The Yak - Happy Shohei Ohtani Day! | The Yak 8-3-23

Episode Date: August 3, 2023

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up. Hey. Konnichiwa, motherfucker. Ichi, ni, san, shi. Welcome to the yak. Is this seven and a half, bro? Is that not? I don't know. That's what it says. You need to the yak. Is it seven and a half, bro? Is that not?
Starting point is 00:00:47 I don't know. That's what it says. You need to lit it. Oh, shit. Damn, I didn't see those, Kyle. I was looking for that one. That one's kind of swaggy. It's a little big.
Starting point is 00:00:58 That's swaggy. That one's sick. Welcome to the yak. It's the long-awaited Shohei Otani day. And we brought out all the fucking stops. One thing. What? Francis, you were on yesterday's show.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Where's your gear? You know, to be honest with you, I didn't think any of you were serious. I never know what's real. I thought there was a high chance that you'd be like, we're doing a Shohei Ohtani show. I would go to the MLB store, buy a bunch of stuff, and show up, and none of you would be in costume whatsoever. The exact opposite happened. Yeah. Well, again, I'll leave.
Starting point is 00:01:36 I don't want to be the black sheep. Not at all, brother. Shohei Ohtani is. You just have to sip on it more. Want to rock this lid? I already got a shirt. Yeah, I'd love that. Want to rock this lid? I already got a shirt. Yeah, yeah. I'd love that.
Starting point is 00:01:47 Let him rock this. Yeah, there we go. And then you're... I don't know if I've ever seen you in a cap. I'll put a cap on. No, he golfs in caps. So welcome to the show. Long-awaited Shohei Otani day.
Starting point is 00:01:59 And for the uninitiated, you might be wondering, why are we celebrating Shohei Otani? Well, maybe because he's the best baseball player of all time. And people can't even comprehend. Shohei, let's go. That's not Che.
Starting point is 00:02:16 Sho-Che Otani. Holy fuck. He is, I think, and we might have to bring in a baseball expert just off the top to verify this, that he is the best baseball player of all time because of his ability to pitch and his ability to hit for power. And, I mean, it's unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:02:39 None of us watch baseball. I was watching his Japan highlights this morning. He hit a home run through the ceiling of the baseball stadium. There was a hole in the ceiling. What the fuck? I didn't even know that was possible. And it was probably a wrought iron stealing. He probably hit it smoking through a tin roof.
Starting point is 00:03:00 The utmost respect to Shohei Otani and mostly a respect to Japanese culture, a culture that I don't think we ever celebrate on this show. And I think that's wrong of us. I'd like to put my hand up and say that I'm sorry for it. And to atone for that, we've brought an array of different Japanese snacks. Big shout out, TJ. Snacks. Waited in line with I can't imagine what type of people waiting in line for the Japanese candy store to open.
Starting point is 00:03:29 Who was it? What type of bros was it? It was just me. That makes a lot more sense. But he's got the Bing Bang. He's got the shaved ice bar. He has some strange peanuts. High chews.
Starting point is 00:03:43 Some drinks. The sodas are good. We should all pop those. If you've never experienced popping a marble on one of those things, it's very exciting. These marble sodas. And the one thing that you should be popping on is some Ro-Bak for sure. And Shohei Otani Day today is brought to you by our official partner, Ro-Bak.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Summer's in full swing, and if you're going to a California Angels of Anaheim game, you're going to want to be wearing some rowback, a nice pair of rowback pants, pairs perfectly with a Shohei Otani jersey or shirzy, and a nice, you know, a golf shirt or a hat that you could throw on or even a hoodie. These are all going to be premium pieces that you could throw on your body. Cover up those legs with the Otani, or you could just cover them up with some Roback slacks.
Starting point is 00:04:33 You can use code YAK on Roback.com, 20% off your first purchase through the end of the week. That's spelled R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, 20% off polos, hoodies, shorts, and more with code YAK. Kyle, how much money did you spend this morning? $600. I'm kidding. No.
Starting point is 00:04:52 Not a crazy amount. And I was researching. I wanted to bring maybe a lighthearted, humorous segment. And as I was researching, going through his stats, his facts, I got goosebumps. There's nothing to even laugh about. It's awe-strucken by this man. What's that? Was it like pitching totals or power numbers?
Starting point is 00:05:14 A lot, a lot. He's leading the AL in triples as we speak. Triples? Yeah. And he also, I mean, he hits for power. Triples is a speed stat usually. What luck. He's pitching today.
Starting point is 00:05:26 Really? Yeah. Oh, man. Go to the Barstool Sportsbook and he's going to show the Mariners. Load up on Otani. He hits a home run. Last I saw, it was once every 9.4 at-bats. Yeah, he leads the league in that.
Starting point is 00:05:41 He leads the league in slugging percentage, I think. Extra base hits, home runs. So it's like if you watch— That's just batting. If you watch two Shohei Otani games back-to-back, you're probably going to see a home run. Yeah, that's the status. Statistically.
Starting point is 00:05:55 You know, if he's getting five at-bats a game, you're going to see—maybe that's a longer game, but there's a good chance that you're going to see Shohei Otani exercising some of that power. But he also, 102 miles an hour on a fastball is nothing to sneeze at, Francis. No, no. Pretty impressive velocity. And a lot of speed on that ball.
Starting point is 00:06:18 We talk about the speed. It's speedy. It's speed. Let's do a sake shot to speed of it. Speaking of four bottles of sake. Get that going. Let's get a bottle back there. Me and Rowan brought in the same bottle,
Starting point is 00:06:36 and Ken Jack goes up to me and goes, that's white man sake. Shut the fuck up. Of course. And it is. We won't say what brand it is, but it is a shit. And it's the most expensive one. Like, I was just trying to, like, ball out sake-wise for the boys.
Starting point is 00:06:50 The other shit was, like, apple-flavored. So, yeah, let's give it a shot. Not the white man one. That's not the white man one. We'll go with this other unnamed bottle. We'll give one of the white man ones to Che. Catch. Are you going to throw that in the microwave?
Starting point is 00:07:08 Sake should be served at 105 degrees Fahrenheit. You're talking about the glove, which is also a tactic I used to do. Is it? Yeah, loosen it up. I was trying to trap Che because, as it turns out, the idea of serving sake at hot temperatures is actually a misconception, and you're not actually supposed to drink it hot. When did you find that out? Mind you, your safari is open right now.
Starting point is 00:07:32 Not from there. Here I was reading about the declining birth rate in Japan and what reasons it has, why that's been happening. They need to loosen up on immigration and maybe tourism as well. Well, it's that as well as these following factors uh working the cost of working a lack of public tolerance for small children whoa i love that it's like new york city coming right that's pretty good um the lack of marital prospects uh bleak bleak job prospects corporate cultures that are incompatible with both parents, and the shyness of men, their fear of rejection in Japanese dating culture has led to basically
Starting point is 00:08:14 a complete standoff between the opposite sexes. Well, it's also led to a complete lack of predatory behavior and creeps. We're all straight shooters over there. I think that we're going to be careful throughout this show to not cast any negative aspersions on Japan. Follow the way of Bushido. It's a culture, so there are
Starting point is 00:08:33 negative parts about every type of culture. We've all made mistakes. They don't have garbage cans in public. They take their garbage home with them. My grandfather served in the Pacific Theater against them, and I'll tell you what, I carry that with me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:49 He was Admiral Kincaid's flag lieutenant, and we have a picture of him marching through the bogs and the dirty trenches of the Pacific Islands fighting the Japanese who were cutthroat. Oh, yeah, they're good. They're great fighters. You know what they would do, even as we island hopped from one island to the next, is they would have a couple of guys in a foxhole
Starting point is 00:09:14 put up their hands in surrender, and then our Marines would come over to sort of put handcuffs on them or whatever, and then just as they came over and stood over, there'd be two other guys who would then shoot our Marines. To Shohei Otani. To Shohei Otani. To Shohei Otani, the great baseball player.
Starting point is 00:09:30 Sure. Cheers to Shohei. If you make a face, seppuku. Oh, I do not want this, but I'll have it. Is it strong? No, not at all. It's wine. It's wine.
Starting point is 00:09:44 It's wine. It's wine. It's wine. It's not a shot. I don't know. Did you take a shot or are you sick? I took a shot, but it's rice wine. Did you guys finish yours? Yes. But it's made in the same way as beer is made, I believe.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Let's do another. To Kyle. To Kyle. Kyle, what bowl is that? Oh. Oh. Sass is chasing sake with Red Bull. As the Japanese intended.
Starting point is 00:10:09 Kyle, who could have ever signed that? Shout out to Courtney from Massapequa, a Yak listener. He took the train in from the middle of Long Island to give me this Shohei signed ball. He gave it to you as a gift? I gave him a little. He gave you a Shohei signed ball? I paid him a little bit. That has to be very expensive.
Starting point is 00:10:28 Look at this. He's going to win the MVP and get about... In Japanese, too, which is rare, I guess. What the fuck? Big shout out, Courtney. That's really sick. How much did you pay for that? I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:10:39 I signed that. Dude, I believed you so much because you was like a girl's dad. Yeah, I tried to really sell it Look at the strokes Look at the fucking Imagine if that were Shohei's signature How long it would take him
Starting point is 00:10:56 And then just number 17 underneath Oh what a glorious day it is Shohei Otani. Shohei. I just poured myself a doozy. Francis, did you know you were drinking today? No, I didn't. I said, you look good in a hat, pal.
Starting point is 00:11:13 Signed up for a workout class. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Sapuku. I got a sapuku. I just made a tiny face. I'm sapukuing before I even... Sapuku means kill yourself. Yeah, I know. I sap seppuku-ing before I even... Seppuku means kill yourself.
Starting point is 00:11:25 Yeah, I know. I seppuku'd this morning. Doesn't it specifically mean to disembowel yourself? You sit on the sword. You lay on the sword, right? Yeah, you kind of go on the knees and just... You go into your gut. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:40 Go into your gut and you slice your innards open. Let's talk about Logan Paul now. Yeah. He's been to Japan. Let's talk about Japanese culture. Let's talk about Logan Paul now. Yeah. He's been to Japan. Let's talk about Japanese culture. Let's talk about Logan Paul's famous trip to Japan. Now, isn't it the case, too, that when you seppuku, when you do that, and if you've served nobly, well, I guess the reason you do it is to be noble, right?
Starting point is 00:12:05 But if they believe that you are doing it for the right reasons or that you've done it quickly enough or something like that, they will then finish the killing for you. All your boys will come help kill you. Yeah, they'll put you out of your misery because it's incredibly painful to stab yourself in the stomach. Very honorable. Yeah. I would kill you guys. For sure. Then Hiroshi is when they die from working themselves to death.
Starting point is 00:12:31 Which is probably more honorable. Which is also the inverse of Okinawa Island, where they are very happy and live long, fulfilling lives with lots of leisure. A lot of the guys working don't even make it home because the trains stop at like 9. So they go out in front of their office, sleep in a bush, wake up, go back into work. In a bush? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Is that right? I thought it was because drinking and corporate culture in Japan are so intertwined.
Starting point is 00:12:58 Yeah, I might be drinking. That guys will go out after work and get so fucked up that they end up sleeping on park benches in full suits. And they just go right back into work. Exactly. And no one even bothers them. Like, the police don't tell them, shoo. And their satchels will be filled with thousands of dollars worth of technology. Nobody will touch it out of respect.
Starting point is 00:13:15 That's cool. God, can they make steel. Fold it 10,000 times. Strong. You guys are really emptying the clip on your facts. You guys want to slow down. No slow play. You guys are going to want to slow down. slow play You guys are going to want to slow down
Starting point is 00:13:25 I know You're going to want to slow down We're getting excited For this day since first grade Yeah I got a handful And I'm looking I mean I could have chimed in here
Starting point is 00:13:33 But I'm playing the long game You're going to sprinkle Nick dropped the game earlier You want to have the last fact Everyone wants the last fact I got Japanese facts for days Now Does Japan not have any natural resources?
Starting point is 00:13:43 Damn it Nick Another Oh fuck facts for days. Now, does Japan not have any natural resources? Damn it, Nick! Something funny about Japan, actually, is that they have the most elaborate toilets on Earth. Really? I don't know if you guys are familiar with this. How do you judge elaboration? The elaborate toilets, not only do they have a bidet, but they also have an air dryer to dry the asshole. You can change the temperature of the water in the... The water that you're shitting into?
Starting point is 00:14:09 The water that's spraying your ass. And most of the toilets have an option to play music to cover up the sounds of your explosive diarrhea. Fantastic. Very interesting. To Japan! Japan! Japan! I need another one.
Starting point is 00:14:28 Oh, yeah. I'm going to need a little more of that sake. We have to get out of here at 2.45 today. Why? There's a movie booked in this room. With who? Better be Ichiro Suzuki. It's like the Ichiro Suzuki of Seaside Heights, New Jersey.
Starting point is 00:14:47 Where's the This is Kendrick Said this is the good shit And he knows Sam, Sam, Sam Sam, Sam, Sam Why do we want him to sip? I think that we should be
Starting point is 00:15:02 Corralling people in here to get sips off I think that this should be corralling people in here to get sips off. I think that this should be a very corralled show. And after Sam, we're going to need to get a Meek Phil or a type of baseball mind. I had Meeks manage your clear schedule if you want him to. Sam, could you grab that cup? Grab that cup, would you? Grab that cup.
Starting point is 00:15:24 We'll get you a little bit of sake. It's Shohei Otani Day. Of course, you're representing another California team, but what's something you respect? No, no, no. He's representing the kaiju of Japan, giants. Now, Sam, do you prefer Harry Beaver or Shaven Poon? Say it into the mic. I'd have to take the former, I think. Shaven? No, the former would be Harry Poon. Say it into the mic. I'd have to take the former, I think.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Javen? No, the former would be Harry Poon. Oh, yeah, yeah, Harry Poon. I kind of forgot the order. Well, you said former, which was very specific. The latter. The latter. The latter.
Starting point is 00:15:57 Yeah. Well, the reason I say is because I think it is a little more customary to leave the private parts unshorn in Japan. I've got to go do some frosting. Speaking of Harry, President Harry S. Truman only had a couple of months in office after the demise of FDR before he was forced to make the decision to drop the bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Sam, wow. Wow, Sam.
Starting point is 00:16:30 What did you learn about Japan at Lehigh? Not much. Oh. Not much. I can't think of anything. There's got to be something in there. What do you know about Japan? Can you name two Japanese cities?
Starting point is 00:16:46 Hiroshima and Nagasaki. That'll work. That'll work. Why'd you pick those? Just, I don't know. Top of mind. All right. Do you mind if I go?
Starting point is 00:16:55 Did you finish your sake? I apologize. Austin's on my back. Finish the sake, though. Finish the sake. On the hatch. Austin's not going to like that. Big thing on the job. Get him another going to like that. Drinking on the job.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Get him another one. Get him another one. Two sakes, I feel like, is appropriate. Japanese culture. Remember, if you don't do two sips of sake. Is sake more like vodka or wine? It's kind of both. It's more like wine.
Starting point is 00:17:20 Kind of both. What's its proof? 15%? That's wine. It's more wine than... Made with rice, but the process of making it is more similar to beer. Oh, interesting. All right, well, happy Shohei Otani Day.
Starting point is 00:17:34 I'm down the hatch. Do you follow him on Instagram? I will now. Let's try to raise awareness. We're going to get that up. So I walked into the office today dressed like this, and Che goes, oh, let me take a picture. He took it, and he said, I just sent that to Mike Trout. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:17:48 Wow. He did. Mike Trout. You did? What did Mike say? I have an ask out for Shohei to endorse his show. We don't need that. That would help.
Starting point is 00:17:59 I mean, it would help. That would be great. That would be nice. That's not why we're doing it, though. I don't want people to think we're trying to get Shohei's attention. It would be cool. It would boost morale, for sure. It would be cool. We would be nice. That's not why we're doing it, though. I don't want people to think we're trying to get show. It would be cool. It would boost morale for sure. It would be cool.
Starting point is 00:18:07 You don't need his attention. You want his attention, though. You might not need it. You should have far more followers than six million on Instagram. This is very American. Six million, and we're trying to get him up on a number? Let's get him up. But that's so low.
Starting point is 00:18:19 Like, how many does Ronaldo have? Let's get him to 6.1. Rhea, please, please. Please come take a shot. Of Sake. Sake shots, please. Please come take a shot. Of sake. Sake shots, please. Otani Day. It's similar to wine. Please, please. Ria, how are you? I'm great. How are you guys?
Starting point is 00:18:34 Would you like a Japanese candy? I love that soda. Have some, please. Guys, I got somewhere to be. You're our guests, Ria. Please. Be comfortable. You can make time for whoever. Where do you have to be? They could come in here and celebrate. I don't know if I'm going to do that.
Starting point is 00:18:51 Okay, fair enough. You guys didn't have this ready? He had finished. Sam finished. He guzzled. He finished the other one. Ria, what's your favorite thing about Japan? I've never been, but I would say food. In pop culture maybe
Starting point is 00:19:05 good answer the food is really good there apparently they have a special dish specifically for sumo wrestlers who is there but I'm very keen to do you want to go with me
Starting point is 00:19:13 next summer I would love that let's make a plan the issue is the wife wants to go it's wine it's like a shot of wine oh okay
Starting point is 00:19:19 cheers cheers to Shohei Otani to you Rhea for showing your respect let's get it. Quite nice. All of it.
Starting point is 00:19:28 You have to drink all of it. Nice rice wine. Let's get it. Land of the Rising Sun. Thanks, guys. Thank you. Yeah, anytime. Come on back after meeting.
Starting point is 00:19:39 We'll have another shot of rice wine. Probably won't, but let's get it. That audio's fucking me up. Yeah, it's very weird. Yeah, I liked it, though. it. That audio's fucking me up. Yeah, it's very weird. It's eerie. Yeah, I liked it, though. But Mike, look at him go.
Starting point is 00:19:50 Did we get him up yet? Oh, he's at 5.8. Let's get him to 5.9 or 6. What is he at? Hmm. What? What are you seeing, Harry? I just wanted to know what his exact numbers were. Are there any shirtless pictures of Shohei Otani available?
Starting point is 00:20:03 He's jacked. Is he jacked? Yes. Well, that's what I would like Otani available? He's jacked. Is he jacked? Yes. Well, that's what I would like to see. But he's very mysterious. His hobbies, who he dates, nobody knows. What about that video of him deadlifting there?
Starting point is 00:20:15 Can we just see how many plates he's got on that? His favorite baseball players. Oh, my God. Additionally, big asses. Yes. I don't love that curve in that back, though. Let's straighten that out. He's straightening it out. There we go.
Starting point is 00:20:25 And there's no belt there. Wow. Wow. All right, so that's a one rep max there. Favorite U.S. city is Seattle. I think they have a large Japanese population. Probably do. Maybe the climate's even similar.
Starting point is 00:20:39 They do. I believe Seattle was a place where we held a lot of Japanese prisoners of war during the war. It was something fun. No, I don't want that. I prefer to keep them down. Looky there. Oh, my God. And I'm sorry to Rui.
Starting point is 00:21:03 Sincerest apologies. Is there only room for one? It's just such a wide gap. Yeah. When it comes to my passion and worship. You worship Otani that much more. I think he's the most skilled man alive. Yeah, we've had two guests who seemed reticent to be in here,
Starting point is 00:21:24 but I think that we need to get Meek Phil in here to properly contextualize how damn good Shohei Otani is right now and the fact that we're in the midst of greatness. I feel like a little bit ago, maybe a couple months ago, we talked about what things are in their golden era right now. What things are we in the midst of where it's the best of all time of them? I think it could be Shohei. I think that we could be watching the best baseball player of all time as far as raw skill and you know condensed productivity just how much he's producing on both sides of the ball i mean talk about his wins above replacement they're fucking incredible
Starting point is 00:22:01 shocking shocking and they're his next contract people are estimating he's going to be about $650 million over 14 years. Not bad. Not bad at all. Meek Phil. Meek Phil, please take a shot of sake. Meek Phil's a huge boobs guy. Here you go, brother. You like boobs?
Starting point is 00:22:17 He loves them. I think Meek Phil, you're a horny on the timeline guy, right? Yeah, super horny. I've seen you throw out a couple responses here and there. Great set. Good? Good work. I'll let you know.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Good. What's up, fellas? Meek? Meek, so we're having trouble because we don't know how to contextualize on a historical scale how good Shohei Otani truly is. We think we might be celebrating one of the best baseball players of all time. Is there any merit to that idea? Yes, because no one's ever done what he's done in the history of baseball.
Starting point is 00:22:54 So is it fair to say he's underrated, underappreciated? We've talked just about this. We did give a comparison in NFL terms. Mahomes and Jalen Ramsey. Yes. Combined as the same player. You think, what's a counter-argument against Shohei Otani? What do his detractors say about him?
Starting point is 00:23:13 That he may not be able to do what he's doing for that long. Eventually, he will have to choose between pitching and hitting. And who is someone who played at his level or near his level for a long duration? Babe Ruth.? Babe Ruth. Not Babe Ruth. Not like this. He didn't pitch this well? I did read that he had more strikeouts in 2021 than Tony Gwynn had in the 90s.
Starting point is 00:23:36 Oh, my God. That maybe is... What, at the plate you're talking? Oh, yeah, at the plate. Well, I mean, Tony Gwynn... Baseball players now strike out a lot more than they did back in the day. Yeah, they're swinging for power, right? Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:49 Guys don't care about strikeouts now these days. Back in, like, the 90s, if you struck out twice in a game, you'd probably get benched. Now it's just a normal day. Wow. Interesting. That's great insight. He's a much better pitcher than Babe Ruth was.
Starting point is 00:24:01 Yes, 100%. Better hitter? Yes. No. Yes. Are you kidding me? Oh, wow. That's what I was wondering. I'm glad you... Then I don't get it. He's a better hitter than Babe Ruth? Are we comparing Babe Ruth to his peers, or
Starting point is 00:24:13 if you pop Babe Ruth in his era? You can't measure how that would... So we're doing the first. We're comparing Babe Ruth to his era. Yeah, yeah. I guess. That's all we can do. How much better he was than the people at his time? Oh, well, okay. Babe Ruth was the best player of his generation, I guess.
Starting point is 00:24:30 Right? And is Otani the best player of his generation? Yeah. Interesting. Do you love him? Otani? I'll like him until he's a Dodger, probably. Who's a better hitter?
Starting point is 00:24:41 Shohei or Mike Trout? Trout's kind of, well, he's, Trout's injury prone now when he's injured. I'd say Otani. Holy shit. Hey, to Shohei Otani. Hey, Otani. I have an empty cup, so. I poured you some.
Starting point is 00:24:56 Oh, I drank it. Did you miss that? Give him another. It's a double day. It's a double header today. I didn't know what it was. I downed it in front of you. Was it good? Yeah. This one's a bit stronger. It me. It's a doubleheader today. I didn't know what it was. I just downed it in front of you. Was it good?
Starting point is 00:25:05 Yeah. This one's a bit stronger. It is. It is. But so is Shohei. Got to think about what we're doing this for, Nick. You're right. Cheers to Shohei.
Starting point is 00:25:19 To Shohei. Shohei. So what do you know about Japan, Meek? It's very far away. Okay. Good fact. Good to walk around there. Is there anything to do?
Starting point is 00:25:32 I've never been there. Would you go? I'd go with someone. I'd want to have a passport. Special someone? Someone I like. Not someone you love. So like a crush. I bet it's a very romantic trip
Starting point is 00:25:47 Oh the cherry blossom You don't think so? I said probably it is I think it is Yeah you go to the temples And the used panty vending machines I wouldn't go to any forest Penis festival perhaps
Starting point is 00:25:58 That's bad Any forest? There's gotta be some forest There's some forest out there That you wouldn't want to go in. That's just the one bad one. What if you're wearing the alien claw machine Toy Story? I would not do that.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Nicky, Nicky, Nicky. How do you recognize what a Japanese last name is as opposed to a Korean or Chinese last name, Meek Phil? Give us an example of a Chinese last name. I don't want to because... Why? That's not... That wouldn't be offensive. No, because I'm very bad with last names, so... What does that mean?
Starting point is 00:26:35 I don't know what that means at all. I mean, I know... Like, I'll know if the last name is Italian and has a vowel or Spanish. What's his last name again? I know he's a mite, but I just... I'm with last name. I think that the difference is that a lot of times Japanese names have three syllables.
Starting point is 00:26:57 Hideki Matsui. I've never noticed that. Ichiro Suzuki. I've never noticed that at all. Shohei Otani. I guess the Shohei is a little bit of an outlier. Do they all end in I? Every one you just named ended in I.
Starting point is 00:27:11 You'll get more ending in I in Japan. Kawasaki. Yeah. Milk. Milk. Why did you get milk? Why did you just get milk dropped off to you? You got milked?
Starting point is 00:27:23 Did you just get milked live on air? I got milked? Did you just get milked live on air? I got milked. What is getting milked? Yeah, I've never seen this. What is it? Winnie Harlow looking. I don't know. I got milked.
Starting point is 00:27:32 Why did he just bring milk in? Why did you get milked? What's that joke? Why are you keeping us out of the loop? When I was on Gotta Believe, what was it, two days ago? Yeah. I was in one of the conference rooms, and they just kept bringing me waters, waters, waters, and I was like, what's going on here?
Starting point is 00:27:45 And then eventually, security guard comes in and gives me milk. I'm like, I have all these fucking cups here. Hang on a minute. I don't know that that cleared it up. I'm significantly more confused. I'm confused, too, about it. Oh, is this you just live getting a bucket? Yeah, it's like a spin zone or something.
Starting point is 00:28:03 There's one cup. You don't have to drink it. Don't you think it'd be nice to have it? I started drinking one. We were all just sitting outside just like we got to find more people to bring them water. That's the caveat for Pete too. If we have two players that can hit 40 home runs a year. Projects to become a first baseman.
Starting point is 00:28:20 So again, I don't think they're making moves. We're moving Pete. But there are other things that work for that. You can slot him around. You pay a premium for getting to watch a year or two of them play minor league ball and know whether or not – what is the water? What does it mean? I don't get it.
Starting point is 00:28:39 It's all this milk. A traditional Japanese prank. Yes, yeah. Well, drink it, bro. You want me to down it? Down it. Is it dairy milk? Down it.
Starting point is 00:28:57 Yes, beast. Oh, yeah. Got a lot on you, man. It's way different to get beer on you. You just got Kyle lot on you, man. Just wait. They were to give beer on you. You just got Kyle Kuzma so hard. Yeah, you did. You got Jalen Brunson.
Starting point is 00:29:15 Francis, you know that's not an Angels hat you have on, right? No. Did you buy an Atlanta Braves hat? Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm new to the MLB. We're learning. We're all learning. It's okay. I would not wear that hat around Frank the Tank
Starting point is 00:29:25 politely. Okay. Beat your ass. Okay, I won't wear it around him. Especially on Tomahawk Chop with that hat on around him. Oh, man, I feel stupid. Wow.
Starting point is 00:29:33 Give him the shirt. You want the medium shirt? No, no. I'll wear the mead. Do you mind? No. You don't need it? How did we go
Starting point is 00:29:42 to the MLB store and not get a duplicate of a single item? I guess you got Brave stuff, but... Do they have every team? That place is a madhouse. Is it big? I've walked by it.
Starting point is 00:29:54 It's crowded as fuck. Oh, man. This is awesome. This is great. I have a traditional Japanese activity we could do. Are you serious? Yeah. Wait, so what's the difference between seppuku and harikari?
Starting point is 00:30:10 I don't know. It's not one of those, is it? That we're going to do? Yeah. No, it will be neither of those. Okay, perfect. It's a popular DVD sold in Japan. They do different sets.
Starting point is 00:30:22 It's called Japan World Cup. It's virtual horse racing that they're obsessed with. Damn, Francis. That medium fits you well. Yeah, you look great. They run large. Good shit. What the hell?
Starting point is 00:30:33 You look great. What the fuck? For a minute, I thought Nick wanted to watch the Pokemon episode that was aired in Japan to keep people's seizures. Yeah, that's right. Was that the Porygon episode? Yep, we have our Pokemon knowledge. Yeah, we's right. Was that the Porygon episode? Yep, we have our Pokemon knowledge. Yeah, we got it.
Starting point is 00:30:51 No, this is Japan World Cup. I love all of this. We all pick a horse. Whoever's horse comes in first assigns a drink. So this is it. These DVDs are very popular. And so let's all pick a horse when it starts. This is a great idea, Nick. To this idea. To this idea. To this idea.
Starting point is 00:31:08 Watch carefully here. You have to pick a horse. Yes. Is there an order that we pick it? They'll show all the horses and then... Should we put some points on this? No, let's do sippy sips. And I think we have enough for everybody to take a horse.
Starting point is 00:31:27 It's such a beautiful language. Beautiful language. Powerful. Alright. I want the seven. They'll show the horse. I get the first pick. You might want to see the horse. Horse number one. It's hard to beat that right off the bat. Alright, I'm going to go with horse
Starting point is 00:31:43 number one. Asa's taking horse horse number one It's a proud beast So Kyle's next a great-looking bird doesn't Kyle We'll just have people called dibs on the horse. They see okay ever says it first Wow sass has that horse I mean, I feel like mine mine. I want that one. I want to you horny motherfucker the Turned on you would like that You horny motherfucker. Holy shit. You got turned on. Yeah, you would like that, you coke-drinking motherfucker. Weirdo. That's the milkiest horse here.
Starting point is 00:32:09 I could hear the milk curdling in his throat. A little milk. Mine. Mine. Mine. That's milk. I want that one now. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:32:18 Look at that. Oh, look at that pompadour. I'll take it. That person. That's you, Nick. I'll take pompadour. That's the screams, Nick. What the shit is that?
Starting point is 00:32:23 Is that person paralyzed? That's a greaser. What is that Paul Brees, Nick. What the shit is that? Is that person paralyzed? That's a greaser. What is that? Low rider? Wheelchair? Shit. That horse is about to be snapping at your horses. Should this person be on a horse?
Starting point is 00:32:34 That's an essay. Oh, that's the longest torso you'll ever see. I'm thinking strictly speed. You do not want that. Who wants this? Who's taking this? I don't know. Yeah, you got to snag this up.
Starting point is 00:32:45 I'll take it for my grandfather. Take it for your grandfather. Yeah, for my grandfather. America. I'll take the four. I mean, you don't want two jockeys. I don't want that fucking cow. That's a bull.
Starting point is 00:32:59 That's a bull. No one's taking that. Someone has to. Zogetsu. Hi, everyone. That's no bull That helmet has horns on it Fat cow Oh yeah it has udders
Starting point is 00:33:12 Me Yes What flag is that? Kenya I think That's a good ass flag It's so peaceful It reminds me of the Swiss family Robinson treehouse Yeah, I think. That's a good-ass flag. It's so peaceful. It reminds me of the Swiss family Robinson treehouse.
Starting point is 00:33:31 All right. You see that moving? No, I haven't. You haven't seen it? Yeah, this is me. This is me. This is me. Very long neck.
Starting point is 00:33:40 Cheers to a good race, boys. Hold on. Should we determine the stakes? It's a shot. So the winner gives out a shot, picks someone to give a shot to. Okay. And then the person that comes in dead last has to take a shot. Okay. That's three men.
Starting point is 00:33:54 That's three men. I want this one. I want this one. Yeah, yeah. That's you. Number eight. So is everyone spoken for? TJ needs a horse.
Starting point is 00:34:01 That looks like a lot. I've seen them. So these DVDs are super popular. You can buy them on Amazon. They come with a ton of races. They show them in bars in Japan. Yeah. It looks like a llama from Fortnite.
Starting point is 00:34:11 All right, we have just enough. This must have been during COVID. There aren't many people at that stadium. All right. And is it usually like they win based on their aesthetic or it's completely random completely random I have to assume that Japan wins
Starting point is 00:34:29 most of the time I don't know man that's not how they do it they're honorable people they don't rig I'm gonna go out on a limb and say America definitely does not win let's go
Starting point is 00:34:39 this is the late prime minister Shinzo Abe who was recently assassinated. Killed. With a gun. Their only gun. He did it on a 3D printing machine. I'd like to give a shout out to Junji Ito.
Starting point is 00:34:52 To Junji. The master of Japanese drawn horror. Oh, yes, of course. And to Sunny Abe, a wrestling legend from the Pittsburgh. Oh, boys. Okay. Where's one?
Starting point is 00:35:02 Come on, seven. Come on, seven. Oh, one is fine. Two! I mean, it's a wrap. Oh, go pompadour. It's a wrap. Come on, seven.
Starting point is 00:35:11 Come on, America. Get up there. There goes America's making a move. Use them both. Zebra's making a move. America is making a move. Come on, America. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:35:22 That's bullshit. Fuck you guys. How would you pick that? That. Fuck you guys. Why would you pick that? That's actually three guys. That's actually three dudes. Oh! Oh! Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:35:36 Oh! It was hollow. Oh, Jay. Why would you pick them, Jay? All right, here comes seven. Here comes seven. Wow. No fucking way. That's an illusion. That's an illusion. Oh, it's the white horse, here comes seven. Here comes seven. Wow. No fucking way.
Starting point is 00:35:45 Oh, that's an illusion. That's an illusion. Oh, it's the white horse. Let's see. Go, two. Go. Go. Go, Phil.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Go. Go, America. Go. Go, America. Go. Go, America. Go. Push.
Starting point is 00:35:57 Push. Push. The zebra. Come on. What happened to one? There we go. I did one fall so far behind. I'm going.
Starting point is 00:36:07 Catch him, Francis. You cannot let me Phil win this. What's going on? Oh, no. Oh, no. Three on the outside. Oh, no. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:36:15 He's going crazy. Oh, no. Oh, no. You can't do that. Oh. He did. He did. What was that?
Starting point is 00:36:23 He's doing the gritty on us. What was that? He's doing the gritty on us. What was that? One just hit the gritty. Is that Sass? Yeah, Sass won. Che, you came back last century. That's a drink. Would you guys like to do another race?
Starting point is 00:36:38 Oh, my God, yes. Wait, wait, so who are... That was nonsensical. So who are you picking to give a shot to? Meek Phil, I guess. Yeah, Meek Phil probably. Yeah, Meek Phil. The honor.
Starting point is 00:36:50 Oh, my gosh. Who came in last? Jay. Oh, yeah, Jay. It was bisected. Well, that was good. That went better than I – So do we want to keep on picking dibs-wise,
Starting point is 00:37:07 or should we assign numbers, and then they come out and we're surprised? I love that. So everybody gets a number? One through eight. Maybe a wheel or something like that? Oh, yeah. For such a good idea, we should drink on that.
Starting point is 00:37:18 Oh. Respectfully. Respectfully. Respectful, respectful, inquisitive sound. Delightful. Delightful. What great culture they have. What is that street that they have in Japan where everything is right on top of each other?
Starting point is 00:37:41 Little restaurants and maybe six to eight streets. So cool. That made me want to go. It really makes you want to go. Is Tokyo the only technical megacity in the world? It is. If you're saying so. No, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:37:56 What defines a megacity? It's like 40 plus million, which is more than the entire state of California. But it also stretches out very large. Bigger than Canada. Wow. Tokyo. Oh, I see. But it's very large an area, though.
Starting point is 00:38:12 Like how much bigger than New York? I don't know for sure. Maybe double the size. All right. I have a question, Kyle. And I don't know if you can answer this. But if one were to visit Japan, what is the trip? I don't know if you can answer this but if one were to visit Japan what is the trip I don't know anything about
Starting point is 00:38:28 tourism nothing what's the trip what does it look like where do you go you know I don't know if you're not if you're not just trying to do the most basic shit and you want to have some kind of a is it Tokyo and then Kyoto that seems to be what people do that it I would try to go for a couple weeks just
Starting point is 00:38:44 to if you're that close to like, I guess Australia or something like that, can't be a long flight. You'd probably try to knock both those out. Philippines, South Korea,
Starting point is 00:38:51 Vietnam. Zav, you been to Japan? You're pretty well traveled. That's the last part of the world that I haven't been to. The far, far, far east.
Starting point is 00:38:59 Yeah. Donnie's here today. He spent some time there. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. We'll send him in after. Stay for one more race. Stay for one more race. Stay for one more race.
Starting point is 00:39:07 What's a good way that we can incorporate the wheel to pick our numbers? The first part. Yeah, who it lands on is one. Yeah. Perfect. Who it lands on is one or who it lands on gets to pick. I think that's too confusing. We get surprised by what our horse or horse-esque animal is.
Starting point is 00:39:23 I believe it's the same horses for this next race. Can we go just to another race? Stand by. Stand by. Stand by. Standing by. I'll be. No, but if it's...
Starting point is 00:39:32 Yeah, I don't know if the... And do they win the same? No, all the races are pretty different. Different things happen from what I've seen. I'm very curious about some of these snacks in the middle here. Have you guys ever had this pop? Oh, no. I've seen. I'm very curious about some of these snacks in the middle here. Have you guys ever had this pop? Oh, no. I've seen it. So it has a marble in the top.
Starting point is 00:39:51 Shout out to TJ. Went and picked up 10. You push down on the lid and it shoots the flavor into the drink. And it's also a marble that stops it from spilling if you tip it over. Yeah. EJ. Arigato. Why did that sound like that?
Starting point is 00:40:05 Arigato. They are similar. Everything ends in a vowel. Arigato. Otani. Shohei Otani. Soma sushi. Similar shaped countries.
Starting point is 00:40:19 Same horse characters for all of these races. Different endings. I got a quick plug for you. Tokyo Vice with Ansel Elgort came out, I think, a year ago. And a lot of people didn't see it. I thought it was spectacular. I hadn't heard of it. Ansel Elgort was canceled.
Starting point is 00:40:36 I believe they stifled the marketing. What? Is that real? Cancel Elgort. From the term jalapeno cheddar. It was a really good show though I know the sound that's coming out of that mouth Do they typically eat cheese? I believe
Starting point is 00:41:00 Jalapeno cheese These are fire I can't believe... Taz? Pino cheese. These are fire. The pink ones are... Wow, they're so good. I can't pass this. The pink ones are shrimp. One of us has to get up. You gotta get up.
Starting point is 00:41:13 I switched seats with you. That was bothering me. That's true. I owed you that. The pink ones are shrimp. The green is matcha. Ice cream flavored. There's ice pops that are probably melting.
Starting point is 00:41:24 Oh, yeah. Some sort of corn thing on the right, and then haichus. Now, does America's take on Japanese cuisine, is that accurate to actual Japan? That's a great question. I know that eating raw fish has been part of their culture for millennia.
Starting point is 00:41:41 That's definitely ingrained. I assume that Philadelphia cream cheese and tempura fried shrimp and shit like that might be our addition. I don't know. But tempura sounds like one of their words, not one of our words. It's very interesting.
Starting point is 00:41:54 A lot of people don't know that Japan was actually a vegetarian country for damn near 2,000 years. Really? Flavor these crab? Shrimp or prawn, maybe? I don't think I want them. I like them.
Starting point is 00:42:04 I don't think I want these pink chips. They're just salty. A little fishy. How are they, Meek? 6.6. That's true. So I think how we should do it is we should spin, and the first person it lands on should get one.
Starting point is 00:42:22 If they're the same horses. Agreed. First person it lands on should get one. If they're the same horses. Agreed. First person it lands on should get one. TJ, is there another video with different horses? I could see if there's another one of the sets online. But the races are drastically different. Okay, yeah, let's do it. Perfect, perfect.
Starting point is 00:42:38 So let's not go with one. No, this sucks if you get one. If it lands on you, then this sucks. Nope, sucks for KB. Sorry, KB. Sorry, Kyle. Sucks for KB. Sucks for KB.
Starting point is 00:42:52 Sucks for KB. Sucks for Francis. Not necessarily. You really don't know. That's a bad one. You're a fucking bad one. You're a fucking bad one. That's a really bad one. I'm having so much fun.
Starting point is 00:43:08 You're going to have to get more sake. Yes. Shut up. You do not want to be three. Shut up. Shove off. A three has never won a Japan World Cup. Ever.
Starting point is 00:43:25 Great. Great number. Ever. Great. Great number. I'll take four. I miscalled you Mook. You could understand the confusion. Mook's the smallest. It's his Vietnamese name. Oh.
Starting point is 00:43:39 What is that? Four? Five? Five for Zaha. All right, Zaha. I feel good about that. Don't tell me you're putting me in the sixth slot. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:43:53 Yay. Six. It's going to be the men again. Honestly, I'm thinking seven and eight. Those are the hot ones for this race. And I was thinking eight might be a little bit hotter than 7. A little tiny bit hotter. But good luck.
Starting point is 00:44:08 Best of luck, guys. Know whatever happens. Still all love. And 8. 8 for Sass. Gentlemen, to a good, clean race. To an honorable race. Honorable race.
Starting point is 00:44:21 Honorable race. We all race with honor. Like Shohei Otani would play for the Angels. Shohei Otani also leads the Angels in pretty much every category, but also stolen bases, so he can run, too. Yeah, triple. The fact that, I just wonder what it is. What did his parents do that he has such... His mother was a professional badminton player.
Starting point is 00:44:43 Huge over there. Yeah, and his dad was, he was just an amateur baseball player. I heard that there's not a lot of grassy fields and any grass that there is in Japan you generally want to keep off of because they have such respect for the gardening and the aesthetics of it.
Starting point is 00:45:01 So a lot of people are driven towards baseball because you don't necessarily need the field like you would if you were a soccer-playing nation. That's a tidbit. That's not a heavy-hitting fact. The facts don't hit as hard without tidbits betwixt. It's the lettuce and the tomato.
Starting point is 00:45:18 If you want to ask a Japanese baseball player for a ball, you say Choto, proto-nagete, could you say? Oh, wow. Hell yeah. DJ. Yo. That was insane. Wait, wait. One more time? Yeah. Choto broto nagete kurise.
Starting point is 00:45:33 Choto broto nagete kurise. You got that so fast. That was amazing. That was premium. Fatball guy taught me. Choto broto... What's the last end of it? Nagete kurise. Nagete kurise. Nagete kurise. Choto broto nagete kurise. Whoa, Saz, that was What's the last end of it? Nagate kudase. Nagate kudase. Nagate kudase. Choto proto nakate kudase.
Starting point is 00:45:48 Whoa, that was good, dude. Choto proto nakate kudase. The way that they make it, they use the manly as part of their voice, makes this shit sound so much fucking cooler. Choto proto nakate kudase. Oh, shit. Not good?
Starting point is 00:46:08 Good. Let me get a nibble. Let me get a nibble. Shaved ice bar. What's the flavor? It's pink. It is pink. It might be bubble gum. You said it looks pink.
Starting point is 00:46:17 What if I told you it was? Phil said it looks pink. It looks pink. It's not wrong. Yeah, I guess it does. I wonder what color it actually is. Yeah, it just looks pink. If you taste it, it's blue.
Starting point is 00:46:39 It has a chocolate center. That was embarrassing. It doesn't matter. No one saw it and it's Shohei Itani Day so it's up. Shall we race? Get 50% of your hits.
Starting point is 00:46:52 Oh, those are glass? I did not think those were glass. You had a there's a little bit of a learning curve to opening those. It's kind of exciting.
Starting point is 00:47:00 They're difficult to open. All right, try to open that, Francis. There's an action to opening it. They're American proof. Yeah. So what is the Japanese general opinion of Americans?
Starting point is 00:47:10 Low. Yeah. I would imagine. Like everyone hates Americans. It's a guess. I know China's low. What about the, are they, do they have racial feelings or is it nationalistic feelings? Jingoistic feelings.
Starting point is 00:47:22 I don't know. I don't want to speak on them. Interesting. I'm so curious. I would say I mean Like if they think they're above us, it might be impossible for us to make fun of them.
Starting point is 00:47:35 No, Nick. No. Yeah, there you go. And then you just smash that down. Smash it! Oh! Nick to Nick To Nick To Nick Francis
Starting point is 00:47:47 Struggling Not over the white pants brother Just the small part Francis We're gonna be seeing your bundle Nope This is just the small part Francis Just the small part And then you smash that down
Starting point is 00:48:01 Smash it in but not over your pants There you go Nope Just a small part, and then you smash that down. Smash it in, but not over your pants. There you go. Nope. Oh. Oh. Oh. No, Shoya Ohtani only gets on bass like this. Hey.
Starting point is 00:48:13 Oh, there you go. There you go. Does that say the thing? What? Shota Broto Nuggety to say it. Oh, yeah. I've already forgot it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:23 Tough to remember. It is. It's 85 syllables to be like ball please Spanish I was gonna wear some Spanish but I was like
Starting point is 00:48:33 will that be disrespectful I was gonna wear the Eric Burns jersey from the A's they don't want to be disrespectful Shohei actually knows Spanish so he is fluent
Starting point is 00:48:40 obviously what doesn't he know in Japanese he speaks some he speaks some English and some Spanish, but he speaks through an interpreter for media stuff. That's interesting.
Starting point is 00:48:49 I remember in the World Baseball Classic, when they were facing USA, he gave a speech to the Japan team. He was like, if you respect them, we will not beat them. Fire! Unless we forget what he did, he struck out Mike Trout to win the championship. He didn't respect his teammate.
Starting point is 00:49:05 Wow. His translator in Japan is a celebrity in his own right for just being his translator. Oh, 100%. Hell yeah. That's so sick. He deserves it. Their best sport is baseball. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:16 But they also really respect the martial arts, karate. Yeah, women's wrestling, freestyle, very good. Sumo. Ju-ji-tsu. Oh. Is that them? No, that's probably them. Isestyle. Very good. Sumo. Ju Jitsu. Is that them? No, that's probably them. Is that Israel? Should we do this race?
Starting point is 00:49:32 Let's do this race. I respect the hell out of their culture. We've got to get over there. Just so we don't disrespect. To a good, clean race. Everyone remember your... What's everyone's number? I think I'm three.
Starting point is 00:49:43 I'm four. I'm seven. Sass, eight. I think I'm three. I'm four. I'm seven. Sass, eight. Two. I'm France? I'm one. Yeah, everybody's got their numbers.
Starting point is 00:49:51 All right, seven. I need more sake. Here's the sake. We have another bottle. Here we go. Here we go. It is off to a rough start again. I feel like these were the same two...
Starting point is 00:50:05 This is exactly how it started last time. This is another race. All right, four. I have a feeling the ending is different. Zebra? That's different. You just noticed the zebra? Yeah. It looks black and white.
Starting point is 00:50:18 Wait, that looks like three people. That's sasses, right? Yeah. This is the same race. What the fuck? It's okay. Francis, you're going to win. I'm two.
Starting point is 00:50:36 Oh, Kyle's one. So does eight just lose every time? Why are we watching this? This is the same one. No, it's not. Whoa! That's not. Whoa! What? That's new.
Starting point is 00:50:47 That's new. What's he doing? Oh, man. Oh, he's fighting. He's punching up. He's grandstanding. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Pole dancing.
Starting point is 00:50:56 He's got a chick grinding her clit on a pole. What are the boys doing? They're rushing boys. What are the boys doing? Come on. Oh, he's hanging on the side. Blowing the goat. Some decorum, please.
Starting point is 00:51:08 This is nasty. Come on, three. Was eight. Eight just loses every time? Fight three. Oh, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's cheating.
Starting point is 00:51:18 Not to me. No. That's cheating. No, that's a hell of a move. Six. All right, so, Che, you're giving out a shot. A propeller is a strong move. TJ, let's try to do one with different horses.
Starting point is 00:51:35 So who are you going to give a shot to, Steve and Che? Now, mind you, Sass is already doing one, so we probably don't want to give it to him. All right. Let's go opposite of Sass. Let's go Phil. Okay. Let's go Phil. Okay. What's wrong with that?
Starting point is 00:51:49 Plus, we're about to send in Donnie to learn about Japan. I was shocked is all. Shocked? What do you mean shocked? Couldn't have been shocked. I was just shocked.
Starting point is 00:52:03 Don't worry about me. been shocked. I was just shocked. Shocked. Oh, don't worry about me. Just shocked. You need milk, bro. You need to find milk. I got milk, bro. Not anymore. Oh, you don't? It's in your gullet. Yeah, it is.
Starting point is 00:52:16 That's what counts. All right, so do you need more sake? Yeah, my bad. I don't want to get up yet. Nick, can you pass this down? Gladly. Shoto no to nagate sase. What is it?
Starting point is 00:52:30 TJ, do it again. Shoto no to nagate sase. Shoto no to nagate sase. TJ's so good at it. TJ might be Japanese. That was insane. Have you ever asked your dad if he's Japanese? Could be.
Starting point is 00:52:43 He totally could be. Crazy ass white boy yeah my grandmother went to japan when she was a young lady in the 50s after the war whoa to teach she went over there to teach we found out in her old she's still alive but we found out as she was a little bit older we're like how did you get over there and she said her and one other teacher rode over on a boat full of navy members it was all just dudes in the navy and two women how did that work my cousin was like that must have been fun and she was like oh it was oh are we related i mean my grandfather piping out your grandmother? We might not be related But he might have had a A turn
Starting point is 00:53:27 Really put in the mess in mess hall He might have destroyed her That is insane The fact that she was like Oh yeah it was fun What dude? I'd rather you never say that grandma You guys aren't related
Starting point is 00:53:39 But his Yeah he might have destroyed your grandma Yeah A little spunk in the bunk Yeah what the hell He definitely beat it up. No, she probably broke his heart. She probably moved to the next bunk the next night. He was crying on the boat.
Starting point is 00:53:51 He's just fucking heartbroken. Probably went back to his boyfriend. Don't you fucking dare. On the Navy boat? Those men were not gay. Gay didn't even exist then. Oh, man. You know that, especially amongst the troops.
Starting point is 00:54:04 That's where gay started. In the military? In the American military? They didn't even exist then. Oh, man. You know that, especially amongst the troops. That's where gay started. In the military? In the American military. That's why we have bases all over the world. We're spreading the word. The diaspora of Americanism. He needs some milk.
Starting point is 00:54:19 Thank you. There we are. I guess he brought you some. About time. About time. Thank you, I guess. No, no, no. What do you say? You said thank you, I guess. No, not thank About time. What do you say? You said thank you, I guess.
Starting point is 00:54:27 Not thank you today. What is it? Japanese? Japanese? Arigato. Without the tinge of racism. That was a super Jesus Christ, Phil.
Starting point is 00:54:41 That's how you say it. Oh, man. Arigato. Yeah, arigato. Wait till we're all behind you. Arigato. Ichi, ni, san, shi. What's the rest of the numbers?
Starting point is 00:54:58 I don't know any of them. I only know up to four. Ichi, ni, san, shi. Ichi, ni, san, shi. Ichi, ni, chi. Ich ni san. Type of shit. That type of shit. Meek, you're being nebbish about the milk.
Starting point is 00:55:15 Oh my god. Don't beat around the bush. Meek, you don't have to chug. I never asked you to chug. Oh, with a finger too. Straight dangerous. What kind of day are you about to have? Fun one.
Starting point is 00:55:34 Sake and milk. Yeah, I'm probably the first person to mix those two. That should be your mixtape, bro. Sake and milk. Isn't that a dope mixtape? Oh, fuck. All right, Me Alright Meek well thank you for being here I think that this was very informative And you always add a little something something
Starting point is 00:55:52 Whenever you come onto the act Now wipe yourself off you're covered in milk I'd rather be covered in this than anything else Thanks for having me What could that even mean It's like sitting next to the sphinx dude Thanks for having me. What could that even mean? It's like sitting next to the Sphinx, dude. Better this than anything else.
Starting point is 00:56:17 At least I'm just soaked in milk. I think he meant to say could be worse. I'd rather be covered in milk than anything. He said that was like the top thing to be. Yeah, like ahead of water. Cologne. I'd rather be so. Dude, he said it so confidently too. Oh my God. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:56:45 Oh my God. Like that was like some sage idiom. Well, rather be covered in this. You know what they say. Better be covered in milk than anything else. You know what my grandfather always said. At least it's my favorite substance. Better milk than anything else.
Starting point is 00:57:01 Soap. I mean, there are a lot of things. So many. I'd put a head a lot of things. So many. I'd put a head. Mink film. To mink film. Mink film. Well, I'd rather be covered in this than anything else.
Starting point is 00:57:17 All right. Oh, man. Fuck. All right. Let's get Donnie in here. Let's get Donnie in here and let's do another race. Let's find out some actual facts about Japan. What are you grabbing, sassy boy? Okay, fair enough.
Starting point is 00:57:42 You're definitely about to say that, right? Not today. Are you alone? No, fair enough. You're definitely allowed to say that, right? Not today. No, thank you. Not on a day like today. I'm enjoying this sake. I actually really am. It's fantastic, and I feel great right now. Buzz is a...
Starting point is 00:57:56 Taking shots of wine is such a more palatable... Because the shot-taking part of taking shots is the most fun. More fun than even imbibing the alcohol, and the fact that there's less alcohol in this. Yeah, it elicits like excitability that a sip can't. That's what I think the Russians really have right as a culture is like they just toast to anything. Do the Japanese do that as well? Are they heavy toasters?
Starting point is 00:58:17 I don't know. How do you say cheers in Japanese? That's a good one. I've got to figure that out. Rear? Rear? Rear? Rear cam. He'll make an off-color joke.
Starting point is 00:58:33 The last thing we need is our top racist in here right now. Yeah. I thought it was interesting. Not on a dot today. Not our top racist today. 364 days a year, but not today. We're races today. 364 days a year, but not today. We're respecting today. No, but when you were talking about the fact that they have a disdain for young children
Starting point is 00:58:50 and that's contributing to their birth rate, isn't one of Japan's best TV shows the little kids going to go on? Without a doubt. Is that Japan? Is that Japan? I think so. Where else would it be? And they're also the most respectful children by far.
Starting point is 00:59:04 I think there's a heavy metal band called Baby Metal. That's Japanese little girls. Yeah, they just did a collab with Lil Uzi Vert on his last album. Very cool. Am I drawing a blank? Who are the popular Japanese music artists that are mainstream? J-pop? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:20 Is that what it's called? J-pop? It's like K-pop. Joji, I guess, but he's more American. Yeah. Never really got into Jo called? J-pop. It's like K-pop. Joji, I guess, but he's more American. Yeah. Never really got into Joji. Yoko Ono.
Starting point is 00:59:30 I loved Joji. Yoko Ono. Yoko Ono is an enemy of America. Why? I guess an enemy of... England. England, yeah. Well, they both came and just met in the middle in America. We do not fuck with her.
Starting point is 00:59:43 Also, that image of their ass cracks, I was dismayed to learn, has been altered. It's altered. I was happy to learn. Oh, I didn't know it was altered. I couldn't handle that. Yeah, that was insane. Him laying naked in the bed with her, like a man going like this naked is like, I don't like that angle of a naked man.
Starting point is 01:00:00 Yeah, that's the knee on knee, basically. Especially, there's just that whole region of the male body that's maybe one of the most disgusting things in the world. The gooch? The gooch. The gooch is top three most disgusting things on Earth. It's never not smelled like anything. No.
Starting point is 01:00:19 When you guys wash yourselves, what's the first thing that you wash? The gooch. Habitually, the groin region. I don't know why. I wash under my balls as soon as I get in the shower. I go straight for the asshole. Really?
Starting point is 01:00:32 I wash my asshole first. I definitely do the asshole too quickly. I'm a top down man. I do armpits first. I think the gooch is more disgusting than the asshole. No, no. Yeah, for some reason there's a smell that lingers from the gooch. Gooch isn't gross without the asshole.
Starting point is 01:00:47 Yeah, but it's more of an asshole than it is a gooch, honestly. It's just an extension of the asshole. The asshole is more of an asshole than the asshole. Or the gooch is more of an asshole than the asshole. Is the gooch ribbed or scaly? I don't even know what it looks like. It has a seam. Oh, yeah, the seam.
Starting point is 01:01:07 The seam sucks. It's like an inflatable couch. The seam is so inconvenient. I want the seam. I want to remove my seam. Mine is tight, too. I would love to get rid of my seam. Can we do that?
Starting point is 01:01:16 I want a smooth gooch. Can we get rid of our seam? The seam sucks. Can we call in to a plastic surgeon right now and ask to get rid of the seam? That's the worst part. They could probably pull it out when a sushi chef is getting rid of the fat of a fish. I want my draw it out. I want my gooch to be looking like a delivery app, dude.
Starting point is 01:01:35 Seamless. Now, is that a tendon? I don't think so. It feels like a knee tendon. Perennial rafe. Is that what rappers are talking about when they talk about their Rafe? Perennial Rafe?
Starting point is 01:01:50 I would pay a good amount of money to go seamless. Definitely, dude. Look at all the pussy you'd get. So much pussy. What about the seam on the... Am I your family in the waiting room at the hospital? Dude, fuck, I'm a seam cell. What if you had a... What if you just make it into a zipper?
Starting point is 01:02:06 Ew, gross. I mean, the zipper extension is probably a 30 second surgery. Is it? Yeah, but the seam, you need America's top doctors. Yeah. To go full smooth? You'd probably have to reverse the seam and make it go in. Inwards.
Starting point is 01:02:20 Yeah. Penis has a seam too. The base of the penis Underline I think that's the end It's the same seam I think that's the end of the gooch That's the same seam That's the scrotal
Starting point is 01:02:29 It's like if you pull out The scrotal seam Will that all come out One fell swoop I think so That's the gates to the gooch St. Louis Arch My gooch will
Starting point is 01:02:37 Seam like Burns in the summer Upon touch Yours is like The Harry Potter scar Whenever Voldemort I hate you His eye glows blue Whenever orcs are around upon touch. Yours is like the Harry Potter scar. Whenever Voldemort is close. Mine glows blue whenever orcs are around.
Starting point is 01:02:52 We need to get out of here. Babe, my seam is on fire. We need to get inside. I really be like that. It's like Brandon with his migraines. I need to get inside. You get blotchy. The lights in here
Starting point is 01:03:06 are fucking up my seam. Can't be outside. My seam is on fire. To KB's underseam. The seam. The seam. Arigato. You're saying it
Starting point is 01:03:20 like a pasta dish. I think that's how you say it. Arigato. Arigato. I thought it was arigato. Arig it. Arigato. Arigato. I thought it was arigato. Arigato. Arigato. Arigato.
Starting point is 01:03:29 Oh, what? Arigato. Gozaimasu. You sound like Gothmog. You sounded like fucking Optimus Prime. You sound like the Cave of Wonders. Oh, my God. That's pretty good, man.
Starting point is 01:03:41 It gets deep. Arigato. You're good, too. Oh, my God. How are you guys doing that? I can't do man. It gets deep. You're good, too. Oh, my God. How are you guys doing that? I can't do it. This is bad. We shouldn't be doing this.
Starting point is 01:03:55 Me and Sass might be the most manly men in Japan, though. Oh, my God. How are you guys doing it? You sound like two heads of a dragon. I'm pissed off. Arigato. Why are you guys doing that? You sound like two heads of a dragon. I'm pissed off, yeah. You're just, you don't use your mouth. You just talk with, like, your lungs.
Starting point is 01:04:14 Zapper. Arigato. Yeah, all right, all right. You're not even close, KB. Yeah, that's like a higher pitch. You sound like when I used to, like to pretend to fake burp as a child. What the fuck? All right, should we? Let's race, let's race.
Starting point is 01:04:32 Let's spin for our next. 45 minutes left. Why do we have to get out of here? It's so lame. I know. We gotta be out of here by 2.45. Fuck. I cleaned up and out.
Starting point is 01:04:43 Today? Of all days? Of all days. There's two different podcasts using this room after out. Today? Of all days? Of all days. There's two different podcasts using this room after us. Why? No. That's your number one. Wow, thanks.
Starting point is 01:04:52 That's huge. Number one always wins. Thank you. Ah, Guantanamo. Please, let me pour you up, brother. Ichiwa. Would you like a sake? We need some intel.
Starting point is 01:05:12 So you'll be the meek sliver of this. We're doing races, and we're learning about races, because we don't have deep knowledge about Japan. We have a lot of questions about their culture, their opinions, and their traditions. And we want to start with this. What do they think of us Americans? So what a who?
Starting point is 01:05:32 Japanese? Japanese. They would never say anything bad to an American's face. But? For sure. So they think better of Americans than they think about other Asians. Yeah, Chinese and Koreans. Yeah, they're very racist towards other Asians.
Starting point is 01:05:50 Yes. Why? They would prefer to have like a bunch of Americans in the country than like a bunch of Chinese, Vietnamese, Koreans. What about, so is it about white people? Is it nationalistic or is it about the country? Is it, they just kind of see themselves as like the best Asians. Ah. But I think they have tried to tone that down since World War II.
Starting point is 01:06:18 So you've been in the country since 7? Yes, I have been. Did you feel exceptionally safe? Yeah, I did. There was one time I was doing work in a McDonald's using the free Wi-Fi, and I had to run to a convenience store across the street, so I asked a Japanese man, I was like, can you watch my computer?
Starting point is 01:06:39 I'll be right back. I ended up being gone for maybe 25 minutes. I came back, and he was literally still watching my computer. Staring at it? Just staring at the computer. Amazing. That's amazing. That's cool. Yeah, and I don't even think.
Starting point is 01:06:53 It's kind of insane. I don't think I needed to ask him. I think I could have left my laptop there for like four hours. No one would have thought of stealing it. Yeah, KB, that was your early fact, that you can leave your electronics around and no one will steal them. Yeah, that's a no-no. Yeah, I made that up. I didn't know that. I heard they don't
Starting point is 01:07:09 steal. And you can go there with just English and be fine? Yeah, now Japanese people, even if they know how to speak English, they're very embarrassed to speak English to a native speaker. Okay. In China, you'll hear a lot
Starting point is 01:07:26 more people speaking english just like japan they get very embarrassed they're very prideful they don't want to look stupid and yeah where it's like i'm not gonna care i obviously know you're not gonna be able to speak perfect like if you mess up some grammar i'm not gonna care but i bet that's an insight into how they feel about english or like uh english-speaking people speaking their language they're probably like oh they bungle the fuck out of our language we don't want to bungle their language because we find it disrespectful what's the like what's like the average income in japan like are they like uh it's pretty very high toward the top thank you for being here donnie no what are our horse numbers i'm one.
Starting point is 01:08:05 Oh, yeah. So when you guys were playing that clip, everyone outside was going nuts. Really? Yeah, when the horse was doing the gritty. The Pan World Cup's awesome. I listened to a clip of that, and you were saying if you were in Japan, you'd want to visit Australia because you'd be close. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:21 That's like a 9.5-hour flight. Oh, my God. Yeah, so not very close to Australia. Not close. Oh, I'm ignorant. How far is it from other Asian nations? Yeah. I mean, I should have spent a lot more time in Japan. I only realized it my like last year in China that you can get, you get dirt cheap flights
Starting point is 01:08:42 from Shanghai to Osaka, I think, for maybe like $120 round trip or like $200 round trip. The plane's nice or no? No. It's on this airline called Peach Airlines, which is the- I've heard of that. It's the spirit of Japan. But you could just get these dirt cheap flights.
Starting point is 01:09:00 So I started taking advantage of that towards the end of my time there. It's an awesome country. It's just the best place to eat i have ever been you could be there for like two weeks just walking around eating and drinking and not get bored like street food is it is that a popular thing there yeah just all the restaurants they have this area called golden guy which is all these tiny bars that have like four seats in them. Don't they have a thing where you're still hooked up? You can go to a restaurant and not have to look at anybody. Like they do it all behind like a.
Starting point is 01:09:31 I would love that. Yeah, they do have that. You get alone. You're in like a pod. They also have. I accidentally booked a love hotel. Those are hotels. I remember that video. That was Japan, not China?
Starting point is 01:09:43 No, that was China. No, that was Japan, not China? No, that was China. No, that was Japan. And that one, like the one that had all that crazy sadomasochism stuff, I booked that on purpose to film a video. But the first time I ended up at one, it was completely by accident. And I show up expecting to talk to the person in the lobby and get my keys. The Love Hotels are built so you have to have zero human interaction because there's a lot of shame if you're bringing a girl to a hotel to bang.
Starting point is 01:10:15 They don't want you to have to deal with that shame. So you don't have to check in with a human being. You just show up, press a button, and then this little vending machine shoots out your key. And then you can choose if you want that room just for an hour for a quick bang sesh or if you want it for 24 hours. When I went to Iceland, that's what it was too. It was all checking in on your phone and then you go and you enter a passcode and the key comes out. Okay. How does the cleaning process work with that?
Starting point is 01:10:46 Is there just people that work or they just not clean it? I was wondering about that when I was in there, when I was nice. Once you press the button that says, like, I have checked out, they do send someone in. They send someone in. Yeah. Just squeegee up the lovemaking. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:00 The love on the floor. So KB was asking earlier. Imagine you go in there and you just press, like, three minutes. Yeah. The love on the floor. So KB was asking earlier. Imagine you go in there and you just press like three minutes. Yeah. Well, I wonder what the rate is to just beat off quickly. Yeah. I know you're a speed demon. Speed demon, speed demon.
Starting point is 01:11:16 Yeah. You can finish that thing off fast. But KB was wondering earlier, how accurate is our representation of their food? You know how American Chinese food really isn't similar to the Chinese food in China? How accurate is America's representation of Japanese food? Like a bocce restaurant, Japanese steakhouse here. Ramen. I think it's pretty accurate, just higher quality over there.
Starting point is 01:11:43 Yeah, that's great food. Better fish. Yeah, I didn't have like a single bad meal there even at 7-eleven if you grab the sushi from 7-eleven in japan no way it's pretty top notch i i heard that it's less sushi sushi is not really the main thing over there but ramen is what everyone thinks like if you're gonna go that's what you should really taste. Yeah, I mean, the ramen's great. The okoyama yaki, which are those Japanese savory pancakes. Oh, those look good as fuck. Weigu, is weigu Japanese? Yes.
Starting point is 01:12:14 Weigu beef? So good. Weigu. And there's only limited- Weigu? And Kobe beef? Never heard anyone say weigu. Yeah, they have those restaurants where they just, you're kind of seated at a hot stove
Starting point is 01:12:26 and they just bring you out the cuts of steak and you get to cook them yourself. Like a Brazil. So good. Yeah, that's fucking sweet. What are you guys laughing at? I missed it. I said Wagyu? How ignorant you are to the way it's called.
Starting point is 01:12:37 I've never heard it that way. Oh, you mean the way? Never heard it said that way. But aren't there certain... Why in it? Aren't there certain steakhouses in the United States that have been like... Even in New York, they got in trouble for saying that it was Wagyu beef. But not actually.
Starting point is 01:12:55 But it wasn't actually. It wasn't certified. What's the process like? Is it about the beef? It's like super, super marbled, is it not? I believe it's how the cow is fed. I don't think we're listening to you anymore about your fucking Wagyu burgers.
Starting point is 01:13:08 Let's put on a fucking... Let's talk about steaks, baby. Well, you know, same animal. Let's do a race. Let's do this race. Can you do WWE 2K23, please? Let me do a WWE 2K23 first. I think those cows are like massaged
Starting point is 01:13:24 and maybe jacked off. I don't know. They're jacked off? I think the cows are just like. You could taste when they're not. Yeah. Speaking of jacked dudes. You don't want your beef full of cum.
Starting point is 01:13:38 No. It's also traditionally a very salty meat, so you don't really need to season it much. A wild fact is I don't think the Japanese really ate beef until they were introduced to America. Until they had contact with the U.S. and they saw how much Americans love beef, then they were like, oh, we should start eating beef. That's what I was saying, because no Asian cultures really use dairy Yeah, a lot of like Chinese. Oh, so they're right in the tip. They have a natural lactose intolerance They're on the jock heavy
Starting point is 01:14:18 Saki and milk I could see it being like a drill shit. Shout out meek Phil. What color is that font? It looks pink. No, no, no. That's green. Yeah, it looks pink. It just looks pink. WWE 2K23. Play WWE 2K23 for free this weekend on Steam.
Starting point is 01:14:42 The 3rd through the 7th or on Xbox One or Series XS from the 3rd through the 6th. Available on Xbox or Xbox Live Gold. Basically, you want to be playing this game. The Deluxe Edition is on sale for the first half of this month on PlayStation 4 and 5. It's a fantastic game. We played it before on this exact program. And the Revel with Wyatt DLC pack is out right now featuring the boy Bray Wyatt and Uncle Howdy along with Blair Davenport, Joe Gacy, Valhalla, and Zeus. Luckily, this DLC is included with the season pass in deluxe slash icon editions of WWE 2K23. And if you're playing on Steam or on Xbox, take a screenshot of your character that you're making and submit it to the Yak via social platforms with the hashtag Barstool2KSweepstakes. And that's going to have you plugged in with us.
Starting point is 01:15:33 We've had some great submissions already. People made everybody on the show. Donnie, they need to make a character of you. We need a Donnie and a Shohei Otani stat on wwe 2k23 and reminder summer slam is this weekend wwe 2k23 is also free to play on xbox and steam this weekend so here's everyone's chance to jump into the summer slam ring with your own superstar in wwe 2k23 and i have it on good accord that the championship belt you're winning is the show usedused championship belt from the WWE episode we did earlier this year. Whoa, shut up.
Starting point is 01:16:08 That's a real-ass, nice-ass belt. No, it has our germs. Yeah. It's been touched by us. We could all be cloned. Oh. Clone us. DNA is all over that bitch.
Starting point is 01:16:17 Yego. Yego. Yego. Yego. Yego. Yego my Yego, bro. Yego, where are you from? New Jersey.
Starting point is 01:16:24 All right. Where are your grandparents? from? New Jersey. All right. Where are your grandparents? A name like Yago. All right. What a twist. Possibly Japan. Mexico and Spain. Diego?
Starting point is 01:16:34 No, I thought, I always call him Yago. Well, what did you think? Yago my Yago. Yeah. What did you think Yago was? I don't know. Not New Jersey. Mexico and Spain, he said. Someone asked if I was, I think it was Francis. He said, are you Mexican? But? I don't know. Not New Jersey. Mexico and Spain, he said.
Starting point is 01:16:45 Someone asked if I was, I think it was Francis. He said, are you Mexican? But my name's Diego Rodriguez. Like, what did you think I was? God, Francis, you're such a fucking moron. Yeah, you did. Oh, when? What?
Starting point is 01:16:55 Let me guess. You don't know how to pronounce Wegu either. I said, are you from Mexico? You probably didn't ask. He said, you are Mexican. No, I don't think you phrased it that way. I phrased it wrong. He said, are you of descent?
Starting point is 01:17:05 Mexican descent? Jesus, Francis. I phrased it wrong. You said, are you of descent? Mexican descent? Jesus, Francis. That's a fair question. No, it wasn't. I didn't take it personally. I just was like, I don't know. I think that's a weird question to get sometimes from people. Wouldn't you expect, if your name's Diego Rodriguez, that you're Mexican?
Starting point is 01:17:16 Have you talked to HR? Because I would report you. Oh, you were surprised that I didn't assume you were from Mexico. Yeah, I was surprised you didn't assume. Oh, yeah, you should have assumed. I try not to assume. No, he had to figure out where you're from so he could know where was surprised you didn't assume. Oh, yeah. You should have assumed. I try not to assume. No, he had to figure out where you're from so he could know where to tell you where to go back to. Where is Alex Rodriguez? I think, isn't
Starting point is 01:17:32 Alex Rodriguez? Miami. Buy him a plane ticket. It's literally Miami. You're very conscious when it comes to that. It was either that or a life jacket to swim back and forth. Oh, Francis. To the fact that you've been grinding all summer.
Starting point is 01:17:49 Hard. To a fantastic summer and hopefully a fantastic— Diego, are you 21? 22. Oh, okay. You're 22s. And down the hatch, brother. Me and him are the same age. When's your birthday?
Starting point is 01:18:02 February 7th. Damn, you're older than me. Wow. Have you guys been doing the sake, sake, sake thing? What's that? What do you mean? When you pound the table? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:17 It's a sushi sake. That's a sake bomb. Funding of cultures there. They don't do sake bombs in Japan. Right. How they don't do Irish car bombs in Ireland. That's like offensive, right? Kanpai.
Starting point is 01:18:31 Kanpai. Kanpai. Kanpai. Kanpai. Kanpai. That type of shit. That's so funny. Question for Francis and Sass.
Starting point is 01:18:43 Sam Tallon, I think, is doing shows in Japan very soon. He travels across the world. So is he getting booked at comedy clubs over there that are big amongst the expats in Japan? Because I assume he doesn't have a big Japanese following. I'm going to let Sass take this one. I think he just goes wherever he's booked. He's someone who's on the road 50 weeks out of the year, and he'll perform anywhere.
Starting point is 01:19:11 I don't think he gives a fuck where he's going. I think he loves to travel, so he might even ask his booking agent, like, find me shows. I think he does. I think he has a weirdly big fan base in Paris, I want to say. He said that his France shows are always huge. Do they cover their mouth when they laugh?
Starting point is 01:19:28 The Japanese schoolgirls do. Because showing the teeth is offensive? No, I don't. I have no idea. You're always doing your impression of a Japanese schoolgirl. Anyone can do that. Sam Talon's awesome.
Starting point is 01:19:44 He's funny as fuck Are like Are like Man Pop stars ever performing In Tokyo I don't really see that For sure
Starting point is 01:19:50 Kanye did a show there I think Like when I was living in China I remember Kanye doing shows I saw a tweet yesterday That was like Both of these artists
Starting point is 01:19:59 Drop an album This week Who sells more And it was Kanye and Eminem And everyone was saying eminem and i was like there's no way you don't think no kanye's that like close to like but but around his peak and that's fame though no i don't know not album sales he's not in his peak right now i think he's but eminem is like no one listens to eminem hasn't dropped an album in so long that
Starting point is 01:20:22 people might be more excited for it fan base, rabid fan base. It's huge. I don't know. I feel like it would easily be Kanye. You know that Eminem is one of the highest selling artists of all time. Do you think I'm really, really dumb? Thank you guys for having me. What's your favorite Eminem album?
Starting point is 01:20:41 What's the one? Marshall Mathers LP. What's yours, Francis? Can't say it today. Probably Eminem's show or Marshall Mathers LP. Although I liked both of those. Suit the race. I like recovery.
Starting point is 01:21:02 Francis, I didn't mean to yell at you. That's okay. I feel bad. No, don't worry about it. Obviously, I know Eminem is one of you. That's okay. I feel bad. No, don't worry about it. Obviously, I know Eminem is one of the highest-selling artists of all time. I didn't know. It's before your time. No way.
Starting point is 01:21:13 Yeah, he was. Do you guys remember your numbers at all? He blew up right when I was done. I'm not a... I'm seven. You're five, Mick. Five? Thank you.
Starting point is 01:21:22 Donnie's five. I'm five. Donnie's five. I'm five. Donnie's five. I'm ten. And subscribe. Definitely. And subscribe to it. Don't forget.
Starting point is 01:21:40 Subscribe to the show. Zaz, two. How much time do we have? Can I have another drink? 20 minutes. Six minutes, of course. No, no, no. Nick is one. Zaz, two. How much time do we have? Can I have another drink? 20 minutes. Six minutes, of course. No, no, no, no, no. Nick is three. Cool.
Starting point is 01:21:50 Six minutes? No, we have to be out of here by 2.40. 2.40, all right. We got time. Like, cleaned up and out of here. We'll be fine, dude. Why aren't they just using the podcast studios? Are they booked?
Starting point is 01:22:00 I left Mike's. They have to understand we're celebrating Japanese culture. And if they want to spit in the face of Japanese culture, the fact that they set up in the lobby at 2 o'clock makes me, it rankles me. Bring them in. KB's 5. Have you guys ever heard of Pachinko? Francis' 6.
Starting point is 01:22:20 Isaiah Pachinko? Yeah, it's the gambling game. Yeah, it's the gambling game. Because in Japan, there's a rule that you can't gamble for cash. So everybody plays this game called Pachenko. It's with a bunch of these tiny silver balls, and you push a lot of buttons. It looks awesome. And then you win the balls, and you can trade in the balls for home goods, like a mop or paper towel.
Starting point is 01:22:45 Amazing. Or something like that. That's probably the most honorable thing they can get to tidy the home. Japanese video game arcades. Oh, God. Yeah. Well, I looked it up. Pachinko does like more people, more money goes into Pachinko than like all of Las Vegas.
Starting point is 01:23:02 Wow. Or Macau. And all they get out of it is mops and like booms. And like toothpaste. Unbelievable. than all of Las Vegas or Macau. And all they get out of it is mops and booms? And toothpaste. Unbelievable. But I think there's a loophole where then you can like... Trade in your toothpaste for... Yeah, then you can trade in the toothpaste for cash.
Starting point is 01:23:17 I don't know. It's wild, but yeah, there's... So is there gambling cafes everywhere? There's just these gigantic pachinko palaces. To pachinko. To pachinko. All over Tokyo. To pachinko.
Starting point is 01:23:29 Another fun fact, Tokyo is 50 miles south of Las Vegas. Wow. Wouldn't have guessed that. Wouldn't think. No. Wouldn't have guessed that at all. There are arcades. Every floor you go up, there's a harder difficulty of game.
Starting point is 01:23:42 Oh, shit. Like the mall where the rich stuff is on the top floor. Yeah. Let's play this race. Play this race. What a day. Everyone remembers their numbers? I know, I wish we could keep going. This is fun. Hey, TJ, am I four or five? I'm six.
Starting point is 01:23:58 I'm three. Jay's eight. Three. Alright, one looking good. I'm one. Let's ask again with a regular horse. This is an insight to how they see our other cultures. I know. Should we skip forward a little bit?
Starting point is 01:24:16 No, no, no. I want to be surprised if two wins this one. This two is just a normal horse. Except I do feel like the jockey's got a little sluttier. Yeah, yeah. Holy shit. It's a slut jockey. No shame in that.
Starting point is 01:24:34 No. I would actually do that. How much do you think that would improve the numbers of like... Holy shit. What is that on the horse? Is that a cock? It's a blonde pompadour. Yeah, if it was just girls with fucking double Ds.
Starting point is 01:24:46 Come on, everybody. Won't you hold my hand? That would be a good idea. What's that giant thing coming out of its head? It's a pompadour. Is this different? Is this different?
Starting point is 01:24:53 Elvis haircut. Come on, everybody. They look the same. Hold my hand tonight. Awesome. Dude, every night I find myself going to bed just being like, Barstool changed my life. Changed my life.
Starting point is 01:25:10 Singing it around my apartment the whole day. Surrounded by mold. Yeah. Awesome. Oh! I feel like, okay, they gave the show. See? You see how they see other cultures.
Starting point is 01:25:24 Panda bears aren't that fast, though, I don't think. This isn't real. I hope the eight gets demolished again right away. Who's six? Okay. I feel like six could fly. That's Australia. That's a baby. It's a boy, yeah. His legs are straight Australia. That's a baby.
Starting point is 01:25:46 That's a boy, yeah. His legs are straight out. That's a little boy. His legs are straight in front. Certainly he won't. How did he convince these people to let him off? Horse.
Starting point is 01:25:55 That's a horse. What? This is actually really funny. That's me. This is love. Look at his legs. Is 8 just going to be the three dudes again?
Starting point is 01:26:09 They got to come up with a better ending for 8. It's three dudes again. Who has 8? Che has the three dudes again. I would like to see 8 pull off a win
Starting point is 01:26:19 and not just crash and burn instantly. It might only be two dudes. The guy on the top might not be real. Oh, he looks fake. It's a hollow. Yeah, it only be two dudes. The guy on the top might not be real. Oh, he looks fake. It's a hollow. Yeah, it is only two dudes.
Starting point is 01:26:29 But this is a different chassis than they usually have for the three dudes. Great observation, Ron. What number am I? To the I. The I? I.
Starting point is 01:26:39 Donnie, Donnie. I don't have any sake. Can someone load me up? Let's load him up. Bring that thing over, brother. Jay, can you pause it real quick while we load up? How are you boys doing on the bottle in there? Zuck, can you do some damage?
Starting point is 01:26:52 Thank you, pal. Let's see if Ronnie in this situation will do some sake. Ron, may I have a... Chef Donnie's uncle is randomly a sake sommelier. Holy shit. Here we go. Oh, I'm in the lead. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:27:10 It's four. Oh, they're all ready. I'm four. I'm four. All right, let's go. All right. Three in the lead. Oh, he's gritting already.
Starting point is 01:27:23 Not just too early. Too early to gritty And Interesting technique from seven there's eight bring it up the ring. I think eight might get a win this time It's trying the outside. Oh look look at him go. Here comes 8. About to explode right here. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:27:49 Who would have thought? God damn it. I don't like 1 hitting the gritty this early. No. He's only using two of his legs. Come on. Oh, he's getting tight. He's going to pull some shit. He's getting tight right around this back.
Starting point is 01:28:01 I think the mini won. Oh, Panda. Oh. Panda's making a run for it. Is he going to trip off the elephant? No, the elephant's on the inside. Oh, what? He is so fast.
Starting point is 01:28:09 This gritty needs to die. That gritty is. Wait, that horse is getting longer. Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The horse is long. Spreading it out. Stretch.
Starting point is 01:28:18 Someone's going to make a move. Who's making a move? Oh. What is that? Oh. What is he doing? What's the flag? What is that flag on the back?
Starting point is 01:28:27 You got to stop grittying, dude. Is that three? Oh, the little one just started grittying. The little one's grittying. The little one's grittying. The elephant. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 01:28:35 Oh. Oh. Oh. The ballerina finish. Who was it? Who was it? That was me. All right, Sasha. Give one out. We got to? That was me. All right, Sasson.
Starting point is 01:28:45 Give one out. We got to do one more. We have to. We have to. Holy shit. I don't know who wants it. What a rush. If you could do this in Vegas,
Starting point is 01:28:53 it would be like insanely popular. They bet. I think they're. But when the DVDs come out. Okay. Imagine working in that DVD factory. Sasson, give one out. And who came in last? Johnny. Sask, give one out.
Starting point is 01:29:06 And who came in last? Johnny. Donnie, you can get one. All right, Donnie, rip one. Guest of honor. And let's spin the wheel again, and let's get another one going. Hey, to a great race. That was a great race.
Starting point is 01:29:15 Great race. Incredible race. Damn good race. Ugh. Hey. You almost flipped this chair. How did you just fall sitting down? You didn't even Wait, your mic is unplugged You fell
Starting point is 01:29:32 This is the best sake we've had Yeah, this is the one for the white man This one's good, I like this one You know what I actually do a guilty pleasure sake? The green apple Oh, it's so good I think I had that with you Yogurt one, yeah
Starting point is 01:29:44 It's really good When you buy a bottle in a restaurant, your fiance now taught us to tie that in a knot and you flick it. Oh, yeah. You do that with Honey, you're number one. Soju. Okay, I'm number one. Soju, that's what you do. Is that what we used to drink?
Starting point is 01:29:58 No, baijiu. Baijiu. Soju is Korean, though, no? Baijiu's made from rice. Sake's made from rice, but b Baijiu is made from rice. Sake is made from rice. But Baijiu tastes like demon jizz. It tastes incredible. In a good way? No, not in a good way.
Starting point is 01:30:14 Who is number two there? I'm number two. Your name is still on there. That's true. I have one cultural question about Japan. Go ahead and ask. You answer. You got it. Maybe you answer as well maybe you might know so pre-covid everyone in Japan
Starting point is 01:30:30 would wear masks on the subway is that just because it's like a germaphobic culture I would imagine but not sure I think it's rude to go out when you're sick and so if you do work when you have a cold or go out when you have a cold you wear a mask they've always done it I don't know if it was everybody out when you're sick and so if you do work when you have a cold or go out when you have a cold you wear a mask. They've always done it.
Starting point is 01:30:47 I don't know if it was everybody. I thought like historically there was a poison gas attack on the Japanese subway system by the 80s. Some like terrorists released sarin gas on the subway. You got terrorists? I mean I think that's one of the few
Starting point is 01:31:04 terrorist attacks in Japanese history. They had a really bad serial killer that, like, rocked the country to the core because they never had one before. It's an interesting YouTube video. What era? I think 90s. Oh, wow. I could be wrong way off, but I want to see it.
Starting point is 01:31:19 Francis number seven and then KB number eight. Let's get this race started. I don't know where I was. Was I six? Is anybody else six? Four. I'm two. Four.
Starting point is 01:31:28 So Donnie, Nick, myself, Sass, Rone, Che, Francis, KB. Ah. Whoa. Pass that sake back over. Pass the sake. Boys, clean race. Clean race. Oh, it's off.
Starting point is 01:31:40 Oh. Come on, two. Four. I mean, I'm unstoppable. Four always gets that early start. I might go three out of four. Oh, they're already jigging. Look at that whore go.
Starting point is 01:31:58 You guys were hiding the shrimp chips? Uh, yeah. Want some of those? Prawns? Prawn crackers, yes. I like the panda winning. I really want to see Seven take it home. I've never seen Stephen Chay this infuriating.
Starting point is 01:32:13 Who's eight? I was eight. Gotta give eight a win. It's gotta be right here. Here comes the turn. What's gonna happen? Oh, no! They need just like one alternative ending for eight.
Starting point is 01:32:27 I like the running joke. It's really funny. The running joke. Four is cooking, but, I mean, one is going to win. Why? Because one always wins. And eight always loses. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:39 It might just end in order. Oh, look at her go. But four is moving. There's a couple where the woman gets naked. Oh! Whoa! Go, Panda! Go, Panda!
Starting point is 01:32:49 Go! Go, Panda! Go! No. Oh, he can't. He's doing the cannonball from Hook. He's gonna. Remember when the fat kid in Hook does the cannonball?
Starting point is 01:32:59 Oh, yeah. No, he's slowing down. He's slowing down. What is that? Whoa! What the fuck is this? What is that? It's a pompadour.
Starting point is 01:33:07 It's a guy that's pompadour. Four. How's the baby keeping up? Who is that? Four. No, that's not four. Four is the Americans. Is that two?
Starting point is 01:33:19 Three? Who's the pompadour guy? Three. Three. Who's three poppador guy? Three. Who's three? Za. And eight takes a drink because they came in last. Oh, man.
Starting point is 01:33:32 We could do one more. One more. One more. One more. Same horses. Everybody drinks. Everybody drinks. Za.
Starting point is 01:33:38 Everybody drinks. Same horses. Yeah. Fuck. No, we can spin it again. No, no, no, no. They're not here yet. I like the same horses. I have a feeling No, we can spin it again. No, no, no, no. They're not here yet. I like the same horses.
Starting point is 01:33:47 I have a feeling eight's going to do something different. All right. Come on, everybody. Let me hold your hand tonight. Here we go. Here we go. The only thing that will make this better for us is covered in milk. All right.
Starting point is 01:34:04 We have the same horses? Yeah Is the girl gonna get naked in this one? She better Somebody fucking knows what fucking this is She doesn't Alright I've seen enough from one
Starting point is 01:34:15 I'm tired of one I think the commentator just said pee pee though Kui Anyone wanna try this matcha? Sure. They do have like porn cafes in Japan, which is just like a small little room with a bunch of porn magazines. You want to rub one out real fast? Oh, Kyle.
Starting point is 01:34:41 I know. Damn, eight lost? Oh. Come on, two. Possibly happen. Oh. Oh. Look at him go.
Starting point is 01:35:00 I don't want the gritty to win again. That's just like one trick pony No one's gonna turn or I could sing there. Oh And us flying yeah My god, what's he doing? No, not my bad. You should turn this into like a PS5 game. Get it, get it, get it. Yeah. Oh! What a finish! Oh!
Starting point is 01:35:29 Oh! Who's seven? And he's dead. And he's dead. Worth it. The jockey's dead. Wow. Wow.
Starting point is 01:35:42 Hell of a race. Give it a shot. Nick. Yep. Ar of a race. Give it a shot. Nick. Yep. Arigato, friend. Can you hand me that sake? Arigato. Arigato.
Starting point is 01:35:57 Arigato. Arigato. Okay. I'm resentful that we're cut short. I'm so resentful I could have gone to four But at the same time Some things burn fast
Starting point is 01:36:10 And they burn bright And Shohei Otani Day was exactly that What the fuck man This was great Sake is such a good thing to get fucked up off of Such a slow nice burn And I couldn't pick some better people To get fucked up with than such a slow nice burn and uh i couldn't pick some better people to get fucked up with you guys yeah thank you for the culture thank you for the stats from
Starting point is 01:36:32 shohei otani thank you for the work in the booth yeah thanks to games nick this was exactly what i wanted and more thank you for the gear kb thank you for running everything and finding these fucking snacks, TJ. Ah, Che. Donnie, Nick, Francis, Sass. KB. Come back. Arigato. Arigato.
Starting point is 01:36:54 Arigato. Arigato. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yankees love Islayak Islayak

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