The Yak - Frank The Tank DISRESPECTS Beloved Employee | Thu Feb 24, 2022
Episode Date: February 24, 2022The BoyYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
It's the Yak. It's the motherfucking yak.
And if you're watching from your fucking cube,
I want you to stand the fuck up,
and I want you to make some noise.
Because we don't do this for us.
We do this so you sad motherfuckers
can get through your fucking day.
Come on, come eat your slop.
I've said it once, I'll say it again.
Come on.
Come on. Come on. slop. I've said it once. I'll say it again. Come on. Come on.
Come on.
Eat up.
Come on.
Slop.
Grow strong.
Don't you want your canister of cockroaches?
We're about to get wacky today.
Today is barbiturate Thursday.
Barbiturate Thursday.
Let's get sleepy, boys.
Let's get real sleepy.
What's a barbiturate?
We're going to have our first ever nod off off.
And I'm going to win.
I've seen a lot.
You don't know how to nod off.
I don't.
My tolerance is sky high.
I'm just always alert.
Hey, let's get this guy in here.
Let's get to Robinson.
What up, Dunk?
What up, Big Dunk?
All right, bro.
Hey, man.
Catch you later.
Just that casual peace sign to me made me realize how much he fucks with me.
Oh, yeah.
He fucks with you heavy.
Now, blind knowledge, he was like a D3 player who transferred to Michigan.
That's blind knowledge?
Am I right?
What's blind knowledge?
I don't know how he got to Michigan Michigan but I know he's on the Miami Heat
and I know he's ugly for the NBA
it's common to me
when did you read his Wikipedia
I'm obsessed
with the NBA
you and fucking
you and Nick are the biggest sports
nerds in this fucking company
Nick actually knows sports.
And so do you, dude.
I don't.
I do.
I fucking do.
Yes, you fucking do.
I'm going to torpedo you pussies with the fucking knowledge that you actually love.
Motherfucker.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh.
Uh-oh.
Try to keep up with him.
The tech just isn't there.
Pump, pump, pump.
You guys hear about this war?
Yeah.
Tell me about it.
All we've been talking about.
Two minutes late.
Three minutes late.
Sorry.
Four minutes late, actually.
Billy's got to be so excited.
Yeah, Billy.
It's time to trade it all.
He was like, I literally can't even make jokes.
And then like three minutes later, he started popping off jokes.
Owen had a good-ass Billy joke. Yeah, three minutes later, you start popping off jokes. Owen had a good ass Billy joke.
Yeah, he did.
The Walmart thing.
Yeah.
That was real.
Going off.
I've seen the original picture and for some reason I still thought it was real.
I saw the picture.
Yeah, what was it?
You photoshopped it?
Yeah.
It was just Billy getting a salute in like a Home Depot.
You're getting way too good at Photoshop.
Yeah, you are.
It's a Photoshop pro. Someone take that shit away. It looked very real. You're getting way too good at Photoshop. Yeah, you are. It's a Photoshop pro.
Someone take that shit away.
That looked very real.
You're just stepping up and doing more.
Oh, and I appreciate that about you.
You're just like finding another thing.
Owen never does.
Learn how to edit.
He's always doing the most.
He learned how to edit.
He learns how to produce.
And the thing is, what I love about Owen, he doesn't get paid anymore.
He's still getting paid for Sportsbook Social.
And that's okay with us.
I've never really had a
problem with it.
How was the meeting?
Yeah, what did you guys think? Because we're getting
more people for the act.
Sounds like we're not. No, it sounds like we are.
They said, didn't they say
that we all need to start promoting our
pajamas? I think we're getting somebody to clip everything, right? They said Didn't they say That we all need To start promoting Our We need to start Promoting our Pajamas
I think we're getting
Like somebody
To clip everything
Right
Yeah
Tyler Miller's
Doing that now
Yeah
He's lanky
But also yeah
Everyone should
Did you guys feel that
When he said that
No one promotes it
Isn't that part of the
Charm of the
Yeah there's a
I think there's a way
You guys love this
You love to spin it
We just you know Big Cat promotes it I think the most Like the fans Are... You guys love this. You love to spin it.
We just, you know... Big Cat promotes it.
I think the most likely fans are the ones that are like,
oh, I can't believe I found this.
Yeah, right.
You have some pride in that.
They tripped over it.
They tripped over the yak.
And they're like, oh, shit.
Here's my mindset.
If we're all doing it at once,
everyone pretty much follows all of us.
If they follow me, they definitely follow you.
So it's just...
Facts mean you. Nothing bothers me more than
spam. We are just in your Venn diagram.
We're not even Venn. I'm going to disagree
with that. I think spam is fine.
Especially on Twitter.
You think spam is bad, but it's not as bad
as like, it's like the old crying
baby. Like when you have a crying baby on
a plane, you think it's the worst. You
think that like everyone is so
mad at you, and there are some people that are mad
at you, but the majority of people can't even hear it.
Yeah, there's no downside. I'm just thinking.
Okay. Just trying to poke holes in it.
Listen, I have no qualms.
I tried to do promo today, and then I
accidentally tweeted it from the Yak.
Ah, shit. Try again tomorrow.
I'll try again tomorrow.
That's your lot of tweets.
I put in a good effort.
Anyone talking shit on me, I'm blocking you from the Yak account.
That's what I've been doing.
No, stop.
And you boys.
And you boys.
Oh, yeah, that was an accident, huh?
Oh, my God.
What the fuck?
Blind us?
Is that me and you?
That's a hot filter, I think.
I meant to tweet that from my account
What?
I meant to tweet it from my account
But I accidentally clicked the yak one instead
I like the jokes when you give yourself
Like a nice beard and a six pack
There's always land
Land for me
That's all I care about
The punchline is that you're much uglier
I posted one on Instagram
and everyone was like,
dude, where did this beard come from?
Like, people think it's real
because it's, like, further away.
KB's going to get murdered.
Yeah, I heard.
Wait, what?
I don't know.
There's a few people who've been...
You've been challenging people to fight.
Somebody showed up to the office yesterday.
Somebody showed up to the office
to fight you, Kyle.
Really?
Yes.
I think he's... It's all in good fun. He showed up to the office to fight you, Kyle. Really? Yes. I think he's all in good fun.
He showed up to your place of work after you challenged him to a fight.
How far did he get?
I didn't challenge him to a fight.
He challenged me to a fight.
I just asked him his height, weight, and bench.
Social Security.
So we can notify your parents when I fucking put you in a body bag
How big was he?
He's a small guy
That's why he challenged me to a fight
Oh that's worse
I only get challenged by big guys
He was kidding
And he made some jokes
I don't know what it
Don't do that
I had a guy try to fight me
Don't do that
Was it Axel?
No it wasn't Axel
He just hit me up though
I got dinner with him yesterday You split a box of Timbits Yeah Don't do that. Was it Axel? No, it wasn't Axel. He's hit me up, though.
I'll do it again.
You got dinner with him yesterday.
You split a box of Timbits.
Yeah.
You bought them.
Why would I have a steak when I could get a dollar slice?
He didn't want a dollar slice because the nutritional value in peanut butter is higher.
Oh, yeah.
Also, there's like no protein in peanut butter.
You know this guy that we had on?
I heard just in a fringe way about him.
It's wild.
I guess I've seen him on the algorithm,
but the algorithm doesn't really feed him to me that much.
What was your impression of him?
Well, we were a bunch of pussies.
Yeah, everybody talked shit behind his back.
I don't know.
And he came in and we were really nice.
Then he dunked on Owen,
and we didn't even have our baby boy's back.
You roasted Owen's ass. Ro roasted Owen's ass In what way?
Owen's like oh I think that song's from Secret Life of Walter Mitty
He's like oh really?
He's like no I don't think so
He's like no it's not
It's from her
And he was right
He didn't even mention this interaction in his daily TikTok yesterday
Probably because he watched the beforehand.
Yeah.
Of us being like, this guy's a fool.
When he gets in here, we're going to kick his ass.
Plus he's protecting that Samsung money.
That's true.
Don't want to be tied to us.
But what's his true story?
That he's actually rich as fuck?
Probably, yeah.
He's actually Saudi Arabian chic.
He has four million TikTok followers.
Great teeth for a poor boy.
Yeah, he's here for-
Great teeth, skin, perfectly messed up.
I mean, Brianna said that she pays her rent with the money she gets from TikTok.
Damn.
And she has three million less followers than he does.
That's still a million followers.
Yeah, I know.
Wow.
Yeah.
Brandon just...
You will see Brandon on TikTok tomorrow.
And also, she said that on Friday Night Pints.
I downloaded the app this morning.
Your lists are going to go crazy.
Yep, doing the list.
It's a list-centric platform.
Also, I'm leaving at 1.30, and it's not my fault.
Frank will be in here at 1.45.
It's Stephen Chay's fault.
He is a dickhead.
He's an asshole.
Why are you a dickhead and asshole?
No, I scheduled something with Brandon two weeks in advance.on you scheduled on my busy day to avoid his busy day his busy day is tomorrow and
he wouldn't reschedule his busy day he's he's take i have to go and record unnecessary roughness
uh this afternoon so i can go bowling we still do that yeah we yes you know that we are so mean
i like saying that that's one of the ones again the chopping block you still do that show
confirmed your availability for this date and time two weeks ago.
I take Stephen Chay.
The problem is two weeks shouldn't count.
Also, I reminded you last week.
Stephen Chay has come over to my desk every day this week trying to schedule something for the next two weeks.
So I take Stephen Chay's side on this.
He's a schedule.
Can you turn my headphones down, by the way?
I'll agree that scheduling something two weeks in advance is not fair.
It's not fair.
No, it is.
Not what I'm doing in two weeks.
I would typically agree with you, but Stephen Chay's been God lately.
Yeah, it's true.
He's just dominating people.
Yeah.
Okay, I will go ahead and say I'm going to go ahead and join the team.
You won the argument yesterday, Stephen Chay.
There we go.
All right, so we got Sass and Owen.
What was that?
You needed an opinion.
What was the argument?
I don't know the argument.
Summarize it from your perspective.
You have to ask and you're on Steve's side.
If there is a big political or world non-sports announcement
and Adam Schefter tweeted it and broke it.
Would you be surprised?
Like, for example.
No, no, no, no.
Would I be surprised?
The example was Russia.
No.
The example is a key part of the argument.
No, let him answer the question.
I would not be surprised.
Here it is.
He already won.
He won.
No, the argument was that Schefter announced that Ukraine was being invaded by Russia,
if he was the first person to break that news.
What do you mean?
The actual first person?
The actual first person.
If he tweeted it out, I wouldn't be surprised.
I don't think it'd be possible for him to be the first person.
Exactly.
Yeah, we said it wouldn't be possible for him to break it.
To be the first person.
And I texted Schefter.
Che literally thinks he genuinely, deep deep down thinks that he could.
It's like an eight-year situation.
Yeah.
Che believes Adam Schefter is God.
Yeah.
As far as connections.
I don't get breaking news in general.
What do you mean?
There's never just one person who knows way before anyone else.
Unless you're the person.
Unless you're like, confessing a murder is breaking news.
People whose job
is to break news,
how much ahead are they?
Not much at all.
Or sometimes very far.
Will that news get broken
regardless, like,
soon after?
No, not always.
Jeff, the media talks.
What the?
Democracy dies in the dark, bro.
If Schefter was gone,
people would still probably
break the news at the same time, right?
Not all of it.
A lot of disrespect to fellow short king Jay Glazer.
Don't move the mic when you're talking it.
A lot of disrespect to fellow short king Jay Glazer who breaks things weeks in advance sometimes.
KB, I haven't had lunch yet today.
Okay, I get that.
Has anyone reported that yet? I had the scoop. yet today. Okay, I get that.
Has anyone reported that yet?
I had the scoop.
Your ice cream scoop, so you couldn't eat it.
Damn.
Yeah, we spent too long yesterday debating that.
Steven is God.
40 minutes, actually.
I'm willing to do another 40.
Yeah, it was a fun debate.
Steven's mind is the greatest debating sparring partner of all time because you can't move him off.
You know what I mean?
He can't get knocked out.
And he has rational explanations for irrational things.
Correct, correct.
And irrational confidence in all of his opinions.
Yeah, he'll argue it to the death.
He is.
Maybe we should just hire Steven out for that.
Like a stump the Schwab type of thing.
Yeah.
Send Steven to Ukraine.
Yeah, it's like just argue against people.
Yeah.
Or like a college campus or some shit like that.
Like a little debate me booth.
Steve Crowder.
He's smiling right now.
He doesn't win by having a good argument.
He wins by not acknowledging your argument at all.
Correct.
That's winning.
That's also like what all those people do.
Yeah, that's actually genius.
Did we do the wet wheel yet? Yeah. No, we did i know we didn't it's a vengeful wheel all right go ahead tj we get a 3d wheel or some shit we've added a little
piece to it don't start too close did you add did you take out the dry from yesterday tj yeah it's
way bigger um the reset wheel just reset so the the deal now, Ron, is it's 20
spots, one wet, one reset,
18 dry, and
every day you take away something
except for the reset, obviously.
Is there a way to add like a taser element
or something like that or like
some kind of electric shock or something like that?
We tried. The technology is there.
Until the wheel is sold to a taser company.
I feel like a taser company could really sponsor this,
and we could just test it out a little bit.
I would rather get tased than get wet.
We're just not quite there yet.
We did sell the wheel to Roman, though,
so it's going to be a bust wheel next week.
Cookie wheel.
Before we spin the wheel,
how prepared are we for this draft tomorrow?
It feels like we're easy.
Oh, let's talk about it.
No, let's spin it, and then we'll talk about it.
Why do we have to talk about that
before the wheel?
I felt like I had to bring it up. I don't know.
We might be getting wet, fellas.
Go ahead, TJ. Spin it.
This would be a bad day.
Yeah, I just...
We're good. We're good.
We're good.
Now there goes a drive.
Yes, I understand how it works.
It came from my brain.
Our brain, I think.
Oh, no, this part of it.
All right.
This rule.
I'm not saying taking credit for the wet wheel.
I'm saying the rule of taking away one piece.
Dude, I just thought I saw a ghost.
I thought Radio Bren just walked by, man.
That shit would have been crazy.
How did he die?
Monster truck accident.
Shit.
He was dangling out there.
Grave Digger.
Yeah, Grave Digger.
Grave Digger's a legend.
But I have bad news.
You ever had Grave Digger on PMT?
Like in some car shit?
You got to get some car sounds.
Why is all your guests...
All your guests are sentient.
Yeah.
What's next
You need to be the first podcast
With a
I think that could work
Thomas the Tank Engine
On or something
Wait
Roan was literally about to say
He has bad news
Now I'm worried
I'm not gonna be here tomorrow
Why
Because we're starting
Storm Chasers
Fine
Starting Storm Chasers
Tomorrow
Fair play
That's horrible
We kinda need him I think
So then we gotta
Reschedule the draft.
We'll put off the draft.
Oh, no, no, no.
We can't do a draft without him.
No, no, no.
We can't do a draft without him.
No, no, no.
It's got to be full teams for the draft.
I thought that's why my brother Prime's coming in.
Coach Prime.
Can't be you.
Huh?
You can, though.
Not really the same vibe.
No, let's do something different for Prime.
Not the draft.
What if we did a wheel where we might have to get wet?
What if we got a steak and we did a wheel and it was...
Coffee steaks?
Prime rib?
No, no.
It was not cooked.
We were going to do that for the burger.
Medium rare.
Rare.
Temp wheel.
He seems like he has a low tolerance for goofs.
Yeah.
Dion?
What do you think?
Very low.
All types.
I think he'll take a goof.
Would he get wet?
He did Sunday conversation.
No way.
That's a goof.
He wouldn't eat a H-A-M burger.
Probably.
I bet he would.
I don't think he would.
He'd have to be the right one.
I think that he'd take a bite.
Or if we blindfolded him, maybe he could be the taste tester like early sass.
Now you're talking about tricking him
when were you gonna tell us
you weren't gonna be here
what the fuck
I already knew
it was a recent development
why weren't you telling us
I told sass
it wasn't sass's business
no I told sass to tell
it wasn't my job to out him
I wasn't here
I told sass
don't say
no I wanted him to
I wanted him to say
I wanted him to tell
he said don't tell anybody
when are you flying
I'm not gonna be here
on Friday
I'm leaving my flight's at 118 there's only one flight to where I'm going I don him to say. I wanted him to tell. He said, don't tell anybody. When are you flying? I'm not going to be here on Friday.
My flight's at 118. There's only one flight to where I'm going.
I don't want to say where I'm going.
So we can squeeze you in for the first 10.
What time we got you to Starkville?
118?
Damn.
How am I going to?
It is LaGuardia.
Well, you'll be there by 116.
Yeah, you can do it.
Why are you shaking your head, KB?
It's just not.
We can't do it.
No, we're out.
We're out.
What can we do tomorrow?
You fucked us.
I'm sorry.
I don't know.
You fucked us in the face.
I don't know.
The slate was bad this year.
It was hard to pick games.
What did we decide?
What are you doing?
Where are you going?
We're not saying until tomorrow.
Or maybe today we're saying.
Well, today is today.
I might go to the game.
People are going to look up
118 flights out of LaGuardia.
You guys...
Yeah.
I don't know what we should do.
The one flight.
I know.
I got to tell...
I got to...
You got more bad news for me?
No, no, no.
Not...
Well, we'll talk offline.
Sounds like you might have
really bad news.
Leaving?
So long. Even after you're gone.
I know you love me and soon you will see.
You were meant for me and I was meant for you.
Brandon, you know what that song's about?
Yeah.
What?
Being in love with somebody.
Nope.
What's it about?
Abortion.
It is not.
Yes, it is.
That's not true.
It's an abortion song.
We just got a clip of you singing the lyrics.
It's a pro-abortion song.
Yeah.
Like somebody who gets paid.
What do you think of it?
When dreams last for so long.
Someone who enjoys abortions.
Even after you're gone.
That's the aborted baby.
It's a breakup song.
It's a breakup song.
They're post-breakup.
That's like the surface level lyrics.
To dream to be a parent.
Jewel, she moved from Homer, Alaska.
She went down to the Gulf Coast of Texas to try to just shine shoes and do whatever she could to make some money.
You should date Kirolenko, Andre Kirolenko.
That's right.
She got her teeth fixed.
Oh, really?
I don't think it was a smart move to get her teeth fixed.
She had a snaggled tooth.
She had a bad fucked up tooth.
She's the most famous yodeler.
I think that was a very smart move.
The most famous yodeler of all time.
What about Bjork?
Is she a yodeler?
No.
Come on, bro. Come on. Who's the most famouseler of all time? What about Bjork? Is she a yodeler? No. Come on, bro.
Come on.
Who's the most famous scat man?
Scat man, John?
Probably.
There it is.
I'd say Louis Armstrong.
What about Mraz?
I can't do it.
Someone can do it.
Skid-ba-do-ba.
There it is.
I knew you could.
How about Mincy just chiming in on the cell phone?
I love Mincy. I was trying to just chiming in on the cell phone? I love Mincy.
I was trying to get him to talk about the game last night.
All the South's been on fire.
Yeah.
What did he say?
He has something planned for us for what?
He's got a lot of plans.
He said on the call that you're not going to believe, Marty.
You're not going to believe Fat Tuesday.
Yeah, Fat Tuesday.
That's what it was.
Tee!
Tuesday of Mr. D. Are you starting to like Mincy, Brandon? I have not. Yeah, Fat Tuesday. That's what it was. It's silly.
Are you starting to like Mincy, Brandon?
I have no idea.
Oh, you hate his guts.
No, I don't.
I have no nothing.
Not even smoldering.
It's a burning hatred.
No, we're not doing this.
We're not doing this online where Brandon hates Mincy.
I'm not doing that.
No, but I'm just saying you could have.
It's when you see fine art, you're like, oh, I could do that.
But you didn't.
You decided to do Rasslin instead of Sandwich.
And that was, like, there's two paths you could have gone.
Bon Me Boys is great, though, man.
Back to work Monday.
Oh, you could have made Roses by the Chainsmokers.
It's like the most surface level DJ talent.
Why didn't you do it?
Oh, they're going to get what? What does he?
Wrong question.
He knows what we want.
People are going to get what they want.
He's taking it to the people.
What's he doing in Brownsville?
Oh, 224 on 224.
He's hitting the streets.
Look at the signs, bro.
Yeah, 22, 24, two retweets, 24 likes.
It's all adding up.
He's going to have a Derek Jeter and Kobe Bryant jersey on.
I love the hashtags.
I love when people tweet with hashtags.
Oh, I had the best one.
I'll send it to you, TJ.
The Bengals fans found my Harambe shirt, and they're not happy about it.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
I've been getting dragged a little bit online.
But it's just very funny that this is what people cancel us for.
They're mad about that.
They weren't mad about losing the Super Bowl.
They also weren't mad about killing Harambe.
Yeah, they're just picking things to be mad at.
Those are the people who killed.
I've never seen people less mad to lose the Super Bowl.
Really?
They were coming off a little Canadian.
They were.
Like, as soon as the game...
They were all like, oh, we're just happy to have been here.
Yeah, they had such...
Like, they were all hyped up as fuck, like, during the game,
and then they lost, and then they were just like,
all right, let's go home.
Wrong team won.
Yeah.
They were like, the Rams played their asses off.
That's like, that's literally what they said.
Put up that tweet, TJ.
I just sent it to you.
People, thank you.
The use of hashtags is always when someone's like, you know what?
Who day?
Yeah, look at it.
I'm finished.
Yeah, so bro, Barstool Sports, do better.
This is gross.
And then he just made sure to also include rule the jungle who day.
He exposed himself clicking 3XL, though. a child buddy oh wait who's that guy yeah yeah
so a child falls in the pen of a gorilla that could have easily ripped the child apart and
the gorilla was killed to protect the child and you put it on us yes let's go that's wait
a 10 year old has more sense no that's pro. That's pro me. No, they're coming. No, they're saying you put it on a sweatshirt.
That's anti-you.
That's anti-you.
Oh, it's all anti-me.
I thought there was one pro.
No, everyone, if you scroll, it's like they're all like, fuck this guy.
Who made this?
And then a shout-out to Stoolies snitch-tagging me, which is very funny.
People are like, who made this?
And they tag me underneath it.
I'm going to defend the use of hashtags here because.
No.
Hear me out.
Hear me out.
Hear me out.
The Bengals official hashtag is WhoDay.
Oh, we know.
During football season, if you do the hashtag, whatever official your football team is, there is a little logo that they pay for.
Yeah, so fucking what?
So it looks pretty cool.
The hash flag.
But it's not there.
Well, because they stopped paying for it.
But it probably was there when he tweeted it.
No, it wasn't.
He tweeted this yesterday, Steven.
Well, then he's probably just in the habit.
I mean, they tricked him.
But it looks cool.
The Bangalorian.
This guy's very upset.
Bangalorian.
How about the...
That's a pretty good name.
Yeah, I noticed.
We've had him on...
I think he was on the pro football show as one of the famous fans.
I didn't.
The thing with the Bangalorian, this is how we get taken out of context all the time.
I very explicitly said that if you buy that shirt, you're a sicko and a pervert.
Yeah.
Usually you have to get to know somebody to find out they're a sicko and pervert.
You're doing the world a huge favor.
Correct.
It's like a registry.
I said I had to make the shirt.
There's nothing I could do about it.
You're a sicko and a pervert.
Speaking of which, has Hank the Tank died yet?
I think the order's been made to kill him, right?
No.
Oh, nice.
We're going to make so many t-shirts.
I made t-shirts for when he's alive so that people can't claim I'm just profiting off his death.
I also profited off his life.
A little loophole.
They're smart of me.
When he dies, will you show the live shirts?
I've already printed the live shirts. They're smart of me. When he dies, will you show the live shirts? No, I've already printed the live shirts.
It's already on sale.
Like, if I could go back in time, I would have made a Harambe shirt the day before.
Totally.
So people would be like, oh, wow, you were a Harambe fan before it became cool.
I want a face smash of Frank the Tank and Hank.
Hank the Tank?
No, Hank.
Hank the Tank.
Hank and Frank the Tank on a shirt about Hank the Tank
Do you know what I'm saying?
Lockwood
Henry Lockwood
Francis Fleming
Face smashed
Into a bear
Yes
On the shirt about Hank the Tank
Yep
It would be funny if Hank
Too much to add
If Hank and Frank went
And interviewed
Hank the Tank
Yes
Why not?
That's the kind of shit that
Hank and Frank That's the kind of shit that...
That's what Dave was talking about, bro!
Shoot it on iPhones!
Look at that fat fuck.
The last story about him is he broke into two more homes last night.
That's awesome.
No shit.
Still doing it.
He doesn't know he's at risk.
He doesn't care.
Does anyone told him to stop?
Maybe he wants to see your dad.
They better not kill this bear.
Oh, a suicide bomb? They're going to see your dad. They better not kill this bear.
They're going to kill the bear?
Almost definitely.
They've tried everything else. He's still actively breaking into homes?
They've tried tasing him.
They've tried rubber bullets, tear gas.
They can't get him to stop.
We don't have...
Let me give you a little tip, Nick.
They're trying to get all those people to move the fuck out?
This bear can't be trapped or taken into custody
in any way.
They don't have any zoos.
Sounds like they're not
trying hard enough.
I hope they aren't.
I wouldn't shoot him
if he was a polar bear.
I would fake try.
Nick, you need to...
What did you say?
I don't know.
Brandon's laughing.
It's okay.
It's fine.
I don't know.
See it?
I want to hear the joke too.
Why does it make
Brandon cheese so hard?
I think he just likes me
and he giggles
when he looks at me.
What did he say?
Brandon, defend yourself.
Play it back.
Roll it back.
Roll it back.
Pull it back.
It's not going to be funny saying it the second time.
Do it.
I said the cops wouldn't shoot it if it was a polar bear.
That's funny.
That is funny.
Racial humor, Nick.
It's an endangered species joke.
Sorry, I'm the only one to fucking laugh at this joke.
Speaking of endangered species,
the Yak has a Belarusian fan
exiled in Ukraine who took a giant
shit on Steven's theory yesterday.
Oh, no way.
Let's have him be our refugee.
Let's get him over here. Are people being refugees
from... We're already refugees?
I think Belarus is going to Spain.
Or no. Oh, Belarus used to fuck with Russia,
but Belarus... Oh, I think they're allies right now.
Belarus just attacked Ukraine.
Yeah, Belarus and allies, they're linked up together.
Wait, they did today?
Belarus didn't attack.
Right now?
No, they're allies.
Yes, Russia and Belarus are allies.
Belarus just came over the top today.
Yes, last night.
Belarus is helping.
Yes, they're helping.
Y'all need to educate us.
Yes.
No, they're not really.
They're puppets.
It's like Ron Harper.
Remember that hot chick who was on the world by a gymnast they have good gymnasts right Lana something oh it's um a skier yeah skiers are hot too what I
was saying Nick is you need to start thinking about this in a content way is
start doing your little
fucking Photoshop things for T-shirts
for when they kill Hank the Tank.
We will be rich. Good riddance.
Yeah. Yeah. We're not
rooting for him to die.
I'm not. I'm pro bear.
Same, bro. You also might
need him. Oh, that's an alive bear on your shirt?
Gross. I'm not gonna
have sex with you.
Did you hear about that Olympian skier who got a frozen penis?
Got one?
Who received one?
Jay, we're on the brink of World War III.
Read the fucking room.
It was the Olympics.
Oh, shit.
Is this all going on during the Olympics?
What?
Oh, no.
The Olympics have been over for four days.
Five days.
I don't care.
Steven only can think of it in a sports context. Oh, no. The Olympics have been over for four days, five days. I don't even... You only can think of it in a sports context.
Like, oh, no.
Wait.
What's going to happen to the Belarusian team?
They waited for the Olympics to end.
Oh, definitely, bro.
Especially if China's involved in the next step.
They had to get rid of their Olympics first.
Had to get everybody out of the country.
The International Space Station's U.S. and Russia, right?
That's how people...
It's got to be awkward.
That's a good sitcom.
Yeah.
So, I guess we're enemies?
Mm-hmm.
So...
No more Tang for me.
Anything cool happen?
I did like the...
Being in a fight in zero gravity must be hilarious.
Yeah, like you send your turd...
You send your turd floating into a room.
One punch just, like, shoots a guy across the...
Even, like, a a guy across the atmosphere.
Even, like, a verbal argument would be funny.
Yeah.
You yell too loud
and propel yourself back.
Floating while, like,
talking shit.
Fuck you, dude.
Get back here.
Yeah, the read-the-room people
last night were fucking awesome.
Yeah.
Do you guys fuck with any Russians?
Do you have any Russian homies?
Um... No. How about the outside of America? Sure. fucking awesome. Yeah. Do you guys fuck with any Russians? Do you have any Russian homies?
No. No.
Nobody outside of
America.
I think I am actually
a little Russian.
Oh, wow.
We're going to
intern your ass, bro.
Yeah, probably will be.
Start lying about that.
Actually, no.
Yeah, no, I am.
I am partial Russian.
Dude, you have to
start lying about that.
Andrei Kirilenko.
Boy.
Zangief.
Denounce your Russian line.
I don't.
You already said that Putin was corny.
Thank you.
I think my family already denounced it by leaving Russia to go to America.
That's right.
Also, did Italians denounce Italy by coming over here?
That's not how it would be in Italian America.
Yeah.
They got the jersey short now.
Putin's short, isn't he?
Yeah.
Very short. Don't say? Yeah. Very short.
Don't say that.
No, no.
I mean, history is told by just a bunch of disgruntled short guys mad about their height.
Yeah.
He's a little hockey player.
He's average height.
No, he's short.
I thought he was like 5'11", 6'0".
Yeah, me too.
No way.
Putin's short.
When he's sitting bare-chested on that horse, he looks...
Yeah, he looks tall.
He probably inclined benches like 120s in each hand.
Again, yeah.
It doesn't matter size.
It doesn't.
It literally doesn't matter.
He can have a bare chest and rep 80s.
People are so mad at rep 80s.
No way.
Oh, Joe Button.
Damn.
That would have been funny.
Okay, so he's like 5'6".
Shit.
He's 5'6".
The guy's short as fuck.
That is bad.
Well, one inch taller than Jesus.
Imagine if we could have just avoided this whole thing by just getting him that fucking surgery that makes you taller.
You just need some of those soul stilts.
Lifts?
Yeah, the lifts.
Those surgeries, they break all your bones and lengthen your legs.
They can only give you like three inches, right?
And the recovery process is...
Ask Kyle if he'd like three inches.
Three inches would mean the world to me.
It would be life-changing.
He wouldn't invade Ukraine if he had three inches.
You'd want a very painful surgery with an insane recovery.
No, I would never do that.
I'm just saying if I could get it, I would.
You can.
No, I could get it without that.
You can. In Turkey or where? could get it i would you can no i i could get it without that you can't
in turkey or where turkey's for hair yeah turkey they're just the hair they're specialists of europe yeah they are wait it's turkey asia you're both europe oh is it both is it map guy is this a
big come up for you by the way k, Kyle? Are you like talking about.
Like, yeah.
It's like, no.
No, but I'm saying like CNN, like reach out.
Like we need someone who can name all the towns in Ukraine.
Nah.
But you do know of all these places.
No, no.
You don't know Kiev?
I know Kiev.
What else?
Eve.
Don't fuck.
Charnobyl.
Charnobyl?
Are you worried you're not going to be able to recognize it?
Petabox
Fuck
What was that?
What's the map game you play?
Yo, Gessler
Yo, Gessler
That wasn't skill based
That was just memorization
It's Chernobyl, right?
The nuclear
Chernobyl?
Chernobyl
Tra?
No, there's no T
Chernobyl Chernobyl It might be, yeah? No, there's no T.
Chernobyl.
Chernobyl. It might be, yeah.
You definitely know, but you're just...
Chernobyl.
I don't want to act like I know it all.
I'm always mispronouncing.
I only read things, so I don't know how to pronounce any of the towns.
Chernobyl is actually just...
It's not a nuclear explosion.
It's just a 5G tower.
That's all it is.
That's why no one can go near it.
Trey's got an elephant's foot in his backyard.
What?
Don't worry.
That's why they had the nuclear power plant thing.
Why did they start the show with the C?
Start what show?
Chernobyl.
It's a town.
Not a show, right?
Is it a show, too?
It's a show, too.
It was first a show, then a town adaptation. show right Is it a show too It's a show too It was first a show
Then a town adaptation
From
We're improv
In facts
We think
Chernobyl the show
Was like cheers
Throwing out
Into the town
It's like the Mighty Ducks
It's like it was a movie first
And then it became a hockey team
Yeah
Imagine if that was
Like the truth though
Like they had a
Chernobyl the show
Like cheers
And they made a real cheers bar
Yeah
And they made a real Cheers bar. Yeah.
And they made a real nickel. And a real.
And I guess we got to fucking.
Yeah, people really want to see this thing in real life.
Going to have to fucking make it.
Brandon, why you got that Chick-fil-A out there?
I thought you had to go do a.
Donnie's trying.
Brandon is definitely on the top of the list of guys who's going to make a sick Rocky IV tweet and be like, nailed that during these next few weeks.
People are getting a lot of clout off of war.
It's great to see.
It's crazy the minds of people.
The read the room people, they want you to say war is bad, which would be just for clout.
What do you want us to do?
Yeah.
What do you want us to do?
How can you make jokes in it? Do you want us to stop
tweeting? Keep making jokes. And then when are we allowed
to tweet again? When the war's over?
There was world peace before this.
Yeah, right. Like, if you
read the room with
Iraq and Afghanistan, you would have been reading
the room for 20 years. Yeah.
It's just funny seeing, like, No Jumper
and Keemstar, like, tweeting out
live clips of what's happening in Ukraine.
Are they?
There's like these gossip accounts about like celebrity like – actually that's what Jordan Woodruff should be.
Why are you nodding your head, Che?
I don't like what you're doing right now.
That's not helping you.
That's saying Keemstar is a better reporter than Adam Schefter.
Keemstar did get the shit out.
That's not defending you.
Don't nod your head.
I'm just saying like this new age. Owen is the shit out. That's not defending you. Don't nod your head. I'm just saying, like, this new age.
Owen is the new Caleb.
Owen is mad at Che.
What are you doing?
Brandon, what are you doing?
He just stomped.
He's going to play.
He's going to bowl.
What?
You're throwing a fit that you don't know where your notebook is,
so you're throwing a...
Oh, what are you going to do?
You're not going to remember that you were supposed to rank fucking Shawshank,
the seventh best movie about prisons?
Did you find his notebook?
In engagement?
I think he threw it.
Oh, yeah.
Is that it right there?
Yeah, that's it.
World War II movies about brothers dying.
Saving Private Ryan, eighth best.
Vin Diesel dies in what?
No, in Saving Private Ryan.
What?
Jarhead.
Oh, he dies in Saving Private Ryan.
Locker.
Wait, am I thinking of...
No, that is Vin Diesel.
Vin Diesel dies in...
What's the D-Day scene?
Tom Hanks.
Black Hawk Down.
The tune?
It is Saving Private Ryan.
Yeah, you're right, Chad.
R.A. rated.
Oh, no.
Here's our geopolitical expert, Frank Fleming.
Now, Frank, you actually are suspended right now.
We're going to let you on for the next 10 minutes, 15 minutes,
but you're suspended.
You never told any of us you were going to Daytona.
Mike.
You did not tell us.
I'm talking to the mic. Who did you tell?
Spider. Spider's not
on the show.
Well,
all I know about the
Ukraine is... Okay, alright, let's
do it. Let's get into it, yeah.
It's a
road apple.
For the people that are just Mets fans, can you make this?
Yeah, do it about the Mets.
Do it about the Mets.
So Russia is?
Russia basically is like the Kyle Schwarber in the Atlanta Braves.
Wait, what?
Okay, okay.
Hear him out.
No, no, no.
We need it in the Mets.
So Russia is the Wilpons.
So Ukraine is the Mets in this.
Ukraine is Tom Seaver.
Ukrainians are Tom Seaver.
Oh, Ukraine's the Mets.
Yeah.
And then Kyle Schwarber is Russia.
No, Kyle Schwarber can't be Russia.
In this scenario?
He had 10 home runs.
He had 10 home runs in seven games against the Mets last year.
So, yeah.
Oh. He bombed them. He shelled them the Mets last year. So, yeah. Oh!
He bombed them.
He shelled them.
Now I got it.
And who is China?
Well, we'll be watching them in a couple of months when they do this to Taiwan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Neat.
Who are they compared to the Mets, though?
All I know in terms of Ukraine.
Yankees?
Are they kind of the Yankees?
All I know in terms of Ukraine is what I learned from Cosmo Kramer.
Ah, yeah.
Ukraine not weak.
That's fast.
Who is Cosmo Kramer?
He was a guy who was...
Brandon.
What's your favorite line from?
Brandon likes to stand up all the time.
Yeah, right.
Oh, from The Laugh Factory?
Yeah.
That's good.
Brandon's a huge Kramer fan.
Frank, how was Daytona?
It was nice.
It was a good road trip down to Daytona.
What kind of car did you drive down in?
Well, I just gave Doug's the wheel of my...
I see you.
Whoa.
And you guys just drove all the way down there?
Yes.
How long was the drive?
Two days and two days back.
What did you listen to?
A lot of the 70s channel, the 80s channel,
some Yacht Rock here and there.
You love Yacht Rock.
You a Hall & Oates guy?
Eh, like Bertie Higgins.
Okay.
What about Michael McDonald?
A good man.
I had dinner with him.
It was so weird.
Someone explain to me Michael McDonald.
Was this guy just hanging around the studio all the time and said,
Oh, Michael, could you come and sing background?
He's got a good voice.
Yeah, no, that is.
I like Michael.
He and Randy Newman.
I mean, he pops in these other people's songs.
What a fool believes.
That's his song.
We have any Michael McDonald karaoke we could do?
That he sings background to Steely Dan on Peg.
Peg!
Any podcasts?
Well, of course
I do my weekly podcast.
Allow me to be frank on what he was asking.
Do you listen to any, though?
Did you listen to any on the drive?
A little bit of the Dave show.
The Dave Portman show.
Inside Barst still part?
Yep.
Of course, always.
See if he's talking about the tank.
Is he talking about the tank?
Not particularly.
A little bit here and there.
A little touch, a little sprinkle in of the tank.
One thing I noticed on the way down and on the way back is there's this place in South Carolina
which is complete cultural appropriation.
Uh-oh, what's it called?
South of the border?
South of the border.
Yep.
What is it?
It's got like this Mexican theme.
Wait, wait, are you virtue signaling right now, Frank?
Yeah, you're a fucking New York hipster.
Virtue signal.
Telling the rest of the country how to live.
I didn't realize you were virtue signaling, Frank.
What's the theme of the country how to live. I didn't realize you were virtue signaling. What's the theme of the restaurant?
It was different about any other Mexican.
Imagine if a nuke hit a Mexican village 35 years ago,
and then they just left it there, and now it's a tourist attraction.
Wait, so there's nothing there?
It's bizarre.
It's like a bunch of souvenir stores.
There's like an alligator pit.
Don't they sell fireworks
and stuff? Half the stuff is closed
because there's a miniature golf place
that's not open. There's amusement park rides
that are not open. And it's
sad and depressing.
Whoa.
In South Carolina, there's 100
miles of billboards for it on the way.
Is the food good?
Oh, it's not a restaurant.
I don't think they have food.
What?
Wait, what do you mean?
It's like a bunch of gift shops.
Oh, they have dining.
It wasn't open in one time.
Oh, TJ.
Try that one again.
I went pre-COVID and there was no restaurants open.
You think they opened it after COVID?
I don't know.
I went pre-COVID, there was no food.
They have a place called Pedro's Hot Tamale, which has hot dogs and, well, the review will be out.
Tamales.
Uh-oh.
I should have spoiled that.
Can we water the odds under a double?
One to one?
Pretty good.
Oh, no.
Under a double?
Sounds like a strikeout to me, Frank.
I mean, the place is so sick.
What did you give Pinks?
Well, that review will be out one of, Frank. I mean, the place is so sick. What'd you give Pigs? Well, that movie will be out one of these days.
I might need a second...
For the CGI.
I might need a second guy to help me edit my...
Because I think I'm killing my guy.
He's doing a great job. He gets them out once a week.
But I got like...
Now about 20 episodes that are
ready to be edited.
Did you tell him this yet?
Oh, he knows. Is he a slow editor? No, he's just a fat hot fast hot dog guy yeah that's true he just he just uh
he does other things and does this on the side so uh he does a great job fastest in the world
he reaches inhuman speeds no no editor on on the face of the planet could keep up with as fast of a hot dog guy.
A team couldn't.
Scientists at MIT were calling it
impossible.
How is this man doing
so many hot dogs?
Another one?
How is he not autonomous?
I do one a week,
so I'm probably going to have to get a second editor
and kick it up to two a week.
Yeah.
Any help you need, Frank?
I mean, but they definitely saw some different things on the road, and that was – that South of the Border place is just so weird.
Did you take any still photos or anything that we could see?
Any slideshows? Anything that we could see? Slide shows? I did one slide show, but I didn't do really one on the road that much.
I concentrated on when I got to the Golf Hall of Fame.
Nice.
I like the World Golf Hall of Fame.
Nice Hall of Fame.
What are your Hall of Fame rankings?
Well, I've now been to four Hall of Fames.
Basketball, baseball, football.
I would go baseball one.
Why do you answer when he asks? I would go baseball one. Why do you answer when he asks?
I'd go baseball one.
I'd go football two and a very close two.
I like football a lot.
I'd go golf three and a huge gap.
Basketball is the worst.
And basketball Hall of Fame.
Shit's in a strip mall.
Have you been to Rock and Roll?
No, I have not been to Rock and Roll.
Got to hit that one up.
You got to get to the Hockey Hall of Fame whenever Canada opens.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, right now, there's a guy sitting out there.
The Moose said he told you.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Wrestling, I know you're not a fan, but, you know, some little treats for you, probably.
Is there going to be a, well, I'm waiting for the WWE Hall of Fame.
The amateur wrestling, the Dan Gable Hall of Fame.
We should open up.
I actually pitched to Dave that we should have a Barstool Hall of Fame.
On site?
Wait, why'd Che give that look?
Was that Che's idea?
There's no way.
I pitched this idea last year to Gaz and Jen Simons.
I didn't know about that.
Okay. Great minds think alike. What was was your idea you already have a bust of yourself
i had a meeting with him like a year and a half ago i do i do i told you wouldn't know about it
i did tell that yeah like it would be funny if we had a wing where it was like a bunch of people's
busts and stuff and it was just random people like you know and that's what disappointed me
about the uh Hall of Fame.
They have names on a wall and then you go to a computer
and then you can look them up.
That's it. No busts.
That's exactly how I was planning on doing the
Barstool Hall of Fame.
Fuck. No fucking busts.
How great would it be to have, like,
actual ceremony
where Mr. Portnoy gave a speech.
Yeah.
It would just be very funny to watch the barstool hall if we could induct haters.
Yeah.
You know what I noticed about the golf hall thing is, and it takes a lot of work to me.
Part of what I was saying, yeah.
What?
Is they actually put the, and it's more of a plaque with a 3D image of the golfer on it.
And some of them were better than others, the plaque design.
But anyway, whenever someone gets in a Hall of Fame, they have to shuffle it because they put them in alphabetical order.
Ah.
I mean, that seems like a pain.
Yeah, I mean, what do you prefer?
Dewey Decimal?
Well, the baseball and football.
Color-coded? You're inducted. Chronological. do you prefer? Do we decimal? Well, the baseball and football. Color coded?
You're inducted.
Chronological.
Ah.
Dude,
Vijay's on an island.
By the way,
we need to figure out
what we're doing tomorrow now.
Oh,
fuck,
yeah,
Roan ruined that.
Yeah,
Roan,
is it because you don't
play Dion?
No,
I think it's actually
for the best
that we put it off
another one.
No,
I agree we put it off,
but I think we should
do something special
for Dion.
Oh, yeah, you didn't ruin it, Roan. What about like a race?
We could go to a fitness center.
Trying to think what his speed is.
You know, next Friday...
You're the only guy I know who could pull off a purple shirt.
I don't know.
I don't know about that.
Oh, fuck me.
Yeah, it's hard to do.
I found a way.
It takes practice and get your reps in with the different hues.
Frank, you look good.
You look real good.
I'd say Frank's even more purple.
Did someone just say something about purple shirts?
No.
I did just a little bit ago.
You did.
I was confused.
Next Friday, we should all march around throughout the Yak.
It's March 4th.
Yeah.
March 4th.
March 4th.
Oh, there he is.
Oh, March the 4th be with you?
March the 4th be with you.
That's it.
What?
It was March 4th.
March the 4th be with you.
That's a Star Trek thing.
That's the Star Trek day.
It's May the 4th be with you.
Tomorrow is March 4th, which means you have to march.
Everywhere you go. Fourth. Got it. What do we do tomorrow Star Trek thing. That's the Star Trek day. It's May to 4th, B-U-A-T. Tomorrow's March 4th, which means you have to march. Everywhere you go.
Fourth, got it.
What are we going to do tomorrow?
Fun thing.
Wet wheel.
That's all we got.
What about Oklahoma drills?
They come back.
It's like, what ideas have you come up with?
And we just have one, wet wheel.
So we've got the wet wheel.
Let's have Dion review things.
The most recent Vampire Weekend album or something. Listen through it. Let's have Dion review things The most recent vampire weekend album
Or something
Listen through it
Let's all bring three white things
Yeah
Three white things for Dion
I would do that
He ranks who's like
Got the whitest things
Or some shit like that
It can be abstract
It can be a song
Or like a possession
Or a food
Or he could tell
He could say
Which one of us is black
And he could just pick
Pick one of us
What if we did a
Banana eating bracket
So it's like
Who can eat the faster banana
And then it's a bracket
I would
A bracket would be fun
But I think
Each stage
Yeah
Let's eat bananas
Fuck it
What I mean
The most you have to eat
Is like three bananas
To win it all
That's
That's hardly any
Might as well be zero
You know You know what's been Always bothers me is every time I order something from Uber Eats to the office, something goes wrong.
Yeah.
What do we got now?
I don't understand that because for me, maybe 1% of the time.
At most.
Well, this time.
Uber Eats is incredibly efficient.
This time they did not deliver me my bottle of Diet Coke.
They could bring you a mug root beer instead?
Nope, didn't give me anything.
Just the hamburger and the fries.
Are you serious?
They stole it.
Yeah.
You paid for the Pepsi.
I had to go down the street and buy one at Wayne Reed
because the newsstand was closed.
And, of course, I get into Wayne Reed and the line is long.
And then just as I get to the cashier, they open up two other registers,
and then the register I was on had a problem,
so I had to move over to the next register.
Jesus Christ, man.
By that time, your food was probably cold.
It was. Ice cold.
Ice cold?
Man.
Oh, no, I did notice the guy coming in went...
Ugh.
...crushing.
Owen had a similar thing happen to him not too long ago.
Yeah, actually, it did happen to me, Frank, a very similar situation, but I don't know if... Who's saying that?
...I got it with you.
Oh.
So, I don't know...
Did you say Owen?
I don't know if they forgot to...
He died 10 years ago.
I don't know if they forgot to sell it He died 10 years ago. I don't know if they forgot to soda at the restaurant.
Radio Bren.
Monster truck.
Or if someone decided to have a refreshing drink on the way home.
Oh, look.
They're delivering and they gave me a nice soda.
I would do that shit all the time.
Your drink.
No one's going to believe you.
Also, it's not like the old days where it's like you work for the restaurant.
Yeah, what are they going to fire you?
They aren't.
Just be like, oh, I left the drink.
What are they talking about?
I'd have fries.
I'd take some fries.
I would make a whole.
This is my last day.
I'm done Uber Eats driving.
I'm going to go make a day out of just stealing meals.
Yeah.
That'd be awesome.
We should sign up.
We should just do that for a day.
Uber Eats drivers and just see how much.
Cycle through.
Maybe that's a show.
It's not even taking a fry.
You could take one whole item. No, I actually. Cycle through. That's a show. It's not even taking a fry. You could take one whole item.
No, I actually.
Then they blame.
They blame the restaurant.
I rode along once with an Uber Eats driver.
Like a cop?
You had a ride along?
Wait, you had a ride along?
You did a ride along with an Uber Eats driver.
You did a ride along with an Uber Eats driver.
Yeah, the guy.
The people who protect and serve.
Did he ever fire his weapon?
Wait, did he, like, shoot a gun at all?
The guy actually used to work for CBS Sports Radio,
and it has its own podcast, Mike Basaglia.
Man, don't put him out there like that.
And he does podcasts, and he's an Uber Eats driver. Oh, podcasts and he's a uber eats driver uh oh plug his uber
eats what's his license plate which one is his main job yeah he used to produce for like uh
i think he actually produced tiki and tyranny when he was on cbs sports radio oh my god so uh
it was more of a tyranny guy than a tiki guy. Oh, really? I love Tiki.
There's a conspiracy that they'd bring on Rondé half the time. Oh.
They're going stronger now on WFAN.
Oh, we knew that.
Yeah.
But he's not producing for them anymore.
But, yeah.
He's Uber Eats.
After the whole Me Too thing.
Ride alongs.
Yeah, so I spent a Sunday riding with him for a couple hours.
Oh, was it a football Sunday?
No, it wasn't.
Oh, I was going to say that would be like going to like, you know,
the roughest neighborhood.
Yeah, yeah.
You see the real shit on a football Sunday.
Uber Eats driver.
It was.
18 pizzas at this house.
These fucking guys have gotten wings five times today.
Yeah, so and it was weird.
It was he ordered from a Wendy's,
and the Wendy's food is never ready for him,
because Wendy's is so slow.
Right.
Famous for it.
The slowest.
And the guy delivered, it was like a Wendy's in Belleville.
That's one of the worst Wendy's in the country.
Is that where the Jersey Boys are from?
Yes, it is.
What?
How did you know that, big cat?
Mine like a steel trap.
In fact, the street I live on
is the street that's named after Tommy DeVito.
What?
Wait, he's numbered on Tommy Street?
Is he three?
Frankie Valley one.
Who's the girl they had the middle school gymnasium
named after her, the woman?
That's Connie Francis.
Frankie Valley one, rank them.
Then you got my Cummings.
Probably
Bob Gaudi, obviously, wrote a lot of this stuff.
And then Tommy DeVito, three?
And then four, other guy.
Other guy, whatever. Other fucking Jersey boy.
He's the first one that died.
He had the deep ass.
What a pussy. First one to die.
Tommy DeVito.
He'll be one of us someday.
We hated that guy. we knew he would die first
tommy tommy devito tommy devito is the one that was kind of like the the shady one the one that
like uh oh and in the in the bad circles i like it yeah he was he was the one that was like uh
he's the one that founded the band and he was like the one that was like got them
had the uh was in uh debt to the uh gamblers and the and the mobsters and the IRS.
He was just the way he was living his life.
He's a real Italian.
Sounds like a real piece of shit.
Rone.
Sorry, Rone.
Super fucked up.
And Nick.
The street is Belmont Avenue.
And underneath it says Tommy DeVito Way.
Wow.
That's your street?
Yep. What's your street? Yep.
And what's your address?
I'm kidding.
You don't want to fuck with Doug's.
I'm just kidding.
Doug's will be coming for you, too.
Where did you burn the jersey?
Was that your backyard?
I'm sorry, Ron.
No, no, I was going to ask something similar.
That was definitely Floridian, right?
Mm-hmm.
That actually is Doug's.
Well, Doug's has a house.
He has a couple properties down
here and that's actually god damn his current home so so and then staying
there legally that's where his place is before Before he moved up here. Is it nice?
That yard looked nice.
But I don't... Wait, why did they have the steel drum ready?
Wait, they had a drum?
It's a burn barrel.
It's a burn barrel?
Oh, then you did exactly what it's supposed to do.
I guess it was...
You've never seen bums warm their hands?
Right, but this is Florida.
Why do you need to warm your hands in Florida?
So is this like...
Now I'm starting to put this all together.
I don't even think you guys were planning on going to Daytona.
It was just Doug's.
Make it in Florida.
No, he was like, hey, Frank, they traded James Harden.
I got a burn barrel down in Florida.
You want to go there?
Daytona just happened to be there.
Would love to get a lawnmower out there
Frank this part where where you put out the fire
That was tough
What was that move when you were just trying to
See have some kindling you didn't really like that.
Frank, have you ever put a curse on someone before?
No.
The first one's always the hardest.
Yeah, what makes you think it's going to work?
That's right.
It better fucking work.
Why?
Well, with my luck, the 76ers will win an NBA championship.
Durant will go to the Lakers and win a championship next year.
There will be no baseball season for three years because there probably is not going to be a baseball season.
Rams are going to win like seven in a row.
It's going to be all LA. Okay.
You should have flicked a cigarette in.
And my biggest problem
What if you flicked a cigarette in?
And like poured gas in.
That would work.
I would have got the gasoline.
I think you have to say I would have got the gasoline. That's now a fire.
So I think you have to say it to like
curse the word.
So do you think
James Harden will
now have bad luck
in the playoffs?
You know,
you know,
the reason why
Durant's hurt is
because fucking
Harden took a damn
dive and almost
took his knee out.
Oh, damn.
I mean, everything Harden did on the Nets this year was pure sabotage.
Well, the thing is, Frank, it's not like he had done that ever before,
so you couldn't expect that from him.
I didn't expect him to do it twice.
That's like being cheated on.
That's actually a shame on you situation.
Not being cheated on, but cheating on. That's actually a shame on you situation. Not being cheated on, but cheating on.
Finding someone else who cheated.
Cheating on someone
with someone.
Then starting a relationship and having them cheat on you.
It's a fool me twice situation.
Fool me once, shame on me.
That was Houston. Houston fell apart because
Chris Paul said, I can't stand this fucking guy.
And Russell Westbrook said,
I can't stand this fucking guy.
Dwight Howard said, I can't stand this fucking guy. And no Westbrook said, I can't stand this fucking guy. And Dwight Howard said, I can't stand this fucking guy.
And no one else would want to go play with him. And he says, oh, I'm going to take down Houston.
He gained 35 fucking pounds.
And then he came to Brooklyn last year.
Had a good year.
Lost 35 fucking pounds.
And now Kyrie Irving does that thing with the vaccine.
And all of a sudden, now James Harden gains another 35 fucking pounds.
And now all of a sudden, he's lost it again.
I mean, the guy is just a piece of shit.
Is his weight fluctuating?
Pineapple on pizza. What about tacos?
Al Pastor?
What's your favorite taco?
Just plain meat and cheese.
You ever like pineapple
on a taco? No.
Peanut butter?
Frank, what's your best vegetable?
And not favorite, mind you.
Your best.
Your best.
There is a fine line, but
it's different for sure.
I'd say my favorite vegetable is
the mashed potato.
That's your favorite. Your best.
What's your best
vegetable? More of a bok choy? I don't even know what that is. That's your favorite, your best. Yes. No, what's your best vegetable, though?
More of a bok choy?
I don't even know what that is.
Your best.
What's your best vegetable?
Green beans, I guess?
Yeah.
How far behind is green beans from mashed potatoes?
Everyone has a best and a favorite.
Remember, I got the free metal shaving from my green beans.
Oh, my God, yeah. It's a cracker barrel. There's just a free metal shaving from my green beans. Oh, my God, yeah.
It was Frank the Cracker Barrel.
There's just a piece of metal in his green beans.
Yeah.
Like someone's brace.
He's like, these aren't my favorite.
Tooth brace.
No, it's leg brace.
Not a leg brace.
Yeah, of course, I did some raw dogging on the road.
What state has the worst hot dogs?
What state that I've been to has the worst hot dogs so far?
What state has the worst hot dogs?
Well, I did a raw dog in Delaware and was not impressed.
Yeah, that.
Delaware's bad for hot dogs.
Is Rhode Island, too, behind New York?
Is Rhode Island, too, behind New York? Is Rhode Island, too, behind New York?
Rhode Island is far behind New York.
When it comes to the dogs?
Who's answering wrong?
Owen, shout out the Friars.
Yeah, their buzzing fights was there.
I know.
That was awesome.
I know.
That was the whole game.
I was jealous.
My parents were there, too.
You know, I actually know God Sham God's Backup.
So a guy that's God Sham God's Backup. Wow a guy that's God Sham God's Backup.
Wow.
Who would God's Backup be?
St. Peter.
It was actually a guy named Dennis Cleary.
Oh, this wasn't a joke?
Oh.
You literally know his backup?
Yep.
Oh.
How do you know?
That was a twist.
Like you know him personally?
Yeah. like you know him personally yeah he is a uh also but he is currently now a uh practicing
defense attorney in new jersey oh wow really so do you know him players don't really if he saw you
in basketball it's just a roster oh yeah he know me i knew him from court. But it's not. Oh.
Frank, if Providence ever came out with their own line of shoes,
they'd probably call them the air fryers.
Oh.
There it is. Take that with you.
All right, let's end the show on that.
Take that with you, Frank.
Wait, Roan, give him permission for that.
Frank, if you'd like to use that, run it.
And your friend can't get off the court, it seems like.
Yep.
He did score one point in an NCAA tournament game.
So he's always been around the bench.
Hey-oh.
Damn, bro's cooking.
You know what was great about going to Southwood Border?
The weather forecast was chilly today, hot smiley.
There it is. That's what I was looking
for. Steve, can we get a Steve clip?
Out of context. I really need that.
I really need that clip. When has there ever been coffee?
Wait. Oh, man.
We're back.
We're back. We're back. We're back.
Brandon left to play bowling with you, Stephen.
He didn't.
He left to tape unnecessary roughness.
What?
Play bowling.
What?
Let's play bowling.
He left to go tape unnecessary roughness.
Oh, they're still doing that?
It's the Yak.
It's the Yak.
And if you're done, I'm going to say, look, my crack.
It's the Yak.
It's the Yak. Look at my crack. to next