The Yak - Happy Birthday to Richard Bong | The Yak 9-24-24
Episode Date: September 24, 2024It's me, your Uber driver!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up.
All right. So, Yak.
Yak.
Over here.
Yeah.
Rowback.com.
R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.
Promo code Yak.
20% off all.
Joggers.
Joggers.
Houses.
Hoodies.
Crewnecks. Yak. Probably quarter zips as well, robeck.com
What's up guys what you guys doing over there?
uh, am I?
yeah
I was yapping
hey mark
hey guys
hey buddy
what's happening on dude?
You don't
so brent i love those shoes
yeah
but it's almost like a real fancy dress
it's uh
i shouldn't wear them
i shouldn't over wear them
yeah
well you're right but then again our fault kate we started at noon It's just like a real fancy dress. I shouldn't over wear them? Yeah.
Well, you're right.
But then again.
Our fault, Kate.
We started at noon.
Yes.
Oh, shit.
Oops.
Did you come from a children's storybook about rain?
These are those tough, extra toughs
that all the cute sorority girls wear.
And they sent me a pair of Eagles ones
and a pair of Penn State ones.
Wait, that's sick.
I know, I fucking love them.
They're perfect.
Have you been sneakily trying to glow up?
You have. Yes.
Yes, I have.
This doesn't quite match, none of this is working.
No, no, no, but.
But I like the boots.
I've been shaving my legs.
Oh my God. Who knew not being in constant pain
would make you funnier and want to dress better?
I know.
You're putting in effort as a game changer.
I showered again this morning.
No.
Yep.
It's true.
Oh.
Sorry.
Look who showed up.
Hit him with it.
What a loser.
Show started at noon.
No, no.
You gotta say it.
Say it with our fault.
Oh, Kyle.
Our bad.
Our fault, B.
We shouldn't have started the show at noon.
No, don't.
Shouldn't we? Don show at noon. No, don't.
Kyle.
Yeah, we decided to start it at noon today.
What the fuck?
Nailed it.
Nailed it.
It's the two people that care about their appearance the most.
I know that's rain on his shirt, but it makes the shirt look good.
It looks awesome. It does.
It looks purposeful.
I was going to wear my Jose Ramirez Shmedium,
but I busted the buttons. Damn. People are calling him the most underappreciated, unheralded
professional sports star by American fans. Wow. He could be up there. Jose Ramirez is so unheralded,
I can't really tell you much about him. I know where he plays, but that's about it.
Yeah, he's on pace for 40-40. No he's not. 37 homers 40 stolen
bases. Jose Ramirez? Yes. This is a different Jose Ramirez? Isn't he a pudgy? Yeah. Pudgy guardian. He steals bases? Yes. Pudgy guardian like what? Pudgy guardian. Yeah yeah yeah. There's got to be something. There's a pudgy guardian out there. Hmm.
No, not that.
It's any fat dad.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Oh, Uncle Buck.
Oh, Brandon, you're a pudgy guardian.
Yeah, you're a pudgy guardian.
Oh yeah, you look great.
God damn.
It's rated PG.
Pudgy guardian.
Were you guys crapping on Brandon
for wearing those shoes again?
When I see you?
So I think it's like,
it's a tough back to back shoe. it's a tough back to back. Yeah.
But Tennessee State right? Yeah. Happy birthday Ed George. In fact yeah.
Happy birthday. Yeah. So apparently Nick's Slim and Huskies is a pizza spot in
Nashville or wherever Tennessee State is. So that's why Slim and Huskies is on
here. Okay that's a nice homage.
Yeah.
Is it an homage if it's just straight up the name?
I think it's an homage.
Okay.
Did you find out what the laces mean?
No, I didn't really put that much effort into it.
You're right, I shouldn't have gone back to back.
It was cocky.
It got cocky.
It got cocky.
And I apologize.
Is that a once a week shoe or once every other week?
This might be once every other week.
Are those the same socks too? No, they're different socks. These are sunflowers. Yesterday was palm trees, okay
Sunflowers I
Like a good sunflower you want sunflower picking didn't you? Yeah up in
Wisconsin mm-hmm. I love a good sunflower. It was great. It was great real sunflowers when they grow are tall as hell
Yeah, they should hoop instead of be flowers
Field sunflowers
Hell you doing there
Yeah, that was good. All right.
While the early sunflowers should be hoopers. They crush on tinder.
I'm trying. Danny Comrade's here. Oh cuz they're tall. Oh okay. All right. So tall people
crush on tinder? Yeah. I didn't know that.
Unless you have Marfan syndrome,
like that beast from Big Fish.
True.
Rest in peace.
Matthew. Hi, guys.
Matthew, what was it?
He's long dead.
McGorry?
Matthew McGorry.
Yeah, yeah.
McGorry.
Oh, you remember that, yeah.
Oh yeah, no, I remember that very well.
Do y'all still do that?
What?
Where you scripted that one joke and we oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, you did 38 wait till tomorrow. Oh, no, we used to do many takes. Yeah
That's not sustainable
In podcasting. Yeah, it's really weird to do. Anyway, you just kind of have to go. Yeah, you got to feel it
Yeah, is Marfan syndrome still going around? Is
it still out there? I feel like it was
something I learned about and then uh...
There was that one like uh basketball
player, he's like 6'8", he had walked real
weird. The dude who played for Spire
Academy. Yeah, now he was in the new alien
movie. So... Is he in a movie? Yeah, and he's
haunting. Yeah, I felt bad for him. Did
y'all see the 7'3", 13 year old that hits
what are your friends? Yeah. 7'3", 13 years old and he's haunting. Yeah, I felt bad for him. Did y'all see the 7 3 13 year old that hits what are you 7 foot 3 13 years old. He's playing against other 13 year olds and
it's it's shocking and I don't know if he's going to be a good best. I assume
he will be a good basketball player, but he can physically move. But he's he's
13. I don't think you can even say good basketball player because that means
like fundamentals and like, yeah, like he's just a sunflower right now he's like yeah 7-3 at 13 then there's that Chinese girl 7-6 right oh yeah that's that's
crazy but here he is 7-3 and he's playing other 12 good yeah he's not bad
travel like this isn't he's not learning anything yeah but is it worth being in
constant pain did he just dunk oh he almost runs with his shoulders down so
he can how do you point at the kid pass it like yeah it was you where is this ah
I don't know so everyone can agree that athletes across all sports are evolving
Yeah, oh, yeah, that's Marfan. Yeah. Oh ah that's it's it's when your head starts to grow sideways
tall
That's him and the alien yeah, that's him your your head. You're even your head is tall
They could have just CGI
Your head is tall. Yeah, tall ass head.
You feel like they could have just CGI'd him, huh?
Yeah.
As far as this movie appealing to the original fan base,
I think they'll really appreciate it.
But if you were like-
I don't like his glasses, he doesn't know it all.
Despite being very slender,
Robert needs to eat 5,000 calories per day
just to maintain his weight.
So he eats lots of calorie dense foods
not normally associated with athletes.
Why is everybody who talks British?
Back home, probably the pancakes.
Yeah. Oh God.
It's just so messy. Oh I want to give him a hug.
The chicken like a cigarette.
That of everything, the chicken like a cigarette.
His turds have to be last month's food.
It takes
so long.
I just wish I wasn't wearing my shoes.
Really? Yeah. You kind of made me feel bad
about it. No, no, no, no. You made Maybe feel really bad. I think they're cool and fly, but they're just they're so attention-grabbing mm-hmm
Take them off Brandon take them off no cuz then I'm just should we do a barefoot show then I'm just sitting
Sunflowers should we all lay in a pile and giggle on the floor and then do I was?
Holding back a giggle the entire time in that pop.
Really?
Yeah, I think you just got a bad break of luck because that did seem funny as well.
It was mad funny to me.
It was.
Oh, okay.
And like being on brand, your belly feels temper-pedic.
Yeah.
I was worried about breathing when you were resting on my belly.
Yeah.
Because there's a big difference in the in-breath and the out-breath.
That's part of it, three or four inches. Yeah
So no it wasn't
It I tried with all my might to straight face it. Okay. Is that how you win?
Was there other rules to the game? It's just you just say it just kind of chill start giggling. That's it
That's the rules. Have a good time with your church pastor a good group giggle
There's there's few things better. Mm-hmm. I think it's like the social peak of pleasure
I think so I think when you're sleep deprived with the homies and everything's funny rocks
Yeah, slap happy slap happy with the boys
That's great. We we missed out on that part for our sleepover. I was looking forward to that part most. Well, you brought it down.
You cried, right?
With the weeping.
That was a lie.
But I woke up and no one was there.
And it was raining outside.
Well, that doesn't sound like a sleepover.
Yeah, I was just on Nick's couch.
Everyone else had a room.
I may do.
Well, yeah.
I guess you could have just Ubered home.
In the middle of the night
It was late ubers closed
It was bad enough had to tell my uber driver on the way there that I'm going to a mail sleepover
You didn't have I don't think this had to at all. I did yeah, yeah gone to my head
How does a man yeah, you're a grown man driving an uber
Uber car and you have a 30 year old man, you're a grown man driving an Uber car
and you have a 30 year old man behind you,
I don't know what you are, but 30 years old,
and he says I'm going to a sleepover.
Does that Uber driver dreads that
or does he hear so many things it never even registers?
Yeah, I tried easing it, so I go into my friend's house
and I think I got there pretty late
and so I just threw in the fact
that it was a sleepover to see what he said.
He said, oh, that's cool. He didn't mean that. And so I just threw in the fact that it was a sleepover to see what he said you said oh
That's cool He didn't mean that and that does sound like most uber drivers. He could drive me off
Oh yes, that sounds amazing. It's me your uber driver
Very cool
Where are you headed today?
Where are you headed today? Yes, yes fellow white man, I'll put you up there.
Hi, I'm reading for the role of Uber driver.
Yes, get right in, are you? You must be Danny.
I'm excited to drive you around today.
Yeah, you're perfect. That would break any
immersion in a movie. I, I mean De Niro as taxi driver would never happen again
Yeah, that's right. No, I mean uber in America's or uber in Chicago is one thing but a taxi driver in New York
Yeah, never let's cast De Niro
Maybe back then
We will have Malasek in yeah in a couple of minutes 20 minutes, and we
Should we should we say the surprise? I don't know there is one
other
Well Cheyette Cheyette character oh
She applied on time, but you thought because of her first name. Yeah
Yes, so we have a very qualified candidate who put together an
Woman uh-huh in the Google form right?
name was required and she does have a
I guess it's a general neutral name, but like I've never met a woman named this traditionally. It's a man
It's a male name. It's a male name
So I just immediately discarded because we did get like 40 dudes submit, but those can be the hottest chicks dudes certainly
Great guy names resume she DM me on I forget what Twitter Instagram
And then let's test that is so true follow up and was like I'm really disappointed to make the show
She's like did you disqualify me because my name? I was like oh fuck. Who's the hottest girl with a guy name?
Hunter Schaefer
Was hot she's legitimately beautiful she was in you who's Hunter Schaefer
She's an actress. Why are you staring at me? I was very pretty yeah. Oh, okay. Blake Lively. No you're right. Blake Lively.
Yeah. There's a crazy
Baby, I'll name you Darryl. There is a limit though. I mean shots at Quincy wouldn't work
You don't think Quincy I think Quincy could be cute. What's it could work? I think Harold Perkins
Harold Perkins wouldn't fly for a talk shit
Would you put your foot down if like Danny you're single and alone like if there was a chick that came up
she's like I'm Harold Perkins. Would you be able to like date her?
Harold's tough. Harold. You have to explain it every single time. A chick named Dick would be tough.
How did
Big penis like acquired
Richard
William big penis like acquired Richard William
Peter Johnson just extremely common non-sexual non-phallic name. I just William
Willie all right well fair fair, okay?
Yeah, is there any names for small penis any money like penis as a
As a conglomerate I think oh well no cuz I yeah, I guess you could have a small Willie
I think what's a Kyle's point these are all very very common. Yeah, like those are common names nothing about them like
Adam
Mellogical Lee screams penis
Yeah, you're right for some reason Willie does yeah rod rod
I think we're just we're just
Rod
I think we're just we're just
Society we're fascinated with penises And we were always going to assign certain names and these just happen to be the lucky names that got the penises
Was Richard like the original Karen like that guy's a dick like oh, maybe Richard you're being a Richard right now
You're being a real. I don't think dick is medieval
I never knew how Richard and dick came together anyway back in the old days, they used to do rhyming nicknames.
So William, Will, Bill.
Robert, Rob, Bob. Richard, Rick.
That doesn't rhyme.
Richard became Dick. Rick became Dick.
Oh, Rick.
And then a gentleman named Richard Head sexualized Dick.
Richard Head is the guy that made head tennis rackets.
He's the author?
No, I was thinking that.
Satire author?
Oh.
There are multiple guys named Richard Head?
Is head tennis rackets?
I don't know.
I think his name's Dick Head.
Tch.
I mean, I can't look at the name Dick and not just
immediately, like Dick Teague is a funny name.
It is. Dick Teague is a funny name. It is.
Dick Teague.
That's...
Yeah.
Dick Turpin.
Dick Graves.
Dick Graves.
Dick Graves.
I have a couple of those in my backyard.
That's hard.
Yeah, that's the dumpster of behind the guy who
does sexual reassignment in Jersey.
Dick Couch.
Dick Couch.
This is my Dick Couch.
Dick King Smith
Dick smothers that's a good one one of the associate directors on save of the Bell's name is dick King
Dick wolf that's a famous one. Oh, yeah
dick bong
Great I love names talking fine. Oh my god, and he's like a war hero
Imagine getting killed by dick bong pissed major dick bong
Tripper that goes to the bachelorette. Oh, what a... Wow.
What a brutal life, dude.
You win a Medal of Honor and you're like,
hi, I'm Medal of Honor recipient Major Dick Bong.
And everyone just starts cackling.
Like, no, take me seriously, dude.
I'm a fucking war hero.
I've killed many a man.
That's why he became a war hero.
He like had to, it's like a boy named Sue.
Mom and dad, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend.
It's Major Dick bomb. Oh no
She's with major dick again
Danny would you be able to date a chick named major dick ball yeah, I have before
Should we just refer keep referring to Mason as they to fuck with mouth. Oh,, yeah, so yeah the girl that applied his name Mason. Yeah
Mason yeah Richard McNaught
Another a buck. No Buckeyes. Yeah, that's just a great name
He works at Tennessee State I feel like oh he's on any Georgia staff. I feel like if he played today he can make millions
and I'll salesman's Jersey yeah just not there'll be a new menu item at McDonald's yeah the
minute not that ain't male the in England the they have a plant-based burger called
the McPlant which is pretty funny socks they have a dip theybased burger called the McPlant. Which is pretty funny. It sucks.
They have a di- don't they have like a dessert called spotted dick?
Yeah, they do!
It looks like shit.
It looks like a spotted dick.
What is spotted dick?
I've heard of spotted dick, but what-
It's a dessert.
Yeah, but is it like a blood sausage?
Is it like a bread pudding type deal?
Spotted dick.
That is-
A traditional British steamed pudding.
Ugh.
Yeah, but if you...
I think if they brought that plate, you'd eat that.
You'd be okay.
Yeah, we'd eat it.
The problem is ordering it.
Yeah, I can't ask for a large, spotted dick.
I don't know, it doesn't look great.
If you're gonna get a dessert, get an A tier.
I mean, pudding is it let's be honest a
D tier wrong
Pudding is you know the banana pudding is my favorite dessert banana pudding vanilla wafer. Yeah, that's your favorite
That's my favorite dessert. It just came or it is my favorite chocolate pudding banana pudding
It's my chocolate pudding with the crumbs and not at all
Yeah, with the dirt dirt snack dirt Kyle fuck you dude. It's just other desserts are better
I would have a rather ice cream pudding so much better
Puddings and cakes are both great no a
Cake with a pudding layer in it come on now. Oh god
Oh, come on. No TJ's gonna. Go rogue and put fucking red vines and elite
But I can't tell what any of that. Yeah, it all looks too
Right right I'll say it Claire's are overrated. I don't even know what an eclair is yeah
I'll say it Claire's are overrated. I don't even know what an eclair is yeah, not ever as good
Rune suck to suck
Dessert they're just like a little tree
Even if we're saying we don't know what they are macarons do not suck no they suck
Like a like you the way you pop in a breath. Yeah, grab one you pop it away There's a lot of time to it's like holy communion. Yeah
That's not a dessert. That's just a little I don't want to pop in I don't want to overreact here, but fuck you Kate Wow
It's the equivalent like in an Andy's candies after Olive Garden look at that you can't possibly not like that look how fun
They're fun overrated.rated don't look like something
I want to eat they look like the spongebob out paintings painted. I don't think they're the same category as
They're not a dessert. They're just they're sweet. They're their own cookies aren't really even
Cookies are asked here cookies ice cream donuts pie
They're just cookies snacks, but if you go by taste of so there's desserts and there's sweet treats
And it's a pretty big difference. Yeah, cookies a sweet treat. Yeah, I want to get chef Donnie to make a spotted dick
Let's have a make a spotted. Ah Tj. Can you show can you what's going on here? What cake pops are up there?
Very humid out today
You want us to buzz it off uh no I Oh, you're a little flip. That's pretty cool, man. That means. OK. All right. You asking me for late night?
Do you want us to buzz it off?
No.
You want to do late night?
What's late night?
We discovered a guy named Late Night on mostly today
who puts his delectable treats online or the recipes
that he cooks up.
And then he puts them online.
And they're the most unappealing looking things
you've ever seen.
It's just a normal guy who, that's him.
Is he a normal guy?
He looks like Tim Hitchings.
Hair's going everywhere.
What about the hair on his arm?
Ooh, yeah.
Where's that hair coming from?
It looks like it's coming from the south.
Is it growing upwards?
So this guy puts every recipe he ever cooks online and it's it's it's the most unappealing stuff you've ever seen it
It kind of comes together and makes sense. But late night. Yeah, there you go. Let me see one. How'd you find this guy? We just
stumbled upon it. Cowboy toast? We googled cowboy toast. Yeah. What? Cowboy toast sounds delicious.
What is this site? Instructables. It teaches you how to makeable? It's like a website where you can make instructions
So he has a lot of like I built this here's how I built it and then a lot of I made this here
So I made this mm-hmm. He's got a lot of you, so and he's got a shit ton of
Hawaiian style rice with spam pepper steak gum and cheesy rice cheesy baked potato
I like the fidget toy right in the middle. Stuffed hamburger steak.
We looked at cowboy toast this morning.
Oh, loaded baked potato casserole.
Yeah, so it's a...
That looks pretty bad.
It all looks beige.
It all looks the worst version of that particular food.
Can you show them hamburger log?
What is this?
What is the hamburger log?
What are those things in the jar?
That one's tough.
Underneath the spicy pickled... Yeah, fried cheese haunted wait. Can we click his haunted house ideas? These are like food factor challenges
Wait this guy might be good
Family haunted house started 15 years ago. Yep. Yep. Yep, so this is just all his ideas. I like this guy. That's fun
And he wants to teach other people yeah Yeah I suppose he does. He's
a solid guy. He's having a blast. What are your thoughts on Halloween decorations? What's
the best way to go about decorating your house? Scariest fuck? Like just a little fall festive
look? I think just enough to make kids know that you're in on the Halloween. What about
the motion sensor candy bowl with the zombie hand above it?
Remember those?
You want to be like a cool guy and let the kids know, yeah, you come here when you trick
or treat, but you don't want to have them shit their pants.
Every neighborhood has the chainsaw guy.
Yeah.
And that guy is weird.
I think it's a fine line of doing too much.
Like if you do too much on Christmas decorations, okay, you're kooky and wacky and like that's cool. If you do too much on Christmas decorations okay you're kooky and wacky and like that's cool if you do too much on Halloween
decorations you're just kind of a freak Christmas is an appropriate holiday to
get too much too much yeah yeah you're you're a little weird but no one's
really judging you that much if you're like really into Christmas we do really
into Halloween although it's yeah flagged I hate people that get really
done what's that well you get triggered yeah I'm too and I'm gonna dress up I dress up yeah okay I've never had the
opportunity because I've always been in an apartment I've been known to dress up
for I hate people that get into into holidays and dress up for every single
holiday I've been known to do it from time to time. Look at me. Life is long and boring you gotta zhuzh it up a little bit.
Zhuzh it up yeah except on the yak when it's Halloween day it's literally
Halloween day and well's literally Halloween day.
And one guy shows up for Halloween dressed.
Halloween is on a weekday, right?
Thursday, I think, yeah.
Thursday.
What did we lose last year, President's Day?
Yeah, President's Day, I thought it was your best.
It was my favorite, which I was saving it for maybe use it.. I'm not gonna use it. I have it in my house.
I bought a... the biggest fucking...
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You can use it.
What about next year? We don't know when President's Day is gonna be in February, do we?
I don't know when President's Day is like on the day.
You need to save it.
I can't even imagine.
It's not like a specific...
It's not the best costume, but it's like the funniest one to me because it's inconvenient. Yeah. Yeah, it's just stupid. I
Like that. It's akin to the recycling bin. You're just like
Yeah, my neighbor has like a 12 foot skeleton like right in the front
Like right in the front a lot of people in my neighborhood right in the fuck leave them up a year round and decorate them now for like it's it's holding eggs for Easter
It's dressed up for Halloween a lot of people in your neighbor
I'm telling you there's like five different full size that when we walk to daycare we give them names like here's Shelley the Skelly
Here's mr.. Bones. Here's because they're we got it. We got a we got a renegotiate
Get you out of wherever that We gotta we gotta renegotiate Using the guy from big fish's skeleton yeah, oh yeah McGroory's I
Notice Chris you ever see in the past couple years. They have like a Christmas dragon now
That's just become part of the regular Christmas
Dragon yeah, I don't think you just add in random characters like you can't add
Yeah, especially there's a lot TJ check Christmas dragon. I want't seen a Christmas dragon. Yeah, I don't think you can just add in random characters. You can't add in Christmas characters. Yeah, especially if you're a dragon.
There's a lot.
TJ, check Christmas dragon.
I wanna see if this is.
It's one of those big inflatable things
people will put on their lawn.
Really?
And it's just a red and green dragon.
The inflatables have really taken over
over the last five years. I hate them.
They've taken over?
Yeah, they've really taken over
the Christmas decoration game.
Yeah, that thing.
They suck.
Wow.
What's his name?
TJ, do you like the Christmas dragon? A very Gary Christmas. His name's Gary? I don't
know if he comes from a show or something. Home Depot's holiday mascot. Oh. Why Home
Depot? Well so I was reading a few years ago the skeleton, the giant skeleton, it was this
guy made it and tried like I guess you can try and pitch things to Home Depot. Yeah.
And so he made this giant skeleton and Home Depot was like, I guess we'll see if we sell any.
And they became like a massive hit overnight, like a viral sensation.
And so now I think they're looking for their next giant skeleton all the time.
Me, John Rich, Fidelberg, and Wonton Don built one at Fidelberg's last year.
How did you build it in an apartment?
Did it just stand up in the apartment?
Fidelberg invented Saturdays or for the boys?
He has tall ceilings dude fair enough
He's got the SA
FTB money
There was a guy who lived a couple miles away in Jersey
But I drive by his house a lot that had the giant skeleton is one of the first people to have but he has it up
All year and just generates it with different. Yeah, that's crazy Wow
None of us can relate to that. That's crazy. Do you like the dragon che? I don't like the dragon
He's not gonna know
You like dragons, sir
Culturally, yes.
Dragon D's nuts.
I can't do it.
Me dragging these nuts on your face?
That's pretty good.
I mean, you need better execution, but that's good.
Oh yeah, you do need, yeah.
I guess so.
Well, tell us more.
So he keeps that skeleton out all year round?
Yeah. That's gotta be a one-of-one story
I've never heard anything like that
What were you saying earlier about your very unusual? I've never seen such a why don't you have stories like that? I don't know
Yeah, the problem one of my neighbors sorry Danny big skeleton what they don't fucking take it down
He'll be he'll be holding a menorah on
Yeah, the whole year it it it's unbelievable I've never heard of that happening
Anyways, Jay have you picked up on this yet?
All right happening anyways Jay have you picked up on this yet all right super duper sorry I'm doing a bunch of things right what uh how can I help you oh can we talk
about chase not Twitter tiny last pretty interesting Jay what did he do on
Twitter let's let you see the TJ Texas morning let's do a little math I don't that's weird at all. I don't know how long it takes you guys to spank it, but it ain't like 15 minutes
Wait, yeah, exactly is so
Defiant right now TJ. Do you have that image that you sent us?
All right, that wasn't what we were pointing out by the way Jay the 15 minutes thing
Sweet 16, and I don't know what you're pointing out or pointing out
What happened in the between sending that and then the other? Were you multitasking?
Yeah, I tugged it.
Right!
We got that part.
I don't know what's weird about it.
I logged off.
Immediately and then...
Uh huh.
Straight to business.
You don't see how people would think there might be a correlation?
Well, I'm just saying there's a long time in between that.
Like I could have done other things in between. That's's a long time in between that. Like I could have done other things in between.
That's not a long time in between.
I mean it's plenty enough time to get stuff done.
So in that 18 minute window, what would you have done other?
You sent the tweet and then you're like, I'm going to go jerk off.
I think it was like I'm closing Twitter, like I'm about to head in for the night and yeah,
did my usual.
All right.
Hmm. I'm about to head in for the night and yeah did my usual all right hmm huh at
some point there's a last tweet or last thing you do there really is really has
to be correlated at some point you do have the last accomplishment of the day
and then you did that can you get a can you malice that come on in here if
you're watching I'll call do you think you'll ever get a standing ovation before
you die I don't think so Kyle I thought about that a lot and I think my standing
ovation days are past me or what would have stood in as my standing ovation
days I don't think I'll ever be able to get one. Yeah. No, you will.
I'm also, there's two things.
I want a standing ovation and I want to be in a Hall of Fame.
You'll stand in, you're most likely the dozen somehow.
Oh, when you finally get it now.
Okay, that is realistic.
That is realistic.
That's a standing ovation.
If we were able to win,
I think we could get a standing ovation.
Fair enough, I could get that.
Yeah.
I got one from my eighth grade graduation speech.
Oh, was that good?
Yeah.
I don't quite remember.
I had a joke about Shakira in it.
Where was it?
The church.
St. Vincent de Paul.
Church.
Yeah.
These film festivals have painted themselves
into a corner where they have to now clap
for...
If you want to demonstrate that the movie is good, you have to clap for at least 10
minutes.
Or else...
What is it, can?
It's always like an hour.
Yeah.
Like, what the fuck?
Yeah, they corner Brendan Fraser.
If you get a five-minute standing ovation for your movie, your movie is dogshit.
They've watered down the standing ovation.
Yeah, they've ruined it.
All these...
You think I can sneak into a Hall of Fame?
Yeah, easily.
You want to get in the Rutgers fan hall of fame this year?
Wait, Brandon can get in the Rutgers fan hall of fame?
The nominations are open now.
We could definitely get you in.
Let's get him in.
Well, I don't...
You and me, buddy.
I want to be honest.
I'm not a Rutgers fan.
There's a Rutgers fan Hall of Fame?
I'm in it.
All right.
Is it a physical building?
No, Ronald McDonald gave me a T-shirt and a jersey.
It was sponsored by McDonald's.
Oh, it's some sort of fundraising initiative for Rutgers.
What's the most likely Hall of Fame you could get in?
Is there like a Mississippi sports?
I think there is one.
I wouldn't get in that.
I think I can get in the West Point Mississippi Hall of Fame that's
on the wall at City Hall. Oh, your hometown? Yeah, I would
hope so. I think I can but I think I got to return home and
do things at home. Your hometown has a Hall of Fame.
Yeah, just uh the two people a year get their pictures on the
wall at City Hall as the Hall of Fame and I want to be one of
them but I'm not there yet. If you guys did the college
football show at Mississippi State, you'd get standing O, no?
Yeah, I would get one there, but we're never gonna do that
because that would bring me joy.
You could get on that wall.
Oh, am I in?
I wanna get on that wall.
Yeah, I think you could do that.
I've never even heard of any of these people.
I'm trying to think of people that we work with
that would be in Hall of Fame before you.
There's probably like 24, 25 people
I'd put in before you.
Yeah, about two dozen. Yeah, what if the Hall of Fame's before you there's probably like 24 25 people I put out for you yeah yeah about two dozen yeah what if the Hall of Fame
class is limited to just the top 24 for that year well I've proven over multiple
years I'll never get in then I didn't think you wanted in no I really I do I
do I do actually want it if there's something big like that I just thought
me showing up every day was proof that I wanted in are
any of you on the wall of a restaurant? No, I'm okay. I'm
not sure I want that. I was on the wall. That would have been
something I would me and Marty Bush were on a Hooters in New
York City. That's all closed. It closed. Yeah. I'm in the Troll
Hall of Fame. Yeah, you are. What's the Troll Hall of Fame?
That's in Ohio. The fictional creatures. Yeah, you are What's the Troll Hall of Fame? That's in Ohio. Like the
The fictional creatures. Oh, maybe they took it down though. If you live near Alliance, Ohio
See if your photos still up. Yeah for your online trolling. You have a little section Are you doing different with your hair today Kyle? Yeah, I'm fucking doing everything but research
Hair research? Yeah, cuz I don't wanna to go like, what do you even do?
Like look up Pinterest.
Yeah, you're improv zhuzhen.
Yeah.
It's just that you're looking at me
and your hair is definitely different than it is
every single day I've ever looked at you.
Well, does Brandon know the news about you?
I don't know the news about you.
What's the news about you?
Oh, I'm Cuban.
He's Cuban.
I didn't know that.
Congratulations.
Wow. When did that happen?
two weeks ago
Pretty cool, huh? It is cool. Yeah, it's first Cuban man. I've known
Came out as Cuban congrats Jake you take a picture to your barber. No
I just say this but shorter I would do that that I do the same thing whatever this is just shorter
I've started showing a picture of myself because it's always weird showing hot guys
I do that like make me look like Paul Mezcal. I have we can't do that
I have a picture of my best haircut. I got in New York, and I just show them the yeah
You Google yourself though to prove it a little bit you Google and and go to images. I just haven't saved my camera roll.
No I actually.
Yes you do.
You send them the link to Google.
I want it to look like this.
Make sure there's a watermark over it.
I actually text the lady that did my hair in New York
every time I get a new haircut
and I have her text me that picture.
Okay.
So I don't keep it in my camera roll
but I do need her to keep it in hers.
Okay.
Is she just like scroll up to our last text?
I don't know.
No yeah probably. Probably. Uh
hey, Jake. What's up, guys? How you feeling? Good. Uh some of
the eliminated reached out to you yesterday. Yup. I got some
messages uh trying to explain some of the um Tina already
reach out. She clarified that when she said uh she watches
the stream, she just meant football in general and you said too bad toots and block the
Barstool stream. Well, she did say streams. That was yeah, but uh, no some of the girls reached out that were eliminated
Unfortunately, they seem nice
But the show must go on did that a part of you want to give and just be like, okay
You can be back in or you pretty stern
I was I didn't respond to most of them, but I did read them. So if're watching this well, that's worse. Yeah, don't I will get back to you. That's way worse
Yeah, I didn't respond most of them. I did ignore them
I did read them. I did see you
Opposite of that's not what they want. Yes, you being a dickhead. I realized that as I said that
But I did see them so any regrets no not because of that weren't
pretty no no but I just so you know it is what it is harsh won't go ahead and
eliminate all of them no regrets is there a level of attractiveness that a
woman could be that you would be like oh fuck I fucked that up uh I mean I'm sure
none of these women sure there is none of these women were it no but I'm excited
to see some rooms and hear some voices today.
Yeah. That's the deal. This is blind so you don't know which of these.
So should we get right into it or should we do an ad?
I'll do an ad. Alright. Then we'll do some rooms and voices. Let me pee.
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All right, so we have voices and pictures of rooms.
Do we want to do them out of order?
Or do we want to say, all right, here's contestant one.
Here's her voice, and here's her room?
Yeah, I'd like both together, I think.
They also send in what they don't like about me.
Oh, yeah.
Did they send that in, Jay?
Yes.
Nice.
So did they all have something?
So we recently in the last couple minutes
just got our final person.
We have 12.
We have 12?
Oh, wow.
We only had 11.
Oh, because oh, yeah.
Yeah, we have 12.
Wow.
Who is the?
Well, we had a really weird.
They were a late ad.
There was a late ad.
It was my miss.
I dis-carded them from the Google survey because they have a more masculine. You OK with that? There was a they were late at there was a late ad it was my miss I ex I
Survey because they have a more
With that let me ask Mason. I think is a cool girl is a man's name on immediate. No, that's her name's Mason She's still in yeah, yeah, it's never stopped you before I like that
Oh weird you like a man you've been with oh, I'm Mark Mark
Fuck fuck off mark fuck on come on mark. I'm gonna beat your ass
All right, this is cool. We like we like Mason. That's the cool name
All right, Jay, so I guess we'll just go contestant number one.
He does do a good impression.
Are we saying who? Fuck.
No, no, no.
Okay.
Hey, Kyle wasn't here. Can you do your tightest impression?
It'll come back.
It'll come back?
What?
I'm sure he'll say some stupid ass shit.
Oh my God!
Oh fuck!
Bitch ass.
God damn!
Finding love can do crazy things to people
Imagine
Imagine being that defensive when somebody
Jokes a tiny bit that you might be a little
Gay. Yeah well fuck you!
Yeah dude you're
Definitely gay
Is it spelled M-A-s-o-n
Yes, all right cool, that's cool
All right, can it once we're gonna bring up the room, okay?
I'll say what the thing they don't like or complain about you. Yeah, and then we will play the audio
That's a good order good order, and then I'll be nameless
Is or no
No, no, I like I like going in before we get into it any That's a good order, good order. And then that'll be nameless. Do you want to text the group who it is or no?
No, no, I like going in blind as well.
Before we get into it, any bedroom deal breakers?
If it is messy, I would be shocked
if any of these are messy,
because you had a chance to prep.
That'd be weird, but they'd be real.
What about like a live, laugh, love poster?
I'm sure I'll see some. Rank these things that you don't want to see in the rooms like what okay from like to dislike
Yes
live laugh love okay
Saturais are for the boys flag
nightstand dildo
A bunch of bottle waters a bunch of empty bottled waters in terms of best to worst
Best to worst that stores best bottles of water. Okay number one. That's fine
She's hydrated number two would be live laugh love
Three would be dildo on the table four would be Saturdays of the boys flag. That's the correct answer. Thank you
What about like five nightstand dildos? He doesn't. I'm quickly learning that Jake does not want to date a woman who consumes Barstool content.
And the best way to find that woman is on the Yak.
By sorting through submissions from women who watch the Yak.
This will go well. Let's do it.
This will go well.
Yeah, this is a great program.
Bulletproof.
Alright, Jay Jay room number one
All right candidate
Complaint my brother told me he uses he only uses shampoo and water when he showers, and I don't love that
Oh, so a brother submitted, okay?
Right off the bat yeah, yeah right off the bat um
Hmm there's not
This is fun. It's not a wide bed. That's good. What you talk about it
We zoom in a little bit so I can see a little bit better. This is I think it's cute, but not a big room no
Tastefully decorated yeah, there's a lot of stuff. He already has her look is that a pumpkin?
That's so she's got her fall stuff out dog crate great. I don't create my dog could be for you. Okay, well
The bed fucks up with the bed. That's an arm. There you go. Jet. What any bed?
Kind of looks like a bed and breakfast room a little bit
Yeah, but it's a thin bed and doesn't have a lot of reinforcements, which is, you know.
Yeah.
No headboard.
No headboard.
I guess, no, that looks like a rack.
It's not a heavy guy.
So no headboard?
Huh.
Ear muffs, but me and the bee would snap that bed now.
Two seconds, the frame would just.
When he's wailing.
Yeah, forget it.
Yeah, this is very grandma.
When he's wailing, forget it.
That's a very grandma-esque room.
I think that it's a grandma-esque bed. I don't know if it's a grandma-esque room.
But I feel like my grandma's house would have a room that looks like that.
I agree, Jake. She has a face steamer down in the corner, so probably clear, nice skin.
Is that what that is?
Fascinating.
I like the color of the wall. See, I don't. I do a lot of gays shit. Clear nice
You don't like the color oh, I don't know if she does but is it a deal-breaker if she still lives at home
Like with her parents. Yeah, I mean
I'm not one to dual monitor Jake. Do you care about that? Mm-hmm, she's busy. Is that a dual monitor?
No, that's a mirror.
Oh shit, okay.
That's a TV and yeah.
How do you feel about that, the angle of the TV to the bed?
Yeah, what's the point of that?
That's a good point TJ.
I mean, that's, it's probably straight.
Supposed to sit on it?
Yeah, that's a good point TJ.
I also think the pictures are too high.
That fan is hilarious.
What? That little... No, no, no, no, on the bottom, the bottom fan. Oh yeah, that is funny as fuck. I also think the pictures are too high that fan is hilarious what?
The bottom fan oh yeah, that is funny
That's a funny fan all right, so how do you you? This is almost as average as it could possibly get. I don't, this is a unique bedroom.
I think so.
But like, this is such a five across the board.
All right.
Well, let's hear her voice.
Yeah.
Okay.
As far as I'm concerned, that's America's ass.
Okay, so she's a superhero movie fan.
I know that's a
One of the Marvel Avenger movies
Didn't love it
You know what about the voice no, I'm saying
No horrific accent, good pronunciation. Standard.
That's the most adorable girl.
Five.
Five across the board on all three of those.
That's a very solid baseline for what
we're going to deal with here.
I think that's a good baseline for girls.
All right.
Can we save his ratings to like out of 10?
That room got a five.
Like, can we save that for him?
That whole profile got a five.
That whole profile got a five.
OK.
Yeah, take notes.
I got it.
Also, if you guys, so I feel like we should do a draft about presenting the whole combo
So if you guys have favorites just kind of take mental notes of that okay?
I'm gonna write. I just got
DM today is dick bongs birthday
How did we miss that he was born in Superior, Wisconsin?
September oh how the fuck that is a crazy office
Ain't that goofy
So dick bongs birthdays today and
Dick McNutt so how a state player is that Tennessee State where Brandon has shoes from today?
I don't like any of this and it's Eddie George's
I'm wait
Any George but Eddie George has the same birthday as dick ball. Oh my god. I'll never forget that wait
This is weird. They just found dick bongs playing this year
He crashed and like was never found again, and they just found his plane. They found a boy away
Wow 38 and then today's F Scott Fitzgerald's birthday
Who is a how do we tie this on island in the jungle team finds fighter plane flown by ace pilot dick bong?
Wow after 80 years this year. Is he dead I?
Don't know so I don't know if he survived that I
Mean if they didn't find the plane, I don't know
But maybe he was sitting in the cockpit for eight years thank God
Bridge in Duluth happy birthday major rich
Look at that bridge
Well, happy birthday major it
Look at that bridge
No, so he's he's very accomplished famous as fuck and again all we're doing is just tick-ball
Imagine you want to kill yourself on the dick and then you read the name of their bridge as you're walking on like I got to pick another person. That was taken on September 11th! Oh my god!
This is a day.
What's his middle name? I?
Dick I Bong?
I-ra. Dick I-ra Bong?
That rocks!
Alright.
Whoever tweeted that at me,
thank you for DM'ed it to me.
Alright, five for the first one, huh?
Yup. I wrote three notes that said Me All right, five for the first one, huh? Yep.
I wrote three notes that said, mech voice, granny bed,
Marvel fan for room number one.
Sheesh.
OK.
You're a beautiful person, whoever you are.
Next.
This is fun.
Kate, do you want to turn it into a Kate dating show?
No, but I feel like they're owed a little love.
All right.
Candidate two, their complaint that you've They're owed a little or yeah candidate to
Their complaint we haven't seen the room yet
Plane is that mouse like a shit in a jar hmm yeah, yes, that is true
But that's because me and Kyle asked him once
This is this is good. I like this good windows a good room good a good room. Good windows. It's a good room, I like the plants.
I like the windows.
I assume that's for getting yourself ready in the morning
maybe, right?
That's just for a lot of things.
That's like Connor's little.
Bistro.
Bistro.
Yeah.
That's a nice room.
I like it.
Yeah, this is nice.
Hydroflask, right?
This has the look of a guest bedroom almost.
Yeah, it looks too sterile. Maybe it's not lived in I
Like this a lot
There's no personality. You don't know anything. I like he doesn't like quality
This is what my doesn't like quality what my bedroom looks like to more or less. No, I have nothing
Yeah, no pictures. No, not a damn thing. I like that a lot. Oh, I like I was lived in
I'm gonna yeah, that's gonna get that in a really non-descript
I like I was lived in home. Yeah, that's really non-descript script. I'm saying great room
That's just that could be a hotel. Yeah, I like that
Didn't have time put the mirror up the plant. I like the plant a lot. That's a nice plant
It's a it. I do love the windows
This is solid. This is very solid. I'm interested to hear what you have to say about the voice
Okay, zoom in on the bathroom, so what was the
She doesn't like that I poop in the cup yeah, okay that one time oh
It's a curtain Instead of a door. There's no door
Yeah, you might smell poop. That's all right um all right eight out of ten room. I like the room. All right solid room voice
Okay, hi all um here are some lyrics from a
Band that I like
Will read them
Lay where you're laying don't make a sound
I know they're watching they're watching all the commotion the kitty like play has people talking
talking
You your sex is on fire
Thank you
Jay Wow
Nine and a half
We have a front runner all around us
Ozzy, Ozzy, Ozzy baby
Alright, this guy's about to come
Love that
Ozzy with a plain room dude?
Loved that
Now you're being too nice, she's obviously a whore
Yeah, you're right Kate nine and a half out of ten that was Jesus Wow she's a little
bashful too that was fantastic talking is that Kings of Leon?
Wow it's too bad you shitting that jar you wow wow wow wow what a performance
from room number two.
Two candidates in, we already have...
And then like...
Even with no bathroom door, that's fine.
Fine.
Cause you can hear Australian shit mouth.
Yeah.
Oi!
Oi!
Minion help.
What a performance.
Alright, so... Strong. Strong strong number two now give the profile
Laughing up mark
To nothing to nothing
All right room number three I'm excited. This is great
All right candidate three
Quote something. I don't love about Jake is that he seems quite indecisive. Oh
at three quote something I don't love about Jake is that he seems quite indecisive oh that's pretty personal good that pisses you off huh it's a good
solid room here I don't know about don't love the color of the sheet yeah this
could be a man's horrible color of the sheet this could be a man's room in the
carpet to what's that thing above the bed fan no the that painting I that's
famous though isn't it that's a was it's nice and that's fine
Okay
Yeah, it's the color of the sheet is throwing me. Oh, that's a boyish amount of stickers on the laptop
Yeah, it was the man in the
Frank Sinatra
That's a golf ball you said Frank Sinatra? That's a weird. Is that a golf ball? You said Frank Sinatra, I said Freddy Krueger.
The golf ball.
Looks like an army man?
That's Clint Eastwood.
It is Clint Eastwood.
Oh yeah.
Weird.
Okay.
Cool.
This could be a guy.
Is that a golf ball?
I don't think it.
I think it's pretty feminine.
What are the books?
Yeah, there's Chachkis.
I feel like guys don't have books like that.
Is there any college at Hoover?
I got books like that.
Bleach?
Oh, there's hearts.
Hearts are good.
Mm-hmm.
What is the college? Where do you see a college? Oh, there's hearts. Hearts are good. What is the college? Where do you see college? Oh, yeah, something
diploma. Oh, nice. John Jay. That's probably a high school
says university. That's in New York City. You can read that. I
think that last word is universal. That's not John is
it? Oh, yeah, probably. Now, James, it's not James Madison.
It's not long enough. No, it does look like a J at the beginning.
All right.
What about the stickers on the laptop?
Oh, yeah.
Let's get in there.
Yeah, let's zoom in on that.
What do you think of only two pillows?
That's whatever.
That's fine.
I think there's more back there, isn't there?
They'd have to be pretty flat.
I can't get over the color of the sheet.
Look at the texture.
It's so teal. Oh
Yeah, that's a lot of books
Might be an older lady. Yeah
This really gives you a window into somebody's like life. right, what are they not like about... Chad is guessing New York University
or Iowa State University.
Okay, take it.
This was the one where something I don't love about Jake
is he seems quite indecisive.
Indecisive, that's right.
Which is fair.
That was very much akin to room number one.
I'm gonna give that a solid five and a half.
So five room across the board there?
Yeah. Just an average ass room. Mm-hmm. So five room across the board there? Yeah.
Just an average ass room.
Mm-hmm.
Let's see if the voice can bump that up.
Say teal sheet.
I always tell the girls, never take it seriously.
If you never take it seriously, you never get hurt.
You never get hurt, you always have fun.
And if you ever get lonely,
just go to the record store and visit your friends.
That's a good voice.
That's an ASMR voice.
That's a good voice. That's an ASMR voice.
I don't know what that's from.
Can we find out?
Almost Famous.
Is it Almost Famous?
Duh.
Never seen it.
Nice, Kate.
That's a great movie.
You should see it.
Solid voice.
Overall, I'll give that like a 6 out of 10.
OK.
Performance in that bundle.
So number one was three three number two was one
and number three was two yes as of right now okay okay all right
candidate for complain about Jake he keeps so casually dropping new deadly
allergies that's true no okay okay what else is when I said the cat I said the
cat I would die I'm not actually gonna die, but I won't be able to like
Like my I'll just be sneezing all the time, but every day you add a new I only have one allergy
That's not soap the peanuts peanuts will kill me. That's the only thing that will kill me, but cats make you sneeze
That's an allergy. Yes, but I have other allergies the deadly allergy allergic to dogs. You have to have a hypoallergenic dog
These are not deadly allergies though, but they're allergies
Yes, yeah, I'm a Jew like what do you mean to do? Like I it's sorry allergies. All I wanted was a sorry
We are an allergenic people
But are you at the point where you won't enter a room that a cat is in does it get that bad?
It takes 15 ish minutes, but after 15 minutes, I leave like I'm out good to know But are you at the point where you won't enter a room that a cat is in? Does it get that bad? Uh, it takes... pfft...
fifteen-ish minutes, but after fifteen minutes I gotta leave.
Like, I'm... I'm out.
Good to know.
A few girls rushing to change the thing they don't like about Jake now.
Uh, Jake, everybody withdrew?
Hahahaha!
Fuck you, Mark.
Hahahaha! Alright. What? Let's see the room. I Fuck you mark
All right, let's see the room
Solid solid solid solid this is actually probably my favorite room so far
This is crazy 80% bad. This is phenomenal. This is what a bedroom should look like I love it
I actually do like the bed
But they put this together in an hour This is an empty room and they just threw shit together and took a picture. This is a furniture. I want my bedroom look like this
What is that? Oh, it's a dude. I think
This looks fantastic air pods and it looks like an attic room with a Is that a year photo? Oh, a year? This looks fantastic. AirPods.
And it looks like an attic room.
Like, the ceiling is a little bit better.
Yeah, I agree.
Maybe it's just the angle.
It's like an extra room in a house, not really an actual,
or a real room.
This looks so comfy cozy.
What's that?
Mirror Max.
Mirror Max.
So that's just an empty frame, isn't it?
Oh, an empty frame.
That's a mirror, and that's showing.
This girl just moved in.
OK.
Oh, my god. She's all over shit. OK, I'll just move into this place.
OK, so she's she's in the process of hanging art.
Could you picture yourself fucking on that?
This is great. So, yes, you know, this is fantastic.
What? Yeah, OK, this is a solid eight and a half.
That's a crazy number for that.
Also, she's gonna hang up those pictures.
You're gonna hate it when that happens.
No, but I'm just saying,
if you guys are all upset about this,
there's pictures waiting to be hung on the side.
Well, we're not trying to have sex on that bed.
Eight and a half out of 10.
There's a rug under the bed like that?
Weird. I have that.
No, that's the move.
No cold feet when you first step out.
When you come out of the bed, you know. The bed looks perfect. It's a good bed. That's what I'm saying. No, that's the move no cold feet when you're that way when you when you come out of the bed
Yeah, you have that the bed looks perfect. Yeah, I'm saying it looks amazing. It's a good big nice comfort everything about the bed
I like the one dark pillow. This is a great room. All right now close your eyes imagine. You're laying in that bed
You're asleep. Good night sleep. Che play the voice is the first thing you hear in the morning
Never the blood stays on the blade
One more time one more time never the blood stays on the blade one more time
good boy never the blood stays on the blade that's a good voice what's that
from I have no idea I'll say it was giving me Kelly Keeks a little bit a
little murdery a little yeah I don't discuss my co-workers like that um that
was good yeah so what's that what's that from a little short blood stays on the blade? Uh?
gangs of New York aid
Wow
Yeah, movie eight and a half out of ten that she's in the second place slot at the moment That's to the Australian. Yes, Australian still in first
The other two are probably out
Yeah, how much are we narrowing it down to today had to get maybe six we got 12 any submission I think I think maybe keep them and then
draft them tomorrow and then those people that don't get drafted will be
out no maybe uh we will change it we'll do a point system today okay first place
gets ten second nine eights all the way down. And then we'll do another conference tomorrow. Do something else tomorrow. Yeah.
Yeah, the score.
Cumulative.
Cumulative.
Cumulative score.
There should be like a talent portion, maybe?
Yeah, but I don't want them to show themselves yet.
Tell a joke.
Tell a joke would be good.
I like tell a joke.
What else can people do without showing sing the national anthem
What about show what they eat for dinner So play me the dinner. I don't mind dinner chair. I like meals. That's a good one
Maybe another thing they don't like about Jake and another thing they don't like something they fucking hate about something they hate about me and uh
something And another thing they don't like about Jake. Something they fucking hate about Jake. Something they hate about me. And something, hmm. Yeah, okay, yeah, those are good.
I like dinner and.
What about love language?
I don't hate that either.
Language.
What is that?
Like if you were like, oh, my love language is touch.
What if we laid out a.
My love language is giving gifts.
Does handwriting matter to you?
No. Or we could like lay out a scenario love language is giving gifts? Mm-hmm. Does handwriting matter to you? Uh, no
Or we could like lay out a scenario and see how they would react
Yeah, oh what if they draw a picture of themselves? Oh
Self-portrait self-portrait like yeah how they view themselves like you get a confidence
Oh, what's the thing where it's like how my boyfriend sees me versus how I see my boy. They have like the the grid of nine
You're seeing that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah put that yeah together for themselves. Okay. I see myself doing tricks on it now little bro
Yeah, I think I like drawing yourself draw yourself your dinner
Picture of their dinner
Yeah, whatever you guys want to do. I don't you all these sound good
Yeah, and do you want to do joke joke? A joke. I like jokes.
Dinner?
Dinner.
A joke would probably inspire a copycat, like somebody else's joke.
Well, if they find out you're stealing a joke, that might bother Jake.
Or he might like it.
Well, I mean, you can steal a joke.
It's really the delivery here and how kind of relatable they are.
And what you find funny, it gives you a sense of humor.
Like your favorite joke.
Your favorite joke.
Yeah.
Not everything is their joke. I mean it be a joke
They took like right
We could also do joke or impression yeah, okay joke or impression joke or impression meal self-portrait. I scared of you motherfuckers
That would go a long way
Just said a picture of what your fridge looks like like the inside. Yeah, I love that
Let's do fridge over dinner fridge over dinner. Yes, All right cool Have you guys seen fridge scaping? No, it's the new trend where women make the insides of their fridges incredibly aesthetic
So like there's not just the food. There's tiny vases with like flowers and
Containers and it's like a whole it's like a hobby for women
Beautiful anyways women be doing too much. Yes. This is fridge scaping
Oh, beautiful. Anyways, women be doing too much.
Yes, this is fridge caping.
That does look awesome.
No, it doesn't.
This is crazy.
It does suck.
That is crazy.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
I love my fridge.
White women need to be stopped.
Ha.
This is insane.
Yeah.
So maybe one of them does that.
$6,000 Fridges talk
No, oh
Yeah, fuck this yeah, just bored them yeah
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all right who we got next chair room five candidate five uh complaint from alice like
his dislike for children trying their best to sing the national anthem is a bit strange
yes yes but i look forward to understanding it more and growing my own detest towards them. Wow. Nice. Nice. She's a fan. She's opening hahaha what was that hahaha
hahaha
no
quick pics
that's funny as shit
hahaha
no way
quick pics
hahaha
two tvs
holy shit oh she's a riot dude
That's a cool see that's a great room wait time is a bedroom or is this a living room
I don't know, but it's this was a picture that we got for
Good that's really fucking funny. It's really funny
Joke is just I watch quick
Shit that's fucking funny.
Other than that, clean carpet.
This looks great. That carpet looks great.
Good carpet.
Cool feeling.
This is her bedroom?
Did you teach her how to do that?
She could be sitting on her bed.
This could be like a studio too.
That's a big ass bedroom. This is really cool. Yeah, that's an interesting space
Yeah, I like it. So I assume that the bathroom is behind the TV wall
Yeah, the plan to guess or could be the door out to like the hall or the plants placement by the TV is a little crazy
It's covering up you so that's good. That's like table. They're taking
It's extremely rare for a girl to go double TV.
What's on the top TV?
What's that event?
Looks like golf.
Golf.
OK, nice.
This is a fascinating room.
Good chord management.
Wait, let's look at the wardrobe really quick.
Let's take a closer look at the wardrobe.
I like the wardrobe.
Boots.
What kind of shoes?
This is just our coats.
Those are fun coats.
Those are good coats.
We like them.
Yeah.
A lot of coats.
Oh, some cowboy boots. No, this is cool our coats those are fun coats are good coats we like
This is a very solid entry what is that like a guitar backpack? Yeah?
This is good alright solid no my favorite room is yeah, I would Know the the the non the non picture walled one was still my the most basic one that had nothing
But I do like that one. That's why I'm most by number two fuck number two
I'm gonna give that a eight to room okay. I think that would be third overall to see no
Yes, you're right. Yeah, and her divorce. Yeah, I know what you want okay all right you want to
hear yeah all right hey Jake I wrote you 365 letters I wrote you every day for a
year it wasn't over it still isn't over that might be Rachel McAdams.
It's a lot of inside jokes already. Is that good or bad? That was just you know, he doesn't that's that is unlikely a white woman would love the notebook
She's pandering for sure. She definitely doesn't like that. That's my dream threesome is McAdams and Gosling
Thoughts on the voice solid voice solid voice warm soft. Warm, soft. Were there birds chirping in the background?
Let's hear that voice again.
Hey Jake. I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you every day for a year. It wasn't over. It still isn't over.
That's Rachel McGathey. Solid, solid, solid.
Do you have butterflies in any way? you feel anything inside any fluttering?
Any sense of excitement that that is now I'm gonna say nine out of ten for that for that
So she's second second place at the moment the author. I'll show you I'll see you still in first place
Is the Aussie beatable cuz she yeah, all right
Yeah, they have different laws down there, I think.
Yeah, you can.
9 out of 10. Solid entry.
Alright, candidate 6.
I don't think you should ding these people based on the order that they were listed in, but this is a repeat.
He wasn't hesitant about participating in the poop experiment.
It's a bad thing.
There.
Damn.
Oh, city.
City girl.
Interesting.
Mm-hmm.
Like the good...
I like this.
She's making use of the space.
I love this. I love this.
Great use of the space.
This is my favorite.
These are good rooms.
Very good room.
I like the... Oh, nice. Yeah, I like the lantern light on the imagine a snowy day being all snug
Oh my god. I like having a sound bar hung up the TV watching girls in the rain
Okay for TV watching uh habits. Yeah sound bar good TV. This is fantastic organized clean a phenomenal
Let's let's do it on the laptop. Is that a highway?
Yes, she's right over now. That's right. That's a work work. We're good for you. This is great
Really well done. This is probably the best room. I've seen a court of thorn and roses a fantasy sex book with nymphs. I think
I think it's like a guy hot fairy. So I've heard.
This is beautifully done.
And I will not penalize for space for square footage.
For how tiny it is.
Thank you, Jake.
That's nice of you.
This is great.
This is really good.
This is up there.
You want to try the rest of the books behind that one?
That's the whole series of A Court of Thorn and Rose.
She has deodorant.
Is that an issue, Jake? She's deodorant is that an issue Jay I used the other
Wait
Okay, great all right really good room so where does I
Mean that's that's a solid nine three on the room three all right solid nine three in the room
I gave the Aussie a nine five total because of the voice yeah that bumped her up a bunch so now we gotta see the
Voice here yeah, this could bring her down
Brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces now
I ask you would you give a fuck what kind of pants the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing
I had a little bit of a twang
Run that back one more time
Your brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces now
I ask you would you give a fuck what kind of pants the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing?
That sounds like southern right?
No, I think Chicago. I got New York
I think she put on a New York. What was that?
What was that?
Degrassi?
Oh good movie. I would not have guessed that, but a great movie. So maybe she put on a little accent.
Okay. That is New York, though.
Oh, so that's a New York movie set in Alabama, so she might have been doing a little bit
of both.
So my cousin Vinny.
Great movie.
Good movie.
So how do you feel about that one?
That was a solid, solid entry.
That's an interesting favorite movie. I'm going to put that on par with The one? That was a solid, solid entry.
I'm going to put that on par with the Australian.
That's a 9-5.
We have two solid, solid number ones right now.
And then a number two.
T1.
Tied for first.
Sorry, what was the score on that?
9-5.
T1.
Some good entries.
I'm very impressed.
All right, candidate seven.
Something I don't love about Malicek.
There were no complaints until I saw the Bo-Nix tweets.
What were your bo-nicks?
You like that.
Yeah, you like that.
I loved that.
That tickled you.
I've been going on a campaign for Bo-Nix,
even though he is fucking terrible.
Okay.
It's my favorite bit I'm doing right now.
How many bits are you doing right now?
Couple.
That's a good bit.
Thanks, man.
Oh.
Moody.
Interesting.
This is like from 1964.
What do we got?
All right, got our camera over there.
None of these things seem to go together.
Why didn't we turn the light on?
No TV in the room.
Yep.
I don't have a TV in my bedroom.
Are those all records?
Yep.
Cool.
Very cool.
A lot of these things seem to be not together.
It seems like there are a lot of random things put
in the room.
It's dark in there.
Also, the drapes and the shutters is weird.
Is it?
Well, you don't need both of those things.
Yeah.
This girl's a little much.
What did you say?
Don't you have one or the other?
No.
Do the shutters match the drinks?
I think you can do both you do both
Thoughts on the bed. It's a good bed. It's all right
Establishing a mood this doesn't blow me away
This doesn't make me not like her, but this doesn't blow me away to nightstand the fuck is that that's oh?
Figurine what is a figurine? It's a little too extreme for you
Figurine what is a figurine it's a little too extreme for you
Felt over friends by the bed. I think this is a room you get in and it's way better more comfortable than you think You think in person? This is a better room. I kind of think so. I think this picture kind of sucks. I
Yeah, you got to turn the light on yeah, right dark yeah, I
Whatever for oh
Four to ten room and also like those two lights beside the bed
I like the makeup area I think it's a lot better room you're going to credit
for
also put a rug down probably no is it what's on the far
east on that that bus
it's more cell more cell
that thing oh oh that's a that's a bowl rush the bowl Morsell. Morsell. That thing.
Oh!
That's a bowl. That's a brush. That's a bowl.
Cannabis bowl? Might be a cannabis bowl.
Good eye. Good eye, B.
Thanks.
Yeah, four.
As the room is, it's a four.
Can she save it with a voice? She could.
How can you not be romantic
about baseball?
More time how can you not be romantic about baseball?
Movie choice yeah, what movie is it I?
Know what movie it is okay, okay?
That's correct. Why don't you tell us? Yeah, you do.
Yeah.
Honesty, trivia would be so funny.
Do you know the answer?
No.
Yes.
That's right.
I think it's Boulder.
It's Moneyball.
One of those fucking baseball movies.
I could be wrong too, but.
I think it's Feel the Dreams.
It's Moneyball.
I think it's Boulder.
It's Moneyball.
Okay.
It's Moneyball.
Sure. I'm almost certain it's Boulder it's my ball okay it's a money ball sure I
I'm almost certain it's also Boulder I don't know that's a four and a half
didn't like that one didn't love it okay did you want more effort in the movie
quote lowest score so far yeah I mean all around that doesn't seem like me are
you comfortable that was your worst one so far yeah dark rugless room short quote
shutters and drape yeah Yeah, not great. Yeah.
Way to put that all together for me. Yeah, not my favorite. Four out of ten. Four and
a half, sorry. Are you a piece of shit? Yeah. Moving on. All right, candidate eight doesn't
use soap. Yeah. That's what they don't like about Jake.
What did she say?
You don't use soap.
Wow.
Wow.
A patio?
It's a deck.
Nice.
A little deck.
That's nice.
A nice little apartment on the third floor of a building, maybe second.
Does she live in your building, Jake?
No, that's not me.
Does she love this color?
Like the drapes and the bedspread and the paints,
they all seem to be the same color.
Yeah, a lot of monochromatic things going on here.
Let's go on the decorative pillows, please.
Sure.
All right, so kind of a rainbow.
But it's not really a rainbow, because it's just reds.
Yeah, starfish?
Interesting.
How is she taking the picture if her phone's in the bed?
Oh, whoa.
Oh, that might not be her phone, Jake.
Hold on. Could it be a camera?
Yeah.
Oh, ho, ho!
Fuck you, Mark!
He's crazy.
All right.
I hate you so much.
Is two phones a red flag?
I mean, I just don't.
Is that the Eiffel Tower?
That picture?
I can't tell.
So what's that saying?
Yeah, what does that convey?
The bed looks comfy as hell.
It does look comfy as hell.
The bed looks amazing, but what do you think about like the flower and rainbow and the pink blanket?
Not my favorite, but yeah, that's a bed you get in and it's hard to get up out of it. What's on what's under the under the mirror?
That's probably another blanket just a rug to hold the mirror in place, okay
What do you think about looking around? Stop, you know fuck fuck man. She took the picture at 3 34 p.m
And Jay asked for the pictures at like 6 30 p.m. So this is not
Really she already had the picture
Good call, huh?
No, or she was watching the yeah, we said it on the yeah, yeah
That speaks to like she could be living in the sky. Yeah, she's very prompt
She could have this saved whenever my room is super clean
I used to take a picture of it just to be like I was in case you were on
You just had some crazy fucking sex on that bed
okay and now you're out on that deck just necking from the ass down yeah
chilling out smoking a cig. Oh man. What do you think about that? Sounds good.
You're having some crazy fucking sex and she walks in she's like who's this guy?
Balcony you like the back pink blanket is a negative. Yeah, that's
That room that room overall is a solid six eight all right six eight room, okay, let's see what the voice
You cheated on me when I specifically asked you not to Michael Scott
Yeah, that's fun, I think she was actually laughing a little nervous I like that seven out at seven and a half out of ten Wow What's her in I believe fourth place at the moment?
I'll be damn. I'll be goddamn. I don't know you at all Jake. Huh. I would have thought you would have hated
I like that that was bubbly and fun. You don't like bubbly. I like a lot of stuff
No, you don't
Like that seven and a half. Okay. Wow good solid you hated her pink blanket, but that can be thrown away, okay
All right, Jay
Alright candidate nine the only thing I recently found out was the lack of soap usage in the shower
Have you ever tried the dove brand green soap bar that one is the best? She's trying to fix you Jake
Oh already swooping in immediately trying to disrupt is the best. She's trying to fix you, Jake. Ooh. I like that.
Already swooping in.
Immediately trying to fix me.
Disrupting your life.
That's not great.
No.
You hate it, don't you?
Bring on the room.
Oh.
What the fuck?
What?
It's a studio, it's a room?
What the?
What the?
Oh.
I've never seen anything like this.
What the fuck I've never seen anything like this. What the fuck?
Fuck!
Wait.
In what universe?
Show that again.
Oh!
What?
Are you fucking kidding me with this?
Wait, zoom in on a perfectly made pad.
No, dude.
Bro. No, dude. Bro!
No, don't even-
No, don't even-
No, don't even-
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
I know you're fucking kidding me with that!
I know you're fucking kidding me with that!
These girls are playing on expert mode!
These girls are playing on expert mode these poor women gonna make
them all so insecure I know that was really nice just going out of their way It's just just trying to Matt response to get that response
Holy fuck I think the chair facing nothing
The two-seater freaked me out
Oh my god, what the fuck is it a cow chair? It doesn't know what it was
She's a Bengals fan looks like all I think was fan goals angle a boyfriend no no I'm just to go to girls bangles boy that ain't no two girls to do that yeah guy on the left is straight guy on the right is gay yeah yeah you're right it's a
right friend I think I go with her and Jason old Dean Memphis Chicago and what
was the third one right so no it wasn since yeah, I think it is Cincinnati's
All right, I can't quite now we'll get that yes Cincinnati, okay, um
What about those three cities
What's that thing? Yeah, what's past the bed under that picture over there? No to the right to the right bangles blanket
What's that thing a coffee?
Cute Didn't she didn't really decorate the entryway very much
Respect okay, it's the same color pink. We saw last time. It's another dog like a lot of dogs
More dogs today than they revealed yesterday, huh?
This is besides the couch is throwing me off. This is a studio apartment, obviously. Yeah
Dog in a studio apartment is kind of wild
Did you have when you live in your did you have the dog? No, no, I didn't okay god no
That's animal abuse. All right. Well, you don't know where no I'm saying in my apartment that would have been like
Animal like it was a hundred and eighty square feet
Where's that dog going?
All right, what about this room? Uh
Don't I mean maybe she works from home. She can take it for walks all the time
Working from home studio apartment also crazy
We're not judging
Anyway, I'm gonna give that a five. That's a five another five. That's better than a five room. That's crazy
No, no that that's couch will throw a man off
Five minutes and I'm gonna say to say that. That's her name, Two Cedar.
Alright, voice please.
I'm having so much fun.
This isn't the real Caesar's Palace, is it?
Hangover, good movie.
Comedy movie.
One more time, Porfavor.
This isn't the real Caesar's Palace, is it?
You're getting a little too comfortable now.
It just occurred.
I wish we had a picture of your room.
Yeah, right.
I feel like I need to be able to compare.
It's very bland.
We're going to need your room tomorrow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll bring it.
I'll bring it.
Yeah, and you have to do everything they're doing as well.
Sure, yeah.
I'll do it.
Solid.
I'm going to give that a 6 out of 10 overall. What made you bump it up? I like the hangover pick
It's a good movie. All right
All right number ten or nine or eight fuck I don't know we're at ten sure this is candidate ten three more
Yep, something. I don't like about Jake is I guess that the gauntlet has made him a really cocky goalie. Uh-huh
Yeah, well he was a really cocky goalie. Uh-huh. Ooh. Yeah.
Well, he was already a cocky goalie.
Sure was.
All right.
See that room.
Oh, that's a cat, Jake.
Roommate's cat.
Roommate's cat.
Well, you still live there.
All of this is bad.
Is that a what?
What do you mean all of this is bad?
This looks like you're a.
You don't like the colors. I don't like the colors. Might be a dorm room. This looks like you're that a what do you mean all of us bad? This looks like you're you don't like the colors. It's like the colors might be a dorm room
This looks like you're in a college dorm with a
What's what's that in the middle of the tapestry?
She has it was all the train. What is it? Yeah, but a neon on
She used to read Wordpress magazine
Salt and pepper and heavy D up in the lips. This is the worst one so far.
In my opinion, personally.
Colors don't make any sense.
Cat. Love that cat.
Colors are fine.
No, this is, what is it?
You had a coastal moat.
It's Joe Burroughs face.
Joe Burroughs face, yeah.
He's handsome.
Ryan guy, so Cincinnati girl, another Cincinnati girl.
Why are you so big in Cincinnati, you think?
I don't know.
Ryan guy's bottle there, repurposedurpose is that a vape by the bed a
light bulb coming out of a bottle it is yeah fascinating clever clever use of
bottle see the book Kurt Vonnegut the road car core Mac that's a married The road? Kormak. You got Kormak! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, who are those two?
That's a married couple.
That's a volleyball photo.
Volleyball photos.
Wow.
Volleyball photo.
Yeah, volleyball players.
It's true, a volleyball girl.
Good legs.
Call of sale.
Yeah, you still don't like the room?
I hate the room.
I'll be honest, I hate the room.
Slippers by the bed?
No offense to this lovely lady, I don't like the room.
Okay.
Are those weapons?
Are those missiles no
those are audio waves those torpedoes yeah not my favorite room okay maybe the
voice will save her this is the worst room yeah wow this is a solid two at it
two and a half yeah it's like a pale watermelon I don't know yeah yeah like a
sun-stained watermelon all right let's hear the voice I ate a bowl of nails now. Yeah, yeah, like a sun stained watermelon.
All right, let's hear the voice.
I ate a bowl of nails for breakfast without any milk.
That's from Spongebob. I don't know. Sorry.
Oh, I like this fun. Do you hate her?
She had a little bit of a raspy voice.
You hate her?
Super weenie hut reference.
Jake, you can say I don't I didn't love it. I didn't love it. Give that a three. Okay. She was doing a, she was doing
a character voice though. Yup. Yup. That was a choice she
made. That is true. Yeah. Alright, so final score on that
one, three out of ten. Did we do game time yet? Nah. We love
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is it? Game time. Alright, two more. Two more, two more, two more. That would be cool to skip. Sorry, what was the score
for ten? Ten was a three. It was the worst one, yeah. I liked her. Are we still having
fun with this? Yeah. Yes. Good. The next week is going to be incredible. So this is eleven.
Eleven. Canada Eleven, I'm probably more concerned at this point that he's allergic to peanuts.
Does that mean no Chick-fil-a?
It does mean no chick-fil-a
Wow, I think she might be hitting on me though
We're being honest Thank you threw that in to hit on me on you like if she's got some SEC football stuff in the room
I think I might need to stay flight in there
All right Alright
What a room cheating a little bit that's not our bedroom no room, but still fantastic
This oh chick-fil-a
Look at this dog dear horn. What's that? What's that? That looks like?
That's that neon of the girl girl with the pearl ear. Yeah, this is amazing with a little antlers that of you is this is fantastic
That's photo was taken prior does anybody know what city that is
It's probably Chicago's gotta be is it I don't know I might be here very nice Danny
Is that Chicago yeah that picture is a little bit too big for that is there a mountain range?? What is that a pictures a little bit framed photo of that a Pollock? We can't
Zoom into that skeleton. Oh, is it a skeleton? There's skeleton in there. It's dead company concert, baby
Huh, this is great. Let's get a whole night nice farm farmhouse
There's two sets of antlers this is great arm hours there
and antlers up there wow oh yeah nice looking dog like the dog dogs looking at
the camera to yeah dog yeah obedient what would have a frappuccino chewed
let's go the TV wall there all right yeah we got to see the rug wait. There's the TV subscribed
TV's just hanging on to to do my force subscribe to the not subscribe to the yak
Well, that's good. That's good. That's fine. Yeah, Jake likes it probably better. Yeah, wait. That's a crazy No, but that's a yeah, I like that. Oh, it's just too
That's cool as fuck actually yeah, that's awesome Wow wait, what's that backdrop of it?
That's just a is that a long row two little benches that she flipped. Yeah, that's cool as fuck actually. That's awesome. Wow wait. What's that backdrop of it? That's just a is that a long?
Oh, it's like two little benches that she flipped. Yeah, that's cool. It's a long rug vertical. Oh is this the interior display?
What's that in the back?
Black thing in the back corner. What's that?
ukulele is that like a
Stringed instrument. I don't know I can't really tell this is a so cool is the TV stand trendy or just poor
I think it's all rug is amazing that rug is amazing fantastic
Just to my be a that might be a $5,000 rug. That's that's a great rug
Yeah, what are those shoes on the couch to under the coffee table zoom in on those oh?
What is that are those filthy shoes?
Oh, okay?
This is great. This is the best room. We've gotten although. I know it's not a bedroom, but yeah wait no bedroom
You gotta think her bedrooms tasteful as well. I don't know yeah, what's the deal? Yeah?
Do you think she's showing off is this the Google girl showing off her wealth and also you might be another studio her bed?
Does she live with a dude there are multiple signs a dude could have been here
Maybe she just sleeps in the car. What are the dude signs antlers? I think the antlers
Yeah, maybe she couldn't take a picture of her bedroom because there's a dude in her bed. Yeah jerking off
Cranking stick in the back is that a fart?
Clarity on the room I attached a picture of my living room. Hope that's okay
Okay, I actually moved back to Chicago this month
So I'm sleeping in my guest room while I wait for my bed to get delivered. Oh
All right, that's okay guest room
Got money this goes a rich as hell. All right solid room. Very solid. I want her to have me over for wine and charcuterie
That's like a good light some candles. You're treating this as a show for you. I'd like to have me over for wine and charcuterie. That's like a good light some candles
You're treating this as a show for you. I'd like to make some yeah, it's trying to make friends. Yeah
All right. Let's see the voice
right
Okay, so y'all asked my favorite movie quote and I have to go sweet home Alabama as my favorite movie
Maybe to on brand. I don't know but
Then I went favorite quote,
which is really just favorite scene from that movie.
And it is when Reese Witherspoon is in the bar
and one of her friends from home walks up
and she goes, she goes, oh, you have a baby in the bar.
And the friend goes, hell, I got three more at home.
And she goes, but this one's still on the tit
so I can take them anywhere
And I probably butchered that but you get the trick. Oh my god
Would like to reshuffle some numbers, yeah
Reshuffle some number we have a reshuffling full. I'm going to say tied at the top
At nine and a half a piece are the Aussie and the southern bell okay those are solid so that knocks down I'm
gonna knock down the my cousin Vinnie room number six girl to a nine three and
then keep the quick picks girl at nine ten we have to tie it nine out of ten
sorry nine out of ten so we have to tie at the top at 9-5. Then we have my cousin Vinny at 8-9-3 and then the Quick Pick.
That's a clear top four.
Top four at the moment. And if I had to give the nod to one of them, I would probably give it to the Southern Bell.
Recency bias.
I kind of agree with you. I would like to hear the Aussie again at some point. But that was fantastic. What a performance.
Yeah, that was good.
What a performance. Brandon, we might need you to stand up for a second well
we we do need to make sure that she's trying to to land you and not me you
could have her if you would like no I just want to know what I wanted you've
been looking to cheat on your wife I have she threw the chick-fil-a cup in
their own accident yeah I will happily go to play and just get a milkshake you
know I'm a compromise guy you know that about me mark right yeah you know what I will happily go to play and just get a milkshake. You know I'm a compromise guy
You know that about me mark right? Yeah, you know I love compromise. Yeah
What what it what a submission Wow all right? We got one more?
You know and hit the final ad and then I'll do 12
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All right. All right. Last one, Jake. Wow. What some winners in here today. This whole
thing is a great competition. All right, what we got, Jay?
All right, Kenneth12, this one is a little bit long.
TBH, I don't really know him yet.
So I had ChatGPT help me by roasting his IG profile.
This profile is trying too hard to look
like it's ready for the next big sports story,
but instead it's giving off serious high schooler
with Canva subscription
The bio is straight to the point but the social graphics video feels like it's one missing comma away from meltdown
Do you really work at Barstool? That's then where's the hot takes and controversial opinions Wow?
This wasn't chat she because she wrote that herself. That was from the heart. Look at chat. She's right.
Yeah, she's right.
Canva head ass.
Is chat GBT really that good?
Yeah, I guess you just put the screenshots in there,
probably, I don't know.
A lot of this shit is old.
It's scary.
I'm getting into the TikTok game lately though.
Yeah, you're doing really, really well.
Go check that out, that'd be pretty cool.
Yeah, good.
This isn't about that.
Yeah, let's go for the room. note about the room is that the outs the view is somewhat covered up to protect privacy
Interesting oh she put an emoji over the view okay nice. I don't hate that last wall. I love this is cool
This is definitely one of the well and there it is
This is downtown Chicago
Lot of sunglasses love this room. I love this right right sunny
Let's meet a good is that two girls kissing where?
Like little two flat flaps. Yeah, I mean that emojis do it almost nothing. Well, it's probably something like a like
a sign or an iconic place or landmark. All right, Jake, a lot of trinkets in this one.
This is this is good. This is solid. You're're a chachki guy? She also benefited from a nice day outside. The mounting of the TV.
That TV is on the ceiling. Fantastic though. I respect the mounting of the TV.
That's one of my favorite subreddits. No, that is on the ceiling.
That TV is mounted on the moon. That sucks. It might be the angle.
She's also close in the way that bit. I think she's got a good angle there.
I kind of agree with you, Brandon. That's a fine... Thank you, Jake.
Bird. Cockatoo. Cockatoo. I kind of agree with you Brandon. That's a fine Bird
Cockatiel go up to the top of that on the ceiling there. So that is a rug. No, that's those are lights
Okay, I didn't know if that was that wallpaper. I didn't know if that was a ruffle or not
That was like a tapestry. It's lights though. Okay, okay
I like this all the sunglasses concrete ceiling is that this is gonna be one of those downtown buildings
Yeah, where there are just a hundred percent concrete
Yeah
Just give her latitude and long
Solid I mean solid this is a solid room. This is like a seven seven five for me all right say that voice
When my eyes are closed I see you for what you truly are,
which is ugly.
I think she was quoting a movie there.
Huh.
I like that.
That sounded like Che's Chris Tucker a little bit.
What is that a quote from?
When I close my eyes, I see you for what you are, which is ugly.
I have no idea what that's from. Mean Girls.
Is it?
Yeah.
Is it?
No, I have no idea.
Just took two questions to get right to that.
Ask him is it twice and he can't stand.
Amanda Bynes.
She's the man.
Oh, good movie.
Interesting.
That's fun.
What did you think about her?
presentation there
I mean, that's another one of those like in the fine range. I think fine right that piper is six and a half
Okay for overall all right. That was the last one
Yep, we got all 12. Wow good job
Fun that was really fun lady in there. I like those blind so tomorrow. I think Jake All 12 people responded. Good job, everybody. This is great. It's really coming along. That was fun.
That was really fun looking into there.
I like that it was blind.
So tomorrow.
I think Jake should rank them right now.
Mm-hmm.
And then we find out, we don't need to go through all of the names, but let's find out the
top three names.
All right.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Do you want to do the top three names or like the bottom four and cut them? I
Don't know if we should cut right now. Okay. All right. Well you want to carry over with 12 the two-day event today and tomorrow Yeah, we want five to be able to come in next week, right? Yeah
We're gonna get down to five by like Thursday or Friday. Yeah, so right now nobody knows the names
Except for me do we want to reveals or do we want to have like some type of dry?
Put in your final ranking. Let's find out the names. Yeah
Other stuff all right, so tied at first place so either one or two
It doesn't really matter would be the room number two mm-hmm and room number
11 yeah t1 a
1 8 yeah a 1 a 2
Where did the a come in 1a a 1 b that's what I'm
wanting to that's first second room 6 solid third place at a 9.3 then
followed by room 5 at a 9 yeah then I had room number four I stopped there that's the top five you want to learn top five nice top five names
Okay, nice and bring up maybe their first presentation. They're just their application. Yeah. Yeah. All right
So Che though those top five that we've put over the top. Yeah, give me a minute. So we're with you Jan. Let's be okay
So we're gonna get, yes, Kate?
I just really like, I think I just like,
You like them all.
I like seeing people's rooms a lot.
I think you should also be a part of this.
You go hang out with them.
I would love that.
I would love that.
So next week, so we can do a show,
I think instead of like a parent visit,
it's Kate.
Yeah, you get to know them.
Oh, Kate is gonna be there.
That's the parent.
Maybe do a video where you,
Yeah.
I would love that.
Like you interview them hang out
Yeah, they get to pick to pick out something in Chicago to do and they go with you. Oh my god
I would I would love it. Oh hit me up. I would love to do that
We're prepared I heard I see different dating shows each time. This is like room raiders
Yeah, we come on all into one it is fun to look at people's room
That was a bit about that really
It's so personal like you learn a lot of them also the blind voice was really fun. Yeah, I really
Like looking at rooms. I would like to see some dude How much how much is everybody panicking if I'm like I have a picture of your room
And I'm gonna send it to TJ put on the screen right now
I'd rather you take a picture diary my room is my the least not that I have interesting part of my house mine is bleak I don't think I would I wouldn't
care there's not really nothing hiding there so we have the graphics pulled up
an idea should we just not say who is with who but just show the graphics and
so he knows who these candidates are but not necessarily match room and voice
I got zero that I don't know you say don't really the five people that I have picked as the top five
He's going to just say these are the top five but not connect the dots to who is no, it's gonna
I think you should be I think we I also had a top three from yesterday
So I'm curious if those are gonna be yeah, if there's over a top three from yesterday. Yeah, you don't need that
No, I'm just just just before the thing
Yeah, I'd like to hear that my top three from yesterday was Abby J Taylor H and Sarah P. Okay, or my top three. All right
All right, so who is
All right, let's start. Let's start with fifth place. Yeah, good.
Based on room, voice, and dislike.
And that is going to be...
Erika Kay.
Erika Kay.
I liked her.
Don't trust her.
That's right, yes.
Erika Kay.
So room number...
This was which room?
Room number...
Five.
Four.
Five.
This is room contestantant. Oh, yeah
All right nice now can we see her room do you guys want to summarize that for the podcast people
So Erica Kay yesterday was very wordy very very I can't summarize it if I can't see it
She said Jay called her a liar. He's like oh, you'd say you don't smoke, but yeah Oh, that's right. Oh, he's a liar. She said fuck your career. Mm-hmm
Bloody Mary that I think she's the one I saved right this is the one I was like
This is also the bedroom with nothing on the walls the big bed
Nothing on the wall. That one. Yeah, I'm sorry about getting confused. Yes solid. Yeah, it's crazy
I'm looking at the room matches who she is to me it makes sense oh I guess you have pictures yeah yeah yeah
yeah oh yeah yeah yeah was she leather no okay all right cool okay nice Okay, nice. Who's number four?
Fourth is gonna be room or contestant five
Taylor H. Nice. She was in the top three
Yeah, love that for her top four. No yesterday's top three. So that is the oh we love that Oh, we love We love that. Taylor H, Taylor H front runner for real.
Interior designer and Red Wings fan experience.
Yup. We were fans of Taylor H yesterday.
This is only helping her case.
Good stuff from Taylor H.
Yeah. Alright.
Cool. Good stuff.
Third place with the room voice
complaint is Sarah P.
Wow! Look at this!
And what room was that Jay? Sorry?
Oh yeah.
Room number what?
Six.
Six. She was the My Cousin Vinny girl.
Oh!
Very nice, very nice.
I like this room a lot.
Good room, yeah.
So then the last two are the Ozzy and the Southern Belle.
I'm curious if either of them are.
Now we gotta find out who they are.
Abby J. I have a feeling the Southern Belle
is gonna be Abby with an A.
Okay. That's my guess.
All right. Well, don't get ahead of yourself.
That is my guess.
We just don't want you to get hurt.
That's all we want. Tied for first place.
Nine-five based on room voice
complaint
Abbey J
That was that which one is that dally though Billy dally
Imagine imagine her say gilly dally an Australian accent yeah
Hater to back in on Abby J her vice vice is hating. Yeah, okay, Mary Wow
J strong very strong you didn't like her up
Profile at first I didn't what if she's ugly though Jake
Lyrics from a band that I like
Will read them
Lay where you're laying don't make a sound I know they're watching
They're watching all the commotion the kitty like play has people talking
talking you
Your sex is on fire
She turned you into five syllables.
Yeah, that's cool.
Alright, cool. Good for Abby J.
Gotta find out who this southern belle is.
Me too, I'm very fascinated.
Abby J's a good one.
Ah!
Tied for first place.
Very interesting.
It was the person that we do not have a slide for.
The mystery guest, Mason. Oh! for first place very interesting it was the person that we do not have a slide
for the mystery guest Mason oh fuck yeah that's me Mason's got the southern Dixon
Hell yeah, Dixon Mason Mason what I haven't seen Mason
We've seen her original slice in e
Late as she thought it was a guy or about to see it. No, she was
This was a dog. No no Brandon is
barking Brandon pushing Malice
Only been married 19 years. I got throw it away Mason eat nice
Good late admission does she have a slide that we can look at no
Like can we get her vices and her um did not uh oh actually shit
Yeah, you didn't send it though right? Yeah, she must have seen what I believe she did it was discarded
But yeah, let me see like what's her information
Mason I fuck with the accents it's fun
Would like the best sounding
English speaking girl even beat out anyone with an accent
Yeah, I don't know what it is about the accents though. There was a girl. There was a girl a couple years ago
I was watching a football game on TV, and she was in the big 12 vaccine commercial
once she had an English accent and I
fell in love with her
and I fell in love with her. Okay.
All right.
And we still chat to this day.
Nice girl.
I've got this stuff for Mason E.
Big T hated her.
I've got this.
Describe your ideal Saturday.
I'm from the South.
I went to an SEC school.
So right now it's football Saturdays with friends.
What time do you normally...
Brandon, calm down.
Easy, easy.
Licking his chops over there.
What time do you normally go to bed at night? Weeknights
to 11 p.m. to midnight. Do you want kids? Yes. Oh big. What is your profession slash industry?
Pharmaceutical sales. Oh honey. Cool. What are your vices?
Espresso martinis.
Oh, the horror.
Uppers and downers?
Basin sounds cool.
Have you ever hooked up with Nicky Smoke?
This would be devastating.
No.
Wait, what's this?
No.
Oh!
That would have been unreal.
There's more. No, but I want to. Oh, that would have been unreal. Oh, man. There's more.
No, but I want to.
Oh, that's worse.
Oh.
If you had to guess right now what school she went to,
what would you say?
Texas.
Based off of that whole Texas.
She's from Austin.
Alabama.
Yeah?
That gave off Alabama accent to you?
Yeah.
Would she be doing well in pharmaceutical sales, though?
Yeah, depending. She could have gone to Vanderbilt. You have school? Yeah. Auburn. No, she went to Auburn. Alabama accent to you yeah, would she be doing well in pharmaceutical sales though yeah depending
She could have gone to Vanderbilt your school. Yeah, Auburn. No she went to Auburn. Yes. She's Auburn
News yeah, I'm cool
Huh, what just happened that was in the information oh war damn printed it
It's all publicly available
I was just saying, Brandon was like, oh yeah, she was on the thing. It's all publicly available.
Well, I thought that was on the thing.
It is.
I only had to go to the seventh page of Google results.
Yeah, I mean, I saw it too, and I forgot.
But for some reason, Brandon, that was on the forefront
of your mind.
She had that Albert hoodie on yesterday
when she was walking home from work.
I'm fascinated.
The women I found interesting yesterday,
I also found the rooms and all that
The same that's that's very cool
What if they're all good Jake does it does it ruin the whole thing?
That would be a big know what they look like and what if like they just wanted you know, they're that the edge
Then that's that's the risk you take doing a show like this. Yeah, isn't it? So tomorrow fridge
Drawing of yourself. Yeah, and a joke and tell a joke and what am I bringing all of those things?
Uh you also want me to do the other like yeah
We need your room cuz they need to be the room baby. No yeah, you have to win them
Oh, yeah, they could drop out and I'll bring the room. I could see your room and be like oh fuck that
I'm bring that I will I don't do three things to bring the room
Like like that Do three things to bring the room Like that I'll bring the room should I bring a joke
Yes, I know you man, I don't know I don't know if that's really in your bag
Cool so sorry are we doing this for just these five or we doing all 12?
Okay
Do you want to do you want to eliminate anything like we have a solid final five? No? No? No? We're not getting to five yet
Oh, we've okay stretches. Tell me yeah, what if we gotta get all the way next week? What the fridges is alright?
Let's get rid of three what if Abby J's entire fridge is just Mayo
Okay, so wait we have how many left? Twelve?
We have twelve. Let's run another day with twelve.
Alright. And then we'll, tomorrow we'll cut.
And then we'll start, yeah.
We'll go to eight tomorrow. Let's axe one.
I love this five though, I will say. This is a great starting five.
Should we maybe say also a fun fact
about themselves, or is that too much?
How about we get their ages?
No, no, no. That's a really
fake about eight. We haven't thought about that yet. How about we get their ages? No, no, no, that's a really
We haven't thought about that yeah, I think everyone's within
24 23 to 30 okay, would y'all rather do fun fact than joke
Probably I probably would yeah, maybe fun fact can be brief. Oh, maybe like a fun essay short essay fun essay
Hmm fun fact was always so brutal when he had to do it in your yeah
You don't want to put them through that truth, so I
mmm Really weirdest thing about you like our like weird wait. I love two truths in a lie, and we don't know what the lie
Yeah, just don't tell us yeah. Yes. That's a good one
Fridge self-portrait, okay, oh, but they should tell us so we can guess and then if we're right or no no
I don't think no we should know I think that you have to like think about like okay
Yeah, okay, this is the the truth. I this is a deal, but I can't handle that lie
Okay, cool, you don't address it until you're officially dating either cool or married or married
Whoa all right, and I'll bring
you guys a picture of my room well draw a really detailed picture your dick for
tomorrow super detail harder soft soft all right what's the temperature you
imagine drawing your soft dick so all you'll need is a post-it note. Oh. Oh. Laugh at that again, Mark.
Ha ha ha ha.
All right, TJ, you want to get the wheel ready?
All right, I'm going to go set up quick picks.
You've got to be fucking kidding me, Alex.
Man, this is fun.
All right, spin it.
All right, guys.
All right, spin it. All right, guys. All right, boys.
All right.
That's a dry.
He's a different man today.
He's all about it now.
He's picking up momentum.
He's excited. He's optimistic.
I think he's got a bunch of good options.
I think so, yeah.
The pictures do align well with his interest.
I'll say that. So now's the time.
Let's just go ahead between now and tomorrow
and sneak in a dude.
Yeah.
Something.
Sneak in one of us.
Yeah, we'll make the prompts and everything.
OK, we're going to sneak you in.
Give me one deep boy.
Yeah.
Let's do this.
All right.
We'll be back tomorrow.
Thanks.
See you.
Yeah. Let's do this.
All right.
We'll be back tomorrow.
Thanks, SCIAC. It's the act It's the act
Yeah it's time to talk shop or do a Yankee swap
It's the act
It's the act
Major shout out Dick Bong. Happy birthday man.
Alright see you tomorrow.
Love ya.