The Yak - Goalball is the Sport of the Future | The Yak 1-29-24
Episode Date: January 29, 2024QueenYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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That voice you heard?
Yep.
Mm-hmm.
Hey. The one and only Nikki Clicky is back you guys the boys are back from Pittsburgh what a city I'm
from Pittsburgh oh my god who bumped into her oh yeah how would you describe
Pittsburgh to a foreigner what are the staples of pittsburgh uh rusty gray and fat i would say
rusty as in that's all every guy's name yeah that's true there's a lot of rusties it was
really gray too yeah bridges a lot of bridges that ham and cheese sandwich that sticks to the
roof of your mouth yep i had primanti bros four times bridges river football yeah but they don't they don't we could do that three words
for every city yeah that's cool oh i think bridges will come up a lot no number one they're really
bridge this guy's never been to pittsburgh yeah you've never been to pittsburgh oh it's so clear
you've never been i would have just said i've never been to pittsburgh oh shit all right well
i guess you kind of just came out and admitted it.
I came out and I'm not going to Pittsburgh.
I've been working on this story for four years and you just went and tweeted it.
Damn it.
Brandon's never been to Pittsburgh.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Football's got to be in there.
Pittsburgh?
It's football.
What about blue collar?
They don't support Pitt.
They want to say blue collar, right? All levels of football except college. Yeah. High school football. What about blue collar? They don't support Pitt.
They won't say blue collar.
All levels of football except college?
Yeah.
That's a wrestling area.
Wrestling?
One of the theory fucking goes. Hey, I don't say it about many places.
Football, steel.
I agree.
Blue collar.
I would take a Whippeal title over an NCAA title.
A what?
A Whippeal title. Western? Say it again. That's their district. Whippeal title over an NCAA title. A what? A Whippeal title.
Western?
Say it again.
That's their district.
Whippeal.
W-P-I-A-L.
W-P-I-A-L.
Western Pennsylvania.
Interscholastic Athletic League.
I like that.
Welcome back.
How was Pittsburgh?
It was a great time.
Great.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Great things.
You guys, that was a big place.
Three nights of shows.
Yeah, it was a little over 300. Yeah, i think it sold out was like 350 yeah is it intimidating
uh yeah the wonders got intimidated in pittsburgh nick did great who did the wonders they shit
shit down their pants the first time they played pittsburgh the wonders
anyways um we watched um we watched the royal Rumble in the green room.
That was the highlight.
And we did a pool with the entire staff.
Nice.
And I got Cody Rhodes.
They fucking won.
Did you know he's related to Dusty Rhodes?
He's brothers with Stardust, the old wrestler.
Got it.
You can hear more of that on my new show.
No.
No, it was a great time.
Yeah, sounds like fun.
It looks sick.
Unreal FOMO with that game.
The blindfold.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Kyle, you look fly as fuck.
Well, it was also a gift day for Kyle.
Yeah, that's right.
Kyle, did you take all your presents home?
I couldn't fit.
There's the shoes that I still got to bring home.
But everything else, I left the traction mat for you guys.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I used it.
But, yeah, just seeing you on your head, what the fuck?
What was that?
I didn't know you had that in your bag.
Yeah, that shit, it didn't play without context, I guess i don't think it did oh it did the clip was a little
confusing it was confusing it was no one knew we were playing blind ball and i had to stop the
ball with a sick clip but it also was like you're right out of context it it just didn't get the
yeah it looked like it looked like you guys were throwing it at him in the clip
because they didn't really see that you were playing.
That's exactly what it looked like.
Yeah.
That game, when we perfect it, is going to be electric.
Yeah, you guys got to play.
You guys got to.
We might have to play today.
I would love it.
It was one of those days where I walked away and it's like,
I get to do this for my job?
Look at that.
Look at KB all swagged out.
Yeah, you guys missed KB's birthday. Big mistake.
Right. Huge mistake. I'll never do that again.
I heard everybody laughing
when it happened and we're all blindfolded.
I saw you cheat.
You start to lift up the blindfold in that video.
Right after he got this, because I was like,
obviously something crazy just happened
so I looked up to see what's going on.
I cheated to win.
I put my shoe down to give it the right angle.
Wait, what?
That was cheating.
That was the right angle.
We never...
I looked down.
We never even came close.
I saw the floor, took my shoe off, pointed it toward the goal, and felt it up to hold
the ball out.
What the fuck?
Yeah, yeah.
I heard the eruption.
I didn't mean the rematch.
No, yeah, that didn't count.
Back to blindfold.
I also didn't realize that I was maybe six inches away from getting
mousetrapped in my nose.
Oh, shit.
TJ.
I think we should implement mandatory mousetrap.
I mean, we had him.
Look at this.
He put the mousetrap.
Look at that.
Huh.
It is such a fun game.
Oh.
I hope it translates to the viewers because we will play it again.
Is somebody laser pointering around it? Look at this.
Oh god. Oh!
Holy shit that was close.
It really is the dumbest game
How do you roll back? Do you roll back?
Ah!
Where is it?
Do we do no line?
So the issue there is that it would be
impossible to score
with both of your bodies completely covered.
Well, we need to do –
Bounce over.
Oh, yeah, never mind then.
What we need to do is – and I looked for it online.
I don't think they sell them, so we maybe need someone to build it for us.
But a goal that is about three feet high and the width of the baseline.
Yeah.
That would be the perfect goal because then you can play
like three on three and you can lie down but if you lie down you obviously give up mobility ideally
you're when you're lying down you're covering up like 85 percent correct but there's still holes
in it correct still bounce it over yeah but if we just get two more soccer nets and oh okay i didn't
look hard enough wait five thousand dollars yeah, just snag those.
For a fucking goal?
Wait, yeah, it's only five grand.
What the fuck?
That's it?
Got to be worth it.
How is it that much money?
Get five of them.
Get like six of them.
That one's seven.
How is that?
How?
How is it that much money?
Look how long it is, dude.
But I bought these goals for like 50 bucks.
Maybe we just need three of these.
Why are they five grand?
Yeah, just two more of these.
That makes no sense that they're five grand.
And we need to get the official goggles.
Oh, so this is a real game.
Yeah.
It's for the Special Olympics.
Love it.
But that doesn't matter.
The Paralympics, not the Special Olympics.
Wait, so non-blind, the special needs dudes play that?
Oh, I know the difference.
Never mind.
I got it.
Never mind.
Paralympics, yeah.
Okay.
Oh, yeah, so that's $84?
Wait.
We do need the ball, though.
Did I get a package here?
Somebody sent me a Quaffle.
A Quaffle?
Yeah.
Lauderdale did.
Lauderdale sent me a Quaffle.
What's a Quaffle?
It's the official Quidditch ball.
Oh, I miss Quidditch Day.
That's right.
I'm sad about that.
Yeah, you guys missed KB's birthday.
What the fuck?
I got Kyle a gift.
I got Kyle two gifts.
Where'd you get them?
I thought you got me the didgeridoo, like the 10-foot tall one.
That was Derek.
That was Derek, yeah.
Derek got you that? Yeah, he got you a big-ass didgeridoo. I got him a six tall one. That was Derek. That was Derek, yeah. Derek got you that?
Yeah, he got you a big-ass didgeridoo.
I got him a six-foot alien, so.
Right.
Wait, who's Derek?
Derek Taylor.
Okay.
He's my boy.
Same question.
We never introduced him to the Yak universe.
Derek Taylor hasn't made it here yet.
No, Derek Taylor got you that big-ass.
It's like 10 feet, isn't it?
The didgeridoo?
Yeah.
That's so long.
It makes a crazy sound. Do you want me to tell you what your gift is? Yeah. One of them isn't it the didgeridoo yeah that's so long it makes a crazy sound do you want me to tell you
what your gift is yeah one of them isn't in but one of them is next friday oh the movie wait in
in las vegas oh my god it is oh oh we bought him this oh this Oh Is this a thing
Or an experience
An experience Kyle
Oh no
Oh let's go
I got you two tickets
You and your beautiful girlfriend
Are going to go see
Shin Lim
Shin Lim
Yes dude
I got you really good seats
Who is that
He rocks
He's the best
Smoke magician of all time
He's a magician
A smoke magician
What is smoke
Like with
TJ would you
Blow O's
Dude I got you two tickets to Shin Lim
A vape magician?
Yeah. Oh that's sick. Thank you Nick
You're welcome man. Yeah I can't wait
They're sitting in my inbox
Um yeah dude
Fuck yeah. Friday night
Oh he does cards. Ew he's illusion
Dude. I love illusionists
He's the best of the best. Is he actively vaping on stage?
I can tell he's good.
TJ, can you just show us a smoke trick?
Holy shit.
That's cool as fuck.
Never knew he existed.
Huh.
Titus, we should have put Nick in charge of finding our show.
Instead, we're going to Carrot Top.
Yeah.
You're going to Carrot Top?
Shin Lim is right there.
He has a residency.
Is it Friday night?
Friday night.
I don't know when it is.
I'm not going Friday night.
What's Friday night?
Do we have anything?
No, it does. It's Thursday. Wait, but are you guys flying back Friday night? it Friday night? Friday night. I don't know when it is. I'm not going Friday night. What's Friday night? Do we have anything?
No, it doesn't.
It's Thursday.
Wait, but are you guys flying back Friday night?
I'm flying back Friday night.
I think we're Saturday morning.
Okay.
Make Saturday.
To make sure.
If not, we'll give.
No, I'm flying back Saturday.
Shin Lim is for sure. I want you to be more excited because Shin Lim is the premier smoke magician.
He also hasn't seen Shin Lim.
Wait, we've got to see Shin Lim.
We need a taste of Shin Lim. Morrow is coming on Wednesday. Give us some Shin Lim. also hasn't seen Shin Lim. Wait, we've got to see Shin Lim. We need a taste of Shin Lim.
Morrow is coming on Wednesday.
Give us some Shin Lim.
Morrow knows about Shin Lim.
Oh, of course.
We started a really tight friend group of those magicians.
I know.
Hanging out all the time.
I know.
Heartwarming.
Oh, yeah, he did win the FISM champion in close-up.
Oh, shit.
I don't know why I said oh, shit.
I think it's because I didn't expect him to be Asian.
Shin Lim.
I just realized the oh shit was before
a trip.
He's from Pittsburgh.
That's where I met him.
Any card?
Nick, you undersold it. This is more than just smoke tricks.
He is the best magician I've ever seen.
There's a lot of smoke.
He does a lot of smoke. He uses smoke.
Wait, he sees it.
Boys and Kyle's mentions,
get him amped up for Shin. I am amped up.
It's a sharpie.
But I also got you something else that's physical, that's
in the mail. Does it emit
an odor? No. He's really
moving like a chick.
Yes. He moves. Look at how smooth he is. He doesn't speak. He's really moving like a chick. Yes. He moves.
Look at how smooth he is.
Oh.
He doesn't speak.
He never speaks?
Perfect.
He does a little.
He's like Penn?
I don't know if he speaks English.
Is it Penn or Teller?
Teller.
Teller didn't speak.
That's ironic.
Yeah, look how slow he's moving.
Okay.
A lot of buildup.
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
What's it?
Whoa.
Yeah.
Gone.
Damn.
TJ, there's one of him on, like, what?
Did he win that Penn & Teller for us?
Yeah, I can't try that, though.
Oh, okay.
That's what.
I think he's won America's Got Talent twice.
Yeah.
Oh, amazing.
I'd rather see this than any musician.
Yeah, I swear.
Shin Lim is, you're going to come.
I was going to say, the way he's moving,
it makes me feel like he's going to make a girl come without touching her.
He just looks at him.
I was trying to buy you a vending machine, Kyle.
Oh, that would have been sick.
We could still do that.
Yeah, we could still do it.
It killed me.
It fell over on you
in your own apartment.
Oh!
Smoke!
Oh, shit!
Oh, shit.
There's the smoke.
Where the fuck?
Oh!
Where did the smoke come from?
Is the cart? Oh, fuck is it? Where did the smoke come from? Is the car-
Cocaine. Uh-huh.
What's he gonna do with that? That's pretty good.
Oh my god.
Is this guy like hot? Yes. Oh yeah, my God. Is this guy, like, hot?
Yes.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
Okay.
He's got me fired up.
Okay.
Following.
Following.
Oh, she's translating.
I don't know what she was talking about.
Oh, fuck.
Shin Lin.
Whoa.
Kyle, I'm going to need you to bring your glasses, though.
Fuck, I don't have them.
I'll get them this week to get a new pair.
You're just going to get new glasses.
I'm going to have to.
What do you mean?
Where'd they go?
Shin Lim.
Disappeared.
That's pretty good.
Shin's got them, dude.
What if he pulls out your glasses?
We haven't bought the Carrot Top tickets yet.
How is he doing this?
He's the best of the best, man.
Kyle has two tickets. He could bring you. This is insane doing this? He's the best of the best. Kyle has two tickets.
He could bring you.
This is insane.
No, no, no.
But maybe I'll go.
Okay.
Maybe I'll just appear.
It's good magic music.
Oh, he just made...
The whole deck's gone guys
I didn't even notice
Oh wait
He's so good people don't realize
What's he doing
Is Shin Lim next up or is he already up
He's already up
He's been up
Damn
Thank you TJ
Oh shit Wow next up or is he already up? He's already up. He's been up. Damn. Thank you, TJ.
Oh, shit.
Wow. Did it again.
Does he have a residency in Vegas?
He does. Okay. That's gotta be the coolest thing. To get a
residency. Let's go back to his mouth.
We gotta get more out there. Is there more smoke?
Oh. Oh. Oh.
What?
This is in 2015.
He's gotten so much better.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
No.
Shut up.
Now he's putting it behind his... What?
Wait a second.
Hey, now.
Shin, you dirty dog.
Oh.
Smoke!
Smoke is very cool.
Yeah, you're going to be a big limb head, dude.
Oh, I know. I can't wait.
I'm a shin limb guy.
Can you snag us t-shirts?
Yeah.
I'll get merch.
Yeah.
A mug.
I'd love a mug.
How about a shin limb?
He's too big for us.
I want a card that I can smoke.
That's probably the coolest thing you can vape.
He's too big to get on this, in the doors of Barstool.
That shit blows my mind.
Yeah, missed you guys, though. So you're going how's sass was he fun he's incredible great he yeah he crushed oh look at that is that
his merch store yeah you got it but is that can you go to shin limb with yeah it can't be that guy
who goes to shin limb with the shin limb shirt? Wait. Oh, dude.
That's a pretty sick shirt, though.
Yeah, we should have you decked out in limb.
I would wear some limb.
You got to wear limb.
Yeah, this is the shit I like.
No screaming, yelling.
What is he selling? Yeah, what is that?
Is he selling a trick?
Probably.
Is it just flawlesslawless DL?
I'm going to get that tie, too.
Oh, it's a download.
Yeah, so you get the trick instructions.
Gotcha.
Nice.
KB, you said you had bros out in Pittsburgh.
What was your boy Mac trying to do?
He asked for Nick's number.
I was like, what are you going to do, ask him to drink?
And he's like, no, I'm going to ask him to come over for a home-cooked meal.
Yeah.
I said, he's probably going to be a little busy.
He said, I don't care.
Yeah, and he invited me for a home-cooked meal.
I wasn't able to go.
I felt bad, but I did go to the show, which was a nice thing.
Yeah, he said it was awesome.
That's a real burden to offer to someone. To have to go to your house.
Yeah, he meant well.
Is he a good cook?
Has he cooked before?
He's funny if it's just mac and cheese.
He comes from a celiac family.
No kidding.
You'd have all the works for you.
Wow.
Wait, he doesn't have celiac?
He's gluten free.
All of his family members are celiac, so they know all the recipes.
All the recipes.
How's his bod?
It's good.
Banging?
Leaner than mine, but more ripped maybe.
Okay.
So two better things.
I'm bulkier as well.
You got a banging bod?
A fucking Stanley Cup, dude.
That shit's heavy.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
They have lead in them.
I don't know how the hoes do it.
Give them three of them. Did you see they just came out there? People have been testing them. They're poisonous. that shit's heavy yeah oh yeah they got lead in them i don't know how the hoes do it even three
of you see they just came out yeah people have been testing them they they're poisonous they're
riddled with lead and they're my bad fucking walking around with throw those out lat rays max
yeah they're heavy when they're that's what i was saying when like an ocean buoy when people were
like oh it uh it survived a car fire it's like but that feels like something might be wrong with
it yeah do we need our tumbler to survive a car fire right that's not really high on the list of things
i need out of my durango could like yeah i'm okay with it melting yeah i want destructible cups
um no i like it though are you hydrated freezing cold water yeah What's new with you, Brandon?
Do you feel like the Pat McAfee entrance was wasted?
No, I think it was maybe last second.
I think it was Brock Lesnar.
I think it was Brock Lesnar. Oh, what happened with him?
Well, he was kind of implicated in the Vince McMahon allegations.
Kind of.
Yeah.
So, I think he was planned to be in the Rumble.
They had to change course, and then they put a Pat McAfee spot in there,
and he didn't do anything. He just went in, went out not a great rumble but uh good winner mid rumble
cody is the winner is a smart decision so i like the women's more i did too and i like bailey as a
winner as well oh they got to get brock lesnar's daughter in that shit the shot putter yeah
colorado state all right yo might be, like, he might not be around.
He might be in a little trouble.
Brock Lesnar's daughter looks like me and Brandon combined.
You ever see that?
Wow, yeah.
I guess I get tagged in that tweet, like, twice a week.
Can we see her?
I don't want to.
She looks like Brock Lesnar.
Yeah.
You two combined look like Brock Lesnar.
Yeah, for sure.
Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Okay look like Brock Lesnar. Yeah, for sure. Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
Okay, she's handsome.
So.
Yeah, she does shot put.
Who came up with you and me combined for that?
I get tagged in a tweet like twice a week.
She's a good shot putter, I assume.
I'd imagine, yeah.
D1.
I think she's like the D1 leader oh she's like very very
good she'd whip every ass in this room yeah i'm afraid to say anything more yeah yeah that feels
like a fight i wouldn't want to take she's dating spider
she shot put spider tosses them around
oh man i wanted to bring up tightest i were talking about before but i don't know if you
guys know this jeff goodman guy oh all time like you never want your private messages released
to you you can pull it up so here's a quick
backstory this guy he's he's come at barstool i think a bunch too but uh they did someone did a
documentary about providence and ed cooley and uh jeff goodman's like best friends with ed cooley
so that's why he got into a fight with dave last year yeah right right and so he basically the the kid did
a documentary like as a hobby and uh jeff goodman like dm'd him and was like i hope you look good
and orange yeah being like you're going to jail buddy yeah and just an all-time like you never
want those direct messages to see the light of day going Going to jail for what? The kid was using clips, I guess, from like Fox, FS1.
So you're saying like Jeff Goodman must be the president of Fox.
He doesn't want the kid using it.
No, he's not.
He has nothing to do with Fox.
Who is he?
What's his deal?
He's a writer.
He's a college basketball writer who like gatekeeps everything.
Yeah, he has like no identity because he wants to like be the scoops guy
and like the buttoned up journalist, but then he also wants to be a takes guy he also wants to be like the fun guy that has
uh i'm just busting balls yeah and you can't really he wants it all he wants it all you want
it all you have nothing rovell type kind of um we're hard oh no, Ravel's different. Ravel's like a nerd. Like, he, Jeff Goodman, Ravel kind of owns, like, how much he sucks.
Yeah, Ravel's also a good, a really good guy, right?
I mean, like, it just, I don't think there's any evidence Ravel's not, but good.
I think he's a good guy who means well, but often fails.
That's probably how I'd describe him.
But yeah, so he said, pull it up again.
It was, told you you'd be getting sued.
Is your source Rob Douser?
Nah, my source is damn good though.
You honestly might lose a lot of money for this.
I don't think you will serve time though.
Got it.
Are you Team Shirts or Team Wade?
I don't even know who those people are.
How do you look in orange?
That's embarrassing.
Which is it?
You should hire a writer for this kind of thing.
I'm just making sure in case.
I honestly can't believe you produced that.
And then he goes on his Liam Neeson shit.
In the offseason, when I have time, I will track you down.
I'll track down who you are.
You are a bad human being.
He's really flustered.
Why did this doc rub him the wrong way?
Because it went after Ed Cooley, who he loves.
Got it.
And Ed Cooley went back to Providence this weekend, and it was electric.
I saw clips of that.
It looked so fun.
Providence fans were nuts.
I was nervous there for a second, though, that they were going to lose.
Me too.
I was like, this would be very bad.
I will say, I looked at the raucous crowd and i expected georgetown to be
like 18 and 2 but they were no they just hate them 6 and 11 we also had one of the best signs
best acronym signs i've ever seen oh yeah that was incredible um good acronym sign yeah great
acronym sign providence fans i feel like maybe the best ever for the most part just like they
just like to party
and yell at people
and I respect the fuck
out of that
yeah Owen went there
and then he had to be sober
Cooley
cheats on wife
oh hell yeah
that's perfect
wow
nailed it
so perfect
yeah that was fun though watching that game yeah it's great college sports like
can't be beat in that respect right so so real yeah it's so visceral it's so like that's that's
what like providence will be fine without him it was more that he just called providence home all
the time right like yeah they were gonna build a statue for the guy right and then he just called Providence home all the time. Right. Like, yeah, they were going to build a statue for the guy. Right.
And then he just bounced in conference.
Stabbed him in the back in conference.
Yeah.
And it's great because the next time they play there,
they're going to do the exact same thing.
This isn't just like a one-time thing either.
Every single time he plays there, they're going to.
It's also so weird for a guy like Jeff Goodman.
Like, your job is, like, the fans are who you serve, not the coaches.
Right. Like, if you're in journalism or you're in like the the media business like your job is to serve the fans
and he's just being like i'm gonna say fuck all the fans i'm just taking the side of this coach
what's the upside he wants to be boys with all the top coach so he also he hates rothstein and
he hates rothstein because rothstein doesn't go about it the right way like getting the scoops and shit and what's the author is who to get it what's the
right way right that's the point it's like the whole industry's stupid right um it's also the
scoops in college basketball there's like it's not even it's not like Schefter it's like there's
like one or two scoops a year that are like oh everyone's oh man i can't believe you got this right this guy's retiring that's the that's the height of the scoop in college basketball
what a clown yeah he stinks he uh i i saw him at the final four last year and he
uh i asked if he was going to come to our live shows because he was feuding with dave over the
the cooley stuff because dave was ripping on cooley and and jeff was telling dave he's wrong and um
so they got into a fight about it all and this was leading up to the final four i run into jeff
and i asked him are you going to come to the live show to talk to dave i think it'd be fun and it'd
be great for everybody and his excuse was i don't like his excuse was basically like i don't want
to kill dave too much because my daughter's with me at the Final Four.
I don't want her to see me.
Oh, my God.
Eviscerate.
Yeah, eviscerate Dave Portnoy.
I don't want her.
I mean, the claws are going to come out.
That's not the message your father should say.
I was like, all right, Jeff, if that's what you're saying.
This dude sucks dick.
Oh, my God.
Wait, is he an on-camera guy at all?
Yeah, but he's –
Can we get a visual on him?
Yeah, I just need to see what he looks like.
Is he a dork?
Kind of thick boy.
Not that thick.
A little thick.
He's got a face for radio and a voice for Brent.
We'll put it that way.
Yeah, there he is.
Oh, he's an interesting looking cat.
Looks like fake Matt Berry.
The Vince McMahon chin.
Oh, Ric Flair.
Ric Flair.
Ric Flair's done some bad things.
He kind of looks like he can fight
to be honest it does look like he can fight i take back what i said on his side that the face
and head ahead of a fighter yeah like he could eat a punch yeah oh man is it time to lock in on
college basketball now football is kind of i'm always locked in on college basketball now? Yeah. Football is kind of – I'm always locked in on college basketball,
but it's definitely time to transition.
I might get involved.
Yeah.
My body clock on Saturday was like, where's the football?
Yeah.
It's a very hard withdrawal.
Great slate this weekend in college basketball, by the way.
It'll be – like this coming weekend is going to be awesome.
There's no football, so it's good to hop in.
It just seems
overwhelming with the amount of teams hundreds of teams yeah is it a guessing game you just have
to pick and choose the most part yeah yeah yeah you lock 140 games on a set never never be certain
of a take ever publicly like never be like never like watch north carolina win one game and be like
that's the best fucking team i've ever seen. You can't be that strong.
You just have to be like, they're playing good.
Because in 2024, everybody loses every game.
Brandon, do you bet on college basketball?
Yeah.
It's crazy.
Not to the level that Dan does.
What sport are you the most up on?
I actually think college basketball might be.
Truly?
Yeah.
Okay, interesting.
And that's just because you don't think about it as much no it's because it's the one sport where like things like uh let down spots
and home court advantage matter a lot okay so like you can really be like oh this team just
had a huge win at home now they're going to like you know lose to manhattan kansas on a tuesday
night bet against them yeah That kind of thing.
It is way different betting on like five dudes versus an entire football roster.
These five guys probably felt more than the entire team felt.
And they're all 18-year-old kids that will fuck up and make mistakes,
and that is always fun because the variability is very off the charts.
Yeah, and people fall into traps of just thinking that a team is playing well.
That means they've figured it out,
so now they're just going to keep trending that way, and it just never works.
That's usually when you just bet against them.
Yeah, you bet against them, and then it all falls apart.
Yeah, pretty much every time.
Steven, how did you do?
What was your Super Bowl for the data?
Oh, off the track.
Jets, Pack check. Jets.
Packers.
Jets.
I think Jets Niners.
Oh, so you got half.
Shay, you got to start that road trip soon, huh?
Yeah, Sunday.
That's not enough time.
Wait, when are you going to get there? We're getting there like Tuesday.
The itinerary is being planned, but like Tuesday afternoon-ish,
Tuesday evening.
We got the Yak on Monday.
Oh, they're picking you up in Chicago on Tuesday.
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Eagles, Jets.
So you're going to miss all the shows next week then.
No, I miss two.
I mean, the show's going to be at 10.
We'll see.
10.
10 a.m.
10 a.m.
I talked about it with Big Cat.
Regular time.
Yeah, tell him to take his time.
I want to see the content.
We've got to have someone filming you.
Yeah, but he's not going to be in charge.
Frank's going to be in charge.
So you can tell Che whatever you want to tell him.
True.
Yeah, we're going to stop at the Grand Canyon.
Okay.
The Four Corners.
I don't know what states those are exactly, but I've heard that there are someone on the list.
Guess the four states.
Guess it.
Colorado. Colorado.
Okay.
Utah.
I was hoping one of you guys knew better.
Yeah, you two.
I actually.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he's two for two.
He's two for two.
Am I?
Yes.
Nevada?
No.
No.
Iowa? There we go. There we go. There we go. Nevada? No.
Iowa?
There we go.
That's what we were looking for.
Is that wrong?
Yeah, very wrong.
I think you maybe meant Idaho. No, you got it dead on, Shay.
That's why we all erupted in laughter.
We were so happy you were right, man.
Was that wrong?
No, Arizona and New Mexico.
Oh, so it's pretty south.
Well, yeah, we're all four go together.
They touch.
I don't know geography at all.
But they touch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Yes, I think we got 90 minutes booked there.
I don't know how big it is.
90 minutes?
That's way too long. You're going to walk in a circle? I don't know how big it is 90 minutes that's way too long in a
circle i don't know that would be great we got it we we have a certain amount of uh walking we have
to do each day yeah right so uh look at his body transformation franks he looks great insane yeah
lost the whole person yeah and a big person at that yeah yeah so it'll be good i'm honestly
looking forward to it.
What are the other stops?
Do you know?
Because that's...
Will you be raw dogging?
Yeah, I'll do whatever Frank does.
Be a fun trip.
Yeah, Frank raw dogs.
I don't know if you knew that.
And then, yeah, get in.
Hopefully be in time for Hank's comedy show,
which is Tuesday night, right?
He's stressing big time.
I don't blame him. He hasn't been sleeping.
One hour.
What's the crowd size? I don't know.
Sold out.
He texted. He was like,
can we please tweet it because I want to make sure
that we sell tickets.
It crashed the site instantly
and then two seconds later, all of it
was sold out.
It was like, within literally three minutes it sold out that's gonna be rough yeah he's been he's been thinking
about it a lot he's got a warm-up set on wednesday yes the laugh factor do you have is he going 15
minutes i have no idea he forgot that he had it yeah right signed up for like a war zone tournament
yeah he did that starts at like 7.
Wait, he actually did?
Yeah.
Okay.
I was like, Hank, just a reminder.
Do you have a mercy plan?
Like if this is going really bad?
No, I think we're just going to let him die out there.
Just going to let him.
Yeah.
It'd be way funnier.
I just want people to start leaving.
I want people to boo.
That'd be awesome.
I kind of want people to throw tomatoes.
No, you don't.
No.
That'll cost you. It almost of want people to throw tomatoes. No, you don't. No, that'll cost you.
It almost cost us $300,000.
But was it worth it? No.
Heavens no.
For a second it was.
The idea of it was very worth it.
That's one way to look at it.
Going
into it felt like it was worth it.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's going to be tough for him.
I'm excited to watch it.
He should just smash watermelons.
That's what I've been telling him.
He should bring out Shin Lim.
Yeah, he should.
I taught him a magic trick.
There we go.
Yeah.
Hank's the guy where you're feeding him ideas
Of what to do and he's like nah I think I'm just gonna do pure stand up
Just wanna work on my punchline
He's gonna give him his best
He doesn't want any hacky shit
Memes has to do 15 minutes too
That's a long time too
I feel like he'll crush
He probably will
Memes has got a brain to do that
He's just gonna
He's gonna get up there and just slay.
I think Hank should shave his beard on stage.
Oh.
That'd be great.
We had to do a shoot this morning for Body Armor where we all had to wear skin-colored, really thin boxers because we were pretending to be naked.
Ah.
You see the boys' dicks?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I mean, my dick looked so bad,
and you could see the outline of the head of my penis.
Nice.
Two inches down.
Mm-hmm.
That was one I...
They just signed us up to humiliate us.
Who has the best dick?
I'm part of my take.
BFT's got the best balls. yeah his balls were big yeah does big mean best i thought they were they were good balls i saw his bare butt uh dnd
he was in that oh yeah yeah yeah i think hank might have had the best dick i was trying not to
look definitely not me i had the worst by far
they're like you just put a sock in there it's like but that everyone's gonna know you'll just
see a sock you're gonna see a sock yeah i'd have to put a sock what i'd put a sock but then it's
just you're the guy with the sock in there better than the guy with the small dick right there could
be a big dick behind that sock.
I'm guarding my penis. Yeah.
I don't want you guys to see my big dick.
I don't want to show it off too much.
Oh, fuck.
What else we got going on?
I do want to play the game again.
Is Cody going to win, Brandon?
Is he going to beat Roman?
Yeah, he's going to win this time.
He's going to go over the top?
No, he's going to win at WrestleMania. He's going to beat Roman. That to win this time he's going to go over the top no he's going to win at wrestlemania he's going to beat they call it when you put him over the
top no that's that's arm wrestling so he had the choice to challenge him or seth yeah he already
pointed at roman the other night so i think it's going to be him and i think it's going to be
seeing punk against seth rollins oh they hate each other who jindalindal. Jinder. Yeah, Jindal. Jinder Mahal. Yeah, how's he doing?
Jindal was the governor of Louisiana.
Jinder?
Jinder Mahal is Indian.
And he's probably not going to be at WrestleMania.
Got it.
And the women's, Bailey won.
That's right.
She beat Jade Cargill.
Arlen?
Liv Morgan was in the final three.
Liv Morgan was last eliminated for the second straight year.
Wow.
Yep.
Damn.
She's the one that rizzed up Spider.
Mm-hmm.
Wait.
Her and Brock Lesnar's daughter.
Liv Morgan rizzed up Spider.
I thought it was Livvy Dunn.
Livvy Dunn got rizzed by Baby Gronk.
By Baby Gronk and stole.
He's been quiet.
Yes.
I think he sucked this year.
Yeah, but he's. Awkward teenager years,
right? That'll be awesome. Yeah, his voice
is going to drop and everyone's going to be like, wait, this isn't
funny anymore. What was going on with that
ref's voice? Yeah, he was sick or
something. Was that what they said? Yeah.
Tough day to be sick.
You do that in the regular season
is what I tell him. Right. If it's
an AFC championship, let's not be sick.
Yeah.
It's gross.
One of my fellas, whenever we do Fella Friday,
is going to be a ref voice.
He's going to be a ref with a good voice.
Oh.
That Indiana dude that talks black.
That Indiana dude that talks black.
That dude, he is.
That's exactly who it is.
I'm sorry.
He's a fool.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Not Ref Rob.
Come on.
What are you saying?
You're defending Ref Rob Rob I love ref Rob
that is so ridiculous
but his own court
where he's talking to the guys and he talks black
and okay I get that
but he started his own where he just does his
outfit every day
he just says this is what I'm wearing today
and it's better
he mics himself up to clearly talk as black as possible.
Six.
Count it.
One.
Let's go.
Say, you remember when you and Skoll tried to ref?
Y'all was terrible, for real.
Oh, he was the one.
Kyle, how'd you know this is what it was?
All I said was ref voice.
We got two.
You're really coming in fresh.
That means you really ain't working.
Even the laugh, dude.
We, I'm tired.
Oh, no.
Is he coaching?
Make both of these for this game over.
I looked up.
I said, Dan, they've been on like, what is it, 45?
TJ, can you look up Ref Rob, his own account where he just does his outfit?
Is it just the same shirt?
No, it's just he'll just be wearing.
He'll just say what my outfit is today, and that's his TikTok.
It would be funny if it was just the ref shirt every day.
No, it's not the ref shirt.
That would be good.
It's my outfit today.
What I wear.
You don't like him, huh?
I love him.
I love everything about him.
I don't know enough about him.
I think that's a little much.
Yeah.
Well, by the way,
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All right, let's see this guy in his outfits.
This is him, Ref Rob.
Yo, it's your boy, Ref Rob.
Today's Ref Fit Check is sponsored by Hoopettes. That's it. That's all by who bettis that's it that's all he does wait that's
it he just says what he's wearing game night flow i'm like russ i know that gift wait is he black
i i don't what's up y'all so i thought the first few clips were ambiguous straight night he gets
whiter as it goes on, though.
I think it was just the lighting. This is a white man.
Hey, y'all.
What's up?
This is your boy, Rich.
Okay.
All right.
Hey, what's up, y'all?
It's Ref Rob.
July 30th, I'm going to be in New Albany, Indiana at Griffith Recreation Center.
I don't know for what.
Ref in a three-on-three tournament sponsored by K2 Sports and KR Photography.
We got to get him in here for a Friday run.
He's got to ref the pickup games in here.
Oh, yeah, he does this too.
Where you go ref pickup games.
Anyway.
Oh, I know what I'm doing.
You know what you're doing?
Oh, he's a content machine.
Yeah.
He's good.
Ref Rob.
Oh, he's up to 20K.
Wow, he was at like two, two weeks ago.
So he's an official Indiana high school basketball ref.
Mm-hmm. I don't know. I've never met him, but yeah. Wow, he was in like two weeks ago. So he's an official Indiana high school basketball ref.
I don't know.
I've never met him, but yeah.
I thought you would acclimate it to this man.
No.
That's not Indiana.
He fucked that up, or he's not Indiana.
It's IHSAA.
Well, he just messed up a letter. I mean, Illinois State High School.
Illinois School High.
He's doing like real games, though? Yeah, I think so. State high. Illinois school high. He's doing like real games though?
Yeah, I think so.
Ref Rob.
Yeah, I've never seen this man.
I said Indiana because he's New Albany, Indiana.
Where does he live?
Indiana.
Indianapolis, I believe.
The Indianapolis area, I think.
Got it.
Ref Rob.
And that's all context clues.
That's just like where he's based out of, it looks like.
Kyle, I don't think it's sunk in. You're seeing Shin Lim. it looks like kyle i don't think it's sunk in you're seeing shin limb i'm yeah it hasn't i don't think it's
really sunk in i'm giddy i'm not joshing you yeah oh that's a great word yeah titus wins
the housewarming party uh we're on track for i think november November. When all the furniture gets there. I'll bring a second layer dip.
Yeah, I just got hit with the
June. A new thing
was June now. So I bought some stuff
last week. We'll deliver it in May.
This stuff is going to be there in June.
You get a rug?
Still no rug.
So what do you do when you go home?
How do you kick back?
We have a couch.
Are you living in a mafia house where you can just get up and leave at any moment? no rug so what do you do when you go home how do you kick back we have a couch we just have like
are you living in like a mafia house where you can just get up and leave at any moment yeah
i got my go bag ready we just have like the entry room is just a big empty room yeah you had that
your house for a while still have it i got some chairs now but yeah i had something that was
supposed to be delivered yesterday and and it was a TV stand,
and they were going to deliver it right during the,
what was the first one?
AFC title game?
And I was ready to bitch.
I was mad, and I was going to give it to them,
and they checkmated me.
They just didn't bring it.
Nice.
They just didn't show up.
They can do that to you.
Yeah.
So my rant is still loading
it's not gonna matter furniture's a bitch to get it sucks how do they get away with it like you if
i go buy a car i got the car immediately if i go buy a house i pretty much what holds up once i
close i know i got the house but if i buy furniture it's gonna be six i order these bar
stools that are coming in in, and they have three fabrics.
I picked one of the three fabrics, and they were like, well, it's a custom order now,
so we're going to have to wait until May.
I'm like, this is one of the three that you suggested.
It's not custom.
Custom.
Custom would be like I bring my own fabric off the street, and I'm like, can you make
chairs out of this?
That should take until May.
You guys must be way wealthier than I am.
It's crazy.
I just thought you got it from a store
and went home with the furniture. Yeah, that's what I thought.
No, the store. You think you just
go to the store. No, you don't get to keep it.
You go to the store and say, that couch right there?
I'd like that couch. Right. You say, okay,
well, we'll deliver that couch right there in
a few months. Yeah. But why?
Exactly. I think
the furniture business, they've all just colluding to be like hey make sure nothing takes
quicker than three months the supply chain right the goddess by the nuts is what they got it's
like isn't there a there's got to be a a big gap here where someone could show up and just be like
yeah i can get your shit right away i have solution. You guys should let me decorate one room in each of your respective houses.
I think that's a really good idea.
I'll take a week, Facebook Marketplace.
Come on.
We'll get some good pieces in there.
You can have my front.
Yeah.
My front.
The foyer?
Yeah, you can have the foyer.
I'm just trying to think.
There's so many rooms.
Yeah.
I'm trying to think of which one.
How much room do you have?
So many.
I could give you a room that I would never even go in.
I'm going to fill it up with like four couches.
Done.
And we're good.
Set.
Nothing on the walls.
Four couches.
What are you going to do with the other 10,000 square feet of Titus' extra room?
No clue.
You're just going to move your apartment into that room?
Exactly, yes.
How long could Mook live
in your house without you knowing?
Not
that long. Like three days?
That's a long time, man.
A long time for a man in your house.
You could hide in your house.
You could live in my house
for the week. No, you wouldn't know?
The weekend, I would know.
The week, I wouldn't. But what if would know the week i wouldn't but what if you
knew like your schedule your walking schedule around the house could he bounce around rooms
yeah no if he just stayed in the basement i probably wouldn't find him he'd probably leave
droppings yeah your kid would think think like i'm a troll in your basement yeah
it's an orange man in our base it's's not real. I've been feeding him fucking Sour Patch Kids.
Fucking mook droppings.
Yeah, if you bought dog treats,
the only way you'd get found out
is if Stella started barking at you.
That's probably it.
You could do it.
I think I could.
We did that.
We stayed at Kyle Wong's house once,
and we stayed an extra two days,
and then when we left, we went up and said goodbye to him goodbye to him he was like i didn't know you guys were still here
that's awesome yeah does he live in chicago no this is when he was playing for the bears so he
had a big house in the lake forest and he was yeah he was just like gaming on his like race
car simulator he's like yeah i had no idea what a life he's a race car simulator. He's like, yeah, I had no idea you guys were so good.
What a life.
He's a race car simulator guy?
Oh, yeah, big time.
Big time.
Those things rock.
Yeah, I want to try that.
I'm trying to get PFT to buy a flight simulator for the office.
Yeah.
Those are big, though.
I want to do one of the military ones where you walk on those balls and get shot by paintballs if you get hit.
Oh, Chaps got a gun. Oh, hell yeah. Okay. I want to do one of the military ones where you walk on those balls and get shot by paintballs if you get hit.
Oh, Chaps got a gun.
Oh, hell yeah.
Okay.
That's a good start.
Some guns.
A gun?
No, well, it's like a paintball gun, but it's not paintballs.
Rubber balls.
It's for like riot police or something?
I don't know, but it looks legit.
I think you got a bunch of them.
Put her on the wheel.
Yeah, we do shooting practice.
Just shoot each other.
Gun fight.
Why not?
Why fucking not?
That was one of those things.
I think he said it to me like a month ago.
He's like, I want to buy one of these guns.
Like, okay.
Probably didn't think that through. As long as he's the one who has it.
Yeah, but his idea was to do content by giving one to White Sox Dave.
That's not a good idea.
One to Smokes.
Oh, did I tell you Nikki Smokes, speaking of Nikki Smokes,
this is the good reason why I'm the guardrails for his pranks?
Oh, yep.
One of the worst prank ideas ever.
He told me.
Was it the one he was going to do on me?
No, it was on Nick.
I shut it down immediately.
His prank was going to be a random girl comes in to the yak and throws a glass of water in
nick's face and says i didn't you never told me you had a girlfriend then leave oh that would
have destroyed my life yeah and i was like i was like so i was like the prank i, that has real life ramifications.
And nobody gets the payoff ever.
Well, he said he was like, well, I'll come in after and say I set it up.
And I'm like, but I'm pretty sure that Nick's girlfriend would still be like, what is this?
Imagine my girlfriend, like, she's going to believe the girl over the scum.
Correct.
I tried to explain it to him.
He didn't really understand it.
But I was like, there's no way that you can do this i appreciate yeah i appreciate you putting it down oh my god oh when he explained
to me i look like a dog watching like a garage door open up i was like he texted me that he's
like that's for titus or nick and i'm like you need to talk to big yeah i was like this is not
a good prank at all you're just gonna ruin their lives yeah that's pretty good that's where he's
cooking with this one do pitch one to you?
That was the one.
He goes, I had another prank idea for you, but Big Cat shot it down.
And I was like, hit me with it.
Yeah.
He told me that.
It's a very quick shot down.
It wasn't even, we didn't like get into a discussion or anything.
I was like, no.
And thankfully Megan was sitting there and she was like, yeah,
that's really dumb.
But then I told him, Smokes,
you've already pulled the biggest prank you could on me,
which is being good at basketball in these pickups games yeah that is something i'm still
trying to make sense of to piss you off uh no i it does make me respect him which i guess kind of
piss that's annoying yeah yeah i actually did like my respect for him is 10x oh my god oh i am
yeah the court restart. Yeah. Shit.
We streamed Friday's game, and it definitely got a little more, like, people are a little
bit more agitated at each other.
Yeah.
They show out.
And Stephen Shea, you guys will be shocked to hear this, still the most annoying person
even on a basketball court.
Oh.
Why?
Red for my bucks.
Why, Jay? small court oh why red for my bucks why yeah there was a possession where we he switched
we like we screened on him like three times consecutive times and he switched each screen
and under his breath because he ended up on me he goes i'm versatile i'm like a chess piece out here
in the middle of the possession like an ant one also steven yeah
can only do one thing yeah chess pieces are not versatile unless you're talking about a queen
okay well you're calling yourself a queen you said i'm a chess piece out here i'm like a fucking
queen out here yeah queen hell yeah dude i'm the queen of the court
don't fuck with me. I'm a fucking queen.
I do like to talk a little bit, but nothing super offensive.
That wasn't talking shit.
That was just like, what are you doing? What prompted this?
You switched what screens?
You were away from the ball?
No, it was at the top of the key, and I think I got screened three consecutive times, in
which case I would just switch.
I do talk a lot in defense, which I think is helpful.
But Che, you understand, calling out a switch for a screen
is, like, the laziest, not best thing to do on a bat.
Like, that doesn't mean you're awesome at all.
That means you're just, like, lazy and don't want to fight over the screen.
I mean, it's the personnel.
Like, do you think everyone here is going over screens?
Oh, that's a nice play.
Who tweeted that?
He points at the camera right away.
Immediately, oh, it's Che that tweeted it. Who tweeted that? He points at the camera right away. Immediately.
Oh, that's Che that tweeted it.
Oh, nice little move.
Right up at the camera.
That kind of was nice.
That was.
Connor Griffin crushes the call.
Oh, he's good.
Yeah, very good.
He's really good.
Yeah, I'm a chess piece.
None of you reacted to the tweet that I saw from Che yesterday, and I thought was really good. Oh, I did. Oh, we's good. Yeah, very good. Yeah, I'm a chess piece. None of you reacted to the tweet that I saw from
Che yesterday and I thought was... Oh, I did.
Oh, we did mentally.
I didn't have the energy. I had to close
my phone after I saw it.
Lamarculate reception.
God damn it.
Che, can you quote tweet this
and can you make reception
into Jackson somehow?
The Lamarculate Jackson. Jackson. and can you make reception into Jackson somehow?
The Lamarculate Reception.
Jackson.
Jackson.
No, or Lamarculate Reception.
Son.
The Lamarculate Reception. Jack Rejackson.
Rejackson.
If you could do that for me.
And then can you just be like, can't believe I missed that.
Yeah, it was right there, dude.
Yeah, no, I saw that.
Yeah, I'm trying to think of some better options.
You just don't.
Don't do it.
The Ravens lost the game, and I think they punted on that.
They did punt on that.
It was a cool play, but it wasn't.
What about?
I think to name a play, it has to be a game-winning play
or a play that won you a huge game.
I will not remember that play in three days.
Yeah, the immaculate reception won the Steelers that game,
and then they went on to win the Super Bowl.
Also, if the word is immaculate, I don't think Lamar is a good replacement.
Could have went ejaculate.
Yeah.
Ejaculate?
Could have went.
Why ejaculate?
Because Jackson.
Oh.
That's right.
Oh, yeah.
I want you back by the Jackson second and five.
Wow.
Own ball Jackson in the battle of bull run and catch the throw that you.
So there's some options there.
Hit me up before you do this.
Yeah, hit up Kyle.
That was off the dome.
Wait, why don't you just do some more?
Can we just, we'll just send them out and see which one does the best.
Start renaming plays jay i gave uh mincy rode in my trunk last night oh what so you guys are carpooling now
well i ride with uh jerry jerry and i carpool and then blutman recently has been getting and
he was like two miles away ubers are expensive at night yeah but then um i felt bad because mincy
was there too so i was like oh do you need a ride or something he's like oh i'm just
gonna get an uber i was like all right well whatever um and then i left and then he's like
oh ubers are like 25 bucks appreciate the right hey save me 25 on an uber i'm happy
that was cold what did he say that was cold What did he say at the top? That's me.
What is he talking about?
Did he see his reflection?
He saw his reflection.
He goes, stop.
That's me.
Thank you, Stephen Shea.
Appreciate the ride.
Hey, save me $25 on an Uber.
I'm happy.
Cold walkout.
I like that.
So hopefully the dads can back me up.
So, yeah, Jerry and I carpool, and Blutman's pretty close.
So lately I've been getting Blutman a ride home.
But then Mincy was kind of, like, walking around the door.
I was like, oh, do you need a ride or something like that? And he was like, no, I'm good.
I'm getting an Uber.
And then I was getting in the car, and Blutman had to squeeze between.
I have two car seats in the back.
Car seats are a pain in the ass to undo and do.
So Blutman lives. I actually think they're very easy. All you are a pain in the ass to undo and do.
I actually think they're very easy.
All you got to do is the strap behind it, Che.
I do it every day.
You take car seats out every day?
I used to do it every day. At least like two or three times a week.
I mean, these guys live one to two miles away.
Minty lives 1.1 miles away from the office.
I'm going to throw an idea out there.
You could have taken both car seats, put them in the trunk, and then put the guys.
Then I got to put them back in. We're talking about
a one to two mile ride. They're insanely
easy to put in and out.
It's just a
buckle. You just have to guide
it through there. It's the anchor
things. Yeah, which is just a buckle.
It's hard to see in the subway. It's a pain.
I don't think you know how to do it. I do.
I put those in. I put in multiple car seats, but but whatever a mile or two on the road i'm not gonna undo the car seats
mincy's place was a 1.1 miles away whatever directions he gave me i had to get on the
freeway so he's in my he's in my trunk on the freeway um going down and yeah we get to his
place and i wanted to get a video of him getting out we're gonna have to do like a nascar see who
can do the fastest yeah is your car out there i feel like we could walk back in in 30 seconds
well you've had 90 children
but i didn't have you picked as a car seat guy yeah no i yeah yeah you kind of have to i thought
it was just kind of on your lap well my my youngest just turned eight so we're out of
boosters oh that's out of everything. Oh, that's amazing.
Yeah, so we're good. Got empty cars now.
They don't have to sit on the little
platform thing? That's the booster seat.
You have to do car seats until they're
eight? Well, no, the booster seat is just
a little higher.
It's like a Phil Jackson pad. Like a
phone book, basically.
He just turned eight? Yeah. What'd you get him?
What's the hot tool? tool well it was back in the
in in the summer it was oh that's not just oh jesus you haven't you must have a nine-year-old
no he's closer to nine no it was in november actually oh that's not the summer i got birthdays
all over just don't worry about it yeah wait do you have to have like a birthday party every other
month or to any uh How clustered are these?
Tommy's July, brother's August, and then I got two in November, wife's in October.
Oof.
Yeah.
God damn.
The fall's busy.
You got Thanksgiving and Christmas in there.
And I got anniversary in there, too.
Damn.
Fall's busy.
You're always buying presents.
Really am.
I really am. But I'm a terrific guy, so I do it.
Yeah, you do.
Yeah.
Sometimes I do it. You, you do. Yeah. Sometimes I do it.
You've never bought my kids presents?
I bought Tommy a booster box, dude.
Yeah, I appreciate that.
It's a booster box.
What's that?
Took him to a Pokemon card shop on his birthday.
And, like, really took him to one.
Got on the subway and went a mile or two.
Yeah, we haggled a little bit.
Oh, yeah, Nick, since you've been gone, I've gotten into the Pokemon game.
Yeah, I saw.
You like it?
I don't know.
I like the initial rush.
I'm not really sure what to do next.
I'm out of plays already.
My first play was buy some cards.
Build a deck and battle.
So how do you, yeah, if someone, who do they battle?
Another trainer.
Other people.
How do you find a battle?
Yeah, you'd have to.
That's going to be hard for me.
It's going to be tough for you.
That's going to be tough.
I used to, like, walk around on the streets looking for Yu-Gi-Oh! battles.
Really?
Like, when I was, like, seven.
Yeah.
With your dual disc on.
Yeah.
But I got cards for you guys.
What?
For my brother.
My brother sent us a bunch of stuff.
Oh, yeah, your brother has a card podcast.
Yeah.
You were on it.
I'm going to bring him in.
Is it here?
Tomorrow I'm going to bring him in.
Yeah.
So we have that to look forward to.
Somebody sent me a Charmander combined with Bart Simpson.
It's up in the studio.
That's sick.
Yeah, very cool.
Good card.
Good piece.
I kind of want to get into Pokemon.
We did Stephen A. Smith looks at Pokemon cards the other day, too.
You guys should just react.
Yeah, I got a Bartmander sent to me. That one.
Whoa, that's an awesome card.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
I didn't get that one.
Are they going to make Simpsons forever?
I don't know.
I think they have to.
I liked Futurama more.
Did you?
Yeah.
I never stuck around Futurama.
I think it was just a product for when I was born.
Yeah, I didn't watch Futurama.
Never got into it.
Never.
Anybody a big Simpsons guy?
No, I liked the Simpsons.
I did the first ten seasons and I fell out.
Who's your guys' favorite Simpsons character?
Bart.
I'm a Lenny guy.
I like Bart, too.
I kind of like the police chief.
Wiggum?
Wiggum.
He's good.
Yeah, I kind of like him.
Apu before they went woke.
Man.
Yeah, well, they get him for being a white guy.
Yeah.
Wait, really?
No, they got the character for being...
Oh, was it Hank Azaria?
Yeah.
Oh, is that why they did it?
I thought it was just because the character was an Indian that worked at a 7-Eleven kind of thing.
No, I think there was...
Quickie Mart.
Well, yeah, a 7-Eleven kind of thing.
He is right.
Right, but I was clearly...
There's no 7-Eleven in the Simpsons universe.
It's a Quickie Mart, isn't it? But I called it no 7-Eleven in the Simpsons universe. It's a quickie mart, isn't it?
But I called it a 7-Eleven kind of thing.
I said what it is, what it's supposed to be representing.
You mean the quickie mart?
Correct.
It is the quickie mart.
And it was Apu.
Great video game, Simpsons.
Oh, yeah.
Hit and run.
It was a great game.
Golly.
But I'd play it being like, I wish this was Grand Theft Auto.
I wasn't allowed that.
Was that the Crazy Taxi game?
Nope.
That was Road Rage.
No, no.
Okay, Simpsons Road Rage was the Crazy Taxi.
They just did Simpsonized versions of all the popular games.
They did skateboarding.
They did wrestling.
They did hit and run.
Simpsons Wrestling is known as the worst game of all time.
The skateboarding game is one of the worst skateboarding games of all time as well.
But hit and run was good. It was like good. Yeah.
It's one of the best PS2 games.
Top 20. Where's my
goddamn quaffle? Get your
quaffle. She, uh, Paige said
it's here. Quaffle's here? Might be
out front. Might as well go on a quaffle run.
Go get a quaffle run. Let me do Mango RX.
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I'm thinking about getting some testosterone.
Yeah? What do you think about that kyle as my doctor how does that work i think once you get on it you have to stay on it but
once you get on it you get like really jacked and lose a lot of weight do you plan to stay on it
do you want you physically have to right do you plan to stay on it? I think so. Okay. Do you want it for aesthetic purposes or like performance purposes like with your job?
Yeah.
I just want energy again.
It's like a mental thing too, right?
Yeah.
I want to be not tired anymore.
I've been thinking about getting alpha brain.
Yeah.
I'm just tired all the time.
You're working a lot and you're not sleeping, which is the biggest thing.
Correct.
That seems like an easier fix.
To sleep more?
Yeah.
Yeah, maybe I'll try that.
To work less as well.
Sleep more and work less.
You could stand to work less.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, shit.
That thing looks awesome.
That's a quaffle?
I didn't think it would be that big.
Oh, this is like... I think this is licensed.
What?
This is a legit quaffle.
Oh, my God.
I want to see that thing in action.
Shout out Lauderdale.
This is signed by Victor Crum.
Holy shit.
Okay, so what is the purpose of that ball?
Don't know.
Don't really know Harry Potter.
But it's a great ball. Is oh that's sick it's a cool ball like an egren water waffle thank you waffle is the uh
the ball they use for the majority of the game that's how this most of the points are scored
you throw the quaffle through the little hoop bullshit the snitch was just like the flying the
the little the finality that's like wasn just like the... Flying. The finality.
Wasn't there one with a mind of its own
that was trying to pitch you?
Yeah, I don't know.
I've always wanted a quaffle, though.
I thought those indents were...
This is the main ball, though, I think.
The quaffle.
Oh, my God.
That's a great piece.
That is, yeah.
All right, you got to get one for your house now?
Quaffle.
It's better than I thought it would be.
It's a great ball.
It's a really good ball.
Just easy to
maneuver. Good to feel.
We need to play something with the quaffle.
You want to quaff?
Quaff it up.
Quaff, quaff.
We also could play some goalball if Nick and Mook feel like they got left out.
Yeah.
I sure do, but it was us that left you guys.
No, but we could spin to see who your teammates are
and just play a little quick two-on-two.
I'm a little intimidated by that.
First to one.
Yeah.
First to one?
Yeah, we can do that.
How long is that?
Two.
It took us about 15 minutes. Three to one? Yeah, we can do that. First to two. It took us about 15 minutes.
To three to go wild.
But we also, we played it way too far away at the first.
Were you guys afraid somebody was going to pants you while you were blindfolded, though?
Now I am.
Oh, damn way.
Permanent fear.
Yep.
That absolutely is a fear now.
Blindfolded is when my dick's the smallest.
Shit.
The mousetraps threw me off my game i knew they
were coming and then the second i hit one it i didn't want to move the rest of the time
yeah no no man i'm gonna fiddle with this longer okay yeah you gotta fit damn it
nah dude why don't you get why don't we play some goalball? So spin the wheel to see who their teammates are. And then the other two people will just announce.
I guess I will play, but I also want to see it in action.
I'd be down to see it in action.
It felt like the dumbest sport, which I like.
The dumber, the better.
The thing about us, though, we missed Kyle's head thing
because we had no idea it was happening.
It was such an incredible moment.
Made SportsCenter.
Oh, it did.
Yes, it did.
Wait, that outfit you were wearing was perfect for head.
Yeah.
That's what I said.
I didn't even see the clip.
You said that?
Yeah.
Very big for adulterous head.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Some cool ass head.
Yeah, it was big time time Especially with the bucket hat
Head in a bucket hat
Yeah
Is a man who loves getting sucked
But doesn't really want to
Some English chick
In like a
A really nice
But like cheap dress
Yeah
Yeah
Giving you head
Before you go out with the boys
You leave her at home after
Hey guys
Here's my head
She gets all dressed up
thinking you're going
to go out with her.
Why is she English?
I don't know.
You're thinking like
an Austin Powers broad?
I think the bucket hat.
Yeah, the bucket hat
makes it English.
Yeah, and who was the guy?
What was that
one-hit wonder 90s song?
New Radicals?
Thank you.
Give what you give.
Yeah.
What about that?
He wore a bucket hat
and probably got sucked.
He didn't get it right,
did he?
Yeah. Just by a 90s one-hit wonder and a bucket hat?
A bucket hat, yeah.
I gotta start wearing a bucket hat.
That guy with Marilyn Manson.
Make it through Wonderwall
before you come.
You always hit Wonderwall right when she starts to suck.
Yeah, see, we were...
The dude that wears a bucket hat
always has shit stains too, but is cool about it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're right.
Like skid marks, but.
And also.
It suits him.
Usually has the one strap backpack.
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
And.
Oh, yeah.
That backpack.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
Got a laptop in there that just has all his mixes.
Yeah.
He's awesome.
He could DJ at any moment.
Nothing is backed up.
We watched that video once with a guy with...
No, that's Jamiroquai.
That's Jamiroquai.
That's virtual insanity.
This was a music video in a mall.
New Radicals, you get what you give.
Yeah, that was in the mall.
TJ, did we ever play the video of the like doing like the the front flip with the dumbbell
but he has a huge shit stain so it takes away from everything yeah there's honestly a lot of
content like that in the weightlifting content game where it's like oh uh doing a deadlift but
i have a thong on or like oh gotcha like oh damn there's a lot of yeah the shit stain was a prank
damn i i'm assuming so yeah i was yeah there's a i've seen a lot of shit stains. Oh, the shit stain was a prank? Damn. I'm assuming so. Yeah, I've seen a lot of videos that are like that.
No, if Nick would have said the one-hit wonder from the 90s with the beanies with the tassels,
I would have known he was talking about the spin doctors.
Right.
That's right.
Hold on.
They were not a one-hit wonder.
That's crazy.
They had Little Miss Can't Be Wrong.
That's a bad song.
And Jimmy Olsen's blues.
Oh, fuck yourself.
They had multiple hits.
Are you going to start defending the crash test dummies now? All I'm saying, fuck yourself. They had multiple hits.
Are you going to start defending the crash test dummies now? All I'm saying, they were a one-hit wonder.
OMC, one-hit wonder.
Spin Doctors, certainly not a one-hit wonder.
They have two?
They have three at least.
No.
What's a hit?
Jimmy, top 40.
That's a hit.
Name them.
Jimmy Olsen's Blues, Little Miss Can't Be Wrong, which was a hit.
That was okay.
And then Two Princes is the big one, obviously.
Who are the
blondes? The three blondes?
Or non-blondes. Are they a one hit?
Yes. What's up?
Do you guys want to be sexist for a second?
Hanson? I don't think they're a one hit wonder.
There's a new Bachelor season coming out and I'd love to
do a fantasy league where we could draft these women.
Yeah. I'm in.
It starts tonight. Okay.
Sorry, last week for Stephanie.ie oh no sorry stephanie shit all right so should we draft them you got
the draft board ready no i just thought of it do you have do you can we get a whole board
do you have it tj can you find it oh here we go oh yeah we should all right draft
do we need it all in one though yeah we need just that one we just need that shot are you Oh, here we go. Oh, yeah, we should draft.
Do we need it all in one, though?
Yeah, we need to see it.
We just need that shot.
Are you guys going to be watching this?
No.
No.
I can't make it through. I get so jealous of the guy.
I used to watch it back in the day.
I think I'm going to tap in.
Really? Yeah.
I'm going to give it a go.
Oh. Okay.
Alright, so maybe
tomorrow we should do it? Everyone should do their own research?
Alright. When's it air?
Tonight?
None of us are going to watch it.
Their sister's competing?
Wait, they're from WVU.
Che, can you get us a whole one sheet of all the girls?
On The Bachelor?
Yeah.
Sure.
What do you want?
Like a fun?
No, just basically this site.
Print it out.
Print it out.
We'll draft prep.
No pictures, though.
What?
No, definitely pictures.
I'm asking.
I'm asking.
I would say no image.
No name.
No text.
Yeah, we're putting you in as a read then?
Golly.
Wait, so you do want pictures?
Yeah!
Yay!
Why else would we do this?
Oh, man.
The funniest guy in the world.
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
We want their GPAs?
Oh, he's going to like this girl.
She's in medical sales.
Oh, fuck, dude. Oh, yeah, there we go. girl. She's in medical sales. Oh, fuck, dude.
Oh, yeah, there we go.
TJ, no.
Pull this down.
Get rid of the fucking names.
I don't want anything.
Oh, you think a name is important?
I think a name is important.
Well, remember, we're not picking who's the hottest.
We're just picking who will go farthest.
Yeah.
That has nothing to do with looks.
Nothing to do with looks.
Ooh. Taylor.
Oh.
What?
What was that first one's name on that last sheet?
Sidney.
Okay.
What did you think it was?
I read it as Spidey at first.
Okay.
That would honestly be a deal breaker for me.
If it's Spidey, that's some Atlanta shit.
All right, we'll draft.
I have my favorite already.
So are you all prepared?
No, not Sydney.
I'm ready.
Yeah.
Is there an Olivia on there?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everybody got number one pick?
All right, just take your – yeah, just – Stephen, just take notes on our –
and then we'll start.
Is everyone picking, like, one? Or one or is it oh you pick till there's
they're all to vote him as draft so bad at this all right why don't you go brandon if you have
your one one i think marlena is going a long way wait is that girl's name nut
yo matt all right i like Marlena to go along
How many are there? 32?
It appears so, yeah
I want Zah to have first pick
Yeah, Zah, you have first pick
I already picked
All of them
Zah has my head in a spin
Fuck yes
Quaffle
Alright, we'll do this tomorrow I have my head in a spin. Fuck yes. Quaffle.
Quaffle.
Oh.
I tried to one-hand the quaffle. All right, we'll do this tomorrow because we got to actually –
we should maybe put it on like – let's put it on an actual draft board.
I called dibs on Lauren.
Lauren feels like a Bachelor winner at all times.
How many – there's probably been too many Lauren winners.
She might be the Bachelor rep.
I know.
Lauren always goes far no matter who it is.
Have you looked it up?
No, I just can tell.
Based on history.
Bust potential.
I'm going to go home and do some research.
They all have bust potential.
Lauren has never finished worse than fifth.
We should find sob stories about all of them.
Make it like a real ESPN draft.
Mook is just dead tired and dehydrated tomorrow.
Mook is up all night researching.
He's like, God damn, I was doing that bachelor.
That draft prep.
Forgot to mix in a water.
I'm liking this.
Okay.
I'll research this. Yeah, I'm going to do some research
Are we doing a goal ball?
Yeah we're doing a goal ball
So spin the wheel TJ
And see who's going to be partnered with Nick and Mook
Krissa is super athletic
But can't ride a bike
Then no
Take yourself off TJ
Just because we're going to need someone to do the cameras.
Unless you want to play.
I do not.
Okay.
KB?
Nope.
I'm playing goalball.
Shit.
I'm so bad.
So whose teammate are you?
Shit.
Nick? Okay, you have Nick. And then this teammate are you? Shit. Nick.
Okay, you and Nick.
And then this person will be?
Mooks.
Okay.
And whoever's left will announce.
All right.
Zah.
Let's do it, Zah.
Get in there.
All right.
Let's do it, Zah.
Let's play some goalball.
I'll play first and second.
All right.
Goalball.
No laying down is the only rule.
No laying down is the only rule?
When did we make that rule?
We were playing with that rule.
Were we?
Yeah.
I thought we changed halfway, but I think you could lay down.
You just have to bounce it over.
I think I'm pro-laying down, I think.
I think I'm pro-laying down, too.
You're exposing the bounce.
Yeah, you're exposing the bounce.
You can bounce it in still.
You're right.
There's strategy here.
But are you pro laying down full body across the net?
Yeah, because even if you do that, you're still exposing the top of the net.
You're leaving a lot of goal wide open.
I think on the real one they do it, right?
So part of the throwing is in your head you're like,
I wonder if they're laying down or standing up.
Got it, yeah.
The only thing it eliminates is you won't be able to roll it quietly past them
because they'll be laying there, but that's only one way to throw a ball.
Yeah.
I stayed after and practiced, by the way.
Yeah.
You were here until like 3.30 in the morning, right?
Yeah.
I'm getting the spin down.
I've started putting some English on it.
Let's play it two, and then you guys with Steven have to play, and then it'll be a round robin. I've started putting some English on it. Let's play it two and then you guys with Stephen
have to play and then we'll be around Robin.
I love that.
Me and KB are on a team. Obviously.
Obvious. Champions.
You're picking up. What?
Kyle admitted to cheating. I don't know. It wasn't ruled.
It wasn't in the handbook. I don't think that's cheating.
I think that's using your resources
to your advantage.
He took his shoe off and put it down on the floor.
Nick, you could probably just take your glasses off.
You can't see without his glasses.
He can't see without his glasses.
I didn't cheat.
When KB did the head thing, I heard an eruption, and I thought we were getting pants.
There were mousetraps coming.
Can we look at Zod's blindfold?
Oh, he did the whole head.
He did the whole.
Oh, shit.
It's like a horror movie villain.
It does.
It looks scary.
I do have a blindfold.
Hold on.
Okay, I'm going to use that one.
Dibs. It's a great time to point that out, TJ. Okay, I'm going to use that one.
Dibs.
It's a great time to point that out to you, Jay.
Yeah.
I don't want to tell Mook.
Jay brought it in here and then just, like, forgot that I guess he did that. I don't want to tell Mook, but that's what I wore the other day.
A blindfold?
Oh, the ski mask?
That's mine.
Mook, turn it around.
What is on Zai's face change the worst person to uh to be the yeah do any blind people become blind and then just like
they punt on braille like they said i'm not doing this the blind community has rejected braille is
that what you're saying is there anyone who would would be like, that's not wasting my time with that?
I never really understood
how Braille worked on the lake.
I think if you're old
and you get blind for the first time,
Braille doesn't matter to you.
You're not going to do that.
You ever see Braille
in the hotel room number
and they don't have Braille underneath?
It's always in a spot
that how would the blind people
find that Braille? They would have to walk around feeling up the walls. Drive through ATM with Braille underneath. But it's always in a spot that like how would the blind people find that Braille?
They would have to walk around feeling up the walls.
Drive through ATM with Braille on it.
Yeah.
What's going on out there?
Finding Braille is harder than learning Braille.
What's going on out there?
No.
What happened to you?
Chaps just shot me.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
We get shot.
I'm not.
We're not doing guns and blinds damn
well you got a lot of marks
oh yeah that's no, no blindfolded bullets.
Shot me on a blindfold.
Stop, Chaps.
No more shooting, please.
No, don't.
That hurt.
I'm asking you.
No, fuck this.
What the holy shit?
No, no, I'm not fucking...
What?
That's kind of funny.
I would hate it if I got hit.
Don't.
We're too close. Okay. Do not shoot. Okay, I'm going fucking... What? That's kind of funny. I would hate it if I got hit. I'm not going out there, boys.
What?
What is that?
That's a what type of gun?
I think it's just round...
It's shooting reusable rubber paintballs that don't explode.
Oh, that sounds painful.
Yep.
And who thought this was a good idea?
Just when you think you've seen it all at this workplace.
The guy brings a gun and starts shooting people blindfolded.
It's the one time.
All right.
Big cat is...
Interior.
No, no, no.
See?
Yeah, we're not...
I'm not doing that shit.
What?
Oh, it's coming.
What are they doing?
Oh, good stop, Zaha.
Oh, my God, Zaha.
Good stop, Zaha.
Let's go, Zaha.
Wow.
All right.
Now you're up.
Where are you?
Are you laying down?
Yeah.
It's good.
Let's see if you can bounce it right over Nick.
It's rolling good – see if you can bounce it right over Nick. It's rolling.
Oh.
That's pretty nice.
Yeah, good stop.
Good stop, boys.
Nick.
Nick looks terrified.
I'm kidding.
No, you don't tell him. No, I'm not telling him. He announced that the shot was coming. Nick looks terrified.
He announced that the shot was coming.
How's it going?
Oh.
Okay.
Would have been a good shot if it wasn't just wide.
Cheating allegations flying in the chat. what what what zah can surely see he's covered up pretty good that seems like an obviously see
a suspiciously intuitive stop on his first one all right well we'll check oh good stop nick stop
all right let's see about this one
i hope he is i wore what moot wore the other day he can't see at all
oh my god that's a mile wide yeah
damn the evidence is mounting dan might be terrible at this. We found the one thing that he sucks at.
All right, Zah's up.
The one physical challenge that he's not good at.
And it's rolling.
Oh!
Not big!
Oh!
Wow.
Went right through his legs.
Threw his legs off.
Oh, my God.
That's embarrassing.
He can't.
He's not cheating.
I don't think he can see.
Do not shoot me, Chad.
Stop it.
Seriously, I'm going to quit this game.
I do not want to get shot again.
I don't want.
We really have a guy out there.
I'm not going out there with that guns.
How far can you go?
What's the rule?
Oh.
Oh. Oh. Wide left. guns how far can you go what's the what's the yeah you went off the crate oh oh oh wide left nick you were basically in their goal when you
you were at the half court line basically all right centered, and he's ready.
Oh, oh.
Aggressive.
Oh, oh.
Good stop.
Wow, big save.
Yeah, that was a good shot, Moot.
That was good technique.
That was close.
Fuck.
This is fun to watch. I like watching it a lot.
He almost bent the goal back.
Nick's right in his way.
All right.
Oh, overhead.
So what do you think the best technique is?
I don't think there is one.
Yeah, I don't think we've –
Yeah, maybe choppy high bounces if you can think of that.
I think knee high bounces.
Yeah, because it has to go over.
I think you want it to sound bouncy,
but you would like for it to die a little bit before it gets to him.
Possibly to go through the legs.
That should be doomed right there
oh wow wow
so there has to be a rule on the number of bounces or yeah something because like you could just
throw an underhand on a line drive there has to be something that keeps you from it just bounces
once do we think yeah so we're playing to two and it's one nothing.
So a one bouncer, would that be a hack?
Maybe.
I don't think.
There has to be a –
Can he line him up like that?
It has to bounce a certain number of times.
Who?
Here goes Nick again.
Oh, aggressive but poor.
Like me growing up.
All right. Moops up. All right, Mook's up.
Go further, go further.
Go further right.
You're right.
Mook, bounce it.
Do a bouncer.
There's a hole here.
Oh, that sounds good.
Oh.
Whoa.
He made the save mook
all right big cat's got it thinking it over nick likes to stand directly in the way every time
nick can't find the post there I think we're gonna see something special
out of Big Cap right here
it feels like he's deep in his bag
right to his chest
right at him
Mook's up in the 3 or 4 save territory
at this point
Big Cap might suck at this
Nick going way out
way out for Nick.
Yeah, he's got to get closer.
I don't know if that's an advantage.
This goal is wide open, guys.
Yeah, yeah.
No, no, no.
Not like that.
No.
Yeah, they're not.
That was nerve wracking. Yeah.
Whew.
This is not good.
Kyle, you were explaining earlier that Zah's team
probably had a disadvantage here.
Why?
Oh, nice.
I got it.
I got it.
Good man.
Did I say that?
Always.
Yeah.
There we go.
Oh, wow.
Look at this. Look at this. Oh. wow.
Look at this.
Look at this.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Go.
Cookies.
That's the win, right?
That's 2-0.
Damn.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Wow.
Fucking suck at this game.
Wow.
I had zero.
Also, I'm not going out there with that gun up there.
I got kind of used to it at the end.
Good game, boys.
Good game.
You know, it gets you.
You guys are up.
It's very fun.
I think I'm really, really bad at this game.
Yeah, I was scared Chaps was going to shoot me again the whole time.
Who are we playing?
You guys.
You and Titus versus Che and Brandon.
Oh.
There he is.
Wait, that game's sick.
Yeah, that game's crazy.
Yeah, it's really fun.
I'm out of breath.
Dude, I was suffocating in the fucking...
Oh, that's probably why.
That one.
Did I...
That game is so much fun.
Where'd you get hit with the airsoft gun?
My back.
That sucks.
Yeah, it does suck.
Yeah, definitely wasn't fun.
Nick, I'm taking this home.
No way, dude.
That's my quaffle.
I'm taking it home.
Mine now.
It's not at all. It's not how quaffle property works man uh che you're you're playing can i see my sickest highlight
there's a shirt over here che i gotta say like
did i see it that's so bad oh we gotta see it oh man there's no worse feeling than hearing that ball
and being like i think i know where it is i don't understand how i'm so bad at shooting
that's the easiest part i think not for me i just don't score i'm just nervous the whole time
i'm nervous about like how i look yeah i didn't want my belly to pop out. Oh, here's the...
All right, so wait.
Wait, yeah, play that.
I need to scout.
Oh, that was me getting shot.
Yeah, I was afraid.
Oh, shit, there's a welt.
Yeah, right there.
I would hate it if I...
That's a real gun.
Yeah, we're not.
All right, big cat is... It's here. Oh, no, no, no. He real gun. Yeah, we're not. All right.
Big Cat is... A tear.
Oh, no, no.
He shot again.
Oh, we're way too close.
Stop, Zaha.
What?
Yeah, we should let them start.
Wait, hold on one sec.
Oh, good stop, Zaha.
Oh, my God, Zaha.
Good stop, Zaha.
I feel like you could see, Zaha.
Yeah, the cheating accusations were fine.
That was a perfect defense.
Wait, are there cheating accusations? No. So, the corner of were fine. That was a perfect defense. I did. Wait, are there cheating accusations?
No.
So the corner of my thing was not.
I had my shysty on backwards, so the front was the back,
and because of my hair, it wasn't fully closed.
That's a great one.
That's pretty nice.
Yeah, good stop.
I put my hands up for that one.
So you did cheat.
No, for that one specifically.
It was just my thing moved out the way.
It's because of my hair.
Yeah, so I would have scored.
Yeah, most likely.
Then instinctually, I just could have stopped myself.
Is this the one where I was just like all the way across the court?
He announced the shot.
Hold on one sec, Titus.
How's it going?
Oh.
That's so pathetic.
It would have been a good shot if it wasn't just wide.
Oh, fuck.
What?
He's not suspicious. Hold on. This is the one it wasn't just wine. Oh, fuck. What?
Zach's suspiciously demand intuitive stop on his first one.
Alright, well we'll check.
Oh!
Good stop, Nick!
Alright, we can-
Yeah, we can.
Alright, you guys ready?
Let's see about this one.
You can't say I cheated if I had one go through my fucking legs.
Embarrassing.
Damn it.
It slipped off my face and I just could not.
I couldn't stop myself.
So whatsoever! Oh, God and I just could not. I couldn't stop myself. So bad.
I'm so fucking bad.
Alright, hold on, Titus.
One sec. Is this the one?
We're trying to see Big Cat get nutmegged.
Is this the one, TJ?
I have no idea.
Yeah, this has got to be it.
Damn. Alright, okay. Let's be it. Oh! Damn.
All right, okay.
All right, let's go live.
Delete that footage.
We're live.
All right, Titus, you're up.
You going?
Oh, post.
Hit the post. Wait, how fast were you throwing them?
I wasn't throwing them that fast.
I keep changing.
I need to practice. Can you beam it? I wasn't throwing them that fast. I keep changing. I need to practice.
Can you beam it?
I was throwing off speed.
I was throwing ass balls.
Oh, wait.
These guys have it figured out in the net.
I was up.
Oh.
It stopped Titus.
This game does ruin watching it.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Way better.
Oh, goal's going down.
Connor Griffin with a fade.
Imagine if Connor Griffin had a low tapered fade.
All right, go ahead, KB.
KB with the roll.
He cocks back.
Oh, I like that shot.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
This is so much better to watch.
Yeah.
Oh, my God. This is my first time watching it. Fuck playing. It's so much better to watch. Yeah. Oh, my God.
This is my first time watching it.
Fuck playing.
It's a great game to watch.
Yeah, wait.
We should throw them just really hard.
Che's up.
I feel like Che's going to miss wild.
Is that like a gentleman's thing not to beam it?
Yeah, I guess.
Beam it.
But you have to bounce it twice.
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh, curve.
Oh, goal! it twice. Yeah. Oh. Oh, curve. Oh, goal!
Titus.
Wow.
Che, a natural.
A natural. What should we name that move?
Che, you're going to get in the face.
Here comes Titus trying to even it 1-1.
He's going to be pissed.
Boys are laying down.
Oh, goal!
Great shot. We got a high-scoring game. Great shot. 1-1. He's going to be pissed. Boys are laying down. Oh! Goal!
We got a high scoring game. Great shot.
1-1. It was an absolute firecracker. Thank you, Stephanie.
Two offensive juggernauts.
No defense
in this game, folks.
Brandon can't
stand up with his eyes closed.
Just struck.
Titus looks cool.
Real low.
KB's in like natural wrestling
practice position.
What a save by Power!
Great save.
Great save.
Alright. all right lining up the shot oh he might use the water bottle use the water bottle to line it up
oh he's cheating yep oh game over all right mukenza you got to go out there
oh i have to go back yeah try to beat titus and kb kb and titus go out there. Oh, I have to go back? Yeah, try to beat Titus and KB. KB and Titus, stay out there.
Yeah, Quaffle.
Stay out there.
Quaffle.
What a ball.
Yeah, they picked on Che.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Two.
It's first to two.
This is a championship game, first to three.
You gave up both of them.
You also got hit in the face.
This is a fun game to watch. It's not as fun to play. No. It's terrifying to three. You gave up both of them. You also got hit in the face. This is a fun game to watch.
It's not as fun to play.
No.
It's terrifying to play.
I like being on defense more than offense.
I don't think.
Offense is just hoping and praying.
I think my offense, my shots on goal are like 10%. No, yeah, you have a lot of angle to yours.
It's very bad.
I thought about it all weekend after playing on Friday,
and I'm very disappointed that I wasn't able to correct it.
We'll point out that Mook and Zah just executed a perfect handshake.
Perfect handshake.
Somehow.
Yeah, I mean, that Zah save was very suspect.
Him just diving and being able to get a bouncing ball.
Interesting.
Very interesting.
It's always the ones you expect the most.
All right.
Big Cat, I genuinely think we would have been unstoppable if you laid on me.
We'll have to be our new plan.
Yeah, let's make a big wall.
Oh. Oh. Wide right. Yeah, let's make a big wall. Oh. Oh.
Wide right.
You know, it could be. We might be witnessing
greatness because KB and Titus are
undefeated. They are undefeated.
They could be the greatest team.
They're hard to score on.
Something in here smells great.
Probably that garlic sauce next to you.
Yep. Ooh.
And Zaza.
He's not looking great. Look at Kyle.
Kyle's like a cat.
That was not going to go the way.
All right.
He cleared himself of the accusations.
Zaza's no longer cheating.
I feel like that's what I do every single time, too.
KB up for his next shot.
Boy, the skull looks wide open over here.
It really does.
Goal!
The speed is definitely you got to go pace.
Kyle's feeling it.
Yeah.
Who scored both their goals?
I think Titus scored one and Kyle scored one.
Okay.
All right, Mook.
This is the goal ball championship. You're're gonna have to throw it hard season one
this is your time mook before we change implement rule changes and perfect this game
oh the spinner oh nice save
titus has active hands which is good yeah he's got to be flailing at all times would this game
be better with a second ball?
Ooh. There are a lot of
improvements that can be made. I do want to see it with
the whole baseline being a goal.
I think more of us getting hit in the face in Testy.
Oh!
There it is! Perfect.
Perfect. She's right in the face.
Good save, Mook.
Great save.
Really saw that one coming.
Yeah. Yeah, see? save. Really saw that one coming.
Yeah.
Yeah, see, we need more of that.
What did he hurt?
His ego.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
All right, he's back up.
Connor desperately trying to give one of them the ball. Oh, that's what KB's water bottle is what he's using?
That's genius.
I think it's a little bit cheating.
A little bit.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
I saved.
Great save.
The windmill there kind of.
I think now that I'm watching this game for the first time,
going slow is a bad idea.
Why did I think I was going to sneak it by two grown men?
I just like slowly roll it.
Yeah, so Kyle built his own rail.
Wide right.
He's got to change the water bottle.
Oh.
Oh, he's just.
Oh, he's getting ready to abandon.
I might have fucked him up.
Oh, smart's just – oh. Oh, he's getting rid of the advantage. That might have fucked him up. Oh, smart, smart.
Savvy.
Savvy.
Goal.
Oh, what a goal.
Right by Kyle.
Really good game.
1-1.
This might be an instant classic game, the way it's shaping up.
It's first to three in the championship round.
Mm-hmm. round gotta win by four
tightest up missed wide right last time yeah no he he hit mook in the face last time
see if he can do it again let's hope he does it again was there some spin to the save oh nice save
let him go there's just nothing you can you can't look cool doing it no you cannot it's impossible
there's gotta be somebody that could find a way
uh sorry lining up he's just completely screwed up his angle already yep he's standing There's got to be somebody that could find a way. Sorry.
He's lining up, and he's just completely screwed up his angle already.
Yep, he's standing.
Okay, wait.
He's going slow with it.
No.
Silent ball, silent ball.
Good save by Titus.
Good save.
Silent ball doesn't work.
All right.
It has to have some bouncy.
Has to have some bounce.
Has to have some pace.
What Mook did was the smart play.
Kyle.
You got to go fast. aggressive aggressive goal save save sorry kyle all right this is a both all matches yeah they've shown up their defense adjustments have been made
oh there goes mook oh moook with a deke. He's dribbling.
Wide right.
Wide right.
Just not a good shot after all that.
Just not.
You did well the last time, but that was a poor effort.
Poor effort there.
You missed by 12 feet there, Mook.
Titus. Titus.
This feels like it's going to be a good shot.
Yeah, it does. He's lining himself up.
Seems to be in line.
Oh, did he go?
Oh, just wide left.
Wide left.
Mook got lucky there. And he had Mook
guessing wrong.
Alright, this could be for the upset. We're had Moot guessing wrong. All right.
This could be for the upset.
We're playing a three, though.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
This could be to take the lead for the upset.
This could take another 15 minutes.
I panic.
I've never faced adversity like that.
Here comes Zaz.
This quaffle's great.
That game needs a quaffle.
Oh, this is not.
No.
That we're in danger.
Yep. Oh, he's adjusting himself.. That we're in danger. Yep.
Oh, he's adjusting himself.
Is he about to shoot a free throw?
He's smiling ear to ear.
He must know something we don't.
It's a.
What a save by Bauer.
It's a nice toss.
Did he jump on his knees?
There's some angst out there now, boys.
The competitive juices are really getting the best of our competitors.
I think with these size of goals,
we should be one guy in goal.
Yeah, and one guy mid.
We need to set up like foosball.
It's all right in the belly.
Alright, we'll play to two.
Yeah, let's play to two.
We will play to two. Yeah, let's play to two. We will play to two.
Next goal wins.
We got to tinker with this.
I think we can make this a great game.
I think full baseline would be too big.
But that would be exciting.
You hear it coming.
Oh, saved by Bauer.
No, Mook just can't find the goal right now.
You hear it coming from a long way away, and you're going to adjust?
Could be some running into each other at that point, too.
I know.
It should be great.
Nick, live wrestling breaking news announcement?
Yeah, tell me.
CM Punk potentially tore his tricep last night.
Wow.
Brandon doesn't have his tricep on his head.
I would like to break this on the yak.
First, outside of Booth, man.
CM Punk may have torn his tricep yesterday.
Goal!
Championship.
Winners.
That's why he did this last match before.
No, that's not good.
They're undefeated.
How'd he do it?
Probably getting eliminated.
They're undefeated.
It was an underwhelming elimination, wasn't it?
We're so good. You guys are the't it? We're so good at this.
You guys are the best.
You guys are so good at this.
You guys are the best.
I'm bleeding.
What happened?
Mook's bleeding?
Yeah.
Come on, man.
Enough is enough.
I'm fucking bleeding.
What happened to CM Punk?
Tore his triceps, we think.
So that overshadowed the goalball championship?
It did.
It came out right before the final goal.
Fuck.
We didn't even see who scored the last one.
Who won?
Oh, fuck you.
Mook, you were off to such a promising start,
and then you just lost the goal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Beginner's luck.
I don't know.
I'm out of breath, though, dude.
I think Kyle and Titus might be the...
They're unbeatable.
They might be the goats.
Nah, we're not unbeatable.
There's the...
Fuck me.
You guys are awesome.
Thank you.
It's a little wild because I have no idea what Kyle's even doing.
I don't know what you're doing.
I know we're a good team, but I have no idea why.
One of you is way better.
Yeah.
They're trying to drive a wedge between us, Kyle.
I have to feel up Zob before every defensive stance.
We got some breaking news.
Should we break the number?
I don't know.
Should we?
I think we probably should because they won't.
Where are they going to break it?
Nowhere else to.
Oh, dear.
Yeah.
I guess we'll – I'm doing the rundown in 20 minutes with Dave and Kevin.
So he'll explain it.
I'll just say it.
Dave just sent an email saying Barstool Radio is canceled until further notice.
Oh, he tweeted it too.
Oh, there we go.
Oh.
Ooh.
Breaking news.
All right.
Why?
I don't know
I hope we don't get cancelled
Dave just saw what we did
He extended us
It is funny that we're playing the dumbest game in the world
While Barstool Radio gets cancelled
The slowest, quietest
Lowest scoring
Least action packed Whoops uh whoops something crazy tomorrow shout out
shout out all the diehard yak fit keep the lights on you you watch goalball and you keep us going
um yeah that's significant oh no it's a bummer yeah Yeah. It sucks. Yeah, it sucks.
It's too bad.
Nice, juicy time slot.
Just started.
It is.
Everyone, please subscribe to the Yak YouTube.
Keep watching.
Even if you're not watching, just turn it on.
Just turn it on YouTube.
For your pets, too, at home.
Yeah.
Everyone just run those numbers up.
That's too bad.
Kyle, the tricks he does with smoke will boggle you
i'm excited that's the ideal show you're seeing shin limb i know i'm very excited
all right i love illusions this is more than that man okay i know it's my favorite form of
entertainment what other plans we got in vegas any shenanigans? Yeah, we got to figure some out. Any tomfoolery?
Yeah, we should.
Not some hijinks. Hijinks? We should, yeah.
Chicanery?
I'm down for chicanery. You know that.
I'm always down for chicanery.
Yeah, what should we do?
We got to do something. So we learned our lesson from
Los Angeles that we went too many things.
Too far. Everybody should just have one thing.
One thing makes sense.
And what that one thing is.
I want one of us to have to get a gold tooth.
Let's come up with some things.
Do a wheel on Friday.
Yeah.
Deal.
I'll start writing stuff down.
We'll all pitch a...
Okay.
I don't think it should be a weak ruiner, though.
No, but like, what's too far?
Would you get a hoop earring?
You and I have tattoos.
Yeah.
You'd look like Harrison Ford.
You would look good with a hoop earring.
Yeah, dude.
Are you pointing at me?
Yeah, you'd look good with a hoop earring.
I think you would.
You should just get a hoop earring.
We're not even doing the Super Bowl stuff now.
I don't think I'd like a hoop earring. We're not even doing the Super Bowl stuff now. I don't think I'd like a hoop earring.
That's not even hijinks.
That's just like...
Let's have a wheel of different forms of earring.
What's the one they put at the top?
Cartilage.
Would that suck or would that not hurt?
That would hurt.
I don't know how we could do content for it,
but I would be willing to...
So we're 10 a.m. local time.
Yeah.
Noon, regular time.
So regular time all week.
But I would be willing to, one morning,
play Blackjack at like 7 a.m.
with like 10k and whatever I win, we split.
Or whatever I lose.
But it's not really content.
Maybe we have one of the old classics since it is 10am.
Somebody does show up blacked out.
Ooh.
Well me and Titus will be live every day at 7.
Yeah.
So then you'd have to really drink a lot.
That's stupid. Seven?
Well there's no, unfortunately there's just no other time slots available
in the Barstool lineup so we're stuck.
What do you want us to do?'re stuck having to do the early show.
When we came out here, we had to go early.
Don't you guys like that morning slot?
Okay.
It's nice.
I feel like it's nice.
I think it's a smart slot, and I think it works for the audience.
It just sucks waking up at 530.
But you're also done at 2.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no.
We do like it.
It works. It's just something to bitch about. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. We do like it. It works.
It's just something to bitch about.
Yeah.
That's pretty much it.
Well, Titus doesn't have to wake up at 5.30.
Yeah, what time do you wake up?
I do wake up at 6 to try to work out before we come in.
Yeah, I do too.
That's what I do.
That's crazy.
We both work out together.
Maybe it's just because I'm always in here when you guys are in here that i'm like i like most mornings i'm
here and i don't have to start doing live shit until later yeah like oh i could hop on a mic
right now yeah yeah it's just my drive and it's the drive during the height of rush hour but i
usually beat rush hour now so i'm good fuck yeah you do and uh and now they when they opened up
the highway they changed everything it was like an hour and 45 now it's a smooth hour an hour's not bad later in the day it's like you know people
like you can't really talk about the games you just watch and you blend in too much yeah i have
my my best thoughts composed in the morning so i think that's true yeah morning after caffeine
mine's after as i'm falling asleep same Same, yeah. I'm fighting sleep to write dumb shit in my notes app.
And it never makes sense.
Never.
I sometimes dream jokes or premises,
and then when I wake up and remember them,
that sucked.
That was a terrible one.
Yeah, sometimes I just look through.
It's bad.
I can probably read one.
And I'm in the middle of the night,
I'm laughing, this is going to rock and then I wake up
like oh that was bad. That must be some type of phenomenon.
Yeah.
Wait that means it killed Nate Friday too.
I know. I was just about to say that.
I feel bad for him.
He's not why it was cancelled.
I don't think so.
Maybe Dave's trying to get the glitter out of his star again.
Nate Friday
rocked. He can just still do a couple of his segments, I think.
I mean, he could just go live on Instagram.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I hope he does.
I'd tune in.
Damn.
Okay.
Oh, we got your high noon ad.
May I?
Yes, please.
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Mm-mm-mm.
Yum, yum, yum.
Oh, Nate did say, I failed everyone today.
I should have gone in there when they spent the first 30 minutes talking about Taylor.
I apologize to everyone I've let down.
The dog will reflect and become back stronger.
I believe that.
Mm-mm. flex and we come back stronger. I believe that.
Well, it'll come back.
Yeah, they just got to figure it out.
Mm-hmm.
We got a wheel?
Yeah, we got a wheel.
We got a wheel yeah we got a wheel we got a wheel by the way i've extended uh free lunch until friday thank you because i don't want to deal with once we go to vegas the people can fight my god yeah
and then we'll come back and hopefully they figured it out were you were you uh were you
here for the saga when cody fucked up scoop of what lunch was going to be?
Oh, it was bad.
It was bad.
So Cody is the scoop guy, and he tells everyone in the office what we're going to get.
And, yeah, the day you were gone, he reported Chick-fil-A, and it was salad.
What?
Whoa.
He can't.
I'm now banning Cody from scoops. yeah it was bad i don't know if he i
don't know if he tried to do it today but cody you are no longer allowed to do the scoops someone
else can do it come on cat that's what you mean that's a huge miss huge miss that's a like as big
as it gets really if it had been like some other fried chicken or something then i could deal with it but you can't go chick-fil-a to salads that is not a skyhook what are you doing i'm doing uh
winning time oh yeah i'm obsessed i have like i have a crush on magic johnson in the winning
time universe only i think whoever the actor is i forget his name is like the one of the most charming dudes in the
world i don't know what else he does i watched uh dumb money last night and that oh the dave's in
yeah dave's in it uh great yeah great i would definitely watch it yeah reminisce about the
game stop you didn't watch it i did watch it yeah oh did you get it on that i lost like 500 during that cool i got in
sick man yeah yeah it was pretty sweet sass got destroyed in that yeah he did oh yeah he's like
48 hours he just didn't leave his desk it was insane i've never seen anything like it yeah
just hunched over saying diamond hands over and over
me and my second week at Barstool.
Yeah.
He was, like, ready to retire from his winnings.
All right, spin our wheel.
Oh, Dave just texted me.
What did he say?
Michigan, exclamation point.
Oh, breaking news.
It's nice boss man's checking in on you.
Another one.
Hey.
Another one.
He did miss Saturday.
He just reset.
He missed Saturday?
First day he missed, yeah.
He got back on Sunday, though.
He's like those guys who send the DMs to women like Goodnight Queen over and over.
Yeah, those guys are crazy.
Yeah.
We would know.
What's the most unanswered DMs you've ever sent, Mook?
We're not double digits, are we?
How much time do we have?
That's brutal.
All right.
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I don't think we're in danger, but still.
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We'll see everyone tomorrow.
Draft.
Pass the rep.
Draft. Draft. It's the act. It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act. Everybody have a wonderful day.
See you tomorrow.
Bye.