The Yak - Happy Brandon Walker Appreciation Day | The Yak 4-12-24
Episode Date: April 12, 2024Watch your pantsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up.
Hello.
Welcome to the act.
Roback.com.
Promo code YAK.
20% off your first purchase.
Q's, Zips, Polos, Hoodies, Joggers, Shorts.
I'm wearing the Joggers right now hello everyone it's brandon walker
appreciation day yes i saw you threw yourself a birthday party today i threw myself a surprise
birthday party you said you didn't want us to do brandon walker appreciation day i had been
planning the surprise party for a while oh so that's why you didn't want us to do it i don't i
i just that was i was gonna do a surprise birthday party, and I did.
We can't step on mostly's toes.
Yeah.
And Nick got me a gift.
I got you, wait, he gave it to you already?
I told him, do you want to wait for the yak?
I got excited.
Well, now I got a gift, and it's not even.
Well, that's okay.
I got a gift, too.
That's fine, but he got.
I got a gift, as well.
Nick, re-give the gift.
I re-give the gift?
Go get the gift.
Go get the gift.
Re-give the gift.
It's a pretty good gift.
I want to see it. I want to re-give the gift. Go get the gift. Go get the gift. Re-give the gift. It's a pretty good gift. I want to see it.
I want to re-give the gift.
Whatever you think it is, it's not that.
It's not that at all.
You haven't seen what it is?
I wish you had waited.
I didn't.
He did it.
No, it sounds like you did it.
I did not do that.
I threw myself a party.
I gave myself both my cakes.
And then I had some nuggets and some tea
and I was good. And so you're feeling like you're
I'll have to pee very soon. Yeah.
I peed
six minutes ago.
So let's start the clock.
Did Dr. Ned Miller ever call you back?
He did. He did. And?
He said, you want me to determine if you have
diabetes on the phone?
And you said, yes, doctor.
That's exactly what I wanted to do.
I said, can you not do that?
Those uncomfortable benches.
Oh.
Yeah.
Great gift.
Oh, like a playground bench.
Got me a school bench.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Yeah.
Perfect.
That has no zero functionality.
No, you can sit on it.
But it's going to be painful.
I want you to put it in your living room.
Instead of my couch.
Yes.
You want me to watch a movie?
You want me to watch Forrest Gump?
I want you to watch Forrest Gump with Tommy.
And I want you to send us a picture of your ass when it's done.
Oh, you got more nuggets.
Oh, those are just my nuggets.
Those are just more pieces.
That's my tray of nuggets.
I actually didn't.
I'll have a nugget.
Are they cold?
Now other people are eating my nuggets.
I'll have a nugget.
Get my nuggets the fuck out of here.
That was a mistake. Connor, I don't. Let me take a nugget. Get my nuggets the fuck out of here, dude. That was a mistake.
Connor, get the fucking nuggets out of the fuck.
Connor?
I'll take one for later.
Connor?
I'm just going to pocket that nugget.
Who told you to bring my goddamn nuggets into this goddamn studio?
The best way to appreciate Brandon Walker is to eat his nugget.
That's right.
What are you doing?
Saving your life by eating nuggets.
Connor, what are you doing?
Brandon, why isn't your bench built yet?
You know what?
I'll take one more.
Connor, you could have been building a bench this whole time.
Oh, wait.
Yay!
Wait, I'll take one more too.
That's not really...
Hold on.
Actually, I don't want it.
Yeah, let me pocket one of those.
Kyle, you want some nuggets?
We're on the air, guys.
This is gross. Yeah, no, I know. you want some of my nuggets? We're on the air, guys. This is gross.
Yeah, I know, I know.
You want some of Brandon's nuggets?
Just take one.
Brandon, I got you the bench an hour ago, and it's not built yet.
I don't know what Connor Griffin's doing.
He's passing out my nuggets instead of building my fucking bench.
Why don't you build your bench?
I don't want to build my bench.
Brandon Walker Appreciation Day, I always appreciate that Brandon is handy. You're a handy you're a man i'm not handy my wife builds my benches at home she
does sometimes so does mine she built my weight bench the other day i got a weight bench oh that's
a real cuck move yeah your wife built your weight but i totally acted like a bitch i like i bought
it and then as i was leaving in the morning i said oh shit i forgot i bought this oh nice is
there any way you can put this together?
Or I guess I can just wait until I get home.
And then she did it while I was gone.
Did she do well?
No.
But, you know, it is what it is.
I'll have her fix it later.
Yeah.
The biggest cuck move I had was when my son was born,
my first, I had someone come and build his crib.
That's not a cuck move.
Cribs are impossible to build.
No, it's a cuck move.
I can provide for my family.
I'm a big, strong man.
I'm going to sit on the couch while this guy I just hired off TaskRabbit builds my crib. That guy could claim fatherhood of the child.
Yeah, exactly.
I felt like a small wee man.
Cribs are a motherfucker, Big Cat.
You made the right decision.
You build it from scratch or put some shit together?
Yeah, I purchased a tree.
Yeah, so that's a crib. I want that to be a crib that would be redwood make it a crib how's everyone
doing good yesterday was great that was a lot of fun it was one of my favorite moments we've ever
had yeah i think it's the hardest i've laughed in a long time he's the gayest of the gang yeah
so gay and he's he's like uh it's not a big deal, but I mean.
He's been tweeting about how straight he is a lot.
Yeah.
He's tweeting through it.
He's White Boy Rick.
Like, he had a certain je ne sais quoi on Twitter.
Yeah.
He might just have to be gay, though.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
He is.
Right.
Yeah.
You can't do that.
Right.
Is he GBR now?
Gay Boy Rick?
Mm-hmm.
Or just Gay Rick?
White Gay. White Boy Gay gay Rick? White boy gay.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He doesn't fully understand what happened.
He'll learn.
He was throwing it back, though.
Great fart.
Great fart.
It did come through.
Not gay.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
Tweeting out not gay.
Mini golf was fun. Congratulations, Ryan Whitney. Oh, is. Yeah. Yeah. Tweeting out knocking. Minigolf was fun.
Congratulations, Ryan Whitney.
Oh, is he doing – oh, is he dunking?
Oh.
Oh, no.
Yeah, he's –
That was a gay dunk.
That was a gay dunk.
Oh, man.
That was a gay run back to get the camera.
Yeah.
The only guy that –
Oh, that was gay.
That's gay.
That was gayer than yesterday.
The only other guy that can dunk at the company is gay.
Yeah.
True. Pat. Yeah. Oh can dunk at the company is gay. Yeah. True.
Pat.
Yeah.
Oh, I thought you meant Titus.
Titus can dunk.
Titus is gay.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Me too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good point.
Good point.
Someone had the LeBron meme.
Yeah, it was so good.
Male cheerleader vibes.
He's got the white shoes.
Yeah.
Like a spirit squad.
Mm-hmm.
Unbelievable. It was a great day. And shoes. Yeah. Like the spirit squad. Mm-hmm.
Unbelievable.
It was a great day.
And yeah, yeah.
Congrats to Ryan Whitney.
Mush had an all-time meltdown.
Yeah.
A warranted hole in the green.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was fine with that.
Yeah, I was fine with that.
It was also the last guy to play it.
I actually thought he hit the video board. I did too.
Because I turned around because I couldn't.
When someone has a choke like that, you're like, I can't even watch.
And then I heard the thud and I was like, you're like I can't even watch and then I
heard the thought and I was like oh my god did he hit the video board I was concerned about the
video board all week yeah but it was a great event it was a great event and uh I just got out of a
meeting with Hank for uh new content ideas and uh pretty soon we will be doing some sort of golf
thing but think smaller oh yeah oh and che we got to talk about che
che had a meltdown himself che had a meltdown himself che also uh i got back i went home
helped out at home came back che started giving me he pulled out he pulled out a sheet of paper
and i looked at it and i was like what is that and he said that he played the first nine
holes yesterday 40 times each and when we got to the back nine i said so where are the notes
the back nine and he said i almost got a callus so i had to stop blister blister blister he was
also the only competitor wearing a glove nothing So nothing happened to him? Nothing happened to him. Almost got a blister.
Yeah, but he's allowed to do that?
He played it 40 times?
Oh, yeah.
The rules guy said we could, after round three, he was like, I don't care.
It's okay.
All right.
40 times, each hole.
And then what was the hashtag you used?
That was a Blotman idea.
Shout out to him.
Changed the game.
With Che? Changed the game With Che
Changed
I mean it's true
I hacked the hardest hole
You hacked the hardest hole?
Yeah you hacked it
I did
You guys made fun of me
And then I threw it right in your face
When did you hack it?
Final round
It was the only time
Because we
You're talking about
You hit it
You can show the clip
We can find the clip
I know
The bridge
Yeah we did that Our group But the thing is Before you You can show the clip. We can find the clip. I know. The bridge.
Yeah.
No, we did that.
Our group.
But the thing is, like, before you.
You can hit it short.
Nobody hit it off the triangle.
But it's a bright metallic blue bridge.
I think that was the intent.
So I hit it off the triangle, which was behind the still blue.
No, you just changed the game.
Definitely not the first person to do that.
That's way harder.
Actually, I am.
People tried to hit it short, and some people did hit it short, but nobody used the triangle that was there.
I don't think you guys are understanding. He
changed the game. Yeah, but if you hit it
closer to the bridge, it's much easier than what you just left
yourself. But that's a much harder shot to have
it stop completely there.
Somebody did. How do you know nobody
used it? I asked.
Asked who? The triangle?
One of our group members did. Successfully? Talked to the triangle? Luke did. I did. Asked who? The triangle? One of our group members did.
Successfully?
Talk to the triangle?
Luke did.
I did.
The day before you.
Successfully?
Yes.
And hit a two.
I don't know if his bridge ball went in.
I think his bridge ball went in.
But you didn't hack the system.
No, he changed the game.
A lot of people got twos on this hole. You didn't hack the system. No, he changed the game.
A lot of people got twos on this hole.
Bang!
That's how you fucking do it!
Come on!
I don't like that. No, it's terrible.
Steven, let's talk about another phenomenon.
Your hair looks so much worse in pictures
than it does in real life.
That's true. It looks so bad in in pictures than it does in real life.
That's true.
It looks so bad in pictures. I don't have a good haircut this month.
My barber was out sick.
That looks terrible, but in real life, you don't look terrible.
No, you don't.
You're a handsome guy.
Thank you.
Don't take pictures anymore.
You're welcome.
Thank you.
Damn, my wife was feeling the goatee today.
Yeah, you imploded a mini golf and you came back your evil twin.
Please give TJ a high five.
Thank you.
You changed the game.
You guys made fun of me.
You were like, that's what you did?
And then I fucking tooted in all your faces.
Tooted?
Tooted.
Tooted?
Tooted?
Tooted.
Toot it.
Toot it. Oh, I thought you. Toot it. Toot it.
Oh, I thought you said toot it.
We all thought that.
Every single day.
A day after you actually couldn't toot in our face.
Toot.
That's toot.
That's what he said.
That was arguably the hardest hole in the course.
It was the hardest hole in the course.
A lot of people made toots.
Does that mean they hacked it too?
Did they do it a unique way that nobody else was able to fully execute?
Any toot would have been a hack of the hole, right? I mean, I feel like I can do this. it to? Did they do it a unique way that nobody else was able to fully execute?
Any two would have been a hack of the whole, right?
I mean, I feel like I can do this. Did they laugh
at Kobe when he was practicing at 5 a.m.?
There are no shortcuts
to greatness. I won't
hang to apologize for penalizing me when
he was allowed to do this. Everybody did it.
Everybody did it. The entire field did it.
But you wouldn't have made it a cut anyway. Fine.
But it messed the mojo up. Nobody else had to fight through mojo who's
who's arguing here you or nick both i want to see my guy it's it's brandon walker appreciation day
yeah that's true that's true all right i apologize no you didn't do it but i apologize on behalf no
you can't why not i would like a an apology from hank because if i deserved it sure but then everybody deserved it
shay deserved it hank's not bad right right now he slept until 11 30 yesterday what yeah what was
the reason i didn't see um he went out drinking with caleb ah that'll do it he at 11 30 he wasn't
here and his phone was going right to voicemail. And we I called.
I kept on calling him.
I actually started getting nervous because I think actually if Hank like died, I would be the first to know.
Yeah.
Like, I think I think they would probably contact me.
So I was like, I haven't been contacted.
Who would contact you?
I don't know.
The authorities, the deaf people, deaf people.
Yeah.
Well, it'd be like a cop.
And he'd be like oh that's Hank
we should call big kid
yeah
so I called his
apartment building and I was like
hey there's a guy who lives
in this apartment building I need you to maybe go
knock on the door and the woman's like okay
no problem and
I was like alright he'll call me in 20 minutes when he
plugs in his phone then I called back and I was like hey did you knock on the door and she's like yeah
we contacted she said another person's name
she's like we contacted their wife and she's going to try to find him so
I had another family just freaking out oh god yeah
but then he woke up and then he came in
and then we also told him at 3 o'clock that OJ died and he hadn't heard.
That was thrilling.
Wait, was there a thought that crossed your mind that Hank was missing?
Yeah, I started to get worried.
Well, all those guys in the river.
It was funny, and then I was like, wait, now I'm actually worried.
Now I'm scared, yeah.
So, yeah, he's down bad.
So you can just say, hey, Hank, thanks for showing up today.
There's no beef.
Just a gentle but thorough apology.
You could have won $22,000.
Could have won.
Who knows?
Who knows how low I would have gone if I hadn't had to fight through Mojo that nobody else had to fight through.
Yeah.
You're the only one penalized.
But that's not what this does.
It's Brandon Walker appreciation day.
What do we all appreciate
about Brandon
pass
but um
you're allowed to pass
yeah pass
Brandon I guess your turn
no who are you gonna say
you
were you a professor today
yeah
you teaching a class
at Butler
yeah
what
that was a big future me problem oh you agreed to it months ago Were you a professor today? Yeah. You teaching a class? Yeah. What was that? Yeah. What?
That was a big future me problem.
Oh, you agreed to it months ago? Oh, you did.
Months ago.
It was a big class.
Months ago.
So Corey McFerrin, who longtime anchor on Chicago TV.
He was on Fox Chicago.
He's a really good guy he 10 years ago uh let me come on and do bears
recaps on monday mornings for like five minutes on fox chicago so i've known him for a really long
time so he now he retired he's teaching a one credit class at butler and he hit me up maybe
three months ago was like hey i want to bring my class by can you give him a tour and do a q a
woke up this morning page was texting me she's like
hey just a reminder the butler kids are coming and i was like what fuck but they're really cool
yeah yeah but yeah i had to i had a good job yeah i did a whole tour um they were nice kids
wide-eyed they looked so young they looked so young yeah i got starstruck today. He's still in the office. Where's he at?
Colby O'Donis? No, dude.
Georgia Line. No.
Yeah. Georgia Line. Oh, it's Georgia Line.
The country singer.
He's here? Yes.
And you don't know?
Georgia Line's here. Who brought him?
Dante.
I freaked out. I turned the corner. Lo and behold,
Line brother. That's incredible. Dante and White Sox Dave Dante I freaked out I turned the corner lo and behold line brother
that's incredible
Dante and White Sox Dave were leading him around
yeah I saw that we crossed
paths I do one
thing that happened on the class
I taught whatever you want to call it Butler
tour we came in here
and they were asking
what goes on in here and I was
explaining what goes on in here and they I was explaining what goes on in here,
and they're like, so is it spontaneous?
What is it?
And I was like, well, yesterday, for example,
we didn't end the show until everyone farted in the microphone.
And the three adults on the tour looked at me like,
they were like, we got to stop this right now.
These are kids that are trying to get jobs at NBC and WGN.
You're like, success is fartinggs yeah you're like successes farting yeah
yeah we farted a microphone what lessons did you like give them
all right did you give them any like i don't know if i did
hard work but any like any motivation um yeah hard work yeah Yeah. Work hard. Okay. Showing a student how to succeed here, you could use a video of Frank the Tank.
Yeah, I don't know what you would say.
You could use the farting video.
You could use Mintz grilling a grilled cheese.
Yeah.
Jerry doing-
White Boy Rick.
Yeah, wearing a blouse.
Yeah, we're very inclusive here.
There's white boy Rick.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't really know how to tell.
Like, I'm not good at that.
I don't know what.
What do you say to someone who's like, how do I get a job here?
Start making stuff.
Start making stuff and do what you want.
I have never seen a bench in that position.
Yeah, man.
On her side?
Like in that
yeah like
that orientation
taking apart
that's a great abso
you like that bench
vertical
don't say abso
you want to put it together
it sounded terrible
no
that's the bench though
when you wear shorts
all right
spin a wheel
somebody's got to put
I was always afraid
of my balls going through it
yeah
and if they have to sit
and do the whole
yeah spin a wheel
somebody's got to put
the bench together
yeah I like that
do you guys ever touch your butt underneath it?
Yes.
While you're at it and feel it?
Yeah.
What?
It was cool for me.
Oh, do that.
Not the hole.
No.
Just the cheek.
Yeah, just the cheek.
Oh.
Your cheek would kind of seep through.
When people say butt, you automatically think hole?
The way he did the finger up.
Yeah, yeah.
That was a hole motion.
That was.
I was fingering myself in fourth grade.
Yeah, I mean, that isn't just touching your butt. It's a great bench. Well, if your friend's on the bench. I saw it. I was fingering myself in fourth grade. That isn't just touching your butt.
It's a great bench.
I saw it. I bought it in Italy.
That's an Italian bench.
That's your gift for Brent.
Did you bring a gift?
Yeah, okra pie.
Oh, yeah.
He promised you okra pie.
Thank you. Is this okra pie.
Thank you.
Is this okra and pie?
This is okra.
He's got okra in one hand and pie in the other?
Pie is best enjoyed by hand.
Yeah, it gave me a little message.
You have a pie guy?
Got a pie guy. Where?
Shit.
Okra is separate from the pie or it's okra pie?
Wait, where did you go pick that up and pie
is there how did you little little hut what the fuck is that the aussie hand pie shop yeah i was
lying this is an aussie hand aussie pie shop it's a steak and cheese you gotta make you gotta take
that out with your hand yeah and then put the fried okra which is to your left blanket
this is a big Australian thing.
Build-a-bear type shit.
Oh, it's fun.
You got a build-a-pie.
Yeah, you game the tools.
You got to make a wish before you.
Oh, I added on honey mustard for $1.25.
Oh.
So what?
The okra as a dipper.
By the way, next to their seats,
everyone has one of these to explode on Brandon
whenever you so feel.
You don't have to.
Caitlin provided those.
Alright, I'll wait for you.
Okay, yeah, wait for your...
What other gifts do we have?
Ooh, I got my gift.
I got Brandon Walken a...
Brandon Walker a...
See, it's not loud.
I got Brandon a seduction kit.
Okay.
You can use at any point, but it's an automatic seduce.
Homemade or?
It's like a MOOC kit.
I put it together.
It's a MOOC kit.
This is your seduction kit?
Yeah, so this is what I would use.
Don't stop making the pie.
Yeah, you got it.
That's the first part.
And then here's the second part.
All people are going to get sex.
Flowers?
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
That's actually good.
That'll work.
Tell your wife that you got her flowers for your birthday.
Yeah.
Present my wife with the flowers?
Yeah, so that's step one.
45.
So I think you credit her. Just be like, I wouldn't have made it to 45 without you. Yeah. Was that my wife with the flowers? Yeah, so that's step one. 45. So I think you credit her.
Just be like, I wouldn't have made it to 45 without you.
Yeah.
Good idea.
Look at these flowers.
Thanks for building my workout set.
So that'll get her warmed up.
And then these are bedroom tools.
These flowers were made by a seed, kind of like the seed I want to put into you.
They're a cock ring.
So you bring her to the bedroom
oh okay
what is it
so you present her with that
you put that on the nightstand
and she'll automatically know what's about to happen
what do we got here
oh yeah
oh yeah
yeah
so that's gonna get her going and then you present her her pleasure oh yes brandon and then you share
because you don't want to have a after yes oh nice you don't want to have a baby while your
wife is thinking about mook that baby will come out of ginger i don't i don't mean
you gotta scoof it you gotta pull. I don't mean it. I don't mean it. You got to scoop it. You got to pull out.
Kyle got Air Maxes.
Oh, yeah, he did.
Brandon, I got you sex.
That's right.
I did get Kyle a bunch of stuff.
You got okra pie.
Kyle got Air Maxes.
I got okra pie.
Oh, Kate, do you have something?
A bench and a...
I have something on the way.
Oh.
And also something I...
Yeah, that's...
Yeah, that's...
That looks like the one I got last week.
Are you serious?
Yeah, because Brandon is kind of a frog.
Yeah.
I don't think Kate got you anything.
Is that frog holding a shotgun?
Yeah.
Oh, that's...
I never noticed that.
Yeah, it is.
Get off my property.
Yeah, it is.
For your doc.
Yeah.
And we're all hanging out there this summer.
But I do have something on the way.
That's a great gift, Kate. That's a really good's really good frog's got a shotgun brandon brandon i appreciate how
you're disproportionately nice to me compared to others yeah there's the build-a-pie tj's uh
you guys get him something yeah it's good looking okra not physically here but there is a gift on
the way so no so That's a no?
No, I fetched his address this morning. I didn't mean to do that.
What? He asked for
my address. I don't know why he said fetch.
Are you a dog?
I fetched his address.
I sent a message.
For a guy who doesn't have a dog, you ought to use a lot of
dog things. Are those cheese curds?
TJ, did you get okra?
Have you ever had okra? No.
Not like that.
TJ.
TJ didn't get you anything.
TJ.
TJ.
What did you get me for my birthday?
I don't remember when yours is.
Was recent.
Brandon, would you like my gift?
Yes.
I would.
Okay.
Well, I didn't get you anything.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Ouch.
That sucks because you said you wanted it too.
I did.
What did he want?
I want a gift.
I just wanted an egg.
Oh, egg gift.
All right.
I did get you two things, but they are not here yet, but I purchased them today.
All right.
They will be delivered in a week or so.
Did you fetch my address?
No, they're going to be here.
All right.
Is it on this sheet?
Yep.
These are two sheets or one sheet?
Two sheets.
Two gifts.
Better than our gifts.
Oh, shit.
It's like that.
Those are good gifts, right?
What do we got?
Pontoon boat?
Pretty good.
Yeah.
Pretty good gifts right what do we got pontian boat pretty good yeah pretty good but pretty good gifts so gift one is a signed bobby heenan magazine oh bobby bobby the brain heenan
as brandon's favorite sign wrestling person ever signed bobby the brain heenan um picture yeah
so both those will be delivered those are uh also authenticated. So I bought them for like a real collectible.
That's pretty good.
Yeah.
He's dead too.
Is that pretty?
Oh.
It's literally Brandon's hero.
Thanks, Steven.
I am.
When I act.
On top of that, he's dead.
I do think it's more valuable.
He can't do those.
I'm acting like Bobby Heenan.
That's exactly who I act like.
So, thank you.
Yeah.
That's good.
Yeah.
I am going to enjoy this okra, too.
I know you love Bobby Heenan, and you love collectibles.
That signed magazine is going to be cool.
I have that magazine, but not signed.
Not signed.
Yeah.
Pretty good.
Pretty goddamn good.
And he is dead.
He's very dead. Yeah. Been dead for a while good. And he is dead. He's very dead.
Yeah.
Been dead for a while.
And you can sit on your bench and look at those things.
Mm-hmm.
While eating my okra pie.
Mm-hmm.
Well, you're not putting it in the pie.
You shove it into the pie.
It's not really.
Kyle said he got you an okra pie.
You insert the okra in the pie.
Can we just point out that Kyle invented okra pie.
That doesn't exist.
That's not a thing.
Yeah, so you're going to eat the first ever okra pie.
I figured it must have.
But now, you know, this is all we got we got you better hurry up somebody might do it before you
you're literally gonna eat the very first okra pie no man has ever done this you're like neil
armstrong kyle got you your own food no you just gotta bite it take a big old bite out of it oh it
does say i need to do it by hand thumb useumb. I have to empty it? Use the thumb. What thumb? Yeah, like Little Jack Horner. Yeah, you don't empty it.
There you go.
And I'll shove the fried okra pieces in.
Little Jack Horner got his thumb stuck in a Christmas pie.
In a corner.
That's been my Twitter header for years.
That's right.
One of my favorite guys.
Did you clear it out?
There it is.
Use the thumb.
The thumb is the best finger for pie.
Woo-hoo!
For pie.
Oh!
Anybody want to share my okra pie?
No!
Oh, it's your okra pie.
Take a big bite so you get the okra in the mouth.
Wait, can he lady in the trumpet with somebody?
Can we spin the wheel?
Not me.
Who wants to lady?
Oh, is that person?
That's little Jack Horner.
Oh.
I'd actually like to choose myself.
Okay.
Mook, would you like to Lady and the Tramp this pie with me?
I would love to.
Oh, nice.
There's nothing more.
Wait, take out the picture first.
Yeah, yeah.
Set the mood.
And maybe put one of the condoms on.
Oh, yeah, you should put a condom on your cock.
Go to the bathroom and just come back and let... I just want to know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Both a condom on your cock. Go to the bathroom and just come back.
I just want to know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Both of you guys put condoms on.
Go, go, go.
I don't need to see.
I just want to know that you have condoms on.
Put the condoms on.
No, put the condoms on.
No, but just put them on.
Just put them on.
Put the condom on.
I just want to know you guys are sharing a pie with condoms on. Put the condom on. Just put the condom on.
I just want to know you guys are sharing a pie with condoms on.
Nobody has to see it.
Put his down.
We practice safe pie eating here.
Just put a condom on your dick.
I put condoms in 2004.
What's that, a nugget?
I'll put a condom on with you guys.
Yeah, let's all put condoms on.
Let's wear condoms.
I don't want to wear a condom.
Why?
I'm not a condom guy.
Let's just keep it.
Let's just wear a condom.
Yeah, we should put him on. Don't eat it until he puts his condom on. Imagine somebody getting pantsed and they're wearing a condom. Why? I'm not a condom. Let's just keep it. We should put them on. Don't eat it until he
puts his condom on. Imagine somebody getting
pantsed and they're wearing a condom.
That is the single most
embarrassing thing that could happen to a human
being. Bro, why are you wearing a condom?
You get pantsed and you're
There's just a condom on your dick.
You're wearing a condom.
There is no explanation.
How do you spin that?
I want a pants mook so bad now.
There's no way to recover from that.
Bro, are you wearing a condom?
You'd be ruined.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's his name? Tyler. Yeah. Guys, it's Tyler.
You're going to lead this.
I don't know anything about it.
This is Florida Georgia Line.
I knew that.
We have a guy getting a condom on.
What's going on?
What's up, man?
What's up?
How's it going?
This is a live one.
Yeah, we're live right now.
Come on and sit down.
We're live.
We're live.
This seat right here.
Yeah, and just so there's no secrets here,
the one guy who's left, he's going to put a condom on.
Perfect.
Okay, all right.
Perfect.
Is there anything more embarrassing if you got pantsed
and you were wearing a condom?
That'd be pretty bad.
Yeah, it's pretty bad, right?
Just randomly out of nowhere.
If I just pantsed you.
You never know.
How do you talk your way out of that one?
I don't know.
I've heard it all the time.
Yeah, your dick flopped out.
There's a condom on your dick.
You're like, dude, why do you have a condom on?
I thought you were a snitch.
What would be the most embarrassing setting?
Oh.
Stage.
Like Chaminade Boy School?
Yeah. Like a game of tag with your boys? Stage. Like Chaminade Boys School? Yeah, like a
game of tag with your boys?
You want some fried okra?
Yeah. Oh, okay.
Is it fresh? Yeah.
It's his birthday today
so we're all celebrating. Yeah.
Wow, happy birthday. How old do you think
it is? It's the same birthday as my new album.
Look at that. Oh, happy birthday to your new album. Wow, wait, we should celebrate that. Yeah, How old do you think? It's the same birthday as my new album. Look at that. Oh.
Happy birthday to your new album.
Wow, wait.
We should celebrate that.
Yeah.
That's way bigger.
Oh, that is fresh.
Yeah, pretty good.
Pretty good.
Thanks for sharing.
Yeah.
Happy birthday.
All right, I'm going to go back over there.
You throwing out the first pitch today?
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
At White Sox?
Yep.
Nice.
Any nerves? I heard they're crushing it this year.
So much.
Sensitive?
Topic? Do you have shows here, too year. So much. Sensitive? Topic?
Do you have shows here too?
Yeah, tonight.
Where's that?
The Arena.
Nice.
Down the street.
Yeah.
I mean, that's cool.
Y'all come hang out.
The Arena.
The big one.
The one in the city.
Yeah, the big one.
Have you ever-
I'm not headlining it, so I can say that.
Have you ever accidentally said the wrong city?
Yeah, yeah.
To start a show?
Which one?
More than once.
Really?
More than once.
Yeah.
Is there one that sticks out?
They all run together, especially when you start the show and you're like, what's up,
Phoenix?
And then you're like, and then they're like in your ear like, bro, that was last night.
That's like getting pants to wear in a condo.
Exactly, bro.
It's like, you know, at that point you just got to call yourself out and be like, my bad. You should maybe put on a condom. Exactly, bro. It's like, you know, at that point, you just got to call yourself out
and be like, my bad.
You should maybe put on a condom.
I love Minnesota.
Yeah.
You should put on a condom
in case you do that,
and then if it happens,
you can just pants distract yourself.
Yeah.
You're like, look,
this is way worse.
That's the ultimate distraction.
Yeah.
What's taking Mook so long
to put it on?
Tyler Hubbard's here.
I don't like knowing that you have it on.
Do you have it on? Mook's got a comment.
You can tell by the way.
Because he's hard. You're walking like
you put it in your ass.
What is this? A great chewable? What is this? You put it on the wrong side?
That's hilarious.
So you got to get hard.
I can't. No.
He said it's falling off.
Would you let one of us
Pants you?
Does it really feel that weird?
Dude it feels so weird
Like you're getting
Like a hug
It felt like a
Somebody was in the stall
Next to me
And I'm just like
Trying to scrunch
My dick inside of it
And it's making
Oh yeah
All this noise
Cause your dick
You almost have to bend it in half.
I almost put the balls in there, dude.
Why?
Just to fill up space?
Extra room.
Is this the weirdest live show you've ever walked into?
Yeah.
I'm into it.
Welcome, brother.
It might just be a condom show.
Thanks for having me.
Yeah, we're a soft dick condom show.
And you have the condom and the okra pie.
Yeah. Fat okra. Wait And you have the condom and the okra pie. Yeah.
Fat okra.
Wait, you have one on?
Wait.
You put one on.
Yeah, he did.
I gave him one.
He also has a condom on.
He's walking more naturally.
Dante's just shaking his head like this might have been a mistake.
Thanks, Dante.
Dante, you can sit down.
Yeah, Dante.
You don't believe in condoms?
No, we just had a really good interview with him.
We're having a better one.
Yeah.
At the very end.
You're trashing it.
At the very end, Dave was like, hey, by the way, he dropped a new album today.
Yes.
We've discussed that we're sharing birthdays.
And Dave sold him on coming on the show.
His team loves the Yak.
Oh.
The minute Dave asked him, they were all like, yeah, you got to go.
You got to go.
And he was like, I don't know what the hell that is.
And then you walked in.
I didn't say it like that.
I feel like we just led him to his execution.
So how'd you describe it to him?
I didn't have to.
Dave said, go on, they get millions of views.
You missed fart day by day. Yeah, yesterday was fart eliminator.
We couldn't leave the show until everyone farted in a mic.
No way.
Yeah.
How long were you guys there?
Until gay Rick did it himself.
No, it wasn't that mic.
It was a mic in the middle.
Okay, good.
We actually have the highlights if you want to see them.
Oh, do we have the fart highlights?
Yeah, TJ, you want to play the highlights?
Wow, incredible.
Yeah.
Thanks, man.
Yeah.
I could tell you mean that.
It's pretty highbrow stuff.
That's a good fight.
Come on, KB.
He had to push that one.
That one actually helps.
You're not proud of that.
That was bad.
Look how embarrassed you were.
That was good.
That was good. Oh, that was stopping.
How long?
It took us about two hours.
Trick shot.
The no scope.
Did you just quote tweet it maybe earlier in the day?
He's got more.
Encore.
I love how you knew.
That was Tate, the lady next to you.
She went behind the camera.
Team player.
Respect.
Oh, my gosh.
That was the last one of the day.
We're all out of leave.
It's pretty fun.
That's amazing.
How long did all that take?
It was about two and a half hours.
Were you guys eating fried okra?
No, we shouldn't have. No, that's just today.
Getting it working?
Okay.
Wow.
No, today we have condoms on our soft knocks.
Wait, so where else are you touring?
Shout it out
Everywhere
Everywhere?
I really don't know
All summer?
So you really screw up the cities a lot
One day at a time for me
Yeah exactly
They literally shine a light on the paper
Bro we're in Des Moines tonight
So yeah anyways
I know I'm gonna be in
Actually I really don't know
So I'm trying to play it cool, but I don't.
I like that.
Are you on a tour bus?
I am.
How sick is it?
Have you ever tricked out?
No, not really.
It's kind of stock, to be honest, because I'm just leasing it, and I'm probably going
to have to turn it back in every time I get it there.
And then it's like, oh, here's, turn it back in.
But no, it's nice.
It's cool enough.
It gets it done for sure it sleeps it's like has it gone up because i i'm friends with uh chase rice
who's a big we've had him around his bus garbage but i remember when he no remember like 10 years
ago he was in a sprinter van oh yeah and then like a few years later he comes back and he's got an
awesome bus and he was like he was in a sprinter van and i was jealous because we were in a 15 passenger church van and i was like bro rich so do you
think about that now where you're like i was in that church van and now i got this yeah totally
i mean bro i've been in a bus for a lot of years now and it still doesn't get i'm so grateful for
it because it's been a lot of years just when i say roughing it like we really roughed it so yeah
it feels good and even this weekend,
bro,
I got like the whole family out
so it's,
that's awesome.
We can just,
you know,
hunker down
and go camping
if you will,
on tour.
When's the interview
coming out,
Barstool Backstage?
Probably next week
but we,
he played Wrigley
with Nelly
and Backstreet Boys
a couple years ago.
That's sick.
Damn.
That's fun.
I saw you in Camden, New Jersey. That's sick. Damn. That was fun.
I saw you in Camden, New Jersey.
Really?
Yeah, when I was underage.
Perfect.
Yeah, it was very nice. You raged?
Yeah, I raged.
Party.
Four locos.
I love it.
What year was that?
2016?
15, 16 maybe.
Good times.
Yeah, Mook, that's nice.
That's some street cred.
Yeah.
Street cred.
Now you're sitting next to him with a condom on.
Yeah.
What in the world? Dude, I'm like angling myself up so it doesn some street cred. Yeah. Street cred. Now you're sitting next to him with a condom on. Yeah.
Dude, I'm like angling myself up so it doesn't slide off.
Is your stain on just fine, Brandon?
I threw mine away.
Oh.
I'm fronting.
I can't even.
You're fronting?
Yeah, you would have waddled like me in here.
Yeah, I couldn't.
My penis isn't up for that, man.
There's nothing worse than a condom falling out.
Yeah. Walking down the street. Just out of you? Yeah for that, man. There's nothing worse than a condom falling out. Yeah.
Walking down the street.
Just out of you?
Yeah.
Oh, God.
That's never happened. Those are condoms for her pleasure, right?
Yes.
Do women get pleasure from sex?
I don't know.
What does a per pleasure mean?
It must be on somebody else's dick.
It says enhance stimulation for her.
It's like an oxymoron. Why are we worried about her? It's facts. I don't know. It says enhanced stimulation for her.
It's like an oxymoron. Why are we worried about her?
It's facts.
I don't know.
It's got ribbon.
Certainly not enhanced for us.
No.
What were you going to say, Dante?
Get some L.C.
I wanted to check out this cheat sheet.
Oh, yeah.
No, don't do that.
Go ahead.
Ask him one of Stephen Chay's questions.
Yeah, ask him one of the other questions.
I haven't looked at the other section, but I know they're always good.
Today, the other section is just the rules of the game.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
I keep forgetting.
Oh, we have a game today.
Yeah.
What's the game today?
This is the worst.
It's called Do You Have Enough Body Armor?
All right.
Well, yeah.
We shouldn't make Tyler.
No.
No.
We shouldn't even i think we should
i think we should and i think dave should substitute whatever he spends for no because
dave was going to kill somebody if he slaps him dave owes us a slideshow by the way oh i didn't
know there was yeah no last week he came in and we were doing a slide presentation everyone had
to do one of stephen chase questions and sat I was like, so you got your slideshow?
He said yes.
And then when his name got called, he's like, I didn't do it.
Oh.
Where were you during fart day, by the way?
Oh, he tried.
Remember he came in.
Did he?
Slap out on me.
Slap out on me.
I didn't remember him.
Sorry, Dave.
That's my fault.
He tried.
Dave, you like this bench?
Do I like the what?
The bench
That bench in front of you
Yeah it's a nice bench
I got it for Brandon for his birthday
Oh great gift
Thank you
Yeah
Thank you
What are you going to do with it?
Sit on it?
Probably sit on it
Yeah
That's what I would do
Probably put it somewhere that furniture should be
Or a bench should be
Yeah yeah yeah
That's a good question Dave
It's his birthday but we also found out he has diabetes
You're diabetic?
Yeah he's diabetic
No I'm not, the doctor didn't actually confirm that
You're pissing like every 15 minutes
That's just getting old brother, I don't know what to tell you
Actually that's probably why you should wear a condom
It's like a feed bag
To stop from passing my diabetes to my wife? No, if you start peeing
you have something to catch it.
It's not a bad idea.
Then I would just have a reservoir of pee
on the head of my dog. Better than in your pants.
Well, you take it and you wrap it up like a dog
shit bag and you toss it in the
like a dog shit bag.
I don't think you do that.
Whatever you guys want, I'll pee.
If you peed with a condom on, does it come off or does it just fill up?
Mook.
Oh, my God.
Tyler.
Go ahead.
It almost certainly fills up, right?
No, I mean, it depends.
It depends on your width.
It's like a water bottle.
I don't know.
Can the piss get out?
I mean, if I pissed right now, one drop of piss would just send it right down my legs.
Like the entire condom would just come off. This is the show tyler yeah what we're doing right now every day are you uncomfortable
no i feel pretty good yeah you'd probably be more comfortable with a condom i like
you'd feel safe that's what she used to say yeah um all right tj can you pull up uh his tour
schedule so we can see?
Shout out people coming wherever you're going next.
You don't know where you're going next.
No, I could pull out my route sheet.
Let's find out together.
Yeah, let's find out together.
This will be a surprise.
That was quick.
Afghanistan.
Oh, you are going to Des Moines.
What the fuck?
The bull?
God damn it, dude.
This guy.
Hey, world tour baby all right so today uh rosemont and
then you're going to des moines minneapolis grand forks all right so everyone looks like
midwest texas going south a little bit you are going everywhere oregon california god damn how
long is this tour i'm going to ut holy shit This is just the can- I don't know.
I just go until they tell me not to.
Same thing.
Do you have a favorite spot or like, no, it kind of all blends or you're like getting- It kind of all runs together.
Yeah.
But-
Oh, you're doing it for Canadians?
Yeah.
Hey, to be honest, dude, they get down in Canada.
Yeah.
They have country music.
That might be one of my favorite.
I mean, you can hit a Canadian city and they go crazy. So that's always Canada. Yeah. They love country music. That might be one of my favorite. I mean, you can hit a Canadian city and they go crazy.
So that's always fun.
Yeah.
I'd say the crazier the fan, the more memorable the city.
Kansas City is pretty awesome.
We had a good one there last night.
Anyways, I was there last night.
That's kind of fresh on my mind.
Oh, wow.
What's the craziest fan encounter you've ever had?
People still flash in at concerts?
Yeah, do people still do the boobs?
I'll be honest
uh not too many boobs these days i don't know if it's not pc anymore what occasionally at a good
festival i was in australia um a few weeks ago and saw a pair oh nice big festival yeah did the
boobs go counterclockwise down there oh that's a good question good question good question i didn't
get to i didn't get to look at him close enough.
I was afraid to get caught looking at him.
You know, like you know you're on the big screen.
Well, that's what they're there for.
That's what they're there for, but, yeah, you're just kind of like,
okay, this could end poorly.
All right, so, I mean, we got a lot of fans around the country,
so if you're going to a Tyler Hubbard show,
why not just flash your condom penis?
That's the yak flash.
If you see that, you know it came from us.
That's right.
It's a staple.
It's not a 0% chance now
that I said that, that that does happen.
It could happen.
I'll know for sure where it came from.
You'll know what it means.
Oh, shit. That would be my craziest fan encounter. Okay, so someone there's one person. I'll know for sure where it came from. You'll know what it means. Oh, shit.
A condom dick.
That would be my craziest fan encounter.
Okay, so someone's got to step up to the plate.
He's got his, pulled his pants out, soft dick.
Soft as the Dickens.
Could have been a softer dick.
But he had a condom dick.
Just in case.
Getting prepared.
All right, well, thank you, Tyler.
Oh, man.
Bye, man.
You know, special interview, guys.
Yeah, man.
Good luck on the tour.
Yeah.
Thank y'all.
Y'all are welcome to come in.
He was with Morgan Wallen last weekend in Nashville hanging out.
That is not true.
Don't do me like that.
I tried to tell him not to throw it.
Don't do it.
It's not worth it.
He's like, yes, it is.
Every time.
Anyways, thanks again, again guys thanks so much
happy touring a real quick ad uh draft kings by the way draft kings an action-packed fight
card is taking over las vegas for ufc 300 draft king sportsbook the official sports betting
partner ufc is giving new customers a shot to turn $5 into $150 instantly in bonus bets with any UFC 300 bets.
And if NBA is your thing, our guy Stephen Che has an NBA prop parlay
in the NBA section of the DraftKings homepage.
Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app.
Use code YAK.
New customers can bet $5 to get $150 instantly in bonus bets
only on DraftKings Sportsbook with code YAK.
The crown is yours.
Hug wheel.
Oh! Hug wheel. Hug wheel. Hug wheelAK. The crown is yours. Hug wheel. Oh.
Hug wheel.
Hug wheel.
Hug wheel.
Hug wheel.
Hug wheel.
Hug wheel.
And then someone's got to go with just a video camera.
I was –
Go.
I love Florida Jordan.
Oh, man.
You didn't get a picture, did you?
No, but it would land on me if –
It can't be me.
It can't be me.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
It's going to get closed.
Oh, Zah.
Zah.
Wait, is that Zah?
Is Zah here?
Yeah.
Zah's here. Che, go with Zah. Take, is that Zah? Is Zah here? Yeah. Zah's here.
Che, go with Zah.
Take a video.
That guy didn't even see.
Oh, no.
Oh, shit.
He's going to leave like, what the?
Where the fuck was I?
Holy shit. That was the weirdest shit. He's going to like What the Where the fuck was Holy shit
That was the weirdest shit
He's gonna be saying that
And then Zod's gonna be like
Hey hey
As he's saying that
Yeah
Well today can't get any weirder
He's gonna think
Zod has a condom on
Yeah today can't get any weirder
That was
Yeah that was the weirdest we've had someone step into.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Fuck it.
Yeah.
Really cool guy.
Yeah.
All right.
So are you guys going to eat your?
I've been eating oak for the whole time.
Did it make you more southern?
You got some.
Yeah, it did.
Oh.
Huh.
Okay. Get in there. Oh, it did. Oh. Huh. Okay.
Get in there.
Oh, are we.
Oh, we got something else.
Wait.
Did you buy me.
Is that your food or.
Oh.
Are all my gifts food?
Well, it's kind of the only thing you like.
Oh, nice.
Connor just texted.
I gotta wait.
TJ, do the reveal for us.
Don't watch it.
Yeah.
What did you get?
Lomo Saltado? Yeah, she you get? Lomo Saltado?
Yeah, she got me some Lomo Saltado.
Hell yeah.
And that.
Look at that.
Wait, wait.
Get on the other side.
Yeah, get on the other side.
Lady of the Tramp.
Lady of the Tramp.
Get your condom on.
Yep.
It'd be awesome if you were both wearing condoms.
This looks really wrong.
Oh. Oh my God. god oh how's the pie okra pie
that angle with those old hands on that young head it just looks really
oh tj do we have the video i want to watch that's taking so much self control
that was nice
Zah how did it go from your perspective?
oh here we go
so uncomfortable
I love you big time
I love you big time
yeah
wholesome
get a picture
I love that
oh love that
I love you big time
I love you big time
Zaw when he was on the air asked so this guy's name is Georgia
Line
love some big time
I was walking back
and I caught the end of it
and I was like
oh I didn't know
I was like a big country fan
we did a hug wheel
now I know
yeah I missed that
great job
do you want to go
get your picture
no no it's fine
I got to interact with him
that's better than a photo
what do stars like that do
in between shows
When they're on tour
This hotel
Nice hotel
Nintendo Switch
Yeah
I think it's just
I think they're just
I feel like you gotta be tired
All the time
Because they do a concert
There's no way they go to sleep
Until like
They do a lot of media
What do like superstars do
Like what do they
Do they anything wealthy
I think they just go to
Nice hotels Yeah Probably sucks after a while Especially after a show What do superstars do? Do they do anything wealthy? They just go to nice hotels.
Yeah.
It probably sucks after a while.
Especially after a show, you probably can't sleep after a couple hours.
It seems like he's kind of desensitized.
He doesn't know what shit he's in.
I guess a new hotel would be fun.
When you go away for a while and you're in the same hotel for five, six days, it gets tedious.
But he's going to places like Grand Forks.
Yeah, true.
Those buses are cool, though.
The souped up ones.
You can sleep in the back.
Wait, so he's solo on this tour.
No, he's opening for someone.
Kane Brown.
Kane Brown.
Oh, Kane Brown.
What did I do with Kane Brown?
It's a cool ass name
What?
Brown?
Brown is an extraordinarily common
I meant cool ass and it came out last
I did something with Kane Brown
I can't
Something during COVID
He came in to the
Barstool office in New York
The fuck did I do?
It's like some kind of...
You put on condoms together.
That was Tyler.
Battleship or like something...
Yeah, you play him in Giant Jenga?
Battleship.
Brandon, do you know who the most famous person,
influencer with your birthday is?
Oh, it was a drafter party.
Drafter? Thomas Jefferson. Oh, what? Oh, it was the after was a drafter party drafter thomas jefferson oh what oh it was the after
party of the nfl draft the influence zoom who is it um not presley grace nelson it's her seventh
birthday she's from not enough nelson's i don't have enough spoiler alert it's enough nelson's
16 of them there's 16 nelson 16
nelson's i went to their most popular youtube video it's we got in a car accident and it starts
it starts with a montage of all 16 of the kids like hitting the dougie and the nene
like a club banger switches abrupt switch to sad music and they're all sitting in a row and like
we're each going to tell our individual perspective
of the car accident.
It gets to the little girl and she's like,
yeah, I hit my head and then I blacked out.
Oh my God.
Happy birthday, Presley.
Happy birthday, Presley.
Happiest of birthdays after all that traumatic year.
Can we see it?
Yeah, I'd like to see this.
Let's seize with this one, man. birthdays after all that traumatic year can we see can we see it yeah i'd like to see this we got into a car accident there's back what
8.9 billion yeah wait so who are these people they're a family of 16 kids like half adopted half biological from utah and they just do like it's a nice house
janie trey trey short journey bridge
canade these aren't real that was kennedy
spelled like that or then sat somber. Which one's my girl?
Don't say that.
Kind of had something happen to us that we are going to talk about.
Is she wearing a neck brace?
Yeah.
Oh, she is.
Oh my God, she is.
Before you start this video,
make sure that you are subscribed down below.
There's no way she actually...
That's not the appropriate height.
No.
Give us a big thumbs up. How many subscribers? 3.2 height. No. Give us a big thumbs up.
How many subscribers?
3.2 million. Jesus.
So, let's get started.
Alright, so it started on
March 9th.
How did it start?
How long was it?
It wrecked for days.
And before
we left on this road trip, I made this video for you guys. They wrecked for days.
Is she pregnant again?
Yeah, she's pregnant again.
She's incessantly pregnant.
Wait, it happened March 9th. They uploaded this June 22nd.
This is when she crashes.
Please.
I didn't really. I just skipped through.
I didn't watch this.
Oh my god, how long?
We got in a crazy
flip over car accident.
So we're each gonna tell
the story
from our perspectives and what
happened to each of us in the car.
And basically the car was
flipped over and then we tipped
and the car was upside down and then we tipped and the car
was upside down and i just remember glass everywhere and smoke it smelled like gas
none of the glasses busted and just burnt and i was like just in shock and kept saying i mean
that's pretty bad yeah that's a rough that's a rough yeah and then they made him do a youtube
video saying i can't imagine making my own kids sit down and be like, now retell it.
Three months later.
Under a ring light.
Holy shit.
It'll go viral, sweetie.
And it did.
It did.
And it worked.
Yes.
They're on to something.
I guess we'll have to do it.
Jesus Christ.
Y'all want to get in a car?
Get in a car?
And then tell a story on YouTube about it?
Should we spin the wheel to see who's car?
It'd probably do well.
Yeah.
We should just make a fake shit up.
So we had a gang bang.
No, thanks.
Hey, you tell your side.
Blacked out.
She's wearing a neck brace.
We got to do this video.
I'm still wearing the condom.
Yeah, he goes to Mook.
He's like, so yeah, every day I show up to work, I have my condom on.
You never know.
The one day I forget it.
The gangbang.
The one day I fucking forget the condom.
The panting to a condom.
We do the whole gangbang video and Kate just never talks She just sits in the middle
Pantsing with a condom
I want to see it so bad
Can you do an AI prompt?
Or is that, would they not do it?
Are they on that level yet?
They don't do sexually explicit.
I mean the big ones.
I'll text Quigs.
Text Quigs, see if we get a condom.
Even an animation.
Yeah, something.
Do you think, like, you ever think a word when you were a kid and think, wow, nobody's ever thought that word before?
Yeah, if it's a word.
How could you?
Like school, blah, blah, blah.
Like what?
Nobody ever.
Gotcha, yeah.
Watch me make this show.
What was it?
Wouldn't it be gangster? Wouldn't it be gangster if I make this show? Yeah, that was the first time that Nobody ever. Gotcha, yeah. Watch me make this show. What was it? Wouldn't it be gangster?
Wouldn't it be gangster if I make this show?
Yeah, that was the first time that sentence ever.
But do you think the odds are with six billion people,
someone-
That's happened before yourself.
It has.
Has been pants with a condom.
It very well may have.
But part of me thinks no.
No, it has to.
It's happened-
But what would the scenario be?
I think it would be more,
it wouldn't be what we're describing
where it's like kids playing
at a playground, pants, condom.
It's somebody.
It'd be like some dude, like frat house.
Yeah.
Finished fucking, came out.
Yeah.
Pants, condom.
Yeah.
Still like medium chub.
But none to the surprise of the pantser.
Right.
Right.
I want the pantser to be.
The prank is just reversed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
I could see like some high school freshmen getting catfished,
like dorky kid and just be like,
Hey,
it's a girl.
Meet me at the mall.
Wear a condom.
Yeah.
And then it's,
I don't know if that's ever happened.
I don't think it's ever happened in life.
Bro,
you got a condom on?
Yeah.
Somebody,
people have definitely been tricked into putting condoms on thinking they were going to fuck.
Did this happen?
But not pants.
Okay.
But then not pants.
Brandon.
Brandon, when.
Something you want to tell us?
The time you put a condom on, show up hard and red.
You're all but in.
You're all but in.
Very, very specific.
Yes.
That's definitely happening. That's totally happened, guys.
You put a condom. How early did you put the condom on? All right. Yes. That's definitely happened. That's totally happened, guys.
You put a condom on.
How early did you put the condom on?
All right.
Did you show up with the condom on?
I'm just saying that would be an easy way to trick somebody. If they didn't know the mechanics of the condom, they might think they need to pre-put it on.
Do you put one on before you fall asleep just in case in the middle of the night?
Brandon's reading a picture right now to try to get out
of this.
Dragging his finger
across.
Hold on a second, guys.
I'm going to do this ad read.
All right.
Good picture.
Tag team turmoil.
So we actually do have to start this game somewhat soon
because it's three rounds. I'm leaving
at 1.30, so I don't want to be in the game.
Where are you going?
No, you're going to be in the game.
No, my pier guy is coming, and my boat guy is coming, and we're putting the pier and
the boat in the water.
So I really can't.
I got to go soon.
Yeah, so we got to start.
Let's start.
You might be a one-chug-and-done guy.
Yeah, you're one-chug-and-done.
No, I'm leaving.
No, you'll be in the first round.
It's 33 minutes away.
All right.
I don't want to do this.
So I'll explain the rules of the game.
Eight-person tournament.
This is the dumbest thing we've ever done.
It's going to be an eight-person bracket.
We will spin for matchups.
This is stupid.
The wheel is going to determine seating.
You're going to sit across from someone. Chug a bottle of body armor.
Whoever finishes last gets slapped by the winner.
The loser advances to the next round, so you must compete against the other loser.
If you win your match, you don't have to participate.
You could potentially lose three rounds.
We could also make a deal in this room that we're not going to slap hard.
Yeah, but like.
Why are this?
How did we let this be his idea?
All right.
Name wheel. All right, name wheel.
All right, let's just go then, Steven.
Let's do it.
You never know how good this could be.
Slap the condom off me.
You get slapped in the face so hard
and then the condom flies and sticks to the window.
All right, so Steven,
will you spin for the first matchup?
Yes.
Water or a juice?
So you could choose.
The waters are larger, though.
Yes.
Thanks.
Yep.
Yep, I could.
Yeah.
And Stephen Chay's cock doesn't fit in any of these bottles.
None.
Oh, look at that smile.
Goatee Steve.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is going to be fun.
Wait, is there
Zaha on there?
Yep.
If Kate is involved too, if Kate loses,
then TJ will
get slapped and Kate can pick a champion
to slap her.
Thanks, TJ.
In advance.
I'll, Kate.
Oh, Chase.
Chase is definitely the guy that's like, I can drink so much. But I'm happy that he has to go first because he's going to realize how dumb this is.
This is a whole tournament, too.
It's a tournament.
Do we want to spin for all the matchups and then we'll start?
Tournament where the losers advance.
Correct.
Wait, the losers advance?
Yes.
So the losers have to keep going.
So you could potentially drink a lot of water.
Oh, okay.
You could drink a lot of water and get slapped three times.
Potentially, yes.
You know, you can die from too much.
No, just go the first matchup.
Chad, do you want to do body armor
or juice or water?
It's a...
Choose your own adventure.
And we don't have to choose anything
so if you choose water, I can choose body armor.
Let's have fun with this.
Alright, fine.
Yeah.
Okay, so I asked Quigs
to put that into AI.
Guy getting pants with a condom on.
And he put it into the music making AI because it wouldn't do a photo.
So I have a song about a guy getting pants with a condom on.
Okay, okay, okay.
Where are we doing it?
Where are we facing off?
Condom on.
Feeling strong.
Ready to rock.
Gonna have some fun.
But then my luck takes a turn. My pants get pulled down. My face starts to burn. This have some fun, but then my life takes a turn.
My pants get pulled down, my face starts to burn.
This is awesome.
Ow.
My face starts to burn.
Everyone's laughing.
I'm feeling small.
My heart's been creeping.
Walls closing in, just wanted to party.
Feeling so dumb, my confidence shattered.
Can't wait for this to be done
the world's a funny place sometimes it slaps you in the face
more condom talk, yeah. Yeah.
Condom on feeling strong is hard.
How do they do that? That is so cool.
It's really cool.
Can he do it again with a different type of genre music?
Yeah, maybe we could send it to Tyler to perform tonight.
Yeah.
I really hope the Yak fan flashes their condom
Tyler
Tyler I got a condom on bro
yeah that'd take a lot of balls
my fucking condom
okay you guys ready
yeah
uh no so when
someone you'll start
and we'll both open
chug
and then turn upside down
if like a
small bit comes out
that's fine but
let's not be excessive
All right
Three two one go
Mookie
Wow Mookie. Mookie crushed you, Steven. Oh, damn. Yeah, Mookie. Wow.
This might have been a mistake, Steven.
That was some pussy shit.
I have to slap him now?
Yeah.
No, you get to slap him now.
And remember, Mookie's wearing a condom.
You've never been slapped by a man wearing a condom.
How hard are we going here?
As hard as you want.
You're the slapper.
Have you done slapping?
No.
Oh.
What are you looking
at Big Cat for?
Do whatever you want.
Where do you want?
If it's too soft,
we'll make you do it again.
Yeah, don't do it too soft.
Like, don't knock me out.
Knock him out.
And then don't hit
like I was doing.
That's too many rules.
Oh!
That was solid.
Got him.
I like the reverse.
Tricky. It sounded nice.
It was good. It was good sound.
Good job. Good job.
Congrats.
Congrats, man. You might win it all.
I advance
I move on
okay
the condom might be off
oh no
yuck
oh no
oh we're hanging on
me
you're good at chugging aren't you
I'm pretty good at chugging, aren't you? I'm pretty good at chugging.
Why would anybody ever choose water?
I mean, you can choose whatever you want. You can squeeze the water bottle.
You can squeeze.
Oh.
God, I can't chug.
I can't do it.
Kat, go water. Oh, yeah, because you can't burp, right, KB? I'm so bad at chug. I can't do it. Kat, get water.
Oh, yeah, because you can't burp, right, KB?
I'm so bad at chugging.
Very bad.
All right, I'll go water.
Well, I might be able to beat you with this.
I would hope.
But I'm bad.
How much is in that?
It's like double.
The regular body armors are 20 ounces.
I'm not sure how big the big boys might be
33 33 are we starting caps off oh shit my face is red as fuck
i'm sorry jay all right who's telling us? Uh,
3, 2, 1, go.
Oh, Kyle.
Kyle's not doing bad.
Big cats are watching.
Oh, big cats. Oh my god. Oh, no, KB! KB!
Oh my god! KB! Oh!
That was impressive.
I should have done that. Yeah.
Yeah, thank you for doing that. That was a big mistake.
Damn it.
How are we going to do more than one round of this?
Che, you're going to end up having to chug like three gallons.
My God, your face is so red.
Holy shit.
All right, KB, slap it.
Let me stand up.
No, you don't have to.
Oh, the water.
I thought he was going to take it nicely.
Yeah, that's not fun at all.
It's not on any board.
Well, you could have gone softer.
I didn't.
Because of the water.
The last time I, yeah.
Yeah.
I don't like to be a hater.
Bad idea.
Terrible.
Top to bottom.
It's a horrible idea.
Dog shit.
No one's ever done unadulterated dog shit.
Now I'm going to have to hit Kate.
Nick.
I have to.
I felt like that was a lot.
TJ is championing for Kate if she loses.
Brandon, you can do this.
Let's go, Kate.
So wait, who do I go up against next?
Mook?
No, Stephen.
No, I'm out.
All right.
That actually made, I like it again because i'm gonna
beat steven and i'll get will you beat him yeah are we going lids off not yet okay that was really
stupid of me to do the water yeah that was dumb but it was like somewhat close yeah i'm not very
good at chugging wait wait you guys gotta stand next to each other. Otherwise, you can't see.
We are totally dressed up.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
Three, two, one, go.
Go, Kate.
Oh, Nick.
You can't even open it.
Oh, Kate.
Get him, Kate. Get him, Kate.
Nick's catching up. Nick. Oh, Kate. Get him, Kate. Get him, Kate.
Kate!
Great work.
Slap his ass. Oh, yeah.
Oh, I get to slap you.
Oh, I don't want to do that.
Take off your glasses.
Take off your glasses.
Take off your glasses.
I feel bad.
Yeah, take off your glasses.
Are you a righty, Kate, or a lefty?
What's that?
Righty or lefty? Take off your glasses. I don't want to. Am I a Kate, or a lefty? What's that? Righty or lefty?
Take off your glasses.
I don't want to.
Am I a righty or a lefty?
I don't know.
You don't know.
That was good.
That was good.
Kate, what the fuck?
That was awesome.
Way to go, Kate.
Slept the shit out of me.
Holy fuck.
Thank God I don't have to do that again.
Shit.
I'm sorry.
For what?
That was like a real slap
that's alright
Brandon
send him to the moon
no Brandon No, Brandon.
You can start with caps off, by the way.
We did that.
It's just a gentleman's agreement, whatever side you want to do.
All right, you want me to say three?
I'm going to say on go, okay?
Three, two, one, go.
Come on, Zaha. Oh, Brandon. one, go. Come on, Zaha.
Oh, Brandon.
Oh, shit.
Brandon does not want to be slapped.
No.
Brandon is putting his life on the line.
Brandon.
Brandon.
God damn it.
Way to go, Brandon.
Into orbit.
Get fucking to launch him.
Launch his ass.
This is diabolical.
Yeah, this is the worst game ever.
It's going quickly.
All right, so we got me versus Big Cat and then Nick versus Zaha.
We could take a couple minutes if we need.
I'm fine to go, but can wait 10 minutes if you want.
Yeah, probably take a break.
Let the audience process everything.
Can I get a strawberry banana?
I think I hate... Yeah, that's what I did.
It was really good.
Is there any other Nick or Zah?
Strawberry banana.
All right, so we're at halftime of the game.
How's everyone feeling?
Weird. I had everyone feeling? Weird.
I had to slap Zaha.
Yeah.
I'm excited for the final four.
Yeah.
I'm excited to slap Steve.
I'm not going to lose.
How do you think of this fucking idea?
I don't know.
I mean, it is him.
Did you think of this for the sponsor?
I don't know.
They'll love this.
Yeah.
He's just a weird, weird guy.
Should we lock him out?
But I do feel bad because Steven is like, we got to be like, oh, it was a good idea, Steven.
I don't think we do.
No.
Okay.
This is the worst shit.
This is the worst shit.
All right, fine.
Yeah, this is the worst shit.
Look at him.
Congrats, Che.
You won worst shit.
Let's gas him up, though. Yeah, yeah. All right, Che. You won worse shit. Let's gas him up, though.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, yeah.
Let's get him cocky.
This is a fun game.
It's a lot better than I thought it would be.
I'm starting to love it.
It's a very fun game.
How'd you think of this, Stephen?
I owe you an apology.
Yeah, can you tell us how you came up with this?
Because this is like a game we're going to probably do once a week.
Yeah.
No, let's just, I think, I think keep it special. Once a year?
Yeah, but I... Small sliver
on the wheel? I don't know. Other people can have
fun ideas.
No, we like it. We're saying we like it.
We're having fun. Yeah, I'm enjoying it.
I thought it was a fun idea.
I miss slap wheel. On the other side,
it's the worst fucking idea that's ever come up.
I'm having fun.
I'm having fun. I'm having fun.
We did lottery week once.
That was better.
That was better than this.
Hey, you slapped the shit out of Nick.
Can I say, I did the spin.
For momentum.
No, because it's tough to like, whatever,
but I didn't think I was actually going to like connect.
No, no, no, no, no. Back up, back up. It's tough to like whatever, but I didn't think I was actually going to like connect. No, no, no, no, no.
Back up, back up.
It's tough to whatever.
It's tough to move your arm.
It's hard to stand.
Standing's still trying to get the momentum.
But if I spin and I keep it straight and steady, and so I thought, oh, I won't hit him that hard.
You got slapped by a paralyzed woman.
I know.
I know.
I didn't think, because I just didn't think I was going to connect.
I got a lot of okra and meat pie.
That felt kind of good.
Brandon, you don't have to go again.
I know, but I got a lot of okra and meat pie at war with the...
You're going to have to stop like four times on the way home to pee.
Yeah.
I also ate about 40 nuggets before I came in here.
Don't forget your saltado.
Did you have any cake?
Not yet.
The cake is only missing two pieces where you
thumbed the icing on. I'm gluten intolerant.
I just took the icing. I have two cakes.
What kind? Chocolate and vanilla.
One's a chocolate cake. I want some sheet cake.
I love sheet cake. Bring it in.
Connor, when you get to this point...
I'm taking it to my kids. Don't ruin my cake.
Wait, you're not having another cake tonight?
I might. I don't know, but I'm taking it to my kids. What's my cake wait you're not having another cake tonight i might i don't know but i'm taking it to my kids oh you're definitely gonna have a cake what's your birthday
dinner uh i an italian place up up wait is today your birthday tomorrow oh 48 yeah i was gonna go
to the blackhawks game tonight but i decided not to go because my daughter has a softball game oh
how's she playing um she's she's good i got i got early and went yesterday, and she was only a courtesy runner.
Two days ago, she went three for four, and then they didn't play her yesterday.
What?
What position?
You've got to make a statement.
She plays second base and right field.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Second base is not easy.
No.
No.
You've got to be nimble.
Yeah.
She had a line drive up the middle the other night.
Three for four?
That's better than like.
And then I left her game, and I went to the Antioch Lakes game
and Antioch was down 1-0 in the seventh
and then won 2-1 on a walk-off.
Oh, walk-off home run?
Line drive up the middle.
Okay, you're just seeing line drives up the middle.
Getting a good hit is one of the best fields.
Ever.
A line drive hit?
Yeah, because you're like oh man i squared that up
so perfectly oh the stealer softball game the guy reached out he wants us all to play when i'm in
when is it i'll figure it out i'm going i'm in you in yeah they want it to be like barstool
versus stealers we would dominate you mess them up almost certainly mess them up yeah
dude real athletes They play football.
Us against Russ Wilson?
We play softball.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're built for this shit.
We're in a time frame where I'm starting to see old geezer douchebags.
Whoa.
No way.
Hi.
Yeah.
Like older.
I'm talking geezers.
Expand on that.
Wait.
What do you mean?
Like geezers who carry themselves in dress and act
and look, seem like D-bags.
So douchebags have reached octogenarians.
Not often, but like at the gym sometimes
I see like an old ass douchebag.
But do you think he was always a douchebag
or do you think he became a douchebag late?
I think that's what I'm saying.
We're in a phase where like douchebags are becoming old.
Yeah.
Like guys that wore Ed Hardy are now becoming
old.
Yeah. I haven't noticed that wore Ed Hardy are now becoming Jared Roderick.
Yeah.
I haven't noticed that, but I'm going to look out for some old ass douchebags.
What's, did they wear something in particular?
Do they have like a. Like a stringer tank.
Ah.
Their underpants have like the Balenciaga waistband when they do shoulder presses, like
a digital camo Nike shorts,
backwards Dodgers hat. They're watching
Bradley. They do that like cocky shoulder
tick. I know
those guys.
Cocky shoulder
tick. You know the cocky shoulder tick? No.
You just talking about
Jay Cutler?
Does he have that? He has a little
Oh, I actually, this is going to be too messy. What do you mean too messy, Doctor? You Jay Cutler? Does he have that? Here's a little.
Oh, actually, this is going to be too messy.
What do you mean too messy, doctor? You said you weren't going to mess with the cake.
Do you?
Yeah, but if I open this, I'm going to grab it.
Yeah, like an apple.
Don't grab my cake.
So I'm not going to open it.
Okay, don't grab it.
I'm going to get away.
Okay.
I can't help myself.
That was very mature of me.
Good restraint.
Because if that cake got.
But I'd like for you to have some cake
if you open it I'm going to grab it
cut him a piece of cake and bring it in here
if you open it I grab it
how about that cut you a piece of cake and bring it in here
you understand
the issue I was having there
the minute it's open
you asked for a sheet cake he came in with a non sheet cake first Connor doesn't know what a sheet cake is's open. You asked for a sheet cake. He came in with a non-sheet cake first.
Connor doesn't know what a sheet cake is.
He definitely doesn't know what a sheet cake is.
Because, yeah, you open that box.
That's not a sheet cake.
That was a round cake.
That's not a sheet cake.
It's the roundest cake you can get.
Sheet expert, Brandon Walker.
Yeah, big time sheet guy.
Brandon, you want to do the Steven Singer ad?
No.
Yes.
I'm not a sheet guy.
You said yes.
No.
Do you want to do the Steven Singer ad?
Oh, me?
Yeah, and then Steven and and i will go we'll
continue this maybe the best game we've ever had it's here steven singer jewelers just announced
their brand new 24 karat gold dipped rose color rose color for mother's day the moms in our lives
have put up with a lot sure some of us were angels others not so much give a toast to mom for all
their hard work with steven's brand new 24 karat gold dipped rose and red wine this deep rich burgundy color rose will go perfectly with a
glass of wine she surely deserves steven's famous 24 karat gold dipped roses are real roses preserved
and dipped in pure 24 karat gold guaranteed to last a lifetime make mother's day extra special
with a gift that she'll love and appreciate every single day. A luxurious red wine, 24 karat gold dip rose for just $69.
Check out Steven Singer's entire collection of gold dip roses at IHatesStevenSinger.com.
Free shipping and free personalized.
Quigs is it that tally light comes on that tells when this camera is being used,
and Quigs is the only one that knows,
so he's pointing it out to Missy right now that he's live.
Wait, no, but now he's going to come in because he wanted to come in.
Free personalized gift message from you and free lifetime guarantee,
exclusively and only at IHateStevenSinger.com.
He wanted to talk poker today.
I don't really want to talk poker.
Pulled me aside and asked if you were around.
I don't really want to talk poker today.ed me aside and asked if you were around. I don't really want to talk poker
today.
He's going to come to the glass awkwardly.
He's going to awkwardly come to the glass. You know that, right?
Yeah, let's just act like... We don't see him?
Let's act like it's tainted and we can't see him.
We could convince him he's invisible.
We definitely could.
Nobody spoke to him or acknowledged him
for an entire day. Have you seen that?
Oh my god, we should send that out. Let's get a fake newspaper that said he died.
Oh my God, we should send out, I'll send out an email.
I'll get Paige to get an email sent out with him not on it.
And we'll just have Invisible Mincy Day.
Nobody speaks to him.
Nobody clip this.
Nobody clip this.
Nobody send this to him.
Unless you want to ruin a good thing.
Then do it.
Be my guest.
What do you think he'd do he'd keep talking yeah he
wouldn't know it wasn't really phasing you guys are saying he would be convinced that he was
actually invisible yeah somebody would have to plant the seed that he was invisible to him well
have you seen the the prank right hypnotists they pretend to hypnotize and they're invisible yes
i think that would work.
What if we just wrote, we could just write a blog on Barstool being like, Mincy's dead.
Yeah, a fake newspaper.
Or just like-
Well, a newspaper wouldn't-
Would a newspaper report on Mincy's death?
He would think.
We could blog it like a different time.
Yeah, if we made it like the Oxford newspaper, I think he'd buy that.
Lane Kiffin tweet. Yeah. Lane Kiffin tweet?
Yeah.
Lane Kiffin would tweet it.
Yeah, rip my good friend Ben Lins.
We could get like a mirror frame, but not a mirror in it.
It would just be a photo of what's behind it.
He'd like stand in front of it.
Yeah, if we went all out, yeah, he'd be convinced.
Yeah, you could convince him he's dead.
Now that's some good shit right there
That's some really good shit
We gotta do that
Now back to the best game in the world
Alright let's go Steven
So much good shit
Hoodie off.
I'm sorry.
Che, I'm also sorry.
Yeah, Nick, I feel bad.
No, you can't apologize to Che.
Don't apologize to Che.
He did it.
All right.
Three, two, one, go.
Oh, they're both up quick.
That's a good juggle.
The cat.
Oh!
Holy shit.
He just got him in the neck.
Went home.
My neck.
You're back.
I had some animosity.
You're pussy in your back.
There was 0.0% chance I was losing.
The woman that sang that's dating Bill Murray, right?
Really?
What?
My neck, my back, my pussy, and my crack?
Who was that?
Was that Bill Murray?
Khalees?
Khalees.
Khalees.
My neck.
My back, my pussy, and my crack.
I think she's dating Bill Murray.
No way.
Good for him.
Good for her.
Yeah.
Good for, yeah.
Both of them.
Good for them.
Feels good to be out of that game. Yeah. Che might the championship i know i'm hoping he's gonna like flex it
you get a trophy he changed the game
oh no they broke up wow damn it interesting a whirlwind i mean he, he's. What a stud. Yeah, dang.
Damn.
Well, God damn.
Sheesh.
Well, God damn.
A lot of juice in those hands.
Scythe stud.
There it is.
Jay, can I ask you a question?
Sure.
Why did you pick a game you suck at?
I mean, I thought this would be a fun idea.
I'm not going to pick something I'm naturally best at.
What would that be?
What would that be? Yeah, actually, yeah.
Let's keep going down that road right there.
What game could you create that you would dominate in?
We know.
I mean, I smoked you guys all at mini golf.
Chess.
Connect Four. You're good at chess? I am. I mean, I smoked you guys all at mini golf. Chess. Connect four.
You're good at chess?
I am.
I think I could beat you at chess.
I know I couldn't.
I'll bring my board in.
I have a board upstairs.
You have a board?
Me and Brandon play.
I do.
I used to bring it into the New York office.
Are you good, Nick?
No.
You beat Chet.
He's better than me, and I'm not good.
Nick, do you want to beat Che in chess right now?
Che, have I beat you in chess?
I don't believe so.
Have you played?
We've played once or twice.
Well, yeah.
Anybody here good at chess?
I don't, yeah.
Francis is good.
I haven't played in a very long time.
But I did, last time I played, I played my eight-year-old nephew and made him cry.
So, I'm feeling pretty good
Also did you crush everybody at mini golf
How bad did he beat you big cat
I started fucking around
I was chipping shots at the end
My neck my back was not her
Milkshakes was her
She was milkshakes
Who sings my neck my back
Kia
Like Sophia Or like Kia the car milkshake? No. Wait. Yes. Who sings My Neck, My Back? Kia. Kia. Oh.
Like Sophia. Or like
Kia the car.
Like a Sorrento. Right.
Or Baby Kia. Literally a thing.
Who am I chugging against? One of those Kias is called
a Sophia. I got the itch to play again. Is it?
Yes. I had no idea. There's a Kia
Sophia? There was. I had no idea.
Maybe not anymore. How do you spell it? I don't know. What, a porn star? Can you find a Kia Sophia? There was I had no idea Maybe not anymore How do you spell it?
I don't know
What a porn star?
Can you find the Kia Sophia for me?
That does sound more like a porn star
Did I make that up?
No I bet you didn't
Kia Sophia
I don't
Sophia
No I don't think
You're good at those kind of things
Making up Sophia's?
No
That doesn't sound right
That seems like something you'd know
Who am I sipping against?
Za
Za
Hello everybody Look at the beautiful Kia Sophia Sophia You pieces of shit Who am I sipping against? Zah. Zah. Hello, everybody.
Look at the beautiful Kia Sophia.
Sophia.
You pieces of shit.
That's Sophia.
That's what I said.
You said Sophia.
Did not.
That's a nice car.
Did we do the high noon read?
No, not yet.
Okay.
Go off.
I mean, there's no reason to make the own part be part of it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wait, Stephen, can you go get me another strawberry banana?
I got two strawberry bananas.
You're out.
No, Kyle drank that one.
Can I get one too?
Yeah.
Hold on, guys.
I want to see this first.
No, go get it.
We won't do it.
We'll wait.
We'll wait.
All right.
He certainly didn't want to miss part of this.
I'm not going to.
This is the stupidest game ever, but my adrenaline was going when it was time to chug.
Hey, hey.
Whoever's better, one of you should throw this and not even drink any so you save it up so you can beat Steven.
Who's better at chugging?
Neither of you are good at chugging no let's just take it let's take let's take one and pour some out oh yeah yeah hold on here pour some in here oh whoever whoever did you pour half of that out
all right steven you want to say ready set go Hurry, hurry, hurry. Now, now. Can I get one?
All right, Steven, you want to say ready, set, go?
Me?
Yeah, for them.
They haven't gone yet.
This is the place, Steve?
Yeah, this is the place, Steve.
One, two, three, go.
Oh, wow.
Quick move by Zaha.
Oh, shit, Zaha.
Oh, shit, Zaha.
Zaha's not chucking that great, though. Zaha's not chucking that great. Oh, it could be close. Missaha. Oh, shit, Zaha. Oh, shit, Zaha. Zaha's not chucking that great, though.
Zaha's not chucking that great.
Oh, it could be close.
Miss Nick.
Wow.
God is ass.
Oh, boy.
Give me that offense.
Got you feeling even worse.
All right, we're going to take a little break.
Until the next one.
I got to piss.
Who wins, Zara or Steve?
Steve?
I mean, Steven's so good.
But by winning, that's losing.
No.
I'm out of the tournament now.
Yeah, you.
Yeah, yeah.
Winning is winning.
Losing is losing.
Right.
So he will have lost the tournament.
But to be in the champion section of the bracket at the end, you have to losing. Right. So he will have lost the tournament.
But to be in the champion section of the bracket at the end,
you have to lose to win.
So this is an upside down tournament.
But winning is still winning.
No.
We're out.
We can't.
That's winning.
You can't be the champion, though.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
You're right.
Yeah, we got bounced.
I don't think you want to be the last person standing.
But you're going to brag about your championship if it happens.
No, I won't want to win.
You do want to win.
I want to win this matchup, yes.
So would you be the winner?
But then Zah is the one who... Everyone who won their first round matchup is the winner of this.
But we're out of the tournament.
Yeah, none of us can be called champion.
It's a backwards upside down loser's advance.
A backwards upside down loser's advance.
Why did you say it that way the whole time?
How did we know that?
Oh.
Oh.
Backwards.
Get shade.
Backwards upside down loser's advance.
Loser's advance tournament.
A booze dealer.
Of course.
Yeah.
Oh. Yeah. that makes perfect sense this fucking guy man everyone should say something nice about brandon no they don't that's fine
we're good let's go around the room i had had fried okra. It was delicious. That's not something nice about Brandon.
Yeah, but it felt nice to me.
You have a boat.
Thank you.
That was nice.
I'm putting the boat in the...
That wasn't really nice.
Yeah, because...
It's a fact.
Well, and it also is kind of an insult fact because your boat's so small.
No, I'm going to take a picture of my boat today and y'all will see how...
That'd be like saying, you have a penis.
I'm having...
I'm going to announce it right now. In the month of of may i'm having a yak cookout and you all are coming
what to my house i'm gonna grill you steaks and give you baked potatoes and we're all gonna go
out on my boat yeah at the same time same no way at the same no way at the same dim. No way. At the same dim. We're going to take a group photo from my boat.
Yes.
Everybody.
Booth, everybody.
Oh, look at this thing.
Add Titus, that's three, that's six, that's seven, that's ten people?
Yeah.
We're having ten people in that boat.
I will give you the biggest of apologies if that works.
Oh.
We're kidding.
Ten people.
I will be the, I will just egg, I will actually, you know what?
I will throw an egg into my own face. Yeah. what? I will throw an egg into my own face.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I will throw an egg into my own face.
I will wedgie, wet willy myself, and swirly myself.
No, you know what?
I'm going to stand on your pier after this happens with a condom on,
and someone's going to pants you.
Oh, yes.
Oh, boy.
Yes.
Yes.
But that will never happen.
Yeah, right.
Because we're going to sink.
No, you're coming.
You're going to eat steak.
You're going to have a good time.
We're going to sit on my bench, and you're going out in my boat,
and we're going to have a yak family photo.
You really think the boat can hold us all?
Well, we have to go out in it.
We're going out in it.
The motor is turning on, and we're going out.
We're going to do one lap around the lake.
No.
No way.
We're going to park in the middle.
Can we wait until it gets a little bit warmer the water no my wife will stand on the
pier and she will take a horizontal shot of us in the boat yeah i'd like to go more july august
we can actually get back to the mid or in may that's what we're doing oh man the saturday after
mother's day everybody get ready that's happening no we're gonna we're gonna figure out we're doing oh man the saturday after mother's day everybody get ready that's happening
no we're gonna we're gonna figure out we gotta do a live yak we gotta we gotta go out while we're
we're gonna have the cameras getting all right the friday after mother's day it's gonna be
yak is at my house and we're gonna just drive out yeah on the boat uh-huh and and we might do it
we might do two and then we add a third.
Do a lap, add a fourth.
Do a lap, add a fifth.
Do a lap, add a sixth.
That's exciting.
The entire Yak audience watching us sink
like a hundred yards out
is going to be the funniest.
Chad's going to be going crazy.
Like, what are they doing?
We got to do that.
I like the adding.
Maybe we'll do a wheel.
Oh, to see who goes.
All right.
TJ, make sure.
Yeah, let's get this in the works.
That's the last one to get added onto the boat.
Oh, no.
There's no way, Brandon.
Zero percent chance.
I am so confident in the integrity of my boat and the size of my boat.
How many seats are there?
There are three seats.
There are three chairs, but we can put some cushions down, or you can stand, however you want to do it, really.
Can you put that bench on your boat?
I think I'm a little too white.
I would tip it.
Well, it might hang over the edges.
But, yeah, there we go.
We all got to go on a diet.
Mid-May.
Are you all excited?
I mean, I can swim really well, so I'm fine.
But I'm not excited for the people who –
You'll probably just be standing.
Oh, really?
No.
Oh, that's actually – that's way funnier.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We all walk. We just walk back. Oh, that's actually, that's way funnier. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We all walked.
We just got out of the middle and we just walked back.
Yeah, boat sank.
Oh, I'm excited.
Is it strong enough to pull a tube?
Oh.
Can there be one unlucky person on the wheel who has to get pulled?
Yeah, we could tube it a little bit.
You're going to feed us steak and mashed potatoes?
Yeah.
Or baked potatoes.
Baked potatoes, yeah.
A corn on the cob.
We have to eat on the boat.
You know what?
I'm going to add another person.
Tommy Walker is also on the boat.
You're endangering yourself.
I'll tell you what.
If Tommy's on the boat and we sink, I
will... Tommy can get
on my back and can swim back. You realize it.
I'll Kirby Puck it. There's a bigger chance of
him rescuing you than you rescuing him. I'm a
really good swimmer. Are you? Yes. Oh.
You have to go down with your ship.
Yeah, you do. You have to die.
You have to fucking die.
Otherwise, you're a pussy. And even though you're tall enough to stand, you have. You have to die. Yeah, you have to die. Otherwise, you're a pussy.
And even though you're tall enough to stand, you have to go under.
You have to sit.
I drowned in four feet of water.
Drowned in a bowl of soup.
We're all just standing around.
Just holding his head underwater.
Oh, man, that's going to be great.
That's going to be great. That's going to be great.
Should we do the High Noon ad?
Let's do it.
Someone do the High Noon ad.
And then we'll do this finale.
And then we'll end the show for Brandon.
Brandon Walker, appreciation.
I do love you, Brandon.
Thank you.
I love you.
I do love you.
I love you.
The biggest thing is when you're not here, enormous void.
Yes.
Terrific. Not the same. Thank you. Thank you. All of you. The biggest thing is when you're not here, enormous void. Yes. Terrific.
Not the same.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All the chicken nuggets go uneaten.
Well, that's sad.
Sad, sad.
I know.
Bring the Fiesta anywhere you go with the all-new High Noon Tequila Seltzer Fiesta Pack.
This variety eight-pack features two new tequila flavors, blood orange and prickly pear, alongside two tequila favorites, grapefruit and lime.
All are made with real tequila and real juice perfect for any fiesta find the high noon tequila seltzer
fiesta pack nearest you at highnoonspirits.com high noon sun's up sun's up all right championship
time man who is it chainsaw fansaw The booth This is like The Super Bowl
Or like
National Championship
Tournament
I'm gonna be really sad
After this
This season's over
Yeah
Yeah
Should we do a
One shining moment?
No get that orange one
Orange is easier to chug
This one The tightest Missing this Really hurts Yeah No, get that orange one, Zaha. Orange is easier to chug.
Titus, missing this really hurts.
Yeah, he's going to be bummed.
He's going to be so sad. He actually would like this.
He would love this game, Titus.
Go caps off.
Caps off.
All right.
Three, two, one, go.
Oh, Zaha.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Zaha. Come on, Zaha. Come on, Zaha. Zaha, pick it up, Zaha. Oh, my God.
Zaha.
Come on, Zaha.
Come on, Zaha.
Zaha, pick it up.
Zaha.
Zaha, dude.
It's right there.
Yeah!
Zaha.
That was Zaha.
You did it.
Chase, yours empty?
Zaha, I think.
That was a close finish.
Photo finish.
Photo finish.
Okay, if you can go and show just the end
just the end
just the end
Zaha was going ham
that's Zaha
that's Zaha
video confirms Che you're a champion That's a... Video confirmed.
Video confirms.
Jay, you're a champion.
Yeah, good job, Jay.
You won.
Have you been slapped on both cheeks?
Aren't the rules that we all get slapped on again?
Yeah.
You're slapped?
Oh, yeah, you can.
Yeah, you want Brandon's?
Yeah, Brandon, you go.
It's Brandon Walker appreciation.
They slapped him.
Come on, Brandon.
Slap him.
And really slap him.
Get some okra behind it.
What did you say?
Oh, Brandon, just before you slap him,
remember that time when he was like,
your fat ass always takes the elevator.
Remember when he oofed my haircut?
Oh, your haircut. That was your haircut. Yeah. That was my haircut. Man ass always takes the elevator. Remember when he oofed my haircut? Oh, your haircut.
That was the original oof.
The original oof was oofed.
That was me.
No, I'm the original oof.
You oofed? He oofed my haircut.
You oofed her.
What about when you oofed Kate's
pregnancy? That was more of an oof.
Yeah.
And you didn't mean to.
It was completely accidental.
Can we have that clip?
Oh!
Good.
Good. That was a lot of fun
Great game
This fucking guy comes up with
Wait did I say fun
Yeah
Oh
I meant pure dog shit
I can't wait to sink on Brandon You're dog shit.
I can't wait to sink on Brandon's boat, dude.
Oh, man.
It's going to be great.
I might wear a wetsuit.
All of us just like with the pails.
I'm going to wear a surf shirt.
Of course you will.
We have to do this, though. I know. We got to do it. We got to hold our... We got to... I have to do it. I'm excited to wear a surf shirt. Of course you will. We have to do this, though.
I know.
We got to do it.
We have to do it.
I'm excited.
Yeah.
I mean, I think we have these special yaks that are sponsored that we can easily do this for.
A high noon show from my house. The gang sinks a boat.
Yeah.
My boat will be fine.
What is... There's no way. My boat will be fine what is there's no way my boat will be fine it's a big
boat it's a three-seater yeah but there's 10 of us and we're not i am we're not small all of us
no you're gonna have to have somebody in the back well we'll have to be considerate of how we stack the boat. Right. Yeah.
No. No.
It's just going to be random. Okay. I don't think
we're realizing just how much this
sucks for these guys. They have to take
apart this course. Oh, it looks miserable.
It's taking a long time. I know.
How long did it take to construct?
A couple days. It's shocking.
This cost us $4 million.
Yeah.
Two episodes of wake up mincy
yeah
we were able to
make it back
well we had to do it
there's no
mini golf courses
in chicago
that's true
where are we storing
all this shit
uh
I don't know
we're keeping
three holes
please tell me
we're keeping the cock
oh of course
we're keeping
we're keeping
the three cocks
yeah hello don't even take it just leave it there forever yeah Please tell me we're keeping the cock. Oh, of course we're keeping the cock. We're keeping the three cocks.
Hello.
Don't even take it.
Just leave it there forever.
Just part of the basketball.
Yeah.
Rick slept there last night.
Brandon.
All right.
Good show, everyone. Yep.
One of the greatest games ever.
And Brandon Walker, happy birthday.
We love you.
Love you very much.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Appreciate it.
Appreciate it.
I hope you have a wonderful birthday.
I am.
Maybe put your condom on before you get home.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Bring that seduction kit home.
You thinking?
You thinking?
Now, one thing I know, if I know my wife, she would love to go through my car and find a ripped condom pack.
It would really make her day.
And you can't explain it.
We were just wearing them on the air, just soft.
Me and Luke wore one.
All right, spin the one. All right.
Spin the wheel.
Everyone, please subscribe.
Oh, this actually...
Also, happy birthday to Jerry After Dark's Ryan and...
And Mikey Betts.
Mikey Betts.
Ryan and Mikey Betts.
And my dad.
Happy birthday.
And your dad.
And Tim Hitchings.
I'll tell you what.
Tim Hitchings would have had a fart for us yesterday.
Easily.
Yeah, he would have.
100% would have had a fart for us.
He's loaded.
Yeah. He keeps that thing on him like you bet it's long dick style ryan and mr hitching
long dick style ryan pass out guy he's a pass out guy pass out guy all-time pass out guy
i love ryan because r Ryan just gives me like Just like unnecessary compliments
Because he's just such a nice guy
He's the man
Like I finished yesterday and he's like
You did great out there
No I really didn't
But thank you
You imploded
Yeah no I was terrible
But he was just like you really did great
He's a great guy
He might be the best hype man in the office
Yeah When he cheers on Jerry I get pumped Shea did that to us after the front nine Terrible, but he was just like, you really did great. He's a great guy. He is. He might be the best hype man in the office. Yeah.
Yeah.
When he cheers on Jerry, I get pumped.
Shea did that to us after the front nine when we all sucked, and he was like, great front
nine, guys.
And me, Chaps, and Smitty were like, no, we were bad.
You just want us to-
He meant great front nine by me, guys.
Yeah.
Doing the fist bumps.
All right.
Oh, what is that?
Oh, yeah.
It's a big glass radio room, what is that? Oh, yeah.
Glass radio room.
And I just heard somebody, only one person in there go, oh, you.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit. I mean classic KB for you
I was saying
it was a genuine reaction
you thought that that was like
an excuse
I meant it
oh this crew the best An excuse. I meant it. This crew.
The best.
All right.
See you, everyone.
Hope you have a great weekend.
See you on Monday.
See you on Monday. It's the act.
It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to talk shop and do a Yankee swap.
It's the act.
It's the act. Scooby-Dooby-Doo
Looking for you
Yes, that's right, Scooby.
Happy birthday to Mikey Betts.
You know, he's the brains behind the show.
He gets the videos out.
He gets all the everything pumping.
And we want to wish him a happy birthday.
Mikey, I wouldn't have this job without you,
and I wouldn't have my sanity without you.
I love you.
Thank you for dealing with Frank every day.
Yeah. have a good weekend guys love you bye happy birthday brandon and my dad and
mikey betts and ryan from jerry after dark and everybody else whose birthday it is see you later