The Yak - Frank Ranks His Favorite Stadiums On A WILD Tank Thursday | The Yak 8-5-21
Episode Date: August 6, 2021SQUAD DEEP todayYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the Yak.
It's the Yak. Go ahead.
You do it.
Bike's off.
Go ahead.
All right.
It's the Yak.
It's the Yak.
With Brandon Walker, myself, Owen, and Frank the Tank.
What's my last name?
Roeder.
There we go.
Roeder.
That's how you say it?
Oh, I was thinking I was saying Raider.
We've got the A team here today.
Yep. As voted on by you, the fans, yesterday you how you say it? Mm-hmm. Oh, I was thinking I was saying Raider. We've got the A team here today. Yep.
As voted on by you, the fans, yesterday you decided to get Big Cat out of here.
Nick and KB, they're not doing all the funny jokes today.
We're going to go a different direction with this show.
Hi, Frank.
Okay.
Mets.
You know.
So that's the direction we're going. The Mets should basically be called out by Amnesty International
because being a Mets fan is a good choice.
Ran and just walked out.
Let's do three minutes of as much Mets rants as you can get in.
Well, today's game started at noon, and it's off to a rollicking start.
They had the bases loaded, nobody out.
Yes.
And they did not score a single run.
Okay.
That's like the 18th time that's happened this year.
The Mets this year are 19 for 90 with the bases loaded.
That seems poor.
And have 29 strikeouts with the bases loaded.
I mean...
Haven't they been in first place as long as any other team in the MLB?
The wire-to-wire first place.
But their lead is not...
It's not wire-to-wire, not wire-to-wire.
Pretty much wire-to-wire.
But the only reason is because their whole division is just...
Their lead is down to 1.5 games, 1.5 games.
The Phillies are coming.
The Braves are coming.
The Braves are 2.5 games back.
The Phillies are 1.5 games back, right? You Braves are two and a half games back. The Phillies are one and a half games back, right?
You're on the Braves, right?
Me?
Yeah.
100%.
Yeah.
I'm doubled up on it.
But the division is terrible.
But otherwise, what else is going on?
Well, I just got back from Chicago with Duggs.
So you went to, I saw on Twitter, so you go to a Pirates game, you went to a Cubs game,
a White Sox game, and you went to the National Sports Card and Collectors Convention, which I am jealous.
I've always wanted to fucking go to that thing.
How was it?
Oh, it was great.
Brandon, good news for you.
What?
Next year it's in Atlantic City.
Really?
Yes.
Oh, good.
That is good news for me.
Hopefully I will be nowhere near the absolute shithole that is Jersey by then.
Hopefully I'll be back down south.
But if it is in Jersey, I would love that.
I mean, Atlantic City, excuse me.
I didn't mean to insult Jersey as well.
Well, if you want to see shitholes,
Atlantic City pretty much is not our greatest example.
Did you do stand-up last night, Sass?
I did, yeah.
It wasn't great.
Okay.
Was there more people there?
No, it was pretty dead.
And it was like kind of
everyone that went up.
There was back-to-back open mics
and I was there for the second one and everyone from the first one
stayed, so I was like one of the last people.
Wow. What is this?
What the fuck? Wow. Wow. What the fuck is this?
I mean... What is going on?
Sit down.
Hey. What's up. What are you doing?
What are you guys doing?
Why are you not here?
I'm walking out the door right now.
Didn't look like it.
Dank, hello?
You don't like doing the Yak?
I love doing the Yak. I literally have to go.
My flight is in an hour.
You fly in private?
You got power with the airlines?
You got to get there like 10 minutes early with COVID.
First class, though.
It takes an hour
to just go through security now.
But not for him.
Depends on where you are.
He'll just go right through.
LaGuardia is tough.
The security there is brutal.
Newark is good.
Newark is great.
Yeah, I fly through security there.
JFK is all right, but I don't really like flying out of JFK.
Do you fly exclusively out of Newark, Frank?
Well, that would be my goal.
I mean, when I went down to the Jake Paul interview, I went through JFK, and that was just a shit show.
I took an Uber to JFK, and it almost took just as long to drive to Chicago.
The Uber to JFK costs almost as much as the flight does.
You guys just running the same jokes?
That's good.
Well, it's true.
I know.
Double barrel action here.
No, I thought he said the drive there took almost as long.
Right, but then you went the cost.
It's true.
Well, as Lane said, nobody beats the Van Wick.
That's what she said.
I wouldn't hate getting
Jim Florentine in here
giving sass advice for stand-up.
Does that motherfucker
still work here?
He just walks by.
No way.
Yes, he did.
Florentine's in.
Somebody go see
if we can get Florentine.
TJ.
That's not.
Why?
That'd be great.
I don't want to talk about
oh, I'm cutting out.
Never mind,
that might just be my headphones.
Your headphones.
Yeah, no, the open mic was pretty bad. Yeah, no, the open mic was pretty bad.
Yeah, but that one open mic was pretty bad.
If we can get Jim Florentine to talk about it.
He's a stand-up, apparently.
Oh yeah, I knew that. He's a good stand-up, too.
Like ever.
Alright, Frank.
What is he doing in the office?
He has a podcast with us.
I didn't know that he did his podcast in the office, though. No, I think he's here for stool streams, maybe.
What's he doing on stool streams?
Florentine's getting more into the action.
He's recording.
Recording?
Yeah, his podcast.
I really doubt Jim Florentine came here to bunt.
He came to play against Sidney Wells in Cornhole.
Did he really?
Yes.
That's the first time I've seen him in a while.
He lives in New York?
Jersey, I think.
He's a Jersey guy, yes
Yeah
Have you ever seen him?
He did a show at Caroline's pretty recently
Really?
Yeah
That's the big leagues
What was your question, Owen?
If Frank ever sees him in Jersey
I've never seen him walking around Jersey, but I know he's a Jersey guy
Respect
I've seen Frank in the wild in Jersey once
I was transferring at Secaucus Junction
And I was walking down the train platform
And Frank was just chilling.
Look at this fraud.
Look at this motherfucker.
This is a bit much.
I mean, that was a shot to the back of the head.
Apparently, because PMT is one of the biggest podcasts in the world,
he makes a ton of money or something, he can do that.
But he can't do this.
I in no way expected him to just walk by.
Is PMT gearing up for a live show next Thursday?
I don't think so.
It's a good question, Owen.
You know, I actually saw a license plate that might have been PFT.
It was an Alberta license plate PFT with numbers.
Oh, wow.
PFT.
Must have been a fan.
I think he's from Virginia.
PFT. Must have been a fan. I think he's from Virginia. PFT is.
Yeah.
But this is from Alberta, and it just shows you that it's coming.
Did you see that license plate here?
Because Alberta's a long-ass way.
No Canada. I saw it in Ohio.
Well, we can speak of the country.
I'm just saying.
We love Canada.
Canada's amazing.
It's fantastic.
It's great.
It's one of the best. One of these days, I'd actually like to go to Canada. You haven't been?. We love Canada. Canada is amazing. It's fantastic. It's great. It's one of the best.
One of these days I'd actually like to go to Canada.
You haven't been?
Never been to Canada.
Okay.
I'd like to get you to all 50 states if I could, too.
How many states are you at?
Can I guess?
I think you're at 18.
One off 19.
I added three last week that I've never been to.
Oh, you've never been to Chicago?
Never been to Illinois, never been to Indiana, never been to Ohio.
Okay. All right. Owen, how many never been to Chicago? Never been to Illinois, never been to Indiana, never been to Ohio. Okay.
All right.
Owen, how many are you at?
This is exciting.
Probably a lot.
How many stadiums have you been to, Frank?
Better question.
Nine.
Oh, you got to get those numbers up.
We'll get them up.
Those are rookie numbers, Frank.
I mean, well, it was five going into this year.
Can we power rank the nine?
All right.
He's just showing off at this point.
One, Wrigley.
Okay. Oh, you just saw it for the
first time, right? Yes. You loved it that much?
Well, it was classic. It was everything that
you expected. It's got a real baseball
feel. Yes. When I was at Wrigley, I was
having a great time.
It feels like you're at a baseball
game when you're at Wrigley.
You are at a baseball game, Owen.
Yeah.
Where'd you sit?
Third baseline, outfield, bleachers?
Big Cat hooked me up, and I was practically behind home plate.
Okay.
Oh, wow.
That's interesting.
He didn't hook me up.
He did offer to, but he didn't.
Well, why do you say he didn't hook you up?
I mean, if he offered to, that's...
He offered to, and then you made fun of him.
I did not make fun of him.
I can read the text.
I was extremely thankful.
Has anybody talked about the fact that you and Big Cat actually hate each other?
We do not hate each other.
You 100% hate each other.
You definitely resent each other.
He posted something about the Cubs game, and I was like, I'm going to the game.
I replied to his tweet. And then he texted me, and I was like, I'm going to the game. I replied to his tweet.
And then he texted me, and he was like, let me know if you need anything.
And so I was joking around, and I was like, can I get box seats, whatever, blah, blah, blah.
And then I was just kidding.
I'm like, actually, thank you.
I appreciate it.
I'll let you know if I need anything.
And then I invited him to go to the Yankees game with us, the Red Sox-Yankees game at Yankee Stadium.
And he laughed in my face, and he was like, we're going to the movies.
And I said, let me know if you need anything at the movie theater.
Both of you only do the invitations as a show, a fake show.
I legitimately invited him, but I knew he wasn't going to come.
So now we've got a second issue that has just arisen right now.
What?
That you invited everybody in the act except for him.
You honestly.
You weren't even here, I don't think.
I absolutely was here. I think you were in Mississippi.
No, I was back.
There are six people
on the act. You invited
five of them. Okay, I was
going to invite Roan. You did invite
Roan. But Roan was getting married that week.
So I was like,
he's probably pretty busy. So you invited
Roan, right? No, I invited Big Cat first, and then Big Cat laughed in my face when I invited him. Alright, he's probably pretty busy. So you invited Roan, right?
No, I invited Big Cat first, and then Big Cat laughed in my face when I invited him.
All right, let's go through the order of who got the invitations.
So I assume Owen lives with you.
He probably got a standing invitation.
KB, Nick, and Owen all got invites first.
First.
Okay, they're first.
And then Roan got – Big Cat got the next one.
I originally was just not going to invite anyone else.
So what happened was my uncle got tickets.
He had five.
Was it five or six?
It was five tickets.
And he couldn't go.
So he gave me the tickets.
Frank, what's number two?
Number two is PNC Park in Pittsburgh.
You just saw that one for the first time last week, right?
Yes.
They have a great river walk behind the bleachers. And it's a shame that that city enjoys such a terrible team.
Really nice.
Yeah, I agree.
It's a wonderful stadium.
So there was five tickets.
There was five tickets.
I was only going to invite KB, Nick, and Owen.
And then my dad was like, well, you're taking the extra tickets.
So fine.
So when else to go?
So then I was like, I'm not going to invite Roan.
And then I was like, would Big Cat want to go?
And then I asked Big Cat, and he was like, absolutely not.
And I was like, oh, okay.
So then I was like, okay, let's just ask Roan.
And then Roan was like, yeah, I'll come.
I have a question.
How many tickets would you have needed to have to invite me?
Six.
I would have been the next one.
Yes.
I would have been the next invitation.
Yes.
Owen, do you believe that?
I don't.
I don't.
Who else would I have invited?
I think, yeah.
I don't think so.
I think you would have been six.
Frank, what's number three?
Number three would be old Yankee City.
Have a good weekend, guys.
Nice mask, Libcat.
Cheap.
Have a good weekend.
Libcat.
Cheap.
Masks are bad.
No, no, they're not.
Dude, I got on the fucking subway yesterday, and I looked around, and I was the only person
without a mask.
Me and Omer just on the subway with no masks.
Really?
Spitting everywhere.
Yeah, I got to go with you guys.
All right, see you guys.
Have a good trip.
I won't be here Monday, just as as a reminder because I'm a rider.
Have a good trip.
I have a video I have to tape on Long Island, but that was...
Have a good trip.
All right, bye.
That's Big Cat.
Going to a...
What number three was?
What now?
Old Yankee Stadium.
Okay, so you haven't been to that one in a while.
Well, it's...
Why does it hold up so well?
It was classic.
It was like... You felt the history walking
in there, even though the stadium
looked different than it did in the old days.
It still had that classic feel to it.
And old versus new, I felt like you were more
on top of the field at the old stadium,
which just made it louder.
Everything was just bouncing around. Have you ever been to Fenway?
Yes, I have.
Are we just going to spoil the list?
Well, I was just curious.
No, the one thing we have for this show
is the list of nine.
But yeah, let's do it all.
Let's do it how you want to do it.
Also, Old Yankee Stadium brings me to my question.
Who are the worst Yankees in the world?
I'm talking about Northerners.
Who do you hate the most?
You know what I saw today
that was kind of funny off topic,
but similar on topic.
Yeah, go ahead.
I saw, so they posted like the Karabas and Ortiz thing on the Instagram, on the Barstool main page.
Call him Poppy.
Yeah, call him Poppy.
And someone, and like.
Hey, Jim, come here.
We don't need to do this.
No, we're going to do it.
You want to sit down?
Sure.
Yeah.
Jim fucking Florentine's here.
Hey, buddy. What's Florentine's here.
Hey, buddy.
What's going on?
What's going on?
I haven't seen you in a while.
Okay, well, I'll shake my own hand.
Sorry, I didn't see you yet.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I don't know if you're familiar, but this is Harry, a.k.a. Little Sasquatch, and he's been recently getting into the stand-up game.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah?
He's been doing open mics and all that stuff in New York.
He hasn't had any big shows yet, right?
No, no big shows.
But he's grinding.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How many times have you been on stage?
Seven so far.
All right.
How old are you?
20.
That's a good age.
You started young.
Yeah, okay.
All right.
Do you think it's better to start young, or do you need life experience?
Both.
Okay.
You know, Pete Davidson started young.
Chappelle started when he was like 14.
Okay.
But it's good that you have your shit together at 20.
I didn't even start until I was 25.
I don't think he said he had his shit together.
Well, just that he's been up seven times.
Look, it's going to be a tough road.
But, you know, you're going to be in Holiday Inns in some town in Iowa
for like four straight days in a hotel by yourself.
There's going to be a Subway sandwich shop you can eat at.
You'll have breakfast, lunch, and maybe even dinner there.
You're not going to know anybody.
You have a show that night.
That sounds fucking awesome.
You're going to have like 14 hours to kill during the day.
Yeah, well, I barely know anyone here,
so it doesn't sound like it would be much different.
Well, I just got back off the road,
and I was on a road trip with Coach Doug.
Riding back, we stopped at a place in Fort Wayne for the night after going to Chicago,
on the way to the Hall of Fame in Canton.
They knock on the door at 8 o'clock in the morning.
Housekeeping!
That's good.
Housekeeping!
Housekeeping! Of course good. Housekeeping.
Of course, I'm getting ready to take a shower, and I'm sitting on the toilet.
Yeah, uh-huh.
Not that I want to give you that visual.
I actually think they do that to make sure that you're not dead.
There's no audience to come there and go, okay, we got another corpse here.
That would crush an Iowa.
So did you get up off the toilet? No.
So what'd you do? They came in?
Don't come in.
Don't come in.
You gotta put a do not disturb sign
on the door and they don't come in.
Because they'll start knocking at 8.
Well I didn't know that. I didn't know that they actually did that.
They probably heard you grunting on the ball.
Something's going on in that room.
Somebody might be in the stand.
So when you started at 25, did you have to do, how long was it awkward for you?
Not awkward.
How long was it?
Did you start in New York?
Thank you very much.
Yeah, I started in New York, but then I wasn't ready for it.
There wasn't nearly as many open mics when I first started.
So, you know, You do a couple shows
in Jersey and you think you're good. Then you come
to New York where the competition is good
and then they just stare at you.
You think you're great.
I don't think Zass took the Jersey route at all.
I think he just started right in New York.
I'm not going to leave Manhattan.
There's a ton of places now.
There's a ton of places where you can get up.
When I first started, there wasn't that many open mics.
You just went right to the clubs.
Yeah.
And you had to bring like 10 people with you
because that's the only way they put you on stage for five minutes.
And then if you did good, they promised you,
then you didn't have to bring people anymore.
I remember you used to have Rascal's Comedy Club, West Orange.
Yeah.
Yeah, I did some shows there.
But, no, it's a good time for him to start,
which he can get to a lot further in his career just from social media,
through Barstool, through YouTube or something.
Something goes viral or whatever like that.
So it's not a bad time, but it's tough.
Sass, do you want to do a quick five for Jim?
No, not at all.
Quick little five.
He's going to get girls that would never look at him by being on stage.
That's one of the perks has that happened yet
no
it's been strictly
I think
I think yesterday's open mic
there was not one girl there
yeah they don't usually
they don't wanna fuck
the open mic
they come later
they wait for the clubs
another year or so
when it starts opening
for guys
they'll be all over him
and you'll get girls like
there's no way
this girl would ever
look at me
if I wasn't on stage
if he's shown up and even if it's just him and two people it's still important to just
keep doing it yeah absolutely just get up the that's the only way you're gonna get better in
front of two three four eight people i used to perform at the comic strip like after a regular
show at like one in the morning there'd be like two people left yeah and i couldn't wait to get
in front of those two people so um yeah get up in front of anybody and stuff but you never know there's so much work in new
york city all these little places in brooklyn so he can get good really quick there you go
if he if he really just sticks with it and stuff the problem is at 20 you got a lot of distractions
some girl wants to go out with you on a tuesday and you're going to do an open mic what are you
going to do i don't think he has to worry about that.
No girls are going out with me. Why not?
You're like close to asexual, I'd say.
Oh, yeah. Well, that's
good because then that won't get in his way.
You know what I mean?
It won't get in his way where he's just
like, no, I'm not going here because this girl wants
to hook up with me. So when you first
started, pussy got in the way?
Don't you tell me? It still does.
You would have gotten
a little further,
a little quicker,
just too much pussy.
I never went to college.
I went to community college
so I didn't go away for college.
Me too, brother.
So yeah,
but I didn't get experience
like living in a dorm
and hooking up
with all these girls.
So when I got on the road
starting doing stand-up,
that was like my college.
Yeah.
Well, that sounds pretty...
The problem is
it's still going on for me
at some point you got to grow up so you would think no you're right i mean if you're a comic
you don't have to that's the one good thing people give you a pass on stuff when you do
stupid shit because you're a comic so what are you doing here just recording today yeah i was
recording my podcast and they had to do a uh i guess a photo shoot or something for headshots
oh that's right that's right everybody's awful right yeah i had it done in under 30 seconds just there's my head
yeah i go we don't he goes yeah just really quick yeah look no matter how many shots you're gonna
take i'm still gonna be maybe a five on a scale of one i'm never gonna be a seven and a half so
let's just get this fucking thing over with yeah the face doesn't change at all it doesn't really
matter like you're telling jokes. Like, they always wanted you
to have a headshot in comedy.
I go, I'm a comedian.
Who gives a fuck
about a headshot?
I gotta be funny on stage.
It doesn't matter.
Have you had a good
headshot taken yet?
No.
My picture on the
Barstool website
I took myself.
Okay, alright.
Are you taking one this week?
I didn't know we were
doing that until I saw
Kate's post on Instagram,
so I guess I should.
Yeah, I think they're
all waiting for us in there.
I haven't done it yet either.
Did you just walk in?
Yeah, I literally just walked in.
Like you said, 30 seconds.
They're going to take a couple shots of you and be done with it.
I think Rico and Dan did one as a joke yesterday.
Oh, yeah, I saw that.
The good cameras, the high-quality cameras, and all that.
So how's the podcast going?
Everything good?
Yeah, everything's good, man.
Good.
I haven't seen you in a while.
COVID got in the way of everything. Yeah, relationship started with barstool then kovat
happened and like i i started like late january like in a month later six weeks later the whole
thing shut down so i think the only time you and i have ever talked has been on like a zoom
interview or something or zoom i had you on a couple shows yeah early on i can see by the blank
look in your eyes you don't remember at all no i No, I do. That's fine. No, I do. And then, you know, I used to do a larger show when he had the radio show in the morning.
I'd come in and laugh at that and then do.
You came to the company party.
Yeah, I was at the company party.
But I think, Brandon, you were in Omaha maybe?
I was in Omaha.
Yeah, I was in Omaha for that and then I was in Mississippi after that.
So, you know, Omaha, Mississippi, two places you've frequented, I'm sure.
I love Omaha.
Yeah, it's actually a good town.
It's a great town.
It's a really good town.
There's a great comedy club there.
Is there?
Yeah.
I wish I had found that because I didn't have much comedy in my life for those two weeks.
I was just watching baseball with a bunch of fat people.
Who's your team?
Mississippi State University.
We won the national championship.
I don't know if you noticed that.
What do you think is the most underrated city for comedy?
Good questions today, Owen.
That is a good question.
It used to be Cleveland, but now they're too woke good question it used to be Cleveland
but now they're too woke there
yeah
they used to be just
blue collar
yeah
yeah the Guardians
and they're all
they're all okay with them
changing the name
Pittsburgh was pretty good
but they're kind of
turning to
Texas
so you're fighting
the woke battle
every time you go up
on stage now
no they usually
they stay away
from the comedy clubs
they don't bother you
really
yeah I thought that was the opposite of what was happening I thought like comedy was under attack from every time you go up on stage now? No, they stay away from the comedy clubs. They don't bother you. Really?
Yeah.
I thought that was the opposite of what was happening.
I thought comedy was under attack from... It is from the outside if you're posting on social media
and stuff like that, but they don't come to the clubs.
They actually do the research.
They go, no, I don't want to see this person.
Everyone's got a clip online, which is good
because they used to just come in not knowing
what the comic was, what he does on stage.
That's stupid.
You've got a bachelorette party, like 12 girls sit right in front of,
like, that Doug Stanhope show.
And they're like, we didn't know.
Like, you didn't know.
You researched everything else, the fucking Applebee's you're going to go to afterwards and the dance club and all that shit,
but you didn't know that Doug Stanhope.
So that's interesting because all the restrictions or all the things
that can help Sass make his career, like, you know, being on social media, being out there and stuff. stay in hope yeah so that's interesting because all the restrictions are all the uh the things
that can help sass make his career like uh you know being on social media being out there and
stuff you know you kind of have the restrictions of people the woke people watching but so there's
freedom and being on stage now they the people that really want you to just say whatever you
want on stage they're the ones coming to comedy club they're actually better crowds that are
coming out because they're so sick of living like this and have to be safe
in every aspect of life when they finally get to a dirty a nightclub where it's dark they just want
to hear they don't no one's going no that you can't say that the race stuff though doesn't work
anymore like you can't do so you gotta get rid of the slur bit the race stuff is tough that that
they just or if you do something about a cop yeah they they just they go quiet but other than that
you're you're safe.
Let's ask your entire act is based on race.
No, not at all.
Coming from a white guy, you got to be careful.
Like you always ride that fine line,
but now the crowd's just like, please,
I don't want to feel uncomfortable.
Yeah.
Do something else.
So wait, are you socially awkward?
Is he a weirdo?
No, not really.
He's awkward.
Because that makes a good comic,
when you're socially awkward and you're weird.
I think he's sufficiently socially awkward enough to be a good comic.
I guess.
I mean, I'm not like outgoing.
I don't know.
I guess I didn't talk to anyone here until like three months that I was here.
Yeah, the guy that's like causing a scene, wants all the attention, they're terrible comics.
Okay.
So just that he didn't talk to anyone for three months, he's going to be good.
And he wears the same fucking shirt every day.
Yeah, because that's a comic.
He's like, yeah,
why do I got to wash it?
It doesn't smell.
So he's going to be able to live on the road
on like $50,
make it $50 a night.
He already knows.
I don't need to change this.
So the show goes from 1 to 2 o'clock
is the Yak.
If you want to stay, you can stay.
If you got something else to do,
I don't want to get in your way.
So don't feel obligated to stay and sit with us if you don't want to.
Yeah, I do got to get going.
I've got to get my kid and all that shit.
But anyway, so yeah, Sass has embarked on – he comes in every day and he's like,
you know, I did a couple of sets last night.
Could that help?
Did you do two last night?
If Sass popped out a kid, you think?
No, it's too early for that you're gonna you're not you're
gonna i feel like it'd be a lot of material though it would be but he's 20 he doesn't need that shit
because then what first of all you shouldn't don't get a girlfriend and if you do they're gonna they're
gonna hate that you go on the road because it's always on the weekends where you make your money
and then she's gonna want to hang out with her and her girlfriends or you on a weekend and you
got to go away if she's working 9 to 5.
So you're going to fuck up everything with that stuff.
I feel like, Sash, you kind of want the entirety of your career to happen between 2nd and 9th Avenues.
You're not really looking to go on the road.
There's comedy clubs near where I live, so I go to those ones.
But I've gone to Brooklyn.
I mean, it's just like i have to work here still yeah
but yeah so you know there's a lot of you know you're not gonna get married young you're not
gonna have any kids you're gonna have to live like a fucking animal basically and lots of pussy
lots of pussy that's that's lots of pussy that's the thing he's not gonna have health insurance
but he's gonna get chicks out of his league that's the trade-off he's not gonna you know
what i mean like he's gonna have to go to walk in to get chicks out of his league. That's the trade-off. You know what I mean? He's going to have to go to a walk-in
medical and pay out of his pocket,
but he's going to fuck a nine.
There's no reason he should fuck a nine.
He should maybe get
five.
Same here. I'm in the same boat.
Alright, Jim.
Thank you very much.
Thanks, man.
Nice to meet you.
Frank, number four.
Number four would be Citi Field city field city field for the uh the new york metropolitans yes i've been to what you
don't like that one oh you made a noise i do i think it's one of the most fun stadiums to go to
but it's because it has so many distractions from the game i've been to a various well when you're
a med fan you need distractions i know I know Queens Because as of today
They're losing 1-0
Michael Canofor
Who is the worst player
In baseball
Booted a ball
And of course
He struck out
With the bases loaded
Because he is
Michael Canofor
You know
Michael Canofor
This year
The only run
He's driven in
With the bases loaded
Is when he dropped
An elbow
Isn't
You said
Everything's going wrong
They're down 1-0
Yes
1-0 Okay 1-0 for the Mets is like
10-0 for other teams
The Mets are still in first place, Frank
We need to have first place energy
No, they're not going to be in first place
They've got 13 games coming against the Dodgers and Giants
They're going to get swept by the Phillies
They're going to be out of first place by tomorrow
Oh, actually, now that you mention it, that does stink
That fucking stinks.
I've been to a very small amount of stadiums.
Citi Field is one of them, though.
I went right when I got here.
It's a shockingly good stadium.
It's a really good-ass stadium.
I think I've been to three.
Three?
So you've been to Yankee.
You've been to what else?
I've been to Yankee, Wrigley, and Fenway.
That's a pretty strong two.
That's a pretty strong three.
I would say the three that I would most like to go to are Fenway.
I'm going to say four.
San Francisco, Wrigley, Fenway, and Pittsburgh.
You've never been to Fenway?
No.
Sneaky top three stadium, Camden Yards.
I don't even think that's sneaky.
In 92, I mean, me and him are old enough to remember when it debuted.
It was like the crown jewel.
It changed everything.
It was the first outfield into patio.
Yeah, it was the first beautiful baseball stadium. It changed the. It was the first outfield into patio, right? Yeah, it was the first beautiful baseball stadium.
It changed the whole dynamic.
Every stadium that was built after that was basically modeled after Camden Yards.
Yeah.
Me and my dad and my uncle used to, maybe two or three a summer,
we were trying to hit every stadium.
I think I got maybe more than halfway.
Really?
That's pretty good.
Yeah.
And then we stopped.
You're going to keep going at some point? When you have kids, are you going to pick that back up? Yeah, I'd maybe more than halfway. Really? That's pretty good. Yeah. You're going to keep going at some point?
When you have kids, you're going to pick that back up?
Yeah, I'd like to do that.
I'm just excited about Sass's pussy conquest he's going to have soon.
Yeah, Florentine's a big pussy guy, huh?
He was adamant about the fact that without this, he would get fives.
But that's fucking a nine.
That's something to look forward to.
Most of what he was talking about was about pussy or related to pussy.
He was so fucking funny.
Or what you do between the pussy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was like, which hotel you're going to be in until you get the next pussy.
Yeah.
I never really thought, I guess I should have said to him, I never really thought of stand-ups as guys that just get pussy like that.
I don't think they are.
I'm sure they do.
They get famous.
They get famous.
But like, I think of rising musicians, get pussy like that. I'm sure they do. They get famous. But I think of
rising musicians, I think of that.
Rising athletes. I never really thought of rising
stand-ups as pussy getters.
Yeah, I think
chuckle fuckers is the word.
Chuckle fuckers.
Chuckle fuckers, yeah.
For people who sleep with comedians.
What did KB say the wrestling thing was?
Singlet chasers.
Singlet chasers. Singlet Chasers.
And Nick called
the graphic design whores
the Logos?
Yeah.
That was a good ass podcast, boys.
Yeah, that was a funny episode.
Is that the latest episode
of Son of a Boy Dad?
Yes, it is.
Go listen.
Just kidding.
Don't go listen to this.
What about,
what would it be for bloggers?
Didn't we talk about that?
Whores?
I don't know.
Ugly girls.
Oh, sorry.
Perank, five?
Number five, I would give an ability of an upset guaranteed rate field.
Wow.
That's Chicago White Sox.
Yes.
Now, why is that an upset?
I guess it's not that new.
It's not that nice.
Yeah.
What was good about it?
It's improved a lot. It's got that nice. Yeah, what was good about it? Dave improved a lot.
It's got a great atmosphere and that electric scoreboard.
The exploding scoreboard is just...
Well, I'm pretty sure all stadiums have an electric scoreboard.
They were the first.
I think the White Sox have one of the better fan bases.
You think?
Yeah.
Even led by White Sox Dave?
That caveman?
Yeah.
The White Sox are a team that I often forget about.
Yeah. How so? man yeah the white socks are a team that i often forget about yeah how so i just like forget they're a baseball team okay i feel like you don't remember no but i know how many baseball teams do you remember right now how many could you name
i have no idea but like the white socks are one like everyone else every other one i hear i'm like
oh that makes sense but then i hear about the white socks you know what you know what's weird
they also remind me of the
LA Kings in hockey.
Really? Yeah, I think it's something with the
I don't know. Every time I hear those teams
I'm like, how did I forget that they exist?
Raiders? I don't know.
I don't even know what that is.
Las Vegas Raiders, the Oakland Raiders
used to be the football team.
He was going by color scheme is what he was doing.
Yeah, I don't know anything about football. gotcha america and detroit is really nice too oh i'm sorry avery
were we doing your list yeah i was saying it i noticed that you said it uh but i i just don't
know if we were doing your list of frank's list okay um i've been to the dodgers stadium i remember
you know what they call that?
Dodger Stadium.
Mm-hmm.
I was walking up the stairs, and Milton Bradley hit a home run as I saw the field.
It was serendipitous.
Oh, so that's just a beautiful scene.
It was a good memory I had as a child.
Just very green grass.
Yeah.
I've never been to Dodger Stadium.
I've never been west of Dallas, Texas.
Frank, number six?
Number six, I'm going by fuzzy memories, Fenway Park.
Wow.
When did you go?
When did you go?
Really tight seats.
1983.
It is a tight park.
Oh, so you would have been seven?
Yes.
Ah, bam.
I know my Frank. That's a long time ago.
I felt too big for the seats.
Yeah, I...
Sorry, that sounded weird
that was like a tick that didn't that didn't feel right um when i went to fenway park i was always
what was i don't know i was trying to say i I went to Fenway,
it was always when I was really young,
and I always didn't like it, I think,
because I was young and I had to go to my parents.
It was always hot as fuck,
and I just was miserable.
I think the first time I've been to a baseball...
I went to Wrigley a couple months ago, and that was super fun.
And then that's why I wanted to go to the Yankees game too.
But I think it's just like when you get older, you start to appreciate it more.
But I want to go back to Fenway.
So you have it at six.
I mean, that's pretty low.
Well, maybe I didn't need to see it again.
It's changed a lot since 1983.
Yeah, for sure. I remember sitting there, and I was seven years old and fascinated by people climbing up the Green Monster to get foul balls and home runs when I hit up there.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Now, of course, they have the seats up there.
Yeah.
Would you be comfortable sitting on top of the Monster?
I probably would not want to sit up on the Monster.
I think I would.
So what, is it 34 feet up?
I guess it's not that big.
It's not like you're going to fall off.
You're not going to fall off,
but you have the illusion that you're going to fall off.
People definitely have, right?
I would hope so.
Someone's probably jumped off of it.
Killing yourself in public is kind of weird.
I don't think jumping off Fenway,
the monster's going to kill you, though.
No, you wouldn't.
I was more talking about the vessel.
We talk about that a lot.
You guys should go to Fenway.
I mean, Fenway is not far.
Four-hour train ride.
I am actually contemplating going to Fenway Park in September
to watch the Mets' misery tour.
Well, that'd be an awesome trip.
It'd be fun.
Brandon, why don't you go too?
I need to go.
The Mets have two games in Fenway in September.
That'd be a beautiful trip.
That'd be awesome.
Just a quick train ride up there.
Get in.
Yeah, the Amtrak's easy.
And I bet somebody, like Dan hooked you up at Wrigley,
I'm sure we could get you hooked up at Fenway.
Well, me and Doug are both talking
about going up
to Fenway
for those two games
in September.
He goes to a lot of games. Let's see.
I noticed you looking at the prep sheet.
Yeah, I'm seeing if we got anything good.
This was a long prep sheet.
Long prep sheet.
All right.
I'm going to ask the first question.
Let's just run through top to bottom.
I was going to go bottom to top.
Have we finished my countdown yet?
Oh, we haven't.
No, but we've got to save it for the show.
Yeah, I was stretching your countdown out.
If you want to go ahead and finish it, we can.
No, I think we should end with the last one.
Yeah.
Okay.
We should have went reverse order.
We should have went reverse.
That was really dumb. Damn. What meal We should have went reverse order, though. That was
really dumb. Damn.
What meal do you eat the most in your rotation?
Frank, what meal do you eat the most in your rotation?
Well, my rotation's
changing, so it's kind of a little difficult right now.
One of the
meals I would eat a lot would be
bologna steaks, which are like these
sandwich-type steaks.
Right.
And hamburger helper, and Iaks right uh and hamburger helper
and I actually haven't had
hamburger helper now
in uh
two months
I love hamburger helper
so fucking much
you know I actually
it's so good
I actually uh
make my hamburger helper
a little extra special
by adding some uh
gravy master to it
ooh
so you over help
yeah
that sounds really good
I over help the helper
did you just over
like you got sick of it
a little bit
you know uh just don't have the time yeah for hamburger helper That sounds really good. I over helped a helper. Did you just over, like, you got sick of it a little bit?
You know, I just don't have the time.
Yeah.
For Hamburger Helper?
I just, just.
Okay, that's fine.
My, you know, I grew up very poor.
And my mom couldn't afford daycare for me.
So, at six years old, I was staying home by myself.
And she would wake up in the morning before she went to work and make a big pot of Hamburger Helper. I just ate it the rest of the day. Delicious. That sounds awesome. Memories. Yeah. Highly illegal, I was staying home by myself. She would wake up in the morning before she went to work and make a big pot of hamburger heifer. I just ate it the rest of the day. Delicious. That sounds awesome.
Memories. Highly illegal, I'm sure.
I should have had somebody staying with me.
Probably could have been.
The neighbor only raped me once.
Otherwise, it was a good experience.
He's dead now, though.
Let's see. Frank, number seven?
Number seven
would be
Shea Stadium.
I noticed you didn't have the heart to put that number nine.
No.
It wouldn't have been number nine anyway.
Oh, I'm anxious.
Now, you know what?
I'm glad we were finishing on the last one, the bad one,
because it's going to be a good.
We're going to find out who he really hates.
No spoilers, Frank.
What meal in your rotation do you eat the most?
I grill steaks.
I grill ribeye steaks every Sunday night.
Yeah, that's the only thing I make for myself.
Like, if I'm cooking, I make a steak and vegetables.
I wish I had a grill in my backyard.
It sucks.
I don't have one.
Have you not moved out yet?
I can't find a place.
The housing market sucks.
I think it's going to get good again if we have to lock down.
I think it's circling back around.
I think it's about to get better.
Yeah.
I don't think after September. I don't think we're locking down again, though. Yeah, there's no way. I if we have to lock down. I think it's circling back around. I think it's about to get better. Yeah. I don't think after September
we're locking down again.
Yeah, there's no way.
I hope we do a little bit.
You don't want to lock down.
No, not fully, but like...
Well, you know,
there are people that actually
literally enthusiastically
want to lock down.
The libs, dude.
You're just tired of people
coming back to the city.
There's no way
we're having a lockdown again.
70% of New York is vaccinated
Rank these childhood candies
Fruit by the foot, fruit roll-up, gushers, or fruit snacks
Wow
I don't know if those are childhood candies
Because I think I've actually started eating those now
You're absolutely still a child
I had two fruit by the foots in bed last night
We have them in the snack room
Two feet of fruit last night I We have them in the snack room.
Two feet of fruit last night.
I have one a day at least.
I would say in that order.
I'd say by the foot, roll up, Gushers, fruit snacks.
All right, I'm going to speak on behalf of Frank here because I think Gushers is something that came on after we were children.
Gushers is a relatively new candy in the world.
I'd say the last 20 years is when we got Gushers. Do you remember Gushers as a kid? No, I don't. I don't either. I don't remember Gushers is a relatively new candy in the world. I'd say the last 20 years is when we got Gushers.
Do you remember Gushers as a kid?
No, I don't.
I don't either.
I don't remember Gushers.
I remember Fruit Snacks is a lazy one to put there at the end, isn't it?
Yeah, those aren't good.
It's just like generic.
I can say this.
I like Scooby Snacks.
I really don't like any of those four.
You don't like Fruit by the Foot, Fruit Roll-Up, any of that?
No.
I don't either, Frank, to be honest.
What do you do for candy?
Do you like chocolate?
I just like candy.
Yeah, a Milky Way bar, a Crayon Mallow, Three Musketeers.
So chocolate.
And if you want to go, those are candy bars.
Yeah, Owen.
Yeah, I was saying like chocolate versus gummy.
Gummy-wise, the only thing I might like close to gummies are Starburst.
See, I'm a big gummy guy.
Best flavor?
Orange.
Pink.
Worst?
You know, red.
I actually like the red.
No, red's the best.
Red?
Red's not the best.
Pink is the best Starburst.
Red, pink, orange, yellow.
No, you can't rank. Nothing's over pink Starburst. Red? Red's not the best. Pink is the best Starburst. Red, pink, orange, yellow. No, you can't rank.
Nothing's over pink Starburst.
Red and pink are basically the exact same.
They're not.
You know, I think the pink actually might be the worst.
Oh, this is hot.
You can't tell me pink Starburst is the worst Starburst.
Well, they're all good.
Fuck you, Fleming.
Fuck you, Fleming.
But I like orange, red, and yellow better.
Orange first is crazy.
I think orange is second.
I go pink, orange, red, yellow.
That's where I go on Starburst.
I'm going red first, then pink, and then orange, then yellow.
Actually, then yellow, then orange.
You said same to both of his.
He changed it, and you still said same.
I agree with whatever he said.
That yellow, that lemon,
it just hits
right.
I don't know, man.
I kind of agree. There's some candies
where people don't like. I think the green apple
Jolly Rancher is the best
Jolly Rancher.
I think I agree with that, too.
It's good. Something they do with that. They hit apple the best.lly rancher i think i agree with that too it's good yeah they something they
do with that they hit apple the best that thing made does that make you cough no no it makes me
cough like crazy i'm a man green apple jolly ranchers really that's a weird reaction to a
jolly rancher no but i think it's like a thing like i i think i googled it and other people
had it too really oh i didn't know that there was a bunch of coffin going around.
It's like it makes my lungs feel cold.
I don't even know.
It makes them feel weird.
That's weird.
That is weird.
All right, how about Skittles, then?
Every Skittles you're just having handfuls. I don't even like Skittles.
I'm not eating one flavor at a time.
I am.
I'm trying to stack the reds.
I would never go out and pick and buy Skittles.
Am I crazy here, stacking the reds? I used to like sour Skittles. Am I crazy here? Stacking the Reds?
I used to like sour Skittles.
No, you grab a handful and eat them.
Yes.
No, you don't go flavor at a time?
I do flavor at a time.
No.
Oh, I'm sorry, Frank.
Fuck.
Do you guys fuck with Skittle or Starburst alternatives like Mamba or Haichu?
Oh, Haichu is very good.
Haichu is really good.
Unreal texture.
Yeah, I've never had mamba, though.
That almost dropped a dad joke on you, but I stopped it.
No, do it.
I stopped it, no.
Haichu's great.
You thought a haichu was what?
A Japanese poem.
I think it is a Japanese candy, right?
No.
Yeah.
Why is it in English?
What's up, Tito?
I don't know, but it's not.
It's like a.
Jay, will you look it up?
You said it's made by Starburst.
Is it?
Haichu made by Starburst?
It's made by Starburst?
No, I don't think so.
No, isn't it a Japanese candy?
Oh, yes, definitely.
It's a Japanese candy.
Oh, yeah, it is Japanese.
But it's like pretty mainstream.
Oh, I thought you were saying Starburst made those two.
No, no, no.
Frank, I know that you value your spot on the Dozen Trivia with Frank and the Frankettes.
You're very competitive like I am.
I'm just going to, spoiler alert coming within about 30 seconds.
Today I played, if you don't want to hear a spoiler, go ahead and ease off.
Turn it down for a couple minutes, turn it back up.
I played today, the experts did did and we played against a new team
of Joey Molinaro, Duggs,
and Chris Castellani.
And Chris Castellani whipped
my fucking ass.
Beat the shit out of me.
Came into my house and
absolutely took over. Fucked my wife.
Beat my kids. Did everything.
Chris Castellani is the best
trivia player in the Dozen universe right now.
You need to pay attention.
You need to focus up.
Because he's coming.
He's coming.
Well, we'll see.
Okay.
All right.
I like this.
You know, a lot of times, Sid,
the questions just hit you right.
They do.
You could have a good day.
You could have a bad day.
I was terrible yesterday.
The worst that I've ever had.
The worst performance ever.
But I'm still LeBron James on my team.
Are you really going to step away from the game for a bit?
I am.
I believe I'm taking a hiatus.
It's just I think the game is better.
The game has evolved.
It needs more teams.
So I'm stepping down a little bit.
Me and Sass have a team.
Really?
Who's your teammate?
RDT.
The Orioles guy?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
When are you guys getting in the game?
I'm not sure.
We still need a name.
Do you have anything?
No.
Frank?
Let's see.
Whatever you say, I will do as the name.
Owen, Sass, and RDT.
RDT? Mm-hmm. Andass, and RDT. RDT.
And S.
Let's see.
The Oars.
I take it back.
I might not even say it.
I don't hate it.
The Oars.
The Oars.
O-R-S?
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay.
And have like a D-D-A.
I don't like being the first name.
Oh, you want to be Soar then?
We could do the Rose.
It'd be Rose.
Soar.
That could work.
The Soar.
Yeah, like the Miami Heat.
Just be the Soar.
And be like a boil or something.
Some sort of rising.
Team Soar.
Team Soar.
Maybe. We'll work on it. We'll work on it.
We'll work on it a little bit.
I like it. Let's see.
Stephen Cheney.
These questions today are all over the place.
I like this one. I know you guys need some
talking points. What city has the best climate in the
USA? Stephen, we'll lead with you.
It's easily San Diego.
San Diego, California.
That's a universal opinion It's easily San Diego. Yes, it's San Diego. Isn't that like an objective fact?
That's a universal opinion.
Everyone says San Diego.
I mean, it rains like maybe at most 20 days a year, and literally like 300 times, it's
300 days a year.
It's like 78 and sunny.
Yeah.
Now, do you need rain?
Are you somebody that if you were there and it only rained 20 days a year,'re like i kind of missed the rain i might be yeah isn't it like 57 to 72 just like
every day i knew your climate sucks i think it's uh i i think it's like yeah well he said i think
it's like 60 to 78 or something yeah uh it's the most temperate city in america it's it's very
consistent i did a week there my dad had like a business trip and he just
brought uh me and my buddy we were little you're being awful bread bully today well no but we
didn't do anything we just stayed at uh some water park and they only had one ride but we rode it all
day every day for a week that it was awesome awesome yeah because we didn't get sick of it
we were like because when you're a kid you will do the same thing over and over and over and over again.
There's nobody there.
It was like off season.
Like if I take my kids to a park
and they see one ride they like,
they will want to do that ride.
Yeah.
And they won't want to do anything else.
But like parks now,
you can't do that.
Like it's a two hour wait every time.
Yeah.
You could ride it like three times.
Yeah.
Because of people.
It comes back to like your thing.
Yeah, there's too many of them.
Too many people.
Could have used a few more.
Brandon, what did you do for your bachelor party?
It was November 4, 2006, and we watched a Mississippi State Alabama game at 1130,
and then we went and played 18 holes of golf at the Highland Plantation Golf Course,
and then we went back to my buddy Dr. Ned Miller's house,
and we played poker until about 10, and I was asleep by 10.30.
That sounds awesome.
Yeah.
So we were not really titty guys or stripper guys or drinking guys or money guys.
We just liked to play golf together, so we played golf.
Nice.
Huh.
What are you going to do for years, Zass?
I have no idea.
Probably something similar.
Yeah, that sounds good, honestly.
Just golf and poker.
As a gambling guy, I kind of want to set an over-under for when you're going to fuck that nine.
You think it's within three years?
No.
I don't know.
I have no idea.
September, let's see, August of 2024.
I think you will have fucked a nine by then.
That's my prediction for you.
Brother, he is fucking nines.
No, I'm not.
Well, then my prediction is right.
For my bachelor party, I want to...
I don't know if I would want to golf.
I think I'm kind of golfed out in life.
I feel like you would like maybe a hike or something.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
National park-ish.
I just feel like golfing is such a good activity
to get your friend group together one last time, right?
Yeah.
Get your friend group together.
You get your six guys together.
I don't like 18, though.
Like 12 is good.
Yeah, by 15, you're all spaced out.
Like I want more than nine, but not 18, you know?
Yeah, but at 12, you're like in the middle of the back nine.
No, I know.
You have that awkward drive back on the cart.
I'm saying a 12-hole course would be ideal.
There should be more choices for course lengths.
You're right.
Yeah, and instead of just a par three,
I would love a course all par fours,
and it's 12 holes.
No fives.
A par four.
Par three courses are very fun,
because every single tee off,
you're like,
oh, am I going to get a home one here?
Never do, but it's fun.
I love par three courses as well.
Frank, number eight.
New Yankee Stadium.
New Yankee Stadium ranks well below old Yankee Stadium.
Yes.
What'd they fuck up?
Everything.
Oh, wow.
They built a stadium.
They built a new stadium, and they tried to make it look like the old stadium,
the classical stadium before the renovations.
And they got that part right.
But they seemed more concerned about impressing the corporate people that come to stadiums they have like uh big walls that like separate the uh
the uh the hoity-toity from the uh the plebes well i love that as a hoity-toity myself i don't
want to be around the concessions are are terrible limited not good concessions the staff is rude
i mean all right now we've opened opened ourselves up to a second question here.
In all your stadium travels, nine now, what is the best concession,
what's the best piece of food you've had at any of these stadiums?
The Pat LaFrieda steak at Citi Field.
Oh, back home, huh?
When we went to that game with Roan, it was just –
he's just like such – he's like the craziest person I've ever met.
Yeah. He has no fear about it no he i think i think he was like trying to like get his like he ordered like a bunch of beers and like peanuts and he was like it like he paid and like his card
was accepted and then he was like oh did it go through and they were like yeah and then he like
waited for like 15 minutes like pretending like he claimed he was checking his bank account to see if it went through.
And like me and Owen were talking about the other day.
We're like,
I think he was just trying to get it for free.
Like,
why would you assume that it didn't go through when it got accepted?
Yeah,
that is an odd reaction.
And then he's just like,
he talks to everyone that he walks by.
And then he posted a tweet the other day.
Who is the guy?
Who is the coach from Penn state?
The rapist
he said that he was on his honeymoon he was in the hot tub and some guy got in he's like
does anyone ever told you you look like sandusky yeah i have no doubt i said that as well no no
100 the most charming person ever and he like sees what he could get away with yeah
yeah yeah he really can and he's at ease in any situation.
Yeah.
Any situation that would just throw me asunder,
he just walks right into it.
Oh, yeah, 100%.
We were going to meet him at this bar close to Yankee Stadium,
and we were like an hour late.
And we got there, and he's just hanging out by himself,
talking to a bunch of random people.
Yeah, that guy is something else.
If I had two full years to train, I could not medal in any Olympic event.
No, most people – I don't think anyone could.
Nobody, no.
Because all these are legit top athletes that are –
They've been training for 20 years.
Have you seen the new Olympic –
The wall climbing?
The speed wall climbing?
Even that, no.
I mean...
I mean, I feel like if you're already like a very...
Skilled wall climber?
No, skilled athlete.
Yeah.
Probably translate over into something.
I mean, we have wall climbing.
We have skateboarding.
I mean, what's next?
If KB trained to do the wall climbing.
Wait, hold on.
What's next?
What's next?
What's next?
Hopscotch? You see what you almost fucking did? If KB trained to do the wall climbing... What's next? What's next?
Hopscotch?
You see what you almost fucking did?
I feel like if KB trained to do the wall climbing, he could medal in that.
I feel like he might be able to do it now.
When he scaled that thing, that was crazy.
I mean, him walking on his hands is already crazy.
Were you here when he scaled the... No, I wasn't.
He was a really good athlete.
I don't think any of us were.
Now, I do think there are some sports in the Olympics
that are lucky.
The athletes in those sports are lucky
that other sports exist.
It takes the super athletes.
I think if a track star wanted to just be...
A European track star wanted to play field hockey,
that'd be easy peasy.
Yeah.
I feel like a lot of the sports, too,
it's like some of them, it's like...
Well, well,
clearly you have to have like come,
came from money if you want to like train for whatever this sport is.
Frank,
are you an Olympics guy?
I have,
I,
most years I am.
I just have just had just,
it's just so difficult to get into this Olympics.
Well,
NBC hasn't done a great job of giving you something and making you want to care about it or anything. I mean,
they did. They're putting a lot of shit behind the paywall on Peacock,
which I had. I mean, I got a lot of streaming services
yet. I don't know if I want to get Peacock.
Peacock sucks. Peacock fucking stinks.
I have to have it because WWE
Network is on there, but it fucking stinks.
But if you do want WWE Network, get Peacock.
The streaming services are just so dumb
because now it's just back to channels.
It's circled all the way back. We have too many choices now and it now it's just back to channels. It's circled all the way back.
We have too many choices now and it's all the way back to channels.
Now you just pay for each channel individually.
The South Park shit, did you see the contract?
Oh, they got a huge contract.
900 million?
Yeah, but where?
Well, first of all, I think obviously 900 million is a fuck ton of money, but 14 movies?
Yeah.
That's like reasonable.
Like maybe not even reasonable.
I mean, they'll make their money.
I don't think cartoon movies are as expensive as paying actors and stuff.
But $900 million for 14 movies.
And speaking of streaming services, I can't wait for Stranger Things Season 4 at the nursing home.
I've never watched Stranger Things.
Have you watched it?
Yes.
Do you like it?
I guess if you watched it, you did like it.
It's very good.
I need to watch one of those.
Do you watch Outer Banks, Frank?
No.
I know Big Cat's doing that now.
Yeah, I've been watching it.
All right, the weed has been fired up in the lobby.
That is a large blunt.
That is a large blunt. That is...
That's a stick right there.
I guess they're with Tico?
Yeah, that's fun.
Yeah, that is fun.
You're right.
Fun.
Let's get through these questions real quick.
How early is too early to eat lunch?
I was here one day, Bickett ate it at 9.30.
I think it's crazy.
That's too early.
I'd say the earliest
11 to 1 is lunch
Yeah, I agree with that
11 to 1, 11 to 2
I think you eat at 11
I'm on like one big meal a day
I don't know how you do that, how you have the discipline
I don't get hungry until like the afternoon
I don't eat when I get hungry, I eat when it's time to eat
I get like distracted
And I don't eat, and then like yesterday I was going to do this open mic and I was like, oh, I have literally
eaten nothing today.
And then I had to stop at a deli.
Let's see.
How many hours of video games do you currently play per day?
Zero.
Fleming, I'm assuming you're at zero.
Zero.
Okay.
You're at zero right now?
Yeah.
My PlayStation got stolen.
I don't have anything.
Oh, that's rough.
I set up a TV in my room yesterday.
I have a Switch at the house.
I feel like you would use it more than I.
I have no reason to use it.
I don't have anything to play on it.
What is the worst accessory a guy can wear?
Probably a gold bracelet.
I like that he's the one that asked the question
and he's the one that answered the question.
I'm not wearing the gold bracelet anymore, Stephen.
I stopped wearing it.
I don't think anything.
I think I should wear more accessories.
Did I tell you guys that my wife came to me
and was like, why did you wear that?
Yeah.
She said, why did you wear that?
I said, well, you got it for me.
And she said, yeah, but I don't have good taste in this stuff.
And then it was like, it was my fault
that I was wearing the damn thing.
I liked it.
And now she just has mine.
It was just loose.
It was Nick's loose.
Here's the worst accessory a man can wear.
Yep.
An ascot.
Hard disagree.
I don't know that I even would know where to get an ascot.
Maybe Hermes?
I don't know.
An ascot.
What is an ascot?
Is that a hat?
No, it's like...
No, it's the little scarf you tuck into the...
Like a kerchief?
Yeah.
Into a collared shirt.
Oh, yeah, okay.
You know what rule? Bolo ties. Bolo. Yeah, those are the little scarf you tuck into the... Like a kerchief? Yeah. Into a collared shirt. Oh, yeah, okay. You know what rule?
Bolo ties.
Bolo.
Yeah, those are the rope ties, right?
The little black rope ties?
Those are awesome.
Those are bad.
Accessory.
Bow ties stink.
Bow ties. Bow ties are bad?
The guy who wears a bow tie, like, I don't know, thinks it's hilarious.
He wants to be a bow tie guy, yeah.
Yeah.
That's an ascot?
Yeah, that's pretty bad. That's a tux. Yeah. That's an ascot? Yeah, that's pretty bad.
That's a rough face.
Show what you look like.
Didn't I look like him?
Fred from Scooby-Doo had an ascot.
Ah, yes.
He sure did.
The white shirt and the blue ascot.
Okay, yeah.
I like that.
Let's see.
Is Yoo-Hoo chocolate drink good or disgusting, Frank?
It's okay. Let's see. Is Yoohoo chocolate drink good or disgusting, Frank? It's okay.
It's okay.
I wouldn't say it's disgusting.
I wouldn't say it's good.
I mean, it's almost like artificial chocolate.
Well, it's chocolate water, not chocolate milk, right?
Yeah, basically.
Ew.
And you know who used to do commercials for Yoohoo?
Yogi Berra. Really? Really. I didn't know that. Yeah, basically And you know who used to do commercials for YouHoo?
Yogi Berra Really?
Really
I didn't know that
Is he related to Yogi Berra?
Mm-hmm
Some think he's named after him
I like Vanilla Nesquik
I didn't know they made
There he is
Oh, the red-ass guy
Excuse me
The blue collar
That's Fred from Scooby-Doo
I never got into Scooby-Doo, i never never really did anything for were you a
he-man guy no i was a scooby-doo guy okay well okay you're a little you predate he-man a little
bit just a little bit i came in right at the height of he-man like 82 83 and you oh i'm sorry
wow we haven't even fucking i'm sorry Okay here we go No we have
At least two more questions
Than the other
And of course
I have to reveal number nine
Yeah we gotta get to number nine
For sure
If you have thirty dollars
To go to the grocery store
And assemble a meal
To make for yourself
What are you buying?
We'll go down the line
Start with Frank
Thirty dollars
Thirty dollars
I'm buying hamburger
You're gonna have like Twenty six dollars left I I'm buying Hamburger Helper.
You're going to have like $26 left.
You buy Hamburger Helper, you buy a can of green beans, and not only that, if you're leaving alone,
you get leftover Hamburger Helper to eat like a day or two later.
What's your go-to Hamburger Helper?
The beef pasta.
Okay.
I like the stroganoff.
All right. Let's see. helper? The beef pasta. Okay. I like the stroganoff. Alright.
Let's see. I would go...
I'm going...
I don't know.
I'd grab a ribeye and a bushel
of asparagus. I would grab a ribeye
and a sack of potatoes.
I would make either homemade french fries or a baked potato.
I would probably do
cocktail shrimp.
I was going to say sushi.
Yeah, I think I just...
You're going to make your own sushi?
It literally says make your own.
Make your own?
It said go to the grocery store and make a meal.
It says assemble a meal you'll make for yourself.
Oh, that's not assembling.
No, that you'll make for yourself, it says.
Oh, okay.
Well, then I would do...
The grocery store by us does have good sushi.
They have really good sushi sushi and it's cheap.
I would probably do a steak.
What kind of grocery is it?
It's an Amish market.
Amish market?
The Amish, they know how to do it.
They know how to do sushi.
They have the freshest fish in...
In New York.
In PA.
When I think of sushi, I think of Amland.
I don't really have a go-to meal.
I always just make chicken or I make a meat and then rice and veggies. There you go. But I don't really have a go-to meal. I always just make chicken or I make a meat and then rice and veggies.
There you go.
But I don't enjoy it ever.
Yeah, you make bad chicken.
Yeah, I don't know what the actual best meal is.
You season your chicken in the pan, which frustrates me incredibly.
No, I don't do that.
What?
I did that once accidentally because we didn't have a cutting board forever.
Steven Che, I assume since you asked the the question you have an answer ready to go 30
dollars for a meal at the grocery store go uh new york strip steak potato red onion that's it what
does the red onion do maybe some broccoli to caramelize that up yeah i like to kind of yeah
i guess i would probably just i mean i think the best answer is steak, potato, and a green. See, when I go with a steak accompaniment, Stephen, I get a mushroom.
Ugh.
I like mushrooms.
Mushrooms and squash and any type of squash are the two foods that I cannot eat.
Squash is wonderful.
Oh, and zucchini.
Just squash.
Those three.
I can eat most things, those three.
When I used to go downstairs and smell my mom cooking mushrooms,
I would have to leave the house because I can't.
The texture.
You would go to open mics.
Yeah.
No, I think I would just go back up to my room.
All right, Frank.
Before we get to number nine, let's go back a little bit.
Number one was Wrigley Field.
Yes.
Number two was PNC Park. Yes. Number two was PNC Park. Yes. Number
three was Old Yankee Stadium.
Was it
Fenway? It was Old Yankee Stadium.
Yes. Number four
was City Field. Yes.
Number five was Fenway. Yes.
Number six was
New Yankee Stadium?
Shea Stadium. Shea Stadium.
Are we missing something? No, no. Wait a second here.
We're missing the White Sox?
We're missing the White Sox.
Number one.
Five was guaranteed right.
Yes.
Yes.
Six was Fenway.
Fenway, yes.
Seven was Old Yankee Stadium.
Old Yankee Stadium.
Eight was Shea.
And that sets up.
No, seven was.
Seven was new.
No, seven was Shea.
Eight was New Yankee Stadium.
Yes.
Fair enough.
And number nine.
The worst stadium.
Tropicana Field. Oh. What was it? New Yankee Stadium. Yes. Fair enough. And number nine. The worst stadium ever.
Oh.
What was it?
I ruined it.
Tropicana Field.
Oh.
You went to that earlier this year too, right? Yes.
What's wrong with it?
Everything.
It's got all the, it's literally like they're playing baseball inside of a Costco.
Yeah.
Just how empty it feels?
Just
they got these catwalks hanging from the ceiling
of a
roof that's slanted.
You know what nobody says
about Tropicana Field that is
absolutely true? First of all, inside it's terrible.
It has the white roof. The walls get lost.
It's bad. They don't fill it.
But on the outside, it's absolutely crooked.
It looks crooked.
Yeah, it looks like a spaceship landed in the middle of St. Petersburg.
It looks like it is deflated is what it looks like.
It's not a good-looking building.
It is a terrible stadium.
You walk around the concourse, and it's got like a –
you're almost like you feel like you're walking into a basement of a dungeon.
Yeah.
There's nothing good about Tropicana Field.
So those are the nine you've hit. Yes. Number ten, where do you want to go next?
Great question, Owen.
Maybe Philadelphia since it's close.
That could be one that could be done early.
But I want to hit them all eventually.
That's a great
idea for
just getting out there and content
maybe.
I've written a review about Tropicana Field.
I've written a review about New Yankee Stadium this year,
so I guess I'll try to do eventually reviews about everyone else.
I shot hot dog reviews of all three.
Nice.
That's fantastic.
Did you do Portillo's, I imagine?
I know you've done it, but did you do it again?
Oh, yeah, coming soon.
Nice, nice.
Maybe not spoil everything, Owen.
Well, it's a tease.
That's a good tease.
Owen, you want to knock us out of here?
Get us done?
We're finished?
We'll let Frank do it.
It's Tank Thursday.
Frank, Tank Thursday.
If you want to eat Tank Thursday, take us home, baby.
Feebly.
Feebly.
Feebly.
Leave the bases loaded twice in the game.
Michael Cano for it is a shame.
Fee-ba-lee.
Yes, the Mets are losing 1-0, and that's probably going to be the final.
They'll probably be out there 7-1, nothing lost this year.
Thank you.