The Yak - Goalball is BACK | The Yak 3-4-24
Episode Date: March 4, 2024Day One Post-Mintzy/KlemmerYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up.
Hello.
It's the Yak.
Oh, that cut off.
Yeah.
What was that, TJ?
Was that Stephanie?
That didn't feel good. Stephanie.
Stephanie, do it.
That's a rundown set.
Redo.
Oh, it was a Connor?
Was that?
It was TJ.
Who did that?
I don't control the audio. Never have. It was Stephanie. Who did that? I don't control the audio.
Never have.
It was Stephanie.
It was over there.
Oh, Stephanie.
Yak presented by Roback.
Roback.com.
Promo code Yak.
20% off first purchase.
Cues us polos, hoodies, joggers.
We're in the joggers right now.
I as well.
Roback.com.
Promo code Yak.
Stephanie, could you please?
Could we redo that?
We don't want to.
We could redo it.
There, that's a natural.
I ease it.
Steady.
Now we're ready.
Hold on.
Steady. steady oh
oh
wow
oh
again
did it again
that was the end
of the audio track
oh
we never got to the end
got it
whoa
hey everyone
life after Clemmer and Mincy
Yeah what do we do
I don't know
I
Like
I am excited to do the Yak every day
This might be the first time I was like
What is
We just
Can't
We reached the peak
What now
We reached the mountaintop
Can we run it back so I can get a taste
No
Nope
Nope
We're gonna quit
Mincy vs. Clemmer year two
would just be whenever you're on a bachelor party again.
Okay.
Good.
All right.
But yeah, that was,
I was laughing all weekend.
I watched so many of those.
Dude, I was outside like dancing.
Yeah.
Skipping around.
Yeah.
Floated out of here on Friday.
The grilled cheese clip could be as funny a clip.
Did Mintz take back his apology to Tite?
Yeah, I don't know where we stand anymore.
Yeah, what the hell was that?
He took it back?
I don't feel...
Yeah, you drilled him.
I don't...
I take back, like, feeling bad.
You should never have felt bad.
Well, I felt bad because...
How does he still get people?
I thought...
I know, right?
I genuinely thought I, like, Stuart Scotted him, where, like does he still get people? I know, right?
I genuinely thought I, like, Stuart Scotted him where, like,
he was going to have – Even still, I wouldn't tell you to –
But Mintz was effusive.
Like, he could not stop saying, don't beat yourself up.
It's fine.
It's fine.
It's fine.
And then he just reversed course.
Look at the tweet.
He's kind of like –
Yeah, he's kind of like saying, don't blame me, but also blame me.
He didn't turn around.
He didn't turn around, yeah.
He forgot to turn around.
And the part of the drill is to have it right there.
Yeah.
People were killing me because they're like, why would you throw it not soft when he's not ready?
And I said, because that was the drill.
Right.
If I wait for him to go, okay, now I'm ready, and I softly underhand it to him,
then there's no point in doing it.
And kudos to you if you have that kind of accuracy to hit him in the eyeball.
That was a dot, yeah.
You should never feel bad for that.
Yeah, I felt bad only because Mincy was milking it and hamming it up.
I thought there for a second he was going to pull his hand away and his eyeball would be long.
I thought his eye exploded.
Oh, brilliant, Roy.
But then he tweeted the picture the next morning for sympathy,
and it was just so much lower than I thought.
Yeah, Dave just, Dave wrote to him.
Cheek, yeah.
He's like, that's what you did?
He put a dab of mascara on his cheek and then took a picture,
and I was like, all right, well.
What a day, though.
Kate, you deserve some credit retroactively.
You were the one who decided bobbing for apples.
I was looking back through the text.
Bobbing for apples and Chuck Bunny was Kate.
What a choice.
Yeah, we should go around and who who planned everything because you did grilled cheese you got bobbing for apples yeah and chubby bunny and chubby bunny i think the
rest was kind of group chat yeah yeah yeah look it looks like he's got his ink stink yeah well i
had i had the best one and the worst one i had well one of the best ones i had grilled cheese
and i had the Chase celebrity guesser.
That's going to go down in history with kind of a bad stigma.
I think it was fine.
I think it was a natural intermission.
We've got to get on his ass.
It can't be Melissa Joan Hart.
Yeah, that was a bad pick by him, but that also is Chase celebrity guesser.
We did an example round asking him for essentially an A-list celebrity like lebron james or brad pitt
and you who was it i never heard of the jet smith oh kenny smith yeah on the last oh okay the fourth
most popular person on inside the nba yeah but still not a yeah but we didn't get even in those
that was the beauty of the whole day is like even in the events that didn't work out like they
weren't like blockbuster events yeah we still had moments where it's like we're sitting here as
being like name a movie yeah couldn't name a movie of a woman or the rc car chase when i watched that
back and mincy just drove the car to clem my favorite part of the day came from kate over
grilled cheese you i don't want to say you broke character you're always very nice yeah but you broke niceness with just the most genuine what the fuck
i've seen a lot of things i i it you couldn't try to fuck that up worse than they did you
couldn't write that yeah but in i just couldn't expect them i i still sorry my every part of it every
part of it was hilarious even watching but mincy taking the butter like it was like checkmate
he the first second he grabbed the butter he like looked at clemmer's like now it was revenge for
clemmer tying knots in the phrase i still haven't so much happened at once he tried to cut the bread
with the packaging on did i see that correct he just cut the bread just the packaging on. Did I see that correct? He just cut the bread. No, he did. He was just playing.
Clemmer cut himself.
But then Mincy cuts the bread vertically.
Yeah.
Like that was, we lost all this gold.
He lifted vertically and cut it down.
Yeah, the guy who cut the bread with the bag in it
wasn't the guy who cut his finger.
We don't even know how Clemmer cut his finger.
Yeah, no, we don't.
He said something about the knife.
Yeah.
Clemmer cutting three inch thick pieces of finger. Yeah, no, we don't. He said something about the knife. Yeah, probably. Clemmer cutting three-inch thick pieces of bread
flew under the radar.
Not even a top 30 most outrageous
thing about them making the bread.
The whole thing. Yeah, this was after
the episode.
I watched this like ten times at home
this weekend and I still couldn't figure out.
And he's smiling.
Jesus on the pan.
He's smiling like he's doing something good.
Like he's winning.
You guys know the Shane Gillis joke
about Uncle Heslam making grilled cheeses?
I think this is worse.
Yeah.
How does he...
So best case scenario,
he was going to melt the cheese on the pan
and then move it to the sandwich.
Scoop it back up.
Oh my God.
We really could probably watch this every day.
Can we go back to him cutting the bag?
That's when I knew.
I was like, oh, boy.
Yeah, go to the beginning of it, TJ.
Donnie got mad, too.
Yeah.
Oh, he was furious.
And, yeah, I'll never recover from the bobbing for apples because that was –
I was
literally walking around just showing it to people randomly.
Like, hey, you see this?
Watch this guy almost drown himself bobbing.
I mean, he wasn't bobbing for apples.
He was diving for apples.
But then he became the greatest bobbing for apples athlete of all time.
Because apples float at the surface.
He was well below.
Pushed him down.
Pushed him down and trapped them.
He said he found his leverage.
Yeah.
Like, once I found my leverage, I was good to go. He said he found his leverage. Yeah. He's like, once I found my leverage
I was good to go.
Yeah, that's the bag. And then just looking
at it sideways, vertical,
uh, uh, vertical.
Wait, wait.
And then
just stuffing huge chunks
of cheese. Just go and set that there.
And he didn't take the cheese
off the... Also, he's just seen somebody
do that thing. I love shaking. That's cooking, is shaking
a pan. But this is still
overshadowing Clemmer's
some of the most pathetic attempts at grilled cheese
himself. Horrible. Yeah, Clemmer
by himself, if you just
isocammed on Clemmer, you're like, this is the worst grilled cheese
ever. It's the worst award-winning piece
of cuisine. Right. He won
an award for that yeah a point but
the fact that he was next to mince he made him somehow like decent so genuine oh my god what a
day donnie's over there this morning he said he still couldn't piece together what it really was
it was everything i said it afterwards
when uh connor came up to us and got us our thoughts but like it was everything i envisioned
for this office all in one day yeah like all the shit all three hours yeah all in three hours yeah
with 24 hours prep to like going back to like even when we started uh yakking in chicago and
we were in that like shitty studio and everyone was complaining i was like just trust the vision
that was the vision.
It happened. But even that Chicago,
we had the mousetrap day there. Yeah, but
that's what I'm saying. When people were on their shit
like, oh, it's never going to be the same, it's like,
just trust the vision. Someday we'll have
a dinner for schmucks.
Live competition.
And now Clemmer's just in isolation for 100
hours, which is... I really
wish he had taken us up and had Kirk in Kirk's idea of having Mincy there,
strike while the iron's hot.
Yeah.
Damn.
Yeah, I think they're just a duo now.
We were just watching the grilled cheese video, Don.
I mean, I can't.
I still had nightmares about that.
I don't know how you set a pan on fire.
The things Mincy did, Clemmer caught himself, which I didn't think any of you,
but you specifically were like, yeah, make sure the bread's not sliced so they wanted exactly yeah if we had a sliced
bread i when i came in that morning i was like get baguettes get blocks of cheese because we
need to see them cut it yeah like i i didn't even think the bag would be an obstacle the bag that
can't close the bag the bag that has the bread sticking out of the end.
That's hardly a bag.
Mincy cutting through the bag over Shadows Climmer,
stroking it like a dick to get the thing.
All you have to do is just grab the bread.
Is that how Mincy takes his socks off?
Does he rip them in half?
Mincy catching that pan.
Those pans are done.
Those are brand new pans.
I should not have given them the newest ones, but that pan never recovered from that.
You got to throw away the pan?
He burnt it to a point that it was so bad
that I was scrubbing it for a while with steel wool.
It still wouldn't come off.
I have to do some more work.
In five minutes.
In five minutes.
Yeah.
I didn't think you could mess up grilled cheese that bad,
but apparently you can.
I'm going to have to have Mincy cook a whole meal,
make three courses or something out of that
yeah I think what we decided
is we're gonna do
maybe once a month
we'll just do Mincy cooks
on Fridays
that's good
and just have
and maybe we'll spin a wheel
and just be like
today you're cooking this
and we'll just watch him cook
once a month
that's gonna be torture
for me once a month
put a timer on Donnie
and see how long
he can last
I wanna test the limits
of what he can't do.
Simplicity-wise.
I want to just give him a piece of bubble gum and say, blow a bubble.
See what he does.
Do you have a knife?
Yeah.
Do I open this?
Does he just swallow it?
I don't know where it ends.
Did anybody do a question counter on Mince the other day?
That was the only downside.
Best two out of three.
But it still was great.
The
Che thing, you were like
told you guys, you were like, Clemmer, Mintzy,
it's clearly a woman. And they'd be like, Danny Glover?
Yeah.
They couldn't do it.
Couldn't do it.
Clemmer was so lucky he was against Mintzy.
Yeah. They're the perfect two of them.. Clemmer is so lucky he was against Mincy. Yeah.
They're the perfect two of them.
Because Clemmer takes it very seriously.
He was beating himself up when he lost.
And he's not really good at anything.
Yeah.
So it makes it perfect.
Yeah.
Was there a winner or was it just both?
Yeah, Mincy won.
Mincy won.
Clemmer won.
Sorry, Clemmer won.
Clemmer won.
Sorry, Clemmer won.
Mincy won the hearts back of America.
We haven't even mentioned Mincy breaking the camera or knocking the camera over.
Driving the RC car right into Clemmer's hand.
Yep, all of it.
And he pulled his quad, too.
He's hurt.
Everything.
Look at that.
And he just popped up.
He's like, you see me lay out?
It's like, yeah, dude.
You fell.
He smashed a camera.
We saw it.
It's right in front of us.
Oh, that was...
Apple won 54 seconds, and then he just figured
it out and he just went absolute like look at that chart insane that is a great chart oh man
yeah but so donnie you had a hell of a friday because you watched that you watched your kitchen
almost burned down and then you uh cooked for nba players after party yeah it was quite the uh the quite the spin from the burning grilled cheese to that.
I thought they were going to get here at midnight.
It was a late game, so they said midnight will show up.
They got here at like 1.30, and then food came out until like 3.30, 4.
So it was a late night, but it was fun.
Yeah, Pat Bev, while we were planning the Mincy Clumber Day,
Pat Bev texted me on 10 a.m. on Friday.
He was like, Cat, I need a spot after the game.
Friends, cards, chicks, hookah.
And I was like, okay.
And then we got into a discussion.
He's like, I need 20 hookahs.
20 hookahs.
I was like, Pat, we have a lot of expensive shit here.
I don't think we can just smoke out the whole office.
And I was like, how about five? And then we can just smoke out the whole office i was like how
about five and then we decided ten you're ten and it was like pat bev and his teammates just
partying till five in the morning here yeah i saw some pictures of the hookah scene yeah was it right
just right out here right over here right outside the kitchen yeah yeah yeah playing cards hanging
out did you just get texted at the last minute no i told them i told
donnie i was like can you cook yeah and pay shout out page caitlin spider they all stayed um but
yeah it was wild yeah it was i mean i didn't come i woke up at 1 30 i was like should i do it should
i go and i was like fuck this well it was crazy like hank and dante showed up at 2 2 30 and their
night was just ending the bars were all closed and that's when most of the people for Pat
Bev's party were just showing up. So Hank
wandered in just at the end of his night, and
theirs was just getting started.
But it was fun. Also kind of shows
that maybe there's a...
Maybe we play favorites here a little bit, because
I think one of the first things we said is no parties
in the office, and then Pat Bev was like,
I want to throw a party. I was like, no problem, Pat.
Whatever you want
dude yeah that was a good time there was a like there was a chance yannis was gonna show up that's
when i texted spider 130 i was like is yannis there because i would have gotten out of bed just
i thought he was well tyler miller was like you want to hear something cool as i'm cooking he's
like yannis is about to pull up i was like no way like yeah i was gonna make sure everything's
perfect he never came but yeah it was close the thought that it was it was there for a second
yeah next time, be honest.
Jay Crawford is here, though, and he made me shoot three.
No, Crowder.
Crowder, Crowder.
He made me shoot threes until I couldn't hit a single three in front of him,
and he was rebounding.
He's like, you got to make one before.
I was like, dude, it's four in the morning.
I just want to go home, and it just kept breaking.
Did you end up hitting one?
I hit one, yeah.
I hit two in a row, and then he let me go home.
Did he let you hold his bag?
Yeah, he let me hold his bag.
Your bag man.
That was cool.
Surreal.
Yeah, BJ Carter's bag man?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it didn't.
I was afraid to do anything else with it besides just hang out.
Did you drink with them?
I had a little bit.
I was so tired by the end.
I had a couple high noons at the end of the night, but I wasn't really drinking, though.
Yeah, seemed like a lot of fun.
That was fun.
Yeah.
All right, well, thank you, Donnie.
I'm out of here, guys. Yeah. Seemed like a lot of fun. That was fun. Yeah. All right. I'm out of here, guys.
Yeah, Mincy cooks one Friday every month.
I just want to see him do something that requires hand dexterity.
Yeah, Kyle's right.
It doesn't have to be.
It could just be make peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Yeah.
It could be very, very simple.
I mean, we could have told him to cut bread.
Yeah.
Right.
That would have been ridiculous.
I think, like, lick an envelope.
Send mail. Send mail.
Send mail.
Send a piece of mail somewhere.
And he'd be like, and he'd have a thousand questions.
Yeah, and then it would probably catch on fire.
Yeah.
Did he graduate a school?
Not really.
I think he graduated Ole Miss.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It took him like seven, eight years.
That's impressive.
Yeah, he went later in life.
I think he said that, yeah, he was.
No, he spent nine years there.
What's his degree here?
I think it was nine years.
Nine years?
Was he trying to be a lawyer at one point?
I don't know if he was trying to be a lawyer.
I think his mom...
I think his folks, he comes from lawyers.
Right, so I think he was, like, trying to be a lawyer.
Imagine him being a lawyer.
Mincy on, like, debate team.
Yeah, public defender.
You're going to jail.
Wait, maybe not.
Mincy has got that certain genesis quad where he could have the dumbest argument ever, and then everyone's like, I guess he's right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wait, what do you think his degree is in?
I think it's in broadcast or communications or something like that.
Interesting.
I think.
I'm not sure, but I think it's in broadcast or communications or something like that. Interesting. I think. I'm not sure, but I think it is.
Then again, he's good at poker.
That's brain stuff.
Is he, though?
He's down a lot of money to his backers.
Touche.
Yeah.
I don't think he's good at...
He's good at getting in trouble.
And then the content that comes out of it is electric.
You nailed it, Brandon.
We were like, this is what he's hired for us
to get in trouble yeah start small fires and we warm ourselves right right and we got hot i do
like the idea of having him do a normal task once a month and we try like ride the l from here to
here or like simple lost yeah i do have the air tags we gotta wait is he here today no he's on
his way to california already i think so yeah
i thought he has to be there by thursday so he left oh fuck he's air tag his ass yeah this would
have been the perfect time damn it so this was supposed to be an on week for mincey though right
it's supposed to be but i think yeah he's he's he's headed to a tennis tournament in california
him and blutman they're doing a sponsored event and a sponsored event and I don't know the rest of the
details. Yeah, that was Hank.
I think we had a sponsored
they're
like, we need talent to go
out to this
tennis tournament. He was like, Mincy and Blutman.
Perfect squad.
Yeah, perfect squad.
Blutman texted me this morning.
Mincy, I must have missed the flight there.
Oh, they already left.
Okay, all right.
So, fuck, I should have tagged him.
God damn it.
So, he almost missed another sponsor.
Which we could have immediately benefited from that.
Yep.
Yeah, let's try to get him on as much sponsor stuff as possible.
He still could miss it.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
He missed the second one.
Is there a connecting?
There might be a connecting flight.
He might even get there and forget to wake up tomorrow.
He misses the flight that he was on.
Yeah, he definitely did.
Forgets to get off.
Yeah, he forgot to get off the plane.
You have to be just a brand ambassador.
Just create fake companies and have them miss him.
Yeah.
And then just be like, well, you're in trouble again.
That's what we need.
It'll happen organic.
It'll happen tomorrow.
I would watch a Jerry After Dark where Mincy had to bob for like 1,000 hours.
Yes.
In an Olympic-sized pool.
Lake Michigan.
Yeah, yes, good bob.
Dude, he was like waterboarding himself.
When I saw that picture, I was like, how is he going that deep?
I thought during Chubby Bunny we might lose him.
I really thought.
That's when I was scared.
I thought, okay, this is not funny anymore.
Yeah, but then it looked like two big white buck teeth.
Ruled.
I was thinking they had the brand for that company.
And the brand name is on it. And I bet when the, what is it, Connections or something? Yeah the brand for that company. Yeah. And, like, the brand name is on it.
And I bet when the, what is it, Connections or something?
Yeah, you saw that tweet.
Yeah, where they were so pumped to get in this office.
And then it's just Mincy stuffing his face and almost dying from marshmallows.
That's, like, the advertisement that they're getting out there.
That thing was awesome, too, though, the little pegs.
Oh, yeah, the live tracker.
Yeah.
I know we're focused on Friday, and it was unbelievable.
It was crazy.
I still can't get the image of you in front of me with your pants at your ankles and Mark in a pope outfit.
Yeah, that was the day before.
And then there's the image of the popcorn blessing.
Yeah, I remember that.
I remember that.
We made the front page of the Chicago Tribune.
Is it sad that I Googled that? I was like, did they really? I fell for this. Oh, you did into the guy. We made the front page of the Chicago Tribune. Is it sad that I Googled that?
I was like, did they really?
Yeah, I fell for this.
Oh, you did?
Briefly.
I fell for that, too.
I did, too.
The Nuts on Clark people also fell for it.
Oh, no.
How?
Yeah, that's bad.
How do you fall for that?
That's the front page.
Because I had seen you were listed as number number like chicago top people in chicago
we had it like that i was like he's a big guy i saw the uh the nuts on clark i think it was
their instagram they did like a slideshow of being here or maybe it was twitter or something um
and not that i wanted to be in the pictures but i did think it was very funny that they purposely
left me out of the i was the one cutting the ribbon and there was no picture of that because
they were like we don't want to have to explain.
We have a pope here cutting the ribbon.
Look at Brandon.
I couldn't handle it.
I could not handle it.
Great legs.
Great legs.
Thank you.
Look at you.
That is the beauty of this show, though.
It's like an overhang, yeah.
Everyone's number gets called at some point.
You've got to answer.
You've got to do it. You've got to answer. You've got to do it.
You've got to answer.
By the way, I'm back to the ankle socks.
Oh, wow.
I was having a problem where I was just getting dressed every day,
and I wasn't even doing it on purpose.
I was tucking my socks into my joggers,
and everyone was like, that's the worst thing ever.
It's a wrestler move.
Yeah.
So I have to look like shit.
I got here this morning at 8 o'clock.
It's usually 50-50 whether it's going to be you or me gets here first.
And your car was here.
Dan was just working out.
Just working his ass off.
I walked in.
He was in shorts.
I was like, what are you doing?
Was he grinding?
I was grinding.
He was grinding.
I was grinding.
Wow.
Yeah.
It's starting to get serious.
We've got to get serious about our health.
Yep.
We'll be 40 in a year.
Damn.
And also, this is like the last week before we sit on the couch for three weeks in a row
watching college basketball.
Would you have classified those shorts as short shorts uh they are shorter
did you have a problem with it no i just turned the corner and i expected to see i didn't know
who i expected to see because donnie's always here in the morning working out too and then i just saw
you in shorts and you're getting some shots up i was like oh yeah dance dance doing the thing the
thing i'm gonna miss the most about the new york office is seeing blatman with his two inch inseams
and you see the fold of where like his thigh becomes his ass crack what how many internships
do you think blatman getting on the video board at arizona college on saturday uh 10 to 15 that was that was shocking that was shocking and i'll say this for david blattman
um i was alerted to this by the one guy you don't want to be alerted to it dave yes dave
texted me the picture and so that might be coming up on the unnamed show on thursday but yeah that
we we at least have like four or five undergrads.
Have you been on the Tron at Wisconsin?
Yeah, they've shown me.
Brandon, have you been on the Tron?
I've never asked for it.
Oh, he was asked?
I assume Blattman went into the truck and was like,
who wants an internship?
Put me on the jumbo truck.
Well, I mean, he had to do that way earlier because they put him in the front row.
They gave him a special treatment, so I'm sure it was a couple of days before had to do that way earlier because he got they put him in the front row they like they they yeah
they gave him a special treatment so i'm sure it was a couple of days before or maybe a week before
he's like hey by the way i'm coming yeah and you think there's like some like you know 19 year olds
in arizona like last week we had the nelk boys this week we got david blattman from barstool
sports yeah i think so i don't want to gas him up too much, but he posted a photo on Twitter. Look at this guy's feet.
Oh, yeah.
I think that's an optical illusion.
Oh.
Oh.
He knows exactly what he's doing.
I feel like that's one of those.
What's the shrugging candid?
Come on.
What's the candid shrug?
That's a fisheye camera, right?
Yeah.
It's got to be, right?
Those are clown shoes.
Because the bricks look normal.
Those are insane feet yeah i would like to know how that all transpired and who we owe a job to now
what did dave say in the text he just sent me the picture okay oh no context is tough yeah
yeah so that's that's something blattman should look forward to on thursday
that will definitely be on the rundown list i'll probably text it to kirk right before is tough. Yeah. Yeah. So that's that's something Blattman should look forward to on Thursday.
That will definitely be on the rundown list.
I'll probably text it to Kirk right before like reminder
David Blattman on the. Is that today?
Thursday. That's on Thursday.
It's on Thursday. Thursday.
Do you guys see tits are back?
Yeah. Tits. So back.
We made it. Yeah. I feel like I think
they're peaking again. Oh I think asses are done. Yeah. I agree. Tits are. We finally did it. So back. We made it. Yeah. I feel like this is the moment. I think they're peaking again.
I think asses are done.
Yeah.
I agree.
Tits are so back. We finally did it.
We've had like 10 years where it's just been asses.
It was we.
Yeah, I mean, you finally.
American culture has been putting asses on a pedestal.
Tick guys are on top.
Yeah.
We're on top.
Sidney Sweeney is single-handedly bringing back tits.
Are you a tit guy, Mook?
Always been.
It's our moment right now.
Yep.
Tits are back, boys.
Deal with it.
Ashes have been...
I don't know why they can't live in harmony.
Yeah, I've always been a both.
Yeah, I'll take it.
I've always been...
I'll admit it, I'm both, yeah.
No, but...
Heavy is all across.
You can't be both.
You gotta decide if you had to get rid of one.
I don't have to.
It's asked by a fair margin.
See, you're part of the problem. I thought it was just part of humans evolving.
What do you mean?
So you want to get tits?
Do you have titties?
Oh.
No.
I like when they're kind of long and loose.
Bring them out.
When they're what?
They're swinging around down there.
Tits are back.
Yeah.
Tony Sweeney's doing it for us.
She was incredible on SNL
I only saw the clip
But didn't we scientifically prove
Hey give me Musgraves
Oh yeah
Musgraves is looking pretty good
Was that the person on the left?
Yeah
Yeah she was throwing heat too
She's just cool
That Casey Musgraves
I thought we proved
On one of these shows that uh it's she's
aided by being so short oh yeah we did oh yeah we put her tits on uh on shack on shack and they
were small titties the only thing i don't like about the the uh sydney sweeney is that i didn't
know that tits became political what yeah people are like wokeness is dead look at that tits became political. What? Yeah, people are like, wokeness is dead.
Look at these tits.
And I'm like, I thought that was, I don't understand it.
Ice cream, tits?
Like, these are the things that we should be able to come together. No, lids don't like tits.
They don't?
Yeah, they don't like tits.
Yeah, they say it's like a mega thing.
I've never stopped liking tits.
Tits are famously mega.
But, like, that should be, like, tits and ice cream.
Like, what can we agree on as Americans?
You would think, yeah.
You would think.
Do we just come together on milk-based things?
Yeah, I think so.
Dairy products, cheese, yeah.
Cheese, titties, and ice cream.
If you can smash a can with your boobs, then that's awesome.
Yeah, but why would you...
Disagree.
Let's let the men talk about it.
No.
Don't need that.
No. Okay. No thank Don't need that. No.
No thank you.
I picture as a guy.
I don't need props.
Being able to really like.
I don't need you pulling your cell phone.
Yeah.
From between your titties.
Oh no, that's a hot move.
When they can hide little bottles of alcohol.
Yeah, but I don't need a smash.
I don't need Hulk titty.
Imagine if I'm like playing video games, she takes the controller and just.
That's cool.
No, but the no pockets leggings, like I got my phone in my tits.
That's a hot move because that's where the dick goes.
See it.
Look, there it is.
I don't think that is where the dick goes.
The dick does can go there.
That's where the dick goes.
It can go there.
And they're just kind of letting you know.
Like, look what I got, a cell phone. I guess the dick could go there. The dick can go there. They're just kind of letting you know. Like, look what I got,
a cell phone.
I guess the dick
could go anywhere.
Well, if the cell phone
can fit in between tits,
you know my dick
can fit in between tits.
I gotta tell you,
if you don't have boobs,
it's very awkward
when that happens.
What?
Oh.
You're trying.
Oh, no.
Yeah, because it doesn't
feel good for the woman.
But then if you stop
trying, then it's like...
Wrong.
Oh, the G-spot's right here.
Oh, yeah.
Have you ever watched
a titty fucking video?
The woman's moaning.
They must love it.
Yeah, you haven't made a girl cum?
Bringing a girl to completion
from titty fucking?
They're like,
oh, this is so hot.
You know they like that shit.
Have her screaming.
Screaming while it's titty fucking.
Yeah.
She liked it more than me.
But dude, you know tits are back when Nadeau was in Sweeney's corner too
Well no that's the opposite
Well Nadeau was like I don't even like white girls
I don't even like white women
But Sweeney
But Nadeau called a great rack
24-7-365
Yeah but it's you know she's the only white girl in Nadeau's team
He said that?
Yeah
He said I don't like white girls
Someone was talking shit on Sweeney.
He quote tweeted it and said, you're a fucking idiot.
I don't even like white girls.
She's fine as hell.
Go off.
Zah's been Zah.
It's all about Sydney Sweeney right now.
It's taken Zah for a loop for the last couple of weeks.
So Zah is right now, he's out on the road with Tommy Smokes,
Glennie Balls, and Nikki Smokes for Storm Chasers.
They're at Duke, right?
Yeah, look at this.
I'm just going to shoot you all straight.
Her cleavage is a home run and I don't know anything about her personality.
Respectfully.
What would her personality change?
There's nothing.
I'm going to shoot y'all straight.
Now, were all the SNL sketches about titties
There was the Hooters sketch right
There was a Hooters
It was all
Sweetie Todd made an appearance too
Sydney needs to
Like say no
Don't pigeonhole yourself
No I'm okay with it
Yeah I'm down
She's talented man
And funny
Very funny
And very talented
Probably smart as fuck too
Really smart And those tits And tits Very funny. And very talented. Probably smart as fuck, too.
Really smart.
And those tits.
And tits.
I wish guys had something that I could be like, oh, yeah.
They do.
Humor.
Yeah.
Guys are funny.
Yeah, actually.
Girls have tits.
Guys are funny. Yeah.
That's how the world works.
I forgot.
I forgot.
I'm sorry.
That's what makes us go around.
Yeah. What do you think?
Nicky Smokes is going to do something very dumb on this trip.
I don't think he makes it 12 hours.
Nicky Smokes on Duke's campus right now?
I don't know.
No, I think they're playing NC State tonight.
He might not know when to storm.
They might lose and he might storm.
He might storm with eight minutes to go in the first half.
That would rock.
Yeah, and he and Tommy Smokes, they're very polar opposites.
But they're both related.
Yeah, they're cousins.
Smokes family.
By the way, Factor Meal.
Eating better is easy with factors delicious ready to
eat meals every fresh never frozen meal is chef crafted dietician approves and ready to go in just
two minutes you'll have over 35 different options to choose from every week including calorie smart
protein plus and keto also there are more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling
good all day long what are you waiting for get started today and get after your goals two minute meals fuel up fast with factors restaurant quality meals that are ready to heat
and eat whenever you are pancake smoothies and more discover a wide variety of easy options for
the entire day like breakfast midday bites and more no prep no mess meals factor meals are ready
to eat heat and eat so there's no prepping cooking or cleanup needed flexible for your schedule get
as much or as little as you need by choosing your meals every week.
Plus, you can pause or reschedule your deliveries anytime.
Head to factormeals.com slash yak50.
Use code yak50 to get 50% off.
That's code yak50 at factormeals.com slash yak50 to get 50% off.
Mook, how was Miami?
You looked so painfully out of place yeah yeah i did but i mean
the jeans came on and i became a dangerous man wow what's that mean the the jeans came on and i was i
was just a different person what does that mean i was a rain i was a rain maker in the club oh i
was making is that your wild shirt, it's the wild shirt.
That's a cool look.
That's at Komodo.
Oh, great restaurant.
Great restaurant.
Best meal I've ever had.
Only in Miami.
My friend threw up on himself last time I was in Miami for a bachelor party at Komodo.
Was it The Bachelor?
No, it was not.
It was 11. That was taken at 6 in the morning at 11.
That was awesome.
And then that's 8 a.m.
You look dangerous.
Yeah, it was dangerous.
You were putting in work.
Dude, the jeans.
How are your sleeves so rolled but not high?
Yeah, how big is that shirt?
It's a big ass shirt.
What the fuck, dude?
It's a big ass shirt.
That is a big ass cuff.
But they look fine there, right?
Did your arm shrink at the club?
I don't know, dude.
There was this woman there named Pocahontas, and she took all my money.
Eleven is the greatest place on earth.
It was heaven.
Have you ever been?
No.
It's a club that never closes, and there's like 300 of the hottest strippers in the world just walking around.
So it's not really a strip club, but they just walk around being like, do you want a private dance?
Yeah, they have three lines. They come over from Columbiaumbia they learn three lines of english what's your name where are you from do you want to dance poppy yeah and it's quite the place it
was like wait like you're playing like nazi zombies in call of duty it was like waves of
strippers yeah humming at you all night and they're all gorgeous and yeah but then it's like
the actual club is a club so it's not there's
not like strippers out in the main area and mook said he offered to like move one back and save
her and be like hey let me give you a better life in chicago yeah which would be a substantially
worse life living in your apartment here's my room yeah i said that to every girl i said you
can come home with me if you want back to chicago i'll make your life good and no no takers no takers hey when are you going to perth we had to what yeah because uh he
wants to go up at that the legendary comedy uh uh establishment in madison yeah didn't want to
make him miss that so we got the flight uh changed we're going to pick the date. Which will lead to some type of punishment.
He will be punished.
He will be punished. He should have to go the other way.
I think maybe we'll have to do something
with the return flight, maybe a layover.
Just make him go the other way.
Where's the other way?
How far does it go?
Which way are you going to go?
You're going to go LA to Australia?
You've got to go to Germany.
It's the exact opposite. That's pretty sick, actually, Mook. You'll be able to say.A. to Australia. It's the furthest boat direction. You've got to go to Germany. It's the exact opposite on...
Dude, that's pretty sick, actually, Mook.
You'll be able to say you flew around the world.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, you should have to go the whole way back.
I'm thinking a long, long Middle East layover.
Yeah.
That works.
Okay.
That's, I mean...
I deserve it.
I should be going to Perth on Thursday.
Oh, is this Thursday?
Oh, no, no.
Mook, you don't deserve it.
You're just going to do a comedy show that you want to do. Yeah, but this Thursday? Oh, no, no. You don't deserve it.
You're just going to do a comedy show that you want to do.
Yeah, but I'm the type of guy, I feel like I deserve it.
No, he deserves it.
Yeah.
We got you a gift.
You looked a gift horse in the mouth, and now you pay.
Okay.
I'm ready.
Fly me out.
Well, no, you're not.
Yeah, that's the problem.
Literally, you're not ready. That's why we had to move it. You weren't ready. ready yeah you were not ready ready for the punishment the second part yeah i was also thinking making him wear tux
on the plane or a dress something uncomfortable high or a big ass plug just don't put me in jeans
yeah oh yeah oh lucas's pants oh yeah that's not a bad idea lucas he didn't harm those pants did he we
need those pants he tried to burn him he didn't okay he's gonna wear that he's gonna try those
if you try those pants out once in public you're gonna just shift who you try it out with like he's
gonna just go out with yeah he wants he wants to be that pant guy right right you don't you don't
leave your house with those
on being like, this is the last time I'll
ever wear them. And if they don't have your size, you just
don't buy smaller. That's not how it works.
He bought women's pants. Yeah, he did.
He definitely did. Do you see the shorts he hoops
in? Yeah, those are also very short.
Tiny. Tiny. Him and
Stefan play 1v1 out here often in
tiny little shorts. Both battling
back and forth in nothing.
Stefan got married this week.
Oh, congratulations, Stefan.
Congrats to him.
That looks like Corey was the videographer.
Oh.
And Corey Smutledge.
Huh.
A lot of people went.
It looked fun.
Who went?
Oh, Tech Eye.
Zupi.
All the guys from the tech in New York.
The dorks.
Yeah, the nerds.
Did All Business Pete go? I would love're there. Did all business Pete go?
I would love him there.
Stephanie, did you go?
No.
No.
Well, she didn't meet Stephanie.
She doesn't like any of those guys.
Last six months.
Good job getting her name right.
I know her name.
Oh.
Hey, we're...
What?
Me and Stephanie are in some talks.
About? Hmm? what me and stephanie are in some talks about what are these talks about stephanie has volunteered oh
to produce wrestling whoa stop this now big cat why would you say that why would i why on earth
would you say that also we're boys hold on hold on big cat why do you why is? Why on earth would you say that? We're boys. Hold on, Big Cat.
No, no, no.
Hold on, Big Cat.
Why is it always your instinct?
Why is it always your fucking instinct to just step on me?
It is a stoppable thing.
Yeah, Nick, there's no reason for me to stop it
when Dave will stop it in a month.
It's only going to get a million views an episode.
Yeah.
I want to see it start again so that we can stop it again.
That's always your instinct.
Are you really going to take my master's?
I can't talk about that right now.
Stephanie, do you like wrestling?
Oh, she does.
She loves wrestling.
Oh, Simba chaser.
All right.
Wait a minute.
That guy that went through the glass table.
Darby Allin.
Is he dead?
Oh, yeah, that was cool.
Have you all seen that? No, no. Things last match last night, Darby Allin. Is he dead? Oh, yeah, that was cool. Have you all seen that?
No, no.
Things last match last night, Darby Allin took a questionable bump.
Why is it questionable?
He took a bump.
He was on a ladder in the middle of the ring.
They had set up a big glass pane.
Real glass.
A real glass in between four chairs.
Holy shit.
That's what he, ah.
You can't really see the glass pane until he hits it but it's a just
huge sheet of glass and he also lands on that chair it's pretty rough he takes some serious
bumps he takes the worst ones right does that mean does that imply that he's practiced that
not practiced but he has no fear of the first time just like i'm gonna do this yeah you can't
practice that he just did it you ever do anything like that when you're wrestling, Kyle?
He's done some questionable bumps.
Yeah, what did Kyle say?
Sorry.
I would take a dive into the scorekeepers to get injury time.
30-second breather, yeah.
Same thing.
I'm excited for wrestling. Can we revamp the logo?
Theme song, maybe?
Theme song. You designed the logo. Egg Roan might be here tomorrow revamp the logo? Theme song maybe? Theme song.
You designed the logo.
I think Rone might be here tomorrow, by the way.
Really?
What?
He's going to be in Milwaukee tonight.
I was like, just come down.
He's like, maybe I will.
So he probably won't be.
I'm hoping he will.
Miss him.
Questionable bump.
When's the first episode?
Are you going to have a big guest line?
I don't know.
We're talking right now.
She just came to me last week and said she'd be
willing to do it if I was willing to do it and
we're looking at the
things and what not
if you ever want me on to share my knowledge
I don't
you're gonna here you go
well it's gone too long
I put Stephanie up to that
to ask you to bring back wrestling
she doesn't know anything about wrestling I put Stephanie up to that to ask you to bring back wrestling.
She doesn't know anything about wrestling.
I feel bad.
I didn't think you actually agreed.
I didn't think you actually agreed.
Stephanie, that's kind of fucked up.
Oh, no.
I spent the whole weekend.
Just kidding.
No, that's not true.
No, it isn't? I don't know where I am. I double got you. isn't? No, I don't know where I am.
I double got you.
I double got him.
No, I don't know where I am.
I double got you.
No, I won't rest.
Stephanie, we're good.
Yeah, no, I did not put her up to anything.
Yeah.
That you know of right now.
Yeah.
Well, you didn't know about it until I said it.
Oh, I knew about it.
No, I didn't.
I didn't know anything about it.
You're going to get branded back on the pill.
I didn't know anything about it
oh that would have been so mean if i did that imagine i'm mad at myself that i didn't think
of that we're working on it have stephanie just have brandon recording wrestling just
never record it did you talk to seth rollins when we were at the super bowl
you texted me that you shared an elevator with him i did yes uh yes. An hour after that, I shared an elevator with him.
Remember I told you I was very awkward.
I didn't know what to say.
And I was like, so y'all are out here in Vegas, huh?
Oh.
He had been looking down.
Because he knew you.
No, no, he had been looking down, and before he answered me,
he made sure he stared at me.
So, Big Cat, if you're me, I said, so.
Hey, Seth, I want to suck your cock.
That is you.
You got to hit the elevator stop button.
You got to hit the elevator stop button.
Say a real thing that I would say.
All right.
Hey, Seth, I have this wrestling show that does 100,000 views
if you only look at the last three of them.
Would you come on it?
Okay, he went.
Yeah, that's how I would respond to him.
And he stared?
Yeah.
And then what?
He stared about a second and a half, then he answered.
And that was like, he gave me the pre-answer stare.
That could be CTE.
No, I don't think so.
Will Compton does that a lot.
He just stares anyway.
That's lag.
He has to calibrate.
Yeah, it's like the speed of light.
Like, it takes a little bit longer for messages to get inside.
Will Compton's got dial-up internet brain.
Right.
Yeah.
He can't think and talk on the phone at the same time.
Yeah, when we did pro football show this year,
I'd have to, like, slap the table every now and then
and bring them back to light.
I'm excited for wrestling to be back.
We'll see.
What do you mean?
We're in the planning stages.
We've got to go quickly because WrestleMania is coming up.
April.
Yeah.
What city?
Philadelphia.
Oh.
Hell yeah.
Jason Kelsey just retired.
He did.
Mm-hmm.
Sad day.
Sad day for all the Philly people.
Trying to get us out there, Stephanie.
We're working on it. Go to Mania. To WrestleMania? Final us out there, Stephanie. We're working on it.
Go to Mania.
To WrestleMania?
We're not going to Final Four that weekend, brother.
We're not going to Final Four?
Oh, I might be going to Mania.
Are you fucking serious?
I'll be at Final Four with you, Ty.
Is that serious?
Yeah.
Are you being serious?
I am being serious.
I'll be at Final Four.
I need a new host for my show.
I'll be at Final Four.
All right, yeah.
You can do both.
That's not what happened.
What? No, what happened? You came to me and asked. No, no, no, no, no. I'll be a final four. All right, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You can do both. That's not what happened.
What?
No, what happened.
You came to me and asked.
No, no, no, no, no.
Play it all the way back.
Okay.
How did it all start?
Don't know, because I don't know how far back we're going.
Okay, so in 1977.
Okay.
There was a woman and a man.
I think you're too far back.
Wait, what year were you born?
I was in 79. Oh, so in 1978, there was a woman and a man. Wait, your too far back wait what year were you born i was in 79 oh so 1978
there was a woman and a man well your parents met a year before they had you well here's here's the
rub i'm not sure they knew each other before the night she got 1978 two strangers in the night
well it was at a jerry jeff walker concert they were at a jerry jeff walker concert
i love learning about you that's not a real name and they and they said
let's create a demon child and then that's not i think they just wanted to go fuck oh okay and
that's how you're created yeah wow hell yeah yeah that's actually the most like that's the most love
you could be created from from a concert yeah just yeah the lust that's pure love that's passion
i'm not sure it was lust so much as no options.
A lot of people have kids and they plan out like,
all right, now's the time we got to have a kid.
We got to start training.
No, your parents are like, let's just do it.
Yeah, just get it out of the way.
No, Brandon texted me saying,
make sure I'm included in March Madness.
So I can go with Titus.
Right.
And then I said, okay, I will.
And then I made sure it was.
And then Hank said that Wrestlemania might have gotten sold
and so if it's going
for dollars we'll have
Brandon go to Wrestlemania which
Final Four also is for dollars and
we'll go to Final Four. You were going to tell me this
when? When it got finalized.
When it got finalized. It's not finalized.
Jerry Jeff Walker songs.
It's not finalized.
Pissing in the wind. We literally just did it like the other day. Railroad Lady? Why didn't you tell me the other day? I hadn't Walker songs. It's not finalized. It's not finalized. Pissing in the Wind.
We literally just did it like the other day.
Railroad Lady. Why didn't you tell me the other day?
I hadn't seen you.
He was scared of you.
We were doing the Mints thing.
What were the songs?
What does it matter?
I'll be there.
Up Against the Wall, Redneck.
You're kind of hurting my feelings, Ty.
No, I'm excited for you to be there.
Hairy-ass Bill Billings.
I thought we had a...
All right.
Who gets the show while you guys are away?
They're doing the show while they're gone, Mook.
Trashy women.
They're going to be in different places.
Titus.
It'll probably go with him.
Yeah.
I'll go ahead and take the show.
You got the kids.
I might not ever give it back.
You guys should split it.
You guys should...
Is Tommy available?
Out of divorce.
Ooh.
I don't know that I'm going to send...
Oh, I got someone.
I'm not going to send him to France.
Oh.
Rico will be at the final. Oh, yeah got someone. I'm not going to send him to France. Oh. Rico will be at the Final Four.
Oh, yeah.
That'd be great.
That would be great.
You guys have great chemistry.
We actually do when we do.
No, you should actually.
You should just book Dave Portnoy.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I don't think he knows what most people say.
We'll do Dave.
I'll just have Dave.
Yeah.
Mostly sports with.
No, it's a money thing.
It's not a Brandon thing.
He's not like, I don't want to go to Final Four.
If we have to have, if we get sold to both places, we have to have someone at both places.
Oh, that's fine and well.
I just, there was a time before.
I hadn't told you.
Right this second live on the air that Brandon could have shared that.
It's not finalized yet.
Then why are you saying it now?
It just kind of slipped out. It fell out. We started talking wrestling. It's not finalized yet. Then why are you saying it now? It just kind of slipped out.
It fell out.
We started talking wrestling.
It's all right.
That's what happens with wrestling.
That's what happens when wrestling is back.
You're kind of hurting my feelings because I'll be there with you.
Also, it wasn't the last three.
Stanford Steve will probably be there.
Time out.
I'm excited about all of that.
I'm excited about all of that.
What I'm not excited about is hitching my wagon to a guy who,
as we were playing in the show, was like, here's the way I see it. You're a Big Ten basketball guy. I'm an about all of that. What I'm not excited about is hitching my wagon to a guy who, as we were playing the show, was like, here's the way I see it.
You're a Big Ten basketball guy.
I'm an SEC football guy.
We will have total domination over college sports because we have football,
we have basketball, we have the two conferences that matter.
This will be what mostly sports will be.
Now, all through college football season, I'm stepping up.
We're talking college football.
I'm in this song and dance with Brandon.
Now the calendar shifts to March.
It's time to talk a little college basketball.
It's your time.
It's my time.
Here's the thing.
And I need my partner there.
I need my Robin.
Okay.
I need my number two.
I don't know this.
I need my number two.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
I need my Robin.
You need your Chris Bosh.
I need my Chris Bosh.
No, no.
Where is he?
I'm not sure I'm a Robin.
He's at WrestleMania?
I'm not really a Robin.
Aren't you a Robin?
I'm not a Robin. Can't fit in this. Yeah, you're not really a Robin. Aren't you a Robin? I'm not a Robin.
Can't fit in this.
Yeah, you're a Robin.
Man.
It's tough.
It's tough.
It's tough.
We'll make it work.
I'll make it work.
Lots of one pack here.
Not a Robin.
I might have Dave.
No, you're a Robin.
Whatever else fill in.
Also, it wasn't.
Yeah, yours is Robin Quivers.
Yeah.
Robin Quivers.
Exactly.
Exactly.
It wasn't three straight that had done 100,000.
It was the last seven that had done 100,000.
Oh, you don't even care about this.
Yeah, exactly.
We are one or two months away from Brandon coming to me like, listen, man.
No, I love mostly sports.
I think I'm going to do wrestling now.
I think this is what I'm going to do.
Unbelievable.
What do you guys say all the time on the show?
Family.
Yeah, I thought it was family.
TJ, do you want to chime in here?
TJ, where are you going to go?
Also, tell me where to go and I'll go.
Brandon has a different family than I have.
I was planning on going to Final Four.
Should we spin the wheel for TJ?
No, no, no.
Let's do a ladder match for time.
Who gets Ebo?
Who gets Conor Griffin?
TJ goes to the Final Four.
You make that call?
TJ's a big wrestling guy, though.
No, I don't.
WrestleMania is a pretty big deal.
TJ likes wrestling. It's not the Final Four, though. No, I don't. Wrestling is pretty big deal. CJ likes wrestling.
It's not the Final Four mania.
Damn.
I was trying to get.
Did Brandon consult you before Quick Picks?
No, no.
Heavens no.
No, he doesn't.
Yeah.
He doesn't.
Well, I don't have to.
I mean, I can do things.
You don't have to.
No, it'd be nice to.
Y'all see those jeans on the floor?
It sucks getting breaking news live on air.
Yeah, breaking news live on air when I'm putting my heart and soul
into this show and I'm being told
this is... Where would you rank
mostly sports? Like fifth priority? One.
Is it fifth? What the hell? Oh, Yak?
What the fuck? Yeah, what about the Yak, dude? No, don't do that!
Well, you just said that. That hurt us.
Crazy. Two.
Number two. Right behind
the Yak. 1A, 1B, really.
Alright. Where am I going going i don't know we'll
we'll deal with that in a minute i'll probably have to go to wrestlemania too
the perfect jeans that'd be awesome if you had to go to wrestlemania final four weekend
go ahead brandon you guys should just do a zoom show there was a year that pft went to hong kong
for the rugby uh during final four i think it'd be funny to have a Zoom show. There was a year that PFT went to Hong Kong for the rugby during Final Four.
I think it would be funny to have a Zoom show.
It's a real different.
Yeah, because then you get WrestleMania takes and Final Four takes.
But don't say which.
I'll mix all the takes together.
Yeah, yeah.
That seems like an easy solution.
I'll go to both.
Saturday, I'll go to WrestleMania.
I've done that before, TJ.
The year that Undertaker's.
That was Dallas and New Orleans.
Dallas and New Orleans. Dallas and New Orleans.
Went, flew, watched Wisconsin get my heart ripped out on Saturday night,
and then flew and watched my heart get ripped out with Undertaker.
Wait, you guys made two straight Final Fours?
Yeah.
14 and 15.
There was like a dozen questions about that, right?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Saturday I'll go to Final Four, and then Sunday I'll go to WrestleMania.
Fine.
Deal.
And then you've got to go back to the Final Four.
Deal. That's what I WrestleMania. Fine. Deal. And then you gotta go back to the Final Four. Deal.
That's what I did.
Okay. Perfect.
The Perfect Genes team gave me
this whole script to read and I'm literally reading it
word for word right now including this sentence.
Whoa, meta. That said,
I actually tried the gene
and it's fucking awesome,
but is this still the script for me?
You'll never know.
Good sell.
Today's sponsor, The Perfect Jeans,
finally solved all your denim difficulties.
They make great-looking, perfect-fitting jeans
that are as comfortable as sweatpants.
All right.
So I got these jeans,
and we got these jeans in a little bit ago.
I took mine home this weekend.
I wore them out to dinner with my wife Friday.
Unbelievably comfortable pair of jeans.
Did the wife like them?
It's crazy what a good pair of jeans will do.
Remarkably comfortable pair of jeans.
They don't feel like jeans on you.
They feel just like comfortable ass, really good pants.
They're just phenomenal.
The Secret, a special denim fabric that's super soft and has the perfect amount of stretch
so you can squat, do yoga, or just sit around all day and then without ever wanting to take them off.
The Perfect Gene also has free shipping, exchanges, and returns.
You can have peace of mind knowing that your order is completely risk-free.
It's finally time to stop crushing your balls and uncomfortable jeans by going to theperfectgene.nyc. Our listeners get 15% off your first order, plus free shipping, free returns, and free exchanges
when you use code YAK15 at checkout.
That's 15% off for new customers at theperfectgene.nyc
with promo code YAK15.
After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them.
Please support our show.
Tell them we sent you.
Fuck your khakis and get the perfect gene.
Whoa.
Hell yeah. Fuck your khakis and get the perfect jean whoa oh hell yeah fuck your khakis fuck you khakis all right hell yeah so we got it all settled yeah great weight has
been lifted i guess i'll hold down the fort here yes oh yeah Oh, yeah. Yeah, fuck. I'll actually be in Rome, Italia that week.
Final four week or the week after?
April 2nd to 8th.
It's on both.
When's the 8th?
That's six days after the 2nd.
That's national championship night.
Oh, I can meet you in Italy for a scheduled purse.
Because you know we need you back on that Tuesday.
Oh, shit.
We're going to have to have you back on that Tuesday.
Wait, really? We'll figure something out out we're really not good with communication oh yeah you'll be back i'll be back you're coming back the eighth yeah
okay you'll be good yeah what is what do we need they won't they'll be traveling back the
the eighth the ninth we're probably the eighth is that with donnie Nick? Or that's like our own? I'm taking a vacation.
Hell yeah, that's awesome.
Why are you hollering?
I don't know.
Whatever.
The mini golf tournament.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. When is that?
I didn't even know what day that was.
That week.
Okay.
We're building a mini golf course in the office.
Oh, sweet.
It's going to rock.
I got really into that last time.
It's going to rock.
What day is it?
I think it's going to be, I think we're doing, and no
one quote me on this,
I believe the setup is going to be
Wednesday. I'm back.
Yeah, Wednesday's during the day, round one
and two. Wednesday night
will be a cut. Wednesday
night will be round three. Thursday
night in primetime will be round four so that
we're not going up against the Masters. I didn't't know the dates but i have seen the plans and it looks
is there a theme yeah can you say don't i don't think there's a theme yes brandon hand up
what if one of us had tickets for the first time in his 44 years of life to go to the masters
you won't be in the mini golf team. Not 44.
I've been on earth for 32 years.
We have a lot of people.
You're not taking my Masters.
It's not your choice. I talked about this on
I can't. What day are you going, Nick?
To the Masters? Yeah. It depends on what
Mama says. How did you obtain these tickets?
My mom
was in the lottery for
her husband for 10 years and then he died and then immediately the lottery for her husband for 10 years,
and then he died, and then immediately the lottery gave her the tickets.
That's bad luck.
That's, well.
For him.
Those are cursed tickets.
So she gives me the Masters tickets,
and last year for whatever reason I couldn't go for some reason,
and this year I can.
No, you can't.
But Nick is trying to take them.
I'm not trying.
She offered them to me.
What'd she say?
Read it.
And this was...
Read it.
This was last Thursday.
Read it.
So at the comedy show,
I called Mama live, said hi,
and Brandon called her and said,
fuck you, and hung up.
That's right.
And she said,
thank you for trying to warn me about him.
It would behoove him to remember that I am still in control of the master's tickets.
Purple devil emoji.
I asked if I could go.
Mama's on demon time.
It seemed I cannot call the mini golf.
I have to go to a real.
Your excuse.
Yeah, thank you.
I didn't even want to tell you.
So I left to go.
A lot going on. A lot going on.
A lot going on.
A lot of planning.
A lot of shit going on.
A lot of shit going on.
Speaking of which, TJ, when are we doing goalball?
Oh, yeah.
Like April, mid-April. We also have something next Wednesday. Are yeah. Like April, mid-April.
We also have something next Wednesday.
Are we just dumping everything in mid-April?
Wait, it's the week after Masters, right?
Yeah.
I believe Chase said it was like the 17th, 16th, something like that.
That's goalball.
It's the dumbest thing ever.
The blind ball that we played.
I wouldn't mind playing a little today.
I wouldn't mind it either.
I wouldn't mind playing a little today. I wouldn't mind playing a little today.
Nancy ruined our blindfold.
Oh, we can make other
blindfolds.
I think we should play a little goalball.
Of course he got paint on them.
We haven't played goalball in months.
So, Kate, we discovered this.
It was where blind people play.
Paralympics? Not Special Olympics.
So, two goals, one on either end.
Everybody's blindfolded, and you just try to roll,
and you try to score a goal.
Oh, I love that.
I think we should play 1v1 so there's more goals.
Well, who's never played?
Kate has obviously never played.
I don't know if Kate's back.
I'm still out of commission, but I would commentate.
Well, let's just spin the wheel and get a bunch of 1v1 battles going.
That's fine, but the two-man goalball where you might run into each other is...
True.
How do we decide that there's...
Well, no, no, no.
One team has never been beat, correct?
Yeah, me and Kyle are...
Oh, yeah, all right.
So we got to just beat you guys.
Yeah, we're...
Dynasty?
I think you're a Dynasty.
You're saying Dynasty?
You guys have great chemistry together.
You and Kyle.
Blind chemistry.
Hmm.
Blind horse would be sick.
Yeah, should we do the show together?
Yeah.
Interesting.
We could get Kyle to the Final Four.
Huh.
So Kyle was booked.
Probably should wait until Kyle's here.
He was booked for Wake Up Mincy this week, and then Mincy left.
Yeah, he's never going on.
Is this an off week officially for Wake Up Mincy?
I believe so.
It must be.
No, not officially, but it has become one.
This is supposed to be an on week.
Doing a great job of building momentum.
This tennis thing is only a day, I thought.
Crazy question.
Do you think he is going to move the on week into what was previously an off week now?
No, I think he has to go to Ole Miss for something.
Okay.
Or the SEC basketball tournament.
The SEC basketball tournament.
Yeah.
So we're not going to make up this on week.
We're just going to.
God, come on.
It might be a full month before he's live again.
Yeah.
He's just canceling himself.
What?
Getting out of it?
They can't cancel you if you cancel yourself.
That's true. But he does
O'Dude Wipes how many episodes? A lot.
He might have to do a few episodes in a day.
Yeah, do them all. If he does
50 episodes in a day. Kyle, you were
booked for Wake Up Mincy and now he's just not doing it.
Yeah, what happened?
This one? Yeah, weren't you booked this week?
No, that was like a
fake out. That's like a
publicity stunt that we're doing. Oh, okay. Uh-huh. You guys are like the new, that was like a, that's a fake out. He's a, that's like a publicity stunt that we're doing.
Oh,
okay.
You guys are like the new,
uh,
what was it?
Kimmel and Damon.
It was.
Yeah.
Push for time.
That's you guys.
I was just getting into the flow,
waking up with Mincy.
It's still got,
it's,
it's got momentum.
What is the longest
singular run that show has had like days in a row yeah like nine episodes weeks well three the first
one the first one's the longest right did it go three weeks in a row but he did break it up with
a pre-recorded that oh that's why i went like what season are we on now three
three season three wait when was the first season that that was that ended with the the big first
of the big one right oh that was the big one that's the big bang oh and then the second season
was only four episodes and ended with him spoiling surviving barstool yeah right that's right That's crazy Now the third season has come back
But it's been really choppy
It's a strange release schedule
Yeah
It's like the dragon show
What's that called the new one
When are we ever going to get that again
House of the dragon
Mid season break
To get people more hyped.
Yeah, I forgot that show.
It'll be out in like two more years, probably.
Yeah, nobody cares anymore.
I don't know how people do that.
It's a binge watch.
Have you guys seen a lot of the Oscars movies?
I've seen one.
I don't even know what's nominated.
I saw Oppenheimer.
Oppenheimer and Arby.
They haven't had the Oscars yet?
No it's this weekend
Oh we're going to see Sweeney again?
In my mind Oppenheimer won all the Oscars
Why don't we see Sweeney again? What's she been in?
I think they're just everyone knows
that they're going to clean up
I want to see that one that everyone says sucks
the cat lady one or whatever
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Madame Web
She's barely in it but yeah Thank you TJ Lady One or whatever. Do you know what I'm talking about? Madame Web. Oh, yeah. Fat Sweeney? Yeah, isn't it?
She's barely in it, but yeah.
Oh.
Thank you, TJ.
Sorry, KB.
TJ, you seen them all?
I haven't been to the movies in five years.
I thought you went and saw Dune.
No.
Hank and Rudy.
It was Dune, too.
Yeah, was Dune good?
It was good.
It was long.
And I didn't get the sexy popcorn.
Why not?
I know.
I wish I could have. Who was it that Connor Griffin went and said they were sold out get the sexy popcorn. Why not? I know. I wish I could have.
Who was it that Connor Griffin went and said they were sold out of the sexy popcorn?
Connor Griffin, he really is the, he tweets like it's 2012 and I fucking love it.
Connor?
Yeah, he had a tweet yesterday.
He was just like, excited to see Dune today.
Oh, no, that was because of the, that was the joke with Brandon.
Oh.
Where, and I tagged Brandon, He kind of left me hanging.
He didn't respond.
But I was setting it up for him to say two chicks at the same time.
But he did not.
Wait, what?
I was at the bar with Connor Griffin this past weekend.
I'm doing two this weekend.
You got really amped up when Tate McRae came on.
That's for sure.
Yep.
That's for sure.
That's for sure.
That's for sure.
That's for sure, for sure.
Throw that motherfucker.
Look at that.
Oh.
Wood. What am I looking at? That's the Dune popcorn, dude.. That's for sure, for sure. Throw that motherfucker. Look at that. Oh. Wood.
What am I looking at?
That's the dune popcorn, dude.
You reach your hand into the worm mouth.
Yeah.
What?
Everyone's joking about it, but people absolutely are doing that, putting their penis in there.
Yeah, for sure.
Chase couldn't fit.
No.
Oh, yeah.
Chase is in Disney World right now.
What?
I think.
Yeah, with his kids.
Chase begged me to start a pic show with him.
The second we started it, he just stopped coming to work.
That sucks.
Yeah, how many of those has he been on?
Sounds terrible.
He's been on like 30% of them.
Just abandoned you like that?
That's crazy.
That's not really what.
That's crazy.
Wait, who's on Quick Picks today?
Me and Megan.
Can I join?
Sure.
I got a pic.
Good.
Come on.
It's right after that.
Last one to be canceled within two weeks.
Minus 3,000.
Does that make you feel good?
Yeah, it does.
Does that put a good feeling?
Yeah.
My friends laughed.
My friends laughed.
That put a good feeling in your belly.
Yeah, it did.
Really did.
I watched the joy in your face.
And what's even going to be better is when I do quick picks today and I actually give
that one to you.
It just hit it twice. I got to be honest. I'm do quick picks today and I actually give that. Just hit it twice.
I got to be honest.
I'm a little shaken up.
I'm out of it.
I almost died yesterday.
What?
Big carbon monoxide leak in the apartment.
How does this keep happening to you?
Your apartment.
I know.
It's the new, yeah.
Is someone trying to kill you?
I don't know because the dryer duct was unplugged and my dryer's in a little closet and I couldn't
see it and it was just pumping into my apartment.
So did you get sleepy? I got real sleepy, bad headache
and then the alarm went off.
Oh, so it worked. Yeah.
And then I had to call.
Oh my God, what if you had died? I know.
Before seeing Clemmer
versus Mincy 2? Imagine.
That's the only thing keeping me going.
But it was just, yeah, it was unplugged from the back of my dryer.
I was doing a load of laundry and...
Damn.
Yeah.
How long did you have to be out of your apartment to open all your windows?
I went to go see Dune 2.
The Dune's 2 amount of time, but they're coming back to fix it today.
Holy shit.
This is the second time.
Yeah.
First one was your fault though, right?
Yes.
No.
Why?
I hit the stove on.
Oh.
Yeah, that's 100 of your fault
are you trying to kill yourself yeah so cool i had two brushes with carbon monoxide yeah
years a stove isn't carbon monoxide that's just regular gas right yeah oh yeah yeah just regular
gas yeah i i don't want you to own a car rock me to my core
or a garage
or any sharp objects
it's not like I'm collecting knives
oh no the signs were all there boys
and you did nothing
ta ta
Kyle I've been
I've been reading the Columbine book again
and I've just been the Columbine book again,
and I've just been thinking you would like it.
Dude, I'm so... I read all of the transcripts.
Oh, you did?
Tried to listen to the audio.
I'm out of that.
That's not a Kyle likes killers.
It's more like I've been diving deep into a tragedy.
That is your...
Uh-huh.
You like that.
The morbidity of tragedy. right yeah i'm on titanic
right now you are the exhibit's coming here i'm here now oh you already went no way i just got
here yeah it's like at the mall like up north a little bit yeah what how was it it was good it
was cool yeah it's cool it's uh um no spoilers. I won't say what happens.
Wait, how are you in it, though?
Are you reading a book?
Yeah, I got books.
I'm watching every YouTube I can find.
I'm reading a bunch of stories on the people that were on the Titanic and stuff.
Yeah, I'm going to save that for when I'm bored.
Titanic?
Yeah.
I'm saving World War II until, like, I'm 35.
That's a great year for world war ii
holy shit i'm forward to view yeah because there's i don't want to waste all these like cool
topics that dudes the problem the problem i'm running into with titanic is like i'm not really
sure what i'm looking for i'm not really sure like what the point of this is what the it just
gets it's like cool to get invested in one of these weird things yeah like wars you kind of
like studying the war
helps you understand
why the world is
the way it is today
right but Titanic
Titanic you don't really
learn any lessons
it's just kind of like
damn that fucking sucks
yeah
should have hit that iceberg
yeah a lot of people died
wait did you
have you done World War I
no I think I'm going to
start with World War II
yeah World War I I don't know if that'm going to start with World War II.
Yeah, World War I. I don't know if that's pretty.
That is how you go.
Yeah.
I think White Sox Dave is going on a vacation soon.
He's doing like all the World War I or World War II sites.
Really?
Yeah, he's doing like a historical European.
White Sox Dave?
Yes.
No.
How much is he going to retain? Yeah. I'mhuh. No. Yep. How much is that he's going to retain?
Yeah.
I'm not as into in-person artifacts.
I'd rather just watch a very well-produced YouTube video.
They did release on Netflix World War II in color, which rocks.
Yeah, that's really cool.
So much World War II.
What is the other shit?
It's endless.
Ken Burns?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That guy just makes long-ass shit. He's done all the wars, hasn't he? End of Burns. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That guy just makes long ass shit.
He's done all the wars, hasn't he?
And a brother.
Oh, got to start a brother.
That's so good.
Masters of the Air.
The D-Day book is, I read that.
That one's really good.
Yeah.
It's long.
What about Vietnam?
I feel like that's interesting.
Ken Burns did Vietnam.
I don't think so, because we kind of lost.
But that's interesting.
Nah, we don't.
We were heavy favorites.
It's no different than tunnels.
We were the bad guys, too.
Yeah, we were kind of the bad guys.
It's also no different than like, yeah, if your team loses a big game,
you don't watch SportsCenter the next day.
Yeah, you avoid the hype.
That's what we've been doing with Vietnam for the last like 60 years.
And that's why John McCain didn't win, a reminder.
Yeah, we're just like, eh, we'll just pretend that didn't happen.
It's fun to not watch that stuff
and then do it again. Yeah. Hey, the Middle East.
Yeah, right. Exactly. 20 years.
Yeah.
Run it back.
Vietnam doesn't
war.
Don't do it. Don't do it, buddy.
You were right to stop me.
No, finish it.
I did relapse on it.
I watched that dude set himself on fire.
Wait, what happened?
That was for...
He protested.
Palestine.
Palestine.
Got it.
He really went for it.
It was just a white guy?
Yeah.
An active duty Air Force.
What do you mean, just a white guy?
I think when a Buddhist monk does Yeah, merely a white fucking weird.
I think when a Buddhist monk does it, it looks kind of bad.
It becomes a Rage Against the Machine album cover.
Yeah, and it's like, this guy's fucking enlightened.
He sees the world at a level I will never understand.
And when a white guy does it, I think he's just out of his fucking mind.
That's what it is.
Well, he was.
If you look at his Reddit history, all these people are praising him like a hero and i think he was just asians
have emulation privilege yeah i could do they do i'm sure i'm guessing he thought it would be more
covered yeah i kind of missed it i just saw a picture i was like oh that sucks i guess some
other dude like overshot like did it better on sydney sweeney's day Yeah exactly Yeah Sidney Sweeney's day It's the worst You couldn't have You gotta do it a different time
Can't do it on
On Sidney's day
Yeah
Hosting SNL
We're not on release day
Can't fucking do that dude
I mean they're just about perfect though
Yeah she knows what she's doing
On new issue day
Yeah
But it's perfect really what you want you know
Yeah
Little things that make you different.
It really is.
Can you finish the lyric?
No.
It's fucking driving me insane.
Yeah, do it.
Won't let you.
War.
I love this one.
Yeah.
What is it good for?
Sounds like you did it.
Good God, y'all.
If it was a dozen question, you'd spring up to answer.
You guys lost?
Categories war.
You told me you forgave me for that.
Yeah, we did.
Oh, that's starting to make sense now.
Oh, my God.
What?
Well, because the dozen thing, you didn't call me.
Something's going on.
We got to have a therapy session.
Brandon, in the match they lost, was asked about a 2010s.
The college basketball question was 2010s Big Ten basketball.
All right, wait.
Ask the question.
I want to know.
And were you playing basketball in the Big Ten?
Yeah, in the 2010s.
Yeah.
What was the question?
It was something like name this –
this 2010s Big Ten team made a Final Four with this path,
and it was this, this, beat Tennessee, yada, yada, yada.
Beat Northern Iowa.
Northern Iowa.
And the Sweet 16, and then Tennessee, and the Elite Eight.
Yeah.
And I forget the other two.
And we called Jake Marsh, and Titus is mad that we called Jake Marsh.
Yeah.
But Jake Marsh is usually really good with us.
I'm not mad.
He did it right?
We couldn't find him.
It's less about Jake Marsh.
My name never – you never even entertained me.
What was the answer?
Michigan State.
2010.
It was the –
Is that Valentine?
That's right.
And you knew the answer.
Oh, that was, what's his name on Northern Iowa?
Yeah.
Rook Manish?
Yeah.
That was awesome.
We lost to Tennessee, that Tennessee team in the Sweet 16.
We were at that regional.
Damn.
Which is something I wouldn't have done.
Oh, I was saying Tennessee play every year in the tournament.
If Brandon had called me, my name, it never even entered his mind to call me.
PFT is the captain of our team, so he decided to call Jake Marshall.
He probably has you saved as something snarky and couldn't find it.
I have a dumb question.
I have him as Mark Titus.
If you called up Mike Conley and were like,
can I get a million bucks, would he do it?
He's got so much money.
He's got so much money.
He just signed another extension, I think.
He's made $275 million. He's got a lot of money. Mike Con another extension, I think. He's made $275 million.
He's got a lot of money.
Oh, my God, Mike Conley?
Mike Conley.
Oh, yeah.
My first Tunnel of Chaos experience was going to a casino with him,
and he put on sweat.
He had gone to the casino the night before,
and he threw on the same sweatpants that he had worn the night before,
and he had, like, $10,000 in chips in his pocket,
and he just, like, tossed.
He's like, he goes, you want to play?
Here's a $500 chip.
We get to the casino at, like, 2 2 a.m i go straight to cash out and then i told everybody that i put it all in red and lost oh awesome that's so much money he's been pretty good for
a long time yeah yeah and he's also like universally the most loved NBA player.
He had one tech called on him in his career and they rescinded it.
Yeah.
Because it was Mike Conley.
I think Mike was like, you can't do that to me.
Yeah.
Like, that's a great point.
I think that's a video on YouTube.
Mike Conley's the only tech and the NBA just said no.
Yeah.
False.
He's beloved.
Great guy.
Great dude.
Handsome.
Handsome as well, yeah. who's the most beloved nba players right mike conley's up there um like by our players like so i would say like steph isn't
quite beloved i think he has some haters yeah he's oddly horny. Curry? Yeah. He's got another kid. What do you mean? What's odd about it?
He talks about it too much.
He does?
Yeah.
Does he?
There's swinging rumors.
He does post a lot of pictures with his wife, like, straddling him.
Yeah.
What's her name?
Aisha?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Who's the most beloved NBA player?
Amongst their peers?
Is Jokic beloved?
Yeah.
But do some people hate him though?
Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of haters.
Kind of like an asshole. People hate him
though. I don't think they hate him. They're just like
I wish he had more personality.
Sixers fans hate him. Yeah, there was a little
fans hate everyone.
I feel like there's like European
guys that everyone loves. Drew Holiday is
beloved. Don't people like Shaq?
Aren't they like, oh, there's Shaq.
Although Shaq had a weird...
He had some falling outs
multiple times in his career.
Yeah, he did.
The whole magic thing.
I think it's Mike and Drew Holiday.
Those are the two that come to mind.
I think you're probably right.
Yeah.
Huh. Huh. Huh.
Huh.
Huh.
Um, Boban.
Boban.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Boban's a really good one.
Boban.
Because the problem with being a likable NBA player in terms of being liked by your peers,
you can't be too good because then it becomes an ego dick-measuring thing.
A Dirk kind of beat that.
Yeah.
I feel like everyone loved Dirk.
Everyone loved D-Wade, didn't they?
His ex-wife.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, that doesn't really.
She doesn't get many minutes.
People like Halliburton?
But I think, yeah, they got to like Halliburton.
But I think to Jokic and Embiid and Giannis,
there's probably like a section of NBA guys that are like,
fuck that guy.
He's not actually that good.
Yeah, you need to be just good enough to not be good enough.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You guys want to play goalball?
Yep.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Do the high noon ad.
Let me set it up.
So we got to just beat Kyle and let's just play until we beat Kyle and Titus.
We're going to be here all night.
It's going to be days.
We'll just spin the wheel until we find a combo that can beat us.
Mook, have you ever played?
Yep.
Okay.
Today's episode is brought to you by High Noon.
The High Noon El Prez Pack is here featuring top four High Noon vodka seltzer flavors as
ranked by El Prez himself.
These flavors include passion fruit, pineapple, pear, and an all-new flavor, tangerine, all
made with real vodka and real juice.
This 12-pack is only here for a limited time, so get it while you can.
Just look for the pack with Dave's face on it.
You can even scan the QR code on the pack and have El Prez virtually join your party.
Visit HighNoonSpirits.com to find the El Prez pack nearest you.
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
Mm-mm-mm.
I'm nervous.
I was really bad at this last time.
And so you're all blindfolded,
and some blindfolded people are kicking at blindfolded goalies.
Throwing it.
You're throwing it.
Throwing it.
Okay.
Okay.
Have you dabbled in any blindfolded games or activities?
Not in a long time my brother and i played a game called hall ball that was similar where you had to whack we had
a nerf ball and you couldn't look you had to keep your eyes shut and the goalie and the person but
that was his eyes were open the entire time probably Probably. Yeah, now in hindsight, I lost every time.
And in hindsight now, he's saying it out loud. Every second, his eyes were open.
Do you ever blindfold wrestling?
That's not a thing, is it?
No, it should be.
I don't think it would limit you too much.
It's more of a feel thing.
I want to go to one of those meals,
like those fancy restaurants in Chicago that they turn off all the lights
or they blindfold you.
Oh, yeah.
There's a couple places that do that.
What's the thrill?
What's what's going on?
It's supposed to,
with your senses narrowed down,
you're supposed to like really be able to taste the food more.
I think it's a plot point in about time.
The rom-com.
Great movie.
Tell them one of these goals is on the wrong line.
I got one on three point and one on free throw.
Connor,
do you know what you did wrong?
With the nets?
Yeah.
That one has to be moved back.
Yeah.
As long as you know.
He's good.
Apology accepted.
I still can't stop
thinking about him talking.
We're on a chicken price
here today.
Hey.
Hey.
By the way,
you guys probably
aren't tracking on this,
but this Tart trip,
the Tart makeup trip,
you guys tracking on it? No. it is massive in the social media world tart is a makeup brand and they did a
huge influencer trip to like dubai last year or something like that and it took social media by
storm in girl world it's like the biggest thing happening and this year grace amali is there
it's in bora bora i think brand Fry was going to go, but she stayed behind.
And Grace is like, I know you guys are, but she's like the number one person.
I can't scroll TikTok without seeing her right now on all the other influencers.
She's like the belle of the ball.
And it's been really fun to see.
Is it like a reality type show?
No, it's to promote this makeup brand.
Got all these influencers to go to bora bora and
they have their own like island for the weekend or whatever and grace is just like she's going
viral on all the other influencers pages she's is it messy i think it's because she's next up
is there's a drama no i think it's because she's got personality and the rest not everybody else
yes that maybe does you were hoping it was messy, Kyle.
I thought it was messy.
Yeah, no, sorry.
I wish it was.
What's the conch of it?
Where's the mess?
I don't want to crap on the other girls right now.
There has to be some mess if it's going viral.
She killed someone.
There we go.
Clemmer's sleeping right now?
It's been fun to see.
Who?
Clemmer?
What?
He's already asleep.
What?
He is extreme.
Strategic.
I would try to sleep a lot
did he have like a dramamine
under his tongue like a cyanide pill
this is gonna be oh look at him
oh
sleeping his toe curled
oh look there it goes again
I would be you being one of
these boxes I'd be so nervous
why is he sleeping already
yeah I would get a boner.
We were talking about that, yeah.
We talked about it on the run-down.
You're going to get hard.
Yeah.
And he has to go to the bathroom in there.
His long snake just poking out.
Wow, a clumber cock shot.
It's only been four hours.
He's not even fucking close.
Yeah, I just would have brought
a bunch of sleeping pills
and just slept the entire time.
Look at his little feet
He's wiggling his little toes
He's cricketing
He's anxious
How is he tired so quickly
Restless leg syndrome
He said he was up late last night
He's only using one pillow
No he ain't
It's not even a pillow
Yeah what is that
Muttering
Is he singing
That looks so uncomfortable
There's no way he's lost his marbles already
Can we turn the volume on?
Oh, he's talking.
What?
What?
Oh, no.
Oh, this is going to be really bad by the end.
Oh, it's going to get dark.
This is making me think he will not make it.
It's going to get real dark, boys.
The second you fall asleep, you lose track of what time it is.
And that's what makes you...
Well, I think he'll have a gauge of time because he has meals coming in.
They're going to fuck with him, right?
Where does he go to the bathroom?
There's a urinal in there somewhere.
What about shit?
Does Clemmer do that?
I don't know, man. You can't be laying down to sleep
four hours in.
How many hours is it?
That disclaimer's not true.
The activities in this show are performed
by or under the supervision of a professional.
No.
Is a professional
around you please do not attempt
to form or reenact these activities in any many please no one
That's dangerous. Yeah
What oh, oh, it's a this say this for later
Okay Save this. Save this for later. Okay.
Oh!
That's pretty good. That's good.
Oh!
Bummer.
I don't know.
If he has to leave with an injury, I would have saved that stuff for day four.
We could go from the highest high of Barstool Sports on Friday to the lowest low in 72 hours.
I think there's going to be a medical evac.
He's four hours in, busting out the freak ankle already.
Yeah.
Yeah, no. Already did this one? You already did that?
Uh-oh.
That was 346 in?
He's burning all his materials.
That is amazing. He fit in there, though.
He has space.
No, that's a good one.
He's, like, comfy.
If you and him were traveling somewhere, and he said, I could fit in a suitcase if you want to save on a ticket, you think you could get away with it?
It would be heavy, right? Heavy.
We couldn't do it on a plane, but I'd do it on a train.
Yeah, a train would be great.
Or maybe a car.
Yeah.
The trunk of a car.
Or on the turtle thing on the top of a car would be really fun.
Yeah.
Imagine if you checked Clemmer on a plane.
You'd probably check him.
Mitt Romney's dog.
He's checkable.
Remember when that story came out?
His dog died?
No.
He said that in family vacations, they'd put the crate on top of the car.
Oh, yeah.
Just put the dog in the crate.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
Long, long road trips.
Yeah.
You convince a lot of people your dog.
R.I.P. to Stella.
The quote tweet was, yeah, well, of course, the two dumbest guys alive, Taylor LeJuan and Will, both text me.
Like, did your dog die?
The quote tweet had the context.
Happy Gacha Day.
Yeah.
But I did feel bad that I did a little bit of a Stu Feiner sympathy grift accidentally.
Yeah.
When Stu did that, when he was leaving his dog for one single day.
Oh, man.
I'm going to miss you so much.
Last walk with Aria.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's spin it and see who's playing against Titus and KB.
So put me, Nick, Brandon, Mook on the wheel.
Come on.
We got to win.
One of us got to win.
First to three?
Yeah.
All right.
I'm going to pee first.
And then whoever's not will just go second.
There's shirts right there we can use as barn forts.
All right.
Big cat and dick.
All right.
We got this, Brando.
All right.
Go.
Yeah, Connor, come announce this.
They need an assistant out there to get the ball for them, too.
Wide boy Rick.
Nice.
We usually have Che doing that.
Come get your seat and get in your announcer voice, please, Connor Griffin.
You have to do vocal warm-ups or you just get right into it.
There you go.
All right. A little more urgency on your part would help.
Just a little more.
Just any point you want to go ahead and – there you go.
Take your time.
Now, if you'd like to welcome everybody to this particular event.
Welcome, everybody, to the ACK.
And we are here live for goalball, second edition.
Actually, it might be third edition.
It's at least third.
Yeah.
And it is going to be Titus and KB taking on Big Cat and Nick.
Defending champions, Titus and KB.
Of course.
I'll text them right now.
I'll get Rick out here.
Oh.
Oh.
Well.
He's getting the dresses and warm-ups.
Also, yeah, that goal on the right, the frame is totally messed up.
All hands on deck out there.
If you're upstairs, we need some goalball help.
Not a lot of people here today.
I think there's a lot of activity.
Oh, wow.
Are those the short shorts?
Yeah, it's light up there.
Those aren't his shortest ones. It's light up there today, boys of activity. Oh, wow. Are those the short shorts? Yeah, it's light up there. Those aren't his shortest ones.
It is light up there today, boys.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That made it look like just –
I feel like he was naked.
Beat cheeks.
All right, boys.
The competitors are blindfolding up.
Look at those little pants.
I was going back and I was re-watching that clip from Thursday.
Because it was one of those clips like after Friday you kind of forgot that we spent the entire 15 minutes just roasting Lucas for his pants.
I think Lucas' pants might have been my highlight of last week.
And I know we had a lot of highlights.
It was shocking.
I know everyone explained what they would be like.
What? Does he just not know how to buy pants?
Look at these.
Well, he's from Florida.
Who cares? He's a Florida boy. All a florida boy these are my longest pants but also like him he's like well i moved
to chicago so i had to buy my first pair of pants and mook's like i'm going to miami so i had to buy
my first pair of jeans what are you guys doing yeah what's happening with these young gentlemen
oh big cat just walked right into the goal and knocked it down.
Yeah, Big Cat had an interesting strategy of getting blindfolded up
like 20 feet away from the net.
There's white boy Rick.
In you guys, when you guys do the pick-up basketball,
solid player, shoots every fucking time he touches the ball.
Never seen that guy pass.
Selfish.
Oh, yeah.
Wait, who, Big Cat?
No, white boy Rick. Just a complete ball hawk. ball. Never seen that guy pass. Wait, who, a big cat? No, white boy Rick.
Just a complete ball hawk.
Never passes. A decent
basketball player, but always shoots.
He's a physicality kind of
guy, and he knows that he could body anybody
down low. No, he's
kind of a finesse bitch.
Tries to play around the three
point line too much. Finesse bitch?
Yeah.
Alright, so what we have here is, you know what? Maybe. Tries to play around the three-point line too much. Finesse pitch. Yeah. All right.
So what we have here is, you know what, Connor?
What?
I'm going to let you announce this.
I apologize.
So we're getting warmed up right now.
All right, wait.
Who's going first?
Should it be the?
Are you guys blindfolded?
Yes.
Nick going with the lay down method.
Oh, I don't like that.
I don't like that at all.
No, hold on.
Nick going with the lay down. They're laying on top of each other. They're going with the lay down. I don't like that. I don't like that at all. Nick going with the lay down.
They're laying on top of each other.
They're going with the double lay.
This is a missionary in goal right now.
Going with the double lay.
This is not pleasant.
Oh, did he go for dick?
I think he's going for tickle.
I think he's going for tickle.
Oh, he's going for tickle.
The entire right side of the goal is exploding.
Oh, no, no, no.
Go doggy. We got speed bump, speed bump.
I feel like they got a 69 at it, really.
Okay.
All right, Titus is starting off on the opposite side.
He's going to roll first.
It's dangerous if he bounces.
That's a hard roll, and it goes right over the top.
Right over the top.
It might have been pleasurable, but not worth it.
So what, you have to roll it?
Yeah.
You can roll or bounce. Now, if they're standing like they are, but not worth it. So what, you have to roll it? Yeah. You can roll or bounce.
Now, if they're standing like they are, a roll is better.
What?
Yeah.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
You went really aggressive on that first.
This is, I think, the second or third time Nick and I have been on the same team.
He's been talking about the lie on top of each other plan for fucking months.
Oh, that was his idea.
That was his idea. He's been talking about it nonstop. He's like, we've got to lie on top of each other plan for fucking months oh that was his idea that was his idea he's been talking about it not something we got to lie on top of each other but
why it was so stupid it went straight over you guys yeah so one nothing titus and kb should have
saw that one coming i think if big cat if they 69 big cat was in a push-up position yeah that that
might work big cat with the ball.
Now this is where Titus and KB really separate themselves.
Titus was the best goalie of everybody last time.
Look, KB is.
Oh, right in the goal.
Right in the goal.
Overhand toss by.
Yeah, I don't know if does that count.
You got to throw it underhand.
Yeah.
I'll throw it underhand as well.
Underhand big cat.
Yeah.
So it must bounce at least twice and it has to be underhand.
I'm not sure if that's a real rule, but why not?
We'll make it up.
If I was them, I'd be windmilling my arms.
Big cat going with the multiple bounces.
Okay, be in a split.
Still one.
That one's going to slide in.
That's in.
Goal!
Bottom right corner just goes past Titus.
He got knotted up at one.
High scoring game here, boys.
There's no laying on top.
1-1.
KB now takes the throw.
He's feeling his way around, gets up from his knees.
Oh, no.
KB angles it with his foot.
He uses the foot.
That one is going to go way left.
I do kind of – I know maybe it's overdone now.
I do kind of want to put some mousetraps.
No.
That's what we did last time.
Oh, you did?
Okay, okay.
Great money.
TJ was a hound, and he was just trying to get somebody with the mousetrap.
Nick's trying to find the ball, not within 15 feet of the turn.
This is where white boy Rick is supposed to hand him the ball.
Yeah, Rick, you've got to be – you're the one that can see, man.
He was letting him dilly-dally around.
Yeah, Rick not helping at all.
Actually making things worse.
Big Cat laying down as if he's a turtle stuck on his shell.
He's probably been there before.
Yeah.
Now Nick is using a quiet approach.
Nick just rolls it right to KB.
A, B.
Brandon, if you saw Dune 2 last night,
you would know that what Nick just did was very similar to the sand walk that the Fremen do.
Shut the fuck up.
Wait, KB's got his headphones out?
That's a charger.
That's a phone charger.
He's using the phone charger as some sort of boring device.
This is genius.
He's making his own barrier.
He was using his shoelaces the last time.
Making his own barrier, boys.
But this is not his shot.
This is Titus' shot.
Oh, wow.
Kyle hogs the ball.
There's a ball hog.
Kyle jumps the line in front of Titus.
This has always been the chemistry of this team has always been great.
We're watching the championship team break down.
I just can't tell you how useless white boy Rick has been so far.
There you go.
And Nick and KB keep trying different methods.
Well, you're not Nick and KB, Nick and Big Cat.
KB and Titus are doing the same or different things every morning.
You're feeling it out at this point, Kate.
I am. Great commentary by me.
Big Cat on the approach.
I don't know if that's going to make it.
That's not going to make it.
A lot of bouncing.
Great D.
Great leap.
Now, I remember the last time KB was here
doing this in net,
standing on top of his head.
Yeah.
And it was probably the most athletic thing that we've seen on the act.
It was crazy.
Titus with the quick roll.
Another far left.
Now they've lost their bearings now.
Yeah.
Still knotted up at one.
Hey, were you guys blind out there?
Oh, Mook, you dog.
Hey, Mook.
Tell everybody how good I did at the comedy.
Dude, you were a star.
Thank you.
You're a natural showman.
Thank you.
It took him like two minutes to warm up.
I'm a little nervous.
Couldn't even get you off stage.
Couldn't get me off.
Just kept throwing jokes at me.
You could have did an hour.
Yeah.
Will you do it again?
Did you get the bug?
I'm waiting for Mot to ask me.
Literally whenever you want.
Hell yeah.
But I will ask you again shortly.
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Oh, distraction.
A bit of noise.
Missed the rack.
Oh, tough throw.
Oh!
It almost went off the post.
It goes off the shoulder of KB, then off the post, and it falls just out.
That would have been crazy.
Oh, yeah.
I caught some of Thursday's show, too.
You guys roasted me for your mom joke. Oh, yeah. That was very funny.. Oh yeah, I caught some of Thursday's show too. You guys roasted me for my, your mom joke.
Oh, that was very funny.
Luke, that did backfire. It was a hell of a walk-off.
You're Eskimo brothers with whose dad now?
Some random
guy in the audience.
Yeah.
Strong by KB.
Right in the goal.
Big Cat takes down the goal.
And it's going to be 2-1 Mark and KB.
If he'd been a second sooner,
you would have won. They're showing whether undefeated right now.
I mean, they're good. They're good, boys.
So, if we are playing to three,
a lot of pressure right here
on Big Cat and Nick to get a goal. Oh, yeah, they've got to get back
on it. Big Cat is
fully laid out. This is the
toddler tantrum
type of throw here.
Correct.
Face down on the floor.
Opposing himself.
And that's going to be a strong throw.
No bounces.
Right down the middle.
Well, right.
Like Ben Mintz driving an RC car.
Titus.
Another quick throw.
No hesitation.
Yeah, he keeps going wide left.
He can't get it straight.
He has no bearings.
Just working on my announcer voice.
I kind of like talking this way.
There you go.
Oh.
Body stop.
He's a butt save.
Butt save.
Did Titus butt save me?
He butt saved you.
Butt saved you.
Titus with an absolute wagon of an ass blocking that ball.
Talk about ass.
This team is full of ass.
It's a cake-top team.
Yeah, you're right.
KB has a very...
So KB the other day just started dancing in front of me,
and then he said, welcome to the big leagues.
It's okay.
Hell yeah.
Here comes KB with the roll.
Just while I left.
They both keep going there.
He was doing the ass-to-fat dance.
He was doing the ass-to-fat dance for 30 seconds.
Oh, that one's quick.
Titus is lean safe.
Titus is having a hell of a day in goal.
He's the best goaltender we have.
Hell of a day in goal.
One stop by Nick.
That's in front of it.
Big Cat's starting to panic.
Yeah. Still 2- starting to panic. Yeah.
Still 2-1 KB and Mark.
Rick, help him out, man.
Rick just standing there with both balls in the air.
Rick, you have both the balls.
Give him one of the balls.
There we go.
Nick very disoriented.
You don't have the fucking ball yet?
Oh, strong.
Sidearm.
Sidearm.
Way off.
Sidearm.
Now, that's legal, right?
Yeah.
It doesn't have to be.
Well, maybe.
Who knows?
KB and Tate is both on the very far edges of third.
I'd like to point out that Chuck is out there as well,
not doing a single goddamn thing.
I think he's keeping score.
His finger has a one.
The score is currently two to one and has been for minutes.
Yeah, he's keeping score on his finger.
Thank God Chuck is keeping score right now.
What do you guys play to?
Three.
We also have a scoreboard on the screen, Chuck,
so your finger's not really doing anything.
Alright, Titus is
in possession of the ball. No hesitation.
Line it up right here.
Oh, aggressive. Oh, it's a goal!
It's a ball game. And redirects
into the net, and KBMR
are still
your champions of goalball.
The ass boys.
Folks, final impressions of the game?
Oh, we're going.
I'm nervous.
That can't be me.
Brandon, let's do it.
Got it.
Gotcha.
KB's strutting Nick's playing on top of each other
worst idea
no because we make a big tall wall
I watched back to see how bad that was
a big tall wall
come on Brandon and Mook
we're not leaving until someone beats us
it is so much fun to play, though.
It's such an exhilarating game because you just don't know when the ball is coming.
KB's strutting.
You just rolled it around my head.
No, other way.
That might also be a female shirt.
You might need to get a male shirt.
Can I see it?
Can I see the next...
I'm winded.
Get another shirt from in the Gamma Cave.
This is Nick's big idea.
First of all...
No, wait.
I probably should have laid off on my stomach from the get.
But... I think you got to push up over him, big cat.
Yeah.
And be.
Yeah.
You added maybe.
It almost worked.
It was like two centimeters of height added onto it.
Damn.
That was a big idea.
Yeah, it was.
Yeah, I was very shocked when he was laying face up.
Well, how'd you know I was laying face up?
Felt your breath tickle in my neck.
Fuck, man.
Brandon still cannot figure out how to put on the blindfold.
No, he's really struggling.
He's got a big head. Big hair. Large breasts.
Okay.
Yeah, he still is not figuring. He's trying to do like a
headdress almost. You know what? If we had our yak do-rags here.
Oh my god. Well, Dion Sanders do-rags.
They're not ours.
Sold out.
Sold out.
Trent on all of them.
Come on, guys.
Please beat them.
Somebody give me a blindfold.
How is this so hard for you?
Brandon, that's meant to go over a torso and it doesn't fit over your head.
Blindfold me. Brandon, that's meant to go over a torso and it doesn't fit over your head?
Maybe they're... Are they cheating?
They might be.
I feel like Kyle is.
Kyle's phone charger.
He has like a safety rope.
Well, he's using it as a way of making sure he can line up where exactly the gold bars are.
That's bullshit.
Take that away. He was doing it last week. Or not last week. Last time with his shoe exactly the goalposts are. That's bullshit. Take that away.
He was doing it last week, or not last week, last time with his shoe.
You guys were making noise.
That's shenanigans.
No, shenanigans are allowed in the game.
This is just games.
No physical props.
Shenanigans are allowed in the bylaws.
Hold him.
Yeah, let's go now.
So I got the ball?
Oh, hold.
All right.
Mook and Brandon are holding hands.
Mook on his knees.
Yep.
Somebody give me a ball. Brandon with a large squad.
Titus.
Strong.
The roll.
Right off of Mooc.
Mooc's face.
We have to study them, Nick.
How are they doing this?
Titus is the best goaltender that we have.
How's he doing this? Well, Titus is the best goaltender that we have. How is he doing it?
Mook preparing to roll the ball.
All right, Mook wide left.
Two-handed.
A little bit of a bouncer.
KB swats it away.
Something's amiss here.
Are these goals the same size?
It feels like they're just doing a great job.
KB, no hesitation.
Right behind Brandon.
That's a score for KB and Mark.
They get out to an early 1-0 lead.
Seems like KB has some kind of sonar, like a bat.
He can sense.
Look how he's doing it where he's got his foot on the corner.
Oh, that's so smart.
Yeah.
He's covering.
Strong throw by Brandon.
Brandon rolls.
Only one hop goes right into Titus.
But even like Titus being.
Oh, they were holding hands again, Mook and Brandon.
To take a decisive 2-0 lead.
Titus with the roll.
Mook's leg is shaking.
Why?
His whole body is shaking. And he just collapsed as he went for the extra hit. Yes, I don't know what. It's very clear that Titus with the roll. Mook's leg is shaking. Why? His whole body is shaking.
And he just collapsed as he went for the X-ray.
Yes, I don't know what.
You're clear that Titus is rolling with speed.
That's what you got to do.
He keeps rolling with speed.
I don't think I ever roll with speed.
But like then it's just too loud.
I know, but you got it.
That's the only way.
Complete silence.
Luke is angled to throw this directly
into the axe studio. Now he shifts back
to the center of the court.
Fast
teamwork. I don't know if we could
ever beat them. KB swats it away.
That's what he's been doing this entire time. He's able
to sense that he could just swat it away with his left
hand. How did I score a goal?
It went in the far bottom right corner.
Strong roll by KB again.
Brandon saves it with the shin.
See, I think this is a – I think it might be a one-on-one game with these goal sizes.
Might be.
You know what?
That's what we'll do.
If they win this one, we should just have KB and Titus play each other.
Fracture them.
Oh!
That's KB and Mark. Huge each other. Fracture them. Oh! Oh! That's KB and Mark.
Huge goal.
Dead smack in the middle,
and Brandon to Mook tie it up at one.
Can Mark respond?
He does.
Oh, goal.
Mook was guessing.
Did Mook get five hold there?
That's how we ended it.
Oh!
I can't tell, it definitely went towards the center.
It might have snuck underneath his left leg.
But I don't know, we'd have to see replay.
But two one, KB and Mark.
Can Mook tie it back up right here?
Wow, ball went on.
But saved.
Great throw.
I think the secret is active hands.
Your arms do not stop moving.
Wasted throw by KB.
Force one of the day.
I think you gotta go,
you gotta get height on it.
Mm-hm.
Look how low Khaji's the only weakness they have.
Oh, too far to the right once again.
Do you have to throw underhand?
Go straight to Lucas.
Oh, do you?
I went sidearm a few times.
Oh, great save by Mook.
I like the speed.
Great save by Mook.
Good speed.
Yep.
He keeps this game alive.
Still 2-1, KB and Mark.
They need to score here.
They need to score.
Mook's gonna not even hit the net.
Lines up the shot.
Gets in line with the goal post.
And that one just goes left.
But it was the right idea.
Damn.
KB another quick roll.
Way wide right.
Yep.
He's nothing without his phone charger.
Yep.
Phone charger was everything. Way wide right. Yep. He's nothing without his phone charger. Yep.
Phone charger was everything.
Phone charger merchant.
Here comes Brandon now on the attempt.
Very precise with his delivery,
but it's gonna tail just right.
Still two one.
Titus for the win.
Put some English on it.
It's going to go just right.
Come on, boys.
We got to score.
Brandon's pants falling down a little bit.
2-1.
Strong.
2-0. Strong. 2-all.
He connects.
Moog on a heater.
Missed high five.
That's okay.
2-2.
Oh, Moog is feeling himself.
KB.
Got it.
Still.
God fucking damn it.
Still champions.
We are witnessing a dynasty in goalball,
and it is Mark Titus and Kyle Bauer.
You guys want to play so you guys can win?
Somebody can win?
Why don't you guys play each other?
Play each other.
Butts and blindfolds.
The KB and Titus story.
You guys have to play against each other. We're not playing against each other. No KB and Titus story.
They're going out on top it seems.
Nope, they're heading back out. When I was under the hood in the darkness, I was just having flashbacks of ass.
Yeah.
Just flashbangs.
At 11.
Just PTSD.
Yeah.
How much, can I ask, how much money do you think you spent?
A guesstimate.
Just on dances.
Just at 11.
On strippers.
900.
900?
And then the table. $900?
And then the table.
$900?
Yeah.
Yeah, but they really liked it.
Which I don't have.
They really liked him.
And that doesn't even include the table.
The table was like $15,000 for all of us.
Okay.
Between like 15, 20 guys.
$15,000.
So it's going to be...
A guy like me has never had to pay for action like that, you know?
Yesterday was very scary
Oh I bet
It was a very scary day
Your leg was shaking a little out there
I'm not doing well
Titus is going with the pregnant attack
The what?
Is this legal?
Sneak attack
Can he
You can do that and slack off
For months, even years even after the ball drops out
absolutely it's incredible highly recommend
we're lined up ready to go and you just you just did the mother aspect and i think there's
fathers here barcelona take longer than you do. Oh, absolutely.
Oh, sneak attack.
Dual save.
Wow.
But it got Big Head in the nuts.
It got him in the nether regions. I need to – is there a replay?
I need to see how that hit him.
Nuts on –
Immediate nut shot.
Say nuts on Yakku.
Nuts on –
Yeah, we got to see this.
How did that happen?
Well, let's see.
Right.
He did do it.
You jumped into it, big cat.
Can we add a doink sound effect to that?
Walks it off.
Yeah, he's all right.
He's a champion.
He's a winner. Well, technically he's not. He's a champion. He's a winner.
Well, technically he's not because they haven't been.
Big Cat, strong throw.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Strong throw.
Great strat, though.
Great strat, though.
Good response.
You got to chuck it.
KB looking to draw first blood in this one.
Right on the money.
If Big Cat had not moved, he would have saved the ball.
Yep.
1-0 KB and Mark.
So I've got to ask, what makes this team so good?
I think it's their constant motion.
Yeah.
Well, look, KB's sprawled out right now.
There's nowhere to shoot the ball.
I think he's got ears like a little bat. I think he can hear it. Yeah. Well, look, KB's sprawled out right now. There's nowhere to shoot the ball. I think he's got ears like a little bat.
I think he can hear it.
Don't bats use sonar?
I think he's got it.
Little wrestler ears.
Look at that thick ass.
Thick ass.
I mean, they're both, I hate to say it, they're both D1 athletes.
That's true.
Big Cat just faked it.
Oh, and it off the the post it almost worked big cat
fake the throw nick came through with one and it went off the goal post but did you see how kb knew
to shift at the last second he knew that ball was going yep titus with a quick roll oh another
blunder gets through big cat i think he's I think he's gun shy since the nuts well
You asked yeah went in to nothing KB mark
You asked what makes KB and mark so great. It's that they're the best goaltenders in the game true
Do y'all think they could beat the four of us? Yeah, I think so
Yeah, you got to aim high on these guys another
Right in the mitt KB got doinked You got to aim high on these guys. Another strong throw.
Right in the mitt.
KB got doinked.
He got doinked straight in the mitt.
Nick, you're good.
It's not a live ball.
That was a bounce off KB's face.
He's able to save it.
They're pitching a shutout right now. They got it.
They have a ball.
Oh.
Big Cat, way out. Way too far out. Oh, the net's it. They have a ball. Ball made. Oh. Big Cat, way out.
Way too far out.
Oh, the net's down.
The net's falling apart.
Big Cat is about seven feet in front of the goal.
Big Cat's at midcourt.
Oh, he's saved.
It goes backwards.
He's rolling.
Big Cat, Nick, you got to go high on them.
That was a great shot.
Shut up, Big Cat. He's trying to help!
I'm trying to help!
Man, spend $900 for not pussy.
$900 to edge.
It goes in the bank, right?
What the hell was that?
Heavy.
I understand the thought process, just too aggressive.
I believe they call that in goalball the elephant.
The way that the, you know.
Oh, that's going to go.
And that's a game.
That's a game.
Yikes.
3-0.
Clean shutout.
3-0 on the day.
KB and Mark.
Undefeated.
Undisputed.
That's insane.
Come on. I know. And it's just one of those things
they refuse they refuse to break their bond yeah can i see the nut shot that's the thing kb when i
have a partnership with someone yeah yeah we're tight we're rock solid, yeah. Yeah, no betrayal. Doink.
It came off your nuts harder than it went in. My left nut, yeah.
God damn it.
Fuck everything.
It really is demoralizing.
It's so frustrating.
The guys are good at goalball.
What do you want?
We're not good.
I think they're cheating.
They are cheating.
We're not even good.
I don't know how.
I'll figure it out.
I think KB's the best stopper and Mark's the best goal scorer.
I'll play you guys again right now.
I feel like it's the opposite.
No, Mark, you're incredibly cool.
And KB's got a great throw.
Good chance.
You guys are both –
We're two well-rounded players.
Watching you in the second game, you guys are both way better than everyone else.
You just got to tip your cap.
You guys are fucking awesome.
We're going to put you guys up when we go to the real goal ball.
We're going to put you guys up.
Yeah, we'll play the USA team.
What if we fuck around and, like, get a –
I honestly think you guys are that good.
We would have to induce a disability to get to play.
Oh, yeah.
We're not even close.
You guys are fucking awesome.
What if we go to the Paralympics?
Like, you and I. What's our easiest route into the. What if we go to the Paralympics? Like, you and I.
What's our easiest route into the qualifying for Paralympics?
It's like a spectrum of visual impairments.
I'm pretty sure they just give you goggles that make you fully blind.
I think anybody.
A temporary thing that miraculously.
I really want to see you guys play one-on-one, though.
One-on-one goalball would rock.
I just would never do that.
Just one of those things.
You've got to stand for something.
That's my only last chance.
Let's just have you guys play one-on-one and then call the winner the champion and have you guys split up.
KB, put his foot down.
KB, you're going to WrestleMania, right?
That's how we got to do it.
Gentlemen, I've got to go.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Bye, Kate.
Bye, Kate.
You guys are so good.
I'm seeing stars still.
I know.
Me too.
It takes you a while.
Get it right.
Boy, it was really a struggle for her to get on that chair.
Yeah.
You okay?
Her back.
Oh, did you guys know
he spent $900 on lap dances?
Yeah.
Not just on lap dances,
but you know.
Well, actually,
I thought you did say
just on lap dances.
I don't...
Yeah, it was a couple...
You know, I was getting
Ariel with it, too.
I was making it rain
here and there.
Ariel was one of them?
No.
Pocahontas.
You could understand.
Yeah.
I don't think you guys
understand because
you haven't lost how frustrating that game is.
Oh, yeah, I guess we just won.
I don't understand.
It is so frustrating to be blind and think every shot's a good shot and be like, no goal.
I don't understand how you guys trumped our wall technique.
It was incredible.
I don't know how we even score.
What are you guys doing? I don't know. I don't know how we even score. What are you guys doing?
I don't know.
I don't know.
All three of those went to Big Cat's legs.
I was at an opening, though.
We're laying down horizontal.
Did you guys watch us while we're not playing?
You guys are vulnerable to the top, and everybody else is vulnerable to the bottom, and we haven't
made the adjustment yet.
You have to go top shelf.
We're going under legs?
Yeah.
Twice.
Why are your legs open and i don't know i'm
very bad at this game no his or not no i'm spread out yeah should we run a clinic kyle and like yeah
i would i would i would sign up i would sign up i'd pay for the camp i would pay for the camp
three-day camp post a three-day we serve the price i'm there i'll be your first an intensive cam I would love to learn from you guys
because it is the being
blind and then like I said every
shot you feel like is good and it
sucks it's demoralizing
yeah
wouldn't know the feeling
I cannot relate
should we see if Brianna can come do the
gauntlet
will she be the second woman Oh, yeah, cannot relate. Should we see if Rihanna can come do the... The gauntlet?
Let's see.
Will she be the second woman?
No.
You say Rihanna?
Rihanna, yeah.
You got Rihanna in office?
No, Gia.
And Gia.
Well, that's interesting.
Steph, did you do it? She's wanted to do it.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
You got to do it. Got to do it. Oh, yeah. You got to do it.
Got to do it.
Yeah.
Steph, you got to do it.
Big Cat, new ad with you and PFT and Hank?
Yeah.
Billboard.
You directed that one.
You want to play it, TJ?
I didn't see this.
This was, I, listen, everyone knows,
I've been doing this a long time.
One of my mottos, I literally say no to nothing.
I say yes to everything.
It probably is to my detriment.
This one was as close as I came to saying, what are we doing?
It's shocking.
And they actually wanted the billboard to be an extension of the ad.
No.
An extension?
I said no to that.
Yeah.
I was like, I'd rather not.
Have you seen the ad?
No.
I didn't see this.
All right, here.
I'll send it to you.
Hold on, let me find it.
Yeah, we hit everyone with that on a Monday morning.
Where is it?
Do you guys have key cards to get
into the building? Yeah.
It's been weird today. My old one.
I just don't have one.
I just have the mobile, John.
Yeah, you need the login for that?
Yeah.
I don't have it.
Email Paige.
I have.
She's ignoring me.
I think they're waiting me out, dude.
Same card they got you in New York should work.
I gave that one to Feidelberg.
He never had one, and I thought it was different.
Let's see.
He was so excited.
To get a key card?
Yeah.
Oh, I found it.
Hold on, TJ.
I do not look good in this ad.
Oh, what could it be? This really pushes the limits of I will do anything for this company.
Did it take any convincing of Hank or PFT?
I think they both were like...
I think in that moment they were kind of looking to me to be like,
you're the one, you'll see why.
You're the one who could realistically say no here, and I didn't.
So, hey, listen, gets people talking.
Body armor's my favorite. gets people talking body armor is my favorite i only drink
body armor water the new body armor zero nothing to hide that's the name of the ad uh nothing to
hide yeah i sent it seems so that's
where we said the billboard's awesome yeah it's right in front of goodnight john boy yeah
hank uh hank is fishing with dynamite now oh yeah he went to goodnight john boy on uh
friday night and literally if you just look out the windows of Good Night John Boy, it's just Hank on
a building.
It's Hank's place.
That has to be the easiest layup in the history of trying to pick up chicks.
He's no longer going to try to cut the line.
He's going to be like hanging outside.
See that?
Yeah.
It's like waiting.
Oh, no.
Here we go.
Are we doing this?
I got nothing to hide.
Zero to hide here.
Okay.
What the fuck? Five armor, zero sugar. Zero to hide here. Okay. What the fuck?
Body armor, zero sugar, zero grams of carbon.
That's the angle that sucks for me.
Zero artificial sweeteners, zero to hide, just like us.
Woo-hoo!
Oh, my God.
Look at that.
Oh, that was good.
Yeah, that side angle was not great.
I think that's a good commercial.
You really had dicks out when you were shooting?
Did you have dicks out for that?
We had, they were like, don't worry, we won't make you have your dicks out Did you have dicks out for that We had They were like Don't worry
We won't make you have your dicks out
We have like these
Skin colored
Boxers
Could totally see our dick
Really really thin
That's not the best
But hey
Again
Anything for the company
I'll do anything
God dang
But that's a look like
That's how I'd look at a big dick
I'd imagine
Yeah
I think he was Yeah you don't raise your sunglasses For a little dick And that's a great'd look at a big dick, I'd imagine. Yeah.
You don't raise your sunglasses for a little dick.
That's a great physique pic. Yeah, I have a pose I can do where I can kind of pop my shoulders in front.
I look like the Alex Jones before and after where it's like I haven't done anything.
I just...
That looks great.
You just flex a little.
So you saw Hank and PFT's dick?
Yes.
Was that the first time?
Yes. Anything dick? Yes. Was that the first time? Yes.
Anything change?
Nope.
Hank's got a hog.
PFT has huge balls.
That was my scout.
So if you combine the two.
Yeah, massive.
Porn star.
Between the two of them.
Damn.
What a team.
Yeah.
Hank fluffed himself for sure we had our eighth anniversary
on uh last wednesday yeah it's crazy chris jones is our first story what chris jones dick oh the
dick flopping out no the first thing we talked about on the podcast wow yeah full circle yeah
wait how's that full circle you went went from his dick to your dick's.
Oh, yeah, yeah, good point, good point, good point, good point.
Always comes back to that.
I don't think Brianna's out.
Maybe she'll be here tomorrow.
Stephanie, do you want to do it or do you want to save it for tomorrow?
I'll make it easy for whoever has to set it up, and I'll do it when we have time.
Okay.
Has Roan done it?
No.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, has he? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, has he?
Yeah.
Oh, he didn't.
He did.
Roan and Sass have both done it.
Who in the office hasn't?
I don't know.
If we're just going around the office, I think there's several people.
Your friend, Irish comedian, Colm.
Yeah.
He's coming in next Friday.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
He's going to come on the Yak.
Good stuff. He better be good at soccer. Probably not. He's coming in next Friday. Oh, nice. Yeah. So he's going to come on the Yak. Good stuff.
He better be good at soccer.
Probably not.
He's good at drinking.
If you're Irish, you have to be good at soccer.
And drinking.
And drinking.
And drinking.
St. Patrick's Day coming up.
You guys excited?
You guys going to get fucking hammered?
Yeah.
Probably not.
For sure.
Might eat some corned beef and cabbage, though.
Fuck yeah.
I really want to get drunk on St. Patrick's Day.
Do it. Come out to Declan's with us. I don yeah. I really want to get drunk on St. Patrick's Day. Do it.
Come out to Declan's with us.
I just know how it's going to go.
Nah.
Selection Sunday.
Does this guy's phone number still work?
Let me shoot a text.
How many sips?
I won't see my kids for a couple days.
One beer down, I would just be like, oh.
This guy's still around?
Did you?
What?
Have fun in Miami?
A lot of fun.
Did it snow?
It snowed a little bit.
He was there at 6 a.m.
Well, 11 is a different world.
Time doesn't exist anymore. It doesn't. I was there at 6 a.m. Well, 11 is a different world. You could just stay. Time doesn't exist.
It doesn't.
One of my, I don't want to out my boy.
One of my boys got taken.
What do you mean?
We saw him at 1210 go for a dance, and we didn't see him again until 8 in the morning.
That happens.
Like, just fully taken.
And he's just like 20 grand in the hole?
I have no clue.
Yeah.
That's like, you don't ask questions.
You're just like, all right, you had fun.
Found the love of his life.
Yeah.
What are you going to do?
You can't deprive him of that.
Did anyone have a horrible time?
It's impossible at 11.
No.
I'm telling you, this place is not.
I promise you I wouldn't.
There were.
Never.
I've never been to a place.
You think Nick would be having a blast?
No, he would have fun.
He would not have fun at 11.
You would have fun.
And I'm not a club guy.
Let's turn it into content.
Let's have work pay for it.
I'll go and I'll spend
fucking five days.
I won't smile.
Yeah, no smile challenge.
I could still be there right now.
Yeah.
It's a special, special place.
Amazing.
I did have to learn
tip etiquette early on.
You know, they come up to you.
This girl had a conversation with me.
I was like, oh, she didn't do anything.
I gave her three bucks.
That's disgusting.
She freaked out.
Yeah, I would too.
I gave her two more bucks.
I gave her five.
I'm not sure you learned tip etiquette.
I did after that.
Were you the poorest guy there?
Oh, yeah.
By a lot.
We had some heavy hitters. They went back. After that. Were you the poorest guy there? Oh, yeah. Oh, by a lot. Yeah, by a lot. Yeah.
We had some heavy hitters.
They went back.
Did they pay for it?
What do you mean?
Did they pay for the table?
We all split the table.
We had our bachelor's dad backstop it and pay for a little bit more than we should have.
Got it.
But, I mean, the table was like $15,000.
Yeah.
No, I know. I've paid for a table there for a bachelor party,
and I was like, this is a lot.
A lot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Are those strippers millionaires?
They might be.
This might be a busboy.
They don't work in a busboy situation.
Is this a busboy situation?
I was offering them a better life, though.
Yeah.
Yeah, they smelled that on you.
They're like, this guy would be the worst life.
Oh, yeah.
All right, let's spin the wheel.
We'll see if Brianna's here tomorrow.
Maybe get her on tomorrow.
Stephanie will go.
Possibly Roan tomorrow.
Yeah.
Can you guys seriously teach me a little goalball after this?
Oh, no.
Oh, no. It's just as funny as the after this? Oh, no. Oh, no.
It's just as funny as the first time.
Oh, no.
That's two days in a row.
Yeah. Wait, where's Hank?
What's off the wheel now, Brandon?
Connor Griffin on the wheel?
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Donnie?
What do you mean it's off the wheel? We just did it the other day.
Yeah, but there was two of them.
Oh, there was two.
Every time I take it off, you say it stays on. Y? We just did it the other day. Yeah, but there was two of them. Oh, there was two. The shop remains.
Every time I take it off, you say it stays on.
Yeah, y'all never take it off.
Whoops.
Can we take it off now?
Like, it's not... Somebody's going to hurt their finger for no reason.
You know what?
Let's wait until tomorrow.
We'll ask for one.
No.
God, see?
It's not funny.
I did a foot test.
I still laugh a little.
All right.
It was funny when Jerry did it.
Yeah.
Everything's funny when Jerry does it.
Wait, do you have Donnie on there?
Moot spin.
Moot spin.
Moot spin.
Spin again.
Spin again.
Damn.
I was waiting to say it.
And Kate.
Yeah.
And Stephanie.
Yes.
No, she hasn't been on the show, has she?
She's talked.
She's talked.
Zaza was on it.
Okay.
It's true.
It's true.
Stephanie's down for anything.
Remember we did dress update and she dressed up?
Yeah.
It was awesome.
The dress update, we got to do it again.
You know what?
We should put Sydney Sweeney on the wheel too.
Have her fly her out.
Oh, damn. Oh, look at that. Have her fly her out? Mm-hmm. Ah, damn.
Oh, look at that.
Damn.
Look at that.
Stephanie was down.
Just.
All right, we can take it off.
We can take it off.
Why?
You think it's going to be you?
No, no.
I don't care if it's me or not.
It's just like.
No, we'll take it off.
How many times?
We'll talk to Roan about it tomorrow.
Roan's got to agree to take it off.
I'll say this.
We did towel whip once and took it off.
Towel whip's funnier than mousetrap at this point.
I agree.
We should do towel whip again.
All right, so towel whip should be instead of mousetrap.
Let's let Titus just put his finger in the mousetrap.
Yeah, that's a cursed wheel for you, Titus, to have the first.
That's okay.
I like the mousetrap.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
There's no way it's you, Brandon.
I don't care if it's me.
I don't really have the fear I used to have.
I just think this is diminishing returns at this point.
It's you, Brandon.
You're good.
I'm not good. That's Connor. You're good. I'm not good.
That's Connor.
You're good.
Oh, shit.
Next one.
Not good.
We're all happy about that.
Oh.
Final four.
TJ is always the boss.
It's the final four.
You guys are lost.
It's always the sports. Oh, look are lost. It's always this way.
Oh, look at that.
It's perfect.
Mostly sports crew.
Mostly sports.
Oh, man.
Tight unit.
Family.
Nothing can separate us.
Oh, and it's not perfect.
Would you look at that?
Would you look at that?
The wheel is so tough.
It's not funny anymore, Brandon.
It always delivers. It always delivers.
It always delivers.
One for Mark.
Brandon, this is the funniest part of the episode.
This is the best part of the episode right now.
All right, there you go, Brando.
Here we go.
One-1. Let's go.
Either of you want to be the bigger man and take it for your co-host?
No?
Okay.
I would have before.
Before what?
Oh, it's 2-1.
He got all sensitive about me getting a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
to go back to my second WrestleMania.
You only get to go to your second WrestleMania once.
Two-two.
That needs to be a shirt that you wear there.
Try to get attention.
Three-two mark.
Come on.
Now, Brandon, you lost in goalball.
There's no way you lose.
Come on.
Oh, baby. Oh, you lost in goalball. There's no way you look so good. Come on. Oh, baby.
Oh, boy.
Seven.
Hold on.
Let's get it set up.
It's right behind you.
Let's get it set up.
Throw to Titus.
Mm-hmm. It's a mouse trap There it is Brandon
It's been like
You know what
I'll do it
I'll do it No no no No no no Hey I'll do it I'll do it.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
He'll do it. He'll do it.
He spun it. It's too late.
But you have to do it now.
I said I was going to do it before he spun it. The wheel is just.
I can't fight the wheel.
Yeah, but you do it now.
Oh, it was me? Yeah, it was you.
You're not fighting the wheel. The wheel chose you.
Little mousey.
All right.
Let's have fun with this one.
Yeah, let's really get into character.
Mousey.
Mouse.
Little tiny mouse.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!y. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh.
I'll get that.
The smallest.
Right on the nail.
He got the nail.
He got the nail.
He got the nail.
Oh, no.
All right.
Oh, man.
Great yak.
Thanks, everyone.
Please subscribe. Maybe you're on tomorrow
see everyone tomorrow
bye It's the act. Get your straws, yeah. Silence, hey.
For a while.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
Get signed to talk shop.
We're doing it.
It's the act.
It's the act. bye have a great week everybody love you guys bye