:43 Yeah, it's weird. The yak wasn't a thing yet. I think it when you work, too? Yeah, it's weird. The Yak wasn't a thing yet. I think it was. Yeah, huh? Oh, maybe it was. It was a Sirius XM radio show. Yes. Yeah, it was.
Starting point is 00:33:53 It was mostly sports, right? Yeah. Sports. CK, Roan. Yeah. Steve and Shay. Karabas. Karabas, yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:01 Censor that, censor that, censor that. Kyle was already on it about that time. I was on the Sirius for like two years. So it's like that, but not and wet? It's wet, yeah. Censor that, censor that, censor that. When Kyle was already on it about that time. I was on the Sirius for like two years. So it's like that, but not and wet? It's wet, yeah. And now we can't eat for- Anybody want an empanada? Yes, please.
Starting point is 00:34:14 I'll Venmo you. That's what you guys are getting for the last- Spicy chicken? Yes, please. You want me to order Lomo's? One or two? One. Do one, because I also have half a chicken salad sandwich.
Starting point is 00:34:24 My brain's computing this. You know what we should do right before milkshakes are really filling? What are they? We should do like last minute milkshakes. Yeah, Brandon, grab milkshakes on whatever you're ordering. Yeah, get like six chocolate milkshakes. Should each of us order something for everyone so we just try a bunch of things? Yes.
Starting point is 00:34:38 We'll do a mukbang. You want to go big? I want to do a mukbang. Let's do a mukbang. That was the downfall of Nikado Avocado. Yeah, what the hell Frank what's your strategy for the fast Frank are you not going to eat
Starting point is 00:34:49 Well Before I came on I did have some Nice Hamburger from the Skylight Diner Nearby local diner You can't eat again for 24 hours What that's just eating? Yes.
Starting point is 00:35:08 Opposed to what? You can't chew. No chewing. You can have soup. Do you have another method? What if you blend all the food and drink it? I won't allow it, but
Starting point is 00:35:23 boys in the booth, you can't eat. Andrew. TGA. Chico Tecnico. Who's the fat bitch now, Andrew? Well,
Starting point is 00:35:33 the funny thing is, the funny thing is, actually, I have to have a, like my, I get like quarterly or bi-annual blood test,
Starting point is 00:35:45 and that's scheduled tomorrow. So you already had to do this? I pretty much had to fast anyway. We all know. We all know. What do you mean pretty much had to fast? Was your plan to fast? Yeah, I wouldn't have been able to eat anything after like...
Starting point is 00:36:02 Oh. What the fuck? Yeah, what? Which fits nicely into your day. Wait, so did anyone call Big Tatter? We're just doing this in solidarity with Tank? Wait, wait, wait. Time, time, time, time, time, time.
Starting point is 00:36:15 You don't even have a show tomorrow. Let me stop you guys here. Yes, yes, yes. We might not be able to do it today. We don't have a show tomorrow to do anything with this. Oh, you're right. Spend $70 on empanadas. I'm saying, but we might have to
Starting point is 00:36:25 You're right. You're right. Yeah, we have to break it on air. Right, so we might have to do it Monday to Tuesday. I wanted to break it at Boozy Brunch with my crew. Right, that would have been great. I think they're on a plane.
Starting point is 00:36:40 You'd have been tanked. Are we really doing Boozy Brunch for us? I would really like to. Yeah, we're going to do it. We have to do something at 11 tomorrow. We have a meeting at 11, so right after. Is that just lunch? I guess. Why don't you have a show tomorrow?
Starting point is 00:36:56 They're doing it live from Vegas. Roan and Big Cat. Oh, cool. Why are they in Vegas? I'm glad you asked. Speaking of DAZN, hold on. They're on a plane I think they don't leave until 2 though
Starting point is 00:37:12 make sure your tray tables are in their upright position because it's fight season on DAZN pay per view as Canelo Alvarez puts his WBA WBC WBO IBF on the ring That happens on planes. T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas on Saturday, September 17th. Sign up now and watch Canelo vs. GGG on September 17th and buy the fight exclusively on DAZN.com. Stream the Canelo vs. GGG three-fight live this Saturday, September 17th, only on DAZN pay-per-view. Download the DAZN app or visit www.dazon.com.
Starting point is 00:37:59 That's more than that. Aren't we also going to be doing the special airing of that too with the cat? Big cat. And that's why they're there. They're going to be calling it live. So you'll be able to hear them live as it's happening. It's also a delight. That's even better than the fight itself.
Starting point is 00:38:16 Very entertaining. Okay. I am the most beloved person in this company, both by the fans and by the people. Wait. How did you decide? I got to make an executive decision. We've got to put this off until we can all do it. Agreed.
Starting point is 00:38:28 So we've got to put it off until Monday. Because we can't break the fast on the air because we don't have a show tomorrow. Why is T.J. thumbs down? You can still do it with us. All right, good. I need to lose weight. T.J., you can pass whenever you want to fast. I'll still Venmo you for the banana.
Starting point is 00:38:47 Functionally, we don't have a mechanism to actually pull this off. Big Cat said let's do it Monday. Yeah. There we go. No, as an executive decision, I said let's do it Monday. This is the yak with Big Cat. You said it right after he said it. Can we find someone to come in and do blood work to prove we did the fast next week?
Starting point is 00:39:02 We have to have proof because the last time we did a 24-hour fast, I left here in eight. Really? I cheated too. What? We were together. Doesn't sound like any of it matters. Right. Yeah. You are right.
Starting point is 00:39:19 What's the bald thing? Do people get their heads shaved? Are you serious? We don't have fun. It's a miserable experience. What's the bald thing? Do people get their heads shaved? Yeah, shiny bald. Are you serious? We don't have fun. It's a miserable experience. We just haze out every single day. Because whoever gets the punishment gets to pick the next one,
Starting point is 00:39:35 so the worse the punishment is, the more rage they have in their heart. So like Roan has to get acrylic nails for a week, so he is the one who picked bald for the next person. But he's immune. Then he's immune for bald. I had a lunch at Le Bernardin on there. What? There's good stuff. You know about Le Bernardin?
Starting point is 00:39:50 Well, does one person have to pay for it? No, you have to pay for yourself. It's Big Cat, Nate, and Che. Wait, those three? Yeah. It's got to be a punishment of some sort. Why? How about we...
Starting point is 00:40:04 It's a nice lunch. Since we can't do the fast, we have different people in here, everyone has to go get wet. Now, wait. Are you willing to get wet? Yeah. What are you saying? Are you willing to get wet? Oh, he's going.
Starting point is 00:40:23 Oh. No, no, no, no, no. I like this. I kind of love it. I kind of love it. I don't want to do it. I'm not following suit. Is it wet from head to toe?
Starting point is 00:40:31 Oh, yeah. Kyle had to get wet at the up front. Oh, you shower. Can I tell you why? No offense to you, Frank. Love you. I don't want your shoes to get wet in case Frank Shuey ever goes on the wheel. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:40:43 Yeah, that's also one that... Yeah, so, Francis, whenever you want to fill in on the show, you can Oh my God. Yeah, that's also one that... Yeah, so Frances, whenever you want to fill in on the show, you can take my seat. Wow, this is tough. Some of these punishments are truly sadistic.
Starting point is 00:40:53 Yeah. No, it's really fucking tough. Hanging wedgie was one. Oh my God. Jay had to do a hanging wedgie, yeah. Rone had a cast on for a week. I think Jay got a tattoo. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:01 Jay has a tattoo. The cheat on your partner one was tough. Actually, that's why... That's a lot of rips. I want to be called Scorpion the show because uh chase tattoo he has a tattoo he hasn't it's the yak tattoo oh my god it's grammatically incorrect i would like to change yeah so i think if we change the name of the show he has a meaningless tattoo why is that
Starting point is 00:41:19 grammatically incorrect he doesn't have doesn't have an apostrophe oh i see yeah so francis what is your current Barstool plan? How often will you be in the office? What will you be doing? That's like a job interview. I would like to know, though. I'm going to try to just, as my goal from now until the end of this year, as I put it, to become a zero emission employee. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:47 I create enough sponsored content or have enough podcast reads to net my salary to zero. All right, so you're going to do your podcast that you've been doing. Blogging. Yep. Anything else? I have a lot of ideas,
Starting point is 00:42:02 but I have to run them by the legal team first. We have an offer for Puma swipe-ups. We were wondering if you'd throw that up on your Instagram. Absolutely, I will. I'll do anything. I have no dignity. Can you do a song about Sargento cheese for us? Sure.
Starting point is 00:42:19 All right. Fuck someone. I don't care. Sargento. It's on me, boys. How could you have known that? The cheese for people with taste. The cheese that is so great.
Starting point is 00:42:39 Sargento is the cheese for The two Francis's have a lot in common. I totally do. Sargento is the cheese you can buy in your supermarket. It's great. Sargento. Buy it now. Sargento for people who are sick in the Wait till you hear the second verse.
Starting point is 00:43:02 What if I did a segment called Hanky Panky with Frankie where I fuck him? I like that. I want POV though. I've always wanted to be you and I've always wanted to fuck Frankie. I'm going to top him so hard. Are you going with that Frankie? No, no. Borelli. I think he was saying Frank.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Oh. Jeez. It's sponsored by Roman Swipes so you've got to fuck him for a long time a long time yeah yeah clean them out um yeah no i i think uh i'm i have a couple ideas i want to get involved in some sports gambling content hell yeah uh because with pen gaming purchasing the remainder of barstool in february i want to give myself as much job security as possible. And I think that anybody who isn't doing sports gambling content
Starting point is 00:43:52 is just signing their own exit from the company. Pretty stupid. Pretty much all of us except Brandon. Stupid idea. Nikki T's at the streams. Down hella units. I was trying to come up with this with another guy that works here, Stupid idea. Ah, Nicky T's at the streams. Down hella units. I've actually started betting last week. I was trying to come up with this.
Starting point is 00:44:07 I just made the full-time switch. With another guy that works here. I was going to call it the mush-off. And since I suck at my picks and he sucks at his picks, you could choose which one you want to fade. Yeah. You should attach yourself to Mark. Sure.
Starting point is 00:44:21 That'd go well. Good idea, Frank. Yeah, my last idea is probably to whoever Hank dates next, hook up with her, and then dance my way on out of here. I've been following. I've been following along. Oh, shit. This is good. You'll be very excited. Oh, shit. This is good.
Starting point is 00:44:45 You'll be very excited. I'm making some picks. Short of those, you're going to see. If you pick them, you're going to fail. Yeah. If you go against me, you're going to win. David Dan on the call. I'll be back.
Starting point is 00:45:02 Come fade away. Caleb will be there. Come fade away. Football game on tonight. Come fade away. Caleb will be there. Come fade away. Is there a football game on tonight? Come fade away. Our Chiefs. He's winning that. Oh, it's a good game.
Starting point is 00:45:09 Let's go after that. Well, the Chargers are plus four. Okay. Chiefs. Chiefs minus four. Take the over. Big day for Patrick Mahomes. Oh, they need to know it's minus four if you're giving them the over.
Starting point is 00:45:21 Also, why is it a big day for Patrick Mahomes? Because he's going to pass for over 300 yards. Oh, I thought you meant it was a big moment in his life. He's going to pass Mahomes over 300 yards, three touchdowns, Chiefs win by 10, and take the over. Is this crazy-ass brother still on TikTok and doing that shit? I don't know. Did they pull that back?
Starting point is 00:45:41 Crazy. Crazy-ass. Yeah, he is. You know, every time Jackson Mahomes shows up, Patrick Mahomes goes terrible. I'll tell you one thing about Mahomes, though. I went to Mets Old Timers Day a couple of weeks ago, and their father was there. Pat Mahomes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:45:59 The relief pitcher from the 90s. Yep. Well, he played for the Mets in 99. I thought he was more of a Philly. No, he played for the Mets in 99. He went 8-0 for the Mets in 99. I thought he was more of a Philly. No, he played for the Mets in 90. He went 8-0 for the Mets in 1999. Wasn't he a Philly as well? No, a Pirate. I think he was a Philly too.
Starting point is 00:46:11 He played a lot of places. He played for a lot of teams. Yeah. His best season, though, was with the Mets in 1999. And you remember the Bobby Valentine mustache game? Uh-huh. He was the pitcher on the mound when it happened. Recapping yesterday's show, Rold Bradstock,
Starting point is 00:46:25 what's an inspirational cheat you could realistically do? I spent $75 on Lomo Saltado. Yep. You could still eat it. Yeah, we could, actually. It's going to be awesome. You got him right on. What's an inspirational cheat, guys?
Starting point is 00:46:37 Inspirational cheat. What was that? We found this Olympian, a Javelin Olympian, who's also an artist, yesterday, named Rolled Bradstock. And he does what he calls inspirational cheats, where he'll take an enormous amount of weight. An enormous amount. And you're like, oh shit, he's about to lift it. But guess what?
Starting point is 00:46:54 He's got stoppers, so he only does about an inch. So he calls that inspirational cheats. Mentally, he thinks he's... Mentally, you're like crushing the weight, but you're not really. So he'll like leg press like 600 pounds that's just bullshit 200 reps an inspirational cheat
Starting point is 00:47:08 I'll just post a picture of it isn't that what Lance Armstrong did at the Tour de France why is it inspirational because it looks sick it looks cool he's old and British
Starting point is 00:47:16 you're seeing yourself move in it no he's American but you're British as hell it's only an all of his garb is just the
Starting point is 00:47:22 the union jack really I thought a lot of it is not. If you pull up rolled Bradstock's Instagram. Firing people to be like, holy shit, that guy's benching 10,000 pounds. That's a British name. Oh. You can't tell that it's-
Starting point is 00:47:35 England. Sorry. His legs aren't even pressing it. When you go further back into the feed, you can find some videos and you're like, oh, he's done actually. He calls it hashtag inspirational cheats. So what is an inspirational cheat, Stephen Che was asking. I think we have, I think the only inspirational cheat is what he's
Starting point is 00:47:52 doing. Right. My inspirational cheat is telling jokes to Mike Greer. Yeah, that is true. I know it's a Greer. It's tough in the group chat when you only get the laugh from Greer. That's really bad. You only get the Greer. That's really bad. You know it sucks. That's a myth.
Starting point is 00:48:09 I used to, in high school, for showers, before I went into them, I'd go into the bathroom stall and sort of excite myself enough. I'm glad other people were doing that. First time I did it, I went too much and I just walked in there. It's a risky game because you can't, it's a risky game. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:27 Because you can't walk in with a boner. No. I feel like as soon as you hit the water, it's shriveling up. It never worked. Hot water, I'm pumping up. Really? I get... Your dick shrivels in hot water? It's tiny.
Starting point is 00:48:40 Oh. Uh-oh. Is your cock made of spinach? I was in the pool. I was in the pool. I was in the pool. Is your cock made of spinach? I was in the pool! I was in the pool! Spinach dick. I mean, anytime I'm in the shower. Old spinach dick over here.
Starting point is 00:48:59 Not my shit. I've been taking cold showers as of late, though. Good for you. Chef Donnie only does cold showers. But in what way is that good for you? Circulation, I think. They say it resets your brain. Makes you up.
Starting point is 00:49:14 That's not why I'm doing it. I don't know. They say if you're super depressed, go dunk your head in a big bowl of ice cold water. Keep it there. Feel better. Is that what you did when we gave you a swirly? No, no. I just got poop in my we gave you the swirly? No, no.
Starting point is 00:49:25 I just got poop in my nose. You got swirly from the wheel. Steven Che's eye. Pink. Is it worse now? It was closed yesterday. Yeah. Couldn't even open it.
Starting point is 00:49:35 Yeah. It's gone. Is it gone? Yeah, it just healed over. The eye healed. It absorbed itself. All right. What else?
Starting point is 00:49:44 Constipated asshole. What else do you guys want to talk about? Francis? Something to the table. Well, I have a question. Yep. So I've seen clips sometimes when people come in here and they stumble in here and you guys see them walking in. You call them in and then you have them on.
Starting point is 00:50:01 And then a lot of the times it doesn't go well. Sure. Yeah. It never does. Why? Especially comedians. Yeah, what's that about? What happens there?
Starting point is 00:50:09 I think... I was expecting you guys to be really mean to me and then I was rehearsing in my head that I was just going to say, I was going to recite, I'm just happy to be back here. And then you guys would look terrible because... We're really only mean to the unsuspecting though.
Starting point is 00:50:24 That's part of why we're... I don't think it's mean. I think it's just such a niche show, and they don't understand what's happening when they come in. It's not like a typical podcast. And a lot of guests on podcasts probably think it's an interview-based or something like that. Yeah, or that people will be friendly.
Starting point is 00:50:39 Yeah. The dynamic, it's like eight people. Eight on one. Probably come across as condescending. Yeah. I watched Chris DiStefano. He came in here. You guys all butted heads with him.
Starting point is 00:50:49 Yeah, didn't like us. He's a pretty universally liked person. By who? He's great. I don't know. There's a lot of people, a lot of women, I think, like him. Yeah. But Andrew Schultz did well.
Starting point is 00:51:01 Yeah, he was great. That was cool. Yeah, he's good. He said he liked the cut of my jib. Tried to fight Shane Gillis. Shane Gillis, yeah. Steve Che, I thought that was a strange thing. It was.
Starting point is 00:51:10 It was a little antagonistic. We had Tom Segura watch them play basketball. Yeah, he enjoyed it. That was a treat to him. Yeah, that was tough. Yeah, he really enjoyed that. It was probably surreal for him. Forced him to watch them play?
Starting point is 00:51:20 It was a force. Big Cat's favorite video. And he was like, hey, Tom, watch eight people who you don't know play basketball. Orly. He loved it. He loved it. Who have we gotten along with? Andrew Schultz, I think, might have been the only one.
Starting point is 00:51:35 Yeah. Stav was great. He's his wife as always. I'm never here for those. Stav was good. Zion Long came on a long time ago for like- Oh, yeah. He was very funny.
Starting point is 00:51:46 Case race. Could I do it He was very funny. Case Race. Could I do it with you guys sometime? You should. It doesn't have to be the next time, but I think that'd be really fun. I'd be honored to do that with you guys. I would like that a lot. You definitely could. I don't think you'd be good.
Starting point is 00:51:56 I would like it as well. I don't think I'd be good. I don't think I'd be bad, though. No. It's 24, and you've got to get to 12 if you're pulling your weight. Right. I don't think I could do 12. It happened pulling your weight. Right. And, I mean. I don't think I could do 12.
Starting point is 00:52:08 Happened in an hour last time. Oh, jeez. I had 11. You guys had to pace yourself better. That's what ruined the show. Well, no. It was Shane that was setting the pace. He was the pacer. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:15 Well, it was just insane. Like, it was like you guys were, like, about to win. Yeah. And then all of a sudden they have, like, six left and Shane just. Compton had to have one more and then Shane. One more and then all of a sudden they have like six left and Shane just had to have one more and then Shane's one more. Yeah. I'm going to come on anus too.
Starting point is 00:52:30 Yeah. I'm so happy to just do anything that people want me to do. Unless they're people who don't really make anything for the company. Good. I don't want to be, you know, I'm not going to agree to do stuff to help people who aren't good. Yeah. I'm not want to be, you know, I'm not going to agree to do stuff to help people who aren't good.
Starting point is 00:52:46 Yeah. I'm not going to waste my time. But you could make it good. But then I would just do it alone. Yeah. True. That is true. Dude, if you get asked on a podcast you don't want to be on, you should just do it solo.
Starting point is 00:53:00 Yeah. Their show is solo. They're going to do it way better. That'd be the most evil thing. But I like that idea. Yeah yeah no i won't but i love the idea i'm not gonna be helping people no no you know it has to it has to be helpful to me give and take give an example of one you wouldn't do yeah i'm just thinking i see a lot of these young people here new hires i watch what they do and i'm like what this is what i wanted what the fuck is that you know how do they how'd they allow why'd they waste a producer's time on those people you know what i mean hell yeah drop some names oh yeah let's get gas in here let's get you guys
Starting point is 00:53:40 can riff together yeah i don't know i didn't even bother to learn their names because I figured they'll be gone soon. These people, these bums. It's Nick and KB. This is what I mean. Brandon Walker, right? I'm kind of being a jerk. Everyone said, you're not very nice. I said, I thought Brandon Walker was the nicest guy.
Starting point is 00:54:03 You're not jumping lot you're not um jumping into the mud here with me which makes me think you are a nice guy i know i have i am in a position where i have to hold back there's there's some podcasts here that you know with some new people some old people that kind of fit the bill of what you're saying but i just can't really say anything yeah all right well as long as you agree you had a very successful one that was canceled i had a youtube show with 42 000 subscribers that was averaging over 100,000 views, and it got canceled. It was a milli. It didn't get fucking canceled.
Starting point is 00:54:32 Man, those are good numbers. Damn good. I enjoyed it. Let that be a lesson to you. Yeah, if I had those kind of numbers, I probably wouldn't have come back to work here. Need any tea? Oh, God. Oh, man. Flooding in the mud. What'd he say? need any tea oh god oh man what do you say does he need any tea oh jesus wow that was funny yeah i i i want to help uh i want to help people i I guess. Big Cat always helped me.
Starting point is 00:55:07 Back when I was here, if you asked him to do something, he would do it. Who's this in all pink? Sorry, I'm not trying to be rude. There's got to be a famous one. Wait, right behind you, Francis. Who is that? I think that might be Paige Spirinac. It's not Paige Spirinac.
Starting point is 00:55:21 Yeah, it is. And it's Hannah Burner. Oh. Paul Berzy. No, Hannah Burner. And Paige Spirinac. Which one's Paige Spirinac. Yeah, it is. And it's Hannah Burner. Oh. Paul Verzi. No Hannah Burner. And Paige Spirinac. Which one's Paige Spirinac? She was in pink.
Starting point is 00:55:31 That was Paul Verzi. I thought she was a blonde. Was it not? That guy works here. That was Aria. It's not Paige Spirinac. You know what? It looks exactly like him.
Starting point is 00:55:40 It was just a bald guy. Sure. I thought it was him. Yeah. just a bald guy. Sure. I thought it was him. Yeah, that's too funny. Cool. Yeah. We can go as long as y'all want. I gotta do the rundown today, but...
Starting point is 00:55:55 I actually have to do the ad for the rundown, and that's it. You have to do the rundown? The ad for the rundown? When do we start doing that? Yeah, I got some other content I gotta get ready to do. Oh, wow. We don't have to leave now. I start doing that? Yeah, I got some other content I gotta get ready to do. Oh, wow. Okay. We don't have to leave now. I was just saying. Yeah, they asked me to go on and just read the ad for it.
Starting point is 00:56:11 He or Kyle. I can read. Alright, we'll have you do it then. Yeah, you've never been on the rundown really. You should just do the ads. I like doing ads. I like to do a video with you, Francis. Oh, yeah. Travel somewhere? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:27 Seriously. I'm down. Are you guys going to keep doing Rediscovering America? Go next week. Where are you off to? New Orleans. Wow. That's cool.
Starting point is 00:56:35 You got to hit Eastern Idaho one of these days. Oh, yeah. I'll tell you something. I spent a week in China with Donnie. Yeah. It's wild. Traveling with him. He was bred for it.
Starting point is 00:56:46 He is. For what he does, yeah. You can be with him and he doesn't even know you're there. Yes. Finally, somebody gets it. Incredible, Paul. For a week. He doesn't have a clue you're there.
Starting point is 00:56:57 It's all content first. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's awesome to watch. When I go on these road trips, these long road trips with Coach Duggs, and Coach Duggs, by the end of them, wants to kill me. And himself, yeah. It's awesome to watch. When I go on these road trips, these long road trips with Coach Duggs, and Coach Duggs by the end of them wants to kill me. And himself. You know, I'm sitting in a car,
Starting point is 00:57:13 and he's getting tired of me listening to the Yacht Rock, the 70s and 80s channels. That's what you listen to on the long trips? Really? Bertie Higgins. I would not have nailed that one. Great guy. No, he's not.
Starting point is 00:57:25 We had him in a video. Oh, yeah, that's right. Not a great guy. So I know he's getting tired of music, so I said, okay, I'll put on something different. So I put on the Audible book. I'm Keith Hernandez. I hate to see it. I'll be damned.
Starting point is 00:57:39 Edible just kicked in. I'll be damned. Frank's high. And the first thing is, I'm Keito Dennis, and I love baseball. Oh, man. And it's like, no, no, no, no. I'm going to try to score off the bridge. If he's driving, why doesn't he get to pick the music?
Starting point is 00:58:05 Yeah. God damn. to pick the music? Yeah. God damn. How's the yak? Rending it? We're wrapping it up? No, we don't have to. I got to go do the rundown too, but y'all keep going. We got to go do it with Tommy and Joey.
Starting point is 00:58:19 Come ask them. The next tank door is A. All right. Well, Frank's done. We'll probably hang out a little bit longer, if you're good Francis you want to stick around Francis you want to sit in this chair yeah no
Starting point is 00:58:30 I wouldn't alright so I'm still taking my malaria medicine though oh yeah you're supposed to take it for a week after you get home. And it gives you very strange dreams. Really?
Starting point is 00:58:50 It's called malaprone. Such as? Vivid or just weird? Conceptually strange is what I've experienced. People sleepwalk on it and stuff. People do some crazy shit. It's a strange side effect. You're dreaming like memento or something or what?
Starting point is 00:59:04 I've just had dreams that were very inception-y, kind of world-building. I don't know. For sure, especially when you're in a foreign country and you're waking up and you don't really know where you are either way. Then I also had to get the yellow fever. I had to get the typhoid. I got hep A. And then you take over.
Starting point is 00:59:24 Man, I don't know why I'm telling you guys this. Oh, no, no. No, I'm in time. This is nice, yeah. I just wanted to change the subject. Yeah. Continue. I don't know what happened.
Starting point is 00:59:34 Come on with your vaccine. Something happened neurologically. I think something was severed. Yeah, there was a snuff. I think something may have erupted. Yeah, maybe so. Maybe so. It was the hardest I've ever seen him laugh.
Starting point is 00:59:52 Who are Doug's? He's driving all the... They drove to Miami, and he doesn't get to pick any music? It's a 22-hour drive. They cut it off into three days. They went eight, eight, and six or something like that. Why? Why? Why? Why don something like that. Why?
Starting point is 01:00:05 Why? Why don't they just lie? Stamina? Physics? Physics? What are you guys getting into this weekend? My dad's birthday dinner tonight. It's his birthday next week. Where are you going? Anywhere fancy? I feel like it was your dad's birthday dinner tonight it's a birthday next week but uh where are you going
Starting point is 01:00:25 anywhere fancy i feel like it was your dad's birthday recently no you got two dads you know how they are my word uh yeah uh his birthday is the 23rd but i will be gone um new orleans that's right that's right i don't know what I'm doing this weekend. I was going to go home, but I think my little sister has COVID. I'm going to Jersey Jerry's birthday party. She was with Chad. With your kid. Yep.
Starting point is 01:00:53 That would be nice. I'm excited because it's like the invite was adorable. It was a Steelers ticket. $8,000. $8,000 on it. And now I feel like I need to get an outfit for my son to wear to the party because it's going to be so much nicer. Get him a little Steelers jersey.
Starting point is 01:01:07 One-year-old birthday party. I know. Way bigger than mine. It was just me and my son. I got him a cupcake. This is going to put it to shame. That's all the kid needs. That's what it should be.
Starting point is 01:01:19 I've had a beautiful, perfect son since you left. He's very advanced. Was he not good before I left? He wasn't around. He's a delight. Was he not good before I left? No, he wasn't around. You hadn't had him yet. Yeah, I hadn't had him yet. Do you feel a sense of anger to Casey that she is now trying to do what you did? Yes, especially as a hot mom.
Starting point is 01:01:43 You know what I'm saying? Like, she really took my thunder. Oh, I thought you as a hot mom. You know what I'm saying? She really took my thunder. Oh, I thought you were the hot mom. So did I. But you've got like a year left because she's got to go through the entire pregnancy. True. That's true. Yeah, no, it stings a little.
Starting point is 01:01:55 It'll take her at least like two weeks to lose the weight that it took you six months to lose. That's true. That's true. How do you know that, Brandon? I don't. I just wanted to say it. I think you're putting a lot of pressure on her to restore her body to your ideal. You see, Smith?
Starting point is 01:02:09 Yeah. I do a podcast with her, brother. She's got to chop, chop. Exactly. Who are you? Get it back in shape. Who are you to do that? She's got to get it back in shape.
Starting point is 01:02:16 We've got to do numbies. Give a shit about that kid. We got cans thrown at her recently. I did not do that. Shameful. I did get her assaulted by cans. I wouldn't mind getting assaulted by some people. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:02:31 Boobs. Left and right. Where are they coming from next? You know? That would be awesome. I went to a strip club in Atlanta with the oldest strippers. What is it called? Everyone was telling me to go to that. They was in Atlanta they call it like where Atlanta strippers
Starting point is 01:02:48 go to die so it's all like elderly strippers retire them at home for a rest grandma strippers and the woman the main woman her breasts are like crazy long now and so I paid for a lap dance and literally part of her thing is she picks her boobs up and just slaps you in the face with them
Starting point is 01:03:04 and you're like it's crazy I don't think I'm into that Part of her thing is she picks her boobs up and just slaps you in the face with them. That's crazy. I don't think I'm into that. No. But I'm not sure. There's nothing like some long titties. And then she smashes a PBR can at the end and then she signs it and you get to keep it. Do you have it?
Starting point is 01:03:19 Yeah. How flat is it? It's pretty flat. I don't like that. Who was the clientele? Is it like fetishists or people there for the joke? It was a mix. It was pretty flat. I don't like that. Who was the clientele? Is it like fetishists or people there for the joke? It was a mix. It was a mix.
Starting point is 01:03:28 Did she sign her actual name or did she just do an X? Blondie is her name. She's illiterate. That's true. Yeah, that could be that. It takes a lot of force to smash a can. Oh, yeah. I still have it.
Starting point is 01:03:38 And she gave me a poem and a can. I have it at home in a Ziploc bag. I believe it in myself. Yeah, some of the strip club stuff I don't get. Like, when we were talking about
Starting point is 01:03:48 when people were like, oh, you can like putt, like there's a putt ball. That was me. Yeah, there was a, it was in a,
Starting point is 01:03:54 yeah. Yeah, I don't understand why you'd ever want to. I don't know why you'd ever want to do that. Go on. I don't understand strip club.
Starting point is 01:04:00 You like, you like get to putt golf ball into a stripper's lower area. Does it go in? I don't think it goes in. She sucks it in. I think it's just a vacuum.
Starting point is 01:04:10 Yeah, it just has to get around it. Huh. I guess. Well, each strip club, if you're looking for a gimmick, that's a good one. That's memorable. We're talking about it. I think that's a lot of pressure on your pussy. Your pussy has to suck up.
Starting point is 01:04:24 I'm trying to nut. If I were a stripper, I'd be in the titty game more than the pussy game. Yeah. If you can figure out how to alternate rotate them on the dance floor, I feel like tassels. Your tits? Tassel work. Yeah, tassel work.
Starting point is 01:04:37 You know what I mean? I feel like if you can do stuff like that, then you're golden. There's mints. There's mints. Go meet him or something. He'll tell you about him. What did you do for your bachelor party? Well, I
Starting point is 01:04:50 wasn't going to have one and then my friend surprised me. You were going to have one. You shouldn't know it. I guess that's right. I had said, you know, we don't have to do anything. I have a low sense of self. It started when i got fired
Starting point is 01:05:06 you think you're doing well and then all of a sudden you're just on your own people don't really care anymore you you look where you used to work and people are making fun of you? Yeah. Yeah, I can't even. Yeah, that would suck. Fuck. I can't give any. I remember Ellie Schnitt used to make fun of me after I got fired. I don't.
Starting point is 01:05:36 What did she say? Something like, blah, blah, blah, but he doesn't work here anymore, and I think we all know why that happened. That sounds like a singer. That's a good joke. I don't know if it was a good joke. I don't know why that happened. We did kind of all know why that happened.
Starting point is 01:05:56 I think everyone knew. Yeah. Why? Why? What Eve? I'm not laughing at that. I can't laugh at that. No, you know, you just really, you find yourself in dark of the other, but then you start drinking earlier in the day and all of a sudden the money you had saved.
Starting point is 01:06:36 Is this real? Yeah, I understand. You were there. They knew. They came over and they were like, let's have a drink. Let's play dice. Yeah. And I said, funny you say that.
Starting point is 01:06:49 I have some dice. It was, yeah. You were in the middle of your drinking when we. Yep. Yeah. The drink was half full when you arrived. Half empty. Half empty.
Starting point is 01:07:01 Yeah. And, you know, you just don't know how you're going to get out of it. Right. So if there are people that just got fired, should they just get their job back? Well, I don't know what they would do. Fortunately, my father had a lot of money. So I could rely on that for a while Until I got hired back
Starting point is 01:07:29 But if anyone else here got fired I mean with a couple of exceptions Yeah They'd be in big trouble They're screwed Yeah One of those people we talked about Brandon
Starting point is 01:07:38 Yeah The podcast that nobody cares about What would they do? Well you were doing stand-up. You even leveled up in your stand-up. To be honest with you, I started this as a joke. Yeah, okay. I'm not really sure where we are.
Starting point is 01:07:55 Delivered it. I tried to break the tension, and then you just locked right back in. I kept waiting for you to jump in and be like, oh, I like where we're going here. I kind of saw you digging yourself a hole. Right. Everything you said made sense. I watched.
Starting point is 01:08:09 It's kind of enjoyable to watch, too. I really, it was riveting. Yeah, it was enjoyable. I liked that. I was trying. Not my pain. It wasn't so much funny as surreal and, yeah, not good. I forgot today was your first day back, and I was going to plan on getting you something,
Starting point is 01:08:23 so I scrambled. You did get me something. You got me a really nice card yeah that was a very it must have been found in the sympathy section yeah sort of looked like the type of card you'd get for someone who had just survived a self-suicide attempt yeah and then what is the etiquette there do you get a gift what's that what's the etiquette in that situation self-suicide is that a gift yeah thing or just ignore it i think that's the biggestette in that situation? Self-suicide? Is that a gift? Yeah. Or just ignore it. I think that's the biggest. You get bigger gifts for that than you do on Christmas or your birthday.
Starting point is 01:08:50 Big gifts? I don't think we should normalize gifts for that. Yeah, exactly. Checks. Yeah. Stockings. Huh. You got me a Fandango gift card.
Starting point is 01:09:04 If you want to see a movie. It says on there $25 to $100. I'll let you guess what it is. I think it's one I have to add value to. $25. Oh, nice. Get you in. That'll get me one ticket.
Starting point is 01:09:20 Yeah, go see Elvis. Elvis? I don't know. I'm at HBO very soon. It's already there. See, this is the thing. I don't know. Is that still on HBO very soon? It's already there. See, this is the thing. I don't know if I'm even supposed to say HBO. That's the thing I have to figure out.
Starting point is 01:09:30 You can say HBO. I don't know. You already said Ellie Schnitt, so it's all downhill from here anyway. I didn't know she was a persona non-chrome. Well, I knew she was. I didn't. It doesn't matter. You're not supposed to say her name?
Starting point is 01:09:39 You can say HBO. Kate, when you told people that you were going to open for me, didn't you get some crap for that? A little bit. See, that's what I didn't understand. I think it was just... Because I didn't think I was an enemy of the company. Didn't an email go out? An email went out. Don't talk about him?
Starting point is 01:09:58 Don't talk about Francis? I think it was in the short term. Don't bring attention to why we had to let him go. I think they were trying the short term, don't bring attention to why we had to let him go. Yeah, I think they were trying to keep everything quiet and me publicizing where it was refreshing. Let's not let this thing pop off bigger than it is. I see. It wasn't about you.
Starting point is 01:10:14 Yeah, no, it wasn't about you. I guess it was fundamentally about you, but it wasn't. No, it wasn't about me. I guess it was. Who's next to be fired? Oh, good question. I think they've gotten more into this. I'm looking to add shows, by the way, if you've got ideas.
Starting point is 01:10:39 This subtle let people go. We're not renewing. That's the way they do it now. Quiet firing. Let people out to a pasture that doesn't exist. You were the first to buck the trend. People didn't get fired from barstools. That's what I was told. And now it's like there's contracts not being renewed.
Starting point is 01:10:53 Yeah. Left and right. I am firmly aware I'll probably get fired again. You think so? No. I imagine we all will. I was wondering if there was some sort of double jeopardy. No.
Starting point is 01:11:06 And get fired from the same place twice right yeah no you're immune now you're completely immune I'm going to whip my dick out I think that'd be fine pour a little tea kettle water on there and whip it out Will Compton pulled his penis out turn that whole bag into a tiny spoonful
Starting point is 01:11:24 little side cream spinach did you guys see that Tommy Lee Triple it right up. Turn that whole bag into a tiny spoonful side. Cream spinach. Did you guys see that Tommy Lee concert? I know the initial one where he pulled his dick out. Did you see the more recent one? He pulled a dog out from between his legs? No. He was like, all right, I pulled my dick out.
Starting point is 01:11:38 Now all you show me yours. And the whole audience pulled their dicks out. And then the camera was showing it on the. He's like, who wants to see their dick be five feet long because of the oh yeah behind him so all these guys are like really yeah but the problem was there's a lot of kids there oh oh no what brings their kids to a tommy i know i know that's a good question probably you kate yes probably freak yeah they won't remember if they're that young. All right, boys.
Starting point is 01:12:08 Yeah. Refreshing. Oh, this is our last show of the week. Well, I guess we're going to be doing the fast on Monday. Right. So we have boozy brunch tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:20 What time is boozy brunch? 12.30. That works for me. I'm excited. All right. Francis, welcome Francis welcome back super exciting times this is really fun guys I'm so excited to mix it up with you all yeah and also you know all jokes aside because I had a few that flopped on this yak is something very liberating
Starting point is 01:12:41 about the daily show of bombing it's I live is how you think? I like to live in that. What a miserable life that you live. It wasn't all bits, just that long, drawn-out self-love. I enjoyed that, too. It was a little bit modern art. Actually, you know what?
Starting point is 01:12:57 I thought you were going to put that on the gun. Clip it. That was kind of fun. Maybe I was wrong. I was really... I got nervous. That was was wrong. I got nervous. That was damn good. I thought it was broken into a million pieces
Starting point is 01:13:09 and it was like antimatter and you were picking it up with chopsticks. I wanted tears so bad. I would say that as big of a reason as any as to why I'm here is the friendships that you guys have allowed me to maintain since I was out in the cold beyond the wall. You're welcome, Francis. We're not like allowing the friends.
Starting point is 01:13:35 We're just friends. Yeah, but you don't know. Look, as I said, when I got fired, I didn't know if anyone was allowed to talk to me anymore. You would invite us out for incredible nights of food and drinks. We've had some good times. We've had some good times. Yeah. Then you would apologize afterwards.
Starting point is 01:13:50 Every single time you hang out with Francis, you get a text like, sorry if that wasn't fun enough. I'm like, dude, you bought me the most expensive steak I've ever – I didn't know beef could be that pricey. Handmaking elaborate cocktails for us all day. I like that. You were working for us I think you sent us
Starting point is 01:14:05 Like a text this long Because you were out of paprika For one of our drinks Good times When me and Francis Went to Red Bank, New Jersey He was hyping He had a Tesla
Starting point is 01:14:20 And he was hyping up the Tesla The entire time Uh oh Like the whole He's like dude this car Is like my favorite thing in the world. Like I love this. And then like 30 minutes into the drive, you say. Yeah, not even.
Starting point is 01:14:33 We're on like 0% battery. There's just no, you have to find somewhere to charge the car. Yeah, you can't just go to a gas station. Yeah. Dude, how does that work? I had been telling him, they got charging stations everywhere. Wrong.
Starting point is 01:14:51 There's a charging desert out there in New Jersey. We missed a couple turns, and there was one moment where Matty Wiener, who was opening for us, the GPS was bringing us to a spot. But New Jersey is all overpasses and these sort of confusing off-ramps and stuff. And I thought, I was like, ah, this looks like I'm going left. And I went left.
Starting point is 01:15:16 And sure enough, I was supposed to go right on this off-ramp type thing. And it tells you it's like 3%, 2%. You have X number of miles until your car dies. And I missed that ramp and it added another like two miles, which would have caused us to shut down on the highway. And Matty gasped. Yeah, because we just saw it happen and it was just like, fuck. I managed to pull off into one of those police like
Starting point is 01:15:45 um i don't even after almost like a toll station there's like a police or a utility vehicle kind of off and i pulled off there and then went through their uh service exit okay and got back to the route and we we filled up it was the closest i've come to it would have been awful it actually was six then we like charged up and we watched the Bill Burr special in the car. Oh, on the screen. Yeah. We were just watching Netflix while waiting for the car to charge. It was sick.
Starting point is 01:16:14 I bought the Tesla used. Yeah? Yeah. From my father. I'm not even kidding. They gave me a good price. Still haven't paid it. The wedding
Starting point is 01:16:29 was expensive. They paid for it. So, honeymoon. I wish my dad worked harder. I wish my dad was alive. Oh yeah, that just happened. Oh God, really? Oh, he was addicted to meth for 20 years. You're not. it'll take a toll
Starting point is 01:16:45 for real yeah yeah i don't like your guys dynamic it makes me incredibly uncomfortable we're figuring it out yeah i think it's because you guys are staring each other we've made a lot of eye contact he's my you're wearing the nice color you're the most like guy at the company i i'm this is my alpha dog i'm i'm talking to you. I'm in the middle seat. Yeah, it makes sense. Did I tell you guys that when you go to see the gorillas in Rwanda, that as you're approaching,
Starting point is 01:17:13 you hike in. It takes an hour to get there. And they tell you the sounds that you're supposed to make to let the silverback know you're a friend. You're not going to harm his family. And if you let him, you go, like that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:30 And then if he says, cool, you're cool. You can hang out with me and my family for the next hour. He responds. Oh, shit. And it happens. And you're supposed to do it throughout to just keep reassuring him all is good, all is well. But if you go, and he doesn't like you, or is like, now's not a good time, he goes, ah, ah, ah, ah. And then what?
Starting point is 01:17:55 And then that means you're not welcome, and you need to get on your knees to submit. Oh. Yeah. To show and then avert eye contact. I wouldn't do that. Yeah, I wouldn't. I would do that, but not the Oh. Yeah. To show and then avert eye contact. I wouldn't do that. Yeah, I wouldn't. I would do that, but not the knees. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:09 That's, what? Yeah, dude, a 700-pound silverback. I would definitely get on my knees. I would rip you in half. Yeah, I would get on my knees. Gives you that sound. I would need you. I would get on my knees.
Starting point is 01:18:17 Then he accepted you. It would be so much more efficient if that's how flirting at a bar worked. I know. Yeah, yeah. I know. I know. Yeah, shit. I'm going to try that. I know. I know. Yeah, shit.
Starting point is 01:18:25 I might try that. You should. You should. So then there's this other really cool element they tell you about where, so, you know, there's like technically one silverback per family. There's one alpha silverback. But he'll have four or five or six wives and he'll mate with all of them. And then those kids will grow up. And a lot of the papa silverbacks wives but sometimes the wives
Starting point is 01:19:09 will want to and they'll go hide in the bushes away from the silverback and they'll mate and then if the wife becomes pregnant with that usurper silverbacks, the son's kid, she'll then immediately mate with the alpha silverback again to make him think it's another baby of his. Because if the alpha silverback found out that one of his sons had mated with one of his wives, he would kill it. That's nuts. We're not that different. Same here. Sheeshesh that's crazy i don't even think i'd want to get near like i'm so like how close did you get to them feet yeah see i mean
Starting point is 01:19:57 me to owen is the silver but i have pictures yes it's instant they've been habituated to humans but they say it's for their own like protection yeah you know it's still a wild animal but they only allow one group of people to see them once a day for one hour because they've learned that if you spend more time with them they get stressed yeah then last fact which i thought was really cool sometimes when the young male offspring of the family grow up they realize okay well there's no women here for me. So they'll leave. And then they'll go and they'll try to find another family. And they'll maybe fight the silverback off from that family. And if they do, and they can establish themselves
Starting point is 01:20:39 as the alpha silverback of a new family, they will murder all of the offspring from that former silverback because they want the entire bloodline of the family to be theirs. Holy shit. Jeez. Pretty crazy, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:58 Scenery-wise, how does Africa compare to your other top vacations? Man. You know, N'Gama, the Mara, the Maasai Mara, which is sort of the grasslands in Kenya. It's like a national preserve. It looks like where Noah landed the ark. And from that day forward, all the animals just repopulated that square of the earth it's it's really dramatic um beautiful trees and and hills and kind of you know grasslands and stuff like that really really cool uh rwanda we the city of kigali which which was the epicenter of the genocide, is becoming sort of a modern industrial center. And they are super proud of it.
Starting point is 01:21:53 I watched the video. They're trying to be ritzy, too. Yeah. They really want to court Westerners and convince them that, hey, we are a center of business. And look, here's our convention center and there's a there's the american embassy look at how fortified it is and all this um and and they do it so much that you sort of start to get the sense that uh there's a little bit of like proper propaganda brainwashing going on yeah and they they speak in illustrious terms about their president
Starting point is 01:22:25 who for all um for all i read it has done a pretty remarkable job some iffiness to it exactly like if you really dig deeper you find that a lot of his political dissidents have fucking died in hotel rooms yeah in different countries where they you you know, journalists, things like that. And we didn't bring that up. Yeah. Yeah. Because they all seem to love him so much. I mean, I think he wins like 90% of the vote in elections,
Starting point is 01:22:53 but he's been president for 19 years. Um, through the genocide, he was a general, I think, or a commander who like came. Oh, my magic off after and tried he was involved like he
Starting point is 01:23:06 fought yeah the quell it um but you know it's fascinating because uh you go there long enough and you you listen to people talk and it there were some other westerners we met who knew more about it, and they were like, fundamentally, this is the way it needed to be in this country. So if a few opposing political voices needed to be murdered, that's a far better improvement from the way that power changed hands for decades in this country, and he's the best bet forward. Yeah, it's a tough moral stance to have. I don't know. It's hard. I mean, you can't go from bloodshed, violence, coup after coup after coup. Yeah, you're right.
Starting point is 01:23:54 It's a perfect democracy and term limits and stuff. That's what I've kind of gathered. They're going to clip that now and put it out in the wrong context. Francis Dish is on January 6th. You're going to have to. Yeah. gathered they're gonna clip that now and put it out in the wrong context francis dishes on january 6th yeah you're gonna have to yeah so that was cool i don't know africa was awesome um rwanda is like uh farmlands it's you know very agricultural um and as i, it's like 70 or 80% of the country is agrarian or farmers. Only 42% of the households have running water. I think 54% have electricity.
Starting point is 01:24:36 They're trying to grow their middle class and all of that. And in fact, that term I told you, amakuru. Yeah. and in fact that term i told you amakuru yeah they even apply that to like people in hospitality who work with the tourists so if they see a rwandan person who has made it to the job of being a tour guide or you know whatever they'll call them that too. Was there a lot of tourists there? Was there a lot of... Certainly the gorillas have caught the eye of the hospitality industry. And now they've like blossomed that into a major
Starting point is 01:25:15 at a lot of the universities. I think Cornell has built a campus there because they're famous for having like a really good hotel program. They do. They have their own hotel on campus run by the students at Cornell. So they've built a campus over there. And clearly people seem to be betting on Rwanda as the next major tourist hub of Africa.
Starting point is 01:25:37 But then we flew from there to South Africa, spent one night in an airport hotel and then bounced out to mozambique which is another country that really i mean there's been a lot of like terrorism breeding in the north um certainly civil war things like that but we were just going to the the beach for like you know an island or whatever the last four days but when we arrived uh we you know landed on some tiny airport and we got to customs immigration and like their entire system was down the printer didn't work and so we sat you know on these metal chairs like in the country but not technically in the country for three hours, waiting for them to figure out why their software had crashed.
Starting point is 01:26:30 Right. And they weren't, they didn't give a fuck, you know? And everyone would be like, well, this is Africa. This is Africa. They have, like, an AK-47 on their flag. Do they? Zambique has a gun, yeah. Gun.
Starting point is 01:26:44 Interesting. You're getting too educational for the new fans. They're going to want to see you slap Owen. Can you fart real quick? What the fuck is this? Is this class?
Starting point is 01:26:52 I'm not going to slap Owen. Is this class? What the hell? School? What the fuck? I really like Owen. Yeah. Owen's hysterical.
Starting point is 01:27:01 He sneakily says a lot of the funniest stuff on this show. You know this. Sneaky goated. Yeah. So I don't know. I'mily says a lot of the funniest stuff on this show you know this sneaky goaded yeah um so i don't know i'm giving you a lot of sort of wikipedia shit that i learned um but then then we then we then they take you in a helicopter which was kind of cool and weirdly not expensive to the island uh and then we you know did some snorkeling out there. Love a good snorkel.
Starting point is 01:27:25 You see these small motorized boats that are just like big, big rowboats that have a very weird motor on the back that kind of looks like it was made from a washing machine or something and there's like 25 people on it and it's very hard not to be like, I am the captain now oh yeah we couldn't that was couldn't
Starting point is 01:27:49 help ourselves from saying that you know um first thought when you said that was yeah yeah it's hard it's hard not to say it um but we had a great time that was cool that was sort of like finally the romantic uh honeymoon thing because everything else, I mean, these game drives, these gorilla tracking, you're up at five in the morning. Yeah. Going out early. Yeah. And, you know, we never got to collect ourselves from our wedding.
Starting point is 01:28:15 We left the day after our wedding. What's that flight? Well, I just wrote a big blog about it. We flew Qatar Airways, and I sprung for business class because I had just gotten hired here. But hadn't signed my contract yet, and I was like, ooh. Hope that works out. And the Qatar Airways business class, it's called the Q Suite, is like the number one ranked. So my first blog back, which I've been working on,
Starting point is 01:28:45 is a review of that accommodation. Casey Neistat style. Yeah. He does like first class. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which are like proper sweet houses. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:57 Yeah. Homes. Yeah, he's back in New York as well. Yeah. And you only get those on the A380s, like the fucking humongous air buses and stuff.
Starting point is 01:29:06 We were on a Boeing 777. That's a hefty beast. It is a big plane, but there's only business class and coach. Are those the ones that have been having issues? No, that's the 737 MAX, but that hasn't had issues in years, brother. I need you to do your research. You also went on a big trip out of the country when you were let go right well yeah um that's so funny in comparison just with your headspace being
Starting point is 01:29:33 just let go or oh wow now i'm going back there's so it's so funny you say that owen yeah you didn't do that there's there's been this weird kind of, in many ways, like mirror image of going out and coming back in. It feels very cyclical. Yeah, like when I went out, Game of Thrones had just ended and I was doing those songs about it. Yeah. Sure enough, within a couple weeks of me coming back,
Starting point is 01:30:01 the show has come back on. What does it mean? Yeah, and yeah, to your point, you know, of me coming back, the show has come back on. What does it mean? Yeah, and to your point, that was the first vacation that I had taken since I started working at Barstool the first time. And man, it's like
Starting point is 01:30:16 if I had just hung on for two more days or whatever. I think it was the Friday before I left. But now that girl's your wife too that's cool yeah wow yeah it's cool yeah the girl i went on uh that trip with is my whole pretty neat and and do you want to hear another cool piece about in terms of full circleness is on our first date four years ago which was close to four years ago now, she asked me about some bucket list items that I had,
Starting point is 01:30:48 and I told her that gorilla trekking in Rwanda was like a major bucket list item, and sure enough, we did it on our honeymoon. I'll be. There you go. That's pretty cool. How about that, huh? Things work out. Yeah, it's very good.
Starting point is 01:31:03 We can end on that. Yeah, let's end on a good note. Let's end on a good note. Good vibes. Let's get out of here. Yeah, it's very good. All right, we can end on that. Yeah, let's end on that good note. Let's end on that good note. Let's end on good vibes. Let's get out of here. Bye, everybody. Enjoy Rowan and Big Cat tomorrow in Vegas. Yes.
Starting point is 01:31:11 All right. They're going to get wet. They're going to get wet. Oh, yeah, they have a wheel there. Yeah. Wah. Wah. Scorpion.
Starting point is 01:31:18 Scorpion. It's the act. It's the act. It's your straws, yeah. Style the tape for a while. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. That's time to talk. Shop and do a Yankee pop. It's the act.
Starting point is 01:31:43 It's the act. Yankees love Islayac Islayac

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